#like seriously wtf was that yesterday

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

The anti reactions from yesterday have me just shaking my head. I am by no means a professed stan of Jensen. I'm a fan of his works and I've followed his career, I appreciate his interactions with the public (like cons) as well as his public persona, but I don't worship the ground the guy walks on. He's a human being who I enjoy watching on my screen from time to time in different roles or displaying said public persona. That's it. I support him, but I don't stan him blindly, if that makes sense. Not him or any other celebrity.

That being said, I found the anti/critical reactions to something Jensen allegedly said that had been tweeted out from the Dallas Con to be very interesting and highly entertaining in some cases, especially with one particular anti blog that consistently claims to love this man and want the best for him while psychoanalyzing him and hating (and blaming everything that Jensen does/says that disappoints them) on his wife with the maturity level of a fourth grader. To put it bluntly, antis showed their asses yesterday and it is pure confirmation of what I and so many on here have been saying for quite some time now in regards to these posts/blogs.

Yesterday:

Tweet from the Gold Panel: "Jensen: 'he and I don't take on projects for the impact, we're serious about what we do.'"

Me: 'huh, you know, that wording seems a bit... Eh, you know what, knowing Jensen and how this fandom works anytime he dares to breathe, I'm going to wait to see the panel myself tomorrow and get the context of the question and his answer. If anything, he just misspoke, but I highly doubt he meant it in a bad way. Knowing him, he absolutely cares about the impact it has had on so many people and he might have thought the asker meant something else. Still, I'mma wait and see for myself.'

Antis:

and one particular blog (the one that claims to love him be in love with him):

'Jensen, you're no true actor and I would know since I'm an expert on acting! How dare you! You've hurt me so deeply!'

Today:

I watched the Gold Panel. Question was did the guys think about how massive the impact SPN would be in reference to their careers aka people knowing who they are, people following them, etc. Basically, did they know what it would become, something Jensen clarifies with the fan before answering. Jensen's actual response:

"Yeah, I don't, I mean, I guess to kind of quickly break it down, I don't think he and I go into any of these, uh, jobs or roles or stories thinking about the impact it's going to have externally. I think we go into it as...you know, they hire us to come in and do a job and...and he and I both, uh, we both take that job seriously even though it may not look like it all the time. But we also have a lot of fun doing the job because we truly enjoy doing what we do. That being said, we're not thinking 'oh let's do this because I want the effect that's going to have on a greater scale'. We're just doing our job. And hopefully, it resonates to people. Hopefully, somebody out there is entertained. And if that's the case, then we've done our job."

Me trying to see what had the antis losing their minds, especially that one blog and NOT finding it anywhere:

This is why you always watch the panels for yourself and avoid anti posts/blogs at all costs. They always claim they are there to be the opposite to AA's, to apply critical thinking, to view Jensen as human instead of a god, to be the ones with "a reality check", but they jump just as quickly as that group and crucify the guy before doing due diligence. Critical thinking should also include getting your facts straight before spreading misinformation (and in this case, more hatred). This is literally the same tool kit lawyers, law enforcement, and investigative journalists use all the time. It's good old common sense.

So block, mute, filter these people. Do whatever you gotta do, but this proves once and for all what we've all been saying. These anti/critical blogs that claim to "apply critical thinking" are full of shit.

Critical thinking is defined as "the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgment." The reactions were not objective, especially the one blog that had an emotional heartbroken reaction. They were subjective, colored by their own biases. They did not analyze and evaluate the situation fully before issuing a judgement; they were missing a very crucial piece of the puzzle before they started sounding off and they knew it but they didn't care.

So the next time an anti/critical blog says in defense of their hating on/criticizing of Jensen (or anyone really) that they're applying critical thinking and you should try the same when you propose an alternative point of view (about Jensen or not), just remember it's all a smoke screen of bullshit. So again, block, mute, filter, whatever you gotta do. Personally, I think this shit's hilarious and entertaining on a Real-Housewives type level.

And that one blog that had such an emotional reaction to something that Jensen didn't even say in the way they thought he did, it's one thing for you to feel the way that you do, but spreading misinformation as you did, saying Jensen is no true performer, I don't know, maybe it's time to let go of your obsession with loving (aka being in love with) and hating this guy and move on?

#like seriously wtf was that yesterday #some ppl need a serious reality check #just sayin' #anti antis #like if you want to be critical of the guy that's cool #but do your homework first #i hope none of y'all are in our legal system #because if this guy was on trial he'd be put away for life for so many imaginary crimes #keep on keeping on jensen #you do you dude #jensen ackles #jackles #and this is not a pro-aa post #just want to make that perfectly clear #aa's and the antis can go take long walks off of short piers together #and leave us real fans to show the guy the appropriate amount of respectful appreciation for him as an actor #i said what i said #anti jensen hate

[theshadowrealmitself]

Once again thinking about my oc who makes how to do videos that Vulcan kids like to watch, except this time I’m also thinking about “guest stars,” because you just know there’s going to be some things where you need an expert on it for

And originally I was just thinking about pleasant guest stars, and how the Human oc is unknowingly also teaching Vulcan kids how to handle their emotions because the Human is trying a lot of new things that actually scare them, or make them anxious, things like that, but they just calm themselves down on camera and continue doing them

But now I’m thinking about Jim Kirk, specifically aos Jim Kirk, guest starring before he ever became a captain, and it’s “how to ride a motorcycle,” and the whole time, this Human who is usually good at keeping a calm and pleasant disposition, just keeps turning to anxiously tell the camera “don’t do that” because Jim went straight to tricks and stuff that he shouldn’t be showing beginners

Jim Kirk is rewatching this episode as a captain, trying to avoid looking at Bones and Spock as they watch him put himself in danger without proper protective gear on

