#lol idk what’s wrong with me for coming up with this
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🏴☠️lowlyseaman
I love not having scurvy 👍
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🦢w3nch
breaking mutuals with @/forgeguy don't ask me about it this is the last I'll say on the matter
🍹jackoff follow
omg did something happen :(
🦢w3nch
shut the fuck up never fucking talk to me again I'm so srs
🍹jackoff follow
kys
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🦢w3nch
i miss him so fucking much i can't fucking do this anymore
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🩻bigbarbie
this fucking meeting sucks I'm going to firebomb shipwreck cove
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👁️raspghetti
little life update I feel like I'm honestly really coming around on this prosthetic eye idk it's really starting to feel like a part of me now :') I hope I never have to lose it or anything
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🇬🇧kingofenglandofficial follow
piracy is a SCOURGE on these seas!!! EMBARRASSING!
🏴☠️iheartstealing follow
give me your stuff
☠️quarterdeckmain follow
omg I can't believe we still have piracy antis on this website to this day like this is literally the high seas piracy website go back to ye olde twitter
🩻bigbarbie
"piracy antis" girl that's the king of england
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⚔️forgeguy
I can't keep going like this I can't believe I did that to her I'm such a failure I should just kms like I literally don't deserve to be on this earth
⚔️forgeguy
just remembered some things. nevermind lol
⚔️forgeguy
remembered some more things and I want to die again I was so fucking wrong
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🍹jackoff follow
and when I drop the ***** aka ********* receipts then what. lol. lmao even
🦢w3nch
bitch give us a fucking vowel
🩻bigbarbie
yeah um just so everyone knows op literally shot me on isla de muerta so I'm really not interested in their receipts
🎣humblefisherman follow
what the fuck is going on on pirate ye olde tumblr
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🍹jackoff follow
everyone keeps calling me a liar they just hate to see a wench who tells it like it is
⚔️forgeguy
literal 100+ pages ye olde google doc of times op has lied
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🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow
you would actually not believe how much harder it is to girlblog when your fingers are turning into fucking shrimp or whatever
🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow
captain has it fucking easy
🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow
they're gonna whip me for this one lads :/
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🦢w3nch
anyone else riddled by guilt? clap if you're riddled by guilt
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🦀 follow
the second I'm free of this stupid flesh prison I'm putting a curse on this entire fucking website
🦐morehumblerfisherman follow
op what the fuck is this why do you not have an url
🦀 follow
the sea will claim you in five years. use your remaining time wisely
🦐morehumblerfisherman follow
sure yeah whatever. I'll fucking do that I guess.
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🏴☠️lowlyseaman
got scurvy 👎
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First off I just want to say I LOVED you’re other Leo x reader writing 😭
Could you write a sort of enemies (they just argue a lot lol) to friends to lovers with Leo on the Argo. Like maybe he’s blasting country music like 24/7 while he works and the reader hates it (sorry to any country music lovers lmao). Or like the reader is one room down from him and she just hears the power tools going all night. And maybe the reader ticks him off too because she like keeps breaking her weapons, or starts playing loud music to retaliate idk. But then one day they are paired together for night patrol or cleaning duty. Leo’s like “dude why do you hate me so much??” and the readers like “who said I hate you??
(Sorry if this is long I’m horrible at explaining things lol 😭)
he hates me, he hates me not
(im glad you liked the leo x reader fic and thank u sm for this request! it was a little rushed so i apologise in advance but it was rlly fun to write <3)
leo valdez x fem!reader
cw: arguing, enemies to friends to lovers, swearing, reader cabin not specified, not proof read
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Leo Valdez was infuriating to say the least.
You had agreed to join the quest, thinking that you and Leo could become good friends. What was there to dislike? He could be funny (at times), cared about his friends and had a nice face (something you would never admit out loud). But boy were you wrong. He held some sort of personal vendetta against you, ticking you off on purpose, making your life a literal living hell. You had no idea why he hated you so much.
"Maybe he likes you," Piper giggled, fanning her freshly painted nails. You two, along with Hazel and Annabeth were in Piper's room, having a girl's night.
"Me and Percy were like that before we got together too, y'know," Annabeth agreed, grabbing a cookie from the box that was sat beside your position on the bed.
"Oh please," you scoffed. "You guys know how much he pisses me off. It's too bad he has such a pretty face - oh shit." Realising what you'd said out loud, you immediately covered your face with your hands. "Please forget what I just said."
"Aww, someone's got a crush!" Squealed Hazel, throwing a pillow at you, "we are never letting you live this down."
You rolled your eyes at her. Just as you were about to grab the last cookie, the door flew open, along with the sweaty grime-covered bane of your existence.
"Pipes, have you seen Buford? He ran off with my tool belt. Are those cookies?" He reached an arm out towards the cookie box faster than the speed lightning, and before you could stop him, he'd taken the last cookie. Darn it. He looked around the room before his gaze fell upon you, to which he wrinkled up his face. "I wasn't aware that we let aliens in on this ship."
