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bookishdream · 1 year

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kaz brekker x gn!Inferni!reader

Summary: You and Kaz spending some quality time together

Word count: 1,1k

Being in love with the Bastard of the Barrel was like lighting up a ton of candles, throwing them into a pile and jumping straight into them. It wasn’t easy, it didn’t even look like it would become easy any time soon. But you tried and so did he.

Kaz cared about you. He showered you with little gifts – a mug of your favourite coffee on your desk when you were working over hours, a compass on your pillow or a single flower in a vase that would always be replaced whenever it started to wither. He didn’t make it obvious that it was from him yet you knew and he was aware that you knew.

It all started when you came looking for a job. You had been terrified of what could’ve been encountered on the streets of Ketterdam. Not only were you a teenager – already vulnerable because of your age – but also you were Grisha. Inferni to be exact. You had left your home in the western Ravka after you’d lit up your whole village, burning it to the ground along with its inhabitants. You still were scared of whatever untamed power was sleeping in you.

However, nothing could’ve stayed hidden from Kaz Brekker. He controlled everything that happened in his part of the town, taking notice of a new Grisha roaming Ketterdam’s streets. He’d pulled some strings and somehow you’d wandered into the Crow Club. You’d been shocked, for in your small town there hadn’t been clubs like those you’d seen. Or like this that you had been standing in, exploring its wooden counters, tables for various hazard games, dimmed lights or a staircase that you could’ve only imagined where it led.

“Are you y/n?” A hoarse voice had said from behind your back. You’d turned around and saw a man your age with his hand placed on a cane, its head looking like it used to belong to some stray crow. “I was wondering how long it would take you to finally come here.”

“How do you know my name?” You’d questioned your voice no more than a whisper.

“I have my secrets,” the boy had replied, his cold gaze looking you over. “All you need to know is that we are in need of an Inferni and here you are,” he’d smirked.

You’d rolled your eyes. Obviously he hadn’t wanted to put you up for a night out of the goodness of his heart. You’d doubted he had a heart at all.

Since then, you’d been irreplaceable to him. Grisha weren’t popular in Kerch. So you’d stayed, made yourself comfortable and started working with Kaz and his Crows.

You closed your eyes, sighing deeply. Your head was pounding and your fingers were itching to use some of the magic in you. You’d been so busy all day that you hadn’t even thought about lighting candles in your room. You’d just flipped a switch and started working on the numbers. Not even, what look like ten minutes, the dusk has fallen and your eyes started watering.

“If you stay a little longer over that, you might smudge the numbers with your tears, love,” the hoarse voice you’ve grown to love said from the threshold. You lifted your head to see Kaz leaning against the wall, his palm still on his cane. He looked like he just came back from whatever he was doing, his hat still on his head and the long coat he adored – even though he wouldn’t admit to liking something – still on his back, buttoned up.

“It’s okay, I only have one page to finish and I’m done for the night,” you replied tiredly. Your head was still pounding.

“You look like you’re going to be sick,” he commented, undoing his coat. His ruffled hair was all over the place and you could see the bags under his eyes.

“The same can be said about you,” you remarked, smirking at him. Kaz only rolled his eyes at you, coming closer to your desk.

He pulled out his hand towards you and you looked up at him quizzically. When he encouraged you with a slight nod, you took his hand and let him lead you to your bed. He motioned for you to lay down and he did the same on the other side of the bed. He took a deep breath in and started to peel off his gloves from his palms. you watched him in silence, trying to make sense of what he was doing.

“Have you used your powers today?” Kaz inquired, letting his arm fall beside you, leaving some space between you.

“No,” you made yourself comfortable on your bed, laying on your side and facing his profile. He looked at you, but remained sitting, propped up against the bedhead.

“Show me, then,” he pleaded, his face fully turning into your direction. “Your powers, I mean.”

“You’ve seen me using my powers, Kaz,” you laughed, closing your eyes a little. It felt so good to be close to him.

“I’ve seen you killing with your powers, but i haven’t seen you just using it,”

“Well,” you trailed off, lifting your palm a bit. You produced a small flame that was trailing your palm and then your forearm. You could feel the heath of the fire yet it didn’t burn you. It never burned you. You glimpsed at Kaz, and saw that he was in a slight awe. His eyes were widened and his lips were lightly parted. Then, he sent you a look and you knew he wanted to say something.

“Can–,” Kaz cleared his throat, “Can I try?”

“Sure,” you scooped a little closer to him, pointing your finger at his palm, “May I? Just say if you want to stop.”

He nodded his head and lifted his palm, you placed your own onto his. When you heard a sharp intake of breath from Kaz, you were aware that not only you felt the electricity that went through when you touched. You continued looking at him, in order to know when or if you needed to stop. When Kaz was still staring at your connected palms, you constructed another little flame and let it roam around Kaz’s palm and shirt, carefully not to ignite anything.

“You okay?” You made sure, his demeanour was still the same. He let you touch him for more than a minute now. You looked into his eyes and you saw light in his eyes.

“It’s really, um–“ he cleared his throat again, “pretty.”

