#more like 3 months there is no shame in my mutual game

[haezen]

more slytherin sakusa kiyoomi please 🥹

hi anon! this one had been in the works for a while, but you inspired me to finish. thanks for sending in a request ily.

ATTENTION: read this part first because it will make more sense. but, if you read this part alone, i guess it will still work on its own.

pairing: slytherin!sakusa kiyoomi x reader genre: hurt/comfort, angst to fluff wordcount: 3.6k

happy reading <3

masterlist

You and your best friend, Hanamaki Takahiro, were currently standing together underneath the pavilion with the sole purpose of watching your mutual friends on the Slytherin team. 

The players were waiting for the rainstorm to pass before resuming their practice: all huddled around in a circle with their hoods up. It was nearly impossible to see past the rain due to the force of the wind and rain whipping around the pavilion the two of you stood under. 

Makki had suggested that the two of you go watch your friends practice this week because they had a big game coming up soon. You had nothing better to do and Oikawa had begged you to come watch him specifically as he claimed he needed your praise to calm his nerves.  He made a scene of asking you, even going as far as bending down on one knee with a rose he had conjured up on the spot—his crazy, romantic gestures always made you laugh and you couldn’t help but accept knowing that he simply just wanted you to feel included in something he loved. 

You squint your eyes with the intention of trying to tell the players apart, but with the intensity of the rainstorm, you found it difficult.

“Looking for someone in particular, aren’t you?” Hanamaki smirked knowingly, nudging your shoulder with enough force to make you lose your balance. 

“I swear, one day I might just strangle you in your sleep. Then, you’ll really regret ever being mean to me.”  

As you regained your balance from Makki’s shove, you huffed in frustration at how observant he could be. 

“Oh, but I thought you could handle a little roughin’ up?”  Makki sported a shit-eating grin with the quirk of his brow. “Can’t you, (Name)?” 

He cackled as you reared your fist back to punch him in the chest. Although you made a show of winding your fist back to hit him, when your fist made contact, you put no real strength behind it. He cackles even louder when you pout and are unable to respond with a witty comment like you usually would. It’s like he’s proud of himself for bringing up your sworn-to-death secret; you can only side eye him from your peripheral, trying to move on from the topic at hand as soon as possible.

You fight off the urge to scrunch your nose up in shame as you recall the truth you confessed to your friends when playing Truth or Dare a couple months ago.

“What’s something you’ve never told anybody else?” Oikawa looks in your direction after he reads a ‘Truth’ question off a card. 

You and your friends sat in a circle on the floor, surrounded by the darkness of the Slytherin commons; it was extremely late at night, but there was no stopping Makki and Mattsun once they set their minds on something.  The only light in the room was the dim light from the logs that were burning in the fireplace. You sat across from Oikawa, staring blankly at the floor, desperately trying to think of something shallow to say in response. 

“(Name), make it something juicy or else you’re wasting my and Mattsun’s precious time.” Makki, who was sitting on your left, leaned in close enough for his warm breath to fan your face and you covered it on instinct. 

“Oh god…okay.” 

You spread your fingers apart to peek at your friends who were anxiously waiting for your answer. 

“I’ll spill. But only if you guys promise to never bring it up again.” You tore your hands from your face and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to accept the ugly fact that you’re going to tell all of your closest friends one of your biggest fantasies.

 Sugawara and Kuroo both nodded in your direction while Makki and Mattsun shared knowing looks; a look that meant they’d store this information in their memory forever. You groaned at the realization but carried on anyway. 

“(Name)-chan, it stays between us. Promise.”Oikawa smiled and extended his pinky towards you. You returned the smile and graciously wrapped your own around his to seal the promise. 

“Okay, so…”

“(NAME)!” Mattsun shouts when he realizes you’re trying to stall; he’s extremely impatient in every aspect of life, even when playing a simple game of Truth or Dare. He groans, stretches his legs out dramatically, and falls backwards to lay on his back. You seize the opportunity to playfully slap his stomach, which causes him to immediately roll over to avoid another.  

“My truth is…that I secretly want someone to maybe…manhandle me?” You hesitated as you spoke each word, eyes flickering to each of your friends' faces to gauge their reactions. They all burst out in a laughter so contagious that you couldn’t help but join in with a laugh of your own. 

Makki especially found this confession of yours the funniest, considering he was the only one who knew the person you secretly wished to ‘manhandle’ you.

“I told you to never bring that up again, you idiot!” You groan as you cover your red face, not wanting to see Makki’s teasing eyes and wide smile.

 One of Makki’s most notable traits is his brilliant memory – he never fails to forget the things you thought you told him in confidence, bringing up something you forgot you told him in the first place. 

Since he’s been your best friend for so long, you know he truly meant no harm in teasing you. When he remembers the shocked expression that crossed your face just a moment ago, he clutches his aching stomach and wipes the tears that threatened to fall from his fit of laughter.

“I really can’t stand you.”

“That was so good, really. The look on your face was priceless. I wish Suna was over here to capture it.”

You cross your arms over your chest and give him a glare. 

“You remember that dare that you never did?”

“Yeah?” You ask hesitantly, afraid of what Makki might say next.

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his trousers while motioning his head towards the group of guys huddled around for cover near the field.  You followed the direction he tilted his head towards, only for them to land on Sakusa Kiyoomi, your year-long crush. You met your best friend’s honeyed-colored eyes with a stony glare, watching as his smirk grew to the cheesiest grin you’d ever seen on his face.

“I think I got a perfect dare for you. I’m redeeming it now.”

“Now?!” You yell in disbelief. 

The team turns around to find the source of the noise, and even over the sound of rain, your voice carries over. You can’t help but look for Sakusa amongst everyone, and surely enough, you catch his attention.

Makki stares at you once he realizes the two of you made eye contact with one another. He relishes the faraway look in your eyes as you watch Sakusa fend off a clingy Miya Atsumu. Your best friend watches the fleeting look of admiration that graces your face suddenly morph into one of annoyance as you turn to him again.

“Why now?” You whisper-yell, eyebrows furrowing.

He remains silent and you immediately read his mind. You feel like throwing up and you fidget with the (your house colors) tie that hangs loosely around your neck.

“I can’t, ‘Hiro!”

He shakes his head with a soft smile, reaching to adjust your tie for you once he remembers that you fidget when you’re nervous. A habit that you’ve never been able to break.

“You won’t know until you try.” 

Your eyes land on Sakusa once more, mind racing as you thought of all the times you imagined confessing to the brooding Slytherin. Hanamaki pushes you forward, effectively tearing you out of your thoughts, and you stumble forwards.

“Don’t be such a pussy, (Name). It doesn’t suit you.” 

Something about those teasing words inspires a spiteful courage inside of you. You whip around, “Y’know what, fine! Fine, ‘Hiro. I’ll do it. ” 

“Finally!” He exclaims loudly as you pull up your hood and make your way to Sakusa.  

Hanamaki holds his breath as he watches you run to the field and over to the cover where the players are all standing underneath.

You’re soaked and out of breath when you reach the canopy, partly because you’re out of shape and partly because you’re scared half to death to confess to Sakusa Kiyoomi out of all people. None of them notice your figure approaching until you beckon to Sakusa. He points to himself, silently asking for your confirmation that it’s him you want to talk to. You nod as you inhale deeply to compose your nerves; he steps forward out of the group of players that move over to accommodate his large frame, and gestures to move over to the side, behind the large stands – away from prying eyes and eavesdroppers – for a little privacy.

Some of the guys whistle but you ignore them all while standing in the face of Sakusa. 

“Hey.” You say as you’re still trying to catch your breath.

“Hi.” He responds, uncomfortable and oddly enough, he might even feel curious as to why you had come over to talk to him.

His curly locks are damp from the rain and he runs a hand down his face because the raindrops trickle down his forehead. He’s stupidly attractive and you hate it. Damn you, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Sakusa generally feels uncomfortable in the presence of women, but he feels even more so in your presence. He thought he had gotten off easy by establishing a friendly exchange with you, with bringing you tea every other day, he thought that he wouldn’t have to hold a true conversation with you.  But you manage to surprise him yet again; he was shocked to see you approaching the team and even more shocked when his teammates nudged his side, trying to tell him that it was him you were asking for.

Over the time you’d spent admiring Sakusa from afar, you’ve gathered that he isn’t skilled in hiding his true thoughts; you often can decipher his mood by just watching his expression change with the tiniest movements. 

He raises his eyebrows ever so slightly as he watches you catch your breath. You know that he’s thinking: ‘What is it?’

“I won’t take up too much of your time-”

“You’re not.” He assures you pointedly. “We’re waiting for the storm to pass anyway.”

You nod in appreciation, grateful that Sakusa (famously known for his cold demeanor) was reassuring you in this nerve-wracking moment. You inhale once more, letting the humid air fill up your lungs, and blow it out with your lips pursed. You’re incredibly nervous and it shows. The realization that you’re about to confess to one of the most coveted guys in Hogwarts is already nauseating, yet you’re more worried about the fact that Makki is knowingly waiting for you to return. You can already see his face: pink eyebrows wiggling and his lips curled up in a devilish grin. Your best friend makes you sick to your stomach and you think that he deserves a smack on the shoulder for putting you up to something so terrifyingly embarrassing as confessing to the Sakusa Kiyoomi.

“This might be ridiculous because–well, we don’t even really know each other.” You start, pulling your robe tighter against your body because you don’t know what to do with your hands. “I think that I might just be curious. Okay, that’s not the right word.”

Sakusa’s curiosity is growing by the second. At this point, he’s even overcoming his uneasiness talking to women solely because of how nervous you are — he might even pity you at this moment. Sakusa really wants to interrupt you and urge you to, ‘spit it out,’ but he has a soft spot for you; so, he stays silent and waits for you to finish.

“Ok.” You shake your head from side to side as you imagine you’re shaking the nerves away. It’s almost endearing. Almost. 

“I just came over here to say that I like you, Sakusa Kiyoomi.” You watch as his eyes widen but you push through it. “And I really like the tea you make for me. You make really good tea. I don’t really expect anything, but I wanted to tell you that.”

He’s shocked. Sure, he’s received plenty of confessions from girls before, but he’s never received a confession from a person he’s actually been interested in. Predictably, Sakusa can’t help but let the shock wash over him. His eyes still wide as he takes in the information, and as it processes, he feels like his whole body is on fire. The heat that soon overtakes his body travels up the back of his neck and his cheeks; surely, he’ll accept your confession in a heartbeat. He’s even imagined it. Yet, he stands there in shock as you believe he’s trying to figure out how to let you down easy.

“I-I’m sorry.” You splutter out as the inevitable embarrassment of being rejected by your crush sets in. “Okay, well. Have a good practice or-” You look out to the field and realize that they might not even have practice. At this point, you’re tripping over your words and you just want to escape; you need to escape the shell-shocked expression on Sakusa’s face.  “I’ll see you around, Sakusa.”

He says nothing as you hurriedly walk back to the pavilion where your best friend is waiting for you. He watches as you disappear from around the stands, and he continues to watch your figure get smaller as you walk away. You finally reach the pavilion and grab Makki’s arm to drag him away.

He feels dread fill his heart at the realization that he just blew his chance with you. Sakusa feels like a coward. How could he have messed this up so badly?

When you reached Makki, the grin on his face disappeared almost immediately when he saw the look on your face. 

You’re trying your hardest to keep your cool and you’re trying even harder to push down the humiliating fact that you just got rejected like every other girl who has confessed to Sakusa. You’re accepting the fact — in real time — that you’re not any different from them.

“C’mon.” You grumble and that’s all you can manage to say because you don’t trust your voice. You grab the sleeve of Makki’s robe harshly and pull him along with you.

“What happened?”

“I’m a fool.” You mumble under your breath. “I’m so fucking stupid. Why did I ever think that a guy like him would like me back?”

As you drag Makki along, the two of you are speed-walking to reach the doors of the school. In the process, you get soaked even further than you already were. Meanwhile, Makki’s observant eyes are raking over your face for answers; he’s hoping that he can find some while just looking at your side profile.

The rain pours down on top of you and Makki and you finally reach the doors. You swing them open with such force that the back of the door hits the wall. 

At this moment, Makki is too afraid to speak up. He feels guilty because it wasn’t for him urging you to do your dare, you would’ve never been upset in the first place. You wouldn’t have gotten rejected because – Makki knows – you would’ve never found the courage to confess to Sakusa. He thought that if he had dared you to confess, that your dream of a reciprocated love would come true. But he was wrong.

“I’m sorry, (Name). But I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what happened.” Makki finally manages to stop you in your tracks as he stopped following you.

Your back is facing him because you don’t want to cry. You know that if you meet your best friend’s concerned filled eyes, that you will definitely break down. There’s also the fear that he won’t get the hint and will tease you about being rejected. 

“He said nothing.” You say dryly. “I told him that I liked him and he just stood there.”

He’s silent for a moment before speaking up.

“He doesn’t deserve you.” Is all Makki can come up with. 

Does he comfort you? He’s not entirely sure how to do that. Or should he hit you with the truth? Sure. It’s what you deserve. You deserve the truth and Makki believes that there will be no one great enough to deserve you. Not even Sakusa. 

“I’m going back to my dorm.” You whisper under your breath and you don’t care if he heard you. 

All you want is to take a warm shower and hide in your room. There’s nothing that can save you from the humiliation you suffered except for solitude.

So you do just that. You rush to your dorm and ignore the sounds of the water dripping onto the floor, the noise that your soaked shoes make, and all the stares along the way. You take a shower and let the water run down your back. Then, you crawl into bed and cover yourself up with blankets for the rest of  the day until you fall asleep.

When you wake up the next morning, you contemplate whether or not you’ll visit the library. Will Sakusa be there, sitting in his spot? Will he spare you a pitiful glance once he sees you beeline for your own table? You don’t even want to run through all the possibilities of what could happen because you’ll talk yourself out of going. And you desperately need to go study.

Ultimately, you end up going because you would rather die than lose a day of studying a month before exams. 

You walk into the library with your head down, staring at your shoes. You’re terrified that Sakusa’s going to be sitting in that spot, seemingly taunting you with all the ‘could haves.’ Some part of you is afraid that simply seeing him would make you fall into a pit of despair.

He’s not there. 

You slump down into your spot with relief, letting your head rest on the back of your chair. You close your eyes, silently thanking whatever higher being for Sakusa not being here at this moment.

But then you hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Your instinct forces you to open your eyes, and like out of your worst nightmare, Sakusa is standing behind you but he’s upside down due to your position.

You feel the bile daring to come up your throat and you want to scream out of frustration and embarrassment.  You sit up and turn around to face him, your hands gripping the back of your chair until they turn white. When you say nothing– because what is there to say? – he starts first.

“Hi.” He says awkwardly. “Can I sit with you for a minute?” 

You’re confused and he understands. Sakusa isn’t sure how he managed to ruin something so fast yesterday. He’s convinced that everything he touches – he ruins.

 He waits for your response and you nod hesitantly, rotating your body as he walks to sit in the chair across from you. When your eyes meet his dark ones, you think that he is avoiding your gaze like he’s nervous. He’s wearing his mask and he unexpectedly wraps his fingers around the string hanging behind his ears, pulling his mask down to show his face to you.

When Sakusa watched you leave yesterday, Atsumu emerged from around the back of the stands where he was crouching behind to listen to your confession. He yelled, “You idiot ‘Omi!” and proceeded to scold Sakusa for being so cold.

Sakusa definitely got an earful from Atsumu, but it brought him back to reality. He knew that he had to fix things with you, even though he’s not used to repairing any damaged relationship in his life; something in him wanted to give this a try.

He knew that he didn’t want to apologize right away in fear that you'd run off. He’d even rehearsed ways in which he’d ask you, but only because Atsumu made him practice – Atsumu knows that he’s not the best with words, but Sakusa is even more inept.

“Would you like to go to this cafe with me?” He asked painfully, averting his eyes to the side because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to ask if he was looking at your face. “I heard that the tea is good there–the flavor that you like.”

Your heart dropped at the question. Is this a pity invite or a cruel joke? No, you deduce, Sakusa wouldn’t be one to take part in such cruel jokes.

“I don’t want you to take me somewhere because you feel like you have to.”

“I want to.” And his attention returns to you. Under his gaze, you feel small, yet you somehow believe him – believe that he’s being genuine.

 Is a guy like Sakusa, who is so full of doubt and animosity towards strangers, capable of forming a connection with someone like you?

“Okay.” You nod for yourself while wiping your clammy hands on the material of your skirt. “I’ll go.”

You see his shoulders drop and you realize he’s relieved. You smile unknowingly and he catches a glimpse of your fleeting expression. 

“Let’s go.” He says as he gets up, pulling his mask back over his nose and mouth while simultaneously collecting his things.

“Let’s go?” You repeat in confusion.

“Yeah,” Sakusa verifies as he stands by your seat, unintentionally towering over you. “I have to make it up to you.” He mumbles, almost incoherently, behind his mask.

You wordlessly listen to him, packing up your textbooks and other materials to stuff them all into your bag. As you do so, you’re trying to get over the rapid pounding of your heart.

“And you can call me Kiyoomi.”

#haezen writes! #haezen requests #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa x y/n #sakusa fluff #sakusa angst #slytherin!sakusa #haikyuu!! #haikyuu hogwarts #hogwarts AU #hq angst #hq fluff #hanamaki takahiro #hq angst/comfort #hq angst to fluff

[anonbinaryweirdo]

HI !! i feel like we shld get to know each other more outside of what weve already told each other sooo-

im filipino !! sometimes i use taglish (tagalog + english) when speaking <3 m a lot more fluent in english tho ;; i loveee all shades of blue, specifically periwinkle (its so pretty……..), n i also love pokemon, kny, n mha :3 (rlly hate their fanbases tho. i have. words. about them.) i have several phobias, some of them pretty weird to have as a 16y/o 😭 its uh,,, stairs, dolls, tight spaces, tiny holes, clowns, darkness n the smallest problems cause me a lot of distress… (yesterday i couldnt use spotify abroad for more than 2weeks n i was panicking for like 15 minutes until i was able to change my location 😭) i watch a lot of matpat (namely film theory n game theory), n coryxkenshin !! a few poketubers here n there (mandjtv, patterrz n pm7) but these two r who i watch mainly <3

omg

i only know English BUT I'm learning German :D (I haven't seen Duolingo in months but i can pick up on things fast)

my attention span and memory is... phew. I also tend to have a short fuse but I'm very patient and I can control myself I promise pls don't run away from me. also my first instinct when someone does something to upset my friend is to get physical (and if it's through screen I can argue for hours. one of my teachers+ bestie said I could run for something (governor, president, etc.. I forgor)

green. i love greens I love them all sm. I like earthy colors but green <333

i curse... a lot :D

i also watch a lot of matpat !! I'm also an 8bitryan (my comfort YouTuber fr) and Kubz Scouts enthusiast 🫶🏽

i also like kny and mha !! Nezuko n Kaminari my loves <3 (t.. the fanbases.......//neg)

I'm typically calm in situations most of the time, save for when I'm not going feral and committing arson on this very blog

I'm not scared of much? probably adults that are over 25 but other than that nothing IMMEDIATELY comes to minspiders.

I use endearments a lot !! despite being the (so far as I know) second youngest of all my mutuals I call (as long as I know they're comfortable with it) a lot of them "baby," chances are I'll use platonic endearments on you too out of habit so lmk if this makes you uncomfortable <3

i love kids 🫶🏽 I helped raise a few and I was/am a babysitter,, love them just as much as I love dogs

i like. i like to ramble and rant (as you're seeing rn). don't let me find out we have a similar interest AND you allow rambling I'll go crazy real fast. speaking of I hyperfixations I fixate on a lot of things at the same time sosjksj(rihh now its mainlty Hamilton and Genshin)

i can't remember much (like. birthdays, names, dates, or anything you might have told me two seconds ago. i probably zoned out or it just flew past my head) but I do (try to) remember small details about people :D

I am. not on any medication for adhd so I go insane on here. a lot. my thoughts are js.. if I think it I say it and THEN think about what I've said AFTER I say it and bang my head against the table in shame

i like collecting leaves

i also like women but I mean I guess men are attractive too

#theres. more i wanted to put #but im. im rambling. #❓ get to know oli

[spainkitty]

Tag Game

Rules: Share 10 facts about yourself and tag 10 other blogs! I want to get to know my mutuals, and the people I follow a little bit :) The facts can be about anything!

@sillyliterature tagged me daaaays ago! Of course I waited until after midnight on a school night, after a 5-day school break, to finally write/post this... /sigh I had fun scrounging for things about me you should know. I hope anyone seeing this gets a giggle.

1. I'm an American living in China, teaching English. I technically teach "Critical Reading and Writing", and a lot of the curriculum I built myself! (I prefer creating teaching materials to teaching and I'll be changing careers soon cuz I so tired)

2. I love cats. Can you tell? My mom has given me a cat-related nickname since birth, SHE loves cats, and so I feel like it's just in the genes now. My metaphorical daughter niece also loves cats, which shows I'm right. I have two cats right now, Birdie & Canela (Canela is the tabby-baby, she has brownish-ginger spots she inherited from her mother, so yes, she is named "cinnamon" on purpose. Birdie is the tortie and the Mama-cat!)

3. I wrote a book! It's published! I'm supposed to write a sequel. It is... almost half-done? A little more than half-done? It's a YA fantasy called "The Coward's Emblem" 🥰 There are dragons! My bestie drew my dragons for me and they're BEAUTIFUL!!! LOOK BELOW!! SO COOL! (I also have commissioned art of the characters by Sabri on insta and they're BEAUTIFUL, too!! If you wanna know more about my actual for real OCs for my real book, pls lemme know!)

4. I've eaten so many Hot Cheetos, I've coughed stomach acid. Maybe living in China is good for me, no Hot Cheetos here... hmmmm

5. The only video games I've ever played from beginning to end on my own are: Harvest Moon: Animal Parade, KOTOR, KOTOR II, and Dragon Age(s). I can only play on Easy/Casual because I'm a crap gamer (I've never finished a Pokémon game), but I really love the stories/characters. ☺️

6. Atton x f!Exile fanart has been my lockscreen for months, and Viktuuri art from Yuri! on Ice! has been my phone bg wallpaper even longer. Maybe since 2016...

7. Rapid Shot Shame-Fame: I meowed through 7th-8th grade. Yes, you read that correctly. I've been a weeaboo. I was in the Hetalia fandom (hence the tumblr name). I was in the SuperWhoLock fandom, too + Teen Wolf, and, my true claim to fame, I went to Dashcon AND I WAS A PANELIST. At THREE panels. No, I was never paid. 🤣

8. I've almost been in a cult twice... maybe three times, but definitely twice. Only the fact I am lazy and didn't live In The Location of the 'Cult' prevented me from actually joining. (Did spend 40 bucks on that book for one of them, though. Ugh. Gimme my 40 bucks back.)

9. I've been to three Disney parks of six. (The Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Shanghai is amazing! Rode it twice! Tron and Soarin' O'er the Horizon are overrated.)

10. I've played DnD since I was 18, and I ALWAYS find a group. In USA, in South Korea, and now in China; I find the nerds and I friend them no matter where I am (yes, I am a nerd, too). My first finished original novel (unpublished) was based on my first ever DnD character: Karik the Master of Many Forms Druid 😀 My current character is Tepin Pallis Cuautli Lozano, a Wild Shaper Druid, the first time I've played a Druid again in almost ten years (3.5e was better, fite me 💪🤜).

#kitty babbles #woulda look at my weird ass life choices #pls girl go to sleep #@ me #keto tag #sillylit tag #Tumblr Tag Game #long post

[spikesbimbo]

Getting Nudes

-MSBY

Tags: phone sex, mutual masturbation, daddy kink

a/n: the only men I would trust with my nudes :/

18+ Minors DNI

- Shoyo Hinata

You made his dick hard in public

You better apologize rn  >:  /

Pls bby boy’s face is red after opening your message of your nude body reflecting in the mirror, the same mirror he fucks you in front of.

The dirty thoughts fastly consuming his brain, his dick rising along with his temperature as he tries to hide it under the table he was sitting at. 

Texting back “ur mean” while quickly getting the check so he can go back to you.

It doesn't help that he left you this morning without taking care of his morning wood, but luckily he drove his car so he could be in private as he tried to calm himself down.

He doesn't even get past the door before your naked frame is already on his, dragging him to the bedroom as he's still in awe of what's happening.

Pride growing in you, knowing in the back of your head all you have to do is send a pic for him to run to you, like a puppy coming after treats.

-Atsumu Miya

“Ansdfwer your fuckxing pfhone” he's snapping you back, fingers barely keeping up.

Brain and dick racing after you left him on read, sending him a video of your ass in those see through panties, hugging it just right, hearing the smirk in your voice.

Tsumu took a screenshot!, headass.

Calling you over and over, trying to facetime you as he ran to the bathroom in the practice gym, you still not answering.

Wanting to tease him bc you want him to feel the way you do after not getting his attention for a few days, this back and forth going on for months.

