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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

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There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.

I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.

This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.

I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…

I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.

As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.

So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.

Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.

Okay, that said, I can start.

Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”

Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.

Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.

Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.

June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.

On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.

On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.

Going forward, in November we have:

- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).

-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.

- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.

- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]

- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.

- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.

- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.

- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.

- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)

- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).

- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.

- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.

- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).

- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]

Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.

On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.

On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.

Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).

Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.

On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.

Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.

Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.

Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).

Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.

Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.

Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.

Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.

And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.

Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?

Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.

This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.

I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.

And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)

Guys, come on…

Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.

I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.

And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?

Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?

The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.

Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.

Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.

And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?

This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.

Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.

I leave you with these two pearls:

Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.

Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.

Enjoy:

*on the phone*

Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”

Sam Smith: “………okay?”

Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”

Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”

Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*

Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”

Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”

Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.

Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”

Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”

Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”

Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”

Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:

Lauren:

Sinu from the kitchen:

Cleo who was nibbling her toy:

Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:

*the end*

Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’

____

OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.

#submission #laucy timeline #amazing #thanks you buddy #camren #f anon

400 notes · View notes

princelymlm · 5 years

Text

Gotta Be LGBT+

This is a list of just some of the LGBT+ content out there. Anything on this list was contains LGBT+ characters or was made by LGBT+ creators. All entries on this list were sent in by followers and have not been confirmed by the mod. (Entries with ‘rep not given’ next to them mean that the suggestion did not include what kind of representation is in the content)

Put everything under the cut since this list started getting really long

Books/Comics

They Both Die At The End - Adam Silvera (mlm)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire-Saénz (mlm)

Symptoms of Being Human (genderfluid)

Lily and Dunkin - Donna Gephart (trans/trans woman)

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid (wlw/bi)

The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice and Virtue - Mackenzie Lee (mlm/gay/bi)

Been Here All Along - Sandy Hall (gay/bi)

History Is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera (mlm/gay)

Blue Is The Warmest Color - Julie Maroh (wlw/bi/lesbian)

Mask of Shadows - Linsey Miller (bi/genderfluid)

Once and Future - Cori McCarthy (wlw/mlm/gay/bi/nonbinary)

Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda - Beck Albertalli (mlm/gay)

Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli (wlw/bi)

Grasshopper Jungle - Andrew Smith (questioning/mlm)

The Rest of Us Just Live Here - Patrick Ness (mlm/gay)

Flying Tips For Flightless Birds - Kelly McCaughrain (mlm/gay)

I’ll Give You The Sun - Jandy Nelson (mlm)

Point Pleasant - Jen Archer Wood (mlm)

True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - Gerard Way (mlm/wlw)

The Wayfarers Series - Becky Chambers (wlw/aro/trans man/nonbinary/genderfluid)

Vesuvius Club - Mark Gatiss (bi)

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller (mlm)

Radio Silence - Alice Oseman (bi/mlm/demi/gay/pan/wlw/lesbian)

Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst (wlw/lesbian)

Magnus Chase Series - Rick Riordan (genderfluid)

Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan (gay)

This Is Kind of An Epic Love Story - Kheyrn Callender (mlm/wlw)

Gracefully Grayson - Ami Polonsky (trans woman)

If I Was Your Girl - Meredith Russon (trans woman)

Call Me By Your Name - Andre Aciman (mlm)

Red, White, and Royal Blue - Casey McQuinston (mlm)

I Wish You All The Best - Mason Deaver (nonbinary)

Dreadnaught + Sovereign - April Daniels (wlw/trans woman)

The Art of Being Normal - Lisa Williamson (trans)

The Gone Series - Michael Grant (mlm/wlw)

One Of Us Is Lying - Karen McManus (mlm)

Six Of Crows - Leigh Bardugo (mlm)

Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo (rep not given)

The Last Sun - Author Not Provided (rep not given)

Romeo and/or Juliet - Ryan North (rep not given)

American Gods - Neil Gaiman (mlm/gay/bi)

The Mage Wars Series - Mercedes Lackey (gay)

Scott Pilgrim vs The World - Bryan Lee O’Malley (mlm/gay/wlw)

Boyfriends With Girlfriends - Alex Sánchez (mlm/wlw/bi/gay)

Will Grayson, Will Grayson - David Levithan & John Green (mlm)

This Is Where It Ends -Marieke Nijkamp (lesbian/wlw)

Carry On - Rainbow Rowell (mlm)

Stranger Than Fanfiction - Chris Colfer (mlm/trans man/gay)

The Reader Trilogy (The Reader, The Speaker, The Storyteller) - Traci Chee (mlm/wlw/nonbinary)

I Was Born For This - Alice Oseman (trans)

Heartstopper - Alice Oseman (mlm)

The Broken Earth Trilogy - MK Jemisin (trans woman/poly/pan/mlm

A Boy Worth Knowing - Jennifer Cosgrove (mlm/bi/gay)

The Rifter - Author Not Provided (mlm)

Snapdragon - Author Not Provided (wlw/ trans woman)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon (wlw/lesbian/mlm/gay)

Tipping the Velvet - Sarah Waters (wlw/lesbian)

Fingersmith - Sarah Waters (wlw/lesbian)

The Paying Guests - Sarah Waters (wlw/lesbian)

I Am J - Cris Beam (trans man)

Little And Lion - Brandy Colbert (bi)

Autoboyography - Christina Lauren (bi)

Felix Ever After - Kacen Callender (trans)