You laughed at that then you extinguished the flame and came back to your previous position. “Fire has always calmed me down, that’s why I couldn’t produce even a spark after the accident,”

“We all have our demons,” he replied. “Better for you that you managed to kill yours.”

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #soc kaz #kaz my beloved #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker one shot #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #six of crows one shot #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishasworld #grishaverse

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5sospenguinqueen · 27 days

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Y/N: Can I say something that will probably annoy you?

Kaz: Since when do you ask for permission?

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jahayla-parker · 9 months

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Foolish One : Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: 4.7k wc, angst set to the tale of Foolish One by Taylor Swift. Reader has feelings for Kaz and her wishful thinking results in her suffering from a heartbreaking realization when Inej returns.

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, sadness, crying, unrequited? feelings, SoC standard triggers/topics, no happy ending

Y/n stifled her hopeful smile as she knocked on Kaz’s door. Upon hearing his gruff voice express she could enter, y/n took an anxious breath as she turned the doorknob leading to his office. “Morning, Kaz,” y/n greeted sweetly, stepping into his workspace.

Kaz looked up from his desk. While it wasn’t a smile, the edges of his lips did curl up faintly in response to y/n’s greeting. He knew of her feelings towards him. Normally that would mean pushing her away, but since Inej had left them, he’d been trying to be better at these things. As such, Kaz had been working on being warmer and less harsh towards y/n. He figured if he could, maybe he had a chance of one day being in a semi-normal relationship.

Y/n gracefully crossed the room and sat in the chair across the desk from Kaz. She was always careful to respect his boundaries. As such, y/n kept her hands in her lap instead of fiddling with the new set of pens on his desk.

Kaz picked up on y/n’s gaze and a smirk took over his face. “You can play with them if you’d like,” he offered civilly. “There’s no need to drool over pens,” Kaz joked in a monotonous tone.

Y/n felt her cheeks warm rapidly in embarrassment. She gave Kaz a small grateful smile before she reached across the space between them to grab one of the pens. As y/n spun one of the new pens in between her fingers -her eyes scanning the shiny device-, she couldn’t help but wonder if this was a sign from Kaz.

Y/n had developed a crush on her boss -and friend- Kaz Brekker about a year ago. She never acted on it, assuming it was one-sided and fruitless. But, over the last few months, things seemed to change. Kaz was friendlier, more open about things (albeit minor things, but it was still progress), sought her out to help on things she suspected he didn’t actually need her assistance with, and overall made it seem like maybe, just maybe, he was interested in her too. Y/n’s foolish heart clung onto that hope and belief from the very first sign. Now she was in too deep. After all, Kaz was only simply letting y/n play with the pens on his desk, and she was taking it as a small gesture of his affection.

Jesper had tried to keep y/n’s crushing heart more grounded, worrying her feelings towards Kaz wouldn’t end well. While he’d have to admit that he had seen the way the Bastard of the Barrel was softer towards y/n than he was to the other Crows or Dregs, Jesper didn’t want y/n to get her hopes up. He knew Kaz wasn’t capable of being clear about his feelings and didn’t want y/n to get caught up in all of that. He’d seen it happen to himself and Inej already.

Jesper knew y/n was an incredible person, and it wasn’t that he didn’t think she was worthy of Kaz’s attention or romantic interest. Instead, he didn’t think Kaz was worthy of y/n’s affection. Wylan had kept Jesper from interfering with whatever was transpiring between Kaz and y/n as of late. But, that didn’t mean that Jesper didn’t see it and worry about what was going on.

As great as y/n was, Jesper knew she wasn’t the exception. He knew Kaz would never be able to offer y/n what she was looking for, what he and the other Crows knew she deserved. Nevertheless, he saw y/n’s hope lift anytime Kaz showed her any attention or consideration. Jesper tried to warn y/n not to stitch her happiness to someone like Kaz, much less to Kaz’s cold and distant heart; but she didn’t want to hear it.

In fact, even when there were warning signs that something wasn’t right, y/n’s wishful thinking took over and brushed those fears away. For example, in the last few days, she’d been getting less and less from Kaz. Y/n had heard from Inej that she was returning to Ketterdam in the next few days. She knew Kaz was aware of this as well as their group had discussed it the other night over dinner. Yet, instead of connecting the dots between Kaz’s sudden shift in attention and this simultaneously learned fact, y/n ignorantly disregarded it.

Y/n didn’t often fall this hard. In fact, she had started to move past her crush on Kaz until he began treating her as if she had a chance. By now, he’d manage to give y/n just enough attention to keep her hopes too high and block out the voices of reason in her mind. She wasn’t usually known to be foolish, otherwise she’d likely have never been part of the Dregs; much less made a Crow. But, when it came to Kaz, things were different.

No amount of reasoning voices in y/n’s mind could keep her from falling harder and harder for the Bastard of the Barrel. She didn’t need Jesper’s friendly -yet protective- warnings about the situation. Y/n’s own mind had told her all of those same sentiments already. Yet, she nonetheless found herself sinking further into her wishful thinking more every night.

“You can keep that one,” Kaz offered, his rough voice cracking through the thoughts in y/n’s mind.

“Huh?” Y/n mumbled as she tried to refocus on the present moment. “Sorry, what?” She asked, looking up from the pen. Y/n’s eyes met Kaz’s for a brief second before he looked away.

