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#jackass headcanons
dangerehrenn · 1 year
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duddddeeee okay so imagine reader is put in a kinda sexy outfit for a prank and the members are all just flustered as fuck while talking and teasing her
i LOVE this
fem!reader, kinda went off track lol sorryyyy
when you fluster (?) the guys
you’re wearing a nurse outfit you found in your trailer
but the skirt is far too short and the shirt is a tad bit too tight
you know you were put in this outfit to be a ‘distraction’
you don’t mind it though
all eyes are on you and you’re loving it
you’re not sure who’s idea it was, your bet is on spike
regardless of who’s idea it was, it’s getting lots of positive reactions
you casually walk up to the boys who are all sat in an almost circle, talking about stunts they have to do or have done in the past
knoxville is speaking as you walk towards them but he instantly loses his train of thought
not seeing you, bam starts to make fun of johnny for it while taking a sip of his beer
but chokes slightly as he notices you, cheeks going red as you give him a knowing look
“where’s this little get up from?” chris says
“dunno, it was in my trailer with a note saying for me to put it on”
“ok, who’s idea was this?” dave says after looking you up and down, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact
steveo wolf whistles you, telling you to spin
“yeah y/n, spin” wee man says
you do a spin and you hear murmurs of “damn” and “holy shit”
suddenly ehren has to excuse himself, causing the boys to erupt into laughter
“where you going ehren?” bam shouts
“no where!! it- it’s unrelated!”
you take a seat next to preston and ryan
and you fully realise that all your friends have a staring problem
and they all have slight blushes on their faces
it boosts your ego though, so you cant really complain
“you ever find out who left you that outfit? tell me, i wanna thank them personally” knoxville says with a smirk and a laugh
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only girl in jackass moodboard || ♡♡
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johnnyknoxvilleswife · 4 months
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Jackass's own it girl (she is a teensy bit of an alcoholic)
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totally about to write a City Girl x Knoxville Fic
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johnny-coxville · 1 year
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How about a really cute johnny and female reader (she's johnnys girlfriend but she doesn't do any of the stunts) fic where they're playing with the Super Mighty Glue for the third film and one of the other guys sticks the reader and Johnny together and he's really cute with it and finds it hilarious?
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Figured I might as well mix the two aspects of the asks ;P
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Johnny x fem!reader fluff
Too Close!
The glue that rested inside the wooden drawer was saved for a rainy day. That day. Was today. Johnny opened the blinds in the bedroom, squinting at the bright sunlight. The rain beat down on the window, giving cool air through the cracks.
He turned his head to you, where you slept softly. He made his way back over to the bed and sat down. Scratching your head, and brushing the hair out of your face. You slowly woke up, greeted by a soft kiss from Johnny. You smiled and kissed his lips. Laying your head back down on the pillow. You stretched your arms and yawned.
“Time to get up sweetheart, heading to Bam’s. It’s raining so you’re being dragged along to watch a stunt. I swear it’s harmless.” He said rubbing your shoulder. You sighed. “Alright. But if you get hurt I’m not driving you to the hospital this time.” You muttered. Of course, this was a bluff you always got so scared when he’d do such a dangerous stunt.
You two got up and dressed. Johnny slipped into his blue and white long-sleeve. Looping the belt through his black jeans. Tying his signature skull and crutches Converse. You took one of his flannels, sporting a black t-shirt underneath. Leaving it unbuttoned. You never bothered putting on a raincoat.
Finishing with your shoes, he slipped his jacket on. Grabbing the hotel keycard and sliding it into his jacket pocket. Passing you the car keys, you both headed into the heavy rain. Driving through PA wasn’t your favorite thing, but at least it wasn’t California traffic.
Johnny chatted the entire way there. Finally pulling into Bam’s driveway, multiple cars had already been pulled up. You were honestly nervous. You really weren’t interested in whatever house-destroying antics they were going to get up to.
Johnny reassured you, their plans wouldn’t be putting themselves in danger. You simply rolled your eyes and got prepared to run through the rain. Entering Bam’s parents, you shook yourself dry. Being greeted by April as usual.
She led you to the kitchen where the entire gang sat. You knew this would be trouble. All sitting at the table, like rowdy little children. They greeted you and Johnny. Sat on the table were a few containers of super glue. You looked at it unsure, looking over to Johnny.
Kosick stood leaning against the kitchen counter, camera mounted on his arm. Along with a few of the other film crew, just relaxing, waiting for the action to start. You were giving quite an unsure look. What were they going to do? Glue their lips to each other's assholes? See how far they could run with glue stuck to their feet? It had to have been something extremely outlandish.
¨Don’t look too excited for this Cons.” Dave giggled. You smiled. He always called you Cons because he could never remember your actual name. Converse were the only shoes you and Johnny ever wore, so the name stuck. “Not really. I mean. It’s probably a lot better than most of the things you’ve done.” You said pulling a chair at the table.
Bam took the initiative and stood at the foot of the table. “I say Johnny and Cons do something together! She’s never in our stunts. There’s no way we could hurt her with some super glue.” Bam said pointing at you. April facepalmed. She loved you dearly, and always talked you out of a stunt, no matter how small and stupid it was.
You nodded your head. “What are your plans.” You said caving. What’s the worse that could happen? “Alright, so you’re going to want to take your shirt o-” Before Bam could even finish Johnny cut him off with a flat no. Tremaine in the corner gave a suggestion. “Wee-man and Preston first. Just to see how it works out.” He said pointing to the two guys who uncomfortably shuffled. Sighing Preston got out of his seat.
Wee-man follows behind and stands with his arms folded. Never really fond of actually having to do a stunt. “Shirt off. Both of you” Tremaine said stepping closer with his smaller camera equipment. “Fucking seriously?” Preston scoffed.
He discarded his shirt, annoyed, and stood waiting for the next move. Wee-man reluctantly removed his shirt and stood face-palming. “Wait wait wait, I wanna do the glue!” You shouted. Tremaine shrugged his shoulders. “Works with me.” He said giving the go for filming. Everyone began to shuffle into place. Getting out of their chairs. The camera began to roll.
“Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville! And this isss Super Mighty Glue!” He said reading the name off the glue bottle. You stood with an excited smile. “Here we have two very willing and lovely participants.” He said presenting Preston and Wee-man, with incredibly annoyed faces. You snickered taking over the bit.
“Alright, Preston you’re on the bottom, and wee-man you’re on top.” You said helping Preston slide onto the counter. The guys were already hysterical. Once Preston was on the table, you lathered his stomach full of glue. It smelled awful but surely felt even more often to feel on the skin. Wee-man was assisted onto the table, Bam shoving him backward while he was trying to balance.
“Bam!” April screamed, hitting him in the shoulder. Wee-man’s ass now glued to Preston's stomach. “Hold on! Hold on! I got this.” Johnny said pulling out a stun gun. Before he could even take a few steps Wee-man started to scream and fight, painfully ripping himself off of Preston's stomach. Preston screamed in pain pushing himself off the table. Both men jumping around and screaming.
“Someone fucking lather up Knoxville. This shit hurts!” Wee-man screamed out. Johnny wanting to prove some kind of point, maybe that he was tough, laid on the table, pulling his shirt off. “Lather me up, baby!” He said rubbing his hands together.
You squeezed two different bottles of glue onto his chest, cringing at the glue glopping and running down him. You crossed around the counter cautiously not to be stuck to Johnny in some stupid way. Just as you were ready to put the glue down, Dunn hauled you up by your shirt. You couldn’t fight his grip, being picked up like some kind of toddler by their onesie. He pressed you directly against Johnny’s bare sticky body. Johnny found this hysterical, you definitely did not.
“No fucking way! Get me off of him!” You shout. Everyone laughing except April. Johnny was nearly in tears by this point laughing, carefully trying to slide off the table. Every time you tried to pull yourself off of him, he’d squeal in pain. Your t-shirt was basically infused into his skin. Your flannel awkwardly stuck to the sides of his body where glue had seeped down.
Aww’s and laughter were spread throughout the room. You rested an angry face on his shoulder as he held you against his chest. “She’s reaallyyy stuck to me, man!” Johnny said showing you off to the camera. Flopping his body around trying to detach you. “Definitely going to have to cut her off of me..” Johnny said scratching his head. Glue stuck to his fingers getting caught up in his hair.
Looking into the camera he cringed. Ripping his fingers out of his hair, he pulled hair straight from his scalp. “Yep. I’m done! Can someone just. Set my shirt on top of her hand so she can change..” Knoxville asked.
