Percy this. Percy that. It was always about Percy Jackson. All the fucking time.
It was always about the Hero of Olympus, the one who defeated Kronos and led the battle of Manhattan, the one who was offered immortality by the king of the gods himself, the one who restored glory to Rome by returning the golden eagle, the one who became praetor of the Roman camp in 2 weeks with limited training.
His Roman camp. Jason Grace's Roman camp.
Percy Jackson had pulled off everything in 2 weeks that Jason Grace wasn't able to accomplish despite dedicating his whole life for duty. 11 years of blood, sweat and tears, simply gone down the drain.
Jason had failed his camp. He had failed his home. Turns out, he wasn't as great as the people of Rome had once preached about him. It was obvious considering the less than warm welcome he had gotten from his so-called “home”.
He received no hugs, no cheers, no “we missed you jason!”, no “I was so worried about you!” or even a single pat on the arm by his “friend” Dakota. Dakota and Gwendolyn hadn't even spared a glance at him.
Nothing. Instead, this new Jackson boy was held up to worship like a god amongst the people who once considered Jason a “hero”.
Jason laughed bitterly. Was it selfish of him to be disappointed with Reyna? With a pang, he got to know that Reyna hadn't sent a single search party out to look for her “best friend”. Not like Annabeth did for Percy, not like Thalia did for Percy.
With a pang, he got to know that the whole camp basically deemed him as ‘dead’ and Reyna hadn't even set up a memorial of remembrance for him. The camp had simply moved on with their new hero. Without a single shred of thought for Jason Grace.
The forgotten Hero. The lost hero. Jason Grace.
These thoughts of doubt gnawed on Jason's mind, slowly eating him up ever since he'd first seen Percy Jackson in those damned praetor togas that once belonged to him.
He didn't dislike the boy, of course not, it wasn't Percy's fault that Hera wiped their memories or switched camps.
But it was hard for Jason to not resent him, or feel even the tiniest amount of envy, knowing that Reyna willingly replaced him with Jackson. Very quickly too, at that. He overheard Octavian blabbing to his lackeys about how Reyna “was head over heels for Percy almost immediately”
“I guess that's it. Maybe I am someone who is easy to replace.” Jason thought, his eyes pricking as he looked over from the flying ship, at the place he once used to call home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jason watched remorsefully as Thalia, Grover, Percy and Annabeth were all gathered at the table in camp half blood, cracking jokes about dam french fries or whatever that meant.
Thalia caught Jason's eyes, staring at all of them from a distance. She smiled softly, and gave him a tiny wave. He weaved his lips into something that was meant to look like a wry smile, but it came out as a slight grimace, as he waved back.
Thalia was so close to Jason, yet so far away.
He knew she loved him, but it felt different. And an annoying, nagging part of Jason had known that Thalia would never be as close to him as she was to Annabeth or Percy.
Ironic isn't it? Jason and Thalia were always connected since they came from the same womb, yet she was closer to Annabeth, a girl she'd found after she had run away from the same woman that had given Jason to the wolves. The same woman who had turned his life upside down by abandoning him.
Thalia had found Annabeth right after she thought she had lost Jason. In a strangely ironic way, Jason felt like he'd been replaced all over again.
Thalia had replaced Jason as a younger sibling with Annabeth without even realizing it, all of this took place mere months after a baby Jason was considered to be dead. This situation had strangely reminded him of Camp Jupiter, how he was replaced by Percy right after Jason was considered “dead” by Camp Jupiter.
This made Jason reach the possibility that if he were indeed “dead”, he wouldn't be missed. People wouldn't bat an eyelash. Since there was always someone better than him. Someone like Percy Jackson, who could easily fill the void Jason would leave behind.
His eyes watered, as he looked at how much fun his sister had with his friends. Knowing full well, that he'd never be able to do the same.
Jason felt ashamed that he had to ask Percy about Thalia’s likes and dislikes, he was thalia’s brother. He was supposed to know.
Jason watched as Thalia quickly hugged the trio, as she left their table to leave with the hunters, not even realizing that there was one person whom she forgot to hug.
Don't take it personally. Don't take it personally. She just forgot. She doesn't hate you. She just forgot. She doesn't prefer Percy over you. She's in a hurry. That's why she forgot. Jason repeated that like a mantra, the only person he was trying to convince was himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“And he rejected immortality!- oh you should've seen Zeus' face!” Annabeth exclaimed to Hazel excitedly, as Percy was blushing at the compliment fountain being poured at him by Hazel and Annabeth.
