#live laugh love emily prentiss

[lux-va-coulter]

Watching criminal minds is literally just me shipping all the women with Emily.

*Cough cough* JJ and Alex *Cough cough*

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss is a lesbian #alex blake #jj #jennifer jareau #criminal minds #i am emily prentiss's wife #live laugh love emily prentiss

[nitrogeneix]

Bittersweet notes

Aaron Hotchner x child!reader

TW: angst, mentions of violence, guns, knifes, glass, Foyet, trauma??? neglect(I think), death, mentions of panic attacks(past), little bit of yelling, ooc most likely.

wc- maybe over 500 i forgot

a/n: trying out a new writing style, really slow in updating. Lmk if I missed any warnings I should add. Reader should be around 11-12. Gn!reader

"Music expresses that which cannot be said on which it is impossible to be silent on." -Victor Hugo

You stood by the musical hall, on your phone trying to text your father before you had to put it away. It was finally the day of your performance and no sign of him showing up. Restlessly you pulled your phone again while clicking on the contact;

Dad :)

Out came out messages only sent from you.

Leaving home soon!

Are you gonna pick me up?

Nvm babysitter offered to drop me off

Dad? You there????

Hello?

Saving you a seat, the usual

Are you gonna come?

I have to enter the building soon, won't be able to text

Dad?

Going inside, remember it's stage 4, seat 20, love you

Your finger hit the erase

You're still coming right?

"Hey y/n ! Hurry inside you have to change, you're the closing musician."

You looked up at the sound of your name, "mhm I will, I just need to make a quick call, I'll be there in a bit." The person simply shrugged and left as you clicked dial.

A few seconds passed by and as you were about to hang up the call connected.

Hotchner.

Dad?

Y/n? Why are you calling did something happen.

A sudden pang ran through your heart, you ignored the feeling before answering

Uh no I just thought you were- anyways are you doing a case right now?

No I'm, I'm with Beth, are you sure you're alright? Is Jack alright?

Jack's fine! He's with the babysitter and I'm- I'm at-

"Aaron is everything alright? They've already called our table."

You could hear Beth's voice linger with a bit of worriness, whether it was something bad happening or their date being ruined.

Listen y/n I have to hang up now, I'll check your messages afterwards if that's okay?

You choked back a sniffle,

Y-yeah no that's fine by me, have fun.

Love you y/n

Mhm

When the call ended you only shoved your phone in your bag and walked into the hall. It was filled with people, you pushed your way through and made it backstage with moments to spare; walking into a dressing room.

Sighing you decided it was time to change. You pulled out a dress shirt, vest and pants, before adjusting the red tie, the one your father gave you. You sat in the room for a bit before you pulled out the piece you were supposed to play. It seemed like almost yesterday....

You were just a small child who picked up the violin as a hobby. Your mother, Haley, had been playing the piano as a young girl but never really pursued it. Rather than wanting to follow her steps you wanted to be closer to her, and you learned that violinists have an accompanist. Your first lessons consisted of learning the basics, and the years after that was learning how to be in sync with your mother, which was easily accomplished.

You wouldn't say you were a prodigy but according to the public you were, and a good one at that. Haley would take you to small competitions and when you won them, she'd take it a bit further, but she would never make you do anything you didn't want to.

However during the events of Foyet you were in witness protection and dropped the competitions completely, only playing small duets with your mother. It was after Foyet had targeted your family, where you lost Haley, your one supporter, your accompanist, your friend, and most importantly, your mother.

bang bang bang

When those shots were fired you wished. Wished that your father had gotten here early. Or maybe your mother took the gun and shot him instead. Or perhaps that you had been shot instead. Instead of being dragged by Foyet. Instead of his knife greeting you. Instead of the stairs you were thrown against, the glass shards that had entered your palms. Right when he had finally finished tossing you around, he was about to step on your hands, the one thing a musician would care about most, your father broke the door and the fight commenced.

You grimaced at the memory, while you pulled out your brown case. Opening it you were greeted with the slight smell of pine.

"Hey kiddo how's practice going?" Your mom stood by your room frame.

"I'm almost done with the piece! I've been thinking if we could do this one together." You pulled out a sheet, ' Liebesleid (Love's sorrow)- Fritz Kreisler' "Love's sorrow? Why do you wanna play that piece?"

"Cause you used to play it a lot when I was tiny, and this time we can play it together!" You giggled while Haley sighed happily.

"Alright, I'll get ready, don't fall behind now." She walked to the common room, where the piano sat. You ran after her, violin in hand, along with a wide grin.

As she sat down, you stood by the open window, a small breeze flowing through. "Remember, when you play, don't feel forced to follow the tempo. Music is to express yourself, I only hope you don't force yourself to play, my love." She gave a smile before starting to play, you playing right after. In the original piece, both instruments begin at the same time, however there was this small pause when your mother started where you managed to catch her soft smile. It was the only time you got to see her properly before you focused on your playing.

'I just hope that with this, you'll get used to sorrow.' Haley thought sadly.

You sighed as you picked up the instrument and bow, slowly placing it on the desk before closing the case. This competition wasn't supposed to be as big as those you've attended before, but at the sight of your name a few people were interested in seeing your reappearance, and your music.

You walked out, heading for the recording room, where you watched the current person on stage play. They seemed nervous and they were off tempo, it seemed that the accompanist was trying to let the violin shine.

"(Y/n) Hotchner? Right after this person you're up." A worker announced, as everyone's head perked at the last name. "Hotchner? They came back!"

You nodded at the worker before turning back to the multiple screens. Even though there were multiple people attending, you weren't able to spot your father, maybe the camera couldn't reach his seating.

The person on screen ended their playing, a few scattered applauses could be heard. They sheepishly bowed before quickly running backstage where their accompanist followed.

"It's your turn Hotchner, be there in 3." You heard the worker as you turned to walk on stage. Once you felt like you were ready you walked through the curtain and onto the stage, your accompanist following behind you.

You finally stopped walking, faced the audience and held your violin in its rightful position.

"Oh wow it's really them! I thought they dropped music completely!"

"I bet they're going to take this competition just like others, did you hear there's judges here!? This is a lifetime opportunity."

"Let's just enjoy the show, I've missed their music so much!"

You closed your eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Elohim, Essaim... Elohim, Essaim I implore you."

You struck 2 chords before starting the actual piece, Introduction et Tarantelle Op. 43

A minute into your playing you could hear the people murmuring.

"This is their playing? It's so plain, its like it's lost its spark."

"I expected the song to stand out, if they continue like this it's going to be just like everyone else's, painfully average."

'Their words don't matter. I don't care what anyone else says,' You brought your gaze on the audience, slowly looking for a certain spot. Seat 20! And just as you found said location, [video stamp 2:04] you slowed down your tempo, as if you were going to stop playing mid song.

Of course, it was empty

You felt your vision cloud and you repeatedly blinked, desperately trying to stop them from falling.

"(Y/n), kiddo, you know you don't have to do this." Your mother had a sympathetic look as she crouched to your height. "You're free to tell me you're not ready you know, it's brave to go on stage, but it's also brave to say you're scared."

You shook your head, "Nuh-uh! I've been practicing all this time. This is my first as an orchestral solist!! We've practiced and I'm ready, I promise mama!"

At age 9 you were already behind stage, waiting to play the assigned piece, Winter (L'lnverno) Op. 8 No. 4 F minor: Allegro Non Molto

You could say people envied you, being a young kid, and already being able to lead an orchestra. It was all fair, you managed to get into various competitions in such a short time because you practically devoted your whole freetime to practicing the violin.

Of course you enjoyed school, but not as much as the violin. You strive to get better, not only because of your enjoyment, but because you felt like you could connect better with your mother.

"Alright, remember, you're going to kill it kiddo. Enjoy yourself and play the way you want to be known as, not like a machine." She left a small kiss on your forehead as you turned around and went on stage happily.

Your felt the grip on your bow loosen and you immediately regained your composure. Whether it was the people's ill words or your bottled up emotions you took a deep breath and immediately sped up the tempo, catching the pianist off guard. [Time stamp 2:22]

"There it is!"

"Their playing is back!"

"They are gonna do it again, she's going to make this composition belong to them and them only."

"This is what I've been waiting for, the clash of an accompanist and a violinist."

You heard the audience cheer but you only shut them off. You glanced back at the accompanist, who only held a confused gaze, but at the sight of your smirk, they immediately regained their posture and chased after you.

So what.

So what if he's not here, you don't care.

You felt the tears fall and closed your eyes, your tempo neither increasing nor decreasing.

You never needed him, only her!

As your turn came to the end you finished the last note and strummed the violin, dramatically holding your bow in the air, panting out of breath. There was only a slight pause before the audience erupted into applause.

"WOOOOOOOO"

"THEY'RE BACK! THE (Y/N) HOTCHNER IS BACK"

"WE MISSED YOU!"

"YOU'RE AMAZING!!"

You were still out of breath when you put your bow down to your side before walking forward, bowing your head and walked to the exit.

"I've found the one."

Once you were out of the audience view you managed to place your violin on the bench but dropped your bow and fell to your knees, workers and competitors approaching you.

They all swarmed you but you only let out a happy sigh and laughed. The thrill came back and they all applauded you. You stood up, ignored your knees shaking and walked back towards the dressing room, placing your violin away and walking out of the backstage.

You sat down on a bench, watching everyone else. The other competitors were waiting for their results, just like you. Except they were waiting with their family, or friends.

You moved your gaze towards the floor, you didn't change out of the outfit you were because you had hope, hope that he would atleast be waiting.

You saw a figure loom over you and when you looked up you were shocked to see who.

"Spence?"

"Hey (y/n)! Glad I managed to find you, there's so many competitors I thought it would take me forever-"

"What are you doing here?" You cut off his rant, you weren't annoyed, rather you were happy to see him.

"Well I came here to cheer on my favorite musician, why else would I be here?" He waved a little flag that had, "go (y/n)" written on it.

"I'm honored! They're about to come out with the results, will you stay?" You stood up and hugged him, which he returned.

"Of course! I'm here to support you. A-and I also took a few notes of the piece you were playing. Did you know that-"

A swarm of people crowded the wall where a worker was setting up a paper, you beckoned Spencer to follow you. You walked up and pushed your way through, you could hear some sighs, some cries and even some celebration.

"(Y/n)......."

The letters to the right immediately lit your face.

"Mom-"

You turned back to meet Spencer, his eyes widening and your smile slowly faded.

"Spencer, I did it, I won first!" You declared with less excitement.

"That's insane! You definitely worked for it kiddo, get over here!" You walked towards him as he held you into a hug, surprisingly.

You smiled as you started to walk back to the bench you were originally sitting on. You grabbed your violin case and bag, debating whether or not to tell your dad the news.

Just as the both of you walked out the building you heard a small cough from behind you.

"Uncle Rossi!" You smiled brightly.

"How was my little niece! I saw you kick butt up on that stage!" He held you in a fatherly hug, one you needed. If you were to choose who to run to, Rossi would be the number one person. At the loss of your mother he was the one you'd turn to, as you didn't want to bother your dad, who was now a single father of two.

"U-um excuse me!" You felt a small finger tap on your back and you turned around, looking down at the small kid, who turned back to their, mother, who smiled at them.

"I-i just wanted to hand you these f-flowers! Y-your music was really a-amazing!" You took the bouquet of gladiolus from the kid's hands. You kneeled down and smiled softly, "thank you, they're very pretty." The kid quickly said welcome and ran back to their mother, who picked them up and told them they did great.

If that kid got a parent's recognition that easily, how come your father hasn't seen you yet.

"Looks like that kid beat me to it," Rossi handed you a (quite) larger bouquet of flowers, dahlias and camellias. You smiled, slightly struggling to carry all the items you held, but you were nevertheless happy.

"Did you know that kid (y/n)?" Spencer came up to you, grabbing onto your bag, you thanked him and shook your head. "I don't think so. I wonder why they gave it to me."

"Truth be told, I saw them in the beginning and they didn't have those flowers." You gave him a confused look, "What does that mean?"

He smiled and ruffled your hair slightly, "They probably ran to the closest place they could buy flowers after the show ended, all just for you."

You blinked, still confused but grateful, that atleast some people could enjoy your music.

"So how about dinner at mines?" Rossi offered.

"Are you sure? I think I'd have to ask my dad first-"

"Nonsense! You're basically my relative, if anything I'll just stick up for you."

"Oh then, I'd be honored." You lit up. It hadn't been long since you had dinner at Rossi's place, not that you minded, the food was always amazing.

"Great, it'd be a shame to waste all the food that was prepared already." He let out a small sigh, as he opened the door to the car. You walked in and he closed it, Spencer running to the other side to sit next to you.

________________

Once you arrived at the Rossi household mansion, you walked in and was greeted with a few confetti poppers. You jumped slightly, relaxing when you saw the rest of the bau team there, smiling.

"W-what are you guys doing here?" You smiled, for the nth time this day.

"We're here to celebrate, obviously, come on kiddo use that smart head of yours!" You heard a chuckle as a muscular arm draped over you.

"A little bird told us today was your competition and we watched it, you killed it by the way, and then ran over here to surprise you!" JJ sent a small smile at your way. You saw her as a mother figure, she definitely played a big role in getting over your slump.

Immediately a pink blur ran at you and you were held into a tight hug, which you recognized was Garcia.

"Oh my sweet bundle of joy you were amazing out there!" She pecked small kisses over your face, "I held back too much already you were just- words can't describe what I felt during your performance!" She hugged you tighter, if that was even possible.

"Alright baby girl, you're gonna kill her if you continue hugging her." You felt the hug fade away, while you enjoyed her hugs, they could be intense at times.

"I'm thankful for the support, and the surprise!" You thanked everyone, Rossi finally entering his place, with bouquets in one arm and your violin case in the other.

"Now for the best part, Rossi's cooking" Another voice rung through your head.

"Prenti- Emily." You entered into another hug, and you returned it. She backed away and took your hand leading you into the backyard, where a wonderful aroma hit your nose.

Multiple dishes, mainly Italian, sat nicely on the table, a few decorations adored the room, they were probably up by Garcia.

You sat in the middle of a side on the table, patiently waiting for everyone to sit down so you all could eat at the same time. When everyone was eating you sat still, your gaze looking over everyone who was either engaging into small talk or simply eating silently.

You felt the same emotion from the morning rise up, again you held it down, and started eating. Was it the nice atmosphere? Or maybe it was the small talk. No it was probably your imagination, right?

Why did this feel like a normal family dinner.

You finished eating what you could, got seconds if you wanted, and you thanked Rossi for the food, immediately running to the bathroom to wash your hands and ran back to the living room. Everyone looked confused when you came back in, a familiar case in hand.

You were still in your suit so better now than later right?

You stood by the glass doors that connected the backyard to the kitchen, a few small bulbs lighting up your small stage. You unzipped your case, pulling out your familiar instrument.

Rossi, who also had finished his food, stood by the piano, that seemed to almost be outside in a coincidence.

"During dinner, if it's okay, I would like to play a piece." You whispered the rest of your plan in Rossi's ear, who nodded along. He knew how to play the piano, not full protégé but he could follow the music sheet.

You looked at him, who nodded, as you held your instrument in a ready position.

"Elohim, Essaim... Elohim, Essaim I implore you."

You started to play, Rossi following after you.

Nocturne Op.9 No.2

You saw their faces light up at the source of the playing. The atmosphere seemed more cozy and they talked softer, as to enjoy the piece fully.

Your Uncle Rossi was able to keep up, and you didn't do anything out of the norm to keep the nice tone, maybe it was out of your style, but you also enjoyed playing what the composition was intended to sound like.

As the piece ended, you slowly bowed, and the table cheered, especially Garcia, who grabbed Spencer's hand that held the small flag and waved it around vigorously causing him to let out small protests.

You put your violin back in its case and you felt strong arms lift you up in the air, the moonlight shining brightly on the backyard, illuminating the flowers and the gazebo.

"I'm so proud of you kiddo!" Morgan smiled, and swung you around in the air, the cool breeze hitting you.

It was definitely the atmosphere, right?

You can't keep it down anymore.

A small tear rolled down, then another, and before you knew it you were clinging onto Morgan like no tomorrow, sobs echoing through the yard. The team immediately ran by your side, checking if you were injured, but you kept your grasp tight on Morgan, afraid of letting you.

"You're afraid aren't you?"

You looked at Prentiss with a confused gaze, it wasn't too much after your mother's death when she asked you this.

"Afriad of what?"

"Afraid of deep relationships. I know you don't like being profiled but you've tried to stop calling us by our first name. You've closed yourself off and I understand that but-"

"I'm not scared!" You immediately defended yourself, maybe hanging around profilers did have cons, you couldn't hide anything from them.

"I just ask that you try to keep with the first name basis, at least with me. Spencer already knows, I think it'd be easier to try with him too." She held your hand softly but you immediately recoiled from the touch.

"I'm not scared..."

"I know our jobs aren't the safest but, promise me you'll try?" She stood up, awkwardly cleared her throat and walked away, leaving you in shock.

"I'm scared." You sobbed out. You matured way too early, and your own father didn't notice much of it, in fact maybe he was relieved that you did. You didn't require much attention like Jack. Even then you were scared, of losing your father, or even the bau team.

After a few minutes of letting your bottled emotions out, you fell asleep, Morgan carrying you into a spare room in Rossi's house. Emily had briefed the team what you were dealing with an everyone felt sympathy, it was only a bit after 11 p.m when Hotch entered the yard, slightly out of breath, his hair messy, tie all crooked and a shocked expression, rarely ever seen.

"I got a call that, (y/n) is here." He fixed his tie and looked around the yard, just like he would search an unsub's area. His chest rose and fell quickly, lightly panting as he regained control of his breathing. He continued to walk, making sure to scan the area, trying to find something, anything that would alert him that his child was here.

"Yeah, the kids here." Rossi assured the disheveled man in front of him before crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow. "The real question is where were you?" He speaks in a stern tone, it's almost funny how he's the one acting like a father.

Hotch stares at the older man in disbelief. Why is he being questioned? He's the father looking for his child, can't they just tell him where they are? Hotch breaks from the eye contact, sighing as he runs his hand through his messy hair, removing the strands that fell in front of his face. He sighs once more, knowing he wouldn't win this without answering.

"I was with Beth, we had a date planned. Now where is my child." His voice was cold, but a small amount of panic laced his words. The team around him could only sigh, some seemed almost disappointed. Emily and Spencer sent each other confused looks, both communicating with their eyes.

"What, is it wrong to want to spend time with my partner when there isn't any work?" Hotch asked, almost offended. He too had a life outside of the BAU. Normally he was asked to take a break and now they want him to stay focused?

Rossi could only chuckle while the rest of the team looked at him. Spencer seemed to speak up, "Listen Hotch, we don't mind you spending time with Beth, we're all happy you finally are leaving the shell of yours." His tone seemed to become angrier.

"But when your child, (y/n), is having a competition, and goes out their way to also leave their shell, I expect you to be the first person there, not Morgan, Emily, everyone on this team." His words were laced like poison, and Hotch could feel it crawl through his veins and into his heart. His heart that suddenly felt a sharp jab at it.

"Do you know how much (y/n) stayed quiet about?!" Spencer continued. It was quite rare to see him so agitated. "Hey pretty boy maybe you should-"

"No. He needs to know Morgan!" He cuts off Spencer. "He needs to know how much (y/n) cried, how much they hid that their father never looked their way anymore!" He seemed quite affected by this, his own relationship with his father was also like this at one point. Then he just left.

"(Y/n) has been trying, struggling! They've tried to move on to no avail. Yes they've made a big step in attending a competition, something they quit. It would have meant a lot more to them to see their father there with them! They CRIED while YOU were having an AMAZING time with Beth."

It was quiet. Too quiet. The team stayed silent, the youngest in the team had just yelled at their boss but deep down they all were supportive of his words.

"Do you know their favorite food? Their favorite songs? How about their favorite color, their favorite book? What about their grades? Did you know they had over 6 panic attacks and was sent to the nurse at some point. Did you know that they always woke up after them, asking for their father?!"

Hotch stood there, like a deer in headlights, staring at Spencer as he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. How could he have forgotten? The few times you did speak was about the competition. Hell you even asked if you could take Jack that day but he refused, thinking you were just going to keep him home and Jack needed exposure to other people, even if it just was a babysitter.

"Sometimes, you act like (y/n) doesn't exist, and it shows."

Spencer sighed once more before walking , "I hope this is your wake up call, Hotchner." He bumped into Hotch on the way to the house, most likely on purpose as he went upstairs, most likely to go to your room to check up on you.

Hotch stares in front of him, dazed, in disbelief. Had he really not realized how much time had passed? He assumed you distanced yourself because you were growing up. He was quite happy, seeing that you didn't need as much attention as Jack but was he actually hurting you by allowing you freedom? He feels his throat swell as he clears it, slowly looking up at Rossi.

"Have I really been such a bad father? I-I thought I was helping them by giving them space. Have I actually been harming them?" How he hoped that the older man would dispute, telling him no, that he tried his best, but Rossi simply nodded

Had he really been that absent from your life?

"Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable." -William Shakespeare

a/n: First time actually finishing a post wooo. Any feedback would be appreciated. I do take requests, just not very speedy at doing them. I'll work on a abt me post and stuff. Hope you enjoyed, feel free to support me if you do it would mean a lot<3

#Criminal minds #Criminal minds fanfic #Jennifer Jareau #JJ #Emily Prentiss #Spencer Reid #Derek Morgan #Penelope Garcia #Aaron Hotchner #Hotch x child!reader #xchild!reader #Daddy Issues lol #Platonic #No fluff only angst #Live laugh love angst #angst?? #live laugh love angst #Idk how tags work

[rebeccccccaaa]

Poker Face!

_______________

Spencer Reid x Reader

:: It’s game night at Rossi’s, a little pasta al dente, poker chips from Emily’s place, and a little too much Italian red wine. Poker after hours becomes a new playing field when you and Spencer decide to finish your game of blackjack back in his place. ::

:: warnings :: smuttt! and super mushy gushy fluff, sex under the influence (both parties drank alcohol), strip poker (kinda you’re playing blackjack), afab!reader, no mention of contraceptives oops...

:: authors’ notes :: i didn’t realize until i finished the story that spencer probably has his own poker set, he’s literally from vegas; anyway thanks for all the love on my last fic too sweet, hope you guys enjoy this one just as much <3

WC~ 3.1 k

________________

“Ok, ok! That’s enough!” Emily shouted, swinging her glass around. 

“Careful, Prentiss. This carpet is fine Italian wool. Gifted from my first mother-in-law,” Rossi scolded, Hotch chuckling beside him. 

“You guys are relentless,” she continued.

“I can beat him, I know it!” you shouted, your eyes comically wide. 

“No shot, sweetheart. Reid is literally banned from every casino in Vegas, you think you can really beat him?” Derek commented.

“I may not be banned from Vegas casinos, but I never lose Blackjack,” you argued.

“Honey, you’ve lost eight games in a row!” JJ shouted, laughing and holding her stomach. 

“Nevermind that! I’m gonna beat you Reid, if it's the last thing I do,” you narrowed your eyes playfully at Spencer, who sat as dealer with a giant grin on his face.

“I hate to interrupt this incredibly captivating game of Blackjack, but I’m kicking you out. It's late and an old man’s got to get some rest,” Rossi interrupted, erupting a series of ‘Boo’s’ and groans. 

“Come on, come on. Call your DD’s, call your taxi cabs. Or if you want to stay, you can start washing the dishes,” he bargained. 

Suddenly, all at once, everyone stood up practically scrambling and giggling like kids to avoid cleaning up. Penelope, Emily, and Derek hopped into a cab and Hotch drove JJ home then himself considering he hadn't anything to drink that night. That left you and Spencer, lingering on the sidewalk nudging each other in a fit of giggles. 

“I assume you’re gonna take a cab?” he asked you.

“That’s the plan.”

“So we can share since I don’t live far from you. I’ll walk from your place,” he suggested. 

“Oh no, no. Look what I snatched when everyone started leaving,” you pulled out the briefcase of poker chips that Emily had brought for that night out of your tote, “We’re going to your place and finishing what we started.” 

“Oh boy, you have no idea how long it's gonna take. We’re gonna be up all night!” Spencer laughed, and you gasped. 

“You’re an asshole,” you shoved him, before calling a taxi.

You squeezed in the back of the cab, legs bumping against each other. You felt your skin light up, you’ve always felt a certain way about Spencer. I mean who wouldn’t? Well actually, not a lot of people. You always tried to hide the pangs of jealousy or your faces of reluctance whenever the women you were working with or interviewed on cases would flirt with him, unnecessarily albeit. This happened more often than you care to admit or notice. 

You walked into Spencer’s apartment, tossing your bag on the couch before falling to your knees and putting the briefcase on his coffee table. You opened it up and began shuffling the cards, quite intensely to make sure Spencer wasn’t going to cheat. You knew he wasn’t, his brain was too smart, but you did it for confidence instead. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” he asked from the kitchen.

“Whatcha you got?” you asked.

“I’ve got a couple of beers, probably a little old. Oh, I still have the bottle of wine that Rossi gave to us for the new year,” he told you.

“Oh! Bring the wine! We’ll drink the beers later,” you winked at him, “Let’s get the fucking party started.”

It was late into the night now. You lost count how many times you’d lost to Spencer already. Just a couple of hours passed, and the wine was almost finished. You and Spencer couldn’t stop laughing and wiggling around. As Spencer shuffled the deck, a request you made him do after every turn, you came up with a devilish idea. One that would definitely get you in trouble should the outcome be anything other than what you would hope. 

“Ooh,” you cooed, mischievously.

“What?” Spencer questioned.

“Oh, nothing, just had an idea,” you were smirking, or rather trying really hard not to burst into laughter. 

“This can’t be good,” he mumbled, shaking his head. 

“Why don’t we spice things up, shall we?”

“No, no way,” Spencer already knew what you were going to say. 

“Strip Poker!” 

“No!” he shouted, a big smile on his face contradicting his words.

“What, you scared? Scared that suddenly I’m starting to beat you and you’re gonna have to take all your clothes off?” you teased.

“No, I am a gentleman and I’m not gonna sit through watching you take all your clothes to prove a point,” he argued sassily.

“You are way too confident for your own good, Dr. Spencer Reid. You’re just chicken.”

“Ok, fine then. You dealer, or am I?” he asked, pouring the last bit of wine into your cup. 

“Why don’t you hit me this time,” you said. 

“You got it,” he responded, “Care to shuffle while I grab the beers?”

“Of course. About time we crack those open,” you smiled widely. 

Now sitting down, face to face. Staring intensely at each other for a moment, hints of mischief and amusement in both your eyes. As you shuffled the cards well, Spencer couldn’t help notice the way your eyes were practically sparkling in the warm light of his apartment. How soft your skin looked in the light too. He doesn’t know when it happened. If it happened just now, or maybe he’s always felt this way about you. 

Maybe it was those times where he felt a little more protective over you than the others on more brutal cases. The feeling of responsibility for you, to guide you, when you first join the team since you were the same age. Or maybe it was when you let him practically talk your ear off about peculiar facts regarding the case you had wrapped up. The small smile of your face knowing he thrived in these moments. The sweet giggle you let out when Morgan and Prentiss groaned knowing he would begin yet another tangent. 

Yeah, it was definitely then he realized how special you were and how much he wanted to keep you in his life; in more ways than one.

But in this moment, when you handed him the cards with the most devilish smirk on your face, Spencer felt a wave of avidity, longing for you more than he ever has before. He felt so conflicted about the game you were about to play. He respected you so much and yet craved to see you, to have you, in this very way for so long already. He didn’t know what to do. He dealt the cards however, entertaining the idea, and you tapped the table for cards before taking a big swig of your beer.

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, Spencer’s breath hitched. 

