pearl-blue-musings

[pearl-blue-musings]

Seeing the increasing notes on this (even if it IS just likes) makes me really happy to know that there are those who feel connected to this or maybe found some sort of solace or healing within this

Am I okay?

Pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi x fem!afab!reader

Word Count: ~1.7K

Author’s note: this is heavily and I mean HEAVILY selfship coded as it’s yet again another personal fic. If you’re not new to my page, I’ve been very open about my physical trauma and this fic is no exception. There’s some smut at the beginning and some angst but with comfort. It’s what I would love to have happen someday if the situation were to arise. The words in red are what my assualter actually said to me and it’s still hard for me to hear to this day. I hope if there’s anyone who happens to have been in a similar situation like me that this finds them some sort of solace and comfort (aged up of course)

“Fuck kitten, you feel so good.”

Hitoshi’s voice is hot and heavy in your ear as he thrusts into you. The sound of his grunts mix with your sweet moans and whimpers, his lips latching onto your neck to stifle his own noises. His hips buck up into you fiercely, his grip on the headboard and pillow underneath you giving him leverage. Your ankles are locked on the back of his waist as your nails dig into his muscled skin. He feels so good above you and inside you, your cunt twitching and tightening around him.

You can already feel that coil inside you wanting to be released as it tightens and tightens. Your voice gets higher and higher the more he kisses and fucks your pussy. The muscles in your legs start to ache from wrapping around him and trying to hold back your own pleasure. Your toes curl as his cock hits that spot that has you seeing stars. “Oh fuck, baby,” you whimper out, back arching off the bed. You hear him snicker as he keeps his pace. For a moment, Hitoshi adjusts your position, placing your ankles on his shoulders and his hands on your hips. He’s hitting you so deep and it feels so so good. It’s addicting and you want more, you want to become undone for him. You love Hitoshi so much and he you, sharing this moment of passion that has been long awaited between the two of you. A warm and rough hand cups your face, capturing your attention so you’re under his lust filled gaze. You kiss his palm and to him you’ve never looked prettier. Under the moonlight, covered in sweat, eyes glazed over in pleasure, Hitoshi knows he’s a special man in order to see you in this way. His other hand moves to your clit and starts to rub at the swollen nub. A pleasure filled shriek leaves your lips and you drop your head back.

“Mmm fuck, I’m so close kitten. Are you close? I know you are, baby girl.”

His voice is like lavender infused honey, it’s smooth, sweet, and downright sexy. You nod vigorously and breathe out. “I wanna, fuck, I wanna cum.”

He leans closer, your tits and tummy bouncing in front of him. Your thighs are now pressed against your chest, keeping you in place. He can feel you leaking already all over his cock. The idea of you being pregnant makes his dick twitch even more. He huskily breathes, “yes, darling. Do it, cum for me.

“Let go for me, it’s okay.”

Let go for me, it’s okay.

“Pineapple! P-pineapple, pineapple!”

Your moans of pleasure quickly shift to cries and tears of sadness. Hitoshi perks up his eyebrows and whispers, “shit, shit okay.” His grip loosens on your body as he slowly pulls out of you. Although he was very close, he gently places your legs down and gets up and heads toward the bathroom. You hear him finish with a muffled groan, run the sink to wash his hands and a bath for you. He grabs a towel for you and comes back. You’re now, despite not being cleaned yet, wrapped up in the covers panting and attempting to stop yourself from crying. The bed dips under his weight but he doesn’t touch you just yet. You finally let go of the sheets and reach out your hand to him. A sigh of relief escapes his lips and he quickly pulls you into a hug. You cry harder into his embrace as you grip him securely. He begins to wipe the sweat and fluids off your legs and back, looking into your eyes for permission to wipe in between your legs.

You slowly open your legs for him, holding onto his arm as his free one cleans you. Your abs contract and ache from going from almost climaxing to crying. Hitoshi coos at you to breathe slowly and try to calm down your body. With a tremble in your lips you nod and blink away some tears.

With a low and soft voice he asks, “baby, what happened? I’m happy you used the safe word but what led there? Did I do something you didn’t like?” He places the towel to the side and brings you into his arms again, rocking you back and forth slowly. He kisses your cheek over and over as he waits for you to respond.

Sniffling, you shake your head. “No,” you say wobbly, “you were doing everything right.” You take a second to breathe and lay your head against his chest. “I, I’m sorry you didn’t get to finish how, how you wanted. I didn’t mean-”

“No,” Hitoshi shushes you with soft shushing sounds. His lithe fingers wipe away your fresh tears. “As much as I wanted to finish inside you, this isn’t about me right now. You used the safe word and when I heard that I stopped. It doesn’t matter what was gonna happen after that.” His voice is reassuring and comforting as you feel your heart rate finally slow. “Breathe with me, kitten. In, two, three, four, five. And out, two, three, four, five.” You follow and copy his movements, never once breaking eye contact. Once you both have similar heartbeats, you lower your head and move to the other side of the bed. With what you’re about to say, you’re unsure if you can face him right now.

Hitoshi reaches out and grazes the skin of your back. “Kitten…”

“I need,” you breathe out. “I need to tell you what happened. You remember how I told you how I was… back in undergrad.” Hitoshi finds himself nodding, moving a little bit closer to you so you can hear his quiet yes. “I was,” you sniffle, “I was so out of it. He, he drugged me and we were at my place…he drove my car. And when you told me to “let go, it’s okay” it reminded me of when he said it to me and I thought,” your voice breaks as you huff. “I thought I was okay but I can still hear him in my head. He’s still there, touching me, violating me, and and…” Your voice trails off with a stutter as you break down and cry once more. Behind you, Hitoshi tries to contain the rage he feels inside for you while also feeling guilt for saying something so triggering. He pulls you into his chest, rubbing at your arms for reassurance and comfort.

