#most likely to result in absolute chaos

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

The Rules of Bex Ball

As previously mentioned, I had an ask on ao3 about that actual rules (using that term loosely) of Bex Ball (as seen in this fic: Game Night 3: It’s Bex Ball, Bébés) so I've written them up in a handy post for anyone else who might be interested.

One request - if you ever attempt to play this game - PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES IN REAL LIFE AND SEND PICTURES!

Bex Ball Rules:

Equipment

1 giant bouncy ball (scale to size of players, but it should be truly large)

A field to play on

Number of Players:

Minimum of five per team (1 goalie and four people on the field, the number of people on the field needs to be an even number since they will be pairing up at different points.) Depending on the size of the field, you might want a bigger team of eleven or more. If it’s an exceptionally big field, you may have two goalies (especially if the group is made up of younger players.)

Rules (if we can call them that):

Essentially, the basic structure of the game is soccer. You’re trying to get the ball into the other team’s goal and you’re usually accomplishing that by kicking it. However, there are also specific modes of play that can be activated at any time at the whims of the referee. As referee, when you want to activate a certain mode, you call it out and then announce when it’s no longer in effect as well. Everyone playing on the field needs to have a buddy on their team that they can pair up with when the mode calls for it.

Play for twenty-ish minute periods with breaks in between. The amount of periods can be decided upon before starting the game and judged by the age/willingness of the players.

MODES OF PLAY

These work best if you rotate through them at random and don’t keep any one mode activated for too long. Keep the players on their toes! (I added a few that weren't in the fic just to round things out.) Bunny Mode – only hopping allowed.

Butt Bumps Mode – you can only move the ball by bumping it with your butt or hips.

Donkey Mode – you are only allowed to move the ball around the field using backward kicks.

Flamingo Mode – you have to tuck one leg up and can only move around by hopping on the other one. You can use your hands to move the ball around during this mode. And if you can kick it during this mode, more power to you.

Hot Potato Mode – you have to continuously throw the ball to the other members of your team and you cannot hold onto it for longer than a second.

Koala Mode – team members find their partner and one member carries the other member on their back. Any free limbs can be used to move the ball. If you’re dealing with younger players, this mode can be adjusted. Instead of one player carrying the other, you can do a repeat of Squad Mode or have one player wrap their arms around the other player’s waist from behind or have them link both arms. Judge this based on the comfort levels of your players.

Marco Polo Mode – half of the team closes their eyes (no cheating!) and the other half has to shout out instructions to try and get the ball toward the proper goal. No running allowed during this mode for obvious reasons. (Possibly not a mode to be played with younger players.)

Pony Mode – only galloping allowed.

Sloth Mode – team members may only move in slow motion.

Squad Mode – you find your partner and link arms with them. You must travel the field joined together like that and move in sync until this mode has ended.

PENALTIES

Hitting the other players with the ball – you get a point if it’s funny and lose a point if it was a low blow (ex – a forceful hit to the head or directly to the face)

Bad sportsmanship – ref can dock points for bad behaviour such as being an obnoxious winner, complaining about the play modes, strutting around with your shirt off, pouting about losing, not showing gratitude to the ref for spending their precious free time running herd on this bonkers game. Stuff like that.

Breaking a mode – you can be lax on this rule until people get the hang of the game. Once you’re dealing with seasoned players though, if a team breaks a mode, the rule is that you give a point to the other team.

BONUS POINTS may be awarded at the discretion of the ref. Reasons for a team being given bonus points could be things such as great teamwork, a particularly neat move being executed, good humour in the face of being knocked on your butt by a gigantic ball – that kind of thing.

IN THE EVENT OF A TIE – each team will choose one representative. These two players will go head-to-head in a game of rock, paper, scissors. One round. Winner takes all.

That’s it. That’s Bex Ball. Play safe (ish) and have fun.

#a herrmann/halstead production #Bex Ball #games to play with friends #and enemies #games #most likely to result in absolute chaos

[prokopetz]

On the one hand, it's true that the way Dungeons & Dragons defines terms like "sorcerer" and "warlock" and "wizard" is really only relevant to Dungeons & Dragons and its associated media – indeed, how these terms are used isn't even consistent between editions of D&D! – and trying to apply them in other contexts is rarely productive.

On the other hand, it's not true that these sorts of fine-grained taxonomies of types of magic are strictly a D&D-ism and never occur elsewhere. That folks make this argument is typically a symptom of being unfamiliar with Dungeons & Dragons' source material. D&D's main inspirations are American literary sword and sorcery fantasy spanning roughly the 1930s through the early 1980s, and fine-grained taxonomies of magic users absolutely do appear in these sources; they just aren't anything like as consistent as the folks who try to cram everything into the sorcerer/warlock/wizard model would prefer.

For example, in Lyndon Hardy's "Five Magics" series, the five types of magical practitioners are:

Alchemists: Drawing forth the hidden virtues of common materials to craft magic potions; limited by the fact that the outcomes of their formulas are partially random.

Magicians: Crafting enchanted items through complex manufacturing procedures; limited by the fact that each step in the procedure must be performed perfectly with no margin for error.

Sorcerers: Speaking verbal formulas to basically hack other people's minds, permitting illusion-craft and mind control; limited by the fact that the exercise of their art eventually kills them.

Thaumaturges: Shaping matter by manipulating miniature models; limited by the need to draw on outside sources like fires or flywheels to make up the resulting kinetic energy deficit.

Wizards: Summoning and binding demons from other dimensions; limited by the fact that the binding ritual exposes them to mental domination by the summoned demon if their will is weak.

"Warlock", meanwhile, isn't a type of practitioner, but does appear as pejorative term for a wizard who's lost a contest of wills with one of their own summoned demons.

Conversely, Lawrence Watt-Evans' "Legends of Ethshar" series includes such types of magic-users as:

Sorcerers: Channelling power through metal talismans to produce fixed effects; in the time of the novels, talisman-craft is largely a lost art, and most sorcerers use found or inherited talismans.

Theurges: Summoning gods; the setting's gods have no interest in human worship, but are bound not to interfere in the mortal world unless summoned, and are thus amenable to cutting deals.

Warlocks: Wielding X-Men style psychokinesis by virtue of their attunement to the telepathic whispers emanating from the wreckage of a crashed alien starship. (They're the edgy ones!)

Witches: Producing improvisational effects mostly related to healing, telepathy, precognition, and minor telekinesis by drawing on their own internal energy.

Wizards: Drawing down the infinite power of Chaos and shaping it with complex rituals. Basically D&D wizards, albeit with a much greater propensity for exploding.

You'll note that both taxonomies include something called a "sorcerer", something called a "warlock", and something called a "wizard", but what those terms mean in their respective contexts agrees neither with the Dungeons & Dragons definitions, nor with each other.

(Admittedly, these examples are from the 1980s, and are thus not free of D&D's influence; I picked them because they both happened to use all three of the terms in question in ways that are at odds with how D&D uses them. You can find similar taxonomies of magic use in earlier works, but I would have had to use many more examples to offer multiple competing definitions of each of "sorcerer", "warlock" and "wizard", and this post is already long enough!)

So basically what I'm saying is giving people a hard time about using these terms "wrong" – particularly if your objection is that they're not using them in a way that's congruent with however D&D's flavour of the week uses them – makes you a dick, but simply having this sort of taxonomy has a rich history within the genre. Wizard phylogeny is a time-honoured tradition!

#gaming #tabletop roleplaying #tabletop rpgs #dungeons & dragons #d&d #worldbuilding #taxonomy #phylogeny #media #literature #history #literary history #death mention

[porcelana-r0ta]

let the mourners come

Title: let the mourners come

Ao3 Link: Only available to Ao3 users

Word Count: 3045

Summary:

It started, as most things do with Danny Fenton, as a joke.

It ended, as most things do with Jazz Fenton, with things better than they were before.

xxXxx

When Danny finally gets a Twitter, it’s during Elon Musk’s shit show takeover. He’s able to secure a good Twitter handle thanks to people leaving en masse and fleeing to Tumblr. He knows about things that happen outside of Amity Park (he is terminally online rather than chronically, after all), but he still doesn’t think anything of using @TheJoker as his handle, even knowing about Gotham City’s clown troubles. It’s just going to be a shitpost account, anyway, one that dances in the chaos of Elon’s electronic graveyard. Nothing will come about him using @TheJoker when he’s merely posting things like, “Just grew a new row of teeth!!! very pointy but can’t go to the dentist anymore bc they might turn me in to the giw.”

So Danny honestly never foresaw The Actual Real Joker breaking out of Arkham Asylum all the way in Gotham City, New Jersey, and deciding to get a Twitter account to terrorize people online as well as offline. And he definitely never foresaw The Joker @’ing him on Twitter, demanding that Danny change his Twitter handle. But, well. Here he was. 

[Image Description: A screenshot of a Twitter reply chain, starting with the real Joker @'ing Danny's Twitter account, which uses TheJoker as his Twitter handle. The Joker, who has a verified account, demands that Danny "change your handle", and Danny replies with a simple "no" followed by red heart emoji. The Joker Tweets, "Kid you don't know who you're fucking with," to which Danny replies, "Ye I do ur some dude w/ poor fashion sense and lame jokes. Maybe try badjokesbyjeff bc originality is ugly on u" followed by a shrugging emoticon. The Joker responds, "Check your DMs." Danny then responds, "Perf [happy emoji surrounded by hearts] I've sent you a time and place. Can't wait to beat the shit out of another disgrace of a clown." Someone with the username "Gregg rulz ok" responds to Danny's last Tweet, "Bro is absolutely RATIOING the joker but the clown keeps responding [three skull emojis] embarrassing frfr too bad he's gonna die for realsies".

End ID]

Danny is quick to respond and then makes even quicker work of roasting The Joker. This soon results in The Joker DMing him his IP Address and a creative threat. Still, Danny isn’t about to cow to a clown with no respect for the art of clowning. He replies to the DM: 

Cool, meet me at the Nasty Burger parking lot in Amity Park IL on tuesday at 2am

The response from The Joker is quick:

Fourteen year olds are too confident these days

Danny rolls his eyes and ignores the influx of notifications from Twitter, and instead makes another Tweet.

Imagine beefing with someone over a Twitter handle lol acc so embarrassing for him

He blackens his screen and stretches in bed, letting his spine pop more than what is humanly possible. He runs his tongue over that second row of teeth, his lips curling into a grin. 

xxXxx

Gothamite Twitter is blowing up over The Joker’s social media beef with a faceless shitposting account. Jason, upon finding out about it, has a series of reactions: first, he looks up the shitposter and follows them. Then, he finds the actual chain between the poster and The Joker, and his vision goes vibrant green when he sees that The Joker’s profile picture is of the second Robin, beaten and swollen in an abandoned building in Ethiopia. 

When his vision clears and he can breathe without wanting to kill, he likes the shitposter’s replies, and he calls the Replacement to see if the other Bats know already.

“We know,” Tim says in lieu of a hello when the ringing cuts out. “We’re working on it.”

“What, you think anything’s gonna come of it?” But even as Jason asks, he already knows the answer. The Joker is unhinged and once he’s threatened something, he’ll follow up unless he comes up with a “funnier” option. 

Tim’s breath hitches, and he says, “I’ve hacked their DMs. Joker knows the kid’s IP address and sent it to him. He knows everything from that address alone.”

He pauses in the middle of suiting up, “Kid?”

He hears Tim swallow, “Yes, kid. He’s fifteen. And he gave The Joker a specific time and place to meet up to fight. In his own hometown.”

“Are— are you fucking kidding me?” 

“No. B is already calling Nightwing. We’re taking the Batwing to Illinois.”

“Jesus fuck. I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Hood, I—”

“Shut up, I’m already in my gear.” He hangs up without waiting for a response. 

He refreshes the Twitter feed and barks a laugh at the newest Tweet:

Jason Todd votes, and the Red Hood leaves his safe house. 

xxXxx

A commercial flight to Illinois takes around two and a half hours. In the Batwing, they get there in an hour, and don’t even have to worry about the drive from Chicago to a small speck of a town like Amity Park. They spend the quick flight learning everything they can about Daniel James Fenton, the owner of the Twitter account, and they can all sense the growing tension from (and between) Bruce and Jason.

But, well. Jason doesn’t care. Let them be uncomfortable. It doesn’t compare to being ripped back into life and finding out his dad didn’t even get justice for his death. 

When they reach town, it doesn’t take long to find the Fentons’ home. This is in part because Amity Park is a very navigable town, and because of the giant neon sign proclaiming FentonWorks on the side of the building. 

