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scifimagpie · 9 months

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Last Updated: Mar 2024 So, I realised I hadn't actually written one of these, and I had to fix it!

Name: Magpie, or Shelle, or Michelle.

Pronouns: she/her or xe/xer/xis.

Who: both a writer and an editor!

The Writing: I’ve been publishing since 2011, and I have a bunch of free and paid anthologies I’ve organized, but these are my most important/favourite works.

Except for The Meaning Wars series, all of my books are set in Canada!

The Meaning Wars (complete; And The Stars Will Sing, The Stolen: Two Short Stories, The Meaning Wars, Poe’s Outlaws, A Jade’s Trick, The Meaning Wars Complete Omnibus)

Similar to: Becky Chambers’ A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet and Ruthanna Emrys’ A Half-Built Garden

Vibes: Space opera! Found family! Mature (30s) protagonists! Best friends! Sapphic and queer m/f romance elements! Friendly space raptors! Space pirates! A beach episode! Antifascism! Colonization (and inequality issues)! Fighting stuff with democracy and direct action!

The Underlighters (Book 1 of The Nightmare Cycle; Book 2, Monsters and Fools, is complete and in edits. Book 3, The Foundling City, is a current WIP!)

Similar to: Jean DuPrau’s The City of Ember, Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere, the Fallout series

Vibes: Coming of age/new adult themes. Spooky monsters. Post-apocalyptic. The importance and warmth of community. Friendship. Struggling with teen problems. Polyamory. Nightmares. Mental health issues. Trauma. Hope. Recycling.

After The Garden (Book 1 of the Memory Bearers Saga; Book 2, Within the Tempest, is also one of my WIPs)

Similar to: Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake, The Wachowski sisters’ Sense-8, the Fallout series

Vibes: Found family. Gentle romance. Polyamory (m/f/m). Superpowers without superheroes. Sinister cults and religious extremism. Reincarnation. An alternate future. Adorable giant spiders. Silk-weaving and fiber arts. Post-collapse societal reorganization and politics.

The Loved, The Lost, The Dreaming: A Horror Anthology includes an alternate-ending version of The Underlighters, the novella A Shot of Vodka, and a dozen or so genre-crossing short stories. All of them have spooky elements.

Similar to: Neil Gaiman’s Smoke and Mirrors, Roald Dahl’s Skin and Other Stories (this is not an endorsement of antisemite Roald Dahl; I am antifascist)

Vibes: Underground living. Spooky dolls. Abandoned houses. Queerness. Sinister fey. Nightmares. Lovecraftian eeriness. Here be monsters.

Bad Things That Happen To Girls (Book 1 of the Memory Bearers Saga; Book 2, Within the Tempest, is also one of my WIPs) Possibly my most underrated work, this New Adultish story is a standalone novella about trauma and what happens when life breaks down.

Similar to: Emily Danforth’sThe Miseducation of Cameron Post and Miriam Toews’ A Complicated Kindness

Vibes: Broken family. Abusive mother. Being queer in a small city. Religious trauma. Forbidden cross-cultural love. Teen heartbreak. Coming-of-age. Sisters.

The Hell series (Unpublished WIPs; Dark as Hell, Uncharted Hell, Hope in Hell)

Similar to: Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag, Andrej Sapkowski’s The Witcher series

Vibes: Grumpy/sunshine romance! Mature protagonists! Queer f/m romance! Thriller elements! Immortal pirate! Marxist/anti-billionaire politics—with a billionaire protag! Lovecraftian ocean horror! Historical fantasy elements! Lots and lots of boat stuff!

Prairie Weather Trilogy (Unpublished but complete, in submission; Chinook Phase, Tornado Warning, Brushfire)

Similar to: Douglas Couplands’ Jpod,Nick Sagan’s Idlewild trilogy (without the sci fi stuff), Love Actually, Heartstoppers

Vibes: Aggressively Canadian! Found family! Cozy academia! University! Set in the early 2010s! Queer romance! Ensemble cast! Aggressively queer, diverse, and inclusive! Coming-of-Age/New Adult issues! Friendship! Drama! Sex work-positivity!

The Editing: I've been a professional freelance editor since 2013, with Top-Rated status on Upwork (a freelancing website) and several hundred books under my belt. (I don't know how many things I've worked on at this point. I've lost count!) Primarily into sci fi, fantasy, horror, and literature (and associated subgenres); enthusiastic about #ownvoices and all kinds of diversity/marginalised representation in fiction.

You don’t have to go through Upwork unless you want to; DM me if you’re looking for an editor who’s knowledgeable, enthusiastic, and gentle. I’m also budget-friendly!

Age: in my 30s.

Queer?: yes. Also poly! Happily married to two people; also have a girlfriend. Not looking for more partners.

Disabled?: yes.

Languages: English mostly, but some conversational Spanish (rusty), scraps of French, tiny bits of German and Irish. All my writing is in English, though.

Location: Southern Alberta, Canada. (Texas + Kansas + Colorado = Alberta, more or less.)

Other hobbies: Knitting, making jewelry, playing Dungeons and Dragons (and other tabletop games), singing, reading (obviously), learning stuff; playing cello, clarinet, and violin

Interests: Jewelry, gems, metalworking, fiber arts, queer issues and social justice, environmentalism, drinking quite a lot of tea (usually black; I like an assam, Ceylon, or breakfast blends, though Golden Snail absolutely slaps when I’m in the mood for it, and I love Earl Grey Cream as well)

Other internet profiles: *Website * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * Amazon * Tumblr * Mastodon *Facebook * Medium * Twitter * OG Blog* Instagram * Paypal.me * Ko-fi

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prodigal-explorer · 5 months

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so as someone who is only on chapter one of omori and is obsessed with it here are my thoughts as a new member of the fandom

bear in mind that i haven’t finished the game. i only just got to that one creepy forest place? like the one after the spiders? please don’t spoil!!

but spoilers for everything before that below

1) I HATE BASIL. he’s such a stupid little punk. “uwu im so smol and helpless and i always get bullied and i’m so sweet and innocent” I JUST KNOW THAT FUCKER IS HIDING SOMETHING. everytime i end back in that stupid white room it’s because HES DOING SOME SUSSY SHIT. i also just hate him and everything about him and i know for a damn fact that he’s hiding something horrible behind that sweet little smile and he thinks he’s tricking me but he’s NOT I KNOW HIS GAME.

anyway.

2) i literally cannot decide on a favorite character. i have a least favorite, that’s pretty obvious, but when it comes to a favorite im torn. i LOVE omori, aubrey, kel, and hero all the same! i love mari too but i’m a little salty against her because all her hints for the quests are severely unhelpful 😭 but i still love her tho. i just love the main four so so much and i physically cant choose who i like better. poor little aubrey seems so scared and alone when she has the pink hair and she’s so kind in the little space world thing. hero is a sweetheart and i can’t wait to meet him in the colorful world where i’m moving or whatever. and kel is literally so me 😂 it’s not even funny he just does whatever the fuck he wants and that deserves some respect on his name. and omori is a kickass main character who has a cool thing going for him. but these four characters are sooo well crafted and i love how they work together! it’s a great dynamic balance!

3) i’m either a really bad gamer or the game is super long. i finished the prologue in like seven hours. it took SO LONG. i’m not used to indie games taking that long to play considering that i got through all of undertale in like 10-12 hours my first time. it’s awesome! i love finding all the secrets and talking to all the npcs but DAMNNN.

4) this game has so. much. detail. it’s insane. like the sheer amount of mini games and tiny pockets of lore. it’s like higher than undertale level and i don’t mean to keep going back to undertale but i see a lot of similarities in the game style. i also totally got sucked into playing like 30 rounds of blackjack on omoris computer. it was cool af.