Birthday - Meredith Russo (trans)

Stay Gold - Tobly McSmith (trans)

You Should See Me In A Crown - Leah Johnson (lesbian)

Girls of Paper and Fire - Natasha Ngan (lesbian)

The Henna Wars - Adiba Jaigirdar (lesbian)

Let's Talk About Love - Claire Kann (ace)

The Lady's Guide To Petticoats and Piracy - Mackenzi Lee (ace/aro)

The Vanishers' Place - Aliette De Bodard (wlw)

Ash - Malinda Lo (wlw/bi)

The Little Homo Sapiens Scientist - S. L. Huang (wlw)

Everfair - Nisi Shawl (wlw)

Dread Nation: Risse Up - Justina Ireland (wlw/bi/ace)

The Gilda Stories - Jewelle Gomez (wlw/lesbian)

The True Queen - Zen Cho (wlw)

The Devourers - Indra Das (genderfluid/bi)

We Set The Dark On Fire - Tehlor Kay Mejia (wlw)

Smoketown - Tenea D. Johnson (wlw/lesbian)

Falling In Love With Hominids - Nalo Hopkinson (wlw)

The Fox’s Tower and Other Tales - Yoon Ha Lee (nonbinary)

Her Body and Other Parties - Carmen Maria Machado (wlw)

Beneath the Citadel - Destiny Soria (mlm/gay/bi/ace)

Witchmark - C.L Polk (mlm/gay)

The Prey of Gods - Nicky Drayden (trans/bi)

An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon (wlw/trans/nonbinary/intersex)

The Root - Na’amen Gobert Tilahun (mlm/gay)

Gods & Monsters: Snake Eyes - Hillary Monohan (wlw)

Labyrinth Lost - Zoraida Cordova (wlw/bi)

The Winged Histories - Sofia Samatar (wlw)

The Weight of Stars - K. Ancrum (wlw)

Huntress - Malinda Lo (wlw)

Will Do Magic For Small Change - Andrea Hairston (bi/pan/nonbinary)

The Last Chronomancer - Reilyn J Hardy (aro/ace/genderfluid/lesbian)

A Taste of Honey - Kai Ashante Wilson (mlm/bi)

Deadline - Stephanie Ahn (wlw/lesbian)

The Read Threads of Fortune - JY Yang (wlw/bi)

Not Your Sidekick - C.B. Lee (wlw/bi)

Timekeeper - Tara Sim (mlm)

Ascension - Jacqueline Koyangi (wlw)

When The Moon Was Ours - Anna-Marie McLemore (trans)

Amberlough - Lara Elena Donnelly (mlm/gay)

The Perfect Assassin - K.A Doore (gay/ace/mlm)

Afterparty - Daryl Gregory (wlw/lesbian)

Borderline - Mishell Baker (wlw/bi)

The Cloud Roads - Martha Wells (bi)

An Accident of Stars - Foz Meadows (wlw/bi/aro/trans)

The Last 8 - Laura Pohl (aro/bi)

Failure to Communicate - Kaia Sonderby (wlw/bi)

The Luminous Dead - Caitlin Starling (wlw)

The Wrong Stars - Tim Pratt (wlw)

Full Fathom Five - Max Gladstone (trans)

A Memory Called Empire - Arkady Martine (wlw)

Silver In the Wood - Emily Tesh (mlm)

The Raven Tower - Ann Leckie (mlm/bi/trans)

Ariah - B.R. Sanders (mlm/bi/nonbinary)

The Raven and the Reindeer - T. Kingfisher (wlw)

Planetfall - Emma Newman (bi)

Black Wings Beating - Alex London (ace/gay/mlm)

The Scorpion Rule - Erin Bow (bi)

Inkmistress - Audrey Coulthurst (bi)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant (wlw/bi/lesbian)

Vengeful - V.E Schwab (ace)

Blackfish City - Sam J Miller (nonbinary)

Daughter of Mystery - Heather Rose Jones (wlw/lesbian)

Stranger Grace - Tessa Gratton (bi/pan)

The Brilliant Death - Amy Rose Capetta (nonbinary)

Chameleon Moon - RoAnna Sylver (wlw/trans/ace)

19 Love Stories - David Levithan (trans/queer)

It’s Not Like It’s A Secret - Author Not Given (wlw)

Picture Us In The Light - Author Not Given (mlm)

Two Can Keep A Secret - Author Not Given (mlm/bi)

Death Sets Sail - Author Not Given (wlw)

Becoming Dinah - Author Not Given (rep not provided)

Witch Wolf series - Winter Pennington (wlw, lesbian, bisexual)

Underrealm series - Garrett Robinson (wlw, mlm, nonbinary, trans man trans woman, trans, pansexual, bisexual)

A Cloak of Red - Brenna Gawain (wlw, lesbian)

Blood Canticles - Naomi Clark (wlw)

Podcasts

Welcome to Night Vale (mlm/gay/wlw/nonbinary)

Dreamboy (mlm/gay)

Alice Isn’t Dead (wlw/lesbian)

The Penumbra Podcast (mlm/bi/genderfluid/nonbinary)

My Favorite Podcast (trans men)

Within the Wires (wlw)

The Adventure Zone (mlm/wlw/trans/gnc/nonbinary)

Limetown (wlw/lesbian)

Getting Curious With Jonathan Van Ness (nblm/nonbinary)