April let out a heavy sigh. “I’ve got it.” She said leaving the kitchen. Coming back with one of her t-shirts for you to wear. You kept trying to kick at his knees, nearly having Johnny buckle over a few times. Giggling each time you made a poor attempt. “I’m going to glue your beard to someone’s pubes Dunn. I fucking swear on it.” You said as April wrapped the shirt around your neck for you to use shortly.
He giggled in the corner shaking his head. Johnny carried you around the house, holding you close. You felt like a baby strapped to his dad’s chest. Once you were nearly in the bathroom you could hear the other guys hollering. Assuming one of them had continued the bit.
He closed the bathroom door and shuffled himself to the counter to grab the scissors. You let out a heavy sigh. He giggled to himself, making eye contact from time to time. “I swear I could kill him PJ” You said pulling yourself slightly back to let him cut through the fabric. Thankfully these weren’t “good clothes”. You’d be fuming.
Once he had gotten the shirt undone, he just tore the flannel off. You finally were let go, sitting on the bathroom counter. You stared at his now extremely patchy chest, covered almost entirely in your shirt. You shrugged, sliding your new shirt on.
“Pugs! Not Drugs!” Johnny read your shirt. “That’s fucking great.” He sighed trying to relax his laughter. April always provided the best shirts. Another one to the collection. Once you had managed to clean the shirt pieces off Johnny, you both walked out to the kitchen. Dunn’s beard glued completely to the side of Bam’s face.
Idiots.
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glitterinmyveinss · 5 months
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// say yes to heaven //
johnny knoxville x reader
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authors note: Johnny goes by PJ, some things might be innacurate apologies in advance, mentions of homophobic slurs (i can say it)
❥༄ It's a warm july evening, the sunset sky looks like cotton candy, the kids are still out playing, and me and pj are on the steps of his trailer drinking some cold beers. i've known pj ever since me n my mom first moved to Tennesse at age 5. i ponder back on that moment, the memory still fresh in my mind.
❥༄ "y/n! get your boxes from the back of the uhaul girl!" my mother shouted. i sighed and made my way from the empty field to the back of the van we came in while my mother put her belongings inside our new home. a boy around my age with dark chocolate hair, warm brown eyes, and a horrendous haircut came up to me. "are you my new neighbors?" he asked enthusiastically. i nodded shyly. "cool! i'm pj by the way. my trailers right there." i glanced over to where he was pointing. i noticed a brown trailer with white stripes, white steps, and various beer cans and cigarette butts littering the patch of grass in front. i turned back to him and introduced myself back. "my names y/n. my parents divorced so we moved here." "mine are divorced too! wanna be friends?" we've been inseparable ever since.
❥༄ i set down my can with a sigh and put my hands in my hair. i've lived in the same trailer ever since, things never really got better for me and my mom. i started working at the local jcpennys working the beauty department but that's it, and Pjs been working with his dad at his auto repair shop ever since we were 13. pj turned to look at me, his brows furrowed and his eyes fixated on me. "what's troublin' you doll?" i picked my head up with a sad smile. i loved when he called me that. "whens it gonna get better peej?" i let out a dry chuckle. "i mean are we just gonna stay in this town our whole lives? living pay check to pay check?" he huffed and turned away from me. "i don't know y/n...why are you bringing this up?" "because i don't want that to be my life pj. maybe it was good for our parents but...don't you want different?" he took another sip from his can and a long drag from his cigarette and was quiet for a while. "of course i want different but it's not that simple y/n...plus the world needs workers like us and our parents anyway." i couldnt belive what he was saying. it was so out of character for him. he was never one to conform to society despite us growing up in the south where you'd get called a fag for just about anything. but people didn't care when it came to pj. he could be wearing a tutu and still look cool. that's why i didn't understand why he was giving up his future to stay in a town like this when the world had so much more to offer him, to offer us. "you know, i don't get you sometimes pj." i threw my can on the porch and sat up. "when are you gonna wake up y/n?" he shouted at me. i looked at him wint utter confusion painted on my face. he stared back at me with those piercing dark eyes. anytime i looked into them, it was like i was stuck in place, and like the rest of the world was no more, just me and pj. "w-what do you mean?" i spoke. he scoffed at me and continued, still shouting. "do you think it's that easy? that we can just leave this all behind and start a new life like that?" i huffed in frustration and crossed my arms, "that's not what i meant and you know it. i just meant that we both have dreams pj. what about your writing?" he turned away from me and shook his head, his eyes were even darker now due to his mood. i noticed there were imprints on his can due to his grip on it. "what about my writing y/n? you heard my dad." a while ago, pj shared with his dad his dreams of being a writer, and how he wanted to write for this magazine in LA, just to get his foot out the door. his dad didn't take it well at all and said he better get the wrench he asked for because writing won't pay the bills. i stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. pj got up to stomp his cigarette out. when he was done he locked eyes with me. he stared at me with such intensity, it made my knees buckle and my stomach flip. maybe it's a good thing he wore shades 99.9% of the time. i wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug him, let him know that anyone who doubted him didn't know what they were talking about. that me and him could make it on our own. but we were just friends. and he was even more stubborn drunk than he was sober. he turned to go inside then stopped. "you better get home y/n...it's getting dark." i felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes, like bees in the summer time. this wasn't the first time we fought like this, but it's the first time he didn't invite me in afterwards. usually he'd say something along the lines of sorry, or how he has some left over apple pie he needs help eating, really he would say any excuse. but this time, it was like he wanted nothing to do with me. "you're a coward philip and you know it." i shouted. "you have just as much potential as anyone else in this world to do something great, but you're scared!" he stayed with his back towards me, his fists clenched and his head low. "leave y/n."
❥༄ i stared at him until my vision became blurry with tears, which didn't take long. i've always been emotional. i ran away from him, in the direction of our old elementary. i always went there when things became too much to handle and i just needed somewhere to escape to. once i got there i sat on the old rusty swings that squeaked each time you swayed. i felt like shit. maybe i was too hard on pj. it's just that all i wanted was for me and him to have a good future. maybe the reason why i got so mad was because i imagined our futures would be us as lovers, not best friends. i wish i brought one of those beers before i left. i heard rustling coming from my left side and when i turned to look, i saw pj. i turned away and stared at the ground. it was quiet for a while while he sat on the swing beside me. "i'm sorry doll. i didn't mean to yell at you like that, you know how i get when i drink coors." i began to sob as i spoke, "no peej i'm sorry, i was too hard on you." i put my head in my hands and hid my face. pjs eyes scrunched up as he began laughing at me. "oh come on y/n, no need to bring out the water works. we're all good girl" he moved his hand and began rubbing my back. i sniffled and picked my head up, turning to him with a small smile that he returned.
❥༄ it was like that for a while. just me and pj swaying back and forth, till he spoke up. "you know i'm not a coward y/n..." i faced him and frantically began explaining myself. "i know pj i'm sorry it's j-" he cut me off. "the only reason why i'm not doing what i want is because... i wanna keep you close to me." i stayed staring at him. my eyes wider than usual, and my lips tucked between my teeth. "the magazine i wanna write for is based in LA. that means i would have to move there." i remained quiet. he turned to look at me. "come on y/n say some-" it was probably the alcohol more than me, but out of no where, i decided to kiss him. his lips were warm snd soft, i could still taste the cigarettes and coors on his breath. i felt euphoric and nauseous all at once. i pulled away awkwardly and faced him. "i'm sorry peej, i don't know-" he cupped the side of my face and pulled me in for a second kiss. after a minute we pulled away, but we were stuck staring at eachother, like one would disappear if the other dared to look away. "i'll go with you." i spoke, barely above a whisper. pj scrunched his face in confusion. "pardon?" i rolled my eyes at him. sometimes he was such an airhead. "i'll go with you to LA. just say the word and i'll go pj." he stared at me with a goofy crooked smile and picked me up from the swing. i squealed as he threw me over his shoulder. "let's start packing then. we'll get the first flight out as soon as we're done." even though i was upside down and felt dizzy, i couldn't be happier.
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babybammargera · 2 months
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Bunny and Baby Lifeguards on duty
Party boy x fem reader (early jackass era)
You’re sitting on the floor of the van brainstorming ideas for skits with the boys and Jeff. Normally you’d get thrown into something chaotic with Ryan or maybe Ehren but apparently, fans like it when you interact with Party Boy. Jeff looks at you, “How do you feel about doing the lifeguard bit with Pontius?” You shrug and look up from your iPod, “depends on the context. “Tony Hawk just bought a house and the pool is currently empty. And we somehow convinced him to film a bit with Bam, Dave, Steveo, Ehren, and Weeman where they're skating the pool basically slamming into each other trying to skate and you two get to shoot them with paintball guns and look pretty in bikinis. You in?” You crack a smile, “Chris is prettier than me and pulls off a bikini better but I'm down, Bam and Sleepo have been pranking me a ton this week so I'm ready to get them back.”
