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svn-bangtan · 11 months

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Soulmates

»pairing: Yoongi x reader

»genre: BTS | 13+ | Fluff

»wc/date: 4.5k | June 2023

» warnings: Just some fluff

»Summary: Everyone had a soulmate and many find theirs much faster than others. Throughout her years being alive, Y/n is slowly beginning to lose hope in finding her soulmate. After becoming a successful artist and meeting a new client and a stranger at a cafe, things change very quickly.

» notes: THIS ONE-SHOT WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON MY OLD ACCOUNT @loomdiamonds

» m.list | Taglist | Thoughts? Comments? Concerns

Soulmates. The notion of being destined to be with someone, a connection meant to last a lifetime. It's a captivating concept that defies comprehension.

In this extraordinary world, every person bears a unique tattoo on their wrist. It consists of their soulmate's first and middle initials, followed by their last name. For instance, if Y/n's soulmate's name is Tong Sochun, her tattoo would read Tong S.

Discovering one's true soulmate occurs through physical contact, such as a high five. When this happens, the wrist tattoo vanishes, replaced by a new one encircling the ring finger, bearing the partner's full name. From that moment forward, they both embark on a blissful journey together.

Simple, right? Well, not quite.

Y/n's tattoo reads Min Y., a constant reminder since her earliest memories of yearning to meet him or her. However, as the years pass, hope gradually slips away.

Recently, she relocated to Seoul, seeking better prospects in this vibrant metropolis. Unfortunately, after spending considerable time here, it feels like an exercise in futility.

Today, she finds solace in a cozy cafe, engrossed in a new book, relishing her well-deserved day off. These are the moments she eagerly anticipates—a chance to escape reality, stepping out of her apartment and immersing herself in simple pleasures that help momentarily forget about soulmates and the complexities of daily life.

A deep sigh escapes Y/n as she briefly diverts her attention from the book, gazing outside at the enchanting view of Seoul. She offers a faint smile, hugging her coffee mug a little closer. For an instant, she glances down at her wrist, tracing the delicate script that has adorned it since infancy.

Despite her waning hope of finding her soulmate, Y/n yearns to experience the same happiness her parents share—a love so profound, nurtured from childhood, and fortified by a single hug in first grade.

It's every girl's dream—to witness her mom and dad, who never had to embark on wild adventures to find their destined partner.

Setting her cup down, Y/n sweeps her hair away from her face, observing as the first snowflakes begin their gentle descent from the sky. Her gaze drifts downward, lost in contemplation.

Out there, somewhere, Y/n's soulmate patiently awaits. Perhaps they ponder the same questions that haunt her. Uncertainty and countless inquiries swirl within them, chief among them being the fear of rejection.

Rejection is a cruel blow, one that cuts deeply. It ranks among the worst acts one can inflict on another, second only to criminal behavior. When you experience outright rejection, your tattoos vanish, and you become destined to never find love again. Even if you were to try, happiness would forever elude you. It's challenging to articulate fully but rest assured, it's a devastating fate to endure.

What if Y/n's soulmate has passed away, unbeknownst to her? The same fate awaits.

Love becomes an elusive concept, eternal happiness forever out of reach. If she never gets the chance to be with her soulmate, life becomes an unrelenting misery. It's an unfortunate reality, one that plagues the minds of all who ponder the enigma of soulmates.

This notion has even crossed Y/n's mind. At twenty-eight, while all her friends have found their soulmates, she has begun to wonder if her day will ever come. Perhaps her destined partner is no longer among the living. Yet, her wrist bears the undeniable mark—a reminder that they still exist, waiting to be discovered.

"What is a lovely lady like yourself doing all alone up here?" a male voice suddenly interrupts, causing Y/n to jump slightly.

She turns her head and finds a tall man with shaggy brown hair, his warm smile directed at her. Returning the smile, she shrugs her shoulders and raises her book. "Just reading, cherishing the simple things."

Nodding, he gestures toward the empty seat in front of her, silently seeking permission to join her. Y/n agrees, and as he settles across from her, her eyes are drawn to his hand. She notices a name etched around his ring finger, and a quiet sigh escapes her. 'Of course, someone as good-looking as him has already found his soulmate,' she muses inwardly.

"You'll find them one day," he remarks suddenly, causing Y/n's eyes to widen in surprise. 'Did I say it out loud?'

Chuckling, he holds up his hand, his gaze fixed on her bewildered expression. "You were staring, so I assumed you were questioning yourself." Y/n offers a faint smile as she turns her gaze back to the window, where the falling snow gradually blankets the ground.

"It's astonishing to think that somewhere out there, my soulmate awaits me," she muses, looking down at her tattoo with a tender smile. "I admit, meeting them is a truly magical experience." She takes a deep breath and glances at the man, finding him already gazing at her with a smile.

"Hopefully, that day comes soon," she confesses, her fingers gently tracing the tattoo. "This waiting game has become unbearable."

The man chuckles in response to her words, understanding etched on his face as he takes a sip of his coffee. Once again, they sit in silence, finding comfort in each other's presence until Y/n breaks the quietude.

"I apologize for my rudeness. I'm Chun Y/n," she introduces herself.

"Chun?" he says, his expression a mix of confusion and surprise. Y/n nods, offering a sweet smile. "Yes, I'm not originally from Seoul. I moved here from Namyang-dong."

He nods, his grin widening. "Well, my name is Hoseok, and I might just know your soulmate," he declares, standing up and leaving Y/n perplexed.

"Wait, what?"

"Chun is a rare last name, right? I don't think I've ever come across anyone with that surname," he explains, prompting Y/n to slowly nod. "Yes, it's more common in Japan, if I'm not mistaken."

Gently taking hold of her hand, Hoseok gazes down at her tattoo, humming in contemplation. "Well, a good friend of mine, who recently returned to back to Seoul, bears your last name and initial on his wrist. He hasn't met his soulmate yet. It's possible that the two of you are destined for each other."

"But I'm confused," Y/n interjects, withdrawing her hand. "Is that why you approached me? Do you do this with many women?"

Hoseok bursts into hearty laughter, a sound that oddly resembles a windshield wiper, shaking his head. "No, I mistook you for my fiancée by accident. You two have a striking resemblance, and when I noticed your mark, I thought I'd explore the possibility."

"Oh, I see..." Y/n says, leaning back in her seat. "So, what now? If I choose to entertain this possibility, how will I meet your friend?"

Hoseok smirks, reclining in his chair and taking another sip of his coffee. "Leave that to me Chun Y/n."

Sometimes, Y/n finds herself plagued by a persistent thought that whispers she may never cross paths with her soulmate. It's as if the universe has singled her out, marking her as one of the unlucky ones destined to live without that profound connection. This notion lingers, casting a shadow of doubt and loneliness over her heart.

Yet, despite occasional glimmers of hope ignited by her encounter at the café, Y/n has learned to temper her expectations. She has grown accustomed to guarding her heart, shielding herself from the potential pain of disappointment.

In this particular moment, Y/n is immersed in her art studio at work, fully absorbed in a new piece taking shape on her canvas.

Suddenly, a gentle knock at the door interrupts her concentration, drawing her attention towards the entrance. Her face lights up with a smile as she sees her boss, Kim Namjoon, stepping into the room, accompanied by an incredibly striking man.

Rising gracefully from her seat, Y/n warmly greets them both, and Namjoon turns towards his companion, ready to make the introductions.

"Y/n, this is Yoongi, my best friend and a producer," Namjoon announces, his voice tinged with pride. "Yoongi, meet Y/n, one of my incredibly talented artists. She's the one who painted that remarkable piece you showed interest in a few months ago."

A delicate blush colors Y/n's cheeks as she gazes at the man introduced as Yoongi. His presence commands attention, and the timbre of his deep voice momentarily catches her off guard. "Thank you," she responds graciously, her voice gentle and composed. "I truly appreciate your kind words, sir."

Yoongi, his eyes seemingly locked on Y/n, offers her a warm smile. "Please, call me Yoongi. I'm intrigued by the story behind that captivating painting," he says, his curiosity evident as he takes a leisurely stroll around her studio, Namjoon following closely behind. Together, they admire the artwork adorning the walls, until their attention is drawn to a copy of the painting that had caught their eye.

With a steadying breath, Y/n prepares to share the tale behind her creation. As she points to the two figures portrayed in the painting, she feels Yoongi's unwavering gaze upon her. She strives to maintain her professional composure, even as her heart flutters with anticipation. Her words flow with passion and depth, painting a vivid picture with her storytelling.

"Beautiful," Yoongi remarks, causing Y/n to momentarily lose herself in his gaze. A deeper shade of pink graces her cheeks, and Namjoon interjects, unwittingly shattering the enchantment.

"Speaking of soulmates, Yoongi here wanted to commission a piece for his own," Namjoon shares, unknowingly pricking at Y/n's delicate hopes. Swiftly, she masks any trace of disappointment and offers a genuine smile. "It would be my pleasure to create a piece for you, Yoongi."

"Hey, Y/n," Namjoon says with a warm smile. "I need to take a quick call. I'll be right back." Without waiting for a response, he exits the room, leaving Y/n alone in the studio.

Just as their connection seems to deepen, a stack of papers held precariously in Yoongi's hands begins to waver, threatening to tumble to the floor. In an instant, a gust of wind rushes through the studio from Namjoon leaving briefly, scattering the papers in all directions.

Reacting with swift reflexes, both Y/n and Yoongi instinctively reach out to catch the fleeing sheets, their hand's mere inches away from touching. Their eyes meet briefly, a fleeting spark of electric anticipation passing between them, hinting at the profound connection that almost transpired.

Yet, their near-touch is abruptly interrupted as Namjoon bursts into the studio, his voice filled with urgency. "Yoongi, we have to go. It's already 3, and we'll be late for our meeting with Jin." Namjoon swiftly exits the studio, with Yoongi following in his wake. However, before he leaves, Yoongi turns back to offer Y/n one final smile. "I look forward to working with you, Y/n."

Returning the smile, Y/n bows respectfully. "Likewise," she replies softly as Yoongi walks away, leaving her once again in the solitude of her studio. A sigh escapes her lips as she settles back into her seat, her gaze fixed upon the canvas before her. "Every time, Y/n," she whispers to herself, a tinge of frustration evident in her voice.

Shaking off her thoughts, Y/n firmly grasps her paintbrush, determined to pour her emotions onto the canvas once more. Stroke by stroke, she channels her hopes and dreams, infusing her art with passion, knowing that one day, amidst the uncertainty that lingers, her soulmate might just find her.

"I'm curious, what prompted your call today?" Y/n asked, taking a sip of her coffee. She heard Hoseok chuckle on the other end of the line as she finished tidying up her workstation and made her way toward the bedroom in her studio.

"Your soulmate, of course," Hoseok replied, causing Y/n to roll her eyes. It had been about three days since they had met at the café, and ever since, Hoseok had been eager to introduce his friend to Y/n to determine if they were potential soulmates.

Unfortunately, due to their busy schedules and Y/n's dedication to her artwork, they hadn't been able to meet yet. Despite Hoseok having a soulmate, Y/n couldn't shake Mr. Yoongi from her thoughts. She knew it was wrong since they could never be together, but she couldn't help but think about him.

"I don't know, Hoseok," Y/n said as she sat on the bed in the bedroom. Mr. Kim, the building owner, had kindly agreed to remodel her studio into an apartment-like space, complete with a sleeping area. Y/n was grateful for this arrangement since she practically lived in her studio more than her actual home.

"Why not, Y/n? He's available tonight, and so are you. It's perfect," Hoseok persisted, causing Y/n to roll her eyes and glance out the window at the weather. "I'm still at work, and even if I go, I probably won't have time to go home and freshen up. Besides, have you seen the weather outside?"

"You're impossible, Chun Y/n, you know that?" Hoseok teased, eliciting a laugh from Y/n. After some time on the phone and a bit of convincing, she eventually agreed to finally meet Hoseok's friend that night. Once she hung up, she lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, contemplating the upcoming meeting.

'Try not to get your hopes up, Y/n. There's a strong possibility it's just a coincidence,' she thought to herself. As she lay there, a knock on her studio door interrupted her thoughts. She got up and opened the door, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of the man in front of her.

"Mr. Yoongi?"

"Hello, I just came to talk to you briefly about the painting. May I come in?" he asked politely. Y/n nodded, opening the door wider for him to enter. She took note of his well-fitted suit and noticed that his hair was now styled in waves instead of being pushed back.

Closing the door behind him, Mr. Yoongi stood in the middle of the room with his hands in his pockets. "So, have you thought of any ideas for your painting for them?"

He paused for a moment, turning to look at Y/n. "Well, I'd love to hear your ideas. I've made a list of possibilities, but I'm not entirely sure."

"I'd love to help you in any way I can. Let's start by discussing how you would describe your soulmate," Y/n said, walking over to her desk to grab her notepad. She heard him sigh as he took a seat on a random chair, capturing Y/n's attention.

"I haven't met them just yet," he said quietly, his words drawing Y/n's full attention. "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's alright, really," Mr. Yoongi replied, looking up at Y/n with a slight smile before leaning back in the chair. "After I saw your artwork—forgive me if this sounds creepy—but I couldn't help but look more and more at all of your pieces. Since starting my career as a producer, I feel like I've lost touch with people, and I stopped actively searching."

Y/n nodded, immediately understanding his sentiment as it resonated with her own feelings. As much as she wanted to meet her soulmate, with each passing day, her hope dwindled, fearing that perhaps they didn't want to be found.

"When I saw your artwork, it instantly made me feel alive again. It made me see the brighter side of things and gave me the courage to give the search another try after all these years," he continued, locking eyes with Y/n.

Unbeknownst to her, her heart began to beat faster. "Thanks to you, I found hope again. With this painting, I want to convey that even during my period of giving up, not a day went by that I didn't think about them. And who better to paint it than the person who restored my hope?"

Y/n smiled warmly, feeling honored by his words. She jotted down some notes in her notebook. "Well, just know that I am truly honored to undertake this for you. Your soulmate is already so fortunate to have you."

They engaged in a conversation, discussing various ideas for the painting until Mr. Yoongi's phone suddenly rang. He apologized and checked the caller ID. "I'm sorry, but I have to meet up with a friend right now."

"That's alright. Let's call it a night," Y/n said, setting her notebook aside as they both stood up. She walked him to the door, and as he was about to leave, his eyes caught sight of a flyer hanging nearby. "You're having a showcase?"

"Yes, it's the day after tomorrow. You're welcome to come if you'd like," Y/n replied, offering a polite smile. Nodding, Mr. Yoongi returned the smile before opening the door. "I'll definitely stop by. See you later. And thank you again for your assistance."

"Anytime, Mr. Yoongi," Y/n said, bidding him farewell.

"Wow, I had no idea you were such a talented artist!" Hoseok exclaimed, his eyes scanning the art gallery where Y/n's showcase was taking place. Y/n chuckled softly and nodded in response.

"Well, to be fair, we haven't known each other for that long," she replied graciously, expressing her gratitude to the attendees. Hoseok seized the opportunity to inquire about her recent date. Turning towards Y/n, he asked, "So, how did the date go? Are you guys soulmates?"

Y/n let out a deep sigh, shaking her head in disappointment. "They never showed up," she stated, her gaze focused on a piece of artwork in front of them.

Strangely, she wasn't as disheartened as one might expect. In fact, she had almost decided not to attend the date herself after her encounter with Mr. Yoongi. "I should probably strangle him," Hoseok muttered under his breath, expressing his frustration with his unreliable friend.

As Hoseok continued venting about his friend's unreliability, Y/n turned her head to the side and caught sight of someone entering the gallery. A light smile formed on her lips for a brief moment before she quickly shook her head and redirected her attention back to Hoseok.

It's not him, Y/n. Remember, don't get your hopes up. His soulmate is out there, and it's unlikely to be you, she reminded herself silently, glancing down at her wrist.

Although Y/n had met Mr. Yoongi twice, she had never caught a glimpse of his wrist to determine their compatibility. In truth, she preferred not to know. She had been making an effort to stop thinking about him, but for some inexplicable reason, she couldn't shake him from her thoughts.

"He's right there. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind," Hoseok grumbled, his frown directed at someone behind Y/n. Shaking her head at his impulsive behavior, Y/n decided to stroll around her exhibit, relishing in the pride she felt for how far she had come in her career.

Painting had always been her refuge, her way of escaping reality, and each canvas held its own unique journey and story. While she never shared those stories with the public, she delighted in hearing people's theories and interpretations of her artwork.

Lost in her own thoughts, Y/n found herself standing in front of her piece titled "Loveless Love." Several people had gathered around it, captivated by its beauty and engaged in discussions. This sight brought a wider smile to her face.

"It's a truly beautiful piece, as I've told you before," a familiar voice spoke, causing Y/n to jump slightly in surprise. She turned her head and saw Yoongi standing there, his gummy smile radiating warmth. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's alright," Y/n replied, her gaze returning to the painting. She could feel Yoongi's eyes on her, causing a gentle blush to color her cheeks as she focused on the artwork before them. Despite the crowd surrounding them, it felt as though they were the only two people in the room.

"So beautiful," Yoongi whispered, capturing Y/n's attention once again. She met his gaze, and in his eyes, she saw a certain look.