Friends at the Table (mlm/wlw/nonbinary)

LezHangOut (wlw)

Bright Sessions (mlm/demi/ace)

Queer As Fact (historical lgbt)

History Is Gay (historical lgbt)

Always Here (historical lgbt)

And That’s Why We Drink (nonbinary)

Magnus Archives (mlm/ace)

The Two Princes (mlm/gay/bi)

Girl-ish (trans women)

The Bright Sessions (gay/ace)

TV Shows/Movies/ETC

One Day At A Time (Remake) (wlw/lesbian/nonbinary)

Love, Simon (mlm/gay)

A Single Man (mlm/gay)

Brokeback Mountain (mlm/gay)

In The Flesh (mlm/gay)

Weekend (mlm)

RWBY (wlw/trans)

Jessica Jones (wlw/lesbian)

Critical Role (mlm/gay/bi/wlw/lesbian/nonbinary/genderfluid)

Pose (trans women/gay)

Schitt’s Creek (pan/mlm)

White Collar (wlw)

Lucifer (bi)

Umbrella Academy (mlm/wlw)

Call Me By Your Name (mlm)

Brooklyn Nine Nine (mlm/gay/bi)

Steven Universe (nonbinary)

Sailor Moon (wlw)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (wlw)

Sense8 (mlm/gay/wlw/lesbian/trans woman)

Doom Patrol (?/rep not given)

Good Omens (nonbinary)

Gentleman Jack (wlw)

American Gods (mlm/gay/bi/two-spirit)

Orange Is The New Black (wlw/trans)

Blue Is The Warmest Color (wlw)

Shameless (mlm/trans)

Euphoria (wlw/trans woman)

Modern Family (mlm/gay)

Daisy Brown ARG (wlw/lesbian)

Deadpool (pan)

Deadpool 2 (pan/wlw)

Alex Strangelove (mlm/gay)

Wynonna Earp (lesbian/gay/wlw)

She-Ra (wlw/mlm/gay/bi/lesbian/nonbinary/trans man)

SKAM (rep not provided)

Gotham (bi)

The Haunting of Hill House (wlw)

The Haunting of Bly Manor (wlw)

Kipo and the Wonderbeasts (mlm/gay/nonbinary)

Billie and Emma (wlw)

Carmen & Lola (wlw)

Carol (wlw)

Disobedience (wlw)

Elisa & Marcela (wlw)

Good Manners (wlw)

The Handmaiden (wlw)

Heart Beat Loud (wlw)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (wlw)

Rafiki (wlw)

Stranger Things (wlw)

Handsome Devil (mlm)

Pride (wlw/mlm)

Musicals

The Prom (wlw/lesbian)

Be More Chill (mlm/bi)

Fun Home (wlw)

Spring Awakening (mlm)

A New Brain (mlm)

Falsettos (mlm/wlw)

Rent (mlm/wlw)

Firebringer (wlw/bi)

A Very Potter Musical (mlm/gay)

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals (wlw)

Bare: A Pop Opera (mlm)

Everybody’s Talking About Jaime (mlm/gay)

Yank! The Musical (mlm)

Octet (wlw)

Ghost Quartet (wlw)

Spies Are Forever (mlm/gay)

Willow: A New Musical (wlw)

Over And Out: A New Musical (nblw/nonbinary)

Video Games

Fallout: New Vegas (mlm/gay/wlw/lesbian)

When The Night Comes (mlm/nonbinary)

The Arcana (nonbinary)

Dream Daddy (mlm/gay/bi/pan/trans)

Dragon Age (mlm/wlw/gay/lesbian/trans/pan/bi)

Smile For Me (wlw)

Undertale (trans/nonbinary/wlw/mlm)

Monster Prom (nonbinary)

Cookie Run (nonbinary/mlm/wlw/bi/pan)

The Missing (wlw/trans woman)

Fable 2 & 3 (wlw/mlm)

Borderlands 2 (mlm/wlw/bi/gay/lesbian)

Gone Home (wlw)

Prey (wlw)

Dishonored 2 (nonbinary/wlw)

Deus Ex Mankind Divided System Rift (rep not given)

Assassins Creed Series (mlm/wlw/gay/lesbian/trans)

The Last of Us (wlw/lesbian)

Mass Effect Series (mlm/wlw/gay/lesbian/bi)

Life Is Strange (wlw)

Overwatch (mlm/gay/wlw/lesbian)

Animal Crossing (pan)

Night In The Woods (pan/mlm/trans woman)

The Elder Scrolls (trans/wlw/lesbian)

Dreamfall Chapters (mlm/gay)

Dishonored: Death of the Outsider (wlw)

In the Outer Worlds (wlw/ace)

Elder Scrolls: Skyrim (mlm/wlw)

Fallout 4 (wlw/mlm)

Hades (mlm/bi)

Obviously this list is far from complete so feel free to add to it or let me know of anything else and I’ll edit the post to add it as long as you include the category it belongs to! Be sure to include what representation it has though otherwise I can’t add it!

#lgbt #mlm #wlw #bi #gay #lesbian #trans #nb #nblm #nblnb #nblw #lgbt recs

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prentissinred · 3 years

Note

Writing asks! 🙂

#16 (SYL!), #28, #36 (I shamelessly want to know 😌), #44!

16) How did you come up with the idea for SYL?

