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scorpihoe1111 · 1 month

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Astrology Observations: Part 3🎀🩷

Mars aspecting the ASC can give the individual a dominating demeanor, but also mainly depends on which aspect. Ex: Harmonius Aspects (trine/sextile)=Straightforward, honest, stand their ground, strong boundaries, not one to be pushed around. Harsh Aspects (square/opp)= Aggressive, domineering, rude, blunt, obnoxious.

(TW: Death) Your 8H sign and planet may tell you how you pass away. Ex: Gemini moon in the 8H= Lungs, breathing problems, asthma. Moon= emotional turmoil, stress, heart break etc

Asteroids like Medusa (149) or Aphrodite (1388) can show you what people envy about you, what they admire, where they may attempt to bring you shame etc. Ex: Medusa in the 1H can attract envy over their appearance, their aura and demeanor. People could attempt to “humble” these individuals often. Aphrodite in the 2H can make others admire your money, your possessions, may wanna know how you have what you have so they can have it too.

Aphrodite (1388) can result in people not just admiring wherever the house it’s in, but also being malicious and petty over it since they feel they deserve it more.

Lilith in the houses is similar to this, and can result in those around you being annoyed when you do things in regards to the house and sign it is in. Ex: Sagittarius Lilith in the 2H= people could be upset when you relax, when you have fun, when you don’t play by made up rules and standards, when you’re genuinely happy, when you have nice things, when you take a break, when you indulge etc, because they have this mindset of “I never got to do that/have that, why should you”. Lilith in the 1H= people getting annoyed that you may be beautiful and they’re not, painting you as a villain because you’re pretty.

Cancer moons are surprisingly really good with holding boundaries with people in their lives. These people can be lover girls/boys, for sure; but they refuse to let people take advantage of them. Their love, effort and care is reserved for those who will appreciate them in return.

(TW: Mental Health) Take this with a grain of salt since it’s just an observation and not a fact, but those I’ve met with a combo of Scorpio/Gemini in personal planets in a chart are usually diagnosed with BPD, while those I’ve met with either Virgo/Aries/Gemini in a chart combined have usually been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder/OCD. 12H and 8H stelliums I’ve also met have had some sort of mental illness such as BPD or Schizophrenia.

Jupiter in the 1H, Sag/Pisces risings and/or Jupiter aspecting ASC/personal planets usually manage to get out of difficult situations easily. These people easily attract the help they need, the resources to do what they need, the money to get them where they want to be; very easily. Even when people with these placements/aspects get in trouble they usually manage to make it out very easily as well. Jupiter blesses and makes lucky anything it touches.

People think that Mercury in the 1H might usually talk alot about themselves, and while that may be true; it’s also true that they simply attract people who love to know about them and ask questions in regards to them. Mercury 1H individuals seem to be interesting to others and peak others curiosity about them. Others find them fascinating, thus constantly asking questions about them.

On the other hand, Mercury 3H individuals may be very close with their siblings, or their siblings can be popular/known/famous which could make the 3H person known for their siblings. This results in the 3H person consistently hearing about their siblings, getting asked questions or discussing topics in regards to their siblings. Same thing with school, this person may have either really good or really bad grades in regards to school so their main conversations with others could be in regards to school topics.

A Virgo rising individual at their worst can be obsessed with popularity/attention/validation (Leo 12H) amongst their peers. They may not come off that way, and they themselves may not even know that they secretly love being in the center. Without realizing, they subconsciously try their hardest to be the best at everything, the smartest, the prettiest/handsomest, and when at their lowest they have no issue with taking down others who they deem threatening to their spotlight. They can also be secretly judgmental of those who they deem to be lesser, or not as attractive than they are.

Similarly, I’ve noticed Scorpio Risings at their worse can be very jealous and insecure individuals as well when it comes to appearances/validation. I’ve noticed this in women with this placement mostly, but when they’re at their lowest/undeveloped, they’re the type to only be friends with or surround themselves around people they think are worse than they are whether appearance, status, popularity wise etc. Undeveloped Scorpio rising females can be very competitive and refuse to have someone who’s possibly better than they are around them, since they don’t want to be compared to the other person or not chosen/not the favorite.

Libra moon’s are the people that start the drama and then say “I don’t like drama” lol. What they really mean is they love it, as long as they’re not involved

If you find that you always have bad experiences with those whose signs fall in your 11H, check your sidereal chart. Odds are your 11H sign in your western chart is the 12H sign in your sidereal, which would explain the bad experiences.

Aquarius women are always so successful in everything they do, I’ve rarely met an Aquarius woman that doesn’t have their shit together in every category. They’re giving face, body, money, career, healthy love life and social life etc. The men on the other hand…

Yes, those with Saturn in the 7H have a hard time finding the one. They go through years of cycles and repetitive situations in love but those who find their person find their FOREVER person. People with this placement may be the last to be in a relationship/get married amongst their peers, however they’re usually the happiest and most successful once they do compared to friends or family who just hurried up and settled and usually separate/divorce. Saturn 7H’s standards and boundaries may also seem to high or unrealistic to those around them, but they’re just asking for bare minimum. It only seems that way to others around them because they were raised in a group or environment that had no standards low key.

The good thing about 2H stelliums is that you attract money, possessions and success super easily. The bad thing is that those around you could ONLY see you as your success/money, and may try to bleed you dry of what you have and take advantage. Strong boundaries and not being overly giving is recommended with these placements.

Mars in the 12H can attract people who are secretly aggressive or hostile towards them. They may never know someone is holding a grudge on them and they may attract secret animosity or competition as a result. May have issues with male figures in their life and won’t even know it.

Jupiter in the 6H, especially with Cancer or Libra there; get along with animals sooo well. These are literal pet whisperers and it’s rare for them to not have at least 3 cats/dogs. They love animals more than people sometimes.

Part 4 will be out soon. 👏🏻

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sagigirlie · 2 years

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Astro observations pt.5

🏹 Sagittarius rising have great masculine and plump bottoms and thighs (also legs in general) It’s usually their most attractive feature. They have an athletic build to them that many people find hot. *could be relevant to Sagittarius inner placements as well

🏹 Libra risings are usually beautiful and very elegant looking, Even if they don’t fall under the beauty standards. They have a quite flirty demeanor and posses the ability to attract people easily.

🏹 Aries placements especially suns don’t know how to accept or listen to criticism. They just attack without trying to reflect. Can have a lot of protecting walls around them caused by insecurities they have within themselves that make them feel like everyone is against them or attacking them at all times so they react accordingly. They’re more sensitive than they let other people see, therefore their reactions are too intense at times. Fight mode is on at all times.

🏹 Also Aries placements especially sun, Venus & mars will flirt like their life’s depend on it. If they want someone they’ll do what they can to get them.

🏹 Cancer placements feel more comfortable getting mad or projecting their anger or resentments towards people that are closer to them even if it has nothing to do with them. That’s cause they feel more comfortable showing and directing their emotions to people they trust more or are closer to. That can be quite fucked up and unfair to the people closest to them, to deal with things they shouldn’t be dealing with. It’s almost like they’ll sometimes be nicer to people way less close to them or even strangers, than to their close circle.

🏹 Venus square Uranus people have electrifying energy and appeal to them. They stand out somehow, whether cause of looks/ charisma/ sense of humor. Can have a lot of people crushing on them as their’s something about them and their vibe that looks unavailable & even detached at times. Yet they look like someone exciting and unique to be around.

🏹 Capricorn Venus can be quite insecure. Wether about their looks, social abilities, charm. As they mature they seem to get more attention though. They probably matured at quite a young age. Can be attracted to partners that are either much older or much younger than them. Can play a parent figure in relationship or seek that from their partners. Takes relationships seriously and sees them as a responsibility and duty. Pretty introverted. Doesn’t show emotions quickly as it takes time for them to trust and they don’t feel comfortable with or open up to just anyone. cautious and polite with strangers.

🏹 Chart ruler in 12th house people can be incredibly sensitive and humanitarian. They can easily feel and relate to other people’s pain and as I’ve mentioned before are more prone to suffer from chronic diseases (usually from a young age), probably bc of their intense sensitivity and insecurity they can have. Can be more prone to addictions and depression/ anxiety. Very intuitive , spiritual and can be quite psychic. They have a very alluring, gentle and appealing energy/look to them. Many extremely famous people have that placement, probably because it’s easier to idolize them as they can have a very mysterious and even glamorous vibe to them.

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aldeanotes · 5 months

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the art of cooking

aemond / modern!reader, 16+, fluff / comedy / mild angst in later plot points. inspiration taken from kdrama mr. queen. reader is very bi and loves girls so much.

summary: in which you are a famous young chef whose soul was transported into the body of some way too pretty and privileged noble woman. oh, and you’re supposed to marry a prince or whatever. anyway, can you test this to see if it's ready ?

warnings: reader is batshit wild and doesn't have time for westerosi norms : ). characters will be ooc at times and this story is not entirely canon compliant.

author's notes: sorry for the very long delay !!! i've had so much going on !!!

tag list: @azaleapotterblack, @aurorathi

chapter two: / 5.2k words

Sitting before Otto and Alicent Hightower, you realize, quite bluntly, you don’t want to be here. They’re going to think you’re out of your mind if you speak the truth of the situation – you fell in some water and then woke up here in this place – but it’s the truth nonetheless. Given their hardened expressions (that Otto gives you and Alicent has the mercy to give it to the floor instead of you), you have a feeling they already don’t like the situation as they perceive it.

Which is that the younger prince’s betrothed (you make a face whenever they refer to this relation) has suffered a memory loss and the greatest doctors of this age can’t seem to fix it through traditional means.

Alicent takes in a deep breath, finally breaking her intense eye contact with the floor and running her hands briefly across her face in slight distress. Though, you have a feeling she’s a little bit of a mess inside. You shift uncomfortably in the seat at the Small Council. Jaquetta’s comforting presence is behind you. Unfortunately, the other presence in the room causes you to pretend to be deeply interested in the space between Alicent’s eyebrows.

Prince Aemond sits across from you, next to Otto. If he’s looking at you, you don’t know. You don’t care. He’s not YOUR betrothed, after all, and you have no joy in getting married to anybody. In your real life in your real body, you never had a good example to follow for a healthy relationship, and this girl’s body and that guy sitting across from you do not contain brains that are smart enough to realize that marriage in your teens is a usually bad idea.

Apparently none of the brains of the others in the room are smart either.

“Your uncle and sister are on their way. I have already written to them informing them of the situation,” Alicent breaks the tense silence, looking right at you.

Your eyes meet hers, and you can see a certain kind of tiredness in them. You feel inclined to just nod, so you do. You hope these people will be normal, at least.

“Regarding the marriage–” Otto’s voice pierces straight to the point. He has this way of speaking that makes you feel like he teeters around certain topics like a fighter circling his opponent. “It would be best if we–”

You raise your hand suddenly. Your eyes stare right at the table’s surface. You don’t want to know what everyone else looks like at your actions. You open your mouth and let out a dumb sound – “Um.” There’s a small pause. “Question.” You smack your lips as you gather up all your courage to make your inquiry. “Can we just, you know, not have it?”

Jaquetta grips your shoulder tightly and you know you’ve messed up.

“That is not an option,” Alicent says.

Her tone is sharp enough to cause you to flinch and hesitantly look up at her. Your eyes meet her brown ones. You feel a weight on you. You’ve come to realize in the brief moments you’ve looked at her that Alicent comes through in the eyes. Even as they capture you in their vision, you can’t look away.

