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cathrrrine · 3 years

Text

RUN | Pietro x Reader

Originally from my Wattpad

CHAPTER 15 - GHOST

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[2009.]

Cold, unforgiving metal met the tender skin of my arm as I blocked his punch. That's going to leave a bruise. His blows were getting stronger, faster. He was testing my skills, they wanted to see how far I could be pushed. Although I wasn't far from the edge, I wasn't going to let myself fail today either.

"Focus!" He yelled.

I grimaced, ducking under his arm and landing a punch to his gut. Rookie move, but it was all I had at that moment. He grabbed my arm, quick as lightning, and dragged me by the chin so he could look me in the eye. My fists were still clenched but the exhaustion was starting to take a toll on me. I panted heavily as I tried to mask how drained I was.

With my arm still in his grasp, he said, "Who are you fighting for?"

It was almost a mantra that I was forced to reiterate every single time I fucked up. "Hydra."

He said it again, louder this time, his grip on my hand growing tighter. He could break my wrist if I didn't deliver. Hell, he could break every single limb I had. I couldn't fail.

"Hydra!" I scoffed. I belonged to them. I had to die for them. Hydra ran through my blood, and if it was ever spilled one day, it would be justified in their name.

That's what they told me.

Who was I to question them? I was nothing but a vessel, a weapon for these people. If I failed to deliver what was asked of me, I'd be killed. How ironic was that? To kill or be killed.

I hated it.

As soon as he let my arm go, I thrusted the top of my head into his face. I heard what sounded like his nose breaking and true enough, as I regained my balance and faced him, I found him wiping blood from his nose with the heel of his hand. It was satisfying, to say the least, to see that I finally made a dent.

"Perfect." He nodded.

God, it wasn't over yet.

He pulled his knives out of the holsters he wore, spinning them in the air and catching them both flawlessly. It was his signature trick. Honestly, I thought it was a bit too dramatic. But what can I say? Hydra loves their drama.

"Pay attention." He pointed the tip of the knife towards me. "Or you'll bleed."

He pounced, spinning his knives like they were toys and not murder weapons. He thrusted his right knife in the vague direction of my shoulder, I took a half-step back and circled around so I was behind him. It only took a second for him to whip around again, but I expected that move. So, I threw my leg up as soon as he did and I kicked the weapon out of his grip.

The knife spun around threateningly in the air before falling onto the concrete across the room with a thump. He didn't seem to pay any mind to his fallen weapon. That's when I remembered he had another. He twirled it around his fingers before gripping the handle and thrusting his right arm with full force, the gears of his metal arm whirring as he did so.

I thought I had it. I jumped back so he wouldn't catch my rib, but he was quick to calculate my movements. I should have known.

The pain was searing.

Blood oozed out of the newly-made wound on my calf, the knife buried to the hilt. I screamed uncontrollably as the pain of it kicked in, my body going limp immediately.

"That's enough, soldat."

Tears were falling down my face against my will. You know how sometimes your body does things you don't want it to do? I know, logically, tears were just how your body reacted to certain things. For example, being stabbed in the goddamn calf. But I knew, despite literal fucking science, the people around me took it as a sign of weakness. That's how messed up in the head they are.

But I wasn't weak. I just got through 2 hours of intensive training with the Winter Soldier while they just watched.

I'd like to see the lot of you fight him and manage to not get killed.

One of the medics went over to my side and helped me up. The Winter Soldier stepped aside and watched me with disdainful eyes. I knew I disappointed him. That alone could have fucked up my assessment. How did I not see it coming? How did I miscalculate that movement?

The Commander leaned in to talk to him as he watched me limp away. I made eye contact with both of them. The Commander's lips were moving but I couldn't make out a word of what he was saying.

Through pain-ridden eyes and a half-delirious mind, I could almost make sense of what the conversation was about.

Girl...Mission...Out...Threat.

Next thing I know, I was being treated by Dr. Nolan in the Medical Room. I don't think I processed anything yet. My brain felt numb. My eyes were glued to the knife — now on a metal tray — that I failed to dodge.

My mind flickered through all the different scenarios that I could have went with. I was beyond frustrated with myself and with my complete and utter failure. What were they going to do with me now? They couldn't really kill me...could they?

My mind reeled back to the conversation I saw that the Soldier and the Commander had earlier. What were they talking about? Did they finally decide what to do with me? The defective agent?

I wasn't perfect. I tried to be, but I wasn't. Somehow I always found myself disagreeing with their rules and their missions, even if I carried them out anyway. Although, sometimes I couldn't help but protest. I had to. Even if the consequences would hurt me. If they knew that I'd gone against more than just a few of their regulations, there's no doubt I'd be dead within the minute.

Footsteps came through the corridor, yet I didn't even think to look up.

"Your mission." The familiar faded black of a case file was thrown into my lap carelessly, the papers crinkling in protest as it landed. I looked up to see an annoyed expression that was attached to the face of one of the high-ranking agents.

"Mission? I thought I failed the assessment." My thumbs flicked through the papers almost automatically, scanning through the details quickly. I didn't miss the red stamp on the front. This wasn't just any mission.

He–David, I think–shrugged, "The Commander asked me to hand this to you. You're leaving in an hour."

"What?"

I was...thrilled and appalled at the same time. The whole point of the assessment was for them to see that I was worthy enough to be placed on important missions like these. If they trusted me with it, that means I succeeded.

"In an hour?" Dr. Nolan chipped in. "She hasn't fully recovered from her stab wound yet. You need at least two to three weeks of rest."

The red star-shaped stamp looked even more brighter in that moment, even if the room was poorly lit. "I've had worse. I can survive a limp."

"You won't even be able to walk." He raised an eyebrow at me in disagreement. Somewhere deep down, I knew I should listen to him. I wasn't in the best shape for a fight, let alone a mission like this one.

David huffed, "Orders are orders."

Then my brain clicked back into place. David was right. I nodded once. "I'll be at the hangar in 30 minutes."

"You better gear up by then. They wont wait up for you."

Dr. Nolan sighed and shook his head before wrapping my leg up with bandage. "Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you."

———

Snow was blowing in my face. The cold seeped through my coat, prickling my skin like tiny little needles made of ice.

"Any minute now." He spoke through the earpiece.

We were supposed to ambush a S.H.I.E.L.D operation that was a threat to Hydra. I wasn't entirely sure why I was sent along with the Winter Soldier, but I wasn't in the place to argue. Not when I just barely survived the assessment.

"Get in position." I crouched down, trying to smother a whimper that threatened to escape my throat. My calf was burning, but that wasn't a priority right now. Everything was always burning somehow, and I learned to ignore it overtime. I scanned the area through the scope of my sniper rifle. As soon as a car came into view, I steadied my hand on the trigger.

"Now."

Four continuous shots for each tire. Every single one blew out and the car spun out of control, spinning from left to right. It was a narrow road, the plan was bound to work to our liking. After a few nasty turns, the car swerved off the cliff, leaving nothing but dust and debris in it's place.

"They're not dead yet. Keep an eye out."

It was quicker than I expected, but I spotted two figures climbing out of the wreck after a while. Their movements were slow and staggered, but alive nonetheless.

"Target acquired."

I watched through the scope as he stepped out of his position in the shadows. One of the figures moved in front of the other, shielding them with their own body. I knew it was useless. He'd kill them both anyway.

A single shot rang out. I could picture the bullet going through one body to the other. They both dropped to the ground, dead.

"Target eliminated."

"Roger."

He didn't say a word. I didn't hear the usual rustle of his movements through the earpiece. Silence engulfed me. Usually, I wouldn't be so unnerved. He was always silent. But this time it felt...strange. I stayed where I was, unmoving. Something in my head told me I shouldn't move, shouldn't speak.

It seemed too easy.

I don't know what it was, but I didn't take my eyes off him. Something about this whole thing seemed...off. He could have completed this mission alone.

Why did they ask me to go with him?

He turned away from the bodies and faced me. I gulped, hands trembling as I held my rifle reluctantly. What was he doing?

"Sir?" I managed to say. Everything was telling me to RUN. NOW.

Slowly, he raised his gun and pointed it towards me.

Girl...Mission...Out...Threat.

My whole body trembled at the sight before me.

"Take the girl on your next mission. I need you to take her out. She's a threat to us, soldier. She's defective. Eliminate her. "

I was right.

Bang! The sound of a gunshot snapped me back to reality. It was real. They wanted to kill me. The Winter Soldier was standing ten feet away from me with a gun in his hand, ready to kill. To eliminate the threat.

Out of reflex, I pulled the trigger of my rifle that was pointed to his head, only to find it empty.

Four bullets. They only gave me four bullets and nothing more.

Without thinking, I ran. I dropped the rifle and ran as fast as my legs could take me. I heard another gunshot, closer this time. That's when I started to feel a strange sort of stinging at the back of my leg. The pressure felt strenuous as I continued to sprint in the snow.

Oh, God...Dr. Nolan was right.

I could feel the pain taking over once more as my stitches started to pop. Warm, thick liquid ran down my leg and seeped through the pants of my uniform as the wound on my calf bled out. Between the stinging cold and the stinging pain, I was starting to feel hopeless. I couldn't possibly go against him.

Bang!

Closer this time. I was running blindly into a vast, wide-open landscape of infinite snow. Not only that, but I was also leaving behind a trail of blood behind me. Deep scarlet upon stark white. What a contrast. Was this Hansel and Gretel or some shit?

"You cannot run forever." His voice was crisp, threatening. I couldn't take the fear that ran cold through me. If I stopped running now, I wouldn't ever get up again. He was the embodiment of fear, and he was chasing me.

I tore off my earpiece and threw it behind me. How could I have been so foolish today? Of course they sent him out here to kill me.

All along I thought I was playing the part perfectly. But, maybe I didn't hide my doubts of Hydra as well as I thought I had. Did they find out about everything I've failed to do?

How could I have killed those innocent children? How could I have murdered that innocent family? Or that innocent man who just so happened to stumble across a Hydra operation?

I was fine with the blood and the gore. I was used to that. The only thing that never sat right with me was when the innocent had to be slaughtered. The first time I went through with it, they haunted my dreams. Their animalistic cries for mercy, their howls of pain...I couldn't live with myself.

They were right. I was defective. I didn't have the makings of a Hydra agent. I wasn't as ruthless as I should be.

I ran and ran, hoping that he was far behind me. The snow was getting thicker by the minute, it was getting harder for me to see and to navigate.

I ran until my aching feet hit the pavement of a road that led to a small village. It looked homely, with houses and shops lined up along the road. Lanterns hung from roof to roof, providing light in the heavy snowfall. If I didn't know any better, I'd try to hide there. But I knew he would only tear it apart and kill everyone on sight just to eliminate me.

Then I sensed footsteps behind me. There was no time to think. It was my only option.

I sneaked through the worn paths of the area, trying my best to lay low. It didn't help that I was sporting a mean limp and bleeding all over the place. People saw me and they avoided me. I started to wonder why I thought heading here would help me. I scanned the area for anything, anything that would help. A weapon, a car, a spot that I could take shelter in...

Then, out of nowhere, I bumped into a woman.

"Oh!"

I held onto her arms as I tried to keep us both from falling. The woman was wearing a niqab. Her piercing green eyes looked right at me, distracting me from my original plan for a moment.

"Are you alright?" She asked, gently.

I must have looked horrible. Sweaty and bloody with panicked eyes. I didn't notice that her arms were still locked on mine, keeping me upright.

That's when I felt it, the surge of energy suddenly coursing through me. It was a peculiar sensation, but I welcomed it. Her green eyes widened. I knew she felt it too.

"You're-" she gasped, trying to pull away from me. I held onto her tighter, not wanting to let go just yet.

"Please." I begged. "It won't hurt."

I had to go before he came.

I heard gunshots behind me. I couldn't let him get to me, not when I just found the key to my escape.

"Who are you?" The woman whispered, struggling against me.

"Someone you’ll help escape death." I looked into her eyes, trying to let her see how desperate I was. I didn't want to take anything else from her but this.

Her eyes jumped from mine to behind me, before flickering back to look at me again. "You're like me, aren't you?"

"You don't need to do anything." I assured her. "I just need to leave."

It took a second of hesitation for her, but slowly, she nodded. She opened her mouth to say something, but I never heard what it was. Because that's when the screaming erupted.

I closed my eyes and teleported myself the fuck out of there.

#run pietro x reader #enemies to lovers #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader #avengers reader insert #marvel reader insert #mcu #mcu x reader #pietro x y/n #the winter soldier #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes #james barnes #hydra mcu #winter soldier x reader

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deripmaver · 3 years

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4 5 6 for ALL OF THE CaPri FANFICS

LKSJMDHGVLKSJ ALL OF THEM???

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? 5: What part was hardest to write? 6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Ink On Paper (tongue fic) 4. lmfaoooooooo there isn't a whole lot of dialogue in this one oop-

Laurent nodded. The wax softened as he pressed his hand into it, erasing his previous message. Soft, warm, melting under his touch. He wrote again, I need someone who is not afraid to read out the insults I make towards the idiots at court. You have been fired, Damianos.

i guess it technically counts lmfao. i just wanted to show laurent post-trauma still able to make jokes and snipe at his husband so it wasnt all doom and gloom 5. i'm not sure exactly what "hardest to write" here means because like... a lot of these fic have serious gore or otherwise upsetting content, but both emotionally and actually writing wise i find that kind of thing actually pretty easy to write hahahaha. i think i got stuck with the chronology and the decision to make it non-linear made it flow a lot better. for the record writing laurent getting raped and then having his tongue cut out was actually very easy to write, i think i got it out in basically one go. #cancelme the more fucked up and intense the easier i find to nyoom through it 6. my first ever fic in the capri fandom!!!! hehehehhehehe <333333 Level Of Concern (plan B fic) 4.

Before Nicaise could say anything, Laurent spat, “Does he know you had your first heat?”

SURPRISE nic was the one who was pregnant the whole time!!!!!!! 5. this one i banged out REALLY quickly so i cant think of anything here 6. capri omegaverse!!!!!!! i wish there was more of this 🥺🥺🥺 Like Me (what if Auguste was also abused fic) 4. ******CW INCEST MENTION CW ABUSE MENTION******

“Your brother’s stuck his dick in every single member of your family,” Auguste spat out, laughing, crying, and so miserable he thought his heart would stop. His voice rose again, and he felt something burst from him as he screamed for the whole world to hear, “Did you know that? Did you, huh papa? Did he fuck you too?”

dude this line is so fucked up lmfao but i enjoyed writing it so much. actually this entire scene where auguste is having his breakdown was really intense to write and im really pleased with how it came out OR

Auguste grabbed him suddenly, looking up into his grief-stricken face desperately. “Please, Laurent,” he pleaded, voice breaking. “Please. Don’t let him end up like me.”

i felt entirely too clever with this line lmfao. i was like ~ooooohhhhh title drop~ im so dumb 5. i just remember this one like. dragged on for some time. i couldnt figure out what to do with it, how to get everything to coalesce around the final reveal about auguste 6. plot twist!!!!!!! plus auguste angst. i really enjoyed this one, i wrote it after watching the movie Spotlight which is one of my all time faves Softly, Gently 4.

“My King has been overexerting himself again, I presume?” Paschal sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile. “When have I ever done that?” Laurent cocked his head to the side, a wry smile on his face.

hehehehe sassy laurent my beloved <33333 5. honestly im just going to skip this one from now on lskjghmvlksjhglkvsjhdl i just get "stuck" sometimes without rhyme or reason and its usually on boring stuff, but then i cant remember later. the hardest part for me is when my dumb fucking adhd brain wont let me focus on writing but once i overcome that its usually pretty smooth sailing 6. horny omegaverse.................... my beloved............... giving men vaginas for horny reasons my beloved......................... Water of Life (birth fic)

“Do you want to hold him?” Erasmus breathed, eyes glassy. The baby cried, Erasmus bouncing him tenderly in those sunkissed arms. He looked apologetic. “Only for a moment, it’s not quite over yet.” A playful smile danced on Erasmus’ lips, and he brushed away a slick, damp curl from the wailing baby’s head. “A head this big, he certainly takes after Exalted.”

a cute, fun lil line in the sea of horrible angst lmfao ORRRRRR

Erasmus knelt before Damen, before Laurent. He said, “Exalted… Can you command his Highness to push?” Damen froze. “Do you mean…?” Erasmus nodded. “Alpha command.” Damen’s expression crumpled. He said, in a voice that shattered Erasmus’ heart, “I can’t. I can’t do that to him.” Erasmus licked his lips. “Exalted, in this state, he can’t push. His contractions are weaker. He’ll-” “I can’t,” Damen cried, clinging to Laurent’s limp body like a lifeline. “He’d… He’d never forgive me.”

damen is so sweet........ he loves laurent so much...... ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

He stopped at the doorframe, turning to face Laurent with tears in his eyes, and whispered, “How long does it take, your Highness?” Laurent, shocked enough to respond, hissed, “What?” “I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking of it,” Erasmus said, voice thick in his throat, tears burning at his eyes. “How long until it’s over?”

real sad hours if u up click like. i love erasmus and laurent bonding over their shared trauma <33333333333333333333 laurent and erasmus friendship propaganda 24-fucking-7 bay bee!!!!! 6. unironically this is one of my fav fic ive ever written skdljmfhgvlksjdhflmgkvjshldkjfghvmls call the midwife is one of my favorite shows and writing this made me look at birth as something visceral and possibly horrible and traumatic. i wanna write more fucked up birth scenes, SO MANY MORE. ridley scott knew what he was doing Sandalwood (erasmus/kallias my sweet boys i love u so much) 4.

“I do,” Erasmus breathes, ducking his head, flushed as though embarrassed. “In the gardens, the perfume from the orange trees all around us on those summer nights.” Kallias smiles behind him – Erasmus knows his body so intimately he can feel it in how Kallias’ posture changes, though he can’t see the soft turn of his lips. “The scent was so cloying I thought it would drive me mad. It made me want to kiss you senseless.” Erasmus laughs, breathlessly, imagining the warm heat of Kallias’ mouth against his. “Don’t blame that on the orange trees, dear one.”

beloved..................... im weeping.......... 6. these two make me fuckign CRY ON THE REG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY SWEET BOYS YOU DESERVE THE WORLD- Wisps of Smoke******************* (lauguste fic) 4. ***CW EXPLICIT INCEST*** (i mean....... obviously lmfao)

“Call me what I like,” Auguste growled against his ear. “You know what I like.” He did. Laurent did. He knew everything Auguste liked – the slow flick of Laurent’s tongue on the underside of his cock, that tender spot behind his earlobe, the way Laurent’s thighs looked straddled atop him like his horse – and this. “Brother,” Laurent gasped, desperate, “Brother, please, harder. Harder.”

i wanted the incest to be explicitly part of the kink here lmfaoooooo 6. hehehehehehehhehehehhehe lauguste................... i need to write more of u But I Love It (laurent is allergic to latex fic) 4.

“Laurent,” Auguste said, voice high in warning. Laurent braced himself, stiffening visibly. With what seemed to be monumental effort, Auguste continued, “You know, Laurent. I’m proud of you.”

IM A SOFT BITCH OK???????????????? auguste is PROUD of his baby bro for overcoming his sexual trauma and getting that fat dick 6. SLJHVDLMKJDHGVLK PEOPLE FUCKING LOVED THIS FIC i tried to be funny and i think it worked. plus some softe bits thrown in. i also kind of see lots of humor fic where its a no abuse au, but i wanted to write something comedic where the regent still. existed u kno????? anyways hahahahha i dont think i can write anything like this again but im glad y'all liked it Is It Cold In The Water (slice of life fic) 4.

Laurent opens his mouth to say something cheeky, but instead, what comes out is: “Do you think Aimeric had the right idea?” Damen is quiet for so long, gaze serious and framed with his long, dark lashes, that Laurent wonders if he’d spoken aloud at all – and when he’s sure he had, he realizes Damen had remembered Aimeric after all. When he speaks again, the sleep is gone from his voice. “Laurent,” Damen says carefully, as though approaching a spooked horse, “Is something wrong?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 soft,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 6. ruby likes this fic lskjdvhmflgksfjdhmvglkjsdhflkvgmjhlekjfhdvlgskjfhv im a SIMP- The Devil's Got Nothing On Me (AIMERIC FIC LEGGOOOO) 4. there are lots of lil nuggets in here!!!!

Aimeric blinks, and all he can think is, you knew? He says, "I – I just." "I am a patient man," Guion breathes, "I support everyone in my household. Everyone. But Aimeric, you are truly testing my patience. Your mother came to me in tears, begging me to find you. Look at what you did to her! There was nothing I could say until we found you!" "I'm sorry," Aimeric whispers, looking at Loyse, "I'm-" "Look at me," Guion roars.

this conversation was inspired by a very miserable encounter with my boss lmfao. fuck that guy and fuck guion

The regent, blue eyes sparkling - and Aimeric has never thought eyes could look just like a summer sky until now - says to Guion but really to Aimeric, "I was thinking I could take little Aimeric riding tomorrow. Just the two of us." Loyse says, before Guion can speak, voice trembling with relief, "I think that's a wonderful idea, your Highness."

~dramatic irony~ lmfaoooooooooo. WE know of course that this is a bad thing, but it's always fun to have characters make bad choices that they have no idea are bad. i also did this briefly in "Like Me" with auguste's ex wife taking nicaise to church because she was so overwhelmed at home and he offered to help. of course, the regent is always happy to help out. evil evil evil

"-was worried it might be difficult for him." A soft, lilting laugh. The guards had said the regent was in the library, and then there is Guion, right there with him. Aimeric is suddenly angry, not sure why his father is with the regent, who is his and no one else's. The regent responds, "I daresay it's been perfectly easy. It seems you've done most of the work already."

i wanted to highlight the fact that it was aimeric's neglect that lead him to the regent in the first place. hence "youve done most of the work already" - guion by ignoring and neglecting aimeric created the perfect environment for the regent to sweep in and take advantage. like leaving food out btwn 40-140 F is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria LOL. the books touch on that but i wanted to make it explicit

He is so, so ashamed. It's unbearable, the thought of her kind eyes, the way she cried for him, the way he pushed her away. Before he'd left to join the prince's guard, she had taken his hand, kissed it, and said in a voice fragile as glass, "It's been such a long time since I've seen you smile like that," but in that moment he could think only of the regent's letter warm in his pocket.

6. honestly i know ive sounded super conceited this whole time but i kind of tear up whenever i read through the end of the fic lmfao. aimeric is just so fucking depressing as a character and i love that i really got to explore that in this fic. he really didnt have anyone, did he????? he's like a tragic greek character where you just watch him stumbling towards his inevitable end and it hurts the whole time. its even worse on the reread ANYWAYYYYYYY thats it. thanks so much for the ask anon!!!!!!! feel free to send me more!!!

#captive prince fanfic #captive prince #captive prince fanfiction #ask meme #capri fanfic

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factual-fantasy · 4 years

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I WANNA SEE ALL UR UNDERTALE ART AND IDEAS🥺🥺🥺I WOULD LOV TO READ AN EXPLANATION OF UR LAST TWO POSTS

...Aight, bet.

I’m going to have to be slightly vague for a few reasons. For one, because people seemed to like this idea, I have been expanding it more and working through it, this means everything is subject to change. Second is if I go too far into detail it’ll take too long.

So, the story.