I wanted to write a story that followed the canon timeline for a while after my first fic. At some point I was re-watching "Lauren" for the 1000th time and wrote out my first paragraph as inspiration, and then the rest came to fill in the gaps!

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

That it's probably best to have more than 1-2 chapters written before you start posting 😂 I was so impatient with SYL that I had a bare outline and maybe 3 chapters written before I posted, and so I've had to write as I go along for most of it! Which works for a lot of people, but I am not the fastest writer, so this is sometimes a challenge :)

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

For SYL, Emily does leave for London...but she eventually makes her way back 😉

44) What is the last line you wrote?

"The bath felt like the appropriate location for her one allotted day of wallowing."

#asks

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lissa · 3 years

Text

rules: answer 30 questions and tag some blogs you want to know better. thanks for tagging me @bringmoreknives!! answers under the cut...

Name/nickname: melissa - known by many both online and IRL as melrose

Gender: female

Star sign: pisces

Height: 5′11″

Time: 5:08 pm PT

Birthday: March 6... soon 😔

Favorite bands: london grammar, snow patrol, st. lucia, mumford & sons, taking back sunday, My cHeMiCaL RomANce... more???

favorite solo artists: carly rae jepsen, beyonce, christine and the queens, sufjan stevens, lady gaga, lorde, harry styles, phoebe bridgers, kim petras, dagny, lauren aquilina.... so many more

Song stuck in my head: girlfriend by christine and the queens

Last film: I’ve barely been watching any movies during the pandemmy but I did watch to all the boys part III - I didn’t love it tbh!

Last show: wandavision!!!! it’s... so good!!!

When I made this blog: 2009 - I’ve deleted everything pre-2014 though and need to delete more 🤭

What I post: let me pull a quote straight from my about page - “This blog is about things that I like” lolololol it’s the truth!!

Last thing I googled: “can I fly if I’m vaccinated” 😭 just wanna go see my parents but idk

Other blogs: oof I have too many... @stevetonypls is my steve/tony sideblog, @jonathantoewss is my hockey sideblog, @anywaystanzuko is my atla sideblog but I will likely delete that one soon I don’t rly use it anymore. I have more but I’ll keep em private.

Do I get asks: VERY rarely these days, but used to get tons during my hockey heyday lmfao... most of my following on here is from hockey fandom. sorry guys lol.

Why I chose my url: I rly do love tony stark 😔

Following: gonna hold off on answering this one bc my favorite feature of this website is that following/follower numbers are private!!!

Followers: see above ^

Average hours of sleep: ugh... I just started having to work late again so my sleep schedule is fucked. like maybe 6 or 7.

Lucky numbers: don’t really have one!

Instruments: self-taught acoustic guitar... I started in high school and ya know I can really only play chords but I really enjoy it. I’ve decided that after the pandemic I think I want to take real lessons. I’m currently trying to work on my bar chord skills... my hands are so fucking weak lol

Dream trip: so I’ve gone to martha’s vineyard every single summer since I was born - 2020 was the first year I wasn’t able to go, obviously bc of the pandemic and it was heartbreaking, so I’d really just like to go to mv again.

Favorite food: noodle kugel 😋

Favorite song: my go to answer for this is babylon sisters by steely dan because it was my favorite song as like a little kid... and now the opening lyrics “drive west on sunset to the sea” are literally the directions from where I live rn to the beach... which is like my favorite part of living in LA. it all feels very self-fulfilling prophecy to me 🔮

Last book read: the ballad of songbirds and snakes which was the cause of my weird hunger games hyperfixation at the beginning of the pandemic!! fun fact I’ve never even read the full original series, I was just so jazzed that tbosas was in third person/past tense! since then I have exclusively read fanfiction lmfao

Favorite color: orange 🧡

tagging: @nooowestayandgetcaught, @pfandghoul, @abundanceofme, @curvesunsets, @michguerin, @nicky999doors, @frankbowers, @boozerman, @ophanic (feel free to ignore just thought I’d tag some coolio mutuals)

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thisiswhymomworries · 5 years

Text

Gay (mlm) Book Reccs

links to Asexual / Aromantic, Bisexual / Pansexual, Lesbian, Transgender / Non-Binary sheets

TCCL stands for Tulsa City-County Library, in Oklahoma. These reference sheets list the books physically available (not including ebooks only) at the 24 library locations in Tulsa, Oklahoma. For folks outside of this range, I suggest double-checking your local libraries, as well as the apps OverDrive, Hoopla, and YourCloudLibrary!

An online version of this list can be found at https://bit.ly/2kq4tjP. This goodreads shelf includes ebooks, new releases, and books not available at the library! It also features a notes section that specifies which character is gay, their exact identity if stated in the text, and whether they are a main or side character.

In the shelf list along the left side of the page, you can also find shelves for other LGBT+ identities, as well as books featuring characters that are disabled, fat, mentally ill, neurodivergent, and people of color. All the books are cross-tagged, so a book featuring a black disabled trans woman would appear in the shelves named disabled, POC, and transgender.

transcription below the cut!

