#like idk just the same stuff but his only struggle in life is trying not to fall for her

[multifariousqueer]

Miles cheating fic pt.2

Request: Ok here’s my request and it’s not smut so don’t worry lol.

What if like Yn tried sneaking into Mike’s room with some good news or smth and she catches him doing the deed with another girl so she decides to leave and then he’s blowing up her phone but she cuts him off. Idk just angst angst and more angst lol

A/n: AHHHH ENJOY Y’ALL. I wanted to make this story a bit different so lmk if you like it❤️

Warnings: cheating, toxicity, mentions of alcohol and knives, Miles being annoying, lmk if I missed one

“no” you said simply, running to the kitchen to grab a knife to get Thomas down and to defend yourself against Miles

“Listen, I’m so sorry and I know that doesn’t change anything” he started

“no it doesn’t. Listen, I’m giving you three minutes to get the hell out of my home. What is wrong with you, seriously? Have you been stalking me?” you asked rhetorically because you knew Miles had been

Miles would stalk you all the time, mostly for safety and to make sure you were happy but ever since the breakup, he had been stalking you to see where you would be and to see when he could quietly slip into your life again. When he realized you were 1000% done with him and had a new boyfriend, he realized it was now or never and he was already out on patrol. You had been packing stuff up and getting ready to leave and Miles would quietly watch you through your window and sometimes, when you weren’t home, he would come into your apartment and walk around taking in the very essence of you that he missed so dearly.

You had consumed Miles’ thoughts and dreams and he knew he couldn’t just let you leave without saying goodbye, right? Even though he got into your dream school and had every intention of going so he could stalk you more and make sure you were still safe(and available). 

“Hermosa, I love you way more than this guy and I mean, he couldn’t even fight back so what does that tell you about him?” Miles chuckled dryly 

“I DON’T CARE! GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE” you shouted, waving your knife at Miles as he walked over to you

“Call them, I’d love to say hi to my dad. And stalking is a bit of a stretch, more like watching you from afar” he said

“that’s stalking cabròn”you said

“I never thought you’d call me that. I gotta say, it hurts” he said, putting a hand on his chest

“What do you want?” you asked, already knowing

“you, mami. I miss you so much and I haven’t been the same since you” Miles confessed

“Where’s your blanca? I thought you were happier with her” you said, tears in your eyes and Miles was hovering above your face

“She wasn’t you and she’ll never be you, y/n. I love you and only you and if I could go back in time and fix it, I would in a heartbeat.” he said

“hm. Well I’ve moved on and I have a boyfriend and I got into (your dream school) so I guess we won’t see each other anyways” you said

“Oh wow! This is a wonderful time to mention that I got in there too!” he smiled brightly, disregarding the boyfriend thing

You wanted to sob right there. Miles was a bit of a better student than you and he could get into your dream school without even trying and that’s what pissed you off. You had to struggle while Miles got off Scott free and still got to be Spider-Man. On top of that, the feeling that you would never get rid of Miles, no matter how much you tried ate away at you in that moment.

“You’re lying” you said, knowing it was true

Miles pulled out the letter and smirked at you

“see you there mami. And as for your cabron, that isn’t going away for another 6 hours, that’s your formula” Miles said, walking past you to your window

You had designed some web fluid for Miles and you weren’t shocked he was still using it, I mean you are a fantastic engineer when it comes to Spider-Man stuff.

You walked over to Thomas and he made a joke:

“I should’ve just went home” you both chuckled

You had hugged your parents goodbye as they left you alone in your dorm. You had dreamed of this moment since you were eleven and now that it was happening, it brought tears to your eyes. You met your roommate and went to greet some of your classmates. 

When Monday came, you sat next to a cool girl and made conversation:

“I love your bag, Marc Jacobs?” you asked

“yeah, your shoes are so cute.” she said

“Thanks. I’m Y/n” you said, holding out your hand

“I’m Mia” she said shaking your hand

You two spoke a bit more before someone interrupted your conversation:

“Is this seat taken?” you immediately recognized the voice and placed it as Miles’

“oh no!” Mia spoke

He put his books down and gave you a smug look. You scoffed and class had started. 

The class was relatively easy since it was one most people were required to take, its just nothing was ever easy when Miles was there. He kept proposing study dates or just hangouts and you always declined but he asked in front of your new friends this time so you couldn’t just say no without them thinking something was wrong. So, you accepted and offered for your other friends to come which they happily accepted. Miles let out a bit of a sigh and gave you an expressionless look but you could tell he wasn’t thrilled

Eventually, he became apart of your group because he was nerdy and cute so people really liked him. He kept trying to get you alone with you to talk but you never allowed it, instead you surrounded yourself with people and made sure to lock your windows. Whenever your roommate questioned it, you would say:

“I don’t want any spiders to get in” 

She would always agree and y’all would go back to doing what you were previously doing

Y’all got invited to a party and you all met up at your dorm. Most of y’all crowding around your sink and doing your makeup while the guys sat on your bed and read some of your books and looked at their phones.

When you emerged from the bathroom in your dress and makeup, Miles gave you a slacked jawed look and his eyes lit up. You walked over to him in your heels and closed his mouth for him before walking out the door

The rest of the girls got ready and y’all left your dorm and took some alcohol with incase it wasn’t good at the party

All eyes appeared on you when you walked in, your girls leading you to the dancefloor where they danced on you and you danced back. You felt a sense of Euphoria and ecstasy as you swayed to the music with a red solo cup in your hand as you smiled. Most of your group split up and it was just you and Mia dancing together. You went to fill your cup when you saw Miles already there

“hey, y/n” he said

“oh hey” you smiled, being friendly and a bit jaded

“you enjoying this?” giving you a “really?” look

“mmm yeah. Well I gotta go, I hear my song” you said, rushing back to the dance floor and twerking on your friend

Miles had a bit of a somber expression until a girl started talking to him and asked him to dance with her. At first, he was gonna reject but he saw how happy you were and he decided to try to make you jealous.

She twerked on Miles and he didn’t know what to do at first until he got in his groove. He still watched you intently until the girl came up and grabbed him before turning around and trying to kiss him. She kissed him and he reciprocated, pretending it was you. 

You saw this from across the room and you decided to have some fun. You walked over to them and whispered in the girl’s ear:

“careful, he might cheat on you” 

Miles decided he had enough and grabbed you by the arm, dragging you outside, you remembered how strong he was and you knew this was gonna leave a bruise

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” he asked

“just tryna make sure she dodges a bullet” you smirked, almost laughing

“Are you drunk?” he asked

“no, im just done with your shit” you said before trying to walk away but he cursed at you

“Ven aqui, mami” 

“I’m not your mami, i’m not your hermosa, i’m not yours, miles.” you said, sternly

“Haven’t I apologized enough? Can we just kiss or fuck and make up? I’m sorry, I still love you and I’m willing to do anything to fix us” he pleaded, sensing your sudden sobriety

“There is no more us Miles. I told you from jump that cheating was the one thing I couldn’t forgive. Let me go before someone sees us.” you said

He let you go as you strutted back in the party and went back to dancing, knowing you weren’t going back.

#miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles morales x y/n #miles x reader #miles Morales headcannons #miles morales fanfiction #spiderman #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spiderverse fanart #spider man atsv #atsv #yandere miles morales #into the spider verse #spiderman into the spiderverse #marvel #spiderverse #for you

[froggibus]

Hello how are you? Idk if this has been written before cause I can't find something like it but I request a simple valorant x reader where they used to have a crush on her in like highschool or whatever hehe

(maybe yoru, phoenix , jett.. if you can then gekko!!)

Reunion - Yoru, Phoenix, Jett & Gekko

Genre: fluff! :)

CW: yoru being yoru, maybe a little ooc? mostly wholesome stuff

syd? doing a request? a miracle. technically reqs are closed rn but im still gonna work through a few of them

————

YORU 

probably had a huge crush on you but would never admit it

the kind of guy that would tease you/be lowkey mean to you just cause he likes you 

tsundere ass mf

after you guys graduate, he doesn’t see much of you after that 

and even if he does have lots of one night stands, this man struggles with emotional intimacy 

whenever he gets lonely he probably entertains the idea of cute lil y/n and what could have been if he wasn’t so shy 

when you join the protocol, it’s like he’s seen a ghost 

goes right back to that tsundere teenager and probably ignores you 

all the other agents warm to you right away tho so you’re naturally annoyed why this guy can’t let go of *whatever* you did to him in high school

on a mission with just the two of you, you finally confront him about his indifference towards you

things boil over and one thing leads to another and 

he kisses you

you’re literally so shocked you don’t even close your eyes

he pulls away, cheeks BURNING and refuses to look at you

“why do you have to make everything so difficult for me y/n?”

????

