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prettyboykatsuki · 4 months

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wyll, in my opinion, gets the standard fare treatment for characters that are unequivocally good. i.e. people think he's boring and uninteresting. standard fare might be kind actually given the level of racism and unexplained slander (which is often just more thinly veiled racism). his reputation about being boring is not helped by the very blatant neglect of his storyline post his rewrite and release. as a wyll enjoyer i am hyperaware of the sorry state of his current story in all three acts

despite all of that and the glaring flaws - i still believe that wylls storyline is worth of being engaged with and explored.

one of the reasons (not the most major one, but one) i think wyll experiences so much neglect as a companion stems from a wider idea that "goodness" is always the uncomplicated, easy choice.

it's something i see a lot. wyll is boring because of his archetype as a princely and universally righteous guy. and this is interesting, because it always seems to functions under the assumption that wylls moral character is innate. that his heroic and righteous actions are in some capacity, uncomplicated.

uniquely among the male origin companions, through the course of wylls story - there is never a point in which he is at risk of making a truly 'bad' choice. both gale and astarions story have them at risk of making choices that are ultimately bad for them and others (especially tav when each character is romanced). gales godhood and astarions ascension are their in game moral failings. they are the result of having not broke the cycle and are 'bad' choices for the individual character.

wylls main choice is however his pact and the choice to break that pact. notably - wyll is never at risk of making a bad choice, only a selfish one.

from the critique i see of wyll - it seems like this is the element of him people find most egregious. he's too smooth, not rugged enough, not gritty enough. but i don't think wyll's character needs grit, necessarily.

if you take any time to dissect wyll at all, based on dialogue and character interaction, many of his choices put himself at the forefront of sacrifice. the game strips wyll of a lot of agency, but wyll also always abides by and sticks to his core belief. so often towards his own detriment.

not only does wyll bear the consequence of being turned into a devil (stripping him of the last remaining shred of identity he's ever had and one of the most important things in his life), he bore the burden of being banished when he made his pact, and was willing to do the same for the sake of his father when he is taken to moonrise.

and unlike gale (who i adore, to be clear) who's concept of self-sacrifice stems mostly from a low self-worth - the belief that dying is the best he can do - wyll truly views that it's better him than them.

wyll does not think twice about allowing himself to be the one to take the fall. he can play any part, take any role, even when these choices haunt him so obviously. wyll claims that he forgives his father, but opens up to you about fearing his feelings of missing him are one-sided. he believes that making his pact was the right choice, the one he would make again - but doesn't deny the obvious pain and solace that came along with being a wandering traveler and banished son.

wylls goodness is so deliberate. he is so staunch in upholding and acting on his beliefs that it is always narrative to his own detriment. when you view wyll like this , and view his choices with regards this character attribute, it is imo very hard to hate him.

wyll's goodness is his double edged sword. it makes him heroic, brave, fearless. and it makes him scared, uncertain and lonely. again, the story itself is bare bones and i understand that - but it is so very beautiful to me thinking of him and tav or just his general romance.

as wylls romance partner, encouraging wyll to break his pact is as tragic as it very beautiful. tav is wylls one selfish thing. one of the only reasons that would move him to not give himself up. one of the only reasons he is okay with forgoing his beliefs. he loves tav enough to break his own oaths, and make choices for himself and no one else. not as the blade, or as a ravengard - but just as wyll.

and that aspect of him is in my opinion, enforced, by the mindflayer tav ending. in which wylls monster-hunting and morals are made exceptions with / for tav. my enjoyment of hero corruption might be speaking for me, but i digress.

in every way though - i truly love wyll as a character. and while im well aware of the critical flaws in his in game story state, i think it's both unfortunate and unfair that people call him boring. to me he is anything but

#aristotle.txt #wyll ravengard #bg3 #wyll meta #bg3 wyll #wyll x tav #he is so love of my life coded #this is my experience as a deku defending and lover speaking for me i fear

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anneapocalypse · 1 year

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Demands of the Qun, or How the Inquisitor's Choice Answers the Iron Bull's Most Important Question

I was having a chat about the Iron Bull and his personal quest with some friends and one person said in response to something I said that I should make it a Post, so here it is! And a usual disclaimer: this is not about which in-game decision is "correct"--it's an RPG, there's no wrong way to play the game. I just want to talk about the meaning of this decision for Bull's character and for his future.

Dragon Age: Inquisition’s “Demands of the Qun” is, for me, one of those quests where the RPG format of “player character makes major decision for companion character” really works. I do not see this as an example of game mechanics taking away agency from an NPC. I think Bull has agency in this situation.

The Chargers are not Inquisition soldiers. They are mercenaries, and Bull is their commander. If the Inquisitor makes a call he doesn't like, he is free to say "Screw you" and take his people and leave, because they are not soldiers, they're independent contractors, so leaving isn't desertion, it's just quitting. If he were already certain he wanted to leave the Qun, he could simply call the retreat himself, take the Chargers and leave. Similarly if he were certain of his loyalties and willing to sacrifice the Chargers for that purpose, he could do that, regardless of what the Inquisitor says.

He lets the Inquisitor make this choice.

The Iron Bull has had one foot out the door of the Qun for a long time now. But he's gone back and gone back, submitted himself for re-education and done his best to keep serving the Qun, because he believes he needs the Qun. To him, becoming Tal-Vashoth means losing himself, his identity, his purpose, his very sanity, and as the Fade tells us in "Here Lies the Abyss," this is quite literally his greatest fear. Bull could never bring himself to leave the Qun with nowhere to go instead, nothing to give his life purpose and meaning—and no one to entrust himself to should he doubt his own sanity.

But in his work in the south, the Iron Bull has found community and identity and purpose outside the Qun. The very name he has given himself speaks to that, as does his close relationship to the Chargers.

Right from the beginning, there is tension in "Demands of the Qun." Bull remarks that he's gotten used to the Qunari being "over there" during his life in the south. I think Bull has a very potent anxiety when he meets Gatt again on the Storm Coast, and introduces him to the Inquisitor and their party. To me, it very much has the vibes of introducing two friend groups, where you're not only pretty sure they won't get along, but you're also very aware that they know very different sides of you—and neither of them are going to like seeing the other side. Bull's discomfort is visible both when Gatt speaks freely about Bull's work in the Ben-Hassrath, and when the Inquisitor's other companions make disparaging remarks about the Qun. His two worlds have collided, calling into conflict two sides of his sense of self that he has thus far managed to avoid confronting.

And this is likely part of the point. The Qun does not truly respect alliances with any outside the Qun. I wouldn't say for sure that the Qunari set up this whole situation just to test Bull—it's possible they knew exactly how many Venatori would show up, but they couldn't have known precisely how the Inquisition would respond. That, and their desire to root out the Venatori is no doubt sincere. But I do think they are watching Bull's actions very closely throughout this proposed alliance, gauging his loyalty. Gatt tells him outright that many already believe he has betrayed the Qun.

Bull's internal conflict quickly becomes an external one when the Venatori reinforcements show up, and Bull is faced with the decision of whether to withdraw the Chargers or defend the dreadnought at the cost of their lives.

The thing is, Bull is not neutral on this. He tells the Inquisitor what he wants. He wants to save the Chargers. If the Inquisitor says that the Chargers still have time to retreat, Bull agrees. When Gatt tells him they need to hold position, he says in a low, intense tone, "They're my men."

And then, when Gatt tells him in no uncertain terms that calling the retreat will make him Tal-Vashoth, the Iron Bull looks to the Inquisitor.

Again, he is not neutral. He knows what he wants. He is standing there basically begging the Inquisitor with his eyes to save his boys.

So why doesn't he just make the call himself?

Because just as this whole situation is in part a test of Bull's loyalty, this is also a test of the Inquisitor.

What Bull needs to leave the Qun is not simply for someone else to make the choice for him, but to believe that there is a future for him outside the Qun. That he will still be himself, that he will have purpose, and meaning, and that someone else is worth trusting. Bull cannot bring himself to leave the Qun if it means he will be left utterly alone with nothing but his own mind and his deepest fears. And if that's what leaving the Qun means… then in his mind, it would be better to stay.

The Inquisitor's choice will answer that question.

To sacrifice the Chargers leaves Bull with nothing outside of the Qun. He has just watched his closest friends die, and he cannot trust the Inquisitor. With Krem and Rocky and Skinner and Stitches and Dalish and Grim, the new sense of self that the Iron Bull has found in the south also dies.

Of course he turns back to the Qun. He has nothing else left.

But if it's the Inquisitor who makes the call to save the Chargers… Bull can leave. He has friends who care about him. He has purpose. He has someone whose command he can trust. He has hope. None of this makes the choice easy for him. It is quite clearly very painful and difficult, and I don't think there's any way it could be otherwise. But he has a way forward nonetheless. The choice makes leaving possible.

The Inquisitor doesn't force the Iron Bull to become Tal-Vashoth. Instead, Bull implicitly asks a question, and the Inquisitor by their choice gives him an answer.

#the iron bull #iron bull #demands of the qun #dragon age inquisition #dragon age meta #dragon age #blunders of thedas

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adelrambles · 5 months

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Tips on Writing Bishop

I've been asked a couple times for advice on how to write a good (03-style) Bishop, and I'm well-aware he can be a bit tough to get a grasp on. As someone who's studied him specifically to learn how to write him as accurately as possible, I figured I'd compile some thoughts in case it'd be helpful to anyone else. I know a lot of Rise takes on him are basing off the 03 version, so maybe this could help generate ideas, too. SO!

Big Overall Points!

At the core of EVERYTHING Bishop does are two primary motivations. The first: the protection of the earth. What this means to him can get tricky, because it doesn't necessarily mean protecting the people, at least not all of them. But it will be better understood alongside the other:

The second: The protection of his sense of safety. Bishop has been deeply traumatized, and everything he does is born of a want to avoid that pain ever again. In his mind, earth is a safe area, a controllable factor, and anything outside it is a danger that must be eliminated. This is why he will still be willing to put himself and other people on the line in service of this; any sacrifice is worth the greater goal. (It's worth noting, Bishop will claim the first as his motivation freely, but is likely not consciously aware of the second.)

Bishop deals in Big Picture ONLY. Another reason Bishop will willingly throw away anything, including the lives of the people he claims to protect, is that he seems incapable of understanding things on a small, individual basis.

Bishop is a cold personality. He does not have strong displays of emotion. He does emote, but for the most part it's muted, so I recommend using emotional bursts very sparingly. (In my own writing, as an example, I try to limit my use of exclamation marks in his dialogue as much as possible.)

At his core, Bishop is afraid, and his response to fear is aggression. This also makes it particularly difficult to talk him down, if he's put in an emotional state. His response to not being in control is often violent retaliation.

With those basic tenants understood, let's move next to some major personality traits:

Bishop is a controlling personality. This is a direct result of his trauma response. Things that can be controlled are safe, therefore he must control everything. If something cannot be controlled, it's a threat that must be eliminated. If he doesn't know why something happened, he becomes angry (including even when it benefits him.)

Bishop is very low-empathy. When writing him, I try to keep in mind that he cannot put himself in the perspective of others. (Or if he can, he doesn't care to.)

Bishop is a sadist. He gets personal enjoyment from hurting others.

Bishop likes fighting, but only when he's winning. He will quickly leave if he can't see a guaranteed victory.

Bishop is paranoid. This is probably self-evident, but it's the reason he's often so well-prepared even when things don't go to plan.

Bishop genuinely seems to enjoy science. He's shown to be far more lenient with scientist characters than anyone else, and he seems to involve himself in his scientists' projects to a degree. Enough to, at the very least, understand their work. (Given he was the one set to dissect the turtles, it might also be argued he has some medical or biology background, himself.)

Bishop is an opportunist and scavenger. He can roll with failures as long as he can find something to get out of it. If he's presented with an opportunity to stab someone in the back, and he has something to gain? He'll take it without a second thought.

Bishop is deeply self-blind. For all his perceptiveness and strategic prowess, Bishop is not very self-aware in the slightest. He is completely blind to his own hypocrisies, and thoroughly confident in his own righteousness.

Bishop adapts fast. He accepts situations for what they are and acts (Though he may still be angry about them, or what have you.) This is likely a skill developed via longevity; the world around him has changed rapidly, but he doesn't feel out of place at all.

Bishop will take extreme risks and thinks wildly outside the box. Also self-evident, if you're familiar with the plans he enacts throughout the show. He'll put a lot on the line if he thinks the reward is worth enough, and he's willing to go to extreme lengths to get what he wants, even if his plans would be considered crazy by normal standards.

Bishop is persistent. If he wants something, he won't stop until he gets it. If he fails, he'll retreat, make a new plan, and try again. It is very difficult to convince him to back down (and certainly not on moral grounds.)

