#me in chapter 3 ranting about how much I loved Arthur

[lightbrownwolf]

Mister Morgan ! *tips cowboy hat*

This took a ungodly amount of time to draw I can’t even lie. I am deeply in love with this man, but more in the sense of I want to make him soup and wrap him in blankets and just make sure nothing bad ever happens to him :(

#rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #arthur morgan #arthur morgan fanart #my flatmate introduced me to the game and knew all along what was gonna happen #I went in completely blind #me in chapter 3 ranting about how much I loved Arthur #meanwhile my flatmate 🧍‍♂️ #you don’t even understand how hard I cried #unreal

[regulusrules]

Hi! Okay so you seem like a very well-read person and I’d love to know if you have a list of your favorite Merlin fics. I just bookmarked all the ones you recommended in relation to the 10 best episodes and now I need more! I’m going on a training camp and would love to have something fairly long to download to my kindle so I can read on flights and when I don’t have data 🥰

Thanks so much in advance!

(Also, I LOVE your writing, I’m so glad to be part of this fandom with talented people like you!)

Hey! Thank you so much for your kind words! OF COURSEE I'd love to recommend you some fics! Likewise— the creativity of this fandom never ceases to amaze me :)

*cracks knuckles and pretends my eyes aren't lighting up rn because my time has finally come*

Long fic recs (50K-100K+)

1. to the world that never let you be by ImperialMint. Look. I'll hand out my own throat so willingly to any scar reveal fic. The trope is just so dear to my heart, and this one in particular was something else. It broadly covered every single feeling you might be looking for in a Merlin fic, and its characterization of both Arthur and Merlin was top tier. I basically sell my soul to any fic that does justice to their characterization, and this one did so much more than that.

2. What I'd Have Done by @flight-of-fantasy. I solemnly swear you will never read something like this fic. I read it in one day from how on edge I was all the time. I had to recount it to my friends in the timespan of three hours because of how much screaming and dramatic pauses there was. Simply, the brilliance of plot here is unmatched. Arthur's characterization as a strategist shook my innards, and Merlin's unapologetic nature was chef's kiss. It's so hard not to give away the plot while recommending this so just.. just read it.

3. Redemption by flakedice, Zerda. Soon, you will find a parallel post to the best 10 episodes with the worst 10, featuring first and foremost The Disir. Honest to God, I could literally go on ages ranting about how much agony this episode brought me. It was the blow that awoke my eyes to the possibility of fuck, this show isn't going to end well. I once thought about shitting on that episode like I did with 5×13 in My heart is readily yours, but fics like these hold me back because they already gave us everything. It gave us the ending we deserved. Gold. Everything in this was gold. The world building, the character development, the fact that Arthur has been given time. Truly a fix-it that fix-ed my heart.

4. Talking about deviations from The Fucking Disir, The World I Built for You by Fulgance is a must. It was the first fic I've read from the How They Didn't Find Out (magic reveal one-shots) series, and from then on I was * s o l d *. Whichever fic you decide to read from this, I guarantee you, you will have the time of your life. Fulgance is the one author I will always recommend without a shadow of a doubt. There is not a single work of theirs that will disappoint you. They will only break you.

5. Deep In My Heart I'm Concealing by @citharaposts. True story about this fic, I squealed when I read its summary. “I'm not standing here as a king, Merlin!” was the quickest catalyst to ever make me start a fic. I specifically wrote a spoiler-free comment for the author and left it in the first chapter so that anyone who's thinking about whether or not to go into yet another 100K fic will rest assured that it's an amazing ride. Have real fun with this one.

6. It Was One Kingdom, Once by queerofthedagger. Two things, if they happen, you leave everything behind and go thank your God for blessing you with it: @queerofthedagger posting a new Merlin fic, and it being a Royal Hanahaki AU. Like so many other tropes the author has nailed, this was the best Hanahaki I've ever read (across fandoms). It's so intricate and detailed and the world building is on another level. If our world was burning and I had only one thing to save, it'll be the works of this author.

Hope I helped, and hope you have so much fun in your camp!◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕

[Short fic recs]

#merlin fic recs #the one thing I know how to do #this fandom is sustained by the brilliance of fic writers #we redo bbc writers' shitty work #and we ask nothing but kudos and maybe a fanart every once in a while #merlin #arthur pendragon #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #ao3 #merlin x arthur #merlin fic #fic recs #king arthur #archiveofourown #bbcm #LJ recs #regulusrules answers #regulusrules recs

[spro-o]

okay, so,,, i got back to reading 4kota, and i have so many thoughts of literally every nature

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR 4KOTA, NATURALLY!

okay so, allow me to rant a lil

bro why the actual fuck is Arthur just magical hitler now?? 😭 like hello???? it genuinely makes me really sad because he was such a sweet and likable character for most of 7ds and now he wants to create an ethnostate for humans only???? it just breaks my heart, man

SAME WITH JERICHO LIKE HELLO? QUEEN, YOURE BETTER THAN THIS. genuinely tho- nakaba try not to make all your characters pedos challenge (impossible). there are literally so many other ways in which Jericho could have ended up in a similar situation, but nakaba really just chose pedophilia? it couldve been something along the same lines just without the romantic attraction!! a family bond can be just as strong- and it couldve been something like her losing Lancelot or in some other way letting him down, and then thinking that he despises her and holds onto that grudge (which, judging his character it wouldve probably been a small spat that he got over) - but maybe Jericho didnt understand that, or wasnt ready to face him, expecting him to be livid - so she asked for an alternative reality where that didnt happen and they got along great as sister/brother or master/trainee. i wouldnt put Jericho past being so stubborn that she wouldnt believe when Lance would say that he forgave her, and then boom!! same set-up, just without the nasty pedophilia!!

ON THE NOTE OF WHICH- (theres so much of that garbage in nakaba's writing, fucks sake) - i genuinely hate the whole thing happening with Guinevere. the whole non-consensual kiss from a 12 year old to a 16 year old (ewwwww) is one thing, but then when Lance is reflecting on that interaction and he SMILES????

you have no idea how much this panel killed me to see. Lancelot youre better than this,,,, 4 years is not a big age difference when youre in your 30's, but when youre 16???? please,,,, cmon now,,,

speaking of whommmmm~~ ,,, I ADORE LANCELOT!! SO MUCH!! this is to be expected considering i love Ban, bUT- hes genuinely just such a cool and wonderful character that has some sense in him. i especially loved those panels where he was like jumping around to get himself hyped up cuz like!! Ban does that!!!! i love,,,,

elizabeth (looking gorge btw, i love that for her) is unfortunately reduced to an object of fondling yet again 😔 literally like the second panel that shes in and shes getting grabbed and groped by Meliodas?? it just feels mad disrespectful to her really deep character that she has such a minor role when you ignore her being sexualised by Mel (in reality nakaba, but i digest)

i love that panel where Anne tells Isolde about what chastity actually is hbghjnhbjh

I FEEL SO BAD FOR NASIENS WHEN PERCY IS ALL UP IN ANNES BOOBS. genuinely- the dropped bag, and all of he blushing that happened before it during their interactions,,,, that shit broke my heart, man

nakaba try not to draw teenagers naked challenge (impossible) (chapter 86 cover)

this is literally like the cutest fucking thing ever????? i want more calm, slice of life stuff for our skrunglies. they deserve a break

someone, please, stop all this shit going on with Guinevere (writing this while reading chp 87) – I really despise the fact that nakaba has to make like literally all of the relationships either look like they have a massive age gap (Ban and Elaine), or actually have a fucking criminal age gap (Mel and Ellie). it really is not that difficult to just write a relationship where there is a <2 year age gap, did you know that, nakaba?? crazy, I know (deadass, while I don’t ship them, it would at least be bearable if she was also like 15-16, just not 12 TT)

chion is such a fucking pain in the ass oh mah gahhhhhh

I love Gawain’s lesbian antics <3

At this point, though I love seeing the characters interact in more casua circumstances, id rather have more fight scenes than god awful, shoe-horned romances between any two characters of the opposite gender (exceptions being Nasiens and Gawain, my sillies <3)

okay,,, thats it for now, but do expect more at some point or another huiyuvghbijhb

#4kota spoilers #4kota #mokushiroku no yonkishi #nnt #rant #4kota manga #lancelot 4kota #tristan 4kota #percival #lancelot #guinevere #gawain #spoilers

[discopig]

That other girl (Thomas Shelby x Reader) [Part 1/3]

This is lowkey inspired by Sevdaliza’s song “That other girl” so give it a listen, she’s really underrated. As a member of the Grace love-hate relationship club, and an angst lover, I’m going to enjoy writing this. I might give it a fluffy ending but we’ll see! This isn’t set in any specific season because I honestly enjoy kinda ignoring the original plotline of the show... whoops! This is a short intro chapter

When Grace Burgess moves to Birmingham, she’s automatically the star of the show, her gracious face and innocence capturing the hearts of those who lay their eyes on her, but you don’t buy it. Her sudden appearance and posh aura setting your intuition off, a perk you’d gained from being around Polly so much. At first you try to ignore her presence, but when your boyfriend, and long time friend - Thomas Shelby, takes a keen liking to Grace, could you ever win against that other girl? Word Count: 978

Part 2 | Part 3

It was your regular evening at the Garrison, hundreds of drunk men piled up in the bar, the sounds of laughter and yelling penetrating your eardrums. You had been working at the Garrison for over 9 years, first accepting the job as a way to make some cash as you were only 18 when you ran away from your family, and the position happened to be vacant. You never intended to stay, the fumes of the factories and dark alleys in Birmingham being a stark contrast to the posh greenery and lavish villas you grew up with, however life doesn’t always work out the way you plan.

You were now 27 and if you were being honest - you hadn’t realized just how quickly the time had flown by... Well, when you know the Shelby family, it’s almost impossible for time to not fly by. You had gotten to know the Shelby family when Harry made you deliver 6 bottles of whiskey to their offices, a task you were afraid to take on, seeing as you were no stranger to the rumours about the Shelby family, and being new to Birmingham the last thing you wanted was trouble with the gangsters who have the city in the palm of their hands.

You had worn your plain brown cotton dress - the best item you could afford with the money you received from your job, and began your journey to the betting shop, trudging along the streets of Birmingham with the box of whiskey bottles. From that day on, Harry allowed you to serve the Shelby’s and you quickly got close to all of them, but one of them had completely stolen your heart - Tommy.

You’d never expected to fall for him, until you found yourself enamored by every word he’d say during family meetings, and lay in bed at night remembering every slight glance, or acknowledgement he’d given you. It was a stupid crush, and Tommy was quite a bit older than you and most likely saw you as nothing but a silly young girl, but when he started coming to the Garrison alone, eliciting your company to rant about his issues, or joke with you about how stupid Arthur was, he found himself falling in love with you too, your untouched innocence drastically standing out from the tainted souls of Birmingham, the way your eyes crinkled up when you’d smile, your London accent peeking through when you’d talk too quickly or how a cigarette looked almost like an expensive piece of jewelry between your fingers. So your love blossomed, and you became Thomas Shelby’s girl.

You had just delivered a bucket of beer to a table in the corner of the Garrison and were heading back to the bar, when all of a sudden you found yourself laying on the floor, the pain from your ankle hissing through your body

“Oh for fucks sake!” you exclaimed. Harry rushed over after seeing your condition - him having become an almost father like figure to you over the years.

“Are you alright Y/N?” he asked, concern beaming from his eyes

“I think I’ve sprained my bloody ankle or somethin’, it hurts like ‘ell”

Harry shook his head and offered to pick you up, you reached out to him and he took you to a taxi outside the Garrison

“Clyde, you’re gonna have to carry her up to her apartment” he said to the young taxi driver, who simply nodded in response

“You don’t need to come in, make sure you get your ankle fixed alright? Call a doctor or somethin’” 

“I will Harry, don’t worry ‘bout me, I’ll be back before you know it” you smiled at him, always being able to maintain your high spirits.

It had been two weeks since you’d been to work, your ankle was now in fairly good condition, however you still needed to be careful. Tommy had visited you almost every day, despite him being obviously tired, John had also visited a lot, always cracking jokes and making your tiny apartment smell like expensive cigars.

You’re wearing a green apron-style cotton dress with a white cardigan and some white flats - heels no longer a possible choice for the time being - your hair pinned back in a low bun, with a few loose strands at the front. You aren’t going into work today, you’re simply going to visit as you miss Harry and the bustle of the bar.

The bar isn’t as busy as usual as it’s only 2 PM. When you walk in you find Harry behind the bar, polishing some of the shot glasses, he beams when he sees you

“Y/N! I see your ankle is doing better”

“It is Harry, sadly I can’t work yet or Dr. Prew will kill me, but I’m just happy to leave my apartment for once! How have things been without me? Hope you’re not suffering too much eh?”

“Oh no no, thinks have been quite smooth with the new barmaid” he replied

“New barmaid?” you questioned

“Yeah, her name is Grace. Didn’t Tommy mention her? He’s been here almost everyday, she usually serves them and tends the bar”

“No... he never mentioned a new barmaid. Well, I’m happy you’ve had help while I’ve been gone, hopefully I’ll get to meet said Grace soon” 

You tried to sound enthusiastic, but not only were the thoughts of reasons as to why Tommy would refrain from telling you about your new colleague plaguing your mind, you also weren’t too happy about having to share the bar with someone else aside from Harry. You had gotten used to it and felt as though she might ruin your flow, and take away your usual tips.

Your deep thought is suddenly interrupted by the sound of the Garrison door slamming shut

“I’m back with the new glasses” A female voice exclaimed. You turned to the direction of the voice and felt your spirit bury itself six feet underground

Shit chapter but oh well... It’s 2 AM and I’m exhausted ❤

#cillian murphy x reader #Cillian murphy fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder x reader #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders angst #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby imagine

[mctherofdragons]

In the Afterglow | 3 | F.W.

moodboard by @minty-malfoy​.

Summary: The reader is married to George Weasley, and for all intents and purposes, he is the perfect husband. But, despite her best efforts to resist, Fred presents temptation she never knew she’d fall for.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem! Reader; George Weasley x Fem!Reader

Alternate Universe: No Voldemort AU

Rating: Mature, Future Chapters will Feature Explicit Content

Trigger Warnings: ANGST,  mentions of extramarital affairs, cheating, mentions of infertility/miscarriage, mentions of sex, cussing,  i think that’s it 

Author’s Note: I have to give a HUGE shout out to @starlightweasley because oh my gosh, she has been my sounding board for SO many ideas for this fic and i’m so thankful for that. I hope you all love this chapter, but I will say it’s a bit of a filler. Chapter 4 will be much more in depth and have action between the reader and Fred (including fluff). Also, please note the TWs for infertility and miscarriage, which were not TWs in previous chapters. XO. PS: If your name is in bold, i couldn’t tag you. 

Taglist: @oh-for-merlins-sake @sunflowernarry @vivianweasley @haf-the-trash-panda @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @msmarklee1213 @n3ssm0nique @satellitespidey  @michaylahpfan27  @girl22334 @starlightweasley @minty-malfoy @theweasleytwinsgirl @louist-pics @pigwidgexn @snehkaaay @slytherinbth @laurrrtyyy 

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

December 25th. 

The Weasleys didn’t have all the money in the world for a lavish Christmas, but somehow, it was better to celebrate in their simple way. You sat on the sofa, your legs tucked beneath you comfortably. Taking a small sip of your hot cocoa, you watched as George stoked the fireplace. 

“Happy Christmas, y/n,” Molly said as she entered, opening her arms wide. You gave her a warm hug, feeling the happiness simply radiating off of her. But inside, your stomach was in knots. Last night’s kiss with Fred was still fresh in your mind. He, on the other hand, was still sleeping. 

You watched as Albus played on the floor with his new toys, looking over as George sat next to you. “Maybe next year...we’ll have another little Weasley on the way?,” Molly gave you a wink and you forced a smile. George put his arm around you. It made you feel ill. 

“Mum,” George sighed. “You know we’re trying.” “Ah, well, getting there is half the fun I always say,” Arthur chuckled, sitting down with his cup of coffee. 

“Arthur Weasley!,” Molly gasped. Again, the room filled with laughter. You snuggled further down into the sofa, glad to be distracted by the marshmallows swirling around in your mug. 

_______________________

5 years earlier, November. 

Gryffindor had won again, in no small part thanks to the Weasley twins. You took off running, your robes catching the wind behind you. You were practically bolting toward the twins as fast as you could. For a moment, Fred found himself smiling, allowing his mind to think you were running toward him. His forlorn face wasn’t apparent to you as you leaped immediately into George’s arms. You practically knocked George over as he twirled you around. 

He laughed, taking in the scent of your perfume. “Hi, poppet,” he laughed, setting you down. 

“My favorite beater,” you giggled, giving him a playful kiss. Leaning forward, you stood up on your tippy-toes to give his nose a little kiss. His whisper met your ear and you giggled. Fred had heard it, though, and he was sure George wasn’t even trying to be quiet. 