“Is that a blimp?” Dick asks. “Why don’t we have a blimp?” 

“Where would we keep it?” the Demon Brat counters practically. “Goliath takes up all of the Cave’s extra space.” 

Jason rolls his eyes and knows veins would be popping out of Bruce’s forehead if it weren’t for the cowl. 

“Let’s go,” Bruce says instead, and they all make their way to the house. 

Nightwing, predictably, goes for the front door approach. Jason rolls his eyes as he takes one of the second-story windows and finds his way downstairs.

He gets down at the same time that a redheaded girl answers the door and nearly slams it in Dick’s face. Jason has to suppress snickers at the sight. 

“Wait, wait, wait, are you Jazz Fenton? We need to talk to your brother!” 

“...We?” she asks, then tenses and turns around to see the rest of the Bats in the hall behind her. Dick takes the opportunity to step in completely, closing the door behind him. “Wha— what’s going on?”

“Where are your parents, Jazz?” Bruce makes every question sound like a demand. Jason rolls his eyes from behind his mask—way to put the teenager at ease, B.

“Why do you need to know?” Her voice has a defensive edge to it. “What do you want with Danny?” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nightwing comforts. “He didn’t do anything too bad, just said some dumb things online. It’s not his fault.” 

This relaxes her, and her shoulders begin un-hunching. “Oh, s-so what’d he do?”

“He foolishly challenged The Joker to a battle in a ‘Nasty Burger’ parking lot tonight.” 

“You could’ve had some more tact, Robin,” Nightwing scolds. But the Demon Spawn just crosses his arms. 

“He did what?” Jazz shrieks. “Like, The Joker from Gotham? That Joker?”

“Are there others?” Red Hood comments dryly. 

Her face goes through several different emotions—disbelief, rage, fear, and then rage again, “DANIEL JAMES FENTON! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” 

There’s a thumping noise, and then frantic footsteps down the stairs. 

“Wha? Who died?” asks the figure of a tiny fifteen-year-old, smaller than even Jason had been when he was alone with The Joker. He’s tiny and lanky. Zero muscle definition. Eye bags to rival the Replacement’s. Something ripples in the Pit, deep and distinct, but he can’t name what causes it.

Oh, this kid is so dead. 

“Danny,” says Jazz calmly while Danny blinks uncomprehendingly at the heroes in their hallway. She is solemn when she says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you now.” 

“What did I do?” 

She stares at him, “Why have you scheduled a fight with The Joker?” 

“Oh, that.” He rubs the back of his neck, “Is he taking that seriously?”

“Of course he is, Danny! It’s The Joker! That’s what he does! He can’t differentiate between a joke and reality! He would tear off his own face for the bit!” 

“Oof,” is all Danny can muster. He digs his phone out and starts typing before Jazz yanks it out his hand. 

“You’re fucking TWEETING about this?” Jazz asks incredulously, and Hood’s hackles rise. She even reads the Tweet aloud, “‘Just found out @TheJ0ker is being fr about fighting me. Sad but i can take a clown.’”

“I was gonna add ‘i’ve done it b4,’ but like the letter and the number four. But yeah.” 

“You’re grounded forever.” Danny opens his mouth to protest, but the look Jazz cuts at him is so scathing that he shuts his mouth. Hood is reluctantly impressed—she had what could be cultivated into a fantastic Batglare. She pockets the phone, “You’re never getting this phone back. Taunting The Joker to Amity? Have you any brain cells? What if he brings Joker gas with him, huh? Or any of his goons? What if he starts hurting other people? Have you thought any of this through?” 

Danny’s face goes from tired to chastised, his lips drawing into a frown, especially at the mention of other people. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t think that he’d take it so seriously.”

“He sent you your IP Address.”

“I thought that was just a random string of numbers?”

“Oh my god,” Jazz despairs. “Oh my god. Grounded forever. See, I know you're lying to me. I know you're lying because Tucker, the nerdiest tech nerd to have ever been born, is your best friend.”

He rubs the back of his neck, “I tune him out?”

“You’re still lying to me?” Jazz scoffs and turns to Batman, “Do whatever you want with him. I’m not going to defend him from this.” 

“Hey!” complained her brother, but Batman just continued on, “Where are your parents?”

“They’re in Sweden for a science convention,” Jazz answers. “They left this morning.” 

Damn, Jason curses to himself. 

“Jazz, seriously. You’re not gonna let Batman kill me, right?” 

“Do you want to be cremated or buried, Danny?” Jazz asks blasély, and Danny gulps, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. 

“It’s my Twitter handle,” he mutters petulantly, and Jason can’t believe the gall of this kid. Or maybe stupidity. Audacity’s a good one, too. “If he wanted it, he should’ve gotten it first. And he gives clowns a bad name.” 

“Not the clown thing again.” Jazz digs her palms into her eyes, sighs, then turns to the heroes. “He has a whole clown thing ever since Circus Gothica came to town and robbed a bunch of jewelry stores.” 

Danny gestures wildly with his hands, as if demonizing clowns was the real problem and not the egomaniacal mass murderer who wanted to murder him for his Twitter handle, “Clowning is an art form, Jazz, and people like Freakshow and The Joker make a mockery of the very serious societal statements that clowns make!” 

All of the Bats very carefully Did Not look at Nightwing, who has made very similar rants on quiet patrols.

“You are never leaving this house again,” she says serenely. “And I’m unplugging the wifi router.”

“You would punish even yourself?”

“Oh, little brother. I would watch the world burn if it meant knocking sense into your thick skull.” 

“Okay, Christ,” Red Hood finally interrupted the siblings’ melodrama. An unyielding redheaded girl and a mouthy black-haired, blue-eyed boy? They’d fit in a little too well back at the Manor, so Jason needs to cut this shit out before Bruce’s bat-doption instincts start tingling. “Stop. Just… Christ. Stop. Is this how you always interact with each other?”

“Sometimes there’s explosions,” Danny pipes up, a cheeky grin on his face. 

Jazz doesn’t dispute it. 

Fucking hell. God damn it. I can’t. I just can’t. 

Batman doesn’t give anything away, “Robin and Red Robin will be staying here with you until Nightwing, Hood, and I apprehend The Joker. First, we’re going to check the perimeter.” 

“Oooh, I get to give the lab tour!” 

Lab?

“No lab. You’re grounded. You’ll only be in there for cleaning duty now.”

“Wh– hey! No fair!” 

“What’s this lab you two are talking about?” Red Robin asks before Jazz can rip into her brother again. 

She sighs, “Our parents’ lab. I’ll show you, but someone needs to stay with Danny.” 

“You act like I’m gonna run off and start World War III….”

“I wonder why,” she says sarcastically.

Batman nods to Robin, who nods back, and the rest of them follow Jazz out of the living room to a metal reinforced door. She types in a code—Jason catches the numbers 03-14-99. There’s an assenting beep, and she opens the door, flicking on the lights and leading them down into what is apparently a basement lab. 

A stone settles in Red Hood’s stomach, cold and heavy. 

The basement is large, likely the floor size of the entire building. There are several work tables, filled with miscellaneous blueprints and spare parts and weapons and tools. Against the farthest wall is another armored door, but what draws Hood’s—and the entire Batclan’s—attention is the south wall, where a circular hole in the wall was glowing a toxic Pit green. 

The stone shattered in his stomach, splintering into his body. Is it harder or easier to breathe? Jason can’t tell. 

“Wow,” says Nightwing. His voice is cheerful, but Jason can feel the stress beneath it. “Do I even want to know?” 

Wasn’t this supposed to just be typical Joker bullshit?

“Our parents are ectobiologists,” Jazz explains nonchalantly, walking further into the lab. “As in, ghost biologists.” She pauses at one of the work tables, picking up a green and white thermos. Pretty boring, considering the rest of their surroundings. 

“Ghosts.” Red Robin’s voice is carefully neutral. 

“Ghosts,” Jazz reaffirms. “I know. I thought they were crazy at first, too. But I can prove it, if you like.” Then, without waiting for a yes or no, she untwists the thermos, and there’s a bright flash of white, and a whole entire body sprouting out of it. 

“WHOO! I’M FREE!” cries the…being, pale and floating and lanky and entirely too big to have fit into a fucking thermos, of all the fucking things. “....And not in the Realms? Wait.” He stops stretching, descending to rest closer to the ground, but still hovering a few inches from the floor. He’s got green eyes and lifeless (ha) blond hair. He’s wearing a trenchcoat and a green skull necklace. Overall, he looks like the type of thug he’d arrest in the Bowery. 

“Hello, Johnny.” The man’s—ghost’s?—eyes flicker around each person in the room, his gaze becoming more and more confused and panicked as he takes in each Bat, before settling on Jazz Fenton. 

“Why are the fucking Bats here?” 

“The Joker’s coming to Amity,” she says. The ghost’s eyes widen. Jazz tilts her head, “How many ghosts would you say passed away in Gotham, Johnny?” 

As Jason and the Bats tense, this Johnny guy lets out a wicked laugh, “Oh, Doll, you have the best surprises. Why did we break up?” 

“You did try to have my body possessed. That ruins any good relationship.” 

“Man, but Kitty’ll love this. Thanks for letting me out of Soup Time, Doll.” He floats higher, “Any advice?” 

She throws him the phone she’d confiscated from Danny and he catches it easily, “Everything’s on here. Have fun.”

“What exactly are you planning?” Batman scowls. 

Johnny laughs, “Aww, don’t worry, Bats. Peace and love on Planet Earth, or whatever. We’ll make it quick.” Then, as the Bats leap into action as one, Johnny turns invisible, the Batarangs passing harmlessly through where he’d once been floating. 

“Where did he go?” Batman turns his scowl, angrier than ever, to Jazmin Fenton, who stares back unflinchingly. “He’s going to solve the problem.”

“You mean he’s going to kill The Joker.”

She shakes her head, “Oh, no. That’d just be asking for him to come back as a ghost. Could you imagine a Joker with powers like invisibility, intangibility, flight, and more? Johnny can be impulsive, but he’s smart. None of them will kill The Joker.” 

“Then what are they going to do?” Red Robin asks. 

“My parents are ectobiologists,” Jazz repeats from earlier. “But I am more of an anthro-ectopologist. I am concerned with the study of ectoplasmic beings’ societies and cultures. And while it is very ancient, there is protocol in the Infinite Realms—that is, where you go when you die, should you remain after death—to prosecute living criminals who have killed a certain number of Realms citizens. So you don’t have to worry about your moral code, Batman. The Joker will be tried by a much fairer court than Gotham can ever hope to have. No offense.” 

Jason stares at Jazz Fenton, who he’d pegged as the sane sibling. He’s not so sure now, but he can’t say he hates it.

“And how do we know it’s a fair trial?” Nightwing asks. 

She waves her hand, “Oh, as Gotham’s Knights, you’re key witnesses. I’m sure you’ll be summoned to testify. You will see then. And don’t worry about your secret identities—the dead don’t care much for that sort of thing.” 

“So if this is a ‘fair’ trial or whatever, The Joker’s going to be locked up forever?” Jason asks. “I mean, that’s the only option for shit like him.” 

Batman sends him a look, but he ignores it. 

“Well, there are several different punishments that could be deemed appropriate, but he’ll never be able to set foot in the mortal world again, yes.” 

Jason Todd grins, “Oh, I’m glad your brother’s stupid, kid.” 

She sighs, long-suffering, “Well, that makes one of us. Still, there’s more important things we should discuss now that you’re here.”

“More important than The Joker trying to kill your brother over a Twitter handle?” Red Robin asks doubtfully. 

Jazz smiles, sharp and dangerous, and asks, ”Have you ever heard of the Anti-Ecto Acts?” 

xxXxx

Several months later when Danny is finally un-grounded, he Tweets his last three Tweets before Twitter can become the foolishly named X: 

Imagine bullying the Joker so hard that it not only lands the Joker in ghost prison BUT it also leads to major law reform in the US lmao someone make the domino effect meme about this pls

Y’allre replying to me with thanks like i did anything other than be an internet troll. My sister literally manipulated local, federal, and interdimensional law so you should be thanking her. 

i just a babie 🥺🥺🥺

xxXxx

Thanks for reading! This is the whole fic, so pls do not ask for tags! Thank you :)

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #dpxdc #danny phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #jason todd #batman #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #the joker #johnny 13 #severely ooc

[fandom]

Memes

At a certain point, it was just hard to keep up. They seemed to fall from the sky like fizzing raindrops, soaking everything in pure wildness—memes, that is. 2022 had an absolute bumper crop of memes. The fertile field of this year’s chaos was sown freely, resulting in some impressively widespread phenomena. Most of it remained pretty contained within the dashboard, but at the end of the year the biggest meme of them all broke containment…We’re getting ahead of ourselves here. 

