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marstyler42 · 2 months

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What if the organizing of the cases in the O.I.A.R being different from how they were organized in TMA with the original 14 entities is causing a remanifestation where the separations between the new entities are completely different. What if by organizing the cases and they are single-handedly driving this universes interpretations of the fears. They aren't categorizing existing things, they are creating the boundaries.

#tmagp #reading through some other theories and this occured to me #because theres no way they are still robert smirks 14/15 #it wouldnt make sense from what weve seen #so the question is: are they one big fear entity again #or have the lines between them been redefined #and what if the oiar is manipulating those shifting differences and causing them to manifest more concretely #just as fundementally different categories of fear than before?#the magnus protocol #the magnus archives #the magnus pod #we established already that there was power from collecting statements and gertrude specifically devoted her time to making the archives #messy and hard to find things in #to delay progress #why couldnt that still be true

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fictionadventurer · 2 months

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The worst part about reading in a genre where you have low expectations (in this case, Christian historical fiction) is that when a book impresses you, you have no idea if it's actually good or if you're just overly impressed because it was a fraction of a degree better than the usual garbage.

#basically lately anytime i read a christian fiction book that isn't romance-based i find myself surprised by the quality #i do think that some christian publishers are getting better #and trying to tell stories that dig deeper into real faith and messy issues #instead of making only vapid squeaky clean prayer-filled tropefests #but i'm not sure *how much* better #because anything above the low bar feels like great literature #the most recent is 'in a far-off land' by stephanie landsem #and let me tell you setting the prodigal son in 1930s hollywood is a genius concept #i have some issues with the history and the mystery #but the characters!#it has been a long time since i cried this hard over a book #several chapters of solid waterworks #(and i also have the issue of figuring out if it's actually that moving or if i'm just hormonal/sleep-deprived)#i keep thinking about this book but also i worry about recommending because what if it's actually terrible by normal book standards?#(also the author DOES NOT understand the seal of confession and i was SHOCKED to find that she's actually catholic)#but also looking at the reviews makes it clear that if most of christian fiction is vapid garbage it's these reviewers' fault #here you have something that's digging into sin and darkness and justice and mercy and these people are just #'how can it call itself christian fiction if it only mentions god at the end?'#are we reading the same book this WHOLE THING is about god! and humanity and our fallen nature and how this breaks relationships!#your pearl-clutching anytime someone tries to get even a tiny bit realistic is destroying this genre #i'm gonna run out of tags so i'll stop now

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sheepalmighty · 10 months

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Some more of that Chai joins Vandelay for half a day AU. Or just a picture of a kinda OOC Kale chilling if you wanna gloss over those comics. I'm still not sure if the colours are too garish or not.

These were mostly done with the premise of treating Kale's office like the hideout. I also really like how mundane, or familiar, the interactions between Chai and Kale can be in the game so I wanted to draw some stuff exploring more like that. But also, there's the ulterior motive of shipping so I included an out of context scene because I can't bother drawing the rest of it (though it seems like a huge jump in their relationship as a result. I think they're so big headed that they get stuck in a feedback loop of stroking the other's ego if an excuse comes up to do so)

#hi-fi rush #hi fi rush #hfr #kale x chai #kale vandelay #hi fi rush chai #hi fi rush korsica #i didnt spend any time finding a ref for kale's shoe sole so i made something up #besides that though i owe my life to all the uploaders of reference pics and interesting details in the game #sorry about the korsica comic i probably had no choice but to cram all those words into one panel. also i like the typo on that webpage #i gave myself an arbitrary deadline of the end of last month but found the pages to be too messy so i spent an extra week on them #whether that helped or not no one will ever know. i have to work on other things so im putting a hard cutoff now #i wonder if my want to draw perspective stuff freehand is a case of fearing what my limits may be or if its just a fear of the line tool #i adore that this game lets you add more to the music through your inputs (dashing on the beat etc)#just like the games i have thoroughly enjoyed from tetsuya mizuguchi #i seem to have too much time on my hands #thinking up scenarios is quick and easy to do while carrying on with the day to day #its when the brain decides you need to try to draw them that the problems occur #'tis mine

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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months

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HOW DO YA LIKE THAT DARK DOG??