#bones is about to get his ass #god it was like 12 straight hours with those kids yesterday #they were all under the age of 10 #they might have gotten me sick they kept coughing and sneezing into their hands and then grabbing me as well as touching other objects #they were all sweet kids!! they were just overstimulating and then after like. 7 hours. they had clearly overstimulated each other #so they kept getting into fights every 5 seconds #so I. I cried. #not in front of them #did not yell at them either!! #but I could not handle them anymore #had to walk away and beg another adult for help and that adult went immediately to yelling at them :( #so I had to go back to managing them #yesterday was. so stressful. but it’s not those kids fault that their parents use bbqs to just ditch them wtf #plus I had only gotten a half hour of sleep the night before so I was running on empty the entire time #but I made it through!! #(barely) #kids deserve better #seriously #anyways so I’m back to thinking about ocs who can. actually handle kids. #Star Trek #Star Trek aos #jim t kirk #jim kirk #james tiberius kirk #s’chn t’gai spock #Spock #bones #bones mccoy #leonard mccoy

[novelcain]

🎶why-🎶

🎶is my-🎶

🎶aNxIeTy so high!?🎶

#seriously wtf why 🥲 #i been low key freaking out since yesterday morning #i feel like the universe is windin up to BAP me across reality

[vexic929]

my new medications make me run like 20 degrees hotter and my caffeine sensitivity makes me vibrate so basically I'm halfway to being a speedster

#but seriously it is early spring and I am SWEATING wtf #it was 40 degrees (F) yesterday but I'm over here acting like it's freaking 80 #vexic lives

[sarah-yyy]

legal exec: woke up late yesterday so she thought she'd just take a sick day off

partner: has had the last three days off work because he's got a stuffy nose

me: this is fine :) i am fine :)

#at this stage i am 95% sure mr r is just fucking around at home like buddy if you have time to micromanage me while you're 'sick' at home #then you're not fucking sick #literally i am...............so tired of everyone in this office today #yesterday!!!! i got yelled at by some client for work that mr r didn't do for him!!!!! #like wtf!!!!! that's not even my file why are you yelling at me!!!!!! #wait for mr r to come back from his bloody sick leave AND THEN yell at HIM!!!!!! #wtf have i done!!!!!! #i'm doing all of mr r's meetings AND my own AND did all the fucking admin on my own yesterday #because our legal exec is leaving at the end of next month and seriously just gives no fucks about work anymore #which i can understand BUT STILL #jiejie is STRUGGLING!!!!!! can y'all just get your act together for a week so i can breathe 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #also i think i'm about to get my period soon and am Very Irritable #i spent like 2 hours last night thinking about how i should've yelled back at mr r's client #work stories #sarah talks about herself

[winter-hoof]

Today is Harry’s birthday! I can’t believe my boy is 10 years old already. He’s the best (and weirdest) cat I’ve ever had and he means the world to me ❤️

#detective harry whiskers #I just don’t know how the time goes by so fast #it was like just yesterday he was a 6-month old kitten I picked out from the shelter wtf #seriously the best cat I’ve ever had and I’m so happy he’s in my life 💕

[xxjustavexx]

The kids at the end of “Fit To Be Heroes”: THATS THE WRONG FUCKIN ENCRYPTOR CHIP, WE FAILED

Me and my brother, who were watching it on the PBS kids channel yesterday:

#this happened yesterday but yeah #motherboard just starts glitching out and we were like #WHAT NO #WTF NO #AAAAAAAAAAAAA #it’s seriously disappointing tho #like ALL THAT FUCKIN HARD WORK FOR NOTHING #cyberchase #fit to be heroes #random shit

[spoonietimelordy]

Me since like 5years: I know that I dissociate a lot and I have a lot of trauma and I feel stuff that aren't my own feelings and do stuff that I can't control and it doesn't feel like it's me doing them but it can't be osdd naah, it can't be, right?

#charlie is rambling #i am rethinking about yesterday and I feel really weird about it #like i wasn't the one controlling what i was doing #i call this things emotional flashback but flashback don't do things on their own #wtf is happening to me #i don't fucking know anymore #the thing is i never took the system hypothesis seriously since i never hear voices on my heads #well i thought it was just internal monologues going fast and answering myself #but i dont know anymore #fuck #did any of you if you follow me since a while have noticed stuffs? #or am i just loosing my mind right now

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Day 155! Because I've decided to keep counting even the one day I didn't art, because it's still a day of the year and I refuse to punish myself for having/surviving Covid.

I've also decided that aside from a finalized name, I don't want to change anything on *dj hand slide* Mike. I'm satisfied with where the design is right now, so it's going to stay the way it is until such time as I decide to make another change. Sure, there are some tweaks I can do, some things I can finalize, but honestly? I don't want to do them. Maybe I'll change my mind when I'm 100% recovered from Covid, but for right now I'm happy with it.

So tonight I drew the outfit I was wearing in Assassin's Creed: New Hampshire Animal Crossing: New Horizons yesterday because I thought it was cute and I wanted to n_n

#the great artscapade of 2022 #bobbi's being weird again #art #my art #animal crossing fashion #animal crossing fanart #animal crossing: new horizons #acnh #seriously every time I see that acronym I read it as Assassin's Creed: New Hampshire and it hasn't stopped since the first time I read it XD #so now that the worst of my bout of Covid is over I wonder what my Long Covid effects are going to be? #is this brain fog ever going to lift? #I don't think I've lost any lung capacity since it didn't even touch my lungs #this disease is so weird you guys #my roommate is asthmatic and has been so scared of this virus for YEARS but his symtpoms practically don't exist! #he had a fever and slept through the day yesterday but today he's fine #for me I started with a cough then had a fever then my entire head filled with so much snot it felt like a zit about to pop #and boy did I want to pop it because that sinus pressure was TORTURE #so yeah wtf is with this virus man it makes like zero sense

[archived-daydreams]

thanks for going wild in the tags darling, but since it’s not showing up in the tags, i’ll private and eventually delete it again and try again once i’m home, sorry ㅠㅠ

pls not tumblr again fucking up tags omg 😭 i’m sorry this is happening to you 😔 trust me, i know how it feels, i’ve been there too :sobs: sometimes what worked was leaving less text below the cut… but i’m not sure that’s the issue here </3

and pls don’t apologize ! 🥺 seriously this site should fix the tags algorithm bc it fucking sucks ass, how are works gonna be seen if the app throws away our work? sigh, i hope it works for you next time, hun 🥺🫶🏻

#light.replied #travelers: the travelling witch #seriously tumblr fix tagging system !!!! #this is supposed to be a site where works are shared and have to reach out ppl #how tf are we gonna do that if the site itself does nothing but trash hours of work? #i really hope next time it shows in tags 🥺 #bc wtf #like i saw how many times you posted it yesterday #and i know how exhausting and frustrating that is </3

[solaireverie]

cl16 | salute to me, i'm your american queen

pairing: charles leclerc x f!sargeant!reader

summary: [ social media au ] what the fuck is a kilometer?!?! or: charles and his girlfriend's adventures

warnings: language

faceclaim: elle fanning + pinterest

author's note: i can't explain this except that it was funny in my head. i should probably be working on the next part of deep blue but ehhhhhh. enjoy!

liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant, vogue and 763,913 others

yourusername Overjoyed with becoming an official @.tiffanyandco ambassador 🩵 Shop the Formula 1 Commemorative Grand Prix collection on their website, now available worldwide.