This takes place in a Refinedtale like universe. i.e. Chara, Asriel and Gaster are alive and on the surface after a pacifist run. Now, In this story Frisk, Chara and Asriel are friends with Monster kid, abbreviated to MK. Now they somehow end up in this huge cave system, with tunnels and huge rooms. A HUGE plot hole that made me shy away from posting about this story is I have no explanation for how they got there. They just wake up there separated for no reason. They weren’t doing anything strange or magic related, no they were just sleeping in their beds I guess and woke up in this weird place. No Its not supposed to be back in the underground.

So, the kiddos wake up confused, find each other and decide to look around. They come into a big room and find Toriel standing in the middle. Her outlines are white and the rest of her body is black. Her face is also blotched out, just like Papyrus in the first post. They try to approach her, but she attacks them with everything she’s got. Like really, she is trying hard to kill these kids. The kids fight back and keep trying to talk to her. Asriel manages to slip through the battle and pounce on his mom. He’s sobbing and begging her to stop and that she’s scaring him. She instantly stops. Her lines turn black and her body turns green. She becomes really connected to Asriel and becomes his servant all of a sudden.

The idea is that if one of the kids touch one of the blotched monsters, the monsters lines will turn black and they’ll change to what ever color the kids is. Asriel = Green, Chara = Red, Frisk = Blue, and MK = orange.

Toriel loves Azzy now and carries him around. hence this picture,

The kids are a bit nervous because she literally just tried to kill them. Now after that battle they start to look for more people.. and fine Undyne. Undyne was really intense, but MK managed to slip behind everyone and ram his head into Undyne’s leg, knocking her over and changing her silhouette to orange.

They now assume that a lot of other monsters are around here, and all you have to do to get them out of that state is to touch them. And depending on who touches them, their color will change and they will follow that specific kid around.

So they continue searching and find their next opponent, Undyne lends them each a small spear to protect themselves.. and.. its turns out Sans is next.. this one was really upsetting. I have touched a little on Chara’s inner demons in Refinedtale with this post. In this fight with Sans, the battle is really tense and hard, its a sense of bitter sweet nostalgia for Chara. Sans was always the most interesting battle in the timelines wasn’t he? Sans is seemingly the most harmless monster there is! So small, so frail.. But so powerful too. When Chara remembers the battles with him she feels shame, but also excitement! Sans’s battles were the best ones. Its because it was truly personal. Sans knew she did something. This powerful hatred came deep from within his soul. It was terrifying, and wildly exciting!! Being in this place again, where she could try and kill the comedian once more.. was just.. so thrilling! She couldn’t stop herself, she couldn’t hold back! She lost herself in the madness..

..and went way, too far.

Chara stood there for a moment, panting and smiling from ear to ear.. and then it hit her. The excitement was gone.. and in its place was just dread. Shortly after realizing what she just did, she burst into tears seeing Sans’s head scattered all over the floor. Everyone is shocked, a RESET isn’t an option here, Sans has gotta be dead. Chara crumples to the floor and cries. But next thing you know, Sans’s face shards gravitate towards his body on the floor. His face reconstructs itself, he changes to a light red color and Stands up. In the picture, her knee bumps Sans hand, thus counting as being touched. He walks over to Chara and helps her stand up. He’s now protecting her and loving her like Tori is to Azzy. After a long while of recovering and apologizing, they move on to look for more people. This is when they find Papyrus.

The fight with Papyrus was beyond anything they ever expected. It was like they were fighting Sans again.. but Papyrus was so much stronger than Sans, he was so much FASTER than Sans, it was insane! He could focus on every single one of them all at once! There was a post (that I can’t find) explaining how its very likely that Papyrus is stupid strong- he just holds back on you, anyway.. So this fight goes horribly, everyone is getting hurt. Chara tells Sans to do something, try to get Papyrus to stop, make it so one of them can touch him. So Sans teleports above and behind Papyrus’s head. In the picture above, that’s Sans in the middle of teleporting. He wraps his arms around Papyrus’s neck in an attempt to stop him. Making him lose his grip on Asriel.

Papyrus reaches his arm back, snatches Sans out from behind him, holds him up by his shirt and is about to kill him.. when..

Asriel begs “Papyrus stop!! Stop fighting us!!” Papyrus turns green.. the blasters and bones disappear.. then he gently sets Sans down. Not a word is spoken between the two brothers. But you could cut the fear and tension between them with a knife.

They all do their best to recover from this fight and move on. They keep searching and then find Alphys.

This one was hard because no one could get near her. She would sit completely still and the electricity would just come to them. The idea is everyone distracts her while Frisk sneaks behind her and manages to touch her. She turns blue and they move onto the next monster, luckily not much heart ache here.

Then they get to Mettaton, there’s a slightly angsty yet cool part where Mettaton is attacking Frisk and Alphys jumps in to protect her. Its like the Scientist vs its beloved creation you know? Anyway this is where things start to get fuzzy. I haven’t decided who gets Mettaton or how they get him. But lets just say its MK?

Now, I haven’t been able decide if Grillby will be one of the Blotched monsters. You might say that Grillby isn’t a significant character to the Undertale timeline at all, and you would be right. However in Refinedtale he is. Grillby plays a huge part in Sans’s life and to the overall movement in the timeline. And since this is Refinedtale based I figured it would make sense if he was in this.. but for some reason it just feels a bit off.. anyways, if Grillby was to be in this, he would be right after the Mettaton battle. I feel like Asriel would be the one to get him because he has a bit of a special advantage when it comes to fire type magic.

Next would be Gaster. Just like Papyrus, he was stronger than expected. The kids all kind’a saw him as a weak, broken old man that was way past his prime. Well they were completely wrong and apparently they forgot where Sans and Papyrus’s powers came from to begin with. So the battle is rough, the kids are tired and just manage to snag him. I can see Chara being fed up and charging through his attacks in a fit of rage and throwing him to the floor. He turns red and things are okay for a while.. They rest and try to collect themselves.

..they all know who’s next..

The four kids get carried through the cave system to conserve energy while they look for Asgore. They find him and decide that the kids trying to fight him is a bad idea. They don’t know if they can die here and they’re exhausted. Sans has demonstrated that the blotched monsters cant seem to die so.. they form a plan.

Sans, Papyrus, Gaster, Undyne, and Mettaton will all attack and just try to get him pinned on the floor, then one of the kids will run over and boop him on the nose. Simple! In the meantime Toriel (maybe Grillby) and Alphys will stand back to protect the kids. Cool right?..

(warning, Gore reading up ahead)

..Well, there’s a reason why Asgore is the king of monsters you know. It goes horribly. Gaster is pinned to the floor by Asgore’s foot and has his rib cage smashed in. Papyrus is impaled in the chest by his trident and is pinned to the floor, destroying his rib cage as well. Sans is pulling hard on Asgores soul with blue magic, trying desperately to get him on the floor and off his family. He’s blasting him in the shoulder with Blasters and impaling him with large bone spears. Undyne has a spear dug into his other shoulder and is bashing him in the head and yanking on his horns. Mettaton is using guns and shooting him from every exposed angle, he’s using his arms to pull on his knees in an attempt to get them to buckle beneath him..

...but he just wont go down.. no matter how hard they try, its not working..

Asgore throws Undyne off of him and smashes her head against the floor, causing it to crumple and shatter. Sans is mercilessly yanked by the arm and thrown hard against the cave walls, causing him to break in every area and the kids to shriek and cry. He kicks Gaster aside and shakes Papyrus off of his trident. He then uses the trident to slash at Mettatons head so hard his head comes flying off.

(Gore reading over)

The terror sets in as Asgore makes his way over to the crying kids. Toriel is literally on fire, Alphys is sparking, (maybe Grillby’s flames are roaring) they’re both(/all) ready to fight. The 5 blotched monsters on the ground slowly regenerate, but they’re not doing it fast enough.

As he steps closer and the crying gets louder, Asriel looks desperately for a way out. He then notices Chara is gone. And Sans has vanished from his place on the floor. Before Asgore can make his move, Chara and Sans drop down from above him and land on his shoulders, Sans’s face hadn’t even reconstructed yet, he didn’t grab on to Asgore and simply slid down on his cloak and collapsed on the floor. Chara gripped tightly to Asgore’s neck and shrieked, “STOP!!”

..He turned red, put down his trident and stopped.

As to what comes after and why this all happened? I don’t know. I imagined the four kids wake up in their beds the next morning and remember all of this, but the blotched monsters don’t. I also thought this could’ve taken place during a picnic. The kids disappear for about 10-20 minutes and show back up running from the forest crying and wounded. I also thought that everyone wakes up on the forest floor and only the kids remember, and everyone else is just confused on how they got there.

Haven’t decided on a beginning or an ending. But that’s pretty much the story in as much detail as I’ve built so far. :} I hope you enjoyed reading this, it came out longer than I intended, but that’s alright I think. ,,^ ^,,

#undertale #refinedtale #talks about gore

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katsukikitten · 4 years

Text

Going down?

NSFW BBS

To say you were the luckiest and yet most unlucky person in the world would be an understatement.

You were a living, breathing contradiction considering the quirk you have and where you've ended up.

Most people are envious, even jealous of the position you have.

A secretary to both of the top two number one heroes!

You were lucky, your little meek self landed the spot wholly by accident.

On a train ride bumping into the Director of the agency by mere fucking chance, agitating your already hyper active quirk.

For a moment time slows, you do not have much time to inform him of what is happening.

The train doors will be shutting soon, sealing his fate and losing out on something big.

Detrimental to the company even.

"Oh um, excuse me sir." You stammer, lowly enough that he does not hear you, "Sir?"

You breathe in deeply trying once more as his fingers fly across the lit glass in his hands.

"S...sir?" He is too distracted by whomever is on the other side to notice you.

In your mind's eye you see the train director reaching for the button for the doors. Anxiety rips through your body only to be out won by your fear.

Fear of small mistakes leading to much bigger disasters.

"SIR! YOU'RE ON THE TRAIN HOME! YOU NEED TO BE ON TRAIN D OR YOU'LL MISS THE MEETING YOU'VE FORGOTTEN!" You huff, hands shaking as the man stares down at you with a mix of horror and awe.

All before he grips onto your wrist dragging you along with him.

And that's how you became secretary to Midoriya Izuku and Bakugou Katsuki.

Better known as Deku and Ground Zero.

One made your life heavenly, touching them, seeing them and the details of their work and interpersonal lives was easy. The fact that you had a crush on them made it even better.

While the other, well the other made your life a living hell. Considered you too meek and seemed to hate your guts with a burning intensity that rivaled the heated gaze in his eyes.

Again you were the luckiest and yet most unlucky person alive.

You stare at the screen as your quirk has you hyper fixated on the janitor's next few hours of possible futures and unnecessary details of his life all because he brushed your fingers while passing you something you've dropped.

"Y/N." Deku calls softly and you cannot hear him, "Y/N."

He steps towards your desk just outside of the two opposing offices, leaning closer to you.

"Y/N." It comes out like liquid honey, and your gut flutters. You flush bright red as you blink furiously.

"I.. I'm sorry. Oh! Izuku-sama you need to be leaving in the next five minutes or you'll be late for your..." You struggle when you see it.

The beautiful woman with short chesnut hair sitting in a chair at an upscale restaurant in a deep pink dress.

Showing off her curves and her breasts in a tasteful manner.

Your heart sinks to your stomach like a brick, weighing heavy as you realize what is happening and suddenly you are crushed

The word date cannot escape your lips so you clear your throat.

"Your day is free tomorrow until 4pm and nothing extra will come up." You add instead and he nods.

"Thank you Y/N." He smiles sweetly before beginning to leave, "Don't stay too late okay?"

"Oh and um Izuku-sama...."

"Yes?" He stops turning back to face you. He did not mind you looking into his personal life.

Or at least never said anything agaisnt it.

"Please be sure to charge your phone on the way there. Other wise it will die and you won't be able to capture a special moment." You say softly, unable to keep eye contact with those shining emeralds.

It hurt too much to.

You could have kept it to yourself, or forced yourself not to look like you have to do with thathot head but...but if his phone would have died..

He would be missing the picture that would lead to them dating.

"Thanks Y/N." He says smiling so brightly before turning on his heel.

All the while you try to forget about the kiss they share after their failed selfie.

He leaves without another word and you stare after him longingly.

That is before your quirk pulls you to the only other body on the floor.

He'll be running out of coffee soon and he will be angry, distracted even to have to leave his desk when he is finally making some progress on his paper work.

The coffee pot in the break room is finishing up at the perfect time thanks to the director's secretary. You pull out Bakugou's second favorite mug from your desk and stand.

Before stopping as you relive a memory.

"Quit using your quirk to spy on me."

His snarl so dark and upsetting that you could no longer attend the hero ceremony.

You begin to pack your things instead. Bakugou won't be in a good mood for the rest of the evening on top of that nothing is happening and even if something was he wouldn't want your help anyway.

You hesitate, only for a moment, maybe he would want that cup of coffee. You stare at the mug as if it would have answers but it would never know.

Just like you wouldn't, unless you touched him.

And he would never allow that.

So you shrug your purse higher on your shoulder before heading to the elevator.

Your press the button and count loudly in your head to help calm your nerves.

Inanimate objects are almost as difficult as people if you don't touch the right part of them.

You know at some point this thing is going to break down and get stuck between floors.

You just don't know when.

Why not take the stairs?

Well the stairs had a worse outcome.

"It's only possibilities Maybe futures."

You try to remind yourself.

What you dont remind yourself of is your 95% accuracy rate.

The elevator dings pulling you to the here and now.

You step into the shiny death trap with smooth tiles and walls that reflect your fearful face.

Bland music takes up the space in the background as your eyes fly over the seemingly endless buttons.

You hit G and the elevator dings again before shuttering as the doors begin to close.

They never get the chance to close, instead a toned forearm is hit by the two sheets of steel before the safety feature forces the doors back open.

You freeze like a mouse caught by two shining eyes in the dark.

Burning red eyes.

"Tch." He sucks his teeth as he steps in, standing to the far side of the elevator.

You look at him expectedly, waiting for an answer on the floor he needs and when none is given you assume he is leaving for the day too.

The elevator begins its descent to the safety of the garage.

But not quickly enough.

Numbers flash on a panel with an annoying ding that inturpts the flat music, your eyes stare at the white digits watching them shrink.

As you feel yourself shrink as you always do beneath that gaze. The details of his life creep in first and you try your best to focus on something else.

Izuku comes to mind and with it, wonder on how he date is going, your heart pulls harshly on the muscles in your chest.

The failed selfie is happening right now and they should be kissing soon.

You hold onto your purse tighter and the digits read 22.

Suddenly the descending box of steel groans before jerking causing you to lose your balance.

You begin to fall towards the middle of the elevator, of course you couldn't have fallen towards the damn railings less than three inches from you.

You just had to fall to be met face first with cold harsh tile. You squeeze your eyes shut for impact but mostly so you cannot read the disappointment in the ash blonde's face.

But the cold slap never comes, instead a warm, almost comforting touch holds you. Callused hands wrapped around your bare shoulders as they right you to your feet.

The possible futures flood in along with the details of his last 24 hours.

First comes the past, he smells of perfume, floral with hints of amber, lipstick stains on his throat and collar. Before anger ignites in your belly, half your own from anyone "marking" Bakugou and the other half is his. Katsuki yells at this mystery woman, he spies a text from another man on her phone. The present begins to overwrite the past his phone is sitting in his office on his desk. He has unintentionally forgotten it, leading you to remember that yours is still locked in your top drawer.

Lastly comes the future, your breath begins to hitch as it unfolds, and your premonition from when you first started almost a year ago is finally coming true.

"THE ELEVATOR IS GOING TO STOP!" You grip onto strong forearms as you scream. Nails biting into toned flesh as tears begin to prick your eyes.

"Wha..what?" Is all Bakugou gets out before the machine comes to a grinding halt.

Fear seizes your very bones while rage grips the blonde's.

"What the fuck?!" He snarls, "Did you know this was going to happen the whole fucking time? You let me on here anyway?"

"N..no." Fat tears begin to drip down reddened cheeks, "It was just because we touched."

His fingers squeeze tighter on your shoulders as he watches the tears cascade down. You see a few more seconds into the future before he let's go.

"Fuck." He hisses. A series of explosions erupt busting out one of the lights and something in the corner.

"P...please be careful, you've destroyed the camera. I..its close to the electrical panel." You speak to the floor loudly and he turns his ire onto you

"Be careful?! You're the seer why didnt you tell anyone about the elevator? Or tell me not to get on?" He invades tour space spiking your panic. His agitation over the situation is amplified as it is mixed with a conflicting feeling that has pulled has his gut for majority of this year.

"BECAUSE YOU WONT ALLOW ME TO SEE YOU!" You huff and as quickly as that rage came it melts away. Leaving you a mess of impossibly fatter and bigger tears.

You bend over slightly, losing your breath to panic as you gasp for air.

Bakugou damns himself as he looks over you.

He always seems to make you uneasy or upset, he could live with those emotions considering that's how most people felt around him.

But to watch you cry has knives plunging into his Godly abs.

"Oi..." He says softly and when you do not move he comes closer.

"Oi." He tries again, righting you once more as he rubs a deadly hand on your shoulder.

His skin is electrifying, sending a shudder through your body that you must suppress. He's close enough that you can smell the sweet smell of burnt sugar that seems to cling to his skin. You dare meet his heated gaze from beneath long lashes only to be surprised.

His eyes are far from carrying the weight from annoyance or anger as you thought them to be.

No they hold something else for once.

Concern.

You swallow thickly as your chin is lifted before a padded thumb swipes at a tear.

Your breathing hitches harshly.

"No need to cry okay. I'm sorry I yelled that was an asshole thing to do." His other hand continues its soothing cirlce, "Why don't you take a deep breath with me?"

He breathes in deeply through his nose, eyes expecting you to mimic and you do.

He holds it for just a moment before letting his diaphragm push the air naturally from his mouth.

After a few times your head feels a bit clearer and Bakugou takes notice as your cheeks are no longer flush.

"Now what will be easier to see my future or the elevators?" He asks softly and his manner throws you off.

You had heard rumors of his cruelty when it came to inconvenience, some dating back to before he was a pro.

Not to mention you had witnessed it first hand, so to see those normally hash scarlet red eyes softened for you has your stomach doing flips.

"Ummm..." You gulp, fearful to answer but by lying will that make it worse.

After a few brief seconds you choose to tell the truth with a heavy heart, wholly expecting a violent reaction.

"You..." A breath of a word as Bakugou purses his lips for a fraction of a second.

He liked his privacy bit not being stuck in this tin can would be worth violating it.

"Alright. Then see our way out of here little Oracle." You blush from his nonchalant tone and the use of the nickname.

Little did he know you had once picked that out to be your hero name.

But dreams die as we get older.

Especially if one doesn't feed them.

You look into the future a few minutes, hoping you'll see whatever will lead you to freedom.

But you see something else instead, it pulls your stomach lower heating your core a bit.

The blood rushes to your face as Bakugou scrunches his own.

"I..." You are suddenly hyper aware of the proximity the two of you share.

Of his warm hand resting on your bare shoulder, of the closeness of his face and the gentle touch of his fingers. He gives a look as if to say go on, you look down as you speak again.

"B..Bakugou-sama, I think my quirk might be acting up. I may be seeing the implausible possibility..." Eyes squeezed shut as you expect an explosion.

But it never comes.

"What do you mean? I've heard your information is always good, little Oracle." His thumb swipes at another stray tear, "What did you see?"

Cheeks burn impossibly hotter as you look again only to receive the same result.

Truly truly implausible.

He tilts your face to his and his gaze is too much.

"I...ummm....we....yo..you kiss me." You bite your lip as you speak and the action fills Bakugou with desire, more than he's ever possessed for you before.

And always more than what he's felt for another woman.

You being able to see some of that no matter how slim the chances of him acting on the feeling is the MAIN reason he actively "hated" and avoided you.

But to feel your smooth skin beneath his rough palms, to smell your sweet mango perfume and to hear your adorable voice fill up the space that only posses the two of you becomes too much.

Too quickly.

Katsuki pushes you against the wall, the railing bites into your back but it goes unnoticed as your eyes flutter.

Dominat tongue swirling around your own has your core molten.

Had you like Bakugou?

Had you ever been attracted to him?

The answer was yes and had always been yes. You just tried to make it easier on yourself, hoping that devloping a crush on kind Deku would eventually push your feelings for the hot head to the background.

It worked. But only if the emerald haired man was around.

When he wasn't your mind always floated to the hot head.

He rips the buttons from your blouse and you gasp with both pleasure and concern.

He reads you like a book as he pulls the fabric open to look at you in all your glory, even pulling the scratched white fabric from your black skirt.

"You said I took out the camera right?" He drinks you in before his mouth finds a sweet spot on your throat, "Don't worry I'll give you my jacket when I'm through with you, my little Oracle."

You swoon, knees becoming weak from such little contact. His mouth works wonders as he un hooks your bra, pulling it and your shirt from your chest. Greedily lapping at your perked nipples. A moan escapes you then, further encouraging his advancement to which you wouldn't dream oppose.

Not with how good you feel now. Soon his hands find your hips as he crushes his lips to yours, pulling the bottom of your skirt up over your thick thighs and ass before letting it stay at your natural waist.

"Are you wet for me?" He asks by way of permission.

To which you surprise both of yall with your answer.

"Go and find out."

Katsuki gives you a deadly smile as your face deepens in hue. His fingers snake slowly down your chest, teasing when he gets close to the hem before sliding over your laced underwear.

You watch as his eyes flutter slightly before a groan escapes his kissable lips, you clench at the sound.

"You're soaking through your underwear." He voice drips with desire by your ear, "Does the director know how naughty you are?"

He leaves a trail of kisses before biting down on your neck, fingers still relishing the feeling of soaked fabric.

"Does he know that you're wet for one of your bosses?" He begins pressing against your throbbing button through the thin fabric. You buck your hips agaisnt his touch and moan when he chuckles darkly.

"I didn't hear an answer, baby girl." Your mouth moves without thought as he presses harder.

"N..no. No one knows."

"And who are you wet for?" His other hand is preoccupied with your breasts. Tweaking the nipples pushing you closer to a surprisingly close edge. His strong hand moves away from your needy nipple to find your throat.

He applies the right amount of pressure that your breathing becomes labored.

"Y..you Bakugou-sama!" You squirm, wanting, needing to be touched by the man before you.

"That's my good girl." He slips his fingers past your underwear finding the swollen bud he was teasing, swirling two fingers as his palm presses down on your mound.

You're moaning loudly, uncaring if anyone will hear as his fingers work you over like magic. His grip tightening just enough as you get closer and closer.

Finally your vision blurs in your peripheral before his husky voice is back at your ear.

"Just one more thing, do you see yourself getting fucked little oracle?"

You do not need to look into the future to answer

"Yes...yes Bakugou-sama." With a deadly smirk he sends you over the edge, not letting up as your crescendo once, twice, three times from his fingers alone. You see stars as your body convulses beneath his touch, voice caught in your throat as you shudder.

Your knees become weak as he slowly eases away after teasing at a hint that a fourth time could have been coaxed from you.

He holds you steady kissing you sweetly on the lips. He gives you a moment as you lean on him before you're flipped around.

You stare at your reflection. Hair disheveled, falling from its normally tight bun, breasts exposed as you're bent over and lips tinted with the best of red hues.

Red eyes admire you as he unbuckles his pants.

"You're such a gorgeous mess. And who are you a mess for?" He asks, placing your hands onto the railing.

"Y..you." Breath fogs your slightly distorted reflection and he smiles.

