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avastrasposts · 6 months

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A Baker's Dozen - Five

Twelve Pedro boys, twelve stand alone short stories, all set in the same bakery.

Hello!

A surprise early drop of part five! I didn't want this gentleman to be lost among the Christmas cheer on Sunday night so please enjoy him a couple of days early.

This man was the one that most intimidated me to write, and I think that's true for most of us. Luckily my dear friend @morallyinept is an expert on the subject of this particular Pedro boy, and beta read it. Thank you so much Jett, your encouragement makes this a lot less scary!

Please say hello to Pedro boy number five...

Series Master List

It’s not the first time you’ve seen him in your bakery. Sometimes, when you have your extra staffer in over the weekend to handle the crowds, you’ve seen him waiting in line. Somehow he always comes in when you’re not at the counter, or dealing with another customer, but when you glance out through the open kitchen door, you spot him. More than once. And he’s always watching you, dark brown eyes, curious, intelligent, carefully watching. It intrigues you, and it scares you.

He’s easy to recognise, the bright blonde patch of hair over his forehead makes him memorable, if nothing else. But the way he stands, the weight of his body on one leg, leaning forward onto it while he tilts his head and observes you through the open door with a wry smirk. It makes you think of a trickster, a smooth talker who will smile and charm you with his words while he tries to sell you real estate on the moon. Your eyes meet and he grins, holding up his hand in a nonchalant greeting. You let your eyes glide over him, ignoring his wave as if you didn’t see him, busy looking for a pan or a bowl.

He comes in the next day again, you catch him from the corner of your eye as he steps up to the counter, just as you come out of the fridge. He doesn’t see you this time you think, so you hurry out of sight and go back to measuring flour into the large mixer. Through the door you can hear him talk to the high schooler you’ve got handling the Saturday afternoon rush.

“Afternoon, may I ask after the proprietor of this fine bakery?” the man says, and his southern accent is eloquent in a way that reminds you of old films, theatrical and exaggerated, you can hear the smirk in his tone. In your mind he sweeps an old fashioned hat off his head and bows like the ringmaster at the circus. It puts your teeth on edge and you hope to escape his attention.

“She’s busy right now but I’ll see if she has time,” your highschooler says and you sigh, waving your hand no when they come into the kitchen

“I’m sorry, she’s right in the middle of something, can I take a message?”

“No bother, I’ll stop by later, I have a proposal to the lady that’s best delivered in person.”

You hear him say goodbye and then the door jingles and the hum of the afternoon rush continues as you turn on the big dough mixer, drowning out all else. You wonder what kind of proposal the man could have for you, his response was almost as if he was preparing a sale. The thought calms you and annoys you a little, dealing with insistent sales people was your least favorite activity as a business owner. There was always someone trying to sell you a new mixer or a new oven. You hope he doesn’t come back, but at least you know how to brush off a sales person if needed.

He doesn’t come back until Tuesday, when you’re alone in the bakery, just before closing. The door jingles and you look up, seeing his smile as he steps across the threshold.

��Afternoon,” he says, coming up to the counter, giving you a gallant nod in greeting, “I was hoping to catch you at a more quiet time, seeing as the end of the day draws near. I hope my interference doesn’t disrupt your day too greatly and cause you disturbance.”

His smile sits fixed on his face, as if rehearsed to look polite and genuine, to sell you something.

It’s hard to press back your customer service persona, so you give him a polite smile, internally you’re gearing up to be courteous but dismissive.

“How can I help you?” you ask, and his smile widens into a grin as he tilts his head to the side and looks at you.

“I’m in the market for a special type of treat, one which I hope you’ll indulge me in making,” he holds out his left hand to you, “I’m Ezra, and I really hope you can help me, miss…?”

You take his hand and awkwardly shake it, ignoring his question, but your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. You’d been so certain he’d try to sell you something, you hadn’t considered that he’d be the one asking you to sell him something special even though special requests weren’t a rare thing.

“If it’s doable and I know how to make it, I’m sure we can come up with something,” you reply and he nods his head.

“Oh, I’ll pay, handsomely, of course,”

“What did you have in mind?” you ask, and his smile stretches even further, making his teeth show, and you balk, a tinge of unease shooting up your spine. In the back of your mind you’re reminded of the poem; ‘Will you walk into my parlour, said a spider to a fly.’ There’s a layer of something underneath that smile that unnerves you.

“A sentimental old favorite of mine, chocolate soufflé,” he says, his eyes suddenly slipping into softness as he seems to look past you, “Light, airy, rich and velvety.”

He waves his hand as if he’s conjuring the dessert out of thin air, a dreamy look on his face that’s quickly replaced by his grin as he turns his attention back to you.

“It’s an arduous dessert to master, only the most skilled bakers can create it. Are you skilled, sugar?”

You give him a scowl, you’ve heard every pet name in the book vaguely related to baking by now and none of them sit well with you.

He catches on to your scowl and chuckles, “Not ‘sugar’ then,” he grins as you put your smallest customer service smile back on.

“I can make soufflé but I won’t be able to sell them here,” you explain, shaking your head. “They’re too delicate and need to be served and eaten straight out of the oven. But I’m sure there’s restaurants who have soufflé on the menu.”

Ezra shakes his head with a rueful look,”I’m afraid I’ve tried that route, but none of the restaurants in town have exactly what I desire on the menu, and they won’t make it as a special order. So my hope lies with you, cookie.”

He chuckles again when he sees the flash of annoyance at the pet name, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his smile suddenly looking genuine, “If you’d told me your name when I introduced myself I would gladly use that instead of causing an umbridge with my embarrassing choices of guesses.”

You ignore his comment about your name, feeling even less inclined to give it to him, and instead you begin wiping down the counter for the end of the day.

“I’m sorry none of the restaurants have it, but I’m afraid I can’t help you, I can’t make the soufflé and then wait for you to come in, it would be flat and dull and I couldn’t sell you that.”

“I’m sure you observed, because I’ve observed you in turn, several times, that I’ve been studying you,” Ezra says, his eyes narrowing as he gives you a charming smile, cocking his head to the side and leaning against the counter on his left side, watching you run the cloth over the display cases.

“You’re the most talented baker I’ve seen in all my travels, all you sell here, you make with your own gifted hands,” he waves his hand around the bakery, “And I’ve sampled many of your delectable delights, nothing rivals what you can bake, cupcake.”

His words make your cheeks heat up against your will as you glare at the pet name and he smiles back at you. .

“It won’t change the physics of the soufflé though,” you point out, “it will still fall flat if it’s out of the oven waiting for the customer.”

“Well, crumpet, I have a remedy for that, I have thought of it all. You make it for me while I wait, right here, after hours,” he says, leaning forward when he sees your doubtful face. He takes the cloth from your hand, stilling your movement as he wraps his fingers around yours, just tight enough for you not to be able to just yank them away. His eyes closer to yours now, imploring you to hear him out, and you don’t fail to note that his expression shifts into something more innocent, his brown eyes wide open, forehead pulled up as he pleads with you

“Please, truly, it may only be a soufflé to you, but it really does mean an awful lot to me, to be able to have this dessert again, to remind me of better days, happier times.”

His fingers squeeze yours gently while he talks, “I lost my arm, a while back now, in a mining accident,” he says, looking down to his right hand side where you only now notice that his jacket sleeve hangs limp, “I used to love to bake, but I can’t anymore, on account of my…condition.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you reply politely and Ezra nods again.

“It’s been a while now, I’m getting used to navigating life without it,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, “But I can’t bake, not like I used to, not something that requires two stable hands.”

He lets go of you and stands up, grabbing the empty sleeve of his jacket and lifts it up, “Imagine if this happened to you,” he says, giving the sleeve a frustrated tug as his voice gains an edge of annoyance, “Imagine if you, from one cursed day to the next, not only lost your ability to do your job, but also your ability to perform the most entertaining of tasks.”

You feel your resolve slipping, he’s turned his eyes back on yours and falls silent, for what feels like for the first time since he stepped into the shop. His hand is on the counter between you, open, like he’s waiting for you to take it and shake on your agreement, and his eyes are imploring, his eyebrows raised.

Like this he looks less like a trickster, the facade has slipped a bit, or maybe he’s pulled a new one up, you feel like you can’t be sure. You glance down at his empty sleeve and make up your mind, you’d be devastated if you couldn’t bake again.

“Ok, I’ll make your soufflé, any way you want it,” you say, taking his hand, and Ezra’s face breaks into a wide smile.

“Thank you, bon bon! Your kind gesture makes me most hopeful for the future, there are still good people in this world, prepared to help a poor, armless, man.”

“Enough with the names,” you give him a small scowl, but you can’t help but smile at the same time, his own smiling, face seems genuine, honestly happy for your service.

“Such a sweet baker lady has to have a name that matches the sweetness of her produce, jelly pie,” he chuckles, “I’ll keep trying them out until I find the one that sticks.”

“If I hear one I like I’ll let you know, just don’t hold your breath,” you reply, but you’re smiling at him now and he seems less wiley with the change of his demeanor, more straightforward, as he runs his hand through his hair and grins at you.

“So when do you want to do this? And what kind of chocolate soufflé do you want?” you ask, pulling out your notebook.

“I once went to a small restaurant in France, a tiny little village, somewhere in the mountains north of Cannes,” he says, “and the chef would cover the bottom of the ramekin with caramel, sprinkle it with sal de mer before he poured in the chocolate and then finish with a little bit more just on top.” His hand makes a sprinkling movement over the top of the imaginary soufflé ramekin. “It was inspired, divine,” Ezra smiles at you, an excited gleam in his eyes, that you recognise all too well. “I asked him for the recipe and he was benevolent enough to make a gift of it to me, a small souvenir of a joyous visit and happier times.”

Something in the way he says the last words, a slight slip in the excitement, a flash of something darker across his face, makes you open your mouth. But you close it again as his eyes brighten, the smile comes back up in place and he looks at you.

“I had to translate the recipe into English of course, and now I have it memorized, from all the times I made it myself.”

“Let me make a list then, and I’ll get the ingredients for next week, how about next Tuesday night? Does that work for you?” you ask and Ezra nods.

“Any day would suit me, shortcake,” he grins and you roll your eyes, “But if it’s not too much trouble, I would prefer an earlier day? Maybe tomorrow even? And I’ll help you make it, as long as you have the ingredients?”

You glance over at your calendar, you have nothing planned for tomorrow night and you’ll have time to get the ingredients into your usual weekly order tonight.

“It’ll be tight, but I think I can make it work, if I place the order straight away. Unless there’s something special in the recipe I should have all the ingredients already, eggs, cocoa and chocolate,” you list the items on your fingers, thinking out loud, “oh, I should get some extra cream.”

“This chef used milk instead of cream,” Ezra interjects, “he said it made for a lighter soufflé.”

“Ok, that’s fine, I’ve made them with milk in the past,” you nod, tapping your pen as you think and Ezra studies you, you can feel his eyes on you as his mouth quirks up in a small smile.

“I do enjoy seeing you entranced by baking,” he says, “your attention to detail in the kitchen has kept me captivated while watching you work.”

“I saw you, and I’ve got to say, kinda creepy to be watching people like that,” you reply and his eyebrows immediately pull together in an apologetic frown.

“My apologies, sweet cannoli, but I was truly enwrapped by your work, your skill, I didn’t mean to be unsettling.” He reaches out and puts his hand on yours again, giving it a light squeeze as he leans forward, finding your eyes and searching them to make sure you accept his apology, “I truly am very sorry.”

“It’s fine, just come in and say hello next time,” you reply, “and never call me ‘cannoli’ again.” The last thing you say with a roll of your eyes and Ezra laughs.

“I didn’t think that one would stick, didn’t have much of a ring to it.”

He gives your hand a last squeeze and lets go of it, raising his own in a wave.

“Until tomorrow then, jelly,” he says and you give him a mock scowl that makes him grin wide, “Not ‘jelly’ either then,” he chuckles, “I’ll think of some new ones for tomorrow.”

“No pet names necessary, Ezra,” you tell him, but he shakes his head.

“No, no, you won’t tell me your name, now I make up my own, I will find the perfect one before we’re done. Until tomorrow, muffin.”

“Absolutely not,” you call after him, “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ezra gives you a final grin before he exits and you see him walk off down the street.

He appears again the next day, just before closing like the last time, giving you a polite nod and waiting by the door as you serve your last customer of the day. As the woman leaves, he steps forwards and gives you what feels like a genuine smile, unlike the rehearsed one he’d greeted you with yesterday.

“My sweet cream puff, I have been looking forward to this all day, I’ve been dreaming about finally eating this chocolate soufflé again,” he says, putting his hand on your arm and giving it a light squeeze. His hair looks freshly washed and cut, as does his patchy beard, and he brings a faint smell of cologne into the bakery. With his warm smile and neater appearance, he doesn’t look at all like the unnerving man you’d observed watching you the past few days, and you feel yourself relaxing.

“Cream puff?” you laugh, “Better, but still not acceptable, Ezra.”

“I have all evening to get it right,” he grins and holds up a take out bag, “I thought we could perhaps have dinner and not sustain ourselves only on soufflé, delectable as it may be. If that’s not too forward of me?” He says the last thing with his eyebrows raised in question and you shake your head.

“Not at all, dinner would be nice, I’m getting a little bit hungry already.”

“Then may I suggest dinner first, and then I get to enjoy the evening’s entertainment; watching you make the soufflé?”

“Sounds like a plan, let me get some cutlery and glasses and we can eat out here,” you say. As you walk back into the kitchen, you can’t help but smile to yourself. This strange man is growing on you, his smooth southern drawl makes his flowery language work, and you have to admit, he scrubs up well, with his curls and his bright blonde patch.

When you return with plates and cutlery, Ezra has set the take out on one of the café tables and is struggling with the knot on the plastic bag. You see the annoyance in his face as he tugs at the tight knot, digging his nails into it to get a grip, but failing as the plastic moves under his one hand. The sight fills you with empathy and you’re suddenly very glad you agreed to make him the soufflé.

He hears your footsteps as you approach and he looks up, “It would seem the plastic bag has me beat,” he sighs, “I wanted to have it all laid out for you as you returned, after all, you’re doing all the baking later, the least I could do is lay the table. But not even that is something I can manage these days with…” He jerks his head in annoyance at the empty sleeve of his jacket and sighs.

