#lit dies trying to please his mom
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it runs in the family.
🦁🌳👩👦☀️
bio has 🔗!
#tlk fanart#tlk#the lion king 2#furry#2000s#stickers#trauma humor#b0lt420#zira#nuka#scar#nuka deserved better tho#lit dies trying to please his mom
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A Hell's Kitchen Christmas [Hallmark Trope]
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader
Trope de Sept Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Hallmark Special tv movie trope 1. Busy career woman in big city reluctantly returns to hometown for problem™. Handsome man in town who she initially clashes with wins her over and they fall in love. She stays in hometown. It is also Christmas. "You return to Hell's Kitchen to help your estranged dad in a legal battle over his hardware store. You’re a hot-shot Miami lawyer after all, how hard could it be? Except the charming, handsome local lawyer named Matt Murdock your dad hired to help him keeps getting in your way. And yes, it is Christmas. Because this is a Hallmark Movie."
Warnings: No use of Y/N. No pronouns are used for reader, so any gender applies! Catholic/Religious mass mentioned/attended by reader, reader’s mom is dead, Christmas, Fluff on top of fluff.
WC: 1500
*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platform I currently post anything on is Tumblr. Thanks!*
The footsteps of parishioners thumped softly against the carpeted aisle of Clinton Church, nearly drowned out by the blaring of the organ as it played them out while they all exited. Christmas Eve Midnight Mass had just ended. Typically always over-crowded with those Sister Maggie called “Christers” (those who only attend church on Christmas and Easter), the many people walked past where Matt sat in a pew towards the back, chatting about what excitement tomorrow brought them (technically today, as it was nearly 1AM on Christmas Morning).
Matt remained in his seat, listening to the crowd depart, until there was just one other person in the chapel with him.
He noticed you as soon as he sat down before the service. Despite the many unfamiliar heartbeats in the crowd tonight, he picked yours out right away. Your citrus-scented perfume confirmed your presence when its pleasant smell reached him.
You were alone, which Matt found odd. Not joined by your father for the holiday celebrations as he expected you to be.
He heard you finally stand from your spot and walk up to the altar just as the last of the crowd left. The lighter trembled in between your fingers as you picked up a tea light and lit it, placing it amongst the many flaming symbols of other people's prayers.
“Shit God, I know I don’t pray a lot… or at all really.”
Matt listened as you spoke, chuckling to himself. You clearly hadn’t noticed him there.
“Look, it’s just my dad… the hardware store has been his whole life since mom died and please, you just can’t take that away from him. I know me leaving didn’t help, I know. I’m still living with that guilt, believe me.” you continued to pray, sniffling and wiping away a tear from your eye
“But this pro-bono guy he’s got. I don’t think it’s gonna be enough. I guess what I’m asking is please just let him open his heart enough for me to help. Or at least for this Murdock schmuck to get it together enough and actually save my dad’s store. You know, like a nice Christmas miracle? Um… thanks God.”
You crossed yourself and bowed to the altar, turning to leave.
Matt could tell you spotted him from the gasp that left your mouth and the way your heart skipped a beat.
“Matt. Hey. Um… Merry Christmas.” you said, still trying not to cry as you walked over to him
“Hey. Merry Christmas to you too. Where’s your dad?”
“Oh, he had a long day today. You know him, he never stops working. I told him to stay home and rest. Can I walk you home?”
“Oh you don’t have to…”
“Come on Matt, it’s late and it’s Christmas. It’s only a few blocks anyway. Let me walk you home.”
Matt nodded and took your arm as you led him out of the church and into the cold New York night. The snowflakes danced around as the two of you walked, arm in arm. Crunching footsteps made a path through the white-covered sidewalk and left evidence of the route to Matt’s apartment you took.
“Did you not bring a warmer coat? I can hear you shivering.” Matt exclaimed
“I didn’t. I never come home for Christmas, but with everything going on with my dad, I booked the trip so last minute and a winter coat isn’t exactly something I need in Miami.” you replied, tugging at the sleeves of your thin jacket
“May I?” Matt offered, releasing your arm for a moment to shrug off his wool pea coat.
Gloved hands ghosted your neck as he situated the garment around your shoulders. It was snuggly and warm and reminded you of Matt in a way you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
“Thank you Matt. Not just for the coat, but for everything. You’re really helping my dad out.” you said, letting him take your arm once more and resuming your journey
“Oh yeah? You sure I’m not just some schmuck he hired?”
“Shit. You heard that? I didn’t mean it.” you shook your head and Matt just chuckled
“You really are a good lawyer.” you continued “Everything you’ve proposed we try and all the research you’ve done… I know I’ve been really hard on you since I got here and I’m sorry. I’m a big deal at my firm in Miami and I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am. And my dad is about to get evicted and he doesn’t even call his own kid to help? I know I’m in corporate finance law and I’m not licensed in New York but still… He didn’t tell me this was happening for months and he hired you and I was hurt.”
“So why’d you come back to New York then? If you think I’m a good enough lawyer to help your dad out that is?” Matt asked
“I didn’t think that at first. Didn’t think a small pro-bono firm could take on the big developer trying to tear down the whole block. But now that I’ve been working with you on this, well I was wrong. And maybe I came back too because I missed him and I missed home.”
“Yeah?”
The streets of Hell’s Kitchen were practically empty at this hour, families all tucked away in their homes waiting for the excitement of Christmas morning. It was tranquil, seeing the city that never sleeps so quiet and calm. The electric buzz that New York always seems to have was still there, but dimmed.
“After my mom died, we just grew apart. He threw himself into work and I threw myself into school and my career. I think he was bitter that I moved away, that I didn’t want to take over the store from him.”
“Well you shouldn’t feel bad about going on your own path.” Matt reassured
“Yeah but it was the way I did it. But now that I’ve been back, god it’s like we used to be. Close you know?”
“Yeah I was really close with my dad too. And I’d give anything to have him back. To have what you and your dad have.”
“Shit you’re right. I guess that really puts it in perspective.” you replied
The purple and gold light of the video billboard on Matt’s block reflected off the snowflakes like a disco ball. A festive touch considering what day it was. You stopped your journey just outside his front door, facing him to observe the way he licked his lips as he formulated his next thought.
“I think he just wants what’s best for you.”
“I know that. It’s a shame it took me this long to figure out what’s actually best for me.” you replied
“Oh yeah? You figured that out just in the 10 days you’ve been home? Wow counselor, research and evidence gathering stage usually takes longer.”
“Very funny Murdock. Yeah actually, I have.” you replied
“And what did you figure out?”
“Matt, the work that you do, seeing it in action and how it’s helped my dad, it really inspired me.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I think I want to shift my legal specialty. Find a firm to work for that takes on clients like yours and actually helps people. And Matt, I don’t know that I would have discovered that if it weren’t for you.”
A wide smile spread across Matt’s face as he lowered and shook his head.
“Well, I might know of just the firm that could use a lawyer as smart as you. You’d have to stay in Hell’s Kitchen though, or at the very least New York…”
“Matt, are you offering me a job?” you asked
“Well I mean you’d have to pass the bar in New York first, but yeah, actually I am.”
“What are you doing tomorrow– or today I guess technically?” you asked
“For Christmas? I don’t really have plans. I used to go to dinner at Foggy’s family, but his parents became snowbirds a few years ago, so now all the Nelsons travel to Florida for the holidays. Why?”
“My dad is cooking a fabulous meal and we’d love to have you join us. To thank you for all you’ve done. For both of us.”
“I don’t want to impose on your first Christmas in years with your dad.” Matt replied
“Oh c’mon Matt, you have to come! You’re practically family at this point; you’re saving my dad’s business, you’re repairing our relationship, you’re offering me a job.”
“Okay, okay. I will come.” he conceded
“Great! We can tell my dad I’m moving back to New York. Together.”
“Does that mean you’re saying yes? To my offer?”
“Yes Matt, I am saying yes. To working for you. And staying in New York.”
Reaching out with a trembling hand in the cold night air, you ran your thumb along his jaw. Matt let out a chuckle as you reveled in the way his stubble felt against your freezing fingers. A sigh escaped you into his plush, soft lips when he finally kissed you, warming you instantly from the chill.
“Merry Christmas, Matt.”
“Merry Christmas, Sweetheart.”
#matt murdock#daredevil#matt murdock x reader#daredevil x reader#charlie cox#nmcu#trope de sept#hallmark#christmas fic#matt murdock x female reader#matt murdock x male reader#matt murdock x gn!reader#daredevil imagine#fluff#nmcu fic#mcu fic#daredevil fic#matt murdock x you#marvel daredevil
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Everything Goes On Pt. 7
[Mistakes were made. Not suitable for younger audiences. Previous part here.] Below the cut.
"Ya know..." Swiss whispers to Dew as Papa leads the beginnings of mass, "...I've never been really into this whole going to church thing, but something about seeing you dressed up all modest-like is making me feel strangely pious..."
"I'll make you pious your pants if you don't shut up." Dew glowers, shooting him a glare from his spot in the first row, "Now sit up straight and listen to the sermon."
"Yes, Mom."
"You-"
Mountain pinches Swiss' ear, pulling him back.
"Ow!"
"Behave."
Swiss pouts.
"You both suck..."
Dew sighs and does his best to ignore Swiss' antics, if Aether were here, he would...
"-and now to perform the ceremonial rites, I ask the Bishop Dewcifer to-"
"Wait, seriously, that's your full name-" Swiss whisper shouts leaning forward again.
Dew stealthily smacks Swiss on the back of his head with his tail as he stands before proceeding to join Copia on stage.
"To assist the bishop in this most sacred of rituals, Sister Cumulus will-"
Despite a few minor hiccups -in the form of actual hiccups on the part of a toddler in the back of the hall drinking his juice too fast, and thankfully not Dew himself, because that would have been mortifying- the rites are completed with ease.
Dew had been more or less confident he would remember the words he needed to recite, and that Cumulus would know the order of the candles that needed to be lit by heart, but there's always those last minute jitters to contend with.
Overall, the ceremony had gone well.
By now, most of the siblings have returned to their dorms to prepare for the post ritual feast, save for Copia, Cumulus, a few select members of the clergy who would act as witnesses, and Dew himself of course, so the atmosphere had shifted to a more casual one.
With important figures like Sister Imperator and Mr. Saltarian gone off to attend to matters elsewhere, no one is feeling particularly serious.
Dew, with the assistance of Cumulus, has shucked his outer robes in favor of the simple cassock worn beneath the heavy layers of fabric, and even Copia had removed his mitre, a clear sign to those gathered that this is, essentially, break time.
"Remind me to wear crocs under my robes next time, these fucking dress shoes are killing my feet." Dew groans, leaning on Mountain, who has graciously offered to keep his friend balanced while he kicks off his footwear in favor of sliding on the loose slippers he'd dropped into the ghoul's lap just before the ceremony, "Gonna suck to put those back on..."
"Want to trade?" Cumulus asks, holding up her heels, having opted to go barefoot, the soles of her stocking covered feet being soothed by the cold stone flooring, "Ugh... at least part of the path to the sunken chapel is paved..."
Dew stretches, "I doubt your tiny shoes would fit me."
"Your feet aren't much bigger than mine, see?" Cumulus places her foot beside Dew's, "There's maybe a centimeter of difference."
"Tell you what, so long as no one dies during the summoning tonight, I'll try on your heels AFTER dinner." Dew says, moving to lightly step on Cumulus' foot.
"...Can you wear her dress, too?" A curious looking Swiss asks, poking his head into view from behind Mountain, "And while we're at it-"
"I'm not wearing a dress, Swiss." Dew rolls his eyes, "Shoes are one thing, but a dress is going too far."
"You have worn a skirt before though." Cumulus points out.
"Please don't encourage him."
"You guys, Dew can't wear Cumulus' dress." Mountain says flatly.
"Thank you, Mount, I knew you'd be on my s-"
"Burgundy doesn't match his skin tone, I think maybe a baby blue would be better, like that short little nightgown Sunny used to wear."
"Oooh~! You're so right, Mount!" Cumulus claps her hands together excitedly, "I could even do your make-up~!"
Dew purses his lips then sighs.
"And where exactly am I getting all dolled up to go, Lus? Huh?"
Swiss slides up behind Dew and wraps his hands around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder, "Could come by my room later and finish up that back rub Cirrus so rudely interrupted, hm~?"
Dew considers this for a moment, feeling Swiss' hands sink to his hips.
"Hold on, Cirrus walked in on you two getting it on?" Cumulus asks, "Really?"
"I mean, we weren't actually gonna fuck-"
Swiss nods solemnly, "It was an apology massage for being a dick."
"-and then Cirrus burst through my door, busted the lock."
"Undid all of my hard work." he pouts, slipping his hands around to squeeze Dew's ass, earning a swat from Dew's tail, "So mean..."
"Why'd she do that??" Cumulus wonders, crossing her arms, "Actually, Cir's been acting kind of funny lately..."
"Funny haha, or funny bad?"
