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batrogers · 2 months

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Civilized Or Not

So there’s some common Zelda fanon I wanna talk about, relating to civilization tropes I think some of y’all haven’t really thought about in detail before, and that’s Hyrule (Zelda 1 &2 Link), Wild (BOTW mostly), and Ravio (LbW).

I’m using the Linked Universe names, because that’s where most of it comes up, because these things happen most often where you can contrast the boys with each other. This is often done, quick and dirty, by people assigning “roles” to each without much thought. Ravio’s unfortunately tends to be extremely pervasive outside LU spaces, too.

But, in brief, there is a trend for people to craft these characters in a framework of innocent vs savagery vs trickery that can have some really unfortunate implications I’m not sure many are even aware of. Hopefully I can explain better where these ideas come from, why they’re so easy and appealing, and why we should try to avoid repeating them for more than just the sake of “easy” but also to stop repeating some really nasty historical tropes.

I would start from what’s probably the simplest one to address: the tendency towards a “feral” personification of Wild. This tends to come from two places: Wild’s amnesia, and the collapse of society around him and his lost place in it.

Now, brain damage is complicated. You can lose a range of things to any given injury because of the way information is encoded differently and in different places. You can lose memory and/or skills and/or coordination and/or balance, etc, because it all depends on what got damaged. But in-game a lot of stuff suggests that Link retains things like speech, reading/writing, coordination, and martial skills. None of the people who knew Link prior to his injury suggest he seems changed in any way not attributed to stress and anxiety...

And, more importantly, real people suffer memory loss just like that in the real world. Treating him like he’s become “feral” due to memory loss is cruel to actual people living with brain damage today, and if you go there you should have a good reason for it.

Social collapse is a wide-spread theme in basically every Zelda game. The threat that the Big Bad poses is almost always the destruction of society as it exists: Malladus literally vanishes the infrastructure of New Hyrule in Spirit Tracks; the Twilight turns people into spirits living lives they don’t realize are questionably real in Twilight Princess; Veran freezes the passage of time to force people to work forever in Oracle of Ages. King Daphnes and Ganondorf under the sea vie over the fate of the world above in Wind Waker: keep what’s been made, or start all over again?

In modern culture, people tell a lot of stories about the fragility of civilization and what happens in its absence. You get the range from Lord of the Flies, in which children wrecked on an island attempt (and fail) to recreate civilization on their own, Kipling’s “The Jungle Book” in which Mowgli is treated as reckless and innocent, and a much more obscure piece from the 18th century “Paul et Virginie” (and likely many more I don’t know offhand.) Essentially all of them play with the question of how do people become civilized, and what happens when they do? In Lord of the Flies, the children were civilized and failed to maintain it; in the Jungle Book, the boy wasn’t civilized and innocently interacts with it. In Paul et Virginie, the children were (relatively) uncivilized on the (French colonized) Mauritius, raised by their mothers but when the girl was sent away, she becomes civilized and dies tragically to preserve it.

The two Links most removed from civilization are Hyrule and Wild. Wild “lost” civilization, losing both his memories of it and the structure of it. Making him feral, without manners, and without a place to belong is that kind of Lord of the Flies savagery mixed with Mowgli’s innocent playfulness: there isn’t a structure to adhere to, so he’s a savage. Whereas Hyrule is more like the Paul eg Virginie side: innocent of civilization, he remains pure and sweet and kind, unable to conceive of big concepts like evil or money or so on. Neither position permits them to interact with the civilization that is right there in front of them! Wild can buy a house; he has people who know and care for him. He has social connections and social rights. The world exists, but the fandom does not seem to want him to interact with it in favour of remaining “wild.” In Zelda 2 – a game explicitly set within a decade of Zelda 1 – there are whole towns with trade and a castle and massive structures with on-going life in them... but very few fans seem to ever reach into that story or relate it back to the first. Hyrule, the character, does not exist within Hyrule, the country.

Strangely, Wind Waker does not fall prey to this, I think because the structures are presented as fait accompli: Link wakes up with his grandmother and his sister, he has a defined home, and a society in which you spend the entire game forced to engage with. Zelda 1 & 2 were not sophisticated enough to waste resources on going as in depth in social terms (although such interactions absolutely exist in Zelda 2!) and BOTW leaves such interactions as optional: you can survive the game with minimal social contact... but it’s a choice to play with it that way, not the default. The ways in which this edges onto the noble savage trope, in which “uncivilized” tribes are either innocent or brutish (rather than complex social systems in their own right) is fairly obvious.

There is one other character in Zelda who gets treated to the question of whether he is an innocent, free of civilization and all its rigour... or something else. Ravio, coming from the devastated world of Lorule, can often wind up slotted into the scared, innocent child trope and unfortunately that’s the better position people frequently take. The worse one evokes the Merchant of Venice: the deceitful, Jewish merchant who values money over people’s lives.

Lorule (and Nintedo’s approach towards their humanoid Zelda villains in general) is near-eastern-coded in many ways, down to the fact that Yuga’s outfit is the spitting image of Ottoman dress. Yuga being a depraved bisexual (a common historical trope about Muslim men towards Christian men and boys), and Hilda being deceitful and conspiring against everyone she was once allied to are a backdrop to the ways in which Ravio is a greedy coward. He’s not an evil character in the game; the mechanic of penalizing death without being too severe is interesting and works well! But that doesn’t take away the stereotype, just like it’s not okay Nabooru is pretty explicitly predatory towards child Link in Ocarina of Time, too.

Arab and Jewish stereotypes often converge, because both people's originate from the same region, and both are hostile "Others" to Christian Europe and Nintendo doesn’t have a great track record of their near-Eastern coding in Zelda. It crosses the whole gamut from harem and amazon tropes with the Gerudo to breath-takingly anti-semitic or anti-black (Ganondorf being green, eg. non-human, in various incarnations), all packaged neatly in the ideal of medieval fantasy Europe. The scale would be impressive if it wasn’t so damn awful, but we can at least stop repeating it in our fanworks.

Wild doesn’t have to be feral to be a playful little shit; Hyrule doesn’t have to be pure and innocent to be kind. Ravio doesn’t need to be innocent or scheming, and he shouldn’t place money over Link’s well-being (If you chose to respawn at home, he is consistently only ever concerned for Link! Once you buy the items outright, he promises he'll still be there to take care of you.)

Do better. It’s more interesting that way, and I want to see that variety grow!

[If any of y'all would like me to dig up better sources on any point, I can do so but I didn't want to bog this post down further. I have largely left the anti-arab stuff alone because it's not the biggest issue with Ravio's fanon presence, which is the focus here.]

#Zelda Meta #Linked Universe #Ravio #LU Wild #LU Hyrule #antisemitism in media #noble savage tropes #bad tropes #Unfortunate implications #LOZ meta #LU meta #Long post #like 1200 words #I'm having a week okay #brain damage #mental illness

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tyrantisterror · 10 months

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Still Buzzing About Beelzebub

I wanted to leave this at vague blogging but fuck, man, I can't leave it be. I have a special fondness for Beelzebub as a folkloric figure, and I can't help having very intense personal feelings about how he's adapted. So I'm going to blather about the Lord of the Flies for a moment, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Ok, so, extremely oversimplified spark notes version of Beelzebub's history as a demon concept: there was a god named Ba'al who was worshipped by a rival religion to the Israelites, with "Ba'al" meaning "lord." It's theorized the full name of the god was "Ba'al-zebul," which would roughly mean "Lord of the Heavenly Place." Like many other demons, Beelzebub began as a satirical take on a rival religion's god - in this case, Ba'al-zebul becomes Ba'al-zebub, which means "lord of flies." It's a pun, and, like, a grade school playground level taunt. "Haha, your god's not the god of heaven, he's the god of shit-eating bugs!" basically.

Ba'al-zebub eventually evolves through translation into Beelzebub, and by the point it does it's gone from a petty mockery of another god to a major figure of Biblical apocrypha. In fact, when it comes to figuring out the "real" name of The Devil, Beelzebub has probably the second best claim to it, being not only one of the first devils ever named, but also one of the first ones to be listed (by apocryphal sources) to being the leader of the fallen angels - his only real competition is Belial, who might beat him out in terms of seniority on these points, but with folklore this old it's kind of hard to say someone's a clear winner in this sort of thing.

While other devils would later gain more popularity for the position of The Devil (Lucifer and Satan being the frontrunners despite the former being a result of a translation error and the later being more akin to a title than a name proper - "Satan" isn't too far from "Prosecuting Attorney" in its original usage), Beelzebub has always remained pretty damn prominent, often being The Devil's close second in command or at least in his inner circle, such as in works like Paradise Lost and Marlowe's Faust.

Perhaps his biggest claim to demonic fame, especially in recent years, is his position as one of the Seven Princes of Hell, being one of the elite demons to not only rule Hell, but also represent one of the seven deadly sins. Beelzebub is generally placed as the ruler/representative of Gluttony, though occasionally he's repurposed as the demon of Envy instead.