Hitoshi lets you cry, kissing your cheek softly. You buckle completely under his embrace, legs falling limp as you lay your weight against him. He gets up from the bed, momentarily leaving your side as he then picks you up, one arm under your legs and the other around your back. He walks you out of the bedroom and toward the living room, where he sets the two of you on the oversized beanbag chair. The two of you fall easily onto the furniture and lay your head on his shoulder. In your head, you’re secretly happy you bugged your love to buy this very very large beanbag chair. You didn’t think it would be used like this but you’re not upset about it.

Using their bluetooth speaker, Hitoshi quietly asks the technology to play some soothing instrumental music to help soothe and not disturb their neighbors. He finally feels you calm down completely and he begins to hum lightly. His voice lulls you to sleep and eventually sleep finds him too.

The next morning, you’re alone on the beanbag chair and the smell of your favorite breakfast wafts in the air. You yawn and stretch widely, realizing a new bundle of warmth had joined you. On your lap is your two year old cat, waking you up more by purring and making biscuits on your covered legs. Amidst the sizzling sounds of his cooking, he hears your shuffling and brings you a mug of warm tea and a kiss on top of your head. “Good morning,” he rasps. “I see our bundle of joy has decided to wake you up.” You nod tiredly with a stretch as you grab the mug on the end table. You take a sip and immediately feel your muscles relax. The honey is stirred in to perfection and the taste is exactly what you need. You get up slowly and head toward the kitchen. You go toward the cabinet holding your medicine, place the mug down in order to get your pills. Once you’ve taken them, you drink more of your tea and just watch your boyfriend cook the two of you breakfast. He’s confidently shirtless with his pajama bottoms hanging low on his waist. You smile gently, setting the tea at your spot on the dinner table and wrap your arms around him. He jumps slightly, then rests his hand on top of your interlocked ones. “It’s almost ready. Did you miss me already?”

You nod into his back before giving the bare skin a peck. After a few minutes, the sound of the sizzling dies down and he lowers the setting on the stove. He turns around to wrap his arms around your mid back, running his fingers up and down your back. He sighs loudly, a sign you know that he wants to say something. You rest your chin on his chest and give him a nod of encouragement. His eyes shine with love as he pulls you closer into him. Hitoshi coughs. “As you slept, I found myself unable to. I stayed with you as long as I could, making sure you were asleep soundly.” He pauses for a moment to kiss the top of your head, his voice getting caught in his throat. “I looked up support groups for victims of ra- umm, sexual assault. Kitten, listen I think you should join one. They’ll help you better than I can and,” his voice trails off as a couple tears fall down his lashes. Your hands squeeze him tightly as you feel his stomach and chest heave from his withheld cries. In this moment, he wants to protect you, be there for you in every way possible. You don’t need him to finish his sentence, knowing that he spent time wanting to help you is all you need.

#shinsou x reader #shinsou x fem!reader #heed the warnings #thank y’all #this piece was really personal and healing for me

[pearl-blue-musings]

I’ve had Aventurine x assistant!reader stuck in my head and thinking how it would or would not affect what happens in the story

#aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine x you #honkai star rail x reader #icymi <3

[pearl-blue-musings]

speaking in tongues ::: .02.

Author’s Note: hello everyone. I apologize for such a long wait. Personal things (as some of you may know) have had to take priority like my health. I had to put a lot of projects on hold. I do hope you enjoy part two. I attempted to make it a bit longer than the others that I’ve put out to make up for it. 🥰 as usual, please refer to the masterlist for a general list of content warning for this fic, and I will post part specific below.

Content Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content, dubcon, dub/noncon touching, fingering, groping, invasion of privacy, violence, mentions of trauma/sexual abuse/physical abuse, bratty!cashmere, cat and mouse games, gaslighting, emotional manipulation… fun stuff.

part two

i’m standing here until you make me move

Snapping his fingers, a golden portal appeared behind Adam before he stepped through it still carrying Cashmere. She took her fists, pounding his back, demanding still to be put down. Adam only seemed to offer a mocking reply by raising his voice an octave and mimicking her comments. This only seemed to enrage Cashmere more as she began kicking her legs and intensifying her hits to his back.

“Fucking hell!” he snapped at her.

“Satan in Hell,” she snapped. “Put me DOWN!”

Adam tossed her onto the couch. He pulled off his mask, throwing it to the floor before walking away from her. “Don’t fucking say I didn’t do anything for you,” he complained, loudly as he walked into the other room.

Cashmere sighed, moving her fingers through her hair. She looked around… Where was she? It looked like a fairly average apartment that any living person would have, but not one in Hell. A loud slurp disrupted her thoughts as she turned to look at Adam, standing in the entryway with a drink in hand… drinking loudly.

“Where are we?”

Adam pulled the straw from his lips before leaning against the wall. “My place.”

“In Heaven?”

“Fuck no,” Adam scoffed. “I wouldn’t bring demonic scum like you to that paradise.”

Rolling her eyes, Cashmere pushed up from the couch to sit up. “You have an apartment in Hell?”

“Embassy,” he corrected. “It’s my temporary place.”

“So why here?”

Sighing, he set the drink in his hand down on the table in front of the couch. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you enjoy getting assaulted?”

Her eyes narrowed.

“What?” he snapped, annoyance crossing his expression. “You sure seemed to like trying to fight a man three times your size who was trying to grope on you.”

“Satan help me,” she groaned. “How long were you there? You saw all that?!”

“I told you,” he replied as his voice went flat. “Long enough.”

She closed her eyes for a moment before letting out a sigh of frustration. She stood up from the couch and decided that she would just leave before she was caught in another argument with this man…angel? Whatever. She tried to move past him before his arm shot out and stopped her from passing him.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“Fuck you,” she said, shoving his arm down.

“You got a filthy, fucking mouth on you,” he sneered.

“Fuck. You.”

She managed to push past him but didn’t make it far before Adam snatched her by her hair and tugged her back. She yelped as tears burned at the corner of her eyes.

“Do I have your attention now?”

He was uncomfortably close to her now as his breath brushed against her ear. She tried moving away but he only tugged harder causing her scalp to burn.

“Are you going to be a good girl and listen?”

Her face fell. “…yes.”