“It’s no bother,” you say, giving him a warm smile to put him at ease, and it seems to work. He smiles back at you, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners and you notice the dimple in his cheek under the patchy beard as he takes a step to the side, letting you put down the plates and cutlery.

“It’s why I agreed to bake the soufflé for you, I’m more than happy to help.” You untie the bag and lift out the containers as Ezra lays the table, taking meticulous care to line up the plates and the cutlery on either side, finding a few napkins and arranging them too. You go behind the counter to get rid of the bag and when you come back, Ezra has pulled out your chair for you and is waiting behind it with a smile.

“I know this is purely a business transaction, but I have to confess, I’m very happy for the chance to spend an evening in the company of someone who shares my passion for baking”, he says.

“Thank you, Ezra,” you smile as you sit down and he slides the chair in, “I have to admit, I wasn’t sure what you wanted when I first noticed you looking, but this has turned out a lot nicer than just trying to tell another sales rep that I’m not interested in a new oven.”

Ezra has sat down across from you and now he chuckles, “You thought I was going to sell you a new oven?”

“A new oven, a new fridge, new baking pans,” you sigh, “you name it, the sales reps have been in here trying to convince me to throw out my working equipment and spend money I don’t have, on their new shiny product.”

“Well, I’m glad I could surprise you then,” he replies as he begins to open the take out containers, “But I have another confession, I came into your bakery because what you displayed looked incredible, but….” he trails off, glancing up at you with a small smile before he begins scoop rice onto his plate, “I stayed because the woman who runs the bakery is captivating.”

You feel your cheeks heat up as Ezra looks up at you again and he smiles as he sees your reaction.

“And I don’t just mean that you’re beautiful, although that is certainly no exaggeration. But your talent…your talent….” he chuckles as you give him a bashful grin, “Sweet twinkie, you kept me captivated with your skill as I watched you through the kitchen door. You have such passion for this,” he waves his hand towards the bakery’s display cases, “so much creative talent and skill, I just…” he gives a small laugh, his hand rubbing his cheek as he drops his eyes down to his plate again, his usual confident manner suddenly replaced by an uncharacteristic shyness, “I wanted a chance to talk to you, if you’d let me.”

“You’re very sweet, Ezra,” you smile, trying to contain the wide smile that’s threatening to take over your face at his praise.

“It’s only what you deserve,” he says, smiling back at you and handing you one of the take out boxes, “Please, before it gets cold, I’m letting my mouth run away from me as usual.”

It turns out Ezra had chosen a number of dishes from a local Indian restaurant down the street and you both groan as you pick your way through the selection.

“I have to remember this place,” you moan around a mouthful of korma, “it’s incredible.”

Ezra’s mouth is stuffed full with bhaji and he just nods as he chews, a look of bliss on his face as he swallows.

“The man who runs it, I spoke with him, was most courteous. He recommended his favorites from the menu and I must say, he sure does know how to make people want to return.”

“And there will be leftovers for days,” you say, leaning back in your chair, your belly full but there’s still so much food on the table.

“You keep it, my fridge is out of commission at the moment unfortunately,” Ezra says, “you’ll have the most delicious lunch for the next few days.”

“I can’t take all this food from you,” you protest but Ezra just shakes his head.

“I have nowhere to keep it.”

“Then keep it here, and come by and have lunch with me,” you suggest, “we can keep talking about baking and you can spend more time in the bakery, maybe we can figure out some things you can still bake.”

During the course of the meal Ezra had asked you about every aspect of your baking, your process behind the recipes, the techniques you used, the ingredients and where you sourced them. It had been a rare deep dive into your favorite subject with someone who shared your passion for the trade. You felt your attraction for him steadily grow while he leaned his head into his hand and kept his eyes on you as you went into the details of how to grow and maintain a healthy sourdough starter.

“You won’t grow bored of my company, moon pie?” he smiled, “And my increasingly desperate names for you?”

“No, I don’t think I’ll grow bored of you,” you smile back at him, “and your names are getting better.”

He laughs at that and pushes back his chair, “Then let me be a useful guest and clear this for us, and then we can get to the highlight of the evening perhaps?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

You lead him back into the kitchen and the plates and cutlery are soon in your industrial sized dishwasher in the back room. You get the ingredients out onto the workbench as Ezra wanders around the kitchen, looking at your equipment and making approving noises.

“I was never a professional baker like you, but I’m glad to see you favor the same brands for your pans as I do,” he chuckles, “Makes me feel less like a fraud.”

“I’m sure you’re just as good as I am,” you reply, “your skill didn’t disappear with your arm.”

He comes up to stand next to you, and as you look up at him, you see his smile fade as he shakes his head.

“No, but it might as well have, I held my skill in my right hand, my left just isn’t as steady and sometimes you need two hands.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, shaking your head, “I didn’t mean that it would be as easy as before, just that your knowledge of baking is still intact.”

He gives you a small smile, his hand coming up to rest on your shoulder for a brief moment, the warmth of his hand seeping through your t-shirt.

“I know, I just get frustrated as I’m reminded of what I used to be able to do.”

You lightly bump your hip against his and give him a smile, “Well, we’ve got three hands now, and a lot of skill between us, so this will be the best chocolate soufflé ever made.”

Ezra chuckles and smiles too, his hand slipping from your shoulder. But he doesn’t lift it, instead it drifts down to the small of your back and he leaves it there, as you lean over the notes you’ve made for the recipe. It sits comfortably against the cotton, a small, intimate touch that signals something else building between you, or at least you hope it does. Ezra is a lot more fun to have around than what you thought when you first saw him, and you’re glad he’s proving you wrong.

“Alright, I’m putting you on butter duty, I know you can do that one handed,” you say, giving him a wink as you look up at him, you want to involve him in this as much as possible, to make him feel good about baking again.”The ramekins are up on that shelf and the saucepan over there, you know what to do.”

Ezra grins back at you and gives you a sloppy, left handed, salute, “Yes, ma’am, I’m on it.”

While he gets started you set up the double boiler on your stove and start whisking the ingredients together. Ezra comes over with the saucepan and stands next to you while he melts the butter and you set up a third saucepan for the caramel.

“The whisking is the really hard part,” he says as you begin to combine the ingredients, “And even if I use a stand mixer for most things, whisking while it’s over the double boiler proved too hard, the saucepan just slid all over the place.”

“I wonder if there’s a way to maybe keep the saucepan stable?” you think out loud as you continue to stream the cream into the bowl, “Maybe a non-conductive ring, a silicone mold maybe? It wouldn’t heat up on an induction stove, would it?.”

“Maybe, that’s not a bad idea actually…” he says thoughtfully and you smile up at him.

“I can hear the cogs in your head turning, Ezra,” you laugh and he laughs with you.

“Yeah, you got me thinking there, I’ve got silicone oven mitts at home, I need to try with them first and then figure out where to get a ring shaped piece of silicone. But it’s a really good idea, thank you!”

He leans down and gives you a quick kiss on your cheek and it catches you by surprise, looking up at him and he smiles back.

“I apologize, a good deed deserves a nice gesture in return, and your cheeks look very kissable, sweet cheeks.”

He laughs at your exaggerated sigh and eye roll, bumping your hip in return as you’d done to him, “C’mon now, sweet cheeks, as far as pet names go, that one’s pretty good from my perspective.”

“Keep trying, Ezra,” you laugh, you can’t maintain your fake look of exasperation when he’s smiling at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners and looking at you with such a mischievous grin.

“Oh I’ll keep trying, biscuit,” he winks, “I’ll win you over soon enough.”

He steps away to grab a pastry brush, and as you whisk the batter you watch him coat the inside of the ramekins with melted butter. He struggles a bit at first when the first ramekin starts sliding across the workbench, but you quickly grab a kitchen towel, wetting it under the tap before spreading it out on the counter for him to put the ramekins on.

“You’re just full of bright ideas, pumpkin,” he smiles gratefully as you go back to the double boiler.

“I have my moments,” you chuckle and you feel his eyes on you as you continue to whisk the batter.

“You have more than a few moments, I think you have everything,” he says after a little while, his voice low and sincere. It’s ladened with something deeper and it makes you take your eyes off the batter and look up at him. He’s looking back at you, smiling, but there’s another layer to his eyes, like he’s smiling through a memory. A strange mix of regret and sadness flashes across his face, gone, as quickly as it appeared, and his smile grows wider, you realize it’s not reaching his eyes this time. But as you open your mouth to say something, he speaks first, turning back to the ramekins.

“What’s the next step, boss?” he asks, his voice back to the same cheerful tone he had just a few moments ago, and you’re certain you can see the mask come up this time. But you don’t challenge him, he’s hiding something, or at least there’s something he doesn’t want to share. So you consult your notes and point him to the egg whites.

“Use the Husqvarna and make the meringue while I chop the chocolate.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies and gets to work, the whisking made easy this time with the help of the mixer.

You continue preparing the chocolate batter and when Ezra is done with the meringue, you fold it into the airy egg whites, bringing them together into a light fluffy mixture. Ezra watches you as you drizzle a layer of caramel into the ramekins he’s prepared, leaving him to sprinkle a few flakes of sea salt before you scoop the soufflé batter on top, finishing with him sprinkling another few flakes on the chocolate.

“Done,” you say, "we make a good team, Ezra.”

“We do, and you’ve made this one handed fool very happy, letting him finally get to taste these soufflés again,” he says as you laugh and shake your head.

“No early victories, please! We still have to bake them and you know how fickle soufflés are.” You take the oven tray you’ve placed the ramekins on and carefully move them into the oven, turning down the heat.

“With this team?” Ezra chuckles, “I have all the faith in the world, cherry pie.”

“Better,” you smile at him as you watch him wipe down the workbench and then turn to jump up to sit on it.

“Better?” His eyebrows quirk up as he grins and holds out his hand for you, “Am I getting warm with my names?”

You jump up on the workbench and sit next to him, shaking your head, “No, I just find the man using them more agreeable.”

Ezra smiles, his dark eyes glinting as he turns to you, “You didn’t find me agreeable when I first arrived at your bakery?”

“Not…un-agreeable,” you say, thinking out loud and studying his face, the bright blonde patch of hair over his forehead curling with the heat in the kitchen, as are the unruly strands of hair around his neck, patchy beard over his jaw and cheeks, his mouth twitching up in a smile as he waits for you to continue.

“Just…hard for me to place? What you wanted. And why you were always looking at me,” you say and Ezra’s smile softens.

“I looked, because you’re beautiful.”

He says it so simply, no flourish, no fanfare or exaggeration. Just a statement as he keeps his eyes locked on yours, no smile, no grin, just his face, quietly scanning yours for a reaction.

You lift your hand and lightly touch his cheek, fingertips tracing his jaw, the short hairs of his beard, tickling under your caress as he slowly exhales.

He leans his face into your palm, your thumb soothing over the lines at the corners of his eyes as they close, and he lets a small sigh slip out, his warm breath tickling your wrist. Your thumb caresses his cheek while you study his face, the dark eyelashes casting shadows and his features soft, relaxed in a way you haven’t seen since he first showed up. He looks younger as you gently explore his lines with your fingertips and let them melt into softness under your touch.

A quiet hum escapes him as he tilts his head and lets your hand slip over his jaw and back to his neck. The curls are soft, wayward, and wrap easily around your fingers as you lean forward. The plush swell of his bottom lip is irresistible and you press your mouth carefully against it.

Ezra’s eyes fly open as your lips meet, his eyes dark and smiling. His hand comes up and gently mirrors your own, cupping your cheek as he presses his lips against yours in return. As you close your eyes, you feel his warm palm hold you steady and you part your lips, the tip of his tongue meeting yours, tasting him. His touch is soft, both his hand and his lips, making warmth spread through your body as he pulls you closer.

He kisses you like he’s trying to learn how to read you, studying your reaction to how his lips mold against yours as he tastes your tongue under his. Each moan he pulls from you makes him come back to pull it from you again, running his tongue over the same spot, nipping on your bottom lip with a gentle tug. You realize you started the kissing, but Ezra quickly takes control, his hand cupping your cheek, keeping you steady as your own hands caress his back, feeling the bunched muscles under his thin shirt, the warmth of his body heating your palms. You can feel his heartbeat against you, your own pulse thrumming under his fingertips as he pulls another moan from you when his hand slips into your hair.

He groans into your mouth and scoots off the workbench, pulling you with him so that he gains extra height on you. The change in angle lets him wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you in closer, pressing his lips to yours as your hands slide down his back, dipping into the waistband of his pants, finding the warm skin just under the edge.

With a groan, he pulls back, his hand still curled around the back of your neck, your arms still around his waist. You look up at him but his eyes are closed and he leans down, letting his nose run along yours, caressing your cheek, down your jaw, breathing hot over your skin, while he nuzzles your neck, inhaling deeply.

“Like chocolate,” he mutters, “and caramel. What I wouldn’t give…”

He falls silent, his lips pressing against your neck in a searing kiss that makes heat rush through your body, before he pulls back and stands up.

“I’d tell you your kisses are the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted in this bakery, but I don’t think even I could get away with that comment,” he smiles and you roll your eyes with a giggle.

“Not even you, Ezra,” you say, “although I’d say it’s a nice effort and that your kisses are just as sweet.”

“We make a good team,” he smiles, letting his thumb caress your cheek again as you nod. His eyes are still on you and you feel him studying you again, but it doesn’t feel awkward this time, just…breathtaking. Your breath hitches as his eyes slip over your lips, his thoughts clear on his face as the tip of his tongue peaks out. He’s the one who leans in this time, watching you close your eyes as he presses a gentle kiss to your lips, his thumb and finger catching your chin. When he pulls away a fraction, you open your eyes again and he’s smiling at you. The oven timer is beeping in the background and you hadn’t even noticed, his soft lips distracting you both from the insistent sound.

“I’ll get the timer, you get the soufflés,” he whispers and you nod slowly as he smiles and presses another soft kiss to your lips.

“Now, my sweet cherry pie, or we’ll have a very flat dessert.”

You smile back at him and grab the oven mitts and follow him to the oven.

This next step is crucial, carefully you open the door and slide out the tray. They’ve risen perfectly but as soon as they’re out of the oven they start cooling down and soon they’ll sink. You set the tray down on the workbench and Ezra brings over two dessert spoons. His face is beaming at the sight of the soufflés, sniffing as the warm chocolate scent fills the kitchen.