Books Featuring Gay Male Characters Available at TCCL

(format: Title Author Genre)

The Black Tides of Heaven Yang, J. Y. Fantasy

The Love Interest Dietrich, Cale YA Romance

Black Wings Beating London, Alex YA Fantasy

Red Skies Falling London, Alex YA Fantasy

My Fate According to the Butterfly Villanueva, Gail D. Middle Grade Fiction

Heart of Iron Poston, Ashley YA Science Fiction

Soul of Stars Poston, Ashley YA Science Fiction

Salvation Day Wallace, Kali Science Fiction / Horror

Keep This to Yourself Ryan, Tom YA Mystery

The Merciful Crow Owen, Margaret YA Fantasy

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue Mackenzi, Lee YA Historical Fiction

Openly Straight Konigsberg, Bill YA Romance

Upside Down Walker, N. R. YA Romance

Red, White, & Royal Blue McQuiston, Casey YA Romance

Object of Desire Maclean, Dal Romance

The High King’s Golden Tongue Derr, Megan Science Fiction

All the Wrong Places Gallagher, Ann Romance

Kill Game Kingsbridge, Cordelia Mystery

Trick Roller Kingsbridge, Cordelia Mystery

Cash Plays Kingsbridge, Cordelia Mystery

One-Eyed Royals Kingsbridge, Cordelia Mystery

A Chip and a Chair Kingsbridge, Cordelia Mystery

A Mark on my Soul Greene, Jordan YA Romance

Timekeeper Sim, Tara YA Science Fiction

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda Albertalli, Becky YA Romance

Two Boys Kissing Levithan, David YA Romance

Autoboyography Lauren, Christina YA Romance

Taproot Young, Keezy Graphic Novel

My Brother’s Husband (vol 1) Tagame, Gengoroh Graphic Novel

My Brother’s Husband (vol 2) Tagame, Gengoroh Graphic Novel

Carry On Rowell, Rainbow YA Fantasy / Romance

What If It’s Us Albertalli, Becky YA Romance

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe Sáenz, Benjamin Alire YA Romance

Stranger Than Fanfiction Colfer, Chris YA Fiction

Blank Spaces Lennox, Cass Romance

Draw the Line Linn, Laurent YA Fiction

How Not to Ask a Boy to Prom Goslee, S. J. YA Romance

Trans Mission: My Quest to a Beard Bertie, Alex Autobiography

Once & Future Capetta, Amy Rose YA Fantasy

The Song of Achilles Miller, Madeline Historical Fiction / Romance

Proxy London, Alex YA Science Fiction

The Priory of the Orange Tree Shannon, Samantha Fantasy

#gay #mlm #book reccs #lgbtqia #lgbt+ books #I separated out gay and lesbian bc the list would have been MASSIVE otherwise #and since title / author / genre is all that's listed #I don't think a gay man / lesbian woman would appreciate getting a book #meant for the other

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larsbjorge-blog · 4 years

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harryandmolly · 6 years

Text

like the back of my hand - October-December 2019 (part five)

Summary: a relationship within a collection of moments

Warnings: NSFW, language

Word count: a modest 3.8k (next one is the final, guys)

November 12th, 2019

“You’re not… I mean, it’s not that you’re scared I could hurt you, is it?”

She can’t look up at his face. Her chest hurts at just the sound of his voice so she buries her face deeper into his shoulder, clenching her jaw.

“No. The best way I can describe it is… is that it’s not that I’m afraid of you touching me, it’s that I can’t understand why you want to.”

If she were looking, she’d see he looks stricken. He just tightens his arms around her waist and blinks sleepily.

“And, I just want to clarify, it’s not like I jump out of my skin every time you touch me. It’s not like that at all. I fucking love it when you touch me. If I had it my way, you’d never stop touching me. You have no idea how badly I crave your touch.”

His smile is melancholy when she does crank her head out of the crook of his neck to face him.

“The trouble I have stems from not knowing where the touching is going and not feeling secure enough to stop you when I get nervous.”

He nods. It makes sense.

“So… how can I help you?”

“I think I just need time. Time and itty bitty baby steps.”

He hears the humor in her voice and is relieved. “Itty bitty baby steps?” he snickers.

“Yep. Like—” she interrupts herself by grabbing his hand and planting it on her left breast. His eyes fly open.

“That. That’s a baby step.”

She eyes him mischievously and grabs his other hand and does the same with her right breast so both his giant hands are resting on her chest and she’s giggling maniacally.

“There. Look at that, that’s another one. Look at the progress!”

He laughs hard and realizes his body needs it. They’ve been bogged down with their emotions, holed up in his house for days without much respite from them. He drags her on top of him, simultaneously feeling a weight lift from his body as hers replaces it. She looks happy and relaxed and he wants so much more of that, so he nods.

“I can do baby steps.”

+++++++++

December 17th, 2019

Lilly’s been spending most nights at his place and leaving for work before he gets up. He ambles around and writes while she’s away and either cooks or orders something to have ready when she gets home.

Each night, she takes him a little further along with her. He is not an inexperienced man by any means but loving her like this has brought out the enthusiastic kid in him again. He can’t remember the last time he felt his knees quake when a woman took her shirt off in his presence. He’s sure the last time his mouth went dry when his hand was guided down between the legs of his partner was the first time it ever happened. It gives him a new appreciation for all of it – for the intimacy, for the arousal, for her.

She’s being careful with herself. She doesn’t want to spook the anxious beast in her gut again, so each night they’re together, she guides him a little closer, assessing carefully as she pulls him in and they explore together.

It’s seemingly unromantic this way, she figures, from the outside. She explains it to Lauren one night when Shawn is out with friends. Though fully supportive, she just doesn’t really get it.

