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greencways · 2 months

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Could you do a fic where JJ is nervous to tell the reader that she has a crush on them.

💌 i’m actually 100% certain that this is NOT what you meant but i hope you like it?

💌this fic is so long it’s like 3K lol

💌 extremely antsy, a little fluff if you squint

💌 trigger warnings include; gun violence, hostage situation, kidnapping, miscarriage, shouting and screaming, threatening

It was your first day at the BAU, Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner was showing you around the BAU and introducing you to everyone "Jennifer Jareau is our Media Liaison, she'll be here soon" Aaron nodded as you profoundly thanked him for taking time out of his day to do that for you.

You were walking past the elevators when you heard someone come out in a rush, she accidentally bumped into you because she didn't look where she was going because of how stressed she was, you could tell she wanted to tell the team something you just weren't sure what it was "oh honey I'm so sorry" she said as you stumbled backwards a bit, managing to fall on the floor "here, let me" she held out her hand for you to take, you looked up at her and accepted her offer she was gorgeous, she was a tall blonde with these piercing blue eyes, she was wearing a white shirt and a matching plaid skirt and blazer with black heels.

"Some first impression, huh" the mysterious woman smiled "I'm JJ" she smiled, her hand still wrapped around yours, now gripping for a handshake.

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N, It's my first day" you mirrored the same smile "I'm sorry, are you Jennifer Jareau? The Media Liaison?" you questioned.

JJ smiled and threw her head back as she laughed and nodded "Aaron has already introduced you to everyone huh, that's normally my job"

"Afraid so" you laughed.

"Come on, don't wanna be late on your first day" JJ winked as you walked together in the bullpen.

————

From that day on you knew you had a crush on JJ, you knew that she was unattainable but that didn't stop you from liking her, being around a bunch of profilers didn't help either, normally it was fine and you could handle your crush around everyone but Emily Prentiss could read you like an open book.

It started when she made two coffees, one for her and one for Emily but Emily already thanked her and she shrugged as she gave you one, you have the same order as Emily so you gladly accepted, as she gave you the coffee, her fingers ghosted yours slightly and they lingered more than they needed too, both of your flushed cheeks as you smiled the other "Thank you for the coffee Jay" you quickly hid your face and nodded again as a thank you.

"You're the only one that calls me that, you know" she nudged you playfully as she laughed and tucked one side of her hair behind her ears.

What really solidified your crush was one night at girl's night, around 6 or 7 months into working there, you were all playing a game of truth or dare when Penelope asked JJ if "she would kiss anyone on this team" and she quickly glanced at you and then glanced down, she was drunk and she definitely wouldn't remember this in the morning, in fact, none of them would, you were the designated driver and you weren't really much of a big drinker anyway so it worked out.

Emily saw you leaning on the bars looking over the bullpen, starting out at everyone, JJ being in your vision, she playfully teased you as she walked over to you, leaning in the same position next to you "she has a boyfriend, you know, Will Lamontange"

"The detective on the Jones case?" you recalled from around 2 years prior.

"Hmm" Emily affirmed as she nodded her head "the very same one" she put a hand on your shoulder as her way of saying sorry.

A week later when you got to the BAU, Hotch was about to call wheels up when JJ stopped you all.

"Guys..." she started.

"Is everything okay, JJ?" Emily turned around, you standing next to her doing the same too.

"I'm pregnant" JJ gulped and closed her eyes, unsure of how everyone would react "and Will proposed to me and I said yes"

"That's great Jay, Im so happy for you" you beamed as you walked over to her holding your arms out to indicate a hug.

"Thank you" she whispered in your ear.

Another chorus of cheers and celebrations came after the news, you were so happy that your friend was pregnant, you knew from the way she acted around children on cases that she would be the best mother anyone would wish for, but another part you longed that you were in Will's position, you wanted nothing more than to wake up to her every morning, make her coffee and kiss her goodbye on your days off and in the elevator when you got into work, you wanted to be the one she would come home to when you were cooking food and she was vent to you about her day, you wanted to do it all, you didn't hold it against Will though, through meeting him several times because of how close you and JJ were, he became a friend too.

"Excuse me" you smiled as you made your way into the bathroom, you knew that this was ridiculous, you were stupid to think you even had a chance with Jennifer Jareau in the first place, Emily picking up on your sadness straight away followed you into the bathroom.

"Y/N are you in here?" she called out.

"No" you muttered through sobs.

"Talk to me" Emily replied sternly.

"Are you here on your own? is anyone else with you?" Your spoke, a little louder this time.

"Just me honey" she took a deep breath.

"It's stupid" you laughed it off as you unlocked the bathroom door.

"Your feelings are never stupid Y/N.... what's up"'she walked over to you and hugged you.

"I was stupid for even thinking I had a chance with her in the first place"

"Y/N" Emily pushed.