He can't even think anymore, dick too hard to hide, texting you a simple “otw” running out, leaving all his belongings behind.

Starts his car, trying to rev it in neutral. :/

Almost crashes speeding to get to you. dont do this

- Kiyoomi Sakusa

Freezes. 

The pic of you wearing his jacket opened with nothing under it, saying “come home, miss you : (“ with a pout on your face sending him over the edge.

Hands shaky as they try to respond. “Later baby. You know i'm at work.”

But he knows after the read notification came up, that your pout grew real. His heart (and dick) hurting that he couldn't come and take care of you.

Quickly goes to the bathroom, taking a pic of his length though his boxers, hard as could be.

 Texting “if you be good, you'll get it later.” a few minutes after sending the pic.

You sent him a “mkay” after a few minutes, him not knowing that you were already touching yourself to his pic.

But you stopped, wanting to be his good girl, knowing that his touch felt 1000% times better than yours.

The both of you daydreaming about each other for the rest of the day; you not being able to focus on your online class and him barely making any hits at practice, them asking if he felt good to which he responded “no”

To be fair he wasn't lying, he wasn't gonna feel good until you were wrapped around him, and the same went for you.

They let him go early, not knowing he was rushing to get back to you and your pretty little body under his jacket. Thinking about you the whole drive home. < 3

- Kotaro Bokuto

!SIMP ALERT!

Has no shame showing his love for you.

Responds instantly (even if it was just a regular text), letting out an obvious groan as he runs somewhere private.

But you accidentally sent him a pic of yourself dressed up for tonight ;)

Not realizing as you thought you sent him a pic of the food you just made after that, going on about your day.

You go and take a bath, getting all pretty for later, you phone on silent so you can relax

When you answer the phone later after seeing so many notifications, you immediately open your messages, realizing what you've done. Being upset that you let him see it before he was supposed to.

Seeing tons of praise and dick pics sent back to you, saying “cant wait till i get home” and “send more please” with a like 8 pouty face emojis.

Noticing that he sent those an hour ago, meaning he should be on his way home now. 

A grin appearing on your face as you finish putting on your lotion, reaching for your lingerie, knowing that he would be on you as soon as he walked through the door.

Glad that you accidentally send those, putting it in the back of your head to do it again, loving his reaction.

-Shugo Meian

Pls, he couldn't answer the phone when you facetimed him bc he was busy working.

Your poor little self just wanted his attention so you'd get it, one way or another.

Spamming his phone with your nudes and the pics he took while he was fucking you, knowing it would cause him some trouble.

And around an hour later your phone is ringing, seeing daddy <3 pop up on the screen.

And not even a second after you pick it up you hear, “fuck baby” his groaning making you even more needy for him.

But you couldn't be with him not matter what, him being in a different country for a game, your hips grinding as you heard him say “fuck angel, it dont feel like you” relazing what he was doing, before you joined yourself.

Turning the camera to face your body after he told you to, him doing the same.

You cumming way more than him, your body so neglected, just the sight of him was enough.

He finally stopped after you couldn't even move your wrist anymore, turning the camera up to his face before sighing out. “Stg baby i'm taking you with me next time”

#msby x reader #msby #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smut #hinata shoyo x reader #hinata x reader #atsumu x reader #astumu smut #hinata smut #sakusa x reader #sakusa smut #bokuto x reader #Bokuto smut #meian shugo x reader #shugo meian x reader #meian x reader #hq x reader #hq smut #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you

[sunsents]

Empty - F.W (1/2)

Gah daym this was a JOURNEY to write. I swore to myself to never write angst because, well I suck at it. But here we are, I swear this has a good ending because my heart can't bear that. I could've written this much better, so I promise to bring my A GAME for chapter 2. Enjoy, also Lee in this is a hate crime. This is very story telling-esk so I hope it flows well.

I wouldn't have written this chapter without the help of my good friend @mochiixjimin she helped me edit and spice up this whole thing so thank you so much to her! She's an amazing writer, go check out her work and show her some big love right now or else!! her wattpad

Chapter 1 out of 2 (Backstory)

Summary —> Life has always been a cruel joke to you, yet you simply play along. Overshadowed by Eva Burke your whole life, watching from the sidelines while everyone flooded each other with love, it would always feel like a joke.

Pairing: fredweasley x fem!reader

Word count: 6.1k

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST (with a fluffy ending in the second part) / One mature scene (18+) and then it's angst again <3 / Some slander / Offensive language

Rating: 18+

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

You were a bright child.

Beaming bright enough to keep a tight lipped smile during flu-shots, and enough to put on a happy façade when your dad threw away the drawing you had done of your family dog, rather than hang it up on the fridge.

Children have foolish dreams, and that was yours. Your friends in preschool boasted about their pictures being hung like trophies on fridges, with decorative magnets and even bigger pink bow ties.

The fridge in the Y/L/N manor was empty. Always empty, just how Ms. Y/L/N liked it. Empty marble floors with empty rug designs, and empty rooms with even emptier people living in it. They were both empty people. Hollow and void of any emotion, at least towards you.

You were different though. You were filled to the brim with ambition and hope and so many positive emotions that your parents never seemed to reflect on you. You were like those Disney princesses. The princesses always had hope, and when you have hope good things happen.

Right?

Your dad never meant to give you false hope. He just wished you’d keep your mouth shut as he worked until late hours. Using big words and having big aspirations, you shouldn’t have.

Mr and Mrs Y/L/N weren't bad people per say, just busy. They didn't know how to raise a child, this was obvious, because the purpose of even having a child was to fix their marriage. But a temporary fix wouldn't do it, it never did. There was always that hole on the roof, leaking rain of despair into their falsely built home that no bucket big enough could hold back. Because it always found a way to overflow.

They didn't know how to show their love, so they did it with money, clothes, toys and crayons that you would later use to draw pictures of your family, only to have them end up in the dumpster once again.

They spoiled you rotten, bought you gifts you never even dreamed of asking. You just shut up and enjoyed it, what else could you do? Whine and demand attention? Risk losing their favor? There was no favor to lose.

You got yourself a fat A plus on your third grade math test. Star stickers on your chest, you entered through the glass double doors of your house with a crooked smile - two front teeth missing of course - making your joy all the more endearing. Your backpack strapped tightly over your narrow shoulders, hanging low with all the crammed books you pushed before leaving school because you were just so excited to show your parents.

You received a big sloppy kiss from your Nanny, who practically was like a second mom to you, and dashed right into your fathers office to show him your new accomplishment.

"Good job, I'm proud of you."

You froze. You found a way to actually get their attention. The attention you so craved, the recognition you would die for. This was revolutionary. Basically a new era for you.

Nanny made you a star shaped cake that night, and sat with you while gently stroking your hair and listening to you blabber about how easy the math questions were. It felt warm, motherly love. Even if it was false, it would never compare to the love of your own mother, a love you would never get.

You spent all your night studying, your eyes burning under the harsh light of your lamp in the early mornings and your pencil, ebbing away over sheets and sheets of blank paper. Writing away your little hands off until they ached, just to snatch another A and get a good job.

This was good, it worked out very well. You became that student who looked forward to class, just to get a good grade and have the validation of your parents. The sight of your father’s lips quirk up even in the slightest, and how your mother’s eyes shone briefly in appreciation of your hard work, even if it was for a quick second, it was worth it.

Until the new neighbors moved in.

Mr. Burke was a round, cheerful man with an even rounder belly, and a big fat pipe that always hung on his lips. Mrs Burke looked and acted like those fairy godmothers you adored. You couldn’t believe such people existed. Mr Y/L/N invited them over for dinner, for courtesy. He was not happy about said courtesy.

He ended up liking the couple, they had a little daughter called Eva, who was small and adorable with round red cheeks and big doe eyes. Not only Mr and Mrs Burke, but the Y/L/N’s adored Eva as well. She was happy, always smiling, and her teeth weren't nearly as crooked as yours, not to mention she had pretty long hair like a princess.

You liked her a lot, took her to pick flowers, showed her the drawings you had prepared for the empty fridge; in case Mr Y/L/N ever had a change of heart and hung them up, you had been trying for three years and weren't giving up any sooner.

Eva was nice, kind enough to share her M&M's and very used to compliments unlike you. She seemed to get a lot from her parents and yours. The adults were so kind to her, always smothering her with love and kisses. You were happy for Eva, happy that Eva somehow managed to gain the favor of your parents before you did.

Little girls tended to be jealous, you weren’t. You were just glad to have a friend so cool, she didn't blush and stutter under praise and apparently her drawings were pretty enough to go on a fridge.

It was a Thursday afternoon when your mom smiled at you for the first time since your last exam grade. "Look, Eva drew us a picture, isn't it pretty?"

The crayola stash under your bed was no longer needed, they appeared clumsily dumped in the neighborhood trash the next day, most of them stomped under the pressure of your little sneakers. And the bundle of drawings you hid under your pillow, wishing on fairy godmother that one day they would be hung up too, were ripped; clearly a struggle given. You had paper cuts on your hands, and your Nanny thankfully applied ointment before Ms and Mr Y/L/N noticed, or rather, stopped to care.

Though you knew that even if you paraded herself with bloody fingers dripping to your elbows, they wouldn't care.

Nanny did, she was there. There when you were haunted with nightmares when the moon was particularly dark, cooing at you and letting you sleep next to her in that small bed of hers. There when you tripped and fell, small scratch resulting in a screaming tantrum. She was gentle, sweet, paid well.

You decided to go and pick flowers with Eva, and make a pretty flower crown for yourself, months after your drawing incident. Of course, you didn't have such silly dreams anymore. You didn’t wish to have your pictures hung, to have your mother wear the flower crowns you made and frankly you didn’t care for the sight of the sparkle in your parents eyes. Nanny’s was enough.

Eva agreed, dressed in a pink tutu Mrs Y/L/N gifted. You didn't comment, though deep down you gazed at the skirt in sparkling envy. Your mother never bothered to get you such pretty things. The two of you gathered saturated petals and nice ribbons while giggling amongst yourselves. Until, you accidentally caused Eva’s flowers to levitate.

Eva ran home, crying and calling you a witch. Mr and Mrs Y/L/N’s dirty looks made her feel shameful, and even dirtier when a letter addressed to her was dropped by a pretty owl you insisted on petting. It was from a school called Hogwarts, in the faraway land of London, and it seemed, not only you but Eva got the same letter the next day.

Though the Y/L/N’s and Burke’s were proud of Eva’s letter. They weren’t with yours.

— — — —

The ride to Hogwarts was interesting to say the least. You had so many questions unanswered, were you a fairy godmother too? Was that your destiny? Was that the reason you never got any attention, because you were destined to give instead of receive?

Eva was cheerful as always, making fast friends in newly bought uniforms and holding a pretty, long and thin wand, with designs flowing across the premise. Your wand was...functional. You were sad you couldn't choose, and that the wand chose the owner. It didn't make sense, what if you didn't want this wand? What if you wanted something charming like Eva’s? It should have been mutual.

It was while trying to find your way to the bathroom that you met the Weasley twins. Quite handsome, a year older and absolute fucktards. A word you learned from the two. Though you always found yourself laughing more at Fred’s jokes, you liked them both equally.

“Hey George! Look.” Fred had exclaimed, clinging onto his brothers shoulder and dragging him across. “Who's that girl?”

You introduced yourself, happy façade on, gentle words slipping out of your mouth like nectar. They had to like you, you told yourself. Just this once, more than Eva.

When sorted into Gryffindor, Eva, you and the twins became inseparable. Your group grew in second year, when Katie, Lee and Alicia Spinnet joined the bunch. You would make fun of the ghastly Potions Professor Snape, and imitate Dumbledore in the hallways to mess with the older students.

You loved your time at Hogwarts, and the adventures that came every year. Especially when Harry Potter joined.

“Hey Fred.”

Fred, who was fiddling with his bracelet you had bought him hummed in response, not bothering to look up.

You sighed, “Do you think the flowers can feel it when we pluck them?”

Fred turned at that, his bracelet was now tightly secure after his struggles. “I hope not.” he smiled, a faraway look on his face whenever he gazed at you. “You know, some people like pain.” he winked.

You merely looked at him confused, clearly way too young for...whatever that is.

He started laughing loudly, slapping his knee and causing you to scoff and slap him on the shoulder.

Third year was when it bloomed. The slight girly attention you gave Fred grew. Fred was...Fred. A handsome ginger, beater for their house's Quidditch team, always charming and charismatic that somehow oozed out of him whenever he did anything really. It was not unusual, every girl in school had a crush on him. That wasn't the case, Fred was one of your best friends, and you refused to entertain the idea of a possible...relationship.

Yet sometimes, you'd find yourself thinking about hugging and kissing Fred like you’d seen couples in your favorite movies did and you’d fall asleep with reddened cheeks and a boy with even redder hair in your mind.

But feelings couldn’t be controlled, nor easily hidden. Eva found out in your fourth year after hearing you mumble his name in your dreams. Fred Weasley was getting more handsome as years passed, and you found it hard to contain your feelings. You were crushing, hard.

Eva was...Eva about it. Happy, but nothing changed. She didn't tease like George did when he found out, nor did she act any differently towards Fred.

“Hey ____!” Fred had sat next to you, shaking the entire couch because he grew that tall during summer. “Got a new girl after me.” he looked at you, almost expectantly, as if you wouldn’t react the way you always reacted.

“That’s great Fred.” you smiled, gulping whatever lump that was forming in your throat and struggling to come out as vulgar words you wished to yell.

“Yeah,” Fred sighed, “It’s...great.”

Fred Weasley was a ladies man, and he wasn't afraid to show it. It was okay, because you were happy enough to be one of his closest, and that was enough. He often boasted about getting girls, and how successful his jokes were, and you always loved snapping back to him cockily, even more cockily than him. Playful banter was easy, comforting between them and when he turned away you would love to shyly entertain the idea of being one of those girl’s Fred talked about.

Fifth year, you had a sudden growth spurt. That was also the year where you discovered Cosmopolitan, Vogue and of course Witch Weekly. Hair no longer in a ponytail, legs shaved and smooth, short skirts with no nylons, you were a new person. After getting your period in third year, your spurt came late, but sudden. Way too sudden in the time of three months. It was hard to handle the changes occurring to your body. It was all too much that you had to become a lady and the fact that you didn’t have your mother to help was a pain you hid deep within.

It was as if whichever god above decided to squeeze your entire life into a summer and call it a day, because it was simply too busy. How ironic. No one saw your growth except old Nanny Gladys. Not Eva, nor her parents considering they went on a getaway and the Burke's, who had gone to Brazil.

But you were over that, you discovered the great telephone, and the great Hermione Granger, package deal with Ginny Weasley. You guys would talk on the phone for hours upon hours, Ginny obscuring your personality and Hermione altering your view on your parents. And Hermione was right, they were assholes. You didn't give a flying fuck about empty praises anymore.

You had become almost too tall for your older clothes, and your breasts were way too big to fit in the training bra you bought not even a month ago. Your hips, now wide and swaying as you walk became graceful, were decorated with long gem bracelets.

You cursed like a sailor that summer, ran around fields with family - your family being your dog, Jambo - bare feet. You stomped on flowers you used to pick as a little girl, stomping on those silly fairytale dreams you used to nurse, and never felt freer. For the first time ever you felt that maybe being empty could be more freeing than having false hope weighing you down.

Returning to Hogwarts was a big deal to students. Who changed, who glowed up after what happened last year - nothing, it was all childish drama.

Before your parents could even see your new self, your escapade to the Granger household was successful. The Y/L/N's didn't care, nor did they write. You knew it should’ve hurt, but frankly, you didn’t think having the pain in your chest was worth it. Hermione was awestruck, of course, after laying her sights on you for the first time since May and insisted on walking into the Entrance Hall, arm in arm with her and Ginny to show you off like some sort of revelation.

It was a revelation all right, at least to the boys, and some girls. It seemed no one saw you as a girl before. George oogled, and Lee was so shocked to find out that you were actually a girl with a pretty figure and an even prettier smile that he stopped clapping you on the back like he always did. Not a girl, you have become a woman. It was far too sudden, new uniforms and a whole new wardrobe had to be bought.

"____? You were a girl?" Fred joked, ruffling your hair like nothing changed between you. And that's when you realized, no slutty skirt, how much pushup your bra, or no matter how pretty your hair looked, Fred would always see you as ____, the girl with crooked front teeth and who once ate a worm in second year. Your teeth weren't crooked at all anymore - thanks to a few years of braces - and finally clear of uncomfortable metals but you felt as if Fred would always see the ghost of them on your pearly whites when you smiled.

He had this view of you that blinded him, caused him to treat you as he treated Ginny while he flirted and played footsie with other girls, including Eva.

That did not stop Eva from giving you false hope, and you took the bait, naive like always. Hope, that's what ruined it all. "You're beautiful now, of course you have a chance!" she said, rubbing your shoulder reassuringly, as if she had warmth to begin with.

It was all false, yet you still believed. You always had. Like a fool.

Ginny didn't like Eva, and maybe that's why you gravitated towards her. She was the first person who had ever met Eva that wasn't charmed by her kind smile and attractive words. Eva was...displeased. She grew up having the attention of everyone around, so when Ginny Weasley told her straight to her face that she wasn't shit, Eva seethed. The attention of Ginny changed nothing though, because Eva was the main character. Everyone - except Ginny, and secretly Hermione (though she would never say it) - loved her, they followed her around like puppies and praised her on her wonky wand work.

The upcoming Yule Ball brought great upswing to Hogwarts.

You were far too busy with her classes to take interest in the tournament - even though the dragon race was the gnarliest sight you had ever seen. Your goal was set, become a badass Auror and move out as soon as possible, so you didn't have to face your parents (except Holidays, yuck.)

But the Yule Ball was your chance. A chance with Fred Weasley.

You could ask to go as friends and maybe, just maybe a little hope and the night would end much more romantic than you had anticipated.

Plucking up courage was the hardest part, you practiced with your bathroom mirror so long that Ginny had to blast through the door and drag you out of her dormitory.

Fred Weasley agreed, why wouldn't he? You, his closest friend, asking to go as a group and drink all night while gossiping? It was a win win. At least that's what you told herself.

That was a lie, it wasn't a win win.

You gave it your all getting ready, dress silk, makeup and expensive shoes. You took a long shower, scrubbing and shaving yourself to a smooth gliding porcelain, only for it all to be washed down with reddened eyes and a boy with even redder hair.

Fred greeted you the same, danced the same, and you chatted the same; you were reminded again, for the second time, that you stood no chance.

Fred told you that he was going to get drinks, a quick trip to the booth and mumbled I'll be back in a second. He was not back in a second. Several minutes passed, and your worries caused your feet to follow after Fred's footsteps.

You ran, trying to find him in the empty corridors of Hogwarts, tears welling in your eyes because he wouldn't. He wasn't that cruel, life wasn't that cruel.

But it was, and in a distant empty classroom you saw Fred Weasley, on his knees and between Eva's legs, groaning and praising her like a starved man. Worshipping her like everyone else had, burying himself in her and completely forgetting the drink he’d bring back in just a second. He’d left you thirsty and alone in the Great Hall and left you to drink from a cup he hadn’t known to be forbidden. Yet Eva did.

Eva's perfect dainty hands tangled in his ginger hair, thighs clamping shut while her high pitched moans flooded your mind and echoed around your head. They were so loud that she couldn’t even hear the loud echoes of your footsteps and the woeful cries that left your lips as you ran. It wouldn’t be the first time she had ignored your pain for her own selfish reasons.

Your heart shattered, and suddenly you were six again, watching your parents praise Eva, hang her drawing on the fridge. A soft breeze tickling your bare toes, dangling from the small cushioned seat you sat on while you watched Eva braid Mrs Y/L/N’s hair. Emotionless, silent, not asking for anything, knowing that you won't receive in return. Eva's small hands carefully placed the flower crown on Mrs Y/L/N’s pool of hair, and she smiled, heart warming and hopeful. Suddenly you remembered the feel of your own hands tangling in between your locks as you stood on your tiptoes, trying to imitate your mothers braid on yourself in the mirror you couldn't reach. You pretended, only for a moment before it twisted into knots.

What a cruel joke, you thought as you watched Eva receive the world from Fred, from your parents, from your friends and from every damn person you had met.

You cried on a big set of stairs that night, your wails echoing as you asked whoever, whatever what you had done. What you had done to deserve such treatment from the people around you. It was rather cliche - and maybe a bit too dramatic. It was an uncomfortable seat of course, and your body, as well as your heart, ached. Pain, misery, false hope and enough hair spray to melt the ozone.

The princesses always cried on big sets of stairs, uncomfortable stone floors causing them to shiver while they hid away their beautifully animated faces in their perfect hands. This was different, there was no fairy godmother to fix your makeup and clone a gentlemanly Fred Weasley, a perfect prince. You knew, because you cried, and prayed and cried and prayed until your throat was sore. There was no fairy godmother, it was all a lie. There was no happy ending. There would be none.

No one came to find you that night either, and you had to drag yourself back to the Gryffindor common room, feet bare, mascara, blush - anything else you put on in hopes of being able to become like Eva even only for one night - practically nonexistent from the way your tears washed them away.

You didn't sleep that night, and your head was unusually clear, pounding, but clear. You laid awake, eyes blood-shot and stinging while your dress shuffled uncomfortably between your sheets. You were too tired to change, and your dress was far too pretty to be worn so short.

Ginny's words replayed over and over again. "They're not worth it." her voice was so clear, and true. Mr and Mrs Burke weren't worth it. Your parents weren't worth it. Fred Weasley wasn't worth it. Eva wasn't worth it. The midnight chirping of bugs invited themselves in from your open window, and blue moonlight streaks beaming down in lines from the tulle curtain flowed with breeze, it was calming.

You felt calm, for the first time in sixteen years. You felt calm.

Fred and Eva started dating that week. Everyone acted like they expected it, and you realized just how blind you had been. Eva Burke and Fred Weasley, golden couple of Hogwarts.

You watched them, emotionless, as they embraced with love and so much passion that you felt embarrassed. Embarrassed at how you’d blushed and squeal over Fred in front of Eva and George and anyone who had found out because now you knew. Now you knew that their amused smiles were probably pitying grimaces because they knew that you two were never meant to be. It was always Fred and Eva.

Fred was an amazing boyfriend, making sure Eva was taken care of, lovingly staring at her whenever and wherever, arm looped around her waist at all times; you realized they were truly not worth it.

"You disgust me."

You didn't mean the words to escape so carelessly, but when you said them, you realized you didn't want to take them back. The growing pit in your stomach felt weightless. "Excuse me?" said Fred, stopping his nibbling on Eva's neck, who was just as shocked. You scoffed, Eva already had enough purple bruises to parade around so why did Fred have the need to add more?

"You heard me right," George, Lee, Ron, Harry, Katie and whoever sitting in their circle stared at you, wide-eyed, Ginny and Hermione, however, were grinning devilishly. Kind ____, wouldn't hurt a fly, quiet at times and didn't know how to stand up for herself. It was shocking, but you were done pretending. You didn't want to be like that anymore, you wanted to say whatever came to mind and not worry about the consequences. "You guys disgust me, I know I should be supportive but you don't match, at all."

You turned to George. "And you, no you can't talk about Katie like that." George went pink. "You're disgusting for sleeping around carelessly and telling girls you'd write, stop giving people false hope. Grow up. You’re nearly an adult and you can’t even treat a girl right."

"And you Lee," Lee went quiet. "What gives you the right to make fun of me like that. I'll wear whatever the fuck I want, just because you don't have the courage to wear a headband. If you can talk about my breasts, I'll talk about your shrimp."

"Ron, you take advantage of Hermione then lead her on. Open your eyes, asshole."

"Harry, you're not the main character. You're not always going to be the center of attention, nor do you have the right to yell at your friends."

"Alicia, god you're so stupid. I'm sorry, you're great but such an airhead. No, you can't ride a Thestral if you can't see them, and stop eating quill ink they're bad for you."

You stood up, grinning proudly, heart loud in your chest you feared someone might hear. "Frankly, I don't wanna be friends anymore. I'm done with this façade, except you two, 'Gin, Hermione. The rest of you are just so fake." she gestured to them. "Boys," she nodded again. "Don't talk to me anymore, and Lee, give me back the money, think it's about time don't you think? I've been paying for you since third year."

And with that, you left. You left Three Broomsticks, grin wide and chest heaving. Hermione and Ginny ran behind, whooping and cheering you on as they laughed.

The news of your outburst spread fast like wildfire caught in wind. That week was bliss, you no longer had to watch Fred and Eva, nor did you have to act sweet to anyone. You didn't have to laugh along Lee's sexist jokes and look away to wince, it was pure bliss. You realized that the feeling of being free didn’t have to be momentary.

Pansy Parkinson was surprisingly a good friend, she didn't have the same fakeness to her, the one Eva had where her smile was too kind. She spoke her mind, though every Slytherin did, and you liked that. Ginny wasn't happy with your new found friends, but she couldn't separate you. You made your own decisions from now on. It was refreshing.

