#like can Buck really not have a relationship with someone with his genes???? i can’t imagine him being able to but idk

[blairswldorfs]

I cannot imagine a world in which Buck isn’t attached to this baby but I’ve never seen anyone mention Buck having a son so now I’m scared something will happen to him

#gi watches 911 #No one spoil me but I’m scared #Evan Buckley #like can Buck really not have a relationship with someone with his genes???? i can’t imagine him being able to but idk #911 #911 abc #911 fox #tv shows

[fluentmoviequoter]

A Family at Your Side

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x shy!paramedic!fem!Buckley!reader

Summary: You, Evan Buckley's sister, are a paramedic with the 118. When you're called to a fire, it quickly becomes a crime scene when someone opens fire on you. Your boyfriend Tim Bradford and your fire station family have to work together to save you.

Warnings: angst, fluff, injuries (r is shot), depiction of arson/shooting, lots of teasing. [While r is Evan's sister, I don't put anything specific in here past some teasing, so it could be viewed as adoptive or some other relationship dynamic!]

Word Count: 2.6k+ words

A/N: I've only seen a few episodes of 911 (season 1), so I hope my characterization of them isn't completely terrible. I really like this dynamic though; it's so fun and complex!!

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Picture from Pinterest

“There’s no escape,” you whisper under your breath, desperately wishing for some relief.

“Oh, c’mon, we’re not that bad,” Buck replies, knocking his fist against your shoulder. “We’re better than the cop.”

“In every way!” Hen adds, smiling at you. “Why you started dating him is one of the two things I will never understand about you.”

“What’s the other?” you ask.

“How you-“ she turns to point to Buck as she continues, “and him are related. He can’t shut up and you can’t make eye contact.”

“I got all the good genes,” Buck explains, smiling.

“Yet none of the smarts,” Hen argues, pressing her lips together as she tilts her head.

“Or looks,” Nash calls from his place in the kitchen. “Now if you’re done bothering her, can someone set the table?”

You stand to help, and Nash points a spatula at you as he says, “Not you. You do it all the time. Make your brother do something for once.”

“She has no power over me!” Buck yells dramatically. “I have leverage. Like that time she-“

Chimney hits the back of his head, telling him to stop, as your chin drops to your chest. The alarm goes off before you can wonder which embarrassing story he was planning to use, and as you rush to the ambulance with Hen, you’re glad Chimney stopped him. Their attention was bad enough without him divulging your personal information.

✯✯✯✯✯

“This is a suspected arson, meets the MO of a few previous fires. We need that fire out before the police get here so they can get in,” Nash announces.

“Anyone inside?” Hen asks.

As Nash answers, someone screams in pain, and you look at Nash. He hesitates before nodding, and you grab your bag before running into the clear side of the duplex.

“Los Angeles Fire and Rescue,” you call. “Is anyone in here?”

“Yes! I need help!” a man yells from the back of the dwelling.

Rushing through, you radio to the rest of the 118 that you’re looking for an injured resident.

“We can’t get the fire under control,” Buck answers, his voice tight. “You need to get out of there.”

“I see him. Keep trying, Buck. Sir, are you injured?”

“No, I don’t think so,” he answers shakily. “I smelled the smoke and- and I have asthma, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, and I was scared to leave.”

“Okay, take a deep breath, sir. I’m a paramedic, so I’m going to get you out of here and then we’ll make sure your airways are clear. Do you understand?”

He nods but refuses when you gesture for him to stand.

“It’s on fire!” he argues.

“Sir, we have a clear track to the front door, but the fire will spread with the Santa Anas blowing outside, so we need to go now,” you explain.

Something crashes outside, and you pull the man to his feet.

“Get out of there! If I don’t see you in ten seconds, I’m coming in after you,” Buck radios.

“We’re coming, Buck,” you answer, pulling the man along.

More sirens become audible as you reach the door, the fire much closer to the front of the building. Several police cars approach, and you breathe a sigh of relief. The man stops, and you turn toward him quickly.

“Sir, we’re almost there,” you remind him, pointing to the ambulance.

“He’s still out here!”

“Who?” you ask, your voice quieting again as the adrenaline wears off.

“The man who set the fire!”

You freeze, a sudden cold rush contrasting the heat from the fire.

“Where is he?”

“I- I don’t know.”

A shot rings through the air, and you drop to the small porch, pulling the man behind the railing beside you. The fire is moving toward you, but with no idea of where that shot came from, you can’t move and risk your life and this man’s.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Everybody down!” Nash yells, ducking behind the truck.

“7-Adam-19, shots fired at my location. LAFD 118 and LAPD in need of backup, dispatch air support for possible sniper,” Tim calls, kneeling behind his shop before rushing to the fire truck.

“She’s still up there,” Buck calls, squatting behind the ambulance with Hen.

“Who?”

Buck and Nash look at each other and then Tim, and he immediately knows they’re talking about you.

“Backup is on the way, but we can’t do anything yet,” Tim explains.

“Bradford, the fire is spreading, we can’t stop it with this wind!” Nash adds.

“Or a sniper taking shots at us!” Buck yells. He drops his head to his radio to ask, “Sis, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s going on?”

“Bradford and Thorsen are here, they called for backup but we can’t do anything until-“

Another shot cuts him off, and you move back against the railing.

“Talk to me!” Buck yells into his receiver.

“I’m okay, Buck,” you reply quietly. “Our- uh- our guy passed out after working himself up, so…”

“He’s not our primary concern right now,” Buck responds.

“Careful,” you warn, your voice nearly inaudible.

“No, I happen to agree,” Nash adds to the conversation.

Tim pulls Chimney’s radio from his chest to say, “I do too. You take care of you, and we’ll worry about him when we can get up there.”

The radio stays quiet, and Tim looks around the end of the truck. He can’t see you, but knowing you’re out of sight and safe makes him feel better.

“Uh, Tim?” Aaron asks. “Eyes on our shooter.”

Tim turns quickly, looking up. He sees the end of the rifle, and when it lowers suddenly, he doesn’t think before yelling at you.

“Stay down!” he screams.

You drop lower, your face to the concrete as the shooter releases several rounds, making a line of bullet holes across the front of the duplex. The fire is moving slowly, but it’s still closing in on your hiding place.

The cold feeling hasn’t gone away, and as you look at the unconscious man at your side, you can only hope to make it out alive.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Where is your backup?” Buck asks Tim, leaning forward to look past Hen.

“Still a minute out. Aaron and I are going to go through that building, find a way to the roof,” Tim answers.

“Be careful. We all care about the woman stuck back there,” Nash reminds him.

Aaron and Tim nod before moving between the shop and the fire truck, rushing to the main entrance and entering quietly.

“Go left, I’ll go right,” Tim whispers.

As they move up the stairs, Tim hears their backup and the airship approaching. He hopes that the shooter doesn’t do anything stupid when he sees the police and gestures for Aaron to go faster.

“LAPD, put the weapon down!” an officer demands over the speaker of the airship.

“Thorsen, go!” Tim yells, kicking the door open to walk onto the roof.

The man turns the rifle up, shooting toward the helicopter before it moves. Aaron and Tim approach from different sides, and when the gun suddenly drops and the man begins emptying his ammunition toward you, Tim doesn’t hesitate to shoot.

“7-Adam-19, suspect is down,” Aaron radios. “Tim, go get her.”

Nodding, Tim stands, rushing down the stairs and out into the road. The fire has worsened, and the 118 is still in place.

Evan sees Tim and clenches his jaw, stepping toward Tim to yell, “This is your fault! It’s all on you!”

 Tim’s brows furrow, looking to Nash for more information.

“She’s, uh- she’s not responding to the radio calls, and we can’t get up there until we get part of the fire out, enough to get through with our gear,” Nash explains.

“You should have brought enough backup to begin with or gone up there sooner!” Buck continues.

“You think I don’t know that?” Tim snaps. “But she was already stuck when I got here, so work on getting to her and getting her safe, and then you can get mad at me!”

“And if it’s too late?” Buck demands, his chest heaving in anger.

Tim looks away, and Buck moves forward quickly, causing Nash and Chimney to lunge forward and hold him back.

“I’ll kill you if we’re too late!”

“Buck!” Tim yells, walking to him. “I know this is my fault and if she doesn’t make it, her blood is on my hands. I’m sorry, I really am, but there is nothing I can do now except keep people back so you can get this fire out and find out if- and make sure she is okay.”

Buck relaxes slightly, pushing Chimney and Nash off of him.

“Let’s get her out!” Nash calls, directing everyone to their positions.

✯✯✯✯✯

The man beside you groans as you tug him further against the wall. You’re caged in against the fire, and you dropped your radio, watching it burn as you kept your head down.

When water sprays onto your face, a steady stream coming from the street, you force a smile, hoping to get out, get warm, and hug your brother and Tim for as long as you can before they make you shy away from them. You love them for it, you remember, reminding yourself to think happy thoughts.

“Where’s the ambulance?” the man slurs before coughing.

“Just a minute, sir, keep your head down and breathe.”

The fire is driven back by two hoses, and when several feet are clear on the side of the railing, people begin yelling.

“Sis! Can you hear me?” Buck asks loudly, appearing in his turnout gear a moment later.

“Get him to the ambulance,” you reply, standing shakily as he pulls the man over his shoulder.

You walk into the small yard, looking for Tim. The persistent cold feeling is just beginning to concern you, and when you grow dizzy and stop in the yard, you realize that something is wrong. Raising your hands to press against your stomach, you begin to run through a mental list of potential injuries.

“Hey, hey, gorgeous, c’mon, we got to get back,” Tim calls as he jogs to your side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you murmur, ducking away from his hands on your face.

“Good,” Tim replies, laying his hand on your upper back and directing you to the curb.

“You got lucky,” Buck grumbles, joining your other side across from Tim.

“We all did our jobs, Buck, she’s safe, just leave it,” Tim says lowly.

“No thanks to you!” Buck responds, stepping forward.

You recognize the look in his eyes, an anger he seems to reserve for you. Without thinking, you move a hand from your navel and push it against Buck’s chest to stop him. He and Tim look at your bloody hand before yelling your name as you tip back.

Buck catches you, lowering you onto the grass as he rips your shirt open.

“Hen!” he screams, a pained, guttural sound that draws the attention of the entire 118.

Hen sees you on the ground, unconscious between Buck and Tim, and rushes to you, her bag thrown over her shoulder.

“GSW,” she decides quickly, looking at your stomach, a mess of tattered fabric and blood. “Roll her over, carefully.”

Tim keeps his hands on your side, helping Buck tip you onto one side as Hen runs her hand down your spine.

“No exit wound, we need to go. Now.”

Leaning back, Tim gives Buck room to lift you, running to the ambulance as fast as possible.

“Are you coming?” he yells, raising his arms as he looks at Tim.

“Go!” Nash, Chimney, Aaron, and newly arrived Nolan yell.

Tim nods, rushing into the ambulance and sitting as it lurches into motion.

“I didn’t mean it,” Buck says, looking at you while he speaks to Tim. “It’s not your fault, but I can’t- I can’t lose her.”

“You won’t. We won’t,” Tim promises.

Hen works quickly, muttering under her breath about needing your help.

✯✯✯✯✯

When you open your eyes, you first notice the unmistakable feeling of someone looking at you and touching your side, a gentle touch as fingers drag up and down your skin.

“Is he okay?” you ask, blinking against the harsh light above you.

“The man from the duplex?” Buck asks. “Yeah, he’s fine. Had an asthma attack and then a few panic attacks, but he’s good. You- you got shot and didn’t tell anyone.”

Tipping your head down, you’re surprised he’s standing at the end of your bed. This means the fingers on your exposed side belong to…

“Tim,” you whisper, glancing at him.

“You scared us, baby,” he replies softly, spreading his warm hand over your skin.

He smiles when your muscles tense beneath him, but it quickly disappears when you groan in pain.

“I didn’t mean not to tell you,” you say quietly, pinching the blanket between your fingers. “I didn’t know I got shot.”

“That’s kinda- that’s pretty epic, really,” Buck says, laying his hand on your foot. “Makes a good party story.”

“I don’t go to parties,” you grumble.

“I mean for me,” he replies happily.

“Are you two fighting?” you ask, looking between them.

“No,” they answer together, both squeezing you reassuringly.

“We were scared and upset, didn’t have anywhere else to take it out,” Buck explains with a shrug. “He’s just lucky you stopped me from hitting him. I would’ve removed him from active duty for six weeks minimum.”

“You wish,” Tim scoffs.

“Stop,” you say, chuckling when they look shocked at your bold demand. “Please.”

“You were in surgery for a long time,” Tim tells you. “How’s your pain?”

“It’s fine, manageable. I mean, I can feel it now, but it’s not too bad.”

You glance down, your brows furrowing as you realize why you could feel Tim’s skin directly on yours.

“Wondering where your hospital gown is?” Tim asks, a smile you know all too well on his face. “I put in a special request.”

“Gross. That’s my sister,” Buck interjects. When you look at him with wide eyes, he sighs and fills you in: “They couldn’t get to your stomach well enough with one on. If you want to cover up, we’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”

“It’s okay,” you reply, gently tugging the band of your sports bra down.

“More than okay,” Tim says, quiet enough that Buck can’t hear.

You look away quickly, and Buck makes a ‘tsk’ sound.

“The shooter is in custody,” Tim says, giving you a break from his ‘abuse.’

“Will I have to testify or anything?” you whisper.

“No,” Tim and Buck answer together.

Buck pulls his phone from his pocket, nodding before shaking your ankle, his hand still resting on you.

“I have to go, we’ve got a call, but when we’re done, everyone wants to come by,” he says.

You nod. “Be careful. I love you.”

“Love you, sis!”

Looking at Tim’s chest rather than his face, he takes the chance to tease you. “Maybe you should get a shirt before your team gets here.”

“Get out,” you mumble. “Or give me yours.”

“Whoa! You get shot once and become a whole new person.”

“Wasn’t worth it.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Tim replies, taking your hand. “And I’m sorry that I couldn’t do anything to keep it from happening.”

“’S not your fault.”

Turning your attention back to the blanket, Tim asks, “You get this shy with your patients?”

“No. But they’re not as pushy.”

“Hey,” Tim calls, using his hand to gently turn your chin toward him. “I love you. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I love you, too. Thanks for being here through all of it.”

“Try to get rid of me.”

“I do. You never listen.”

Tim laughs, loud and happy, and you smile, turning your face into his arm where it holds your hand, glad he’s at your side, and you have a whole team, a family, to be with you through everything.

#tim bradford x reader #shy!reader #tim bradford fluff #tim bradford the rookie #tim bradford imagine #tim bradford #evan buckley #the rookie #911 abc #team shy! #fem!reader #requests

[missymurphy1985]

Friends with Added Benefits

Part one of ?

Warnings - smut / daddy kink / breeding kink

You and Cillian had been working together on Peaky Blinders since the beginning- it had become a FWB situation at the end of Series 4 after a drunken kiss at the wrap party. Both of you had kept it completely secret, hooking up solely while you were filming series 5 and living out your own lives the rest of the year, but what happens when things take an unexpected turn as series 6 begins filming?

A/N - Cillian is single, and has no children. Reader is in her early 30s, and plays Tommy Shelby's wife.

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby

You sat on the floor of the bathroom and took a deep breath. Now or never y/n... A sudden voice jolted you from your thoughts.

"Y/n, you in there?" What the fuck was he doing here? How did he get into your apartment?

"Sorry, yeah.. I'll be out in a minute..." You flushed the toilet and quickly hurried out of the bathroom.

Cillian greeted you with a warm smile, sat on your sofa with the TV remote in his hand already flicking through the channels.

"You left the door unlocked - came in to make sure you were okay, you seemed a bit off onset today?" He patted the sofa next to him for you to sit down.

"Sorry... Just a bit tired I guess, only been back a day and I'm done already!" He lifted an arm to pull you into and you happily accepted the invitation.

"So series 6 then.. the last one," you sighed, curling your legs over his.