Ok, cool, so why do I have my hackles up? Well, there's an internet cartoon that's set in Hell with a great deal of buzz about it in animated circles, and they've been dipping their toes into demonology now and then. And apparently this is their take on Beelzebub:

youtube

It's... it's a fucking fox. It's just a fucking fox. I mean, ok, it's got fairy wings and second set of arms and, like, a tail made of honey, but still... it's just a fucking fox.

Here's the thing about Beelzebub: the name "lord of the flies" is fucking unique as demons go. It's descriptive, it's different. Most stories that make Beelzebub distinct from The Devil take the opportunity to make his title very literal, because by doing so they make him distinct from his fellow devils - and as a result, Beelzebub tends to be really fucking memorable.

Like, here, look at some of his peers in the Infernal Dictionary;

They're all beautifully illustrated, but most (not all) of them are pretty much what you expect when you hear about a classical demon: hairy goat guys with some dragon features mixed in. But then you get the guys like Beelzebub:

And that hell-fly stand out. He still fits with his peers - the antenna evoke horns, he's got subtle reptilian features like scales and just a bit of a serpentine quality to his abdomen/tail, but in a sea of goat men, he stands out as the only big ass fucking bug guy.

Because that's his thing! He's the bug guy!

Now, this isn't a question of mythic accuracy, because that's a fucking laughable concept, because assuming there's one version of a myth that can be held above all others as "canon" is such a foolish notion in of itself, especially for a character who started as just a satirical nickname for another character and only evolved into his own entity later. Plus there's the fact that, historically, portraying Beelzebub as something other than a big buy monster has been done a lot of times. One early description of Beelzebub goes as follows:

"...a swollen face and chest, huge nostrils, horns, bat wings, duck feet, a lion's tail, and a covering of thick black hair."

Which might look something like this:

And you know, that's not unworkable. A lot of demons have similar depictions - hell, just look back at those Infernal Dictionary depictions. A guy like this wouldn't be out of place with them. But, like, he also wouldn't stand out. It's not that being a big bug is the "accurate" take on Beelzebub - it's that it's the interesting one.

Look at that video again. This is a setting that already has a metric fuckton of canine demons in it. That song and dance number is mostly filled with hellhounds. Why make Beelzebub yet another canine? What's the reason for it, other than laziness or, like, artistic cowardice? 'Cause, like, not to be judgmental of a subculture I'm not a part of, but there seem to be a prominent number of furry artists who, as creature designers, just cannot come up with good designs for non-canine creatures for the life of them. It just feels like a person who looked at the myths, wondered "how on earth can I turn that into an early 2000's deviant art OC covered in hot topic paraphernalia?" gave up after half an attempt and just drew a rail thin emo raver fox girl because that comes to them like swimming does to a duck.

But I think if "emo raver scene party girl circa 2003 Beelzebub" is your character design pitch, you can do that AND make the Lord of Flies look like a big fucking bug. Maybe even work in some body diversity into your series full of rail-thin Johnny the Homicidal Maniac knockoff fursonas. It's Beelzebub, dammit, she has a right to stand out a little!

...

Ok, all this said, one criticism I've heard leveled at the Lord of the Honey-Fox-Fairies here is that the representative of Gluttony should be fat, which a lot of people rightfully pushed back against as being fatphobic. Which, to be fair, it is. But it's also a misunderstanding of Gluttony as a sin, which this take on Beelzebub is ironically also guilty of.

Gluttony is not simply eating a lot of food. Gluttony is the waste of resources that others could use. A person who orders a shitload of food, takes one bite, and throws it all away so no one else can eat it is just as gluttonous as a person who eats every last morsel - perhaps even moreso, since even they don't get use out of the food in question. In recent years the Catholic church classified pollution as part of the sin of Gluttony - because by fouling rivers and bleeding farmland dry with fertilizers, you are wasting valuable resources the world needs. Gluttony is less about what you consume and more about what you keep others - specifically others in need - from having access to.

What's depicted in this song isn't gluttony, because no one in this song is starving. Nothing is being wasted, no one is kept hungry for the sake of the selfish. There's a scene where Beelzebub actually gives a person MORE food, which is... it's literally the opposite of what gluttony is! Gluttony does not feed the hungry - gluttony keeps them starving! That's why it's evil!

In many ways this song is more a depiction of the sin of Lust, which is similarly misunderstood. A lot of people reduce it to "wanting sex," but lust is specifically about pursuing pleasure so selfishly that you neglect your duties to yourself and others. Drinking to self-destructive excess is not gluttonous, it's lustful. Eating sugary candy that has no nutritional value and makes you less healthy is lustful. This whole display of gratuitous self indulgence that the song focuses on - and that fact that said self indulgence hurts the people choosing to partake of it - is the definition of lust.

It's all a very shallow and poorly thought out take on the seven deadly sins and Beelzebub himself, and that's pretty disappointing from a piece of media about Hell that's so strangely popular. But hey, at least Good Omens got the Lord of Flies right.

#Beelzebub #Demonology #The Seven Deadly Sins #Gluttony

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sasha-snek · 10 months

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#aphverse #mystreet #minecraft diaries #dreams of estorra #heart point

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holysaintscathedral · 1 year

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Books for the Hierophile

Similar to my fic recommendation list, the following is a list of books that might be of interest to any hierophile (Christian based hierophilia anyway). The majority of books here are erotica or romance (het, mlm, and wlw) and physical copies can be found at most major in-person and online book sellers, unless stated otherwise. The titles are listed in alphabetical order with a brief synopsis.

A Knight for the Runaway Nun (#2 in Convent Brides series) by Carol Townend - An evocative friends-to-lovers story set in Medieval France. From novice nun…To unexpected bride! Lady Bernadette is poised to take Holy Orders when Sir Hugo of Nérac, her father’s captain of the guards, arrives with news that her sister is expecting. Petrified of childbirth since her mother died, Bernadette races home. But now that she’s left the convent, her father wants her wed! There’s only one solution: marry Hugo, her childhood friend. But can she risk consummating their marriage and conceiving…even if his kisses are unbearably tempting?

Beautiful Sinner (stand-alone novel in Beautiful series) by Sara Cate - “Lord, help me…A beautiful, young American girl wound up stranded far from home on my doorstep. When she begged me to stay, I did what a good priest would do, and I said yes. But a good priest wouldn’t spend his days thinking about the fullness of her ruby red lips or feel the sting of envy with the way she draws men to her like flies to honey. A good priest would have stopped things before that first touch. And he certainly wouldn’t have given into temptation so easily, but when Cadence Thorn walked in, she brought me to my knees. A good priest takes his vows seriously.But I am not a good priest.” Only available in Kindle Edition.

Collared: The Story of a Sir and Her Priest by Melissa Cohen - "Collared: The Story of a Sir and Her Priest" is the true story of a real-life Master/slave relationship between Melissa, a dominant woman, and Joseph, a submissive man ... who happens to be a Roman Catholic Priest. It's the story of their forbidden love and the emotional depths they explore, all the while having to keep their relationship a complete secret. But as their love deepens and her ownership of him grows more real, Joseph is faced with the choice between honoring his commitment to God and leaving the priesthood for a chance at the freedom to love.

Dirty Priests and Preachers Gay Erotica Collection by T. J. Royalty - Men of the cloth – without the cloth! Priests exploring forbidden urges. Preachers committing unholy sin. These stories will have you on your knees and praying for mercy! Compilation and individual stories featured are only available in Kindle Edition.

Dancing Priest (#1 in Dancing Priest series) by Glynn Young - Michael Kent... A young man studying to become a priest finds love, and learns that faith can separate. A university cyclist seeking Olympic gold finds tragedy, death and heroism. A pastor thousands of miles from home seeks vocation and finds fatherhood. Sarah Hughes... A young woman living abroad finds love and loses family. A university student meets a faith she cannot accept. An artist finds faith and learns to paint with her soul. Dancing Priest is the story of Michael Kent and Sarah Hughes and a love, born, separated, and reborn, in faith and hope.

Everybody Calls my Father, Father: The Scandalous, Passionate Love Affair Between a Catholic Priest and a Broadway Actress by Tim “Dr. Hope” Andres - Everybody Calls my Father, Father is based on the true life love story of the author's parents. The character of a tenacious young woman, Bouvette Sherwood, who is a successful New York Broadway producer and actress, drives the plot. In the mid 1940s Bouvette meets and falls in love with a charming alcoholic, Hughie Hewitt. He has a secret though, which he keeps from her during their intense courtship-he is a Catholic priest! Their love story unfolds into a kaleidoscope of intrigue, suspense, betrayal, and romance.