BEEN REAL ENAMORED BY THE 'SORRY' BOYS AND THEIR ODD ESCAPADES LATELY. I THINK THEY COULD DO A LOT OF GOOD THINGS WITH THREE GALLONS OF 'FAKE' BLOOD.

#sorry boys #sorry fanart #cw gore #cw body horror #DEAR GGODODDD I HOPE I TAGGED SORRY THE RIGHT WAY #PLEASE SORRY FANS IM HHEERE IM HERE AND IM CRAAZYYY GODDD PLEASE FIND MEEE FIND MEEEEEEEEE #GONNA BE HONEST IVE BEEN FLOPPIN BACK N FORTH ON THIS REAAAALL HARD LIKE. IM NOT SURE IF I LIKE IT #BUT EVERYONE WHO SEES IT SAYS ITS COOL! SO IMM GONNA TRUST IN THE WORD OF MY FRIENDS!!!!! THANK YOU FRIENDS!!!!#i tried to fit in as many things in the video as i could into his vile chest cavity. im rly proud of how jumbled n messy n fun it looks!#SOME THINGS TO NOTE! i painted over the bg of a specific shot from the video. painted over a portion of that LIGHT FIXTURE #BUT I Had to improvise the rest and im PRROUD LOOK AT THAT!!! WITH A MOUSE TOO BTW #DREW THIS WHOLE THING WITH A MOUSE. took some time but i think im gettin the hang of it #ANOTHER DETAIL: ranboos lil wires behind his mask. teeehehhehee i rly liked gen loss #i like this weird combo i do of cartoony and photo realistic. not sure where my balance is yet with that but im havin fun!!#ughghgh what else can i say abt this piece... other than it kicked my aASSSSSSS!!!#adding highlights in blood is always SSUCH A FIGHT for me guhhh it takes so much wrestling to make it look right....#ggbbhhbbgbh thats all thats in my brain for now. enjoy my art and enjoy my notes about my own art. enjoy ur day aswell if u can

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y-vna · 5 months

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　 ➳　　　◠　　　⌅　　　🍭　　 ⁘⠀⠀

　 ➳　　　◠　　　⌅　　　🍨　　 ⁘⠀⠀ @sugarstasia

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deankarolina · 8 months

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A Softer Wilderness ⤷LottieNat

#lottienat #Lottienatedit #yellowjackets #Yellowjacketsedit #A softer World #a softer wilderness #am not super happy with these cos it was so hard to find things that describe their messy relationship #but i love them so i had to find some things

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kelocitta · 13 days

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Tangentially related to some of the discussion i posted earlier but quiet literally the first RW Art Month i participated I did it completely on whim like, one day before it started. And I mostly did it because I hadn't drawn a ton of rain world and wanted to draw more. Fandom presence was a lot smaller than and I was one of a handful of artists who did the entire thing. Fast forward and I still do Art Month and I've gotten to work with VC directly. But it was quite literally something I decided to do completely on whim that set the ball rolling, and for something a lil more niche and certainly with a lot more dev/fandom art involvement than most. It's really random how and why you might get noticed more than usual, especially with the "toss it into the search and hope it pays out' mechanism of Socmed

#t.extpost #and im hardly the fanciest art month artist out there so it wasnt even about being a jaw droppingly talented artist or whatever #and while artmonth for rw is still given a huge focus its also a much much bigger thing now with a much bigger number of participants #which is cool! its awesome how many people i saw do most if not all of last art month! and VC is really good about not just repping the #most popular artists or fanciest pieces #but theres So Much More there now and while its great for finding artists its also impossible to get Everyone in there you know?#Although they absolutely try #And this is like. one of the most fanartist involved devs ive ever seen in terms of both celebrating the art their fans make and actively #bringing those fans in to contribute #and its /still/ hard to get going just because thats how Posting is #i used to be more of a hk artist which is both a huge fandom and riddled with stunning artists but theres So Many #and niche fandoms are niche so youre more likely to connect with people but less likely to see a ton of engagement regularly -#probably best example i have for that was being briefly fixated on patapon.#Its just messy to try and find the hack that sets you up #just have fun and jump around and make what you like #get a sense of feeling for your style and some people will stick around for that vs. strictly the subject matter #others will look up the thing you switched too and some wont engage #you cant really control it #so have fun and draw that thing you randomly thought about at 2 am that doesnt match your blog #draw for that forgotten rpg you liked when you were 15 or draw for the 70 player max steam game you played for this week #you never really know what will happen #but its not really worth worrying about what will happen either