5) the fighting mechanics are super hard. maybe i just suck at strategy but i am so bad at the fights that i just run away whenever i have the opportunity 😭 it’s a problem. i also have no clue how the happy sad angry shit works, i just make omori sad so stab has an attack boost and make aubrey angry so headbutt has an attack boost but other than that i don’t really use it at all and i don’t understand it. maybe that’s why it took me literally 10 tries to get past space ex boyfriend? it’s really fun i just think it’s supposed to be easier than it is and i just missed a memo on strategy.

6) i really love the message so far. the way that mental health is portrayed as something that’s a never ending journey. omori doesn’t just breathe and then everything’s okay, the game highlights realistic coping strategies and makes things like depression, anxiety, and phobias to understandable for any audience through a very creative medium: an indie video game. it’s genius. and i just love how it’s been approached so far, it’s very inspiring!

7) i’m terrified that this fandom is gonna make me mad, i swear to god if i just walk in and see a bunch of basil stan’s i’m turning and walking back out 💀 i mean okay maybe i’ll like basil better later but chances for that seem very low right now. my sister told me that apparently he went through some trauma thing? womp womp don’t care he’s an annoying mf who keeps taking me back to that boring white room where i stab myself, he’s a party pooper and i want a tornado to blow his dumb little flower house down.

#omori #omori game #omori sunny #omori basil #omori mari #omori hero #omori kel #omori aubrey #omori first time #omori character #omori fandom #omori basil hate

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wanderingmind867 · 18 days

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My Interpretation of the Justice League Pt. 2:

Part 2: Justice League Detroit: Now that J'onn is the new leader of the team, he moves to Detroit and sets up a private detective service there (possibly with his brother ma'alefa'ak as junior detective or something). From Detroit, J'onn goes looking for new members for his team. He finds them without too much hassle, and the Justice League Detroit is born!

The Justice League Detroit consists of six members: Martian Manhunter, Commander Steel, Gypsy (whose name probably really needs some reworking), Vibe, Vixen and J'onn's brother Ma'alefa'ak. The team is quite dysfunctional at first, since most of the team's members are young and impulsive. But with Martian Manhunter's careful guidance, the team slowly begins to come into their own.

The team is sadly still dealing with reputation issues from that civil war thing, and no amount of good press seems to be able to fix the problems inherent in the team around this time. Even though they get some big name allies or members (like Hawkman or Captain Marvel/Shazam or Green Lantern John Stewart), the team can't beat their bad reputation.

And sadly, everything comes crashing down around 2-3 years into this teams history. When J'onn's brother Ma'alefa'ak feels like he's been discriminated against by the people of earth, his already unstable mind (we can cover that in a seperate note), snaps and leads him to go on a rampage all throughout the globe. In order to stop him, the Justice League Detroit has to team up with all the members of the original Justice League (except Batman) and hunt him down.

And while this brave team of around 20 manages to subdue Ma'alefa'ak and make him see reason, the team still comes out of this looking bad. Ma'alefa'ak was technically a member of the Justice League, so some people are quick to blame the league for this conflict even occuring in the first place. Besides, Ma'alefa'ak and the league caused so much property damage across the world that they're pretty much broke by the time this adventure is over.

Part 3: Justice League…Canada? Originally conceived when the Justice League Detroit gets a mission in Canada. The mission goes well, and the Justice League gets some contacts in Canada. A year or two after this, the Justice League has the whole Ma'alefa'ak incident and their public reputation sinks even lower. Knowing that the United States has turned on them, the Justice League use their connections in Canada to keep the team running. Only one requirement: the team will have some oversight by the canadian government. Nothing too severe. But there will be some oversight and guidelines.

This new team is dysfunctional but shockingly more cohesive than any team before or after. Despite it all, this Canadian team slowly begins to recover the team's reputation after years of trauma. Who knew a team with members like Red Tornado, Blue Beetle, Booster Gold and others would be the team that leads the league back to greatness? Or well, as close to greatness as you can get after 4-5 years of awful publicity.

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toruvi · 1 year

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everyu ghoddamn night the last few weeks theres been a levi pic droped in the middle of the night when im minding my own damn business and then this beautiful thick mother fucker decides to just COME ON IN AND SAY HELLO and every time i experience a tornado of emotions including but not limited to wanting to kiss his little emotionally damaged face to fucking every ounce of depression out of him. and you might wonder, ley? how could you fuck the depression out of levi ackerman? that man has seen more trauma in his life than most anime characvters combined. well friend, i could do it. that’s how viscerally and passionately i’d fuck the depression out of his pure soul.

i’d bang him so many times that he’d forget the deaths of all his comrades. i’d suck his dick so well that he’d forget his last name again. i’d ravage this man so good that he’d quit fighting titans and let the rumbling happen just so i’d fuck him again

anyways he looks great here

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persephonesportal · 2 years

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How It All Started

Part 2 to Family Line

Next part

Taglist: @khaylin27 - @renajimaa

Summary: A glimpse into meeting the love of your life, falling into a tornado of bliss and despair

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x F!Reader

A/N: Doesn't follow the film plot, this is just a prequel

Warning: Talks of cancer, alluded/talks of trauma and PTSD (I have no knowledge of psychology and how the navy works), pregnancy, alcohol consumption, fluff

Another buzz from my phone went off, thinking I can just check it after the session.

"And I think that's okay, you feel frustrated that it happened but you also need to remember that you lived another day, one step at a time" I remind my patient, "Anyway, anything you want to cover in our next session, just write it down and we will go over it"

Letting my patient out the door with a smile on my face and walking over to my desk to check who decided now to annoy me.

UNCLE ICE: Cancel any plans you had for tomorrow night

ME: Why?

UNCLE ICE: You and I are going to an event, find a nice dress.

Rolling my eyes fondly at the obvious order from Uncle Ice, grabbing my bag and walking out my office finished for the day. I guess I have a dress to look for runs across my mind.

NEXT DAY

Finishing up the final touches to my curled updo and lipgloss, I bend over to grab both my clutch and phone. Seeing a text from Uncle Ice to say that the driver is outside causing me to walk out my front door locking it behind me.

As I'm involved with the conversation at the table with Uncle Ice, Aunt Sarah and a few of the older higher ups, looking around the room until my eyes meet a set of gorgeous green eyes a few tables over. Quirking my eyebrow at the obvious wink he sends my way before taking the finishing sip of my drink.

Slowly standing up, excusing myself to my table mates as I walk away to get another drink from the bar. Standing there for a moment before I hear a slight cough and a southern drawl behind me.

"Well aren't you just gorgeous?" Twirling my head around to meet the green eyes of the tall, blonde gentleman in dress whites.

"Does that ever work for you or do you just save it for naval events?" Escapes my lips before I get the chance to stop it.

He slightly chuckles as if what I said was mildly amusing.

"Well tell me if it does" He takes a slight breath thinking I wouldn't notice, "Jake Seresin ma'am and may I ask your name?"

Introducing myself just as the bartender approaches with my drink, thanking them turning back around making my way back to my table. Sipping my drink with every step that I take, he strides up to my left causing my eyebrow to lift at his obvious determination.

"Well may I ask, pretty lady, if I could see you some time?"

Humming to delay my response, " I guess you'll have to find out"

Finally reaching my table, kissing Uncle Ice and Aunt Sarah on their cheeks to let them know of my departure and plans to stop by in the next week.

Grabbing my things and making my way out the main doors, I can still feel his presence one step behind me. Reaching the street, I pull out my phone to order a ride before he slightly covers the screen with his hand.