“It’s nothing special,” Kaz muttered casually. “So you can have it,” he said, waving his gloved hand dismissively.

Y/n’s heart flittered with hope at the notion. Even if he claimed it wasn’t special, y/n knew Kaz only offered her the pen because of how she’d been staring at it for so long just now. The fact Kaz was freely offering her something of his, something so new and shiny no less, made y/n’s chest feel warm.

“Oh,” y/n smiled lightly. Truthfully, she didn’t care about the pen. It had merely been where her eyes had chosen to land as she daydreamed about her situation with Kaz. But, she cherished the sentiment from Kaz. “Thank you,” y/n replied, hooking her fingers around the pen tightly.

Y/n sighed to herself as she watched the sun set. She rubbed her arms aggressively with her cold hands in an attempt to stay warm despite the chilly air. Y/n should’ve known she’d be alone tonight. She had invited Kaz to join her, hoping watching the sunset would help him decompress after their failed heist earlier today.

Kaz had agreed to meet her, but didn’t say when he’d be out. As such, y/n had been sitting out here for awhile before the sun began to set. Normally she wouldn’t have waited so long for someone to show up to an agreed upon event. But, Kaz knew how to keep her waiting. In fact, he actually said he’d come tonight. So, even as y/n watched the sun disappear behind the horizon, she told herself maybe something came up that prevented Kaz from joining her like he’d said.

When y/n made it back to the Slat, she quickly learned she was correct; something had come up. Y/n rounded the corner near Kaz’s office and heard Inej’s voice. She was back earlier than expected. Normally this would’ve made y/n happy as it had been awhile since she’d last seen her friend. Only, she could see the agonizing closeness between Inej and Kaz.

It wasn’t just a metaphorical closeness either. Kaz allowed Inej to stand mere inches from him, his gloved hand resting on Inej’s clothed arm. Y/n knew the two had been close friends, or what amounted to a close friendship for someone like Kaz. But, she couldn’t help but feel jealous as she witnessed the two sharing a look as if silently communicating something with just their eyes. As metaphorically and literally close as y/n had gotten to Kaz lately, both achievements were easily outdone by the scene before her.

Y/n went to back up, hoping to quietly flee the scene. Only, her heel smacked into the corner loudly. She winced as Inej and Kaz parted instantly and looked her way. She pasted on a fake smile as Inej grinned upon seeing her.

“Y/n, oh hey!” Inej exclaimed. She stepped away from Kaz and neared her friend, a smile gracing her lips as she did. Inej watched y/n’s eyes flicker to Kaz for a split second before looking away and then back at Inej.

Y/n hugged Inej as she acted like she was fine. It wasn’t the first time she had to seem bulletproof around Kaz. But, this time it hurt more as it involved her friend as well. She didn’t feel like she even had the right to feel this way. Y/n knew she couldn’t call Kaz hers. Yet, these last few months had her thinking one day he’d come around and that maybe, someday, when they were older, the miscommunication and longing was something they would laugh about.

Y/n ignored the way she could feel Kaz’s eyes on her as she greeted Inej with faux enthusiasm. She couldn’t wouldn’t show weakness or sorrow. She didn’t have the right to. And y/n had seemingly misunderstood the connection she felt she and Kaz were forming these last few months. So, she would act as if as if she were fine.

“We need to catch up!” Inej exclaimed, squeezing y/n’s arm lovingly. She slid her hand down until she reached y/n’s palm and then interlaced their fingers. Inej looked over her shoulder as she offered Kaz a soft smile before guiding her friend from the room.

Y/n kept a false smile painted on her lips as she silently walked with Inej. She felt bad for not being super excited to see her friend. But, she couldn’t help it. Kaz had once again given y/n just enough to keep her guessing and waiting, but not enough to know where she truly stood.

Was Kaz interested in y/n? Was he interested in Inej? Saints! Was Kaz even interested in anyone at all? Y/n didn’t know. But the voices of reason in her head kept trying to warn her that something’s really not right. Nonetheless, y/n’s foolish heart allowed her wishful thinking to cloud those warnings. Kaz simply missed Inej. Besides, Kaz and Inej had been friends much longer than Kaz even knew y/n, it made sense that they’d be closer. Surely it didn’t automatically mean anything more than that.

Or at least that’s what y/n’s foolish heart allowed her to believe. Even as she laid on Inej’s bed -the one Kaz left unoccupied even as the Dregs grew in size- listening to her friend catch her up on her adventures, y/n ignored the mention of how Kaz had written Inej multiple times during her trip. Kaz didn’t write or try to communicate with y/n when she’d been gone on a few week long trip for a personal matter. Y/n assumed it was because that just wasn’t Kaz’s thing. But now, it seemed like he was perfectly capable of doing it, he just hadn’t. At least not when it came to y/n. Y/n’s mind screamed at her that Y/n clearly wasn’t the exception to Kaz’s shutdown persona. But once again, she let her foolish heart and wishful thinking mute those voices of reason. Kaz was new to this whole romance thing, that’s likely all it was.

