#maybe you do something nice for him and he goes above ground to find you and thank you properly

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

*wakes up in a cold sweat*

Melusine Foul Legacy........

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #gi ajax #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #THINK ABOUT IT..... HE'S JUST A LIL GUY........ #he's a melusine who's grown attached to you... #brings you components to show that he likes you....... #he def lives in the ocean parts of Merusea Village #art prompt feel free to use this (and show me when you're done hehe) #and yes i KNOW they're all female but I make the rules ok /hj #i feel like he'd stay in Merusea his whole life and only ventures out to follow you #maybe you do something nice for him and he goes above ground to find you and thank you properly #wifi's brainrot #good evening :)

[sillysowa]

Ok I have a request :) could maybe guess who this is but AHDBSH

The fem reader is a villain while Hobie is the “hero”(not rlly but I forgot what it’s called) that’s been tracking down the reader. But, during the day the both live their normal lives, the readers day job being a barista at the local Cafe. Of course during the night her identity is hidden so she isn’t recognized during the day, which leads to the one morning when Hobie goes to the local coffee shop to order a drink and unknowingly ordering it from his masked nemesis.

What’d ya think? <3

I LOVE your brain anon! Sorry for the wait and if it seems rushed!

BEHIND THE MASK

pairing : hobie brown x fem!prowler!reader

genre : fluff, slightly suggestive

word count : 3k

warnings : violence

authors note : reader is the prowler but i have incredibly minimal knowledge on the prowler lol

synopsis : hobie has a date with a cute barista who just so happens to be the prowler

—

“And what exactly do you think you’re doin?”

Spiderpunk’s agonizing voice cuts through the silence of the night and you freeze in your tracks. You knew he’d find you tonight—always chasing after you like a moth to a flame, or a fly to a spiders web.

He drops down from the wall, thrusting his hands into his pockets and clicking his tongue, his loud boots slapping against the ground behind you,

“What’ya got in that bag of yours? Up to something you shouldn’t be?” He questions, coming right up behind you and whispering next to your ear. You turn around, your hands up as you look at him through your mask,

“Bold of you to assume i’ve done anything, I could just be out for a midnight stroll.” You shrug slyly, toying with him. You know just as well as he does that he could have tried to take you down by now, he’s clearly just wanted a little foreplay as usual.

“Oh, is it now? You’ve got this guilty air about you.” He asks, completely prepared for any attack that you might have up your sleeve, “You really want me to believe a dirty little liar like you, hm?” As he provokes you, his gloved hands reach up to your face only to get smacked away, but he only smiles harder—he expected it. A scoff can be heard from under your mask,

“Miss me, Spiderpunk? You seem awfully excited.” You sneer, voice muffled a deeper more menacing tone. His animated mask portrays his every expression, a squinty smirk plastered on his face,

“How’d you know?” He smirks, coming closer. You flex your fingers, claws baring menacingly before you rip a smoke bomb off your belt and slam it down, making Spiderpunk stumble back before you lunge at him through the cloud. His senses go wild, and he web shoots to the wall, swinging around and pulling his guitar out while you’re down. Your momentum landing you on your knees after he dodged, and you can’t react fast enough for his attack. He’s got his guitar above his head before he slams it down on your back,

“Ah!—Fuck me!” You grumble, rolling over and jumping up, shaking your head with your hands in front of you defensively.

“Only if you ask nicely, gorgeous,” He’s got his guitar out on display as if it’s a sword, making you scoff,

“In your dreams.” Your crack your neck and lunge at him, grunting and swinging wherever you can reach from your stance. You’d never admit it, but his height creeped you out and excited you all at once. Never in a million years would you get with a person like Spiderpunk—a loud, obnoxious, wannabe ‘hero’—but the fact that he towered over you like he did made you nervous in the best way possible. You tried to ignore the feelings deep in your stomach and focus on the way that made you feel about your fighting, afraid that he could overpower you if you let your guard down even slightly—which you did. He had used his fucking guitar pick—the small object somehow slicing your arm. You gasped and he hurriedly backed up, nearly tripping over his feet. At first he was dodging your punches well until you threw a right hook in, your knuckles meeting his jaw with as much force as you could muster,

He had no time to react as he stumbled down. You kicked him across the face and pinned his hands down under your shoes. You knew you had to act fast and get the hell away from him,

“Couldn’t have wined and dined me first?” He quips, his wrists pinned beside his head and his legs spread under you. It’s quite a sight—the city’s hero sprawled out under you like this at your mercy. You shake the thoughts out of your head,

“Catch you later, Spiderpunk.” You rasp, reaching to your belt and popping the cap off a homemade bomb. His eyes triple in size as you throw it, your boot shoving his face down before you flee. He scrambles and slings away before the bomb explodes and the walls surrounding it crumble.

He watches from across the street as the damage ensues, cursing to himself when sees the faint glow of your suit as you disappear into the night. You were such a pain in his ass—but couldn’t keep away.

—

—?” You yell out the name of an order, setting a drink and pastry down. You smile at the customer who walks up and thanks you, giving them a quick smile before returning to the register, swapping out with your coworker,

“Thanks again, Y/N.” They sigh. This isn’t typical behavior from your coworker, they’re typically very hard working but they told you a chunk of their apartment complex was blown up last night. Of course, you had to sympathize with them and help make their shift a little easier—it’s the least you could do after being the unknown cause of their distress.

“Yeah don’t worry about it.” You wipe off your uniform and put on a smile for the customers of the small café you work at. It had been an exhausting shift—only 30 minutes in and it already felt like hell. You looked up ready to give your best customer service voice when your words caught in your throat…

The man in front of you was absolutely breath taking. He had these high cheekbones and pretty eyes, full lips with a ring to compliment them, perfectly styled hair and jewelry all over—god his fashion too. He had this punk rock thing going on, and he was absolutely killing it. Even his body language was attractive, the way his hands were on either side of the table, leaning over slightly to reach your level,

“Mornin’.” He starts, his deep voice only spurring on your attraction towards him, “Could I just get a…” He looks up, biting the inside of his cheek before sighing, “Having a hard time making a choice—wide selection you’ve got. What do you recommend?” He asks with a curious expression, bending down close to hear you over the machinery, clanging dishes, and customer chatter.

You’re stunned, not expecting you’d have to think. After a little stuttering, you can finally think,

“W-Well we have this Persian tea. It’s a black tea base with cardamom and rose petals?” You suggest, your face heating up when he smiles because of course he has the lost beautiful smile you’ve ever seen, “It’s my favorite.” You add, voice coming out oddly quiet and now you’re incredibly embarrassed for reasons you can’t name,

“Sounds perfect, gorgeous.” He eccentrically squints his eyes and shakes his head as he speaks, half lidded eyes locking with yours again.

“And the name for your order?” You ask, tapping in the details on the screen before making eye contact with him,

“Hobie.” And of course, there’s something about the way he says his name that has you melting, but you desperately try to ignore it and pull yourself together. He whips out his wallet and hands you a large bill, your fingers slipping against his as you take it into your hand. You ring him up and gather his change, which he adamantly refuses to take,

“Keep it.” The stunning man winks, walking away and waiting in the line of others who have ordered. For a moment, you stand there completely appalled. When you turn to look at your coworker she’s already staring at you,

“…Oh my god?” She mouths, her hand over her mouth, “You better go make his drink and write your number on his cup, girl—move over i’ve got the register.” She laughs in disbelief, just as flustered as you,

“Thank you, thank you.” You hurriedly giggle, feeling guilty almost at her eagerness before moving out of her way and fumbling around, steeping his tea immediately. You were extra meticulous when crafting his order, wanting it to be just perfect. You caught glimpses of the rockstar-like man over the counter a few times, and almost every time he was already looking at you. You had to bite your lip to fight back the smile that tugged at your lips. When you poured his tea in a cup and clicked the cap on, you pulled out your sharpie and wrote his name messily, scribbling your number under it. With a cheeky smile you set the cup down,

“Hobie?” You call out like you have no idea who he is despite holding eye contact with him. He walks over, pulling a hand out of his pockets and wrapping his long fingers around the cup,

“Thank you, doll.” He rasped, scanning you over one last time when suddenly he squints,

“Y’alright? Doesn’t look like just a little scratch.” He asks you with his eyebrows furrowed, pointing low and squinting in concern. You’re just as confused as he is for a moment, looking down with your heart stopping as you realize it’s the cut from when Spiderpunk sliced you with his guitar pick, the memories of last night flooding into your brain and causing a panic in your nerves, your adrenaline pumping in a flash,

“Oh this? I got this from a clumsy accident the other day, it’s really no biggie.” You brush it off, covering the cut with your hand and cursing internally. You want to hide and never show your face again, the worst possible outcomes clouding your thoughts. He doesn’t seem concerned about your response, taking it for the truth,

“You better be more careful then, yeah?” He playfully chastises, turning to leave, “See y’round, pretty.” And with that, he walks out of the café, humming in delight at the flavors in your favorite drink. He’s almost done with his drink when he finally notices your number on the cup, laughing to himself and freezing in his tracks.

—

You got a call that night after your shift—you knew you would. When you picked up the phone and his deep voice was on the other end you just about melted into your bed.

“Hey, Hobie.”

“Hello, lovely—never got your name.” He mutters on the other end, background shuffling and movements loud enough to reach your ears. He sounds like he’s flipping switches and plugging stuff in,

“It’s, Y/N.” You chirp. Hobie feels a smile take over his face as he learns your name, repeating it a couple times,

“Such a pretty name you’ve got.” He coo’s his voice low and sultry. You smile widely, stupidly giddy over this

stranger,

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” He says smugly. On the other side of the phone you can faintly hear what sounds like a guitar, an electric guitar, “How about we go out sometime, yeah? When can I see you?” He asks, his voice charismatic.

You think, caught between wanting to see him tomorrow and wanting to be careful about who sees you that day. Tomorrow you had shady plans, and you didn’t want to get him roped into it, “Hm…it sounds weird but can I see you at nine?” You ask with a questioning tilt in your voice, “I understand it’s late but—“

“No worries, hun, works f’me.” He insists, causing you to sigh in relief.

“Okay great! thank you, Hobie.” You smile, fidgeting with your clothes anxiously. He hums and you feel your heart race,

“See you then, Y/N.”

—

Tonight would be the craziest heist of your life if you could pull it off. Keyword, if.

You didn’t know, but Spiderpunk had been following you the entire night. He had to keep a close watch on you after that stunt you pulled last time. You had somehow managed to outsmart him and he couldn’t let it happen again. You were currently in an alleyway, your pace fast and your head down—you honestly couldn’t look more suspicious as you walked towards the bank.

“Don’t think so.” He mutters to himself, slinging down and following you stealthily. He crept along the walls, keeping a watchful eye on you as you literally sawed open the wall, following close behind.

You on the other hand had a lot of tasks you were juggling all at once—you were texting Hobie telling him you’d see him in 15 minutes, sawing the building open, and watching your back simultaneously.

Spiderpunk, who couldn’t yet see you well enough to notice you were texting with your other hand, jumped when his phone vibrated with a notification. He pulled it out and quickly checked it, his heart racing at your name lighting up his screen. He just had to take you down to make it to the date on time—easy peasy.

He crept into the bank, catching a glimpse of you breaking into all their stashes and safes, literally stuffing cash into your bag. You look rushed and panicked, not as tactful as your usual self. He find it entertaining and comical decided to mess with you a little,

“In a hurry?” That low and taunting voice makes your skin crawl, whipping your head around, fingering tightening on your bag. Of course he was here, how could you have missed him? Or more importantly, how could he have not missed you? You knew it was a shot in the dark to just assume he wouldn’t find you this night as he always does—you bet he has some kind of affinity for you. A gravely sigh tumbles from your lips, shaking your head and slinging your bag over your shoulder,

“Look—I can’t fool around with you tonight, let’s skip the small talk.” You grunt, clicking your claws into readied fists, staring him down with precision. Spiderpunk liked fighting you when you were playful, but there was something about fighting you when you were annoyed that really excited him,

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” He teases with a low whistle, webbing towards you feet first. You dodge, grunting and lunging at him, both of you rolling until he’s got you under him, attempting to restrain you. You bring your knees up and kick him off of you, jumping up and circling him. He stares you down for a while, that messy painted mask squinty-eyed,

“Come on.” He sneers, beckoning you with his two, very long, middle fingers suggestively. You laugh at this, lunging at him in a series of calculated movements. He fights you off, throwing out quips and sly remarks to fire you up. You swing at him, your claws out, and he struggles against you when you attempt to stab him with them, pushing your wrists against the wall and grunting through the struggle. You’re shaking under him, hissing and squirming in an attempt to free yourself when he webs you to the wall.

“Fuck! God—“ You groan, frustrated and beyond pissed at what this means for you. Hobie’s face flashes in your brain and you cringe at the idea of standing him up like this,

“Please! Please just let me go this time…” You grunt, the webs holding you down like a barricade as he pulls your bag off you, spilling the contents out onto the floor—your phone, your outfit for the date, and all the money scattered across the cool tile,

“What’s with the dress? Got a date tonight?” He hums, picking up the fancy garment before dropping it back in place when you just scoff. Hobie reaches down to gather up the money when he notices the time on your phone, straightening up and pulling his own phone out,

“Shit—it’s that time already?” You watch as he hurriedly texts someone, his thumbs dancing across the screen. You slump against the wall as much as you can being restrained, sighing in pure frustration when your phone buzzes.

You both freeze—you because you’re deathly embarrassed and Hobie because his heart drops into his stomach. Directly after he sent a text to Y/N, your phone lit up. He looks at you, trying to decode your body language as he bends down and picks up your phone, confirming his suspicions.

Sure enough, there’s a text from him, or ‘Hobie,’ right in the middle of your lock screen. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger, laughing to himself with his shoulders shaking in tandem.

You on the other hand are completely and utterly unaware of what just happened, still stuck to the wall and helplessly watching the scene in front of you. He stuff his and your phone into his pocket, muttering something to himself that you can’t quite make out before he walks towards you, the soles of his boots echoing in the dark empty bank,

“What the—why did you take my phone? What are you-“ Your rambles are cut short as his gloved hands come up to your mask, removing it despite your protests. After tossing it to the ground, he simply takes it all in. It’s you, his date—the prowler. You’re obviously still completely oblivious to what’s transpired and therefore furious,

“Answer me asshole! What good is seeing my face gonna do for you?“ And now, it’s your turn to be completely speechless as Spiderpunk pulls his mask off. Hobie’s dark hair springs out, his pretty face glowing in the low light and a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he watches you swallow the same truth as he did,

“Cant say I was expecting this.” He whispers coyly, eating up the way you instantly grow quiet and flustered, this extra layer added onto your relationship clearly only exciting you more. You gulp nervously, your heart racing at this sudden turn of events,

“Me neither…” You whisper, simply unable to be mad or upset when now you’ve got your cake and you’re about to eat it too.

Hobie doesn’t do much thinking when he unties you and kicks the money aside, or when he tells you to put on that pretty dress and let him take you out properly. You’re completely stunned, staring down at your prowler claws before stuffing them in your bag and walking out the hole you cut into the bank, Hobie waiting against the wall for you,

“So…about all of this?” You awkwardly chuckle, motioning to the bank, the money, and the mess. Hobie being the anarchist he is simply shrugs, extending his palm for yours and clasping it when you place it against his, slinging away into the night to finally go on that date,

“Not my problem.”

—

@ohxx @luxxtuxx @fatenpara @hobesbf @defnot-bri

#across the spiderverse #hobie brown smut #hobie brown x reader #spider punk #hobie brown #hobie brown fluff #hobie brown x you #hobie spiderverse #spiderman #silly’s fics

[its-your-mind]

Jon Chester trying to communicate and/or comfort with statements is the cutest and funniest and most in-character shit.

Sam just joined a possibly-evil organization and seems way too interested in gaining knowledge from the stories? Has a history with the Magnus Institute? Well fuck I can’t let him end up back there.

Canaries should stay above ground.

Colin keeps looking too hard into what he shouldn’t, but he doesn’t know enough to stay safe. I have to warm him.

Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed. Scariest movie I have ever seen.

(Brief interlude when Jon finds out that Gerry is alive and has a permanent address which is a big enough ??? and feeling of relief and hope to risk a single email with an address so Sam can go see for him if it really is Gerry, if he’s really alive and if he’s okay (and then he is he’s happy and safe and he paints and goes to art shows and he calls Gertrude GeeGee). Bit of a shame about the name in the email address, though. Who knows, maybe that woman will stop calling him fucking Chester…)

Ahem.