FINALLY admits he likes you after all this time 

PHOENIX  

he was flirty with everyone in high school, so you never caught on when he flirted with you

but this man was DOWN BAD

he probably asked you out at least once but you thought it was a joke/more flattery and brushed him off 

rip phoenix 

he tries to connect with you after graduation but life gets in the way, and then he joins the protocol 

whenever his relationships don’t work out or he’s on his last leg on a mission, he finds your face flashing through his mind 

when he gets back from a bad mission and still sees your face, he thinks he’s losing it 

“phoenix? you okay?”

bro is not okay

spends the next three weeks doing stupid stunts to try and impress you 

only succeeds in setting multiple objects on fire, spraining his wrist and getting a lot of lectures from Brim

you end up bringing him hot chocolate & rum to lift his spirits after he’s essentially put in a time out

“so, are you gonna tell me why you had a sudden bout of pyromania?”

sighs and finally admits he has a crush on you and has for a long time

you kiss him to let him know you feel the same way

and then the two of you spend the rest of the night getting drunk and laughing about how stupid you guys were in high school

JETT 

she liked you a lot in high school and didn’t know how to express it

probably tried asking you out more than once and failed miserably

just stumbled over her words all cutely and then says “never mind” and runs away

you thought it was cute and never really thought too much of it

after high school, you think about her a lot and start to realize she probably liked you

and poor jett is so swamped with missions she barely has time to settle down

and even if she does, she can’t find someone to keep up with her 

she’s ecstatic when she sees you joined the protocol 

a second chance!!

you get a little flustered around her now that you know about her high school crush and you somewhat hope she still feels the same way

she’s surprisingly matured and isn’t nearly as flustered around you as she used to be

tries her best to make you feel included too

 it’s not long before her old feelings come bubbling to the surface tho

she’s probably the most emotionally mature of the group so she just straight up confesses to you 

both of you are tired from a mission and share a half kiss/half hug where you’re just leaning against each other 

GEKKO 

he was definitely popular in high school but it never went to his head, he just did his thing and hung out at the skatepark 

bit of a rebel 

he mostly just admired you from afar, and if you were ever together for group projects, flirted with you lowkey

never anything serious or enough to make you actually realize how he feels 

but enough to keep him infatuated 

when Brim announces that you guys have a new agent joining the protocol, you do not expect it to be Mateo 

both of you are shocked (it’s like the Spider-Man meme irl)

you do your best to make him feel welcome, taking him around and introducing him to everyone 

you decide one night to take him out for drinks with some of the other agents!! 

everyone starts to leave until it’s just you and Gekko

you’re both a little tipsy and start talking about high school

he admits he had a crush on you in high school and that he’s super happy you guys get to see each other again

kisses you & asks you if you want to go out again

#Valorant #valorant x you #valorant x reader #valorant hcs #jett hcs #valorant jett #gekko hcs #gekko valorant #yoru hcs #yoru valorant #phoenix hcs #phoenix valorant #x You #x reader #yoru x reader #jett x reader #phoenix x reader #gekko x reader

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

i have compassion for Fitz Vacker in the same way I have compassion for Child stars in Hollywood.

He is perceived as a living dream, while he exists in a nightmare that people have so little understanding and empathy for. There's a level to him that is fundamentally unrelatable to most. He has no perceived lacking. At least, not when you're taking in the situation at face-value.

And this^ way of seeing him is fundamentally isolating. It strips him of depth and realness, and it makes him into an image to ascribe ideas and false perceptions onto. A blank canvas to project all of your worst insecurities . After all, He's not real- it doesn't hurt him, right? In fact, it's trendy among the lower class to dislike him. If you aren't obsessed with him to the point of a parasocial relationship, then you resent him. He cannot struggle or have any issues whatsoever because the perception of what luxury is, is so powerful.

This is reflected in the way Dex saw the Vacker's in books 1 and 2. It's reflected in the fandom's inability to empathize with Fitz is any way shape or form (at least on Pinterest/YouTube/Instagram)

He's socialized more around adults than his peers, because of the idea of giftedness and notoriety. Which just puts him on a higher pedestal, and makes him a larger target to hate among kids his age.

He is known, but he is not known. If anyone pursues him as a friend, it is for the sake of making connections and being popular. It's disingenuous. It's to use him as a stepping stool on a rapid rise to fame. to exploit him for personal gain. His trust issues don't come from nowhere, after all.

He had one friend his entire childhood. and what do you know? It's a kid who is trying so hard to outrun the exploitation of his dad's dreams and wishes for him.

Sure, Fitz's parents are present in his life, but they can only mitigate so much of the outside world before it starts seeping right through the walls of their home.

I just think it would be so strange to have so many people barely know you and either obsess over you to the point that you are more fantasy than reality, or resent you so much that you can't say a word without hearing some snide comment in response. And to know that NONE of it is real. None of these people know you.

Fitz's family obviously represents a really big issue in society. Because Dex, Sophie etc... they are RIGHT, that the standards of their world aren't fair. They are right to call it out. They are right to have anger towards the 'upper class' who does nothing to help the lower class. It's understandable. and it's far more relatable than Fitz's situation. but the thing is, shame is shame. and scorn is scorn.

the upper class may whisper. But the lower class does too.

and that's just it. Therein lies the issue with the lost cities.

IT"S NO ONES CHOICE. It was not Dex's choice to born into a bad match marriage, it was not Keslar and Juline's choice to be born in a world where a system like mathmaking even exists. It wasn't their choice to have triplets. But it also wasn't their choice to raise them in a society that hates them.

But no more was it Fitz's choice to be born a Vacker. No more was it his choice that his parents happened to be a good match. It's not his choice to be born into a society where that stuff matters. He's a kid.

But because he represents something at face value that people tend to hate, he is undeserving of compassion when compared to a character like Dex. Fitz is dismissed and disliked because he represents something about their society, even though he's a child who has no real way to combat what generations older than him have enforced.

He is the vessel that is easy to target and to hate, because people need to find someone to blame. Even if that person technically has not contributed in any way to the thing that the people wish to destroy.

and it can only cause resentment to build between the two classes.

Idk man the perception of Fitz Vacker will forever have my head spinning.

#“And they'd all be so disappointed but who am I if not exploited?” #Fitz vacker #biana vacker #alvar vacker #kotlc #kotlc meta

[house-strong]

— THE LORDLING and the girl ʾ ⋆

summary ; requested by anon.

“So I want to request headcanons (or one-shot Idk) Luke with a fem! servant! reader (or else u can choose!) that absolutely loves to tease and fluster him, or maybe, just a relationship between them?? It doesn't matter actually I just want more stuff with Luke lmao.”

pairing ; lucerys velaryon x servant!reader

notes ; i can’t really write headcanons i hope a fic is alright 😭 for the sake of this fic, both you and luke are the same age and there will be NO sexual innuendos. just minor schoolyard teasing and kitty fluff. also this is kinda short, my apologies :(

lucerys velaryon was a short-sighted enigma.

one day, he could be playful; his laughter bouncing off the walls of dragonstone and bringing life to the dreary, volcanic castle. another day, he could be so serious and stone cold, almost like he was like another aemond targaryen reincarnate.

but one thing was for sure, he did like his mothers personal servant girl.

a pretty thing, without a doubt, you were drastically different to the white silver locks of hair he had grown accustomed to seeing. with a radiant smile and giggle that made his heart flutter a little faster and his face flush, he didn’t know what this meant.

i mean, he hasn’t even spoken to you himself.. yet. he hardly even knew your name.

he could go out and seek an answer to the weird feeling he was getting. maybe he was sick and you happened to cause it to become obnoxiously obvious? no, doesn’t sound like any sickness he’s heard of, at least. growing up in a family of mostly men was also difficult – he didn’t want to be jested or ridiculed, it was the one thing that annoyed him the most.

jace, without a doubt, would do such thing. he wasn’t always a reliable source of knowledge either – his elder brother would probably blow the idea out of proportion and involve their mother. thats the one person lucerys wants to keep out of this conversation. perhaps his step-father, daemon? he would be too enamored by rhaenyra to make jests of the situation, then again, he also didn’t seem like a reliable source to take wisdom from.

perhaps.. rhaena? who else better knew about this sort of thing than girls?

once luke had paced up and down his room, trying to formulate his questions without sounding.. odd, was weird. he left his room and greeted the the knight that stood at his door. he turns on his heel and makes haste to find rhaena.

he’s too busy walking briskly down the endless halls and corridors, that he doesn’t notice you holding a tray of desserts. his body collides with yours, the tray is thrown from your grasp and little cakes are sent flying. your arms flail desperately as you try to find something, anything, that will break your fall.

to no avail, you land on your back against the floor and lucerys’ weight on top of you is painfully obvious.

“get.. off me!” you say through a struggled breath, your hands moving to grasp his shoulders and roll him over to the side. he helps you and flops rather ungracefully against the cold floor on the other side of you.

he’s the first to sit up, eyes wide with horror and mouth open wide. he doesn’t even realize who had had.. oh no. he turns to observe your face, drinking in the appearance of disheveled hair and clothes that were now evidently marked yellow with cake. he looks down at his own clothes, a gasp leaving him as his hand scramble to swipe away the yellow crumbs. his mom is going to kill him.

there’s a noise coming from him and he’s sure that he’s hurt you. he tries to muster an apology, but his words come out in shuddered breaths and an uneven tone.

he only realizes by looking at your face that you’re laughing.

“wha–” the word of surprise doesn’t even fully come out and he’s struggling to find the source of why you’re laughing. he looks at the splattered array of cakes on the floor. “why are you laughing?”

“because it’s funny, little lordling,” you respond, pushing yourself off the floor and on to your knees. with a few more final laughs of realization, you move to pickup the pies off the floor. “does your mother know you have two left feet?”

little lordling. two left feet. see, if it was jace calling him these names, he and his brother would’ve been on the floor wrestling. no doubt jace would’ve been victorious as he was older and stronger. but, to his dismay, you were a girl. he couldn’t do much but respond back with equally teasing remarks. of course, he didn’t know how to do that.

despite your quips, luke tries to help you rid the crumbled pies off the floor, “i’m not a lordling,” he counters, disdain on the tip of his tongue. “and i���m not little.”

you rise to your feet, as does the heir to driftmark. your eyes meet, leveled and unrelenting.