"More like... funny... upset?" Cumulus places her hands under her chin, "She's been really clingy lately, and only just this morning we had a fight about- Never mind. I'll try talking to her some more later, it's not worth getting into right now, we have to head over to the chapel soon."
"Wanna take bets on spade shape?" Swiss proposes, "I still have my bingo card from Sunny's summoning."
"Satanas, I forgot how informal that all was... I blame being cooped up in the abbey for over a year with you guys." Cumulus shakes her head.
"It felt more like a baby shower instead of a summoning honestly..." Mountain says, earning a series of curious stares from the other ghouls, "What? You all forget I've been on the surface for a very long time now."
"How many baby showers have you been to??" Dew questions, once more slapping Swiss' hands away from his butt as they begin the walk to the chapel.
"I have been many a siblings plus one to these sorts of events." he says, "I have eaten many a gender reveal cake to the sounds of a couple bickering over the fact that one of them wanted a boy or a girl and wound up expecting the other..."
"Ooughh..." the other ghouls hiss.
"There was one that I enjoyed though, it was a bee themed party... 'Announcing The Arrival of Our Bay-Bee'. Very cute, ten out of ten."
"What'd the cake look like?" Cumulus asks.
"A lovely yellow honeycomb without any hauntingly blue or pink dye to make my bowel movements look like I have some kind of disease-"
.
.
.
"So, kits, yes or no?" Aether had asked Dew once while they were laying in bed together.
Dew hummed thoughtfully for a moment before shaking his head.
"Can you imagine me as a parent? I'd be awful..."
Aether had cuddled him close then and told him sincerely, "I think you'd be a wonderful dad."
Dew is panicking.
The moon must have decided to have a blue light special, because not only did the summoning spell spit out one ghoul, it spit out two ghouls a freaking baby-
"I-It's not mine."
"Not mine either..."
-who is now clinging onto the front of Dew's cassock for dear life making little alarmed "meeps" whenever someone tries to make a grab for them, having retreated into the folds of the band around Dew's waist to hide when he himself tried to remove them.
"How did this happen??" Copia wonders aloud, looking over the incantations for a third time, "Do... D-Do we send it back?? Did we just kidnap... kitnap?? A baby??"
Mountain gently pats Copia's back, "It's fine, it's fine... and, no, now we can't send it back that would be dangerous."
"What do we do with it then??"
Swiss pokes the lump hiding under Dew's waistband, making the kit wiggle and squirm.
Dew smacks his hand away, "Don't do that."
"Because I'll scare it?"
"Yeah, and it fucking tickles."
"Don't swear in front of the baby!" Swiss gasps.
"I doubt it understands what we're saying." Dew says, placing his palm over the kit, "Thing's tiny as sh-... Heck. Tiny as heck. Probably still has its ears pinned."
"For real though, what do we do with it?" Cumulus asks, trying to peek at the kit from the gap in the band, "There's no way we could send it back."
Dew glances off to the side, "Well... I mean, it's kind of our responsibility now..."
.
.
.
Dinner is... shockingly uneventful.
Mountain had half expected the clergy to crazy at the sight of not only two new ghouls, but a kit to boot, but the overall reception is one of subdued excitement.
It's later in the evening, so, really, he can't be all that surprised, but he'd assumed at least one person would ask about the strange little ball of fluff tucked into his sweater...
Indeed, they'd managed to free the kit from Dew's cassock, but the poor thing started shaking almost immediately upon contact with the air, so Mountain offered to keep it warm for the time being until they could figure out what to do with it otherwise.
Dew, who opted to sit beside him at dinner, spent about half the night feeding the kit scraps from his plate.
Little bits of turkey, less than half a spoonful of mashed potatoes, the teeniest bit of goat milk... Honestly, Mountain was surprised at how easily Dew seemed to take to caring for the kit, only to get a reality check in the form of a reminder that the fire ghoul had raised multiple dogs up from puppies, and the process of feeding and maintaining a kit was not all that dissimilar up until a point.
However, a phantom of a voice plays in the back of his mind.
“Can you imagine Dew as a parent? He could barely take care of himself up until a couple years ago, and that’s only because I spent ages trying to learn what makes him goddamn tick.”
“I’m ready to step back from things and slow down and he’s… he’s still acting like we’re a couple of kits. I… I don’t have the energy to put up with him anymore, so I ended things now before things got any… any worse.”
"I'm tired of being his caretaker, Mount."
Mountain glances at Dew as he feeds the kit another bite sized piece of turkey, using his thumb to wipe away a bit of gravy from its face.
"So... Does this make you a dad now?" Mountain asks, and Dew laughs.
"Nah... I'm not ready to be a parent. Think I'll stick to raising my Hellhounds a little longer." He says, watching the kit curl up to sleep, "Besides, I know there's some ghouls here that would happily take this guy in."
"It's a boy?" Mountain asks, tilting his chin to look at the kit, "And you do?"
"Hell if I know, I wasn't about to check while it was already freaked out." he shrugs, "And yeah, yeah, I do."
Dew nods in the direction of two of the ghouls who had been keeping guard earlier in the evening... Cowbell and Special.
"...What?" Mountain's eyes go wide, "Those two?"
"Shhh..." Dew shushes him, "Yeah, back when... when Aether was still working in the infirmary, they were trying to work on adopting a human kit they were fostering together, but ya know how that stuff goes..."
"I didn't even know those two were a thing..." Mountain whispers, "...I mean good for them, I guess... Also, weren't there three guards earlier?"
Dew nods, then gestures for Mountain to lean over.
"I managed to set Swiss up with them for the evening instead of me, they both ran off before Copia finished the toast."
Mountain blinks.
"You turned down se-" he glances down at the sleeping kit, "-adult fun time with Swiss for this?"
"Ehn, I wasn't feeling up to it anymore honestly..." Dew admits, "It's... different now without Aether. Just not the same when you don't get cuddles afterwards. I mean, Swiss is good at that kind of stuff, but, ya know... doesn't have the same, uhh, oomph to it, I guess."
"Ah."
"Yeah."
Mountain takes a moment to ponder what he's learned.
"...Seriously though, Special and Cowbell?"
"I know, right??"
#lamp writes#nameless ghouls#dewdrop ghoul#mountain ghoul#swiss ghoul#cumulus ghoulette#copia#papa emeritus iv#ghost band#the band ghost#ghost bc#ghost band fanfic
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Yep, Fallen Stars is getting a Spooktacle special set one year later - cut into multiple parts, as tumblr began to lag as I wrote more. Also, this will have spoilers from the main story, so please keep that in mind!
If you find a typo, no you didn't. These were made solely for fun and aren't to be taken all too seriously
Leaves and wrappers crunched under the feet of two wandering monsters. The air surrounding them smelled of warm baked treats, their path lightened by the orange glow of candles and streetlights. They were surrounded by other monsterlings, each wearing a costume from their favorite shows, stories, and games. Joyful laughter flew through everyone's ears as buckets were filled with candies of every kind.
"I think we've been through every street," a young clamble spoke. A pumpkin-shaped bucket was clasped in their claw, filled with many candies they had gotten over the hours. "Should we call it a night?"
"We could," the other, a T-rox, answered. "But.. There's one last house we haven't gotten to yet!"
"Oh? Where is it?"
"Follow me, Sprout!"
Sprout fell behind, surprised at the sudden energy their friend had gained to run off so quickly. He ran without direction out into the night - and it seemed like the forest was his choice. Are there houses within the trees?
"Rocky, wait!" The clamble said with a pant, slowing with every step. "My mom told me not to go off the road! Where - where's the house?"
"Right up here!"
Soft grass turned to stone as the two finally came to a stop. Up a short hill, surrounded by darkened trees and fog, stood the old Plant Island castle. They were standing on the bubblerite path, clusters of mushrooms and grass sprouting from between its cracks, that led right up to the entrance. It wouldn't be too far of a walk now.
"What? We can't go there! It's off limits because some monsters kept trying to explore it and got hurt!"
"I heard someone died," Rocky whispered, a bit of morbid laughter coming after.
"Why.. would you want to go there?"
The t-rox began his walk, forcing Sprout to follow behind.
"I was told the reason everyone wanted to go in was because, one day a year, you can speak to Plant Islands old kings! Don't tell me you aren't at least a little curious."
"Not one bit."
"Well, you can stay behind and be a little crybaby!"
Sprout stopped in their tracks, watching their friend walk on. It was too dark to be alone, and Rocky was the only one who brought a flashlight.
"I'm not a crybaby," the clamble scoffed. Their costume was a burger - not a baby.
The door of the castle had been worn down over the decades, hardly anything more than a stone and wood slab with two round handles. Sprout raised a claw, giving it a quick knock.
"No ones home. Guess we have to leave!"
The moment the clamble's words escaped into the air, the door opened with a whistling breeze.
The inside seemed to be in a different time. A long hallway with a red, velvety rug lining its path, lit candles hanging from lanterns on either side, shadows overcoming the entire scene. The wallpaper seemed torn, withering away from years of neglect. Old, yet new.
"Ladies first," Rocky teased.
"No. You first," Sprout replied.
The bickering was minimal, and they agreed to go in together. The temperature felt as if it dropped the second they stepped in - not a good sign. The floors creaked with every step, their breathing becoming visible fog the deeper they went into the castle. Sprout froze.
"Sprout? Sprout! Move it, come on!"
Rocky nudged their friends arm, following their eyes to what stood before them in the shadows. A foggy white cluster of icy winds and clouds loomed above them, forming an uncanny face that vaguely resembled any monster that came to mind with jolts of lightning flashing within its shape that rattled with thunder. Its face slowly tilted down, looking through the two with empty, soulless eyes.
"Leave," its voice echoed.
Sprout and Rocky slammed into one another, falling onto their backs and dropping their collected candy before scrambling to their feet. They darted back out the front door of the castle, screaming for their parents, anyone.
The floating figure disintegrated, bits of ice laying flat on the ground and melting into shallow puddles. Attmoz fell from it as well, laughing up a storm. Glaishur poked his head out from his room, Galvana sitting on his shoulders.
"I'm guessin' they're gone?" Glaishur asked.
"Oh yeah," Attmoz wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye. "They're gone!"
A new laugh filled the room, belonging to none other than the spooky monster himself: Punkleton! He clapped his hands, cheering on the scare they gave. He was quite proud of their creativity!
"As funny as that was," Furnoss came into view, "This is the one time I'm letting it happen. You know we can't be seen by any common monster."
"What about rares?" The air monster commented.
"Don't even start."
Galvana hopped from their spot, scooping up the bucket of treats. They dug around in it, trying to find something up to their expectations. The rest of the kids came along shortly after, starting to fight over who gets what. Attmoz broke them up, holding the bucket high above their grasps and keeping Plixie from swooping in.
"Alright, cool it! Look, Glaishur and I can divide these evenly for everyone, but'cha gotta be nice."
"It's not fair!" Torrt complained. "Why can't we have a Spooktacle? It looks fun!"
"Because it isn't safe, bud. You know that."
"I promise that we will.. celebrate in our own way," Furnoss assured. "Maybe."
"Maybe?" Punkleton said with shock. "Maybe! Hah! There's no 'maybe' here! Spooktacle is all about costumes and masks - it's perfect for you guys! You know what? Stay right here! I know just the guy to call!"
"Call? Call who?"
Punkleton didn't respond, leaving out the front door to get better cell service. Furnoss followed in an attempt to get an answer, but he was met with nothing. Attmoz trailed behind, which in turn brought along Glaishur and Galvana. Soon enough, the celestials poured out into the night. They could see the distant lights and hear the muffled laughter, all tucked away in the town hidden from their view.
It wasn't long after Punkleton's call that a new face arrived, stumbling with every step and seemingly disoriented. They appeared to be about the same height as an entbrat, covered in gray fur, and two curled, black and gold horns being their most prominent features. They carried multiple bags and buckets in a rush to provide whatever is needed to whoever was called.
"Tawkerr! Going as a mummy again this year?"
"I got toilet papered."
"Oh. Hah! Anyway, did ya get the goods?"
Tawkerr dropped the armful of supplies, finally able to get a better view of who exactly he was helping. The young celestials stepped back, intimidated by the new arrival.
"Wh- Punkleton, is that?-"
"Costumes galore!" They interrupted, digging through the many accessories. "We ought to have something for everyone! C'mere ya rascals, pick something out!"
Attmoz and Glaishur encouraged the others to look through the options, Syncopite and Furnoss keeping an eye on the werdo. Punkleton went on to explain who Tawkerr was - a friend. The name 'Parlsona' came up frequently, though it seems she's off busy tending to a Spooktacle party. There were only four known werdos, though they strongly believed that there had to be more somewhere. Their lifespans weren't longer than an average monster - they were well aware of such. They wanted to find more of their kind someday.
"Are you.. Furnoss?" Tawkerr would ask.
"As strange as it is, yes. I was hoping we could keep a low profile," He glanced over to Punkleton, "But maybe it's for the better we ease our way into the world. We can't stay hidden forever."