You took off your earrings first and Spencer quirked an eyebrow. 

“What? Were you expecting me to take off my shirt right away?”

“No,” he shrugged before giving you the deck to shuffle again. 

“I swear to-” you cursed, pulling off one of your rings this time.

Your shoes came off, then your socks. All your accessories were scattered on the table before you. The last game you stood up unbuttoning your pants. Spencer clenched his jaw, averting his eyes downward as you peeled your pants down your legs. It took quite literally everything in him to not drool over you. You sank back down to the ground, the bottom half of your body shielded by the table and Spencer looked back at you again. He dealt the cards. You asked for a card, and Spencer knew then you would lose. The probability was certain. When he hit Blackjack and you didn’t, Spencer gulped and you sighed in defeat. 

Staring boldly at Spencer, you disrobed your last garment that would give you some kind of modesty. Your bra is on full display with nothing else but your pair of underwear. You had a crucial decision to make if you ended up losing again and you were seriously considering that would be the case, the butterflies erupting violently in your belly. 

“We don’t have to keep going,” Spencer cleared his throat.

“And why would I do that?” Maybe it was the alcohol in your system that gave you this sudden courage, this seduction. You were starting to have fun seeing Spencer squirming on the couch, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. You suddenly wanted to egg this round on as long as you can. 

“Ok, then,” he muttered, as he dealt the cards, slowly this time.

Spencer had a face down card, assuming it was a value of ten like always, and an eight. You had a seven and a three, you were fucked. You needed an ace and you’d hit blackjack, or you could build up; but that’s risky. Maybe Spencer can go over. You had a chance, you know it. Your chest was moving fast and shallow, but your face was stoic and firm. Spencer on the other hand was antsy; his eyes frantic and his leg bouncing. You knew he was staring at your chest. You planned to use it to your advantage. Was it fair game? Yeah, yeah it was. It wasn’t your fault he was distracted.

“Hit me,” you egged.

“You got it,” he responded. 

A five. Fuck. 

Spencer hit himself and he drew a seven. Those are bad cards. He most likely went over and you might actually finally beat him. 

“One more time, boy wonder,” you snapped. A six. A beautiful six of hearts. 

“I stand,” he mutters, probably knowing he lost. 

“Let’s see those cards, baby,” you teased.

“You first,” he told you, and placed your cards. 

“Blackjack, baby!” 

Spencer laid his cards revealing his seven and eight and underneath a nine, he busted; the cards of course. You won, you finally won. You jumped up in celebration, prancing in your undergarments around the room giggling and cheering. 

“I did it! I fucking did it! I beat the boy genius, fair and fucking square! You lose Spencer, loser!” you shouted taunting him and he couldn’t help the smile painted in his blushing face; he almost forgot you were prancing around almost naked in the middle of his apartment. 

“I- I was distracted,” he shuttered. 

“Damn right you were,” you joked, squeezing your breasts to flaunt them in his face. 

“It wasn’t fair game,” he bantered.

“It wasn’t fair game, my ass. I won and you lost, and you’re being a sore loser,” you mocked as you walked towards him like a panther, playfulness and seduction dripping from your tongue. 

Spencer took the moment you walked near and grabbed your wrist yanking you to stumble into his lap. You were shocked, surprised, a little turned on. You held onto his shoulders, your breathing a little quicker than before. You tried to convince yourself it was from the celebratory dance and not the growing bulge from Spencer that poked you from beneath. 

“I told you, I was distracted,” he told you, his hands finding a place at their hips. Fingers caressing delicately the hem of your underwear. 

“Blah, blah,” you whispered.

“Don’t give me that.”

“Now, Spence, I believe there is something you have to do, is there not?” you whispered.

“What’s that?” he bantered.

“You lost.”

“Right, unfairly I might add,” he joked.

“If all you’re gonna do is talk, then let me do the honors,” you told him. 

“Be my guest.”

Your fingers pulled gently at his tie he wore, pulling over his head and tossing it to the side on the floor. You started unbuttoning his shirt, Spencer staring with heavy eyes at you as you did so.

“I thought we were only taking off one item. We should play another round then if you want my shirt off,” he teased you, bringing his hands to gently hold your wrists.

“Like that’s gonna happen,” you rolled your eyes playfully. 

Spencer relaxed against the back of the couch as you unbutton his shirt all the way. You brought your lips down to kiss softly at his collarbones and his shoulder. Moving along his chest to kiss the other side. His hands moved slowly against your hips, fingers sliding between the fabric of your underwear and your skin. Your skin erupted in chills, a tingle running through your spine making your ears feel hot. You dragged your nose along his strong jawline before nipping your teeth playfully against his cheek. 

He brought his hands up, fingertips tracing your spine until he reached your bra. He skillfully unhooked it leaving you a bit breathless for just a second but a second too long. You could feel it, without even needing to look at him, to know he had such a teasing smile on his gorgeous face. You wanted nothing more than to kiss it off him. 

You shrugged your bra off, tossing behind him giving him a playful wink which made him chuckle. You brought his hands to your breasts as you pulled his head towards you by the back of his neck to kiss him feverishly. Something you both had wanted to do for quite some time now. You wiggled your hips a bit, feeling the prodding against your center, which made Spencer groan lowly in the kiss; his hands squeezing your breasts hard in discomfort. 

“Fuck, you’re gonna drive me insane,” he told you.

“Let me say hi to your little friend, Spence. Or do you want to play for that too?” you taunted him.

“God, no. I couldn’t wait a whole other hour for you to beat me again,” he bantered making you scoff and roll your eyes; his hands shot straight to his zipper to pull his pants down just enough for the both of you. 

You were practically itching to get your panties off. Standing up suddenly, both you and Spencer reached instinctively to pull them off you, his lips attaching themselves to your soft belly and hips. He freed himself from the constricting fabric of his pants and pulled you down, or rather yanked you to him. You couldn’t help the bubbly laugh that came from you making Spencer smile blissfully. 

You bite your lip as you reach between your bodies, lining Spencer up against you perfectly. The warmth radiating from you was driving him crazy. It took everything in him to not suddenly take control and rut his hips against you. You sank slowly down on his length, not so little, you thought yourself.

“Oh jeez, I feel like I could come already,” you gasped, the pressure building in the pit of your stomach felt already overwhelming. Maybe it was the fact you hadn’t had sex in years. You felt starved of this kind of touch, this kind of intimacy. The kind of feeling of Spencer’s cold fingertips touching and gliding across your skin like you were glass. Yeah, that was the feeling you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t realize you craved so much until this very moment. 

“I’m a bit embarrassed to admit the same,” he chuckled breathlessly, “If you don’t start moving, I’m not gonna be able to hold myself back any longer.”

You took this as the green light to start rocking your hips back and forth. One hand resting against his cheek and the other stabilizing yourself against the frame of the couch. Spencer’s hands rocked with you, his way of helping and understanding the rhythm you were going. He started, with gaining confidence, to buck his hips into you and that’s when the pleasure began to build. You panted heavily above him, moans every now and then escaping your mouth to echo against the walls of Spencer’s small apartment. 

“Shit. You feel so good,” he breathed out, “I thought I’d last longer.”

“Please, please don’t come yet,” you begged; bringing your forehead to his. You could see his skin becoming shiny with sweat, his cheeks flush with redness. Spencer, determined to make you come before him, or at the very least with him, reached between your thighs rubbing fast and swift circles against your clit. Your hips jerked with pleasure and Spencer’s name dripped from your lips like honey. 

“Oh, that’s it,” Spencer whispered. His free hand came up and pulled you in a passionate and sloppy kiss. His tongue entwined with your and you moaned wildly as did he. His brain was fuzzy, not that your’s wasn’t also, with the sounds of sex, the rhythm of your hips, the warmth of your slick soaking his fingers. 

“I’m close, fuck I’m so close, Spence,” you whined.

“Let go, sweetheart.”

“Ngh!” you moaned loudly. You dipped your head forward resting your forehead in the crook of his neck. Your bodies were so close, your bare chests pressed against each other. You both could feel the other’s breath and slowly you began to match each other’s erratic rhythm the closer you got to your climaxes. You messily pressed your lips against Spencer’s one last time before the wave of electrifying pleasure overcame you. 

When you came down from your high, all you could feel and hear in that moment was Spencer. His soft pants brushing your ear, his arms cradling you close, his subtle leg shaking from what you assume was him also coming with you. 

“That was really good,” you giggled.

“It really was,” he agreed.

“I’m gonna tell everyone about this,” you whispered wickedly. 

“What?” Spencer questioned fearfully. 

“I beat you in Blackjack,” you reminded him, making him laugh loudly. 

“Give it a rest you would?” he sighed. 

“No way. I’m gonna tell everyone. And everyone’s gonna tease you because I beat you fair and square. Unless, you wanna admit that my boobs were distracting you from your card counting tricks,” you teased.

“Alright, you won fair and square,” he smiled blissfully at you, his eyes soft and gentle in the warm light.

You giggled sweetly bringing him in a tender kiss, definitely not for the last time that night. Your bodies were entwined for the rest of the night until the tepid sunrays peaked meekly through the curtains of Spencer’s bedroom window. The two of you sharing giggles between the sheets with his arms embracing you the way they had been all night. Needless to say, blackjack continues to be your favorite poker game. Especially now more than ever. 

#criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #mgg fluff #mgg x reader #mgg fanfiction #mgg smut #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

[confused-pyramid]

I’d Like to Think That You Would Stick Around | s6

pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader

summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.

word count: 15.5k

warnings: SMUT, oral (m!receiving), masturbation, canon!typical violence, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, guns, drinking, angst, specific episodes mentioned in this part are 6x06, 6x08, 6x17, and 6x18.

a/n: Sorry for the long wait guys, school has been kicking my ass, but here's the next part! We're getting a lot of angst this chapter, but we're so so close to the good times ;) Hope you enjoy! Title is from Love Song by Lana Del Rey

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Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You are talking to Prentiss across the bullpen, laughing about something he can't hear, and he's freaking out. He shouldn't have left that night. He knows that. He just didn't know what else to do.

Never mind the fact that he has no idea how much you remember.

When you bumped into him on the way out of the elevator this morning, he swears you jumped back, but then you smiled at him, and he was able to convince himself that it was all fine. So why does it still feel like you are avoiding him?

He can still picture the dark expanse of your pupils as you leaned in closer after stumbling into him; he can still feel the rush of your breath as your gaze met his and his fingers tightened on your hip.

He walks into his office, before sitting at his desk and dropping his head into his hands. His blinds are just shut enough that no one from down in the bullpen can see into his office, and he welcomes the privacy as he rubs a hand over his face and forces his eyes away from the photograph of the two of you on his desk.

'Aaron...'

Your voice had sounded so soft, so hurt-

He shuts his eyes again and tries to think about anything else (maybe even the paperwork he's supposed to have been doing for an hour now) but every time he blinks, he sees your face again.

He has suspected the shift in your feelings for a little while now, but that night at the bar confirmed something he isn't sure he's ready to handle. He feels it too - of course he does - but he can't think about it. He can't.

He's floundering with Jack, with trying to be there for both him and the team, and he just lost Haley. God, he just lost Haley, and the idea of losing you too because he fucks it up just like he did with her is unimaginable. They were together for decades - they had a child together - and still he couldn't give her what she needed. Your friendship means everything to him, and if he does something to ruin your relationship too, he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

He glances out his window and sees you still talking to Emily, both of your heads now bent down to look at an open case file. She says something to you, and your face lights up as you grin at her. Something that feels like lava pools in his gut and he swallows thickly as he turns back to his paperwork.

***

You head back to your desk and drop the case file down as you resist the urge to glance up at his office window. He hasn't looked at you once today, and you can't help it as your mind goes to the worst case scenario of losing him forever because of one stupid moment.

You had considered pretending that you don't remember anything from the bar, but he just left you there. That isn't something you can forget so easily, and even as you're trying to ignore it, you don't want to avoid him. But it isn't that simple.

You're simultaneously hurt and embarrassed, but it isn't even your own feelings that are at the forefront of your mind. You haven't been to his place in over a week, and you miss Jack and you miss him. You haven't gone this long without talking to him in years. 

Fuck.

***

Your quest to stay out of trouble results in you staying late at the office to get ahead on all of your work. Most nights you were staying even later than JJ and Aaron, but then JJ got sent to the DoD as a media liaison, and the work started piling up.

You did what you could to intercept some of the paperwork before it landed on his desk, especially since Jack was so close to starting preschool and you know Aaron wants to take any extra moment of face time he can get, but it wasn't a foolproof system.

That's why it's almost midnight after getting back from a case in Ohio, and Aaron's office light is still on. Knowing it's about time you broke the cone of silence you've been under, you walk up the stairs, giving yourself ample time to change your mind.

A minute later, you knock on his door, before pushing it open gently, waiting to see the look on his face.

"Oh, you're still here," he says, his eyes lingering on you for an extra moment before turning back to his work. "Come in."

You shut the door behind you and sit in the chair in front of his desk. It doesn't sink like it usually does, and it takes you a second to realize that he finally replaced it.��After all this time...

"Are you heading home soon?" you ask, trying to feign nonchalance. You can't remember the last time you overthought every single thing you said to him.

Yes, you do, your brain mocks you. A film reel of your awkward senior year of high school starts playing in your mind and one lone thought sticks out among the cacophony of memories. You loved him.

"Yeah, I'm almost done," he says with a sigh, his eyes still trained on his paper.

You frown. "Really?"

"No."

That surprises a chuckle out of you and you lean forward in the chair. It's stiffer than you're used to, and it creaks as you slide in closer. "Want any help?"

He shakes his head. "You should head home. It's late."

You don't say anything and when he finally meets your eye, you shoot him a look.

He sighs, begrudgingly handing you a stack of files. "With JJ gone, it's been a little hectic. I have to go through the new cases coming in, as well as completing the post-case paperwork."

"Shit," you whisper, not knowing what else to say. Even as you tried to cut down his workload, it wasn't even scratching the surface. "I didn't realize that was all on you."

"Yeah, for the time being," he shrugs, raking a hand through his hair to push it back, even as it bounces right back into place. "But it'll be easier when they bring us someone new."

That stops you in your tracks. "How new? Because you know I really liked Jordan, but she was too green for the BAU."

"Newer," he says, his voice tinged with amusement. "They're considering some Academy cadets who are finishing up their remedial training."

"Cadets?" you echo, your voice rising an octave. "They're babies."

"They're at least 25," he states, the corner of his lip twitching. "Besides, their remedial training would have been with the BAU, so they'll know what they're getting into."

They'll know what they're getting into.

It's not a dig, but the juvenile corner of your brain hangs onto his words, trying to make out some double meaning.

"That's some relief, I guess." You flip open the first file, trying to pay attention as you scan the brief, but it just reminds you of how much you miss JJ.

"She was so much better at this," you groan, flipping the page. "I'm not sure anyone can replace her."

"I'm definitely sure that no one can," Aaron says simply as he glances up at you, "but we'll take any help we can get at this point."

There's a layer of subtext behind his tone, and you don't know if you're equipped to decipher it right now, after being up for almost 24 hours. Nevertheless, you don't give in as he looks at you, refusing to break eye contact. 

Please be okay, your mind begs as the corners of his eyes crinkle. Please say I didn't fuck this all up.

His eyebrows raise slightly, checking in on you for the first time in so so long, and another thought takes over your mind. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Blinking away the thought, you nod, but you can't stop yourself as you clarify, "It's just a temp assignment, right?"

He finishes the sentence he was writing before looking up. "Yes. It's only temporary."

***

"Daddy, don't look at me."

Jack's voice filters out from his bedroom and he looks at Jess with a small laugh as she pretends to lock her lips and toss away the key.

"I'm not looking," he calls out. "Are you almost ready?"

There's a small sound of affirmation from down the hall, so he stands up from the couch and reaches for the little jack-o-lantern bag that Jack wanted to use for trick-or-treating.

When he looks up, his son is emerging from his room, dressed incredibly unlike the comic book character he wanted to be for Halloween.

"Whoa," Aaron says, his voice a low rumble. "That is definitely not Spider-Man."

Jack just shrugs. "He's not a real superhero."

"He's not?" He looks at his son again, trying to discern which superhero wears a suit. "Okay. I give up. Who are you supposed to be?"

The answer is immediate. "I'm you, Daddy."

Jess nudges his shoulder with a laugh before she walks forward and swings Jack into the air. "You look just like him, bud!"

He opens his mouth to add onto that sentiment, but his throat thickens with emotion and he has to clear his throat to get a word out. "You tied my tie so well." It's the best he can do with his eyes burning. All he wanted was for his son to feel safe and loved. Maybe I'm doing something right.

"Alright, buddy," Jess smiles, setting him down. "Grab your coat and shoes and we'll head out."

Jack runs off and she smiles at him again, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're a great dad."

"Thank you," he says simply, his lips curving up into a smile. She says it a lot, but for the first time in a while, he's finally starting to believe it.

Jess opens her mouth to say something, but she pauses for an extra second, piquing his interest. "I haven't seen Y/N around here in a little bit."

There it is. He should've seen it coming. "Yeah, she's just busy."

His words don't sound convincing, even to his own ears, and Jess shoots him a look to match. "I happen to know you quite well, Aaron. So if you're overthinking something you shouldn't be, let me be the first to say, you're being an idiot."

He lets out a surprised snort. "Thanks, Jessica."

"I'm just saying," she shrugs, tucking a strand of curly hair behind her ear. "I see things...and I know both of you, so it's not hard to read into things."

He takes a deep breath, pushing his hair back from his forehead. "It's not like that."

He expects her to push back, but she just presses her lips together and shrugs her coat on. "Either way, Haley saw it too...and she seemed happy about it."

Before he has a chance to fully process her words, Jack rushes out, barreling into him. "I'm ready!"

"Alright, my little G-man," he grins, pushing her words out of his head for the night. "Let's go get some candy."

***

Things have been shifting at the office. Ever since JJ left, the team has felt smaller, and with your unintentional (okay, maybe a little intentional) avoidance of Aaron, the office hasn't felt the same in a long time.

Everyone has been taking on more than they're used to, and when Penelope had to fill in for JJ in a press conference during your last case, you couldn't help but notice how she turned to Aaron for support whenever she felt unprepared.

Your curiosity about their shared secret was eating at you all day, until you received a mass email from him to the whole team. Re: Garcia's play, Tolgate Theater, 8pm

You didn't have any plans tonight anyway, and after long days in a seemingly endless rotation of slacks and blazers, you welcome the chance to dress up a little bit. It's not like you go out often (or at all) unless it's with the team.

Pushing to the back of your closet, you rifle through the longer dresses and gowns you own, before landing on a light green, silk number. It has a halter neckline that drapes loosely around your neck, and you haven't worn it since before Jeff died, because it always felt like too much.

But Emily messaged you after getting home with a photo of her dress too, and even though it may be a lot for a little neighborhood theater, you're excited about something for the first time in a long while.

After putting on the dress and doing your makeup a bit darker than usual, you grab your keys and head out.

~

He got to the theater a bit earlier than the rest of the team, mostly to apologize to Garcia and warn her about the onslaught of support she was going to be getting, but he also wanted to get there before you did, so he could save a seat for you beside him.

From an outsider's perspective, he imagines there wouldn't seem to be anything different or wrong with your relationship, but he has been feeling the frustrating tension between the two of you since that night out.

Speaking with Jess on Halloween felt like a welcome reprieve from his cycle of self-loathing, and he finally feels more free than he has in ages.

Emily, Derek, and Spencer arrive a short while later, and he points them toward the seats he booked out, before heading back to the lobby, where family and friends of the performers are milling around.

When Dave arrives, he's also dressed in a suit. "We certainly clean up nicely."

He coughs out a laugh. "I haven't pulled this suit out in years."

"Well, aside from the cobwebs," Dave jokes, brushing an imaginary piece of dust from his shoulder, "you look classy."

"Thanks," he smiles, patting the older man's arm. "You should head inside. We're sitting about halfway up."

"You coming?" Dave asks as he steps around him.

Aaron shakes his head, glancing back at the door again. "I'm going to wait for...everyone to get here. I'll meet you inside."

He nods, before smacking his shoulder once and walking into the theater. When Dave's out of sight, he turns back around and pulls his phone out, trying to look busy.

He scrolls through a couple of his latest emails before tucking his phone away. The front door of the theater opens then, and when he looks up, all of the air leaves his lungs.

It feels like the world is moving in slow motion as you glide inside, your dress billowing down as the breeze from outside settles. You look incredible, and he feels like a teenager again, when he was so in love with you he couldn't breathe.

He watches you glance around, clearly searching for a familiar face, so he walks up, approaching you slowly to give you time to notice him.

"Oh, hi!" you say, your lips curving up into a smile as he tucks a hand into his pocket. "Am I late?"

"Not at all," he says, hating how strained his voice sounds. "The play starts at the top of the hour."

"Perfect," you smile, removing your shawl from your shoulders and folding it in your hands. "You clean up well, by the way."

There's a slight tinge of humor in your voice, and you're looking at him expectantly, likely waiting for him to lead you to the seats, but he can't move. He's terrified of what he's feeling, but you look amazing, and he's surrounded by people he doesn't know, so he doesn't overthink it as he reaches out and slips a hand onto your waist.

You clearly aren't expecting it as he pulls you in closer, his fingers sliding across the silkiness of your dress. You smell like flowers, and he can't help himself as he leans in to press a kiss to your cheek. "You're beautiful."

Reality doesn't set in until he lets you go. Your cheeks are slightly flushed and he can't think straight, but the moment you step away from him and head to theater doors, the fog clears.

What is he doing?

The rational part of his brain takes over and he mumbles a curse under his breath before jogging forward to follow you inside. At least for the time being, he has the play to cover himself, but when morning comes, and brings with it the harsh light of day, he's fucked.

***

His skin is burning. The temperature in his office feels like it has been turned all the way up, but even as he undoes his cufflinks and rolls his sleeves back, the heat doesn't abate.

He is loosening his tie when his office door opens, revealing you in your rumpled button down and slacks. He opens his mouth to ask why you're still here, but before he can get a word out, you're shutting the door behind you and locking it.

"What are you doing?" he asks as you saunter over to him, stepping around his desk and pressing your hands to the armrests of his chair. "Y/N, it's late-"

"Shut up," you say firmly, twisting his chair toward you with a strong pull. He moves to get up, but you push his shoulder down to keep him in his chair.

He already doesn't know what to say, but every thought leaves his brain as you sink down to your knees before him.

"Don't move," you whisper, your eyes glinting up at him as you deftly undo the buckle of his belt and yank his pants open. "I'm in charge now."

He lets out a gasp as you tug his pants down in one go, and before he can do anything, your fingers are on him. Your lips curve into a smile as his breath hitches, and even with the thin fabric of his boxers between you two, the sensations coursing through him feel so magnified and new.

He is already hard as a rock, and you've barely even touched him. Teasingly slow, you pull his boxers down, watching as his cock springs free from the confines. Without wasting another second, you run your tongue up his length, and he grits his teeth to keep the groans in his throat from spilling out.

Your lips slowly close around his tip and the wet heat makes his head fall back as he tries to calm his breathing down. His chest is heaving like he just went for a run, but when you hollow your cheeks around him, he can't keep the moan inside. He loses control for a moment as he reaches forward to grasp onto your hair, but that only seems to spur you on, as you bob your head even faster.

The wet sounds of your mouth sliding over his cock fill the office, and he clutches his armrest with one hand and uses the other to guide your head.

He's already so close, and the soft grip of your hands on his thighs aren't helping as he tries to hold off, to prolong this feeling. At the last second, you swirl your tongue around the tip, and he chokes out a gasp, but then-

His eyes fly open to the lonely darkness of his bedroom. The room is warmer than it usually is, and his skin feels sticky with sweat under his covers. His mind, on the other hand...

He doesn't remember every moment of the dream, but the message was clear enough. His boxers are still tight from the memory, and he tries as hard as he can to think about anything else, but he keeps going back to the image of you, in front of him, kneeling-

Throwing the covers off, he sits up quickly and climbs out of bed, needing to clear his head in the only effective way he knows of. He shrugs his clothes off on the way to the bathroom, and he turns the shower on, making the water steaming hot, before stepping inside. The steam fogs up the glass around him, but he can still see the bare outline of his shame in the mirror across from the shower.

But now isn't the time, not with his skin burning and his cock pulsing in his hand. He pumps a few times as the hot water cascades over him, trying to set a rhythm, but it doesn't feel right. He keeps nearing the edge before the wave pulls back, and he lets out a soft groan in frustration as he presses his forehead to the glass.

Just once, he thinks as he grips himself again, his mind shifting back to his dream. Only this once.

His brain fills with the images from earlier: you on your knees, your mouth warm and wet over him, the pinpricks of sweat across the swells of your chest where your shirt was unbuttoned. He pictures your mouth as he ruts into his own hand, pretending, wishing, it was you instead.

It only takes a few more pumps before he finishes, spilling onto the white floor of his shower. The energy leaves him as he slumps against the wall, twisting the knob to a cooler setting, before shutting it off completely.

He still has a few more hours of sleep left before he has to get up for work, but he spends all night tossing and turning in the wide, empty expanse of his bed.

***

"What do you think he meant?"

"Maybe it's like a new manual, or guidebook."

"What are you two on about?" You walk up to your desk and slump down into the chair as Emily and Spencer look up with meek smiles.

Spencer is the first to crack. "We were discussing what Hotch might have meant by a 'different tactic' to solve this case in New Mexico."

You frown. "The gated community one? I thought Dave was just flying over ahead of us to get a head start."

"Nope," Emily shakes her head, before turning around. "He's in Hotch's office right now."

You look up just as Aaron and Dave exit the office and begin their descent down the stairs. Dave is ahead of him, with a big smile on his face, as he pushes past all of you.

It's only after you turn around that you realize who he's looking at. The woman he pulls into a hug is young - Academy cadet young - and she's pretty too.

"Ashley!" Rossi exclaims as he lets her go.

Hotch walks up behind them and shakes her hand. "Agent trainee Seaver is on loan to us from the Academy."

He introduces her to each of you, and you reach forward to shake her hand, a big smile on your face. After he told you that the bureau was considering someone new, you have had your guard up, but you don't want to make a bad impression in case she's here to stay.

"It's great to meet all of you," she says with a meek smile.

You pat her shoulder before walking past her to speak with Aaron about whether Seaver was the the new addition he was talking about. But when you lift your hand to get his attention, he turns away without looking at you, and leads Rossi out of the bullpen.

~

In the New Mexico gated community where three women have been murdered so far, Emily and Derek split off to check out the last crime scene, so you stay with the rest of the team and Seaver at one of the model homes to go through the evidence.

You can't help but notice how Spencer's eyes keep flitting over to the new girl, and a grin crosses your lips as you nudge his shoulder later.

"You totally have a thing for the new girl."

"Wha-what, no?!" he sputters, his face twisting into an unconvincing frown. "I don't even know her."

You just shrug. "You can still think she's pretty."

"That's irrelevant," he mutters, nudging you back and grabbing one of the files in front of him. "Do you think we can trust the local police?"

"I don't know," you sigh, letting him change the subject. "We definitely can't rule them out, especially in a community as clustered as this."

You glance across the room to Aaron and Dave, who are standing hunched over a laptop with the local detective. They're brows are all equally furrowed, and Aaron looks so focused you doubt he would hear you if you yelled his name right now.

Dropping the file onto the counter, you step around Reid and walk over to the trio, listening in as they start speaking.

"You interviewed every adult male in the community?"

The detective nods. "More than once. They're all digitized."

Aaron glances up as you approach, but when he realizes who it is, his eyes dart back to the screen. His eyes meet yours for the briefest of seconds, and he sees a frown cross your face out of his periphery. Fuck. He has to be more careful. You're a fucking profiler, for god's sake.