"Yep. Only gotta put up with me for another 16 weeks and you're free to do as you please. Or who you please at least," he kissed the top of your head and chuckled, you feigned your own chuckle in response. You knew this was just a 'filming only hook up', but you couldn't help but feel a bit sad. You'd looked forward to Peaky restarting again the second each series had finished. You knew though, that there was no tying Cillian Murphy down - other women had tried, but he was a happy, carefree bachelor. You'll make the most of the next 16 weeks together and move on.

Before long his fingers made their way over your hips, circling slowly as they crawled over your stomach.

"Does our agreement still stand or do I need to stop?" He whispered, sending a shiver down your spine.. that fucking accent...

"I'm single again, if that's what you're asking me.."

"Again?"

"I was seeing someone.. I ended it a month ago." He pulled back slightly.

"Sorry y/n.. were you with him long?"

"Just a few months, nothing serious it was just a casual type thing. He decided he couldn't compete with Thomas Shelby."

"You told him about us?!"

"No, the rumours have been flying for YEARS Cillian! He wouldn't believe me when I told him it wasn't true.."

"That's because it is true, and you're a terrible liar!" He smirked, before pushing your body down on the sofa, covering it with his own.

"He'd certainly have his work cut out for him wouldn't he?" You smirked back. "You gonna show me what I've been missing Mr Murphy?"

"I absolutely am Miss y/l/n... But let me shower first? I'm still wearing the makeup from earlier and it's pissing me off!" He kissed you lightly on the nose before grabbing one of your towels out the cupboard and heading into the bathroom.

He came out 10 minutes later, towel wrapped round his waist and stood next to the sofa, brow furrowed.

"What's this for y/n?" You looked up and your heart sank. In his hand was the pregnancy test box you'd hidden in your cabinet - clearly not hidden too well.

"Well it isn't for baking cakes Cill..."

"Are you pregnant?"

"I don't know yet, I haven't taken one.."

"Well what are you waiting for? Come on." He took your hand and handed you one of the tests. "Go do it. Now." You couldn't help but laugh at his insistence and went to pee on the stick.

Coming back out with the test in your hand two minutes later, you held it up to show him, tears in your eyes as your chin wobbled. He was pulling his jeans back on as he took the test from you.

"Okay well now I'm confused? It's negative - why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying, I'm fine.." you choked, wiping your eyes on your sleeve.

"Come on, y/n... What's wrong?" He pulled you over to the sofa and sat you down, squeezing your hands, worry written all over his face.

"You wouldn't understand Cillian, just leave it okay?"

"Did you want it to be positive?" You looked into his eyes and burst into tears, nodding. "You wanted his baby?"

"It wasn't that.. Cillian I'm 32 years old. Kinda thought I'd be married with a kid or two by now you know? I'm sorry okay, I'm just being stupid..."

"What's stupid about wanting children of your own?"

"Because I'm never going to have it am I?"

"Says who?" You took a deep breath.

"Look it's crazy okay, I'm just hormonal and crazy..."

"Okay you're not crazy y/n. Pretty sure it's normal to want children and marriage, I'm just an oddball!" He laughed. He'd made no secret of the fact he had no paternal instincts at all.

"Thing is... I don't want marriage. Not even a relationship.. just a baby. Still think I'm normal?"

"You might struggle there y/n.. I don't need to have 'the talk' with you, do I?" He smirked.

"No Cillian I'm well aware.. I was thinking of adoption maybe, or a sperm donor?"

"Admirable for the adoption route. Terrifying for the other one, you could end up with anything..."

"True. Kinda leaning more towards all of that though.. the feeling of carrying my own baby is just.. it's exciting I guess. I'm freaking you out, aren't I?"

"Strangely.. no. In fact, I have an idea."

"What?"

"You want a baby, but not a father, right?"

"Right."

"The dad doesn't need to be involved at all, ever, yeah?"

"Nope, never. I don't need help emotionally, financially, nothing."

"Well let's make a baby then." Your neck nearly snapped with the force you looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?!"

"I have exactly what you're looking for, right? I have decent genes, copious amounts of sperm as you know very well," he smirked. You weren't laughing though.

"You're insane, you can't possibly think this is a good idea?"

"Why not? You've made it clear that you're not interested in a relationship - that's one of my boxes ticked. I get to have sex with you without a condom - second box ticked. I get to fuck a pregnant woman - third box ticked. Kinda been a fantasy for a while..." You raised an eyebrow at his last admission.

"Do we have a daddy kink, Cillian?"

"Yeah, without the desire to actually be a Daddy. Just the thought of you.. swollen belly.. breasts overflowing... Fuck y/n you'd look sexy as hell..." He made his way over to you, the bulge in his jeans evidence of his arousal at the thought of you being pregnant.

"And you'd sign over all parental rights to me?"

"Just tell me where to sign..." His hands cupped your face gently as he pushed his body against yours, backing you up towards your bedroom.

"No weirdness... No one would know the baby was yours?"

"No one..." He pulled at your t shirt, lifting it over your head before crashing his lips against yours, both of you falling onto the bed together as he pushed his erection against your core hard. Unhooking your bra and throwing it across the room, his lips found your nipple, sucking and nibbling on it as he pulled your jeans and underwear down your legs.

"Fuck.. Cillian.. you need to be sure about this..."

"Never been more sure of anything y/n.. I'm gonna put a baby in you... Let me put a baby in you..."

You gave in when his fingers entered you, pulling forward finding that one spot inside that only he could find. Your hips bucked against his hand as your eyes closed, mouth open gasping his name.

"Fuck I've missed this... Don't stop..." His lips were on your neck, leaving marks that your makeup artist wouldn't thank you for tomorrow but you didn't care in the slightest, the need in you too much.

"I need to feel you on me y/n... Come for me girl..." his fingers pulled harder and faster, sending you over the edge while his voice whispered in your ear. Within seconds of your orgasm he pushed his length inside you with a hard groan, lifting your leg over his elbow. Your nails digging into his shoulders as he thrust his hips, hitting that sensitive spot over and over again.

"Yes... Fuck yes baby fill me up..."

"You want this huh? Fuck you feel good bareback... I can feel all of you..."

"You feel so good Cillian... Filling me up... So fucking deep..."

"Fuck.. I'm gonna come... Jesus y/n..." The sensations too much, he spilled into you, you could feel ropes of his cum deep inside as your walls milked him for all he had. He fell onto your chest, pushing himself as deep inside as he could.

"I'm not letting any of this fall out... Need it to take... Stay on your back." You wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling him softening inside you.

"You really want to do this, don't you?"

"If it makes you happy, yes. You want a baby, I want to give you a baby. You don't want a father, I don't want to be one. I see no problem with any of this."

"And if the baby looks like you?"

"Crazy coincidence."

"If you change your mind?"

"About what? Being involved? I won't, trust me."

"Reckon we've made a baby tonight?"

"We may well have done. I still get to fuck you if we have, though, right?"

"Damn right you do - you're giving me a baby, least I can do is give you a pregnancy fuck to say thank you," you laughed as he pulled out slowly, kissing your lips then down to your belly.

"You better hurry up in there, I've got a fantasy to cash in on..." You batted him away laughing as he moved over to collect his clothes. He never stayed overnight, it would raise too much suspicion. He winked at you as you lay on the bed, and headed out the door smiling.

This might just work out, you smiled, curling under the sheets and drifting off, dreaming of your blue eyed baby.

#cillian fanfic #cillian smut #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian x pregnant reader

[favefandomimagines]

Enigma (b.b.)

Summary: you’re Bucky’s enigma. and he finally finds out why

AN: i love bucky barnes ALSO who says i can’t write about the multiverse?? there are no rules anymore! 

i’m also thinking about making this a little ongoing ‘series’ kind of like the tom holland one i’m doing. same characters, same characters plots, just different plots for each part, if that makes sense. 

taglist: @amourtentiaa

You and James Buchanan Barnes had a complex relationship. And that was putting it lightly. Ever since you joined the team, Bucky had some sort of hesitation towards you. You didn’t know why, you were always nice to him but he just shrugged you off. 

You tried not to take it personally but it was hard when he seemed to be the only person who didn’t like you. The reason he was so standoffish was because you were an enigma to him. You were something he hadn’t really seen before. 

Mainly due to the fact that you weren’t given your powers in an unfortunate circumstance. No one really knew how you got them, it was like you were just born with the power to control the cosmos or anything with cosmic energy. Which was something unheard of. He didn’t understand how someone could just be born with powers. And what he didn’t understand, he was scared of. 

But his constant distaste towards you began to deter you. You were beginning to want nothing to do with him and he could sense that. You would stop greeting him in the kitchen every morning. You’d stop offering to go on jogs with him and you barely spared him a second glance. 

Add that to the list of the things Bucky didn’t understand about you. 

__

You woke up one morning feeling off. Something seemed wrong but you couldn't quite figure out what it was. Pins and needles were creeping up your spine and into your neck and your fingers kept twitching. 

You've been able to safely control your powers for some time now so you didn’t know why you felt as if you couldn’t. 

Exiting your bedroom, you were too busy shaking your hands out to rid yourself of the tingling feeling, you weren’t watching where you were going. 

You ran right into someone and looked up slightly, seeing Bucky  standing before you. “Oh, sorry.” You said quietly, moving around him. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked, grabbing your elbow gently. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” You lied. 

Bucky knew something was off. Your usual sunny disposition was replaced with a solemn attitude. Which was very rare for you. But you weren't going to tell him what was wrong and he didn’t blame you for that. 

He watched you walk away, walking like you were at a constant level of pain or discomfort. He walked down the hall towards Steve’s room, seeing that the door was open and invited himself in. 

“Hey, something’s going on with Y/N.” Bucky announced. “What do you mean?” Steve asked. “I ran into her in the hall and all she did was say sorry. No conversation, no attempt at telling me a joke.” Bucky explained. “Well, she did say she was going to give up on making you like her. Maybe that’s it.” Steve replied. “This was different. She looked in pain.” Bucky rebutted. 

“I’m sure she’s fine, Buck.” Steve said. The rest of your day seemed to go on like normal, minus the dull ache in your body. You did some reading, helped Bruce in the lab like you always did. Until Steve scheduled you for training. 

The thing about Steve, was that he wanted  everyone to be in fighting shape. So, he’d schedule everyone for training sessions designed to focus on their strengths. On any other day, you wouldn’t complain, but today was not your day. 

You reluctantly walked into the training room, finding both Steve and Bucky present. “Alright, Y/N, you ready?” Steve asked. “Want the truth or just what you want to hear?” You questioned. “I know these aren’t everyone’s favorite thing to do but they’ll make you stronger which makes us stronger as a team.” Steve explained. 

“Now, your powers are very multipurpose. So, I just want to start on the cosmic defense, okay?” He added. “Is that why Barnes is here with a gun?” You asked. “He’s just here to help.” Steve said. “Yeah right.” You muttered. 

The training session began and everything was going okay. You harnessed the right amount of cosmic energy to block Bucky’s bullets and Steve’s shield. 

But soon, it became too much too fast. You could practically hear your heart beating in your ears and the pins and needles sensation became a million times worse. You couldn’t focus due to the pounding in your head. 

You stopped defending yourself as you gripped your head out of pain. You could feel the meteor showers, the solar flares, everything the pain was causing. You were reducing the objects in the training room down to the atom. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Steve asked, him and Bucky approaching you. “It hurts. It hurts so bad.” you cried. “I told you there was something wrong.” Bucky told his friend. 

He moved to pick you up and rush to get you help wherever he could find it. 

“Banner, can you help her?” Bucky questioned, entering the lab. You had curled yourself into Bucky, trying to relieve some of your pain. 

“What happened to her?” Bruce asked. “I don’t know. We were just training and her powers went out of control. But something was wrong this morning.” Bucky explained, setting you down on the table. “That explains the cosmic phenomenon no one can explain. Meteor showers, solar flares. NASA reported three cosmic storms in the past five minutes.” Bruce explained. “I need to sedate her before it gets worse.” He added. Bruce stuck a needle in your arm and you soon visibly relaxed. 

“Do any of us really know anything about her powers?” He questioned. “You don’t, but I do.” Tony announced, standing in the doorway. 

“There was no crazy experimentation, no cosmic event that gave them to her. She was simply born with them, because her father had powers too,” Tony started. “It’s called the X gene. A genetic mutation that gives the person different and unique abilities. They were all wiped out years ago by the US government. She’s the last one and her father came to me to keep her safe.” He added. “She’s a mutant?” Bruce asked.

“Yes, she is. And no one knew until now. The thing about the X gene, is that it makes it harder to learn control. The more the body changes the more the mutation changes. I thought she had a handle on her powers but I guess not.” Tony explained. “Will she be okay?” Bucky asked. “She just needs to sleep it off.” Tony said. “Who was her father?” Bruce asked. “His name was Erik. That’s all you need to know.” Tony answered before leaving the room. 

You were unconscious for hours. The much needed sleep completely calming your powers down. When you awoke, you were back in your bed and it was already dark outside. You looked over and saw that Bucky was asleep in the blue chair you had sat in the corner. 

“Bucky,” You spoke gently. The man stirred slightly before coming to. Bucky noticed you were awake and moved to sit on the edge of your bed. “Are you okay?” He asked. “Wasn’t sure you cared.” You answered, sitting up straighter. 

“Believe it or not, I do care. I’ve been this way towards you  because how you make me feel scares the hell out of me. I call you an enigma. Because you’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. And that’s before I knew you were a mutant.” Bucky said. 

You looked up at him at the sound of the ‘M’ word, not remembering having told him of your mutation. 

“Did Tony tell you?” You asked. “Yeah. Told me and Banner.” He said. “Now you know. The crazy genetic mutation that made me the  last of the mutants. What made me feel alone once again.” You laugh bitterly. 

“You’re not alone, Y/N. As long as you’re here, you’ll never be alone.” Bucky told you. “How can you promise me that?” You asked. “Because I’m going to try like hell to make sure you never feel that way again.” He answered. 

You gave Bucky a look of disbelief at his words. “You really do care don’t you?��� You asked quietly. “It’s been really hard not too, doll.” He told you. 

You gave him a warm smile, one that Bucky had never seen you use towards him. “Who was your father? Do you know?” He questioned. “All I know is the name they gave him. Magneto.” You answered.

“But he’s gone now. I don’t know what happened to him or the rest of the mutants, but I’ve never met him.” You added. “I’m sure he’d be proud of you.” Bucky said. 

You didn’t believe him though. You don’t think your father would be proud. How could he be proud of the daughter he left behind? 

“I know I’m proud of you.” Bucky added. That’s all you needed. You didn’t need your absentee father’s approval. If you had Bucky, that was enough.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader #marvel imagine #tony stark #erik lehnsherr #magneto #xmen #imagine #imagines

[himbowelsh]

(Sorry if you're not comfortable with this I'm fairly new to the fandom so pls ignore if you are) Headcanons that include the BoB guys falling in love, mannerisms and speech and such?

Richard Winters

keeps it to himself.  when dick is falling in love, neither god nor man would be able to tell, he plays his cards that close to the chest.

(or course, lewis nixon is neither god nor man, just somewhere in between. he figures it out in a second, and teases dick mercilessly.)

lots of lingering stares, gentle half-smiles, more patience than he would  ---  or possibly should  ---  have.  dick falling in love gradually becomes more and more tolerant of things he would disapprove of in anyone else.

the sort of person who just...  becomes so unbearably fond of someone that their flaws seem insignificant.  there’s nothing he can’t forgive, nothing they can’t work past together.  he loves everything about them, even their worst parts, at least a little bit.

basically he’s just normal dick, nothing has changed, except...  he’s a softer version of dick.  soft dick all over the place.

Lewis Nixon

he’s...  not very subtle about it, but in a very nix way.

his flirting is obvious.  like, it’s obvious to anyone looking in his direction.  he’s not subtle about it; and while he’s capable of being smooth, he’s also kind of earnest, devoting so much of his attention to his person of interest that he’s able to ignore everything else.

such as responsibilities.  when he’s supposed to be somewhere, and he’s not there, 100% chance nix is with his crush.  when he’s in love with someone, he just wants to be around them as long as they’ll tolerate him; he practically becomes their sardonic shadow.

lots of gifts.  like, things just appear in the person’s rooms, complete with a wry little note from nix.  he never makes a big deal out of it, but he compulsively buys his love interest things when the opportunity arises.

allows himself unexpected moments of sincerity  ---   like a mask slipping for just a moment, when his guards are all down and he’s able to be honest with the one person in the world he’s actually brave enough to reveal himself to.  

when nix loves someone, he slowly allows them to see the messiest parts of him  ---  because he knows he can’t hide them forever, and it’s easier for them to know from the get-out than to stop loving him down the line.