“C’mon up to my room, love,” he whispered. Then he turned to his twin. “Hey, Fred, make yourself busy for a while, eh?”

George grabbed your hand and you took off toward Gryffindor tower, your stomach bursting with excitement for some alone time with George. Fred felt his stomach sink, jealousy brewing somewhere deep within him. He threw his broom down, eliciting a shocked look from the keeper next to him. 

____________________________

Fred came down the stairs eventually. His red hair was tousled and you couldn’t help but bite your lip. You caught yourself quickly, snuggling in closer to George. 

“Mornin, all. Happy Christmas, mum,” Fred gave Molly a little kiss on the forehead, heading over to pour himself a cup of coffee. 

“Well now that Fred has decided to arise from his slumber, we should get around to opening the rest of our presents, yes?” Ginny seemed annoyed with her brother, but that was not too unusual. 

Fred sat down on the floor, busying himself with sipping his coffee. Neither of you dared to look at one another. It occurred to you that maybe last night had been a dream, but then you felt the tiny rug burn on your lower back and knew it was real. Your sweater had lifted up while on the carpet with Fred, giving you a small scrape. 

Everyone busied themselves with opening their presents. Molly practically cried over every gift her children got her, including a framed photo of everyone from last Christmas. Meanwhile, George and Fred had gotten each other expensive bottles of whiskey, nearly dying in laughter that they both got the same thing for one another. 

Finally, George handed you a small black box and your heart fluttered. “For you, princess,” he grinned, giving you a small kiss. Something behind his eyes still felt distant, but you pushed your doubts away. You opened it up slowly, revealing a stunning vintage locket. It was eighteen karat gold and engraved with floral detail. It was no doubt madly expensive. It was stunning, the lights from the Christmas tree glinting off of its surface. You clicked the locket open, feeling yourself tear up at a picture of you both from your school days. 

“Oh,” you put your hand over your heart. George took the necklace from you and turned you around, fastening the clasp for you. Once he was back in front of you, he pulled him into a kiss. “I love it, George.” 

“Again, happy Christmas, love,” he gave your hand a squeeze. But you found yourself reaching up to touch the cold medal around your neck, secretly wishing a photo of Fred was inside. 

You looked up and caught eyes with the other twin. You stared for a moment, his brown eyes burrowing deep into yours. Fred broke his gaze. “I need a moment,” he mumbled, quickly rushing outside. 

“What’s got his goat?,” Ron said, stuffing a cookie into his mouth. Everyone shrugged, except for you. You felt your heart crack just a bit as you looked at the door which had just swung shut.

“I’ll go check on him,” you offered. No one suspected anything, of course. You were always kind to Fred. Each member of the family had assumed Fred was just stressed about the shop, as was usual, and needed some calming down. 

You headed out the back door, rounding the corner behind the Burrow. Fred was leaned against the small shed out back, tears streaming down his face. He saw you and buried his face into one of his hands, his other arm pulled across his abdomen. 

“Go back inside, y/n,” he sighed, using the sleeve of his sweater to wipe his eyes. 

You dared to step forward, moving his hand away. “Fred.”

“Please, go back inside,” he gently moved you away from him. 

But you pushed your luck again, stepping forward. He spun you around, kissing you with your back pressed against the cool wood of the shack. “Go back inside,” he repeated, the clouds of his breath floating up into the freezing air. A few tears remained on his cheeks, but they’d know somewhat rubbed off onto your cheeks. The winter breeze stung as it met the dampness. You kissed him again, and nothing about it was soft. When you and Fred kissed, it was as if you’d completely devour one another given the chance. Close was never close enough. He cupped your face in his hands, his forehead pressed tight to yours, your noses touching. “Go. Inside,” Fred repeated finally, and you slipped beneath his arms to head back toward the door. 

“You’d best come in before they start to worry,” you said quietly, thankful you had decided against wearing lipstick that day. 

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･

December 28th. 

George sat across from Fred, counting that day’s deposit. Fred had poured them both glasses of the whiskey from Christmas. This was something they occasionally enjoyed, basking in the happiness of just being brothers together. Usually, they talked about nothing in particular. World quidditch scores, or the latest movie they’d watched. But today, George seemed tenser. Fred hadn’t admitted it out loud, but he was partially nervous that George had suspected something. 

Fred tipped the bottle to top off his glass, taking a strong sip as George placed the deposit into the lockbox. He took his own swig, setting down his glass as he looked at his twin. 

“She’s driving me bloody mad, Fred,” he said finally, shaking his head. Fred raised an eyebrow, realizing George was about to start ranting about you. 

“Is that right?,” Fred adjusted his shirt a bit, undoing the top button. He was already nervous for what was to come, knowing any ill word against you would make his anger spark. 

“I mean, fuck, we’ve been trying for months now to get pregnant and she can’t. I know it isn’t her fault but, hell, it sucks, you know?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Fred said quietly, swirling his ice cubes around in his drink as he moved his glass. 

“And don’t even get me started on her being piss poor in bed, lately, neither,” George slammed back what was left of his whisky. He filled up his glass halfway again. 

Fred felt his blood pressure hit the ceiling as if someone had set a Whiz Bang off in his brain. 

“Ya know, I haven’t told anyone this, but she did get pregnant, a few months ago.” “How do you mean?” “Well, you know it….came away,” George frowned, feeling his throat get tight. “I just, ever since then, Fred. She doesn’t want to try anymore. I...I hate to admit this but, I’ve been...feeling less in love with her lately.” 

Fred stayed quiet, unable to form a coherent sentence that wouldn’t give himself away. You were perfect to him, and imagining you curled up on a bathroom floor, experiencing profound loss, broke his spirit. 

“It’ll all work out,” Fred gave George a friendly pat on the back. “C’mon, lets go down to the pub for a few with the boys, eh?” “Sure.” 

Fred left the conversation there, forbidding himself to venture any further. Two can keep a secret, but he tended to be rubbish at it.

He felt his phone buzz and he pulled it out of his pocket, smiling down at the screen. Your name had popped up with a short text message. 

Miss you. Meet tonight someplace?

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley #weasley twins #fred weasley x you #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x fem!reader

[meggie-stardust]

Tagged by the always lovely @myletternevercame. Thanks babe < 3

how many works do you have on AO3? 57

what’s your total ao3 word count? 18,2645 (dang!)

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Acts of Man | Merlin | Merlin/Arthur

Nightmares | PJO | Jason/Percy

Looking for the Things We Lost | Teen Wolf | Peter/Stiles

Here I Am (Stuck in the Middle With You) | PJO | Jason/Percy

The Legend is True | Teen Wolf | Peter/Stiles

do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to as often as I can. When I first post something and I get an influx of comments, I try to do it once a day. But when I get random comments on old stuff, I often forget to go back and reply, but I read every single one, and I do try to remember to write back.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Oh man. Most of my fics happy endings... But the happiest?? Probably Acts of Man, since it's a Christmas fic and it has this kind of storybook coda on the end of it.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Hmm. My older fics tended to be a little more angsty and open ended... probably this old Sterek fic Those Who Hunt Us or this Isaac Lahey study Bygone

do you write crossovers? Not much anymore, but I did a cool 3 sentence fic challenge back in 2014 and each prompt (from tumblr folks at the time) were things like MJN air + Supernatural or Sherlock and John work at Mooby's. I also have a soft spot for this Sherlock/Cowboy Bebop xover cleverly called 221Bebop: Honky Tonk Woman. And of course, there is the abandoned HP/Sherlock crossover bestie and I started and will never finish, so IDK why I even bring it up. Actually come to think of it, I also had the Sherlock Monstrumologist one... I just wrote a lot of Sherlock xover fic back in the day, huh.

have you ever received hate on a fic? Not on AO3 comments. I haven't gotten some odd reviews/comments, but I have been very fortunate to have not experienced much of this in my 20+ years in fandom.

do you write smut? if so, what kind? Yes. All of the kinds?? I remember thinking it was such a big deal to write a "lemon" back int the day, and now it's old hat. Of course, I can't really write PWPs (I think I have one maybe??), I always have to write a giant backstory just to get to the good stuff (see my 18k GW beast of a fic for a lemon/smut fest. smhd)

have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I'm aware of...

have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! And it's such an insanely wonderful honor. I've also had fics written that are inspired by mine and I just... blanket permission to anyone who wants to remix, translate, art, whatever my work. It's so flattering.

Most recently, I had Black Sails in the Sunset translated into Portuguese.

have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, but it was abandoned. I would love to do something like that again. Or something slightly different, like a comic *cough*@bettertasting*cough*

what’s your all-time favourite ship? How does one even answer that? Heero/Duo was the ship that got me into fandom; Harry/Draco is something I will still occasionally return to when I want like nostalgic comfort; Merlin/Arthur has some of the best fanworks I've ever consumed and they feel more like canon works than fanon; I've been reading and writing Stiles/Peter for like 5 years now... So, this is my non-answer. IDK man. I have a whole fleet and I'm ok with that.

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I had this idea for a Stranger Things OT3 fic at the end of Season 1, and then I wrote the first chapter and never posted it or wrote more before Season 2 dropped, and meh. I'll never go back to it. I loved the idea, but the characters have changed so much, I don't think I could capture what I wanted anymore. Maybe I'll post my WIPs I'll never finish someday and clean out my WIP folder.

what are your writing strengths? I think I'm funny and can inject that well into characters? And I like to think that I am good at writing in the character voice.

what are your writing weaknesses? If I need a "real" plot. Like, I cannot write case fics or mission fics or anything like that. I spent ages reworking my last fic so I could "Kevin Smith" the action by only have characters talk about some stuff that happened to them, and never see any of it on screen.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think I would take the easy way out and do it like: "blah blah blah" she said in French; or "she let out a rant in French" but never actually worry about translating anything.

what was the first fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing! And back at it 20 years later!

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Hmmm. I really do like the last fic I wrote, my reentry to GW:

Our Love Keeps the Things it Finds | Gundam Wing | Heero/Duo/Trowa

And on the other end of the spectrum, and short 500 word fic that I really, really love:

A Slow Deep Panic | PJO | pre-Jason/Percy-ish

ok tagging: @punchedbymarkesmith @gatesofdisorder @lolahardy @pineappleglazedham @gentleranium @theheadgirl and you! Yes, you! Do you write fic? Are we mutuals? Do you want me to tag you in things? Let me know by doing this and tagging me!

#tagged #meg answers things #meg writes fic #fandom meme

[ladysmaragdina]

BEHOLD, ARTHUR MORGAN WITH POST-EPILOGUE HORSES IN CHAPTER 3. NO MODS, JUST EXPLOITS.

I’m way too fucking proud of myself.

explanations and ranting under the cut:

(I really want to stress that there are tutorials on Youtube on how to do both of these things)

The Turkoman was stolen from the Braithwaites, which is honestly super easy to do -- you can keep one (1) horse from that mission if you hang back at the end and feed it until it bonds with you (there’s not a prompt to feed them, but you can stand close enough and do it from your inventory. Just make sure Arthur doesn’t piss the horses off and get kicked in the head and die). The black and white horses are Arabians that Arthur can get through other means, so if you steal anyone but the Turkoman you’re stupid. When I brought him to the stable, the vendor made a smart comment about him being too fat, which is probably because I’d just shoved 15 sugar cubes down his dumb throat to make him love me.

According to the Braithwaite stableboy, his name was Cerberus. Now he’s named Belial because of the B on his butt (which unfortunately vanishes after loading a save)

The Missouri Fox Trotter? Is a bitch. 

There’s another way to get the same horse, via glitching the random encounter with the lady with the dead horse, but that requires endless save scumming and the mercy of the RNG and is just a matter of riding the same route over and over and over and over. This way requires SKILL. This way is real, real, stupid.

She’s the wild horse that Arthur and Albert Mason comment on in Arcadia For Amateurs III (you can actually get her as early as chapter 2, but I like saving the second part of that quest until after I have the Bolt Action Rifle). It seems like she’s always a girl. She’s supposed to run off and despawn while you’re talking with Mason to finish the mission. However, if you’re tracking her in Eagle Eye before you start the conversation and immediately skip the conversation, and time it just right, you can keep tracking her after the mission ends.

The moment you lose her trail, though, she’ll cease to exist.

And the tracking meter runs out much faster than normal since, again, she isn’t supposed to exist.

You have to frantically mash Eagle Eye as you chase this horse across half the goddamn map (she’ll usually run towards Butcher’s Creek, but God knows which direction she’ll turn when she hits it) while she sprints in an endless pell-mell panic in an effort to die like the game intended. Once you find her -- and again, she will NEVER stop running -- you can’t tame her normally. You can’t calm her or feed her or interact with her in any way. But if you’ve got an agile horse and infinite persistence, you CAN ride up next to her, vault on her back, and break her like any other wild horse.

She’s still a glitch at this point, not a fully realized horse -- you still can’t feed her or bond with her. If you get off her back for any reason before getting her to a stable and saving, the game will cease to recognize her as an interactable object, you won’t be able to mount her again, and you’ve got to reload and start Arcadia For Amateurs III all over. But if you stable her, and save, she’s yours.

...This took me two or three hours and over a dozen attempts.

The very first try, I caught her and tamed her and immediately got hit with a Murfree random encounter and she spooked and knocked me off. The next time I found her, several attempts later, I tried taming her in the mountains north of O’Creagh’s Run but she lost her footing on a steep slope and I fell off. One time I chased her all the way to the swamps of Lemoyne, vaulting over alligators, only to lose her when I got jumped by fucking wolves of all things. One time I fended off a Murfree random encounter while chasing her, tamed her, and was so desperate to beeline for a stable that I sprinted up a mountain, tripped, and fell off and shouted “NO” in real life. There’s a particular steep cliff just east of the ‘V’ in ‘Hanover’ on the map where I lost her trail at least four times that I now hate with a burning passion.

But I got her, and she’s fully functional and Arthur’s forever, and her name is Veruca because I want a pony and I want it now.

...There’s no practical point to this. This is in fucking story mode. I’m just proud that I broke the game and made it give me something I’m not supposed to have. 

And now, whenever Arthur rides by an NPC, sometimes they’ll comment on what a sweet horse I have.

#RDR2 #red dead redemption 2

[booksbeyondimagining]

Before the Devil Breaks You (The Diviners #3), by Libba Bray

Publish Date:  October 3, 2017 Published by: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers Length: 546 Genre: YA Paranormal/Historical Fiction My Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (1 out of 5 stars)

Synopsis:

New York City. 1927. Lights are bright. Jazz is king. Parties are wild. And the dead are coming...

After battling a supernatural sleeping sickness that claimed two of their own, the Diviners have had enough lies. They're more determined than ever to uncover the mystery behind their extraordinary powers, even as they face off against an all-new terror. Out on Ward's Island, far from the city's bustle, sits a mental hospital haunted by the lost souls of people long forgotten--ghosts who have unusual and dangerous ties to the man in the stovepipe hat, also known as the King of Crows. With terrible accounts of murder and possession flooding in from all over and New York City on the verge of panic, the Diviners must band together and brave the sinister ghosts invading the asylum, a fight that will bring them face-to-face with the King of Crows. But as the explosive secrets of the past come to light, loyalties and friendships will be tested, love will hang in the balance, and the Diviners will question all that they've ever known. All the while, malevolent forces gather from every corner in a battle for the very soul of a nation--a fight that could claim the Diviners themselves.

My Review:

I don't even know where to begin this review. I feel like I don't understand what happened with this book? I loved the first two. They were breathtaking and wonderful and full of gorgeous characters, a setting that drew me back in time, and a plotline that gave me the best kind of chills. This one? This one just failed. Utterly failed. For a long time I considered Libba Bray to be my favorite author, but this book disappointed me so much that I don't know if I can anymore. What started as a spine-chilling paranormal historical story full of wonderfully diverse characters dealing with a multitude of problems, both emotional and physical, became what can only be described as a hot mess in this installment of the series. And not even the good, Evie O’Neill type of hot mess. Just, a mess.