You told your new friends everything, eager to get it off your chest and breathe, and they listened. For the first time, someone listened. You didn't have to get good grades, nor did you have to act like a sweet angel.

You teared up the first time Pansy said; "It's not your fault,". You knew it wasn't your fault, but hearing someone else say it with such genuine eyes made you believe. Actually believe.

It started off with you watching from the sidelines as Draco and Blaise pranked, insulted and shamed whatever your old friend group did. It wasn't unusual for Draco to act this way, but he got especially irritated after hearing what you told them. Blaise, someone usually quiet, had stepped up and decided to somehow release the pent up anger he had for the Gryffindor students.

The year ended, and you had started to sneak in an insult or two towards Fred and Eva. It felt nice, like finally, step by step you were clearing your years of hidden jealousy. But, there was no one to tell you that this simply wasn't the right way.

That summer, you stayed at the Burrow. Ginny had invited you and you were quick to say yes; obviously a fact forgotten. Fred, George and whoever you had insulted last year stayed in the same house. You simply didn't want to go home, and if this meant seeing Fred Weasley then you had to endure it.

Molly Weasley was the sweetest person you could ever meet, and it was genuine. It felt genuine, you feared your teeth might rot if the woman got another word in. Molly greeted you as if you were her own daughter she hadn't seen in years. You felt valued, seen.

Until Eva was there, Fred invited her. You had to watch the only person you were able to love, introduce the only person he was able to love to his mother. It wasn't you. It would never be you.

And you realized, even after everything, Eva had once again found a way to be more loved than you.

The grin Molly broke out was nothing short of beautiful, and you couldn't help but smile as well. The smile wasn't directed towards you of course, and you sat on that small kitchen chair, celebrating a relationship that caused your ruin.

Eva didn't care that your friendship was over, nothing budged in her life. She still got the same attention, still received the same love from Fred. The same affection, the same attention and the same everything. Or so it seemed.

Though unlike Eva, Fred merely watched you with sad eyes.

You stayed clear of the couple and the rest. You hung out with Ginny and Hermione only, ignoring the dirty looks Ron and Harry gave you. The secret, whispered insults Eva threw your way. George didn't say anything, but he didn't object either. This was enough to show how he felt. At this point you really didn't care. Why would you, when they didn’t either?

You held your head high just like Ginny and Hermione told you to, and you spoke in a loud and clear tone whenever asked something. Eva didn't, she stuttered when you spoke to her directly. Her words scrambled against each other when she tried to voice her insults in louder statements than a whisper. For the first time, you felt relief. You felt intimidating, protected by the barriers you had built around yourself.

Longest day of summer hit, and it boiled. Tanning became a distant dream, you would bake in this weather, and you were thankful to the big AC box you had brought from home. You couldn't sleep that night, sweat beads falling down your forehead that was already covered in a thin sheen. You had decided to get a cold glass of water, not sure how you ended up face to face with Fred Weasley. His wand tip shone with blue light, and his freckles were much darker because of the sun. It seemed the sun decided to be cruel to Fred Weasley back and wash Fred over with it's deathly heat. He was sunburnt, this was an understatement. He was burnt.

You couldn't help but start laughing when you met, ignoring the proximity, ignoring the sleeping house, dead silent and a big leap from the lively Burrow, ignoring Fred's soft breaths he let out every other second. You couldn't live off on false hope anymore.

Suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore, and your face quickly fell. You took a big step back and inhaled, ready to ignore him like you had been doing for the past year. But Fred Weasley was a persistent man, and he gripped your arm and looked at you with determined, doe-like eyes. "Tell me what I did wrong." he said, adamant on fixing this, whatever this was. You both didn't know.

You stood silent.

"Please flower,"

"Don't call me that." you said, stern and gaze sharp. Fred didn't react, he kept on insisting.

"Please, tell me how to fix this. I can fix it," he pleaded, a plethora of empty promises fell out of his lips like nothing. He lied like it was nothing, he was oblivious to everything he and everyone around them had put you through. It was infuriating.

You didn't say anything. You knew he would not fix anything but maybe staying silent would give him the false hope that spinned mockingly in your head for the past eighteen years.

"I'm sorry, just please. I can fix this, I promise, don't be like that." empty tears fell down from his eyes. He looked empty, tired. They lacked the charm they usually shined with and you wondered if it was only you that caused such dullness. Eye bags prominent that you never noticed before. It all felt like a lie, a cruel joke.

Fred Weasley was simply a cruel joke. His presence could only be compared to a shot of whiskey, especially when you down it like how Hagrid nurses a Firewhiskey filled pint glass. You never know how it will hit you. But in the end, you'd always find yourself curled next to the toilet, crying your eyes out because your headache was simply too much.

He was sobbing now, hanging onto your waist like you would simply vanish and you let him. The grip he had on was like steel vice - almost concerning - but you didn't touch him, didn't say anything. You just let him be, like he did to you. Allowed him to hopelessly hang off you before you would eventually leave him alone, like he did to you. "Where did I go wrong? How could we end up like this? What went wrong?"

‘You’, but your voice couldn’t be found.

Questions were useless when the answer was already right in front of his eyes. You didn’t let a single tear fall, you wouldn't forgive yourself if you cried in front of him.

You blinked, and that night was over. Summer continued on like nothing happened, like it didn't leave you heart broken and in such shame yet again. You continued on ignoring Fred as he looked at you with sorrowful eyes. Looked at you more, with more than he did his own girlfriend.

You blinked and the school year started again with another terror looming around the corner. There was simply no need to keep up anymore, because school was easy. You attended classes, got good grades, a few scar here and there from Umbridge's torture chamber, a woman who stood at a whopping five foot three yet still teriffied an entire school.

You blinked and you had already become a proud member of Draco's insult the Gryffindor's club. You didn't even feel bad, being horrible to the people you hated for years felt like a breath of fresh air. You didn't go as far as physically hurting any of your old friends, but coming up with damaging insults was such fun. A lot more fun than sitting around with a fake smile.

You blinked, and you were already moving out from your childhood house. Mr and Mrs Y/L/N were unusually happy, this was a given. They would have a new empty room and make another office, like they didn't have enough already. You feared they would start getting rid of bathrooms once too into their work, and they would have to do their business in bushes or buckets. Scratch that, you didn't fear that, it would be fucking hilarious.

You blinked, and when had time passed too quickly? Where did all those empty childhood years had gone? You were already graduating, on your way to become an Auror. You had lost contact with all your old friends now, regretfully Ginny and Hermione too.

The war had hit too quickly, luckily you survived, so did your friends. Unluckily, it left you with a nasty scar right across your left brow. It looked sick, but the hit wasn't worth it. It hurt like a bitch. You could see, it was a close call but vision wasn't an issue. The trauma though, god did Bellatrix's breath smell bad.

When it was all over, you had seen Fred hugging his family tightly. It seemed the Weasley's all survived, and you gave them each tight lipped smiles while holding a bunched up rag to your head to stop the blood gushing out. This wasn't the reunion you wanted to have with Ginny, but hey, you take what you can get after a revolutionary Wizarding war you barely made out alive.

Before a franticly running Fred could reach you though, you apparated to your flat in Diagon Alley, ignoring the thrumming of your heart, and how you practiced in front of a mirror to congratulate their successful joke shop that morning.

#angst #hp angst #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley #fred weasley x y/n #weasley twins #fred weasley angst #fred weasley smut #fred weasley series #reader insert #harry potter fluff #harry potter fic #fred weasley imagine

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

Could you do some hcs for dating the teen titans?

Yes I can!! I just got HBO Max so I’ve been binging both the animated and the live action series haha 😂 Thank you so much for being my first request!

Also I’m guessing you’re referring to the original teen titans, so if you want the new teen titans just shoot me another request!

Dating the Teen Titans Would Include...

No Specified AU

TW: Language

Genre: Fluff

[DC Masterlist]

Word Count: 2.0K (About 0.2K per Titan)

Dick Grayson

You must have an insane amount of patience, truly, to be able to date Dick Grayson

If the joke book he probably carries around isn’t enough, I would’ve been certain that the ego would drive you away but nope you’re still here

And that’s how you both knew that it was true fucking love you’re both inseparable and the Titans know it.

To put things simply... he loves you and the Titans fear you.

While you’re both somewhat easygoing and hospitable, one would do well not to piss off one or the other because you both come as a package deal and you can kick ass when necessary you just choose not to embarrass Dick like that because you could totally outmatch him.

Don’t ask him that though he’d insist that he’d win.

Best not bring up the first time you met or else the Titans would never let him live it down

But in all seriousness, I see the relationship as rather lighthearted and enjoyable, maybe a bit spontaneous too. Want to go to the beach? Done. Want to kick some ass in Gotham? For sure. It’s like a match made in heaven.

Not to mention that the Titans rather look up to you, which is a definite plus. Not just anyone can date the Dick Grayson.

Wally West

As opposed to popular opinion... I’d think that this is a rather slow relationship. 

Speedsters are more than just familiar with how life just flashes by so I think Wally would like to enjoy the relationship at a slower pace, he wants it to last as long as possible.

With that said, you’re both menaces. His speed combined with your cleverness? No one is safe and the Titans know it.

The best moment of your relationship, although this is debatable, was when you and Wally successfully turned the Titan tower into an all-out prank minefield. Trash cans were covered with plastic, buckets of water places on doorways, even wardrobes were switched.

And all done in ten seconds, impressive. Nothing quite like starting a war in the Tower then grabbing burgers after, right?

Kind of cheesy but I can see you both having frequent movie nights that differ in genre according to month. You both probably rotate on who chooses the movie too.

Overall I think you both have a lot of fun together, if I were to compare the “vibes” to something, I would say a summer relationship (that obviously lasts longer than just a summer) where everything is just living life as it goes

Nah because like I said before you guys don’t want to rush things, and you’re always there to remind Wally to just slow down every now and then.

I should probably mention that this is a competitive relationship too, before I go, not everything’s a competition but everything’s a competition, you know? It’s a shame that the Titans often get caught in the cross fire though-

Donna Troy

Oh this one’s fun. Donna’s new to this whole “rest of the world” stuff but luckily she has a wonderful partner who’s willing to teach her everything.

A lot of the relationship consists of you explaining things, but it’s kind of endearing despite Donna’s headstrong attitude towards anything

But Donna is also the kind to be open to learning new things, and you’re open to trying new things. It works like clockwork, you’re both young and willing.

Now these “things” can range from baking cookies to extreme mountain climbing so be prepared for anything in this relationship.

Overall I think the Titans see you both as a really cute relationship, one that anyone could be slightly envious of and one that they’re glad that exists

But despite this loving relationship I think you’d both be absolute machines in a battle, I think one thing that is important to Donna is ultimately respect for each other’s abilities, having grown up on Themyscira and all, and maybe that one battle where you absolutely demolished the enemy was when she really caught interest.

Or not. It could’ve also been when you mistakenly ran into one of the glass walls in the tower and she developed a crush over you while you mumbled a series of curses.

This relationship is strongly built on loyalty, so I think you both would be describes as a pair of ride-or-dies who typically tend to lean towards the latter, especially when trying the more extreme things that Donna asked you about.

But overall I think it’s a really sweet relationship with few bumps, they’re still there but I mean that you’re both good at working through them.

Victor Stone

I feel like this relationship is very classical high school romance, you know?

Like walking to class together, holding each other’s books, stuff like that.

But on the other hand I feel like you’re both a very fun couple to be around, like you know how when you’re with some couples it feels like you’re third wheeling? Not these two. You feel like you’re part of the crew

You guys probably switch between fun couple and parent couple every now and then, I can see the Titans relying on both of you a lot for different things.

You and Victor are definitely the type to play games to determine who buys food, like things as simple as rock-paper-scissors to things as complicated as 8-Ball, and so far you’ve been winning at a ratio of 3:1.

Definitely a very trusting relationship, I feel like you both reach that comfortable stage faster than most, but it feels right, you know? I think you’d both understand that relationships go both ways.

There are probably times where you’re both in a teasing mode too, I think, but they’re mostly light hearted pranks, definitely not anything in the realm of what Wally would do

I kinda want to say that you’re a very active couple in that you both like to go to the gym together and idk take hikes together but at the same time I also want to say that you’re both inclined to stay home and play video games so I guess it’s like a 50/50

I can also see Victor being the type to do small acts of generosity as opposed to like buying gifts to show his appreciation for you, like I feel like he’s more inclined to help you with small tasks when he knows you need it, you know? Overall very cute, hehe

Raven (Rachel Roth)

Now this one’s interesting, you and Raven are certainly an interesting duo, but the most interesting thing would likely be how you met. Let’s say it involved a blood sacrifice, a bat, and a very old bicycle.

No you weren’t trying to summon her someone else was you just ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time anyway moving on

You’re both the perfect example of opposites attract for more reasons than just one. 

But what makes it better is that you’re always open and willing to learn and understand many of the things that Raven does and she appreciates it a lot

It goes both ways also! She’s always willing to do whatever you ask her to and you both end up having at least some fun even if it happens to be something she isn’t used to.

Random, but I think a favorite pass time for both of you is simply sitting in her room and reading books, weird, I know, but like there’s something inherently romantic about either of you excitedly showing the other a certain passage you both enjoyed or telling them about your book, it’s just so sweet.

She definitely has a personal bias towards you, obviously, Garfield can say a joke and she’d stare at him with a straight face but you could say the exact same joke probably right after him and she would crack a smile and she probably does that on purpose but it still feels nice

You also may or may not have caught on to her incantations and now you may or may not be able to perform these spells but you haven’t tried because you wouldn’t know how to but it’s just telling of how much time you spent together.

I only mention this because there was an event in which you corrected her incantation and suddenly hell fire appeared which she had to figure out how to get rid of and since then you both mutually agreed to both (a) not tell the Titans and (b) not say incantations out loud

Koriand’r (Starfire)

STOP YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE anyway you’re definitely both kinds to see beauty in everything

Maybe this relationship is rather dangerous considering you’re both curious people and Kori happens to be able to shoot lasers out of her eyes so maybe you should both be just a little more careful

You’re both probably very doting on both each other and the rest of the Titans and although you’re both well intentioned it has become a case of “oh no there’s two of them” but in like a teasing way

I feel like Kori is very open to sharing a lot of aspects about her culture with you, and you have always found Tamaran culture to be beautiful so it fits

Likewise you share a lot of things about your culture too and you both bond over finding ways to combine them together to make a nice fusion of understandings and it’s all a sweet combination

See a big thing about this relationship if that you both put your everything into it, it is an equal push and equal pull kind of thing where you both love each other with everything that you have and it creates this unbreakable bond that even non-supers have come to acknowledge

Though this also results in the both of you frequently being in your own world even when others are around and that’s something you both promised to fix but yeah...

It’s coming around, don’t worry. You’re both making active efforts but sometimes it just slips your mind and whoops

Now this should go without saying but this trust often leads to powerful combinations when in missions, you’re both fiercely loyal to each other and this often plays in overall favor so all is well

Garfield Logan

This is a fun relationship, definitely, and one that’s also very fulfilling.

You’re both definitely an outdoorsy couple, things like hikes, nature walks (which I guess is also a hike but I’ve been told otherwise), trips to the zoo, etc. but this all just builds the relationship

Also a very sweet one! You both have an unlimited amount of energy and love that you’re often expending said energy volunteering somewhere and helping others out

But when it boils down you’re both also very touchy, I think, you both like being together at all times and cuddles are a frequent occurrence but at the will of the other Titans you both do this in privacy

I also feel like this sweetness can also “flip,” so to say. As in if someone messes with either of you in the relationship the other will come running regardless of whether or not they could do anything about it.

To put it short, you both have each other’s back all the time. Literally, like I said you’re both inseparable. 

Despite these I think the relationship would actually be rather lowkey, I don’t think he would be the type to constantly showcase the relationship. I think he’d mention it like once to get it out there but after that he wouldn’t flaunt you around.

I just think that Garfield, even with his usual out and about behavior, is rather modest when it comes to this topic because you’re more to him than just someone to show off, you’re someone who’s important to him and overall he just wants you to be comfortable

If there’s one flaw in this relationship it’s that when you have arguments it’s just horrible, but also rather comedic. Neither of you talk to the other but you both end up still being in the same room together subconsciously. It’s kind of awkward but the coincidences are what makes the other Titans laugh and honestly you both make up within, like, a day or something.

#dc #dc x reader #dc headcanons #teen titans #teen titans x reader #teen titans headcanons #dc scenarios #teen titans scenarios #my writings #requests

[seokjinsdisciple]

Enemy - two

johnny x reader (this is mostly smut with some fluff thrown in because im soft for this man)

THIS IS BASED ON ENEMY AND WHILE YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT TO UNDERSTAND YOU PROBABLY SHOULD

it’s been three months since you got fucked by johnny in the elevator of your apartment building. and much to your own fault, you can’t stop thinking about him

UNEDITED

word count: 4k (this is literally so long for no reason)

warnings: language, fingering, degradation, choking, hair-pulling, overuse of the word kitten and sir and probably baby too, mentions of sex toys, vibrators, mutual masturbation for like a second, size kink if you squint, mentions of punishments, idk what to say... theres probably more because im a whore for johnny

You hadn’t spoken to Johnny since the incident. In fact, you’ve tried to avoid any encounters with him at all. You try to plan your day around whether he has already left or not, and while that's proven rather difficult with your classes, it's been working out ok. You had been avoiding him for a solid 3 months, only seeing him occasionally and practically sprinting away when you spotted him.

Granted, you have had a tough couple of months, sexual frustration forcing your thoughts into the depths of hell more often than not. You 100% blamed Johnny for this, unable to get his face from your mind and name from your lips as you came. And that’s when you were actually able to get yourself to finish. Johnny had ruined you, he had ruined orgasms for you forever. Your one night stands didn’t stand a chance, and not even your favorite black vibrator could get you there half of the time. 

Fuck Johnny and his stupidly gorgeous face, and mind consuming body. The past few months had been going like this. You had memorized exactly when Johnny would be in class, out with friends or doing god knows what. Allowing yourself those moments to take out your sexual frustrations. 

You had been sitting on your couch all day, counting down the minutes until the tell tale sound of Johnny’s front door closing. When you finally heard it, you sprang into action, sprinting to your room and throwing open the drawer of your nightstand. You groaned as you tore your pants off as quickly as you could, already dripping from the thoughts of Johnny that had been swirling around your head all day long. 

You let out a too loud whimper when you finally pressed your fingers to your clit. Taking no time at all to start relieving some of the pressure that had been making you ache all day long. You were certain that if anyone on your floor was home, they would be able to hear your broken moans and whimpers. The sheer desperation outweighing your rational thoughts to quiet the hell down. 

In fact, your thoughts had completely left as you pressed your vibrator against yourself, biting into the pillow nearest to you as you writhed around on your bed. You were moaning broken fragments of Johnny’s name now, so desperate to cum yet so far from reaching your high that all reason had left your brain. 

You sat up quickly at the sound of the knocking. The panic of being caught by one of your neighbors causing you to almost fall as you tugged on your sweats and rushed to the door. 

You pulled upon your front door without much thought, apologies preparing to spill out of your lips until you met the dark eyes of Johnny. His hair had grown in the months you’d barely seen him. Your eyes flitted from his shoulder length blonde hair down to his rosy cheeks and bitten lips. 

“You’re so fucking loud,” he growled, walking into your apartment and closing the door in front of your frozen figure, “Are you always moaning my name this loud when I’m in class, kitten?”

“Johnny I can-,” you started, breath hitching in your chest as he gripped your jaw firmly. 

“I think that was a yes or no question,” Johnny spoke, “Do you always touch yourself when I’m gone?”

You were trembling at his dominant gaze, the stickiness between your thighs practically doubling at both his appearance and his words. You nodded, heat filling your entire body at the sheer embarrassment of him knowing how fucked you had been ever since that day on the elevator. 

“Words,” he growled, “Don’t make me punish you.”

“Yes, sir,” you whimpered, heat thrumming through your body as his thumb rubbed your jaw, raising an eyebrow at the new nickname. 

“Good girl,” he praised, cupping your cheek as he pressed a frantic kiss to your lips. Taking no time at all to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip. You opened up for him easily, groaning as his tongue explored your mouth, hands finding purchase on his chest. His lips trailed down to your neck, biting and sucking on the most sensitive parts of your neck. 

“Johnny please,” You begged, your hands finding their way into his hair. Your fingers tangling and tugging at the long blonde locks, smiling in satisfaction at his groan.

“Oh no baby,” Johnny said, grinning up at you and wiggling his eyebrows, “There’s no way in hell you call me Johnny after I hear the word sir leave that sinful little mouth of yours.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him, smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”

“Are you familiar with the color system?” He asked, placing a gentle bite on your earlobe. 

“Red for hard stop, yellow for pause and green for all good?” You asked, half moaning as Johnny’s hands slipped up your shirt. 

“Yeah that's the one,” Johnny muttered, “Color?”

“Green,” you whined as he pinched your nipple between his fingers, rolling gently.

“Good, because your brattiness is starting to piss me off, kitten,” he said, bringing his other hand around your neck and putting delicious pressure on your pulse. “Now I’m curious baby, just how long have you been getting off when I’m not supposed to be home? How many times have you come with my name on your lips?”

“Since-,” you started, “Since that day in the elevator.”

Johnny just tutted at you, forcing you to meet his gaze, “And you’ve been hiding what’s mine from me all this time?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s yours,” you smirked, chuckling at the light smack he gave your ass. 

“If it wasn’t mine, kitten,” he snarled, “then you wouldn’t come thinking of me. And by your pretty little moans earlier, we all know that’s not the case.”

At that Johnny threw your form over his shoulder, giving another playful hit to your ass before leading you to your bedroom. He set you gently on the bed, caging your body with his arms and pressing a swift kiss to your lips. You were about to question why he’d torn his lips from you, but you were stopped by his mischievous grin and the emergence of your still vibrating black vibrator. 

“Oh my god, Johnny,” you hit him in the shoulder, “turn it off!”

“Is this the Johnny you kept moaning so loudly about? He so rudely interrupted my afternoon nap you know.”

“You are insufferable!” you whined, trying to cover your embarrassed face with your hands. 

“Use it.”

“What?” you asked, peeking out from behind your hands. 

“I want to see you use it,” Johnny said simply, “You’ve been using this to cum all on your own. I wanna see how lil Johnny has been treating you.”

“Johnny you can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m very serious,” he said, pulling your pants down for you, whistling lowly at the sight of your arousal smeared across your thighs, “It is a shame you misbehaved so much and need to be punished, kitten. I love the way you look with my fingers inside of you. Too bad.”

“Johnny, please,” you groaned, imagining just how incredible his fingers would feel right about now. 

“I thought I told you to call me sir, hm?” He asked, slapping the inside of your thigh before handing you the vibrator, “Now get to work.”

You let out a little whine as Johnny settled himself across the bed, staring intently at you. You took a deep breath, turning on your vibrator again, sucking your bottom lip into your teeth as you pressed it to your clit. Your eyes met with Johnny’s, his pupils dilated and lust-filled as he took in your already wrecked appearance. 

Your hips jolted, the power from the vibrator enough to have a familiar string of moans leaving your lips. You whined at the sight of Johnny palming himself over his sweats, reaching out with your free hand to try and touch him in some way. 

“Awe poor baby needs help?” Johnny pouted at you, “But I thought you could get off by yourself?”

You just groaned at this, endless afternoons of you coming so close to the edge but never making it flashing in your mind as you tried, and failed to prove him wrong. Your eyes never left his, and you were getting sick of the mischief that was in his. He was clearly taking too much pleasure from teasing you. Well two can play at that game. 

“Don’t you want to play with me, sir?” You asked, moaning as you slid a finger into yourself, never breaking eye contact with Johnny. You let out an exaggerated whine, spreading your legs further apart before pouting, “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.”

Johnny smirked at you, an all knowing look in his eye as he sat up. He pressed a featherlight kiss to your cheek, and then your neck before tugging your shirt off of your body. 

“You’re lucky I’m so nice, kitten,” He grinned at you, turning the vibrator off  and throwing it from the bed before grazing his teeth over your nipples, “And so impatient.”

He may have called himself impatient, but his touches were light and teasing. Barely there, and by the time you had realized where his fingers were they had moved somewhere else. It was torture. 

“Please, sir,” you begged, groaning as his fingertips grazed your clit for a second. 

“What’s the matter, kitten?” He asked, feigning confusion, “I thought you wanted me to play with you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” you argued back, voice getting quieter at the dangerous look Johnny sent you. 

“You aren’t being very nice for someone who is trying to get what they want,” Johnny warned, nipping down the length of your body before placing a bit on the inside of your thigh. He let out a pleased sigh as his eyes met with your dripping sex, placing gentle kisses all around it, but never in the place you wanted it. “And you never answered my question, kitten. How many times have you cum with my name on your lips, hm?”

“I--,” you started, sucking in a breath as he pressed a gentle kiss to your core, “I haven’t been able to since that day. I’ve only cum a handful of times.”