Slowly, he reached up his hand, his fingers tenderly grazing her cheek before delicately tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

Y/n's heart fluttered as she gazed up at Yoongi, the man she had come to love deeply. They sat together under the shade of a grand tree, sharing an intimate picnic. Her eyes met his, captivated by the gentle glimmer in his deep brown orbs, and a radiant smile graced her lips.

"Yoongi," she said, her voice filled with affection. "I can't help but wonder... how much do you love me?" As she spoke, Y/n noticed the beautiful ring adorning her left ring finger, engraved with Yoongi's full name.

Yoongi's eyes locked onto hers, and he tenderly clasped her hands. "Trying to extract my wedding vows, huh?" he playfully remarked. "Well, I'm afraid that's top-secret information. But I can promise you, my love for you is immeasurable." His words were accompanied by a light chuckle as he lightly tapped her shoulder.

Unable to contain her joy, Y/n giggled and lightly tapped his good shoulder in return. Leaning down, Yoongi planted a soft kiss on her head, his gaze never leaving her eyes. "Seriously, I want to know," Y/n insisted, a glimmer of curiosity shining in her gaze.

Her expression turned tender as she spoke, her voice filled with heartfelt sincerity. "My love for you knows no bounds. It will endure through rain and sunshine, treating you like a precious diamond and never letting you wander far from my side. Even when distance separates us, you'll always remain in my heart, every second of every day. My love for you will bloom until my very last breath, for with you, I have found purpose and a love I want to show you." Y/n's eyes sparkled as she held Yoongi's gaze, her love pouring forth.

Yoongi's gaze softened, brimming with warmth and adoration. "I remember the first time I saw you," he reminisced.

"From that moment, I knew you were my soulmate. Your presence in your studio captured my attention completely. Your eyes, your smile... they stole my heart the instant you spoke. I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. And to this day, I can't believe how perfectly we were meant to be. You are everything I've ever dreamed of in a soulmate, and now, you are mine. Please never doubt how much I appreciate everything you do for us. You mean the world to me, and I love you with all my heart."

Y/n's cheeks flushed with warmth and delight. "Stop," she exclaimed, her voice filled with a mix of affection and amusement. "That was so cute, it might make me start crying." She covered her face with her hands, feeling overwhelmed by the depth of Yoongi's love.

Yoongi chuckled softly and gently removed her hands, his lips pressing against the back of them. "And if you do cry," he whispered, his voice filled with tenderness, "I'll always be here to wipe away your tears."

Feeling her heart swell with love, Y/n sat up fully, being careful not to bump her head on a tree branch. Their eyes met once again, and the world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in their own little universe.

"I can't wait to marry you," Yoongi confessed, his hand tenderly caressing Y/n's cheek. Her smile grew wider, and she felt an overwhelming sense of joy and anticipation.

Unable to contain herself any longer, Y/n leaned forward and kissed Yoongi with all the passion and love she held within her. The kiss started softly but soon deepened, as every inch of their bodies and souls melted into one another. Yoongi's hands cradled Y/n's face, ensuring the perfect connection, while she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, savoring the warmth of his embrace.

Finally, they pulled apart, their lips still tingling, but their smiles radiant and content. Y/n rested her head on Yoongi's chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat.

Time seemed to stand still as Y/n gasped, returning to reality. Her eyes widened, and she looked up at Yoongi, astonishment etched on both their faces. Slowly, a slight pain emanated from her wrist and left ring finger, drawing their attention downward.

Unbeknownst to them, the entire room had turned their gaze towards the couple, their curiosity piqued. Y/n's wrist tattoo faded away, replaced by a name on her ring finger—Min Yoongi.

"Oh my god," Y/n whispered in awe, her eyes flickering up to meet Yoongi's matching expression.

He is my soulmate. He's who I've been waiting for, she thought, her heart overflowing with joy.

Countless questions swirled in her mind, but before she could voice them, Yoongi took action. In a moment of pure instinct, he pressed his lips against hers, leaving Y/n breathless and captivated once again. She gasped in surprise but quickly melted into the kiss, their connection growing stronger with every passing second.

The room erupted into applause and cheers, but Y/n blushed profusely, hiding her face in Yoongi's chest. His laughter reverberated through his chest as he relished in her adorable reaction. "See, Y/n? I told you I knew your soulmate," Hoseok declared triumphantly, catching the attention of both Y/n and Yoongi.

"He's the one I was supposed to meet?" Y/n asked, her voice filled with astonishment. Hoseok nodded, and Y/n turned to Yoongi, finding the same disbelief mirrored in his eyes.

"Yes, Yoongi, she's the one you stood up last night," Hoseok explained, prompting Y/n to laugh wholeheartedly.

"In my defense, I didn't go because I got caught up in work after visiting you," Yoongi confessed, causing Y/n to smile and playfully shake her head. "It's alright. At least now we know who this painting is for."

Yoongi's eyes softened as he whispered, "Yes, my beautiful soulmate, Chun Y/n." Y/n's heart raced, and her smile widened further. Embracing the moment, Yoongi leaned in for a quick peck on her lips. "Guys, please get a room," Hoseok groaned, earning giggles from everyone witnessing the affectionate exchange.

"Can't I cherish my beautiful soulmate?" Yoongi playfully retorted, his eyes shining with adoration.

"Stop it," Y/n protested, her cheeks flushed with a rosy hue. She looked down shyly, only to be gently guided by Yoongi to meet his gaze once more. "Don't be shy now, Y/n. This is how it will be forever. I promise you," he declared, his voice brimming with sincerity.

"Forever," Y/n whispered, her eyes sparkling with love and excitement. "I absolutely love the sound of that." Their love had found its place, and from that moment on, they embarked on an enchanting journey, hand in hand, destined for a future filled with eternal love and happiness.

#min yoongi #Suga #Yoongi #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi oneshot #Suga oneshot #bts fanfic #bts fic #suga fanfic #yoongi fanfic #bangtan sonyeondan #bts x reader #bts #bts yoongi #BTS suga

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mia-tiny · 2 years

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『 Yunho + Mingi & Poly Threesome 』 | KTB ‘22

⇒ pairing: j. yunho x s. mingi x fem!reader

⇒ smut, friends to lovers trope, polyamory, threesome, oral (f&m receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (big no no)

⇒ word count: 1.9k

💕 view my masterlist here

🖤 view my Kinktober ‘22 masterlist here

⇒ author’s note: these drabbles just keep getting longer so why do i feel like they still could use more fleshing out? maybe a mission for another time.

You aren’t entirely sure how you’ve ended up naked and sandwiched between your two best friends, but you can’t bring yourself to complain as your body tingles with lust. Even though this is the last way you expected to be spending your evening, the feeling of Yunho and Mingi’s large hands caressing each inch of your skin, and their sultry kisses littering your neck and collarbones, is something you now regret not experiencing earlier.

Things between the three of you had been odd for the last few months, which was honestly stressing you out since they kept withdrawing from you and seeming awkward anytime you hung out. Whenever you addressed their abnormal actions, they would just say they are tired or stressed, but you’ve known them long enough to see right through that lie. It’s as if they forget that you three have been inseparable since elementary school, a friendship nearing 16 years of sleepovers and playdates that eventually turned into drunken nights on the town and Netflix binge-watching parties.

You tried your best not to show your anxiety over their behavior, but it had been eating you up on the inside. Yunho and Mingi have always been the most important presence in your life, the people that you can always trust to be there supporting you, comforting you, just having fun with you, and everything in between. If you were to lose them, you aren’t sure what you’d do.

The real shift in dynamics reached its boiling point only thirty minutes ago, however, when they arrived at your place to find you crying face-first into your couch cushion. Of course, their first reaction was concern over what happened to you. Then their second was anger when they found out that your boyfriend of three months broke up with you over text. But their third, comforting you with compliments while also shit-talking your ex, is what quickly spiraled into uncharted territory.

One minute they were telling you that you deserve someone better, and then the next they were offering themselves up as candidates. It was a shock to you, to say the least, when they admitted that they’ve both been in love with you for years, their emotions becoming increasingly difficult to control as you always gushed about your (now) ex to them.

The polyamorous proposal they made seemed ridiculous to you at first, but everything clicked into place surprisingly fast. The more you thought about it, the more you realized just how central Yunho and Mingi are to your existence and how connected the three of you are in every possible way. Suddenly the idea of being with anyone else seemed redundant and you couldn’t deny the overwhelming happiness that filled your heart when they confessed their feelings.

Only in that moment did you realize that the way you feel towards them, the way you have always felt towards them, is pure unadulterated love.

And that is how you’ve ended up stripped naked with your shirtless friends – ahem, boyfriends – pressing you between their bodies, all of you hungry to take this further.

“Bedroom… please,” you request impatiently, needing to become theirs in every way possible.

From behind you, Yunho leans down and picks you up bridal style in one effortless swoop, causing you to yelp in surprise before laughing at his playfulness.

“Wait for me!” Mingi calls as you get carried away swiftly.

“You snooze, you lose!” Yunho calls back with a giddy grin. He plops you down on your – thankfully king-sized – bed and you look up to two eager pairs of eyes, a blush rising to your cheeks from the undivided attention.

“What are you waiting for? Get naked and come here.”

They don’t have to be told twice. As they both remove their bottoms, your mouth falls agape at their considerable size. You guess it makes sense – huge person, huge dick – but the visual is both shocking and arousing nonetheless.

“Like what you see?” Mingi teases as he grabs your ankles and pulls you towards the edge of the mattress. He kneels down in front of your soaking pussy and takes a moment just admiring you before diving his tongue straight into your folds like he hasn’t eaten in weeks. “Fuck, I’ve dreamed of this for so long.”

You can’t contain the soft moans that he provokes as he sucks and laps at your clit expertly. Even Yunho lets out a low groan at the sight of you being devoured by his best friend, his cock begging for attention. He sits on his knees next to your head and brushes some hair from your face.

“Open your mouth, baby.”

His length looks even more intimidating up close, but you are desperate to have them all over you, inside you, part of you. You turn your head in his direction and open up for him to guide his cock past your lips. He doesn’t go far at first, unsure of how much you can take, but you push yourself further down on his shaft in an effort to please him. By the sound that he makes, you’re sure you have.

While you begin bobbing up and down on Yunho, Mingi decides to insert a finger into your tight hole, curling it upwards and stroking along your g-spot. You can’t help but moan around the cock in your mouth, evoking a seductive growl from its owner. The man between your legs has your back arching in pleasure and you bring one hand down to grip his hair and keep him against your heat.

“Holy shit,” Yunho curses from above you as he thrusts farther and your throat constricts on him in a gag. “Do that again.”

You follow his orders, taking him deep enough that you once again choke on his cock just the way he likes it. At the same time, Mingi’s fervor in eating you out has increased and you can feel an orgasm building up rapidly in your core. Only when you are seconds away from release do you pull yourself off of Yunho.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna cum,” you pant, your excitement getting cut short when you are abruptly robbed of all contact and your climax fades away. “Mingi?!”

He smirks up at you and rises from his position on the floor. “Can’t have you cumming yet. You still have two of us to satisfy.”

You gulp, both intimidated and turned on by his statement. “Well then hurry up and fuck me already.”

Yunho chuckles and uses his strength to toss you around until you’re on all fours, your ass pointed in his direction. He glides the tip of his dick along your slit before lining himself up with your hole.

“Careful what you wish for,” he murmurs before pressing into you.

The stretch of your walls as they accommodate his size is more intense than anything you’ve ever felt before. The sensation has you moaning wantonly even as he stills with his entire length stuffed inside.

“Oh my god, Yunho. Please,” you whimper pitifully.

He considers teasing you to make you beg more, but he is feeling just as desperate as you right now and can’t resist the urge to begin pounding into you. His first sharp thrust has you choking on a gasp from the astounding pleasure of it, lewd cries of delight continuing to fall from your lips as he sets a steady pace.

You don’t even notice Mingi coming to kneel in front of you until he is lifting your chin enough for him to slide his needy cock into your mouth. You accept it happily, allowing him to guide your movements since your mind is a little preoccupied processing the euphoric feeling in your pussy.

Both men thrust into you from either end and, although it is intense, it just feels right. It is as if everything finally makes sense and a weight has been lifted off your shoulders that you never even knew was there. The realization that they are now yours, all yours, has you clenching and moaning around them.

“I can’t believe we waited so long to do this,” Yunho admits between the snaps of his hips.

“Better late than never,” Mingi chimes while you gag loudly on his cock. You glance up to see his expression and he smirks. “But from now on, you’re not going anywhere.”

His possessive claim, when combined with Yunho’s unrelenting pace, is just enough to push you over the edge into your orgasm. You aren’t prepared when it hits you, your cunt squeezing mercilessly around Yunho’s dick as you let Mingi fall from your mouth to release your obscene moans.

Yunho pulls out abruptly and strokes himself a few times before he is cumming all over your ass with a contented groan. Your spent body collapses onto the sheets as the two men continue to move in a flurry around you. All you notice is one of them cleaning your backside before you are being maneuvered into a new position.

You come back to your senses as Yunho sits against the headboard and you are laid with your back against his chest, Mingi taking his place between your legs where he lines his cock up with your pussy. Seeing him gaze down at you with an insatiable thirst in his eyes, in addition to the feeling of Yunho kissing your neck and tweaking your nipples, is all it takes to relight the flame of desire within you.

“Can you take one more?” Mingi asks as he hooks your legs over his shoulder.

“Yes,” you answer enthusiastically, your eyes fluttering closed the second he pushes into you. The stretch is just as considerable as with Yunho, who now gently nibbles at your earlobe. “More.”

You moan emphatically as Mingi hammers into your already-sensitive pussy with skilled precision, the tip of his dick poking into your g-spot at a steady rhythm. Your whimpering only quiets down when Yunho turns your head to the side and envelops you in a passionate kiss. His hands continue to grope your chest as you tightly grip the sheets to deal with the surmounting pleasure.

“Shit, you’re so fucking tight,” Mingi grunts as he speeds up. “I’m not going to last long.”

You pull away from Yunho’s lips in a startled gasp as you feel his hand reach down to rub your clit rapidly in an attempt to make you climax first. You stare down at your sex, the sight of both men working so hard to please you sending your brain into overdrive. It is like you no longer have control of your body as it trembles from the strength of the orgasm that crashes over you, white spots dancing in your vision as you can’t even think to breathe anymore.

You only suck air back into your lungs when your lovers pull away, Mingi releasing his load on your stomach with a blissful moan. All three of you are slick with sweat and exhausted now that your carnal desires have been sated.

Yunho grabs some tissues from your nightstand and cleans your tummy before moving you to lay down between the two of them. There are no words needing to be said, the comfortable silence cascading upon the room as you all relish in the euphoric feeling of having finally found what you didn’t even know you were searching for.

In each other, you found your home.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Taglist: @minkysmilk @annaflwrs @han8ul @whatudowhennooneseesyou @aishidaishi

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Enjoy this bonus gif because it is too cute~

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tkblythofficial · 4 months

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Psych anon (I love that I can make a play on words and make it look like psychic lmao, that was such a terrible joke, I'm so sorry).

First, I'm loving that people ask for my input and I'm always here to provide it. Don't be shy, if anyone (including you mod) wants to ask questions or ask me to analyze their behavior I'm here for it.

Anyways, I wish I had a longer video than that one, but with this tiny clip here are a few things that I noticed (please know this is the first time I've seen T with his gf so yeah, I'm going to risk and make an assessment solely on that which isn't something I'd normally do but considering everything I'm going to make exceptions). In this particular case, he's somewhat distant physically from his gf but also seems amused by her antics. However, he was paying more attention at the camera than he was paying attention to her. Maybe it was because of the fact that he knew he was being filmed, but only he and her seem to acknowledge it's existence. I can't make too many assumptions with just this small clip, but I did find that interesting because let's say we compare his interactions with R during interviews. Whenever she's doing something he might fund amusing/sweet/interesting his body language will engage with her and its almost like he forgets he's being recorded so there's that.

Now, let's talk R and J. I had to watch it a few times and I'm still unsure where Rachel's eyes were focusing on. I can't tell if she was looking at some point behind T's gf, if she was looking at J, or somewhere else, but J appears to be as he always seems to be whenever he's with her, not really quite there. Again, R is apparently looking at him while he's drinking and not even paying attention to her. I'm not going as far as saying he's uncomfortable, but he's not fully present in the moment either which seems to be a recurring theme whenever we see him with R.

As for R, she does this little movement of kind of leaning her had back and her eyes follow the same movement. It's almost imperceptible and I had to watch it a couple of times to notice it. Maybe she was trying to get comfortable, maybe her back was bothering her, but tbh it almost looks like she's subconsciously "leaning in" to see what T is doing.

Just right after she does this thing with her mouth that I can't find the word for in English given it's my second language that it MIGHT be a signed of annoyance and frustration, note that I said might. And right after that it's the first time we see her eyes drifting away from that general direction (that's is the one thing I'm still not sure about in when it comes to her pattern of behavior and why she might've done).

I'm so sorry I'm annoying anyone with the amount of words lmao.

LOL @ at the terrible joke, please, Psych.

You’re famous on this blog, people have been summoning you here :)

I wonder who filmed this? It seems like a friend of theirs because they tagged her in the post. Maybe a wrap up party for the film since it was in Berlin too? If it’s their friend then that’s why only T and his gf acknowledge the camera?