You laughed at Emily's seriousness "I'm really happy for her though" you smiled sadly.

"I know you are" Emily returning the same smile.

So now, here you were almost 10 years later, on a case with JJ, attempting to chase down a kidnapping, you and JJ sprinting into the building where a man was holding 2 women hostage.

"Everybody out" you screamed, people running past you as JJ held the door.

"GO get out, FBI" JJ screamed at the same time the unsub was firing a gunshot.

"Put your weapons down. NOW" the unsub, who's name you both learned was Casey, screamed as he was choking a woman to stop her from escaping.

"That's not gonna happen" JJ said calmly, your eyes darted towards JJ and then back over at Casey.

"Melissa take it" he screamed at the other girl stuck in the building "take it, I'll kill your daughter you know I will, point it at them. NOW!" both of your guns trained on Melissa as she held a gun towards you with a shaky breath and shaky hands.

"Drop your guns now" he demanded, you looked over at JJ and she nodded slightly, you lowered your guns at the same time "Pick them up" your eyes looked from Melissa to your gun as she did just that.

"Please just let my daughter go" she begged, her hands still shaking.

"Melissa, we haven't finished our little game yet"

You looked at JJ and she looked just as confused as you, both guns are targeted at you, you couldn't do anything and you never felt more scared.

Melissa made you drop the floor and she tied your hands behind your back with duct tape "don't worry, it's gonna be okay" you smiled slightly, her doing the same.

"Hurry up" Casey groaned "get over here" reluctantly she walks over to him "You think you're so much better than me, but you're not" both of the guns trained on her, he jerked his head to JJ and smirked "shoot her" he said smugly handing Melissa a gun "or i'll kill your daughter"

You looked over at JJ but she shook her head to indicate that she'll be okay.

"Come on, she's got nothing to do with this, okay? just let her go" JJ begged.

"Shoot her" he screamed, the gun inching more toward Melissa's face.

"Casey, she's not a part of this, okay? you have no reason to hurt her, just let her go" JJ's begs came out more of a demand, you couldn't even look at her, your eyes focusing on everything except from the woman you had secretly loved who was about to die.

Casey ripped the gun out of Melissa's hands and walked over to JJ, the gun shoved into JJ's chest and he gripped her hair tightly to stop her from getting away, you leaned over slightly to heat the conversation better.

"I wasn't talking to you" Casey seethed, his hand still gripped onto her hair, he tugged again and let her go, he got up and made his way over to Melissa's daughter and pulled her up, flinging her over to the other side of the room as she landed on a mirror.

You leaned around the corner to see if she was okay, when you felt a gun press to the middle of your forehead "do not move"

Casey screamed at you, too afraid to say anything you nodded as tears streamed down your face "new deal" she walked backwards still keeping eye contact with you as he gripped onto Melissa's bicep and swung her around to face him "now you need to kill one of these two" you turned to JJ who had her eyes focused on the floor, her eyes glassy, as she turned to you for a split second to turn back away.

Melissa took a deep breath and scanned the room "who's it gonna be?" Casey asked, her gun already pointing at JJ.

"Please, I don't wanna do this" she begged

"Focus, Melissa" he demanded.

"Judge, you got to decide, that's what you do right?" her gun now pointing at you "decide, life or death, with the flick of your gavel"

She was about to shoot you when the phone rang, it scaring everyone "answer it, Casey answer it"

"Shut up" he rolled his eyes at you and focused his attention back onto Melissa "Pull the trigger" he demanded, the telephone still ringing, he ripped the telephone cord so it was cut off "focus Melissa" JJ glanced over towards you, it was evident now that JJ was scared, she looked terrified and you couldn't do anything about it "pull the trigger" Casey demanded once more.

"Casey" JJ quickly spoke up, you turned her head to face her "if Melissa won't play..."

she balanced on her knees and sat up "I will" she said slowly standing up, your eyes followed her as she was fully stood up "truth or dare, that's your game, right? I'll play" she shrugged.

"Melissa, the weapon. NOW" you knew that he wanted JJ dead and you also knew that neither you or JJ could do anything about it.

"Casey" you spoke softly as he quickly turned towards you with the gun in his hands" I know what it's like to be wrongly accused"

Casey walked next to JJ and circled around her "okay, agent..." he waited for JJ to introduce herself.

"Jareau" JJ finished.

"Agent Jareau... truth or dare" he smirks.

"Truth" she whispers and you roll your eyes and reached out for the broken glass to cut myself free from earlier.

"If I think you're lying or stretching out the truth, in the slightest, I'll kill her" his gun now pointed at me.

"yeah" she whispered.

"You ever shoot anybody before?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes I have" JJ answered honestly, not being able to look him in the face.

"You enjoy it?" he smirked.

"No" JJ shook her head and closed her eyes in shame.

"LIAR" he screamed shooting at me, barely missing my arm slightly, as I screamed slightly.