The next day the crew arrives at the house and everyone is setting up and getting ready. You had already gotten dressed for the day, A black bikini top with the jackass logo on it and short black shorts to match. You touch up your makeup and hair in the mirror then head outside. Pontius bounces up full of energy wearing a full cheetah print bikini with matching bunny ears, “Hey if there's time could you braid my hair in two fishtail braids it's fucking hot.” You nod and sit down on one of the pool chairs Jeff had brought for the bit, “Pigtails?” He settles on the ground between your feet smiling, “You know me so well.” Despite how long his hair is you make quick work of the task and finish them just as Jeff gathers everyone up for filming, “Okay so here's the paintball guns I'll let you two figure out how you wanna introduce the bit but we've settled on Pool of Pain for the name.” he runs to his director's chair and sits down. Pontius strikes a “sexy” pose as Spike starts filming, “Hi I'm Bunny the lifeguard and I'm here with my friend and the true eye candy of jackass y/n and she's helping me on lifeguard duty today at the pool.”You look over your sunglasses at the camera and smile, “This is the Pool of Pain and trust me there's gonna be a lot of it.” You turn as the camera pans to the other boys and nail Steveo right in the leg with a brightly colored paintball. One by one they drop into the pool narrowly avoiding each other at first but then quickly beginning to collide as they try to avoid the paintballs. Ryan is the first to bail scrambling out of the pool tossing the battered-up skateboard he probably borrowed from Bam to the side, “All right I'm out!” You crack up at the sight, “Come on Ry can't take the heat?” He flips you off and lays in the grass. Soon the others follow suit one by one crawling out of the empty pool with various bruises and scrapes splattered with neon paint. Steveo gets close to the camera wiping his face with his shirt, “That fucking sucked dude.” Jeff giggling behind the monitors calls it a wrap. Adjusting your top you glance at your partner in crime for the day, “Ya know if you take away the paintballs it looked pretty fun.” Tony walks by and puts his helmet on your head, “Go skate if you want.” You make a face and set the sweaty helmet to the side before picking up Bam and Steveo's discarded boards, “care to join the party Pontus?” He grins and takes off his bunny ears, “hell yeah!”
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michelle-is-writing · 2 months
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Forgotten Dinner, Johnny Knoxville
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Word Count: 1.7k~
Warning: Little bit of angst, forgotten anniversary, sexual themes mentioned
The food in front of me made me sick to my stomach, seeing all of it just sit there without having been touched. A couple hours of putting it all together and setting it up seemed like a waste now as I haven’t even taken a bite of it since I put it on the table. I wanted to wait for Johnny to get home, but even though he had told me he’d be sure to be at home by 6, I still find myself alone as the clock on the stove turns from 10 to 11 pm. Today isn’t our marriage anniversary, but it is the anniversary of the day we met, so I wanted to surprise Johnny with dinner and a new lingerie set I got. It doesn’t help that he’s not answering the phone either, and I’m starting to feel like it all of this was a waste now.
Choosing to head to bed instead of wait up any longer, I put all of the food away in the fridge and lazily toss the dirty dishes in the sink before heading out of the kitchen. Just as I reach the hallway, the sound of keys in the door stop me, leaving me to turn toward the front door and watch Johnny walk in. He wears a laughing grin on his face until he sees me by the hallway, still dressed in the velvet dress I picked out for tonight. At the same time, my eyes catch the butterfly bandages stripped across his eyebrow and the several bandages wrapped around his forearm.
“Hi, baby,” he says, an almost awestruck look currently on his face as he takes in my appearance. He certainly looks pleasantly surprised. “You look… fucking fantastic, what are you all dressed up for?” Hearing his words make me smile, but I still feel a small bit of heart ache at the reminder of the food I made and how much planning I put into tonight.
“Um, nothing anymore,” I almost mutter, reaching hand up to mess with the clip in my hair as I look to the carpeted floors. “You told me you were going to be home at 6, what happened?” I can’t help but ask him, crossing my arms in front of me as I swallow down the nauseous feeling in my throat.
“Jeff asked me if I could help film another skit with the guys, so I stayed to help them and kind of hurt myself,” he tells me, still lingering by the front door as he continues looking me up and down with that same facial expression. However this changes in a few moments as an almost scared look takes over him. “I… I think I forgot something important, what did I forget? What is today?” He asks, now closing the door as he begins racking his brain. Before he gets too far, I stop him and simply inform him by reminding him of today’s date.
“It’s the day we met,” I bitterly remind him, watching the color drain from him. My stomach somehow churns even more seeing the guilt take over his face. “You told me you’d be home at six, but it’s eleven now. I made dinner, it’s in the fridge. I think I’m just going to… go take a shower and go to bed,” I say, shaking my head lightly.
Just as I begin to turn to head up to our room, Johnny stops me. “What? I just got home, don’t you want to stay up for a little?” He asks, stepping into the middle of the living room. “Baby I’m so sorry I completely forgot today, please, I’d love to spend time with you.”
In any other moment, I would’ve smiled at the sweet words leaving his lips, but knowing he forgot that today was the day we met and that we had plans makes the smile stay away. “I think I’ve stayed up long enough,” I say to him, turning my face down to the floor again. “Goodnight, Johnny.”
Before he says anymore, I head up the stairs and into our room where I close our door and let my tears fall. He stayed back for the guys on the one night we discussed him being home on time. If only he could’ve done this any other night, then the issue wouldn't be as severe. There have been many nights in the past where Johnny has stayed late on set, but even then, he texted me on those nights to tell me - unlike tonight when he wouldn’t respond to any of my texts or calls.
After locking our bedroom door, I walk into our bathroom and stand in front of the counter. Staring into the mirror, I watch as my mascara slowly rolls down my face, causing me to wipe it away with a tissue. I really liked my makeup and outfit tonight, and I was really looking forward to Johnny seeing me dressed up tonight and how he might react. Although, I was anticipating how he would react to what I have on underneath my dress more.
With a small sigh, I throw the tissue in my hand away before sliding the straps of my dress down with the rest of the material following it. Looking back into the mirror, I run my hands down my lace clad hips and up to the straps of the matching lacy bra. As I adjust the straps to better hold it’s contents, I step back to look at myself in our mirror and smile. At least I like the way I look tonight. The set came with a waist band that connects to the underwear and it only helps to accentuate my waist and hips even more. I was hoping Johnny would enjoy it too.
A loud crash beside me scares me away from the sink and over to the bathroom window that is now open as Johnny clambers through it, putting his upper body through before almost throwing his legs in behind him. At the same time he does this, his head hits the corner of our bathtub, causing a groan to leave his lips as he crumbles on the floor and I rush toward him. Despite my questions over his head, Johnny barely pays attention to his own pain as his focus shifts to my lingerie clad body. “You were wearing that? For me?” He asks, still lying in the floor unmoving as if he were awestruck. “Baby, holy shit, when did you get this set?”
“Johnny, that’s not important!” I exclaim as I get on my knees beside him to observe his head. He didn’t crack it open, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t give himself yet another concussion. “You hit your head!”
“It’s not the first time, don’t worry please,” he reminds me, moving to sit up with a small smile. “I deserve it after making you wait for me all night dressed like this,” Johnny adds, looking me up and down with a sigh. “I’m so sorry, babe, after I got hurt, we sat around and iced all of our injuries. Not to mention, I broke my phone during the fall too,” he further explains, “I’m so, so sorry I forgot about tonight.”
After a few seconds, I sigh and brush the hair away from Johnny’s forehead where a goose egg is already forming. “I wouldn’t say you deserved to hit your head, specifically,” I tell him, “You’re not good at remembering dates, I know that; mostly because of the many times you have hit your head in the past,” My comment earns a guilty smile from Johnny as he turns to look away, knowing he can’t deny it. “But I do wish you would’ve been home earlier.”
“I should’ve been, and I am so sorry, baby,” he apologizes once more, closing his eyes before turning his head back to me. “You have no idea how sorry I am. I hate that I made you wait up, I hate that I’ve made you cry,” he adds, his eyes now open as he moves a hand up to brush against my previously tear stained face. “I’ll start being home by 6 every night, I’ll bring you flowers every week, I’ll let you tase me, whatever you want - please forgive me.”