Guess T invited his gf to hang out with some of the cast. Hmm.

But yeah, she winks at the camera and then turns to see what T is doing but he keeps his focus on the camera and not her. They have some distance between them too.

To me, R is looking at what T is doing while purposely ignoring the camera and looks amused by T’s face maybe? J, per usual, is clueless and zoned out lol.

Is it just me or does the party have a weird vibe to it? Could be that everyone is drunk and tired lol but everyone is in their own world.

Do you have a guess as to why J follows T’s gf but R doesn’t? They’ve met a couple of times now. Here and for Halloween (they dressed as Scooby Dog)

And you’re not annoying at all, I appreciate long posts!!!! :D

#my answers #about t #about r + j

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lochrannn · 2 years

Text

I see people hoping for a Lila/Diego wedding in S4 and I have thoughts!

I don't think Lila and Diego will get married until their first kid is at least 11 y/o. They'll have one or two more and they know they should get married for legal protection reasons and to be able to make medical choices for each other should the need arise, etc. But until baby Number 2 or 3 is no longer a baby, they just don't get around to it.

Finally, they do and it's a remarkably understated affair for these two. Of course all their family is invited and their new friends, but they've only existed in this universe for about a decade, so their strong roots are limited.

Anyway, their oldest daughter walks Lila down the isle and is so fucking embarrassed by her parents, because they are both absolute blubbering messes from the moment they see each other. Like, ugly crying emotional.

Nobody expected this, but they sob and hiccup their way through the few standard words they have to say and are tightly holding hands through the whole thing.

They get it together afterwards for leaving the church and the photos and they seem actually relaxed and okay again at the wedding party, but then they've both written surprise speeches for each other and set each other and themselves off again.

Lila wrote hers with mostly no swear words but suddenly she feels the need to emphasise every love declaration in her speech with them.

And well, Diego has to give up after his opener is "You're the love of m—m—" and just doesn't get any more words out. So he just hands Lila his written out speech.

There are a few newer friends of theirs who think this is the most romantic shit they've ever seen, meanwhile their entire family is trying their hardest to get drunk as quickly as possible to end the torture. Klaus slips their oldest daughter a shot (but only one).

I told @pepperf about my headcanon and she helpfully added that Diego's definitely been referring to Lila as "my wife" for years and honestly mostly forgets that they aren't married.

#otp: just be gentle #otp: i'm the daddy here yeah you are #diego x lila #diego/lila #diego hargreeves #lila pitts #dielila #the umbrella academy #tua

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jobforameowboy · 10 months

Text

a eulogy for lost messages

I can't figure out how to make a neocities/website for journaling so I'll just post entries here ig lol

cw: mention(s) of death & trauma

The state of social media makes me sad, even as someone who doesn't use it much. It makes me sad seeing friends leave and abandon accounts, or deleting them entirely–not only since this now means it'll be difficult for me to keep up with them (see their daily life, various postings no matter how mundane etc,.) but also because I feel like these are pieces, virtual markings being done away with and simply eviscerated.

They hold something precious to me, as someone with a faulty memory and anxieties that can skew my perception. I've struggled with how to put this into words before, but when your own brain is so unreliable, these sorts of more tangible things (letters, gifts, social media postings even) can be so helpful when it comes to grounding yourself and remembering that you are, in fact, cared about, thought of and loved, that there are good people around you etc..

My brother was visiting not too long ago; we had a good talk, though also a painful one touching on & revisiting our childhood traumas, how we are both now seeking therapy and the mention of our possible diagnoses etc.. He mentioned some things–happier things–as well, such as how I supposedly had an Elmo-themed birthday when I was little, but my response to all of these recollections was just,

"I don't remember that."

You don't?

-and no I don't, in all truth–which, is something that frustrates me to no end. More often than not when someone will mention some event from when I was younger or even a mere few years ago, I cannot for the life of me recall it; the only things I can recall, for the most part, are what wounded me, and so I can only half "re-live" these supposed cheerful moments through the eyes of others.

It is agonizing. And something I've been trying to avoid now, to preserve the happier times in my life going forward–including what could be seen as the most minuscule of happenings, such as a text message or funny tweet from a friend. I rely on screenshots a lot, but I will directly visit profiles and pages of my friends, too. Screenshots, however, aren't always reliable either, because guess what.

I fucking forget to take them.

Do you see what I'm getting at?

I want to remember. I don't want to lose even more. I don't want my happiness to be so short-lived and easily cast into the wind, because my body is broken.

My brain is my enemy, and so I deeply treasure these little things: a log of texts, an exchange of bad jokes between me and a friend, a meme that made me chuckle, a post I was tagged in or being able to revisit a tweet where I first interacted with someone I now love deeply.

It is a loss as I see it, whenever someone in my life decides to terminate an account or page of theirs, though I understand it is their decision, and I respect this wholly; it is a sadness I often keep to myself, because I know it is selfish.

I mourn these websites, I mourn the text(s) I accidentally deleted, I mourn the post I forgot to snap a picture of, I mourn the loss of digital markings of one's existence for it carries the same weight.

The burden of my heart is a very real fear that if I cannot view or look at past postings, videos or such of theirs, I will forget–I will forget the impact they had on my life, I will forget the sound of their voice, I will forget the jokes we laughed at.

I know you were there, but what will I remember? What will you leave behind?

#journal #mace talks zzz

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yors-truly · 1 year

Note

Hello! This is your friendly inquiry to answer this ask with whatever you'd like to talk about right now! Whether that be a story you're working on, something you're excited or worried about, or just something random you happen to know.

All the love,

~ toribookworm ❤️

Ah, I guess I've been more on the lower side these past few days, so I'll spill the beans.

I've been slightly if not highly insecure about the progress of Beyond Time and Space recently. Things haven't really been stable since my family's been in the process of moving and, in the midst of that, losing Nygaard (my phone holding all of my important notes).

The things I want to use are all packed away in a storage miles from here, which includes my sketchbook, my stylus, and many more (which, as an artist who often gets art block, it's very frustrating when the inspiration hits and you can do literally nothing about it).

Then there's the insecurity surrounding my age. I'm a teenager. With my birthday coming on the 20th, that status won't change. Maybe it's just the mindset of "kids wishing they were grow ups" or whatever, but as of very recently, it's been getting to me. I've been motivated and inspired by other indie projects like mine, who have all of these incredible people behind them, helping make a vision into a visual. I would love to do that! I'm already doing that!

The thing is, though, is that I lack connections. I'm pretty much going solo in this. As someone as young as myself (who also has diagnosed SAD and possibly ADHD, little to no experience in such a collaborative environment, zero experience in running a project, and lacking the money and tools actually needed), I'm worried no one will be willing to work with me to bring my thoughts to an audience, let alone allow me to help bring theirs to one. I've been trying to start out small, posting what I enjoy and hoping to make friends along the way, as it would be a dream to work alongside friends more than anything, but it's been doing my mental health more harm than good, in the way that me having SAD cranks my anxiety with in-person interactions to 200% with online interactions. For the longest time, I forgot social media existed (still do sometimes, and I think that's also an anxiety response: repression or something like that? involuntarily forgetting the things that make you anxious), so my activity hasn't been the best anywhere anyway, to begin with.

I guess all of this sums up to me saying "I wish I could do things on my own" in a slightly desperate way. If I had the money - heck, if I had a way of transferring money, because people have been questioning about commissions too (at least they used to; idk where my audience is now, since I've been so inactive) - that would be so useful! I want to be able to receive funds for my own hard work, and give funds to others for theirs! It's all so frustrating X[

(on an unrelated note: now that I've moved, I'll probably end up having to celebrate my birthday with my family instead of the people I love most.)

So, yeah, that's pretty much it. Beyond Time and Space is nowhere near finished, and I guess, in a way, I'm kinda glad I don't have extra hands at the moment. I'd like to have the entire first season written before making any progress on visuals (besides... you know... the ones I already have). It's just gonna take a little longer than I wished, and with everything moving so quickly, it's kind of overwhelming me a little qwq A beta reader or two (besides my brother who kind of just lazily reads through it most times) would be nice, though, but I take forever to write scripts so maybe not XD

Thanks for the opportunity to rant on! I really needed to get this out, I think, and this ask couldn't have been timed any better :star-emoji:

#huesterrants #yeah im making that a tag now #i would tag it with a more genealized tag but idk...#(ah theres my anxiety again lol)#(you know what screw it)#indie struggles #indie writer #uh...#asks #?#i dont usually tag asks but i feel compelled to here for some reason #uh i guess these too #writeblr #writeblr community #writer struggles #huestersvoid #i feel like i shouldve added a keep reading label on this post bc it feels lengthy #but i am on mobile and you cant really do that on these parts so..

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chilei-the-hotsauce · 1 year

Note

Once again, first OC that comes to mind!

1, 3, 5, 8, 9, 13, 15, 19, 20, 21, 24, 26, 29, 33 (bonus: worst they're willing to admit Vs actual worst), 36, 37 (if no SO, answer about a friend), 38, 42, 44, 49, 53, 60

this. this is exactly why i love you /plat

1. What’s the one thing they would save in a fire?

My sona (that's now desperately needing a name lmao) would save themself. Other than that, they'd save their computer.

3. How would they fare in a zombie apocalypse?

Namiyo (blue lock oc les goo) would start biting the zombies after being bitten lmao. Otherwise, she'd (he? they? gender is hard män) survive pretty well.

5. What’s their most useless, weirdest, or least marketable skill?

The unnamed vessel can blow bubbles with void out of their eyes. It looks disturbing and has no other value. And it stains.

8. If they were an animal, which one would they be? Which one would they think they’d be?

Namiyo thinks she'd be a scorpion. In reality, she'd probably just be a little magpie or crow.

9. Do they cheat to win or play by the rules?

My sona tries to play by the rules, until the urge to cheat surfaces. Only cheats when absolutely necessary and at least 76% sure they won't be caught.

13. What is/was/will be their college major?

Scapino would major in advertising (can you even major in advertising?). I mean, he's good at convincing people, so it's only natural. Does prefer his current job and status tho.

19. How’s their financial situation?

The unnamed vessel has geo, but it likes spending it as fast as possible, so it doesnt leave behind anything useful for its enemies to take. It shoves the geo into its eyes.

20. Who’s their go-to person for advice?

Namiyo either goes to find her father (*cough* jinpachiego *cough) or Chigiri. For non-urgent things, her go-to person is definitely Chigiri.

21. What’s one secret of theirs that could potentially ruin a relationship they have?

My sona literally has an eldritch horror inside themself. Do what you will with that information.

24. What’s one childhood memory they’ve never forgotten?

The unnamed vessel will never forget the moment the Pale King held it for the first time. Maybe its first memory ever, but the most painful.

26. What’s one topic they could never get tired of researching or learning about?

Namiyo doesnt play football but is endlessly interested in the sport. She learns a lot from Blue Lock's participants but also does her own research.

29. If they could change one thing about themselves, physical or otherwise, what would it be?

My sona sometimes wants to "remove" the eldritch horror. It changed their life, and sometimes not for the better either. They think what it would be like, if they didnt have it. Also, they'd like to get rid of the pyromania (that might also be because of the eldritch horror).

33. What’s the worst injury they’ve ever had?

My sona's worst injury they admit to having is when their face got sliced. The wound was shallow and so is the scar. It goes from the right side of their forehead to the right side of their top lip, across their eye. The ACTUAL worst injury is the eldritch horror. Not really classified as an injury, but the eldritch horror also has the worst injury as well as is the worst injury.

36. What’s their favorite thing about themselves?

Scapino likes his eyes. He gets so many compliments, but mainly for his eyes. 👍

37. What’s their favorite thing about their significant other, if they have one?

The unnamed vessel doesnt have a significant other, but it has Hornet. It likes Hornet's skill with the nail. The elegance of her stance, the confidence she has in her nail... They all look ideal to the unnamed vessel. And Hornet's cape. Best piece of cloth to exist.

38. If they hear something go bump in the night, do they get out of bed to check it out or do they stay put?

My sona definitely goes to check, if they hear it. Wearing headphones almost 24/7 does that. The dont go to check because they're scared, they go check because they're curious.

42. What’s the typical first impression after meeting this person?

"haha trauma induced child haha" (the unnamed vessel) "this dude's tired, and kinda intimidating ngl" (my sona) "w- woag... män (heyy, where'd my wallet go)" (scapino) "small lady. very nice style 👍" (Namiyo)

44. Does this person try their best to be honest or are they not above lying to get their way?

Namiyo is honest. Dead ass. She just slaps the truth in your face with zero hesitation. With almost no sugarcoating. This just means that compliments are all the more valuable. Unless there's a legit reason for her to lie, she won't.

49. Do they think about what they wear or do they throw on whatever they find first?

On good days, my sona chooses the fabulous clothes. After a lot of thinking. A lot. Of thinking. On bad days, it's just whatever's comfortable. Anything that's comfortable. Or whatever they grab first.

53. If they could only eat one thing for the rest of their life, what would it be?

Namiyo already lives on dango (and taiyaki) so it would be dango. If snacks dont count, she'd go with ramen.

60. What are some of their simple pleasures?

Scapino enjoys good food. It doesnt even need to be that good! Just made with love and care. Cooking and baking with friends is also great. Anything to do with his friends, i think.

#ough #finally #ask chilei #my beloved mutual #tech my husband #oc dump #chilei's on skooma again #im sorry this took me so long to answer #very brain lmao

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marmaladerising · 2 months

Text

Sisyphus and Skin Care

A group of friends and I were recently talking about generational differences. They referenced something they'd seen explaining Boomers as mindlessly optimistic with an unchecked faith in old-school institutions, Gen Z as overall pretty pessimistic, understandable as we are bequeathing them a burning planet, and Millenials caught in the middle as aware of the failures of all the institutions that Boomers told us to believe in but hopeful enough, most days, to wake up and keep doing our little part.

[Dear Gen X - I didn't forget you, but as you are likely used to, you didn't come up.]

I commented that we, Millenials, sound like Sisyphus.

For those not lucky enough to know mythological-obsessed tweens who keep you informed on such beings, he is the god doomed to push a boulder up a mountain every day- only to watch it roll back down once he finished. We had an accidental moment of quiet at the table, and then someone commented on the realization that I think was sinking in for all of us, that we would never see the better world we were waking up each day, voting and marching for.

Of course, we will see changes, some improvements, and some setbacks, but a world of not just equality—but equity and an end to the violence against our planet and ourselves—will likely be beyond the reach of our lives. So, all we can do is push our little rocks up the hill and hope they will accumulate to take us all higher as they roll back down.

I live a weird, often hypocritical existence between conflicting states of believing that "consumerism is an epidemic actively destroying our world" and deeply enjoying creature comforts as a means to satiate the way the institutions I exist within crush my soul. Locked in a perpetual chicken or the egg, I struggle to live in line with my big beliefs, as I suspect many do.

It's why, while I long for the security and stability that money yields, I am terrified of the moral conundrum that I worry would come with it. How much is 'enough'? What is the line in the sand that it seems so many with wealth cross over regarding how one who purports to care about the world and its troubles uses their money? When does buying all organic to avoid harmful chemicals in your food, which seems reasonable enough if you have the means, slip into, "Well, of course, I need a vacation house/ yacht/ million dollar pair of pants," which I feel safe in saying are all unnecessary in comparison to the good the cost of them could yield. At what point does your wealth, which is power, demand responsibility to limit your wealth in service of the good? The unpolitical, unreligious, equitable good?

I must admit in my most disconnected moments, as a working-class mother of color, I allow myself to fantasize that it isn't my duty. My role as a ferry through life for my children is my sole responsibility, or else my hall pass is to not worry about anything else. Surviving while shaping them to be self-respecting, aware human beings takes so much that any means to get to that end must be justified, right? So another mother's child must dig for minerals I don't even know the names of for phones made to break so I can call mine. If I can play such mental acrobatics in my conscious line of awareness, what are the mental moves of the billionaires?

Now for some skincare, I've been loving.

In 2023, I started using face masks as a little treat. Nothing fancy, just the ones hanging in the skin care section of Target; I'd put them in the fridge, let them chill, slap one on, and instantly feel pampered. No mask was safe in my house for longer than a week, and I think I owe my daughters three masks each from slipping theirs on after lights out at night.

I was obsessed and noticed how healthy my skin looked post-mask. Aware that I wasn't getting much bang for my buck buying one mask a week, not to mention single-use items are embarrassing, I started to search for products similar to the "goo" on the masks. I tried TikTok and Google, putting my writing skills to shame in having no other way to explain what I was looking for. I'd made my own hyaluronic serum after Target stopped selling my favorite Bliss serum with much success; however, this wasn't that. The logical thing might have been to go to a beauty store and ask, but my mental health wasn't up for an interaction with one of their resident beauty queens, so I just accepted that it was a mystery I'd never solve.

That was until I was looking through Target skincare aisle absentmindedly months later and found this:

Versed Dew Point Mostiruinzing Gel-Cream.

GEL CREAM?! What a concise way to say exactly what I was looking for!

And let me tell you- this shit is GOLD.

I am obsessed. The scent is cool and clean, the texture is perfect, and a little—we're talking no bigger than a dime—is perfect for my face and neck.