Looking up at Jake confused, "May I give you a ride home?" He asks almost in a nervous way.

"I don't usually do this but just this once" I reply, kind of shocked that I would actually say that to this Adonis like stranger.

Leading me to his truck, one hand at the small of my back before proceeding to open the passenger door for me and assisting me in.The next 20 minutes in the car was not what I expected. Jake was constantly asking me questions about myself and actually listening to what I had to say, sharing small stories of his life growing up in Texas, shared music taste.

Well let's just say he ended up with my number and a date the next day.

TIME SKIP

6 months into the relationship with Jake and it's going amazing, he is the biggest sweetheart despite having a cocky persona. It seems to everyone else we rushed into this relationship especially since we decided to move in with each other a month ago, but I honestly think Jake is my soulmate no matter what anyone else says.

Its currently December and we're heading up to Texas to spend the holidays with his family. I met Jake's family at the 4 month mark and honestly it felt as if I was one of them. Jake is one of the biggest momma's boy I have met and it both warms and hurts my heart to see.

I explained to Jake my story about my dad passing away in a training accident when I was four, my mom passing away from cancer and the breakdown with my brother Bradley who ended up going to Top Gun at the same time as Jake. He just hugged me as I sobbed my heart out telling him how much I wished my parents could have met him.

His mom Debbie practically adopted me in, teaching me baking recipes and telling me childhood stories of Jake and his siblings that he obviously was too embarrassed about.

I knew I wouldn't have traded that for the world. Only I didn't know what was to come 2-3 months later.

TIME SKIP

After returning home with Jake from the holidays in Texas, I came to the realization that my period was late. Without telling Jake, I decided to go get a pregnancy test or four just to be sure.

Sitting against the bathtub waiting for the timer to go off felt more like hours than it was minutes.

"Sweetheart? Are you in there?" Comes from outside the bathroom door and before I can stand to hide the tests, Jake comes walking in.

"There you are darlin, what are you doing on the-"Cutting himself off from finishing the sentence as he spots the pregnancy tests sitting on the counter.

Taking a deep breath in, "My periods late Jake and so I thought just to rule it out"

As I stand up, the timer goes off. Jake and I both look at each other before he flips one test and I flip another.

Positive they both read

Shocked, we look at each other once again before he suddenly darts towards me picking me up and slightly spins me.

Giggling, "I take it you're excited about it?" struck by the smile that emerges on his face

"Oh sweetheart, you made me the happiest" spinning me around again in our bathroom, sharing a smiled infused kiss

Well I guess we're having a baby.

#jake seresin x reader #hangman imagine #topgun x reader #jake seresin

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the-red-butterfly · 28 days

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20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @bad-at-names-and-faces and @i-did-not-mean-to

Thanks guys!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? I have 96 works in Ao3 BUT I have 104 on Fanfiction (yes, I still post there don't judge me.) I think there are just like 3 works that I have on Ao3 that I didn't pu up on FanFiction.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 411,089 (Not too bad, not too bad)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily I write for Tolkien works, Star Wars and Batman (bat fam to be more specific). But I'm very much a, write one for each thing I love kinda gall. Honorary mentions include Sandman, Frozen, Twilight Avengers, Merlin and Teen Titans.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lonely Stars Drifting In The Black (Star Wars) (so not surprised XD)

Kudos: 2,276

The Unexpected Pop Of Things (Lucifer TV)

Kudos: 1,265

This Isn't What It Looks Like (Lucifer TV)

Kudos: 762

Death of a Star (Lucifer TV)

Kudos: 760

Alone Never More (Batman comics) (you are just an okay story, why are you here? 😭)

Kudos: 729

(I'm kinda surprised and offended that I didn't put Lucifer on the honorary mentions and it still took places 2, 3 AND 4 👁)

5. Do you respond to comments? Oh yes (though I might take a couple of months if I some slip my mind). Almost all of them. I tend to not answer back to emojis because I'm like... I don't know what to answer?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? This was kind of a hard question and it took me way too long to answer, so here, have the three runner ups.

A Crime Of Passion (Twilight: New Moon)

Ends with: Carlisle being forced to drink blood and being unable to deal with it.

At The End Of The Earth (Hellboy del Toro movies)

Ends with: John Myers being mauled by wolves and his last thoughts being of how alone he feels and of dying alone.

She's not a very good mother (Batman comics)

Ends with: Janet Drake dying as she chokes on poison and regrets she wont be able to do better by her son. She always thought she'd have more time.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Unlike the last one, this one was so easy to pick because, yeah... I'm an angsty girly for sure so the pool for REALLY happy endings was SMALL.

Drizzle Bt The Sea (Teen Titans cartoon)

It's quite short and all around just happy in vibes. Just Robin and Jericho playing by the sea under the rain.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I don't remember that I ever have? Thought I thought a couple might get hate, they didn't.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I tired it ONCE. And you know what happened? The sex was interrupted by trauma and they characters had to top to talk about the whole thing.

There is also that other one time but we're not going to talk about it.

But all in all I'm much more interested in exploring gen stories ✨

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I LOVE crossovers. I don't have many, but I am plagued mentally by them. I have 3 posted (only one on Ao3). And I'm not sure which one's craisiest. But the 2 on FF are both Rise of the Guardians crossovers, one with Avengers and the other with LES MISÉRABLES. What was younger me smoking? I would really like to know.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware 👁

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I think someone might've asked one or two times? But I honestly don't remember, if it ever happened, it was ages ago.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Oh yes! It's always so fun to me. I've done it a couple of times with @slightly-crimson-tornado and I'm currently working on one with @pushing-daisies-renaissance ✨

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Steve Trevor x Diana Prince I think. Close runner up is definitely Satine Kryze x Obi-wan Kenobi. And I'm VERY fond of Bruce Wayne x Selina Kyle.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a stupid amount of wips so I'll just go by posted ones. I have this story idea that I REALLY Like but I came up with it ages ago, and though i still like the idea I'm doubtful that I'll ever give it the time it deserves to go back to ):

Because the truth was too terrible (Avengers)

It's a story about Natasha being trapped inside her mind and Thor getting in to wake her up. I'm still pretty fond of the general gist of it. But it's OLD now.

16. What are your writing strengths? Aaaaaahhh. Trauma management? Like, they way people go about it and navigate it; how they talk about it with others? At least I THINK that's my strength. People keep complimenting those things XD

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I am too flowery with wording and I get sick of myself. It's out of control and I sometimes can't help it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I love it. If I can't get help I'll just wing a google translate, or god forbid do some research on structure. I'm BAD at it, but I love it and use it frequently.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Inazuma Eleven (anime) hehe. Love of my youth, protect me.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I love this this Twilight one-shot I wrote some years ago. It made me suffer a lot (for reasons you can find in the author's notes) but the idea has always had a tight grip on me. I really like it (and hope to got I can get the sequel out one day).

A Crime Of Passion (Twilight: New Moon)

BUT two honorable mentions. One, my Star Wars series where Obi-wan get's rescued from Death Watch by Jango Fett. And Two, my VERY self indulgent crossover between Avengers x Merlin, I love the story and I'm really super fond of what I've gotten down so far.