“They smell even better than the ones I made,” he grins as you slide a ramekin over to him.

“A team effort, Ezra,” you smile, “your recipe, our skill.”

“Your hands, luckily,” he replies, holding up his first spoonful of soufflé as if he’s toasting you, and you clink your spoon against his before you both have your first taste.

The flavor is rich in your mouth but the texture is light and airy, a small hint of sal de mer hitting your tongue as you hum around the taste. Ezra’s eyes are closed, his head tilted back as he sucks on the spoon, a low rumble coming from his chest as he savors the chocolate.

“My sweet soufflé,” he smiles, looking down at you through half closed eyelids, “this…this…is heaven.”

He digs his spoon in, and gets some of the caramel too, taking another mouthful as he groans again. You copy him and make sure to get both caramel and soufflé on your spoon for your next bite, and Ezra was right, the combination is flawless. You sigh around your spoon, slowly sucking the caramel off it as the chocolate melts in your mouth. Ezra is watching you with dark eyes and a small smile, his own spoon forgotten in his hand.

“I’d bake for you every day, no matter how much I’d struggle, if I could hear you make that sound again,” he says and it makes you laugh, giggling as he grins. He takes another spoonful of soufflé, smiling as he eats it, some of it catching on his mustache and you point at it.

“You got some chocolate on your beard there.”

Ezra removes the spoon from his mouth and gives you a sly smirk, “I’m sure I won’t be able to reach it with my tongue, why don’t you help me?”.

The tone of his voice, the mischief it promises, makes hot energy shoot through your nerves, your skin tingling as you put down your spoon and step closer to him. He’s looking down at you, his eyes full of mirth as you take his chin between your thumb and finger, tilting his head down towards you. He comes willingly, a small smile still lingering, and he’s so close, his hand finding its way to your waist.

“Can you reach it,” he asks in a low voice and you nod, locking eyes with him. They’re the same rich brown as the soufflé, just as warm and soft right now, as you lean in and run your tongue over the corner of his mouth, finding the errant smudge of chocolate. Catching the edge of his mouth between your lips, you lap at the sweet taste. His hand bunches up your shirt and as you run your tongue over the seam of his mouth, he parts it easily, letting you in. He tastes of the dessert and you know he can taste the same on you.

“I think you got it,” he mumbles, grinning, against your lips as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer.

“I need to make absolutely sure, can’t let you leave with chocolate all over your mouth,” you smile between kisses.

“You take such good care of me, honey.”

“That one’s a winner, Ezra,” you mumble, I’ll keep that one.”

He chuckles, his lips pulling up in a grin under yours as he kisses you again, “But it’s too ordinary, for such an extraordinary woman.”

“I like it, especially when it comes from you, you’re extraordinary enough for the both of us.”

Ezra tugs you closer, making you sigh into him as he buries his face against your neck, pressing a kiss against the soft skin before he rests his head on your shoulder.

“What am I going to do with you,” he says, more a statement than a question, his hand caressing your back, sliding up into your hair, cupping around your neck, “What am I going to do with myself.”

He slowly begins to sway, moving you back and forth in a slow dance without music.

“I need to leave soon, but I don’t want to,” he mumbles, gently spinning you around as you let your hand rest on his shoulder, the one missing his arm, “I have to leave this warm kitchen, your tender kisses, this sweet nest you’ve built for us.”

He spins you again, moving your body slowly with his own.

“This home you’ve created for someone like me.”

Before you can ask what he means he steps back, taking your hand in his, and with a flourish and bow, he kisses the back of it, making you smile.

“I am afraid, my sweet baker girl, that it is time for my departure, I will steal no more hours from you,” he says, letting go of your hand and taking his coat from the hook by the kitchen door, shrugging it back on, the empty sleeve hanging limp by his side. The other arm he hooks around your waist and leads you back out to the shop, towards the door.

“Ezra, it’s pouring outside,” you say, seeing the rain slick street outside, the asphalt shining black under the streetlights, “Let me at least give you a lift home, you’ll get soaked. Where do you live?”

“No, it’s no trouble, honey pie, my car is parked just a block away. And unlike you, my sweet thing, I am not made of sugar, a little rain won’t melt me,” he grins.

A twinge of regret hits your heart as you see the mask so clearly come up over his face again, the dark eyes shifting into something less open, the softness fading away even as he smiles at you.

“Do you have to leave?” you ask as he opens the door, and he turns, resting his back against the frame of the door.

“The illusion has to break,” he says softly, raising his hand and running the back of it over your cheek, giving you a small wink, but the mischief doesn’t reach his eyes this time.

“What does that mean, Ezra?” you ask but he just shakes his head, leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours.

“Take care of my soufflé recipe, sweet girl,” he mumbles, pulling back and giving you a crooked smile. Then he turns and hurries across the street, the rain splashing around his shoes as he pulls his collar up and disappears into the darkness between the streetlights.

…

The bell of the front door jingles just as you’re sweeping the floor, and as you look up, you spot Barbara from the dry cleaner across the street stepping into the shop.

“Hi, you’re still open this late?” she asks, shaking out her platinum blonde box dye curls and you internally sigh, Barbara is the neighborhood chatterbox and you just want to go home, it’s been a long day. But you put on a smile and continue sweeping.

“I’m just getting ready to leave, what’s up?”

“I meant to come earlier but I’ve been so busy. I just wanted to warn you in case he comes by here too,” she says, eyes scanning your bakery as if she’s looking for someone.

“Who?” you ask and she turns back to you.

“There’s a man, you’ve probably seen him, shifty looking guy, he only has one arm, and a weird blonde patch in his hair. He’s been around to all the shops in this neighborhood. I saw him outside your place earlier today.”

“What about him?” you ask, keeping your voice neutral as you duck down and wipe a shelf that’s already been cleaned, hiding your face.

“He’s been conning business into giving him free stuff all week, food, clothes, shoes,” Barbara says, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the very nerve of asking for something for free. “Mr. Mason even gave him a haircut and trimmed his beard, how he dared to do that I don’t even know. I wouldn’t even let him into the dry cleaners, you can’t trust people like that.”

You’re listening, your hand cleaning the same spot over and over as lead settles in your stomach.

“H-how do you know that?” you ask, moving to the coffee machine, rubbing it down with your back to her.

“Mrs. Levinson told me that Fanny, you know Fanny, in the flower shop?”

“Yeah, I know here, what did she say?” you ask impatiently, yanking at the milk nozzle, and you hear Barbara scoff behind you.

“Well, apparently, this man, he told Mr. Olson at the hardware store, that he lost his arm in a construction accident, but Mrs.Saqib’s husband works at the hospital and he said this guy came in last year with a gunshot wound, all infected and nasty. And that’s how he lost his arm,” she snorts, cackling to herself.

You continue to clean the machine, the heavy weight in your stomach turning to nausea, trying to keep your breathing steady as Ezra’s warm smile floats up inside your mind.

“He told the police he got shot at a poker game and it was an accident but I reckon he’s lying,” Barbara continues, “men like that, you never know what they get up to, a real nasty piece of work I think.”

“Thanks Barbara,” you snap, “I really need to close up and get home, thanks for telling me, I’ll be careful if I see him.”

You usher her to the door as she huffs at the abrupt interruption to her gossip session but you can’t get her out fast enough, slamming the door harder than necessary and giving her a strained smile through the window as she waves.

You hurry back to the kitchen, the ramekins still on the workbench and Ezra’s spoon next to them, just where he’d put it before he kissed you no more than a little while ago. You can’t even look at it, pulling your coat off the hook, you rush out through the back door and into the rain.

Early next morning, long before the rest of the world is awake, you’re back at the bakery after a sleepless night. No matter how little rest you got, the bakery has to open, and for it to open, you need to bake. Familiar motions of the early hours, a chance to stop your mind from spinning, it feels like a small relief today. The thoughts of Ezra in your tired mind won’t let your head relax and as you walk up to the back steps you almost miss the envelope pushed under the door.

You unlock the door and slip out the note inside while you step inside. The piece of paper is folded in an uneven line and as you smooth it out you see the unsteady handwriting of someone who’s writing with the wrong hand.

I know what they say about me, the gossip, the rumors, and I confess, most of it is true. I’m sorry. I wish I was a different man, I wish I could offer you something, anything, but I have nothing to give to anyone.

I did tell you the truth in the end though. You captivate me. You will always be my most cherished memory. That will always be true.

Always yours,

Ezra

Part Six

Two links this time, one to the NYT recipe and one to the wonderful Claire Saffitz's making the souffles if you want to attempt them yourselves. I've added the caramel and sea salt though, as an extra layer of Ezra ☺

youtube

Tag list: @harriedandharassed @inept-the-magnificent @sheepdogchick3 @readingiskeepingmegoing @noisynightmarepoetry @survivingandenduring @vabeachazn @amyispxnk @oberynslady @vabeachazn

#Youtube

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lesbianloml · 1 year

Text

the beginning

my babysitter au

type of piece(s): imagine, oneshot, drabble, series

type(s) of writing: smut, angst, fluff, dark (the story will contain all of the above)

pairing(s): milf!dom!dark!wanda maximoff x innocent!sub!immune!witch!fem!reader

warning(s): legal age gap (wanda is 33, reader is 21), perverted men, mentions of sex, this is just where they meet so nothing big

summary: when wanda hires a new babysitter, she is shocked to find that there are some things she doesn't know about her town. the biggest shock is you, you are immune to wanda's powers. an even bigger shock comes when wanda finds out you have powers of your own.

a/n: this series is going to be LOOSLY based on my wandavision dr. if anyone has anything they would like to see or something, let me know. and if anyone wants to talk about shifting, hit me up. i kinda imagined reader as a soft and quiet girl. also, you're kinda a whore. and you love to read and bake. in this series, wanda doesn't really do a tv show or different eras, it's all just normal. but the agents and stuff outside the hex have a big part. reader works at the local café that she owns and spends most of her free time in the library. anyways, enjoy part one!

1.8k words

(not my pics)

(pretend she had billy and tommy before the hex)

"what's the name for your order?" you asked, a little annoyed. you loved your job, but the older man standing in front of you made you want to throw your apron down and quit. "cohen, babe. don't forget next time" cohen shoots you a wink. you hold back a gag as you try to smile politely, writing the name on the side of the cup and turning your back to begin making the drink. grabbing a bag from behind you, you set the cinnamon pastry you made a few hours prior into a container and set it in the bag. as quick as you can, you mix up his drink and slap a lid on it while rolling up the top of the bag, wanting him to leave as soon as possible. "here you go" you say, spinning around and handing the bag and the drink to him. he gives you a look and opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, you tap the counter three times swiftly. your work best friend, sophie comes around from the back. "hey babe! is he causing you trouble?" cohen glares harshly at sophie, but one thing you love about her is the way she doesn't back down. sophie gives him a look that immediately has cohen scurrying out the door, tail between his legs. "thanks soph" "anytime love. we get off in fifteen, where you going tonight? your apartment or your mom's house?" you look around to see an empty café, emptier than usual. usually, the shop is packed full of starved or thirsty customers. but it's dark outside, and who would come get caffeine and food at 9:45 at night?

"I'll just stop by the library real quick before it closes and then head home and watch a movie or something." you say, smiling as you think about the old library downtown. it was your favorite place to be whenever you had free time or just needed some quiet. you turn and stacked some more cups and filled up the napkin container while waiting for your shift to end or another customer to walk in. you hear soph come out from the back room, where she was restocking supplies. "hey girl, can i ask a favor?" "yeah i'll stay and lock up so you can go fuck shawn" you say with a smirk and a giggle. sophie gasps dramatically. "how'd you know what i was gonna ask?" "because you ask me at least once a week. and the fact that you're a year older than me and supposed to be more mature makes it even funnier" "thank you! i'll see you tomorrow. don't forget, on sunday night we're baking treats for the elementary school bake sale on monday." "got it. i love you. see you sunday. enjoy shawn!" you sing as sophie laughs. "i will. love you too." "today is friday so on sunday, i need to be here by 5:00am so i can set up the tables and stuff to be ready to open at 6:00am. then i'll work until 10:00pm, close up, and help sophie bake some treats for monday's bake sale at the elementary school" you plan your day tomorrow in your head. glancing at the clock, you see it reads 9:55pm. 5 more minutes until you can lock up and leave. you work on monday, wednesday, friday, and sunday from 5:00am to 10:30pm. you usually open at 6:00am and close at 10:00pm 4/7 days a week. you love your job but hate the hours. your job at the coffee shop payed extremely well, so no matter how much you hated waking up before the sun, you weren't going to quit. you grab a rag and wipe the counters down. 3 minutes until you lock up and leave.

you spin around when you hear the little bell above the shop door ding, signaling someone came in. you almost drop the damp rag you're holding when you see her, a women, maybe in her early thirties. she had beautiful red hair and striking green eyes. her clothes were casual and relaxed, but you were sure she was some sort of powerful figure from the way she walked and held herself. you had never seen her in westview before, you were sure you'd remember her, and you'd lived in westview since you were eighteen, so three years now. you shake your head before walking around the counter to greet the women. she's even prettier up close. "you came in at the perfect time. i was just about to lock up." you tell the women with a smile. "oh, i can leave if you're closed-" before the women starts apologizing, you cut her off. "oh no, it's ok. i don't mind, i was getting lonely in here anyways. what can i get for you tonight?" "just a coffee and a piece of apple pie, please" you nod and turn to make her order. you don't ask her name, too shy to do so. it's a good thing that this women isn't. "i'm wanda." "y/n. i don't remember seeing you around westview. did you just move here?" you ask, sliding her drink and bag with the pie in the container to her over the counter. "no, we haven't moved here yet. i was just looking around, getting ready to move in with my boys" "oh, you have kids? how old?" "i have twin boys. they're ten" wanda's face lights up when she talks about them. "cute! i guess i'll be seeing you around more if you're going to move here" "you sure will, sweetheart." you wonder what that's supposed to mean as wanda smiles at you before paying and exiting the café, leaving a trail of perfume in her wake.