Carwood Lipton

so chill about it, you honestly wouldn’t be able to tell.

lip isn’t even a super private person like dick, he’s just...  able to fuction normally, even when his heart is doing a complete 360-degree flip over someone.  he treats them the same way he always has, doesn’t fawn over them of go out of his way...  he’s just regular old lip.

except for the lingering stares, and the fond smiles he doesn’t bother to suppress.  except for how he’s always got an eye on them, just...  making sure they’re alright whenever he’s around, in case they need something.  except for the fact that if they do need something, he’ll go out of his way  ---  maybe to an unreasonable degree  ---  to get it.  he’ll drive three towns over just to get them a specific ice cream brand they’re craving.

which is out of character for lip, but he’ll do it, because it’s them.  he’d go out of his way for any one of his friends, but wouldn’t move mountains except for this one person.  they’re special to him.  somehow, without him even realizing it, they mean everything to him.

Ron Speirs

well, he didn’t mean to catch these feelings, but now that they’re here he’s just going to have to murder everyone who’s ever looked at his partner wrong

no.  okay, ron...  ron does get a little overprotective at times.  he’s good at being in love, but falling in love is unpredictable.  it’s unsteady, it’s uncertain, anything could happen  ---  his protective instincts are triggered. so when he finds himself falling for someone, he keeps a constant eye on them.   they don’t ever need to worry as long as he’s around; they don’t need to be afraid of anything.  honestly, it can get a little too intense, if he lets it.

if ron recognizes he’s being too overbearing, he’ll back off.  pining from afar is also something he’s surprisingly good at.  gentle stares from across the room, half-smiles at things they say, wry comments meant for their ears alone.  if he can be comfortable in silence alongside them, it’s a big thing for him.

love letters.  this is a big thing.  ron’s not always great at expressing his feelings verbally, so he finds a real release through writing.  this really helps his love interest understand where he’s coming from, and get to know his heart clearly.  when ron bares his soul in prose, it’s difficult not to fall in love with him.

Harry Welsh

eager beaver.  like, he’ll bounce at the chance to do anything for them at any time.  oh, that bag looks heavy, he can get that!  he’s just gonna...  casually hold this door open, you know, like a gentleman.  paying for their own drinks?  oh no, don’t worry, he’s got it covered.

the worst part is, he thinks he’s slick.

can actually be the softest man in the world when he’s in love; he’ll absolutely dote on a partner.  

some of the guys here are actual disasters, they don’t know how to even admit it to themselves  ---  not harry.  when harry’s in love, the whole world gets to know it.  he’ll talk about how great they are to anyone who’ll listen; and if he and his partner are on the same page, he’ll tell them he loves them every chance he gets.  there’s never any question to how harry’s feeling, because he says it.

heart eyes for his partner at any and all times, even when they’re doing something as mundane as reading a book.

Buck Compton

he just glows whenever he’s around them.  it’s not something buck can help.  it’s like...  being in his partner’s presence gives him more energy, more vitality, the drive to do and be more.  he’s fueled by their attention and the desire to impress, to be worthy of them.

not reticent about his feelings.   he’ll freely admit them, but it won’t be, “yeah, i love them”; buck will go on about how much he admires them, talking people’s ears off about their abilities and virtues.  if buck falls in love with someone, he already holds them in the highest esteem, and honestly wants to be able to blab about how great they are.

people don’t give him credit for how emotional he can be; but once he’s fallen for someone, he opens up to them more and more.  it’s a challenge to reveal his vulnerabilities without being afraid, but as he grows to love them more, he trusts them too.

George Luz

if possible, he becomes even more luz-ish than normal.  like...  his regular personality is turned up to eleven.  he craves his love interests attention like a drowning man craves air, and he goes out of his way to seek it out.

lots of flirting, lots of teasing.   if they’re around, most of his jokes are directed towards them, like it’s a battle just to make them laugh.  it’s painfully obvious where his attention is.

yeah, he’s joking around a lot, and maybe flirting a bit too much to be casual, but...  he’s also looking out for them.  if they need help with something, he jumps at the chance to do it.  any favor, any time, george is ready.

he also likes to teach them things.  something as simple as a card game, or how to fix a broken sink  ---  it gives him the chance to show off his skills a little, try to impress them, prove he knows what the hell he’s talking about...  and just to be around them.  he eats up every second he gets to spend with them.

sometimes he gets flustered.  if they’re not in a relationship yet, and his love interest were to question him about his feelings, he wouldn’t know what to say; he’d run a hand through his already-messy hair, chuckling while averting his eyes, and try to brush the question off with a charming deflection.  it wouldn’t work.  he’s lots of things, but not subtle.

Joe Toye

joe toye is so capable of being soft around the people he loves that it’s frankly obscene.

he definitely becomes more protective of them.  like...  love is already an uncertain thing, he doesn’t want to lose it when they’ve barely just begun...  and he’s never forgive himself if something bad happened to them.  Protective Toye Mode is in full gear.

has infinitely more patience, and is able to let his guards down around them more.  he jokes around more, in his understated way.  he watches them when they’re too busy with work to look up, a proud smile on his face.  sometimes he can’t resist reaching out and touching them, surprising even himself.

he’s so soft, guys.  he just wants to be around them and take care of them  ---  honestly, he’d do anything for them if they let him.

Eugene Roe

honestly, he’s not sure where to start.

it doesn’t blindside him.  getting close to people doesn’t come easily to gene; it’s a slow process, and he’s aware ever step of the way that this person is steadily growing in importance to him. it takes him a little while to recognize it as love, but once he gets there...  yeah.

he’s cautious about it  ---  tries as hard as he can not to let it show.   being in love is kind of scary for him, actually.  he’d really need encouragement from the other person, and the feel comfortable around them.   he’d need to see there’s interest there, otherwise he might actually talk himself out of his own feelings.   (jesus christ, gene, why are you like this)

quietly so proud of them, and quick to praise.  his sweet little smile makes his love interest feel warm all over, and when his eyes go soft and unbearably fond like that...

gene’s love is a quiet thing, but it blossoms more every day.   it needs sunlight, nourishment, and kindness to grow.

Bill Guarnere

literally his partner’s hype man.  they are amazing and he wants the world to know it.

like, bill in love isn’t that different from regular bill, but he gets invested.  he becomes ride-or-die.  would murder someone for his partner without question and bury the body together as a sign of their love.

definitely a show-off.  yeah, his partner’s incredible, but he wants them to think he’s just as cool.  bill might get a bit more reckless in pursuit of their attention, push his own limits (and the limits of common sense) a bit more.  his love interest shouldn’t let him go too crazy, because he might end up losing another leg.  

he may still be regular ol’ guarnere, but wild bill ain’t cooking a four-course authentic italian dinner for just anybody.  bill’s romantic side starts coming out in spades.  he feels more compelled to take care of them, do stuff for them.  it gives him a sense of usefulness; he loves feeling needed by them.

Babe Heffron

cheesy pickup lines x1000.  the worst part is, he thinks they’re actually good.

babe’s actually functional when he’s falling in love with someone.  honestly, he enjoys the feeling.  falling in love’s a beautiful thing!  almost as beautiful as the person he loves!  let’s enjoy it while it lasts.

he’s not shy about flirting with them, but can actually act like a normal person, too.  he doesn’t get all tongue-tied and stuttery; he just loves talking to them, having conversations and spending time with them and sharing his own interests while learning their own.  eats up every bit of attention they give him.

lowkey wants to do so many things with them, but plays it cool.   invites them places, like out dancing, to his favorite restaurants, anywhere they might have a good time.  by sharing these memories with them, babe feels like he’s sharing parts of himself, too...  and god, it sure is fun to be in love.

Joseph Liebgott

what are these feelings and who put them there without his permission

lowkey, he’d choke on the love at first.  probably think it was indigestion or something, hope he’d get over it...  but the feeling would only grow, and slowly joe realizes he’s in over his head.  there’s no way out.  somehow, he’s fallen in love, and he wasn’t prepared damn it.

plays it cool.   he’s not in any hurry to admit his feelings; he knows, and that’s what matters most.  he’s not gonna confess to anything until he thinks there’s a strong chance they’ll reciprocate, so he just...  hangs out for a while.

somehow, when his love interest needs something, he’s there.  it’s like joe’s got a spidey sense for when they’re in trouble  ---  even if they just need help opening a damn jar of pickles  ---  because he’s at their side, ready to talk or fight, whatever’s needed.

doesn’t snap around them as much.  actually, he has moments when he’s downright...  soft.  it’s like all his harsh edges are being sanded down; he even lets his guards down sometimes and reveals flashes of emotional vulnerability, which he wouldn’t do for just anyone.  joe liebgott being soft  (when no one’s mortally injured)  is the #1 indication he’s caught the lovebug.

David Webster

he’s not...  unbearable about it.   it’s kind of cute, in a “romeo pining for juliet from the shadows outside her window” sort of way.

webster is very quiet about falling in love.  he...  watches a lot, just observing whenever he has the pleasure of being around them.  he notices all their habits, all their quirks, and can’t help finding them all endearing.  even if it’s habits he usually hates, like talking while chewing or mimicking someone badly...  he gets a little love-blind for a while.

won’t talk about his feelings to anyone, but will write them all down.  his journal reads like he’s a 7th grade girl with a crush.  sometimes he tries to get really poetic, and express the true nuance of his soul being drawn towards a kindred spirit, but he can’t formulate his thoughts as well in the moment.

they become his muse, at least; he can write better when thinking of them, and might even be bold enough to share some of his writing, just to see their reactions.

not about to write love poems himself, but he knows a few beautiful ones offhand, and will share them with his love interest  ---  a subtle way of confessing his feelings to them through proxy, and sharing something special between each other.

Floyd Talbert

tab’s flirty by nature, but when he falls in love with someone...  all that confidence slowly melts away.   he no longer has any desire to present a facade to them, because he’s not trying to woo anymore, he’s trying to love.

he becomes more straightforward and serious around them.  he’s still his normal self, but there’s an earnest sincerity that wasn’t there before.  he’s not making any attempts to impress them.  he is how he is, after all; if he loves them for themselves, they’ll have to love him the same way.

(he can’t breathe a genuine sigh of relief until he’s got affirmation that they do.)

no more super fun, casual dates.  now tab wants to go for long nature walks and talk about their emotions.   he wants to learn more about his partner, to see the parts of them they’re scared to reveal.   nature is also something important to him, and he wants to share that part with them.

floyd in love becomes...  a more genuine version of himself.

Donald Malarkey

a really nice guy, and not in a gross way.

don’s just...  a nice guy in general, but when he’s falling in love, he’s at peak sweetness.  he gets them gifts just for the fun of it, tries to write songs for them  (well, he does his best), and comes up with dates centered around all the things they love to do.  he’s uber considerate, and really sweet about it.

don’s honest with himself about his feelings, and he’s willing to be honest with anyone else as well.  far as he’s concerned, being in love isn’t anything to be ashamed of, especially not with someone so amazing.

the corny jokes will probably be turned up to the max, though, and they’ll be a lot of playful flirting just to see his partner’s reaction.  don dotes on them, but most importantly, he knows how to have fun when it comes to love.

Skip Muck

kind of a tease, but in the best way.  skip isn’t great at flirting when he really means it; there’s a difference between batting his eyes at someone across a dance hall and falling in love, and skip in love feels like he’s in over his head.

he’ll joke around with them a lot, but also kind of fall into a big-brother role  ---  looking out for them, helping them, showing them how to do things if they’ll let him.  

he feels comfortable acting this way, like he’s significant to them.   even if they don’t feel the same way, he enjoys having their attention on him for the moment, and cultivates it.

will definitely have cracks in his armor.  honestly, when he falls in love, he’s not that subtle about it.  suddenly, he can no longer make dirty jokes around them; he can’t pretend to flirt without blushing and tripping over his words; he catches himself watching them for too long, and idly humming love songs after they’ve just left the room.

god, he’s a wreck.   he feels like an idiot around them, and doesn’t know how to deal with it...  so eventually he’s just going to have to come right out and say it.

#Anonymous #headcanons #band of brothers #i'd put this under a cut but apparently tumblr doesnt ALLOW THAT ANYMORE

[softbuckismykink]

Like a Stranger (Finally Found)

X-posted on AO3

Summary:

Evan Buckley never wanted to be a guide. Opening up empathically fucks you up. It happened to his Dad, it happened to Maddie’s ex. That’s why he chose to be numb. And he’s doing well up until for some reason their Captain decided they need another member of the team. Something is wrong with that Diaz guy. Buck is not sure what but the moment he laid eyes on the guy, there a strange feeling blooming in his chest. It must be loathing he decided. Because anything else would mean his empathic suppressants are failing and he can’t have that.

Eddie Diaz figured if throwing himself in a literal war didn’t activate his sentinel genes then there’s a high chance that it will never happen and he made peace with that fact. That’s why he moved to LA with his kid, less people knowing he’s that Diaz. The one who did not live up to the family legacy. Everything is going so well until he joined 118 and met Buck, the cute young firefighter who without a doubt hates his guts, which is really annoying Eddie because he can’t seem to find it in him to hate the guy back because every time Eddie looks at him he can’t shake this feeling that he finally found home.

Notes: Okay before you start reading please be warned that I'm a slow writer with so read at your own risk. I might update this tomorrow or it might take me a while to do it. Also this is not the fic that I'm supposed to post today but I'm not done with my firstson!Buck AU yet so here's another fic instead.

Chapter 1: What is this Feeling?

“I looked at him like a stranger, someone I’d never seen before, and he looked at me like I’d been lost to him for a thousand years and finally found.”

― Emme Rollins

*****

Evan Buckley never wanted to be a guide. Because in his experience nothing ever good happens to guides. Opening up empathically fucks you up. It happened to his Dad, it happened to Maddie’s ex, Doug. Guides equals crazy as far as Buck was concerned.

His dad was a good father up until Buck was ten and his father came online after meeting his Sentinel. After that the guide center had his father sequestered in the facility for months. And when he finally was allowed to get out six months later it was to serve his high school sweetheart and wife of eighteen years divorce papers to sign.

Doug Kendall on the hand seemed like a nice guy, at first. Doctor, rich but unassuming. Then he’ll start to open his mouth and you’d know something’s not right with the guy. Buck met Doug well Doug was already an online guide so he’s pretty much already a douchebag when he met him, and maybe that’s just Doug being Doug but Buck can’t help but think Doug is the way he is because guide instincts fucked him up.

Buck was thirteen when he started feeling emotions that he knew are not his own. He’s feeling so much anger at being betrayed, emotions that he suspected came from his mother, because that was after his dad served her the divorced papers.  Buck was afraid of being taken away from his family, from his mother and sister Maddie; like what happened to his dad. That’s why he hid. He pretended not to feel other people’s emotions even if it’s suffocating him.  

Buck decided he won’t end up like Doug or his Dad. So Buck played dumb for the sentinel and guide pair that evaluated him in senior year in high school.  It was a standard screening interview that all seniors went through to determine whether they have either a sentinel or guide traits. Fortunately, he was able to fool them. The Sentinel and Guide Center were looking for potential sentinels/guides not completely online ones. Buck had developed a fool proof idiot façade to hide the fact that he’s an online guide. Back then there’s no DNA testing for it, since scientists have yet to isolate the SgA series gene, so it’s easier to skate by.  

By the time they had a more sophisticated way of screening for sentinel and guide genes, Buck managed to escape to South America to avoid detection. There he was introduced to a more effective way of hiding his guide nature: suppressant drugs, specifically, Emphazepam, or as the locals call it “Amansalocos” literally means “to tame the craziness” because that’s what guide instincts are, a bunch of crazy fucked up compulsions.