Habits and triggers I've noted:

Being restrained of any sort puts Bishop in a panic. He is more likely to have an emotional response in these scenarios, and seems to have (an albeit muted) desperation to escape. (See: Leatherhead restraining him in the first encounter; His reaction to being trapped on the surgical table in Head of State.)

When being duplicitous or suppressing a reaction, Bishop will go to adjust his tie. This could possibly be considered his tell.

Bishop seems to have a particular fear of aliens blending in as humans. His slayer project was built around the assumption that this is a common threat. (Worth noting: This makes The Shredder the model of the exact threat Bishop is afraid of. Technically, Bishop himself may also fit the description of a threat shaped like a human.)

Writing considerations:

In 03's narrative, Bishop is EPF and EPF is Bishop. Narratively speaking, any organization Bishop is head of acts as if it is an extension of his will and character.

Bishop is shown to strike fear and/or discomfort into most characters he interacts with. Anything beyond this is an outlier, and will draw a reader's attention.

Dialogue-wise, Bishop is generally succinct and blunt. He does dabble in gloating, though, and especially likes to upset others. If he's given a chance to be mean, he'll usually take it. It can help to consider he has a Mission Mode and a Normal Mode. When it comes to Mission Mode, he gets straight to the point and hates unnecessary talking. Otherwise, he's still not very talkative, but will take the time to make pointed jabs or talk through a plan. A lot of his sense of humor seems to be rooted in how He's Better Than You (And You're Going To Die Painfully.)

It's a common pitfall that Bishop is depicted as seeking out the turtles. In 03, once he gets their DNA, he's done with them. Any encounters after that are incidental. Bishop does not care about anything that won't effect his greater goal. If he's targeting another character, it should have to do with a greater plan.

Bishop is an extremely competent combatant, shown to be able to handle up to 7 opponents at once. For a breakdown on his fighting style check out my other post on that!

Bishop is hard to kill, and oftentimes he accidentally contributes to his own defeat. (The hook from Bishop's Gambit is an example I get a LOT of mileage out of, as a perfect symbol of his self-defeating prophecies.)

We almost only ever see Bishop in the context of his work. While it could be construed that he depersonalizes himself, it's much more clear that the narrative depersonalizes him. As far as we, the audience know, Bishop's work is all that he is.

It's unclear if Bishop was released from his abduction or escaped. Depending on which you ascribe to, this can have ramifications for his mindset on how to deal with the alien threat. (Personally, because so much of his inability to cope hinges on a feeling of helplessness, I believe he was released. If he escaped on his own power, that undercuts it, somewhat.)

Thematically-speaking, Bishop parallels both his own torturers and his own victims at the same time. He has perpetuated the cycle that traumatized him in the first place by trying to fight fire with fire. (In that vein, I don't think he's capable of understanding that, not seeing aliens as people in the first place, just dangers. Considering how deeply ingrained his trauma is in his worldview and actions, it would probably ruin him, if he were ever able to actually grasp it.)

Bishop and EPF are likely a commentary on the military of the time 03 was coming out. This can be something worth keeping in mind, when figuring out his greater themes in your story, though it can just as well be discarded if it doesn't fit.

Adding to that, Bishop has an extensive american military background. His skills and knowledge will reflect that.

Bishop also plays on and references a number of real-life alien conspiracies. It can be worth digging through conspiracy history to drum up ideas and themes, too.

The ethical and philosophical quandaries of Bishop's body-hopping and humanity tend to not hold too much weight, because Bishop, himself, doesn't seem to care.

If I think of more I'll certainly be adding on to the reblogs of this post! Or, if you have more thoughts, please feel free to add! If you're in the mood for more Bishop ramblings, that's practically most of this blog atm, but this post is a particular favorite. If you're interested in Fast Forward!Bishop, specifically, consider this post! (also read Taking Pawns. slipped in that self-promo, nice.)

#agent bishop #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #And man I still gotta make an analysis on 2012 Bishop #my man is so underrated #There are only a handful of fics out there that include him at ALL and for the most part I find he's blended with 03's characterization #Which takes away what makes him fun in his own right and muddies 03 Bishop's character basis imo #anyway I had this post on the backburner for a while and finally got the motivation to finish her up #And of course if ever there are more questions on characterizing him I'd be happy to help! I love rambling about this guy ad nauseum #oooh stray thought I should do one for Rat King too. Went through that guy's episodes recently theyre GREAT #I've also been very tempted to compile most of these posts into a big ol video essay. idk if I could pull it off but it sure is an idea

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tree1138 · 8 months

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Astarion Contradictions and Breakups

Major spoilers for Astarion’s personal quest, The Dark Urge questline, and game endings.

When I was trying out different paths for how Astarion reacts to the Dark Urge questline something that stood out to me was the wide difference in responses Astarion has, as well as the way he contradicts himself. This essay started as a way of trying to explain “why does Ascendant Astarion tell you to take over the world when he immediately becomes a thrall” from a Watsonian (in-universe explanation) vs a Doylist (out-of-universe explanation) and wound up being a focused on; why does Ascendant!Astarion react so differently to when you break up?

There are 4 opportunities to break up with Ascendant!Astarion; 1) refuse to become his thrall immediately after the ritual you breakup and have a follow up conversation the next morning, 2) become his thrall and break up with him whenever before killing the Eldar brain, 3) break up with him on the dockside convo at the beginning of the ending, 4) in the last scene with him say you want to break up at which point he doesn’t let you: “You're mine remember? The tadpole is gone, which means your future is mine to decide. How lucky you are that I chose you as my consort. Chose you to help me take Baldur’s gate, then sit by my side as I rule it. There’s no backing out now - we’ll be together forever. I can promise you that…”.

Comparing breakup conversations with Spawn!Astarion after killing Cazador, Ascendant!Astarion responds with so much more spitefulness and defensive anger across the board, even at Spawn!Astarions most angry (breaking up with him in the literal last conversation) it doesn't match the anger and cruelty in senario 1. To me it reads as him wanting to make the player character just as hurt and upset as he is after a very emotional day and the lines get really nasty:

He then won’t say anything but “why the hells are you bothering me now” until you do 3 long rests which stands out considering if you break up in any other non ending scenario he’ll talk to you pleasantly afterwards.

That conversation days afterwards is really interesting where his “goal” is to get you to agree to be partners in crime together, and in doing so is the most honest he gets about how a romantic relationship would have been unhealthy:

In regards to love It's really interesting what Astarion will say about love during the conversation where he asks you to become his spawn:

If the pc expresses insecurity about being a spawn he’ll reassure them and say he loves them, in a way that deliberately parallels his Act 1 seduction conversation down to the way that he starts with a degrading pet-name “what can I do for my dearest pet” vs “here’s my little treat with their cheeks all flushed”.

Just like the seduction scene he wants the pc on his side and attached to him, but if you push back on him during this conversation its clear he no longer believes in love just power exchanges:

If the player stays together with Ascendant!Astarion a dialogue option is that he’s seem distant since the ritual, and he’ll imply it's due to his new powers but he does that looking to the up and right that others have mentioned he does when he lies. What makes more sense and is better character writings is the Watsonian answer of: killing all your siblings and 7,000 others (including people Astarion regretted victimizing and then had to look in the eye and condemn to death) will fuck a person up. He knows his hands are bloody so he has to believe he got everything he wanted, and he did really want this because if you leave it up to him he will chose to do the ritual vs just killing Cazador.

I think Astarion has to believe he is better (which in his view means more powerful) than his past self as part of believing the sacrifice was worth it. In scenario 2 he’ll say this if you bring up his past self:

What’s a lot more interesting is if you bring up his past self in the morning after conversation of scenario 1 he’s genuinely shocked and caught off guard:

What I found interesting was Astarion talks in the same way about how the ritual was worth it and the cool new powers he’ll totally get as he does advocating for endings that are bad for him. If you become the Absolute leader Astarion becomes a thrall just like all the other companions whether you do it on your own or in Bhaal’s name. For all his talk about Bhaal’s army being “an unsurpassable dowry” and how he’ll command it, he can’t do jack shit if the player defies Bhaal and then either kills themselves or becomes fully possessed by Bhaal.The Doylist answer is Larian games just have a very limited amount of endings and the characters are forever stuck at lvl 12 , the more interesting Watsonian answer is Astarian is lying/exaggerating out of ignorance or because he really doesn’t have a clue of what to do next and is trying to cover for that.

The whole ritual plotline is very obviously Astarion continuing the cycle of abuse vs helping others, the abuse Cazador inflicted was akin to the abuse he suffered from Vellioth, down to Astarion commenting that Cazador’s rules came from Vellioth. It's also clear that Ascendant!Astarion has processed none of his trauma re: Cazador, after the ritual he says “I will not think about him. I don’t want to even say his name” and he shouts at you to be silent if you mention Cazador when you break up in scenario 2. I personally think Astarion sees you staying with him as a spawn degrading because he was degraded and abused when he was a spawn based on a line he has if the pc is cursed to go mad with The Dark Urge, where he relates too much to the character.

I think the DnD rules of absolute morality that vampires are extremely evil is a boring answer to why Ascendant!Astarion becomes possessive and controlling, especially since Larian has pushed against that theme throughout the game. Yes Astarion has an Act 1 line about how vampires don't turn spawn into full vampires because they don't share power, in my opinion that line falls flat when considering will have kind and supportive dialogue to the player in a number of other Act 3 quests. Whether the its the Watsonian answer that Larian wasn’t going to rewrite large chunks of dialogue when there are Act 3 quests with no companion reactions or the Doylist answer that he is just extremely possessive and has attachment issues about the threat of you leaving him is an interesting dilemma.

In regards to scenario 4 it's a fucking huge contrast to Astarion's whole character arc about learning to trust and being around someone who respects his boundaries and consent, where here doesn't respect the player's boundaries or consent. It's such a contrast to scenario 3 that happens right before it where Astarion says "We have served our respective purposes, we're free to go wherever we wish" and doesn't mind you breaking up with him as if your relationship was a strategic alliance. It's also the clearest contrast from his pre-ritual dialogue of "we're a team. If I become all powerful, then we become all powerful" because he's taken away all power from the player. The Ascendant romance is not subtle with most of the romance specific dialogue being themed around an extremely toxic D/s relationship where the Narrator explicitly says he’ll see you as degrading himself by being with him as a spawn which feels like it was added to remove any ambiguity about what Astarion feels. From the way he says “on your knees” before he turns the player character, the way he calls you “bad boy/girl” if you fail the check to see his thoughts, and that infamous line about sitting naked on his lap.

Between the heavy message of power corrupts and how the rest of his ending dialogue is about how his evil future plans will be so fun, it's a clear callback to an act 1 conversation:

tldr: I don't think that corruption is as fun or as freeing as you thought Astarion, but he doesn't have to confront that fact if you're "lovers forever, until the world falls down"

#baldur's gate #bg3 #bg3 meta #astarion #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #longpost #sorry tumblr intext quotation breaks on mobile edits #do i have to add a warning that I find the ascendant romance fun #it's fucked up and full of angst if you dig into it

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lunaescribe · 2 years

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An Interracial Reading of Ed & Stede

After writing about how the racial dynamics of Ed's character in the show affect his choices, it got me thinking about the interracial romance dynamics set up between Ed and Stede. (This is a little more Stede focused than Ed since I already wrote about Ed at length)

Unlike some shows OFMD recognizes systems of privilege and oppression in its world. Colonialism, racism, and homophobia all exist-but no marginalized person in the show is forced to have an arch revolving only around these oppressive forces. The sea within the show, is especially used as a metaphor-and transgressive space where some of these oppressive forces lessen in power, or are more easily resisted. (I.E. Calico Jack's comment "Anything goes at sea" in reference to homosexuality). The show has deliberately set up piracy to be an anarchistic, and rebellious force to traditional society's colonialism and heteronormativity-which is a key element to how Ed and Stede come together.

Stede clearly comes from a place of white, male, and wealthy privilege. It lends itself to a lot of arrogance that he charges into situations with, and a very valid reason much of the crew and other characters are frustrated with him. He isn't afraid to invade spaces which often belong to marginalized people, the poor, POC, and women (Like Spanish Jackie's).

He underestimates piracy is often a forced profession (as told to him by Olu in episode 1) to those in the most marginalized positions. He can be dismissive of the crew's frustrations or worries often (fails to notice when they are in danger like Lucius going missing)-and doesn't often comprehend how racial violence works. When the English Officers are making microaggressive comments against his crew in episode 1 he does appear uncomfortable, but also fails to entirely understand the weight of those insults to his crew or stand up against them (even if it would've been dangerous). The indigenous group are right to be wary of him in episode 2 and address his internalized bias and racist reaction when he assumes they are cannibals which ate the hostages. He is a self-focused white man, even if he is capable of emotional intelligence and empathy with others.