He tugged on her hair again, causing her to wince. “I don’t believe you,” he hissed into her ear. His free hand slipped to grasp her waistline before forcefully guiding her toward the wall of his apartment. The grip tightened as he pressed his chest against her back, forcing her chest to push against the wall. Cashmere turned her head to the side, catching a glimpse of Adam smirking from behind her. “I’ll ask again,” he whispered. “Are you going to be a good girl and listen?”

She wasn’t sure what he was asking as a response. Her eyes darted away toward the white wall. Anything to avoid his gaze at this point. Anxiety began filling her chest, wondering just what she could do in this instance, against an Angel? Nothing. He could kill her easily if he truly wanted to… and permanently. It was a well-known fact that Angelic steel could permanently rid Hell of any sinner.

Adam’s other hand finally let go of her hair, but it joined his other hand gripping her waist. He used his size alone to pin her against the wall now. She was stuck. Squirming, she attempted to slither her way out from him and the wall, but it only seemed to cause him to tighten his grip.

“I want to hear you say it.”

She scoffed. “Say what?”

“That you’re going to be a good girl and listen.”

Cashmere cursed under her breath before scowling at Adam. “I’m not indulging in your sick fantasy.”

“You wouldn’t be able to handle me,” he teased. “So don’t flatter yourself.”

Offense flashed over her eyes almost as if she took what he said as a challenge. Couldn’t handle him? Was he joking? She glanced at him over her shoulder, shooting a deadly glare at the sick smirk he wore on his face. His golden eyes were still fixed on her as he moved impossibly close.

“Say it.”

“...no.”

Chuckling, Adam’s hands moved further down before squeezing her hips. “All you women are the same,” he commented. “Fucking little, bratty teases.”

“I-” she paused. “I’m not teasing.”

Remaining silent, Adam’s hands slipped past the edge of her skirt before toying with the fabric. Her breath quickened as his fingertips brushed against her bare thighs. Goosebumps spread across her skin before Adam chuckled. His fingertips moved up her thigh, slipping under her skirt.

“L-let go,” she hissed, trying to squirm away.

“No.”

She didn’t understand what his end goal was. He couldn’t possibly want such a filthy sinner. Not after all the insults he seemed to hurl her way. His hands brushed against her panties as they slipped under the elastic. Excitement blossomed in her chest and she hated her body for practically begging to be touched.

His hands slipped her underwear about midway down her legs. “Tell me you want it,” he whispered as his left moved between her legs and brushed his knee against her bare core.

A strangled gasp moved past her lips. Her mind went fuzzy. “But,” she whispered. “I’m a sinner.”

“I’m already in Heaven,” Adam snorted. “I can fuck whatever pussy I want.”

Satan’s left tit, he was going to go through with this… Cashmere felt another jolt of excitement shudder throughout her body, cursing herself for almost enjoying this… almost.

“Let's see,” he whispered, his lips against her ear. “What gets you going…”

One hand slipped between her legs as the other moved up to grope her breast. He pinched her clit between his fingers causing her to gasp again. He slowly slipped two fingers against her dripping core, making sure both fingers were coated in her juices.

She squirmed at his touch as soft pants left her lips. Her voice stuttered, “A-Adam…”

He hummed in response before plunging his two coated fingers into her. Her body tensed for a moment before adjusting quickly. He nipped at her ear as he curled her fingers against her, forcing her to clench. A gasp left her lips, bracing herself against the wall.

The rough pads of his fingers probably formed from years of playing guitar only gave way to delicious friction as she felt her juices slip down her legs. Her body squirmed as her legs clenched.

Adam tutted. “Nah uh,” he teased, using his knee to keep her legs apart.

His pace intensified.

“A-Adam,” she managed to say between breathy pants.

His tone mocked her voice as he increased his pace. The coil in her gut was winding tighter as she felt the palm of his hand press against her clit, causing her to moan again. Wetness pooled in his palm before his fingers were scissored inside of her.

“You wanna cum?” he whispered into her ear.

He suddenly slowed to a tormenting pace. “Adam please.”

“Use your words.”

She wanted to glare at him but her body wouldn’t allow her to move before tried to move her hips against his hand. His free hand managed to find its way back to her hair and yanked her head back. A pained yelp left her lips but she stilled her movements.

“Please,” she managed to get out in a desperate tone. “…please let me cum, Adam…

An audible groan left his lips before the pace of his fingers became unrelenting. Cries of his name tumbled from her lips as her legs began quaking. How such a Holy man’s touch could be so sinful, Cashmere could not understand.

She cried out his name one last time before pleasure electrified her skin and spread throughout her body. Her legs shook again, losing their strength so Adam had to keep her on her feet. He slowly removed his fingers before she felt her juices dripping down her legs.

He chuckled before taking his two fingers and forcing them into her mouth. “Be a good girl,” he teased. “And clean the mess you made.”

For a brief moment, Cashmere sputtered, struggling for air before quickly adjusting. Her tongue circled his fingers, tasting herself on them. A soft moan managed past her lips before he removed his fingers.

Adam pulled away, letting her stumble a bit but managed to steady herself against the wall.

Quickly, Cashmere pulled up her underwear and readjusted her skirt. Words failed her. Her eyes darted up to him before falling back to the floor. What could she say? It’s not like anyone would believe this happened. “…I should go home.”

Confusion filled his golden hues. “What the fuck? Why?”

“…this never should’ve happened.”

“Are you saying you didn’t want it now because you sure changed your mind fast—”

She closed her eyes in frustration. “You’re an Angel, Adam.”

“…so what? I can fuck whoever I want,” he said.

“I’m a demon, you idiot.”

“I’m not following,” Adam countered. “What part of I fuck whoever I want, don’t you understand?”

Cashmere stared at the Angel in front of her with her mouth agape. Was he serious?

“I-I’m going home.”

He seemed to back down before letting out a frustrated sigh. “Just fucking wait a second,” he said quickly. He took a few steps away from her before raking his fingers through his hair again. “Just stay here. Until you’ve sobered up.”