Cast your mind back to January 2022. We kicked off the year with Horse Plinko, which soon joined forces with Eeby Deeby in a frenzy of flaming gifs in which the poor horse plinko’d its way to Super Hell. Nothing has ever summed up the mildly deranged meme generation process on Tumblr so perfectly. 

This era of memes merged smoothly with the Month of Blorbo. Can you believe blorbo from my shows is more or less purely a 2022 phenomenon? Granted, the original post happened in late 2021, but it was the new year by the time “blorbo” secured itself in our vocabulary. How did we even live our lives on Tumblr without the word “blorbo”? It’s impossible to even imagine at this point. 

Springtime dawned with the rise of Live Slug Reaction, which dominated the dashboard as everyone rushed to plop that shocked slug in the corner of their favorite gay moments from TV and film. And in May came a very important event that would define the rest of the year on Tumblr: the launch of Dracula Daily, Affectionately dubbed “tumblr book club,” the serialized email newsletter found a hugely involved following on Tumblr and spawned an infinite variety of memes, beginning with the iconic paprika recipes. 

The Summer of Morbius dominated Tumblr from June onwards, with everyone going bonkers with Morb-based puns, jokes about the film’s most ridiculous moments, and reblogging a single GIF somehow containing the entire movie that would crash your browser when it played on your dash..

The i love you x i love you y text post meme saw us to the end of the summer, and autumn came with the rise of the GOUGER. Or is it GOUGAR? Regardless, the strange but harmless creature took over everyone’s meme palette for a while, getting involved in increasingly silly scenarios. 

This free-for-all was interrupted by the death of Queen Elizabeth, an event that was solemn everywhere else. . But on Tumblr, of course, users swamped the dashboard with Queen Liz-related memes and commentary. And crabs. There were quite a lot of those.

Later, in September, the Try Guys saga unfolding on Twitter and YouTube filtered over to Tumblr in the form of the “lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship” meme, with Tumblr users casting various favorite co-worker ships in the roles of the controversial real-life pairing. 

And finally, closing out the year, the meme you’ve all been waiting for: the one and only Goncharov (1973). Just in case you’ve been living under a rock, Goncharov is a movie borne out of the magic combination of a misprinted shoe label and Tumblr’s fertile imagination. Thanks to a fake movie poster by user @beelzeebub, which gave names and faces to the characters, Tumblr ran absolutely wild, churning out analysis, fanart, and even fanfiction at an astounding rate. This was by far the meme to win 2022: it gained coverage all over the internet, including the freaking New York Times, and even Scorsese himself acknowledged it. You did that, Tumblr. Goncharov forever, all hail the power of the Tumblr meme!

#year in review #memes #tumblr2022

[chrollohearttags]

french tips • sanji x black!fem reader

your new nail tech suddenly becomes your favorite after an appointment you’ll never forget!

nail tech!sanji, modern au, him being a gentleman ofc (he’s not a perv in this, hadn't watched the live action but from clips, taz seems a lot more charming so that’s who i'm going with! 😭) massage, handjob, foot and nipple play, service dom, fingering, squirting, calls reader miss + my dear, praise kink, says good girl a couple times, sanji has a tongue ring

word count: 2.5K

whoever sent this idea, thank you for your contribution. I don’t know if you are being serious or facetious but either way, you have awoken something in me. sanji fuckers, come get y’all’s juice!!

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you were a little hesitant…downright apprehensive even. You’d been coming to this shaking for years and each time, you sat in the same chair, got nearly the same services and entrusted your beauty needs to the same hands. “I’m sorry, (y/n). She’s on vacation right now and won’t be back for at least three weeks.” “I understand but I wish she would’ve told me before I booked the appointment..” you were flustered and rather frustrated to boot..you had an important event coming up and the last thing you needed was your routine disrupted. It was already enough chaos in your hectic life! But nail tech!sanji was willing to swoop in and make things easier.

“Miss, if you don’t mind..I’d be more than happy to help you today. My next appointment isn’t for a few hours so I’ve got plenty of time to get everything taken care of.”

nail tech!sanji, who’d been an esthetician and licensed massage therapist for years, had just begun working there but his work and reputation far preceded longevity at this particular shop. The man was an absolute master at his craft and his catalog spoke for itself. He had won competitions, curated some of the most beautiful designs you’ve ever seen and worked with absolute proficiency. “Is there a specific design you’re looking for?” nail tech!sanji had also mastered the art of de-escalating tense situations. When working around women and people who did not play when it came to their appearances, he knew one wrong move could result in his head or termination so he was flawless in his final product..left with no other choice, you’d accept nail tech!sanji’s generous offer. “Fine. But if you screw up one thing on these nails, I’m done with this shop for good.” but little did you know, you’d be so glad that you did take the services from him! nail tech!sanji, who’s work area was absolutely spotless, smelled of vanilla incense and looked so out together, it shocked you. “I find vanilla helps soothe the senses…makes you feel a lot more relaxed. Don’t worry, I’m going to take good care of you and if at any time, I do anything wrong, you let me know. Okay, miss?” nail tech!sanji, who looked better suited for a repair shop with his tattoos, blonde wefts and tongue ring, certainly took you by surprise. He was gentle, attentive and made certain that you were comfortable. “Can I offer you some water? Or perhaps something else to drink?” As the nail salon you frequented also doubled as a bar. “No alcohol for me today, please. I drove. I’ll just take the water..” nail tech!sanji, who noticed that you were still nervous, decided to take your hand and redirect that tension.

“So tell me about this event. I’d love to hear about it if you don’t mind.” nail tech!sanji, who was not only kind but handsome and rather charming to boot. He had a great sense of humor and was very quick witted..this man who was all but a stranger thirty minutes ago, had you laughing and fanning yourself as he dabbed balls of acrylic onto your nails and sculpted your tips to perfection. nail tech!sanji, who did thorough work whilst also listening to you attentively as you divulged about your career and how you were going to be attending a gala for the company’s sponsors. “Sounds like it’s a room full of snobs.” “You don’t know the half but hey, they keep my bills paid so I can’t complain too much, I guess.” nail tech!sanji, who was absolutely smitten by you, couldn’t stop staring from across the table as he gently kneaded lotion into your hands. His touch was so soft and inviting, making you wish he’d never pull away. It didn’t help matters that he was so damn attractive! nail tech!sanji, who made your nails look the best they ever had, was pleased to see the smile on your face after he finished!

“..only the best for a valued customer and such a beauty at that. I do aim to please.” “I’d say you exceeded that. Thank you, mr. sanji..they’re gorgeous.” “Thank you for allowing me to take care of you. I’m honored.”

nail tech!sanji, who wasn’t quite ready to part ways with the gorgeous woman he’d come to be acquainted with, decided that he would take on all of your services today. Including your pedicure and massage…nail tech!sanji, who saw that you opted for the deluxe package, whisked you away to the private room with the entire setup. Something you’d always paid for. A massage bed in the corner and the pedicure chair with a tub full of milky liquid and rose petals scattered about…soft, ambient music playing from the speakers and waves displayed on a mounted television screen crashed around. It was so peaceful and just what you needed for the long week ahead and the one you’d just gone through. nail tech!sanji, who rolled up his sleeves as he sat down to work on your feet, made you chew at your bottom lip..weirdly enticed by the sight of his veins protruding from his forearms. But that wasn’t the only reason…he’d soak your heels and work on each one as the other marinated in the softening solution. nail tech!sanji, who delicately massaged up and down those calves, couldn’t help but to chuckle when he felt you slightly tremble yet again when he began to gently knead his fingers into your pressure points, causing you to melt right there! “Looks like someone enjoyed that. You’re really tense for some reason, miss..something on your mind?” Trying to feign the embarrassment of admitting that not only were slightly turned on by how gently this man handled you but the fact that beneath that skin tight sundress, you weren’t wearing any panties, as you had just come from your wax appointment before arriving here and he was seconds from getting an eyeful! “N-no, I’m fine. Just feels really good.” “Well that’s all I want to hear.” nail tech!sanji, who was quick to sense the energy shift, went to retrieve your polish of choice after rubbing your legs down in lotion and wrapping them in warm towels.

“White toes..good choice. And a personal favorite on a lady too.” “You’re a man of good taste then. I like that.” Causing the blonde to blush a bit himself..as he could tell you weren’t exactly some scared little girl. You were a grown woman..who was strong, handled her business and always got her way. Just his type! nail tech!sanji, who set up for your final service as he allowed your toes to cure under the gel lamp, began to dim the lights and lay out all his materials. Knowing that you were watching him carefully…snaking his tongue out intermittently to reveal that steel ball stuck between it. Not to mention the silver bands wrapped around his perfectly manicured fingers.

“..can I have you remove your clothes and wrap yourself in the towel, please? I can step out for a moment and you just let me know when you’re ready..” helping you from your seat as he removed that lamp and grasped your hand..this man was the epitome of a perfect gentleman and you were becoming more and more ecstatic that you had decided to come in today. But unbeknownst, the best was yet to come..nail tech!sanji, who’d stepped back in to find you lying across the table on your stomach, a single towel covering your frame and ready for him to work his magic. nail tech!sanji, who had to all but bite his fist to restrain himself as he inched closer and prepared to make you feel the best you had in ages…warming a palmful of oil as he rubbed them together. Waiting in anticipation, you’d glance back and be greeted with a smirk. When he began to knead your muscles with those strong hands, your body would immediately melt within his grasp. So carefully working out all the sores and kinks that had mounted throughout the stressful work week. Meetings, business negotiations, dinners with your bosses…it was all taking its toll. But if anyone could put you at ease, it was nail tech!sanji..

“How are we feeling, my dear?..”

“Amazing..you’re really good at this..”

and luckily for you, this wasn’t even the beginning. Because as he kept going, (y/n) began to release soft whimpers in response to those subtle touches. Chewing at your lower lip, you’d allow your mind to escape to a place that it should not have been. Abashedly, you didn’t want to admit it but it’d been quite some time since a man had touched you, less known, made you feel this damn good! It was apparent that he was no amateur..in many ways than once. “Mmmm…like that.” The words slipped out subconsciously but it didn’t even phase nail tech!sanji, he just chuckled and kept going. Everytime he moved, he questioned and asked for your permission to place his hands lower. By the time he reached your lower back, you’d let him know it was quite alright to do as he pleased. “Please…keep going. You know what to do..” you were never a promiscuous woman by any means but you were the kind to have your way..when you wanted it. And what you wanted right now…was for him to give in to his desires and take you right there!

“In that case…flip over f’r me and I’ll give you exactly what you need.” The sexual tension that had accrued between you two was undeniable and neither of you were interested in playing coy. So with the command being whispered into your ear, causing a shudder to run down your spine, you’d follow his command and turn over to lie on your back, exposing your breasts. He couldn’t help but to subtly grunt at the sheer sight of those erect, dark hues nipples and toned tummy. The only thing making it better was the glass colored liquid pooling across it and spreading as he rubbed it in. Your brown skin glistening underneath the hue of auburn lighting.. “..there we are..much better.” nail tech!sanji took his sweet time in caressing your body. Honing in on your stiff little buds and watching you squirm. Your dark eyes glaring through him with unadulterated lust. Especially when he’d wash his hands off and proceed to go lower beneath that cloth covering your upper thighs. “You sure know how to work your hands..” “I’m only getting started, my love. Just keep your eyes on me and don’t move…” his dominance was not only attractive but captivating. You needed him more than he could imagine! So much so, you’d reach over to grasp for his clothed erection that was growing from the confines of his pants. But nail tech!sanji was quick to halt you, gently clutching your wrist.