Johnny pulled away from your core, a surprised look crossing his face before he gave you a gentle smile. “Fuck. No wonder why you’re so worked up kitten, god. It’s been almost 3 months and you haven’t cum properly?”

You nodded at him, hands intertwining with his as he worked his mouth back up your body. 

“My poor baby, so needy. A pretty little slut like you can’t go that long without cumming,” Johnny said pressing his lips anywhere they could reach, “Let me take care of that for you. Come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you."

You ignored his laugh as you desperately shot up, practically throwing him down on the bed. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t spent more hours than not thinking about the way his tongue had felt pressed against your heat.

You could’ve cried when you finally straddled his head. His large hands pulling you down to settle on his mouth. Surprisingly he got to work right away, licking furiously at your desperate clit, fingers spreading and kneading your ass as you melted for him. You couldn’t help but fall forward as his ministrations continued, hands landing on either side of his torso as your eyes were met with the outline of his cock. 

You whimpered at a particularly powerful lick, hands immediately reaching to untie his sweatpants. You tried to wiggle them off, Johnny lifting his hips to help you. You drooled when you finally saw his cock standing proud and red, aching for some sort of friction. Clearly Johnny had a lot more self-control than you. 

You wasted no time pulling his dick in your mouth, moaning around his length as he kept passionately eating you out. He was acting like he was a man starved, messily licking into you and making the most lewd noises. Not that you were any better, suckling loudly around his length. 

“Such a desperate slut,” Johnny moaned, pulling away from you for a second, “I try giving you a reward and you don’t last a minute before trying to fill one of your holes with my cock.”

You moaned around him, his words causing your pussy to shudder as he slipped a long digit into your folds. His finger, partnered with his tongue was too much. It felt too good. With the weight of Johnny’s cock on your tongue, his finger hitting your sensitive spots and his mouth ravishing your clit, you were fast approaching your high. 

You let him slip out of your mouth, an unashamed moan leaving your lips as you started grinding your hips desperately against his hot tongue. 

“Please, sir,” you moaned, “Please please please let me cum, I’m so close. I’ll do anything. I’ll be good, please just let me cum.”

He sucked your clit harsley before muttering, “Cum.”

You came almost immediately, sheer pleasure rocking through your body as you spasmed in Johnny’s hold. Legs shaking as you gripped onto the bed sheets for any sort of hold. 

You could feel Johnny’s hands rubbing soothing circles across your skin, gently flipping you over so you were laying on the bed. He kissed you gently as you came down from your high, thumb rubbing your hip bone gently until your breathing regulated. 

When your eyes fluttered open you were met with a grinning Johnny, pressing a soft kiss to your nose and cupping your face with both of his hands. 

“Hi,” you giggled, smiling back at him.

“Hi,” he smiled back, “Better?”

You nodded at him, bringing him back down into a kiss, a much needier kiss. When you pulled away, you pouted. 

“What now?” Johnny joked, playfully rolling his eyes at you. 

“You are wearing too many clothes.”

He let out a full laugh then, pecking your lips once more before sitting up and throwing his shirt off. You let your hand run up his abdomen, fingers grazing the well-defined sections of his abs, before reaching his cock. You wrapped your hand tightly around his member, opening your mouth easily to him as he crashed his lips against yours. 

“Color?” he asked, breathing heavily as you continued to pump his length in your hands. 

“Green,” you said, “Fuck, so green. Johnny please fuck me.”

And just like that Johnny snapped into his dom persona, his eyes darkening once again. He pushed your hand away from him, his other hand wrapping around your neck. 

“I thought I told you to call me sir.” He growled, slapping the inside of your thigh before sliding two fingers in your cunt. He started a relentless pace, teeth biting at your lips before kissing you. He squeezed your throat a little tighter, eyes flickering to yours to check for any discomfort. When he didn’t see any he latched his mouth onto you nipple, biting and sucking there as he began scissoring you open. Moans were tumbling out of your mouth, your already sensitive body thrumming with pleasure as he ravished you. 

When he deemed you ready enough he threw your legs over his shoulders, your body pressed together as he bottomed out with a groan. His hair was dangling down and brushing against your body, tickling you slightly as he moved. You were absolutely throbbing around him. The stretch of his cock causing your walls to flutter around him. 

“Fuck,” you muttered, feeling him so deep in your that you could’ve sworn you could see a bulge in your stomach. He pulled out slowly as he felt you relax around him, thrusting back harshly. 

He kept a brutal pace, your body inching up the bed at the power of his thrusts. The two of you were loud, Johnny’s grunts spurring on your moans. You could tell that he was just as worked up as you were, biting and sucking any space of skin he could connect his mouth to. 

“God, your little hole was made for my cock, huh kitten?” Johnny moaned, wrapping his hand around your neck once more, the moans flying out of your mouth praise enough for him to keep going. 

You were being fucked so hard you couldn’t see straight, the breath knocked out of you from both Johnny’s thrusts and his hold around your neck. The lack of oxygen to your brain was creating a delicious fog of pleasure. 

You protested as Johnny pulled out, going silent as he turned you over and harshly slapped your ass. You smiled dumbly as he slid his cock back into you, feeling so happy and full. You had been dreaming about his cock being in you again for months, and you couldn’t be happier that he was currently fucking you dumb with it. 

You couldn’t help but clench your pussy around his cock as he wrapped your hair in his hand and pulled. He groaned at the sensation, keeping your hair in one hand and grabbing your hip with the other.  He was frantic at this point, pulling your hip to meet his thrusts. 

You weren’t going to last. You weren’t going to last with your hair being pulled, and him hitting your spots so powerfully. He knew it too, the way you were clenching around him and cursing were dead giveaways. And he didn’t stop as his thrusts lost their rhythm, simply reaching his hand between your legs and circling your clit with his fingers. 

You took this as permission to cum, probably asking him for permission anyways. You had no idea what words were coming out of your mouth. You knew you were moaning, and shaking and so so close. It wasn’t until you heard the fuck fall from his lips and felt the warmth of his cum filling you that your snapped. Body shaking in pleasure as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. 

White noise filled your head as you clenched and unclenched around Johnny’s cock. Johnny was breathing just as heavily as you were, his body pressed firmly against your back. He took a few moments to collect himself, before gently pulling out of you and flopping to the side. He pulled you gently to his side, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ear as the two of you lay in silence. 

“We should shower,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. 

“I don’t wanna move,” you groaned, “I don’t think I can move after that.”

Your head wiggled as Johnny’s chest shook with laughter, a foreign feeling filling your stomach as you smiled back at him.  

“Well I will take full responsibility and carry you to the shower myself,” he said, sitting abruptly before pulling you completely in his arms, your legs automatically wrapping around his torso as he stood up. 

“Shower or bath?” he asked, setting you on the bathroom counter when he reached your bathroom. 

“Shower,” you decided quickly, pouting your lips for a kiss, which Johnny happily obliged, “Then we can eat dinner faster.”

“My thoughts exactly,  kitten,” he smiled at you, checking the temperature of the water before grabbing both of your hands and leading you under the spray. He got started washing your body, giving your muscles a light massage as he lathered the soap. 

He was taking care of you so well, cleaning every part of your body as gently as he could, pressing kisses anywhere he pleased. You couldn’t help but panic a little bit at the domesticity of it all. Just this morning you were calling him your sworn enemy, and now here you were, being cared for by him. Letting him lather your shampoo and wash your hair. It was almost painful the explosion of butterflies you felt, your heart beating out of your chest as you studied his face. His tongue was poking out slightly, focused on massaging your scalp. He was so damn handsome.

“Quit staring,” he laughed, “I know I'm irresistible but I don’t want you to get shampoo in your eyes.”

“Oh shut up,” you laughed, dumping some shampoo in your hand so that you could wash his hair too. 

He toweled you off when you were done, pecking your lips quickly before heading back to your bedroom and pulling on his sweats. You followed behind him, pulling on some comfy clean clothes and heading into the living room. You watched as the muscles in his back tensed while he was looking for any sort of food, and you laughed when he told you to buy more groceries. 

You had definitely misjudged him, a fact that was clearly evident as you talked over boxes of take out. It turns out one of his grandparents had passed away, which is why he didn’t do any work on his group project, and his mom was struggling financially right now so he moved into this cheap place to send her any leftover money he could. 

“I feel like a dick,” you whined, shoving another piece of chicken into your mouth.

“You didn’t know,” Johnny reminded you, gently rubbing your calf, “Although I like the title girlfriend a lot better than enemy.”

“I’m not saying yes until you take me on a date,” you kicked him gently in the stomach, grinning at his fake hurt expression. 

“We all know I won’t have to wait long,” he laughed, “I’m not the one who had any trouble getting off after the frist time.”

You sat up at this, tickling fingers ready, “You are so annoying, Johnny. Don’t get cocky!” 

You both settled down after calling a truce,a smile ong your lips and Johnny’s hand in yours as you watched some stupid movie. Being with Johnny felt right, it felt good. He was easy to talk to, and could make you laugh so hard ramen came out of your nose. That night, when you fell asleep on the couch and woke up on the bed, you knew exactly who had carried you there. A snoring Johnny beside you with his arm draped over your stomach. Yeah, you had definitely misjudged him. What better way to apologize than by waking him up with your mouth. 

So that's exactly what you did. He woke up pretty quickly, groaning as realized the wet warmth that surrounded his cock. 

“Mmm, good morning to you too,” he joked groggily, running one of his hands through your hair as you continued sucking. 

You watched as his breathing started to escalate, abs tensing as he let out beautiful moans. His eyes were hazy, clearly still sleepy, but they were trained on yours. He pulled you off of his length easily, dragging your face up for a slow but intense kiss. You lifted your butt as he pulled your shorts down, lips never parting. Quiet breathy moans filling your room as he pushed his length slowly into you. It was slow and lazy and perfect. His hands held onto your hips as you rode him. 

“You look beautiful,”he whispered, rubbing one of his hands up and down your waist. 

“You don’t look half-bad yourself,” you joked, hips stuttering at the pleasure. It didn’t take long for the two of you to finish, kissing lazily while you fucked and not stopping after the two of you had finished. 

“Hey Johnny,” you started, pulling away for just a moment, “I really really like you.”

“Hey Yn,” he repeated, kissing your nose, “I really really like you too.”

You watched as his eyes crinkled while he flashed you a smile, and yeah you had a feeling you were fucked.

#johnny smut #johnny x reader #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny scenarios #johnny fluff #johnny fanfic #johnny #nct smut #nct fluff #nct #nct 127 smut #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127

[imhereformr]

Oh I just didn't want to confuse you by sending asks from my main blog ^^

I would love to know about your tattoo plans and current tattoos

Oh honey, I figured out this and your Winx blog were the same person a while ago 😂

Start with current tattoos I guess?

Current tattoos

This was my 1st. I got it when I was 18. I've always loved Beauty and the Beast, and spent my entire life being compared to Belle (apparently liking books and being a brunette is all it takes).

This was #2. It came 2 months after the 1st. It says burdens are for shoulders strong enough to bear them. At the time I was fighting a long, hard depression and I read this in a book. It resonates even more with me now that I've dealt with having my body quite literally fail me.

Of course I got it my shoulder.

#3 came a whopping 8 years later (after 8 years of me saying I needed more tattoos). It spawned from a Facebook thing of getting a matching tattoo with your 3rd @ or something. It was my best friend and we decided to get monopoly houses because our friendship started over a mutual love of the game.

#4 was done in January. It's a witches hand. I came across the artist on tiktok and followed her on Instagram. She posted this to her flashes and I went I WANT IT.

At this point, I've given up this idea that tattoos have to be meaningful. Why shouldnt I decorate my body with meaningless things if I find them pretty and they make me happy?

#5 is the butterfly, done last Wednesday. Again, I came across the artist on Instagram (he was a funny French man with a twisty mustache), went this is prettyyyyyy 😍😍😍 and decided to waste $400 on it.

Futur tattoos

#6 is this little fox. He's booked for early July. I've always loved foxes (you know how you hyper fixate on an animal as a kid? Mine was foxes) so when another artist I follow on Instagram posted him, I decided I needed him.

This lantern is one my boyfriend took a picture of while we were in Ecuador back in 2019. I absolutely love it and know I want it as a tattoo. I just don't know if I want a more fine line/minimal version of it or to go full on glowing/witchy with it.

I want to get small flowers (I love florals) on a vine under my breasts. I know which artist (this one) and have a decent idea of what I want it to look like. I just have to actually get to contacting him (and maybe saving money cause I expect it to be a bit more expensive).

I almost got this done my a Korean artist that was guesting in Montreal back in April but she wanted fucking $200 an hour. Shame cause she has really beautiful work.

#not winx #personal #tattoos #long post

[hatercube]

sunnflower hot take >:)

okay, okay so. i know that sunnflower is a rly popular OMORI pairing, and don't get me wrong, i like it, too,,,, HOWEVER. here is a post-good ending headcanon that will smash all of ur sunnflower dreams into a million bits and pieces <3

[edit: just want to let anyone else who sees this post that it is 10000% okay to ship sunflower, and this whole post is purely a headcanon that’s been stewing in my brain since last month, and it is only my interpretation and my opinion !]

TW // suicide, anxiety, mental institutions, childhood trauma

Sunny and Basil *cannot* see each other

i have been up for 24 hours and don't know if anything i'm about to say will make sense, so bear with me. it's not uncommon for people who shared trauma to have intense reactions that manifest in their relationships with each other. some people become hyper-attached to each other after the traumatic event, while some people are the exact opposite, and if these people come into contact with each other, it can be extremely detrimental to their mental healths. the latter is how i see basil and sunny (especially basil).

throughout the game, a lot of their interactions come off as stiff and awkward not only because they haven't spoken in years, but also because basil is too emotionally dysregulated to keep up a conversation. he's stuttering, he's sweating--WE ALL SAW HIM. he is an anxious. wreck, and this anxiety directly stems from mari's death and sunny's presence. especially after kel breaks the news that sunny's moving away, we can see that any major changes sunny makes are going to heavily affect basil on a psychological level. this isn't just a problem with basil clinging to the last bit of familiarity in his life, but it would also affect sunny's personal growth if these patterns were to be perpetuated in any future relationship between the two, platonic or romantic. imagine trying to move on from the most traumatic experience of your life, and an old friend you haven't talked to in years, begs you to stay. it isn't healthy for either of them.

FURTHERMORE, in regards to the secret true ending with the special SunnFlower cutscene, i think that it's okay to say that these two are beginning the healing process and are working towards finding peace in their lives separately. this ending doesn't imply really anything other than a mutual understanding that everything they'd been holding onto for years had finally been released, and that they were now beginning their journey of recovery.

i don't think they talk for a long time after the good ending--i don't think they really want to. for sunny, basil is a painful reminder of not only the death of his sister, but also the incident that landed him in the hospital. you don't just automatically make amends with the person that gouged your eye out during a psychotic episode. i think that sunny understands and forgives, but i do not think he feels safe.

for basil, on the other hand, sunny is a reminder of the terrible thing he did to mari's body and also his abandonment issues he got from his absent parents. in my opinion, being the person who strung up your best friend's dead sister into a tree to make it look like a su*cide is worse than being the one who pushed her down the stairs. you can push someone on accident, but you definitely can't hang someone on accident. i imagine there's a lot of guilt in there mixed with a whole lot of other childhood trauma from his neglectful parents that is a cocktail for mental instability. (also would like to point out that basil having the idea to hang her up in the first place is an early sign of extreme mental illness,, that isn't normal and also hints at some kind of emotional codependency or unhealthy attachment he has to sunny.) the fact that basil was pushed so far that he had a psychotic episode which resulting in him stabbing his friend--which by the way was triggered by sunny's mere presence, not an immediate physical threat of any kind--is so telling of his mental state, and i honestly believe that best thing for him would be hospitalization. for a while. if he cannot be safe to himself and others, then he needs to begin his recovery in a rehabilitation center, and who knows when it would be safe for him to be discharged.

to put that last bit in perspective, i've been hospitalized before due to a pretty half ass attempt that i didn't follow through with because i was drunk out of my mind and that landed me five days. five days, and i didn't even do anything, like no physical harm came to me. also, during my time there, i was really adamant about how i was feeling better and said i had reduced SI which is also how i got out of there in that small amount of time. i have no idea how much time someone like basil would have to spend in an institution, but it would probably be more than a few weeks.

if seeing sunny was the final trigger that led up to basil's psychotic episode, then it is completely possible that seeing sunny would only bring up similar dysregulation problems in the future, even after he's well on his way to full recovery.

SO TL;DR

1. basil stakes his emotions too heavily on sunny,

2. for sunny, basil reminds him of his sister's death and incident that brought him to the hospital, leading him to feel unsafe around basil,

3. for basil, sunny reminds him of the guilt in shame of what he did to mari's body (which i think we can all universally agree is much worse than accidentally pushing her down the stairs),

4. sunny's presence pushed basil to a point where he was not safe to himself or others in an extreme manner that borders homicidal,

5. BASICALLY WHAT IM SAYING IS THAT THEY TRIGGER EACH OTHER AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE HANGING OUT FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME BC OF THE PTSD AND POSSIBLE PSYCHOSIS

so yeah. there it is. if you made it this far, im so sorry.

#omori #sunnflower #omori sunny #omori basil #omori sunflower #omori headcanons #omori spoilers #omori game #omori anaylsis

[chimmyrockbison]

MASTERLIST Updated 03/20/2021

COMPLETED AO3 FICS [Kim Taehyung/Park Jimin]

1. The Sound of Your Heart

Summary: There was something so easy about it, it was almost scary. Taehyung didn’t want to feel this way, didn’t want to feel this overwhelming fondness; but not unlike his head, his heart was hard to persuade once it had decided a path. And Taehyung was scared that it had decided on the mute new boy with pretty features and a warm smile.

Words: 144,014

2. All the King's Men

Summary: Castle servants Jimin and Taehyung find themselves involved in a game with the Crown Prince.

Words: 52,531

3. golden haze

Summary: Taehyung watches Jimin’s mouth twist into a pout, forming the word ‘fucking’ with his thick lips before he’s whipping out his translation device again. Taehyung doesn’t have time to stop him when various pornographic images pop up on his holographic screen, Jimin’s eyes widening with intrigue, his mouth falling open at the suggestive images in front of him.

(or: lonely college student taehyung harbors an alien fugitive in his apartment. nothing goes as planned.)

Words: 34,850

4. Drag'on Together (Love Is Its Own Magic)

Summary: “I swear to God, Taehyung if you stop to pick up one more rock because you think it might be some sort of rare stone, I’m leaving you here,” Jimin huffs as he tries to sound intimidating.

“Jiminnie, we both know you wouldn’t survive a minute without me, so stop with the empty threats, okay?” Taehyung replies, happily ignoring his dark-haired friend.

Jimin would argue, he would, if it wasn’t for the fact that Taehyung was right.

or

The time Taehyung and Jimin finds a blue rock and it turns out to be so much more.

Words: 30,554

5. even the weariest river

Summary: It's moments like this that make Taehyung panic. The open derision on each courtier's face, the scorn of his brother as he turns from his prey. The slit of Park Jimin's eyes, just barely open and dark and hateful, as Taehyung swallows and squares his shoulders and says—

"I want to claim him."

The tides of war change, and sweep Taehyung and Jimin along with them.

Words: 152,979

6. i fell in love with the pizza delivery guy (and then i blew him in the bathroom)

Summary: Send your best delivery guy. Preferably cute, preferably packing.

“You're the one who ordered me,” Taehyung says. Not exactly a question; more of a statement.

“Well, I ordered pizza; you just happen to be a delightful bonus,” Jimin clarifies, lips drawn up in a smirk that sets Taehuyung’s blood on fire in a most delectable way. “Although, had I known a pretty face like yours was working there...maybe I would have been more specific with my instructions. At least I know for next time.”

(or, Jimin orders pizza and a little something extra, and Taehyung delivers without really knowing what he's signing up for)

Words: 18,438

7. Grand Jeté

Summary: Refusing to spend another night alone, Taehyung surprises his perfectionist of a boyfriend Jimin at his dance studio with the intent of dragging him home. But their pent-up emotions from spending time apart has the visit ending with a lot of kissing and a little experimenting.

Words: 8,200

8. Already Midnight

Summary: On New Year's Eve, Taehyung is drunk. So drunk that he doesn't recognize Jimin as his boyfriend. When Jimin kisses him at midnight, Taehyung threatens to call his man- aka Jimin.

Words: 3,951

9. Worth The Risk

Summary: The rules are simple: no kissing on the lips, no petnames, no cuddling after sex, no sleepovers, no labels, and no catching feelings.

It should be simple. In fact, it would be simple, if it weren’t for one tiny thing...Taehyung is pretty sure he’s in love with Jimin. And that’s absolutely against the rules.

Words: 23,645

10. Common Ground

Summary: Taehyung is rich, a little bit bratty, a lot a bit spoiled, and failing calculus. Jimin works full time, tutors, and is a straight-A student. There's a rulebook somewhere that states very clearly that people like Jimin should never associate with people like Taehyung. But rules are meant to be broken. And opposites always, always attract.

Words: 44,136

11. This is not a dream

Summary: He would think they were ships in the night if not for the fact that every night, Jimin lays his head in Taehyung’s lap and Taehyung runs fingers without nerve endings through his hair. If they didn't have this false, teasing closeness long enough to learn every detail of each other's lives, long enough that Jimin is the person Taehyung spends the most time with by a mile.

(Jimin leaves. Two months later, he falls in love with Taehyung.)

Words: 12,370

12. Shooting Stars and Silver Moons

Summary: Yoongi and Jimin make a bet, Taehyung makes bad decisions.

(Or: "I'm kind of pissed you didn't choose me to fake date, I'm your best friend")

Words: 20,206

13. the whole world is blue

Summary: Taehyung is not going to confess. That kind of thing never ends well. The movies are wrong. It doesn't always turn out to be mutual. Real life isn't so romantic like that.

Words: 10,829

14. Swipe Right

Summary: As a best friend, Jimin will do anything for Taehyung. This includes being his fake boyfriend to ward off the unwanted attention Taehyung is receiving after using a dating app and agreeing to meet someone.

Words: 26,085

15. Define Me in Terms of You

Summary: This is either Taehyung's greatest idea, or his worst.

“So, let me get this straight. You want me to teach you how to play guitar, join a fake band and enter a competition just so that you can impress a guy you like?"

Words: 9,808

16. i just adore you asking for more

Summary: Taehyung is a successful model looking for a discreet release. Jimin is a professional dom who won’t judge his browsing history.

Words: 90,201

17. Sirius

Summary: "Dude, our entire relationship could be an Ed Sheeran album."

Words: 16,955

18. it's your heart i wanna live (& sleep) in

Summary: The first time Jimin sleeps over at Taehyung's, it's an emergency. The other times after? That's a different story.

Words: 22,658

19. kissing up on fences (and up on walls, i don't want to fall)

Summary: They’ve always been close, Taehyung and Jimin. Where one went, it would be rare to see them without the other. This is a fact Namjoon knows better than most, having coexisted with them in close quarters for such a long time.

Namjoon had not, however, for all his proclaimed wisdom and prudence, had the foresight to see that they’d become this close.

(or: the five times the other members thought they were dating, and the one time jimin starts to wonder if they really are)

Words: 8,738

20. The Usual

Summary: Alternatively titled: The Regular

Jimin will date anyone, except for boys who serve coffee.

Words: 27,935

21. i'm so sorry but it's fake love (tbh, not really)

Summary: when chaebol/commitment anti-fan park jimin learns he's being married off, he does the smartest thing in the world: hire a fake boyfriend he found on the internet (aka Craigslist's personal ads)

all he needs is just three months with said fake boyfriend to convince his parents to leave him alone. after that, he'll get back to his regular programming.

except, not really.

Words: 209,565

22. Gravity//Oxygen

Summary: He already lost his parents.

He'll be damned if he loses Jimin's smile too.

We stay together.

Always.

Taehyung is out for revenge. And he'll do anything to get it.

Words: 180,321

23. A Screenshot of Youth

Summary: There’s a sharp intake of breath, Taehyung’s grip tightening over Jimin’s with a gentle squeeze. “Jimin,” his voice is serious, and Jimin watches him, strangely endeared. “Let’s be friends.”

And it’s like this, that they begin as friends in the heat of a sweltering summer, twelve years old and too young to think much of it, hands twined together under the blanket of a setting sun.

(In which Jimin and Taehyung grow up together.)

Words: 18,496

24. i'll take the desert, you take the coast

Summary: “Everyone I know is a candlestick nearing its demise. They’re afraid of bringing meaning into their lives, of cultivating that glow. But you, prince Park Jimin, you are different. You glow with the passion of more than a thousand suns.”

Words: 30,973

25. just to get a taste

Summary: The one where Jeongguk dares Jimin and Taehyung to kiss and it unravels a lot of feelings. But mostly more kisses.

Or the one where Jimin's heart is stupid and Jimin's best friend is actually irresistible. Who'd've thunk, huh?

Words: 24,375

26. tell them it's the end

Summary: Five months after Taehyung suddenly walked out on him, Jimin finds out that Taehyung has yet to inform his family, who absolutely loved Jimin, about their split.