"It - it's a honor to.. - uh, your majesty?"
Furnoss was humored but assured the gray monster that he was alright with being referred to by name. The other still felt uneasy in the presence of someone with such high powers, and it was hard to believe that all of the lost celestials were simply on Plant Island. Especially right in front of him. Syncopite gave a brief explanation, as it seems they're always required to do such.
The kids tossed aside jackets, headbands, shirts, and shoes of many kinds. The materials felt rather cheap, a few even ripping at light touch. Attmoz took out a ragged black and red collared cape, draping it over himself and clipping it shut near his neck. He did a few twists and turns, showing off the fluid movements. He added on a simple white shirt and black waistcoat, something he probably should have put on first.
"Vampire, eh?" The skeletal monster laughed. "Here, you're gonna want some of these!"
Punkleton took out another bag, this one containing sharp, plastic teeth. They came in many different sizes to appeal to the abundance of monster species, though some pairs could work for either. Attmoz took one for his own, clamping onto it and showing off his new fangs. He was given a plastic mask, having pale white skin, pointed ears, and a stupidly goofy smile. As much as Attmoz didn't like it, he knew it would be for the better. For now.
Glaishur dug around, helping the others pick before he did. Hornacle wanted to go as an astronaut, the suit and helmet perfectly hiding their identity, yet still being recognizable and creative. Galvana zipped themselves up in a Woolabee onsie, which initially seemed cute before they revealed to have also taken a pair of the jagged plastic fangs. Weird, but alright.
Plixie chose to go as a robot, though it restricted their ability to fly. At least it lit up! Vhamp chose the cowboy option, the hat casting a shadow over their face to keep them hidden. Torrt put on a simple smunkin costume with the stem as a hat, able to retract inside to appear solely as the festive food. He found it rather silly - exactly as they wanted! Blasoom suited themselves up with a shimmery green hood, a jeweled mask with a long pointed beak, and a dress that dragged behind with layers of blue, green, and black patterns. A peacock! Scaratar took a while to finalize her decision, but she settled on a dark queen. A black and purple gown, bejeweled silver crown, feathered mask to hide her face - she loved it! Almost matched Blasoom, too!
Glaishur was last. He was still unsure as to what he wanted to go as, pushing aside pieces of different costumes and taking suggestions. He came across a blue flannel, the sleeves covered in false rips to expose dusty gray furred arms. He found the matching headband and ripped jeans - oh hell yeah.
"Hey Synco, how about you?" Attmoz asked.
"I'm not going out."
"Oh, come on, it's our first Spooktacle. You have to at least dress up!"
Syncopite tapped their foot, leaving for the castle. He came out seconds later, a pillowcase covering their head.
"Huh?"
"I'm going as a pillow."
"That doesn't count."
"A marshmallow, then. Try not to catch me on fire."
"Can't argue with that."
Glaishur made himself present, dressed fully in a costume similar to an epic drumpler - a werewolf. It came with matching slippers, which admittedly were very uncomfortable, but he'd make it work. Syncopite snorted, holding back a bit of laughter before it was knocked out of him by Scaratar. Rude.
"Looking good, Glaish!" Attmoz praised. "Did it come with something to cover your head? Other than the ears."
"Oh - uh, maybe?"
The cold monster turned back around, digging around once more before coming across a latex mask. It was torn, bits of paint either smudged or missing around the teeth, giving it an unsettling look that likely wasn't the intended design. He put it on, mumbling at the uncomfortable feeling.
"It smells like fish."
"Ah, it's just like hanging out with Hornacle."
Hornacle snapped their claw at Attmoz's tail, narrowly missing him.
"Hey Smokey, are you dressing up?"
"It.. depends. I mean, if the rest are, I don't see why not."
There wasn't much left to choose from, even less so in sizes larger than a small. Perhaps a Sox? No - too similar to Glaishur. A firefighter? Too ironic. Furnoss picked out a long, deep blue cape with yellow stars and a matching hat with a fake gray beard. It was dusty and a little worn. It fits, at least.
"I'm sorry for the.. lack of sizes," Tawkerr apologized. "Punkleton said it was someone's first Spooktacle."
"I wasn't wrong, now, was I?"
"No, but.. I thought you meant, like, little kids."
"It's fine," the fire monster assured. "I think it looks nice, actually."
"Alright," Punkleton took back the spotlight, "Let's see.. everyone's got a costume, right? Now, all ya need are buckets or bags - to hold the treats in! Have any on ya, Tawks?"
"Uh.. Good question."
"I brought some!"
Tawkerr recognized the voice immediately. The celestials made sure their faces were covered, another new monster coming into their front yard. She was slightly taller than Tawkerr, sporting a pale blonde pelt and shorter pointed horns. Feathers grew a little ways past her elbows and coated her arms, pink and blue sprinkled among them and matching her dyed hair and polished hooves. If the horns weren't enough of a hint, her similar build defined herself as a werdo, and the other seemed glad for her arrival.
"Parlsona! You made it!"
"Sorry I'm late!" She yelled, coming to a stop. "The monsterlings just kept coming! I left Maggpi and Stoowarb in charge! Not my smartest moment, but you forgot a couple of things back at the house. Oh! Hello there!"
Parlsona kneeled to the others' level, complimenting their costumes and wishing them an amazing Spooktacle. They're adorable! She wondered their names or what species they were, but they seemed bashful. Probably best to let them open up on their own. She offered the many monsterlings a fabric bag, each having a unique and spooky design printed on in neon colors. The gift was well received!
"Why did we meet up at the old castle?" She asked. "You know it isn't safe to be in! especially during Spooktacle - the kids go crazy over it!"
"Doesn't matter. Let's get on with this!" Punkleton cheered.
Tawkerr and Parlsona gave their goodbyes and wished the group a happy Spooktacle. Their job was far from done, and the continuous calls from Maggpi and Stoowarb reminded them!
With anxious excitement, the celestials began their walk down to the nearby town for their first ever Spooktacle. What would come of the night? Only one way to find out!
#fallen stars msm#my singing monsters#msm#fallen stars au#msm au#fanfiction#msm oc#Spooktacle >:]#writing this while NBC plays in the background
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Evil is everywhere
Okay I absolutely LOVED the request this is based off of. Also that gif makes me cry every time.
A/N: This is my work and I don’t give anyone the permission to post it anywhere claiming to be someone else’s. I worked hard on this, if you enjoy it please interact. Requests are open.
Summary: Just because Vecna is gone doesn’t mean you’re not in danger anymore.
TW: Kidnapping, Abuse, Language, Drugs, Drinking, Torture. MINORS YOU KNOW ITS A DNI GO FIND STEVE.
A/N: if y’all can’t tell I absolutely LOVE dark themed stories, but please, please, please if the tags scare you or possibly trigger you; just move on. Mental health first babes. ❤️
Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5
It was over, Vecna was finally defeated. El lay next to you unconscious and you gently scooped her up in your arms. You had to find Billy, he took Max and Lucas to the other side of the house to fight off some terrifying zombie vampire looking creatures. Steve and the rest of the gang had set up protection check ins; after almost losing Eddie he wanted to make sure no one else got that level of wounded. Nancy was the first to find you two and she guided you back to Billy and then eventually to everyone else.
El spent a week recovering but everyone felt so much better. The whole town seemed like it had a sickness removed from it, until people started disappearing again. Dustin and the kids had been going around Hawkins figuring out how to close all the portals and they swore there was no activity coming from them. Even Hopper agreed, each missing person looked like a kidnapping over an Upside Down issue. That’s how you found yourself at home on a Saturday night, alone. Hawkins had a fucking curfew. Everything shut down after 10:00pm. No one was allowed to go out unless it was absolutely necessary and you couldn’t go out alone.
You dad worked the graveyard shift at the hospital and your mom died a few years back, so you couldn’t ever leave because you had no one to go with. Tonight you rolled your eyes at the dumb movie you picked to watch, perking up when the phone rang.
“Y/L/N residence this is Y/N speaking.”
“I think I know the sound of my own girlfriends voice.”
A dumb smile lit up your features.
“Billy! Where are you staying tonight?”
He and Max had kind of been drifters since the start of the lockdown. He knew to not be at Neil’s house when it started because being trapped with that monster would have been worse than being kidnapped.
“Harringtons again. We’re probably going to be here for a few months since his parents fucked off to some other country for a while.”
Steve lived close to you, less than 3 miles, if you jogged you could be there in 30 minutes.
“Before you say anything you’re staying your ass at home. I don’t want you getting pulled over for driving this late and if you even think about walking over here I’m gonna personally kick your ass.”
You laughed. He basically just read your mind.
“Come on Billy. I haven’t seen you in weeks…I miss you. I miss…”
You trailed off, he wasn’t one to be mushy so you didn’t want to talk about how you missed the calm you felt with him. You missed his big arms wrapped around you while you watched a movie, you missed giving him the little touches he was so deprived of. You just missed physically seeing and touching your boyfriend.
“Babe just look at a photo of me and masturbate. You’ll feel better.”
His laugh over the phone was something you wanted to commit to memory forever. While you yelled embarrassed at him he just chuckled and you could see in your mind the grin he was giving you.
“Billy I swear to God.”
You were red down to your toes. Despite his reputation as the selfish sex god of Hawkins high, you two had never actually slept together. Your relationship was slow to start, since you mainly hung out with his sister and her friends; but he actually got to know you and you got to know him. He opened up to you fully and when you didn’t judge or reject him, he promised to try and be what you deserved. Some days were better than others but he was a good boyfriend.
“Yeah yeah I know. Look I just wanted to call and let you know where I was staying for the next few days. You should get some sleep. Big day tomorrow baby.”
You had an interview at the radio station. It was just for a secretary role but it was a way to get your foot in the door.
“Thanks for remembering Billy. I’ll talk to you later okay?”
*I love you*. You wanted to say it but you two hadn’t dropped that bomb yet. You didn’t want to scare him off since you knew he was a very guarded person. He said his goodbyes and you hung up the phone. Maybe sleep was a good idea.
No matter how good the idea was, the sleep never came. You were too nervous for the interview so when 6am rolled around you got up, showered and got ready. You had about 8 hours to kill…which was great. The curfew was lifted at 9am and your interview was at 2 so you made breakfast and just counted down the moments until you could go outside.
Your dad dragged himself in at 8:45am and he passed out on the couch. You set him up with a blanket and pillow and grabbed his keys and wallet. The two of you needed more food and he trusted you not to do anything stupid, most of the time you didn’t.
Finally the curfew time was up and you were heading to the store. It was eerie lack of people that were around today, you had a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. Pulling into the parking lot there were only 5 other cars in the lot, so you made sure to park closer to the front of the mini mart.
No one was inside except for the hung over teenagers that worked there. Quickly grabbing your items you headed back to your car, only to find the door swung wide open.
*Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. My dad is going to kill me.* he loved his car, if someone stole the radio or something out of it you’d definitely be grounded for a year. Rushing over you didn’t see anything missing, but you realized why too late. Feeling a painful blow to the back of your head, immediately you went limp. The groceries spilled all over the ground as you were tossed in a truck bed, covered and taken in broad daylight.
—-
A/N: Definitely gonna be a series. The next part will be A LOT darker. So just warning you now!! Xx ❤️
Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5
#billy hargrove#billy hargrove x reader#billy stranger things#billy x reader#billy could have been saved#billy hargrove x female reader#billy x you#stranger things#billy deserved better#billy hargrove x you
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awsten knight in kerrang! issue #1654
(full text under the cut)
THE ULTIMATE ROCKSTAR TEST
AWSTEN KNIGHT
WATERPARKS
HOW DO YOU BECOME HEIR-APPARENT TO POP-PUNK'S THRONE? EAT CIGARETTES AND BREAK YOUR FEET…
ON ROCK'N'ROLL…
YOUR ALBUM'S CALLED DOUBLE DARE. WHAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE FOR A DARE?
"One time I lit my pants on fire. I was sitting on the couch with my friend, playing with matches, and he said, 'I bet you won't set your pants on fire.' I said, 'Fuck you', and I did it. We freaked out because the flames were getting really big, so he went and got a wet towel and squeezed it out over my pants. Another time I ate a cigarette in a graveyard while we were out there playing with a Ouija board.""
WHAT'S THE MOST OUT-OF-CONTROL SHOW YOU'VE EVER PLAYED?
"Back when we used to play just locally in Houston, we used to play a lot of small places. They were the sort of places where there was no security and no barricades, and a lot of the time people would basically be on the stage. They'd be stepping on pedal boards and stuff, so there were times when we had to ask them to please step off our equipment. It was all good fun."
HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED BECAUSE OF THE BAND?
"We saw this setting we wanted to take some new pictures by. Basically, we had to do some trespassing to get to the spot, and there was a 15-foot fence. When I jumped off it I landed very wrong and busted up both my feet. I don't remember what it's called, but there's this thing that connects the front and back of your feet, and I tore both of them."
We presume you mean tendons, but it could have been your socks.