"Were all the interviews confrontational like this?" you ask as you come up beside him. He can feel the warmth of your arm inches away from his, and he leans his weight to the other side, trying not to think about his dream while you're standing this close to him.

"Is that wrong?"

Rossi raises his eyebrow. "You didn't get much out of them, did you?"

The detective shakes his head before skipping to the next interview, and everyone leans in closer to get a better look. With four of you surrounding the screen, it's harder to see, and when you press your hand to his shoulder to balance yourself, he all but flinches back from your touch.

The movement is harsh enough that everyone but the detective notices. His eyes fly to you as shock and confusion cross your face, and before anyone can say anything, he mutters something that sounds like 'sorry' before rushing out of the model home.

~

You're chasing after him the moment he's out of sight. Dave reaches forward to catch your arm but you shake him off, rushing out of the house and onto the street, which has been cleared by the local police since you arrived.

"Aaron!" you call out as he walks ahead of you, his hand raking through his hair. To his credit, he comes to a stop the moment he hears your voice, and you catch up to him quickly, stopping just short of him on the sidewalk. "What is going on? I thought we were okay?"

His eyes close for a beat, before his face hardens into a steely calm. You can no longer pretend like everything's fine. It hasn't been for a long time - not since the bar, and maybe even before - but you've always been good at compartmentalizing what you don't want to feel. With your mom, and Jeff, and Haley, you could push down the hurt until it dissolved into your bloodstream, spreading everywhere. It wore you down and thinned you out, but at least it wasn't overwhelming.

Looking at him now - your best friend, the man you...love. Your breath catches in your throat and he shakes his head, not looking at you. "What do you mean, Y/N?"

You wish you could keep pretending, like he seems to be able to, but it's just not fair anymore. Not to him, and especially not to you. "No, don't do this. Don't act like I'm the only one who sees how wrong this has been for the last few months. I used to talk to you everyday, Aaron. We've barely spoken in weeks!"

His face cracks for a moment and you see the glimmer of pain in his eyes before the wall comes up again. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" you yell, your tone more forceful than you expect. "What are you sorry for, Aaron?"

He looks at you then, the facade falling away as your words sink in. The lines of pain and tension settle in and you're almost relieved that he's finally showing you the truth instead of hiding away what he's feeling. But then the despair returns as his lips thin into a line, unable to answer your question.

"What," you repeat, your words tinged with malice, "are you sorry for?"

He whispers your name softly, like it's an apology on it's own, before using his next words to tear you to pieces. "Don't make me say it."

A soft gasp leaves your mouth and you involuntarily take a step back, like he's slapped you in the face. He runs a hand over his neck and a sudden feverish anger rushes through you as you shake your head, blinking back tears. "Don't do that. I know it's not just me, Aaron. It's not-"

"Please," he whispers suddenly, cutting you off. "Please don't do this."

It's almost like he's begging you, and you jerk back, unable to look at him. Men have hurt you before, in so many ways, but nothing has ever cut deeper than this. You don't think your bullet wound hurt this much, and at least then you had him to support you. Now you're all alone.

The aching heartbreak hits you all at once and you brush a loose tear off your cheek before turning around and leaving him out on the sidewalk, watching you walk away.

***

"Something's up."

Penelope bumps Emily's shoulder to grab her attention. After a second, she looks up from her desk. "What was that?"

"Something," Penelope repeats, her eyes darting back and forth between you and Aaron, "is up. Y/N and Hotch haven't looked at each other in like four days. Earlier, she was talking to someone on the stairs and he literally walked out of his office and then back inside again."

Emily looks at her. "Are you sure you aren't reading into anything?"

Penelope shoots her a look that can only mean 'you're kidding, right?' "They're inseparable. Something must have happened in the last few weeks that we don't know about."

Before she can stop her, Penelope stands up and barrels over to you, with Emily on her heels like an owner who just dropped her dog's leash.

"Y/N!" Penelope calls out as she approaches you. You look up from your desk with a frown, before your face breaks into a forced smile that both of them can see through immediately. "We wanted to catch up."

You glance at Emily, who shrugs, earning a look of chagrin from the other agent.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" you ask, your forehead crinkling in a manner reminiscent of your boss.

Penelope pauses for a moment, like she's trying to think. "Uhh, I'm not sure. Maybe about...you and Hotch?"

"Subtle," Emily mutters under her breath as your face scrunches into a confused frown. "She just means that you two have seemed kind of off lately, and we were wondering if everything was okay."

You press your lips together, unsure of how to broach this topic, even with some of your closest friends. "It's nothing."

That pulls a frown from both of them, and you sigh, doubling down on your feigned nonchalance. "It's really nothing, guys. I just...can't see him right now."

You turn back to your work and Emily and Penelope share a look, twin realizations clicking in both of their minds. They rush back to Penelope's office, and Emily shuts the door behind them, before they both blurt out something that sounds like: "We all know what's going on here."

"We have to make him jealous," Emily agrees with a nod.

She pulls open her desk drawer and pulls out her address book. "I have just the thing."

***

"I messed up, Haley."

The ground is hard from the chilly December air, and he sits uncomfortably on the familiar granite bench before her grave. There is a bouquet of dried-up flowers leaning against her headstone, and he doesn't have to think too hard to figure out who they're from.

"I'm trying not to," he whispers, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets to warm them up, "but I keep messing up."

A cool breeze wafts over him and the rustle of the nearby trees feels like an acknowledgement. Like she's really listening.

"She hates me," he sighs, his chin dropping to his chest as he shuts his eyes. The wind picks up slightly, and it's like he can hear Haley's voice in his head. She doesn't hate you. She's hurt.

"I know." He runs a gloved hand over his face, the cold sending a small shiver through his body. "It's my fault. I just don't know what to do or how to fix it."

Her reply in his mind is almost immediate.Yes you do.

He shakes his head, feeling like an idiot for talking to himself, even though it's helping him work through his emotions. "I don't. I really don't."

For a few moments, all he can hear is the rustle of tree branches and the low whistle of the wind blowing around the headstones. You have to tell her how you feel.

His chest tightens and he lifts his face, letting the cold air sting his skin, like some kind of penance. "Don't you think I want to? Every time I look at her, I'm terrified it's going to come out, but I can't say it." He takes a deep breath as the words start to flow out. He hasn't said them out loud to anyone, but right here feels like the safest place to let them out. "I love her."

Three simple words and it's like a weight lifts off of his chest. He still doesn't have the answers, but at least he can admit it to himself.  "I'm in love with her, Hales. The only person in this world that I love more is Jack."

He can practically see her smile as he glances down at her name etched in stone. Then what's the problem.

"I'm gonna fuck it up. I always do." The words come out before he has a chance to think, almost like they've been sitting on the tip of his tongue for ages. He looks down at the ground again, imagining her sitting in front of him. "I did with you."

This time, his mind doesn't have the answer for him. He's finally in a good place with his son, and with the addition of Seaver to the team, his work load has been marginally cut back, so he doesn't really have an excuse anymore. It's just his fear of losing one of the only good things in his life that keeps holding him back.

But you're already losing her. 

It's his own voice berating him this time, instead of Haley's. 

You're trying so hard to hold her at arm's length that you haven't even noticed that she has stopped pushing her way in.

The wind rushes over him and he looks at the headstone again, his eyes tracing over Haley's name one more time, before he stands up and walks back down the hill.

***

Dave's annual new year's eve party has always been a fairly large spectacle, but when Aaron leads Jack up his driveway that evening, the sheer number of (expensive) cars lined up outside is nearly staggering.

He knew it wouldn't just be the team here tonight, but he wasn't expecting the sheer scale of the party, especially while his mind has been so pre-occupied with the prospect of seeing you outside of work for the first time in weeks. 

The front door is unlocked when they reach the top of the porch, so he carefully pushes it open and leads Jack inside. He's only an hour late, but the hallways are already crowded with groups milling around, having loud conversations with a drink in their hand.

He doesn't recognize anyone until he gets to the kitchen, where he sees the rest of the team (minus Dave) chatting around a small snack table.

"Y/N!" Jack shrieks when he sees you, letting go of his hand immediately and running forward. You turn at the sound of his voice, and your face breaks out into a wide smile as the boy barrels over and throws his arms around you.

"Jack-o-lantern!" you gush, lifting him up and hugging him, your eyes falling shut as you squeeze the boy tightly.

Any onlooker can tell that his son loves you. For a while after Haley's death, Jack was closed off to every female figure in his life - even Jess - but he never shied away from you.

I love you, a voice in the back of his mind whispers as you set Jack down and press a kiss to the top of his head. I love you I love you I love you.

~

After Dave returned from the back patio and whisked away Aaron and Jack to meet some of his other friends, you loitered around the kitchen for a while, chatting with Derek and Spencer about their resolutions for the new year.

You're refilling your glass with some diluted punch when JJ and Emily sneak up behind you with matching mischievous expressions. 

"What did you guys do?" you ask, gulping back some punch in preparation for whatever they're about to spring on you.

"There's someone we want you to meet," Emily grins as she reaches forward to loop her arm through yours.

"Oh, no way," you say, already shaking your head before they can elaborate. "You are not setting me up with some random bureau guy again."

"That was only one time," JJ pouts, before beckoning to the hallway across from the kitchen. You glance over her shoulder and spot Will standing with a man you've never seen before. "I had Will bring one of his single friends tonight. He's an architect, and he's super smart and super cute. Totally your type."

You raise an eyebrow as you inspect the man from across the room. He's definitely easy on the eyes, but he's also not your type. There's only one man who fits into that box.

"I don't know," you sigh, setting your glass down on the table behind you. "It's very sudden."

"C'mon," Emily urges, her eyes glinting with amusement. "It'll be good. Just talk and flirt a little, and if you're into it then you have a new year's kiss locked up!"

Kissing someone you just met in front of all of your colleagues sounds like nightmare fuel, but you can't think of another way to get your friends off your back. "Okay, fine, I'll meet him."

~

After leaving Jack with Henry and the other children, he heads back into the main section of the house, hoping to run into you. He doesn't know what he would say if he does, but anything is better than the avoidance game you've been playing.

He sees Penelope and JJ first, but you're not with them, so he continues forward, deftly stepping around throngs of people conversing in little pockets around the house. 

"Hotch, over here!"

He whips around to find Derek, Will, and Dave waving him over to join them in the kitchen. He grabs a piece of cheese off a platter on his way over, and Derek pats him on the back when he reaches the three of them. 

They return to their prior topic of conversation, and he tunes them out as his eyes dart around the room, still looking for you. He's about to give up when he spots the familiar hue of your hair down the hall. His lips curve up in a small smile as he watches you lean your head back with a big laugh that he swears he can hear even from all the way over here. He's about to excuse himself from the guys when a hand reaches out to gently touch your forearm, and you don't shake it off.

It's only then that he notices the man you're talking to, and how enamored he looks as you burst into another bout of laughter. Something that feels like ice settles in the pit of his stomach and he turns back to the guys just as they notice what he's been looking at.

"They seem to be hitting it off," Will grins, crossing his arms over his chest. "My friend's a good guy, and he mentioned wanting to meet her after they crossed paths at one of me and JJ's dinner parties."

He notices Dave glance at him out of the corner of his eye, but he can't bear to look at the older man, for fear that he'll give something away. Aaron feels the nauseating pit of jealousy in his stomach, but it's not fair. He pushed you away.

He turns away from you and tries to focus on literally anything else, but it's not long before he's unable to fight the urge to look at you from his spot in the kitchen. You can't see him watching you, and it gives him the obscurity he needs to observe you from afar, but it also makes it much more conspicuous to his friends.

You don't leave the company of Will's friend until much later in the night, and soon it's almost midnight. The countdown starts as everyone in the house lifts their glasses and latches onto their significant others.

"Ten, nine, eight..."

He's turning before he knows what he's doing. He can't help it, it's almost magnetic, the pull you have on him. 

You're not looking at him, and he can only see your side profile as you glance up at the clock as it ticks down.

"Five, four, three, two..."

He turns away at the last second, unable to stomach the thought of you kissing someone else, but when the crowd erupts into cheers, he looks back to find that you're gone. His heart rates spikes and he pushes through people, ignoring the pats on his back as people wish him a "Happy new year". 

He eventually spots you through the back windows, and he steps out into the frigid air to accompany you on the back porch steps. You're sitting on the top step, your bare arms wrapped around your body for some semblance of warmth, and for a moment, he can't move.

He can't decide if he should go to you or let you have the space you so clearly wanted, but then a voice in the back of his skull yells at him through all the noise. She's your best friend in the world. A few months ago, the answer would have been obvious.

A switch flips and he steps forward, sliding off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders. You let out a soft sigh as he sinks down next to you, and he watches as your eyes glisten in the lamplight. 

You don't look at him as you press your elbows into your knees and rub a hand over your neck. "How did this get so fucked up?"

He sighs too, a heavy sound. "I don't know." 

He's still looking at you, at the tears in your eyes, when you finally take a deep breath and turn to face him. A tear slips down your cheek and his brain fires off sparks again. I love you, I love you, I love you.

He wants to say it so badly, but then the newest factor in all of his confusion jumps back into the forefront. The Pakistan assignment. He has been trying to push it off, but he's getting so much pressure from the brass, and that's just one more thing he's hiding from you. 

He breaks your eye contact and you let out a slow breath, almost like you felt him lose his nerve in real time. Without another word, you wipe the tears from your face and stand up, leaving him out in the cold once again.

***

The bureau gives you a week off at the start of the new year, but you can't enjoy any of your alone time. Every second you let your mind wander, your thoughts are invaded by the look on his face as he turned away from you. 

You had seen it in his eyes out there, in the freezing cold air as the clock struck midnight. At least a small part of him felt for you the same way you felt for him. But it's not enough.

You've been alone for so many years. When you married Jeff, you were done. You didn't think you'd have to ever feel this kind of heartbreak again, but now that you feel that kind of love again, you refuse to settle for anything less than what you deserve. And what you deserve is someone who can show you how he feels. 

Nevertheless, you can't control your subconscious. 

That's why you're laying in bed at the end of the week, staring at your nightlight across the room and somehow managing to simultaneously miss him and hate him. It's well past midnight and you can't sleep, but you don't want to give in to the urge that's been tugging at your gut all night. 

You're so angry with him, but he's also the only person you want to talk to when you're feeling anything you can't explain. It only takes another minute before you're giving in and snatching your phone off your bedside table.

It rings for a long time before he finally answers. 

He whispers your name softly, his voice gravelly as though he just woke up. He sounds confused, but it has to mean something that he answered his phone at this hour.

"Are you okay?" Aaron asks, his voice still a bit gruff from the tiredness. "What's wrong?"

I miss you, you want to say. Instead, you panic and ask the first question that pops into your head: "Why do you think The Beatles broke up?"

The line goes silent for a moment before he sighs quietly. "Everyone blames Yoko but you know I think they just stopped working well together creatively." 

"It was probably Lennon deciding to leave the band," you say, unsure where you're going with this. "Yeah, that makes the most sense."

"Maybe," he says, his voice a low hum.

There's no tinge of impatience or irritation in his tone, but you still feel awful for waking him up in the early hours of the morning to chat about a band. 

You take a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for what you're about to say, but the breath catches in your throat as a small sob escapes. "I'm so mad at you."

There's a pause on the other end of the line, before Aaron exhales sharply. "I know."

Your resolve fades almost immediately and you sink back into your pillows. "I'm not mad at you." He quietly huffs out a laugh, but you can tell his heart isn't in it. "I'm hurt, and yeah, I'm kind of mad at you, but the only person I want to talk to is you."

You can hear his breath stutter over the speaker, and he rears up to say something, before thinking better of it. "It's late, Y/N. You should go to bed."

"Yeah," you say eventually, rubbing tears of frustration from your eyes. "I'm sorry, yeah."

"No," he says quickly, his voice hurried as though he's afraid you'll hang up. "Don't apologize. I'm glad you called."

Your heart flutters pathetically. "Okay."

"Why were you up anyway?" he asks after a moment.

You shrug, even though he can't see you, wiping away the last remnants of your tears. "Couldn't sleep."

Something that sounds like a quiet chuckle floats into your ears. "Try turning off that massive nightlight."

Your eyes widen and you inadvertently glance over at the beacon of light plugged in across the room. "What nightlight?"

He hums again. "Goodnight, Y/N." I love you.

"Goodnight, Aaron." I love you too.

***

It started when Emily arrived late to the briefing. She was never late, so that itself was enough to set off your alarms, but then you noticed her fingers. She's biting her nails again.

Aaron finishes briefing you all about the two families murdered in house fires in the DC area, before you disperse and head back to your desks to read up about the evidence.

When you drop your bag down and sink into your chair, you don't miss how Spencer visibly flinches in his seat, his eyes twitching with exhaustion.

"Sorry, Spence," you say earnestly, turning to him with an anxious look. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he answers quickly, his eyes darting back down to the case file. "I'm... I'm...I'm sure these victims overlap somehow. Garcia pulled their phone numbers, but so far I can't find anything."

You've been working with him long enough to notice when he's deflecting, especially when he's doing such a bad job of it. "Spencer, you just jumped."

He takes a deep breath and you're suddenly grateful that his shorter haircut allows you to get a better view of his expression, even with his head down. "I've been having these really intense headaches lately." "Have you seen a doctor?" you ask, sliding your chair in to get a better look at him. "Yeah, a few. None of them have been able to figure it out." "I'm sorry," you say genuinely as guilt and shame flood your veins. You've been so preoccupied with your own drama that you haven't been paying any attention to your friends. First Emily, and now Spencer. "Does anyone know?"

His lips press into an adorable line. "You." "I won't tell anyone," you assure him, your eyebrows scrunching down. "I'm glad you're telling me now." "I know," he nods. "I just didn't want you to worry."

"I won't make a big deal out of it," you tell him, your lips curving up in a playful smile, "if that's what you were worried about."

"Thanks," he mutters, but you can tell his heart isn't really in it.

It's been so long since you sat down and caught up with your teammates, and given how weird Emily has been acting, you figure it's about time. 

~

"Have you noticed anything off with Emily?"

It's Penelope who comes to you first about the change in your teammate's disposition. You had clocked the small jab Emily had thrown at her after the briefing, but didn't want to intrude in case it was personal. You're starting to realize it might be a lot more personal than you originally thought.

"I have," you say simply, glancing back at her across the bullpen. Her head is down and her shoulders are hunched forward as she quickly types something out on her phone. 

She waits for another moment before jolting upright and standing up. Before either of you can get a chance to ask what's wrong, she is jetting off to the bathroom.

"I got this one," you tell Penelope before strutting off to follow her.

She's looking at her phone again when the bathroom door shuts behind you, and you approach her slowly so as not to spook her. "Hey, I just wanted to check up on you. You sped out of there."

"I'm fine," she says, trying to brush away your worry with a wave of her hand.

You frown, taking a step forward. "Are you sure? I noticed you've been biting your-"

"Don't profile me, Y/N," she snaps, her head turning to level you with a glare that would have scared the shit out of you if you didn't know her so well. It doesn't last long though, and before you can get another word out, she's already apologizing. "I'm sorry. I-I'm gonna be alright. I promise. I'm just having this nightmare."

She details her dream to you, and the profiler in you can't help but relate it to her own lack of trust, but then she looks at you with a genuine smile and you just have to smile back.

"Somehow, you.." she pauses for a beat. "You always make me feel better. I don't think I've ever thanked you for that."

Her words feel so final, like she's saying goodbye, and a bolt of terror shoots through you before you decide you're being dramatic.

She's your friend. She's gonna be alright.

~

Emily's gone. She slipped out during Aaron's multi-agency task force briefing, and none of you noticed.

How could you not have noticed?

You're kicking yourself as Spencer pulls out a sheet of paper from one of Emily's contacts, with a list of undercover names all with the initials L.R. 

"Prentiss is the last name on the list," Rossi deduces as you mentally check back into the conversation. Your eyes scan the board with the name 'Lauren Reynolds' written at the top. "That means she's on Doyle's list too."

"Guys," Aaron calls out from Emily's desk, holding up her things in his hands, "she left her badge and gun."

"Why would she do that?" Penelope asks, her voice small like a child's. "We're her family."

That's when you finally find your voice. "She ran to protect us." You turn to Aaron then, your eyes flashing over his like it's the first time you've ever really looked at him. "How do we find her?"

"We need to profile their behavior," he instructs, moving to the front board. "Doyle is our unsub and Prentiss is our victim. We treat it like any other case." 

There's the small sound of a door opening and Aaron looks up, beckoning his chin to the back. "Because terrorism isn't an area we specialize in, I've reached out to an expert from the State Department...someone who can also shed light on Prentiss' past."

You whip around to the sight of a familiar head of blonde hair walking into the briefing room. The tension in your shoulders abates for a split second as gratitude cascades over you. God, you missed her.

JJ saunters forward and nods at each of you, her expression already rigid with concentration. "Let's get to work."

~

Profiling Emily takes you all to Boston, where the evidence from the previous victims adds up to the conclusion that Doyle is a family annihilator. When you also find out that he has a secret son, you and Derek lead the team to the warehouse where the son was last taken, in the hopes that Emily would have made the same connection.

The sound of a loud crash sends you running, but Derek is faster and he gets there before you. You enter the back room to find Emily bleeding out on the floor, a large wooden post stuck through her abdomen.

"I got her!" he yells into his comms before pressing his hands onto her wound. "Prentiss. It's me, I'm right here."

She mumbles something that sounds like his name and your chest floods with relief. You step out of the room to call for a medic, but when you get back, she isn't moving.

"Emily!" Derek yells as you sink to your knees beside him. Your pants are wet with her blood, and it feels like ice against your skin. How can there be so much blood in the human body? 

"Come on," he pleads, tightening his grip on her hand. "Stay with me!"

"Emily, please," you whisper, your throat hoarse from the unshed tears. You press your fingers to her pulse. "Please."

The medics come eventually, and she is taken to the hospital, where the whole team is holed up in the waiting room. Spencer hasn't stopped pacing since she was taken into surgery and you can't seem to take your face out of your hands, even as people press comforting pats on your shoulders. 

You don't notice anything going on around you until JJ comes back from speaking with the doctor with tears in her eyes. No, oh god no.

You barely register her words as she whispers, "She never made it off the table."

It's only then that you stand up. You're not sure what you're planning to do, but as soon as you try to move, your legs start shaking, like you're slipping in quicksand. Aaron steps towards you just as your body gives out and you collapse onto him, quiet sobs bubbling out of your throat.

"She was just here," you cry into his chest while you clutch his shirt as though your life depends on it. "How can she be gone?"

His hands rub comforting circles into your back as his arms tighten around you, keeping you upright, and you can't help but imagine that this picture looks vaguely reminiscent of his home last year when you held him up as he broke down. 

Emily's gone.

You can't even remember why you were so angry with him before. Everything outside of this moment feels so trivial, like you've been wasting so much time. You need him now, and you're so thankful he's here to hold you up even though his pain is just as big as yours.

Aaron wraps himself tighter around you, fighting the tears that are rushing forward, because they just aren't fair. His whole team is falling apart in front of him, and he's one of two people here who knows the truth.

You choke out another sob and he tugs you upward, helping you stand again as you wipe the tears from your face. Out of the corner of his periphery, he sees JJ pull Spencer into a hug, and she meets his eye over the younger agent's shoulder. So much pain.

"What are we supposed to do now?" you ask suddenly, your voice so small he's sure he's the only person who can hear you. "How are we supposed to keep going?"

The familiar echoing emptiness of guilt swallows him whole and he sucks in a sharp breath in a futile effort to keep himself from drowning. Your glistening eyes are so wide with despair, and he pulls you back into his arms, mostly for comfort, but also because he can't stand to see you in pain for much longer. When he finally finds his voice, all that comes out is, "I don't know."

***

You can barely remember the funeral. 

When you try to think about it, there are flashes of white gloves and red roses and rough, brown dirt, but the only thing that really sticks out is the pressure of Aaron's hand over yours as you stood in front of her casket while they lowered her into the ground.

So many funerals, so many gravestones. The eery familiarity that has made you numb to the loss, even as it threatens to tear you apart each time you let yourself think about her.

It has become a regular passage in the story of your life: meet someone new, learn to love again, and then lose them.

Tears prick your eyes as you settle into the stiff wooden chair in your kitchen. The team has been organizing impromptu get-togethers all month, mostly at the last minute and usually late at night. That's when the loneliness hits the hardest. 

You figure you should be used to it by now. Deep down, you know it's not something anyone ever gets used to, but believing that the pain will abate is easier than realizing it'll always be there, buried in your bones. 

The pain of your mother's death is still a phantom bruise under your skin, always there, but never at the forefront until you press hard enough. Losing Jeff was a whole other monster, hiding under your bed and within the confines of your mind, ready to pounce the moment you closed your eyes. Haley, on the other hand, was a fresh wound; sometimes, you still aren't sure that the gash has fully closed, but with time it has gotten easier to pretend that things aren't awful all the time.

You wipe a loose tear from your cheek as you check your phone messages and tidy up some of the plates from your table. Aaron came over last night, and you both sat in silence for a long time, until a photo of Emily on your computer brought you to tears again. He held you for hours as you shook in his arms, trying to keep yourself together, but ultimately failing.

The silver lining of his renewed presence in your life doesn't feel as sweet as it should, given the circumstances, but you'll take any win you can get. If nothing else, you missed the feel of his arms around you.

You flinch as the dishes clink together loudly when you set them in the sink, and you watch the water dribble from the faucet for a long time, pretending that all you see isn't her blood.

***

He doesn't know what to do. He wants to be there for you more than anything else in this world, but seeing you break down is like being stabbed all over again, only this time it's his own fault. 

When you called last night, he couldn't stay away. He misses you like he's missing a limb, and even if he wanted to stop himself from seeing you, he knows he couldn't. Your grief has brought you back to him, but it feels wretched, even as he shoves aside his guilt for an evening to comfort you at this low.

He had lost count of the number of work-related things he had kept from Haley when they were married, but he always had the excuse that she didn't need to know. That her life would be better without the knowledge of all the horrors that circled them everyday. 

He doesn't have the same excuse with you. You are well-acquainted with the tragedies that life brings, and if it was up to him, he would spill every secret he has ever hidden, because he loves you, and you're one of the last people in this world who still trusts him, and he's so scared that after this, he'll lose that too. 

But he keeps his mouth shut. And when Garcia invites him to a get-together at your place, he politely declines, because if he knows you all have each other, then he can take one night off from the debilitating guilt he somehow still hasn't learned to shoulder after all these years.

***

"Come on in."

Spencer, Derek, and Penelope shuffle into your house, handing you bottles of wine and bags of assorted snacks, before plopping down on your couch and making themselves at home. They've been over so many times in the last few weeks that you figure it basically is their second home at this point, not that you mind. 

None of you want to be alone, and that's why it works.

"What are we watching tonight?" Derek asks, his voice nonchalant, like it's just another movie night with your colleagues. He always starts the night acting like everything's fine, and it really irked you the first time he came over, until you realized it was a front that he just needed time to shed. "Didn't you say last time that you have the original Jaws DVD?"

"What if we watched The Empire Strike Back?" Spencer asks timidly from under a slew of blankets that Penelope has covered both of them with. His nightly ritual involves suggesting one of his favorite movies, even though it always gets immediately shot down. 

Derek chuffs, snagging some of the blanket from off your lap. "Maybe another night, kid."

"I don't care what we watch," Penelope sighs as she pulls open a bag of popcorn and chucks a handful into her mouth, "as long as it isn't sad." That's her only request. Nothing sad, please. Your nightly ritual is like a practiced dance. Each of you playing your parts, reciting your lines the same way, keeping it familiar. Establishing a routine.

You stand up, taking your cue, and grab a random DVD from your cabinet. Ten minutes later, you're all watching The Empire Strikes Back, and Spencer cracks something that looks like a smile for the first time since before the funeral.