When Buck tried amansalocos, he felt absolute relief. Like he got so used to the noise that when it suddenly stop he felt overwhelmingly light. Gone were the suffocating feelings that bombarded him constantly. So Buck chose to drug himself up. Amansalocos are highly illegal in the US but Buck managed to find a discreet supplier by the time he moved back home. With the steady supply of guide suppressants, he’s able to go undetected by even the sharpest and skilled sentinel.

The only downside (because of course there’s a downside there’s always price to pay) of the drug was it while it shut down his psi receptors so he wouldn’t feel other people’s emotions, it also affects is own psi channels enough that he could barely recognize his own emotions. But Buck didn’t care about that, doesn’t need emotions. He is not like the typical guide who chose a job that needs them to use their abilities like a teaching or nursing. He chose to be a firefighter because it's easily the most unlikely job an omega would have. No need to use guide instincts, see the fire, put out the fire the rest is blah, blah. Or so he thought.

Sometimes he could feel an itch that needs to be scratched but pretty soon he figured a cure for that too. Sex. Lots of fucking sex. Buck doesn’t even care who with, he barely feels attraction anymore, so he’d have sex with anyone willing to do it with him. Sex allows him to feel pleasure despite his dull sensibilities. When ever someone touch him, kiss him, fuck him, Buck swears he could feel someone else's emotions echo in him. It's euphoric, that kind of feeling. So it really isn't surprising that Buck got addicted to it. He craves sex so much that it almost cost him his job as a firefighter. If it wasn't for Athena, a cop he used clash with on scenes, vouching for him and his abilities as a firefighter, he would have. So he vowed to himself that he'd keep his addiction separate from his work. And he managed to trudge on long shifts despite the cravings.

Then he met Abby and for the first time he wanted to feel something more than the dull fleeting intimacy his one night stands provide. Because he can see she’s special lady and she makes him feel safe and curious about life. For the very first time in his life he felt inadequate. For the first time felt that his inability to feel emotions a burden rather than a relief.

Buck thought about going off his guide suppressants for her.  She’s not a sentinel and she won’t be able to shield him from the suffocating feeling that would descend upon him the moment the suppressants wash out of his system but Buck thinks she deserves that kind of sacrifice, she deserves Buck being truthful to her.  It’s a  big risk though and he needs to think long and hard if he’s really ready for it. He tried skipping some doses, not long enough for the drugs to wash out his system, but long enough to have some of the effects wear off. Just long enough to test the waters so to speak.

Going off suppressants felt weird at first. Then it got worse. He soon realized that while he can manage being off suppressants while at home with Abby, working without suppressants is a freaking torture. He didn’t even manage to last one call. There car accident involving multiple vehicles, no one was seriously injured but still people’s emotions during an emergency situation like that can ran high and for an untrained guide empath it can be a torture. The moment Buck step into the scene he got knocked by wave of emotions it took him a while get his bearing. Thank god he managed to bring with him an emergency dose of empazepam. He dry swallowed the pill and luckily for him it takes only a few minutes for it to take effect. So he decided to keep taking the suppressants but maybe he could skip when he’s with Abby.

His new found system worked fine. He’s having an even more meaningful relationship with Abby. Then Abby’s mom died and by god Buck could feel the grief like it was his own. He tried to comfort her even though being around her and her grief is suffocating him. Buck thinks he owes her at least that much. Slowly they both heal. Though soon enough Buck felt Abby slowly pulling away. He might have only a bit of empathy left in him but he thinks even a mundane can sense when someone is on the verge of letting go.

Buck wanted to ignore it, wanted to just cling on to Abby tight. Because she’s the one thing, the one proof he could show the world, his friends, that he is not just Buck anymore, that he has a life beyond the confines of station 118. But reality is that Abby is an independent woman who is ready and eager to go out and discover the world. She won’t let anything or anyone stop her from going after what she wants. And Buck just wants her to be happy, so he said he’ll support her in whatever she wanted to do.

So the next thing Buck knew she already has her foot out the door, she said she’s leaving to find herself. But the end result is still the same though, he’s being left behind. Intellectually he knew Abby needs this, and that’s why he put up a brave front. He escorted her to the airport himself, when even letting her out of his sight hurts him. He just hopes she finds herself soon and comes back to him. Cause she'll come back, Buck will just have to wait.

He’s doing well up until for some reason their Captain decided they need another member of the team.

It was one of those days that he's looking for the slightest positive thing in his life to keep him going cause it feels like crumbling around him but he still needs to keep his head up because the team needs him to be functional. He knows that as much as he needs the team to be okay and happy, that they need him to be okay and happy too. He can't show up to work despondent and sluggish, because while the drugs suppresses his ability to feel other people's emotion it only marginally suppress his ability to project his own unto others. He knew from experience that him showing up with less than his usual cheery self would basically trigger foul moods amongst his colleagues.

Luckily for Buck, he has one thing that is going good today that he could focus on. He finally reached his weight goal and just in time for the submissions for the Hot Days, Smoldering Nights: Men of the LAFD wall calendar. So he came in to start his shift with a grin on his face like always, and goes on to brag about his achievements to his team, which he kind of knew they would just laugh at but exactly why Buck is acting like the way he is to keep the team's spirits up. Buck is reveling at his success in spreading joy to the team when Chim started to look past him to the locker room behind him.

"Okay, That is a beautiful man."

"Where's the lie? And I like girls."

“Who the hell is that?” Buck asked frown beginning to form.

“It's Eddie Diaz. New recruit. Graduated top of his class just this week. Guys over at Station Six were dying to have him, but I convinced him to join us.”

“What do we need him for?”

“He served multiple tours in Afghanistan as an Army medic. Guy's got a Silver Star.” So the guy’s a super star then, Buck’s not liking where this is going already. “Plus he’s a latent sentinel. It's not like he's wet behind the ears.”

Fuck really a sentinel, just what Buck needs.   Not.   This is bad. Sure Diaz is latent but Buck avoids sentinels for a reason. The fact that they are all (yes even his sister Maddie) sanctimonious know-it-alls. The only sentinel Buck was able to tolerate was his sister and that’s because he loves her and she took care of him when their parents practically bailed out on them. All sentinels are pretty much smug bastards, in Buck’s opinion. They get away with pretty much everything because of their so called talents. Even as a latent they get privileges of an active Sentinel just because of a quirk in their DNA.

“Come on, I'll introduce you to him.” His captain smiled as he said, “He likes to be called Eight Pack.”

“Wow. Silver Star.” Hen whistles clearly impressed, unlike Buck who just adds to Buck's ire.

“Better drop some more body fat there, butch.” Chim teased quite rudely, which on a normal day Buck would just roll his eyes at since he kind of treats the older man like a mix of a weird uncle/annoying big brother but today it's just throwing him off for some reason and he felt hurt by Chim's harmless comments.

Buck looked towards where the rest of his team is greeting the new guy, and his frown deepened.  Something is wrong with that Diaz guy. Buck is not sure what but the moment he laid eyes on the guy, there a strange feeling blooming in his chest. It must be loathing he decided. Because anything else would mean his guide suppressants are failing and he can’t have that.

#Buddie #buddie au #sentinel/guide au

[spineandprose]

Educated | December 2019

For the entire year, I wished this book wasn’t on our reading list. Seeing Educated  as our December read gave me caution for what I would learn in its pages and how that information would roll around in my head and heart, weighing me with a burden I didn’t need to bear. I don’t handle hard stories well. As this final book selection rolled nearer, my uneasiness grew. I knew this would be a hard read, and even contemplated a few times explaining to this club that I knew myself too well and decided to cautiously decline reading even one page of this memoir. But I wondered if I would regret missing out.

Ten days ago,* I cracked the book open and read about the Indian Princess and the family she housed at her base. Somehow, I was hooked. More than that, I was captivated, spellbound, fascinated with Tara’s story. One more chapter, then one more, then just another. Ultimately, I found Tara to be an exquisite storyteller, a master of words. I found her descriptions to be detailed enough to engulf me and transport me to her world, but she allowed the reader to have emotions for themselves; she didn’t describe her emotions in order to take you into her world, and I liked that. Instead, she let the events and people speak for themselves and for the reader to discover in their own understanding.

Home: Again, and Again, and Again I loved the foreshadowing of the prologue: “[My father] never told me how I’d know when it was time to come home.” Returning home, to her beloved Buck’s Peak and her complicated, unstable home was the thread that weaved, always rough and harsh, through Tara’s novel. As the reader, it was easy to take the stance of run away and never return! and I assumed that her move to college would be such. But she returned: during school breaks and summers, on weekends and for a sole midnight intrusion, for weddings and funerals, reconciliation and reunion, before a final resolve for a peaceful goodbye on her terms. Yet, did you catch it? I think she holds out hope that she may yet be welcomed home, in time. Does anyone else agree with me on this?

As the reader, each time you see her begin a journey back to Buck’s Peak, you wonder: why. I think the author does a tremendous job of displaying how real, deep, and valued family ties are. Though she confronts her parent’s mistreatment, neglect, and failings in their caring for her, she always thinks the best of them. She always says she loves them. She always explains how they are acting in their understanding of love toward her; I saw this especially in her parent’s visit to Harvard, including the Sacred Grove and Niagara Falls. I think Tara can really see that her parents are not whole beings and are loving her as they think is love. But it takes Tara ten years to learn that she cannot be loved by her parents, in their peculiar way, and remain a whole person. In her final visit to Buck’s Peak and her intentional goodbye, she describes this beautifully: “He gave me a stiff hug and said, ‘I love you, you know that?’ ‘I do,’ I said. ‘That has never been the issue.’” (Page 310).

List of Traumatic Events About halfway through the book, I thought I would write down each incident of injury. I found these to be the most intense.

two terrible car crashes

falling 18 feet in a junkyard with a deep leg wound at the age of ten

acting as first responder to a fire burn at the age of ten

physically, emotionally, and verbally abused from roughly the age of 15 to 25

Us vs. Them Because of her father’s, Gene’s, obsession with preparing for the End Days and his distrust of the government, he instilled in his family the mentality of us vs. them: a prevalent thinking that our family knows the real truth and everyone outside these walls---even those inside the same church as us---is out to harm us, destroy us, rip us apart. It’s us vs. them, and they can’t win.

This is ironic. Charles pointed it out---I’m not exactly sure when---but over the course of her story I had developed the same thought: there was no us for the Westovers. They are not looking out for each other. This is displayed in a dozen ways throughout the book:

Not yelling for help when Shawn was being abusive. This is true for likely all the siblings, but it’s known for Tara (the Thanksgiving choke and pin in the family room, the hundreds of times she was inverted into the toilet bowl), revealed through Audrey’s account of violence, and is hinted at through Tyler and Richard’s stance and uneasiness when they witness Shawn’s aggression. Somehow, they each knew that to call on a family member for help was not an option. 

No communication with each other. Again, related to Shawn’s violence, no one shared with another member of the family the abuse they suffered until years after they had all left the house.

No teamwork. On the junkyard and at sites, Gene established it was each man (child, really) for himself. I’m chucking lead, so you better duck. I’m concerned about this wildfire, so you better drive your burning body home yourself. I value money above all things, so you best learn how to balance on that pallet and stop wishing for a cherry picker.

A focus on individual responsibility and strength. Tara describes this specifically when she recalls her instincts on page 102: “All my life those instincts had been instructing me in this single doctrine---that the odds are better if you rely only on yourself.” I think this is also displayed through two events that happened when she was ten: her 18-foot fall from the metal bin at the junkyard and her first response care to Luke’s burned leg. After she fell from the bin, her father responded with, “What happened? How’d you manage that?” (Page 65). After she cared for Luke, her mother responded with, “You were lucky this time, Tara. But what were you thinking, putting a burn into a garbage can?” (Page 71). The parents assumed no responsibility for the danger they flung their children into. Instead, Tara grew up being taught that every hurt and failing was her own doing.

I thought the struggle to name who was ultimately responsible for each hardship was beautifully described at the end of the chapter called Apache Women (page 40), when Tara is wrestling with wondering who was at fault for the first car accident. She crafts the most wonderful conclusion. “Me, I never blamed anyone for the accident, least of all Tyler. It was just one of those things. A decade later my understanding would shift, part of my heavy swing into adulthood, and after that the accident would always make me think of the Apache women, and of all the decisions that go into making a life---the choices people make, together and on their own, that combine to produce any single event. Grains of sand, incalculable, pressing into sediment, then rock.” To me, she is saying that the accident was her father’s fault for not leading the family by being the driver and her mother’s fault for letting him be so selfish. But those are grains of sand overlaying a rocky ground of her father’s untreated depression atop a foundation of false believes (not calling an ambulance for medical help). It’s a long spiral down of many poor choices.

Family Under A Firm, Compassionless Father When I think of Tara’s family, I think of a house full of force, emptied of service; full of physical harm, emptied of protection; full of emotional manipulation, emptied of quiet, listening ears. I thought Tara brilliantly described her father through the example of the math equation: “Dad could command this science, could decipher its language, decrypt its logic, could bend and twist and squeeze from it the truth. But as it passed through him, it turned to chaos.” (Page 126)

The image she describes of her laying on the mattress in the back of their van alongside her mother and Audrey, while her dad accelerates through a snow storm seems to be the perfect picture of how life existed under his authority. He is stubborn, always right In his own eyes, always selfish, never listens, and thrusts his family into harm. I feel so sad for her mom, thinking of her laying there with a quiet question of, “Shouldn’t we drive slower?” answered with acceleration; her eyes closed, body tense, knowing her children will crash alongside her. It is heartbreaking to me to think of the hopelessness of that moment.

After reading about Shawn’s physical, emotional, and verbal abuse toward Tara, I thought she would be most hurt by him. And she was, of course, very hurt---so much that she removed herself from her family. But in how she describes her hurt, it seems that she is most hurt by her father. This at first surprised me. But I now understand; it was under his leadership that all her hurts originated. And it was him who she had to guard herself from as she attempted to reconcile with her mother.

Audrey I found it interesting that no memory or event with Audrey was specifically called out in Tara’s memoir until the revealing of Shawn’s abuse toward her. For the reader, it felt like Tara was connecting with a stranger, but for Tara, we can assume that their relationship as sisters was deeper for her than what we interpret. It isn’t a wonder why there is little to recall of her memories with Audrey, though; Audrey seemed to always have a job outside the home from an early age in order to avoid her father’s junkyard and Shawn’s abuse. I found it so sad to learn that Audrey later retracted her statements of abuse from Shawn. I wonder: how long can a person lie to themselves?

Shawn When I think of Tara’s relationship with Shawn, I feel such a sadness for the emotional complexities and shifting assurances that that relationship brings. How does someone reconcile that their greatest protector and defender is also their most harmful abuser? What a twisted relationship for Tara to process for her own health and wellbeing. Perhaps because the violence toward her is so terrible, the moments of protection he provides are astonishingly remarkable. 

The description of Shawn advocating for Tara’s safety in not running the Shear (page 140) brought me to tears. This violent stranger of a brother risks himself for a month in order to keep her from harm. And yet, he himself is her greatest harm. 

Another moment is described when she is trapped on the runaway horse, Bud. This sentence struck me as beautifully written: “All this would happen in seconds, a year of training reduced to a single, desperate moment.” (Page 103) And he rescues her.

And the one that sets this bipolar relationship into motion, after he has “fixed” her neck and she sees him as, “...some longed-for defender, some fanciful champion, one who wouldn't fling me into a storm, and who, if I was hurt, would make me whole.” (Page 97)

Tyler Contrast this with Tyler, who is the shining hero in her story. The one who encouraged her education, protected her from Shawn, and stood by her when her family disowned her. This single sentence is remarkable: “How do you thank a brother who refused to let you go, who seized your hand and wrenched you upward, just as you had decided to stop kicking and sink? There aren’t words for that, either.” (Page 317) 

Reading that sentence made me weep, and this is what I think Tara is best at: in bringing the complicated emotions and abuses of the human heart into such beautiful descriptions that the reader is left knowing the depths of the potential of the human race’s unthinkable harm and yet abundant rescue a bit more poetically.