What happened to the characters I fell in love with? It felt like they completely disappeared in this book. They were all trying to take the lead at the same time and instead of standing out, became lost in one another until it seemed like they barely existed as people at all, but rather caricatures of themselves. It honestly felt like Bray was just rehashing singular traits of these characters that had already been established in the first two novels, and rather than expanding on them and giving them growth, they all just felt very stagnant throughout the story. Or they would have a small moment, only for things to move quickly on before any true growth or resolution was shown despite the need for one. What irked me the most was how the perspectives would shift so quickly and often, literally within the same paragraph at times. It was like getting whiplash trying to keep straight whose feelings I was reading about. This translated horribly into the larger story arcs as well. Very often a plot point would pick up - Mabel and the Secret Six, Theta and Roy, Jericho at Hopeful Harbor - and the book would spend a little bit of time dealing with that, only for it to suddenly switch gear, drop it for multiple chapters (re: hundreds of pages), then to finally bring it back up again much, much later. This led to these story arcs (and consequently the characters) losing their momentum and my interest. I don’t understand why they weren’t intertwined more throughout the book as in the previous books, which balanced both the personal lives of these characters and the over-arcing plotline so well in comparison to this one. And the rest of the plot? A mish-mosh that felt like it was all over the place and completely tedious all at once. I wanted to like this book but I just couldn’t. I can’t tell you how many times I read a line or two and thought “Am I reading a rough draft?” Honestly, sometimes it didn’t even feel like more than a rough outline. Character emotions would pop on and off at random moments. They would do things that seemed to skip important movements in between. Descriptions were just sorely lacking. The first time I started this book (and yes, it took me two tries to get through it), I thought that I was unable to deal with it because it was 1. The early stages of a pandemic and 2. Filled with a lot of recaps of the books I had just reread. I thought it was just me. But it wasn’t. It took me almost four months to finish it the second time around, and only because I forced myself to do so because I wanted to know how this series ended and what became of my beloved characters. All I ended up wanting to do was cry. And not because of the actual story. Just how it was written. I never thought I would ever give Libba Bray a one star review, but sadly, this book just cannot earn anything above that from me. NOTE: The following is a more in-depth look at several plot points that I just want to rant about, and will therefore place under a spoiler alert. [SPOILERS BELOW]

We will start with Mabel, since she is the first character who felt like she had the beginnings of a story arc going on in this book. Mabel Rose, what happened? Again, here I thought she was going to be one of the main focuses of the book (such as with Henry and Ling in Lair of Dreams), but sadly her story just bookended the rest of the plots. But what annoyed me the most, was how botched her character became towards the end. She kept going on and on about “believing in people being good at heart” as if suddenly she had been blind to everything else? And don’t get me started on her believing herself to be in love with Arthur - she was in love with the idea of him loving her, because otherwise when they had sex, she would have been thinking of him, and not how she had beat Evie to something for the first time. (Speaking of, what was with EVERYONE having sex seemingly all at the same time? Was this some weird Sense8 thing?) In conjunction with that, we had Sam and Evie getting it on at the end as well. Now, this is one to unpack. Because let’s see - first, they were on the outs and fighting. Then, Evie was making the moves on Jericho again (and him on her). And things seemed to be actually heating up there (not that I cared). BUT, Jericho got all beefed up both physically and paranormally and suddenly became a raging neanderthal who ALMOST RAPED EVIE and they had one small conversation after he came back to his senses that didn’t really resolve anything, she left feeling conflicted, and then slept with Sam because he was “real” with her. *blinks hard* So are we supposed to ignore the fact that Evie wanted Sam to give everything to her while she still had unresolved and conflicted feelings for Jericho? Or did she make up her mind about him and we just missed that? Look, I love Sam and I thought it should have been him and Evie from the get-go (but not without some long-term dancing around each other), but not like this. It just felt...wrong. (I still hate Jericho. He’s dull. And he’s a philosophy nerd. It seems to explain a lot.)

AND ANOTHER THING! What the hell was the retconning about Sam and the circus?? It was mentioned like three times in this book? But never before that? All of a sudden he's a trapeze artist? What is even the point?  Finally, the other story arc that annoyed me was the Roy one. Mostly it was how it ended - Theta goes full Phoenix on his ass (and I was so ready for her to give him his comeuppance), only to be stopped at the last minute by Memphis who gives her a mini speech about “stopping you for you” so that she doesn’t feel guilt in the future (not that she should after what Roy did). Seems like a good time for some quality character development right? Well, after Roy runs away after screaming “I’ll get you for this” like a Scooby-Doo villain, Theta just smiles and kisses Memphis as if the credits are already rolling. No breakdown, no talking things through, no reassurances - nothing. Just, move on - next storyline please. [END SPOILERS]

#book review #before the devil breaks you #the diviners #libba bray #ya paranormal #ya historical fiction

[juniperwindsong]

In Love & War (3/3)

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been so kind as to comment on this story and even kinder in their patience for how long it took to complete. I’ve never struggled so much to write anything, and I might still be staring at an unfinished draft if it weren’t for the help of the most incredible, @navirosera, who listened patiently to my ranting, raving, and complaining and provided the spark to help me finish. I really can’t thank you enough. 

I have posted the remaining part of the chapter at the bottom so it’s in its proper place. If you’ve already read the first part of this, just keep scrolling till it looks new. 

Part 3: Quatervois

  You hold your left hand up against the glass of the window. The setting sun catches the diamond of your ring, creating lines of rainbow light. It gives the impression your whole hand is sparkling. You smile. It's only a modest sized diamond set against a pale gold band. But it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

   "Something out there I should be jealous of?"

   Arms encircle your waist. A warm body presses against you from behind.

   "'Out there'"?" you echo playfully. "Oh, I suppose there is a lovely ocean view. I hadn't noticed."

    Felix rests his chin on your shoulder to see what's caught your attention.

    "You know, I really ought to get you another one. Something better. With a diamond you can actually see."

   You spin around in Felix's arms.

   "Don't you dare. I love it. It's perfect."

   Felix glances at your hand now resting against his chest. He frowns at the ring slightly.

    "Hardly perfect. It's ridiculously small. It barely counts as an engagement ring."

   You wrinkle your nose at him. "Then why did you pick it in the first place?"

   A hot blush creeps up Felix's cheeks, a sight you find intensely amusing.

   "There's a face I don't see often,” you laugh softly.

   A change comes over Felix. His eyes widen, and he leans away from you, dropping his arms. He peers into your face intently as if he's seen something he doesn't like. You’re worried you must have offended him.

   "I wasn't poking fun," you assure him soothingly. You close the distance he’s created between you, reaching up to take his still heated cheek in your palm. "I like it. Makes you look younger."

   Felix's eyes soften. "Do I look old then?"

   "Far too old for me." You shake your head in mock concern. "What my friends will say when they discover I've eloped with my prefect, I can't imagine." Your face suddenly clouds. "Why did we elope? Was there a reason? I mean, it was lovely little chapel, but it would have been nice to have my friends there. And Mrs Weasley will be so disappointed when she finds out.”

   Felix swallows. “The war, remember?” He hides his face in the crook of your neck. “Everyone choosing sides. We didn't want them to be uncomfortable."

   "Oh. Right."

   On some level you're aware this doesn't make sense. But the vibrations against your throat send lightning through your body. The answer no longer seems important. You run your hands through Felix's hair as he places hot, slow kisses up your neck, under your chin. When he reaches your lips he murmurs against them: "Let me buy you a new ring. Please."

   You shake your head. Your nose nuzzles his with each small movement. "No. This is the one I want."

   You’re at a loss for how this sweet statement could cause your new husband to look so unhappy.

  -

   "Not again! That's the second time this week!"

   The sudden exclamation startles you from your reverie. You lift your head from its resting place against your hand. You’re in the Burrow's kitchen with an irate Mrs Weasley, not a villa in Nice with Felix. The sun setting outside the window had brought the memory back.

   Mrs Weasley wads the offensive letter up and throws it into the fire.

   "I mean really, and at the last minute, too. So inconsiderate. I suppose that sort of thing is acceptable in France, but you'd think manners would be the same everywhere, wouldn't you? Pass me that cutting board, dear."

   You rise from your chair and reach up to pull the cutting board from a high shelf. You could easily retrieve it with magic, but you need the distraction. It's precisely the reason you've moved to the Burrow. Mrs Weasley's strict regimen of conversation and domestic work keeps your mind from wandering. Most of the time.

   You offer Mrs Weasley the cutting board, then lean against the counter. You force yourself to pay attention to her diatribe.

   “I'm sure it's a phase, but I do hope it will pass soon. Once he grows out of that hair and that earring," Mrs Weasley shudders. "And that's really the most telling, isn't it? Any woman who likes that sort of thing can’t possibly be any good. You don't approve of it, surely?"

   You look up from where your gaze has fallen to your hand and shake your head vigorously.

   Her opinions safely confirmed, Mrs Weasley returns to the cutting board. She directs her wand to a veritable army of knives that begin dicing vegetables with gusto. "Like I say, very telling. Bill never used to be like this. He would never have dreamed of sending an owl last minute saying he wouldn't be at dinner. I mean really! What if we'd had something important to discuss? What if-"

   You stare at the ring on your finger. It's the same one from your memory: a single, small diamond, a band of pale gold. Humble, but an auror's salary isn’t high. And this is definitely the ring Talbott had given you.

   You relish the ability to call this memory to mind. You, dusting the curtains in your cheery flat when Talbott suddenly appears behind you. He presses a small blue box wordlessly into your hands. Your heart stops when you open it.

   Talbott isn't one for material gifts. You never ask them of him. You had intended, once you were married, to find a simple wedding band to indicate your new status. For Talbott to think of it himself means more than you can say in words. Instead, you spend a long, fervid night showing him.

   You close your eyes, savouring the echoes of bliss reverberating through your body. Until a question wheedles its way in like a leech.

   Why would Felix have pretended the ring was his? Even for a second? It didn't fit Felix's extravagant style at all. He hadn't been happy with it, that much is clear from your newly remembered honeymoon scene. So why didn't he remove it after obliviating you? Replace it with another?

   The inconsistency bothers you. Against your better judgment, you tentatively prod your brain for an explanation. But while your memories from before the fateful spell all seem to be intact, the days immediately after remain fuzzy.

     "...talking about visiting her family, and it's much too soon for that. Imagine going all the way to France for a girl he's really only known a short time. I didn't meet Arthur's family until..."

   You shake your head firmly, clearing it of unwanted thoughts. You'll never understand what Felix did. You're not supposed to be thinking about him, anyway. You straighten, and interrupt Mrs Weasley mid-sentence.

   "Can I do something to help, Mrs Weasley?"

   "Oh," Mrs Weasley stops abruptly. "Well, I really only have the potatoes left to mash, and that’s just -"    

   "I'll do it.”

   You walk to the sink before Mrs Weasley can argue. A pot of peeled and boiled potatoes waits expectantly. You tap the masher with your wand and set it to work with vigour. You can feel Mrs Weasley's eyes on you, but you keeps yours fixed to the sink.

   After a moment, Mrs Weasley returns to her knives, now scraping the diced vegetables into a bowl. "You know, I was thinking," she says in an airy, would-be-casual voice that instantly puts you on your guard. "I'd planned for four, and it would be a shame to let all this extra food go to waste. Why not invite your young man to dinner?"

    The masher spins wildly in the pot, spilling potatoes over the side before you can correct it. Mrs Weasley continues as though she hasn’t noticed.

   "It's been some time since you last saw him. And goodness knows, he looks like he could use a solid meal. What he must be eating without anyone to take care of him..."

   You remember the assorted debris of take-away strewn about your old flat's kitchen table. A short stab of pain punctures your lungs. Imagining Talbott alone in the ruins of the home you once shared robs you of air.

   "Y/N, the masher!"

    "What?"

   You look up to find the masher dancing across the counter, trailing potato in its wake. You break the enchantment and return it to the pot, then reach for a dish towel. You try to mop up the soggy potato droppings, but your vision is blurred by tears.

   The dish towel is plucked gently from your fingers. You look up through wet eyes to find Mrs Weasley peering at you in concern.

   "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to press. I understand if you need more time to-"

   "It's not that, Mrs Weasley," you say, through sniffs. "I just...I... I miss him. I miss everything."

   "You know, dear," Mrs Weasley says delicately, "Arthur and I have had our fair share of rows. Why, I remember one in our seventh year, nearly ended us. I couldn't eat a bite for weeks. But, there's never a problem two people can't solve if they're just willing to talk through it."

   You sigh heavily, wiping your hand across your eyes. You let yourself sink into a kitchen chair.

   "Talbott doesn't talk, Mrs Weasley. I'm the one who always solves these sorts of problems. I've never minded, but this time...this time I just don't know how."

   Mrs Weasley flicks her wand at the masher. It resumes its duties at a more stately pace, and she draws the chair next to yours.

   "Talbott is a good man, dear. A bit strange, and - well, I do admit, I'd rather hoped you and Charlie would...well...that doesn't matter now - what I mean to say is Talbott loves you. I'm sure he doesn't expect everything to be just the way it was all at once. But you have to start somewhere or it'll never come right."

   You worry your lip between your teeth. You don’t know what Talbott thinks of you right now, and you’re afraid to find out. But Mrs Weasley's arguments chip away at your fear. You do want to see him again. And Talbott is unlikely to come find you himself.

   "I suppose I might...send him an owl."

   Mrs Weasley's smile is so bright it hurts to look at it.

   "Really? Oh, that's wonderful! I'm so thrilled. Here, let me do it. You go get dressed!"

   "What?"

   "Well, you can't let him see you in that!"

   You look down at your clothes: an old house dress of Mrs Weasley's and a jumper of Charlie's, both extremely baggy.

   "Mrs Weasley, Talbott's seen me in just about everything."

   "Yes, well, a little bit of effort never hurt. In fact, why don't I pop down to Diagon Alley before the shops close and pick up some of those delightful little cakes he liked so much last Christmas. I'll send the owl on the way. Now go!"

    It's useless to argue with Mrs Weasley when she's in this state. You climb the stairs, listening to her chatter to herself as she pulls on a travelling shawl. For the first time in days, you manage a weak smile.

-

   You spend a few minutes prodding your wand across an old summer dress from Mrs Weasley's school days. You've never excelled at the sort of charms Andre used to transform clothes into something magical, but you do your best. The end result, if not exactly fashionable, doesn't look as though two of you might fit in it. You run a brush through the tangled knots in your hair, and, after a minute's debate, decide in favour of lipstick.

    You feel distinctly foolish.

    It makes no sense to be dressing yourself up to meet the man you've lived with since you left school. Even less so to be this self-conscious about it. But Mrs Weasley's excitement has apparently infected you. Your stomach is full of swarming butterflies. It reminds you of your very first date with Talbott.

   You cross to the looking-glass and inspect yourself critically. While you may feel like a teenager again, your reflection shows quite a bit more wear. Your face is pinched and wan, like someone recovering from a long illness. You lean in closer, practicing a smile. Something moves in the corner of the glass.

   You whirl around, fumbling for your wand. The room is empty. It must have a been a trick of the light. Instinct puts you on your guard, however, and you inspect the room again, more slowly. As your eyes pass the window, you catch a glimpse of something moving in the yard. You blink, and look again, unwilling to believe your eyes.

   Felix is picking his way across the long grass, surveying the Burrow with a mixture of distaste and apprehension.

   Your brain stalls. Thoughts peter out as soon as they begin. You don't know what to do, what to think, what to feel.

   Felix glances up. You know he can see your silhouette in the window. It's in the way his rich brown eyes suddenly catch fire.

   "Y/N, I know you're there," Felix calls softly. "I just want to talk to you. Please."

   A battle begins inside you. Part of you wants to hurl a curse out the window at Felix. Part of you wants to hide under the bed. But neither of these are in charge of your feet. You're walking out of the room and down the stairs before your brain catches up to what you're doing. It stops you just before you reach the kitchen door. You can't really be considering this. Felix has proven exactly what he's capable of. Walking out there to him is like walking into a snake pit.

   Only this time, you know. You're prepared. You're not the girl of a year ago, naively believing she could be just friends with a Rosier. Nor are you his thrall. Your head is as clear as it's ever been. And you have things you want to say. You clench your hand firmly around your wand, and step outside.

   You keep your eyes on your feet as you walk. Just taking even steps requires considerable effort. You stop when you see Felix's shoes. It's several seconds before you're able to raise your gaze to his, and then it takes all your self-control to keep your jaw from dropping.

   You've never seen Felix this worse for wear. His robes are so rumpled he might have slept in them. His hair is untidy, his nails unclean. There are circles under his eyes as dark as bruises.

   Pity, and something else you refuse to name, well up inside your throat. The desire to put your arms around him, to stroke his cheek or straighten his hair, anything to fix his face into something less pained, is overwhelming. You hate yourself for it. You quickly recite every terrible thing Felix has done in your head. But you've never been able to stay angry with Felix when he looks at you like that.

   "Y/N." Felix says your name like a prayer. You will your heart not to break. You keep your voice as expressionless as possible.

   "What do you want?"

   "I - I just want to talk," Felix repeats. "To ex-explain."  His impassive mask slips as he stutters. For some reason, this display of nerves inspires you with confidence.

   "I already heard your explanations. What else could you possibly have to say?"

   Felix rubs his palms against his trousers.

   'That wasn't - I mean - I didn't get to...to say everything I needed to. It was all so..."  You don't think you've ever seen Felix so lost for words. You grip your wand tighter to stop your hand reaching for him. "I didn't get to explain myself clearly. Explain what happened. Why I...I did what I did."

   At these words, your desire erupts into rage. It's almost a relief to finally feel it. You let it boil your blood, vibrate in your limbs. You clench your fist around your wand so tight your knuckles turn white. As if the immensity of Felix's crimes could be summed up in a few simple words.

   "You mean, why you obliviated me? Why you erased Talbott from my memories and ruined both our lives?" The bitterness that's festered inside you for weeks spews forth like lava. "You lied to me, Felix! You let me feel like I was going mad! You forced me to marry you, and then kept me locked in your house like a-"

   "But I didn't!" Felix's cry is anguished. It only fuels your fury.