You watch the movie in silence, and when the credits roll, you watch the names scroll over the screen as you muster up the energy to find the remote. When you finally click the TV off, the silence feels suffocating, and you hear Penelope sniffle from next to you.

Throwing your arm around her shoulder, you all squish yourselves together, like the pressure will keep the emotions in. 

After a long pause, Spencer is the first to speak. "It'll get better, right?" 

"It has to," Derek sighs, his chin falling to his chest as he takes in a deep breath. You know him well enough to be able to translate his exasperation into anguish, even as he tries to hide it.

"It will get better." You glance around the couch at your friends - the people who have been here for you through all of it - and nod your head, choosing this moment to really believe it. "It will."

***

It doesn't.

A week later, you are storming into Aaron's apartment after he dropped Jack off to stay with Jess, your words already pouring out even before he can shut the door behind you.

"How could you take the assignment?"

Your tone is laced with malice, but he can still hear the hurt underneath.

"How could you leave us here after everything that happened?"

This time the pain is clearer. Your voice breaks at the end and he steps forward to do something, but you twist your body away.

His hands fall hopelessly back to his sides and he doesn't know how to explain this to you, when he can't even explain it to himself.

"Strauss left your brief in the conference room." Your words are stronger now, and he looks up, his eyes squinting with anticipation. "You've known about this since before the new year."

You're right. He's known about the prospect of this assignment for almost a year, and then after, when it became a real possibility, he still chose not to tell you. Maybe before, he had the excuse that you weren't speaking to him, but after Emily...he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

"Why wouldn't you tell us?" you ask, the anguish coming forward in full force. "We need you here. Jack needs you. I need you."

He needs you too. But he also needs to stop hurting you. And he can't see that happening while he's still here.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly. I love you, I'm sorry.

You let out a sigh and your shoulders fall, like you've lost all of the fight within you. You look so defeated, and it feels worse than when you were yelling at him. 

You're right here, but you feel so far away, like he's looking at you through tinted glass.

"Fine," you say after a beat. "Call me when you're leaving."

Your shoulder brushes his as you whip past him, and he doesn't muster up the courage to speak again until you're already gone.

***

The call comes soon. Too soon.

You meet him at his apartment, and Jack immediately gives you a hug before latching himself back onto his father. You don't know what Aaron told him, given how you don't even know how long he's going to be gone, but you can't imagine it was helpful to a six year old boy who only understands that his father is leaving for a long time.

"I called Jess to pick him up," Aaron explains in a hushed whisper as Jack runs out to get his shoes, "but she's busy until the afternoon."

"That's okay," you say, crossing your arms in front of you. It's a defensive maneuver that's about all you can muster up right now. "I can drop him off at her house after we get you out of here."

You try to say it lightly, but your tone sharpens at the end, making him flinch. You sigh, an apology in itself, because you're trying so hard to be supportive. You know you're mad at him - no matter how hard you try not to be - but this isn't the time to show your anger.

Jack comes back into the living room, and you usher the young boy out the door as Aaron lugs his duffel bags behind you and out to the car. The drive is mostly silent, and Jack doesn't say a word until you help him out of his carseat and onto the tarmac at the base. 

"I'm gonna miss you, Daddy," he whispers, his little hands reaching up to grab his father's hand. "Come home soon."

Aaron picks him up and squeezes him in a big hug, before setting him back down on the ground. He looks at you then and you shrug, pressing your lips together. "What he said."

"I don't know how long this is going to take," he says, mostly directing his words at Jack, even though he keeps glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. "Probably a few months though."

A few months. That shouldn't feel as long as it does. 

"Bye buddy," he says then, kneeling down to hug his son again. "Go sit in Y/N's car so I can talk to her about some grown up stuff for a minute."

Jack bounces back to where your car is parked, and you watch him get in before turning back to look at Aaron. There's a resoluteness in his expression that shouldn't surprise you, given how driven he is by his sense of duty, but it still catches you off guard.

"You'll be okay there?" you ask, needing to get that out of the way before the rest of it.

He nods, before inching his hand forward to brush against yours. It's a small gesture, but you're not ready yet.

"I'm still angry," you whisper, pulling your hand back slightly. "I don't want to be, because you're leaving, and I want you to have a clear head out there, but I can't help it."

"It's okay," he says softly, his brow furrowing.

"No," you sigh, shaking your head. Your throat is thickening with the threat of tears and you don't want to cry in front of him now either, but there are too many emotions swirling around your brain to keep any of them straight. "I'm not really mad, okay. I know you're trying to do the right thing, but she's gone, and the team is not okay right now, and I need to find a way to handle it on my own."

I can't do it by myself, you want to say. I'm in love with you and you're making it seem so easy to leave me here to shoulder the burden of everyone's grief.

"I'm sorry," he says again, his voice softer this time. 

You're so much better than me, he thinks as he watches you stand so stoically before him. I love you and I can't bear to see you in pain when I'm part of the reason why.

"It's okay," you repeat after a beat. Then you reach forward and take his hand, like he tried to do earlier. His hand is warm and calloused, and it feels rough against your palm, but it grounds you, tethering you to this moment. "I'll see you when you get back."

He nods, before pulling you forward gently into a hug. Your chin tilts up to sit on his shoulder and he squeezes you to him once before letting you go.

When he lifts his bags and walks toward the loading ramp, Jack leaps out of the car and grabs your hand as you both wave goodbye.

He flashes you both one last smile before waving back and disappearing into the plane.

***

The first month is the easiest. You let the futile anger take over; let yourself pretend that you don't actually miss him. 

Seeing Jack and Jess makes it less painful, and you slowly find yourself spending more time with them than at home. Jess tries to spend time with Jack at Aaron's apartment to help him maintain a stable environment, but with his father gone, it doesn't help you notice the absence less.

"He's not eating as much," Jess mentions to you one night after she puts him to bed and joins you out in the living room. At first, being at his place without him felt intrusive, but you've gotten used to being there. "He was picking at his food all through dinner."

"I noticed that," you agree as you pat the spot beside you on the couch. "I'm sure it's just a picky eating phase. Once he settles back into a routine with you it should be fine."

"With us," she corrects with a small smile. "I need all the help I can get, and I really appreciate you being here so often."

"Oh, honey, of course." You give her forearm a squeeze before grabbing both of your empty glasses from the table and taking them to the sink. "I was worried I was becoming more of a burden on you by being here so much, but I'm glad it's welcome company."

"Always," she says, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. You set the glasses down and turn back to see her staring at the tiny picture frame of her and Haley on her counter. "She always made it look so easy."

You nod, not wanting to interrupt her moment. After a beat, Jess releases a heavy sigh and shakes her head. "She was the perfect mother. If I can be half as good of a caretaker for Jack as she was, I'll know I'm doing something right."

You smile unconsciously, remembering a moment from years ago. "I swear Aaron said the exact same thing once. He was upset about leaving work late again when they first had Jack, and I had to assure him that he wouldn't miss every childhood milestone just because he had to work late once in a while."

He was so terrified of being anything like his father. You tried your best to show him how impossible that was, but those are the kinds of things people have to learn on their own.

Jess looks down, deep in thought, and your phone chimes then with a new message. It's from Derek: Hotch sat phone call, 15 mins

"Jess," you whisper, getting her attention again. "Aaron is scheduled to call us over the satellite phone in a little bit. I'm gonna go into the office to see if I can talk to him. Is there anything you want me to tell him?"

She thinks for a moment before shaking her head. "Just that Jack and I are doing well. And we miss him."

You nod and press a kiss to her cheek before grabbing your coat and driving over to the field office. The sky is dark by the time you arrive, and it feels foreign to walk into an empty bullpen. The team has shrunk so much since he left, and lately it's just been you, Spencer, Derek, Rossi, and Penelope around here.

You knock on Aaron's office door once before stepping inside.

"Sounds good," Derek is saying as you shut the door behind you. "Yeah, keep us updated." He sees you then and beckons you closer before turning back to the phone. "Y/N's here. I'll hand it to her."

You take the phone from him and tentatively press it to your ear. There's a slight buzzing sound and when he says "Hello?", his voice sounds far away.

"Hi," you say softly, turning your back to Derek for some semblance of privacy, but he has already pulled out his phone and started typing something. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," he says, sounding slightly distracted. "It's really busy over here. How are yo- you all doing? Jack and Jessica?"

"They're good," you tell him, hoping he can't hear the tightness in your voice over hearing his for the first time in weeks. "They really miss you. We all do."

"I miss you guys too." 

You hear some muffled voices on the other end of the line, and you jump in with your questions before he gets called away. "Any updates I can ask about? Like when you'll be done."

"Not right now," he says with a sigh. "It's still need-to-know."

"Right," you whisper rigidly, even though it's not fair. He's trying his best, and he's doing what's right, but you keep punishing him. Because of your own feelings, your brain adds at the end. 

"It's protocol," he says, even though you're both well aware of how this works.

"I know," you sigh, your fingers gripping the phone tightly. "I have to go back to Jess's."

"Y/N, wait-" he starts, but you are already handing the phone back to Derek.

He takes it uncertainly, but you just shake your head and exit the office.

***

"Did you watch the other movie I gave you?"

You whip your head around to look at Spencer, who is looking at you intently. You had been staring at Aaron's office door for the better part of the last hour.

You frown apologetically. "Not yet, Spence." He had loaned you his DVD of one of his favorite Star Wars movies, and each time you tried watching it, you were just reminded of the immediate aftermath of losing Emily. "I'll find time soon, though."

"That's okay," he shrugs as you inadvertently glance up at the door again. "I know it isn't everyone's thing. I just thought you seemed to enjoy the one we watched at the movie night."

"I did," you assure him, reaching out to pat his hand. "I promise I just haven't found time yet."

He smiles at you, and you return it before your eyes dart up to Aaron's office door at the sight of movement. A small, unrealistic part of you expects Aaron to emerge, but it's Derek instead. Derek took over his office a month after he left to Pakistan, because the secure line was already set up.

"He has a lot on his plate these days," Spencer says, drawing your attention back. He's watching Derek speak to someone at the top of the stairs, his forehead crinkled with stress.

"We're down quite a few hands," you nod, pursing your lips. "Maybe we can convince Derek to bring JJ back permanently."

Spencer lights up and you can't help but grin too. "We definitely should."

***

The cases start piling up, and you welcome the distraction as the passing months begin to weigh on you. The whole team has been under a lot of pressure from the brass, and Strauss has been hinting at a prolonged assignment in Pakistan that may take up even more of his time.

After a particularly grisly case, you invite Penelope over to unwind with some wine and chatting. It doesn't escape your notice that you're missing half of your usual girls' night attendees, but you keep the wine flowing, and soon you aren't focusing on anything other than the new guy Penelope met at her grocery store.

"He's so sweet," she gushes as she leans over the table to grab another chip. You're both sitting on the floor of your living room, and you reach out hastily to steady her glass as it gets precariously close to spilling over. "And I think it says a lot that he shops at such a high quality grocery store."

"Oh, absolutely," you nod, lifting your own glass in a mock salute. "You can tell a lot about a man by how he eats."

"Tell me about it," she sighs, her words starting to slur. Maybe opening the second bottle was too much. "I once dated a guy who only ate protein bars and steak."

Your face twists in disgust, and you set your glass down, feeling the rush of tipsiness hit you. "That's definitely not a balanced diet."

"I tried to tell him," Penelope says, before her face falls into a sad frown. "I really tried."

"Okay, okay," you say, trying to change the subject as her eyes fill with drunk tears. "Back to the grocery store man."

Her face breaks into a wide smile comically fast and you let out a high laugh. "He's so sweet. He really is just the sweetest guy."

"So I've heard," you grin, taking another sip of wine.

Turns out your last glass was one too many, because an hour later, after sending Penelope off in a cab and clearing away your dishes, you're still feeling the buzz from earlier.

Your face feels comfortably warm and you grab your phone from the counter, with the intention to call Emily, when you suddenly remember-

Your smile falls in an instant and tears are rushing forward before you can clearly form a coherent thought. You drop the phone and rush upstairs to take a hot shower to wind down and calm yourself, but even as the burning water washes over you, you still feel wound tight, like your emotions are trapped inside of you.

She was the first person you would always call after a tipsy night, and now she's gone. 

Everybody's gone.

JJ, Emily, Aaron. Aaron.

A sob chokes out and you press your hand over your mouth, your body caving forward under the billowing steam fogging up the glass. You miss him so much, it's like you're not even yourself anymore. 

You let out another soft sob as the water begins to calm you down, but you can still feel the echoing hollowness inside of you. You wish he was here, holding you, telling you it would all be okay. That you didn't ruin everything by pushing too hard, too fast. That you love him and he loves you, and it can all be perfect again. 

"It'll be okay," his voice whispers from behind you, and suddenly he's there. Not really, but with your eyes closed and your mind still foggy, it almost feels real. "I'm sorry I left. I should've been here."

"You should be," you gasp out as his arms close around you from behind, holding you tightly under the soothing warmth of the water. "You left me."

"I know," he says, his breath tingling the sensitive spot behind your ear. "I'll never leave again. I promise."

"You promise," you whisper, mostly to yourself, as you turn around. His lips glide over your shoulder and up your neck, and suddenly his mouth is on yours.

You gasp as his hands slide down your body, his fingers gently caressing the sides of your breasts as he makes his way to your waist. His lips are so soft against yours and when his tongue runs along the seam of your mouth, you moan loudly, letting him swallow up the sounds.

He feels so real under your hands as you trace the jagged scars along his abdomen, and when his tongue glides down your-

You sit up with a gasp, your head pounding with the beginnings of an oncoming wine hangover. Your sheets are messily strewn around you, and your skin is sticky with sweat, but you can't bring yourself to get up. You take a large gulp of water from the glass on your nightstand and check the time: 3:02 AM.

Falling back with a huff, you run a hand over your face and fruitlessly try to sleep through the rest of the night.

***

Summer brings its own set of struggles.

The heat makes each case feel ten times longer than it already is, and with September fast approaching, Jack gets more and more antsy about starting school for the first time.

"He's been shut in his room all day," Jess sighs over the line as you make yourself coffee with your phone pressed between your shoulder and ear. "I think he's sad that he's starting school without either of his parents here."

Your heart breaks as you imagine Jack alone in his room, waiting and wishing for his dad to come back in time for his first day of school. Then an idea pops into your head.

"I think I know what to do."

An hour later, you, Jess, and Jack are waiting in line, under the beating sun, to get into the Smithsonian's zoo. Even tho you can already feel the sweat starting to drip down your back, Jack looks downright giddy, so you take the win.

When you finally get inside, he makes a beeline for the monkey exhibits, and you and Jess meander along behind him, chatting about her new side gig.

"I'm starting the part-time job in the fall," she explains as you stop behind Jack at the front of the chimpanzee enclosure. "It works out with the start of the school year, in case Aaron is gone for a while longer."

"That sounds great," you smile, giving her a small side squeeze. "You deserve something to take your mind off of everything too."

She shrugs, ever the neutral party, before looking at you with a smirk. "I hear there are some changes happening at the BAU as well?"

"Right!" you grin, following Jack to the next exhibit. "JJ was helping out temporarily, but she's officially back on the team. She also mentioned to me that she might be considering enrolling in profiler training so she can be a full-time field agent."

"Good for her," Jess smiles. "Lord knows you guys could use some extra manpower right now."

It's right then that your phone chirps with a text from Derek saying that Aaron is calling in again this afternoon. The urge to speak to him for the first time in weeks tugs at your gut, but then you glance over at Jack, who looks happy for the first time in just as long, and before you know it, you're typing back your response: Not today. Busy with Jack.

***

The next time Aaron calls in, you don't have an excuse. 

You're at work, scribbling out the last few lines of your latest case report, when Derek tries to call you into his office. You haven't spoken to him in over a month, and he's asked for you each time he called, but still you refuse.

"Y/N, come on," Derek chuffs, running a hand over his face. "You know he wants to talk to you. He's by himself over there."

That's what gets you. By himself. As though you aren't alone too. As though you hadn't been completely fucking alone when, over the weekend, you found a pair of socks Emily must have forgotten at your place months ago, and had a full body breakdown on the floor of our foyer. 

Each time you're close to forgetting that he left you here to fend for yourself, it comes back in full force, and right now, you would rather do just about anything other than put on a neutral face and ask him how he's doing over there.

"Next time," you say, hoping the finality comes across in your tone. It must have worked, because although Derek shakes his head disappointedly, he doesn't ask again. 

When you go to Aaron's place after work to see Jack, Jess pulls you aside, a worried look on her face. 

"We spoke to Aaron yesterday," she explains, her arms crossed over her chest. The bureau set up a secure line for them so she and Jack could speak to him periodically. "He seemed to be doing well."

"That's great," you say with a nod, unsure of why she's updating you when she thinks you spoke to him today. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," she says, waving away your concern. "I told him about Jack starting school in a few weeks, and about my new job. Then when I mentioned you - how you've been coming here a lot - he looked really happy that you were involved, but...he sounded off for the rest of the call."

Your shoulders tense up and you try to relax, so as not to give yourself away. "Damn Jess, they should make you a profiler."

She says your name sternly, and you can hear the Haley in her voice. "I'm serious. Have you guys not been speaking?"

"It's okay," you say, shaking your head. "I just need some more time, but I'll talk to him soon."

She twists her lips into a sad frown and you sigh, not knowing what to say, but she beats you to it. "He misses you...and I can tell you miss him."

You don't have an answer that she will want to hear, so you stick with the usual. "I'll talk to him next time."

***

"Do I have to go?"

Jack's bottom lip juts out in a sad pout as you adjust the straps of his little backpack on his shoulders. 

"It's your first day of school, bud!" Jess is trying to sound excited, but you can hear the sadness in her voice too, now that she won't have Jack all hours of the day anymore. "It's an exciting time!"

"You got this, baby," you smile, pressing a loud kiss to the top of his head. "Your dad is so proud of you."

"Your mom would be too," Jess adds with a sad smile. "Now go on in, Jack. I'll be right here waiting for you when the last bell rings."

He considers this for a moment, before nodding. Then he looks at you. "What about you?"

"I have to work," you say softly, matching his pout and making him let out a small giggle. "But you can tell me all about your first day when I see you this weekend, okay?"

"Okay," he nods, before grabbing the straps of his backpack and marching toward the front door.

"There he goes," Jess says wistfully, linking her arm through yours.

You let out a small sigh before shooting her a smile. You love him so much, and you're so glad you get to be here as he grows up, but you're so sad that Haley is gone and he's missing out on this moment. "They grow up so fast."

***

The next time Aaron calls in, you're talking to Dave in his office about his latest cabin trip. He is filling you in on the species of fish that live in the lake behind his place when Derek walks in with the notification that Aaron is on the other end of the line in his office.

Dave nods, saying he'll speak with him at the end, and Derek almost skips over you until you follow him out the door.

"You sure?" he asks as you follow him up the stairs.

You nod, bracing yourself for the guilt as you pick up the sat phone. "Hello?"

"Morgan?" Aaron asks, his voice confused over the line. 

"No," you say, shaking your head even though he can't see you. "It's me."

There's a moment of silence before he clears his throat. "Oh, I'm glad you could come in."

You say something that sounds like "of course" and suddenly he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. He hasn't heard from you in weeks, and even though he's probably coming home soon, he's so happy to hear your voice he could cry.

"Jess said you were there for Jack's first day," he says slowly, trying to find his voice. "Thank you for doing that. I know it's a lot before coming into work."

"It's not," you say genuinely, momentarily alleviating all of the anxiety he has been having around missing everything in his son's life. "He's the perfect kid. I'm lucky to be a part of his life."

He closes his eyes, wishing with every fiber of his being that he was there with you right now, and not thousands of miles away. "Thank you."

"Any time."

There's silence for a few moments before your breath stutters. "Do you know when you're coming back?"

His heart cracks at the soft sadness in your voice, but he still isn't allowed to share anything that is strictly need-to-know. "I don't."

Your breath catches in your throat and he hears the quiet sob as it breaks over the line. "I miss you, Aaron."

His fingers grip the phone so tightly he's afraid it may shatter in his hands, but there's nothing else tethering him to his life back home. This metal box is the one thing that is keeping him alive out here, and even though he left home so that he could stop lying to you, he's still doing it.

That's why he swallows thickly and says the one thing he knows isn't a lie: "I miss you too."

***

The team got called into the office for an emergency that no one has explained to any of you, and you take a seat in the briefing room as everyone else files in, matching looks of confusion all around you.

"Anyone know what we're doing here?" Dave asks as he leans back in his chair.

You're about to shrug when a figure walks into the room in a dark blue button down and an unfamiliar scruffy beard.

Your eyes widen and your breath leaves your body as you start to stand up, but then he motions for you all to take a seat, so you sink back down. He glances at everyone in the room before his eyes finally land on you. You can't believe he's here. That he knew he was coming back and still didn't tell you.

"What's going on?" Derek asks, breaking your eye contact with a jolt. "Everything all right?" Aaron ignores him. "Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle."

You don't know why he's bringing this up again but then he continues. "The doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under covert exfiltration."

Your heart falls. No, there's no way. "Her identity was strictly need-to-know. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to, for her security." Your teammates break their silence at the same time. 

"She's alive?"

"But we buried her..."

You're still unable to suck in a big enough breath to regain the ability to speak, but then another figure walks in and you suddenly understand what people mean when they say their heart skips a beat.

"Oh my god," Penelope whispers from behind you as your feet unconsciously carry you forward and toward her. Toward Emily.

You pull her into your arms, relishing the feeling of your friend hugging you back after you thought you would never see her again. Her arms squeeze you tightly and you suck in a shuddering breath, trying to calm down your heart rate.

She's alive. Emily's alive. Aaron's back and Emily's alive.

The thoughts ping pong around your brain, fighting for dominance, but another one buried deeper in your mind floats to the surface, refusing to be ignored.

He lied.

TAGLIST:@citrusiove, @yiiiikesmish, @mdanon027, @alice-w0rld, @beata1108, @bakugocanstompme, @raely-study, @himboelover, @hermionegalathynius, @rousethemouse, @calif0rniadreamin, @tolerateit13, @delusional-13s-blog, @madesavage05, @littlemisskavities, @love13tter, @domithebomi, @guacam011y, @averyhotchner, @silver-studios, @whosmys, @mimi-sanisanidiot, @chronicallybubbly, @shilphy87

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#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #hotch x reader #hotch x female!reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner smut #hotch #hotch smut #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #penelope garcia #spencer reid #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #david rossi #jack hotchner #jessica brooks #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner series #criminal minds series #criminal minds season six #hotch fic #criminal minds fanfiction #anchor series #anchor

[spaceyrosie]

for you, i would ruin myself

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x daughter!reader, hints of Aaron Hotchner x Emily Prentiss Summary: Hotch is a busy man and he truly tried his best to be there for his children, until one day they got into a serious accident, leaving his daughter to be seriously injured. Warnings: heavy angst, sadness, reader got seriously hurt, descriptive injuries, blood, mentions of death, Haley's death, Hotch really tried his best, cliffhanger Author's note: I've been wanting to write for Aaron Hotchner for a while now and have finally gotten the time and inspiration to do so. I don't know if I should make a second part. Word count: 2.1k

“Dad! Hurry or Jack’s going to eat the cake all by himself!” you hollered from the living room.

Jack giggled “No I’m not,” his hand reaching out for the cookies they baked together that afternoon.

It was a peaceful day, one you have wished for a while now. Your dad’s job made it challenging for him to be home during the weekends, but today is one of the days he has taken the day off to celebrate your birthday.

“I’m coming!” Aaron replied walking to the living room to his children.

He had asked you a few weeks prior if you wanted a party for your birthday but you replied only wanting a small and quiet birthday with him and Jack. “I just want to celebrate the moment with the people I love the most, but I don’t get to do that these days.”

Aaron understands that reference, he has been travelling for work a lot in the past months. This is your first birthday since Haley passed, and it’s hard to celebrate without her.

Pulling Jack to his lap, they both sang Happy Birthday before you blew out the candles. Jack cheered, “We eat the cake and cookies now, Daddy? Please,” Giving his best pout, Aaron laughed.

“At least let y/n cut the cake first,” he chuckled while ruffling his son's hair.

As you are about to slice into the cake, they hear the dreaded ringtone from his work phone. Grimacing slightly, he picked up the call and lifted Jack from his lap before walking to the kitchen, “Hotchner. Yes, JJ?”

You tried not to let your emotions down, you knew this was part of his job. But, your fingers trembled as you sliced the cake before handing a plate to Jack. Your dad is still talking on the phone in the kitchen and judging by how his voice lowered, you know what’s about to come.

You tried to bite back the tears that were threatening to fall - will there be a time when your dad can make more time for his own family?

He walks back into the room, face pulled into a frown. He knelt before you, gaze heavy, “I’m so sorry, honey.” He started. “We got pulled into a case. I got to fly to Arizona.”

His apology lingered in the air. You nod, not really trusting your voice at the moment. You swallowed down your disappointment before forcing out a smile. 

“It’s alright, dad.” Your reply was short. You couldn’t let him see the cracks behind your smile. He carried enough burdens, with the weight of his job and being a single parent of two, you couldn’t add your disappointment to his plate.

He frowns not convinced, “Really, me and Jack will just watch Star Wars after this.” Who you are trying to convince, him or yourself, you are not sure.

He looks into your eyes, “I’ll make it up to you, honey,” he whispers, his hand cupping your cheek. You savour this moment - when was the last time Dad held you?

“We’ll be fine, Dad,” You turned away, breaking the contact, and he took the cue to grab his go-bag. Your eyes are misting up but you quickly wipe the tears away not wanting Jack or your dad to see it.

It was your birthday, after all, you are supposed to feel happy, right? Right?

Standing by the door, he crouched down to hug you before pulling away to speak to you, “Happy birthday, honey. I’ll be back soon.”

You watched him walk out the door, knowing he would not be coming home anytime soon.

The next time Hotch dissapoints you was during the end of school year.

The ticking clock felt like a curse, each second mocking his fading hope. Hotch cursed when he saw the time - 3 hours until 7.00 pm.

Looking at the evidence board, he pinched his eyebrows together, the pins and photos taunting him with a case and the fact that he will be disappointing his daughter, again. 

He felt a buzz from his pocket notifying a text from you.

I’m getting ready for the show. See you there!

He didn’t get to reply to the text as Morgan notified him the tactical team was ready to go to the unsub’s place. Pulling on his vest, it felt tight against his chest, burned with frustration and anxiety about the situation. He gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white, as he led the team to the location provided.

Emily sat beside him noticing his tense posture, “You alright, Hotch?”

He doesn’t want his emotions to cloud his judgment while being in the field. Shifting his gaze into a stoic focus, he said, “Yeah, just ready to wrap the case after we catch the unsub.”

Emily was not convinced as her gaze cut through his stoic mask with her head tilted to the side and eyebrow arched. Hotch sighs, “Y/N’s recital… it’s tonight. Her solo. And I won’t be there.”

She winced, the weight of his unspoken pain echoing in the silence of the car.

“I promised to be there but I know even if we get this guy on time, by the time we arrive in Quantico, the show is finished.”

You squinted through the glare of the spotlights where a sea face blurred in your vision. Your eyes, desperate with searching, landed on Aunt Jessica’s sympathetic gaze, followed by the emptiness of the reserved seat beside her. She waved when you both locked eyes and gave you an apologetic look when your eyes lingered on the empty seat next to her.

The audience applauded after your fingers hit the last note, but all you can hear is the deafening silence inside your head. Flashes of should’ve, would’ve echoed in your head, as the seat next to Aunt Jess remained empty even until you took the final bow.

The case dragged on as Hotch and Prentiss interrogate the unsub into a confession. By the time the team puts their reports in, it's almost midnight.