“we’re the same height,” you say in disbelief. you watch lucaerys furrow his brows as if he didn’t understand. “i get called little.” touché.

lucerys opens his mouth to protest, but he’s interrupted by the sudden appearance of princess rhaenyra, his mother. she wears a shocked expression on her face, one that has the shadow of a smile.

“now, what happened here?” her words are like honey on the ears, compelling you to tell the truth.

you immediately move to give the princess a curtsy, “my apologies, my princess. it seems that your son and i both have two left feet. it will not happen again.” a formal gesture, one that the princess dips her head in response.

the princess mother gives a small chortle of delight, observing the way that lucerys shoots you a glare. his resolve softens though and his face betrays him. the soft flush of pink crawls up his neck and it seems that without any further evidence, she knows.

“luke, my love, why don’t you help (y/n) with gathering more cakes? we wouldn’t want to disappoint joffrey.” her jeweled hand moves to ruffle lucerys’ hair and he too sends a glare towards his mother.

“mother,” he tries to protest, but a raise of her brows quickly quiets his cries. he then mutters out a small, ‘okay,’ of defeat.

you pick up the tray and luke brushes away the remnants on his clothes, nose scrunching as he follows you blindly to what he assumes would be the kitchens. that’s where you get cakes.. right?

once you’re both out of earshot of his mom, “just so you know, i’m not a lord, i’m a prince.” he says the title almost boastfully – though his soft resolve does little to back up the proud statement.

“whatever you say,” you pause, walking through the corridor into the kitchens of dragonstone. each maid, cook, steward, and servant make sure to bow when lucerys passes by. you take a moment to share a look with him, the corner of your lips rising into a small, playful smirk. “little lordling.”

#lucerys velaryon x reader #lucerys velaryon imagine #lucerys velaryon #hotd imagine #hotd x reader #lucerys velaryon fic #hotd fanfic #my writing

[aliceinclockland]

Cardcaptor Magicians and their Ceremonial Clothings

Welcome to Episode one of my random Cardcaptor Blabberings (or blabblecaptor— it's a working tag title), a "series" where I talk about random Cardcaptor things without doing that much deep diving because I hate too much research.

Since I'm notorious for starting things and not being consistent to the point of not even continuing what I started, let's see how this one goes. 😆 I'm also bad at words so wish me luck.

I'd like to start this off by saying 2 things:

this all started because I saw Sakura's pointy hat and got reminded by Kaito's ceremonial robe... then got reminded of Eriol's robe right after.

this isn't a serious analyzation of their outfits, given the reason i wanted to blabber about this is their pointy hats. also I'm more of a Nadeshiko when it comes to fashion: so far from the word 💀

Lastly, take this as a silly post while I try to learn how Tumblr works. I don't want people to use this as a source (or anything similar) because at the end of the day, this is all just silly typings of someone who excels in associating the most random stuff with each other without being able to explain why.

With all of that out of the way, Let's get started!

lold what i said earlier, the moment i saw Sakura's color page in Chapter 74 my mind went straight into Kaito's robe, and when my brain went to remind me of Kaito's ceremonial robe colored page, it immediately went to Eriol, and then started to compare the three, asking myself about their similarities aside from the initial idea of this entire post, the pointy hats.

starting off with the robes, all 3 of them have their attires in the color black. idk why it's like that, but it makes the gold in their clothing shine more i guess 😆

the patterns the clothings have also are (mostly. just in case if there's a part where it's not) symmetrical, visibly seen within the designs on the torso parts (in this case, Eriol & Sakura's chest (?) part, and Yuna D. Kaito's back). I could say it's the magicians' insignia but just in case it's not I'll just say symmetrical symbols 😅

but, surely that's not the only similarities, right?

well, aside from the pointy hats™ and the color scheme & patterns their robes have, I also realized that they're also all powerful magicians~

Eriol is Clow's reincarnation, and according to various Cardcaptor characters, he (Clow) was the most powerful magician to ever exist (but also the most fucked up one as well, i guess.)

Given that Clow's reincarnation were 2 people (he thought he could divide his magical abilities between them), Eriol still (unfortunately) got all of the magic, and most of Clow's memories, literally passing down his title of being the most powerful magician onto Eriol.

This manchild can do lots of things, and his memory of his past life helps him excel in some of everyday skills a "normal child" would struggle with (ie. baking, drawing, sewing, speaking a language, etc). But, no one knows that— not even Sakura until he told her that himself.

also I'd like to point out the fact that despite a lot of his robe's designs were in gold (color, who knows if it's really gold? I don't.), the lining of his outfit is in red.

not sure if Clow's robe is similar (if not the same) or anything but if it is, has his robe been passed down from generations before him? and if so, which side of Clow's family was the robe from?

Yuna D. Kaito is also a powerful magician— in fact, one of (if not the) highest ranks in the Magical Association. (that's the D. in his name— it wasn't his middle name and in fact, Yuna D. Kaito probably isn't his real name) He can do lots of things, but he specializes in Time Magic... which is considered a taboo since you'll get a fucked up alternative world when YOU fucked up using that kind of magic... and also a shorter life-span but let's not delve much into that so this post won't go to the depressing direction 😁

And in regards of his robe, one can argue that the robe isn't really exclusively HIS, since you can see in the picture I've used that there are other people with him wearing the same clothing (assuming it's his clan's) so i suggest burning their headquarters down to ashes to make it YDK's own robe 😆😆

note: a kind friend in the comments pointed out my mistake of associating Yuna D. Kaito and Lilie Shinomoto's clans as one: their clans differ from each other. Yuna D. Kaito's in particular are a congregation of magicians that aren't blood-related and are officially referred to as "Magic Association".

i have no idea what to call his or Lilie's clans yet, but for now I'll refer to those as their respective clans 😅

Now onto the main Protagonist of the series: Sakura Kinomoto. In Tomoyo's words, "The only Cardcaptor in the world"

Started as a girl that had little magic that managed to grew stronger and stronger, then now having one of the abilities Clow had— creating cards (or new magic) on her own.

Though one can argue that she won't be able to do that if Yuna D. Kaito wasn't pulling the strings in the background, keep in mind that Momo said she saw right past Eriol's magic protection [to contain Sakura's magic]. Plus, in the Sakura Arc (where she technically created new cards but under a "template"), Eriol was pulling the strings as well and yet her powers still managed to grow, probably beyond people's expectations.

Her ever-growing power might be hard to control for her, but she's doing her best to utilize it in protecting the ones she cherishes the most.

Now the upcoming argument about Sakura's"ceremonial attire"... well, technically Sakura doesn't have one, and you can't really call that outfit a robe, but most of the details in a ceremonial robe (at least CLAMP's robes) present: the neutral color, the symmetrical design, and the gold lining/design.

I like to consider it her own ceremonial robe— made in a very fitting and unique image of Sakura, that only she will wear.

speaking of different, there are other powerful magicians that doesn't follow the same "ceremonial outfit" pattern so I thought I'd show them too!

here we have the Shinomoto Ceremonial Outfit, worn by the beautiful Akiho Shinomoto in this color page!

sorry about the picture if it's not clean... i tried so hard to find a textless one (same as yuna d. kaito) but unfortunately I couldn't.

now about the details aside from the pointy hat: the neutral color + gold lining & symmetrical detail scheme is there, but the difference with the 1st three and their robe is that the neutral color used with the Shinomotos' were white, as opposed to the first three who used black.

i know you've seen this already but since I'm talking about Lilie here in specifics I'd like to put this here are well: a kind friend in the comments pointed out my mistake of associating Yuna D. Kaito and Lilie Shinomoto's clans as one: their clans differ from each other, and that Lilie's (though only officially referred to as "most ancient magician clan in Europe") clan is blood-related, as opposed to Yuna D. Kaito's.

again, no idea what I'll call their respective clans separately yet, so I'll probably refer to them as their respective clans for now— though i have a few ideas xd

another difference is that the hat may be a bit pointy, but it's not as pointy as the three, and that the hat has three pointy things instead of just one.... okay, maybe not that pointy, but, still pointy 😅

okay that's too many pointy, let's get back on track 😁

the difference is blatantly obvious about this one, and I really can't cross Lilie Shinomoto out from one of the most powerful magicians CCS has ever introduced, since she had strong premonition powers and she was also considered a very powerful magician that's feared within Yuna D. Kaito's Clan. I mean it would take lots of powerful magic to be even able to cross time and dreams for that long just to tell Sakura about the truth in their (now fabricated) timeline?

but i wonder why is their robe different than the others?

we'll get back to that later, if i remember it. 😆

speaking of pointy hats™, you know a magician who doesn't have a pointy hat?

He's none other than Li Clan's next leader and Sakura's most important person, Syaoran Li!

one can never talk about ceremonial outfits without remembering Syaoran's iconic ceremonial outfits! with S because he has two— 1st one (in the pictures) being the original clothing he has, and the 2nd one Tomoyo made for him that was inspired by the one he used to have.

our little wolf is special~ from being Sakura's rival in the Clow Card Arc to being Sakura's most important person? He has learned so much and grew stronger along the way.

now about the details: his clothing doesn't really follow the usual attire pattern: the dominant color of his robe is green, the designs are indeed symmetrical, but the linings are both orange and yellow instead of the usual neutral pallete... his hat also doesn't have a pointy thing on it and instead has a hanging detail on the back.