Rightfully so, the Revenge crew has plenty of reasons to want to mutiny and kill him-as a privileged outsider who's impulsive decisions, and invasion of space for the marginalized, is going to put all their lives in danger (as he does in episode 3 on the Spanish Ship).

Despite his very expected of-the-time-period (And unfortunately still persist in modern times) ignorance, privilege, and microaggressions Stede still appears to be an outlier of the elite white men of his society. Unlike the English, or French aristocrats he does not showcase any overt prejudice to members of his crew-and even seeks out their advise and council (when his own excitement hasn't gotten him to make an impulsive decision). In fact by coming to sea-Stede surrenders a degree of his privilege, since it is the pirates like Spanish Jackie, Blackbeard, Calico Jack, and even Izzy who through experience and physical force have earned the most power and respect on the high seas. Being a white, wealthy, man doesn't carry the same immediate access to power as it does in Barbados-and Stede is seemingly willing to make to make that sacrifice to learn along the way. While part of this must be a-credited to the excellent writing on the show more focused on creating a modern, inclusive, experience-credit must also be given to the writing for showcasing historical subtext which demonstrates why Stede would have more progressive viewpoints.

Throughout history, there are multiple instances where marginalized groups end up bonding together-because they're all pushed to the outskirts of society. It makes sense a lot of the most staunch abolitionists of the 19th century (amongst white people-since there were plenty of POC who did the majority of the work) were women. Enduring discrimination is painful, but can have the affect of building empathy-which seems to have been one of the effects in Stede's case. Episode 1 establishes what a menace Stede is to his more marginalized crew-but it also importantly showcases how intensely marginalized Stede was in his own society. Stede experienced abuse in his own house AND from his own peers due to his overt lack of traditional colonial masculinity.

We're told he cries easily and picks flowers (Stede confirms he did), which make him the ire of the more traditionally masculine boys in his school, and provokes their physical and mental abuse. Stede's queerness has ostracized him from his society and some elements of his privilege ever since he was a boy.

While his marriage does not continue his overt abuse-it's a further situation of Stede trying to exist in a colonial role that is just miserable for him as a queer man. What's interesting to how Stede responds to his marginalization though-is he chooses to walk away from the abusive heteronormative, colonial, society-rather than become embittered (and lashing out-which he does do once he tries to return in episode 10) trying to exist in it. It's part of the reason he feels a kinship to the other pirates (even if it isn't alway reciprocated or over-assumed on his part), and finds life more comfortable amongst others who have also been outcasted from colonial traditional society. He finally has a space he can be openly queer (Not in the immediately seducing men sense-but in ignoring the demands of traditional masculinity sense)-because it is a transgressive space in and of itself. I would argue one of the most important pieces of Stede's arch in the show-is realizing resisting the colonial, violent society he was told is normal-is not something to feel guilty about-but needed for justice and happiness.

As much as Stede questions what he's done or who he is becoming upon killing Nigel, when he actually pauses to consider his death-he finds he doesn't feel guilty at all about it. He recognizes what an abusive and horrible colonial force Nigel was. What he really feels guilty over is the harm he could've caused to leaving his family vulnerable without him-or I would argue-the overall guilt he feels each time he transgresses against the traditional societal role he was told he should respect. It's here, he begins to let go of his privilege that was apart of that abusive colonial system, which also abused him.

Enter Ed. After hearing stories of his success and adventures, and freedom of anarchy Stede is instantly starstuck by the idea of Blackbeard before even meeting him. Ed is equally intrigued by Stede before they meet-someone who doesn't seem to be overwhelmed by his reputation-and also an apparent 'gentleman' at sea-a persona difficult to exist in a hyper-violent power structure of pirates. I would argue Ed's initial interest in Stede is split between that intrigue-and as we learn at the end of episode 4-his plan to kill him and steal his wealth & assets. And why wouldn't he? As far as he knows Stede is just another wealthy white man who would put him down the moment he gets a chance.

That is until Stede wakes up. As others have pointed out, immediately, without even knowing he is a Captain Stede treats Ed with respect as though they are equals. Ed is clearly perplexed by that, and it extends his fascination toward Stede even though he is still heavily invested in his long-con. However it's when Ed shows interest in the untraditionally hyper-masculine fabric-and Stede responds not only with equal adoration, but invites Ed into his secret cabinet of more, his perception of Stede begins to shift. Stede is not the same as the previous condescending white aristocrats Ed has come across previously who would've never invited him to touch their things-none the less wear them in the next scene. Their clothes swapping also gives us the visual cue of the equal playing ground Ed and Stede meet at on the sea. Stede still carrying some of the power of his wealth and whiteness, and Ed carrying the power earned from being Blackbeard for years, and the biracial influence able to earn loyalty from pirates of different identities across the board. Not at all how it would have been if they met in Barbados.

From there, relieved to find someone who has an appreciation for the same untraditionally masculine interest they share-the pair open up further. Sharing their mutual exasperation with the role they've been forced into by society, due to their marginalization.

By the end of the episode-bonding on their mutual eccentricities they've developed in response to learning to cope and make life interesting for themselves-Ed is already beginning to doubt his plan. It's obvious on his face when he turns from Izzy after sharing his plan to murder Stede. This long-con of playing hyper-violent, hyper-masculine, to survive has become draining.

The following episode we get an instance of Ed learning high class manners from Stede for said con, when a French Officer racially insults him referring to him as "Donkey". While Stede recognizes Ed is upset-he does not seem to understand entirely why it's so deeply harmful to him. Clearly having an old wound reopened Ed is especially eager to go to the fancy French aristocrat party to prove to himself, and perhaps even Stede, he can be more than those insults. That he could even pull off the con if he suceeds.

Initially, Ed is proud he's somehow outdid Stede at the party, a white man in his own element, by being more 'liked' at the party. Stede however, knowing society well, is most likely familiar enough to be wary of the overt or passive aggressive racism that exists in these spaces. He warns Ed they can be fickle. We know first-hand he's been mistreated for his own version of masculinity, so he's more aware of what discrimination looks like in this setting, as opposed to the previous microaggressions he underestimated from the officers He's not at all surprised when Ed leaves the party distraught-and his desire to get revenge on the French aristocrats is an extremely huge shift for him and Ed.

While the comedy of the scene is overt-many have pointed out Stede is shockingly unfazed with the obvious destruction and clearly loss of life on the French ship. It's burning behind them as people jump into the sea and Stede smiles proudly. It's a massive change from Stede's panicked response to 'accidentally' killing Nigel. He's quite content-proud of himself! Just like Nigel, the aristocrats represent and showcase colonial violence, their deaths are all played for comedy and without sorrow (unlike Karl or Lucius) because the show is so anti-colonialist-and has no sympathy for those who represent it. While Stede struggles to feel righteous anger for himself in terms of responding to Nigel's oppressive force-he is plenty able to on Ed's behalf.

For Ed, this act completely changes how he sees Stede. In this scene, Stede has not only demonstrated he is willing to be rough and fight back when needed (not just a simple tender rich man), but he willing to betray his own class and race for Ed. "Cut loose" is a significant line-cut loose as in-have fun, be unhinged, but also cut ties from his own people. It's only BECAUSE Stede does this we can even have the moonlight "you wear fine things well" scene. Ed no longer sees Stede as a rich target he won't feel bad taking out-he sees someone who cares about his feelings and willing to resist the forces colonialism with him and more importantly FOR him.

"You wear fine things well" is an unwitting seduction on Stede's part-because to Ed it is reassuring him-he is just as fine, worthy, and precious as he hoped to be as a boy. Stede is showcasing he does not view Ed in the stereotypes of his race at all, which have marked many of Ed's interactions at sea for the majority of his life. By the end of this episode Ed is infatuated with Stede: they're similar in their eccentricities, Stede empathizes with his plights, and he's enchanted by his courage to defy convention. Not that he'll ever lay his heart bare to tell Stede at this point. Especially when he sees Stede doesn't go in for a kiss like he does. He's never had this kind of equal and relatable relationship with another person-and most likely never assumed it would be with a white man.

So he starts flirting.

Many have pointed out the "Stab me" scene is clearly Ed's attempt to flirt-to get Stede physically close to him, it's also demonstration of how in a hyper-masucline setting so much bonding is done via violence. We can imagine this may have been how the sexuality went between Calico Jack and Ed. But Stede's version of masculinity, romance, etc, is so different from this high seas violent courtships-the attempt goes over his head. That's why Ed is agonized with the push to kill him by Izzy in episode 6. He does his best to convince himself, like Izzy says, Stede is a pet, a passing infatuation/lust, but the reminder of his childhood trauma from the 'fuckery' is too much to bear. Stede is not like his Father, or other white men he's killed, he's Stede, he listens, he's already protected and defended Ed once-and joined Ed in his absurd behavior stepping outside of all masculine expectation with him, so he's willing to open up and tell Stede what happened-especially since Stede seeks him out after his panic attack.

Obviously this is an extremely intimate scene on its own, but the fact Stede is someone Ed can fall apart in front of, cry, express his distain for the tenants of his own power, brings Ed even closer to him. This kind of emotional showcase would've had the opposite effect with any other men Ed knew as Blackbeard. But unlike Jack, or Izzy, Stede makes so much space and empathy to comfort Ed's emotions. It's not often a man of color's vulnerable emotions are put on screen as a central important plot point to be given weight and tender time to.

It's worth noting how Ed being the seducee and attempting to anxiously win back Stede's affections is a departure from historically racist depictions of interracial romances on screen. Quite often in the past we saw the POC member of a pairing containing a white person, was often characterized as being more animalistic, rough, or aggressively sexual. While Ed is clearly more traditionally masculine and hardy as pirate-he's given the role of the infatuated one-the one pining tenderly (plus we see Stede commit more violence on screen than we do Ed!). Ed's given a beautifully rich emotional score of being romanced, in a setting on the sea where the pair have equal footing of privilege. They're pair of equals bonding over their odd (to everyone else) behavior.

While Ed refers to himself as a Kraken, a mythical monster-that imagery is part of the racialized violence he'd endured all his life. The fact in that scene Stede does not reinforce that imagry but instead tells Ed he's his 'friend' is so monumental for Ed. As someone who has been on a journey of learning violence is at times unavoidable to survive against oppressive forces, Stede answers Ed's murder plan with empathy and relief. It completly undercuts the racist idea that either one of them is more 'naturally violent' with Ed in tears over the fact he no longer wants to commit murders to survive. Ed's humanity and tender emotions are put at the forefront of the show multiple times-asking the audience not to stereotype him in a caricature-even if other white characters are willing to. (Which is why fan depictions that lean into making him a literal monster are regressive at least, and racist at worst)

Episode 7 and 8 really showcase how Ed has no idea what to expect of Stede. He spends most of episode 7 feeling rejected and far too vulnerable (after that bathtub confession), since Stede has not openly returned his flirtations (And perhaps rightfully wary from his previous experiences with white men) and it is only when Lucius spells out to Ed that the entire expedition is meant to be a gift to Ed from Stede, he relaxes. Once he knows Stede is somehow returning his affections, he reconsiders his plan of running away and agrees to co-captain with him.

When Calico Jack shows up in episode 8 he throws a wrench in everything-but also provides us interesting backstory for Ed and his relationships with white men. He tells Stede "You two have a lot in common", which can seem like a humorous throw away line since Jack and Stede couldn't be more different in their presentation of masculinity. I would argue what Ed sees and is referring to-is that Jack and Stede are two white men who seem extremely uninterested in prescribed colonial masculinity and that is what stands out to Ed. That isn't to say Jack's version of toxic, violent, frat-boy, immature, masculinity is healthy-but Ed can recognize they are both outliers from proper navy officers. (Ed's perspective is demonstrated in episode 9, when he tells Chauncey "you all look alike", a joke yes, but also how much these proper colonial white men blend together for Ed.)

Stede has made enough of an impression on Ed though-and shown him such a space of alternative masculinity-he is willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING for him by getting back on the ship instead of rowing away with Jack. Once again the English officers attempt to re-affirm their structure of colonization on the sea-such as when Chauncey tells Ed "He's from my world not yours" in regards to having the right to execute Stede. Ed however returns the previous gesture of Stede's- betraying his legacy as a pirate by taking "An Act of Grace".

Piracy is once more a metaphor for colonial resistance since Chauncey attempts to argue Stede isn't a 'real pirate' and therefore can not have an "Act of Grace". But once again we see Stede's chaotic, more tender version of masculinity shine through, as his 'piracy' is proven from his simple abduction and nourishment of a plant-not any amount of bloodshed. Chauncey throws a fit, as it is another example of piracy and masculinity not playing by traditional colonial rules.

Despite being thrown back into a colonial setting at the reform school-Ed and Stede are now in position where both have been entirely stripped of their power. It is what lets them kiss on the beach without the imbalanced power dynamics of colonial society-and just themselves. It's truly touching moment because it's the pair of them wanting each other, even without all their fineries or power attached-which is why they're in the same outfit. It's a really remarkable way of doing an interracial relationship in media-Ed and Stede's power dynamics are communicated via their outfits throughout the show.