   "How...dare you! How can you really think I'm that stupid? That I would fall for that? I remember everything Felix! I heard you admit it, and I know I'm not insane. Denying what you've done won't change anything, it just makes you look pathetic.”

   Felix flinches as if your word were a curse.

   "I'm not denying what I did. I did...obliviate you. And I did lie. But...I didn't force you to marry me."

   "Just because you didn't hold a wand to my head doesn't mean I wasn't forced. You can't get out of this on semantics."

   "I'm not trying to get out of anything," Felix says quickly. He looks up, staring at a point just near your ear. "Look, I made you forget him...Talbott. I thought...without him to worry about or pressuring you to stay...I could convince you to run. Go visit your relatives in America. But I-I don't know...maybe the spell went wrong. I've never used a memory charm before. But you seemed to forget everything. You weren't sure who you were, or where you were. I was terrified."

   Felix takes a step closer. You know you should stop him, but you're hooked to his words. Your anger flounders as you struggle to find this memory, to prove Felix is lying yet again. But all you remember is Felix's wand pointed at you...then nothing.

   "I didn't know what to do," Felix continues. "I couldn't just leave you there, or - or send you to another country while you didn't even know your own name. So I...I took you home. With me. I thought...maybe I could figure out a way to undo it. Or something. I don't know, I never had to find out. When you woke the next morning, you were better. Or at least, you knew who you were and who I was. But...I suppose the spell had worked because you didn't remember...Talbott." Felix's fingers twist at his sides. "But then you - you saw the ring and you asked if... we were...engaged."

   You look down at the diamond ring on your hand. Something in the way it catches the light reminds you of a moment in the Rosier kitchen: leaning against the butcher's table, your head pounding, a fog across your senses; Felix standing in front of you, as nervous as he is now. You hear your voice ask a question, and you hear Felix's response...

   "I didn't know what to say! I didn't know how to explain the ring without mentioning Talbott, and I didn't know what else you remembered or-or how you felt about me. I just...I wanted you. I've always wanted you, so I...I said-"

   " 'Only if you want to be'."

   Felix's eyes meet yours. There's a soft, eager light in them, as if the memory is something he cherishes.

   "You...remember that?"

   'I didn't until just now."

   You stare at the Felix in front of you, but your mind is faraway. Back in the kitchen, watching Felix wait for your answer. You stood there, your aching mind picking through its tangled memories, sorting through all your moments with Felix. The way he'd always been there for you at school. The way his seriousness made you laugh, and his little touches made you shiver. The decision was as easy as breathing.

   "I said, yes," you whisper into the air.

   Felix says nothing. He only nods.

   The emotions writhing within you evaporate. Anger, desire, everything you've felt toward Felix is suddenly missing. Wind blows, and it sounds like a foreign language. The world around you is as unfamiliar and threatening as a different planet. You don't know how to exist in it. You can only stand, frozen and unsure.

   After a minute of silence, Felix continues.

   "I know I shouldn't have let you believe it, or - or let it go as far as I did. I should have sent you to America, like I meant to. But... I couldn't help it. I love you. I always have." Felix's hand jerks oddly, as if he meant to take yours before thinking better of it."I told myself it was better this way. That you were safer with me. But...you were right. I did it for myself, and I - I'm sorry. I know it doesn't fix anything, but I am. And, I want...to make it up to you."

   This time, Felix lets his hand reach for yours. You make no move to stop him. He strokes your limp fingers delicately, as if they were made of glass.

   "I made a mistake, and I - I hate what it's done to you. But I love you, Y/N. You can't pretend I don't. And if you'll let me, I'll spend my life making it up to you."

   You can only stare. Your brain has forgotten how to form words. Felix is just beginning to look concerned, when the door to the Burrow's kitchen opens with a bang. The sound breaks your spell, and you rip your hand away.

   "Get - off - my - land!"

   Mr Weasley marches across the grass toward you, Mrs Weasley and Talbott in his wake. Mr Weasley's wand is stretched out in front of him, but Talbott gets there first. He sends a quick, silent hex flying across the yard. Felix has no time to block it. He throws himself to the ground to avoid the red light, then rolls into a crouch, wand at the ready.

   "Come inside, Y/N, quickly!" Mrs Weasley grabs your arm and yanks you away. You let her drag you back toward the Burrow. Your legs are too weak to walk on their own. You watch Talbott hurl spell after spell at Felix, who blocks them as he beats a hasty retreat. He reaches the edge of the Weasley property, and with a last glance in your direction, disapparates.

-

   "Sit here, dear. Let me make a cup of tea." Mrs Weasley pushes you into a chair. "I should never have left you alone, I can't believe I-"

   Her prattle is interrupted by the slam of the kitchen door. Talbott tumbles inside, breathing heavily, still clutching his wand. His head swivels until he finds you.

   "Why was he here?"

   It's the first time in weeks you've stared into Talbott's yellow-gold eyes. They're flashing like you've never seen. You search for your voice. Your brain is still racing.

   "What was he doing here, Y/N?"

  Talbott stalks closer, his movements rigid. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. You have no frame of reference for Talbott angry with you.

   Mrs Weasley clears her throat. "Now really, Talbott, I don't think that's-"

   "He just...came to talk." Your voice is a low rasp, but it cuts cleanly through Mrs Weasley's protests.

   "To talk?"

   "Yes."

   A feral sort of growl escapes Talbott's throat. He turns, kneading the back of his neck viciously. He paces to the kitchen door, then back again, like a caged animal. It's almost frightening. But you're sick of feeling confusion and fear, and you're sick of feeling sorry. You'd rather be angry some more. You stand, letting the rage you couldn't finish venting on Felix flow through you again.

   "So you talked?” Talbott spits the words, each syllable tight and clipped. "You talked to him after everything he's done? After you know what he is? He's a Death Eater, Y/N, and a liar. That's who you want to talk to?”

   "At least he cared enough to come find me - unlike you." Your words shock Talbott into stillness. “I just disappear, you get some letter that doesn't even sound like me, and you just write me off as lost?"

   Talbott is rooted to the floor. He can't move, even as you advance on him.

   "What Felix did was terrible, Talbott. But he did it because he loves me."

   "You want me to do something terrible to prove I love you?"

   "I just want you to do something!"

   Talbott's nostrils flare. His upper lip twitches like he's holding back a sneer.

   "So, you'd like me better if I were more like Felix Rosier? If I kidnapped you? Cast spells on you to make you do what I want, like a puppet?"

   "I wasn't a puppet!" Your vision blurs red, and you lose all control of your tongue. “Felix didn't force me to marry him, Talbott, I wanted to! When I didn't remember you anymore, I realised I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him. That's what he came for. To remind me of that."

   The ghost of your words lingers in the kitchen for several minutes, each as long as years. Talbott's face is entirely blank. Mrs Weasley's hands are clapped over her mouth in horror. You don't care. Saying it out loud releases a weight from your shoulders. It leaves you light-headed and exhausted.

   "So...you do love him."

   It isn't a question. Talbott's voice is resigned. Guilt tugs at your heart, but you can't really feel it. You're too tired to feel much of anything.

   "I don't know. I don't know...anything anymore." You fall into the nearest chair. You drop your head into your hands, your eyelids heavy. "I feel like I'm two different people. Like I've lived two different lives. I was happy in both of them, but... I don't know which one I am now. Maybe neither. I don't know how to choose."

   Talbott blinks. It draws curtains over his molten eyes.

   "You don't have to choose."

   He turns and walks away from you, without a backward glance.

-

   There's no reunion dinner that night. Mrs Weasley sends you straight up to bed. You hear her and Mr Weasley conversing in low tones into the wee hours of the morning. You pull the pillow over your head. You don't want to hear what they're saying about you.

   It's two days before you're ready to rejoin the rest of the world. Another before you can eat and drink again properly. One more day, and you're participating in conversation, if only to nod or say, "Of course, Mrs Weasley." By the end of the week, you're as close to normal as you were before Felix's unexpected visit.

   The days don't bring you any closer to an answer, but they do bring you further from heartache. You find it's easier to turn your mind from memories of Felix now you've confessed your love out loud.  It's as if the feeling has lost power over you. Each day, the loss of him hurts slightly less.

   The hardest part of your life now is how little you can do for the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore's task for you reminds you unpleasantly of your school days: to lay low and let others handle it. You would happily ignore this if you thought you might be useful, but the truth is, you don't know how to help. There's no mystery to solve, no secrets to uncover. Just ones to protect.

   Still, you attend each meeting, week after week. You help Mrs Weasley with the dinner beforehand and the cleaning afterward. You pay attention to the news that's shared. You contribute what insight your experiences offer.

   But mostly you watch Talbott.

   Talbott attends almost every meeting, but you never speak and he never approaches. He sits as close to the door as he can manage, and bolts the moment the meeting ends. He's careful never to turn his eyes on you. You watch him just the same. It’s so long since you’ve been in his presence without something horrible happening. Every movement he makes is mesmerizing, the way it always was at school. His sharp nods, his slow blinks, the tapping of his finger against the table you're sure he's unaware of.

   You miss Talbott, you realise. Or maybe you just miss the part of your life he represents; the life you built together. The damage done to it seems irreparable. Though you spend many nights wracking your brain, you can think of no way to fix it.

   Talbott may choose to ignore your eyes on him, but Mrs Weasley does not. She, at least, is not content to watch and wonder. She renews her encouragements that the two of you talk. She attempts to seat you together at meetings. You deflect her machinations as best you can, but Mrs Weasley won't be thwarted forever.

   One evening she insists on arriving at Grimmauld Place earlier than usual. "It's a large meeting tonight, dear," she explains, a little too airily, "so we'll need to start dinner early. And I promised Sirius I would take a look at the drawing room curtains, he thinks the doxies are moving back in."

   Sirius is sitting at the end of the kitchen table when the two of you enter. You call a soft greeting, but he merely lifts a hand and grunts. He's staring at a notebook on the table in front of him, as if waiting for words to appear in it. You light a fire with your wand and set water to boil, then begin chopping onions.

   As you work, you notice Mrs Weasley shoot furtive glances at the clock. Her attitude is strangely expectant. Something about her nervous energy raises your hackles. When the doorbell clangs, you have a sneaking suspicion who it might be.

   "I'll get it!" she says with entirely too much enthusiasm. You narrow your eyes at her as she leaves.

   "Bit early, isn't it?" grumbles Sirius. You don't reply. You're listening hard to catch the sounds from the floor above. You hear the front door open, and the murmur of low voices. Your heart stutters as you recognise them both. Mrs Weasley returns to the kitchen with a stiff Talbott in tow. Her face is practically glowing.

   "I'm so sorry, dear, Arthur must have got the times mixed up! The meeting's not for another half hour. We're just getting dinner ready, but there's a good bit to do. Perhaps you might be willing to pitch in?"

   Talbott stops moving when he notices you. His head darts about the room, searching for an escape. There's a twinge of heartache at seeing him so desperate to get away from you. You turn back to the onions, face burning.

   You hear Talbott mumble something about not being much good in the kitchen. Mrs Weasley ignores this entirely.

   "Oh, just a bit of slicing. Nothing too difficult! A simple severing charm will work if you're uncomfortable with a knife."

   Mrs Weasley drops a cutting board and several loaves of bread on the table. Even with your eyes down, you can see Talbott's hands in your peripheral vision. You wield your knife with extra care, worried you might sever one of your own jittery fingers.

   The only sound in the room is the dull thud of blades on wood. After a minute, Mrs Weasley speaks into the awkward silence.

   "Well, while I have you two here, I think I'll just pop upstairs and take a look at those curtains. Sirius," she calls, and you hear Sirius stir. "Why don't you show me which room they're in?"

   "It's the curtains in the drawing room, Molly."

   "Why don't you show me," Mrs Weasley says slowly behind a clenched smile. You can't see her face, but you're sure her eyes are boring into Sirius. He must have taken the hint. You hear his chair being pushed back hastily.

   "Oh! Right, of course. I'll show you."

   You close your eyes in a plea for patience. You're not sure whether you want to laugh or cry or throw an onion at Mrs Weasley's retreating back. When you open them again, Talbott is watching you. He looks away as soon as your eyes meet.

   How long has it been since you were this close to Talbott? Close enough that you could reach across and touch his cheek, if you wanted. If you were still allowed.

   Something changes in the room. It takes you a minute to realise what. The sporadic sound of Talbott's knife has stopped. You glance up and find him staring at your hand. You see thoughts race behind his molten eyes.

   "What's wrong?" you ask softly, and feel instantly foolish. What isn't wrong in Talbott's life at the moment? You don't expect him to answer, but after a quick gulp he says, "Your ring." He nods at the naked skin of your fourth finger.

   Your blush is almost painful. It's been so long since you wore your engagement ring, you've actually forgotten to miss it.

   "I...took it off. It didn't feel right...under the circumstances."

   Talbott doesn't reply. His head moves in something that might be a nod or a twitch. His eyes return to his cutting board.

   You work in silence. A silence you grow quickly to hate. It feels ridiculous to be this uncomfortable around the man you've known for years, a man you know better than anyone else. You used to be able to read his silences so well, interpret meaning from his every change in posture. But you suppose you're both different people now. Each unsure what the other is thinking.

   The tension reminds you of something. When you remember what it is, you can't stop a small chuckle. Talbott's head jerks up, eyes registering alarm.

   "Do you remember when we first met?"

   Talbott only blinks.

   "At the start of third year?" you remind him. "When I decided I wanted to become an animagus, and Tulip said I ought to talk to you?"

   "I remember," Talbott says. After a beat he adds, "Why?"

   "I was just thinking...I think that's the last time I was this nervous to talk to you."

   Talbott's eyes shed some of their armor. You catch a glimpse of the man you remember underneath.

   "Why were you nervous to talk to me?"

   "You were so...intimidating." You smile. It's a rusty, disused expression on your face now. "And you looked like the last thing in the world you wanted to do was talk to me.  I was sure you must not like me for some reason."

   It had taken so much courage to seat yourself at the Ravenclaw table that day. You'd defeated a cursed vault, battled yetis and werewolves, and Talbott's piercing gaze had made you more nervous than any of them.

   You return to chopping, but Talbott remains still.

   "I did like you. I'd fancied you since first year."

   The knife slices cleanly through the pad of your finger. Drops of blood sprinkle the onions, but you barely notice. You're looking at Talbott in wonder.

   "You never told me that."

   "Your finger." Talbott nods at your bleeding hand.

   "Why did you never tell me that?"

   Talbott doesn't answer. He walks around the table toward you. Your heart beats louder with each step. He pries the knife from your suddenly clenched fist, and takes your bleeding hand in his. He taps his wand to your wound and murmurs a spell. The skin seals back up flawlessly. Talbott returns his wand to his pocket, but he doesn't release your hand.

   Your gaze is drawn to his face by an impulse you can't control. Talbott's molten eyes are on your mouth. You watch his lips part, his tongue wet them nervously. But he doesn't speak. He doesn't move. You recognise the symptoms. You know he's trapped in his head. There's no parchment or quill to hand, but that tradition really belongs to two different people.

   You lean in to Talbott's face until your lips are a breath apart. You pause, waiting for permission. Talbott hesitates, and your heart stops. Then he closes the narrow space between you. Your lips meet, then meet again. You had forgotten what it feels like to kiss Talbott, or maybe it was never like this before. Your lips tingle, and your skin crawls with desire to be touched. Talbott's mouth is careful, almost reluctant, as if he's sure you'll be gone in a moment. You want to promise him you won't be, but neither of you could believe that now.

   When Talbott doesn't draw you to him the way you're used to, you pull away. You search his face for answers. Yellow-gold eyes meet yours, begging for something you don't understand. You've always been the one to figure out the next move, but this time you need his help.

   "Talbott." Your voice is a whisper. "What do we do now?"

   "I don't know," Talbott murmurs. He closes his eyes so you can't see him think.

   "I don't know how to fix this," you admit softly.

   You lower your gaze to your hands. Your fingers are still twined together.

   "Maybe you can't."

   You look up, your heart horribly still. "Is that...what you want?"

   Talbott untangles his fingers from yours.

   "I want you to be happy. Even...if that's not with me."

   You don't know what to say. You open your mouth hoping the right words will appear on their own, when he kitchen door bangs open.

   Talbott jumps away from you as if hexed. You look up, expecting to see Mrs Weasley.

   It's Professor Snape. By itself, this isn't unusual. Snape is a member of the Order, and he attends every meeting he cannot avoid. It isn't his presence that's cause for concern, it's his unfamiliar expression: one of pale fear. A look you've never seen on the forbidding Professor. The implication leaves you cold. If something has happened to worry Snape...

    "What's wrong, Professor?" you ask.

   "Potter," and even Snape's voice is missing its usual sneer. "Where is Black?"