"God damn right." He purrs in your ear, pressing himself against you and you moan, "Hold on tight, it's going to be a bumpy ride."

You wiggle your hips, pressing your ass as close to him as you can before he grabs onto you with a bruising grip.

He eases himself in slowly, keeping you from pushing agaisnt him until he's filled you completely. He stays still for a moment and the feeling of fullness alome has you squirming, begging for more.

"Pl..please Bakugou-sama. Please..." He grabs a fist full of your hair, pulling your face to meet his reflection.

"Please what?" He grins devilishly and you cannot fathom how he holds back so well. You feel him twitch within you, your eyes roll for a moment before you answer him.

"Please just fuck me and fill me. Please please Bakugou-sama." You cry out trying your best to rock against him, hoping his one hand would not be enough to stop any friction from happening.

But some how it is.

"Now be a good seer and watch how well you take my cock baby girl." He purrs, pulling harder on your hair until you meet your gaze.

He begins to pound into you, hard and fast. The sound of your meeting bodies echoes off the four walls and for once you cannot see anything.

Because you cannot focus on anything aside from the feeling of aggressive thrusts and the ash blonde reflection. He grunts as he looks you over. Your skirt makes your ass seem bigger than what it is and you're so wet you make a delectable sound with each withdraw not to mention your thighs are beginning to dew.

The sensation, sound, and sight of you being so pleased and submissive for him begins to make Bakugou spiral.

And it shows with each thrust as it gets harder, faster, and sloppier.

He fucks you with enough force that the metal box begins to rock.

Your eyes flutter as you begin to climb again, feeling him getting closer and closer himself before he hits you just right as he groans out a delightful "fuck"

You scream, gripping onto him in pulses before he loses himself. Burying himself deep within you with a satisfied growl.

You both still for a moment before he withdrawals. His seed spills from you making him want to fuck you again.

But instead he moves your underwear back into place, smooths your skirt back down your hips and ass before pulling up his own pants.

He turns you around, peppering your dazed face with kisses before he sheds his jacket and places it on you.

Zipping it up to your throat. He pulls you into him and you note the heavy smell of his caramel sweat. You kiss his neck tenderly causing a rumble to emit from him.

"Are you okay little one?" He asks softly, "Was I too rough? Too much?"

"No...perfect." You snuggle into him and he holds you for a moment. Your nose brushes against his exposed throat before you see it.

"Oh!" You push away from him enough to see his face before you blush deeply.

The elevator whirls back to life, the ding of floors pulls you back into reality and for a moment you think it a dream.

You expect him to shove you away now that he is done, especially so since that the moment of an almost claustrophobic disaster no longer hands over your heads.

But the look of hated annoyance does not return to his eyes as he gazes down at you.

If anything he looks at you softly expectant of an answer before it dawns on him.

"Oh." He says with a deadly smirk, "Was fucking the only way to fix it?"

You laugh nervously before admitting.

"I never looked past that kiss. I.."

He kisses you softly again before a final ding rings out and the two of you are met with the cool summer air of the parking garage.

"Hmmm I think I saw something." He smirks and you look puzzled, the world only slowly beginning to beg for your attention.

"W..what did you see Bakugou-sama?" You ask timidly as he pulls you out of the sinful box. Guiding you to his black motorcycle. You stop to blink over the bike, trying hard to see whatever he could be alluding to without allowing yourself his future out of habit.

"I see you calling me Katuski over dinner." He smiles as he places his only helmet on your head before his powerful leg swings over the body of the bike.

You stare down dumbfounded, dazed over everything that has happened in the last hour and a half.

When you do not move he pets the seat behind him.

"Coming to make my prediction true little oracle?" You nod swiftly pulling up your skirt enough to straddle the bike. You delicately wrap your arms around a muscled torso.

"Hold on tight." He says, squeezing your hand before the bike roars to life, "Its going to be a bumpy ride."

#bakugou smut #bakugo smut #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha smut #bnha bakugou #bnha katsuki #bnha kacchan #bnha au #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #mha bakugou #katuski bakugou #bakugou fluff

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ffxiv-ariavitali · 4 years

Text

HC: The Eighth Umbral Calamity

Because apparently ya’ll wanna cry LOL

Shadowbringer spoilers | Alternate universe: If G’raha Tia and the Ironworks did not do research on the Crystal Tower and allowed the Eighth Umbral Calamity to run its course

special thanks to @haylin-chan , @sage-just-loves-elves and @windup-dragoon for enabling me like this. further thank you to everyone that liked the cursed post

i’ll be collecting my jars of tears now.

AO3 ver.

❅ ❅ ❅

Premise: With the aid of you, the Warrior of Light, the Garleans had been pushed back, line by line, across accursed Ghimlyt Dark to the point where it was deemed that the Resistance would be able to fully wrestle control and claim victory by the turn of the season. As a result, the ally nations within the Eorzean and Far Eastern Alliance withdrew from the battlefield in order to return to their nation-state and to shore up defenses for any future hostilities that the Garlean Empire would retaliate with.

However, the nation leaders forgot the most important—and more arguably most dangerous—aspect of mortal kind: their irrational unpredictability and desperation when they are backed up too far into the corner. By this logic did the Empire rain hell on the battlefield with the toxic gas, its potency inexplicably high and spared no one along the way…

...Not even you, Warrior of Light. For when you had heard that your comrades were falling by the tens, by the hundreds, you had rushed to the front line as quickly as you could. You took precautions, your entire order did, that you thought would serve as defense against the poison, but it did not work.

It did not work.

❅ ❅ ❅

[Aymeric]

The Black Rose spared no one on the front. It had been but a fortnight since he had returned to Ishgard when he received the news that the toxic gas had been let loose on the field and he couldn’t help the cold churning within his gut that something was going terribly, terribly wrong.

It was for this reason that he often visited Saint Reymanaud’s Cathedral. He prayed and he prayed to blessed Halone to show mercy, to offer Her guidance and protection in this most delicate of times. War often brought with it bloodshed of immeasurable quantities and faith in the divine had never been higher. Aymeric knew this. He knew this.

In the end, his prayers were not answered for the sight of you utterly destroyed him.

They brought your body back from the warzone and as you lay on the cold metal table, he swore that you were just asleep. Despite the wails of utter mortification, of pain and anger, from the Fortemps family—predominantly that of Lord Edmont, for the pain of losing yet another child of his family must be shattering him from within—he wanted to shake you awake because you appeared just as you always do when you would lie with him together in bed, so peaceful and so serene.

Yet, when he touched you—a palm against your cheek in the gentlest of manners, as if you were but a porcelain doll ready to fragment and shatter at any given moment—you were cold as ice.

Aymeric has never felt so empty, so broken, as if a dragon’s talon was impaling him over and over again without cease. The frustration within him broiled as if he was thrown into a blazing inferno for a sin he had not committed. In this entire ordeal, the same thoughts ring over and over again in his mind:

Why has the Fury forsaken us? Have we not suffered enough? Why did you go alone?

Why was I not there with you?

In his frustration, and after a few punches to the wall, Aymeric takes up his sword once more and gives the order for a return march to the front. If he was correct in his thinking, the Alliance would be requesting reinforcements anyway and he could argue that he was taking the initiative. Though, all he wanted was revenge. He was going to have. It.

Even if he has to die trying.

[Estinien]

Estinien swore that he wasn’t going to reveal himself on the front lines. The dragoon swore that he was only going to remain in the shadows, plucking off the war machina that he knew would be aiming for your blind spot, as you fought and fought and fought your way through your aches and exhaustion to reclaim the line that was regained by the Garleans.

In fact, he figured that it was only a matter of time, for you have allowed the returning Alliance members to push farther than they could have hoped for. In a way, it was almost as if the rumors of the soldiers dropping like flies was exaggerated overmuch, as rumors are wont to do in any given situation. So why?

Why did he have such a heavy sense of foreboding?

His instincts flared then, drawing him to attention, for there was a distinct change in the aether swirling about him emanating from the Garlean side. It was like a prickle, small like a leech, but he couldn’t shake it off. Soon enough, it was as if he was drowning on the inside the more he breathed in the scent of smoke and flame...smoke and flame…

When Estinien understood what was occurring, his head snapped towards where you were standing. With the amount of exertion you were displaying, the constant panting and pauses to catch your breath, you were in the most danger.

And his sense of foreboding proved true when you had collapsed to your knees on the battlefield.

Adrenaline pulsated within the dragoon’s blood, but even at his distance, he was growing weak. Darkness started spotting his eyes and he was growing dizzy, fatigued, exhausted.

Not like this, not like this!

The man mustered all his strength to vault into the air. It was shaky, even through his addled mind he knew this, but you were in danger. You were in danger. He won’t let you be in danger…!

A part of him registered landing by your side, scooping you up within his arms just before you were about to get hit by a magitek ray, and jumping into the air once more. However, he had used up all his energy just reaching you and the distance he wanted to put between you and the danger was nowhere near enough.

In the end, he had collapsed in some unseen corner of the battlefield close to Resistance Headquarters, with you on his lap and within his arms. At this point, even the inner dragon within was growing tame, growing lax, and it was then he knew that it was too late.

So, he pressed a kiss on your forehead, only noticing now that you were barely awake and crying in front of him and this caused him to shed tears of his own.

“Est...in...I…” you attempted. “Shh…” he whispered back meekly, holding you close as he felt himself fading away all the same. “I...love...sor-” “No…”

No. I am sorry. I love you.

I will not let you go alone.

[Haurchefant]

(AU where he’s still alive for the sake of this cursed post)

It was always tradition that the eldest son was to be the one selected to go into battle when there is a need for it. That being said, the role of the youngest son was to ensure that support was given where needed, but to focus predominantly on shoring up the defense on the home front. Haurchefant being the middle son, was duty-bound to serve on the front lines with Artoirel and he couldn’t be happier for the opportunity.

Or, at least, he thought he couldn’t be happier.

When the Alliance had deemed it acceptable to leave the defense to the Resistance, allowing token forces to stay within headquarters to maintain an efficient communications network in case things were to go south, he attempted negotiating with the lord commander for him to stay. He wouldn’t admit that it was no more than an excuse to ensure he could always have your back during a fight and was no more surprised when Aymeric told him no with an amused smile on his face.

Before he left, he approached you for a temporary farewell. He will pray for your success, will pray for good fortune to you so that you may bring freedom to all of Eorzea in the face of the ones that wish to lock them all away like rabid dogs. After all, you had brought his people solace after a thousand-year-long war and he has no doubt that you would be able to do the same here.

Little did he know that the smile that you had given then and the words of reassurance you had spoken was to be the last he would have of you.

The next time you appeared before him, he was staring at your corpse on top of a metal table. His eyes were wide with disbelief, a part of him dying, detaching and breaking away from inside of him as a result. Even at the behest of his father, who urged him that it was alright to openly weep for the loss, he left the room to be on his lonesome, somehow wandering outside in the process.

How could I have been so foolish? How could I not have known? How could this possibly happen?

...Why did I choose to follow propriety and not kiss you?

Somehow, in his dark musings, Haurchefant ended up walking to his encampment and from the corner of his eye, he saw the entrance to the intercessory. The Falling Snows. The place that he had welcomed you to use when you sought his help.

He entered the hall and he collapsed to his knees almost immediately. All alone, he unravels his burdens, his pains and woes, along with punching the stone cold floors and walls, tossing anything and everything that he could in a fit of rage that he is unable to break away from. It took half a dozen knights to restrain him when he tried going after you searching for Shiva, and it took half a dozen more with the help of an anesthetic to force him to stop hurting himself now.

You needed me, he thought amidst the darkness. You needed me...and I left you all alone.

[Thancred]

As planned, Thancred had taken a group of the most highly skilled Far Eastern operatives in order to carry out the subterfuge plan that he so easily proposed in front of the Alliance leaders. When you had approached him afterwards, urging him to be careful, he smiled and held you close.

“Worry not, I have done this before. I will ensure that I come back to you.”

All of the Scions knew protocol. Those participating in the espionage aspect of their order are issued a special set of linkpearl that are able to tap into multiple different frequencies if they knew the proper input code. With this, they are able to listen in to radio messages sent between different sectors of Garlemald’s imperial army…as well as receive coded messages from their allies safely and without any fear of being eavesdropped.

Then, one day and completely out of the usual norm, he had received a message from home base.

“BEACON. ROSE. GONE.”

Thancred knew that the mention of ‘beacon’ is a reference to you. While you may not know it, the rest of the order had decided this codename to reference you during missions because that’s what you were: a beacon of hope in the darkest times, lit up the brightest for those that can yet be saved.

‘Rose’ could only mean one thing, the Black Rose that had been brought to light thanks to Alphinaud’s efforts elsewhere on Garlean territory. The deadly poison was so potent that it was enough to utterly annihilate a group of insurgents seeking to revolt against the Empire. If anyone were to so much breathe it in, then-

‘Gone.’

Thancred’s heart almost gave way when he pieced the puzzle together. At this point, the mission was more or less complete as rumors of the puppet prince was beginning to gain traction, so he sent the order that the infiltrators remain on standby to ensure the fire was still burning as he returned.

Faster. Faster. Faster!

What greeted him upon his return to Seventh Heaven was what he didn’t wish for. Something that he couldn’t have ever imagined.

Your body was laid out on one of the beds in the medical wing, the other Scions—including Alphinaud—surrounding you in a circle. The twins were openly weeping, Alisaie being held in her brother’s arms. Y’shtola couldn’t bear to look, choosing to stand in the corner with Krile and Urianger’s consolations because it was so, so wrong to gaze upon your features without the glitter of your aether flowing from you.

“This has to be some sort of joke…” Thancred began as he approached your bedside.

He called your name and when you didn’t respond, he reached out to hold your hand and found it eerily cold, like the Coerthan winter that you had escaped to after the bloody banquet. After he had failed Minfilia.

The thought tore him apart as he reached out to collect your body in his arms. This time, he allowed himself to cry in front of the others. He allowed himself this weakness that he forbade himself from feeling upon learning that Minfilia was gone. As he held you, his body was shaking, racking with sobs that was so painful to watch because of the fact that he would be the last one to show any emotion asides from frustration during a mission.

“I failed...I failed yet again...to save what I hold dear…”

With his words, the others couldn’t hold it in anymore. Their beacon of hope was lost.

You weren’t coming back.

[Hien]

He was the one that urged Yugiri to remain in Eorzea to provide continuous aid to the Alliance granted the number of stationed shinobi in the region. Upon learning the Scions’ plan to infiltrate into Garlean territory, Hien was rather proud of his nation’s immediate ability to contribute in the war effort, in the name of freedom that you and yours had provided to his country.

When he received the news that the leftover defense of the line at Ghimlyt Dark was to be left to the Resistance, when Yugiri had returned to the Kienkan in order to personally deliver the message, he thought finally. Finally, his brothers and sisters have the upper hand and will no longer have to live in fear of those monsters that had taken so much from them for their delusional causes.

Oh, how cruel the kami must be.

You had been sending him letters the entire time. On the surface, it was to keep him updated on the war but he mostly wanted to make sure that you weren’t pushing yourself overmuch in a land where he isn’t able to easily reach. He would often tease in his letters that, should the next time you come to visit be of leisure, he will no longer be tempted to release you from his embrace once more. He wanted to hold you, he wanted to touch you, he wanted you to be safe.

Then, your letters stopped coming.

One day, two days, three days, ten, there was radio silence even from the Alliance and he was half tempted to send a runner to your homeland to bear word on what may be going on. The only thing that stopped him then was Lyse coming on her own volition, bearing the message herself.

“Hien, I’m sorry…” the woman began and there was a ringing growing louder in the Doman lord’s ears. “Lyse, do not—” “Hien, the Warrior—” “—I implore you, please stop—” “—because of Black Rose—” “LYSE!”

Even as Hien stood to his feet, shouting the woman’s name from the top of his lungs with such disrespect in front of his ministers, Lyse continued eyeing him patiently. Painfully. For the words that were to escape her lips were unkind, unfair, and it makes him wonder what exactly the kami have planned for their people.

“...Hien, they are gone,” Lyse says softly, brokenly, with as much pain that he must have been feeling since she had worked with you for the majority of your journey as the Warrior of Light.

It only took but a moment for him to decide that he was going to return to Eorzea in the company of a contingent of soldiers. After all, if Lyse had decided to make a personal visit asides from passing the message along—which could have been done by any other Scion—then that meant that something had gone terribly wrong.

Prior to boarding the ship sailing for your homeland, Hien brings the letters that you had sent him all this time. In his private quarters, he reads them, over and over again. He could still hear your voice saying the words on the paper in his mind. Even as he spilled tears as he read the words, he could still hear you.

He wishes that he could hear your voice again.

#ffxiv headcanons #ffxiv writing #aymeric de borel #estinien wyrmblood #haurchefant greystone #thancred waters #hien rijin #tumblr requests #ANGST #LIKE SO MUCH ANGST #I'M SORRY #also i didn't do g'raha because i'm super emotional over 5.3 #plus he's sleeping let him sleep #uwu

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spacemilkies · 4 years

Text

gateau→ ; part i of iii

pairing: cal kestis x reader

word count: 2.5k+

summary: “So you had a Jedi as a roommate … that wont be a problem in the future or anything.”

a/n: a bunch of new things to get me writing. all written at some ungoldly hour. this will probably be a three part series. something short and simple, based off the prologue with some background. hey, no song fic for once. i spent all day in this fandom. i feel ready. put me in coach.

_______

“C’mon just this once, please.”

“Oh ho, no no. This is definitely not the first time.”

There was never a good reason for your roommate to visit you on the job. Not only were you stationed on opposite side of the station, you differing positions also lessened the opportunity for you to meet up without explicit reason.

He was a rigger and you were a builder, simple as that.

You refrained from lifting your mask, maintaining a sense of distance from the conversation as you continued to weld the two pieces of metal together. Maybe if you did your job hard enough he would eventually give up out of respect of your workload….

Who were you kidding.

A fiery shock of red hair crouched down next to you, apparently uncaring for the wayward sparks emitting from your torch. It was only when he dared to lean closer that you reluctantly cut the power out of concern for basic occupational safety.

Flipping the hood of your mask, you gave him your sharpest glare to which he combatted easily with a killer smile. If only it was as effective on his conquests as he seemed to think the same applies to you.

“You’re all just going to melt it down any.”

Any metals and ores that made it up here were better than the average scraps found in the lower sectors and certainly worth a pretty sum of credits. It was your roommate's favorite way to exploit your job and threaten your only means of survival in the same breath.

Darting your gaze around, you found that for once your colleges were rather forgiving of personal space. Though it didn’t mean that your supervisors wouldn’t have watchful eyes on your every move. Hence why these daring favors tended to have more impact than meaningless valve.

You weren’t agreeing. Definitely were not going to get drawn into to those pleading baby blues. You were just curious.

“And what exactly do two upstanding individuals as yourselves need with my fine metals?”

Cal’s smirk was shallow but no where lacking in its killer properties,” I’d bend your fine metals anyway.”

With a huff, you nudged him away with your shoulder. Practice allowing you to ignore the faint flush it brought to your cheeks.

“You’re wasting time, Cal.”

“Just something nice. I’ll pay you back.”

You were not going to fall for it Totally, explicitly would not lose resolve on your promise to not give in like last time. You were strong and resilient and Cal was a big boy with his own means of survival and-

“I swear to all above, Cal if you-”

The force of his lips against your cheek nearly knocked you over and you were left momentarily stunned as nimble fingers searched knowingly against your body. Before you knew it, he was drawing away, your access card in hand.

You should be happy with how quickly he scrambled to his feet, prepared for a hasty departure. It wouldn’t be long before your superiors began making their rounds and the last thing they wanted to see was a scrapper hunting around their stores.

Gesturing with two fingers against his temple, Cal waved off before he disappeared around the corner.

“Why are you not working? Your pay is based on your progress, not your time.”

Swallowing down a retort, you merely smiled shallowly in response to the haughty order as you tugged back down your face mask, Cal’s phantom touch still lingering against your form.

“Of course, sir.”

_______

It should be said that Cal wasn’t a terrible roommate. In fact, when he first responded to your advertisement you had a feeling that he would actually be a helpful one.

That was a lie.

You knew that he would be a cute one. Someone that you would have to try /really hard to keep your hands off of. Fortunately for you, at the beginning he felt more like a brother than a bachelor. His boyish habits cutting into some of his charm.

It didn’t take much longer than that before the two of you fell into a rhythm of sorts.

Having another human around was kind of nice too.

Not to say you preached xenophobia. Some of your closer friends on this desolate planet were part of varying species. But in a way it aided in building a familiar quality of home even as you reside on the opposite side of the galaxy.

Cal was moderately fair roommate. He wasn’t spotty with rent and you split the amenities, as scarce as they were, fairly. He was a little messy but not in the obnoxious unhygienic way.

Everything was balanced.

And you couldn’t really complain.

He was a great guy. His humor and antics proving to raise your mood after a long day. Just the way he spoke about his own day bringing tears to your eyes and curling your stomach with laughter.

You were a capable engineer, even though your talents were wasted on rebuilding the same schematics over and over again. At home, you are able to hone your own skills. Working on various knick knacks and gadgets. It was nice to have a second opinion as well.

The two of you had spent many nights huddled around the living room surrounded by scattered parts and various prototypes. Only to have to separate the more advanced ones in fear of being caught.

It was nice.

_______

“Damn, I didn’t think the boss would ever let you off.”

With less finesse and not a care in the world, you dropped haggeded into the seat offered by your friends. After another long week it was nice to finally load off with a few drinks and company chatter.

For some reason the quota skyrocketed in the past few weeks. The recycling of old metal into new vessels becoming an unrelenting force on your crew.

It turned out to be one of the worst moments to find yourself promoted.

To think just three weeks ago you were throwing around drinks in celebration and now you were ready to drown out the accomplishment with whatever was on tap.

“Apparently they’re bringing in a huge freighter soon,” you called out solemnly. Your supervisor had shown you the schematics of the parts that would be salvaged and what they wanted to accomplish with its predecessor.

After another long shift all you could really make out was work and more work.

But at least the same would be said for the riggers.

To your right Reif, a Rodian, spoke crudely over a mouthful of food,” Yeah, been hearing about that one for sometime now. Suppose to be a Separist ship. Going to be quite the project.”

Slouching idly in your seat, you played lazily with the handle of the mug offered to you. Just another long project to keep you stranded on this planet. Not to say you had any plans otherwise.

If anything you should really thank them for giving you something to focus on.

Garnering everyone’s attention with a slam of her glass against the table, Enisa a pretty pale blue Rylothian, slurs loudly,” Enough of all this work talk. Let’s focus on something else.”

Then she’s sliding sharply into you, leaving you to fumble with your own glass,” Like your roommate. Why didn’t you tell me he was available.”

Because you weren’t in the market providing companions?

Your furrowed burrow must have voiced your thoughts because she was rolling her eyes without your verbal response.

“Oh don’t play dumb. You’re harboring one of the few attractive souls on this god forsaken planet. And you’re not even bumping uglies with him, what a shame.”

You were stuck between defending your own choices and wondering when she learned such a human phrase. It was hardly worth the effort of explaining how the two of you just weren't like that. Your inventory of excuses were running dry.

“Stop making it awkward for her, she has to live with the guy.”

Catching Reif’s gaze over the rim of your glass, you give him a thankful nod. The rest of your group takes the initiative to fill the silence and progresses the conversation further into the night. Unlike most outings, neither of you are able to keep up with one another past a few extra hours. The weight of the day taking more out of you as it came to a close.