His offers make me want to giggle, but I want to try and stay as serious as I can for right now. “I have a few ideas,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine before helping him stand up. He doesn’t wobble or anything, which is good; at least he doesn’t seem to have yet another brain injury to add to the long list of previous ones. For a few moments, Johnny looks me up and down like he did when he was on the floor, albeit this time, he doesn’t look so dopey. “Why don’t you start by helping me out of this?”
At my suggestion, he grins. “Of course, but babe,” Johnny starts, letting go of my hands to wrap one arm around my waist while he grabs my leg with his other hand. All the while, I brace myself on Johnny by holding onto his shoulders as he pulls me flush against him, my leg now curled around his hip with his arm keeping it secure there. “Tonight’s all about you, and I know it’s our anniversary but you deserve so much tonight,” he further tells me, sincerity deep in his voice. “I promise, I’ll try my hardest to make it up to you.”
After a few moments, I smile at Johnny. “I’ll hold you to that,” I tell him, earning a smile back from him. “I love you, Johnny, even when your bad memory gets the best of you,” I add, causing him to laugh before connecting our lips. At the same time, he takes his arm away from my waist to pick my other leg up and hold me, causing me to cling to him even more as he begins carrying me to our shared bed. Lying me down on it, Johnny breaks our kiss and pulls away to smile down at me.
“I love you too, baby,” he murmurs, staring at me with a hazed look in his eyes. That is, until a smirk makes its way onto his face. “Now, just relax,” Johnny tells me, his hands sliding underneath the lace of my bra as he perches himself between my legs. “And I’ll show you just how sorry I am.”
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dunnswrld · 2 years
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The "Enhancement" Pill
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a/n: This isn't a request but this idea has been lingering in my mind so I thought why not write it!
prompt: The boys come up with stunt where they all take sex pills and see who caves first, unfortunately (and fortunately) Johnny has you..
warnings: SMUT! swearing, sex pills, fem!reader, sub Johnny kinda?!?
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"Hi I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is the Enhancement Pill." Johnny sighed as he held the small pill in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. "Man do we really have to do this?" Dave asked with a pain looked on his face. "Yes just take them already." Jeff spoke annoyed. "Well the whole world is about to see my ding ding harder than a turnbuckle." Johnny said with a laugh, everyone else joining him.
The whole idea of the stunt was that five of the Jackass boys, which in this case was Johnny, Dave, Steve-o, Chris, and Bam would take sex enhancement pills and whoever was able to keep it together the longest would win the challenge. Though there was no prize, just bragging rights.
"Fuck it dude." Steve-o said as he quickly downed the pill, not even having to take it with water. At that point the rest of the guys didn't want to seem like pussies so they all downed their pill. "God this is going to fucking suck major ass." Bam said as he realized what he just did, rubbing his hands down his face.
"Who takes sex pills at 10am?" Chris said with a goofy smile, "Idiots like us do." Steve-o laughed.
It was only two hours later and the cameras were rolling as the five boys sat inside the office at a table in a circle. A blush spread across all their cheeks.
Bam laid with his head rested down, Steve-o laid back in his chair staring at the ceiling trying his hardest to shift his mind to something else, Chris sat stiff and still for the first time in the history of Jackass, Dave had his head in his hands every so often shifting his hips, and lastly Johnny sat with his hands covering the tent in his pants and his sunglasses covering his face.
"This sucks!" Bam said muffled into his arms, laughs being heard through out the room. "It isn't even enjoyable it just hurts." Chris said as he rubbed his hands down his face. "God I really hope my mom doesn't watch this movie." Johnny said as the camera panned over to him, trying his best to make light of his situation. His hands remanded over his boner trying his best to stay modest in this situation.
"Come on it can't be that bad." Jeff said with a cocky snicker, "Shut up Jeff!" The whole table said in union. "God I don't think I've ever been this turned on over nothing in my life." Dave said, audibly in pain. Jeff jokingly ran his hand down Dave's back which was quickly slapped away by Dave. "Dude I'm not even kidding do not touch me right now." He snapped. Chris couldn't help but chuckle.
"Shit I don't think I can sit here much longer." Steve-o laughed breathy as he began to tap his foot. "Same here." Bam said with his head down. "You two would be the first to cave." Ehren said behind the camera. Bam's head snapped up to look up at Ehren with a angry confused look. "What the fuck does that mean?"
Johnny was cancelling out the bickering of all the boys as he only had one focus which was you, his girlfriend. His pants seems to tighten more uncomfortably as he pictured you in that white lacy matching bra and underwear you wear that he loves, or when you whine into his mouth when you two kiss, and the noises you make when he is going down on you.
If Johnny kept thinking of you there was no way he would be able to last in this challenge.
"Whatcha thinking about Knoxville?" Wee-man chuckled, the focus of the cameras panning over to him once again. "I have no shame in saying my girlfriend." Johnny said with a smile that told the viewers what kind of thoughts he was thinking about you. "Good thing she's coming in today to bring lunch than right?" Wee-man laughed.
Johnny's face went pale as it set in that you were bringing in lunch for everyone today since it was Friday. "Ah fuck." Johnny said quietly. "What's the time?" Johnny turned and asked the crowd of people behind the cameras. "Almost 12:40." Someone said, Johnny groaned loudly as he realized you would be here at any moment.
You were the first and last person he wanted to see right now. Johnny put a hand on his face. "Tell her not to come in here with the food I can't see her right now-" "You don't want to see me Pj?" Johnny's head whipped to the familiar voice of you. He saw you holding four pizza boxes that were meant for lunch. "No that's not what I meant I-" "He took a sex pill and can't cave or he loses the challenge." Ryan said with a devilish smirk.
The room was silent until it was soon filled with your loud laughter. "Oh you're fucked." You said between laughs, Johnny's face a bright red. You reached over your boyfriend and set the four pizza boxes on the table. Johnny's hand went to your lower back by habit, rubbing up and down slowly. "Handsy?" You said poking his cheek lightly and walking away from the table. Johnny's hand staying on your lower back till you were too far away for him to touch.
Chris was the first to grab a pizza box and open it Steve-o reaching over to snag a piece from the box. Everyone soon began to grab slices of pizza, everyone but Johnny. He was too focused on you and how great you looked today even in just a Jackass t-shirt and jeans. He watched as you exited the room, most likely to go find paper plates for everyone to use. Johnny was quick to stand up and head to the door.
"I'm gonna go use the bathroom." Johnny said to everyone, okays were heard through out the room really not caring where Johnny went since they all were focused on the pizza right now, the other four boys who took the pills finally not focused on nasty thoughts. But that was until Chris realized Johnny had a hard on just like him and the three other guys. "Hey wait is he going to jerk off?" Chris said with a mouth full of food. Bam began looking around the room for Yn. "More like fuck Yn." Bam chuckled. "Lucky asshole." Steve-o grumbled.
Johnny sped walked down the long hallway, his hands still covering the tent in his pants. He peaked into each room he past praying that you'd be in one that was empty and had a lock on the door. Johnny hit the door of the supply room where he saw you just like he expected looking for paper plates.
"Oh Johnny! Do you think you could grab the paper plates off the shelf for me? I can't reach them." You said to your taller boyfriend. Johnny walked into the supply room and shut the door behind him using the hand that wasn't covering the tent in his pants. You heard a small click from the lock on the door signaling that Johnny had locked it. "Uh Johnny?" You asked, furrowing your brows at him.
"Listen, doll, I am harder than a bolder right now and all I want is for it to go away- could you help me out, please?" You looked at your boyfriend, seeing your refection in his black sunglasses. "In here?" You said gritted through your teeth. "No one will hear I swear! They all are in the room way down the hall." Johnny said as he pointed in the direction of the room.
You stood there for a minute thinking of it, it's true that no one would hear unless they came down here. But even if they tried to get into this room the door was locked so there wouldn't be a way for them to see you and Johnny.
"Well are there cameras in here?" You asked quietly, "No there isn't, they took them out last week cause they were planning on getting new ones." Johnny quickly responded to you. You rubbed your lips together realizing that it was private and no one would really see you two. Plus you couldn't lie, Johnny begging for you like this was really getting you going.
"Ok but it has to be quick." A weight was lifted off Johnny's shoulders as he heard your words. "Oh you are the best." Johnny said as he walked over to you, crashing your lips together. Johnny wasted no time deepening the kiss quickly making it messy and needy. Johnny's hands running up and down every square inch of your body he could easy access.