It all feels much like how things used to be with your mother.

Alicent must sense the way you retreat into yourself because she swallows before continuing on in a gentler voice.

“It is for the good of the realm.”

But you don’t care about that. Jacquetta has tried telling you of things here and there, but, for the love of the creator, you have no investment in the happenings of this world the same way these people do. You’re a foreign entity trapped here, treated with a different level of scrutiny and pushed down by traditions that have been relatively abandoned in your own world. It feels unfair. You want to scream at these people.

“But I’m not well,” you say. It’s the only real protest you have.

Alicent purses her lips and glances down at her intertwined hands on the table. Her father beats her to it.

“To speak plainly of it,” he starts, and you already can tell from his tone that you’d been doomed to this fate before you even knew it. “This marriage contract has already been approved by the royal household and your house. The wedding is to be held in three months’ time –”

You put your face in your hands.

(“Oh, my fucking god,” you whisper into your flesh. Otto ignores you.)

“Given the time frame, we will not be able to cancel the wedding nor is it in the interest of the realm to do so.”

A wave of nausea hits you, and you distinctly feel like throwing up.

“Your uncle and sister have been informed of the situation and will be arriving within the month,” Otto says. He speaks like everything is final, and as you feel the walls close in around you, you realize it is. “We will have to make use of these three months to be sure you are presentable in time for the wedding.”

Something like dread settles in your stomach. Forget the uncle and sister. Your more immediate worry is about how they plan on making you ‘presentable’ at a wedding you don’t want to a person you don’t know.

Your voice is small when you speak again. “And you’re going to do that – how ?”

“We will arrange some tutors and a septa to be at your side at all times,” Alicent chimes in.

‘At all times’ – you get the impression it’s more to keep an eye on you rather than for your benefit. After not giving yourself nearly enough time to process everything, you lift your head up and glance between Otto and Alicent. You ignore the way Aemond has taken to tapping his finger on the table top.

“So that’s it?” You ask. They say nothing. “Just like that?”

Still nothing.

You look at your last lifeline. Aemond has stopped tapping on the table and is looking back at you when you finally forget the uncomfortable tension between the two of you. You must look pathetic because his lone eye flickers over your face as if he’s taking you in. Even in this situation, he makes your spine go a little cold. It takes some strength not to flinch back from him.

“You–” You take a breath to collect yourself. “You don't really want this either. Right?” You might as well be pleading to him right now with the way your eyes look at him and the way you wave your arm around. “There’s no way you actually agree. I mean – I’m not me anymore.”

He just regards you in brief silence.

“You don’t want to do this!” Your voice raises a bit and Jaquetta stiffens next to you.

“I will perform my duty to the realm,” Aemond answers, keeping your gaze.

You’re floored, a breathy chuckle leaving you at his words. The corners of your mouth twitch up as if he’d told a joke. It was a sick one, if you’d ever heard one. Your arm that you’d been waving around flops helplessly onto your lap as you watch him turn to his mother and grandfather.

“I will wed my betrothed as agreed upon.”

You don’t know if it’s commendable or downright idiotic of him to marry someone who clearly he knows is not normal. Your lips part to make another protest but all that comes out is air. Everyone in this room with any semblance of power greater than your own has shut you down. Your worries are cast aside. They’re like whispers in the wind to these people.

Otto says something before getting up and walking away. You retreat back into your mind as you always do when you’re frightened, when things are beyond your control like this. The screech of chairs don’t awaken you from your state. Your eyes bore into the polished table, and you think you might almost cry but your eyes flutter shut to stop them. How can you even stop this?

Jaquetta kneels down beside you and takes your hand. You feel a little less alone.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The septa, which you realize is something like a nun, assigned to you is boring and overbearing. Septa Lettice is stern, rule-abiding and watches your every move. Even Jaquetta has difficulty adjusting to this new presence in your life, her bright smile appearing a little tight against the septa’s neutral expression. You can’t even so much as go for a stroll without her lingering right on top of you. Her teachings are even worse.

While you’ve been spared from being inflicted any physical punishments, when you raise protests against whatever bullshit she tries shoving down your throat, she’s quick to dole out more readings or lessons to occupy any free time you were waiting for. Though you at least admit that not all these long sermons on the Faith of the Seven are for naught. You find that this world is just as brutal and unfair as the damn Dark Ages in your own world. A discovery which makes you look forward to your time here. Of course.

You whisper your practiced prayers monotonously so she’ll get off your back.

When it’s not with Septa Lettice, Alicent and Otto have been kind enough to assign you other trusted governesses to teach you etiquette, speech and some admittedly more useful knowledge like history and basic finances. The governess presiding over your history and financial lessons finds you more agreeable than Septa Lettice and the other governesses that try to wrangle in your resistant behavior. The first week you attempted to just not show up for the first couple of lessons, and the following week you found that several palace servants had come early in the morning to escort you to your daily lessons. You try for another escape through the window and it takes both Septa Lettice and Jaquetta their entire strength to pull you back inside. Alicent gives you a thorough verbal reprimand that evening, and it’s enough to get you to curb your behavior somewhat.

Jaquetta proves herself to be your greatest asset, though.

“This is your house, my lady,” she says, unfurling a piece of soft, muted purple fabric with your house’s sigil on it.

You flinch a little at the sight of a shrike perched upon a branch with one of its meals skewered on a thorn against the backdrop of a castle.

“Kind of gruesome,” you reply, looking down at your botched attempt at sewing a flower for your embroidery lesson. It looks like a distorted mess, like a plate of spaghetti that’s been dropped on the ground.

Jaquetta smiles widely. “The shrike with its prey has been your house’s sigil since its founding. Your ancestors used the bird’s way of killing its victims to build Shrikesdrop to defend against enemies.”

Shrikesdrop – the ancestral seat of House Durant. It’s perched miles high above the water’s surface, impossible to invade by a beach landing and nearly impenetrable by any army thanks to the steep incline of the roads that lead up to it. According to Jaquetta and a couple notes you found in a book here and there, Shrikesdrop has spikes that resemble thorn covered branches that can impale thousands of men who are unfortunate enough to fall off the inclines. Your house has perfected many tricks to get people to fall off of it, and death by impalement is apparently the go-to execution method of your house. You suddenly didn’t want to meet your uncle and sister after hearing that.

“‘As Sharp as Thorns’,” you mumble your house words. It’s dumb, but you guess it’s the best your ancestors could do.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t mean to stumble across Aemond again. It just happens. Like so much in your two lives.

While you don’t exactly allow yourself to get extinguished fully, you at least understand that your ability to get some manner of freedom rests on some compromise on your part. And, well, you’re pretty smart. Smart enough to remember your lessons, to execute the right angle when you greet your governesses, to hold your head high like you’ve always had blue blood in your veins. That was all you had to pay in exchange for some free time.

It’s the sound of steel clashing that causes you to hurry to the platform overlooking the training grounds, eager for some action to rid you of your boredom.

Your opinion of your betrothed is tainted, of course, because of your judgments. It’s also a little difficult to find yourself liking someone you’re forcefully bound to at this point. However, you can’t deny it. The silver locks that fly about like feathers belonging to a bird of prey are what catch your eye first. You can spot them as he dances about the ground, the dirt crunching underneath his boots.

You can’t see his lone eye, but you feel that if you were close enough they’d have that unsettling intensity you’d seen before – honed in on something. His body is both strong yet nimble as he readies himself. His hand grasps the sword as if it were part of his body.

He’s a fighter.

Fire and Blood – Jaquetta taught you the Targaryen words before those of your own house. The blood of the dragon.

You’d heard the screeching of the dragons sometimes, but you’d never been allowed to rush to see them. Somewhere between your acceptance of your fate and your need to cling on to what you know, you think you’d prefer not to see one. Aemond’s dragon, Vhagar, is the largest in the world, or so you’ve been told.

“Shit,” you hiss underneath your breath when you see Aemond’s opponent take such a fierce swing at him.

Your fingers grip the edge of the platform. The hard surface superficially scratches the skin of your palm. It’s a reflexive reaction, but unnecessary. Aemond blocks it gracefully and disengages cleanly. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Fear not, my lady,” Septa Lettice says. “Ser Criston Cole will not harm the prince.”

Criston Cole, the most trusted sworn sword of Queen Alicent and member of the king’s guard. The best knight in all of the land. Apparently. The royal family sure does have access to some of the best things and people in this land.

Criston circles Aemond after engaging once again, facing towards you as you watch from the platform. Watching training interests you in ways that lessons do not. Perhaps it is the deadliness of it or perhaps it is because even you understand that observing two skilled warriors in a small battle is a luxury few can see. Dark eyes flicker up to you and you stiffen, realizing that Criston is looking right at you.

He says something you can’t make out to Aemond. As soon as you see the back of Aemond’s head begin to move, you run off, Jaquetta and Lettice chasing after you behind you.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your beloved Septa scolds you all the way back inside and only lowers her voice when you begin to pass through the busy halls of the Red Keep. Her expression of concern for your dress skirt getting dirty mirrors a stressed chicken, noisily frantic. You just sigh as she keeps on talking.

Even when you are given free will to wander about as you please, everything feels rather … boring once the splendor of the place begins to wear off. The architecture and luxury is impressive, of course, but how much gold thread and pointed stars can you bask in before you start to long for home again? The faces that greet you and pass by you don’t interest you. You’re selfish with your time. There’s no use entertaining yourself with people that won’t alleviate your anxiety or boredom.

“My lady, you should have stayed and spoken with Prince Aemond,” Jaquetta says, walking a little ways behind you.

You give a dry chuckle. “I’ve got better things to do than that. I’d rather be bored to death. Or go pray at the Sept all day.”

As if you’d want to spend more time with him than you have. Maybe if you prayed to these Gods enough they’d send you back home, but you find that gods tend not to listen to your pleas.

“Prince Aemond is a good prince,” Jaquetta continues. “He is studious, talented in fighting and dedicated to his studies. You have always enjoyed his company so well–”

Her words stop because she’s run into the back of you. You felt the hit but your eyes were trained on someone. A young lady walks across the hall and she is stunning.

“Whoa,” you breathe out as your eyes remain fixed on her. “Who’s that?”

Her silver hair falls past her shoulders, a lone braid framing the top of her head like a crown. You recognize the shade violet that stains her irises, but they look way better on her. Fuck your betrothed. Who gives a fuck about him when there’s pretty girls instaed?

Jaquetta quirks an eyebrow at you before following your eyes and responding, “That is the Princess Helaena Targaryen. You may not remember her since you lost your memories, but you two have been companions since little and– My lady, where are you going?”

Of course, you pick up your dress skirt from off the floor and make your way over to Helaena. Too high for this society’s standards but perfectly comfortable to you (which is all that matters). Jaquetta and Lettice follow after you with their cheeks flushed.

You execute the encounter as perfectly as you do in your head. Every step has a certain charismatic swagger to it as you approach the princess with a wide smile. Your shoes make soft sounds on the floor. Helaena is momentarily pulled away from her embroidery. You spy a pretty design of an insect crawling out of its pupa.

The both of you seem to just stare at each other for a couple of seconds. You beam down at her while she blinks up at you. Then, without another word, you sit down next to her. This seems to make her jump a little, and you make note of that, sliding away from her to give her some space. It doesn’t dampen your enthusiasm.

“Helaena?” You say her name.