“Aht..not yet, gorgeous. It’s my turn.” Chuckling as he commanded you to lean up so you could watch his every movement. He’d part your legs as he kept an arm cradled behind your shoulders and the other between your thighs, working those nimble fingers on your sensitive spot. “Oh my gosh..” “…mmph, you’re soaking, pretty girl.” watching you writhe and whimper as those digits circulated your clit. nail tech!sanji, who latched his lips around your nipples and suckled as he moved about, working them inside of you..whispering into your ear, marking your throat with kisses and filling your head with sweet nothings as he clutched his hand around it. “Ooh..you needed this, didn’t you?…yeah, I know. Just need someone to take care of you every once in a while.” Pegging you to a tee..so independent and headstrong that sometimes, you forgot what it felt like to be spoiled. Clutching around his knuckles, you’d grasp for his arm and hold onto it as your lips met in passionate pecks. Exchanging saliva and whimpers in the process. Tasting one another as the kisses deepened. Sensing that mounting ball of pleasure forming in your core, he’d curl his index and middle digits to work that orgasm out of you. “Good girl..there you go. Keep fucking my fingers. Just like that..get yourself off..” nail tech!sanji, who was practically yearning to bury himself inside of your pussy, could no longer fight his own urges and gave you permission to stroke his cock, shuffling his waistband around to remove it. “Mmph, damn…” “..like what you see, miss?” Knowing that you were taken aback by his size and length. A glowing red tip with precum seeping out..you’d carefully take into your grasp as you stroked that shaft. You’d pleasure each other through lilted moans and stifled cries. Practically shoving your tongue down the other’s throats as you brought each other to ecstasy. “Should I speed up? I can if you need me to..” but you’d quickly decline, finding that the pace was perfect. He was equally as needy but his resolve outweighed his pleasure at the moment and he was determined to let you get yours before his own. Which wasn’t too far away..

“You wanna come, beautiful? It’s okay, you can tell me.” “Y-yes! Please, Sanji..” and with that, he commanded your release with a sharp tug upward and a quickened flick of his wrist..you’d finally cave and release. Letting out loud whimpers, along with a stream of juices, that soaked the table and your quivering thighs. nail tech!sanji, who enjoyed the sight of watching you writhe from his volition, was quick to get a sample of the mess he contributed to. Moving down your torso with the swipe of his tongue piercing, grazing your skin; lapping up those sweet juices from your center down to your thighs..leaving a trail of kisses in his wake until he reached your calves and feet. nail tech!sanji, who’d place those freshly done toes into his mouth, sucking them momentarily as he concluded your massage.

“So..did I do a good job, my love? Satisfied with your service today?” Receiving by far the best compliment he’s ever gotten when you snatched him down and made out with him once more. Showing your gratitude. “I’ll take that as a yes..” giggling with him as the two of you came down from your climatic bliss.

y/n, who was apprehensive before coming in here, was now leaving happier than ever. And nail tech!sanji, who had never picked favorites among his clients, was now looking forward to your next appointment!

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tagging: @lotus-flower-writes @spaceforher @highpri3stess @themagnificentgoat @ichigosluvrr @ladymomo

#cherry’s works ✦⭒ #one piece #one piece headcanons #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #one piece sanji #sanji x black reader #sanji x reader #one piece x black!reader #one piece x reader #black fem reader #black reader #black reader smut #one piece au #one piece modern au #op x reader #op modern au #op headcanons #sanji drabble #sanji headcanons #sanji vinsmoke #op sanji #sanji fanfic #sanji #one piece fanfiction #one piece smut #one piece live action #one piece fic #one piece hcs #one piece drabble

[sexlapis]

i know requests are closed and im sorry but i need this so i dont forget 💖 actor!toji looking at edits on live and hes like “so yall see me like this” and the fans go wild

actor!toji on live!

okay i’ll make an exception once.

𝜗𝜚 actor!toji (x implied gn!reader)

sfw, crack, tiktok (bc that’s it’s own warning), suggestive, horny toji fans, toji has reading glasses, petnames (‘kid’) he’s a little rude but when is he not :), old man toji <3

〆(・∀・) : me after not writing abt actor toji for like a month 😊🤗

masterlists

actor toji masterlist

*

“hey, everybody,” toji said, waving to camera as if he didn’t fumble and struggle in front of his fans for the past ten minutes trying to get his phone to stand up securely. he looks cute, dressed in a navy blue hoodie with nothing underneath and his dark hair was a messy mop atop his head.

now he just sits in his chair at his dining room table, watching the viewer count rise and rise to absolutely ridiculous numbers.

“fourty thousan-fifty thou-sixty thousand?! didn’t know i had so many fans..jesus christ…”

honestly, toji had no idea what he was doing and he was a tiny bit nervous. this was his first ever “live” (something that he did not know even existed until you told him) and he had no idea how to entertain his fans or what they really wanted. but they seem pleased with him just staring at the camera in confusion and admiring his handsome face.

toji proceeds to read some of the comments in the rapid moving chat of chaos. here, starts the beginning of his own demise.

many comments are sweet, kind, praising him for his talent and acting skills, some were just spamming their country flags and names, a rare male fan is asking to see his guns collection, others asking about his upcoming projects but the majority of them are…not exactly PG in the slightest.

toji’s eyes could bulge out of damn skull at some of the explicitly and complete shamelessness of his fans. he knew they found him attractive, but this was a whole other level of depravity.

“what the fuck…” toji whispers in awe, mouth agape as his eyes scan through the chat, his eyes being fed with the most desperate and thirsty comments he has even read, “you guys are sumthin’ else…”

his one sentence just pours fuel on the, already blazing and large, fire, the chat moving so fast that is starts to lag.

“why’d i even speak..”

he actually takes time to read each comment that he can see (and stomach) and one of them catches his eye.

“watch your edits on tiktok? i have edits? what’s an edit?”

the chat blows up even more, commenters begging and begging him to watch these…edits.

“alright, alright, i’ll watch these “edits”,” toji says to the camera, before pulling out another phone, one that is clearly quite old, jagged edges and a cracked camera, a raggedy phone case and just overall not in the best condition it could be in.

“‘what is that ancient ass device’ eh? this is my main phone,” he replies to a comment, showing his phone to the camera to his fans can see, “‘s fine, works perfectly. and it’s not “ancient”. it’s actually a nokia. pft, dumbass kids.”

toji can feel himself being flamed in the chat. even more so when he pulls out his reading glasses.

“yeah, ‘m fuckin’ old. jesus.”

he squints, scrolling on his beaten up phone with his index finger, “y’know, ion even really use tiktok, i only got it so _____ can send me videos of whatever the fuck. i swear, that kid sends me a million videos per day..” toji sighs, smiling at the thought of you, “ahh, they’re just so dumb.”

toji, after a long time of searching through trial and error and directions from his fans, eventually finds the search page of tiktok.

“alright, what’d i type in then? just ‘toji’? ‘toji fushiguro’?” he looks for answers in the chat, but find himself getting frustrated at the lack of actual responses to his question. he tuts, “i’m just gonna search ‘toji fushiguro edits’ and see what happens.”

he does just that and the results are…very interesting.

right in front of his very eyes are miles and miles of edits of himself, created by his fans, their depravity exposed for him to see, some of who were probably watching him at this very moment.

“jeeeeesus christ. ‘dunno what i even expected, honestly,” he scrolls through them, audios changing constantly as he does so, his eyes wide and wondering, “i’m actually impressed…”

toji pressed on one, and he watches it, the edit flashing in the reflection of his glasses as he watches. his open mouth slowly turns into a smirk of amusement and all out disbelief, the audio of the video being something about… ‘needing someone older’?

“so you guys see me like this?” he asked, expression incredulous and he breathes out a small chuckle, “buncha little fuckin’ freaks.”

the chat seems to like that. a lot.

his chat is once again flooded with comments from hell…hell for people driven purely by lust, that is.

toji huffs, “how old is this person anyway?”

he seemingly clicks on the account and reads their username. well, almost.

“‘tojis little cu-woah!” he almost drops his phone out of his hand, jaw on the floor, “how old are you! sixteen?! toji looks to the camera, eyebrows furrowed before slamming his phone on the table and pointing at his fans through the screen, “go do your homework! and be in bed by nine. actually, no scratch that, eight! christ…sixteen years old, oh my god…”

he continues to mutter to himself, completely baffled at how some of his fans are so young and just so…out of their minds. his skin crawls at the thought of a sixteen year old liking him in such a way.

toji shivers, “god, where are your parents?” he questions and continues to search through the edits, before finding one that looks safe, innocent and PG.

he was proven wrong however, when the audio was a woman rapping about being put in full nelsons-

“okay, that’s enough!” he slams his phone down again on the table, “i’ve seen enough,” and then he reaches for the camera, not even caring about his viewers. he mutters a, “crazy fuckin’ kids” before abruptly ending his “live” and going to take a nap.

*

the next day, you have sent him over ten videos on tiktok, all of them being edits of him from the day of the live, most of them containing the clip of when he called his fans, quote, a “buncha little fuckin’ freaks” unquote.

toji sighs at them, secretly entertained that you must be watching these deviant edits of him too.

*

〆(・∀・) : no i have not forgotten abt actor toji

taglist: @tiredslepz | @hayatslife | @shxyxyxxxx | @snowprincesa1 | @laylasbunbunny | @mimiemie | @ncentic | @rosesored | @imover-18 | @gintokhi | @suzuperstarr | @lostgxrlblog | @jallie10 | @nnsav | @bunnyx-sakura | @bubbabobabubbles | @ladytamayolover | @keiva1000 | @morgyyyyyyy | @studiecoherence | @earth2fae | ce-namonreads | @ib4ryuguji | @hisjaegerist | @basiloverthyme | @sweet-kiwi | @sayitowshi | @iovemytoru | @thecompletechaosmaster | @sugutoad | @inumakiiz | @uzxotic | @1meshugge1 | @kunikuzushisbeloved (sorry some could not be tagged for some reason </3)

#actor!toji #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #toji x self insert #toji fluff #toji crack #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x self insert #toji fushiguro x y/n #toji fushiguro fluff #toji zenin x reader #toji zenin x you #fushiguro toji x reader #fushiguro toji x you

[star-anise]

The thing about "parents' rights" and "protect the children [from hearing that other ways of life than ours are possible and okay]" is that it is literally, in the purest sense of the word, patriarchy.

The word literally means "rule by the fathers". We're generally used to hearing it describe how adult women can be dominated by adult men. However, that's not where patriarchy ends; feminists have been less eager to address how within that system, women can exercise power and domination of their own through the traditional gender roles of motherhood. Their maternal rights to power and dominance may have traditionally been lesser than paternal ones, but they were never less than their minor children's. Even single-mother or female-only families can be, in this sense, patriarchal.

Patriarchal families are a complex system that grants parents complete legal and practical control over nearly every aspect of their children's lives. The patriarchal family controls where the child lives, who takes care of them, what rules they have to follow, how they are educated, who they associate with, what healthcare they receive, what religion they practice, and whether they can work or control any money they earn or that is given to or for them.

Normally discussions of patriarchy are a lot more abstract. But right now it's very concrete and real: we are fighting to limit the family's control over children on issues where we can observe that families sometimes tend to make decisions that are bad for the children's welfare or that disrespect their human rights.

Whether a minor child can get an abortion. Whether they can receive gender-affirming care. Whether it's okay to lie or coerce your child to ensure they follow your religion. Whether they deserve to be educated about factual histories or scientific theories that are necessary to understanding the world around them. Whether they deserve to learn accurate, age-appropriate information about consent, setting boundaries, how their bodies and the bodies of other people work, what a normal range of gender and sexual identities look like, what healthy or unhealthy relationships look like, and what sex is, how it works, what its positives and negatives are, and how they might navigate the world, whether or not they ever want to have it.

Hell, on some levels we're still arguing about whether it's okay to hit your kids, or whether children have the right, similar to the rights adults have, not to be assaulted or abused.

Because there are a LOT of people who say: No. Parents should have 100% control over any or all of those issues. If the parent says no, the child is not allowed to do or have any of those things, and nobody else should be allowed to interfere and provide them to the child without their parents' consent.

Pointing this out often results in parents saying, "Oh, so you want just ANYONE to be able to go up and talk sex with kids? You want kids to be able to decide to jump off cliffs with nobody stopping them???" As though parents are the single protective force in the universe, the only thing standing between their child and the ravages of absolute chaos.

On the contrary: most of the time the argument is for children to receive care and guidance from adults who are monitored to ensure they treat children in safe and appropriate ways, who have spent many years studying the best and most rigorously tested of our collective understanding of how to prepare children for happy, healthy lives.

And we are arguing against people who believe that the only important qualification needed to refuse children that kind of care is to be ranked above them in their family hierarchy.

In conclusion...

Fuck the patriarchy. Children have human rights too.

#child abuse tw #child neglect tw #staranise original #patriarchy #children's rights

[unabashednightmarepizza]

Imagine Neuvillette having a cheeky lover, who just enjoys his reactions and lives for making him loose his cool.