When Stede chooses to return to his family-it's only after he receives a scolding, for betraying the colonial role he was given (A Father, obeying naval officers, etc) he chooses to leave Ed feeling such immense guilt for straying from his designated role and privilege (plus the idea his tender form of masculinity as emasculated Blackbeard). There's even an element of white privilege Stede is able to return his comfortable life immediately, rather than being tracked down by the English for abandoning his post. But once home, the show demonstrates so well-and Stede can finally acutely see-he never belonged in this abusive colonial system. And the people who manage to find happiness within it-only do so by deviating (Mary having her affair, widows riding themselves of toxic husbands, etc) from that abusive system's demand. Stede leaves Barbados, free of guilt from Chauncey's death, and walking away from the abusive system this time recognizing it is the right thing to do. Most significantly, Stede relinquishes one of the sources of his colonial privilege-wealth.

It's a complete commitment to change, the world of piracy, and Ed. It's Stede finally recognizing violence against colonial forces (such as killing the Badminton twins) is needed, because they are so oppressive and violent in and of themself. It's Stede recognizing walking away from colonial forces (the heteronormativity of his previous life) is needed for happiness and freedom-and that includes sacrificing the comfort of wealth. Stede returns to the sea without the pomp and flash of his former privilege, ready to commit to a life of rebellion with Ed, against that world. It makes sense coming from this place of privilege, and choose to let it go (rather than having it revoked) Stede finds himself in a 'happy' ending at the end of Season 1.

Ed however, is ending the season feeling the brunt of colonial violence. Stede leaving him (which we can perceive is how he sees the interaction, since if he imagined Stede dead he probably wouldn't of thrown out all his things) is an example of Stede behaving how Ed feared an upper class white man would see him as. Disposable, which is what drove his anxiety in episode 8 to leave with Jack "You would always see what I am". Ed has been trying to avoid being hurt this entire relationship with Stede and he failed. Izzy's threat, another example of white violence, pushes Ed over the edge to make him shut down completely to protect himself all this white violence. It's a violent change for Ed because not only did he believe someone saw him past all the stereotypes he'd been pushed into in his life-he also must be furious at himself he dared to think Stede could be better than his previous interactions with white men.

Ed has every right to be furious and feel deeply betrayed. I would even argue he has every right to attack Izzy after Izzy spent so much time threatening him and berating his new-found more tender masculinity. It's worth noting if you watch Ivan and Fang in episode 6 they remark how nice it is to see Ed so 'open and available' and when Ed is singing in episode 10, Fang watches on with a tender sympathetic expression. The other men of color understood how monumental it was for Ed to have a chance to be seen as more than just a vehicle of violence. Unlike some people I don't think 'utterly heartbroken in a robe singing sad songs Ed' is 'true' Ed entirely. I think he still has plenty of chaos and anger against colonialism in him-but surviving via violence and constantly bearing his teeth has grown draining for him, and he would prefer to be softer and more expressive if he has the choice.

Stede completed his arch resisting colonialism-so I wouldn't be surprised if we DO get season 2 from Ed's POV. Stede's ignorance is part of the reason he did not pause to consider as much as he thought leaving Ed would help him-would also wound him. Stede returned to his privilege and power, and while it finally helped him see the light-it caused an immense amount of harm to Ed-and did not consider how deep his feelings were at all. It would be likely in a show that has done so well to set up a stage that an interracial relationship can flourish challenging previous structures of power, and putting two wildly different men on the same power level-it now shifts to the man who's at the crisis and crossroads of his identity like Stede was at the start of season 1. It's my hope season 2 would conclude with the pair of them standing firmly in their identities, knowing they can exist outside of the role colonialism attempted to press them into.

#ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #ofmd meta #poc of ofmd #shit this is LONG #I'm sorry but this show is brilliantly written i had to scream #also #stop making Ed into a literal monster #PLEASE #this is very stede focused since I already wrote at length on Ed #my writing

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cherlockbrolmes · 1 year

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Making this its own post because I feel VERY passionately about this. The original reblog’d response is right under this on my profile. This is a copy paste of my response.

ABOUT LEO’S GROWTH IN THE RISE MOVIE, and how a good portion of the fandom has interpreted his behavior…

TLDR: Leo isn't a sadboy defeatist who takes his self-sacrificial tendencies to unhealthy levels. His development in the movie was a net positive. HOPE and TRUST are the central and truest parts of Leo's character that permeates even the darkest of situations.

Ok this isn't meant to be an attack on the poster or anything, so initially I want to make this VERY clear before I get into it. I know this is mostly humorous, and l'm not trying to dull the mood either- I just have a lot of thoughts. People are allowed to interpret media the way they want; that's kinda how it works (mostly. We should be aware of the disgusting exceptions).

But dear lord, I have to talk about this because this characterization for Leo being so extremely self sacrificial and sad is RAMPANT and I have to give my own two cents.

I kinda heavily dislike this characterization and mostly disagree with it.

That's not to say there isn't truth in it; Leo has trends in many if not all iterations to have some self sacrificial tendencies. That sometimes pops up as a problem, too- but I really don't think Leo is taking it to a majorly unhealthy degree here for one big reason:

He trusts his family.

But let me break it down first. While I'm sure Leo shows a LOT of character growth by the end of the movie, one thing l'm sure he's not going to lose is major traits of his personality. First and foremost, he DOES value himself, even if some members of the fandom want to insist otherwise. Some portray or interpret his ego as a facade, when I really don't think that's it at all. Do I think it's overplayed in moments of insecurity? Yes, absolutely, but that doesn't mean it's purely a face.

Leo doesn't think his family is more or less than him.

He sees the value of them TOGETHER, and I think the movie helped him understand that even more.

Leo enjoys himself, and he enjoys them, and if he sees another option, he'll take it instead of going to a self sacrificial solution. Leo, while maybe not able to spell things well or understand what Donnie is talking about 99% of the time, is smart in his own way. He's a STRATEGIST- that's why Splinter promoted him to leader. Leo will absolutely be able to figure things out before he leaps to self sacrifice. His choice with Krang Prime came from a moment of desperation and not knowing what else to do. And even then, he held on to the thought of his family- the HOPE that they will ultimately be able to save him.

Hope is a big part of this rant. Just hang in there.

A big part of Leo's character is how much he values his family being together. That is made VERY clear in Portal Jacked, when he's openly distraught about having lost them. And I think he knows his family well enough that if one unceremoniously splits off, it creates deeper cracks. Not to mention he knows firsthand what losing one of them feels like. Why would he subject the others to that? I think that would make him actively AVOID self sacrifice if the option came up. It's only in the darkest of moments that Leo would accept it...and that's even pushing it, due to how much faith he holds in his family to have his back.

That's part of what makes a good leader of the Hamatos, too. Hell, that's what the ENTIRE FINALE OF THE SHOW ILLUSTRATED. That trusting your family to have your back will help them win in the end.

But there's also ONE BIG PART of the movie that I think people dismiss all too often. And I get it- the drama that proceeds it is fun and juicy and everything, but the quote highlights Leo's character growth better than the "it's not about me" bit.

“We still have a ninja’s greatest weapon…hope”

“We still have hope!”

“Our future isn’t written until we write it…as a team”.

“I’m not leaving him behind”.

“We still have hope!”

“A ninja’s greatest weapon…”

“Hey, I like that!”

Leo, to me, is an enormously POSITIVE character.

It's hard for me to believe that Mr. "A Ninja's Greatest Weapon Is Hope" would be...so sullen in his attitude and so prone to self sacrifice.

Self sacrifice is never off the table for him. But it is also not an option he sees as mostly beneficial.

He trusts his family.

He has hope.

I personally believe that..while he was defeated and distraught in the Prison Dimension, as any would be...he still had hope. He was SMILING. He trusted his family.

I don't think the "what took you so long?" was a disingenuous, deflecting quip. I think he meant it. He trusted his family to save him.

Leo's character development is definitely accepting it isn't about him. "I realize I don't have all the answers is the PINNACLE of this. He isn't one to launch himself in and think he can handle it on his own anymore.

He has learned to trust his family, and through that, he trusts himself on a level deeper and more true than he ever has before.

And he's such a goofy guy, c'mon guys.

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i-heart-hxh · 6 months

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I saw a poll about bad writing moments in the CAA and a lot o people think Kite's revival is bad writing, I can see why some people might think it was bad writing, but it looks like some people didn't understand that Kite's revival taking off importance of Gon's arc in the CAA is the whole point, I think Togashi wanted to show that Gon's rage and self-destructive behavior was a big mistake, Ging even tells Gon that Kite would never sacrifice for him if he didn't have an ability to survive.

Yes, I definitely agree!

I think my first time through the series I was a little disappointed that Kite "survived" after all of that, but my opinion on this changed later. Even as someone who tends not to like fake deaths very often in fiction, I feel like the way they're done in HxH, they usually have enough foreshadowing/set up in advance and purpose in the storyline that I don't take issue with them.

In the case of Chimera Ant Arc, characters being reborn was a major theme throughout the entire arc, so to me Kite's rebirth doesn't feel like a stretch. Also, because I feel like second chances is a major theme of the series, Kite's rebirth strikes me as part of that. Both Kite getting a second chance at living, and Gon getting a chance to "make things right," between them (in Gon's view--of course Kite doesn't see things the same way as Gon does). After his rebirth, Kite gives Koala a second chance to live a meaningful life, too.

I also agree that the fact Kite was reborn helps emphasize the pointlessness of Gon's revenge and throwing his life away. As I've said before, I don't feel Togashi condones bloody revenge, and having Kite ultimately survive after what Gon did on his behalf helps make what Gon did that much harder to justify as a "good thing."

#hunter x hunter #hxh #gon #kite #chimera ant arc #asks #anonymous #my posts #meta

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wibble-wobbegong · 1 year

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Mike vs Selfishness

The sheer number of people who misunderstand Mike as a character, even as fans of his, face one major flaw; they root his actions in self interest. They believe he is selfish. Even with positive connotation, this is wrong.

For some reason, it seems that the world has decided we must have balance between selfishness and selflessness between characters— if Will is selfless, then Mike must be selfish. This is the very trap that the writers set in S4. Their intention was to mislead and misconstrue. Will is shown to be giving up many things over and over and over for Mike, so he’s painted as the selfless hero (which he is). Mike? We mostly see him from others’ perspectives, meaning we only see him take. He isn’t aware of the sacrifices being made for him, but the show is producing the image of him never sacrificing in turn. Your mind will naturally lead you to view him as selfish because of the lack of reciprocity being shown. They want you to go blind to Mike’s sacrifice so the reveal hits that much harder.

But we aren’t blind. Mike is a character so inherently good that even stripping him of any sympathetic connection with the audience cannot hide the love and kindness inside him. The writers are true to their characters, so no amount of hiding will keep Mike’s true nature repressed— you just have to look, and look we have.

If we’re to look at Mike and know he is not what we perceive, how is it that so many people fail to understand that he is as selfless as any other character? Mike is not a boy with a monster hidden under his skin waiting to take what it wants despite how often we see this description of him floating around. This idea is in omnipresent in so many analysis posts or by those who say they’re fans of his imperfect characterization when that isn’t what makes him imperfect.

For example, it seems to be commonplace to believe that Mike is dating El to hide to some degree— not necessarily as a beard, but as an excuse for his behavior; his prioritization if her; his avoidance of Will. Rather than using El as an excuse, it’s much more plausible that Mike legitimately puts El above other people sometimes. When you look at Mike’s story with El it is so very blatant that he wants to do things for her and help her and make her happy. The very beginning of their friendship in S1 had been Mike seeing El and wanting to help. He rescued her and let her stay and took care of her when he first found her— sending her back to Pennhurst was not malicious or uncaring. He genuinely thought it was best for her at the time.

As Mike gets to know her he learns of her tragic past and comes to admire her as a person for her strength and sense of justice. El has lived a life of anger and sadness and abuse and Mike knows this. He sees a good person who has known nothing but suffering and wants to help her live the happiest life she can lead and Mike believes part of her happiness comes from being with him. Of course he’ll do it. He may not love her romantically, but he loves her so strongly in other ways that he’s willing to pretend for her sake. He’s been pretending since the end of S2. She moves to kiss him and he freezes, but they end up at the Snowball together anyway.

He’s giving too much of himself. He takes it too far and abandons intrinsic parts of himself for her happiness— this includes movies, hanging out with friends, music, and more than anything else, Will. Not Will himself but the part of him that belongs to Will. The part that loves him.