La Faute de L'Abbé Mouret (The Sins of Father Mouret) by Émile Zola - Serge Mouret, is an obsessively devout priest, aspiring to perfect purity and sanctity. A serious illness leaves him with amnesia, and no longer knowing he is a priest, he falls in love with his nurse Albine. Together they roam an Eden-like garden called the "Paradou," seeking a forbidden tree, beneath whose boughs they make love. Anguish follows, as the abbe regains his memory and returns to the church. In this, the fifth novel in the Rougon-Macquart series, Zola concentrates on the conflict between church and nature; celibacy and sexuality. A film adaption called The Demise of Father Mouret, starring Francis Huster and Gillian Hills, was released in 1970.

In Love With a Priest by Damilola Babs - In Love With a Priest poses a question to us all; when God chooses to hold a man, does he ever let go? Find out in the story of Maya Alpha Lange. A story of love, hurt and God's true peace.

Keeping His Commandments by Elle Keating - Desire, lust, love…You’re not supposed to feel those things for a woman, and you’re definitely not allowed to act on them when you’re a Catholic priest. I had taken vows; vows that I’ve upheld for eight celibate years, and had made a promise to God that I swore I would never break. But then I met Eva, my stepmother’s estranged twenty-eight-year-old daughter, and she made me forget who I was. What I was.I prayed for guidance.I prayed for the strength not to give into temptation.My prayers went unanswered…or so I thought

Léon Morin, Prêtre (The Passionate Heart) by Béatrix Beck - In a small French town during the Occupation, Barny is a young, wayward, sexually frustrated widow, living with her little girl. She is also a communist militant who long ago decided that the easiest way was the best. One day she enters a church, randomly chooses a priest and starts criticizing the religion. But the priest is Leon Morin, who is young, handsome, clever and altruistic. He believes that any sin can be expunged by a good dose of faith, and does not offer her the reaction she was expecting. She is disturbed. She starts frequenting Morin, impressed by his moral strength, while he makes it his mission to steer her onto the right path. A film adaptation starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Emmanuelle Riva was released in 1961.

Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun by Gabriel de Guilleragues - The "Portuguese Letters" were published anonymously in 1669, alleged translations into French of letters written by a Portuguese nun to a French officer who had loved and left her. Recent scholarship suggests Guilleragues was their author. Reminiscent of the exchanges between Heloise and Abelard of an earlier time, the letters display a remarkable acuity of psychological insight into the mind of a woman in love and on the edge of hysteria.

Lesbian Nun Erotica: Forbidden Age Gap by Madeline Vey - A new student at an all girl's catholic school finds herself as the center of attention of her insatiable classmates. As the only... uncorrupted girl left on campus, she'll be forced to watch and tempted by the unspeakable acts committed by the other girls... until she's begging them to include her in their sin.

La Madre (The Woman and the Priest) by Grazia Deledda - The Woman and the Priest is the story of a struggle between a priest, his lover and his mother. It is an unusual book, both in its story and its setting in a remote Sardinian hill village, half civilized and superstitious.

Naughty Nuns and Passionate Priests: Three Erotic Shorts by Fallon Angel - Three stories of untouched nuns, guilty excitement, and willingly broken vows. This collection combines the Sin and Sacrilege trilogy into one volume.

Nun Better by Joanie Lindenmeyer with Carol Tierheimer - What happens when two women commit to serving the Catholic Church as nuns-Brides of Christ, taking vows of chastity-but fall passionately in love?They must defy the Church's rules against same-sex relationships and blaze a bold trail for a joyous, adventurous life together-at a time when LGBTQ people could be killed for being gay and same-sex marriage was decades in the future.Now Joanie Lindenmeyer and Carol Tierheimer are sharing their courageous and blissful, 40-year journey in NUN BETTER: An AMAZING Love Story. Their breathtaking love story showcases the magic and miracles of love, and two women's unshakable devotion to spreading joy and peace in the spirit of God.

Original Sinners: The Nun and the Priest by Alexis Honeywell - The moment that Serena and Luke met, they were both consumed by an overwhelming attraction. Of course it was forbidden - he was a priest, and she was a nun - but they couldn't help themselves. Suddenly their chaste, celibate lives felt like a prison, and they longed to be free, to lose themselves in passion together, even if the consequences altered their lives forever.

Pretty Parishioners (4 book series) by Willa Pope - Only available in Kindle Edition (1. Punished by the Priest, 2. Passed Around by the Priest, 3. Pleasuring the Priest and 4. Performing for the Priest). Each smutty stand-alone installment of this series chronicles the escapades between various women and a priest.

The Priest, His Lady and the Drowned Child by Mary Cavanagh - For twenty years, Father Ewan McEwan, a Roman Catholic priest, has enjoyed a passionate long-term relationship with Marina Proudfoot, an older woman of great beauty and refinement, whose two-year-old daughter and husband were tragically drowned in a boating accident. But when Marina unexpectedly dies, the emotional fallout affects not just Ewan, but Marina's son, Timothy, his lover, Roger, and Roger's wife, Sally. Now Ewan must survive not only his profound grief but also the secret revelations she leaves behind.

The Priest by Patsy George - From the time Joseph Grant is a young child he dreams of being a priest. He is an honest, hardworking and likable boy that rises above tragedy. He befriends the neighborhood parish priest, Father Marc, whom remains Joseph's father figure and mentor throughout his young challenging life. Joseph is the quintessential child grown out of pure unadulterated love. His young childhood and adolescence is filled with dreams of pastor ship and unconditional love for all mankind. Then he faces and surmounts the most heart wrenching experience a young man could possibly face. After rising above heartbreak he sets out to fulfill his childhood dream as a responsible young adult. Joseph's life takes an unexpected turn while at college. He meets a young lady named Emily, whom he has an instant attraction to. Their friendship turns to innocent love, and gives Joseph a tough decision to make. His ultimate decision, in his confusion, is to attend a seminary in which he has been accepted at. He forces himself to complete the journey he started, while never forgetting his Emily. While attempting to accomplish his lifelong dream, he endures some shocking surprises and discoveries. Some of his fellow seminarians are not of the same moral fiber as Joseph. These and other revelations help him make a decision to defy what he views as unfair and inaccurate manmade restrictions placed on priests. Joseph gains a following that not even the Pope can deny. He eventually rocks the very core of the Vatican by just being himself.

Priest by D. Greg Denton - Chase was a child of privilege. Max was not. Chase had lofty goals. Max had one, to survive high school. Chase took it upon himself to rescue Max. Max just wanted to be near Chase, but then they both graduated and went their separate ways. A few years later, they came together again, by chance. But they were separated when Chase chose a life of service to God and His people over the man he loved. Fate would bring them together one more time and it was up to Chase to do the right thing… by Max this time. Would their love survive all they’d already been through and what awaited them next? Available in Kindle Edition.

The Priest’s House: Pregnant to a Man Who Cannot Resist the Calling of God by Claire Marie - The coldest day in hell for Jo Burnside is the day her lover, Fr. Michael Toner, takes on responsibility for a remote parish instead of fleeing with her to Canada and a new life. Jo accompanies Michael to his new parish. She expects disapproval if not outright condemnation for seducing a 'holy' Catholic priest. What she finds is a parochial house reeking of betrayed innocence.The lovers are found naked in bed together, then a patient under Jo’s care in the local hospital, haemorrhages and dies. This threatens a black depression in Jo who has just discovered that she is pregnant. The priest, Michael, has his own problems, including crippling injuries. Michael would work himself to death without Jo's restraining influence. In the new parish, he discovers a resentful congregation, a young mother without any hope of redemption, and he finds himself pursued by a sex-obsessed failed nun. Then the bishop comes storming into their lives, threatening excommunication if Jo doesn’t renounce Michael forever.

Plum’s Priest Daddy (standalone novel in Clover City Little series) by Honey Meyer - Plum Brolingtide is the rockabilly fashionista who owns Caffeinatrix--Clover City’s premier cafe. The buxom barista’s favorite hobby? Flirting outrageously with the priest who frequents her establishment. Gideon Davies is the handsome and unflappable priest at All Saints church who has a weakness for almond croissants, flat whites, and disciplining mouthy young women. Plum and Gideon get to know each other in the biblical sense and beyond but a tragedy at Plum’s cafe forces their hand to put a label on their affair. Sure they have a great time together, but can Plum see Gideon as a prospect for Mr. Right instead of just Mr. Right Now? And will Gideon be swayed by the chorus of voices in his congregation calling his relationship with Plum improper and ungodly? Available in Kindle Edition.

Pet Priest (3 part BDSM MLM series) by Natasha Ryder - Only available in Kindle Editions (1. The Dreams, 2. Waking Life and 3. Beyond Dreams) Father Sean O'Leary has been struggling with a secret his whole life. A secret that could ruin his entire career, not to mention put his immortal soul in grave danger. He has a male lover who comes to him in his dreams, and not only that, but that lover is an agent of evil, a demon named Adriel. No one has never made Sean feel like Adriel does, sinful, forbidden, perfect acts of pure lust that could ruin him forever. Every time Adriel touches him, Sean feels like he loses more of himself to the demon, and that's not a good thing because Adriel doesn't seem entirely happy to simply remain in his dreams. Can love truly conquer all, even between a priest and a demon?