Anyway, Sam won’t let the whole “Magnus Institute” thing go, and now Celia is here? Working here? Recognizing his voice? (Martin had to remind him who Celia was — Jon feels that his lack of remembrance is justified, in this case. Those tunnels blocked off his connection to the Eye! Remember what happened with the camera at Salesa’s? He forgot everything that happened there! Frankly, he’s impressed he even managed to remember meeting Melanie and Georgie down there, let alone the names of their awful annoying cult members. (Jon, be nice. It was the apocalypse). Well, I didn’t see you cozying up with that poet, whatever his name was— (*with sudden disgust* Arun.) *trying to keep a straight face* ah. yes, him.) What is Jon supposed to do about this? Well. Fine. If Sam intends to poke around, Jon can at least make the dangers present there clear.

Statement and Research assessment for artefact CD137. Magnus Institute. … [Transcription ends due to interruption. Statement giver declared dead by paramedics at scene.]

So. They went to the Institute. He knows about all of it, there was a tape recorder there. They were… in the Archives. In the assistants’ area where Tim used to throw the caps of his glitter pens to see how many he could get caught in Sasha’s hair before she noticed. Looking at the decrepit remains of the filing shelves he had been so fucking stressed about organizing. In his office.

Worms tracks on the ground. All paperwork removed or destroyed. And when Sam steps wrong, the tunnels. Oh, Christ. The tunnels. He drops a key down into them as he falls. Alice catches him. They leave. Some…thing takes the key Sam dropped. Unlocks the trapdoor, the one Leitner and Gertrude used to get in and out of the Archives. Here in Manchester, maybe the only way out of the underground passages. The trapdoor opens. Something pulls itself out.

~~~

And now, Alice has been being stalked by drowned corpses. Okay, sure. Yeah, shit uhhh… okay here’s one. Here, look, same kinda thing happened here. That tattoo artist shows up again too! Gotta keep track of reoccurrences. Learn as much as you can — the tip-off about the fire extinguishers saved Jon, Tim, and Martin in the archives. (And Sasha, before that… thing lured her into Artifact Storage.)

It belongs to the deep. I’m going to go get it and I’m going to find it and if they try and stop me I swear the ocean will claim us all. I can taste the salt and spray. It’s waiting in the water.

And now back to Sam. Back to warnings. It’s not just artifacts. The Institute deals with dangerous people, too.

This room, it’s a mess. Printouts, delivery notes, a bunch of rejection letters from some institute he pinned to the wall with a kitchen knife. And it's hot in here, dad. Too hot. Oh god. I can feel it. My throat is swelling. And it itches. I can still hear all the snakes brushing up against the door and... in the walls, I think. Christ, they’re in the walls...

Alice got attacked. He was there, he managed to get a tape on the scene, he heard it all. It was one of the drowned things.

Ink5oul knows something about them. What the hell, right? Michael gave Sasha the tip about the fire extinguishers. Let’s mine another colorful creep for information. Ink5oul dug one of these things up for some reason. Hold on, hold on, he just saw something about them, something about getting some kid to follow them to a graveyard…

We head on through the graves and then they point to one of ‘em and just give me a look. I was no cap shook and then they just said “dig”. I laughed, ‘cause, like, the ‘hell? But they were serious.

And at the same time, Celia keeps waking up on the ground, closer and closer to Oxford each time, like there’s something gently tugging her back towards the world she left. She doesn’t know how to stop it. Jon knows how that feels, the feeling like your own body is just a puppet tangled in invisible strings, at risk of starting a dance you don’t know, to music you can’t hear, at any moment, without any warning.

There isn’t anything that he can really do to help her. But he found it comforting to hear what happened to Gertrude.

I’ve lived Darien’s life for four years now. It wasn’t as hard as you’d think, turns out your world and mine are pretty similar.

CELIA (to computer): Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same is it?

No. No, it’s not. He knows that there isn’t really any comfort to be found in knowledge when all you learn only points you more and more towards the conclusion that you are alone, and helpless, and powerless against the forces that are dead-set on fucking up your life.

#tmagp #the magnus protocol #tmagp spoilers #chester tmagp #magp 17

[pearl-blue-musings]

Wine night YES!!!! Ohhh hohohohohooo do I have a nice one!!! Academic rivals that are working on the same lecture, they can't stand one another despite admitting that MAYBE they're not AS BAD as they think they are. At the library they both find themselves reaching for the same book. Banter wars! Sass!! And.....pent up stress that leads to...oh!!! Thank goodness NO ONE comes back here Q.Q

Oooooo!!!!!! Oh man the set up for this is so so so real!! I hope you’re okay with genshin impact!!

You rub at your elbow when the book you were reaching for falls to the ground. You go to pick it up, ignoring the hat clad scholar scoffing at you. Of all the people to run into at this time of night in the house of daena…

“Tch, don’t tell me you’re actually gonna read this? Looks like someone is finally using their brain here.” Of course, it had to be him. The newest Vahumana scholar and representative from the InterDarshan Competition who just so happens to be the Lesser Lord’s ward. Ever since he joined, he’s given you unnecessary academic competition and it’s been driving you insane. Every time you’ve written a research article, he’s always the first to pick it apart.

You snatch the book off the ground before he has a chance to reach it. “Are you done? Is this what you have to do to make up for your lack of height? Be an absolute dick? Your little mommy can’t swoop in all the time and bail you out.” You cross your arms indignantly and smirk at him in front of the bookcase. Wanderer, or Hat Guy as you’ve called him, clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. He tries to get past you to look for another collection of records nearby. Finally having enough of his shit, you stop him and get in his way. A deep sigh escapes his lips and he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Get the fuck out of my way.”

“No.”

“Do you plan on obstructing my research more by being a nuisance?”

“Hmm,” you hum, “you know all about that don’t you? Always having something snarky to say to everything I publish!”

He crosses his arm and flicks his hat. “I wouldn’t do that if you knew what the hell you were talking about. If you did better research, I wouldn’t have to correct you.”

That strikes a nerve.

He tries to push pass you but you hold firm. Getting more irritated by the second, he grabs your shoulders and pushes you against the bookshelf. His nose brushes against yours as he breathes angrily above you. “You,” he seethes out, “are getting in my way and on my last nerve. Now for the last fucking time, move.”

For some reason, your heart is beating out of your chest with how close he is. You dart your eyes away from his intense stare briefly. “No.”

“Fuckin…”

He leans in to kiss you, pressing his body close to yours as the kiss deepens. You tilt your head to the side as all of your unsaid emotions are coming front and center. One hand is firmly on your hip while his other is above you, you think, holding onto the bookshelf. He bites at your lip possessively and hums into your mouth. The kiss ends suddenly and you flutter your eyes open. Just what the hell was that? You’re not sure but maybe-

“Got my book.”

You blink dumbfoundedly as he has the book he needs in one hand, smirking at your expression as he drags his thumb over his lip.

“Thanks for getting in my way,” he rumbles out, “you should do it more often.”

Elle’s Wine Night anything goes!!

#elle’s wine night #elle’s anons #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche x you #wanderer x reader #wanderer x you #genshin wanderer #genshin impact x reader #wanderer x y/n

[xannsin]

ghost

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Penetrative sex, Praise

Précis: You just want to feel heard. And you were, but not just by him.

A/N: ‘ghost’ will do lmao, enjoy, @squimpsters & readers! :)

Edits & Look-overs: 2

Monday, 12:45 AM.

You're sitting down on your rather unpretentious bed in the barracks. It's so quiet that you can hear your heart thumping just a bit in your ears, but the silence is quickly interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. You look up to see Captain Price, standing above you. Your eyes meet his before he speaks in his stern tone,

“Your first task is night watch. Make sure nobody even gets close to base, that's all I have to say. Oh, and don't let Ghost intimidate you, L/N." and before you could even reply, Price spins on his heel and walks off. "Yes, sir..." you whisper to yourself as you were alone again. It was rather chilly out, and you were expecting the temperature to just decrease at the night went on. You put on your uniform as well as an extra undershirt due to the chilly weather. You stand up and dust yourself off before your thoughts return to what Price said. "Don't let Ghost intimidate you.”

What's that all about?

You step outside base, looking around for your night watch partner before spotting him when you turned a corner. He was leaning against a wall and was well aware of your presence for quite a bit now, but he only glanced at you once. “Hello,” you say in a cordial tone, but he just glances your way, looking you up and down as if he was judging you.  You shift uncomfortably. “Hello.” he replies after a few seconds, his tone cold and unwelcoming. 'Don't let him intimidate you,' you thought. “Well, 'low me to introduce myself. I'm Simon Riley, you can call me Ghost. I'm your lieutenant.” he adds, his voice just naturally menacing.

“Nice to meet you, Ghost.” you say, reaching out for a handshake. He stares at your hand for a few moments before reluctantly reaching his hand out. His handshake was firm. You could feel how strong his hands were through his gloves. “Let me remind you that night watch isn't a duty to be taken lightly, as it's to help protect against intruders and security breaches in-base.” Ghost says, letting go of your hand. "And we have to do this... a lot?” you ask.

“We're not always g'na be on night watch. It just depends on where we relocate to.” he replies. You nod your head, even though you still have so many unanswered questions. You think if you overload him with questions you'll come off as overbearing, so you remain quiet.

As the night goes on, you find yourself in a one-sided conversation. It's like talking to a brick wall with Ghost. It's obvious he doesn't open up right away, or maybe even at all. You're trying to find something entertaining to do because night watch is awfully tedious. “So, what's your story?” you ask, hoping he'd say something. Anything to break the silence. The awkward tension. He stayed quiet for a few seconds before letting out a quiet grunt which you could only assume meant 'don't wanna say'.

You sigh, slightly disappointed. This'll be a long night, no doubt, but you won't give up easily. “Well... how about-” you're cut off by the sound of his gravely voice “Listen, you seem like this nice person and all, but with all due respect, could'ya just shut up for a few minutes?" he sighed, not even looking at you once as he spoke. You remained silent for a few seconds, soaking in what he just said — it gave you some sort of perspective on who and how he was. Just a little. “Yeah, sure. Sorry.” you eventually say. He remained silent.

You just really wanted to dig a hole in the ground, crawl in it, and just hide at that point, but you had to remind yourself that your job currently isn't to socialize, it's to protect. That’s your priority. So, the whole night, you do just that. Sort of. You find yourself asking a few questions or two, and Ghost is starting to get so tired of it he just doesn't care.

“Why do you wear that balaclava?” you ask, hours already having passed rather quickly. “Can't share my identity,” Ghost replies curtly. “Why?” you ask right after. “Because I would be made a top target by enemies.” he sighs, “you're really startin' to piss me off.” he adds. You roll your eyes before going quiet again. This cycle repeated for the remaining three hours. Over the full night, he’d learned to tune you out, which was unfortunate for you because that just meant he wouldn’t listen to whatever you had to say, important or not.

Over the span of a month, you’ve grown frustrated. It’s obviously true that first impressions are important because they leave long lasting affects, minute or major. Ghost probably sees you as this chatterbox that won’t leave him alone, but, you can’t see that that’s not the case.

One night, a little over a month after, you’re on night watch again, right beside Ghost. You’re silent, which is a little surprising to him. A part of him wants you to say something but he doesn’t admit that and never will, his pride gets in the way of that. He wouldn’t admit he tolerated you more than he tolerated others. You annoyed him, sure, but you were consistent about it. Usually people he pushed away would just give up, but you, you just…

You didn’t give up. You always checked up on him after missions, patting him all over worriedly to check if anything was hurting behind that gear, always talked to him and he listened. He was growing soft on you, and he hated it. He hated the feeling of being close to someone, it made him feel like there was some sort of warmth in his heart like how someone in love would feel.

Jumping back to now, you’re standing beside him on night watch. He glares at you every few seconds until it catches your attention. “What?” you ask, almost chuckling. “Wha — nothing.” Ghost mumbles, looking away and fidgeting subtly with his pistol before placing it back in his holster. Your attention is on him now. “Something bothering you?” you ask. “It’s nuthin’, Y/N.” he breathes out. “But you’re all fidgety. What’s wrong?” you inquire, but no answer that time either. “Let it go, yeah?” Ghost murmurs. You shrug and put your hands up before putting them back down and looking away from him. There goes the silence again. You’ve been realizing a main factor you talk to Simon so much is because you don’t necessarily enjoy the silence between you two. It makes you uncomfortable, and you don’t know why. You thought you were going to be the first to break the silence, but —

“Beautiful night, innit?” Ghost utters. You pause for a moment, “uh… yeah. Yeah, it is.” you reply. The two of you look at each other for a couple moments. You stare into his breathtaking eyes, almost mesmerized by them before he looks away. You clear your throat awkwardly, crossing your arms as you sigh. “Are the nights always like this? This peaceful?” you ask, making Ghost’s head spin to look at you. “Mhm. I go out here for ‘night watch’ just to relax out here.” he replies, making you raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘relax out here’? How are you relaxed while on night watch?” you ask. “Yea'. You didn’t hear this from me, but night watch isn’t necessary for where we’re located currently.” he replies, looking at you as he rolls his sleeves up to his elbows, revealing his tattoos and light healed scars that aren’t too visible at a first glance.

“Wait, what?” you ask. “How’s it not necessary? Captain Price assigned me to-” “Price lied then, didn’e? I guess he just wanted you to have some form of responsibility because you’re not ready for the missions and real duties yet, and he sees it. Jus’ my train of thought.” Ghost interrupts. You stare at him with your eyebrows furrowed before opening your mouth to speak, and you’re interrupted again. “I wouldn’t complain either. Just do your duty and you’ll get a real one in no time.” Ghost says. You cross your arms and scoff, “Whatever.” You could hear Ghost chuckling under his breath, as if he was laughing at your expense. You decide not to comment on it because you’re not trying to start anything with him.

12:00 AM, Two hours later

You’re exhausted. Your eyes are threatening to close shut and never open for a good while at any minute. Your body aches with fatigue, and overall, you’re just ready to go to bed. Ghost is doing perfectly fine, he just shifts his position every once in a while due to standing in the same position for a long time, but other than that, he’s fine. He glances at you and sees your state, causing his eyebrows to furrow. “Tired, are we?” Ghost chuckles. You’re too tired to reply, you just rub your eyes and groan quietly. “Tsk, so this is what you’ll do on a mission? Fall asleep?” he sighs, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close to his side.

You’ve never been touched like this by him before, but you’re not exactly against the feeling. You rest your head on the side of his chest, letting out a heavy sigh. Ghost began rubbing your shoulder with his big gloved palm, letting out a sigh himself. He closed his eyes tightly, screaming on the inside. Why was he enjoying this moment? What happened to ‘Ghost’, the world's second-most desired British clandestine operative? He just feels like a little kid in a candy store right now. That’s the effect you have on him, and he hates it.

He lifts up the arm he’s not holding you with to look at his watch. It’s already morning, 12:04 AM. “Guess night watch is over.” he sighs, looking down at you and noticing your breathing is slow and relaxed. You fell asleep. He lets out a frustrated sigh before picking you up and hoisting you over his shoulder with ease. He felt you instinctively hold onto him before drifting back off to sleep. He chuckled under his breath, his arm under your ass as he carried you back to base.

Once he stepped through the door, it was oddly quiet aside from the clanks of glass. Probably Price having a drink. Ghost sighs as he walks to the barracks where he’d plop you down on your bed. He put his hand on the bed handle, staring at you. He bit his lip subtly, his teeth grazing over his bottom lip as he watched your restful state. He draped the thin blanket over you, watching as you shifted slightly and curled up into a ball. He sighed and walked to his bed, which was across from yours. He lay down, feeling pretty restless with all the thoughts running through his head. Most pretty much being about you. He looked around and saw the barracks were empty besides you and him being in it. Everyone was probably having their drinks.

He grunted and reached down, resting his hand on his crotch. He rubbed his bulge with his thumb, breathing out quietly. He thought about how your hands would feel on his. Those beautiful, soft hands. He palmed his bulge, groaning under his breath as he did so.

Wait. No. This is wrong.

“God, Simon, you’re pathetic,” he muttered under his breath. “Just go to bed,” he thought. He let go of his grip, his hand slightly trembling. He sat up, took off his vest, before laying back down and rolling over.

The next night was the same, night watch. Same time, same place. The two of you were standing next to each other, except a little closer this time. It was more comfortable, too. Ghost adjusted his earpiece and you did the same. “Night watch is so mundane,” you eventually sigh. “No-one ever said it was going to be fun, did they?” Ghost responded, looking at you. “Ghost-”