This is a desert island-level favorite for me, which led me to try the brand's dark spot remover, Versed Out of Sight Dark Spot Gel. A month in, and it has made reasonable progress on some of my most persistent scarring.

Another product in my current rotation is CeraVe's Hyaluronic acid serum, which I got because I love their AM and PM moisturizers. Before the Verse, I used the PM moisturized daily- and the AM on days I knew I'd be out and about.

Honestly, I hadn't tried these before despite TikTok dermatologists insisting they were the BEST because the branding wasn't very sexy. I am a sucker for fun stuff, man- I'm not saying it's right, but Cerve packaging didn't look so different from Preparation H packaging, and I like pretty things.

However, after my daughter's allergist said the brand's Moisturizing Cream was the best for her eczema (since she has a shea, cocoa, AND coconut allergy), I figured I'd give their other products a shot, too, and I am SO glad I did. They do their job, and they do it well. The AM takes a little work/time to soak in and become translucent, but I mix it with my tinted CC or BB cream and concealer, so it doesn't bother me. I also use their Hydrating facial cleanser, which does a fantastic job of cleaning my skin without stripping.

The newest item on my shelf is the Neutrogena Hydroboost Body Gel Cream.

After how much I loved Versed gel cream, I wondered if a similar product existed for a full-body moisturizer. I have always hated traditional lotions because of how sticky, oily, or slimy they left me feeling, preferring to be ashy rather than any of the above. So, I was pretty excited to try this. It is everything I ever wanted in a lotion—it's lightweight, spreads easily, and soaks right in. It leaves a temporary residue on my palms that irritates my sensitive skin, but it goes away within minutes and doesn't deter my use. I've started layering it on my face at night before I put on my CPAP- don't judge, and it's cut down on my CPAP acne and line in the morning.

This isn't a sponsored post (though #target and #versed are welcome).

#skincare #beauty #millenials #capitalism #consumerism #target #versed

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webbedphantom · 4 months

Note

One More Day? [I vaguely know about this one, due to Linkara, and that it's contreversial]

Adapting the Archive

So when I originally wrote that post, I completely forgot that I did, in fact, have an idea for this one... to an extent. It's moreso adapting No Way Home, but considering it does take some elements from that story and its sequel "One Moment in Time," I think it counts.

To start, let's give a brief summary of One More Day-

So, Peter was on Iron Man's side during Civil War, and Tony had him reveal his identity to the public on live TV. But then he realized that Cap was right, and joined his side, making him a public fugitive.

A bunch of other stuff happens, his Aunt gets shot by a bullet that was meant for him, he goes around the world begging all his superhero friends, even some of his villains and a few heroes that hate his guts after Civil War, but none of them can save her. (which makes absolutely no sense considering one of those people is Dr Strange, but whatever)

So he's at his wits end, it all seems hopeless... until the literal Devil shows up and asks him to make a deal. Sell his marriage to him, and he'll make it so that not only would Aunt May live, but his identity would never be revealed. He takes the deal, and then everything reality is reset to a world where Peter and MJ never get married.

If that doesn't sound too bad to you, even though the deal as a whole is basically character assassination for him and MJ, trust me, I left a lot of the worst parts out.

There's a lot going on here, and I'm not touching most of it with a 10 foot pole, but there is one idea I think I can work with here.

Making a deal with the devil.

Yeah, I know I just criticized that, but hear me out-

In this case, the devil would be Yaldabaoth, who does survive the ending of the AU, and the deal wouldn't be to sell his marriage or anything like that, but rather to lend his body.

See, in my AU, Yaldabaoth and his loyal shadows are kinda trapped in the Metaverse, and the only way for them to escape is to get more people to awaken to their Personas from the serum that gives Aaron and his teammates their powers. Doing so creates a link between the two realities, and the more Persona users there are, the stronger the link, and the bigger and badder things that can slip through.

And throughout the storyline, Yaldy is constantly trying to awaken enough people so that he can come over and fuse the two worlds like he does in canon, but while he makes some progress, he never gets enough.

But there is a way he could expedite the process; Possession.

In this AU, shadows and other Metaversal entities can possess people through their dreams, but the connection is broken if they're ever awakened. But another way is if the person is possessed willingly. And because Aaron has such a strong connection to the Metaverse, if Yaldy possessed him, he'd have a much easier time achieving his goals.

So why would Aaron agree to this? Simple. His identity is revealed.

Obviously that would be bad enough, putting all of his friends and loved ones in the crosshairs of all of his enemies, but because his team is so closely tied together, once his identity got out, it wouldn't be long before all of theirs got figured out too.

But he's not an idiot, he wouldn't just agree to this off the bat. He'd be sure to set some rules, as well as give himself a bit of time to actually enjoy having his secret back. What those rules are? Well, I kinda already talked about this idea in this post here-

Last thing I'll say is the aftermath of it, where the team is able to take him down and get Aaron his body back, is something that's a bit of a spoiler for No Way Home, so I'll just put that tidbit right under here.

The idea is that there would be a cost. Nobody makes a deal with the devil, and gets off scot free. So, I think that once Yaldabaoth is defeated, he would use his power one last time, to make everyone forget that Aaron Amamiya even exists.

Yes, I stole this idea straight from NWH, but its so good that I just have to!

Now, I do think that his teammates would be able to remember him eventually, given that they were able to do something similar in the Third Semester. But everyone else would have a much harder time pushing through it. In fact, I'm tempted to say that no one else would be able to remember him... ever. That he'd basically have to start from scratch.

But that does seem a bit cruel, especially when it comes to Sojiro and his Aunt, so maybe not.

Even still, the idea of him having to lose everyone he cares about like that just- MAN, there's so much potential there.

#Request Received - Accepting;#the-flower-karasu #ooc; out of character #au thoughts

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starglitterz · 2 years

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cynosure. (viii)

─── chapter 8 ! ~ this is how to be a heartbreaker.

summary; you and xiao are genmates under the famed streamer company genshin impact. the chemistry between the two of you is undeniable, and your fanbases absolutely love your collaborations. but when you both start meeting up offline more and more, your connection starts to deepen past just harmless flirting and playful banter. with these real feelings starting to affect both your job and reputation online, how will you two react when your relationship becomes the internet’s cynosure?

a/n: HI I MISSED CYNOSURE SM I JUST TOOK AGES TO WRITE THIS BC OF IRL STUFF AKJWDKJSD BUT IM BACK NOW YEAHHHH aLSO this is quite a long chapter, so strap in for a rollercoaster ride >:) !!!!

as always, reading order is; 1 2 3 4

warnings; angst, hate comments, threatening

previous.┃masterlist.┃next.

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

youtube !

@.kunikuzushi's latest video is #15 on trending; XIAO AND Y/N AREN'T AS PERFECT AS YOU THINK - HERE'S WHY!

without wasting time on clickbait rubbish, let's get right into the video. we all know the internet's current favourite 'it-couple', aka xiao and y/n from genshin impact's liyue third generation. however, i'm here to tell you why they are the most awful and toxic pairing to exist in the streamer fandom, and i've literally been shipped with tartaglia. speaking of which, go check out my other video on why his views have been declining recently! but anyways, before we delve into the deeper stuff, don't forget to hit the subscribe button and click on the bell to get notified whenever i post new videos - you wouldn't want to miss any, would you?

well, now that that's over... i'll start off by saying to please not send hate to any parties involved in this video. kidding! i genuinely could not care less whether you do or don't. as long as you don't say it's from me, you're in the clear, and that's just because i seriously don't want to get demonetised again.

i'd also like to mention that i'm a pretty diehard fan of xiao. that's a lie, i'd never heard of him before he was hired by genshin. but! i did some digging, with some assistance from my talented friend who prefers to be known only as 'the crimson witch', and found his past life. if you're unfamiliar with streamer terms, that's just slang for a persona a streamer used to play before they either retired or signed up to a company. i doubt any of you know who xiao used to be, as it's considered bad taste to doxx a streamer's previous character, but fun fact; i don't give a [####]! ah [####], now i've got to cut that out so i can still get ad revenue.

xiao's former life was as none other than part of the five famed yakshas! this is basically his tragic backstory, which then led to him signing up for genshin and being catapulted into worldwide fame and fortune; jeez xiao, save some main character moments for the rest of us! he used to go by alatus, and in case you don't know what happened to the yakshas, here's a quick summary. while they were famous for creating content as a group, one of the girls was accused of having a relationship, and the internet went wild. i'm talking mass unsubscribing, hate comments, dislike bombing - and not just on her account, on all five of their accounts and their shared account. things only got more heated when a respected updates channel, guess who? if you guessed yours truly, you're absolutely right! if you guessed anyone else... why are you even here? anyway, i posted a huge video about it, which actually kickstarted my career, and well, basically ruined theirs.

the entire internet hopped on a giant bandwagon of hating on them until finally, the group could no longer tolerate it, and the five yakshas were disbanded. nobody knew what had become of each of them, at least until now! i've solved the grand mystery of who xiao is, and now i'll get into why he shouldn't be with y/n.

first off, i pity xiao, okay? i made that video for clout and it actually worked, i didn't expect the yakshas to dissolve because of it. and so i want what's best for xiao, because he deserves some happiness after such a terrible sobstory. therefore, i believe that he shouldn't be with y/n at all! how long have we known her? only around a couple months, which as confirmed by venti's interview, is the same amount of time xiao's known her. yet in that short duration, y/n's been proven countless times to be a terrific flirt, constantly buttering up others in collabs with stupid pick-up lines and flirty expressions. honestly, the second-hand embarrassment i get from some of her videos is almost overwhelming. xiao, meanwhile, is the polar opposite; he's quiet, reserved, and barely does collaborations. y/n is hanging onto genshin impact by the skin of her teeth with the collabs, while xiao can hold his own in terms of content. at least his is watchable and doesn't make me want to bang my head against the wall.

xiao deserves better, because even if he's mooning after y/n, she doesn't even bother giving him a second glance. she treats him the same way she treats everyone else, like objects - another reason why you shouldn't support her. xiao is probably pretending to like her, which is understandable considering how many views their collabs get. human fall flat, valorant, gartic phone with the entire third gen, it's all great business sense, really. people are suckers for the grumpy boy sunshine girl trope, and they know that and make the best use of it. it's just a ploy to get more money from you, both from ads and superchat donations.

overall, xiao and y/n suck together, mainly because of how their relationship is obviously being faked for views. however, it seems like xiao might actually be catching feelings, which is also horrible because he deserves someone more caring and loving than the playful and childish y/n. especially after his backstory, that boy must have severe trust issues, so it's better for him to be saved from this before things get messed up and he ends up heartbroken.

that's it from me, scaramouche, hope you enjoyed the video!

twitter !

groupchat !

phone call !

outgoing call to y/n at 6.14 p.m.

xiao: y/n, are you with hu tao and yanfei now? are you safe?

y/n: hi xiao... yeah i'm with them at the mall. i'm waiting for them outside wanwen bookhouse, and then we're going to xinyue kiosk for dinner before heading home.

xiao: thank the archons, i was so scared for you. i was seriously contemplating driving out to help you somehow but i had no clue how. i was worried my presence might... exacerbate the situation.

y/n: aw xiao, thanks for being so caring. it's fine though, i'm still in one piece!

xiao: but that's the problem, y/n. it isn't fine.

y/n: what are you talking about?

xiao: it isn't fine that you were threatened with a knife outside a grocery store! by one of my fans, which makes it worse!

y/n: xiao, i told you it's okay. things like this happen when you're famous.

xiao: that doesn't make it right and you know it. this wouldn't even have happened if i didn't interact with you.

y/n: xiao, you can't blame yourself for your fans' actions. you don't control them, they're functional humans who make their own choices.

xiao: either way, the fact remains that you nearly got hurt because of me.

y/n: how is it because of you?!

xiao: my fans got jealous because i've been spending so much time with you, so they nearly attacked you! the blame can't fall on anyone else for that besides me.

y/n: and what about the fan? isn't it their fault?

xiao: yes, obviously it is. but we don't know who it is and i doubt we ever will. as an influencer, this is exactly why i'm supposed to stay away from problems like these.

y/n: problems like these? and what do you mean by that, xiao?

xiao: this entire thing between us!

y/n: you're saying all the time we spent together was just 'a problem' to you?

xiao: no! i mean- yes, but not in that way.

y/n: in what other way could that mean, xiao?

xiao: i mean that i enjoyed hanging out with you! i like you, y/n. a lot more than i should considering our jobs.

y/n: well i like you too, xiao! so who cares about that?! our fans, the good ones at least, will be over the moon if we become official.

xiao: and what about the bad ones? whatever happened today to you could happen ten times worse and next time you might not be so lucky.

y/n: that's a risk i'm willing to take.

xiao: i don't want you to be at risk! i can't let it happen again.

y/n: let what happen again?

xiao: nothing. look, y/n, i'm really sorry, but we've got to end this.

y/n: xiao, come on-

xiao: no. i need you to be safe and okay, even if that means distancing myself from you. i can't lose another person i care about.

y/n: by doing this, you're already losing me. please, xiao, just try to-

xiao: i'm sorry, y/n. it's for the best. i'm cancelling the collab we were supposed to have next week, and i'm not going to be interacting with you on social media or real life. at least not until this entire mess is sorted out, i can't endanger you further.

y/n: we can make this work, xiao, please.

xiao: goodbye, y/n.

call cut at 6.37 p.m.

twitter !

a/n; scaramouche is so fun to write for gn JKDAKWJDKJAS,,, also angst moment 😍HAHAHA i promised angst and here is the delivery, i hope u all enjoyed it! i, personally, am absolutely DEVASTATED over the end of xiaoyn 😞 but i'd love to hear yalls theories for what will happen next, especially since we've still got a ton of chapters left LOL ok anyways im too tired to write more for this a/n except im sorry for the long wait between chapters ! school is kicking my ass 😭 but ily all take care mwah !

taglist; @noirkkat @bookuya @ohmykazuha @glazelilyy @oreoz-unfortunately @tiny-aroace @xiaophobic @test-tube @jiinghe @storytravelled @mirikusashes @ben6ett @oliviasslut @bluexiao @lunachelly @aelatus @mimion @akiiyukii @angelhxneyy @give-xiao-almond-tofu @abyssheart @xuanya @normalisthenewnorm @viagiraffe @fuhuashandholder @astersg4rden @nachotrash @childe-support @cynokine @axerrri @ventirain @kait-is-always-late @hushyouu @celestair @rim0na @indecisivehusky @nurserinnn @ariesreii @saving-for-xiao @hellokittykuroo @auradragon199 @xiaoszn @liarchive @almondto-fu @berryqueue @chichikoi @yunaholics @yoimimi @http-mewchuu

general masterlist.

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

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If I Fell For You (Part 12) - Not So Sweet Home

Summary: Jensen is fed up with his parents ignoring Y/N all day and when he gets a moment alone, blows up on them like never before. The reader sees how upset Jensen is over what’s happening and does her best to defend him while still trying to salvage a relationship with them...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,200ish

Warnings: language, major family angst, mention of a dead parent

A/N: Eek! If you like angst this part is for you! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was late, the kids asleep in the guest bedroom, Jensen’s siblings and their families gone home for the evening aside from his brother. He made some half ass excuse about wanting to hang out with Jensen more but you knew he could sense what you did. Jensen was getting close to popping after a whole day of politeness on his part and his parents ignoring you on theirs.

Jensen was bouncing his knee like crazy as he sipped on his beer around a gas fire pit, suddenly stopping when you shifted in your seat.

“Maybe you ought to cool it with the alcohol tonight,” said his dad. Jensen set his empty bottle down on the grass and breathed deeply through his nose. “Your legs been-”

“Y/N, would you get me another beer please?” asked Jensen. You took the opportunity to get out of there, surprised when the back door opened quickly after you, his brother closing it behind him.

“I don’t think your parents like me very much,” you said, going to the fridge and pulling out a drink.

“I know,” he said, glancing out the dark window. “Jensen asked me to make sure you don’t come back out there.”

“He’s gonna go off on them.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m guessing,” he said with a sigh. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to go well. You guys can crash at my place if you want. We don’t have a guest room but we have an air mattress we can put in the family room.”

“You think it’ll be that bad?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“Then why are we in here talking about this when we should be out there making sure he doesn’t say something he regrets in the morning.”

“You might hear things you can’t unhear,” he said.

“Right now my concern isn’t if my feelings get hurt. He’s really upset and I need him to be okay.”

“You know that’s why the rest of us like you, don’t you? You care about him, the kids. You’re in love with him.”

“Yes I am,” you said as he nodded.

“You call me if either of you ever need anything,” he said, going back to the door. You nodded and took a deep breath, following him outside and already hearing raised voices.

“She’s half your age, Jensen,” said his mom. “She was your nanny. Sweetie you have to know what’s going on here.”

“You’re getting played,” said his father, catching you walking out with Josh.

“She is not half my age. She’s thirty fucking years old! She’s a goddamn adult and been through more shit then both of you put together! She’s not after fucking money,” snapped Jensen who was already out of his seat.

“You’re engaged to the girl after five months!” said his father. “It took you years to propose the first time around!”