You’re not the only one grateful when Reif brings the outing to a close.

There is just enough alcohol in your system to make you stumble through the threshold of your home, groaning quietly as you try to stabilize yourself. More likely than not Cal was already asleep and you didn’t want to disrupt that.

Now with the evening settling into your bones, there wasn't a part of your body that didn't ache and the incoming headache didn't make any part of it better.

Right now the couch was looking a lot more inviting than it should be. You’d deal with the consequences it would leave on your body in the morning.

Rounding the edge, you collapsed back into the cushions.

“What the hell?”

“Shit, Cal! What the fuck?”

A sharp hiss escapes him when your elbow jabs unkindly into the softness of his side. Before you could try to remedy it, his hand is gripping your upper arm and settling you more safely in the available space rather than on top of him.

For a moment it's just your mixed breaths as you come down from the unexpected surprise. With more care, you twist more comfortably mindful of your limbs this time.

It's hardly necessary but you whisper anyway.

“Why are you here?”

You feel his arm wiggling behind your head and you raise your neck obediently to allow it to rest beneath you. As a reward, the same hand curls inward to comb through your hair lazily. He works his fingers across your nape and back up to your scalp finding just the right spot and drew small circles.

“Dunno, just came home and ended up here. Kind of like you but less dramatically.”

You snort, “Sorry, wasn’t expecting a party of two.”

He hums to himself, the pad of his thumb pressing inward in a way the manages to reset your whole mindframe and you nearly white out from the release.

There is more that could be said but the words escape you both as you settle for the night. If you weren't already going to regret this before, you were definitely were going to more now for an entirely different reason. But there was no chance of you altering the flow of what it was now.

You would just have to lay there and try not to think too hard about the natural slot of your body to Lance’s despite the finite space. It was much easier to count the staccato of his dull thumping heartbeat as it lulled you off to sleep.

_______

“Goddammit, Meeka. You’re going to wake up your mom.”

Too late.

Though in the defense of your mischievous loth-cat, the warm smell of breakfast permeating from the kitchen was just one waft away from rousing you. Stretching out your arms, you used the length of them to hook around the back of the couch to drag you up.

Questionably burnt but you recognize the scent of some of your favorites.You has not caught a glimpse of what he was wearing last night but Cal appears to be wearing some fresh clothes. The way the collar of his shirt is damp in the back hints towards a shower.

Part of you wonders if breakfast is a preemptive apology towards a cold shower you would be expecting later.

“Where do you have to go so early?”

If you startle him, he doesn't show. He slides a bit of food onto a plate, giving Meeka more than gracious portion before bringing the plate to you. You take it gratefully, balancing it on the spine of the couch.

Alert to your presence and no doubt ready to beg for more scraps, you watch unimpressed as the feline-like creature slinks against you. She gets what's expected anyway as you part with a strip of meat.

Leaning against the counter within view, Cal scolds you playfully. “And you said I spoil her.”

“You start it,” you retort without any bite.

You blame the queasiness on residue alcohol when he laughs warmly.

“Oh. “ You look up and Cal has a fork pointed at you. ‘’Your access card is on the table there.”

You’d already forgotten about that.

“Get anything good?” Safely, is weighted on your tongue but it seems like a waste to add it. Cal has always been mindful of his self, actions and footsteps in a way that makes you wonder how long he’s been watching his own back.

In the few years you’ve known him, things like the past rarely came up. No one really came to Bracca chasing a future. It was just a means to an end until you could find something better if you could manage to get out.

You hard already stopped trying when Cal stumbled into your life. But now it hardly seemed like a bad thing.

The clank of dishes brings you out of your thoughts. His back is to you now as he cleans his mess.

“It will be a nice personal pay raise, that’s for sure. Prauf sends his thanks too.”

Cal surprises you again when he comes to collect your empty plate. Rather than comment it on it, you lounge comfortably in the domesticity of it all.

“What’s your plan for the day?”

That was a good question.

Your body had an obvious vote towards rest but responsibilities made a greater bid on your time. A bit of shopping would unfortunately be necessary but your savings would have to survive. Between the recent raise and this upcoming project, you should survive to hit.

Replenish resources it would be then. At least if you start early enough it would allow you to relax for the remainder of the day.

Cal’s gaze follows as you stretch and eventually slink off the couch. Meeka happy to have the entire furniture to herself doesn’t waste a moment to snuggle into your lingering warmth.

“Down to the Bazaar first, then after that we’ll see.”

But first to see how much hot water you were going to be working with. Yawning loudly, you get to work with untangling the mess of your hair. Just before you can round the corner, Cal calls out to you.

“Want to make it a date?”

It’s an innocent play of words. One’s he’s used in the past without acting on it.

‘And you’re not even bumping uglies with him, what a shame.’

And just when you finally stopped overthinking it.

Peeking over your shoulder, you found Cal waiting expectantly yet so unaware of the winds of the storm picking up in your mind. Was it even worth it to wonder if similar thoughts ever troubled him?

-nah, it was just easier to smile.

“Yeah, it’s a date.”

#cal kestis x reader #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #jedi fallen order writing #im on a roll

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chipper9906 · 3 years

Text

Bound To You

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 15

NOTE: Pairings and Ratings will change as the story is updated

Pairings: Castiel/ Dean Winchester

Rating: General Audiences

Chapter Word Count: 4,180

Overall Word Count: 4,180

Status: Multi Chapter Fic - In progress (1/?)

Summary/Preview:

Dean should be scared. The being in front of him was terrifying by all means and yet for some reason, as he stared into the creature’s eyes, Dean felt a warm sense of comfort wash over him. Because those dazzling, glowing blue eyes were so familiar, the pain in its eyes mirrored with Dean’s. Which is why, when it reached out one long, dripping black hand out to him, Dean reached out, too.

Dean didn’t know if it could talk. It didn’t need to, anyway. Dean knew what it was asking, and he answered the silent request without a second thought.

“Yes.”

* * *

Faced with death, Dean makes one last ditch effort; praying to an Angel he knows wont hear him. Deans prayers are answered when a vessel-less Castiel forces himself out from the Empty, taking possession of Dean's body in order to heal him. Castiel's grace is running finite however, charged down after saving Dean's life. Now Castiel resides within Dean's mind, too weak to survive a transfer to another vessel, leading them to a desperate search for a way to rebuild his body. Time is of the essence, with Castiel's grace burning out with every passing day...

Link To Fic

Click Below To Keep Reading

Character Key For Telepathic Conversations

'Italic Text' - Castiel

'Bold Text' - Dean

* * *

It was in his heart.

Dean knew it the second that dumbass mime looking Vamp shoved him into the post. That awful sharp, burning, pinching sensation of something sliding into his flesh. If the Vamp didn’t finish him off there and then, he’d be gone not long after anyway. There was no way to patch this up. No way to keep him alive until the paramedics arrived - even in the off-chance Sammy got any signal out here in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere and called an ambulance.

He was going to die.

Fuck. He was going to die.

And that scared him.

There’s a flash of silver in front of him, Sam’s machete sliding effortlessly through the Vamp’s neck in one clean cut. Dean flinches instinctively away from the spray of blood, the last few spurts of blood gushing from its neck, the last of the creature’s heartbeats as the signals are cut. Its head slides off, seconds before the lifeless body collapses to the ground in a heap.

Sam’s talking to him. Going through the next steps of action to get the civvies out of here. ‘He doesn’t realize’, Dean thinks to himself. He didn’t see it, did he? Sam thinks he’s standing by this post of his own volition.

God, how he wished that was the case.

“There’s…. there’s something… in my back.”

His arms feel impossibly heavy as he lifts them, gesturing with his thumb to his back. Sam still looked confused – not that he could blame him. Dean could already tell that rebar was so far in his back that none of it was visible.

Sam shuffled towards him almost cautiously, shooting Dean a look close to denial as he placed his hand on Dean’s back. Dean inhaled shakily as the pain blossomed from the contact, barely resisting the urge to shove his little brother’s hand away. If he had the strength left to do that, that is…

Dean could see the moment it all sunk in on Sam’s face. As he pulled his hand away from Dean, confirming that the all too familiar warm, thick wetness he felt coating Dean’s back was what he knew it to be. The crimson redness of it glared back at him, his brother's blood spread across his hand and spilling from Dean’s body with every passing second.

“Wait here,” Sam instructed him, his voice already beginning to shake. Dean would have laughed if the pain wasn’t so horrific. It wasn’t like he could go anywhere. “I’m… I’m gonna go get the medkit-,”

“Sam-,” The raw panic in his big brother’s voice brought Sam to a grinding halt. His big brother, the man who’s stood by his side ready to take on anything that was thrown at them… sounded scared.

And that scared him more than anything else.

“Sam, I don’t – I don’t wanna be alone. Please, just… please stay.”

Sam didn’t think of the damage it must have inflicted on him. Didn’t think of where the rebar was, of what vital organs it had surely ripped apart. He just… he needed to stop the bleeding. He needed the first aid kid, he needed to call an ambulance, get his brother to the hospital, let the Doctors save his life. He needed… he needed to do something.

“I’ll be right back,” Sam assured him, a bit more confident this time. “I promise, Dean. You’re gonna be fine, I won’t… I won’t let you die. Not like this.”

“Sammy-,” Dean tried calling out for him, but Sam was already halfway out the barn doors, flinging them open so harshly that they clattered together when they swung back. Dean dropped his head back into the post with a harsh ‘thud’. He knew by the sound that the contact should have made his head hurt, but there’s nothing. All he can focus on is the feel of the nail sat snugly in his chest. Feel his heart struggle as it tries to beat around the piece of metal pierced through its chambers, feel the beginning of a wheeze as blood begins to pool in his lungs.

He didn’t have long.

In the back of his mind, he realizes he can’t feel his legs.

“Sammy?” Dean tries desperately to call out again. His voice is weak and harsh, much too quiet to be heard past those heavy barn doors. The attempt sends him into a fit of wheezes and coughs, and he feels a thick layer of blood sneak up his windpipe and into his mouth, spitting it out into the ground with a pained grimace.

He didn’t wanna die alone. He’s died many times before, countless times if you counted all the ‘experiments’ with Gabriel… but in all of them, he was never alone. Sammy was always there, his last source of comfort as the last of his life ebbed away. A familiar, comforting face. His little brother, whilst understandably distressed, alive. Sammy was still alive - in every time he’s died - and that helped him to go peacefully. To know he had at least died doing his job right; Keeping Sammy safe.

Now there was no one. He was fading away now, the blackness starting to creep into the corner of his vision, slowly creeping in with every passing second, with every fading heartbeat. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to be alone.

“Cas?” The name slips from his tongue without his permission. Dean grimaces again with the effort, placing a hand over his chest where he knows the rebar sits just beneath the skin, through the cracked ribs underneath. “I know… I know you’re gone… I know where you were taken, but… I’m gonna pretend you can hear me, okay? I hope you can hear me…”

The following set of coughs set his lungs ablaze. More blood pushes its way up his throat, gritted teeth stained with red. “I’m sorry, Cas. I’m so fucking sorry. You gave yourself up for me, let yourself be taken just so I could have a chance and… I messed it up. I said we were gonna make your sacrifice mean something, and now… I’m… I’m dying, Cas.”

It was getting harder to talk now. His mind felt fuzzy and his body felt heavy. He wanted to sink into that darkness, let himself be taken by the tidal wave of drowsiness washing over him, and just… rest. He didn’t do that, though. Instead, he fought.

“I wish you were here,” Dean admitted to the empty barn. “Maybe that’s cruel of me to say; To want you here, just so you can watch me die. It’s… I wish I could’a said goodbye to you right, Cas. To tell you… tell you all the things you deserved to hear, just like you did for me… But you’re gone and now… now Sammy’s gone and I… I don’t wanna die alone, Cas. I don’t wanna die alone. I… I don’t wanna die.”

Saying it out loud seemed to make it sink in even harder. A tear from his blurred vision spills over, slipping down his face and dropping to the ground where it mixed with the pool of blood that had formed on the ground, the flow from his back growing steadily slower.

“Cas… I don’t wanna die… Please, Cas… I… I don’t… I don’t want to die…”

Something was shifting out of the corner of his eye. The blackness of his vision had changed, taking shape; a writhing, inky, gooey sludge that was steadily growing. Except… except that wasn’t his vision…

It seemed to have formed in mid-air, no more than five feet in front of him. He had only seen it once, and it had been from one of the worst memories of his life. He was already scared of dying before, but the sight in front of him gripped his dying heart in a vice-like grip of dread. He hadn’t thought about what would happen to him after. If he’d somehow gained enough good karma to secure a place in Heaven, or if he were heading back down to Hell…

That’s when Billie’s words came back to him.

‘Come along now, Dean. It’s time. The Empty… It’s waiting.’

He knew Billie was dead. Cas made sure of it, his last act on this Earth. Yet, the proof was in front of him. He wasn’t going to Heaven or Hell. Whatever Reaper that came to reap him was going to toss him into the Empty, just as Billie promised she would. The Empty. That place of nothingness.

“No…”

It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. After everything… this is what he gets? Eternity in nothingness? At least even in Hell, he knew what was waiting for him down there - even if he’s lucky and Rowena decides to take pity on him… But the Empty? That was unknown territory. Cas didn’t talk much about his time there - and for good reason. It sounded… awful.

He supposed the only saving grace was that maybe, just maybe, he’d get to see Cas again.

Dean was barely able to hold his head up now, feeling his consciousness slipping away. Something deep inside the darkness shifts and, to Dean’s horror, steps out from the portal. No doubt about it, it was a leg. This tall, menacing form was pulling itself out from the blackness behind it, looking almost pained, struggling to free itself from whatever material the Empty was made of. Whatever was trying to get out - The Empty wasn’t happy about it escaping.

If his heart wasn’t already about to give out, it probably would have anyway at the sight of the creature once it had finally pulled itself free. It must have been eight feet tall, maybe nine. The dark slime-like substance of the Empty was oozing off the form – or was it made of the slime? Two massive appendages began to sprout from the beings back, unfurling agonizing slowly. They were… they were wings. Dean could just about make out the tattered feathers, sparse and few in between and absolutely coated in the tar-like substance. It… it kind of reminded Dean of that nature documentary Cas made them sit down and watch, the one with the impacts of oil spills on nature. Those seagulls covered in oil, their wings… broken and ruined.

Dean didn’t know if it could talk. It didn’t need to, anyway. Dean knew what it was asking, and he answered the silent request without a second thought.

“Yes.”

The world around him flares white. Dean closes his eyes reflexively against the blinding light and then…

There’s nothing.

Nothing but a soothing, deep voice that Dean never thought he’d get the privilege to hear again.

‘Rest, Dean… I have you.’

Dean listens.

Finally… he rests.

* * *

Castiel awakens, seeing the world through a pair of forest green eyes. They blink wearily, glancing around his new surroundings. Bodies laid at his feet, all with their heads sliced clean off and resting close by their respective corpse, lying in pools of their own blood. Odd, colorful masks were haphazardly places across their faces, no doubt having shifted during their owner’s decapitation. The wooden panels of the barn that surrounded him were creaking in the evening's chill, groaning low as its foundations are tested. A nest, it would seem. Another hunt, perhaps? Though, one that had clearly gone wrong.

That’s when the pain of the rebar through his Dean’s chest hits him.

He shouldn’t even be able to feel it, yet he does. It’s enough for him to gasp out at the sensation in a ragged voice that’s not his, yet not quite Dean’s either. It’s deep and rough, but not as grating as his own voice. It does more damage than good, and he begins hacking up a mouthful of Dean’s blood, something he knows full well he can’t be wasting.

His grace was twisting painfully inside him, a flickering, pulsating wisp of energy that was already desperately reaching out to the damage it sensed within Dean. Cas holds his grace back, knowing it would be pointless to heal Dean whilst a piece of metal was still skewered through him. With an exhausted grunt, Castiel reaches out to the pole behind him, placing his palms down on the support beam he was leant against. His teeth are gritted, grinding harshly together as he prepares himself for the agonizing pain this next move would make. Castiel lets Dean’s eyes flutter shut, sucking in a deep breath of air that makes his functioning lung rattle and his deflating lung collapse even further.

The scream that rips through him as he pulls himself off that rebar almost doesn’t sound human. How Dean had coped with this pain, he has no clue. There’s no relief as the last of the metal exits Dean’s body, only a disgusting squelch of muscle and flesh. To Cas’s surprise, Dean’s legs do not hold him when he stands. He crumples to the floor in a heap, knocking the wind out of him completely. It seemed the rebar itself was the only thing keeping Dean upright…

Castiel didn’t have time to focus on that now. Dean was just about on the edge of life and death, holding on for longer than most would. If he didn’t hurry, there would be a reaper standing by his side in just a few seconds.

Castiel gathered up as much of his grace as he could, pulling it all together. It eagerly followed his command, desperate to heal the broken man that had provided them with shelter. Even now, holding all of his grace within himself, he knew…

It wouldn’t be enough to heal him completely. But maybe, just maybe… it would buy him time. It would keep Dean alive.

And that’s all that mattered.

* * *

Sam practically ended up skidding into the Impala as he brought himself to a stop, chest heaving with the exertion of sprinting to the car as fast as his legs would carry him. His hands shake uncontrollably as he shoves the keys into her trunk lock, the warm wetness of Dean’s blood coating his hand glinting at him in the moonlight.

The medkit was sat neatly where it always is, placed for easy access in emergencies like these. Injuries were often in their line of work, after all. He snatches the green box hurriedly from within the clutter in Baby’s trunk, slamming it closed so hard he can already hear Dean bitching at him from here.

He freezes at the sight of Dean’s blood smeared across the surface of the medkit, standing out against the unnaturally green plastic, staining the white cross atop its lid a startlingly bright red.

What was he even planning to do? He could handle a gunshot, a knife wound… but… how could he fix this?

He needed more than to just ‘do something’. He needed…

He needed a miracle.

“Jack? Jack, I… I know you said you weren’t going to be hands-on. I get that, but… It’s Dean. He’s hurt, he’s…” Sam’s voice gives out, thick with tears that were threatening to spill over. “He’s dying, Jack, and I don’t know what to do… Please, if you can hear me, I need your help. Please.”

The howling wind of the night is all that responds to his prayer. Sam searches around in the darkness, hoping to see Jack’s smiling figure appear somewhere nearby with a wave of his hand.

There’s nothing.

He wants to get angry. He wants to punch and kick at something, scream up to the sky about how unfair this all was. He doesn’t do any of those things, though. The fear had him in a hold too tight to do much else than shake and silently weep at the thought he was going to be alone. In the span of two weeks, his entire family was gone; A boy who was practically one of his kids, his best friend, the one person he thought he’d finally get to settle down with, and now… the universe had to take his brother away, too?

His grip on the medkit is so strong that his knuckles had turned a milky white with the force. Sam stares down blankly at his own hands as he shuffles back through the barn doors, already thinking about how he’s going to have to find a way to get the civvies out of here and come back to… to bring Dean’s body home.

When he tears his gaze away from the supplies in his hands, he can only stare in utter confusion at the empty space where his brother used to be, the rebar that had gone through his back still dripping with Dean’s blood. Sam’s eyes drop down, landing on the sight of his brother's crumpled form on the floor.

“Dean!” Sam exclaims, rushing to Dean’s side and dropping down hard on his knees next to him. The medkit is discarded to the side as he quickly shoves his fingers down Dean’s collar, pressing them into his throat.

Somehow, he feels a pulse flutter against his fingertips. It was weak, so soft he could almost have imagined it, but it was there. Dean was still alive.

“Oh my God…” Sam mutters in disbelief, feeling a spike of adrenaline go through his body at the realization. He quickly grabs hold of his brother's shoulders, gently turning him over onto his front to get a look at the damage to his back.

There was… there was light.

He could see it flaring deep inside the hole running through Dean’s back. The light was flickering and fading, a strange mixture of blue and white that Sam knows he’s seen before. Right before his eyes, Sam could see Dean’s body knitting itself back together. It was painfully slow, and the glowing light inside Dean was flickering and fading the more Dean’s back was being stitched together. Dean was… he was healing.

The light gave one last pathetic flicker before going still, fading away into nothingness with a few blinks. To Sam’s horror, the hole in his brother's back still remained. No longer as deep as it once was, but with a slow stream of blood still oozing out. Sam let the medical side of his mind take over, pulling the medkit open and yanking out the gauze still in its plastic wrapping. He ripped the plastic off, pulling open the lid of the disinfectant with his teeth before soaking the gauze in it and pressing it over the wound.

His fingers fumbled around for the pack of suture needles and the roll of surgical thread, trembling hands struggling to push the thread through the infuriatingly small hole of the needle. He peels the gauze away from Dean’s back, wincing at the suction of the blood keeping it stuck to his skin.

Sam makes quick work of the stitches, pulling the wound tight as close as he can and snipping away the ends of the thread with the kit's small pair of scissors.

“Okay…” He mumbles down to his brother's unconscious form, sliding his arms underneath his body and pulling him into his chest. “Okay, Dean… I’m gonna get you out of here…”

Sam grunts with the effort of placing his brother into a fireman’s hold, the extra weight making him stumble around as he gets to his feet, the adrenaline pumping through his body likely the only reason he’s still going.

“Okay… Okay, okay… Can’t call an ambulance… Too many bodies, no reception on my cell…” Sam looks wildly around at the chaos they had left behind. “Okay… just… just going to have to get you in the car… get you to a hospital… come back for the others once you’re safe…”

Sam’s feet are already dragging him towards the Impala before he has time to finish his thoughts. He pulls her keys out from his pocket with his free hand, the other resting securely across Dean’s back to keep him in place, careful not to touch the entrance to the wound. He unlocks her doors, swinging open the back door and meticulously placing Dean down across the back seats, making sure he’s resting on his front to avoid any further damage to his injury. And, with some luck, gravity will help to slow down the bleeding…

“You’re gonna be okay,” Sam promised him, even though Dean couldn’t hear his words. They were more for him, really.

He swung the door closed, racing around to the front of the Impala and throwing himself into the driving seat. The keys were shoved into the ignition, twisting them harshly until the Impala’s engine roared to life. Sam quickly threw the gear into drive, releasing the handbrake and slamming his foot down on the gas pedal. The Impalas wheels screeched against the dirt, throwing up rocks and other debris behind them as she lurched forward.

The dirt quickly shifted to tarmac, the sickly yellow glow of the highway lights passing by in a blur. Sam found his gaze frequently lifting to the rear-view mirror, looking for his brother. Making sure he could see his chest rising and falling with every ragged breath.

Looking for any sign it wasn’t too late.

“Just hang on a little more, Dean. Please, for me, just… hang on.”

* * *

The Impalas tires squealed against the tarmac as Sam stepped on the brakes, swinging her in front of the hospital's entrance. He was probably breaking a few driving laws parking here - and had likely broken a few more on the way over - but quite frankly, he couldn’t care less.

“Help me!” Sam yelled to the shocked looking hospital staff that were stood by the hospital’s entrance, a few with cigarettes hanging loosely from their agape mouths. Sam ducked back into the Impala without waiting for a response, already working on pulling his brother out.

Thankfully, when he turns around, it’s to see the medical staff rushing towards him with a gurney. They group around the Impala, squeezing through her doorframe as they gingerly pull Dean out from the backseats, placing him down on the gurney. They’re rushing towards the Emergency Department entrance before he can even blink, and Sam rushes over to match their pace, sprinting alongside his brother.

“What happened?” One of the staff asks him as they push through the doors. People scramble to get out of their way, a few extra members of staff rushing over to help.

“We were attacked-,” The excuse rolls easily off his tongue from years of experience. “-Bunch of guys in masks broke into our barn. My brother tried to fight them off, but they shoved him into one of the beams. It… there was a rebar sticking out and he landed on it. I… I think it went right through.”

The medics shared a look that Sam recognized immediately. It was a look that said, “this man shouldn’t be alive right now.” A look that said, “he shouldn’t be alive right now, but it won’t be long before that’s not the case anymore.”

It wasn’t too surprising to see the medical staff wheel Dean towards the surgery ward. It also shouldn’t have been a surprise that one of the medical staff pressing a hand against his chest, stopping him from following them into surgery. Yet, he still looked down at the greying, balding man like he was insane.

“We’re going to do all we can for you brother, Sir. I promise you we’ll do everything in our power to keep him alive. But I’m going to need to ask a few questions to get a better understanding of the situation, okay?”

“Yeah…” Sam answered numbly, looking right past the man and to where his brother was disappearing beyond two heavy, off-white doors. “I just… I think I need to sit down…”

The doctor – or was it a nurse? He wasn’t too sure - takes him by the arm, and Sam lets him lead him down the hallway to where the wall is lined with old rickety chairs adorned with faded cushions, sat upon by many stressed loved ones as they awaited their fate. Sam dropped down into one of the chairs, staring blankly at the cracked and peeling wall opposite. He’s vaguely aware of the man sitting in the chair next to him, clearing his throat to get Sam’s attention.

“So, Mr…?”

“Winchester,” Sam answers without really thinking.

“Winchester-,” The man continues, pulling out a small notepad and blue pen from within the pockets of his lab coat, clicking the top of the pen and placing it down on the notepad. “Start from the beginning.”

NEXT CHAPTER --->

#Destiel #destiel fanfiction #Destiel fanfic #destiel fic #Dean Winchester/Castiel #castiel/dean winchester #CasDean #fix it #fix it fic #supernatural spoilers #fluff #angst

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cryptidcat-stories · 4 years

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Ghastly Consequences | BATIM

ah HA! Hello! I am finally home to post the first part of my new Bendy and the Ink Machine AU!

I've always liked ghost like characters, so i’m always happy to read/see ghost AUs! They would always have an interesting concept and plot! And I love it!

So I’ve been working on a little personal AU for BATIM- I’ve always thought of something going wrong in Henry’s revivals, and this is a perfect opportunity do put that idea into action! I'm quite exited on how y'all will feel about it!

So a quick review on Ghost!Henry! - He’s still visible! And solid too! So that wont affect anything plotwise. - He doesn't really know hes become this ghost creature until this point! - He is able to become intangible! However, it only happens with extreme emotions at the moment! - And finally(I think)! Hes able to possess others! He just cant un-possess them, he kills the possessed person if he somehow leaves the body. And hes forced out if the body is killed with him in it.

Anyways! Onto the story! Hope you like it! I’ve got one more short done for ya’ll! It’ll just be put up tomorrow!

A Painful Possession

A crash cracked though the room as Henry’s cart was flung into a wall. The cart Henry was in shattered as he fell to the ground. The wind being knocked out of him from the fall. Henry never knew how he didn’t break any bones whenever he was flung by the Brute Boris.

He groaned as he got up, and he nearly yelped as he dodged when the Brute flung a large box at him. He somehow missed the wood shards as he dodged off to the side. All he had to do was wait for the Brute to stop so he could get himself some thick ink for the mini-ink machine next to the wall.

It was a tedious job to constantly go back and forth from breaking the weak pipes it produced and having to wait for more of the ink. Plus it was painful to have to go though this fight so many times and see his friend in so much pain. As he was the only one to end it for the poor Boris.

-----

The fight was getting long and he was getting close to getting sent back. He didn’t want to have to restart the fight from the start. All he wanted was to end this loop! This wasn't going all too well for him at this time.

Strange things were happening to him in this loop. One, he constantly dropped things he had in his hands whenever he was frightened, he somehow moved faster when he was walking through the ink, and that every now and then an enemy will ignore him even though he was clearly in their sights. It was commonly strikers that ignored him too…

He choked back a yell as the Brute backhanded him once again into a corner. He coughed harshly, keeping a hand over his waist and mouth. His eyes tightly shut in pain.

When Henry opened his eyes, he was cornered by the Brute. He looked up at the Boris in fear, he heard ‘Alice’ cackling over the coms. And if he had to guess, ‘Alice’ couldn't see Henry as he was hidden by the Brute.

He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes again, waiting for the time he was sent back to the well to be revived. But the moment the Boris touched him his vision went static for a split second, and then pain suddenly radiated all throughout his body.

He shrieked out as pain laced throughout his body, the sound he made sounded extremely wrong and garbled. All of his limbs felt heavy and he felt like he was going to lean over. The pain and static subsided, and he found out he was now on his feet. He closed his eyes as he fell back onto his butt as a wave of nausea hit him.

He groaned lightly as he raised a hand to rest on his head. But he froze as he felt something cold hit his hand. He opened his eyes in confusion once again and looked to where his hand felt the cold. But he froze as he felt his head hit the same cold thing and stopped him from moving his head any more than where he had it.

Henry felt his eyes wide when he looked down, and… He saw a familiar snout… He let out a whimper as he held his hands out and looked at them, there he saw the sepia colored gloves of a toon. He brought up his hands to his chest as he looked down, tilting his head to the side. He looked down at the gaping hole that was there.

There in the chest, that he could barely see, was a golden and glowing cartoon like heart. Along with all the organs that sat in the chest of the Brute. The heart looked like it was made of whatever the invisible ink was that was all over the studio.

He inhaled sharply and flinched when he finally registered the voice of the other ‘Alice’ angrily screeching over the coms, “BORIS!” He looked up, his ‘ears’ perking up as he was now listening to the ‘Alice’. He heaved himself up onto his feet to be ready for just in case the ‘Alice’ rushed out at him.

“Why were you ignoring me?” She asked. Henry decided to not make a reaction to ‘Alice’ to play as he was still the Brute and not a somehow possessed one. He seemed to do right as ‘Alice’ continued on, “Ah nevermind. You can't speak anyways. Come back to me Boris, I've got some things I need you to do for me.”

Henry didn’t move from his spot. He didn't know where this ‘Alice’s’ little hideout was besides going up the elevator and back to the room where he first saw her fully. And he was sure that was not her main hideout.

“Well what are you waiting for?” She snarked, “Come back here! Or i'll come get you myself!” Henry of course didn't move, he needed the other Alice to come down here to have Allison kill her. It is how the loop normally went for him. And it's what he needed for the loop to continue on as normal.

However if Allison failed to kill ‘Alice’ he guesses he would have to take to killing her with his own- Er, Brute’s hands.

So while he waited for ‘Alice’ to get down here. He decided to look over this body.

He shifted his feet looking down to the ground. He looked back up looking at his hands with mild curiosity, he looked them over flipping them to look at his palms. He soon shifted his gaze to look up his arms, his eyes tracing the ropes that wrapped around the Brute’s forearms.

He moved to the false ‘halo’ that was over his head. He felt the buckle on the large piece of metal that the ‘halo’ was attached to. And without a second thought, he undid the latch and nearly chucked the item away from him.

It hit the ground a bit away from him with a loud clang. He huffed in anger, his eyes narrowing. He huffed again, going to rest his now gloved hand over his face. That's when he realized that he didn't really have the x’ed out eyes that the Brute Boris usually had. Instead they seemed like normal eyes for a toon.

-----

That when he heard it. The clicking of heels caught his attention, the Brute’s ears perking up in attention once again. The clicking was fast paced, and almost angry sounding. So Henry turned his head to focus on the doorway the sound was coming from, and he stared at the spot ‘Alice would come from.

His face contorted into an angry snarl as ‘Alice’ came into view. ‘Alice’ froze in the doorway at the sight of the Brute. Her face too changed into an angry snarl, as she saw the slight differences of the Brute Boris.

“Boris…” She growled out at him.

Henry clenched his fists and turned his body towards the false Alice. He bared his teeth as he narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Alice’s’ expression darkened when Henry let out a low growl at her.

“Ah-” She started. “So that Henry caused you to defect…” She scowled, “Guess I'll have to kill you. You've become no use to me like that.” Her hands clenched into fists and she reached off to the side, she soon pulled out an ax he had somehow not spotted from the very start.

That's quite bad...

She soon charged at Henry with an angry shriek. Henry roared at Alice before charging and swinging a fist at her.

-----

It wasn't before long until Allison showed up and swiftly dealt with ‘Alice’ by beheading her.

Henry sighed in relief, falling onto his bum with a soft thud. He was breathing hard, and he held a hand over the exposed part of his chest. The ‘Alice’ was able to get a few lucky strikes, and it somehow had hurt quite badly.

Allison was staring at him, one hand tightly gripping her machete and her other resting on her chin. Tom was also staring at him with a hint of curiosity and suspicion.

Henry looked to the Alice and Boris, wondering what they might do. They usually brought him to their current hideout. He tilted his head, looking back to himself.

He never really had much time to process what had happened earlier. How had he possessed the Brute? Can he un-possess it? What in the world has been happening lately?

Henry zoned out while thinking. His 'ears' flopping over, and his hands held open in front of himself.

Henry jumped when Allison spoke up. "Hey. Can you speak?" She asked him.

Henry gained a thinking look. 'Am able to speak like this? I highly doubt that…' Henry shook his head no at Allison. She frowned and returned her hand to her chin, once again thinking.

Henry thought for a second before remembering something from a previous loop.

He smiled and started to shakily sign out something. [I know ASL] It was rough, and he was going off what he could remember. It has been awhile since he signed.

Allison lit up, a smile forming on her face. Tom on the other hand, looked really confused. "Oh good! I know ASL too!" She quickly spoke. [Do you remember who you were before?] Allison signed out to him.

Henry hesitated, [Well] he started off. [I don't know how to explain this, but I guess yes I do. But not all too well] he looked embarrassed of having to lie. But he had to now play off as if he was a Boris who remembered who he was before.

#Writing #BATIM #BATIM AU #Ghastly Consequences AU #Long Post #Fanfic

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doof-doofblog · 4 years

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"Have A Great Holiday!"

Monday 14th September 2020

Good afternoon everyone! As promised, this is the first of two blog posts today. This will be following last night's episode. Friday's episode ended with Kheerat basically hinting to Chantelle that he has feelings for her, by giving her that lucky poker chip! I still think that that poker chip is going to become very important, i'm unsure why or how. But something tells me it'll be a big significance with Chantelle's death. I could be completely wrong and jumping to conclusions, but we shall see! Before we jump into last night's episode, some spoiler pictures have been released today of the aftermath of Chantelle's death, as you can see by the picture below, Karen is grief-stricken as flowers and tributes are laid out in front of the Atkins household after the Square learn the news of Chantelle's passing. Kheerat believes that Gray has something to do with Chantelle's death and decides to confide in Mitch about what he knows and reveals that he and Chantelle had gotten close during her last few days. These next few episodes are going to be really hard to watch but I'm really intrigued to see how Chantelle's death will be portrayed and of course the aftermath is always the most interesting part!

Anyway, lets jump right into last night's episode - Max appears to have had some post delivered and he seems happy about it, have the divorce papers from Rainie finally come through? Viewers will know that Max sold his half of the restaurant business over to Ian, to stop Rainie on getting her hands on any of his money, however Max is unaware that Ian used his share of the money to buy Sharon the Vic! I know it sounds awful to say, but I am really looking forward to Ian getting his comeuppance. He's been acting the hero for too long now and people are going to realise his secrets and uncover what he's been hiding the last few months, is Max going to be the first one to be suspicious when he learns the truth?

In the Square, Martin seems to be the thought on everyone's mind. Sharon approaches Ian and asks on whether there's been any news, Ian acts very coldly towards her and just gives her a simple one worded answers - "No!" She can clearly see that he's acting very differently towards her now after she revealed she didn't have feelings for him. She can sense the awkwardness between them so leaves the conversation sharpish, Ian watches as she walks away! Can I just say what Peter said next really shocked me - "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else!" Is he implying that his Dad should sleep with someone else just to take his mind off Sharon?! I apologise if that is not what he meant, but it sure did sound like it to me!!

At the Atkins household, Chantelle is upstairs quickly trying to pack her suitcase, it looks as if she has packed everything she needs to get away! From the outside, she can hear voices approaching the house - she looks out and calls to Gray that she will run and grab the front door, unfortunately Gray gets there before her and he welcomes Mitch and Karen into the house. I'm sure he's unaware of their holiday plans and of course he'll have no idea that Chantelle is going with them, are they going to put their foot in it and not realise that Gray has no idea? Is Gray then going to get angry at Chantelle for not telling him their plans?

At Ruby's club, Ben and Callum are talking about what they're potentially going to do, Callum is still unsure whether to go ahead with setting up Danny. Suddenly, Stuart interrupts their conversation, all smiles - can I just say how nice it is to see Stuart, finally! I know when he first came into the soap he was a bit of a dark character, but now, its lovely to see him so smiley and happy with Rainie, it's like his character has done a complete U-turn! He is so happy to finally learn that Max's and Rainie's divorce has come through, which can only mean he can finally marry Rainie! I just love the fact he starts dropping hints to Callum about what he wants for his Stag night - Something is telling me he wants to be tied to a lamppost in his pants! Of course this is something which has completely been wiped from Callum's mind, Ben actually decides to change their conversation and asks him whether he does have anything planned for Stuart's Stag night! But Callum ignores the question and gets back to the matter in hand, if Ben has any plans or ideas of setting up Danny, then Callum wants to be made aware of it, unfortunately Ben tells him that he wont tell him - mainly because he doesn't want Callum to have to lie to his boss, so in a way he's kinda being cruel to be kind. He doesn't Callum getting in any kind of trouble because of his actions, but Callum does make sure that Ben promises him to speak to his Dad if he decides to make any stupid decisions, at first, I think Ben is hesitate, but he nods his head and makes the promise, however is this going to be another promise he breaks?!

Back at Chantelle's and Gray's house, Karen and Mitch are making themselves comfortable, Bernie is also there in two as everyone is getting ready for their holiday. Gray unaware of their plans, softly says to Chantelle "What were you going to do? Send me a postcard?!" But with all of the family members there, he knows he can't do anything else, he can't do anything to Chantelle while her family is around. She speaks softly in response to him "It'll do Keegan good after everything he's been through, plus you can concentrate on Whitney's trial!", he still doesn't look happy about the situation, but to put on a front for the family he smiles and agrees and leaves the room, leaving Chantelle to be with her parents as she smiles, is she thinking that she'll finally be able to get away? One thing I have noticed about Chantelle - which I can't believe I haven't noticed before, she always wears long sleeved blouses - clearly to hide any bruises or marks she may have from Gray's abuse, I never really realised it until now.

At the Vic, Kathy is very apologetic towards Sharon. After Ian confessed his feelings for Sharon, Kathy blamed her for leading him on, but now she's realised that that wasn't the case and she apologise to the fellow blonde. Sharon understands and explains there's nothing for her to be sorry for. It's then that Ian makes his way into the pub and Peter pipes up giving him the news that he's set him up on dating app! Understandably, Ian is horrified! Both Sharon and Kathy decide to have a look and they all agree it would be good for him to focus on something else and persuade him to give it a go! But Ian is adamant he wants nothing to do with it - but something is telling me that, with Jane not around any more and Sharon not feeling the same way about him, I think he'll reconsider. I mean what else has he got to lose? He might as well give it a go and see if he can meet anyone!

Ruby is then seen waiting in the hospital to news of Martin. Vinny suddenly appears and begs to Ruby to tell him that Martin is okay, she instantly tells him leave! She is so angry with him and tells him that she didn't want to go through with it in the first place, she informs him that she tried calling him to call their plans off! Vinny begs to her not to say anything to police, Ruby realises that if she would - Vinny would go down for robbery! Vinny makes the big statement - "If I go down, you go down with me!" I'm sure it's something that Ruby wont even contemplate, of course it's important that Martin gets better. It's unknown whether he actually realised it was Vinny that he was chasing. Ruby states that Martin is all she has right now and he's the most important thing to her. I'm really curious to find out when Stacey will be back - will she learn of Martin's attack and make her way back to the Square? Or will Stacey's return be for some other reason?! Either way - she is not going to be happy when she learns that Martin and Ruby have become an item!

Ahhh so we've learned a little bit more about Frankie, after Tina slightly offends her, Tina tries to apologise to her. She asks whether she can have a look at Frankie's photography, we see pictures of a young boy, funnily enough around Ollie's age. Frankie reveals to Tina that the little boy was in fact her younger brother who has sadly passed away. She claims even everyone is trying to help her and cure her hearing, she says that he was the one who was actually sick and needed curing. Is this something that has affected Frankie her whole life? Not being able to cope with the passing of her brother, so does she start to get close to the Carter family and Ollie? Is Ollie maybe going to replace the brother she lost? I'm hoping Frankie becomes a regular part of the soap and we'll be able to discover more of her story/background. I think it's clear there's going to be some form of romance between her and Tina though, that I am looking forward to seeing! It's about time Tina fell in love and found a proper love interest.

Back at the Atkins family home, Gray is seen in the bedroom, lurking over the suitcase on the bed that Chantelle has packed. Nothing can be heard other than the voices from the family downstairs. He takes it upon himself to start unzip the suitcase, although as he's about to open it fully, footsteps approach and he quickly zips it back up. Chantelle makes her way into the bedroom, and discreetly hides from Gray the make-up bag with money in that she hid in the toilet, and she quickly stuffs it into the suitcase. Gray is clearly suspicious and claims that she managed to pack her stuff fairly quickly, Chantelle once again tries to lure him off the scent and claims that she literally just stuffed everything inside it as quick as she could. She explains that they have a long train journey ahead so she'll go out and grab some food for herself and the children. As she leaves with the suitcase, Gray heads to the bathroom - at this moment, I was kinda worried thinking he might find something that Chantelle may have missed. He looks all over the shelves and cupboards and then notices the top of toilet is wonky, he picks it up to reveal - nothing! He sighs in frustration! Luckily we know Chantelle grabbed it in time before he could click on to her plans to escape.

The next scene shows Tina joining her family in the Vic, Mick, Linda and Ollie are all sat together. Tina has dolled herself up, wearing a lovely black dress. Frankie follows behind her and Tina introduces her to her family. However, when Frankie is introduced to Ollie, he turns and gives Frankie a smile. She mouths the word "Hello" to the young boy and smiles. But as she turns away its obvious that something is playing on her mind. I personally think that Ollie does look very similar to her younger brother? Don't you guys think? I truly believe that somehow Frankie believes that Ollie might be her real brother, or something along those lines? Later Frankie is sat with Ollie as Linda and Tina watch from a distance, everyone commenting how Frankie is good with children and how Ollie has happily decided to sit with her. Frankie looks as if she is besotted with Ollie, she tells him how similar he looks to her younger brother, Harry. I am so certain something is going to happen between Frankie and the Carter family!

Meanwhile, Ben decides to take his boyfriend's advice and decides to speak to his Dad about the possibility of setting Danny up. He reveals to his Dad that the warehouse they went to did actually have CCTV. Phil is of course wary of them being found out but he makes it clear that if the Police had anything on the, they would've come for them by now. Ben is desperate to her his Dad onside, i don't think Ben can take the fact that Danny almost left him completely deaf. Phil wants nothing to do with it, and warns Ben to let it go and forget about it, but clearly its something he just can't do. He goes into his Dad's phone and decides to take Danny's phone number. What is Ben planning on doing? Is he going to get himself in more trouble and potentially put his life and Callum's life in danger once again?!

Back at the Vic, Max finally catches up with Ian, gives him the news that his divorce has finally comes through. It seems Max is really thankful towards Ian, he thanks him for keeping hold of the money so Rainie can't get her hands on it, he claims he's even willing to let Ian keep a couple of grand to himself in a way of saying "Thank You!" - Ian is clearly taken aback by his offer and says to Max that he really doesn't have to do that for him! It's only then Max the comment that he's happy to take the money back from him, seeing as he no longer needs to look after it, plus he also makes a little joke "Don't want you getting tempted to spend it, do we?" - Oooooo as a viewer, I am kinda looking forward to seeing it when Max finds out about his Ian spending his money on the Vic, how is Ian going to worm his way out of this one? Is he going to try and get money as quick as he can, or another possibility - is Sharon going to find out where Ian got the money from, if you think about it, technically the Vic belongs to Max! If it was Max's money used to buy it, Max should be standing behind the bar, not Sharon! It's an interesting thought but it's technically true and it could be a big turn in events if Max ended up living in the pub!

Awwwwww the next scene was such a heartbreaking one!!!! Kheerat is in his office and Chantelle pays him a visit. He stops his work as she makes her way in. She's shaky and her voice is raspy. She asks if Kheerat meant what he said to her the previous day. He promises her he meant every word. She playing with the poker chip with her fingers, twiddling it in hands. She says to him as much as she wants to cash in and be with him, she can't - not at this moment in time. She's going away with her family and she wont be coming back, but she does hope that one day soon there will be a chance for her to cash in with him! Kheerat is clearly disappointed, but he understands that she has to do what she has to do. He tells her to keep it, and whenever the time feels right for her, he'll be waiting. They're definitely an unspoken affection and love between the two souls, as Chantelle leaves the room, she turns and says to him"All I want to do is kiss you!" ... it is quite heartbreaking. Tears fill her eyes as she leaves the room. We know that the chance for them to be together will never happen! I feel Chantelle's death is really going to affect Kheerat, he'll be heartbroken but he'll also make sure he does everything in his power to find the truth and the reason why she dies.

Unbeknown to Chantelle, back at their house, Gray is ransacking their bedroom, trying to find some sort of clue that Chantelle is keeping something from him. Does he know that she's planning on leaving him? He goes through her draws and wardrobes and everything. He then decides to look at his phone and uses the tracking app to see where she is. He throws the phone in a rage, he then discovers a type of child memory box from under the bed. It's only then as he looks through it that his daughter Mia tells her Father that they're planning on leaving for the holiday. He asks her when her Mummy told her about the holiday, the little girl reveals that it was least week she planned on taking them on a big adventure, but they didn't go. Only then Gray realises that it's been a whole week that Chantelle has been planning on leaving.

Back in the Square, the Carter family are enjoying time together after lock-down, Mick, Linda and Tina are all enjoying quality time together. Entertaining Ollie playing a little bit of football, but from a distance, it's revealed that Frankie is taking photographs of the family, especially more of little Ollie. What is her connection with the Carter's? Why is she so fixated on Ollie? I'm really looking forward to seeing more of her story unfold!

The last scene of the episode, Chantelle is making her way through the Square, she's on the phone to someone confirming her arrival of herself and her two children to a refuge. For a moment she's looking relaxed and happy and more positive than she has done for long time. When she gets to the house, her family are waiting for her and ready to make a move! The only people missing are her children, Mac and Mia! She looks up to house to see them standing at their windows, waving at her with sad solemn little faces. She calls for them to come with her, but Gray insists that they wanted to stay home, he plays the role of a perfect Daddy! Saying he'll give the movie nights, mid-night snacks and build dens with his children. Chantelle's plan has fallen through again, Gray stopping her and catching her out as she continues to make plans to escape. She looks helplessly and longingly for her children as the rest of the family make their way to the train station and Gray makes his way back inside the house. Chantelle is defeated again!

I don't know about you lot but it's so devastating seeing Chantelle look so damaged and lost and almost broken by what Gray is doing. It's going to make her death so much more harder to watch. Jessica Plummer and Toby-Alexander Smith have done such brilliant performances the past few episodes. It's going to he heart wrenching come the end of the week. Thank you all so much for reading. I apologise the post is late! I'll be back in a few hours time following tonight's episode! Thanks folks! xXx

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mariechambers · 4 years

Text

A Toast to the Coming Times

Pairing: ten x rose, tentoo x rose Rating: T Warning: n/a Summary: “Rose,” he says softly in her ear, “Rose, is that...me behind us?”

Notes: Sorry but this is canon compliant and a little bit angsty so be warned.

She doesn’t seem all that surprised to see him, which really should have been his first clue that something was amiss. After piloting, impressively he might add, through the void in an effort to get back to her, he figures she should at least have the decency to look a little shocked or stunned. But still, she throws her arms around his neck, sighing, “Doctor,” and truly that is good enough for him.

A little more surprising, but still equally welcome is when she cups his face securely between her hands and plants a kiss on his lips. His eyes close immediately at the touch, overwhelmed to finally have her back. “Oh, Rose,” he whispers, silents tears tracking his face, even as he pushes forward to reclaim her lips for a decidedly less chaste kiss than the one she had initiated.

He can almost taste the confusion and slight concern on her lips, but still she responds equally to his fervor and he sighs into her mouth when she opens it for him. There are not many things that can leave him feeling truly breathless, respiratory bypass and all, but he finds when they break apart after a moment for some much needed air, he is panting.

They are still pressed together, foreheads touching and lips only a scant few inches apart. He keeps his eyes closed, fearing if he opens them now, she will disappear again. Unspoken words left on his tongue.

Her fingers stroke, almost hesitatingly, down his sideburn. “Doctor, what’s wrong?” she asks him quietly. “You’re scaring me.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says, and he is shocked by his own sincerity, by how much he means those words. He can feel the depth of their truth down to his very being. “Nothing, Rose Tyler, is wrong!”

He twirls her around suddenly. Laughter; deep, happy carefree laughter bubbling up somewhere deep inside him and letting itself loose in a torrent. She laughs, a delighted laugh, right alongside him and he would be hard pressed to remember ever having heard a more beautiful sound.

He twirls her once more till she is deep in his embrace again, arms wrapped tightly around one another. His lips immediately find hers again. If their first kiss had been chaste and the second tender, this one is needy and wanting. Teeth nipping and lips bruising and tongues plunging as they mold themselves to one another.

He had found her at her flat. Searched through a phonebook until he had tracked her down. He had knocked at her door, nervousness bubbling up inside him as he had waited for her to answer. What would he find, he’d wondered? Would she be old and gray now? Would he be too late? Would she perhaps be married, little blonde children running about? Still his desire to see her had outweighed all those fears and he had waited for her to answer, wrapped in a fresh blue suit, swirly tie, and carefully styled hair.

Now it seems, as he is pulled roughly inside and slammed against a nearby wall, that his fears had been for wont.

His hands roam restlessly down her sides, while hers launch straight for his hair, fingernails scraping lovingly against his scalp. He can do nothing to stop the moan from falling loudly from his mouth, only to be muffled by her lips.

His hands venture underneath her shirt, desperate to contact skin, and when he does he is awarded for his trouble with a slight hitch in her breath, mouths disconnecting roughly as they both desperately drink in the other’s gaze. “I missed you.” He can no more help the words falling from his lips then he can help himself from kissing her once more.

She pulls away abruptly from him with a wet pop and she studies his face with a slightly perplexed look. “Y-you haven’t even-” here she takes a big gulp of breath, “been gone that long.”

“Maybe not for you,” he answers. For it was true, he had no idea when he had shown up in her timeline, but perhaps for her it had only been days since that wretched day on that wretched beach. Still he is a little startled by her words because surely even that time apart had been too long. There is no doubt that it had been for him. “It’s been way too long, since I last saw your smile.” He lightly traces her swollen lips. “Too long since I heard you laugh. Since I held you in my arms.” He tightens his embrace around her, closing his eyes and letting out a shuddering sigh, intent on never letting her go again.

When he opens his eyes again, determined to memorize every last one of her features, he is met with furrowed eyebrows and a confused expression.

“Doctor-” she starts. But he won’t let her finish. He has already reversed their position, pushing her so that her back is against the wall and frantically kissing her lips again. He can’t do with all this talking anymore. He just needs to feel her. Finally be able to touch her, when for so long all he saw in his dreams was her tearstained face, hand outstretched-

“Can I t-”

“I’m still just an image. No touch.”

But now he can, now nothing is going to stop him from kissing her, from touching her. His mouth is aggressive against hers, hands skating her sides, finding their way under her shirt, on her lower back. So much skin, so much touching-

So occupied is he, that the small clicking noise of the door opening doesn't even register over the rushing sound in his ears.

“It would seem,” a voice says, lightly. An eerily familiar voice. “That you are kissing my wife.”

Utterly and completely gobsmacked the Doctor pulls away from Rose. She wears a similar expression of shock as her eyes connect with someone over his shoulder. She lets loose a soft gasp, one trembling hand touching her lips. He is breathing heavy, eyes still on her. He can’t bring himself to turn around. He knows that voice. Oh god, he knows that voice. But it was...no it was impossible.

Suddenly he feels Rose’s hands jump to his chest, feeling both of his hearts beating erratically underneath her palm. “How did I miss-” her voice chokes off, and to his dismay he sees her eyes fill with tears.

“Oh Doctor,” she whispers. Then her arms wrap tightly around him again, all the former urgency gone, only tenderness behind her touch now. “It’s good to see you,” she whispers.

He can entirely agree with that sentiment, really he can. But how can she focus on that when that was his voice coming from behind them. His voice. Calling Rose his wife. What the hell was going on?

“Rose,” he says softly in her ear, “Rose, is that...me behind us?”

“I should certainly hope so,” he hears his own damn voice pipe up cheerily. “I don’t think many other husbands would be so okay coming home to find their wife snogging another man up against a wall. Seeing as you’re me, weeelll, kind of, technically, in a way-Anyway! I think I can let it slide...maybe.” He can almost feel the grin radiating from the other man, but really all his admittedly impressive Time Lord brain can really focus on are two words.

“Husband!” he rasps out. “Wife!”

He has yet to turn around, as he is still tangled up with Rose. Rose whose mouth is gaping open and whose face is pale. His hands automatically grip her tighter when he feels her stumble.

“Doctor?” she says, but her eyes are not focused on him, but on his future self.

“Hello Rose,” the other man says. And finally he is able to find the courage to disentangle himself enough to turn and get a good look at...himself.

The man in front of him is also adorned in a blue suit, but no tie. Instead he has a few buttons on the light blue oxford he wears underneath his suit casually undone. His hair appears a little more wild than he himself usually likes to keep it. His expression is open, more open than he can ever imagine his face to look, and almost a little...amused. But this was himself standing in front of him and he knows better than anyone how to read between the lines. Beneath the amusement there is a decidedly worried look on the other man’s face, complete with subtle lines creasing his forehead.

It was always an odd experience meeting himself, and more often than not he tried to avoid it. It was even odder though, when he was meeting himself when he was still in the same incarnation.

He looks back to Rose as she looks between them both, biting her lip (and oh if that doesn't remind him of what they’d been doing right before they were interrupted...). “Doctor,” she says a little cautiously, eyes still focused on the man behind them. Then her eyes dart to him then back as if she can’t decide which one she wants to address. He decides for her, picking up her hand and lightly holding it in front of his face.

There sits a ring on the finger of her left hand and his breath hitches at the sight of it. It is a simple ring with a diamond sitting on top of a delicate silver band that is etched in Gallifreyan. Forever, it says, both of our forevers. He feels his throat go tight with emotion.

“Rose,” he whispers hoarsely. There are no words.

How had they gotten to this point? As much as every cell in his body desires her, wants her, he could not have ever imagined this. Married. Something so domestic as marriage and a flat and living in one time, in Pete’s World no less? Could it be that they, his future self and Rose were just here for a visit? That he had found a way to safely cross the void so that she could visit her mum. That this flat was only for when they visited her? So many questions with answers he couldn’t know, because he needed to leave. Every second he stayed here was dangerous, the time lines at stake. He needed to leave.

He drops Rose’s hand, taking a step back towards the door, throat working. “I-”

“I know what you’re thinking,” his future self says gently, kindly. He wants to lash out in response, but he holds his tongue.

Rose meanwhile has taken an anguished step towards him. He wants more than anything to wrap her in his arms again, for her to comfort him, to explain, but he keeps his distance. Coward, every time.

“It’s very hard to explain,” the other man continues.

“Yeah, I kinda figured,” he says blithely. “And you really shouldn’t tell me anything anyway. Time lines and all that. I should go.”

He is blunt, if only to stop himself from breaking down. How can he leave when he’s just found her again? While it is comforting to know he will indeed see her again, it doesn’t stop it from hurting to know that now is still not the right moment. How much longer would he have to wait? Days or Months or Years? And time was still always in flux, the fickle mistress that she was, and this was only one potential future of many. How could he possibly bring himself to leave, knowing all that? He hesitates, hand outstretched to the door knob.

“Please don’t go yet,” Rose suddenly speaks, looking at him in a way he isn’t quite sure he understands. There are so many different conflicting emotion in her eyes. Hurt and anguish mixed with tenderness and love. They way she is looking at him, it is as if there is something deeper here that he isn’t quite understanding yet. He doesn’t dare hope that this is truly his future, not when there is still so much that is not clear. And especially not when she is looking at him like that.

“I-“ he says, feeling lost and helpless. He is starting to think that not knowing what is in store for him in the future would be much preferable to this unsteady ground he now stands on.

“I remember this you know,” the other him speaks in that sickeningly kind tone. “My point is, I know for a fact that you don’t have to leave quite yet, if that helps sort things out in your head…our head?” The other Doctor touches his tongue to his teeth. “Pronouns can be kind of tricky when you’re a time traveller, huh?”

“You can say that again,” Rose mutters, but she is hiding a smile as she says it and his heart stutters at the sight. God, she was just as radiant as she had always been, and even more so now. The stance of her shoulders spoke of a confidence and self-acceptance that was new and, quite frankly, enticingly sexy. If the other Doctor’s assurance of how things should play out wasn’t enough, he was quite certain that the dip of Rose’s collarbone, the pout of her lips, the sweeping of her hair against her neck, all might have been just enough to have convinced him to stay regardless.

“Okay then,” he says, sighing as he drops his hand from the doorknob. “If you’re sure, I suppose a few more minutes won’t hurt.”

“C’mere,” Rose says, her eyes soft as she pulls him into another hug. He sighs, closing his eyes and savoring the moment, memorizing the feel of her in his arms. The Doctor is only vaguely aware of the other Doctor slipping out of the room, giving them some privacy.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Rose breathes out, gazing up at him, tracing her fingertip down his cheek in a way that makes him shudder. “I can’t believe-how did you even get here?”

“Welllll,” he replies, drawing out the word in the way he knows will make her beam at him. He finds that if he only has these few moments with her before he has to leave her again for who knows how long, he wants to remember what it feels like to banter with her, to be them together. “I am sort of brilliant if you recall. Hope I haven’t lost my touch in my old age.” He gestures to where the other Doctor had been just moments ago. Briefly, something indecipherable crosses Rose’s eyes, but it is just as soon gone and replaced by an easy tongue-in-teeth smile.

“You haven’t,” she promises. “Trust me.”

He grins at her and her answering smile is brighter than the sun he had burned up to say goodbye to her.

“Can I kiss you again,” he blurts out. There is a small, minuscule, gut-wrenching moment where she looks conflicted, her eyes darting towards the door like she is worried how his other self would feel about all this. But it is gone as soon as it comes, replaced by what he knows is her making up her own mind, deciding for herself what she wants.

“Not if I kiss you first,” she says, before closing the gap.

They spend the rest of the day like this, wrapped up together, soaking in these few short hours, enjoying easy touches and kisses and sharing stories about their time apart. Rose, the experienced time traveller that she is, remains vague as she speaks, sharing harmless tidbits about her life. She goes so far as to leave him out of any and all stories she tells. Though he is desperately curious to dive deeper into some of the accomplishments she describes, civilizations she has helped save, he does his best to bite his tongue for once and simply listen and soak it all in. It seems he had not been remotely wrong when he had called her Defender of the Earth that day on the beach. While her success does not in the least bit surprise him, it does make his heart swell with pride.

Looking at her, the Doctor thinks that maybe he can dare hope to have this sort of future with her. Somewhat domestic perhaps, if the pictures he’d glimpsed hanging on the walls were any indication, but still absolutely brilliant in it’s own way. It was still her, still the same Rose Tyler, tangled in starlight and time and all things alien, that much was clear. Did he dare hope, that this little slice of heaven could be waiting in his future? He wanted to dare to hope. That was what Rose had given him after all, that first day they had met. Hope for a better future. He truly, desperately wants to believe she can do it for him again.

A throat clears and the Doctor jumps a bit in surprise. The other Doctor stands in the doorway, his lips a thin, sad line and reality crashes back in hard like it always does.

“It’s time then,” he asks the other man in blue, who only nods in response. And it is true, the Doctor can feel it as if it were written in the timelines. If he doesn't leave now, he never will.

He stands up and Rose follows suit, grabbing his hand in hers and clasping it hard as if her willpower alone might stand against all of time itself. There is a part of him that thinks if she tried, she probably very well could.

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself. That-that you won’t be alone. Promise me that-“

“I promise,” he interrupts, cupping her cheek and dashing away the tears that are starting to gather in the corners of her eyes. “You’re acting as if you will never see me again, that I’m not standing but two feet away, apparently married to you and-“

He’d meant it as a sort of joke, something to make her smile, but she only sobs harder to his great dismay. “Oh Rose, don’t cry now.”

“I-I love you,” she says, and everything down to the way her voice cracks is achingly familiar. He wants to respond, he wants desperately to say those words and reassure her of how very much she means to him, but his throat is stuck and when he meets the gaze of his other self over Rose’s shoulder, the man shakes his head. It still isn’t time and it seems he will have to continue being a prisoner to the damn ticking of the clock.

Rose, his wonderful Rose, understands. She always understands him, more than he has ever deserved. He kisses her, hoping to convey what cannot be said with tongues and lips and teeth instead.

When they break apart he cups her cheek again and she closes her eyes, leaning into the touch. “I’ll see you again,” he says, more to reassure himself. She smiles a watery smile. “Yes, you’ll see me again. You’ll see me again, Doctor. That I can promise.”

There is something about the way she says it, something about the tone of her voice that leaves an unspoken, but I won’t be seeing you again. He wants to question it, wants to pick apart the words and the implications, but can’t bear to do so. Time is complicated and cruel and in flux and there is no point trying to unravel all the strings now. It would do no good. He just has to cling to the knowledge that he will see her again. That thought would have to keep him going.

“See you soon then, Rose Tyler,” he says, sweeping her into one last hug where she clings to him with all her might.

“Be happy, Doctor,” she responds. “Please, for me, be happy.”

A hand on his shoulder finally breaks them apart. His other self says nothing, but hands him an envelope.

“You’ll know when it’s time to read this,” the other man assures him.

The Doctor nods in understanding and then before he can talk himself into staying the night, staying the week, staying forever, he walks out the door and begins the trek back to the Tardis and back to his own universe

_______________________________________________________________________

His other self, his part-human self he knows now, had been right. The envelope feels like a weight in his hands and though he has yet to read it, he already knows what it says. He knows because the other man is him and thus knows exactly what he needs to hear right in this very moment. This moment where time stands in flux, the Tardis in the vortex with all his companions on board waiting for him to bring them home. There are possible paths, many of them, futures that he dares not explore because he already knows what his choice has to be because the envelope is already in his hand, making the decision for him.

He reads about their life together in Pete’s world. The stories Rose had told him in vague detail spilling out in their full magnificence on the page. He reads about the struggles, and the heart ache, and the love. He studies the pictures sent along with great interest. Rose with her family, smiling. Rose and his other self on their wedding day. Rose asleep next to what appears to be a growing baby Tardis.

Perhaps, the note finishes, it is selfish of me to give this all to you, but I would be a fool not to guard this future with everything that I am.

Quite right, too, the Doctor thinks as he makes his way back to the console room. He catches the eye of his other self and they share a knowing look. The damn lucky bastard.

“Time for one last trip,” he says.

#ten x rose #tentoo x rose #ficandchips #my fics #im not sure if im exactly happy how this came out #but i felt the need to write it so i did #im sorry for the angst

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massistocchifontana · 3 years

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The Relational Foundation System: Massimo.Love

The relational foundation system: Massimo.Love

One of the basics in what I teach is creating a relational foundation. What this includes is 7 core areas that form the foundation to which most relationships should be governed by. These are areas that we all have the capacity and ability to instil in our relationships but often through naivety and complacency we fail to ensure that they become central to the relationship.

I have always felt that most relationships miss out on one of the seven areas and this is largely because we are not taught how to relate in an all-encompassing and conscious manner. Instead we are taught through conditioning and this is largely resting on the shoulder of our care givers and the society we are brought up in. Moreover, I do not believe there is a one size fits all relational style, but with this there is the expectation that individuals can be clear enough to recognise this and make the necessary adjustments in themselves when striving to relate effectively.

Let’s start with number 1 on our star and you’ll see how each feeds into the relational foundation:

1. Be present:

Being present is truly an art form in this day and age. We have become so distractible that it is very seldom now to find someone who is consciously present with you. Our phones, technology, social media, everywhere we turn there is a potential distraction waiting to hook us into a sale or some sort of offering that it will be a valuable addition to our lives.

The problem with this in relationships is that people feel distraction, and the person distracted is convinced that they need the distraction. They will feel that you are not present and this isn’t even in the bedroom yet. Unfortunately we create a polarised dilemma for ourselves where in the bedroom we can be in the throes of presence because our arousal has sparked our desire to want to be engaged and connected, but when we come out of this phase we return to our natural default we have conditioned and this is where our partner truly does pick up our distractibility.

This is point one for a reason. The reason is that we have to become very diligent in creating the right discipline in our behaviours and thinking and this is where it starts. Once we have mastered this ability to remain present, we begin to create a new pattern of relating not only to the other person but to our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. This is the key that opens all!

“When you fall in love you recognise you’re not the most important person in the world, and your focus becomes another person” Russell Brand

We need to recognise that when we are in a state of having fallen in love, it becomes common practice for us to be in the throes of rapture in the relationship and we are plagued by nothing other than the person in our lives. Our whole nervous system gets conditioned towards this other person and this is where our emotional cording begins to occur and we get deeper and deeper into love.

2. Be Consistent:

Most of us have heard the story of the tortoise and the hare. A key take away from that story is that regardless of one’s potential, consistency is a key ingredient to overcoming most obstacles in life. This is what life has shown me, and hence why being consistent is one of the major elements to the relational foundation system that we all need to understand and learn to adopt.

Consistency begins with the decision to reflect on how you have chosen to live your life. The more disciplined we are, the more we can maximise our time in life and it is here where we can achieve a greater sense of control and freedom.

When we communicate our consistency to our partner or new partners, it is one mechanism we can use to explain how we have conditioned our life so there is no confusion when allowing someone new entry into our routine. This also gives our partner a great opportunity to know how we function and when making necessary adjustments, because there will be adjustments made when in a relationship.

The word consistency runs through various other topics, such as sex, communication, manner in which we relate, touch, openness, responsibility, drive, determination, fitness etc...

We have to be conscious and not complacent to the fact that our consistency will define the strength of the relationship. If we falter in our consistency in communication let’s say, you will trigger your partner to react differently (mostly unconsciously at first) to counterbalance the inconsistency.

This is a common habit when starting the courting phase of a relationship. When we fall in love with our partner our communication regardless of the mode is always a major priority, but once we are lulled into a false sense of security there is usually a drop in this consistency. Just this very small detail can cause many problems later on in a relationship. Consistency leads into showing your love language.

3. Show your love language:

As a very basic concept, ones love language will differ in comparison to many other people in the world. We make the mistake that because we may speak a common language with our partner that all is understood when we communicate, but this is where we are often lost in translation.

I like to think that we all speak a dialect of our language and learning to communicate our love needs time and practice in assisting our partner to attune themselves into understanding how that is.

The reason behind this practice is to ensure that your partner feels heard. Think for a moment how not being heard makes you feel? Even the most secure individual will be irritated by someone not hearing them, especially when these kinds of discussions at first are more intimate in nature. What may occur later on in the relationship as a result on not being heard, is that anything we say and do will present itself as an opportunity to create an argument. However, it is important to remember that most of the time the argument is not about the meaningless event as such, but holds deeper meaning as a result of consistent misunderstanding.

The exercise of understanding your love language is essential in understanding the manner in which you communicate your love. But what is more important after this understanding is recognising that showing your partner how you love them is vital in the longevity of the relationship.

4. Walk the talk:

Being impeccable to your word is the quality of someone who is sure of their mind and values and will face up to potential insecurities in view of pursuing longevity in the relationship. The key here is facing up to difficult moments.

This is where this pillar is equally vital, because the actioning out of 1. being present, 2. being consistent and 3. showing your love language is reinforced by our ability to walk the talk. If we are able to achieve just the four pillars mentioned, we will no doubt level up our relationship to a difference position altogether.

Most of the mistakes we make in a relationship will be diminished considerably just with these four pillars.

By walking the talk, what begins to occur and strengthen, is our partners trust in us. And this trust is vital in creating a solid and long lasting relationship. We can diminish any form of insecurity and trauma they may have faced previously and position ourselves as someone completely trust worthy and secure.

Creating an environment of trust for someone will always pay itself back in dividends because you are fundamentally erasing any trace of insecurity within the couple. This insecurity is unnecessary, and without it, there is only room for progression and growth. This growth will become an inspiration for both partners in the couple and create a platform for true vulnerability and deep intimacy to occur.

5. Vulnerability and Intimacy:

To be truly vulnerable and intimate with someone means that we have reached a level of self-consciousness where we are no longer deeply affected by the judgments of others. We have transitioned to a place where depth has become very important to us and being superficial does not fulfil us in anyway. Our self-image and especially our sexual self-image has been strengthened and we continue to surrender to who we are daily.

By transitioning through the pillars and reaching this stage of this developmental model we begin to realise that there is a level of authenticity that we cannot escape from. There is a need for depth and real intimate connection and anything other than this feeling wont suffice. Our relationship with ourselves has become more surrendered and we become highly attuned to our needs and wants.

When we find ourselves at this stage of the developmental cycle, we have understood that vulnerability = intimacy and intimacy = vulnerability. The two concepts are deeply intertwined but what is most important is that we no longer fear arriving at this place. We become more open and surrendered within ourselves and this feeling is transferable to whichever partner we have, current or future.

“We cannot unsee what we have seen”

This new experience will open a new door to our expectations and needs.

6. Expectations/Needs:

I often suggest that couples regardless of their stage of development should speak about their expectations and needs. This is essential in gaining clarity within the relationship, because no one likes to get it wrong.

The difference with this pillar is that there is a different state of consciousness going into the discussion of ones expectations and needs. Here we are informed by an openness and acceptance of ourselves and others that is deeply informed by love.

This pillar is not about gratification but it is more about assisting yourself and your partner in navigating the grey areas ina relationship so that no thinking is required because we just know. We know what our partner needs and they know what we need. They understand our expectations both intimately and outwardly in the world, in the same manner in which we understand theirs.

It is here that boundaries are no longer boundaries, but there is a beautiful fluidity and playfulness in the relationship that leads to feelings of freedom. We have complete clarity in what we need to keep fulfilled, equally we understand what our partner needs in establishing their depth of fulfilment.

It is here where I believe this to be the experience of true love and non-attachment.

7. Love/non-attachment:

Our conditioning around the concept of love has been romanticised by Hollywood and love stories of old. We have become conditioned to believe that the chemical connection we experience for a short period of time with someone is love. The fall into love is an unconscious leap of faith wishing that the others arms will provide us the fulfilment to feel complete.

The experience in itself is a beautiful one and holds so many lessons for us through our growing deeply, yet this path does not lead to any form of fulfilment on a conscious level. We may feel consumed by the other we have fallen in love with, but the reality is that we have prioritised another through infatuation, driven by hormones that crave release.

Until we have gone through this cycle a number of times and recognised that there is no love without non-attachment then we have no truly understood the first pillar of this developmental cycle. The necessity for us to become present and mindful of the flow in ourselves and in our relationship is essential in being able to surrender to the other in such a way that we feel empowered in doing so.

The act of non-attachment is essentially not allowing your sense of wellbeing to rely upon anything other than your own presence of awareness and consciousness. Loosely, it means to be in-the-world but not of-the-world. By being in the world, you are completely present in the flow of wherever you place yourself, unaffected by the pull of over emotionality and the unconscious impact that many emotions can have in clouding our judgement.

You are so present in feeling yourself and your partner that the alignment between thought, feeling and action have become one. There is seldom the inner voice needing reflection and criticism. The sensation is one of freedom because there is nothing holding you back from being anything other than fluid in all situations. You are able to love in its fullness and richness and embrace the entirety of your partner with the feeling of full surrender and acceptance.

It is in this place where we learn how to let go and it is through this letting go of our partner that we can allow them to grow to their own level of fullness. It is here that they have understood our needs for growth and freedom and are not afraid of where that may take us. The sense of togetherness is always present, but the sense of control and ownership is completely eradicated.

Although this may not be everyone’s idea of happy ever after in the romantic sense, the desperate need for freedom is shared by every single person that exists. We all crave it but have never been taught how to fully express this need or to help others in achieving it.

The unfortunate act of being in a relationship immediately sets a blueprint for us to follow which is about control and ownership void of freedom. Or at least freedom within certain parameters often assumed that we should follow. It is here where I believe many relationships need the work to achieve a higher level of consciousness and ultimately understand that love can mean something entirely different. It can mean something much richer, healthy, fluid and far more beneficial for us than the way we currently understand it.

Via Con Dios

#relational foundation Massimo.Love #relational foundation blueprint #relationship betterment #successful relationship

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the-orxcle · 4 years

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the old & the new.

WHO: Barbara Gordon & Dinah Lance [ @killervcice ] WHERE: A small-time drug den & Barbara’s apartment WHEN: July 7th 2020 WHAT: Oracle and Black Canary tackle a small time drug den to confirm a hunch that Oracle has had. They talk about reforming teams and transforming relationships.

Babs: saying babs had a one track mind isn't fair. truly, she she could have several tracks in her mind that went so deep they could come off as one-track, but she felt like she always had room for more. that was exactly the thought process that was going through her mind as she ruminated about the bird of prey. it had been a few years, sure, but with steph and cass a bit more experienced, she gets excited at the idea of bringing them into the fold, too. of course, it's all just thoughts until anything happens. when she notices weird activity on a block she walks by daily and decides to pay closer attention from a different point of view, she finds the action.

she made quick work on contacting dinah, sharing her suspicions about a small drug factory in this building. it was only natural to call out her oldest friend, and if it turned out to be nothing, that was fine. still, something nagged.

"alright, if you go around back of the building, there's a fire escape and a set of stairs that goes down into a basement. that's what we want." she instructs, "i recommend that, unless you want a nice pleasant bell to give your arrival away."

Dinah: it had been a point of joy for dinah once that she and babs had been strong enough to have their own team. they didn't need the league, they just needed each other and the family they made for themselves. honestly, she missed it. even though her and babs had hardly grown apart in the time since. it was just a little different and she's had plenty of time to think about it with the league now being back and frankly larger than ever, it's something that she's just simply come to accept now that she would have gone back to the birds of prey in a heartbeat if she could.

dinah was always going to go when babs needed her, all too happy to help out her partner and when she’s already suited up and on patrol, then a small detour wasn’t exactly going to be too difficult to manage.

she nods as babs speaks careful to keep moving. "i don't know, people are usually pretty agreeable when you use the doorbell," she jokes with a grin. sure enough babs was (as usual) spot on and she finds the door without much hassle. "i hope you know we're getting food after that, that's the price of the great black canary," she smirks before starting down the stairs. "hopefully this wont take too long,"

Babs: "oh, yeah, we'll just let them throw a load of white powder over you to find out what it is they're making, too." she chuckles as her eyes glide over the camera system she now had access to. it was already playing back in a still loop for those that thought they controlled it. dinah was going in without them any wiser. "ooh, I could do food. i'm feeling breakfast at midnight... but we seriously need to talk about your salary negotiation skills if I can get you for the price of a dinner." she chuckles, "wait just a second before opening..." two men were sauntering away, just annoyingly slow. when they turn into a room and close the door, she speaks again, "okay, now. two guys in the closed door on the right. you want the trap door in that room."

Dinah: "sometimes you've just gotta take one for the team," dinah laughs with a smirk. it's a testament to just how synchronised they are that they could joke the way they did, even though dinah was indeed still careful to keep an eye out. oracle's abilities were impressive and dinah trusted babs not to miss anything, but things could go south quickly if she didn't pay attention. "breakfast with my favorite person, what else could i possibly want?" dinah waits as instructed before moving in. "we wouldn't want this to be too easy would we," luckily, dinah was able to get the two out of the way quickly, although they'd likely have a headache when they woke up. she moved to the trap door then pausing for direction form babs.

Babs: babs smirks as dinah makes her progress, letting her focus on the fight for the moment, though it was clear those two creeps were no match for her. "okay, so down those stairs is a pretty open basement. it looks like their big guns are actually on a table to the left when you go down. i would guess they have weapons on them, but you can get between them and the big ones. all you need is a sample of what they're working with, i have the images saved and running. i want to figure out where these guys are coming from, because this is too casual to be any sort of headquarter setup," she was half reasoning aloud, "there is a bunch of gasoline to the right if you wanna screw up the rest of their product after you have a sample for me."

Dinah: dinah nods as babs gives her her instructions. it felt good didn't it, getting to do this again. dinah is certain that there's no one she wanted to do this with more than the other. "useful," she remarks as she notes the big guns were out of play, though babs was right that didn't exactly mean she was exactly out of harms way."right, one sample and fire coming right up," she grins before making her move down the stairs. "alright boys i'm giving you an out, anyone wants to leave now you can the police will be more than happy to help you out," of course no one takes her up on her offer and what follows is a flurry of movement and one good scream. babs was right the big guns were out of the way, so she's able to get what she needs whilst also fighting off the men. "got it!" she remarks stuffing the small collection of powder into her jacket whilst making another roundhouse kick to an opponent. she retreats then until she's close enough to the barrel to knock it over, being careful not to get any on her clothes. "well fellas this has been fun, but i have a date you understand," most of them seem to have gotten the hint now and are busy racing towards the exit. so, there's no harm in her dropping her lighter into the puddle now growing on the floor, before she was racing towards the door. "there, another win for the dream team,"

Babs: babs can't help but smirk as she watches dinah go, careful to watch for any moment of vulnerability for her, but as always she's practically infallible. m'gann's words once again run through her head, along with the slew of people that asked her about dinah... it's the comment about a date that sealed the deal in her head. she had to say something. even that thought process was pushed to the side though as dinah finished up the guys, "well, we know they're not super specially trained...." there's a bit of amusement in her tone. she hums for a moment, clearly pondering, "but it was only a minor house. this is... bigger. i don't like this, and NOVA would make the perfect cover for smaller groups to set up shop majorly." she sighs, leaning back in her chair, arms crossed as she watches dinah make her way back to her bike. she's careful as she speaks, her idea only being spoken for the first time now. "this isn't something i want to bother the league with. bigger fish and all.... but i have been thinking... helena and ted are here, and cass, steph, damian... they all have the skills... i feel like the birds could be of some use around here. what do you think?" sure, she didn't need dinah's blessing, but the whole dream team thing didn't come from no where. her opinion definitely mattered here.

Dinah: "always good to rule out," dinah jokes playfully. of course she's in a good mood, how could she not be when this had gone so well. she is all but seconds away from claiming babs as her good luck charm when babs continues and really all barbara was doing was highlighting the same things she was thinking. when you'd been in this game as long as the two of them had you simply learned to trust your intuition. "it's nothing we can't handle," she speaks quickly and she really does mean it because having babs in her ear even after all this time was one hell of a confidence boost. then babs continues in a tone of voice she knows far too well at this point. she's careful to keep her eyes on the road as she makes her way back to babs but still a smirk pulls at her features. "are you asking if i want to get the band back together? because you know you don't need to right?" sure, she was a member of the league but the birds of prey had always always been her team, her and bab's anyway. if the others didn't like that, well she wasn't exactly asking for permission. "a whole new team will be... interesting, but i think we can handle it," when had they not been able to over come a challenge or two? besides, babs had a very strong point. many of the teams strongest players were already here so really it felt like it was just a matter of time. it wasn't something babs needed to question. "you know i'd follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked. except y'know please don't ask that of me or do that if you're taking suggestions,"

Babs: babs cant help but chuckle a little as she listens to the other. she even smirks as she basically echoes her own thoughts. "i know i don't need to. it's almost like i value your opinion," she teases. as she listens to the other, she's a little relieved that expressions can't be shared. the conversation with m'gann basically flashed through her head on repeat at this point, and she silently puts a hand over her brow. dinah just... said these things, these really genuine things that she knew she meant, because dinah didn't know what the word subtle meant, that made babs feel downright giddy. "i know you would," she says gently, and for once, too preoccupied with other thoughts to give anything more detailed. so she takes a breath and hums as she brings herself back to the moment, "alright, you focus on coming here, i'll order something. i feel like i have a thousand things i want to talk about." it may have been the understatement of the century, but she wasn't about to spill everything over coms.

Dinah: dinah smirks as she drives. luckily it wasn't going to take her too long to get back to babs' and she knew the streets like the back of her hand she's all too happy to multitask."really, who would have thought it," unable to stop herself from beaming. her good mood is only further reinforced with barbara's affirmation because really, what would have been the point of hiding her emotions from someone who'd known her for as long as she had? in that moment the only thing she wanted to do was celebrate a pretty clear win with her favorite person while discussing their team. after all, after giving up the mantle of black canary there had been a time when she'd been convinced she'd never be a member of the birds of prey again. "when you say stuff like that i feel like i should stop to get some wine on the way," she teased gently. "which is totally an option," she really only joked around like this with babs, it's a sign of just how relaxed with the other. "i won't be long,"

Babs: "i'm almost hurt you don't think I'm prepared enough to have a stock of wine by now," she fakes offense in her voice, but the smile is clear in her tone. "let yourself in, i'm setting up everything." only when Dinah was around the corner, does babs rise from her desk and goes about setting up an area to test the substance that was on its way. to say she was more cautious since damian and then dick's incident... well, that would be an understatement, which is why she keeps the mic on as she goes about her business. it didn't matter how capable anyone was, "i almost wish i could bring this into SCPD and test it there, but i feel like that'd be frowned upon if i'm not sharing the case. yet, at least. we'll see once we know what we're dealing with," she only pauses a moment before her mind wanders back to the possibility of the birds of prey, "i may have to wait a bit with damian... but i'm worried. that's a dangerous anger and im not sure if bruce is helping or hurting at this point. and honestly i don't even blame him..."

Dinah: "what if i thought i'd drank it all?" dinah questions with a laugh before nodding. she was only a moment or two away so soon enough she was parking her bike outside, taking her helmet off, tucking it under her arm and making her way to the other. all while babs was still talking in her ear. it was a comfort though wasn't it? she's all too used to being babs' person for such sound boarding and it's something she treasures. "i think we have to play this carefully," dinah hums in agreement. she avoids making a joke for the moment knowing that this was serious. "listen if there's one thing i know we can handle it's anger issues," her mind turns affectionately to some of the other team members for a moment as she gets into the . "i'm sure bruce means well but," she sighs then. "i'm sure we can help, if nothing else he might just enjoy knowing the door is open," she makes her way to the other's door then turning the com off before stepping inside. "honey i'm home," she calls out with a laugh before walking to the other and pulling the sample from her pocket."one special delivery for a special lady,"

Babs: as dinah comes into the apartment, babs can't help but sigh a little. she smiles, of course she does. how can she not with dinah sweeping into the apartment like that? honey im home? the wry smile babs has on is not exactly normal, nor is the little sigh she lets out as she takes the sample. "you are, once again, the best. if you want to get changed, I'll set this up." she turns to go about her work, trying to just focus on that until she can leave it for a few hours.

when the test is running, she moves to sit on the couch, smiling when dinah comes into the room again. "'c'mere," she pats the couch next to her, clearly with something on her mind. she sighs a moment before she launches in to a speech she'd been turning in her head for... a while now. "so... i had an interesting conversation with m'gann recently. told me that, when i talked about you, i got this... feeling. consistently. and, you know, people ask about you enough and have said, joked... you know," she smirks a moment, and moves to grab the other's hand, "i wouldn't really believe them. but... i can't really argue with my own feelings, can i?" the smirk melts into a wry smile and a shrug, "and, if i'm being honest... i knew they were there. i've known i have feelings for you. I don't know since when. but... they're there. and man, you don't make it easy to ignore them, you know."

Dinah: "i do my best," she grins. dinah doesn't really even notice the change in the other's mood because she's so fatigued from the mission, but she nods patting the others shoulder. "okay, i'll be back in a minute," luckily she kept plenty of clothes in babs' apartment just so that moments like these weren't an issue.

it's not a surprise to see that babs has moved to the couch, right now all dinah wanted to do was flop down beside her. something about the look on babs' face makes her pause however and she can't help but raise a brow. "oh boy, you've got your thinking face on," still, she nods as the other mentions m'gann thinking that it couldn't be anything too stressful surely. something lurches in her chest as the other mentions feelings however. talk about a bad time for butterflies. "people being ted," she offers in an attempt to be helpful more than a little curious and confused all at once. then babs mentions her feelings and dinah just feels her heart racing further. was she saying what she thought she was saying? "wait babs just hold up a second," she breathes with a shake of her head clutching at the other's hand like it was a lifejacket in the middle of the sea. "i need you to be real clear with me, are you saying feelings like romantic feelings?" she doesn't want to risk being wrong but a grin spreads onto her features regardless. "it's okay if you are, great even i just... want to be sure,"

Babs: the feeling of Dinah clutching her hand too... that felt nice. a solid reassurance in a moment where she actually needed it. "oh, it's more than Ted...." she chuckles a little, but nods at the next question. Babs finds herself analyzing every twitch of Dinah's face, looking for any bad turn, any hint she should veer away... but she finds only the opposite. Dinah's smiling, grinning even, and clutching her had and... Babs realizing her heart is feeling light in a way it hasn't for a long time. it's like a breath of fresh air, almost, the way her heart seems to race, "that's exactly what I'm saying," she nods gently, but shrugs again, "dunno when it started. but I swear you've gotten sweeter since you showed up here-- not complaining," she clairifes, but her head tilts, brow arching a bit with a little smile, "great you say? that... sounds promising." she stays where she is, but inside she feels like her heart could beat out of her chest in this moment. she's nervous, but also... she can only feel so nervous with Dinah at her side. she finds herself running a thumb over the other's hand, "you're my partner, dinah. it's just... it's that simple. basic logic." and, to Babs, that said it all.

Dinah: she's being wary, at least subconsciously, for a long moment. dinah didn't exactl have the best track record when it came to luck in romance and babs well she's too special to even come close to loosing. she can't breathe for the moment out of the pure shock of the moment but it's not like dinah would want to be anywhere else. barbara gordon felt the same way about her that she'd felt about her for a long time now. it didn't seem real. "i'm asleep," dinah blurts out looking at the other with raised brows. her mind is racing at a thousand miles a minute in an attempt to try and comprehend what it is the other was saying. "there's no way i'm awake right now," her other hand moves to trace over the other's cheek then as if to test that she was real, although she doesn't move it with the contact. "oh yeah?" she questions playfully. she wants to be cool even in that moment but really she's not sure she's pulled that off. "basic logic," she echoes. "you know i think you might be onto something there," there are so many things she wants to say in that moment, but there's something else she wants more in that moment. "do you think you can come here please," she's sure for a moment her eyes are fixated on the other's lips. "been wanting to do this for a while,"

Babs: a trill of laughter pours from Babs mouth as the other blurts out her comment, and shakes her head fondly. "you're not," she teases, but her face freezes and softens at the contact on her cheek. she leans into it, pressing her cheek into dinahs hand. she can't contain her grin at the moment, and arches a playful brow of her own, "well, they tell me I'm pretty smart." she's more than amused as they both try to play this cool, but dinahs next statement makes Babs laugh a little breathlessly. the comment of waiting a while didn't hit right out of the gate, instead she was a little too preoccupied with how Dinah was staring at her lips. she feels like her heart could just jump out of her body as she shifts closer to Dinah, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and presses their lips together in a kiss. at first, Babs is soft and maybe even timid, but it only takes a moment before she realizes this is exactly what she's wanted to do for a while now. she can't help but sigh into it, pulling them closer together as she deepened the kiss. she feels like they're floating together, like nothing could stop either of them. it's only when they pause for air does Babs pull back just far enough to tilt her head in curiousity as the previous statement hit, "what do you mean a while? Dinah. did I really beat you at something?" she can't help but tease.

Dinah: the contact between the two of them is grounding in that moment. the way bab tilts her head into her palm is a welcome reminder that she wasn't doing this alone. it's a big deal baring your heart to someone but at the same time babs was babs. she hums in agreement at her next comment. honestly just too distracted to focus on anything else. she puts her all into the kiss happily, not really ever one for wasting time. babs had opened the floodgates now, the least she could do was show the other how much she appreciated it. still, with passion she's also careful, wrapping her free arm around the other in a hopefully settling manner. she just wants babs to feel loved in that moment more than anything else. they were in this together as if that was not the most thrilling thought possible. she flushes at the other's words still breathless from the kiss as she shakes her head. "just this once" she breathes gently thumb tracing over the other's cheek. "don't let it go to your head okay, we're a team we're supposed to figure things out together," she wants to kiss her again and as a result doesn't even hesitate before moving in to peck her lips gently. "you know, i think we might need to practice this like we do everything else,"

Babs: feeling dinah's arms wrapped around her like this is... well, babs can't deny that it's a warmth she doesn't want to end any time soon. she settles in dinah's lap happily, a familiar place to be at this point, now better than she could have imagined. the feeling of the hand at her cheek and the arm holding her, along with the left over tingling sensation on her lips... it's all enough to make babs want to melt. but at the same time, she's not sure there's anyone more solid and stable she can think of. sure, dinah had just come back from tour with a kid but... as far as people being there, dinah lance never backed down, never hesitated. there wasn't a day she was gone that babs didn't think dinah would drop everything if she needed her to. she lets out a little bit of a giggle, but falls silent with another grin as they kiss again, even if it's just a moment. she looks at the other earnestly, fingers trailing through her hair, "there's no one else I want to figure things out with," she says earnestly, melting into a bit of a giggle, "well, i do love studying...." and even her cheeks burn at the joke. perhaps another time she'd comment on her utterly awful humor in the moment, or on just how distracting the other was being, but instead babs had simply had enough of not kissing dinah. so, she pulls them together again, this time with no intent of stopping.

#discord tag #BOP IS COMIN #DINAHBABS IS HERE #dinah tag

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queenmuzz · 4 years

Text

Deep Blue Sea: Chapter IV

The way to a merman’s heart....

For a link to the full story on Ao3, click here

“You gotta be more specific than 'small silvery fish with spots' when describing the type you like, Vergil. That covers dozens of groups, let alone individual types.” You sat, back to the glass, while on your laptop, pulling up picture after picture of similar looking fish. Vergil floated behind your shoulder, steadily dismissing each picture.

“Well, the issue is that you humans seem to have picked a different name for it than we have” he almost seemed faintly amused at your frustration.

“What does the name 'Cordina' mean anyway?” You closed the browser window with the latest batch of rejected pictures. Well, it wasn't herring... what if it was a fish that humans just didn't eat?

“It is just a name in Old Mer. Do your names of your food staples have to mean something?”

He had a point. A cow was just that... a cow. You grumbled, this was going nowhere... You slammed the laptop shut, and spun to face him. He had been a lot closer than you expected, nearly plastered to the glass, and he quickly darted back, as if he had been caught doing something bad. Had there been no glass or water there, you would have been able to feel his breath on the back of your neck.... the thought of that made you feel warm...

“Alright wise guy, tell me something else about the fish, like how it moves, where it lives, any peculiar oddities it doesn't share with any other fish.” He cocked his head to the side, and his eyes looked upward as he recalled the information.

“It prefers cold water, and usually stays in the far south, ” He said, which was no help. Quite a few species were like that. “But...every so often, when the seasons make a full cycle, a current of cold water juts far north, and the Cordina follow it, to forage in the new territory. At the same time, the warmth of the Ringed Sea pushes against it, forcing the fish into a long narrow column, close to the coast. And since the water is shallow, the fish are easy picking for both the birds above and the predators below. And thus, the feeding begins”

Hmmm, that sounded familiar...you wracked your brain, trying to remember where you had heard of that phenomenon. A memory of a professor, showing an image of the east coast of Southern Africa...AHA! You yanked open your laptop again, and typed in words, bringing up the image of a fish that fit the description. Flipping it around, you showed him.

“BEHOLD! The Sardine! Specifically Sardinops sagax, South African Sardine ” You watched as he cautiously approached the glass, peering at the image, scrutinizing it. You felt a sudden nervousness, as if you were waiting for your exam marks to be revealed.

And then he smiled.

It was a small smile, barely visible, but it was genuine, and beautiful. Something you wanted to see all the time.

“You're very knowledgeable about such things, I hadn't thought that you, a human, would know about something so far away, and in the ocean, to boot.”

“Well, it's what I studied in university” you watched the confused look on his face, “That's where some people go to learn things so they can specialize. Some want to learn about computers,” you tapped the laptop, “Some learn to teach children, and some, like me, want to learn and explore the ocean. Migration patterns of Sardines aren't my specialty, but we did learn about them from about a lecturer who had studied it.”

“Not your specialty?” He asked.

Well, the ocean is vast and for the most part, we don't know what's down there...so a lot of us just focus on one Ocean, one particular ecosystem, hell, sometimes one type of individual fish. I prefer to study the deep ocean, it's a whole new world out there. We know more about the moon-”

“The moon?”

“The thing in the sky, usually you see it at night, cycles between getting bigger and smaller...”

“Ah, the Tidemother....”

It had a nice ring to it, you thought... very romantic, you'd have to ask him more about terms he used. “Anyways, the cutting edge of what we don't understand is the deep ocean, since we can't just... go.. there. Not to mention, it's an entire ecosystem that's not dependent on the sun...the Moon's daytime counterpart.” you clarified.

"Tidefather” he responded, “and no doubt, once you scour the sea floor, you will find a way to exploit it, as humans are wont to do. Never satisfied with their lot in life, they take, and take, and take...” His fists balled up, and even though you were separated by thick glass, you felt the urge to scoot away. The old look of hatred you had first encountered came back with a vengeance.

“What? No!” you responded. “I mean, humanity as a whole has done a lot of damage, I'll admit to that, but we're trying to get better...bit by bit.”

“Fitting words for the daughter of a murderer...” he shot back, an you winced. He had a point. Your father's company (and soon to be yours) harvested thousands and thousands of tonnes of fish each year. But something didn't make sense...

“Not that I'm accusing you or anything, but you've been going after my father's fishing vessels, but I remember that during the Sardine Run, fishermen from the villages on the coast come out in droves to harvest the fish as well, why not attack them?”

A pregnant pause, and you were afraid you had offended him “They merely harvest to feed their families, and their fellow humans, and besides, they are merely one fish in a shoal. I do not feel ill will towards them anymore then I do against any of the other predators.” he calmly explained, before returning to his anger “However, when those ships, with nets that can envelop and harvest countless fish, can scour the oceans clean to feed their hungry maws, that's what I take issue with...”

“Point taken...but if I'm going to get you some of the fish, I'm going to have to buy it from someone who most likely participates in that sort of thing... so it's either kelp, another fish I can get locally, or... this.” He hesitated for moment, before bowing his head in defeat.

“If this is the price for keeping my sanity, so be it”

******

You sat on aquarium platform, with a plate of fresh sardines splayed out in an amateur design, as if it was a plate of hors d'oeuvres at a fancy dinner. Unfortunately, there hadn't been much choice at the market, so you were only able to procure a little over a dozen of the fresh ones (and had managed to finagle a deal with a bemused fishmonger to get a regular supply, citing that you were rehabilitating some sea mammal, it was technically true) but it would take a while to get the supply going. So, you attempted a substitute, which you stacked beside the plate. Cans, and cans, and cans of Sardines. The look the cashier gave you, and the way her eyes darted down to your stomach, to see if you were pregnant, was worth it, even if Vergil ended up hating the stuff.

“So, it doesn't look like sardines are in season, so the ones I got might not be the best condition,” you apologized as you opened one of the sardine cans, one packed in salt water. Perhaps he would like the canned ones that tasted as plain as possible, and then you could try out the more flavourful combinations.

Vergil pulled himself up onto the platform, scaring the bejeesus out of you. “Sheesh, give a gal a warning before you do something like that!”

The merman chuckled...his voice, now 'real' echoed through the room “Apologies, I take it you thought we do not surface.” (you made a mental note to attempt to make him laugh again.)

“Well, it doesn't seem very practical,” you said. “You seem to be specialized for aquatic travel, while being rather clumsy on land. The inverse is true for humans.” You realized how dry and clinical that sounded, how close you were to sounding like Doctor Griffon. Your hands covered your mouth “Oh God, that sounded so bad, I'm really... really sorry!”

Vergil chuckled again (tingles went down your spine, perhaps the tales of the merfolk's alluring voices had a kernel of truth.) “It is forgiven, you cannot help how you think. You seem to be a person who is constantly observing, eager to learn. There is nothing to be ashamed in that, as long as you realize your limitations. Something the 'Good Doctor' could take a lesson on...”

He picked up one of the sardines by his tail, and with a quick motion that surprised you, he swallowed the fish whole, bones and all. At first you thought it was because he was famished, but then one sardine turned into two, then three, then half a dozen were gulped like a baleen whale gulping an entire shoal. You were used to animals eating like that, but the image of someone so humanlike.... well, you excused yourself, and went into the kitchen to get yourself something to eat (and hopefully settle your stomach). You weren't sure what you wanted, but you wanted something quick and easy.... And as you checked your cupboards, you found it... a plastic package. Pulling out a pot and filling it with water, you began to cook.

Five minutes later, you came out with a steaming bowl of ramen in salty broth. And what you saw nearly made you laugh. Vergil had devoured the entire plate of sardines, the opened can of of sardines in salt water, and was attempting to open another can, one with sardines packed in olive oil. He wasn't having much luck with it, frowning intently as he rotated the can, attempting to find out how to open the treasure box. You stood back, allowing him to explore, until he finally figured the pull tab, and with a bit of effort, he ripped open the top. He grinned at his success, but in his attempt to grab the reward within, he gripped the can by the sharp, recently opened edge. The can was dropped onto the platform with a clatter as he hissed in pain. A stream of blood bloomed on his palm. Quickly setting your bowl down, you ran over.

“Oh no, are you alright?” and before he could protest, you grabbed his hand to inspect the damage. Vaguely, you realized this was the first time you had touched him. His hands were remarkably soft, especially considering the salt water that he spent his life in. A thin red line on his palm indicated a pretty nasty cut....Or it would have, if it was not rapidly healing in front of your eyes.

“How in the...”

“We heal fairly rapidly, especially compared to you humans, we're not sure why, but it grants us a resiliency that most creatures in the ocean lack. How you humans survive without that ability, I have no idea” He, huffed, amused as you used your ratty old shirt to wipe the blood away to reveal that, yes the cut had healed within a few moments, leaving not even a scar. “You didn't have to do that, I would have licked it off.”

“You...lick your own blood?” you asked, part appalled, part intrigued.

“The less blood we shed, the less likely predators will be attracted,” he explained, and you realized that was probably the same reason for his super-healing. Or if a shark or something did approach, the merfolk would be healed enough to fight back or flee. You were learning more and more things about these people, and just by having a conversation, and treating him as an equal. The 'Doctor' was an idiot, he could have gained so much more knowledge, but no, he was compelled to be a douchebag.

As Vergil (carefully) opened another can of sardines, this time in tomato sauce, you went back to your bowl, now reasonably cooled off, and began slurping away. You watched as he swallowed the sardine, and resisted the urge to laugh at the face he made.

“Not a fan, eh? Ah well, you can't like everything.”

“Indeed, a bit too...sweet for my taste” He looked at the other cans, his brow furrowed, before he looked at you, no, he was looking at the bowl in your lap. The tip of his tongue stuck out, as if he was attempting to mentally form a sentence.

“Would you like to try some of my ramen? It's very salty, probably right up your alley”

“My alley?”

“It means I think you'll like it”

He hesitated for a second...before he nodded, and twirling your fork, you wound a small sized portion, before handing the fork to him. You'd expected (foolishly, in hindsight) that he'd take the fork from you, but instead, he shimmied a bit towards your direction, and carefully, fed off your fork. You couldn't resist giggling as he politely slurped up the noodles. “So, how is it?”

He didn't answer, his smile did more than words ever could

#Devil may cry #Merfolk AU #Vergil #Mergil #Vergill #vergil x reader #DON'T JUDGE READER FOR EATING RAMEN WITH A FORK!

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human-trash-fire · 4 years

Text

Beautiful Disaster: Ch. 4 (Pynch Soulmate-AU)

I realized I never posted Ch 4 for my Pynch AU! So here it is, for anyone interested, HERE is a link to my masterlist where you can find the first 3 chapters. (THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE WITHOUT READING THE OTHERS) I’m also on Ao3 as glam_reaper2 <3

Anyways, this fic is the writing I’m most proud of, and I can’t wait to drop Ch 5 this week!

TW: Adam’s Dad/ mentioning abuse, graphic depiction of violence, mention of suicide attempt.

Adam Parrish woke in the early hours on the third day after the alley. The pre-dawn glow streaming through the crack in his curtains cast shadows on the plants and books covering his shelves. Eyes heavy and throat raw, Adam took a deep breath. In through his nose, oxygen flooding his lungs, battling to release the weight that had long since laid claim on the space behind his ribs. He held it until he thought he might choke. Vision blurring, heartbeat hammering in his ears, a pulsing reminder that he was still here; then in a rush, he released. The momentary weightlessness was a small reprieve.

The tiny arm slung across his abdomen a reminder that, at least for now, he wasn’t alone. Blue had crawled into his bed the afternoon before and stayed with him through the long night. Adam moved her arm off and slid as carefully and quietly as he could from the bed, he didn’t wish to wake her. She needed sleep, the exhaustion evident on her face even now.

He moved toward the window, reaching out to open his curtains, allowing the morning light to flood in. And there he stood, hand still holding the curtain, eyes trained on the horizon. He remained unmoved, watching the sun crawl from the earth bathing everything in its path in colors Adam had never seen. They were fresh, warm, soft. They stole his breath and for a moment, a lifetime, he stood frozen and allowed that hopeful warmth to settle in his bones. In awe of the majesty of nature, swallowed whole by the gift of color, broken by it.

His breath stuttered.

The man in the alley would never see a sunrise, or a sunset. He had given Adam this gift and left mere hours before Adam could have reciprocated. His thoughts spiraled, fingers tightening on the curtain, eyes burning. The sunrise moved from photographic clarity to an impressionist painting, and salt kissed his lips.

“Adam…” Blue breathed from his side, reaching out and pulling aside the second curtain to allow a full view.

“It’s-” Adam choked on a whisper, “It’s magnificent, and he’ll never see.”

Adam spent the rest of the week coping in the only way he knew how: throwing himself into his jobs and school work. Blue and Henry had closed ranks, showering him with their own personal versions of love.

For Henry, it was distraction, mindless conversation, a steady companionship during hours in the library. Henry Cheng, though initially someone Adam never saw friendship potential in, was more than most gave him credit for. On the outside, he was loud. From his clothes to hair, he was unabashedly himself: caring, vibrant, loyal. Adam appreciated the effort, never pressured to talk about what was clearly tearing him apart.

Blue was the opposite, in a very Blue way. She brought him coffees and hugs, asked him about his mood, and made highly unsubtle references to “healthy coping mechanisms.” She was kind but stern, pushing him towards what he knew logically was the next step. But this trauma was too big, too heady to file away in the closet in his mind marked “DANGER.”

It had been a little over a week since he watched his first true sunrise when Blue decided to take off the kid gloves.

“Look.” Her voice was as unwavering as her eye contact, sitting next to him on the chipped-white metal bench in the alley beside Nino’s Cafe where they took their break. Nino’s was his second job, and Blue’s “fun money/ free caffeine” job, covering the hours she wasn’t working on her photography portfolio.

Adam held her gaze, and his breath. Her tone brokered no room for argument, and he knew he had spent enough time avoiding answering anything truthfully… Her forcing a “talk” on him was inevitable. He nodded once to indicate he was listening, and waited for her to continue.

“I know you aren’t ready to talk, and that is completely fine. I won’t bullshit you and pretend I have any idea what kind of pain you’re in. No- no,” she held up a finger to cut off Adam’s rebuttal. “Don’t shake your head and feed me you’re ‘i’m fine’ because we both know you’re not. That being said you’re a grown ass man, who makes his own decisions and I respect that. But, Adam?”

He cocked his head to the side, and made a noncommittal grunt.

“You need to do something. You know I always advocate therapy, but -don’t scoff asshole- but, I’m also aware that it’s ‘not your thing’ so I had another idea. Here,” Blue thrust a bag towards Adam. It was a recycled paper shopping bag, rolled at the top and lighter than he expected.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“Open it.”

He unrolled the bag skeptically and peered inside. His right eyebrow hitched as he looked away from the bag’s contents and towards Blue. “The fuck?”

“Letters. That’s my idea. Something I never told you but, when my dad left I had all this rage and I had no one to direct it towards. My mom got me a pack of envelopes and blank paper and told me to try writing a letter to him. She told me I didn’t ever have to send what I wrote to him if I didn’t want too, and I didn’t. The act of venting everything in a direct way really helped me, it was more than a diary, or whatever, because these were shots at an intended target. I could be mad and then seal it in an envelope and the weight in my chest lifted a little. I thought maybe…” She motioned towards the bag with a crooked smile and a shrug.

“Letters…” Adam repeated. “To a dead guy?”

“Yes.”

“Blue, I don’t know.”

“Look, just take the damn bag. Do it, or don’t. I can’t and wont force you. But at least consider it.” Then she rose to her full height, the most intimidating 5 feet he had ever seen, giving him what could only be called a “mom look” and sauntered back inside.

That night, weighted down by grief and half delirious with exhaustion, Adam opened the bag. He pulled out the box of white envelopes, cracked open the pack of college-rule paper, and grabbed a black pen from the cup at the right of his desk. This is so stupid, he thought as he put his pen to paper...

i. You, I never knew your name. You left before I ever had the chance to ask. I wish more than anything that I knew your name, at least then I’d be able to grieve a person instead of a stranger in an alley. You were… Exquisite. Even floating in a pool of your own life, you were beautiful. You were. Past tense. Gone. I dreamed of knowing you. The idea of you, in abstract my whole life. I didn’t know who you’d be, but, still I dreamed. It was my secret. The odds of finding your soulmate are so slim these days, and yet… In the quiet hours of the night, bone tired and barely standing at work, or when the hunger pains threatened to cripple me, I’d pull you out of the careful place in my mind, and dream. It’s dangerous to dream. I know better now. You fucking left me. How dare you? It’s probably a good thing you’ll never read these letters. Blue, my best friend, suggested I write them to help me “find closure.” That’s very Blue. She’s all about self-care and talking through feelings. Henry, my other friend, agrees with her. So here I am, attempting to vomit my heart on a page in hope of finding some semblance of peace. There is so much I wish I could have told you, and so much more that would have terrified me to admit. That’s one benefit to your never knowing me I suppose... Honestly, it was probably for the best that, in the end, you never had the chance to try knowing me. I’m a disaster. I’m unknowable. And that’s, fine. Ya know? I’m okay, I think. Holding onto that which sets me apart, and working my hardest to fix everything else that’s in my power. That’s how I got here, Georgetown. I did it myself. That’s something I would have told you, because it’s something I am proud of, though I’ll never say. I worked 3 jobs through highschool, made straight A’s, volunteered, and slaved away. I saved money in a shoebox under a loose vent in my trailer to buy books. My dad would have killed me, literally, if he’d ever found that. I was supposed to give them everything, but I hid that. I hid so much. I got really good at hiding in that place. Henrietta… What a fucking shit show. Anyways, I saved and pushed myself. I think I ate maybe once a day for those years, if I was lucky? I know I barely slept. But it was worth it the day the acceptance letter came in the mail. Georgetown. 3 hours away. A world away. A full ride. I was so fucking happy that day, I even allowed myself to dip into the shoebox to buy a coke fom the gas station by the autoshop I worked at. That was my life then, and still is now, to some extent. Small rewards, focus on the bigger picture. Work, work, work, and then one day have the power and money, the status, the ability to fight for people like me. I had barely put the box back when my dad, Robert, saw me holding my acceptance letter, and a $20. I wasn’t allowed to have money in my room, even if I made it myself. It was “for the family” he always said. “Do you want us to starve?” “you think you’re so fancy at your charter school don’t you?” always the same. Always cruel. So I’m standing there, money and letter in hand, smiling like an idiot when he comes in. I’ll never forget that day. I’d taken so many beatings from him by the time I was 17, it was second nature really. But this one? For some reason it surprised me. I thought for sure that he would be capable of some sense of joy. I got into college, for free. But Robert wasn’t like that. I could smell the beer on his breath. Keystone, always fucking Keystone. It smells like piss. It still makes me gag. “What the fuck is that?” he asked. And I didn’t know how to respond. I remember stuttering. I was always stuttering, mumbling, hiding, lying. Anything to avoid the inevitable. “I asked you a question, boy.” I panicked. “Its, uh, a letter, sir. An acceptance letter. From college. I-I got in.” Apparently it wasn’t the right response. I don’t remember much after that, I know he told me I had no right to hide money because I “owed him.” I always owed him. For breathing, for having the audacity to live. That night was the worst I can remember though. He wouldn’t stop. He was screaming about how I wasn’t allowed to just leave. I took more hits than usual, but I could have handled it. I’m no stranger to broken bones and bruises. But I was so scared this time. I knew, somehow I knew that this was it. If I didn’t get out he was going to kill me. Kill me because of a $20 and a full ride. I tried to run. I did. I never made it very far though. He caught me, and the last thing I remember was a screaming pain in the left side of my head. I don’t know why I’m even writing all this, maybe Blue and Henry were right? I’ve never even told them all of this. I really doubt I would have told you this had I been given the chance. I would have stuck to the barest details: Deaf in left ear. Accident. Long time ago. I don’t talk to my parents. Or maybe I wouldn’t have hid…Soulmates are a safe space right? Through whatever magic, or science, or God (if you believe in one of those, I don’t- hope you wouldn’t have cared) we are supposed to be able to share it all. A balance. A quiet place. A home. I wonder what you would have said if I told you? I hope it wouldn’t have been pitying. I don’t do pity. I’ll never know that though, which is maybe a relief? I don’t know. I hope you would have been proud though, that I did get out. Of what I’m doing with my life now. I haven’t even told “you” have I? I got a double Bachelors in Political Science and Conflict Resolution. I’m currently taking a Masters in Public Policy. I know, most people see “Georgetown” and “Politics” and think “Here’s another white guy with dreams of power.” But it’s not that. I’m going to change things, my thesis is on Domestic Violence: prevention and programs. I’m going to fight for the kids like me, in the homes like mine. I’m going to fight for every time I didn’t hit back. Every bruise and broken bone. I’m going to change the world for the Adam Parrish’s. I’m going to bring an end to the Roberts. That’s what I’m doing now. I guess I’ll be okay without you. I’ve always been better at work than relationships anyway. If we’re being honest you probably would have hated me. I’m terrible with making time for anyone. I have goals though, I don’t have the luxery to fuck around. I’m not conducive to a partnership, and I’m not even sure I’d be capable of love. I would have tried for you though. Maybe you needed that. Maybe if you’d had it, love, you wouldn’t have ended up in the alley. I don’t know. I wish I could ask you why. I just… fuck. This letter is getting severely out of hand. It doesn’t matter why you did it. You did. And that’s that I suppose. Forever a mystery, the man with the beautiful face and ice blue eyes. “I used to build dreams about you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald, Benediction That’s all you are now. A dream.

He folded the pages in thirds, slipping them in an envelope, and sealing them away. On the outside he wrote the number one, then slid the envelope into a crack between one of his potted plants and a row of books on his window sill. Then Adam crawled into bed and finally slept; for once it was a dreamless- restorative sleep.

Shattered heart hanging heavy in his chest, Adam looked up when the bell above the door to Nino’s chimed the arrival of a new patron. The young couple made their way towards the counter. The smaller man leaning lovingly into the side of his partner, while the taller man looked down lovingly, arm draped across the first’s shoulders. It was a quiet moment, something so personal and beautiful Adam looked down, he didn’t want to intrude. His hands were shaking, a bitter jealousy crashing like waves in a storm through his entire being. He took a steadying breath, trying to quell the rage, and uncapped the black marker, grabbing a cup to prepare to take their order.

“Hi,” he bit out through his customer service smile. He looked up from the cup in hand, allowing a little of his Henrietta lilt to color his words into something close to friendly. “Welcome to Nino’s, what can I get started for you today?”

“Hi! Can we please get a- Oh, wow!” The shorter man had stopped mid-sentence and leaned close to Adam across the counter. “Your eyes are so blue! Babe, have you ever seen eyes so beautiful?” Adam wanted to fucking snap. The larger man leaned in as well and hummed in approval.

“No I haven’t, sorry. I know this is probably so inappropriate,” he leaned back, tone placating. “We don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, this is just all new for us-”

Adam didn’t fucking care.

“-Anyways, can we please get two Americanos, and a a slice of apple pie with two forks?”

Of course, Adam nodded. He finished the order and made the drinks with shaking hands and a barely controlled rage burning him from within, blooming pink across his cheeks.

He couldn’t breathe.

When he returned home, he slammed his door and flew to his desk; practically tearing a lined sheet from the pile of supplies from Blue and began to write. Pen pressed so hard small tears formed in the paper as he purged…

ii.

You.

Fuck you for what you did. For what you did to yourself. What you did to that man in the alley. Screaming. Begging. Holding you together.

For what you did to me.

I hate you.

I hate that I love you. The idea of you. Because you couldn’t even wait for me. I never got the chance to love the real you, and I loathe you for it.

You fucking left me alone.

All this goddamn color, all these beautiful things, and I’m still living in black and white.

I’m drowning.

You were my hope.

You were my end game. Sometimes, I fear you’ll be my end.

I can’t get away from the idea of you.

I see your face every time I close my eyes.

You’re haunting me.

You’re ruining me.

Fuck you.

I hate you.

Fuck, You.

You…

Why did you leave me all alone?

When he finished his breath was ragged, chest rising and falling in heavy swells. Angry tears drying splotches across the page before him, turning certain words into a blurry but still legible watercolor. He threw his pen across the room, shoved the letter into the envelope marked 2, and placed it alongside the first.

Adam spent the remaining days of September numb. He had taken to carrying a few sheets of paper and envelopes in his messenger bag in case he ever needed them.

It was on one particular afternoon -two days before September ended- as he sat in Nino’s sipping coffee and staring blankly at the textbook in front of him, that he wrote his third letter. He felt untethered, unbalanced, the sky outside was such a pale blue that his mind began to wander. With a sigh, he pulled out a sheet of paper, and an envelope marking the outside with the number three.

iii.

You,

I’m so lost…

I can’t fall asleep without seeing your eyes.

Unfocused.

Unblinking.

Ice cold.

Fathomless.

Broken.

I wonder how they looked when you were happy… I hope you were happy, truly happy. At least once there before the end.

I bet they were beautiful.

Come back.

Please…

Adam stayed staring at that plea, that unanswered wish, until his coffee was cold. He wondered if this would ever end, he wasn’t unfamiliar with want. Adam had wanted more than anyone he had ever known. He was accustomed to the pain, the resentment that came with wanting that which you cannot have, but unlike all the other times this was wholly unattainable. No amount of extra shifts, A’s on homework, perfect test scores, hard-work would ever give him this particular want.

He packed his bag slowly, tossing his coffee in the trash by the door and waving half-heartedly at his coworker behind the counter. The bell chimed his departure and he made his way out into the chilly September afternoon. The walk from Nino’s to his apartment was blessedly short. As he rounded the corner at the end of the block he was assaulted by the acrid smell of smoke.

Adam looked up, chill already forgotten, for the source and his eyes landed on a peculiar sight: A handsome man, in a nice crisp peacoat and cashmere scarf. Standing, hands clasped behind his neck, staring into the open maw of a smoking, Candy-Orange, ‘73 Camero.

“Hey!” he half shouted, making his way towards the gentleman, his greeting had clearly disturbed an emotional crisis. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you, did you maybe need some help?”

“Oh, hi. Yes, Hello. I’m, no thank you. I’m alright. I’ll give someone a call, The Pig is an auto-shop frequent flyer I’m afraid. Though, I’ve never seen it smoke quite so heavily.” The man half laughed, and shook his head.

“I don’t mind, I’m actually a mechanic down at Boyds. I can take a peak and see if I can do anything here if you’d like? Save you a trip.”

“Are you sure? I’d be more than happy to pay y-”

Adam shook his head fiercely, “No need. I’m Adam, by the way.”

He held out his hand towards the man, who grasped his in kind. A vibrant smile lit his face, “Lovely to meet you Adam, I’m Gansey.”

#pynch #pynch fic #Adam Parrish #ronan lynch #ronan x adam #blue sargent #gansey #gangsey #bd au

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