"what about the attire Tomoyo made for him? it has 2 pointy things!" yeah well you're right, and as much as I gave the effort to add his Clear Card arc ceremonial outfit, I'm realizing now that it's not really an official robe now, is it...

about the clear card ceremonial attire, one can argue the same thing as they thought about Sakura while reading this blabber (if anyone has gotten though this far), "That isn't even a ceremonial ROBE". and you're right, it isn't... since it was Tomoyo's work, inspired from the original one. 😅

so think of it the same way as Sakura— made in the fitting and unique image of Syaoran, that only he could wear.

I guess the main couple of the series have that one as a similarity in regards to this random topic I've thought about. 💚

sooooooo what does this mean? why is his so different than the others?

is he not as powerful as the ones listed?

well. probably.

but he's not entirely powerless— his entire bloodline is directly related to Clow, and in addition, his mother Yelan Li is also a powerful sorceress. So they're powerful.

I mean would the Li Clan even let someone not as powerful as Yelan to be the next in line to lead? Of course not, since being able to have magic and to be able to properly control it are probably some basic requirements to be even considered as a candidate.

But in CCS at the moment, his magic wasn't enough to turn all of the Sakura Cards into those little orbs he kept on his compass. He's even having a hard time converting just one. And if I remember this correctly, he was aided by her mother (by casting the magic he needed in the bears) when he snatched the Sakura Cards from their master.

I'd say he's not as powerful NOW probably because everything happened too fast, and that he didn't have much time to make his magic stronger to get at least within Sakura's power level. Besides, he has lots of potential, and we all know he's a strong one so it's about just a matter of time until he reach his full power.

Now this entire post got me thinking about things as I was typing it.

Mostly they're questions I had to ask, like "okay, now what?" "Why did I do this?" especially because the original plan i had was to only have Eriol, Yuna D. Kaito & Sakura here but I thought I'd be unfair to the Lilie & Akiho, and Syaoran since they both have their own as well...

I really didn't think that one through when I started typing, but the more I think of things to type, the more I asked myself, is the ceremonial clothing an indicator of how powerful you are?

and it's probably a "duh." moment, since the ones who have robes are part of clans AND are also powerful.

(note that Clow was from a union of a European Magician AND an Asian Magician so imo- technically he's still part of BOTH clans, if each of his parents were part of one)

it's probably more of "if you're in an association with lots of other magicians", considering the fact that some of the ceremonial clothings were passed down to the living blood-relative of the family— hence why Sakura doesn't have one and the rest has.

though eriol with that ceremonial outfit can be a bit questionable since he's a reincarnation n stuff, and so far I don't remember ERIOL (capitalized bc I've been linking him to Clow, but I'm talking abt him as JUST him) being part of a clan since he worked independently (as far as I can remember), from what I can recall it was mentioned in the anime that the ceremonial clothing resembled Clow's... correct me if I'm wrong, though.

with the additional input i got from Cinzia (the friend who also pointed out the difference between Akiho's & Yuna D. Kaito's clans),

I also now wonder if the colors used in their robes reflect their intentions? or, since Lilie & Akiho's clan has been around for ages, how long their bloodline has existed?

because if it's the former, then it really won't make sense for Sakura & Eriol (though Eriol is once again, questionable... since his previous body as Clow isn't particularly... good nor he is also evil— at least from my perspective), and the latter makes more sense in general.

another one question i have is the explanation for Meiling's ceremonial clothing? like do they give different styles of ceremonial clothes in the Li Clan based on your gender? your magical abilities? or how closely-related you are to whoever leads the clan? i mean, i know she's an anime-exclusive character but I still want to know because I'm curious...

lastly, i wonder if Nadeshiko has one... since she is also a powerful person (she really doesn't do much sorcery stuff as far as i can remember), though the extent of her magic is unclear like Lilie, it's clear that she's also powerful because she can still do lots of things even after life.

IF you're one of the few people who finished reading this i just want to say thank you, and i hope everything made sense since i am very bad at explaining my thoughts 😭.

I think that's it, my brain is tired now and i want to go back to sleep again so good day to everyone and until next time, if there will ever be a next time 😆

and, cut! 🎬

#blabblecaptor #cardcaptor sakura #cardcaptor sakura clear card arc #card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura clear card #clear card #clear card arc #yuna d. kaito #akiho shinomoto #sakura kinomoto #syaoran li #eriol hiiragizawa #lilie shinomoto #blabbcaptor

[running-with-the-feels]

Possibly unpopular headcanon

NSFW Y'all!

I think Kuai Liang had a bit of a "ho phase" after being brought back from being a revenant

Like, for the first time in years his body was his own again and for the first time in his life he was able to make his own choices, nobody could tell him what to do or stop him from getting attached to someone and I think that would have led to him finally exploring things.

A lot of that would be mundane stuff like figuring out what foods he liked and whatnot

But I do also think that sex would be part of it

Bc also, He was a robot for a while too, so there were probably days where he woke up from a nightmare and needed to remind himself that he was made of flesh and blood, with sex being the most expedient way to do that, especially since he was on the run from the cyber Lin Kuei at the time

And being a revenant, with his every thought and action controlled? The ability to take somebody to bed and lose himself in something where he doesn't have to think and where he can be the one in control (obviously its a mutual thing but he does prefer to lead and sought out partners who wanted the same) is probably how he reminded himself that he wasn't there anymore

But also, Sex is a good way to stave off nightmares, the exertion and endorphins help a lot, so it probably served as something of a sleep aid

Plus, in the Lin Kuei, I doubt that touch was super common, so the only time he's ever felt somebody else's hands on him was with the intent of violence and I think that he probably struggles to conceive of someone touching him any other way. Sex is similar enough to violence (heart bounding, sweaty, lot of contact, teeth, etc. Like it's not the same but his mind would make the connection, especially if he's having rougher sex) for him to understand it, so it serves as a middle ground for him.

It's probably the closest thing to an affectionate touch that he's had in years, so he keeps chasing it. I mean, he's lost everything he knows and everyone he loves and could die any minute, he's going to start saying "fuck it" and just doing whatever he wants

I feel like this didn't really stop until he refounded the Lin Kuei and convinced himself that it was "unbecoming" of a grandmaster, but before that? He was in someone else's bed practically every night

I don't think anyone ever found out about it though, at least, not until well after Kuai Liang and Hanzo got together

It would also bleed into their relationship a bit, with Kuai Liang defaulting to sex when he needs comfort or affection or to resolve minor disputes, which would confuse Hanzo until he knew why. I do feel like they definitely would still talk about things and try to cope and process in healthy ways, but sex would still be Kuai Liang's knee jerk reaction to a lot of things

idk, it just feels like something that would've happened, yknow?

#kuai liang #subscorp #mortal kombat 11

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

some more ieytd headcanons but ones specifically centered around zoraxis staff. prism is mentioned but not really in a spoiler way. nothing is mentioned that the trailers haven't already revealed so idk

Juniper

Struggles to keep long term relationships of any type because showing that he cares about people is incredibly difficult for him. He likes to imply it and just… hope the other person knows. But what seems obvious for him is incredibly vague for others around him.

(He has lost most of his friends and all of his partners to this phenomenon and he’s really bitter abt it)

He hates embarrassment so much that the second he starts to feel it his brain translates it straight into rage. Unfortunately, this quick fuse normally causes something to happen that only embarrasses him further.

He talks to himself a lot. Which means that he thinks to himself out loud, but he also literally talks to himself. Refers to himself as ‘John’ and hypes himself up whenever he’s about to do something he deems important. 

His conceit actually comes at the consequence of making him incredibly paranoid. Whenever someone’s talking or laughing, he always needs to take a second to eavesdrop and make sure they’re not talking about him. 

Roxana

Suffers from very intense time blindness- both in regards to her work, as well as her personal life.

Robutler being there was probably the only thing stopping herself from wasting away after she left the Agency. She can, will, and has forgotten to eat, drink, and sleep while she’s been working on projects before. 

Names are incredibly important to her. They’re a sign of basic respect, and over the years that mentality has affected how she communicates with… pretty much everyone around her. She uses them a lot more than the average person would because of that.

(It makes talking w/ Fabby so hard because calling her ‘Fabricator’ feels. bad. That’s not a name dude. even Zor has a name Fabs come on work with her here.)

Really hates unpredictability. Only eats from a small pool of foods because that’s the only stuff she’s absolutely certain she’ll like. Working with her robots is so comforting because she’s always aware of exactly what their thought process is going to be. 

Solaris

She’s naturally very loud. Volume control is pretty much never at the forefront of her mind, but at the same time she gets really annoyed when people tell her to keep it down.

Believes (wrongfully, mind you) that everyone else has at least a neutral relationship with her. Is completely unaware that some of the crew are absolutely terrified of her.

Says what she means and means what she says; rarely ever sugarcoats stuff, and hates needing to decipher other people when what they mean and what they say don’t intertwine.

Praise doesn’t really do anything for her. Obviously it’s nice to receive, but it doesn’t make her feel any better about the work she does. In that regard, she’s entirely self motivated.

She’s very prone to sleepwalking. She’s learned the hard way to cut herself off from her projects and actually go to bed after too many incidents of her wandering around in the lab, bumping into who knows what.

Fabricator

Gets mad easily, and stays mad for a really long time. The sort of person to shake with how visceral her anger is. ‘An eye for an eye’ is one of her daily affirmations, she is not above revenge in the slightest.

She enjoys the way that most people shrink away from her in fear, and plays up her unnerving demeanor just for the fun of it sometimes. However, sometimes people will be scared of her when she’s not even trying, and she will be completely oblivious as to why.