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charles_leclerc so this is why you couldn't come to monza? 😨

↪ yourusername sorry babe it was scheduled in advance 🥲

user damn tiffany's marketing department really popped off with choosing THE y/n sargeant to rep this line 💅

↪ user like if you think about it it's really smart, y/n isn't just one of the most popular models rn, she's also directly connected to the sport bc of logan and charles

↪ user she is literally all i want to be in the best way 😤

logansargeant where's my charger y/n? i know you have it

↪ yourusername this could've been a text message logie boy

↪ logansargeant wtf don't call me that

↪ logansargeant also you haven't unblocked me yet from that time i stole your life-size cardboard cutout of charles and brought it to williams hospitality

↪ yourusername you're not helping your case here 😒

↪ carlossainz55 silvia was looking for that y/n 😱

charles_leclerc has added to their story

seen by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, pierregasly and 7,159,233 others

694,332 likes

f1wagupdate @.yourusername is in the paddock today for the US GP after being spotted yesterday in a hotel near the track! She has been seen in the Ferrari garage.

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user uhhh why isn't she in the williams garage???

↪ user uhhh probably cause she's dating a ferrari driver???

↪ user chill 😭 i'm sure she'll drop by

↪ user just say you're a hater and move on bro

charles_leclerc has added to their story

seen by yourusername, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 2,392,106 others

yourusername has added to their story

seen by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,985,274 others

logansargeant replied to your story

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 4,128,293 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc Happy birthday my love 🥳❤️ I'm glad you had fun at your party 😉

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yourusername DELETE THE THIRD PICTURE

yourusername HOW COULD YOU

yourusername WHAT IS THIS BETRAYAL

yourusername count your days, charles leclerc

↪ logansargeant she just left the restaurant, i think you need to take her threats seriously dude

user charles is just like all the other sassy boyfriends out there 😂

user damn the road's looking real comfy tonight (i want what they have)

↪ yourusername oh dear don't do anything rash please 😭

↪ user this is why i love y/n lmao even when she's pissed at her bf she finds time to be the nicest human being ever

liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant, yourbestfriend and 6,129,320 others

yourusername just a bit older 🤟

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gigihadid happy birthday darling 🥰

↪ yourusername thank you gigi!

logansargeant happy bday sis :)

↪ yourusername AWWWW LOGAN 🥹

user is charles still alive??? 😭😭😭

↪ yourusername who knows? 🤷‍♀️

↪ charles_leclerc i already said i'm sorry!!!

↪ yourusername do y'all hear something?

↪ charles_leclerc we're literally on instagram y/n... 😐

carlossainz55 y/n, charles says that he'll do anything if you'll talk to him again...

↪ yourusername he knows what i want 😪

liked by yourusername, logansargeant, lilymhe, deuxmoi and 9,120,163 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc Thank you for making my life so much better just by existing in it. I love you more than words can express. At the end of the day, you're who I want by my side. I'm so glad that I'll get to call you my wife for the rest of my life 🤍

💍 11.11.23

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername je t'aime 🤍

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist | taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora

#solwriting #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula 1 #f1 #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x you #f1 social media au #f1 imagine #f1 smau #charles leclerc #logan sargeant #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc smau

[endlessthxxghts]

Joel Nye, The Science Guy

no outbreak!Joel Miller x afab!reader || W/C: ≈4.6k

"Is he really choosing coffee right now over having you? I mean, not to toot your own fucking horn, but seriously. Who would delay an orgasm for some coffee? Apparently, Joel fucking Miller would."

Summary: Joel stumbles across an article online about the effects of coffee on the body. Determined to uncover the truth, he tests the hypothesis with you as his subject.

Contents/Warnings: Any physical description of reader is neutral (no size descriptions). Joel is bigger than you though (but he’s fucking huge in general, so…). No age mentioned for reader or for Joel. Implied established relationship. No matter what age, Joel is a grandpa when it comes to technology. Mentions of Amazon LMAO. SMUT 18+ MDNI (mutual masturbation on the phone, touching yourself in the workplace, dirty talk, sexting [kinda], ..kitchen activities…reflections…, finger fucking, lots of liquids, squirting, cumming untouched, drinking coffee with an ulterior motive!, allusion to further sexual endeavors). Please let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Happy New Year, my loves! I just got done rewatching TLOU for the millionth time while drinking some coffee, and for some reason, this was born. I have no idea wtf this is, so don't ask me.💚 Also let’s thank @javierpena-inatacvest for titling this silly thing for me hehe. Fucking iconic. I love you, bestie.🥹 Here's to my first fic of 2024, and to many more! I hope you enjoy.💚

MASTERLIST

Joel’s number one favorite sensation every morning was when the first drop of the bitter, black liquid met his tongue, consuming all his senses into nothing but pure coffee. It was one of his favorite things—past tense—because then he got to experience what it was like waking up to you every morning, what it was like tasting you every morning. The first drop of you blessed his tongue one year ago, and he never looked back.

That is, until now. 

You had work today and Joel had the day off, a rare occurrence. You forgot to set your alarm this morning, so you broke from his hold in a rush, leaving him nothing but a sweet kiss to last him the day. 

Usually your mornings together are spent tangled in his sheets until he leaves you with less than twenty minutes to get ready for your day. Too addicted to the way he makes you feel, you mastered the art of quick change, using the rest of your time to do your morning skincare routine. This, you’ll never skip—subjecting yourself to a few scoldings by your boss because of it.