Y/n stuck to that notion even as she laid wide awake in her bed that night. She could faintly hear Kaz talking to Inej, their muffled voices seeping through the old floorboards of the room above hers. While she couldn’t make out what was being said, y/n could tell by her friends’ tones that they were both interested in whatever the discussion was. Y/n could tell they were both too intrigued with the conversation to even consider saying goodnight to her much less keep her company tonight. So, once again, the way she had during various times when Kaz would inexplicably shut her out again for a bit, y/n talked herself to sleep again.

Unable to fall back asleep, y/n rubbed the fatigue from her eyes and rose out of her bed. She’d woken up to yet another nightmare. They weren’t foreign to her at this point, so she knew how to handle it. As such, Y/n groggily tiptoed down to the main level in search of some water and maybe a snack.

In her exhausted and still slightly on edge state, y/n hadn’t paid attention to the fact that there were a faint amber glow showing underneath the door to the kitchen. This meant, she unexpectedly came face to face with the scene on the other side of the door upon sleepily entering the kitchen. Y/n’s eyes widened and her hands instinctively lifted up in surrender as she took note of what she’d walked in on.

Inej was standing before Kaz in a tank top, her back to him. Kaz was behind Inej, a wet washcloth in one hand and a needle in the other. Both of Kaz’s hands were uncovered; he’d removed his gloves, for Inej. The slight maroon tint staining the washcloth told y/n that Kaz was attending to a wound on Inej’s back.

Y/n quickly glanced away from her friends, her eyes dashing to the grungy floor beneath her now shaking legs. “I-I.. I’m sorry,” she mumbled bashfully.

“It’s fine y/n/n,” Inej assured her.

Y/n could hear the slight disappointment in Inej’s voice loudly in the otherwise quiet room. It confirmed for y/n that whatever she’d walked in on was as intimate as it had looked. Y/n shook her head, trying to keep her tears away. She could do this, she could act bulletproof. She’d done it countless times now, surely she could do it again now even after witnessing how Kaz had pushed through his boundaries for Inej.

It wasn’t that y/n wasn’t proud of Kaz for being able to tend to someone’s wound, especially without his gloves no less. But, it was only a few days ago when y/n had gotten hurt on their failed heist and had to be patched up by Nina when Kaz refused to even look at her wound. So, seeing he and Inej like this tonight stung y/n more than any physical wound ever had.

As y/n glanced up from the ground, she chose not to look Kaz’s way. She didn’t want to see the indifferent and likely even frustrated look she expected to be on his face at her accidental interruption. “Sorry…” y/n whispered again, giving Inej a remorseful look.

It was the same look Jesper often gave y/n wherever Kaz would give y/n just enough attention to keep her foolish heart hanging on to a thread of hope. She knew what it was like to be in Inej’s position. Theoretically that is, since Inej had only been back a day and was already in a better, more romantically intimate situation with Kaz than y/n had made it to in the last several months. Nonetheless, y/n knew what it was like to be teetering on the edge of what felt like a moment where Kaz just might actually confess his love only for something or someone to interrupt and burst that moment. So even though her heart was breaking with every second she stood there in the kitchen, she still felt for Inej. Kaz wasn’t one to offer such a confession, but he knew how to keep someone on the ropes in search of one.

“Y/n,” Kaz’s voice echoed through the empty kitchen. When y/n’s reluctant gaze landed on him, he offered her his equivalent of a sympathetic expression. “Did you need something?” Kaz asked, making a show of looking at his pocket watch.

Instead of her eyes landing on Kaz’s golden pocket watch -he one she’d gifted him-, y/n’s eyes were focused on the paleness of his bare hands. Kaz had never so much as removed his gloves around y/n unless absolutely necessary. Yet here he was, practically touching Inej with his bare hands in the dimly lit kitchen in the early hours of the morning. Y/n swallowed thickly, hoping to ease the lump in her throat as she willed her eyes away from Kaz’s hands.

“I.. I umm…” y/n mumbled, panicking more when she saw Inej’s unspoken concern as to why she was so nervous. For once, Y/n let the voices of reason in her mind guide her tonight. You are not the exception, she told herself as she steeled her facial expressions. “I had a nightmare, I just came down for some water,” she explained, adding a ridiculously stiff nod as she sidestepped her friends.

“Are you okay?” Inej asked sweetly, moving away from Kaz to check on y/n.

Y/n gripped the glass in her hand tightly to keep from showing how much her hands were shaking from what felt like betrayal. She flicked the handle on and held the glass under the faucet for a few excruciatingly long seconds. “Yes, thank you Inej,” y/n replied shortly, turning the water off. She silently took a few sips of her water as Inej and Kaz watched. “I’m fine,” y/n added, boldly braving a fleeting glance at Kaz.

Y/n gritted her teeth with annoyance as Kaz wore what almost seemed like an attempt at an apologetic expression. She shook her head wordlessly before taking a few more sips of water. Y/n was still excessively thirsty, but every second she spent in the kitchen like this with Inej and Kaz was too much. She quickly dumped the remainder of her glass down the sink and mumbled a hushed goodbye to Inej before quickly departing from the room.