He was just so damn cool and powerful, a power to beckon with. Neuvillette was a strong pillar of Fontaine, a protector many looked up to. Even with his stone cold face that didn't give anything away at first glance and caused many men and women's heart to throb, you knew for the better.

Neuvillette was indeed a cutie whenever he got embrassed from your ministrations and hid his red face from all world, mainly you, whenever he had a chance.

This time wasn't any exception as Neuvillette was huddled inside his office, doing paperwork. One might think that this was what he liked doing most of the times by how almost a pleasant face he wore and frequent it was becoming.

But he couldn't have been more bored than he was right at this moment.

As he wrote down his notes and signed the documents, he couldn't help but think back to how lovely and absolutely breathtaking you looked at the morning.

As the true being he was, The Hydro Dragon... who opened up his heart and soul for you to embrace, who was accepted as who he is without a question.

The sunlight was slowly hitting your body and face just in the right way while you laid on his bed peacefully, chest rising up and down with one arm tucked under the soft pillow and the other curled next to your chest. A soft and small smile was on your lips, lightening up his dimmed soul as you laid facing him, making him be able to trace the soft contours of your face with his clawed hand, hair blanketing his scaled torso and your arms...

And how easy it was for you to accept him, as if it was second nature.

Thanks to how he and his kind was perceived, cold and harsh with no care for humans, he had deprieved of himself the beauty of touch. He refused to have that when he didn't deserve love, in his opinion.

How could someone even love a creature like him? Powerless, thought to be dead and even weak but still a danger nonetheless... Who could stay for him in his toughest times when even he didn't understand what he was feeling or thinking?

Therefore, he devoted himself to a long and eternal life of solidarity. He was fully convinced that this was all he could get, and even he was shocked at how the human mind can easily overpower their own self.

Another magnificient mystery of the universe, he would often say and think to himself at the dead of the night while staring into his own reflection and long tail.

Well, these were all before you came and broke everything he thought was right.

Quite literally actually.

"Monsieur Neuvillette, I'm so sorry! I wasn't actually looking where I was going-" you hurriedly tried to gather all the paper that fell on the marble floor from the hands of none other than Neuvillette, the Chief Justice. You absolutely hated, even loathed being in a hurry. It always made you loose track of what you did or said, which resulted in chaos and a life time of embarrassment.

Such as right now.

"It's quite alright, dear Y/N... Are you okay?'" As the gentleman he is, Neuvillette only gave you a worried look, also bending down to help you and prevent you from piercing your knees from the glass shards on the ground as a result of you two's collision. You didn't even realise the glasses you were holding was indeed broken, too occupied with making sure he was okay and not to loose your mind by how much more handsome he looked up close-

"Am-Am I okay? Monsieur, I dropped almost all the cups on you- Oh my! Are you hurt anywhere? Are you bleeding? Come, we need to immediately look for any injury, one of the shards could have pierced you!"

Just as he was about to tell you that it was fine, you didn't have to worry so much, enough to come close to crying and he wasn't hurt at all, a shard pierced his finger through his gloves, making him hiss and almost jump away from you...

Whiiich resulted in a horrified reaction from you.

"Oh the Archons... I'm gonna die. Please hurry, let me treat them!" You mumbled in a daze, quickly pulling yourself together as you took a hold of his hand and made him sit down on one of the chairs outside his office, as if he would faint from a simple scratch. All the while, Neuvillette was in a deep shock at how things turned out as he sat there with his palm facing up, staring at you as only a wisp of your form was visible to eye by how fast you were moving.

He didn't understand why you, even if he had a "crush" on you for the longest time as Furina and Navia often told him, would dote on him and openly show worry. He was a strong individual, apart from being the literal Hydro Sovereign who had all of his powers back, and he definetly didn't need to be coddled like a little kid even if you two were getting closer and closer each day-

"This might sting a bit, but I'll try to be gentle..." You frowned sadly as if the thought alone was enough to make you cry, already feeling bad enough for possibly ruining his busy day with your clumsiness.

And his expressionless face as he stared up at you did nothing to help your nerves.

Neuvillette could feel his gaze on you had become softer, much more gentle as he gazed at your careful hands more. The feeling was foreign to him but not unwelcomed, the pleasant and soft warmth in his heart pulled a small smile out of him which was a rarity by itself. Many would argue that he never smiled or showed any emotions, a man unmoveable and cold as the highest peak of Liyue itself...

Well, you begged to differ right at this moment.

"Why do you care about me so much?" He didn't really mean to sound so rude and harsh with his question, but it was the affect of being by himself all these time, with having only himself to care and patch his wounds.

Even as small as a scratch like the one on his finger.

But it seemed his tone didn't really scare you, as a confused look settled upon your face, brows scrunched together and head tilted to the left.

A frequent thing you did which he finds to be very adorable.

"Why wouldn't I? You deserve to be cared for..." You knew there was a deeper meaning behind his question, his eyes filling with silent tears as a confused gaze settled. Hands fiddling together as he lowered his eyes and gnawed on his soft but slightly chapped lips, probably as a result of his habit of biting on it. He was being slightly vulnerable more than usual, something he had just started to do with you after months of pestering him and convincing him that you meant no threat.

But still, it was cute.... He was cute.

And it brought a different kind of bravery to you, a power that pulled you towards him by his hands, shocking both him and yourself as you rubbed his knuckles softly. Neuvillette's eyes widened noticably, shaking in your hold as the warmth you had slowly got absorbed by his greedy heart and soul that had been all alone by itselves.

Perhaps everyone was right about his feelings of you that he tried to hide, that you were such a sweet and kind person that suited him the best and obviously loved him back.

"Life might not have been kind to you before, Mr.Neuvillette... However, I hope that we were all able to change it even a little bit and that you feel loved and happy." You softly say with a closed-eye smile, head tilted to the side and he knew... He knew you said them whole-heartedly, without any hint of malice or I'll will.

Ba-dump...

All his life, Neuvillette only knew harshness and loneliness. Never once was he ever cared for, coddled up or worried over. He had never seen someone as selfless as you are, as kind as you are and also as persistent as you with a soft and pure heart, and even more pure soul.

Often times, people avoided him at all costs and he too avoided them as long as he didn't have a job to get done with them.

But not you.

You were stubborn to see past that cold mask he had put over his face, the stoic and uncaring mask he had on so that he didn't get attached to anyone deeply and got hurt in the end. You always stuck with him throughout the day, asking him questions or just simply sitting there as he tried to noncholantly answer them with a thundering heart.

You knew the sweets he loved, how he liked his tea and even readied the water he loved before he started working and made sure the container was full.

But none of the sweet gestures would be as meaningful as the one you just did: Openly tell him that you love him and care for him.

Maybe he was being delusional, blinded by his growing feelings for you and having to keep them locked inside himself, but there was one certain thing he knew as he looked up to your precious jewels...

He wasn't. You trully loved him for him, wished to make him happy and wipe that frown away and just make him see the happiness this world could offer... And maybe, you might have muttered your confession under your breath but he couldn't have heard it... Right?

But now, as the cloudy feeling of the questions that was caused by his own insecurities were washed away, there was a much more important question as you waited anxiously in front of him for his reaction and he sweated awkwardly...

What kind of date was the best one to confess to you?

He sighed out tiredly, already planning if anyone would notice him sneaking out of his office, even with his tall posture, at how appealing the thought of being with you, even with how often you teased him with your silly comments and reactions, sounded so nice.

Oh how he wished you were here, he already felt guilty leaving the warm bed you shared because of these papers that absoultely meant nothing and all the stupid people he would have to-

"My love, are you busy? Shall I come in?"

You were trully an angel sent to just him and only him.

Neuvilette's face noticeably softened at the timid voice he heard behind his office door, following soon after a soft knock as his feet already took him to the source. He quickly gave you a kiss on your forehead as soon as he opened the door, his rich perfume filling your nose as a dopey smile stretched your face and you reciproceted with a fond kiss on his lips.

Just being two sickly in love people.

After some time with basking in each other's presence, he sighed out with a half relief and half tiredness as he nuzzled his nose deeper into your neck, his arms thightening around your smaller frame.

"You need not ask, never, love... You are always welcomed, my dear."

You let him lead you to the sofa in his office with a wide smile, where you usually laid after picking up a book and read it while Neuvillette did his job- though you often got distracted by how handsome and absolutely ethereal he looked, how peaceful he seemed after years of stress.

But today, he was different.

His back was more rigid and tense than normal, his eyes were scrunched up more frequently and he sighed almost angrily at any given time so much so that you were worried his dragonic features would come out.

And even his precious water cup alongside its container, one which would always be full to the top, was empty and he never for once tried to grab it.

Yep, it seems he is very irritated and on a knife's edge today...

So, as the amazing significant other you are, you saw the troubled and disheveled state he was in and couldn't help but want to fix it as soon as possible.

And what better way is there than being the cheerful and teasing one you were? That side pulled many reactions out of him after all, and would surely cheer hım up as well!

"Neuvi~"

He immediately lifted his head to look at you with a dumbfounded yet curious look, a smile so bright on his face at just hearing his nickname out of your lips, with the voice he adored the most. He could already feel a little bit of the exhaustion slipping out of his body, his quil on his hand was slowly put aside as his whole attention was turned to you and you only.

"Yes, my dear? What is it-" he said with a soft smile, voice barely covering his happiness but soon trailed off when you got up from your position on the couch, shutting the book you definetly didn't even read a word from and stood in front of his desk with a playful smile.

Oh... Oh! Not this time, he was exhausted and he definetly wouldn't be able to uphold his serious face-

But oh boy, he didn't expect to hear what came out next as his whole face reddened in embarrasment.

"According to the judgement of Oratrice Mecanique D'analyse Cardinale, you have been found guilty..."

You leant over the table teasingly without a care, arching your back more and tilting your head to look down at his piercing yet soft amethyst eyes that widened upon hearing your imitation of his usual commanding voice when he declared the decision of that machine, already anticipating what else you planned with this-this... This flustering and heart picking, breathtaking act of absolute love and playfulness.

"...of being cute~"

Oh how nice it was seeing that redness coating his cheeks...

Neuvillette, to be quite honest, was left slacked jawed, shocked to his core and absoultely flabbergasted with his jaw on the floor. Never in his long and eternal life, did he ever think that his line and the Oratrice itself would be used... To flirt with him.

But he loved it. He loved it so much, his heart beated hard and the air in his lungs were knocked out because it was you.

You, who had stolen his soul and heart all for yourself to never give up on it. You, who had a heart of golden and soul as soft as the Silk Flowers of Liyue.

You, who he called his partner and would continue calling that forever.

You, whom he was ready to sacrifice the world for.

But he didn't realize he had been too silent, enough to make you worry and drop the facade sooner than you anticipated as you looked at him from each side.

"Neuvi? Are you okay? I didn't say something out of li-" you worriedly asked with a hand over his arm, the shocked and frozen expression of his face making you take action, ready to cool him down because the redness that was steadily going towards a purple face couldn't just be normal.

But your lover only smiled like a fool and shook his head, taking a hold of your hand that was smoothing down his hair and rubbing his nape for comfort and laid a kiss on it, before bringing it close to his face.

"Sorry, my love... Your loving eyes had just taken all my words away."

Damn him and his charming words...

You giggled shyly, desperately trying to hide your cheeks from him to save yourself from the embarrasment. Your eyes landed on his inviting lap, all cozy and soft embrace as you slowly pushed him back to straddle him easily, loving and wanting to feel his arms around your frame as your heart was filled with unconditional love that often poured down from the confines of your heart.

All the while, his eyes never left yours as he watched you with dilated pupils, mouth open in awe as you moved around to find a much more comfortable position.

He promised to lay the universe before your feet if you wanted so, after all.

"So, my words didn't even affect you?"

You asked cutely, a hint of disappointment behind your voice as your hand played with the hair he often pushed aside and not clipped back as per your request. Even though he got flustered each time you stroked his hair and he remembered the reasoning you gave him why you wished him to do so, he wasn't going to deny you of anything.

On the other hand, your excuse of "It just gives you another kind of vibe... which makes me want to make out with you." did certain things to him... Which could be often seen on his pants-

"No..?" He hesitantly asked with a raised brow, earning a giggle from you as you pointed to his chest with equally flushed cheeks.

"Then why is your heart beating so hard?"

"It has been that way ever since I met you, my lovely spouse. It's so full of you that I can hardly call it my own."