“Because I was a nervous kid that was away working constantly. I didn’t want to make Dee stay if it was gonna make her unhappy. I’m not afraid of how I feel anymore because I feel the same about her as I do Dee and I’m not wasting my time so I can stick to your socially acceptable schedule,” said Jensen. “I love her and she’s gonna be part of this family whether you like it or not. Deal with it.”

“You need a prenup,” said his dad.

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do! You’ve known the girl for not even six months!”

“She’s not up to anything!” shouted Jensen.

“Son-”

“Have you ever lost your wife? Have you ever been in the car and almost die yourself while you watch her breathe for the last time? Where she’s hurt and you can’t do a thing to fix it? Have you ever had to tell your children their mother is dead and she’s not coming back? You have no idea, no idea, what that does to you, how much it hurts and how much it hurts when you’re still so fucked up and your parents start making comments behind closed doors about you and you have to pretend you’re better when you’re really not. When you don’t even care about yourself anymore, when you pretend for everyone’s sake so they stop treating you like a child, when you don’t know how to tell your kids it’s okay because it’s not. It’s not. Until you go through that, until you know how bad it hurts, don’t assume a damn thing about her. She’s my best friend and she makes me feel like my old self again. I laugh and smile and have fun and when I get scared or feel guilty or freak out she makes me feel better. I don’t give a fuck how old she is or what her job was. She’s kind and good and she deserves better than you two. Danneel’s parents like her. Jared’s parents like her. Her old foster dad’s family likes her. Our family likes her except for you two. Get your heads out of your asses or you can not even bother letting me know you exist anymore. I’m done with things hurting the women I care about. I couldn’t stop what happened to Dee but I can sure as hell keep Y/N away from the two of you,” said Jensen. He huffed and walked off, Josh running off after him.

“Well congratulations. You got your hooks in him deep, don’t you,” said his father. You rolled your eyes and his mother scoffed.

“You can take care of someone without treating them like a child you know. He’s an incredibly strong person. If you don’t like me fine. But don’t call him stupid or easily manipulated or imply that it’s wrong to know you love someone after only a certain amount of time. I love your son.”

“You love his money,” said his mom.

“I do just fine on my own,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “He’s staying at Josh’s house tonight. We’ll pick up the kids in the morning.”

“He’s overreacting. He’ll be fine in the morning,” said his dad. You crossed your arms and leaned your head back. “He’ll be fine.”

“You two don’t know a thing about me and you assume I want money because of my age and my former career. Don’t assume your son will be fine and get over it.”

“We’ve known him a lot longer than you have. He’ll get over it after a night’s rest.”

“You may have known him longer and I’m sure in some regards you do know him better but not the ones that matter. If you did, you would have seen how much he would have loved for the two of you to like me. I would have taken some respect and been happy because trust me, I get how this looks to everyone else. I understand you have fears and I’m not mad you have them. I’m mad you assume those are facts when all they are is a story you made up in your head you don’t want to change. He’s right, I’m not going anywhere. The difference between him and me though is that I’ll stay out here all damn night with the two of you until you get it through your heads that I’m not here to fuck him over. I love him. I don’t have family, not really. Things have always been screwed up for me pretty much until I met him and he didn’t have to say it for me to know that he was hoping he could share the two of you with me. Maybe I was hoping for that too. But right now I’ll take some goddamn respect and an apology to your son to start and we can go from there.”

“You’re gonna curse at us and expect an apology?” said his mom. “We know you took him when he was at his low and tricked him into trusting you so you could get exactly what you wanted.”

“You know what I want? What I’ve always wanted and somehow always seems to get ripped away? A family. A stupid fucking family. Being a nanny? That let me feel like part of the family. I could pretend I was like all of those people I worked for. Nice and normal and like people gave a shit. Some kindness and a family is all I’ve ever wanted. You two...you wouldn’t have survived a day in my childhood. In my adulthood with the shitty ex boyfriend and the crappy friends and I picked myself over all of them because my mom told me to stand up for myself. Even when she couldn’t be there and I wanted her to. So I stand up for myself and now I stand up for him and those three kids to anyone and I mean anyone, that hurts them. He’s my family and those kids are my family. I don’t know what you think I’m gonna do but I guarantee the only thing I will do is tell you two where to shove it and to leave him the hell alone.”

“Why would we believe anything you say? At all?” his dad asked. “It’s probably the same sad story you told him to get him on the line. I don’t buy it.”

“I have a million dollar book deal. I’ve worked rent free for a lot of rich people since I was eighteen years old. Do I sound like someone who needs his money?” you said. You put your hands on your hips and shook your head. “What is it? You want me to sign a prenup? I would but he doesn’t want one. He trusts me and for a guy that lost his wife and had to work through falling in love with another person, I respect that. He knows what he wants and he’s not wasting time. This is scary for him. It’s scary for me. But when Dee’s parents gave me open arms and kindness and their blessing, the last people I ever expected to disapprove were you two. If you’re going to stand there and keeping calling me a liar, I’m going to find your sons and I’m going take care of Jensen instead of wasting my time here.”

“We don’t disapprove of him moving on and marrying again,” said his mom as you turned to walk away.

“Could have fooled me,” you said.

“He’s going too fast and he doesn’t know you either, not well enough to make a decision like that,” said his dad. You turned around and smiled.

“He knows my favorite color. He knows what my favorite flavor of ice cream is. He knows why I have nightmares and he knows how to make me forget them in the first place. I’m sorry we aren’t doing things on your schedule but it’s his life. He can do whatever the fuck he wants with it, whether that’s me or somebody else. For the record, he knows me just fine. Oh and if this is how you plan on speaking to him again in the morning, I’ll pick up the kids myself.”

“We’re looking out for his best interest,” said his dad.

“No, you think you’re looking at his wallet for him. See money? People think that’s important and it is but best interest? It ain’t that shit,” you said as you started to leave.

“Well what do you assume his best interest is then?” said his mom.

“Treating him like an adult. He is smart and strong and the most emotionally healthy man I’ve ever met which considering all the fucked up shit he’s been through and felt the past year is really saying something. He’s your child but he’s not a child. He found someone he loves and all he wanted to do was share me with you. This was his worst nightmare and I couldn’t stop it. So if you’re not gonna even try with me, then I’m gonna protect him from you.”

“He doesn’t need protecting from us,” he said.

“You call him stupid and that he can’t take care of himself, that he can be fooled and that the person he thinks is his best friend really only wants him for his money. He knows none of those things are true but it’s what you said to him when you said that about me. For a man who went through what he did, it wasn’t mean. It was cruel. I’m gonna go fix what I can of your relationship with him because despite all that, I know you guys love each other and I’m not letting that get fucked up because you think whatever the hell you think about me.”

You stormed off around the house and found Josh’s truck still there but neither man in sight. You looked around and heard a sniffle, your head going up to the roof. You saw the lattice work on the side and climbed up, peeking your head up to spot the two of them sat on the roof.

“Hey,” you said quietly. Jensen wouldn’t look at you, Josh rubbing his back.

“Careful,” he said as you climbed up and slowly walked over. You took a seat on your bottom, spotting the window behind them. “That was my room. Jensen used to sneak out this way. I was always too nervous of getting caught to try myself. You landed the bad boy of the family.”

“Oh yeah, such a bad boy,” you said. You scooted closer on your butt to him, Jensen resting his head on his knees. “Hey. Before you even think about it don’t say you’re sorry.”

“I know,” he said. He took a deep breath but looked up, looking fairly normal aside from a slightly pink nose. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Nobody was,” said Josh. “I’ll give you guys a minute. I’ll be in my car when you’re ready.”

“You should go home,” said Jensen. “Staying in a different house won’t change anything.”

“That was kinda fucked up what they said.” Jensen raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “I don’t always agree with them. If you guys want to stay, that’s your choice but I’m not going home without telling them what a mistake they’re making.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re my little brother and I like her. Even if I didn’t, they’re being assholes and she doesn’t deserve that. You don’t. Alright?”

Jensen nodded and Josh walked off to the lattice and climbed down while you scooted next to Jensen.

“You thought your siblings weren’t gonna like me,” you said.

“He’s a good person. He’s never told off our parents before so...I don’t know if I’m happy about that or not.”

“He’s a good big brother,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “I don’t love you for your family though. I don’t care if your parents don’t like me. I’ll deal with it.”

“I wish you didn’t have to,” he said.

“I still like your dad so much better than mine,” you said.

“Yours is a monster to be fair.”

“Yeah, he is. Yours love you and I don’t agree with them but in their minds, they’re protecting you and I don’t have a problem with anyone trying to do that.”

“How are you so fucking kind to them after they basically said you’re with their dumbass son because of money?”

“Like you said, I know monsters. I know toxic and bad. They aren’t it. They raised you and I really, really like you. Good people can be stupid and still be good. In the morning we’ll try again.”

“What if I can’t get them to change their minds?” he said quietly.

“Jensen,” you said, moving to squat down in front of him. You grabbed his cheeks and he stared at you. “You don’t have to pick anybody over anybody. Maybe I won’t be close with them but that’s okay. It’s so okay. We’ll respect each other or just won’t talk to each other and we’ll figure it out but we don’t have to do it all tonight.”

“I think what bothers me the most is they’ve already made up their minds about you based on your age when they don’t even realize who you are. They don’t see that this is the kind of person you are, kind and supportive and I heard you not taking their bullshit. You’re a stronger person than I am and I wish they could see that the reason I’m not freaking out over this is cause I know you’re my partner and you got my back like I got yours. I’m just having a hard time understanding why they won’t even listen to us.”

“I don’t know,” you said, eyes darting to the window when you caught some movement inside. You narrowed them and glanced down, spotting the crack between the windowsill and frame. “I’m a little cool. I’m gonna get my sweatshirt if that’s okay.”

“Careful climbing in,” he said, turning on his bottom and pushing the window up. You kissed his cheek and climbed inside, the room empty as far as you could tell. You stepped out to the hall and into his old room, getting your hoodie, his old hoodie. You pulled it on but went downstairs, catching his parents in the kitchen with Josh.

“Josh may I speak to your parents in private,” you said.

“Yeah. I’m done here. I’ll be over for brunch, okay?” he said. He walked past you and caught your arm. “Call me if you need me back.” You nodded and he kissed your temple before he went out.

“Were you eavesdropping on us?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“We went to tell him to get off the roof. We could see him from the backyard up there,” said his mom, putting her back to you as she mixed up something in a mug. “But we heard the three of you talking and then the two of you. We didn’t mean-”

“We are all on the same side. His side. We should get along. It shouldn’t be this difficult and I don’t appreciate private conversations being listened in on. But I hope you understand that you hurt your son. I know you didn’t mean to and it’s the last thing you’d ever want to do to him. But you did. So please try to help me fix this. This isn’t easy for me to accept that you don’t like me either but you’re gonna respect me. If we can respect each other, then he’s not going to worry as much at least. Please promise that we can agree to that,” you said. His parents looked at each other and you sighed. “You have to be kidding me. What do you want me to do? Go away? I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

“That’s not...Jensen called your father a monster up there,” he said.

“I thought it was a sob story according to you ten minutes ago.”

“You said you don’t have parents. He said your father is alive.”

“What’s your point, Mr. Ackles,” you said. “Please enlighten me.”

“It doesn’t make much sense to tell different stories,” he said.

“You can’t even give me the benefit of the doubt that I love your son. Why the fuck would I tell you things only he knows, things so few people know about. Why would I trust you with the worst parts of my life when you don’t accept the best ones. For your information, my birth mother is dead. My adoptive mother is dead. I wish my son of a bitch father was dead. The only glimmer of a parent I have maybe, maybe was my foster father. That was until last weekend. I met some parents. I met Dee’s. I met Jared’s. I got the same message from all of them. Let us know if you ever need anything. Oh the way he looks at you. You must be pretty special. Anything at all, you give us a call. People that don’t even have an obligation to look in my direction treated me like I was their kid. So maybe he and I both got our hopes up with you two and that was on us. If you want to pick apart what I’ve said and call me a liar…” you said, putting your hands on your hips. Your shut your eyes and breathed deeply, turning around. “I don’t care if you have to pretend to respect me. Just do it for his sake and the kids sakes, alright?”

A tissue appeared over your shoulder and you took it, blowing your nose and stepping away.

“When did your mother’s pass?” you heard behind you. You threw your head back and took a deep breath.

“When I was born and when I was sixteen,” you said, turning around and swallowing. “Why does that matter?”

“When were you adopted?” he asked.

“Why do you care?”

“Please.”

“I was eight,” you said.

“So you only had your mother for eight years then,” he said.

“Yeah. She got sick when I was fourteen. I stayed with her boyfriend until I moved out for my first nanny job at eighteen. It was all very sad and angsty,” you said.

“Who made the first move?”

“I’m done with this interrogation,” you said. You started to leave but he stepped in front of you. “What do you want from me?”

“I just want to know who made the first move, you or Jensen.”

“I don’t…” you trailed off. “We had a fight. I told him I didn’t want him to be my friend anymore, he was just my boss and that was it. We couldn’t hang out at night and stuff anymore.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want him to hurt me,” you said quietly. “I didn’t fit with his life. I’m not a pretty actress. I’m not smart. I’m the younger nanny and that’s all I was gonna be until I became an older nanny and that was supposed to be my life. I didn’t ask for…”

“For what?” asked his mother, carrying over her mug and setting it down on the end table.

“I didn’t ask for him to love me. But he did and I don’t know why but I trusted him not to hurt me. It’s not fairytales and roses all day every day but I like having a best friend and I never would have submitted those books to a publisher without him encouraging me and I need him to feel better. He can’t catch a break lately and I hate seeing him upset. It makes me sick to my stomach and I really, really need him to be okay so please stop doing this. Just stop. Please. I don’t care if we have to pretend the rest of our lives but please, I can’t keep seeing him take hit after hit anymore and not being able to stop it.”

You weren’t expecting the hug from his father or to bury your face in his chest for a brief moment. His mom guided you to sit on the couch, pulling a blanket around you. She handed you the mug and you saw it was hot chocolate, your eyes darting back and forth between them.

“This isn’t about to be like a lifetime movie where you murder me, right?” you said.

“No,” said his mom as she sat next to you. “We hurt you quite deeply today, didn’t we.”

You stared at the mug, holding it in your hands.

“You were looking forward to meeting us,” said his dad as he sat down on your other side.

“It doesn’t matter. All I care about is him.”

“I don’t think he’d be very happy with you laying down for a semblance of normalcy for him,” he said.

“Just spit out whatever the fuck you want,” you said. You gripped the mug and shut your eyes.

“I’d like you to stop swearing please,” he said. “In exchange, maybe we can have a second chance.”

“Second chance at what?” you said dryly.

“At meeting our son’s fiance.” You lifted your head and stared at him, catching a bashful look you saw in Jensen every so often. “We understand, as well as we can, he was hurt after Danneel. We can’t fix those problems like when he would scrape his knees. We knew he was in a vulnerable position and things between the two of you seemed so fast for how in pain he was. We thought of the worst of you before knowing you and that wasn’t right of us. We were trying to protect him. But like you said, we all try to do that. So if you’ll let us, give us a second chance.”

“For him, I will give you both a second chance,” you said. “I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but this sort of thing isn’t going to go away just like that, for him or for me.”

“Is there anything…” said his mom as you shook your head. “We are sorry for before. Truly.”

“I know. Trust is difficult for me on a normal day. You guys kinda tore through the safety nets I thought I had with you. I need to build them up again is all.”

“That was you that said that, people have safety nets,” she said. You raised and eyebrow and she sighed. “Jensen, months back, he told us his therapist told him that, put things in perspective.”

“I guess couple’s are kinda each other’s therapists,” you said. “Sometimes they just need to vent to each other too.”

“Before you said...has he ever been to one?” asked his dad.

“Last weekend was...intense. I went to one as a child and he talked to him for a little while, helped him put things in perspective,” you said.

“Intense? Did you fight?” she asked.

“He and JJ got stung by a scorpion. It was a little serious. We went out the next night and I made a comment and he took it a different way and he got upset thinking I thought of myself as being less in his eyes than Dee was. I know it’s not true, it’s just different. He’s been having a really great week aside from today.”

You took a sip of the hot chocolate and went back for more, drinking half the mug down.

“We screwed up,” said his dad with a sigh, sitting back against the couch.

“Yeah but he’ll forgive you,” you said. “This is really good Mrs. Ackles.”

“Thank you sweetie and call me Donna. I made it for Jensen. He’s always liked it when he was living here and having a bad day.”

“Why do you think he’ll forgive us?” asked his dad as Donna got up.

“Because he’s Jensen. He’s not an angry man. Angry in moments but he doesn’t hold onto anger. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him. So I know he’ll forgive you. When I’m not sure of but it won’t be forever.”

“Have you two ever fought badly?” he asked.

“We’ve had a few fights. Mostly small and when we’re both tired or hungry. We had a big one a few weeks ago when he got home but we talked about why it happened and how to make sure it doesn’t again,” you said. Donna carried over a kettle and poured more hot chocolate in your mug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Don't ask about fights Alan. It’s not our business. We should let them tell us what they want,” she said as she walked back to the kitchen.

“They probably should have had a big fight at least once to know if they can work through those things and it sounds like they have,” he said when he turned to you. “I know you’re probably love struck but marriage? That’s a lifetime of putting in the work.”