“It sounds like it takes a lot of planning,” Lauren notes, hesitation in her voice.

“It’s really not as carefully calculated as it sounds. It’s more like… practice. Really, really fun practice. The problem with Patrick was we were going so fast I didn’t take time to realize how I was feeling. Now, Shawn puts me in control and everything just… feels good,” Lilly explains.

It’s good enough for Lauren.

That night, Lilly and Shawn take a healthy lead off second base and when she leaves him in the morning pink-cheeked and mostly naked in his bed, she can’t fucking wait to get home and reach third.

+++++++++

December 28th, 2019

“I don’t know that I have any specific sex fantasies.”

“Oh, come on.”

“No, really, the only thing I want is to make passionate love in the Cinderella Suite in the castle in Disney World,” she answers earnestly, propping her chin up on his chest to watch his reaction.

Predictably, he’s delighted by her admission, sweeping her hair back so it tickles his stomach. “I definitely should’ve guessed that.”

“Yes, you should’ve,” you tease.

“So, what, you’d be in a ball gown and I’d be calling you ‘your highness’ or…?” he prompts.

“No,” she laughs, “I mean, I hadn’t really thought about that.” A flush blooms under those freckles he loves and he knows she’s thinking about it now. He makes a mental note.

“What about your pirate thing?” he reminds her, wanting to get some specific details from her. He realizes he sounds a little desperate, but getting her off is his new favorite thing and is becoming his mission in life. If he can do it in style for extra brownie points, he wants to know how.

They’ve been fooling around comfortably for a few weeks, enjoying their baby steps system more than Shawn imagined. Now that they were trading orgasms like candy, they were both more at ease talking about it.

She buries her face in his chest unexpectedly. He giggles and starts playing with her hair again encouragingly. “What is it?” he hisses.

“I should tell you something,” she begins to confess, fluttering her eyes at him and sighing in resignation.

“Ok,” he chuckles anxiously.

“I… have read a lot of romance novels.” She says it matter-of-factly, tilting her chin up and nodding a little as if daring him to mock her.

“Like… Fifty Shades of Grey? Or the old ones with Fabio on the covers?”

“I didn’t finish Fifty Shades of Grey and neither did any other serious romance enthusiast. But yes, I happen to like some of the older classic novels. I’m not entirely proud of this, you see, because they’re kind of trashy and not good quality, but worse than that, they are not representative of how women should be treated, or beacons of healthy relationships, for that matter.”

It was like she had been planning the speech to spill out at him at the right time. He shrugs.

“I’m not judging you, babe,” he reminds her.

“No, I know, and I felt like I was keeping this weird secret from you. It feels sort of shameful because you know how I am about feminism and this feels like a crack in my armor, sort of.” She sounds a little upset and he sees the crease form between her eyebrows.

“What is it you like about them?” he asks.

After a brief pause, she gestures wistfully. “They’re just so… sweepingly romantic. Like, I’m not necessarily envious of these women or their situations because usually they’re trapped without options in one way or another, but it’s this crazy passion that seems so… inviting. There’s this one book I’ve read, god, fuck, maybe over a dozen times. It was written by a married couple in the 90s. It was this cult classic that went out of print for the longest time and only a few years ago it got republished and has this whole new life now.”

“I want to read it,” he says confidently, nodding at her. Her eyes bug out.

“No! No, you can’t read it.”

“Why not?”

“Because then you’ll see what a phony I really am with my principles and my intersectionalism and my sex positiveness.”

He laughs. “I won’t read it to judge you, I just want to know you better. C’mon, you love this book, how bad can it be?”

She winces, looking at him hesitantly, he takes one of her hands and rolls her fingers between his, insistent.

“What’s it about?” he murmurs, nodding at her.

“A young American girl during the Revolutionary War named Merry lives with her British aunt as social outcasts. Anyway, the aunt takes Merry on a trip to… New York, I think and then tricks her and says they’re moving back to England where Merry can live in a real community and get married and be a proper lady. Then the night before the boat leaves, she gets kidnapped by these pirates and winds up on their ship as a hostage and things get… complicated.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Well, that sounds good.”

“It’s… very dreamy. I mean, you know about my pirate thing. But Merry is held against her will and is all soft and virginal on this pirate ship and, y’know, the whole consent thing wasn’t as big a deal in the 1700s—”

“I’m not grilling you, Lil, I just want to read the book.”

“Shawn, you don’t even like to read,” she reminds him. He shrugs.

“I know, but I’m gonna try. What’s it called?” He reaches for his phone and pulls up his notes app.

She stares at him, trying to decide if there’s anything she can say to get out of this. She knows, of course, if she really felt that uncomfortable with him reading the book, she could tell him and he’d back off. But something curious stirs up in her gut at the idea of sharing this part of her with him.

“The Windflower by Laura London.”

He types it in and saves it, gratified. “Got it.” He plants a grateful and comforting kiss on her head, hauling her up his body to have her feel a little closer. She snuggles into his neck and closes her eyes. As she begins to drift off, a thought occurs to her.

“Have you ever read erotic fiction?”

“Uh… I’ve read fanfiction?”

“Smut?”

He snorts indelicately. “Yeah.”

“Ok. Don’t read it anywhere in public. Just… trust me on that.”

He smiles against her forehead, curious about this novel’s power over his level-headed, feminist-minded, incredibly sweet girlfriend.

