#my hand fucking slip. i meant to send you this through dms but its just way too long!

[sashimiyas]

for you @osaurimiya <3

Osamu hasn’t talked to you since he’d driven you to your dinner date with Manabe. He didn’t say anything when Manabe had offered you a ride home, only flicked his head with casual disinterest that you felt purposeful. Like it was meant to piss you off.

You know he’s home because you saw the light of his room switch off when Manabe had dropped you to your door and shook your father’s hand. And after completing your skincare routine and sitting in bed for half an hour, Osamu still hasn’t arrived.

Can I have my water? you text him.

It’s the lamest excuse you can think of to see him, but clearly Osamu will not come on his own volition. He usually always drops off a glass of water for you before bedtime. For your pills and for if you ever get thirsty in the morning. It’s become a ritual and Osamu still hasn’t come.

A door bursts open from beneath you. No care taken despite all the other occupants in the house probably in bed. There’s a curse when he stumbles up a stair and when he knocks on your door, you have to open it yourself even when you tell him to come in.

He shoves the glass into your hands.

“Here.”

He can’t even look at you and you find out why because in the glass is nothing but air. Not a single drop, completely dry and devoid of any liquid to cure your faux parchedness.

“Where’s the rest of it?” You can’t help but ask.

And Osamu grumbles at you. He actually grumbles at you as if you are the most irritating thing in the world. Finally, as if to hit you full force with his ire, he glares in your direction.

“Get it yaself.”

You’ve had it. You don’t know what you’ve done wrong and it’s just been a whole lead up into this. He kisses you. He avoids you. He’s at your beck and call. He’s always at your side. He’s constantly distant. He’s somehow unjustly angry at you and you cannot help but throw it back at him.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

You scoff, “sure, nothing. You always bring me my water and say good night. Why didn’t you do it this time? Why are you acting like it’s the most egregious request all of a sudden?”

“Get ya rich boy to do it for ya.”

Now that, that seems like a personal attack. You hate this about yourself and you can already feel the tears stinging behind your eyes at the rage he’s slowly provoking.

“What does Manabe have to do with this?”

“He wants to take ya out. He wants to drive ya home. He can get ya damn water too.”

“That isn’t fair, Osamu.” It feels like every word he says is meant to drive a stake into your heart. It’s like he’s creating a picket fence to block himself from ever coming back to it. Like he wants you to hate him. Like he wants to hate you. “My dad set up those dates and he has been very kind to me. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

Osamu’s anger flares. You have to take a step back from his fury, holding your hands out as if you can suffocate it so that no one else in the house may hear. “Nothing wrong?! Sure, like how he ordered the both of ya champagne when ya can’t stand the bubbles. Or how he opened the door for ya but didn’t wait until ya were fully in and clipped ya elbow. Or how he went to fix ya sandals but fucked up the latch and that’s why ya got a big ass blister on ya foot!”

He points down and you can only curl a leg up behind the other to hide the evidence, suddenly embarrassed. But Osamu has no right to be angry. Manabe was just trying to be respectful. He was trying to gain your good graces and though his attempts can never compare to Osamu’s, at least that man is actually after your heart.

“Fine then. Maybe I will call him over tonight if you’re going to be like this.”

The statement shocks your bodyguard as if he hasn’t been the one pushing you to make this decision. He locks his jaw, with an edged glare you’ve never been on the receiving end before.

“Ya wouldn’t.”

“You just told me I should. At least he’ll treat me better than you are right now.”

Osamu’s gaze darkens. “Oh.” And he laughs, a menacing kind that stirs something in your stomach. “Ya think so, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Ya think he can really treat ya better, huh?” He takes a step forward. Osamu doesn’t scare you so there’s no need to take a step back. You lift your chin to him in defiance. Osamu only smiles, as if this is exactly what he’s wanted. He glides an index finger beginning at the dip of your throat, up the column of it, and to the very tip of your chin. He towers over you, surrounds you with the breadth of his body, and you’re finally able to breathe him in. If he places stakes around your heart, well fuck, you’ve already made yourself home.

“I do.” You lie. “What are you going to do about it?”

“Get in ya room.”

He holds your chin, kisses you whole. Your empty glass falls to the carpet and your door closes.

#reina.writeshaikyuu!! #bodyguard! osamu #my hand fucking slip. i meant to send you this through dms but its just way too long!

[mostly-marvel-musings]

How about a smut prompt no. 7 with Tony Stark ? ❤❤❤❤

Love to lose

A/N: Thanks for requesting this lovely! Hope you like it :))

Gif’s not mine! Credits to the owner

Prompts used: Oral sex & “First one to make a noise loses.”

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Warnings: 18+ smut, it’s dirty okay...

Word count: 2k

Requests & Challenges

Tony Stark Taglist: @raspberrymama @boop-le-snoot @ladyeliot @make-a-memory-drink-it-up @loveisallyouneed1125 @ownsmyheart @anthonyjanthony666 @downeyreads @the-secret-thief @getlostsquidward @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @elemephstudies @mycosmicparadise @feetoffthetablee

Everything Taglist: @godofplumsandthunder @ladyacrasia @agustdowney @swaggysposts @suchababie @another-stark-sub @littlegasps @kahlanmars @supraveng @disappointmentofthefam @pandaxnienke @tom-hlover @just-the-hiddles @asmigurub @avantgardium-leviosa @imerdwarf @gladiosamicitias @fanofalltheficsx @ladyburberry

Taglists open! Send me an ask or DM if you wish to be in any of these ;))

.

“First one to make a noise loses? Seriously?”

“Yeah!”

“No!”

“I honestly thought you’d be more adventurous Tony.”

“Honey you’ll get all the adventure you want once I’m done with this project. You remember the night of four times, don’t you?”

Tony raised an eyebrow and smirked as your eyes lit up with thoughts of the night he mentioned, cheeks growing warm as your mind flooded with memories of the aforementioned night.

That night you’d lost all sense of cognition and your legs were pure jelly from being utterly fucked out.

It was never a dull moment when it came to you and Stark in the bedroom. He knew all the right ways to drive you crazy and you had come to learn to push all the right buttons to drive him insane.

“Tony come on! I know you’re up for it.”

You pointed to the half-mast erection currently staring back at you.

He glanced down at it before shaking his head and returning to the screen, soon getting engrossed in the information displayed in front of him. Eyebrows knitting together in concentration while his fingers flew over the surface, probably in search of something you didn’t care about.

You scowled for a little while, arms crossed over your chest before walking towards him with a look of determination that hid unattended lust.

Tony didn’t mind you stepping in between his legs as he leaned against the table behind, until you ghosted your fingers over the button of his denims.

Once you popped it open and undid his fly, he shot you a warning look before his phone rang, giving you time to push the jeans and his boxers down just enough to let his erection bounce free.

“You’re free to do whatever you want only if you’re prepared for the consequences sweetheart.” He warned before answering Phil Coulson’s call.

Desire bloomed deep in your belly as his words sent tingles down your spine, knowing the punishment would either be really good or really bad, depending on Tony’s mood. But you were willing to take the risk, it was always worth it in the end.

Shrugging, you dropped down to your knees, his semi-erect cock waiting for your ministrations as you eyed it before gazing up at Tony through your eyelashes innocently.

He was deep in conversation on the phone but the tight grip of his free hand on the edge of the counter and tapping of fingers against the surface indicated he was waiting for you to make your move.

Tony exhaled a breath he was unconsciously holding as your hand wrapped around his length. Taking your time with it, your hand lazily stroked his cock, thumb brushing over the tip every now and then.

“Please I understand Agent, don’t bore me with those unnecessary details..oh!”

Glancing down, he suppressed the rest of his reaction as your tongue joined the party. Small kitten licks over the tip before you drew a strip all the way to the base, all the while watching his demeanour change from composed to flustered.

You took him in your mouth and began swirling your tongue around his length, smirking when he faltered and brought his hand down to move your hair out of your face.

“I’m going over the details n-now. Oh yes—yes I’ll call Fury once I’m—I’m almost done here.”

Tony didn’t wait for Coulson to answer before he cut the call and practically threw the phone away. Letting out a groan, he jerked his hips forward, pushing himself deeper in your mouth as he grabbed you by your hair roughly, guiding your mouth over his cock.

“You’re in so much trouble baby...”

You simply hummed in response, continuing to finish him off as you increased your speed, feeling him twitch against your lips already. The little grunts Tony uttered spurred you on to bring him closer and closer to climax. Your own arousal had turned your panties moist as you watched his lust-blown eyes shut and bite his lip.

“Ah shit! You want me to cum in your mouth?”

You nodded eagerly as Tony’s hips jolted forward and he cursed out loud before shooting spurts of cum down your throat, face contorted in pleasure as he emptied himself, the warm salty liquid travelling down your throat.

He grabbed you by the back of your neck, making you stand before crashing his lips to yours, tasting himself as you deepened the kiss. You moved your clothed core over his softened cock to get some friction, gaining another groan from Tony who felt how moist you were.

“So wet my dirty girl. Will you give me an hour? I promise I’ll make it worth it.” Tony whispered softly, grabbed your hips to stop your grinding. Reluctant to let you go but the urgency with which Phil had called left him with no other choice than to make you wait.

“Fine. But if you’re late…”

“Trust me babe. I’ll be there sooner than you think.”

“Whatever.” He pecked your pouted lips one last time as you pulled his pants back up, turning to walk upstairs to your shared bedroom.

“Don’t touch yourself.”

“You’re in no position to make demands Stark.”

“Am I not?” Even with your back to him, you could sense he was giving you ‘the look’. The one that screamed ‘no matter what, I’m always in charge’. The man was really going to be the death of you some day.

“Ugh. Fine. Hurry up.”

.

“Okay so we need to establish some ground rules first.”

Your eyes snapped up from the book you were pretending to read as Tony swung the bedroom door and got in, locking it before sliding in next to you, resting his back against the headboard.

You were celebrating your victory on the inside because just minutes ago he’d made fun of you for coming up with this game, only to now come up with modifications for the same.

Like a good girl you had behaved, controlled the urge to bring yourself to an orgasm after that little session downstairs. You were still wet, which meant he already had more chances of winning at your game.

This was a bad idea. Why hadn’t you thought this through?

“Hon?”

“Huh?”

“The rules?”

Mentally shaking yourself for zoning out, you sat up straight and faced him.

“Alright. Whines are allowed. Moans aren’t.”

“Fair enough.”

“No oral sex.”

“Not acceptable. You know I owe you for that amazing blow-job. Come on now..”

“Fine. But no fingering.”

Tony made a non-committal huff but agreed, knowing how much his fingers spurred you on.

You went back and forth discussing, rejecting and accepting the terms and conditions as if it were a legit deal.

Soon after you shook on it, there was a switch in the air and neither of you felt the need to say much else except get on with the game.

Climbing in Tony’s lap, you cupped the sides of his face and pressed your lips to his. Softly grazing against each other at first while you fingers teased the base of his neck.

He carded his hands through your hair before pulling you against his chest, hands now splayed across your back as he slanted his mouth over yours and deepened the kiss.

Maneuvering a little so his legs straightened out on the bed, Tony heard a tiny sigh escape your lips as your aroused core met with his growing bulge. Keeping those noises that threatened to leave your mouth turned out to be harder than you had both imagined. You two were quite vocal when it came to sex.

It was difficult, but all the more exciting.

After a while, the make-out session turned out to be insufficient and Tony had you on your back, your clothes removed and thrown carelessly somewhere behind as he settled between your legs.

You had to bite back a moan as Tony’s lips travelled down your neck, littering tiny kisses all over the skin before he found that junction where your neck met your shoulder, the pulse point which he so generously marked a spot on, sure to leave a purple bruise in its place. On cue, your head moved aside to grant him more access as your breaths turned to pants, finding it hard not to think about his bulge that was rubbing so deliciously against your heated core in slow but deliberate thrusts.

You had to push him away to make sure you didn’t lose so soon, that sure earned a chuckle from the genius. Moving further south, he latched onto one of your nipples and flicked his tongue along the bud all the while massaging and kneading the other in his hand. A sigh had involuntarily slipped out, it wasn’t breaking any rules but it sure made Tony gaze up with lust-blown eyes as a smirk appeared on that handsome face.

Trailing kisses along your navel, he reached between your legs and stopped. You shot him a warning look as you sat up on your elbows when his fingers teased along your wet folds, causing him to throw his hands up in surrender before diving in face first into your pussy.

Closing a hand over your mouth, you let your head fall back onto the pillows as Tony licked a fat strip along your wetness, his nose brushing against your bundle of nerves. It didn’t take long for you to feel your heartbeat on your throbbing clit, Tony leaving no stone unturned to make sure you were a needy mess below him.

“What was that baby girl?” He purred, facial hair glazed with your juices when he emerged, giving you a shit-eating grin after you shook your head.

You were so close.

Flipping you on your stomach, you heard him unbutton his jeans and drop them in a low thud on the ground. His hands pulled your ass up in the air, urging the cheeks apart before his cock met your entrance, gathering your wetness, your pussy aching for release at this point.

“Tony..”

“Giving up already?”

Instead of answering, you reached behind, grabbed his cock in your hand and lined him up at your entrance before pushing your hips back. Both of you swallowed your groans as he bottomed out, stretching your walls to the fullest before pulling all the way out and thrusting in.

Your knuckles turned white from gripping the sheets as you were almost ready to give up and accept defeat, until you felt his cock twitch inside you, a sign Tony wasn’t too far along from doing the same either.

Your walls clenched around his cock deliberately, hugging it in their wet warmth and eliciting an involuntary groan from the man.

“What was that honey?”

You teased, repeating the action only to have Tony pull out suddenly, turn you around once more and pull your legs over his shoulder before entering you again.

“You fucking tease..”

“You’re the one to talk. Now shut up and fuck me.”

Snapping his hips to yours at a furious pace, Tony gripped your legs roughly and bit your ankle. The silly little game long forgotten, you let out a pornographic moan as you felt the muscles in your belly contract, thighs tremble and mind turn into a fuzzy blur.

“Cum with me Tony..” you begged as he let go of your legs and buried his face in your neck, a hand snaking downward to rub your oversensitive clit.

“Do that thing again.”

His urgent whisper came out muffled by your hair but you knew what he was talking about. You granted his wish by pulling on his cock with your walls and felt his hips lose their rhythm. He came loud and hard, spilling inside you in spurts triggering your own orgasm as you cried out, digging your nails in his back as you shuddered.

Once you felt yourself float back down to reality, you brought your hands to caress Tony’s hair while he chuckled against the skin on your neck, repeatedly kissing you over there.

“It’s a draw then?” He mumbled.

“Yep.”

“You want a rematch?”

“Definitely.”

#tony stark smut #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark imagine #tony stark oneshot #tony stark fic #iron man x you #iron man fluff #tony stark fluff

[gyllenwrites]

Phone sex w jake?

....i feel like phone sex with jake is something sacred 

have y’all heard that man talk? that one clip from colbert where he says “hey princess?” yeah, imagine that picking up the phone

literally just asking him to stop at the store and pick up some milk on his way home would be like phone sex if you ask me

but in all seriousness, phone sex is definitely a thing with jake when he’s away from you

texting is risky business — he’s definitely accidentally sent someone texts meant for you before and you just have to hold back from teasing him endlessly about it or else he’s gonna make you pay for it, and something tells me he’s the type to just use the diction feature anyways because he can’t get the text on his phone big enough

besides, he prefers to hear your voice when he’s asking how your day’s been, or when he’s telling you about his day

definitely likes hearing the way your breath snags in your throat when he takes the conversation from innocent to something a little more ~suggestive~ and knowing he’s getting under your skin

“fuck, pretty girl,” he’d say as he stretches out on the hotel bed, phone loosely tucked between the pillow and his cheek as he rests one hand behind his head and the other adjusting his pants. “i miss you.”

“miss you, too,” you’d say with a quiet sigh. “just not the same without you here.”

“oh yeah? what’s different?”

and you can absolutely hear the smirk through the phone

and he’s not the type to let you get away with a quiet “you know”

he spares no detail and he expects the same outta you

“you been trying to get yourself off without me there?”

you just nod, even though he can’t see it. “it’s not the same,” you’d admit. “my fingers, toys...not like the real thing.”

and you can hear the slight adjustment he makes on the bed, the rustling on the sheets. “tell me, sweetheart,” he encourages in a low, honeyed voice, and you have no choice but to comply because fuck, that voice is enough to send a stroke of heat right down to your core and get you wet. “tell me what you do when i’m not there to take care of you.”

you close your eyes and let one of your hands snake south, teasing at your entrance. “touch myself,” you start, taking a deep breath. “rub at my clit before i push in a few fingers, imagining that it’s you. that it’s your fingers playing with my pussy, your hand inside me, your cock thrusting in and out of me. you take such good care of me, baby. just tryna live up to it.”

you hear the quiet groan from the other end of the phone and you clench your thighs together to tighten their grip on your hand where you’re already shallowly dipping your fingers inside of you, thumb nudging along your clit. 

“are you already fingering that pretty pussy of mine?” you reply with a quiet uh-huh and he laughs. “’course you are. so fuckin’ needy.”

“you wanna know what i’m gonna do to you when i get home?” jake prompts, and the rasp in his voice drives a whimper out of your throat, letting your imagination take you somewhere else entirely. your fingers venture a little deeper inside you. “i asked you a question, sweetheart.”

“yes,” you breathe out. “yes, i wanna know what you’ll do.”

“gonna spread you out on our bed,” he begins, and you have to adjust your phone onto the bed beside you so you’ve got both hands accessible. “and i’m gonna bury my head in between your thighs and leave hickeys all up the inside of ‘em so you know i was there, so you know who you belong to. and when i finally get up to that pussy, i’m sure a desperate little slut like you will already be dripping, won’t you?”

you’re already lost in his voice, letting his words fill your mind as your fingers try to compensate that a response comes easy (after you remember how to breathe, of course, your breath lodged in your throat from the moans and whimpers that you’re already drawing). “i’m always wet for you, daddy.”

jake laughs, a rough and gravelly noise, and you let your head fall back into the pillow. “’course you are, you’re my good girl. and i’ll make sure you get what you need  — i’ll eat your pussy out until you’re about to cry, begging me to let you come. i’ll let you ride my face, make a whole fuckin’ mess over my mouth and nose so that all i’ve gotta do is breathe and it’ll be like being back in that sweet pussy. you’d like that, huh? c’mon, baby girl, lemme hear you.”

it doesn’t take much; his voice and the imagery he paints inside your mind paired with the sensation of your fingers moving inside you is more than enough to draw out the moans from inside your throat. you don’t bother holding back, either, because there’s no one home to hear you and it’s gotta get across the country somehow. jake keeps on going: “and then once you come, i’m gonna put you on your knees and hold your hair back so you can take care of daddy the same way he took care of you.”

“yes, daddy, i want your cock in my mouth,” you whine, thrusting your fingers with a little more vigor while your other hand drags up your stomach and above your breast to tease at your nipples. “wanna suck your cock until i choke, gonna trace the head with my tongue before i swallow it, take as much of you as i can so you can fuck my mouth until you’re ready to come.”

“gonna let me come down your throat?”

“yes, please come in my mouth.”

“and once i come, gonna have you open that pretty mouth of yours before you swallow so you can show me the mess i left there for you to take care of. you’ll be a good girl, won’t you, sweetheart? swallow all my come?”

“of course, daddy,” you breathe out.

your orgasm is starting to grow in the pit of your belly, the harder you finger yourself to the sound of his words; he drives you so fucking insane and it’s so perfect, the way that even when he isn’t here he knows just what you need

“then i’m gonna flip you over and pull that ass up in the air and slip right into your pussy, all wet and needy for me. gonna fuck you without any kind of mercy, baby, make you take every inch, but you can do it, can’t you? you take it so good, so warm and tight and wet and it’s all for me. gonna destroy my pussy.”

“please,” you whimper. “please wreck my little pussy.”

“oh, i will. you know i will. i’m gonna fuck you until you can’t walk the next day, gonna have my cock working in and out of that cunt and getting sucked back in because how tight you are. i’ll fuck you hard and fast and deep, maybe play with that pretty clit of yours. is that what you’re doing now, baby? are you playing with your clit?”

“mhm,” you agree as you add in another finger, letting your other hand solely dedicate its efforts to rubbing your clit in tight circles the way that he does, trying to replicate his rhythms

“fuck. the way you tighten up around me when i do that is exquisite, like you’re gonna milk me for all i’m worth. that sound good? i’ll come in you, let that cunt suck me dry and paint the mouth of those sweet pussy lips before i put my cock back in. and i’ll keep fucking you, fuck all my come in there so that it’s still there long after we finish, that you don’t start dripping me down your thighs until the next day when you get up and start walking around the house.”

his words are striking every nerve in your body and you feel your orgasm begin to heighten, losing track of the thoughts as you succumb to the feelings, and the lack of coherence in your responses (which, really, have devolved into nothing but breathy moans and gasps and whines) as you bite your lip so hard you can taste blood

and he must sense you’re close — or maybe it’s because he’s close himself, because he says, “c’mon, honey, i know you’re close, want you come for me, come for daddy—“

and you’d lose sound of his voice as your heart starts beating in your ears, your orgasm springing loose and unwinding you, and you think you can faintly hear him groaning and grunting and god, he gets off just hearing your reaction to pleasing yourself and it’s so hot, so fucking hot

and he’d just laugh, a rush of breath as he exhaled, saying something like “goddamn, pretty girl; if that’s what it’s like when we’re apart, can’t wait ‘til we’re together.” 

in conclusion jake gyllenhaal pls dm me with ur digits xx

#answered #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal smut #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal x you #Anonymous

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Horny on Main Disease - Komaeda x Reader

Summary: Reader catches a strain of the despair disease that means she says everything she is thinking. Kind of awkward considering all she can think about is how much she wants to jump Komaeda's bones. This is intended to be sort of funny, but i still wrote it pretty seriously, just want to make it clear that i did not half ass the smut. i whole assed it.

Word count: 4444  Contains: fem reader, they/them pronouns, despair disease, explict sexual content, unsafe sex, voyeurism Read on AO3 ミ☆ Please send me a DM or an ask if you’d like me to write something for you!

It’s not even a particularly hot day, and yet you’re sweating bullets as you walk over to the dining hall like you do every morning. Your legs are wobbly and your head is aching something terrible, you assume that you’ve caught a cold or something , whatever the problem is, it’s going to be a question for Tsumiki when you meet up with her at breakfast.

Kuzuryu is standing out by the pool, pensively staring into the still water. He probably misses Pekoyama, but you’re smart enough to know not to-

“Hey, Kuzuryu! I bet you miss your dead girlfriend, huh?”

He just stares at you, and it takes a good few seconds for you to even realise what you just said out loud. You clap a hand over your mouth, horrified.

“I don’t know why I said that!” You squeak

Kuzuryu doesn’t look...angry? He shakes his head at you and sighs, “you’re acting weird today too, aren’t you?”

“What? Weird? Who’s weird?”

“Owari was here a few minutes ago, bawling her eyes out on the ground.” He crosses his arms and looks away from you, “I think the bear is planning something again.”

You nod sternly, “anyone with tits as big as Owari has nothing to cry about! Something is definitely suspicious.”

Oh god why did you say that??

“Oh god, why did I say that??”

You just keep saying everything you’re thinking!

“I just keep saying everything I’m-“

Kuzuryu grabs you by the wrist and starts tugging you towards the dining hall, “something is definitely fucked up.” He looks down at where his hand is gripping yours, “Jesus Christ, your skin is on fire!”

“Yeah, cause I’m hot !” That was already an embarrassing thing to say, you are horrified when your mouth drops open again to follow it up with, “bow-chicka-wow-wow!”

There is definitely something wrong with you. In general you are the sort of person who takes the time to carefully curate every word that leaves your mouth, the fact that you are just speaking without even thinking about it is bizarre and alarming. The ache in your head is also steadily growing stronger and you’re starting to feel dizzy, maybe you’re just delirious with flu? It doesn't make sense for you to catch the flu on an abandoned island, but weirder things have happened already.

It is at this moment that you realise you have been (only semi-coherently) mumbling your full internal tirade outloud to Kuzuryu, who is now helping you up the stairs to the dining hall. He has very diplomatically, been either ignoring, or at least pretending to ignore everything you have been saying.

“You’re nice. Probably the politest yakuza i’ve ever met.” you pause, “I’ve never met another yakuza, i'm not sure why i said it like that.”

Kuzuryu scoffs and tugs you up at the last step. Deigning to give your comment any sort of response.

As you step up onto the dining hall landing, you freeze. This is dangerous. Your nails are biting into the skin of your palms, and your already warm face feels even hotter. Don't look at him, don't think about him, don't look at him, don't think about him. Kuzuryu is giving you a look, you must be verbalising your own mental gymnastics, but that is less embarrassing than the alternative.

“Don't look at him, don't think about him, don't look at him, don't think-”

You look up, like an idiot . Komaeda is sitting by the window with his chin in his palm, just sort of staring off into the middle distance, not really looking at anything. The morning sun cascades through the window and catches in his hair. It shimmers. Your heart twists and turns in your chest, you have been trying to keep this little fascination of yours under wraps, but he slowly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in through his nose and-

“He looks like an angel .” You say, and you say it loudly.

All eyes in the room turn to you. Hinata especially is looking at you with his particular brand of exhaustion, that says this is not the first weird thing he has heard today. You scramble, trying desperately to think about anything other than Komaeda, to stop yourself from saying anything stupid. In your desperation, what you say is: “Yes hello! I was talking about anyone in this room apart from Komaeda. Please do not be confused, it was not Komaeda. I want to make it crystal clear that i am NOT attracted to Nagito Komaeda. This is a very convincing lie and you all believe me!”

Mioda straightens her spine and salutes you, “Roger! You are not attracted to Komaeda, I believe you!”

Your sweating even more now, it’s getting hard to breathe, “Forget I said anything!”

Mioda salutes again, “Consider it forgotten!”

“What is happening?! ” Hinata exclaims, gesturing wildly to you, Mioda, and Owari who you suddenly notice is leaning against the far wall and sobbing, “This is not normal!”

Your eyes slip to Komaeda again. He is looking at you and he is blushing-

“He looks so...cute…” You whisper, and Hinata yelps.

“Why are you all being so weird???? ”

Monokuma takes that as his cue to finally show up. Waltzing on into the dining hall like he owns the place, clearly buzzing with excitement, “A good question!” He says, clamoring up onto a vacant chair and holding a paw in front of his face to hide his laughter, “ Oooh , this is my best motive yet! Looks like three members of the class have come down with a bad case of the despair disease!”

“D-Despair Disease?” Tsumiki contributes, nervously playing with her hands, “I’ve never heard of such a thing!”

“Yeah, well. It’s pretty self explanatory!” Monokuma says, “The main symptom is high fever, along with some other fun despair related effects! It’s a bit of a mixed bag though and no two cases are the same! For example, Moida is suffering from the Gullible Disease...Owari has the Cowards Disease.” Then, Monokuma points his stubby little paw in your direction, “And you have the No Filter Disease. You just say whatever you’re thinking! It’s been lots of fun so far, upupupupu~”

“Oh, does that mean all those things they were just saying about Komaeda were the truth?” Sonia says. Her brows draw together, and she taps her lips with a finger, “How interesting.”

“It’s not my fault he’s gorgeous!” the words escape you before you have a chance to stop them. You squeal and clap a hand over your mouth before you start talking again. Komaeda is now bright red to the tips of his ears.

“That was true? GROSS!” Saionji exclaims.

You glare at Monokuma, “If you wouldn't kill me for doing it, I'd rip out all your stuffing right now.”

Monokuma withers a little, “Aw~ Is that what you really feel? Here I was thinking we were great friends.”  

“I’ll gut you like a fish.” you pause, “a bear-fish.” another pause, “a fish-bear.” You groan, “UGH, I can’t stop saying stupid things! I’m all sweaty! This sucks !”

Tsumiki steps over to you, her hand is shaking as she brings it up to your forehead.

“Oh…” you breathe, “your hand is cold.”

“S-Sorry! I’m just checking your temperature.”

“You smell like lavender.”

She recoils a little, “It’s j-just my shampoo!!'' Then she shakes her head and turns to the rest of the group, “Monokuma is telling the truth. They’ve got a fever.”

Hinata hurriedly presses his hand against the foreheads of both Owari and Moida, confirming that they’re also burning up, “What do we do, Tsumiki?”

Before she can answer, Monokuma pipes up again, “did I forget to mention? It’s contagious~~”

Saionji squeals and backpedals all the way to the stairs, “Contagious!?”

“Yeah and I'm a conta- genius . Get it?”

Souda gives you an uncomfortable look and scratches the back of his neck, “How much space in your brain is taken up by bad puns?”

You’re feeling really dizzy now, “A lot of it! But usually I don't say any of them!” your knees wobble and you almost fall over, luckily Tsumiki is still close enough to grab you before you topple to the ground, “I am going to kill that goddamn bear .”

“Could-could someone help me?” Tsumiki squeaks, “If i keep holding them up like this we-we’re just both going to fall over.”

You giggle a little, slipping into a semi-delirium as you cling to Tsumiki for dear life. Hinata and the others start working on a plan to keep everyone safe until the illness runs its course, “Hey Tsumiki…” you whisper, “Komaeda’s got real nice hands, huh?” she is too busy trying to keep you upright to answer, “I want him to carry me. Unless I'm too heavy, Tsumiki, am I too heavy?”  

You’re all but draped over Tsumiki now, who is trying in vain to shuffle you over to a nearby wall, when you suddenly hear her sigh in relief, “Oh...Th-Thank you. I’m not very s-strong…”

You manage to flop your head around to face the other direction, lacking the strength to turn your neck properly. Komaeda is looking down at you, it might just be the fever, but you feel like you’re going to burst into flames.

“Aha, I’m sure i'm not much stronger than you, Tsumiki.” He says, gently wrapping his arm around your shoulders and tugging you over to him. You might have moaned, you can't be sure, “But I do have the height advantage.”

The utter tsunami that leaves your mouth is unavoidable. Literally medically unavoidable, but that doesn't stop it from being the most embarrassing moment of your life.

“He’s touching me. He’s touching me…” your head has come to rest on his chest and you are practically hyperventilating, “He smells like chamomile soap and clean laundry...His hands are cold, his shirt is soft...Oh god i'm so sweaty, he probably thinks i'm disgusting! Komaeda, i'm so sorry , this was meant to be a secret!!! I wasn't going to tell you, everyones gonna think I'm weird!” your thoughts are leaving your mouth faster than you can think of them, if Komaeda is reacting to anything you have to say, you don't notice because despite your mouth running a mile a minute you still have an ounce enough of shame and bury your face in his chest to hide from your own words.

The world is spinning, your head feels heavy, everything is so hot , “Your hair is nice, did you know your hair is nice? God, I've wanted to run my fingers through it since day one. This is so fucked up, you almost killed someone! I want to stop talking , i feel like i'm gonna pass out, i'm gonna pass out, i'm gonna pass out. Im gonna…”

***

“I think I passed out.” Is the first thing you say when you wake up. You’re still hot and the back of your neck is sweaty, but you can see that you are now in the hospital, and that you’re wearing a hospital gown.

“Who undressed me?!” You exclaim, disappointed to find that you still can’t help saying everything you think.

At the sound of your voice, the door to your room opens, and Komaeda steps in.

“No! Not you!”

He freezes, withering under your gaze, “Ah, I see. Being greeted by garbage like me in your current state, it must be insulting .”

You feel like an asshole .

“That’s not what I meant! Please don’t go, I never want you to go.”

Komaeda laughs a little, still lurking nervously in the doorway, “You’re confusing me.”

“I don’t want you to hear what I’m thinking. I want you to stay, but all I can think about is how much I want to suck on your collarbone.” You freeze the second you stop talking, a high pitched whine leaving your mouth as you hide your face in your hands, “I’m so sorry! I can’t stop it!”

Stepping further into the room, Komaeda quietly closes the door behind him. Your heart is pounding.

“I’m nervous.” You say.

He tilts his head, walking over to the side of your bed, “I can still leave if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m not uncomfortable.” You shrink under his gaze, “it just, the way you closed the door it makes me feel like you’re planning something, like maybe we’re going to have-“ you manage to cover your mouth before the rest of the sentence escapes. Keeping your hands tight over your lips as all you can think about is his long fingers, his soft hair, his half lidded eyes.

“Are you...still talking behind your hands?”

You nod.

A smile crawls up the side of his face, “are you saying something embarrassing?”

“I wanna stick my tongue in your mouth.” You say, loud enough that even the tight grip of your hands doesn’t muffle it.

Komaeda remains remarkably calm, “You keep saying those things. This disease...means you say whatever you’re thinking, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. It’s driving me crazy, I’m just being such an idiot and I’m probably freaking you out. I’m sorry.”

“No, that’s not it.” He sighs, moving slowly as he sits down on the side of your bed, “Honestly, why would you let such thoughts about scum like me take up so much real estate in your mind?”

“I can’t help it!” You exclaim, “I’ve been trying not to think about it, but I just can’t! I want you so badly. I…..I-“ you hold your breath, you can’t let that last part out, no matter what, you can’t say that last part. You’ll die of suffocation before you let him hear it.

“You...what?” He asks

Oh god. You can’t stop thinking about it. Your lungs are aching, screaming for you to just open your mouth.

“What are you hiding, hm?”

It’s too much. The nerves, your sick and weakened body, him right there . You can’t do it, you can’t stop it, the next time you see Monokuma, you are drop kicking him into the sun.

“I’ve touched myself while thinking about you!”

The words echo off the walls of the room like a gunshot.

For a moment Komaeda just stares at you, but then, his shaky hands reach out and wrap around both of your wrists. His throat bobs.

“Hng. I want to suck on the side of your neck, I want to see you covered in marks from my teeth-“ you try to cover your mouth with your hands again. Komaeda grips your wrists tighter.

“No.” He whispers, trembling, “keep going.”

“ God, your hands are so big. I want to know how deep your fingers would reach inside of me. I bet you’re good at it, I bet you’re really good at it.” He just keeps staring at you, ghostly green eyes blown wide, chest heaving , “Are you turned on? Is this turning you on? Just pin me down and fuck me, do it, do it, do it!”

“How...how often are you thinking about me like this?”

“Oh, all the time.” You freeze, mentally (and therefore also verbally) berating yourself, “Not all the time! Just like, a normal amount. However much that is.” He is still just looking at you, the pad of his thumb slowly brushes across the pulsepoint in your wrist and you shiver, “Yes, yes! I’ve wanted this intimacy with you for so long . I couldn't tell anyone, I couldn't tell you. During the first trial, when you went on your weirdo rant about hope and despair. I was scared, i was so scared, but oh god- ” you can't stop yourself. Every thought in your head is pouring out of your lips. Filling up the room, the mortification is drowning you . All you can do is squeeze your eyes shut to avoid looking at him, “I was wet , Komaeda. I went back to my cabin and came three times to the thought of you, I am reprehensible . What do you think the others would do if they found out, huh? That all i can think about is you fucking me over my trial podium. They’ll tie me up next-”

The bed squeaks, and Komaeda brings his knee up and over your hips.

“-Oh my god. You’re doing it aren't you?”

His other leg comes up on the bed, and he settles, hovering up above you. He shrugs, “I honestly don't understand why this is something you want,” he leans down over you, resting his palms on either side of your head, “but who am I to deny the wishes of an ultimate.”

If not for the warmth of his lips pressed against yours, you are sure that you wouldn't be able to shut up, based only on the number of thoughts tumbling through your head like they’re on a spin cycle. You are still sweaty with fever and probably look disgusting, but Komaeda shuffles down in between your legs and hikes your hospital gown up to your waist. So you are suitably distracted.

He laughs as he hooks his fingers around your panties and tugs them down your thighs, “I cant believe that you want scum like me to touch you like this. Usually I would assume that you are lying, or taking pity on me.” He grins, running a finger up the length of your sex, “But everything you say to me is your exact thoughts, isnt it?”

“Yes! Touch me, please! ” You’re quivering beneath him, barely able to breathe in between your frantic pleas, “You feel so good, you feel perfect . I want your fingers inside me so bad .”

