#midnight thougts

[niallermybabe]

Yk, if unicorns wear a cap then they have to turn the cap backwards so they can fit their horn throught it.

#midnight thougts

[risingwiththemoon]

Dieses Gefühl so fremd. So lange habe ich es nicht mehr richtig gefühlt. Es überfordert mich. Lärm in meinem Kopf. Wie kann ich bloß zur Ruhe kommen? Habe mir immer vorgestellt wie es ist dieses Gefühl wieder zu fühlen. Und jetzt wo es da ist, weiß ich nicht ob ich es öfter fühlen möchte. Es macht mir irgendwie Angst. Auch wenn es das ist was ich mir immer gewünscht habe. Insgeheim möchte ich diese Stille und Ruhe wieder. Und insgeheim macht mir der Gedanke Angst wieder zurück ins Leben zu finden. Noch einen Rückschlag verkrafte ich nicht…

#fighting #verzweifelt #dreaming #lebens zitat #teil meines lebens #leben #überfordert #overwhelmed #schlaflose nächte #schlaflos #müde #müde von allem #freundschaft #metal health #rückfall #rückschlag #gedanken im kopf #gedankenkarussell #late night thoughts #midnight thougts #thinking back

[wavygirl]

soltarte o no soltarte es mi disputa

#deep thougts #midnight thougts #quotes #una chica escribiendo #feid

[atapestryoflife]

If everything is asymmetrical then everything is symmetrical

#midnight thougts #late night thoughts #in the shower thoughts

[visd3stele]

there's always a show of humanity in the arena. the Games were elevated on the basis that humans are vile and will turn to being predatory animals capable of doing anything to defend themselves if cornered and threatened (it's the lesson dr. Gaul gives Coryo when she sends him after Sejeanus).

but, in all Games we've seen so far, there are proves against it. first, Katniss sings to Rue and makes her a bed of flowers, defying the Capitol. she refuses to kill untill she has to and defies the Capitol again by choosing death over killing Peeta. then Reaper tears down the flag and makes a graveyard for the fallen tributes out of it, a blanket to trade for food, a cape to show his defiance of the Capitol. Lucy Gray too decides to flip the finger on dr. gaul's believes. she stays with Jessup, singing to him, closing his eyes, lulling him to the sleep of death. she sings to the Capitol while snakes climb her body, sending a message of rebellion. they can't tame her. they can kill her bldy, but not her spirit. nor Katniss', nor Reaper's.

#book blog #movie talk #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #reaper ash #lucy gray baird #katniss everdeen #parallels #my thougts #3 am thoughts #3 am ramblings #thoughts at midnight #dr gaul #coriolanus snow

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Ok so I have had the self imposed misfortune of witnessing some of the "very missed the mark" takes on Nine or just the show's character portrayal in general and, how can someone be...so mISGUIDED. OUGH!!(snapcube sonic 06 voice)

I do realize that no one with these opinions is probably gonna read this (I mean. I am the Nine The Fox blog basically, what are you doing here if you hate the guy) and also won't change their minds but, I don't care. I'm not making this for those people, I just enjoy writing about this guy and been given the prompts to do so. You may enjoy my uncontrolled ~1,500 words long midnight rambling (yea that's like, a whole one-shot what the fucck)

I should wait until morning to edit this before posting but I just need this out there now I cannot argue with a tired self

> So as I've come to find out, people hate Nine because

A) no drip (he's 8, leave him alone <-summary of this whole end of year middle school essay btw)

B) for "betraying Sonic"

And C) for "being a selfish asshat" (paraphrased from one of the tweets I've read)

> Point A, is one that I agree on just cuz I can. But I find him.much easier to draw than Tails so there's that his overall drip I'd say is 6.3/10 (I do not need to bother with the leg placement just draw the pants!! Three rectangles for the base of the body wohoo) And as said, he is a child. Show me the clothes your 8 year old self was wearing and than we can talk.

As for actual character design aspect (which is something I know nothing about so I'm definitely an authority on this subject /lh sarcasm) I think it conveys the basics of him being a moraly gray character by being literaly dressed in gray. His gloves are black and white with his shirt having small splashes of yellow god damn it. He's not nice or a selfless hero type but also not rotten to the core

> moving onto point B because I really do not want to embarass myself by not knowing caharcter design color theory 101. 🅱️oy oh boy I find it so goddamn silly the more I think about it because Nine is literaly the only character from the entire shatterverse cast that has not used or deceived Sonic once for his personal gain.