“Simon,” he interrupts, “just call me Simon.”

You look at him, confused, but you nod nevertheless. “Okay, Simon. Simon, I think that I should be trusted enough to have an actual responsibility, don’t you think?” you ask. He pauses for a few moments, sighing. “You just need to prove that you are. ‘Trusted enough’ isn’t in our dictionary here, you know that. I may trust you but that doesn’t mean everyone else does.” he says. You shrug. He’s not really wrong. He looked at you before looking at your hand. “C’mere.” Simon said, taking you by the hand and pulling you close to him. “What’re you doing..?” you ask, your eyes wide. He didn’t reply for a while. You heard him curse under his breath, the word muffled by his mask. “I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you take that mask off? Just take it off,” you say. “Show my face?” Simon asked. You nod. “Negative.” he says. “Are you ugly?” you ask. He scoffs and lifts his mask up to his mouth, “Quite the opposite.” he grinned before taking you by the chin and leaning in, pressing his lips against yours. You flinch from shock, but you quickly return the kiss. The tension was finally dissipating. Maybe all the two of you needed was this. The tension was palpable for the past few month or two.

His tongue slips inside of your mouth, letting you taste him for the first time. You become weak at the knees, and he realizes it. Simon quickly sweeps you off your feet, picking you up and pinning you against the base’s wall. He stood in between your legs with your back pressed against the wall, your tongues swirling together sensually. The taste of his mouth causes a moan to slip out your throat involuntarily. You keep your arms wrapped around his neck as the two of you continue making out. Your bodies were flush against each other’s, and you felt Simon slowly grinding against you, feeling his bulge pressing between your thighs.

You two break the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your mouths. Simon panted softly, looking at you in the eyes. You reached over and put your thumb on his cheek, rubbing softly. Your fingers trail up at the edge of his balaclava, and your eyes asked for permission to remove it. Simon hesitated, but eventually he nodded softly. You slip off his balaclava, revealing the most handsome face you’ve ever seen. The brown hair, brown eyes, handsome face… you leaned in to kiss him again. Both of his hands move from your thighs to your ass, causing your legs to wrap around his waist even tighter. Simon broke off the kiss to begin kissing your jawline, sucking softly and leaving small red marks in his wake. He tilts his neck down further to kiss your shoulder blades, bringing out a soft gasp from you as he bit down and licked the mark. It’s like he was marking his territory.

All of a sudden, he put you down. He started taking off your gear, one by one. He wasn’t gentle about it, either — he wanted what he wanted, and he was going to get it. He finally got your upper gear off, leaving you in your undershirt and bra. He lifted your shirt above your head before tossing it onto the pile on the ground of everything he took off. He removed your boots and your pants with everything else on it. You were a little cold, but the warmth he gave you quickly made up for it. Simon began slipping his pants off with haste, just leaving them at his ankles.

“Turn around.” Simon commanded, and you obliged. You turned around and let out a small gasp as he bent you over. You could feel his bulge through his boxers poking at your sex through your panties. You put your hands on the wall of the base as you stayed bent over. Your legs begin trembling as your panties are quickly slipped off to your ankles. There it is. You feel Simon’s heavy cock slapping against your ass cheek, wetting it slightly with his pre-cum. “P-please be gentle, I haven’t had sex in-”

“No promises.” Simon interrupts, stroking his thick tip against your dripping wet cunt. He rubs his cock against it, doing everything but slipping inside of you. You whine at his teasing strokes, wanting to feel his cock fill you to the brim. “I want to hear you beg for it.” Simon says, placing his hand on your ass and squeezing. “Please, Si… put it in… please…” you beg. Simon smirked at your pathetic words and noises, but he gave in nevertheless. “You got it,” he whispered before slipping his tip inside of you, slowly thrusting in. You whined at the intrusion, and he reached forward and held you by the neck gently, rubbing a spot in your neck with his thumb as he took you from behind.

You whimper, keeping your hands placed on the wall for support. Your legs trembled as his hips snapped against your ass, groaning as you felt him go deeper with every thrust. He was only halfway in but it felt like so much already. “Si..mon…” you pant out, letting out choked out moans as he fucks you roughly. Your eyes fluttered closed, he was fucking you senseless. “Shh, good girl. You’re doing good.”

He began bottoming out inside you, nestling his cock tightly in your warm heat. Your walls convulsed against his dick, tightening and untightening around him. He grunted out in pleasure, placing both hands on your waist. He traced circles on them, continuing to pound you. Your juices slicked his cock, making him slide in and out of you easier. He grinned at the mewls of pleasure you let out, those pathetic little noises. “So needy,” he purred, gathering a fistful of your hair before holding onto it as he continued pounding into you.

He looked down, his face focused on where he fucked you. He watched his cock disappear into your cunt with every thrust, which turned him on even more than he was, if that was possible. You let out desperate noises as you felt his cock pulsate inside of you. You let out soft whines, “I can’t.. I can’t…”

“You can take it, baby. You can.” Simon cooed, pressing his hand on your back. You whine as you feel your climax approaching, your juices already beginning to leak onto his cock. Simon was so close, he could feel his balls pulsate. With a couple of more thrusts into you, he finally released, and so did you.

His hot cum spilled into you, your juices and his cum mixing, making a sticky mess. You whined weakly, and Simon grunted loudly, his muscles tensing and flexing as he pulled you close to him, his chest pressing against your back. He kissed your neck, whispering sweet praises to you.

The two of you got dressed and checked the time, it was past twelve. Time to go back to base. The two of you walked back to base, and you saw everyone in Task Force 141 standing in front of the two of you. You froze in place and Simon raised an eyebrow. Price walked up to you two before taking both of your earpieces out of your ears, turning the microphone from on to off on them.

“Had a good time, I’m assuming?”

#simon ghost riley #ghost simon riley #simon riley #ghost smut #simon riley smut #smut #so fuckable #fanfic #fantasy #ghost #ghost cod #cod #call of duty

[adrift-in-thyme]

Febuwhump Day 12: Semiconscious (Warriors & Time)

Ao3

CW for poisoning, vomiting, blood and injury, and a near death experience

————————————

He stopped seeing clearly long ago.

His surroundings are no longer distinctive shapes. No, they are mere colors now, smeared and edged in the glare of lantern light. It is as though someone poured oil out on the street and left it to be trampled.

Warriors stumbles over something substantial and nonexistent. Another wheezing breath tears out of his lungs. Everything tips sideways and he goes with it, tripping over his own feet. He collides with a lamp post, frightens a blurred figure, garners murmurs of “inebriated” and “not right in the mind.”

He doesn’t care. Not much is bothersome, he’s quickly realizing, when you can’t breathe.

Wildly, he glances around. The buildings lean right, then left, their glowing windows seeming to leer at him. The inn…he has to find it. That is where his brothers await, that is where he can get help.

Warriors gulps in air and gains nothing from it. The ground tilts. He goes down, bile rising in his throat. He has already vomited up everything his stomach contained. But his body is desperate, desperate to rid itself of whatever is killing him.

So, it tries again.

He comes up feeling no less dizzy, no less sick. If anything, it is worse now. When he shoves to his feet, his vision goes abruptly dark. For a moment, he is certain that this is it. This is when he collapses, surrendering to the bitter embrace of oblivion. But then it screams back into a mirage of shifting shapes and nauseating shades of vibrancy.

“Captain?”

Warriors blinks rapidly. Someone is standing before him – a woman he thinks. The visible edges of her expression convey worry.

“Are you well?”

He grins and it feels wrong. Lopsided, clumsy, sharp…a grimace more than anything else.

“Not to worry. ‘M fine.”

“Oh.” She frowns now. Or at least, he thinks that she does. Drunk, her silence screams. Irresponsible. “O-oh alright, then. Goodnight to you.”

It’s good a thing, his mind assures him, as Warriors gazes dazedly at her retreating form.

It’s a good thing that they think you’ve drank too much. Better than them knowing. Safer.

…yeah. Safer.

He is certain he’s going to be sick again. His lungs rise and fall, and nothing comes of their efforts. The ground churns like the sea in Wind’s Hyrule. If only it were warm here like it is on that beautiful beach. But no. Here it is icy cold.

He shivers, stops the failure of his equilibrium with a nearby wall.

Just find them. Find…find your brothers.

Darkness tinges his vision again, spreading like an ink blot on cloth. It grows from left to right, and he lists sideways, drifting towards it. Something catches his boot on the way over. He stumbles, fails to catch himself, crashes down in a tangle of long limbs and thick fabric.

“Oh, look what we’ve got here!”

Giant forms move in the borders of his waning sight. Warriors stares up at them, icy heat prickling the back of his neck and head. Everything smells and tastes of iron. Everything hurts.

“It’s the princess’s favorite little errand boy!”

Something flat and harsh connects with his cheek. Warriors’ head snaps sideways. He chokes, coughing blood onto the pavement.

Get up! His instincts screech. Get up and fight!

He ignores them. It’s so easy to do that now. They are usually so loud, so boisterous and unignorable, hardened and loudened by years of experience.

It’s nice to silence them for once.

“He don’t look so good. Looks like somebody already got a hit on ‘im.”

“Poison?”

“Seems like it. He reeks of something rancid and it ain’t whiskey. His breathin’ ain’t right either.”

“Well, then.”

A hand fists in his collar. The next thing he knows, the ground is falling out from beneath him. He hovers somewhere above it, gazing obliviously at the space before him. Something is there – or maybe someone – but he can’t make out their features.

“He’s all lonesome out here. Might as well finish what they started. It’ll be easy.”

He should be afraid. He’s not.

Warriors feels nothing now except pain. Well, pain and the curious sensation of drowning. Strange, he doesn’t remember seeing water anywhere around here. But maybe he’s simply floating in it, unknowing, unseeing. That would certainly explain how cold he is.

His body slams back into the ground, and what little wheezing breaths he had managed to garner abruptly flee. Dull panic slices through the haze for a split second – just long enough for him to grab a wisp of air. Then, it’s back, a fog as thick as the stuff hovering over Time’s Lost Woods.

Unavigatable. Unbeatable.

For once, he can’t win this battle. For once, he has an excuse to succumb.

And he’s not one for giving in – his stubbornness is practically unmatched – but throwing in the proverbial towel now…fills him with relief.

“Go on boys! Gut him!”

The words reach his ears, but he hardly hears them. And he certainly doesn’t comprehend. Everything is so very far away…

It’s odd how without oxygen the world grows soft.

His head flops sideways. Lazily, he blinks into the indistinct expanse of Castle Town. The colors run together more than ever now. He can hardly tell them apart anymore.

Its beautiful, he thinks, with a loopy smile. Like Arty.

The soft shink of deadly metal surrounds him. Pain streaks through his abdomen. He coughs. Blood spills down his chin and drapes his tunic in crimson. It is wonderfully warm.

Again, metal strikes. More blood, more warmth. More pain.

His eyes flutter. There is not much to see now. But darkness is beginning to be replaced with dazzling light.

It is as beautiful as Castle Town…maybe even more. It beckons him, envelops him like a hug.

Come, it whispers, in the voice of his mother, come to me, dear child. Rest.

Somewhere, someone screams.

Warriors smiles and it is a soft, gentle thing. He starts to step forward.

“No!”

Hands grasp his wrist, as small as a child’s yet, much too calloused to be. Warriors dares to glance over his shoulder.

Mask stands there, his green clothing even more vibrant in the world of white. Tears have turned his large blue eyes the color of Warriors’ scarf. His lip trembles, despite the way he has it between his teeth. And while his grip is strong, his expression is a rapidly crumbling wall.

Warriors feels the tug again, the call from the endless light. He needs to go. He wants to. Sweet Hylia, he wants to.

“Sprite…”

“You-you can’t!” Mask shouts, stepping closer. He is shaking, Warriors realizes. The child who has faced monsters larger than himself armed with nothing more than a cocky grin and a slingshot is shaking. “You can’t leave me!”

The tears fall and smudge the markings that have now appeared on his face. Shades of blue and red trickle down his cheeks.

Warriors blinks and suddenly, the child’s hands are drenched in blood. He gasps, stumbling back. But Mask holds on.

“Sprite, I’ve got to go,” he says, desperately, because he must see that he can’t remain here. It’s time…isn’t it?

“No. It’s not.”

Mask ducks his head, as a sob tears at his tiny body. Salty water plunks onto the ground. It sounds like raindrops.

A downpour on a sunny day. A child curled beneath his scarf, grinning mischievously. A beautiful woman laughing, face upturned to the sky.

A tear slides down Warriors’ own cheek.

“Oh, Link…”

“Please,” he croaks, soft now, vulnerable. Broken. “Please, don’t leave.”

A single eye meets Warriors’ two. A face marked by a war god crumples, every year, every battle, every loss written in the tears streaming down it.

The captain moves closer. The light seems to dim now, lessened by the aching in his heart. Time…Time should never look like that. If he could reach him, maybe he could make that pain go away.

Time drags in a trembling breath. Crimson-drenched fingers fist in Warriors’ scarf like he did so often as a child.

“I need you, big brother.”

Warriors take another step and another and another. He can’t stop now. The decision seems plain. Whatever is behind him, wonderful though it may seem, is not yet for him. Not when Time is looking at him as though he is his entire world and then some. Not when he can hear them now — the faint pleas of the other heroes.

His brothers. His family.

He reaches out, fingers brushing Time’s cheek. The hero’s breath hitches as he leans into his touch.

“I’m right here, Sprite,” the captain promises. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

With a sob, Time falls into his arms. Warriors closes his eyes and buries his face in his shoulder. And as they cling to each other, the endless white surrounding them comes crashing down.

#febuwhump 2024 #febuwhump day 12 #blood tw #injury tw #poisoning tw #near death experience #linked universe #linkeduniverse fic #lu warriors #lu time #whump #angst #trin writes #ohoho this was a fun one to write #I just love writing near death experiences for some reason XD #and picking on wars of course #that’s always a joy

[dairy-farmer]

Was thinking of how to Neat and satisfying "Pathetic and Needy Fuck" Bruce? And?

:Dc I may be a Genius? >:Dc

☆~Time Travel~☆

Specifically? Tim.

See, things continue to degrade. Like in most comics. Bruce gets meaner, more unhinged, more paranoid. Alienates his family, one after another, with his bullshit. Tim holding on because he started by trying to fix this Fuck Up and he's GOING to finish the job.

Only?

It gets to a point where he's realized the are in a Bad Timeline. Good people disappearing or dropping like flies, and the Justice Lords(evil Justice League) just a breathe away from happening.

He realizes? He COULD have fixed this. Yeah. Bruce WAS fixable. But TIM was too young and inexperienced to be able to truely help, during the time period when it would have made a difference. It's too late now.

Well, shit.

So he steals a Time Travel device, one way, from the Watchtower and goes to ground. Predictably, without him? It all finally goes to shit. But he really was only delaying the inevitable.

He studies what he needs to do.

Figures out how to Handle Bruce(tm). And? Realizes? That Bruce was always the most stable and reasonable... when "in a relationship". But... Tim ALSO knows EXACTLY how each of those relationships ENDED.

In trainwrecks. That left Bruce WORSE then before.

He needs somebody that... won't...

Huh.

He considers the logistics. After all, he's not above taking one for the team.

Bruce needs SOMEONE to obsess over. Get his "companionship needs" from. Take on excessively researched dates and buy bizarrely specific gifts for. And it can't be someone who contradicts The Mission, like Talia or Selina. Harvey or Ghost Maker.

He can do that.

So, acting before the now corrupted Justice whatever-they-call-themselves find him, he picks up the device and uses it. Time to erase this time line. Sorry, everyone.

Aaaaaand.....

He is short, perky, and freshly Robin again.

And Bruce is a messy bitch. A depressed, depressed, messy bitch. Mean and lashing out, too. But hilariously soft compared to how cruel he GETS. Tim starts with bringing him coffee. Snacks, healthy of course. Information for the cases he's working on.

Oh, isn't he HELPFUL? Can you teach him how to massage and stretch muscles? To keep his body in peek health, of course. Robin has to be flexible, like Dick. Say, can you review his technique? He's learned how to massage a bit. Just your hand. Then maybe your arm. WOW your shoulders are tense!

Little by little. Unnoticed because Bruce doesn't want a Robin, tries to ignore him. Misses things because he does, as Tim buries himself deeper into Bruce's life. Weather getting warmer! Shorts and thigh highs, since the cave can be cold. Mid drifts for work out. Pants just a bit too big, so they slip low.

Having long since used his parents name and card to by stretching toys. Plugs and dildos, that he diligently works into himself, starting from barely anything to something almost as thick as Bruce, over weeks. Every night now, making sure to keep himself just loose enough to take it. To feel good.

The tedious work he goes through for this man, he swears. At least THIS feels good. Full.

He has full memory of cases that haven't even happened yet. Makes SURE to be there, conveniently stretched, for the bust of the "unknown drug" ring that turns out to be knock-off Pollen. Oh noooo! Bruce, that thug threw a bag at him! He's covered in powder!