FAILS AND F UPS…
WHAT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU ONSTAGE?
"I don't really get embarrassed, and if I do fuck something up it's usually on purpose, whether that's singing a part in a weird, goofy way or anything else. I can't even recall falling over onstage. There was one time I nearly went off a 10-foot stage at a House Of Blues venue somewhere. I was spinning round and went right to the edge, but I didn't die, so that's good."
WHAT'S THE WORST SONG YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN?
"I've written plenty of bad songs, but with Waterparks I'd say Bones Of '92 or Easter Egg. I just don't like Bones Of '92—it's not a very good song. With Easter Egg, it doesn't flow well and it doesn't make sense."
Did you hear that, everyone? No Easter eggs for Awsten this year…
LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS…
WHAT'S BEEN YOUR WEIRDEST-EVER FAN ENCOUNTER?
"There have been so many weird ones, but the one that made me feel the weirdest was when a mom came up and asked me to take a picture with her daughter. The girl was crying but I thought, 'Okay - sometimes people cry when they meet the bands they like. Then the mother said, 'She's sad because one of her best friends just died. Now take a picture with her, smile.' I was like, 'What the fuck is happening?" I was trying to talk to the daughter, the mom was oblivious and it was just the most awkward situation I've ever been in."
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE STARSTRUCK?
"The time I went to Pete Wentz's house. He was having us on his radio show for an interview and I couldn't believe I was there. He brought us out water in boxes, which was really weird. I was just sitting there going, "What the fuck, I'm at Pete Wentz's house!" It was nuts."
Water in boxes, eh? How the other half live…
ON THE HYPOTHETICAL…
GOOD CHARLOTTE ASK YOU TO GUEST ON A SONG, BUT WHAT THEY PLAY YOU IS SHIT. DO YOU TELL THEM?
"I would, but I'd definitely still do it. It might have been shitty on purpose, and if that was the case I could go and be shitty on purpose and get with that vibe. That could be really funny"
WOULD YOU RATHER BE ABLE TO SPEAK TO ANIMALS OR SPEAK EVERY HUMAN LANGUAGE FLUENTLY?
"Animals, easy. I talk to enough people as it is, and I love animals. I went to a pet adoption thing a couple of days ago and there was this dog looking at me. I felt like he loved me more than any human had ever loved me and he'd only just met me. If I could hear the love that he was expressing I would be completely fulfilled."
Get a dog-translator app-there probably is one now. Then feel the love…
SPIRITUAL HEADMELTER…
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?
"Yes, I do. I told you I ate that cigarette when I was in a graveyard with a Ouija board, and we used to do that a lot. We'd seek out haunted places a couple of times a week. I had to stop because I got too freaked out. It's really fun to do all that but then when you're alone afterwards, that fucking sucks."
Imagine how the ghosts feel when you leave…
"I USED TO GO LOOKING FOR GHOSTS A COUPLE OF TIMES A WEEK"
- AWSTEN KNIGHT
WORDS: PAUL TRAVERS PHOTO: ANDREW STUART
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Tale of my heart- part 2
Paring: Bruce Wayne x f!reader
Summary: can Batman rectify his mistake, or is it too late?
Warning: crying (lots of crying)
A/n: I'm still bad at describing settings but I'm trying.
Inspired by this song:
Part 1
Main masterlist
Bruce Wayne masterlist
Tags: @the-house-of-auditore-frye @maharani-radha-writes
Lifeless leaves crackled under his exhausted feeta as he moved closer to the familiar inscribed stones and two names that came into view.
Thomas and Martha Wayne
Cold winds swept by him but he didn't pay any mind. Blood moon lit the sky, as if bleeding on his fate.
His hand placed the white tulips on the grave and he slowly bent down, touching the rigid writings on the tombstones.
"Hi mom, hi dad. " He whispered.
"I... Met her. She was beautiful and smart too, I checked. But I, " He tried to swallow his emotion. "I let her go. My life is too dangerous, I can't be this selfish. "
His voice cracked. "That boy who dreamed about his soulmate is gone, he died with you, " The tears finally started pouring out. "All that's left is a man who hides behind a mask. " He kneeled down sobbing. "I don't deserve her, I don't. "
I don't deserve to be happy.
This thought gave flashbacks to the prior conversation he had with Alfred. Where he finally broke down and told him everything even that he did not deserve to be happy.
Alfred had told him that he knew Bruce blamed himself for what happened all those years ago, but that his parents always wanted to see him happy.
"All they wanted was your happiness. " He had said.
But how could he?
He looked at the gravestones and asked sobbing. "But you are not here. " He hiccuped and tightly clutched them.
"But a selfie part of me do want her. Tell me mom what should I do? Dad you should have been here? "
His crys echoed in the graveyard as weeped and weeped till the last of his tears dried.
Then he sat and starred at his parents as if asking for approval or answers, maybe both.
After sometime horizon started turning crimson, the chilly air now turning a pleasant breeze. A few brown leaves landed on the graves and some patels of tulip touched his feet. He looked at the graves before touching the patels near his feets.
Maybe he did deserve to be happy.
🌙
He looked at the tall building contemplating wheather to go or not.
Bruce had finally decided to correct his mistake and try to see if she would forgive him and beg for a chance.
He investigated (stalked) her and found out where she lived. And that was why he was standing below an apartment complex, wanting to get to her flat. The security guard won't let him enter that was for sure.
He took a deep breath as a plan formed in this mind. He discreetly entered the complex. The dark suit made him invisible in the pitch black. After he successfully dodged the guard(spoiler: he was sleeping)he searched around till he found her balcony. He took out his grappling hook and hooked it on her railing. And swiftly climbed to her place.
When he landed he saw she was still awake, watching TV. They were soulmate for a reason.
Gulping he knocked on the glass door her head instantly wipped to the door. She yelped and tumbled down the sofa. Shit, this is going to backfire.
He cleared his throat and said. "It is me."
He observed as she froze and then looked up , narrowing her eyes in puzzlement. As realization dawned in her face, it became stone cold.
He grimaced behind his mask and knocked again, thinking she would just ignore him or worse call the security.
But to his astonishment, she started making her way to the door, to him. Reaching it she skidded the door open. As soon as the door opened so did his pandora box.
"Listen y/n I'm sorry for invading your privacy. I'm here to say sorry, please forgive me for what I said. How I left you all alone and never told you why. But I want you for worse or for better, I would wait forever and ever. I broke your heart and I want to put it back together. Please give me a chance."
He exhaled after his speech and-
Bang
He realized too late that he had been hit by a bat as he was already falling down from her balcony. She did give a reply though.
"FUCK OF BATMAN."
He grunted as he fell to the ground with a thud. He looked up at her apartment and wondered. Did he thought she would just run into his arms? Did he really thought it was going to be easy?
Determination flashed through his eyes as he stood up and dusted off his suit.
Alfred called him stubborn for a reason.
🌙
So he started sending her flowers and letters to try to persuade her. He knew better to go in-person again, he was pretty sure he had a concussion so he did wanted to take any risks.
Everyday he dropped the gifts off, everyday he requested to meet, everyday he waited in the dark alley for her,everyday he returned back to his hotel room defeated.
He wanted her, wanted her forgiveness, wanted her love. He knew it was selfish of him to wish that after what he did to her.
But he wanted to be selfish for once.
It had been two weeks, following this routine and he was losing hope bit by bit every single day.
His thoughts were halted abruptly by the insistent ringing of his phone. Picking up he saw Alfred's name flashing on the screen.
He sighed and picked up the phone. "Hello"
"Master Bruce were you able to convince miss?"
"No" he said defeated.
"What is taking so long? Gordon-"
"Gordon! What happened to him? Is everything okay?" He hastily cut Alfred off. When he decided to go persuade her he told Gordon that he won't be coming for sometime due to personal reasons. Gotham and Gordon will freak out if batman went missing.
"Christ! Everything is alright, Gordon is also okay. He just came to ask for more funds for GCPD." Alfred explained.
Bruce sighed in relief but that quickly faded after hearing Alfred's next words.
"You didn't answer my question."
He groaned and replied. "No, she doesn't want to see Batman. " He didn't tell him the colourful words used by you.
"What about Bruce? "
"Huh? " Bruce said, dumbfounded.
"Did you tell her you are Bruce? "
He didn't. And he knew why, he was scared. Scared of revealing his deepest secret and what it would entail. Alfred also understood the silence and replied exasperated. "Seriously?! "
When silence still persisted he said. "Go figure." And hung up.
Bruce looked at the phone.
Yes it was time for Bruce to figure this fuck out.
🌙
You sat on your sofa in the gloomy room, melancholic. The music flowed in the air but did nothing to uplift you. The night was black accompanied by heavy rain and thunder. Crying with or on you.
You were inconsolable when you returned from Gotham. Morning and night marred by heart ache. As if everything fell into abyss.
Your parents were extremely worried. Broken heart, that was what plagued their nightmares.
When you saw all of this you decided that to stand up,again. What happened, happened. You might not be wanted by your soulmate but everyone else in your life wanted you till death. And that was enough, they were enough.
But that fateful night when you saw him. Standing on your balcony and calling you. Everything came rushing back. The pain, the suffering, the rejection.
You'd be lying if you said you paid attention to his speech. Something about forgiveness? Huh the audacity. You were so furious that you hit him with a bat and told him to never come back, again.
But what started after surprised you even more. He started sending flowers and letters every. Single. Day.
And the letters. Everyday he begged for forgiveness, for a chance, to meet in the alley. You read every letter and tore them up, just like he did. It felt like he poured his heart onto those papers but not all, something was still missing. But by each letter your persistence was loosening it's grip. Bit by bit.
Your eyes flew open by the ringing of your phone, you immediately answered it.
"Hello"
"Hello mam, someone is here to meet you. " The guard your brain supplied.
"Who's there? "
After a long pause he answered, which almost made you drop your mobile. "Bruce Wayne. "
Why is he here? At this time? "I'm coming. " You said and rushed downstairs.
🌙
When you reached, you stopped dead in your tracks.
Because the Bruce Wayne was standing there completely soaked in the winter rain. You immediately rushed beside him, the rain splattering on the ground and on your umbrella.
"Mr. Wayne what are you doing here? At this time. " You asked and tried to prevent him from the rain by the umbrella.
He looked at it and gently pushed it away. "No need I'm already soaked, " Looking away he said. "It's been a long time and I was too afraid. "
"Huh? "
He turned to you and said. "I'm here to talk to you, can we? " He looked at the entrance.
You understood his unspoken words. "Yes please. " And gestured for him to follow you.
🌙
You left the umbrella outside and entered Bruce following suit, water trickling down from his body to the floor.
Without caring about your sofa you told him. "Please sit. " He did without complaint.
You also sat across from him and gestured for him to speak. He didn't, silence stretched across the room while you tried not to fidget because of the intensity.
Then he spoke. "See your mate mark. "
"What? "
"See your mate mark. " He repeated.
You hesitantly pulled up your sleeve to see it and when you did it felt like you had been hit by a truck.
It was glowing. You looked up to see Bruce, tears building in your eyes. You had so many questions.
A tear ran down his cheek. "I'm Batman. I was the one who rejected you because I wanted to keep you safe and... "
He went on but you zoned out the moment he those words "I'm Batman" You could mildly hear the words of Talyor singing.
And you could know, oh
That I don't want you to go
It all made sense now, the rejection, the coldness, the pained expression. And when you saw Bruce leave the wayne tower that day and how you felt, empty like someone was taking away your peace.
He was still talking so you put up your hand to stop him. Standing up you moved towards him. "If only you would have told me before." You said solemnly and slowly.
He hung his head low as you sat beside him. Exhaling a shaky breath and lightly touched his rough face making him look at you.
And say you want me
"I'm not afraid of men in masks. " You confessed and the flood gates of both of you opened.
Before you knew it you both were meeting halfway in a passionate kiss. His hands flew to your waist as he brought you in his lap. You caressed his neck not caring that he was still wet.
When you both finally parted you gazed into his eyes, lovingly and hugged him tightly.
You had no questions now.
🌙
Warm breeze wrestled the leaves. The sky was like glass and the winter sun shined brilliantly. The gloomy Gotham was pleasant today. Tranquility, that was all he felt.
He gently bent down and delicately placed the tulips on the grave, light jingling filling the air. He starred at the tombstones silently talking, hoping they could hear.
After some time he sighed in contentment he slowly stood up again. Giving them one last glance. He felt a hand wrap around his. He looked at her and smiled, she smiled back and rested her head on his shoulder.
He intertwined his hand with the henna tattooed one. Softly kissing her forehead. They languidly walked out of the cemetery.
He was happy
#battinson x female reader#bruce wayne x reader#battinson x reader#battinson x y/n#bruce wayne x fem!reader#bruce wayne x desi! reader#the batman#bruce wayne#batman imagine#the batman 2022#bruce wayne imagine#robert pattinson#Spotify
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I need to go back to bed but I wanna write the details of this dream down
Idk where I was but it was dark and there were so SOOOOOOOO many people there. Fox was in his mask and the layout around us was pretty damn big. I couldn't see much but the color of this place was dark red and black and maybe a lil white coming through because of fox's reflective eyes.
