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hatelangdon · 7 months

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Unsaid.

Frat!Kyle Spencer x fem!reader ✧ Angst/hurt comfort

Pt 1 of ? ✧ 3.6k words

Taglist: n/a

(🚨 Warnings: talk of s/a from a parent, Beating, Abuse, Self Deprication, crying, panic attack. 🚨)

Summary: Kyle was supposed to be gone for a entire week for spring break, he comes back in 2 days with a harrowing confession.

(A/N: This is dark and heavy and I tried my hardest to be respectful and represent Kyle as a victim of abuse in a realistic and dignified way. I will be writing a part 2 where Kyle begins his healing journey such as attending therapy and going into more depth of what his mother did, finding resources at the school's LGBTQ center, and asserting boundaries into the relationship between himself and the reader. I don't want to "put him to bed and be done with it" because I don't think that I will be satisfied if I don't give him even a piece of justice that the show failed to. I also tried to add more dimension into Kyle's character instead of making him some happy- go lucky frat boy fairytale. Yes he is a sweetheart, but he is allowed to be angry, upset, and stand-offish because trauma sometimes presents itself that way and he is human...at least in this state.)

There's also like 3 time skips which aren't my favorite but it be like that sometimes, honestly.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The spring semester of your freshman year had brought you fresh flowers for your dorm, warm sunshine, and a blonde headed angel who loved you more than life itself,

Kyle Spencer.

You had met him in your Psych class. His unspoken, ”assigned” seat was right in front of you and you both sat alone, so when the professor said “turn to your neighbor.” Kyle would turn to face you.

Turning to your neighbor soon turned into doing projects together, helping each other with homework, and spending late nights in the library showing each other your favorite songs and eating off the McDonalds dollar menu when you were supposed to be studying.

Kyle was the sweetest guy you had ever met, he could light up a room just by walking in and flashing that beautiful, dimpled, smile and despite being a frat boy, he never treated you differently around his frat brothers and always made sure that the women in the room were respected and felt safe around them.

You two had been attached at the hip since you met. You had a single dorm so sleepovers were always on the table, especially because Kyle hated sleeping in the frat house, it was loud, and sticky, at least that's how he described it.

He always preferred to lay in your bed where it was warm and smelled like your perfume, he was happy to join in whatever you were doing as long as you would have him. You two would listen to music, podcasts, read to each other, eventually falling asleep with your limbs entangled every single time.

Kyle never felt like a burden when he spent time with you.

There was no label to your relationship, it was just something for you to cherish with one another.

It went on like that for 2 months, until Kyle officially asked you to be his girlfriend, right before you moved out of your dorm for the summer. You were finishing up packing your things away and there he was, looking bright and handsome at your door nervously fidgeting with the vase that held a a bouquet of lego flowers.

“I wanted to give you something I made, sentimental y'know?…and I also wanted to give you flowers that never die.”

A small note around the vase read, ‘Y/n, be my girlfriend?’

Of course you had said yes, with 0 hesitation. It was simple, silly, and sweet just like he was, and Kyle was officially yours.

Although he was your Prince Charming, Kyle did have his shortcomings, he had a habit of shutting himself in when he was upset and completely ignoring you for days, especially when he had come back from visiting home.

When he finally came back around he always apologized and told you that it was issues with his family, but he didn’t like to talk about it and you never wanted to push him.

Kyle also had…issues with intimacy, with touch really. You two had never had sex, you didn’t mind of course. He just said he wasn’t ready, and you respected his choices. You two had almost done it at least 100 times, you could literally feel him melting underneath you as simple kisses turned into steamy makeout sessions, but he would always just push you off at the last minute. Kyle didn’t really like when you touched him at all unless he initiated it, especially at the beginning of your relationship. You would be talking to him and put a hand on his thigh and he would just suddenly tense up and move your hand to your own lap, if you came up behind him and put your hand on his back he would physically bend himself away from your touch.

That's just how Kyle was, physical touch wasn't his love language and he was...jumpy, the worst part was when you would be trying to express something with your hands and he would flinch and shut his eyes for a split second, like he was afraid you might hit him. He had blamed it on the roughhousing from his frat brothers, but you had always second guessed his response and kept it in the back of your mind, making sure you were gentle with him.

Things had definitely gotten better as your relationship matured, Kyle was much more relaxed and comfortable with your touches but he did still have his moments where he didn't really want to be touched and he got agitated if you kept initiating it, but he was never mean about it. He was always gentle, but he would distance himself.