(It's like that scene in Bad Guys where they can’t even get a check for their meal because the staff are all cowering, so they just have to leave the cash on the counter. Waiters in the kitchen drawing straws trying to decide who’s gonna be forced to serve her)

Poison has been her special interest since before she was even working with Zor. Obviously, they’ve only fueled that fire of hers since.

Absolutely adores creatures that people would consider stereotypically terrifying, so long as they have aesthetic appeal. She’d wear a live snake around her neck like a feather boa. She baby talks to Zor’s scorpions. She takes design inspiration from tarantula coloration. You get me.

Speaks with her hands a lot. If you stand too close to her she’ll probably poke your eye out.

#ieytd #i expect you to die #headcanons #the fabricator #commander solaris #john juniper #roxana prism #me and the girlies 💕 (and juniper too ig 🙄) #none of them are neutotypical. that's the theme of this specific compilation. #writing these down mainly so that i can keep a consistent interp of them inside of my mind. jic i want to write w them more in the future

[chromotps]

YOU MENTIONED ACELU MODERN/GANG AU. but what about — I know it’s cursed but please listen — supernatural AU? I don’t mean like the entire thing (monster hunting maybe, but not the entire angel/demons plot) but just consider the vibes of the first two seasons?? The “road-trip” thing. Struggling to get by (I’m such a huge sucker for “Ace struggling to make ends meet but he always makes sure Luffy gets food and clothes even if it means he’s not eating as much himself”-dynamic in modern AUs. God). Sleeping in shitty motels + having to share the bed more often than not. Taking care of each other’s wounds in dimly-lit, dirty bathrooms. The general, ever-present worry of how things are going to be in the future or the terrifying scenario when one of them doesn’t make it (except Ace just worries about Luffy, bc of course he doesn’t consider a future where he lives and Luffy doesn’t. Neither of them can think about it too long either way bc it makes their brains shut down). They’re blood-brothers, they think of each other like that, they call each other that except. Taking physical comfort from each other is also a thing, because that’s what they’ve been doing all their lives, because there’s always been just them, and it’s all they ever had. They kiss and sleep together, bare skin pressed against bare skin because it’s always been like this, and it doesn’t feel the same with anyone else (mostly on Ace’s side, because he did try — with barmaids, waitresses, men in shady bars, because he felt responsible for Luffy’s upbringing and well-being and it felt like an older sibling thing to set and maintain appropriate boundaries. But nothing ever compared to Luffy, even in the slightest). Both of them having to play so many social roles they kind of start blending into one another (because again, there was never really anyone around long enough to fill them in for them) - bc yeah they’re siblings, but. They’re also friends except it goes way beyond that. Ace, as the older one, has been Luffy’s caretaker too, he had to think and plan ahead for them both. But there were times when Ace was hurt they the caretaking role became reversed and Luffy had to take on all the responsibilities, until Ace recovered. Obviously none of it is how a healthy sibling relationship should look like, but god, I’m just soooo weak for the developing co-dependency, especially in scenarios where clearly unhealthy/potentially harmful behavior becomes a source of physical/emotional comfort (and tbh I’m pretty sure it also translates well into in-canon Ace/Lu because they didn’t really have anyone else either, for a couple of years in their lives. And Luffy needs social interaction like he needs food and sleep).

Oh man, anon, I was shipping and reading smut for Wincest like WILD back in the day, so. This AU is perfect. I'm eating up all the details of it just being the two of them, and a car, and a map. On a good day they'll get to jam out to music for a few hours on the road before pulling into a diner, and Ace splurges on treating him and Luffy to a meal of steak, burgers, shakes and pie.

But on a bad day. They get out of a rough fight, Ace with a nasty gash down his chest but they can't get help between all their papers being forged and being wanted for a crime they were framed for anyway. So for once Luffy drives them back to the motel, and sets Ace up in the tiny bathroom tub to clean out the wound and patch it up. The whole time they're just quietly saying stuff to each other like "thank you. you didn't have to take that hit for me. it saved my life" and "you're the only reason i do any of this. nothing else matters." "you matter. it's always been just you and me, right? what would I do without you?" and then... idk MaybeTheyHave"Thank God You're Alive"Sex or something who can say?? you know???

but omg yeah I LIVE for some codependency in my ships. I do have this weird thing where whenever I write headcanons it's like I'm in denial. like, I can't totally commit to calling it unhealthy even though it totally is, bc.... they're happy together!! Maybe they learn to accept help when they need it from some kind of Uncle Bobby figure (Jinbei?? Rayleigh??). but when it comes down to it, they only really care about staying with each other and keeping their brother safe.

I'm not really sure what's up with me today but I'm sort of in a horny mood so. I'm still thinking about what you typed with "They kiss and sleep together, bare skin pressed against bare skin because it’s always been like this," and I know you probably meant literal sleeping together. But I love thinking about the slippery slope Ace and Luffy took in the AU from "pressing each other close for comfort when they're shaken" to "Luffy noticing how good it feels when Ace holds him and Ace unable to stop his eyes from lingering on Luffy's lips" to "one time in the dead of night in the hotel, their breaths are mingling and their mouths are almost touching until, it isn't 'almost' anymore. and then somehow ace is on top of luffy and the orange glow of the streetlight outside is falling on where their arms are wrapped around each other. and even though that night should have been shocking, what they can't admit out loud is that it felt completely natural. it's just another part of everything that they are to each other, and no one else needs to understand this, either."

ANYWAY UH I can. talk about other aspects of this AU since I'm sure there were other things you meant to focus on but uh. I was in a mood. oops!

#i know i shouldn't be sorry for adding to the tag but #i can be a little embarrassed about this one #acelu #headcanons #also i LOVE these asks i am so grateful #supernatural au

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

iwtv ep 1 rewatch thoughts

[i am eating Popeyes right now and i promise didn’t plan it this way, but seeds were planted so here we are.]

first things first we [the viewers] are introduced to our two time Pulitzer Prize winning professor Daniel Malloy. We all come to this course with a variety of understandings of the topic just like in any other course. Right off the bat he’s telling us of his expertise in a pervious recording and at the same time we witness his visible skepticism of his own claims in the more nuanced present setting. if you think he’s the only reliable character it’s very much being challenged in the first few moments, which i’m sure has been pointed out many, many times.

he flips the channel there’s a war happening (clue about where we’re at in terms of timeline?? idk. i’ve only engaged with AMCverse so maybe?) and flips it again and the fantastical is going to become a reality. he just has to put the pieces he doesn’t have together so he sits down to do a puzzle (a devils minion easter egg apparently) and he’ll get those pieces by accepting the extended invitation sent to him by none other than Louis de Pointe du Lac, which picks up from his mail box after trying to fit missing pieces together. very solid intro.

Daniel: Why get any closer to the bug than i need to?

he says before he gets on an international flight and exposes himself to countless risks. It’s what he does tho right? i’ve seen a couple sc of the books where he describes Armand as looking like an insect. he is not put off by getting close to perceived bugs. Its funny tho as he’s asking the question, he’s unboxing the answer—louis’ handwritten invitation—as to what would be worth risking your life for right above the devils minion easter egg.

-bc the bug has been following your career (like the way armand followed him yes?) and you like that

-bc the bug wants you and has invited you and you are a risk taker in the ways an investigative journalist has to be to get to the story/truth. in a way a man who refused to face his mortality chooses to be as pointed out by the lovely tumblr user blueiight here (hope it’s okay that i linked you. lmk)

Louis definitely clinging to threads of the past. in 2020 he’s sending hand written letters (on papers with Lestat’s initials) instead of emails and original cassette recordings instead of digital recordings. A lot if not all of his threads to humanity are threads to the past (“in my day” old headass) since right now he seemingly doesn’t really have any connection to humanity in the modern time. being an out of touch billionaire will do that to you, on top of being a century old vampire.

I think thats another evil that gets overlooked when some of y’all are looking for “he’s just as bad” reasons to pin on him. Instead of the imaginary he bit claudia before bringing her to Lestat…like…in addition to his pimping he’s literally a billionaire. like its right there. that encapsulates the worst ways to exist in this world. he the manpire of humanity as well like…

which i guess is goes into the many faces of violence that fade to the background and don’t get called out enough. violence isn’t alway brutality and i noticed just this past couple of days people only see violence when it’s in tandem with brutality, but im not about to sit here and lecture y’all cause that’s not at all fun. and thats why im doing this. bc its fun. i just think this show does a wonderful job of showing the spectrum of violence and evil and i think you do a great disservice to what they have done here if you’re only seeing those things from one angle. and i think thats one of the reasons why so many people struggle with Lestat and don’t appreciate how masterfully (no pun intended) he’s been crafted bc you don’t recognize those things [violence and evil] anywhere else in the story as being as bad.

if thats Daniels box of the past he doesn’t have much kids stuff, just a pink stuffed animal and a bike helmet, so i wonder how much of his kids lives he’s really missed. Like it doesn’t even seem like there was a joint custody situation where they spent a great deal of time at his home as well. idk maybe he has things in storage. but i’m curious about that and how that parallels with how louis let his own child down as has been pointed out.

ngl he look tf good while he listening back to this tape 😩😅 someone zoomed in on his muscle flexing when he pressed play and i just want to say to you i agree wholeheartedly with you whoever you are.

he mad tho. snatched that letter up quick after pausing the tape. 😂

He dives into the (possible) eternal sunset on a highway that looks like water.