Johnny began to push you both back till the back of your knees hit the back of the old table causing you to sit on the table. You wrapped your legs around Johnny, tossing your arms around his neck. Johnny pulled away from the kiss and began to undo his belt, "I'm sorry doll but I can't wait much longer." He chuckled softly. You began to unbutton your jeans as Johnny pulled his belt off of his pants and move onto the button on his pants.
You pulled your jeans down to your ankles and Johnny did the same. You looked down at his boxers to see his very visible boner. Then looking up at Johnny who had taken his sunglasses off and put them onto his head. A blush spread across his cheeks and his eyes hung low, he looked like he was craving something.
"You're so beautiful, so so beautiful." Johnny said as he pulled his boxers down, not breaking eye contact with you. Johnny's hard sprung up out of his boxers, his tip was leaking with pre-cum and was a angry red color. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you felt Johnny's hands pull down your underwear.
"This won't take long." Johnny breathlessly laugh. Johnny moved closer to you as you put your hands behind you on the table offering more support. He rubbed his cock slowly between your folds as he let out a whine, tilting his head backwards. Johnny then slowly entered into you, a groan coming from his lips as he looked down at the sight of you taking him in.
"Sh-shit." Johnny said as he dropped his head into your shoulder. You decided to take action and move your hips up and down groans coming from Johnny's lips as you did so. "Just like that- ah! You treat me so good doll." Your bottom lip sucked between your teeth as you listened to Johnny's words, your face becoming hot.
Johnny began to move in and out of you at a steady pace, not to fast, not to slow. The sound of skin clapping and breathless moans quickly filled the room, the idea of being quiet was quickly thrown out the window.
"Feels so good Johnny." You said as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Johnny didn't respond to you he only let out a moan as he quickened the pace of his thrusts.
"Oh god doll, I'm so close." You could tell he was close from his high pitched moans and whimpers. "Keep going Johnny don't stop."
"Oh god doll you feel so good- I'm gonna cum-" Johnny said, he began to babble about how good you felt and how much he loved you. Saying stuff like:
"I love the way you make me feel, I love it so much."
"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"Wanna make you feel good too doll."
Johnny's hips buckled, as he finally hit his high. Moans and whimpers coming from his lips as you began to move your hips onto his, trying to help him ride out his high as you hit your high; a high pitched moan coming from your throat as you did so.
Johnny and you both sat there for a minute panting as you both tried to get the energy to begin to clean up. "You're lucky I'm on birth control." Johnny laughed at your words. "I am very lucky."
Johnny picked his head up from your shoulder and slowly removed himself out of you. Johnny looked to the shelf to his left and grabbed several tissues from an open box. Johnny gently cleaned you up before he cleaned himself up, pulling his boxers and pants up along with putting his belt back on.
Johnny gave you a peck on your lips as he gently helped you off the table, he bent down to the floor and pulled up your underwear and jeans up for you. Even buttoning up your pants for you. Johnny gave you another kiss but this time on the cheek.
"I love you." He smiled, "I love you too, horny bastard." Johnny laughed as you both walked to the door. Johnny paused and reached back to the shelf grabbing the paper plates you had originally gone in the supply room for. You opened the door, the lock clicking open as you did so. You were expecting a empty hallway but when you opened the door you saw a group of people and camera pointing in your face.
"Oh god." You said as you covered your face from embarrassment. Johnny was behind you holding a stack of paper plates. "So what were you two doing?" Bam teased. "Grabbing paper plates." Johnny said with a cocky smirk that gave away what you two were really doing.
"You must think I'm stupid if I'm eating off a plate that you just touched after fucking!" Wee-man said earning a large laugh from the group of people, everyone but you.
"God this is so embarrassing... wait don't put this in the film! My mom is going to watch this!"
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philipjohnclapp · 9 months
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Heyy idk of ur requests are open
If they are, could you please do some head canons with Steve-o with a 2000s popstar reader like, kind of like Britney Spears because I fucking love her btw looooove ur writing 💗💗💗
Steve-O Dating a Popstar Reader Headcanons
A/N: I hope this is okay, I’ve mastered Steve-O to a T, Y/N? Not so much. This might work; if y’all want more feel free to request. implied female reader.
- You’re his bimbo girlfriend even if you aren’t a bimbo.
- That’s his name for you.
- He thinks your smoking hot.
- Wonders how he ended up with you.
- His friends think you’re an escort, at least at first they did.
- Now they think you’re his sugar baby.
- Listens to all your music and is very supportive; even though he’s a rocking roll man.
- Fucked around once and turned the amplifier up so loud, and got so close his ears bled.
- Was listening to your music at the time, he said your music was and I quote “so good that his ears bled.”
- Literally almost went deaf.
- He goes with you everywhere pretty much, you call him your “trophy boyfriend.”
- Definitely do all the “rockstar” like shit and get wasted.
- You constantly tell him you aren’t a rockstar.
- One time he asked you if you were friends with Tommy Lee.
- He got jealous?
- And then he threw up and passed out.
- Y’all cuddle every night.
- Especially after sex.
- Let’s you sometimes do makeup on him, he proceeded to bat his lashes and then he was kissing all the guys to mess with him.
- Somehow he contracted crabs or something from it and you made him sleep in a different room for like a month.
- He was sad.
- ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS does some sort of trick on stage before you preform.
- Hangs out in the mosh pit a LOT.
- Sometimes as a gag when you bring him on stage he acts like a fan girl and goes nuts.
- Kisses you with tongue in front of everyone.
- Especially on stage just because.
- Tried to learn the guitar so he could preform with you and he failed.
- That also made him reaally sad.
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downtownbunnybaby · 1 year
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Johnny Knoxville x SNL Cast Member Headcanons
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A/N: Ignore the fact the SNL cast and Jackass timeline is inaccurate. This is my fantasy, and if I want Bill Hader and Johnny Knoxville to interact...THEY WILL. This is the most self-indulgent thing I have ever written.
[Johnny Knoxville x G!N Reader]
Warnings: None. SFW.
Words: 601
The two of you hit it off instantly when he hosted Saturday Night Live. It was evident to everyone that he preferred your sketches, even pitching for you to be the second lead. Not caring that it was painfully obvious he was flirting with you. 
“So, I was thinking you and Bill can—” 
“Actually, can you be in it, doll?” 
After the week concludes, the two of you promise to stay in contact. You’re constantly talking over the phone and flying out to each other's cities. So it’s no surprise to your SNL friends and the Jackass guys when you announce you’re dating. 
During breaks, you fly down to LA, making several appearances in episodes of Jackass as a background character. Despite your longing to join in your boyfriend’s antics, Knoxville never allows you in the stunts. In fear of you getting injured. 
“Can’t have that pretty face of yours telling jokes with a bruised eye,” 
However, in the first Jackass, you finally appear in a stunt pranking your SNL family. 
“HI! I’m Y/N, and welcome to Studio 8H,” 
You and the Jackass group are running around, using shopping carts to crash into cast members’ offices. 
“Dave, why don't you leave a gift for Fred on his couch,” 
We all know Lorne Michaels wanted Knoxville to join the cast, so he doesn’t mind when Knox is around during the week or rehearsals. Or when you “accidentally” write sketches that are made for Johnny to be featured. 
“...So you don’t want Seth to play the character or Andy. So, who do you want to play them?”
“Well…there’s one person I have in mind,”
“It’s Johnny, isn’t it,”
“No—yes, it’s Johnny,” 
Both groups love your relationship. 
Your SNL family adores Johnny and has also hopped on the trend of writing sketches for him when he’s around or pritching stunts for him to feature in Jackass. 
“Y/N! Show Johnny this stunt I wrote for him,” 
“Will, this isn’t a stunt,” Scanning the script, you laugh at the proposal. “This is five pages of you and Knoxville going on a romantic date. I’m not going to let you steal my boyfriend." Snatching the script, Will mutters about knowing him first before storming into his office. Queue Jason Sudekis and Andy Samberg tossing their text seeing you reject Will Forte. 
The Jackass guys think you are the funniest person and constantly ask you to join their group. 
“Come on, Y/N, leave SNL and join us,” 
“No, Steveo, I would like to stay alive for my third season,” 
“Your loss,” He said, swallowing a goldfish. “You can replace Knoxville.” 
You convince Lorne to let Knoxville host again, and it’s the most-viewed episode of the season. The cast and writers write sketches that showcase not only you and Knox’s comedic chemistry but also romantic chemistry. 