“Alan if I didn’t care about putting in the work I wouldn’t be down here right now. I know I don’t know everything I’m signing up for and no one really does but I know him and the kids and that’s worth the parts I have to work at.”

“You sound older than you look.”

“Age doesn’t always equal life experience,” you said.

“I suppose not,” he said. He stood and took a deep breath. “I do apologize for thinking the worst of you and not giving you a fair chance upfront.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’m going to bring this up and check on him.”

“Can I ask one last thing?” asked his dad. You nodded and he looked over to Donna who gave him a short nod. “Josh said you really love him.”

“I do.”

“Do you think he loves you the same way?”

“I know he does,” you said.

“How are you so sure?”

“How are you so sure your wife loves you?” you said. “Goodnight Alan.”

“Goodnight,” he said, his mom catching up with you in the foyer where the stairs were. You gave her a tired smile and she nodded.

“If I told you something, would you keep it a secret from Jensen?” she asked.

“No,” you said with a smile.

“I had to try,” she said. “We’re not like this by nature. Something happened he doesn’t know about when he was recovering that put us off to you. A woman. A young woman at his physical therapy.”

“What happened?” you asked quietly. She took a seat on a step and you sat beside her. “If someone tried to take advantage of him, you should have told me and him. He thinks you guys have gone nuts, no offense.”

“You’ll find with time you’d rather have your child safe and upset at you than the other way around,” she said.

“What happened?”

“We moved down to the house for a few months to help Jensen. He went to physical therapy. A very good place. A family friend works there and got him in and he regained a lot of strength in his leg quickly because of it. There were nurses that often helped and he worked with a few regularly and they develop a relationship and all that. It’s good for morale and healing we were told. One of these girls was about your age and our family friend overheard her gossiping to a friend on the phone during a lunch break.”

“Gossiping about…” you said. “Jensen?”

“They saw an opportunity to manipulate him. He is smart, smarter than the both of us together, but he was going through the motions that first month. She made him smile a bit. She flirted with him. Our friend told us what she’d said and we realized, he could be hurt again. Taken advantage of for what he has, what he can offer. His sudden shift in mood this year, introducing you as a fiance, made us think we’d failed to protect him this time.”

“Why not tell him that?” you asked.

“And tell him he was being manipulated back then? He’s so adamant that it can’t happen to him but we know different.”

“I think you should tell him, Donna. It makes your reaction today seem not so…” you said, her head shaking.

“Ma,” you both heard. You looked over your shoulders, Jensen sat against the wall at the top of the landing. “Mom. Jerry told me why I got a new nurse when it happened. She was nice, or was pretending to be, I don’t know. But I didn’t like her. I never got manipulated and I was never going to.”

“How long-” you said, Jensen rubbing the back of his neck. “You heard everything.”

“Yup,” he said, popping his p, his dad coming over to the bottom of the stairs and staring up. “I don’t want to talk to either of you right now. Y/N, I’d like to go to bed, please.”

“Accept their apology Jensen. You can hash out the rest of this in the morning but accept that they know they were in the wrong,” you said.

“Why should I?” he asked, cocking his head.

“We both got hurt out of their love for you. They are not monsters and I know the difference,” you said. “You know too.”

“Will you two ever look at me the same again,” said Jensen, staring at the landing.

“Honey it was a fight. It’ll be alright,” said his mom, his head shaking.

“Ever since I woke up in the hospital, you two look at me like I’m a kid. Like I’m weak and defenseless. But I’m not. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and this whole day could have been avoided if you treated me like your adult son, not the kid who fell off his bike and cries over a cut. I needed you two to take over, I did, I honestly did after the accident. I couldn’t take care of myself let alone the kids. But you haven’t stopped thinking I can take care of me again. I can. I do. I know I’m your kid but let me be an adult again. Trust me. Please.”

“Come here,” you said, holding out your hand. He slid down the steps and you stood up and aside, letting him get a hug from his mom and then dad.

“We’re sorry,” said his dad.

“I know,” said Jensen quietly. “Never do something like that again. Ever.”

“We won’t,” he said. You leaned against the wall and sipped on the hot chocolate, Jensen’s nose twitching.

“That’s my cocoa,” he said, turning his head up at you.

“I just Jerry Springer’ed ya’ll. I get the cocoa. Get your own,” you said. He smiled and you gave it right back, his parents pulling off and bringing him to his feet.

“Come here,” said his dad as his mom dragged him off towards the kitchen with the promise of hot chocolate. You stepped down until you were about his height and took a drink, licking your lips when you finished. “How do you just let that go? You were so angry before.”

“I’ve been to therapy. I have good diffusing skills,” you said.

“Is that a joke?”

“Not really,” you said with a smile. “You made a mistake because you love him. I’m gonna make mistakes because I love him. So when I screw up, now you owe me one, deal?”

“I know it’s getting late but would you be willing to stay up a while longer, maybe find out that favorite color?” he asked. You smiled and nodded, stepping down.

“Depends on the day,” said Jensen, stepping out with a mug of his own.

“He’s right,” you said. “You okay to stay up a bit?”

He nodded and walked back to the family room, taking your hand.

“Better?” you whispered to him.

“Yeah. Not all the way but definitely better honey.”

It was warm when you woke up the next morning. You peeled open an eye and caught Jensen laying awake, staring at his ceiling. You kicked off the blankets and he reached an arm out, pulling you to lay on his chest.

“It’s hot in here,” you mumbled, eyes shutting again.

“There’s a box covering the vent,” he said, dancing his fingers lazily over your bare arm. “It’s almost noon.”

“Seriously?” you said into his chest, nuzzling against his soft skin.

“Yeah. Sounds like they’re out back with the kids,” he said. You nodded and felt him move his fingers all over you, soft and light, absentmindedly tracing patterns every so often.

“Still upset?” you asked, his head nodding. “They’re human. They fuck up.”

“Are you angry?”

“I was. Not anymore. I kinda like ‘em actually.”

“Why would you give them a second chance?” he asked.

“When I got adopted I didn’t like, instantly love my mom. I was scared of her at first. I don’t know, I get that you can not like someone at first and then love them unconditionally, you know? It’s weird but your opinions can change once you get to know someone.”

“I don’t do a very good job of protecting you from things,” he said, tilting his head, moving a few hairs behind your ear. You looked up at him, his fingers playing in your hair behind you.

“Honey you went off on your parents last night. I bet you’ve never done that to them. You were trying to protect me and you did. No one has ever protected me the way you do,” you said. “Today is a new day and I’d like to get to know my new family some more.”

“Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll follow your lead.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 13 here!

#supernatural #spn #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #jensen x reader #jensen series #rpf #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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douxie-casperan · 3 years

Text

Rise of the Titans and the assassination Hisirdoux Casperan’s character development

I’ve been ranting so much since Wednesday morning that I finally condensed by thoughts of WHY this one subject keeps setting me off namely the utterly diabolical way they handled Douxie and Archie’s relationship in Rise of the Titans and how it wasn’t just enough to hit him with the nerf bat.

Please note I’m at the point where I literally cannot tell the difference between Aaron headcanons, Teny headcanons and my own they are all mixed together in the blender that does funky things. I also apologise for typo/weird wording it’s half 1 in the morning and I’d rather sleep than edit.

If asked to sum up Hisirdoux Casperan there are certainly several things that come to mind:

Sees the value in people as a whole and will find do anything if there is a chance of help someone out

Prefers tactics that disable/banish rather than kill an enemy yet willing and able to pull the trigger if circumstances become forced

While not academically inclined he is very capable of thinking on his feet and outside the box calling back to his time on the streets where a split-second decision making is the difference between being caught and not

Terrible at planning he’ll be in there figuring it out as he goes along which is what makes the previous point so vital to literally how he goes through life

A natural charmer that would let him talk his way out of trouble 9/10 providing a perfect cover for his distrustful nature and reluctance to be touched by random people

Very down to earth, humble and never one to brag unless outright sassing someone

Will bang out some hot tunes at the drop of a hat, his love of music has never wavered once since he caught the bug despite instrument hopping ironically becoming a jack of all trades much like his magic style

The earliest memories he can recall are him as a young boy lost in the woods where he was for an unknown amount of time before his soon to be familiar finds him amongst the roots covered in dirt and drying tears, there is nothing before that. Unbeknownst to him is the colour of his magic matches the blue of a lost mother’s eyes and the song that haunts his nightmares as much as fire could well be hers though there is no way to be sure. From that moment on Archibald, shortened to Archie, would become his entire world and their friendship only becoming closer during the years they prowled Camelot together trying to keep themselves in one piece until the fateful day Douxie tricks the wrong person leading him straight into the path of the famous wizard Merlin Ambrosius.

It's no real secret that Merlin is a very closed off person who keeps his emotions as well guarded as his secrets, prefers the style of negative reinforcement over positive encouragement and is a very strict perfectionist in his. At this point in his life he can be very easily described as a disaster that is genuinely doing his best with every little mistake held of his head and his future self when brought back to that time period is belittled by Lancelot (Errand boy) and Arthur (Boy) too meaning it’s hardly a wonder his confidence was very fragile revelling in the times where he could do things without being told off for it. With Morgana largely ignoring him too (Though personally I like to think as he got older she’d occasionally take an interest until the blistering arguments with their master started to talk over daily life) a certain disguised dragon would have remained a lifeline and give that physical affection he craved much like being told he’d done well never seemed able to earn.

With Killahead he’d lose that home and family he made leaving just the two of them behind struggling to figure out their place in the world that had abandoned them.

There wouldn’t have been the words for it back then but the way he had been treated prior was outright abusive instilling very bad habits into Douxie yet by irony he was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and help those in trouble without thinking earning a reputation as the Shepard of Fire. He refused to become like him seeking to be better, perhaps not as a wizard (Even though he was learning new charms and spells along the way) but certainly as a person. Despite everything he suffers through or witnesses in the intervening years, the loss of friends and kindling of far newer ones he never loses his good heart

That said is it any wonder that after rightfully sassing Merlin for resurfacing, ignoring his existence despite being in the same town and only visiting him to run a finding errand that all the confidence he’d managed to build completely from scratch after Camelot wavered causing him to fall back solely into trying impressing his old Master who was acting like his humble apprentice must have coasted the past few centuries who himself fell back into old habits of belittling? It’s only when Merlin started to truly listen and acknowledge that this was not the same Moppet he once knew after Excalibur was fixed that their relationship finally started to become more like equals. After the defeat of Janus the changeling that broke into the castle he touched Douxie’s shoulder with a genuine smile and for a second he simply didn’t know what to do because the old man never did this before his brain kicked into gear and realised he’d finally earned that one thing he’d been so desperate for his entire life: That in Merlin’s eyes he could be more than a failure who only caused problems for the closest thing to a father figure he’d ever had, never solved them.

A staff will be earned, history would be set back on trap by banishing Morgana tag teaming with Archie because they know one another inside and out, as promised he’d get the kids back to the present but soon after things would go badly wrong. They’d lose Jim and because of his very nature he’d make a gamble to try and get him back because that life is worth trying for just for in a moment of surprising selflessness Merlin would be sacrificed to save him. The only constant in his life apart from Archie would apologise, openly express pride and how the greatest thing he’d ever done was saving this orphan, call him son for the first and final time before turning into ash in his arms. There would be no time to grieve for things will barrel into the crescendo of Douxie sacrificing his own life to buy everyone time to escape because if they did that everything he’d ever done would be worth it with one last whispered goodbye.

(Zoe sees him fall, so does Archie – His heart would break if he was conscious just like theirs does when his body crumples into the ground)

On the very fringes of the Light Realm he is gifted one more conversation with Merlin in a truly heart-breaking sequence (THANKS TENY) where they can just talk without any fear of consequence or politics and just be completely honest. Douxie is allowed to stand equal to Merlin, to have the hug he’d needed since he was a child and be allowed to simply let go of every pretense and cry his heart out because this can never happen again. He’s allowed to say goodbye to both his master and Morgana who had both shaped so very much of his life but like the painting he’d always remained firmly in the long shadows of until that moment.

When Hisirdoux Casperan finally leaves Wizards if we just accidently deliberately put the shawarma back in along with checking in with Zoe before departure, it is with having learned to live during his wandering years but this is the point of true freedom because he can finally escape into his own light with Archie by his side to keep Nari out of the hands of those that would see the world harmed. It won’t be easy but it feels possible somehow even with the knowledge everything is simply running on borrowed time.

Then Rise of the Titans happens.

At first everything is genuinely fine! No more running, they engineer a solution shut the Order’s magic down to make them a lot less dangerous and potentially at least incapacitate them until they can come up with a longer-term solution but all the best laid plans and all that. Douxie’s quick thinking stops the train from crushing any of the people below and it’s a very him style move to switch places with Nari to stall for time because for some reason the plot disabled Claire from portaling her or any of the threatened people/heroes to safety. He openly sasses the Order despite knowing the consequences will be bad for him because once again he’s managed to trick them, buy time that at the other end isn’t even slightly utilised until he’s forced back into his own body in excruciating pain. Archie immediately mobs him with comfort just as he has done every single time the wizard is distressed or collapsed with exhaustion without thinking because that is what their bond is like, incredibly close and far more than the Soul Bond mark that connects them together. They’re very alike in that regard, you have to earn the right to touch while equally knowing exactly what form the other needs the most in that precise moment in a way very few others could.

Bar the moment of figuring out that an illusion is in place to hide where the Order is opening the Genesis Seals and the brief insistence on reconnecting with Nari somehow Douxie manages to forget everything that makes him who he is after this point choosing to stand in the background being very no thoughts head empty or can only use the most basic spells of his youthful days not the seasoned master wizard he should be. Nomura is treated like an innocent slip rather than an outright death he did absolutely nothing to prevent (Not to mention the stupid daytime thing) nor seems to care particularly about afterwards yet with Nari’s he’s allowed to openly grieve in a gorgeously animated visual showing how he’d failed to keep her safe despite everything. He did nothing to help here either mind despite allowing himself to be tortured in the same piece of media to keep her safe, just watched another loss happen right in front of his eyes in his conga long line of them.

Then there’s Archie, oh god then there was Archie.

The dragon who even here he’d been shown to have an incredibly close bond with him decides you know what sod that tell him goodbye I’m going to make a joke about having a kingdom now dad and me are trapped in here forever. Douxie on his part looked sad for all of three seconds saying that he hoped he’s happy like it's a pet that wandered out into the world one day and never came back instead of a lifelong companion that has been there for as long as he can remember. He was now completely alone in the world since Zoe was also written out entirely and because every bit of his background had been forgotten about it somehow meant nothing. This wasn’t “I know you miss him, I know you need to grieve but you are running out of time” moment like things had been with Charlie, this was “cool shapeshifting dragon cat is now stuck in a plot hole that’s a shame” with zero pay off or any of the genuine reaction that should have been there or hell even trying to Ohana him back that very second because it never should have happened in the first place. Then even this wasn’t enough somehow, they managed to de-power Douxie even further into uselessness bar the (Admittedly nifty!) sticky feet stunt, the one who fought Skrael and Bellroc to a stalemate was shunted aside with barely a thought and his head would somehow get even emptier.

The one person who knew the danger of time magic the most stood by and said nothing.

The one person who would suffer the most by a reset because the lynchpin to his issues would be asleep if you got it wrong and should have drilled it into Jim’s head the best time to aim for stood by and said nothing.

The one person who had just suffered the loss of his familiar, best friend and only family along with the almost sister like Nari stood by and said nothing.

Then to add further insult to injury the caption when Douxie and Archie is shown says Some go their entire lives living an existence of quiet desperation because every drop of his character growth, his ability to finally start addressing his trauma instilled back in the 12th century, the staff he longed for was instead openly mocked by going “Aww he got his cat friend back how nice!” Everything he’d rightfully earned and had now would be unable to progress until certain criteria are met because it hinges entirely on the Trollhunter going to Merlin’s tomb and there’s only so much your support network of two (One if she’s written out) can do, the root of the majority of his issues all stem from one man.

And this folks is why I’ve been going on multiple rants about Douxie in particular, everyone was hit with the out of character bat to some degree in this film but when they came for him they didn’t just stop after they took his legs out because they wanted him to suffer from something he’s never had any control over to begin with all over again. Abuse survivors deserve better, these characters deserve better and we as viewers deserve far far better writing than we were forced to endure.

#Ooc - Behind the curtains #Rise of the Titans #Rise of the Titans spoilers #RotT Spoilers #RoT spoilers #Wizards #Tales of Arcadia #ToAWizards #Hisirdoux Casperan #Douxie Casperan

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otakusheep15 · 3 years

Text

SFW Alphabet - Beelzebub

My first two did way better than expected, so I’m gonna continue this series with the rest of the brothers (and maybe the others as well).