Joel allowed himself a few more hours of sleep after you left, his body needing extra rest from his unusually crazy day at the job site yesterday and from the way you pounced on him as soon as he came home. You promised him it would be you doing all the work, but like the addicting little thing you are, he couldn’t help but take charge so he could watch you fall apart over and over and over again. 

Joel pulled himself out of his bed, a chill running down his body from leaving the trapped body heat of the sheets. He was hard, of course, and usually you’re there to help with his morning problem, but apparently today’s full of rare events for Joel. He grumbles to himself as he makes the way to the bathroom, not wanting to take care of himself without you, not anymore. He could wait for you to be home, but he knows he’d be a leaking, grumpy mess all day—God forbid he has to interact with another human in that aroused, frustrated state. He checks the little clock you bought for his bathroom counter when you moved in—so I can watch the time when I get ready for work, you scolded him when he made you late for the first time. 

11:48 the clock displays; twelve more minutes until your break. He can wait twelve minutes. You usually close your office during your lunch, don’t you? Maybe he can call you. He might as well do his own morning routine while he waits. Joel’s old morning routines consisted of brushing his teeth, then washing his face with soap and water. Though, upon witnessing his wretched routine the first morning you two spent together, you were utterly appalled at his actions, forcing him to the store and spending the first half of your morning educating him on proper skincare. His morning routine went from four minutes to fifteen with your influence, but because he didn’t want to be a minute late in calling you, he shaved three minutes off from his task. 

As soon as the clock hit twelve, Joel plopped himself in bed, leaning against the headboard, and reached for his phone, immediately dialing you. 

Two rings later, and your sweet voice fills his ears. “Hi, baby,” you say. He can hear the small smile on your face. 

“Hi, darlin’,” Joel rasps, his voice still groggy from the lack of use. 

“You just wake up?” You jokingly scold, knowing damn well what the answer was. You like when he sleeps in. He deserves the rest from all that hard work he does. 

“Maybe,” he tells you. You can hear the smirk on his face now. “How’s work goin’? On your break now?”

“Work is… definitely going,” you huff. “And yeah, I’m on my break now, which means I’ve got an hour to counterproductively stress about these reports that have to go out.”

“I’m sorry, honey,” he tells you softly. But then he’s smirking again. “Can I help?”

“Help?” you repeat.

“Yeah,” he states like it’s the most regular answer ever. “Lemme help de-stress ya,” he adds, his voice dropping an octave. 

A heat consumes your face, but you remain calm. “Yeah?” You breathe. “And how would you help me, cowboy?” You ask him as you swiftly stand from your desk to lock your office door and close your blinds. 

“I reckon you just locked that door of yours, huh?” He asks rhetorically, knowing you better than you know yourself. Not even your past lovers would be able to pick up on the slightest of changes in your voice when you’re aroused. Joel picks up on it instantly. 

“Maybe,” you repeat his sentiment from earlier. 

“If I’m remembering correctly,” Joel says as he rubs his hand over his tenting bulge in an attempt to ease his ache. “You’ve got a couch in there, baby?”

“Yeah,” you whisper.

“Well, you know what to do next, babygirl.” 

Glancing at your door to make sure it’s really locked, you make your way to your couch, unbuttoning your jeans in the process and shucking them down as your ass meets the cushion. Fuck, you’re already soaked. 

“Where are you?” You ask him, your fingers ghosting your core over the wet patch on your panties.

As soon as the words leave your mouth, your phone buzzes. Joel sent you a text. An image. Clicking it, a breathy little whimper escapes you. “Fuck.” He’s leaning against the headboard, legs pushed open, his thick thighs on display. He’s just wearing his boxers, and his hand is inside, gripping onto his length. His leaking, angry tip is showing from the top of his boxers. A little circle catches your eye, and- oh. It’s a live photo. You hold down on the image, and you see his hips jerk into his hand. “Fuck,” you say again, your pussy twitching in excitement yet frustration that you can’t have him inside you right now. “I need you so fucking bad, Joel,” you whine into the phone as your fingers finally dip inside. 

“I need you, too, baby,” he groans, “I’m fuckin’ dyin’ over here.” He sounds so pained. It riles you up even more. Your fingers speed up at his words, breathy moans escaping you. You circle your clit a few more times before reaching lower and dipping your middle and index finger inside of you. Joel hears the faintest sound of a squelch, and the grip on his cock tightens. He pulls his boxers completely down over his thighs, his cock completely free, and he tugs at a slow, teasing pace in an effort to build himself up the way you normally do for him. “Let me hear you, baby, let me hear you touch yourself for me.”

Lord, you hope your room is sound proofed enough because without any hesitation, you’re putting him on speaker and setting your phone down near your cunt, pumping in and out of yourself faster and deeper for him to hear. “J-Joel, f-fuck,” you stutter, “I- I’m-”

“You’re close, baby, I know,” he says soothingly. You can hear the slick sound of his hand speed up. Your other hand falls to your clit as your fingers continue inside. “Let go for me, mi amor, soak those fingers as if it were my cock fuckin’ you,” he rambles. “Just like I know you can, baby, atta fuckin’ girl.”

With the help of his filthy mouth, your body seizes up and you’re seeing stars, your eyes falling to the back of your head as you remove your hand from your clit to slap it over your mouth in an attempt to stop the high-pitched, purely pornographic moan of his name from escaping the walls of your not-so private office. You can hear the moment Joel cums, too, a painful groan roars from his throat as you hear the movements slow but get slippier with each pass over. 

You’re on the phone for a few moments more, listening to each other’s breaths, slowly fixing your clothing as you let your heart rate return to normal. 

“Joel,” you finally have enough strength to say. 

“Yeah, darlin’?”

He hears a faint knock on your door. You pull the phone away to lessen your volume on his end. Just a moment, he hears you call out. “Gonna need more of you when I get home.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Joel replies more than happily.

After your phone call, Joel cleans and dresses himself up and heads to the kitchen. 

Joel can’t help the way your words bounce around his head. Gonna need more of you when I get home.