++++++++

December 31st, 2019

“God, I’m such a miserable west coast bitch now,” Lilly sighs, stepping out of the car and folding her arms childishly. Shawn follows her with a shaky smile, nodding at the driver before he leaves them on the side of the road. Shawn tunes out the rest of Lilly’s gobsmacked reaction of her own inability to deal with the familiar New England cold as he looks up the long driveway to a slightly dilapidated Victorian home glowing with light and throbbing with sound.

She suddenly realizes he stopped listening to her some time ago. She frowns at the house. “Shawn?”

“Sorry. Nervous.”

She looks up at him and sees, yes, he really is.

They’ve flown to Boston for a hybrid occasion: New Years, Anna and Chris’s engagement and Nate’s insistence on a “family” reunion. She wasn’t originally planning on bringing Shawn until he asked to come. She assumed he’d want to do something a little more glamorous for New Years, or at least spend some time with his family. Plus, it was a little intense, this en masse meeting of her friends from college, all of whom had not been gathered like this since… 2015?

He got dressed up for the occasion, too. He’s wearing a fucking pea coat for crying out loud, how could he possibly be nervous about this?

She takes his hand and squeezes it. “You weren’t like this when you met my parents,” she reminds him.

He nods. “Because parents like me. Always have. I’m great with parents. But your friends are… I mean, there’s no guarantee.”

She’s enchanted by how worked up he is about this. Her heart’s exploding under her violet sweater as she pulls him forward, crunching their boots on the melting ice crystals wedged in the gravel driveway.

“You already know Lauren. She’s the biggest one you had to win over, anyway. Nate will try to give you a dad-style talk about your intentions. Naomi is so chill, you won’t have a problem at all. Serena’s going to talk your ear off about music. Andy… just don’t start talking politics with Andy and you’ll be fine.”

They climb the salted steps and she walks in like she belongs there and she does, so it’s up to her to help make him feel welcome as much as it is up to her friends.

The house is banging with people and music. It’s cast in a dull yellow light from old fixtures that gives it an ‘80s teen movie feel. They ditch their coats and Lilly nods at a group playing beer pong, none of whom she knows or is close to.

“Were all your college parties like this?” he yells in her ear, placing a hand on her lower back as they climb the stairs to the second floor from where the music emanates.

She shakes her head. “No, they were hotter! We crammed this many people into an apartment instead of a whole house. I saw a girl get fingered against a fridge once sophomore year. It was nuts!”

He laughs at the manic delight in her eyes. Her best friends are close and she’s feeding off their energy, she’s in her environment. He wonders if this is how she felt watching him on stage that first time in Barcelona.

They step into a big kitchen diner filled with people that Shawn mostly towers over. They both hear it before they see it. A blur of dark hair and perfect eyebrows comes shrieking into view, launching into Lilly and knocking them both against a garbage can. Shawn steadies them, feeling a little unsteady himself as Lilly’s attention is taken away.

They scream at each other unintelligibly for a few seconds before the woman composes herself and sticks a confident hand out to Shawn.

“Hi! I’m Serena. It’s really nice to meet you.”

Shawn’s memory clicks. He turns on his easy charm. “Oh hi! You’re Serena from New York, right? You work at Lincoln Center?”

She looks surprised and flattered. “Yes! Wow, Lil, did you give him flashcards?” She throws an elbow into Lilly’s side as she’s being greeted by other casual acquaintances.

“Don’t need to, he’s just a good listener,” Lilly teases, pressing a finger into Shawn’s chin dimple as he grins. He ducks his head bashfully.

“C’mon, let’s go find the boys. Nate’s going to cry, you know that right?” Serena starts, leading them through the throngs of sweaty twenty-somethings.

“I can’t believe he got everyone here. It’s a miracle. Even Mackenzie’s coming by for a few minutes.”

“Well, you can’t blame her for wanting to get the fuck out of Manhattan on New Years.”

“True. Is Hallie here?” Lilly asks.

“Hallie’s here somewhere. I don’t know what’s going on with her and Nate; he said he’d fill me in later. Also… Patrick’s here.”

Lilly doesn’t react, though Shawn watches her carefully. She nods. “I figured he would be.”

Serena throws an arm around her shoulder. “Alright, Hollywood, let’s go see your friends!”

He loves watching this. She’s totally overwhelmed with excitement at seeing these people, people who knew her and loved her during some of the most formative years of her life. He’s on the periphery for a little while as she catches up and trying to remember names as Lilly lobs them at him.

“You need any name drops, I got you,” says a voice next to him. He looks down, all the way down, at diminutive Lauren as she sidles up next to him with something pink in a Solo cup, her cheeks flushed and eyes dancing.

“Thanks, Lo,” he chuckles, nodding at her beverage, “Whatcha got there?”

“Vodka, lemonade, cranberry juice, sprite, I have no idea what else.” She stares at it suspiciously before handing it to him for a sip.

He looks around the room, locking eyes briefly with the second tallest person here, who he figures is Patrick by the way Lilly described him. He nods and smiles, looking back down again when Lilly tugs on his sleeve to introduce him to another round of grinning strangers.

A few minutes later, Naomi’s mixing drinks and they’re at the bar watching her do it with pizzazz.

“How you doin’, sport?” Lilly whisper-yells over the music, shrugging an arm around his waist possessively. He smiles at the gesture and swings his arm around her shoulders, bringing her in to kiss her head.