I remember feeling stuck, both physically and metaphorically I think I was in a chair along with all these people and they may have been trying to decide our fates. It was a little game. If I didn't manage to win them over, they'd let fox take me away
(I died many times due to that and each time was filled with more gore than the last! And GOD fox was so talkative each time like DUDE I know you wanna savor it but C'MON shut up please and lemme die. [I apparently died so much to the point where I was annoyed at him] I remember him saying something the last time I ever died though.
Something about us not being so different and how he was in awe at our similarities, how we could do so much if only I knew how
Well, similarity didn't matter too much in the end cause the guy killed me anyway 🙄
This time though, I won the people over and oh boy was fox panicked... I think at some point I was on some sort of throne because I remember looking down at him and seeing that terrified almost pleading look in his eye. It made me feel like I finally got the chance to do something (even though I'm not sure how I got there or what i even did)
I don't recall seeing him being taken away but it felt like he was gone in a blink and then....
There was....
Light. People with faces, and many many brown bags
I was also awarded with food! But because I succeeded I couldn't finish it all and had to leave this place. (idk man, this specific place had specific rules ig) and once I was out I was in the dark again, but this time I was looking for someone.
Someone was calling out to me and that voice was of a child in a house shrouded in darkness. But, each time I went inside the house I didn't come back out with her. Somehow I traveled back to get my mom and my bio father and we all went to the house to try and find this kid.
With them with me the house had finally lit up on the inside but not out. I feel like we found her but there was no child to be seen Just people who couldn't actually see us, maybe ghosts? Or we were the ghosts? The house could've trapped us or the house just wanted company.
Either way, time passed and the people were gone and so was my bio father. So now it was just me and my mom in that big house, living there.
I asked her if she wanted me to make her a lemon egg pie she always talks about and said "Sure!" In her usual enthusiastic voice. No I was just living in the dream, pulling out lemons, a grater, and a bowl. I thought about retrieving the sugar, eggs, and milk but I didn't follow through with it because I had to tell mom: "I'm going to have to use the last three lemons for it."
She then told me to wait as I already had a lemons juice squeezed into a bowl. I shook my head and walked to her to go tell her that. but before I could, my dream ended.
Okay, I'm gonna go back to sleep now
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eight - sunshine
| WORD OF YOUR BODY
lee minho x fem!oc | hyunjin x fem!oc
tags: Uni!Au, smau, pining, eventual smut, drugs, descriptions of past violence, people are complicated and that's okay
Felix remembered the Eva of nine years ago, when he saw her off at the airport. Overjoyed at the prospect of seeing his cousin again has made his friends curious about the mysterious cousin. Even more so when she's nothing like he described.
Eva remembers Felix, the only cousin close to her in age, who lit up every room he stepped into. He's the only thing that doesn't hurt about her family anymore. And he's still the same as he was nine years ago, like he had been frozen in time. She's not.
note: content warning!!! - discussions of abandonment, hints at domestic abuse
| MASTERLIST
A few minutes later, Eva found herself gently knocking on the door to Felix's dorm. Anxiously fidgeting with her rings, she waited for the door to open.
The door did open, but it was an unfamiliar face at the other end.
"Hi- um, are you Hyunjin? I'm here for Felix."
"That's me," The taller boy smiled, "Come in."
Eva stepped into the dorm and was instantly surprised by the aesthetic and cleanliness of the room. The small living space containing a simple kitchenette and couch was decorated in a soft, cozy vibe, with various paintings hanging on the walls.
"His door is the one with the ivy on it," Hyunjin said, gesturing to one of the three doors attached to the small main room. "If you two need anything let me know."
"Thanks..." Eva awkwardly said, kicking off her boots and heading to Felix's bedroom.
Gently rapping on the door, she leaned on it.
"Lixie? It's me, Eva."
There was all the way, and then the door slowly opened.
Eva was about to complain about almost falling but stopped when she caught sight of her younger cousin. The hood of his jumper was pulled all-the-way up, obscuring some of his face. She hadn't seen him this sad since they were young when she was saying goodbye to them at the airport.
"Thanks," Felix said quietly, as she entered the room and closed the door behind her.
All the lights were off in the bedroom, but even in the dark she could see the clean and cozy decoration of the main room carried into Felix's bedroom.
Eva followed Felix to the bed, pulling him into a hug once they were seated.
"What's up?" She asked softly, squeezing him gently.
He pulled her closer, burying himself in her hold, head on her shoulder, as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible.
"Do you wanna lay down and cuddle?"
He nodded his head against her skin, "Hold me?"
Slowly, as it was more difficult while she was still hugging him, she shuffled back on the bed until she was against the headboard. She spread her legs wider on the bed before slowly pulling a stray blanket over-top of the two of them.
He shifted, so that he was laying in between her legs but left one leg sprawled over hers at an odd angle, arms tight around her waist. His hood had fallen off in their shifting, so she began gently combing through his hair, smiling softly to herself as he hummed against her skin.
They laid in silence for awhile before Felix finally spoke again, "Why'd you leave?"
"You know that already, my father couldn't stand Sydney after my mom died."
"No, why did you leave. You stopped talking to us completely after two years and never answered anyone's mail or phone calls. I love having you back, Ev, butit'ss been seven years since any of us heard from you. I didn't even know that you were studying dance or were attending University?"
She bit her lip, holding him a little tighter.
"I didn't have control of the situation, Lix."
"You reached out to my mom over Facebook, you could've done that years ago."
"I couldn't have, Lix."
"It's easy-"
"It wasn't!"
She hated that she raised her voice to Felix, body instantly tensing.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have raised my voice, please forgive me."
"You don't have to apologize," Felix said, finally looking up at her and moving away from her shoulder. "I just want to know why you abandoned us."
"You remember my dad?" Eva said, her voice quiet and meek.
"Overprotective and a little weird, but other than that he's alright?" Felix said, "Why do you ask?"
"He's- he wasn't like that after we moved. I don't know what happened after my mom died, but he... he changed." Eva said, "Overprotective is sugar-coating for what he was like."
"Was? Is he-"
"Dead? Yeah."
"What? How? Why?"
She curled up, avoiding her gaze as tears began to form.
"We-, it was normal-" Her voice broke as she was overcome with the need to hide, "Forget I said anything-"
"No." Felix pulled out of her hold, sitting up and cupping her face so she looked up at him. "Eva, what happened."
"He found my acceptance letter for Seoul Arts, and when we were in the car, he-" She sniffled, "He confronted me about it. He's usually mad, but was furious- about me breaking his rules. He took his hand off the wheel to-"
She cut herself off, pulling out of Felix's hold to curl away, out of view. But he was faster, gently tugging on her shoulders to pull her closer. She allowed it, curling into him and trying to focus on his heartbeat, his warmth, anything but what her brain was conjuring.
"He didn't see the car coming his way. T-Bone, on his side. Killed him."
She was so cold in his hold, so small and so scared.
"After all these years, he seemed invincible. In one moment he's threatening to leave me stranded on the side of the road, and next he's dead. He's gone yet I can't forget him, can't forget it."
"Did- does my mom know?"
"Yeah. My only emergency contact was him, but your mom was the witness on my birth certificate. They called her."
"Ev, I'm sorry what happened to you. I wish-"
"You wouldn't have been able to do anything. He had years to poison you guys in my mind, I only started unlearning when I went to university."
"But I could've been there for you."
"Lix, he had me on lockdown. I didn't even know you guys had been trying to reach me. We moved from Madríd after six months. Anything you would've sent would go to someone else."
"Nothing was ever returned to us."
"That's a question for a dead man then."
"Among many."
The two cousins sat in silence, holding one another as they cried, the world outside the cozy dark room forgotten.
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i figured i’d put some of the fics i wrote on here, just 4 fun :)
(proof read)
Tw! Mentions of self harm and abuse. Dont read this if it makes you uncomfortable please.
You sat on the tile floor of your bathroom, desperately trying to block out the noises of your fathers tv loudly playing from the living room with your headphones. You were contemplating on using the blade again.
You couldn't take anymore of your fathers beatings, he was awful to you, but you didnt want anyone to worry about you, you were already a wast of space, as your father said. You slid the razor across you wrist, more tears falling from your eyes when the you saw the blood that came gushing out.
Why couldn't he just stop? Why did this have to happen to you? You never did anything wrong. It all started when your mom died a few years ago. He blamed you for her death, when you had nothing to do with it. You were at school, completely clueless about everything. You had nothing to do with it.
It was when you had came home from school and walked in her room to ask for something, when you saw her laying on the floor, her skin a almost milky white color. There was blood everywhere. All over her collar of the black sweater she wore.
Even the neighbors heard the blood curtailing scream you let out, your mom was dead right in front of you. She slit her throat. And to this day, you still don't know why. Your father seems to know, but refuses to talk about it.
It all makes it even more weird.
Why did she do that out of nowhere?
She always had a smile on her face, always cheerful, happy, caring, just a great mother. Then that happened. You hated thinking about it, it made you even more depressed.
Soon, you started to clean your wrist. When you were done, you heard your phone ringing. You looked at it, to see it was your boyfriend. He was calling you. So, you answered, hearing his calming tone through the phone, making your stomach flutter.
"Hey y/n, wanna come over for the weekend?" Ricky said through the phone. You didn't wanna get caught, but is was worth it. "Y-yea sure, lemme get s-some stuff." It was normal for you to stutter, since you've always been super shy, and from all the trauma, always scared you were gonna say something wrong.
"Okay, i'll be outside my house, on the porch, see you there." You nodded, but remembered he couldn't see you. "Yeah, i'll be th-there soon. Love you." He chuckled, "Love you too, y/n." He said, you hanging up. Getting up and walking out of the bathroom, you grabbed your cigarettes, that you snagged from your dad, a bag, some shirts and skinny jeans, makeup, jewelry, phone charger, and you were off.
You opened your window and climbed out, making sure to close it. You practically sprinted out of the backyard, climbing the fence and running to Ricky's. It took a good 5 minutes.
You soon got there, seeing him on the porch, like he said. "R-ricky! I'm here!" You said, out of breath. "Hey love! Did you run here or something?" He asked, curious of why you were breathing so heavily. "Y-yea, i did actually, i w-wanted to s-see you.." you smiled, hugging him, and pulling away when he pulled your face up to kiss him.
"I missed you so much." He nuzzled his face in your hair, enjoying your presence very much. "I-it was only a f-few days, Ricky." You joked, leaning into his touch. You always loved how nice Ricky always smelt, he was very warm too.
"I know, but I still missed you. My mom is gone for the weekend, she went to see her friends and party, sooooo she left food for us cause i can't cook." You giggled, taking in the sent of vanilla and pumpkin spice as you walked into his home.
"Come on, lets go to my room, I'm bored." He didn't give you any time to respond, as he practically dragged you into his room. "I already picked out a few movies, they're all Tim Burton."
Your whole face lit up, and you looked at him with a happy smile. He was the only one who could make you smile so wide. You loved it, it made you feel like someone actually cared about you. You sat on his bed, watching as he put on Edward Scissorhands.
He sat beside you as you took off your platforms, curling up beside him. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head and holding you close. Safe in his grasp. He always made you feel so safe and protected, no matter what. Thats what you love about him.
It made you think about your home, how you never feel safe there. Ever. The empty beer bottles, the abuse, the constant harm you caused to yourself. The thought always made you zone out, and soon Ricky noticed this and became quite concerned.
He waved a hand im front of your face, quickly getting your attention. "Love, what's wrong? You were just so happy, whats on your mind?" He asked, looking into your e/c eyes with his light blue ones. "I, u-uhm, i-its no-" He cut you off. "No, y/n somethings wrong, your face says it all. So, i'll ask you again, whats wrong?"
You didn't wanna tell him, you didn't want him to worry about you, it would put to much pressure on him, he already had to deal with the bullying and harassment at school. "Y/n, i don't wanna pressure you into telling me, but please, please tell me whats wrong, i care about you, i really do. So, tell me?"
"I-i- uhm...." You couldn't get the words out. "M-my f-father abu- h-he-" His face dropped. "he what?!" Ricky already knew what you had to say. He could tell what the word was. He was almost blinded my rage and worry, he didn't like seeing or hearing that you were hurt in any way possible.
He let go of you, quickly getting up and walking to the door of his room. "R-ricky! Please i-i dont w-wanna deal w-w-with him right now!" You said, walking after him in panic. You had started crying by now, from the worry and the fact you didn't know what your father would do if he found out you had left to see ricky.
He looked over at you, him seeing you crying, which made him give in almost immediately, pulling you into his grasp to hold you. He hugged you, picking you up amd bringing you to the bed and sitting down with you in his lap. down. "Shhh...y/n its okay, you're safe here, calm down, I wont leave I promise."