A soft smile tugs on her lips. She says ‘your’ name back to you.

“Uh–” You aren’t quite sure. “I’ve been sick for a little bit after … everything, you know, but I’m all better now. Soooo-”

Some kind of glassy look overtakes her eyes. You feel like your heart slows for a moment. It’s suddenly as if she can see through you, into you – almost like Aemond.

“Coin in the waves; heads to tails; tails to heads.” Her voice is a whisper. “The true reflection is on the water.”

Something magical and hidden is woven in her words. Something makes you feel compelled. By what – you know not.

“…Oh.” I mean – what are you even supposed to say to that? “Okay.”

You two stand there in an awkward silence as you both flicker your eyes to the side. You hear Septa Lettice clear her throat behind you. It’s just like you to be so clumsy in front of a pretty girl like this.

“You want to –” Helaena looks up expectantly at you. “Do some … needlework together?”

She smiles, and you feel your heart leap up into your throat.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Helaena’s needlework is beautiful. A lovely image of two flowers sprouting together in full bloom rests gracefully on her cloth. The sound of children babbling a bit and toys clanking against the floor draws your attention away from your messy second attempt at sewing again.

Truthfully, you don’t envy Helaena being a mother already. This body’s original owner and she are the same age. Her children, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, are old enough to at least understand when you say certain words to them. Maelor is still a little young. She must have had them young, and while you know it’s a symptom of Westerosi culture, it makes you feel ill regardless. You wonder if the original Lady Durant would have found this equally as repulsive or if she would have bowed her head in acceptance? You won’t accept it, at least.

The children say ‘your’ name as soon as they see you. It’s not who you really are, but you can’t bear to do anything other than pat their heads and play along with them. You see Helaena in them when they look up at you. They’ll definitely be pretty like their mother when they grow up.

You nearly threw up when Jaquetta had informed you that Helaena’s husband was her own elder brother, Aegon. And then you nearly did it again when she told you that it was traditional for House Targaryen to marry close family relations. Sibling marriages are common, and, quite frankly, whatever magical or bloodline related reasoning they can give is not enough to justify literally any of that.

“Sooo–” Your voice disrupts the peace that’s settled in between you and Helaena. “What’s the … gossip? What’s the – What’s the new thing? Since it’s been a bit since we’ve chatted and all that?”

She gives you a momentary look before she thinks. “You’re going to marry Aemond soon.”

You suppress a groan. “Yeah, I guess you’re … happy about that. Right?”

Helaena smiles softly and you feel your heart flutter a bit. “Marriage isn’t so bad. Aemond won’t ignore you. He’ll be nice to you.”

You frown. “He’s ignoring me right now.”

“Aemond was worried about you,” she says. Your hand stops pulling the needle through the fabric. That’s the second person to tell you he was worried.

Helaena sets aside her needlework to give you her full attention. “He just … Sometimes has trouble conveying how he thinks and feels. You’ve always been very mindful of him, though.”

Yeah, the old owner of this body but not you!

“I guess so,” you say, tossing your own needlework on the cushion next to you. “Can’t say my mind is getting any better lately.”

A noise from the children takes your attention away. They’re giving a plate of biscuits being offered by their servant rather disgusted looks.

“What’s going on?” You ask.

The servant regards you with an apologetic expression. “The prince and princess have been having some difficulty eating their snacks lately.”

“They think it doesn’t taste good,” Helaena explains. “The royal kitchen has tried just about everything to please them, but nothing seems to work.”

You’ve got an idea.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They should have known you were up to something when you were being so … compliant. Way too compliant. You excel in your lessons the following two days and spend some time praying like you’re supposed to before you spend the night scribbling furiously down on some paper. You shoo away Jaquetta whenever she inquires about what you’re doing but you unveil everything one day after your lessons. You snatch the papers and gleefully make your way to the royal kitchen, your two companions in tow.

“My lady, a maiden of noble birth like yourself should not be–” Septa Lettice tries to dissuade you as you enter the kitchen with a bit of misplaced swagger but you promptly cut her off with a yell.

“Bring me your ingredients at once!”

The entire kitchen seems to freeze in space before the attendants scramble about to gather everything you wish. They assemble fruit jam, flour, honey, and anything you ask for. If being a future princess grants you this authority, you might consider being nice to Aemond in the future when you see him.

You give a sweeping gaze over the ingredients, putting your hand on your hips. “That’ll do it.”

“My lady,” Jaquetta says, “What do you plan to do?”

“Don’t worry yourself, Jackie,” you respond, washing your hand in some water and covering your hair with a napkin. “Lettie.” Septa Lettice makes a face. “Let me work my magic.”

Despite their anxious words and the annoying way they hover about you, they soon join the growing crowd of kitchen staff that watch you, entranced by your skills. It should be expected, though. Who can beat you when it comes to cooking? Even baking these jam filled cookies for the twins is a piece of cake. If the royal cooks can’t make anything that pleases them, then you definitely can.

You inspect the heat under the baking oven located some ways away from the kitchen. Your eyes trail along the metal of the oven. It shouldn’t be too time consuming to bake the cookies as long as the heat was regulated. With that over, you crack your knuckles and get to work.

You hold your hand out towards the kitchen staff. “Small knife for designing, please.”

“My lady, that is–”

You narrow your eyes. Soon, a small knife is put in your hand and you get to cutting out insect shapes of the cookie dough you prepared. You make two of each design, putting a dollop of the fruit jam mix in the middle of one cut out dough piece and then putting the other on top of it. You make sure to draw each part of the insects with precision – butterfly wings, caterpillar body, beetle legs. Something for both the children and Helaena to enjoy.

“If these are burnt by even a little bit–” You tell the servant that manages the oven, handing over the tray of cookies. You drag your thumb across your neck. “You’re dead, okay? On the future princess’ order.”

He gulps and scurries off.

You nearly trip over your own feet that afternoon when you hurry up the long staircases and through the many hallways of the Red Keep to Queen Alicent’s room. Helaena takes the children there to visit their grandmother, and you’re determined to be there to have them enjoy the treats you’d made.

“Helaena!” You call out to her in a sing-song voice as the servants open the door for you, Jaquetta following behind you with the food and Septa Lettice right behind her (nearly out of breath).

Several eyes fall on you, but any thoughts of shame are pushed aside immediately when you see him there.

You blink. “What are you doing here?”

Aemond regards you with a quick sweep of his single eye. “I came here to see my niece and nephew.”

“…” You narrow your eyes. “Okay.”

You hear Alicent let out a quick sigh before giving you a tired look that has you shrinking a bit. “I see your lessons have given you no progress.”

You flush. Something about disappointing Alicent makes you embarrassed. “No, no. They’ve been going well. I, uh–”

After clearing your throat, you straighten up as you’d been instructed and take those light steps towards Alicent and Helaena, both of whom are sitting on the couch. You give both of them a little curtsy – light like a cloud, your teachers told you. Alicent’s mouth turns upwards, her eyes are expectant. You want to roll yours. You know what she wants.

You swallow your pride and glide across the room towards Aemond, not meeting his eyes. Stopping in front of him, you give him a quick curtsy before grabbing your plate of sweets for Jaehaerys and Jaehaera. The children look up at you as you kneel down beside them.

“Look what your future auntie made you,” you say, holding out the treats for them.

“You made that?” Helaena says, reaching out a hand and plucking a spider shaped cookie.

“Yep, yep!” You nod. “You can have some too. And Her Majesty.” You don’t even bother to look at Aemond. “And His Highness too. If he wants.”

You hear him get up from his seat, the wood creaking beneath him. His boots echo through the sounds of the children munching happily on the cookies as he comes over. You lift your eyebrows in surprise and stand up. He grabs one of the cookies, a butterfly shaped one, and takes a bite.

“…You cook, my lady?” He asks.

“Huh?” You say without a thought. Oh. Right. Maybe you didn’t think about that.

“The servants told me you were in the kitchens yourself,” Alicent adds, and you can already tell this is going to be a battle with the two of them.

You bite back any mean retort you had prepared. “I … wanted to make something for my future little niece and nephew. And as far as cooking, um … “ You shrug, tripping over your words for a moment. “My illness unlocked a new, creative side to me. Like sunshine after the storm.”

Alicent and Aemond look at you like you’ve lost your mind.

Helaena smiles widely. “That’s wonderful. I look forward to what else you will make.”

You smile back at her, showing teeth. Alicent looks ready to protest but you cut her off.

“I’ll make something for Aemond.” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can even stop yourself. You look up at him and into his eye, something burning inside you. That same kind of passion that kept you going throughout your life. “Something you’ve never had before.”

“That…” Alicent trails off.

“I look forward to it,” Aemond says.

You don’t know why, but you feel taken off guard by that.

You don��t know why but you toss and turn at night, thinking of what Aemond would enjoy. Food is the way to someone’s soul. You’re not that interested in getting to know Aemond beyond the superficial, but you figured if there’s anyone you need to NOT hate you … it would be Aemond. You don’t care what Helaena or Jaquetta has to say, that kid looks like he could sink a sword in you without so much as breaking a sweat. Besides, it got you out of having to appeal to Alicent to let you in the kitchens again.

You’re not getting out of this marriage. The thought makes you want to sink into the bed and into the darkness even more. Marriage? In this place? Your husband is going to tell you what to do? Why couldn’t you have been sent into the body of a rich widow? Then you’d at least have some money to throw around with no one to tell you what to do with it.

But what are you to cook him? Aside from what others have said to you, you’ve no idea what he likes, and you’d already promised him something new. You use your brain to go through what you know.

“Fighter,” you mumble. “Diligent … Something filling, but not too heavy.”

Perhaps a broth. A broth that’s full of flavor, savory like a victory. With some kick in it. A robust flavor on the tongue with some spices and herbs.

Your eyes pop open as you sit up.

“…Ramen.”

#taoc.#aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x reader #slight helaena targaryen x reader #reader is bi and is in love with helaena right now let them have this #pt. 3 we are turning aemond targaryen into a cup ramen lover !!!!

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batneko · 10 months

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Another look into the Knight and Lord AU! This time, let's see which other roles have been swapped...

Luigi had been… well, brooding was probably the correct term, wandering the grand hall and looking at portraits of kings past. He was examining a ruling queen and wondering if she'd fought for her position or simply been the only available head to put a crown on, when he heard the patter of running feet and the door burst open. From the corner of his eye he noticed Bowser straighten up and his hand go for his sword, but both of them relaxed when they saw the slim figure in yellow and orange barreling down the hall.

“Daisy!” Luigi exclaimed, a second before she grabbed him in a hug. "Oof! You're- Is it good news?"

Her face stiffened as she pulled away. "I missed you. Isn't that good enough?"

Luigi forced a smile. "It's good to see you too."

He tried not to be disappointed. If they'd found something he would have heard before she showed up in person. He knew that, and yet…

"So then why are you-"

Suddenly Daisy stepped past him and stretched her arm out, as if blocking him from view. "Prince Luigi, stay behind me."

"What?" Luigi said. He looked around her shoulder to see Bowser, still standing next to the marble pillar he'd chosen as his leaning place while Luigi brooded, though now with his arms crossed across his breastplate.

"How did you get in the castle?" Daisy demanded. "You're lucky I'm the one who came back, if Peach saw you-"

Bowser ignored her. He unfolded his arms (making Daisy put up her dukes) and pressed one fist against his chest, keeping his eyes fixed dead ahead.

"Sire, your permission to make a patrol?"