Celestial Bodies Of The Lonesome Variety (LSD) (Star Wars)

Of The Old Things Hidden In The World (Merlin x Avengers crossover)

Ya know, just in case you feel like it, tagging @slightly-crimson-tornado , @cilil , @dottie-wan-kenobi , @fishing4stars , @arlenianchronicles , @scary-grace

#Abril writes #TheRedButterfly #fanfiction #tag game #my writing #tagging friends

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xydamcg · 1 year

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Newest member 4

Ghost x f character

Cw: childhood trauma, character lore, weird helo pilots, the dark

Summary: Childhood trauma? Check.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3

The rest of the ride to the RV point was quiet, neither of them speaking a word to the other. The silence was getting too loud so Ty had turned on the radio a song her mother use to sing playing which soon had her changing the channel. “Is it true what they said about your father?” Ghost asked suddenly, her eyes squinted as she continued to look out the window. “What do they say Ghost?” She asked not wanting to talk about whatever he was going to bring up but she felt like something had to give for this unknown origin of hostility to drop between you two. “About him forcing you into the military, how he wanted you to prove his family name worthy, how he nearly traded you for intel.” The usual gossip of her last name fluttered around the base, she had present for 3 days and was being talked about already. Most people liked to talk to her about the great things her father did like she fought those battles with him.

“Yeah all of it is true and they still praise him like he's the greatest man to walk the earth. I know men far greater than him from past squadrons that aren't praised like him. They think i'm a ticking bomb? Well he's a walking land mind." She scoffed her eyes glued to the passing trees. "He's not the hero they say he is?" Ghost asked peeking over at her. "Far from it but that is what he wants everyone to think." She remarked, how did they get on the topic of her dad and why wasn't she protecting the family name? "He's a liar, he's manipulative and worst of all he's an abuser and murderer." She said hissed quietly her grip tightening on her arms. "He trained me for the military since i was 12 he said only reason he wasn't training me younger was because i was a girl and i'm easier to break then a boy, he told me that would be the only thing he gave me a pass for. Everyday since that day was hell until i turned 22. That's when i left his squadron and moved states away. I haven't spoke to him since, i'm afraid that he'll show up one day, take me back and show me a new meaning to the word hell." She hadn't realized her leg was bouncing away until ghost rested a heavy hand on it.

"You won't be going anywhere, Price wouldn't allow it, Gaz and johnny certainly wouldn't allow it." Ty rolled her teary eyes as she laughed a little. Gaz and Soap had taken a liking to their newest Lt which she couldn't say she minded much. She looked down at Ghost's hand that still rested on her leg, she couldn't understand him. He was giving too many different signals, did he like her enough to comfort her or did he enjoy insulting her? Maybe she was reading too much into things. "Wolves don't concern themselves with the opinions of sheep." Ghost said making her look over at him as he pulled his hand away. "Where's that from?" she asked curiously. "My father, another one of these greatest men to walk the earth you'd say." He said lightly, was he teasing? She couldn't tell because of the damned mask.

Ty didn't engage for more, her emotions were going haywire inside of her and she knew the truth behind the mystery of Simon Riley would be discovered another day. Tonight wouldn't be the day, she was growing more and more tired as the minutes ticked by. It wasn't too much longer until they reached their RV point where a helo was waiting. Ghost got out first before walking around and helping Ty out the car. Upon seeing the pair the helo's propellers began to whirl to life..they could have waited until they were inside to start it up. Helo pilots were the worst assholes ever, especially from outside your squadron. Ghost covered her head with the coat of his suit best he could to shield her from the wind, her black hair whipping around like a dark tornado.

Ducking into the helo, she quickly found a seat before ghost took place next to her. She tugged her dress down some as she noticed the wondering eyes on one of the pilots, she crossed her legs and turned her knees toward ghost not wanting to give out anymore sneak peeks unpaid. Ghost draped his suit coat over her shoulders giving her the necessary privacy she needed for the time being. She looked toward ghost and smiled slightly in thanks. A curt nod was given as they began to lift off, Ghost took one of the headsets and pulled one of the earmuffs over his ear. Ty watched as the ground got smaller and smaller until they were flying over the city toward the coast. Ty looked up at ghost noticing he seemed to be saying something to her. "What?! i can't hear you over the propellers!" She yelled cupping her mouth with her hand so he could hear her even though they were right next to each other. Ghost leaned toward her ear as she too leaned in his direction to pick up what he was saying. Ty felt her stomach flutter in a weird way feeling his nose brush against her ear. "You should get some rest, we'll be at base by sunrise!" Hearing him much better than before she nodded giving him a thumbs up.

She shifted slightly as she rested her head back against the netted wall, her eyes immediately closing but not for long as she felt ghost slip his arm under her neck so it wasn't so crooked. Ty yawned as she turned her face toward his chest so her hair wasn't smacking her so much. Being this close to ghost even after a long mission like tonight, he smelled surprisingly fresh. He smelled like home, cedar word burning and fresh mint on a cold day, his manly musk barely making an appearance.

-------------------------

Ty didn't know when she had actually fallen asleep but she was awoken by Ghost, her eyes falling on two familiar figures just off the helo wrap that had lowered. She was too tired to recognize who from where she sat. "Here already?" she asked as Ghost helped her to her feet. Nearly slipping on the ramp going down price and Soap ready to catch her clumsy form. "Welcome home Aves, i trust the mission went well." Price yelled over the slowly propellers, Ty was too tired to process anything simply taking off the earrings and dropping them into Price's hand smiling sleepily. "Got you some socks Ty." Johnny said but again Ty couldn't really hear them so she smiled again taking the socks blowing Soap a kiss. She used both men for support as she put the fresh socks on her cold footies. Ty realized ghost wasn't off the helo, as she turned she noticed him coming down the ramp flexing his hand. The propellers slowly whirled to a stop and she stepped toward ghost. "Everything alright?" she asked peeking behind him at the pilots but Soap blocked her view as they began walking. Ghost simply nodded leaving no room to investigate more.

The cafetria was just opening as the trio entered their building, Soap running for an early snack while saying they have the best stuff this early. Ty laughed at him as her and Ghost continued to the dorms. By the time they actually reached their dorms Ty was walking with her eyes Ghost having to pull her out of the way of something or catch her from falling over. That stupid little giggle would leave her lips as he set her right on her feet again. Ty slumped softly against the wall as Ghost fiddled with her jammed door. "Ghost.." she moaned sleepily her head bobbing as she struggled to keep it up, Ghost turned hearing such a noise come from her. "Let's just go to your dorm, forget the door. l'm so so tired." She whined tugging weakly on his sleeve as she staggered to his door only feet away. Ghost looked at her door before the dimly lit barracks, opening her door without scaring her out of her zombie-like slumber and triggering half the barracks would be futile. Ghost left the door and moved to his own where he slipped the key inside, Ty mumbling incoherently to the wall. As the door opened Ghost guided her inside hoping no one was witnessing this right now. They would be the talk of the base for eternity, Ghost didn't think he was ready for that one. Ty drifted toward his bed absentmindedly, plopping on the edge she sleepily pulled his suit coat from her shoulders holding it toward him. Ghost collected it and quickly traded it for a shirt of his.

Her dark sleepy eyes opened for a moment before registering what it was and standing. "Can you unzip me?" She asked waddling toward him before she turned her back showing off the zipper much too high for her sleepily hand to reach. Ghost pushed all of her hair over her shoulder before peeling down her zipper, a sigh of relief escaped her lips as she was released from sequin prison. "Thanks." she mumbled shuffling back to the bed where the dress dropped down to her ankles and she began to unclasp her bra. Dropping that next to her dress Ghost finally spoke up. "How much more you planning on taking off?" Ty snorted as she pulled his shirt on her head finally, the material stopping just above her knees. "You pay for the show Ghost not the girl." she told him as she drew the cover back before climbing inside moving to the side against the wall. As Ghost came closer she was almost thinking that he was going to actually sleep next to her but as he took one of the pillows and turned toward the couch near the door she internally deflated. Cutting out the light and finally laying her head down she stared at the dark wall. It was unsettling at how dark it was and not being able to see Ghost from she laid made her suddenly restless. "Goodnight Ghost." She called out into the dark. "Goodnight Ty." He responded almost a minute later.