-

  You must look ridiculous, you think to yourself, sprinting through the Ministry for Magic alongside Talbott and Sirius in a sundress of all things. At school, there was always time to dress carefully before running into danger. But Harry Potter and his friends are trapped in the Department of Mysteries, and you're determined to help, no matter what you're wearing.

   "What are they doing here?" Mad-Eye Moody addresses Talbott as the three of you reach the lifts. "They can't be here. They're not aurors."

   Both you and Sirius begin to argue at once. Your recitation of all the dark wizards and dangerous creatures you've defeated is drowned by Sirius' roars of, "I'm his godfather!" Your words reverberate through the huge, empty chamber until Moody slams his staff against the ground for silence.

   "There's no time. Just get in!"

   The four of you squeeze into the lift where Kingsley Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin, and Tonks are already waiting. The small space throbs with tension as the lift makes its impassively slow descent.

   "Isn't there another way?" Sirius barks, slapping his wand against his leg.

   "No," says Kingsley shortly.

   Moody shuffles about to fix his normal, beady eye on you.

   "Seeing as neither of you are aurors, and you ought not to be here in the first-"

   "I am Harry's godfather!"

   "Then make him your responsibility!" Moody snaps at Sirius. "You, Remus, and Y/N: find the students and get them out. Leave the Death Eaters to us."

   You give a sharp nod. Talbott shifts uncomfortably next to you.

   The lift finally settles. Your party is out and running before the doors click shut behind you. Moody leads the way through the Department of Mysteries labyrinth, a strange instrument in the hand not holding his wand apparently providing him directions.

   "This way!" he calls, leading the group through another door.

   Adrenaline courses through you as you run. It's a feeling as familiar as your old school robes. This is your element. For the first time in so long, you’re unburdened by confusion or indecision. When you burst through a door to find black-robed figures surrounding two students, you know exactly what to do.

   In front of you, the aurors advance on the Death Eaters. Their spells fill the room with light and sound. You wait until the Death Eaters have turned to face this new threat, then descend toward the dark-haired boys, yanking them into a crouch behind a stone step.

   "Where are the others?"

   You have to shout to be heard over the noise of the duelling around you. The boy with glasses - Harry Potter, you realise by the scar - rips his eyes away from the fight.  

   "Up there! They're still in that other room." He gestures at a different door than the one you entered through. "The girls are all unconscious, I think. And Ron - one of those brain things got him. You have to help them!"

   You twist around, searching for Sirius or Lupin. Sirius is a few rows down, a wide grin on his face as he duels. Lupin, you don't see at all. You cast about for threats, but the boys don't appear to be in immediate danger.

   "Stay here," you order them, feeling a bit of a hypocrite. "Wands out, heads down."

   Keeping your body low to minimise your target, you sprint up the stairs. None of the Death Eaters have a glance to spare for you, and you make it to the door unmolested. Before you push through it, you can't help but look back, scanning the fight for yellow-gold eyes.

   Talbott is dueling a Death Eater nearly twice his girth. You watch, transfixed. You've never seen Talbott move like this. He's usually twitchy, better in the air than on his feet. Now, as he duels, his movements are smooth and precise. He twists to avoid a purple spell, then spins back, sending a stunner of his own. It catches the Death Eater in the chest, and he drops instantly. In spite of everything, you grin.

   As if able to feel your gaze, Talbott's eyes find yours across the room. You nod your head at the door to indicate your direction. Then, with a last look at Talbott, you hurtle through.

-

   Desks and shelves and heavy tables indicate the room is some sort of office. Only every single piece of furniture is now overturned or collapsed. You step with caution, but still manage to slip. The floor is slick with liquid. You notice strange, jelly-like objects floating in the shallow pools - the brains Harry Potter had mentioned? You take care to avoid them as you search for signs of the students.

    "Hello?" you call softly. There's no answer.

   You reach the middle of the room and survey your surroundings. There's a door just ahead; another to the side. You're considering which is more likely when you hear shallow breathing nearby. You ready your wand, then hesitate. It could be one of the students, hiding from you. Ron or Ginny would know you right away, but not the others.

   "It's alright," you call again. "I'm here to get you out. I'm a friend. I'm with the Order."

   "Well, hello, Friend with the Order."

   You whirl around. A tall figure in a black hood emerges from behind a fallen cabinet. Without pause for thought you yell, "Stupefy!" but he easily sidesteps the spell. You cast a quick shield charm, blocking his return attack, then steady yourself for another. But the Death Eater hesitates. His hood flicks to a space over your left shoulder. On instinct, you dive to the side. Red sparks explode through the air where your body had been, thrown by a second Death Eater behind you. His spell hits the other masked figure in the arm and he howls in rage and pain.

   "Watch where you're aiming!" he snarls, clutching his injury.

    You use the second's distraction to throw yourself behind a desk. You lean back against it, breathing through your nose and thinking past your racing heartbeat. The wreckage of furniture forms an almost unbroken wall for several metres. If you can just make it around without them noticing...

   One of the Death Eaters shouts a curse. Red light slams your hiding spot into the wall with a crash. But you're already two desks away, flat against the floor and crawling carefully. Your dress snags as you press close to the wall of splintered wood.

   "Just kill her!"

   "Rosier said not to kill until we're sure Malfoy has the prophecy. You want to go back to the Dark Lord empty-handed?"

   "That's the students, not the Order members.'

   These words make your heart stutter horribly. Your hand slips on the wet floor.

   "Over there!"

   Heavy footfalls sound nearby. You straighten, but only make it to your knees before two hooded figures loom over the desk. There's time to aim a stunning spell at only one. The Death Eater you hit drops instantly, but your stomach still clenches in dread. The other's wand is pointed at your face and his spell is already half voiced.

   "Avada-"

   You throw yourself flat, your only hope that the spell might miss. You hold your breath, waiting for bright green light.

   But the rest of the curse never comes. There’s the thud of a body hitting the floor. Then rapid footsteps. You roll over quickly, wand at the ready.

   "Y/N?"

   Felix's black hood is thrown back. His rich brown eyes gaze down at you, swimming in fear and relief. You squeeze your own shut to stop yourself staring. It's been so long since you've seen that expression, you'd forgotten how much you missed it. Or maybe you've never been so glad to see it. You take in large gulps of air, trying to catch your breath.

   "Are you alright? What are you doing here?“

   Felix's panicked words remind your of your mission. You push yourself up with a groan, skin smarting where it's smacked the hard floor. Felix bends hastily, holding out a hand. You hesitate for only a second before letting him pull you to your feet.

   It's a moment before either of you can speak. Felix inspects you from head to toe, presumably searching for injuries. You straighten your dress, trying to hide your blush. You wish you were wearing something more substantial.

   "I...thank you...I guess," you say at last, to your shoes. You're not quite ready to look Felix in the face.

   Felix doesn't answer. You lift your gaze, head buzzing with nerves, and catch him staring at your hand.

   "You're...not wearing your ring," Felix says haltingly. An eager light flickers briefly in his eyes. "Are you and Talbott...not-"

   Your face contorts in annoyance. You cross your arms to hide your hand.

   "Is this really the time?"

   Shaking his head as if to clear it, Felix answers, "No. No it's not." Hints of concern reform on his features. "Y/N, you have to go. Now."

   "I'm not going anywhere,” you insist hotly. “Not until I find the other students."

   "They're safe. Relatively. As safe as I could manage. If the aurors hurry, they can get them out in time.”

   "What do you mean, as safe as you can manage?"

   "We have them rounded up in another room," Felix explains rapidly, eyes darting nervously to the doors. "I convinced the others we could use them as leverage, so they're not about to be killed. I'll make sure the aurors finds them, I promise. Just trust me."

   At the word We, you can't suppress a shiver. It isn't the pleasant sort of shiver Felix usually inspires.

   "Trust you?" you repeat, adjusting your grip on your wand. "You're a Death Eater, Felix."

   Felix makes a noise of exasperation. He shuffles in place, as if desperate to be gone.

   "That doesn't mean I want students to be killed. I'm not a murderer."

   "How could I know? You've already proven you're more than willing to lie to me when it suits you."

   "That was to keep you safe! " Felix almost shouts in frustration. "Exactly what I'm trying to do now!"

   He makes a sudden movement as if to grab your shoulders. You jump back, wand lifting on instinct. Felix freezes. He eyes your wand, and perhaps you're only imagining hurt in the lines of his face. When he speaks again, his words are fast and strained.

   "Y/N, I made a mistake. An awful mistake, and I'm paying for it every day I'm not with you. Every day I wake up and realise I have - have nothing." Felix's voice cracks briefly. "I know I deserve that. I deserve for you not to trust me. But you have to believe that all I want in the world is get you out of here alive."

    You wish you didn't believe him. It would make everything so much easier. But in spite of his crimes, your instinct about Felix hasn't changed. You can't imagine him ever doing anything to hurt you. On purpose, anyway.

   "If that's true," you say softly, "Then help me get the students out. Because I'm not going anywhere until I do."

   It's clear from Felix's grimace how much he dislikes this plan. He runs desperate fingers through his hair, searching for cracks in your resolute expression. But your face remains firm. Felix is finally forced to sigh.

   "Alright. Follow me."

-

   Felix leads you through the twisting labyrinth of rooms and corridors, most showing evidence of a fight. Doors are splintered or hang off hinges, and you have to watch your feet to avoid scattered piles of broken glass. You're just beginning to be concerned about how far in you are when Felix stops outside a heavy, un-battered door. A low mutter of voices carries from inside.

   "Stay here," Felix whispers. Catching sight of your raised eyebrows, he adds, "Please. There are guards. I'll need to get rid of them."

   "I can help," you whisper back, but Felix shakes his head. Only your desire to find the students quickly keeps you from further protests. Reluctantly, you lean against the wall out of sight of the door. Felix readjusts his black hood before sweeping into the room.

   As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, you press your ear to the jam. You can hear Felix's footsteps walking away, his voice mingling with the others. You lean in closer, trying to make out the words, until a deafening bang from inside makes you flinch. You hear footsteps again, this time coming closer, running fast across hard floor. You grip the doorknob but hesitate, unsure whether to intervene. 

   Someone shouts an incantation. There's a heavy thud, and a voice cries out in pain. Felix's voice. Without thinking, you grab the handle and fling the door wide.

   It takes you only a second to locate Felix, hood askew and blood dripping from his face, on the floor in the middle of the dimly lit room. Another hooded figure looms over him, wand out and aimed.

   "Stupefy!"

   Your jet of light hits the Death Eater square in the chest. Without waiting to watch him fall, you swing your wand from side to side, searching for enemies. But the only other robed figure you see lies prone beside a door set into the opposite wall.

   Felix groans. You step forward quickly, holding out your hand and helping him struggle to his feet. There's a long, clean gash down the side of his face. You're surprised at how sick the sight of the wound makes you.

   "Are you alright?"

   "I - yes, of course. That was..." Felix rubs the back of his neck, not quite able to meet your eye. "Thank you."

    You're saved from thinking up a reply by a muffled cry from behind. Three girls and a boy, all dressed in Hogwarts robes, are huddled against the wall as if thrown there, each trussed up in snaking, black cords. Only one is awake and struggling.

   "Ginny!"

   You skirt the fallen Death Eater and drop to the ground, using your wand to sever Ginny's bonds. As soon as you tug the cord out of her mouth, Ginny croaks, "Y/N, he's one of them! He's a Death Eater, too!"

   You follow her frantic gaze to Felix, standing awkwardly in the background.

   "It's alright, Ginny. He's a friend."

   Felix blinks, and for a moment his face is filled with the soft joy you love so much to see. Then a door slams.

   Felix whirls around, wand raised, and you're on your feet only a second later. But no attack comes; no spells fly. You glance between the doors on either end of the room, but no new hooded figures appear. Instinct suddenly chills your blood and you scan the floor instead.

   "Where's...the other one?" you ask haltingly.

   Felix's eyes widen as he understands. He shoots a panicked look at the place where the Death Eater had fallen, but his body is nowhere to be seen. Felix sprints to the far door, pressing his ear against it.

   "He...must have gone to get the others."

   Felix runs his wand across the door frame, sealing it with a squelch. You turn back to Ginny, struggling to stand on what looks like a broken ankle. You mutter, "Episkey" and watch the swelling in the ankle subside, then inspect the other three students. It isn't immediately clear what's wrong with them, but none react when you attempt to use magic to wake them.

   "We'll have to carry them," you tell Felix, at your side once more. "You take Ron and I'll get the taller girl. Ginny, do you think you could carry the blonde one? She looks the lightest."

   "This isn't going to work." Something in Felix's voice makes your skin crawl.

   "Why not?”

   "It’s too late. The rest of the Death Eaters will be here in minutes. Even if we use magic to carry them, we'll never make it to the lifts in time."

    A leaden weight sinks in your stomach. There's too much truth in Felix's words for you to deny. You cast about for counterpoints, solutions, some sort of foolproof plan, but your brain comes up short.

   "Well," you say, forcing yourself to breathe through your panic, "We'll just have to try. Maybe there's somewhere we can hide, or-"

   A second slam in as many minutes almost shatters your brittle nerves. You fumble with your wand, aiming it at the door nearest you this time, and almost drop it when you recognise the intruders.

   "Talbott," you breathe in relief. "Tonks, Lupin, thank Merlin! The students are here and we've got to get them out. Now. Death Eaters are on the way..."

   But Talbott's face steals the words from your lips. He's staring at Felix with eyes so molten they might be made of fire. When he speaks, his voice thrums with suppressed hatred.

   "Drop it." Talbott gives a curt nod at Felix's half-raised wand.

   Felix's gaze flicks warily from Talbott to Tonks, her wand also lifted, to Lupin, ignoring the stand-off and kneeling to inspect the unconscious students. You notice all three are pale and grim-faced, and you wonder what else has happened. But there isn't time for questions now.

   "I said, drop it!"

   "Talbott, wait!" You step quickly in between the two men. "Felix led me here. He was keeping the students safe."

   Talbott doesn't even blink. If it weren't for his reply, you'd wonder if he heard you at all.

   "One half-decent act doesn't make him any less of a Death Eater."

   "But he isn't helping the Death Eaters, he's helping us! Helping me. He saved my life from a Death Eater that-"

   "This isn't about you!" Flame flickers in Talbott's eyes. "This isn't about us. This is my job. We're rounding up all the Death Eaters. You'll have to plead his case to Mad-Eye, if that's what you want."

   The thought of trying to convince Mad-Eye Moody to give Felix a second chance makes you blanch. You open your mouth to argue, but this time it's Felix who cuts you off.

   "You won't have to worry about in any of that in a minute. A dozen powerful wizards are on their way through that door." Felix jerks his head toward the other end of the room. "I highly doubt you'll be able to round them all up just the three of you."

   Talbott spares a wary glance at the far door.

   "He's right," Tonks chimes in, her voice uncharacteristically serious. "Let's get the students out first, then come back with Mad-Eye and the others."

   Tonks lowers her wand, and moves to help Lupin with the unconscious teenagers. Lupin has already lifted the taller, bushy-haired girl over his shoulder, and uses his wand to levitate the unconscious Ron. Tonks mirrors his spell on the small, blonde girl. She wraps her free arm around Ginny to help keep weight of her still-tender ankle.

   "We'll never make it at that pace," Felix says darkly, eyeing the careful way Lupin manoeuvres Ron toward the door. "They'll catch us up before we're halfway to the lifts."

   "You're not going anywhere until you drop your wand!" Talbott tries to point his wand around you at Felix, but you move with him, blocking his view. Behind you, Felix snorts.

   "And leave myself unarmed when they all surge in at any second? I've betrayed them! They'll spare me about as much mercy as they will you."

   A soft sound from the far end of the room suddenly stops your heart. All three of you fall silent as you watch the doorknob turn slowly. It rotates each way once, then stills. You hold your breath, braced for another loud slam, but the door remains closed.

   "Tonks," you say into the trembling silence, "You and Lupin, take the students and go."

   Lupin is two steps ahead of you. He has Ron through the door already, and waits impatiently for Tonks. But Tonks looks from you to Talbott uncertainly.

   "I think...we ought to stick together."

   "We'll be right behind you," you say. "We'll give you time to get to the lifts." You try to smile reassuringly, but your mouth doesn't remember how. You can only hope you sound more confident than you look.

   Tonks continues to hesitate, until a hard thud on the opposite door makes her and Ginny both jump.

   "Come on!" Lupin calls from the other room. Tonks shoots a final, unsure look at Talbott before forcing the eerily floating blonde student ahead of her through the door.

   Another thud, then the sound of voices echoes from the other side of the room. The doorknob rattles again, violently this time. The noise seems to shake Talbott from his unswervable anger. His wand wavers before finally abandoning Felix for the far door, his eyes reflecting frantic thought.

    "What spell did you use on the door?" you ask Felix, your voice betraying your nerves. Felix's answer is equally unsteady.

   "It's a variation on an imperturbable charm. But it's not impenetrable. With enough of them, they can break the spell." Felix's head snaps toward you, mouth set in a thin, grim line. "Y/N, you need to leave. Now. Go with the others."