He flushed suddenly, burying his face to your neck with a groan as he laid open mouthed kisses to divert your attention from the sudden surge of love and shyness he felt from what you said. Nuzzling his face closer to yours, he couldn't help but agree that this cheekiness you only had with him was the best part of his day and life.

Only he got to receive this, it was something only he had and no one else did.

Well, damn the smooth talker...

You could only shake your head in fake disappointment with a loving smile, bonking his head softly with yours in an affectionate move as you tutted at him and kissed the corner of his mouth with a burning face, giving all your love and energy to the tired man and showing how much you liked his words.

"You are such a silly dragon... And as much as I love you, it doesn't mean I won't tease you about this later. For now though? Let's cuddle, you can read those damn papers later."

He trully was a silly dragon deeply in love.

He chuckled under his breath at how much closer you nuzzled to him while pushing the papers away, as if you wanted to become one with his body. Nodding his head as he laid back with you on his lap, a hand rubbing up and down your back, he sighed out in bliss and left his work unfinished for the day, yet another new thing he did after he had gotten together with you.

Just as always, you were right.

And he could live with that, forever, if he had the chance.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact imagines #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin imagines #genshin impact #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x you #neuvilette x reader #neuvilette x you #neuvilette x y/n #neuvillette imagines #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff

[daemonmage]

A Stupid Batfam AU

Jason’s and Bruce’s rocky relationship is actually a pr move to make sure the rest of the batfam doesn’t get attacked by reporters and gcpd.

Essentially Red Hood, while liked by the Crime Alley citizens and other citizens as well, has a pretty bad reputation with a lot of the rest of the city. The GCPD hate him for his overt violence and the head incident. The Media hates him cause he’s what they all feared Batman would become and are constantly creating news stories on him. A lot of the other citizens are just scared of him cause sometimes his temper gets out of control. It’s not the best reputation.

Bruce and Jason have long since talked and settled their differences. Well, it’s more of a “I don’t approve of your methods but I will acknowledge you as a person who wants to help, but I will still dislike the guns. Also I missed you” from Bruce and “I’m not happy with a lot of your decisions but I also understand why you came to those decisions. I’m still mad but I now know that you missed me and I missed you too” from Jason. They’re better than they were originally and honestly that’s all they could hope for. Jason visits the manor more and is having fun being brothers to Dick and Tim.

Here’s the thing though… his reputation as Red Hood may have accidentally spread to the other Bats. A few team ups here and there (and the red bat on his chest) have made everyone assume that Batman is now working with Red Hood, a known crime lord. The media and GCPD were on them like flies on shit. Jim tries to calm down the gcpd with mixed results, but he can’t stop the media from blowing this out of proportion. It’s like the news channels from Dark Knight Returns, but worse.

Jason, who just got his family back, is fucking pissed. Jason is also dramatic as hell. Bruce was willing to just deal with this, but Tim is too new at this to be caught in the crossfire. Bruce was just gonna bench him out of fear until things calm down (he’s dealt with this before) but Jason brings up his plan to Bruce. Bruce isn’t as dramatic as Jason, however he is still absolutely dramatic. He agrees. So begins an epic fight between two ideals that ends two vigilantes at each other’s throats constantly.

Red Hood and Batman fight any time they are together, Red Hood is arrested by Batman on multiple occasions, and Red Hood always escapes leaving terrifying threats spray painted where the bat can see. (Jason and Bruce give each others shit for the pot shots they take and Bruce compliments Jason’s form when he gets a good hit in, Bruce gives Jason a heads up to the easier ways to get out of a police car and Jason ignores him going for the most dramatic ways, Bruce complains that the code Jason uses for his threats are obvious and he can just ask Alfred himself for cookies, why does Bruce have to be the middle man.)

The super hero community doesn’t really know this (cause they can be pretty bad actors at times, says Bruce) tis can cause problems. Superman and Green Arrow capturing Red Hood. Batman had to pull the “he’s Gotham’s problem give him to me,” which led to a hour of arguing to get Jason back. Tim’s friend have Red Hood on their hit list for what Hood did to Robin (Tim is over it but he does use this as a way to get back at his brother when he pisses him off) and Red Hood has to be on the Villain List to sell the act, so every hero ever knows the Red Hood is a villain. This leads to chaos.

There are still rough moments where Bruce and Jason still fight, but it’s better. Jason gets to hang out and play games with Tim. He plans overly dramatic fights with Dick (with full plot cause these two are so extra.) He helps Alfred in the kitchen again talking about books they’ve both read. He and Bruce talk again, they talk about their fears and what they’ve missed. It’s better, and that’s all that really matters.

#batman #batfam #red hood #jason todd #bruce wayne #batfam au #stupid au #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #tim drake #batfamily #this is so dumb #but its been in my head so now it here #I already have stuff for Tim and Dick specifically #which includes #teen titans

[setsugekka]

❥3:14am (m)

↳ Jisung waits for you to fall asleep, so that he can give and take freely.

han jisung x fem!reader — established relationship, explicit sexual content. [1k wc] cws: somnophilia!!, consensual non-consent!!, roleplay, masturbation (m), body cumshot/facial.

He hated to admit it, but it was the lack of compliance that really did it for him.

But the retelling of the act to you after the fact did it for you both.

"Come to bed, would you? I have work in the morning," you groaned into your empty side of the bed, nothing but a half glass of water and ear plugs on the nightstand. You had already taken the sleeping pills, after all.

"Yeah I'm coming!" Jisung chimes from the bathroom, whipping around the corner and shutting the light off in a haste before climbing into the cold sheets you two would be sharing.

"I love that we can do this," you say, turning to glance at him over your shoulder a bit, "ya know, share a bed without it being like, a sex thing."

He smiles, nodding in assurance. he loves it, too. Sort of for all of the wrong reasons.

Jisung doesn't have an alarm set for his plans, the anticipation keeps him up plenty already. He has a strategy, and every time he plays it out exactly the same way. Without fail. If he were really honest with himself, lying in bed next to you for two hours - thoughts racing through his mind of the fun yet to come - dick half erect for the entire duration, it was enough to reduce him to an insomniac as it was. He had a few rules, naturally, as anyone should when engaging in absolutely treacherous behaviors. Rule one, he never touches himself before beginning the scene, and rule two, don't wake her up. Rule two obviously being the most important of them, but he knew you had a way about you when woken up from your slumber and also there's the whole "lewd acts of non-consent" thing he's got going for him.

It starts as a whisper of your name, to which you never answer, of course. Followed by Jisung propping himself up on an elbow to lean over, gently, testing the drip and movement of the mattress and how disturbing it is to you. No response. This is when Jisung knows that it's time to play.

By now he's already hard, palming himself through the thin fabric of basketball shorts under the blanket that the both of you share, biting back heavy breaths as his eyes stare into the back of your sleeping head. He's hopeful that you will eventually turn to face him, but it's not necessary.

He can really only take a few moments of it before slipping his hand to touch his bare cock, fulling wrapping fingers around himself and pumping dully. Every time he does it, he thinks about how he knows how devastating getting caught would be, how friendship ruining, life ruining - absolute destruction and chaos. 

It makes his cock twitch in his hand, he can already feel heat pooling in his stomach.

Unfortunately, that is the tale of perversion - the more he shouldn't, the more gratifying it is to do it.

Jisung feels the dip in the mattress shift on his opposite side and freezes, hand still holding himself, watching the way the body next to him adjusts with intensity - he has to find out if his little game is over and if he'll have to run off to the bathroom to jerk himself off to an unsatisfactory finish into the toilet, but it looks promising when all the gesture results in is you lying on your back, still very much asleep, and much to Jisung's absolute pleasure - chest fully on display. Exposed. 

It takes him a moment before he feels comfortable enough with your act of slumber before he pulls his eyes away from your own and lets them trail down to your breasts, allowing his hand movement again but this time the pulls a bit more ragged and hungry than before. He can't touch. no touching, ever. but the looking that he most definitely is not privy to either is more than enough of a treat, along with the perfect visual of a fast asleep face next to his.

Normally, he likes to take his time. Tonight, is not going to be one of those nights he realizes as his breath picks up unusually quickly. Jisung finds he's way ahead of schedule, but the way heat is pooling and his muscles are tightening he knows he's not going to be able to last as long as he normally does.

Jisung quietly, carefully pulls himself up and off of the sweaty mattress, his tshirt clinging to his soaked back as he does so - kneeling with little distance and only slightly hunched over. He takes passing note of how thankful he is for the headboard, on which his hand now resides to hold his body weight. A cute, fleeting thought before his mind is once again clouded by perversion and desire - completely rewired in a way that rendered him almost unrecognizable as the Han Jisung that anyone knew him as. Hand gripped tightly around his hard length, pumping hard and fast at himself with bottom lip pulled between his teeth in an attempt to dull his whines - because he knows what waking you means for him - and it's that thought in and of itself that he loses himself to, unable to truly remain fully silent with a reluctant groan escaping between his bitten mouth as he pumps strands of cum onto your skin - across your breasts, catching on your mouth and chin, watching a small amount pool into the dip of your suprasternal notch before carefully climbing himself down and catching his breath.

He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, heart beating out of his chest and cock softening as he stuffs himself back into his pants. He inhales deeply, turning to reach off the bed and down below to a towel that he had already prepared for the nights activities.

Gingerly reaching forward, prudent fingers delicately caressing your skin as if afraid of disturbing you. Except that was the point.

"Hey," he whispers gently, nudging you on the shoulder and jostling you a bit in place before beginning to wipe his mess from you. It wakes you up tenderly, immediately remembering the circumstances of which that had been agreed and you smile at him with lazy eyes.

"Have fun?"

And Jisung simply smiles, wiping wetness from your chin, "I love you, tell you about it tomorrow."

♡ send me your thoughts and feelings in my ask.

—this is a oneshot, there will be no part 2.

#han jisung smut #han jisung x y/n #han jisung x you #han jisung x reader #han jisung scenarios #han jisung imagines #stray kids smut #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #emptying my drafts finally...

[lilacsareinbloomagain]

Heyo! May I request platonic yandere chain with reader? But instead of isekai like normal the reader is actually a destructive spirit or deity that was reawakened by either Dark Link or Ganon? Anywhoooo I hope you’re having a great week- mine was filled with exams lmfaooooo

Thanks for requesting anon! I really hope you had good results from those exams!

Notes: My week was okay, thank you for asking!!

I really let out my imagination out on this one, hope you'll like it.

BTW, take this as a part on the back for getting through your week.

I feel like I made the yandereness on this one so light, I'm sorry

-> Reader can't bring themselves to remember anyone's names so just remembers their most striking characteristics in their opinion.

-> It's been a while since I've read the comic, so Time keeping FD's mask on his belt for safety measures (since it's the most dangerous one and he can't lose it) is merely a headcanon of mine.

-> Reader is a menace who has questionable intellect (AKA a chaotic, pyromaniac, destructive entity being forced to be nice to others by the good guys™).

-> I left the end ambiguous, so you guys can decide if reader was either truly tamed or is still a menace who Time has to keep on check so they won't be too cruel on their "pranks".

-> Reader also magically rearranged Time's ocarina so each hole would play different a different sound at some point, so he literally had to re-learn where each note was so that he could go back to playing his songs again.

-> Reader slept for more than Time and Wild both and doesn't know a thing about the Zelda lore other than the Golden goddesses.

TWs: Light platonic yanderism, mention of burns, mentions of fire and arson, mentions of loud noises, basically just reader being an absolute hazard to anyone and everyone.

Platonic yandere! Chain x Reader

Debt to pay.

People from your time used to say that one could sooner move a mountain from it's resting place rather than tame your natural ways.

You wouldn't say you were a deity, per say, you thrived on chaos and setbacks, a living annoyance to the poor living things that breathed the same air as you, and roamed the earth by the same time you did.

It was in your nature to be destructive, yes, but you never wanted destruction, at least not full extinction. The darkness and the light were both two sides of the same rupee, they were one just like the other, beings of both sides would react the exact identical way to having their butts lit on fire. So, of course, you weren't one to pick and choose who you'd go after each day.

Thing is, most people didn't understand that —if anyone at all— so everyone just assumed you were a being of pure darkness, even if you actually saw yourself as more of a dark gray entity from a moral chart perspective.

And that was how you got yourself “killed”, if that's even the right thing to call it.

Somehow, no one seemed to care much when you lit whole villages on fire and made all of the walls of full-on castles start dissing out pure electricity, but they almost dislocated their jaws the moment you decided to do a silly trick and turn all of their lovely goddesses statues upside down for a day.