#cod mw22 #ghost #simon riley #soap mw2 #captain price #series #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #141 #modern warfare #original content #fem reader #call of duty

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toxinoire · 11 months

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I've written stuff here...but those are simply ideas.

My ACTUAL Heathers AU however is a fantasy (as in, powers, magic, magic creatures, kingdoms) and they're adults in an oppressed kingdom.

This still needs some fine tuning so I'm not posting much about it yet.

But here's a glimpse.

~~~~~~~~

Powers:

Heather Chandler- Levitation and Radiation Waves (any kind of radiation waves)

Heather Duke- Illusions (as much as she wants) and Shield Type Force Field

Heather McNamara- Lightning (thunderstorm level lightning) and Super Speed

Veronica Sawyer- Ghost Like Abilities (as in, can pass through walls, be invisible, float and teleport)

Betty Finn- Super Stregnth and Magnetism (like Magneto ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

Martha Dunnstock- Healing (Self Explanatory) and Enhanced Eyesight

JD- Wind (as in, cyclone and tornado level winds) and Lazer Eyes

~~~~~~~

"Whatcha reading?" Asked Heather McNamara.

"Oh, it's a book called 'A Dramatic Tradegy" by the author Ron. It's a love story and all, but it's clearly also about corruption and systematic oppression. It addresses the very problems our kingdom has." Answered Heather Duke.

"Ooh sounds interesting." Said Heather McNamara.

"Elaborate more, would you?" Said Heather Chandler.

Heather Duke flipped through pages while keeping her index finger im between the pages she was reading. "Hold on, let me read a passage from the book...ah."

"The only reason why "heroes" and "villains" exist is because of this system...the inhumane and empathetic societal expectations everyone has planted in their minds in a harmful, toxic and traumatic way. If one were take away these parts of a societal system, keep traditions yet not force it upon anyone, it would lead to more peace. Less stone hearted people, less trauma, less reasons to want to do anything bad. Terrible people are inevitable everywhere, yet anyone allowing a terrible person to continue unpunished is worse."

"Okay damn..." Said Heather Chandler.

"That book will be banned eventually." Said a voice near them. They turn to the source. It's a woman in blue, currently throwing away a cigarette. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. I just believe it would be."

"Why is that?" Asked Heather Chandler.

"Familiar with those moments Royal Guards just ransack the houses in a town? They usually leave with these specific books." Said the woman, pointing at Heather Duke's book. "The ones written by the author Ron."

"How so?"

"Hmm..." The woman scanned the people around them, and saw what would explain it for her. "Ah. Look over there. That man is reading another book written by that author. 'Cast Out The Devils.' And over there is Travis Fermont, a member of the royal court. Watch."

Heather, Heather and Heather's eyes widened as they see Travis snatch the book from the man's hand, presumably after seeing who the author is; the author leaves their name on the cover very largely; read something from the book, yell at the man, rip the book apart, say something to the royal guards near him and then...

The man gets killed.

"In a few days, the royal guards will ransack every house and book store to find the copies of that book and burn them. It's only a matter of time before A Dramatic Tradegy meets the same fate." Said the woman, who's lighting another cigarette. "It's quite obvious that the author has it out for the king, his cronies at court and...any form of corruption and systematic oppression. It's why any book written by that author is banned, or will be banned."

"What the fuck..." Said Heather McNamara.

The woman sighed. "I know. Pretty fucked up."

"At least they won't find her books, she keeps them crazily hidden, even we don't know where it is." Said Heather Chandler.

"I'd rather NOT have people know what I've been reading."

"Relatable." Said the woman in blue with a chuckled.

Heather Duke checked her watch. "This has been quite the informative conversation, but we should go."

"Oh yeah, we still have work to do." Said Heather McNamara.

"Alright. See you guys around."

Before leaving, Heather Chandler turns back to her. "By the way, what's your name?"

The woman smiled. "Veronica. Veronica Sawyer."

#veronica sawyer #heathers the musical #heather chandler #heathers the movie #chansaw #heather duke #heather mcnamara #dukesaw #mcnamawyer #chandlamara #chanduke #mcduke #poly!heathersxveronica

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toinfinitywinning · 2 months

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How it Began? As a kid, until something bad happens all you know is innocence. Bounce back. Resilience. Words and thoughts your growing mind can’t get its synapses matured yet. And by bad, I mean it rocks you. You’re crying. You’re asking why for the first time poor thing it’s forever; you’re confused. You cannot process the magnitude of the incident and sometimes may even require Counseling to help guide you through it…NVR goes away.

And then.

I mean it’s sad, Right? Being born isn’t your introduction “hey!” realization and rationality Day, it’s your Birth Day. Period. Everyone’s glad you’re here. But you’re not going to know anything for a Long time. Everyone’s with me. Hopefully, b/c I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout no babies. And Well, most people R glad you’ve come unless you’re..ok no not that rn.

BUT

First time you are hurt and are able to process and internalize that new feeling it’s like welcome to the jungle we got fun and games! And I remember that moment for me. It wasn’t when I smacked my head and got hit with bats and sliced my fingers open trying to whittle (Dad’s fault) to make a teepee which now I’m not sure should be a thing. Also tried to make a tornado bottle like those science fair ppl had. The ones that won. B/c they actually figured out how to puncture a hole in a plastic 2 liter top without stitches and having to explain what in the Hell you were doing (Heather u said you might be here so I know you’re with the gear Shift trauma rn)

For me until now it’s never been me physically hurt or incapable that’s defeating me—defeating—adjective : defeated—also adjective but untrue. This is different and I hate it b/c of that. I was born with vampire senses at least that’s what vampire diaries says. I feel everything so intensely that often it has trickled over to affecting me physically. I suppose a Good example is a panic attack but I’ve moved onto bigger things. I’ll be one of those ppl on ppl magazine whose ღ ended hearing bad News. This could get dark so I’ll Stop at bad News.

It’s funny -I have all this time. And most of the time I don’t enjoy the time but I’ve thought a lot of that time some about when I was a kid. Just free fallin’. Before I got the anxious bug again I was fine being serendipitous and sporadic. One time I put a Friends name in my calendar even tho I knew I knew the time. That stuff. So back to the carefree kid. Like, 8+ I have to clearest memories. I want to take a sec to say how sad that is!! There is no question that I was the kid with the most bandaids. There are pictures and I Love them. Pain didn’t really bother me. Not like this. And I’ve had a lot of very serious injuries and surgeries. Why can’t I be her?

It’s all about control.

Sometimes staying in a State of any negative, sad emotion or trying time becomes comfortable so it becomes routine. Safe. This can Go downhill quickly. But I promise something from my psych minor talks about this my sister would know. Anyways you gotta get out and can’t.

I was in this State Right before I got sick but I pulled myself out of that creepy Ass Edgar Allen poem pit and swing thing b/c I didn’t like it anymore. But this is a Choice promise. And there’s not statute of limitations on how Long it takes you or if you even get to make a Choice time which is already a Mountain.

I tend to be really open and candid. I would be a horrible Celebrity. First of all they’d only have pictures of me in sweatpants. But the openness isn’t for me or really anybody unless someone does see it and be seen. I never had that. And that’s no one’s fault. We didn’t have Smart phones which ironically give us cancer and often stupidity from the crap you read due to that algorithm. A few people reached out in my DM’s and on posts to just do this I guess and throw in a Basketball time to time.