He hisses as he slips his middle and ring finger inside of you, eyes glued to where your entrance is swallowing him up, “Ahaaa...you’re drenched . You really do want me don't you?” he pistons his fingers in and out slowly, slowly and deliberately, “Someone like you, desiring me so terribly. It’s such a waste , but i can't help it. I must be selfish and take this chance while i can.”

“Not a….waste....” You force out, helplessly grinding on his fingers, “Want you....want only you…”

“Oh- Ohhhh .” He moans, “I can feel you, squeezing around my fingers. You’re so wet...so warm…”

You hear a zipper coming undone, and your thoughts go into overdrive, “oh my god, oh my god. Komaeda’s going to jerk off in front of me, wanna watch, wanna watch! ”

His fingers still inside you for a moment as he tugs his boxers down far enough to slip out his cock. Your eyes follow the movement of his long fingers as he slowly curls them around the base, and tugs them up again, rolling the pad of his thumb over the head. His hips buck, and you moan.

“You...you’re tightening around my fingers…” he breathes, choking on a moan as he pumps his cock again, “you like watching me touch myself?” Your hips stutter, grinding your clit against the meat of his palm as he continues stroking himself. His eyes are wide as he watches you writhing beneath him.

“The face you make when you do that...it’s so cute.” You say, whining as his fingers start moving inside you again, “it’s even cuter than I imagined. Your cheeks are all red.” You swallow, “and your cock is so pretty...I want you to cum inside me, so bad .”

His breath hitches, “you want me to cum, inside you?” his cock is leaking with pre-cum now, painfully hard in his hand. His chest is heaving.

“Yes yes yes! ” You plead, “I want you, please! ”

“I don’t understand.” He breathes, and you whimper as his fingers slip out of you, “How could someone be so desperate for my pathetic seed?”

“Fill me up , Komaeda!” You exclaim, at this point you are long past embarrassed. The words leaving your mouth are the absolute truth and there is no way you can deny them.

He groans at that, an octave deeper than you are used to hearing and it seems he is having trouble denying you. His own desperation mingling with yours and overtaking his painful self-doubt, he wraps a hand around the base of his cock, and slowly edges the swollen head against your entrance, “f-fuck…” he mutters as he slips inside you, “you’re so warm .”

You can barely even register what you are saying anymore, it’s little more than a string of compliments about how good he feels inside you. About how handsome he is. Your tongue feels weird and loose in your mouth from overuse, but you still can’t stop talking.

He looms above you, halo of white hair bouncing as he thrusts in and out of you, the unmistakable jangle of the chain hanging from his jeans. All things that confirm it is Komaeda inside of you. Your heart races with the fact.

“Th-thank you, for permitting me to do this with you.” He stammers, sweat slowly dripping down his brow, “it’s...so good...it feels like I belong inside you. ”

A moan rips through you, and you hook your weak ankles around his waist, “you do belong inside me. You fit so perfectly , I was made for your cock. GOD I sound so filthy…..I- I can’t help it.”

“ No.” He hisses, eyes meeting yours, “Keep talking.”

“You say that like I can stop.” You dip your head lower, and wrap your lips around his left collarbone, moaning as you suck hard enough to leave a bruise. He keens above you, hips snapping against yours even faster, “Your hip bones are digging into my thighs…”

He squeezes his eyes shut, “I-I’m sorry, do you want me to-“

“Don’t you dare stop, Komaeda. You’re mine , I want to feel every inch of you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

You bring a shaky hand up to his cheek, he nuzzles into your palm, “You aren’t hurting me. It feels wonderful.”

He kisses you then, messy and wet, his lips taste like desperation. Even with his tongue tangled with yours, you are still trying to speak. Sweet nothings, forceful demands, anything and everything that comes to mind is trying to force its way out of your mouth. Something is in the pit of your stomach is twisting tight and you moan greedily into the cavern of his mouth as his hips meet yours again. You can feel that he’s losing his rhythm.

“S-sorry. I’m...im close…” A moan rips from his throat and he buries his face in your neck.

Your hips have started canting up to meet his, you want so badly to be close to him, to feel all of him, “M’close to. I love having you inside me, i want to do this again and again and-”

Komaeda freezes, eyes turning to the door on the other side of the room. Footstops.

“Who is it? Did they hear? Are there going to come in? What do you think they’re going to do if they see you inside of-”

Komaeda covers your mouth with his palm. You’re still talking, but at least it’s muffled now. Kuzuryu and Hinata are chatting in the hallway, the footsteps seem only to be growing closer. You can't stop thinking terrible, horrible things, and while Komaeda’s hand keeps you quiet enough that they can't seem to hear you from outside, Komaeda can definitely hear you.

“I wanna keep going.”

His eyes are blown wide, but you feel the tell-tale throb of his cock inside of you, “ What?! ” he hisses, “there’s no way you can keep quiet like this...they’ll definitely hear us.”

“I don’t care if they hear us, I want them to hear us. I want them to know what you’re doing to me.”

His hips twitch, and he bites his lip hard to keep in a moan, “You're not ashamed to be seen intimately with someone as despicable as me?”

You coo at him, running your index finger down the front of his throat and over the mark you left on his collarbone, he tentatively removes his hand from your mouth and pushes some sweaty hair away from your forehead, you smile, “I’m not ashamed of you. I’m in love with you.”

Komaeda sucks a breath in through his teeth, and it is only then that you realise what you have said.

“Oh GOD. I didn't - I'm so sorry.” your eyes are wide, you’re ready for him to jump up and bolt out of the room, “I just thought it and then i said it, and jesus christ im so sorry-”

You’re cut off by his lips. The kiss is gentler, less desperate, but filled with the depth of passion. He starts thrusting in and out of you again, and you gasp in surprise at the feeling. He pulls away from the kiss, and rests his forehead against yours, his breathing heavy as one of his hands slips down under your knee. He pushes your leg up higher and you choke on a moan at how much deeper this new angle feels.

A high-pitched whine leaves his throat as he continues moving inside of you, he swallows, “I...I love you too.”

“Aaah... ahhh .” You’re so close at this point, the coiling in your stomach is about ready to snap, “I love you so much, I want your cum, please! ”

“I’ll give it to you, I...hah...I’ll fill you up...is that what you want?”

His hand slips down to your clit and you shriek , clenching hard around his cock, “Yes, yes, yes! I’m close...i'm so close…”

“I’m gonna...I...I…”

A moan rips through you as your climax finally hits, for the first time this day your mind is void of thoughts. All you can do is feel . Your fingers dig into the bedsheet under you, and your legs tighten around Komaeda’s waist. He writhes and moans above you,  he just keeps going, harder and harder and harder, and then, with a heavy groan you feel him release inside of you.

“Thank...you…” you mutter, “thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…”

Before Komaeda has a chance to say anything in return, someone clears their throat on the other side of the door. The two of you freeze.

“Are you two done?” Hinata asks, he sounds exasperated.

Komaeda clears his throat, “Um...yeah...pretty much.”

“His dick is literally still inside of me! Maybe give us a few minutes!” You wince at the blunt sentence that just left your mouth, Komaeda is clearly trying not to laugh, you huff “Sorry Hinata! I can't help it!”

This disease was going to be the death of you.

#komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #komaeda nagito x reader #my writing #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa fanfiction

[eltanin-malfoy]

The Portend (His Royal Highness II)

word count: 6.7k

warning(s): cursing, anxiety

a/n: hi all! i just wanted to say that i know this chapter’s length is SO different from the first one’s but that’s because that one is, again, 2 years old and was written all at once. the other chapters will also be fairly long from here on out. i hope you enjoy this one!

taglist: @drawlfoy @war-sword @lilyreachelcassidy @socontagiousimagines @andreasworlsboring101 [@kaibie @regalillegal @mayorofzillyhoo, i know you all wanted to be tagged in the full-length HRH and this is pretty much it ig. please let me know if you’re still interested and want me to add you to the permanent tag list for this series]

reply to this post or send me an ask/dm if you want to be added to the tag list for the series or for all of my fics!

HRH - Table Of Contents

Y/N placed her palms flat on her desk as if doing so would bring any sort of change to the absolute hurricane that had begun its wrath within her stomach. She tried to imagine she was somewhere else for a second. Why would any rational human being do this to someone? That too to someone with as much responsibility as she had. Oh, right… she’d forgotten. Prince Draco was far from rational. Far from being a human being, even.

She looked down at the paper trays with guest lists upon guest lists kept before her, shifted them to the side and planted her face on the wood. That’s better , she thought. Now no one else can see how fucking ridiculous I feel right now! She tried to think about what the hell she’d done to him to make him act so horribly towards her. What could she have possibly done in a past life that would have resulted in her having to face such a… conundrum? She’d thought it was hard enough having to bargain with the King and Queen over how much detail could possibly be squeezed into cake decorations but had no idea a situation even more stressful could and would arise.

How could she let herself get so weak? How could she not bring herself to be assertive? She could have just said no, right? It wasn’t that hard. He hadn’t been nice at all. She took a deep, deep breath, trying desperately to calm her brain. It had begun to run from thought to thought, imagining every possible scenario that could go wrong. She had so much work left to complete on her own, and god knew how much attention and criticism she might face at and after the ball.

And the way she’d freaked out in front of Draco as well! She was sure he must’ve been at least a little put off by how strongly and emotionally she’d reacted so quickly. God, not that that should matter that much but… if they were supposed to work together for a highly publicised ordeal, they had to get along, right? Right? She hadn’t meant to do that. It’s just that he’d already shocked her a bit by slipping into her office so unexpectedly. And then he’d gone on and rushed to… that . Not to excuse what he did but perhaps she should’ve realised she didn’t need to panic so much over it either. She knew she was having a hard time with her anxiety…

Nevertheless, she brought her hands to the edge of the table closer to her and pushed herself up. She looked forwards, turning slightly to face the window she was looking out before everything turned to shit. The scenery was still gorgeous, albeit not that comforting anymore but looking out at the wide expanse of a beautiful garden would bring just about anyone some tranquillity. She had been thinking about how lovely the weather was today, how nice it would be to go for a walk after she’d finished up with her work. Maybe she could even head downtown for once and meet some old friends. But no, no one was happy just giving her a single moment of peace. Even fate was bent upon just giving her as much to stress about as was possible.

She looked down at the paper trays she’d just abandoned. Administrative work could distract her a bit, couldn’t it? All she had to do was send RSVP reminders and reach out to the guests and performers coming in from out of town about their travel and accommodation details. As well as request the performers for the outlines of their performances and send them contracts saying they’d stick by the approved setups. They couldn’t have a repeat of last year’s embarrassing The Hobgoblins’ performance. To be very brief, it had gone sexual. (The King and Queen’s expressions during it were still popular reaction gifs) She picked out one of the lists and opened up her laptop, finally beginning the work she’d been putting off all morning. It seemed so much easier and more comforting now that she had the much more disturbing dilemma on hand. She corroborated the list in front of her, adding ticks and crosses to the list to mark invitees as having confirmed or not. She then compiled their contact details and created a template for emails to send to those that had yet to confirm their attendance and travel itineraries. After this, she did the same with the list of performers, making sure to add enough information to their emails regarding the outlines they should send back.

And there… most of her work was done already, wasn’t it? Now all she had to do was proofread these, make sure all of the addressees were receiving the appropriate emails and well, press send. It shouldn’t take too long and then she could… She could get back to stressing about the problem fucking Draco had landed her in, goddammit! She was right back there again, her stomach beginning to swirl dangerously. She tried to take in a few deep breaths, forcing herself to get back to work. It wasn’t that hard. It wasn’t that hard!

Never mind, she couldn’t deal with it right now. She… Well, she needed a break. Or maybe she just needed to leave work early today. It was fair game after what the hell Draco had just unloaded on her. It was time she gave her intern some actual responsibility anyway. He was a sweet little fellow, straight out of university. Had his head in the right place but wasn’t particularly good with all the practical work yet. She’d assigned him some random organisational task she knew wouldn’t take her more than a minute and wasn’t going to bother checking because she thought it was simply too easy. Hopefully, he’d been able to do it to her standards.

She sat back in her chair and raised her hands up to her head, stretching out her fingers and breathing in and out deeply through her mouth. She was going to do this. She was really going to handle this (easier) bit of the work off to the intern and he was going to do it just fine. Just fine. Maybe she might have to assist him with it a little bit but it was going to work. It would work. Yes, it would. She shook her head to try and shake off some of her anxiety and stood up, closing her laptop’s screen and picking up the tray of guest lists. She walked out of her office and into the large room outside of it, which had a small group of cubicles placed in the middle.

While the rest looked rapt in their work (an exaggeration, to be sure, a lot of them were chatting with their co-workers and eating snacks), she noted her dear intern was just sitting idle which both made her feel hopeful and worried. He was sitting with his laptop closed, one hand tapping on the table’s surface, the other holding his phone.

“Hi, Colin!” Y/N said and he jerked forwards in surprise, dropping his phone to the floor. “Oh… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”. Colin shook his head as he picked it up and looked it over, “It’s no problem, miss… My phone is just fine. Are you alright? I know the prince was just in your office, he came to ask me where it was first! I was so excited and I asked him for a picture but he said he was in a rush! I can’t believe I’ve managed to have a conversation with one of the royals already!” Hmm… “have a conversation” was probably a stretch but… she chose to ignore that. The boy was definitely an optimist and she couldn’t fault him for that.

“That’s lovely, Colin. I’m sure you’ll get to talk to him and the others again. I had some work for you if you’re up to it.”

“Yes, of course! Does it have anything to do with the prin-”

“Let’s calm down there, Colin. I trust you’ve completed what I assigned you earlier?”

“... Oh, yes I have!”

“That’s great.”

She set the paper tray on the side of his desk and he looked at it for a few seconds before looking up at her again.

“So… what do I have to do?”

Y/N gulped and laid out the lists for him, beginning to explain to him the meanings of the markings she’d made and the emails he had to look through and send off.

***

Beep, beep.

Y/N kept her phone pressed between her shoulder and her ear as she walked around her apartment. She was holding a large iced vanilla latte in one hand and her purse in the other. She knew she needed to set something down but felt too jittery to do anything but pace around with her stuff. It was probably partly inspired by the amount of caffeine she’d drank that day but hey, that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Today was also a terribly tense day, wasn’t it?

Beep, beep.

She took a nice long sip of her latte, relishing in how nice and cold it was. She had the air conditioner on and had taken off her blazer but it still felt like she was this close to overheating. This sudden heatwave throughout the country was absolutely unwelcome as far as she was concerned.

Now if only Pansy’d pick up so she could get some clarity on the situation. Suddenly the dial tone ended and she heard the crackling of breathing through the speaker.

“Hello, Y/N?”

She smiled and finally set her purse down.

“Hi, Pansy! It’s so nice to finally hear your voice. Are you free to talk?”

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting, I was just sending off this email but now I’m free for a bit, yes. And Jesus, Y/N, is something… up?”

“Oh, nothing… it’s just… the prince really got me gobsmacked today.”

She hears her gasp over the phone.

“Oh my, the prince?! Well then… I certainly wasn’t expecting that. Although, I suppose… it’s not so far off for the prince to bother you when you’re working at the palace...”

“Pansy… that’s beside the point.”

“Yeah, okay, so… what happened? You have to tell me now.”

“I will but you need to promise me you won’t get mad or jealous of me or anything. I didn’t choose to be a part of it.”

“Of course I won’t be mad. Why would I be?”

“Well, you know, your history and… how you were off your trolley about him as a teenager?”

“Oh, bugger off, babe. That’s not even true anyway.”

“Oh, really? I can vaguely recall someone crying and taking care of him for weeks after he was attacked by that bird he harassed in the first place.”

“I was just… overemotional.”

“Right.”

“So what, okay? So what if I liked him for a while? There’s nothing there anymore. Even waking up to him the next day after the… you know what between us, I was just repulsed. And you thought he was fit too! So. And I feel like I only just liked him because I thought my parents would be happy with us together.”

“That’s… fair. But yes, you’re right, I’ll get back to my story then.”

“Yes, please.”

Y/N started to unbutton the collar of her shirt, beginning to feel hot again. She took another sip of her latte.

“Well, basically, I was just sitting in my office, you know, minding my own business, when Mr Royalty just busts in and starts talking to me.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Yeah, I know right? Anyway, he got straight to it and asked me to be his date to the coronation ball.”

“Holy shit! That’s… never mind, but you said no, right?”

“Well… at first, yes. But then...”

“You what? That’s so unlike you, Y/N, come on…”

“I know, okay… I shouldn’t have. I just started to feel bad for him and I... Should I get out of it? I’m thinking I will. It’ll be stressful, won’t it? I just… I don’t know what to do about it, okay? I’m lost. Help me.”

Pansy fell silent for a second and Y/N undid the whole of her button-down, setting her drink down onto a table as she headed into her bedroom to look for a lighter change of clothes.

“You know the first thing I’m going to tell you is you owe him nothing. I know you felt bad for him but he really shouldn’t have asked you that with no context or anything. He was the one in the wrong here for sure. It’s sweet of you to accept his offer but you don’t have to keep up on it if it’s really stressing you out so much. Also, the fact that you accepted such a spontaneous offer makes me a little sceptical of the power play there...”

“You’re right. Also, I think it definitely wasn’t nice of him but he wasn't mean about it or anything. He was definitely adamant but eh....”

She set her phone onto her bed and turned it to speakerphone, opening her wardrobe and taking out a t-shirt and some shorts.

“At the same time… when we look at the positives, they are fairly significant. You’ll likely have to give in… not that many hours in exchange for a pretty fun night. You know the service at royal events is amazing and if you’re literally the date of the guy the event is being thrown for, the King being crowned that night… I’m going to guess you’ll get so much from that. You’ll obviously get some… fame and have to pack on some PDA there and what not but that means free stuff, great clothes, who even knows what else. You’d just have to work extra hard for that time and balance the work, but I thought you said you were done with a lot of the stuff already.”

“That is … true.”

“But you’re not happy with that, are you?”

“You don’t have to say it like that. It’s just… actually I don’t have a counterargument for that. The perks do sound pretty good.”

“Right? But you know, there might be criticism or hate or something you might get.”

“Well… I’ll also get paid to advertise things after that, won’t I? And free things and VIP invites to places I wouldn’t even have been able to enter before.”

“Well, yes, but… maybe that’s something of an exaggeration, you know. Not every brand or group or whatever is that fixated on how much publicity they can get.”

“... I mean, aren’t they?”

“Okay, yes, they are. I think you should do this.” Y/N laughed as she took off her skirt. She sat down on her bed in her underwear, lying down so her head was near her phone.

“This was a very helpful call. Thank you.”

“I do agree, I think I was a huge help.”

“I concur. Again.”

“Thank you! Now, can I request an invitation to the ball as well?”

“Pansy!”

She giggled and sat up, crossing her arms. “Of course I’ll get you an invite, Pans!”

“Great. I was expecting that. I’m not missing you floundering around, having a… Cinderella moment for the world.”

“A Cinderella moment?”

“You know, getting a chance to dress up like a princess for a night? It’s weirdly literal too, it’s just for the night and then you go back to being normal again. Unless… the prince charming decides…”

“Shush up!” Y/N felt her face beginning to heat up. Not for the second time in one day… She sighed. And… partly because of the same person too.

“I’m sorry, darling. I hope I didn’t say too much there. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. It’s just a problem I’m starting to recognise with me. I keep getting more aggressive and emotionally charged than I mean to be.”

“I get that… you could try meditation, you know. Or you could join my yoga class, it’s pretty relaxing. The teacher has a nice butt too.”

“Pans!”

“Y/N!”

***

Her evening was fairly relaxed after that. The call with Pansy had seemed to fix the problem. Well, not exactly “fix”, more like change the way she looked at the issue so it felt all the lighter. And it worked pretty much the same. She began to feel so much better about the decision she’d made. After all, even if it was destiny or whatever, she’d been chosen for a reason, right? She’d managed to get Draco’s number off of Pansy. (“ It’s from… way back when so forgive me if he changed his number to get me off his back or some shit. ”) And… on a caffeine high, she had decided to text him almost right away.

Hi, your royal highness!

It only took a few hours but soon she was privy to:

Where did you get this number?

Got it from a friend. It’s Y/N btw :) should’ve said that before.

Oh, right! That makes sense. How’re you doing?

I’m alright, thanks. What about you?

I’m okay.

Listen, I was thinking about what happened today.

And now I’m wondering if we could meet tomorrow? Morning, if possible? It’s urgent.

Y/N squinted down at this message in confusion. What was this suggesting? Was there something wrong? Was he going to retract his offer? She knew there must be some kind of administrative work they’d have to log but was it really that serious already?

Sure, I’ll be free to meet before 9:30.

That is not what I was thinking of when I said morning :(

What, do you wake up at 4 o’clock or something?

No, I meant that that was too early!

She rolled her eyes. She should have seen that coming. He wasn’t exactly known for being put together. Or spiritual, for that matter.

We can call now if you really want.

No, it’s okay. It’s better we talk about it in person. I should try and wake up earlier anyway.

As you wish.

So I’ll meet you tomorrow then. Let’s say, 9 am sharp?

Perfect. I get dropped to the main drop off point at that time anyway.

Great. See you xx

See ya x

Y/N set her phone on her counter and put it to charge for the night. What the fuck? What was happening? The sleep she’d been looking forward to seemed to have suddenly drifted away. What was she going to have to worry about tomorrow morning?! She shifted under her sheets, turning where she lay to face the other side and look out her bedroom window. It was a clear, clear night. If she looked hard enough, she could probably see the edge of the royal estate. But then again, she really didn’t want to. She turned to the other side and just stared at her closet.

She wasn’t sure when her mind got tired of imagining potential disaster scenarios for the next day but Y/N woke up to the sound of her alarm ringing at 6:45 am. She reached over to her nightstand and turned it off, sitting up in bed and looking out the sun already shining bright in her window. It was barely May but the days had already begun to increase in length.

Since she’d woken up with ample time to complete her routine, she did everything she could to pamper herself, spending almost an hour in the bathroom. She even changed into her nicest formal clothes after, a white pantsuit with dark detailing. She packed her work bag with the essentials, her laptop, her water bottle, her royal admin ID, her wallet, stationery and her phone. She felt very prepared for once. Whatever was coming her way would be taken care of as needed.

She had a comfortable trip from her apartment building to the estate, the state-sanctioned car ride feeling a lot less bumpy than usual. It was still just as clear as it was last night, but the car’s windows were tinted so the sun’s rays felt like they barely even touched it. There was only the slightest hiccup when the driver slammed the brakes too hard all of a sudden and made Y/N’s face hit the seat before hers. OUCH!?

It didn’t take very long for the car to get to the palace, stopping at the main entrance pavilion. She didn’t notice anyone there yet and checked the time. It was still only 8:53 am. She had enough time to walk to the administrative wing, leave her things there and come back with time to spare. She walked through the hallway and towards the next hall which she knew led her to-

“Fuck me!” “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Hi, Y/N.”

She had her hand on her heart, trying to slow down her breathing as she looked at the blonde who had bumped straight into her. He had his hands in front of her to catch her if she fell. Thankfully, she had just missed falling.

“What the hell is it with you and giving me heart attacks?”

"I promise you that wasn’t my intention.”

“Well, I’d sure have hoped it wasn’t.”

She sighed and dropped her hand to her side, looking up at him with an eyebrow raised.

“So?”

“So, yes. Um. Can we walk or something? I don’t want to be standing here and have someone walk in on us?”

“... Draco, what do you have planned exactly...?”

She looked up at him quizzically and smirked. He managed a small smile but shook his head.

“God, get your mind out of the gutter! I just mean… this is stressful, okay?”

“Well, I’d like to drop my things off at my office if you don’t mind.”

“Alright, I’ll wait for you by the admin wing’s garden exit.”

“Done.”

***

Y/N had decided to leave her blazer on her chair and all her belongings except for her phone on her desk. Hopefully, Colin was good enough as a guard or she was getting robbed. Either way, she could spot a tall blonde’s head nervously bobbing above the hedge next to the exit. His face was a concerning shade of pink, goodness could only hope he’d put on an adequate amount of sun cream.

“Draco?”

“Yes, hi.”

He managed out, looking toward her walking out now.

“Are you okay? You look… red.”

“I’m fine.”

“I mean, are you sunburnt?”

“Oh…?”

He brought a hand up to touch his cheek.

“No, but that’s a good point. Let’s stand in the shade.”

She stopped where she was and he walked in to meet her. She felt her insides begin to do the jitterbug in anticipation. What could possibly have him so on edge? What was wrong?

“I’m really very sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t exactly thinking very straight when I came to see you. In hindsight, I know it got on your nerves and everything and I should’ve been a lot better at telling you about it.”

“It’s no big deal now, honestly.”

“Okay, but that’s not exactly why I called you. The thing is, there’s going to be a lot of PR work at this ball. I didn’t realise it before but Mother told me she’s arranging a meeting with our publicist for us today. And the publicist is never there just to take the piss. This is serious now. Like, even more than I thought it was.”

“I- what do you-”

“It’ll be very pressing, I would never hold it against you if you decided to pull out.” He stared into her eyes with a pensive expression on his face and Y/N felt whatever response she had been planning just vanish from existence. She pretended to have comprehended everything he said, but could only really think of saying one thing right then… That’s what she said... but that would be inappropriate. He soon got conscious and looked to the side and she felt the cogs in her brain begin to work again.

“The thing is my mother was getting a little impatient with me and telling me it was time for me to tell her who my date for the ball is. My parents have been begging me to find one unless I want to risk an arranged marriage, it’s a long story. So, I told them I’d find a date for myself and that they don’t need to worry. The truth is, I didn’t actually bother to find one and it was starting to get a little late. You know there’s only one month left till... right, you know. So… she came to talk to me about it over lunch and she told me I had to tell her who it was so she could arrange everything for us. I started to think about whom my parents would be okay with me going with and whom I would be okay with and well… you were on top of the list.”

“I’m hoping that’s a compliment.”

“It- it is. I told her your name and she was satisfied with it, I think. And then I was scared she’d come and talk to you immediately so I ran to you first and just asked you about it then. Again, I’m sorry it came out as forcefully as it did. I didn’t mean to… get you stuck in this whole thing.”

He took a deep breath and looked back at her again. Her stomach seemed to begin buzzing as she felt her anxiety grow. This was not going to go as smoothly as she expected, was it? The queen, and most likely the king as well, knew. Although that wasn’t exactly unanticipated, it gave everything a sense of finality. Like, she didn’t have much legroom here at all.

“Anyway, that's what happened. I’m sorry, again.”

He looked at her as if he was waiting for her to yell at him. She wasn’t intending to and just turned to the side, trying to calm her racing heart. She needed to make a decision, didn’t she? And who knows what kind of problems would face her, either way, she decided to go? It seemed like teasing to dangle this lux option in front of her just to draw it away. Draco annoyed her.

Looking at how strangely afraid of her he looked, she couldn’t help but notice how very much he started to look like the Draco she used to know. Little and arrogant and scarily afraid of his parents getting upset with him.

“You’re fine. I… I’m going to need some time.”

“That’s okay. You can take as much time as you need. The problem is, I have no idea when today my mother is going to pull you out for the publicist meeting.”

Y/N huffed slightly and covered her face. So, what was she going to do? What was she going to do?

“I’m in.” She’d set her mind to it, hadn’t she? She’d made a promise to the prince, and his parents knew of it already. She’d already told Pansy she was going for it. Well, all of those things and also the prospect of fulfilling a childhood princess fantasy seemed more enjoyable than anything. There was something so gratifying in that idea, dressing up well and being pampered and showered with affection and just… pretending to be a princess. What could be more fun than that?

“You’re sure?”

The answer was nothing.

“Yes.”

Most likely.

“Well, I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“So do I.”

***

It still hadn’t really sunk in yet that she was actually going to do whatever this would entail. Sure, she’d been dreaming about it the day before but it seemed completely different now. Her gut seemed to be calmer now, signifying that perhaps her intuition hadn’t been completely off guiding her in the direction it had.

What’s sad was Y/N was still lost about this after Narcissa had whisked her away into one of the palace’s many giant bedrooms. She was sitting on the bed, still in her work clothes, stressed after having had to explain to Colin how to decide how accommodations would be settled for the guests and the performers coming. She’d been expecting the meeting with the publicist and Draco to happen but she was lost as to what was taking place right now.

Narcissa approached her with a clipboard and a pen. “Now, dear, I just need you to sign these first.” Y/N took both from her and glossed through the texts.

A non-disclosure agreement and an employment contract…

“I’m sorry, your majesty. Do you mind me going through the documents before signing them?”

“Absolutely not, sweetheart. Though do try to rush, we have appointments we need to get to in time.”

“Thank you, ma’am. Honestly, ma’am, I’m not too aware of legal jargon like this. Could I please ask you to explain the purpose of this agreement?”

“Well, when any…”

She seemed to want to say a word but held it back, twisting her tongue around in her mouth as she thought of what to say.

“Person unfamiliar with our ancestry and our policies gets… involved with a member of the family, we have them sign one of these in order to protect our privacy.”

“I see…”

That seemed very… imperialist of them. She began to skim through the document, trying her best to understand it based on what little knowledge of this she had. It all seemed par for the course except for the last clause.

“I’m sorry again, ma’am. The others make sense to me but this one: 11. Covertness, it’s quite vague, the “other actor”…?.”

“To be transparent, the King and I posed the covertness clause as a protective measure. We don’t need Draco learning about this agreement and growing wary of all of us. We’re doing it to protect him more than anything. You are not to revert any of this portion of our meeting to him and he mustn't ever come to know of this agreement or the contract at all.”

The Queen suddenly seemed scarier than she ever had in all the years she’d known her.

“Well, that’s- I’ll have to think about that for a second.”

She started looking through the employment contract. It was similar to the one she currently held, nothing too special, except for the fact that it detailed that she was entitled to a lump sum of £200,000 at the end of the event, assuming she kept up her end of the agreement. She paused for a moment and just stared at that number.

“Is this a misprint by any chance, ma’am?” The Queen leaned over and looked at where she was pointing, then shook her head.

“No, it is not.”

She took a deep breath. That would be much more than enough to have her set for life and for a private event planning business alongside. It would take her 10 years to even come close to earning as much. She continued reading the document. She was supposed to participate in a few publicity stunts, make it clear “she had good intentions” and was supposed to disconnect from the prince entirely after the affair was over. Those terms didn’t sound too harsh, now, did they? A little acting and ghosting for 200 grand? It didn’t sound like much. Even a real big shot actor wouldn’t get paid half as much for such little work. And the part about her leaving the prince alone after was a little strange, but she supposed it made sense, what with the royals’ obsession with keeping their family all blue-blooded. Draco had been the poster child for that kind of thing growing up. And she likely didn’t have an ounce of it in her.

Why were they even that desperate anyway? This seemed huge. It might boost the prince’s reputation a bit but… what else was there to this? She knew the country was not doing the best in terms of international relations but did this really hold that much weight along those terms? Surely, there was something here she was missing. Regardless, 200,000 quid for a little work and a lot of fun was too amazing an offer to turn down. And so, Y/N signed both papers and handed them back to her. Jesus Christ, Draco’s impulsive decision was about to get her rich. Quick. She certainly hadn’t been expecting this.

She handed the clipboard back to the Queen who smiled and took it back quickly, setting the papers into a folder which she kept in a decorative paper bag. Not a bad hiding place at all. She walked outside for a few minutes, before reentering, followed by a squat old lady well-dressed in mauve and a younger woman wearing similar clothes. The Queen ushered towards either of them and began speaking.

“Madam Malkin and assistant, this is miss Y/L/N, the crown prince’s date to the coronation ball, miss Y/L/N, this is Madam Malkin, the family’s official stylist and designer, and her assistant.”

Y/N raised her hand out for her to shake, and she did so, firmly. “It’s so great to meet you, Madam.”

“Pleasure as well, love.”

She retracted her hand, looked over Y/N’s outfit and began whispering to her assistant.

“Well, to be very honest, I feel we don’t have to worry about my wardrobe as much. I know I probably don’t meet the royal standards but… I was planning on buying this really nice dress online anyway. I could show it to you and have you approve it if that would be fine.”

The Queen looked at her vacantly, her eyebrows raised and her nose pinched in the slightest. Then her expression settled and she exchanged a look with Madam Malkin before looking back at Y/N. Madam Malkin maintained an unamused expression, then began to speak.

“ I hope you know we’re not going to let you just wear a dress you bought online to the ball… We’ll tailor one for you. And your other clothes will be picked from contemporary designers ourselves.”

Y/N just looked at her silently, nodding and blinking slowly in assent.

***

An hour or so of Y/N having to change into various clothes behind a divider and then show them off to the pair of them passed quickly. It was very fun knowing she’d get a bunch of very nice clothes out of this (even custom made underwear so her clothes fit her right over them!), and she thought the royal family was really being very generous with all of this. Lots of money and clothes? There had to be some kind of catch, right? Something that would make this hard to keep up with? What was it? Just the stress of all the work that’d pile up? That didn’t seem like enough. Everything was not going the way she was anticipating. It was going a hell of a lot better. Mostly.

The actual meeting she’d been waiting for all morning was finally occurring. She was seated in a meeting room opposite the Queen and Draco and their publicist. It was weird seeing them like this. It seemed like a strange grown-up parent-teacher conference.

“So, our point is, we need to have you both make it clear to the public that there is a strong relationship between the two of you.”

The redheaded man droned on at the head of the table and Y/N looked over at Draco who glanced at her as well before both turning to look at the man.

“It’s Percy, right? I’m just a little… I’m sorry if I just don’t know my current affairs well enough for this but… why?” Y/N gulped, crossing her arms tightly after asking this question. It was quite bold of her for sure. She could only hope she wasn’t violating anything by asking this. “She’s not wrong.” Draco chimed in, ”You never had to do anything like this, mother.” The Queen smiled but shook her head. “Things just aren’t the same anymore, are they?” She looked over at Percy to continue.

“We now live in a world of social media and tabloids and none of that will work towards the image we need to create.”

Draco seemed to be satisfied with that and just looked at Y/N silently, who could only really do the same at this point. “I’m sorry, again, I… think I’m missing something here. What “image” are we trying to create?”

Percy and the Queen exchanged a long look, where she pursed her lips and shook her head somewhat disapprovingly. She then nodded and he began to speak.

“Miss Y/L/N, to be very frank, the kingdom isn’t doing amazing. In terms of international relations and funding and… most importantly, resources and trading. We’re afraid we’re losing allies and we cannot risk anything. We not only need to increase viewership and publicity of the ceremony and the ball, but we need to raise the reputation of the family and the prince in the public eye. It’s… a trend at King’s coronation balls for royals or other elite families to offer their daughters’ hands in marriage to the crown prince or king. Our prince is bent upon not getting into an arranged marriage and having to reject offers is a lot more publicly disgraceful than you might anticipate. As you might know, the country wasn’t even on speaking terms with one of its neighbours because centuries ago a crown prince rejected an offer for marriage and an alliance with them. We cannot risk having that happen when we’re in as dire straits as we are.”

Y/N could only look up at him with her mouth agape. They were serious. This was why it mattered so much to them. This was why she was being paid to do this. In case they offended an ally or just any other country. Because of the prince’s idealistic desires for romance or whatever it was. Although she couldn’t really fault him for that, his father hadn’t had to do the same and she’d heard the conditions for some of those alliances and the situations they landed themselves in the future were never that positive.

She nodded up at Percy. “I understand. I should probably read a bit more on the news and the family anyway. I tend to avoid it.” Percy barely seemed to notice her response and started to talk about strategies and actions that needed to be taken. The meeting ended with Draco and Y/N agreeing to keep up with their public profiles and maintain a good reputation on them. They were supposed to interact more publicly for the time being while Percy laid out more intricate publicity stunt plans.

As she left the room and started to walk back to her office, thinking about what work she had to do, someone tapped at her shoulder gently. She turned around to see the very same prince that had dragged her into this mess staring down at her.

“Again, I’m sorry.”

Him saying that like this made her feel guilty now.

“It’s- it’s really okay. You don’t have to say that.”

“I feel like I have to. You’re barely getting anything for doing this for us.”

“That’s- that’s not true. I’ll have my fun, won’t I?”

“Well, whatever it is, what I told you yesterday, the offer still stands. I’ll get you anything, I’ll buy you a mansion, whatever you like.”