wanda turns the wheel to the left, not really knowing what she's looking for, but knows she's looking for something. wanda reminds herself that she needs to head back to the hotel and rest up for tomorrow when she and her boys were going to move into their new home. ever since vision kicked them out, they've been staying in a hotel but then wanda remembered the house that she owned in westview. the perfect place for her and her boys to start over. as wanda is thinking, her head droops and stomach grumbles. she hasn't drank or eaten anything all day. wanda continues driving around the streets, looking for a restaurant or something that she could get a bite to eat at. wanda slows the car when she sees a little café on the corner, letting out a sigh of relief as she sees movement and light from inside. she wouldn't have made it the forty five minutes back to the hotel without eating something. she quickly climbs out of her car and enters the café, not really paying attention to who's there with her. wanda just wants to get back as soon as she can. "you came in at the perfect time. i was just about to lock up" wanda almost falls over at the sound of the other female's voice. it was so relaxing and quiet. so beautiful. she glances up to look and sees you. wanda swears she stops breathing for a moment. you were the most gorgeous thing she'd ever seen. with the prettiest smile, even at the disturbance, and the softest voice, wanda swore she just met an angel. you had to be an angel. you're smiling. at her. "oh, i can leave if you're closed-" "oh no. it's ok. i don't mind, i was getting lonely in here anyways. what can i get for you tonight?" you were so sweet, so kind. "just a coffee and a slice of apple pie, please" wanda smirks to herself when she sees the tint of blush on your cheeks. you were so cute, too shy to talk to her or ask her name. "i'm wanda" "y/n. i don't remember seeing you around westview. did you just move here?" wanda watches you slide the bag and coffee across the counter towards her. "no, we haven't moved here yet. i was just looking around, getting ready to move in with my boys" wanda states. "oh, you have kids? how old?" "i have twin boys. they're ten" she smiles at the thought of her boys. "cute! i guess i'll be seeing you around more if you're going to move here" "you sure will, sweetheart."

as wanda clambers into her car to begin the drive home, she thinks about the girl at the counter. "y/n" wanda thinks to herself, smiling at the name. she thinks it suits you. and as wanda is turning onto the freeway, she thinks to herself, "that girl will be mine"

as you lock up the café and slide into your car, you think about the women you saw. she was very pretty, and you hope that her and her kids move in ok. as you turn you car on and pull out of the parking lot, you rest your hands on the wheel as you begin driving home. your mind is pleasantly empty on the drive back to your apartment.

the first time wanda ever met you, wanda thought about you the entire drive back to the hotel. you were the most angelic person she'd ever met, and she was enchanted by you. the first time that you met wanda, you thought about her once before driving home. she was just another customer to you. but little did you know, you were becoming so much more to her.

little do you know, this is just the beginning

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nicxl333 · 10 months

Text

MEINE LIEBE, MEINE SCHÖNHEIT, MEINE LIEBE— MICHAEL KAISER X READER

warnings: suggestive content, fluff, implied sex

cross posted on wattpad

i actually don’t know why it’s taken me this long to write about kaiser, i fucking love this man *moans*

love was a concept kaiser could not understand nor wished to get involved with. he believed love clashed with his ideals to escape from noel noa's shadow therefore dissociating from the norm that he is second best where noa is concerned. in other words;

love would only hold him back.

well, at least that's what he thought before you came along.

—

it all started when he was out shopping with ness, picking out over expensive items he did not necessarily need but bought anyways to feed into his swelling ego as well as affirming within himself that if 'he can he will'.

he had chanced upon a clothing shop with a shirt that caught his eye, wanting to look at it briefly at a closer angle. while the shirt wasn't over appealing to him, he had no reason to not buy it, considering how rich he is. he started filtering through, selecting the right size, giving it to ness to hold and heading towards the counter. just as they was approaching the queue, he lightly clashed into something in front of him, looking down with increasing displeasure at whoever weren't looking at where the fuck they were going, seeing an extremely beautiful woman rubbing her shoulder. he didn't speak at first, allowing his anger to simmer. he didn't need to anyways, not when ness was present and apparently feeling more offended than kaiser himself who was actually hit.

"oi, watch where you're going you idiot. you just hit the Michael Kaiser!"

what they didn't anticipate however was you having the ability to stand up for yourself.

you took an airpod out of your ear, giving the most aggravated side eye both football players had ever seen.

"first off, i would watch who the fuck you're talking to. i don't care if his name is michael or fucking joey, i will not be disrespected by a pair of strangers when i clearly bumped into you by accident. you didn't even give me time to breathe, let alone apologise, which i won't be doing now for the record."

although stunned, kaiser was somewhat intrigued at your reaction. although he likes annoying people and baiting reactions, this was truly one of the few times he had actually been knocked down a peg in retaliation. he wanted to know more about you.

"damn. feisty."

"i'll show you fucking feisty if you want."

ness stood there, solemnly humbled and out of commission to spout any other bullshit from his mouth, while kaiser was stunned into temporal silence.

"whatever, leave me alone you freaks."

you turned to walk up to the cashier desk, letting the sales assistant scan your clothes items. they gave you the price and you reached into your purse to take your card. a hand beat you to it however, a beep resounding from the card machine. you looked up to see a tattooed hand retracing back to the owner's side, holding a black card. he looked to you with a sly grin.

"what, am i supposed to be impressed?" you quizzed with a raised brow.

well damn.

it was clear to kaiser that you were different from other women, who were always easily impressed by money.

"just an apology for how my friend acted towards you, meine liebe."

you ignored him and took the now bagged clothes from the sales assistant, muttering a word of thanks while turning back to the duo, opening your wallet.

"i don't wanna owe you anything, so how much was it? i didn't see the price."

"aht, aht, that's between me and my bank account now. although if you truly must repay me, how about dinner tonight?"

ness' eyes nearly popped out of his head with seething jealousy that kaiser was diverting his attention elsewhere. he wouldn't say that to him though, he valued his life and would prefer to not be embarrassingly degraded in public again.

you gave a calculated stare at kaiser in slight shock, not expecting the once hostile environment to transition towards one of romance.

you pinched the bridge of your nose, slowly inhaling before opening your eyes.

"if it'll get you to leave me alone then fine."

you held your hand out for his phone, which he placed in your palm, quickly typing in your number and saving a name. you promptly returned it back to him, to which he looked at the details.

hot girl from store

he looked back up, only seeing where you previously stood, now vacated. he smirked to himself in amusement.

• six months later •

it's safe to say in the time he had gotten to know you, he swiftly became enamoured. although you protested countless of times, he would make sure to take you to upscale restaurants, don you with high end clothing. jewels, diamonds, shoes, dresses, you name it, he bought it. you only had to be remotely interested in the item you were looking at to find it at your doorstep the next day. and don't get you started on the way he loved you during the night. he always made sure you were satisfied before he was.

it's safe to say you had him wrapped around your finger. don't think that's it's a bad thing, but what really had kaiser keening for you was the interest you had for him as a person, not for who he was. you were probably the only person who treated him as a human being and not just a notorious football player. you allowed him to be himself around you. and he valued you immensely for that.

in the six months you had been dating each of you treated the other equally as well. although you requested for the relationship to stay secret for the meantime, he never gave you less of his love. it got to the stage where he couldn't imagine doing anything without you.

it just so happened that one night while watching a movie on his couch he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

you head was laid on his lap, stroking his thigh while he stroked your hip. your face was illuminated by the soft glow emanating from the tv and you just looked so damn beautiful.

he didn't intend for it to happen, but he couldn't stop the words from slipping out.

"i love you."

your head rose slightly, making sure you weren't tweaking and he actually professed his love to you.

his face was alarmingly red and he was looking anywhere but you in the moment, having grown shy. you sat up from his lap opting to sit on him instead, wrapping your legs and arms around him, placing your head in the crook of his neck and giving a light peck, moving to whisper in his ear.

"i love you too handsome."

he turned his head catching your lips in a heated passionate kiss, quickly incorporating his tongue into the mix, tasting the salt from the chips you were eating during the movie. it quickly escalated, your hands threading into his blonde and blue locks, gripping them and pulling slightly, to which he moaned into your mouth.

he reached his limit, and so did you . he lifted your body and lay you down on the couch, taking off his shirt and caging you in with his arms.

"i'm about to show you how much i love you meine schönheit."

#michael kaiser #michael kaiser blue lock #blue lock #bluelock smut #bluelock fluff #anime #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x you #michael kaiser x y/n #oneshot #bluelock one shot #nicxl333 #nicxl333writes #bastard munchen #alexis ness

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beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year

Text

He put crack in this song.

Does anyone else sit with the fact that, besides the choir, every voice heard on Set Me Free Pt 2 belongs to Jimin?

(Jimin, the man you are...)

You know, I used to wonder why Yoongi chose Tony Montana as the song to have Jimin rap on. This was way back, when I didn't really pay attention to Jimin, and I felt Jimin should be the last person to feature on a track like that. Tony Montana is one of the most disgusting songs in Yoongi's discography. It's so nasty. I'm talking gutter trap, filthy distortion... not even Yankie (the original featuring artist) could do that beat justice, and that's the song Yoongi gave Jimin.

Yoongi knew...

(He's an animal)

Yoongi knew that Jimin would work magic on a track like Tony Montana, and be fully in his element. Jimin is very similar to Yoongi in that way, and this is even more clear after SMF Pt 2. Yoonmin both use autotune to represent the voices in their heads, to colour whole personalities, to exhibit their alter-egos, both benevolent and malicious. Yoongi's mastery of that tool has only enhanced his credibility as an MC, and if there's any member who can one day match Yoongi's proficiency in using that stylistic tool, it's Jimin. Because already, with his first ever song as a solo artist, Jimin has painted such an arresting picture using that tool.

When SMF Pt 2 first dropped, I thought there were only two voices in the song: the autotuned voice saying Jimin's inner thoughts, and the normal voice singing the topline of the song. Now, I hear four distinct voices:

The voice representing reckless ambition - “I never stop, I never stop / Ah yeah, ah yeah”

The voice representing impatience and anger - "Hey fool, just get out of my way / Shut up, fuck off / I’m on my way"

The voice representing the exponent - "Enemy / Better be"

The voice representing clarity, acceptance, and triumph - "날 비웃어도 멈추지 않아"

Even with the autotune, Jimin uses it in three very different ways to express three different voices in his head - all of which are wholly Jimin, but he closes off the whole affair in his own voice, the one that's least processed on the song, the voice that represents his triumph and determination to forge his own path.

(Called it)

It's been weeks and I'm still obsessed with Jimin's delivery of those voices. His voice is addicting. No member in BTS can sing "Fuck all your opps" the way Jimin does.

Speaking of opps...

I've seen your asks about our old friend, William, and I haven't responded because a big part of me doesn't care. I don't want to be dismissive of the people who are angry that William excluded ~100k units in sales for Jimin (and Jimin only, going by the placements of other k-artists on the chart) in the second week of tracking. I agree with you that it's annoying because as it always is with BTS, the rules have been selectively applied, Jimin's work and achievement has been made to look less legitimate, and this is happening while the same organization highlights and celebrates other k-artists who haven't just fallen off the chart, but also performed poorly in critics reviews, so a.k.a. mediaplay.

I feel the frustration too but at the same time, when has the playing field ever been equal for BTS? It feels like a rite of passage for new fans to experience at least one 'what the fuck just happened?' moment when it comes to how blatant the subversion is for BTS.

But I don't care to harp on about it because (1) It's unproductive, (2) I'm neck-deep in FACE, (3) I just kinda believe Jimin.

He's not stopping. He plans to continue making music even if it hurts and even if people mock him. And I plan to keep listening to him for as long as he feels he has something to say. Jimin has already made his mark, and like everything else he does, he's done it in record time in spite of all the handicaps. He knows his fans love his work, he knows he's gotten critical acclaim for his efforts, and he knows the industry has never been a friend - he's not new to William's antics. Jimin is fine.

(...more than fine. Just look at that man. God. He was born to own the stage)

The fandom is another matter lol. ARMYs will need to figure out how to adapt, the way the fandom has always found ways to adapt, but I don't know if this will happen before the implosion or afterwards.

Either way it's only a matter of time before Jimin comes back with another project that ends k-pop and wins hearts, saves souls, and makes babies. The world can decide whether or not to make room for him to settle at the top and it wouldn't matter, because Jimin means it when he says he makes his own way. And I intend to support him as an artist his entire career. It's me and him. The rest of you can choose to join in or not.

(A performer)

Everything about Set Me Free Pt 2 feels extreme. Every single thing about it. The brass. The haunting, wailing, choral chants. The autotune... There are so many choices Jimin could have made on that song: he could've tempered the aggression with an intermission of his feather-light vocals the way he does on Face Off, he could have emphasized his points by having the instrumentals bottom out the way it does on Alone, he could have gone about SMF Pt 2 in a million other ways, but he chose the most audacious sound to declare that from here on out, he's playing by his own rules, making art on his own terms, and everyone else is just going to have to get used to the idea.

(*The performer)

For the Anon surprised that Jimin knows about Rilke, but went on to diss Joon in the same ask... what did you think Jimin was doing with Namjoon all those times they'd hang out and talk about life? Namjoon is the bonafide Rilke fanboy in BTS, has been sharing Rilke's works and poems with fans and the members for at least six years now, but it's suddenly surprising Jimin looked up poems to fit the theme of his song and went with Rilke? Y'all need to start paying attention to how your biases interact with every other member in BTS, not just the members you like.

#I'm writing this because it's been weeks and I still can't get over Jimin's alt-voices.#I'm so impressed with FACE #Jimin has done well #Clearing my drafts ahead of D-DAY #Jimin #park jimin

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pokegalla · 2 years

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New idea from @theneurodivergentdummy

It was a very fluffy idea. I just HAD to write it. Enjoy chaotic fluff!!!

Family Comes First

“Tamaaaaaaaa! I’m booooooored”

Saitama glanced back from his manga, “Hi bored. I’m Saitama.”

(Y/n) glared at him and went to the fridge, with ill intent. She knew Saitama was abnormal in his strength and reflects, but he always lets his guard around her. She grabbed a slice of cheese and yeeted it across the room. It landed on Saitama’s head….with a loud slap.

“(Y/N)!!!!” He shouted.

“Oh alas! The caped baldy has been defeated! But eh….,” (Y/n) made a shit eating grin, “I like yah cut G-“ She ran as Saitama chased her around the small apartment. He managed to nab her but Genos suddenly broke into the wall.