Sister Matthew and Sister Rose: Novices in Love by Carol Anne Douglas - Maureen Collins, recently named Sister Matthew in the novitiate at St. Euphrosnye’s convent in Western Maryland in 1962, doubts the existence of God. She entered the convent for several reasons: she thinks being surrounded by believers might help her believe; she knows she’s attracted to women and wants to avoid pressure to date men and marry; and she feels guilty about something that happened when she was in high school. She quickly falls in love with Rose Clancy, now Sister Rose, another novice who also is attracted to women. Rose is more religious, but she reciprocates Sister Matthew’s feelings. She grew up with an alcoholic mother and found a refuge among the nuns who taught her. As the two move through postulancy and the novitiate, they encounter many challenges from the strict rules to memories of their respective pasts. The memory of an old murder intrudes in the present.

Sins of the Sister I: Genesis, a Romance Novel by Elle Doan - In the summer of 1917, Angelique and her older sister, Charlotte, are two lovely but sheltered Creole sisters from the countryside who are entering the convent in New Orleans. The sisters are best friends but Angelique has always lived in Charlotte's shadow because of Charlotte's great beauty and tremendous academic ability. On their way to New Orleans, they encounter a dashing yet mysterious priest, Father Pascal, and Angelique is immediately enamored with him. Living in the harsh and divided city of New Orleans finally forces the two sisters deal with discrimination, class differences, and even romance. Angelique, who has never desired marriage or even sex, must confront her growing feelings towards Father Pascal, who is also haunted by his torturous past. Her rivalry with her sister and other wealthier nuns threaten Angelique's relationship with Charlotte. The Reverend Mother takes an immediate dislike to the free-spirited and free-thinking Angelique, and wants to expel her from the nunnery. Will Angelique remain in the convent? Can she repair her relationship with Charlotte? Can she resolve her feelings towards the brooding and aloof Father Pascal? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

The Sacred Sins of Father Black: A MM Forbidden Priest Romance by St. John Starling - Father Sebastian Black might be a saint, or he might be the Devil himself. Either way there is nothing simple or innocent about this small town Catholic priest. When the FBI sets their sights on the town of Hopewell, they cannot know what they will uncover. With a spate of forged rare wines flooding the auction houses of the world, even communities as charming and innocuous as Father Black’s church are subject to scrutiny. It's only when Father Black meets the man they've sent that the walls he has built around himself begin to come tumbling down and all of his secrets are laid bare one by one. Quentin Day is brilliant, charismatic, and, above all, dedicated to the truth — everything an FBI agent should be. In practice, all this does is force him to stand alone in a corrupt system. Ordered to a remote town in pursuit of forgers, he finds himself irresistibly falling for the local priest. This is a tragedy for him. After all, priests are off-limits, aren’t they? Or is Father Black more than meets the eye? Available in Kindle Edition and on Payhip.

Saints and Sinners (10 part series) by Amie Barnes - Are we saints or are we sinners? These priests are both as they lead their flock but become tempted by one in their parish. An anthology series depicting various priests and their fall from grace. Only available in Kindle Edition (1. My First Confession, 2. My Biggest Temptation, 3. The Sweetest Sin, 4. In the Father’s House, 5. The Father’s Discipline, 6. The Father’s Protection, 7. The Father’s Obsession, 8. The Father’s Troublemaker, 9. The Father’s Downfall, and 10. The Father’s Siren).

Sacrilege: A Forbidden Dark Romance Anthology - Corruption. Sin. Greed. Temptation. Nothing is sacred. Not the priest who looks at you with hunger etched into his rugged face. Not the nun who hides her secrets in the scars on her arms. Definitely not the theology professor who keeps his student long after class is over. A different kind of worship. A wicked type of praise. A devil's paradise and an angel's ruin. Get on your knees, but don't bother calling out to Him. No one can save you from sin.

Sweetest Sins: A Lesbian Romance Novella by Aurora Lemaire - Lonely, free-spirited Lily dreams of becoming a nun. She's been a good Catholic girl all her life but that changes the day she catches her idol, mysterious nun, Jane, reading a steamy lesbian romance. Now Lily is questioning everything she once knew. What else is the brooding Jane hiding? Can Lily risk discovering her secrets when the Mother Superior is already determined to send her packing? Or will the desire building between them destroy everything they've both worked for? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Slutty for Sin by DeeDee Cupps - Sister Anne always wanted to be a nun. When Sister Catherine joined the convent, that lifelong dream was replaced with hot, wet desire. How long can they withstand their growing lust? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Taking the Priest by Lola Bowie - When the sweet new choir teacher, Elodie, confesses her desires to gently peg and dominate the man of her dreams, Ben, her priest, has little idea that it is him she desires. Her fantasy awakens a deep longing inside of him. Is he brave enough to go on a journey of erotic pleasure and self-discovery? Could the young submissive priest have found another altar to worship before? A steamy short story containing gentle femdom, only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Trained by the Priest by Betty Black - I waited until marriage. But now I need to know what to do on my wedding night. And who better to teach me than my priest? In order to please my husband, I'm going to turn to the one man I trust above all else: the priest I've known my whole life. He'll teach me all the moves I need to make sure I'm a good little wife, willing and eager to please! Only available in Kindle Edition.

The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough - The Thorn Birds is a chronicle of three generations of Clearys—an indomitable clan of ranchers carving lives from a beautiful, hard land while contending with the bitterness, frailty, and secrets that penetrate their family. It is a poignant love story, a powerful epic of struggle and sacrifice, a celebration of individuality and spirit. Most of all, it is the story of the Clearys' only daughter, Meggie, and the haunted priest, Father Ralph de Bricassart—and the intense joining of two hearts and souls over a lifetime, a relationship that dangerously oversteps sacred boundaries of ethics and dogma. A television mini series adapted from the novel starring Richard Chamberlain and Rachel Ward aired in 1983.

To Love a Priest by Victor S. E. MouBarack - When Father Ignatius’ past catches up with him there is no way to escape the consequences for him and those around him. He must face facts regardless of how seriously they could affect his vocation as a priest. “TO LOVE A PRIEST” is the most controversial book in the Father Ignatius series and deals with questions on many peoples’ mind as yet unresolved by the Church. A gripping story of conflict between conscience and dogma, treating a delicate subject with compassion and forgiveness.

TamIng Rebellion by Hanna T. Corner - Kayla is abrasive and rebellious, getting herself kicked out of college for starting fights and buying bikes, so she's sent to a nunnery in order to correct her behavior. But she wasn't expecting nun Marlee, who has a voracious and suppressed sexual appetite sets out to spank disobedient Kayla into submission. Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Trilogy of the Poor Horny Nuns by C. P. Waterman - A collection of stories comprising A Poor Nun's Endowment, The Poor Nuns in Revolt, and Return to the Poor Nuns, previously published during 2013-2014. Set in England, 1348: Mary is a country girl with a tomboy streak. When she reaches adulthood and finds herself excluded from the company of the boys with whom she grew up, she rebels and her father consigns her to a convent. On the journey there, she is approached by an old crone and granted one wish; on an impulse, she makes a strange choice: she wants a penis, so she can be accepted in the young men's group. But fate consigns her to the priory, where Mary unwittingly falls under the spell of the evil Sister Benedicta, mistress of the novices; when Benedicta discovers Mary's anatomical transformation, she makes her her own private sex-pet and Mary finds herself installed as a hermitess, confined to a private cell... where only Benedicta can come and use her to fulfil her own sexual desires any time she wishes. The local priest is interested, too. Is there no escape? A chance visit by a face from her lost past - and the simultaneous arrival of the Great Pestilence (The Black Death) - offer her the opportunity she needs to get away. Will she grasp the moment with both hands? And what then, when the known world is turned upside down? Two more fantasies follow; on both occasions, Mary cannot resist returning to her friends to enjoy more intimacy at the convent. And, with her peculiar attribute, the nuns cannot resist her. And nor can the priests.... This (poorly titled) compilation edition is only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Unholy Desires by D. Williams - “As a spiritual leader of the community, I have been looked at for many things. Advice, guidance and sometimes just friendship. You meet a lot of different people in all stages of life while working for the Church but never have I met someone like her. The almost instant desire she stirs in me that I can not shake is unnerving. She tests my restraints, and I find myself forgetting my vows but, even worse, wanting to forsake them. It’s been said many times God only gives the hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, but this is one war I’m afraid I will lose. A Priest is only a man that can resist his unholy desires.”