“Not that I’d ever decline you giving me anything… you really don’t need to. Thank you for the offer, though.”

Y/N bit her lip and smiled up at him, waving him off as he made to leave, pretending like that was really the truth. She watched him as he walked to the other end of the hallway. She was going to have to keep up this lie all the way till the event. It definitely wasn’t going to be easy. She began to clench her jaw, setting a hand on the wall as everything rushed through her head.

This was exactly like Cinderella except she had no evil stepmother or fairy godmother or glass slipper or a prince charming on a quest to find her, just a lump sum, publicised PDA and more acting than she realised. And absolutely no way out of seeing the story through anymore.

a/n: there will be a hell of a lot more draco in the next chapters, stay tuned!

#draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy #draco #hp #draco imagine #draco malfoy imagine #hp imagine #au #prince au #royal au #prince draco #prince draco au #romance #draco malfoy series #draco x reader series #draco malfoy x reader series #drama

[footballfanfictions]

The thrill of the chase - Chapter Two

Pairings: Mason Mount/OC, Ben Chilwell/OC

Authors Note: Sorry that this has taken a little longer than anticipated and thank you so much for all the love for the first part.

--------------------------------------------------------------

One of the main drawbacks of working with social media, is that you are always on social media and you’re constantly bombarded with information and images that make you feel downright crap about yourself.

I’d been asked to take over the instagram page of one of the high profile players at the club and his entire feed was just one supermodel and influencer after the other with the odd footballer thrown in to balance it out. They were all so stunning that it truly made me feel awful about myself, how could it not? My salary was pretty good for a new graduate but not quite good enough for weekly manicures, lip fillers and hair extensions and my time management wouldn’t stretch for that either, I barely made my eyebrow wax appointments.

I was trying to avoid looking at the player’s DMs while I posted a few pictures from the pre-season training sessions to his feed, but the notifications pinging every few minutes was getting quite annoying.

Has it been Brianna with access to his account and not me, she would have gone straight to his messages to read them. I preferred to live in blissful ignorance to the sleazy ways of the men around me. I already felt like finding a good guy was absolutely hopeless.

I had been renting a flat and I was saving for a deposit to buy a house, hoping that by the time I had saved up enough to buy that I would have found the right person to live with. If I were to attempt this alone, with London house prices I would be around  60 by the time I had saved enough alone.

The message notifications continued to come in and whoever Sam was, she was really keen.

I logged out after posting the final image and prayed I wouldn’t have to go into it again. The less I knew about their private lives, the better. It would be pretty awkward to be sat in the staff and players’ family box at a game knowing that the wife of someone I knew was cheating was close by. Best to steer clear of those complications.

Brianna hadn’t visited my office at all and by 12 I was both worried and hungry and decided to go looking for her.

I tried the kit room first but it was empty and surprisingly tidy. Dave kept a tight ship and liked everything to be in its place but it wasn’t often possible with the sheer volume of kits that needed to be looked after.

As I backed out of the kit room and closed the door, I felt something hit me in the back.

“Sorry” mumbled the voice from behind me. “I was looking for Dave, I need a new top.”

I knew who it was but I didn’t really want to turn around and look at him.

“They’re not in there, I was just looking for him and Brianna too.” I responded in an emotionless tone, shrugging.

“Why are you being so weird?” he asked.

I turned to face him then and gave him a look of contempt before I answered him. “Maybe I just don’t enjoy spending time around footballers?”

“No offence love, but I think you might be in the wrong job if that is the case.” he put his hand on the door, next to my head where I was practically pinned against the door by how close he was to me. Only then did I realise that the training top that he was wearing was ripped, front he shoulder to his navel, the material hanging and exposing his toned chest and abs. I tried to look away but he had caught me looking and was now smirking.

“Maybe it’s just you that puts me off.” I shrugged as I ducked under his arm, escaping from my position between him and the door.

“You really don’t like me?” He huffed. “I don’t remember doing anything to offend you personally.”

“Maybe I’m offended that privileged young lads get money, fame and praise just for kicking a ball around a muddy field. Try something more impressive, like curing cancer or performing life saving surgery, ending world hunger, ending wars.” I groaned in frustration. Maybe that was the truth of it. Why should he get all the praise and admiration that he got, just for playing a sport? There were so many incredible people in the world doing, or working towards the things in that list that never got half the praise that Mason Mount did for kicking a ball.

He looked a bit dumb struck.

I went in again, “Maybe I don’t like you assuming that I should be into you, just because you’re Mason Mount, England and Chelsea midfielder. Maybe that’s what the girls in the club that throw themselves at your feet are into, but it’s not for me.”

I made to leave and he grabbed my hand and mumbled, “Sorry, I’ll leave you alone from now on.”

I didn’t respond. Just pulled my hand from his and stormed off towards the boot room, leaving him outside of the kit room in his ripped shirt.

“Fuck it smells like feet in here.” I complained, walking into the boot room with my nose pinched between my fingers in disgust.

“When I said that I liked shoes to dad, this is not what I meant.” Brianna laughed.

“What are you doing in here, I didn’t think boots were part of your job?” I asked, perching on one of the benches while Bri sat on the floor, sorting through a massive pile of boots to try and match up the pairs. They were in all sorts of bright colours and differing sizes. If I had to guess, I’d guess that she had been at her task for hours.

“Dad and the boot guy had some sort of emergency” she shrugged.

I laughed at that, wondering what kind of emergency you could have that involved kits and boots. Maybe they hadn’t ordered the right brand or something and one of the stars wasn’t going to get his cash from his boot deal if they didn’t find him the right pair.

There was a little tap on the sliding glass door that lead out onto the pitches and stood there was the guy from the other day that had held the door to the cafeteria open for us. He looked a little sheepish.

“Are you going to let him in?” I asked Bri, trying to unbury her from the pile of boots by throwing some of them into a pile, all of the orange ones in one corner, the yellow in another pile and pink in another and so on.

“Oh yeah.” she said, standing and brushing herself off, and adjusting her skirt that rode up her thighs slightly. The guy had noticed and I watched as he tried to look away and then down at his feet. At first I hadn’t thought that his shyness was that genuine. Footballers were all confident cocky little shits in my book, I’d never met one that was shy and unsure of himself.

Bri unlocked the door and let him in.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but only one of these fits” he said, holding up a pair of lime green boots and giving Bri an apologetic smile.

“Oh shit” she said, taking the pair from him and inspecting them. “I’ve given you one 10 and one 9.5.” she looked through the pile of lime green boots until she said “aha!” triumphantly brandishing another size 10 boot. “Here you go my love.”

That as just Bri’s way, she called everyone little pet names all the time, but he didn’t know that and he was blushing profusely and I was almost certain that his hands were shaking as he laced the boots up.

“Thank you so much.” he mumbled, looking like he was about to die of embarrassment. He turned to walk back out of the sliding door, but hadn’t realised that Bri had shut it behind him, so he ended up walking straight into the glass, hitting it with enough force to emmit a cracking noise from his nose which was suddenly streaming with blood.

I jumped up from my seat and crossed the room to him, avoiding the piles of boots the best that I could, not wanting to add myself to the casualty list.

I had an unused tissue in my pocket, that I took out and pressed to his nose. It was instantly bright red and the blood poured straight through it.

“Bri can you go and warn the medical room that we need to bring him down?” I asked.

She nodded in agreement and rushed out of the room.

I put my arm around his waist and guided him back over to the benches. He sat down and I slipped my cardigan off. It was a very thin material and already a deep shade of red. I didn’t let him protest as I replaced the tissue with my cardigan. It was the best that we had, and he looked like he was in a lot of pain.

“I’ve never seen anyone get that flustered before.” i laughed, sitting down beside him. He managed to give me a pained grin.

‘It’s Bri isn’t it? Is she why you were waiting by the canteen door the other day?” I asked gently, patting him reassuringly on the back. “I wanted to send her out of the room so that I could ask you, and also to reassure you that you shouldn’t be embarrassed about this. I’ve seen Bri do a lot more embarrassing things. She’s always falling over and hurting herself. You would make quite the pair.” I laughed.

He shook his head and mumbled “I can’t ask her out”.

“Why the hell not?” i scoffed.

“She has a boyfriend doesn’t she?” he shrugged, looking really sombre.

“Ah no, not anymore. Things are definitely over between her and that prick, and between you and me, if she ever gets back together with him, I’ll give her a matching broken nose.” I bumped shoulders with his, trying to cheer him up, just as Bri came back into the room and told us that the medical room were waiting for him.

“Can you come with me?” he asked, not talking to Bri, but to me instead.

“Sure, I would do anything to get out of work this afternoon. Our twitter page today is just full of fans that are disappointed that we didn’t use the Hazard money to sign Messi.” I laughed, getting up and guiding him towards the door.

“Can we catch up later?” I asked Bri before leaving the room, she nodded and told me she would be free all evening.

As we walked down the corridor I said to him “See, no plans to see a boyfriend” and he blushed again.

One of the medical assistants rushed out to meet us and guided him into the room exclaiming “Billy, what the hell? How have you done that?”

He shrugged, clearly feeling embarrassed about how he had injured himself. So when they looked over at me for clarification, I shrugged too.

Billy wasn’t the only player needing the use of the treatment room. As he sat down on one of the chairs, I noticed that Ben was in there too.

The medic went about dabbing Billy’s nose and he cried out in pain.

“Sorry about your cardigan.” he said, looking down at the red material on his lap. He didn’t need it now that he was getting patched up.

“Honestly don’t worry about it Billy.” I grinned.

The medic then mumbled something about needing something and left the room.

That gave Billy a bit more confidence to talk about what had happened.

“And thank you for the advice about your friend.” Billy seemed a bit happier as he said that, and I could see Ben out of the corner of my eye looking over at us as Billy spoke.

“Please tell me you’re going to ask her out!” Ben laughed.

I turned to look at him and smiled. “You know?”

Ben nodded and looked at Billy with a horrified expression “Oh god, you asked her out and she punched you.”

I shook my head. “Not exactly.” I said.

“The boyfriend was here for some reason, and he punched you?’ Ben went on, standing up and coming over to Billy. He walked with a slight limp.

He stood in between us.

“Why are you in here if you don’t mind me asking?” I looked down at his leg while asking the question.

“It’s my hamstring, nothing too serious.” He smiled.

“Don’t laugh at me when I tell you how I did this.” Billy warned, pointing at his nose. “I walked into a sliding glass door that I thought was open, all because she gave me a pair of boots and called me love.” he groaned, covering his face in embarrassment.

Ben laughed and clapped Billy on the back with his hand. “Oh mate, no wonder you’re embarrassed.” he then addressed me, asking “Just how cringy was it?”

I shook my head before answering him, “I honestly don’t think it was that bad. Bri is pretty oblivious sometimes and I don’t actually think she realised the real reason for you hurting yourself. So if you were to pluck up the courage to speak to her, I wouldn’t even bring it up.”

_________________________________________________________

The next day, I was looking out at the training pitches while I waited for the coffee machine to finish making my drink when there was a gentle tap on my door.

I crossed the room and opened it, expecting it to Bri or maybe even the club photographer giving me some new pictures of the squad to use, but it was Ben.

“Hi, are you free?” he asked, giving me one of his sweet smiles.

“Yeah come in.” I said, stepping back into my office and letting him pass me so that I could hold the door open.

“That coffee smells nice”. He remarked.

“Do you want one? Or did I put you off the other day?” I smiled.

“Ah no thanks, and no you didn’t put me off. I’ve never really liked the stuff. I like the smell of coffee, it just doesn’t taste as good as it smells.” as he spoke I realised that he was holding something in a plastic bag.

He realised that I was looking at it. “It’s your cardigan. I washed it for you at home. Think I got all the blood out but it’s red so I can’t really tell.”

I was for once, speechless. It was a small gesture but it was really kind all the same. I thought about making a witty remark about it actually being his mother or an employed cleaner that washed it for him but I just couldn’t bring myself to.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that. It’s only an old primark cardigan.” I said, taking the bag from him.

I suddenly felt a bit flustered in his company. He had that charming smile and didn’t really look like a cocky footballer to me. He didn’t act like one much either, he was just kind of like the guy next door, or the guy you would see on Tinder with a picture of him with his mates at the only photo on the profile so you couldn’t tell which one you were swiping for.

In all honesty, he kind of reminded me of my ex boyfriend Rory. He had the same sort of look, and they had similar accents. Maybe it was nostalgia that made me find being around Ben comforting.

‘I think your coffee is done.” he said, gesturing to the machine.

I nodded and walked over to the machine, taking the cup and adding some creamer and sugar. As I stirred the cup, he leant against my desk and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Something is bothering me if I’m honest.” he said.

“What is it?” I asked curiously.

“Mason said that you told him that you hate all footballers because we’re privileged and get too much clout for what we do.” He looked slightly disappointed in me. “Thing is, I don’t entirely disagree with you. Maybe we do get paid too much for what we do, and maybe doctors and nurses deserve way more praise than we do. I also don’t think that you hate all footballers. You were really kind to Blly yesterday and he won’t forget that in a hurry. You really helped him.” he continued.

“I don’t hate Billy, and I don’t think I hate you either.” I said quietly, taking a sip of my coffee.

“That is interesting.” he grinned, as he took one of my hands and guided me over to him, to stand in between his legs where he now sat on the edge of my desk.

Instinctively I put my coffee cup down and he put his arms around my waist.

“It’s interesting?-” he cut me off before I could say anything else, by pressing his lips against mine. The kiss is soft and gentle and lasts only a few seconds. He testing me and my brain is going in so many different directions. Am I actually going back on all of my principles and kissing a fucking footballer right now? And am I only doing it because he reminds me of my ex?

He moves to pull away, breaking the contact between our lips and I let out the tiniest whimper before putting my hand on the back of his head and pulling him back in for more. This time his tongue slips past my parted lips. My hand at the back of his head grips a generous handful of his hair and one of his hands makes its way to my bum.

My body feels like it is on fire. It has been a bloody long time since anyone kissed or touched me, and I hadn’t quite realised just how starved of affection I had been until I got a taste of it, a taste of him.

The telephone on my desk started to ring,and although I tried to ignore it, I just couldn’t. My job meant a lot to me and if it were Marina or someone of equal importance I would be chastised for missing the call.

We broke the kiss at the same time and I apologised to him. He grinned and fired back that I didn’t need to apologise and that he needed to get back to training, and by the time I picked up the phone, he was gone.

#mason mount #ben chilwell #billy gilmour #football fanfiction #football fanfic

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hey we talked earlier. I just wanted to send my request before I forget. Can you write a fluff piece where the reader has an emotional break down and Arthur comforts her? One day it gets to be too much. She screams and starts to cry. Arthur comforts her, helps her get a bath and cuddles in bed with her. Thanks so much ❤️

Hi, my love! Yes, I remember asking you to send this in to me so I didn’t accidentally forget about it - it’s so hard to keep track of DMs and I really appreciate you taking the time to send this in to me.  I’m really sorry that I wasn’t able to get this out to you in time, life has been... quite difficult lately and it’s gotten in the way of things I want to do. I hope you like this, darling, and that things get better for you!💚

TW; dissociative tendencies, general sadness, non-sexual nudity (Arthur gives you a bath), ONE reference to being suicidal right at the end of this piece (Arthur’s thoughts; canon). If you think that any of these warnings may negatively affect you in any way then please consider skipping this piece. Take care of yourselves, loves!

Word count: 2, 874. 

You could feel how close you were to breaking down. It was approaching you a little bit closer every single day and at this point, there was little to nothing which could be done to stop it from happening. You were too far gone and, if you were really being truthful with yourself, you didn’t want to even try to stop it from happening. What was the point? It would happen whether you wanted it to or not, such was the stage you had reached within yourself. You didn’t have the time to break down emotionally, but that was the difficult thing about feelings. They demanded to be felt and you could only wait it out and hope that the resulting destruction wasn’t the wrong kind of chaos.

You knew not when the oncoming storm would become the incoming storm, but you knew, somewhere deep inside your tormented soul, that it wouldn’t be long. You could feel yourself beginning to crack around your rough edges. You could feel the world becoming both too loud and yet too quiet. Everything was muted by the roaring of blood in your ears and yet heightened was it in sound by the pounding in your head, which only made you more susceptible to headaches caused by stress. When Arthur touched you, it was like electricity was crawling across the surface of your skin. You were hyper aware of every moment during which his arm brushed against you when he walked past you in the apartment; the touch both accidental but also something which Arthur needed so that he knew you were right there beside him. When someone spoke, it was too loud and yet too quiet. Whenever you had a moment to yourself, you became aware of how desperately you needed to cry, to scream out to the world about your pains.

You felt invisible...

... But not alone.

Never were you alone when you were with Arthur. You had known great loneliness in your life, and horrible bouts of isolation when situations and circumstances bigger than you had taken your loved ones away from you for who knew how long, but since the day you had met Arthur, a seemingly ordinary way which had witnessed the very birth of serendipity, you hadn’t ever felt truly alone. Even in your perceived invisibility were you seen by him, just as you were the only one to see him when he, too, thought himself to be invisible.If anyone understood what you were going through, it was Arthur. He, who had been so abused, neglected and mistreated in multiple ways across his three decades and some of life. He, who had been tried and tested, used up and left for dead. He... who held your battered heart in the palms of his weathered hands and desperately tried to help you with the strength of his death defying love for you. There was nothing which Arthur wouldn’t do for you, just as there was nothing which you wouldn’t do for him, and each and every day did the two of you prove this depth of love to the other person.

You were this close to breaking down emotionally. You both hoped that you were alone when the storm tailored to your experiences hit, and wished that Arthur was there to see it happen so that he could be there for you. All, if not most, of the old wives’ tales which you had been raised on had even a small amount of truth to them, and so you should have known to be careful what you wish for. 

In the end, all it took was for Arthur to look at you.

There was nothing... special about the look on his face. He just glanced over at you from where he was stood in the living room, his sea green eyes sought out your own and... you lost the fight. Your breath caught in your throat and you coughed a little, as if to clear your airways. But there was nothing to be cleared. Your breath caught again and your sharp inhale made Arthur’s gaze sharpen as he looked at you, as he really looked at you. He had known that something wasn’t right, he had known that you were suffering, but he also knew you well enough to know that he couldn’t push you to tell him. With patience and persistence and a great deal of worry had Arthur simply waited for the inevitable, just as you had. All at once did everything come crashing down and Arthur saw the precise second that your ceramic mask, the one you put on every day before you left the apartment, slipped off your face and shattered all over the floor into a thousand pieces. A scream had an ice cold grip around your tried heart and it clawed its way up to your throat, up, up. It was right on the tip of your tongue and you clamped a hand down over your mouth to muffle the desperate noise which escaped you.

Arthur’s dark brows were furrowed and almost touching, so deep was his concern for you, and he cooed in understanding. “Oh, Y/N,” Arthur opened his arms, ready to welcome you home. His tone was soft and his words were gentle. Arthur was everything you needed in this moment but his sympathy, as warm as summer, only made you feel worse, somehow. You took one step forward, and then another, and a paragraph from a page in Arthur’s journal which you had accidentally read once slipped into your mind just as you fell into Arthur’s arms. Step step step step step. “Come here, darling. I’m here. Not going anywhere.” You remained in Arthur’s arms for only a few moments, tears beginning to blur your vision. The urge to scream was still there, but you didn’t give into it. Instead, you found yourself wanting to cry. It was a more peaceful mode of self-expression and you tried to be casual in the way you swiped a hand over your face. But Arthur knew you like he knew the backs of his veiny, weathered hands, and he saw you. “Why don’t we get you a bath, hm?” You nodded, your breaths coming faster now, and quicker. Arthur shushed you gently and his thin lips, cool to the touch, pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your temple. 

You closed your eyes to fully enjoy and to take in Arthur’s gentle, tender affections, and the man cooed in sympathy once more as he walked with you to the bathroom. His steps were slow and measured and you thought that you picked up on his humming of Slap that Bass, though you were unsure due to how beautifully off-key Arthur was. Your own mind seemed far away and yet so close to you and through a television screen did you watch Arthur turn the taps, the tendons in his wrists so prominent as they seemed to almost protrude through his skin. Oh, how badly you wanted to press a kiss to his pulse point. To feel his heartbeat against your lips, to feel the most real proof of his existence right there. You wanted Arthur in the most emotionally intimate of ways and you knew that Arthur knew exactly how to give that to you. The bath filled quickly with water and you got yourself undressed. You were shy about your body, especially in front of Arthur, but you were too emotionally distraught to do much about it. The gentleness with which Arthur took care of you as he washed your hair only caused tears to come into your eyes and Arthur shushed you quietly. He meant not to tell you to be quiet, he meant not to tell you that you couldn’t cry, but he was meaning to tell you that he was there with you. That it was his deft fingers in your hair as he used the right amount of each of your products. Somehow did he know that you liked to leave your conditioner in while you washed yourself over to give it time to work with your hair, and Arthur kept you focused on him and on his actions. He refused to let you sink deep inside yourself, knowing was he that what you needed right now was some tender loving care.

You needed him and Arthur felt a secret thrill run up his back. He loved how much you needed him and, truth be told, he needed you just as much. Soon were you physically taken care of and Arthur helped you up and out of the bath, wrapping his best towel around you. It only had two holes in it. He felt a stab of guilt that he didn’t have any towels which weren’t falling apart at the literal seams, but he reminded himself that you wanted him for all that he was and all that he would ever be, and the love which swelled in his frail chest at the thought brought a smile to his face. 

Love.

“What do you want, Y/N? Dinner or cuddles?” Arthur’s quiet, soft rasp broke through your silent reverie, shattering it much like your carefully applied mask every morning had broken when you had finally laid eyes on your Arthur less than an hour ago. How time flew when you were with him. 

“’M not hungry, Arthur,” You dashed a hand over your face and roughly dried yourself off. Arthur frowned in disapproval. Didn’t you have any patience with yourself? He wondered how you could treat yourself so awfully but be so tender with him, but he knew the answer already, for he did the very same thing. “Can’t we just go to bed? Please?”

Oh, help him. Arthur cupped your face in his cool hands and used the calloused pads of his thumbs to wipe your tears away. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you bit back a sob. Fuck, you loved him. He was always so good to you. You could only hope that you were just as good to him. He deserved nothing less. “Yeah,” Arthur nodded, granting you what you wanted easily. It was only early evening, not yet nine, but he was exhausted, too, and all he wanted was to climb into bed and cuddle you until the world melted away and all he knew was the two of you. On this night were your wants and needs aligned. “We can do that.” Anything for you, sweetheart. Arthur choked on his next words and so he was unable to finish his sentence, but you heard them anyway. You would always hear Arthur, just as he would always hear you.

Arthur headed out into the living room, subtly leaving you to get dressed into the clothes you preferred to sleep in while he cleaned up the mostly tidy apartment. The man of the house took care of messes, he never created them. Dirty plates were piled in the sink to be washed tomorrow. Overflowing ashtrays were emptied and the ashes which were spilled over were deftly swept into his hand and put into the rubbish bin which sat underneath the coffee table. Everything was taken care of with hasty movements, rushing was Arthur to be with you, his one and only who understood him. After he was done, Arthur retreated back into the bedroom and the door shut behind him with a quiet but firm click. You could wholly let go, now. It wasn’t that you couldn’t have let go before, but there was something about cuddling in bed with Arthur, your nightly ritual and your most favourite tradition, that made it easier for you to be your entire self.  Lying in bed were you, the duvet pulled up to your chin and Arthur’s side of the bed was pulled back. You were waiting for him. You teared up again at that thought, so sensitive were you in this moment that the smallest of things were setting you off. You had been waiting for Arthur for your entire life, it seemed. No one comforted you like Arthur did. No one made you laugh like Arthur did. No one soothed you, encouraged or supported you like Arthur did. No one motivated you like Arthur did. No one was there for you like Arthur was. You had been waiting for him for your entire life. Arthur had been waiting for you, as well. The both of you had been so alone without each other, but now did you have everything you had ever needed or craved within another person, and never again would either of you be alone.

Arthur cooed to see you curled up so cosily in bed, to see that you had pulled back the duvet for him, so considerate were you, and to see you crying. “Come here, Y/N. I’m here.” He crossed the room in a few easy strides and slid easily beneath the duvet, pulling you towards him. He was rarely this confident in his movements, but you needed him and that worked miracles on the things Arthur could do. He knew exactly how to comfort you, intuitive and perceptive was he, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for you. “Not going anywhere.” Those same words had been spoken earlier that evening and you curled in on Arthur, your tears flowing freely now as they poured, hot and fast down your face. You choked on another scream and Arthur rested his head on the pillow beside you, his mahogany curls mingling with your own hair as every part of your bodies intertwined. You pressed yourself into Arthur and he hummed in thought, letting you arrange yourself as you wanted to before he got comfortable, too. The both of you were settling in for the night, now. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I get it...” Arthur sighed. The sound was heavy in untold truths and even in your own distress did you feel your heart breaking for him. “It’s hard. I know.” Arthur’s nose, cool to the touch - always so cold was he, warm was his soul - nuzzled against your cheek and you pushed into his touch, trying to shuffle even closer to him even though you were already pressed together. Arthur chuckled and rained kisses down upon your face, his lips drying out your damp, tear stained cheeks. 

You nodded, clamping your lips together so that you couldn’t scream or cry. You weren’t sure what was building in your throat but you knew that it would be a loud noise. You just wanted to sleep now. You just wanted Arthur.

“I want you, Arthur. So much.” Your bottom lip trembled, still so overwhelmed were you, and Arthur could only love you more. You were always so honest in your feelings for him and it was something he had always admired within you.

Another coo, another kiss, and his arms squeezed around you. “You’ve got me, Y/N. Always. Won’t let go, okay?” His voice was quiet, his words full of a future you had always dreamed of, and his tone was kind. He was your everything and that had never been and would never be any different.

“Promise?” Your voice was so small, defeated but not defeated were you by the world, and Arthur felt his heart break. What had the world done to you? Bitterly did he know that it had done the same to him, and though he was already falling, too late was it for him, it wasn’t too late for you and he would be damned if he took you down with him.

“I promise. You’re my one and only. I’ll do anything for you.” A Joker though he would one day be, that was a vow which he would take seriously.

You shut your eyes, nuzzling into Arthur, and he only managed to hold you tighter despite how physically and emotionally close you were together. “Thank you for taking care of me, angel. It means a lot to me. No one’s ever...” More tears soaked into Arthur’s bare chest and you kissed the evidence of your own pain away from his skin. “No one but you.” Was all you could stomach to say. You had had enough now and you just wanted to sleep.

Arthur nodded knowingly. He always knew what you were trying to say, even and especially when you didn’t. “You’re welcome, darling. I love you. So much.” With another kiss, a tender squeeze and a gentle smile, Arthur helped you to put your mind to rest as finally, finally... did you sleep. He wouldn’t sleep much this night, haunted by insomnia and nightmares was he, but with you beside him did he think that perhaps he, too, would get some rest. You were his one and only, his reason and his purpose and the one reason he didn’t cash in on his refund for life itself, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for you.

You were his Y/N, and he would always take good care of you, just as you always took care of him. It was what you deserved and Arthur was beginning to think, thanks to your reverent love, that so did he.

AF/J @impulsiveclown   @astheworlddturns @fluffedstar @jokersqueenofchaos @germansarechill @tsukiakarinobara  @lynnesm @sagyunaro  @greghouse  @flowerglitterwoman @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokers-doll @arthurjokersgirl @antonija89 @lilliryth @hotpacino @obsessedandthirsty  @call-me-harley-quinn  @cacklinghyena @arcanealaanais

#nonnie #requests closed #arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck x you #arthur fleck x y/n #joker #joker x reader #joker imagine #joker x you #joker x y/n #joker 2019 #joker 2019 imagine #joker 2019 x reader #joaquin phoenix #Joaquin phoenix joker #joaquin phoenix x reader #joaquin phoenix imagine #joaquin pheonix joker #phoenix!joker #phoenix!joker x reader #phoenix!joker imagine

[flyingkiki]

How to slide into DMs

Oh boy. This is the longest one-shot I have ever written. Would have wanted to break this up into chapters but eventually decided not to and just gave it my all. This is a story best consumed whole - all 85k+ characters of it.