Y/n threw herself onto her bed, the tears bursting through the temporary dams she’d built minutes before. She didn’t even bother wiping them from her face, instead simply letting them cascade down her skin in all directions. By the time her mind had tired enough to let her sleep, her pillow was damp. The dampness only made y/n realize just how thirsty she still was, even more so after having cried for so long. But, she refused to leave her bedroom. While she figured Inej and Kaz likely had left the kitchen by now, y/n didn’t want to risk it.

Y/n wasn’t sure how much more she could take. Inej had only been home for a little over a day now and y/n was already crying herself to sleep. Truly it wasn’t Inej’s fault. Saints, it wasn’t even Kaz’s if y/n was being honest. Jesper and the others had tried to warn y/n about this. Y/n’s own mind tried to warn her about this. But it wasn’t until tonight that she truly started to realize those thoughts might be true.

Y/n knew that Kaz wasn’t a love confession type of person. And as much as she wished for one from him, she believed she’d somewhat accepted that it would never come. In reality, she just hoped to be the exception. Or, at a minimum to get a clear sign from Kaz that he authentically felt the same way y/n did when it came to this situation between them. She was foolish enough to think that maybe, just maybe, he’d come around. But as she felt her exhausted eyes drifting closed against her damp pillow, the voices of reason in y/n’s head amplified until there were louder than they ever had been before.

Y/n rocked on her heels as she waited for Inej to answer the door. She knocked moments ago, but still hadn’t heard anything from the other side of the door. Y/n looked at the plate of waffles she managed to sneak away from Nina as they grew colder on the plate in her hands. She leaned her ear up against the door to listen carefully for any sign Inej had heard her. Only, the door creaked open from the pressure of y/n’s head resting against it.

Y/n cautiously pushed Inej’s bedroom door open the rest of the way. She quickly examined the room, promptly noting that Inej wasn’t there. Nothing seemed out of place or as if something bad had happened. So, y/n figured her friend had ventured out for an early morning walk along the rooftops of the Barrel.

Y/n sighed softly to herself as she set the plate of waffles down on the ratty desk by Inej’s window. That’s when she saw something was out of place. On Inej’s windowsill, there was… a handpicked collection of y/f/f. While it struck y/n as peculiar, the writing on the minuscule note tucked into their stems made her freeze in place.

There wasn’t any explicit confession of love for Inej on the note, but y/n would know that handwriting anywhere. She blinked through her now watery eyes as she re-read the note again. “The Crows are glad to have you back,” y/n whispered, her lip trembling. It was Kaz’s writing and the flowers and note were as much of a love confession as one could expect from Kaz.

Y/n’s cheeks dampened with tears as she hastily exited Inej’s room. She couldn’t believe it. Kaz had actually given someone flowers. He’d actually even seemingly utilized his Barrel-learned skills to sneak into someone’s room to do so.

But the worst part for y/n wasn’t any of that. It wasn’t even the indirect note Kaz had written to Inej. Although, that hurt too as y/n could easily read past his words and how he tried to cover up his own emotions. She could see the note for what it was. And Kaz had never said nor written anything of the sort to y/n.

Yet, it was the specific type of flowers Kaz chose that served as the final blow. The fact Kaz picked y/f/f to gift Inej was the kill shot, the bullet that pierced through y/n’s façade of a bulletproof heart and erupted once it made contact with her soul. After all, it was less than a full 24 hours ago when Kaz had asked y/n what the best type of flowers were.

Y/n had foolishly let herself read that inquisition as a sign. Her wishful thinking also had her momentarily believing that the fact Kaz had remembered it enough to bring it up in a later conversation with her was proof he cared enough about y/n to not just ask questions and listen to her response, but to actually memorize her answers, her likes and dislikes, her favorite things; her favorite type of flowers. If y/n was honest with herself, she’d even been foolish enough to think Kaz might one day get some y/f/f for her. In fact in her mind, y/n had foolishly seen it play out the way it seemingly had in real life to Inej; a vague note -not directly confessing Kaz’s feelings but enough to make her feel loved, her favorite flowers making her realize he cared about her interests and took time to show it -even if he tried to cover it up as to not be too vulnerable, the flowers and indirect love note left casually for her in her room unsigned and unannounced.

That’s what made it hurt so much, y/n hadn’t gotten kaz so terribly wrong. She just wasn’t the exception. Y/n hadn’t learned her lesson in time to prevent her foolish heart from shattering into an infinite number of tiny shards. She should’ve walked out a long time ago. She should’ve listened to her friends’ warnings and her own internal voice of reason. Y/n should’ve never expected anything from Kaz. She should’ve known that even though she made headway, she’d never be Inej. And she’d never get his heart.

Y/n only made it a few steps before she felt her miserable body crumpling towards the floor. She let gravity slide her down the wall just outside of her bedroom, her right shoulder grazing the corner of the doorframe. Y/N’s head dropped into her shaking hands as more tears poured from her tired eyes. “How could I not see the signs?" She sobbed quietly, her nails poking the skin on her forehead as she shook.