Confusion filled her face.

“You need to sober up,” he said, shooting a glare in her direction. “Some fucking freak could take advantage-”

“What the fuck do you think you just did?!”

“You didn’t fucking say no,” he snapped back. “You’re just pissed that you fucking enjoyed it.”

Her mouth shut.

He was right.

As disgusting as he was, she hated to admit that she had enjoyed that…

“…where should I stay?”

Adam sighed again before turning and motioning her to follow him. She followed him into a bedroom… it was clear it was his bedroom. Her eyes fell to the floor before Adam tossed a shirt to her. She glared at him briefly before noticing it was a band shirt.

“Wear that. Sleep here. Leave me the fuck alone,” he said before turning to head back into the living room.

Sighing, she waited for Adam to leave before shutting the door and stripping off her clothes. She slipped on the band tee that managed to cover just above her knees. Grimacing, she inspected the bedroom. It was clear he was a bachelor with how messy he was and the trash just strewn about. Sighing, she climbed into the bed and quickly shut the light off.

“Goodnight,” she mumbled mostly to herself.

The screams from the street managed to jar Cashmere awake as she sat up in bed and grimaced. Perhaps she had too much to drink and snort last night. Her head was practically spinning now. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around trying to remember where she was…

“Oh fuck.”

That’s right, Adam had snatched her up and brought her here the night before.

Her fingers pushed the stray strands of hair from her face, straining her ears for any sound, any movement from outside the bedroom. Snoring. He was still asleep. She forced herself out of the bed grabbing her shoes and her clothes. She would have to make a break for it.

Her hand came to the doorknob, slowly turning it and gently pulling the door open. Her eyes caught a glimpse of Adam still snoring from the couch before sneaking to his front door and silently slipping out of his apartment. A sigh fell from her lips, relieved she escaped without being detected.

“I’m going home.”

She pulled out her cell phone and saw a slew of texts from Cherrybomb and Angeldust. She responded to the group chat that she was fine and heading home and she would explain later.

Cashmere managed to make it to her apartment before reaching into her purse to grab her apartment key. “Home free,” she told herself, sighing with relief as she started opening the door.

“Bitch!”

Her head shot up as she noticed Angeldust rushing toward her. “…oh no.”

“Where the fuck did you go!”

“Angel - it’s fine I’m just going to go change,” she said, walking into her apartment but he managed to sneak his way past her and into the apartment as well.

He threw himself onto her bed before tilting his head at her. His eyes narrowed before the corner of his lips curled upward.

“Angel…”

“…who was it! Spill it!”

Groaning, she threw her clothes and purse to the floor. “Whatever you’re thinking it’s not true.”

Angeldust scoffed before sitting up on her bed. “That’s not your shirt, babe.”

A lump formed in her throat. Fuck.

“…it was nothing,” she hissed.

“You ran off with some fucker. Him?”

Glaring, she crossed her arms. “I fucking hate how observant you are.”

He shrugged. “A gift! Now tell me.”

“We didn’t fuck. Just screwed around a little,” she replied, shaking her head. “It should’ve never happened. It was a mistake. I was too high to go home so he let me crash. I left before he woke up.”

He looked unimpressed. “That bad?”

“Sure,” she was too frustrated to continue this conversation.

“Whatever you say~”

Rolling her eyes, Cashmere made her way into the bathroom and stripped off Adam’s band t-shirt. She inspected her reflection in the mirror before cutting on the water in the sink and splashing her face with cold water.

A nightmare.

This was just a nightmare.

Her phone began buzzing. A groan left her lips before she snatched up the phone, assuming it was either Cherrybomb calling to tease her or even worse - Valentino to demand she come into the strip club.

“Yeah?”

“Morning to you too, doll face.”

Her face paled.

“How the fuck did you get my number?!”

Adam snorted on the other line. “You’re the stupid ass that left her phone out and unlocked.”

“You went through my phone?!”

“Nice nudes in there by the way.”

How could she even begin to form a response to that? She pinched the bridge of her nose before taking a deep breath to calm her growing irritation.

“I’m not even responding-what do you want, asshole!”

“You fucking left.”

Was this serious? “Of course, I left,” she said, confused. “What were we going to do? Cuddle?”

He scoffed. “I want you to know I was being nice by letting you crash with me after you got fucking high as fuck,” he countered. “And you just leave? No fucking thank you? Nothing!”

This was serious.

Cashmere rubbed her eyes. “Being nice? That’s the bare minimum!”

“You were a fucking cock tease!”

“Tease?!”

“You were fucking putty in my hands,” he hissed. “Couldn’t even return the favor. A fucking tease.”

She couldn’t find her words. The tone of his voice was similar to the night before and sent shivers down her spine. She cursed under her breath. Was this reality?

“Where the fuck did you go?”

A sigh fell from her lips as she tried to center herself. How someone could be this dense, she had no idea… Clicking her tongue, she glanced at her bathroom door and made sure to lower her voice. She could not afford Angeldust finding out she had an Angel on the phone, and not just any Angel - Adam.

“I went home.”

“You didn’t even wake me up.”

“What the fuck were we going to do? Cuddle? Christ, Adam.”

He scoffed on the other line. “Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.”

“I can’t do this right now,” she said, rubbing her temples. “I’m taking my shower.”

“Fucking fine,” he said. “Just come to the embassy when you’re done.”

She hung up on him.

She could not handle his bullshit now.

Her phone lit up with a text that said: did you just fucking hang up on me?

Choosing to ignore it, Cashmere turned her attention toward her shower, cutting on the water and making sure the temperature was as hot as she could stand. She slipped off the rest of her clothes before letting her hair down. Stepping in the shower, she let out another breath before stepping under the hot stream of water.

She let the water slip over her head and down her body. The heat offered some relief to her tense muscles. How the fuck had she ended up in this situation? Her fingers raked through her wet hair.

Did she even want to go back to the embassy and face him?

It wasn’t as if she had a choice. He had paid off Valentino, who believed this was some prostitution setup - no questions asked. The entire situation was beginning to weigh on Cashmere as she couldn’t be honest with her two closest friends.