If this is a way to get Lestat’s attention, which I think it can be said is a part of why this second interview is happening given the papers Louis chose to write the invitation on, I think its very pointed that Louis is introducing himself as a keeper of knowledge considering one of his (possible*) final moments with lestat as pointed out here.

one of the last things Lestat ever did before he was poisoned, had his neck sliced, and was dumped in a garbage yard to feed on rats, was humiliate Louis about his love of books and claim the role of the knowledge keeper in their family. I think its a very pointed message that this is a book (especially with all the mediums available in 2020), of course Louis loves books, but also Lestat has beef with books lol (Between Gabrielle and Louis). If there’s anyway to get a rise out him (hehe) its a book where Louis is identified as the knowledge keeper of the immortal life Lestat gave to him. and it’s written by a savory inferior as well. louis could have written the book himself. God knows he has the skill, time and the access to do it so that was intentional. Lestat gone drop through the ceiling of the dubai penthouse in a rage.

*possible final moments bc we don’t know yet if Louis has seen Lestat since Paris etc. etc. which i think he will see him in paris bc of Rolins “can’t burn him twice” comment, but i’m open to being wrong.

i haven’t pointed out anything that hasn’t been discussed extensively, but this is a verrryy solid opening introduction to the show. right off jump they established this to be a well crafted episode.

i need yall to know right now that as we go forward in this episode i cannot be held accountable for who i become when faced with brown eyed louis’ fine self. you’ve seen it yourselves please don’t hold this against me!!!! i am not god’s strongest soldier! i am weak at the knees! i will buckle! i will fold!

#iwtv ep 1 rewatch #daniel malloy #louis de pointe du lac #iwtv #we are the viewers and the students #mw posts

[bigbroadvice]

Hi, I want to preface this with the fact I was raised in a conservative home, homeschooled, and very .. insulated from people I guess. My first public schooling experience was college and I only made a few friends I kept at arms length for a while. So I don’t know a ton of people.

I have recently been questioning a lot about politics and religion and science (I was never taught about evolution either and am just now learning about it) and I am .. questioning LGBT stuff and I was wondering if you know of studies proving LGBT identities? Or evidence for them? I was raised being told they just didn’t exist and the idea that they could be real is .. I guess amazing to me. I’m so sorry if this sounds cruel at all. I support and love my LGBT friends, I just don’t understand if there’s any science or proof behind it and .. I’m kind of questioning if I’m LGBT too but I really need evidence or I know I’ll never be accepted by my family. Are there studies proving people can be born gay or trans? Or anything else? Something like that? I’ve found studies looking at trans brains that look promising and the hemispheres and hypothalamus of gay and lesbian people but idk if there’s anything else.. thank you in advance.

Sorry this took so long to respond. I felt like I needed to do some research for it but I’ve been struggling to keep my head above water with college work.

Don’t worry, this is a perfectly valid question given where you’re coming from and that’s exactly what I’m here for, all the questions you’re not sure who else to ask.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re already doing a really thourough job researching, in fact I’d love to see what you’ve found. I’m not sure what kind of scientific proof I could find for you that LGBT people are real. It’s like finding research that proves the sun is real. Of course it is, it’s right there. Queer people are everywhere and always have been.

But I understand that you were raised in an environment that went to great lengths to deny that reality. I was also homeschooled in a very conservative home and while they couldn’t outright deny the existence of queer people because I had some access to the outside world and knew I myself was queer, they did try their very hardest to explain it away as something you get infected with, confusion, a choice, and/or sin.

I don’t know all the science behind why people are queer, I just know that they are and there’s no changing it. Some people are naturally attracted to another sex, and some people are naturally attracted to the same one. Some people have always felt comfortable in the gender they were assigned at birth, and some people never have and never will. People will try to tell you that can be changed, but it can’t. They used to try to medicate it like a disees but all that did was make people depressed or feel nothing at all, not start feeling attraction for the opposite sex.

Growing up, they told me that if I prayed enough and did all the right things I could stop being queer if I wanted it enough. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s a lie. I went though years of conversion therapy and am still just as queer as I’ve always been. No amount of bible verses and earnest pleading prayers and counseling sessions and exorcisms was able to make that go away, it just made life miserable.

The only choice involved in being LGBT is weather you choose to love or hate yourself for it. It’s not going away, so you can either choose to live in shame and keep yourself from things that would make you happy, or you can embrace it and live freely.

If you’re looking for more avenues to research, I’d recommend queer history. It’s really eye opening seeing how queer people have always existed in every time period and every culture, through persecution and celebration. We have been and always will be here for as long as humanity is, because we’re an inextricable part of it.

#big bro advice #cw religion #cw conversion therapy #cw christianity #cw homophobia #cw religious trauma #lgbtq #lgbtq community #queer #queer community #queer history #lgbt

[clever-and-unique-name]

As someone who's been through a lot of DID tumblr community, especially because you used to make infographics and talk about your DID and such here often... IDK, I don't want to ask if you regret talking about your DID or your parts so much, because that's too broad, but like.

[internal grumbling and vague gesturing]

Liiiiike... Hrgh. As a slightly adultier-adult than me, how do you balance having all this DID stuff online and also just like, being a 'normal' person in the world and having a good life where you're married and happy and all that?

For me/us, I feel like a lot of thinking and over-analyzing about DID has been detrimental overall, but it also got us to this place where we *don't* (need to) do that most of the time, and we're able to be pretty blurry and really only talk about DID/'parts stuff' if it becomes A Problem or something Comes Up.

I guess we're asking for your #HotTakes about this, if you'd like to share :)

(If you don't, that's totally okay, don't worry about it. Or you can tell us privately if you like! Just figured we'd ask, because like, nuance and we like your opinions/worldview a lot <3)

Hi Anni ilu :>

I'm answering this at work because I just Can't Resist but I'm not sure if the guys at home will feel the same so uh. That's a disclaimer I guess

Yearsss ago when we made this blog, we were specifically trying to #Figure Ourselves Out. That's explicitly what we made this blog for, to record and try to recognize patterns as we came to terms with having dissociated parts. And we were unemployed at the time (and also out of school? I think?) so we had a LOT of free time to be occupied with this stuff.

Which, as you mentioned, led to us reading a lot of books on the topic of dissociation and making Content about it. And also writing a lottt of more personal diary-like posts.

I don't regret that era per se; we went through a lottt of growth in that time, and it's nice to have it as a time capsule to look back on now (especially with the like, memory issues, ya know.) I don't mind it being Out There "publicly" either; we're pretty strict on what doxx-able info goes here, and our online presence is kept strictly from our irl one, with only a couple highly trusted exceptions.

HOWEVER

I do regret putting so much personal information here without fully understanding how vulnerable it made me. I didn't understand that talking about the struggles certain parts were going through would leave those parts open to people (with mostly good intentions) approaching us with commiseration and comfort--things our younger parts especially were starved for.

At that time we were quite isolated. We didn't have the skills to identify when we were fawning, or set boundaries when we did realize it. (This was before therapy.) And not everyone we let emotionally close to us should have been--something we unfortunately wouldn't learn until much later.

So like. Posting about DID in a general, informative way was pretty chill, and I wish I had the time and energy to do some of that again. But as far as publicly exploring our parts? We now have a pretty hard rule about only sharing things that have been resolved, or setting boundaries when needed.

But I feel you so much about mostly just being blurry unless something is a Problem or needs addressing. (Although it doesn't have to be big, it can be as simple as like "Why do I feel sad...oh, Reki is nearby and needs cuddles, got it.") It's just not as important now to Figure Everything and Everyone Out. I got a job to do and bills to pay. ;)

- Tris

#personal #answering asks #tristan tag

[oh-my-may]

Hey there

Hi, this is my reintroduction to tumblr (kinda).

I go by May on the internet, it's some weird nickname I made of my real name and goes back to my first gamer tag on minecraft...

I'm currently 22 years of age, which sometimes makes me feel incredibly old on the internet? At the same time I seem to come across many other people my age who go through very similar struggles as me lol

I curretnly work fulltime as a waitress. I'm European so I get paid a proper wage there, and the work with my coworkers is very fun and comforting. I'm not always the biggest fan of other people, but being a people pleaser and having the ability to hide my true personality behind a "nice" facade makes my job possible and bearable. (jk aside, I really like my job)

Hobbies include:

reading (I always say that, but I barely ever pick up a book. Just spent most of my early teen years absolutely ramming through a shit ton of books. I still really enjoy reading, but I barely find the time to do it. My tbr list is endless)

gaming (I'll dip my toes into anything that's not an ego-shooter, my PS5 is one of my most treasured possessions)

watching movies (last year I dragges either my sister or one of my friends to the theaters at least once a month. Doesn't mean I'm a movie critic or anything, but I really like watching movies and I might just share some takes on it on here)

anime (just a select few, the most famous ones. Life's busy when you have a fulltime job and still have other hobbies, but I'm currently on my first watchthrough of One Piece! Will definitely post about this from time to time)

listening to music (realizing I have very basic hobbies bc my parents never urged me to pursue anything specific when I was a child, but anyway: I will listen to almost a bit of anything, but Taylor Swift and Ghost were amongst my most streamed artists on Spotify last year. Do with that info what you will)

writing. I did start with writing fanfiction, first harry potter, then boybands, then kpop, then anime. Most important to me was always my original idea though. I know many people have things like this. A few years ago I thought I'd actually go with trying to publish something. Now I have revised and rethought the whole thing. I barely write, but it's still in the back of my head all the damn time. I always think about writing, but doing the actual thing rn seems impossible.

As I'm writing this I realize how pathetic I feel doing this, beacuse I have this awful feeling no one is gonna respond and I'll end up regretting this so much that I'll delete it. Thank God the internet gives me the opportunity to be anonymous.