I had the best time writing this.

~~~

Raven knew that drinking one margarita too many was a recipe for disaster. And as she would later reflect on the turn of events, Raven knew she was partly to blame for the disaster that would unfold thanks to all the alcohol. But right now, it was Karen’s birthday and it was rare for the girls to come together – unless the world was just about to explode and end. So, Karen demanded that they celebrate in style.

And drink Raven did.

So here they were, a couple of superheroines dressed in skimpy bikinis on a yacht far out from Jump City’s bay (how Jinx even got one was beyond her), drinking frozen margaritas, mojitos, and tequila shots. They looked like an image straight from every young teenage boy’s (or hot blooded adult, really) wet dream – superheroines in skimpy bikinis lounging around on the boat, draped over beanbags and recliner chairs, and sliding ice cubes between the valleys of their breasts trying to fight off the sweltering heat.

Some Ke$ha was playing in the background, thanks to Starfire – who had Jinx to thank for her latest music genre obsession.

Raven cracked an eye open as Jinx passed by her and plucked her empty margarita glass out of her hand. A frosty glass quickly slipped into her hand she eyed the frozen drink with a slight frown.

“Live a little, Raven,” Jinx winked and adjusted the straps of her strappy black bikini before plopping down into the cushions next to Karen. Her mojito dangerously sloshed around in its glass because of her jerky movements.

“Exactly,” Raven sat up and took a sip from the deliciously cold alcoholic beverage and found some relief from the sweltering heat. She wondered if it would be best to just dump the whole frozen margarita over her head. “I want to live.  And not die because of liver failure,”

“Pish-posh,” Karen took a healthy swig of her margarita. “We metabolize this shit faster than we drink it. Hit me up, Jinx,”

Raven was impressed that Karen still knew what metabolize meant as she watched the curly haired woman dump half of her margarita down her bikini top. “Of course we do,” she said.

Starfire ambled back onto the deck with a pitcher of frozen margarita and mojito in both of her hands. Karen and Jinx cheered at the sight of more alcohol and Kori clumsily set out to top everyone up again. Raven eyed her drink absently wondering if Kori snuck in a shot of mustard into their drinks.

“So, Kill, Fuck, Marry,”

Raven cringed. Leave it to Jinx to come up with the crudest games. Karen howled and Kori leaned forward curiously, obviously already familiar with the game. Jinx grinned widely as she eyed the girls.

“Oliver Queen, Barry Allen, Bruce Wayne,”

Raven made a face and Karen cheered while Jinx chuckled lecherously. Kori looked as she was genuinely mulling her answers before downing her margarita and taking a generous sip out of a mustard bottle. Raven felt her stomach roll. “I shall go first!” Kori announced.

“Marry Bruce Wayne, Fuck Oliver Queen, and Kill Barry Allen,” announced Kori while filling her margarita glass to the brim.

Karen made a face. “You’d marry your future Father-in-Law?”

Kori shrugged and sipped her mustard-laced margarita. “Better than sleeping with him, right?”

“Huh, that makes sense,” Karen shrugged.  “Okay. I’ll Fuck Bruce Wayne, Marry Barry, and Kill Oliver,”

Three sets of eyes curiously turned to Raven. Jinx leaned forward and grinned mischievously. “C’mon, Raven,”

Raven rolled her eyes and thought of her options. “Fine,” she huffed and downed the rest of her margarita. If they were all getting drunk, she might as well join the party. “Fuck Oliver, Marry Barry, and Kill Bruce – sorry, Star,”

Kori was now lounging on her side across some throw pillows that made her boobs stick up more. Waving her hand that she honestly did not care, Kori continued to listen in on the conversation and drank her poison of choice.

“Still not a fan of the Bat?” Karen whistled. They knew about Raven’s history and how originally Batman had been apprehensive of her and her origin.

Raven rolled her eyes and had her powers top up her margarita glass. “Oh, I’m over that,” she shrugged and leaned back in her recliner. “I don’t think I can handle Bruce’s brooding and secrecy. I got enough of that already,” Raven said. She quirked and eyebrow at Karen. “Besides, have you seen Oliver Queen?”

Karen rolled her eyes. “Have you seen Bruce Wayne?” She clumsily threw both of her hands up in the air and drew them out, dousing Jinx in some of her margarita. “Those broad shoulders!” Kori hummed loudly in agreement.

Jinx looked incredulous. “What’s wrong with all of you?” she all but gasped. “I’d Fuck Barry Allen in a heartbeat – hello, The Flash! His body vibrates!”

Raven raised of her eyebrows at the thought and they all shared a brief look. Karen leaned forward and placed her chin into her hand. “Well, Raven and I are marrying him, so he can vibrate for us all day, every day,”

Crossing her legs, Raven had to agree with that logic. She raised her glass in agreement. Kori looked thoughtful and tilted her head towards Jinx. “Perhaps I should change my answers,”

Karen laughed. “No take backs,”

“Okay, this one,” Jinx nursed her mojito. “Cyborg, Nightwing, Changeling,”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Kill Changeling, Marry Cyborg, Fuck Nightwing.” She shrugged. “Easy. Sorry, Kori, Karen,”

Karen waved her hand dismissively. “Same answer, easy.”

“Marry Nightwing,” Kori smiled at the thought but then paused as she mulled over the other two. “Perhaps Fuck Cyborg, Kill Changeling,”

Jinx looked exasperated at the girls. “Really? Have none of you seen Gar lately?”

Raven threw her a withering glare. “If you’re going to say anything about his transformations and sex will push you off this boat and drown you.”

Jinx rolled her eyes and waved her hand with her mojito glass. The mojito sloshed around and spilled over her leg. “When did Gar get an those chiseled abs?! Delicious. That’s all I’m saying.”

Raven wrinkled her nose. “Eh.”

“Oh, I know,” Kori sat up and helped herself to some more margarita from the pitcher. Karen watched in disdain as she added a splash of mustard to hers. “Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Richard Grayson,”

“Duh.” Jinx said. “Fuck Jason Todd,” she paused to take a sip from her drink. “Eh – I guess Marry Richard, and Kill Tim,”

“I’d go for Fuck Richard,” Karen turned to Kori and sent her an apologetic grin. “I’m sorry Kori, but that ass,” to which Kori gave her a drunken thumbs up sign. “Marry Jason, Kill Tim. Same logic – Marry Jason for those thighs,”

Raven was starting to feel the buzz of the margaritas on her brain. She had to agree that all the Robins were good looking. “Fuck Jason, Marry Tim,” It seemed that they owed a lot of apologies to Starfire. “Sorry Kori, Kill Richard,” Dick had gotten on her nerves lately with his complaints over their training drills. Might as well hypothetically kill him and fuck and marry his brothers so he could roll in his grave.

“You know while it's totally fun to objectify the men ones in a while and talk about who we want to sleep with, Imma go for a pee break. Hold on for one second. Keep those thoughts of Dick’s ass and Jason’s thighs on your dirty little minds, ladies,” Jinx stood up and stumbled away.

“You better not jump into the ocean and pee,” Karen called her out with an amused laugh, to which the pink head raised her hand and sent her the middle finger.

Raven rolled her eyes in exasperation. Eyeing the empty pitchers of margaritas and mojitos, she wondered if she should offer to go and make another round. Jinx had made sure to stock enough of alcohol to light a bonfire – or at the very least light the whole yacht on fire.

Realizing that Kori was rendered useless right now as she lay sprawled over the pillows and it would be rude to have the birthday girl prepare her own drinks, Raven sighed and grabbed the two empty pitchers. She was surprised how fast they went through their drinks.

“I’ll make us something more to drink since we’re drinking this like water,” Rave announced and walked towards the minibar.

Karen smiled up at Raven. “Thanks, Raven,”

Raven threw Karen a rare smile. “You’re lucky it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday, Karen,”

“I’m back, what did I miss?” Jinx appeared from below deck and she rejoined the group. Seeing how Raven was busy with their drinks, she grabbed Karen and Kori and pulled them up. “C’mon, let’s take some photos. We need to put these sexy bikinis to use,”

Kori giggled. “For the ‘graham, yes?”

“For the ‘Gram, Kori. For the ‘Gram,” Karen grinned.

Pushing them towards the boat’s railings, Jinx grinned. “You can send some photos to Dick, Kori. I’m sure he’ll appreciate them,” She wiggled her pink eyebrows. “Get the blood flowing,”

Karen rolled her eyes. “And here I was thinking you can’t get any cruder,”

Kori gamely handed Jinx her phone. “I believe Dick would like them,”

“Of course Dick would,” Jinx grinned and winked before telling Kori where to stand and how to pose.

Raven joined them with their drinks levitating behind her. Handing Karen her drink, she eyed Jinx and Kori in amusement. “Please don’t tell me we’re having a photoshoot,”

Karen tilted her head and tried to ignore Jinx’s instructions to Kori (“Those bewbs look awesome, Kori!”). She gave Raven a small laugh and took a sip of her margarita. “More like take photos for your boyfriend shoot,”

“Photos for Dick!” Kori chirped, happily slurping her mustard-laced margarita and cocking her hips to the side as she leaned against the railing.

“Photos for the dick!” Jinx grinned, throwing the two exasperated girls a dirty grin. “What? Like you never sent dirty photos to your boyfriends.”

Karen downed her drink in one go. “Not saying anything,”

Jinx stopped snapping photos of her and Kori and threw a wide grin at the retreating birthday girl, watching her get another drink. “I knew it!”

Karen returned with a particularly full margarita glass. She eyed the amused Jinx in exasperation. “I’m just saying if that’s what you and your partner do in private, that’s fine. No need to make a big deal out of it,”

Jinx waived her mojito around in agreement. “Exactly. We’re all adults here, right?” She pointedly ignored Raven’s raised eyebrow at her. “If we wanna spice up our relationships with sexy photos that get panties wet and boxers tented, then we can do so. What we do in our private lives is our business. No judgement,”

Raven made a face, looking scandalized. Leaning against the yacht’s window, she eyed the pink-head. “And then they get leaked,”

“If he leaks them, we magic their dicks into pickles,” Jinx shrugs nonchalantly.

Karen hoists herself up onto the railing, and expertly balances herself on the silver railing despite the number of margaritas she just downed. Her curly black hair whips around her as a gentle hot breeze brushes over them. “Sexy photos shouldn’t be the be all and end all of a relationship. But if you mutually want to show your junk to each other on photo and videos, there better be a lot of respect in that relationship and no pressure,” she said before taking a healthy drag from her drink.

“Like, if that’s how you want to improve your sex life, go for it,” Jinx shrugged and took Karen’s phone to take a few photos of her on the railing.

“Richard sends pics of the dick,” Kori suddenly announced, casually leaning against the railing and sipping her margarita. “They’re very exciting,”

Jinx laughed loudly, delighted at the revelation. “I bet they are,”

Raven shuddered. “Thanks for that mental image, Kori.” The idea of Richard taking photos of his crotch was not a pleasing thought. Raven downed her drink in one gulp. She was not too drunk for this.

“You’re welcome,” Kori chirped.

Jinx chuckled and stumbled past Raven. Refilling everyone’s drinks with her magic, she gabbed Raven’s phone and pulled out the camera app. “C’mon, Rae. Let’s take some photos of you,”

Raven frowned. “No,”

Completely ignoring Raven, Jinx grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the railing. She nearly knocked off Karen, who in turn drunkenly laughed and barely caught her balance. “Stand there, for the love of god, try to look sexy so we can post something on your painfully boring Instagram account,” instructed Jinx.

Raven frowned, taking offense. “My Instagram is not boring,”

Karen frowned and looked up from scrolling through her phone. “Girl, your last post was literally just a picture of a cup of tea,”

Raven glared and tried to ignore as Jinx took a couple of photos of her. Leaning against the railing, she took a long drink from her margarita glass. “I don’t see the point –”

“Point, shmoint,” Jinx waved her off. “Point is your hot. Hotter than your lousy, boring cup of tea that only got,” she looked over Karen’s shoulder and sent Raven a look of disdain. “Four likes – two of those are pity likes from Kori and Victor. Live a little, put that scandalously bikini-clad body on your Instagram because @RachelRoth needs to spice up the lives of your,” she paused again to look over Karen’s shoulder at Raven’s depressing Instagram account and her face fell a little. “24 followers. Seriously, 24, Rae?”

Crossing her arms under her breasts, Raven sent them a look of annoyance. “Who would I possibly add outside of our circle of friends?”

“I have over 600,000 followers on Instagram,” commented Kori, looking over Karen’s shoulder eyeing Raven’s social media account.

Karen grinned. “Of course you do, Hun. When you’re the fiancé of Richard Grayson, everyone wants to know what you guys are doing,”

Jinx furiously tapped on Raven’s phone. “Your online presence is depressing,” She gave her a pointed look. “You don’t even use dating apps,”

Raven looked incredulous. “Why would I use dating apps?” She downed her margarita and went for another one. “Do you have any idea what our jobs are like?”

“Girl, even your DMs are boring,” Karen looked utterly disappointed. Jinx, Kori, and Karen ignored Raven’s complaints and moved back to the lounge area, bending over Raven’s phone.

“Oh sure, go through my private messages.” Raven joined them and grabbed the pitcher of margarita. When had it become “Humiliate Raven Day” when it was actually Karen’s birthday? God, she needed more drinks

“It’s not like you’re sexting anyone,” Jinx rolled her eyes. “Have you not heard of sliding into someone’s DMs?” With the hand holding mojito glass, Jinx pointed an accusing finger at Raven. “This is why you are single.”

Raven threw her hands up in the air, sighing loudly. She staggered to her feet and grabbed both unsurprisingly empty pitchers. “You know, fine, whatever,” Raven, as she would later reflect on the turn of events, would realize this is where her mistake truly began. “Fuck it. Do whatever you want. Your yapping is annoying. I’ll go get us drinks.”

Jinx let out a little squeal and all three girls ducked over Raven’s phone. Jinx furiously typed on Raven’s phone and the three women shared a short laugh. Somewhere, in her lime margarita addled mind, Raven knew that this was a huge mistake. But she’d take care of her mistakes later, like the responsible drunk that she was.

After a few minutes of mixing drinks and making sure that she had refilled Kori’s disgusting bottle of mustard, Raven ambled back with the ice cold pitches and mustard bottle, and deposited everything on the glass table in the middle. Draping herself over a few lounge pillows, she eyed the amused ladies in front of her in disdain. “Give me back my phone,”  

Jinx offered her a lecherous grin and tossed Raven her phone back. Thanks to her drunk reflexes, it slipped out of her hand and landed on her breasts before falling into her lap. “You’ll have to thank us,”

Raven grabbed her phone and quickly looked through her apps. “You better not have signed me up on Tinder,”

Her phone pinged a couple of times and Raven eyed her phone apprehensively. “What did you do?”

Jinx waived her hand as Kori and Karen giggled. “Nothing to get your panties bunched up,”

Her phone’s notifications went off a couple more times and Raven frowned. Ignoring the girls as they made plans to take a quick swim – which was also a recipe for disaster considering how drunk they were -  Raven focused on her phone and the notifications that kept on popping up.

Frowning, Raven opened up her Instagram and eyed the notification for new messages. Feeling a headache coming along – and not because of the margaritas she had downed – she opened up her DMs and her frown deepened.

“Why hello there,” @ImAliveJTodd sent her a reply. Raven warily eyed the wink, volcano, eggplant, and water droplets emojis.

She was torn between crushing her phone in her hand or screaming bloody murder at Jinx. “Fuck you, Jinx,” she said loudly, which she assumed the pink haired woman in question heard when Raven heard a faint cackle in the distance and a loud splash.

Jinx sent a photo of Raven in her black skimpy bikini to Jason Todd and what she could only guess a couple of other people in her friends list. Raven felt her head throb as she eyed the photo Jinx took of her. She wasn’t looking directly at the camera, probably at Karen, holding her margarita glass with her right hand and her hips leaning against the boat’s railings. The blue ocean behind her was a beautiful backdrop and somehow seemed to highlight her pale skin and bounce around her full curves. Raven wasn’t ashamed of her body, and she had to admit that it was a really nice picture, but she was not thrilled to have her photo so widely circulated. An innocent “Hey there” with a wink emoji accompanied the picture.

Growling as Jason sent her a string of emojis with some more volcano and eggplant emojis, she promptly sent him a message to fuck off and quickly deleted the conversation.

“Fucking Jinx,” mumbled Raven as she ignored the latest emojis Jason sent her. An eggplant and peach. And promptly blocked him.

Ignoring @GarTheBeast’s “Dude!” (with a fire emoji) and @VStone’s “Put some clothes on!”, Raven promptly replied to @RoyHarper’s GIF of a cartoon wolf whistling with a GIF of cartoon monster biting a man’s head off. Jinx had sent the photo to Garth, who had yet to reply. @WallyW sent her a couple of fire emojis, which she basically just ignored.

She event sent one to @BruceWayne. Fucking Bruce Wayne. Thankfully, he had not yet seen the message and Raven hastily deleted the picture. She was going to kill Jinx.

@ClarkKent had seen the image. Totally mortified, Raven quickly sent a brief apology and explanation to Superman.

“How many margaritas did you have?” @RGrayson sent her a reply.

Raven rolled her eyes. “Just enough for me to murder Jinx in a drunken haze.”

“Make sure to dump the body further out at sea since you’re already out there. Good luck.” @RGrayson sent her a thumbs up emoji. After a few minutes he quickly sent a follow up message. “Though, seriously. Don’t.”

Sighing loudly, Raven eyed her phone in disdain. Sliding into someone’s DM’s was too much work. She decided to block Speedy after he sent he a string of annoying GIFs. Eyeing her notifications, Raven discovered that Jinx had also posted her photo on her Instagram account. Her bikini-clad body stood out from all her admittedly boring content of coffee mugs and books.

As Raven’s phone vibrated ones more, she was just about ready to throw it into the ocean and hopefully hit Jinx over the head with it.

“Uhm, hi?” @TimDrake replied.

Raven groaned. Did Jinx send her picture to all the Bat Family members? Ready to just give Tim a piece of her mind, Raven furiously began to type a long essay that basically told him to piss off.

“Did somebody hack into Rachel’s account?” @TimDrake sent another message. At least Tim was smart enough to use her alias.

Raven paused and blinked, her finger hovering over the send button. Deleting her intended reply, she quickly sent her answer. “Hi. This is Raven. Jinx hijacked my phone. There might be murder later.”

“Oh. Well, good luck with that.” Tim replied.

“Hah.” Raven leaned back into the plush recliner. She stared at the screen as Tim seemed to work on an answer.

“Hide the evidence.”

“We never had this conversation.” Raven replied.

“Right. Never.” Emoji with lips zipped shut.

Raven felt her lips curl just a little bit as relief swept over her. Finally, someone sensible in this shitstorm. “Thanks.”

Raven dropped her phone onto her lap and took a hearty swig from her margarita. She was already drunk anyway – what was the point of slowing down now. In the distance she heard loud splashing and giggles from Kori and curses from Jinx. Raven silently hoped Kori somehow managed to drown Jinx. Eyeing the ocean from her spot under the shade, Raven decided not to join them.

Feeling herself relax just a little bit as the yacht rocked with the waves and the sounds of the ocean gently wrapped around her, Raven leaned back into the ridiculously comfortable recliner chair. Hearing the shrieks of laughter from her friends in the background, Raven bristled slightly at how Jinx thought she was boring. She ignored her phone as it vibrated against her sweaty thigh. So what if she liked posting tea cups and books on her social media feed.  Her margarita filled brain told her she could do exciting.

Picking up her phone, she ignored Jason’s text message (“Did you block me? Lol. Unblock me, Rae!”) and looked surprised as she got another message from Tim.

Opening up her DMs, she felt her lips curl lightly as she stared down at the image of a huge swimming pool surrounded by a lush garden she guessed found at the Wayne manor. “Not as amazing as the view you have there, but this ought to do.” The text below the picture read.

Taping her finger thoughtfully against her phone, Raven contemplated if she should send Tim a reply. Deciding that she really shouldn’t think too much about it, Raven took a photo of the lounge area in front of her, catching the nose of the yacht, the pitchers of drinks, colorful lounge chairs and pillows, and her right ankle and newly pedicured toes into the frame.

“That’s a lot of drinks!” replied Tim.

“It’s Karen’s birthday. Jinx has been plying us with alcohol.”

“Sounds like fun,” Raven snored at the GIF of drunk girls.

“Until one drunk girl drowns.” Raven replied. “May or may not be Jinx.”

Tim sent her a photo of a cold beer bottle he held up in front of the camera. “We live for danger. Cheers!”

Taking a photo of her own margarita glass, Raven sent it to Tim. “Cheers.”

She had met Tim a several times and among all the Robins she had met, he was perhaps the one of the most pleasant Robins to talk to. Except of course for Richard, with whom she still shared a special bond with. Jason was an explosion of emotions, and Damian still had so much to learn (and had such intense emotions for a 10-year-old). Tim was a welcome calm presence whenever they met and she truly enjoyed talking to him.

And, while this maybe the margarita talking, she honestly enjoyed the gentle press of interest she felt from Tim over the last couple of months they met on occasion. Raven took a long swig of her margarita, downing it, and she thought of Tim. As much as Jinx would like to tease her, she wasn’t blind and stupid as much – she knew what the gentle prod of emotions meant. And she actually enjoyed it.

Raven eyed the half empty pitcher of margarita in disdain, cursing at how open she felt. Fucking alcohol.

Her phone pinged and buzzed against her leg. Placing her empty margarita glass clumsily on the side table next to her, she picked up her phone and opened her DMs. And openly stared at the image of a smiling Tim Drake in the ridiculously huge Wayne pool, head and torso wet and leaning over the pool’s ledge. His muscular arm was folded over the ledge with this chin propped over it while his other arm was stretched out to take the photo. His long hair fell into his bright blue eyes and Raven’s lips pursed as the thought of wanting to push some of his hair out of his face crossed her mind.

“Time for a swim!”

Raven contemplated over what she should reply – and if she should reply at all. She eyed the photo a bit longer than she should have, taking in whatever defined muscle she could see. It was ridiculous how all the Wayne kids looked like magazine models.

“Enjoy!” she replied. She heard the girls’ drunken laughter in the distance and wondered if she should join them.

Her phone vibrated in her hand again and she stared at the profile picture of a smiling Tim Drake in a plain polo shirt. “Won’t you go swimming?”

There was a splash in the background and a shriek. Raven wasn’t all too sure if she wanted in on the drunken swimming. “Maybe later.”

“Okay. I’ll do a few laps for now. Enjoy your day, Rae.”

Raven locked her phone and placed it on the table in front of her. She heard a couple more splashes and shrieks in the background. Eyeing her phone momentarily and her thoughts slipped to Tim Drake in the Wayne Manor Olympic-sized swimming pool. Feeling a bit warm, and Raven honestly blamed the heat, she stood up and decided to go for a swim. Perhaps that would help her cool down a bit.

“Get a lot of DMs?” Jinx grinned wildly after Raven gracefully slipped into the water joined them in the water.

Raven swam over them and sent them a withering glare. “You sent Bruce Wayne my photo!”

“I’m sure he likes younger women,” Jinx shrugged nonchalantly.

Karen laughed. “I’m sure he does.”

Raven gave them a nasty look as if they were crazy. “You’re out of your minds.”

“Well, you obviously took your sweet time, so I’m guessing you got busy sending out replies.” Jinx wiggled her eyebrows.

Kori giggled in the background. “Who did you slide into, Friend Raven?” she asked.

“Slide into his DMs, Kori! Damn it. I did not slide into anyone!” Raven sent an exasperated look at an amused Kori.

“But someone might be sliding into Raven soon,” Jinx laughed.

Raven groaned and splashed a cackling Jinx with some water. “Jinx, stop it!”

Karen swam closer and laughed, narrowly avoiding a splash from Jinx. “But seriously, girl. Don’t leave us hanging. Did anyone reply to the messages we sent out?”

“Jason sent a string of eggplant emojis, if that’s what you’re asking,” Raven looked extremely annoyed as she swam in the warm water. Jinx and Karen laughed loudly.

“Eggplant emojis? Did he send you dick pics?” Kori sent her a look of surprise.

Raven looked scandalized. “Damn it, no, Kori! I thought we updated you on pop culture already,”

Jinx sent Kori a sly look. “Eggplants are dicks. But dick pics are dick pics, which you, sexy mama, are getting a lot of,”

Kori nodded. “I am,”

“Can we not talk about Richard’s penis?” Raven deadpanned.

Karen laughed and her sparkling brown eyes focused on an annoyed Raven. “Anyone else reply?”

“Roy sent a couple of GIFs and Wally a few fire emojis,” Raven rolled her eyes. “Apparently grown men cannot use words,”

Karen chuckled. “You’re too hot, Rae.”

“And no one else replied?” Kori eyed her curiously. “Not even Bruce?”

Raven flicked water at Kori. “No, god no. Bruce did not even see it,” she paused and shrugged. “Tim replied.”

Jinx lurched forward and her wrinkly hands wrapped around Raven’s arm. “Oh, ho, ho, ho.” She gave the annoyed woman a sly grin. “Tim Drake replied?”

“He slid into you?”

“Damn it, Kori. No!”

“I bet he will” Jinx winked at Raven.

Raven pushed some of her wet hair of her face in annoyance. “There’s no sliding into anyone. We just talked, that’s it.” She paused and frowned before pressing on with her margarita addled brain. “And besides, I don’t think he’s interested in me that way,”

Karen grinned and swam a bit closer to her. “And you are?”

“Tim is nice to talk to,”

Jinx rolled her eyes. “Then keep talking to him!” The pink haired woman groaned. “Do we have to take more hot photos of you and do everything for you? I swear, I’m gonna do it,”

Raven frowned. “Just drop it,”

With the sun slowly setting and after few more rounds of teasing and gossiping, the three women decided it was time for more alcohol and some of Karen’s birthday cake before they would head back to the island. Jinx and Karen led the way back to the yacht, climbing up the boarding ladder of the yacht and disappearing out of sight. Raven helped the uncoordinated Kori climb up the ladder before climbing up herself. Hoisting herself up on the transom of the yacht, Raven turned to climb up the ladder careful not to slip and potentially kill herself by hitting her head. As she reached the top of the small ladder, she stopped and frowned as Jinx and Karen had once again accosted her phone and took some photos of her as she struggled to safely climb back on board.  

“What are you doing?”

“Tim Drake sent you a photo of him in the pool. Did you see those arms? You need to send something back,” Jinx said and snapped a few more photos.

“I’m sending you back in a body bag,” Raven announced as she frowned and pulled both her legs back on board and sat on top of the ladder. “Stop it,”

“Girl, your hot. You obviously like to talk to him, and he obviously likes to talk to you. And you’ve both been sending photos to each other.” Karen waved her hands around as emphasis. “Might as well have some fun. My spidey senses are tingling, I’m sensing something good,”

Raven frowned. “You’re a bee. And the only thing that’s tingling is your head from all the alcohol,”

“Send him one of the pictures I took. A photo of you wet is gonna make him wet,” Jinx tossed Raven her phone, which she clumsily caught in between her wet hands.

Sending Jinx a nasty glare, Raven ignored the comment and sank into one of the pillows as the rest of the girls busied themselves in getting more drinks and Karen’s birthday cake. Browsing through the photos Jinx took of her, she silently wondered if she should send Tim one back. He did send her a photo of him swimming – and it would be only fair to send in a quick update of her swim as well. Right? Of course her margarita brain agreed.

Picking the one where she sat on top of the ladder with her looking at the camera with a neutral expression (all others had her frowning at Jinx) and with a full view of the ocean and the sun setting behind her, she sent the photo to Tim. “Went for a swim.”

Dropping her phone on to her lap, Raven watched as the girls returned with more drinks and a chocolate cake. Depositing everything onto the glass table, they all gathered around the table to grab more drinks and a few slices of cake.

Raven was half asleep and half listening to Jinx narrate her recent undercover mission where she had to “seduce a rich asshole” when her phone pinged and vibrated against her leg.

Picking up her phone, Raven pulled up her DMs and blinked as she stared at the little heart emoji on her photo she sent to Tim. “That’s a really beautiful view.”

Did he mean just the ocean and sunset behind her? Or was that a compliment that included her? A shiver ran down her back. Was he flirting?!

“Aww,”

Raven locked her phone and glared as Jinx leaned over her shoulder to steal a glance at Raven’s DMs. Pointing her finger at Raven with the mojito glass still in hand, the mojito sloshed angrily around the glass, Jinx wiggled her finger. “I told you, he’s into you.”

Raven dropped her phone next to her. “He’s into girls that look like drowned rats in a bikini,”

Karen rolled her eyes in exasperation and picked up Raven’s phone and tossed it back at her. “From the way you’ve been talking, it doesn’t seem like he’s just talking to because you’re in a bikini. And besides, you know Tim – he’s actually nice. You’d Marry him in our Kill, Fuck, Marry game. I don’t see where the problem is.”

Jinx shrugged and helped herself to another mojito and a cake slice. “And if he sends you photos, you have the choice to respond or not. Do whatever the two of you enjoy,” she paused and took a sip. She sent Raven a wink. “But you should send him more pictures to make him hot and bothered. Because it should be fun to make him squirm just as it should be fun for you to get your panties wet with his photos,”

Leave it to Jinx to make the crudest advice. “Whatever,” Raven mumbled and tuned out them out as they started to make plans to head back to the bay. Placing her empty margarita glass on the table in front of her, Raven turned to her phone and turned it on again. Looking at Tim’s reply, she pondered if she should take on Jinx and Karen’s advice and continue talking to Tim and if this was all worth her time and energy. In her drunk mind, Raven reasoned that she did like him, so it was well worth a shot.

“Thanks!”

Dropping her phone next to her and listening to Jinx haphazardly commandeer the yacht back to the Titan’s Bay, Raven leaned back into the soft cushions. Her phone buzzed softly against her thigh and she eyed it momentarily before picking it up again. Opening up her DMs, she decided to see where this would take her.

~

Raven groaned as her alarm clock blared loudly and she fought the urge to blow it up with her powers. While her demon heritage easily burned off most of the alcohol from yesterday, she still felt some of the side effects of drinking countless margarita pitchers that could easily induce alcohol poisoning to regular human beings. Slipping out of her bed, Raven made quick work in getting ready before grabbing her phone and heading into the kitchen.

“Morning,” Dick sent her an amused smile over his breakfast cereal. He grinned as Raven scowled. “Did you have a good time yesterday?”

Raven went on puttering around the kitchen, set on getting herself some toast and her herbal tea. She threw Richard a quick uninterested glance. “We had enough alcohol to drink an entire army under the table, we had cake, we were out on a boat miles away from Garfield, so yes, I had an excellent time,”

Dick chuckled. “And the DM?”

Raven rolled her eyes and sat down across of him by the counter.  Looking around the kitchen briefly, she assumed everyone was still asleep. “Jinx thinks she can make me ‘slide into someone’s DMs’,” she said before sipping her tea. “I shouldn’t have allowed her to take my phone.”

“Ah, the poor choices we make because of alcohol,” Dick tutted. Placing his elbow on the table and propping his chin into his hand, he grinned at her. “So, did anyone slide into your DMs back?”

Raven frowned, not liking where this was going. “Some replied. Most were just a string of eggplant and water droplet emojis.”

“Why do I have a feeling I know who sent them?” Richard quirked an eyebrow. “Jason said that you blocked him on several platforms.”

“How do you know about that?” Raven eyed him curiously while she nibbled on her toast.

Dick held up his phone and waved at her. “We have a chat group. He’s been raving over your photo that Jinx sent out,”

She snorted. “Of course the BatKids have a chat group.” She silently wondered if Tim mentioned anything on the chat group. Standing up, she picked up her mug and headed towards the door. “I’m going up the roof to meditate. I’ll see you at training,”

Not waiting for Dick’s reply, she walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway. She felt that most of the tower’s occupants were still asleep. Once they got home from their day on the yacht, they still had a small celebration for Karen back at the tower organized by the boyfriend, Cyborg. It lasted well into the night with more drinks and poor life choices.

Opening the roof door, Raven welcomed the gentle dawn breeze from the harbor and sat down in a lotus position by the ledge of the tower. Fishing out her phone from her jean’s pocket, she eyed her phone with mixed emotions. She and Tim continued to exchange messages and a few photos through the party.

Switching to her DM’s she was surprised to see a message from Tim so early in the morning. As she recalled yesterday’s events, and the poor drunk choices that came with it, Raven winced as she went through her exchange with Tim. She unconsciously stopped at the last two photos of the night they exchanged – a blurry picture of her in her camisole buried in her pillows looking both less than glamorous and incredibly sleepy (a picture she sent as a reply to his “Aren’t you going to bed?”) to which he sent his own picture in bed, shirtless with his tousled long hair falling into his eyes, giving her an incredibly dazzling sleepy smile. “Good night.” Raven would admit that the picture of a shirtless Tim Drake jolted her awake briefly. She stared at well-defined shoulders.

While she was pretty sure that their whole exchange was innocent enough, Raven felt like it opened a floodgate of so many scenarios that she may or may not be ready for.

“Good morning!” Tim had sent her a photo message of Gotham City’s skyline as the city sprang to life with the bright orange glow creating silhouettes of skyscrapers and other buildings. Gotham, despite its dark secrets, was still a very beautiful city.

She smiled at the picture. Picking her camera option, she took a picture of the Jump City bay as the rising sun created a rainbow of colors across the sky and ocean. “Good morning.”

“Hungover?”

Raven smiled. “Metabolized almost everything. Perks of being half-demon.”

“Such perks.”

“I’m going to meditate. We have training soon.” She told him.  

Her phone vibrated softly in her hand and she looked down at Tim’s reply. “Don’t beat up Dick too much.”

The corners of her lips quirked in amusement and she placed her phone next to her. Feeling warm and content, Raven slipped into a calm meditative trance. As she centered herself and felt herself calm and her emotions settle down around her, she couldn’t help but think how talking to Tim Drake wasn’t all too bad.

~

Raven sat on top of a modern commercial building and eyed the alley below her in complete boredom. Dick had them on stakeout for the past three hours to crackdown a human trafficking cartel in the city and so far they had not even heard a mouse breathe. Apparently one of the buildings in the district was one of the common trading grounds of the cartel but save for rats running around the alley, there was zero movement in her zone. Either someone must have tipped the cartel off or there was no activity that evening.

“Anything?” she heard Dick as through their comm device.

“No, man.” Victor replied sounding as tired and bored as her. “I think we should call it a night.”

“No action in my end,” Beast Boy said. He tried and failed to hide a yawn. “This is boring.”

“Nothing on my end too,” Kori said. “Perhaps we should move out, yes?”

“Raven?” Dick asked, ignoring the rest of the team’s silent please the abort the mission tonight.

Raven’s purple eye’s slipped down into the alley once more. She watched in disdain as a couple of dogs dove into a trashcan. “There are dogs eating trash down here,” she said.

They all heard Dick’s frustrated sigh. They had been trying to track the cartel for a few days now and it’s been grating on everyone’s nerves. Raven could feel Dick’s frustration press into her. “Fine. 30 more minutes and let’s head back to the tower. Nightwing out.”

Their comm line went dead and Raven sighed softly into the cool evening air. She eyed the alley below her, trying to catch any suspicious activities. She watched as the dogs started to tear apart the trash and drag some foodscraps through the alley.

Bored, Raven turned her attention to the bright Jump City skyline. From where she sat on top of the building, the city was alive with lights at two in the morning and the moon shone brightly above the silhouette of buildings. Taking out her phone, she took a picture and sent it to Tim. They had started a habit of taking photos of sceneries and things they found interesting – she quickly learned that Tim seemed to enjoy photography and also appreciated her pictures of tea mugs (hah, take that Jinx).

“Nice! Still on patrol?”

Briefly looking down the alley to check for any activities. “Yes. Stakeout. Nothing has been happening for the past three hours.”

“Sounds boring.”

Her phone vibrated in her hands and she looked down at the image he sent back to her. She inhaled softly as she stared down at an image of thick muscular legs tightly wrapped in black pants and heavy combats boot dangling from what could possibly be a skyscraper. Past his legs and feet, she could see the bright traffic down below. It was actually a nice aerial shot. She stared at the telltale signs of his Red Robin costume and frowned as she saw a few injuries on the side of his right thigh. Their messages were encrypted so they could send messages to each other without worrying about being compromised.

“You’re hurt,”

“We saw Bane tonight.” He replied. “This is just a scratch.”

Raven heard the loud rustle of a garbage bag being torn open. She looked down at the alley and frowned. “That’s going to get infected.”

“It’s just a scratch,” He repeated. “Unless you want to come over and heal it?”

Raven stared at his message and felt a warm tingle run down her back. He always did this, Tim Drake had been doing this for a while now since that afternoon they had started messaging each other so many weeks ago – he’d find ways to slip under her skin. It was innocent enough. But still – Raven stared at the message and felt an excited shiver run through her.

“In your dreams, Bird Boy.”

~

Raven loved Kori dearly. She was her sister, albeit a complete opposite from her, but still her sister. But, as she stared at her reflection in the mirror at one of Jump’s most upscale wedding dress stores, Raven wondered if it wasn’t too late to cancel her friendship with Kori. She stared at the monstrosity of her Maid of Honor dress they had her try on and Raven felt herself suffocate in the sheer amount of lace, frills, and pink.

“Let’s see!” she heard Jinx snicker outside of her dressing room.

“No,” Raven snapped and struggled to zip up the dress from behind, trying to find the tiny zipper in the sea of lace and ruffles.

“Let us see your Flornarp dress,” Kori’s excited muffled voice drifted through the doors of her dressing room. She heard the sales lady ask “The what?” to which Karen hastily replied “Maid of Honor dress. Kori’s Finnish,”

Fishing out her phone from her bag, Raven pulled up her camera app and took a photo of herself in the mirror. She sent it to Tim. “Help.”

“Is there a cotton candy monster on the loose in Jump?”

“Funny.” She replied.

“C’mon, Rae!” Jinx sounded a little drunk. Which also wasn’t that much a surprise since the shop had offered them several bottles of champagne. “For the Wayne-Anders wedding only the best,” said the store manager.

“Yes, yes, calm down,” Raven mumbled and threw open the doors of her dressing room and all but stumbled out. Hearing Karen and Jinx poor attempt of stifling their giggles, Raven frowned and grabbed her champagne glass. She took a long swig while the rest of the girls studied her in the pink lump of a dress.

Kori stared at her. “Perhaps it’s too big, yes?”

Raven sighed and tugged at the frilly neckline. “Perhaps a dress that doesn’t look like it’s eaten me alive?”

Karen snorted. “Maybe something that looks less like Silkie?”

Finishing her champagne glass, Raven placed it back on the small glass table. Offering Kori an assuring smile, sensing that her friend was growing worried over their dress choices, “I’m sure we’ll find something better, Kori,”

Looking slightly relieved, Kori smiled and nodded. “Something with less ruffles?”

“Less frills and lace too,” Raven added kindly before slipping back into the dressing room. She heard Jinx say something about finding a hotter dress that showed more bewbs.

As she struggled to get out of her dress, Raven’s phone pinged. Letting half of her dress drop around her waist, she picked up her phone from the cushioned seat and opened Tim’s message. She felt her cheeks warm significantly and her heart jump against her chest as she stared at the image of Tim Drake in an impeccable tuxedo. His hair was tousled and fell into his amused blue eyes and he grinned into the camera as he took his own picture in the full length mirror. The boys were also at their own fittings, trying out tuxedos in Gotham City. Raven took a minute to drink in his broad shoulders and how his white shirt stretched over his chest.

“That’s not fair.” Raven hastily replied in a flurry of emotions.

“Lol. Why?”

Raven felt body warm as she snuck another glance at Tim’s picture. “You look better. I look like chewed up bubble gum.”