    "That's ridiculous, we stand a better chance with three of us.“

   "He's right." Both you and Felix look at Talbott in shock. For the first time since entering the room, Talbott meets your gaze. "You need to go."

   "I'm not leaving you," you argue, holding Talbott's eyes. You're close enough that you can watch the fire in them melt into liquid, like a churning yellow-gold ocean.

   "Please, Y/N, go." And there's a pain in Talbott's voice like you've never heard. "I can't lose you. Not again."

   Your heart breaks gently at Talbott's confession. Exactly as it had when he first managed to pen those words. You wish you could promise him something, anything to assuage his fear. But the far door is shaking now. You've run out of time. You take a breath, steeling yourself for a last stand, the way you have so many times before. Facing death is nothing new for you, but you don't want anything to be left unsaid if it comes.

   "Talbott." You close the distance between you in short, measured steps, as though worried he might fly away. "I did get lost...but I found my way back. You led me back. And I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again. I - I promise." Your fingers brush Talbott's softly, asking permission. "Whatever happens, happens to both of us."

  Talbott's fingers close around yours on instinct. He grips your hand tightly, all his attention on you as if there were nothing else in the room.

   "Do you mean that?"

   You can only nod, your words exhausted. But he sees the answer in the spark of your eye.

   "Y/N." Talbott releases your hand to reach for your face. He strokes your cheek in careful wonder like he's forgotten how. You close your eyes, reveling in his touch.

   "Go."

   The word startles both of you. Talbott let his hand fall abruptly. You turn to face Felix, unable to hide a slight blush. Talbott's mere touch has made you so dizzy you can't comprehend Felix's meaning right away.

   "What?"

   "Go. Both of you, go." Something has changed in Felix’s voice. It's no longer nervous. It's no longer anything. It's empty and lifeless, like the voice of a corpse. "I'll distract them. Tell them some story. Buy you enough time to get to the lifts."

   You shake your head slowly. "No...Felix, that's...there must be some other-"

   Felix takes your chin delicately in his hand, and your voice trails away. You feel Talbott shift beside you, but Felix moves no closer. His empty eyes merely wander your face, as if trying to memorise each part of it.

   "Y/N. Let me do this. For you. I-" His voice cracks like dead leaves. "I never meant to hurt you."

   The pounding on the far door intensifies. The heavy wood splinters, and light pokes through from the other side. If anything else can be seen, your vision is too blurry to catch it. You close your hand around Felix's, trying to blink back the tears. There's so much you want to say to him. To this man who handles you so delicately, looks at you like treasure, loves you like you're the only thing in the world that matters. But you aren't sure there are words to explain how you feel. You can only nod, and say inadequately, "I know."

   Felix releases your face, then locks eyes with Talbott.

   "Keep her safe."

    Talbott's jaw tenses once before he manages a short nod. He grasps your hand again and tugs you gently toward the door.

   You take a last look at Felix Rosier, watching you walk away from him.

    "Go," he says once more. 

    Felix turns to face the oncoming noise. And you turn and run the other way, Talbott at your side.

   You don't stop running until you reach the lifts. Talbott guides you back through the labyrinth of rooms, never loosing his grip on your fingers. There's no sign of Tonks, Lupin, and the students, and you can only hope distantly that they've made it out alright. Once inside the lift, you throw yourself against the wall. Your breathing comes in short, painful gasps and hot tears still threaten the corners of your eyes.

   "Are you alright?" Talbott's voice is so quiet you almost miss it under the sound of blood pounding in yours ears.

   You glance up at Talbott, blinking through your tears. He stands stock still, eyes alert and tense. You choke back a mad laugh. It reminds you forcibly of teenaged Talbott: the awkward, anxious boy you fell in love with almost instantly, whose stillness hid such depths and inspired the best in you.

   "Yes," you answer honestly, wiping your eyes. "I'm - I'm alright." You take a shuddering breath, trying to settle your swirling thoughts. "Talbott... I-"

   There's no time to worry about finding the right words. Talbott takes your face in his hands and stops you with a kiss like wildfire. He clutches you to him, dragging his hands across you artlessly, trying to pull you into him until you occupy the same space. It's a closeness you've craved for so long, and your hands are no less wild. You can never have enough of this. Enough of him.

   You tear your lips away, gasping for breath, but Talbott won’t release you. You're forced to speak against his neck as he clings to you for life.

   "Talbott, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You repeat the words over and over. You can't think of anything else to say. Talbott's head shakes where its pressed against yours.

   "I'm sorry," he whispers.

   "What?"

   You struggle to ease Talbott’s hold on you just enough so you can meet his molten eyes.

   "You've always come after me. All the time I've known you, our whole lives - I run and you come find me. And the one time you needed me to come find you, I didn't. I was...too afraid." Talbott tangles his fingers in your hair, closing the fraction of space between you again, until his forehead rests against yours. "But this time, I promise...I won't let you go. Not ever again."

   For once, it's you that can’t give your thoughts voice. When the lift doors open, you and Talbott are still clasped together, speaking softly in a language that communicates feeling better than words ever could. 

-

    Epilogue

   "Good morning," you whisper huskily in your husband's ear.

   He groans without opening his eyes. You giggle softly, trailing breathy, teasing kisses up his neck, under his chin. His lips part, inviting yours into a lazy, lingering kiss. When you pull away, his eyes remain firmly shut.

   "You're sleepy this morning," you murmur.

   Talbott cracks an eye. "You know, some people sleep in on their honeymoon."

   "Really?"

   "Mmhmm. Some people even enjoy it."

   You trace his collarbone with a finger. You can hear Talbott's breath catch.

   "Strange. I enjoy my waking life a lot more than dreams."

   Talbott stirs, at your touch or your words. He rolls you over in his arms until you're pinned beneath him. You revel in the sensation of being very slightly crushed by the body you adore.

   "What's so great about it, then?" Talbott asks in dry amusement. "The smell of the sea, or the sound of the waves, or the room service that means we never actually have to get out of bed?"

   You grin, and shake your head against the pillow. "None of the above."

   "Really?"

   "Really." You trail your fingernails lightly up and down Talbott's back, savouring the feel of his warm skin. Talbott shudders under your hands. He locks eyes with you, his molten, yellow-gold stare saying everything you love to hear. He leans down to murmur against your lips:

   "What then?"

   You smile. Your mouth meets Talbott's and you say in between tantalising kisses:

   "I'm Mrs Talbott Winger. I'm your wife. I'm on my honeymoon - in the middle of a war, where we're being constantly hunted - but...I'm with you. So I'm better than safe."

   Talbott's only response is another kiss, but you know exactly what he means.

#felix rosier #talbott winger #felix rosier x mc #felix rosier reader insert #Talbott winger reader insert #Talbott winger x mc #felix rosier fanfiction #talbott winger fanfiction #hphm fanfiction #hphm #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery fanfic #juniper windsong #reader insert #love triangle #dark!

[moveslikebucky]

Chapter 4 of my Raiders of the Lost Ark fusion is up and this chapter has The Boat Scene (that’s right y’all, they kiss in this one >_>!!)  There’s only one chapter left after this!  

In this chapter: Drinking contests with French archaeologists!  Snakes unionizing!  Aziraphale being Strong As Fuck!  A car chase!  And, as mentioned previously, some tender lovely kissing <3

Excerpt below, with the link to ao3 at the bottom <3

As always I’m thanking @narumikaiko for the amazing beta work, @luritto for britpicking and keeping me honest, and @yamisnuffles for doing the art that inspired this in the first place <3 <3   Also tagging @mcbitchtits cuz as always I would hate for them to miss this xD.

We’re almost at the end, one chapter to go after this!

---

Belloq’s Tent, Dig Site at Tanis.  Almost dawn.

Crowley downs his third glass of brandy, feeling the burn as it runs down his throat.  He’s still perfectly sober, but making a show of not being.  Belloq has devolved from one rant to the other, finally settling on Nazis in general.

“I don’t even want to work with them, they’re just the only ones taking me seriously!  Even then, they really aren’t.”

“Facist regimes usually only take themselves seriously.  Big reason why they happen.  It’s all me, me, me, I, I, I and off they go.”  Crowley gestures broadly as he speaks, playing up the motion, creating a false sense of security.

“You must’ve seen quite a few of them.”

“In my experience,” Crowley says, adding a hiss into the word for effect, “humans are pretty much all the same.  You’ve seen one regime, you’ve seen them all.”

“The knowledge of humanity you must have.  I wonder how many history books have it wrong?”

“Ah- here, let me,” Crowley extends a hand and Belloq passes him the bottle.  “You’d be surprised how much they get right, actually.  And how much of what’s right they say is false.”  He pours himself another glass, tops off Belloq’s when he extends it out.  “King Arthur, for example: great fella.  Bit too great, spreading his good will all over the bloody place.”

“King Arthur was real?”

“Oh yeah, whole thing.  Lady of the Lake and all that nonsense.  Dinosaurs, though.  Completely fake.  Big cosmic joke, that one.”

“Astounding.  You could completely rewrite human history!”  Belloq exclaims as he throws back his liquor.  Crowley laughs and makes a show of spilling his glass.  “Oops,” Belloq slurs at him, devolving into laughter of his own.

Crowley watches the brandy at the edge of the circle as it streaks the red paint where it drags through it.  He sighs and cracks his spine, feeling his power start to trickle back.  Be a few minutes yet before it’s enough for him to break out, but not much longer.

Crowley passes the bottle back with a smirk, tosses his own back again.  It’s good, better than a lot of the swill he had in Nepal.  “This is some good stuff.” Crowley downs the little bit left in his glass.  “Where’d you get it anyway?”

“I grew up with this,” Belloq is, at this point, unable to even sit up straight.  Swaying from side to side, face red and splotchy.  All according to plan.  “It’s my family label!”

Crowley can feel the tingle of hellish power creeping back to the center of him.  Spreading along his fingers and toes, up the lines of his bones.  A dark and creeping thing.  Spooky.  Like the chill you get in a dilapidated old house.  The feel of something foreboding.  He almost has enough to break through.  The barrier is weakening.

“Tell me more, demon—“

“The name’s Crowley, if you don’t mind.”

“Right, Crowley,” Belloq corrects himself and leans forward to pour Crowley another glass.  “What about the Bible?  How much of it is wrong?”

“The Heaven should I know?  I’m a demon, I can’t even touch those.”

“Ah, sorry, silly assumption.”

“Just a bit,” Crowley says with more than a hint of offense.  He’s still not over the time Aziraphale left an old misprinted copy on the sofa in the back room.  Hadn’t been able to sit for weeks after that.

A dead silence falls between the two of them.  Belloq still sways a bit where he sits, knocks back another glass, leaving the bottle nearly empty.  The creeping dark continues, the four points of it meeting in the center of Crowley’s chest.  He does a quick test, snaps his fingers behind his back, feeling the sparks light there.

He snaps again and the paint on the floor evaporates from around him.  In one smooth motion he lunges for the bottle, smashes it on the edge of the table and brandishes it in Belloq’s face.  A shift in ozone, just a bit of demonic energy, and the edges of the glass glow with heat and hellfire.

“You!” Belloq exclaims, looking behind him to the rug.  “How!”

“Notice your fancy jewelry is missing, what’s up with that?”

“I-I-“ Belloq’s eyes keep darting behind him as Crowley slowly backs towards the tent flap.

“Not so powerful without it, eh?”  Crowley smirks at him.  Humans are so fucking easy when the cards are played right.  “I really must be going now.  Was a fun time!  Maybe we’ll meet again on a better occasion.”

Crowley turns to make his escape, manifesting his wings.  Great black feathers fill the tent, more void than true color, blocking out the scant amount of light that remains.  He ducks out and kicks off the ground into the breaking dawn light, taking to the sky to search for Aziraphale.  A hill just to the west, a lightning strike and that telltale divinity in the air.  Gotcha.

He has about five seconds to pat himself on the back before he’s frozen in midair.

[Continue on AO3]

#link #fic #my fic #good omens #ineffable husbands #indiana jones #aziraphale #crowley #we're almost at the end folks!

[doeeyedmeyer]

Red dead redemption 2 for the fandom ask thing?

Thank you for sending me this, red dead is my heart and I adore it so much <33

Also anyone please feel free to send me a fandom and I’ll answer this fandom ask about it, or just feel free to send me anything at all!

1. The first character I fell in love with: 

Okay.. the character I FIRST fell in love with was Dutch (yes even before arthur who is the loml now) because of the first speech he gave in colter. It was really inspiring and gave me and look at who he was as a person and a leader and I was really quick to attach to him <33

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Arthur 100% Arthur. My boyfriend played rdr2 before me, and I would sometimes glance at him playing but I wasnt that invested in it as he was, we also were in colleges in separate states at the time so I wasn’t there that much when he played. HOWEVER! (And I could talk about him for hours) Arthur Morgan became one of my absolute favorite characters of all time, if not my favorite character in anything I’ve ever watched/played. At the beginning of the game I loved Dutch, and wasn’t connected to arthur but starting in chapter 2 I connected and attached myself to arthur so much, that I felt like he was just apart of me. And (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED AND WANT TO) before he died I cried, during his final mission and death season I cried and when his story ended I cried for 3 hours. Anyway, I can talk about arthur forever but this is getting long!

3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t:

Okay, this is just a personal opinion, and I don’t hate her by any means. But I just didn’t ever connect with Sadie the way everyone else did. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a great character with a really sad background, but I think because I was so hyper focused on arthur I never really connected with her.

4. The character I love that everyone else hates: 

I mean, something I’ve noticed is how everyone doesn’t care for Dutch. And it’s really hard for me to hate Dutch, because again I’ve attached myself to him in a very strong way. I also can rant about Dutch forever and how I think he has TBI from hitting his head, and not to mention the amount of loss he endured in such a short amount of time. (Again SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED) but I mean he lost Hosea, who was pretty canonically a very strong figure in his life and someone who kept him grounded, and his late gf annabelle, and just his past life in general is very sad. This isn’t trying to excuse some of what he did, but I’m just trying to explain why I love him <33

5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer: 

None of them? I think? I’m pretty sure I had a pretty strong opinion of all the characters throughout the game and never really loved a character that I now don’t like. I mean I always hated micah and bill? and they’re the only characters I ever didn’t really like at all.

6. The character I’d want to be like: 

Honestly Charles Smith 100%. He is an angel fr, and I would do anything for him. But apart from that, he was always the most moral and just all around good person. He risked his life multiple times to save arthur and put his neck on the line for the gang so many times. And his ending where he just wanted to protect the wapiti tribe, and told arthur to go and help people, good people, who need him, was just absolutely beautiful and sad.

7. A pairing that I love: 

Charles/Arthur will always shine bright in my heart. Again, I can talk about this for HOURS but I won’t. But Charles risked his life so many times for Arthur and you could tell Arthur and Charles both had very high opinions of each other, and always did things that would benefit each other, in missions with them. Also (SPOILER) when they were saying goodbye to each other and were both crying, was the saddest shit I’ve ever seen. Also Charles literally doesn’t talk to anyone else at camp and is like: ..... , when anyone tries to talk to him. And when arthur says hi to him, Charles is like: ☺️☺️☺️ HI ARTHUR!! So yeah, I could talk about them forever but that’s all I’ll say for now.

8. A pairing that I despise: 

Sadie/Arthur. And I wouldn’t say I DESPISE them, that’s a really strong word. I just think it was kind of weird, because Sadie just lost her husband and she clearly was not going to be over him any time soon, seeing as she was trying to avenge him at every corner. So I just thought it was weird because I think they had more of a sibling or close friend relationship! But again that’s just my opinion!

Here’s the questions if you want to use them, and please feel free to send me another fandom and I’ll answer questions on them!

Fandom ask questions:

1. The first character I fell in love with

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t:

4. The character I love that everyone else hates: 

5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer: 

6. The character I would totally smooch: 

7. The character I’d want to be like: 

8. The character I’d slap: 

9. A pairing that I love: 

10. A pairing that I despise: 

#ask tag #rdr2 #arthur morgan >>>>> everyone else #really i love him sm #please feel free to talk about rdr2 at any time and ill answer you :)!! #queue #arthur morgan #charles smith #dutch van der linde #charthur

[franeridart]

Anon said: YOU DREW SERVAMP AS WELL??? JUST IN HOW MANY OF MY FANDOMS ARE YOU OH MY GOD I FEEL SO BLESSED I COULD CRY

Aw man, sort of, yeah!! I can’t say I’m actively into the fandom anymore, since I’ve lost track of the translations for the manga and I’m definitely behind at least a dozen chapters, but !!!!!!!!!! yeah man I love servamp it’s such a good manga TT^TT

Anon said: Ok since you like fire force *slides $20 bill* can you draw some Shinra x Arthur?

Whoops, sorry but I don’t ship it just yet! (might happen? might not?? we’ll have to wait and see what Okubo has planned for my poor heart this time around) but! hold that thought and the $20 cause I might actually open up commissions soon enough if my money situation doesn’t change, so!! >:3c

Anon said: do you think kirishima would be taller and bigger than bakugou in the future?

My ideal adult!KrBk are the ones I posted a few days ago, so!! Not really, I prefer them remaining more or less the same size as each other, just different body types - exactly as they are right now in the manga, just !!!! adult!!!!!!!!

Anon said: I Just want to say: I totaly love your content! Your Art is amazing and full of life 🥰 You are my fav. KiriBaku artist on hole Tumblr. My fav. part is your Fantasy AU art. I fucking love dragon Kiri and his king. But i really like your full content. Pls keep going!

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! (TT^TT)<3<3<3 I’m glad you like my stuff this much!!!!!!!!! 

Anon said: Just wondering, do you like any femslash ships in BHNA? If so, which ones!!

I do!!!!! MomoJirou and MinaJirou are def favs of mine, and I dunno the ship name but Kendou and Yui got my heart beating really fast, ngl <3<3 there’s something in the aesthetic of it, it just gets to me! Also Nejire and Yuyu, such a good ship (oTT^TT)9

Anon said: Heya, sorry for this stranger call. I just wanna ask if i could use your Kiribaku Comics for comic-dubbing. If i post it on social Websites i will give credits to you of course. I'll wait for a answer. I couldn't ask you that per dm so I need to doing it here

I’d prefer it if you didn’t, sorry!

Anon said: Reading your essay about bakugo finally things into place!! Thank you!!! I guess I just didn't fully grasp the whole "he expects you to just get it". He IS a character that requires more than a cursory glance to figure out and i love that about him! And i love the endearing things he does like you said, especially his unexpectedly great fashion sense. Personally another thing that gets overlooked about him is how smart he actually is. He doesn't just go BOOM BOOM all the time. He a smart boi.

I find like the whole “he says one thing and expects people to understand another” is made pretty clear in the arc right after the overhaul one, even if I think it was present enough before then too - but in that arc he says one thing, and then another character says a thing that has nearly nothing to do with what he said, and he goes “that’s what I said!” and when he explains what he meant with the first thing he said it makes it clear that he just, has a terrible, horrible way of expressing himself that’s way more aggressive than what he actually means? He’s been doing this since the start, going around yelling die and I’ll blow you up at things and people and then when he goes to act on it his actions turn out to be way milder than what he said ????

but yeah!!! it’s made more clear the further we go in the story and that’s one thing I really really love about him hahaha

Anon said: It's not that you put Baku's ring on the wrong hand, is that Baku is too much of a rebel to use the ring in the traditional hand! :D

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll take it!!!! 

Anon said: I seriously just come back to your blog sometimes to go through your art and it's like straight up drinking happy positive energy I'm in LOVE with the way you portray both Bakugo and Kirishima and their relationship and the rest of the boys and it's such a blessing and a delight and I feel like I will never be able to be thankful enough. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art with us, thank you for sharing your throughts, thank you for sharing your love for these two boys. Thank you 💕

You are!!!! Too kind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (TTATT) thank you for being so genuinely wonderful to me!!! and thank you for liking my stuff this much, it means the world to me!!!! <3<3

Anon said: I just read your Bakugo answer to that anon and honestly, there's so much love in it to be fair it obviously shows throught your art as well but reading that made me tear up a little. What an amazing character. What an amazing BOY I love him too thank you for sharing your thoughts and your amazing art you are one of my favorite artists in the fandom and I'm so glad you love him as much as you do and I hope it makes you as happy as it makes me when I look at your art 💕💕

GOSH thank YOU for loving him as much as he deserves, honestly!!! He’s such a wonderful character and has been making me happy for so long now!!!!! (TT^TT)<3<3

Anon said: I legit don't understand why people are taking things out of proportions I can assure you nothing outside of the usual squabble is going on in bnha fandom.There are some assholes on both sides but I think that since most of us haven't actually 'seen' it and just 'heard' of it means it's not exactly as prominent as they're making it out to be, probably just the assholes being assholes to each other exclusively, so please don't worry about it,they're messing up their own enjoyment of fandom really

I don’t really know what brought this ask on, to be honest!! But as things stand I have withnessed people being very, very horrible to others lately inside the bnha fandom (and obviously, specifically between ships) so! there’s that! then again it’s also true that the bigger a fandom gets the more easily rude people will find their way in it, so I guess it’s just something you learn to live with if you want to stay in the fandom - personally, I’m just doing my best to stay in my corner and draw my sappy comics without bothering anyone hahaha

Anon said: Just here to say that your art is like, my life at this point because I would be like big depression if I hadn’t found your blog. Not to rant but my week has been an absolute hell and your art makes me feel so much better and just please keep drawing because this means the absolute world to me ok thanks bye.

THANK YOU!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so SO glad I can help your mood even just a bit, that’s really all I try to do with my doodles T^T fix my own mood, and maybe if I’m lucky help someone else along the way <3

Anon said: this may be all over the place, but I have the need to thank you? I was feeling very bad and down tonight, full on anxiety but I turned some music on and started going through your account and it calmed me down. I cant even count how many times I've gone through probably your whole account and just... thank you. your posts are so unique and funny and pretty and just sososo beautiful. I love how you built up bakugou and kirishima's characters and their relationship. just sososo beautiful.

Gods, you guys are going to make me cry for real (TTATT) you’re!!!! too nice!!!! again, I’m so happy to hear my doodles can help you feel better!!! I hope your days have been better <3<3<3

Anon said: So I keep rereading your latest kiribaku comic and its so fucking soft and I'm cry. It's so perfect and I just, it makes me so soft and happy every time I see it. It's honestly goals. I love ALL of your comics tbh, like, they're literally all perfect. Please continue to be your wonderful self!!!!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! asks like this one are the reason why I keep sharing what I draw!!!!! <3<3<3<3

#fran answers #y'all.............................so kind.................................. *sob* #long post

[surrealsunday]

Ok so now that I recovered and processed it, im back to attack your inbox and I already apologize in advance for the potential spam. First of all THE COUCH PART: the flirty and carefree and so clearly in love but in even bigger denial UGH they are killing me!!!! I loved every part of it bc duh! But just the way they were so comfy with each other and messing around as if theyre the only ones in the whole world! And the fact that Lucas knew about the threesome thing killed me😩1/8

Them at work? Idk why but it felt different than other times more carefree (again using the word wow)and i was very 👀🤔 at the Jeremy situation i gotta admit, did lucas tell him off fully or what? Emma being all yeah hes happy and clearly being fucked well and Imane is there all 👀i wonder why hes so happy👀 poor eliott, but then when lucas got him coffee it kinda made me all happy bc he remembered that lil convo in the morning, hes so sweet but trying to act like hes not. 2/8

And Mika knowing about Elu and not even giving them a chance to deny it 😂 OH SHIT how could i forgot Lucas hugging Eliott in the locker room! Idk why but that part had me so warm! Like he really did need eliott in that second! then when he kissed him i really thought jeremy would walk in based on his amazing timing in the past but oh well! But the fact that Lucas showed any affection to eliott felt like such a big step for him! This boy is so in love, we love to see it! 3/8

NOW THE TRIP! I was sure theyd go either with the whole group/friends would “force” them for a trip or maybe theyd visit Claudine BUT THE FACT THAT HE MET HIS PARENTS?! BITCH MY WIG! GONE. I can just imagine Lucas freaking out, especially bc he was all “everyone loves emma!” About her meeting alex’ brothers. I can just imagine him being the same level of nervous if not more! But i was so excited that we met Eliotts parents! Especially since usually we dont get this side. 4/8

And Bas “walking in” on them gave me a tiny flashback to Tempo 😂 AND LUCAS JEALOUS! Hand on his thigh! Boy, its okay you’re all he sees anyway! OH SHIT HOW COULD I FORGET THEIR WEIRD WAY OF DECIDING TO SEND EACHOTHER DICK PICS 😂 idiots! Side note: JAIME THE TATTOOS! ANY PICTURE WITH EVEN A CENTIMETER OF A TATTOO!! MY NEW WEAKNESS AND ITS NOT EVEN REAL!!!!! Oh shit and the reason why he got the tattoos!!!! I teared up! I’m could see them getting matching tats later in life 5/8

Him being afraid of the ghosts and then the next day being “afraid” of eliotts mom and hiding under the covers😂😂 also the (no its not my own YANN) MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD! The dinner scene made me so soft but also feeling upset for Eliott like poor bby no wonder hes feeling like shit when he comes to visit his parents but then LUCAS DID THE HAND THING AND HELD HIS HAND AND IT MADE ME FEEL SO FUCKING WARM INSIDE MY GOD YOU KNOW HOW TO WRITE TO MAKE A BITCH FEEL 60 EMOTIONS AT ONCE! 6/8

honorable mentions: lucas saying eliott is different when it comes to standing up for himself it made me very emo but also it reminded me of the ugly doctor. Im loving the Brat/Average nicknames! Especially average always used so nicely. Lucas being all “you dont have to cuddle me but if you do i wont mind but you dont have to” ALSO ELIOTT REALIZING THAT HES FALLING and the ending ‘im glad i came here with you’ well fuck jaime just rip my heart out and take it. I clearly don’t need it. 7/8

I dont think i need to even try and explain my feelings about the bathroom scene..I think the fact that it took me hours to recover from this chapter speaks for itself.I was surprised that they posted eachother on their social media. I am also surprised that Arthur knows about them which made me a little 👀just fucking amazing! 100000/10 as usual! My new favorite chapter! I am in love! Every week you make me fall more in love with them! And ranting/spam is finished.. sorry🥺 8/8

💜💜💜💜

Don’t apologize for sending me your thoughts! I love them!!!  

I love the couch scene too. I love the unadulterated flirtiness of it all. They’re both just super giddy and happy to be together and even though Lucas is still a little bit of his prickly self, there’s just a lot more of that casual comfort than there had been when they first woke up together at Lucas’s place. And of course part of that is how Sofiane treats the whole situation with a lot of ease. Oh and yeah - had to bring up the whole threesome thing because that couldn’t have been kept from Lucas and was also the perfect chance for Eliott to tease him hehe (especially because it’s very clear to them both that neither of them are the least bit interested in the idea). 

There’s definitely more ease between them at work too. And yes, Lucas had a convo with Jeremy. He wouldn’t have told him off - in fact he would have been as nice as he possibly could about it (too nice) but this time Jeremy got the message because he’s put two and two together and gets that it’s about Lucas and Eliott. 

“BITCH MY WIG” made me lollllll. Yeah, I really felt like they needed to get away from the hospital and everyone they knew to be able to completely drop their defenses and get a chance to really be together, and be a lot more honest about how they were communicating. So a little trip to Eliott’s it was! And that also gave me a chance to give you a lot more depth on Eliott and his background and relationship with his parents. You’ll get more next chapter. 

Oh and you ain’t seen nothing yet as far as the tattoo edits go! My faves are in chapter 9 and the epilogue hehe.  

I love all of the other moments you mentioned. I love just hearing about the moments that really got to you!!! Thanks so much for sending your thoughts. 💕💕💕💕💕😘😘😘

#long post #mood tattoo chapter 7 #mood tattoo fic

[squidproquoclarice]

About Arthur's kidnapping in chapter 3: considering he suffered a direct shotgun blast (which later went septic), multiple beatings, a head injury, days without food or water, was hung upside down, and rode god knows how long in that condition, he would have realistically needed A LOT of care after his escape. He might have been bedbound for a while and needed help feeding and dressing himself. Not to mention he'd need the Victorian equivalent of physical therapy to get his shoulder working.

2. It recently occured to me after reading yet another fanfic interpretation of "blessed are the peacemakers" that the whole gang royally dropped the ball during that arc. You can imagine how bad Arthur felt after learning no one was looking for him. What's your interpretation of how the gang reacted to Arthur's near-death experience and having to take care of and protect him for weeks as he recovered? Sadie came across as a bit harsh considering how protective she got later when he got tb.

~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, I strongly quibble with that shoulder injury and him shaking it off with no effects after “a few weeks”.  He had sepsis to the point there was actual concern he would die.  He might recover from that within a few weeks, but he’d be pretty weak at the end of it.

The big issue is the shoulder injury.  He took a shotgun slug to the shoulder, and fortunately, it apparently missed both significant bone injury and significant blood vessels, so it didn’t kill him.  But much like how TB left some lingering effects, that doesn’t mean that he’ll heal up quickly and perfectly.

Ask @mearcatsreturns and others in Timeless fandom about my rants about Garcia Flynn’s injury, and how “shot in the shoulder” being treated as an injury that’s not really life threatening and that you bounce back from quickly is a trope with incredible longevity in fiction, and it’s also incredibly wrong.  I can apply that here with Arthur.  (Seriously, tall, green eyes, loves a good journal, snarky, Dramatic Disaster Bi, Sad Dad who lost a lover and a child to violence, self-loathing, done things he hates himself for--Flynn’s gotta be descended from Arthur.)

I wrote Flynn weeks and even months later going to regular PT, and struggling with the injury and extensive rehab.  He also has the advantage of modern medical care plus a smaller-gauge bullet.  I don’t have that luxury with Arthur, but he becomes an unusual case of not noticing it quite as much as a normal, healthy man would.  The gunshot wound and TB are already comorbid since it’s the post-injury weakness that let the TB take root, but they become even more entwined because the GSW effect sort of disappears as his entire body is rapidly weakening.  Even in his recovery in Mexico, the shoulder wouldn’t show up as much after so much forced bed rest and slow rebuilding of his body and strength, because his entire body is very weak at that point. 

But I’m careful to write him having some lingering weakness in that shoulder in the months and years that follow, and even in 1907, it aches when he’s pushed himself too hard physically for the day, or it’s cold.  It’s pretty damn good again, but it’ll never be exactly what it was pre-injury, particularly as Arthur is getting older besides.

I’m guessing in the gang, there was a lot of guilt from some people at not looking for him.  You know Dutch (via Micah instigating it) had to have provided a good explanation, or else Hosea and others would have ridden out raising holy hell.  Tilly and Susan are specifically cited in his journal as taking on a lot of the nursing duties.  Others ask him how he’s doing when he’s up and about again.  Dutch pays some lip service to guilt, but much like his pre-scripted speech in Colter, it feels pretty hollow if he so easily dismissed Arthur.  They’re aware Arthur is not good at being taken care of, given his perception of lack of value except as a tool means he feels he’s not entitled to being cared for.  So I think the wisest among them managed to do it carefully in a way that didn’t make him feel feeble or needy, even as yes, he was weakened and in need of help.  

As for Sadie, yeah, that’s a big ouch, and I think she realized quickly enough how harsh it sounded that she demanded to know whether he got Colm rather than asking after his well-being.  I’ve had her cringe at that in Sunrise more than once.  

Her anger plays a part in it, of course, and there may be some struggling with understandable resentment and rage against fate that he survived the O’Driscolls when Jake didn’t.

But I do think a lot of that is her fear talking.  She watched men there at Colm’s behest murder Jake, and suffered several days of captivity, including almost definite sexual assault.  Now the one man (though I’d argue maybe Hosea also) she really has let herself start to trust and befriend is kidnapped by Colm O’Driscoll.  He comes back after several days, nearly dies, and has been tortured and subjected to any number of things in his captivity that like her, he likely will be reluctant to speak about.  

She lost Jake.  She’s almost lost this man she’s let herself start to care about, and watched his suffering in the days after he came back to camp, which has to bring back some terrible memories.  Colm O’Driscoll just proved again with one casual gesture how much he can fuck up her life, how he can still threaten her.  She has to feel like she’s absolutely not safe until Colm is dead.  Hence her demand to know whether that’s the case, before saying anything else.

Honestly, she’s not wrong in that fear.  Colm’s coming for the Van Der Lindes.  He does it again, and her berserk attack at Shady Belle again has as much to do with her fear as her vengeance, I think.  And after being attacked in her home again by the O’Driscolls, yeah, it’s actually sort of reasonable for her in her panic to be going to go after them full bore saying to herself, “I’m not safe so long as any of these motherfuckers are left alive.”  Ergo, some of her Chapter 6 actions.   

So yeah, that “Did you get Colm O’Driscoll?” is not her most admirable moment, and Arthur’s right to call her out on it with his snarky reply of something like “I’m doing fine, thanks for asking.”  But when you dig into it, it’s a pretty understandable reaction to someone with massive PTSD who’s had the everloving fuck triggered out of them by Arthur’s ordeal.  And clearly she shows very shortly after that where her care and loyalty lie, and they’re 100% with Arthur all the way.

#arthur morgan #sadie adler #rdr2 #thank you for coming to my red talk #Anonymous

[starlightdreams-blog]

Ok here is the third chapter to "Love in The Broken Soul" enjoy!

_________________________________________

The Hospital

Griford Hill Hospital: 3:00pm, ER Surgery/Operation Room

Temple, Texas

Arthur felt like he was falling, suffocating in the darkness that surrounded him. He could still feel pain and agony; he couldn't tell where it was, but dear gods did it hurt! He looked up and could faintly see a small light that was slowly getting bigger and brighter. Once the light was close enough, he touched it and was quickly thrown back in to his body, where doctors were desperately trying to revive him.