And now?

Now, Adam had managed to worm his way into her pants, or at the very least his fingers between her legs.

Disgust filled her gut. Was she that desperate? Did she make it that easy for him?

She recalled her life when she was alive. While she could not remember everything now that she was dead, she could recall flashes and small glimpses into why she was such a disaster.

Prostitution had kept her off the streets, but at what cost?

She had disgraced her family, despite leaving and joining the profession for the sake of their survival. She had been battered, beaten, and bruised throughout her career by not only “customers” but by police and even other prostitutes.

Over the years, it hardened her. Numbed her.

“Cashmere?”

It was Angeldust, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” She called out over the sound of the shower.

“You good?”

Pausing, her eyes fell to the drain. Was she?

“I’m fine!”

Straining her ears, she heard Angeldust retreat from the door as she slowly cut off the water. Snatching the towel from the rack, she wrapped the plush fabric around her body.

Her phone screen lit up again.

Another message… from Adam.

A sigh fell from her lips before scanning the text. “You can’t fucking ignore me forever?” She scoffed and turned off her phone in response. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do.”

Walking into the embassy, Cashmere finally decided to turn her phone back on. She awoke to several messages to log her up on her phone from the night before - and she was right. A flood of messages from Adam filled her phone, a weird mixture of gaslighting and compliments and a sprinkle of disgust was an ongoing theme in each message.

She mumbled “idiot” under her breath before she reached his office and raised a hand to knock. But the door swung open.

She halfway expected him as she opened her mouth with a quip but quickly her eyes went wide as a fellow dancer left, adjusting her clothes. Cashmere stepped to the side observing before walking inside.

He was sitting in his chair as she shut the door. With her back turned, she felt his golden eyes on her - as if trying to burn a home through her.

A game… she suspected.

“…aren’t you supposed to be keeping a low profile?”

“I told you,” he said, loudly. “I do whatever the fuck I want.”

She stepped into the office and shut the door before finally turning to look at him. He was adjusting his clothes and she could only imagine what had taken place just moments before she knocked. She studied his expression for a brief second before noting the smirking just barely ghosting over his lips.

He was playing a game.

She took a seat and kept her expression even.

“So what now?”

His golden hues narrowed at her blase response. “What now?”

Cashmere nodded. “What are we doing now?”

“Don’t you wanna know who that was?”

“Not really,” she said, shrugging. “I know enough about her from the club to know that you may want to get checked afterward-”

“Don’t be a fucking smart ass.”

Cashmere merely shrugged in response, noting the annoyance in his voice was growing. If he wanted to play this type of game with her, she would make him learn that she was ten times better at it.

“So I’ll ask again,” she continued. “What are we doing now?”

Adam slumped into his chair. His eyes scanned over his paperwork before glancing back at her. “She was boring,” he commented, offhandedly. “Talked too much.”

Her gaze cut to him. “Okay?”

“Okay?” he repeated as his brows fell into a scowl. “That’s all you have to fucking say?!”

Cashmere tilted her head to the side.

“You are so fucking infuriating!”

She glanced down at her nails, inspecting the color carefully. “Sucks when people play mind games, doesn’t it?”

His fists slammed against the table, catching her attention briefly.

“Are you seriously going to sit there and throw a tantrum when you snooped through my phone and thought bringing a coworker here would upset me? I’m not an idiot,” she said, raking her finger through his hair. “This entire trip is just an excuse for you to torment a sinner here and try to get your scrawny dick wet.”

Adam fell silent as his eyes narrowed.

Cashmere sat back in her seat. “Play stupid games,” she said. “Win stupid prizes.”

His fists tightened. His knuckles turned white.

Satisfaction was evident on her face, knowing that she had pegged him exactly for what he was trying to do. “Now if you’re done being an insufferable wannabe rockstar,” she continued, turning her attention back to inspecting her nails. “We can work on what you were sent here to do.”

Adam opened his mouth to speak.

Cashmere reached across the table and snatched one of the pieces of paper scattered about. She wanted to look over the notes that he had supposedly taken during their last meet-up, but when she looked upon the paper…

“Are you fucking joking?”

Adam scowled again at her. “What?!”

“This is fucking stick figures fucking!”

He looked away from her.

“You didn’t even take notes?!”

Adam scoffed. “I have a brilliant memory. I don’t need notes. All I have to say is bitches like you deserve to be sinners-”

“Aren’t you supposed to understand why!?”

“Does it even matter?”

Cashmere balled her fists. “You know what,” she said, huffing. “It doesn’t to me. But won’t it get you into trouble up there?”

“I’m the original dick,” he snapped. “I’ll never get into trouble.”

She didn’t respond. She didn’t have to as her expression slipped into a judgemental stare.

“I don’t have to fucking answer to the likes of you,” he scowled. “Don’t you fucking judge me!”

“Men are always so sensitive,” she added, sighing.

His golden hues narrowed once again.

“What?” she questioned, leaning back in her chair. When she received no response, she let out a frustrated sigh. “If you’re an example of the angels in Heaven… I would rather be thrown into Hellfire. I’ve dealt with enough misogynist, pig men while I was alive to serve me an entire lifetime of suffering.”

She hadn’t noticed Adam standing up from his desk and slowly making his way toward her. As she continued to rant about pig men, Adam stood behind her chair before quickly grabbing her by the back of the throat, lifting her from her chair, and slamming her onto the desk.

A yelp of pain erupted from the sinner as she felt the weight of his body press against her much smaller frame. She squirmed, trying to break him of his grip but the sheer size he had on her alone - he would overpower her.

“Let me go you fuckface-”

His hand left her neck and slid into her hair before gripping her locks tightly. “You’ve been acting like a fucking spoiled brat all day,” he hissed, leaning into her ear. “Tell me you don’t want this… and I’ll disappear.”

Fuck him. Fuck him.

The tone of his voice sent shivers all the way down her spine before causing her thighs to clench together. Her mind drifted back to that moment of weakness in his apartment.