Hotch tiptoed into the living room, the house quiet. Your bedroom door flicked open and you felt your dad’s presence.

“I'm sorry, honey.” His voice rasped, each word carving deeper into your disappointment.

“I-” You started, voice thick with unshed tears “I- I understand, Dad.” The lie tasted bitter in your mouth.

When he remained quiet, you continued, “It's part of the job, right.” You whispered, voice cracking at the end.

Hotch swallowed his guilt, he'll never get to see her perform on stage. “Honey, I-” He puts a hand on your shoulder to offer some sort of comfort. But, the both of you know nothing can take back his action. “I really tried to be there, y/n,” He said instead.

Still looking away from him, you took a shuddered breath before sighing, “I just…” you whispered, “I wished you were there.”

Silence consumed the room as they both weighed their words in.

Somehow, too many disappointments led him to situations he regrets.

Hotch frowned deepened when the traffic slows during the drive back to Quantico. 

“Traffic’s unusual at this hour,” Prentiss muttered on his side.

Hotch grunted not in the mood. The team got called in for a case over the weekend, and they just finished wrapping it up. Despite it being local, he is still pissed to be working on his day off.

Sirens wailed behind their SUV, and he glanced in the rear mirror where an ambulance was passing through the traffic. The traffic moved slowly and they passed by a few police cars parked by the roadside trying to control the traffic where an accident had happened.

Amidst the flashing lights, he saw it - a black sedan crumpled beyond recognition. His breath hitched in his throat as he saw the plates before he pulled to a sudden stop by the roadside.

“Hotch? Why did we stop?”

She followed his gaze to the plate numbers before realisation dawned on her. Not caring to answer her, he jumped out of the SUV before running towards the scene. The smell of gasoline overwhelms his nostrils as his eyes wildly look around the crash site. An officer pulled in front of him, “Sir, please step back.”

“My family!” His roar cut through the atmosphere as he tried to shove past the officer. “Let me through! That’s my family!”

“Aaron!” A familiar voice hollered and he spotted Jessica’s wild curls from a distance. Jessica stumbled toward him, her face smudged with soot and blood stained her shirt. Dread fills his chest as he takes in the condition she is in.

“Jess!” His voice, usually calm and composed, cracked as he pulled her into a crushing embrace. “What’s happened? Where’s Jack?” He threw many questions. “Jess, tell me what happened! Oh my God, where’s y/n?” Aaron could feel the thumping in his chest.

Jess was crying, “I’m sorry, Aaron. I’m really sorry,” she choked out and he almost lost his mind when he heard those words from her.

Then a small figure emerge from the chaos, “Daddy!” Jack’s familiar voice brought some peace to his racing heart. Running towards the boy, who was being attended by a paramedic, he crouched down to console his son’s terrified sobs, “Hey, buddy. Oh Jack, ohh,” Jack was crying, a deep gash etched across his forehead.

His gaze, frantic and desperate, scoured the scene before he landed on a stretcher with you lying on top. He felt his heart drop when he saw your face, pale with a brutal gash mirroring the one on Jack’s head.

“y/n!” The name ripped from his throat as he nearly scrambled to run towards you.

“y/n! Open your eyes, sweetheart,” Aaron begged as he stood by your side. 

“Sir, please step aside so we can help her,” One of the paramedics told him.

He begged, “P-please, she’s my daughter,” Tears were streaming down his face, “Y/n, I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here,” He sobbed trying to take hold of your hand. It felt cold to his touch, you have lost too much blood, causing your body temperature to drop.

You stirred before your eyes fluttered open, “D- dad?” your voice croaked.

Gripping your hand tightly, “I’m here, honey. Dad’s here,” Aaron assured.

Gaze unfocused as your eyes stared ahead, “D- dad, you’re h-here?” You try to reach out. Aaron tried to smooth out the hair out of your face, his face coming into your view.

“I’m here, y/n.” He assured again.

“Dad… it hurts...” You cried, and Hotch felt like his heart had been stabbed. Your whole body was on fire and your breathing hurt. Tears were streaming down your cheeks, mingling with the blood smearing your face.

“I know, sweetheart, I know. But you’re going to be okay. They are going to help you, okay.” His reassurances trembled, knowing he should not make any promises given the condition you are in.

Before you could reply, your eyes fluttered shut before your grip slackened in his. He panicked, calling out your name, “Wake up y/n,” His calloused hand cupped your cheeks, a silent plea etched in his words.

“Don’t do this, honey. Open your eyes, y/n.” His voice, usually strong and steady, cracked as he choked back a sob.

“Step aside, sir.” One of the paramedics immediately rushed.

Right in front of him, he saw another paramedic insert a breathing tube into his daughter’s mouth to help you breathe. Aaron saw his world turned dark when the monitor connecting to your chest beeped rapidly, signalling the heart's struggle to beat rhythmically. 

Hotch felt like he failed you.

He failed to protect you.

He failed to be the father you need.

“We are going to be taking your daughter to Georgetown University Hospital, sir,” The paramedic informed as the stretcher was wheeled into the ambulance. “She’s not stable, you can follow us in your vehicle,” He said sympathetically.

His fingers dug into the cold metal of the stretcher, refusing to let go. "I have to be with her," his voice rough with desperation. "Please, just let me hold her hand."

The paramedic's gaze softened, but his hands stayed firm. "She's losing too much blood, sir. Every minute counts. You'll be with her soon, I promise."

Aaron nodded and released his grip, a sob escaping his throat. Images flickered behind his eyes: empty birthday chairs, unanswered phone calls, a whispered promise to come home. How many times had he failed to be there? How many moments had slipped through his fingers, swallowed by the demands of work?

Haley’s pained voice, etched in his memory, morphed into y/n’s bloodied face.

How many times have you needed him but he wasn’t there?

How many times did he leave his family for work?

His knees buckled as he watched the ambulance drive into the night, flashing sirens blurring into the smoked air. His hands trembled on his side unable to control the weight of guilt inside him.

Emily’s voice cut through the fog, “Hotch,” No amount of words can offer him any comfort in that moment. She tried, nevertheless, “She’s strong, Aaron.” 

He hopes so.

He really hopes that you’ll be okay.

#aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x daughter!reader #aaron hotchner x female!reader #aaron hotchner x you #criminal minds #criminal minds angst #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner #bau x reader #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner imagine #dad!hotch #emily prentiss x aaron hotchner

[mismatched-sockss]

Kiss it better

» Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!BAU!Reader » Wordcount: 2,4k » Warnings: hurt/comfort, established relationship, non-sexual nudeness and touching (except for maybe a short allusion but emily turns reader down), reader has female anatomy (breasts are mentioned), mentions of unsub beating up reader and the resulting injuries, reader takes unspecified pain medication, pet names (honey, my love, baby) » A/N: no detailed body description --- pls take a look here for more info about my reader descriptions in general

You tried to muffle the pained groan when you leaned into the shower to turn the water on, so Emily wouldn't hear. You didn't want her to worry her again. Still, not even five seconds later she slithered into the bathroom, almost slipping on the floor with her socked feet as she ran to the door.

"What are you doing?", she asked warily, her brows furrowed as she watched you like a hawk.

"Taking a shower?" You slowly turned to her and simultaneously started to unbutton your shirt. Your knuckles ached slightly from the movement, but the pain was not bad enough that you would have to stop.

"Yes, I can see that. Why are you doing it alone?"

"Because I'm a grown woman and can tak- ow!" Pain shot through your whole upper body when you shrugged the shirt off and moved your arm wrong. You tried to breathe through the pain and shot Emily a thankful smile when she helped you to fully remove your shirt.

She gasped when she saw the full extent of your injuries when she turned back to you after she threw your shirt into the laundry basket. She had been busy dealing with the Unsub and the local police earlier when the EMTs checked you, so she only knew what happend from what you told the team. This was the first time she saw the result of what the man had done to you.

Hotch had sent you to interview a potential witness, but when you knocked on the door the guy freaked when he saw your credentials. You fought with him but he got a couple of good kicks in once he had you on the floor.

Luckily you only had a couple of small wounds were the skin on your knuckles had split from the punches you were able to land, a cracked rib or two and a slight concussion. The big bruise that covered your right side looked really bad; it reached over half your stomach and your ribs up to your shoulder blade, shining in an angry mixture of different shades of red and purple.

As long as you moved with caution the pain was manageable so far and the bruises looked a lot worse than your injuries actually were. You could only imagine how bad it must look to Emily right now.

"Oh honey", she breathed out as she stepped closer. She reached out for you, her fingertips just barely touching the skin of your shoulder as she traced them along the bruise. Even though the bathroom had gotten warmer as it slowly filled with the steam from the hot water, her touch send a shiver down your spine and goosebumps started rising on your skin. "I'm so sorry. I should have gone with you."

You smiled at her as you took her hand between yours. "It's not your fault, okay?" You squeezed her hand and started to draw soothing circles on her skin with your thumb. "We had no way of knowing that Keller was the Unsub, when I left to interview him. And I was the one who insisted I would be fine on my own. Also, you already were halfway to the M.E.s office by then, so you wouldn't have been there either way."

"Still. Reid could have gone to talk to the M.E. alone. Then I could have gone with you." Emily raised her other hand to your cheek and softly stroked her thumb over your cheekbone. "I don't like seeing you hurt."

"I know, baby. But I'm okay." You crooked your head to the side as you leaned into her palm and rolled your eyes as you corrected yourself, because physically you were far from okay. "Okay, more like I'll live."

"You better...", she pouted.

You laughed and after she joined in, a sign that the tension was slowly leaving her, you leaned in to close the space between you both and kissed her.

Emily smiled when you parted and nodded her head to the running shower. "Let's get you cleaned up." She helped you to take off the rest of your clothes and then took off her own so she could join you in the shower. She insisted to do all the work and ordered you to "just stand there and look pretty."

The both of your stepped inside the shower stall and a deep sigh left your lips when the warm water hit your skin, immediately relaxing your tense muscles. The water pressure was light enough that it didn't hurt when it landed on your skin.

Emily reached behind you to grab one of the bottles and signaled you to turn around and face away from her, before she flipped the lid and squeezed some of the flowery smelling stuff into her hand. You closed your eyes when she started to shampoo your hair, her fingers gently massaging your head. She giggled when you hummed. “Feels good?”, she asked. You just hummed again and let your head fall back. When she was done with the shampoo, she unhooked the shower head and rinsed your hair out, then she worked some of the conditioner in as well. Every step - shampoo, rinse, conditioner, rinse - she softly massaged your scalp.

She proceeded to lather her hands up with shower gel. While she was doing so she planted a small kiss onto your right shoulder, right above the edge of your bruise. Emily's hands glided over your skin, washing your arms and your back, and she made sure to move over your injuries as softly as she could so she wouldn't hurt you.

By the time she made you turn back around, her touch had done much more to you than just washing your body. With a new portion of shower gel she started on your collar bones and worked her way down, over your breasts and stomach.

Your breathing quickened and you put your left hand on her waist to pull her closer. You tried to kiss her, but Emily turned her face away and chuckled. “Nope.”

“Mean”, you said and pouted. She kissed your nose before she bend down to wash your legs.

"I'm not being mean, but you are hurt. You'll have to wait until you're better, my love." She looked up at you and the sight alone - Emily on her knees in front of you and the way she was looking into your eyes, paired with her hands on your thighs - almost drove you insane. Like you said. Mean.

You groaned and rolled your eyes playfully. "Why do you have to be so responsible?"

"Because I love you and because I'm your boss."

"Just because you've been in the BAU longer than me, doesn't make you my boss”, you laughed.

Emily shrugged, a wide smile on her lips. "Tomato, tomato. It's pretty much the same thing."

After the both of you were done in the bathroom - freshly showered, bodies lotioned and dressed in comfortable clothes - Emily gave you some pain killers and sat you down on the couch so she could apply new bandages on your hand.

“It's really not that bad”, you said. She held your right hand in both of hers, examining your knuckles - split skin accompanied with light red bruises that were already turning purple.

She shook her head. “It's bad enough. Just let me do this, please?” Emily didn't wait for your answer, didn't even look up at you, before she dabbed some disinfectant on your knuckles; then she wrapped the new bandage around your hand.

“Okay”, you breathed out, giving in. You could tell she still blamed herself that you got hurt, heard it in the way her voice had cracked just now. If dressing your wounds and tending to your every needs would help that she felt better about it, you'd let her.

You didn't blame her. Or even Hotch. The only person at fault was Keller. But you knew, that if the roles were reversed and Emily would have gotten injured in the field while you weren't around, you would blame yourself as well. Probably even if you would have been around.

So you let her do her thing. You let her fix you something to eat, let her wrap you up in a cozy blanket and let her brush your hair. You would lie if you would say, that you didn't like it.

It was still early enough in the evening that you had time to cuddle up on the couch with each other and watch TV while sharing a tub of ice cream. Emily had you sitting between her legs, your back to her chest, so she could hold you without you having to lie on your side. One of her hands had found its way back into your hair, her fingers playing with your hair and untangling the knots that were back in your hair after she had brushed it earlier.

You had stopped paying attention to the TV a long time ago, fully focusing and enjoying her touch. From time to time you felt her planting a quick kiss here and there - the side of your head, your neck, your shoulder.

Slowly but surely it lulled you to sleep, you eyelids getting heavier by the minute. You adjusted your position, turning your head to the side to lean your forehead against her neck. Just when you were about to drift off, your hand slit off Emily's thigh and it collided with the empty ice cream container next to you. You jumped, not because it hurt your hand but because it had startled you in your half conscious state. Immediately after you doubled over in pain; which you regretted the second you did it as it only made it worse.

“Woah, hey, hey.” Emily grabbed your shoulders to hold you steady.

Tears shot into your eyes and you whimpered. It felt like your whole right side was on fire. Now with the sudden movement and since you had rested for a while, your more than sore muscles ached even more than they had before.

A sob fought its way out of your throat and before you knew it, you were full on crying. The crying didn't make it better: your head started to pound again, your side got worse as your body shook with every sob and when you started to hyperventilate your ribs violently protested against having to hold your lungs in.

Emily held you against her, making sure to not hurt you any further of course, and brushed the hair from your forehead. She stroked your hair as she was trying to calm you and she whispered “Shhh, it's okay... It's okay. Just breath.” into your ear over and over again. It hurt her, that she couldn't do anything to help you, to ease your pain. To take the pain away.

It took a while for you to calm down, until your breath evened out and your sobs stopped, only soft whimpers leaving your lips now. Emily asked you if she could get you anything and when you asked for painkillers, she sighed and kissed the side of your head. “It's too early to take another dose. I'm sorry, baby. We-”

“I don't care”, you cried. “Please...”

For a short moment she fought with herself. She wanted to help you, but you only had taken the last pill about two hours ago; the prescription said to wait at least four hours between doses. But with one look into your eyes, she dismissed all caution and nodded. If it only had been 30 minutes, it would have been a different kind of story. And not keeping to the advised time frame one time, shouldn't hurt.

“Okay”, Emily breathed out and carefully got up to get the medication and a glass of water. When she came back, she took a seat next to you and placed the pill in your hand. You took it and after drinking some of the water you gave her the glass back. “Thank you.”

“Of course”, she said and placed the glass down. “Why don't we get you into bed, huh?”

You just nodded. All you wanted to do right now was sleep. You were so tired. From the day, from the crying, from the pain.

“Do you want to go now, or do you want to wait a moment for the medication to work?”, she asked and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. God, you hoped the pain killers would work their magic quickly.

“Now please”, you said in a low voice.

Emily took your hand and helped you stand up, walking you slowly over to your shared bedroom. You stopped at your side of the bed, waited for her to pull back the blanket and then carefully laid down with her help.

“I'll be right back”, she told you, once you were all set. While she was gone, you closed your eyes and hoped, that your pain would stop soon. It had dulled a bit by now and lying down had helped your body relax. Right now, your headache was hurting the most in your body. Luckily it had stopped pounding in the rhythm of your heartbeat, but there was still a constant, sharp pain that felt like your head was about to split open.

You laid your wrist over your eyes - the bandage felt both soft and rough on your skin – and you kept it there, not moving it even when a soft clink on your nightstand indicated Emily's return; presumably with a fresh glass of water. You could hear her walking around the room and shutting off the big room light before she climbed into bed.

She softly touched your wrist and moved it away from your face so she could hold your hand in both of hers in between your bodies. “Are you feeling better yet?”

You turned your head to look at her, watching her pull your hand closer to her face and planting the softest kisses on your bandaged knuckles, one by one. You smiled at her. “A bit, meds are slowly kicking in, I think.”

“Good”, Emily said as she smiled back at you from behind your hand. “I'm glad. Try to get some sleep.” She sat up slightly and supported her weight on her elbow so she could lean down. First, she kissed your lips, then she planted a kiss on your cheek and one on your eyebrow.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x fem!reader #emily x reader #emily prentiss fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #ghosts can write #❤️ e.p. #--- mismatched🧦

[ddejavvu]

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader

summary: the hotchner family has some big news for the bau

You know you're glowing when you walk into work. Not only from your smile, but your skin is especially dewy, not from the product you'd smeared into your cheeks.

It's Emily that greets you, waving at you with her coffee rather than her hand, "Morning, Mrs. Hotchner."

"Morning Miss Prentiss," You gleam, leaning in to kiss her cheek, "How's my lovely lady doing this morning?"

"Not as good as you," She laughs airily after a moment's stunned hesitation, "What, did you win the lottery?"

"Nooo," You trek to the kitchen, ruffling Reid's hair on the way, "Just in a good mood. Derek?" You peer at the man pouring his own coffee, "Do we have any decaf left?"

His nose wrinkles, "No, we're not monsters. Why decaf?"

"Oh my god," Emily murmurs, a smile growing on her face, "Decaf?"

Penelope's head pops out from her lair at the sound of your voice, brows scrunched, "Mrs. Boss Man, you drink decaf?"

"Not normally," Emily gloats, "Does this have anything to do with you coming to work late from an unspecified doctor's appointment practically glowing?"

Penelope gasps, but at least waits for your guilty smile to start squealing.

"Oh my god! Oh my god, really? Really really?"

"Really really," You gush, accepting the hug that she nearly rams into you with, then eases up on your stomach for, "I had my first ultrasound today."

"Oh my god," Emily croons, taking the next hug, "Y/N, that's amazing. Does anyone else know?"

"Just my husband," You tease, "Where is he, by the way?"

"Right here," Rossi steps into the kitchen first, straight from a meeting with Strauss, Aaron hot on his heels, "Why are we hugging?"

"She's pregnant!" Penelope blurts, and Aaron looks only slightly mortified that you've revealed your sex lives to the team, "She's pregnant!"

"Congratulations," Dave smiles kindly, tugging you in for a side hug, "So, boy or girl? Do you know yet?"

"Well-" You start, but JJ - who'd seen everyone gathered and joined, filled in by Reid while they linger at the doorway - interrupts.

"I didn't know you were trying for a baby," She muses, remembering the last girls' night where you'd neglected to tell them any baby information at all, "I thought you said you were done?"

"Yeah," You glance at the floor, and Aaron's cheeks turn pink, "We thought so, too."

Penelope stifles a giggle into her cardigan. Morgan isn't as kind.

"O-kay," Rossi drawls with an amused scoff, "So it's an 'oops' baby. But is it a boy 'oops', or a girl 'oops'?"

"Uh, Aaron," You round on your husband, taking his hand, "There's something you should know. There's... maybe, two oops babies?"

Not even Aaron Hotchner is good enough at controlling his facial expressions to stay neutral now. His eyes widen and his lips part, words escaping him.

There's another round of squeals, a hearty slap on Reid's back from Morgan that you're sure the young doctor resents, and a jeer from Prentiss.

"Two." Aaron repeats, glancing down at your belly.

"Two," You confirm, "Erin and Aaron? Alex and Alexis? Megan and Morgan?"

Derek gives his stamp of approval with a loud, poorly-timed cheer, and when paired with the man's new knowledge of your sex life and his tendency to tease, it's Aaron's cue to disapprove.

"Absolutely not," He shakes his head, jumping into action to slip a hand down the small of your back and usher you out of the kitchen towards his office, "I'd rather go with Cain and Abel."

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner scenario #aaron hotchner oneshot #aaron hotchner one-shot #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner headcanon #aaron hotchner headcanons #aaron hotchner hc #aaron hotchner hcs #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #aaron hotchner dialogue #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction

[jessicaslittlelovesickmess]

Once upon a dream

Warning: mentions of pregnancy, mentions of cheating, mention of death, hurt comfort

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x Fem!reader, Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader, Tess Servopoulos x Joel Miller

The only thing Emily ever wished for was a family, to be the mother she never had to two sons and a beautiful daughter always three children specifically.

Emily always had dreams of becoming a mother one day but it was never in her stack of cards so she shortly gave up the idea. Her dreams would always be just dreams not until she met Y/n, she was everything Emily had ever dreamed of in a spouse.

Only Y/n wasn’t hers

They had met at a local cafe after Emily had accidentally bumped right into her forgetting her coffee as she left in embarrassment. Y/n went straight after her with the drinks in hand never guessing she would end up at her brother’s workplace the bau.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” Hotch asked confused Emily froze before turning around to face the woman. “You know each other?” She asked so unlike herself Penelope would’ve laughed Derek too “Aaron’s my older brother, you forgot your coffee” Y/n smiled.

Fast forward six years later

Emily going from blind date to hookup after hookup to get her mind off the now married woman who she still imagined a life with. Two sons and a beautiful daughter she told herself or even just one child would suffice maybe a cat if children wasn’t an option. She loved Y/n so violently it made her sick and everyone could see from a mile away- everyone besides Y/n although she loved Emily just as fiercely.

When Emily had “died” the other woman was inconsolable it damaged Aaron knowing he had a hand in this by not telling his sister the truth. Instead watching as the woman got married quickly to the first person who showed her simple kindness and their marriage seemed was almost out of convenience. Having met the woman while away trying to escape the life she once knew in Virginia moving to Boston and back again.

Y/n Hotchner became Y/n Servopoulos

Aaron couldn’t watch as his sister saw Emily for the first time once more after apparently being dead, how her hands trembled and eyes watered. The echo of her heels as she quickly left, Emily broke down that day one thing was certain nothing would ever be the same.

Y/n soon revealed she was pregnant with a little boy that shattered Emily’s entire world but she was happy for the woman. Though she couldn’t help but laugh when the baby was born looking just like his Uncle, to Emily Y/n was glowing and Tess well she was there.

Her son was named after an old friend Alex.

Theresa and Emily never got along always classed as competition in the other’s eye but they remained civil around Y/n never wanting to upset her. When Y/n was pregnant a second time Tess was around a whole less always giving Emily a chance to be by the pregnant woman’s side.

It was tough at first trying to win over the woman but Emily had her ways she would beg for Y/n’s forgiveness

A second boy named after his Uncle Aaron, Benjamin

Emily stood beside the woman until Ben turned two, Y/n and Tess were getting a divorce so Emily had the boys whenever she could. Tess had met someone while she was working away from home, some man named Joel from Texas. Joel Miller the same man who did the renovations on their holiday home who even had a daughter of his own.

It wouldn’t be until another year when a move would be made there was a routine the children had made that included Emily. You both would cook dinner- well you would cook and after spending time together you both would get the boys ready for bed and tuck them in. This night however as Ben snuggled into his pillow his little hand reached for Emily’s “stay mama” he yawned as the woman went to stand.

Tears spread on her waterline as she gazed down at him “of course my sweet boy” she smiled and once the kids were asleep you both retreated to the living room. Cuddling on the sofa watching some shitty reality tv show you gazed up at Emily “thank you” was whispered against her jaw. “What for?” She glanced down at you “for everything, for staying” soon enough your lips had met before you were on top straddling her.

Dreams slowly stopped being dreams another two years later when you and Emily had gotten married with just the team a few friends and your two sons as guests. Emily was over the moon to have a family to call her own, to have a reason to go home just knowing she was needed filled her with pride. Emily had gotten a taste of motherhood and she wanted more as you both laid bed post bliss she brought it up she wanted another child.

Two sons and a beautiful daughter

Her dreams were now reality as you welcomed Olivia into the world, Olivia Benson the Senior having to be the one to drive you to the hospital while Emily was away. She held your hand until your wife burst through the doors with the team behind her, you would birth a daughter who was the perfect mix of you both.

A little girl with Emily’s nose and eyes while she had your hair and mouth, Emily couldn’t help but pepper your face in kisses. “You did so well baby, I’m so proud of you” it made her think if she would ever be in this position if she hadn’t bumped into you that day.

Yes you were the bosses little sister but you had lead a similar life in a different town what if ran through her mind until she felt your cold hand on her cheek. She smiled brightly down at you as she leaned down to kiss you softly ignoring everyone in the room “thank you” she whispered.

“What for?” You chuckled tiredly with a dopey grin “our family” Emily held onto your free hand “I love you Y/n Prentiss” ignoring Hotch rolling his eyes fondly.

“I love you most Emily Prentiss”

Dreams do come true to those who wait Emily found.

#imagine #wlw #angst #emily prentiss x daughter #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x oc #emily prentiss imagine #emily prentiss x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x sister #aaron hotchner x sister!reader #criminal minds #emily prentiss #tess the last of us #tlou tess

[reidscanehand]

The Goodness, Love

Song Fic Inspired by the line: "Do you know I could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, I still carry for you?" from 'Unknown/Nth' by Hozier Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAUfem! Reader Category: Angst/Fluff TW: mentions of when Hotch and Jack were in witsec due to threats from Mr. Scratch, insecurities, cursing, consumption of alcohol by legal adults

~ "Do you know I could crash beneath the weight of the goodness, love, I still carry for you?" - Hozier ~

Having to stay in hiding due to the threat of Peter Lewis wasn't the ideal way to go about it, but it did mean that Aaron Hotchner got to finally be a stay-at-home dad to Jack. And, despite the fact that Peter Lewis was no longer a threat, the benefit of the time in WITSEC meant that Aaron was able to realize that that was exactly the life that he wanted to be living. Fortunately, his team being the amazing family that they are, completely understood. In fact, David Rossi insisted upon throwing him a going-away party. Rossi's house is stunning, as always, and the team really loves any opportunity to dress up and celebrate.

"Proud of you, you know?" Rossi says as he hands Aaron a whiskey soda.

"For finally retiring?" Aaron asks, smiling and taking the drink.

"For recognizing when it's healthy to step away," Emily Prentiss answers for Rossi, stepping up to the two of them.

"You're just saying that because you're in charge now," Aaron jokes.

Emily laughs and grins, "A little bit, but, no, really, boss. It's good for you. You look healthier than you have in years."

"Yeah?" Aaron nods. Emily is called away by Will and Aaron mutters to himself, "I wish everyone thought that."

"She definitely does, Aaron," David replies quietly, glancing as nonchalantly as possible over to you.

You, who hasn't yet spoken to Aaron other than a small wave and a "hi" when he'd gone into the office to formally resign. But you haven't spoken, not really. You'd entered the party - looking, in Aaron's opinion, rather ridiculously stunning in a deep, crimson summer evening dress that fits you just right, the just above ankle length skirt's ends fluttering in the breeze every so often - and murmured a shy and deeply impersonal, "congratulations, Hotch" before moving to the drinks table with JJ and Will. And this would've been entirely innocuous if you hadn't called him "Hotch".

Hotch.

Not what you'd typically call him. Not what he wants you to call him. No, he wants to return to the fondness and closeness the two of you had when he was on the team. But he doesn't know how to do that. And it seems as though you might not want to. He wasn't your boyfriend...he wasn't even close to that, but GOD he'd wanted to be. He still wants to be. He'd be happy to hold you in any capacity you'd be comfortable with, but this? This awkward and uncomfortable avoidance...this abject silence on which you've landed... It's almost too much to bear. Ever since they’d gone into WITSEC, Aaron’s heart had felt heavy. He’d thought it was because of Peter Lewis, but it’s still heavy now that they’re out of hiding. He's thrilled - beyond thrilled, really - to become a stay-at-home dad, but he knows he's leaving a whole lifetime of things behind. And if that includes you? He's not sure he'll be able to live with it.