All of the characters used Sonic to some extent (exept for Nine, my perfect little guy). The resistance tried to recruit Sonic because he's "fast strong and hates the egg", but they did so out of desperation to save their city. Thron used him to get the shard to "protect the jungle" and Prim sent him after Thorn because she probably didn't enjoy starving to death.

But than you have a certain other character that yall conveniently forgotten about, you know, the one that actually in 4k got caught and displayed openly on screen betraying (using the actual definitionnof the word) Sonic because of nothing but pure selfish greed, and for some reason got away with it.

Dread? The one who figuratively spat in Sonic's face just to get the blue shard for no other reason other than having it in his possesion? He had absolutely no quams about throwing his own crew under the bus (or water ig) lie and manipulate them, death threat and blame them for any of his own mistakes and than abandon them when it was the most convenient for him. (How in the ever loving green hill forest did all of this selfishness get redirected at Nine I cannot—)

Nine did not ever betray Sonic for any reason, actually. Instead, he was the only one to genuinely compliment him (even if not to his face or even in his presence but it was said out loud anyway) and If anything, he made constant little sacrifices in the hopes that once Sonic is done playing around a hero they could finally chill at the Grim.

Nine genuinely admired him (were that opinion stands as of the first teaser of the third season is probably not as high as it used to but it still might be burried under all that percieved betrayal) and felt the affection given was genuine as well. He cared enough about Sonic to offer him a place in his own paradise in making ffs, he also cared anough to leave him to the decision whether he wanted to stay or not (until his better judgement got a bit clouded with all the sudden love Sonic kept throwing his way but more on that later)

So no. I have literally no clue how y'all arived at the conclusion that Nine was only using Sonic for- what exactly? To steal the shards? I guess? But that was never his end goal. Sure he needs at the very least one from the Grim but it was Sonic that wanted the rocks in the firts place, and Nine merely helped him get them. He willingly played prisoner so that they could snatch all the shards at once together likenwhsghsgd how do y'all act as if the finale of the second season was some sort of Nine's evil Master Plan to make Sonic cry huh.

And I've been going on for two and a half hours and should probably sleep so point C) Here's where the gray part of his character comes in again because for people who's only expectation for such characters is that they commit crimes but are hot, when that is not the case it becomes a struggle to comprehend an actually moraly ambiguous character that isn't a generaly nice person that cannot be sexualized (because he's eight goddamn years old)

I mean, he is a complete selfish asshole for abandoning the rebels that weren't even there for him to begin with, seeing as Renegade went on attack before Nine himself stopped him. And he is also an irredeemable monster because he didn't care about finishing a fight in a city that he later and multiple times over made abundantly clear he doesn't care about, obviously, the most selfcentered ass there is. /sarc

I guess those weren't the nicest things he could've done but it were definitely the most logical ones from his perspective.

Was it selfish? Yea, and kinda sorta no? Most of his actions in the show were taken because of or for Sonic, in blind faith maybe, but by definition it's not selfishness if you're considerate of another person's interests and feelings

And the fact he took the shards at the end of season two is a completely different story

Just ough, putting one's self in Nine's perspective. Your whole short life, that also just so happened to be in a tyrannically ruled and industrial hellhole, you've been both physically and emotionally tormented and ostracized for being Different, to which you learn that lashing out and then self-isolating is the best defense you can fall back on. Some time passes and a random blue guy breaks into your house, calls you a slur, talks the most out of pocket shit youve heard but for some reason is also the first person to treat you nicely (+saved you from certain death).

Then one thing lead to another, you end up discovering a void and in it an entire empty universe; a plain desolate desert, but to you and the brand new powers in your possesion, it's a blank slate, new start, a safe heaven you fantasized about since you could remember. All the room and power to create anything that your broken child heart could desire, the wildest shit you could think of, whatever you want, you could make it happen, never having to look back ever again. And for an even better change of pace, maybe even have your first friend around as well. It almost doesn't feel real, but it is.

But uh ohs that very tangible fantasy is threatened(was it real after all? Were you?), suddenly you could loose all of it and be miserable again and by god do you not want it to happen, will you not let that happen, will you snap and bite an anything anyone daring to pose a threat to it. Even if it's that suposed friend that served as a catalyst to all of this.

And wanting to defent the little solace you've finnaly found is somehow.. a betrayal on Nine's part.