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theshalesky · 24 days

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I'm the one next to the shy girl. You know the story - Tale as old as time: "I don't want friends." "I don't need friends." You can't escape fate, darling, This story is about you. She sits there, brooding, In the middle of the frame. Alone, but her world doesn't feel the lack Like mine does. I'm sorry, i'm not supposed to talk about myself. No vast empty space Like a pit in your stomach Or if it's there, it will soon Be filled. In this story, every Jack has a Jill. They come up to her laughing, talking, smiling. "You're new, right?" "Wanna come sit with us during lunch?" Or maybe "We're in this group project together, right?" They're interested In her. She's interesting. What has she done to be interesting? She is just sitting there!! And yet "We live in the same street, right?" "Did you do that math homework?" "Are you coming on the field trip?" So many questions! They're asking Questions. They want to get to know her although SHE IS JUST SITTING THERE. I'm sitting there too. Right next to her, actually. But no one notices because The camera will never focus on me. This girl found her family and will be happy - Oh, it's so nice that the shy girl found friends. Everyone nods: That's how the world works. And i wonder: Are you all living in stories? Because there's one thing i can say for sure. I am not in a story. I'm the one watching it. And although i'm close So close to the shy girl that you might think i'm like her I will never Be seen by any camera. I have to claw my way to a place half as comfortable as hers. Because the fate in my world Doesn't hand out friends Like an author does.

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dallonwrites · 27 days

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anyway i do think something that's helped me is not only to not see my first drafts as "bad" because it's pure baby writing, or seeing them as messy/unrefined, but also to focus on what my biggest strength is at that first stage of writing something and how can i use that to propel the draft forward? so like i think my prose is usually very good at the first draft, usually my prose edits is just condensing things or deepening an image etc. but i love playing with language so it's the easiest way for me to access a draft for the first time. when there's no story on the page my brain understands language and prose best before anything else. but i need more edits for things like structure and pacing and length and hitting the right beats at the right time. which is all like, normal stuff you work on with edits, literally working on every aspect of a story through multiple drafts is So Normal, so instead of thinking about all that and what is missing from a first draft i just focus on what is there for me bc i think whatever you find the easiest at the first draft stage is what shapes + propels ur writing process overall. which is something that is soooo personal because everyone has their own strengths and struggles at different parts of the process !

#this is actually something ive gone back and forward on bc i post a lot of first draft prose #and like. in the screenshots the prose looks good i would not post it if i did not think it was good!#im at a point where i very rarely see my prose as bad because well first of all its my prose. i always like my prose.#but i have a good sense of what prose i like as well. 'bad' prose for me is more just something isnt working as i planned #and i need to figure that out. anyway its been weird for me sometimes bc the thing #i find the easiest at the first draft stage is also the most 'visible'. like i can post a beautiful first draft line #but you can't see all the structural issues my first drafts usually have. that line is probably from a messy as fuuuuuck chapter LOL #which is okay! that's just how it is! but i want to be more open about #not only just what i find hard on a first draft but also what i find easy #which for me is prose but another writer could find ease w the things i struggle with i.e. plot beats

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nostalgia-tblr · 4 months

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in other news i enjoy a bit of sifki because they are clearly exes and you know something emotionally messy happened there but you have almost no canon "facts" to work with so you can just make shit up and nobody can tell you that you're wrong. in some ways that sort of pairing is perfect for fanfiction. you get a vibe from it, but there's no explanation for that vibe so whatever you invent to make sense of it is probably going convince at least a few people.