He ran his hands through your hair, trying to comfort you as well as he could. Soon, your cries turned into little sniffles, so ricky took this as the opportunity to put his hand underneath your chin to make you look up at him.
He wiped your tears away, pulling you into a passionate kiss. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, holding you close. "Wanna change? I can give you one of my hoodies. You can wear a pair of my boxers as shorts, since you really only have jeans, okay?"
He told you, and he felt you tense up when he brought this up. "Dont worry, you can change in my bathroom" You nodded, letting him get up to get them. He handed you them, and you quickly grabbed your tooth brush and tooth past, practically sped walking into the bathroom.
You slipped on the hoodie, deciding you would just tell ricky about your self harm later. You didn’t wanna have a possible meltdown. You slipped the boxers on, walking out of the bathroom and towards ricky, who was watching the movie while waiting on you.
As he turned and looked at you, he immediately noticing your thighs. You didn't say anything, just got onto the bed and under the covers with him. He wrapped his arms around you again, turning your head and making you look at him. You looked into his concerned filled eyes, already knowing what he was gonna say.
"Its obvious I saw your...thighs...but we can talk about that later, okay? I don't want you to be upset anymore. I love you, y/n. Forever and always, remember?" You smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "I love you too, ricky. Forever and always."
He nuzzled your neck, making you giggle. His hands ran through your hair, knowing all too well that it makes you relaxed and comfortable. He pulled you even closer (if that was even possible at this point), kissing your forehead and closing his eyes.
"I love you ricky, so much..." You mumbled, falling asleep. He smiled lightly, his arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand still running through your hair. "I love you so much more, y/n. sweet dreams."
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Hello ! Good day to you ^^! May i order Prompt 13, Lilia Vanrouge drabble please? Thank you ^-^ Have a great week and i hope your event goes well !!!
-> 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙮𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙨 ,, 𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙪𝙥 ,, 𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩” ! ꒱·˚ ,, #O5.27.22🍵 ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵
prompt: 13. “you’re honestly the father i’ve always wanted, but never received.” + Lilia Vanrouge
tws: abandonment, verbal argument, and divorce, gn!reader, familiar relationship. time set before the original plot, child reader.
the first time you met Lilia, you nearly died. it was partially your fault for getting lost in a forest, but you were thankful. you weren’t sure how you entered the forest, or for how long you ran, you just remembered running until you blacked out, the sight of a terrifying monster enough to knock you out. by the time you woke up, you were being cared for by a strange man who you’d thought was a rather small boy, but the sound of his voice convinced you he was definitely much older.
when you awoke, he noticed immediately and smiled at you and tried talking as you blinked, trying to process everything. you remembered leaving your house, afraid to return. your parents were fighting again, you remembered your father screaming he didn’t want a child, he only married your mother because their families pressured them to do so since she was going to have you.
you couldn’t hear what the man was saying when you felt hot tears streaming down your face. you didn’t mean to cry, but your father’s face when he said that mixed with the obvious resentment in his voice as your mom tried to get you to stay in your room to not hear any of his words were still fresh in your own mind. the second your tears hit the blanket, you felt the bed dip as the man sat next to you, giving you a tissue.
that was how you met, crying your eyes out to a stranger, not just any, but the one who changed your life. he listened to you cry and rant as he asked you what was wrong and if you were alright, calling humans such an odd creature for being able to say such a thing to their own offspring. you were reluctant to go home, as was he to let you, but you knew your mother would be worried. after two nights with the man who listened to your troubles, you returned to your home, and shortly after the forest. the screaming from the two only got worse, you sought comfort once more in the wilderness.
once again, you met. he heard the sound of your footsteps, your choked sobs, and found you curled by a tree stump. he stayed by your side and listened to what had happen the past week, before you realized it you’d found yourself in that forest, the exact same spot, at least three times a month until he made a proposal to you.
“if your parents don’t want you, how about you live with me? i have a son a little older than you.” he proposed, making your eyes light up. he had to admit, he was tired of seeing your eyes filled with tears. children should have a light in them. something which can’t be burnt, rather than a dimly lit one. you hesitated, but agreed. you knew you shouldn’t trust strangers who appeared in forests and called humans “odd creatures”, but you much preferred your chances with him than back at home.
as soon as you took his hand, it felt like an instant that you were back at his house, only this time, you’d met his son. a silver haired boy that was a little older than you, sleeping soundly on the floor between the hall. you were slightly weirded out that he would let his son sleep there. once the boy woke up and greeted you, yawning and apologizing for falling asleep again, you got to understand he was just a really tired person, but he was happy to know you even if his face didn’t express it well.
you quickly got used to the fae’s home and daily life. you understood you needed to learn how to cook, for the sake of silver’s and your’s survival. you also learned about fae culture, physical training, and much more. you found yourself seeing Lilia as your own father, no, the father you’d always wanted and respected over the years.
after dinner, you washed the plates and went outside for a bit of fresh air, staring up at the night sky. the wind was a little strong, Lilia came out to tell you to put on a coat or come back inside. you were still lost in a daze, admiring the night sky and the events which changed your life to the point of where it was now.
“you’re honestly the father i’ve always wanted, but never received.” you told him, letting your thoughts slipped. as soon as you realized what you said, you waited for his response. to your surprise, you felt your body getting pulled into a tight hug by Lilia, who was nearly crying from joy. he’d thought of you as his child for awhile, but after hearing it from your own lips for the first time he was filled with joy.
the two of you never expressed yourself as father and child to others, but the both of you had always thought the same thing. you didn’t need similar blood for him to be your father, nor did you have to know him your entire life for him to feel like one. smiling, you both chuckle at one another’s faces, returning back into your house.
✎ ˎˊ- "chocodollxren" [choco - doll - rhen] ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵ dn repost
hope you enjoy your tea!! <33 thank you for ordering! and thank you for that! hsjhsha i’m surprised myself by how well the event is going. i’ve done 4/25+ orders + hit my second follower milestone all together. still bewildering to me people actually read my content, and this all started a month and a half ago. thank you to everyone for your kind words! i should be uploading one more tea in a few hours, to not spam tags!
#twst wonderland#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst drabble#twisted wonderland drabble#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#twst lilia vanrouge#twisted wonderland lilia#＃—;❝ 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘢 + 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘴 [🍵] ❞#＃—; ❝ 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘱 [🍵] ❞
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please talk more about the silt verses. your posts are so good and really get me thinking about the characters. do you have any paige or hayward thoughts? if not, then more faulkner?
THANK U ANON!! you are very sweet :]
i will admit in my sibling brainrotting i have neglected the other two leads a bit, but no more!! here, for your enjoyment, is a very long list of thoughts on paige and hayward!
⚠️ spoilers ahoy!! ⚠️
ok, Paige first :]
so i must confess right out the gate that it was very hard for me to get a pulse on Paige at first, but i believe i’ve got her down now. to me, her story is very much one of “the war is not here, so i don’t have to worry”, in a metaphorical sense. yes, people are dying, and gods are feeding, but i’m safe. i live in a penthouse. i have a job that pays well. i don’t have to worry. any death that happens is happening somewhere far away, where i don’t have to look at it.
and then Vaughn dies, and the fire is lit. the “war” is at Paige’s doorstep. if someone that close to Paige isn’t safe, then maybe she’s not safe. maybe she’s never been safe. and so she drinks herself to sleep, and one day she drives out, and runs into two (and later, three) new perspectives on everything.
i think this relates very well to how the Tree ends up developing later. it hating everyone and wanting everyone dead is sort of an extension of this and the greater series discussions of capitalism. under the current system, literally everyone is complicit in some suffering. someone was sacrificed so you could turn the lights on. people have died for your fast food. the good person/bad person binary that they put into the god failed to acknowledge this, and so, since everyone benefits from the suffering of some unseen individual, all deserve to die by its logic.
and Paige has to know this on some level. she helped with the marketing/designing of gods and saints. those entities she had a hand in making most certainly went on to feed on others. but it’s fine. it’s an invisible person being wronged, and you don’t have to look. and if Paige had this awareness/guilt in the back of her mind and it filtered into the Tree somehow… she might be responsible for even more death.
despite all of this, she plays an everyman character with surprising efficiency. i think because we’re introduced to her as someone with a mundane job who isn’t drenched (lol) in cult antics that we settle in with her easily, despite the fact that (with the exception of Shrue), she’s the most financially well-off of the main cast. when she’s trying to figure out how to market the Tree, she considers marketing it to people like her before her father suggests prisoners instead. he’s much less well-off, and so he understands the lower-class plight better than she does. she ends up seeming most normal by comparison, at least until the back half of season 2 hits. i hope we get to see more active in the back half of this season. maybe she’ll get to kill someone personally!!
now, for Hayward.
Hayward’s whole ordeal is that he craves purpose. he tells his mom he’s going to be a cop when he’s young and then he becomes it. it’s a direction and drive and it keeps him going. he’s at his lowest in the front half of season 2 because he’s purposeless, essentially using his personal investigation as the one thing keeping him from killing himself. then, he gets to make a god with Paige and Dennis, and gets to worship that god, and suddenly he has purpose again. he’s much happier in season 3 because of that wonderful purpose.
this is fascinating for a number of reasons, first being that he’s one of the few characters to have (seemingly) wholly benefitted from a god. pretty much all god encounters have some mental downside even if you’re physically benefitting, like in the harvest god episode. but because Hayward doesn’t have to make the sacrifices himself, and he’s very purpose-driven, this whole thing is a positive for him.
but there’s a little bit of insidiousness to it. see, Hayward’s role in the force was mostly one of submission. he was following someone else’s orders. he gets to even play bad-cop/meek-cop for a bit in season 1 because stepping out of line means The Stink and he’s so dedicated to this purpose of his that he wants to stay in line. he’s a dog, essentially.
but, when it comes to the Tree, he has a bit of power. he was one of the people who made the Tree, after all. and with Dennis dead and Paige largely out of commission, he gets to direct things, if he likes. and he does, he makes little changes and suggestions without Paige’s input. he’s still submissive to his higher purpose, but he has power within that. the leash is given more slack. he could fully usurp Paige, but he hasn’t, and i find that very, very interesting. quite honestly, he could go full zealot mode later in this season and it wouldn’t seem out of character to me. he’s got potential for that sort of swimmy-eyed shining-teethed sweaty-grinned devotion.
generally though, he’s fun! he’ll do something bumbling or endearing and then turn around and do something that reminds you of just how much of a scumbag he can be. old ham dies hard. i also loved the coal dinner episode and how he dealt with it all. cornered dogs biting and all that. maybe he’ll get a really vicious moment this season. personally i hope Val fucks him up because i’ve had an idea for a joke animatic in my brain for months if it goes real. she could turn him inside out. i believe in her.
and now… my favorite part… character comparisons >:] i love motifs and i love foils and man if tsv’s main six right now don’t have em… here’s four.
Paige and Faulkner: man if these two ever meet up it’s going to be wild.
for starters, Paige being a confirmed prophet provides a baseline for prophet behavior within the series, and therefore provides an avenue of comparison to Faulkner, who’s own prophet status is up for debate. whether it comes down to prophet/prophet mirroring or prophet/false prophet mirroring, there’s still a parallel there.
they’re both suffering from the responsibility of their role and are holed up and left to their own devices when not needed, Paige having her cottage and Faulkner having his room. Paige explicitly engages in unhealthy coping mechanisms whiles doing this, and i fully believe Faulkner does as well.
they’re also both close with Carpenter in different ways, and depending on how things go, i could see this as either a point of bonding or a point of animosity. they could end up sitting down and having a discussion with someone who actually gets it… or they could get very petty very quickly. transgender solidarity or transgender hostility, take your pick.
Paige and Shrue: bit of an oddball choice, but hear me out.
they’ve got very similar premises but end up going in wildly different directions. they’re (kinda) de-facto everymen by being less In The Soup than everyone else, but that's because of their white-collar status. they’re Above the soup, if you will. they smell it every day, but they aren’t broiling between the chunks of meat.
they’ve got strong ideas about what an ideal future looks like, one without gods and sacrifice. that’s why they specifically want to recruit Shrue, their morals line up with what the Tree faith believes in.
Hayward and Carpenter: dogs dogs dogs dogs
i already talked about the diner scene a while back so imagine all that nestled into here. tldr, they have the same doubts about their respective place in season 1, and they move towards a new purpose in season 3.
i talked about Hayward’s dogginess in his segment, but Carpenter’s got quite a bit of dogginess to her too. there’s the explicit “attack dog of the faith” comment that gets made in the s2 finale but also the similar following orders thing. Carpenter walks out, metaphorically taking the collar off, but her whole “i want to be good, let me die useful” thing is just her putting on a different one. which, y’know, this time it’s a chosen binding, but you’re still bound either way. and this applies to Hayward too. exchanged his detective job for the Tree. will their respective choices pay dividends, or will they feel the yank of their self-imposed leashes?