The Village Priest (#3 in A St. Francis Hill Mystery series) by Tina Proffitt - Father Christian Hyman, a village priest in St. Francis Hill, South Carolina, loves Misty Sumner with all his heart, yet his dedication to his calling means that he cannot ever have her. Christian must discover what has happened to his dear friend, why she's afraid to leave her house and won't even look out the window that overlooks the steep valley beyond. Misty's life is unrecognizable to her since moving out of her house and into a cottage that sits at the edge of town overlooking the valley. When she learns of a nun's death, thrown from the high abbey wall into the very woods surrounding her home, many years ago, she must put her detective skills to work to assist the spirit that haunts her. Silas Baecere was a nineteenth-century village priest in St. Francis who loved Ada Gardiner very much, yet could not have her either. Memories of his life with Ada haunt him day and night. Her familiar scent lingers whenever he is alone in the house they once shared. Silas must come to grips with the kind of man he wants to be or lose Ada forever. Ada Gardiner, a nun whose loyalty to Father Silas knows no bounds, finds herself inextricably in love with him, which means disastrous consequences for them both. Her work as a scribe has taught her many things about magical, healing herbs, and the people of her village rely upon her for her medicinal wisdom. It also makes some fear her and want to hurt her. Ada must face her worst fear, being separated from her love.

Vows We Break by Serena Akeroyd - Vows. Savio lives by them. Dreams. I exist in them. Obsessed with a picture, I'm in Rome to get over writer’s block, but more importantly, I've come to the Eternal City to find someone. Savio is a broken soul. A French-Italian priest in the capital of the Catholic world, he preaches religious tenets he no longer believes in. He’s also the man I'm looking for. A priest who makes sinners pay. Who makes them burn for the temptations into which they fall. I exist to tempt him, my sole purpose is to save him, and my end goal is Savio—in my bed. My heart. My life. He's a fallen soul, desperately in need of a future that takes him away from the sinners who deserve to lose their lives for the evil they reap. Can I make him break his vows, make him fall to save both our souls before the Devil can embrace us both?

The Wayward Priest by William N. McKelvy - Falling overboard, almost drowned, an attractive girl goes under a personality change. Her memory gone, only her survival instinct left, she is taken to a priest's African missionary. Lilly wakes up night after night in her bed exhausted, blood on her mouth and gown. She begs the Father to lock her up at night. The two of them fall in love. She crashes in a plane, he thinks she is dead. He goes to Ireland, leaves the priesthood, falls in love, then, then tragedy strikes. He returns to Africa dreaming of Lilly until one day ...

#Please bear in mine that I haven’t had the chance to read EVERY book on this list #Some I’ve included based in the synopsis and reviews #hierophilia #priest kink #religion kink #book recommendations #long post #smut writing #very long post #straight romance #mlm #wlw #blasphemy #blasphemy kink #i wonder if holy anon will read any of these 👀#romance

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gatalentan · 1 year

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PHONECALLS | AO3

Summary: Young Melissa/Barbara, wine, unexpected phonecalls, and getting closer by the inch.

Hearing Barbara's voice in her ear while four drinks in was a little too much right now, she had to admit. Overstimulation, or something. She'd crawled onto her bed somewhere around minute ten, the low rumble of her voice like a soft hand stroking her cheek. She was more than tipsy before the phone rang, and had sunk another since then, her limbs loose and warm. Drifting in space.

---------------------

Melissa was a substitute, had to be all things to all men. A swiss army knife. Adaptable. Resourceful. Good at a little of everything, but feet never planted long enough to build relationships or make a difference. Just long enough to prevent the classroom turning into Lord of the Flies 2: Fly Harder. She hated it. It wasn't why she'd become a teacher. But she had bills to pay, and it was the only gig she could get, two years outta college.

It was still teaching. And she was still good at it.

But she wanted to be great at it.

She first got asked to sub for Barbara Howard about a year ago, when Mel was still really green. She didn't really know her, only to nod-to in the lounge. Sometimes chatted if the room was quiet. She was hard to get to know. Didn't really open up past the surface layer of small talk. Real tense, very dignified, by the book. Extremely handsome though, in the way older, confident women are. Shiny. Nice to look at over morning coffee.

But subbing for her class turned her guts to pastina. Those kids adored her. They drew pictures of her, for her, even though she wasn't there. "Mrs. Howard says this, Mrs Howard says that, is she coming back, when will we see her..." Mel couldn't remember ever missing a teacher. What kind of woman was Barbara? The fact the pin-straight room was absolutely littered with pieces of these kids told such a story of mutual love. Even if it meant the windowsill was covered in the ugliest clay… somethings known to man. They'd made them for her.

She was so fucking jealous.

She wanted it to be like that.

Ached for it, even.

It made her wanna get to know her, learn from her. To get to be just like her. She brought her food, after that, as an excuse to sit beside her, the way she always did when she wanted to make herself indisposable. Let me in. They always let her in. Nobody could turn her down once they took a bite.

So it was a crush, yeah. Big deal. She had eyes. The woman's face looked like she was made by Michaelangelo, all soft and hand made by something otherworldly, made you wanna touch her to see if she was warm or just made of clay. And she was warm. And pretty, and kind, but it didn't have to be a whole thing.

Except y'know, it definitely was a whole thing. 'Cause after weeks of careful aim and persistence she'd finally learned just how to crack a real, genuine laugh out of her without fail, and whenever that happened, Melissa was always a total goner. She loved making people laugh, especially the uptight ones. It's the knowing that they'll carry that bit of her with them for the rest of the day. Made herself into a sunny spot they wanna come back to.

And it became their whole thing, over days and weeks and months, food and laughter and chairs that got a little bit closer each morning. Direct, focused attention that Melissa could just drown in. Barb seemed to grow excuses to touch her - by accident? on purpose? - punctuation while telling a story, a balm on a shitty day, a playful warning after a dirty joke. And Melissa read meaning into it that wasn't there, but mattered to her.

She'd made herself a fixture in Barbara's day to the point where she'd see her smile when she rounded the lounge doorway to find Mel already sitting there, and it made her wanna melt through the floor.

She'd gotten in through the garden gate, and she now wanted to be around her every chance she got.

It was a whole… problem.

She wanted to be her friend, but she also wanted to crowd her into the janitor's closet and kiss the smile off her stupid face.

But she couldn't.

But she could think about it.

Thinking is free.

So hearing Barbara's voice in her ear while four drinks in was a little too much right now, she had to admit. Overstimulation, or something. She'd crawled onto her bed somewhere around minute ten, the low rumble of her voice like a soft hand stroking her cheek. She was more than tipsy before the phone rang, and had sunk another since then, her limbs loose and warm. Drifting in space.

"Did you get all that?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Actually she hadn't heard a damn thing, had been too distracted by other thoughts, of that same voice in other, sweatier circumstances, with a pair of plum red lips attached, telling her other, filthier, things, in the shell of her ear, in the column of her neck. Stupid thoughts, but pretty ones, hanging in the air. So easy to let them drift there.

She took a swig of her wine to recenter herself.

"Hmm." Barbara didn't sound convinced, could almost hear the hand on her hips. Made Mel squirm a little, in the way disapproval always did. Pulled her out of her haze, wanting to be seen all of a sudden.

"I've got you, Barb. I know the drill. I've subbed your class how many times? You gotta trust me by now."

Silence yawned open between them down the line. Clocks ticking, cars rolling by. Trust was a loaded word to insert into this small conversation about lesson plans.

"I do. Trust you, that is." The creak of a floorboard. Melissa could picture her, barefoot in the living room, pacing around as she spoke. Cute. "I don't know if I ever told you, but the children always rave about you when I come back. 'Miss Schemmenti always does the voice this way! No, not like that, like this!' It's enough to give me a complex."

Oh. Melissa felt like she might shatter. Could feel the tears surging up, the cold tingle in her fingers and toes, heart stopped. The kids did see her. And by extension Barbara saw her. Barbara was jealous of her.

Even this drunk, with her barriers on the floor, she knew this was an insecurity made flesh that was too tender to reveal on what was meant to be an easy-going work phone call. She sniffed, rubbed her face, reworked it into something else. Toes still tingling.

"Oh yeah?" Her voice was shakier, more tense than she'd like, even with all the false bravado she tried to pack into it. "If I'm so good, does that mean you'll owe me a favour?"

Flirting was safe. It's just a game.

She was on her belly now, toying with the edges of her pillowcase, and the throaty chuckle on the end of the line lit her up like the Main Street Electrical Parade.

"What kind of favour?"

Oh, she could think of a few. None of them PG. All of them ending in Barbara's hand twisted up in her hair.

"Come over for dinner on Monday," burst out in a rush, up in the air before she could catch it, greased up by the wine. "If you're not busy," she followed, hoping she didn't sound too desperate. Friends eat dinner. She cooks for her all the time just not at… her house. It's totally fine. It's fine.

"Oh." Almost a gasp, and a long pause on the end of the line that nearly made Melissa's throat close up. "I'd love that."

It could have been a lot of things - her brain, the drink, the way she felt simultaneously sleepy and keyed up - but she could have sworn there was something in her tone, there. Something else. She wanted to tear it open and sift through the pieces. Fixated her nervous hands on the pillowcase instead.

"Seven?"

"Works for me. Do you want me to bring anything?"