"Fuck off, Valdez," you grumbled. You weren't in the mood to argue with him right now. He'd taken the last damn cookie and now your evening was ruined. "Says the abominable fuck face. Buford isn't here. Go away before I punch your face in."
"Alright, alright, good night to y'all." Leo winked before saying, "except for you, Y/N, of course." You threw a pillow at the closing door.
_______
It was currently 1 am on the Argo, and Leo had been tinkering away in his room beside you. To be honest, the occasional sounds of the metal clinking and clattering was quite relaxing. It was the loud country music blasting, making you want to crawl under your bed and stuff cotton in your ears that was truly insufferable.
You weren't about to let go of the absolutely appetizing thought of sleep escape you, so naturally, you got up and knocked loudly on Leo's door.
"Come in!" you heard over the loud music. You entered his room and looked around, disgusted. The ground was absolutely trashed and looked like the equivalent of a war zone. "Oh, it's you."
"Can you please turn this horrible music down?" you tried to yell over the obnoxious music. "I'm trying to sleep."
"No can do!" he yelled back. "It helps me concentrate. Get out of my room!"
You huffed (which Leo thought was absolutely adorable) and slammed the door closed.
Back in your own cabin, you accepted the fact that you were going to wake up looking like a sleep deprived rat. However, maybe you were hallucinating or delusional but you swear you heard the volume lower before drifting off to sleep.
_______
"Not you again," you groaned as you saw the first locks of Leo's curly hair from the top of the ladder. "I thought I was on duty with Frank."
"We're stuck with each other I guess," Leo shrugged cheerfully, plopping down next to you. The night breeze was cooling on your face and you felt like the main character in a movie as the wind gently kissed your hair. For once, you actually didn't mind his presence. Then: "Dude, why do you hate me so much?"
"Hmm?" you hummed, unsure of where he was going with this. "What do you mean? I don't hate you."
"We can't stand each other!" Leo protested. "I'm always insulting you, and you're always insulting me back. This is probably the most civil conversation we've ever had!"
You were starting to feel defensive. Wasn't he the one that'd always started tormenting you? You'd only wanted to get back at him for everything he'd done to you. "You start all of it though! I wanted to be friends with you but you just wouldn't let me! I tried, Leo, I did but you were just so infuriating with your jabs and pretty face and pretty everything and- "
"Wait, you think I'm pretty?" Leo looked starstruck by your words. He was gazing at you with the softest look on his face. "Can I tell you something?" You nodded. "I acted like I hated you because you were too beautiful, definitely way out of my league. I'm so sorry."
You grew flustered at the sudden proximity between the two of you.
"Can I kiss you?" He breathed softly.
"Okay."
He leaned forwards and placed a hand around the back of your head, the other finding yours and intertwining your fingers together. His lips were slightly chapped against yours but you felt like you were in heaven.
Breaking apart with a small giggle, you mustered up your courage and asked, "Can we do that again?"
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I hate this man so much it's actually unreal lol I can't believe it!! he is such a useless pathetic failure of a father on every conceivable level. being emotionally abusive and religiously abusive (and occasionally physically abusive to us) all through our childhood and his marriage to my mom just wasn't enough, he has to be a massive fucking cheapskate on top of everything else (except when he's spending money on himself or I guess his do-over family). it's so funny how his wife will ask him to get her a 1200 fur coat right in front of me while also giving him a 50 dollar cap to spend on me for my bday (which is the only time I ever see a cent from him so it's essentially 50 dollars a year, meanwhile my mother supports me during my bouts of un/underemployment, and also supports my brother who has never worked and probably never will). I wouldn't be in this fucking student loan debt with no degree to show for it if he'd prioritized me over that woman even once. but no, they have a fancy house in the suburbs now, three really nice cars, a fucking RV, and my half brother has more toys and gadgets than I've ever seen in my life. and we have NOTHING. Not a single car for our entire household of 5 (our aunt had to move in with us and start contributing financially so we wouldn't lose the house that HE should be paying off since HE signed the damn mortgage to begin with).
I can't emphasize enough what a fucked up person my dad's wife is either, like she has some kind of personality disorder for sure. while she was his mistress (parents weren't divorced when they got together, just fighting) I guess she got sick of him constantly breaking up with her to beg my mom to let him fix things while not being willing to meet any of her demands (meds and therapy), so the psycho actually went off birth control and got on fertility treatments at age 45 without telling him and managed to get pregnant, all to ensure that he would stay (he's equally to blame of course, for being such a fucking idiot and a massive hypocrite who was having premarital sex despite it being firmly against the rules of his fundamentalist cult. but he's still going to heaven and me and my gay brother are hellbound because ummm Jesus 🙏). even then he still wanted to leave but her grown son threatened my dad at gunpoint and said he'd kill him if he left again. and yet he still chooses to prioritize this woman's deranged whims over his kids health and stability. he's just as horrible as she is so they deserve each other but I sure as fuck don't!! honestly what the fuck is wrong with him. none of this even had to happen. I'm glad he left the house bc living with him was awful but his new family ruined any chance my mom had of receiving help from him at all.