“Master! I have heard screams. Are you in danger?!” He shouted. He looked to see Saitama about to throw her over the couch.

Genos sweat dropped, “Oh….false alarm then.”

“Gigi!!!” (Y/n) shouted excitingly. Saitama threw her but towards Genos to which he caught her.

“What have I told you about messing with my master, Ms.(Y/n)?” Genos asked sternly. He sighed when she pouted, “Please act your age. You are around my age. You must act accordingly.”

“Hmmmm….no~,” (Y/n) said. She got down from his arms and grabbed her belongings, “I’m off Tama! There’s a sale on ice cream today!”

“Atta girl! Get those sales!” Saitama said proudly, “Just be careful, k?”

(Y/n) smiled, “Ok~!”

She happily trotted away as they watched, “….Master? I have been meaning to ask you. What is your relations to this girl? How come she has been staying here?”

Saitama stretched, “Oh yeah mmm forgot to tell yah….she’s my niece. She’s going to be staying here from now on. Her folks just died recently from a threat level demon.”

Genos looked shocked, “Really? I-Is she alright?”

Saitama smiled, “She’s a tough one Genos. She won’t let it bother her.”

“Oh….it is still very unfortunate. But that is very nice of you to take her under your wing Master,” Genos added.

Saitama looked slightly embarrassed, “Well yeah she’s family so….I mean she and I were close when we were younger. Wanted to be heros too. But we never got powers. I trained but she’s just living life without a care, enjoying it to the fullest. Kinda envious of her really….” He noticed Genos wasn’t paying attention, “OH COME ON!!! I’m having a heart to heart talk you jackass! At least enjoy it while it lasts!!!”

Genos simply points at the tv, “M-Master….look”

Saitama looked in an annoyed huff only to freeze up. On the tv was a young girl sizing up a monster, waving a gun around and flipping it off. Oh no….

“That’s her isn’t it?” Saitama asked.

Geno nodded, “She’s….not going to actually engage in combat is she?”

“Yup. She would,” Saitama said, popping the p. They looked at each other then RUSHED to get over there. “Dammit kid-!!!”

The sun was already going down. Genos was injured again but not too badly this time. Saitama had him hold himself up with his shoulders to help him walk while (Y/n) was being carried in one arm. They rushed to save her….and they were surprised to see she managed to take down the ringleader with the gun. Unfortunately the minions weren’t too happy about that….luckily Saitama took them out in seconds.

“Mind telling me where you got a GUN from,” Saitama asked.

“Oh right! Guess this is kinda random huh? My dad made this for me in case I’m in trouble since I don’t have powers,” (Y/n) smiled sweetly, “Pretty nifty huh? My old man was a smart guy. It’s very special to me….”

Saitama stared at her thoughtfully before sighing, “Jeez next time warn me about stuff like that. Can’t have you running around with a gun like that. Do you even have a license for that?”

(Y/n) gulped, “Oh….right. That’s a thing.”

“Oh great. First you get ballsy and try to face a whole monster group by yourself, but you also RUN AROUND THE CITY WITH AN UNLICENSED GUN. What you want to get arrested?!” Saitama shouted.

“I BEAT HIM DIDN’T I?!” (Y/n) shouted back, “And I lost my ice cream cause of you! Can’t you be a LITTLE more careful where you punch?!” They kept going back and forth until Genos waved a few dollar bills in front of our faces.

“Do not worry. We can buy ice cream in the nearest grocer at 0.5 miles. We can get there in 2 minutes and 45 seconds with my turbo boosters or at approximately 25 seconds with Master’s speed,” Genos explained. Saitama and (Y/n) exchanged glances.

Saitama shrugged, “Sure. I’ll run. Just take it easy Genos.”

“Thank you Gigi,” (Y/n) said happily.

And they went to buy their ice cream. People gave them odd looks but they couldn’t care less as they happily munched on ice cream and headed home.

#my writing #self insert #funny #cute #fluff #anime oneshot #Saitama #Genos #one punch man #chaotic #saitama x reader #Genos x reader #reader is Saitama’s niece #writing prompt

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gongustheawsome01 · 5 months

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Some cannon relationships for Vicky and stuff ( Pretty much just what she thinks of each character )

More info on Vicky here! ( Backstory )

Vicky Backstory

Peppino -

The first introduction she had to this man was him breaking into her house thinking it was another one of pizzaheads plans and almost beating HER up before he realize she wasn't pizzahead and was indeed a vampire ready to rock his face in.

He was so pathetic and sad though that it would just be absolutely miserable to kill him so she let him go.

So yeah she doesn't really like him all too well! She often pranks him a lot not like water bucket but in a spooky way like jump scarring or putting one million trillion spiders in his room. She still however isn't as annoying as the noise

Gustavo -

Oh they're sworn enemies. He hates her because of her constantly pranking Peppino and making his life more miserable than it already is. Vicky however sees Gustavo as a total joykill and that it's just some silly fun.

He often sends brick to scare her off he is pretty bad at being scary though so she just runs off most of the time or fly's off if she decides to transform into a bat.

Mr.Sticks -

She ALMOST killed him when they first met because she thought he was just another annoying door to door sales man that was gonna be her next meal ( I mean she WAS right on one of those parts ) but due to the pairs GOD AWFUL taste in fashion she actually really liked his outfit and asked about it.

They then talked for hours about a lot of things until Sticks realized like after one whole hour he was talking to a vampire and bolted out of the door screaming like a girl.

They then kept running into another until Sticks accepted she wasn't going to suck his blood out. They are now best friends because of the power of being failures, bad fashion taste, and being annoying!

Burton -

She met him when she was hanging out at Sticks insane apartment and they both heard a knock at the door sticks went up to get it and Burton was there! Paying a visit because he realized he was passing by.

He then looked over to see Vicky just kinda standing there like a statue because she didn't know this guy so hypothetically he COULD be a vampire slayer but he was also a friend of Sticks so was he chill?

Burton then turned over to Sticks and asked him. "..Scott is that a vampire?"

She then stopped overthinking for a moment to say. "YOUR NAME IS SCOTT??" Anyways now they're pretty content with another I feel as if they talked to each other more than they would become friends.

Brick -

he's working with Gustavo and y'know sometimes DOES bite her. So like I'd say they probablyyyy don't like each other..

Noisette -

She found her cafe one afternoon when she was just wandering about. She wasn't looking for anything to eat or drink but just thought she'd have a quick look.

Noisette herself seemed pretty nice of a gal. She insisted that she at least try one of her foods but just looking at the menu said she'd already ate. They talked for a bit well Noisette mainly did the talking..

But she was alright in Vicky's terms at least. Vicky actually ended up becoming a regular there mainly to pass the time though and Noisette can be entertaining. So in the end... Good friends! ( Also yes they do gossip sometimes. )

Noise -

NOISETTE IS TOO GOOD FOR HIM AND HE DESERVES THE GUILLOTINE!!! In her humble opinion..

Pepperman-

While she does actually fancy his artistic talent and owns maybe one or two of his paintings. Holy hell is he INSUFFERABLE to her.

When it comes to Noisette the appeal with her is that while she doesn't mean to sound rude Noisette is a little.. empty headed and kinda just goes on tangents of whatever! Which can be really entertaining.

BUT THIS GUYYY MAN!!! She spends five seconds around him and all of a sudden it's "himself", or "something pretentious here", OR EVEN "so like why do you wear red anyways? For the vampire look or is it a sort of metaphor for-" before he could even finish that one though she hit him over the head with a wooden chair.

Vigilante-

She can't interact with this guy. He reminds her too much of her sister.

Fake peppeino-

She met this THING ONCE and she decided never again and doesn't even bring it up you mention even the slightest bit of it and she just goes "SHSHSHHSHSSHHHHHHHSHSHSHHHHHH"

Aka she may or may not have actually felt fear for the first time in forever for her thousands of years alive.

(NOTE: SOME OF THIS CAN AND MOST LIKELY WILL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE. )

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folatefangirl · 1 year

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Haven't seen one of these floating around for the recent MTAP tag but here's some gameplay tips I've picked up as a newbie who picked this up while it was 80% off on steam. I was mega stressed early on due to not knowing things and would be happy to pass on advice to save others the stress:

1. Reddit is good for advice and tumblr is penalizing me for links so yeah. Use the reddit community and/or wiki when stuck. Link to a decent set of advice is in the replies to this post.

2. Repair your workshop as soon as possible bc you'll wake up with low stamina daily until that gets done. Doesn't take more than like 30ish or so pieces of wood.

3. Yep the advice to make more than one machine is correct. Even for the blender. Maybe not the cooking setup or basic skiver per se. Yes, this will use up resources and space. Use the For Sale sign to expand space (or be like me and try to cram a level 2 house into a space too small for it 😅).

4. In the small planter boxes, grow lettuce, cotton, and wheat as much as possible if you can. You can also grow other things, but these seem to be the most helpful for feeding mounts and skiver crafting. Large boxes are for the special giant seeds and you can get the box from the church store and seeds from the Mysterious Man. Fertilize often to have the best shot at winning the Autumn Festival!

5. No, you can't have a rival romance with Higgins, tragically. But you can spar and body block him and chat to him until 9 AM to prevent him from taking commissions, especially the fancy valuable ones. I'm currently chill with being at rank 2 in my first year so I don't bother yet. I still think we should be allowed to woo him. As a treat. And mechanic to make him nicer 😅. Btw once he scams you (you'll know when) talk to him as soon as possible after and you can at least guilt him into giving you money.

6. No seriously do use Gust's shop in A&G to swap for 999 wood and keep furnaces running. You'll get wayyy too much stone from mining and the first quarry only gives so much marble for stone tables to sell en masse when the market is up. Other quarries are annoying to get to in the early game. Use the excess for wood first, then making stone bricks or stone tools etc to sell or whatever. Go wild. I make excess glass to sell since it's more profitable than raw resource selling, yep even with the wood cost. Still haven't figured out how to make excess soil more profitable besides planter boxes.

7. If you don't wanna feel like a monster for killing llamas for their worn fur, you can totally kill panbats. I like all the critters so I feel like a monster regardless 🥴. Kinda has to be done for certain quests and quest items tho.

8. Make allll the Dee-Dee Stops you can for the spots marked on the map. You can also have your mount follow you to the next stop.

9. Bring or make stamina repletion food when mining, esp if you have the game speed slowed down and don't run to the Round Table to replete (you have a limited number of things you can eat and can only eat once daily... Or you could try sitting for an hour if you aren't like me and it won't drive you crazy to sit and do nothing).

10. Annoying timed storyline quest needed items that you can collect earlier while the main story has no time limit for progression per se: pretty much all ores/ore products and special mining items like valves and engines, wild cocoons, ironwood (more than you think), bat wings, bamboo papaya, information discs (I keep the extra beyond the ones I give Petra for research in general for the storyline quest diagrams; I can complete the relics later), knight badges from the Round Table (minimum 250 of them), old parts, crystal necklace x1, dog food x1, soap x1, wildflower bouquet from Alice x1, tempering fluid, copper and steel wire, steel planks, welding rods. Can't think of the other ones that were super urgent and non-commission board rn as of Winter 1st (my latest stopping point) but yeah this is totally a hoarding game.

11. P.S. To get into the hazardous ruins area as a lower level, literally just dodge and run for 60 seconds. Do a hit if you feel brave. Yes, it's cowardly but it totally works and unlocks neat stuff you really need for certain quests. You can kick their asses later.

12. The worst that can happen if you die is that you get warped back home. Same for passing out at 3 AM but without the health depletion. Use that knowledge for what you will. I've noticed in boss battles it just bumps me back to the start of the battle with full health and stamina so I only get warped back further in other situations.

That's all I have for now but I may add more as I play. Hope this helps!

#cinnia writes things #cinnia makes things #gaming #my time at portia #mtap #gaming advice #long post

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tadpolejourney · 3 months

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Day 5

The situation at the grove is tense to say the least. The druids are doing some sort of religious rite to close the grove to outsiders because they're afraid of monsters and goblins. They mean to leave the tieflings to die. They don't care that there are elderly and children among them, nor do they care what they've had to endure to get here.

Kagha is cruel and dangerous, ready to murder a child over a wooden idol. The druids are cowardly and even those who oppose her in private will not act against her. I offered to find Halsin, their real leader, in the hopes that will keep them from doing something foolish. Zevlor, the tiefling leader, thought me a murderer for hire, and wants me to kill Kagha. No thanks. I really hope I can find Halsin alive and keep those tiefling kids safe. I've made a huge mistake and gotten attached to them. I know their names.

Nettie, the druid healer, tried to murder me rather than cure me. I knocked her out, and I hope no other desperate infected crosses her path.

I met a bard named Alfira, helped her finish a song. The cat's out of the bag... they know I'm Calypso now. None of them have met me before or seen me on stage though, so that saves me the embarrassment of not remembering yet another person in a sea of faces and single-serve encounters. She seemed star-struck but wasn't too weird about it, which I appreciated. She has a lot of potential from what I can tell. A very sweet heart, with a sweet voice to match. She seems like she could nurture the talent in others if she wanted to.

Shortly after meeting Alfira, a cambion appeared to us. Offering a cure for the infection. Raphael, he calls himself. Took us to his House of Hope, used a lot of bad poetry and threats as a sales pitch. Typical devilry, 0 stars, did not purchase. He's just as full of shit as any other devil, and I refuse to give him what he wants. I'm betting he knows nothing about Mephisto and I. He better watch himself if he knows what's good for him.

We saved a tiefling boy from a pack of harpies. Actually the toughest fight we've had yet. He wrote a story about me. Sweet kid.

Still not entirely sure what Gale's deal is. He complimented me with one sentence, and then proceeded to fully overshadow his compliment with a long declamation of self-aggrandizement and boasting about his superior magical prowess. So strange.