Somehow the romantic date sketch Will wrote made it into the show. Of course, Will takes the opportunity to make you a waiter that gets obliterated by food and has to fall onto tables and chairs. Knox has one hell of a time pretending to be on a date with Will—occasionally breaking character from the insanity. 
In the green room, Johnny lets you know he only has eyes for you. The appreciation makes you late for your appearance on Weekend Update. 
Seth makes sure to comment on your shortness of breath and disheveled appearance. 
“You alright, Y/N? You seem to be out of breath,” 
“Long walk.”
“It’s five feet…and you rolled over.” 
Naturally, you and Johnny are infatuated with one another, despite being on opposite ends of the comedic spectrum. 
TAGLIST:
@asskickedbygirl @captainboomaray @morbidxmagic @spoookyberry
TAGLIST FORM
A/N: this is such a niche, and I'm probably the only person benefiting from these headcanons.
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dunnsgirl · 2 years
Text
Jackass Girl Headcannons
this is how i picture a girl jackass member in my head
bruises all over her legs that she got from who knows where
isn't afraid to physically fight someone
and will not hesitate to kick a guy in the dick
has probably gotten into a few heated arguments with Johnny "girls getting hurt isn't funny" Knoxville
rarely wears makeup
and when she does wear makeup, it's the bare minimum
the guys constantly hitting her in the boobs with stuff
closest with chris, steve-o, and ryan
gets so excited when chris and steve-o invite her onto wildboyz
"how dare nature make bears so dangerous yet so huggable"
they'll find out a way to get her to hug a bear
she cries from happiness
"i've never seen you cry before"
"i can't help it, i'm so happy"
has seen all of the guys' dicks
and will make fun of them
worse with cursing than any of the guys
"you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"no, but i've kissed yours"
will scream "OW MY PENIS" if she gets hit in the crotch
dick jokes! dick jokes! dick jokes!
smart sometimes
probably went to college
and will bring it up when she's doing something stupid
"i'm (name) and i have a college degree" *gets thrown into a bush*
tried to be as clean as possible at first
gave up
gets upset when she isn't in a fun stunt
"YOU GUYS WENT URBAN KYACKING WITHOUT ME?!"
probably had a crush on stephanie
one of her bits is dressing as a fuckboy and hitting on people
definitely makes the guys go through labor simulation
wears graphic tees to red carpets
owns maybe one dress
gets asked the worst questions at interviews
“are you dating any of the guys?”
“no, are you?”
was probably a dancer
and the guys make fun of her for it all the time
because they can't imagine this girl being graceful
very light on her feet
sneaks up on the guys all the time
"whatcha doin?"
"WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET THERE?!"
kicked johnny in the nuts during the first cup test
high kicked one of the guys in the face
"holy shit!"
"i told you i could do it!"
just the coolest person
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dangerehrenn · 4 months
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I hope ur good and love your writing it's so good :)
quick question tho, how do you think the boys would react to pierced nipples on their partner????
ohhh they would go crazy
the boys finding out you have nipple piercings
in this: johnny, chris, bam
suggestive content
im gonna do this with the same scenario, and different reactions
it’s a regular day, filming new overly dangerous content with the guys, and someone has the genius idea for you to do a stunt into the water.
(like steveos stunt where he vaulted into the water from the bridge or whatever it was lol).
your boyfriend has been given the task of explaining the stunt to you, and as he’s explaining, you take your hoodie off in preparation. only to realise, shit. your shirt came off with your hoodie.
as your relationship with your boyfriend is relatively new, he had no idea you had nipple piercings…
well. he does now.
johnny:
he immediately stumbles over his words as you slowly realise you’ve just flashed your boyfriend
he clears his throat, then that signature knoxville smirk covers his face
“well. i didn’t know about those” he says cheekily, pointing at your nipple piercings that youre desperately trying to cover up
he’ll tell you to move your hands so he can get a better look
which earns him a slap on the arm for being so cheeky
“i like em baby. why cover them up?” he says, chuckling
he tries to steal a few more glances, then he’ll kiss you and carry on explaining the stunt to you
for the rest of the shoot, he seems very distracted, always lost in his thoughts
you catch his eye as he smirks to himself, and he blushes slightly before smiling again.
you know exactly what he was thinking about
chris:
oh boy
now he’s had a glimpse of them, he has to see them again
now, he’s a gentleman
so he’ll help you cover up
but he quickly ushers you away from everyone else and somewhere private
“since when?” he says, giggling
you play dumb, asking him what he’s talking about
which prompts him to pretend to grab his own boobs
“your piercings, babe” he says, smirking
he asks you the regular questions, did it hurt, is it sensitive, what happens if someone has a magnet
all that stuff
for the rest of the day, he’s distracted - staring constantly
“babe, do you think i’d suit them?”
bam:
he’s a little shit
so he steals your shirt and hoodie
“move your hands and i’ll give you your shirt back” he says, smirking
if you’re adamant you’re not gonna show him, he gives you your shirt back with a sheepish apology
he disappears for a minute, then comes back in time to see you do the stunt (take what you want from this ;) )
he drops the subject for the rest of the shoot, but you can tell he’s thinking about them
afterwards when you’re relaxing, you can tell he’s still thinking about them
so flash the man and let him be happy
“jesus christ are you tryin’ to kill me?” he smirks
or just tell him he can ask the questions he has
he’s like chris, asking the usual questions
and of course
“can i touch them?” he asks with his cheeky smile
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Shirts I imagine the jackass girl wears || <33
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johnnyknoxvilleswife · 4 months
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Jackass Clutterboard - potentially inspired by a jackass girl
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johnny-coxville · 1 year
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I was thinking maybe for a really smutty Johnny fic. The reader asks Johnny if he wants to try something new, she’s wants to see if he’ll cum inside her as they’ve never done that, Johnny gets super excited and super into it. With some dirty praise along the way and goofy excitement from knox ?
I'm sorry it's a bit short and not exactly on promt, but I'll gladly remaster it as soon as I'm free! Hope you enjoy it. :)
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
At Last.
Johnny Knoxville x fem!reader nsfw
Time in bed with Johnny was never a bore. He always found something new to task you with. Position, praise, you name it. He made you feel good in everything he did. This time was entirely different.
You sat across from him at the wooden dinner table. A cute tablecloth laid across the table complimenting the decorations of your apartment. Johnny fiddled with the bottom of the cloth as he ate. Looking up at you every now and then to smile.
Once you were nearly finished with your plate, you paused. Taking a long gaze at him. He paused as well, his chewing put on hold. “What’s the matter?” He questioned with a mouthful of food. You grinned. “Nothing. I was just thinking about something.” You said twirling your fork around the plate.
He swallowed his food and cocked an eyebrow. “Anddd that iss?” He said with a side smile. You blushed with a small giggle. “Nothing!” You said teasing. Standing up from the table, emptying the rest of your leftover pasta into a pot. Heading to the sink to wash your dish. Johnny scooted out of his chair and followed.
He dropped his food into the pot and sat his plate on the counter. You ran the water for a moment, squirting the soap onto the sponge. Behind you, he wrapped his arms around your waist. Kissing your neck and exposed shoulders.
You leaned into his touch, scrubbing the plate in front of you. You pressed your ass out, pushing it against his crotch. “Is this what you wanted to tell me?” He said pressing himself closer. You shook your head. “Johnny.” You said softly. You purposely drew out the situation just for the thrill. “I want you to cum in me.” You said nearly silent.
His movements were still a second. “Wait… Really? He said with almost a giggle. Like a child being told they were allowed to have a puppy. “Yes, Johnny.” You said setting the cleaned plates on the drying rack and twisting the sink off.
Mere seconds passing, he spun you around. Shoving your back against the ledge of the sink. Dipping down to your face to kiss you. His hands gripping onto your waist. You kissed him back, bringing your hands up to caress your face.
You pulled back with a small. “Calm down killer. You’re hurting my back on the sink.” You said giggling. He chuckled and stepped back. Letting you adjust your back. “If I had known I would’ve worn my cute g-string!” Johnny joked.
You sneered. “I’ll pass on that one.” You said walking towards the bedroom. You could feel the excitement radiating off of him. He had been waiting for this moment for months. Johnny entered the room behind you, shutting the door. You turned towards him and backed away slowly.
Your legs hit the front of the bed. He approached, pulling the shirt off of your body. He smiled wide. A smile that was almost always plastered across his face. You reached out and pulled off his own. Revealing his toned chest. He backed away a couple feet.