Anyway, the previously mentioned hobbies lead to my (current) interests that I'll most likely post about, so if you're into one or more of these things as well, let's chat!

in terms of games: Currently playing through Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth and generally FF7 is probably a huge hyperfixation of mine and has been for years. I've just arrived in Gongaga on my playthrough and I'm loving all of it. The game caters to all the expectations and interests I have in games. It's just so insanely beautiful and makes me tear up every couple hours idk

on this note I'd like to mention that I dipped my toes into FF14 but since I only play on Playstaion now, all the commands are overwhelming to me. I'm definitely planning on playing FF15 and FF16

Kinda cringe but I swear I'm normal: Genshin Impact. Have been playing since early 2021, once had a pretty unhealthy relationship to this game, but I was mentally not doing well during that time. Having a fulltime job changed my perspective on the game. Now I'm a casual enjoyer bc I love the open world and characters, and I love to get into the lore, so I might post a few theories and stuff on here

On that note: Honkai Star Rail. Same company, but it took me way longer to get into the game. Really enjoying it now though, although I am struggling with a bunch of battles. Save to say, I am NOT playing the game for the meta lol

One Piece! As mentioned, I started my watch of it last year in summer just before the Netflix live action came out (work bestie talked me into it). I'm quite literally at episode 500 rn. Had to stop for a while at around Thriller Bark bc the first few episodes didn't quite do it for me. Now I try to watch a few episodes before sleep everyday :)

Other anime that I am different levels of unhinged about: Jujutsu Kaisen, Attack on Titan, Bungou Stray Dogs, Demon Slayer. The basics, I know. Just don't have the time to watch a lot while other life stuff happens, you know. OP is the main thing rn, and until I am kinda up-to-date with that, everything else will have to wait lol

In terms of book stuff I must admit I keep going back to communities and fandoms I was a part of when I was a teen lol. This largely refers to stuff like Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugho, The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater and All for the Game by Nora Sakavic

Right now though I am more interested in reading some classics and other stuff. Read Britney Spears' biography last year (within the span of one day, I wanna add), currently I'm reading a chapter of Crime and Punishment once in a blue moon. I'd like to read more stuff like that in the future, but everything at it's time ig

Other fictional universes I was once quite unhinged about: Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings. Both communities are kinda dead atm though. I'm still in the process of reading the books (which means I last picked them up over a year ago. But believe me, I'll get there, eventually.... someday)

In terms of music as I said I listen to almost anything. Not a lot of rap and techno, though. I like stuff with lyrics I can sing along to and feel deep within my bones. I wouldn't call myself a "fan" of any particular artist, I was very unhinged about musicians as a teen and I have learned my lesson. Now I just listen to the music without caring too much about the artist themselves. I used to really like 5 Seconds of Summer as a teen, then I moved to Kpop. Now I barely keep up with either but just listen to the stuff I did back then

I think that's basically it for now? The most important parts about myself. Stuff I like to talk about, so if you like some of this too, maybe come talk to me? I wanna get to know people here after all, and I have learned this is probably the best way to start.

I don't have many conditions for friends tbh. I'm 22, so anything between like 19 and 26 or so is fine as long as the vibes are good :) I don't care about genders and all that, personally going by she/her. I'm a Taurus, in case someone wants to know. Last time i took the test I was an infp-t (still think it's pretty accurate but it's been a few years nd I heard that test isn't as accurate? idk)

Other things you should maybe know is that English is not my native language, so excuse any mistakes you might come across lol. I dropped out of university. My profile picture kinda captures my most basic features.

Anyway, feel free to hit me up, I love talking to people on the internet and I really look forward to this reinvention of my account here and actually talking about my interests and reposting stuff I like :)

If you have any questions, just ask!

Until then,

May

#about may #may rambles #may talks #may rants #anime #ff7 #ff7 rebirth #about me #about myself #making friends #my interests #one piece #aftg #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #final fantasy #final fantasy 7 #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #genshin impact #honkai star rail #hsr #bungou stray dogs #bsd #taurus #taylor swift #the band ghost #ghost band #music

[toxicanonymity]

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

-

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

#ask #how the sausage is made #toxicanonymity writer's room #this doesnt mean i answer serious asks now lol

[isnorted12pixisticks]

Hi pokies, as someone who’s been in the fandom for a hot sec I have some opinions

So buckle up or just scroll past because this is a long one it’s just me word vomiting into the void at this point

Burner account because some of y’all scare me 😘😘

‼️‼️THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS ‼️‼️

Ocean

————

1. Wtf is y’all’s hate boner with her?

2. I have no clue where y’all got the idea that ocean parents are like these horrible abusive people. Like neglectful? Definitely . But I don’t think that Mr and Mrs offers their kid to take a hit off their bong are going to be incredibly strict and physically abusive towards her.

3. Ocean just a shity person with a superiority complex and that’s ok. she doesn’t need horrible stuff happening to her to justify that

4.Ocean was a bad friend to Constance, she was constantly putting her down through back handed remarks and talking over her “ she has self esteem issues why wouldn’t she?” “ do we really need another organ donor?” And not to mention her say that she believed that Constance did nothing with her life.

Noel

————

1. For the love of god stop making him an uwu soft boy twink <- this is not directed at people who just draw/ Write him with more feminine traits I do the same. I’m talking about those who infantilize him as the helpless soft boy who just needs a big strong man (Mischa) in his life and suddenly everything will be ok

2. I hate The Noel is Talia through either a code name or straight up catfish theory

A. The catfishing theory is problematic at best. Yes let’s take the single openly gay character and have him prey on another man character for his own satisfaction. Idk if Mischa’s cool with it in your fanfic it’s still weird

B. To me at least, Talia as a code name for noel just takes away the whole meaning behind her character. Talia is Mischa’s last connection to Ukrain. We see throughout the musical he was constantly trying to text her meaning they spoke constantly. She was his one and only lifeline, something for him to focus on and push through his shity situation to get to

Mischa

————

1. I beg of y’all stop himboafying this man, I get he’s big and strong but he’s not dumb😭

A. Mischas smart guys!!!! I get alot of actors portray him struggling with English at times but y’all got to remember fluency ≠ intelligence gance. it’s like his 3rd language cut him some slack. he speaks Ukrainian, Russian, English, and even some Dutch ( not even the Dutch speak Dutch)

B. Just look at his saw6 monologue! Man had an in-depth video essay explaining on a horror movie just ready to go when ocean put him on the spot

C. Mischa can be incredibly eloquent with his words when he wants to be. Ex his Talia monologue/ when he tells Noel he knows what clichés are

2. Listen Im obsessed with Gus halper so I get it we love his mischa BUT DONT COMMENT ABOUT HIM ON NON GUS MISCHAS

Talia

———

1. Stop 👏 hating 👏 on 👏 Talia 👏

A. I’ve seen so many people make Talia just a straight bitch in fanfics to justify Mischa not being with her and that feels weird to me

2. The amount of people I’ve seen straight up hating on Talia for doing absolutely nothing but “stand in the way of nischa” is wild. Like I don’t get how you can look at her, a character who doesn’t even have a single line and be like ya no fuck you

Ricky

————

1. I revoke my previous statement , I’ve seen some people ( mostly rp accounts) be weird ableist to not only Ricky as a character but his actors and I don’t need to explain why that’s gross

Jane

————

1. Honestly I don’t have anything to say here I haven’t really seen anything granted it is pretty hard to mess up a character who’s whole point is shes a blank slate

Constance

————

1. I think a lot of the fandom is guilty of seeing constance as just the “ sweet nice wholesome mom friend of the group” when (to me at least) the whole point of Constance was that people thought she was this, was because the never bothered to get to know her past that .

2. In her monologue it’s heavily hinted at that Constance was suffering with depression leading up to the cyclone.

A. Ontop of this we can see throughout musical she was self deprecating “Lost her virginity in a crap box in a crappy town, why of course she did.” you should always laugh at guys jokes otherwise they’ll think your a cow” AND PEOPLE DONT TALK ABOUT THSI ENOUGH

3. Also I dont get the “mom of the group” thing. Like she was nice to everyone and ocean mentioned that she baked but that’s about it

4. I don’t thinks it’s acknowledged enough that Constance was SAd. I don’t care if she wanted to loose her virginity, shes under aged and by Constance’s own emissions the carny was in his 30s

The fandom

————

1. Listen I love some angst as much as the next person but there’s a difference between angst and just some straight up hurt p*rn (especially with ocean, again wtf is y’all hate boner for her) I’ve seen literal SA fics written about her wtf

2.This one goes out specifically to you rtc rp accounts😘😘😘 (both on and off this app) there’s a time and a place to rp guys

A. If you're talking to other rp accounts then pop off. But That being said I’ve seen a lot of rp accounts bleed over into non rp post/ videos, while this is normally fine I’ve seen quite a few accounts pushing their head cannons on other non rp accounts as if their facts or an authority on the matter. Again nothing wrong with rp accounts / sharing your head cannons, just time and place guys

3. Look I get it plenty of the actors/ actresses that have been in rtc are attractive but some of y’all need to remember the characters themselves ARE CHILDREN

4. On the topic of the actors/ actresses some of y’all need to learn what boundaries are 

5. I saw someone try to pull some pro ship bullshit with the characters once and it haunts me

Rtc

——-

Listen. I absolutely love ride the cyclone, I’ve been hyper fixatingon it for the past years now that being said I’ve seen more than enough productions to get my fair share of opinions on it

1. Real Ukrainian war footage in Talia

A. It feels in very poor taste at best and just strange up gross at worst to the situation at hand. I get it Mischa’s Ukrainian and that’s a very important part to his character but that doesn’t mean you need to throw real war footage to the end of the song.