He was never that formal unless he was making a point.

"Yes, Sir Bowser," Luigi said. "You're excused."

Bowser bowed, lower than he needed to, and marched past them and out the door Daisy had left standing open.

It wasn't even shut before Daisy leaned over to Luigi and hissed, "Him?"

"Yes," Luigi said simply. "Daisy-"

"You knighted him? You remember who that is, don't you?"

Luigi couldn't stop from rolling his eyes. "Of course I do."

"Why would you knight him? Did he do something like- like saving your life?"

"Actually-"

"Because he probably set it up to get close to you!"

“I asked him,” Luigi said. “Personally.”

“You asked? And he said yes?”

“It’s already been three months, if he was going to try something he’s had plenty of opportunities.”

“He might be getting everyone’s guard down!”

“He’s been nothing but loyal! He saved my life twice!”

“But why him?” Daisy demanded. “Why him, out of all people? After everything he’s-”

“You were gone!” Luigi exclaimed.

For a moment she stared at him, silent. He hadn’t meant for it to come out accusatory, but… it wasn’t exactly wrong.

Luigi swallowed down his feelings and tried to explain things calmly. “My brother disappeared, and the kingdom’s famous heroes are away looking for him,” Luigi said. “I can handle myself in a fight, but I don’t look it. People tend to think I’m a pushover. it’s better for the kingdom to avoid fights, so I needed someone who could stand next to me and look like too much trouble to be worth starting any.”

“So… you wanted a goon?” Daisy said. She, too, was making an effort to keep her voice calm and steady. “You could find plenty of people who fit that description. Why this one?”

“Not a goon,” Luigi said. “Well, not just a goon. I wanted a ‘loyal opposition.’ Someone with a different opinion about the way things should be done.”

“You knighted him to disagree with you?”

“Pretty much,” Luigi said. “As a leader, it’s always valuable to listen to the people that disagree with you. Usually they just want someone else - like themself - to be in charge, or to go back to what they think were better times, but sometimes they have valid points. Sometimes they’re closer to the common people, sometimes they’ve thought of things you haven’t…” Luigi smiled to himself. “Bowser… He cares about this kingdom. He never left, you know? And he could have. But he stayed here, even after being declared an enemy of the crown. He cares more than he hates.”

Daisy shook her head. “If you say so…”

“I do say so,” Luigi said. “And besides-”

He stopped.

“What?” Daisy asked.

“No, it’s nothing. Nevermind.”

“Tell me,” Daisy said, with a smile. “Come on.”

Luigi took a breath. “I kind of feel bad about this, but… After Mario disappeared, Bowser was the first one we looked at, remember?”

“I remember,” Daisy said. “He’d been seen around the city every day, he couldn’t have done it.”

“Yes, and… that got me thinking. Bowser was the most likely person to come for the throne now that only I was standing in the way. If I got him on my side, I’d eliminate the biggest threat and protect myself from the rest in the same move.”

Daisy’s eyes widened. “That is cold.”

Luigi hunched his shoulders. “I’m king now, I have to think practically.”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” Daisy said. “And if you’re right and he’s loyal, your plan worked perfectly.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better about it,” Luigi said.

Daisy clapped him on the shoulder, hard enough that it stung. “You’re sure though? I mean, really? You’re certain he’s loyal?”

“Yes, Daisy.” Luigi rolled his eyes. “I told you, he saved my life. Even if it’s only because it would lose him this cushy position, that’s still loyalty.”

“Saving your life is literally the least a knight could do.”

“He does more than that,” Luigi said. He felt himself smiling again. “He’s even started trying to save me from myself, lately. I’ve been working too hard. There’s a lot to do, but… mostly it’s just easier to work than think. The other night, Bowser practically dragged me to bed.”

Daisy’s eyes widened.

“That came out wrong.”

Daisy squeezed his shoulder. “Prince- I mean, King Luigi. Tell me you’re not in love with him.”

Luigi opened his mouth to deny it, but he must have been more tired of this conversation - and the dozen other conversations he’d had like it - than he thought, because what came out was, “Would it matter if I was?”

“Luigi!” Daisy exclaimed.

“I’m serious. Would it make a difference if I was- was giving him unprecedented access to the royal person every night?”

“Luigi!” Daisy said again, but this time there was laughter in it.

“Because you don’t seem to trust my judgment either way.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you…” Daisy said. "I guess… I just can't see myself making the same choice?"

“It was still mine to make.”

“You’re right,” Daisy said. “You’re right.”

They were both silent for a moment.

“So… why did you come back?” Luigi asked. “Not that I’m not happy to see you!” he added quickly. “But you’ve both been sending letters up until now. What changed?”

“It is technically good news,” Daisy said. “We were at a dead end for… longer than I wanted you to know, but we finally picked up the trail again! Peach is trying to gain the trust of some people who might know more, and that’s a lot easier for one person to do than two, so I thought I’d get out of her hair.”

“That is good,” Luigi said. “Then you’re staying for a while?”

“At least a few days. I should check on the house, stock up on supplies, but none of that will take long.”

“Great,” Luigi said, taking her arm. “I want you to tell me everything.”

“Are you sure?” Daisy asked. “A lot of it’s… frustrating.”

“Everything,” Luigi repeated, firmly.

And outside in the hallway, standing next to the door which had never fully closed, Bowser had clenched his fists so hard he was trembling.

Would it matter if I was?

Would it matter

#batfics #bowuigi #luigi #bowser #super mario bros #luwser #bowigi #green shell #sir bowser au #king luigi #princess daisy

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alainapaloosa2 · 8 months

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Glorbie Actress AU headcanons:

Hey guys, before you read this, the story is actually out and in progress now

(And by headcanons i mean more of a story outline)

Gloria is a behind the scenes worker, usually either working on sounds or sets. She’s been doing this a long time and enjoys her job but she’s always dreamed of doing something more.

She secretly has always wanted to be an actual actress but with her daughter, her struggles to make ends meet, and like 25 other problems, she just never got around to it.

Then one day, a new actress comes. Her name is Barbara Handler but she goes by the stage name of Barbie.

She’s unlike anybody that anyone’s ever seen before. Gorgeous, bright, bubbly, always happy and with a smile that literally lights up a room. Everyone’s in love with her

So, Barbie’s at Gloria’s studio working on a new movie. It’s already planned to be a hit and production is going to be long and tiring.

At first, Gloria isn’t sure what to think of Barbie. She sees how everyone else around them practically fall onto their knees the second she enters a room, and the blonde does seem really kind, but Gloria feels like it’s just an act so she doesn’t try to engage in anything with the actress.

But she is secretly crushing on her. So secretly that she doesn’t even know.

And for some odd reason, Barbies taken a liking to Gloria.

Everyone is of course, jealous of this and Gloria has no idea what’s going on but she pretends to not like Barbie, but Barbie talks to her anyway. Eventually, Barbie worms herself into Gloria’s life and the two become friends. They hang out and Barbie takes Gloria out for lunch a lot.

When the movie is finished, Gloria doesn’t hear much from Barbie again and she thinks maybe they’re not friends anymore until Barbie invites her to the premiere about a year later. Barbies pretty famous now.

When they’re there, Gloria mentions she’s been having trouble finding work.

The next day Gloria gets is offered a job at the next movie Barbie’s staring in and very happily takes it.

Barbie also has a boyfriend now. They’re not really in love (Gloria doesn’t know this) and it’s more of a publicity stunt her manager gave her. She’s not a fan of it but she goes along with it because she has no other choice.

Barbie and Gloria get closer and hang out a ton. They have a lot of sleepovers at Barbies fancy place together and just talk and spill their problems to each other. They’re practically best friends and they both secretly want to be more than that.

One night, Barbie takes Gloria out for drinks. She gets pretty drunk and spills a lot of stuff that she shouldn’t and Gloria comforts her. Somewhere along the way they end up kissing and Gloria freaks out, thinking Barbie’s relationship with her boyfriend is actually serious so she leaves.

Then the next day it’s announced Barbies boyfriend left her and it’s everywhere on the news. It’s not pretty.

Barbie is more upset about the fact she lost Gloria but she is also a wreck about that. She’s performing badly and her manager is pissed at her (he sucks in general).

Things just go badly until Gloria stands up for Barbie against her manager and tells him off. Barbie asks Gloria to talk to her and Gloria is a little wary but agrees. So Barbie asks her to come with her to a fancy event.

They go together and talk things out and become friends again. A few people ask if they’re a couple and after the third time of being mistaken for a couple, they just say yes.

Maybe there’s some dance scene because those are incredibly necessary, and maybe they kiss during it. Maybe they go home together and everything is perfect again.

Soon enough, the news is completely focused on Barbie, the star, and her girlfriend Gloria, the upcoming actress

#man this is so much longer than I meant for it to be #I love it though #I’d totally write this if I wasn’t swamped with so much crap irl but maybe someday #unless someone else wants to write this which YOU TOTALLY CAN!!!!!#Glorbie #Barbie #Barbie 2023 #Barbie movie #barbie x Gloria

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celestialexxperience · 1 year

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Graham Dunne (nfsw alphabet.)

~~ Requested ~~

A/N: bear with me this Is my first time writing something smut related so sorry If it's bad.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Aftercare king. He will immediately gives you cuddles and kisses and then runs you a hot bath. I love him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of his body is his arms and fingers because of how proud he is with his guitar playing skills and his skills with you (wink, wink.)

His fav of your body is your eyes, he just loves to stare into them for hours on end. Or your boobs to be honest he's a boob guy.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Gonna be honest he has a breeding a kink, so he loves to cum inside you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Luke I said this man has a breeding kink, I mean he is a family man soooo. But, otherwise I feel like he is kinda ashamed or embarrassed about a lot of things when it comes to sex because I feel like he really doesn't like to talk about with other people that aren't you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like my man was a virgin before the band started but as the six got more and more famous he definitely got more and more experienced.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary. Enough said.

I just feel like he loves to see your eyes and your facial expressions.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he's pretty serious but he can be Goofy, because if something awkward or cute happens Graham will flash a smile and laugh.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Lets just say the carpet does match the drapes, but i feel like he doesn't let it get our of hand like he trims and stuff.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very intimate likeeeeee…. Duhhh have you seen this man has is very rom-com Rose pedals in bed esc.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon).

He doesn't do it that much because he has you but when he's on tour or just misses you he does it, and imagine phone sex 🤭

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I've said this like 3 times already but breeding kink! Hehe. And I feel like he has a thing for sneaking around.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Either your guys house or like when you guys are in public you'll find a closet or something like I feel like he loves fucking in the closet at the recording studio.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

This mother fucker like a God damn horny teenager so basically anything.

When you say something sexually, when you lip your lips a certain way, when you keep eye contact, and especially when your cleavage is showing. Like I said mans a boob guy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No pain kink. He would not want to hurt you and even If you said it didn't hurt you he still wouldn't be up for it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving.

But when he does do it he eats you out like a starved fucking man, he loves the sounds you make and how your thighs shake from underneath him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the mood you or him your on but usually slow and sensual.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Man's loves quickies.

Before practice, after practice, before you have to go to work, in the morning, before yall go to bed, ect.

My man's lives for them.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Yes. Most of the time atleast.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Like I said: horny mother fucker. So, mostly average Stamina, but when he really needs you he could be lasting a while.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't have any himself but If you do and use them around him he will be jealous of an inanimate object.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He does like to tease. Enough said.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is average-loud but he tries to cover it up. you're gonna have to get it out of him and believe me it's not gonna take much.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He's a switch.