Just you. "Wine?" She yawned, flicking through her mental recipe book so she could give her some direction. Braciole? Ribollita? "A chianti or something would be great."

"Perfect." A beat. "You sound tired, are you alright?"

Yes. No. "Sorry. It's the chardonnay."

"Tsk. I thought you sounded drunk."

"It's 9.30 on a Saturday night, Barb. I didn't know you were gonna call and expect to talk to me about IEPs"

"Hey, hey, no judgement from me. There's brandy with my name on it by the sink."

"Ooh, my kind of woman."

"So you keep saying."

"You know me, I can't help myself.”

"So I've heard."

They both cackled then, throaty and light. Easy, familiar.

"I'll let you go so you can pass out in front of Walker, Texas Ranger."

"Shut up!"

"Don't forget, top drawer of my desk."

"Yeah. I got you. G'night Barb. "

"I know. Goodnight. Take care. Sweet dreams."

Click.

Yeah. They will be.

She put down the phone and pulled up her dress.

#melissa schemmenti #barbara howard #work wives #god this is like. only the second ever fic i've ever written don't look at me IS THIS EVEN ANYTHING. help.#✍#gifalentan

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gnougnouss · 8 months

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Ya know I feel like there's a shit ton of hyprocrisy going on when people compare RTD's writing and Moffat's on dw but nothing irks me more than when they say Moffat era made the doctor too important when he was portrayed as just a guy in RTD. Like. Are you fucking kidding me. Be for real.

In the GODDAMN first episode, one of the first thing we learn about the doctor is through Clive (rip) in that scene :

The Doctor is a legend woven throughout history. When disaster comes, he's there. He brings the storm in his wake and he has one constant companion. ROSE: Who's that? CLIVE: Death.

So yeah the Doctor is a Legend. Next, in New Earth he is called "the lonely God". Very normal guy core.

It gets worse, who could forget this wonderful speech in The Family of Blood ?

LATIMER: Because it was waiting. And because I was so scared of the Doctor. JOAN: Why? LATIMER: Because I've seen him. He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun. DOCTOR: Stop it. LATIMER: He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe. DOCTOR: Stop it! I said stop it. LATIMER: And he's wonderful.

The Next one is by Steven Moffat but crucially still during 10s era so STILL part of how the doctor was characterised. RTD approved you might say.

DOCTOR: Don't play games with me. You just killed someone I liked. That is not a safe place to stand. I'm the Doctor, and you're in the biggest library in the universe. Look me up. (There is a pause, then the shadows withdraw.) ANITA: You have one day.

I added it because I saw people act as if the Eleventh Hour's resolution with a doctor boast was completly out of character and not something he literaly did one series before.

Ok now for the real silly, that scene in Last of the Time Lords where the power of PRAYER turned 10 young and hyper powerful. For real. Yeah like a sort of Space Jesus.

Bonus: that part in Voyage of the Damned when he flied with two angels lifting him like ok lmao.

Those were just the ones I could remember out of the top of my head but "just a guy" my entire fucking ass. Go rewatch that show.

I feel like Moffat is often accused of turning the doctor into too much of an incredibly powerful figure not because he did it more than RTD but because he discussed the trope and as such put a lot of attention on it . All of those I pointed out in RTD are played incredibly straight but in Moffat's era the doctor's legend is a problem. It's the plot of the s5 finale, he became so big his ennemies allied. It's the reason he gets called out in "A good man goes to war"

RIVER: This was exactly you. All this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name. Doctor. The word for healer and wise man throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means mighty warrior. How far you've come. And now they've taken a child, the child of your best friends, and they're going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you.

It continues in Asylum of the Daleks where Moffat tries to erase the doctor's legend and is concluded somewhat in s8 finale with the proposition that what the doctor actually is, is in fact an idiot.

DOCTOR: I really didn't know. I wasn't sure. You lose sight sometimes. Thank you! I am not a good man! I am not a bad man. I am not a hero. And I'm definitely not a president. And no, I'm not an officer. Do you know what I am? I am an idiot, with a box and a screwdriver. Just passing through, helping out, learning. I don't need an army. I never have, because I've got them. Always them. Because love, it's not an emotion. Love is a promise.

But nobody saying stuff like "Moffat made the doctor too important" ever watched Capaldi's era anyway so it's not like they would know.

#doctor who #RTD #Moffat #bit salty here

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hawkeyeslaughter · 27 days

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a comprehensive list of songs and lyrics that remind me of hawkeye pierce ( either about him / his perspective ) ( will be updated )

angst / sad

— johnny cash , hurt — “ what have i become / my sweetest friend / everyone i know / goes away in the end “

— jason isbell , white elephant — “ there’s one thing that’s real clear to me / no one dies with dignity / we just try to ignore the elephants of now “

— todd snider , too soon to tell — “ and dear lord if you’re up there / you sure got some nerve / seems like even the wicked / they get worse than they deserve “

— warren zevon , hasten down the wind — “ she’s so many women / he can’t find the one who was his friend / so he’s hangin’ on to half her heart / he can’t have the restless part / so he tells her to hasten down the wind “

— boy genius , afraid of heights — “ when the black water ate you up / like a sugar cube in a teacup / i got the point you were making / when i held my breath ‘ till you came up “

— surf curse , freaks — “ i am just a freak / my head is filled with parasites / i dream of you almost every night / hopefully i won’t wake up this time “

— dandelion hands , i could have sworn you were dead — “ i could have sworn you were dead / but i saw you in a dream last night / there were flowers growing out of your head / and it made me smile “

— todd snider , carla — “ leaving me was one thing carla / why’d you have to leave so slow / i didn’t mind you walking away / what hurt was how you walked so slow “

— willie nelson , angel flying too close to the ground — “ and i patched up your broken wing / and hung around awhile / trying to keep your spirits up / and your fever down “

fun

— bruce springsteen , born to run — “ together wendy we can live with the sadness / i’ll love you with all of the madness in my soul “

— todd snider , ballad of the devil’s backbone tavern — “ life’s too short to hurry / life’s too long to wait / too short not to love everybody / life’s too long to hate “

— hozier , someone new — “ i fall in love just a little oh , little bit / every day with someone new “

— mgmt , me and michael — “ in every scene , it’s me and michael / imaginary bombs raining down from the clouds / so it seems / the danger will never let the feelings die “

— billy joel , only the good die young — “ we might be laughing a bit too loud / oh , but that never hurt no one “

— alanis morissette , hand in my pocket — “ i’m sad , but i’m laughing / i’m brave , but i’m chicken shit / i’m sick , but i’m pretty , baby “

— aha , take on me — “ take on me ( take on me ) / take me on ( take on me ) / i’ll be gone / in a day or two “

— crosby , stills , & nash , love the one you’re with — “ well there’s a rose / in the fisted glove / and eagle flies / with the dove / and if you can’t be / with the one you love / honey , love the one you’re with “

love songs

— r.e.m , at my most beautiful — “ i found a way to make you / i found a way / a way to make you smile “

— john prine , iris dement , in spite of ourselves — “ in spite of ourselves / we’ll end up sitting on a rainbow / against all odds / honey , we’re the front door prize “

— arctic monkeys , baby i’m yours — “ baby i’m yours ( baby i’m yours ) / and i’ll be yours / until two and two is three “

—the cults , always forever — “ you and me / always forever “

— coldplay , sparks — “ and i know i was wrong / but i won’t let you down / oh , yeah , yeah , yeah i will / yes i will “

old songs

— etta james , one for my baby — “ i could tell you a lot / but i know you got to remain / true to your code / just make it one for my baby / and one more for the road “

— elvis presley , love me — “ treat me like a fool / treat me mean and cruel / but love me “

— frank sinatra , i get a kick out of you — “ some , they go for cocaine / i’m sure that if i took even one sniff / that would bore me terrifically , too / but i get a kick out of you “

— dooley wilson , as time goes by — “ you must remember this / a kiss is just a kiss / a sigh is just a sigh / the fundamental things apply / as time goes by “

— frank sinatra , in the wee small hours of the morning — “ when your lonely heart has learned its lesson / you’d be her’s , if only she would call / in the wee small hours in the morning / that’s the time you miss her most of all “

i have no explanation for these i honestly can just imagine him liking them . or singing them . obnoxiously .

— the gourds , fossil contender — “ well , how would you feel / if i dug up your head ? / well i wouldn’t want to be answerin’ any of your / loaded questions , no “

— counting crows , mr . jones and me — “ mr . jones wishes he was someone just a little more funky / when everybody loves you / oh son , that’s just about as funky as you can be “

— don mclean , vincent — “ and when no hope was left inside on that starry , starry night / you took your life , as lovers often do / but i could have told you , vincent / that this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you “

— warren zevon , werewolves of london — “ you hear them howlin’ around your kitchen door / better not let ‘em in / little old lady got mutilated late last night / werewolves of london again “

— queen , bohemian rhapsody — “ mama , ooh / i don’t wanna die / sometimes wish i’d never been born at all “ ( i’m sorry but you guys know he’d fucking love this song . idk what to tell you . )

— weezer , buddy holly — “ whoo - wee i look just like buddy holly / oh , oh and you’re mary tyler moore “ ( sorry . again . but we know it’s true )

unfortunately i am under the opinion that hawkeye would know all of the pitch perfect songs . there is nothing you can do to sway me from this opinion .