He definitely doesn't smile, as Bruce discovers first hand, that though less effective? Whatever they changed, also means the Bat counter-agent is rendered useless.

Oh how distressing! He is virginal and distressed, Bruce! His bits are all wet and feeling WEIRD~! He informs his quickly starting to panic Mentor.

Bruce drags him through a shower, stripping their contaminated uniforms. Is shaking. Hard. And Tim? COULD be nice. He truely could. Could ignore the uncontrollable and let Bruce keep his safe little bubble. His distance.

But he's seen where THAT leads, so that won't be happening.

He begins to "helplessly" rub at his clit. Rock his hips against his hand like he has no idea what to do with himself. Lean against Bruce's side like his legs are weak. Whimper and pant. Oh no, Bruce, what ever will you do? Look how distressed he is~!

Bruce folds almost immediately. Sliding to his knees. Dragging him into a needy, consuming kiss. Thick, calloused fingers are rubbing him. Sliding in to eagerly fuck his little hole. Guided down under the streams of water to Bruce's lap. To be dragged down onto his desperate cock. Fucked on the showers floor.

It's hard to breathe, with the water spraying down, dripping into his face. But Bruce is finally pounding into him. Grunting and moaning as he batters Tim insides. Tim desperately teasing his own clit.

He doesn't even ask, slamming deep and folding forward like he's collapsing into Tim. Chanting his name in needy little gasp. Hips twitching as he pumps his load deep into Tim's body. Tim didn't even get to get off. He keeps rubbing til he dies.

It changes EVERYTHING.

Tim knew it would.

Bruce can never be normal about fucking someone. Now, his hands linger. He pays attention. Pulls Tim into his lap. Stares and pants after him. Desperate for another go. For more.

Tim can use it as rewards. Does.

Talk to your coworkers, you get to hit it. Actually mentor me, get to finger me tonight. Want to go down on me, you thirsty bastard? Use your big boy words. Want to bend me over and rail me? Finish the reports on your desk. So on and so on.

He can sit on Bruce's face for hours and let him lick and suck Tim sloppy. Ride him in his office chair. Keep his cock warm all day. But Bruce has to EARN it. And dear lord will he move mountain to do what it takes. Lick Tim's boots, take his abuse, be USED by him if that's what he wants. Just fuck him.

Good thing Tim's here to fix this mess. Even if that means spending Saturdays with his legs thrown over Bruce's shoulders, letting him eat him out as a reward. Ehh, he can be trained. Tim has time. And if it all goes to shit? He can do it again.

Now be good, Bruce, and fuck him harder.

-🐼🐼🐼

bruce being unable to be normal over someone he's fucked is sooo good ❤️❤️❤️ and tim using that as bartering tool to get bruce to behave 😍😍😍!!!

#answered asks #anonymous #asks

[mamaestapa]

The Argument, The Date, & The Disappointment

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/N Y/L/N moved to Cincinnati, Ohio for a new start. Move in day arrives and she discovers something terrible...the apartment complex gave her the wrong lease. Instead of living with who she originally was supposed to, she's now living with the hottest quarterback in the NFL, Joe Burrow. Y/N is stuck living in the same apartment with him for a year...which the two are not thrilled about. However, as time goes on, they realize that maybe this wasn't the worst thing that could happen to them. Will Y/N and Joe stay enemies, or will they find themselves falling in love?

•chapter summary: You and Joe enjoy a morning together that gets ruined by an argument. Joe tries to make it up to you, but you have other plans

•word count: 4k

•warnings: fluff, arguing, language, mentions of sex, jealous and sad joe, ANGST 

series masterlist

———————————————————

November 4, 2022

You put on your red oversized University of Arizona sweatshirt and went out to the kitchen to make your morning cup of coffee.

You have the day off of work today, so you figured you would stay home and do some cleaning. Joe had some of his teammates over after practice a couple days ago and the apartment was still a mess.

You cant even remember the last time this place was properly cleaned. Gross.

You pulled a coffee cup from off the rack next to the coffee maker. You put the cup underneath it and prepared the coffee grounds. As the coffee started to drip into the cup, the bathroom door swung open and Joe walked out, clad in his black gym shorts with a tucked in black long sleeve that had the bengals logo just above his left pec. Towel in hand, he walked down the hall towards your bedroom. Well he wasn't going into your room, right across from your bedroom was the laundry room. He threw the towel into the laundry basket designated for towels and walked back into the kitchen.

Joe smiled at you as he walked into the kitchen, "Morning Y/n."

You smiled up at him as you grabbed the coffee creamer, "Good morning Joe."

He opened the fridge and pulled out the egg carton, a diced green bell pepper, chunks of ham, and shredded cheddar cheese. As he put the ingredients on the counter he spoke, "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good," you said with a nod, "you?"

"Good until my alarm went off," he replied, chuckling lightly.

"You didn't want to work out at five A-M with Ja'Marr this morning?" you asked with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

"It was actually seven this morning."

"Oh, wow seven?"

Joe nodded as he walked over to the stove and got a skillet out.

"Can't believe he let you sleep in?" you said, shaking your head, "Usually he's pounding on the door if you're not out by five."

Joe and Ja'Marr have a very weird work out schedule. Some days they're up before the sunrise, working out for almost two hours before their all day practice. Other days they're up at a more reasonable time, working out for longer.

Joe chuckled, "He was feeling extra nice this morning I guess."

You smiled and let out a laugh, "Yeah, I guess so."

You went back to preparing your coffee as Joe started making his breakfast. As he was whisking the eggs together, he turned to you as you put the coffee creamer away.

"You want any eggs?"

You shook your head. "I'll stick to my coffee for now. But thanks."

He nodded and turned his attention back to making his breakfast. You stood in the kitchen, sipping your coffee and watching Joe make his eggs. He grabbed a plate from the cabinet above him and set it down on the counter, sprinkling cheese over the eggs and letting it melt before he put a large portion on the plate. He turned the stove off and grabbed a fork, setting it on his plate. He walked into the small dining room that was just off to the side of the living room. You followed him, deciding to keep him company as he ate his breakfast.

You and Joe have actually started to get along. You think it's safe to say you’re actually becoming quite good friends. You have learned a lot about Joe and you’ve realized he isn't as bad as you thought he was when you first moved in with him. It's easy to see why every girl loves him.

He's a really nice guy, he's extremely humble, and he has a great sense of humor. And you have to admit, he's not bad looking, at all. He's actually very attractive...

But, you don't have a crush on him, you swear. You’re really happy with how things are going with Evan. The two of you have agreed to take things slow and not rush into anything. Both of you have talked about a possible relationship, but for now you’re just happy with each others company.

You sat down on the chair across from Joe, setting your coffee cup down in front of you. The two of you sat in silence as Joe ate his breakfast. You grabbed your cup and took a sip of your coffee. As you sat the cup down on the table, your stomach let out a loud growl. You clutched your stomach, making Joe chuckle. He stood from his chair and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a plate and filling it with eggs. He grabbed a fork from the silverware drawer and walked back out to the dining room. He set the plate down in front of you.

"Here. Can't go to work on an empty stomach."

You looked up at him, feeling just the slightest hint of butterflies from his kind action. He smiled down at you before walking back over to his side of the table and sitting back down.

You smiled, "Thank you, Joe. I don't have work today though."

He shrugged, "Doesn't mean you can't eat breakfast."

You and Joe made small talk as you ate your breakfast. You have to admit, Joe is a great cook. You don't know what he did to those eggs, but they were delicious.

You and Joe got up from the table and went in to the kitchen to clean your plates off. As you set your plate in the dishwasher, your phone went off. You pulled it out of your leggings and smiled when you saw it was a text from Evan. Your eyes scanned the chat he sent you, your face instantly turning red as you read the words. Joe closed the dishwasher and looked at you as you smiled down at your phone, thumbs quickly typing away.

"What's got you so flustered?" Joe chuckled, running a hand through his damp blonde hair.

You shook your head, "Nothing that concerns you."

Joe clenched his jaw and nodded slowly, "Sooo, it has nothing to do with shooter?"

You furrowed your brows in confusion, "Shooter?"

"Evan."

You shrugged, picking up your coffee cup and taking a sip of the hot liquid before you replied. "Maybe."

Joe crossed his arms and just looked at you with a deadpan gaze and clenched jaw. It almost seemed like he was jealous?

"What?" you laughed, "would it be a such a big deal if it has to do with him?"

Joe scoffed and let out a laugh of disbelieve, "Yeah it would."

"Oh come on, no it wouldn't."

"Yes it would."

You rolled your eyes, "Fine. Why would it be such a big deal?"

"Because he's my teammate, Y/n! I told you early on that my teammates are off limits."

Oh.

You forgot all about that chat the two of you had after you met Logan and Ja'Marr that first week. After the guys left you mentioned something about thinking Ja'Marr was hot and Joe gave you this whole spiel about how his teammates were "off limits for you to hit on". You told him you understood because you truly did see where he was coming from. Coming home to see your roommate making out with your teammate would be extremely awkward.

But it's not going to stop you from talking to Evan. You care about what Joe thinks, but at the same time, you want to be happy here in Cincinnati. And you know Evan can make you really happy.

"I never said I was going out with him." you said, shrugging your shoulders, "we're simply just talking to each other."

Joe rolled his eyes, "Oh don't bullshit me Y/n."

"Excuse you?"

Joe scoffed, "I'm not an idiot, sweetheart."

"Don't call me that. I have a name."

"Fine. I'm not an idiot, Y/n."

You crossed your arms and kept your jaw clenched as Joe spoke.

"I think you're forgetting that Evan is my friend and my teammate. I see him basically every day of the week. I hear the things he says about you, Y/n. I see the posts on your stories, I hear about the text messages, I know about everything, You're not just talking to him! And I specifically told you not to get with any of my teammates. And what did you do? You got with one of my teammates!"

"You are unbelievable."

"Oh I am?"

You scoffed and let out a laugh of shock, "Yeah, yeah you are! It's none of your business who I date or who I talk to. You don't control me, Joe."

He ran his hands through his hair and sighed, "I never said I did!"

"It shouldn't matter to you if I date Evan or not! Don't you want him to be happy?"

Joe stayed silent, clenching his jaw as you spoke. You rolled your eyes and shook your head in annoyance. He was being so unreasonable.

You decided to hit him where it hurts.

"And," you continued, "It's not like i'm going to bring him over here all the time and have sex with him when you're here if that's what you're so worried about!? Because unlike you I have respect for my roommate."

Yep. You’re referring to that time when you walked into the apartment and saw Joe hooking up with a girl on your couch.

He rolled his eyes, "Oh my god," he mumbled under his breath, "that was one time!"

"Yeah, one time too many!"

Joe shook his head and huffed out a sigh of annoyance. He looked at me and crossed his arms, the look on his face was extremely hard to read. He seemed annoyed, but almost disappointed, too.

"You know what Y/n? Fine, you win. You wanna date Evan, go right ahead. I thought maybe you'd respect my wishes, but clearly I was wrong. Wrong about you."

You felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. All of your anger towards Joe turned into confusion. What does he mean wrong about you?

"Joe, I-."

He shook his head, "Save it."

"Joe, just let me explain-."

"Just get out!"

You furrowed your brows in confusion, looking up at him with concern. You gulped as you struggled to find the right words to say to him. You opened your mouth slightly, trying to think of what to say. You struggled to form a sentence as tears began to well up in your eyes. You were so confused. Where was this coming from?

"Go be with Evan or some other guy on my team. Clearly they're all pretty important to you."

You shook your head, trying to hold back tears. You grabbed your phone and stormed out of the kitchen. You quickly slid your tennis shoes on and grabbed your car keys. You needed to get away from here for a bit. You were hurt and extremely confused. Joe has never spoken to you like this before.

And here you thought the two of you were starting to actually become friends. Clearly you were wrong.

You grabbed your keys and as you opened the door to leave, you turned to face Joe who was still standing in the kitchen with crossed arms and a clenched jaw.

"Screw you." you said to him, rolling your eyes and slamming the apartment door behind you.

~time skip~

"Maybe I'm just being dramatic, but I don't get it. This came out of nowhere?!" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in the air as you ranted to Macee, who was folding and displaying new t-shirts.

After storming out of the apartment, you decided to drive downtown to CincyStyles to talk to Macee. You knew she'd be able to give you some advice and talk you through the situation with Joe.

Macee frowned. She knew why Joe was being harsh, but she knew she couldn't say anything.

"I'm sorry hun," she said, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder, "he shouldn't have made such a big deal over something so small. So what if you date one of his teammates? He should be happy! You're a wonderful girl, any of those guys would be lucky to have you."

You smiled, "Thank you Macee. I guess I see where he's coming from. I did promise him I wouldn't go out with any of his teammates."

"Well I mean, technically you haven't gone out with any of them, right?"

You shook my head, "No."

Macee smiled softly, "See? He's just being dramatic then. You didn't go against your word."

You grimaced slightly, thinking about how to break the news to Macee. You did go against your word to Joe...

"I'm going on a date tonight. With Evan." you said, pulling your lips into a straight line. Macee's eyes widened as her mouth fell open in shock.

"Like a date, date? Not just a get together at the gym and work out kind of thing?"

"Yeah, like a date, date."

"Y/n," she beamed, "that's awesome! Aren't you excited?"

You were very excited for your date with Evan, yes. But after the argument with Joe this morning, something just feels off. You almost feel a little guilty? You get butterflies just thinking about your date with Evan, but, you have this other feeling that you can't quite explain. You feel guilty for going out with Evan, but you don't why.

You know you shouldn't feel guilty, but you do.

You shook your thoughts away and smiled, feeling your cheeks burn at the thought of your date later, "I'm really excited. Evan is such a great guy."

"He is, isn't he?" Macee asked, a sweet smile on her face. She walked over to the rack of jeans, re-organizing the sizes as she continued speaking, "You didn't hear this from me but," she paused, looking over at you with a playful smirk on her face, "Evan's got a pretty big crush on you."

"Yeah, he does."

You turned around at the new voice that had joined in on the conversation.

"Hey Alisa!" Macee said with a smile as she hugged the brunette woman.

"Hey! Trey and I were out, so I thought I'd stop by and say hi." The woman, Alisa, said. She turned to you with a kind smile.

"You must be Y/n?"

You nodded, smiling at her. She held her right hand out and you shook it, the two of you introducing yourselves.

"I'm Alisa, Trey's wife. You're Evan's girlfriend right?”

Your eyes widened. You were not expecting that.

"Oh, uh," you let out an awkward laugh, "No, we're not dating."

She covered her mouth with her hands, pulling them away to say, "I am so sorry."

"You're okay, don't worry about it," you smiled, "you're technically not wrong. We aren't official yet, but he and I have been seeing each other, I guess?" you said with a hesitant tone.

You don't really know what you and Evan are. You guess that's why you’re going on a date tonight. To figure out what label to put on your relationship.

She smiled, "Evan is a sweet guy and I've heard he has nothing but good things to say about you, Y/n."

You blushed as Alisa said that. You have nothing but good things to say about him, too. Macee, Alisa and you continued to talk for a bit until Alisa decided to meet back up with Trey. You said goodbye and you and Alisa exchanged phone numbers. It was good to have another friend here in Cincinnati.

Once Alisa left, Macee decided to close the boutique for the night.

You furrowed your brow in confusion. We never close early, especially on a Friday.

"Why are you closing up?

Macee smirked, "Because you Miss Y/l/n, have a date to get ready for," she grabbed your hand, "so come on. I'm going to help you get ready."

meanwhile

Joe's pov:

God you're such an idiot, Joe. I thought to myself as I let out a heavy sigh.

I really didn't mean to start some stupid argument with Y/n. I just let my jealousy get the best of me.

I want her to be happy, I really do, but not with one of my teammates. Hopefully you all don't think I'm crazy and you can see where I'm coming from when I told her my teammates are off limits.

I just don't want things to be awkward. I don't want to come home one night and find my roommate on the couch with one of my best friends. Am I so crazy for NOT wanting that to happen?

I walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. I couldn't shake the guilt that was building up inside me. My mind wandered to the moment before Y/n walked out. It broke my heart to see her upset. Especially since I was the one that caused it. I said things to her that I shouldn't have said. I wish there was something I could do to make it up to her.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and cursed to myself as I saw it was Ja'Marr. (Ja'marr is in bold, Joe is in italics).

Hey Ja-

Burrow, where the fuck you at man?

What?

I'm at Hubbards, we're waitin' on your ass to get here

Shit, *sigh* I totally forgot that was today

Man how the hell did you forget?

I'm sorry! My mind has just been elsewhere today.  Y/n and I got into a fight and-

Oooh, trouble in paradise

Oh, shut up.

*laughter* I'm just messin' with you man. What'd you get in an argument over?

It doesn't matter

Uh huh.