(I wanna dom this man.)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Average. (Like 6-8 inches.)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

HIGHHH.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I feel like he does most of the time but not after taking care of you.

#daisy jones and the six #Djats #djats fanfic #Djats fanfic #Daisy jones and the six x reader #Djats x reader #Graham dunne #Graham dunne x reader #Graham dunne smut #Warren rojas #Billy dunne #Karen sirko #Camila Dunne #Daisy jones #Eddie roundtree #teddy price

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useramor · 1 year

Text

of firefighters and french toast rating: G | word count: 2k

the one where dr. salazar and eddie's will lawyer are best friends (disclaimer, patient/client confidentiality? nonexistent for story telling purposes. pls ignore <3)

Aline Salazar didn’t often spend much time thinking about her patients. She went to work, took care of people’s hearts, sent them back into the real world, and when she went back home she made sure to leave all of their life stories in the hospital. It wasn’t a weight she needed to carry.

If she let herself get dragged down into the heart problems of Los Angeles, she’d drown.

So she does a good job at separating it. She has her wife at home, her two girls, and a small black cat that likes to curl around her ankles when she walks through the front door. She has her life at work, her coworkers that drive her up the wall a little bit but who she’s secretly incredibly fond of, and the secret stash of Reese’s peanut butter cups that she keeps in her office.

But she has to admit: the men of the 118 tend to linger in her mind.

The women, too. Hen’s well known. Badass paramedic who’s performed some tricky operations in the back of a moving ambulance. Aline’s heard the stories.

She’s never been in her office, though. Hen’s heart seems to be relatively intact.

Aline knocks on wood, just to be safe. The 118’s been through enough, they don’t need to send yet another member of their team to her. Keep them on the other side of the hospital doors; Aline’s starting to worry.

It’s Eddie that she thinks about most. Or, not most, but he’s crossed her mind more than once. Especially after Buckley got brought in after being struck by lightning, and one of the new doctors was complaining that Diaz was yelling at them as they wheeled him through the hospital doors.

Aline didn’t snort, because that feels a little rude and dismissive, and she does her best to not be either of those things, but…

It’s Buckley and Diaz. She’s seen them on the news—hell, she’s pretty sure most of Los Angeles has. They’re not celebrities or famous, but really (unless you count hospital fame, because, seriously, how are these men not dead yet?), but Eddie got shot in front of Buck. The video of Buck throwing him over his shoulder has just under a million views.

Honestly, Aline doesn’t know how she didn’t recognize him when he came in for his panic attack.

It was probably the girlfriend that threw her off. To be fair, the girlfriend seemed to be throwing Eddie off, too.

And, yeah, that’s the reason he’s stuck with her more than most.

She shakes her head. The only reason they’re even on her mind is because Evan Buckley just left her office. Because the man got struck by lightning.

Seriously, she can’t tell if God or the universe or whoever wants the 118 alive or dead. If it’s alive, they’ve sure got a twisted way of showing it. It’s getting to the point where, if Aline didn’t literally have access to their medical files, she’d probably assume they were supernatural at this point.

Currently, she’s in her car, on her way to meet up with her best friend for Monthly Mandatory Monday. It’s something Melanie came up with when, during her time in med school, they went almost six months without seeing each other, despite living in the same city. Melanie, her best friend since high school, decided that was unacceptable.

So now they clear out one Monday every month to get dinner and catch up. They usually see each other more often than that, considering life is finally in a place where it’s a little more settled, but the tradition stuck.

Her phone pings with a text where it’s sitting in the cup holder. She checks it at a red light.

Melanie:

Are you on your way 😁

Aline:

ETA 10 min

She gets a notification that Melanie liked the message, putting her phone away when the light turns green.

It takes her closer to fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant—a little French bistro that’s definitely more suited for brunch, but Melanie’s always insisted that food should not exist within societally constructed time frames, and if she wants berries and french toast for dinner, then she will have them.

Frankly, Aline’s always down for some well made, fluffy, cinnamon-y french toast.

“You, Dr. Salazar, are late.”

“You, Ms. Green, didn’t have any actual clients today.”

Melanie shrugs. “Mondays are paperwork days. I did not realize there would be this much of it.”

“That’s because you didn’t pay attention in class. Pretty sure anyone who goes to law school knows there’s gonna be paperwork involved.”

Melanie, unsurprisingly, has nothing to say to that.

“Anyway, how was your work day today?”

They’re briefly interrupted by a young girl coming by to take their orders. They don’t even need to look at the menu, both of them getting the same thing they get every time they come here.

She comes back with their drinks quickly, telling them with a polite smile that their food will be out shortly.

“As you were saying?” Aline turns back to her friend as the waitress walks away.

“Work? How are the hearts of the citizens of LA doing today?”

Aline chuckles, pouring water from the pitcher the waitress left into a mason jar.

“You remember that firefighter that got struck by lightning? I treated him today.”

Melanie perks up. She’s got an odd fascination with the LAFD.

“I feel like LA has some of the weirdest fire fighting accidents I’ve ever seen. I doubt Montana has this much excitement with their fire department. Just off the top of my head there’s been that weird blimp incident—didn’t realize blimps still existed, by the way—, two years ago all of the animals at the LA zoo were released onto the streets, we had a tsunami. Did you know the last time a tsunami hit the United States was in 1964? In Alaska.”

Aline smiles. “I did not know that.”

“Well, now you do.”

“Tell me about the firefighter. I saw some coverage of it on the news, he looked really familiar.”

“Pretty sure he’s been on television multiple times by now.”

Melanie takes a sip of her spiked lemonade, because her best friend has the alcoholic drink preferences of a high schooler.

“Probably. What about that other guy you saw a while ago? The panic attack one, have you seen him since?”

Aline snorts.

“No, but I’m pretty sure the lightning strike guy is his boyfriend.”

“Wait, didn’t he have a girlfriend?”

Aline nods. The waitress appears with their food, smiling kindly at them before leaving again.

The first bite is perfect, as it always is. The homemade syrup from the berries mixing with the cinnamon-sugar of the french toast is heavenly. She didn’t even realize she was this hungry until the flavors hit her tongue.

“God, this place is so good.”

“I know,” Melanie agrees. “Back to what you were saying?”

“Yeah, he had a girlfriend, but I’m pretty sure his panic attack was because of her? Probably some heavy repression and internalized sexuality issues. Not that I’m speculating about someone’s sexuality, but as a gay person who only realized her sexuality at thirty, I recognized some of his panic.”

“Classic. And he’s dating lightning strike guy?”

“I think? I mean, I’ve seen them at the hospital quite a few times. They always seem very friendly, I guess, for lack of a better term, and I heard through the grapevine that Eddie—panic attack guy—was yelling at the doctors when they brought the other guy in.”

Melanie lights up. “Man, why are Eddie’s so—I don’t know—weird? I have a client, his name’s Eddie, too. Did I ever tell you about him?”

Aline shakes her head no, sitting back in her chair knowing she’s about to get an earful of Melanie’s rambling. They’ve been this way since they met. Aline was shy and quiet, kept to herself. Didn’t know anybody at her new school after moving to LA with her family from Florida.

Melanie saw her first day of Sophomore year. She was loud and bright and hilarious. All over the place and terrible student, but incredibly smart. They sat next to each other in biology. Aline helped her cheat on her exams, Melanie invited her to tag along to games and parties, and they’ve been sort of inseparable since.

And one thing about Melanie that hasn’t changed is that she can talk for hours. Lucky for her, she has a best friend willing to listen.

“Okay, so, this is a few years ago, okay? Setting the scene, it’s—huh. I don’t actually remember what month it was, but it was unusually cold and rainy. This is relevant. This guy came in, he had made an appointment over the phone, and I told him I’d have availability in about two weeks, but he said it was urgent, and that his schedule is unpredictable and asked if I could squeeze him in the next day.”

Aline’s eyebrows raise.

“I know, right? Felt a little rude the way he was so snippy over the phone, but then he comes in and stiltedly spills his entire life story. This guy is, oddly enough, actually, also a firefighter and an army vet, and he’d recently experienced yet another trauma. Remember what I was saying about rain? He’s the guy that got trapped in that well years ago.”

“Oh wow.”

“I could tell it was serious, even though he brushed it off. You don’t go to a lawyer with an impending sense of doom and urgency if what you experienced isn’t serious. Whatever, I didn’t push.”

Aline snorts. She’s not sure there’s a world that exists where Melanie doesn’t push.

“Shut up, asshole.”

She throws her napkin across the table, and lands it firmly in the potted plant beside Aline.

“I didn’t say anything,” Aline says, raising her hands in surrender.

“Your laugh did. Whatever, I didn’t push. I didn’t. This was the cagiest man I’ve ever seen. I had to ask him what he was there to do about three times, because he was so shifty about it.”

“Well. What did he want?” “Okay, more backstory, this man is a widow with a son. He has extended family that he’s supposedly close to, but he wanted me to update his will. So that, in case of emergency—and, seeing as he’s a firefighter, those happen often—, his son would go to his best friend.”

Aline frowns. “Okay? Like a godfather? That’s not that out of the ordinary, is it?”

Melanie grins like Aline just fell for the set up hook, line, and sinker.

“His best friend? Completely unaware. Eddie asked me not to contact him or anything. And when I said you know, he could refuse, this man looked me in the eye for the first time that entire conversation and said with more certainty than I have ever seen anyone possess he won’t. I swooned a little. I hope those two figured it out, honestly.”

“That’s…wow. Yeah, I hope so, too. I’m just glad my Eddie seems to finally be dating Evan. The lightning strike guy. They’ve been through a lot together.”

Melanie pauses, lemonade halfway up to her lips. “Wait. Evan? As in Evan Buckley?”

Aline blinks in confusion. “Yes?”

“Holy shit, I think we’re talking about the same Eddie. Evan Buckley’s the guy in his will. Diaz? Firefighter with the 118?”

Aline throws her head back and laughs. “Yes.”

Melanie raises her glass and waits for Aline to do the same. “To the same idiot firefighters that happen to be paying for both of our bills.”

Aline snorts. “What you said.”

The rest of the dinner passes by too quickly, the way time between them always seems to. They talk about everything; Melanie shows her all the options for birthday gifts for Aline’s oldest daughter, Aline asks what TV she’s watching now because Melanie has the best taste in sitcoms, and it feels like minutes but it’s actually hours by the time they ask for their check and leave.

“See you this weekend, right?” Aline asks.

Melanie scoffs. “As if I’d miss Maia’s birthday. I need to maintain my position as her favorite Tia.”

Aline pulls her in for a hug when they reach the front of the restaurant. Melanie’s already called her uber, and Aline told her wife she’d be home in time for them to watch an episode of Extraordinary Attorney Woo.

“Hey!” Melanie calls out as Aline’s walking away. “If you see Eddie anytime soon, tell him congrats on finally getting it together and telling Buckley.”

Aline laughs. “Will do, Mel.”

#this is absolutely ridiculous #btw #it just came into my mind and it wouldn't leave me alone #bia.fic #buddie fic #buddie #911fic

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nomsfaultau · 6 months

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SCP Sleepy Bois Inc as animals

(specifically animals they aren’t usually coded as) (because otherwise what’s the point)

Philza—African Jacana

He’s just a dad carrying around his chicks. What more do you want from him? Male African Jacana are known for raising hatchlings on their own. Gives people nightmares when they’re just trying to protect their chicks. They also use their long toes to walk on water (really on floating vegetation but shh) and are referred to as Jesus birds. Other than the fact Philza is a god, he occasionally forgets to be affected by gravity since pretending to be a person is pretty hard. (I’m ignoring the few decades Philza accidentally spent as a crow so hard rn.)