Hayward and Val: it’s just one but it’s tasty
Val joined the military because of her mother and Hayward joined the force because of his mother. both of them expected honor from their respective professions of violence and ended up embittered with it as a result. as much torment as he went through, Hayward’s lucky that he didn’t end up in Val’s place. what sort of saint would he end up being, then? the truth-teller that Carpenter spoke of, perhaps?
there’s definitely More to talk about with these two but i think this is good for now. i’m hoping to relisten to all of tsv over the series break and take extensive notes so hopefully i’ll thread a couple more dots together. thank you so much for your interest!! a hug for you across the net :]
#anon ask#tsv#long post#paige duplass#hayward#eyeteeth speaks#analysis#took me waaay too long to type all this up but i hope u enjoy!!
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creatures united as things my friends and i have said/incorrect quotes part six
bex: sluttin it up on the interwebs bc my boyfriend made me mad
bex: sluttin it up backfired he wants all the pictures
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indigo: what if i dyed my leg hair
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seph: helena aves, i am TRYING to slut it up for you reply to me please
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indigo, referencing a 5sos tiktok: im making you and cam make this with me
etie: do it
indigo: you get to be c swizzle bbg dw
etie: omg
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seph: dude that sounded so wet
carter: what?
seph: his ass
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simon: [sends indigo spicy text]
indigo: WHATS GOING ON??? I’M A BABY BOY, I WAS JUST READING THE MAZE RUNNER.
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helen: i feel like i have very fingerable hair
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gray: who lives in a papaya under the sea?
joseph: me!!!
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cameron: i have a stomach of iron
bex: you literally have ibs
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etie: the only ones i trust to be ginger are helen and joseph
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indigo: simon said i could be flounder in the little mermaid
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helen: oh no i think fancy pants is in love with me
joseph: oh no
joseph: not fancy pants
joseph: ANYONE BUT FANCY PANTS
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simon: this is the most twink picture ive ever taken (i’m literally howl pendragon)
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gray: my back hurts so bad all i did was wake up
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indigo: save a horse ride a cowboy idk
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carter: why am i so alone?
seph: don’t worry kid we’ll sign you up for eharmony when we get home
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[mothers day]
simon: my moms dead so i deserve the money
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bex: ur slutty hawaiian shirt dad is back
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helen: yk maybe i should redo my sims
helen: bc etie kinda uh
helen: lit herself on fire and died in front of my sim
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joseph: i’m running out of petnames
carter: google them?? idk
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seph: anyways i’m not gay
indigo: sure, and i’m not an emo twink that lives in the south
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etie: i think i made have accidentally made my ai bot sentient
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indigo: you threatened to kill me, i’m not that desperate
simon: cmon you can’t hold a grudge forever
indigo: THAT WAS 30 SECONDS AGO
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cameron: stab him in the penis
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Wildcard, Chapter 3 (Steve)
Summary: Steve Rodgers found you on the side of the road after a mission involving Hydra and convinced the Avengers to take you in. You have no name, no memories, and no idea of what you are capable of. All you know is that you are a super soldier with more hidden abilities than you care to admit. The first step to finding answers was to train you. Nobody, including you, knows what is up your sleeve.
Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson
Warnings: Mentions of blood/violence, Trauma, nightmares,
Words: 2.5k
A/N: hello friends! i have returned! I am a bit rusty but please enjoy this long awaited continuation of Wildcard.
The table underneath you was frozen from the amount of stress you had been under. They just kept injecting things into you, hoping to get some kind of reaction from your body. You had stopped feeling the pain of the needle and experiments weeks ago, which just made everything worse for you in the long run. They were getting annoyed with the fact you had stopped reacting to whatever painful serum they had injected you with that day and it resulted in beating to get a reaction from you. You stared up at the cracked ceiling of your concrete room and counted each crack for the millionth time. You kept yourself company in your mind, getting lost in your thoughts to pass the time until your next beating. You shivered at the cold beneath you, the last serum made ice bleed from every one of your pores. You heard the shrill sound of the old iron door open from the side of the room, you didnt turn your head to see whoever came in anymore, they were all the same type of evil.
“Your wounds have healed very quickly, you are replicating the progress of our last soldier.” said the thick voice. You hated to think someone else had gone through this hell before you had. You wondered if they escaped or died before they moved onto you.
You felt a burn in the back of your throat, “What’s on the menu today doc? Electro-therapy? Waterboarding? New superhuman power that causes injury to one of your minions?” The one fond memory in your head of this place, being your body set itself on fire as well as one of the more hostile minions of Hydra. You smirked fondly at the memory as the hydra doctor worked his way around you observing the healing process. Every wound that opened on your body disappeared within a couple of hours, which is apparently what they wanted.
“Nothing on the menu today, we are going to start to prepare you for the memory wipe.” Was all the man said and you felt your heart jump into your throat as the man chuckled, “You will do great things for us, American Girl.” You started pulling at your restraints for the first time in weeks, trying to fight your way off of the table once again. The man gave you a sickening chuckle while watching you struggle and you glared at him. He reached up to run a dirty hand slowly up your leg, “Such a pretty girl, such a shame you must-” He ended his sentence abruptly as you lit your body on fire, burning the man’s flesh. You grinned at him as your body started to fizzle out. He held his burnt hand to his body and looked at you with rage, “You stupid slut.”
You continued to grin as he left the room, feeling somewhat accomplished. Your smile slowly faded as you thought back on the memories they would take from you. Y/N Y/L/N, you were a successful accountant in one of the most successful banks in Manhattan. You lived alone, your mom became an alcoholic after his death and ultimately drank herself to death. Your job would have already replaced you by now, and people would have stopped looking for you. You stopped fighting for an escape because you knew you had nothing to go back to.
-
You felt as if you were set on fire, every part of your body was burning up. Your skin felt like lava and your hair was stuck to your sweat drenched forehead as you heaved air into your lungs.
No, no, no, no. Not again please.
The sound of your name sounded disant, as if someone was whispering it from another room all before the voice suddenly got louder.
“Y/N,” Your eyes snapped open and you instinctively started fighting whoever was holding you down.
“Y/N! Y/N Stop! Stop it, it’s me!” The lights suddenly flicked on to revel the disheveled super soldier in front of you.
Your entire body relaxed as your eyes scanned the familiar room. Running your hands over your face into your hair you sighed, “I’m sorry, I just-” You stared at your friend unable to explain everything going through your head, “I think I was just having a nightmare.”
He looked at you with sympathetic eyes before he walked slowly back over to the bed. He remained silent as he sat back against the pillows next to you and then nudged you with his arm, “Good morning.” He said quietly. You let out a small chuckle, Steve knew you so well he has learned if you wanted to talk about it you would, he never asked for more information then what you gave him when it came to the nightmares. You looked at the nightstand staring at the big angry red letters that read, 4:15am. Groaning and throwing the blankets back you stood, before you decided to walk you stretched your arms over your head and held the blissful position before heading for Steve's bathroom door.
Y/N Y/L/N
You stopped in the doorway before turning back to Steve, “Did the team ever figure out my last name or who I am at all?”
“Not that I’m aware of, Stark created a couple of programs to try and figure out your identity but no luck yet,” The blond responded with a eyebrow quirked at you, “Why?”
“I think I figured it out.” Steve’s eyes grew large as he stood up from the bed. You’ve slept in the same bed as Steve before but he was always up before you and you were always asleep before him so you never got time to admire the soldier, until now. You realized Steve only slept in a pair of boxer briefs and you only slept in Steve's tee shirt and panties. Unable to stop your eyes they traveled down the length of his beautiful body before you stopped and mentally scolded yourself. Steve was your best friend, the only thing keeping you here and sane. Shaking the thoughts from your head before they even got there and spinning on your heel to face the bathroom, “I’ll get dressed and meet you in the conference room, yeah?”
You closed the door before Steve could even respond and started on your morning routine.
-
You sat at the table along with Steve and Sam. You were staring off at a wall while shoveling cereal into your mouth. You had only been at the tower for about two weeks now and had a good routine with the two men in front of you. You still didn’t have a name. You have been going by kid, kiddo, chick, and rescue. You have been searching your brain for a hint of what your name would be. You tried making up names but none of them suited you the way you wanted it to. You listened to the two men bicker over different work out strategies. You stared off at the wall and thought about how you planned on changing your hair color to maybe platinum blonde. You reached out to grab your glass off the table and grunted when it wouldn’t budge. You looked up at the two men staring at you with wide eyes before following their gaze to your hand. The liquid in the glass was frozen solid and the glass stuck to the table in a block. You removed your hand and looked at your palm, which was tinted blue, “Well that’s new.”
Sam tapped on your frozen glass, “Holy shit, Elsa.” You rolled your eyes and rubbed your hands together trying to maintain heat.
Steve watched you, “Has this ever happened before?”
You shook your head and reached out to grab your glass again. Your strength became too much and the frozen glass shattered in your hand. You remained still as Sam hopped up from the table.
“Jesus fucking christ, kid.” Sam started picking up the larger pieces of glass
“Language.” Steve went into the other room to retrieve a handheld vacuum
You looked down at your hand and saw little cuts leaking blood in the palm, today just wasn’t your day. You stood up from the table and walked over to the sink, running your hand under the water. You were getting really sick of this superpower thing. You have broken so many things so far due to the super strength you can’t control. You sighed as you watched the small cuts on your hand knit themselves back together, you would never get used to that. On the brightside, it didn’t hurt. You have not felt the pain of anything you have broken or ran into, the only pain you ever felt was the headache that never went away. You dried your hand off and ran your fingers through your hair.
“Sorry guys… Still getting used to,” You held up your hands, “this.”
Steve smiled knowingly, “It’s okay, kid. I remember when I received my serum, it took a minute to adjust.”
You gave him a small smile, “Why do you guys keep calling me kid?”
Sam and Steve looked at each other. Sam was the one who spoke first, “You don’t really have a name right now.”
“Oh it’s Y/N.” You shrugged at the guys and returned to your seat at the table as they stared at you.
“Did that just come to you?” Steve asked while looking at your seated figure, “It kind of suits you.”
“I think it’s my name? It just came to me at the sink and its the only name that doesnt make me want to kill myself.” You smiled as the two men started chuckling at you.
“I think I will stick to ridiculous nicknames if you don’t mind.” Sam said, smiling at you and ruffling your hair.
-
As you walked to the conference room, your real name itched in every crevice of your mind, a name with no meaning to you other than just being another name. You passed the glass walls of the room before stepping in with the rest of your teammates, who were all looking at you expectantly. Tony was sitting at the end of the table, holographic keyboard ready to type the words about to come from your mouth. You could tell everyone was waiting on you so you walked over to your usual seat next to Steve, who immediately put a comforting hand on your knee and squeezed.
“Alright! Good morning team!” Tony said enthusiastically, “Before we start today, We need to talk about last night and everything that happened. Firstly-” Tony pulled up a holographic screen playing the night camera footage of the assault last night, “-as you can see, a member of your team has been attacked and usually they don't stop after the first try.” Your eyes were glued on the footage of you throwing the man into the wall, “So until we can get the towers security and defences back up we will be sending Little miss firecracker to a safehouse.”
You groaned and threw your head back dramatically and Tony rolled his eyes at you, “Look, I get it suck, but Capsicle and I decided it would be best if he went with you.” You pulled your head back up and gave a small smile to Steve, silently thanking him, “Alright and next on the agenda, I have been informed we may have a lead on this whole identity crisis!” Tony rubbed his hands together pulling up the missing persons data base, preparing himself.
You sat up in your chair with your eyes trained on the screen as you spoke, “Search up Y/N Y/L/N”
Tony wasted no time typing your name into the database to pull up a missing persons profile. A photo was pulled up onto the hologram screen and you silently stared at it. It was you, well at least a version of you. You looked so young, your face was effortlessly smooth with a light layer of makeup, and your mouth was pulled in an easy grin. Your hair was pulled back in a sleek low ponytail and you were wearing a white collared shirt with a blazer layered over it. You started into your eyes on the projection, it felt like looking at someone else.
“You were an accountant? That’s boring.” Sam started while eyeing the photo of you
Tony scanned the photo and then started typing something into the projection. An article pulled up next to the photo, “Y/N Y/L/N, missing for two years, stopped coming into work and her apartment was empty… blah blah blah.”
“Wait, wait, wait” You said staring at the screen, the date the report was filed was a month after you were actually taken, “Where ever the hell I worked reported me missing? Not any fucking family members or friends? Nobody noticed?” At the last statement your voice got quieter as you remembered the contents of your dream.
“Look kid, I’m sure that's not true,” Tony started to say, “But right now, kid, we need to figure out why they took you and why they want you back so much,” You sunk back down in your chair, wishing you could just disappear.
You felt Steve moving in his chair to lean towards you, “Do you want to go start packing for the safe house?” He asked quietly, his eyes shining with concern. You nodded silently and followed him out of the room towards your own. You had forgotten that the night before your room had been ransacked as you entered it. It appears one of the other members of your team had tried tidying up a bit, which you silently thanked them for as you searched for your emergency duffle. Steve had made his way next door to his room so you decided to let him pack and head back to the conference room to see if they found out any more information about your disappearance.