Mike’s selflessness reaches the furthest extremes. He’s willing to kill himself for Dustin with zero hesitation. He’s willing to abandon his personhood in hopes El is happy. He’ll shoulder the blame in fights with Will and hide the truth when he realizes Will never meant to hurt him. In fact, he tries to prevent Will from ever realizing he’s angry with him and continues to push him away during the fight at Rink-o-Mania. Mike consistently backs away from any confrontation where he has to address himself and his wants and his feelings when they aren’t there to help others. With Lucas at the beginning of the season, he backs down the second Lucas explains himself. During the rain fight, he’s calm and apologetic until Will brings El into it. Mike will always try to redirect things away from himself and Will is the only person who wont let him.

Normally, selflessness doesn’t take such intense and demanding forms. It doesn’t hurt others. Selflessness is usually shown as positive altruism or as an isolated punishment upon the self. Mike falls into the end of self punishment.

Self punishment always leads to unintentionally hurting others. Usually, se’d see this displayed from the perspective of the punisher. We don’t have Mike’s perspective. The punishments he imposes on himself are not visible to us.

Mike is a good, selfless person. He’s so sacrificial and feels so inferior that he doesn’t value his side of the story and acts as a servant to the happiness of the people around him. He’s rarely confrontational about issues that center around his wants and his feelings. When I say Mike is the prime example of a character who is a victim of themself I mean that he will destroy himself to hand out the pieces to people who he thinks need them.

There is nothing about him that is selfish or holds expectations that can’t be broken down. Mike’s rare selfish acts crumble like worn towers and his sacrifice will never be enough in his eyes. It’s all self imposed, but self imposition does not equate to selfishness. That’s what people miss about his character.

Mike is selfless in the most destructive, dangerous way positive. He has lost any sense of self importance, and that’s pretty clearly reflected in his monologue in the van (which happens to be the only time he really opens up and immediately calls himself stupid for it).

BASICALLY: mike’s not selfish he’s just selfless to the point of destruction and hurts people. hurting people is not inherent to selfishness . bro is big stupid and lives to please lmao

#i hope this makes sense #a little rushed bc i need to study but i desperately need to talk about him #my line of reasoning feels kinda ass #if this doesnt make sense feel free to ask questions bc this topic is HUGE with so many different angles to poke at #mike wheeler #mike analysis

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tachiguin · 19 days

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If you were Kafka, what would you change in BSD

Sorry, this question has been sitting in my inbox for a very long time. I think it’s kinda hard for me to answer this question, because to a certain degree I’m tempted to say “I wouldn’t change anything at all”. Like, for all that I criticize media like Bungou Stray Dogs for various things, I also think that the media we consume shouldn’t be required to be so perfect that there’s nothing to criticize. If anything, criticism is a major part of what drives discussion in fandoms. Moreover, as much as I may feel “Kafka Asagiri shouldn’t have done X”, I’m not really inclined to want to change X about the series? Maybe it’s just because I approach it from the mindset of a reader, not an author, but I think that its OK for me to disapprove of certain aspects of a series, and still not want anything to change about it. Like, if I was given full control to change anything I wanted, it probably wouldn’t be the same Bungou Stray Dogs at all, starting with Mushitarou’s awful hairstyle, BTW. Honestly I might just kill the guy off if it was up to me, I don’t really like looking at his face……. but I digress!

Having said that, I still do think certain aspects of the series could be changed to better appeal to myself. But again, I don’t want anyone to think that my opinion is more “correct” than what Kafka Asagiri himself decided for the series. This is literally just my personal thoughts on the matter, just like how if it was up to me Oguri Mushitarou and his slimy hair would not exist in Bungou Stray Dogs, even though, objectively, he’s fine and well written and nothing really needs to change about him, except I really want him to sue his plastic surgeon, and his hairdresser, like hello? Way to make a guy look unrecognizable, I guess.

Sorry, I’ll stop trashing on poor Mushitarou. I’m serious though.

The two major changes I’d make are the role of female characters in the series, and also the way that the concepts of self-sacrifice and “honorable suicide” are presented. I think these aspects are the biggest gripes I have with the story, but I also think that, especially in regards to the latter, the series wouldn’t necessarily be the same, or even “better”, if it was changed.

I’ve never really made a post going in depth about how I feel in regards to BSD’s female cast, but I’ve mentioned before that I think the fandom really underrates most, if not all, women in Bungou Stray Dogs. But in retrospect, I can’t really blame it all on the fandom’s general misogyny; the way that Asagiri portrays women in his story doesn’t really do anything to discourage the lack of appreciation for his female cast. The thing is that she’s almost always the side chick. She’s an accessory to hang off of his arm. She’s motivated solely by him, whether that be his goals, or just because she—and it’s never really explained why—is deeply and hopelessly in love with him. Who is this “she”? Who am I talking about, in particular? Literally every female character, barring maybe Yosano, might fit the descriptions I gave above. That’s how bad Kafka Asagiri is at giving his female characters agency.

It’s okay to have a character with a plotline that’s intertwined with another character. It’s okay to have a character that’s motivated by external forces. It’s okay to have a supporting character who doesn’t really do much except move the plot forward. It’s starts to become annoying when all of these characters are women, while their male counterparts get the better end of the deal.

Sometimes I hear people say that Kafka Asagiri is good at writing women, and I think, in response, that shounen anime has truly brought our standards down, six feet under the dirt where every interesting female character to exist in animanga is buried. Yes… Asagiri doesn’t shy away from writing female characters who can fight, and even, gasp! Fight well, but this is literally the bare minimum, especially for a magical setting that takes place in the modern age. Asagiri can create female characters with interesting traits and a lot of potential, then subsequently assign all of her traits to serve a male character’s narrative, while actively sabotaging any potential she had by utilizing her as a plot device.

And maybe I would be less annoyed if it went both ways. Kyouka has saved Atsushi quite a handful of times, why doesn’t he worship the ground she walks on and dedicate his entire life to helping her fulfill her goals? Actually, on this topic, the reason why is because Kyouka doesn’t have any substantial goals outside of being Atsushi’s sidekick for life. Now, I absolutely adore Kyouka and Atsushi’s relationship, found family is still my favorite troupe ever, but it’s noticeable that while Atsushi’s search for self-esteem and a so-called “reason to live” is the literal narrative core of the series, Kyouka, who had found herself struggling with a similar internal conflict, is by comparison, almost never explored further. When was the last time the story checked back up on Lucy, and how she’s feeling? Yeah, she’s in a better place now, but isn’t she still haunted by her years at the orphanage, under the Guild’s thumb, being treated like a pawn on the chessboard, just as so many male characters have been shown to feel in wake of their own traumatic experiences? Doesn’t she struggle to find a new purpose in life, now that she’s no longer stuck doing someone else’s bidding just to survive?

We only ever see a brief glimpse into the thoughts and feelings of BSD’s female cast, before the door slams shut, and they’re relegated to some background role where it doesn’t really matter how she feels, she just wants to help the guy who saved her life, that’s all we really need to know before we can start advancing the plot again. Well, I want to know more.

It would also be great to have more female characters who are motivated by something other than her desire to help or hurt another—oftentimes male—character. How come he’s allowed to delusionally seek world domination, and she isn’t? How come he’s allowed to desperately want to save everyone in spite of a cruel reality, and she isn’t? How come he’s allowed to be motivated almost solely by his selfish need for the validation of another, and she isn’t?

Which brings me to another avenue to consider: characters like Akutagawa and Rampo are shown to be fanatically devoted to another character, to the point that Dazai or Fukuzawa could say “Jump,” and they’d be in the air even before asking “How high?”. But here’s the thing: Akutagawa’s devotion is entirely self-centric, and it’s examined as such. He doesn’t selflessly want to help Dazai, no questions asked, he craves the peace of mind that Dazai’s affirmation would bring about, and consequently does anything he can to gain that validation. Not only that, but it’s portrayed as unhealthy and a problem when Akutagawa blindly does whatever Dazai asks of him, but somehow, this doesn’t apply to Louisa and Fitzgerald, Teruko and Fukuchi? Hmmmmmm!

Simply put, there’s a double standard here, and I’d like it to change, because BSD really does have a female cast with a lot of potential, if only Asagiri cared to utilize it.

***

In regards to Thing I'd Want To Change #2, I remember tag-dumping about this awhile back, but it somewhat bothers me that in order to pass the Detective Agency’s entrance exam, Atsushi and Kyouka were required to put their lives on the line to save another (even though, in Atsushi’s case, it was all staged). This might not have been a problem for me if the Detective Agency weren’t the good guys in this—or even if it was emphasized in some other manner that it’s OK to save yourself first, like c’mon, that’s just common sense, they teach you such in elementary school during a fire drill. But unfortunately, not only was Kyouka’s feelings on the matter never expanded on, Atsushi continues to believe that he needs to save people to deserve to live.

However, I do think that there’s still room for development here. Bungou Stray Dogs is not a completed work, so who’s to say that Atsushi won’t have a different outlook on life by the final chapter? Moreover, I think that in the situation where Atsushi first reached this conclusion (on the subway with Yosano and Kaji), Atsushi was probably in a worse mindset prior. For him, he felt that he wanted to live, but that he didn’t deserve to, so therefore, in order to justify his own existence, he grasped a “reason to live”, a motivation to not simply give up and perish right then and there, alongside a train full of innocent people. It was a very “in the moment” kind of thing, that would serve as a foundation for later developments. Again, I think it’s fine that this is his way of thinking now, but someone genuinely needs to tell this boy that it’s not a matter of “reasons” or whether he deserves to or not, living is just something we do without really thinking about it, so its okay if that he lives in that kind of unapologetic manner.

Still, the Detective Agency’s exam is kind of harsh, yet I don’t think it’s necessarily something I would do away with completely, as much as I would reframe it to better fit the message I would want to send. The thing is that working at a superpowered organization that regularly gets into scuffles with the local mafia is in no way safe, and your life insurance probably won’t cover it when you get magically killed and dumped in the river. So it is understandable if a minimum requirement for becoming a member is that you’re okay with getting caught in life or death situations on a semi-frequent basis. It may also be a desired trait that you’d be willing to rescue civilian lives at little benefit to yourself, though not necessarily always in the context of self-sacrifice. Sure, it’s a crazy way of interviewing for these attributes, but it’s not like people don’t lie on their resume, and also, the Detective Agency was established early on to be full of crazy people. You must be this bugfuck insane to join, if you fail the vibe check you die, sorry!

In all seriousness, I think the concept of living, and in particular, having a reason to live, are a major part of Bungou Stray Dog’s themes, and changing it to suit my own opinions better would probably drastically uproot whatever message Asagiri wanted to send, whatever feelings and opinions of his own that he injected into the characters of Atsushi, Dazai, Kyouka, and the like. Even if I myself do not fully agree with the narrative, I still think its okay to have media that tells a different feeling, shares a different experience, and presents a different opinion.

Anyway, this got really long, sorry I was too lazy to include many embedded pictures to break up the text walls. If you read this far to the end then I appreciate and love you dearly, hopefully I made some degree of sense and didn’t just sound like I was rambling out of my ass.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #nakajima atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #izumi kyouka #lucy m #bsd women #bsd meta #bsd analysis #anonymous #answered

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draconixiaa · 3 months

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dream's mask and symbolism

recently (or rather, some time ago, at this point) i saw a post on the symbolism over dreams mask but i felt awkward just putting my own opinions on a reblog so my spiel will appear here:

the purpose of a mask is to hide and/protect someone's face, whether it be about identity, physical image, or safety during a pandemic. thus, a person using a mask has something to protect: usually one of the three aforementioned concepts.

the mask: whole

cdream, his skin, obviously does not have a mask, but the characterization of him having a mask originates from cc!dream's facelessness. the popularity of that concept made it so that it is popularly accepted that cdream dons a mask wherever he goes, and the fact that his skin does not change much throughout the majority of the server also helps in the wide acceptance of this theme.

therefore, we establish that cdream wears a mask throughout the majority of the dsmp, up to ctommy unmasking dream during his disc confrontation and cquackity doing the same in prison, and then also after the prison arc until the very final lore stream.

physical image

cdream hiding his face means that he has something to hide & protect, and in literal terms, this would be his physical image. when someone wears a full face mask, no one would be able to know what they truly look like, and this gives them an element of mysteriousness, and in cdream's case with the simplicity of his mask, allows him to be even more terrifying. this also leads to my second point: by hiding his physical image, no one would be able to see how his appearance changes over the course of the storyline.

characterization

cdream's character changes drastically throughout the storyline of not just the disc saga but also with l'manburg/manburg/pogtopia/etc and the prison arc. he begins with pure intentions, ends with the same intentions, but all throughout, his method of reaching his ultimate goal changes: from manipulation, to war, destruction, and self-sacrifice, etc, etc. he becomes more and more desperate, more and more willing to do whatever he can to achieve his goal. he also initially refutes that he is a villain, but then changes to embrace that role more and more.