I was stuck. And I had well…a very eye opening bad experience. I don’t think I’ll ever share that publicly. But I was terrified. Something came over me when I got to my car and it wasn’t a Voice it was a direction. To home. Safety. Familiar. Routine. I knew sooner than immediately that I was done. That’s it. There’s a pattern in this pattern. You see?

So all that is taken care of and now we will work on my eating Disorder. Anorexia, restrictive ED/exercise bulimia and body dysmorphia. You get it. Add this in with Addiction. Talk about stuck. All I can think of to compare it to is that scary book w/ a wizard and a whirlpool and IDEK how it ends but that was always enough for me to be done w/ that story. So, You’re bound to have one after losing 150 lbs over two and a half years and now can see your bones and muscles. Hey you’re confident again Good for you. This will not sustain. You lost weight probably all the wrong ways anyway but it worked. And you’re still in control. Things have changed and u know what to do to keep your skeleton up. One gust of wind or fainting and head stitches again having to hurry and tell your Apple Watch not to call the rescue’s and you’re an inch closer to hospitalization. Doin’ fine.

All I had Left was my eating Disorder to work on and I’d made so much progress. I’ll expand on this but you actually have to eat when you’re sick. I won’t thank COVID-19 for that tho. Sometimes u can follow all the rules and still get *BEEP, explicative!* sooner or later it would have risen. So that infamous Day I’d just finished my hour walk and like had been doing about to eat w/ my Parents. I remember it like it wasn’t a 26 month old toddler Day away. One sniff. Mom -please get COVID tested. I remember being annoyed. B/c I have taken all the precautions. Well so do a lot of people and things still happen OUT of our control. This became the problem. Two saddest things about that next few days is I made my Dad say Shit when I came up positive then gave it to my Mom. I cannot tell you the guilt I would be carrying had this been the other Way around.

I had lived my Addiction free Life and started to heal my ED rest of my Life. For 3 weeks. I felt so light. Felt so free. Brave and proud. More authentic. B/c being stuck and not being able to fix things yourself takes a lot of deleted Pride and bad bad bad experiences apparently. Wakey wakey. Why’s it gotta be that Way? At least it’s the Gentry way. I’d rather not keep that up.

Crushed. Pre healing I couldn’t Exercise for 2-4 hours daily. Wake up at 5 am still kinda dazed and do 100 push-up’s then 10lb weights, several sets. Not one thing from a video or trainer but i can see everything chiseled so gotta be doing something right. Then walk a mile and a half or 10000 steps before you even answer a call at work. All this to have your evening free. To see your ribs and sometimes ✔ the camera Cloud to make sure that 10 pound added weight doesn’t happen. Showering at lunch break. Oh it was a machine. And ppl knew. I’m very aware. I lean toward empathy as well.

I was very very sick. Different sick. And TBH as much of Hell this is and might forever be I’d rather this. Even a broken ღ that was your stupidity and blinders anyway. Although I cannot control this it’s not an intensity of emotion in those skinny Ass bones I can’t turn off anymore. Need size zero and xs. Ghastly. I can answer a question of would you rather in this Case. My ღ literally aches. It’s all of the omnipresent and then some. So intense and relentless. I could change my mind tomorrow. Right now.

This Pain is Physical. Not my fault. Wasn’t abused. Can’t control this either and I’d never wish it on all but one person but idk. I feel things that intensely. I’d be the X-Ray Report that says torn or damaged in about nine places after my ACL tear. The Report was an entire page LOL. That is not common I don’t think. Should’ve just said everything is bad take your 2nd of now Four ambulance trips with your Dad to the ER.

Let me be clear. This is very hard to put into words. It’s less I guess that I wouldn’t barter but sometimes you’re just like please give me that Pain instead, just for a while.

Right now I am comfortable in Pain. Isn’t that pathetic yet tragic? I meannn. Whole body Pain. It’s emotional too trust me but this it takes first. Imagine…the control freak. This is not acute. Feeling without Pain even temporarily is kinda scary and better word unsettling. You want to get better of course but your body has done such a 180 that it becomes what you’re worried about and what makes you nervous. It’s an evil Domino set mouse wheel. Let me also add that long-haul Covid and dysautonomia and pots all of them happened because my body had gotten so healthy again it went in overdrive to try to help me and then couldn’t stop. How nice. Kindly. I’ve learned things about my body and about what people can experience and I didn’t want to. I will never again scoff at someone for saying that they are debilitated because, they are in constant pain or too “tired”... They can’t be safely aware. I’m ashamed I ever thought that about people because there is no take a Tylenol and lay down. There is no taking a nap and you’ll wake up refreshed. That’s all bullshit at this point, and it hurts if you have to ever explain it because you can’t, like so many other things until it happens to you you don’t really know how you feel like a lot of things you can swear that you’ll react one way or the other but when something happens to your kid or someone you love (dare i say abortion as a topic) all the sudden it’s personal and you’re thinking something you never thought you would. Or not. The struggle is actually real.

There is a lot of trauma or some type of PTSD with being this sick for this long as well because you sit comfortably, you know exactly what’s going to happen. If then, then that some of which are terrifying I shake I can’t believe anyone has to deal with this and yet I’m not even one of the most serious cases if you can believe that. Then there’s the Gaslighting. Go to stone ridge and admit yourself for anxiety. NAH. Thankfully all of my docs have been first class with no doors blown off.

I want to say I’ve learned a lesson.. karma. I deserve this. I should’ve seen it coming. Let me be clear again. No one deserves this and yet we’re human and stuff still happens to good and bad people. losing control has been difficult, but I feel like I’ve learned so much about, literal heartache and pain that only someone who was going through the same thing can identify with. there aren’t words. I’m not trying to paint a picture of someone who is on oxygen and dying or taking chemo, but I think that you can hold sadness in several different ways without feeling guilty. you can own What you’re going through. it’s OK to be angry at God at anything and I’ve had to realize that and it’s taken a long time and I think I still am working on it because I think I’m over here. not famished. not taken hostage. not bombed. I have a bed to lay in when I feel bad. U can’t compare things like this and you shouldn’t anyway. I think in doing that it’s never productive anyway. I don’t like being helped which is ironic because I have some co dependencies still and yearning to stay close to what is familiar and home and safe I’ve had to put my or whatever aside and my confidence out the window because yes, you will gain weight not exercising that much but you literally can’t do things at first. I was using a cane to get to the bathroom. I would pant no exaggeration like a dog for at least an hour sometimes after walking 10 feet, ask my mom she was on the couch across from me and we’re both thinking what just happened. or you have to use spoons because you’re shaking so much. Don’t even try a fork w/ rice. or you’re so confused that you always have to have what I would say and interpreter at this point, and praise God that there r doctors surrounding me. I have needed so much help and I think part of accepting help is also allowing someone else to practice stewardship and I think somewhere possibly the Bible at some point you can’t continue to deny someone’s help because they have to have the experience of helping and we both know each feeling. Frankly need it sometimes there are things that not even Gentry will speak of that I’ve gone through but somehow I’m thinking wow Pooh bear was correct. I really am stronger than I seem and I thought that the last time I was in a bad place life is nuts except help, if you don’t have the hope or faith let your family hold it for you. It’s still there. You just can’t get it yet and I cringe to say it, but I have learned so much and whether I heal completely or not writing all this again is therapeutic one, but two when people can identify with someone else, it is a very intimate experience the kind of intensity I feel with everything. I tell people I don’t want to hear ‘you’re going to get better’ because you don’t know that. we can pray for it, but I’ve given prayer a hard time as I’m able to complain, not going to church routinely. Then again going to church is just the building. Sadly tru 4 2 many. a reflection of your yearning for community and a place of hope and routine. we know from the current state in this world that going in a church and coming back out there’s nothing Christian about it, but I’m thankful that I have been held. I’ve even asked. Dad has even had to hang onto me. I’ve been in a wheelchair. I’ve had a bed pan. things that would normally humiliate you. You get humbled immediately. You may have your arms and legs, but there will be times you will need to be pried off the floor, there will be times that your head stays on a cold marble kitchen counter for hours because you don’t have the strength to walk 20 steps to your bed. Covid sucks. it has ruined lives, marriages, people have gone bankrupt. People have died. Mistreated. People have had experiences much worse than mine, and they didn’t deserve it either even if they didn’t take precaution like I did which is part of why I was so frustrated with getting sick. and again i was at that point I had gotten healthy. So ofc, the more prone your body go into hyperdrive. Trying to heal you. and that’s still where I’m at.