“Fuck you!”

His mocking laughter filled her ears.

“I’m not hearing no.”

“Let me go or I’ll scream!”

“I’d prefer if you did.”

Cashmere glared at him in response.

“Now be a good kitty cat and listen…”

She scowled under her breath. Was he mocking her demonic, lioness form now?

“I’m not a cat-ow!”

He had tugged on her tail earning a yelp. “Lion… tiger… aren’t they all just oversized house cats?” His gloved fingers slid down the length of her tail. “But it seems I’ve found a way to make you listen.” His fingers grasped her tail again and immediately he sensed Cashmere’s body tense.

“Now,” he said gently. “You’re going to show me exactly why you were sent to Hell in the first place.”

“Let go-” she gasped mid sentence as he tugged on her tail.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like this,” he scoffed before he let go of her tail and the free hand slipped up her skirt.

Cashmere was quiet for a moment before quickly elbowing him in the gut, sending him into a string of curses. Wincing at him tugging her hair before letting her go, she quickly moved back to her feet.

A mixture and crimson and black glazed over her eyes as her fangs grew longer. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”

A hand raked through his shaggy, dark hair before his lips curled into a sneer. His tongue ran along his lower lip. He took a step toward her.

Cashmere hissed at him.

He opened his mouth to respond but Cashmere took her clawed hand and swiped at his face before Adam lunged forward, snatching her wrist. Quickly, she swiped with her opposite hand but Adam stopped her again. Cashmere tugged, trying to break his grip but instead Adam used his size to pin her against the desk again.

His lips curled into a sneer. “Nice try, kitty cat.”

“Fuck you!”

He leaned in closer. “Gladly.”

#heed the warnings #but AAAHHHH #I’ve been WAITING FOR THIS UPDATE!! #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #ITS SO GOOD

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Okay so here we go. Warning HSR 2.1 spoilers ahead! Fem!afab!reader cause it’s based off of me and that’s how I identify

You weren’t sure why Topaz told you to assist Aventurine to Penacony, but a job is a job!

When you met with him in the hotel lobby, he barely acknowledged you, walking past you and dropping off his key in your hands

“Make sure my room is set up,” he breezed by you, “I have a meeting with a dear friend.”

You snarl at him as you approach the front desk with his and your bags. You’re able to get some help up to your assigned rooms and slump on t your bed as soon as you’ve set up your ‘boss’

It’s not long until Aventurine is buzzing your phone about a room switch with a Nameless that has you screaming into a pillow

You’re not sure what it is about Stelle, you learned her name from Aventurine being so interested in her, but you like her but also envy her for reasons unknown to you (at the moment)

You’ve followed Aventurine around Penacony, trying to get his bag and Cornerstone back but to no avail, where you finally meet Dr. Ratio, part of the reason Aventurine has been so elusive around you

Anytime you’ve tried to get close, he says he has to go to some meeting or a dinner or a negotiation or gambling or literally anything! Why doesn’t he want to be around you??

Apparently Dr Ratio was supposed to have a chat with your boss but he’s meeting with you instead

You’re learning a lot about what Aventurine is looking for, not like he told you; also since when is everyone associated with your boss so attractive? You ended up getting lost in conversation with Veritas about the Intelligistea Guild and what his studies and research are; truly truly fascinating and invigorating!!

So why did Aventurine look pissed when he found the two of you? When he found you two, his hand on your shoulder is oddly tight but his words are sickeningly sweet honey as he converses with Dr. Ratio about meeting with someone named Sunday and death? In dreams? Now Veritas’ words make sense

Aventurine assigns you to read over some documents in his room while he does some of his own “investigating” on his own. It’s like he’s putting you on timeout

You’re supposed to be helping him and being around him as often as you can; how are you supposed to do that if he keeps pushing you away?

You read over the files, letters, research studies, and whatever else he and the doctor give you. You fall asleep and are out for hours when you’re abruptly awoken by the emergency alarm on your phone. It’s Aventurine

Your eyes widen when he says he saw singer Robin murdered in the dream world and that another was also murdered. You scramble to gather your things and meet him at the holstery

You catch him in the middle of a conversation with the doctor and you see that despite how confident he seems there’s a spark of fear

The doctor catches your eye and shifts his focus between the two of you. The IPC elite isn’t an open book but he’s become more readable with you around. In order for things to work, he’s gonna have to manipulate that

You run to him frantically “are you alright? A dead body! Here? How? We’re in a dream!” The whole time you’re touching his face and checking his pulse. You know he’s lucky but someone’s luck has to run out eventually

(You miss the way his heartbeat accelerates and his ears redden at your touch and care, but Dr. Ratio doesn’t)

He calms you down and tells you of what he intends to do, which is that the three of you are heading to the Oak Family home

Wait three of you? Is he finally including you in this journey?

As you make your way there, he stays relatively tight lipped about his true intentions despite the doctor trying his best to pull them out

Why is this house full of riddles and puzzles? Just what the heck is this Sunday person trying to do??

One of the puzzles ends up separating you from Aventurine. You start to panic but Veritas calms you down with an apologetic look on his face. “I’m terribly sorry to do this,” he laments, “you shouldn’t have come here with him”

And suddenly you’re taken to what looks like an office

The door shuts behind you and an eerily calm voice urges you to turn around. You do so slowly and realize you’re in the office of Sunday, head of the Oak family

He seems hostile toward you yet you’re unsure why. He walks slowly toward you, his hands behind his back. “My intel was correct, you are his assistant.”

“Whatever quarrel you have with my boss, I’m sure he didn’t mean it and we can come to an agreement,” your voice starts out strong then wavers the closer he gets to you, eyeing you like a piece of meat. “I-I can assure you that…actually I have no idea why I’m here.”

Sunday chuckles and makes forced eye contact with you. “You’re my bargaining chip against the infamous gambler and current thorn in my side. Right now, he’s finishing the last of my puzzles outside this door and you’re going to help me get answers from him.” He looks you up and down and smirks. “It’s a pity you work with someone like him,” he reaches out and caresses your cheek, “you’re an awfully beautiful woman. Too good for him.”