Look, I need to come up with a way to make it up to Y/n

That bad huh?

Yeah.

Hold on *silence* Hey Joe!

Hey Emma

Ja'Marr said you needed my help with Y/n. 

What do girls like as an “I'm sorry gift"? I’ve never fucked up this bad before, Em.

Well, anytime Sam and I argue we usually just have make-up sex and then -

Yeah nope.

*laugh* You didn't let me finish. Sam will get my favorite takeout and we stay up late watching our favorite movies. That always gets me to forgive him, maybe you should try that with Y/n?

Yeah, I think I can do that. Thanks for the help, Em.

Anytime, Joey. Good luck!

Thanks.

*silence* Aight Joey B, you comin' with us or...?

No, I've got a movie night.

With?

Who do you think?

Lucky you. *smirk* Don't tell shooter

*Eyeroll* Whatever. Well, I gotta go. You and Sam have fun, but not too much fun.

I should be saying that to you. We don't need Joe and Y/n babies .

Good lord...see ya Ja'Marr.

Bye Burrow, be safe while you fuc-

I ended the call and put my phone down on the couch with a sigh. My mind wandered to Y/n. It's been a couple hours since she left. I knew she had to come back at some point, but I wasn't sure when. I wanted the takeout and movies to be ready when she got here, so I figured I should get everything prepared now.

I remembered Y/n telling me that her favorite takeout is bar food, so I ordered a variety of appetizers from my favorite bar in downtown Cincinnati. I'm confident that she will like it as much as I do.

As for the movie, I rented her favorite: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. RomComs aren't my favorite, but I'm willing to watch it with Y/n if it makes her happy.

I don't ever get nervous. I like to think I'm a very confident person. Right now though, I am very nervous just thinking about Y/n coming back. I never get this way, about anyone. It feels foreign to me.

But now, all I have to do is wait and hope Y/n will forgive me.

Wish me luck.

~time skip~

Joe's Pov:

I was sitting on the couch fiddling with my thumbs when I heard the apartment door open. I stood from from my spot, gulping when I saw Y/n.

She was wearing black leather pants with a red tank top. Her lips matched her shirt, and her curled black lashes made her Y/e/c eyes pop. Her Y/h/c hair was softly curled, framing her face perfectly.

She looked absolutely beautiful.

No, NO. You cant think like that. I scolded myself internally. I sucked in a breath and stood from the couch, giving her a soft smile as I looked at her.

"Hi."

She smiled, "Hey."

"I uh," I cleared my throat, knowing that my cheeks were now slightly flushed, “you look nice."

"Thanks Joe."

I nodded. It was somewhat tense as Y/n and I just stood looking at each other.

"I'm sor-."

"About earl-."

I chuckled as she let out a laugh.

"You go first." She said, gesturing to me.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I overreacted and was a complete dick. I'm really sorry, Y/n." I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly as I continued, "I uh, I rented some movies. You're more than welcome to join me, if you don't have other plans."

Y/n frowned, "I have a date Joe, I'm sorry. I just stopped by so I could grab my heels."

I felt my heart drop. I tried my best to hide my faltering smile at the news.

She was going out with Evan.

“No, no that’s okay,” I shrugged, “I was going to watch movies with Ja’Marr anyway so…”

She smiled softly and nodded, “Well, have fun.” She walked past me and to her room, grabbing her shoes and then walking out of the apartment.

“Yeah, you too…” I frowned, disappointment evident in my tone.

I could tell she was still upset about earlier by the way she was quick to leave the apartment. I sat down on the couch, exiting the page that had How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days open. Y/n didn’t even notice the movie on the TV or her favorite takeout sitting on the counter with a note.

So much for my movie night and takeout apology.

hey loves!!

i apologize for how long this chapter is, i got a bit carried away lol

poor joe, right? he’s trying so hard :(

i hope you’re all continuing to enjoy this book!! i’m having a blast writing it!

also, prayers for anybody that has been affected by the severe storms that went through the midwest<3

i love you all and thank you for much for your continued support with this book! more updates coming soon:)

tags:

@jackharloww @ilovejoeburroww @dandelionwrites8 @ijustcrypretty @sinners-98-world @a-moment-captured @stainednailpolishremover @spooky-stoner

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x you #nfl imagines #nfl #imagines #welcome to the jungle

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Skeleton's or S/O's dog comes home very proud holding a huge dinosaur bone they just dig out in the garden. Main boys reaction?

Undertale Sans - He loses his jaw lol. Sans is not just a space kid, he's also a dinosaur kid deep inside. He never ran so fast in his life willingly in the garden to check if there was more. He's so excited. When Papyrus goes home, the garden is destroyed, full of holes, and a very dirty Sans is sleeping in one of them. Papyrus is having a mental breakdown.

Undertale Papyrus - ... He makes sure it's not one of his femurs, you never know. But once he realizes it's not, he's really excited! That's clearly skeleton art to display above the fireplace! Sans stares in disbelief as he notices the huge bone a few hours later. It's quite ugly to be honest, but at the same time it's so freakin cool?

Underswap Sans - He's sad he's too late to ride whoever bones it's belonging to. He loves it though. He's going to show it to a museum to see if they're interested in exposing it. He didn't expect it to be a super rare dinosaur and now his garden is ruined because the museum asked to dig to find the rest of it. Welp.

Underswap Papyrus - He's just happy his dog is happy, really. He's celebrating with the dog and dancing, holding his two front paws. He really didn't care it was a dinosaur bone until Blue noticed it and said it was probably worth something.

Underfell Sans - Well shit. He's speechless. He let the dog dig in the garden to piss off his brother but he didn't expect it to bring a giant bone you know. What the hell is he supposed to do of this? The thought there used to be skeletons that big is quite scary actually. What if some of them are still alive? Are they going to die? Are they coming back to life? Ok, he's maybe a little bit panicking.

Underfell Papyrus - He screeches as the dog is running everywhere in the house, throwing dirt everywhere. He doesn't care what this bone is, he just cleaned the house and he's going to kill that mutt in a few seconds if he doesn't stop messing his house. That's why he doesn't like dogs!

Horrortale Sans - Uh. That was unexpected. He pets the dog's head to congratulate him, then just... stay there. Not sure what to do with this. Willow probably won't want that in the house so he just plants it on the floor in the middle of the cow enclosure as a decoration because why not. The cows are so confused.

Horrortale Papyrus - Damn. That bone is as big as he is. How the hell did his dog carry it to him? ... Well, now this is a bit suspicious. Should he be worried his dog has supernatural force? Uh. He's calling Toriel, just in case. What if his dog is becoming a dog monster? That's probably something that should be addressed.

Swapfell Sans - All he sees is free money. He's going to dig the rest of the dinosaur himself, using his own claws. He knows how much it's worth and he's going to make people pay so much for it their wallet is going to explode. This is the best day of his life. Rus is a bit concerned when he notices him later digging the ground like a crazy gremlin in his expensive homemade suit, laughing like a maniac to himself. He discreetly calls Alphys to go check on him lol.

Swapfell Papyrus - He adds the big bones to his "weird things my dog found" collection, right between a part of an alien spaceship and a shark teeth he found in the middle of the city somehow. That's quite a nice addition.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Pfff. You call that a big bone? That's pitiful. He can make bones bigger than this, you're not special. He grabs the bone and blasts it to dust out of jealousy. Only after he asks Google how a dinosaur bone is worthing and faints when he sees the number.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He's inspired and paints a nice fresco on the big bone to make it prettier. He then exposes it in his room now that it's matching colors. He thinks it looks so cool. He hopes his dog will bring more so he can do the same with the rest of the skeleton. Somewhere in the world, a paleontologist died of a heart attack.

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #sans #papyrus #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

[anarcoqueer1994]

Still on a Steve likes Barbie kick and I'm going to keep putting that into the universe.

When Steve was 5 years old, he used to go to the store whenever his parents were in town, where they would buy him toys to make up for the fact that they were never there. It was back when they would still pretend they cared, feigning love between long bouts of absenteeism and moments of his fathers violent temper. He could get any 'boy' toy he wanted. Over the trips, he had gotten baseball stuff, a Fisher Price Farm set, a toy plane, Matchbox and Hot Wheel Cars; honestly, he had any toy a boy could want. But he wanted something else.

He would always pass the pink aisles filled with toys that were supposed to be for girls, and he was enthralled with one toy in particular. Nestled between the baby dolls and the easy bake ovens were pretty Barbie dolls with fantastic outfits and soft brushable hair. And he wanted one so badly. He would always ask for one and every time he was met with harsh words from his father. "Steven, don't be a pansy. Boys don't like Barbies unless they are sissies. Are you a sissy, Steven? Do you want your friends at school to find out?"

Steve always shakes his head, dejected. He then goes and picks out a boy toy, a toy his dad won't be mad at him about. But one day, something changes. One of the nice women who worked at the store, Mrs. Munson, had watched as Steve continuously was shot down by his father . She felt bad for him, so that day, as she checks them out, she slips a Growing Hair Barbie into the bag discretly along with the Lincoln Logs, before handing little Steve the bag, winking kindly at him as she does.

And Steve immediately goes home and runs up to his room, hiding the packaging under his bed before playing with the doll. He loved her hair and dress, and everything about her. She was glamorous and beautiful, everything Steve wanted.

He would sneak her with him everywhere, even slipping her in his backpack when he would go to the playground. Today was one of those days, going to the park with his nanny, as his parents were in Chicago. He would run and hide behind a tree, out of sight from his nanny, where he could play quietly with the doll.

He is so wrapped up in his game that he doesn't notice someone walking up next to them until they sit down on the ground beside them. Steve looks over to see a boy from his school in the grade above him. Panic fills his face as he tries to hide the doll. Even back then, his father instilled shame in him whenever he was doing something that wasn't traditionally masculine.

But boy smiles at him, one tooth missing from where the baby tooth fell out. "Hi, I'm Eddie. Can me and my dragon," he motions to the plastic figure in his hand, "play with you? Your doll looks cool and maybe can be a princess. Or knight, or a knight princess." Eddie starts to ramble.

Steve scrunches up him nose, confused that the other boy isn't making fun of him. "Wait, you wanna play with me and my Barbie, even though I'm a boy?"

"Yea! It gets lonely playing by myself and you looked like you were having fun!"

"Oh." Steve looks down, unsure how to feel. He really wants to play but what if the other boy just is playing a joke on him. "My dad says Barbie is a girls toy."

Eddie laughs. "My dad says that junk too, but my mommy says toys are for everyone, no matter what. We can play with whatever. So can we play, um...I forgot to ask your name?"

Steve can't help but smile at the kind words. "Sure! And I'm Steve. Oh and Barbie is definitely a princess knight and she is going slay your dragon!" He giggles.

The boys spend the rest of the afternoon playing together until his nanny calls for him. On the bench near her, he sees the lady from the store and watches as Eddie leaves with her.

They play again the next few times they are at the playground, always hiding the Barbie from the nanny so he doesn't get in trouble. But Steve loves it, making up adventures for Steve’s Barbie and Eddie’s dragon. Steve thinks Eddie could be his best friend.

One day, though, his parents are actually in town, and they make a show of taking him to go and play instead of the nanny. He doesn't think anything of it. They do this all the time to show other people they care. Steve and Eddie fall into their regular routine, but Mr. Harrington seems far more observant of Steve than the nanny, always acutely aware of Steve's actions so he can meet sure his son does not embarrass him.

He can see Steve's legs sticking out from behind the tree and the legs of another boy. He decides to walk closer to "check on" (read: make sure he isn't hanging out with the wrong kids). Steve does not notice until he is being yanked up by the back of his collar, fear filling his eyes as he looks at Eddie. He drops the doll out of panic.

"Steven Michael Harrington, what the fuck are you playing with?" His voice is low but stern.

"I...I..." Steve begins to stutter, a tear forms in his eye.

"You're not that stupid boy, answer me." His father is still speaking with gridded teeth.

"A Barbie, sir." He whispers.

"Where did you that?" His dad presses

"I...." Steve looks around, doesn't want to get Eddie’s mom in trouble, and is unsure what to say as he stands in front of his father scared.

"I gave it to him. It's mine." Eddie lies before Steve can say anything, watching what is happening, seeing the same fear in Steve’s face that he has felt when his dad has one too many drinks.

Steve goes to speak, but before he can, Mr. Harrington is pulling Steve away, leaving the doll abandoned on the ground. He yells out "Do not talk to my son anymore." Steve tries to protest, but his dad just grips his hand tighter around his wrist, shutting him up.

Eddie goes home with the doll that night, knowing Steve won't be allowed to talk to him anymore. He spends the night crying on his mother's lap, as Steve cries alone in his room over the loss of his first friend and his special doll.

~~

Years passed, and they don't talk, Steve too scare when he was younger to disappoint his dad, and by the time he is old enough to stand up for himself, he thinks iits too late. Things change, the Harrington parents being around less and less, Eddie’s mother passing, and his uncle Wayne taking him in. Steve grows into the all-American boy his father wanted him to be, and Eddie leans more and more into letting his freak flag fly.

But then the upside-down happens, and Steve grows some .ore, and then there was Spring break, and he is running with Eddie’s near lifeless body out of there, barely getting him to the hospital in time. But Eddie recovers, and they grow close again.

Everyone around them can see their mutual crush, but it is Eddie who makes the first move. Nearly 5 months after Vecna, Steve finds a shoe box wrapped in newspaper on his front porch. The note attached reads

"Would you still be my princess-knight? Maybe we can try our play dates again, except maybe we make it a real date?-Eddie"

When Steve opens the box, inside is his original Barbie from all those years ago with a pretty pink rose. Eddie had kept it all this time. He can feel a tear rolling down his cheek. Eddie cared enough to keep her.

It doesn’t take long before Steve is heading to Eddie's, ready to show him how appreciative he is.

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #ficlet #barbie #steve liles barbie

[blluespirit]

Episode 6 thoughts babey,,,,

Here are my thoughts on: episodes 1-3; episode 4 and episode 5!

Things I like:

Okay I see we’re starting off with emotional devastation write off the bat with a Zuko flashback. Dallas does a good job at portraying now-Zuko and before-Zuko. HES JUST TRYING HIS BEST HE JUST WANTS TO MAKE HIS FATHER PROUD OF HIM!! HE WANTS TO HELP OTHERS AND HES PUNISHED FOR IT!! 😭😭😭

Finally!!!! we are getting more Zuko and Zhao conflict. We needed to see more of Zhao as a villain

June flirting with Iroh is so funny and far better than in the og

anyone: this place is impenetrable. zuko: say no more 😉

oh my god they did the zuko sequence of him taking out those guards to get to Aang so well!

Love the whole zuko rescuing Aang from Zhao it was perfect ✨

Zuko meticulously finding out all the information he can about the past Avatars to the point where Aang says no one else knows this stuff is so important to me

Also I like how Aang and Zuko got a longer conversation than in canon. they had a nice moment there 😌 that will get Zuko Contemplating Treason for sure. Well actually - more treason than what he’s already done (thinking about you: siege of the north)

the 41st division being Zuko’s crew is an interesting choice!!! I’m actually sobbing about it!! To me it’s both a bad and good choice. I’ve explained my thoughts below and in the next section

Despite what I say below, Zuko’s crew bowing to him after they find out Zuko’s actions saved their life is such a good scene. Zuko seeing the product of having compassion and empathy for others as something positive, rather than something he’s ultimately punished for.

things I don’t like:

Zhao’s speech kinda sucked tbh. in the og it was much more grand and terrifying. He's on ground level with the soldiers instead of on that grand balcony. In the original he goats how fire is the superior element, how they're going to raze the Earth Kingdom to the ground. But in this one, it's just not the same level of brainwash-y propaganda-ryness that would have made SO much more chilling

idk but i preferred when Koh was a bit more mysterious and we didn’t really know much about him except that he stole the face of Avatar Kuruk’s lover and like some more vague info that leaves you intrigued about the mystery. like who the fuck is the mother of faces (i know she’s from the comics but still). And why did Roku steal it from him at all? idk im confused

Idk why they made Zuko stand and fight Ozai????? Ozai burning his own child who refused to fight him was a part of the horror of it all. Zuko refused to fight his father and begged for his forgiveness but Ozai still burned him anyway. I guess it still gets the cruelty across and that Zuko’s own compassion is used against him and Ozai is an irredeemable monster, but i still think it’s Not A Good Change.

Like I said above, Zuko’s crew being the 41st is not a bad thing! But I do just want to say that in the original, the attack goes ahead, and presumably, those soldiers die. It’s horrible. Zuko’s sacrifice is in vein and it was always going to be in vain because the Fire Nation as its stands would not allow it. Ozai would not allow it. I think that, like I said, it’s not necessarily a bad choice, but I think it does take away some of the horror of Zuko’s story (same as it does with making Zuko fight back in my opinion). HOWEVER, I do think it’s not all bad. I loved the scene where the crew bows to him - like I said above 🥹