I went to speak to him at camp tonight and he was staring longingly at a conjured image of Mystra. I can tell there's more than just religious devotion there; it seemed like intense obsession. We talked of magic and channeled the Weave together. I've felt the sensations of magic before, naturally, but this was more powerful and more practiced than I could ever be. I finally got a glimpse of just how powerful of a wizard he was before this mess. Channeling the Weave was intimate, sensual, but safe. It didn't matter that it felt safe; it was too intimate for me and I could feel myself starting to panic. However, that anxiety was completely overpowered by my wanting. I had to make serious, concerted effort to hide how I was feeling. It felt like my heart was pounding so hard, surely he must have heard it. I kept trying to remind myself that I can't trust this man, that he's hiding something major, he's full of himself, he's obsessed with a goddess, etc. I tried to give myself a million reasons why my feelings in that moment should not be acted upon. But it was as though I were completely deaf to my own wisdom, fear, and reason. I conjured the image and feeling of what I thought it would be like to kiss him. Being that close to him, it was as though there was so much heat. I've felt chemistry with people, attraction, wanting, all familiar territory. This felt like drowning in a bonfire. I watched his face, and it flickered quickly from shock to contemplation to something indescribable.

I've realized why he annoys me so much. It's because I want him. It annoys me that I feel this way when we've only just met. He didn't refuse me. He told me what I conjured was 'most welcome'. But nothing happened either. UGH

I think I have everyone else pretty much figured out. I don't think Lae'zel has any secrets whatsoever. The Blade of Frontiers and Shadowheart still have their secrets of course, but the nature of their characters is clear to me. They would both be difficult to get close to, but for entirely different reasons. Wyll (he does have a real name after all) is all about the cause, the mission. He will entertain very little else. Still, he's courteous and kind which is more than I can say for the vast majority of people I've met. I trust him for the most part. Still think he has something serious going on, which I can't place full trust in anyone who has something that big to hide. Shadowheart is simply determined to keep everyone away from her, and she is rude and abrasive to accomplish that. I don't think I'll try anymore. Maybe she'll come around, or maybe she'll just be an asshole the entire journey. If that's the case we can hope it's a short one.

I'm pretty sure Astarion's only real secret was being a vampire spawn. He opened up to me about the situation he was in before the infection. His old master Cazador was so horrible to him that he'd actually take the devil's deal rather than go back. I don't know details but I don't need to. I could see it in his eyes. I wonder if he could tell just how well I understood. I feel as though I now know him best out of everyone, which is unexpected. He's fun, and I like him. He stole a book from the tiefling kids for me because he noticed I'd been collecting that particular series of books and hoped to find a full set. While it was sweet and all, I told him not to make a habit of stealing from children, but to feel free to steal whatever he can get away with from rich people, assholes, and monsters. He's treating me with what I believe to be equal parts placation, flirtation, and intimation. I understand that pattern of relating very well. It's what I've done to protect myself in the past too. I won't take him seriously unless I have cause or occasion to do so. It's fun to be flirted with by a beautiful man. So long as he doesn't cross any lines, I'll be fine. She says with little confidence. Anyway, when you're staring death in the face all the time and you're surrounded by other people who think little of you (some of whom are openly hostile towards you), hearing sweet words that make you feel special feels really nice. Even if they're lies.

I finally got sheet music thanks to Alfira. I can start writing out Act V! Maybe if I can bring myself to stop writing about my companions I'll be able to get this work done.

<<< Day 4 | Index | Day 6 >>>

#baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate oc #baldur's gate tav #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 tav #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate tav #bg3 spoilers #gale x tav #bg3 gale #bg3 astarion #tav #bg3 companions #bg3 wyll #bg3 lae'zel

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georgefairbrother · 1 year

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On February 3rd, 1960, British (Conservative) Prime Minister Harold Macmillan addressed the South African parliament in Cape Town, using the iconic phrase ‘wind of change’, that was blowing through the African continent as majority black nations moved toward decolonialisation and independence. He described this ‘growth of national consciousness’ as a political fact, whether welcome or not, and talked about the creation of a society which respects the rights of individuals;

"…A society in which individual merit, and individual merit alone, is the criterion for a man’s advancement, whether political or economic…"

Given the regime of Apartheid in South Africa at that time, it’s unsurprising that the speech received a frosty reception, although the South African Prime Minister, Hendrik Verwoerd, at least remained courteous, but argued;

"…We are the people who brought civilisation to Africa. To do justice in Africa means not only being just to the black man of Africa, but also to the white man of Africa…"

The BBC reported;

"…Mr Macmillan’s speech is the first time a senior international figure has given voice to the growing protest against South Africa’s laws of strict racial segregation. The speech was widely anticipated throughout the country, as Mr Macmillan had already said he would take the chance to say what he thought about the situation in South Africa. Even so, the plain-speaking nature of the speech took many in Cape Town by surprise…"

Harold Macmillan’s courageous speech was widely credited in expediting independence across Africa. It was also influential toward encouraging a more vocal opposition to Apartheid internationally, and by 1962, the UN had passed a non-binding resolution calling for an international trade and cultural boycott of South Africa.

The British government's resolve in terms of isolating South Africa proved to be a little fluid - at the inaugural Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting in 1971, the Heath government mightily annoyed African member states over proposed arms sales to South Africa in defiance of a voluntary UN embargo.

The sporting boycott was credited as being a major factor driving reform in South Africa, however this was lost on a number of professional cricketers who participated in highly lucrative rebel tours over several years. This is how long time anti Apartheid activist (Lord) Peter Hain described what would be a disastrous tour by a rebel England side, in early 1990, with Apartheid in its very last days;

"…This was on the cusp of a historic change in South Africa. So for Gatting and his tourists to go, clodhoppers and all, into this transformative moment was grotesque beyond belief. It was not surprising it caused such offence. The rebel tours were a doomed attempt to shore up the tottering apartheid system, when it needed to be isolated…"

More on rebel tours by Australia and England;

Literature circulating in South Africa during an earlier Australian rebel tour, stated;

"...The 8 million Rand that will be paid to 15 well nourished but greedy cricketers can buy bread for each and every day of an entire year for 250 000 South Africans – enough to save a quarter million from dying..."

#apartheid #harold macmillan #wind of change #social history #international politics #diplomacy #british commonwealth #british prime ministers #england cricket #sporting boycott

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thepuppeter000 · 6 months

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Part 1 - The old tales

CHAPTER ONE

For the longest time now, a house has been lying vacant, a white and blue FOR SALE sign plastered in the large front window. Nothing was wrong with this home, brand new plumbing, gorgeous interior, and unbelievably cheap compared to other house prices in the area.

It was the neiborhood that was the problem. Tales of spooks, monsters, and paranormal activity floated around the workspace, newspapers, and school gossip. Tales of werewolves in the forests, witches living in old cabins, and people claiming to have seen the dead moving on their own – much like a puppet.

So there the house lies on Fortcress Drive. However, one day when a group of high school students pass by the old house, there it is. A big, red, SOLD sign sitting in front of the torn old sign.

Who in their right mind would move here? The town of Roseview, Michigan has just been getting smaller and smaller sense the . . . incidents. The talk of paranormal activity only began 20 years ago, when a home burned down out of nowhere, and other house fires began unexpectedly.

Some say it’s all superstitions, old stories passed around for no other reason besides gossip to fill boredom. Others say they’re all nonsense, just fiction, as if anything hidden from the eye is not real. But others . . . others have been part of it.

* * *

“Maria, darling, get your nose out of that book and help us unload the car!” Harlie Malicent, Maria’s mom said. Ah Harlie, the living embodiment of ‘Live, Laugh, Love, Family’. Sometimes I wonder how she ever tricked a man into marriage. An attractive one too – not my cup of tea, but I can see how he’s fuckable.

“Mom, I-” Maria went to protest, but Harlie isn’t one to take no for an answer. “Nonono, no backtalk. Book down.” With a groan, Maria put down her book on the windowsill of the porch. Almost hitting her head on the hanging potted cherry tree. Vines sprawl out, pouring out of the sides. The way the vines are hanging . . . something is drawing Maria towards it - “Mama!” whined a little girl. Annoying as ever, she’ll probably grow up to be a pick-me cheerleader.

Liela Malicent. Just turned ten years of age – still as childish as a toddler. “Mama, where’s bubbles?” She asked. Ah, Bubbles. I almost forgot about him. The poor abused goldfish – well one of them at least. They have gone through seven in the past year, these stupid adults too stuck up to tell their daughter that her fish died.

“Oh, your father took him to the vet, he got sick.” Harlie said. Liela huffed and muttered, more like yelled, “I want to see him!” as she stormed inside. Just as the little brat went inside, Maria walked back out. “Bubbles?” She asked her mom and closed the door.

Harlie nodded, “Yeah sadly. I just can’t tell her that her fish died, you know how emotional she is!” Before Maria had a chance to answer, a car pulled up into the driveway. Liela ran back out squealing, “Papa’s home, Papa’s home!”

Then there he was, in all his glory! Jessie Malicent! Jessie is an attractive man with a fit shape. He’s what you’d think of as your typical attractive man. Fit body, great smile, and not bad on the eyes.

Jessie gets out of the car holding a pizza box, and a smaller box that sits up top with breadsticks. Liela doesn’t care that brat not caring if the pizza falls- and runs right up to Jessie and hugs him. “Hi, Papa!” She said happily.

“Hey there, Kiddo!” Jessie said and handed the pizza to Maria, “Can you set that inside dear?” He asked. Maria just nodded and grabbed the food, her book, and walked inside. She was close with her father, but after the day she had she wasn’t in the mood to chit-chat.

There was barely anywhere to set the pizza box. There were two folding chairs, both surrounded by boxes. Maria groaned under her breath and stumbled her way outside, and called out from the porch, “Hey Mama, Papa, could we eat outside?” It’s not like they had a choice – there was no room inside to even walk.

“Of course, dear, great idea!” Harlie agreed. Then before they knew it, the family was sitting on the stone porch and eating pizza, using gas station napkins as plates.

Maria had been mostly spaced-out reading, though when her mom said her name, it caught her attention quite well. “Oh, Maria! We know how you like reading and tend to be – antisocial – at times, but we signed you up to the school nearby!” Maria was shocked. She was social, but only with those she was close with. She had a tough time making friends but was rather enthusiastic when she had friends back at their old home.

“Mama-” Maria went to say but Harlie carried on. “And it is biking distance from here! Now listen, I know the school year has already started, but it was just a week or two! Just think, being a first-year high school student!” Jessie added, “New school, new home, new start!” “I think it’s-” Maria couldn’t get a single sentence in before her mom cut her off again. “This will be great, darling!”

Maria stood up, “I’m going to bed.” She said and walked inside without another word to her family. Maria shuffled around the boxes, grabbed her sleeping bag and went upstairs. Maria opened the vacant room which would soon be hers.

Laying out the sleeping bag, she spoke to herself. “I wanna go home...” Instead of laying down, she walked to the window. Maria was looking outside, her bedroom window having a full view of a forest. She could almost see what looked like the roof of a house . . . but there was no way that there would be a house all the way out there-right? It was darkening outside, so she wasn’t sure.

Sighing, Maria sat down on top of her sleeping bag. Despite trying, Maria suffered a restless night tossing and turning. And then before she knew it, it was Monday morning.

* * *

Ah, Autumn mornings in Michigan. It could be anywhere from 80°F to a literal blizzard. Though this morning was a special one, crisp air, leaves of orange and yellow dancing in the wind, absolutely gorgeous.

Maria hopped onto her bike and set off for school. Her mother texted her the address and she had Google Maps pulled up on her phone. Maria rode her bike through a quick shortcut. It looked like other people also used this, as there was a trail of tire marks from bikes indented in the ground of a forest. Though something caught her eye . . .

Looking to her left, Maria sees just what she thought she had seen yesterday. That old cabin . . . so it was there! Maria stared at it for a moment, gazing at little beams of light floating around it – she's just seeing things. Tiny light beams flying isn’t real.

Shaking her head, Maria put her hands back to her bike handles and continued back off towards school hell.

Maria stopped by the office and picked up her schedule. Looking at her electives, she wasn’t the happiest. Drama and Spanish. Maria knew Spanish before this, so why did she need to take classes on it?

Either way, it was better to get Drama than something crappy like ‘creative writing.’ Was Maria excited – no. Was she wanting to walk out of those doors and go home – yes. But she did the only thing people can do – suck it up and deal with it.

A few weeks went by, and Maria was slowly adjusting to her new life. She wasn’t happy about it, but she accepted it. Her life now was quite boring until one day she met some new friends – little did she know they would be the reason for her torture.

So, there she sat, bored as could be. Maria was in English, studying for math. Hey, gotta study sometime, right? Never mind, she was on her phone behind her textbook. Who really studies anymore?

“Hey there, new kid! Maria, right?” a boy asked suddenly. Maria was startled, jumping in her chair a little. Maria blankly stared at the boy for a moment before eventually saying, “Can I help you?”

The boy passed her a smile. He was . . . interesting . . . to say the least. He wore more casual clothing, with brightly colored pins flowing down his school lanyard. Pins of anime, music, and pride pins. Anymore and he would have sold out Hot Topic.

The boy said, “I’m Mark,” as he knelt beside her. “You don’t talk a lot, and I haven’t seen you hang around anyone, so I thought I'd come and say hello!”

Ah, the gay theatre kid – just the light of every classroom. Look – even if this kid didn’t look like a unicorn died on him, you could still tell he’s gay “What lunch period do you have?”

Maria shuffled through some papers and found her schedule, “I have A.” She spoke. “No way, so do I! I eat lunch with my friends, you should join us!”

Maria asked, “Why?” “Because, you look alone, and why not? I like to meet new people!” Mark answered. “So, is that a deal?” Maria let out a small sigh, “Alright.” She spoke. Aria now started to smile. No harm in making friends, right? Wrong.

Just a moment later, the bell had rung. Mark walked back over to his desk while Maria gathered her things and got her bag on. When Mark walked back over, he asked, “Ready?” With a nod from Maria, they were out.

The hallways were like your average high school hallway. A fight the next hall to their left, a straight couple about to fuck on the water fountain, and a teacher dress coding girls that look like they’re cosplaying clowns in lingerie.

Walking into the cafeteria was just as bad. The table of ‘straight’ guys jerking each other off under the table, the kids off to the side mixing chocolate milk with fruit cups, the ‘couple table’ - which the whole table is just the assortment of couples; you know – the ones that only last for a day? The ‘popular kids’ relationships!

Mark led Maria to a table of 3 others. Two girls and a guy – Maria recognized them from other classes she had. The girls were leaning against each other – clearly dating; no doubt. Though they didn’t over-do it like some people (AKA straight people).