Jimin tries to swallow his feelings as he once again “dates” Taehyung.

Words: 13,802

27. stay with you

Summary: Taehyung wondered why he always see this blonde man, getting wasted every night. Its such a shame seeing his pretty face wasting every single night of his life in this bar.

Until he saw his eyes, and he understood why.

(Or Jimin is broken and he wanted his happiness back.)

Words: 12,875

28. ring the changes

Summary: That's the nature of one-sided confessions. Things change.

Words: 45,248

29. summer, winter, spring (i'm falling for you)

Summary: The school starts to take notice of Jimin.

Taehyung has always noticed.

Words: 41,786

30. Make Me-al

Summary: In which Jimin starts to work at Jin's restaurant and there he meets Taehyung, the new rookie waiter that kinda gets him off his nerves (the feeling is mutual). Yet, the tension between them is hotter than the ovens from the kitchen...

Words: 26,886

31. such stuff as dreams are made on

Summary: "sir no one, may i have this dance?"

or: kim taehyung, a kitchen boy, sneaks into a royal masquerade. park jimin is the prince he never expected.

Words: 38,753

#ao3fic #bangtan #bts #bts fic #jimin #taehyung #vmin #vmin fic #vmin au

[excelsi-or]

your type (pt. 7)

Hellooooo~ I’m in a writing mood lately and have been paying more attention to this story again. :) so you’ll get a few more parts this month. 

BIPOC rec: Braiding Sweetgrass - Robin Wall Kimmerer; a beautiful book about botany and its influence on Indigenous people and how we can relate their teachings to climate justice. My favourite quote: “All flourishing is mutual.”

I’m also going to reblog this post with a bunch of links to support Daunte Wright as well as the protests in the U.S.

w.c. 1.4k (this one’s a bit shorter, but the next part is a LONG one. Like the longest post I’ve ever done across all my stories. I don’t want to split it up. So be prepared and enjoy :))

pairing: jihoon x OC/reader

pt. 1; pt. 2; pt. 3; pt. 4; pt. 5; pt. 6

Like every day for the last month, Jihoon is waiting for her in the hallway outside her lab. She closes the door behind her and notices the paper bag in his hand.

“I made us lunch.”

She blinks. “You made us… lunch?”

“Yeah.”

She ducks into the student office to grab her water bottle. When she reemerges, Jihoon motions with his head for her to walk with him.

“We need to talk.”

She lifts an eyebrow. “What about?”

“Just have to lay my cards on the table.”

Jihoon had gone over what he was going to say with Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Soonyoung the night before.

“It doesn’t need to be a big fancy speech,” Seungcheol said. “Just say how you feel.”

“I don’t…” He couldn’t exactly argue that he felt nothing. And his friends were clear that they didn’t think he felt nothing. “I don’t know what I feel. I just don’t think we can win this bet and we should call it.”

Soonyoung smacked the side of his head. “You can. And here’s what you’re going to say.”

“I want to be honest with you about my intentions so that you’re not confused as to why I’m hanging around you.”

She nods slowly and then takes a swig of her water. “Seems very formal of you.”

They walk right through the skywalk and take the stairs out onto the green. They find a tree to sit under. The air is warm, but there’s an intermittent breeze that makes it tolerable. He pulls two bowls of spicy ramen that he made before coming and hands one to her. It, at the very least, gets a smile on her face.

“I want you to know…” Jihoon pauses, stirring his noodles and watching the steam rise from the container. “I’m all in.”

She doesn’t miss a beat. “All into what?”

So, he doesn’t either. “This. Us. Whatever this is I’m pursuing. I want you to know that the stories you’ve heard about me are probably true, that I have hurt other people before, but I want to try with you.”

Her chewing slows, as she processes these words.

“Look,” Soonyoung had said, “it’s not lost on her that you’re a player. And Jihyo’s told hyung that some of your past girlfriends have shared… their opinions about you. You can’t hide those.”

“I know that someone like me has hurt you before and you don’t have to tell me about him ever, but I don’t want to be that guy. I want to be someone you can trust. Someone you can trust to give you the honesty you deserve.”

He’s started adlibbing off of Soonyoung’s speech. The speech had something about heaven and finding himself. It was too romantic and there was no way someone like her would buy it.

Meanwhile, her stomach is churning and she isn’t sure if it’s from the spicy noodles or from what Jihoon is saying. “You’re saying,” she searches for the words she wants to use, “you want to date me?”

“Yeah.”

“Just… me.”

“Yeah.”

She leans back against the tree and makes a point of stirring her noodles to cool them, mostly just stalling for time. A third woman had come to her while she was walking into the chemistry building that morning. It was as if all of Jihoon’s past conquests were gravitating towards her in some weird twist of fate.

Which was a strange coincidence, because Jihyo had just spent the better part of last night convincing her to give Jihoon a chance.

And now hearing Jihoon speak like this is messing with her head further.

“What happened to your date last night?” She shakes her head. “You told me you had dates lined up for the next week.”

“Cancelled. All of them.” Jihoon knew she knew about Ara yesterday. “Including yesterday’s.”

“All because you suddenly want to date me?”

“No, because I realized that unless I tell you what I want straight up, you won’t know. And my actions and what I want weren’t lining up. So…” Jihoon makes a point to catch her gaze. “I’m trying.”

“She’s not going to believe you,” Mingyu had said. “So, the best way is not to convince her that you’ll be good but that you’ll try to be better. For some reason, girls love when we say we’ll try to be better than we once were.”

She pauses. She’s about to put food in her, but sets the bowl down instead. “How many girls were there before me?”

Bewildered by this question, Jihoon says, “I can’t count that.”

She shakes her head. “Not one-night stands. Not girls you were only with for sex. Actual people that you actually dated.”

Jihoon swallows hard. Being honest here could ruin everything he’s built up until this point. “Maybe 7.”

She nods. “Name them.”

Jihoon bites his tongue.

“If you dated them, they must have meant something to you. You gave them more than a few nights.”

So, he does. He lists them off, but her face doesn’t look happy. Which maybe it wouldn’t because he’s listing off his exes, and she’s never come off as a masochist.

“Chaeyoung?”

Jihoon freezes. Almost immediately, his mind is scrambling and he’s unsure why.

“She’s in your lab,” Jihoon says in disbelief.

“What did you tell them all when they asked you why you weren’t talking to them?” She’s reaching with this question; hoping and dreading that Jihoon really is the creature of habit she’s learned him to be.

And it’s only through this sudden interrogation that Jihoon is realizing how intensely these past women of his have outted him. And it explains why she’s been distant. He hangs his head in shame, because he cannot believe he’s being called out like this. “It was something like…” He turns away from her, hoping a breeze carries his voice away. “‘I’m ignoring you now, please leave me alone.’”

“So, tell me how I’m any different to those girls. Tell me this whole thing isn’t some orchestrated game you’ve played over and over again.”

Jihoon doesn’t know how to answer.

“Jihyo told me that I was being too harsh with you. That the stories I was hearing were coming from women who had been hurt by you. That heartbreak distorts all the good parts about a relationship.” She waits for him to look her way. “My experience with heartbreak is… varied, that’s for sure. And you’re right. Your reputation is exactly how I felt like I was treated the last time I gave my heart to somebody.” She picks up the noodles and lets them slip through her chopsticks.

Jihoon can feel the tiniest flicker of hope rising in his belly, can’t explain the way his heart lifts.

“But my friends keep telling me that I’ll never know good love if I don’t let myself be vulnerable again.” She looks at him, studying his features. What she’s searching for neither of them is sure. “But I’m really, really scared that…”

Jihoon nudges her gently with his hand, careful not to touch her too much. “You can talk to me.”

Her gaze is unwavering. “I’m scared that I’m just going to be another notch on your bedpost.”

The magnitude of work required to win this bet hits Jihoon’s chest like a ton of bricks, hard. He’s sure it almost winds him. But he can see the cracks in her armour right now and he would be stupid (not to mention his friends will strangle him) if he doesn’t wiggle in just a little bit.

His voice is gentle. “I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you.”

“I never liked promises I know people can’t keep. They make real promises redundant.”

Completely fine by him.

“Can we just try it out?” He knows this formula works.

Except the pause is so long that he swears she’s going to say no. “Fine.”

His eyebrows lift, so does that hope in his belly. “Really?”

She nods, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Yeah. Really.”

Jihoon realizes that she’s definitely played his game before with other men when he glances at her lips and she smirks.

“That does not mean that you can kiss me right now.”

He smiles genuinely for the first time since they started taking. “Fine.” He recognizes the warmth spreading through his chest. It’s a nice feeling. One he hasn’t felt around anyone in a while.

“Thanks for the ramen, by the way.”

“Not too spicy?”

“I mean, yes, but it’s still good.”

“Does this mean that you’ll come to the studio and listen to those songs after work?”

She hums. “Yeah, okay.”

#woozi #woozi imagines #woozi scenarios #Lee Jihoon #lee jihoon scenarios #Seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt

[sullustangin]

Get to Know the Blogger

Tagged by @swtorpadawan  and @ayresis

Tagging  @vexa-legacy, @walk-ng-d-saster, @ermingarden, @actualanxiousswampwitch annnnd @inqorporeal -- no pressure!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I started writing a  fan fic series called Corellian Whiskey and Sullustan Gin.  The CW is Theron’s favored drink in canon (it seems), while SG is my OC smuggler’s favorite drink.

2. Any sideblogs?

Nope.  I try to keep my chaos to one area.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Since June 2020.  I’m a n00b.

4. Why did you originally start your blog?

See #1; I wanted to interact with readers and also get more prompts and engagement with the community itself.  Not everyone feels comfortable commenting on AO3 , so more often than not, it felt like I was posting into a void.

5. Why did you choose your icon?

Literally, first pretty google image result off the search engine for ‘gin and tonic’. 

6. Why did you choose your header?

It was a really pretty rendering of the Millennium Falcon.  Also yoinked from google images (I have no shame).

7. What is your post with the most notes?

I THINK it’s this piece of art by @lawrichai  that I commissioned:  Theron and Eva running off to a Yavin hideout with 88 notes.  Close second is the Lana Beniko tribute sweater.

8. How many mutuals do you have?

About 70ish.

9. How many followers do you have?

About 120 or less, if you count the tarty blogs.

10. How many blogs do you follow?

300+  -- I follow a lot of artists and prompt lists to try to provoke my brain into creatively cooperating.

11. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Probably.  I can’t think of any off the top of my head at the moment.

12. How many times do you use tumblr a day?

I check in when I take breaks from work. 

13. Have you ever fought another blog?

Accidentally, once.  Basically, I was/am still a tumblr n00b and I was trying to have a discussion with someone in the comments while feeding a four-month old.  (I felt like reblogs were call outs at the time.)  Needless to say, the multiple comments that hit the word limits probably felt like spam/harassment, and I didn’t get my point across well AT ALL.  Then I got blocked by the person in question.  Valid. 

14. How do you feel about “need to reblog” posts?

(scrolls by)

15. Do you like tag games?

Yes! 

16. Do you like ask games?

Even more than tags, since they are anonymous so people don’t feel like they’ve been put on the spot.  One of the great perks of tumblr interactions about the fan fics is that it helps me with development.  I get inspiration off prompts. 

17. Which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

I think @swtorpadawan and @a-muirehen   are two of the more well-known people SWTOR community.  I also am mutuals with a few artists on their non-art accounts, so they probably have wider tumblr recognition since they are cross-fandom.

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope, but I appreciate everyone who encourages/tolerates my fanworks!

#tag game #thanks for tagging! #about the author #bless this little hellsite

[impala-dreamer]

Rules: make a new post and share your answers.

I keep getting tagged so... here we go! <33

1. Why did you choose your URL?

Because I’m a daydreamer and the Impala is the most important object in pretty much the whole universe... der

2. Any sideblogs? If you do, name them and say why you have them.

Well THIS is a sideblog itself lol technically... but yes, I have currently 9 blogs. You never know where I am... ooooo *ninja eyes*

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

My first post here was August 1, 2016. But... I was on for a few months before that lurking and reading ;)

4. Do you have a queue tag?

“That’s No Queue” 10 points if you get that...

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

So... Misha joined and I was like “cool I’ll go look” and then I started reading and I was like “hey, I wonder if I can do that there writing thing...” 

6. Why did you choose your icon?

It’s one of my favorite shots from the series and I don’t think I’ve changed it in like 3 years? oops

7. Why did you choose your header?

Again, another favorite shot. Also ‘Baby’ is one of the best episodes ever so I took it from there. Also they’re sleeping and i’m “dreamer” so I thought it was a thing.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Much to my dismay, it’s a post from the purge(tm) with like 20K notes on it and i hate it and people still reblog it. It’s about how to fix your icon if you’re pixilated lol 

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Idk, I can’t brain that

10. How many followers do you have?

More than 5, less than 20K

11. How many people do you follow?

109 right now

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Every post I make is shit.

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

Even if i’m not active, I’m here. I see everything... 

14. Have you ever had a fight/argument with another blog? Who won?

Oh yes, a few. Mostly, I just get attacked and then blamed for the attack because I”M THE DEVIL. 

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I do what I want. I don’t like being shamed into reblogging shit. “If you don’t reblog this, you hate your kids.” Yeah... ok then.

16. Do you like tag games?

usually, yeah.

17. Do you like ask games?

I do!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

What exactly is tumblr famous? bc like ten pple have tagged me as famous and I can’t get a damned feedback ask to save a dolphin. lmao

@kittenofdoomage ... who am I even mutuals with? lmao. um... @cockslut-padalecki  @negans-lucille-tblr 

 19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

oh for sures. @because-imma-lady-assface @covered-byroses  @kittenofdoomage and I are totes gonna bone when I get over the ocean hehe

20. Tags?

yeah just like... if you wanna do it, go for it ;)

#tag thing

[numbaoneflaya]

You can count on me to pull up with a thousand of questions sbdhdh. A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ; A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ; A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ; A9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ;

A3.Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Shawty got that stockholm syndrome in a way. She is…. Sometimes aware of it, though she wouldn't call it that any more. Maybe at first in the basement she was more aware, but now that she can come and go she thinks its a thing of the past. tries not to dwell on it. Kind of in a “well its literally not that bad its kind of fun its kind of romantic were just quirky <3” way, will get mad if someone insists she has stockholm or that the relationship is fucked. Will get enraged and upset on Vincent's behalf, probably cry and yell at you.

A22. Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I intended her to be fairly average, maybe kind of cute. It's generally the way she dresses/acts in public that draws attention, not her looks. I tend to make most of my ocs on the average scale besides a select few.

C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Good question…. Jillys morals are pretty simple- always be kind and nice, murder and hurting other people is bad, and you shouldnt lie. She sticks to those pretty strictly herself despite the situations she gets put in, often to her own detriment. But she doesn't always put a stop to those behaviors from the people she surrounds herself with, so she's sort of accomplice to bad acts of violence just by not snitching. So somewhat situational? She tries not to think about it.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Not comfortable! She hadn't seen a lot of it before her early twenties and was always sort of sheltered. dead fish are flushed down the toilet bcs they go to the ocean to live again, right? Thought cows and such all died of old age peacefully before they were made into burgers until she was like… twelve. 💀Won't kill mice and other critters despite her prey drive bcs she would feel too bad. And this is just for animal death, she's much more uncomfortable with human death. Also a thing she tries to ignore.

F3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

God no. She hates small spaces unless she's hiding in them and tiny homes have no room for all the shit she stashes! No room for zoomies, or climbing on the furniture, or wrestling around on the floor. It would be filled with junk within a week.

A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ;

A18. Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He's never had much to be jealous of, as he's never really been over involved in romantic relationships. They were usually mutually beneficial and somewhat clinical in nature. Hes also pretty sure of himself and his value as an asset and lover. If he finds someone who peaks his interest and they become an item though, he might get jealous if he catches them flirting with other people. Hell be peeved at first but know flirtation in business has its value, so to make himself feel better might flirt with someone else while they are nearby. Make a game of it, see who wins.

A23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Appearances are crucial to him and spends a lot of time and money making sure he looks his best. He needs to appear above the rabble and impenetrable, dressing well and having immaculate posture and an air of both grace and otherworldliness.

B9. What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely not one to find fart jokes funny. Very rarely laughs genuinely or full heartedly, he keeps all his expressions of emotion close to his chest. Sharp sardonic wit is appealing to him in the right circumstances, even a jab directed at himself can make him chuckle if it's well formed enough. Irony almost always gets him, even if its dark irony or gallows humor. Bit of a hard nut to crack. Would laugh enough that hed have to cover his mouth with his hand if he were to see Felix fall face first into mud, though. More often than not you can tell he finds something amusing by a gleam in his eyes and a slight squint.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Well he used to have a real moral code :/. Now I mean…. The ends justify the means. By any means necessary. He considers his family's needs first, then the good of the world, then any individual in the world. Has ordered executions of entire families, had babies stolen and sent away, sent armies to certain death knowing full well they would all die, commanded individuals be tortured for information, sacrificed many in what he considers to be a game of chess where he is the player and others are the pawns. He finds senseless violence and savagery to be unforgivable, but if violence has a sense and purpose to employ it, then he will do so.

H2. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Nirn tends to be a very thoughtful and attentive person in general, just for the wrong reasons lmaoooo. But with a lover? He's going to be utilizing that to show them how much he cares and using his powers for good. Mention you like a certain fabric while shopping one time and then complain your favorite tunic has a wine stain in it several months later, he's going to be taking your measurements for a new one in your preferred material without a moment's notice. Very keen on picking up moods, expressions and tone. Also has a very good memory. He doesn't really think about it but gifts are how he shows his love. Also a great attentive listener.

A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ;

A5. Are they good at handling change in their life?

I would say so, yeah. Shes been used to things constantly changing since she was little and has had little to no control on outside influences. Shes also not one to over think about the past and lament, shes more of a one foot in front of the other, the only time is the present kind of gal. Of course large changes like becoming a warden were a bit more severe, but shes mostly able to think in the present as long as she has immediate problems to deal with.

B9.What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Slapstick is always gonna make her laugh as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, even if its her own ass tripping into a tree. Not a fan of scare pranks, 0/10 recommend trying to scare Thurwen. You will end up with a broken nose at best and an angry elf. Likes puns, but she's the one to groan at them and try and hide the grin spreading across her face. Gallows humor but only if its her in the gallows, otherwise doesn't find it funny at all. If a little kid calls someone a fartcicle she will be tears in the eyes giggling, which is hard when your warden commander and everyone looks toward you to be serious and mature gyshsdhdfsghsd.

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

She definitely holds herself to moral ideals and is very hard on herself, but has realistic moral expectations for others. She can understand self serving and people only wanting to survive and she will only give people a little bit of shit for it, no one's perfect. But then she expects herself to be perfect and berates herself constantly for not living up to the hero of ferelden warden commander ideals.

D1. How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Atheist ever since her mom died when she was a kid, but now Shes in a weird mixed state ever since the urn of sacred ashes where shes like. fuck the maker, but Andraste is cool I guess. So respects/believes in the power of Andraste while thinking the maker is a piece of shit and the chantry sucks ass. Even she doesnt know what she really believes, but she did see the ghosts of Andrastes disciples and Shartan, used her ashes as healing salve, killed an old god, etc. So shes been in a weird place recently, crisis of faith/non faith pretty continual.

I5. Are they a good cook?

I mean…. She can cook basics. Shes been feeding herself and the alienage kids since she was old enough to walk so she knows how to get protein and make things edible. Does it taste good? Probably not. She didnt see her first spice till she was 17 years old, but she can skin a rabbit in seven seconds.

LA9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

She tries to excuse bad behavior of herself or others a lot, yeah fgdgdsfhdhs. Mostly she doesnt have to make excuses for herself because she can wholeheartedly be like “yeah i fucked up but whatever im sexy and large and awesome and everyone loves me 🙄whatever baby” and when other people fuck up shes pretty sympathetic even though they are not as large nor as sexy. Shes very used to forgiving and excusing herself its totally alien to her when she really fucks up and is suddenly like wait… valkya…. Did bad?? What is this feeling. Shame?? Guilt?? IMPOSSIBLE.

A13. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

She hates those giant bugs in morrowind and valenwood a whole fucking lot but I wouldnt exactly place it as a phobia. Those huge mosquitoes and haorvers got no respect but she really hates the morrowind bugs ever since they knocked her over and jumped her while she was pants down peeing drunk as hell in the sand :/ never forgave. Never forgot.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

She was raised in a healthy household that tought the basics, prety much “harming others needlessly, stealing, torture, rape, dessecrating the dead, being selfish and not doing right by others, etc etc all basic bad things” are her morals. Her morality is basically treat others how you want to be treated. And if they treat you badly, then have fun beating the shit out of them to show everyone else not to fuck with you. Its a pretty nordic morality in that way. Her morality is also since she was ‘blessed’ with being so large and strong, that she has to also look out for the little guy who cant protect themselves. So If someone treats them how valkya wouldn't want to be treated, then beat the shit out of the person harming them to show them the little guys got backup. Her parents raised her to be a hero and thats p much how she sees herself, which has its benefits and its fuckin problems.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Fucking up Dem and Dariens relationship for sure dude :/ valkya always gonna be sulking over that one. She doesnt regret becoming a vestige, even though it would have made her so much happier not to be because it ended up saving so many people and the world. She regrets not spending more time with Naryu, regrets always having other life saving business she had to run off to, regrets not cherishing the time they had together. Regrets not telling Lyris how she feels, either. Regrets not being able to save as many people as she should have, regrets she wasnt stronger in coldharbor and didnt break out herself. But she tries not to think about it <3

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

When she was seven she once spent two months training to hold her breath underwater, because her cousin always held it longer and won the gold bet. She trained for hours almost drowning in the river until she could comfortably hold it for up to three minutes. During the next holiday when they all got together again the competitions were on and they both went under- her cousin won, holding their breath for four more minutes before they decided to come up. This was the first lesson she learned that shocked her world view- you always need to know your opponents capabilities. (after she lost 26 gold in the bets, her mother later had to inform her that her cousin was an argonian.)

#thank u beloved this was good to go thru while in class when i should have been paying attention gfhsdhds #valkya #jilly #nirn #thurwen #the ladies and the gilf #presented without evidence; valkya be stupit kinda :/ #HOW DO U DO URS SO FAST... SUPER POWERS

[fishoutofcamelot]

Hi there! I hope you’re well. I just wanted to send a message to thank you for the elyan content 😍 he is my favourite knight but for some reason I never see much of him on tumblr! So it’s awesome to see him on your blog. I hope I didn’t bother you with this ask 🙈

I AM doing well, actually! And you didn’t bother me, asks will probably never bother me <3

I could go on for a million years about why no one makes content about Elyan - and sometimes forget he exists altogether - but I don’t wanna start drama so we’ll just. Not touch that topic with a 10-foot pole

BUT! Elyan IS a fantastic knight, and the fact that he is your favourite knight too is very iconic and sexy of you. Elyan fans/stans are the sexiest members of this fandom. That’s not even opinion, that’s just science

So! Here’s a list of Elyan headcanons, because he’s worth it:

Elyan is ace. Them’s the facts

He’s also gay but in that stage where he’s questioning if he might be bi. Unfortunately, he died before reaching an answer

I hate to talk about Hogwarts Houses in 2020, but he is one hell of a Hufflepuff. Elyan is his name and protecting his loved ones with life and limb is his game. It is very easy to earn his loyalty, and once you have he will ride straight through Hell for you

Elyan likes hoods. He wears hoods whenever he can (i mean c’mon, that outfit in season 3 was serving some killer looks)

He’s just a protective older brother to literally everyone in Camelot. Yes, even Gaius

Gwen, Elyan, Leon, and Merlin have family game night once every month. They all gather in their old house in the lower town to get drunk, play some dice games, and spend the whole night goofing off

Only a few people know about game night. Even fewer people have seen it with their own eyes. Arthur and Gwaine frequently try to sneak in to see game night for themselves, but somehow never succeed

Elyan loves swimming. They don’t get many chances for it, but whenever they do, Elyan is the best swimmer out of all the knights

He’s also like. Really good at sneaking up on people. Consistently rolls high on stealth checks

Out of everyone in the Round Table, Elyan is the most easily spooked. He hates it when they gather around the fire to tell ghost stories, bc he will NOT be able to sleep the rest of the night after that

Why do people think there’s no dynamic or chemistry between Elyan and Gwaine??? Those two had a SOLID friendship and I will not stand for this disrespect (also, Perelyan is good but Elyaine is godtier imo)

Elyan is bad at blacksmithing. Like really bad. No one even understands how that works, considering he spent his whole childhood training under his father. All the blacksmithing talent apparently went to Gwen somehow

He likes bugs. When he was a kid he would go out in the woods and collect beetles and stuff to stick in little terrarium jars. He’d even give them names and backstories and personalities. Sometimes he would sit under a tree and tell Gwen stories about all these adventures his bugs would go on when no one was looking

Leon HATED bugs, and got creeped out by them, which meant Elyan was legally obligated to harass him about it

Elyan doesn’t get much chance to catch bugs anymore, but he’s also the only member of the Round Table who can put up with spiders

Spider in the armory? Everyone is freaking out while Elyan just calmly picks it up and lets it outside - but not without lots of snark and eye-rolling, of course

The reason Elyan ran away from home was because his mother had died and he saw it as a personal failing. He felt that it was his fault she was dead, because he couldn’t protect her, and left Camelot because he couldn’t bear the shame of guilt

In the last few years of his time away from Camelot, Elyan fell in love and lived out an mlm cottagecore fantasy where he and his lover raised wyverns together. But when Morgause came to capture him, she killed his lover and burnt their wyvern farm to the ground

Elyan tries not to let his grief be known, though. Not just because he doesn’t want to burden Gwen with his pain, but also because his lover had magic and he could get arrested for having fallen in love with a sorcerer

Morgause had Elyan captive for a while before Gwen showed up. She even used the nathair on him in small increments; not long enough to kill him or damage him irreparably, but enough to make him suffer. It’s for this reason that Elyan was able to bounce back from being tortured by Morgana whereas Gwaine didn’t survive it, because Morgause had already microdosed him with that kind of pain two years ealier

Still traumatizing, though. Like. This boy is EXTREMELY traumatized, can someone please get him some therapy???