B. Talia and mischa story as a whole is tragic enough as is. You don’t need to add in the fact that on top of Talia possibly not even being real we’re now throwing in the possibility that she died in the war? It just seems like over kill to me.

2: Ricky’s disability being written out of the script was really gross. Like I get it they wanted to avoid another yannick situation but this like the worst possible way to go about it

There probably more but I’ve been at this for like 2 hrs (I’m going to update this as things come to me so stay tuned)

#rtc rant #rant post #rtc #ride the cyclone

[shadale-s-safe-space]

just curious, whta app/program do you use?

Okay, since I'm not the type of person to stick to only one art program/app and whatnot, here's my short reviews of every art program I ever used and the ones I still use.

PaintToolSai1/2 - pretty useful for people who don't own a drawing tablet cuz it has an amazing curve tool. Otherwise, I try not to think abt that abomination of an program.

GIMP- ummmmm..... it exists. Def not for drawing, more for photo editing or fixing ur art

Photoshop [multiple vers] - OK everyone sees it as a Lord and Savior of art. I say it's overloaded with so much stuff it can be overwhelming sometimes. Also better off fixing photos and drawings on it if you're not a professional.

FireAlpaca - making small animations on it was actually pretty fun, simple, easy, I'd recommend it to any beginner who doesn't need complicated tools just yet. But wants to try out new things and experiment.

IbisPaint- a lot of people use it and prase it, idk the damn thing never clicked with me. Especially after the "glitch that erases ur drawings with a square" thing, Tried it, now I avoid it. Nothing interesting abt it.

Medibang [currency use] - Currently wondering when they're going to treat the Pc verson and the app verson the same. A lot of stuff that are on pc are not in the app so lookout for that. it's alright, great for me and my lineart and comics and stuff. Kinda gets overwhelmed when folders get introduced for the drawing. But he's a champ yo, alright for paintings but not perfect. (Unfinished drawing)

Sketchbook [currently use]- alright for paintings, not so much for lineart at least to me. Some brushes are so overpowered that the app verson struggles to render it properly. (One of my unfinished paintings in it)

Krita [currently use] - It's okay. As I stated way before, I'm in a love/hate relationship with it. It has everything an artist would need, but the damn thing crushes on itself way too much . Bro is so overpowered he struggles to find balance in his life. Eh but I love it anyway, I used krita since the proper launch when it had nothing but few brushes and stuff, when it looked like a SAI copy or sum. Amazing to think that it was inspired by GIMP out of all things. (Fast animation I made in it)

Have in mind there are lot's more programs and apps out there. It depends on what you need from a program and your own skills, and lot's of other things.... they all have their strong and weak points, that's for sure.

#murder drones #murder drones oc

[the-grubdog]

Bigass Bernard Backstory Headcanon Because I Can't Be Stopped

Bernard was raised by just his dad. IDK what happened to mom, nor do I care to explore that. He was just raised by his dad. And his dad worked for a space company of some sort as a janitor. Took his son with him to keep an eye on him, as the company had a daycare service on board for travelers and employees alike. This allowed Bernard to travel around a lot at a young age, which utterly fascinated him. He's probably bothered a lot of the crew members when he sneaks away from daycare, always wanted to go see the pilots but was always stopped. They'd spend a little time at home, during which Bernard would go and see Santi (who he considered his best friend; Santi barely knew him and just thought of him as that one weird kid who showed up on occasion). His schooling was almost entirely homeschooling during this time.

But when he turned 13, he aged out of the company's daycare program. His father was panicking trying to figure something out, but ultimately ended up having to just. Leave him at home.

Fortunately, though, he had help. See, they lived in Bumfuck Nowhere, Nijo. The entire county went to the same school district, and each grade level was still only a little over 100 students each. His neighborhood was literally three houses with 5 minutes of walking between them, all smack dab in the middle of the woods. His neighbors kept an eye on him, best they could anyway. In one direction were the Lawrences, an old couple who's own kids were adults by this point. They were grumpy, stubborn, and traditional, but they cared for Bernard all the same. They raised chickens and a vegetable garden, and would provide him with free food (veg and meat). Even taught him how to do certain tasks relating to gardening and animal care. Mr. Lawrence's rule on food was that you could take as much as you could carry. Bernard would strain himself carrying as much as he could, which did lead to him building a fair bit of muscle.

Celestine was new to the area, so they helped each other figure out stuff like where to go for the best food and what not. She was much sweeter and soft spoken, raised rabbits and a smaller vegetable garden. Again, shared her veg and rabbit meat with Bernard. Taught him how to cook and preserve food, generally dotted over him more than the Lawrences. She's also part Nijonian, part Karutian, and was born + raised on Hocotate. She came to Nijo looking for an idealistic country life that doesn't exist, but she did get a life she was satisfied with. Adored getting to help care for Bernard while his pa was away. Led to him calling her "auntie", which she rolled with.

Santi was a 30 minute walk away, but Bernard did it anyways for the company. He always visited Santi, never the other way around. Santi ended up having to be the one to help him adjust to his new school, since traditional schooling is so different from homeschooling. Bernard was desperate to make friends, was really sweet and outgoing as a result. And Santi maybe got a little jealous when this random guy showed up and managed to become fairly popular whereas Santi struggled with that.

Bernard got into a lot of trouble, to put it bluntly. It started small: would play in the coyote infested woods (Celestine told him not to), build not-so-stable structures, get into shenanigans with Santi (practically dragged the other kid along with him), collected random shit that was rather sharp, and so on. Typical dumb childhood things for someone growing up in the countryside.

But as he got older uh. The lack of supervision mixed with his need to be liked led him to get into deeper shit as he got into high school. Drank under aged a few times, never enough to become an alcoholic though. Someone did get him hooked on cigarettes, which he'd have to find ways to obtain in decidedly illegal ways since he, again, was under aged. Smoking is something he's still trying to overcome, though being in Yonny's care has helped a lot. All the while Santi was worried for his… Friend? Santi didn't know what to make of the guy. Lawrences never knew but his Auntie was very aware and very much always on his case.

He calmed down by the time he graduated high school, though, and soon began job hopping. Moved to the nearby city and started at a company that happened to be in competition with the one Santi ended up working for. When Bernard inadvertently made a product that put the company Santi worked for out of business, it sort of solidified this weird tense relationship Santi had towards Bernard. Which, of course, Bernard never picked up on and always assumed Santi cared for him just as much as he cared for Santi. Because I cannot overstate how much he adored Santi.

They both hopped jobs a bit, Santi trying to figure out what he wanted to do and Bernard trying to save up for flight school. Much of this is canon so I won't really get into it. Just know he got into flight school, got into a good company, and was then scouted by Shepherd. Now he's working for the rescue corps.

Side notes I didn't get to mention:

Bernard has ADHD and it absolutely heavily influenced his childhood heavily

Because of ADHD, he either can't focus at all or focuses so hard on something (that something usually being flight) that he forgets about everything else. This is pure self projection on my part.

Sometime either during late high school or soon after graduation, he realized he was gay.

Has tried to settle down in a relationship but struggles a lot for a variety of reasons I can't quite articulate. Been in many flings and the like as a result

Got into doing drag performances some time after graduation, he puts a lot of effort into it and has a lot of fun with it

Loves reality TV, eats that shit up

is definitely struggling with if he just likes Santi as a friend or if he's actually always had a crush on him and didn't know how to process it before

I mean, he only ever wanted Santi's constant undivided attention. That doesn't mean anything. Right? Right?

his childhood house is a cheap little trailer. It's not in disrepair by any means, but it's not a quality house either. Not the kinda place he's exactly eager to show off.

his relationship with his dad is perfectly fine, he adores his old man. Sends money to his dad and auntie now that he has the spare cash to send

An incomplete list of foods he won't eat due to flavor, texture, or both: lettuce, brussel sprouts, cucumber, eggs, pickles, oranges, peanut butter, pork*, cabbage, any other leafy food tbh, asparagus, celery, pineapple, shrimp, turkey, mushrooms, mayo, raisins. There's absolutely more than this.

*alright pork is on THIN ice but it's ok if made in very particular ways

Food mad by his dad or auntie is usually fine with him

He drinks way too much caffeine to stay awake. Always has a coffee or a redbull on hand.

EDIT: something I forgot to mention in my first posting, he is multilingual. He knows Nijonian (Patois), Giyan (English), Enoheean (French), and Galactic Sign Language (American Sign Language). I represent the languages with irl languages for a multitude of reasons that are a little beyond the scope of this post.

Bernard has a few meme responses to say in Enoheean to mess with folks, just because he can.

These include being able to Rick Roll people in Enoheean, being able to recite the Loss poem in Enoheean, and telling people that they lost the game in Enoheean.

Bonus round: Random Santi Facts That I Don't Have Enough of for Their Own Post Just Yet

Santi's rivalry with Bernard is super complicated. He has reasons to feel some resentment, mainly how Bernard inadvertently one ups him at every turn.

Santi has a lot of internalized homophobia from his parents and hometown. So some of the resentment is also from him misreading his own feelings towards Bernard

"Seeing Bernard with that woman makes me feel jealous. Clearly, I'm in love with the woman and Bernard has one upped me again. Ignore the fact that I barely know her and have said this for the past five girls I've seen him with."

eventually he and Bernard will reconcile

#pikmin #bernard pikmin #santi pikmin #borb screams #dear god this is a long post #take and enjoy