Final Thoughts Oh, there are likely a dozen more moments I’d like to discuss; I feel as if I’ve barely scratched the surface of my notes. I loved this book because I love reading non-fiction, and I’m finding memoirs are my favorite. I loved this book because the writing was simply beautiful and her storytelling supreme. Her realization, “...that a life is not a thing unalterable.” (page 286) might sum up the triumph from tragedy that her life represents. Amazing. Of course, I give it five stars.

I’d love to hear what you thought of the book, even if you have a less glowing review than mine. Please share your takeaways below!

Also, one of my favorite podcasts did a book review of Educated. Take a listen here if you’re interested.

*It took me twice as long to write my review as it did for me to read the book! So the start of this review isn’t hot off the press. ;)

[jxmes-bbxrnes]

You Deserve The World || Bucky Barnes

Masterlist

Summary: You and Bucky were almost perfect for each other. Both of you had hearts of gold but both of you were damaged. In the end one of you was just more damaged than the other.

Warning/ Rating: ANGST

Characters/pairings: past!Bucky x Reader, Steve Rogers, mentioned! Tony Stark

Word count: 1.8k

Bucky looked so handsome in his tux. You always dreamed of this day. Of Bucky standing there at the end of the aisle with Steve by his side, the brightest smile on his face as you walk down to start a new journey in your lives as his, forever. But this was not you happy ever after. Instead you’re sitting on the side of the aisle waiting for the lucky bride to walk down and start a future with the man you loved.

Soon enough the symphony started playing signaling the guest to rise from their seats. Anna, the bride, looked beautiful in her gown as she walked down the aisle. She practically glowed and the baby bump was just peaking through. Her eyes lit up when she looked at Bucky and his did too. The officiator began his lines and your mind drifted off to where it gone wrong.

"Just one night James! One night! Is it so wrong for me to ask?"

"He put his hands all over you! I wasn’t going to just stand there and do nothing."

"I could have handled it myself. I’m not as weak and defenseless as you think."

"Oh really now?"

"Don’ be an asshole, I was doing fine before I met you Bucky. I don’t need you to start a fist fight and nearly kill someone every time we go out."

"If you’re so good then why did you let your old man slap you around?"

"Don’t bring that man into this. You have no right."

"No right? Y/n, I found you sleeping on a park bench in the dead winter because he got so drunk that he locked you out of the shitty apartment you lived in."

"Stop Bucky, I’m warning you."

"Or what about that time I had to carry you to the hospital because he tried to kill you, his own flesh and blood. Your mom wasn’t that much better. An alcoholic that left you when you were five. Let’s hope that those genes don’t get past down." You couldn’t take it anymore and blurted out the secret that you’ve been hiding from him

“I can’t get pregnant."

"What?"  

"I can’t get pregnant. I found out a month ago."

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"I wanted to. I wanted to tell you so badly but I see that look in your eyes when you’re around Tony’s son. God, you were meant to be a father I just know it but I can’t give you that. I just wanted some more time to be with you. I didn’t want us to end this way."

"End? No, we can get through this Doll." A tear slipped down my face.

"You deserve the world Bucky, you deserve to be happy with someone who can give you a family. But that’s not with me Buck. And that’s okay. A happy family was meant to be your happy ever after, but I guess it’s not mine."

“We don’t need to start a family. It’ll be okay. All I want is you.”

“I can’t, I shouldn’t hold you back from the family you deserve. Tell me, honestly that you don’t want a son or daughter to call your own.”

“I- Y/n, please.” A tear slipped down hs cheek.

“It’s okay. Nothing would make me happier than to see you happy with a loving wife and children. Even if it’s not with me. I’ve come to terms with it, now I need you to as well.”

“I’ll never to able to find someone like you. Never be able to love someone like I love you.”

“You don’t need someone like me. You need someone better, someone perfect. One without shitty parents who would know what it’s like to grow up in a loving home.”

“I didn’t mean what I said. You would have been a great mom.”

“And you’re going to be an amazing father to a beautiful baby. A baby that’s going to be so loved by their parents. And spoiled by all of his aunties and uncles. But for that happen, we need to let go. I’m going to stay at Steve’s for the night and tomorrow move out.”

“You don't have to leave. Move out. This is your home too.”

“This was never my home. You were my home, I could be anywhere in the universe and I as long as I was with you I was home. But now you’re going to someone else’s home and I need to find my own. I’ll see you in the morning.”

But you never did. You went to Steve’s that night bawling your eyes out. The next morning you couldn’t do it. You knew that if you went back there that you would take back your words. So you had Steve run over there and pick up your stuff. Bucky tried calling you but you never picked up the phone. You were with Tony trying to figure out a plan for you to disappear for a while. Staying in the city was too close to the man you loved so you moved away later that week to Paris.

Five years later you get a package in the mail from Bucky. You knew that Tony must have sent it for him since Tony would have taken your whereabouts to the grave. Inside was a journal with the events that transpired after you left. He wrote about how much he missed you, the missions that he went on, the special occasions that you missed and lastly how he fell in love again.

At the end of the journal was the invitation to their wedding at the end of the month. You debated whether or not you would go leading up to the day and a week before you made up your mind that you would go. You called Tony and got a private jet that would leave that night. You spent the week hanging out with everyone and catching up and then it was the day of the wedding. You didn’t enter the chapel until just before she would walk down the aisle.

Suddenly you snapped out of your thoughts just in time to see the two kiss. Instead of sadness or anger towards the woman you felt happy. Happy because  Bucky got to get his happy ever after.

The progression moved on to the reception hall and the party started. You stayed at your little table with everyone since they were the only people you knew. Occasionally you made yourself over to the open bar where he ultimately caught you.

“Y/n.”

“James. Congratulations on the wedding and the baby.”

“Thanks Y/n, where have you been all these years? Tony wouldn't tell anyone let alone me where you went off to.”

“I’m living in Paris. I always wanted to stay there and took the opportunity.”

“How long are you staying after the wedding? We could catch up.”

“I’m leaving probably tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? What about the others?”

“I’ve been here a week. I saw everyone except you and Steve since I got back. I gave them my number and address if they ever wanted to talk are were nearby.”

“A week? Why didn’t-”

“James? What are you doing back here?” A voice called out. He turned around to reveal his now wife.

“Hannah.” His voice instantly brightened. “I was just catching up with an old friend, Hannah this is Y/n. Y/n, this is Hannah.”

“Congratulations, the wedding was beautiful. Bucky is lucky to have you.” I switched back to his nickname since James felt too personal. The only one that deserves to call him by such an endearing way is her.

“I’m the lucky one here. But that wouldn’t be without you. James told me about you.”

“It was nothing. I’m just happy that he was able to find someone perfect for him.” I told her honestly. 

“Are you seeing anyone Y/n?” she asked. Bucky looked at me curious.

“Not exactly. It’s complicated. Um, you should get back to the party. We are celebrating the two of you after all.”

The two of them nodded and joined the rest of the crowd on the floor while I stayed back. I ordered a shot and downed it immediately and was about to get another when a pair of arms grabbed me.

“How did I know I was going to find you back here.” said the person.

“What can I say, I’m predictable. What do you want Steve?”

“How did it go with Bucky?”

“It was fine. Hard, but fine. Hannah seems nice.”

“Anything else?”

“I thought coming back and seeing him would bring back old memories and feelings and it did. Just not in the way that I was expecting. I still love him but I’m not in love with him anymore. He’s happy and that’s all I ever wanted. I got the closure that I’ve been needing. I can move on now.”

“In that case. Will you do my the honor of a dance?” I nod.

I could see the whole gang watch us as we made our way to the dance floor. The way I laid my head on his chest meant more than just a dance and Steve’s hands rested too low for just friends. Everyone gawked at the sight of us. No one expected the two of us to have any sort of relationship outside of being friends. When the song ended Wanda, Sharon and Natasha pulled to the side to grill me why I didn't mention me and Steve. I tried to explain that we were figuring things out but they weren’t having it. I went outside while they debated on the anatomy of Steve.

“So it’s complicated huh?” Bucky asked walking up from behind.

“Yeah. It just happened. He kept on visiting even though I told him to stop. But that was a lie, I missed seeing a familiar face.”

“He knew where you were?”

“A year after I left Steve showed up bleeding on my doorstep in the middle of the night and I helped him.”

“He knew where you were this whole time? Why didn't he tell me?”

“What would you have done Buck? Tony knew I needed the time away and only gave Steve my location because it was urgent. If he wasn't in such bad shape, he would have never known where I was. And a part of me wished he didn’t because then I wouldn’t have to feel this pain of loving someone who deserves better than what I can give them.”

“Y/n, you are the most selfless person I know. No one else would have done what you did for another person’s happiness. I don’t think I would have. That’s why I know that you above anyone else deserves to find someone. And if I had known what was happening I would have told Steve to hold onto you tight and never let go.” He let out a deep breath. “Because the chances of him finding someone like you again is slim to none. So don’t do anything rash just yet, see where things take you.”

“I love you James.”

“I love you too Baby Doll. And just know I’ll be right there by your side no matter what.”

Part 2

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes angst #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #Avengers #avengers imagine #avengers x reader

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

A Goddamn Virgin - Babe Heffron

I came up with this because I just finished my latest rewatch.

No disrespect meant to the actual heroes. Just a fic about the actors’ portrayal in the HBO miniseries.

Pairing: Babe Heffron x reader Word Count: 7,202 Synopsis: The reader joins the war as an alrady engaged nurse to Easy Company. After befriending Bill, the reader meets Babe and they start a relationship that can’t be undone. (I’m so bad at summaries.) Warnings: Smut

“Y/N, you gotta come here!” Bill called from across the room, waving you over ecstatically. You laughed to yourself and followed through the room of crowded men. Bill was sitting at one of the benches with men you had known since the beginning, and a handsome red-head you hadn’t seen before. 

“What?” Luz slid down the bench, leaving a seat for you.

“I just wanted to introduce you to my new friend here.” You looked over at the red-head who held out his hand to you.

“Edward Heffron.”

“Nice to meet you. Are you from-”

“Philly,” Bill said with a smirk, he had recognized the accent as instantly as you had. “Y/N, here, also hails from Philly.” Edward nodded in appreciation.

“Not originally.”

“Right, right.” Edward looked at Bill, and the veteran soldier slapped his arm. “Y/N is engaged to someone from Philly.”

“So how did you get here?”

“My fiance convinced me to join the fight with him. He had no idea that I’d be assigned to the Airborne.”

“Where did he get assigned?”

“Army.”

“Y/N is a nurse. If you’re lucky, you won’t see her around too often.”

“Aww, Bill, you don’t like having me around?”

“No, he just doesn’t want another man competing for your attention,” Luz said, elbowing your arm. Bill had a few choice words for George, but the replacement only smiled and turned a slight shade of red. 

“Oh ho!” Joe cried out as your dart hit right on the nose. Buck gave you a high five and you smiled over at Heffron. 

“Not bad,” he said with a smirk.

“Not bad? I’d like to see you do better.”

“I wouldn’t start with her, Babe,” Bill said, walking over to the group.

“Babe?” you asked.

“Yeah, didn’t you hear?” Bill asked, grinning. You shook your head and watched Babe turn a shade of red. “Babe here got a letter from a broad back home?”

“Oh you did?” you asked, enjoying watching him smile.

“Maybe.” You laughed as Bill described it to you. The letter was from someone named Doris, and she dedicated it to “Babe,” hence the nickname. 

“Come on,” Babe said, “Are we gonna play darts or not?”

“Sure, Babe,” you said, winking at him when you said his name.  He rolled his eyes, and when you were beside him aimed his dart. 

“Bullseye!” he called out, making the men around you cheer.

“Not bad.” He laughed at your mimicking of what he said earlier.

“You’re really competitive.”

“I know,” you said, cocking your head. “Wanna bet?” Babe laughed and shook his head.

“What could you even offer up?” Your eyes were locked on his, the excitement of a competition and the chance to flirt hanging in the air. 

“Alright, Y/N, we can’t have you corrupt our dear old Babe here. That’s our job,” Bill said, butting in. 

“Fine, but he owes me a rematch once he’s nice and corrupted.” 

“Do you want some help?” It was at the accent in the voice that made you turned. Babe stood behind you, already holding the box of bed sheets and supplies you had given to Gene a few moments earlier.

You hadn’t seen Babe since Bill’s lost his leg. Before then, every time you vistied Easy, you made sure to spend some time teasing and flirting with Babe. He didn’t seem to mind, and he was one of the only bright faces you could look forward to. The two of you had created a special relationship you hadn’t ever had with anyone else.

“What are you doing here?” you asked with a smile.

“Gene needed help. I was the lucky bastard that got to come along.”

“Well, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” you said as Babe followed you out of the room. For soldiers that were still on the line, it was best to keep them out of the operating and holding room as much as possible. 

“Yeah?” he asked with a sloppy grin.

“Yes, but don’t go getting any ideas,” you said, walking him outside. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I know you’re taken. Bill made sure I knew that from the minute we met.” You smiled sadly. It had been a while since you thought about your friend, Bill. With all of the work you had at the aid station in Bastogne, it was easy to forget that Bill and Joe got their legs blown off.

Babe might have noticed the change on your face and took a seat on an overturned crate in the snow. He motioned for you to the do the same. “You’re a sight, too, Y/N.”

“How is everyone?” you asked after smiling in response.

“As well as they can be.”

“How are you?” He shrugged as a response. “As much as I miss you guys, I’m glad I haven’t seen many of you here.” Babe nodded and set his jaw. There was a look on his face that he was hiding something, and you wondered if you should push it or not. You weren’t very close, your entire friendship with Babe stemmed from knowing Bill. 

“Is there something I don’t know?” you asked, taking a leap by putting your hand over his. His face tightened. Tears might have begun to form in his eyes, but if they were ever there, he kept them down before you could fully see them. 

“This kid, Julian. He was a replacement in my foxhole. He got hit and I couldn’t save him.”

“I’m sorry.” He nodded, frowning.

“He was a kid. Looked like he never shaved. Told me he was still a goddamn virgin. Can you believe it?” He looked up at you, expecting you to laugh. You didn’t, instead just stared at your feet with a small smile. “Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” you asked.

“I didn’t mean to make you-”

“Oh, you didn’t. It’s just- I am-” You stopped and laughed at yourself. Babe was confused, but then his face softened.

“Y/N, don’t tell me-”

“Yes, Babe, I am still a virgin,” you admitted, rolling your eyes. His mouth opened slightly and you watched the gears turn in his head as he tried to wrap his mind around what you just said. 

“You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re engaged.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’ve never?”

“No, Babe. That’s what being a virgin means.”

“And your fiance, he never tried to-”

“Jesus, Babe. Yes, of course, we’ve talked about it. And, don’t get me wrong, we haven’t been completely chaste.” Babe’s eyes brightened and you rolled your eyes.

“Are you trying to make me feel better or seduce me?” You laughed and shook your head.

“Make you feel better, but who knows. It’s certainly not coming off that way.” Babe laughed and you finally saw the weight of Julian leave him. Gene called out to him, and he turned his back from you. You felt the heat in your cheeks and wished it away. 

“Well, Y/N, if you ever want to not be a virgin, you know where to find me.” You rolled your eyes and stood with him.

“Good to know.” Babe laughed and picked up his box of supplies. 

“Thanks, Y/N. You’ve made me feel a whole lot better,” he said with a wink.

“Goodbye, Babe.”

“Y/N!” You turned at the sound of your name, but of course, you knew who it was. You would recognize that voice anywhere. Babe was hustling towards you, walking away from his friends who were in line to take a shower here in Hagenau.

You had noticed him a moment before, but considering how you acted around him the last time, you weren’t sure you wanted to relieve that humiliation. Besides, he was standing with the rest of the men in his platoon and they all looked pissed and exhausted.

“Hey, Babe,” you said once he rached you.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“What can I say? I can’t stay away from you.” You laughed awkwardly as Babe smiled. You didn’t know why being around him brought out this side of you. You reminded yourself over again that you had a fiance, but it was hard to think about him when you hadn’t seen him in over a year.