Aang just giving Koh the statue and then all the people are just freed and he doesn’t even say anything wtf 💀

also i was so excited for roku’s appearance but i just thought it was disappointing. stop info dumping!!!! leave something up for interpretation I am BEGGING. “And she is Koh’s mother. Koh longs for the same thing we all do. Family.” maybe i’m being a bitch about this but it just annoys me!!!!!!! stop spelling things out! Koh is so much better when he’s mysterious and unknowable!! why is Roku's whole presence to be here and info-dump about Koh instead of all the meaningful and wise interactions he has with Aang in the original. simply ✨no✨

As you’ve seen from my previous entries, I try to have more positives than negatives but there were some things in this episode that irritated me and that i couldn’t ignore lol hopefully it gets better.... 😅

There were still parts i loved! Aang and Zuko's interactions were great and teh whole sequence of them escaping was wonderful. I likes Zuko interacting with the crew and Iroh trying to care for Zuko but not really knowing how to reach out to him.

On to the next one!

#zuko #katara #sokka #aang #iroh #ozai #roku #avatar the last airbender #koh the face stealer #jack talks #live action series #natla #netflix atla

[b0und4gl0ry]

Alright, I can't really elaborate on my girlfriend, Beth, without elaborating on my life in general, and the event that led to my homelessness. so here goes:

Beth used to be one of my friends waay back when I was like 15-16, but I realized she was literally the fucking snobbish rich kid stereotype, so we got distant and eventually just stopped talking.

I just kinda hung out with my other friends, and did school shit for a while.

...

About a month or two after I turned 19. my dad came home, super pissed off about something, I don't remember. He apparently didn't like mom trying to calm him down, got Even more pissed somehow. He went to his bedroom, eventually, he came back out, I barely even registered the fact he was holding a shotgun.

You know what he did.

After, I ran to my room, broke the window, jumped out, and fucking booked it.

I had nowhere to go for who knows how long.

I just kinda existed.

Eventually, after what felt like centuries of fighting for my fucking life, I saw someone familiar.

A lanky calico with well kept fur and brown eyes. It was Beth.

I said hey, she said something, that I very much didn't expect.

She fucking, asked if I was okay

And the entire story spilled out my mouth.

She told me I could stay at her place.

And it turns out, she went on a self improvement journey or some shit, and she's... Not an asshole anymore! Lol. And nearly fucking telepathic with how well she knows how to read people.

We got close, I loved to just hear her talk on and on about something she loved, I loved just hearing her talk about some random things that nobody should find interesting... And I loved her dorky ass too.

And that's the story of how I almost died, And also the story of how I met Beth.

Honestly, if I were you, I would go back to where it happened. Hell, you wouldn't even have to leave your van, just do a driveby of the place, and hit the bricks if some bad shit happens.

- Stace T.

the first chapter of "Casey's Mixtape - Bound For Glory" will be added to this post. Asks specifically for Casey will be unanswered while I write this fanfic. Feel free to ask ooc questions though!

Please, don't expect Shakespeare here...this is my first fanfic. Crit appreciated! Fic below the cut!

Chapter One: "I Can Only Run for So Long - Kitsune"

There's a loud slam on the pavement as Casey Hartley hits the ground, disconnecting the feed to his Tumblr blog due to his phones sudden slam. It scrapes his paws, his knees...

And whatever's left of his pride, as well. All of his followers just got to witness him freak out LIVE, over something so small and harmless! She meant WELL, Casey! And you freaked out like a damn...some kind of...ugh...

He picks up his phone, finding a nice crack in the glass...which just sets him off more

"FUCK- GODDAMNIT!" He yells in a rage, kicking his van door shut with his paw, slamming it with a 'thunk'

He lays back down, covering his face with his hands, facing up at the sky. He groans loudly, his tail bristled.

"...it's...it's not real..." Casey whimpers to himself "...you're in Ohio, remember...?"

And then, he sits up quick, instinctively reaching for his belt in a haze...just to find...nothing there! Just like he said! That...fucking THING...it wasn't real!

And honestly? He wishes it was real, just this once...cause it'd give him, in his mind, something better to cry about.

"Fu-u-uck!" He cries to himself as he flops back down, defeated as usual.

He slowly turns his head upwards to look at the stars above. A vast, deep, black sky with white dots peppering it, like spilled salt on a countertop.

The air is cool, crisp, and clean...a owl hoots off in the distance. then the silence, deafening silence. Maybe a car passing by every so often, but mostly...

Quiet.

He's not sure what to do now. What's the decision to even make? Where is he going?

Sometimes, he even forgets where he is. After a while, every highway looks the same, blending into a blur of black, white, and fluorescent yellow. Moving fast, curving and swirling and moving...like a snake dragging him into eternity.

But he mainly feels...defeated. Like he's hit rock bottom again. No, more like he hit rock bottom and then kept digging.

He looks to the still open door of his van. His sanctuary. Home on the road. A...roam?

Roaming, it's what he's been doing for so long. Driving, eating, sleeping, interesting, and then all again tomorrow, like a snake eating it's tail and spinning in a circle. What's that called...a ouroboros! He thought about getting a tattoo of it once.

He's eating his own tail as we speak. He'll get up and keep driving. Eventually he always does. He's a stubborn ass.

The night continues on. Time will pass, and more trains will come and go. The owl hoots, the crickets chirp. The grass sways, the wind blows.

Casey crawls back to his van, climbing in the main living space, sitting on the dirty floor, littered with monster energy cans and...well, lots of soup cans. Geez, he's let himself go.

His voice cracks and wavers as he speaks, cutting through the quiet like a knife

"I...I give up" Casey wavers to himself, as he slowly inches towards the driver's seat

Casey sits in the driver's seat, the worn fake leather welcoming his form like a warm hug, and he starts the van. He's going back 'home', if it's still there. 

The van slowly rumbles to life, the engine humming beneath him like a purring cat. A quick glance at the clock on the dashboard--2:22 am. It really is late, isn't it? But it doesn't matter. He needs to drive. Go, Casey, go! Do what you're best at!

The van keeps going, the engine humming and the heat kicking in at the flick of a switch. Eventually, the old, cracked, pot-hole infested main road ends, and he finds himself back on the freeway. The stars above, the trees passing by...the silence is almost deafening.

God, the highway...highway 56? 64? Where is Casey Hartley? At this point, even he doesn't know anymore. The numbers on the exits pass by. There's the faint feeling of familiarity, but it's been six months, hasn't it? Has anything changed much? Probably not, right?

A road sign catches his eyes. The I-76. Ohio to Pennsylvania. He was this close to home already? Wasn't he just in Indiana? Wasn't he in Kentucky?? Wasn't he in Tennessee???

The actual 'radio' hasn't worked in a while, and he's too tired to plug in his phone to blast any kind of tune to wake himself up. Death Grips normally wakes him up by now...but...he can't bring himself...

There's a heavy rumble that stirs him awake. Rumble strips! Don't drive off the freeway, Casey! Are you fucking crazy?!

He jerks awake, staring at the road, and gripping a energy drink in his shaking paw and chugging it to stay awake. The artificial taste, which used to be fun and inviting, is now dull to his fried tastebuds.

He's almost back in Pennsylvania, and back to the town that's called home. But is it really home? Has it been the whole time he's been away, or has it become a foreign place? He guesses he'll just sees when he gets there.

The van dings softly. It needs gas. He needs to 'feed his baby' as he so loving calls his humble van. His baby. And babies need food!

And so, he finds a stop after pulling onto a exit ramp, dragging his little baby to a 24-hour Pilot gas station.

There are some lights, some people here and there, a sign about fresh snacks inside, and a small, gas station looking building where an attendant waits. She's a pretty Calico cat. Her name is Beth, as shown on her name-tag.

The attendant is a little tired. But they have a warm smile for him. They even said hello as he pumped some too-expensive gas into the van, letting it run for a bit first before setting the nozzle aside. He finishes, gets back, pays for gas, and decides to peruse the gas station's wares before he moves on.

"Aw shit...they got a Subway?" Casey says to himself. He actually loves subway sandwiches. He has cash to spare, and his stomach roars like a tiger. Yeah, it's dinner time!

He strolls forwards, entering the Subway quickly. The walls are beige, with the all too familiar smell of fresh bread, and the old, mid-2010's art on the walls, the dining benches...

But it's time for the main event, as he walks up to the sandwich making station. There's a short, black cat standing at the counter, and she's prepared for anything Casey throws at her, figuratively and literally, considering customer service work

But, no, Casey is ever so polite. He orders a All-American Club. Hold the tomatoes and most of the sauces...keeping the lettuce and adding extra Parmesan cheese to the order. He also picks up one of those "Sidekicks", specifically the footlong pretzel. Boy's gotta eat!

And, well...he gets a blue raspberry slushee too. That'll wake him up good, mixed with the caffeine in his system.

He pays for his order, his voice softer than usual due to his sleepiness, and he can almost swear the black cat does a double-take when she looks at him, but she doesn't say anything, at least until he gets outside and she scurries up to the kind Beth at the counter.

She probably mistook him for someone else, right?

But no more wondering, he needs to eat. He skitters back to his van, and hops back in the cab, setting up his laptop for a YouTube and Subway session.

He's gonna hate having crumbs everywhere, but...fuck it, it's his van.

He settles in, watching a video of some TF2 gameplay. Deep down, he's still a gamer. He remembers being a Scout main. God, when him and Gregg would play together, it was a troll-fest.

But now he watches Medic gameplay, mainly. Casey likes his voice lines...and design...

Well, nevermind all of that. He's gonna Eat Something.

He props up one of the flip-up doors under his bed that hold his clothes and other things, and is able to use it as a tiny table to place his bounty on. He places it down and unwraps the sandwich first. Now this is some peak home decor. 

Oooh, god, it smells really fucking good. The sandwich...tasty, with the bread and the cheese and the meat and the bacon! Oh, this is a great night.

And the Medic has a wonderful accent. It's soothing, in a way. Almost comforting.

The sandwich is a tasty one, as Casey chews through it like he hasn't ate for days...which may or may not be true. And it's a satisfying size, making eating it a joy, instead of a chore. Casey's got good taste in food, too. Casey is a bit messy, but he's doing just fine...his van, his rules.

It's Casey's mess, his rules. As long as he's comfortable, that's what matters, right? There's nobody around to judge him here, so there's not much that he should worry about. Just good food, good drink, good entertainment.

But after he finishes up his sandwich, and his pretzel, and his smoothie, ends his night with just scrolling around on Pinterest and boogieing out to music.

The more Casey looks, the more he finds, and the more he scrolls through, and...oh dear. Well, he should go to sleep soon, shouldn't he? It's like...2 am...The more Casey looks, the more he finds, and the more he scrolls through, and...oh dear. Well, he should go to sleep soon, shouldn't he? It's like...2 am...

Casey pushes the laptop off of himself, making it land softly on a cushion to charge for tomorrow. Sleep would be lovely right now, and he's got the perfect set up for it.

And slowly, Casey drifts off to sleep, snuggling into his pillow and probably thinking many things to himself.

Sadly, his dreams are never peaceful...Never.

#THE BELOVED ANON SAID #“RETURN TO POSSUM SPRINGS” #LINK THE FIC TO THE BLOG!!! DO IT NOW! #but no to be real I'm glad you have Beth #Stace #I hope y'all get married and have lots of silly moments now! #nitw casey #first fanfic #nitw art #nitw fanart #night in the woods #b4gresponds #b4gtalk #casey'smixtape #constructive critism welcome

[riddlerosehearts]

okay, the other day i watched a playthrough of the emperor's new groove video game for playstation 1. a game which, for various reasons, i have never actually played myself. but i wrote down a lot of things about it that i'd now like to share. this is basically a combination of my own thoughts on the game and a summary of all the insane things that happened in it:

the game begins after kuzco has already been turned into a llama and pacha is saying he can't help unless he builds kuzcotopia somewhere else. in the movie this is the scene which leads into kuzco going off into the jungle by himself, but the game has you start by exploring the general area of the village around pacha's hut, where his kids hang out and teach you the mechanics. kuzco also knows from the beginning that yzma is trying to kill him and encounters her as a boss multiple times in the story.

it's fully voice acted, and this is the first time that j.p. manoux had voiced kuzco. he would go on to voice kuzco in the emperor's new school and in various other projects, and while it would've been nice if they could've gotten david spade for these, i think he does a good job. pacha's voice actor is different from either the movie or the show--it's john goodman in the movie + season 2 of the show, fred tatasciore in s1 of the show, and brian cummings here--but he's not too bad either.

pacha: "don't take the villagers' coins!" kuzco: "the villagers are MY people, so those are MY coins."

tipo: "by pressing your action button, you can smash these red pots" kuzco: "good, i feel like smashing something!"

i'm kind of obsessed with the fact that these sort of standard mechanics that you don't normally think about, like keeping money you found on the ground and destroying people's belongings in order to steal their money and items, are explained in this game by the protagonist being an entitled asshole. also obsessed with tipo encouraging kuzco's destructive behavior.

chaca: "this pad raises the columns to form steps! once they're triggered, you better be quick before they lower again." kuzco: "uh, ever thought of making them stay up for good when you press the pad?" chaca: "uhh... no." kuzco: "don't tell me, you got the brains in the family."

KUZCO DON'T BULLY A CHILD AKJDSFHHDJSKGSG

there's a mechanic where you can continue playing from your last checkpoint after dying as long as you've collected a wampy. what's a wampy? it's the name of the funky looking plushie that kuzco has as a baby in the first movie and then again in kronk's new groove:

the above screenshots are from the emperor's new groove, kronk's new groove, and the video game respectively. this is a bit of a tangent, but something i find interesting is that in the emperor's new school kuzco secretly carries a plushie named wampy around everywhere for comfort and that plushie has the same basic design but completely different colors:

and the purple wampy is never seen in the show, so i can only conclude that kuzco keeps multiple of these plushies that all share the same name. maybe he leaves the purple one at home so it doesn't have to endure the horrors of high school.

anyway, back to the game--every time you collect a wampy kuzco hugs it and says things like "awww, it's my wampyyyy" in a cute little baby talk voice. fucking dork <3

there are several little scenes during the village section of the game where chaca and tipo keep showing up to give tutorials and he just keeps making snarky comments at them and asking why they're there and if they don't have anything better to do.

in one of these scenes, tipo shows up to teach kuzco how to open doors and kuzco just goes "how did you get here so fast?". to which tipo replies that this is a game. another time, when chaca explains to kuzco how the wampy mechanic works, he asks how she knows all this and she goes "i don't know! beats me!"

there's a part where some random villager tells llama kuzco to stay away from his statues and kuzco goes "i'm the emperor! open the door or i'll smash your statue to pieces!"

the guy runs off screaming "DEMON LLAMAAAAA!!" and then tipo suddenly shows up to teach you how to smash the statues. i think chicha may need to keep a closer eye on tipo in the future.

SPEAKING OF CHICHA. SHE'S NOT IN THIS FUCKING GAME. if i were actually playing the game and doing a proper review of it i would automatically have to dock points for the lack of chicha.

at the beginning kuzco breaks some kid's llama bike and then the kid keeps showing up in every single chapter with a new bike and challenging kuzco to races. he somehow manages to show up everywhere from the top of a waterfall to the middle of yzma's roller coaster and never once questions why this llama is such a jerk or why he can even talk. also, toward the end of the game you race him one last time and his bike breaks for the millionth time and he says he learned a valuable lesson. that lesson? that these llama bikes suck and he needs to stop buying them.

kuzco hates being touched so much that anytime a guard, bug, bird, etc touches him he says "no touchy" and then loses health.

at one point kuzco gets turned into a turtle and kronk shows up and asks if he's there to enter the annual village race. he refuses at first but then it turns out kronk has an item that kuzco needs to progress, sooooo you have to have turtle kuzco slide on his back down the hill and try to beat kronk in the race.

kronk is voiced by patrick warburton again btw. eartha kitt also returned as yzma for the game. they both returned for each season of the emperor's new school as well, and i believe eartha kitt in particular loved voicing yzma so much that every time they needed her, right up until her death, she showed up.

kuzco cries if you lose the race against kronk, which is understandable considering that losing means he has to climb up to the top of the hill as a turtle again.

at the end of the village section you have to run from yzma as she throws bombs at kuzco and once you manage to get away, kuzco says "you call yourself an end of level boss, yzma? you're rubbish! toodles!"

after this, kuzco ends up going into the jungle despite pacha's repeated warnings that it's too dangerous. and now instead of chaca and tipo, a talking bug trapped in a spiderweb appears to teach him additional mechanics.