meanwhile, cdream is wearing a mask. his physical appearance does not change much; people are able to keep on easily believing that cdream is a powerful and ruthless character without much emotions. oh right, masks also hides someone's faces. literally and figuratively, as he further embraces his role as a villain, cdream dons a physical mask and a verbal one to distance himself from the server to be seen as such an evil character.

this image of a powerful and evil character is what the masks does for cdream. he (or this image of him) is everlasting, almost like a higher being, and a malicious one at that.

characterization II

but, in all truth, cdream is very vulnerable. for as much as he claims that he has destroyed his attachments, these very feelings of protection and homeliness are what drives him to do what he says and does, especially as revealed during the dsmp finale. he changes so much behind that mask.

the mask: destroyed

as mentioned above, this occurs arguably on two occasions: the disc confrontation or also in prison. both have similar but also different implications.

disc confrontation

it is at this finale that ctommy gets his moment; he shines by breaking away cdream's protective shell and getting his rightful vengeance by killing him twice before sending him to prison. he pressures cdream with the presence of the server to take off all of his armor, and proceeds to kill him. for some fans, the armor represents cdream's mask-- particularly the helmet-- since he is always seen with his armor on in the server. as is with almost every other pvp-oriented person on the server, but ive digressed. taking off the armor is part of taking off that which is hiding what is inside cdream: his physical body, and his well-being. perhaps in the scene where he is compelled to throw his armor into the hole is part of him letting go of his image of a tyrant, but personally, i'd disagree, since the disc confrontation was all planned and organized by cdream; the armor, perhaps, is just the first layer.

the confrontation was all supposed to be under control-- his control. the armor and hole scene, cdream probably would've predicted; he went along with ctommys commands without much resistance, and honestly, this moment is just as symbolic to ctommy as cdream. just as cdream is pretending to let go of his image, or his powerful image is forcefully shoved off of him: ctommy is doing to cdream what he did to ctommy. this is the retribution of the golden rule: treat others how you'd want them to treat you. just as how cdream stripped ctommy bare of all his friends and protection in exile, thus also ctommy to cdream of his items and the power that he held from having them, including both the advantage in pvp and his frightening image. dream probably knew this was going to happen, since thats what you do when you want to kill someone. but, after the armor and the hole scene, ctommy kills cdream-- once, which was alright, fine, he also knew this was going to happen, and then twice. by the time he came back after his first death, cdream was screaming for mercy.

the cdream deaths are also widely interpreted as him losing his mask. or at the very least, it cracks. maybe ctommy was merciful enough to leave the last bit on, or maybe it was all shaken off as cdream begged and pleaded to be let to live-- and then the reveal of the revive book in his hands. but before that, when cdream was being killed: this is the physical shaking off of his very precious lives, the two extra chances he has at living, something preciously irreplaceable. thus, cdream realizes that the situation is spiraling out of control. he has to time this very well, between satisfying ctommy's anger and the reveal of the revive book, as well as his life. this is a gamble on his life. at that moment, cdream is showing his own true desperation, freed from his mask out of fear of death, freed from his mask by ctommy (the very person he sought to control, and the very person seeking to destroy him). look at the irony!

prison & cquackity

perhaps the mask also represents the control the cdream believes that he has over his surroundings. in the prison, cdream is either maskless (going with the above scenario), or half-masked (for cquackity to finish destroying).

either way, cdream's maskless-ness represents how he has no protection, no outer image, nil, none. this protection manifests itself in cdreams mind as the perceived control he has over situations because of the image he believes he has created for himself, because with this villainy, he can control the movements and actions of others. in the prison, though, when he is fully unmasked, he is all open for his visitors to see and tear open and look for themselves: who cdream truly is. maybe this is a good thing, that people will be able to see his true self-- not a villain, but a man with hopes and dreams. thus, when cquackity comes around, what he does is tear cdream, already unmasked, further apart. there is no more armor to protect him, and inside the prison, all thats left of cdream is his real body, and his real mind. and by real i mean unmasked, and not faked.

i like the other interpretation better though: that cdream goes into the prison half-masked. he still has a semblance of control, because he has punz, and technoblade, right? he planned for himself to go to prison... but what he didn't plan for was cquackity's deal with the warden. this is when he loses the rest of his mask, because this is when he loses complete control over not just the situation, but what happens to his own body, and he also can no longer influence other people, because he has no more power. he's being starved, tortured, and confined in a box with no escape nor contact with anything outside the prison; when cquackity comes, csam shuts down the ability for anyone else other than cquackity to visit cdream. so this, the point when he loses the rest of his physical mask is the same as the point when loses the rest of anything, any thing else that he could possibly have control over.

the mask: re-made

after prison, what does cdream do?

cdream gets his armor again, and he puts his mask back on. this mask physically and symbolically hides the effects of the prison on his being: the scars of both the body and the mind. he goes back to being powerful, being a big bad end-game boss, hiding in his mighty prison of which no longer traps him but is his safe place (a whole analysis post on the prison can be made holy) but also to others, the evil villain's lair... cdream resumes his status quo from before the prison. but, he is Not Alright underneath the mask-- but who can tell? who would want to tell, and try to see underneath the mask?

because on the server, there aren't many people who are willing to uncover the mask that cdream has laid over himself, the act that he puts on to be a villain in order to achieve his goals. part of the reason why cdream's 'mask' never gets 'taken off' is because no one cares enough about the true him-- and funnily enough, the only four/five people on the server are: cpunz, ctechnoblade, ctommy, and cquackity. and chbomb lmao. but thats besides the point: half of the people care about his "true self" because they are friends and close allies, while the other half want to reveal it to be able to hurt and destroy him. everyone else only think too shallowly about him: to them, cdream is an evil character harboring evil intentions, and thus the reasons behind said intentions are also similarly evil-- because they need a face to despise.

but its important to note that it isnt just cdream aiming to make himself a villain; it is everyone else as much as he. it's like a negative feedback loop, and i also want to point out that it was all started by cwilbur, who was the first to antagonize cdream as a major villain.

so, both during and after the prison, this feedback loop is why the villainous image of cdream persists. during the disc confrontation, all that happened was that the people were shown that cdream is not strong but weak. yet, just because he's now weak and defeated doesn't mean that the shadow of his villainy won't haunt him or the other uninvolved server members.

the mask: the end

at the very last stream, what is known as the dsmp finale between cdream and ctommy: something shifts. at the very end of the stream, after they argue and argue and argue, trying to get the moral upper hand, tommy trying to gain sympathy, displaying to the world all their differences and oppositions as if they can never, ever agree... ctommy gets killed in the heat of the argument. he gets revived. and he undergoes a revelation.

here, ctommy is very crucial to the moment because he gets dream to take off his helmet, which, in that moment, likely represents cdream's mask. because it is only after that moment that cdream starts talking about the real reasons why he's doing stuff, that he wants everyone to be a happy family, just like how he did privately to punz on the night after the butcher army. here, cdream starts being genuine; he asks: "is it not too late?" to his greatest nemesis.

here, the mask represents all the false narratives that he put forth, and perhaps all the sins that came along with them, and it reveals him: he who did evil for the sake of good, he who sold his soul for the world, he who told his friends, showed his friends, that he is evil-- for the sake of all of his friends and their friendship. it reveals him, as a man, his true face and physical appearance, taking off a bit of the armor that protects him.

this moment where cdream takes off his mask and starts asking if its possible for change is a culmination of cdream and ctommy's character: mutual understanding and hope.

the mask is like a wall that prevents cdream from seeing eye-to-eye with anyone, from reaching mutual understanding from anyone (except for cpunz ig, who supports him no matter how evil he is). by getting cdream to taking off the mask, he gets cdream to reveal the truth, but also understand that there is hope for the future. a better future.

(we dont talk about the nuke)

cdream personally taking off his mask during this time also directly contrasts with how ctommy and cquackity forcibly takes it off of him. there, they are removing the illusion of control cdream has-- to the people of dsmp, and then to cdream himself; yet, despite having everything taken away from him, he still holds close to his heart his ultimate goals. but, at the nuke finale, it is cdream deciding to reveal his thoughts and feelings himself, and this is crucial to his character's growth. even with all his armor on and cpunz is with him, he takes off his mask, his emotional barrier of sorts, to be able to tell the truth: his truth.

Conclusion

cdream's mask has been crucial to his characterization throughout the different arcs and storylines. while in physical depictions, it is an object that hides and protects one's physical appearance, it also affects the image of his character by providing an element of mystery and notoriety.

through the disc confrontation with ctommy and the torture cdream experienced by the hands of cquackity and csam, we can see them forcibly remove cdream's mask and do away with whatever semblance of power and control cdream has-- both over the people of the server, as well as cdream himself.

when cdream returns from the prison, it's as if nothing had changed; this is because of how established his image already is, and this emphasizes his loneliness (with the exception of cpunz) and continues to cast shadows on the rest of the smp.

finally, in the dsmp nuke finale, cdream ultimately decides to take of his mask on his own and reveals his intentions, displaying strong character development and hope.

tldr: the mask protects cdream, assists in his spiral to evil, and is also a tool used to represent changes in his characterization and his situation.

#cdream #cdream analysis #drac thinks #this is 2500 words wtf #dreamwastaken #writing #dsmp #dreamsmp #this is kinda my first time writing a full length analysis essay on something not school help #oh well hope it makes sense

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zabiume · 8 months

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Abt your most recent post. How did ichigo hurt orihime? Genuinely curious bc my media literacy skills are a little lacking and I'm wondering if this is a "between the lines" interpretation, or if I missed something major bc of my dumb b*tch disease

chapter 193 in the manga, for example, but mainly scattered moments throughout the SS and HM arcs where he asks her to stand back a lot of times.

HOWEVER, i know people on all sides tend to get oversensitive about this for dumb shipping reasons so i'll reiterate: neither of them are really at fault here since they're both teenagers and behave like teenagers in that respect but also: this was a part of both their character arcs! ichigo being overprotective is treated like a character flaw by the narrative (where all his friends have been pretty mad at him for not trusting them), and orihime at this point in canon hadn't trained nearly enough to take on an arrancar all by herself! he's not wrong for wanting to protect orihime because a) he's afraid she won't be able to protect herself and b) he's like that because he's afraid of losing any more people in his life. however, orihime isn't wrong either because all she's ever wanted is to be useful and, no matter how well-meaning ichigo might have been (or even how right he might have been!), it still hurts her to be "useless" when all her friends are fighting. and ichigo isn't the only one! you might remember that uryu, urahara, and to a lesser extent chad, have encouraged her to step back when things get intense. orihime's internal voice at this time was not great, she was already in a bad headspace and to have her worst fears confirmed out loud (that she's "not needed," she'll never be an equal to her friends, never be able to contribute in ways that matter) by her own friends, especially ichigo, gave her self-esteem a major blow. they didn't mean to hurt her, but since this is something she's always struggled with, it hurt her nonetheless.

moreover, HM & FB arcs all run on the idea of trust between ichigo and his friends and we know that in his insistence on doing everything himself, he tends to build a big wall between himself and everyone else – one he works really hard to keep up. what's more, ichigo tends to be really irrational sometimes due to his overprotective behavior, and this is clearest in the HM arc where he does ridiculous things like throwing himself in between orihime and grimmjow's ceros when she already had her shield up, and saying ridiculous things (like telling uryu to protect her with his body if her shield doesn't work). orihime very obviously does not want to see ichigo killing himself to protect her, even if ichigo himself views self-sacrifice as a love language.

the reason all this works out is because orihime actually gets to talk to him about this during the fullbring arc, when this moment happens:

ichigo can be a little lost in his own head sometimes, but he's not unreasonable. seeing orihime's power boost and learning that she and chad have been training specifically not to be a drag on him in battle wakes him up and he's been more trusting of both of them since! he's matured a lot over time and you can see that most clearly in TYBW where he doesn't behave as irrationally as he used to when it comes to protecting his friends. and the reason ichigo & orihime's arcs-long conflict works out well is because it actually resolves in the end, with ichigo counting on orihime to protect him!

the great thing about this moment is that it's a BIG MOMENT for both of them. ichigo getting over his debilitating fear of losing people and trusting orihime (someone he was overprotective of) to protect him speaks to how much he's grown! and orihime, who was hardly strong enough to keep up in battle, is finally trusted to have ichigo's back. i don't think he'll ever realize how much that means to her, or maybe he does and that's why he finally asked her to go with him :')

#their sub-plot is actually one of my favorite long-running sub-plots in the series #but it's hard to actually enjoy it for what it is amidst all the noise that comes from shipping discourse #i know ih fans tend to get overprotective of ih & it's understandable considering just how loudly against orihime & ih people used to be #when the manga was ongoing - and maybe even now idk the wider b/leach fandom doesnt exist to me #but the great thing about ih has always been the set-up and the resolution. the conflict in their dynamic is believable for both characters #and it creates some great hurdles for them to get over together!#stories with conflict are interesting!#which is all to say please dont take this as me saying ichigo is a bad person! he's my favoritest boy & he deserves every good thing ever💖#he just had a few road blocks along the way just like everyone else!#asks #ichihime

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withthewindinherfootsteps · 2 years

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Wei Wuxian and the nice, broad road: or, part two of why constantly self-sacrificial Wei Wuxian takes bother me so much (part one):

(Long post ahead)

Something that’s very prevalent in self-sacrificial Wei Wuxian takes, or self-sacrificial takes on any character, is that they’re not only self-sacrificial… they’re also an idiot. As in, they don’t think things through, the first impulse they have when they see anyone in danger is to throw themselves in front of them even if there’s a way that means neither have to get hurt, and even if that person’s not in any serious danger at all. And that combines with the common take of self-hatred and extremely low self-worth to form the image of someone who’ll throw themselves recklessly at any danger with no consideration for any consequences or alternate paths, and are almost seeking to throw their life away.