#i feel like current AU aside i'd find sifvie hard to write cos sylvie is VERY defined by not having lived that life so how does it even work #anyway the first thor movie there's a Tension isn't there? some ppl say oh sif just doesn't like loki and ok BUT they've fucked right?#idk i just think she has a resignation to her mistrust like she knows something the other characters don't?#i am willing to believe this is just cos i saw the loki show first and thought it was implying they were exes but it works anyway i think #i started writing a siforki thing (is it called that?) but i don't know where i'm going with it it's just fragments that popped into my hea #in a weird way it helps that them films don't care about most of the women in them. it leaves a lot to the imagination if u want that.#btw speaking of the women i think frigga might actually be the more xenophobic parent #should i tag this as sifki? it has very few shippers and they probably aren't that into the messiness angle?

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void-and-virtue · 5 months

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OP I LOVED UR ANDREIL POST GOING CRAZY THINKING ABOUT IT if you have anything else in that amazing brain of yours on this take please do share because i absolutely LOVED how you articulated this aspect about andreil. its something i particularily appreciate about their dynamic and relationship with anger and Their Issues TM. your post will cross my mind whenever ill think about it from now on.

I don’t think I have ever gotten an ask and this is kind of making me go insane??? I hope you know that you made my day and also, I’m so glad people share in my endless brainrot bc when it comes to this series and these characters I simply cannot stop

It really isn’t nearly talked about enough that the thing that got Andrew to actually look at Neil and become interested was (as cited by Neil himself at some point tho I can’t remember in which book that scene is from the top of my head) Neil’s bone-deep jealousy of Kevin. It’s—it ties into that whole epiphany that Neil has at some point, when he looks at Andrew and realizes that while he is hurtling towards his own breaking point and about to burn out and shatter into something he’s not sure he’d recognize if he survived the encounter, Andrew hit that point and broke from it years ago. And that’s an understanding that goes both ways between them—in a fucked up way, it feels like Andrew might be the future that Neil has waiting for him if he doesn’t end the year six feet under: hollow and drifting, passionless after everything he had to rip away from himself to be able to survive. At the same time, Neil probably reminds Andrew of how he used to be, back when he had hope for things only to have that hope rip him apart—which is exactly where Neil seems to be headed for the majority of the story.

I think that a lot of Andrew’s understanding of Neil comes from the fact that he knows intimately what it feels like to be caught between a rock and a hard place and cut his own lifeline, only to then fail to die on impact. Neil hasn’t had to resort to that yet, but he is hanging by a thread. You’d think that watching him struggle would only serve to drive it home for Andrew that he made the right choice in closing himself off, except… well. His expectations of life and the people in it are so bleak, it’s no wonder he finds himself drawn to Neil’s messy emotions and every unexpected show of spine like a moth to a flame.

Neil, for all of his issues and scars, can still feel things—can still want something so badly it defies all logic. Can want something with such visceral, fucked-up intensity that it resonates where it shouldn’t. It’s an ability that Andrew thinks he’s either lost or cut out of himself to stay somewhat safe, sane and alive a long time ago, but that remains as the most fundamental crack in the foundation of his being. It’s a fascination that seems to come out every time he’s sober and eventually ties into him wanting Neil—wanting something worth wanting and putting a name to it once he finds it. They look at each other and don’t want a watered-down version of the person in front of them. It creates a relationship that embraces issues big and small and accepts (even values!) the messy parts of being human. It means that any space shared between them immediately becomes safe once they settle into something comfortable together. The way they handle the uglier sides of each other’s personality honestly makes me feral because it’s always done with understanding and acceptance and they even find positives or comforts there that the other can’t see and that’s probably a reason for why 1) their chemistry is so off the charts and 2) their relationship is so damn healthy (in addition to their communication being stupidly good when it comes to each other).

Andrew wants something real and Neil wants to be real. And then they get to have exactly that.