As if those same goddesses hadn't just ignored all of their prayers in the last hundreds of years you spent freely making their lives miserable.

You were stored in a vase. Not even a cool cool one. A plain clay vase deep within a temple under the ground. If you could choose, you'd have preferred something more majestic and up to the level of your power, but then again, it wasn't like you were in place to say anything in your defense.

Sometimes you just wondered how your small group of worshipers were. They probably weren't the best people out there, if you could say so yourself, but you were still curious if they ended up having similar fates to yours.

A long, long time later, you were "revived", for the same reason you were "killed".

Not the best choice on the part of whoever went through the trouble of doing all that, but who were you to judge? Or even to complain?

From what you could get from the boring evil monologue the guy in front of you was giving after having just woken you up from the longest nap you've ever had —since you couldn't really die— the guy wanted you to aid him in his quest to kill some other guys and take over the world or some boring nefarious plan like that.

You couldn't recall any of the names he just said, though, so you could only guess that you had either slept for a pretty damn long time, or you were in an entirely different world on itself.

Before you could fully decide on one of the two possibilities, the red guy sent you to fight against that group of guys he was talking about, seven men with varying shades of blonde hair along with two guys who weren't blond at all.

Perhaps you could have admired the strength of the red guy's magic, to just bring you out of your sleep like that and already straight up teleport you.

Thing is, you didn't really care enough to do that, you just did whatever you wanted the moment you realized you were fully conscious and in a physical body once again.

Were you chaotic and very much possibly evil? Yes. Were you stupid, however? Kinda No.

So the moment the opportunity presented itself, you followed those guys around, gathering information. Taking notice also of that one shadow looking dude, who was following them around just like you, seemingly with the intention of making their lives hell.

Maybe he'd be an interesting being to interact with, if he wasn't as prickly as a damn cactus. You swore you couldn't even approach the guy without him reacting like a startled cat, pointing his flimsy sword straight to your face. You swore to yourself you'd break that thing in half one of these days.

And so you set your sights fully on the blond —and the not so blond— guys, taking your time to also play around with the villages they went to and toy with the monster camps they passed by.

Of course, you couldn't just ignore the massively ominous aura drifting from the masks that one of the taller blondies carried around. Your hands itched to get a grasp on those things, whatever was sealed inside it was magical and possibly powerful, and the possibilities sent your mind on quite a dangerous frenzy.

The thing that made you a bit disappointed, however, was how long it took for them to notice your presence.

At some point you decided to start giving them some more obvious hints that what was following them wasn't friendly.

They seemed to really like bomb bags, which wasn't exactly safe for them when you could randomly activate those at will.

Also, you couldn't control the rain or storms, of course, but you definitely could attract lightning, especially since they all seemed to enjoy carrying around those identical metal swords.

Sometimes you just liked to pull on their hair and make knots on them, given that some had really long hair.

The wolf guy had a horse, one you could just startle really easily. Although you didn't have the result you wanted, since the wolf guy wasn't sent flying the moment his horse went crazy.

You caught him later, though. Making loud, high pitched noises to absolutely blow away his senses the moment he turned into a wolf to try and chase you down.

The fire that the short guy was using to mend a weapon randomly became overly strong, enough to have burned his whole arm, if he hadn't pulled away quick enough.

The scarf of the other one just one day became a bit too hard around his neck. It's a good thing for him that he was quick enough to pull it off his neck before he suffocated.

You watched as the one with pink hair almost had a breakdown, as all his colorful, shiny little trinkets and accessories having become dulled, turning completely pitch black, no traces of their original colors or magic left.

The kid tried to control the wind, only to have it blown straight back to his face, bringing leaves and sand with it.

You made sure their cook accidentally poured a bit too much pepper in their food, or salt, even sugar, if you felt like it.

The brown haired one suddenly lost control of his magic, what was supposed to heal their wounds ended up dyeing their hair blue for days on end.

That other guy who always overslept felt his pillow being pulled from under his head at random times through his nights.

And the tall guy's masks have all suddenly decided to disappear.

“Okay. Something is going on here. And it's not something natural.” Time sighed, looking around the camp, tired and worried, concerned.

Wild’s hair was an absolute mess and seemed to have caught on fire at some point, Warriors was glaring at his scarf, keeping it as far from his —almost purple— neck as possible. Wind had his hair almost as messy as Wild's, full of leaves and dirt, he was pretty sure there were also some bugs around it, his cheek had a thin cut from a sharp little rock.

Twilight was occupied comforting Epona, although the both of them seemed quite shaken up by something.

Four had some burns around the tips of his fingers, his hair usual blond hair now stained with blue, Hyrule sitting beside him with a frown, bandaging his hands rather than using his healing magic like he normally would.

Sky wasn't far from the two, almost dozing off despite the migraine that had settled behinds his eyes, which were now dotted with heavy bags from sleepless nights. Legend's terrible mood did not seem to disturb his need for a nap.

“Oh, really?” Legend almost growled back, positively fuming with barely contained rage gleaming in his eyes.

“Vet, I am not your enemy here, but once we find out who is doing this, you can direct your anger towards whoever they are.” Time shot a look to the other.

“That is, if it's even a person doing this. It might be some kind of monster.” Warriors commented.

“One thing we're sure of is that there's magic involved in this.” Hyrule spoke up, finished with the bandaging.

“I don't even know why you're so mad, Leg, you were possibly the least affected by this.” Four complained, eyebrows furrowed with stress. Even as a blacksmith, he was never a fan of getting burned, especially not being caught off guard like that!

“Agreed.” Wild was the next to speak, not bothering to brush the soot out of his hair. It wasn't quite the first time he almost been exploded, after all, even though the experience didn't get any better no matter how many times he went through it.

“You're really saying that, even though the kid only got a burst of wind to the face.”

“Ay! Mind your own business, Legend!” Wind sprung up in defense of himself, already looking to be tense prior to the attack, as the two began arguing.

While the group was in quite the mess, you took your chances to go ahead and approach stealthily to attempt to take the mask you were so curious about. Said mask being the last one you hadn't stolen borrowed yet, since the tall guy seemed to have noticed his other masks disappearances and decided to take extra means of protection towards that one.

In your opinion, your risks were all carefully thought out and calculated, however, you seemed to have completely forgotten about a certain wolf guy at the edge of the camp, standing beside his horse and looking straight at you.

You managed to grab the mask from the taller guy's belt! But at what price..?

Before you could even manage to turn around and run away with it, a hand shot out, hooking on the back of the collar of your shirt, pushing you to the ground in a second. And in another second, there was a blade shoved right in front of your face.

Goddammit.

You barely paid any attention to all the yelling, too occupied hugging your newly acquired possession tightly to your chest.

“Hand me that mask. Now.” A voice right behind you demanded, yet you still didn't move.

“No.”

The sword in front of you seemed to inch just slightly closer to your neck.

“At least tell me what it is, first!” You asked, a bit more squirmy, not at all comfortable with the vulnerability you had right now, since it seemed like that long sleep left you with a bit less power than you used to have, clearly a precaution, should you ever gain you body back. It was smart from your captors, but very much annoying for you.

“None of your business, now give me back my mask!” The tall guy —now in front of you— stressed. You could tell that his restlessness was hinting towards just how near he was to the end of his wits.

“If this piece of porcelain is as powerful as it seems, then yes, yes it is my business!”

It wasn't, not really, but you were too curious to just give up on information just like that.

The tall guy went quiet for a second before he finally replied, going with a question instead of actually giving you an answer like you were expecting from him.

“How do you know how powerful it is?”

“None of your business.” You threw his own words back at him and now the dull side of the sword was suddenly pressing up pretty uncomfortably against your skin, burning you. “Okay, fine, I'll tell you.”

And that was how you met the Links, and also how you became chained to them, unable to leave. After all, you did have to pay them back for all that you did to every single one of them.

But, for some reason, that simple dept seemed to only to get bigger the longer you spent time with them, despite the fact you weren't doing anything entirely wrong…

At least, that was the excuse they gave to you, yet something in you made you feel like that wasn't the full truth.

Extra (This happened)

Time: give me back my shit

Reader: nuh-uh

Time: fym nuh-uh

#yandere x reader #link x reader #tw: yandere #yandere linked universe #linked universe x reader #yandere link x reader #the legend of zelda #platonic yandere #yandere #the chain x reader #lu legend #lu wild #lu sky #lu time #lu wind #lu warriors #lu twilight #lu four #lu fic #lu fanfiction #lu hyrule

[tyrantisterror]

A couple months ago, one of the kids at the daycare brought in a D&D starter set and asked me to DM a game for him and some of the other kids in my class. Now, I had considered doing this in the past, but written it off for a variety of reasons, mainly asusming it'd be a couple days of chaos before the kids get sick of all the math involved and lose interest. But if a kid broaches an idea and others seem on board, I feel it's kind of my duty to at least try it.

So far my assumptions have been... mostly correct? Like, 70% of my predictions have come true, it is chaos, ten-years olds are the most murder-happy murder hobo PCs you could possibly imagine, and they've really been pushing my improv skills to their absolute limits with the choices they've made (and the constrictions I have on me as a daycare teacher). But they haven't gotten bored with the math, and they absolutely love playing the game still, which is nice. I like it when my students are passionate about something.

Anyway, I bring this up because seeing how children play with D&D canon has made me realize one critical fact:

D&D needs a Mons Game spinoff.

Kids love monsters. This is not my bias, it is something that has been categorically proven to me in my four years of working at a daycare. Every kid loves the idea of weird, impossible creatures, and they love the idea of befriending a whole horde of those creatures even more so. One of my kids in the daycare D&D campaign is making it his goal to find and tame every monster he can find in the kid-friendly monster manuals I bought for the class. He wants a Tarasque and a Bullete and an Owlbear and on and on and on, and keeps proposing tactics for capturing them based on his time playing Ark: Survival Evolved, a game where you can tame dinosaurs and mythic beasts while trying to survive a wild world full of danger and obstacles.

And it turns out that, while the mechanics of D&D don't support this, the philosophy of how its settings are structured according to those mechanics does. D&D is filled with hundreds of wild and imaginative monsters, all with distinct appearances, habits, adaptations, and environmental needs. The need to make the "dungeons" part of D&D interesting has required it to build really interesting monster ecosystems, and, much like mons games, the need to keep players buying new content has resulted in them building a vast library of creatures, because selling $50 books containing a slew of new monsters is a pretty guaranteed way to get money. D&D may not be a mons game, but it's accidentally made its setting perfectly suited to be one.

And what a money-maker that would be! Skew it more towards a child audience in tone, use simpler mechanics so kids can hop into it without spending, say, three solid weeks of afterschool daycare time crafting character sheets more or less one on one, and you'd have a game that would easily hook a younger audience while planting seeds of interest into the bigger game.

Of course, there are already indie TTRPG mons games, and I imagine some of them are actually good, but unfortunately they're not exactly easily obtainable on a daycare teacher's budget. And, you know, they wouldn't let you make a team of a bulette, an otyugh, a gray render, and an owlbear.

But then again, Wizards of the Coast continues to be absolute bastards, so maybe this idea is too good for them. Which makes it a good thing they're never going to read this blog post.

[valyrfia]

Just putting out there that Max and Charles both like cheating at the silly little games their team makes them do.

The two of them at RB doing those challenges would be absolute chaos.

We would see the dirtiest most underhand moves ever from each of them, they would make each other lose it laughing. I need Charles to RBR for my own sanity and for him to win a championship, but also for the absolute chaos of the PR game videos that would result from it. Because if you think that either Max or Charles can sit quiet and lose to each other in anything you are so wrong.

#lestappen #anon #charles leclerc #max verstappen

[bimobuddy]

Chasing the Chicken

Helluva Boss

SFW Tickle fic

I haven't seen this done yet so I decided to do it

Lee!Asmodeus, Ler!Fizzy

Summary: Fizzarolli gets the Fizz-equivalent to zoomies and Asmodeus is his target.

"Fizzy, baby, calm down, just take some deep breaths, please-"

Out of context, it may have sounded like Asmodeus was trying to calm his partner down from a panic attack. However, with context, you'd see the Sin holding his hands up in defense, and Fizz inching closer to him with an almost feral look in his eyes. And Asmodeus knew this look very well unfortunately.

Fizz lunged, but Asmodeus was faster. He dodged, barely, and ran to the other side of the bedroom. Now they were in the same stand-off as before, just in different positions. This had been going on for about ten minutes at this point.