The thing with Wei Wuxian, though, is that he’s not seeking to throw his life away at any given moment. And, more importantly to this meta, he’s clever and he’s capable. If he can find another way out of it, and the majority of the time he probably can, he’ll choose that option. What I’m trying to say is that, if he sees someone being ambushed by a monster, he’ll distract it, fight it himself, and almost always win. He won’t throw himself in front of its claws.

However, the problem that arises with the story of MDZS is that there is no other way out. The thing endangering those under his protection isn’t some monster he can fight, it’s the corrupt structure of the society itself. Those in power are only able to manipulate its threads by virtue of their birth and therefore status (almost everyone), or in rare cases by using that structure to your own advantage and engaging in very corrupt methods to clear your path to the top (Jin Guangyao). And neither of those are an option for Wei Wuxian, the ‘son of a servant’ who will never join in with that corruption.

(And he isn’t the only person we see in this situation. We see the same thing with Mianmian, and she can’t oppose this either — the best thing she can do is walk away.)

Wei Wuxian actually summarised his situation very clearly, when talking to Lan Wangji at the Burial Mounds:

A moment later, Wei WuXian spoke up, “Lan Zhan, you asked me if I intended on staying like this from now on. To be honest, I’d like to ask something as well. What can I do apart from this?” He continued, “Give up the demonic path? Then what about the people on this mountain? “Give them up? I won’t be able to do it. I believe that if you were I, you wouldn’t be able to do it either.” He continued, “Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on. A road where I could protect those I want to protect without having to cultivate the ghostly path.” Lan WangJi gazed at him. He didn’t reply, but both of them knew the answer in their hearts. There was no such road. No solution existed.

- Chapter 75, EXR translation

This is in regard to Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation, but the same rings true for everything else he does at cost to himself in the story. Not sacrifice his Golden Core? Then Jiang Cheng, whose whole sense of self-worth was dependent on being a cultivator, would waste away with no spiritual power and no will to live*. Not save the Wen remnants? Then they’d stay in the labour camp and live and die in horrendous conditions. Not painting the spirit attraction mark on himself to save everyone else at the Second Siege? Then they’d die, because what else could be done? And it’s important to know that he didn’t do it alone here, he had Lan Wangji help defend him as well.

So he technically did have an option every time, yes. But that one option was letting others get hurt, and he’s not going to do that. There was no third path. There was no nice, broad road.

But we see that that broad road is very much one Wei Wuxian would like to walk on.

Wei WuXian smiled, “Why would I leave the nice, broad road, and walk on a single-plank bridge on a dark, narrow river instead? If it really is that easy, people would have already walked on it.”

- Chapter 14, EXR

Again, this refers to demonic cultivation. And again, this can be adapted to every other action he takes. Because there are plenty of situations when there is a third option. And in those cases, he finds the way around it! Wei Wuxian is incredibly smart, incredibly creative, and an incredibly quick thinker — none of us in the fandom should forget that.

And thankfully, there are examples of this in the text. Let’s take a closer look at one specifically: defending Mianmian in the Xuanwu’s cave**, and stopping her being used as bait.

(Long passage ahead)

Watching his subordinates fight with [Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan], Wen Chao looked as if his mood was much better. He spat, “Talking back to me—what did you think you are? People like you really do deserve to be killed.”

A grinning voice came from the side, “That’s right. All those who oppress others and do evil relying on the power of their clan should be killed. Not only that, they should be beheaded for tens of thousands to revile so that those to come would beware.” Hearing this, Wen Chao spun around, “What did you say?” Wei WuXian pretended to be surprised, “Do you need me to repeat it? Sure. All those who oppress others and do evil relying on the power of their clan should be killed. Not only that, they should be beheaded for tens of thousands to revile so that those to come would beware. You heard it this time?” Hearing this, Wen ZhuLiu seemed to ponder as he glanced at Wei WuXian. Wen Chao erupted, “How dare you say such absurd, outrageous, and pretentious words!” Wei WuXian first lifted the corners of his mouth with a ‘pfft’, then immediately burst into unbridled laughter. Under everyone’s shocked eyes, he laughed so hard that he was out of breath, clutching Jiang Cheng’s shoulder as he spoke, “Absurd? Outrageous? I’d say you’re the one who’s all of those! Wen Chao, do you know who was the one that said those words? I’m sure you don’t, do you? Let me tell you. This was said by the most, most, most famous cultivator of your sect, the one who founded the entire thing, Wen Mao. You dared say that one of your ancestor’s remarks are absurd and outrageous? Well said, very well said! Ahahahahaha…” Within the Quintessence of the Wen Sect that had been given out, even the most ordinary of smalltalk comments could be analyzed over and over, their deep meanings boasted with exceptional extravagance. Let alone memorizing it well, Wei WuXian felt disgusted after just flipping through its pages. However, he found this quote of Wen Mao’s quite ironic, which was why he could recall it with ease. Wen Chao’s complexion switched between red and white. Wei WuXian added, “Right, what was the accusation given to those who insult famous cultivators of the Wen Sect again? How should they be punished? I remember that it was execution, right? Yes, very well, you can go die now.” Wen Chao couldn’t hold himself back any longer, unsheathing his sword and lunging at Wei WuXian. With that, he lunged out of Wen ZhuLiu’s range of protection. Wen ZhuLiu had always been used to defending against the attacks of others. He had never expected Wen Chao to leave by his own will. Facing the sudden difficulty, he somehow couldn’t react in time. On the other hand, as Wei WuXian provoked Wen Chao, he was precisely waiting for the moment of uncontrollable rage. The smile by his lips didn’t falter at all as he attacked with the speed of lightning. In a split second, he had snatched the sword and reversed the situation, subduing Wen Chao with just one move! One hand gripping Wen Chao, he leaped a few times and landed on one of the islets above the pool, keeping his distance from Wen ZhuLiu. With his other hand he pressed the sword onto Wen Chao’s neck, warning, “Nobody move. If you’re not careful, I might just decide to let some blood out of your Young Master Wen!” Wen Chao screeched, “Stop moving! Stop moving!” The disciples surrounding Lan WangJi and Jin ZiXuan finally ceased their attacks. Wei WuXian shouted, “Core-melting Hand, you’re not moving either! You know how the temper of the Wen Sect’s leader is. Your master is in my hand. If he loses just one drop of blood, then not one of the people here should hope to live on, including you!” Wen ZhuLiu put his arms down as Wei WuXian had expected. Seeing that the situation was under control, Wei WuXian was about to speak when he suddenly felt that the entire ground below him had trembled.

- Chapter 52, EXR

Important things to take away? Firstly, it’s Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan who are the ones standing in front of the metaphorical (and literal) blades here, risking their own well-being and health for someone else to protect them directly. That’s their first instinct. Wei Wuxian’s is not***. His thought process is this: taunt and enrage Wen Chao, the powerless person in charge, into leaving the protection of the actually powerful person everyone’s scared of, and then use the opportunity of him being undefended to use him as leverage to get Mianmian free****. And he succeeds in that! It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know about the Xuanwu’s presence, the Wen clan were very deliberately keeping that information a secret.

That is very well thought through, especially for such a short timespan, and especially considering the actions of the only other two people who tried to protect Mianmian — a protective stand-off that they very probably could not win, with the likes of Wen Zhuliu around. I repeat: they are the ones standing in the way of the blade here. Wei Wuxian is not. This is what Wei Wuxian does in situations like these, this is how he solves problems! He’s not unthinkingly reckless, he is not a self-sacrificial idiot.

…not that I’m saying Lan Wangji is one either, but he’s never portrayed as one anyway.

And just for the fun on it, let’s take a look at the branding scene too, to see if we can pick anything else up:

Just as he was about to let go, a cry suddenly came from behind him. The cry was full of fear. Turning around, Wei WuXian saw Wang LingJiao give orders to three servants. Two of them brutishly held MianMian in place, clenching her face, while the other raised the branding iron in his hand and thrusted it toward her face! The tip of the iron was so heated that it sizzled and shone with red light. Wei WuXian was some distance away from them. Seeing what was happening, he immediately shifted the direction of the arrows and let go of the string. The three arrows shot out at once and hit each of the three people. Without making a noise, they fell backward onto the ground. Yet, before the bowstring even ceased to vibrate, Wang LingJiao suddenly grabbed the iron that had fallen as well. Gripping MianMian’s hair, she again shoved it toward her face! Even though Wang LingJiao’s level of cultivation was extremely low, her move was both swift and cruel. If she really did it, even if MianMian could keep her eye, her face would be completely ruined. A woman like her, even under such dangerous circumstances where people were prepared to flee at a moment’s notice, still kept her persistent thoughts of harming others! All of the other disciples were setting up their arrows, handling the beast with all of their attention. Nobody was near these two. There were no more arrows on Wei WuXian and there wasn’t enough time to grab someone else’s. Under the urgency of these circumstances, he rushed over, one hand striking away the arm that Wang LingJiao grabbed MianMian’s hair with and the other landing forcefully at her chest. Having undertaken the strike, Wang LingJiao heaved up a mouthful of blood and flew backward. However, the tip of the iron had already pressed onto Wei WuXian’s chest.

- Chapter 53, EXR

…as you can see, there’s a lot more to this than blindly rushing in front of the branding iron. Again, what can we take from this?

One, Wei Wuxian’s first instinct, again, is not to take the strike directly. He shoots the three servants holding down and actively trying to brand Mianmian, eliminating the threat to her. Wang Lingjiao at the time was just giving orders, she wasn’t an active threat — everyone else was fighting the Xuanwu, there was nobody else to give orders to.

But, surprising him, Wang Lingjiao immediately picks up the branding iron. And, like the servant, she aims it at Mianmian’s face. As Wei Wuxian remarks later, that’s a mark she couldn’t hide — her face would be ruined forever, and considering the setting of this world where marriage is extremely important to women society-wise, it would have lasting consequences for Mianmian’s whole life. Marks to the chest, at least you can hide.

And nobody else is focusing on Mianmian, and there’s no time for Wei Wuxian to call for help from anyone else. Ranged attacks aren’t an option, since he’s out of arrows. And only then does he rush straight to Mianmian, to save her directly.

And even then his first thought isn’t to throw himself in front of the iron! His aim in that instance is to strike the iron away from Wang Lingjiao, and to strike Wang Lingjiao away from Mianmian. And during that time, because both hands were occupied, the iron strikes his chest, and he gets the brand mark. Taking it for Mianmian was not the main aim here — though he was willing to risk it.

So, what do we learn from this?

Wei Wuxian’s first instinct is not to put himself in danger to help others. It’s to get the danger away from the one in danger, and then deal with it himself — something fully within his capabilities.

He admits he’s talking “nonsense” when telling Lan Qiren about demonic cultivation for the first time, probably to get himself kicked out of class, but what he says is actually very true when it comes to how Wei Wuxian generally solves problems.

Wei WuXian replied, “There are some things that have no use after liberation, so why not find a way to make use of them? When Yu the Great tamed the flood, obstruction was the inferior method, and redirection was the superior.

- Chapter 14, EXR

He doesn’t stand right in front of it, he doesn’t directly obstruct it from reaching its target by standing in-between the two. He redirects it to somewhere else.

And this pattern rings true throughout the book. Dealing with the fierce corpse of Madam Mo? Use his own corpses to get her attention instead. Same rings for the Dancing Goddess of Dafan Mountain, who’s currently advancing on Jin Ling? Same thing, summoning corpses — he doesn’t attempt to place himself in its way. He’s someone who thinks around the issue, calculates a plan (in a very short time, may I add), and much more often than not, succeeds! He’s willing to risk his life, but that is not the primary aim. Of course, when there are only two options — directly protecting or letting others get hurt — he chooses to protect. And since that is the case with his two biggest decisions in the story, so many people see that as his default instinct when it comes to dangerous situations. But when there is a nice, broad road to walk on, where nobody at all gets hurt, he finds that, and follows it, gladly.