Jason had always been fascinated by that story, the almighty Percy Jackson getting offered to become a god, by Zeus.
His father. Jason's father, Zeus.
Jason felt stupid and guilty for getting envious, it's not the fact that Percy had been offered immortality, no. Jason couldn't care less about being immortal. It was the person who offered Percy invincibility that bothered Jason so much.
Jason knew that even if he went to the ends of the world to accomplish something, his father wouldn't be able to praise him or even talk to him for a long time.
Zeus and Jason could never be like Hades and Nico, or Poseidon and Percy. That's just how it is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reyna had come to camp half blood for a fun visit. Jason would've been ecstatic in other circumstances, but in this case, he wanted to be as far away from her as possible. Because currently, Reyna seemed to be looking at everyone, but refused to meet Jason's eyes. She seemed to keep her distance as she laughed at something Percy and Piper were saying.
She may as well have just stabbed him, it would've hurt a lot less.
He had truly been naive to believe that he could make amends with Reyna. Now he knew, it would never be possible. There was too much pain mixed with bitterness on both ends. But seeing her get along with Percy reminded him of the old times of friendship he and Reyna had shared. Keyword: had.
Once again, the fates had shown him that Percy Jackson would always be better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Jason Grace lay on the cold floor, coughing out blood. He realized he was alone, he was dying, but he was alone.
Like always. The sickly voice of Gaia, that had once haunted his nightmares, boomed in his head. Jason knew he was hallucinating as a result of blood loss, Gaia is in deep slumber. But that did not stop the voice in his head that was invented by his insecurities. Even in the end, you've been forgotten, Jason Grace. Because that's what you will always be. The second best. The leftover. The pawn who is discarded, after his purpose has been fulfilled. Percy Jackson would always be better in everyone's eyes.
To the Romans, you are simply the one who betrayed his lineage. But Percy is the one who restored glory. He did your job for you.
To the Greeks, you are simply a burden, one whom they were forced to welcome.
To your father, you are merely one of his many sons.
To your sister, you are a stranger.
Jason's resolve to live had weakened, hot tears were streaming down his face as he closed his eyes in defeat, he had come to the painful conclusion that nobody is going to come find his body. Nobody is going to mourn him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh I will always be much better than you at this! Bring it on, dude!” Percy laughed as he striked his play sword lightsaber at Jason's. They clashed.
“You wish, Jackson!” Jason shot back jokingly, as they sparred playfully with toy lightsabers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Jackson, you jerk. You were right after all, you will always be much better than me” Jason laughed bitterly, as he recalled that memory of his sparring session with Percy.
Suddenly everything went black. The life had successfully ebbed out of him.
Little did Jason know, was that someone had indeed come to look for him. Tempest, his Pegasus had come to retrieve his body, but Jason was long gone. People had indeed mourned him. His friends were, indeed, anguished. His sister was, indeed, heartbroken.
Jason's soul parted this world, with the knowledge that he'd always be The forgotten Hero.
The lost hero. Jason Grace.
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𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐈𝐭
P3 - “i know my love should be celebrated.”
P2 - “tell me i’ve got it wrong somehow.”
pairing: f!reader x miguel o’hara
content warnings: angst, lil bit of fluff, relationship negligence, swearing, no happy ending
word count: 569
authors note: thank you for all the notes on this series so far :)
You wake up to the sound of Miguel clattering around the medicine cabinet. You’d fell asleep on the couch last night after your argument and your back ached from the uncomfortableness. Miguel appears in the doorway, with a glass of water and a painkiller, obviously feeling the effects of his hangover. “Did you sleep on the couch last night?” He asks, popping the tablet in his mouth.
“Well, I didn’t have much of a choice.” You reply plainly whilst fixing the pillows on the couch and standing up.
“About last night… look, I was drunk. I didn’t mean what I said.” Miguel says walking over to you and placing his glass on the coffee table. He brushes a stray stand of hair from your face, a big change from the lack of touch the last few days, surprising you. “Can we just forget about it?”
You didn’t want to forget about it because you had meant what you said, but you’re desperate for things to go back the way they were so you just nod.
“I love you.” He says for the first time this week and presses a kiss to your forehead, wrapping his arms around you. You bury your head in his shoulder, inhaling his familiar scent. “I love you too.” You murmur against his shirt.