Tommy—Clownfish

This is 100% serious actually. Specifically a red bullet hole clownfish, to mimic Red’s splatters. Tommy’s very much a small fish in a big pond. Clownfish purposefully coat themselves in sea anemone toxin that is harmless to them but really bad for anyone else, much like Red. If we make The Blood God an anemone in this analogy, Tommy is always running to him for safety, luring in doomed predators that that are slaughtered in a symbiotic relationship between the two. Tommy is also the dominant male of the group, and should the female die he’ll become trans— wait. Maybe not that last fun fact, since Tommy is the most reliably cishet in Fault. Also yes fine he’s a silly goofy guy who acts flashy for attention.

Tubbo—Honey Guide

What animal could better represent the hive save for a bird that lures people to bee hives? Since, again, this challenge is about avoiding the obvious answer. Much like Tubbo, these little guys have a pretty positive mutualistic relationship with humans. Anyway, this friendly and helpful passerine is also a brood parasite! They lay eggs in the nests of others and then murder the other chicks so that the honey guide is raised by unsuspecting parent birds. This fits well with Tubbos’ design as a changeling that’s meant to mimic humans in order to replace individuals (by adding them to the hive mind). Worked decently since Tubbo was raised by humans (ignoring how badly it went with the first nest they infiltrated).

Wilbur—Polyphemus Moth

Named of course after the famous cyclops, I thought the name and appearance were a fantastic reference to the void embedded in half of Wilbur’s face. Beyond that, moths are very night coded, much like Wilbur, though are uncontrollably attracted to the light (Philza). Notably, a Polyphemus moth eats 86,000 times their body weight in the 56 days that it lives, which plays well to Wilbur being a Devourer of All and a man who’s extremely aware he isn’t going to have a long life span. Plus their spooky design fits in with how much of a flashy edgelord Wilbur is. Only problem is they spend almost half their existence in their silk cocoon and Wilbur is a chronic insomniac who could NEVER.

The Blade—Hippopotamus

Both are insanely aggressive and deadly, and are the top of the food chain (once adults). Plus the semi aquatic nature of the hippopotamus plays well into the (arguably literal) sea of voices from which The Blade has to fight his way out of or else succumb to the fathoms. Just like how hippos can’t actually swim? Both faster than anyone would prefer them to be able to move. uh. About the same size. uhhh. They both can’t sweat and so enjoy a good mud bath..? could be unethically hunted for ivory…….? Bro he’s so pig idk

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sanakotsu · 1 month

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Koisuru♡Scramble Translation

Chapter 1: A Scrambled Meeting

Writer: Nishioka Maiko Season: N/A Characters: Koino Hajime (Hajime), Nakaouji Eiki (Eichi), Nekomura Konatsu (Natsume), Asuma Mahiro (Madara), Shirai Airi (Aira), Kurose Miki (Niki)

Translation: Sanakotsu

Hajime: Even if that’s the case, it has nothing to do with me. What happened this morning was just an accident. It was a once in a lifetime miracle and nothing else.

〈Spring, when cherry blossoms are almost in full bloom.〉

〈I, Koino Hajime, start my second year of high school today.〉

〈I was a little more careful with how I did my hair, and left the house earlier than usual. 〉

〈I held onto that fleeting hope that something special might happen today.〉

〈But still...〉

〈I am currently running for my life in a rush!〉

Hajime: *Pants* Oh no, I’m going to be late!

*Pant* 8:20 AM! Thank god. Looks like I’ll make it on time…!

(Today is horrible. My favorite keychain got ripped off.)

(And because of that, I had to go back even after I left the house early.)

(At least someone brought it to the police box.)

(Ah… My face is dripping with sweat and my hair’s a mess... Even after I went through all the trouble to style it...)

(But I had to run or else I wouldn’t make it on time! I can’t possibly be late for the first day of class after spring break!)

(I know it’s foolish of me to have such high hopes but...I’m going into a new class and I’m finally used to my new uniform.)

(Whether it’s something special, a destined meeting, or even something tragic...!)

(But of course it can only be found in my wildest dreams.)

(Is this divine punishment for having high expectations? Haven’t I run out of enough luck already?! God, you absolute idiot...!)

...Oh! I can see Yumenosaki town’s six way intersection. Just a little more to the school!

(Still, it’s such a strange path that Yumenosaki town is known for.)

(It’s really hard to see where you’re going around here—)

Ack?!

Ow… That hurts... I ran into someone and fell to the ground... Why is today so mean...?

Eiki: Sorry for running into you. Are you alright?

Hajime: No, I’m sorry too! Thank you—

(Wow...He’s so pretty...! That’s the same uniform— Wait... Huh?)

Eiki and Miki: ...

Konatsu and Mahiro: ...

Hajime: (What?! There’s four people reaching out to me?!)

(U-Um. Which hand do I take?!)

〈Not to mention, these people are—〉

Airi: So what happened? What happened next?

Hajime: Eh? What are you talking about, Airi?

Airi: Well, you said all four of them reached out to you, right? So whose hand did you take?

Hajime: I didn’t know which one to take so I just got up on my own. I did apologize and thank them for trying to help me though.

Airi: What?! Why?! That’s such a missed opportunity!

Hajime: A missed opportunity...? What are you...

Airi: I’m right and you know it. You ran into them, y’know! They’re the school’s—

〈That’s right. The four super hot guys from our school that anyone would recognize.〉

〈The handsome prince of the school that overflows with elegance: Nakaouji Eiki.〉

〈The blunt one who’s actually really kind and cool: Kurose Miki.〉

〈The senpai who’s always popular with women and lives life freely: Asuma Mahiro.〉

〈The flirty and cute devilish angel kouhai: Nekomura Konatsu.〉

Airi: ...super famous guys! That kind of opportunity is rare! You should’ve at least gotten their Anstagram accounts.

Hajime: There’s no way I could have.

Airi: Don’t reply so half-heartedly. Jeez~

Did you know that people from other schools come by just to try and see them? With the way they’re treated, they’re basically like celebrities.

Hajime: Even if that’s the case, it has nothing to do with me.

What happened this morning was just an accident. It was a once in a lifetime miracle and nothing else.

Airi: You never know, it could be a destined meeting.

Hajime: As if. That wouldn’t happen for me, I’m sure.

Airi: Boo~ You’re so adamant about this. You really don’t have dreams, huh. How boring~

Hajime: Isn’t it just you trying to have fun?

More importantly, it’s our turn to order. Did you decide what you want to get?

Airi: Gah! Oh no. I didn’t think about it! What should I get... Um...?

I wonder if there’s still any free seats…

Hajime: Oh, over there! There’s seats for both of us. Let’s go, Airi.

Nice~ How lucky for us.

Eiki: I apologize again for this morning. You’re still okay, right?

Hajime: ...

N-Nakaouji-kun?!

Airi: Ah, Hajime! If you back up in this small space, you’re going to bump into someone—

*Sigh* Of course...

Miki: That hurt.

Hajime: Ah?! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! It was an accident! I got startled—

Huh? Kurose-kun?! Ah...! This is the second time today! I’m so sorry!

Konatsu: Hm?~ Why is it so lively? Did something happen?

Huh? In the middle of the crowd, the person lowering their head is...from this morning...?

Mahiro: Ahaha~ So where should we go later today? ♪

Hm? One second, everyone. What’s...?

Ahh. It’s the cute girl from this morning.

Eh? Ahaha. Don’t make such scary faces, you’re all plenty cute.

Hajime: Really, I’m sorry...!

〈I thought I wouldn’t have another encounter like this again.〉

〈Something that would have stayed a once in a lifetime miracle.〉

❀ ꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎ ❀

I tried to limit the amount of pictures but everything hits better with them.

➸ all ❀ next ❀

#enstars translation #hajime shino #eichi tenshouin #natsume sakasaki #madara mikejima #aira shiratori #niki shiina #koisuru scramble

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philipjohnclapp · 5 months

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ahh okay awesome!! just fyi i love really really dark stuff so feel free to make it as dark as you want! could i please request a chris pontius x reader taking place in the early 00’s, maybe reader is a celebrity/actress/tv personality and their close friendship is all over the tabloids. she’s also in jackass occasionally. but the whole world and especially chris wants it to be more, but she just isn’t sure. maybe one day the jackass crew is getting really wild and they’re doing some drugs, and chris gives her something that’s laced? he takes what he wants from her and is trying to get her pregnant so she can’t leave him. feel free to change anything you’d like! and if you need to post it on Ao3 that’s ok just let me know what your username is! :) thank you so much!!!

I think that you made it up, I think that your mind is gone.

Word Count: 5715

A/N: It is not very good, to my standards anyways. It just seems rushed. The ending is bad, the smut feels rushed. And I’m sorry for that, but it’s lengthy. And I think there’s plot, and you freaky people might like it. I have plenty other fanfics as well that I think are better so don’t judge this as my best work. As always I hope you like it anyways, and feel free to leave requests. Also, this takes place in MTV era. Obviously a girl YN.

There weren't many girls in Jackass or strung to it, there were medics, and other people who were around, but that didn’t have much to do with Jackass. They were so in and out so frequently that they really didn’t matter to the Jackass image, but there was one girl. One girl who was really starting to get tied to it, she was more famous than them, probably more famous than Bam. A true celebrity, and Chris was just absolutely infatuated with her. He truly didn’t know what to do with himself.

Chris usually had no issues with getting what he wanted, well, when it came to chicks anyways. He was practically swimming in them, but lately, fuck, he only wanted one thing. One person. He was lucky enough to string on some sort of friendship with this Jackass girl, actually he’d say they were pretty close if she just wasn’t so disinterested in him most of the time. It was really getting under his skin trying to plan ways to corner her, to get closer. Because this friendship just wasn’t cutting it, he needed to have her.

Even the papers were starting to reflect this, this want, his desire. They’d make articles trying to push and shove at this relationship, “look at the way he looks at her!” And fuck, he wished she seen it too. He was determined for her to see it too. Because he wasn ’t gonna let this slip, even if she said no. There had to be a way; there was always a way to get what he wanted. Not just any girl would do.

He really has tried other fucks since this lust, this life taking fascination has started, but it just couldn’t stop it. Or at least lesson his animalistic urges. In fact it’s gotten to the point where he can’t get hard with any girl. Without the images in his mind of fucking her, the Jackass girl. And now his fantasies weren’t even cutting it, so he had to find something else. He had to get this shit on the road, have this come into fruition before he fucking dies or something. Because he’s got a huge sex drive, and a crush like a boy in kindergarten.

He thinks he might’ve found his opportunity, one of the guys was hosting a rager, or maybe it wasn’t a party and it was just them. Or maybe it was some random person he knew throwing the party, he couldn’t remember all the details, the only thing that registered him was Y/N was gonna be there, the Jackass girl. The one who caused this rut, the girl who made his heart swell, and his palms sweaty. This was his chance to finally get what he deserves, the one time he actually wants something and it plays hard to get.