And I could do a whole another book on Sonic and Shadow's perspective but it's way too late and I have school in three hours so adios

#sonic prime #if none of of what Ive written here is coherent or makes sense know Ive been at this for two and half hours since midnight #is not healthy I know but I do not choose when I think about my guy #it is calle brainworms all night long so #ough I fear this all sounds way too pasisve agressive #inhope it doesnt #im trying to be silly about other ppl not liking my blorbobingus #seriouslybthis isnt a lecture of ment to call someone out I just hat lots of Thougts compiled over the months #and finally managed to write it all out #how well it holds together ill xheck tomorrow #not me writing half a book about a single talking cartoon animal this is sinsane #miles nine prower #nine the fox #sonic the hedghog #prime sonic #knuckles the dread #silly brainworms #lots and kots of worms jfc-

[paliamouzalh]

Does 4 a.m. snack count as breakfast?

#kleo #kles #greek #greek tumblr #γρεεκ ταμπλρ #midnights #my thougts

[scoups4lyfe]

PART 2

Out of all of Ian's songs, "So Beautiful" is one of my absolute favorites, especially the MV because of [again] the visuals and how accurately they convey what being Bipolar is like or what going through an episode is like.

Often I have the hardest times knowing I'm in an episode (until it's escalated significantly) because I go from being "unable" or "meh" to being able, and --like the quote above;

I can't tell if I've entered into a mood episode, or if I'm generally just having a good day.

You'll see this in a lot of my journal entries, but lack of control is major when (in my experience) it comes to being Bipolar.

Having no control over your own mental stability is "maddening"...for lack of a better term.

Around three years ago, I watched SKAM France and began to wonder if I was Bipolar.

Seeing Eliot, all I could think was: "Yeah that's me."

But since I didn’t know if I actually had it — I started mood journaling — and eventually I went to a psychiatrist (don’t get it twisted, I went for depression LOL — and because I was seeking to find an ADHD evaluation), and yeah. I was diagnosed with both ADHD and Bipolar.

Now — you might ask: “How can you NOT know or realize you have bipolar disorder?” And ohooooo my friend, let me TELL you.

— Depressive Episodes—

In Bipolar (though no one experiences it the same way — it’s a spectrum, but there are some general commonalities), there tend to be more depressive episodes than manic or hypomanic episodes.

“Although mania and hypomania specifically identify bipolar illness, depression is of major concern in patients with bipolar disorder, because depressive symptoms are far more frequent than manic symptoms and most suicides occur during the depressive phase.” (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1324957/)

In this academic article about the burden of bipolar depression within bipolar disorder, it shares studies particularly on how Bipolar

Depression significantly impacts Bipolar patients.

People with Bipolar usually seek help when they’re in a depressive phase; and are therefore often misdiagnosed as MDD — Major Depressive Disorder. The problem with this is that MDD treatment, usually going onto antidepressants, can send the Bipolar patient into acute mania, mixed states, and/or rapid cycling states. (I will define these in a second.)

...

“Bipolar disorder has a negative impact on virtually every facet of a patient's life, with depressive symptoms having a particularly strong effect on patient well-being. Depressive symptoms predominate over hypomanic/manic symptoms in the courses of both bipolar I and bipolar II disorders. In prospective studies of the natural history of bipolar disorder, bipolar I patients reported experiencing depression for 31.9% of weeks and hypomanic/manic symptoms for only 8.9%, whereas bipolar II patients reported depression for 50.3% of weeks and hypomanic/ manic symptoms for only 1.3%.”

“Similar findings on the prevalence of depressive symptoms were reported in a study of 258 outpatients admitted to the Stanley Foundation Bipolar Network. Approximately 25% of these patients reported being ill for more than three quarters of the year, with a mean of 214 days depressed, and 40% were intermittently ill, with a mean of 120 days depressed. An overview of findings from the Stanley Foundation Bipolar Network concluded that, despite treatment, bipolar outpatients remain significantly affected by their illness, with depressive symptoms posing a greater problem for effective treatment than mania.”

“Over 60% of patients in the Stanley Center Bipolar Disorder Registry were unemployed, despite the fact that 30% had completed college.”

“Termination of mood stabilizers may also have negative effects in patients with bipolar disorder. In published studies of patients with bipolar disorder who discontinued lithium treatment, suicide rates rose 20-fold and affective illness recurred in 67% of patients during the first year after discontinuation of lithium. Termination of treatment with other mood stabilizers, including the atypical antipsychotics, may be associated with negative outcomes.” 