"Hey," Spencer says, entering Dave's backyard. "Sorry, I'm late." Spencer gives Aaron a small hug and hands Dave a bottle of wine he brought.

"No worries," Dave assures him. "Tara's still running late."

"I'm sure," Spencer nods knowingly, straightening his navy blue cardigan, "traffic's dreadful."

"Hey, Spencer," you call jovially, waving to him from next to JJ. He beams and crosses to you, wrapping you in a huge hug.

And the ever so slight intimacy of this, the fact that he feels as though he could kill for a greeting like that from you makes Aaron almost throw up.

~~~

"Wondered where you'd run off to," your voice interrupts his thoughts. Aaron turns from where he's sitting, poised on the end of Dave's desk, staring out at his gorgeous view. The lawn, where the rest of the party was still taking place, wasn't visible from this window, which meant no one could see Aaron either, as he intended.

"I just, um, needed a breather," he lies uncomfortably. He feels like a coward for running away, but he could almost feel himself turning green as you greeted Spencer and then Tara with more affection than he dared to hope for since your slight coldness toward him had started. And a lawn full of profilers was hardly the audience to attempt to hide from.

"Sure," you say, and he tries not to take in your every move as you cross into the room, sitting down at Dave's desk, Aaron's back almost entirely to you. Neither of you says anything and it's just long enough that it would be almost more uncomfortable to break the silence.

Still, the silence feels like drowning. He wishes you could anchor him somehow. He can feel you staring at him, but can't bring himself to turn and face you. He needs you, but he almost can't bear it. He can't remember an uncomfortable silence with you because there never were any. Moments between the two of you were filled with work - he honestly had felt as though you could read his mind when the two of you were solving cases together - or easy conversation and laughter - he'd never known such a simple, straightforward comfort with anyone - or comfortable, companionable silence. Completely unlike this.

"It's a little odd, though," you break the silence, your voice, if Aaron's not mistaken, nearly cracking with the effort.

"What is?" he asks, barely looking over his shoulder, not sure his heart can make it if he sees you.

"You needing a breather from the people you're leaving behind," you almost whisper.

His brain is fully in control, ignoring the panging of his heart as he stands and turns to face you.

"Leaving behind?" he almost sputters.

You look away from him, biting your lip. You look almost ashamed, "Sorry, that's unfair."

"I'm not-"

You continue like he isn't speaking, standing from Dave's desk, still not looking Aaron in the eyes, "I know that Peter Lewis was...beyond anything really. And I know that Jack is the most important thing in the world and should be that's not wrong of you, and-"

Aaron crosses to your side of the desk, trying to "I'm not leav-"

"And I know that you have always gone above and beyond in this position and I know that you have lost...you have lost so much more than you deserved to lose, but-"

He steps closer, "I'm not leaving-"

"But...it's so terribly, terribly selfish of me, but Hotch I can't bear the thought of the BAU without you and...and while you were gone, it was hell. I was so worried about you and...and..."

You stop, taking a staggering breath. Aaron stops, just a breath away from you now.

"Aaron," he whispers when you don't start speaking again.

Your eyes, previously determinedly staring at his shoes, immediately jump to meet his own, "What?"

"You call me Aaron," he explains. "Not Hotch, never Hotch. Not from you, I can't...I can't bear it from you."

You swallow, but don't look away, "I...I couldn't call you Aaron. Not while you were gone."

"Why?" he asks, his hands itching to pull you to him, to take your hands, anything.

"Because," you rasp, a small tear falling down your cheek, "if something bad happened to you, I would never have to say that something bad happened to Aaron...to my Aaron."

"Your Aaron?" he asks, his voice barely above a breath, reaching up and wiping another tear as it rolls down your cheek, his hands awkwardly returning to his sides when he’s done.

"Yes," you reply. "And...now that you're leaving I can...it's so stupid, but I don't have to goodbye to...to my Aaron."

He stares down at you, not quite sure how to say what he needs to and knowing full well he can’t get through it without crying.

“I’m not leaving…” he starts, trailing off because he is leaving the BAU, but he begins again fairly easily, shocking for how heavy his heart feels, “I mean I’m leaving-I’m leaving the BAU. But I-I’m not leaving you. If you don’t want me to, that is.”

You stare at him, eyes wide as though you hadn’t expected it. Aaron doubles down, finding the strength to take your hands despite the shaking of his own.

“Because the thing is,” he continues, his voice barely above a whisper, so quiet he almost can’t hear it over how loud his heart is beating. “The thing is…is that I-I really rather like the idea of being yours. A-and if it suits you…I want you to be mine, too.”

You’re quiet still for only a moment before a tiny smile breaks over your lips, “Really?”

“Of course,” he sighs, his hands rushing to cup your jaw, “I-I’m so sorry I didn’t make that clear, but I would…I don’t think I’d be happy without you in my life.”

“I thought you…” you trail off, looking slightly embarrassed. “I was sure you’d forget about me.”

“Forget about you?” Aaron nearly laughs. “Oh, oh my girl, my heart would never let me forget you. It’s been carrying on without you for too long.”

You stare at him, a huge smile growing on your lips, “Well, then… I guess we’ll have to fix that.”

And as your lips brush against his for the first time, it’s as though the weight is finally lifted and Aaron’s heart feels lighter than it has in months.

~~~

~ You were like an angel to me.” - Hozier ~

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#aaron hotchner #hotch #ssaaaronhotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x BAUfem!reader #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fluff #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner comfort #aaron hotchner song fic

[cloudlessly-light]

Another Hotchniss filth age gap idea for you bestie: How about Dave is emily's father figure (not necessarily her step-dad but he has always been there when her real parents weren't) and Aaron is his best friend….so she's essentially fucking her dad's best friend haha

A/N: Bestie you know I love the AU’s and the age difference so you KNEW this was right up my alley lol. I hope you like our idiots being filthy together!

Title: From boys to men  Summary: From the moment Emily meets Aaron she knows that she has to have him, she doesn’t care that he’s older than her, doesn’t care that he’s Dave’s best friend. She wants him. Word count: 3,8k Rating: Explicit   Warnings: Smut, oral sex, dirty talk, choking, age difference, (Emily is 22, Aaron is 40-ish)

“Bella!”

The familiar sound of Dave’s voice makes her hurry downstairs from where she had been packing up the last few things that she still had in her parents’ home.

“Dave!” She beams and happily accepts the tight hug and kiss to her cheek. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, kiddo.”

Dave had been in her life as long as she could remember, a close friend to her parents and the one who she had come to know as a second father. In some ways he had always been the one to look out for her, even when she didn’t want it. They had only gotten closer when she moved back to the states for college. And now she was moving to her own apartment, her dorm room all packed up and she was starting a new part of her life, a part she was excited for.

“Have you got everything you need?” Dave asks just as a second figure appeared in the doorway and Emily swore she had never seen a more attractive man. “Oh right, Emily this is Aaron, one of my best friends. He’s kind enough to help out.”

“Like you’d be able to carry all those boxes without breaking your back, old man.” Aaron says causing Dave to feign hurt.

“Hey, you might be a decade younger but I am still wiser.” Dave jokes and Emily rolls her eyes. She had heard that before.

“Oh right, that’s how it goes.” Aaron teases gently and smiles at her while extending his hand. “Aaron Hotchner.”

“Emily Prentiss.” She takes his hand and shakes it, eyes locked on his. “Thanks for helping out.” When she pulls her hand back her palm tingles, the heat of his hand feeling like a brand on her skin.

“We should get going.” Dave interrupts, seemingly oblivious to the way Emily can’t tear her eyes off his best friend. “So we have time to unpack the heavy stuff and then I was thinking I’d treat you to dinner?” He looks between Aaron and Emily, his smile as kind as always.

“Sounds perfect.” She says and she sees Aaron nodding in her peripheral.

It was going to be a great day.

“So, how do you feel about living on your own?” Dave asked, chopsticks in hand. She smirked at him, knowing that he was more worried about her than anything else.

“It’ll be fine Dave, no need to worry.” She leaned back in her seat. “It’s like I’m an adult now.”

“You can’t blame me, you’re the closest thing I have to a daughter. And you’re barely an adult.” He shrugged and as much as she tried, she couldn’t keep herself from smiling.

“I’m 22 years old!” She laughs but secretly she loves that he cares for her in this way, her parents never did. “I’ll be okay, besides you’re 20 minutes away, it’s closer than when I was at Yale.”

“Yeah but-” The sound of Dave’s phone ringing cut him off and he sighed. “Sorry, I gotta take this.”

“Never met a busier man.” Aaron said once they were alone and she nodded as she looked at him from across the table.

She had spent most of the afternoon looking at him, feeling her mouth go dry by the way he effortlessly lifted heavy boxes, felt tingles down her spine as she watched his large hands flex as he helped her move the couch, she wondered what his hands would feel like on her body.

“So Aaron,” She made sure to put on a face of innocence “how do you know Dave?”

“We used to work together, before he retired.” Aaron leaned back slightly in his seat as he spun noodles around his chopsticks. “He trained me.”

“Oh, so you’re working for the FBI?” She made sure to keep eye contact, trying to size him up.

“Yeah, the behavioral analysis unit.” He smiled easily and Emily found herself wanting to press a finger against the dimple in his cheek.  

“No wonder you carried those boxes like they weighed nothing.” When one of his eyebrows arched she let out a breathy laugh. “Of course I noticed, how could I not?” She batted her eyelashes and she could see him swallowing and then cleared his throat.

“I’m flattered.” He said and looked down at his plate. He should not find a girl more than 15 years younger than him this attractive, he should not wonder what her lips tasted like or imagine the softness of her skin.

“Sorry about that.” Dave is suddenly there, sitting down and Aaron breathes a sigh of relief.

He could not go there with Emily, she was off limits.

It’s been three weeks since she moved and Aaron and Dave had both popped in to help out around the apartment, building furniture and painting walls even when she had told them both that she didn’t need their help. But she wasn’t going to argue too much, because seeing Aaron always ended with her hand between her legs later that night as she thought of him. She knew that he had caught on to the flirting, but he was still keeping his distance.

What he didn’t know was that what Emily wanted, she got. And she wanted him.

It was a warm Sunday when she got home from lunch with a friend. When she entered her apartment it was bordering on suffocatingly hot and she quickly made her way towards the AC. To her frustration it was dead and she had no idea what was wrong with it. She groaned as she pushed her hair out of her face.

“Great.” She muttered and reached for her phone to call Dave.

“Hey kiddo.” He sounded unusually happy she thought.

“Hey Dave, I have a question. What do you know about AC’s?” She started to move around the apartment to open the windows.

“Absolutely nothing.” He chuckled when she let out a sound of annoyance. “Besides, I’m in LA for the weekend, coming back tomorrow. But call Aaron, he might be able to help.”

Well that got her in a great mood.

“Okay, thanks.”

“Anytime Bella.”

She hung up and made her way towards her bedroom to change as she called Aaron.

“Aaron Hotchner.” He sounded distracted she thought.

“Hey, Aaron it’s Emily.” She kicked off her jeans and tore of her t-shirt as she kept him on speakerphone.

“Emily, are you alright?” She could hear the pause in his voice and she didn’t blame him.

“Yeah I’m fine, but my AC is out and I don’t know how to fix it and Dave is gone this weekend but he suggested that I could call you… Do you think you could come over?” She bit her bottom lip as she waited for his response that seemed to take forever.

“I can be there in an hour.”

Game on.

Almost exactly 60 minutes to the dot later, he was knocking on her door. When she opened it she saw the quick look of surprise on his face at the state of her undress. She had decided on a thin tank top and the shortest shorts she owned, blaming it on the heat if he dared to bring it up.

“Thank you for coming.” She smiled and gestured for him to come inside.

“Not a problem, hopefully I can figure it out.” As he moved towards the AC, she sat down on the couch.

“I’ll call someone tomorrow if you can’t.” She let her eyes move over him, he really was a stunning man. She wasn’t sure if he heard her, his focus already on the AC as he looked it over.

It didn’t take long, Aaron pushing buttons and looking over some of the wires before the buzz of the AC sounded through the apartment and Aaron laughed.

“Well, that was quick enough.” He said, his eyes lingering on her smooth thighs for a moment before forcing himself to look away.

“Sorry you had to drive all the way here for that.” She stood from the couch and batted her eyelashes as she slowly licked her bottom lip. When his eyes fastened on it she knew that she hadn’t imagined the way he had been looking at her.

“Not a problem. But now it’s fixed so I-” His words are cut off by the feeling of Emily’s hands pushing him against the wall. She’s so close that he can smell her perfume, could count her freckles and he knows that he should push her away, but he doesn’t.

“What are you doing?” He asks instead, voice low and the raspiness of it lets her know that he’s not unaffected by her proximity.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” She pushes up against him and he backs harder into the wall. With a smirk on her face she tilts her head as she looks up at him.

“We can’t.” He shakes his head, tries to rid himself of her perfume and soft body against his. Then her hand lands on his chest and he watches as she slowly moves it up to gently grab the back of his neck. When her nails scratch the base of his skull he swallows down a groan.

“Why not?” She doesn’t let his words deter her, she could feel his want pressing against her hip, could see how his pupils dilated.

“You’re too young.” He gets out through a clenched jaw and she laughs at his reply. “And you’re basically Dave’s daughter.”

“I won’t tell if you won’t” She tugs slightly on his short hair and his hands grab her hips in response. But he doesn’t push her away, and she knows she has him. “I want you. And I know you want me too.”

“Emily…” His fingers flex around her hips as he tries to keep some resemblance of control. But there’s no denying the want he feels when he looks at her, the attraction that had been clear the moment they met. When he opened his eyes she was even closer, her lips almost brushing against his. “I should have known you were trouble from the start.”

“You have no idea.” She whispers and then her lips press against his. The moment they kiss Aaron seems to give in fully, his hands moving from where they had been frozen on her hips to the small of her back, pulling her further into him. When his tongue licked at the seam of her lips she moaned softly and she swore she heard a sound of satisfaction from him.

He pushed her back, breaking their embrace and when he looked at her again, her breathing hitched. The hesitation that had previously been there was long gone as he looked at her with something dark, his eyes moving over her body slowly, deliberately and she felt her cheeks flush.

“What?” She finally asked, almost squirming under the intensity of his stare.

“You really are a gorgeous thing.” He muttered and caught her lips in another kiss, his hand firm around the back of her neck while the other sneaked under her tank top. He broke the kiss only to taste the skin of her jaw, her neck, taking note of what spots made her gasp and moan.

“Take of your shirt.” He said and Emily let out a breathy chuckle.

“So this is how this is going to go? You barking orders at me?”

“Yes.” The tone of voice was firm, determined, his face stern as he stared her down and she could feel her cheeks heating at the same time as heat settled as a dull ache between her legs. It’s his turn to smirk, happy with how fast the tables turned. “You don’t think I can’t tell that’s what you really want? What you crave?”

She swallowed hard when his fingers tangled in her hair, giving her a moment before pulling back, forcing her head back and she gasped.

“There she is.” He mumbled against her jaw. “See you’re not as good as you make yourself out to be in front of others, are you?”

“Aaron,” Her hands were fisting his shirt, close to ripping the fabric. In a matter of seconds he had taken complete control and she had never wanted anyone more. “Please.”

“Please what?” He nipped at her bottom lip, tugging it between his teeth and pulled lightly.

“More, fuck anything.” She breathed and he let go of her hair with a hum of satisfaction.

“Come on.” He put just enough distance between them to take her hand in his and dragged her towards the bedroom. When he turned back to her he quickly grabbed the hem of her top and pulled it over her head, a low groan sounding in his throat when he saw that she wasn’t wearing a bra. “Naughty girl.”

She didn’t get the time to respond, his lips once again on hers as they started to tear at clothes. Her hands moved over his strong chest, enjoyed the heat of his skin and the feel of his chest hair against her palms before moving further down to work on his jeans. With some help from him, she got them off, his jeans and boxers landing in a pile on the floor and her shorts soon following.

The sound that ripped from his throat when she wrapped her hand around his painfully hard shaft sent tingles along her body, and she knew she needed to hear it again. She pulled him into another kiss, only licking over his bottom lip for a moment before continuing to kiss down his jaw. His stubble was rough against her lips, a feeling she enjoyed until Aaron’s heavy hand pushed in her shoulder, urging her further down.

When her knees hit the floor with a soft thump she looked up at him with wide eyes, her hand still stroking him.

“Open your mouth Emily.” He pushes his thumb between her lips and when her tongue circles the pad of it he smiles. “Good girl.” He pulls his thumb out and gives her a nod and it’s the only thing she needs before she takes his cock in between her lips.

Her mouth is wet and hot and he hisses at the sudden pleasure as she licks around the tip of him, tasting his precum with a sigh before moving further down. He throws his head back as she takes more of him, he’s sure he’s never felt a more wicked mouth around him.

Emily keeps her eyes on him, gauges his reactions and feels smug as he groans and swears above her. Like he senses it he looks back at her, and his fingers tangle in her hair again. The scratch of his short nails against her scalp makes her moan and his hips buckles against her face in return to the vibrations around his shaft.

“Can you take it all?” He growls, fingers tightening slightly as she licks the length of him. She isn’t sure she can, he’s thick and long but she was damn well going to try so she nods. Her lips wraps around him again, and she slowly pushes forward, making sure to flick her tongue and relax her throat.

“Fuck, just like that.” He doesn’t push her forward, watches in awe as she chokes and her eyes turn glassy. “Gorgeous.” He mumbles, more to himself than anything as he watches how she pulls back to breathe and then takes him back in her mouth. This time she doesn’t stop until the entire length of him has disappeared and when she chokes, he groans at the way her throat contracts around him.

She pulls back gasping, a tear falling from her eye and he carefully brushes it away and she smiles, proud that she had done what he asked. As she tries to continue, his fingers tighten in her hair and she hisses at the pull.

“Come here.” He gasps and effortlessly pulls her up to stand again. His hands move over her body, taking in every curve and valley as he lays her on the bed. He listens to her moans as he sucks on a nipple, watches the flush on her skin as he touches her everywhere except where she wants. She tries to turn them, but he’s too strong and easily pins her down with a slight shake of his head. He licks between the valley of her breasts, sucks hard on her collarbone, making her mewl. When her legs spread for him he smiles against the skin of her neck.

“What do you need?” He whispers, one hand moving between her legs, gripping the soft skin of her thigh and then slowly moving further up.

“You.” She pants, her body feeling like it was on fire from his lips and touch. She could barely think, let alone form words and for a brief moment she wonders if this is what madness felt like. Then his fingers move through her, slowly, carefully and her hips twitch.

“So wet, all for me.” He wants to taste her, wants to make her fall apart again and again but his own need to feel her wins out and he quickly rolls between her spread legs. He groans at the heat of her against him, lets the length of him move against her as he claims her lips in a breathless kiss.

“Aaron, please.” She whimpers, and he knows that the sound of her begging him will stay with him forever. He keeps his eyes on hers when he pushes inside of her, wants to see the pleasure on her face. Her jaw turns slack, her eyes drift close and a moan, breathy and loud falls from her lips and he can’t help the way his hips snap in response.

Her legs wrap around his waist, causing him to go deeper inside of her and he groans lowly. He moves with long strokes, each of his thrusts met by her moving hips. She clings to him, her nails digging into his back as he fucks her hard enough for her body to jolt. The sounds that come from her are breathy and deep and unfamiliar to her, the pleasure he’s causing almost overwhelming.

“God you’re so fucking tight.” He rasps and she can only whine in response as he sneaks a hand between them to rub her clit. When her eyes roll back and her back arches into him, he takes advantage and sucks on one of her nipples.

It’s not long before she starts to feel the coiling in her belly, and she knows that Aaron feels the way she’s clenching around him when he looks down at her with a smug grin.

“If you stop I’ll kill you.” She breathes and he chuckles but he doesn’t stop.

“Already so close. It’s going to be fun to see how many times I can get you to fall apart for me.” His voice has dropped even further, his own arousal clear as he speaks. He moves up on his knees, continues to rub her clit and holds her hip with his other hand, keeping her in place as he pushes deep and hard inside of her.

She comes in only a few moments, tensing and shaking at the same time as she cries out loud enough that she knows the neighbors would be able to hear. It only seems to spur him on, his thumb insistent on her clit, and hips strong as he fucks her through it.

“One more.” He growls and she whimpers but nods. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he’d make her come again.

He grunts when she starts to clench around him again in no time at all and he rubs her clit faster. Watching Emily come might be the most erotic thing he’s ever seen and he knew right then that this wouldn’t be a one-time thing. She comes with a groan, hips buckling and head thrown back as she moans his name.

It isn’t until she’s sucking in desperate breaths of air that he slows to let her come down from her high. When her eyelids finally flutter open, her dark eyes are hazy and there’s a lazy smile on her lips.

“Let me ride you.” She says and he nods before laying down.

He watches with dark eyes as she straddles him, lets his hand rest on her hips as she starts to slowly grind on him.

“You’re so big.” She gasps, the fill of him close to painful as she moves above him. Her eyes find his, sees the same pleasure reflected in his eyes that she feels and she smiles.

“I know, baby.” He whispers as he enjoys the view of her on top of him. “You’re doing so good.”

“I want you to come inside of me.” She plants her hands on his chest and starts to move faster, lifting herself up and down. “I want to feel it.”

“Jesus Christ.” He grunts, his hips pushing up against her in response. “Make me come then, filthy thing.”

Emily keeps her hands on his chest as she grinds and rocks her hips above him, wanting him to feel as good as he had made her feel. When his hands grip her hips harder she knows he’s getting close and she lets him help her move. Then one hand moves from her hip to wrap around her neck and she gasps as she looks down at him, finding the look on his face close to wild.

“Fuck, that’s it.” He growls as he squeezes slightly around her neck. “Gonna come inside of you, pretty thing, don’t stop.”

She doesn’t. If anything her movements become frenzied, the feeling of his hand around her throat and the feeling of him inside of her driving her crazy. When his hand tightens and he groans her name she whines, the sound of his name falling from her lips and it’s the last nudge he needs before his hips stutter against her and he comes with a loud grunt.

His hands loosen and she switches to slowly roll her hips against his, drawing out his pleasure until he stops her with a breathless laugh.

“Give me 30 minutes and then we’re doing that again.” He says and she feels another rush of arousal settle in her belly.

“What’s the matter, old man?” She teases and he laughs.

“Do not even think about acting like a brat right now.” He pinches her side and she jerks before settling back over his lap, happy to watch him as he catches his breath.

“So, we’re doing this again?” She asks with smiles as she looks down at him.

“Oh yes, we’re definitely doing this again.” He gently pulls her down to kiss her. “There’s no way I’m letting go of you.”

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #hotchniss smut #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss smut #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotch x emily #aaron x emily #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner smut #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss smut

[just-a-torn-up-masterpiece]

do you write breeding kink? if you do could you write daddy!Emily breeding reader Dom/sub or not 💗

-🍪

soumis et reproductible

masterlist

emily prentiss x fem!reader

18+ : smut; breeding kink, strap use (r!receiving), oral to a strap(emily!receiving), daddy kink, degradation, praise, semi public sex, sex in a car

these pics are daddy emily frrrr

Emily saw you with the children too, watching fondly as you laughed in hushed tones with Jack, causing mischief with the boy before trying to pass your bad influence onto Henry too. It was silent the way you’d both come to the same conclusion, this is what you wanted next. 

Emily saw you with the children too, watching fondly as you laughed in hushed tones with Jack, causing mischief with the boy before trying to pass your bad influence onto Henry too. It was silent the way you’d both come to the same conclusion, this is what you wanted next. 

So later in the day, when the children were subdued from their drained energy and the sky was beginning to darken outside, you all made your way to the living room to watch a movie to end the evening. You were only innocently refilling your glass in the kitchen when she rested her chin on your shoulder with her arms snaking around your waist. 

Your breath hitched lightly when you felt her brush against your ass, a bulge you’d not been aware of pushing into you.

“Emily, have you been wearing that all day?” you whispered, she only smirked against your neck with her kiss. 

“Mhm.” She nodded with her hands inching downwards to rest on your belly. “You’d look so perfect with my baby in you, sweetheart.”

Always the tease, she left you with a kiss on the cheek and a smirk as she left the room. And her teasing didn’t quite stop there with her hand setting up home on your thigh as the movie played and her lips ghosting your ear with occasional whispers to make you laugh. She even went so far as to guide your hand to her crotch, holding in a laugh at the way you’d cough to hide your surprise.

“This could be ours soon, love,” she whispered to you with a grin that matched yours, an innocent facade before her voice lowered and her hand dared to inch upwards beneath the blanket. “You’re gonna look so pretty when I’ve fucked a baby into you.”

She snickered at the way you fidgeted in your seat, looking at her with pleading eyes. It was lucky she adored seeing you look so needy because she grabbed your hand and pulled you to a standing position.

“We’re gonna have to get going,” She smiled at the rest of the group. “I’m getting tired and I need to drive us home.” 

You looked over at her as she drove with her fingers gripping the steering wheel with her other hand on the gear stick, often moving over to rest on your thigh with a smile shot your way. Your conversation was held with an undertone of anticipation of the evening you were both looking forward to, you’re certain your underwear is soaked by now with the growing heat between your thighs. 

“So I think that w- oh, what’re you doing?” She interrupted herself with her words spoken through a large smirk with her eyes flicking down to your hand where it had made its way to her lap. You wordlessly unbuckled her belt with a metallic clink, pulling at the zipper of her jeans. 

You smiled sweetly at her when she glanced over, freeing her strap as she adjusted slightly in her seat. You climbed up onto your seat to be able to lean over, peering up at Emily through your lashes as you lowered your head until your lips brushed against the tip; she nudged your head lower and your jaw slackened to take her into your mouth with your tongue licking over the length.

“You’re such a good little slut, aren’t you, hm?” She rasped from above your bobbing head, you knew just how to suck her strap in a way that hits against her clit and the sensation and the sight of your head in her lap, her hand cupping the back of your neck, made her ravenous. Your eyes watered slightly with the way she’d lift her hips but god it felt so good, lips wrapped around her cock as it hit the back of your throat. 

You heard the clicking of the car’s indicators before feeling it come to a stop, Emily tapped your cheek lightly for you to pull away and she loved the perfect sight. Your lips were wet, a string of spit clinging to them from her strap and your eyes were so desperate.

She’d pulled over to the side of the road in her lusting thoughts, lucky enough to take a slight detour to somewhere a little more secluded. 

“C’mere.” she spoke with a nod of her head towards her lap which you instantly obeyed but not before eagerly ridding yourself of your jeans, climbing over to her side of the car with your knees planted either side of her legs. Your hands cupped her cheeks while hers held your waist, pulling her into a kiss you’d both been craving. 

She kissed you firmly with the softness of her lipstick transferring onto you, taking all control with her hands pulling you into her with her strap ghosting against your clothed cunt teasingly. Your hips twitched on their own accord, just chasing down any semblance of pressure while her tongue pushed against yours dominantly and her hands crept beneath your shirt with the bluntness of her nails digging into your skin. 

She was so ravenous for you, groaning into your mouth at your whines and the way your hips tried to move against her.

“Such a needy girl.” She muttered against you, trailing her lips across your jaw, planted kisses beneath your ear with her teeth grazing the skin. “Fuck yourself on daddy’s cock like the obedient thing you are.” She whispered, pushing the material of your underwear aside and positioning the tip of her cock at your dripping entrance.