It's especially hilarious that they have this weird power dynamic bc they LARP as a trad christian couple and she lets him bark orders at her and make all the decisions when it comes to raising my half brother. says shit like "he's the man so he's the king of the house" verbatim, unironically. It's ONLY when it comes to us that she suddenly becomes the domestic dictator and he can't possibly stand up to her-total bullshit excuse of course, I'm sure he LOVES being able to blame his miserly ways entirely on her even though he is a grown adult with agency and his own bank account and I'm his fucking DAUGHTER. I can't believe how selfish two people can be. I sincerely hope my half brother never finds out the circumstances behind his birth. Insanity. And the funniest part is she genuinely doesn't know why my brother openly doesn't like her and thinks it's a Him problem (as if we don't ALL fucking hate her, how does she think we wouldn't after all she did??? literally a homewrecker and tries to play innocent. amazing).
Idk I'm just so sick of this shit. Sick of having to play nice with these two sociopathic individuals just bc I want to be in my 8 year old half brothers life and be a good influence on him so he doesn't turn into a demented freak like his parents. but I hate being around them. I hate acting like everything is okay and any of this is normal. I want him to know I don't forgive him for what he did to me and my siblings or the hell he put my mother through. I want him to know he gave me PTSD and trust issues and ruined my view of marriage and relationships in general forever. I wonder what he'd do if I told him the full extent of everything. I'm very aware that he tells himself a fictitious story about how it all went down to alleviate himself of responsibility and thus guilt, but I could probably shatter it if I told him all of my feelings. I'm afraid he'd kill himself like his brother did if I shook his foundations too much though
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I know you weren't thinking I'd skip out on my chapter rant and seeing as i had 2!!! Chapters to catch up on you know this will be lengthy. Apologies and spoilers...ish i will try to make shit vague if i can.
1. I FUCKING LOVE THE KIDS!!! OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!! I legit died i was like awww omg. No.. not in this story with Liza janes damn creepy ass creatures! Get the kids out of here!!! 😭
But no for real i loved them and i love kids in gen so it was just adorable!
2. The creepy kid thing. Didn't we discuss this even before you even uploaded the demo in the first place??? Did we not!! I remember we did and regretting that i even said anything. I shld learn to shut up... she says while writing a long ass rant.
3. You are so wrong!!!! So very wrong for writing that walk scene with Basil. You know what you did there! There is no need to send my head spinning like that you cruel person! I had to take a minute. Stupid basil 🙄🤭🫣
4. Can we just stop letting flo like creepy shit. Stop it! I love you now stop touching creepy crap. We've discussed this omg 😭
On that note the doubt i loved. The whole am i crazy thing. And the ROs not believing you is so on point! You slayed!
5. Sawyer... sawyer is me. It's the spiderman meme. I don't camp i don't do outdoors. I love kids but hate grass. I laughed at the what the f.. redirection because honestly SAME!!
And telling MC i guess you're okay. Bruh. Thanks.. i guess??! I have never related more to being so awkward in my life. They are the grumpycat i needed. And them instantly seeing tht creepy thing and going no. 🤣 and the splashing scene. So aggressive lmao like can you stop sounding like a damn Tsundere 😂
What number am i even on.
Idk.
I loved the little therapy session and i wanted to punch every single ex that hurt any of my poor ROs also who the hell cheats on those ppl. Idiots.
And then more creepiness 🙄💀
You keep scaring the crap out of me. I like and hate it lol
I loved the update!!! You are awesome and you shld know i think that by now. I enjoyed it so much! 😇💜
Wheee I'm so happy! Thank you so much
SO GLAD YOU LOVE THE CAMPERS. They're really important to the story and I love them but I'm terrified of accidentally writing them "wrong" or just plain unlikable. It means so much that you like them, foul-mouthed and messy and rude as they can be :D
HAHAHAHAHA WE DID WE SOOOO DID but I'm sorry the trope is right there it'd be illegal if I didn't use it
"Kneel..." Omg now you need to tell me which crushtype your MC was! I wanna know the exact scene you got hehe
No, sorry. He won't stop. And also, it'll take some time for him to believe the MC, but don't worry, he'll come around! And the others, too. Soon. But for the moment, Basil is the only one who believes MC without reservation.
Also very very happy you enjoyed the local grumpycat. That's really the best moniker for Sawyer, but don't worry, they have a heart ^^ somewhere in there.
The therapy session was like writing a scabbed wound, I was really hoping to make it feel like a hug... if that makes sense
Love love love that I got to scare you! So happy! And your lengthy ask means so much to me, thank you <3
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Psy vs. Psy
I genuinely think that if they were going to bring back any psych villian, Lindsay Leikin would pose the biggest threat. She knows Shawn isn’t psychic, she has adequate motivation to target him personally, and has the skills to prove he’s a fraud and do it slyly as she is also highly skilled in deductive reasoning (she did manage to get them to the counterfeiter to begin with so she has legitimate talent). She could even orchestrate it from prison. Maybe her parole was denied again so, like, what else is she going to do? Plus, she’s kind of nuts. Faking being a psychic with the FBI is a whole other level of bold compared to a local precinct, then she met a counterfeiter and was like yes please, more crime, then killed him when he tried to run, slept with Shawn that same night, then tried to take him hostage when she got caught. Its just a shame she wasn’t a bit more charismatic or eccentric. They had her play it as a very normal girl swept into a life of crime because of a guy (probably because she was a “love interest” for Shawn) when the receipts show she was an absolute lunatic (look at her face after they found the guy she killed. This bitch is smiling).