when the jaguars from the movie show up kuzco says "time out" and then the frame freezes while he explains to YOU, the player, what you'll have to do to save him.

during the waterfall section chaca is somehow there AGAIN, at the top of the waterfall in a pink llama pool floatie, and is like "oh wow, another llama tied to a log!" (apparently one showed up the previous week) but does not react at all to her dad also being tied to a log. she just explains to them how this level is gonna work and then leaves.

she pops back up again a little later (still on the waterfall. they stretched this part of the movie out a lot) and calls kuzco "kinda short for a llama".

speaking of the game stretching things out a lot, pacha literally says during the waterfall levels: "this scene was much shorter in the film".

there's a whole other jungle section where kuzco spends an extensive amount of time having been turned into a frog. tipo randomly appears to help again during this section.

there's another race with kronk in an icy area that shows kronk to be an excellent ice skater. i would probably be terrible at this if i played the game.

when they finally get into the city kuzco tells pacha he knows the streets like the back of his hand and pacha replies, "but kuzco, you're a llama, you don't have any hands!"

when they separate and kuzco sneaks on his own into the palace, he gets confronted by a naked guy who's conveniently being covered up by a peacock and says the peacocks stole his clothes. he's blocking a path we need to go through so we are forced to find his underwear for him. this guy also does not question wtf is up with the talking llama.

when you get him his underwear back he, uh. well. he uses his magic sparkly underwear to fly away:

what is this guy, the incan version of captain underpants? kuzco then says in a deadpan voice, "this has gotta be the weirdest day of my entire life". can't argue with that!

i've gone way too long without mentioning that this game is primarily a platformer, which is a genre i kind of suck at and don't play often, but appears to have a lot of variety in its gameplay that makes it look pretty fun! the races with kronk, the part where you guide pacha and kuzco down the river, the part where you have to run from the jaguars, the stealth sections, and the various parts where kuzco is transformed into non-llama animals all have different types of gameplay to switch it up. the city is also huge and full of puzzle sections.

when kuzco defeats yzma in his throne room and then meets back up with pacha, they have to take the roller coaster down to yzma's lab and there's a level based on this as well. you have to control the roller coaster and turn it at just the right time to collect coins and avoid falling to your death. this looks like it could be a lot of fun to me.

tipo somehow shows up on the roller coaster to give another tutorial and kuzco tells this 6 year old to make him a sandwich and then insults his haircut 😭 kuzco i love you but why are you like this

before the final battle against yzma she says she's gonna drink a potion to turn herself into a hideous monster and rule the empire forever. and kuzco says "are you sure you didn't drink it already, you old bag of bones?"

there's this huge dramatic buildup to her drinking the potion. and then. it turns her into a cat like in the movie. and that's the final boss battle. you have to race against cat yzma to get the last potion to turn back into a human.

just from the video i watched, this race seemed very short and easy and therefore anticlimactic? but idk, maybe the person playing was just really good at it.

the final scene of the game immediately following this is kuzco visiting the village as a human again and we see scenes like kronk playing jump rope with chaca and tipo, the incan captain underpants guy flying around the roof of a house, bucky the squirrel chasing cat yzma, and kuzco + pacha's family all having a dance party while fireworks go off.

again i must reiterate that this game is missing chicha's legendary and iconic presence. my assumption is that since the characters seem to know they're in a video game, she didn't wanna have to help give kuzco tutorials because it would put too much stress on her while pregnant. still, though, it would've been nice to see her in at least the opening or ending sequences.

in conclusion: as i mentioned, i've never played this game, and the main reason for this is that i didn't know it existed when i was a kid--but even if i had i still most likely wouldn't have played it because i didn't care much about the emperor's new groove back then. the only reason i looked up a playthrough of it was because my autism brain suddenly told me i needed to learn about all of the official emperor's new groove media in existence. however, it really does look like fun and the playthrough i watched wasn't even 5 hours long, so now i kind of wanna give it a try someday? the writing is hilarious. not as hilarious as the actual movie, of course, but it was just so bizarre in such a great way and was very faithful to the movie's complete lack of a fourth wall.

also: this game has the best "game over" screen of all time. whenever kuzco dies it literally just plays a clip of the funeral scene from the movie, all the way through the "he ain't getting any deader, back to work!" bit.

#OKAY. here is my way too long post about the emperor's new groove video game for playstation 1 #which i found out is also available on PC. neat! #the emperor's new groove #disney

[witchthewriter]

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ    

SFW🌿

⭑ Steve always thought you hated him. You were always so quiet when he was around, and he took that as dislike. Rather than ..., you were a quiet person?

⭑ You had been good friends with Robin, she had moved in next door and her family seemed nice enough. But your parents absolutely pushed you to hang out with her. 

⭑ Not that it was difficult - Robin usually did most of the talking anyway. And you didn’t mind it. It was a nice reprieve. 

⭑ And then you met Steve Harrington. You knew of him, because Hawkins isn’t a big town, and thought he was an ass. A cute ass. But still an ass. 

⭑ Robin had invited you to hang out with them. And it was nice to be invited somewhere, but you much preferred to be at home. 

⭑ It was that interaction where Steve thought you hated him - but he didn’t know that you were autistic. That your brain was neurotypical, and your actions were just ... different.

⭑ Robin being a neurodivergent herself, meant that she understood the feeling of being different. But she hadn’t thought of bringing it up with Steve. 

⭑ Not until Steve confronted you a few months later, while you were at Robin’s house

    “Do you hate me? Did I do something to you?” Steve stood with his hands on his hips, an eyebrow quirked. 

   Heat rushed to your neck and face. “W-what? No-” 

⭑ You did your best to explain it to him. He was a bit confused at first but caught on. 

     “Oh I think Dustin might be autistic...” He trailed off before nodding his head at you. 

   “Sorry to be so direct,” he gave you a comforting smile - or maybe it was just a normal smile and it made you feel comforted either way. 

⭑ That was when you felt a crush start to form. 

⭑ Robin somehow noticed how you acted around Steve from that day forward. 

⭑ She brought it up one day and instantly knew you did like Steve. So she played match-maker. 

⭑ And as if Robin was cupid himself, she got the two of you together. 

⭑ As a boyfriend, Steve is perfect. As a boyfriend to someone with autism, he’s pretty close to perfect. 

⭑ You taught him a lot of things - how big crowds make you uncomfortable, how you don’t know different facial expressions, eye contact is difficult, and sometimes you just need to stim. 

⭑ He would take note of EVERYTHING. Steve would most definitely write it all down, with a pen and paper, and keeps it on him at all times. 

 “Y/n doesn’t like ‘XYZ’ foods,’ ‘Change seat covers,’ (because you don’t like the synthetic fluffy ones he has on) 

⭑ He just goes above and beyond. And of course, he doesn’t get it right all the time. But you know he’s trying 

⭑ He’s the type of person to start stimming with you - 

⭑ Calls people out when they make you uncomfortable or they’re teasing you

   “Hey! Watch your mouth!” 

⭑ Explaining to people before they meet you that you’re ‘different’ because he doesn’t know if you want others to know you have autism. 

⭑ Dustin being like “they seem fine to me???” 

⭑ Oh, and you do hang out with Dustin a lot. You think he’s great. 

⭑ You’d feel guilty about not wanting to go roller-blading or ice-skating and Steve is like, “babe I’ve done it all before, I just want to hang out with you!”  

⭑ If you don’t want to go out but have stuff to do, Steve will do it for you (groceries, medication, even buying clothes) 

   “Yeah babe I’ll get it for you! Do you want reese’s pieces or starburst? You know what. I’ll just get both-” 

⭑ If your favourite thing is books (reading/writing):

Steve will spend HOURS with you at book shops, and/or the library (where he’s in the kids’ section sitting on the ground with a bunch of toddlers around him while he reads to them). 

⭑ If your favourite thing is drawing: 

Steve will bring you over every type of pencil, pen, marker etc he can find. He will literally spend all his money on getting you art supplies that you have to tell him not to. He will get you books about your favourite artists and ask you question after question about them. Oh and he definitely requests drawings of himself. “No my hair has more definition here-” “Steve please-” “Sorry babe.”

⭑ If your favourite thing is movies: 

HE WOULD BE SO EXCITED. He works at the movie rental store so he’s constantly bringing you back tapes. All you have to do is tell him an actor/actress, genre and he’s all teams go. He would love watching movies with you dude! 

⭑ Robin still spends a lot of time with you. As if nothing has really changed, except Steve is there a lot too

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things headcanon #stranger things x you #reader insert #headcanons #autistic reader #witchthewriter

[xxkitty13]

Vampire AU pt. 4

Vampire Law x Human Luffy

Law gets more ticked off ;)

Previous -> Part 3 Next-> Part 5

Luffy sat alone at the large dining table. The food was enough to fill him up, but it was not quite enough to satisfy his appetite. Something was missing. . . Sanji’s cooking. That’s what he’s been craving. There was nothing like his sweet and spicy glazed ham or his savory grilled lamb chops. Luffy picked at the peas on his plate, he had of course eaten all the meat, except for the sides. It’s strange, usually he devours everything.

Sanji would hate to see him play with his food, so he managed up the strength to eat all the peas. He gulped hard, feeling the hard little beans go down his esophagus. Luffy groans from the pain and slumps on the chair. He’s bored.

Hanging with the Heart Pirates was fun and all, but there’s nothing like his own crew. He wonders where they are. That wild storm caused him to go overboard, but luckily, he was able to hold onto a slab of wood from his ship.

He hastily gets up from the chair and lingers out to the halls of the castle. The place is vacant, Law told him to stay put as he had private matters with his crew. For the first time in a while, he feels homesick. Yes, sharing the place with the vampire was nice, but it doesn’t “scream” home. The Sunny, that’s his home, he wishes he could be on it.

“Okay, I don’t care what Torao says. I’m going outside.”

Luffy changed the course of his direction and goes through the back doors of the castle. He scans his surroundings before taking a step outside. He takes a deep breath in, enjoying the fresh air. This was better, it’s nothing like the warm sun hitting your skin.

It was time for an adventure, he had enough of that dark and gloomy place. Today's mission is to find that beast from the day he arrived. That weird looking creature chased him all around the island and it was time for payback. Maybe it will be worthy meal, something to makeup the unsatisfying lunch he had earlier. So, he embarks, entering the forest that Law specifically told him not to go in.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖౨ৎ.𖥔 ݁ ˖-`♡´-.𖥔 ݁ ˖౨ৎ.𖥔 ݁

An hour or two goes by, and Luffy has not found anything exciting. Vast lush vegetation is the only thing that surrounds him, it is beautiful of course, but it is not the excitement he is looking for. He sighs deeply and slumps over the grassy floor. His eyes trail the sky above him, the clouds move in a steady pace, crossing the never-ending blue field. Sky watching is not fun at ground level, his arm stretches to a tree branch, and he pulls himself up.

"Oh, you can see everything from up here," he says looking over the treetops. His eyes scan across the open view and spots a small mountain. "Perfect, maybe I can locate the beast from there."

In a jiffy, he swings from tree to tree to make it to the mountain. It didn't take long before he reached his destination. He escalates the rocky terrain and hears voices coming from the top. Luffy proceeds carefully, not wanting to be found. Using the bushes, he hides inside of them and peaks out to see the owners of the voices. To his surprise, it's Law's crewmates.

Penguin and Shachi are at the highest point of the island. Each held a pair of binoculars, watching the island at all angles.

“I wonder what gotten into the captain. He’s on high alert," Shachi says, removing the binoculars from his eyes.

Penguin does the same and sits down to take a small break. "I don't know either. Do you think Doflamingo might be on his ass?"

"I doubt it. He doesn't seem to be scared, it's something else. . ."

"Where is he anyway? I wonder what's he's up to with Bepo," Penguin groans, going back to watch duty.

"I dunno, he said something about loading the missiles on the submarine. Whatever he's doing, he is definitely going to demolish the ship he's awaiting."

Luffy sits quietly, he's an idiot, but the word ship caught his attention. He continues to listen to the conversation.

Shachi proceeds to take a 360 view of the island's coast. "Oh, incoming from the northeast," — he points in the direction of the object— “is that a ship?"

Penguin squints through his binoculars and tries to locate the possible vessel. Using the knob, he focuses in on the black dot, and he is able to distinguish a weird looking ship coming their way. "Well, looks like our duty is over. Call cap."

"On it." Shachi takes out his transponder snail and dials Law. "Captain, we have spotted ship coming fast from the northeast direction. We have not identified the vessel."

Luffy's ears perk up at the vampire's voice.

"Head to the sea. You know what to do."

"Roger that."

The two leave their spots and run down the mountain, leaving the binoculars behind. Luffy is intrigued by the so-called ship. He picks on of the binoculars and looks out to the location of where they spotted it. At first, he sees nothing, but with a bit of focus, he's able to distinguish the ship. He suddenly drops the instrument and sweat forms on his forehead. It has to be a mistake, he wouldn't dare. . . it's the wrong ship. It has to be.

Without a second thought, he runs down the mountain, following behind Penguin and Shachi.

“Hey!”

“Huh? What’s he doing here-"

Luffy tackled them both, rolling down the hard rocks that cover the slope. The three men crash by an old tree stump, with Luffy breaking their fall with his inflated body.

“Ugh, what’s the big idea Luffy?!” Penguin groans from pain.

“What are you guys planning to do with that ship?” Luffy's tone stern as he holds onto the collar of his suit.

“Woah, calm down buddy,” Shachi says, trying to pull the younger off.

“Answer my question.”

“Chill out Luffy, we’re just following cap’s orders. I’ll tell you if you let him go.”

“Fine," Luffy grumbles, hastily letting go.

“Look, cap wants us to sink any ship that comes in contact with the island. I don’t know what’s the threat is, but he’s serious about it.”

“Sink?!” He yells out.

“Hey, calm down.”

“How can I calm down if he’s planning to sink my ship! My crew is onboard!”

Penguin and Shachi look at each other in shock. That’s the reason why their captain wants to sink it, to leave Luffy without a crew. As cruel as it seems, Law can be rash about things. Finding love is something he doesn’t want to lose, but he’s losing it already.

“Shit.”

The two are not heartless like Law. Penguin nods at his crew mate, knowing what they have to do.

“Look we didn’t know that was he’s aiming for your ship. Maybe if we can talk to him, we can knock some sense into him.”

“So that was his plan along. . . I see now. . .” Luffy felt his heart sting a little. That’s the reason he didn’t want him going outside. He was going to kill his crew and wipe his shit under the rug. Now he’s angry. He won’t forgive him for this. “I’ll stop him myself.”

“Luffy, wait!” They call out for him, but it’s too late. He’s gone.

“This won’t end well. . .”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖౨ৎ.𖥔 ݁ ˖-`♡´-.𖥔 ݁ ˖౨ৎ.𖥔 ݁

“Bepo get the missiles ready for departure.”

“Law!”

He turns around. “Luffy? What are you doing here-" Then a cold hard punch to face knocks him to the sandy beach.

“Captain!” Bepo screams in shock. The rest of the Heart Pirates stop to observe the commotion. The polar bear was about to barge in, but Jean Bart stopped him. "Hold on Bepo, let them settle this."

The stunned vampire rolled to his side and wiped the blood off his lips. He looks at his bloody hand and back at Luffy. The straw hat’s eyes glare at him in fury.

“Why?” Luffy coldly states.

“Tsk. You didn’t have to hit me you know.”

“Why?”

Law glares at him before standing back on his feet. He grabs his sword and places it over his shoulder. His leopard hat covers his eyes as he stares at sand he stands on.

“Answer me Law. I know everything.”

“I won’t let you leave,” he mumbles.

“Well, I made up my mind.” He pivots away, marching off to find a raft to depart from the island.

Law grits his teeth and clutches onto the base of the sword. “Where are you going?” he voices out.

“Away from you.”

“No. I command you to stay put.”

Luffy stopped his tracks and turned around. “Over my dead body.” Stomping his foot on his ground, he hints for a challenge.

“Tsk. You really don’t know what I’m capable of Luffy.”

“Okay, show me what you got," he asserts, walking towards him.

His red eyes shift to Luffy. He smiles at him. “Well, if it’s a fight you want. . . I’ll give you one.” In a swift movement he takes out his blade and prepares for an attack.

As he goes to swing, a blade intercepts, throwing it off to the side.

“Why you.” The vampire growls, snapping his neck to face the person.

“Zoro!” Luffy jolts in joy and runs to his first mate, embracing him. “When did you get here?”

“It reeked of bloodlust. What mess have you gotten yourself into?” He says, his eyes not leaving the attacker.

The vampire clutched his hat in annoyance, watching his mate throw himself on the unknown man left a sour taste in his mouth.

“How dare you interject in our matter,” He spat out, throwing his hat on the ground.

“Uh, Luffy. . . who is that?” Zoro questioned, lifting his swords up for battle.

Luffy let’s go of Zoro. “Oh, that’s-“

But before he could answer Law created a room.

“Shambles.”