So, Chris does the only logical thing, what every guy his age does when they have a crush. He calls around for dealers looking for something in specific, he even went as far to ask Steve-O, and in his squeaky gruff voice he said, “fuck no dude, I’m not into that type of shit.” And Chris just frowned, he didn’t get upset often, but that surely bothered him. This wasn’t wrong, Steve-O was nuts and strung out on every drug. He resisted so much trying not to beat him up, stay the bubbly Chris and not the blood lusting one because that’s what this girl was making him do. Luckily, Steve-O gave his details to someone who could help him, and he went on his way with his tail wagging between his legs.

Chris met with the dealer the day before the party, just in case. He’s never put so much thought into something before, he’s never been so on edge. He never even told Steve-O why. His palms were all sweaty, and he kept looking around while he got the roofies, shoving a wad of cash into that guys hands before he headed on home with a racing heart.

He cleaned his apartment, once- maybe twice. Fuck. He was just in the zone, making sure everything just looked the way it should if that made any sense at all. He even cleared his search history. He was so paranoid, but the more he thought about it the more wrong it started to feel. He shook that thought from his head, discarding it. His mind was just playing tricks on him. So, he set the pills on his nightstand and then he went to bed. Like a kid the night before Christmas, he just couldn’t wait.

He tossed and turned all night, waking up more than a handful of times. Anxious, wanting the night to go by faster, but it didn’t. Eventually he gave up and he just got out of bed, deciding he’d just get ready for the day. Call it quits. He had a rewarding day ahead of him, and his cock jumped at the thought of it, but he couldn’t be so lucky to get a hard on. He just signed and hopped on into the shower, taking a lengthy shower, a cold one. And when he was done he slipped on some cameo shorts, no boxers, and a shirt with some cheesy slogan plastered on the chest. When he was done he went back over to his dresser, grabbing his truck keys, and the pills and shoving them into the pockets of his shorts before he headed out of the door. He wouldn’t show up empty handed.

The party was starting relatively early, as some sort of hangout and then it’ll just escalate into drinking and whatnot later. But he wasn’t gonna go empty handed. The drive to the liquor store was a rather quick one, he picked up two 24 packs of beer, not even really caring for the brand as he flashed his ID, paid for the items and then he left. Putting the drinks in the passenger side before heading to the designated party house. His heart was racing. Hopefully the stars aligned for him tonight. With the help of some sweet old roofies.

To his surprise a decent amount of people were there, quite a few cars parked outside the giant house. Maybe it was Jeff’s, he couldn’t tell. It’s not like he went to his place often enough anyways. Exiting his truck as he carried both packs of beer, with a silly grin on his face as he walked up the drive in, someone running up beside him as he walked. Cocking his head to the side only to be met with good old Knoxville, who greeted him.

“Hey, party boy.. you brought drinks!”

He said enthusiastically, once they were inside, Knoxville ripped open one of the boxes Pontius was holding and he snagged himself a beer without question. It was the key to his heart. Even if the beer wasn’t exactly for him. Then again, that didn’t matter as long as his pills were safe, which they were. He hoped Y/N showed up, his whole night counted on it. If it didn’t he’d probably go home and cry. Pontius’s smile turned into a frown as he headed into the kitchen. Setting down both sets of 24 packs, fetching himself a beer too. Though, he wanted to stay as sober as possible so he could marinate in the experience.

Opening his own beer can as he stayed in the kitchen, just sipping on it for a while. He didn’t know how much time had passed until some strangers started flooding in, which he talked to for a moment until he peeled away to find someone he knew. He ended up finding a few of the guys, Tremaine, Preston, and Spike. Who he happily chatted to, until Y/N had come on over, he practically jumped when he seen you, a huge grin plastered on his face as he wrapped his arms on around you into a rather tight embrace.

“Hey Chris-“

You spoke. Being cut off by the sudden embrace, you just smiled and laughed. He probably already drank a decent amount, you liked hanging out with him though. Honestly, you weren’t even sure you were gonna go, mostly because of how big the party was gonna be and you could always drink at home. At least Chris was here, and you could always sneak off with him later.

“You’ve already had a lot to drink, haven’t you?”

You asked, purely out of curiosity as you pulled away from his embrace, eyeing the can of beer. And Chris’s brain just sorta short circuited for a moment as he quietly nodded. Even if this was his first beer, and he barely drank half of it. He was that careful. One was good enough to keep the edge off. He was playing it safe after all.

“Not enough, want me to fetch you a beer?”

He asked you, finishing off the rest that was in his own real quick. Before pulling it away from his lips and setting it down on some random countertop. He looked at you real carefully for a moment, and that focused look made your brows twist. Shaking off that random unnerving feeling that crept up your spine as you agreed.

“Yeah, okay. I might as well.”

You mumbled, even though for a moment you thought if you listened hard enough you could hear your mind screaming at you not to. But you shrugged that off too, just all that stress from the media and everything else getting to you. Just needed to relax a bit, and the beer would

Certainly do that for you. Also a bit of chatting with Chris always made your days a bit better. And you were glad that for once everyone was in the same

place, maybe you’d even go find Bam later. You’ve been wanting him to introduce you to his brother since you’ve really been starting to take a liking to CKY. The music was really good, maybe you were just delusional, though. Who knows.

Once you gave him the go ahead (he was gonna get you a drink anyways regardless) he parted ways from you briefly. Even though that was the utmost last thing that he wanted to do, he wanted to be as close as possible to you, but he’d have to wait. He couldn’t mess that up.

He smiled at you, it was sharp. Actually; everything about Chris was sharp right now, all of his features, all crooked and seemed sharp enough to stab you. It was different. That was different, his boyish shine was nowhere to be found, and you’ve never felt so terrified before. Maybe you were just being paranoid, it’s okay. Chris was always fine, now wouldn’t be any different.

Chris slipped back into the kitchen, leaving you with that uneasy feeling in your gut. He thought about the drink of choice, and he went for some sort of hard beverage, to of course enhance the experience. Pouring the strong liquid into the cup, and mixing it with some sort of soda. He left the solo cup on the counter as he felt around his pants pockets until he pulled out that baggy he had achieved earlier that day. Or maybe it was yesterday, he couldn’t exactly remember. Crushing the pills up in the bag until it was a fine powder, before he opened the baggy and shook all the powder out into the drink. Making sure he got every grain out before discarding the baggy in his back pocket. He stuck his index finger into the drink, swirling around the powder in it until it dissolved enough for him to be satisfied. Once he was done he picked back up the drink and left the kitchen, trotting back over to Y/N like an obedient dog. But he was anything but that, he was one bad dog tonight.

While he was gone you just stood there, debating leaving or not, but you decided you didn’t want to be an asshole for no reason. So you waited, defying your mind and soul. And then Chris was back before you knew it, with a solo cup of some sort of liquid. Your brows furrowed to one of confusion as you looked into his brown eyes, one’s that lacked that usual warmness. There wasn’t a sparkle in them,

“That’s not beer, is it?”

You asked. The look he had on his face was weird, as if he forgot how to control his face. Like he was making it up on the spot, and when he replied he stumbled over his words a bit. Making it all up on the spot as he held the drink forward, shaking it a bit to bring your attention to it. So you would take it.

“No,, there wasn’t any that I could see, but this stuffs better, trust me.”

Assuring you, well, pleading with you to take it. Like if you didn’t he might die. Fabricating a story and throwing in a few white lies, there was obviously beer. You knew it too, hell, you seen the beer in the kitchen when you were in there. But you ignored that sign again, of course you did. Caving in and taking that drink from him. He watched you take a long swig of the drink, it tasted bitter, but that could be because it was one of your first drinks, it was probably nothing.

“Good,, right?”

He says rather nervously as he watches you take your first sip, you weren’t so sure on how to react so you just give him a nod and a slight smile. A nervous one that was rather forced when you pull the brim of the solo cup away from your lips. You shake away that feeling again and decide fuck it, you’re at a party, your friends party. And nothing will happen to you because of that, so you start drinking more of the drink and Chris starts to loosen up a bit and converse a bit more. Before you knew it almost all of the drink was gone and your body was starting to sway.

And then you felt a rather firm hand grab onto your waist, supporting most of you as you leaned into it. Turning your head to the side to see whoever was grabbing you. Your head feeling all fuzzy, and your vision getting blurry. It was Johnny, you could tell by his shades, and you could see the concerned look on his face,

“You alright, Y/N?”

And Chris intervenes, knocking his hand against Johnny's wrist rather sharply, pushing him away. He traded Johnny's hand on your waist with his own as he interjected.

“She’s fine, don’t touch her PJ.”

You opened your mouth to say something as you turned your head to meet Chris. You were barely able to do that, moving your head was a whole lot harder than it was moments ago. No word came out of your mouth, just a glob of drool. And before you knew it your vision was fading. The last thing you heard was Johnny's muffled voice, you weren't able to make out the words as your vision faded to black.

“What the fuck did you do to her?!”

Chris caught your very limp body as you started to fall, switching from the way he held you to bridal style. Shooting Johnny sharp daggers as he growled at him in a way that could only be described as animalistic.

“You don’t understand, man, I fucking need this.”

He was no better than a dog, Johnny could hear the low guttural growl fall from his mouth. He said nothing, Johnny smiled at him through his dark shades. Putting his hands up in defense,

“Alright, alright. No need ta go all feral on me,, but, man.. She’s fuckin’ hot, ya gotta lemme fuck her”

Johnny's accent was strong, eyeing Y/Ns passed out corpse. The same way Chris did, with the utmost desire.

“Fuckkk… her tits are wonderful.”

Chris actually laughed at that, but frowned at the idea of having to share Y/N with him. Furrowing his brows as he replied, he sounded off. Not as warm as he usually was, his voice was all sharp like a cactus.

“Only if you keep your mouth shut about this, PJ. I’ll slice your neck if you tell a soul.”

Something told Johnny that he wasn’t lying, he swallowed hard and nodded his head obediently. Honestly, he wouldn’t complain. Not a soul, this would just be a fond memory to look back upon. He understood the assignment.

“Yessir, you’ve got it.”

With another firm nod from Johnny, he followed Pontius whom started to walk rather quickly. And then he went up a flight of stairs, disappearing into a bedroom that wasn’t his. PJ shut the door right behind them, making sure to lock the door real well. This is where the fun started.

Pontius threw your limp body onto the bed, it was like you were a doll. An unconscious doll, anybody would think you were dead if it wasn’t for the fact you had a pulse. You must’ve done something really bad to end up here, perhaps this was all of life’s karma adding up to conspire against you.

Chris smiled to himself, letting out a soft exhale as he watched you from the foot of the bed, Knoxville somewhere behind him already pulling down his jeans and boxers to his mid thighs.

Your “best friend” did the same. Pulling down his loved cameo shorts in one swift tug before he palmed himself through his striped boxers, something of a blue-green color. Already developing himself an erection. He rubbed his calloused palm against his clothed dick until his semi became a full on hard on. He let out a sharp groan. He decided to spoil himself, pulling his hand away and pulling down his boxers. Letting a small clothing collection build at his feet, and then pulling off his shirt. This is one of those things in life that you do completely naked.

When he was done stripping, he decided he didn’t need a condom. He needed the full experience of you, and no protection involved, because getting you pregnant was just a plus to him. He got closer to the bed before just climbing on top of it, mumbling something about Johnny waiting his turn as Chris got onto his knees. Sinking them into the bed as he watched you hard. You didn’t move, but he watched your chest rise and fall. Your clothed chest. You were wearing such a pretty dress. He’d try his best to not ruin it too much, but Chris could make no promises.