Also, she just kinda gave up when she was caught. I wish she’d have been screaming “he’s a fraud!” as she was taken to the car or even had a heart to heart moment with Lou Diamond Phillips because she did betray him after all. Idk, i just wanted more. (But i think maybe the writers recognized this and thats how we get Declan later??)
Gus is basically siri at this point. Between the archeology, safes, online poker, the law, tennis players, space, comic books, of course pharmaceuticals, and now studies tender from all over the world- its a smaller list of what Gus doesn’t know. Gus clearly likes learning. I’m surprised he never thought of becoming a teacher or college professor, to try to pass that love of learning to the next generation. Though i guess we see he’s not that great with people surprisingly, considering he’s a successful salesman. (OH MY GOD WHAT IF THIS WHOLE TIME GUS ACTUALLY HAD LIVED UP TO HIS POTENTIAL AND BECAME AN INTERNATIONAL SPY. He knows all these things because of his job, psychs only been able to stay open because Gus can fund it from his spy job, joining psych was a good front but he was also lonely from never getting to be himself. I kid, i kid, but its a fun idea for me haha)
No fucking way shawn doesn’t know what a drill is. Henry definitely would have beat that kind of man stuff into him. The military time too. I just felt the need to point this out. its like the show itself is dissing my boy and i have to defend him lol
I love when Gus is proud and smarmy over shawns talent. Look at his face here. My boy about to prove you wrong.
And do you think Shawn is actually afraid of competition or do you think he learned at an early age from his father that he didn’t have value unless he was the best? Huh Henry, huh???(Weekend warriors “you don’t want to be a loser” comes to mind)
Henry trying some reverse psychology here. I can’t tell if its because Henry is actually concerned for Shawns safety like he said he wasn’t in the previous episode, or if he’s still taking it personally that Shawns using the gifts he “gave” him to be psychic. Probably both. We know he was really bothered by his motorcycle accident, so i wonder if he’s been kind of spiraling, and adding up all the crazy situations he’s been in. (Which, i don’t think Shawn tells him about. i think Gus calls him like a weekly report haha) I think the fact that shawns cases are becoming more dangerous he suddenly doesn’t like the idea of him being a detective, well a detective this way at least, because i think in his mind he’d be safer if he was an actual cop where he had a partner with a gun, and back up, and rules, and training. I mean we know he wouldn’t be, (look at what happens to Lassie and Juliet)
I just wanted to gif this because it’s one of my fave jokes in the episode!
Mildred to the rescue! Im not entirely sure how this worked but it did and thats what matters haha
*Appropriate reaction is appropriate*
#adding forgery to shawns repertoire#juliet must have heard all the romeo and juliet lines#i bet she hates Shakespeare#im pretty sure i had that exact easy bake oven lol#little shawn played the bassoon ✅#i think I’ve decided to let these be long#psych#psych tv#psych rewatch#psych usa#shawn spencer#burton guster#shawn and gus#james roday rodriguez#james roday#dulé hill#dule hill#corbin bernsen#timothy omundson#maggie lawson#carlton lassiter#juliet o'hara
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So I have this headcanon that demons are way taller than the average human. The average human is 5’4 - 5’9 (175cm - 162cm) and the average demon height is something like 6’4 - 6’9 (or taller depending on genes diet I assume, so you can only imagine what height the bros are)
Imagine in the Devildom all the furniture is significantly bigger than it is in the human world to account for their heights. Like say a counter top is about to your waist or lower in the human realm, in the Devildom it’s up to your chest or even higher.
Queue all the boys making fun of you for being tiny.
One time you had to call Lucifer because you couldn’t use the goddamn toilet without falling in since it was so big. (He had to have Diavolo get a smaller one installed)
You fell off your bed once and it was like falling off a skyscraper.
Beel has to help you into your chair sometimes because you can’t reach.
Satan helps with getting things off high shelves for you.
Asmo took you to get some high heels/platform boots so you could feel more comfortable.
You’ve adapted to just climb on top of someone or something to assert dominance.
…but what abt the bros in the human realm??