“Come to take me up on my offer?” You opened your mouth and then stopped yourself.

“No, Babe.” His smile faltered a little. “How are you doing?” He shrugged and you touched his shoulder softly. “Maybe I’ll catch up later, okay? I have to meet with my boss.”

“Sure. Or I can stop by to see you.” You raised an eyebrow at him and nodded.

“I’d like that.” Babe licked his lips as he went back to his platoon. You clenched your fists, not liking the feeling that you were getting when around Babe. 

An hour or so later, Babe found his way to the house you were staying in. He walked in with a smile and started talking but you shook your head to get him to shut up. Your boss walked into the room and forced a polite smile on his face.

“What can I do for you, soldier?”

“He just had a wound he wanted me to look at,” you lied. Your boss nodded.

“Okay. If you’ve got things handled here, I think I’ll go catch up with some of the boys back at company CP.” You nodded and looked at Babe until he left the room. Once he was gone, you invited Babe to join you on the couch.

“Sorry about that, he’s just a pain when he think I’m not working.” 

“No problem.”

“So, do you have any wounds you actually want me to take a look at?” you asked.

“No. I’m fine.”

“Well, Babe, you don't look fine.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your hair doesn’t have its usual bright-chipperness. You aren’t smiling like you usually do. And you haven't made any jokes about my virginity.” Babe laughed, throwing his head back in a way that made your heart flutter.

“I showered, which I thought might brighten my hair, but if you think another will help we can go-” You rolled your eyes as Babe laughed aloud. “I”m sorry.”

“As long as you’re smiling, it’s okay.” Babe laid his arm around the back of the couch. 

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m alright. Missing home.”

“And your fiance?” he asked, looking up at you. You sighed.

“Sometimes. And sometimes no. There’s just so much leading up to our return that it’s more terrifying than staying here. Please, don’t think I’m being insensitive,” you said as Babe made a face at your comment, “I know the dangers here, and I wish every day that the war will end. I've just gotten used to these people, and being here, that I’m afraid of what I’ll see when I return home.”

Babe nodded somberly. “I know. I’m feeling the same way too. When I get home, there will be nobody who will understand.” You reached out and put a hand over his.

“There won’t be nobody. You do live in the same town as Bill and I.”

“Yeah, but the second you get home you’ll be making babies.”

“Don’t remind me,” you said, falling back on the couch. “As if it’s not scary enough going home, I have a lot to live up to.”

“What do you have to live up to?” Babe asked, watching you. 

“You know.”

“No, I don’t. Your fiance would be insane if he doesn’t go crazy when he’s with you. Like I’ve said before, Y/N, you are totally gorgeous.”

“You’re such a flirt,” you said with a smile. Babe blushed and held out his hand. You took it and he squeezed your hand.

“Everything will be fine. As soon as you get home, everything will go back to normal. But, if you are really that nervous, I could help you become more familiar with it.”

“Could you?” you hummed.

“If you’d like.”

“Are you sure you aren’t too tired?” Babe laughed and stood up, holding out his hand. You took it and he pulled you up.

“I can never be too tired for you.” You smiled and let him pull you closer. “The most important part is the build up. You want your partner to be just as excited as you are.”

“And that involves dancing?” you asked as he entwined his fingers with yours. His arm was on your back, keeping your chest close to his. There was no music, but Babe was feeling the rhythm nonetheless. 

“Sometimes.” He swayed your bodies back and forth making sure to keep his eyes on your face at all times. 

“Who taught you all of this? One of your past girlfriends?”

“You don’t believe I just knew this all from the start?”

“No,” you said with a smile. Babe spun you around, making you giggle softly.

“I never had a lot of girlfriends. In fact, no one really took a second look at me until I joined the Paratroopers.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re hot.” Babe cackled, throwing his head back again so much that you fell forward with him. 

“See, I told you you would be fine.” You pulled yourself back up into his chest, and your eyes locked at the same moment.

“So what happens next?” you asked. 

“Hopefully,” he said, coming to a stop, “You’ve created the right kind of mood that would invoke a physical reaction.”

“Like?”

“Like a kiss,” he said, moving again, dipping you softly as he spun you in a half circle. 

“And who initiates that?” Babe smirked and shook his head.

“You’d never think that the beautiful ones are the ones who don’t know what they’re doing.”

“Hey, if you want me to find someone else,” you offered, backing away from him. He didn’t let go of his grip on your hand and pull you back to his chest.

“No, I never said that.” You smiled and looked up at him. You had never realized how tall Babe was. He definitely wasn’t the tallest in the company, but standing this close, you saw that he was a good bit taller than you. He was much taller than all of the other men you had met from Philly, including your fiance.

“What?” he asked. You shook your head. You didn’t know why you had a million thoughts on his height or a million more on everything else about him.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?” he asked, his face growing more serious.” You looked him in the eye, wondering if he was feeling the same tension when you were together that you were. Of course, Babe always joked with you about how gorgeous you were and having sex, but you couldn’t fully tell if his feelings were genuine.

“Nothing.”

“Your fiance?” You looked up into his eyes and shook your head.

“No.”

“Why not?” he asked, “I thought we were doing this to-”

“We were- are. It’s just, you’re nothing like him.” Babe set his jaw, and you made up your mind right then and there. Babe wasn’t like your fiance. He wasn’t like anyone you had ever met before. He made you feel in a way you had never felt before. In fact, Babe was so much unlike your fiance and every other man you had met, that you weren’t thinking about anyone or anything else when you leaned in to kiss him. 

Babe was taken by surprise, but quickly recovered and found his balance by putting his hand on the back of your head. You smiled into the kiss, realizing that his lips were as soft as they looked. He deepened the kiss with a slight turn of his head and you started to feel more than butterflies in your stomach.

Feeling like you never had before, you pulled away for air. You stared at Babe and watched him open his mouth to say something. You shook your head, your eyes locked together.

You kissed him again and this time Babe was more sure of himself. You let his arms wrap around your waist as yours went on his cheek and neck. Babe said he never really had a girlfriend, but the way his tongue moved contradicted that.

He backed you up to the couch you had been sitting on before, and you fell onto it. You looked up at him and laughed. He stood wide-eyed and breathless. You said his name softly.

“Sorry,” he said, leaning over you again, planting a few kisses to your face.

“Babe.” 

“I’m sorry, I just never thought this would happen. Even in my wildest fantasies-”

“We don’t have to,” you said. Babe shook his head and sat down next to you. He took your hand in his. 

“No, believe me, I want to.” You blushed and gave his hand a squeeze. “I just- I’m worried.”

“About what?”

“I’m worried that if we do this, there will be no hiding my feelings for you.”

“I understand.” Babe bit his lip and searched your face for a good minute before speaking again.

“So, let’s just do it as a teaching lesson.” Your eyes brightened as his eyes landed on yours again. He leaned in closer, making sure his movement was more deliberate this time. He moved slowly as his lips connected with yours.

With his hand on your cheek, he was in control of your movement. You let him have it gladly. Even if you were more experienced, kissing Babe was an adventure you were happy for him to lead. Each move he made, each time he kissed you and re-kissed you was a surprise and sensation you weren’t expecting.

Your hands went to the collar of his jacket, hoping to show him that you weren’t completely helpless. You started to work the buttons on his thick coat, and Babe smiled through his kiss. Once his jacket was off, Babe pulled you into his lap and planted his hands on your hips.

His eyes trailed your body, moving from your face down. His hands rubbed your skin as he analyzed every detail of your body. You made a quip about him looking instead of doing and his lips met yours again. After a few kisses there, they traveled along your jaw and down your neck.

You breathed in pleasure, grinding your body into his lap. Babe smiled against your skin and sucked hard on your collarbone. You moaned and gripped his shoulder. Babe laughed and made his way back up your neck. He peppered kisses all along it, leaving a few hickies in his wake.

“Am I being informative?” Babe asked with a sweet smile when you pushed him away to catch your breath. You rolled your eyes and sat down in his lap. Before, you had just been straddling him. 

“Fairly so.” He gripped your hips and pulled you flush against his skin. When he did, you felt a pressure in his lap you hadn’t felt earlier.

“Are you enjoying this?” you asked, smirking slightly.

“Very much,” he said, keeping his hands on you, grinning up at you. “Are you?”

You cocked an eyebrow at him. Babe knew you were enjoying yourself. He had complete control over the situation, and you were determined to show him that he wasn’t the only one able to drive someone crazy. 

“Yes. In fact, I’d like to thank you for being so helpful.” You stood up and dropped down to your knees, watching Babe’s face turn the brightest shade of red you had ever seen. He scooted to the edge of the couch, keeping his eyes locked on yours as you unzipped his pants. 

As you had felt earlier, Babe was already pretty hard for you. You helped him out of his pants, and started massaging his dick. He watched you, a calmness seeming to wash over him. In the rhythmic motion your fiance had taught you a long time ago, you gave Babe the best hand job you had ever given.

When you told him that you and your fiance hadn’t been completely chaste, this is what you were referring you. You kissed along the edge, working your way up to his tip. Babe bucked his hips and you smiled before taking him in your mouth.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, gripping your hair. You couldn’t help but smile as you sucked his dick. You would never tell anyone this, but Babe was a few inches longer than your fiance.

You continued sucking and kissing and massaging his dick for the next few minutes before Babe pulled you off. He laid on the couch, running his hand through his hair and staring off at the wall for a few moments. You laughed and he looked up at you, smiling.

“You sure you’re a virgin?” You giggled and Babe stood up, kissing you again. “Let’s go downstairs.” You nodded and led him down there. You found a private room and kicked open the door. Before you could even reach the bed, Babe ripped off your dress and panties and threw them in a pile by the door.

He was backing you up to the bed, laying you down carefully. He kissed you a few more times, rubbing against your entrance. While he kissed you, his fingers traveled down your whole body and he started fingering you. At contact, you moaned and threw your arms over your head. 

He took his hand away and licked his fingertips. You let out another groan and grabbed his face with your hands, kissing him deeply. He started to push himself into you, but you shook your head.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking at you with concern.

“Absolutely nothing,” you said, kissing him again. “Just, you’re exhausted and this is probably the first time in a long time that you’ve got to relax, yeah?” Babe shrugged and you pushed him onto his back. 

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I want you to relax,” you said, throwing your leg over him again. You fit him inside you and moaned out softly. Babe quickly backed up to the headboard and smiled.

“You’re amazing.” You smirked and kissed him softly as you started rocking your hips. His hands gripped your waist, leaving small nail indents. After a few beats, Babe started pushing into you. You let him take the lead for a while, enjoying watching him move and his face as he trailed your body with his eyes. 

Everyone had always told you what having sex for the first time would be like, but you never imagined it like this. It was supposed to hurt, women had told you, but you only felt slight pain when you first took him in. One of your married friends said that it was always what the guy wanted, but Babe had spent most of the night pleasuring you. 

You took control of the situation again as the pleasure started to take hold of Babe. His hands gripped your waist even harder, and he started kissing your breast. It wasn’t too soon after that you started to feel yourself losing control, too. 

Over and over Babe thrust into you, a new round of pleasure flowing over your body. You threw your head back as he pushed hard five more times. Babe pushed you off quickly and came on the sheets beside you. You smiled as he laid you down on your back.

“Here comes your most important lesson,” he said, kissing your abdomen. You ran your hands through his hair as his mouth traveled downwards and he soon started licking your clit. You felt yourself tighten up as he continued to kiss and suck expertly against you. Your legs started to thrash and your hips bucked before you came, crying out softly.

It was still freezing outside, so not too soon afterward you wrapped up in the blankets. Babe was staring up at the ceiling, a smile still on his face. You looked back at him, your face on the warm sheets.

“What?” he asked, looking down at you. You shrugged.

“Thank you.” Babe rolled his eyes and scoffed lightheartedly. 

“You don’t have to thank me for this.” You scooted up and wrapped yourself around the pillow. Babe looked over at you and turned so you were facing each other.

“I’d like to thank you anyways.” Babe blew air out of his nose and looked down. “By the way, if you couldn’t tell, you are amazing.” Even after everything that just happened, Babe still had the decency to blush.

“You flatter me. Don’t put yourself to shame though, Y/N. You were wonderful. You’re going to drive your fiance crazy when you get home.” You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Please, don’t apologize. I brought you both into my mess.” Babe brushed your hair behind your ear, making you turn to look at him. “Can I tell you the truth?”

“Yeah.”

“We did this because I was nervous about doing it with Anthony for the first time, but I didn’t think about him once during.” Babe didn’t say anything, but swallowed. That was the first time you had ever used your fiance’s name around any of the men. “Should I have?”

“I don’t know.”

“I always thought the man I’d lose my virginity to would be my husband, but . . .”

“Just because things didn’t play out the way you expected them to doesn’t mean that you still won’t get the happy ending you desired.”

“Do you still believe in happy endings?”

“I have to to get through all of this. We have to go on a patrol tonight, and if I don’t believe in happy endings, I’ll never get through tonight. If I don’t believe that I’ll get home in one piece, then I never will.”

“You have a patrol tonight?” As he nodded, you leaned forward and kissed him deeply.

“What was that for?”

“I don’t know. Maybe something to look forward to when you get back.”

“Yeah?” he asked with a lazy smile.

“Yeah.” 

“Thank you,” he said after he got out of bed and got dressed.

“What for?”

“For still being my friend after Bill left.”

“Well, Babe,” you said, lying on your stomach, “I may have met you because of Bill, but that’s not why I became your friend.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Good luck.”

Babe came back from the patrol without a scrape, but the mission had put an emotional strain on him. When he came back to your house, you saw the look on his face and the actions of last night happened all over again.

This time, Babe was on top, always in control of the situation. He was frustrated, and you could feel it in everything he did. However, he was never anything but gentle with you.

“Will you tell him about me?” he asked, afterward. You looked at him, taken aback by what he was saying.

“I think so. One day.” Babe set his jaw and nodded. “I have to tell you something.” He didn’t say anything and didn’t look at you. “Anthony is getting shipped back. He took the better part of a grenade, and he’ll be fine, but he wants me to be there when he gets home.”

“That’s great, Y/N,” he said, getting out of bed.

“Babe,” you said, following him towards the door. He only had his pants on, if he walked outside his bare chest would be exposed to the cold. “Please don’t end this like this.”

“I’m not ending it.”

“I don’t even know if I can leave, nonetheless if I want to.”

“Wait, why wouldn’t you want to?” he asked, shaking his head.

“Because of you,” you said, shoving him softly. Since Babe got back from the patrol, he wasn’t acting like himself. He was reserved and angry. “I didn’t sleep with you because-” you stopped yourself and groaned, walking away from him. You started to gather up his things, not wanting to talk anymore.

“You didn’t sleep with me because what?” he asked, coming deeper into the bedroom.

“I didn’t sleep with you just because you wore me down. Since I got here I have had boys in my face, flirting with me, doing more than just asking. You told me that you were worried you couldn’t hide your feelings. It’s very clear that you don’t want to be around me right now, and that’s fine, but please don’t push me away because you can’t hide your feelings. You aren’t the only one.”

Babe looked into your eyes, his eyebrows scrunching. He shook his head and you laughed cynically, closing your eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” you said. “About all of it.” You were beginning to cry now. “I’m sorry I flirted with you constantly, I’m sorry I always threw my fiance in your face, I’m sorry I slept with you.”

“Y/N,” Babe said, shushing you, cupping your cheeks. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because I was selfish. I saw that you liked me, and I used that. I hurt you, and I hurt myself, and I’m sure I’ll hurt more. I love you,” you said, breaking down and falling into his chest. You sobbed, not really for him, or even your fiance. You cried for you because you knew what had to happen.

Babe held you to his chest, brushing your hair. He didn’t speak, and he didn’t try to stop your crying. He just held you because he knew what was coming as well.

“Y/N,” he said, pushing you back a little, “Don’t apologize to me. You didn’t use me. I knew what I was getting into.”

“I have to go home.”

“I know.” You shook your head and Babe dropped his hands from your arms. “Look me up in Philly.” You smiled a little and wiped at your eyes. 