The boy looked chilled out, casually reading. He was reading, ‘May the Best Man Win” by Zr Ellor. Maria recognized the book from the library in her old town but had never read it.

The boy looked up, his face had a small touch of pink as his eyes met Mark’s, “Oh, hey!” He spoke. “Hey! I brought someone, y’all mind if she hangs out?” “Go right ahead!” One of the girls said.

Taking a seat, Maria said, “I’m Maria.” With a slight smile. “I’m Jill!” The boy said, then looked to the girls, “That’s Caroline and Sara!” Caroline waved, followed by Sara. “It’s nice to meet you!” Caroline said. After a while of talking and eating, Jill said, “Hey, Maria! We planned on a sleepover tonight! What do you say? I can give you my address!”

Maria looked up from her food, “Sure!” she said, “That sounds great!”

#story to read #the puppeteer #original story #work in progress #original character

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ahmementos · 1 year

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Bedside Manner Nonexistent

Febuwhump Day 12 : "Can You Hear Me?"

“I don’t know if you can hear me.” The IVs and the beeping machines were annoying but they let him know Chris was still alive in there somewhere. “They said to talk to you… but I’m not sure the one liners are going to be a great sales pitch.”

Leon had long ago pulled up a chair to sit next to him. It had been at least a half hour before he could come up with words to say. Only seconds before he spoke did he even reach out to grasp Chris' limp hand and realized just how fragile he seemed lying there. This was the living, breathing semi-truck that ran roughshod on bioterror cells across the world. To see him reduced to a comatose state in a hospital bed was more sobering than the resident alcoholic cared for.

“I don’t even know why they think I’ve got some power to drag your ass back to the land of conscious thought.” Leon couldn’t look at the tubes running through Chris’ mouth so he focused on the hand in his grasp instead. “Like I, of all people, can magically come up with the right phrase to bring you back. I suck at hallmark shit.”

His thumb rubbed along the battered knuckles and he tried to be careful. He wasn’t sure what all damage was there or how long he still needed to heal. Claire told him it had been a cave in at the detonation site, a carefully laid trap.

“You got all the men out this time,” he finally decided to say. “No one died on your watch.”

It felt so empty to say to a man who may not come back to him.

“I’m not saying that so you can rest easy or something equally selfish, okay?” It felt like the thing to clarify. “Can you give me a clue here? Can you even hear me?”

Chris’ hand didn’t flex and there was no movement on his body. Leon hadn’t come up with the right words yet. He felt like he’d been given a test he couldn’t pass.

“I can’t do this without you.” It was said in a rush of breath, a secret that escaped when he exhaled. “I don’t know what anyone else said to try and motivate you but I’m telling you I can’t do any of this without you and if you die on me right now I’m going to lose my shit.”

It might have been a trick his mind decided to play on him, but Leon swore Chris’ finger twitched. Leon’s eyes widened as he stared down at Chris’ hand and willed it to move again, just to prove he wasn’t crazy. When nothing happened, he nodded solemnly.

“So you just got in my life and now it’s time to check out, huh?” He nodded again but he could feel his vision blurring and it pissed him off. “You made me give a shit about something. After all this time, you made me open up to someone and now you’re just gonna nope right out without a fight.”

There was no mistaking the curling of Chris’ index finger around his hand. It was weak and barely there, but he saw it that time. Leon tightened his grip on Chris’ fingers and drew in a ragged breath.

“Now you fucked up because I know you’re in there.” The sob might have had a laugh mixed in. “Now, you can’t die on me because…”

The words fell short. This was the part where he’d come up with a deflecting one-liner and he found his database of such things empty. All he had were tears as his hand held onto Chris’ like it was a lifeline.

“Don’t die on me.” It was a broken statement and his head falling on top of Chris’ hand muffled out the sobs that came as soon as it was out of his mouth.

#Chreon #Chris Redfield #Leon Kennedy #Resident Evil #Febuwhump #FebuwhumpDay12

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nightswithkookmin · 2 years

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normally i wouldnt say anything but……..did u even read namjoon’s letter he himself said they werent beating around the bush that what he said ”A” wasnt code for something ”B”. whatever they said was what they meant. if they say they dont want and they arent going to disband then maybe they mean it? why do you have to theorize about everything. also if they hated being in bangtan so much pretty sure they wouldnt have taken up offers for a schedule together 8 years from now

And who is saying theorizing they are disbanding or want to disband on this side of the blr??

Yall have started haven't you?

Yoongi explicitly said in that live " it's not like we are disbanding." So way to state the obvious.

They going solo which is what that dinner was about and all I'm saying out here is they went about it in poor taste. Can't I say that? And can't I believe they have no intention of disbanding and still believe their Solo stage news was handled poorly?? Is that too complex for you to wrap your head around?

They said what they said. They meant what they said. Yea. And I said what I said and meant what I said. THEY COULD HAVE HANDLED THIS BETTER.

Point to the map and show me where your confusion lie. Here's a pointor🔪

"If they hated being in bangtan so much" bla bla bla doesn't change the fact THAT IS HOW THEY CAME OFF AS. They came off to me, in my opinion, from my point of view, in my sight direction as people who couldn't wait to quit making OT7 music to start a solo career. Which is all I'm saying out here.

they did come off as too happy to put the OT7 schtick behind them which I find annoying and disappointing- Joonie also said some will be disappointed. Well I am one of them some. Disappointed as hell yet also happy that their solo journey has finally began.

And i know your problem is not with my opinion but with me as a person which tends to cloud your judgement very often and lead you to make pointless counter arguments such as this. Hate will get you no where.

Also

CAN I SHARE MY FRUSTRATION? CAN I SHARE MY DISAPPOINTMENT AND PROCESS?? SO ANNOYING WITH THAT SANCTIMONIOUS ATTITUDE.

"Normally I wouldn't say anything" should have listened to your conscience and shut up damn. Junped the gun huh.

At least Namjoon is perceptive and self aware on that to anticipate how some of us would feel. Gain some perspective please.

Love all 7. We are 7. How many times were they asked about their solo careers for them deflect and regurgitate that whole 0t7 shit rainbows unicorns.

Do you know the hate Jungkook recieved for daring to dream of a solo stage or wanting to try it out?? This grown ass man had to take back his words and clarify he didn't want to go solo when he talked about going solo.

Do you know how many solos and innocent people OT7s have terrorized abused tormented deplatformed just for supporting this idea of a solo career prior to all of this??

And it's the same BTS who by their words and actions fueled these ot7 nutheads and made them so rabid and intolerant of individual stans. Until their dinner, being a solo stan was a slur in this fandom and Im sure people like you even speculated I was a solo to get people to hate me. Yet you are gonna waltz in here with no depth whatsoever and act like it's not a fucking big deal. You are nuts.

It's the disconnect for me. Lmho.

You Hybe and BTS are all disconnected and out of touch with reality.

And whether you think they handled this news poorly or not, there is a plummeting stock sales chart out there which is an opinion on how that vlive went.

Don't just take my frustrations for it. At least my emotions are subjective but numbers don't lie now do they??

if your point here is that BTS love BTS as a band i agree. They should love the band that's given their solo careers a head start. BTS is where it all started for them. So I agree no debate over that.

If your point is BTS still love and want to make music as a group going forward in the here and now I think you need to watch that Vlive again. Because Namjoon does sound like he's done there. Has nothing to write for the group and is exhausted. He said what he said. He didn't beat around the bush about that.

Now can i grieve over that?? But really I don't need your permission at all. Shit.

BTS love their group but they don't want to carry on making music as a group for now sums it up for me. If they meant something else to you I'm all ears. Enlighten me.

GOLDY

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ben-wisehart · 2 years

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I posted 1,400 times in 2022

35 posts created (3%)

1,365 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thedoggoesed-ward

@cactus-juice-for-sale

@aquietquixotic

@seaflying-fliptuna

@peachdoxie

I tagged 392 of my posts in 2022

#svsss - 65 posts

#bingqiu - 46 posts

#svsss meta - 14 posts

#shen qingqiu - 13 posts

#luo binghe - 9 posts

#tiktok - 9 posts

#mdzs - 9 posts

#meta - 5 posts

#wangxian - 5 posts

#shen yuan - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#just in case anyone starts to think i have interesting and thought provoking opinions…my inner monologue is 90% ‘haha bingqiu soulmates🥰’

My Top Posts in 2022:

1/2) Regarding the bingqiu-bingjiu thing on twitter today, I don't know how to put this but such discussions seem to prompt a downplaying of sy's worth re the svsss world. I'm not saying that was the op's intention and indeed you and many other commenters had brought up such interesting points, but I saw takes from certain character stans as well that rubbed me the wrong way- bingqiu (or any ship with sy) won't happen without sj, sy has no separate identity of his own from sj. ..

2/2) ...he is just seen as an extension of sj by other characters, he is just a privileged young man who got handed sj's hard earned life and is kind only cuz he didn't go through shit like sj... Maybe it's just my sy|sqq bias speaking but such discourse bothers me fsr..

the twitter threads in question:

https://twitter.com/ShanBlackRX_alt/status/1506618891556077570

https://twitter.com/bobby_speeds/status/1506984146794528773

https://twitter.com/bobby_speeds/status/1507009062135005185

sorry I put off answering this! It's been a busy week, etc. etc. anyway

Yeah, I know what you mean. Like.

Listen. I'm obviously a very outspoken SY fan, and I will readily admit that I can't be unbiased when forming opinions about him. He's my favourite character and I utterly adore him, so seeing people ignore him or outright drag him down to elevate SJ annoys me a lot. but. I'll try to break down exactly what bothers me about people saying SY "got handed SJ's hard-earned life and is kind only because he didn't go through the same hardships"

Firstly, Shen Yuan was literally ripped away from his family and the only life he'd ever known!! Just because he plays it cool and tries to make the most of his situation doesn't mean he's happy about dying! Most transmigration or isekai stories (the ones that I've read, at least) explicitly have the MC either come from a life where they didn't have much in the way of family or close attachments, so the loss of their original life isn't as big of a deal, OR their feelings about losing their old life is a source of tension in the story that gets brought up and focused on.

In Shen Yuan's case, he explicitly comes from a nice family who was very close. SY himself might have been unambitious and felt like he was wasting his life, and sure, we'll never know the exact nuances of his relationships with each of his family members, but there's nothing to suggest he didn't love them. His sister in particular he's described as having doted on.

And yet, they're almost never mentioned again. SQQ finds out he's died and just goes "Well, I've been granted a second chance here, I might as well make the most of it" and just...goes on. This straight up never gets explicitly addressed in canon, and it's not because he doesn't care. It's because he can't. He doesn't have anyone with whom he can talk about this loss. He died and was thrown straight into a world that was constantly reminding him that if he didn't satisfy the System, it would KILL him, and if he DID satisfy the System, there was a very good chance he would get horrifically mutilated by the person he was rapidly growing to care for more and more each day. I've talked about this a bit more on twitter here if anyone is interested.

I probably sound like a broken record at this point but I have to keep saying it: SHEN YUAN SPENT SIX YEARS (excluding the 5 he wasn't conscious for) WITH THE CONSTANT THREAT OF EITHER DEATH OR MUTILATION HANGING OVER HIS HEAD. And that IS a traumatising event. So was losing his old life and not getting a chance to process or mourn it. So was being forced to push Binghe into the Abyss (yes, it was traumatising for SQQ specifically, as well as Binghe!!). So was being forced to send Binghe to fight Elder Sky Hammer and all the million other tiny things that he would never have had to do if he'd had complete control over the new life he'd been given.

Like, look at his treatment of Binghe when he comes out of the Abyss. He's terrified. He's spent so much time afraid of Bingge, afraid of what his return will mean for him, that he can't even bring himself to look at the real man who is before him and see the very real differences he has made. He can't afford to, because he's been living with his fear for so long and he knows that one wrong move could be the end of him.

That time Meng Mo puts him into a deep dream where he experiences Shen Jiu's fate, SQQ is so shaken that he can't even look at Binghe afterwards! Compare that with later, after the punishment program, when he literally HAS experienced the fate that he's been threatened with for years, but instead when he gets out all he wants is to see his own Binghe again to make himself feel better, because he desperately wants to forget the image of the man he loves taking pleasure in torturing him. God. FUCK. I CANNOT be normal about this.

Shen Yuan was a VICTIM. That's what it comes down to. Saying he was privileged and was only kind because he never had to suffer like Shen Jiu did is SUCH a bad faith take. Did Shen Jiu have it worse? I mean...sure, yeah. Certainly, he was traumatised during his formative years when the trauma it would have a bigger impact in shaping his personality. But do we really have to do the "oppression olympics" speech in a novel aimed at adults?

And like. Okay. "He got handed SJ's hard earned life". Let's unpack that, because it's not like "Shen Yuan didn't ask for Shen Jiu's life" and "Shen Yuan benefitted from Shen Jiu's death" are statements that can't coexist. Shen Yuan didn't just get pulled into PIDW because he badmouthed the author, he got pulled in because he died and if he hadn't transmigrated he would have simply stayed dead. Even if you ignore all the trauma he faced in his new life, and all the legwork he himself had to do to get the happy ending he eventually gets with Binghe, I can hardly deny that he was better off in the long run than if he hadn't been given SJ's life.

But here's the thing. Shen Yuan wasn't really "given" SJ's hard-earned life. He wasn't given that life at all. If Shen Yuan had woken up in Shen Jiu's body with no System and complete free-reign over his new life, I would agree with this sentiment, but he wasn't. He was being used by the System with no regard to his own wellbeing.

Seriously, ALL the bad things that SY does as SQQ are the result of the System, either by having his hand directly forced on fear of death, or because he's under extreme pressure and in a position he would never have been in if he'd been in control from the beginning. If Shen Yuan had simply transmigrated into SQQ with total free will, he would have lived a happy, peaceful life of spoiling his disciples rotten and that would have been that. Maybe something would have come up later with regards to Binghe's heritage, maybe there would have been some other conflict from TLJ or the OPM, but the main thing is that SQQ would would have never betrayed Binghe and therefore wouldn't do any of the things he did in canon to push him away out of fear. However their lives would have ended up, I think most of us can agree that they would have only faced a fraction of the trauma they did in canon, if any.