It’d be like 7 bulls in a china shop lmfao
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me crack#obm headcanons#obey me mc#shit post#lol idk what’s wrong with me for coming up with this
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the one thing i feel pretty certain about for this episode is that america will not decide the election. a decision will be made, a president will be elected, but america will not be the deciding factor.
succession can’t mimic 2016 or 2020 point blank, that would be boring and have nothing to say. it can’t try to outdo trump because it’ll go too whacky and fall flat like veep’s last season (sorry conheads, no way he’s winning). but what it CAN do is illustrate the immensely corrupt, often arbitrary, and hugely influential nature of news media and conglomerations on political processes. i think probably jimenez will be in the lead, then atn/waystar does something to, i don’t know, discount votes or cast suspicion on jimenez or call the election for mencken early, and the tide will shift, even though the votes are already in. the votes don’t actually matter. the actual result doesn’t actually matter. that’s the power logan (and as an extension, billionaires and CEOs in general) hold. shiv says it herself to logan in s4e2: “just cause you say it’s true doesn’t make it true. everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you, so it becomes true and then you can turn around and say like, 'oh, you see? see? i was right.'” but it doesn’t matter that logan’s “a human fucking gaslight,” everything he says comes true anyways. not because he was right, but because that’s how it works. he says things and then they happen, regardless of what the truth is or what should actually come to pass. that’s been one of the key throughlines since the very first episode of the entire show when, in response to kendall calling logan out of touch because times are changing and logan isn't changing with them, logan hisses that everyone always says you’re wrong until you do it and prove you were right: “you make your own reality.” you can't miss the bus if you're the one driving it. the election, the votes, the political process? none of that matters. it was always going to come down to the roys and their ilk (allies or enemies, just the top 1%) — that was the whole point of “what it takes” (the mencken episode) last season, after all.
i’ve seen lots of theories about what america will choose and how the candidates will respond and all that and i just don’t think that’s the show’s focus; i think the whole point is to demonstrate the lack of agency, the illusion of democracy. because, i mean, we’ve already seen the fall of democracy via fascist election and fascist election-denial, both in real life and in the countless (usually mid) satires created afterwards. it would be disappointing to see succession use the election to reiterate that same point of 'ohhh alt-right ahhhhh!!!' i don’t think it’ll be about ‘fascism’ at all — at least, not ‘trump-y’ fascism. it’ll be about fascism in the broader sense, the kind that doesn't sport a KKK hood (even when it keeps one tucked away in the attic). it's the fascism that every single roy (very much including shiv and kendall) aid and abet -- the fascism that so many succession fans don't seem to regard as fascism, despite it quite literally being the definition of fascism. trump wasn’t the entrance of fascism into our political process. he wasn’t the lone sign of the failing of american democracy. democracy in america has long been illusory, trump just made it more blatantly evident with his particular brand of hate-speech-ridden masculinist in-your-face fascism.
so i think that’s what this episode will hopefully focus on — america will not decide. corporations, news media, and the roys will. thus, the president will most likely become president not because the country supports his policies the most, but because he’s likely to agree to help block a business deal for a major media empire, and the other candidate is unlikely to. and this will likely come to pass due to said major media empire's interference and influence: they create their own reality. they say it, and everyone agrees with them and believes them, so it becomes true.
#WOOF okay here's my unnecessary ~thematic prediction~ for this episode#i have some more like random thoughts ab what'll happen but those r less thought out and more throwing shit at the wall etc#but i've been thinking a lot ab this ep n idk i just can't see any other way it could be done satisfyingly -- they can't just do 2016/2020#again. the focus has to be elsewhere. i have some specifics thoughts on details but again those r kinda random n will be in another post#after bizarrely getting a lot of things right this szn i know a lot of people are looking to me to see what i'll say for this ep and let me#remind yall that I AM LITERALLY JUST GUESSING BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE SHOW AND HOW NARRATIVES#TEND TO WORK PARTICULARLY IN SUCCESSION! if i am wrong which i very well might be please do not crucify me. i know literally#nothing more than anyone else i'm just a random english/gov major who likes speculating about media ! that said if i end up right again#somehow then yes i am a prophet i am jesse armstrong i have never been wrong about anything in my life. etc#watch this age so poorly tho.#LOL#also fwiw i dont think the Shock etc is going to come from the election results - maybe possibly from the way things happen (i could see a#line of miscommunication resulting in fucked up outcomes etc which i can get into in another post) or a roy sibs moment but i just#don't think there's any way the results themselves cld be surprising. it's jimenez or mencken. it's not gonna be connor guys.#succession#succession spoilers#except not really. just succession speculation more than anything else#long post#succession speculation#100
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okay im back with more for this arranged marriage AU! Heres the last thing i wrote
this time i made something longer--Asmo and MC doing their little meeting/date before agreeing to marriage
its fun check it out :]
the only warning is "an upset asmo getting in ur personal space'" other than that i think thats it!
Tomorrow you were supposed to meet your possible future fiancé. This type of affair was not a first time thing for you so you already had an idea of how things would go. Which was the two of you being forced to interact for several hours.
Though you knew what was coming, was it not possible to be a little nervous considering who it was you were meeting?
Asmodeus Morningstar--one of the most influential families in Nefarelin. Their was no shortage of exceptional members in that tree. And to be crass, every other potential spouse you met before were like dried leaves in comparison.
And this didn't even factor Asmodeus's own appeal and popularity. You'd only seen him in passing a few times but you could tell he was quite beautiful even from a distance. On top of that, the general public were strangely obsessed with him. You weren't completely sure why, but he must be very likeable if that's the case.