“Get home safely,” you said. He picked his things back up, and started to leave. He reached for the door once more, and you stopped him once more. You grabbed his cheeks and kissed him with everything you had. 

“I lo-” You shook your head and opened the door for him.

“If you don’t say it, I won’t have to hear it.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

Life back in the States was already back to normal. Many veterans were returning home, eager to get their lives back on track. That included Anthony. 

The grenade that hit him shattered his shoulder and cut up his entire back. His arm was in a sling when he got home, but he still hugged you tightly. It was good to be back in his arms, you told yourself. They were strong and his muscles were defined. They were comforting, but they weren’t soft. Not like . . .

Once he got home, he wanted your wedding to happen right away. For the next months, as everyone around you planned, you watched the paper. Each day, a new soldier was coming home. Bill came home and was transferred to a hospital nearby. You had visited him only once. 

One day, after checking the paper, you vowed to never do so again. Maybe he would never come home, but if he did, you didn’t need to think about him. You were marrying Anthony and that was all that mattered.

Months later, it was June and sunny and you were getting married. You stood in front of the mirror, the stereotypical bride, admiring your dress. The women around you complimented you, but it all passed through you. 

There were certain silly things you were focusing on. One of your bridesmaids had a cold, and her nose was bright red. Another one was talking about how excited she was to dance, she could always feel the rhythm in any dance. Your mother raved about how Anthony would look when he saw you, breaking into a heartbreaking grin. 

You only nodded slightly at what your mother said. She soon led you out into the hall and to your father’s arm. He told you how proud he was of you. He had never said that when you came home.

The music started up and you saw Anthony. He stood at the end of the aisle, watching you with a serious look in his eyes. He cleared his throat, but other than that, he made no bright exclamation. Your father drew up your veil and you smiled at Anthony. He smiled back and took your hand. 

Maybe if you had been a different religion, you would have gone through with the ceremony. However, Catholic ceremonies were long and boring, and while the priest dragged on, you couldn’t help but let your mind run back to Hagenau. 

“Y/N?”

“What?” you asked, focusing your eyes back on Anthony.

“Do you take this man?” the priest asked again in a hushed tone. There was an uncomfortable mumbling passing over the cathedral. You searched Anthony’s eyes and he shook his head in confusion. 

“Y/N?”

“I need to talk to you,” you whispered. He laughed softly and looked around, slightly confused. “Please.”

“Alright,” he said, taking your hand. He walked you back up the aisle, not listening to the calls from both of your mothers. He led you out into one of the spare rooms in the cathedral and sat down on the couch. “What is it?”

“There’s something I never told you about the war.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought I could forget about it and move on, but- I met someone. The company that I was around a lot. I got to know the men pretty well and I fell for one of them.”

“What do you mean you ‘fell’ for one of them?“

“I cheated on you. I fell in love with another man.” Anthony rubbed his thighs, trying to keep his cool.

“Did you kiss him?” You nodded and dropped your head into your hands. “What?”

“I didn’t just kiss him.” Anthony stood up and grunted something to himself as he turned away from you.

“Even after all the times I tried to get you to, after I proposed and everything? You wouldn’t until we were married, and then some prick manipulates you-”

“No, Anthony, he didn’t manipulate me,” you said, walking towards him. “It was my decision. It was what I wanted.” He rolled his eyes and looked up to the heavens for answers. It was a while until he spoke again.

“Why now? Why not tell me when I got home? Why not keep it secret forever? Do you still want to be together?” You felt the tears fill in your eyes and dropped down on the couch. “Baby?” he asked, crouching down in front of you.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed and used your knees as a way to stand.

“Yeah, me too.” 

“I do love you.”

“I love you, too, Y/N.” He kissed your forehead and walked towards the door, having to do the difficult job of telling everyone who came out for the event. You gathered yourself and sneaked back to the dressing room. You took your mothers keys and quickly escaped from the uproar that was about to happen.

A month later, your mother had all but threatened to kick you out. She had been staying in a hotel, ready to head back down south once the wedding was over. Each day she tried to get you to change your mind and each night your father tried to talk you back to your ‘senses.’

One afternoon, after they tried to gang up on you and bully you back to Anthony, you decided to head out to a bar. You ordered yourself a beer and sat at the bar alone. A group of men were watching the sports game on the tv in the corner, and you turned your head at one of the voices.

“Bill?” The bar was relatively empty, and those that were in there were silent as they watched the game. Because of this, Bill turned his head at the sound of his name. 

“Y/N?!” You smiled as he came to you on his crutches. He took a seat and you hugged him tightly. “What’s a gal like you doing here?”

“Hiding,” you said, ordering a beer for Bill. He nodded like he knew what you were talking about. “You heard then?”

“Word travels fast,” he said with a nod. “So you left him after everything you've both been through?” You nodded and took a swig. “Can I ask why?”

“After you left, Bill, I fell for someone else. I cheated on Anthony, and I thought I could forget about him, but I couldn’t. When I was in the cathedral, I saw him everywhere. When I walked down the aisle, I kept picturing another man in Anthony’s place.”

“Shit. No man wants to hear that.”

“He took it surprisingly well to tell you the truth. Maybe he met someone, too,” you said with a shrug.

“Well, he’ll never find one like you.”

“Hopefully he’ll find better.” Bill scoffed and put his hand on your arm.

“Don’t beat yourself up. No one talks about it anymore. You made the right call. You told him the truth and did what was best for you both.”

“Mind telling my parents that?” Bill laughed.

“Still haven’t forgiven you yet?”

“I don’t think they ever will, to tell you the truth.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. And if they’re giving you such a hard time, why don’t you just go back to that guy you met?” You looked over at him with a confused smile.

“You really don’t know?”

“Jesus, know what?”

“Know who I’m talking about.” Bill shook his head and you laughed. “Maybe he isn’t back.”

“Who?” You let out a breath.

“Babe, Bill. I fell in love with the idiot replacement you had to take under your wing.” His features changed from surprised to angry to joyous and back to surprised.

“He never said anything to me.” You smiled. “Although, he did seem like he was holding something back when he got home. He wasn’t the same but no one is. Why don’t you go to him?”

“I’m afraid I screwed that up.”

“Y/N, come on, I’m sure-”

“No, I did. I told him we had to move on, and I hope he did.” You put money on the bar and smiled at Bill. “I’ll call you.” He raised his glass to you and watched as you walked out of the bar.

Bill called you up three days later and asked if you wanted to meet him for dinner. He even promised that he would pick you up and you could tell your parents it was a date, in the hopes of getting them off your back. You agreed, of course.

You walked down the street together, reminiscing with Bill about the good ol’ days when you first met.. He told you about a woman he was talking to. And just as you got to the bar he asked you how you were doing.

“I’m fine.” Bill beamed as he opened the door and you looked at him in confusion. “What?”

“Y/N?” Inside the bar, someone said your name. Again, it was the accent in the voice that got your attention. Babe sat at the bar, looking back at you with a smile.

“Bill,” you called, waiting for him to come up behind you. He was grinning proudly. “What the hell?” you asked, turning to face him. 

“Just talk to him.”

“You tricked me.”

“Because you wouldn't have come if I told you why I was bringing you here.” He pushed you forward so you were closer to Babe. He looked like he did at the beginning of the war, allbeit more grown up and serious.

“I’m sorry Bill dragged you into this,” you said. 

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” He smiled at you and you felt the familiar butterflies. “Can I get you a drink?”

“God, yes.” You took a seat by him and when the beer came sliding your way you took a long swig of it. 

“How’ve you been, Y/N?” Babe asked, biting his lip. You looked at him knowingly and shrugged.

“How are you?”

“Good.”

“When did you get home?”

“A few months ago.” You looked at him and he smiled sympathetically. “I heard.”

“Who didn’t?” He looked down at his glass, sighing. “I told him.”

“Good,” Babe said, nodding his head. You settled into an uncomfortable silence, each staring at their glass.

“Hey, Babe, Y/N!” You both turned and saw Bill standing across the bar, right next to the dartboard. You shook your head but stood, Babe following close behind.

“You’re relentless,” you said once you reached Bill. He handed you the darts with a smirk.

“You still as good as you were?” he asked, making his way back towards the bar. Babe tried to say something to him, but he shook his head.

“You guys play.” You rolled your eyes and took aim, hitting all your marks.

“Not bad,” Babe said, walking up to grab the darts. You smiled and tried to hide it behind your mug.

“Think you can do better?” you asked with a smirk. Babe cocked his head and straightened himself next to you.

“I think I might.” You waved your hand and watched him aim, hitting his marks as well.

“Not bad.” 

“Wanna bet?” Babe asked once you brought the darts back.

“Sure I won’t corrupt you?” Babe laughed and scrunched up his nose.

“Nah, I’m sure I’ll be fine. What else can you do?” You frowned a little and he took the darts from you, holding your hands for a moment too long. “Call it.”

“Seven.”

“What’s the bet?”

“How about another drink?” Babe nodded and hit his mark. You put your hands up and shrugged, making Babe laugh. He gave you the darts back and you looked at him. “Call it.”

“Nine.” He paused and you looked back at him.

“What’s the bet?”

“Miss and you’ll go on a date with me.” You had turned back to the dart board, ready to aim, but stopped. He was smiling shyly. 

“Fine.” You threw the dart and it landed right outside the bull’s eye, on fifteen. When you faced him again, you saw Bill smiling at you in the background.

“Well, Y/N,” Babe said, walking towards you, “Looks like you owe me a date.”

“Looks like I do,” you said, looking up at him. He smiled and you shook your head.

“What?”

“I can’t believe you don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Y/N. I never did and I don’t think I ever will.”

“I left you.”

“Well, you’re back now,” he said, tucking your hair behind your ears. “So, I’m gonna tell you what I should have told you when you walked in. I asked Bill to bring you here.”

“You did?”

“Yes, because there’s something I need to tell you. I should have told you back in Hagenau.” You raised an eyebrow as he leaned in closer so that your noses were practically touching. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you said, letting him close the gap between you in a bone crushing hug as he kissed you more passionately than he had any other time before.

#babe heffron #babe heffron imagine #babe heffron fanfic #babe heffron oneshot #babe heffron fanfiction #babe heffron x reader #band of brothers #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers oneshot #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers fanfiction #hbo war

[ifleewroteotome]

#5 - Royal Pains

FULL AND TOTAL PREFACE that I do not support relationships between employees and employers there is a squicky power imbalance that complicates consent but this is fiction k? K.

THE SETTING

OKAY SO. FICTIONAL DEMOCRATIC CONSTITUTIONAL MONARCHY with all gender lines of inheritance because it’s not a stupid fictional country. Royalty are basically figureheads – they have power but it’s in terms of public eye and influence not actual legislative power. MC is related to the reigning monarchs but like #10 in succession – close enough that she gets a lot of unwanted attention, not close enough that it’s likely she’ll ever sit on the throne. (Duchess? Marchioness? Countess? Just straight up princess?) One of her parents was a non-royal (which was a Big Deal) heir/ess-turned-actor/actress who was tremendously wealthy so she has a lot of independent wealth, but doesn’t like to use it on herself. Works an Actual Real Job in the midst of various royal receptions and appearances and ribbon cuttings.

THE PLOT

Heroine is the only one living in the family castle/manor and since it’s just her like, why bother with all the silly trappings and pomp/circumstance? But unbeknownst to her, her fiancé got engaged to her hoping to just live a lavish lifestyle, and when he realizes this isn’t going to happen, he hires a ragtag group of thieves to rob the castle in the middle of a charity gala hosted in the castle gardens BUT MC CATCHES THEM, dumps her fiance’s sorry tush, and berates the thieves like omg do you need jobs THAT badly that you’ve resorted to theft? Fine, why don’t you just live here until you’re back on your feet – as long as you do your fair share of chores it’s not like that wing is being used anyway.

THE HEROINE:

MC: RABID BUNNY. Very proper, elegant, diplomatic, sweet—on the outside. Inside she has just a fantastically vicious mental commentary running 24/7. She IS pretty elegant but mostly out of habit. Actually 100% tough as nails and Determined to Make a Difference. If she is involved in a charity function it isn’t for pics, people. Runs herself ragged between day job and royal obligations but always snaps herself into perfectly poised as soon as someone is so much as breathing in her direction. Independently extremely wealthy thanks to non-royal parent, but incredibly frugal (maybe even tightfisted) about own expenses because it seems wrong to spend it when all those charities need it more and stuff – but she will do her research and make sure they use it appropriately. Veteran like rest of fam. IDK what her ‘day’ job is yet. Large animal emergency Veterinarian (princess prevents pig pandemonium with plague prevention best practices!)? Accountant? Researcher? Honestly just wants to be a mechanic but it doesn’t fit the IMAGE you know? Does Not Have Time For This Nonsense, Please. Will do anything for her country and her family, even if it means not being her authentic self. People depend on her, you know? And there are perks - like cupcake store grand openings.

NON LOVE INTERESTS / SUPPORTING CAST

OLDER BROTHER: Brilliant, charming, beautiful jerk. Except not really, it’s just easier. Has to work very, very hard to not let the pressure of EXPECTATIONS get to him. Very caught up in appearances. THAT SAID - got the non-royal parent’s acting genes, and would love to be an actor, but gets his kick out of acting like someone he’s not. Most likely of the sibs to crack open a beer and eat pizza when it’s just them. (Other bro would rather have some random not readily available dish that’s a specialty of whatever small mountain region he just visited, MC is strict about health food, little sis would join him she just wouldn’t START it) also the first to talk about DUTY and OBLIGATIONS until other sibs throw stuff at him.  Stupidly in love with longterm partner so maybe sibs harass him about getting married when he starts stalking about obligations to them?

TWIN BROTHER: LAZY CAT, except when MC really, really needs him then he’s suddenly around. According to the public, he doesn’t have a ‘real’ job, just lays around looking pretty on boats. Does this fairly intentionally so the press focuses more on him than the other sibs – because what does he care? Actually a romance novelist and not at ALL above using his sister’s experiences as plot fodder. This leads to him giving occasionally questionable romantic advice. Travels a lot to random corners of the earth and occasionally. HORRIBLE PHOTOGRAPHER so big brother calls this a waste. ALSO probably a ‘Dear Abby’ advice columnist.

LITTLE SISTER: Circumspect, but dry-witted and prone to sarcasm when it’s just family or people can’t hear her muttering under her breath. Quiet, mostly as a result of being kind of a prop for most of her life and LOUDER older siblings– but she’s always thinking. Patient. Was always kind of a smartass. Taking every day one at a time. Was a combat medic in the country’s armed forces and is living with PTSD. Maybe working in a florist shop? I just like flowers okay. Happiest out of the spotlight and always has been. Trying to relearn things.

GRANDPARENTS: THE ROYALS. CRAZY IN THE BEST WAY.

THE LOVE INTERESTS

“TITLE” representing the chore they do in exchange for room & board and (title) representing their role in the would-be heist

“COOK” (the distraction/lookout): SWORE UP AND DOWN to MC that they were a gourmet chef so that she’d let them stay but can really only manage a basic grilled cheese sandwich – which, luckily for them, MC loves. Plus as long as she doesn’t have to make it, it’s a win. Student? Maybe? Also probably has had a crush on MC forever (maybe she volunteered at a charity event that benefited someone in their family) and all along was going to derail the heist because too much respect for MC to let it happen when they could stop it, even though it could be dangerous. Nurturing? Just wants to take care of people?

“CHAUFFEUR” (the getaway driver): THE GETAWAY DRIVER. Reckless wild child? Can’t stay still to save their life. Shameless Baby Driver rip off don’t you judge me – always drumming fingers and finding rhythms. Doesn’t talk much so you think they’re probably solemn and quiet but they’re definitely mischievous as all get out, just sneaky about it. Sees the world in color and sound and vibration, frequency of their inner pulse’s just a little off from everyone else’s. Slippery, because they have to keep moving, which includes their thoughts. Never stays stuck on anything for long.

“SECURITY” (logistics/the hacker): IT person who hacked into the (admittedly out of date) security in the first place. Rebel without a cause. Terrible diet. Keeps horrible hours. Little wild (not as wild as chauffeur), lives on the edge, also a huge nerd. Gets gleefully excited about technology, will spend actual hours fiddling and building robots and forget to stand up so their legs don’t work right when they do. Loves nature and takes inspiration from the mathematical patterns in it. Talks really fast or not at all.