Even though an oxygen mask was on his mouth to help him breath, he took a shaky breath as his heart started again, cheers coming from the doctors, though they immediately started to continue the surgery as they stabilized his condition. He couldn't tell what kind of surgery he was in as he fell back into unconsciousness.

Two days passed before Arthur woke up again. It was noon as he saw a few familiar faces besides Vivi and Mystery, who both had red rimmed eyes from crying, the girl holding his right hand and the dog on the bed with his ears back. The people he saw besides his friends were the Peppers, the Yukinos, his uncle Lance and... His parents. His parents were there? Why were they here and crying? He thought that they hated him after he told them that he was transgender and was in love with his best friend (s?). They didn't disown him but they didn't talk to him for weeks which nearly broke his heart.

He must've said that out loud, for his mother burst in to tears as she said, as his father gave his son a sad and hurt stare, "That's not true, my son! My poor baby boy... We're so sorry; we should've listened to you and supported you! Instead we let our anger and religious beliefs get the best of us! Instead of supporting you, we ignored you for weeks before you went on your trip with your friends! We regret that when we finally realized that you were who you are and let our misplaced anger go, you already left with your team on your journey before we could apologize for what we did. We've never felt so much guilt at what we did to you! Both your father and I love you so much, Arthur! A-and now... Oh dear lord, I'm so sorry... N-no one d-deserves t-this." as Mr. Kingsman pulled his sobbing wife into a hug to calm her down. With the beginning of tears threatening to spill over the man's brown eyes, he looked at Arthur and said, his voice cracking as he tried to explain, "We were visiting your uncle Lance to apologise for what we did when we got the call from the hospital, saying that you and your friends were out hiking and ended up being attacked by some type of monster near a cave.... I-it d-did... D-dear gods, my son..."

As he looked at his normally calm, caring and loving parents breakdown in tears, Arthur didn't understand why they were crying, however his heart started to mend as his parents were accepting him for who he is. He went to hug them but as he tried to sit up, he froze, feeling something off with his left side. Shaking from alarm and panic, he looked to his left and started to hyperventilate, for his arm was gone, torn clean off. Vivi, the three little Pepper sisters and his (still crying) mother pulled him into hugs and did everything they could to calm him down; Mystery laying down on the blonde's lap as he whimpered in concern and worry, leaning his head up and licking the blonde's cheek. Thirty minutes passed before Arthur was calm enough to talk. Then came the moment that froze everyone in the room with panic and true horror. When Mr. Pepper and Mrs. Pepper, in sadness, told them that the funeral for Lewis would be held in about three weeks, Arthur had a confused look on his face, pink faintly flashing in his amber eyes and said, confusion in his voice, "If you don't mind me asking Mr. and Mrs. Pepper, but who's Lewis?" None of the people in the room even saw the tiny sparks coming from the blonde's eyes as they were close to panicking. Why didn't Arthur remember Lewis, his best friend since third grade!? What could've happened to his memories!? Did that blasted demon have anything to do with this!?

To calm the shocked family and horrified friends of Arthur Kingsman down, a doctor was called in to check what was wrong. It was later confirmed that Arthur's mind was blocking every and all memories of Lewis due to trauma and the fact that he must've saw his friend die a horrible death by whatever beast that had attacked them. (In a way, he wouldn't remember what happened in the cave because it wasn't his fault. Probably from the trauma and blood loss.) However, he could still remember the Pepper family, both the parents and the three little girls, and the fact that they run the 'Pepper Paradiso', which confused the doctor but he just chalked it up as amnesia.

By the time it was night, it was only Arthur, Vivi and Mystery in the room while everyone else went home to rest. Vivi squeezed Arthur's right hand as his eyes slowly closed to rest, unaware of the loss they suffered. She still had faint traces of tears running down her cheek. She look to Mystery, his eyes holding centuries of wisdom and knowledge, and said, quietly as to not wake their friend, "Mystery, things won't go back to normal now, will they?" His heart breaking as he saw his normally bright, bubbly charge 'die out' from the death of one of her beloved and seeing the other in the hospital looking so frail, drained and having no memory of their fallen member, Mystery looked into Vivi's now dull, icy, blue eyes and said, his paws moving his glasses up a little and nodding in confirmation, "I'm afraid so, Vivi. However what makes me concerned is Arthur's memory loss of Lewis. How should we..."

Vivi immediately held her hand up, cutting Mystery's rant off as she said, voice suddenly filled with hurt, grief, pain and heartbreak, but most importantly guilt, "Arthur can't know what happened at all, Mystery. Maybe this way, we can heal. At least I'll know that Artie won't wallow in guilt of being forced to kill LewLew. I won't be able to handle it. As much as I'd hate to say it but if... if Arthur remembers Lewis and knows what happened tonight, he might... I can't lose him, too, Mystery. I just can't. I'll be shattered if I lost him too. I owe him that much after suggesting to investigate that blasted cave." Mystery nodded slowly in sorrow, knowing that Lewis's death was hurting them both. However, they both, though reluctantly, agreed to never mention Lewis ever again; even though it will hurt not just them, but also Arthur and everyone who knew the sweet, protective, brave and kindhearted purple haired young man.

#msa arthur #msa au #msa mystery #msa vivi #msa lewis #arthur kingsmen #poor babies

[baconpal]

talkin bout fire force

shit boys it’s been too long time for another unprompted juvenile rant about manga, click keep reading if you’re insane and keep scrolling if you aren’t 

So Fire Force anime starts in just about a week and I decided to just read it all instead of waiting for any anime. It took a while to read all of it and now I just kind of have a lot to say about the manga, the anime, and the author. So here we go. 

I actually have a lot of good things to talk about, but I’ll get the bad shit out of the way first:

THE WRITING

idk his name it doesn’t really matter since he’s made like 2 things he’s just the soul eater guy; his art style has always been charming and the action scenes keep improving but his actual narrative writing is real bad. I’ll talk about the characters themselves since I actually think FF’s characters are a ridiculous improvement from soul eater, and the setting/aesthetic are on point as well but the plot is just as bad if not worse than whatever soul eater was.

The story is riddled with what should obviously be throwaway characters that keep being brought back and doing something evil and unexpected because it’s a shounen manga and if you aren’t being betrayed then the plot isn’t moving forward, or someone introduced as an obviously villainous character just kind of agrees to be friends in a couple chapters. This is used as a constant cycle of introducing both a set of “evil” and “good” characters, then one of the old “good” sets of characters does something evil and the newest “evil” guys turn out to be good. It’s not interesting or shocking to have a character you can’t even remember come back and act like they’re important, especially if it’s repeated over and over.

FF pretends to have some kind of politic overtones where religions and businesses and such act as their own entities and betray each other and prey on the civilians, but you see absolutely none of the impact anybody’s actions have on the world despite ridiculous things constantly happening and world shaking truths being brought to light over and over, nothing happens. Villains will also  have ridiculous unbeatable abilities but then just be ignored, such as making zombie apocalypses or controlling minds and such. This is also likely a concession of being a shounen manga, where you can’t expect readers to read every single chapter, and usually on a week to week basis, so every chapter needs to have its own big shit happening, even if there’s no plans to follow through on anything. 

The worst part about the writing is how much stuff that the reader didn’t know about and has no idea what it is is passed of as some shocking twist when it’s introduced. This mostly happens with powers and with new factions. There’s a ridiculous amount of times where a new group steps in as the bad guy like mentioned earlier. But for the powers, there’s so many things layered on top of an actually acceptable power system that just seem to cause a DBZ type of escalation of power without the fight scenes actually becoming that much crazier at all. On top of the simple 2nd/3rd generation fire fighter powers, the main character is meant to utilize the adolla burst, the adolla link, the preacher’s divine protection, the okay hand emoji that makes you go fast, the breath of life, and superfire fighting. None of that means anything to anyone and are just used as “MC needs to be better at something but only temporarily” over and over. It’s similar to Maka and Soul’s deals with the devil in soul eater except much more common and with absolutely no downsides.

Also not the fault of the writer himself but there is not ANY good translation of this manga out there holy shit. There’s so many incredibly obvious puns and connections and choices of words to be made that are just entirely ignored, the typesetting is always awful, and no name for moves, characters, or even the title are ever agreed upon. It took until the official release titled “Fire Force” before people stopped trying to call the manga “Burning Firefighter Squad of Fire”.

THE ANIME

Just a bit more bad to say before I go into all the shit about this manga i actually like. The anime looks awful. A lot of anime does right now, very little of note has been coming out or seems to be coming in the future, which is usually the case but its not getting better and that sucks! 

But specifically the fire force anime, following up after soul eater, has absolutely none of the visual charm translated from the manga to anime, the voice casting is absolutely abysmal, and there’s nothing to give me hope in it, not enough to even give it an episode most likely. People might try to defend David productions because woah man I love jojo!!! but they’re pretty fucking bad at animating anything. The choice of color is gross and the visual effects are bland, which is a bad place to start for a show that will contain tons of fire and other bombastic effects. Big shame.

OKAY ONTO THAT GOOD SHIT

CHARACTER DESIGN

The visual designs in soul eater were cool if a bit janky, and the actual concepts for characters were far from astounding, usually being able to fully describe characters in single words and not having much development outside of combat abilities. But Fire Force has some of the most tight characters I’ve seen in a while, they’re all simple and focused with strong thematic elements.

Ya’ll know me, hopefully. I really appreciate simple designs and simple characters. Complicated does not equal deep, and simple does not equal shallow. The characters in fire force will usually embody a concept, or a concept and its exact opposite, and be never waver from their design. I’ll talk about em for specific characters when I get to em but even lots of minor characters are very well focused and I appreciate it.

SHINRA

The main character, and while his grocery list of special abilities and “chosen one” kinda shit is annoying, he starts of as a very strong introspective of the weight of your actions vs the impression you give of in the eyes of society. The easiest way to describe it is through the very obvious identity struggle he goes through of wanting to be known as a “Hero” but instead being “The Devil”. All Shinra ever does is selflessly save peoples lives and put himself at extreme risk, he tells everyone and their grandma that they can call on him when they need a hero, and yet his visuals consist of a dark haired punk who constantly smiles a sharp toothy smile, his ability that he uses to fly in and do kamen rider kicks with spews fire from his feet in the shape of pointy wings, and this fire puts a heavy shadow over his face, giving him a monsterous siloutte. It’s not at all subtle that he just looks as evil and menacing as possible, and so his reputation is constantly negative no matter how kind he is. It’s not explored all that deeply but it is still a strong contrast.

ARTHUR

What a fucking idiot. What an absolute buffoon. This stupid fuck functions as a very simple gag character by being nearly too dumb to function and living in a made up reality as a fantasy knight, but is also able to exist as one of the strongest characters in combat. His ridiculous power is handled in a much more engaging way than Shinra’s. As instead of layering multiple chosen one abilities on him, he becomes weaker or stronger depending on his suspension of disbelief. The more in character as a powerful knight he becomes, the stronger he is. It’s a clean way to make a funny delusional characters struggle actually mean something to the people around them, instead of being left to his own devices or constantly told to fuck off. And while I said the plot isn’t very good, the smaller character beats can be very powerful. For example, It was already pretty easy to just accept Arthur as he was, but his family situation is explored late into the manga, and it’s shown that he began to live in fantasy to escape from his families arguments and poor living conditions. His parents take advantage of his disconnect and abandon their home with him in it, leaving all their responsibilities to him with a note saying he’s now the king and has inherited their castle. This pushes him to an even more absurd degree of fantasy in order to just live out his life knowing he was unloved and unwanted. It very understated how you can make a character that’s mostly used for jokes still be very easy to connect to and empathize. 

TAMAKI 

This one is likely to be the hottest take made from me here today, but this is the most interesting character in this series for a variety of reasons. 

Visuals out of the way, the fire fighter outfits everyone wears already look cool as shit and big puffy coats just get me goin, this girl absolutely rocks it on top of having twintails and a cute face. That’s not objective in anyway this is just a character designed to bait specifically me and its fucking working, okay? The writing is the actually interesting part.

So something that’s usually not even worth talking about is fan service. Show of a girls titties cus its what dudes in their teens want to see, its free (You)s for shounen manga, and soul eater was full of it. It was pretty bad in soul eater and could come at jarring and unneeded times for characters that didn’t seem to exist for any sexual reasons. It was a very poor way to include fan service. 

Fire Force also begins in a similar spot, the 3 main girls that are around in the beginning chapters are occasionally seen changing or in a bath or covered in water or whatever, with one particularly bad spread of them with the classic no nipple no vagina bodies all standing together in a shower. Its awkward and stiff and even as a fan of anime tiddie it just wasn’t worth having. 

But then that wildman just does it. He creates one single character to put literally every single ounce of horny energy in to. A character who exists to fall over and get her tits pushed into someones face, but pushed to a cartoonish extreme. It sounds silly to try to pass off fanservice as funny, but it is. It’s so ridiculously intended and impossible and always varied that its actually fun to see her do something stupid and for something to happen. Sometimes its just her ass landing on a dudes face (god i wish that were me) or her body being exposed and drawn in pretty high detail. Sometimes instead they get an entire dude stuck in her shirt after just tripping in a way that is not not being sexual to the reader at all since you see absolutely no skin. She’s simply destined to be put into lewd situations in universe, not in regards to the manga itself. For an example, here she is just standing completely still, and suddenly becoming naked, drawn in a distant, goofy way: 

It’s stupid. It’s definitely still fan service, but it’s just ridiculous. And that’s way more interesting than having every girl in your series randomly get naked at some point. Despite being insane it still works on boys, as Tamaki is the most popular girl in the series by far, ranked as the second most popular character consistently. 

Tamaki also leads to the single best chapter of the manga where a horribly designed throw-away assassin who was beaten by her returns for revenge, but just ends up as a short, self contained, well paced comedic story of love. 

And guess what, she’s still interesting outside of being funny and having fan service. Her cartoonish luck is essentially treated as her actual power, and her fire cat abilities aren’t explored too deeply during most of the series, but this is done for a greater purpose of essentially spitting in the face of high stakes. Tamaki easily witnesses the most deaths in the series, and most of them are cruel and unusual. She witnesses children being killed by a man who inspired her, she sees people she just met be beheaded in some gruesome shots that aren’t anywhere else in the series, and she gets involved in all sorts of life threatening situations. She still just falls over and gets naked. She’ll have fairly serious fights where she tries her hardest or the people around her are completely serious, and without bringing any direct attention to it she still ends up showing skin. There’s a point where every single character is at risk of dying at once to a trap set by the enemy, and Tamaki quietly laments over how she’ll be the only one to survive. She is completely aware of her ridiculous luck and her complete immunity to stakes, which is honestly just great.

Even beyond that, Tamaki is slowly being built up as more and more of an actual character, she has a short backstory section where her own hard work and effort is basically ignored by everyone around her, as if her success in life is only a result of her good luck, which is a feeling that hits very close to home to me (fuck you if you’ve ever discredited someones hard work because they’re “””””talented””””). And in the most recent couple of chapters, shes made an active effort to train alongside Shinra and Arthur, who both value the improvements they can make to themselves through hard work. No other characters in the cast make conscious efforts to improve from their status in the way Tamaki does. She moves up from a joke character to now trying to stand along side the main character as a useful and though out character. It’s a genuinely wonderful character to have been developed and the best thing I’ve gotten from this author.

VISUALS AND COMPOSITION

Okay enough about the characters, the last little thing I wanna touch on is just some of the absolutely bonkers kinds of compositions in this manga. One of the villains has an ability that is explained incredibly poorly. Pretty sure it’s just a time slowing ability that has nothing to do with fire but whatever. The pages where he uses the ability have this absolutely sick warped look to them that plays with the panels in a way that couldn’t be depicted in any other medium. Just look at this shit.

Every panel has a different background and yet still describes a single cut in time. It might not really mean anything, but that’s fucking sick dude.

Another pretty interesting one is this one kid named Nataku, who has an ability forced onto him by a maniac with a motif of stars for eyes, who dies immediately after. This event is shown to have absolutely traumatized him not because its directly said, but because this dead character appears constantly in panels with this kid, sometimes taking up the entire background to yell at him, or being an almost impossible to see spec lingering behind him. Nataku is also drawn in this strange sketchy style where he seems to be melting, and sometimes melds into shapes that resemble this dead character, such Nataku’s mouth becoming the fucking eyeball of the dead guy, star pupil and everything. It’s just such a specific and horrific way to depict that kind of identity trauma and it really stuck out to me.

I’LL SHUT UP NOW

And ye that’s about it. It was a lot of rambling and there are still lots of little things i like about the manga, good designs and cool fights and stuff but i just wanted to talk about the things that were really noteworthy to me. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve spent 4 hours just typing about stuff but if you actually read any of this, on this dead website of all places, you’re cool. Hope you found something interesting too.

#Fire Force #juvenile rant