Chris had already gone far enough, and why waste an opportunity like this with a condom? This could be his only time and it would definitely just get in the way, so he didn’t bother. Of course he didn’t bother, even if he had a condom in the pockets of his shorts. Screw protection. He wanted to share liquids with you.

He could gawk at you forever, but time was limited. This wasn’t his place, and he didn’t know when his potion of “love juice” would wear off. Plus, he wanted to enjoy you as long as he could. And he feels like he would just explode if he didn’t get to touch you, so he did.

Pressing both of his hands against your thighs. Running them up and down your smoothed legs, going as far as to your skirt, and then back down again. His heart jumped every time he neared the hem of it, it was a very short skirt anyways. He wondered if you did that on purpose, so all the guys would stare at you. That thought made him jealous. It really bothered him.

And then he stopped abruptly. Johnny had stepped closer from where he was in the corner of the room. He had his hand pressed against his clothed dick in his dickies. Rubbing himself as he watched you and Chris through his dark shades, like the pervert he is.

Chris couldn’t contain himself any longer, the longer he postponed this the less time he would have with your luscious body- and he wanted to enjoy it thoroughly. And he would.

His dick was pressed into the sheets, his tip an agitated almost purplish color as he ruined the sheets with his precum. Leaving a wet stain on the almost pristine bed set. He was antsy, and eager. A dog losing its patience when waiting for a treat, he’d take his treat now thank you very much.

Finally taking his hands off your legs he had been caressing ever so sweetly, his hands ghosted the edge of your skirt. Stopping for just a moment, before he resumed and grabbed onto the small piece of fabric, flipping your skirt up. He wouldn’t take it off; at least not yet.

His breathing hitched for a moment as he gazed at your lacy underwear, the colors complimented your skin perfectly. He wondered if you wore them for him, and the idea that you might’ve made his heart flutter, he couldn’t take them off either. Not something so pretty. He could work around them too, probably.

Chris couldn’t wait much longer, well, he wasn’t gonna wait any longer. The clock was ticking. Johnny was getting rather fidgety back there, and well, he couldn’t have tonight gone wrong. He’s already waited a lifetime, how much more should he have to go through to have you? He deserved this. He deserved you, all of you. And you were gonna know that by the time he was done with you.

Inching himself closer to your smaller frame, he was between your legs and was probably barely an inch away from your groin. His right hand was pressed into your inner thigh, sliding upwards until his fingers could drag against the borders of your precious lingerie. Which definitely wasn’t what it was.

Grabbing onto your underwear, he pulled it to the side so he could reveal your pussy to himself. And for that moment he held his breath. His head hung low, and the anticipation was killing him. It felt like a dream, but it wasn’t. He knew it wasn’t. It was a dream come true. This was officially the best day of his life. He boasted to himself mentally. He wondered if Knoxville would think he was crazy if he said that out loud? Deciding he didn’t care. It didn’t matter. Knoxville should be happy that he’s allowed to even watch,, maybe even touch you if he’s good. But maybe not.. Why should Johnny be allowed to touch you when he’s barely gotten to touch you himself?

Chris knocked the thoughts of Knoxville out of his head, he wasn’t fucking Johnny. He was fucking you. The once in a lifetime opportunity that he was wasting to instead think. Yeah, he’d pass on that

His left hand wrapped firmly around his rock solid cock, as he pressed his tip against your entrance. As if your body knew, you were already wet for him. He could feel it. It sent chills down him as he wished he could bask in it longer, but he couldn’t. His manhood couldn’t take it.

Rubbing his tip up and down your folds, just testing the water works. It felt heavenly, he let out a groan and he shut his eyes. Embracing the feeling just for a moment. That is all he needed and then he was ready to go at it.

Sliding his dick down until he was pressed against your opening, he slowly pushed himself in. Using his hand as guidance since your unconscious body couldn’t.

It wasn’t easy, no, not one bit. Your body was rejecting him, and that beyond thrilled him. Feeling the tightness of your cunt only fueled him more. Getting antsy, and lacking any sort of humanity, he thrusted forward. Even though he was probably less than a quarter way in. He let go of his dick, and your underwear. Putting his hands somewhere else instead.

He reached them forward, his dick still inside of you as he instead grabbed onto your boobs. Your clothed boobs, still wearing that dress. And as he did so he pushed himself (almost) all the way inside of you. His body was all tense when he did.

“…Jeezus baby..”

He breathed out, as if you could hear him. It fell onto deaf ears as he waited a second, just staring down at you. You almost looked peaceful, except the crinkle in your brow. But peaceful to him. And he was gonna wreck it, claim your humanity, and mark you as his.

Chris slid back out almost all of the way before sliding back in rather roughly, his breathing hitching as his grip on your chest tightened.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.. so tight for me.”

His voice was husky, deep. And even Knoxville was on his heels listening. He was pretty sure by now Knoxville was so close that his knees were touching the back of the bed. He wasn’t checking, his eyes were all on you.

Slowly starting to rock himself back and forth until he got some sort of pace, and he did. Biting down on his bottom lip. His whole body was clammy. And by now he was more so gripping onto the top of your dress than he was your breasts. Just because it was easier to grab.

Pontius could only be satisfied with a slow pace for so long, and the fact he didn’t have anyone complaining to him about speed.. or his fucking gigantic dick was nice. And for once he preferred the quiet. But he’d be lying if he didn’t say that he wanted to hear your moans. He did. Maybe next time he could.

He had to work with what he got, and his time was draining quickly. So, he picked up the pace for the sake of him and his painful boner. His thrusts started to quicken into targeted thrusts. Slamming into your cervix every time. His breathing starting to get heavy with every thrust, he was like some horn dog desperate for its next climax. And he was. The excitement of being inside of you was unreal. All of his dreams were coming to fruition.

The longer strands of his short hair falling forward and into his face, but that didn’t seem to bother him. Or slow him down. He didn’t need to see to get the job down; and it didn’t dull the experience either. This has already been memorable and he wasn’t even done yet.

Grabbing fist fulls of the top of your dress, pulling you up slightly as his grip had tightened. Thrusting forward like his life depended on it, his hips staggered as he let out a groan, cumming inside of you,

“..Take it all baby.. shiiit.. take it all.”

He breathed out as he thrusted forward one final time, deep inside of you as he emptied himself completely. Painting your insides with white.

Chris squeezed his eyes shut as he stayed still. He wanted nothing more than for this to be an everyday thing. To be with you until the end of time,, and so he was a little careless. Of course he was. And the worst thing he could do right now was cum inside of you. But he never said he was smart, and he never said that this wasn’t his plan all along. He in fact wanted nothing more than to come inside of you. To make you his, to have a child with you. Even if he had to do this again, make history repeat itself. He’d do whatever he had to do.

Pontius didn’t wanna move but he knew he had to. What made that certain is he thought he felt you move. And that spooked him, as he opened his eyes he heard Johnny speak,

“Hey, party boy. Think she’s waking up, let’s go.”

And then he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was cold. It was Johnny, and he was right. Even if he didn’t want him to be. Chris slowly pulled out, with more careful consideration than he had earlier. Wiping his dick off on your dress. Before he got off the bed and turned to face Knoxville.

Johnny was completely clothed, and he had Chris’s clothes in his hands now. He couldn’t tell what Johnny was thinking either, the glasses covered his eyes. Bastard had a weird habit of wearing sunglasses inside, and his facial expression was unreadable otherwise. Johnny handed his clothes back over to Chris.

“I’m heading out, I’ll see you later Pontius.”

Johnny stated, a slight smirk noticeable on his face before he turned away from him and headed to the door they came in from initially. He had some sort of small camera in his hands that he tried his best to hide. But Chris didn’t say anything, favoring it to be nothing instead. Knoxville opened the door and headed downstairs lord knows where.

Chris nodded his head, frowning slightly as he got dressed. His eyebrows furrowed as he took one glance back at your stirring form, before he turned away and left the bedroom as well. Disappearing down stairs into the party. Becoming one with the other forms downstairs. Leaving you to your own demise. After all, it was the least he could do.

It had been terrible, truly. Your night has been terrible. You woke up with a foggy head not really remembering the night that had happened, and it took you a long moment to come to reality. Your body was sore, unbelievably sore. And your crotch had hurt even more. It was like an excruciating pain. And when you really looked around the room you realized you didn’t know where you were, but you were alone. And that you have been violated. You felt liquid inside of you, jizz dripping down your leg and you cringed. But you had to get up and get out of here, so you did.

Somehow managing to try and fix yourself and get downstairs. Most of the party was gone, still you avoided everyone you saw because you looked absolutely terrible and the last thing you needed was someone seeing this. Seeing you like this.

You exited the “party” going straight to your car and entering it. Sitting in the driver's seat. You leaned back, mumbling a bunch of profanity. This couldn’t be happening to you, could it? Trying to clear your head enough to think of what to do now. And once you had a solid plan you drove off. Driving home because thankfully you had everything you needed there. Well, not everything. But being at home now would really make you feel a whole lot better.

When you got home you went straight to the bathroom, digging around in all the cabinets until you found what you were looking for. By now you were barefoot, ditching your heels as you had walked to the bathroom. You pulled a pregnancy test out of one of the cabinets. Standing in front of the toilet as you managed to pee on the test, even though it hurt. And for the moment this was about the only thing you thought about. The only thing right now you could do. Bringing the test with you as you waited for the results, praying to god for a negative as you exited the bathroom and went to the living room.

Setting down the test on the coffee table because you couldn’t care less about the sanitation, you punched in the numbers to the only person you thought you could call, picking up the phone as it rang. Hoping to god your publicist would answer. And they did. Thank fucking god.

“Y/N?”

He said, his voice sounded funny but you chalked it up to it being early. It was the early hours of the morning.

“Hey.. I have a problem.”

You said, your voice quieter than intended. Taking a nervous glance at the test. Your eyes widening when you seen two lines on it,

“Shit… fuck! It's positive.”

“What’s a positive??? You’re pregnant, aren’t you.”

“Yeah.. fuck. Shit.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. It’s fine.. who were you with?”

“I.. Chris..? Last night,, but..”

You froze. As all the pieces started to click in place, shit. He really did this to you? Your best friend? Of course. This couldn’t be happening to you. You hung up on him rather quickly. Sitting down on the couch, absolutely devastated. You were fucked, this was career suicide. And you didn’t even want this to happen, you didn’t even know.

You didn’t know how long it had been when your phone went off, you spent the past probably about an hour on the couch nervous brainstorming all the possibilities, and then probably another thirty pacing back and forth. And then you were on the couch again when your landline went off. You stopped what you were “doing” and you picked up the phone instantly on the second ring, and it was some person who worked at TMZ asking about your pregnancy?? And talking about details no one knew. You freaked, not even getting any words out before you hung up and called back up your publicist,

“The tabloids are already on it?? What the hell do I do???”

“Don’t even worry about it, no publicity is bad publicity, Y/N. This will be good for your career, after all the fans have been hinting at you and Chris for months. It's about time you made it official to the world.”

Your face fell as you heard a knock on your door, and a very familiar chipper voice boasting about some news article of you and him, and rambling about the fact that they were calling you a slut, and he thought otherwise. And that he couldn’t wait to be a dad, and that you would come around. Whoever said Jackass was a good idea should kill themself.

It wouldn’t be long until the footage was released, Knoxville was an excellent camera man.

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