These are quotes taken from the same source quoted above in red.

[Right.]

So — for me, since my onset of Bipolar was around puberty (late middle school; early high school), added in with the emotional dysregulation of ADHD, my mood episodes were something I had gotten used to, and that I thought were normal. (LOL.)

Plus, I didn’t realize or know what hypomania and mania was; ergo—I only really recognized the major depressive episodes. “Ah, everyone gets depressed <33.” ←My bonkers thought process.

I didn’t realize my intensity of depression was something that people didn’t normally experience — in fact, I remember talking to my little sister, and she told me she barely ever got depressed, and when she did it was just for a short period of time. The ‘surprised pikachu’ meme would be apt here, LOL!

My wake-up call that it wasn’t normal was a tv show (SKAM — the french one; though I have watched the OG one.) that had an accurate portrayal of Bipolar Disorder in one of the main characters. The way they went from happy elation; that flirty feeling of being on-top of the world, to the fall into a major depressive episode.

That depression was all too familiar to me. Literally looked the EXACT fvcking same.

...

Three best portrayals of what my sudden depressive episodes look like: 

[1] Mr. Robot — Eliot bawling his eyes out in episode 1. (20:00 Minutes in Timestamp) 

(Link clip example here)

[2] Eliot Demury — Skam France (And Even — OG SKAM)  

[3] Ian Gallagher, Shameless (U.S)

— (Linked clip example here)

...

I don’t know how to exactly describe it. Sometimes there’s just this overflow of emotion that makes me either cry or laugh or both. But mostly….it’s the apathy. Nothing matters. Nothing. The reason I don’t really care anymore about others’ opinions is because once I felt that apathy — that feeling of emptiness; of not caring — because life was nothing; I was nothing. So anyone’s negative opinions of me didn’t matter, I didn’t care about myself, so whatever they said ‘was probably right’ ←in my head; but it was as good as dust to me because nothing and no one could beat the hate I had for myself, OR the sh*t I was telling myself.

It’s fvcked up, I know. Even more fvcked up — is that there would be days I couldn’t get out of bed for a week. I would lay in bed. I wouldn't eat, it would be rare if I got up to use the bathroom— and any responsibility I had, I would not attend to — and you couldn’t make me. I would sleep 17-18 hours a day. Tired of everything, I would have no energy.

I ended up losing a lot of weight in college because of this LOL. I also fainted because of this (rip). When I could function enough to eat, go to class, I would still be empty and fatigued. I would go to class, eat, and then spend the rest of my time sleeping.

Even in high school, I would have an exorbitant amount of “sick days.” And when I did go to school, when I got home I would do my (1) chore and then sleep. School, chore, sleep. School, chore, sleep. It was to the point that my parents thought I was on drugs because all I would do was sleep. LOL.

And that depression would last for months. If it lasted two weeks or less that would be lucky. Anyways, there was a period of time (a few months after I graduated college) that I was normal. I felt normal, I acted normal, I had normal amounts of energy.

I remember telling my friends that (because I made a psychiatrist appointment) I wouldn’t tell them (the psychiatrist) about my depression because “Bah, it’s not that bad. I can sleep it off 🤪.” Anyways — I suddenly (and for no reason) fell into a depressive episode, and when that hit I was like, “Yeah I need to go tell the psychiatrist and get this figured out.”

I actually started treatment for depression before ADHD. And my depression was so bad, the antidepressants just barely made me functionable. Literally could not tell if they were working and my depression was that bad, or if they genuinely didn’t work. Anyways; yes they WERE working, my depression was just that bad. LOL.

(TW: Suicidal Ideation)

When I get low like this, if I start spiraling (which often happens) I get to the point where I think, constantly: “I don’t want to wake up anymore.” Sometimes I would even pray not to wake up anymore. I had crippling fatigue — so there was no energy to hurt myself. Which is why most of my mixed episodes are so dangerous.

Mostly though, when I’m down / dipping, I sleep. I just let myself do nothing, and sleep. Until it leaves, however long that may take.

I've talked about my experience being manic a few times.

Here I talked about being euphoric

Mania Episodes

I have had both euphoric AND irritated mania. And I have got to say — I liked the euphoric one; but FVCK the other one. 

Mixed Episodes

Ok. Mixed episodes — where one has energy (manic symptoms) but irritation or depression / fatigue (depressive symptoms); basically it's a mix of both mania and depression.