You feel your cheeks warm up as you turn your head away from him. “What do you want?”

“Your mind,” Sunday responds and immediately puts you under his grasp. Your head hurts and you cry out in pain, like someone is stabbing tiny needles into your brain. “What are you doing?!”

“Silence.”

You say nothing as it seems the fighting outside has subsided. A few strained tears fall down your cheeks as the doors open, revealing Aventurine and Dr. Ratio. You try to smile but the pain is too sharp and your were somehow forced into silence

Aventurine’s eyes widen for a millisecond before going back to normal. He struggles briefly to get his heartbeat under control as his anger starts to rise; this wasn’t part of the plan. You getting hurt wasn’t part of the plan

The conversation alludes you as the men converse intensely, but the pain in your head rages on. You get a little excited seeing Aventurines things safe and sound, but grimace at Dr. Ratio betraying the two of you

Suddenly the pain subsides and you breathe heavily. Aventurine is by your side, wrapping an arm around you, whispering in your ear “are you alright, darling?” You’re about to respond until the same pain you felt is what Aventurine feels

You’re shocked by the questions and answers and the Cornerstone revelation. You’d always heard of them but never seen them in person. You also know damn well that isn’t truly his stone

Wait 17 hours until he dies?! To solve unsolvable murders?! “That’s insane! There’s no way-“

Aventurine shushes you with a calm look before he accepts, but something is off with him

As you leave the home, he shows minor weakness by relying on you on the trek to golden hour. You’re unsure of what’s going to happen, but Aventurine knows what must be done

And wants you nowhere near the action

He’s now regretting ever telling Topaz of his harbored feelings for you otherwise you wouldn’t be in this mess

His head is all a mess as the pain increases and his vision becomes hazy, but it’s now or never

“You’re going to stay by Dr. Ratio’s side while I investigate the murders, you would hold me back. It’s a solo mission from here on out.”

You shake your head as your realize what he’s implying, tears coming to your eyes. “What are you? No, no! I’m your assigned assistant! I’m supposed to help you! I have to be-“

He kisses you then, cupping your face gently and silencing any outbursts you may have. (The doctor rolls his eyes and looks away, but is touched by the sentiment)

With your foreheads connected, he whispers softly to you “Maybe Topaz had you as my assistant to get me to open up about my feelings for you. She knew the stakes of this mission and that I would never say anything. I got lucky again with things working out in my favor.” He kisses your lips again as you continue to cry, he probably figured out your feelings as well.

“Please,” you beg, “don’t go.” Your hands are pressed over his. His hands drop and he hugs you tightly, dropping a coin into your hand and whispering in your ear

“Kakavasha,”

You look at him quizzically before he closes your hand and speaks to Dr. Ratio. “Take care of her for me, will you? You at least owe me that.”

The scholar pulls you away as Aventurine goes on his solo mission, putting his arm around you to pull you away as he’s already given Aventurine his help

You beg and beg Ratio to tell you what Aventurine plans to do for what feels like hours until you hear his voice over the loudspeaker for all of Penacony to hear.

With his back turned, you escape his watch and head toward Clockie Studios theme park. You have to be there for him, you need to help him, he can’t die on you not when he finally knows how you feel and vice versa

You’re almost too late, seeing as that person Acheron he’d mention is about to deliver the final blow. You reach out and run toward them as their bodies seem to disappear

“Kakavasha!!”

I’ve had Aventurine x assistant!reader stuck in my head and thinking how it would or would not affect what happens in the story

#this got long and sad #aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine x you #aventurine x y/n #aventurine x fem!reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #my writing #i did the thing #aventurine 🪙

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I just might bitch

I’ve had Aventurine x assistant!reader stuck in my head and thinking how it would or would not affect what happens in the story

#affectionate

[pearl-blue-musings]

Why am I so bad at being a good friend and person on this site??? And discord too I’m like never on there 😩😩😩 idk how y’all do it

#elle stop talking #message in a bottle #I feel like maintaining friendships/relationships shouldn’t be this hard #and yet 🙃

[pearl-blue-musings]

Don’t mind me, I’m just objectifying old men again.

[pearl-blue-musings]

I’ve had Aventurine x assistant!reader stuck in my head and thinking how it would or would not affect what happens in the story

#elle stop talking #message in a bottle #aventurine 🪙 #I just love him so so much

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im trying.png

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feeling called out today

credit: _ADWills

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reblog or the gods of glo up will not bless you

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@thecomposedsimp

pov onigiri miya sponsors a beach volleyball tournament

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*please include thoughtful tags if possible

#it’s for sure self soothing #but also a combination of a lot of these! #I sometimes don’t selfship until I learn more about the character and it blossoms from there #but it’s also exciting to see how a personal relationship would affect canon #or potentially change it!! #and some of it is self discovery too #cause it’s helped me figure out what I look for in an irl partner #also it’s just so so fucking fun #idk which one to vote for because honestly they’re all so true #doesn’t help I have like a fuck ton of selfships but it does help me understand the character and myself better #and how things would be in that universe #it helps with my writing as well #whoops this got long lol

[pearl-blue-musings]

cw: kids, reader has birth control implant

"Do you have something to tell me?"

Bakugo still has half of his hero uniform on, smudges of grime and soot across his face and neck. There's a clear, white demarcation where his shirt was and a trail of dirt behind his boots.

"I just fucking vaccuumed."

"I'll do it later." He quickly dismisses, even as he begins to kick off his shoes. "Why are there condoms on the grocery list?"

You shrug and go back to parusing on your phone. "We'll need them."

"For fucking what?"

You shoot his a glance, one eyebrow lifted. "For sex, dumbass."

"Dumbass." He repeats back, tone high and mocking. "We've never used a single condom our whole relationship-- you let me cream you the first fucking date."

You wrinkle your nose, even though he's right. There hasn't been a day since that first date that you haven't felt the delightfully uncomfortable wetness of cum sliding around inside you.