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drewstarkeylover21 · 2 years

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Billet Doux (Steve Harrington)

Summary: bil·let-doux/ˌbilāˈdo͞o/ : The French term for a love letter. A love letter written just for Steve. A/N: Steve Harrington is literally the daddiest of all daddies. I love him so much I feel like my heart could explode. I also love all of YOU guys so much that my heart could explode.

Warnings: swearing, talks of mental struggles from reader, fluff, and immense proclamation of love for baby hunny Steve.

Steve Harrington,

My perfect dream boy. Happy 21st birthday.

I can’t even begin to fathom how grateful I am for you. I’ve rewritten this letter 4 times already, and I keep running into the same issue. It seems as though there aren’t enough words in the English language to properly explain how much I admire you. I’m no writer, but thank God for the ability to read other people’s writings, because I’m about to poach Fitzgerald’s big fat symbol of love.

You are the green light at the end of my dock - the unwavering embodiment of endless love and hope. You keep me sane, you keep me calm. But most of all, you keep me living.

These last couple of weeks, I’ve been driving Dustin up to Weathertop so he can radio Suzie through the Cerebro without having to use the home phone. Yesterday, he went on and on to her about how your birthday is coming up and that he isn’t quite sure what to get somebody who has given so much of their own life to others. How Steve Harrington is this bad-ass monster hunter that keeps everybody safe. That you’d dive headfirst into any sign of danger and throw the first punch and take the last hit just to shield us from harm. He doesn’t know how to properly gift you something that will probably seem so insignificant in comparison to all that chances you’ve given the rest of us. The chances of taking another breath, of seeing the sun rise again the next day. They were pretty wise words for a 15 year old dingus who still relies on us to drive him around.

On the drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about how right Dustin was. How do you get somebody as special as you a birthday present? A new Journey record and a signed copy of Bruce Springsteen’s newest CD doesn’t really seem like it could do the notion justice (I hope you love them by the way, Robin and I have been saving up all of our Family Video paychecks for the last 4 months) so I decided to write this letter to you in the hopes that it reminds you just how loved you are. How special and amazing and one of a kind the name Steve Harrington is.

You are our greatest protector. My greatest protector. Forget all of the Demogorgons, the MindFlayers, the unhinged and manic Billy Hargroves of the world. The monsters that I’ve faced throughout this Hawkins madness don’t just come in the form of swirly dust particles or crazy boys with untamed mullets. Instead, they’ve also come in intangible forms. In waves of grief over losing people near and dear to us. Through insecurities about who I am as a person. In past traumas that I’ve been so desperate to break free from. Feelings of not being good enough, of not feeling like I’m worth loving, that I’m not as important as the rest of our group says I am.

And I know you’ve seen what these monsters do to me when the feelings become unbearable. How I get stuck in my own brain, lost in a destructive tornado of frustration and pain, left to drown endlessly in my own sea of thoughts.

Only, I don’t drown. I swim. Because of you.

There is always a hand to pull me out of the deep dark ocean I’ve created for myself. It is firm, it is unwavering. But most importantly, it belongs to you, Steve Harrington.

You make the world so much brighter by just existing, by just being yourself. You are my strength, my comfort, and my sound. You’re a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. A strong shoulder to lean on when I can barely stand. You remind me day after day that I am worth every single ounce of love that you give me.

Getting to love you seems like it would be the biggest privilege in the world, but it’s not. Honestly, it’d take a stupid, blind fucker not to love you. Instead, I think the biggest privilege in the world lies in being loved by you. Do you know what it feels like to be loved by you? I can’t quite describe it because, again, I’m not very good with words, but if I had to sum it up in a simple sentence, it would be this.

Being loved by you feels like a good night’s sleep.

A good night’s sleep is warm and comfortable. It is peaceful, serene, and gentle. It is something to yearn for at the end of every night, and leaves you feeling brand new when you wake up. A good night’s sleep makes you feel refreshed and ready to take on a new day in the morning. It is always needed. It encases you and blocks out the rest of the world.

You are a good night’s sleep Steve. You are warm and comfortable, peaceful, serene, and gentle. I yearn for you every waking moment of the day, from the minute I close my eyes to the second they open. You make me feel refreshed and new. I need you and will always need you. There’s nothing else that matters in the world except for when we are together.

Thank you for choosing me to love. For choosing my ear to whisper sweet nothings into when we’re dancing around the kitchen at 1 in the morning. For choosing my forehead to plant sweet kisses onto - kisses that hold unspoken promises of love and life and happiness. For choosing my hand to hold, not only when times are scary, but when they are calm. For it is your hand that reminds me that I am safe. That I am home.

Those boring American moms always have those stupid inspirational quotes hanging around their kitchens and living rooms talking about how home is where the heart is. When I was a teenager, I used to find these laughable. But after envisioning a lifetime with you, those freaking decorative placards couldn’t be more true.

Home is where the heart is. And my heart is with you, Steve Harrington.

Thank you for being my home.

Thank you for this life.

I am so blessed to love you and to be loved by you. You bring such light into everybody’s lives. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Happy Birthday my beautiful boy. I love you.

Yours always,

Y/n

Taglist: @notdisneychannel

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington love #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fic recs #steve harrington stranger things #stranger things #st4 #st4 volume 2 #stranger things netflix #stranger things imagine #eddie stranger things #dustin henderson #dustin henderson stranger things #love letter

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bilbobagginsomebabez · 10 months

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the blame game

content warning for extreme multigenerational child abuse, trauma, and addiction.

the way i grew up wasn’t good. it was packed chock full of generational traumas and illnesses, all revolving around each other in this constant, hellish tornado. like cold air and hot air spinning each other faster and faster, the fronts of poverty, addiction, mental instability, and trauma moved through our family over and over and over. and it hurt us. they hurt us. our parents hurt us and our aunts and uncles hurt us and their kids and my grandmothers hurt them and they hurt each other. over and over and over. but you love them still. you love all of them. and you don’t know who to hold responsible for any of it or how to.