“Let’s not waste time honey. I know exactly what I want, and went I want it. I want you. Now. Get those clothes off.” He said beginning to unbutton his pants. He sent shivers down your body. You did what he said, and wasted no time. Sliding down your jeans, and slipping down your underwear. Looking up, all that he was left in was his boxers.
He grabbed your waist, pulling you close to his warm body. Resting his forehead against your own. He was significantly taller than you, his head tilting down to you. He shifted his face and began to kiss you. Immediately entering your mouth with his tongue. You explored each other’s body’s like you always did.
Though the interactions were more aggressive- more- yearning. You couldn’t wait any longer. You tugged his boxers down, and he took this as an invitation to remove your shirt and bra. Both of you struggled to shimmy off your articles of clothing but now left skin to skin. The warmth of your body’s burning each other.
You two backed against the bed, hitting the edge. He smiled and gently laid you against the made sheets. Soft against your bare back. The smiles shared between you two were genuine, and full of anticipation. He inched his way on top of you finding a comfortable position.
You knew he would start out gentle, inevitably leaving you a sore mess. He clicked his tongue and grabbed a pillow from behind you. Making sure both your head and lower back was supported.
Kneeling down into you he traced his fingers around your curves. He slowly pushed himself inside. A brand new sensation you had never experienced before. Thankfully with the grown anticipation, you were unbelievably soaked. Making his entry smooth.
His mouth just barely agape as he fully entered. “Wow.” was all he could mutter. You snickered at the dorky look on his face. Though admittedly just feeling him inside of you, entirely bare, was enough to make you howl.
His arms caged around your sides as he was inches away from your face. His warm breath tickling your nose. He began to pump. A slow pace for a start, but he was never patient.
As he picked up on his pace, your eyes were locked with his. Trying your best not to change expression. Johnny pushed himself deep and hard. Grunting every now and then when he changed pace. “Does it feel good sweetie?’ He whispered, a smile still wide across his face.
You nodded your head in response, hoping for something more. Noticing your lack of expression, he pulled out of you. He took your left breast into his mouth, and your right was graced with his twiddling fingers. Switching breasts he sucked and licked you in contentment.
He pulled away from you, standing up. He grabbed at his aching cock, and gave it a pump. Biting down on his lip as he admired your body.
He reached a hand out for you to grab, not saying anything. Giving a confused look you took his help and stood off the bed. He let go of your hand and stepped away from the foot of the bed. “You’re really going to feel it now. Get on that bed and arch for Johnny.” He said stepping over to you, giving you a firm smack.
You couldn’t help but giggle, and by that point, Johnny completely lost his composure. Letting out a hardy laugh. “I can’t take this so seriously! But god you’re fucking sexy.” He said rubbing his hands together in a silly manner.
You rolled your eyes and made your way back onto the bed. You got down on your hands and knees and arched your back as far as it would give. Pressing your face into the pillow. “Thatt’s it.” He said pressing his knee’s into the bed.
As you felt the weight shift, the anticipation that was long growing in you was ready to burst. He grabbed at your waist and shifted you until you were lined up with him. He was a lot larger than you, making for easy access to his favorite parts of you. He pressed inside of you rubbing your sides.
Though this time he wasn’t going to be gentle, nor slow. He slammed in and out. Scraping his nails along your figure. Pressing his head against your side. He rocked your body into him as he kept his pace. You screamed in pleasure, soaking the pillow you rested your face on.
For the first time you had heard Johnny moaning and howling almost as loud as you. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for so fucking long.” He said grasping for your hanging breasts. Squeezing one with one hand, using the other to press bruises into your side.
"I've never felt you so soaked. You really wanted this huh? I bet you've wanted to feel my bare dick sooo fucking bad." He said with a strained laugh.
You grunted in response. Finding it hard to hang onto your breath. "I'm going to make sure you're fucking dripping with my cum baby." He said squeezing you harder.
Neither of you lasted very long. Screaming each other's names, almost drowning out the wet sounds of you both. As he nearly came to his edge, he bit into your shoulder. Making you cry out in painful pleasure.
“I’m going to fucking cum..” He grunted, pressing himself as deep as he could. As he hit your sweet spot, you thrashed in pleasure. Needing to be held still as you screamed. You could feel his hot cum filling you, a strong pressure making you feel even more full.
He didn’t stop until you were overfull. Pulling out you leaked cum. Your ass was covered in handprints, and your pussy was swollen. Though it was the most satisfaction you had ever felt. “I’m so glad I had been saving that. If I had any idea you were planning this I would’ve made it much more special.” Johnny said heading into the closet for a towel. “Rammed you harder than any bull that’s ever rammed me.” Johnny giggled. You sighed with a laugh. Relaxing your back, and laying on your stomach. Your body throbbed, but god. It was so worth it.
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☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
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glitterinmyveinss · 7 months
Text
// Back to the Basics //
steve- o x fem!reader
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summary: you and steveo used to be best friends, knowing eachother since highschool and all. but growing up sucks. Especially when your best friend who you had/have a massive crush on now does coke off of models backs.
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❥ ༄ you were so happy for steve-o when his career as a stunt man finally took off. you've know him since highschool and knew that it was definitely the right career for him. You remembered how you two would always go to the park after school and you would just sit and watch him skate, occasionally you would ask him to teach you.
❥༄ "well first you have to put your foot on the board dude" steveo said with a sarcastic tone. you looked at him and pouted "obviously i know that but which one?" for once, he was looking at 𝘆𝗼𝘂 like you were the dumb one. of course you kinda knew which foot you were supposed to put on the board, but steveo just intimated you so much you lost all knowledge around him and it was like your brain was constantly short circuiting. it was that or all the pot you guys smoked last period. he shook his head and laughed. "put down your most dominant foot babe." your heart did a little skip at that. it wasn't unusual for steveo to use pet names with you, but still, everytime he did it made you flustered...and confused. hesitantly, you put your foot on the board. steveo nodded then spoke up "ok now your other foot, then stand sideways, and push with the first foot you put down." you did as told and started moving. you guys were both laughing as you started to get the hang of it "awesome y/n you're better than when i started!" you blushed and smiled at him "thanks stevie" he gave you a soft smile, then ushered for you to follow him. "come on man let's get some tacos from this truck i'm starved." you got off the board and handed it to him and began following him. you loved this side of steve. everyone else thought he was jsut some rich obnoxious asshole who loved attention. and while that wasn't too far from the truth, he still had a loveable side like everyone else. he was extremely funny and could make you smile no matter what mood you were in, he was actually pretty smart at times, and was whole heartedly kind. to you at least. not so much everyone else. you wish everyone could see his soft side so they would understand why you hung out with him, but you also liked how it was reserved just for you.
❥༄ now it's 2002 and "Jackass: The Movie" was doing rounds in the ticket office. Your and Steveos relationship became basically non existent ever since he joined jackass. he started blowing you off to go hang out with other people you didn't even know, started partying a lot more, (if that was even possible) and he was always busy filming stunts, or being in the er. you tried not to bug him about it, afraid of seeming clingy and like you wanted to drag him down, which of course you didn't. you just wanted your friend back. It was a thursday evening and you had just gotten back from your big girl office job. ever since you were little you knew you wanted to leave your home town. It just always felt so small and closed off from the rest of the world to you. you wanted to live somewhere more progressive. so you got serious about school and were able to get a stable, good paying job in san diego. you went to your room, changed, then plotted down on your couch with some greasy fast food. hey you were single and lived alone, so you sometimes forgot to get groceries. you turned on the tv and began flipping through channels. the station it landed on was MTV, you were skeptical about leaving it on, knowing that everytime you saw steveo now, it tugged at your heart. You watched him change, for better and for worse. of course he's always been completely insane, but he had a soft side to him. now all you ever see is him intoxicated. you decided to leave it on. "maybe they won't even play jackass" you thought to yourself. the commercials ended and the intro for "MTV cribs" began to play and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. but once the episode started, you were stunned. it was apparently a "jackass exclusive" episode where steveo and all his other cast members were showing their "cribs." you knew you should turn it off, or find something else to watch, but you didn't want too. the tv began to show steveo, wasted as ever. you watched in disappointment as he began showing his disgusting apartment, putting hot sauce in his eye, and breaking stuff. Of course this was normal for him, but seeing him on tv do it, knowing millions of others were watching, made your heart hurt for him. "i guess his dream came true..." you thought to yourself. you've been knowing for a while yours and steveos relationship was basically over, but this was the breaking point for you. you put your food away, shut the tv off, and curled up into bed. just staring at your ceiling remembering all the good times and how they were over.