That's why it's impossible to compare SY and SJ on equal footing. It's true that some of the things SJ did (killing LQG and making a move on NYY) were misunderstandings, but ultimately, SJ abused Binghe because he chose to. All of his actions were done of his own volition. Nobody forced him to pour tea on an innocent boy who'd just lost his mother and was desperate to please him. Nobody forced him to make a 15 year old fight a demon. Nobody forced him to give Binghe a fake cultivation manual that would have led a normal person to a dangerous qi deviation. Nobody forced him to push Binghe into the Endless Abyss.

The reason it's unfair to say SY "stole" SJ's life is because we've seen the life that SY stole. We already know* how it would have ended. It's not open to interpretation. PIDW explicitly ends with Bingge taking everything from SJ; his home, the life he'd built, his freedom, his childhood friend, and finally his limbs. The world was broken, with countless people dead or otherwise hurt who weren't so in the SV timeline. If SY's presence was what prevented all of that, then...I'm sorry, but I do think SY deserved that life more.

*One person in the comments of the above twitter threads did make an interesting point that SQQ wasn't the only variable that changed in SVSSS compared to PIDW, and that SQH's warning to be careful when saving LQG might have led to a different outcome for SQQ even if SY hadn't transmigrated. I think this is worth bringing up, and I'd honestly love to know exactly how PIDW would have played out if LQG had still been alive, but ultimately, even if SJ had succeeded in saving LQG, I'm just not convinced his ending would have been that different. I think SJ would have been too proud to admit he was the one who saved him and LQG would never have known. They wouldn't have become friends like LQG and SY did, and LBH's personal resolve for vengeance (the main driver in SJ's eventual fate) would not have been affected by this change.

Anyway yeah TL;DR SY's presence improved almost every aspect of the PIDW world for the better (RIP Qin Wanrong, Gongyi Xiao and Zhuzhi-Lang) despite the fact that he never asked to be there and had a force far more powerful than himself trying its damnedest to make him hurt someone he cared about. Sometimes he failed to find the best possible solution to the problems he was faced with, but he still tried his best to work around the limitations placed on him and in the end, I would say he did a pretty good job of it! Maybe even a Better job than the man who was in the exact same position as him but WITHOUT an omnipotent being monitoring his every move and threatening to kill him if he didn't Try To Kill A Child?? who can say for sure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And to be fair, I think a lot of Shen Jiu fans would agree with this? Like I don't think it's really a debate that Shen Yuan is an objectively better person than Shen Jiu, it's just that some fans find Shen Jiu a more interesting character to read and write about, which is not my own experience but to each their own! I might prefer SY but I still agree that SJ is a compelling character and I can for sure see why he's a popular character to blorbofy. It only annoys me when people try to drag SY down to his level, or downplay the fact that Shen Jiu is still very much a child abuser who showed absolutely no remorse when asked if he thought his abuse might have been the reason Binghe grew up to be a tyrant.

Thanks for the questions and sorry about the length!! I just hear a question about SQQ and my brain goes brrrr

156 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Hi! I LOVE your SVSSS meta, it's always so well thought out<3 At the very bottom of your BingQiu meta post you mention that LBH is gay. I had interpreted his sexuality in SV as like, he could be attracted to anyone (evidenced by his huge harem in PIDW) but after falling for SQQ, he wasn't interested in anyone else. What leads you to believe that LBH is gay and not bi or pan? (I don't have a strong opinion either way, I'm just interested in hearing your take if you feel like talking about it!)

the post anon is referring to

Oh man I've had this one stewing in my brain for days. I DEFINITELY feel like talking about it.

So here's my obligatory disclaimer that media should be enjoyable first and foremost, and if someone reading this enjoys seeing Binghe as bi or pan, I think you should continue to do so regardless of whether or not it's supported by canon.

To be honest, while I don't read either Luo Binghe or Shen Qingqiu as mspec, I'd probably have an easier time believing it of Binghe than SQQ. SQQ's feelings and attitudes toward women come across very much like your pretty stock-standard compulsory heterosexuality; he talks a lot about how he's straight and wants a girlfriend, but try to name one single woman he's actually attracted to and you come up short. In practice, he's constantly making excuses why any given woman who crosses his mind isn't suitable for him: usually it's "they belong to the protagonist" or maybe "she's too intimidating", and he never seems to realise that these things...don't actually preclude him from finding them attractive.

To Shen Qingqiu, simply not being attracted to a woman is very easy and he genuinely doesn't realise that that isn't normal for straight guys. It's why he finds it so confusing why so many people like PIDW despite all the terrible sex scenes. Even when Madam Meiyin (a woman whose predictions he's just described as infallible) is describing his literal destined partner, he tries to picture a woman who fits that description and immediately dismisses the prediction out of hand because she's unrealistic and would obviously go to Binghe anyway.

I think it's really telling that his favourite female lead in PIDW was Liu Mingyan—the only one who never got sex scenes with the character he was actually attracted to. Like. Seriously. His favourite wife was the one he never had to read having straight sex with Binghe. The lack of sex scenes gave her room to breathe and grow as her own character; Shen Yuan talks about how he thinks she should get "pushed down" but I'm willing to bet that if that had actually happened and she'd ended up in the same ridiculous sex scenarios as the other wives, his fondness for her as a character would have mysteriously dried up.

I don't think I have a specific moment I can refer to for this, but you also just...get the impression that even though Binghe is obviously the person SQQ finds most attractive, he's still capable of finding other guys hot. With Liu Qingge in particular Shen Qingqiu spends a hilarious amount of time fixating on what a Pretty Boy(TM) he is compared to how the PIDW fandom liked to portray him. Tianlang-Jun, Gongyi Xiao...even Shang Qinghua he describes as "handsome with an air of sleaziness" in his first appearance. I'm not saying SQQ wants to bone each of these guys, but it does make you kind of feel like a man's general attractiveness is something he takes note of. He does also describe female characters as pretty, so there's an element of it that's just...the POV character relaying the other characters' appearances to the audience, but with the female characters he's usually describing them as they appeared in PIDW, and I sincerely doubt PIDW ever took much time to establish that any given male character was nice to look at.

Anyway. I'm digressing.

As for Binghe...

God, even when I'm trying to talk about Binghe I'm talking about Shen Qingqiu, aren't I??😔

The problem with Binghe, I think, is that he fixates so heavily on Shen Qingqiu to the point of obsession. Like, sure, it's hard to imagine Binghe (as we know him in SVSSS) being attracted to a woman, but it's equally hard to imagine him being attracted to a man that isn't Shen Qingqiu. He just has such singular focus on the person he's fallen for that you might just as well label him "shizunsexual" as anything else.

So if you heard that he married a man in one timeline and a bunch of women in another, and took this information in isolation, you probably could conclude that Binghe is a bi/pan dude who just got really invested in one specific person to an extent that it permanently blinded him to anyone else he might have otherwise shown an interest in, and that this one specific person just happened to be a man.

However, I do think it was MXTX's intention for Binghe to be specifically read as gay, and not just because she's a BL author with a fondness for making her romantic leads only ever have feelings for one single person (and by extension, one gender) in their lives. The Bing-ge extra just doesn't make sense to me if Bing-ge was genuinely attracted to women. And the story overall, I think, makes more sense when that's not the case as well.

Firstly, I want to emphasise that Airplane didn't originally plan for Binghe to be gay. This is a common misconception that I think stems from his teasing remarks to SQQ in the last chapter. In truth, his original plan was for Binghe to not have a love interest. Binghe was supposed to be a tragic protagonist destined to die alone and unloved. Airplane might have added all the wives in for fanservice, and it's obvious that he thinks he's been writing a straight character since he seems genuinely shocked and even upset(??) when he finds out Binghe is gay in real life, but...at the story's core, Binghe having a loving, positive relationship with someone who meets his emotional needs was not part of the plan at any point.

I want to pull up a quote that I think is incredibly telling. This is how Shen Qingqiu describes the scene in PIDW in which Binghe loses his virginity:

The girl thought, "Since I'm about to die, I must leave behind some memories to ensure that my life won't have been in vain. I don't have many days left, after all, so I won't suppress my feelings anymore."

Then, using her weak and fragile body, she pushed Luo Binghe down.

Luo Binghe put up a brief show of resistance before telling himself "She did it all for my sake. I don't have the heart to reject her final wish." He yielded, still half-reluctant, and went along with it...

(Vol 1 Page 143 of the official translation)

Which is just...utterly tragic. I do want to be clear that it's perfectly normal for men to not actually want sex all the time, even with the gender that they're attracted to. Even if Binghe were totally straight it wouldn't be weird that he didn't want to have sex with Qin Wanyue in a life-or-death scenario like the one above. This scene on its own isn't proof that Binghe doesn't like women, but I think it does show that Bing-ge didn't start out chasing women indiscriminately; his very first time was being pressured into it.

Here's the thing. Bing-ge had no positive male figures in his life, especially when he was young. All the men he encountered were indifferent to him at best or outright cruel at worst. He spent his formative years alone with no permanent caregiver. The Meng Mo arc suggests he was on his own until the age of four or five, and that he was regularly beaten on the streets, usually by men. Once his mother took him in, she became his safety and his shelter; it was the two of them against the world. When he loses her, he resolves to join a cultivation clan to get stronger, and is immediately chosen by a graceful and talented immortal—his dream! For the first time, little Luo Binghe allows himself to believe there's going to be somebody else in his life who will protect and mentor him—but then the harsh reality is dumped on his head and he's alone again. His new Shizun punishes him harshly and encourages others to bully him. His shixiongs are only too happy to oblige. His sect leader turns a blind eye to his abuse.

But Ning Yingying...Ning Yingying is naive and a bit tactless and sometimes her interference causes him more problems than it solves, but she's well meaning, she seems to like having him around, and she's the only person who will stand up for him despite everyone telling her not to. In PIDW, she was the person he trusted the most during his time at Qing Jing Peak. Admittedly not a very high bar, but he has a friend. And then the others. Liu Mingyan, Sha Hualing, Qin Wanyue, the Little Palace Mistress...these are people who make him feel wanted. Needed.

It's a really interesting and frankly tragic mirror to Shen Jiu, who was also abused by men and for whom women became his safety. It's also interesting in the ways that they differ. He goes to brothels to sleep so he won't be around men, but there's nothing to suggest Shen Jiu actually turned to having sex with women for comfort in the way that Binghe did. Shen Jiu closes himself off completely from forming relationships with other people, even superficial ones, while Binghe can't seem to stop forming new connections, even if they never manage to satisfy him in the way he really wants.

I think the members of the harem have varying levels of genuine care and love for Binghe. Unfortunately we don’t have the benefit of their POV and we only have brief allusions to what their individual relationships with Binghe were like in PIDW. Breaking down my exact thoughts on each wife would make this essay even more bloated than it already is and wouldn’t add much overall, but in general, I do think most of them were at least physically attracted to him. Some may have married him for political or social advantages, especially once he started to amass power and…eliminate their other options. Some might have wanted the safety and protection that came with being the Saintly Ruler’s wife. I think a good chunk of them were, consciously or not, using him in some way—but Bing-ge is so desperate for human connection (or at least a parody of it) that he doesn’t really care, especially as he spends more and more time using Xin Mo. If he's being taken advantage of, it’s not like he doesn’t have the resources to support it.

But there must have been women in the harem who genuinely loved him, who wished they could be more to him than just an interchangeable face in the crowd. There must have been women whose personalities meshed well with his. Women who earned his trust and his loyalty. Women whom, if Binghe were somebody with the capacity to have romantic feelings towards women, he would have fallen in love with.

And yet, all it took was a few days with Shen Qingqiu to change everything.

Now, I don’t think Bing-ge in the extra was gearing up to give up his harem unprompted. He wanted SQQ to come back with him. I do think that if Bingmei had simply never returned and provided a way back, Bing-ge wouldn’t have regretted the loss, and I also think that if SQQ had gone back with him to join the harem, Bing-ge would have never looked at another woman in his life, but these things aren’t outright stated in canon so I can’t in good conscience present them as indisputable fact. The fandom is pretty consistent on the belief that Bing-ge goes home with his worldview shaken and develops an obsession with SY, and I think that too, but the fact remains that we will never really know for sure how he moves on from that experience. I'm pointing all this out because I really do want to give mspec Binghe as much benefit of the doubt as I possibly can.

But god…I really just don’t see how it’s possible to read the Bingge vs Bingmei extras without coming to the conclusion that Bing-ge is a gay man who is experiencing a genuine positive connection with another man for the first time in his life. He’s hostile and standoffish when he doesn’t know what’s going on, but as soon as he understands the situation, he melts. He looks at Shen Qingqiu like he’s seeing him for the first time. He starts calling his name just because he can, because he likes hearing SQQ respond to him. He becomes drunk on it, unable to stop. He offers to cuddle him to sleep. For somebody who has never had intimate relations with a man before, he doesn’t even hesitate to start seducing him once he understands the situation. Everything is just perfect—right up until SQQ sees through his deception and the facade crumbles.

I don’t think Bing-ge knew he was gay before this point. How would he? Who could possibly have been a focal point for these feelings? The only male friendship we know he had was with Mobei-Jun, and even though Mobei-Jun is also a MLM, he’s not exactly Binghe’s type and they just don’t have the kind of dynamic Binghe needs in a relationship. He’s spent his entire life being the strong one, the one who saves the maiden, the one who carries the weight of the world on his back. So the relationship he truly craves, even if he doesn’t realise it, is one where he gets to be doted on and cared for. Where he gets his hair braided.

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226 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

im finally reading tgcf

381 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

518 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Lowkey amused when fic writers make lwj complain about or otherwise express discomfort over eating wwx’s spicy food as if wwx didn’t fully believe right up until the fucking yi city arc that lwj loved spice. that motherfucker would have gone to his grave without ever letting wwx know that their palates were completely incompatible. In an AU where the juniors never got corpse poisoning Wwx surprises his husband one night when he gets home from training like “Lan Zhan, I made you some spicy pork and noodles 🥰🥰🥰 you’re always doing the cooking so tonight I wanted to treat you🥰🥰🥰have as much as you like!🥰🥰🥰are you excited?!” and lan wangji just gives him the sweetest smile ever to grace the face of a mortal man and goes “mn” and sits down and proceeds to eat what is essentially just a bowl of straight chilli oil without losing his composure once

842 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post tw

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