to give you an idea of what I’m talking about, i’m gonna talk about my dad. he and I were really close while I was growing up. he taught me to lay brick and weld and paint and place sheetrock. sometimes, we would listen to the radio and he would tell me the band, the name of the album, the name of the song, the year it came out, and what was going on in his life when it came out. he would ask me what I was reading and to explain everything I was thinking about it and saw in the book and he would tell me that I was smart and beautiful and nothing would ever be able to hold me back and he couldn’t understand how something so incredible came from him. other times, it wasn’t so good. I was an obsessive reader when I was a kid and in the summers when we were working, I was expected to keep to a specific sleep schedule. the rule was there for good reason. we had to wake up at 4 or 5 every morning to beat the heat, and if you didn’t get enough sleep, the work got dangerous. you could vomit or pass out or worse from heat stroke. well, i was 14 and caught in a book and stayed up the whole night finishing it. dad found me at 4am when his alarm went off, maybe 30 pages to go to the end. he took the book, dragged me on site, and made me work until I was crying and feeling faint and vomited. when I went to go sit in the car, I wasn’t allowed to read or sleep. if I fell asleep, he’d walk up and pound on the door frame to jerk me back awake. he was furious with me, and it was brutal. he was brutal sometimes. the thing was, I always knew why. my dad’s uncle shot him up with heroine for the first time when he was 11 years old. his childhood babysitter was a pedophile who abused him and his brothers. his sister was regularly assaulted by new stepfathers moving through the house. years after the babysitter’s abuse, my developmentally disabled uncle began regularly abusing my cousin who was only 6 years old at the time. my uncle didn’t know it was wrong and my cousin didn’t have the verbal skills to tell anyone for almost a year. my dad still blames himself for not catching on sooner. when my older sister told him that she was abused by a babysitter, he refused to believe her because he couldn’t stand the thought that he’d failed. dad ran away from home for the first time when he was 12, made money then by running parking lots and by selling LSD and bareknuckle boxing when he was older. he spent 4 terms in juvie and learned exactly how to answer psych evaluations and behave for early release on good behavior. he’d run away again as soon as he was placed in a new foster home. he wouldn’t speak about the few times he stayed in a foster home longer than a few weeks. when he was 21, he met my mother. There were a few different diagnoses offered by different doctors, but what matters is her symptoms got way worse when I was around 5. example: when she stabbed my dad a few years ago in a fight over a broken tail light, my grandmother called and told me that she just “poked him with a knife” and everyone is fine. she’s shot at him more than once (totaled a truck once) and he’s run her over with a car.

the entire family is like this. filled to the brim with pain and abuse and trauma that winds its way around to bite over and over. one of my uncles on my mother’s side accidentally murdered his best friend while drunk driving. my grandma once threw a spoon so hard at his head that it knocked him out cold. two of my uncles died by overdose. another uncle holds the all-time county record for evading the most federal marshals for the longest time. my grandfather threw my mom out of a second story window when she was 16 because he was drunk and one of his bootcamp trainees asked her out on a date. his father beat him so badly that he ran away from home and enlisted in the military at 17. mom threw me out the window of a moving car when i was 4. my mom would also take us and all of our cousins out for the best halloweens out of everyone we knew, literally we would take 2 pillow cases each out with us and fill most of them.

who do you blame? who do you hold responsible and how do you hold them responsible? what do you do when all everyone knows is pain and violence? my dad never did anything more physically extreme than bruise us, and that was very actively a vast improvement over his experience of childhood. he actually did try and he actually did protect us from so much harm. when my mom got a cattle prod and used it on us, my dad stole it from her and destroyed it with a sledgehammer. when my mom went after my sister with a knife, he took all of us and fled the state for two weeks. he also went back to her and would repeatedly clean out my bank account to disappear on a bender for as long as the money lasted. my mom couldn’t tell what was real for years. every bit of it is mangled by unbelievable cruelty, cruelty and pain that lasted for generations. there’s no one left to blame, only victims and victims and victims.

mine is an extreme example, but i see people playing this blame game online a lot lately. trying to figure out how to hold people accountable when they’re lashing out from pain, trying to negotiate oppression points and determine how culpable a group of people is for various -isms, trying to find the line between empathy for their pain and excuses for the pain they’ve caused. all of these things are what start to happen when true justice isn’t an option, and I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t work like that. none of this works like that. there is no objective answer. there’s no magic trick or grading scale. there’s no one keeping track of every trauma they’ve suffered and giving them 1 harm freebie for each. You won’t ever be able to say they’re fully evil or fully trustworthy. They’re damaged, and sometimes those who lived too long with monsters become monsters themselves. You have to decide how you can move forward and what you can live with. And you have to figure out how to stop yourself from passing the pain forward if or when justice never comes. I left. Sometimes that’s all you can do. I forgave my dad years ago. I love him and I miss him, but I still don’t talk to him.

What I can say is that our lives and the cycles we live in create us even as we create them. When I left and got therapy, I paved the way for my little sister to do the same. She felt so much better that she encouraged my mom to go. Now, my mom’s been in therapy for almost a year.

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nottapossum · 10 months

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Itty Bitty Imps: Playlist 1: Youtube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0r3AC0dAbNft5pYMg8xKNaBux6QzQJMV (This took so much longer than I thought it would lol)

1: Two Birds -Regina Spektor 2: Little Space - SXYE 3: Are You Satisfied? -Marina 4: I'm Still Here - John Rzeznik 5: You Found Me -Kelly Clarkson 6: A Million Dreams - Ziv Zaifman 7: No time for toxic people - Imagine Dragons 8: Love me Anyway - P!nk 9: Devil Doesn't Bargain -Alec Benjamin 10: Sick of the Silence -Mother Mother 11: Because of you -Kelly Clarkson 12 Black Roses Red - Alana Grace 13: Never Enough - Loren Allred 14: In the name of Love - Martin Garrix 15: Demons - Alec Benjamin 16 My Own Hero - Andy Grammer 17 Problems - Mother Mother 18: Rewrite the stars -Zac Efron Zendaya 19: Thorns -Rachel Rose Mitchell 20: THE CONTRTINIST - Melanie Martinez 21: Trauma - NF 22: Seventeen - Marina and the Diamonds 23: Show & Tell - Melanie Martinez 24: Lantern in the night -Rachel Rose Mitchell 25: You'll be in my Heart - Celtic Woman 26: Scared of love - Megan Faria 27: Carousel - Melanie Martinez 28: I don't love you - My Chemical Romance 29: Peace Of Mind -Imagine Dragons 30: My way Home is through You - My Chemical Romance 31: Sirens- Imagine Dragons 32: Trust - Christina Perri 33: Dull Knives -Imagine Dragons 34: The Tornado -Owl city 35: You broke me first - Tate McRae 36: You're not sorry -Taylor swift 37: Evil - Melanie Martinez 38: Lost again - Rachel Rose Mitchell 39: Shots -Imagine Dragons 40: Wrecking Ball -Mother Mother 41: If I'm being honest - Anna Clendening 42: Carnival - Rachel Rose Mitchell 43: Overwhelmed- Ryan Mack (Originally by Royal and the Serpant) 44: Pink elephants on parade- Dumbo 45: Fireflies - Owl city 46: Little do you know -Alex & Sierra 47:Gasoline -Halsey 48: Breathin' -Thomas sanders (originally by Ariana Grande) 49: Someone to you - BANNERS 50: Brother - Kodaline 51: Continual -Imagine dragons 52: If we have each other - Alec Benjamin 53: What did we know - Rachel Rose Mitchell 54: Baby Mine - Dumbo 55: Brother - Gerard Way 56: Tomorrow will be kinder - The secret sisters 57: Dynasty - MIIA 58: Moral of the story - Ashe 59: Tightrope - Mitchelle Williams 60:Just look my way (Stolas' lament) PARANOiD DJ

-Any other songs you think would fit this fic? Lmk

Taglist: @todayimfour

#Spotify #itty bitty imps #ittybittyimpsq&h #sfw interaction only #Heluva boss age regression #Helluva boss agere #little!fizzarolli #little!blitzo #cg!stolas #cg!Ozzie

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wanderingmind867 · 17 days

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My Interpretation of the Justice League Pt. 2:

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