You walked towards the conference room and overheard Tony saying something in a hushed voice. Fortunately, you had enhanced hearing and were nosey enough to stop in your tracks and listen.
“I mean it makes sense,” said Tony quietly, “She was an orphan growing up, in and out of foster care, no friends, didn't make any connections at work, she was the easiest target for Hydra because she wouldn't be… missed.” You can hear the hesitation before he said the last word. You remained frozen in place becoming discovered when Tony walked out and rounded the corner to go grab his second tablet. He smiled when he first saw you then once his eyes scanned your face, he knew you had overheard.
“Look, kid-” You held your hand up to stop him in his sentence.
“You weren't wrong, Tony. You were just stating the facts.” His eyes looked apologetic as he gave you a small nod and decided to return back to the conference room. You sighed softly and changed your direction towards the elevators. Maybe it would be nice to have a break from the tower.
Tags: @pumpkenz @Ihiamelona-blog @buckyyyybaby
#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x female reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x reader#marvel imagine
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This has been in my head for almost 7 months now and I can't figure out what to do with it so here you go.
It has only been 5 months scents my husband died and I can't seem to not see him everywhere. The kitchen, the living room, the backyard, and most of all the bedroom. I haven't been able to sleep in there from the moment I got home from the hospital, with the kids. That night we all slept in my daughter's room well they did. I stayed up all night sushing and humming songs to drive away the nightmares. I was always having his old co-workers and partner stopping by to see if we where all right.
"How are you doing today? I made dinner for you and the kids. Try to take a nap why me and Erwin clean the house." Levi said rubbing my arm. He put his hand on my cheek rubbing his thumb under my dark circles. "When was the last time you slept?" I looked at him but not really seeing him. "It's been a minute." I said dryly trying to sound funny.
He's eyes held a heavy sadness "Please let me take care of you and the kids. That's what he would have wanted and you know that. He would have never been okay with you not eating. So please take a nap and eat some food when you get up." I was about to thank him when my son ran through the front door and up to his room slamming the door. I went to stand up but Levi stopped me. "I will go talk to him, just sit and relax.
Erwin was on his way to close the door when Armin walk in holding my daughter. Her face was buried in his neck. I could hear small whimpers coming from her. "A kid at there school was taunting them about the car accident." My hand went up to my mouth to hold on the gasp. Armin rubbed her back trying to calm her down. "I will take her to her room." I shook my head to let him it was fine.
After the kids were in their room resting before dinner Levi walked over to me with a cup of oolong tea. I took the cup from him. "Thank you. What you and the others are doing is a really big help." I took a sip. I felt my eyes start to water again. Levi looked at me with concern. "If I make it too hot..." I shook my head. "No it's perfect. I was just remembering that... he use to make it just like this for me when I was upset." My body started to shake. Levi took the cup from me before I dropped it, pulling me into a hug. "Hey hey hey! Shh I got you, it's okay." You looked up at him with bloodshot eye. "How can I do this alone. He was always there for me... for us." I start to panic. Worry was starting to set in. Levi grabbed me face making me look at him.
"Hey look at me okay breath. In and out slowly." I did was he told me. "Good now you don't have to do this alone already. You and the kids have me, Erwin, Armin, the whole precinct is here for this." I looked into his eye I could tell the he was tell the truth. I gave him a small soft yet sad smile. He pulled me into a hug. He was so warm and safe. I must have been more tired than I thought because next thing I knew I was waking up to the sound for my kids talking and the smell of mexican food cooking.
"Hey mom's awake. My daughter said running to me for a hug. "Hi baby how are you felling?" I asked her moving a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Hungry." She deadpan looked at me. "Well wait no longer dinner is survived." Erwin said as he pointed to the table. "Kids get started I will be there in a minute." I told them as I walked outside to have a cigarette. As I lit it I heard footsteps behind me. "You know those things will kill you." Levi said standing next to me. His back press up against the wall. "He would say the same thing." I let out a wobbly breath.
He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to me. "I know this is really bad timing but I have to tell you something." I looked at him putting out my smoke. "What is it." He took in a breath, trying to center himself. "A few years back, after your son was born your husband to me if there was ever something that happened to him I was to make sure to take care of you." He paused taking in another breath. "Levi you are and you are doing such a good job."
"Listen that's not what I was getting at. You see he wanted someone to be there for you...." he moved closer to me "emotionally and physically." He put his hand on my cheek moving closer to my lips. I put a hand up on his chest to stop him. "No. I'm sorry but you can't do this. You are still in your prime and I'm nothing but baggage. Thank you but you need to find someone that you can have a family with..." He grabbed my hands pulling me into a kiss. "You and the kids can be my family. I have known you for years and in that time I grow to love you and now seeing you in pain, I feel like my heart is being ripped out of me chest. So please let me help you."
I have a summary for this story but I really don't know how to start it
@romantichomicide95 @postwarlevi
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Continueing the adventure of my last posts tags and reliving my childhood fears and general existence in my family which I have subconsciously packed away and literally have not been able to remember chunks of my childhood even when trying to remember what I did as a kid 👍 anyways back to it. Snuck into the bathroom. Didn’t puke. Win for drunk and high Milo. The bathroom door however is the loudest creakiest door in existence. Getting in here she for sure knows I’m awake. Now it’s her choice to attack with the trying to talk to me or to completely ignore me or to continue waiting and watching to attack her bait (me trying to exist without her involvement for like any amount of time) also there’s been a development. It wasn’t the living room or kitchen lights on making the hallway light up it was her bedroom door open with her bedroom light on. So good news bad news. Good news. She’s not in the living room. Less of a chance of her trying to talk to me. Bad news. Shes in her room and the door is exactly fully visible from the loud ass creaky bathroom door so if she’s in the main part of her room she will see me if she looks for me. I could camp out in the bathroom until her lights turn off. (Side note. All of this. Is how I legitimately thought of my life as a child. I was a mommy issues ninja. I was sneaking from room to room when her back was turned and trying to sneak away to read my book in silence or make my dolls have gay sex.) this reminds me so vividly of my childhood. My brothers bedroom had one of those humidifiers that had fish in it (not real fish they’re plastic like 2D fish) (someone please know what I’m talking about) but he had it and it kind of made like a bubbly sound and I would hear that through my bedroom wall all night and I would hear sounds of light traffic outside cause we lived in a small town it was mostly nature sounds and crickets and frogs and occasional dog barks. And the sound of my window fan going constantly on high and I would climb in and out of bed and watch the way the moon lit up the neighbors roof and I would watch the grass blow in the wind and in the morning I would walk barefoot through the dew and pick dandelions and walk to the bus stop in the cold with my cute little jacket and backpack and it felt like home and it felt safe and I was happy and I had friends I can’t believe life isn’t that anymore. I just heard my mom close her bedroom door score!!! We outlasted her. Also ps I’ve been sitting in the bathroom on the floor with the bathroom light off and the door completely closed and locked. I have mental health issues. I’m on a stealth mission my mother isn’t aware of at all and it literally just living her life and doesn’t care whatsoever what I’m doing. Anyways. Yeah. Being a kid in Maine everything just felt right and I’ve gone back to Maine and it’s just changed. We couldn’t even go inside the house I grew up in. And even if we could it would have all been different. We sold half our shit when we moved to New Hampshire when I was nine. Mom and dad couldn’t find work. But they found a job working at the same company together in New Hampshire so we sold half our shit and moved and rented a house that we went on to buy and call home for eight years. And then we moved to Florida and dad died and I went to Maine for the service. The house was different. Even from the outside. My grandmothers house no longer felt like home either. I was too tall. My head hit the ceiling fan when I walked. My grandparents were now at least six inches shorter than me and nothing in their lives had changed since I was a kid. Except for the heavy thick layer of grief and the feeling of death looming at the door. Now I know that’s dark but my grandfather is on his way out and my grandmother is losing her marbles. And both their kids died before them so like yknow I’m cutting them some slack here. They can live the same exact routine in life for twenty years who am I to judge if they get the same brand of puppy calendar every year with the same dogs in the same themed photos for every month just the
Dates are switched who am I to judge. Or when my grandfather buys a bar of hersheys dark chocolate and stores it in the fridge so it’ll break apart instead of melt in your mouth. Or how every night they watch the local news the weather then whelk of fortune and jeopardy back to back and then my grandmother puts me to bed (idk what she does now) and my grandfather shuffles his way to the dining room they never use that they only really use for storage and a singular big table and chairs set with a laptop on it (and a weird podium looking thing with a penguin candy jar on it all year round for some reason??) to watch his random shows or long ass documentary YouTube videos for hours and get seventy old person only computer viruses that we then have to help him deal with cause that laptop if the biggest source of joy in that man’s life. And then my grandmother gets ready for bed and eats a little dessert on the stool at the foot of her bed where her personal teeny tiny tv is to watch her law and order or her ncis or her bones or her whatever show is always on at night and plays the same like two seasons as reruns back to back. God I love them and their silly little simple life and I’m so glad I have that little slice of home. I will always be welcome there even if I am too big for the house and everything in it is fragile and all the furniture literally rattled when I walk bc my grandmother has weird taste that is like 70% china and 30% glass. Anyways. I love them and I love that house but I don’t feel like a kid there. I feel so so so out of place if anything it makes me sad to come back and realize that the only thing that’s changed that whole time is me. And now dad being gone obviously. And their health getting worse. But yknow. It’s there. And I’m thankful for that. I just wish I was still close with anyone there. We have my moms friend who I knew when I was a kid and don’t get me wrong I love their house and they’re so nice and goofy and redneck as fuck but the daughter I was once close friends with as a small child now doesn’t even talk to me or like look my way at all if I’m there so it also feels completely out of place now. They even fucking replaced the playground at the middle school. Like there is no where in my original home town that I can go back to and feel like a kid and it tears me up. I cannot physically describe how badly I need to go back to my elementary school in Maine and just walk through the halls and sit in the library and the computer lab and play outside on the playground. Truly the ages of 6-8 were the best years of my life cause when I turned nine we were either getting ready to move or had moved so eight was when I could still me a kid. Fuck. And then I finally felt like I was setting roots in New Hampshire and felt like I could almost breathe again they told me we were moving to a hot humid retirement / party state with alligators and sand instead of NORMAL GRASS and pine trees (sorry I am a proud sod hater give me real grass I hate not feeling like I can walk outside barefoot it is all rocks and fire ants and fake grass and spikes cactus evilness.) and now I live here. And my mom loves it. She is so happy and I just feel like I have no where else to go. I have no family or friends in the part of New Hampshire where we lived. I have no choice but to start over here. Either I start over here fully or I have to start here long enough to get out of here and start someone else to be broke and scared except also now you’re completely alone. And not even your mom who you adore but also kind of hate and you think she hates you but you know it’s just your brain saying that bc of course she loves you but also like… does she tho? Or is she holding the vow to you the same way she did to her husband. Telling anyone who would listen “I promised god and my dad that I was married to that man til death do us part” and then right after he died she’s like welp time to get back out there and she’s all happy glad about all this freedom she has now I know she’s like that with me I know she only loves me because
She has to she only loves me because I came out of her and me and my brother are all she has of my dad but my brother looks like him but acts like my mom but I act like my father and look like her so there’s that added self hatred if she looks at me and sees herself and wants to fix fix fix what isn’t hers to change about my life. And then I act like him and then there she is living alone with her dead husband again except no it’s his bitch of a daughter who will never love you as much as he did and it will forever be in the back of your mind even when you love me I will always be his child too. And you will never forgive me for that. She would leave me if I could handle it out there in the big bad world alone. I am the runt of this litter and I haven’t quite decided if I really want to survive it or not. It being life without constant attention care and devotion. And survive meaning is it better to have caused the pain now and make her proud later when I could just stop trying and let myself turn to dust in this room locked in from the outside watching shadows under doors and listening to the frogs croak outside. Summer heat settling in across my bedroom as I sneak out of bed and read my book with my flashlight until my mother walks by and yells to go to bed again. And the pink nightlight is illuminating the corner of my room with my Barbie’s and I want to play and feel like a kid again. I wish I could trade and be that kid for a day again. I want to play and feel free again and run just to run before my body started to hurt and ache and before I ever cut myself or held the gun in my hands and had to put it back down. I wish I could tell the childhood version of me that it gets better and it gets worse. You have to remember it all cause it’s gonna get lost in there. Really try to remember it all. And enjoy it. I’m proud of you for just being you.
I think I should drink every day forever actually if it makes me suddenly remember my childhood I’ve repressed for some reason that would be nice I could therapise myself thru poetry and long rambles that I throw poetic shit into and then call poetry even tho there’s really like three lines that weren’t completely off the dome. Anyways goodnight sorry for being your most annoying mutual forever ily I might delete this tomorrow
#WHY AM I WRITING A BIOGRAPHY FOR TUMBLR HELP I AM MENTALLY ILL ENJOY THIS CROSSFADE MILO LORE I MIGHT DELETE IT TOMORROW#👍👍👍
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