Wei Wuxian is not a self-sacrificial idiot. He’s a clever, righteous person who’s willing to sacrifice his life for others, but who can and will take another option if one exists. The two are not in any way the same.

—

*I feel like this is an important part of the core transfer that’s overlooked, actually — it’s not just “your core is worth more than mine”, (although with the Jiang parents’ promise to protect Jiang Cheng at all costs, a similar mindset may have played a part in this one specific scenario), it’s “your self-worth and meaning of life derives entirely on your core and being a good cultivator, whereas I can live for and enjoy more than that, and won’t utterly lose my will to live if I can’t cultivate, unlike you”. And for all it hurts, he ends up being right (and even invents a whole new path of cultivation out of necessity). That isn’t saying the sacrifice isn’t emotionally painful for Wei Wuxian, though, it is a lot, and we saw that with his thoughts on it at the Guanyin Temple.

**I also wanted to talk a bit about him defeating the Xuanwu with Lan Wangji, but I couldn’t find anywhere to fit it in. Similar to the Golden Core thing, him distracting it while Lan Wangji did the killing isn’t a “your life is worth more than mine” thing. Lan Wangji was the only one who knew the Chord Assassination technique, which was the only way either of them could think to kill the Xuanwu, as any weapons were useless. In addition to that, Lan Wanji’s leg was injured, so he couldn’t swim anyway. The only option left was for Wei Wuxian to distract it, and he was capable enough to survive! And yes, it was dangerous, but the mindset of both of them in that moment was that they had no way of knowing help would come for them, and that their only chance of escape by themselves was to kill the Xuanwu — and you might as well kill it before you die, anyway. For all they knew, both of them would have died if he hadn’t done that, and so whatever happened was worth it. This is not a mindless ‘your life before mine’ mindset, he thought this through.

***He actually did instinctively twitch a little as if to move when Mianmian was being surrounded, but Jiang Cheng held him back. However, he's a much stronger cultivator than Jiang Cheng at this point, and could have easily broken out of his grasp to directly protect Mianmian had he wished to. But he didn't choose that option, and decided, very quickly, to instead do what we see here. As @/rynne pointed out (thank you very much!), that's a clear moment when he's faced with a choice to be self-sacrificial, or solve the problem another way. And he decidedly chooses the latter.

****Actually, Wei Wuxian taunts others into accomplishing his goals quite a lot. He’s not a long-game manipulator like Jin Guangyao or Nie Huaisang, but playing on their emotions to get the result you want in the short term? Look at Lan Wangji and the destruction of the porn book, look at Lan Qiren and getting kicked out of his the class in the Cloud Recesses (when talking about using resentful energy, his own thoughts tell us he’s talking “nonsense”, and clearly wanted to leave the class — this was likely a bid to to just that), look at taunting Xue Yang into talking so he reveals his location in the mists of Yi City. I hardly ever see him doing this in fanon, which is kind of sad, because it’s very interesting definitely something he uses to solve problems (and something people could very well use instead of throwing himself in front of everything!)… and if we have to go there, no, I don’t think that makes him ‘morally grey’ either.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #mo dao zu shi #my meta #debunking fanon wei wuxian the series

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stellagioia · 7 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

I finally have time to sit down and actually reply to this. Once again, thank you @stephmcx for thinking about me. Self-love is still something that doesn’t come naturally to me but I am proud of my writing so I’m happy to share!

Here’s my five favorite fics:

1. One Day More

What if… there was an explanation for Steve’s sudden decision to leave the island? Something he couldn’t share with anyone, not even his best friend?

This is the story that shaved years off my life and made me come to terms — or at least tried to — with the mess that was the series finale. Trying to make sense of what didn’t wasn’t easy, but I needed the boys to be reunited and on their way to something close to happiness. Together, as it should be. I still get feedback about it and it’s probably my most “popular” fic, the one with the most kudos and comments, so it deserved the first spot.

2. E Ho’okō Kuleana (To Do One’s Duty)

When the Governor is kidnapped and her life threatened by a vengeful criminal, Steve ends up making the ultimate sacrifice to save the island.

My one and only attempt at “Major Character Death”. I knew a lot of people wouldn’t read it, and yet I put it out there.

3. Drowning on Dry Land

“I can’t, Lou…” Steve whispered as soon as the woman disappeared from their sight, his voice so quiet that he almost missed it. “I can’t be the guy who shoots his partner. I just—I can’t be that guy…”

This is the first multi-chapter fic I wrote, and definitely one I’m proud of. I was still new in the fandom and unsure about my writing, but the idea of friendly fire wouldn’t leave me alone and Steve was the right character to explore it.

4. The Hardest Place to Be

Short coda to the pilot. Following the events of the episode, this is my take on what Steve might have done during his first weekend back on the island.

A character study of fresh-out-of-active-duty and traumatized McGarrett that picks up right where the pilot ends.

5. Echoes from the Past

Part 6 of the "Rescue Me" series. Sometimes, it's the little things that harm you.

Steve McGarrett and trauma - aka how PTSD can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

Again, I’ve been so removed from writing and fandom lately I don’t know who to tag, so anyone who feels like sharing their work is welcome!

#ask answered #fanfic #h50 #h50 fanfic #writing #self love #authors self-rec

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kalcifers-blog · 7 days

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Dead Mans Switch - A Void Silver/ALTRverse FanFic

Angst, Hurt/Comfort Fic

CW: implied attempted execution, blood, injury, near death experiences, almost major character death (he doesn't actually die but he definitely thinks he's going too) self loathing, self deprecated thinking, major sacrifice

Also implied Sunday x Marvin because I want people to see them in the way I do

Word Count: 1, 643

If you had told Marvin only a year ago that The Magic Circle, the people he trusted the most, would be the ones to put him in grave danger, he wouldn't have believed you.

It was almost like some kind of cruel joke, it rang out in the back of Marvin's mind as the red hot pain of his injuries bled through the fabric of his now bloodstained and sticky clothes. A very small part of him grimaced at the thought of peeling said fabric off his wounds- but a bigger part of him wondered if he would be allowed to live that long.

A sadness and fear blossomed in his chest as Marvin started to come to realise that he is going to die. His mask layed shattered in half in front of him- his aid being stripped away and broken into pieces as the Twins first attack. One that left the left side of his face burning in an agony he couldn't even begin to describe- his left eye filled with red and began to darken. Marvin wondered if he'd be able to see from that eye again if he somehow managed to get out of his situation alive.

The face of one of the Twins- whom he never was able to discover the name of- stared back at him with a cold, uncaring expression. It wasn't even like she particularly cared that he had betrayed The Magic Circle, or her by extension, or that he mattered any more to her than some pest that needed to be dealt with.

He stared back at her with the one eye that could still see with as much sorrow and pleading as he could muster. If the mage had any compassion for the man at any point she certainly did not show it. There was a cruel nothing behind her gaze, something that only cemented Marvin's fate in the form of a stone cold headstone.

He should've been smarter- been more vigilant, consulted and found more allies. He shouldn't have looked into the void of a man in the first place. It wasn't his business and now he was paying the price for it.

He had Sunday- the one person who truly stuck by his side through all of this. He owed Sunday everything for the sacrifice the man made for him, Sunday had everything to lose by putting his trust in Marvin and he did so without a second thought- how Marvin could've ever repaid him he had no idea. All he knew is that, even if he escaped this situation, he'd never be able to.

Sunday was apprehended by the other twin- his magic had a stronghold on the man, forcing him in a stone like stillness, watching the brutal execution take place. Marvin wished nothing more than to spare the man the view, but paired against both of the twins, even at his full ability, Marvin didn't stand a fighting chance.

Marvin was not a pleading man, up until this point there was nothing you could have done to convince him to be vulnerable in any sense of the word. But today was not like most days and Marvin feared what would become of not just himself but of Sunday- and of the people that will no doubt be affected by the man who is void of all space.

Marvin looked back on Sunday- his eyes were glazed over in the same purple glow as the Twins where, his face frozen in horrified shock. It was then Marvin felt the warmth of his own tears sting the deep cuts on his face- It was his fault- all of it- he should've done or said anything, Sunday would've been spared if he hadn't. Marvin didn't want to think of what would come of his friend if he died.

Would they kill him off for helping him?

Marvin couldn't stand the thought- he had to- no he needed to make sure that this would not happen. His fear and sorrow gave way to the last resort Marvin had- a dead man's switch of all mages when they get to a certain level of their ability, only to be used in the most dire of situations and not recommended if you plan on continuing on having magic.

It was a true last resort. Marvin would never be the same if he did this. He would never get back to the level he had spent his entire life building up too if he even attempted this. But how much life does he have left? He's almost dead as it is- it would be the only way he could ever repay his debt to Sunday…

Marvin's magic erupted in a fiery blaze of agony- every last fibre of energy and magic left in him exploded into a wave of electrical rage. Marvin kept his eyes shut, only looking at Sunday to assure himself the spell wouldn't harm him.

There was a look of shock and rage that flashed on the faces of the Twins. The male Twin dropping his hold on Sunday- who collapsed to the ground in anticipation of the spell rushing past him. The spell hit both of the twins as they both attempted to stop Marvin. Neither of which succeeded.

As the magic settled, Marvin fully collapsed to the ground, feeling the life bleed out of him slowly. The pain even started to fade- he couldn't give up now- but he just could not move, he was so tired…

“MARVIN?”

Sunday's voice rang out- Marvin couldn't move or speak to settle his fear, but he felt him roll his body onto his back as his breathing, rugged as it was, came out in slow and painful waves. He felt the coldness of Sunday attempting a healing spell.

"Healing spells always leave such a minty taste at the back of your throat", Marvin thought- as he tried to cough up words to reassure the other with. All he could muster was his blood soaked hand lazily reaching out to the other- it landing on the side of Sunday's face and it stayed there until Marvin didn't have the energy to keep it held any longer-

Healing spells could only work on wounds that the body could naturally heal by itself, the spell essentially only sped up the process. Both of them knew that, it didn't stop Sunday from trying.

Marvin felt the world start to move around him as Sunday picked him up- was he planning on taking him to a hospital-?

The world went blurry…

And then it went dark.

There was a harsh light when Marvin woke up. A blinding light. For a second he almost thought that he was dead and had passed on to the afterlife. But as his vision came too, he was definitely in a hospital bed- a faint droning beeping of several machines he was hooked up to played in the background as he weakly took in his surroundings.

Sunday was asleep- a book half open still in his hand. The desk next to him had a small pile of books, most of them on healing spells- a small few being graphic novels Marvin recognised from his own shop. Had Sunday tried reading to him? The idea pulled at Marvin's heart in a way he couldn't describe- his attention pulled to Sunday himself. His clothes were in a state, bags under his eyes heavy and his demeanour just screamed that the man had barely slept.

The guilt of everything started to set in- even now Sunday was giving more of himself just to help Marvin. Probably not knowing if the man would live or not. Marvin couldn't help but feel a crushing sensation wash over him- he won't be able to protect him now- of course Sunday could protect himself, he was at the same level, if not deserved a higher level of magic compared to Marvin. Sunday was strong and resilient and Marvin knew that.

But the idea of him not being able to do anything to help Sunday- without his magic how could Marvin even begin to protect or to help Sunday.

He deserves better than this- he shouldn't be wasting his time with me- the warmth of his own tears poured down his face. Marvin couldn't help but collapse under the realisation of everything that had happened.

It must've been the sounds of his sobs that woke Sunday up-

“Marv you- oh thank fuck-” Sunday crashed into him in a strong embrace, he held onto Marvin like he was about to slip away again. Marvin clung onto his friend's shirt, all he could do was bury his face into his shoulder and let himself cry.

“You had me so worried- the Twins they've gotten off, I can't track them with a scrying spell so I don't know what they're up too but we're protected right now don't worry. You've been here for nearly a week now by the way..”

Sunday trailed off with a yawn. Clearly his nap hadn't helped with his clear exhaustion at all.

“Why are you here Sunday..”

Marvin asked, his voice broken and hoarse. The look on Sundays face in response pained him-

“You've done so much for me- I don't deserve it-”

“No- none of that”

Sunday cut him off almost immediately.

“Marvin I'm here because I- because I care.”

Sunday pulled Marvin back into a hug. Marvin tiredly accepted it without question. Maybe for just a moment he could let himself feel the warmth of the other man and let himself feel lost in it.

There was an uncertainty in the air. About the twins, the magic circle, the void man, his magicless future- everything. The only thing he could be certain off is the comforting liminality of this moment, just waiting for whatever happens next to arrive.

#jacksepticeye #jse egos #jse #jacksepticeye egos #marvin the magnificent #altrverse #void silver #fanfic #kalcifers blog #kal writes #kals fanfic #altrverse Sunday #marvin x sunday

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