God, how many people have probably asked for his hand in marriage by now? You could only wonder.
All around it would be pretty foolish to turn this down. And that's why you were nervous…. Your parents were giving you a choice. But it was one of those choices where the answers were 'yes' or 'hmm, okay I suppose'. You did not want to know what would happen if you dare declined.
You'd already considered the logistics of this situation, dwelled on it for days. And it would definitely be a loveless marriage from your side. And that was something normal…but you were fine with how your life was currently! You didn't want to deal with any expectations romantic or otherwise from a spouse.
And what about Asmodeus.
He was well loved by many, had a reputation for enjoying the nightlife and being the center of attention. It seemed highly unlikely that a man like him was looking to "settle down" all of a sudden!
Your hands stop fiddling with your hair.
Wait.
Maybe this arrangement could work.
~
God this is so uncomfortable.
Maybe you underestimated Asmodeus. For some reason the first time your eyes met his saccharine ones, you struggled with maintaining contact. Each time, it felt like he was staring straight into your mind.
Perhaps it was just your nerves but either way you were overwhelmed. You didn't feel like yourself so had trouble talking.
Luckily for you, Asmodeus didn't notice or didn't care as he had been talking nonstop this entire time.
"Hellooo?"
"Oh--sorry what did you say?"
Asmodeus repeats his question while fanning himself. "I asked if you wanted to rest for a minute. I need a break from the sun."
"Okay…"
It was sunny today but not too hot to take a walk. Though you had been outside for a good while with Asmodeus. You both make your way to a gazebo that provided good shade around this time of day.
You rest your elbows on on of the railings and prop your head in your hands. A small sigh escapes you.
"Can you make it any more obvious that you don't want to be here?"
Asmodeus rests a small distance away, smiling but you're not so sure if he's being lighthearted about it.
It was a fair observation. These meetings always felt like a waste of time to you. They were forced interactions. The worst type. And you already knew you'd agree with the arranged marriage at the end anyways.
"Sorry, I'm just a little tired."
You look back at him and try to give a friendly(?) smile. Actually why not just be straightforward now?
"It's kind of hard to believe you want to get married. It doesn't seem like something that would interest someone like you."
"Eh…I guess there comes a time in everyone's life where they think about these things."
Very vague.
Asmodeus leans back in his chair, looking up as if he's scraping through his brain. "But I don't recall running into you beforehand. I definitely would have remembered…so how would you know that?"
"I've heard a lot about you. Kind of impossible not to."
You had a bit of an idea about him before this whole situation. But once it got out that he was "interested" in proposing, well the maids had no problem telling you everything they knew. It was definitely not all true, but it pretty much confirmed what you already felt.
"That makes sense. Isn't it great that now you get to experience me in person instead of by word-of-mouth~"
"…Uh huh. Well I feel like I should tell you now. That I plan to say yes."
"Say yes?"
"Say yes to marrying you."
You watch for any negative reactions but nothing. Though you were still sure he wasn't really interested in marriage.
"…Oh?"
"Listen I understand if you were forced into this position. In fact, I'm sure that you were. And to be honest I've never been partial to marriage myself. I always thought it wasn't in the cards for me…"
You take a step away from the railing closer to Asmodeus. "But wouldn't it be foolish to say no?
Outside of the benefits it would have for my family. You're definitely one of the most sought after bachelors…and well just look at you. I'm almost a little envious…"
Asmodeus's curious face changes to something else. Something you can't really place your finger on. You just knew he didn't look very pleased.
"Well at least I know you're not blind." His fingers play with his fringe. "And that's all fine and dandy but…"
When Asmodeus stands and looks back at you your heart skips a beat. You take a step back as he takes one forward. "I hope you're ready to handle me because I don't think you can."
Oh my god what was happening?
You were frozen in place as Asmodeus trapped you against the railing between his arms. You didn't even think to push him away and just stood there stupidly.
"I-I…"
Rustling sounds from a nearby hedge, but when you both look in the direction of the noise there's giggling and the sound of retreating people.
You sigh. At least someone was enjoying the show.
You gently push at Asmodeus's chest so you can make space.
"Sorry sometimes the staff gets bored haha…er should we h-head back?"
"If that's what you want."
Asmodeus turns away from you. "I just want you to know that since this marriage is just a title I'll be sticking to my usual. Hope you don't mind~" He walks away humming to himself.
Your brows furrow…that man. Why'd he have to do all that? You weren't expecting anything different in the first place?
You let out a huge sigh. Was this going to be the norm from now on?
Well at least you both were on the same page about the marriage…. but you couldn't help but think a serious misunderstanding just occurred.