"Don't say it like that- you're gross." You raise your arm and gesture to the little scar there. "My birth control has to come out- its at the end of its life."

He rolls his eyes with a grunt, arms crossed tight over his torso. "That's it?"

"You were the one who said a kid 'maybe next year,' so we'll need condoms until then."

Bakugo plops down on the couch next to you, throwing your calves over his thighs. "We'll just move up the timeline. Start making one now, baby for the summer. No condoms."

"No."

"No?"

"No. I don't want to be pregnant in the summer. It's too hot to be carrying another human-- and I want to drink on the beach."

Bakugo looks at you with a grimace, lip curled up to show gum. "Are you fucking serious?"

"We can start trying in, I dunno." You count on your fingers, trying to do the math. "End of August."

"August?!" he gapes. "Motherfucker. I gotta call Kirishima."

"About condoms?"

"I gotta ask him about saving his brats onesies." He leans back on to the couch, brow knitted tight. "There's no way I'm not knocking you up by accident before August."

You shoot him a glare.

He meets your eye. "Keep giving me attitude and you'll have a bun in the oven by next month."

[pearl-blue-musings]

Antisocial Gremlin Kenma with his statement socks.....

[pearl-blue-musings]

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍

—cw: this is just hella angst and a lil fluffy, character death, jjk au but altered a bit, megumi is reader's son and toji and reader are couples so don't get this twisted because of the tags.

—a/n: please cry. or do inhave to cut onions??? no but fr i was sobbing hard while writing this because yaknow how much i love my man :(( please give feedbacks tho i love reading them.

your eyes were resting close. there was sense of guilt, panic and fear gnawing megumi as he sat on the stool next to your hospital bed. there were a million reasons he could've prevented this. a million. but what is supposed to happen, happens. if he rushed home quicker, you, his mother wouldn't be lying on the hospital bed right now. if only he would've been aside you, keeping you company instead of on a mission, he would've saved you from those corrupt sorcerers. but it happened. and now he was scared, praying every god to turn back time or save you somehow even when the doctor's had announced you wouldn't make it.

you fluttered your eyes open, and slowly adjusted your head to meet your son who was resting his face in his hands, probably sobbing.

"me-gumi..."

"MOM?" his voice was drenched in panic and fear but he eased it out, making sure not to startle you. "you're fine. you're completely alright. just rest and go to sleep okay?"

"since when do you lie to your mom?" he was stunned you caught his lie "i know...i know my body better than anyone else," you stated. his lips quivered in guilt. poor boy. why does he blame himself for everything?

"gumi?" he couldn't form words so he just replied with a hum. "it's not your fault. i don't blame you for anything."

"but—"

"you're the best son i could ever ask for. i know i didn't give birth to you, but not once i ever felt like you weren't my son...not on—not once did i ever feel like you weren't a part of my heart...", a tear rolled of his eye. "so don't blame yourself or you'll be insulting my heart."

"you are the best mother ever." you chuckled lightly because you remembered once he brought an essay home with the same topic. "my mom is the best mom in the world," in his crooked handwriting and drawing of you and his dad holding hands with him. oh right. dad. he knew it was his dad that he fought in shibuya when you told him when he was finally ready. he spiraled into a emotional mess to gulp everything and then your words finally cleared the blurry pictures he had in his head of his childhood.

"is there something you want me to tell your dad when i meet him?" megumi stopped breathing for a few seconds before he finally let out a sigh.

"tell papa...i am sorry." megumi and toji never really had that deep and close father-son bond. there as never a right time in their life.

"he is not mad at you megumi. we're—we're parents. we will always love our child even when they hate us. and you hated him for the right reasons." he was in the verge of sobbing. "megumi...look at me." he lifted his head to meet your eyes. "your dad loved you. he really did. and i am sure when i meet him...he will ask about you first."

"promise me you'll be my mom again in the next life?" he offered his pinky.

"i promise." you entagled your pinky with his.

"i love you mom." you smiled. you didn't say it back. you didn't need to. he knew that you loved him so much.

megumi gently took your hand resting on the hospital mattress and tucked it between his palms. he was warm. or maybe it was your blood running cold. colder and colder till you shut off your eyes, the smile disappearing as your muscles relaxed and heart gave up. megumi's eyes lost inq containing the river of tears and they finally rolled down.

*sounds of waves*

you opened your eyes to bright blue sky mirroring on the ocean, the waves emerging and lacing your feet, the sand tickling your toes. you looked around to find something else but it was all just...beach. till your eyes fell on someone they've been starving to see for years. your husband. the love of your life was right in front of you.

toji smiled and you exhaled in relief, but the exhale bought the years of pent up pain appear on your face, making tears fall constantly.

"i waited for so long, baby." god, his voice. you missed it so much.

you ran. you ran till you were in the arms of your lover, and toji embraced you like he would never let go. "i am here." you cried and he did too. his lips pressed against yours so tightly. he stopped to look at you and ponder at your beautiful face. a face everyday that he tried not to forget. he never could but now you were here finally.

"how's megumi?"

"that idiot. always blaming himself. did you mention how shitty i was?"

"he said "tell papa i am sorry, ha."

toji laughed.

"i did. but he still loves you." you both thought it was funny. "he's your son after all. doesn't show it, but he's stubborn like you inside."

"i am not stubborn."

"yes you are. you got yourself killed even when i told you not to. you left me alone to survive in a world without you even when i told you don't. do you know how hard it was everyday to live without you, toji?" your words getting a little unclear towards the end as you sobbed and yelled.

toji hugged you once again. "i am sorry."

"you should be!"

"i know." he kissed your forehead. "why don't you tell me what happened all these years while we take a walk on a beach?" your puppy eyes peered up at him. "we have forever now."

#jjk x reader #toji x reader #toji angst #some good angst to wake up the emotions in the morning #so so so so good!!

[pearl-blue-musings]

Fullmetal Alchemist 20th anniversary Exhibition key visual illustrated by Hiromu Arakawa