Friday, 6:39 p.m. -------------------------------

It had officially been a year since you had met Kyle, spring was rolling back around and everyone was getting ready to hit the beach and visit their families during spring break. 2 whole weeks of no exams, classes, or projects.

You sat at the edge of his bed, kicking your feet and watching him pack his bags for his weeklong trip back home.

“are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” He batted his big brown eyes at you.

“you know, I would my love,” You gave him a smile as you watched him try to shove 14 shirts into a duffle bag already filled with clothes, “But I told Zoe that we would hang out, and you know we don't see each other often.”

“Yeah, yeah I know!" He playfully threw a red shirt your way, “that’s a tomato! I’m throwing tomatoes at you! boooooo! boooooo!”

“you're such a cornball!” You shook your head, admiring how cute he looked in the warm tones of the sun illuminating the room, “But I do love it, and I promise you, next time you go out to visit your mom I’ll come with you.”

“I’m only a cornball for you so don’t go telling anyone” he flashed his dimpled smile your way, “I won’t forget your promise, I really need you there with me.” he said the last part quieter as he held your hands in his,

“Ky,” you cooed “I know you and your mom fight a lot, but I am just a phone call away if you need me, babe. I’ll always be there for you.”

“Yeah…I know ” His eyes shifted like he wanted to say something else but instead he just fidgeted with your hands and looked down, you had noticed that he seemed on edge every time it was time to go back home.

“Honey?,” You gently raised his head with a finger to his chin so his eyes could meet your own,

“you don't have to go if somethings bothering you…you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” You rubbed his hand with your thumbs.

Kyle tensed up, and he removed his hands from yours.

“if there was something wrong, I wouldn't be going back home, y/n.” He gave you a dismissive smile “Don’t worry so much.”

“I’ll try not to” you smiled back, kissing the dimple in his right cheek, “I do have to get going Ky, there's a bonfire on the beach tonight and I have to get ready before Zoe bites my head off" you smiled gently, "it's not too late for you to come with me, it's a long drive. Why don't you just leave tomorrow morning and i'll come with you?"

Kyle sighed "I would, trust me no one wants to drive 6 hours in the dead of night. But if I don't go tonight and get a 'full week with her' it'll be a whole thing."

"Okayyy, but call me as soon as you hit the road and when you get there and make sure you eat something before you go." you placed another gentle kiss on his cheek.

"I will," he blinked twice, his cheeks blushed from being completely flustered, how did he ever score someone as sweet as you? "have fun. I love you"

"I love you too, blondie”

You were about to make your way out the door, but Kyle stopped you, suddenly yelling your name,

"Oh wait, y/n!"

You jumped, but turned back around, meeting his dark eyes as he approached you with something in his hand.

"Oh- sorry I didn't mean to scare you," he placed a kiss on your cheek as a apology, "I almost forgot! I got you something."

"Really?"

"Happy anniversary!" Kyle opened his hand to show you the gift, it was a dainty gold necklace with a pearl pendant hung from it, "it's vintage avon? I don't know what that is but the lady at the shop said that you'd look pretty in it after I showed her a picture and of course I agreed." He scratched his neck, nervously "I told her you were into v-vintage things, so-"

You cut off Kyle's rambling with a kiss, seeing that he was blushing like he had never spoken to you before.

You pulled away with a smile, "It's beautiful Ky, thank you baby...but i'm confused?"

His eyes widened, worried that he had messed up.

"I know, I should've asked you if you preferred silver or gold-"

"no, no, no it's not that at all!" You cut him off "You asked me to be your girlfriend in June, it's only April."

"I fell in love with you in April."

You felt your heart swell in your chest, "You're too sweet, I would've got you something, if I knew we were doing gifts!"

"Don't even worry about it," He spun you around so he could place the necklace around your neck, the lady at the store was right it did look beautiful on you. "I don't want to keep you for much longer y/n." He glanced at the time, it was nearing 7:30 and you were supposed to be meeting Zoe at 8:45, "Go have fun with your friends, I don't want you to be late."

You gave Kyle a gentle smile, he was always so considerate and warm.

"I love you Kyle, i'll see you when you get back."

"I love you too, y/n! I miss you already!"

You sealed your goodbyes with a final kiss, and then you were off.