Moving back to Camelot with Gwen was simultaneously healing and harming. Healing, because  he visited his dad’s grave, rebuilt his relationship with Gwen, and his companionship with her, Merlin, and Leon helped him move on from the pain of his loss. But harming because of all the anti-magic prejudice that surrounded him, and every time someone said magic was evil it was like another dagger in his heart. That was his dead lover they were talking about and calling a monster. Someone who was kind and compassionate and funny, who didn’t have a lick of evil in them, who would have burned at the stake by Camelot’s laws

Elyan didn’t think about what it meant to be a knight of Camelot when he agreed to be knighted. But he was just so determined to fight and kill Morgause, the woman who had killed his lover and his wyverns and abducted him from his home, that he didn’t even think about it. He just wanted Morgause dead. It wasn’t until a few days later when he realized that being a knight of Camelot meant enforcing Camelot’s anti-magic laws, and this realization naturally caused him distress

Instead of abandoning his knighthood, Elyan found a compromise. He would support Arthur in everything, until magic got involved. If Arthur ever captured druids or put sorcerers to death, Elyan decided he would smuggle them out of the city. He would never actively kill or capture those with magic, and would sometimes even try to sabotage efforts in capturing harmless magic-users

Elyan knew full well what Dragoon was doing. He knew that Gwen and Arthur’s love was true and required no enchantment, meaning Dragoon had simply framed himself to get Gwen out of a jam. He appreciates Dragoon, and even though he supposedly killed Uther, Elyan can’t even fault him for that. Elyan wanted to kill Uther too

Merlin is the little brother Elyan always wanted, and Elyan is the older brother Merlin never had. They act so much like siblings it’s not even funny, and some people question if they were actually raised together 

He and Merlin like to team up and tease Gwen. They’ll walk behind her and chant stuff like “Gwen and Arthur sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G”. They’re like children, and it’s both very funny and very annoying

Gwen gets her revenge, of course. She always gets her revenge

They also team up to be like. Super protective of Gwen. The vetting process Arthur had to go through - between Elyan, Leon, AND Merlin - in order to date Gwen was ridiculous

Arthur: Merlin I’m literally your boss. Your friend. You've been my personal manservant for like six years now

Merlin: Yeah, which means I know exactly how much of a dick you are

After being possessed by the druid ghost, Elyan is a lot more in tune with the supernatural

Am I suggesting that Elyan can now see, talk to, and interact with ghosts, and even starts a little agency where he goes around helping them complete their unfinished business? Why yes, yes I am

When Gwen was banished, Elyan wanted to go with her. But she asked him to stay behind and keep an eye on Agravaine, as she suspected him of treachery, and to stop him from taking over Camelot should Agravaine make a move. And, well, Elyan has never been able to say no to his sister

Elyan and Merlin decided to try and find a way to prove Gwen’s innocence. There’s no way she was acting of her own accord, after all. There was some kind of enchantment at play, there had to be. Merlin doesn’t tell him about Shade!Lancelot directly, but does propose it as a theory regarding how Lancelot had come back from the dead. Elyan supports the theory 100%

About two months after the wedding, Merlin and Elyan locate the enchanted bracelet, and Gwen and Lancelot’s names are finally cleared

In Avalon, Elyan, Freya, and Lancelot spend the whole time watching/narrating the events of season 5 like sports commentators. They are all mutually exasperated at Merlin’s antics

When Arthur shows up in Avalon, the only reason Elyan doesn’t punch him in the face is because he’s too busy restraining Lance from doing the same

He does, however, give him a strong talking-to about how “all your magic and you still can’t save my life” is a horrible thing to say actually

Lancelot, however, is more upset about the “I guess I was wrong” speech

Gwaine shows up in Avalon like. SUPER traumatized. He died while being tortured by a nathair, died in a way that he perceived to be failure, and he’s kinda messed up because of that. Elyan, who has already had a few years to cope with nathair torture, is the one who helps Gwaine heal from his trauma

In the 21st century, Elyan gets reincarnated along with everyone else. His childhood is plagued with weird dreams, dreams that terrify him. Snakes and pain, wyverns and fire, all of it. He meets an old man who calls himself Merlin, who helps Elyan through the pain of remembering his past life. For once, Elyan gets to be taken care of instead of the other way around. For once, he is allowed to be vulnerable and weak and struggling. He doesn’t hide his tears. He gets the help he needs and works through his trauma

And one day, many years later, he is walking down the street when he sees someone who looks oddly familiar. The face of an old lover, perhaps

Thanks for the ask! <3

#Merlin Fandom Stop Forgetting About Elyan Challenge #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #merlin #bbcm #ask #fish post

[missinghan]

time lapse ⤖ seo changbin

❖ genre : idiots to lovers! au; long-distance relationship! au; fluff; a teeny tiny bit of angst

❖ word count : 14,9k.

❖ warning : explicit language, suggestive remarks & mentions of alcohol

❖ summary : you used to see Changbin as a friend until you realized that you both don’t look at each other the way best friends are supposed to. 

one.

Apparently, people like you and Changbin don’t look forward to spring breaks, ever, because you simply cannot see the point in getting pumped for the very few days of sleeping in only to dread every last moment of it. Hence, he keeps FaceTiming you every day and night with such ridiculous reasons it actually boosts your ego into thinking that he misses you. 

Oh, boy were you wrong.

But this time around, he seems so flustered and burnt up all of a sudden it makes a smirk creep its way up to your lips. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state, you’re more than satisfied like a sadistic predator. You can really use some tea right now, it’s been a little boring without any dramas other than Hyunjin being dramatic over how his hair does not look good in any way, shape or form. That alone is enough for you to throw him off a cliff because since when does Hwang Hyunjin not look good?

Changbin asks. “Have you eaten?”

“Yes, I have. You’ve been asking the same question for five minutes straight.” You roll your eyes at him in the bitchiest way possible. 

He questions subconsciously, only to have you narrow your eyes at him. “You have work tomorrow, right?”

“Bin, you have my schedule. Of course, I have work tomorrow.” You utter in disbelief. 

“Can’t I just make up excuses to call my favorite girl?”

You make a gagging noise. “Cut the bullshit. Spill or I’m gonna whip out the big gun.” 

“And what is that?” He drawls the question in boredom. 

You grin at him coyly. “I’m gonna tell Chan to poison you with cilantro.” If Changbin had to choose between eating cilantro and jumping into a tank full of sharks, he’d definitely, without a second thought, sleep with those horrifying fishes with ridiculously deadly teeth. He hates cilantro with an ignited passion, and he’s entitled to that decision for the rest of his life. He’s sworn that he would never eat cilantro as long as he lives. 

“Fine,” Changbin huffs in defeat as he holds his phone up while lying on his bed. “I need your help.”

You twirl the end of your hair dreamily and acknowledge his request. “I like the sound of that, go on.” 

He shoots you a dirty look, proceeding to continue. “How do I get a girl to notice my feelings for her?” 

His words strike through your eardrums like a lightning bolt. You don’t know whether you should be crying or laughing because 1) Changbin was never the kind of guy to be interested in having a girlfriend, he has always kept his hands to himself since forever although girls were more than ready to throw themselves at him anytime, anywhere; 2) How come he has never talked to you about this? You feel utterly betrayed because the key to having a long-distance relationship is to not hide anything from each other. And he’s doing the exact opposite of that; 3) You don’t feel as happy for him as you’re supposed to and now you feel like a horrible friend. 

“Oh-my-god.” You gasp scandalously. “I’ve been waiting for this day to come my entire life! And it’s happening right in front of my eyes! It’s actually happening! Wait… did you already pop your cherries or…” When Changbin looks like he’s about to put your head on a stick, you quickly realize that you should have just focused on the topic. 

He fakes a smile. “And what day is that?” 

“The day that my best friend asks for relationship advice from me! To finally embrace the most amazing thing to happen in life, called ‘love’! Duh.” You prop your head onto your hand, blowing a few strands of hair out of your face. “So, who is she?” 

“I don’t know if you can really help me Y/N but she’s like 5,000 miles away from me right now—“

“What did you just say?” You cut him off unintentionally. “Is she an exchange student?”

“Yeah? You can say so..” He trails off and scratches the nape of his neck sheepishly. “We met on Tinder and got to see each other later at a uni conference, and she’s really—“

You cut him off again, this time, it’s intentional. “Run, just run away.”

“Why?” He looks at you weirdly. “You’re not making any sense right now.”

You chuckle creepily, making him shudder. He’s never seen you laughing in such a dark tone it makes him wonder if you’ve been possessed or not. “Running away is actually a smart move, my friend. Just get yourself out of the war before there’s blood on those precious fingers of yours. Exchange students get all the attention. Guys or girls, doesn’t matter. Students are gonna be attracted to them like a bunch of moths to a tiny spark of flame.”

“But, but—“

You stop him before he can even say something stupid. “No but. And a long-distance relationship too? Not ideal. You can’t just slide into her DMs and ask her to be with you when you’ve only met twice. Unless her feelings aren’t necessarily not mutual. But yeah, I doubt that.” 

“Whatever, I might as well just gonna fly home and watch some shitty movies with you instead.” Changbin purses his lips in boredom and runs a hand through his hair. “Do you wanna watch that zombie movie still? Zombieland right?” 

You nod eagerly because gosh, after months and months, he still remembers. It’s one of those little moments which perfectly showcases how much Changbin cares about you. Because unlike some people, he actually pays attention to what you’re saying. And you would be lying if you said that those little actions of his never made your heart tingle. They do, and it sucks. 

“Damn right, I’m pumped for the sequel, never really got the chance to watch it since college has been nothing but a bitch to me.” 

“You’re so fucking spoiled, Beastie.” He snickers, biting back a smile. But deep down, you can clearly see right through his facade and feel the slight disappointment in his brown eyes. Exchange student or not, if it’s what makes him happy, then you fully support his decision. And if that girl ever tries to pull a dirty move on him? You’ll hunt her down and sell her off to some random mafia organization. 

You laugh wholeheartedly, trying to lighten up the mood. “Listen, if you kept scrolling through Tinder, having a girlfriend wouldn’t be a problem. Because I’m pretty sure there’s not gonna be a single person who’d not swipe right.” 

Changbin cocks a brow. “Why not?”

“Because you’re hot as shit!”

He groans loudly at your bold statement, cheeks tinted pink in embarrassment. “Shut up, mom.” 

You smile cheekily at him. “Love you too, honey boo.”

two.

As much as you clown Changbin for using Tinder since the day he asked you for dating advice, you can’t help but think that you’re a little bit lonely without his company. Funny enough, you also found yourself scrolling through the infamous app for hours and hours until there’s a match. 

The only thing that’s funnier than Changbin asking dating advice from a total fetus than you is you talking big games to him when you haven’t even got laid, not even once. So obviously, you’re so close to pissing your pants as you dread the drive to your date, tremendously. 

“Since when did you even start using dating apps?” Yeji scrunches her nose in disapproval as she starts the engine. You both just finished watching ‘Dolittle’ since Robert Downey Jr. is an icon and you’re not planning on missing out on any of his movies. But that’s not the point because the point is, your roommate knows your impulsive ass too well. Meaning, she’s not letting your day end without giving you something to feel better about it. More straight forward-ly, she’s trying to lighten up your mood before your date can piss you off. 

You singsong, trying to wiggle yourself out of the situation. “Since Seo Changbin asked me about a girl.” You know Yeji just as well as how she knows you, so you’re taking advantage of her carelessness to bring up a whole new topic before she can lure you into ‘the talk’. 

Yeah, ‘the talk’, sounds scary enough if you’re thinking about that one awkward, intimate conversation with parents about how babies are made. You think it’s utterly useless since society is basically corrupted and kids these days are all over the place, watching porns left and right with their parents’ IDs. So having ‘the talk’ with Yeji is definitely not gonna be full of questionable statements in replacement for making love. 

As far as you know, she only forces someone into ‘the talk’ with her when they suddenly have some kind of romantic interest in another human being. Upon hearing that, she’s gonna be out and about, playing the role of God and telling people all of the do-s and don’t-s along with a detailed description of how she’s gonna drag that person to the very bottom of hell if they end up breaking their heart. You’re sure as hell that you’re not ready to talk about it with her. In other words, you’re not ready for her to torment you about some boy that you haven’t even met. 

“Seo Changbin, dating someone?” Yeji fakes a gasp. “Wow, tell me all about it.” 

You roll your eyes at her. “So you knew?” 

You don’t know why you’re even surprised anymore since Changbin tells Hyunjin everything who’d spill everything to Ryujin for their midnight gossip session who’d complain about it to Yeji later on. The cycle is fully completed before you even know it and that does not make you feel any less of a dumbass. 

“Duh,” She purses her lips before making a turn at the second intersection. “Listen, just enjoy your date, I’m not gonna tease you about it until you tell me how much of an asshole that guy is.” 

You sigh in relief, drowning into your seat like a jellyfish. “Thank God.”

“But,” Your roommate drawls the word for a painfully long time. “Can we just talk about how it’s such a shame? You and Changbin would make an extremely adorable couple, right? I kid you not.”

You choke on your own saliva, coughing furiously as your hand desperately tries to roll down the window for some fresh air, mainly for the heat that’s slowly creeping up on the apples of your cheeks. “Who would ship me and my best friend together? That sounds like every drama to ever exist. Ew.” Hissing at her like a snake, you repeatedly fan your face with the hope to rid off the annoying coral tint. 

Yeji narrows her eyes at you and quickly diverts her attention back on the road because no one is getting pulled over on a gorgeous Saturday night, at least not her. She still has to finish the last episodes of the drama she’s been fangirling over. “So you’re telling me that you’re not jealous when Changbin told you about other girls? You’re totally, absolutely, entirely okay with him hanging out with some random chick in Italy?” 

It makes your blood boil even more when she mentions the fact that yes, Changbin is having fun with someone who’s probably ten thousand times hotter than you in Europe, but you’re more pissed off at the fact that she’s always right. Of course, you’re fucking jealous, why wouldn’t you? You can’t even fathom the sheer fury that’s running through your veins. Your heart is pumping pure exasperation into your brain. Even your liver can’t filter such anger. You hate the idea of Changbin wrapping his arms around someone other than you so much you’d rather choke yourself to death than even glance at such sight. 

But, for the sake of a completely normal conversation, your mouth says otherwise. “Why not? He’s not my property, I don’t get to decide who he falls in love with. Moreover, he deserves someone he truly adores. That’s not my business for all I know.” 

“Liar,” Yeji smirks. “Enjoy your date all you want, Y/N. Try not to think about Changbin too much or your date’s gonna flip.”

Again, you can’t stress enough how annoying Hwang Yeji is because somehow, in which you still don’t know how, she can read your mind in a snap of a finger. So it’s no surprise for her to know that you’ve actually thought about dating your own best friend before. It sounds so cliché you might bury yourself alive if you accidentally slip one day and confess your stupid feelings for him. As if on cue, your sixth sense is currently tingling, trying to tell you that you will definitely make a fool of yourself as you try to elaborate on how you feel about Changbin. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” You sneer sarcastically at her as she parks her white Rover right in front of the restaurant. 

The moment you step out of her car, Yeji tosses you a look. “Don’t you dare trip on me Lee freaking Y/N, don’t even try it.”

“I’ll have Minho pick me up, now skittle outta here.” You grimace before shutting the door close. Turning on your heels, you inhale sharply and push the glass door open to enter what seems like literal hell on Earth for the next four hours or so. 

three.

Being on an actual date reminds you of why you never even use dating apps in the first place. 

The only part that prevents you from running away is that Yeji has his dating profile. She knows his number, his occupation, his face, and all that jazz because meeting strangers for the very first time and already eating out with them gives you every right to be paranoid. But you’re not gonna tell him that because you still respect him just fine. And in case he’s acting all sketch, you’re gonna make sure that he’s not going home in one piece. 

Okay, you can’t just blame Jaemin because he’s not an asshole. He really isn’t. He’s a nice guy in general: respectful, confident, and outgoing with a good sense of humor. Respectful? Checked. Confident? Checked. Good sense of humor? Checked. Outgoing? That’s the dealbreaker right there. You don’t hate him for it, it’s just he’s too outgoing for an introverted potato like you. 

Both Jaemin and Changbin have very strong personalities like every Leo should. You’re most definitely not an astrology nerd but you’re educated enough to know that Leos are dramatic, warm-hearted, passionate and impulsive. 

In which, Changbin makes you laugh your ass off until you can’t even breathe whenever he’s whining about you waking him up at 9 a.m. But you gave Jaemin nothing but a scrunch of your nose when he yelped out loud as his mashed potato was too hot. And you kindly offered to finish it for him after knowing that he can’t have dairy products. Changbin’s managed to get you out of the house every weekend even when it’s a simple trip to the mall and whereas, Jaemin makes you feel more of a voiceless being when he continuously brings up one topic after another at the literal speed of light. You almost miss how you can just throw out the most random sentence without being afraid of someone judging you. 

Clearly, Jaemin isn’t the one to blame here. 

Admittedly, it’s just a ‘you’ problem. 

And even more admittedly, it’s just because Na Jaemin is being himself, and will always be himself. He’s never gonna be, and will never be Seo Changbin. 

Seriously, what’s up with Changbin taking over your mind today?

“Do you perhaps wanna watch a movie after dinner— you’re not listening to me, aren’t you?” Jaemin stops mid-sentence when he catches your dreamy expression, for the fifth time that night. 

You quickly regain your composure and sigh in defeat. “Fine, you got me. Again.” Burying your face into your palms, you’re practically choking on your own frustration because you don’t wanna lash out on him just because he’s not your type. “Ugh, I’m sorry, okay? I’ve never been on a date with a stranger before. Who’d have thought talking on texts was so much easier?” 

Jaemin props his head on his hand and makes eye contact with you. He breaks it after a good five seconds to catch you off guard, slowly processing his current thoughts like a lawyer in court. “Let me guess, you’re in a long-distance relationship with someone but since they’ve been away for quite some time, you got bored. So that leads to you, drum rolls, hopping on Tinder to find a one night stand.” He closes in proudly, a triumphant smirk painted on his slightly chapped lips. 

For the first time after hours of dreading Minho to come and pick you up as soon as possible, you can finally let go and have a good laugh. It’s like the pressure of being on a date is gladly lifted off your shoulders and you feel like you’re just catching up with an old friend. Which is weird because Changbin— Would it kill to stop thinking about Changbin for once in your life you dumbhead?

“And how did you know that?” You smile at Jaemin, deciding to focus on him for the rest of the night so that he doesn’t think you’re disrespecting him. A date is still a date. Even when the feelings aren’t mutual, the amount of respect should be.

He slowly takes a sip of his water and chews on his steak after. “Not to be creepy but when you went to use the restroom, a notification showed up and I saw your lock screen. He looks like one of those hot SoundCloud rappers who manages to stay anonymous under their stage name even when they’re mad famous. You know, cool people making dope music without being too problematic like ‘real’ celebrities.” Jaemin says it with such admiration you’re nearly more than ready to rant about how talented of a music prodigy your best friend is. But for the sake of him being your best friend, you’re not gonna do that. Yet. 

“We’re not dating, just childhood best friends.” 

He wiggles his eyebrows at you with mischief laced in his brown eyes. “You have a thing for him then. Aha! I knew it! All best friends are obligated to be together, it’s an unwritten norm of the universe.” Wow, just when you thought that no one would know about your feelings for Changbin other than your annoying, chaotic friend group. 

“In my defense, he was the one who set that photo as my lock screen.” You grunt under your breath but don’t even try to hide it. “I shouldn’t have swiped right.”

“Be grateful that you did.” Jaemin inhales the last bits of his dish with satisfaction, dabbing the sauce on his lips away with a napkin. “Because not only am I paying for the meal, I’d love to meet up again to hear you ramble about the boy on your phone. As friends. Also because you totally saved my lactose intolerant ass back there.” He declares loud and clear, smiling from ear to ear. 

You roll your eyes at him in slight annoyance. “Fine, but I’m paying for the movie tickets.”

Jaemin extends his fist. “Frozen 2? I know a place that’s having it tonight.”

“You got it, broski.” You chuckle and bump your fist with his while your heart is yelling at you to get the fuck out of this restaurant because you’re about to suffocate yourself with the amount of painstakingly awkward silence that this place possesses. 

Before you even know it, you’re walking out of the Hilton Hotel with an empty bucket of popcorn in your arms as Jaemin hogs two cups of Coke which are left with nothing but ice cubes right beside you. It’s like the whole being too cautious thing that’s been driving you insane has disintegrated into literal dust. Watching a movie with Jaemin feels like you’re babysitting your non-existent little brother while your parents are out of town and Minho is bar-hopping with the guys. Except for the fact that he gave you his hoodie because the cinema’s ACs are ridiculously cold as always. But it’s really nice, actually, because although the date didn’t turn out how you expected it to be, you did make a new friend. 

That rarely happens so you’re definitely giving yourself a pat on the shoulder. 

“The plot was kinda messy, don’t you think?” You ask him after tossing the bucket into a nearby trash can. 

Jaemin nods in acknowledgment and swings an arm around your shoulder. “It was all over the place, I’m with you all the way. And Elsa in that purple dress too? Yikes.”

You laugh with him, continuing the conversation with much less ‘watch what you’re saying’ and more ‘actually enjoy the date for the sake of it’ until you both reach the parking lot. “Drive safe and text me when you’re home, okay?” You remind him like the bossy person that you are as you pull out your phone from your purse. 

“You’re not my mom.” Jaemin snickers and his fingers hover above the tips of his keys inside his pocket. “Wait, your brother’s picking you up right?”

[9:35 p.m.]

y/n | hey, pick me up already. 

meanhoe | sorry sis, I’m a bit occupied over here. 

meanhoe | just call a ride home or smth.

[9:36 p.m.]

y/n | LEE MINHO ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

y/n | do you have the slightest idea about how many serial killers are lurking the streets, waiting for girls like me to fall right into their traps?

meanhoe | paranoid.

[9:37 p.m.]

meanhoe | let me tell you about how Han Jisung is taking a nap on my lap rn.

meanhoe | in graphic details.

[9:38 p.m.]

y/n | or I can just tell you about that time when mom and dad found you right next to a trash can on a sidewalk instead? 

y/n | it’s a very lovely story, trust me.

[9:39 p.m.]

meanhoe | ugh, what do you want?

y/n | nothing, Jaemin will drive me home.

y/n | goodnight.

[ 9:40p.m. ]

meanhoe | hey! I can make it up to you still!

y/n | I SAID GOODNIGHT.

You toss your phone back into your purse in pure disappointment. And with a prolonged sigh, you turn to Jaemin. “He abandoned me. Can you give me a ride home?”

He cackles at the scowl on your face and gestures you towards the seat next to the shotgun window. “Hop in.”

four.

“Wow,” Minho utters. “Just wow.” 

“It’s you again, why am I still surprised at this point?” 

He grins coyly and slips the keys into his pocket before running a hand through his bed head. Chuckling creepily, he watches as Changbin struggles to roll both of his suitcases across the bumpy surface of your front porch. “You left my sister crying with a bucket of ice-cream for Italy. How does that feel? You know, to finally be free from her ?” Minho inquires with an amused smile. “But on a serious note, she missed you, very much so. Did you even tell her about this?

“Minho, it’s supposed to be a surprise. Do I have to translate ‘surprise’ into whatever the fuck of a language that all snakes speak in general or you’re fully capable of doing that yourself? Also, it would be so incredibly kind and generous of you to actually comprehend my messages.” 

Minho chuckles and leans back against the wall comfortably. “Why not move back here then? Aren’t you done with your degree already? Or did Italy blind you with their good food and hot girls? You’re quite qualified to be my roommate.” He drags the last part. “Just wish you didn’t have to give me that attitude whenever I’m trying to start a civil conversation.” 