❥༄ It was a cold autumn day when your boss called you into her office. the leaves were changing, the air became crisp, and your outfits became a lotttt cuter. it was your favorite season so you were in a good mood when you walked into her office. "hey you needed to see me?" you asked while giving her a hug and handing her a coffee. "thanks! and yeah i have great news for you!" you gasped and put your hands over your mouth. "tell me!" she had a huge smile on her face while she spoke " the board is sending you to LA to get more info for our project! they think you're the perfect candidate for the job." of course you were happy hearing this, it meant you got to travel, even if it was for work, and you've never been to LA before. but you were a little shaken at the thought of being in the same city as steve o after all this time. your boss gave you all the information you needed for you trip and sent you back to your cubicle.
❥༄ a week later, and you were on your way to LA. You were driving there alone, insisiting your boss that you were fine. you tuned on the radio and cool by gwen stefani began playing. as you listened to the lyrics, you began wondering if you and steveo would ever have a relationship like that, where you could be happy and proud for eachother for finding another love, but then again, did you even want a relationship with him at all if it wasn't him as 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 partner? you couldn't see your self being in love with anyone else, you've never been in love with anyone else. 2 hours and 30 minutes later, you made it to your hotel. you grabbed your bags from the car, checked in, and settled in your room. once you were done, you noticed the time, 5:00. "most bars have happy hour right now.." you thought to yourself." you've always wanted to be in LA, so you decided to let loose and find a bar.
❥༄ you changed form your juicy tracksuit, put on a cuter outfit, and added some makeup. you began walking around looking for a bar. once you found one, you walked in and sat at the bar "a sex on the beach please" you told the bartender with a smile. he gave you your drink and you sipped it in silence, already regretting coming here. you weren't that social to begin with, and it's not like you knew anyone. you regretted not having your boss come along. all of a sudden, you heard some loud voices walk in. it sounded like a bunch of guys so you just stayed staring ahead. you would drink your cocktail, go home, change, and watch 10 things i hate about you for the millionth time. then, you heard a voice you knew all too well speak up. "2 budweisers bud" just your luck. steveo was 3 feet away from you. you noticed him look at you then look away, then snap his neck and look back. "holy shit y/n" you turned to look at him, and you wish you didn't. this was your first time seeing and hearing him in person and not through a tv and he still looked beautiful as ever "o-oh! hey stevie" you always called him that. everyone else called him steveo and steve but you just started calling him stevie one day and it stuck. he gave you a hug while smiling you returned it, hoping he wouldn't notice how your shoulders tensed or how your heart was daring to jump out your chest. even with some alcohol in your system he still made you incredibly nervous. damn it. he pulled away from the hug but stayed close. "what are you doing here. you're still in san diego right?" you fidgeted with your hands and had a nervous smile on your face as you spoke. "i'm here for work" he nodded "oh right on!" he seemed really happy to see you actually, but a part of you was telling you that it was just an act and he couldn't give 2 shits about what you were up too. i mean how happy could he be if he never bothered to call anymore? you noticed he was kind of staring at you, then he spoke up "you look r-really good" he said shyly with a soft smile, which was rare from him, and it felt so nostalgic to see him like that again. "thanks so do you" you said while playing with your hair. it was a nervous fidget you had. then all of a sudden, a tall man with dark hair and dark sunglasses came up to you both. it none other than the johnny knoxville. "where's my beer o?" he spoke. steveo jumped a little and looked away from you "here man" johnny took the can then turned to face you. "oh sorry am i interrupting something?" before steveo could even say anything though, you spoke up "oh no i was...just about to leave." you got down from the chair and slinged your purse on your shoulder. "bye boys" you said as you walked out. as much as you wanted to stay and talk to steveo while staring into his eyes, you knew he was officially done with you. he was hanging out with the big shots now. including bam margera and tony hawk. he was banging models and getting wasted daily. he was living life like a rockstar, like he always wanted, and you didn't wanna ruin that for him. it always seemed that you and steveo were from completely different worlds, but now it was painfully obvious. and you didn't belong in his, or so you thought.
❥༄ you were a few blocks from the bar when you began to hear someone behind you running and yelling "y/n wait!" you turned around and saw steveo coming towards you, with your phone in his hand. once he caught up to you he handed it to you "you left this back there" you grabbed the phone while shaking your head "gosh not again!" you put the phone in your purse then turned to him "thanks you're a life saver." he laughed at your comment "still a klutz huh?" he said with a playful smirk. you gave him one back. "old habits die hard" he let out a little chuckle, then his expression slightly changed from playful to serious. "speaking of that.. i meant what i said back there. you look good." you stared at him, not really knowing what to say. it seemed like he was holding back. he noticed that you knew this and continued " i mean seeing you was like a breath of fresh air" he said with a slight chuckle. you could tell he was tipsy. he was always sweet when he was tipsy. "your face reminds me of when everything was more...simple." you started to get angry. not necessarily at him but at the whole situation. and him saying that angered you even more. simple? did he think you were just some plain jane who had nothing better to do but hang out with him? "what is that supposed to mean?" you said while crossing your arms. he held his hands up in defense. " i didn't mean anything bad by it! it's just...you remind me of...before you know?" he said nervously. you'll admit, he was being ridiculously cute right now, but your anger was getting the better of you. "oh before you became an overnight celebrity and ditched me for brad pitt and lindsey lohan?" "y/n no please jsut list-" you cut him off. "no steve just stop....just stop." tears began to sting the corners of your eyes. you cursed yourself for always being so emotional. you spoke up, your voice shaky. "i was fine with leaving us and all the good times in the past and letting go, but now here you are pouring salt on all my wounds" steveo was staring at you, his face deathly serious and his eyes wide. "why do you think you have to leave us in the past?" you laughed at this. was he serious? "seriously? i mean come on steve we haven't talked in forever and...you're just...different now" he stared at you, looking genuinely hurt, and you knew he hated it when people called him steve, he told you so back in sophmore year when you guys were on the swings at some random park,
"𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸?"
you snapped out of your memory when steveo began shouting back at you "you think i haven't noticed y/n? i mean fuck, i just got off a bender, and i'm probably gonna go on another one." you stared at him dumbfounded. "that's not my fault steve i-" "yeah it is!" he yelled at you. you blinked and stepped back. "w-what?" he looked away from you and ran a hand through his short hair while looking down at his shoes. "ever since you left to san diego i've been lost man. you stared at him as he continued. " i've always been crazy but when i was with you... i was able to stop and be me. you didn't expect me to do any stunts, you didn't expect money or drugs from me, you just accepted me for me. the first time we hung out was the first time i felt normal, like i didn't have to put up an act so you would stay interested." it's true that you left him first. once you turned 18 you moved to san diego and started looking for jobs within your field. you didn't know how much this affected steveo thought, you didn't know he needed you as much as you needed him. while you were standing there, staring at him, in shock, he got tired of your silence. "man forget it." he waved his hand and began walking away. you snapped out of your trance and began yelling for him "no stevie! come back." he turned around, with cold eyes. you walked up to him and began to speak "i didn't know you felt that way. i didn't know you needed me as much as i needed you..." you let out a sad laugh "as much as i still need you. im sorry" you looked up at him to catch his reaction, but he was already staring at you, and as soon as your eyes locked, it was like something inside of him snapped. he grabbed your face and kissed you, hard. you were frozen for a second, you always wanted this and it was hard to believe that it was happening. but you pushed all those feelings back and melted into the kiss, putting your hands around his neck while his snaked down to your waist. you pulled away first, and smiled at him. he stepped back then spoke "you don't know how long i've wanted to do that" you laughed at his cheesey comment, then slapped his forehead. he grabbed his forehead and groaned "what the hell was that for?" you laughed at him and rubbed the area you slapped, as a sorry. "for not telling me you liked me back all those years ago!" he looked at you with a soft smile. "well let me make it up to you... how about we get lunch tomorrow? or breakfast or dinner whatever's best for you." he said while scratching his neck. you laughed at how nervous he was "how about dinner and a movie...the new star wars is out we can watch that!" he laughed at your excitement "ok geek sounds good" you just laughed it off and smiled at him. you guys were stuck staring at eachother for a minute before you spoke up "walk me to my room?" he grabbed your hand "lead the way babe" you missed that nickname. you giggled as you two began walking away, forever thankful for this evening. it felt you two were back to the basics.
authors note: hope you guys liked this! i know a lot of stuff in here is inaccurate but for the sake of the fic let's pretend everything's ok! also this was inspired by lana del reys unreleased song "back to the basics"
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