#U know when ur playing a game and you pick the wrong dialogue choice#Anyways got kinda lost there at the end#I was like...hmm i hope this makes sense!#i dont wanna overthink this and get tired too fast cause i would like to come up with more stuff before i get bored#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmodeus x reader#obey me asmodeus x mc#obey me nightbringer#anyways...not me using miscommunication for drama#dont worry itll be fixed quickly cause mc cant take the heat for long#and is like...whats ur freaking problem?? i didnt do anything to you??#and asmo is still being passive aggressive but explains#and mc is like...im not trying to use u??#i thought we could have a kinda mutual beneficial relationship here...?#or something like that#idk shits happening yall lol#Nefarelin is a made up place#i pulled from thin air#cause i didnt wanna say devildom lol
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@dndadscharacterpolls *sweats nervously* guys if either Nick or Grant make it to the next round I'll compile the "every Anthony 'wow' compilation" sjsjjsksks and I made the "heh" compilation so you know I'm serious so say yes to good friendly voter fraud on silly character polls and support my boys please and thank you!
#perhaps not as exciting as the heh compilation idk but I think it's funny#dndads#dungeons and daddies#(delete later if nothing comes to fruition I suppose)#I honestly wasn't gonna get all that involved but people being mean to Nick got me riled up lol#That boy is a literal saint what is wrong with you#Nicky is one thing but Close? Nick Close!?!?!#Anyways it ain't much but it's honest dishonest work#gotta at least *try* y'know#I'll stop being annoying about this soon I swear
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the dream I had of aki was so weirdly vivid... it felt seriously real......
#my heart was pounding fast when I woke up#in the dream me and aki went on vacation together or something like that#and I suppose we weren't dating we were just friends#he was so tall and handsome in my dream... I got shy every time he was standing next to me....#we got a hotel together in the city and we spent some time doing stuff for our vacation#first we went on a boat and admired the water together#it felt like we were really on the beach... like I could feel the wind and smell the ocean...#after that aki suggested we go to a costume party on the boat so we did#idk what I dressed up as but aki dressed up as shin from dorohedoro lol#then aki told me he had to leave for a while so I found a room where there was nobody else#and I played video games while I waited for him to come back#when he did come back he hugged me and asked if I was tired#so we left the party and took a train to go back to the hotel#this is the interesting part... okay...#because the train was literally empty it was just me and aki#aki was zoning out so I asked him what was wrong#and he had his hand on my thigh#and he explained that he just thinks I'm so pretty... he hasn't been able to think about anything else...#he kissed me....#and somehow I was in his lap#there was some grinding....#and aki kissed my neck while telling me we have to wait for when we get back to the hotel room#hhhhhuuuuuuuhhhhhhhggg#I guess it wasn't anything special but the dream felt way too real for some reason#it felt like it was really happening with aki#and I have such a crush on hiiiimmmm asbsbshsjjw#sorry for long tags I had to ramble
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That feeling when you like someone and feel like a 12 year old with their first crush
#ryan.txt#y’all I have not felt this way in awhile it’s WEIRDSJWKKWWJDJDJ#I have not felt this way since legit 2022#and I’m talkin like April of 2022#OH NY VODKSJSJDHDJ#guys I’m tweakingjfjfjfjf#I don’t know if we’ll date but uh#guess I was wrong#BC THEY ACTUALLY LIKE ME#I know this isn’t a mental illness post#but like#if you read any of my posts you know I’ve settled often#like I haven’t dated a lot of my actual crushes LOL#AND THIS ISNT EVEN THAT WIWJWJSJDUDH#LIKE I AM SO KAKASJ!!?!:):$#mind you it’s the person I’ve liked on and off through half this year#I feel like I’m dreaming#like I said idk what will come of this#and if they fuck up like most people I know pls ignore this#but this is so sweet I’m melting#earlier he was like implying mind you not even To me#that liking me is a good thing?????#EARLIER HE SAID HE CANT BELIEVE SOMEONE LOVELY LIKE ME LIKES HIM KAKWJWJSJSJSJDJDJDJDJ#IM CRYINGKRJEJEUSJSJDJDUDUD#remember me spiraling thinking they didn’t like me#THAT TO THIS#is the universe finally being nice to me?!?#crush#I didn’t think I could get crushes on people anymore#WHAT IS GOING ON
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...