Changbin scoffs at him, clearly uninterested. And Minho’s definition of a civil conversation just concerns him even more. “I have enough qualities to be your roommate? Let me guess, smart ?” 

“Secretly a nerd.” Minho tuts. 

Changbin shoots him a dirty look. “Composed?”

“I’d say indifferent and stubborn.” 

“Brave enough to kill some stupid bugs for you?” 

Minho rolls his eyes. “More like painstakingly reckless.”

“You literally fell off the couch when Jeongin accidentally popped a balloon with his pen.” 

A smirk blooms on his lips. “But you gave him an entire lecture about why he shouldn’t bring pens to a party. Inspiring leadership.”

“Looks good in black?”

Minho looks unimpressed. “Everyone looks good in black you moron.”

“Then why the fuck are you trying to pull me into your system?!” Changbin throws his hands upwards, a frustrated groan escapes his lips. “You know I hate commitments. They give me anxiety. Especially when it involves you.” Which is not entirely correct because he did have a date last week or should have had a date last week. He was so close to pissing himself in the middle of a Michelin rated restaurant. But lucky him, his date flaked out on him before he could start having a full-on mental breakdown inside the restroom. 

A glint of curiosity ignites in Minho’s orbs. “Because you absolutely have no life whatsoever.” He starts calmly, going back and forth within the limited space of the hallway. “And don’t even get me started about your love life. It’s drier than Chan’s attempt at making macarons. Oh and remind me, did your goldfish die or did you kill him? Did he die or was he killed? Or was it both?” He taunts further, and further, and further until he’s hanging on that weird borderline between having Changbin lunge at him like a predator and succeeding at luring him back to Seoul. “I’m being as kind as my mind can possibly allow without a drop of caffeine so you better take it while you’re at it.”

Changbin is fuming with nothing but pure anger. He’s so fucking close to crush every single strand of liveliness left inside of the man in front of him until he turns white like a complete ghost. But he’s also convinced that Lee Minho is just a non-biological heir of the Angel of Death. Hence, getting rid of him is impossible. “Come over here and make me.” Crossed arms, he’s determined to not leave the city without at least throwing a punch at Minho’s ridiculously perfect face. 

“What are you? Four?”

Changbin stops himself from throwing hands at him and turns on his heels. “Nothing, it’s just that I don’t really like you all that much.” He makes his way to the kitchen, tossing his black beanie onto the counter. 

“Yeah, me neither.”

He protests triumphantly. “See?”

“Listen up you man child,” Minho grits and walks behind him through the living room, passing by a hungover Jisung with Woojin on top of him at an unusually persistent pace that seems to cover up the bubbling anger inside his stomach. “Would you stop what you’re doing and listen to me when I’m trying to prove my own point? I’ve known you for all my life—“

Changbin interrupts him. “Those times when you passed by me at the library and made fun of me for studying for finals in high school? Doesn’t count.”

Minho hides behind a rather cheerful voice, his stare colder than an ex-wife’s fighting for custody over her child in court. “That doesn’t matter! Y/N went out with some guy last night and even let him drive her home. I don’t even know if she’s okay or not since she wouldn’t pick up for the past hour. And I just can’t let those two idiots at home alone, completely unaware of their surroundings.” Changbin shoots him a weird look and he quickly brushes it off with a click of his tongue. “Don’t ask.” 

Changbin chokes on the can of Coke that he just grabbed from the fridge. “Wait, so she’s not here?”

“She moved in with Yeji months ago in an apartment near college, didn’t she tell you ?”

“No?” He raises a brow. “And what date? Who? How? Where? When?” 

Changbin’s starting to panic a little bit because if you were to be on a date, you’d most likely hide in the restroom just to text him for a good five minutes. Very much like him. Anyway, he’s also quite concerned about the fact that you didn’t reply to Minho’s texts all morning. Maybe he’s overthinking again but he knows that you’ve forced yourself to be a morning person even when it’s the holiday since you don’t wanna dread bringing back your old habits when a new semester hits. 

Minho drums his fingers against the dining table. “Who? Some boy called Jaemin? How? Tinder. Where? The Hilton Hotel. When? Last night until almost 10 I believe.”

Now Changbin’s fully entered panic mode because since when did you even use Tinder? And not tell him about it too? What if you’re already kidnapped and sold to some creepy people from China to make profits off your organs? “That’s it. Give me her address, I’ll go.” He drops his backpack onto the floor and grabs his coat, downing the last few drops of his beverage in a rush. As soon as Minho texts him your address, Changbin dashes straight through the front door like a tornado to the point that it has Woojin facepalming himself on Minho’s dad’s old carpet. 

“My job here is done.” Minho cracks his knuckle and takes a seat at his family’s dining table, picking up his phone only to receive a text from you. 

[8:23 a.m.]

y/n | ugh, is your friend gonna come over to pick up the speaker or what? it’s been fifteen minutes.

y/n | and what’s his name again? Jackson?

meanhoe | yeah, he’ll be there in ten.

meanhoe | eat a chill pill sis, I’m in charge.

five.

You frown furiously at the series of messages that you and your brother have been sending each other for the past ten minutes. Something smells fishy, and you can already see that stupid, self-indulging smirk spread across his face without him being right next to you. But then again, no one really knows what’s going on inside that disturbing glimpse of thing called ‘a brain’ inside his head because magically, and spontaneously, everything works out whenever he’s in charge. 

Except when he’s in the kitchen with Jisung and Hyunjin as his cannot-be-anymore-useless vice-cooks, aka when they’re holding onto each other for dear life the moment Minho cracks an egg onto a heated pan with oil boiling along the edges. 

“Ugh, Yeji! It’s supposed to be your turn to do laundry, you ass.” You repeatedly hit your roommate’s sleeping figure with a pillow, slightly mad at the fact that she’s still in bed when you’re done with grocery shopping. Sometimes you wonder if her only talent is sleeping through earthquakes. Maybe that’s how she has mad stamina and can still do a decent thirty minutes of cardio after dance practice. 

Yeji mumbles nonsense into her pillow and slaps your hand away only to bury herself under the wool blanket again. It takes every strand of energy left inside of you to pull the soft fabric over her head and onto the floor it goes. “Why are you making such a fuss out of me forgetting to do laundry ?” She sits up grudgingly like a zombie digging itself up from its own grave and yawns obnoxiously. 

You blink numerous times at her in disbelief. “Uhm, hello? Because I don’t have anything to wear? And also, FYI, it’s almost ten, okay? Wake up Sleeping Beauty. Prince Charming isn’t available today.” 

“Shut the fuck up!” She whines loudly before dropping onto her backside in defeat. “You’ve never binge-watched any dramas before, you’d never get it.” Hey, it’s not your fault she chose to stay up until 3 a.m. for a stupid drama. You’re not gonna tolerate her complaints about migraines after having lunch, not this time. 

“Besides,” She glances at you before throwing an arm over her head dramatically. “You look good in that hoodie, where did you get it?” 

You grab various pieces of clothing dangling off of her bed and her beige-colored computer chair as you ponder about your life choices. “Na Jaemin, who else? God, and I need to give it back to him too.” 

Yeji teases. “Are you making an excuse to meet him again?”

“We didn’t click, that’s all I have to say.” A smirk finds its way to your lips. “I basically adopted him now, so yes, I am making an excuse to meet him again because a mother has every right to see their son.” 

“You’re so weird.” Your roommate purses her lips before turning her back against you. 

You scroll through your feed in pure boredom. “What do you want for lunch? Wait, it’s too early for lunch, what about brunch?”

“Anything will do.” Yeji shrugs, not even trying to get out of bed when it’s already 9 a.m. So naturally, you’re already facepalming yourself at her questionable sleeping habits. 

Now, where is that guy Jackson?

As if on cue, your doorbell rings. You’re dead meat to me. You roll up your sleeves and put on your ‘formally serious’ face before grabbing the tote bag right beside your couch. Without even checking who’s there through the peephole, you swing the door open in a rush. “Look, Jackson, I’m really not in the mood to invite you inside for tea nor biscuits so just take the speaker and—“

“Y/N, I don’t need a speaker, stop bombarding me with information that my brain can’t even comprehend. And who the hell is Jackson?” Changbin puts his hands up as if you’re holding him at gunpoint. And you almost laugh out loud at how he looks like he just found out Trump is president, he— wait, Changbin’s here?

You subconsciously drop the speaker without noticing that you might break something before Jackson actually gets here. “You came back?!” Your mouth automatically goes agape, utterly speechless. 

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” He chuckles when you crash yourself into his embrace as an attempt to hide your teary eyes. Meeting Changbin in person again feels like a rollercoaster full of mixed emotions, you have so many things to say but nothing comes out right. Maybe it’s best if you just keep your mouth shut for the time being. 

And thank God he still smells the same and doesn’t shower himself in ridiculously expensive cologne like other guys because you’d disown him if he starts smelling like a Tommy Hilfiger store. Changbin gently wraps his arms around your waist, rocking you from side to side. “You missed me that much huh?” Suddenly tongue-tied, he’s officially lost the ability to form a proper sentence when you hold onto him so tightly, so desperately. 

When you pull away, you don’t even know what to say when so many things are running through your mind at the speed of light. After all those years, he’s changed. Yes, people change. But Changbin changed, for the better. He looks impeccable even in a simple black t-shirt with a grey bomber jacket thrown over his figure. Wait, has he been hitting the gym? You swear, last time you saw him he was five times smaller. His jawline can now cut you too apparently. Years of friendship and you just found out your best friend is an actual health freak. 

“As if..” You sniffle into the crook of his neck, tears continuously streaming down on your cheeks. Eventually, you give in. “Fine, I did miss you.” 

Changbin laughs wholeheartedly, sending vibration throughout your entire body. “Missed you too, Beastie.”  And it’s there again, that fuzzy feeling tickling the pit of your stomach. It feels wrong, and your heart knows that too well. To the point that you’re afraid of your own feelings for him, that you’d hurt him, or he’d hurt you. You just can’t decide if confessing to him is worth the risk of destroying your friendship forever. But it’s most definitely not. Maybe it’s better this way. 

“Wait,” Changbin scrunches his nose and pulls away. “You smell like a guy.” Then something rings a bell inside of him. “Right, you went on a date with some cute boy without telling me? Explain yourself.” 

You scratch the nape of your neck sheepishly, slightly embarrassed. “Well… long story short, I got bored and downloaded Tinder. He was cute, but not compatible.” 

“There you are, what took you so long?” Yeji pops her head out of her bedroom, almost giving you a heart attack. 

You toss her a look. “What do you mean ‘what took you so long? Did you know? Again ?” And she nods apologetically. “Why the fuck do I feel so left out right now? Are you guys setting me up for something sketchy? Who’s in charge?” 

“Your brother, obviously.” 

You step aside so that Changbin can walk into your living room before shutting the front door closed. “Zip it, he’s adopted.” 

six.

Kim Woojin, as always, throws his annual ‘welcome back’ BBQ party whenever someone returns from a long trip for a fairly long time. Of course, he would never leave Changbin hanging. 

Which, also means you’re obligated to accept the fact that he just single-handedly dragged you out of your apartment with the most minimal of physical effort. So now you’re stuck inside his stupid kitchen, with your siblings (no not Minho, not that heathen), potatoes. You look so incredibly alike your brother might actually be whatever with the harsh truth that you can’t stop taunting him about how he’s adopted. 

Anyway, because you’ve always been terrified about the thought of accidentally having your sleeves caught on fire, Chan just shooed you back inside to work on the potato salad. And the worst part of making a potato salad? Peeling the skin. Seriously, you’d marry someone who invented an automatic potato peeler, that’d be godsend privilege. 

The saying goes : ‘When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade’. Likewise, but in your case, it’s : ‘When life makes you cook, get yourself a best friend who’s good at it instead’. Problem solved. Changbin might not be as great as *snorts* Minho, but he did manage to survive multiple months in Italy without spending too much money eating out when he’s very, absolutely, entirely financially capable of doing that for the rest of his life. He appreciates home-cooked food because of the process, the time, the effort, the love that every family member (or one family member) put into the dishes. And it may not be something that’s Gordon Ramsay-approved, but gathering around at the same table gives people the chance to catch up, to communicate, to care more. 

And what does that mean? Well, that means when Changbin, fortunately, makes it out of the war zone in Woojin’s backyard where Hyunjin is chasing Jisung with a dead spider between his metal tong, he finds out that he just, in fact, got himself into another disaster. Bits of potatoes’ skin is everywhere, scattered randomly from the kitchen aisle to the wooden cutting board. Bottles of mayonnaise and mustard are lying lifelessly across the dining table, saucing dripping from the opened caps. And jars of different spices look like they just got dumped into one big bucket, mixed together, and then carefully divided them evenly into each one again. Changbin is utterly alarmed right now and he can’t decide whether he should be helping you or just run away. But since it’s you, he can’t simply turn on his heels and leave because chances are, you’re gonna fucking stab him in his sleep. 

“Woah, who did you kill ?” He gasps, taking slow strides toward your figure standing at the kitchen aisle. 

You blow a few strands of loose hair out of your face, crying dramatically. “My sanity, it’s long gone.” You tell him as you try to stir the mixture of mayonnaise, paprika, apple cider vinegar, celery seeds, mustard, and sweet pickle relish in a stainless steel bowl with a wooden spoon, trying hard not to ruin Jaemin’s favorite hoodie. “And if you’re not planning on giving me a hand, then the exit is right that way. No one’s stopping you.” 

Changbin shakes his head at you in disapproval for a hot minute before pulling your hair free from the loose bun, accidentally dousing himself in the more than familiar scent of your shampoo. Fresh, and a bit pepperminty, he missed this so much it’s starting to get creepy. Basically his heart just swells, but he’s gonna choose to be in denial like usual. “Better get your hair out of your face first.” He says and effortlessly puts your messy, black mop of hair into a high ponytail. It’s not like he hasn’t done this before because Changbin tends to play with your hair a lot while you’re both on a Netflix marathon. But this time, you didn’t know what it was, but the moment the tips of his fingers brushed past your bare skin, they sent electricity down your spine and goosebumps rose on your skin. The fact that your little heart feels like it’s running on a treadmill for hours doesn’t make it easier to deny how much he can affect you without even trying.

“Why are you still wearing that hoodie ?” Changbin points out, confused. 

You answer monotonously, still mad at your roommate. “Because Yeji forgot to do laundry. So I have nothing to wear.” You hate her even more now because she’s probably gonna be out and about, going to questionable parties with Ryujin until dawn and asking for a cup of water when she gets back home on your bean bag chair. “I’m gonna have to return it to Jaemin soon.” 

Changin snickers. “Yeah, you better.” He finishes chopping up the hard-boiled eggs, celery, sweet onions, and fresh dill, dropping the ingredients into the dressing that you just made. 

“So,” You walk over to the dining table to grab the bowl of chopped potato. “How did your date go? Was she cute or did she look like a potential serial killer? Wait, serial killers can look cute.” You shiver at the thought of losing your best friend in some foreign country because someone can literally be kidnapped in a span of fifteen to twenty seconds. So you don’t see the point of being ashamed about always being paranoid. 

Changbin helps you pour the dressing over the potato before stirring the goodness together with a wooden spoon. “Ah, that,” He scratches the nape of his neck sheepishly. “She’s okay I guess. But you never know, talking over text is always easier.” 

You decide to let Changbin finish up the dish and grab some paper towels to wipe down the table and counter. “So you guys never met up ?”

He looks hesitant to tell you. “Technically, we were gonna see each other every day because of the internship but I guess no? Our schedules aren’t exactly compatible. Maybe I’ll just ask her out again when I fly back.” 

You stop cleaning up the mess on the kitchen aisle and turn your attention onto your best friend. He’s nibbling on his bottom lips, guilt is evident in his eyes. 

“What internship?” You ask. 

seven.

Seo Changbin used to have ( and still has ) a soft spot for you. And everyone knows that all too well. 

He wasn’t kidding when he said that you’re his favorite girl. He wasn’t kidding when he said that he’d take a bullet for you. But you kinda wish that he was because falling in love with your childhood best friend just sounds so wrong on so many levels altogether. Jaemin night be right, it is written in the stars for some people to fall in love with their best friend but that life is not for you. There’s just something about the idea of Changbin and you as lovers that twists an immediate knot in your stomach. Sometimes you wish he doesn’t have to be so affectionate towards you so that you can give up on the one thing that’s holding you back : false hope. 

He would always drag you out of bed in the middle of the night to watch the stars and talk with him even when you guys were practically inseparable. Your group of friends constantly tells you that Changbin could never keep his hands to himself when it comes to you but realistically, he’s just a secretly clingy person who loves cuddling. But those little moments where you guys were sharing the same bed, snuggling into each other’s presence like it’s the last sense of comfort in the entire world were the ones you cherish the most. They can make you smile stupidly to yourself all day. 

And Changbin never failed to surprise you too. He once made the whole fancy breakfast in bed with flowers that only happens in movies and you couldn’t stop talking about it. Even ‘till this day, you still can’t shut up about it. He only brushed it off and told you that he wanted to spoil you since it’s your birthday but you took it as something much more than just a birthday present. Because those little actions of his are what set your heart on fire and you feel like it could combust anytime if he keeps looking at you so tenderly all the time.

Changbin isn’t a man of many words because he truly believes that actions speak louder than words. At least for him, his actions are much more powerful than his words. But that doesn’t mean his words never had any kind of effect on you. Because they did, greatly. You still remember how you’d always wake him up in the middle of the night because your stupid brain cells decided to give you a mental breakdown after bottling feelings up for so long. But Changbin didn’t just scold you for keeping everything to yourself, he did something else much more magical and much more comforting than any advice you could ever have. 

He’s written plenty of songs for you before, and you can still vividly hear the familiar melodies every now and then whenever you’re in a really dark place. 

It felt like a tight hug when you were all alone and in distress. But what sucks is that it makes you miss him even more. Where in the world is he? What is he doing? Does he have a decent life? Moreover, is he happy? You were always worried sick about Changbin because he’s that type of guy who works his ass off for things that he’s passionate about but he’d be willing to do something else for others because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Hence, upon hearing about him turning down an internship just to fly back, you didn’t know what to say or think. 

You yell at Changbin. “Are you out of your mind?!” 

He huffs in disbelief. “I’m a fully grown man who has every right to make my own decisions so I chose to visit my friends instead of torturing myself inside a studio. Yeah, sue me!”

“Do you have any idea how many opportunities and chances that internship would bring? There’s no need for you to do that just because of us!”

Changbin points out snarkily. “Well, you were the one who decided to call me at 3 a.m. every single day, complaining about your insomnia and shit.”

You gasp scandalously. “Why are you even saying that? It’s like you don’t even know me! I’m trying to put your benefits before mine, why is it so hard to understand that? Are you trying to say that I’m the bad guy in this conversation?”

“Maybe you are,” He says through gritted teeth. “Likewise, I’m trying to put my friends first instead of locking myself up within four soundproof walls twenty-four hours a day, five days a week, until spring break is over. You are being fucking ridiculous!” 

You’re slightly taken aback when Changbin had the audacity to say such things. Why is he still so fucking stubborn? “I’m the one who’s being ridiculous? Me trying to not get my best friend's talent wasted, me trying to not have my best friend make the rest of his break go wack because all we do here is apparently get drunk, eat, sleep, and repeat. That, is being ridiculous ?” You let out a humorless laugh. “Well, if I need to keep on doing that in order to keep you on track with your dream, then I fucking will.”

He hisses at you. “What are you? My mom? I’m a fully grown adult for fuck’s sake!” 

“Yes, I am technically your mom since the day you threw up on my dress in kindergarten. I even wiped your puke off of your face, you ungrateful brat.” 

“Uhm guys, you might wanna tone it down..” Felix tries to cool off the situation since he doesn’t really enjoy eating dinner while two people are continuously throwing daggers at each other with their eyes. 

Another thing, no matter how whipped you are for Seo Changbin, there’s still this little demonic part in your heart that screams to strangle the light out of his eyes every single day. Even back then, you guys bickered like there’s no tomorrow without a care in the world. Fortunately, your problems were always quick to be resolved because you just could never bring yourself to hate him even when you wanted to. He’s just that contagious, never fails to put a smile on your face nonetheless. 

So naturally, it’s ten minutes into the BBQ party in Woojin’s backyard and you’re more than ready to fight him. Metaphorically, not literally because you’re too utterly soft for him anyway. 

“Shh, shh,” Minho easily shushes Felix up with his index finger over his lips. “Lix, keep it down, the Petty Olympics is just getting started.” 

Jeongin purses his lips. “You’re such a snake, did you know that?” He’s obnoxiously chewing on the slices of grilled steak that Chan just took off the iron rack. Like Felix, he wishes to enjoy dinner in peace but that has not happened for quite some time and he’s already sick of it. 

Minho rolls his eyes at the younger boy with nothing but disgust in his eyes. “Wow, what a truly shocking revelation, Jeongin. It’s for the irony, sarcasm is needed in order for my joke to work.” He sips on the glass of whiskey in front of him like how he simply sips on his coworkers’ complaints about their relationships every morning. “Now run along, grab your monthly paycheck and buy yourself a sense of humor.” 

Jisung snickers. “Wow, is he mean today—“ 

You cut Jisung off unintentionally, huffing with such determination. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

Changbin says casually. “It’s not like I want to.”

“I will break you.” You give him your best death glare.

He tips his imaginary hat with a smirk tugged on his lips. “If that’s what makes you happy, then I certainly cannot wait for it, Little Mistress.”

eight.

It’s the second time you’re hanging out with Jaemin and still, you can’t bring yourself to develop any non-platonic feelings for him. Do you really want to date him? Not really. Again, he’s not a bad guy. In fact, girls can just pass by you both walking by the Han River and they’re already eyeing him up and down like an expensive piece of steak. 

Maybe it’s something about trying to push Changbin out of your mind for once in your life. Or it can be something about the fact that he actually has some kind of romantic interest in his Tinder date. Or you’re just being ridiculous and totally overthinking the situation. 

It’s sad, but you’ll have to accept it sooner or later. You see Jaemin as nothing but a friend, and a little brother because he’s funny, respectful, and everything you can ask for in a guy. But, at the end of the day, he’s just not Changbin. 

And although you’re madly in love with your best friend, it seems like Jaemin gets you and manages to keep your mind off of him for the day so that you don’t end up crying alone in one of the bathroom stalls. You can’t be any more thankful. 

“You seriously didn’t have to watch ‘Dolittle’ twice just because of me,” Jaemin tells you as you both stand at the front door of the movies, hugging his bucket of popcorn closer to his stomach. 

You smile at him. “Robert Downey Jr. is worth watching any movie twice. That’s why I’m still not over the Endgame depression phase because I may or may not watch it one too many times.” 

He rolls his eyes at you and proceeds to throw his garbage away. “Crybaby.” Then, he wraps his arm around your shoulder and walks you towards the entrance. “I had fun tonight. Thanks, Y/N, it means a lot. Should I walk you home?”

“I don’t see why you shouldn’t.” You answer cheekily. 

Jaemin teases, “Because your boyfriend might show up and punch me in the face?” 

“Shut up! He’s not my boyfriend!”

“Woah, I didn’t even say who it was. You’re so whipped for him.”

You elbow him in the stomach, earning a low grunt from him as a response. “I shouldn’t have given you your hoodie back. I should have burnt it or something.”

He wiggles his eyebrows at you, holding onto the paper bag that you brought tightly. “No, keep it if you want to. You look good in it.” 

Before you can even clap-back at him with a witty retort, your phone vibrates inside your pocket. “Sorry, someone texted me.”

[ 9:23p.m. ]

meanhoe | Y/N WHERE ARE YOU?!

meanhoe | SOMEONE BROKE INTO OUR HOUSE!

meanhoe | I’m upstairs rn, but there were some sketchy sounds earlier. I think they’re in our kitchen.

meanhoe | Bin’s still in the living room!

meanhoe | COME HOME!!

Oh. My. God. 

nine.

“Changbin, pick up, pick up,” You murmur and keep pacing back and forth at your parents’ front porch, frantically fumbling with your phone in your hands. “Goddamnit just pick up!” You groan out of frustration when you can’t even open the door because it’s locked, and Changbin’s not doing a great job at responding to your calls either. Which can only mean one thing, he’s being held hostage inside along with your brother and the intruder’s probably confiscated their phones. 

You’d take a bullet for Changbin if that’s the last thing you could do for him. There are no words to fathom how important he is to you, so now instead of thinking of how to save his ass, you’re stupidly, foolishly thinking back to high school where he would always eat lunch with you whenever Minho’s too caught up with practice, where you both would lie under an ugly tree at the very back of your school’s enormous backyard, trying to do homework and dozing off five minutes after. Changbin’s been with you through thicks and thins, with all of your ups and downs. His lack of doubt for you was what helped you survive those horrendous years and you’ve decided that you’re not gonna let go of him, not in this life. 