#I hope this is even somewhat coherent #this went way out of hand but it’s an aspect of them that’s so hard to put into words #something something Andrew’s almost detached fascination with intense emotions and fervor #he shows that same tendency when it comes to Kevin vs exy as well #in the sense that I’m convinced Kevin’s passion both fucks him up and mystifies him #Neil is just much more up close and personal bc yeah his original devotion that caught Andrew’s eye was to the sport #but then Andrew got to experience that devotion turned around on himself full force #you cannot tell me he was ready for that #but also also #this and the og posts were meant to be about Neil and Neil’s emotions being ugly and messy and human #and how that resonates with Andrew because even terrible feelings can be better than an emotionless void #between numbness and twisted-up falsities #Neil’s raw emotions were probably the most honest thing about him early series and he had a lot that he was never allowed to express before #and not only is Andrew safe to let go of those inhibitions around #Neil also wants for Andrew to relearn how to enjoy that same privilege with him #losing control and all that #there’s a lot that can be said about all of this and I’m really not fully finding the words but. THEM. That’s all and thank you.#also ty for the ask I was really !!! when I saw that in my inbox :)))(#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #aftg meta #answered asks

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strawberrywindow · 10 months

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i've been having the hardest time focusing on things lately so some more sketches of the human dalmation from hell seemed in order to help with some relaxing 😮‍💨

powers not cooperating and tea time for the eldritch bby 🥰🤍🖤

#the spot #johnathan ohnn #across the spiderverse #fanart #i'm still trying to find a balance for his inverted colors form #it's hard to make messy things look nice 🤧#strawberryarts

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detransraichu · 2 months

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Have you watched any of pokemon concierge and if so do you have thoughts? The pokemon look so cute!!!

I FREAKIGN LOST IT DUDE IT WAS EVERYTHINGGGG oh my god i'm high on really nice edibles and i'm in a great mood thanks to y'all so i might go watch that right now!! :D thank u in advance for the transcendent brain-exploding happiness i shall experience <3

#lay text #THE ART IS SOOOO PWETTY #I LOVE HOW SHE STARTS OFF UPTIGHT AND THE VIEWER IS LIKELY TO VIEW OTHER PPL THERE AS LAZY SLACKERS AND HER AS PRODUCTIVE #BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT THEY STILL GET SHIT DONE #THEY JUST DO IT AS FAST AS IT NEEDS TO BE. WHICH OFTEN MEANS NOT VERY FAST!#IT'S OKAY TO PACE YOURSELF! YOU DON'T NEED TO WORK *THAT* HARD!#THAT'S NOT HOW LARGE MAMMALS DO #LOOK AT LIONS -- THEY LOOOOVE THEIR NAPS #LOOK AT ANIMAL SPECIES THAT R PRODUCTIVE AS FUCK. THEY STILL HAVE DOWNTIME PERIODS #YOU CAN RELAX. YOU CAN BE HUMAN. JUST BE KIND AND SHARE LOVE AND ENJOY LIFE #IT'S OKAY TO BE MESSY W YOUR SCHEDULE #IT'S OKAY TO NOT DO IT PERFECTLY OR IN THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY #IT'S OKAY TO PRIORITIZE ENJOYING LIFE #YOU CAN GET ALL YOUR SHIT DONE AND STILL TAKE TIME TO SMELL THE FLOWERS AND HAVE FUN OTHERWISE WHAT R U LIVING FOR?????#THIS BEAUTIFUL THING IS RIGHT HERE THIS WORLD THIS WONDERFUL WORLD!!!!! LEARN TO ACTUALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!#SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES AT UR FINGERTIPS!!!!#IF WORK DOESN'T ALLOW FOR THAT THEN WORK NEEDS TO CHANGE CUZ YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE #OTHERWISE WHY EVEN LIVE??? IF NOT FOR HAPPINESS???? FINDING HAPPINESS IS YOUR #1 JOB IN LIFE #A PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS IS THE MOST HUMAN THING #ALSO THE POKEMONS ARE CUTE AND HAVE PERSONALITIES AND SPECIES TRAITS AND IDK THEY ADD LITTLE DETAILS #THAT MAKES IT ALL FEEL SO GENUINE AND LIVED IN #I LOVE THOSE GUYS.... FRIEND SHAPED #ALL FRIEND SHAPED #EVEN THE BAD ONES. IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT. THEY'RE LIMITED BY THEIR BODIES JUST LIKE WE ARE.....#OKAY SORRY I HAVE RAMBLING DISORDER

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theconfusedartist · 7 months

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Hello!