Fizz's "zoomies" didn't happen often, but when they did, he was a ball of absolute chaos. Most of the imps knew to either lock the office doors or to stay out of his way because once he got running, he could not be stopped, not even by Ozzie sometimes. Especially not when Ozzie was his target.

The jester grinned. "Cluck, cluck~"

Asmodeus frowned. "That is rude- AH!" He jumped back to avoid getting jumped on. This time, Fizz wasn't stopping. He continued to run after him on all fours, even using his limbs to essentially launch himself, while Asmodeus was desperately trying to run around furniture without tripping or losing his robe. When he found himself cornered, he just teleported himself across the room in a quick flash of flame.

"Cheating!" Fizz called after him, having turned around to chase him again. The Sin found himself grinning at this. "We're demons, babe, we don't exactly play by the rules!" He laughed, making it back to their bedroom, shutting the door. He initially was going to lock it but a part of him felt bad about locking Fizz out of the room. All of this disappeared when the door was unceremoniously thrown open, revealing a mischievous little imp. Nevermind. He should have locked the door.

"Fizzy, it's too early for all this, come on now-" He backed up, maintaining eye contact, too afraid to turn his back on the gremlin in front of him. Unfortunately, he wasn't looking where he was going and ended up tripping, falling back onto the bed. Fizzarolli wasted absolutely no time and jumped up onto him, startling Asmodeus into giving a short shriek.

Extending his arms, Fizz wrapped Ozzie up and started scritching at his sides, resulting in deep chuckles rumbling from deep within his chest. He could easily break free, but he didn't want to risk hurting his little Froggy, so he just gave up and endured it. Fizz knew this too, and used it to his advantage.

Metallic fingers scritched and scribbled over his sides and tummy. Chuckles turned to deep, rich laughter as Ozzie lay there, trying not to squirm too much. "*snort* pff- Ahahahahaha! Fizzy, cohohome ohohon! Okahahay, you cahaught mehehe!" He laughed, hoping that would be enough. But there was a slight evil look in his eyes. Ozzie didn't know what else he wanted until he felt his hands wander lower, toward his hips, causing a giddy, nervous panic to blossom in his stomach right then.

"Wahahait, wAHAIT- Fihihizzy! Nohohot thehere! I'm nohot gonna doho ihihit!" He turned his head away, knowing exactly what Fizzarolli wanted now.

Said imp only grinned. "We'll see about that, Ozzie~"

He drilled his thumbs into the Sin's hips, wincing a little when his laughter came booming out. But the sight he was gifted with was beautiful. Asmodeus had his head tossed back, the widest smile he'd ever seen, and a brilliant blue blush painted from cheek to cheek. He was squirming a lot more now, kicking his legs out, yet still managing to not hurt Fizz, who was holding on tighter now as to not get thrown off.

*CR-CROW*

Fizzarolli stopped and burst out laughing, pulling his arms back and releasing Ozzie, who covered his blushing face, catching his breath. "Ugh, why do you insist on making me make that sound?" He asked, his voice slightly muffled from his hands, yet there was no real hint at being genuinely upset. Fizz grinned, sitting on his chest. "Because it's cute, duh."

Asmodeus removed his hands and looked up at his grinning partner and couldn't help but smile himself. "Well are you finally satisfied enough to calm down?"' "For now." The rooster snorted. "Good enough."

#sfw tickling community #tickle community #tickle fic #lee!asmodeus #lee!ozzie #ler!fizzarolli #helluva boss tickles

[gabessquishytum]

So glad to see you’re back! Hope your break was restful because it was certainly well deserved! Hope you continue to take time for yourself and prioritize yourself ❤️

I know Ameliot owns centaurs now but I had an idea I have to share lol.

One of the key parts of centaur mythology is that they kidnap human women to be wives. So centaur dream has never liked this process—it activates his social anxiety for one—but it’s what centaurs do.

And his family is on his case and this breeding season is going particularly rough on him. He really really needs a mate…

So when the herd ambushes a human town, dream, due to real need and lots of peer pressure, knows he can’t come back empty handed. Desire would never let him hear the end of it.

Problem is he hasn’t ever done this before so he isn’t entirely sure how to like…spot a human and sweep them up into his back.

So he just goes for it almost without looking, hooking his arms around the nearest nice smelling person and launching them over his shoulder and taking off, his grip firm around their waist.

It isn’t until they’re back and the herd is now entering stage two (seduction and courting the women) that dream takes a good look at his human and realizes…he grabbed a very confused man.

Hob was minding his own business when the centaurs came. Honestly people in town know when the centaurs are coming and so the only women around are very down for the process and are waiting around eagerly. The others who aren’t into it are already inside. Hob didn’t know about the tradition, being a visitor and no one bothered to warn him—he’s a man. So when the chaos starts, he was Not Prepared for a beautiful centaur to thunder up and grab him! The centaur is clearly also confused so it was clearly a mistake on his part but he still stiffly demands that hob will be his wife for the season…

Dream is going to die of embarrassment when desire finds out he grabbed a man on accident. But now he’s got to pretend this was all on purpose.

It isn’t all bad. The man is…very handsome and he smells perfect to dream. And he can’t let him go now, Dream really needs the help during the mating season, even if it won’t result in a pregnancy.

Dream will just have to seduce hob into wanting to stay.

(Stubborn as hob is, it might not be too hard. It just so happens that hob is a size queen)

Omg socially anxious idiot centaur Dream!!!! I love him so much already. I'm obsessed with the idea of Dream looking down at his "bride", and Hob looks back up at him... with his beard... and his flat (ish) chest... and his, ya know, penis. And Dream just wants to sink into the floor in his embarrassment.

But Hob? He's gonna make the best of the situation. He's gonna put on the pretty bridal gown with the rest of the chosen brides (no it doesn't fit him very well but he's still hot af). And he's gonna take Dream’s hand in the glade where the centaurs are dancing. He's not the greatest dancer but he is having a great time! Dream stumbles over his hooves as he realises that the smiling handsome man might actually be the most beautiful person he's ever seen.

The good thing about mating season, is that things like anxiety and awkwardness all fall by the wayside. All Dream feels is admiration for his new mate, and a strong desire to spend the season in the throes of delirious passion. And he discovers that despite being a man, Hob is really the perfect companion. He's horny. Really horny. Maybe even hornier than Dream, which is really saying something.

And it totally doesn't matter that they can't have kids, because they can still very much fantasise and talk dirty about it - which they do. A lot. Dream isn't even remotely shy when he talks about filling Hob up with many strong and magnificent foals. Hob is kind of obsessed with the way Dream will approach him from behind and mount him with absolutely no warning (thank goodness Hob keeps himself well oiled!) and start whispering filth in his ear about what a good little wife Hob is, how he was absolutely made for it and even the gods won't be able to take him from Dream.

Hob may be a traveller at heart but he'll find it hard to leave when the mating season ends. How will he ever satisfy himself without Dream’s massive cock? Maybe he'll stay another year. It may be impossible for them to have a child biologically, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't keep trying!

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw monsterfucking #cw forced marriage #but only a little #cw breeding

[earthstellar]

Earth Music on the Lost Light: Human Music That Cybertronians Like

we know for a fact that the Lost Light has access to human media, primarily movies, TV shows, and music-- and we know they generally seem to fucking love most of it, or at least find it interesting

but what would everyone's tastes be, in regards to Earth music?

time to talk about music for a long time!!! strap in, enjoy some tunes

we already know Cyclonus has impeccable taste and enjoys some of the best jams the 80s had to offer.

I can't help but imagine Rodimus being given a media archive of Earth tunes to approve for the Earth Dance would only result in chaos

(it's not like he would say no to anything, he absolutely blanket signed it all, it's just an obligatory thing-- or Ultra Magnus tells him it is, solely to keep him away from Important Captain Things that he would rather handle himself or hand off to Megatron, lmao. the shit that really needs to get done)

and this is how Rodimus discovers the somewhat questionable yet amazing genre of "mid-90s underground techno rave mix tapes"

(somewhat related, I still think Testarossa might as well be Rodimus' theme song, although it's not a 90s track and has more of an 80s synth vibe)

Rodimus would love that "computers are the future, fuck yeah let's make Digital Cool Future Music" mid-90s shit, there is no way he would not. it has the exact energy level that appeals to him and is also cheesy and weird and chaotic. and has like 500 different sub-genres, so his selection is endless, lmao.

he would probably find it cute that this is what humans imagined to be the peak of "digital sound" at the time. like lmao this was the best humans could do when asked to create music that sounds like it was made by robots or other mechanical space future cyber lifeforms--high concept!!! he would probably find it interesting and endearing. this is what organics think non-organic music is like!!

anyone acting as DJ at Swerve's on any given night would be so, so mad that Rodimus keeps requesting shit like "DJ MASSIMO ITALO DISCO BEST RAVE TUNES LIVE FROM LONDON 1995" or "DJ ARMPIT SLUDGE FEST HOUSE-RAVE-DRUMS N BASS SET 1996" for them to play, lmao

not individual tracks. the whole album. entire mix tapes of random, somewhat questionable mid-90s techno house rave bullshit.

that having been said, that good ass early 90s trance techno might send him into a spiral depending on his mood at the time, lmao (it's been known to happen)

but at the same time I can imagine him sharing tracks like Solar Quest - Space Pirates with Drift and they'd both just sit there and jam out, but quietly, thinking about shit while sitting in a port window next to each other (this was peak sleepover party techno, Back in My Day-- many deep conversations were had while listening to stuff like this, lol)

Drift would probably find some of Rodmus' recommended stuff to be pretty good for meditation-- although once he finds out about the human drug culture involved and certain concepts of experimental consciousness etc. that surrounded techno/rave and other related genres, it might cause him to pull back a little bit

(until he finds out about kandi culture, in which case, Drift would love the idea of hand-made unique bracelets and sentimental trinkets being made and exchanged at warehouse shows purely out of Good Vibes and Love for Fellow Beings and it turns out actually he fucking loves this shit, a chill vibes based "expand your mind" kind of music subculture appeals to his Spectralist sensibilities and he likes sharing tunes with Rodimus in return)

Drift picking tracks on his own would likely lead him down more of a classic rock road, but more of the chill side of things, more of the folksy type of classic rock -- I can see Drift really enjoying Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum or California Dreamin' - The Mamas and the Papas. or like, Incense and Peppermints - Strawberry Alarm Clock.

I mean, Drift might even go Full Earth Hippie and end up liking Green Tambourine - Lemon Pipers, lmao. in fact I am fairly certain of this.

I can see Drift loving Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In - The 5th Dimension. the whole vibe would probably appeal to him.

he'd quite possibly also like I Need a Dollar - Aloe Blacc, but it hits him in a place that still hurts to think about. so it's in rare rotation.

meanwhile Ratchet would probably be fine with classic rock too, like the good Dad Rock shit, just a lot of tracks from the 70s/80s -- a couple tracks he and Drift could probably agree on would likely lean more into the experimental/psychedelic rock side of things, like White Room - Cream or something like Wheel in the Sky - Journey

Rodimus tries to troll Ratchet by recommending Old Time Rock n Roll - Bob Seger, but joke's on him because it turns out Ratchet loves it, lmao

Swerve would go all out on classic bar jams for the evening playlist. Chill, good shit like Do It Again - Steely Dan.

Megatron would love Sinnerman - Nina Simone; He'd send it to Drift in a command crew level secured data packet, and they would both feel the hell out of this song. They don't need to talk about why. They never mention it to each other.

Megs would also probably love These Old Bones by Dolly Parton (mostly due to the lyrics, rather than the upbeat tune, but he would find it relatively relaxing), as well as 9 to 5 (of course), and similar music. Country from back in the day when country music was more about the struggle of poverty and the working life of rural people. Country music from back when songs told all the untold stories. He can respect that.

He'd listen to You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive by Patty Loveless and it would get him right in the fucking spark. Megatron is the Cybertronian equivalent of an Appalachian miner, god dammit. He understands.

Megatron would also like Johnny Cash; He would overthink Ghost Riders in the Sky and it would depress him, partly because it reminds him of Seekers... sigh.

I think he'd also like Cold War - Janelle Monae. He'd be way into good lyrics; What's being said in a song matters most to him. "This is a cold war, you better know what you're fighting for..." Indeed.

anyway I like thinking about what jams Cybertronians might like from their available selection of Earth tunes

#long post #transformers #maccadam #maccadams #idw drift #idw 1 #idw transformers #mtmte #lost light #idw ratchet #idw rodimus #idw swerve #idw megatron