Y/n had been a stepping stone, a lesson, a pointless heist one uses to gauge their ability and the threats the real heist would entail, and nothing more. She wasn’t Kaz’s exception. Inej was. Inej always had been. As far back as y/n could remember, Inej was the exception. Yet somehow while Inej was away, y/n had let herself believe it was her; that maybe y/n was the exception. When in reality, Kaz had been trying to better himself for her; for Inej. Kaz’s exception was Inej; not y/n. The love confession from Kaz was never going to come. Not even in a Kaz-like manner. Not to y/n at least. Inej was the one who got Kaz, the one who he wanted by his side and maybe one day on his arm, donning his ring on her left hand. Not y/n.

Y/n had finally learned her lesson, but in the most painful way possible. Instead of walking out when she first started getting mixed signals from Kaz, she’d stuck it out. She held out thinking he was the one. Thinking she’d be the one to be able to get through to him. But she wasn’t.

Y/n learned the hard way that she wasn’t the exception, Inej was. And somehow, y/n now had to act as if her foolish heart hadn’t ever lead her astray. That she never had fallen for her friend and boss. That she never once believed her wishful thinking was anything more than that. Y/n cared deeply for Inej and so, she’d have to keep these painful lessons to herself.

Epilogue:

“Oh,” Jesper sighed heavily, sharing a knowing look with Wylan. He frowned and slid out of his boyfriend’s embrace as he slowly made his way to y/n’s broken form. Jesper slid his back down the wall to the left of y/n, resting his head in her shoulder.

Wylan gazed lovingly at Jesper for a moment before joining him and y/n. He sat on the other side of y/n, in front of her door. “Are you okay?” He asked rhetorically. It was obvious from her red eyes, tangled hair, and chapped lips that she was wanting but okay. Yet, Wylan didn’t know how else to see if she was okay talking about it without making it worse. He suspected mentioning Kaz would only drive the knife in further.

“I’m so….,” y/n whimpered, pinching the bridge of her nose. She sniffled and shook her head. “How could I not see the signs?” Y/n whined again. “I actually let myself be foolish enough to think that one day…,” she trailed off as more tears left her eyes.

Jesper sighed sympathetically, intertwining y/n’s fingers with his own. “He doesn’t deserve you,” He declared. “It’s not foolish to want someone to shout from the rooftop their feelings for you,” Jesper encouraged, “he just isn’t the one.”

“Or,” y/n’s voice cracked, “maybe I… maybe it was wishful thinking to believe I would ever earn someone’s confessions of love”. She wiped her wet face on the fabric covering her shoulder since both boys were holding one of her hands.

“The day is gonna come for your confessions of love,” Wylan encouraged with a sweet smile. “Don’t give up hope just because he wasn’t the one,” he added quietly.

Jesper smiled at Wylan and nodded in agreement. “Exactly!” He exclaimed, tenderly nudging y/n’s shoulder. “When all is said and done, he just wasn't the one,” Jesper told her.

Y/n nodded quietly. She appreciated what her friends were trying to do, but she could still feel her heart breaking. They weren’t wrong, Kaz wasn’t the one, not for her anyways. That much y/n had learned the hard way. But, it didn’t erase the pain in her chest and the self blame echoing in her mind. Hopefully time would.

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delicatenightfury · 9 months

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Trust

2022 Month of Writing: Day 20

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Prompt: "It's hard to bury your past."

Word Count: 3k (this turned out longer than I was expecting)

Author's Note: please don't steal my work! you can choose to respond to the prompt as well, but don't steal my work

I'm not totally sold on this, but if you're interested in a part 2, please let me know!

I based this off the Netflix show Shadow and Bone (even though I liking the books better 😅) - just a heads up

y/n pressed a damp cloth against her arm where she had gotten a long cut. She winced slightly but focused on cleaning the wound before it got infected. She and the other crows had just barely survived an encounter with Pekka Rollins and his men in what, unfortunately, was an ambush. Her abilities as a Squaller did help some, but one of the Dime Lions sliced her arms, making it more painful to control wind. She had been lucky with her injuries and required far less attention, thus why she was tending to herself. Nina needed to be focused on Inej instead of her.

She tensed slightly when she heard the familiar sound of footsteps accompanied by the thump of a cane. They stopped somewhere behind her, letting silence fill the room for several minutes. She knew it was petty, but she wasn’t going to be the one to speak first. Several minutes later, he finally caved.

“We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said lowly.

“It doesn’t matter. We need to talk.”

“Yes, it does matter, Kaz.” She sent him a glare over her shoulder. “You almost got us killed tonight.”

“We have to cut off Rollins’ resources-”

“Do we? You’ve been content just doing simple business for the Crows Club. Then, all of a sudden, you take a mission to saints know where and somehow manage to cross Rollins in the process. Now, we have been framed for murder. And I wasn’t involved in any of it, since you left me behind, yet I still got dragged into this mess.”

She threw down the cloth and picked up a clean one to press firmly against her arm. She held back another wince, glad that the bleeding had seemed to stop for now.

“The mission was need to know.”

She glared at him.

“And I didn’t need to know?” Kaz didn’t respond, but he didn’t look the least bit apologetic. “I had to go into hiding, Kaz, because Rollins added my name to that bounty before you even stepped foot onto the boat that brought you all back to Ketterdam.”

“It was never my intention.”

y/n scoffed.

Kaz slowly came closer, but still kept his distance.

“We were sent to Ravka to locate the rumored Sun Summoner,” he said.