Your hands held onto her shoulders as you sunk down onto her length, taking it inch by inch as it filled your pussy until it nudged perfectly at your sweet spot and Emily bathed in the surreal sight of your mouth dropping open with a silenced moan as you began a rhythm. She pulled your shirt over your head with a wanton lust clouding her gaze, unclasping your bra and throwing it aside with no cares of possibly being seen through the windows, too intent on pulling a hardened nipple between her teeth. 

Your movements sent a heat through Emily’s core, the way you fucked yourself hit against her clit and you felt her moan against your chest, biting into the pillowy flesh of your breast with a suck that’ll leave a mark behind. 

“God, you’re so good, sweetheart.” she rasped against you, nearing the edge herself from how worked up she’d gotten. The moan you let out when her thumb pushed over your clit just spurred her on, matching your pace with thrusts of her hips. You came together with unplanned synchrony, breathing heavily against one another’s lips, too starving to allow much time to pass before Emily’s strength was put to good use. 

She easily manoeuvred your body, helping you climb to the back seats closely following behind you with her body straddling yours where your back lay against the leather. You watched her undress herself, discarding her jeans and pulling her shirt over her head with her breasts being set free with a bounce when she unclasped her bra; she smirked at the way your mouth practically watered at the sight. 

Her nipple was hard beneath the flick of your tongue and she sighed at the sensitivity, at the way you sucked it into your mouth with your fingers pinching at the other, palming at the soft flesh. Her hand pushed against your throat and the vibration from your whimpers just urged her on.

Your underwear were pulled away and her cock roughly pushed into your pussy with little warning.

“‘M gonna fuck this needy pussy of yours until you’re a pathetic little mess.” She murmured with her voice low and her hips moving with a teasing pace. “Gonna fill you up with my cum like the breeding bitch you are.”

The hand that wasn’t resting against your neck took a firm hold of your thigh and your legs wrapped around her waist to pull her into you, belly twinging and choked moans falling into her mouth from yours with the way her dick fucked into you. 

“Fuck, daddy- feels so good.” You stuttered out against her.

“Mhm. And you’re taking me so well.” She returned, looking into your eyes lustfully whilst the arousal pooled in her stomach too, her back growing sticky with sweat beneath your fingertips with the way your nails aimlessly scratched her skin making her lips part with grunts of pleasure. “You’re gonna look so perfect with your belly swollen and full with my baby growing inside of your beautiful body.”

Every word she murmured set your skin alight, pussy clenching around her with the lewd wetness of your cunt sounding out in the car with each snap of her hips into yours. Her movements began to stutter with how close she was growing to her release, grasping her bottom lip between her teeth while your moans were nothing but breathy choked grunts. 

“I’m gonna cum, sweetheart. C’mon, show me how good you can be for me. Cum around daddy’s dick.” 

Her back was littered in nails marks, crescent grooves and light pink scratches, only being added to when she sent sublime waves throughout your body. Every sense was flooded and drowning in Emily, coming down from your orgasms with sloppy and breathless kisses, teeth often clashing with no cares about the way her teeth tugged at your lip with a metallic flavour left behind. 

Her strap stilled in your pussy, leaving you with that feeling of fullness as she kissed you; her bare breasts pushed against yours and you could feel her body rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath. Her lips pecked along the heated skin of your cheek, cupping your jaw softly before smiling down at you. 

“You think it worked?” You asked which earned a chuckle in return.

“I think we should try more when we get home - just to up our chances.” She shrugged smilingly.

#emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss x fem!reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n

[greencways]

we only accept the love we think we deserve

1093 words

"What do you need Y/N?"

"You, Emily! I need you" you cried.

This is the situation you found yourself in, you had been dating Emily Prentiss for almost a year and those have been the best months you could've asked for, she was everything to you.

You were woken up at 4 o'clock in the morning to an empty bed and some soft noises of someone frantically trying to get ready quickly coming from your side of the room.

"Em?" you called out, patting the side of her bed "Emily?" you jolted up.

"I'm here darling girl" she leaned down to kiss your forehead as she buttoned up the last of her blouse "go back to sleep honey" she smiled gently as she leaned in to kiss you.

With the taste of her still on your lips, you brushed your lip with your finger, still desperately trying to savour any taste of her she left on you as she walked over to the mirror.

"Em" you quickly jumped out of bed as she was brushing her hair over the other side of the room, you slung your arms lazily around her waist as you watched you both in the full body mirror "please Em it's four in the morning, can you come back to bed" you pouted, just enough so she would take pity on you.

"That's very sweet Y/N/N but I have to go, I got called into work early" Emily leaned back and closed her eyes softly at your touch, your arms still slung around her waist and her hands atop of them, lazily drawing patterns over them like she did when she was anxious, you knew her tells, you had been best friends with her for almost 11 years, you knew her better than anyone else.

"Okay come on, spill it, Prentiss" you jerked your head to the edge of the bed for her to sit down, Emily sighed heavily but she made her way, even though very few steps, you held her hand every step of the way, you knelt down in front of her as she sat down and put her hands on her lap, lifting them, getting ready to bite her nails, you quickly realized and reached for her hands grabbing them and placing your warm hands on hers in contrast to her freezing hands.

"Are you cheating on me? cause I would rather you say it right now Emily please I-"

You cried.

"Hey hey hey no no" Emily started to panic, she took her hands out of yours and placed them on your cheeks "Sweet girl don't ever think like that, I would never do that" her lips curving into a smile "If I ever made you feel like that I'm so sorry you don't deserve that" Emily stated.

"You're not?" you sighed, almost slipping in and out of consciousness due to how tired you were.

Emily shook her head slightly, her cold hands still on your face, you leaned into her touch, closing your eyes.

"Ever since Hotch left and I've became the Unit Chief, people have been on my ass" you both laughed, you nodded agreeing "I would never do anything to intentionally sabotage our relationship Y/N I can promise you that, I just need a few more weeks so I can get this sorted so we can be like we used to, what do you say?" Emily's fingers wiping off tears you didn't even realize where there.

"Um yeah, yeah okay" you smiled.

"Okay" Emily gently kissed your forehead "come and see me in my office when you come in alright"

"Alright" you chuckled softly, you both knowing that you were going to do that anyway.

A few hours later, you got into work, you finally saw Emily was alone so you decided to go and talk to her.

"Em?" You knocked on the door.

"You can come in?" Emily laughed after you double checked to see if anyone was there and if she definitely wasn't busy.

"Bought you lunch, you forgot it on the kitchen counter" you smiled.

"You, Y/N, are a lifesaver" Emily said as she leaned over.

You smiled "Can I do my paperwork in here?" you questioned, fully expecting her to say no.

"Sure" she replied happily.

"Ugh great" you moaned, you needed to spend more time with her, even though she lived with you, you craved her attention, you felt like everyone else recently was getting it apart from you.

"Everything alright?" Emily laughed "What do you need Y/N" she said as she turned back to face her computer to answer emails.

Now or never, you thought "You, Emily! I need you" you cried out before your brain could comprehend what you were even saying.

"What are you saying?" Emily said as she stopped typing and turned back to face you.

"I need you" you mumbled.

"I'm right here" Emily's lips curved into a slight smile.

"Emily I love you, so so much and I'm thankful for all the time we spend together But I feel like, we don't spend as much time together as we used to, ever since you become Unit Chief I-" you stopped yourself.

"What is it?" Emily held out her hand for you to take, which you gladly did.

"It's stupid nevermind, I'm sorry"

"None of your thoughts or feelings are eve stupid, say it" Emily smiled.

"I was just gonna say, I feel like, maybe, I'm not as important to you anymore" your free hand flung up to your eyes to try and stop the tears from flowing."

"Oh honey" her face dropped, she walked around the desk and knelt beside you "can you please look at me for a second"

"You are the best thing that could've ever happened to me" she smiled as she tucked your hair behind your ear, her hand landing on your cheek "I'm sorry that I made you feel like that, from now on, I'm going to make you the number one priority in my life, which you are, okay?" she smiled as she balanced herself up by squeezing down on your thigh "I love you so bad" she smiled as she played with the ends of your hair "more than anything" she smiled as she kissed you on your forehead.

"I would miss you too much I think" you and Emily bought laughed slightly.

"Hmm I know" Emily joked.

"I love you so much" you whispered as she bent down so your foreheads were touching "more than anything"

#criminal minds #fanfic #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss x reader #x female reader #x yn #character x you #reader x character #character x reader #x you #emily x reader #paget brewster

[storiesofsvu]

Cherry Blossoms

Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: minor language, alcohol consumption, just pure fluff. Covers a the "rainy day" bingo square and a req from @strongsassysexysloane

Emily had sworn up and down that there was no way she was going to have to work this weekend, that her phone would remain on silent and there was nothing that would call her away from you. You’d been rescheduling your date day for what felt like weeks already and she was sick of it, wanting to make you her main priority.

Which is why when you rolled over Sunday morning, slowly waking up with a big yawn, you stretched out your body, expecting to feel her in the bed with you. Your eyes shot open when your hand hit her empty pillow and you frowned, glancing around the bedroom and for the briefest moment you grumbled. Your senses awakened, your ears picked up the music and quiet clattering coming from the kitchen and your lips curved up into a grin.

Pushing back the covers you shivered a little, frowning at the chill in the air, it was supposed to be spring, the weather was supposed to be warming up. You snagged a spare hoodie of Emily’s from a nearby chair and tugged it over your head before padding down the hallway to the kitchen. Your arm looped around her waist from behind while she was at the stove, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

“Thought you’d ran off on me.” You greeted, nuzzling into the crook of her neck and her free hand found your arm, squeezing softly.

“Not this weekend.” She assured, “I made a promise and there was no way I was gonna break it.”

“That’s why I love you so much.” You murmured, your head turning to look out the window, “awwehh.”

“What?” Emily stalled, spatula halfway to the pan in front of her, “I made them steamed sunny side up, just the way you like.”

“No.” You laughed with a small huff, kissing the side of her head before nudging at her to look to the side, “it’s raining. And like… really raining. That’s not gonna let up and I really wanted to go see the cherry blossoms today.”

“I know.” She flicked off the burner and turned in your arms, tilting your frown up to kiss you softly, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t have the perfect date day without leaving the apartment?”

“Oh yeah? You got a plan b?”

“I do.” She smiled, leaving a kiss on the tip of your nose, “and it was supposed to start with breakfast in bed, but I guess the couch will have to do.”

“You’re a sap, anyone ever tell you that?”

“No one who survived.” She teased back with a grin, nudging at your hip, “go get cozy, I’ll be right over.”

You happily dropped down onto the couch, pulling one of the blankets from the back of it down, happily tucking it around your legs, leaving the side open for Emily to easily slide into a few moments later. She first handed you a mug of coffee, made exactly how you liked it, letting you get those very needed first sips in. She watched with a smile at the way your shoulders dropped, your entire body relaxing at the warmth spreading through your veins.

“Perfect.” You smiled across at her, placing the mug on the coffee table so you could take the plate from her. The aforementioned eggs, extra bacon and homemade pancakes covered in a berry compote and side of fresh fruit. It was honestly a surprise she’d gotten that much done before you woke up. “Baby this looks amazing.”

“It had to be special.” She replied with a shrug, stealing a quick kiss before the two of you started to dig in.

Plates soon were strewn aside onto the coffee table as you sunk into the crook of Emily’s arm, burrowing under the blankets while she pressed gentle kisses to the top of your head. You let out a content sigh as you relaxed into her embrace, your gaze trained on the large living room windows, watching the rain dance down the glass.

“You know… it is kinda pretty.” You murmured and she hummed, lips brushing across your temple.

“It is. Maybe it’ll let up this afternoon, if it’s just drizzling we can still go out.”

It was directly after she finished her sentence that thunder cracked through the air and you let out a sigh, watching the way the droplets got bigger, hitting the glass with more ferocity.

“Are you sure you’re not some kind of witch?” You grumbled with a tease and Emily chuckled, pinching at your side.

“We’re already cozy here. Let’s throw on a couple of movies, our watch list is getting far too long.”

“That’s because someone keeps falling asleep halfway through.” You teased, prodding at her ribs as the two of you readjusted on the couch so you were facing the tv.

“Not my fault you’re just that comfortable.”

“Yeah, okay.” You laughed, curling into her side, your head resting on her shoulder while she grabbed the remote.

You settled on a romantic comedy to start off with, and Emily would spend the rest of the weekend teasing you because you were the one asleep within twenty minutes. Clearly that teeny sleep in this morning hadn’t been enough for you. Still, she left the movie playing, her hand softly rubbing up and down your back as you slept, your breath even and low. She couldn’t help but gaze down at you adoringly, watching the way the corner of your lips would twitch up into a tiny grin as you dreamt.

It was halfway through the movie when Sergio leapt up onto the couch, nuzzling himself in between the two of you, Emily’s free hand giving him a little scratch between the ears. She thought he would settle in but instead he let out a loud meow, nuzzling his face right against yours before licking your cheek and your face twitched as you started to slowly wake up.

“Hey bud.” You yawned, giving him a few pets before he head butted you again, turning to Emily to let out an even louder meow. “Did you forget to feed him this morning?”

“He still had food in his bowl from last night.” She replied with a shrug. In retaliation Sergio headbutted her, harder than yours and let out a rather annoyed meow. “Okay, okay.” She laughed, “calm down, I’ll give you some lunch.”

She left a kiss on the top of your head before scooping him up and slipping from under the blanket, making sure it was tucked around you properly before wandering back to the kitchen. She occupied Sergio with a couple of treats before making sure his water bowl was fresh and filling up his food bowl. She realized her stomach was starting to rumble and was sure you’d be feeling hungry soon too so she pulled open the fridge. Before either of you had bothered to think about checking the weather the night before, you’d prepped some mini pita sandwiches, wrapping them in foil to take with you down to the cherry blossoms. One glance out the window told her that likely wasn’t happening today so she grabbed them before returning to the couch.

“Hungry?” She asked, holding out one of the packages.

“Kinda, yeah.” You smiled up at her, leaning forward for a kiss, “thanks.”

She settled back onto the couch, arm winding around your shoulders as her gaze returned to the tv, “you want me to rewind this?”

“Nah.” You shook your head, “it was one you were more interested in anyways.”

Not much longer after lunch the first movie wrapped and you continued into the next one on your list. Sergio, satisfied with his feeding hopped back up onto the couch to snuggle between the two of you, purring at the endless pets and cuddles he received during the rest of the afternoon.

Emily offered to cook dinner but you squashed her plans insisting on pizza instead, your motivation being that you didn’t want her to leave the couch. You were a tangle of limbs at this point, only moving when one of you absolutely had to, multiple blankets wrapped around you to combat the chill of the rain outside. She cracked a bottle of wine when the pizza arrived and you were thankful to be enjoying some delicious food and fancy wine while curled up on the couch. Your third movie of the day started to come to its close, the credits beginning to roll on the screen and you felt Emily shift beside you as her gaze redirected to the window. She squeezed softly at you,

“Hey… I think it stopped raining.”

“So?” You asked with a laugh, looking outside, “it’s nearly eleven. We can’t go out now.”

“Who says?” She laughed, leaning down to kiss you gently, her hand stroking at your cheek, “besides I’m craving ice cream from that place on seventh, and they’re open til midnight.”

“Well if you’re promising me ice cream…”

“Baby you’ll be getting a lot more than ice cream tonight.” She grinned back and you laughed, gently nudging Sergio off your lap as you sat up.

“Alright, let me grab some leggings, I feel like its too cold for pj shorts.”

Twenty minutes later you were leaving Pitango Gelato with a decaf latte to share and a gelato each, cherry dark chocolate for Emily and matcha green tea for you. You thought you were headed back home but Emily suddenly made a left turn instead of right and your head tilted in confusion.

“Where’re we—”

“Don’t worry about it.” She replied with a soft smile, squeezing at your thigh and you simply smiled in return, figuring she had some other late night craving she needed to satisfy.

Ten minutes after that and she was pulling into the parking lot at Tidal Basin’s reservoir and you let out a soft gasp.

“Em…”

“What?” She asked with a small smile, glancing toward you as she undid her seatbelt, “you very specifically said you wanted to see the cherry blossoms today. And my girl gets what she wants.”

“You fucking sap.” You giggled, lurching forward to kiss her before slipping out of the car.

You’d basically finished your gelato on the drive over, more hungry for a sweet than you’d realized, dumping the empty container in a garbage can not far from the car. Which meant you had a free hand to carry the coffee while the other quickly wrapped around Emily’s arm as you began your walk. The pathway was quiet due to the late hour, light reflecting off the water of the lake and the rain water left on the ground. There was a calmness in the air, moonlight shining down bright over the two of you as you nuzzled close to Emily.

“It’s almost even more beautiful right now.” You murmured as you reached the cherry blossoms, glistening with rain drops in the moonlight. The rain from earlier had caused some of the petals to fall from the trees, coating the pathway with them, it was as if you were stepping into an enchanted forest.

“You know what the best part is?” Emily asked, her gelato now gone, snagging the coffee from you.

“What?” You asked with a grin, glancing up at her.

“Look around.” She nodded, taking a moment to place the coffee down on a bench before she stepped back to you, grabbing your hand in hers and she twirled you under her arm. “Right now… it’s all just for us.”

You let out a small giggle, watching at the way the petals around your feet flurried up when Emily spun you, pulling you close to her. A gust of wind picked up, blowing through the trees and you both glanced up, watching as the flowers shivered in the air, tree branches shaking and petals danced down through the air onto both of you. It was a complete moment of bliss, enamoured both with life and with each other, a sense of serenity washing over you because you both knew there was absolutely nowhere else in the world you would rather be than in this moment, right now, in each other’s arms. Pink petals decorated Emily’s hair like delicate snowflakes and you couldn’t help but smile at how beautiful she looked. You plucked one off, holding it in your palm before you glanced up to her,

“Make a wish.” You prompted and she chuckled, but the grin stayed on her face as you both silently made your wishes and with a small nod from you, you both blew the flower off your hand, watching it get caught in the wind and carried off into the night sky.

“What’d you wish for?” Emily asked, pulling you tight to her, pressing a kiss to the side of your head and you poked at her side.

“You know I can’t tell you that.” You replied with a giggle, turning to face her, your arms looping around her shoulders. “But what I can tell you, is that this was the greatest date day I’ve had in a long time. And that I love you to the moon and back.”

Emily smiled, practically melting as she gazed at you, eyes sparkling in the moonlight as she ducked down to kiss you tenderly, lips moving with ease against yours in an all too familiar dance you both adored. “You’re my everything and I will love you forever.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

——————————

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @melindawarnersgf @somethingimaginative17 @temilyrights @alexxavicry @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @ilovemycrayons @mandy-asimp @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @m00nkn1ghts @supercriminalbean @daffodil-heart @its-soph-xx @going-gray y @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @hopelesslyfallenninlove @peanutbutterprincess @kdaghay @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @s1ut4nat @midnight-sapphic @scorpsik @prentiss-theorem @unsubologyy @happenstnces @sapphicprentiss @heidss @geekyandgay98 @pagetboobstarcomments @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @aws-l @akingcalledkris @desperate-gay @amypoehlfey @overtrred28 @emobabeyy @1974-sp @theclassicgaycousin @kalixxa @regalmilfs4me

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss fanfiction #k2023bdaybingo

[oneshotnewbie]

Since when do you write for Emily Prentiss? But guess I have to request now; could you do something with readers failed attempt to kill herself after kidnapping, torture and not keeping up with life, Emily and jj visiting her at the hospital and talk to her?

⚠️Trigger warning!⚠️ This one-shot includes the topic of a failed suicide attempt, blood/bleeding wounds, depression. The plots are presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

Summary: There is a persistent ache that claws at you. What do you do when it all becomes too much and your hollow bones that hold yourself in one piece crack and let you sink further into the dark? What if the only way out of the living hell is to unalive yourself?

---

Blood trickled down your pale, slightly grayish skin in a couple of slow, red branches, creating a fascinating contrast to the bluish stinging veins in your arms. You were fascinated that the loss of this red, viscous liquid could weaken the body so drastically and minimize your consciousness.

As soon as the sharp metal had torn your tender skin apart, the elixir of life flowed more and more out of your body, leaving behind a strange, dull feeling of weakness and tiredness. The spread fingers of your hand, stretched out to the ceiling were tainted reddish and tiny drops made it onto your white shirt.

It was nighttime and you lay on your back on your bed, your eyes fixed on the stream of blood that sluggishly gushed from the oblong wound, making a mess around you. The silver blade you used to make the cut, lay long forgotten on the covers beside you; ruining them.

The wound was deep, deeper than the marks before; the large dark red stains on your white night shirt betrayed the enormous loss of blood. Your arm had become heavy for a long time, but you could still hold it up; close above your head where your dull gaze could follow the speckle as life dripped from you drop by drop.

You were hoping so badly that if you would cut deep enough, you would feel at least a glimmer of emotion. Some feeling. But instead, you only got a yawning emptiness, as so often lately. You felt as if all the emotions that a person feels in their life had left you and your body as dull, undriven and emotionless shell.

Your life has never been easy; you have had to struggle through it since you were a child. You did not have a hold that people around you could offer you. For your father, you were another disappointment in his life and your mother had not been interested in you since your sibling was born.

Suddenly, you were a glass child.

It amazed you, that you had reached adulthood at all and that you had achieved something in your life on your own. After all, not everyone made it into the FBI as a profiler at such a young age. Nevertheless, it would not have been surprising if your life force had already left you in your youth.

Excluded, laughed at, ignored. Pain followed. Inner pain.

Your arm had begun to tremble in the air and yet you felt no pain, just a dull and sluggish throbbing. You would not be able to hold your arm up for much longer.

Your thoughts began to grow heavier and foggy, almost as if they were pouring out with the blood from your slashed arm, and you saw this as the last opportunity to send Emily a single, final message while your declining strength and shaky finger still allowed it.

"Horrible things linger in the path of our life and sometimes, you are able to fight them off but sometimes you can not help but fall into those which take you apart piece by piece," you began to type when you managed to fish your phone off the bedside table. The blood smearing on the screen made it difficult for you. "Just know that after the dark, the light will always arrive for you. Always wait for it to arrive, even if the pain of sitting in the dark by yourself is too much. I love you, Em."

It was ironic that you had encouraged her to do what you could not bring yourself to do. However, it was important to you that she knew and understood how to go on without stopping and let things weigh her down.

You laid back again and waited for the moment when you would close your eyes forever and not wake up. Even the derisive ringing and vibrating of your phone did not bring you out of your rigid state. Your body was heavy and paralyzed, your mind long gone.

Emily´s desperate call went nowhere. It was too late.

Bright moonlight broke through the cloud, which has loosened and shone like a silvery glow through the open window of your bedroom. The drops of blood glowed like liquid rubies and the shadows in front of your eyes seemed to lengthen, merging everything around you into a shapeless black spell.

A strong cold shock enveloped you and your ever slow, flickering heartbeat slackened in your chalk-pale body.

---

For the first time in days, a feeling filled your chest, hidden beneath all the narcotics coursing through your system and pain: Fear. Something was not right here, the last thing you remembered was the feeling of liquid spreading over you and the smothering feeling just before the darkness claimed you.

"Emily, I think she is waking up," whispered a raspy voice, wrapped in creaking noises of wood.

You shuddered and with the last of your strength, turned your head to the side. There, in the chair next to you, someone was sitting. A form of slender statue, clad in the color of night. Her dirty blonde, wavy, long hair fell over her shoulders and her face was wrinkled with concern.

Heavy soles were quickly dragged across the floor and towards the bed you laid in; dark brown eyes fixed on you warily. You, however, were too perplexed to move, your body still exhausted from the loss of blood your body had to endure. "Y/n? Sweetheart, can you hear me?"

Relieved, Emily stood by your bed, her warm hand resting on your pale forehead. Unaccustomed to the sudden touch, you twitched under it. "Em.." you muttered in a voice so weak you were afraid she could not hear you at all. "Where am I?"

Words trailed off in the unusual bare room while a second hand gently caressed the bandaged wound on your arm. "You are in the hospital," the dark haired replied. "You tried to take your own life."

After your message, Emily felt so insecure and scared that she went to your apartment at 3am, used the spare key to get in after you had not opened the door and found you. That thought made it into your foggy mind momentarily and a spark of fear spread through you.

"Why did you do that?" blue, bloodshot, and tear-stained eyes fixed your injured body laying beneath the covers with a sharp glare. With a barely noticeable shake of her head, the blonde pointed again at your bandage, which contained some remnant of your blood after your surgery. "Why did you not talk to us?"

You stared glassy-eyes up at Emily and then JJ, wondering how to answer her. Anyone else´s words would have sounded reproachful or disapproving, but coming from her, it sounded like sincere interest. You could not remember the last time you had experienced something like this from someone other than your team.

Both waited patiently for an answer and the black-haired one slowly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. The clammy feeling inside you grew stronger and with a slap in the face, clarity returned to your battered mind. And with it, the pain that stood out through the bitter burning in your arm.

In that moment, you welcomed the feeling. Even that was better than this helpless and completely destructive emptiness."I could not take it anymore," you smiled lightly to hold back your tears. Without success, as it turned out. You quietly fixed your gaze from Emily to the cool blue eyes on the other side of your bed. "There is this emptiness inside me that can not be filled with anything. I wanted it all to end."

The black-haired nodded, knowing exactly what you were talking about. She sat down slowly and carefully on the free edge of the bed and stroked your forehead forlornly. It was a gesture of attempted consolation and full affection, sending a chill down your spine. "Your life?

"No," you managed only a weak shake of your head and a soft sigh escaped the colorless and cracked lips. "I wanted this nothingness to stop. It is like I am frozen inside and everything is black and empty. I was hoping so badly that the pain I caused myself would wake me up, but nothing came."

It felt good, almost comforting, to be able to talk to someone you trusted about what was on your mind. It was the first sensible time in your life that you had confided in anyone. After all, nobody else was interested. But both JJ and Emily had become like a family to you over the past few months and showed their attention and caring towards you.

"If we had lost you..," Emily spoke with fear in her usually strong voice. Her fawn eyes looked thoughtful, as if she were struggling for words and the scenario of ´what if´ as playing on repeat in her head. "..you would have torn and left a huge hole in my life," she finally continued, tears glistening in her eyes that she could hardly contain.

With a sad look on her face, the black-haired profiler leaned over to gently enclose you in her arms. "Please stay here, I do not want you to go. Your nearness is so comforting and my smile near you is genuine. The warmth you kindle within me warms me even in the dead of winter," it slipped out of her mouth before she realized what she was revealing.

Surprise flashed in your bright but tired eyes and you gave her a long look. Her body reflected strong longing, sadness and unspeakable pain that made you tremble. "I am sorry," a breathless, gasped response split your lips and you could feel a twinge of regret in your heart. You wanted to kill that dull feeling inside you, but you did not want to hurt anyone outside with it. You did not realized that you meant so much to someone. "I am just a walking and living disaster that is waiting to be unleashed."

"Yeah. But you are our beautiful disaster and we would not have it any other way," replied JJ and tenderly kissed the back of the hand that she had previously clasped in both of hers; her thumb still circling soothing around it. "We are hear for you, baby cakes. Always."

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x fem!reader #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss x jennifer jareau #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss imagine #emily prentiss imagines #jennifer jareau #jennifer jj jareau #jj jareau #jennifer jareau x you #jennifer jareau x reader #jj x reader #jj x you #jennifer jareau imagine #jennifer jareau fanfiction #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds oneshot #fanfic #fanfiction #oneshot #imagine #imagines #x reader

[sequinsmile-x]

Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too

“We know about you and Agent Hotchner.” 

“Oh,” she says softly, clearing her throat as she bites the inside of her cheek and attempts to read their reactions, “You know?” 

Her father nods solemnly, the same look on his face he’d had when she accidentally broke a priceless vase when she was 9. It makes her feel like a teenager, like a kid who didn’t know any better, not like a woman just shy of her 23rd birthday. 