Someone had asked me a question in my asks about the protocreed au, and while I want to answer that question in depth, I realized that my posts are very disorganized and they don't necessarily show up when I search them on my blog. So! I figured a good way to segeway later into answering the questions, would be to make a new masterpost, since I can't find it on my actual blog.

I'll be updating this as I go along, but for now I needed a new masterpost with everything up to date, with the best tagging practices.

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Shitposts:

Alex doesn't know how to have a normal relationship

They're fruity

They're fucked up! That's it, that's the post!

Rambling:

Initial Lore Dump

The Thread of Really Awesome questions

Thoughts on Juno and the Isu

The parallels...

Lore Posts:

Isu and Humans

Leading to the Isu-Human War

Fanfiction:

Before Penn Station (permutation 1)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

#protocreed #assassin's creed rewrite #prototype #[prototype]#prototype 2009 #prototype rewrite #materpost #on god I'm glad I had that other masterpost #because i was actually having a hard time finding things on my blog #thank goodness I found so much #but lile #i still need to blog crawl and grab everything before I start responding to reblogs and asks #because it's messy in theer

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hella1975 · 1 year

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choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her

#like my mum is such a loud powerful force of a woman that these little moments of vulnerability where she's just HONEST with me #and she shows me that she's worried or scared or unsure instead of just constantly putting up a strong front #always always bowl me over #like ive literally said to her time and time again that i'd find it easier to communicate with her if she wasn't so strong all the time #like of course i hate crying and being emotional in front of you when youve made it v clear my whole life that you hate doing that #when it's you that's the one being emotional like that's not fair #but also being strong all the time is literally a survival thing she had no choice but to implement bc her own life was so hard #so how can i just ask her to lower those walls for me? even if keeping them up is to both our detriment?#and like ive talked on here before how she's openly admitted to me that she finds my temper harder to handle than my sister's #even tho mine is quieter and significantly less messy. but she's also said to me that in general she finds my sister easier to deal with #bc my sister's so open and if she's angry she yells if she's sad she cries if she's happy she talks ur ear off etc etc #i just insist on handling everything myself and the worse i feel the more i deal on my own and it TERRIFIES my mum #BECAUSE it's led to mistakes in the past but also just bc i have never ever doubted that she has so much love for me in her heart #like even when our relationship was at its worst it was never ever a lack of love and she just does genuinely care and worry about me #it's just if she's scared she just gets ANGRY and her angry means her hurting my feelings and my feelings being hurt means i shut down MORE #and it's literally the worst combo but we love each other so much that we're both clawing through it anyway it makes me want to cry #and because she's always so strong i FORGET that there's just a scared vulnerable person behind those walls #that has no idea what she's doing bc her own mum never taught her anything good #and my mum blames herself so completely for every bad thing like she says things like 'i feel like ive failed' and idk how to tell her #that she IS messy and incredibly flawed and she HAS done things that have hurt me beyond comprehension #and there are bad parts of my personality that exist because of her and her alone #but ive also done terrible things to her too like not even considering the fact our responses arent compatible and that hurts her #i also did some DUMB shit when i first started tackling ye olde mental illness that had a HUGELY negative impact on everyone around me #but she is still my favourite person in the world and my best friend and i love her and i know she loves me and i just want to hold her #girls when their mum isnt an all powerful being but instead a flawed human trying their best: SKJDGHKDJSHGJKSDHGJKSH #hella goes home

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steakout-05 · 22 days

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ok as an artist i personally find traditional painting to be. really really annoying. like. i do not have the patience for it and i just find it to be really frustrating to set up and actually do and i end up not liking the results. i find that there's little room for mistakes and trying to fix them usually ends up with me making 50 other ones, paints can be so inconsistent and having to rely on availability and certain brands to continue making the paint is really inconvenient, not to mention expensive. spending a bunch of time trying to mix the right shade of paint, only for it to go down a completely different shade of colour and not being able to do anything about it is so frustrating as someone who likes consistency and having things just, y'know, not change colour as soon as it dries. plus, they all use different chemicals and can go off really easily or change textures and i am just not ok with having all my materials having an expiration date like food. lead and graphite pencils just don't do that and they can last for years, they're more reliable. every paint is drastically different and trying to find the right one is not only time consuming but, again, expensive, and i don't even see the point in experimenting when most of my materials end up not even getting used if i don't like using them. plus, i'm just.... really impatient. waiting for paint to dry sucks and is why i much prefer digital or just drawing something because i don't need to wait for anything, it just works. and then when i do want to take my time and work slowly for a better result, it dries too fast. it's kinda hellish trying to balance that time, especially considering how inconsistent paints are.