For me — this is when I get into the most dangerous states.

Most of the time I’m so tired it actually hurts. It feels like the fatigue is killing me; like I’ve sunken into the dark circles under my eyes. Except the moment I lay down? BOOM! Wide fvcking awake.

The fatigue doesn’t leave, nor does the pain, but there’s this energy buzzing through me and it quickly turns into irritation because all I want to do is SLEEP, but I can’t! I fvcking can’t; and it kills me.

Theses are the times where any passive suicidal ideation become more active thoughts. Mostly about prescription drugs and overdosing. (Or things like drinking windex.)

Anyways —

I don’t ever act on these thoughts because I do like living (thank you very much >:o ); but that doesn’t mean those kinds of thoughts don’t happen. In fact ---a whole spiraling intrusive thought chain decides to party in my head until I DO fall asleep, or find something to distract me. (Not a fun time.)

First — let’s just get this out of the way; Bipolar — aka the episodes, whether depressive, manic, or mixed — , are not caused by purely external events. It’s literal chemicals in the brain playing limbo with your mental health.

Now, can external events trigger an episode? Absolutely.

In fact, sleep is one of the strongest triggers for people with Bipolar disorder.

And I quote:

“ — It is essential that people with bipolar disorder practice good sleep hygiene. Ideally, you should go to sleep and wake up in a regular, predictable pattern and avoid activities that interfere with this schedule, including staying up late, drinking alcohol, and consuming caffeine. In order to promote a restful and regular sleep, create a ritual for yourself to get your mind and body prepared for bed. If you struggle to sleep, be sure to talk to your doctor about it so you can identify whether these sleep disturbances are a symptom of a mood episode and gain control over your sleep cycle before it triggers mood switching.”

— bridgestorecovery.com ‘Understanding Bipolar Disorder Trigger And How to Prevent Them’

I have stated this before here and here

But blackouts can happen when you're in a manic state; these last few months I've had at least three black outs, spanning from a day, to a couple of days.

/End of part 2 <333 /

[Prev] [Next]

PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7] , [8], [9]

And of course the MV:

Visuals of a Depressive Episode: (1), (2)

Journal Entries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

PPT Essay Extras: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

#part 2 #after this i'll liveblog some more #lmao #seeing as it's 10 minutes from midnight #my thougts #bipolaire #bipolar disorder #manic depression #actually bipolar #mental health #neurodiversity #neurodivergencies #dpr ian #dpr we gang gang #christian yu #fvcking moodswings ⚡️✌️ #a scoup of life 🔫🦆 #Youtube

[cxffeereid]

So I was listening to Mitski’s ‘I bet on losing dogs’ and it made me think about John/Paul’s relationship with Millie..

So we all know that John/Paul and Millie had a thing when they were younger, as told in the show and hearing how upset he was about the whole situation in the last episode when talking to Millie again.

BUT I believe it’s even more tragic as if you really think about it like this.. He was a father but.. not the way he wanted to be.

After finding out she was pregnant, she told him and obviously, he must have been over the moon but then reality kicked in and completely ruined his future family life with her and their baby.

Obviously Millie was mostly upset too but she had husband already so for her, she was able to pretend it was his and not John/Paul’s which had to be completely heartbreaking to say for her.

John/Paul seeing her belly grow bigger and bigger over the months of mass attendance. Seeing her glowing as she was becoming more heavy pregnant, wanting to help her, and just wanting to be with her instead of doing mass.

Maybe only briefly talking to her in his priest persona than the lover one, maybe asking about the baby and praying for her and the baby.

Once the baby is born, he doesn’t know until he sees her at mass with a newborn, making some fuss as she rocks her gently.

The ONLY TIME he gets to hold her is when she gets christened, he tries not to look too overjoyed as he is holding HIS BABY GIRL for the first time and last time.

Maybe watching her play with the other kids at the Easter crock pot, and seeing her injure her knee but he stops his parental instincts from kicking in as he doesn’t want Millie getting into trouble if someone found out.

Lastly, watching her grow up to be a successful young lady/woman as he grows older and more sad that he couldn’t be there for his only daughter with the woman he loved so deeply.

Then.. in their last moments together. He finally gets to say what he wanted to say to his daughter and how proud he is of her, and wanting to get to know her more if he could have.

In the last scene of the show, John/Paul gets to be with his family in the end but.. not the way he wanted but he is still grateful to spend their final moments with his family.

#hamish linklater #father john pruitt #father paul hill #midnight mass #hamfam #my thougts #mike flanagan #Mike Flanagan you will pay for my therapy bills #monsignor john pruitt #monsignor pruitt #Spotify

[coolfireguy73]

Picturing in my head the mercs meeting child versions of eachother, and Heavy calling child Medic "Leetle Doktor" is just the purest thing.

#Come with me leetle doktor #Do not listen to them leetle doktor #Do not worry leetle doktor I am here to protect you #tf2 #team fortress 2 #thougts #AG talks #it's midnight

[justtofeelagain]

I was lost in my thoughts for too long I forgot to think about living

#quotes #quoteoftheday #my thougts #artists on tumblr #thoughts #midnight thinking #its getting bad again #writers and poets

[lilredswiftiesthoughts]

I was on Twitter today, and I saw a post talking about Taylor and Joe’s relationship and how much digging people did into his life and into his family’s life and how people relate hacking into his families, personal emails and digging up family history, stuff of his  and honestly, that is some really scary shit. You went from being this normal guy who’s trying to break into Hollywood and act and then you’re dating the biggest sensation of our generation and now all of the privacy you once had and everything you knew is completely out the door. and I’m not saying it’s Taylor’s fault at all. It’s the fans who take it too far fault, like why do you need to know those things about who are in her personal life? Why do you need to be in her personal life you don’t really know her as much as you’ve been a fan from 2006 you do not know Taylor Swift. You know the persona of Taylor Swift that she puts out and she lets the world see but she’s private and she should be because she doesn’t need to give us everything. We shouldn’t ask her to give us everything she’s not our entertainment mirror ball she’s a human and I wish as fans and as a society we would recognize that about every celebrity is that they’re humans, and that they’re not this entertainment all the time. I just hope one day if Taylor leaves all of the world behind because she could I hope she’s happy and feels at peace if she doesn’t already.

#taylor swift #celebrities #midnight #mod talks #seriously though #my thougts

[risingwiththemoon]

Warum fällt es mir so schwer mein eigenes Versagen zu akzeptieren? Warum versuche ich immer in anderen die Schuld zu suchen? Mir sollte doch klar sein das ich ein einiger Fehler bin.

#ich bin der fehler #fehl am platz #fehler #angst vorm versagen #versagerin #versagen #ich hasse alles an mir #ich mache alles kaputt #allein #einsam #einsamkeit #hate me #mentally done #mentally drained #mental breakdown #midnight thougts #alone with my thoughts #late night thoughts #deep thoughts #sad truth #fail #failure #verzweifelt #psychisch kaputt

[dkvjan]

Is there anything that you should’ve let go of a long time ago but are still holding onto?

#midnights #my thougts #Spotify

[fruitydisaster]

My periods are my monthly EMI installments for the property I'm buying in hell already

#midnight thoughts #periods #2 am talks #2 am ramblings #my thougts #thoughts #lol #period jokes

[visd3stele]

there's a parallel to be made between the snow cousins. one who is a follower at heart and one who is a rebel.

coryo finds safety and reassurance in following orders, in having a structure and a routine. he craves the certainty and order the rules offer. he can navigate the Capitol because he knows the system and how it opperates, so he doesn't want to change it, he wants to take advantage of anything in the rulebook he can to work his way to the top. like when he was made Peacekeeper and he didn't opose one second in his head. the narrative showed how disapointed and pained he is, but because he was caught and punished, not against the Capitol and its ways. he ponders the benefits of death when there is no way for him to climb the social ladder and gets back to life when the posibility to become a higher ranked officer is opened to him. not once did he try to think outside the box because it goes against his needs of control.

*the only times he defied these principles was to help Lucy Gray and he was punished for it, so he understands he won't be doing that again

while tigris is from the beggining shown to have empathy, to be compassionate and to think for herself. she judges the ways the Capitol treats the districts and recognizes that tributes are human as well, encourraging coryo to befriend lucy gray and treat her well. she speaks against the Capitol and its rules and views, even if only in the confidence of her cousin, who warns her of the dangers of such words. they both know not to defy their rulers, but only tigris sees it as a bad, controlling thing that imprison people's freedom. probably this is why, once president, snow sends her away. such thinking, free and owned, is dangerous for someone who wants to keep the population indoctrinated.

#book blog #movie talk #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tigris snow #coriolanus snow #my thougts #thoughts at midnight #thoughts at 3am #3 am thoughts #3 am ramblings