Emily and Aaron's love story, and how they never let go of each other's hand.

-x-

Hi friends,

This is a birthday present for the lovely @prentissinred!! I am forever grateful that this fandom and our mutual love of these idiots brought you into my life <3 And, here's hoping we get to hang out again at some point this year.

Love you very much, and I hope you enjoy another instalment of young hotchniss!

-x-

Words: 5.2k

Warnings: Estrangement from parents

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

September 1993

She feels anxiety spark in her chest the moment she turns onto her parent’s driveway, the oppressive nature of the forcing her to blow out a shaky breath even from the other side of the gate. 

Even though she was living back in DC after finishing her masters she didn’t see them very often. Their relationship had always been strained, her resistance to be controlled like they wanted to control her, to fit perfectly into their lives, something she hadn’t grown out of once she left her teenage years like they hoped she would.

If she had a choice, she wouldn’t even be there this evening. She’d be at Aaron’s place, snuggled under a blanket on his couch as they ate Chinese food from the restaurant down the street from his apartment building. She’d be spending the evening with someone who loved her for who she was, not who they wanted her to be. But her dad had called her, something that was even rarer than her mother calling, and he’d asked her to come to dinner, an edge to his voice she didn’t remember hearing before, and her curiosity had won out.  

She punches in the key for the gate without thinking about it. The number had always been the same, something that had driven every security professional her mom had ever hired crazy. It makes her smile as she thinks of her boyfriend, of how he’d still mention the code to the gate, his dry sense of humour something that never failed to make her laugh, and she shakes her head. She wishes he could be here with her and be by her side, but her parents didn’t know that they were together and, even though they’d been together for over a year, she didn’t want to tell them yet. 

Part of it was a desire to protect him. He thought he understood how the world she had come from worked, that he’d figured it all out in the few months he worked for her parents on behalf of the FBI. 

She frowns when the gate doesn’t open, and the small light under the number pad flashes red, she puts in the number again, making sure she pays attention this time, and the same thing happens. 

“If that’s a sign I should just turn around and leave I don’t know what is,” she grumbles to herself before hitting the intercom, tucking her hair behind her ears as she waits for it to click through. 

“Hello?” 

She smiles softly at the sound of the housekeeper's voice, “Vanessa, hi, it’s Emily. The gate doesn’t seem to be working.” 

“Miss Prentiss,” Vanessa answers, “I’ll open it for you now.” 

“Thank you.” 

The gate is almost agonisingly slow as it opens, but she takes the time to try and centre herself, sighing as she briefly checks her reflection in the rearview mirror. She makes sure her lipstick isn’t smudged, smiling softly at herself as she thinks of the gentle kiss Aaron had pressed against her lips before she left his place, and then she sits back in her seat and drives further up the driveway. 

By the time she’s sitting in her parent's living room, her anxiety increases, mixed with the usual sense of irritation she had whenever she was here. This place had never been home to her, not really. They’d rarely spent more than a few months here at a time when she was young, moving from country to country based on her mother’s placements, so she’d never had a chance to settle, to feel relaxed here. Ironically, the longest she’d ever been here at one time was the summer between her undergrad and her master's. 

The summer she met Aaron. 

She’s pulled out of her train of thought as her parents walk into the room, and she stands up, hugging them both as they exchange greetings, and then she sits back down on the couch and they sit on the couch opposite. 

“How are you, Emily?” Elizabeth asks as she sits down, “It’s been a while since you called.”

Emily smiles tightly, stopping herself from replying that phones called both ways, that she never called her either. Instead, she clears her throat, and takes some sort of twisted comfort in the fact she’d made out with Aaron more than once where her parents were currently sitting.

“I’m good,” she answers, using the skills they’d taught her when she was young against them, her ability to say so much by saying so little was one of the things they had passed on, one of the ways they’d so often have conversations without really saying anything at all. “I got confirmation I start the academy in January.” 

She knew they didn’t approve of her decision to join the FBI and their reactions confirm it, the slight tightening of her mother’s shoulders and the way her father sits up a little straighter telling her all it ever needed to. They thought it was below her and had said as much, claiming that the education they had paid for could offer her so much more than the career she was choosing, but it didn’t deter her. 

It was part of the reason she was hesitant to tell them about her and Aaron’s relationship. She knew they’d take it to mean that she was doing this purely because of him, that she was being led by her almost 30-year-old boyfriend to follow in his footsteps, and the thought of it drove her crazy, another reminder that they didn’t know her at all.

When had she ever done something because someone else wanted her to? 

“I see,” her father says, clearing his throat as he looks at his daughter, “Is there anything else you need to tell us?” 

She stares at them for a moment, her heart skipping a beat in her chest as she licks her lower lip, and she shakes her head, feigning innocence, “What else would there be?” 

Her mother sighs and looks over at her father before she looks back at Emily, a flicker of disappointment that she was familiar with and something new, something she couldn’t put a name to. 

“Emily,” Elizabeth says, clasping her hands together in her lap to stop herself from picking at her nails, a habit Emily had picked up from her when she was small, “We know about you and Agent Hotchner.” 

For a moment, it feels like the air is sucked out of the room. She stares at her parents as she tries to think of what to say, already aware it is too late to deny it. She knows that they hadn’t been particularly subtle over the summer, and it wasn’t entirely a shock to learn that her parents had found out about her relationship with the man they’d hired to co-ordinate security at the house whilst they were away, but she’d wanted to tell them on her terms. 

Emily had never been close to either of her parents, and she didn’t have a relationship with them where she shared details of her life when she didn’t need to. But she was serious about Aaron, the 15 months they’d been together now largely in secret some of the happiest of her life, and she knew it was time to come clean. 

“Oh,” she says softly, clearing her throat as she bites the inside of her cheek and attempts to read their reactions, “You know?” 

Her father nods solemnly, the same look on his face he’d had when she accidentally broke a priceless vase when she was 9. It makes her feel like a teenager, like a kid who didn’t know any better, not like a woman just shy of her 23rd birthday. 

“Yes, Emily,” he says, “We know.” 

The nerves she’d felt earlier as she walked into the house make themselves known again, making her chest tight and capturing the breath she’d sucked in, holding it in place, as she watches her parents look at each other before they look back at yer, both privy to something she does not yet know about. 

___

He’d only popped out to get ice cream.

Aaron knew she’d be upset and irritated when she came home from her parents, she always was, and he realised he was out of any of the sweet food she liked so he’d gone out to get it. He sighs as he steps out of the store and sees that it has started pouring rain since he got there. He tucks the ice cream under his arm and starts to jog towards his building, grateful that he’d only gone to the place a block away. He frowns as he gets closer to his building, his pace increasing when he sees her sitting on the steps, seemingly unaware she is getting soaked to the bone. 

“Em?” He asks, coming to a stop in front of her, sitting on the step next to her when she doesn’t react, not caring about the material of his pants sticking to his skin. She jumps slightly as he cups her chin to make her look at him, seemingly only just realising he was there, “What are you doing, sweetheart?” He asks, encouraging her to stand, his hand on her back, “You’ve got a key you could have gone in.” 

She nods absentmindedly, rain dripping down the slope of her nose, her dark hair plastered to her skin, “Yeah, sorry.” 

His concern only deepens, swirling in his gut as he leads her up the stairs, his hand never leaving her back as he almost drops the ice cream whilst he digs his keys out of his pocket, “Nothing to apologise for sweetheart,” he assures her, kissing the side of her head, “Let’s get you inside.” 

She’s silent as they walk to his apartment and he doesn’t push her, worst-case scenarios floating through his mind as he unlocks his front door. He puts the pint of ice cream down on the side table and shrugs off his coat, letting it drop to the floor as he leads her to the couch. He pulls the blanket off the back of it and wraps it around her as he encourages her to sit down. 

“Aaron, the couch I’ll ruin-”

“I don’t care about that,” he says, sitting on the edge of the coffee table, his knees on either side of hers as he reaches for her hands, wincing at how cold her skin is, “You’re freezing.” 

She chuckles dryly and nods as he covers her hands with his, easily enveloping them as he tries to press warmth into her skin. She’d almost loved his hands, the comfort they gave her. They were one of the first few things she’d noticed about him, how large they were, how they made his cell phone look like nothing more than a child’s toy. She remembers the first time she held his hand, the first time she felt the strength she’d spent weeks imagining shifting under his skin as she led him out of a party her parents were hosting. 

She’d kissed him that night, the first of many, the start of a new chapter of her life. 

“Yeah, I guess I am,” she says, only now realising how cold she felt, shivering violently under the blanket she’d napped under more than once. She swallows thickly as her eyes meet his, concern and love swirling in his gaze and she blows out a slow breath, “My parents know about us.”

He raises his eyebrows, unable to control his surprise, “Oh,” he says, still rubbing his hands against hers, “I thought you weren’t going to tell them yet.” 

He didn’t blame her for not wanting to tell them. He knew their relationship was difficult, that it always had been, and he never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable. He knew what it was like to have the parents you wanted, to not be able to share things with them. In a strange way, he thinks it’s one of the reasons he and Emily worked so well. They understood each other in a way so few people did, their childhoods wildly different yet painted with similar themes.

“I didn’t tell them,” she says, pressing her lips together and shaking her head, choking on a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, “They already knew.” 

They fall into silence and he watches her carefully, how she shrinks back into herself, her face turned to press into the blanket around her shoulders as she breathes in the scent of it, “I’m assuming because of your general demeanour it didn’t go well.” 

She laughs and shakes her head, “No, it didn’t go well,” she looks at him, “They…they told me if I didn’t break up with you they’d cut me off. Take away the trust fund.” 

“What?” He asks, his grip on her tightening, anger and irritation licking at his insides as he clenches his teeth. It seemed absurd, ludicrous that they’d threaten such a thing to their only child just because she dared to be happy in a way they didn’t understand. 

She nods, “They think it’s best if I end up with someone more like me,” she says, shaking her head, “And they live in a world where money is at the centre of everything so…” she shrugs, “I guess that’s how they think they can control me.” 

The silence is awkward for a moment as he tries to read her, tries to figure out if her demeanour is because she has to break up with him and doesn’t know how to. He knew exactly how much money was in that trust fund. She’d told him once, casually mentioning the millions of dollars she had to her name and how it paid for her rent, how one day she hoped it would pay for a house she would buy. Something she considered to be full circle, using the money that had meant she hadn’t ever had a home to get one. 

“What did you tell them?” He asks carefully, making sure his voice is even and soft. He wouldn’t blame her if she made that choice. Haley had left him for a whole lot less than potentially losing her parents and more money than most people saw in their lives. 

“I told them to go fuck themselves,” she says bluntly., her eyes finally meeting him, a desperate laugh escaping her chest as she shakes her head.

He laughs too, her responses shocking him as he shakes his head, “Em-”

“I literally said that to them,” she says, cutting him off, unaware he’d even started to speak, “I told them to go fuck themselves,” she repeats, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling, “You should have seen my mother’s face.” 

Aaron can’t explain the guilt that washes over him, hot and overwhelming as he looks at her, her hair still stuck to her skin as she sits wide-eyed in front of him, “Sweetheart,” he says carefully, unhooking one of his hands from around hers and cupping her chin, “I’d understand if…”

She feels her heartbreak as he drifts off, the words he hadn’t said hanging in the air around them, heavy and suffocating. She knows he means it, that he’d happily accept her breaking up with him because of her parent's ultimatum, and she shifts forward so she’s closer to him, one of her hands on his cheek.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” she says firmly, the relief on his face palpable, only making her ache more, “And it’s not even about us really, or you,” she says, “They would have done this no matter what, used this as leverage over me for my whole life if I ever did something they didn’t agree with. This way I’m free.” 

“To be who you want to be.” 

She smiles at how he’s phrased it, how he’s centred her in it and not himself or their relationship, “Yeah,” she says, pressing her lips together as she nods, “I can be who I want to be,” she blows out a shaky breath and rests her forehead against his, “I’ll have to move out of my place. Even if I could find a way to continue to afford it…I don’t want them to know where I live.” There were so many things she hadn’t even thought of yet, so many details she’d have to consider and change now she no longer had contact with them, but a place to live was her main concern, “I don’t know if you’re ready for a roommate-”

“Sweetheart,” he says, cupping the back of her head as he pulls back to look at her, “You practically live here anyway. I was actually trying to figure out how to ask you to move in.” 

She raises her eyebrows at him, her eyes shining with tears he knows she’ll wait until they are in bed to shed, the comfort of his embrace and the safety of his bedroom the place where she could finally let go. “Really?” 

He smiles at her disbelief, at the way she frowns at him and he nods, “Really. Just ask Dave, I’ve been asking him for advice,” he kisses her cheek and then stands up, encouraging her to do the same, “Come one, let's go get you in the shower and then into bed, I don’t want you getting sick.” 

She nods and lets him lead her to the bathroom, her head against his shoulder as they walk together, both of them aware that they had so much more to talk about, but that it could wait. 

In the morning, they find the melted pint of ice cream on the side table, and Emily doesn’t think she’s ever loved someone as much as she loves him when he goes to buy her some more.

___

January 1998

Aaron chuckles as Emily crawls under the covers of their bed, sighing loudly as she sits next to him and rests her head on his shoulder. 

“Long day?” He asks jokingly, as if they hadn’t spent the whole day together, and he presses a kiss to her forehead

She hums as she raises her eyebrow, “I don’t know how you’ve worked with Gideon and Dave as long as you have.” 

He smiles and tucks some of her hair behind her ear, making sure to stroke her cheek as he does so, “They aren’t that bad.” 

She’d only recently joined the BAU, a decision that had been delayed by the Section Chief being unsure if she wanted a husband and wife working together on the same team. Ultimately, her track record, and what she’s sure was not a small amount of meddling from Dave, spoke for itself and her transfer from Counterterrorism was approved. 

“Whatever you say, honey,” she grumbles. She watches as he clenches his hand in and out of a fist a few times, his brow furrowing as he suppresses a groan of pain. “Is your hand hurting?” She asks, already knowing the answer when he stops flexing his hand, a soft smile on his face that lets her know he hadn’t even realised he’d been doing it.

“A little,” he replies, playing down the ache in his palm like he always had, “It’s always worse when it’s cold.” 

He was 13 when it happened. 

He’d gotten in between his father and his mother and walked away with what he would later find out were two broken bones in his hand. He hadn’t been taken to the hospital, the injury treated instead by bandages, ice and a guilty smile from his mom as she assured him it would be fine. It was years later when he was in hospital for an unrelated injury, a sprained wrist he’d got during training at the academy, when he found out the bones had been broken all those years ago. The doctor who told him said that the bones hadn’t healed properly, and the persistent pain he’d felt for half his life would be permanent. 

Emily knew about it, they had no secrets from each other, and he remembered the mix of sadness and anger in her eyes when he told her. How she’d looked outraged and devastated for the teenage version of him in equal measure. She’d asked if she could help, if there was some way she could make him feel better, and he’d told her massaging it made the ache go away.

She smiles softly at him as she reaches for his right hand and holds it between both of hers, she presses her thumbs in an upward motion on his palm. She makes sure her touch is firm enough to push out the tension but gentle enough that she doesn’t hurt him. She repeats the motion again and again, the ache dissipating as she does. As if she wasn’t only helping with the pain, but with removing his father’s violence and his mother’s indifference from his past, from where it lingered under his skin, and replacing it with her love and affection, two things she always gave him freely and without condition. 

It was how they loved each other, how they’d built their life just the two of them. 

She hadn’t spoken to her parents since the night they’d given her the ultimatum. She’d removed herself from any circle where they may overlap, no longer wanting anything to do with people who tried to force her into a box she had never truly fit into. She’d found a job in the few months between it happening and her starting at the academy. She worked as a waitress in a diner with bright pink seats and an exuberant owner, serving coffee and all-day breakfast to people who barely looked at her. Aaron would rub her feet when she got home from work and tell her she didn’t have to do it if she didn’t want to, that they’d get by on his salary for a few months if they needed to, but she’d been insistent, desperate to have something to do in the long days when he was at work. 

They still went to that diner occasionally. It’s where they’d gone for lunch after they got married at city hall, neither of them wanting a fuss about something that simply felt like the next step for them. They’d left a generous tip when the owner refused to let them pay for their meal and left hand in hand, their hearts and stomachs full and their smiles wide. 

She’d never for a second doubted that she’d done the right thing by refusing to give into her parents demands, but the life she’d built with Aaron was worth more to her than any of the money she’d lost. 

They had a house together, a mortgage. They had bills and disagreements about the best way to budget, and it was so beautifully ordinary sometimes it made her ache. 

“Is it feeling any better?” She asks, still concentrating on massaging his hand.

“My hand always feel better the moment you hold it,” he replies and she shakes her head as she laughs. 

“You say the most ridiculous shit,” she says and she raises his hand to her lips to kiss his fingertips. 

“And yet you married me anyway.” 

She smiles as she looks up at him, “Yeah,” she says softly, kissing him, putting everything she felt for him into it, “I did.” 

___

“I am going to kill Jason.” 

Aaron clears his throat and raises his eyebrow at his wife, “Sweetheart,” he says, waiting until she stops pacing and looks over at him, her arms tight over her chest, “Maybe stop threatening our friend in front of the doctor?” 

She clenches her teeth and looks back and forth between Aaron and the doctor standing next to the gurney he was sitting on, blood splattered from his forehead down his face and onto your shirt.  

“Jason is your friend, not mine,” she corrects, “Especially after today.” 

It was like it had happened in slow motion as she watched an unsub lash out at him, grabbing Jason’s gun from his holster and hitting Aaron in the forehead as they attempted to restrain him. Aaron had briefly lost consciousness. Every second he was out felt like a lifetime to her, everything else around them disappearing as she desperately tried to wake him up. 

It wasn’t even close to the worst injury either of them had been on the receiving end of since they’d joined the FBI, but it didn’t make it any easier. She hated when he was hurt, hated the reminder that so much of her happiness was reliant on him, but she knew that was the price for love. 

It was a price she’d happily pay for the rest of her life. 

She knew Aaron felt the same way. She’d had her appendix removed shortly after they’d got married, and he’d been a wreck. It made her wonder what he’d be like when they eventually had a baby or two, something they both wanted when the time was right, and the thought of it never failed to make her smile. The image of her usually unflappable husband on edge as she brought their kid into the world something she couldn’t wait to see. 

She wanted to build their family, to have even more of her husband to love, but whenever he suggested starting to try she put it off. No matter how much she wanted it, she couldn’t shift the feeling that she’d be like her mother. That the lack of maternal skills were genetic, and it wasn’t in her to be the mother she so desperately wanted to be. 

Aaron smiles at his wife and reaches out for her, offering her his hand, “Come here, Em.” 

She sighs and walks over, sitting on the edge of the gurney as she sandwiches his hand in between hers, squeezing tightly, “Need me to hold your hand whilst you get your stitches?” 

He smiles softly, “Always,” he says, winking at her, “It will be good practice for when we eventually have a kid, anyone that’s half you will inevitably end up in a few scrapes.” 

She chokes on a laugh and nods, unable to stop herself from smiling at the thought of their kid. Someone half him and half her with a scraped knee insisting that they were fine. All her anxieties disappear for a moment and she simply lines forward and presses a kiss to his lips. 

She hums as she pulls back and squeezes his hand again, “That’s a lot of talk for a man who’s about to have his forehead stitched back together.” 

___

June 2003

She relaxes the moment she parks on the driveway. 

She wastes no time in getting out of the car, desperate to see her husband and their little girl even though she’d only been out for a few hours. Penelope had convinced her to go out for dinner with her and JJ, claiming it had been far too long since they’d last done so, and she’d agreed at Aaron’s insistence. 

Emily smiles as she opens the front door, “Honey, I’m home,” she calls out, surprised when she’s not greeted by either Aaron or Evelyn. The four-year-old would usually run to her, her smile wide as she threw herself into her mother’s arms. She furrows her brows, “Hello?” 

“We’re in the living room,” Aaron calls back and she smiles as she starts to walk towards them, looking forward to spending some time with her family. 

It was strange to think it had almost been 10 years since she’d last seen her parents, since what she thought would be a normal, awkward dinner with them had turned into the ultimatum that had permanently torn them apart. She was proud of what she’d built from nothing, of the fact her daughter would never doubt that she was loved unconditionally like she once had, and she never looked back. 

She smiles as she steps into the living room, her heart swelling in her chest as she stops in the doorway, her eyes fixed on Aaron and Evelyn. Aaron was sitting with their daughter in his lap, she was already dressed in her Spiderman pjyamas and had her hair in neat pigtails. She had Aaron’s hand in between hers and she was rubbing her thumbs up and down his palm, her tongue sticking out as she concentrates on what she was doing. 

“What’s all this?” Emily asks as she walks over, sitting down on the couch next to them. She stamps a kiss against Evelyn’s forehead and then Aaron’s lips, “Hi.” 

“Hi,” he replies, kissing her again, “Evie here is helping with my hand.” 

She has to press her lips together to stop her smile from getting too wide, sure her cheeks would ache with it. She cups her daughter’s cheek and smiles at her as she looks up, “You’re helping Daddy, huh?” 

Evelyn nods enthusiastically, “Just like you do.” 

When she’d first found out they were having a girl she’d panicked, her fear that she would turn into her own mother seemingly coming to life. Aaron had talked her down just like he always did, comforting her with his love and patience like he had learnt to do that very first summer together. Every fear had been unfounded just like he said it would be, the moment she’d first held Evelyn she knew she’d do anything to protect her, to make sure she knew she was loved. 

She’d never understood her mother less than when she’d become one herself. She thought about her more in the last few years than she had in the first few they’d been estranged. She wondered what her mother had felt when she watched her take her first steps, or the first time she said Mama. She wondered if she’d felt as nervous about her starting school as Emily felt about Evelyn starting in the fall. 

It was a constant reminder of what she never had, and what she never would, but what she’d always make sure her little girl would never doubt. 

“That’s so sweet, baby,” Emily says, kissing Evelyn’s forehead, “Why don’t you go brush your teeth and then Daddy and I will come up and read you a story in a little bit?” 

She nods enthusiastically and jumps off the couch, running out of the room quickly, her pigtails flapping behind her. Emily waits until she’s out of earshot and she reaches for her husband's hand, linking their fingers together. 

“Did she help with the pain?” 

“Not at all, her hands are way too small,” he says, smiling at her, “But she offered and it was so cute I couldn’t say no.” 

She chuckles and stamps a kiss against his lips, “Once she’s asleep I’ll do it for you.” 

He hums and kisses her again, “Thanks, sweetheart,” he says, “Once it’s all better, I’ll thank you properly.” 

She bites her lower lip and winks at him, “You’ve got a deal.” 

-x-

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[veeluvss]

My Girl, Lily Prentiss (9)

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"Lils," Emily shouted through the flat. "Come here hun." She heard the familiar footsteps and banging as she pictured her daughter jump over the back of the sofa, trudge through the living room and into the kitchen where she stood. Clad in one of Emily's old jumpers, she was looking a lot healthier two months down the line. Emily was taking some time off, not only to heal but to make sure the adoption process went through okay - and to get used to being a parent. She was loving it so far. 

"Yes mum?" Lily asked, sliding into one of the chairs at the dinner table. Emily wasn't quite used to hearing that yet, such an endearing term. According to JJ, she'd never get used to it. "How do you feel about coming into work with me tomorrow?" Prentiss set a coffee on the table for her daughter and slid into one of the opposite seats. As much as Lily had warmed up to Emily, she was yet to warm up to the team. She knew they loved her, she knew how amazing they were but she was so skeptical with new people - she had only spoken to JJ and Rossi and that was when they came over. JJ was nice to her, hugging her, kissing her forehead. JJ was like Emily but not quite. Rossi was like her grandpa she never had. He made jokes with her but he was so patient with her, being gentle and such a calming presence. He made her laugh. 

"It won't be for long. I have to go in and speak to the director. Then if the team are all free, we're going to go out for dinner," Emily contiued, noticing Lily's silence.  "I'm not sure," Lily responded, blowing on her coffee. "They all stare."  "They don't stare baby, they might try hug you and talk to you but as soon as we've said our hellos then you're free to stop speaking to them. Rossi said you can stay in his office if you'd like, you can stay in mine too but I won't be there."  "JJ?" "JJ will be at her desk most likely, you can sit with her too but she's in the bullpen. You can do what you like sweetheart, as long as you're comfortable," Emily explained, softly.  Lily nodded, agreeing to go with Emily tomorrow. 

That night, Lily curled up in her mum's bed, bringing her knees to her chest and waiting for Prentiss to climb in next to her. Emily smiled, coming out of the bathroom.  "You have your own bedroom you know," she smirked. She'd tease Lily but she wouldn't change it for the world. Lily just stuck her tongue out at Em and waited for her to lay down properly so she can cuddle up close, and feel her warmth.  "Goodnight darling," Emily whispered, wrapping her arms around her small frame and pulling her closer. She turned out the light and let the darkness seep in.  "Goodnight Emmy, I love you," Lily replied.  "I love you too, angel." 

The two walked into the BAU and was greeted with cheers, balloons, music and happy people. Everyone began singing happy birthday as loudly as they could and Emily smiled taking her Birthday girl's hand. Lily teared up looking at the group around her.  "Happy Birthday to Lily," everyone cheered. "Happy Birthday to you!" Garcia let off some party poppers and JJ brought over the cake for her to blow out the candles. Lily, despite suddenly being the centre of attention, hadn't felt a warmth like it in forever. She felt loved, safe and happy and she couldn't stop the wide smile from forming on her face.  "Happy Birthday sweet girl," Emily smiled, wrapping her arms around her daughter and kissing her forehead.  "How did you know it was my birthday?" Lily asked her.  "I signed your adoption papers doofus," Emily laughed, hugging her tighter. 

The team celebrated together, eating cake and then Lily was shown to the round table room. She'd seen it before, to go over technicalities of the case involving her brothers but now, it was fully decorated and on the table was a large, very large pile of presents. They were all wrapped in the same paper, some had large bows on them, and every single one said her name. 

"All for me?" she asked, turning to the team behind her.  "All for you cherry pie!" Garcia smiled, hurrying into the room. "Open this one first," she giggled, pushing one into her hands. Lily laughed and sat down on the chair, ripping open the present. It was an Ipad, all for her. 

The team went out for dinner, to their favourite restraunt. Lily wore a brand new dress which JJ had bought her. It was white and flowy, covered in the most beautiful crystals. She wore a denim jacket from Rossi and the new shoes from Garcia. She had on a bracelet from Morgan and Emily had done her hair. At the table, she sat beside Spencer and together, they worked through the Rubix cube he'd bought her. He showed her the tricks and then pulled out mroe puzzles for her to play with - she was transfixed. Emily sat on her other side with a wide smile on her face. She knew that today would go one of two ways, Lily would have panicked at the attention and gone into herself or she'll be so overwhelmed with love and happiness she doesn't think about the attention and thankfully it was the latter. 

"You got so lucky," Rossi said, leaning over the table to Prentiss. "She's a brilliant, bright young lady."  "She really is," Emily replied, smiling with pride.  "She's pretty funny too," JJ laughed.  "She's very funny, absolutely stunning as well!" Garcia interjected.  "She's the new baby girl of the group," Morgan smirked, recieving daggers off Penelope.  "Okay, okay she is but I was the OG baby girl," Garcia chuckled.  "She's really, really intelligent. Statistics say-"  "That the average 16 year-old should spend around 3 hours completing a rubix cube if they have their entire focus on it, I did it in 2 minutes - yes yes Dr Reid," Lily chuckled, cutting Spencer off. Spencer blushed and the rest of the table laughed. 

"To our Lily Prentiss," Rossi said, holding up his whiskey glass. Everyone held up their own drinks and chorused the same thing.  "To Our Lily Prentiss." 

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