“Oh?”

There was a pause and Raven watched as Tim started typing again, three dots dancing across the bottom of her screen. A thrill ran down her naked back. She was sure Tim was doing this on purpose.

“So I look good?”

~

Raven was at her favorite tea shop one rainy afternoon drinking ridiculously expensive tea from a tiny tea cup. After a morning of accompanying Kori for some more wedding preparations, Raven decided to take some time off in the afternoon and relax a bit. There was just so much excitement and stress she could take.

Taking a picture of her blue ceramic tea cup and tea pot, she absently sent the picture to Tim. She took a sip of her Belgian Mint Tea and idly looked around the empty tea shop. Kori’s wedding was a several weeks away and the stress of having to deal with Kori’s stress was, well, stressing her out. Raven relished comfort the tea and the steady beat of the rain brought her.

Her phone vibrated against the old table and she carefully placed her tea cup down into its dainty saucer. Picking up her phone, she stared at Tim’s reply in amusement.

“Fancy.”

“Just very fancy mint tea,” she replied.

Tim sent her a picture of his half-empty Batman coffee mug. “Just very plain coffee on my end.”

Leaning back in her chair, Raven crossed her legs and settled back comfortably. Her lips curled in amusement. “Nice mug though,”

“The finest Batman mug in town.” he replied. “I know a guy who knows a guy. I could get you one.” Tim sent her a bat emoji.

Raven looked out the shop’s window briefly and stared as the rain beat against the glass window of the shop. She felt herself warm at the exchange. She tapped the side of her phone with her finger thoughtfully, mulling over her reply as her heart fluttered suddenly. Looking back down at her phone, she smiled. “You know how to win a girl’s heart.”

A day later a neatly wrapped up red present waited for her on the Titan’s kitchen counter with the rest of the day’s mail.

~

Despite the throbbing pain her right thigh and a splitting headache, Raven sat comfortably in her bed. She leaned heavily against her dark pillows and tried to enjoy the book Victor blindly pulled out of her bookshelf to keep her in bed. Tonight’s fight with Slade ended with her getting shot in the leg and fracturing her femur. Raven argued earlier that except maybe the gunshot wound, she was generally alright. But Dick and Victor would hear nothing of it and removed her from field operations until she fully recovered.

Her phone vibrated next to her thigh and she dropped her book into her lap, careful to avoid her bandaged left thigh. Opening up her encrypted messages, she saw Tim’s latest message.

“Are you alright?!”

“Yes.” She replied and leaned back into her pillows trying to get more comfortable. Her leg throbbed in protest. Fucking Slade.

“Dick said you got hurt?”

Trust the BatFam Group Chat to spread the word. Raven rolled her eyes. She took a picture of the book in her lap and her bandaged left thigh. Not really caring how short her shorts were and how revealing the shot actually she was, Raven sent the picture to Tim. “I’m fine.”

There was a pause as Tim typed out an answer. Raven watched as the dots danced on her screen furiously. Perhaps in hindsight, as she stared at her legs and the sliver of skin between her book and shorts and the curve of her thighs against her dark sheets, sending that a revealing photo wasn’t her best idea. She wished she had a margarita to blame her poor choices on.

“Nice book.”

Raven raised an eyebrow at his answer. The book was in Latin, and while she knew that Tim was smart, she was sure he did not know Latin. The corner of her lips twitched in amusement.

“I didn’t know you knew Latin?”

“Fine. You caught me.” He sent her a blushing emoji.

“Hah.”

There was a pause and Raven thought that Tim might have ended their conversation. Not really minding the silence, Raven started to turn back to her book when her phone vibrated again. She stared at Tim’s reply.

“I was worried.”

A warmth that she definitely did not allow ran down her back. Raven felt her cheeks warm at the soft affection and she smiled. “Thanks. I’m fine.”

“Just be careful next time, okay?”

~

Victor had her do therapy, which in Raven’s opinion was completely unnecessary. So sure, the bullet shattered her femur (worse than the initially thought), but with a little more healing, she would be fine. Victor would not have it though and demanded that she still did therapy – which was a bitch.

“One more, you can do it,” Victor watched Raven dangle on the dip station as she finished up her vertical leg raises. “Quit complaining – you’re tougher than that,”

Raven felt her abs and thighs burn as she swung her legs up once more. Her fingers curled tightly into the handle bars as she struggled to finished the set. She hated this exercise and her legs and abs were on fire. “Fuck you,”

Victor laughed loudly and approached her. “I love you too,”

Raven hopped down from the machine carefully. She staggered a little as her legs touched the ground. Gasping to catch her breath, she glared at Victor. “This is completely – ”

“Unnecessary, I know. Humor me, will you?” Victor threw a towel in her face. “We’ll make tomorrow’s session our last. I just want to make sure there’s no muscle damage once you completely healed,”

Raven rolled her eyes in annoyance and wiped her face. “I’ll be fine,”

Victor shrugged and he briefly looked at her left thigh. Save for a shadow of a scar where the bullet had entered, there were no other signs of injury left. “Looks like you’re all good,” he smiled and looked down at her. “Just one more session tomorrow, Rae.”

“Fine,” Raven mumbled and turned on her heels sharply. She walked to the side of the gym room where she left her phone and water bottle. “After tomorrow I’m burning that machine,”

“Hey, no hating the Dip Machine,” She heard Victor tap the machine lovingly. “I’m going to make us some dinner. See you in the common room,”

Raven made a noncommittal sound and picked up her water bottle. Taking a long drink of water to cool herself down, she absently picked up her phone and checked her notifications. Ignoring some of the annoying memes and GIFs Garfield sent to their group chat, Raven pulled up Tim’s latest message.

“Still doing therapy?”

“Yeah, just finished.”  She replied. “Dead tired.”

“Good job!” He sent her a thumbs up emoji. “Did a workout too.”

Raven coughed loudly as she choked on her water and allowed it to dribble down her chin and chest. Inhaling sharply, she clumsily placed the water bottle next to her on the bench and stared at the photo Tim just sent her. Looking up at her from her phone was a sweaty, grinning Tim Drake dressed in nothing but a pair of gym shorts. His disheveled hair fell into his blue eyes that practically burned into her. He took the photo in what she guessed was his gym at his apartment. She stared at his flexed bicep as he took a photo of himself in the mirror and her eyes swept over his arms and chest. She felt a shiver of excitement run down her chest and pool low in her stomach. She inhaled softly again and swallowed as her eyes followed the dips of his abs. She could see scars dance across his chest, arms, and stomach and she faintly wondered how it would feel like to –

Holy shit.

She inhaled unsteadily through her nose and frowned. “That’s not fair.” She furiously typed and sent back to him. Why did he always tease her? Her body tingled and she stole a quick glance at his photo again. Damn it.

“What is?”

He was teasing her again! Raven felt her cheeks flush and her stomach tingle in excitement. How Tim Drake managed to so easily slip under skin and stir so man emotions and flirt with her, all through her phone, was beyond her.  Her emotions purred inside of her, enjoying the attention.

“Tim!”

“What!”

She felt a flurry of emotions and she body practically hummed. She could blame the margaritas of so many months ago for this. But, honestly, this was all on her. She really had no alcohol to blame, except for her emotions that were practically burning her skin. Pushing herself off the bench, she exhaled loudly and marched towards the mirrors.

Still incredibly disheveled from her therapy session, Raven took a photo of herself in her workout clothes – a pair of rather short gym shorts and a sports bra. Looking into her phone as she took a photo of herself, her lips curled just a little bit in amusement. She hit send. Her heart beat loudly against her chest as she sent her picture – two could play his game.

It took a minute – just as long as it took for her to take in Tim’s picture – before Tim replied. Raven felt a satisfied tingle run down her spine.

Heart emoji.

~

While Raven was busy filing that evening’s report, Tim randomly sent her a picture of Gotham City’s park. She paused in her typing and stared at the beautiful picture of Gotham City alive at night with buildings illuminated by the moon and the enchanting shadows danced across sprawling park. Despite its grit and crime, Gotham City was beautiful.

“That’s beautiful.” She replied.

“Patrol is boring tonight. Thought you might like a view of the park.”

Raven smiled at his thoughtfulness. “Thanks. We stopped a bank robbery today. I’m filing reports.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“Thrilling.” She replied. She looked at her laptop, her Batman mug filled with tea, and some of the case files on the table, nothing really was worthy of a picture. “Nothing really as beautiful as your park to take a photo of here, really.”

“You could take a picture of yourself?”

~

“My mother was from Gotham,” she told him one evening after he sent her another picture of Gotham City’s skyline while he was on patrol.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” she replied while sitting on top of the Titan’s tower and looking out at the bay. Something stirred in her as she waited for Tim’s reply.

“Do think you still have relatives here?”

“I don’t think so,” she answered. “I don’t know.”

“We could find out?”

We. Raven stared at the ‘we’ and felt a warmth blossom that had been brewing deeply inside of her for so long. She smiled. “I’d like that.”

“We could go to some of your mom’s favorite places,”

She heard the whisper of an unspoken promise. Raven felt her heart fluttered softly against her chest. Her hair tickled her chin as a soft warm breeze swept past her. She shivered with anticipation. “I’d like that too.”

“It’s a date then.”

~

“Are you busy?” Tim asked one afternoon while she was hunched over on her bed engrossed in painting her toenails. It was a secret guilty pleasure she eventually developed after one too many girl nights with Kori.

Raven dipped the little brush back into the dark blue nail polish and grabbed her phone as she waited for her toenails on her left foot to try. “I’m painting my nails.”

“Really?”

Before she could reply or send a photo as evidence, her phone rang loudly and it slipped out of her hand as it vibrated. The black phone landed on her lap and continued to incessantly vibrate against her bare leg. She looked down and watched as Tim’s name appeared on her screen – incoming video call.

They had recently started talking on the phone on a few occasions – mostly when Tim was bored and wanted to tease Raven. She’d admit that she secretly enjoyed talking to him over the phone. It brought a thrill down her spine. She wasn’t all too sure what was happening between them but she liked the feelings that blossomed within her.

Her phone buzzed angrily.  Looking down at her attire, she was dressed in one of Victor’s oversized t-shirt and nothing else, and thought that it would be enough. Picking up her phone, she placed it on her nightstand next to her bed for them to see each other and answered the call.

“Yes?”

Tim’s smiling face appeared on her phone’s screen. “Hey!”

Raven blinked in surprise as she took in Tim’s rather wet hair. “Why are you so wet?”

He was clearly holding his phone with his hand as his phone shook unsteadily while Tim combed his sopping wet hair with his other hand. Shaking his head a bit to get water out of his long hair, he looked back at her. “I was riding my motorbike and it started to rain, so yeah.”

Raven shifted on her bed and hunched over her feet. She hummed softly as a promise that she was listening. She began to paint the toenails on her right foot. “Where are you?” she asked while keeping a steady eye on her foot.

“At the mall. Buying some last minute wedding stuff,” she heard his reply.

Throwing an amused look over her shoulder, she watched as Tim’s face became a little blurry as he moved through some aisle. “Doesn’t the Wayne household have a delivery service to get their shopping done or something?” she teased.

“Hah,” Tim chuckled and his grinned at her through the camera. “Funny.” He explained the last minute items Alfred had him buy.

Turning back to her right foot, Raven shifted and bent her knee, drawing her foot closer to her. Her t-shirt around her thighs fell lower into her lap and pooled around the swell of her hips. She heard Tim pause briefly in his detailed explanation of his table napkin quest and inhale softly. He coughed and she could hear the distinct quiver in his voice.

“—so, yeah. Uh, table napkins. We don’t have enough,”

Raven briefly looked down at how her shirt pooled around her hips. Smirking, she threw him an amused look. “Troubles?”

Her emotions purred softly and a thrill ran down her spine as she watched Tim briefly glance down at her legs before looking back at her. They stared at each other for a moment before Tim smiled and shook his head. “Ah, no,”

“So, table napkins?” Raven cocked her head to the side and watched as Tim continued to walk through the dark aisles. It didn’t look like he was in the dinning section of the mall.

“Yeah,” Tim said. He was busy looking at some items in the shelf in front of him. His face disappeared from the frame a couple of times as he reached and rummaged through the shelves.

“You called because of napkins? That’s what was so important?” Raven asked with a lilt in her voice.

She heard Tim chuckle as she continued to paint her toenails. “Actually, no. I wanted to ask what you’re wearing at the dinner party on Thursday?”

Raven turned back to her phone and sent him a curious look. She watched as his face was busy staring at whatever was on display in front of him. “What I’ll be wearing?”

Dick and Kori’s wedding was, finally, less than a week away. Bruce was hosting a dinner party for everyone before the wedding. It was mainly just all members of the Titans from the different teams and Justice League members and whoever else who belonged to the circle, just so everyone could celebrate without worrying about trying to hide their identities. Raven was honestly thrilled that the wedding would be over and done with soon – Kori was stressing her out.

“Yeah,” Tim chimed. “What color is your dress? Help a man out here.”

Raven furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. What was he getting on with? “What?” She cocked her head to the side as Tim busied himself with the shelf in front of him.

“What color is your dress?” he repeated.

“Dark blue,” she replied in pure confusion. “What’s the point?”

Tim made a satisfied noise in the back of his throat and his face blurred out as he reached for something in front of him. “Like this?” he showed her a rather expensive looking dark blue silk tie.

“Kind of?” Raven frowned. “Why?”

Tim sent her a soft smile and shrugged. “Thought it’d be nice to match your dress?”

~

“So, you’re telling us you’ve been flirting and talking and sending each other pictures, and may I just add pictures that are borderline sinful, to each other for close to four months and you’ve never met up?” Karen shot Raven an incredulous look as they drove towards the Wayne Estate in Gotham City for Dick and Kori’s pre-wedding dinner party slash ridiculous gala dinner Bruce Wayne organized. Removing her eyes from the road momentarily, Karen looked utterly disappointed at Raven. “How could you have not met up?”

Raven looked annoyed in her seat. “I don’t know. Maybe because we live in different cities, we have jobs, he practically runs Wayne Enterprises, and we’re all trying to save the world from impending doom every week?”

“Saving the world my ass.” Jinx scoffed and leaned into the space between the two front seats. As she leaned towards them, the neckline of her red dress dipped dangerously, momentarily flashing both Karen and Raven with her breasts. She shot Raven an amused look. “I’m sure in between all that, you could have still squeezed in some sex time,”

“I could squeeze your neck anytime,” Raven shot back. Her purple eyes dropped to Jinx’s cleavage in disdain. “Your tits are out.”

Jinx laughed and slumped back into the backseat of Karen’s car. Adjusting her red slinky dress around her chest, Jinx sent Raven an amused smile. “I bet you your tits are gonna be out too later tonight,”

“Why am I friends with you again?” Raven stared at Jinx darkly through the rearview mirror.

“Pretty low standards?” Karen mused loudly as they rounded the corner.

“Hey!” Jinx looked indignant. “We’re on the same team!”

“Look, you like him, and from the way he’s been flirting with you, he’s hot and heavy about you too,  hold it, wait!” Karen briefly raised a perfectly manicured finger into Raven’s face as the purple haired woman was about to protest. “Don’t even deny it. Tonight you’re going to see him after all of whatever it is you two are doing over the phone,”

“It’s like you’re dry humping over the phone,” Jinx said dryly.

Trying to be the more sensible friend, Karen completely ignored Jinx and briefly cast the annoyed Raven a quick glance. “You can’t just keep on talking over the phone. What are you going to do, Rae?”

Raven frowned at them, her emotions stirring slightly. Smoothing out her dark blue dress around her legs, she frowned. “I didn’t say I’d go and avoid him, I highly doubt that would be even possible,” she said.

Karen shot her a curious look. “How are you feeling about all of this?”

“Hot and bothered?” Jinx chimed from the backseat.

Raven rolled her eyes at Jinx. Leaning back in her seat, she crossed her arms defensively under her breasts. “It’s a lot to take in,” she said. She cast Karen a quick glance, briefly admiring her in the long deep yellow dress she was wearing.

“We’re not telling you to jump him, Raven,”

“Though you totally should,” Jinx said. “Or he should jump you, whatever works your kink.”

Raven let out a long suffering sigh. “I’m going to see him and we’ll see where it goes. Maybe he just likes talking to me over the phone and things change when he sees me,”

Jinx rolled her eyes. “When he sees you in that dress, he will not take you out of his sight. I promise you that. We picked the right dress,” She sighed dramatically. “I’m so proud of you. You did well in slipping into his DMs.”

“Just have fun tonight, Rae,” Karen said, completely ignoring Jinx in the backseat.

Raven made a non-committal sound in the back of her throat. “Kind of hard to do when I’m still on Maid of Honor duty for Kori,” as if on cue, her phone vibrated in her black clutch. Fishing it out of her bag, Raven eyed Kori’s text. “She just sent me a messaging asking us to buy her a liter of mustard. Why would she want a liter of mustard?”

“Why doesn’t the Wayne household have liter of mustard? It’s a fucking manor.” Jinx gave Raven an incredulous look.

“There should be a 7/11 or a supermarket nearby. We can make a quick stop and get the bride her mustard,” Karen said while trying to spot a supermarket along the way. She shot Jinx a quick look through the rearview mirror. “Be useful. Try to find something on your phone. It’ll be faster that way,”

Raven’s phone vibrated again. Opening up her messages, Tim’s headshot smiled up at her. Ignoring the feelings that stirred in her chest, Raven opened her encrypted messages.

“Are you here yet? Where are you?”

“We’re still downtown. Kori just texted. She wants a liter of mustard.” She replied. Jinx and Karen argued in the background where to take a turn. For superheroes, it was grossly disappointing how poorly they could operate Google Maps.

“Oh, okay.” Tim replied. She watched as the dots danced across the bottom of her screen. “The party is starting.”

“We’ll be there in a bit. Trying to find mustard.”

He sent her a photo of the brightly lit ballroom (it’s ridiculous how they had a Grand Ballroom – but it’s Bruce Wayne) that’s filled with beautifully dressed superheroes dancing or feasting on the buffet tables. She could see Garfield dance with Terra in one corner of the picture. “Hurry!”

They had stopped at a gas station. Jinx and Karen had volunteered to go and get the mustard. Lifting her phone to the window, Raven took a photo of the gas station. “Mustard run. See you later.”

“I’ll save you a dance.”

~

The Wayne Estate was breathtakingly beautiful. Raven forgot how beautiful it was up until tonight. On the handful occasions she was here because of work, she remembered how quiet and dark the mansion was. But tonight, she could feel how the mansion was alive with emotions. Raven heard laughter and loud music drift through the halls, the sound of silverware hitting fine china tinkled softly.

They were a bit late after their Great Mustard Run of 2020. When they stepped into the foyer Alfred was ready to welcome them and take the one liter of mustard out of their hands (it painfully clashed with their dresses).

“The three of you look stunning. Thank you for the mustard,” Alfred smiled kindly at them. “I’ll take this to the kitchen. I trust that you know your way to the ballroom?”

“It’s wonderful to see you again, Alfred,” Raven smiled. She hugged the man briefly before leading Karen and Jinx towards the ballroom. She could hear Victor’s loud laughter carry through the hallways and she smiled.

“There you are!”

Victor all but barreled into them, his bright blue tuxedo stretching across his muscles as he hugged all three girls at the same time.

“Easy there, Sparky,” Karen laughed and pushed her boyfriend away from them.

“Thought I’d have to send out a search party for you three,” Victor grinned. He handed Karen his champagne glass. “BB and some of the older Titans are at the table over there,” he pointed at one of the center tables in the brightly lit ballroom.

Wrapping her arms around Victor’s left arm, Karen looked around the ballroom with bright eyes. “Wow, I didn’t realize there’d be so many people,”

“Leave it to Bruce Wayne to throw a party,” Jinx commented, stealing two champagne glasses from Alfred as he passed them with a full tray.

Taking one of the champagne glasses from Jinx, Raven surveyed the ballroom. Modern jazz music drifted through the air while people were busy talking, dancing, or eating. All of the Justice League and their sidekicks, Teen Titans and the original Titans were in the room. It was impressive to see so many heroes dressed to the nines in such a relaxed and normal environment. She spotted Clark talking to Lois and Diana by the bar and waved when he caught her eye.

“Clark Kent fills out a suit so nicely,” whispered Jinx into her ear.

“Don’t,” Raven rolled her eyes and gently pushed Jinx away. They followed Victor into the fray of the party, waving at some of friends and the younger Titans.

“Friends!”

Kori in her flowing lavender dress hugged Raven tightly out of nowhere. The smaller woman stumbled back slightly before hugging Kori back and gaining her footing. Looking over Kori’s shoulder she saw a highly amused Dick looking stunning in his tuxedo. Pushing Kori away gently, Raven smiled. “Hi, Kori,”

“Thanks for the mustard,” Dick laughed as they all gathered by the designated table for the older Titans.

“It should be crime how hot you two look,” Karen commented dryly, eyeing Richard and Kori in mock disdain. Kori was dressed in a light lavender gown that dipped dangerously down the down the front and back and flared around her hips. Dick matched her dress with a lavender tie and undoubtedly expensive tuxedo.

“You look stunning, friends,” Kori said, smiling brightly at them.

Jinx was dressed in a slinky red dress with thin straps around her shoulders and a neckline that was close to scandalous while Karen was in a rich yellow dress that hugged her curves. Raven had initially protested in getting a new dress, but Karen and Jinx had essentially held her at gunpoint and they bought midnight blue dress with a deep neckline, which according to Jinx, “helped accentuate her tits.” The dress had a long slit run up her right leg, exposing her thigh as she walked.

Kori leaned into Raven’s personal space and gently pocked her in the ribs, much to her annoyance. “Tim has been asking for you.”

Raven blushed and she felt her heart jump into her throat. Looking away from Kori’s amused look, she pulled away, and turned to Karen. “I’m hungry,” she said hastily. No way was she going to subject herself to more teasing. “Let’s get some hors d’oeuvres.”

Kori giggled. “I’m happy for you, Friend Raven.”

Raven felt her emotions warm her. Throwing a soft smile over her should as she maneuvered Jinx towards the buffet stations, Raven caught Kori’s eyes. “Thanks,”

“So you’re not going to look for Tim?” Jinx asked as they pocked around a wide array of canapés. She absently waved at Wally on the other end of the buffet station. “Don’t you want to push him into one of the dark corners of this mansion and have your way with him?”

Raven eyed her in disdain. “How about I push you off one of the balconies here and make it look like an accident?”

“You’re no fun,” Jinx snorted. “Just have fun tonight. I’m sure he’s looking forward to seeing you and potentially ravishing you,”

Ignoring Jinx, Raven briefly scanned the room in the hopes of maybe spotting Tim. When she did not spot Tim, she turned back to her cucumber canapés ignoring the slight twinge of disappointment in her chest. She followed Jinx back to their table and they joined the rest of the old team.

The party seemed to slowly get into full swing as Roy joined their table and placed a few bottles of expensive wine and whiskey in the center of the table, much to the delight of Victor and Jinx. Ignoring Garfield’s bad jokes, Raven stood up and told Karen she was getting more champagne. There was no way she was going to fall into Roy’s trap of getting everyone wasted.

As she walked towards the bar, she waved at Dick and Kori as they were dancing slowly in the middle of the room with a Clark and Lois and a few other couples. They happily waved back before wrapping themselves into each other’s arms again. Raven felt the warm brush of their emotions against her and she smiled. She was glad her friends finally got married.

“Raven,”

“Constantine,” Raven wasn’t all too surprised to see Constantine by the bar. Taking one of the ready champagne glasses she joined him leaning against the bar and eyed his tuxedo in amusement. “I am pleasantly surprised to see you out of your trench coat,”

Constantine knocked back his whiskey and poured himself another shot from the bottle next to him. “Z threatened to hex me if I even thought of using my old coat,” he shrugged with a hint of disdain in his voice. He waived his whiskey glass at her. “You look amazing, by the way.”

Raven hummed her thanks and took a sip of her champagne. She briefly looked around the party, watching in mild amusement and awe as superheroes drank, ate, and danced through the party. She smiled briefly when she saw J’onn awkwardly dance with an amused Diana. Her eyes drifted towards the side of the ballroom and she inhaled softly when she finally spotted Tim talking to Commissioner Gordon. Ignoring how her heart seemed to beat loudly in her chest, she placed her champagne glass back on the bar and fished out her phone from her clutch. She felt her lips curl in amusement as she opened her phone’s camera and took a quick phot of Tim. Quickly tapping on her phone, she sent him the picture she took and dropped her phone back into her clutch satisfied.

“Didn’t know you were much of a stalker,” Constantine commented in dryly as he sipped his whiskey. He eyed her curiously.

Raven shrugged and grabbed her champagne glass again. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Tim pull his phone out of his pocket. Turning back to Constantine, she leaned against the bar with her left hip and offered an amused smile. “Picked up a new hobby,” she told him.

“Hah,” Constantine laughed. He tipped his glass at her and grinned. “Z told me to pick up a new hobby too,”

Raven snorted and raised an eyebrow. “That isn’t drinking?”

“I’d like to think mixology is an excellent hobby,”

“With you, I wouldn’t go as far as to call it a hobby, John,” Raven countered.

Spotting Zatanna and a few other female members of the League re-enter the ballroom, Constantine pushed himself away from the bar and offered Raven shrug. “Z’s back from her bathroom break with the rest of the ladies, why do you need to go in groups?” he asked absently. “I’m going to back to our table. Nice seeing you, Raven,”

“Bye, John,” Raven waved at the warlock’s retreating form. Taking a sip of her champagne, she felt a warm presence behind her. A warm tingle ran down her back as she felt the faintly familiar press of emotions against her.

“You still owe me a dance,”

Raven laughed and turned around, an inexplicable warmth spreading across her chest as she stared up at a highly amused Tim Drake leaning against the bar. She felt her lips curl into a smile as she stared into warm blue eyes. “Oh?” she breathed, a pleasant thrill ran down her spine as she watched his eyes appreciatively sweep down her figure before settle back on her face. “Didn’t you say you’d save me a dance?”

“Hmm,” Tim hummed and tilted his head lightly in amusement as he looked down at her. Raven felt his emotions tickle her. “You’re right, I did.”

Feeling like she could drown in his blue eyes, Raven tore her eyes from his and looked at his tie. Dark blue. She inhaled softly and felt her heart beat loudly in her chest. “Nice tie,” she commented and titled her head up at him.

Tim let out a soft laugh and leaned his left elbow against the bar as he fully turned to her. Raven watched as his other hand smoothed over his tie and she absently thought how handsome he looked in his tuxedo. It was ridiculous how distractingly handsome he was. “Thanks,” Tim said and offered her a gently smile. “You look beautiful, Raven,”

She felt her cheeks color and she shifted her weight under his gaze. It was absurd how flustered she felt after all those weeks of flirting with him over the phone. And now here he was, looking like that and looking at her in such a dangerous way that shifted the air around them and had her slowly go weak in the knees. She wondered if she had too much champagne. “Thanks,” she breathed.

She watched the corners of his lips curl as he continued to look at her. “Do you…” he trailed off and tilted his head towards the elaborate patio doors that lead to the Wayne Estate gardens. He tapped his whiskey glass thoughtfully while waiting for her reply.

“Oh,” her eyes darted from the patio doors to back to Tim’s gaze. She smiled and nodded. “Sure,”

Grabbing her champagne glass and tucking her clutch under her arm, she slipped past his gaze. Gently touching his elbow, she walked past him and headed towards the patio doors. She felt Tim next to her as they navigated through the crowd and shared amused smiles at each other. When they reached the door, he opened the door for her and gently paced his hand on her lower back and lead her outside. The touch sent a warm shiver up her body.

“How did your mustard run go?” asked Tim as they walked out of the grand patio and into the beginnings of the Wayne Estate garden. They stopped by the elaborate stone banister and stood next to each other, elbows touching and leaning over to look at the sprawling garden in front of them. They were alone and it was much quieter outside compared to the partying inside. They could still hear the muted dance music drift through the air.

“It’s sorely disappointing how Gotham City has so very few stores that carry one liter bottles of mustard,” Raven said followed by a soft chuckle.

Tim snorted. “Does it warrant a strong worded letter to the Gotham Supermarket Association?”

“I think Wayne Enterprises should definitely make this a priority,” Raven teased, throwing him an amused look before turning back to the rose bushes in front of them.

Tim laughed and took a sip from his whiskey. “I’ll make sure to bring it up at work on Monday,”

Raven hummed. A soft breeze swept past them, rustling the trees and bushes in front of them. Her purple hair tickled her chin and she pushed it behind her ear again. “So,” she breathed. “Are you enjoying the party?”

Tim cast a curious glance behind them as a loud round of cheers and laughter from erupted from a table close to the windows. He threw her an amused smile. “I’ll admit it’s a bit unnerving to see so many superheroes drunk,”

Raven let out a soft laugh. “You just wait until Jinx and the others make their way through all the alcohol they brought over to our table. It’s going to be very interesting,”

Running his free hand through his hair, Tim laughed. “I feel like I should be worried,”

“Victor and Karen are with them. They’re the designated drivers. So if anything, they’ll keep everyone in check,” said Raven. Her purple eyes twinkled as she looked up at Tim. “Or the very least, keep Garfield from drunk transforming,”

Tim raised an eyebrow. “And that’s not something we want to see?”

Raven tilted her head with a wry smile. “Unless you want to see him accidentally rip through his tuxedo and transform back into his human form naked,” Her lips curled lightly around the corner as she watched him make a face.

“Maybe we should ask Alfred to send them some water?”

“It’ll be okay,” she assured and turned back to watching the garden in front of them. She stared the garden thoughtfully and thought it would be nice to meditate here. “The Wayne Estate has a such a beautiful garden,”

Tim stared at her and smiled. “Yeah. It’s pretty breathtaking,”

Raven felt the warm brush of emotions against her and she caught him staring at her. His emotions were warm and she was sure he did not mean the garden right now. She felt herself flush. Raven leaned in just a little bit into his space, seeking just a little bit of the warmth of his emotions.

“That’s why I brought you outside. I thought you’d might like to see the garden,” Tim continued and shuffled just a little bit closer to her. His eyes were searching hers. “Have you been to the manor before?”

“Just a couple of times, all for work. This is my first time to really appreciate the manor,” she replied and absently fiddled with her empty champagne glass.

Tim raised his eyebrows in surprise and he smiled brightly. “I’ll need to show you the library later then. I know you’ll love it,”

His smile and energy was infectious. A thrum of emotions ran down her spine and Raven returned his smile. “That’s two promises you’ve made with me, Tim,”

Tim chuckled and tutted loudly. Placing his whiskey glass on the banister and unceremoniously plucking her champagne glass and clutch out of her hands and placing these on the banister as well, he reached out and took her left hand. “I’m not one to break promises, Raven.” he told her, blue eyes twinkling mischievously. His warm hand squeezed hers gently and tugged her closer to him. “Would you like to dance?”

“Here? Now?” Raven heard surprised quiver in her voice and she breathed in slowly. She briefly looked around them, making sure they were alone and no one caught this rather embarrassing moment. Her heart leapt into her throat. As if in cue, the band inside the ballroom began to play a new slow song with violin notes drifting through the air. She felt his warm hand squeeze hers again and pull her closer.

“Yeah. C’mon, Raven,” Tim tugged her hand and gently guided it towards his shoulder and allowed his hand to ghost over the side of her body and settle on the dip of her waist and his other hand curled around her right hand. “I promised I’ll save you a dance, didn’t I?”

Raven realized that the playful, flirty Tim Drake over her phone was vastly different from the playful, flirty Tim Drake that stood in front of her. Tim Drake practically enveloped her in his emotions. Where she thought she was prepared for whatever Tim might reveal tonight, she simply found herself slowly wrapped up in a warmth of emotions that were both his and hers. She felt her own emotions purr and a shiver ran down her spine. Allowing him to slowly lead and sway them to the soft violin music, Raven smiled up at Tim. “You’re strange, Tim Drake,”

Tim laughed, his blue eyes bright, as he continued to sway them to the soft violin music. He gently tugged her a little closer as a more comfortable air dropped around them and his hand slipped around her waist just a little firmer. “I live to please,” he told her softly.

She felt his chuckle against his chest and Raven unconsciously leaned into him more, chasing after his warmth. She could faintly smell his aftershave, sandalwood, and Raven inhaled softly, feeling drawn into his presence. Relishing the soft press of his body against hers, she absently wondered if Karen and Jinx were right and she had really nothing to worry about over whatever this was.

“So,” Tim continued, his voice low and soft. His fingertips pressed gently into her waist as he pulled her just a little bit closer. Raven could feel his heartbeat against her chest, a fast thrum as he continued to sway them to the music. “I – I,” he paused and let a soft laugh. His hand squeezed hers and he looked down at her in amusement. “Sorry, I’m – uh –maybe just a little bit nervous?”

Raven looked up at him caught his sheepish smile and she stared into blue eyes she could drown in. And she felt it, the warm press of his emotions – want, lust, nervousness, excitement – pressing into her. She titled her head and her lips curled into a smile. “Oh?”

“I’m glad you’re here, Raven,”

“Out here?” she asked. She felt her own emotions tingle under her skin and she slipped her hand from his shoulder down his chest and behind his back. Raven was sure she wanted to wrap herself around his warmth more just as a cool breeze swept past them.

His hand wanders a little further around her waist and presses gently into the small of her back. Blue eyes steadily hold her gaze and he continues to smile down at her. “Yeah, here,” he repeats.

Raven hums. “I’m glad too,”

She felt him shift against her and his hand travels just a little up her back, fingers splayed confidently across he back. She looks up at him curiously. “I know we’ve just been talking over the phone, but –“ he pauses and lets out a soft chuckle and looks at her. “I really like spending time with you,”

She felt a warm rush of emotions spread all over body and Raven felt something shift between them. She felt herself go just a little breathless and she smiled, her purple eyes twinkling just a little. “Oh,” she whispered. The corner of her lips threatened to copy his own infectious smile. “I’m not boring you?”

Tim laughed and dipped his head a little, blue eyes dancing in delight. Raven inhaled softly as he pressed himself closer. Raven was sure everything just seemed to melt away and the air still seemed so alive around them. “Far from it,” he whispered.

“Good to know,” Raven mumbled. She watched as Tim smiled, looking pleased. His gaze dropped to her lips and she felt her breath catch in her throat. She unconsciously shifted closer, heartbeat thrumming loudly in her ears.

“Raven?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ll kiss you, okay?” His breath fanned her face and Raven was sure she was intoxicated with the emotions and electricity that seemed to wrap around them.

“Okay.”

She heard him release a soft laugh before he pressed even closer and kissed her. Raven felt her emotions roar and she released his hand, grabbing onto his arm to anchor herself. The kiss was gentle but needy as his lips worked against hers and drank her soft sighs. She felt his other hand curl around the side of her neck and gently tilt her head to provide better access. Her fingers curled into his bicep as Tim pressed into her further, silently seeking for more.

It was like a floodgate of emotions opened and headily wrapped around her as Tim coaxed her lips open and groaned softly into them. Raven was sure that his lips, tongue, hands, and emotions were burning her – and she desperately chased after his heat. Sighing softly into Tim’s lips, Raven allowed herself to be wrapped into their heady want and relished his eager kisses.

After a few more long, desperate kisses, Tim gently pulled away and inhaled shakily. Pressing his forehead against hers, his hair tickled her cheek and he grinned at her. “Wow,” he breathed against her. “I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks now,”

Still reeling from the press of emotions around her, Raven held on to him. She let out a softy breathy laugh and the corners of her eyes crinkled. “Really?”

“Really.” He pressed a soft kiss against her lips again and pulled her flush against his body, hand sliding down low and stopping at the just at the swell of her ass. Pulling away again and inhaling shakily, he looked into her eyes and his thumb gently swept against her cheek. “Be my date to the wedding?”

Raven chuckled in amusement. “I’m the Maid of Honor. I’m already there,” she teased gently.

“Well,” Tim breathed softly and chuckled. Pressing a kiss to the corner of her lips, he looked at her in amusement. “I’ll save all my dances for you then,”

“I’d like that,” Raven whispered into his lips and kissed him once more.

Hands sliding over her sides and leaving a hot trail down her back, Tim pressed into her. “You know,” he whispered against her lips and Raven felt his fingers curl into her sides. “I need to thank Jinx for sending me that photo,”

Raven chuckled and pressed into him. “Shut up and kiss me, Tim Drake,”

“Gladly,”

#TimRae #timrae fanfiction #Tim Drake #raven #Teen Titans

[suhoerections]

Impulse Control || Part 1

⟹ Racer!AU || Gang!AU || Biker!AU

⟹ Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst || Rated: M 

⟹ Word Count: 7.9k

⟹ Paring: Junmyeon x reader

⟹ Summary: Junmyeon is caught up in the tragedy he finds himself in, but can you cope watching him lose himself?

⟹ Warnings: Mention of abusive family || Mention of drug use || Mention of smoking || Mention of illegal activities || 3k long smut || Daddy kink || Oral: female receiving || Soft Junmyeon || Body worship || Praise || Unprotected sex (use condoms pls) || 

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6

Tag List:@byunfirstlady​ @strikingsilouettes​ @chanyeolol​ @letsmakeitforever​ (If you would like to be added please send an ask or DM me :))

A/N: This is a collab with some lovely people called EXO Customs!! And a spin off based on @ninibears-erigom​ fic Pretty Little Vixen check out the other collabs here!  @fairyyeols​ @kyungseokie​ @kimjongdaely​ @kpop---scenarios​ @yeoldontknow​ @skjdln​ @baekwell--tart​ 

Not advised for younger viewers

Additional note, this is set 8 year prior all the fics within this collaboration as this series focuses on the backstory of Junmyeon

Junmyeon’s heart skipped a beat as he walked into the bar with a few of his friend’s trailing behind. He couldn’t help the love sick smile that fell upon his boyish features as he watched you go about your work. 

Junmyeon liked you, everyone with half a brain knew that. And he got teased relentlessly for it - whether it be from his best friends, the gang of boys he was close enough to call his brothers or his actual brother. 

But he didn’t care. He couldn’t.

Even though he had the classic “bad boy” reputation he’d been sporting since highschool, you were his weak spot. The black leather jacket, cigarette hanging off his lips, piercings adorning his ear and the classic Harley he rode everywhere; he gave off a ‘not to be fucked with’ energy. 

“Hey baby cakes,” You heard Chanyeol coo, his lips lifting into a smirk as he leant on the table you were cleaning, “Mind getting us a table?” 

You huffed an amused smile at him, gesturing to a booth in the back of the bar, “That big enough for you and your butt buddies, Channie?” You teased back, still wiping down the table.

“Perfect,” He smiled, walking toward the booth with the rest following behind.

Except Junmyeon. 

He leant against the table like Chanyeol had, but his height meant he wasn’t towering over you, his lips curved into a warm smile as his eyes met your own. 

You’d known that smile since forever. His eyes always crinkled and his cheeks would flush slightly - it was your favorite thing about him. Junmyeon had that smile since you’d met him in high school, his academics surprisingly high despite his reputation. But you’d grown close, being in most of the “academically challenging” classes together. And you’d often forget about his rep in the small moments you shared together studying after school at the library or at your house. 

For a while you liked him, your teenage self falling head over heels for him. Though you gave up, his bad boy reputation preceding him along with a line of girls ready to drop dead at his wish. It’s why you gave up, the raging threat of estrogen stopping you from wanting to even attempt something with him. 

Though it didn’t matter, your senior year proving to be more successful within the dating scheme of things. Your first love appeared; Choi Minho stealing your heart and virginity, though, college soon had him leaving. So you never really cared too much about romantic feelings towards Junmyeon and you assumed he felt the same.

Yet, you were questioning that.  

“Your shift ends in an hour, right?” Junmyeon questioned, cocking an eyebrow quizzically as if he didn’t know the answer already.

“Yep,” You hummed, “Though you would already know that.” A teasing smile crept onto your face as you walked toward the bar, placing the cloth on the polished wood.

Junmyeon smirked, “Of course I did, just wanted to know if you need a lift home?” He offered, moving to lean against the bar instead of the table. 

You shrugged, letting yourself admire how the warm light of the bar hit his handsome features, “I don’t mind going for a ride.” You hummed, smiling at the offer. 

“I don’t mind taking you for one,” Junmyeon replied cockily, sending a wink your way before walking back off to the booth with the others, a few wolf whistles greeting him. 

The remaining hour of your shift passed quickly. The night was slow, so you mostly spent time chatting with Junmyeon and his group of friends. 

“Where’s Jongin?” You questioned, noticing his absence among the group.

A shit eating grin fell upon Baekhyun’s face as he started to speak, “Little Nini’s out with his sweetheart,” 

“You sure he isn’t in his sweetheart?” Chanyeol snickered, shoving Baek teasingly. A few laughed at his remark, a smile of your own forming on your features.

“Has it been an hour?” Junmyeon asked through the group’s talking, eyes meeting your own as he spoke.

You hummed, looking to the small watch on your wrist, “Yep, I’ll go grab my stuff.” You smiled at him before walking off to the staff room. 

Butterflies fluttered in his stomach as you sent him the warm smile. Junmyeon hated how love sick he was, so he tried to mask it - yet, he couldn’t help the way he melted at your small gestures or the way his stomach did flips at every smile you shot his way. 

He had felt like this a few times before, though never like this. His crush for you was a crescendo of emotions built up since high school. He’d never really thought about dating you until senior year - when he realised he would rather be the one you stole kisses from in the hallway, or how he’d imagine it was you he was making out with behind the bleachers. Though he disregarded it, your friendship being more important to him than a romantic relationship that would turn south as you were already with Minho. 

He’d felt like this on and off, though his 21st was easily the tipping point. It was the way the late afternoon breeze hit you perfectly; the wind catching your hair, smile lighting up your features and he swore you had never looked more beautiful than that day. The almost summer night being full of laughter and fun, though he always found himself gravitating toward you - the feelings he’d bottled up exploding in the singular moment where he felt like you held his heart. 

It had only happened a month or two ago; summer being in full swing now. Though his feelings never waned, not once. 

“I’m ready,” You walked back out, a small bag of your things swung over your shoulder and a small smile on your lips. 

Junmyeon nodded, a bashful smile painted across his features as he watched you walk toward the table. “I’m gonna take y/n home,” He spoke, making sure to say the words a little louder than Chanyeol’s booming laugh. 

A shit eating grin lit up Yeol’s face as he winked at Junmyeon, whispering a remark to Baekhyun and Jongdae that had equally shit eating grins forming on their faces. 

Junmyeon rolled his eyes, getting up and holding his hand out to you, “Let’s go,” 

An appreciative smile fell upon your lips as you grabbed his hand. He was warm and inviting, the calloused skin comforting as it cupped your own.

Junmyeon led you outside into the cool night wordlessly, the small breeze sending a shiver down your spine as you felt the temperature drop from being inside the heated bar. 

“Its lovely,” Junmyeon hummed, his eyes trained on the twinkling stars above the you both.

“I remember when we went stargazing that time,” You whispered into the night air, rubbing your arms gently as the wind licked at your skin, “The stars always remind me of you,” 

He turned to you slightly, eyes twinkling much like the stars stretched out above you, “Really?” 

“Yeah,” You hummed, leaning into him for warmth as the summer night proved to be cooler than anticipated, “I don’t know why, they just do.” 

Junmyeon wrapped a comforting arm around you, pulling you into his body as an attempt at warming you. Your body instinctively reacted, moving to further press yourself against his warmth. It caused the familiar smell of cigarettes and worn leather to tickle your nose. He’d always smelt like that - yet it wasn’t acrid or invading, it was comforting. There was an undertone to it that always had him smelling like home. 

“Take my jacket,” Junmyeon urged, moving to slip the worn leather off his shoulders. You nodded, threading your arms through the jacket casually. He’d had the jacket since forever, and it wasn’t the first time you’d worn it. The black leather knew you well, it was soft and soothing, coaxing a warmth into your skin that the breeze snatched away.

Junmyeon walked a little further to where he parked his pride and joy - a Harley his brother, Dongkyu, had bought for him as soon as he got his motorbike licence. It meant a lot to him, the bike being his one relief when things got too thick at home with his parents. He was always able to escape - and after graduation he did, moving in with Dongkyu and starting a new life. 

You wrapped the oversized jacket further around you, humming in content as you let Junmyeon’s scent wash over you. 

“Here,” He handed you his spare helmet, slipping his own over his head. You followed his actions, buckling the helmet on with ease. 

“Can we go through the city?” You asked, watching him seat himself on the bike, a smirk resonating on his lips as his eyes flicked to your own. 

“You want a joy ride?” Junmyeon asked, his biceps bulging slightly through the thin cotton shirt as he adjusted himself on the bike. 

You nodded in response, “Please,” His body was warm as you shuffled on behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso tightly and situating yourself on the bike.

Junmyeon smirked to himself as he felt you press up against him, his wrist cocking to rev the engine of the Harley, the deep rumble making you grip him tighter.  

“Hold on tight, baby girl.” 

Your giggles mixed with the heavy sounds of Junmyeon’s laughter as he parked the bike outside your small house. 

“So I assumed you enjoyed it?” He smirked, eyes twinkling mischievously in the dim light of the street lamp.

“Yeah, until the cops started chasing after you for speeding!” You whacked his arm teasingly, the smirk on your face giving away your enjoyment of the chase. 

“Yeah, yeah,” He teased, a grin twisting on his lips as he helped you out of the helmet, “You still enjoyed it.” 

You hummed, smoothing down your hair as you watched Junmyeon remove his own helmet, “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” You winked at him, walking up to the porch and pulling out your keys, “You’ll never know.” 

He huffed, placing a hand on the small of your back as you unlocked the door to your house. “I think the smirk on your face gives it away,” Junmyeon cooed, poking his tongue out in childish annoyance. You giggled again, the sound causing the butterflies to resurface in his stomach. 

“Okay, okay, I liked it,” You caved, smiling up at him as you leaned on the wooden door frame. Junmyeon’s smile lit up at your admittance - even though you’d been obvious about your distaste for his clash with the law, you couldn’t deny the adrenaline rush that came with winding down the back alleyways and the whine of the sirens. And he couldn’t help but get a kick out of the way you succumbed so easily to the past time you scolded him for. 

“Thank you,” Your voice was deeper, more serious as you let yourself get lost in the twinkle of his eyes. 

“Any time,” He spoke, a smile lighting up his words as he leaned on the front door, “I’m glad you had some fun.” 

You huffed a small smile, reaching up to pat down some of his hair that stuck up from the helmet. Junmyeon couldn’t help the way he so easily melted into your touch, eyes fluttering closed as he relaxed and let you smooth down his hair.

“Big baby,” You muttered, slipping your hand down to poke his cheek, “You haven’t changed since high school.” 

He melted, the smile on his face softening as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, Junmyeon once again being unable to help himself. You leaned into his touch, the callouses caressing your cheek in a comfort you found only he could provide. 

“Dummy,” He whispered back teasingly, unable to come up with a good enough remark. 

You giggled, stomach fluttering in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time. You sensed the way your body wanted to inch closer, move into Junmyeon and melt into him. Part of you disregarded it - but the other part, the one that you listened to all those years ago when you were in school, told you otherwise. 

His eyes flicked to your lips and your breath hitched slightly, your body anticipating his next move.

Junmyeon leaned in slightly, enough so you could move away if you wanted - but you couldn’t. Your feet were rooted to the porch, your body planted there as he closed the gap. 

The kiss was gentle and despite your frozen state, you managed to kiss back. His lips moulded with yours in a delicate dance you’d both been wanting to take for years. 

Part of you still believed that you had gotten over Junmyeon; but you suppose you hadn’t, not when you so instantaneously kissed him back. It was natural, the way your body moved into his, pressing against his broad chest as you both deepened the kiss slightly. 

Junmyeon pulled away first, his lips pulling away only slightly, eyes boring into your own as if they were searching for what you were feeling. You looked back at him openly, leaning up slightly to peck him gently before pulling away properly. 

“Thanks Jun,” You smirked, slipping his leather jacket off your shoulders and holding out to him. It took a moment of registration before his own smirk crept onto his face, grabbing the jacket off you before leaning in again and landing a chaste kiss to your lips.

A giggle sounded from you as you moved toward him, letting yourself be swept up in another kiss of his. Junmyeon smiled into it, one hand resting on the small of your back and the other cupping your cheek as he kissed your breath away. 

“I really have to get inside,” You giggled between kisses, squeezing his biceps and attempting to pull away. 

He couldn’t help the goofy, love sick smile that spread across his face, “I won't keep you any longer,” Junmyeon chuckled, reluctantly moving back to let you in. 

A light blush scattered your cheeks as you opened the front door, walking in and turning around to face him, “Goodnight, Junmyeon.” 

“Goodnight,” He smiled, leaning in to steal at least one more kiss from you; which you did enthusiastically, unable to hold back the smile as you kissed him for the last time that night. 

Junmyeon pulled away, landing a peck to your cheek with a wide smile spread across his face - which you mirrored with your own. 

“See ya,” He cooed before turning around and wandering back down to his bike.

You stood there for a bit, leaning on your door frame and offering him a small wave as he strapped his helmet back on, not properly going inside until you saw him speed up the street and off into the night. 

“Dongkyu!!” Junmyeon barged into their shared house, the entranceway leading straight off into the messy living room where Dongkyu sat. 

“What?” He replied, chewing on a sandwich and kicking his feet up on the coffee table, a rerun of some shitty cooking show lighting up the dark space.

Junmyeon flopped on the couch next to his brother, a love sick smile lighting up his features, “Guess.”

“Ya, you shit just tell me,” His older brother whined with a mouthful of sandwich, flicking him in the head playfully. 

“Something happened,” He replied, his smile widening as he remembered the stolen kisses.  

“Yeah, and spit it out,” Dongkyu sassed, cocking an eyebrow and taking another bite. 

“I kissed her,” Junmyeon sighed, staring off into the distance with that love sick grin as his memories replayed the moment over in his head.

“Which one?” Dongkyu teased, a shithead grin rising on his face as Junmyeon slapped him in the arm. 

“You know which one, dumbass.” He scoffed, shoving his brother with his foot playfully. 

“Ahhhh, the one that you’ve been into since high school.” Dongkyu said casually, continuing to munch on his food.

“I haven’t been into her since highschool! Only at my birthday!” Junmyeon replied defensively. 

“You punched a hole in the wall when she got a boyfriend,” Dongkyu swallowed, “You’ve liked her since highschool.” 

Junmyeon rolled his eyes, “Shut up, Kyu.” He huffed, getting up to walk into the connected kitchen. 

“You love me,” He called out to his younger brother, attention now back onto the TV screen in front of him. Junmyeon chuckled, starting to prepare some dinner for himself.

“You sure about that?” He smirked, slapping some cold meat between some bread.

“Absolutely certain,” Dongkyu said cockily, walking up to the sink and putting away his dirty plate, “You ask her on a date or did you just suck face?” 

“We just kissed,” Junmyeon sighed, taking a bite of his food, “Though I’ll ask her on one.” 

“Make it special, you haven’t taken a chick on a date properly before,” Dongkyu advised more seriously.

“Hey-”

“Don’t even try to deny it, you’ve been blowing your load and hitting the road since high school, Jun. Now you’ve finally got a girl, make it special. I know you want to woo Y/N, so take her out on like a picnic or something.” He cocked an eyebrow at Junmyeon, “You got that?” 

Junmyeon rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah,” 

Dongkyu raised his eyebrows, “Shit head, don’t ‘yeah, yeah’ me, I’m giving you advice.” 

Junmyeon chuckled, looking toward his older brother, “I’ll take her out then.” 

“Good,” Dongkyu huffed a small smile, ruffling his brother’s hair, the thick stands matching his own.

Dongkyu and Junmyeon were about as close as brother’s could get. They shared the same handsome features and thick hair as well as academy smarts, and even the same house. Their upbringing making each other the only people they could turn to when things went out of control with their parents - Dongkyu even going as far to try and adopt Junmyeon when he turned 18. It was the least he could do to try and get his brother away from his parents. 

Though it didn’t go to plan, government adoption policies forcing their way between the relief Junmyeon needed. It was one of the things that made him realise the law never really was the help that him and his brother needed, his rebellious streak growing throughout his teenage years when shit really started to hit the fan.  

But he always had Dongkyu to turn to, and even though he wanted to talk to you about it, it was hard when he knew you couldn’t relate to what he was going through. Junmyeon didn’t need sympathy - he needed his brother. 

“Go shower, you stink,” Dongkyu smirked, poking his brother in the side playfully.

Junmyeon scoffed, swallowing the last of his dinner, “Not as bad as you,” He retorted, wandering off toward the bathroom.

“Idiot,” Dongkyu muttered to himself, huffing a smile as he continued doing the dishes. 

Junmyeon was surprisingly nervous.

He waited outside the bar casually, leaning on the worn brick with a cigarette between his teeth. He knew your shift would end soon and you would walk out the front just like you always did. 

Though this time it was different. He hadn’t spoken to you since last night and he was worried that you were just being nice, that maybe it hadn’t mean anything and he was just overthinking it.

It was sending him into a spiral of love sick thoughts, ‘what ifs’ swirling around his head in a destructive path. Junmyeon had never been this impacted by a girl - he never got feelings or into relationships. 

His heart skipped a beat as you walked out of the front doors and into the night. You didn’t notice him at first, too focused on putting something in your bag.

“Y/N?” Junmyeon asked tentatively, standing up properly rather than leaning on the wall.

“Myeon!” You smiled widely, turning to him. It was a pleasant surprise finding him out here, relief and nervousness washing over you as you sensed what he was going to talk about.

Junmyeon’s face lit up in an equally wide smile, flicking the cigarette butt into the nearby bin and walking closer to you, “How are you?” 

“Good,” You responded, a light blush scattering on your cheeks as you sensed the tension between you both - the tension of an unspoken event, “You?” 

“I’m great,” He said nervously, reaching up to scratch the nape of his neck like he always did when something was bothering him, “But I’m not really here to talk about that.”

“What’s up?” You hummed, trying to disguise your erratic heartbeat or the way your palms were sweating. 

“I was, uh, thinking about last night…” Junmyeon trailed, eyes flicking to the ground as a blush of his own scattered his cheeks.

“And?” You prompted, desperately trying not to chew your lip in anxiety.

“I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date sometime?” His hand stilled on his neck, a new found fear of rejection pumping through him.

“I’d love to!” You lit up, a weight being lifted off your shoulders as your heart swelled. You’d been scared that maybe Junmyeon didn’t feel the same, even though all the signs were saying otherwise. The kiss had reopened old feelings that had been waiting to burst for a while - sometimes seeping through the cracks when you would indulge in his beauty or the way his laugh always cheered you up. But it all flooded out in a climax of last night; the kiss. 

“Great!” Junmyeon’s smile widened, the anxiety easing away at your enthusiasm. 

You giggled, unable to contain your happiness. “I have a day off tomorrow if you wanna do something then?” 

The goofy smile on his face was contagious as he looked to you, “Tomorrow night then?” 

“Sounds like a date,” You teased, winking at him.

Junmyeon chuckled at the gesture, holding his hand out, “Need a lift home?” His smile twisted into a smirk as you reached out to hold onto his calloused skin. 

“Only if I get to wear the jacket,” You giggled, squeezing his hand and interlacing your fingers, leaning into him slightly.

“Deal,” 

The hum of cicadas filled the summer night air. 

It was beautiful, the moonlight dancing over the calm water, the small summer nights breeze keeping the weather from being stagnant. 

But Junmyeon’s hearty laugh easily topped all that. 

He sprawled out on the picnic blanket, laying on his side and looking up to you sitting close by. 

“So you’re telling me that Dongkyu told you to ask me out?” You giggled, reaching over to brush some hair out of his eyes. 

“I was gonna! It's just that he was nagging me!” Junmyeon pouted, gently leaning into your touch. 

You laughed, the melody making him light up as the wind carried the sound away. “Its okay, I know this is your first sort of date,” You hummed, smiling at him gently, toying with the strands of his hair.

Junmyeon scoffed, “I’ve been on plenty of dates-” 

“Baby, making out behind the bleachers isn’t a date.” You giggled, leaning down to kiss him gently. 

“Well I haven’t been on a date like this,” He mumbled into your lips, “Nor have I ever taken anyone here before.”

You hummed, letting the sound of the small waves fill the silence on the cliffside, “You haven’t?” 

Junmyeon shook his head, “I’ve been coming here for years, it's my little escape.” 

Your smile widened, sitting back up to watch the ocean over the cliff, “Its lovely,” You were flattered, unable to ignore the way your heart squeezed as you realised he was letting you into the intimate parts of himself. 

“I know,” Junmyeon sat up properly, scooching closer to you and snaking his arms around your waist, “I wanted to share it with you.” 

His warmth and familiar scent surrounded you as you leaned back into him, getting lost in the small bubble you shared. 

“I figured out why the stars remind me of you,” You whispered into the night, looking up to watch the expanse of the night sky twinkle with the little jewels.

“Why’s that?” He hummed, nuzzling your neck affectionately.

“Because your eyes, they twinkle like the stars when you’re happy,” You giggled, smiling up at the moon. 

Junmyeon huffed a smile into the supple skin of your neck, his lips placing a fleeting kiss before pulling back, “Really?” 

You hummed in agreement, tracing patterns onto his hand, “Yeah, they always get this little spark in them.” 

He looked at you adoringly, leaning in to steal a kiss from you under the moonlit night. His kiss was a drug, taking your breath away, his lips moulding your own, sparking a light in you that no one else could - Junmyeon being the only person to have this affect on you.

You pulled back slightly, resting your forehead against his. You allowed yourself to indulge in the intimacy of the moment; the way your hearts became one and the only witness being the moon, watching two lovers indulge in each other beneath her watchful gaze. 

Junmyeon’s cheek was warm as you brought a hand up to cup the soft skin, your thumb gently caressing the lines of his face. 

“I’ve never felt like this about someone,” He admitted, voice low and quiet as he spoke, “I think…” He trailed, tongue darting out to moisten his lips as his heart weighed heavy with the confession, “I think I love you.” 

You smiled, unable to hold in the way joy flooded your veins. You wanted to shout it from the rooftops, scream it until everyone knew that the man you’d loved since high school, loved you back. 

“I think I love you too,” You hummed, feeling relieved at the admittance. You knew it was early, that it was a ‘taboo’ thing to say on a first date. But you couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t just a first date. 

Junmyeon’s eyes darkened, the chocolate orbs swimming under the dim moonlight as he brought his hands up to cup your cheeks, “I want to be the reason you smile… the reason you laugh, the reason you’re happy. I want to see you everyday and I want to be the one you say good morning and good night to… I just want to be with you so much it hurts, Y/N.” He was still whispering, though his voice was serious, “I love you so much it hurts.” 

You melted, slipping your hand down from his cheek to rest your palm over his chest, letting Junmyeon’s touch take over. 

“Jun…” The nickname fell off your lips in a choked whisper, your brain jumbling as you tried to collect yourself from the tidal wave of emotion that overtook you.

He didn’t need words, the emotions you felt being released in the deep kiss he brought you into. You tried to pour all your love into it, kissing back with a burning passion you’d been suppressing all those years, your hands bundling the fabric of his shirt up as you held onto him for dear life. 

Junmyeon kissed back, letting himself be engulfed by the searing passion of your lips. He knew you didn’t need to tell him anything back - he already felt it in the way you kissed him. 

You both pulled away, breathing heavy in the small space between you. Junmyeon rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, basking in the moonlight and your love. 

“I love you, Junmyeon,” You whispered, letting your own eyelids flutter shut. 

“Thank you for tonight,” You said, smiling up at Junmyeon as you both stopped on your front porch. 

“The pleasure is all mine,” He hummed, a goofy smile still planted on his lips as he remembered all the stolen kisses and moments you shared on the cliffside. 

You chewed on your lip nervously, a light blush scattering your cheeks as you worked up the courage to ask, “Would you like to come in?” 

Junmyeon shrugged, lips twisting into a small smirk, “Sure,” He hummed, watching you unlock the front door. 

“You don’t have to,” You stated, walking in while trying to make an excuse for wanting to spend more time with him, “I just thought you’d want to. Get you out of Dongkyu’s hair for the night.” You chuckled, trying to make it light hearted. 

Though the way Junmyeon’s hand sat heavy on the small of your back, or how you were hyper aware of his burning presence right behind you, made the situation anything but light hearted. 

“Its fine,” Junmyeon’s voice was thick in the dark entryway, his heel gently kicking the door shut behind him and enclosing you in the small space with him. He seemed to pick up on the way your breath hitched, how your body tensed up in anticipation. 

It caused the tension in the room to change dramatically, Junmyeon’s breathing mirroring your own as he reached out in the darkness and pulled you into his body. His hand was on your cheek while the other one held you against him on the small of your back. 

“Is this okay?” He asked, the darkness only revealing a silhouette of him.

“Yeah,” You breathed, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck and pulling yourself into him. 

“Good,” Junmyeon leaned in, closing the gap and bringing his lips to yours heatedly. He tried to keep it sweet, yet he couldn’t restrain the want and lust that projected through it. His grip on you tightened, pulling you further into him as he stumbled toward your room, keeping the kiss. 

You gasped into it, fingers tangling in the thick locks of his hair as he haphazardly walked down the hallway. Junmyeon’s hands started to travel, the hand on your back now slinking down to cup the curve of your ass while the one on your cheek held onto your side. His touch was burning through your clothes, your body arching into him as he continued to clumsily fall back onto your bedroom door. 

“Fuck,” He muttered, breathing heavy and letting go to open the door and stumble in with you.

You were on him instantly, his touches leaving you aching with want and desire as you slipped your fingers under his leather jacket, discarding the worn material. Junmyeon responded with his own wandering hands, reaching down to pull your shirt off roughly, his lips crashing against your own as he threw it into the depths of your room. 

There was no need for words - the heavy breaths you shared being the only go ahead you needed. Junmyeon’s lips traced a dangerous line down your jaw and neck, nipping and sucking in all the right places while his fingertips danced across your back to unclasp your bra. A small moan fell off your lips as the fabric fell onto the floor, his quickened pace heightening the desperation and lust rushing through you. 

Junmyeon backed you up against the bed gently, giving you a soft push toward the plush surface. You fell back onto your back reluctantly, though you didn’t argue as you watched him at the foot of the bed.

His nimble fingers were already discarding his shirt, allowing you to see the silhouette of his defined muscles in the low light. The moonlight pouring in through the window allowed Junmyeon’s features to light up, the silver of his countless scars shimmering in the dull moonbeams. Your eyes raked over his body as you shuffled up the bed, your teeth tugging on your lip as you continued to appreciate him before you.

Junmyeon huffed a smirk, eyes flicking to your own as he noticed the arousal you got from watching him strip. His fingers unbuckled his belt, allowing him to pull down the tight jeans from his thighs. 

A strange feeling washed over you as you watched the muscles constrict in the low light, or how the toned skin disappeared above the hem of his boxers. You wanted to mark them - the desire leaving you breathless as you continued to watch him take off his pants. 

He left his boxers untouched, opting to move onto the bed. Junmyeon’s body moved fluidly as he brought himself over the top of you, caging you to the mattress. 

“Do you want to stop this before it goes beyond the point of no return?” His voice was thick, lips barely touching yours as his breath fanned over the sensitive skin.

“No,” You whispered back before crashing your lips into his. 

Junmyeon growled into the kiss, his body flush against yours, his arousal hard and thick through his boxers as it pressed against your abdomen. His lips started to wander once again, placing wet kisses down your jaw and neck, tracing the red and purple marks he left before. 

Though he started to go further south, nipping your collarbone before trailing toward your breasts. Your fingers tangled in his hair once again, winding in the thick strands as you watched him place a fleeting kiss to your nipple. 

Junmyeon smirked as he felt you tense at the action, enclosing his lips around your nipple and sucking on the sensitive bud. His action sparked a small moan to fall off your lips as you felt arousal pool in your clothed core. 

He pulled away, blowing on the nipple to make sure it was hard enough; sensitive enough for him to toy with. You felt yourself clench involuntarily, watching him work you up as his lips continued to suck on the sensitive nub. 

Your thighs rubbed together through your pants, trying to get some friction to your desperate arousal, but Junmyeon wouldn’t have it. One of his hands slipped between your thighs, opening them slightly as he settled himself between your legs, stopping you from closing them. 

“Focus on me,” He whispered, lips swollen and a dark shade of pink you couldn’t see in the low light, “Focus on the pleasure I’m giving you.” He finished, going back to your nipple and continuing to push you to the edge. 

Once Junmyeon was satisfied with the heavy breaths that fell off your swollen lips and they way your chest heaved with every flick of his tongue, he moved to the next nipple. His lips repeating the action on the other one, tongue and lips mirroring the pleasurable strokes he had given to the other bud. 

You couldn’t help the moan that you elicited into the dark room, the noise replacing the heavy breaths and small whimpers you had been making. 

“That’s it baby girl,” Junmyeon muttered into your supple skin, placing a fleeting kiss just above your navel, “Let daddy know how good you feel.” 

You felt like you imploded as he spoke the word, your arousal heightening to a point where you felt your clit throb, desperate for attention. A loud moan cascaded off your lips, unable to hold in the way you felt about the nickname. 

Junmyeon smirked at your reaction as he continued his kisses, placing one last peck to your skin as he reached the hem of your pants. Though he didn’t waste any time, fingers hooking in the sides and pulling the fabric down and off your legs. 

You sucked a harsh breath in as you felt the cool air lap at the wet patch on your panties, a small anticipatory moan falling off your lips as you felt his fingers dance up your thighs.

“Princess, you’ve soaked your panties,” Junmyeon cooed, kissing you through the cotton fabric. 

“I-I’m sorry, daddy-” 

“Don’t be,” His voice was stern, cutting off your embarrassed whisper, “I love it.” His eyes met yours, the moon once again lighting up the swirling arousal within the chocolate orbs. Your breath hitched and you threaded your fingers in his hair once again, tugging on the strands in anticipation as the emotion flooded your body. 

Junmyeon’s eyes flicked back down to the wet patch on your panties, his hands rubbing up your thighs to pull your underwear off in a swift motion. A small smirk was planted on his lips as he was revealed your soaked sex, his hands pushing your thighs further apart to see better. 

“So beautiful, baby girl,” He muttered, smirking at you before licking a long stripe up your slit, “Tastes even better.” Junmyeon cooed, his long tongue making the action more pleasurable than you could imagine, a moan being the only thing you could respond with. 

He circled his arms around your thighs, bringing them to sit on his shoulders as he brought his face closer to your pussy, his breath fanning over your soaked arousal. You could barely comprehend anything other than Junmyeon, the anticipation of him clutching your body in a vice like grip as you waited painfully for him to do something. 

Yet he didn’t waste any time, bringing his lips to your dripping heat in a soft caress that had you melting into him. His lips sucked deliciously against the bundle of nerves that had a coil of pleasure already tightening in your stomach. 

“Daddy,” You moaned the name unabashedly as his tongue flicked your clit, his own lips parting to moan into your pussy, the vibrations sending a shot of pleasure coursing through your body. Junmyeon was slow and precise, your juices coating his chin and lips as he lovingly ate you out, urged on by your moans and tugs at his hair. 

His tongue slid down toward your entrance, the muscle entering you slowly as he curled it up to find your gspot. You moaned for the upteenth time at the sensation, his long tongue making the action effective as the tip grazed your spot, coaxing the coil to tighten and your clit to throb from lack of attention. 

Junmyeon moaned again into your pussy, the taste of your juices causing his own arousal to heighten and his cock to harden, though this wasn’t about him. He was focusing on your pleasure, not his own. 

He coaxed the tip of his tongue against your spot, urged on by the way your thighs shook, the muscles threatening to clamp around his head. Though he loved the way your hips lifted into his face, desperate for more yet his grip pinned you to the bed, leaving you at the mercy of him. 

Junmyeon pulled his tongue out slowly, licking another long stripe up your slit, a moan filling the dark space as the muscle grazed your sensitive clit. The coil in your stomach tightened and you were desperate for the snap, the plunge into the abyss, yet he was edging you with his slow pace. 

“C-Can I cum?” Your voice was breathy, the question left hanging in the air, “Please daddy?” You tried to choke it out between moans as he delivered a harsh suck to your clit. 

Junmyeon growled against you as you spoke the name - his cock throbbing from the way you half whined it. The two syllables sending him crazy as he pulled away from your pussy slightly, your glistening arousal dripping from his lips. 

“Of course,” His eyes flicked to yours momentarily and your grip on his hair tightened as his lips connected back to your clit. Junmyeon was sure to focus on the sensitive nub as he brought his tongue flicking over it, lips sucking harder on the bundle. 

All you could manage was small whimpers as you felt his pace pick up drastically, the fast and hard strokes the complete opposite of the slow and steady ones before. The coil in your abdomen tightened, your pussy clenching around nothing as you felt yourself cascade toward an orgasm. 

The heat pulsating throughout you built up to a stifling climax that had a broken cry of Junmyeon’s name fall off your lips, the coil snapping harder than you’d ever felt as you plummeted into the abyss. Your toes curled, your back arched and your legs shook from the intensity of a release that his lips brought you toward. A choked moan filled the space as he coaxed the orgasm out of you, grip tightening on your thighs and keeping you planted there until he was sure you were satisfied. 

Junmyeon pulled away from you with a smirk, tongue darting out to lick up the remnants of your orgasm off his lips. “So tasty, Princess,” He cooed, voice thick as he kneeled before your wrecked state. 

Your breathing was heavy as you came down from your high, your body succumbed to him yet the burning in your loins left you craving more. The moonlight hit him once more, the silvery light illuminating him discarding his boxers and revealing his prominent arousal. 

You gulped at the thick length, his cock completely hard, the head red, just begging for attention as he started to move back over you. 

“How was it?” He brought his face up to yours, eyes swimming with lust and desire as he positioned himself over you. 

“Perfect, daddy,” You whispered, cupping his cheek and bringing your lips up to his in a tender kiss.

Though Junmyeon soon broke it, pulling back to position his body and ask a muttered, “You ready?” Your nod of confirmation was all he needed, settling between your legs and lining himself up as you relaxed into the bed, anticipation once again flooding your senses. 

Junmyeon groaned as he entered you with ease, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he buried himself to the hilt. A small moan escaped your lips, the stretch of his thick girth was delicious as you let yourself accommodate to his size. 

Junmyeon’s breath was hot on your neck as he waited for your go ahead, “Just say when you’re ready, baby girl.”

“I’m ready,” You whispered, snaking your arms around his sides and holding onto his muscular back.

He pressed a gentle kiss to the skin of your neck as he started to move his hips, keeping the pace slow. His thrusts were hard yet unhurried, taking his time to please you, savoring the slight contraction of your walls around his girth.

A moan fell off your lips as he started to thrust harder, his hips absolutely pounding into you, yet his pull back was slow, letting you feel every inch, ridge and vein of his cock. Your nails dug into the hard muscles of his back as his cock rubbed against your spot, a choked moan escaping you. 

Junmyeon grunted, the sound sending shivers of pleasure straight down your spine and into the heat of your arousal. He continued to place small kisses to your neck, planting small love bites along the supple skin as he continued to fuck you hard. Though his muttered praises would send you closer to your second release with every syllable.  

“You take daddy’s cock so well, Princess.” You felt his lips graze your neck and his breath fan over the shell of your ear, the sensation causing your back to arch into him, your nails digging angry crescents into his back as a small whimper fell off your lips. The sound caused Junmyeon’s hips to stutter as he neared his climax, his fingers tightening in the sheets as he tried to hold out for you. 

You ground back onto his thrusts, the need for release already gripping your body as the coil started to build up again, though he stilled as you did so, pinning you to the mattress with his hips.

“Please,” Junmyeon whispered into your ear, “Let me take my time,” He placed a fleeting kiss to your shoulder, “I want to make this special.”

You smiled gently, letting your eyes flutter shut as he pulled back, “Of course,” You whispered back, choking a small moan as he pounded back into you. 

Junmyeon snaked a hand between your bodies, bringing the pad of his thumb against your throbbing clit and rubbing tight circles into the sensitive nub. The action caused your back to arch and a string of lewd moans to fall off your lips as the combination of his cock and his thumb brought you closer to the edge. 

The coil within you started to build up to a familiar high, your body gripped with a vice like apprehension of your oncoming release. Your walls clenched around him involuntarily, causing Junmyeon’s hips to stutter as his thrusts became sloppier. 

“Baby girl, I’m gonna cum,” He groaned in your ear, rubbing faster on your clit but still never speeding up his thrusts. 

“C-Cum in me, daddy,” You half moaned, half whined as you felt yourself edge impossibly closer. 

Junmyeon couldn’t contain it anymore, his climax exploding as he buried himself deep inside of you to cum. A low moan left his lips as he came, hips still trying to thrust through to bring you to your own release, his thumb caressing your clit faster.

Though you didn’t need it, your own climax crashing down on you as he came, the sensation sending you over the edge as your body succumbed to its second high. A loud moan sounded throughout the room as you came, your body shaking from the intensity. 

Junmyeon groaned, the sound heavy in the room as he tried not to flop on top of you, his body exhausted from the sex. He rolled off you, pulling out and leaving you with an empty feeling as the mattress shifted to accommodate him flopping next to you. 

“Thank you for that,” He whispered, breathing heavy and still coming down as he settled into the sheets. 

“No problem,” You smiled, rolling over onto your side with a small wince as you felt the aftermath of his hard pace.

“I can stay the night, yeah?” Junmyeon asked, reaching out through the sex stained sheets to pull you into him. 

“Of course,” You hummed, resting your head against his firm chest, your body melting into his familiarity. 

“Thank you,” He sighed, eyes fluttering shut and letting out a small breath of relief, “I’ll go grab a towel to clean you up.” He stated before placing a small kiss on the crown of your head and getting up. 

Junmyeon shot up, the shrill sound of his phone carrying throughout the dark bedroom. The sudden action caused you to rouse from your sleep, the heels of your palms rubbing your tired eyes as the ringer cut through your dream state.

Junmyeon grabbed the phone haphazardly, answering the call while scrubbing his tired face with his other hand.

“Yeah, what is it?” His groggy voice sounded throughout the room as you rolled over to face him a small mumble of “who is it?” falling off your lips. 

The tension in the room changed as you heard a serious voice through the receiver; “Is this Kim Junmyeon?”

“Yes,” He answered, swallowing thickly with an instant change of tone, “Who is this?”

“I’m Dr Jang from Ridgeside hospital, I’m calling in regards to your brother Dongkyu.” The tone was serious, their voice heavy and you felt the way Junmyeon tensed, the way his voice cracked as he confirmed;

“Dongkyu?”

#this took me three days to write heck #taenibearsnet #junmyeon #exo #kpop #junmyeon smut #junmyeon fluff #junmyeon angst #junmyeon x reader #exo smut #exo fluff #exo angst #exo x reader #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop x reader #kpop angst #suho #suho smut #suho x reader #suho angst #suho fluff

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Stay Ch. 19

Master: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: A little violence (kinda) and a lot of feelings

A/N:  HOLY SHIT I AM SO SORRY! I had no intention for this to take over a fucking month. But Endgame fucked me up so hard (in the best way, I think I earned those hurts with the shit I write here lol) and just life, in general, has been NUTS (also in a really good way).

I honestly cannot thank you all enough for being so goddamn patient and supportive while you waited for this chapter. Some folks have to deal with really demanding and dickish followers but I’m over here getting asks and DMs of y’all wishing me well and shit. HOW AM I THIS LUCKY?!

I hope y’all like this one.

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Post Snap: Wakanda

Shock settles cold and heavy over Natasha’s shoulders.

Her gaze has been on the blank screen of her phone for an unknown amount of time. She’d tried to call… but all communication had been cut off, Wakanda locking itself away… A knock from the door behind her causes her to jump, sending the phone clattering to the floor.

“Sorry,” Bruce’s tone is cautious. “The jets almost ready.” They needed to get home… She knows people need them but…

“I can’t.”

“Nat… we have to-”

“No. I have to find her Bruce…”

There’s pity in his eyes, “Natasha… the odds…”

“Go,” Steve’s voice comes from the hall, rough and low. She steps out holding his haunted expression. A set of keys sail in her direction, “There’s a bike you can take outside…” Steve pauses, taking a shaky breath before continuing, “Outside Bucky’s place.”

A touch of warmth fills her chest. He already knew what she’d need to do. Her fingers curl around the keys. “Thank you.”

The moment she’s outside of Wakanda’s protective barrier she tries to check for the message… still, she can’t get through…

A scream threatens to rip her apart. She may be able to make it through the end of the goddamn world… through watching members of her small family fall to ash… But she would not survive losing you… not again.

October 2009

“Fuck!” Natasha bellows slamming her fist against the wall.

Months of searching… this had been their last lead. It came up empty. She was supposed to be the best and yet she couldn’t find and save the one person she cared the most for… not even with the resources and blessing of S.H.I.E.L.D…

They’d given her everything she could need. Everyone from Secretary Pierce to Fury throwing their weight behind this, pulling strings no one would even fathom pulling with governments and low lives alike and still not a sign of you. It was as if you’d simply disappeared.

“I’m sorry, Nat…” Clint lays a comforting hand on her shoulder, she shrugs him off.

“We missed something. There’s gotta be… something…” her voice cracks as he takes her by the shoulders.

His sad eyes break something in her, “There’s not, Natasha. She’s… she’s gone.”

“No,” her voice is thick with restrained tears. “She wouldn’t-”

He shakes his head, “I don’t… I don’t think it was a choice… But someone…” Nat shakes her head like a child denying a very obvious truth.

“Clint-” A sob slips out before she can catch it.

He tugs her into his arms, crushing her against his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

That’s it. A guttural sob rips from the deepest parts of her being and her knees give way sending them both to the floor. All she can think is how you’d feel this emotion with her, how you’d understand everything without her having to speak a word…

Slowly her sorrow is replaced with a cold rage. Someone took you from her. They likely caught wind that you’d turned your services over to S.H.I.E.L.D. and thinking you’d give something away… They couldn’t even leave her a body, couldn’t even give you dignity in death.

“We’ll figure out who did this, Natasha.” Clint may not be you but he knew her well enough to read her. “We will.”

Of that, she had no doubt.

-

They never did though…

Fury assigned her to Stark because she was best suited but also because he felt the distraction of deep cover would help. It may have but… Being Natalie Rushman reminded her of your night in Tokyo… There was nothing she could do to escape your memory.

Thankfully it hadn’t lasted long. In less than a year she was back to just being Natasha, back to the Widow, working every job she could. The more exhausted she was the less she felt how hollow she was. The more her body ached the less she missed your touch.

When she stared down a horde of alien invaders she thought that just maybe this was it. She’d go out fighting and save some people in the process. If there was another side well, she hoped you’d be there waiting.

But it wasn’t the end. Somehow they’d pulled off the impossible.

By that point, almost five years had passed. Natasha still missed you on a level that felt impossible to truly convey. But there were days that the ache was less than it had ever been. It wasn’t moving on per-say but it was something like healing.

At the very least now she had the distraction of Steve. She could make him a project. She’d never have the life or happiness she wanted but maybe she could help him find his footing. Maybe one of them could have a chance at happiness, at a life.

There was something she related to in his detachment. She supposed the loss of just about everyone and everything a person knew could be similar to the void you left. So many times she thought of telling him about you, hoping that he’d feel less alone in his pain but… He was a man from the ’40s… She wasn’t willing to risk losing a friend over dated prejudices.

Turned out she should have given Steve Rogers more credit.

When she heard the ballistics on the bullet that killed Fury her blood ran cold. It was him…

So many things had crossed her mind then. Not a single one of them had been that somehow she’d find you because of this.

She’d been so wrapped up in the aftermath of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s demise that she didn’t have time to look at the files she’d released. Thankfully Clint had her back and had been scanning them the moment they’d hit the web.

Just after she’d settled into the tower he showed up looking like he’d seen a ghost.

Fear gripped her. Had she exposed Laura and the kids in her haste to topple Hydra… had she sacrificed everything-

“I found her.”

For a minute the words rang hollow and meaningless.

“Found who?” Steve asked from his spot on her couch.

Clint said nothing, just held her gaze until his shot inevitably hit its target. “I think she’s alive, Nat.” He hands you a file.

With trembling hands, she turns the pages. Scarcely breathing. Steve says something but Clint hushes him.

As the words on the pages soak in she thinks she may vomit. Experiments, tests, torture… kill missions… Riots you’d incited at their command, dignitaries dropping from what appeared to be brain aneurisms. Little subtle things she should have looked for and then the last report… February 2014… nine months prior.

Natasha’s knees give out and she hits the hardwood with a thud. They’d had you for five years…  Her breath stills.

No.

“Natasha!” Clint kneels in front of her, Steve stands at the ready behind him.

Pieces rapidly click into place. All the subtle ties to Hydra since the very moment the two of you met and they meant one thing. My fault. All my fault. They wouldn’t have gotten to you if it weren’t for her. You wouldn’t have let your guard down. You wouldn’t have trusted S.H.I.E.L.D. You’d had a feeling about them from the start but she’d been convinced you were just being overly cautious.

“Nat…”

A raspy breath sucks into her lungs so fast it almost hurts. “I did this.” She breathes out.

“No. No, you fucking did not.” Clint grabs her shoulders, shaking her.

“I did. She wouldn’t-”

“If you don’t shut the fuck up with that I’ll slap you,” she sees Steve shift in the background. “You didn’t do this. They did this and we will get Y/N back.” She says nothing, just stares at a hair on Clint’s shirt, numb. “Do you hear me, Natasha?!”

Slowly her eyes meet his. “Do you hear me?” His tone level now.

“Yeah,” weakly she nods.

-

This was the last base that could possibly be hiding you. The last little flickering ember of hope. With cell after cell empty or filled with rotting bodies, that ember was fading quickly.

Natasha thought when the inevitable realization that you were gone hit her she’d go mad. Screaming, tearing her hair, the full Linda Blair. Instead, she feels… nothing. Not the calm detachment she’s used to but a nothingness so deep she wonders if it’s actually what death feels like.

“Natasha,” Sam’s voice crackles in her comm, “one floor down from you, south side. We think we got her.”

Tingles creep up her spine, feeling electric against her scalp. She won’t believe it. Won’t hope. All Sam and Steve had to go off of were old photos… Who knew what they’d done to you… Natasha ran faster than she ever had in her entire life. The slightest chance that you could be alive was all it took to drive her forward.

Honey. That’s all she wanted to hear in your rich accent. “Please,” she breathes out to anything that would hear her as she sprints down the hall toward where the guys waited. “Please give me her.”

“Where!?” They’re standing before a glass wall and part as if on cue.

The figure slumped on the floor beyond the glass isn’t the woman she remembers. There are bones where once ample curves had been, supple skin replaced with dull bruised flesh, thick hair traded for thin scraggly locks, pink lips for cracked grey things. Honestly, she couldn’t even tell if the person in there was alive.

A small sound ekes from Natasha’s mouth before her hand can fly to cover it. Why had she dared to hope?

Clint’s warm hand settles on her back. She doesn’t know when he arrived or how long she’s been staring. “That’s her, Nat…” He says it like she really doesn’t know like you aren’t a part of her very soul. She’d know you… she’d always know you. But were you-

Your head rolls on your shoulders, a groan sounding through unseen speakers. Natasha’s breath stops. -Alive.

“Hey,” your voice is cracked, low, and hoarse but still… it really is you. Clint grabs her hand tight. “How about you pieces of shit bring me some water?”

Still very you. Unable to wait a second longer she rushes to the door. Desperately she tugs at the handle, clearly locked.

“Rogers, a little help?!”

“Are you sure Nat? We don’t know if-”

“If. I know that if you don’t help me open this door I will break your super-powered body in ways you can’t even imagine.” Every word drips with conviction.

Steve holds up his hands in surrender. With a swift tug and a touch of effort, he pries the door open.

Your head rolls in the direction of the door, “About fuckin’ time. Was beginning to think y’all were just gonna-”

Eyes Natasha has missed for far too long fly wide open. Instead of the joy and love, she was hoping to see, terror floods your features.

“No,” your voice is barely a whisper. “God no please, no.” You bury your face in your knees, covering your ears with your hands, “I’ll do anything you want… don’t make me do this, not again, please. No.” Your body trembles, rocking back and forth.

Natasha doesn’t even hear Steve and Clint warn her to hold back as she kneels before you, tugging your hands from your head. Caution a long forgotten skill. This is you. You need her.

“Baby, it’s me. It’s ok. Look at me, feel-”

“Don’t, please don’t.” Your head shakes back and forth, “They lied, whatever they promised you is a lie. You won’t win, just go. Go. I can’t… I-”

“Y/N,” she tilts your chin up. Red rimmed, fearful eyes, gaze at her. “It’s me.”

“No. Leave, they’re gonna make me… just go. Go now. Tell ‘em I’ll do whatever it is, just leave… please… don’t make me do this…”

She shakes her head, “Do what? Baby, I-”

“Go!” You roar. Behind the word is something else. A force so strong it knocks the wind from Natasha’s chest. “Get out!”

She can’t breathe, her heart begins to trip over itself. Panic, terror, pain, all combine making her brain misfire in every direction. A low keening rises from you, with the sound the emotions become more and more pronounced. Natasha can’t even reach her concern for you anymore, there’s only this, this inescapable feeling of pure fear. Curling into a ball she tries to focus.

Slowly you rise, looking down at her. When her eyes meet yours she’s struck by how black they are, the pupils so huge they seem to take up more space than your irises ever did. They look… inhuman. For a second it quells the suffocating fear.

“Please…” Desperately Natasha reaches up for you, silently begging you to know her, all of her, in that way only you can. Instead, your hand slowly lowers, aimed for her head.

This is fine, Nat thinks, eyes closing. Strangely, she’s at peace with the thought that if she died here, by your hand, at least then you’d feel her, know she came for you even if she was too late.

The distinct crackling of electricity followed by a thud beside her meets her ears. Breath begins to fill her chest as her heart slows. Something happened to you… A new sense of panic breaks her from the stupor she’d fallen into.

You’re unconscious, one of Clint’s shock arrows stuck to your back. Vaguely, Natasha is aware of the shuffling feet near the door. Someone grabs her shoulders. Logically, she knows they’re helping her up but she isn’t operating on logic. Without thought, she blindly lunges at this faceless person. Flesh contacting flesh with an effective smack.  

Ignoring everything and everyone else she crawls to you ripping the arrow off your limp body tugging you into her arms. With every ounce of strength, she has she clutches your back to her chest. Your head lolls on her shoulder as she presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I’ve got you,” Natasha whispers against your skin. “I’ve got you. It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok. You’re gonna be ok, baby.” Tears burn the backs of her eyes, pricking like a thousand needles. She refuses to allow them to fall. Tears won’t help you.

“Nat?” Clint’s voice is level like he’s speaking to one of the kids. “Nat, we need to get her some help. Will you let us do that?”

Clarity dawns. Her eyes scan the room to find Steve rubbing his neck. It was Steve who she’d lashed out at. “St… Steve?”

“I’m ok,” his smile is weak but he’s sincere. “Will you let me carry her?”

The thought of letting you go… but Clint was right. Your skin feels clammy, your breath shallow… scarily so… Natasha nods and he cautiously approaches, not wanting another fist to the throat.

Steve lifts you from her arms like you weigh nothing. Despite his bulk, he’s so gentle, ensuring you’re supported properly. Clint and Sam flank her, making sure she’s steady on her feet before trekking to the jet.

Immediately Sam begins hooking you up to oxygen and a saline drip. He says something about your oxygen levels and heart rate that doesn’t sink in. All Natasha can do is stare at you, horrified and amazed in equal measure that somehow you’re back with her. Somehow after all these years, she has you again.

-

“This isn’t fucking necessary, Tony!” Natasha shakes with rage.

“I think all present parties would disagree.”

Her eyes desperately scan the room for backup but even Clint averts his gaze.

“I don’t know if you blacked out back there but all of us damn near flipped shit when your girl in there did. She’s a bomb and we have no idea what the trip wire is. Until we know exactly what’s going on we need to control the environment she’s in.” Tony collapses in a chair, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t like it either, Nat but he’s right. We have to play it safe. For her sake as much as ours.” Clint looks so tired…

She shakes her head, “She… she won’t know she’s safe… that-” I’m here… Natasha can’t finish the statement though because she knows that’s part of the point. Seeing her had set you off.

“We’re gonna have to keep her partially sedated for at least a few days anyway, Nat.” Sam offers a half smile when she glares at him. “The withdraws from whatever they had her on will be rough, it’d be cruel to keep her fully conscious while she goes through the first part of them. She’ll come to slowly so the change doesn’t shock her.”

She knows Sam’s right. They’d had you on some sick mix of heroin and other chemicals for longer than they knew. It was the perfect combination to keep you desperate and pliable without harming your mind, leaving you an effective weapon for them.

But when she looks at your unconscious form through the view screen she just wants to hold you. Truly it feels as though her whole body is aching to wrap around yours. She wants to be the first thing you see when you wake up but… they took that from you both.

Sam wraps an arm around her shoulders, “I’ll make sure she knows she’s safe, Natasha. Promise.”

-

Post Snap

The rain had slowed but that only meant that cold could settle in. That kind of cold that makes your insides ache.

You can’t bring yourself to move, all you can do is focus on the pain and what it reminded you of…

November 2014

Your whole body throbbed with pain. A deep, aching, hungry kind of pain. It was familiar but you weren’t certain of it until your stomach clenched.

Without ceremony, you lean over the side of the bed and heave, nothing but bile burning up your dry throat.

After you refused to kill the woman they sent you should have known they’d do this. It never took very long for withdrawal to set in and the last time it had been enough to break you… They’d send her in soon enough… And Natasha’s face or not you were fairly certain you’d end her life if it meant stopping the pain.

Anyway, it wasn’t Natasha… Hell, sometimes you wondered if there ever was a Natasha. Maybe your brain, in hopes of surviving, crafted some fantasy to comfort you…

You heave again, abdominal muscles screaming from the effort. “Fuck,” you groan, wiping your cracked lips on your arm.

It’s not until you collapse back into the bed that you realize you’re in a different cell, and this bed… well, it’s possibly the most comfortable thing you’ve felt in years. Interesting tactic for them to take.

The door opens cautiously. A dry laugh tumbles from you. Even if you wanted to attack whoever was on the other side you don’t have it in you. It’s strange though, caution isn’t usually their style.

Slowly a man with a kind smile comes into focus, a tray in his hands. He’s not in uniform, just plain street clothes. Your head cocks to the side, trying to put these pieces in place.

“Hey, thought you may want something on your stomach. Better than heaving up nothing.”

You say nothing, eyes narrowing. Focus, Y/N. Read him, come on. But your brain isn’t in the mood to obey you.

As he approaches, instinctively you curl into yourself. Thoughts of other men, other cells, flash rapidly through your mind setting your heart to thundering. The familiar feeling of your chest splitting open begins but you fight to maintain control. If they thought you attacked him…

The man clears his throat shaking his head a bit as if to fend off a fly. “I’m not going to hurt you.” Slowly he sets the tray of food at the end of the bed. “You can tell if I’m lying right?”

He extends a hand just close enough for you to reach. For a long moment, you just stare at it, confused, trying to work out what the trap here is. It’s always something there’s always something. But maybe if you played along they’d give you want you needed to make the aching stop. Fuck, you just want it to stop.

Hesitantly you let your fingers graze the back of his hand.

Quick as though you touched a hot stove you withdraw. Bad idea. You couldn’t control it. So many images tumble in your mind. Faces, names, voices. A small sound comes from you as your hands grasp your head, trying to keep it from flying apart.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Are you ok? Can you open your eyes?” Sam, his name was Sam, is kneeling beside the bed looking up at you with earnest eyes.

Slowly things come back into focus and you know one thing for certain. He’s not lying to you. This Sam, whoever he may be, does want to help you. You don’t trust him, he could be being used, but it’s been a long time since someone was near you that didn’t mean you harm.

“I… it was too much at once…” Your body relaxes a touch, “Thank you, Sam.”

There’s that familiar flash of surprise before he responds, “Wanna tell me your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Good to meet you,” his smile is true. “Think you can eat something?” Blankly you stare at the trey, the thought of eating making your abdomen clench. “If you can eat a bit I can give you something that’ll help with the pain.”

Saltine crackers had never looked so appealing and horrifying all at once. Taking a deep breath you scoot down the bed and pick one up with a shaky hand.

The salt explodes on your tongue as though it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted. Your stomach growls demanding more. In an instant you’re reaching for another cracker.

“Take it slow,” Sam smiles brightly as he pulls up a chair close enough to be personable but not uncomfortable. “If you’re feeling hungry that’s a good sign. Means your system is getting closer to being clear.”

“What’d they have me on?” You ask before taking a deep drink of water.

A muscle in his jaw ticks, “It was a cocktail. An addictive one.”

You didn’t really need the details, nor did you want them in all honesty. Knowing wouldn’t change anything. One thing you did want to know…

“Where am I?”

Sam holds your gaze, clearly weighing his response carefully. “Somewhere safe.”

“That’s a shit answer.” Your hands shake as you sip the oversized mug of broth. It’s hot and stings your chapped lips a bit but you nearly groan from the taste.

“True.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’re in New York. With people who want to help you. Can that be enough for now?” His sincerity hits you, a warm wave of emotion, unlike anything you’ve felt in so long.

You’re too tired to fight, “For now.” The half-empty mug clatters to the trey as it slips from your hands. Mindlessly you itch at your arms, every nerve feels like it’s tingling, almost enough to drive you crazy.

Sam stands, crossing the room. Your eyes follow him as he places his thumb on a pad causing a small door to open. “This will help that.” He holds up a vile and syringe.

Fear chills your over-warm body instantly. However, your eyes light on your arms, scratch marks red and irritated, and despite the food, everything still hurts… badly. Plus, who gave a fuck what you wanted. He may be kind but you were still in a cell, still a prisoner.

Habitually you hold your arms out. With a gentle touch, he grips your wrist, locating a non-ruined vein and injects whatever new concoction these helpful people have for you.

As it works its way through your blood the aching does quiet some, your nerves stop their incessant tingling. A deep sigh escapes you. Whatever it was it felt good. You’re not sure if it’s the drugs, the food, or just soul-deep exhaustion but your eyes flutter and you sway.

“Here,” Sam grips your shoulders, guiding you to the plush pillows. Suddenly you see a flash from him.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“For what?” Through your half-lidded eyes, you see his confused expression and feel just a touch of fear.

“Your friend. Riley. I’m sorry.”

He looks away, clearing his throat. “Thanks.” When he looks back his eyes are glassy, “Get some rest, Y/N. I’ll check back in on you soon.”

-

It had been six… no seven days… They blurred together into one purgatorial haze.

Natasha hadn’t left the observation room off your cell the entire time. Sleeping on a cot next to the viewscreen just to feel closer to you… when she slept that was. But after Sam had assured her that his exchange with you earlier was an excellent sign she couldn’t seem to keep her eyes open. That little touch of relief better than any sleeping pill.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been out but a sudden cry instantly pulls her from sleep.

You’re still in the bed, very much unconscious, but… You’re thrashing, so much so it’s hard to tell if you’re not seizing. The only thing convincing her that you’re in the grips of a terrible dream is the cries of terror filling her ears. Then…

“Natasha!” Your desperation and pain feel like a bullet straight through her heart. A red light flashes in the observation room, the others are coming, she has to get in there now before anyone can stop her.

“Natasha! Don’t!”Clint’s voice barely hits her ears as the door to your cell slams shut behind her.

For a moment she can’t breathe or move. The air of your cell is thick, swamp-like with your emotions. Taking a deep breath she gathers herself.

With effort, she focuses on every good memory she has of you, every happy moment, every safe tender night and… love. She pulls that core emotion around her like a cloak hoping it will somehow reach you.

“Get out of there, Natasha!” Tony’s voice is harsh through the speaker. She ignores him, almost to you.

A scream accompanied with a wave of abject terror and images of a lab almost send her to her knees. She doesn’t falter though, tears stream down her cheeks, her body shakes but still, she moves toward your thrashing form.

Slowly she lowers herself onto the edge of the bed, laying on her side. Her arms wrap around you, pinning your arms. Her legs do the same around yours holding you steady.

“No!” You screech as your head flings back. She barely avoids the hit.

She’s not feeling the fear you’re pumping out though, not anymore. All she feels is relief. It springs from some part of her she had forgotten about. You’re in her arms, the ache she’s felt for years quieting.

“Y/N, you’re dreaming baby.”

“Natasha, no!” You sob as an image of her own bloody body slams into her. She just holds you tighter.

“That’s not me. I’m right here. I’ve got you, Y/N.” She feels a shift in your body. “Do you hear me? Focus on my voice baby… Come back to me, Y/N… please.”

You gasp, “N… Natasha…”

“That’s right.” You’re no longer thrashing so she slides her hands to grasp yours. “It’s me.” Natasha keeps her mind focused on all those good memories that got her from the door to the bed. Focused on the love she feels for you.

A thick sob bubbles from you causing your torso to shake. You try to turn in her arms and panic grips her, remembering your reaction in the base.

“Keep your eyes closed ok? Can you do that for me?”

You nod and she helps you turn to face her. You’re so gaunt, so clearly battered, but somehow still so fucking beautiful to her.

A trembling hand releases hers rising to find her face. Natasha hears the speaker click, but her free hand shoots up, signaling them to shut up. Your fingers lay gently on her cheekbone, from there they slowly trace her features stopping on her lips.

In a movement as natural to the both of you as breathing you pull one another even closer, your lips fitting together perfectly.

Natasha nearly cries out with joy at that long forgotten warm feeling of love that always flowed form you when your lips met hers. It was thick and golden like-

“Honey.”

@mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree​ @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade​ @5aftermidnight @jeromethepsycho @marvel-randomness @daniellajocelyn @katecolleen​ @yanginginthere​ @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2 @alphalesbianwolf @sxph-t @marvelb00kwolf​ @itsqueenofchains @demonlover87​ @firegoblet01​

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow x reader #queer fic

[bitsandbobsandstuff]

A love that never leaves (8)

Summary: Sometimes when you go looking for the past, you find things you never expected. When an accident brings him face to face with something he never knew he lost, Bucky Barnes begins to understand an age old truth – it’s so easy, sometimes, to love the things that destroy us.

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: Bad language. A brief flash of sexy times and angsty intrigue.

A/N: Several people messaged reminding me that adding links kill searches (Tumblr is utterly ridiculous), so I’ve taken those out. If you want to access the full ALTNL Masterlist, just click the MASTERLIST header on my blog.

That last chapter murdered my heart, I hope it destroyed all of you as well! This week, Bucky gets cockblocked and the mysterious circumstances that brought him back to her take a strange turn. 

Tags are open, if you want on the list please send me a DM or ASK, it’s easier for me to track. Otherwise you can find the new updates each weekend!

Previously...

The poets say when your heart breaks, the world will grind to a halt.

The poets are wrong, she thinks.

When your heart breaks, the world will in fact keep moving. The stars will still shine, the sun will still rise. You will go on living, despite having nothing to live for. The world doesn’t stop for trivial things like grief. It lumbers on, drags you forward kicking and screaming, forcing you to keep breathing, until you’re nothing more than a ghost of who you were.

*****

MISSION REPORT

SECOND ATTEMPT AT CONTACT ESTABLISHED. AWAITING RESULTS.

He thinks to himself.

What will he do when he sees the whites of her eyes?

He grinds his teeth, breathing hard through his nose.

What will he do?

*****

After he came back, Bucky’s therapist encouraged him to ask questions. Anything and everything, the more the merrier. Nothing was off limits. At first, it felt strange, asking someone else to share the basic tenets of his life, but he grudgingly persevered. It was the only way he knew how to get the answers he needed.

The very first time they sat down, Bucky flipped his notepad open to reveal 27 pages, front to back, loaded with questions.

Some were simple.

“What was my favorite color? How did I take my coffee? When did I have my first kiss? What was my favorite book? Who was my favorite ball player?”

One after another, he fired the questions and Steve answered every single one, down to the most boring, insignificant detail. With every response, Bucky turned the words over in his head, testing them on his tongue and repeating them back. Committing them to memory so he could sketch out the simple outline of who he used to be.

Some here harder.

“Why’d I get drafted instead of signing up for the war? Why didn’t I get along with my father? Was I very religious? Why not?”

Those answers were thorny, not always nice and, but Steve replied with full and frank honesty, because there was no one else in the world knew Bucky Barnes as well as Steve Rogers.

It became a common sight, Bucky clutching the bright pink notepad Natasha gave him, carefully writing answers while Steve spoke; Steve was always willing to drop everything to talk.

Now, he recalls one question where Steve stumbled a bit more than usual.

“Did I want to get married?”

An oddly devastated sadness had rearranged Steve’s features, before he offered a vague answer.

“When we were younger, no. During the war, you changed your mind.”

“Why’d I do that?”

“It happens.”

“People usually have a reason. What happened?”

“War happened. And you know, stuff.”

“Why are you being weird?”

“I’m not being weird, I’m just - look, you, um, you met - someone.”

“Who -“

But before he could dig further, the conversation came to a screeching halt. Bells started ringing, lights flashing, an Irish voice coming through the ceiling as FRIDAY announced they were summoned for a mission. Snapping his mouth shut, Bucky tucked the notepad in the waistband of his jeans and leapt to his feet, the question forgotten.

Later, Steve tried to bring it up again, casually mentioning Bucky’s girl and some letters she wrote to him, but by then it was too late. The mission had gone horribly wrong, and Bucky was exhausted and frustrated and close to tears, and he had no desire to remember someone else he’d let down.

Hurtled back to the present, Bucky sits up in the dim light of her bedroom and throws a knee across her hips, boxing her in beneath him. Palms anchored to the bed beside her head, he looks down at her face. Anxious fear flashes through her, something he can’t reconcile. All he knows in this moment, is a desire to smooth it away.

“I don’t - why didn’t you say something sooner?” Bucky whispers. “Why - “

But he stops. He stops, because he knows why.

“Oh,” he says softly, disappointment filling his throat. “No, okay. It’s okay. I get it.”

She watches him glance at the metal arm, his shoulders sagging as he tries to pull away. Her hands fly up, gripping his arms tight, keeping him in place.

“No. You listen to me Bucky Barnes - this was not about you or anything you think you’ve done.” Bucky stares hard, clearly desperate to believe her. “I wanted to tell you, I just - couldn’t hold you to a promise we made seventy years ago. We were different people then, I know that. You have a whole other life now. I don’t expect anything, I don’t - expect you to still want that.”

The sharp ache that hits him whenever he sees her sadness tightens his chest. The words come easily, and he answers without a second thought.

Because really, he doesn’t need to think. They’re the most honest thing he knows.

“Darlin, you listen to me - I said it then, I’ll say it again. This kind of love, it never leaves. I meant that. Even if I don’t remember saying it, I know I meant it. I know I did.”

Hope fills her eyes at his insistence, that fragile kind he could smash with a single word.

Which he never plans to do, as long as he lives.

“Really?” she whispers, brushing her knuckles over his fuzzy cheek and he turns, pressing his lips to them.

“Really,” he says hoarsely.

Curling her fingers behind his neck, she pulls his mouth down and her kiss is soft and sweet and everything he’s been missing his entire godforsaken life. Bucky lets himself drown in her for a brief moment, before breaking the kiss.

“Jesus Christ,” he swears, pulling back. “We were gonna get married and I just fuckin’ left you. I left you. God dammit, I’m - fuck, I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” she says immediately. “It wasn’t your fault, Bucky. None of it was your fault.”

Those magic words, he’s heard them a million times, in a million variations, since the day he came back. They’ve always meant nothing, hollow assurances he actively scorned. He knew better. But now, lying here with her while the dim light of a fresh mountain morning begins to flood the room - he finally lets them soak in.

Maybe he even believes them.

“We were gonna get married,” he says instead, wonder filling his voice. “You were gonna marry me.”

“I was,” she says, and her tentative smile is like the sun. “And you were going to marry me.”

Bucky considers her for a moment before he surges forward. Nothing about the move is coordinated, it’s a messy tangle of tongues and teeth clacking together, a kiss bubbling over with frantic need, as though the world is ending and this is the only way to prevent its demise.

His kiss is frantic and passionate and so utterly Bucky, she can barely breath. Everything he does to her, it kicks her heart into a crazy tailspin and she kisses him back ferociously, drinking up the tiny sounds he makes, the way his lips fit perfectly with hers. It’s enough for forever, the way he spills over so full of life and happiness and love.

And she knows, it’s all for her.

When his hands squeeze her ribcage, fingers playing with the hem of her shirt, his lips move up to her ear with the question she’s been waiting for, and she shivers.

“Can I?”

“Yes, please,” she breathes, and Bucky closes his eyes for a moment, steadying himself.

Slipping his hands beneath her shirt, twin sighs of relief come at the feel of skin on skin. For the first time in decades, that feeling of absolute and total desire crackles through her and she arches into his touch. Sliding his right hand up, gently cupping her breast, he kisses her again and she moans into his lips when he thumbs over her nipple. His left hand hesitates on her belly, hard and cold, but then she grips his wrist firmly and tugs his hand up, placing it on her other breast and hooking her ankle behind his thigh.

Rocking himself against her, Bucky kisses every inch of skin he can find; that smooth space behind her ear, the delicate tendon down her neck, the sharp collarbone above her sleep shirt, his hands teasing relentlessly until she’s breathing fast and hard, pushing herself back against him.

Swallowing his nerves, his fingers drift down. Finding the waistband of her shorts, circling the edge, working up the courage to dip his fingers inside, he takes a deep breath and -

His phone buzzes. Loudly.

“Shit,” he rasps, jerking back. Reaching over to the bright screen flashing on the nightstand, his lust-addled brain fumbles repeatedly and he hits the ignore button three times before it goes silent. The spell is momentarily broken, the room quiet. Breathing hard, he gives her a crooked little grin and kisses the tip of her nose. “Sorry. Way to kill the mood, huh? Where were we?”

“Right here,” she murmurs, pulling his face back to hers and slipping her tongue between his lips. Bucky melts into the touch, feels himself growing painfully hard against her, feels her fingers stroking down the hard planes of his stomach, sliding dangerously close to his -

His phone buzzes. Again.

“Motherfucker,” he growls. Snatching it up, he flips the phone to silent again and throws it across the room for good measure. It lands with a soft thump in the corner and he dives back in for a kiss, feeling her shake with silent laughter.

The laughter turns to a breathless whine when he tugs up her shirt, his mouth finding the soft skin of her belly, sucking and kissing a path higher and higher, licking at the swell of her breast, so close, and god he wants to -

He wants to understand why life can’t just go his fucking way for once, that’s what he wants.

His phone buzzes. Again.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Bucky announces, sitting up on his knees. There’s only one person who has the ability to bypass the silent mode he’s put it on and he’s gonna thoroughly enjoy strangling him next time he sees his stupid face.

Bouncing off the bed, he stomps over to the corner and picks up his phone, pressing the answer button so hard he’s surprised the screen doesn’t shatter.

“What, Steve?” he snaps, frustrated desire turning his voice into a snarl. “What could you possibly fucking need right now?”

“Morning sunshine. Sorry to bother, but we need to talk.”

“I’m incredibly busy at the moment,” Bucky grits out. Watching her snuggle deeper into the blankets, she gives him a lazy smile and he slams his eyes shut so he can focus. “I’ll call you later.”

He tries to hang up, but Steve’s voice is calling out “Wait!”

Bucky vows then and there to steal Steve’s shield when he gets back and brain him with it.

“Jesus Christ fuckin’ fuck. Hang on,” he growls. Stamping down the irritation, he shoots her a look of exasperated apology. “Give me two minutes, okay?”

“It’s okay. I’ll go make coffee,” she replies, crawling out of bed and Bucky feels the overwhelming desire to tackle her and make her to stay put. A whine of dissent slips out and she bites back a smile at his frustration. “Come downstairs when you’re done, maybe we can finish this.”

And then she winks and tiptoes out of the bedroom.

Bucky forces himself not to bolt after her. Instead, he irritably adjusts the situation between his legs and waits until she’s out of earshot before flipping the screen to video. Steve’s semi-apologetic face comes into view.

“This better be real fuckin’ good,” Bucky sighs.

“It’s that signal, up at the Hydra base. It’s gone off again.”

Anger evaporating, Bucky’s eyes narrow. “It’s what?”

“It went off again,” Steve repeats. “I thought you disabled it?”

“I did,” Bucky says slowly. “You’re sure?”

“Tony triple-checked it.” His face morphs into serious Captain mode. “Real talk. Do I need to come out? Is it possible there’s something else happening?”

Bucky thinks back, recalling the layers of dust, the cottony white spiderwebs, the echoes of ancient violence stuffed in that cavernous base. Once upon a time, it contained nightmares, sure. But there was nothing there now. He’s sure.

“No, there was nothing there. I’m sure. Stay home.”

Sky blue eyes scrutinize him through the small screen. “If you’re sure.”

“Positive.”

“Fine.” Steve pauses. “Anything else you want to talk about?”

“Nope,” Bucky answers promptly.

“Sure?”

Exhaling a long-suffering sigh, Bucky gives him a pointed look. “Actually yes. You’re a nosy little shit. Why is that?”

The stoic expression fades and Steve grins. “Probably ‘cause I’m used to your dumbass needing my help all the fuckin’ time.”

Shooting him a mocking glare, Bucky shakes his head. “Fucking hell. What’s the press gonna say when they hear Captain America has such a fuckin’ potty mouth?”

“Expect they’ll blame it on you. Just like my Ma did.”

Bucky snorts. “Touché. I’ll go check it out. Call you later. Dick.”

Steve gives him a goofy, open-mouthed smile and a thumbs up. Bucky presses the end call button hard. Silence blankets the room, and he rubs the heel of his hand in his eye, pushing down a sudden wave of tiredness.

Someday, maybe, just maybe - he’ll be done with this shit.

*****

Rifling through the tidy pile of his clothes folded in the corner of her closet, Bucky dresses quickly, pulling on a long-sleeved shirt, a vest, his white tac pants. Pulling his semi-clean, but still slightly bloody, white coat from a hanger, he shrugs into it. Looking into the mirror, he fingers the two bullet holes in the chest, twitching at the memory of them punching through his flesh.

Opening his backpack, he pulls out his cache of weapons. Chooses his favorite Glock, the old Sig Sauer, his second favorite Glock, his third favorite Glock, tucking them all into their designated holsters. Sheathing a couple knives comfortably in his boots, he ties his snarly hair back and fits the white balaclava over his head.

Standing in front of her mirror, he fixes his mouth into that trademark smirk that normally accompanies a mission outfit and tries to psyche himself up. Clear his mind. Sharpen his nerves.

It sort of works. Except that miserable slump of his shoulders - that refuses to change. Grimacing at the visual, he gives up.

Was he always this tired?

Steeling himself, he heads downstairs, clearing his throat and treading loudly to announce his presence. He doesn’t want to scare the shit out of her, stomping around like the abominable snow monster with weapons coming out his ass.

Standing in the kitchen, she wears her silky cotton sleep shorts and a loose t-shirt. The sight of her pouring two steaming cups of coffee, while the sun begins to fill the cozy little cabin, is almost enough to break him. Say fuck it and tell Steve to come do it himself.

But of course, he won’t. He never does. Because here comes Bucky Barnes. He always makes the shot. He always saves the day.

He sighs.

When she looks up, her budding smile instantly fades. She goes still, the only movement the tight clench of her jaw. She sets the coffee pot down with a quiet click.

“Before you ask,” Bucky starts, “I’m not leaving. Steve called, I gotta go back up to the base. That fuckin’ signal’s going haywire again.”

A spasm of alarm floods her face and she grips the edge of the counter. “Someone’s there?”

“We don’t think anyone’s there,” Bucky assures her. “There’s nothing to indicate that, we think it’s just the tech. Guess I didn’t finish the job last time, so I need to go fix it.”

Considering him for a fleeting moment, she bites her lip and thinks; appearing to make a decision she nods and walks toward him, heading for the stairs.

“I’ll get dressed.”

“No,” Bucky says quickly, catching her arm. “You won’t. It’s nothing to worry about. I don’t want you anywhere near that place. Please.”

Squaring her shoulders, she tugs her arm gently from his nervous fingers and Bucky braces for an argument. But then she simply traces the bullet holes in his jacket, examining the torn edges of white fabric. Contemplating his comment. She meets his eyes and gives him a small smile.

“If it’s nothing to worry about, then it doesn’t matter if I come. Unless you’re saying goodbye for good, I’m not letting you go alone. Is it goodbye for good?”

Even the thought of leaving her makes his breath catch.

“No,” he breathes. “Never.”

Reaching up, she tucks an errant strand of dark hair into the balaclava. Cradles his hot, scruffy cheeks in her cool palms, and kisses his lips.

“Then I’m coming with you.”

Should he argue? Probably. Will he? Probably not. Because having someone love him like this - it just feels too nice.

“Okay,” he concedes. “Get dressed.”