A boulder is thrown at Zoro, who easily dodges it.

“Oh, this is getting exciting. Hey slanky branch, pick up your sword and fight like a real swordsman!”

The two smirk, riled up from a strong opponent.

“Wait, guys-" Luffy tried to get their attention, but nothing is getting through them.

“I’ll slaughter you into pieces,” Law hissed out.

Zoro’s eye widened at the sharp fangs. “Vampire. . ?” He grins. “Perfect.”

Law used telekinesis to levitate his sword at him. He picks up a small rock, throwing up in the air and he grabs it firmly in his palm. “Get ready, I won’t hold back.” Then he throws it at Zoro and before he could blink, the vampire was right in front of him.

“Holy sh-“

He swings the long blade at him. Zoro easily counters it with his two swords. He blocks it with great force, being slightly pushed back. The two are repelled backwards, analyzing each other’s strength.

“Huh, I guess I will be needing Wado Ichimonji after all.”

“Zoro wait!”

“What?!”

With Zoro looking away for a second, Law takes his chance to strike him. He barely dodges the attack.

“Law stop it! Zoro stay back!”

Zoro grunts, hesitant to pull back from the fight. “Fine,” he huffs, putting his swords in the sheath.

Luffy stands before the vampire, who is clearly enraged. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Captain!” Bepo wraps his arms around Law, picking him up from the ground. “Control yourself. You don’t want to hurt your mate, do you?”

Law snaps out of his bloodlust and turns his gaze at Luffy. “Fuck, what have I done.” His mate’s eyes are sharp, but soften. He turns away and heads towards Zoro.

“Bepo what happened?” Shachi exclaimed.

The Heart Pirates surround their captain, confused at the chaos at the coast. Bepo continues to squeeze Law, holding him in place. That’s when they notice Zoro and immediately up their guard.

“Luffy do you know this guy?” Penguin says, holding a long sharp rod.

“Hm? Oh, he’s my first mate.”

“Wait like mate or crewmate?”

Luffy bursts out in laughter. “You guys are funny.”

Law gave a nasty glare at Zoro and on the other hand, the swordsman yawns, unsatisfied with the fight. The vampire tries to wiggle out of Bepo’s arms, but the bear continues to put up a fight. He could easily break out of his hold; however, he would lose self-control. Law forced himself to resist his violent instincts.

“Hey, Luffy!”

“Huh?” The straw hat whips his head to the sea. It’s his ship, docked near the Polar Tang. Usopp waves alongside side Chopper from the rails of the deck.

Sanji jumps out of the ship and runs towards his captain. “Luffy you’re alive! Zoro jumped into the ocean without warning as we approached this island.”

Zoro scoffed. “Unlike you I’m always prepared for a fight.”

“What did you say? At least I didn’t recklessly jump overboard without knowing the situation!”

The two bickered as another voice caught his attention. “Luffy!” The red head girl uppercuts him on the jaw and banged his head to the ground. “Where have you been?! Did you know how much trouble we went to find you?!”

“Oh Nami. . .it’s nice to see you too,” he whimpered out, dropping his face onto the hot sand.

Law felt himself twitch. How dare this woman abuse his mate. “Don’t lay your filthy hands on him,” he growled. His red eyes appear once again, the struggle to contain him collapsed.

“Um guys, help!” Bepo said anxiously.

“Luffy who is that?” Nami said jolting back.

Penguin dropped his weapon and ran to help the bear. “Restrain him!” he yelled. Shachi and the rest of the crew circle around him and try to hold the angered vampire.

Usopp and Chopper hide behind Robin on the deck of the ship. Franky, Brook, and Jinbe approach the scene, lost at the chaos unfolding on the beach.

“Woah, what did I miss?” Franky said, taking his sunglasses off.

Jinbe walked next to Robin. “If I’m not mistaken. . .we’re in deep trouble if they set him loose.”

“Yes. We must stay alert,” Robin says, squinting her eyes at Law.

The Heart Pirates do their best to restrain their feral captain. He snarls at them, his fangs drawing dangerously close at them. Zoro watches the scene and turns to Luffy, waiting for a command.

“Say, what’s the deal with all of this? I thought he wanted to kill you? Now he’s gone mad after Nami smacked the shit out of you.”

Luffy only sighs. “It’s a long story, but we’re mates.”

“Mates? We have a new crewmember?”

“Uh, not exactly. . .”

“Well what do you mean Luffy? I don’t understand anything, why is he coming after me? You better do something!” Nami yells at him.

Law finally managed to free himself and lunged towards Nami. Luffy quickly interferes and punches him the gut. He then proceeds to pin him down on the ground. “Get a grip Torao!” He grits his teeth, as Law grunts in pain.

The vampire breaks out of trance and calms down.

“Fuck. I forget how strong you are.”

Luffy continues to hold him down and sits on him. “Why did you attack Nami?”

“Nami? Oh, her. . . she was hurting you.”

“I’m fine. That’s just how she is.”

He only gives him an apologetic nod and turns his gaze away. Luffy sighed deeply. “Why?” There goes that question again.

“Huh?”

“Why would you sink my ship with my crew aboard?”

“Tsk, I knew you would leave if they came back for you.”

“That’s no reason to kill my crew!” he raised his voice. “We could have figured something out, but now. . . I’m not so sure. . .”

Luffy releases him from his pinned state and proceeds to get off of him. Law sits up and grabs his wrist, pulling him towards him. “Mugi. . . don’t go. . .” he whispers out. “I can’t lose you. I’ve lost too many people in my life. I-I’m sorry. . .”

“Torao. . ?”

The vampire doesn’t look at him, his face points down. His hand trembles around his wrist. Luffy can feel the shift in his aura, it’s dark. The feeling of sadness fills his heart. It’s grieving, the human knows the feeling too well.

Law feels a cold breeze brush against his exposed hair. Before he could lift his head up, something covered the top of his head. “Huh?” He feels for it and the rough texture catches him off guard.

Law looks up at Luffy, he no longer wears his hat. “You look good in my straw hat.” That smile, that kind gentle smile. It captivates him. Without realizing, his cheeks glow bright pink.

"Pssst, Penguin, Shachi. . . is he. . . ya know, blushing?" Bepo teases, pointing at their captain. The two men look closely and are taken aback at the scene. They giggle, "Oh my, he is!"

On the other side of the beach, the rest of the Straw Hats join their crew, puzzled by the captains' quarrel and make-up.

"Uh, you guys. . . did you see that?" Usopp said.

Sanji starred in disbelief. "Don't tell me he's with that man. . ." He takes a puff of his cigarette and blows the pungent smoke out his mouth. "Well, I'll be damned."

"Not only that, but he also gave him his hat. He must be someone special," Franky commented. The rest nod in agreement.

Jinbe inspected Law and turned to Robin. "He's a vampire, correct?"

"It seems so. Sharp fangs and violent bursts of anger accompanied by red-shot eyes. . . all describes a vampire."

Chopper and Usopp scream in fear and hide behind them. "V-vampire?! Will he eat us?!" Usopp says, shaking in fear.

"I don't know. . . vampires can have an insatiable appetite, depleting you dry," she says coldly. Usopp's face turns pale.

Zoro only cackles out loud. "I knew it," he grins, almost excitedly.

"Is he dead too? It would be nice not to be the only one," Brook laughs.

It didn't take long for Law to realize that they were being watched by both parties. "What are you looking at?" he growls at Penguin and Shachi, who were fangirling. He hides his face from embarrassment with the straw hat. Luffy only laughs and stretches his arm to grab Law's leopard hat. He places it on his head and turns around to face his crew.

"Oh, sorry for worrying you all this time. No need to be alarmed, Torao won't bite," he flashes a toothy grin.

The Straw Hats look at each other, having little trust with that statement. Their captain jumps on the vampire's back and comfortably sits over his shoulder. "We'll talk later Torao; can you just be nice to my crew for now?" Luffy whispers in his ear. Law grumbles but complies to his mate's request.

"Okay you guys, meet Torao!"

"It's Trafalgar Law," he mumbles under his breath.

Robin gasps, her eyes widen at the revelation. "Are you that Trafalgar Law, the Surgeon of Death, the newest warlord?"

Everyone turns their gaze at Law, who only rolls his eyes.

"Warlord?!" Most of the crew yells out.

Luffy looks down at Law. "What? I didn't know that, that's so cool."

Nami facepalms. "What's wrong with you Luffy? You were hanging out with this man and didn't know this important piece of information. What if he turned you in?"

"Torao wouldn't do that, he's my mate," he grins, wrapping his arms around his neck, almost suffocating him.

Everyone's mouth hangs open at the sight. No way would their captain, the Monkey D. Luffy, would ever date someone, especially someone like Law.

"Oh yeah, meet Law's crew. The Heart Pirates were very nice to me," he says getting off of Law's shoulder and attaching himself over Bepo's back.

Zoro slowly approached the vampire. Law noticed and glared at him. "What do you want?" he mutters with a monotone voice.

"Do you perhaps know Dracule Mihawk, you are a warlord after all."

"No, I do not. Is it because we're both vampires? That's ridiculous." Law intended to be smart about it.

The swordsman didn't take that lightly, but only gave him a grin in return. "Well then, you wouldn't mind finishing our fight. I am curious to see your swordsmanship. It would be good practice, you're vampire and a swordsman like Mihawk."

"Heh, you think I would be light work for you? Think again."

The two men sized each other, but before they could escalate things, Luffy got in-between them. "Torao, didn't I say to be nice?" Law huffed in annoyance and backed away. Zoro did the same.

"Come on Zoro, you can fight him another time, but only if I could join in."

"Fine."

Luffy hugged him and picked him up off the ground. "I'll give him the last blow, he's pretty strong ya know."

Law locked his jaw, not only were they planning on ganging up on him, Luffy seems very fond of that man.

"I'm pretty strong too Luffy,” Zoro snapped at him.

"I know," he grins.

Sanji, feeling left out, joins in. “Hey, I can take on that vampire too!”

“Shut it cook, I called dibs first.”

“Hey! Don’t talk about our captain like he’s inferior to Mihawk, in fact, you guys are not match for him,” Bepo exclaimed.

Zoro could only laugh at that statement. "As if, your captain is the bootleg version of Mihawk. You could say he's practically copying him."

The Heart Pirates become visibly angry. Penguin picks up the rod from the ground and points it at Zoro. "I would be quiet if I were you. Don't forget you're on territory."

The swordsman's face darkened.

“Yeah, you’re on our turf, so why don’t you back off,” Shachi said, throwing a rock at Sanji.

Sanji angrily kicks the rock back at him. “You’re telling us of back off?! Well, we’re not!"

The tension rises between both parties and Luffy feels uneasy at the situation. Law noticed how uncomfortable his mate looked and immediately turned down the bickering from both of their crews.

“All of you shut the fuck up! You’re upsetting my mate.”

Both crews face the angered captain and at Luffy.

"Sorry captain," the Heart Pirates say.

Zoro and Sanji only back away, returning to their crew. "Luffy, are you really okay being with this man?" Jinbe asks as the Straw Hat's eagerly await his response.

"I am," he says firmly.

Usopp and Nami were about to protest but were cut off from Zoro. "He said he is okay with it,"—he proceeds to head back to the ship— “I'll be taking a nap if you need me."

Luffy watched as his first mate departed to the Sunny and sighs, "Look, I know we all started on the wrong foot, but me and Law are together now. We have to find a way to get along."

The vampire furrowed his eyebrows. "Pirates do not get along."

"But Torao," Luffy whines, giving him puppy eyes.

There he goes again, enchanting him with those brown doe eyes, he knows his weakness. Law could only grunt, "Fine, but I don't promise you anything."

Luffy hugs him. "Thank you."

"So, what now?" Bepo stands besides Law and tilted his head for a response. The vampire looked at his crew and back at the Straw Hats. Great, more people. This was supposed to be his solitary paradise.

"Let's head to the castle. We'll figure something out."

"What, a castle?!" Chopper stoked in excitement.

Luffy cackled at this reaction. "Wait till see you what's inside. Come on, follow me."

The Straw Hats follow their captain, their eyes not leaving the vampire as they walked by. Law could care less about what they thought of him, he only cared about Luffy. Still, his mate will not be fond of him being rude.

"Tsk."

Law follows after them, with this crew already ahead of him. He takes one last look at Zoro, who watched him like a hawk. It would not be easy for avoid further confrontation, but something about the swordsman ticked his nerves. He put aside the thought and prepared to interact with the rest of the Straw Hats. His hell was about to commence.

#lawlu #lulaw #luffy x law #monkey d. luffy #trafalgar law #vampire law #one piece

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #88: "Last Last One Forever and Ever" (aka "Live Action") | May 31, 2009 - 11:45PM | S07E10

This episode starts with the Aqua Teens all bursting into flames after finding out their water has been infected with fire. They try to warn Carl, who is currently farting in his above-ground pool with a stack of dynamite that he moved there so that the ants wouldn’t get to it. Carl ignores his neighbor’s pleas and it ends tragically, with the entire Eastern seaboard exploding. 

Then: DAAAAAANG, we cut to a live-action version of the Aqua Teens’ house! it turns out this (and implicitly, every episode of the show) is a story being written by Don Shake, a man in a white jumpsuit that wears yellow dish-washing gloves. He’s played by H. Jon Benjamin. He’s at odds with his roommate, portrayed by T-Pain who vaguely resembles Frylock. T-Pain Frylock has been letting Don Shake slide on rent while he writes his awful stories, which Don promised Frylock a percentage on. Unfortunately, his stories are all bad, and they make him none money.

Shake confers with Frylock’s brownish exercise ball, who sounds like a little guy we all know and know some more. He tries and fails to give Shake guidance. The presence of a sword is established. Shake goes to his job at a bouncy castle house, run by Dr. Weird, whose voice we hear on the overhead system. We also hear Steve. It’s nice to hear from those guys again, isn’t it? Anyway, Carl tries to interfere in Shake’s creative process as well, urging him to add boobs and lesbos. Meatwad is so displeased that he advises that Shake do something to Frylock with the sword. 

After a sword-related fake-out, we cut back to the cartoon reality, because Don Shake now knows how to end his story properly. The Aqua Teens are moving out of their house, and Carl is seeing them off, mostly to try and get their VCR from them. As they drive away, Carl solemnly says “truly… they were an Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”. Then he yells at them for leaving the emergency brake on in their u-haul as they screechily drive away. End of episode. End of series? 

Live-action Carl was played by David Long Jr., who was selected as part of an open casting-call contest that was sponsored by Burger King. There are a couple of DVD Extras covering this, but I’m not sure if they’re on YouTube. It seems much harder to keep ATHF stuff on YouTube without getting copyright stuck. Try archive.org. I remember him appearing in promos, and I’m guessing the guy made promotional in-person appearances at Adult Swim events. Actually, now that I think of it, I am pretty sure the one promo I'm imagining with him was advertising a college tour that he was bragging about appearing at. Did David Long Jr. come to your college and give you the thrill of your life circa 2009? Please let me know. How did he smell? Better than me? 

The live-action set design is wonderful. Meatwad’s room, which is actually Frylock’s exercise room in the live-action universe (he lets Shake sleep there) looks really great. It's sort-of a treat to see a real pile of sand in that closet. I don’t know why, but it is. I’m glad they didn’t chose to tidy up those elements that would make less sense in the live-action world. I would be more interested in visiting the ATHF house IRL than I would the Simpsons house, even though the Simpsons house has much more to explore. But maybe that’s just me. 

After some light googling, I found out that this episode almost didn’t air on television; Mike Lazzo was so unhappy with it that it was in danger of becoming a DVD extra or a direct-to-YouTube curiosity. I’m not sure I ever knew that, and vaguely suspect that those claims are over-stated. What I did know was that the episode was actually written to be a series finale. I don’t think they were canceled, per se, but Matt and Dave seemed to be under the impression that they weren’t going to get picked up for more seasons.

I also found out that this episode isn’t very well-regarded among fans? This legitimately threw me, because I’ve always liked this one and thought fairly highly of it. I get it, I guess. It’s different, and it’s light on actual jokes. But you know I respect a St.-Elsewhere-style rug pull. It was a little undone by the fact that the show kept going. But what’re you gonna do? Stop watching cartoons?

MAIL BAG:

which of the original adult swim shows would you show to a date, if you were the dating type

Of course that depends on the date. I have an aversion to the act of sitting a potential partner down to make them watch something to make sure they also like it. BUT: I am also shallow enough to not want to be with somebody if they didn't like certain things. I guess I'd show her Minoriteam so I could find out how racist I'm allowed to be around her.

i dont get the teen vogue joke in your last article, but you seem pretty proud about it so I wonder what's the deal

It feels so long ago, so it's possible I might've even fucked up the reference-to-the-reference. But for a while there Teen Vogue got all popular for being leftist online, I think? I sorta forget exactly the nature of it, but there were lots of tweets like "TEEN VOGUE IS GOOD, ACTUALLY". But then I think they were anti-union or something and it all came crashing down.

Hello, im writing you an ASK ME ANYTHING message to let you know not to upload anything on Tuesday, for it is Tasty Tuesday and you should respect that. Happy February!

You will be pleased to see I heeded your words. Happy Februany.

If you're going to have nothing but Squidbillies for a while, does that mean you might update the 2022 blog in between to dull the monotony?

An interesting proposition but I simply do not know.

I’m enjoying your reviews of aqua teen. I don’t know when YouTube transitioned into a formula of “talk about x thing you like in depth for 7 hours” but your posts scratch that same itch I have. I like the show, dammit! I want to read some guy’s opinions of it, over and over again!

Hey! Thank you. That's nice! I am glad a handful of people read this blog and sorta like it! Plus: I love to speak my mind!!!!!

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #aqua teen hunger force