“And I’m definitely gonna need a fuck ton of you today,” he mutters to the bag of Colombian coffee grounds he pulls out of his kitchen cabinet. He refills the machine with water, inserts a filter, pours two heaping spoonfuls of the ground beans into the compartment, places a mug, and hits start. He goes to put the coffee away, but it’s then he feels how lightweight the bag is starting to feel. 

Genuinely, he begins to panic. He needs to order more, and he needs to do it now. He cannot go a day without his precious coffee. The brand he orders is online only, and usually he would wait for you to help him place the order, but he doesn’t want to risk hitting the cutoff for same day delivery. 

Joel isn’t that old, and he certainly grows with the time period, but when it comes to technology, he’s worse than your 97-year-old grandmother who attempts to group FaceTime both of you every night. Sure, he knows how to send you pictures, but that’s the extent of his ability. Truly. With his coffee in mind, though, he puts on his bravest face and opens Safari. He searches for the website you’re always on. A, he types. M. A. Z. 

There! Amazon. He clicks the website, not knowing the app is already installed on his phone. He sees the smiling logo, and, proud of himself, he smiles back at it. 

The smile is quick to fade, however, because the intricacies of working the website is giving him heart palpitations. He sets his phone down and reaches for his reading glasses in his pocket and slides them on. He picks up his phone again. 

The thing about using Amazon on a phone through a search engine, though, is that the website is constantly glitching. So when he types in the word coffee, he has zero idea how he ended up on a completely different website, his original search lost in the complicated webs of the internet. 

It takes him a moment to realize what he’s reading, but once it registers, it’s way more interesting than his original task. 

Women reporting intensified orgasms after drinking coffee, the headline read. His eyes begin to scan lower. Researchers concluded there was a “correlation between caffeine and sex” after testing its effects on rats.

Oh, yeah, he’s intrigued. 

After reading the article, Joel restarts his original task and ends up ordering a larger amount of coffee than he normally would. In the name of science, he rationalized with himself.

Satisfied with his accomplishments, he grabs his mug and takes the time to enjoy his cup of pure caffeine. He needs the energy after all.

You get off promptly at 4pm, not wanting to spend any more time in your office—especially with the way you’ve been buzzing with need ever since your noon phone call. As soon as you park, you see an Amazon delivery person dropping off a box. They don’t ring the doorbell, and you know Joel doesn’t pay attention to the delivery notifications.

You get out of your car, leaving your things to get later. You reach the front porch and unlock and open the door first, bending down and picking up the box second. 

Joel greets you at the door, immediately cursing himself for not paying attention to the door, resulting in you doing the heavy lifting. He knows you’re more than capable—Hell, you could probably handle his job better than he can—but his Southern upbringing is too deeply rooted into him to allow anything less. 

“Hi, my love, I’m sorry, I coulda brought that in, baby,” he tells you as he takes the box from your grasp, giving you a forehead kiss as a trade off. The warmth of his lips physically relaxes you. 

You two walk towards the kitchen, Joel sets the box down on the counter. “I just parked as they dropped it off, honey, it was no biggie,” you reply softly. 

“I know, baby, but you know I-” he starts. You don’t let him finish as you grab him by his biceps and pull him into you, your arms finding their home wrapped around his neck as his grip completely wrapping your waist. Your lips slot together in a slow, needy embrace—your tongues slowly breaching each other’s mouths. You swallow the groans escaping his throat as you pull away from him. 

“I know,” you say breathily, eyes as dark as his morning coffee. “Won’t do it again, promise,” you smile, knowing this is the only false promise you’ll ever make. At the rate of how hard you work him in other things, carrying a few heavy boxes is the least you could do every now and then. “Now, please undress me, baby,” you whimper, your hand skating down the front of his body, your deft fingers sliding into his waistband. 

With one arm around your waist, another claws at your top, untucking it from your jeans to lift it over your head as he kisses and nips all over your jaw and neck. He turns your body so that your ass meets the counter, pushing his hips into yours, silently telling you to jump up. 

Too eager, you don’t realize the trajectory of your jump, and your ass smacks the package, causing it to almost slip off the edge. The impact to your rear surprises you enough to pull away from Joel and look back. Apparently, your brain is already turned to mush because you completely forgot about that box’s existence. 

However, now that you’re looking at it, you’re confused. You haven’t ordered anything recently. Did Joel order something? But he doesn’t even know how- 

“You okay, darlin’?” Joel asks, pausing all his movements. 

“Did you order something?” You ask.

His cheeks go red. “Yeah.. we were runnin’ out of my coffee ‘n I didn’t want to not have any for tomorrow or for later ‘n I wasn’t sure what time you’d be home to help me-” 

The bubbly sounds of your giggles are what cut him off. “What?” He asks, slightly defensive and slightly giddy at the sweetness blessing his ears. 

“You ordered something!” You exclaim. “You ordered something! And you were successful with it!” You’re gasping for air, speaking your excitement into his chest as you wrap yourself around him. 

“Don’t make fun a’me,” he pouts, grabbing your chin with his thumb and forefinger, giving your face a little scolding shake. 

“Oh, baby, no,” you coo, your laughter calming down because of the pain in your cheeks from smiling so wide. “I’m not making fun. I’m so proud!” your voice raises back up, as if you were talking to a baby who hit their first big milestone. 

He rolls his eyes. “Baby, don’t be like that,” you say as you lean in to give him a soft kiss. He gives in, of course, and he deepens it. “I really am proud,” you say as you attempt to pull away. 

He doesn’t let you. “Yeah, yeah,” he says sardonically in between kisses. 

Your hand drags up and grabs at his jaw, pulling him away so you can speak. “Now you don’t have to ask me to order things for you anymore,” you say with a smirk.

“Mmm, I don’t think so,” he breathes, trying to push against your hold on him. “Worst experience ever, I even-” 

He cuts himself off because he was so caught up in you when you got home, he forgot about the little detour his internet experience took him on today. 

Women reporting intensified orgasms after drinking coffee. 

“Actually,” he redirects. “Can we have some now?”

Your eyes pop out of your head in astonishment. “Right now?” you ask in disbelief. 

He gulps. “Y-yeah, right now. That okay?”