Therefore, you’re about to do something dumb. That something is going to prevent your best friend from getting murdered. But the chances of getting your head blown into bits are undeniably high too. That wouldn’t matter now, would it? If the intruder dares to tick you off, he best believes that you’re gonna fucking take him down with you. 

Mustering all of the courage you have left, slowly, your fingers hover over the doorknob, the other on the wooden surface, ready to bang on it like a crazy person. You inhale sharply and close your eyes. 3..2..1..

The door suddenly swings open, causing you to stagger forward and your eyes widen in panic. “Y/N? What the hell?” Changbin catches you in time and frowns furiously at your soaked figure. Your hair and clothes are doused with rain, the tips of your fingers as cold as ice from staying outside for so long. You flutter your eyes open at his words, mouth grows agape when you find out that your current position can’t be any more awkward. 

Great, now what?

Wait, where’s the intruder? “Are you okay?!” You mindlessly throw yourself at him, holding onto him so tightly like he’s gonna disintegrate into thin air once you let him go. Blood is roaring inside your ears, your heart is picking up its pace as you have so many questions, so many things to say but.. he seems pretty okay? “Is Minho okay too? Where is he? Why didn’t you pick up my calls? Why was the door locked?” 

Changbin pulls away softly to prevent you from hearing his heart thumping vigorously inside of his rib cage, eyes as wide as a goldfish’s. “What? Minho’s downtown today to meet up with his old friend who’s studying abroad. Didn’t he tell you?” 

“No?” You knit your brows together and take a full ten seconds to process what just happened. Why do you feel like you just got played? 

He closes the door and walks you inside. “And why the hell do you look like a wet rat? Did you just walk home? Weren’t that Jaemin guy supposed to drive you instead?” You purposely ignore his questions and continue to piece the little amount of information that you have together. But once you throw a glance at your parents’ living room, you see a box of fresh, piping hot Hawaiian pizza with ‘Fast and Furious’ playing on the forty-eight inches TV. With that, everything makes sense. 

You ran home as fast as you possibly could, under the rain when it’s dark outside all alone and this is how your brother repays you? 

“Wow,” You utter, somewhat lightheaded. “I need to sit down.” You tell Changbin when he comes back with a white fluffy, towel. He clicks his tongue in annoyance, wordlessly bringing the towel to your head as an attempt to dry off your hair. You’re startled by his sudden affection, cheeks growing pink as you avoid eye contact. 

Changbin caresses your cheekbone gently as if you’re far too fragile for him to touch and you just play dumb by batting your eyelashes repeatedly to shake the droplets of rain away. He quickly snaps out of it, taken aback by his own action. “Would you care to tell me what happened before I put you on trial?” He says with his arms crossed.

Your blood slowly boils as you choke on your own exasperation.“Minho told me that someone broke into our house and basically held you hostage. So I rain-checked on Jaemin, ran home only to find you in one piece with a pizza while watching ‘Fast & Furious’.” You hide your face behind your palms in sheer embarrassment as Changbin cackles his ass off in his annoyingly adorable laughter that makes you crack up every time. 

He throws his head back and continues to laugh wholeheartedly, holding onto his stomach for dear life. “He got you good, wow. So much for supporting his sister’s second date. I’m sure he just wants to make sure that you’re home before twelve.” 

“HE COULD HAVE JUST PICKED ME UP HIMSELF! HELLO?” You throw your hands in the air, huffing. You swear to God, Minho’s dead meat to you tomorrow morning. Your brother knows your feelings for Changbin all too well and he’s just doing everything he can to kick Jaemin out of your love life but the irony here is Jaemin was never there in the first place. But, Minho’s an evil mad genius so he still succeeded in pushing you back to Changbin when you’re trying to avoid him the most. Props to him, you’re now stuck inside a house with your best friend because your parents are currently going on vacation in Bora Bora. 

That wouldn’t be a problem unless you’re madly in love with him. But you are, and it sucks. 

You exclaim, smacking Changbin’s arm, causing him to whine loudly. “Would you stop laughing? I was scared that you’re gonna get murdered!” 

In a split second, he pulls you flushed against him, rocking you back and forth as he ruffles your hair. When the vibration of his chuckle emits from his chest just makes your heart skip a beat. Changbin��s never been the cheesy, romantic type like Hyunjin but sometimes he does these things that just messes up your heart more as if it’s not already all over the place. 

“Come on, Beastie, go change your clothes. I wouldn’t wanna cuddle with a sick person.” 

ten.

One shower and five minutes later, you’re on the sofa right beside Changbin with your head rested comfortably on his shoulder. The first episode of ‘The Umbrella Academy’ is blaring clamorously on your dad’s TV as your eyelids grow heavy, hanging on the edge of shutting before your favorite character even pops up. 

Changbin notices your sleepiness and pulls the wool blanket closer to your body, high enough to cover the rest of your shoulders as you snuggle into the crook of his neck. He pouts at the box of pizza and two empty bottles of Henny before playing with your hair, braiding a small section of it in boredom. He’s definitely not the type to rewatch any shows but since you’re just so pumped for the second season, you insisted that you two should binge-watch season one all over again. Obviously, he doesn’t see the point because he already knows everything, how does rewatching it has anything to do with getting him ready for the next season? Besides, you’re already falling asleep when it’s only ten minutes into the episode. 

But is Changbin gonna let you sleep in peace just like that after all those years of you waking him up at an ungodly hour? Nope. 

“Hey,” He nudges you with his elbow. “They said there wouldn’t be a second season.” 

You jolt up from your sleepy state, eyes shooting open in utter surprise and disappointment. “Wait what?! Why not?!” You cry out dramatically, hands batting in midair like a madwoman as if they’re looking for something to hold onto. Soon enough, you plop yourself back onto the couch in defeat, letting the alcohol take over your entire body. You can already feel it kicking in as your limbs grow lighter and so does your mind. Gosh, you just wish you weren’t so lightweight. 

Changbin chuckles at you, caressing your hair softly. He pulls you closer to him by your shoulder and takes in your scent like it’s the last sense of comfort on Earth. “You’re so cute when you’re drunk, did you know that?” He studies your features closely, quickly realizing how much he must matter to you for you to show this vulnerable side to him so casually. Giddiness is an understatement for the way that his heart just beats ten times faster, the way his arms hold you close so gently but so tightly at the same time. In this cracked darkness with the insufficient source of light from the TV screen, you’re so beautiful it takes the breath right out of his lungs. You seem too serene to be true, eyes closed, lips slightly agape it makes him wonder how it feels to seal his with yours. 

As if on cue, your favorite character appears on time and you swat the sleepiness away, pointing at the screen with half-open eyes. “Five! He’s so cute, can I adopt him, please?” You giggle and show him those infamous puppy eyes. Changbin can never resist it’s actually frustrating. 

“Yes, you can adopt a serial killer who knows how to travel through time, absolutely.” Changbin facepalms himself. “Honestly, what do you even see in him?” 

“He’s smart and funny, and a total badass. I like how he never sugarcoats things and stays true to himself. But, he also puts others before himself without expecting them to do the same thing back. His actions speak louder than his words because there are countless times where he saved his siblings although he talks to them as if he sees them as nothing more than a bunch of assholes. I admire him in so many ways although he’s just a fictional character. And you know why?” You cock your head sideways, leaning closer. “Because he kinda reminds me of you.” 

Changbin tenses up at the last part. “W-What?” 

The ‘sober Y/N’ would never be brave enough to tell him what you’re planning on saying next. “I love you, Bin. I know that I might not act like I give a fuck, but I genuinely care about you. You mean the world to me.” You blurt mindlessly, hiccuping into his ears. “I really do love you. I just never got the courage to say it.” You hum and toppling over his figure on top of the couch, your legs straddling his. 

“We can’t.” Changbin places his index finger on your lips to stop you from decreasing the distance. “You’re not thinking straight right now.” 

You pull back, frowning. “Why? Because I’m not sober? What do my feelings for you have anything to do with alcohol?” You’re not mad, but rather curious. Either way, you can’t seem to get mad at Changbin for more than ten seconds. 

“I- I don’t wanna hurt you.” He stutters and stops as he sees the heartbroken look in your eyes. It hurts even more because deep down, the sober part in you knows that you’d never fathom enough courage to actually tell him how you feel. And you also know that you’ve just potentially fucked up more than ten years worth of friendship. Changbin’s warm brown eyes stare at you with nothing but pure sincerity. “It’s like I’m taking advantage of you in this kind of state. It’s not right. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” He brushes your hair out of your face and sighs. 

“Bin, you respect me like no one else does. You know it. I know it. We know it. You’re my best friend.” 

“That’s the problem.” He pulls you closer while rubbing little circles on your back. “Promise me that we’ll never change, yeah?” 

You wrap your hands around his neck, a tear threatening to fall from the corner of your eye. “Yeah..promise.” 

“Y/N, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He reassures you as a confirmation, standing up from the couch that he’s been occupying for too long. You keep your gaze low, unable to meet his eyes as you’re ashamed of your own action. You shouldn’t have done that. What were you thinking for fuck’s sake?

Changbin turns off the TV before guiding you towards the stairs in the dark, holding onto your waist tightly enough so that you won’t slip. “Don’t blame yourself on this, okay?”

You voice quietly, almost a whisper. “Okay.” 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

eleven.

That night, you held onto Changbin like he’s the last thing you’re ever gonna see although you knew too well that it’s meaningless. What’s the point anyways? He just slapped your confession away and that alone was enough for you to understand that he sees you as nothing more than a friend. However, it’s still better than being stuck in that weird gray area that just keeps messing with your mind. You wouldn’t want to get in his way either. So when Changbin tried to peel your hands away from his torso gently in the middle of the night, your eyes remained closed as you rolled on the other side of the bed. 

When you woke up in the morning, he was already gone. 

It’s like he’s never been there all of those years as if he’s just an illusion that your delusional self made up to comfort yourself when things get hard. All of his belongings were nowhere to be found, his bed in the guest room was neatly made, something that he’s never done before. Changbin left no traces, no notes, no messages, no nothing like it’s a natural implement for ‘Don’t bother looking for me, I’m not gonna come back’. But to you, it feels more like ‘You fucked up our friendship, Y/N. I will never speak to you again’. 

Losing a best friend of a lifetime is way worse than going through a breakup. But it hurts more when you’ve unintentionally developed feelings for him when you know too well that it’s not right. It’s not right. And you seriously screwed up. You just hurt the one and only person that’s so incredibly close and special to your heart. Therefore, you’re distraught, unable to do anything right for some of the following days. Utterly destroyed, you can’t seem to stop blaming yourself for what happened. 

Changbin’s done so much for you and you can’t be any more grateful to have him in your life. There was this time where you totally lashed out on him because you were just having a ‘bad day’. He didn’t even get mad at you, he never gets mad at you. Instead, Changbin let you lock yourself up in your room for an hour until he came back with a box of chocolate and flowers. Everything fell right back into its place again and you really don’t know what you did to deserve him. He always goes out of his way, prioritizing others’ benefits rather than his own. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone at all because, in your heart, you know that he can be hurt easily too. 

So it’s no shocker that you’re madly in love with him. You like how he smiles and looks at you like you’re the only person that’s existing in this celestial sphere. You like the sound of his laughter because it reminds you of Spongebob sometimes, it’s ridiculously adorable in the best way possible. You also like how he clings onto you and lets you be the big spoon whenever he’s having a long day, you can’t stop smiling knowing that he finds comfort in your presence. 

The only flaw about him is that he’s all about that healthy life, which is good for him but you’re not adapting that any time soon. And he doesn’t talk about himself enough as he’s always used to listening to others’ problems instead. He’s flawsome, but you’re willing to embrace it all. Yes, as cheesy as it sounds, you love all of him. 

Just because he’s Seo Changbin. 

You stay up for many days, thinking an awful amount and flashbacking to when you’re on top of him, staring at him so tenderly as those idiotic words slipped out of your lips. All of because of one single beer. You just wish you could take it all back. If so, maybe you wouldn’t have lost the person you care about the most. 

“No, she won’t eat no matter what I say.” You can hear Yeji’s voice echoes from the living room as you throw an arm over your eyes. “I don’t think you should see her right now, not when she’s on the verge of breaking down every two seconds.” You don’t even have to look to know that your brother’s outside, probably worried sick about you. Minho might not be the type of person to show affections on a regular basis, but he genuinely cares about the people around him. He just doesn’t know how to express that he cares. 

The front door closes with a small ‘click’, making you jolt up from your bed. Your roommate pushes the door to your bedroom open and runs a hand through her hair. She practically grimaces at the current state of your room : curtains closed, clothes scattered all over the place with you still in your PJs. It’s funny because normally, you’re the one who complains whenever she’s being messy, now Yeji has the perfect reason to pay back. “Jesus Christ,” She frowns when her hands open the beige-colored curtains. “Get yourself together, will you?”

“Leave-me-alone.” You hiss at her like a snake when the light comes flooding in, blinding your eyes in the process. “What do you want? Am I not depressed enough to be at peace?”

She shakes her head and sits down next to your reclined form on the bed, a hand finds its way to your back. “No, you’re just in denial.” Yeji pulls your figure closer, embracing you with as much sincerity that she can muster. She might as well have you scream at her for forgetting to do laundry and waking up late rather than seeing you barely alive like this. If this goes on for too long, you might end up in the ER. And she can care less about whatever you’re planning on doing next because clearly, you’re not emotionally stable enough to make your own decisions right now. 

You look down. “About what?”

“About the fact that Seo Changbin likes you too.” She says softly. “Only a dumbass can’t see that he’s completely head over heels for you.”

You chuckle dryly. “He’s not, he probably hates me.”

“He never hated you, he never hates you, and he will never hate you.” Yeji sighs as you snuggle closer to her chest. “Why would you think that Changbin hates you?” 

Your eyes widen in terror as the night before when he left replays in your head over and over again. The more you think about it, the more you wanna kick yourself for not controlling our own feelings. Three words and your best friend’s gone. He was right, you guys could never, you weren’t thinking straight. Even down to that moment, Changbin put you before him and treated you with nothing but respect. “Because I ruined our friendship. Things are never gonna be the same again. I shouldn’t have fallen for him, I’m so stupid.” You let out an audible groan and bury your face into your palms. 

Yeji peels your hands away and forces you to look at her. “I don’t see why falling for Seo Changbin is considered stupid. You see things in him that no one else does, and you even had the courage to confess how you truly feel, even when it’s because of a bottle of Henny. Not everyone can accept that because people are cowards when it comes to commitment and their own feelings.” She keeps looking you dead in the eye as if she’s testing you. “Look, even if Changbin doesn’t feel the same way. He can never hate you.”

“And why should I believe you?” 

Your roommate laughs in disbelief, shaking your shoulder forcefully. “Are you blind? Do you even hear yourself right now? Haven’t you seen the way that he looks at you, eyes sparkling like puppies and all? If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. Even if it’s not the love that you wanted him to return, he still loves you as a friend. He just ran away because, well, he’s human too. He might need some time to himself and make up his mind.” 

You stare into the distance this time, eyes empty. “True love doesn’t count if it’s not returned, don’t you agree?” 

Yeji rolls her eyes at you, she looks like she’s about to personally drag your ass across the planet, straight to Italy just to make up with Changbin. “Oh-my-god, you’re impossible! Of course, it counts! So what, you’re telling me that your feelings for him after all these years would mean nothing if he doesn’t say those three words back? I know that you’re sad and angry about what happened, but I think it’s much better than bottling everything up all to yourself. You were brave for doing that, Y/N.”

Your lips stay sealed as you decide to listen to her lecture obediently like a child. “Do you think Changbin would want to see you like this? No, no one wants to see you all depressed and miserable. Do you have any idea how worried Minho is? Have you checked the notifications on your phone? It’s not like you can’t move on with life without Changbin, you can and you will if that’s what you have to do.” 

“So..?” 

“Are you gonna step up and get your life back again or what?”

You groan internally, because gosh, you hate it whenever she’s right. 

twelve.

From then on, Changbin’s like a phantom in your life, not because he’s constantly popping out of nowhere to scare the living daylight out of you, but because he’s constantly on your mind. Everything feels a little bit emptier without him. You don’t have to worry about having cilantro in your daily meals because he’s not there to complain about it. And there’s no longer a random cup of chai tea in the fridge on Sunday mornings because he can’t buy you one anymore. 

But at the same time, everything reminds you of him. Like how his pairs of designer shoes aren’t laying around at your front door, how his favorite hoodies aren’t being forgotten at your place intentionally, and how the Stitch stuffed animal he gave you last year still reeks off his significant scent. Everything gives you a hard time to finally let him go, but ultimately, you know that you’ll pull through. And you did. 

You move on with a college degree waiting for you at the end of this dark, bumpy road. Changbin, on the other hand, you can’t say much because his SoundCloud account is currently empty. He deleted every single song, every mixtape, every demo possible as if he’s trying to wipe his existence out of your life completely. Which makes it more difficult for you to muster up some courage and reach out to him again. 

It’s almost a year, and you wish he could have just given you a sign about whether he’s fine with being friends or not. But as always, leaving notes is definitely not his department. The thing is, you feel like you both didn’t just grow apart. You also grew up. 

“Y/N, did you ask me to go to the movies just because you didn’t feel like studying for finals?” Jaemin nudges you with his elbow and you smack his arms in return. Okay, technically you did grow up but old habits die hard, and you’re still procrastinating. Nothing new, but the occasional non-dates with Jaemin somehow helped with the aching part in your heart. You can’t say that he’s your new best friend because gosh, no one could ever replace Changbin. But ever since you found out that you guys go to the same college, you kept running into him on campus. Hence, hanging out with him is practically unavoidable. 

You laugh, letting him swing an arm around your shoulders. “Nope, it’s because I love hanging out with you.”

“Does that naturally imply as you love me?” He grins coyly before approaching your car at the very end of the parking lot. You’ve talked about this before. ‘Love’ is an overstatement for the love that you have for Jaemin. Of course, you love him, just not in a romantic way and he accepts that. Although he does sometimes pull you in as a stunt just to get a discount for buying a couples’ combo. You let him, only because you’re both broke college students who are dreading your own student’s loans. 

“Sure, I just love you so much I can’t even bring myself to say it without doing this.” You slowly feed his ego and your right hand quickly grabs the right side of his ears, dragging him into the driver’s seat of your car. Jaemin stops wincing once you let him go, pouting when you enter through the back door. “Serves you right.” You scoff, throwing him the key to start the engine. 

He rubs his now swollen, red ear in pain, whining out loud like a kid that’s not allowed to buy popcorn when their parents bring them to the movie theatre. “This is domestic violence, I’m suing.” He complains but still hits the gas and starts backing out of the overpacked parking lot. People go wild during the weekends. That’s why you’re letting him drive because you suck. 

You smile satisfactorily. “Ah, enslaved child labor at its finest.” If looks could kill, Minho would probably find your corpse in the car, limbs spread wide open because Jaemin is occasionally tossing you dirty looks through the rear-view mirror as he finds a way to hide a body while driving towards your neighborhood. 

When you get home, you politely offer Jaemin to stay for dinner but he said he’s got a date to catch up with so you just let him be. Yeji isn’t gonna be home until nine because of her shift at the café so you basically have the whole apartment to yourself until your roommate returns from work. 

Exhausted from spending all day on campus and going to the movies after, you quickly get rid of your long coat and plop yourself onto the couch. You waste absolutely no time and automatically hang yourself upside down on the cushioned surface while scrolling through your feed in boredom. You like to change up your position every ten minutes so that you feel less like a potato while your blood circulation isn’t gonna get blocked anywhere. 

The moment you’re about to accept a video call from Jisung, you’re interrupted with a rather strange notification. You decide to text him, saying that you’re busy with a presentation and open the email from an unknown email. The email doesn’t have any specific title and you don’t think it belongs to any of your classmates. However, there’s a file attached to it which makes you even more confused. Who’d send a random video to someone they don’t even know? What if this is some kind of trick that people use for human trafficking? Like once you tap on it, there’s an automatic tracker on your phone and soon enough, you’ll go missing. 

“for_you.mp4”

It makes your heart skip a beat as realization hits you like a truck. Deep down, you know, you know who it belongs to and you’re even more terrified to watch it. But you have to, you have to watch it. With a sharp inhale, your index finger trembles until it comes in contact with your screen, opening the file. 

“Is this thing on?” 

You immediately burst into tears as soon as Changbin appears. You’re stupidly, foolishly crying as he awkwardly adjusts the camera angle, checking himself in the monitor and runs a hand through his hair. Changbin’s wearing that one fitted black t-shirt that he probably bought in big bulks, warm brown eyes peeking through his messy bangs. He’s never looked better to the point that you’re tongue-tied, unable to scream even when you have so many questions, so many things to say. Yet only tears come streaming down your face. You missed him dearly, and here he is finally. 

“Y/N?” Changbin quirks a brow and smiles. God, you missed his smile too. “If you’re watching this video, don’t..post it on social media. It’s gonna be a real tearjerker.” 

You chuckle, wiping your tears away with the sleeves of your hoodie. He didn’t change, at all. “I don’t know if you can still forgive me for what I’ve done, but I still owe you an apology. I’m sorry for running away. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. I’m sorry for not treating you right. It’s just when you said that you loved me, it sparked so much skepticism inside my head that even I couldn’t understand what I was thinking. Next thing I know, I was out the door, straight to the airport. I was an asshole and I know that. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself right now because you did nothing wrong. In fact, there’s something that I’ve been wanting to tell you too. I can’t seem to be complete without you. You’re it. You’re my endgame.” 

When Changbin takes in a deep breath, so do you. You nervously scratch onto the black nail polish that’s starting to chip off on your pinkie, waiting for him as he fiddles with his fingers. Suddenly, he looks straight into the camera and laughs. “Why are you still here? You didn’t see the notification, did you?”

What notification?

Your trains of thoughts are once again canceled when your phone buzzes. You’ve just got a notification from an app that you barely touched since Changbin left. “SpearB just posted a new track. Check it out!”

“Neverending Story ( Demo ).” 

Faster than a tick of the clock, you start playing the track, fingers drumming impatiently on one of your throw pillows. “Be mine, yeah?” His raspy voice sounds ten thousand times more attractive because it’s been a while since you’ve heard it and chills run up your spine. Adrenaline is pumping through your veins, your heart hanging on the verge of exploding. The soft instrumental blends in with the piano in the background perfectly, drowning out every other sound in the entire world. But what throws you off is that Changbin starts singing. It’s the first time you’ve ever heard him sing and it’s truly breathtaking that you can do nothing more than sitting there with a hand over your mouth, letting the melody guide your mind. 

“Whenever you smile, whenever you struggle

I'll always protect you

For you,

I can even go against time

Just to appear in front of you

I believe, I believe

Even if the world changes

Can you promise that we won't?”

The first verse bleeds into the pre-chorus, then the chorus itself and Changbin starts rapping, spilling the feelings that he’s been struggling with saying out for you. Every word, every sound, every note hits differently and you feel like you’re already on cloud nine, drifting off into a daze. You can fully acknowledge and feel the ignited passion that he has for you even when he’s more than five thousand miles away, on the other side of the planet. But that’s all you need honestly because what more can you ask for? 

As if on cue, the song ends and there’s a knock at your door. 

Heat rushes up the bridge of your nose as you wobble towards the front door, head still slightly lightheaded from the mixture of emotions. You quickly fix your hair, straightening your hoodie and your toes curl from the nervousness. The moment you twist the doorknob, Changbin backs you up against the wall, shutting the door with his feet. He stares you down intensely, making you feel extremely small in comparison. But those eyes of his are filled with nothing but adoration for you and only you. “I’m in love with you, the same way that you meant it back then. I’ve been in love with you for even God doesn’t know how long. I booked a plane ticket and wrote the song as soon as that thought clicked in me. You’re all that I need. I want you to be my one and only. And I still want you back, so what do you say?” 

Your lips curl upwards softly into a smile. “You’re really outdoing yourself, aren’t you? I confessed to you when I was drunk and not only did you film a video, but you also wrote a song for me?”

“Only for you, Beastie.” Changbin chuckles and pulls you closer, sealing the gap between your lips. He’s done it, he did what he’s been wanting to for his entire life : to know what being in love actually feels like. His kiss isn’t even somewhere near as those movie stars’ that you both used to make fun of every weekend. It’s one that steeped into a passion that flickers at the very pit of your stomach, one that makes you feel like home, like he’s your safe place. Changbin’s said everything that he wanted but he kisses you as a silent promise that he will do stupid things just to be with you, to have you right by his side for the rest of his life. 

He’s the first to pull away, resting his forehead against yours as you both exchange shallow breaths. Smiling at you, Changbin can’t help himself but peppers small kisses all over your face from your forehead to the tip of your nose. 

Life likes to toss you around and fuck you up sometimes but somehow, magically it always puts everything back in its place. The amount of tears that you’ve shed feels like payment for what you’re holding in your arms right now but there’s nothing that you won’t do to be here, in his embrace. Technically, Changbin didn’t have to say those three words back and he only did because he could, not because he needed to. 

Even if he’s five thousand miles away, no one else is closer to your heart than he is. He loves you with all of the madness in his soul.

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