#ignore that there’s a disproportionate amount of folk songs on here #everything remind me of him . actually #this isn’t even close to being a complete list . lnfoab #mash #m*a*s*h #mashposting #mash 4077 #mashblr #hawkeye pierce #hawkeye

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bbcmerlin-reversebang · 1 year

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BBC Merlin Reverse Bang Masterlist

Thank you to all the fantastic podficcers, artists, and writers who participated in this first round! The fest was a huge success thanks to each of you. Without further ado, here is the masterlist for the 2022-2023 BBC Merlin Reverse Bang!

Sons of our Fathers

Artist: The_Pen_and_the_Sword

Writer: s0mmerspr0ssen

Summary: When King Uther gets word of a dragon sighting, he sees a chance to finally get his hands on Balinor’s son, the last dragonlord. Prince Arthur is determined to prove himself and makes it his personal mission to slay the beast and capture its master. But amongst rising tensions with Mercia, Camelot’s hunting party is attacked and Arthur ends up alone in the forest, severely injured. He stumbles upon Merlin, who has been on the run with Aithusa ever since his father’s death. Merlin, oblivious that the injured stranger is the Prince of Camelot, ends up helping him – a fateful decision…

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45594802/chapters/114729199

***

Watching You Like I’m in Love

Artist: General_Jellyfish

Writer: remaymber

Summary: Arthur had been watching Merlin ever since he had first met him. He was watching Merlin just like he watched the entirety of his kingdom to protect and defend. But as fate intertwined their lives closer and closer, Arthur started feeling like watching might just not be enough.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45462886

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/the--short--one/711662624050413568/merlin-reverse-big-bang

***

Getting to hope you like me

Artist: Papysanzo89

Writer: Sage_Owl

Summary: Merlin and Arthur meet for the first time at one of Morgana's lavish Christmas parites, and the attraction between them is instant.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45248359

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/papysanzo/711782259539197952/after-months-i-can-finally-post-these

***

Setting Free

Podficcer: pezzax

Writer: TyalanganD

Summary: Life is relatively easy, if monotonous, for Merlin: he lives with his parents in Outer Hebrides, he works at the local supermarket, and sometimes he uses his magic for mundane little things. But all of that changes when one day, he learns terrible news: his father is dead.

Distraught, Merlin sneaks out in the middle of the night and cries out into the sky. And then, the cry gets louder, and becomes something else…

...and then, a huge golden dragon appears on the sky.

FIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45789913

PODFIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45790453

***

Clockwork Spells

Artist: MaxMagician

Writer: mirjoyX

Summary: Lord Merlin Browning lives life as a mechanic in the dazzling city of Camelot, until one day an unknown ability throws him into a world of magic and fables.

FIC & ART :https://archiveofourown.org/works/45811813

***

tangled up in your bedsheets (and in your arms)

Artist: feuxx

Writer: Imagined

Summary: Merlin parts the orange in two when he’s finished peeling. The juice streams over his wrist and upper arm, and he licks it off absentmindedly before he hands over one half to Arthur. Arthur hesitates for a moment, something strange flickering over his expression before he takes his part.

“They’re best shared,” Merlin tells him, and puts a slice to his lips.

Or: When PhD student Merlin Wyllt flies to a tiny, faraway Italian town for a summer job with Professor Ygraine du Bois, he finds himself unexpectedly at odds with her son, Arthur

But not only oranges blossom in summer, and Merlin finds that he and Arthur have a lot to learn from—and about—one another.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45685282

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/feuxx/712149710794850305/tangled-up-in-your-bedsheets-and-in-your-arms-by

***

The Golden Cage

Artist: LFB72

Writer: MyKingdomComeUndone

Summary: When Arthur secretly follows Merlin into the woods to discover what his manservant is up to, the last thing he expects is to be confronted by an actual, real-life dragon. A baby dragon, granted, but still, Arthur is determined to save Merlin from his own recklessness by capturing the monster...

Arthur's actions set the two of them on a path full of secrets and truths that might make or break their relationship, and Camelot along with it.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45352543/chapters/114103633

ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45499744

***

Fake Happy

Artist: tigereyes45

Writer: Joanna1995

Summary: Calm settles over Camelot after the battle of Camlann. Everyone should have been happy, yet Merlin isn't. Even though Arthur survived, the thought of what might have happened, and what could still happen in the future have him stressed out. He has taken to hiding his feelings from Gwaine, his soulmate, which hasn't made him feel any better. He hopes that soon, everything can be revealed, and things will finally calm down.

FIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45916054/chapters/115569103

VIDEO: https://youtu.be/oSf6FSs55hM

***

kiss with a sword

Artist: Aro_Tarot

Writer: princessoftheworlds

Summary: Queen Morgana rules Mount Olympus with an iron fist, and when she proposes a match between god of spring Emrys and her estranged brother — the god of death Arthur —there can be no refusing.

But in the Underworld, Emrys, who prefers to be called Merlin, discovers that his marriage comes with a catch: his new husband resents his sister and her realm, and has no time for Merlin. Quickly, their mutual apathy turns to mutual loathing. Arthur grapples with his new marriage and holding onto his resentments while Merlin seemingly finds himself with only one option — to overthrow Arthur and install himself as the ruler of the Underworld.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45795277/chapters/115246360

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/aro-tarot/712520374958571520/kiss-with-a-sword

***

If I Gave All My Heart

Artist: griffonskies

Writer: paceprompting

Summary: Years before a young boy with destiny on his shoulders walked into Camelot, there was simply…Arthur, Crown Prince of Camelot: a young man vying for his father’s approval and desperate to prove his worth. A desperation that earns him a curse, even if it saved his life. Now his heart lies outside his chest, kept safe for the time within the metal of his mother’s sigil…

But it cannot hold his heart forever.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45998167/chapters/115784440

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/griffonskies/712768827250917376/bbc-merlin-reverse-bang-20222023-look-look-i

***

and the history books forgot about us

Podficcer: Jockles

Writer: catasterisms

Summary: He lets Arthur's body fall, his tears streaming hot down his face. They're right here. The lake is right in front of them, and yet the dragon said there's nothing he could do. They were so close.

Anger rises in him like a wave, swift and strong. Because isn't there something? Hadn't he traded a life for Arthur's once before? Nimueh's face flashes through his mind, the visage blurred by time. He hears her voice again, proclaiming that she would guide Arthur to his destiny, even though Merlin was standing before her. He recalls Gaius's words about the visions he saw in the crystal cave, and how there are many futures, not just one. If there are many, then why can't he have this?

In which Merlin saves Arthur, but there's no quick fix after revealing the secret he's kept for ten years, and no destiny to guide him any more.

FIC & PODFIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46027120

***

I am who I am and I am who I was and I am who I will always be

Artist: viraha

Writer: Pearl09

Summary: When Uther rests on his death bed, Arthur desperately turns to magic in a last effort to save him. Merlin, disguised as Dragoon, offers his services, and manages to catch Morgana's attempt at stopping Uther's return. Arthur then asks Dragoon of one more favor: to help him find the traitor he believes lives within the castle. Now Merlin must juggle more responsibilities and his two identities in the hopes of catching Agravaine in the act before his lies all begin to fall apart.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46063090/chapters/115952626

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/virahaus/713055952357720064/i-am-who-i-am-and-i-am-who-i-was-and-i-am-who-i

***

Confirmations

Artist: jupiter-flytrap

Writer: DollopheadedMerlin

Summary: Merlin feels overburdened and under the weather, but he doesn't want to add stress to Arthur's efforts in revitalizing his kingdom after recovering the throne from Morgana, so he tries not to take it personally when Arthur gives him a hard time. But when reports tell of a dragon within Camelot's borders and Merlin gets dragged along on a mission against his nature, the king only seems to double down on his mistreatment of his servant, making protecting the royal clotpole a lot more difficult as he fights off an untreated fever.

"Any time he felt as though he was getting somewhere with his destiny something would come around and ruin it. And more often than not, that something was Arthur."

AU where Arthur knows that Merlin used magic to help him recover his kingdom from Morgana in The Sword in the Stone. Only, Merlin doesn't realize.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46113418/chapters/116083984

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/jupiter-flytrap/713180514064990208/confirmations-chapter-1-dollopheadedmerlin

***

The Calm Before the Storm

Artist: viraha

Writer: tigereyes45

Summary: Morgana has taken over Camelot with the help of her sister and their undead army. Arthur, Merlin, and the others take shelter within an abandoned castle. There they lick their wounds, and make plans for the fight. Merlin decides now is the best time to reveal a hidden truth.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46126483

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/virahaus/713239064837570560/the-calm-before-the-storm-by-tigereyes45-and-art

***

You don’t talk about fight club

Artist: alexagirlie

Writer: TravelAgentForGuiltTrips

Summary: Merlin almost doesn’t believe what he’s seeing, they were fighting with magic? He hadn’t thought anyone would be brave, or stupid enough, to start a magic fight ring in Camelot. And not just anywhere in Camelot, but a twenty-minute walk from the castle.