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He is probably one of the more affectionate brothers (besides Asmo and Mammon). He’s quick to praise just about anything you do, even if it’s something small. As for physical affection, he is a sucker for hugs. He’ll randomly come up behind you and lift you up in a bear hug. Also, if you happen to cook, he’ll do that thing where he comes up behind you, wraps his arms around your middle, and lays his head on top of yours. Trust me, this boy does not shy away from affection, physical or verbal.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Honestly, he is the ideal best friend. You two would spend late nights sneaking into the kitchen for snacks and hoping to not run into Luci. You cheer him on at all of his games, and he’ll cheer you on if you do anything that involves competition. Being besties with him also means being besties with Belphie, so expect him to be a huge part of your life as well. You’ll often carry around snacks for him when he gets hungry. He likes to carry you around, both as a mini workout and because you’re tiny (compared to him) and he likes that he can pick you up so easily.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He totally picked up his love of cuddles from his twin. His favorite position is him laying on his back with you laying right on top of him. It doesn’t matter how big you may seem, cause your weight is virtually nothing to him. He also enjoys laying on his back or side with you laying your head on his chest while you two hold each other because that’s how him and Belphie usually end up when they share a bed.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Out of all the brothers, he is the most likely to want to settle down. He loves you so much and he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. As for household chores, he’s surprisingly good at them. He can cook decently because of his sin, and he actually doesn’t mind cleaning. He’ll do a lot of the harder chores so that you don’t have to work as much, but he still appreciates if you help him out.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He is one of the kindest demons to ever exist, so the other person would have had to been really bad for him to break up with them. He’d probably just tell them straight up that their relationship isn’t working out. It would be simple and to the point, but he’d still try and be nice so that not as any feelings are hurt.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I said, he would love to settle down with you. However, he would never push the idea much unless he’s sure you feel the same. If you don’t want to settle down, then he is more than happy to just be with you however you want. And if you do decide you want to officially settle down with him, he’d be so happy. He’d want to get married asap to ensure that you two can spend more time together.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s a big boy, and he knows it, so he always tries to be as gentle as possible. Of course, he can get a bit intense, especially when he gets excited. When he gets this excited, he’ll wrap you up in a tight hug that sometimes makes it hard to breathe. As for emotional gentleness, he’s the sweetest of the brothers, so he’s usually gentle regardless. However, he’ll sometimes get angry or aggressive when he’s hungry or someone upsets him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He is an absolute sucker for hugs. Physical touch is his main love language, so he loves giving hugs to everyone he cares about. You and Belphie are the main victims of his hugs, but his other brothers aren’t safe either. He also has a tendency to hug his teammates after a win.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Out of all the brothers, he probably the quickest to say it. He’s very affectionate by nature, so it’s no surprise that he would say it fairly early. That isn’t to say that he’s quick to fall in love, and he was honestly shocked when he realized he had fallen in love os fast. He’d be the type to say it super casually, maybe while y’all are just hanging out in the kitchen one night.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He isn’t super jealous simply because he trusts you. He knows that you’re loyal to him and that you love him like he loves you. Of course he has his moments; other demons hitting on you is the prime example. If this ever happens, his instincts tend to kick in since demons are possessive by nature. He’d probably feel bad after, but you assure him that it’s fine.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are super soft and filled with love. To him, your lips taste better than any sweet he’s ever had, so he loves kissing them whenever he can. Bonus points if you ate something super delicious before hand. On himself, he loves being kissed on his chest and stomach. He works super hard on his body, and he loves when you notice and take the time to truly show how much you love his body.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Out of all the brothers, he’s probably the best with kinds. Not that he necessarily likes them, he’s just kinda neutral towards them for the most part. However, for some odd reason, kids seem to love him. It’s kinda like how kids just know someone’s personality without actually knowing them, kinds just know that he’s a sweetheart underneath all that muscle. So, he eventually came around to them after he realized how much kids seemed naturally drawn to him.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are usually spent with you getting woken up by him attempting to quietly get out of bed to go find food, despite the fact that he is never quiet during this time. After that, you two get ready and go down to breakfast, Most of the time, he tries to give you extra food to eat (cause that how he shows love) but you can never finish it all, so you give it to him. Then you walk to school together.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are usually spent hanging out in his room, sometimes with Belphie, but mostly without. You two spend some time together studying or just talking while accompanied by large amounts of snacks for him. You two then get into bed together and cuddle until he has to get up in the middle of the night due to hunger.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He seems pretty open on the surface, and he does trust you enough to tell you about his past fairly quickly, but there are some things he keeps hidden even after you two have been together for a while. he will eventually open up to you about everything, but it might take him a while.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He is pretty patient for the most part. Really, he only gets impatient if he’s hungry, or if someone is threatening/bothering someone he cares about. Besides that, he’s the most patient and respectful demon around. He’ll help you out with whatever you need, and he’ll never yell at you or rush you if you need some time.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

This boy remembers everything you tell him. It could be the smallest of details or something you just said in passing, but he’ll still remember it. It’s honestly quite surprising how good of a memory he has. If fact, he’s probably the brother who has the best memory just in general.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite memory is the first time you cooked for him. Not when you have cooking duty, since that’s cooking for the whole house, but when you made something specifically for him. You made him a human world cheese burger since that’s his favorite. He actually teared up a little at the sight of it. Not only was it his favorite meal, but it was made by his favorite human. Obviously, it wasn’t enough to fill his stomach, but it was more than enough to fill his heart. Ugh that was so cheesy.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is super, SUPER protective. Not just of you, but his whole family. After all, he is physically the strongest, and he knows how intimidating he is. If he finds someone bullying you or one of his brothers, he will not hesitate to eat them, demon or otherwise. Secretly though, it can get tiring being the protector of his family, which is why he appreciates when you stand up for him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Honestly, he tries so hard to make everything perfect. Usually, he tries to theme dates around food, and he always tries to make you something (or get Belphie to make something) but he almost always ends up eating it, which makes him really sad because he tried so hard. However, you tell him that whatever he does is absolutely perfect, and you love him regardless of how date plans end up.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Obviously, his eating habit tend to get pretty bad, but it’s not like he can really help that. His hunger does calm down when you two get together, but it’s still very much there. He often steals your food, or forces you away from whatever you were doing in order to take you to get food. He’s currently trying to ease up, but it’s difficult for him and he needs time to learn how to control his urges better.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not very concerned with his looks in the same way Asmo and Mammon are, but he does like to take care of his body. He works very hard to maintain all that muscle, and he loves the attention it gets him. He’s not all that vain, but having people admire his body does give him a little confidence boost.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely he would. You help quell a large part of his hunger, and he could not imagine his life without you anymore. Honestly, you could leave him for two minutes to use the bathroom, and he’ll still sulk like a lost puppy the entire time.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I headcanon that he is actually the most self-conscious of all the brothers. Where Levi is more open about how much he hates himself, he usually tends to keep it all in, making it even worse. The only time he ever lets it out is in moments where he feels safe and at ease. These times are usually with you and/or Belphie. It’s kinda shocking at first when you find out just how much he hates himself, but it does make sense. He blames himself for Lilith’s death, he is constantly just watered down to food and muscles, and almost everyone is super scared of him. It’s no wonder he would start to act like Levi, even if just behind closed doors.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He despises anyone who cooks like Solomon. In general, he hates anyone who goes after the people he cares about. He also doesn’t like people who are super obnoxious or self-centered (Asmo is an exception cause he can’t really control that).

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Obviously, he has that habit of waking up at random hours of the night for food. But, when he’s actually asleep, he has a tendency to fall out of bed. He is larger than average, even for a demon, so it would make sense that his bed might not always be able to hold him. When he sleeps with someone, they can also expect to be pushed out at least once.

#OBEY ME #shall we date obey me #shall we date beelzebub #beelzeebub #headcanon #sfw alphabet

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merminns · 3 years

Text

No regrets

Erwin Smith x Reader

❧ Request: Hii may i request...Erwin angst...when (S3 spoiler) Erwin march toward the 🐒 with the other soldier, instead of him tht went, it was the reader. Reader just cant make the humanity lost their commander so when he is distracting (idk something happened) reader just take their horse n march with the soldiers, (then do ur magic DETAILS like ur erwin stories✨✨) n levi also decide not to save us like in the s3....shshsh i know this lame :33

❧ Content/Warnings: platonic levi x reader, season 3 spoilers, angst, mentions of injuries and blood, reader dies in the end

❧ Word count: 3k

❧ Notes: this is a repost from my old blog

Going back to shiganshina after all of these years was a huge deal. Especially after the glorious send-off you were given by the citizens of Wall Rose. You came back to reclaim Wall Maria after six long years, you’re taking back your land and defeating the titans that filled your hearts with terror, cause that’s what heroes do.

But in reality, it didn’t really feel that way to you. Instead of being the hero who’s facing their fear, you feel like a terrified child living in a nightmare.

You expected a fight with the titans, of course, you did. Taking back your land won’t come without a fight, without losses. And it’s not your first time facing titans.

You’ve been fighting them for years now, getting rid of them one after the other alongside your friends. Your records are filled with a decent number of kills and you are proud of it.

But this… this is different, you’ve never been in this situation before. You fought titans and you watched them kill your comrades in the worst ways imaginable, but never in your various years within the survey corps did you ever imagine that these monsters would show this tactical intelligence.

It made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Titans are a nightmare on their own, with intelligence like that you’re surely done for.

When you came to shiganshina you expected a fight against the armored and the colossal, even the beast titan, but not a tactical war with pure titans that follow command, and most certainly not rocks killing your most skilled comrades and caging you against the wall.

Despite your fear, you felt a sarcastic chuckle slip past your lips. You’ve lived for years with nightmares of being eaten, and now you’re dying in a titan game of baseball, how pathetic.

Your eyes drifted to Erwin and Levi who were having a private conversation nearby as you tried to calm the panicking recruits. Erwin… your commander, your love, the man who never knew how to back down. He's not in the best physical state, but he just had to come along. He had to be here even though he knew he won't be able to fight.

Despite the fear eating at your heart, you kept your composure, that’s the least you owed your commander. After the recruits calmed down, you made your way to where Erwin and Levi stood. Their conversation halted as you stood in front of them, their eyes holding something unreadable in their depth.

"I'm hoping these looks mean you came up with a plan… " You spoke, your voice coming with the quiver you never hoped to show.

A moment of silence passed, a look shared between Erwin and Levi… if this meant anything then you weren’t about to hear good news. There was tension in the air as Erwin explained his plan to you. It was then that you understood the look in their eyes, you think a similar one can be seen in your eyes now.

It finally dawned on you that this is the end. There is no way out of this war alive. Erwin's plan had a single meaning; if you keep standing where you are, you'll be flattened by the rocks thrown at you by the beast, and if you fight back, you die. You'll have to give your lives so Levi could deal with the Beast Titan.

You always knew this day would come. A war with the titans can’t end without casualties. The survey corps numbers were always changing. These are all facts, but you had hoped it wouldn’t be like this.

The fear was eating at your insides, it’s impossible to face titans without it, but you knew ever since your very first day with the corps that you’ll have to be ready to give your life. You were ready to accept it… that is, until Erwin spoke up again.

"We'd have to ask these young people to give up their lives. You'd need the skills of a first-rate con man to come up with a reason that convincing, so I doubt any of them would charge forward unless I was leading the way."

His words are like a slap back to reality, it wasn’t just your life you were giving. All of your remaining comrades will have to give theirs too, including the commander. The survey corps are going to be wiped out in a crazy move of mass suicide. But it wasn’t only your lives that would have to be given, and all it took was one look in Erwin’s eyes to know where this was going.

"Which would mean I'd be the first to die, " Erwin said and you held your breath waiting for his next words "without ever learning… what was in that basement."

You knew it, you knew this was coming but it still hurt. Amid this chaos, you managed to forget the reason why Erwin insisted to be here in the first place.

'Oh, Erwin, if only you weren't so stubborn' The words were dancing on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t speak.

Of course, Erwin has dreams, he’s just as much of a human as everyone here. While most of the corps were fighting for freedom or revenge, Erwin was fighting for the truth, for evidence that his father’s death meant something.

The look of shock on Levi’s face came nowhere close to the pain you felt. You joined the scouts for a purpose, too. Your dream was freedom, you hoped to be free of the confinement and the terror that the existence of the titans brought. But, now that you think about it, you did get a taste of freedom.

You were free from the confinement of the walls on your horse, feeling the air rushing through your hair and over your skin every time you went out on an expedition.

You were free of terror every time you raised your swords to cut through the nape of a titan’s neck. Every time you brought a titan down you had a taste of the freedom you were chasing.

And the people who fought for revenge, didn’t they get that too? They killed titans, they felt the satisfaction of getting rid of the enemy who hurt them and their loved ones.

The only dream that was never given a chance was Erwin’s. How unfair could the world be to take away the only chance from the man who helped give almost every soldier in the scouts a taste of their dreams? No… he can’t die, not yet.

You let Erwin give his speech. That’s one thing that no one else can do. Erwin is the only one who can convince the recruits, crying out in fear, to stand tall and fight back as they take their last breaths of the air filled with the smell of dust and death.

As Erwin and the recruits were absorbed in their final thoughts and the speech, you slightly pulled on Levi’s sleeve pulling him back several steps.

The first step of your plan came into action as you answered Levi’s questioning look with a whisper “I want you to distract him.”

“What?” Levi asked, the confusion only growing on his face.

“I want you to distract Erwin. He is giving his speech, I’ll lead the recruits to their death,” you say, your whole being pleading that Levi would agree to help you. He has to, this won’t work out without his help.

“But—”

“Levi, please. The scouts still need him, you know that!” you pause glancing back at Erwin to make sure he’s not listening “When it’s time to move, I want you to pull him aside, tell him it’s something important. It’ll only take a few seconds, then you can carry out your part of the plan and kill the beast.”

“And how do you plan to stop Erwin from following you?”

“I’ll take any extra horses with me, he won’t be able to help you kill the beast and his odm gear won’t do much for him to follow after me,” you held your breath, your eyes pleading. This has to work “Please! Just do me this final favor.”

A moment passed as Levi glanced at Erwin then back to you, his expression unreadable. It was obvious your sacrifice isn’t just for the sake of the corps. “...Fine, but you’ll have to be quick”

“I’ll do my best… Thank you, Levi” the smile that spread across your face was blinding. It held so much gratitude, a final thank you combined with a goodbye.

It didn’t take long for Erwin’s words to give everyone back their composure. You helped everyone fall in line as fast as possible. You are running out of time. The houses around you are almost flattened. You have to move forward, this has to work. You can’t fail this, it has to be meaningful, for you, for the recruits who’ll pay their lives with you, for the whole of humanity… and most importantly, for Erwin.

Everyone is on their horses but it’s not time to move yet. You let your eyes meet Levi’s for one last time giving him a slight nod, signaling for him that you’re ready as you settled on your horse.

Levi stopped Erwin from riding his horse beside you, telling him there’s something important that he has to know first and pulling him aside. He walked Erwin as far from you and the recruits as possible without making it seem suspicious.

Erwin followed urgently after Levi not even allowing you one last look at his face. But that was ok, you didn’t need to see his face, it was already burned to the back of your eyelids.

It all took a few seconds, once you saw Levi and Erwin start talking you took hold of Erwin’s horse and started screaming encouragements for the recruits to charge as you rushed forward. Erwin’s shock had him freeze for a couple of seconds and that was enough for you.

You charged forward with the recruits right after you. Levi waited for a few more seconds to make sure Erwin wouldn’t follow after you. When he was sure you were far enough he took off towards his target, leaving Erwin standing there alone his eyes wide in shock.

Your screams of encouragement were so loud, louder than Erwin ever heard them. They were loud enough that even though you were too far away for him to follow he could still hear your voice filled with determination.

You didn’t look back, there was no reason to. This is the right decision, this plan will work and Erwin will lead what’s left of the scouts to victory. Your life is a small price to pay, it’s nothing compared to the rest of the lives that were already lost.

You can see the beast drawing his hand back, getting ready to shower you with the next round of crushed boulders. Your yelling never stopped even though your throat was running sore from all the screaming.

You didn’t stop when the flares were shot, not when the rocks started showering the frontline lead by you. You didn’t stop when the rocks started growing larger in your vision, you hardly even saw them. All you could see was the future, a bright one without the titans and the fear and the pain. You could see the past, the best and the worst of it. All the memories that you shared with every single one of your comrades.

You kept yelling for everyone to rush forward as tears ran down your face. It’s going to be ok, you had all you ever needed. It was time for you to follow through the same path your fallen comrades walked.

Your screams were cut short when the first rock hit you, sharp pain running through your whole body and the world started spinning as you fell off your horse. The tears still filling your eyes helped blind you, sharp whistles filling your ears and the ever-growing pain flowing through you in waves.

You could hear screams of the fallen around you, hidden behind the ringing in your ears. You could feel the air rushing across your skin as the soldiers rushed past you on their horses. Your mind was as paralyzed with pain as your body.

You just laid on the ground, your tear-filled eyes directed to the blue of the sky but the world has lost its color. It went on forever until you were numb, you have lost all feeling, the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heart growing faint as the blood pooled around your body.

You let your eyelids cover your eyes like curtains, your mind swimming somewhere between consciousness and an endless void. You could hardly feel a thing.

It almost felt like falling asleep, your grasp on reality slipping away. But through the back of your mind, the tiny part that was still conscious could feel your body being moved by someone and a rapid rush of air running across your skin.

It gave a jolt to your brain as if something is trying to pull you back to reality but you were too weak. All you wanted was some rest, you just wanted to sleep.

It was a shock to everyone that you’re still alive. You were in bad shape after losing so much blood. Your breath was faint, but it was there and it was enough for you to be revived by the injection. Armin’s state was worse, the fact he was still breathing was a complete miracle, his whole burned away.