You don’t see why not besides the fact that his erection has been perched right against the soaked fabric of your panties for the last fifteen minutes and you’ll probably go mad if you don’t actually get relief in the next five minutes—but yeah, sure. Why not?

“I guess?” You say. Or ask? You really don’t know anymore. 

Is he really choosing coffee right now over having you? I mean, not to toot your own fucking horn, but seriously. Who would delay an orgasm for some coffee? Apparently, Joel fucking Miller would.

You’re not really a coffee person. Sure, you have a cup here and there—mostly iced and from your favorite local shop on your way to work—but compared to Joel, you are nowhere near the level he is. 

“How do you want it?” He asks, his back turned to you as he prepares two mugs. 

“Rough,” you mutter, slightly annoyed. You can feel the slick in your underwear start to get cold—and dry. 

Joel briefly turns around catching your eye; he points to his ear. “Say that again, sweetheart?” 

Fuck. Okay, maybe you’re being a little too bitchy. You rise from your seat at the counter, perching yourself right beside him, reaching your hand into his curls to give him a little head scratch. “I’ll do it, baby,” you say. “Thank you.” With your hand still at the back of his head, you guide him to look at you as you stand on your tippy toes to give him a soft kiss.

The coffee, honestly, wasn’t that bad. Yeah, you put your usual creamer and sugar, but you put slightly less—curious to get a glimpse of the natural flavor Joel loves so much. You could get used to it like this, you think. One thing is for sure, though: the brand Joel buys is fucking strong. You’re on your last sip, and you are struggling—you can feel your heart pumping out of your chest, and you swear you feel like your entire body is pulsing. Like you can hear your blood coursing through your veins. You don’t tell Joel because you don’t want to sound weird, so you shrug the feeling away and take your last sip. Perfectly in sync with you, Joel finishes off his coffee and reaches for your mug to also bring to the sink. 

Quickly letting the faucet run into the mugs so the coffee doesn’t stain, Joel speaks up. “How was it, darlin’? I know you don’t really enjoy coffee the way I do,” he notes. 

“Actually, baby, I really enjoyed it,” you say with a genuine smile. 

“Yeah?” He asks, a boyish grin sneaking past his lips.

“Yeah,” you reassure. “It was really strong, though,” you add. 

“Strong?” he asks, eyebrow quirked. 

“Yeah, um-” you start, unsure of how to describe it. “I don’t know, I just- I’ve never had coffee make my entire body feel like- like it’s buzzing or something. I don’t know,” you ramble. 

“Huh,” he says to no one in particular. “I mean, it is one of the stronger roasts,” he tells you. Is this because you were already severely worked up beforehand? It can’t be the placebo effect—he didn’t even tell you about his discoveries. 

Guess there’s only one way to go from here. 

Not giving you a chance to respond, his hands find your waist, pulling your back flush to his chest. He kisses your jaw, trailing his lips down the juncture of your neck and shoulder. Your head falls back onto him, your eyes fluttering shut as you give him full access. His fingers skate across the front of your jeans, your shirt already untucked from his earlier attempt. Your hips buck into his hands in response, a whiny little please leaves your mouth. 

“Shh, I got ya, sweet girl,” he rasps in your ear, his drawl licking a heat up your spine. He adjusts himself so he’s the one leaning against the kitchen counter, your body entirely relying on his support to keep you standing. 

He’s unbuttoning your jeans and right away you’re reaching for the zipper, helping him pull your bottoms down in one go. 

You’re shaking in his grasp, too pent up with a need your body doesn’t know what to do with. “Relax, baby, I’ma take care a’ya,” he says with a nip to your shoulder, his middle and ring finger already finding their place running through your soaked folds. 

Your eyes shut at the sensation, your breathing erratic and vocal. He drags your slick up to your throbbing bundle of nerves, circling with a precision only he knows how to provide. “F-fuck,” you moan. His other hand slides down to your sex, his two fingers going straight for your entrance and sliding in with ease with how much is pouring from you. “Fuckfuckfuck-”

“Gonna cum on my fingers, babygirl?” He’s pumping in and out of you at a languid pace even with the squirm of your hips. The stimulation on your clit never falters. “I can feel that pretty pussy flutter ‘round me, darlin’, I know she’s close.”

“J-Joel, please,” you let out, your head bobbing back and forth, unable to keep its heavy weight up.

Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s using his foot to kick your legs further apart, settling yours on the outside of his, and then both of you are dropping to the ground. His back is to the wall of the kitchen island while you land perfectly spread open atop his lap. Not worried about his or your balance anymore, he fucks into you harder, applying more pressure on your clit—the kind that makes you want to force your legs shut but you can’t, not with the way his own legs are keeping you open. “Open your eyes, sweet girl, need ya to look at yourself when you fuckin’ soak me.”

You open your eyes immediately and cast your eyes downward to his hands on you. “Nuh uh,” Joel tuts. His hand working your clit comes up to your jaw, your slick dampening your jaw as he guides you to look straight forward. Your reflection stares back at you from the dark oven window. Even in the dull image its showing you, you can see the way your pussy is glistening in the fluorescent kitchen light, the sweat dripping down your temples, your fucked-out face with Joel’s dark gaze ravaging every part of you. 

Everything—all of your senses—is completely Joel, Joel, Joel, and before you know it, you’re gushing into his hand; his newfound liquid gold ever since he met you, collecting into the depths of his palm, all while you’re roaring and thrashing out in pure bliss on top of him. 

The sight, sound, the feel, everything—just like you—consumes him whole. His lust takes over now, and his hands aren’t stopping. They continue their pace—their assault—on your sensitive core. He peers down over your shoulder, and his cock grows impossibly harder at the messy, slippery sight before him. “Christ,” he mutters under his breath. “Gimme one more, c’mon,” he breathes in, your scent beginning to linger into his nose, crawling into his skin and finding its home there. “I know you can gimme one more, baby, always such a good fuckin’ girl f’me.”

Your head is nodding furiously as you fight with your eyes to stay open and locked on your reflection. Your babbling, spit thick and coating every inch of your mouth as you try and respond. Mhm and one and more and fuck break free from your mouth, giving all the green light Joel needs to know he isn’t going too far. 