i like to use guidelines when doing art and i find painting straight onto a canvas to be really tricky because there's a lack of direction for me to actually paint. i'm at a complete loss at what to do when i pick up a brush because i can't map it out first without risking screwing up the paint. there's just so many things to keep track of and so much wet paint to avoid and i just do not have the mind for it. putting colours on a canvas and praying that it works just isn't it for me and requires a discipline that i just don't wanna involve myself with. painting is also just like... really exhausting and kinda painful. i got some pretty bad back issues and my arms tire and get sore easily and quickly when i'm standing in front of a canvas. it's a really physical activity for me and i just don't find something to be very fun to do at all when it's physically hurting me. i know drawing on a canvas has this issue too, which is why i prefer sketchbooks. sitting down and drawing something that doesn't break my entire spine every time i do it is much more preferrable than questioning if i should go to the doctor every time i make a brushstroke, lol

that's not to say that there's nothing i like about painting though! i can paint simple little things, and i like doing that. i like mixing colours with a palette knife and i find it fun and even a little relaxing. i painted some cute little chibi cardboard cutouts of the mario brothers one time and i found that to be really fun and i think i'd like to do that again! but apart from that, i just do not have the patience for it. i love the look of traditional paintings and i find many to be really beautiful, but i could never get into actually doing it myself because i hate the process. i'm content with just sketching and doing digital stuff because that's more fun to me and less stressful of a process to do. it's fun, it allows for more mistakes, it's easier to build up layers of shading and lines, not to mention using building up a figure with guidelines is super helpful with visualising what i want it to look like, and i can just erase something if i don't want it there or want to change something. it just makes sense to me.

tl;dr i dont like painting because it's inconsistent, expensive, time-consuming, directionless, frustrating and it makes my back hurt really bad. i'll just stick to drawing stuff :)

#vent #artist vent #i hate painting #i hate it so much and i just cannot understand it nor do i have the patience for it #i seriously had a crack at it and i just find it to be so annoying #there's so much preparation and i'd much prefer just whipping out a pencil and eraser and scribbling something down #to be fair though i do enjoy other art mediums that require more preparation #i find crafts to be fun and i really like working with air dry clay #using clay is just creating a little creature and i really quite like it a lot #making little cardboard guys is fun if not a bit tricky sometimes because my hands are so big compared to the tiny bits of carboard im usin #but it's very fun and cardboard is easy to get #clay is not so easy to get but you can get a lot of it and make many things with it #the only things i really dont like about clay is fingerprints and the fear of having your art literally explode when you fire it up #but other than that? fun!#painting? not fun!#paint is so messy and i don't like having goopy stuff getting stuck on me and all over my fingers all the time funnily enough #if i bump into something (which is very likely for me because i am clumsy) then oouuguh there goes all the paint its everywhere now #oh my god you know what i hate the most. i hate oil paints. i hate them so much.#the smell gives me bad headaches and makes me feel faint and it's hard to clean and dispose of and it's just more chemicals to deal with #it's just acrylic but more annoying #i don't think it's edible either which is. frustrating #it's also harder to clean out if you get stained with it (which is very likely because paint is messy)#i just dislike oil materials in general. they smell weird and they do not wash off. i still have oil pastel stains on one of my favourite-#-shirts despite the fact that it has been washed multiple times. and it took several days and so much fucking scrubbing to get-#-it out of my nails and off my hands completely. actual hellscape.#i know graphite and lead pencils would never betray me like this #pencils are so reliable and i love them <3 #pencils and drawing equipment in general are just more reliable and don't expire or develop inconsistent textures (except erasers for some-#-reason) and they don't! hurt! my! back!#like i'm over here needing to do the riker maneuver to sit down after i paint my back hurts so bad

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