“I’m doing great. Your friends are funny.” He gestures with his chin toward Anna and Lauren grinding to Ignition Remix.

“And you haven’t even met her favorite yet!” says a voice behind them.

She whirls and throws herself into a portly guy of medium height with dark hair and a thick beard. He squeezes her hard, smiling warmly at Shawn over her shoulder.

“Shawn, so nice to finally meet you. I’m Nate.”

Lilly looks prouder than she has all night when they shake hands and Nate slaps him on the back welcomingly.

“I’ve heard so much about you and your rescue missions and your epic Valentine’s Days,” Shawn jokes, hoping he doesn’t sound weird or jealous. Nate beams, going crinkly around the eyes.

“We do have some good fuckin’ stories,” he says, looking at Lilly fondly. It’s Shawn’s turn to smile at that.

“Shawn, can I grab you another drink?” Nate says, turning on a dime. Shawn nods, startled. Nate hurries away.

“He’s such a southern gentleman sometimes,” Lilly chuckles, backing into Shawn’s chest as someone squeezes past them, “Born to be the perfect host.”

Shawn holds onto her hip to keep her there. She bites down a smile, her mind flashing back to a couple weeks before. They had been in bed watching Arthur Christmas and he was playing with her hair and rambling about his plans to fly to Toronto for Christmas, talking over the movie like he didn’t care that it drove her crazy. She rolled on top of him to shut him up and they made love for the first time with British elves shrieking about saving Christmas in the background.

It was perfect because it wasn’t. He wasn’t sure exactly where she was going until she reached for the condoms in his bedside table. He didn’t ask her verbally if she was sure – they just stared at each other panting for about a minute until she got impatient. It was the first time, so it wasn’t magic, it wasn’t sparkles and angels singing, it was giggling and grunting and awkward but he made her come twice with his fingers and tongue before they did it in earnest. Their baby steps completed, she felt like she had slain a dragon. They had sex every day that week to celebrate until they parted for the holiday. Tonight she fully planned to celebrate with him again since they were getting so goddamn good at it.

The night wears on in what Lilly says is a typical fashion. Several peripheral players begin to bail after the midnight countdown, during which everyone made out recklessly for a little longer than appropriate, even on New Years. Shawn’s ears were pink for an hour after. It was down to those members of the college pep band and friends that Nate specially invited, complaining they had been astray too long. They sat in a bulbous circle and played kings and then never have I ever, during which time Serena had the fabulous idea to declare that never had she ever written a song about Lilly. The group hooted and hollered as Shawn and Patrick shared an awkward glance over their sips of booze. Lilly went beet red and tossed her head back in response.

“Never have I ever had sex with a celebrity!” Anna shrieks, pointing at Lilly and Shawn across the circle. They both drink and roll their eyes in sync. Shawn picks a Cheez-it out of the box next to his feet and chucks it at Anna. She catches it in her mouth and winks at him.

“We said no targeting, Anna!” he accuses, narrowing his eyes at her playfully.

“But you’re such an easy target, Shawn,” Serena sighs.

“It’s true,” Lilly coughs into her drink. He looks down at her, feigning betrayal.

“You too?!”

“Never have I ever had sex with a celebrity at an awards show,” she shoots back, raising her eyebrows as the group reacts with rousing laughter and pleas of “oh god, who?!” “where?!”

Shawn wrinkles his nose and gulps down the last of his drink. “I’m so wasted,” he admits over the din. She strokes a hand up his thigh and flutters her eyelashes at him.

“Good. Want to go fuck in Nate’s bathroom?”

He blinks. “Really?”

“Abso-fuckin-lutely.”

They do fuck in Nate’s bathroom, so vigorously in fact that she rips the breast pocket of his button-up shirt and it’s hanging off him as they saunter back downstairs together, smirking in unison at the cheers of approval from her friends.

At some point around 2:45am, Patrick slides into a conversation Shawn is having with Naomi about the lyrical content on SM3. He stays long enough to offer a backhanded compliment to Shawn about the production strategy and tell him he thinks his boots are cool. Shawn’s glad he’s drunk enough not to feel the need to corner him and bark in his face about how he treated Lilly once upon a time.

Then around 4:15am, he finds himself outside with Nate embracing the cold air as a break from the heady, boozy steam of the overheated party house.

“You have the best girl in the whole world, you know,” Nate mumbles, shaking his head out toward the Boston skyline. Shawn smiles to himself.

“I know. I got really fucking lucky.”

“Lilly is the best friend in the world. She’d kill for anyone in that room and they’d do the same for her. She wasn’t… she was so good at friendship but the whole ‘love’ thing didn’t come as easily for her. I don’t know why, she’s amazing. I know you know that. I had a feeling life was saving up something special for her. I think that’s you, man.”

Shawn blames the moisture in his eyes on the gallon and a half of gin he’s sure he’s consumed by this point. He returns Nate’s firm handshake and clears his throat as they walk inside. On their way in, he bumps straight into Lilly who has his jacket in hand.

“Oh, I was just coming to bring this to you,” she says, wrinkling her brow at the look on his face. He takes the jacket from her hands and puts it down on the table, taking her face between his palms instead and planting the kiss to end all kisses on her as the room cheers again.

“I love you, Lil,” he promises. Taken aback and certainly off-kilter from the killer kiss, she nods in a daze.

“Same.”

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