That made y/n pause. She had heard the rumors. All of Ketterdam had. Especially when the Fold expanded and wiped out several towns. The Sun Summoner was a Grisha who was able to manipulate light, who might be able to use their power to help tear down the Fold once and for all.

“And?” she asked.

“We found her. The Darkling used her power to expand the Fold. We had several run-ins with her, but she didn’t come back to Ketterdam with us. Our employer was looking for answers.”

“About the Sun Summoner?”

“Amongst other things.” She glanced at Kaz. He was looking at the far wall, but was only a few feet away from her now. Feeling her gaze, he looked down at her. “He took a particular interest in you.”

“Me?”

“He saw your wanted poster in the street and made an inquiry.”

“That’s not much to go off of, Kaz.”

“He’s a privateer. Rich. Seems to be from Ravka. His inquiry was brief, since his main focus was on the Sun Summoner, but he seemed determined.”

“Again, not completely helpful. This privateer have a name?”

“He called himself Sturmhond.” y/n froze. She knew Kaz was watching her for a reaction, but she couldn’t care. “You know him.”

y/n tossed the dirtied rag aside. She nodded slowly.

“I used to. It was a long time ago.”

“When?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because just hearing the name caused you to freeze up, y/n. I need to know if I can trust you to still function properly should we encounter him again.”

She looked at him.

“You’re worried about how well I’ll perform? Thanks for the vote of confidence, Kaz.” He continued to stare at her. She picked up clean bandages to begin wrapping her arm. “You don’t have to worry about it. It was a long time ago.”

“Not good enough.”

“Will you just leave it?”

“No.”

“Kaz-”

“y/n.”

“Drop it.”

“Tell me.”

She sighed.

“He’s my brother.”

There was a long beat of silence as Kaz took in her words.

“I wasn’t aware you still had family.”

She scoffed.

“As if I could call them that. I was the third child and therefore expendable. Being Grisha just gave them another reason to ignore me.”

She tightened the bandage she had put around her arm. It was a rough job, but it would hold until it could be properly looked at later. She began to clean up her supplies, sticking it in a corner for when it was needed again. As she moved, she caught a glimpse of Kaz. He was still looking at her, as if trying to find more answers.

“What?” she said. Her voice sounded more harsh than she meant it to.

“There’s more that you’re not telling me.”

y/n rolled her eyes.

“Just drop it, Kaz.”

“Not if you have information that will help us.”

“And how is my past going to help us with Pekka Rollins?”

“It will prove that I can trust you.”

y/n stopped. She set down the clothes she had been folding and looked at Kaz. His expression remained cold and hard. He rarely showed emotion as it was.

“You’re questioning my loyalty?” she asked. He simply stared at her, causing her to huff. “Thanks for that, Kaz. After all this time, I’m glad to know where we truly stand.”

She got up quickly and made her way to the door, passing by Kaz along the way.

“y/n-”

“Don’t. Just don’t.”

She hurried outside to avoid him seeing the hurt on her face.

The following week was rather eventful. The Crows had created quite a bit of chaos after releasing false Firepox at all of Pekka Rollins’ businesses. In the same night, Kaz got Rollins to lift the charges he had put on the Crows and admit that he was responsible for the crimes. Rollins had been arrested and taken to Hellgate.

During that time, Kaz and y/n had barely spoken to one another. They only spoke when necessary and even then, they did little to converse with one another. Jesper and Inej were quick to notice the difference. Even Nina and Wylan noticed but neither felt it was their place since they hadn’t known the Crows long.

y/n had been reading in her room when a sharp knock came. She stood and went to the door, finding Kaz on the other side.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Downstairs,” he said. “We have guests from Ravka.”

y/n sighed but nodded. She stepped around Kaz to make her way downstairs, letting him go to wake Wylan and Jesper.

“y/n?”

She looked up sharply at the familiar voice, her eyes widening.

“Zoya?”

The dark haired Squaller smiled widely. She moved forward to hug her.

“Saints, what are you doing here? We thought you were gone! Not even Baghra knew what happened.”

y/n looked down.

“Zoya-”

“And who is this?” A tall man approached them, a smile on his face.

“Tolya, this is y/n. Nikolai’s sister.”

Tolya’s smile grew.

“You’re Nikolai’s sister? It’s wonderful to finally meet you. I traveled with him for many years. He’s spoken of you often.”

y/n was going to respond when a glimpse of Kaz caught her eye. He was standing by the stairs, watching their interaction. Her shoulders deflated when his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. She knew immediately that he had caught at least part of their conversation. She looked back at Zoya.

“It’s a bit of a story,” she said. “One that can be shared later. I assume you are the guests Kaz told us about?”

“Yes. We have a mission for you.”

Soon, the Crows were seated in front of Zoya and Tolya, who handed them a document.

“The neshyenyer?” Nina said after they had explained the mission. “Sankta Neyar’s blade.”

“So you haven’t completely forgotten what you were taught at the Little Palace,” Zoya said with an almost taunting tone. “Just your loyalty to Ravka.”

y/n couldn’t help but feel like the statement was also directed at her.

“Ravka or Kirigan?” Nina countered. “It didn’t take him destroying a city for me to question my loyalty.”