JJ hid her face away from the gun and then turned to face me panicking to check if I didn't get hurt, her breath shaking "no no no, I'm not lying, ok I'm not lying, the people I shot I had no choice, but I did NOT enjoy it I didn't" she stammered "okay you asked and I told the truth, okay, I told you the truth" she said whilst I was still working through the duct tape with the glass "so now it's my turn, right?" she said sternly "that's how this game's played, we take turns." she stopped to take a breath "truth or dare?" her breath less shaky.

"Truth" he nodded his head in anticipation.

"What's it gonna take for all of us to walk out here alive, for this to end peacefully?" a hint on concern in her eyes.

"I ain't going back to prison" the gun still on her "my turn truth or dare?"

"Truth" JJ replied.

"I want you to say something you're afraid to say, that you'd never tell anybody and you better make it good, cause if it's not, it's gonna be the last thing you ever say, what's it gonna be?"

JJ's shoulders shook and she took a breath "there are only four people in trust in this world"

"Boring" he mocked as he shot Melissa's leg "NEXT!" he demanded to hear something better.

"Um... my.." she shook her head, it was evident that she hadn't really told anyone the story she was about to tell, she hadn't really told anyone that she trusted nevermind a complete stranger "my baby I lost. I um.. mmm" she grunted "I wanted to name her Maggie" tears came out slowly, her eyes focused on the floor as she was too afraid to look anywhere else.

"WRONG" he shouted in her face "come on, you can do better than that"

"Casey" you interfered.

"SHUT UP" his gun now on me.

"Okay okay okay" JJ said as he grabbed her shoulders and slammed her back down on her knees.

"Something you would never say aloud, not even to your partner here, your deepest darkest secrets, impress me or I kill her"

She looked over at me apologetically and I looked at her back with a furrowed brow.

"COME ON" Casey shouted.

"Y/N/N, um" you could tell she was holding back sobs "Ive always loved you" you scanned her face for a hint of deception but there wasn't any, the woman you had loved for 10 years just admitted to loving you, your head started to hurt "and I was just too scared to say it before" she carried on, she was crying, sobs echoing throughout the building "and now things are just really too complicated to say it now"'she was right, now with a husband and two children, even though you still loved her, you couldn't tell her to divorce Will and leave her children that would be way to idiotic.

Your lip quivered as this conversation was actually happening, you wanted this conversation but 10 years ago, it was far to late now.

"You" he turned to you with a gun "truth or dare?"

"Um.." your lip quivered and your hands shaking "dare"

"Kiss her" he laughed.

"What did you say?" you looked up at him, your mouth open.

"You heard me, kiss her" he laughed again.

You looked over at JJ who nodded, signaling that it was okay to do so, she shuffled towards you and you kissed her, it was everything you imagined but you knew that you weren't going to be the same after this.

"I'm sorry" she exhaled loudly "but you should know" you gave her a gentle smile, her sound the same.

"Hot damn, that's what I'm talking about, now those are some last words right there, but not good enough to save your life"

Too distracted by the gun, what he didn't see was you pulling out yours and you shouting him you and JJ watched in awe as his body fell between you.

JJ stood there, both of you in silence as you cut JJ free, she turned to you slowly "Y/N I'm so sorry, I should’ve told you sooner" she gave you a tearful look, hiding it behind a smile.

"Don't" you stopped her with a hug.

All of a sudden, agents bursts through the door, JJ turned around suddenly "we need an ambulance, ever got three down, three have been shot" you watched JJ walk over to Melissa, JJ bent down and started untying her "hang in there, okay? help is on its way" you smiled slightly, the thing that you loved most about JJ was her altruistic response to almost everything, she would always make sure that everyone else was okay and checked out and safe, before she would even check to see if she had any bruises.

When you were out and all both of you had a medical checkup, you walked over to JJ in the bullpen as she was setting down her briefcase "hey you" you walked over to her and sat on her desk.

"Hi honey" she smiled as she carried on unpacking her things.

"Did you mean it? what you said in there?" you stuttered, picking at your fingers, not wanting to hear the answer.

"Y/N" JJ looked up at you "I have a husband and kids, I have Will, I-" she started.

You looked up at her "but did you mean it?" you questioned.

JJ nodded slowly "yeah" she whispered.

"JJ if it's any consolation, I felt the same way" you smiled "pathetically for a long time" you shrugged at the latter of the sentence, you and JJ laughed slightly

"You did?" JJ said shockingly.

You nodded slowly "Since that girls night, where you said you would kiss someone at worked and looked at me" you laughed, JJ returned your answer with a puzzled expression "you were so drunk, I just assumed you didn't remember it the next day" you shrugged once more "never brought it up again" you smiled pushing yourself up to jump of JJ's desk.

"I've always loved you too JJ" you smiled and hugged her.

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