Something pings and you feel him lift his arm to glance at his watch. “Shit, I gotta go. How about dinner tonight?” He asks, pulling back.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” You agree, glad to be almost back to normal. He pecks your cheek before activating his suit and opening a portal. “I’ll send you the dinner details.” He says before disappearing.
── ⋆⋅ ୨୧ ⋅⋆ ──
After doing your hair and makeup, you change into the dark red dress you brought for tonight. You spray on some of your favourite perfume and pull on a pair of heels before grabbing your purse and car keys. You and Miguel had agreed to meet at the restaurant at 6:45, your reservation at 7. Starting the car, you send Miguel a quick text before reversing out the drive.
Miguel on the other hand, was still in his office. He’d already changed into a suit he’d found in his closet in his private room. He glances at the clock and figures he could probably get another ten minutes of work on his project in before leaving. He pulls on his lab coat on top of the suit to avoid getting any stains on it and starts working on his prototype.
The first time the waitress comes over, asking if you’re ready to order food you say no and ask for a glass of wine, “My boyfriends on his way, he shouldn’t be long.” The second time she comes back you say “He’ll be here soon.” The third time, you just politely smile and ask, “Can I just have another glass of wine please?” At this point they probably should’ve kicked you out if they weren’t pitying you. You send Miguel another text, even attempting to ring him but it just goes to voicemail.
By 7:40, you’d accepted it.
He isn’t coming.
You ask for a check and pay it as quickly as possible, wanting to get out of there. As you grab your purse and stand up, the waitress looks at you and says quietly, “You deserve better, you know.”
You just smile faintly, unable to respond, before walking out.
P4 - “but you tolerate it.”
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Up Poompat Appreciation Post
This is inspired by this post by @clairedaring which almost physically hurt me because it's so sad.
Therefore, I'm reporting for duty to gush about Up Poompat for a minute or two (or ten) because I want to and because Up is amazing and deserves all the praise I can give him.
There's just something about Up that pulls me in. I haven't previously been able to put my finger on it (I'm more of a visual person rather than a verbal one), but I think his portrayal of Ming in My Stand-In clarifies it for me the more I get to see him in it.
It's the way he portrays depth. There's something deeper, something more that goes on beneath the surface of his characters. And he does it again and again. It's most notable for me in Lovely Writer, Hoon Payon, and Step By Step, which are three very different roles.
And, on the subject of variety. This man can play a multitude of different roles and do it convincingly. It doesn't matter if it's as an introverted writer with a kind heart, an obsessive serial killer, or everything in between. He's believable in all of it. He's just that good.
To think that this loveable cutie in Lovely Writer...
Is played by the same actor as this frustrating, self-absorbed idiot in Step By Step...
Which is played by the same actor who portrays this spoiled rich brat who's always pining after what he can never have, and does so convincingly, speaks to Up's versatility.
(It took me waaaaay too long to find a gif of this particular moment, lol, but I eventually found it here.)
I personally love Up as Ming in My Stand-In (I'm not influenced by the novel, btw) because he's shown over and over again that he can portray a variety of complex characters. And the way he uses contrasts in his acting (I have no idea if there is a technical term for this because I don't know anything about professional acting), the way he has this sweet demeanor at the same time as he delivers the most poisonous line (and, sometimes you don't realize how poisonous that line was until later) is top notch. The same goes for his ability to portray a domestic life with Joe that feels genuine from Ming's side as well (which he did so well in ep 3) at the same time as we know it won't last due to Ming's jealousy (especially around Joe and Sol) and his pining for what he can't have.
Speaking of contrast, there's also the fact that Up was blessed with his angelic face, which just gives me whiplash every time his character turns out to be the complete opposite. He can literally disguise his serial killer tendencies with that angelic face and demeanor and I feel so manipulated (in a good way) when his character's true face is revealed.
And the way he uses his face to portray different emotions and shifts in emotions is amazing.
And then there's Up. As in, the person behind it all. The Up that actually lives up to his angellike face. The Up that's genuinely sweet and funny (which you can see on his YouTube channel, where he's currently posting videos with Poom but also has a lot of older ones with Kao whom he partnered up with in Lovely Writer). And the Up that sang "You are My Sunshine" in the bts of the second episode of My Stand-In. If that's not endearing as hell, I don't know what is.
This is just a fraction of all the things I love about Up (and I could spend days gushing about his chemistry with everyone he's paired up with and worked with), but since I've already spent two hours on this little post (lol), I'll save that gushing for another day.
Just know that I love Up.
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