You turn your head to face Joel, your hand flying to the back of his curls and pulling him for a kiss that’s all teeth and tongue—an intermingling of each other’s spit as you swallow the other’s coffee-tinged breaths. 

He feels the flutter in your cunt once more, but this time it’s stronger, tighter. The way you’re clamping down on him sends him into a frenzy, his hips rutting his erection into your lower back at the feel of your warmth wrapped around him. “C’mon, baby, let go, I feel you,” he encourages. 

“Fuck-!” A high-pitched gasp turned whine comes out of your mouth as your entire body goes rigid, your pussy uncontrollably fluttering and spasming as Joel fucks you through your high. All you see is white, your body is engulfed by a tingly feeling that only describing it as TV static could do it justice. Your breathing is deep and shallow all at one, but more notably, you feel wet. Completely and utterly soaked, you can feel liquid pooling at your asscheeks and on the hardwood floor. 

You finally gather the strength to look down—Joel too, and he steals the words right from your mouth. “Holy. Fuck.”

You two stay there for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts on what the fuck just happened, and finally, you speak first. 

“I just-” you start. 

“You did,” he finishes, equally as shocked. Amazed. 

“How are we gonna-”

He rubs your thighs. “Can you stand?” 

You think for a moment. “Yeah, I think so.”

“I’ll get up first. Then I’ll pull you up. Just don’t move, I don’t need ya slippin’ on-”

“Yeah, okay,” you stop him, feeling slightly embarrassed about it all. 

He stands up, avoiding the little puddle below; then he pulls you up, kneeling to pull your underwear on for some sense of emotional comfort. “Hey.” He nudges your face with his hand to look into his eyes. “That was fuckin’ incredible. Ya hear me?” Heat washes over your entire face. You say nothing. “It was so fuckin’ hot and sexy and so so beautiful, I’m fuckin’ lucky to have witnessed somethin’ so heavenly, darlin’.” He pulls you in for a kiss. “Ya hear me?” he repeats his question, softer this time. 

The embarrassment washes away in an instant. “Well,” you look into his eyes, a flash of trouble dancing across your orbs. “Felt fuckin’ incredible, too.”

“Yeah,” Joel says, grabbing and guiding your hand down to his cock. “It did feel mighty incredible,” smugness written all over his face. 

He dips your hand inside his pants, and you're met with his half-hard, sticky length. “Joel, did you-”

“That I did, baby, that I did.” 

A moment passes, and you burst out into laughter for the second time tonight. Only this time, Joel joins in, completely taking advantage of how sweet the comedown always is with you.

“I think I oughta drink more of that coffee,” you say out of the blue, taking Joel completely off guard as he finishes wiping up your… spill. 

“Why?” he asks, trying to maintain a normal tone.

“I swear, Joel,” you whisper as if there’s other people listening in. “I swear that coffee is the reason I finished so… intensely,” you finish, your eyebrows raised in intrigue and curiosity. 

“You really think so?” Joel asks, a victory smile threatening to escape him. 

“Yeah,” you tell him. “I think we should test it out. You’re off tomorrow, yeah?”

“Well, I am now.”

End note: The article Joel stumbled upon is a real article LOL. Here it is, in case any of you were interested. The article is from 2023, so by all means, picture 56 year old Joel. I’m imagining him a bit younger in this lil AU, but there’s no explicit age description, so imagine whatever the hell you want😘. And in case you were wondering: yes, he ends up telling you about his intentions behind wanting to drink coffee first. Let's just say... you both end up getting hyperfixated on trying to "prove" this theory even though you both damn well know what the result is. ;) All my love, I hope you guys enjoyed.💚

Be sure to follow @endlessthxxghtsnotifs to stay up to date with my stories!!

Utilizing my taglist a few more times just to have a slow transition to my updates blog! @katiexpunk @janaispunk @farmerlarrry @mellymbee @jobee403 @soavenuepenguin @rainbowcosmicchaos @untamedheart81 @lilynotdilly @babygal-babygal @pedritoferg @pedrostories @akah565 @getitoutofmymind @axshadows @survivingandenduring @joels-shitty-puns @its-nebuleuse @axshadows @yorksgirl

#endless thoughts fics #pedro pascal #pedrohub #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #smut #fic #smut fic #one shot #pedrostories #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel x reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller x female reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou smut

[andthebubbles]

okay i know no one gives a flying fuck here but what the fuck is this tank doing in my garage skjnfkjgnfkgnkfjng

like you can only get this if you buy it with actual rl money, and i did NOT buy this piece of shit, wtf wtf wtf skjnfkjgnk

#however i suppose i'm not complaining although i'll still never play it #until i get the 121B lol and decide i want a crew trainer #but like seriously!!! how did this turn up in my garage #and no it's not a rental #prem tanks are always good i guess #but lmao when i saw it i was like... HUUUUGE wtf #me.txt #wot #anyway lmao i think i've almost had enough for tonight... only played 3 games but yesterday i played 18 #finally got a decent damage skorpion game... 3900 dmg 1 kill #that tank really sucks when you have no crew skills #spotted all the goddamn time #but now it's getting better and much nicer to play

[weyesbloodgf]

had such a trying day today…

#okay so I go to college in a state half way across the country from my home #so obviously I fly to school #and so over the summer I need to put my bulky stuff (pillows bedding etc) in a storage locker bc obvi I am not taking them on the plane #every time. but obviously I also don’t have a car here. so how am I to get my stuff to storage? #okay well they have Zipcars here (cars you can rent for like an hour at a time) so I reserved one weeks ago #and yesterday ; giving me only two days of notice before my reservation #they say oops all of our cars are in maintenance and we’re not going to tell you when they’re going to be ready so who knows if you’ll have #a car when you need it ! #so I am like vibrating from stress and worry like wtf am I going to do I can’t just like throw all my stuff away #and none of my friends have cars on campus either #but I ask some classmates and finally one says yes 😭 so I will be able to store my stuff. this was sooo stressful though like such an ordeal #and companies shouldn’t be able to pull out on you at the last minute this way like seriously if my classmate wasn’t a good samaritan I’d be #totally screwed. I feel like airlines are the same way. oh oops your flight is delayed 7 hours and your marooned in the airport so sorry #there’s actually nothing we can do. like :/ #and I still have one final exam to finish tomorrow but I haven’t really been studying bc I’ve been so stressed about this and also so busy #packing #okay venting over thank you and goodnight

[qraceiuv]

"slut!" jude bellingham.

summary — you finally release an unexpected song about your relationship after receiving countless hate for it.

notes — send reqs and shit 😙

warnings — hate comments thats it rlly

_________________________________________

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: 🍒👡

—

username: she never posts jude anymore

username: i rlly dont like her

— username: okay...

username: shes using jude idc

username: bet jude got those heels for her

— username: u act like she isnt a model/singer whos just as successful as him

username: she doesnt deserve him

— username: and you do?

username: ur all insane and sad. leave her alone

username: shes too pretty to be acting the way she does

— username: she doesnt do anything...

username: slut

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: coming soon...