Friday, 10:07 PM ------------------------------

“is that Y/n y/l/n?!” Zoe nearly tackled you in a hug as soon as she spotted you standing on the beach, it had been a year and a half since the last time you saw each other. You had been the best of friends in high school but after her boyfriend passed...tragically, she moved away and you lost touch.

You had reconnected on instagram when she found out you were going to college in Louisiana, and that's when she revealed her truth to you. Zoe was a witch, and she studied amongst other girls just like herself at a school, about a hour away from yours. You didn't believe her at first but you were quickly turned into a believer when she "enchanted" the admissions office attendant so you could have a single dorm.

When you weren't with Kyle, you were face timing Zoe. You two talked every single day, it didn't matter if it was 2 a.m. You two had to talk for at least an hour. It wasn't practical for you to see each other in person often, so when she invited you to a beach party for spring break, you couldn't pass up the opportunity to see your bestie.

"Hi Zoe!" you hugged her back, resting your head on her shoulder “it's cold out here!” you zipped your hoodie up over your swimsuit,

"I know, I was freezing my ass off," she held onto you a little tighter, so you could warm yourself up with the heat of her body against your own. “They should be starting the bonfire soon, do you want a drink? it'll warm you up.”

"Yeah, i'm just gonna have a shot-"

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, and you were quick to grab it

"who's calling?" Zoe peered over your shoulder,

You pulled your phone out to check, happy to see Kyle's name "It's my boyfriend."

Zoe let you go, giving you privacy "i'm gonna grab you a vodka sprite, i'll be back."

You watched as she walked off towards a cooler, and answered your phone.

"Hi Ky"

"Hey y/n I'm leaving right now, just letting you know."

You could hear his car engine roaring to life in the background

You wished that he could see your facial expression, you were shocked.

"It's 10:00 p.m. Kyle! Why are you just leaving out? You won't get there until 4 in the morning!"

"...I procrastinated"

"Well why don't you just meet me at the beach? I don't want you driving this late on all of those backroads."

"As much as I would absolutely love to party with you, I have to get going. My mom has already called me 7 times wondering where I am."

You could tell that he was frustrated just from the slight change in his tone of voice "I'll be okay y/n," it sounded like he was reassuring himself more than you, "I just left 7/11 to get a red bull, its the white one you like, so hopefully it will keep me up."

You exhaled through your nose, he was already on the road so their was no changing it. "Just make sure you're driving safely okay?" You knew that his mind would be more clear if he got some sleep and drove in the daylight, but you didn't want to start a petty argument.

"I will. I'll call you in the morning."

"Okay, I love you Ky...enjoy your trip."

"I love you more y/n, enjoy your party."

"Bye, baby."

"Bye."

As the line dropped in your ear, Zoe was right in front of you handing over a red solo cup, smiling.

"Vodka sprite for my angel and a lemon white claw for me. Cheers."

"Thanks, Zoe" You two clinked your drinks together and simultaneously took a sip, watching as the flames of the bonfire illuminated both of your faces in warm orange lighting.

She pointed to your chest, "cute necklace by the way."

Sunday 3:17 a.m. ------------------

Three cranberry white claws later, Zoe had dropped you off at your dorm, luckily you had slept off most of your hangover so you weren't completely out of it when you were woken up by a knock at your door,.

you sat up in bed eyes blurred,

“Who is it?” You shouted, annoyed by the intrusion of your rest.

There was no response, the knocking just persisted.

You were feeling better luckily, so you took a long sip of the strawberry gatorade that sat on your nightstand, and stumbled over to the door checking the peep hole and see who in their right mind could be at your door this early.

You were met with fluffy blonde hair and brown eyes….it was Kyle.

You opened the door immediately, vision still adjusting to the lights in the hallway. You were happy to see him.

“Ky? What are you doing here?” You gasped, “did I sleep for a whole week?!”

Kyle didn’t say anything at all, he was barely even listening. He just gave you a glassy eyed stare, before collapsing into your arms.

You managed to catch him, holding up his entire body with your own even though you were dazed and confused

“I missed you too Ky-” you realized that he wasn’t just hugging you, his entire body was shaking…he was crying, hard and holding onto you like you were the only thing keeping him alive.

You were immediately concerned,

“Kyle? Are you okay?“ You rubbed his back, allowing him to cry it out into your shoulder.

“Come on baby, work with me” You had to drag him into the room, because he was still standing in the doorway and you couldn’t hold him up much longer.

You were gentle with your movements, cautiously laying him down on your bed so you could fully assess what was wrong.

He looked up at you through wet eyelashes, his face was swollen and red, his beautiful brown eyes were puffy from the salty tears that streamed down his face, and his lip was busted and bleeding.

The sight of him so hurt broke your heart into 1000 pieces, and the sight of you looking down in him made him feel pathetic, why was he the one crying at your door when he cheated? how could he be upset when he had kept a secret from you for so long? All of his thoughts ran circles around his head.

He covered up his face with his hands, not wanting you to see him like this,

“Don’t look at me, i'm so sorry y/n” he sniffled, trying to curl in on himself.

“Kyle, no don’t shut me out, please.” You placed a hand on his head trying to run your hands through his blonde curls to calm him down, but he moved himself away, suddenly. His eyes wide with panic as he backed himself into the corner where your bed met the wall, his eyebrows furrowed in a unreadable expression.

You stood back from the bed, giving him some room to breathe. You could read Kyle like a book so you could recognize when he was in distress.

“I know you said you don't like to talk about it…but you’re hurt Ky, please just talk to me.” Your words were calm and your voice remained low. You got on your knees, kneeling by the side of the bed to make yourself smaller and non threatening.

“I called you, and you didn’t answer…” he looked at you through his fingers, his breaths were shallow and panicked he could barely manage to get the words out, “I needed you.”

“Kyle I was asleep-“ You took a breath, you didn't want to be combative especially when he was so vulnerable "I'm sorry baby, I was asleep. I know you needed me."

“If you were there, maybe she wouldn’t have touched me...maybe that would have stopped her.” his voice was just above a whisper, but you heard him loud and clear.

Your heartbeat sped up, you had your assumptions but you were hoping that you were wrong, “Who ky?..who touched you?”

He sniffled, his entire face flushed red with despair. He couldn't hide away this time, he was right in front of you. “…My mother”

“She hit you? Is that how you hurt your lip?” You tilted your head to the side, giving him an understanding look.

He took a couple seconds before nodding, his head hung sadly as he tried to stop his tears from flowing.

“she touched me, y/n”

In seconds you felt tears well up in your own eyes, you understood exactly what he meant. It was like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room as you both looked at each other in silence, you didn't know how to respond...you didn't know how to comfort him.

Kyle noticed the tears in your eyes and he was immediately regretful, his sobs breaking the silence, as he reached out to you.

"I never meant to cheat on you y/n! I'm sorry please don't leave me I didn't mean it-" He was cut off, hyperventilating and trying to catch his breath, distressing himself even more.

"Kyle no, i'm not mad at you! I could never be mad at you for that!" You pulled him into your arms, wrapping your arms tightly around him, his head resting on your chest where he could feel the quickness of your heartbeat, "You didn't do anything wrong, Ky. It's not your fault."

You rubbed his back with tender hands, repeating your words over and over as you held him close, what more could you say? Kyle felt immediate safeness in your warm embrace, you were a gentle rain that cleansed the worry in his mind.

You two stayed like that for at least 5 minutes, you just allowed Kyle to feel his feelings and cry as long as he needed to.

"My whole body hurts." He sniffled, his cries had turned into a dull, throbbing, sinus headache.

"I can get you some Advil." You removed your arms from around him, and cupped his face in your hands, meeting his teary brown eyes, "I'll get you some PJ's too." You left a soft kiss on his forehead, and Kyle melted into your touch. He truly felt loved and cared for, you knew exactly what he needed without him having to speak.

You let him go and handed him your water bottle, "Drink up baby, i'll be back."

You retrieved the pajamas he kept in your dorm from the drawers in your closet and grabbed two Advil from the medicine cabinet in your bathroom.

You presented him with the red flannel pants, a white t-shirt and two blue pills which he took gratefully.

After he was changed, he laid down next to you letting the breeze of the fan by your bed cool him down.

You both lied there, staring up at the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling "...do you want to talk about it Ky?"

Kyle took a few seconds, “not tonight, please....i'm exhausted, y/n."

“I understand, Ky. Whenever you're ready, i'll listen okay?"

He nodded, thankful that you would never try to push him, "Thank you y/n for everything, I love you"

"I love you too, blondie. Get some rest, you need it."

Kyle just nodded in agreement.

As both of your eyes grew heavy, Kyle curled into your side, resting his head on the warmth of your chest. He brought his hand up, caressing the pearl on the necklace he had given you with his thumb for his own comfort. He was pleasantly surprised that you had kept it on, and eternally grateful for how much love you showed him.

In the darkness of his mind, you appeared as a warm ray of light, and he was more than happy to be back in your arms, where he could leave his worries behind.

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thedeadthree · 8 months

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-`. WHAT FORM OF LOVE IS YOUR OC?

TAGGED BY @corvosattano, @chuckhansen, @jillvalentinesday, @leviiackrman, @jackiesarch, @marivenah and @nightbloodbix to take this quiz!!! thank you !!!! ❦

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-`. LOVE THAT HEALS.

your love is healing. it burns you with every bit of your soul, but you choose to heal, nevertheless. you are so, so so strong and i hope you know that. i send you peace. i send you calm. i hope things will become better for you in time, just as you have made others better in time as well.

-`. LOVE THAT LASTS.

love unconditional, love unfailing. you love no matter what happens because you believe in the best – of you, and them. it will hurt and it will fail you, but this love tastes so sweet – you can never believe that it bitters sometimes. the way you choose to love unconditionally is incredible.

-`. LOVE THAT PROTECTS.

you love so fiercely, with every fibre of your being. maybe you were wounded by love in the past ; such that you choose to love and love and love so wonderfully that the next person who comes into your life never doubts that they are loved by you.

-`. LOVE THAT STRENGTHENS.

you make sure that people know that they are loved, and you give them strength when they need it the most. this is an ability that is rare; the love that you hold speaks wonders of yourself. i hope you're doing alright. isn't it exhausting always being the bigger person?

-`. LOVE THAT CALMS.

this is sweet. i hope you know that you make others feel at ease around you. you're a gem, a blessing, a treasure – and you should know it. it's comfortable loving you. it's a privilege to be around you and to be let into your world.

#only if you want to of course! <3 #oc: anasyana an enaviryn #oc: tissaia thorm #oc: vaermina vanthampur #oc: amavet aerasume #oc: virthac vyuthurim #as always ash i owe you my life for the worlds cutest banners!!#leg.tagged #leg.ocs #tissaia and love that lasts oh the way i am CRYING RAHHHHH #holding her gently in my HANDS wrapping her in a blanket and making her fresh pastries MY BAAABY OH POOR BABYYY !!!!!!!#amavet and virthac and the EXACT answers i knew i felt in my SOUL they would have oh we love to see it <3 #yana and love that heals WHEEZE murder muffin bbg !!!!!!!#shhdkah shes the one who IS THE PAIN *wheezes* BUT THE WAY HER ANSWER HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK !!!!!!#the way i was thinking haha funny until i read it and then it HIT ME !!!!! uquiz taking me out with these answers AGAIN!!!!!!#'it burns you with every bit of your soul' LIKE YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE BESTIEE!#(btw YANAGORTASH REUNION HAPPENED AND UHHHHH THOUGHTS THIS AND THE REUNION I HAVE THINGS ON THE BRAIN !!!!!!!!)#tissaia the one who became an urchin when she was whisked from moonrise the one who was left at last light the one who had grown #so accustomed to people coming and going that the old fear of them leaving was replaced by expecting those she holds dear to leave after sh #becomes attached !!!!!!!!! the one who gains a love that lasts with her friends HER SISTER and a lover in gale A LOVE THAT LASTS #crying crying screaming sobbing BABY BABY!!!!!!!!#vaermina wounded by love in the past by her own family by partners BABY GIRL YOUR EVERYTHING TO MEE #oust your mother as grand duke thwart your brothers marry that disney prince warlock you DESERVE IT POOKIE #VIRTHAAAAC they are the sweetest soul the cutest cutie THEYRE BABY THEYRE MY SWEET BABY BABY only the loveliest for kar OFC!!!!!!!!! <3 #the calm to their fiery dynamic theyll have theyre my BABIES #AMAVEEEET *dizzy*#'i hope you're doing alright. isn't it exhausting always being the bigger person?' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED #using ams fc for now for this until i can fix his beard jksnkdnad #AND TY TY FOR THE TAG DEARS OH I MISSED DOING TAGS SO STONKIN MUCH #a small handfull of the tadfools bc the silly balduring gates game has the braincell *giggles* <3

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