#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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I could fix s9 Dean
#you could argue his motivations for the Ezekiel debacle were selfish but I truly think he hates himself too much for that#yes he’s afraid of being alone but my god it’s been beaten into his head since he was a child to never let any harm befall Sammy#and he’s failed so miserably at that lol#and the one time! the ONE TIME that Dean had accepted sam was going to sacrifice himself#he spent upwards of 1000 years trapped with lucifer getting (canonically!) raped!#I’m not saying Dean did THE RIGHT THING especially with the guy who’s bodily autonomy has been violated so many times via possession#I’m just saying IT MAKES SENSE WHY HE DID WHAT HE DID#also since like season 1? 2? dean’s whole thing has been ‘it scares me what I’m willing to do for family’ well!#and he knows he was wrong he is like aware that he was in the wrong#anyway sam said he wouldn’t do the same for Dean and I’m going to be honest. I DON’T BELIEVE HIM#ALSO this was RIGHT after they decided to choose each other instead of boarding up hell#so what was Dean supposed to do LET SAM DIE? FOR NOTHING? it all would’ve been for naught!!!!!#and sam coming back later with ‘you talked me into that’ idk king. that was a 2 way street#SORRY IM SORRY I JUST UNDERSTAND WHY HE DID IT IS ALL#please don’t get mad at me samgirls ilu
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Thx for tagging me @grizou79giroud
Its just a shame i have such a long @ 😭 And with so many L's too. The stretches I took to write this are phenomenal. Cringe music taste alert
l - La Serenata by BCA, Sech
i - Imposible by Luis Fonsi
v - Victorious by Panic! At The Disco
e - Enemy by Imagine Dragons
l - La Bicicleta by Carlos Vives, Shakira
a - Aplatanao by Ventura
u - Uptown Girl by Billy Joel
g - good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo
h - High Hopes by Panic! At The Disco
l - Levitating by Dua Lipa
o - Out Of The Woods by Taylor Swift
v - Viva La Vida by Coldplay
e - Ex's & Oh's by Elle King
f - Fun-K by Manic Drive
o - Overwhelmed by Ryan Mack
o - Only Human by Ryan Mack
t - Timber by Pitbull, Kesha
b - Be You Beautiful by Manic Drive
a - Any Way You Want It by Journey
l - Lights by Ellie Goulding
l - Lucky by Crash Adams
taking my buddies and then a few random people tumblr indoctrinates me into believing are my mutuals, drawing them out of a hat and tagging them. @barcagirly @shit-garbage @pierregaslays @cryingforcrocodiles @kylivier
#it took be about 5 minutes to figure out what i was supposed to do#maybe i did it wrong and now i just end up#idk#doing it wrong#being a fool#coming up with my OWN thing#boom#yeah#have fun judging the cringe music#it took me so long to week thru my spotify and find music that fit with the letters and was normal enough to post on sports blogger tumblr#lol
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i wanna cope with a bad day by starting a stupid, way too plot-heavy sims game with my new f/o/crush/idek what he is but i can never decide whether to play sims 2 or sims 4...
also
^ he is so babygirl for this
#(but so wrong for wearing SHOES ON THE BED)#also i guess this counts as an f/o reveal lol hiii this is the background character i was talking abt the other day... ernie :3c#he is so sassy and smartypants#i watched this movie back in 2019 but i didn't f/o him until now. idk why it's always funny to me when that happens#like... past me had no idea what was coming skdjlfjf#ANYWAYS... gameplay in sims 2 is just superior#but i'm not immune to the fact that sims 4 is so... so pretty....#(i liked sims 3 back in the day but the graphics drive me bananas now. i cannot play with those melted-wax-figure looking sims)#i think im in the mood for sims 4 🤔 but i need to uninstall some mods screwing up my game since the update 🧍🏻♀️#i cant wait for growing together to go on sale. also omg NEXT PACK IS HORSES.... im so excited#caitiechat#ernietag
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i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)
#feeling so bad about it but like i cant bring myself to interact with people right now but i am also constantly sad because i dont interact#with anyone out of work :/ but working makes me socially exhausted & tbh all i wanna do is be depressed with my books & my movies &my tunes#but i also crave affection like i realize i have zero social life and i sometimes schedule some hangout with my friends but it's almost#become like idk a task? something i look at through work eyes. like- i arrange our hangouts the way i arrange work meetings. it's so sad.#i know it is. but still- i cant help it. through all my life ive been missing having a lifelong friend who knows me like the back of their#hands and i know like the back of mine. never had it. cant cry over that. it's passed. i cant invent lifelong friendships that never existed#and i gotta make peace with that. plus- what am i complaining about if im just incapable of keeping any friend for longer than a month???#after the first month- maybe the first couple of months- it all gets boring and dont get me wrong i really love my friends but somehow they#lose interest in me and i lose interest in them and we become just people who know each other and occasionally hang out but like- i've never#had a friend who's there for me when things happen in my life. i've always had friends to tell things to afterwards. like- i know i cant#really pick up the phone and say “hey. im having a bad time. can we take a walk? talk on the phone? can you tell me about your day? can you#just be here for me?“ and i cant even idk just randomly pop up with a ”oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him it's a whole montague vs#capulet but if romeo and juliet never existed kind of hatred!!“ i just cant vent right away. ive always thought that that's my problem.#and maybe it is. but still- how's come they can vent to me? im always there right away. i do love my people and i show up for them.#sometimes my depression makes it soooo difficult to hang out constantly but if there's one thing that cannot be said about mw is that i dont#care. cuz i do. and maybe that's the problem#and maybe it's just easier for me to care than let others care? idk? but then again- i did try to open up. i did try to let them care. i did#try everything by the book & off the book but still- idk it's always just an “im sorry” never an “i care so much to say more than im sorry”#and yeah it's my problem cuz i am not a constant person im not that steady in what i do. i still dont know if it's because i havent found#yet the people worth doing it or if i am just traumatized (my ex is knocking on this door lol) but- idk it makes me extremely sad!!!#and ive rambled on way too much but i jusg needed to let some things out of my mind cuz i cant understand whats wrong with me and why i#crave true friendships although im hella scared of and bored of and unwilling to nurturing one :)#cinnamon diary
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