Through your clouded consciousness, you could register voices and movement around your body that laid motionless close to Armin’s. It took everything in you to open your eyes, to try to make out the words being yelled back and forth around you.

Through your blurry vision, you could make out the outline of a face so close to yours, peering down at you. You couldn’t see clearly but you knew it was Erwin. Your hearing wasn’t fully registered but you could make out a few words, things like ‘Armin’, ‘Injection’, ‘need’, and your name.

Your foggy mind could barely understand what was going on, but questions started to fill up the part of your consciousness still present.

Were you dying? The last thing you remember is sharp pain rushing through you in waves, but it seems more like a distant memory.

Was Armin dying? If there are mentions of Levi’s injection then this surely is the case.

A few seconds passed when a new figure appeared in your limited line of vision looking down at you over Erwin’s shoulder. Both of them shifted around until the short figure disappeared again, leaving you with Erwin.

Erwin’s voice was so close to your ears, faint whispers about how it’s going to be alright falling past his lips. You felt a huge hand wrap gently around your forearm, followed by a sharp object touching your arm. The injection!

“No,” The barely audible whisper that left you halted Erwin’s actions as his eyes shot to your face “Did we win?”

It felt like too much time has passed before you heard Erwin’s reply “Yes, it’s over”

You were using up too much of your energy to fight back the fog filling your mind. Just a few seconds more, a few more and you’ll allow yourself some rest.

“Save… Armin” your voice was growing weaker, breaths growing shorter.

It broke Erwin’s heart. He was once again being selfish, everyone else chose to save you because you had more experience. To them, you were more valuable to the scouts, with the exception of Armin’s friends who couldn’t accept the fact of him dying.

And Erwin? He wasn’t much different. He wanted to save you because he needed to. He needed to scold you for the stupid move you pulled. He needed to tell you that he would’ve preferred dying by your side than be faced with your death. He needed you to live.

You didn’t understand, he can’t let you die. There was no time for him to explain how valuable you are to the scouts, how valuable you are to him.

He was about to ignore what you said, bring the syringe back to your arm again but with the almost non-existent strength you had, you pulled away.

“Armin” you whispered again, weakly. Your strength wasn’t enough for you to pull back completely, just slightly shift your arm away from the sharp needle, but it was enough to send your message across.

Erwin understood. You were never as selfish as him. You always made the decisions that would benefit the ones you care about most. Erwin took a shaky breath, the composure he usually kept was there for everyone’s eyes, but he wasn’t as composed on the inside.

Armin is a valuable soldier. He is an essential part of the scouts and you understood that. He should be the one to live. And Erwin knew this fight would make no difference if he couldn’t throw everything he had away.

He was ready to throw his dreams and his life away, but you chose for him. You decided he’d keep his life and dreams but in exchange, he’d have to give you up.

After injecting Armin and pulling your weak body away, Erwin stayed by your side. He kept his one hand placed on your heart, waiting for the faint beating to completely stop. And it would have lasted longer if you hadn’t used up so much energy.

To your weak mind, this was the right decision. Armin would do more change for the scouts, for humanity than you ever could. You had no regrets, you’ve got everything you ever asked for.

You allowed your eyes to rest again, let the energy leave your body. And with the last few seconds your breath was there, you could register one whisper. I love you.

Masterlist | Share thoughts with me ☺

#erwin smith #erwin smith x reader #attack on titan erwin #erwin smith angst #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kiojin #aot angst #snk angst #attack on titan angst #shingeki no kiojin angst #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #tw: death #tw: blood #tw: injury

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ohmysparkle · 3 years

Text

🌙 Part I

🌙 Pairing: Jung Jaehyun (NCT) x Reader, Johnny (NCT) x Reader

🌙 Genre: Angst, Soulmate au

🌙 Word count: 3K

🌙 Warnings: the sadness of it all!!! Drinking, mentions of abandonment and cheating, mental illness and bad coping.

🌙 Series Masterlist

🌙 Note: This series was sparked by an ask from my first account. It’s been collecting dust for a few months, but I’ve always had the intention of finishing it!! It’s been slightly rewritten.

🌙 Tag List: @justineasian

Life was…

Well, something.

Sometimes you would say it was horrible. Horribly lonely, horribly difficult, horribly pathetic. Sometimes you would say it wasn’t worth living. Sometimes you looked back on all of the milestones in your life that brought you to where you were and you’d say it wasn’t worth it all. But then, you had one thing in this complicated life that sometimes made life with living.

One thing, one person: your soulmate. Now, everyone had theirs. Everyone was destined to meet them at least once. Most of the time, they spent their lives together, in love and union. Other times, they would meet at the wrong time and place, or already be enamoured with others. Regardless, you looked forward to meeting yours, and you mustered the strength to start every day with a smile, just in case today was that day.

Some people described meeting your soulmate as a sort of ping in their mind, others as if the world was colorless before and then became full of color, some even said it was like a magnetic force pulled them towards each other. Something would happen that would make you undeniably certain that you had met them - something monumental.

You felt giddy and giggled at the thought of what you would feel. Would today be that day? When you finally had someone beside you, someone to build a home with? ‘Could I be that lucky today?’

Maybe you were too focused on it. You longed for it. It was the answer to everything you had ever asked for. Love - which had been so absent in your life, had been a difficult thing to find. For years now, without your parents, you had been lonely and searching for someone you could feel loved and protected by. Perhaps that led you to so desperately and easily throw yourself into the arms of the wrong men, assuming that the most superficial things meant true love, meant happiness and security. When the veil of your enthusiasm, and your ignorance, finally peeled back, reality would crash down on you - leaving you feeling betrayed, hurt, and worst of all stupid.

Maybe you shouldn’t excite yourself so much over the prospect of your soulmate? What if it was just another heartbreak? You’d heard these stories before - it could happen. People aren’t born a certain way, they become a certain way as they live life, as they live as their own selves and it was possible to stray so much from your original self that the love you were destined for at birth was no longer fated to be.

Maybe, just maybe, you should have prepared yourself better for that horrible, horrible outcome.

As you had just begun attending university, you had slowly acquainted yourself with the campus. Today of all days, you decided to sit down at an unassuming coffee shop that rested in what seemed to have once been a residential house. The tables were plentiful among rooms strewn with books and old furniture, there was a stale scent from the old paper and wood, matched with some sweet brewing chai and rich coffee. It wasn’t too full, moderately quiet. You thought it would be a nice replacement to your usual table at the library.

You snake through the tables and bulky chairs as you try to find the perfect spot, your hips occasionally grazing the furniture, when -

“Excuse me, you dropped this.” Someone says as you’re nearing a table, and as you turn to see the stranger holding up your student ID, you feel it.

A dizzying, pleasant sensation that elevated your senses to a new standard. Everything seemed brighter, clearer, more vivid, and it all drove you to him, his eyes, his face, his voice, even his scent. Whatever it was, he could feel it too, as his eyes went wide while looking into yours. It was like you were absorbing everything in your surroundings with every fiber of your being, but all of it began, and concluded, in your perception of him.

You slightly dipped backward from the intensity of it all, your knees going weak from the sudden onslaught of feelings, but he caught you in his arms, and it felt so right. Your ears rang, and at some moment, which you hardly perceived, both of you were sitting down on a small couch that he had steered you towards.

It took a moment for the two of you to regain your senses, and naturally you looked towards each other.

“I’m Y/n.” You finally say, looking at him with a beaming smile… until… he casts his eyes downward.

“What’s your name?” you finally ask him. Had his resolve been stronger, he would have resisted the sweetness in your voice. He would have ignored you, he should have left you.

“Jaehyun.” He finally says. It’s all he says, he has already said one word too many.

“Jaehyun. I like that name.” He was probably feeling nervous, you reason, he most likely is at a loss of words.

“Look, Y/n.” He says while abruptly getting up and standing in front of you. “I know what we just felt means we’re soulmates, but I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. And look, this isn’t about you, you’re probably a nice girl, but you should just forget this happened and go find yourself someone who actually wants to love you.”

And after that rant, which left you completely frozen and baffled, he left.

He just left.

As if you had dreamed him up and he hadn’t even been there in the first place - he was gone.

You didn’t understand. It didn’t make sense. You were still dumbfounded and after that encounter you had been so distraught that you just headed home. After hours of replaying the scenario over and over again in your mind, you finally settled to cry over it until you fell asleep.

Your only conclusion was to find him. You needed to see him again, talk to him, and reason with him. What had been so wrong about him meeting you that he abandoned you like that? He abandoned you as if you meant nothing to him.

It’s odd now, that after meeting your soulmate you felt so lost. It was a bit stupid on your end; every day went on to the next based on the hope that you would meet the one, but it never occurred to you to think beyond. What comes after?

There was no splendid meeting, no love at first sight, only rejection. What else was there for you to look forward to? What happens now?

So, after that, waking up in the mornings went back to what they used to be. One horrible day after the other, mustering the strength to start the day with a smile, just in case today was that day when you’d meet your soulmate - for the second time. It would have been worse to surrender to the fate that you’d never see him again, because then the days would become voids; nothingness heading toward nothingness.

It’s funny how you measure time. Time is energy, energy forcing yourself to get up and live, energy spent and consumed, replenished with food and drink and sleep, and then all over again, like a battery draining and recharging itself. Except there is no purpose to this energy, it was just existence.

It was actually three days. A dozen or so cycles of your ups and downs, and on one dreary walk to a campus cafeteria to grab lunch, just when your energy was about to deplete, you saw him.

It was like a bolt of lightning shot through you and you were awake again, aroused from the limbo. He didn’t see you, he was at a table with his friends, and you still don’t know if it was the connection that blindly led you to him, or your need for answers, or just the desire to see if he would accept you the second time around. Nonetheless you approached, stubbornly.

One of his friends noticed you first, handsome, and he nudged the one sitting beside him with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows, a sort of ‘check her out’.

“Can I help you with anything cutie?” Says the first young man.

“Um… I need to talk to him.” You answer, meekly pointing towards Jaehyun who sat near the pair.

“Oh, do we have a date?” Said the second, teasing and flirting.

“No, I need to speak to Jaehyun.” You say a little more loudly, and at this, his eyes raise from the notebook he was preoccupied with, and again they go wide. It was as if time froze when he looked at you, and as he stayed frozen in place his friends gradually caught on to the strange interaction.

“Jaehyun, can we please talk?” You say again, firmly and resolute. It took a shake from a third young man who sat beside him for him to finally react.

“No, sorry.” He said as he buried his nose back into his notes. His third friend looked up at you in confusion and sympathy, and it was obvious that some of his friends had been taken aback by his abrupt tone. But you stood your ground.

“Jaehyun, you and I should speak.” You surprised yourself with the steadiness of your tone since you felt your emotions begin to build up. The heat spread upwards from your neck to your face. After years of being cast aside, these situations no longer made you feel small or saddened, but the anger still managed to escape from you. Indignation - this wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

And yet here you begged.

Jaehyun simply acted like you weren’t there. You gave him a few seconds, the same third friend leaned into his ear to insist that he “say something”, but Jaeyun acted as if nothing was happening. Others at the table looked at you with a bit of pity, another thing that made you angry. It all made you furious.

“You can pretend all you want that I’m not here, but we both know perfectly well that you shouldn’t be avoiding this. At least have the decency to talk to me, you coward.” The tears stung at your eyes and your voice began to pitch upward and shake as your words progressed. Frustration, anger, rejection. The words were spit out like venom, and before they could see a single droplet of the pain spill from your eyes, you had left.

But at night, after you went home and kept crying, it was that same old sadness and smallness that absorbed you.

How many days had or hadn’t you slept by now?

You didn’t count.

How many classes had you missed?

No idea.

Meals and water?

Sometimes when you felt like you needed them, other times when you just felt like it; be it less or more. Drunkenness and candy highs. Hunger and coffee. No decent meals to be seen though. Water on occasion.

You’d been going to the nearby 7-11 so often that a couple of cashiers knew your name by memory now, memorized from your ID. They’d throw you a concerned look when they watched you walk out with nothing but junk food and alcohol, sometimes at unreasonable hours.

It’s during one of these supply runs, when you’re sipping wine from the bottle while walking back to your apartment on a particularly hot afternoon, that someone stops you.

“Hey! Hey, excuse me! Hey!” You can hear someone running behind you. Oh goodness, this is not something you’re looking forward to. Why can’t this wine just be drunk in peace?

You don’t even turn to meet the source of the voice, instead, you find him running around to your front to stand face to face with you and cut off your path.

“Hey! You’re Y/n, right?” He asks breathlessly. You slurp some wine from the bottle, holding it flimsily from its neck while your other arm carries another bag full of more depression supplies.

“Yes.” You answer, regretting you were not yet tipsy. He looks a bit concerned at your state. A stained tank top with a strap hanging off of your shoulder, worn out denim shorts and flip flops, a careless bundle of hair. Sure, it was a reasonable look for the hot afternoon, but in your current disposition, he could tell you weren’t doing well.

“Can we talk somewhere?” He asks with worry.

“No.” Goodness, just move out of my way. You begin to walk past him but he backtracks so he’s still in front of you and he grabs you by your arms.

“Please, it’s about Jaehyun.” He finally says. You wanted to say no, but something compelled you to agree. No, nothing really compelled you, it was more just the ease of agreeing. You didn’t have the energy in you to fight back.

“Fine. Come along.” You say, moving to continue the short walk towards your apartment building, on which he wordlessly trails behind you.

Despite your current humor, your apartment managed to stay clean. It looked neat, tidy, cozy, like it belonged to someone in better spirits. That was something that Jaehyun’s friend found entirely surprising.

“Sit.” You gestured toward the small living room while setting your bag on the kitchen counter, not once letting go of your wine bottle. His friend sat, and wondered how to best approach the subject at hand.

“You’re his soulmate, aren’t you?” His friend suddenly asks and you chuckle before bringing the bottle up to your lips again. “I - I’m sorry that’s not how I should have started out.”

“You’re right.” You simply state.

“I’m Johnny.”

“Hi Johnny.”

“Look, I know this sounds weird, but I felt like I needed to talk to you. Jae sometimes… he’s difficult.” Johnny sighs, “I kinda guessed what had happened and I felt like someone needed to tell you about it.”

“Shouldn’t he be telling me about ‘it’?” You reply flatly. Standing before him, looking down at the tall man, you begin to feel a bit regretful of your coldness towards him. He didn’t seem ill-intentioned, and the more you looked at him and puzzled together his reason for approaching you, you assumed he’d been there to extend a bit of an olive branch. You sighed too, and Johnny saw the firmness in your posture soften a bit. It surprised him though, that you sat beside him, and his heart broke a little as he saw your downcast eyes.

“What do you need to tell me?” You ask in the softest of voices.

“I tried to talk to Jae about it… about why you came up to him the way you did and why he ignored you like that.” You hum in response, letting him know you were listening.

“At first I thought you were just another one of those girls.” He continues, “But Jaehyun had seemed different for a while so I asked him about you.”

“What do you mean ‘another one of those girls’?”

“Well, Jae’s pretty popular… and he’s got a bit of a reputation.”

“I’ve never heard about him before.” You reply, “I just started studying here.”

“Well, maybe it’s best if you hear it from me then. But Jaehyun, he’s not good - I mean he is a good person - he just… does bad things sometimes.”

“… Johnny?” you ask after a while of silence.

“Someone hurt him, really bad. It was the first time he had fallen in love, she was his first everything… and she was sleeping around with people behind his back the entire time, but Jaehyun caught her. She claimed that the guy she was sleeping with that time was her ‘soulmate’, and that it was a moment of passion, but she was going to tell him… just a bunch of excuses…”

“And?”

“Turns out he wasn’t… just another guy she was sleeping with. It took him a while to piece the entire story together, but you can guess how he felt about it.”

“Oh.” You still don’t look at Johnny.

“The way he treated you… it isn’t about you. He’s spent the last couple of years breaking one heart after the other. He just can’t love - and it’s his way of getting back at her, I guess.” Johnny grabs your shoulder and turns to look at you but your eyes still avoid his. “He’s not a bad person. I tried talking to him but he never listens, he knows he’s not right but I’ll try to make him listen, I promise.”

You begin to cry, curling into yourself and Johnny can’t help but hug you. You let him. It only felt natural.

“I waited for this my entire life..” You sob with a cracking and hideous voice, and with awfully wet sniffles. “This isn’t fair! He could love me and you’re telling me he’s just too mean to! It’s not fair.”

“You’re right, and I’m sorry, I promise I’ll talk to him. For you.” His words were reassuring, but you found more comfort in the gesture of it all. Johnny - who you had just met - was Jaehyun’s friend, but at that moment he felt like he was yours.

He stayed there for a while, rubbing and patting your back. You could tell it wasn’t the first time he had tried to mend the broken hearts Jaehyun had left behind.

You lifted your head up, meeting his eyes just inches away from his face. Your cheeks and lashes wet, your face hot and eyes red. He couldn’t help but swipe the tears away with his thumb, and your natural reaction was to lean your face into his palm.

“Thank you, Johnny.” you tell him once he’s stepping out of your apartment, “Thank you for everything.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to him, I promise you.” He sends you one final solemn smile before turning to head out.

It’s odd that now, after meeting your soulmate's best friend, you didn’t feel so lost.

#nct angst #nct jaehyun angst #nct Johnny angst #nct imagines #nct au

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