—

username: OH??

username: yayy

username: nobody cares

username: i cant take her seriously

username: still no jude posts

username: she didnt even go to his match yesterday

username: she always uses guys wtf

username: why does evergone hate her?

— username: because shes dating jude and people are stupid

y/nsusername

y/nsusername: my new single "slut!" drops tonight, and i can't wait for you all to hear it. i love this song and myself, and to be able to share it is a pleasure. 🤍🩵

—

username: omg.

username: her naming it slut... not even gonna listen

username: WHAT.

username: im freaking out

username: this is abt to be a power move.

username: oh!

judebellingham

judebellingham: My lovely y/n - I'm endlessly proud of her and everything she has accomplished as of recently. Her strength is beyond me and I will forever admire it.

Lots of things have been said about her these past few months, and I realize I should've made a statement. Her kindness told me not to, but now is the right time to share my love for such an amazing woman. Y/n has dealt with so much hate in the world, and I hate to see it. You never know the person behind the screen, and I have always encouraged kindness. Please apply it to those I love.

I have never felt so happy with anyone than I do with you, Y/n. I love you, and I love all of you who have stuck by us and supported my favorite girl.

—

username: i will cry.

username: i hope u all shut up now

username: BRO HE LOVES HER SM😭

username: the hating bitches are silent now

username: js a ton of 12 year olds jealous

username: i love them sm

username: "slut!" was so cunty idc

username: stream slut!!!!!

y/nsusername: ❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋

y/nsusername: i love you so much.

— judebellingham: I love you so much more

judebellingham added to their instagram story!

_________________________________________

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham fluff #fanfic #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham oneshot #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x you #jude x reader #judebellingham #jude bellingham smau #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham social media au #jude bellingham x fem!reader #soccer imagine #football imagine #fanfiction #jude bellingam x fem reader #qraceiuv

[pancakes4two]

surprise surprise… here’s a part 2 for private!y/n 🫶🫶🫶🫶 thank you for all the love on the first blurb and for leaving so many sweet comments!

PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART | MASTERLIST | SEND ME A REQUEST

harryleaked

8,828 likes

harryleaked leaked photos from harry’s rumored girlfriend’s instagram.

posted yesterday with the caption: “mother, father & son”

View all 1,355 comments

harryfan1 you shouldn’t be spreading this around. delete it please before more people see

harryfan wait what happened

harryfan1 she accidentally accepted someone’s follow request. they’re spreading all the pics from her instagram on twitter now.

harryfan oh wow

harryfan4 yeah they’re def dating it’s over for us

harryfan3 DELETE

harryfan2 guys stop engaging with the post it’s only going to gain more traction if you do. dm the account if you want them to stop don’t like or comment

harryleaked

9,977 likes

harryleaked more photos from harry’s rumored girlfriend’s instagram.

posted this july with the caption: “the wait was worth it for this v v v belated valentine’s day date”

harry also commented: “Better late than never?”

View all 3,567 comments

harryfan1 wtf she has the prettiest smile

harryfan5 so it’s confirmed confirmed

harryfan6 this july… he had a show in paris… he took her on a date in the city of love…

harryfan7 UR SO RIGHT WTF WHAT A HOPELESS ROMANTIC

harryfan guys seriously stop bringing attention to it. i know this is a shock to everyone but we’re helping nobody by talking about it so publicly. especially since harry and her clearly don’t want their relationship to be public right now

rollingstone

156,739 likes

rollingstone What is it like navigating relationships as the most wanted man in the world?

Harry Styles speaks to Rolling Stone about love and privacy, two concepts that are frequently in contention for someone who has reached the level of stardom that he has.

“It can feel a little voyeuristic, at times. I think obviously at the end of the day, all anyone wants to do is to be able to love freely and openly. That’s harder to achieve when you’re under the scrutiny of the entire world. So, I like to keep parts of my relationship to myself. We basically built a wall of privacy that we could safely love each other behind. And while that isn’t ideal, it’s what works for us. Obviously, I think it goes without saying that it’s disheartening when people try to peel back the layers we’ve carefully constructed to protect our relationship.” He says, hinting at private photos that leaked online recently, which forced him to go public with girlfriend Y/N L/N.

Visit the link in our bio to read the full interview.

View all 20,473 comments

harryfan1 DAMN y’all need to apologize to him right now bc he’s neverrrrr called us out this openly before and we’ve done a lot of out of pocket shit historically. he’s MAD mad

harryfan why do i feel like i just got put in time out

harryfan3 EVERYONE SAY SORRY HARRY

harryfan2 like what did i say? harries can never just be serious and look what happened because of it

harrystan y’all don’t know common courtesy and got yelled at because of it LOL

harryfan9 another day of harries ruining everything

harryfan8 anyways… he looks so good in this pic

yournewinstagram

Liked by harrysnewfinsta, yourbff and 10 others

yournewinstagram ok girls let’s try this again 🫵🏻❤️‍🔥🎀⚡️🌈

View all 5 comments

yourbff BACK & MORE PRIVATE THAN EVER

yournewinstagram that’s the first and last time you’ll see me on enews

harrysnewfinsta Hey can you see my comment? Is this working?

yournewinstagram yes harry it’s working.

harrysnewfinsta Ha! Tech whiz Styles

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles social media #harry styles fic rec #harry styles headcanon #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff