#like fuck it was so fucking funny i was wheezing the whole time

[crimson-constellations]

i have a pattern for find out my fav fics in each fandom im in that consists in me looking for some quick fluffy shit to read bfr bed but being so tired i barely understand a thing forgeting about it for months then picking it to reread by pure accident just to transcend to the fucking skies over how good it actually is

#i'm not lying btw this happened to me like 4 times already #just experienced the pure bliss of a perfectly written zukka fic and i'll never be the same again #like DAMN what is wrong with me i pick the best stuff when im literally passing out #i was suposed to be studying but dang zukka got me again #like fuck it was so fucking funny i was wheezing the whole time #except when i wasnt cuz angst and shit #my brain was so delicious for forgetting about the ''plot twist'' (?) cuz it made it 10x better #but yea im not even going crazy over it or whatever #btw if anyone cares im talking abt 'wooing the water tribe' by lenaballena #atla #fic rec #ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #avatar the last airbender #zukka

[skylarsblue]

✦I have more C.o.D Quotes✦

Gaz: How’s your head? Y/N: Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet. Gaz: …excuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think I’ll live-

-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, don’t encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didn’t have a mouth.

-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.

-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.

-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: … Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.

-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.

-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I should’ve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*

-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.

-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or I’m popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!

-- Graves: C’mon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Graves’ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, who’s just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. They’ve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain “John”. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: That’s…really sweet, I’ll give’em permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.

-- Y/N, perched on Price’s desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.

-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didn’t end before you. Graves: ….I just sat down!

-- Y/N: You’re like…the human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh c’MON THAT’S REAL MEAN Ghost: It’s true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: I’M JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and it’s perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: It’s Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I don’t know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.

-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah I’m good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You just…you ever see someone and think “they have pretty eyes”. And that’s normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes “yeah they’d look good rolled back”. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.

-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this one’s dated. You would’ve been…19 in this one. Lemme s-…… Gaz: Lemme see! ….. Price: What? Y/N: …..you were a whore, weren’t you captain? Gaz: That’s the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: I…might’ve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I would’ve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!

-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend’s next- Alejandro: ….. Rudy: ….should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.

-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, I’m aware of that.

-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, don’t move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*

-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: …don’t fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Don’t fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: …fucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-

-- Ghost: What’s rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!

-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: …I would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.

-- Ghost: Wait…Johnny’s into me? Like…he LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh Si…you poor, sad, dense mother fucker.

-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: …Graves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.

-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* …alright, so you’re autistic, good to know.

-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isn’t an eye test. It’s a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?… Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?

-- Waitress: So, I’ve gotta ask, I’m really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used like…the military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I don’t- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* I’m sorry I’m imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: “You gonna come?” Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, that’s a no. I don’t think we’ve done that.

-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: …huh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!

-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-…they’re just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes don’t have to be blue or green to be pretty. They’re pretty because they’re expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I like’em best when we’re all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: …stop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3

-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? Oh…really? Y/N: Mhm. It’s cute, comes from your chest. I’ve never heard you laugh in anyway that’s not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, you’re gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!

-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-…ah, I been talkin’ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: It’s super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, it’s like you can hear your smile. It’s really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* You’re gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!

-- König: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. König: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! König: Nien, they’re rough and calloused, they break a lot of things… Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesn’t make them less beautiful. König: *he’s actually crying* …Danke. Y/N: Don’t mention it!

-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uh…no, I don’t believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy with’em, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. They’re strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when they’re weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. You’re real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: …gracias. Y/N: No problem! Now c’mon, the guys are waitin’ for us!

-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know that’s real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. It’s like…the rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. I’m probably being too poetic but it’s like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: …you have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!

#incorrect cod quotes #call of duty x y/n #call of duty #call of duty x reader #cod x gn reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #captain john price #john price x reader #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #alejandro vargas #valeria el sin nombre garza #phillip graves #rodolfo rudy parra #rodolfo x reader #ghostsoap #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick x reader #konig x reader #konig call of duty #alejandro x rodolfo #kate laswell

[alwaysshallow]

every single one of those 141 mfs are hopeless romantics lmao.. it takes a while to get used to simon but once you guys are together yall are TOGETHER. This man fixes ur things u didnt even know it was broken. you get free oil change and break checks lmao. hes so unintentionally funny with you too and its a combo of levi ackerman + gordon ramsay it makes u wheeze and gasp for air. price out here buying you flowers all the time and you are starting to run out of vases to put them in. he probably has daydreamed about yall being on a canoe/gandila, white swans swimming around you guys in the lake, ect. then he gets interrupted by shots fired rip gaz makes anniversaries for everything. first ferris wheel date, first xmas together, first camping trip together. he also make sit a mission to have a treat-yo-self day every year. you guys have matching versace slippers lol. he plays piano for youuu ;) Soap smiling like a fucking dumbass when he sees you. like the smile he got when he told Valeria you gonna pay for what you did. THATS the smile he got. kick and swings his feet when u send his little texts through the day. he sends you pictures of houses/cars that looks like they have faces on them -💸

you get it, cash anon!!!

simon is such an acts of service type of man. might not be the best with words, pda or anything, but he's gonna fix everything you'll need to fix. quality time with you and him watching some sappy series and he comments everything.

price? come on, not only giving you various gifts, but also words of affirmation. he tells you how he loves you, he tells you how he loves you, how he appreciates that you're here with him:( you almost cry when you hear all of this from him. no matter if he's off at deployment or beside you.

gaz ahhh jhfsh quality time with him planning the dates, every little thing is just thought through, you don't have to worry about anything. he's also very on physical touch (aren't they all), like?? not even in sexual way, he just needs you there, in his arms, hand around your waist. when you're not beside him in bed, he's searching for you like a lost puppy sjjhb

soap mmm. physical touch, hands on your ass, everywhere he can, he's so gross with it sometimes, but he can't really help himself when he sees you. words of affirmation is his big love language too, like he's just feral for the whole idea of you telling him things like i love you or i miss you so much, i wish you were here. if he would, he'd hop on the next plane and spend an eternity with you lol

#exilesanswers #finally getting to some asks? im so sorry that you had to wait so long pls #anon.💸 #tf 141 x reader #cod x reader #kyle garrick x reader #simon riley x reader #soap x reader #price x reader

[ma1dita]

🐥

okay I dont wanna seem annoying but it's 10:53pm and the ideas r coming in but I already sent an ask in so do whichever u want first 😭

bf!Luke when he's sick headcanons? (can be in an au where they're js normal ppl or can be them at camp, your choice !! 🫶🏼

🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

a/n: LIVVVVV i truly believe that if this man was sick with an SO that would take care of him he would be the biggest bitch alive just because he can

at camp:

it starts with a sniffle, luke trying to be oh so brave about it until he can’t ignore the sneezes that sound like they could shake the earth and all of cabin 11 (if you think those kids barely got sleep in general, you should see them get mad at luke’s dumbass going ACHOO for the 47th time that night)

so they rightfully complain to you to go get your man and drag his ass to the infirmary, because the cabin counselor he is loves taking care of others but throws a fit when they tell him to get checked out by the apollo kids talking bout “i don’t get sick, i’m too cool to get sick! heroes don’t get—”

yeah so he has the flu

one stern look from you sends him packing towards the infirmary, dragging his feet in the dirt and complaining the whole way

he puts up a fight the whole time, swatting the healer’s hands away to the point they want to tie him to the bed, and luke doesn’t like not winning

“luke just listen to the fucking healer and you’ll be out of here faster.” “bedrest! they want me to be strapped down here forever, babe, you know i don’t like not moving for that long! though if you were the one tying me down…” *sniffles innocently*

a cold towel smacks him in the face

you end up nursing his nasty germ-riddled ass back to health in a corner of the infirmary that you have to make your own for the next week and a half. 

but if you ask him, he felt fine after a few days—he just likes being taken care of by you

im bored lets do modern hcs too:

in this universe he’s still a little shit but at least you two live together in a cute little city apartment

luke’s laid out on the couch wrapped up in some of your coziest throw blankets as he scrolls through old reruns of friends, laughing at chandler’s humor because i imagine it to be a lot like his own (of course, if rick let him be funny instead of traumatized and an antagonist)

you’re making chicken noodle soup in the kitchen and the smell wafts through the air of your apartment even if he’s so congested his voice sounds funny when he talks

i think you guys would have two cats, brother and sister—absolute menaces, pouncing on him in turns trying to resuscitate their dad from his lifeless form on the couch to throw their little mouse toy around

that or a really big senior dog who sleeps at his feet and turns its head every time luke makes a funny noise

oh he’s still annoying in this one trust—you gave him a little silver dinner bell to ring if he needs you since you’re working from home in the other room but the problem is this man always needs you

ring. “babe!’ ring. “baby!” ring ring. “love of my life, absolute goddess among—*wheeze* humans, can you come here a second?”

“what’s up, honey?” “oh i just needed to see your pretty face. feeling better already!” 

you toss a pillow at his head and get back to your meeting.

when it’s over though, you join him in his little blanket fortress and he lays on your chest, sniffling and smiling as he pulls you into a kiss and thanking you for existing

you get sick after but it’s worth it. sort of like payback

#jo's 23rd birthday bash ⋆｡°✩ #luke castellan x reader #pjo x reader #luke castellan fluff #percy jackon and the olympians #made by ma1dita ♥︎ #for my gn babies (づ ◕‿◕ )づ

[dabislittlemouse]

okay but.. I'm feeling fluffy.. I wanna see some father dabi like his daughter is such a daddy's girl and they get into so much shenanigans that you have to deal with!! my nephew cut her bangs because she was bored and when she saw it in the mirror, she was so terrified at how it looked and I just wanna see how dabi would react if his daughter did the same thing 😭😭😭😭

Daddy!Dabi Headcanons

Summary: Dabi as a dad, how he’d behave with his kids, either a son or a daugher

A/N: DADDY DABI IS WHAT GETS MY HEART SO FULL. I’m sure he’d be such a good dad. I wouldn’t want anyone to be my baby’s daddy other than him. Sorry anon my beloved but your ask inspired me to write a lot, kids are so cute and silly sometimes.

MASTERLIST

₊˚ʚ The thought of being a dad never crossed Dabi’s mind in a million years, but when it did, it terrified him. Not because of the responsibility of having a baby, Dabi is not a pussy, he’d never run away from his responsibilities and leave you alone with your baby. He was scared of the fact that he would not be a good dad, that he would be like….him. Dabi would rather get burned in Sekoto twice as much than hurt his baby in anyway possible.

₊˚ʚ His insecurities would get the best of him, coming off as sarcasm or bad jokes most of the time, such as like “imagine what their reaction will be once they find out their daddy is the boogeyman” or stuff like that. You had to smack him at the back of his head, and have a nice long conversation as to why he will be a good dad and his baby will love him.

₊˚ʚ And in fact, he is a good dad. The best one out there ever. You and the baby are the light of his life. He becomes more cautious and is always looking after you two, providing anything you need, helping you out as much as he can. It is all natural, it’s not like he is forcing himself to be a good dad or something.

₊˚ʚ You can’t help the smile on your face as you see him play with his baby, inhaling their scent and humming a small melody to make them sleep. Look at him, a wanted criminal, being such a softie, it makes your heart so full. His scarred hands, the ones that have destroyed and burned down whole cities, are now gently caressing the baby’s cheek, he is so careful with his movements as if the baby is going to break. Looking at Dabi you realize wouldn’t want any other man to be your baby’s daddy. Nobody other than him.

₊˚ʚ As the baby grows up, speaks the first words, starts crawling, does the first steps, Dabi is witnessing it all, and he can’t believe such small creature is able to make his chest explode from emotions. He’d be having tears in his eyes if his tear ducts weren’t burnt.

₊˚ʚ Dabi would be the type of dad to spoil his kid rotten, even when it was too much. Toys got broken or lost? Don’t worry, daddy will steal get new ones. Mommy didn’t allow chocolates? Don’t worry, daddy will bring so many chocolates and ice-cream instead. Too many dresses? Don’t worry, daddy will get more princess dresses for his precious daughter.

₊˚ʚ At some point you have to tell Dabi to not spoil the kid too much cause it is not good. He never listens though.

₊˚ʚ Dabi is always there to help the kids hide the evidence after having done something bad. (Duh, a wanted criminal, he’s an expert at this) Broken glasses, vases, colored walls, messy rooms, ruining mommy’s lipsticks, the kids come to his daddy, saying that they have done a mistake. Daddy always forgives them and is ready to help them fix everything before mommy comes home.

₊˚ʚ Dabi would be the type of dad to laugh his ass off when he sees his kid with a terrible self-done haircut, or their face painted horribly with whatever colored pens they were using. “Ya little brats never chill huh” he chuckles while cleaning their face with wet wipes.

₊˚ʚ Dabi would wheeze when his kid shows him a drawing that they have done. He doesn’t mean to laugh but the drawing is just… so fucking funny! His kid gets mad and starts stomping their feet around the room, running to mommy and saying how daddy is making fun of them. Dabi will come and apologize over and over, saying that he indeed loved the drawing to the point it made him laugh from happiness.

₊˚ʚ If Dabi was a boy dad, things would be different. Hilarious even. Dabi considers his lovely son as a little friend as well.

₊˚ʚ“You cute little shit look exactly like your mother. Too embarrassed to get anything from daddy huh?” he smirks, pinching his son’s nose slightly. All the baby manages to do is babble incoherent words at his daddy, as Dabi manages to squish his soft cheeks afterwards. “I really hope you don’t get my quirk, would be a real shame if ya did”

₊˚ʚ And as for Dabi’s shit luck, his son indeed inherits his flames. He is flabbergasted as one day his 4-year old son walks in, blue flame glowing on his fist. “Daddy I am like you!” his son yells, happy and excited. A weird feeling places on Dabi’s chest, it is not fear or sadness, it’s more like pride and excitement that his son, his own kid, got his quirk. And he was happy about it too. Dabi swears he will do his best to train his son properly on how to handle that quirk, something which Endeavor never did.

₊˚ʚ Dabi does everything to keep you and your kid out of harm’s way. Balancing his villainous life and the “normal” life with his beloved family is not easy, but he will do it because his little family is the only source of happiness, and he loves you two deeply. He would kill for you. He makes sure to keep his family a secret otherwise if his enemies found that Dabi from the League of Villains has a kid, he’d never forgive himself. He keeps it a secret from Tomura and the others as well for some time.

₊˚ʚ Despite from not having a normal life, Dabi does his best to be present as much as he can on his kid’s life as they grow up. Always praising his beloved kid for their achievements, no matter how small they are. He loves to see them smile as they got daddy’s praise and admiration. He makes sure to provide them everything he never had as a kid back then. Spoiling them rotten isn’t enough, they need to feel his love, Dabi always makes sure to show that to them, that daddy is always here to kiss their wounds when they run and hurt their knees, that daddy is always here to applaud them after having done a messy shitty drawing, daddy is always here to kiss their foreheads if they’ve seen a nightmare.

₊˚ʚ Dabi is literally the best dad ever. He doesn’t have to be perfect, there is no definition of a perfect dad. As long as his children are loved, safe and taken care of.

Tags: @mostlyheinous @ko-konutty @the-milk-anon @shadowsandshapes @mossy-opal @daniidil @dabislittlebeaniebaby @syrenkitsune @keiskake @arinexeisnotworking @holydayaria @awalkingshame @malewifetouya @drownedbytears @stuckbetweena-and-z @doumadono @high-bats @dabihawksluva @cherryflavoredkissess @vjohnson696 @sukunas-bitxh @wolfylovespoison @dabis0bitch @ifeelsofilthy

#B.writes #dabi #touya todoroki #mha dabi #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #dabi imagines #dabi fluff #bnha fluff #mha fluff #bnha imagines #bnha headcannons #dabi headcanons #dabi x reader #bnha x reader

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Kim and Chay Accidentally Develop A Pony-Play Fetish

So I saw this post:

And I thought to myself, you know what would be really funny?

Chay is the first one. Kim goes okay. I'm willing to work with this. A warning would have been nice. But he's going to power through any awkwardness, swallow his giggles, and ride his ass. And Kim gets into it. Not like, personally, but he's going to make damn fucking sure his boy is satisfied.

Kim is saying some dumb pony-play shit trying to play into what he thinks is Chay's suddenly-revealed fetish, grabs his hair and tells him to neigh, or says he's gonna break him in like the wild stallion he is.

Chay thinks Kim is the freak.

They're both like Okay, This Is A Bit Weird, But If You're Into It.

They're both very supportive boyfriends. Goals, honestly. One drops a buckwild (haha) fetish in the middle of sex? Fuck it! Guess we're doing that, now!

Afterwards goes something like this:

Chay: so you know how we talked about discussing kinks before, like, doing them? Kim, judging him: oh so now you remember? Chay: EXCUSE YOU??? Kim: ME??? Chay: you're the one that started the pony play!! Kim: You said you were a horse!?!?!

Once they figure out the misunderstanding they're going to die. Rolling on the floor laughing, can't breathe, haven't even put their clothes back on yet. Chay is wheezing.

Chay: you told me to neigh! Kim: and you did!!

Kim committed to the bit (haha) so hard. No hesitation. He just fkn went with it. If Absolutely nothing else, that man is RIDE or die.

But then it gets better. This could easily be a one-time occurrence. Something to laugh at later. But then they get kinky another time, Kim brings out a riding crop, and Chay just. Loses it. Then Kim loses it. He can't even defend himself! He's laughing to much to remind Chay that they already owned the damn thing, and he wasn't thinking of That Incident at all!! It takes him at least half an hour to clam down enough to even try fucking, and they're still giggling the whole time.

After that, one of them buys a gag that looks like a bit. Once again, on the floor cry-laughing for at least ten minutes. (But actually it's so much more comfortable than a ball-gag, may as well use it!)

One night Kim is tying Chay up and Chay goes, "Are you gonna lasso me?" grinning like a menace, then honest to god knickers. He's been practicing. He's going to kill Kim.

All that to say- they eventually, accidentally, end up with a full kit of tack, complete with Kim in this outfit:

thank you @snickerdoodlles for not immediately blocking me when I started this nonsense 🤣💛

#cookie speaks #kimchay #im SO sorry #im not into crack #but this got away from me #i was fkn DYING #it's about the devotion!!! #Kim is so ready to whatever insane shit chay throws at him #whatever you want baby lets make it happen #🤣

[desceros]

For infinite singularity, I was wondering, after Donnie takes reader out of the office through the portal…

What happens to the..crime scene and our psycho coworker? Especially what did the rest of the brothers do?

(Btw love ur work, ur a total inspiration! ✨💞drink water, steal sum sustenance, take care of yourself 💗)

As soon as you and Donnie are through the portal, Leo gets to work. 

Mikey’s in charge of keeping your coworker from doing anything stupid. A task he enjoys greatly, as it means he gets to sit and giggle on the guy’s chest and pretend he can’t hear him wheezing for breath where Donnie nearly choked him. Meanwhile, Raph is sent off to take care of getting the power back on. He’s no Donnie with tech and never will be, but he’s getting decent at stuff like this. They don’t need it, but it’ll make it easier when the cops finally show up to wipe up the mess.

“So, what exactly was the plan here, huh?” Leo asks your coworker. “You get kicks out of roughing up pretty girls?”

“She’s not some random girl. She’s my soulmate,” your coworker spits, vile descriptions of the things he planned on doing to you cut off when Leo gets a foot on the clown’s broken forearm. 

“Wow, that’s so weird. Here I thought she was my brother’s soulmate,” Leo says, waving his hand in the air and watching the rage purple your coworker’s face. “What with the whole can’t stand to be apart and gazing sappily into each other’s eyes thing they have going on.”

“My pure little dove wouldn’t fuck a monster. He’s forcing her.”

“Buddy, I can promise you, first hand account, she did. Also, kind of ironic considering I’m pretty sure you got caught with your hand in one hell of a cookie jar, don’t you think?”

Raph comes back. “Power’s on,” he says, his word the only indication that’s the case since he left the lights off. Better for them, just in case. 

“Good job. One last thing,” Leo says, putting more of his weight on your coworker’s arm and feeling the bones splinter beneath his heel. “What’s TCRI doing sending out hit squads? Last I checked, business wasn’t supposed to be this cut-throat.”

Between heaving breaths of agony, your coworker groans in wretched agony before he just starts to laugh and laugh and laugh. “You’re a funny guy.”

“Right? Everyone keeps saying it’s my brother, but man, I’m telling you, my lines are killer,” Leo says, a grin that’s all teeth slashing onto his face as he grinds his heel into shattered bone. 

“He ain’t gonna talk,” Raph says after a minute more of your coworker just laughing each time he stops gritting his teeth in pain. 

“I can make him do it,” Mikey says cheerfully, a smile that doesn’t match his eyes pulling into place. 

“…Raph’s right. We’re not going to get anything out of him,” Leo says, pulling his foot off your coworker’s arm. “Knock him out and call it in.”

“I’ll find her again,” your coworker grits through his teeth. “She’ll never be able to hide from me. I’ll haunt her forever. Even if it’s like this, it’ll only ever be me she thinks about. Forever and ever and—”

“Ohh, my god, shut up,” Mikey groans, and with a thwack, your coworker goes silent. He then looks up at Leo, tilting his head. “…I didn’t know you believed in soulmates, too, Leo!”

“…Of course I don’t,” Leo brushes off, turning to inspect the security camera, putting his shell to his brother’s gaze.

“Cops’re on the way,” Raph says, and the two watch as Mikey gets your coworker trussed like a turkey. 

“We’ll have Donnie send them the security footage. Doesn’t look like he tampered with the cameras,” Leo says. Cutting a portal, he jerks his head. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

Reappearing in the lair, Leo pulls up his phone.

neon leon (6:11 p.m.) hey hermano. everything okay over there? how she doing

neon leon (6:12 p.m.) bud? you good?

neon leon (6:15 p.m.) nerd says whaaaat

Narrowing his eyes, Leo starts to tap out the next message—dude if you don’t answer in two minutes i’m coming over and—before he freezes in place, thinks for a moment, then groans in disgust. 

“Did you get a hold of Donnie?” Raph asks, tilting his head in confusion when Leo brushes past with a wrinkled beak.

“Let’s give ‘em an hour then try again. Fuckin’ rabbits.”

“…Rabbits?”

Mikey pets Raph’s shell consolingly. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Wh—B—I’m the oldest?!”

#BECAUSE 66K WASN'T ENOUGH I GUESS #ask tag #tmnt #rise #day job au #fragment tag

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Joining the Steddie Valentine avalanche!

In all Steve's previous relationships, he was the one taking care of everything related to the Valentine's Day. Chocolates, roses, a nice candlelit dinner, a romantic movie - he did it all because it was expected of him. And sure, he enjoyed doing it, he loved showering his dates with gifts and affection, but it was always about meeting someone else's needs. And sure, dating a guy might be different, but Steve is a giver so he's fully prepared to do the whole spiel with Eddie. He's not fully sure if Eddie would like roses so he's researching, trying to blend the typical Valentine activities and gifts with Eddie's uniqueness. He wants everything to be perfect for Eddie because damn it, he deserves it more than anyone.

So when Eddie shows up under his window after his shift on February 7th, blasting Van Halen's "Why Can't This Be Love", just briefly shouting "stay up there baby, I'm serenading you here and for that you need a balcony or something!" before belting out the lyrics, adding a comment here and there that has Steve snickering in his window:

Whoa, here it comes That funny feeling again Winding me up inside Every time we touch

"And I would love to talk about the touching bit more but you've got neighbors, baby, and they're a nosy bunch, so-"

Hey, I don't know Oh, tell me where to begin 'Cause I never, ever, felt so much Hey!

And I can't recall Any love at all Oh, baby, this blows 'em all away

"And before you ask, yep, wanna talk about the blowing bit too, but still neighbors, we're moving to a cave in the mountains, I tell you..."

It's got what it takes So, tell me why can't this be love? Straight from my heart Oh, tell me why can't this be love?

He ends up kneeling under the window as the tape clicks and he looks at Steve with those large dark eyes, flashes him a toothy grin and digs in his pockets, producing a surprisingly well preserved envelope. "Steve Harrington, the sun of my life which, unlike real sun, isn't hurting my skin or making my head spin, well actually you do the second thing, but in a good way! So you're the superior sun for me. Where was I. Oh yeah. Be my Valentine? In a week. I think. I double-checked the calendar, so it should be a week. What do you say, pretty boy? You and me and some romance? Please say yes, I'm kneeling in the snow here and it's cold as fuck."

Steve is still wheezing with laughter when he assures Eddie that he will be his Valentine, he will be the sun of his life or anything he needs and offers to let him in and warm him but, but Eddie just blows him a kiss, wiggles his finger and shakes his head. "Na-ah Stevie, I've got preparations to do. Which means, no planning or worrying your pretty head, I will handle everything for our big day. Let me just slide this bad boy in," he shows the envelope again, "which I would love to, but innuendos aside, it's just this paper thing and through your door. Open it on the morning of 14th, yeah? And follow the instructions."

And Steve just smiles down at him and blows him a kiss in return, feeling silly but also excited. "Don't I always?"

They end up calling each other in the evening of February 13th, chatting about anything and everything. Steve starts yawning but when Eddie nudges him to go to sleep, he firmly rejects. "I consider anything past midnight morning, you know," he tells Eddie and Eddie's cackling fills his ears as they wait together for the date to change into 14th.

When Steve tears the envelope open with Eddie's quiet blessing, he's surprised to see that there's nothing concrete. Just Be ready at 10, Stevie. Comfortable clothes and that pretty smile of yours are the only two things you'll need.

Eddie snickers when Steve asks him about it. "You always follow instructions, Steve, but you're way too smart about it for your own good. See you in ten hours, love you!" And with that, the phone goes silent.

Steve Harrington knows exactly how Valentine's day normally goes. It's fairly pleasant. Very romantic, all that. It never occurred to him that maybe things could be different...and better.

Eddie picks him up at 10 with hot coffee in travel cups. He asks Steve to hold both and when he does so, Eddie reaches behind his back and produces a single flower, tucks it into Steve's hair. "Flowers are not ideal for where we're going, but there's no way you're not getting at least one," he says, quickly checks the neighborhood and presses his lips against Steve's cheek before heading to his van.

And out of all places he could have thought of, Eddie takes him to a basketball game. He proudly presents the tickets and ushers Steve in, squeezing next to him into uncomfortable plastic chairs. And Steve just stares because he was supposed to be the one taking care of things, he was supposed to choose whatever Eddie likes but Eddie is here, smiling at him, even looking excited. He can't help but ask then, thank him profusely, but Eddie didn't have to, they both know it's not exactly Eddie's thing, is Eddie going to be okay-

But Eddie stops him right there with a squeeze of his hand, warm against Steve's. "I appreciate you thinking about me, Steve, you always do and I love you for it. But you deserve something nice too, you know? And sure, I originally thought - let me give you the whole thing, flowers, chocolates, fancy dinner, but...the more I thought about it, it wasn't you. Or it was, but not really? Because I don't know if you really like those things, if you want to be reminded of those formal dinners with your parents, if you want to sit in a restaurant where we can't even share a dessert because people would be assholes about it. Here," he turns to the crowd humming with anticipation, "no one cares. No one watches us. So we can do something you like and I can hold your hand. And," he admits, pulling a strand of hair in front of his face, "I might have found your...comparison to chess or even strategic games inspiring. It sort of is like a battle. And I need a good fight dynamic for my next campaign for all those nuggets of yours, so...happy Valentine's day, Steve." He phrases it as a question, unsure whether Steve found the explanation enough, but the beaming smile and interlocking of their fingers tells him everything he needs.

Steve doesn't spend the Valentine's day of 1987 sitting in a restaurant with a pretty girl. He goes wild cheering with Eddie by his side, Eddie who shares his hobby as if it was his all along. Their hands are comfortably slotted together and they are drunk on it, being together in public, side by side. When the cheering gets too loud and Steve winces, his head warning him that the noise was too much, Eddie just smiles and reaches into his pocket, producing a carefully wrapped pair of earplugs.

Steve doesn't eat a fancy pasta dish, terrified his fingers will slip and the spaghetti will fly everywhere. He returns with Eddie to his and Wayne's small home (Wayne conveniently having a shift and then stopping by Scott's) where Eddie proudly presents him with a bucket of KFC because "I've heard from a reliable source that someone finds this finger lickin' good." The painful memory has been long overshadowed by the new love and Steve listens to more of Eddie's rambling, explanations on how he thought it's either something he knows Steve likes or experimenting and then eating an inedible disaster, and Steve can't help himself but kiss Eddie to shut him up so he can tell him it's perfect.

Steve doesn't watch a romantic comedy or a period drama that day. Instead, Eddie sits him down to The Golden Girls, one of Steve's not so guilty pleasures, and combs through his hair, laughing at the jokes and arguing with Steve which of the characters is the best.

Steve doesn't get a card, a box of chocolates or something similar. Instead, Eddie gives him a mix tape with all the songs that remind him of Steve, with short recorded explanations in between. Steve wants to keep the tape - and Eddie - forever.

And finally, Steve doesn't give Eddie any generic gift either. Instead, he presents Eddie with curtains for his new room - because Eddie is a self-proclaimed vampire and the morning after Valentine, Steve examines his neck and wonders if those claims were true - with an illustration he commissioned from Will, the Hellfire logo next to the Corroded Coffin one in vivid colors on the textile. As Eddie turns a lovely shade of pink and sputters how wonderful that is, Steve reaches around Eddie's neck and gently claps a chain there, letting Eddie examine the new guitar pick with a small "S+E" engraved into the back side.

Steve Harrington didn't do a single thing he normally does on a Valentine's day during 1987. And, as he whispered to Eddie under their covers when they were falling asleep, now that he saw what the holiday could be about, he could never go back.

#steddie ficlet #steddie fanfiction #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #steddie fic #steddie valentine #well that's it #happy valentine's day my lovely readers!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Oooh, can I ask what WH fics you've read that you'd recommend?

absolutely!

one i Strongly recommend is Strings Of Fate by A_Cypress_Coffin. its ongoing, 7/20 so far, with nicely sized chapters, Frank-centric FranklyDear , an intriguing take on how being puppets affects the characters, interesting dynamics & characterizations, beautifully natural dialogue - its just all around an absolute fucking Banger. ive re-read it like.... three times now lmao

then there's Because if you're not calm, I'm not calm. by krool_aid which also Fucks Severely. completed w/ 3 sizeable chapters, Frank-centric, & imo its simply Captivating. i loved their portrayal of Wally, the puppets being Puppets, their perception of their world, and also Frank's internal dialogue and slow-building breakdown. neat as hell!!!

Inside Jokes by The_PastelVoid made me CACKLE. i love me some corny ass jokes, and this has some top tier ones - delivered by Barnaby, of course. pure fluff and fun, and is guaranteed to give you a laugh & good feels

Goodnight, Wally! by PastelDemon is super cute! very light/minor angst that quickly turns into hurt/comfort that quickly becomes plain fluff. good fluff. very sweet. you might want to book a dentist's appointment after reading.

Goin’ Out of My Head by 5_24 is another one that just had me Wheezing. very fucking funny, i was grinning the whole way through. its chock full of the kind of humor that makes me want to take notes so i can better my own writing, you know? absolute Chefs Kiss comedy

Everybody has a Crush on Wally Darling by Venuswrites1711 is also a very cute one. the chapters are short but sweet and its definitely a pick-me-up read

#happy readings everyone and enjoy #this is pretty much all ive read so far that i actively recommend #and ohhh i do love to Recommend #rambles from the bog #welcome home

[lawsvalentine]

Getting High With Them • OP Men HC • (SFW)

Fem!reader

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Law

CW: drug use, cursing, humor, some fluff, slightly suggestive on Sanji’s and Law’s

Cee’s Note: Just vibes. This was really fun to write. Hope y’all enjoy!

Luffy

A newbie to weed, so when it hits it hits HARD

Mf thinks everything is so fucking funny when he is high

You could say a knock knock joke and he is on the floor wheezing

He’s the type to say the most random shit while high

“Y/N, isn’t it crazy that water is like wet air”

“Luffy, what-“

MUNCHIES! Somehow manages to be even more hungry than usual

You two are so obnoxiously loud like the whole crew can tell you two are high

He will say everything he is thinking about so don’t be surprised if he blurts his feelings out to you without a second thought

Zoro

We all know Zoro can hold his liquor but weed is a whole different story

Mans can barely function when he is high

Has the signature stoned look that looks like this

Completely spaces out, good luck trying to have a conversation with him

You wave a hand in front of his face “Earth to Zoro?”

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

He passes tf out within the first two hours of your smoke session

But don’t worry his cuddles make up for it

Sanji

He is surprisingly chill asf when high

He has smoked weed a couple times before with some chefs at the baratie so he’s not too foreign to it

One of the perks of getting high with the chef is he will whip up whatever you want when you have the munchies

Ya’ll be having the most deepest conversations about the meaning of life while high

Sanji already found you beautiful when sober but there is something about you when he is high that finds you breathtaking

“Am I high, or are your eyes sparkling right now, Y/N-Swan!”

“Nope, your just high, Sanji”

Oh and for some reason, weed makes him even more horny so you two end up having high sex after every session

Usopp

Paranoid AS FUCK

Mans is tripping out BAD

“Y/N!!!! MY THUMBS ARE GONE!” He says waving his fists in your face.

You gave him a blank stare as you unclenched his fist revealing his thumbs

“Oh….”

Now granted, you already knew Usopp’s claims of being a stoner was bullshit but you were curious to see how far he would take his lie

Mans could barely roll his blunt properly sgdjdj

When you and Usopp’s high was wearing off, you told him he didn’t have to pretend to be a stoner

He admits he was only trying to impress you and make you think he was cool because he had a crush on you

Law

This man right here is a COMPLETELY different person when he is high

Like a full 180

Mans is smiling more, cracking jokes, and dare I say actually laughing????

“WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LAW?!”

Law just chuckles at your outburst, causing your eye to twitch, not believing what you are seeing

Perks of getting high with a doctor, he is also your supplier

He’s got the GOOD SHIT if you know what I mean

Law is a lot more bolder with PDA when he is high

Whether it is his hand on your thighs or you sitting on his lap

Just like Sanji, weed makes Law more horny than usual, so if you’re on his lap you will definitely feel his dick get hard

#one piece #luffy headcanons #monkey d. luffy #luffy x reader #zoro headcanons #roronoa zoro x y/n #sanji headcanons #sanji x reader #usopp x y/n #usopp headcanons #law headcanons #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law #law x reader

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

Teetering

Tw/Swearing.

Ao3

Previous-Next

There was no sun here, but the day was bright as Damien ran through the garden. The plants chased after him, vines and roots snaking and snapping around his feet. Above him, Phantom floated, weaving in and out of branches. Suddenly, a willow branch snapped forward, and Damien had to duck out of the way: a front roll and a flip as he dodged the greenery. Then a petunia, teeth bared, lunged, and he jumped backward, not seeing the island's edge until he was rocking back. His foot slipped, and for a sickening moment, Damien was falling down into the endless void of the Infinite Realms. Then Phantom catches him and holds him in his arms as they fly to the great tree at the garden's center, where they land on the highest branches. From here, Damien can see the whole island. It is beautiful, lush, and wild, so different from the training grounds back home. He goes to pick one of the odd black fruits, which hang heavy and ripe, but he's stopped.

“Don’t,” Phantom says, “The fruit isn't safe.”

“But I've seen you eat them.”

“Yeah, but I live here.

You have a home to get back to.”

.......................................................................................

Pennyworth was the first to recover. Stepping past the floor-bound form of Todd balled up and wheezing from laughing, though Damian couldn't think what was so funny, he swept what family he could towards the living room. Damien was unsure just how much of the family was planning on joining them for dinner, but for the time being, it seemed to be just the five of them. Phantom, for his part, gathered his board-line hysterical boyfriend up into his arms and followed after. It was odd to see such a thin person carrying a man at least two hundred pounds heavier as if it were nothing. Strange, Damian faintly noticed he was smiling. When did he ever?... No matter.

The sitting room was, like all of the manor, spacious and decadent, with paneled wine-red walls stretching up so high they seemed to curve to the chandelier, not as large or beautiful as the one in the main hall or even the one in the dining room but still magnificent in its own right. If there was one thing Damien appreciated about living in the Manor quite as much as the freedom it afforded him, it was the sheer beauty and care given to each room. As much as he'd hate to admit it, he didn't know how Pennyworth maintained such a large space on his own. There simply where not the hours in the day. Even attempts to shadow the man had proven fruitless in explaining how he managed.

Finally, Todd seemed to have calmed himself to the point where it was no longer a struggle to speak over him. Father, standing stiffly in the corner where the light was weakest and glaring daggers through Phantom, was the first to speak.

"Who are You."

Damien opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off with a sharp glance.

"I mean..." Phantom hesitated, seemingly unsure about how to continue. " I'm Phantom. I used to babysit Dami when he was little."

"You were part of the League of Shadows?"

"No!" Phantom seems somewhat over-emphatic in Damien's opinion, not that anyone had asked.

"No, I'm..." He glanced over to Damien, "I'm the king of the Infinite Realms, Dami just used to visit sometimes when he wanted to get away for a bit and I would keep an eye on him."

"What are the Infinite Realms? How did he get there?"

"Oh you know," he floundered, "League of Shadows... Forbidden magic... all that Fun Stuff."

"Elaborate"

Surprisingly, it was Todd who spoke next.

“Look, the League had a natural portal to the Realms they kept squirreled away ok? It was a whole big secret; only the top members were supposed to even know about it.”

“Like the Lazarus Pit.”

“Yeah,”

“Is it dangerous?”

“It's a giant hole in reality leading to another dimension,” Todd said, irritation evident, “ not a fucking Chucky Cheese. Of course it's dangerous; that's why we closed it.”

“We?” Phantom snorted

“Yeah, yeah Mister I-close-holes-in-reality-for-shits-and-giggles. Not all of us can be fucking One Punch Men. ‘Sides, I helped. Hell knows when you were gonna get around to it if I didn't threaten to leave you sleeping on the couch.”

“Hel doesn't know anything about scheduling and you know it.”

Father cut in, interrupting their fond bickering. Silently, Damien wondered how long Todd and Phantom had been dating.

“So the portal has been taken care of.”

“Yep!” Phantom said, “I closed that dumb thing right up!”

“Are there any others?”

“Yeah, but most natural portals don't stay open long enough to be a problem. A stable portal is a little like a fairy; real, but rare enough that you can keep the salt at home.”

Father blinked, unsure how to react to that answer. Damien remembered this; the strange explanations that brought up more questions than answers. As a child, Damien had always found this extremely irritating. It was reassuring to see that this had not changed.

“What is the Infinite Realm?”

Again, Todd answered.

“Exactly what it says on the tin; it's a realm, and it's infinite. Basically, it's a space between universes connecting them all together, and ‘cause there’s infinite other universes, there’s infinite space between them. It's like driving through Kansas. Most folks don't think about the people who take care of those endless corn fields.”

Father glared at Todd, clearly frustrated with his butting in. He very purposefully turned to Phantom.

“Damien said you were king?”

“Yep! Won the title after I beat the last guy into the ground when he tried to flatten the midwest!”

“What does that mean?” Father gritted his teeth, not used to all of this talking. “What duties come with being King of the Infinite Realms?”

Again, Phantom hesitated, glancing over to Damien as if trying to decipher some great mystery, and again, Todd stepped in. Interesting. Irritating.

“Same shit that comes with being King anywhere. He sits through boring ass meetings and makes sure no dumbasses try and kill each other.”

“Hn”

“So,” Greyson said, stepping purposefully between Father and Todd, “How’d you two meet?”

He flashed his signature “socialite” smile. Phantom met it in a wide parody of a grin, eyes impossibly wide and hair glowing ever brighter. Before he could speak, Pennyworth, who Damien was sure had been by the door leading to the front hall, stepped in from the dining room.

“Excuse me, sirs,” he said, voice as level and unreadable as ever, “but it seems dinner is ready.”

Tag Cultists

@mur-ururu @krzys2000 @soren1830 @fisticuffsatapplebees @emergentpanda-blog @heirxofxtime @plotwholls @phoenixdemonqueen @avalnfear @historyboiiiiii @rangerhorsetug @zgirlxy @mistrfuzzles @thegreawizards @aroranorth-west @emeraldcorpral @the-archer-goddess @gin2212 @undead-essence @eleiteranger

#danny phantom #dc x dp #dpxdc #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #damien wayne #alfred pennyworth #dead on main #danny can't lie #not well anyways #and he's bad at not saying things #Jason has none of these issues #and he loves bugging B #a match made in the zone #Danny doesn't want to tell Damien about the zone because he knows what that kid’s childhood was like #and he wants him to have some good memories untainted by death #he is gonna tell B but he wants to do it in private #tw swearing #Jason can't open his mouth without swearing #also #Pennyworth is weird #more on that later #Dick’s perspective next chapter #I'm working on the AO3 version but I'm gonna have my friend read over that one so it may come out a little different

[ctitan98official]

Anonymous: Hello!! Can I request the Dimetrescu’s? Y/N being extremely possessive :) Like so possessive to the point that if any of the maids even glanced at them with any sort of intention Y/N just goes fucking apeshit? Better yet, Heisenberg says something at a meeting (or whatever they do) about the dimetrescu’s and Y/N Legit threatens him? Lmao, I just see it being a funny concept of Y/N having the personality of a feral dog and the ladies are just: “Awe, they’re so adorable 🥰🥰🥰”

Yeah! Feral Y/N is a funny idea. I’ve definitely gotten into a few physical fights defending girlfriends (And being jealous) before. I got this. I went in a more protective direction for some, though. Let’s get into it!

Alcina:

Alcina is quite possessive of you, that’s for sure. However, what she doesn’t know is that you are also very possessive of her.

When Alcina has to go to family meetings, she occasionally takes you along.

One time, Karl was starting his usual insults and ragging on Alcina, but you weren’t having it.

You marched straight over to him and got up in his face. “You got a problem with my girl, Karl?” You ask, pissed.

Karl was surprised to see you getting so angry at him. He thought you two were good friends.

“Well, I was just-” Karl begins.

“You were just what, huh?” You say pushing him pretty hard.

Karl was caught off guard and fell on his ass from you shoving him.

You stand over him and hold him down with your foot on his chest. “Are we gonna have any more problems, Karl? I think you should apologize to Alcina, now.” You tell him and grind your foot harder on his chest.

Karl coughs and splutters from the weight of your foot on him, but manages to wheeze out “Sorry!”

You’re satisfied and take your foot off his chest. “Great!” You say and happily go back to snuggle with Alcina.

Alcina is blushing like mad and feels a little bit aroused from your display. She’ll make sure to “Thank you” later.

Bela:

You and Bela enjoy going for walks around the village. It’s usually peaceful, but sometimes villagers approach to insult Bela and blame the Lords for all of the problems in the village.

Bela is incredibly upset when this happens. She’s unsure of what to do, but you have no problem standing up for her.

On one walk, a villager sneers at you and Bela and starts spouting vitriol. Bela begins to shut down. You’re pissed.

“Hey, why don’t you look in the fucking mirror and realize that your life sucks because of you. Quit blaming others for your problems, idiot!” You yell and protectively push Bela behind you.

The villager is livid and comes over to sock you in the face. You beat him to it. You punch the ever loving shit out of him and he goes falling over, yelping in pain.

“Try it again, asshole!” You scream and lean over him.

Bela, sensing that you’re getting even angrier, frantically tugs you away and guides you back to the castle.

Once you two are a safe distance away, you turn to Bela. “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Bela giggles and cups your face with her hands. “I’m fine, Y/N. But it is nice to know that I have my own bodyguard now.” She says and kisses you.

You’d be her bodyguard anytime. You love her so much.

Cassandra:

Cass hates when she has to meet with prospective clients for the wine business. Typically, this is Bela’s job, but her older sister is helping Alcina with something else today so here she is.

The only upside is that you’re here with her. As you two wait for the client, she talks to you and gives you little pecks on the cheek. It’s nice.

When the client does show up, 15 minutes late, Cass adopts an air of professionalism (Which is kinda hot to see) and welcomes the sleazy guy in.

You don’t like the way he’s looking at Cass and you shoot daggers at him the whole time.

Towards the end of the meeting, it’s clear the guy doesn’t want to do business but rather wants to take Cass on a date.

“I’d be honored if you would join me for dinner tonight.” He tells her. Cass just scoffs, but you see red.

“Actually, she’s taken, buddy.” You say standing up and escorting the guy out.

“Thanks for wasting our time today. Don’t ever come back or we’re gonna have a problem, understand?” You threaten and literally push him out the door. The guy looks like a deer in headlights as you close the door in his face.

You turn to Cass… Who looks really turned on.

“Bedroom… Now.” She says, breathing heavily.

Hell yeah, this day isn’t turning out to be bad at all.

Daniela:

Dani is so sweet. Sometimes, she has difficulty standing up for herself. That’s why it’s good she has you.

Certain maids, who have been employed at the castle for a while, feel that they shouldn’t have to do as much for Dani because she always “Makes the worst messes”. However, they’re often pretty rude about it.

One morning, Dani comes across a maid that she has known for years. You just happen to be with her.

“Hello, Ingrid! Would you mind changing the sheets on my bed and just straightening up my room a bit? I’d really appreciate it!” She says in her usual cheery voice.

Ingrid just rolls her eyes and huffs. “You know, Lady Daniela, it might be good for you to start doing your own chores for once. Either way, I don’t have time today.” She says and walks off with a grunt.

Dani is close to tears at the rude way Ingrid just spoke to her. That makes you extremely angry.

“Hey, Ingrid. Come back over here.” You order between clenched teeth.

The maid groans and walks back over. “What?” She spits.

“I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but you’re employed in the castle as a maid. In fact, you are assigned to Daniela personally, right? So why don’t you suck it up and go do your job before I report you to the Countess for insubordination. Got it?” You seethe.

At the mention of Alcina, the maid stands up straight and nods her head before hurrying to clean Daniela’s room.

You roll your eyes at the little chicken shit, but Dani tackles you and covers your face in kisses.

“My hero!” Dani exclaims. You’re happy you were able to help.

Masterlist

#alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #re8 #re8 village #re8 lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitriscu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu x y/n #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x reader

[st4rr-girrl]

Gang hcs with a crackhead! Reader

You alrdy know that Two-bit, soda, and Steve would love you sm

Like you match their energy and you’re fun asf to be around

Darry would love you, but you’d just be such a handful for him

Since he’s alrdy dealing with a whole group of depressed yet crazy kids lmfao

You’d probably hang out w two the most, cause he always has energy

Y’all tease tf out of each other

And it’s the funniest shit to the gang

They find y’all so amusing

You’ve almost gotten kicked out of multiple places due to disturbance lmfao

You’re always bouncing off the walls and other people think ur fuckin weird lmaoao

Not that you care though

But if someone makes fun of you in public and you’re right by them….

Uh-oh.

They’re in for a treat

They better sick down and buckle up lmaoo

You and two-bit would roast tf out of whoever made fun of you

And it’s actually so funny

Like I bet soda and Steve would be wheezing.

Anyways—

When you enter a room, you like to make it known that you’re there lmao.

You walked into a room that only Steve was in

“Hey Stevie-bear” you shouted when he was two feet away from you ☠️

He looked at you like “bitch wtf-“

“Don’t ever call me that again”

“Awhhh ur such a bully Stevie wevie”

You laughed— obnoxiously— before leaving to go annoy someone else.

And another time

“TWO-TWO BEAR!!” you saw two-bit outside with the rest of the gang

You ran up to him and jumped on his back and he almost toppled over in surprise lmao

“Omg hey guyysssss” you said, while the gang stared at you in shock lmao

They didn’t expect that

At all

You looked behind yourself.

“Fuck is y’all looking at??😭😭” ☠️☠️you made a fake cry voice

Two bit stood there like 🧍

Anyways it can be kinda hard for the gang to keep up w you sometimes but you make sure to slow down for them 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

Cus y’all work together and stick together like a cute little family 🤭🤭

(Wrote this cause I am the crackhead friend lmaoaka)

#the outsiders #the outsiders ponyboy #the outsiders x reader #johnny cade #johnny cade x reader #the outsiders dally #dally winston #darry curtis #the outsiders x you #the outsiders two bit #the outsiders darry #the outsiders steve #the outsiders johnny #the outsiders sodapop #sodapop curtis x reader #sodapop curtis #sodapop x reader #sodapop #dally winston x reader #dallas winston x reader #dally #dally x reader #two bit matthews x reader #two bit x reader #two bit mathews #two bit #ponyboy curtis x reader #ponyboy x reader #steve randle x reader #darry curtis x reader

[allastoredeer]

~Lucifer blanches. He looks around, as if trying to find a sense of Alastor’s words somewhere in the trash-heap he calls a room, before rounding back to him, lips pulling up in disgust. “Are you asking me out?”

“Ahaha!” Alastor laughs, slapping him so hard on the back it nearly takes Lucifer off his feet. “Oh, Heavens no. I’m just proposing we let Hell continue thinking that you and I are,” he waves his hand, searching for the word, “in cahoots. In that way.”~

This is golden comedy right here. Honestly every time I read ur fic I always start wheezing so hard I can’t breathe, u are an amazing writer, hope u know that. When I saw ur last update on the ‘damage control’ chapter i was so excited i devoured it so fast help

Alastor saying he wants to be in ‘cahoots’ with Lucifer it’s so funny to me cause no one use that term anymore, and Lucifer is just downright dumbfounded that they are even having the conversation. I can imagine the shadow rolling his eyes at them, we need more sassy shadow moments, he is so underrated. 😭😭

I love that Lucifer is trying to respect Al boundaries, especially after the ‘incident’ , and doesn’t pry to much on his scars, but now I am curious about what did Al meant. Does he not remember who did that to him? 🥺

Also I am curious about what they gonna tell to the others about their new found relationship. I don’t think Lucifer would want to lie to Charlie, but I also think that it would be too risky to make the whole crew knew they are acting, someone might slip. And it’s not like Al is gonna make it easy for Lucy anyway. If they want to be credible, less ppl knowing it’s best course of action for me.

Last thing~ I really wanted to thank you, cause ur fic really brings me a lot of joy since I recently only been able to find happiness in small things like these , and I I can’t wait to read more🌈

Hehehe, Alastor purposefully refusing to go into depth about their "sexual relationship," and even side-stepping outright calling it a relationship, is what's going to make it all more entertaining when he actually has to commit to the bit. Cuz you see, they're not fucking. They're "in cahoots."

It's different.

(I love Alastor's Shadow being sassy. If it's attached to Alastor, it has to be. I take no critiques.)

😈 Alastor and his scars is something I'm very excited to get into it. I've been thinking about them for a while, and while it may take a bit to actually get the answer, I'm very eager to get there when we do.

The way I see it, Alastor doesn't want to tell the others (as they already know their not actually dating--as he made VERY clear last time), but Lucifer isn't going to be okay with lying to Charlie. Out of the group, Alastor knows he can trust Husk and Niffty to keep it a secret. Maybe Angel Dust too. But he's most worried about Charlie and Vaggie.

Vaggie isn't a good liar, and Charlie's such an open, bright, heart-on-her-sleeves person, he doesn't trust her to keep up the ruse without letting something slip--most likely by accident.

But Lucifer is stubborn. He doesn't want to lie to Charlie, and if he tells Charlie, Charlie is going to tell Vaggie. If Vaggie knows, well, we already know she has a hard time lying on the spot, so if the others see Alastor and Lucifer suddenly "in cahoots," and ask about it, she's not going to be able to come up with a plausible excuse on the fly.

This is all to say, the next installment is going to be full of silly Hazbin Crew hijinks, where Alastor is forcefully enrolled into Chaggies Dating 101 Crash Course, and he is definitely not setting the grading curve. (And maybe we'll even get a bit of HuskerDust thrown in there, who knows. Certainly not me).

And it warms me so much to know that my fic can bring you joy in a time that such things are scarce 🥺 I can't wait to share more of the story with you!

#seriously #getting asks like these brighten my day to know end #I like keeping actual story elements and plot hooks a secret until we get there in the fic #but GOD #when you guys ask questions about it I just want to blab everything #ive got so many thoughts on the brain and I wanna SHAARRREEEE #Im so happy my fic is helping through a hard time #that's such an amazing thing to hear and i sincerely hope that whatever situation your in gets better #in the meantime #pls accept these absolute goofuses stumble their way into an actual queer relationship #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #lucifer morningstar #the radio demon #appleradio #lucifer magne #asks #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #niffty #charlotte morningstar #vaggie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #husk #hazbin husk

[persesphonestears]

Saw an incorrect quote thing from @blingblong55 with the request/idea from @san-emi and it gave me a silly idea.

So here's my sorta take on the joke though all credit besides the few things I changed up belongs to the two previously tagged.

TW'S - selfharm, humour as a coping mechanism, sorta dark topic, light-hearted, [as stated below this isn't a way to make light of selfharm, I've been through it and use humour and jokes like these to help cope.]

TW - Joke contains 'dark' humour or someone/[Reader] using humour to cope with selfharm. If this is triggering for you please don't read. {nothing graphic} (This is not me making light of people who use selfharm as a coping mechanism.) !!Keep reading at your own risk!!

Gaz: so R/n, what do you do in your free time when your not 'round us lot?

R/n: oh you know, the usual, cutting myself

Gaz: huh oh cool.. *registers what they said*…wot?

Soap, head perking up: ‘aye, com again lad?

*Ghost stares[glares] hard at R/n*

R/n: a lotta sLacK *slaps knees, wheezing* gotcha all there didn’t I? Huh? Ehhhhh? *under their breath* I'm so funny

Gaz: you little shit. really?

Ghost, muttering under his breath: bloody fuckin hell

Soap: steamin' Jesus mate... *nervous laugh*

R/n: Yeah but I mean I haven't relapsed in a while! *smiling like they didn't just admit to their whole team they probably need more mandatory therapy sessions*

Everyone besides R/n: *deadpanned* oh for fucks sake.

.Minutes later.

Price: Yes Laswell, they made another one. Yes of course I've told them to stop making jokes about it. Hell, I've even given them more training when they do it yet it continues! I just- get them more therapy sessions and talk with the therapist to see what medication they should be taking.

R/n: *in Prices office with a frown/pout for being told off again*

#cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod x reader #cod modern warfare #cod mw2 x reader #arctic writes #cod #cod mw2 ghost #simon 'ghost' riley #cod ghost #ghost cod #call of duty incorrect quotes #cod incorrect quotes #incorrect cod quotes #male reader insert #reader insert #incorrect quotes #call of duty #call of duty fanfic #call of duty fic #call of duty headcanons #call of duty imagine #call of duty meme #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare ii #call of duty mw2 #call of duty mwii #call of duty x male reader #call of duty x reader

[sadlyiamgay]

Yandere Genshin Men Brainrot

Im going fucking insane. Anyways have any of you guys played silly or furry wisher? It's like a cute and funny genshin ripoff, a little boring at times but I enjoy clicking away in slime valley. While playing though an idea popped into my brain, "what if the real genshin characters (that's hopelessly inlove with you) finds out the reason why you haven't played genshin in a while? Only to realize that you're playing a genshin meme game" And then these men go and hack the shit out of the game because monika vibes I love. Uh might update from time to time, thie will only include Zhongli and Neuvillette (they're literally the only well built 5 stars I have. How the fuck do we build genshin characters I'm so confused)

By the way check out the games (Silly Wisher, Furry Wisher). It's fun and amusing

--ZHONGLI: His reaction to the realization of you playing an.. Odd ripoff(?) Game was one of pure amusement, the Geo archon couldn't blame you either, I mean, your poor little head couldn't handle the amount of unfinished and WAY too hard quests, he thought you were taking a break, but after a while (when you eventually and finally returned) he finds out pretty quickly from your small mumbles and comments that he oh so always adores, and out of pure curiosity decided to break out of the game codings and go through your apps, seeing two new odd games on your phone, Silly wisher and.. Furry.. Wisher..? Of course he broke in the new favorite games you had in your device, and cooing at the fact that you *still* main and favor him even in these joke games. He also quickly realized that he could easily possess the John Lee (he was a little offended by the name, but quickly laughed along when he heard you wheeze everytime you played the game) as well as Meatball. Quickly making both the characters extremely and suspiciously.. **Overpowered.**

"... Wait. Since when did Johnny do 100k damage??? Is this what happens if you level them up to level 15??? "

- YOU, mumble, absolutely amused and still giggling after listening to Dr. Snek's voiceline. Zhongli smiles, happy that you were enjoying your gameplay, he felt grateful, even though he was a little upset that you decided to play some ripoff game instead of properly spending time with him, Zhongli was happy that he didn't have to hide his lovestruck and flustered face, in the real game he always tried his best to mess with the camera so that it would never face him, he used to be able to hide his true emotions, but overtime it got harder. Extremely, harder (haha that's what she said). So it was a breath of fresh air on seeing you without you yourself seeing him, letting himself indulge in fantasies that he could never think of whenever you were around. Especially with the other game too. He could stare at you all the time, and you'd brush it off. Each time Meatball came around and jumped into the screen you'd coo, making him fall harder (down the stairs of) inlove with you. Each time you needed a copy of him for the whole "gene splicer" He'd come home willingly. Hell, there was a pull you did once that consisted of him and only him. He of course didn't question the fact that the dog version (that sounds so wrong) of him has alot kids. But he brushes it off. Replacing the thought of his genetics being merged is weird, into a fantasy where all those merged, genetically made kids were yours and his.

Congratulations, you gave this old man wattpad fantasies. Fucking hell, he wants to pull you into the game to do that. Though, that thought can and should wait. For now, he wants to watch and stare at you longer. *Just* a little longer.

--NEUVILETTE, the hydro dragon was always a man with (questionable) morals. But even he, the mascot of Justice has his limits. He was upset at the fact that you weren't as active as before, sure he sympathized with your overwhelmed situation (especially since it was he who activated half the quests), but that mean you can literally just leave like that. It wasn't his fault that his curiosity about the game you kept mumbling about made him break out of the game he's bounded in. What was his reaction to Hydropump Judge and Judgy Cat? Well, he laughed. Not because he was upset, but because he was *still* favored. He was still your main. Even if there was no differences in attacks when it came to grinding in slime valley. So he rewards you with extremely overpowered and multiple copies of him, it also doesn't help the fact that he could literally also just stare at you for hours and hours. And you still brush it off. You weren't weirded out. You weren't reporting to the game developers. Unlike when you felt uncomfortable when he forced the camera to not be able to move and freezing the option to switch through the characters. Just you and him. Eye to eye.

"Man I wished you had a voiceline, Neuvi. I mean, your banner description in this game is absolutely hilarious, but I genuinely want another funny audio. Aside fron Dr. Snek"

-YOU mumble as you kept spamming the attack button, watching your highscore be passed, you questioned why the character was able to hit high numbers, but you didn't question it, you never did. Brushing it off and thinking that it must be because he had the highest level out of everyone. Neuvillette smiles. Happy, satisfied and lovestruck at how calm and adorable you were. He loved your expressions, all of it. But he *adored* your relaxed state. Since it was rare to see you like this. He wished the Fontaine update and his banner came earlier when you joined the game.

...Maybe he should lower the world level himself? He wants to see you in this state more often. He wants to see you happy and carefree, proud that you finally finished your quests. He thought of this as he kept staring at you through Judgy cat. You had fallen asleep, not minding the fact that he was on screen a while ago. You didn't question it, since it was part of the games anyways. Seeing you in such a state makes him want to break out of your damn electronic and drag you with him. But that can wait, for now he should think of a way to make you play genshin more often.

#I got hit by a car today #Sagau genshin #WHAT THE FUCK does Sagau mean #Yandere i think?? #Zhongli my love #neuvilette genshin