“HOUSEKEEPER” (undercover paparazzi – hired muscle): Was really in this to get the inside scoop on some royals and make a few bucks. Completely jaded jerk. Wanted to be a global photojournalist but realized people just wanted pretty beaches and sunsets and didn’t actually care about people and their suffering unless it won them awards, and does it matter with social media everywhere. Probably tells MC he/she is a wedding photographer. Doesn’t like things to be ‘picture perfect’ so cleans but there’s always something left undone. Sarcastic grouch. Probably pairs up with lazy bro at end of route to get back to documenting alongside lazy bro’s travels.

“BUTLER/LADY’S MAID” (the mastermind) – was reluctant to take this job because ex-fiance is a dingbat, but did it anyway for IDK personal reasons. Not really all that bummed that it didn’t work out. If they work for MC they get into even more royal events and can learn the ins and outs of places, their habits and patterns. Thinks MC is way too uptight, gets a kick out of teasing her. Laidback, hard to ruffle, confident, all the things you expect a mastermind to be. Really good memory for physical spaces. Totally clueless when it doesn’t interest them though, maybe?

“GROUNDSKEEPER/GARDENER” (hired muscle/fencer) – IDK more to come CHILDHOOD FRIEND MAYBE gotta have that

#otome plot #otome idea #otome #otome overview #plot summary #plot idea #overview #summary #5 #Royal pains

[yoolee]

If lee wrote otome | #4 - Royal Pains

FULL AND TOTAL PREFACE that I do not support relationships between employees and employers there is a squicky power imbalance that complicates consent but this is fiction k? K.

THE SETTING

OKAY SO. FICTIONAL DEMOCRATIC CONSTITUTIONAL MONARCHY with all gender lines of inheritance because it’s not a stupid fictional country. Royalty are basically figureheads – they have power but it’s in terms of public eye and influence not actual legislative power. MC is related to the reigning monarchs but like #10 in succession – close enough that she gets a lot of unwanted attention, not close enough that it’s likely she’ll ever sit on the throne. (Duchess? Marchioness? Countess? Just straight up princess?) One of her parents was a non-royal (which was a Big Deal) heir/ess-turned-actor/actress who was tremendously wealthy so she has a lot of independent wealth, but doesn’t like to use it on herself. Works an Actual Real Job in the midst of various royal receptions and appearances and ribbon cuttings.

THE PLOT

Heroine is the only one living in the family castle/manor and since it’s just her like, why bother with all the silly trappings and pomp/circumstance? But unbeknownst to her, her fiancé got engaged to her hoping to just live a lavish lifestyle, and when he realizes this isn’t going to happen, he hires a ragtag group of thieves to rob the castle in the middle of a charity gala hosted in the castle gardens BUT MC CATCHES THEM, dumps her fiance’s sorry tush, and berates the thieves like omg do you need jobs THAT badly that you’ve resorted to theft? Fine, why don’t you just live here until you’re back on your feet – as long as you do your fair share of chores it’s not like that wing is being used anyway.

THE HEROINE:

MC: RABID BUNNY. Very proper, elegant, diplomatic, sweet—on the outside. Inside she has just a fantastically vicious mental commentary running 24/7. She IS pretty elegant but mostly out of habit. Actually 100% tough as nails and Determined to Make a Difference. If she is involved in a charity function it isn’t for pics, people. Runs herself ragged between day job and royal obligations but always snaps herself into perfectly poised as soon as someone is so much as breathing in her direction. Independently extremely wealthy thanks to non-royal parent, but incredibly frugal (maybe even tightfisted) about own expenses because it seems wrong to spend it when all those charities need it more and stuff – but she will do her research and make sure they use it appropriately. Veteran like rest of fam. IDK what her ‘day’ job is yet. Large animal emergency Veterinarian (princess prevents pig pandemonium with plague prevention best practices!)? Accountant? Researcher? Honestly just wants to be a mechanic but it doesn’t fit the IMAGE you know? Does Not Have Time For This Nonsense, Please. Will do anything for her country and her family, even if it means not being her authentic self. People depend on her, you know? And there are perks - like cupcake store grand openings.

NON LOVE INTERESTS / SUPPORTING CAST

OLDER BROTHER: Brilliant, charming, beautiful jerk. Except not really, it’s just easier. Has to work very, very hard to not let the pressure of EXPECTATIONS get to him. Very caught up in appearances. THAT SAID - got the non-royal parent’s acting genes, and would love to be an actor, but gets his kick out of acting like someone he’s not. Most likely of the sibs to crack open a beer and eat pizza when it’s just them. (Other bro would rather have some random not readily available dish that’s a specialty of whatever small mountain region he just visited, MC is strict about health food, little sis would join him she just wouldn’t START it) also the first to talk about DUTY and OBLIGATIONS until other sibs throw stuff at him.  Stupidly in love with longterm partner so maybe sibs harass him about getting married when he starts stalking about obligations to them?

TWIN BROTHER: LAZY CAT, except when MC really, really needs him then he’s suddenly around. According to the public, he doesn’t have a ‘real’ job, just lays around looking pretty on boats. Does this fairly intentionally so the press focuses more on him than the other sibs – because what does he care? Actually a romance novelist and not at ALL above using his sister’s experiences as plot fodder. This leads to him giving occasionally questionable romantic advice. Travels a lot to random corners of the earth and occasionally. HORRIBLE PHOTOGRAPHER so big brother calls this a waste. ALSO probably a ‘Dear Abby’ advice columnist.

LITTLE SISTER: Circumspect, but dry-witted and prone to sarcasm when it’s just family or people can’t hear her muttering under her breath. Quiet, mostly as a result of being kind of a prop for most of her life and LOUDER older siblings– but she’s always thinking. Patient. Was always kind of a smartass. Taking every day one at a time. Was a combat medic in the country’s armed forces and is living with PTSD. Maybe working in a florist shop? I just like flowers okay. Happiest out of the spotlight and always has been. Trying to relearn things.

GRANDPARENTS: THE ROYALS. CRAZY IN THE BEST WAY.

THE LOVE INTERESTS 

“TITLE” representing the chore they do in exchange for room & board and (title) representing their role in the would-be heist

“COOK” (the distraction/lookout): SWORE UP AND DOWN to MC that they were a gourmet chef so that she’d let them stay but can really only manage a basic grilled cheese sandwich – which, luckily for them, MC loves. Plus as long as she doesn’t have to make it, it’s a win. Student? Maybe? Also probably has had a crush on MC forever (maybe she volunteered at a charity event that benefited someone in their family) and all along was going to derail the heist because too much respect for MC to let it happen when they could stop it, even though it could be dangerous. Nurturing? Just wants to take care of people?

“CHAUFFEUR” (the getaway driver): THE GETAWAY DRIVER. Reckless wild child? Can’t stay still to save their life. Shameless Baby Driver rip off don’t you judge me – always drumming fingers and finding rhythms. Doesn’t talk much so you think they’re probably solemn and quiet but they’re definitely mischievous as all get out, just sneaky about it. Sees the world in color and sound and vibration, frequency of their inner pulse’s just a little off from everyone else’s. Slippery, because they have to keep moving, which includes their thoughts. Never stays stuck on anything for long.

“SECURITY” (logistics/the hacker): IT person who hacked into the (admittedly out of date) security in the first place. Rebel without a cause. Terrible diet. Keeps horrible hours. Little wild (not as wild as chauffeur), lives on the edge, also a huge nerd. Gets gleefully excited about technology, will spend actual hours fiddling and building robots and forget to stand up so their legs don’t work right when they do. Loves nature and takes inspiration from the mathematical patterns in it. Talks really fast or not at all.

“HOUSEKEEPER” (undercover paparazzi – hired muscle): Was really in this to get the inside scoop on some royals and make a few bucks. Completely jaded jerk. Wanted to be a global photojournalist but realized people just wanted pretty beaches and sunsets and didn’t actually care about people and their suffering unless it won them awards, and does it matter with social media everywhere. Probably tells MC he/she is a wedding photographer. Doesn’t like things to be ‘picture perfect’ so cleans but there’s always something left undone. Sarcastic grouch. Probably pairs up with lazy bro at end of route to get back to documenting alongside lazy bro’s travels.

“BUTLER/LADY’S MAID” (the mastermind) – was reluctant to take this job because ex-fiance is a dingbat, but did it anyway for IDK personal reasons. Not really all that bummed that it didn’t work out. If they work for MC they get into even more royal events and can learn the ins and outs of places, their habits and patterns. Thinks MC is way too uptight, gets a kick out of teasing her. Laidback, hard to ruffle, confident, all the things you expect a mastermind to be. Really good memory for physical spaces. Totally clueless when it doesn’t interest them though, maybe?

“GROUNDSKEEPER/GARDENER” (hired muscle/fencer) – IDK more to come CHILDHOOD FRIEND MAYBE gotta have that

See the rest here

#if lee wrote otome

[itsworn]

Smokey Stories: Bobby Johns and George Hurst

Smokey explains his colorful relationships with Bobby Johns and George Hurst

I was fortunate to have known George Hurst, having met him in the mid-60s while on the staff of Hot Rod magazine.  He was intelligent, very market savvy and willing to step out of the proverbial box to sell high performance aftermarket products.  Perhaps best known for his shifters and motor mounts for engine swaps, he traveled the country promoting his wares, not the least of which were his creation and use of the Hurst “Golden Shifter” girls, the most notable of whom was probably Linda Vaughn.

Truth be known, George had a passion for the ladies, particularly of the variety who hung out around the Indy speedway during the month of May, every year.  What was unfortunate, however, was that virtually the peak of his career, some personal issues drove him to take his own life.  But ahead of that circumstance, he was most visible and contributory in the high performance and racing industries.  His involvement with Smokey was certainly a high point.

But before we dig into that relationship and its various aspects, we need to close the chapter on the capsule car.  It was an interesting demise, certainly from the standpoint of circumstances surrounding the ’64 Indy 500.

“The capsule car was like the Pied Piper, judging by the number of people that followed it every time came out the garage.”  One of the more interested parties was Tony Hulman, owner of the Speedway at the time.  Not a bad advocate to have on your side when questionable issues arose, which they often did.  “The inspectors were very critical but also very fair.  For the first three or four days it was touch and go whether the little car was going to have a chance to run.  The two main problems were the quick removable steering wheel and the capsule fastening.  The car had a rectangular steering wheel to give knee and knuckle clearance.  It also had a collar-locking device that secured it.”

But one of the more problematic issues focused on the requirement that everything had to be safety wired.  This is not to say that Smokey wasn’t able to complete all the necessary pre-safety wiring steps, but at this juncture the problem related to the amount of available time to get this and all the other pre-race preparations concluded.

“They wanted everything safety wired.  Well, then the driver couldn’t leave quick unless he had a pair of side-cutters.  Also, this being Indy’s first removable steering wheel car was the real problem.  They were afraid the locking device could come loose.  Finally, I unscrewed the total locking deal and put it in Don Cummins pocket (the head inspector) and said, ‘If you and your buddies can get the wheel off in ten minutes, I’ll take the car home.’  Well, they couldn’t do it.  Then I did the same thing with the capsule fasteners.  I removed five attachment bolts, put ’em in Don’s pocket and again gave the ten minute challenge.  I won again.  I think I made some friends with some of the inspectors that day and finally got the sticker (permission to run the race).”

All the while this was transpiring, there was an issue brewing with Smokey’s driver, Bobby Johns.  Johns, because of his somewhat diminutive size was a good fit for the limited-space capsule.  However, he was virtually unfamiliar with any version of Indy-type race car and, as a result, a bit vulnerable to any negative thoughts that might come into his mind about safety and on-track performance abilities.

“The Rathman brothers knew Bobby Johns and proceeded to brainwash him into believing the capsule car was a death trap.  (Recall that there was no love lost between the Rathmans and Smokey.)  I saw their act.  They were effective because Bobby used them as a sounding board for advice and explanations.  Bobby could ride comfortably about two miles per hour short of qualifying speed.  With five days to go I had to tell him ‘It’s time to do it or get back behind the concrete wall with me.’  My buddy Mauri Rose was trying to heal the damage the Rathmans were causing.  You gotta remember that Bobby never sat in an Indy car with the engine running before May 1, 1964.  Well, he starts running ’bout one good lap out of five.  I decide he needs more laps.  We will go to the second weekend.”

“Remember I said that if you don’t do it (qualify) the first weekend you’re a candidate for 100 ways to miss the race.  Well, in addition to everything else, Bobby can’t tell me what the car is doing ‘cept ‘it feels spooky.’  What does spooky mean?  Loose?  Pushing?  Both?  Where?  I never studied Halloween or ghosts, so spooky to me is like a 24-letter word.  I didn’t know what it meant.  So I try guessing.  I finally find out it needs a rear sway bar.  I’ve got one, just never tried it.  But then the weather goes bad.  We don’t get much lap time.”

“Suddenly it’s Sunday of the second weekend and it’s now or never.  He’s been plenty fast but very inconsistent.  I’m sure the car is twitchy, (meaning unstable) but the asshole Rathman has got him so confused we gotta guess what’s wrong.  That never worked worth a crap.  We do have a problem that I understand.  The rear brakes are very hard to work on, they are too small for the application.  Problem is this is pretty much a rear-engine car.  Another problem is that with sintered iron linings, they need warming up (to work properly).”

Yet another problem is that Smokey is out of time to do anything else but take a shot at qualifying.  “Qualifying comes and it’s 2:00 p.m. Sunday, the last day to do it.  I’ve got four hours left.  The first warm up lap is good enough.  For the second lap I’m where the chiefs (mechanics) stand, signal and time.  (Remember this was before radio communications between crews and drivers.)

“I guess he got too deep into turn one.  He hit the ‘whoa-crap’ and the brakes were erratic.  That backed ‘er into the wall.  The damage was not too bad, but the ass-end of the car is all the oil tank and oil cooler, all custom-made crap.  Bobby’s not hurt but Indy 1964 just went to crapsville.  That deal is an example of how fast life can change.  And you know really nothing terrible happened.  No red stuff spilled.  It was a twenty-grand mental crash.”

Then there was the George Hurst saga, while events had been transpiring up to the demise of the capsule car just described.  “I don’t think the capsule car episode can be closed without a brief description of the performance George Hurst our sponsor put on.  Let me explain.”

“George was a neighbor of mine in Daytona.  I believe he was married to a nice German lady.  In 1964, the Hurst gearshift company was about the number one racecar aftermaketer in the United States.  George was a nice guy, hard worker but born with about forty-percent tomcat genes.  Just before we had left for Indy, George gets me to one side and says, ‘I won’t be able to get to Indy much because of all my business commitments, but when I do come to visit, see of you can find a nice lady who will help with my phobia ’bout being in a locked room by myself.’

“Just what I needed.  Besides presiding over the birth of the capsule car, Bobby Johns’ rookie tribulations, I gotta find women for George.  So ’bout the fourth day at Indy I meet a lady who is an ex-beauty queen and is doing odds and ends for Goodyear.  She comes by to compliment me on the goofy capsule car.  I say ‘I have a job in mind for you but I need to interview you in a less public place.  I have a room for the month at the Mayfair Motel so we jump in the car.  An hour later I stagger out of the room, leaving her there.  At 2:00 p.m., the phone rings.  ‘Hi, I’m at the airport.  Can someone pick me up?’  I go back to the room and say, ‘You are now George Hurst’s personal secretary, 100 bucks a day till June first, with a $200 clothing allowance.  Take me back to the garage and pick up George at the airport.”

Then as it turned out, “I never saw Hurst, and never saw the lady again until May 20th.  They stayed in that room for 24 hours a day for 14 days.  Even so, George was a good man who somehow got all screwed up.  I really never knew the story but sadly just know how it ended.”

Next month we’ll take a look at how Smokey began winding down his Indy experiences and what lay ahead for his energies and creative talents.

The post Smokey Stories: Bobby Johns and George Hurst appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

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