*****

Any roads leading to the base have long since grown over. The only way up is an overgrown trail, accessed through a steep hike. Parking her old, now slightly blood-stained truck to edge of the path, they start to climb. Bucky takes it slow at first, until he realizes she’s waiting patiently for him to go faster.

“Altitude sucks,” he pants, pausing to put his hands on his head. “Think you might be in better shape than me.”

“No,” she replies, offering a hand to pull him up. “I’m definitely in better shape than you.”

Barking out a surprised laugh, he squeezes her fingers.

Ninety minutes later, the entrance appears. Grey on grey, the door blends seamlessly into the mountain rock, it’s curved handle set flush against the heavy metal. On his first visit, it was rusted shut, wind and weather and age an effective deterrent; it had taken him nearly an hour to bust through.

Before they enter, Bucky turns to her and unlatches his favorite Glock from the side holster.

“Guess I don’t need to tell you how to use it, since you’ve already saved my ass,” he watches her tuck her gloves into her coat and take the handle of the gun, double-checking the safety. The fluid gesture twists his gut. Looking up, she gives him a wane smile.

“No. All good.”

It bothers him. Clearly, she knows how to protect herself - he wasn’t there to do it, she had to learn - but he despises the fact that violence has touched her. That he’s tainted her with it himself. He doesn’t want that part of his life to be something they share.

Then and there, he makes himself a promise. If he gets a future with her, he’ll do everything in his power to build her a life free from the sadness that seems so adamant to cling to her. Loving her that way, forever and always - it’s the least he can do.

Pulling off the balaclava, he welcomes the bite of cold air against his sweat damp neck. Reaching into the depths of his white coat, he produces two small flashlights, handing one to her and clicking the other to life, and with a shouldered shove, he opens the door. It swings easily, clean and oiled from his last visit.

Holding the flashlight aloft, he balances his gun on his wrist, rolls his shoulders and starts forward, eyes cautiously sweeping the entrance, as she steps carefully behind.

The hallway twists and turns, snaking deep into the bedrock of the mountain. The air warms as they walk, the depth of the mountain keeping the cold from penetrating; the dampness in the air increases though, negating any warming effects and cutting deep.

Damp cold was the worst kind. It always soaked into his bones. Held tight, refused to leave.

Heavy iron doors hang from broken hinges along the walls, frozen in place through a potent combination of old age and powdery red rust. Bucky’s already rummaged through the small rooms lining the hall, turning up nothing more than a handful of paperclips and a couple broken rifles; as he runs his light up and down the doors, the rooms reveal nothing new.

A good thing, he thinks. A very good thing.

Their flashlights illuminate the narrow hall, the enclosed space muffling their footsteps. On and on they plod, until the click of Bucky’s boot makes a new sound, echoing up into the soaring ceiling of a new chamber. They’ve reached the control room now, and there it is.

In the blackness of the cavernous room, he sees a blinking red light.

What the fucking hell?

He starts toward it, super soldier eyes navigating through the darkness. Just before he reaches the light, a startled hum of electricity crackles around them, a generator bursting to life. Whirling around, finger hovering over the trigger, he finds her standing by the wall, her hand wrapped around the t-shaped handle of a giant light switch.

“Jesus fuck,” he mutters, using his shoulder to wipe away the bead of sweat trickling down his temple. “Scared the shit out of me.”

Above the switch, he notices a water-stained Hydra propaganda poster depicting a faded red skull, tentacles reaching into a black pit of writhing, silhouetted bodies. Christ. He remembers those posters. They were tacked up around the bases back in the early 1950s. Some lousy intern’s job, he supposes. Hydra marketing for a summer job.

Assholes.

“We can’t all see in the dark,” she reminds him patiently, brushing the dust from her hands.

“Fair enough,” he says weakly, heart still pounding.

In the dingy light, the control dashboard looks as dirty and untouched as his last visit, coated in a thick layer of filth that only exists with decades of neglect. But in the right-hand corner, the red light blinks steadily.

Bucky’s perturbed. Is he missing something? Is there something else going on?

Right there, the first flash of fear prickles up his neck, lodging sharp claws into his skin.

Scanning the dashboard, he sees the breakers he flipped before, cutting power to the control center. All of them are still clearly locked in the OFF position, so he breathes a sigh of relief - just like the light switch she found, there must be some kind of secondary power source.

He debates the complex panel, searches the buttons and keys and slides and comes up empty. Unless Hydra gave him explicitly detailed instructions, he was never good with tech shit like this. What’s he supposed to do? Dismantle the entire dashboard? Search for a general power source?

In the end, he chooses a slightly different route.

“Cover your ears.”

She looks warily at him, her hands slowly rising to her head.

“Here goes,” Bucky mumbles to himself and with a swing, he smashes a metal fist straight through the dashboard. The sound explodes through the room, pieces of grey plastic and black metal and glass bulbs ricocheting off the wall. Jerking his hand back, he comes up with a fistful of electrical wires and the blinking red light goes dark.

“Problem solved,” he turns to her, the wires dangling like a handful of snakes.

The sound of his blunt dismantling still reverberates through the room, and she stands tense and frozen.

“What else was here?” her voice is low. Unlike Bucky, she seems afraid to make much noise.

“Not much,” Bucky admits, tossing the wires aside. “Searched it last time, nothing useful. Looks like it was abandoned sometime in the ‘50s.” He motions back to the far wall with the gun. “There’s a small office over there, we can have a look around if you want.”

There’s no reason for it, but something about the place puts her off kilter. Following Bucky’s direction, she moves toward the office, unsure what she expects to find, but inside is exactly what he said - nothing. A small desk and file cabinet on one side, a pair of broken metal folding chairs against a brick wall, a pile of crumpled papers on the desk.

“Went through it all,” Bucky confirms, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms. “Desk was empty, file cabinet had a few papers, looks like office inventory. Doesn’t seem like they left anything behind.”

She hums in agreement, peeking into the file cabinets and finding nothing but more dust and the moldering remains of a dead mouse. She turns in a slow circle, eyes tracing the angles of the small room, and she finds nothing. Breathes easier.

Although - wait.

Stepping closer to the wall behind the desk, she runs her fingers lightly across the brick, touching here and there. Bucky watches intently, the way her hands move in random patterns. Several minutes pass in absolute silence, until suddenly she stops. Pressing against a single brick, she wiggles it, crumbling white mortar shaking loose to the floor, and then the brick pulls free.

Behind is a deep, hollow space.

“What - ” Bucky says, coming closer. “How? How did you know?”

There’s an emptiness in her face when she looks at him. “I’ve been hiding things in floorboards and fireplaces and - walls, most of my life.” Her voice sounds infinitely tired, like the years have finally caught up. “I know what to look for.”

Bucky shines a flashlight into the dark space and they see a fat bundle of paper. Reaching in, she tugs gently, the rough brick unwilling to reveal its secret so easily. When it finally pops free, they find a folded envelope. Brushing away the layers of dust, the faded scrawl of cursive handwriting is splashed carelessly across the front, with two words:

VERSION 2.

Wordlessly, she looks at him and Bucky shakes his head in bewilderment.

“I don’t know,” he confesses. “I don’t know what it means.”

She runs her fingers beneath the envelope flap to pull it open, but Bucky stops her, glancing over his shoulder.

“What?” she asks, immediately on alert. “Did you hear something?”

“No, but can we wait until we get home? I just - don’t want you here any longer.” He says the words without thinking and flinches. When we get home? You idiot, you’ll scare her off with that shit. It’s not your home, it’s hers.

But while Bucky frets over his word choice, he notices something. That look of exhaustion and sadness filling her eyes - it disappears. Like a weight’s been lifted from her shoulders. She reaches for his hand, tangling her fingers with his and tugging him close. Tucking herself against him, she hugs him tight and Bucky holds on fiercely.

“Okay,” she agrees softly. “Let’s go home.”

And just like that, Bucky Barnes has a home.

Dropping a kiss to her forehead, he squeezes her hand and they walk toward the door, ready to leave this depressing world behind.

His brain is already plowing ahead, remembering warm blankets and the smell of hot soup and the sound of a crackling fire, all things he now associates with her, associates with happiness. His brain and his heart want it so damn badly, he nearly misses it.

Just before they pass through the door, a strange gust of air, ice cold and smelling of snow.

He stops so fast, she bumps into him. With a sinking feeling in his chest, he turns to the blank wall, eyes roaming over the faded brick.

“Did you feel that?” He glances over his shoulder. Her mouth is turned down and she rubs her nose when it smacked his shoulder.

“Yes,” she says tightly.

Stepping closer, Bucky runs his hands over the brick, searching for the source. Bending down, he freezes, seeing something new, something he knows wasn’t there before. He recognizes it instantly, an unfortunate currency he dealt for decades.

Blood speckled across the brick. A small piece of human skin embedded in the mortar. Dried, but no more than a few weeks old.

Someone was here.

“God dammit,” he hisses, jumping to his feet. “Fucking fuck!”

She kneels beside the wall, absorbing the gruesome details. “That’s new?” she asks, swallowing hard.

“Yes,” he says shortly.

She looks around the office, back in the control room. Remembers Bucky describing the welded shut door at the entrance. “You said the entrance was sealed shut when you first arrived. Could this be the same person? How would they get inside in the first place?”

The icy whistle of wind hits his face again. Leaning into the wall, he pushes, testing a few different points. “Please don’t be a secret door,” he mutters under his breath, but with a sudden grating rumble, it slides back.

Revealing a secret door. He hates secret doors.

Stark would love this.

A long, dark tunnel appears. Tapping anxiously against his leg, he debates - he doesn’t want her to follow, but he’s sure as hell not leaving her alone. He turns around, but she settles it instantly.

“Just go. I’m coming with you.”

Propping the flashlight on his wrist again, Bucky clicks it on and positions the gun. Starting forward, he hunches over, bending to fit his tall frame beneath the low ceiling. For ten minutes they walk, encountering nothing more than ice slicked walls and a hard-packed dirt floor. Finally, the darkness begins to fade, a dim grey light crawling into the spaces around them. Turning a sharp corner, they find the source.

A large metal door sits askew, propped open and allowing slivers of light and cold air to filter through. Coming closer, Bucky discovers the door hinges are unscrewed, a little pile of broken metal and stripped screws littering the ground.

Wrapping a metal hand around the edge of the door, he looks back to her. “Be ready,” he murmurs, nodding to the gun. She raises it, her hands steady and returns his nod. With a rough jerk, Bucky pulls the door fully open, the grate of rust and metal screeching around them.

On the other side, they find a thin fissure in the grey rock of the mountain. Protected from the drifts of snow outside, wide enough for someone to fit through - but hidden well enough that no one would ever think twice.

And there, lying next to the door, is a black wool glove. Threadbare, with an unraveled hole in the thumb, it looks perfectly clean. Clearly a recent addition. Bucky picks it up, that sinking feeling in his chest now bubbling like acid in his throat. He shoves the glove furiously in his pocket.

“You fuckers,” he growls to himself. Turning around, he meets her wide-eyed gaze, panic clear in her face. She still has the gun raised, but now he sees the hint of a tremble in her fingers.

He’d give his entire life to erase that look.

“Hey, come here,” he murmurs, and she steps quickly into his embrace and once more, he holds tight. Holding her this close, he smells the faint, calming scent of her lotion. “Let’s go home. I need to make a call.”

*****

“Anything?”

Once again, Steve Rogers is eating giant globs of peanut butter straight from the jar. Wasting no time, Bucky gets straight to the point.

“Someone was there. Found a back entrance they must’ve used. Assume they turned on the signal.”

Steve swears and the spoon clatters to the kitchen counter.

“Who was it?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky snaps.

“What the fuck did they want?”

“I don’t know.”

“No possible scenarios?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky grits out, pissed with Steve’s exasperated sigh. “I’m fuckin’ working on it. Give me a minute to think.”

Steve rubs his forehead. The expression on his face morphs, an odd mix of frustration and enforced calm, with a sprinkle of suspicion.

“The other reason you’re there,” he asks carefully. “The reason you’ve stayed. Whatever that is, could it have anything to do with this?”

Bucky opens his mouth to refute that possibility, because fuck you Steve, of course not - but then he pulls up short. That’s the thing. He doesn’t know. She still hasn’t told him her ability and why it ever allowed her to know the scope of Hydra’s brutality. This is one big piece of the puzzle that remains hidden.

“I don’t know,” he admits. Looking out of the bedroom, his gaze grows thoughtful. “But I’ll find out.”

*****

Downstairs in the cozy little cabin, she opens the dusty envelope.

Inside, she finds 14 photographs. They’re old, a sepia toned mix from the 1940s and 1950s, their occupants slightly blurry and peeling around the edges. On her kitchen counter, she lines them up in two straight rows.

She stares.

She begins to shake.

“Darlin, can we talk about something?”

Bucky’s voice is low and soothing, meant for comfort. Walking up beside her, he peers curiously at her profile. Slowly she turns, and the look on her face cuts him to the bone.

“Bucky - “

Cold sweat fills the palms of her hands where they lay flat on the counter and a shudder ripples through her, rattling her entire body. He moves quickly behind her, pressing himself against her back, wrapping his arms around her, surrounding her in that blessed heat.

“Hey, hey, what is it?”

Over her shoulder, he sees the images.

There are two group photos, each showing four men posing. Three of the men are dressed in white lab coats, horn-rimmed coke bottle glasses perched on their noses. The fourth stands a head above them, dressed head to toe in black, his white-blond hair gleaming even in the faded photo. Bucky’s lip curls in disgust - an SS officer, from the looks.

Until he looks closer. Something about the man’s arrogant sneer and icy stare sparks a long-forgotten memory. Bucky squints.

“Hang on. I think I remember him,” he says slowly. “He was there my first few years, but then he disappeared. Deserted, they said.”

“Deserted,” she repeats. She gives a hollow laugh. “I doubt that.”

Bucky should interrogate that comment, but he sets it aside for a moment. Returning to the pictures, he looks at the second row. The images are consistent, six full body pictures of a naked male, each accompanied by a close-up headshot - twelve photos in total. A small postcard is clipped to each pair of photos, block print letters with details.

This is familiar. Not the men themselves, but the visual and the information. Familiar, because long ago, the former Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes started with a file just like this.

Name. Country. Rank. Skills.

In the beginning, he supposes his was just as simple and basic. Until the graciousness of cryofreeze carried him through the decades, turning his paper-thin file fat with Hydra accomplishments. Assassination, murder, torture. All those details that made up the shadowy outline of the Winter Soldier.

Suddenly, he gets it.

Version 2.

Bucky knows that while he may have been the first successful super soldier Hydra created, he was by no means the only experiment. Proof of that assumption is lined up on the table before him. Soldiers and special skills categorized alphabetically in what he realizes is evidence of Hydra’s original super soldier trials.

The information is massive. He needs to call Steve, but there are shallow, panicked gasps bleeding from her throat, and he refuses to set that aside, because she is his priority - he turns her firmly to face him.

“Look at me. Darlin’, look at me. What is it?”

Wild eyes search his, so full of despair. Sweat slick fingers point to a pair of photos, depicting a tall, thin boy with curly black hair and vacant eyes.

Bucky looks closer and sees the information listed on the card.

NAME: Lewis, Henry.

COUNTRY: United Kingdom.

RANK: Lieutenant.

SKILLS: Espionage. Technology.

“I know him,” her voice cracks. She pauses and corrects herself. “I mean, I knew him.”

More than anything, he wants to ask about her past. Who she was before she found him broken and bleeding that day in her village. What she went through all those years ago that shaped her into the wary person she became. What secret she carries that weighs so heavily on her soul.

But he promised he wouldn’t. He knows the pain of having other people digging into his past, what it feels like to feel like to reveal your darkest secrets. He knows he needs to tread lightly.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” he asks carefully.

“No,” she whispers, staring down at her hands. “But I need to.”

He takes her chilly fingers in his and rubs, quick friction warming them.

“Okay,” he encourages. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. You can tell me anything.”

She stares at their entwined hands and curls her finger tight around his silver thumb.

“I don’t think you’ll like me very much. When you know.”

Bucky feels a hysterical desire to laugh. Not like her? Absurd. How could he not love her? Smiling wryly, he brings their hands up and leaves a kiss on her knuckles.

“Between the two of us, my track record will always be worse. There’s nothing you can say that’ll change my mind, so don’t worry about that. Just tell me.”

Gathering her courage, she looks up to meet soft blue eyes.

And she talks.

“When I was 12-years-old, a group of men came to my home. The - blond man. He was looking for me. They arrested my Father and I ran. As far from Berlin as I could get.” Closing her eyes, the memory of that black night burns fresh. “I made it to the coast and bought the first ticket out of Germany I found. In March of 1929, I got to London.”

Bucky imagines her as a little girl, alone, penniless, mourning her father and hiding from an unknown horror. It makes him want to raze the world for her.

“That was brave. You were really brave,” he tells her, still rubbing her skin, but she shakes her head.

“That’s where I met him.”

*****

Next Chapter

*****

Tags are open right now, if you want one, please send me a DM or ASK.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #altnl

[holylangdon]

Hell Is Too Close (Michael Langdon x Reader)

Request: “I want a fanfic where Michael discovers that you are very powerful, so he seduces you, convinces you to join him, and then you two have some satanic sex with a lot of blood, your eyes turn black, and then… BAM! You two become the power couple from hell.” - ?

“So is there any way we could get more Michael smut ? I don’t have anything real specific but I would love it if you wrote more 🙂❤️” - Anon

“Michael daddy kink smut?!” - Anon

“Michael with a half demon s/o? That could be intesting! Thanks for reading this!” - Anon

Warnings: Demon!Reader, smut, mentions of blood, ritual!sex, dominant!Michael, daddy!kink, slight praise!kink, another classic case of me not knowing how to write an orgasm or the end

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Honestly the request here was a post that I saw a few weeks back in the Michael Langdon tag. If anyone knows who posted it, please DM me! I’d love to give credit

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Michael’s words grossly understated what he meant. He was certain that you were dead, long gone from the nuclear winter. He genuinely didn’t think you were strong enough to survive it. But he should've known better. After all, they do say evil never dies.

“What? A demon in your good, Christian Outpost?” You snickered. “How scandalous, sir.”

The two of you didn’t get along well, clearly. A vicious past had now come back to bite you both in the ass, even worse at a time where Michael had even less time to deal with you than normal. Usually, before the nuclear Armageddon, he’d at least give you some candy and send you on your hellish way, but now? He didn’t even want to look at you. It forced him to come to terms with all of the issues you’d inevitably cause. 

But, begrudgingly, he accepted the simple fact that he needed you. His father needed you, one of his most loyal followers, to assist Michael in his madness and destruction. And you? On the other hand, you were more than glad to stick by his side, because then he’d be forced to protect you.

And while 99% of the people you fucked over were dead, there was still that one percent that was out for blood. 

“Stop with the jokes.” He scowled. His body was tense as he watched over your every move, but somehow as you leaned back in your seat, he found himself more relaxed. The two of you sat in silence for a moment before you spoke up.

“You know that’s just how I am. Can’t quite help it, can I?” You said lightly. Now that... That was something Michael could work with. A glimpse of the real Y/N, underneath the sarcasm and wit. The soft girl that lurked beneath the surface, he was sure that she was there. Or rather, hoped. For his and your’s sanity both.

“If you’re going to be by my side, I need you to be... Tolerable.” Michael smirked, thinking back to his old ways. “I can’t just fuck you into submission anymore.”

You leaned forward again, your elbows resting on your lap. Slowly you moved closer to the desk, hovering over the hardwood. “You can. But you won’t.”

It was his turn to close the space between you, letting his lips press to yours for a moment in a half-kiss. “Don’t make me bend you over this desk, Y/N.”

And with that, he dismissed you back to the common room, unscathed. Disappointed, to say the least. You expected more after the anticipation you’d built for weeks and weeks of waiting to see him.

Michael arrived at the Outpost not but a few hours ago, but it seemed like so much longer as you waited in the room with the chatty humans. After his interview, Gallant and Coco wouldn’t stop talking about their hunger for Michael. You wanted to bash the pair’s heads against the walls, but you restrained yourself. The only quiet one was Dinah Stevens, the witch. She kept her nose buried in the book that rested in her hands. She was your favorite.

Soon, you returned back to your assigned bedroom, Michael having dismissed everyone for the night. You were so glad to finally be slipping out of the uncomfortable Victorian-era dress that you hated so much. You’d have to remember to ask Michael about that later. You were sure that anything with any meaning in this Outpost was at least partly his doing. It always was.

A small knock at your door briefly frightened you as you tugged a robe over your body. Muttering to yourself, you tied the fabric shut as you answered the door.

It was none other than Michael, of course. You pulled him into the room quietly, letting the door shut with a small click behind him.

“What do you need?” You hissed.

“I need you to be more powerful.” He remarked, pacing the room. He boredly glanced at you. “Tonight is a blood moon. You’re going to harvest it.”

“I... I’ve never done that before. Not alone.” You sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. A sly smile crossed his face as he turned towards you.

“Who said you’re doing it alone?”

Minutes later, you stood in the doorway, watching the man prepare for the ritual in the bathroom. Blood seeped from an open wound on his arm as he drew a large circle on the tile floor, unlit candles scattered around it. You had never quite liked rituals. To you, they were gross and messy and a waste of time. But for more power? This was the apocalypse, and you needed it.

You flicked your hand, lighting the candles at once. Michael seemed unamused.

“Do you know how this works?” He asked. You stood from your seat, nodding. You stepped into the circle with him, taking his hands in yours. “Focus.”

Michael began to chant quickly and energetically, his words full of force. You did as you were told, for once, and closed your eyes, focusing on his speech. You slowly felt the warmth of the purified power flowing into you. Ritual magic always felt... different. So cold that you felt like your veins were going to freeze, almost painful. But this was so, so unlike what you were used to feeling... It was a pleasant sensation all over your body as he summoned it straight to you, starting in your toes and working its way up your figure.

It seemed like mere seconds before his lips were on yours, his hands eagerly snaking around your waist to pull you closer. The kiss was needy and lustful, and he wasted no time in untying your robe and letting it loosely drop around you. You let out a soft moan as

It wasn’t long before you were laid across the cold marble floor, your hand wrapped around his length while he hovered over you, his lips leaving sloppy kisses along your neck. You shivered lightly. He knew your body so well, every little place memorized like the back of his hand from how many times he had done it before. He knew just where to suck, just where to lick, just where to bite... And you loved every second of it.

And Michael had to admit that he loved when you were like this. Completely submissive under his touch, willing to do anything he asked of you. He could tell you to stand up and suck his cock and he was certain you’d follow his every command. He thrived on the power dynamic that seemed to be between the two of you. He knew every move you were going to make before you even thought about it. It was electric.

Isn’t it ironic? He fed you more power, then took it away from you.

“Daddy,” You whined, grabbing his attention. It drove him absolutely insane when you called him that. His hand fell down your body, letting his finger glide between your folds carefully. He always loved how wet he could make you with even the simplest of actions, and this encounter was no exception.

“Yes, princess?” He mumbled lightly against your skin, his fingers teasing your clit. You bit back a moan at the touch, finally opening your eyes only to see his bright blue ones, carefully fixed on your body. His finger dipped inside you quickly, earning a needy gasp from you.

“Please fuck me?”

At your request, he lined himself up with your entrance, pushing into you roughly. A loud moan fell from your lips, pleasure overwhelming you as he rocked in and out of you. You bit your bottom lip in a half-hearted attempt to make as little noise as possible.

“Don’t.” He commanded, glaring at you. You knew just how much he hated it when you did that. He wanted to hear every little sound you made, your moans and light whimpers of his name feeling like pure bliss to him. He earned them, and he wanted them.

It wasn’t long before your body was begging for release, your breath becoming heavy on your chest as you begged Michael for your orgasm. His hands gripped your waist, the pleasure becoming almost unbearable as it washed over you. You moaned his name so loudly, your back arching as you came. He was shocked to look down as see your eyes flash back through the bliss that the pair of you had just experienced. 

“You’re mine, Y/N.” 

#michael langdon #Michael langdon imagine #Michael langdon fanfiction #Michael langdon one shot #Michael langdon smut #cody fern #cody fern imagine #cody fern one shot #cody fern fanfiction #ahs #ahs one shot #ahs imagine #ahs fanfiction #ahs apocalypse #american horror story #american horror story imagine #american horror story one shot #american horror story fanfiction #american horror story apocalypse

[namjuicyy]

Forbidden - Chapter Six

Masterlist | Requests are open.

Genre: Fluff, smut, angst.

Word Count: 2.7k.

Summary: Prince Hoseok had never been told “no” until his father lay on his deathbed. Hoseok was ordered to marry, but his eyes were set on the one woman he wasn’t allowed to have.

WARNINGS: Implied smut; conspiracies; talk of death; mentions of violent sex; mentions of attempted suicide; domestic violence; general violence against women and female prisoners; character death; trauma.

If you are triggered by any of the warnings given, please DO NOT read this chapter. Your emotional and mental well-being is more important than a story. If you feel yourself slipping and need to reach out to someone, my DMs are always open. Please come and talk to me. It can help.

Previous / Next

Hoseok found his way into your bed that night but this time he asked your permission before he used you to take his stress away. Of course, you granted him the permission he needed and ended up breathless for the majority of the night, your insides sore from all the pounding your lover had done. However, this was a good sore - a sensitive sore because despite his need to de-stress, he still thought of you and your pleasure. You couldn't count how many times he made you cum that night and you were too exhausted by the end of it to even try and count. Instead, you lay on his chest and listened to his heart beating rapidly under its sweaty shell.

"I fear I am addicted to you." Hoseok confessed in the darkness. His voice was tinged with sadness.

"Tell me of your troubles, my love." You requested.

Hoseok sighed. "My brother knows about us."

"What?"

"He promised me he would keep it a secret and my brother is good with his word. No one shall discover us from his lips. Though his silence comes with a price."

"It usually does. What do we need to pay him?"

"You need not do anything, my queen - but once you leave I am to forget your existence and pretend I do not love you. I must be a good husband to Jieun."

"I should be a better wife to Taeoh."

"Nonsense. He does not treat you as you deserve."

"So, you expect Jieun to be unfaithful?"

"I encourage it. I am an awful husband to her and I cannot expect or believe that she would remain faithful to me when she could be happier with someone else."

"I wish Taeoh had your beliefs."

"I do too. Then I could keep loving you the way I want."

"If Taeoh shared your thoughts, how do you think our lives would be different?"

Hoseok thought for a moment. "There would be much back and forth between the kingdoms and it would still be done privately, but I would be waking up in your arms as often as I am able. I would not have to wait for special occasions or invitations to hold you. I would take you away to summer homes and winter palaces and we would start our own lives away from the rest of them. Jimin and Taeoh can run our kingdoms without us. We would have many children, but that would be connected to my staying deep inside of you for all of our waking hours." Hoseok paused. "If I knew that you were free - or at least felt free enough - I would whisk you away from here. We would live as paupers in the forest or in a neighbouring kingdom and never see any of these people again."

You sat up slightly and looked at him with sadness and love in your eyes. "Taeoh is the only reason I am trapped."

Hoseok cupped your cheek and a mischievous grin appeared on his face. "The only solution is to kill him."

"Hoseok!"

"What? I know of someone who can provide us with poison. Just add it to his tea and he would die. You would be free. Though, they may suspect you or one of his lovers."

You were quiet. "Not unless I add it gradually. He would get sicker and sicker until he eventually stopped breathing."

"When did the jesting end?"

"I do not think I ever considered this to be a fool's conversation. How soon can you have the poison ready?"

"Before you leave. No one would know."

"We should do this."

"My love, are you sure?"

"I have never been more so. I never wanted this life. I never wanted to be the queen of a kingdom, to be sold to another man by my own father for money. Taeoh is a horrid husband and I cannot be happy with him. As long as I can bring Eunjae with us, I do not care about anything else. She is the only family I truly have now."

"Eunjae is always welcome."

"Then it is settled. Taeoh is to die."

Many nights throughout your marriage you had thought about the death of your husband. Unbeknownst to anyone, you had even snuck into his chambers a few times after he had left you torn in two, holding the first heavy or murderous object you could find and held it above his head in the dark. You had been so close to ending it; to finishing his life and ending your troubles as they lay sleeping in the bed but it was too obvious. Everyone would know it was you. Not that you cared sometimes. On your darkest of nights, you too wished for your death and thought the death of your husband would trigger it as all of your attempts to end your life had been futile; and so you woke up morning after morning forcing yourself to live a life that kept you caged and miserable.

You know Hoseok was joking about your husband's death, but little did he know this was the perfect solution to your troubles. This was a genuine way out for you. The throne, as you had no children with Taeoh, would be passed to his nephew, Kihyun. Kihyun already had a wife and children, so you would be free to live out your days alone, rich, and with the one man you adored. Hoseok had mentioned in previous conversations that he couldn't abdicate without ascending the throne first, which meant he would have to stay in his kingdom until the death of his father - but once he was able he would pass down the throne to Jimin. There was no doubt in either of your minds that Jimin would take a wife soon, and she would fall pregnant with the next heir to the throne. The two of you would be able to live out your lives in blissful exile; doing as you pleased, saying what you wished, and living a life you had both chosen for yourselves.

All of your belongings had been packed in suitcases and brought to the copious amounts of carriages accompanying you and your servants to and from Hoseok's kingdom. Your time in his palace had come to an end, and all too soon you were whisked from your chambers and slotted at Taeoh's side, bidding farewell to the King and Queen and thanking them for their kind hospitality. Of course, no one but Eunjae and Jimin knew about your relationship with Hoseok, so he had to be as professional to you as he possibly could. So, his goodbye to you wasn't with a long, romantic kiss. Just a simple, polite kiss to the hand. He held your hand, kissed it and walked away from you, leaving you holding something else. A small vial of clear liquid and a note folded into tiny squares. The poison. Suddenly, your heart began to race. You couldn't believe you were going through with this.

The ride back to your kingdom was long and tiresome, especially as Taeoh had decided he wanted to tell you of all of the things he hated during your stay. He complained about Hoseok's parents and brother, and even about Hoseok himself. He complained about the staff and how incompotent they seemed to be. He complained of the food - the party. The only thing he didn't complain about was the Princess Jieun. To his own wife he mentioned how he would like to take the Princess's innocence for himself and keep her locked away where no other man could find her and have her. Alas, he was stuck with you. His wife who never made any noise when he fucked her or seemed to show him any affection.

As soon as you arrived at your palace, he dragged you up the stairs and into his chambers. He bent you over his bed, tore your dress off you leaving you naked and vulnerable and rutted inside you. All throughout his torture, he mentioned Jieun. How he wanted to fuck her and everything he would do to her and how she was better than you. Though this angered you, a simple thought of Hoseok had you gushing around your husband. You didn't cum. His disgusting cock could never make you cum; but he did. Inside of you, of course, hoping you'd be with child soon. Before he had the chance to send you away, you left of your own accord, strolling out of his room naked as the day you were born with your head held high and your ruined dress in your hand. His days were numbered, you reminded yourself.

Taeoh's first cup of tea was delivered to him by his favourite fuck toy. She had no idea she was giving him the first drops of poison that would kick off his slow and painful death. You had managed to distract the dumb girl long enough to slip a few drops in his tea before sending her on her way.

Taeoh had a following five cups of tea the day after you arrived home, and by the third day he was already coughing and spluttering about the palace. You would hear him coming before you saw him. He mentioned his sickness to you, and you suggested it was simply a travel cold and that it would pass soon enough - but just to be sure you would write for the doctor to arrive. You did as you promised, the doctor checked Taeoh over and found nothing wrong with him, meaning the poison was just as undetectable as promised.

It was within the first week you noticed things taking a true turn. Taeoh's temper had been growing shorter and shorter by the day - his sickness taking a toll on him emotionally. He hadn't tried to enter you since you arrived home and as far as you knew, he hadn't tried it with any of his regular whores either. So not only was he furious with his sickness, he was furious with his lack of orgasms and needed some kind of release. Shouting seemed to be providing him with that release. You were unconcerned with his new behaviour until a new woman entered your room one morning in the place of Eunjae.

"Where is my usual maid?" You asked. This was extremely unusual for Eunjae to not show up to work.

"You didn't know?" The new maid asked.

"Know what?"

"She stole from the King, Your Highness. She is awaiting her trial which will be some time this week. Forgive me, ma'am. I thought you knew."

The new girl dressed you quickly giving you the time to run to your husband's office and barge in on his meeting, completely unphased by the government officials who were in attendance. Your anger had been triggered, never had you felt such rage before. "What is this I hear from the staff about my maid?"

"Not now, woman. Can you not see how busy I am?"

You picked up his ink pot and threw it at the wall, allowing it to smash into tiny pieces and staining everything the liquid touched. "I do not care how busy you are! How dare you accuse one of my maids of theft. I have known her for many years and can assure you she would never do such a thing. Revoke your accusations at once!"

Taeoh stood from his seat and slapped your face. "How dare you speak to your superior in such a manner. Were you not taught a woman's place in the home? Or need you be reminded of such a roll?"

"Revoke your accusations at once!" You ordered again.

Taeoh grabbed your hair and pulled it. His face was merely inches from yours. "I will do no such thing, whore. I caught the wench stealing from me, and she will be punished accordingly."

"And what is the punishment for a crime she did not commit?"

"The punishment for theft is death."

It was as if your whole world had stopped turning. Everything moved in slow motion, including Taeoh releasing you from his grasp and pushing you away. He had said something to you but you couldn't process the words as your mind had gone into shut down. He planned on killing your family - the only person who had been there for you from the beginning. You began to beg and plead with your husband, forgetting that all the members of parliament were sat in the room watching this happen, but instead of showing you any compassion you were dragged away by two guards who gently pulled you out of the room and back to your chambers.

When you had composed yourself, you left the palace and headed for the prison. You were terrified of losing Eunjae and so your fear had manifested itself into anger and dominance. You were no longer the quiet wallflower Taeoh married. You were unstoppable and demanding, especially when the warden of the jail initially refused to let you see her. When you did see her, you wept.

Eunjae sat chained to one of the stone walls, wearing the clothes she was arrested in but they were all dirty and torn in places. What skin you could see had been cut and bruised where the officers had taken it upon themselves to beat her. If there wasn't a bruise on her bare skin, there was dried blood where no one had bothered to bathe her. She was exhausted: you could tell so just by looking at her. There were dark circles around her eyes which were void of emotion as she'd seemingly cried out all of the feelings she had until she was left a numb shell in a damp prison.

"Eunjae!" You cried her name desperately, and when she looked up at you all the colour returned to her face. Hope appeared in her eyes. She stood (weakly) and moved as fast as she could to the barred door where you were waiting for her.

"Ma'am, I am so sorry!" She cried. Tears had began to flow once more as she apologised to you over and over again.

"Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong."

The way Eunjae looked at you was almost as though she was shocked you believed her innocence. It didn't surprise you, though. Of course no one would believe her innocence, the King was against her. What he said went no matter what. "I let you down, ma'am."

"What nonsense. You could never. You have done nothing wrong. I will try and fix this. I will try and get you released from here, I promise."

"If you don't-"

"I will."

"But if you don't - you should know, ma'am, that you are such a wonderful person. You have been my best friend for many years and it's been a pleasure dressing you every morning."

"You are not going to die. I'm going to talk to the guards and get you released. You will have to go somewhere else, you won't be able to stay in this kingdom but I shall join you soon."

"Ma'am?"

"I have a plan. We will be living in Blossom Manor House just outside of Qedian. I cannot tell you everything, it is too risky. I just need you to go there and wait for me, okay?"

"I do not understand. How?"

"I cannot tell you now but all will be revealed in due course. Please, hold tight. I will find a way to get you out of here."

You grabbed hold of Eunjae's hands and held them for a little while before silently saying goodbye to her and rushing towards the warden's office. He wasn't there to barter with, and the guards were seemingly distracted, so you were able to take the key from the warden's desk and break Eunjae out that way. You ordered her to go out the back door so she wouldn't be seen, and would be able to slip into the streets undetected. Of course, she obeyed and was on her way to safety as soon as you'd departed.