The fight continues until the woman manages to knock a staggering blow against the man. She looks around at the people surrounding the cage and raises her sword while wisps of fire surround her.

She looks familiar…

When she looks directly in Merlin’s direction, he recognizes who it is, even with the mask covering the bottom half of her face.

Morgana.

-AKA-

Merlin stumbles onto a magic fight ring, where Morgana is one of the fighters.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46199560

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/alexagirlie/713500800077463552/merlin-reverse-bang

***

The Little Prince That Could

Artist: chaosgenes

Writer: Lyskari

Summary: An otherwise routine day takes a turn when Arthur wakes up the next morning to find himself quite small! Together with Merlin they try to figure out what to do... and if it's even possible for him to be returned to normal size.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45758878/chapters/115152604

***

I Just Wanna Feel At Home

Artist: tigereyes45

Writer: Suitupbatman

Summary: "Feeling more like a fuck up by the day,

I had you,

Honestly, right now you feel far away.

I've got the heart of a martyr,

I've got the walls of a castle,

And I've got the same dreams as before,

But right now,

I just wanna feel at home."

FIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46278748

VIDEO: https://youtu.be/07sFCiw6f84

***

So Near, So Far, So In-Between

Artist: Mirayla

Writer: Mischel

Summary: When Arthur receives a mysterious mirror as a gift, Merlin immediately senses that it’s dangerous magic — and in his attempt to investigate, manages to get himself trapped inside it. Now, an evil doppelganger takes Merlin’s place and tries to kill Arthur.

Coincidentally, at the same time, Arthur is finally trying to express his feelings for Merlin and wants to start a relationship with him. The doppelganger does not appreciate it.

And Merlin can do nothing but watch.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46295389/chapters/116554105

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/mirayladraws/713880822524116992/new-session-archive-of

***

Faraway Memories

Artist: MaxMagician

Writer: kingdom_keys

Summary: When Albion’s need is greatest, Emrys and the Once and Future King will return to unite the land once again.

A mysterious box with these words appears on the desk of History Professor Merlin Wyllt. Little did he know, it would turn him into a fugitive, send him beyond the walls of the city, and into the life of one Arthur Pendragon.

A story of past memories, of present lives, and a romance transcending the boundaries of both.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46336240/chapters/116660749

***

All The Way Back You Held Out Your Hand

Artist: Laevateinn

Writer: EachPeachPearPlum

Summary: It's not that Gwaine's complaining, not really, because this is definitely the friendliest conclusion he's ever seen to a kidnapping. It's way better than torture and starvation followed by either a dramatic rescue or his untimely demise, but yeah, being knocked unconscious, tied up in a shack, having gibberish chanted at him and then being let go again is very definitely strange.

Or: Gwaine gets kidnapped and cursed by an evil sorcerer, but it's okay because Percival still really likes him.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46349827/chapters/116695435

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/mslaevateinn/714158301643980801/here-is-eachpeachpearplume-and-is-collaboration

***

It’s [Not] So Enchanting to Meet You

Artist: Papysanzo89

Writer: CaughtInTheRa1n

Summary: King Arthur has spent countless weeks convincing his council to invite Emrys, the King of the Druids, to Camelot for a peace treaty. It's time for them to bury the hatchet...except things aren't as simple as they sound. Emrys is rude and beautiful and smug. Arthur is unwilling to let go of his past. When the two find themselves relying on each other for survival, how will they ever see eye to eye?

A hurt/comfort fic with some dungeon-shaped trouble and (hopefully) requited romance. See notes for warnings.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46377451/chapters/116767240

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/papysanzo/714200631672520704/heres-my-second-rvbb-3-3-caughtinthera1n

***

Forged by Stardust

Podficcer: Caethes

Writer: Arete20

Summary: On Albion, the only space station in the Alliance of United Earth that welcomes open magic users, Merlin works as an assistant mechanic to Gaius. Though Merlin doesn’t hate his job, spending days repairing broken coffee machines and toasters can be tedious, but it's a small price to pay for being able to use his magic openly.

Then one day, a mysterious man called Arthur shows up with a broken droid and a barrage of questions. Arthur keeps coming back with more broken things, and as charmed as Merlin is, he knows Arthur knows more about Albion than he lets on, possibly even about the strange and suspicious incidents from a group of new crewmates. With the Alliance threatened by a brewing conspiracy, Merlin and Arthur find themselves putting differences aside to save both Albion and magic itself.

FIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46424716

PODFIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46414639

***

it ain’t no life to live like you’re on the run

Artist: kairennart

Writer: MerlinMorganEmrys

Summary: Camelot and Escetir are at war, and the gods never really learned how to leave the mortals to their own devices. There's also a prophecy because, of course there is.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46482205/chapters/117037480

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/kairennart/714796902674219008/death-war-and-destruction

***

What matters is what you make of it

Artist: rhiadan

Writer: Zaharya

Summary: Merlin felt it rush past him, and then Arthur was on the ground, clawing at his throat as he gasped for air.

In the blink of an eye, Merlin’s magic tore through Sigan’s spell. Coughing, Arthur doubled over, only just catching himself on his hands, while Merlin wrestled his magic back under control.

Withstanding the urge to rush to Arthur’s side, Merlin glared at Sigan. “You will not harm him.”

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46569508/chapters/117270664

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/rhiadan/715069290044391424/this-is-my-art-for-the-bbcmerlin-reversebang-i

***

We’ll Always Be The Last To Fall

Artist: Scarlet_Ribbons

Writer: ExcaliburnRowan

Summary:'He does not remember the feeling of panic rising in his throat at the thought that he would not be discovered before he became nothing more than a dead corpse in a dead Queen’s garden, an errant child out of bed after hours.'

After a lifetime of living on the knife-edge of death, when a seventeen year old Arthur is nearly killed by a traitor to in the very heart of Camelot, all he gets is a second glance and an imperious command from his father that Arthur is to get a new manservant. What's worse is that all his protests seem to fall on deaf ears.

Arthur doesn't exactly have the best history with manservants. And it seems like this one with Merlin is going to be shorter and worse than most. It is not just that he is forgetful, or disappears for days on end, but it seems like he had no grasp of common human behaviour. But despite everything, they manage to forge a friendship, and one night, long-kept secrets are revealed, pledges and sacrifices made, and a new era birthed.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46464595

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/silk-scarlet-ribbons/715254286069694464/merlin-reverse-bang-submission-art-post

***

Like an Oleander

Artist: Stelle_loves_reading

Writer: bang-the-smoke

Summary: After witnessing another sorcerer sentenced to death by King Arthur, Merlin decides he must overthrow him and rule Camelot, which is a unique way to end a relationship.

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46667728

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/artstelle/715325158983860224/new-session-archive-of

***

The Whole of the Moon

Podficcer: NotInPublic

Writer: teachinghimpoetry

Summary: Merlin and Arthur have finally found each other again, and are happily settled in Oxford. But the course of true love never did run smooth, even for the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth. Arthur’s quiet, desperate yearning for family consumes him, yet ends up liberating them both.

In which Merlin is surprised to discover that being a dad ain’t half bad

FIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46538512/chapters/117188719

PODFIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46644628

***

[Untitled]

Artist: alduade-art

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/alduade-art/715464074655399936/art-for-bbcmerlin-reversebang-the-writing-is-yet

***

Lovely

Artist: TheSpiritsDemise

Writer: bad_peppermint

Summary: They said the wizard of the woods could give you anything you wanted.

What Arthur wanted, more than anything, was to give up control. Let go of his burdens. Be calm.

The wizard's idea seemed preposterous at first, but what harm could trying it do? After all, it wasn't like they knew each other.

FIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46746037

ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46826974/chapters/117949645

***

for this moment, for all time

Artist: Mirayla

Writer: TheDragon

Summary: "So you—what? Want me to use my magic to help you?" Merlin asks, struggling not to let his disgust show.

"Not your magic, no," the man finally says after a too-long silence, interrupted only by the clanking of Merlin's shackles as he finally pulls himself to his feet. "The ritual would be performed on you. It can be done with or without your consent, but the chance of success will be much higher if you go into this willingly."

"And the ritual is?" Merlin asks after a beat.

"It's meant to dissolve the soulbond between you and King Arthur."

FIC & ART: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46823209/chapters/117939880

ART: https://www.tumblr.com/mirayladraws/715976614756990976/show-chapter-archive?source=share

***

Thank you!

#bbc merlin reverse bang #merlin fanfic #merlin fanart #merlin fests #reverse bang 2023 #masterlist

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