“So, that we all know you two have history,” Jesper said, “what’s the payment for this particular job?”

“Name your price,” Tolya said. “It matters that much.”

“Is that the Lantsov family crest?” Wylan asked, looking over Nina’s shoulder at the paper.

“You know it is because it’s hideous.”

Zoya shot her a glare before glancing at y/n, who only smiled in amusement. She was never a huge fan of the Lantsov crest. To hear someone felt the same was a little refreshing.

Tolya looked at the group. “Prince Nikolai requests your services to retrieve and deliver the neshyenyer to Alina Starkov in East Ravka.”

“She’s returned?” Nina said.

“As has the Darkling,” Zoya replied. “With an indestructible army of shadow monsters.”

“Saints,” y/n muttered.

“I do not like the sound of that,” Jesper said.

“She needs the blade to kill them. It’s the only thing that might work.”

“Retrieve the blade, and the prince will pay you whatever you ask.” Tolya told them.

“But I like the sound of that,” Jesper said.

“I assume same goes for you?” Zoya asked Kaz.

“I’d welcome the chance to help your prince spend his country’s money.”

Nina quickly expressed how instead of kruge she wanted someone released from Hellgate. Zoya decided to poke fun at Nina for her attraction, but y/n nudged her arm to quiet her. Nina had told y/n of Matthias, the Fjerdan she had fallen for before she came to Ketterdam. She admired Nina’s determination to free him.

“The offer is the offer,” Tolya said. “And Prince Nikolai is a man of his word.”

“But we need to go now,” Zoya told them.

y/n looked to Kaz, who was scanning over them. His eyes lingered on her for a long moment before he pocketed the document.

“It’s settled,” he said. “We’re in.”

The group dispersed quickly after to begin preparing. y/n watching Kaz walk away. When he disappeared upstairs, she sighed.

“Well something’s going on with you two,” Tolya said suddenly.

“Excuse me?” y/n said.

“You and Brekker.”

“It’s nothing.”

Tolya hummed as if he didn’t believe her.

“I haven’t been here long, but I can sense the tension between you two.” He slid into the seat that Zoya had vacated and tilted his head at her. “What happened?”

Despite being much larger than her, he did not come across as intimidating. y/n felt herself relax.

“You said that Nik told you about me. Well, I’ve never talked about my family. But when Nik was in town as Sturmhond not long ago, he made inquiries about me. Kaz demanded answers I wasn’t ready to give.” She sighed. “He implied that he couldn’t trust me.”

Tolya nodded slowly.

“Have you tried talking to him?” he asked.

“Kaz is unbelievably stubborn.”

“And if Nikolai’s stories have revealed anything, I believe you are too.” y/n chuckled. “So why haven’t you told him?” y/n paused and looked at him. Tolya offered a small smile. “Perhaps the first step in receiving trust is showing it? Someone always has to take the first step.”

y/n watched Kaz from the doorway of his room. He was going through various maps and documents spread out over his desk. She knew that he knew she was there. Somehow he always knew. Nonetheless, she knocked on the doorframe.

“Yes?” Kaz said.

“We need to talk.”

He barely glanced at her.

“It’ll have to wait.”

“No, Kaz. We need to talk now. We can’t keep working like this and you know it.”

He huffed and looked at her as she stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her. He leaned back against his desk.

“What is it?” he asked. “In case you’ve already forgotten, we have to leave for Shu Han soon.”

“I haven’t forgotten. But if this plan works, you need to know the truth.”

“About?”

“Me.” She waited for him to make a quip or dismissal, but received none. So, she took a deep breath. “My real name is y/n Lantsov. I’m the third child of King Alexander and Queen Tatiana. I never made my society debut because once it was discovered that I was Grisha, I was taken to the Little Palace. From then on I was raised with the intent of identifying as Grisha, not a Lantsov.

“As a result, my parents basically forgot I existed. My eldest brother barely spoke to me as it was, so I was only truly close with my other brother. I wasn’t allowed to see him. Kirigan wanted there to be little to no reminders of our pasts so that we could separate ourselves from the otkazat’sya.”

She paused and looked outside. Ketterdam was bustling with activity, both legal and illegal, just as it always was. Ketterdam never slept.

“Early on, Nik and I would sneak out at night to meet. We were children and would rather play than train and learn. Nik loved to play pretend. We had found an old boat and we’d be sailors. I’d use my powers to steer us. He’d call himself Sturmhond with the distinction that he was a privateer, not a pirate.

“But we eventually got caught. I was disciplined by my instructors and put through more rigorous training. More so than some of the others. At first I thought it was because I had snuck out, but time went on and I was still pushed harder. My powers are no where near Zoya’s level. I doubt even an amplifier could get me there. Unfortunately, it took me too long to learn why that was.

“Kirigan wanted me pushed because of my background. He was… almost giddy about the fact that I was a Lantsov. I started noticing his power plays against my family. When he would visit the Grand Palace, I was among his small entourage of Grisha. He would give me special tasks when we visited, as if flaunting the fact that I was under his command instead of my parents.

“One day, while a group of us were traveling, we were attacked by Fjerdans. Drüskelle. They ambushed us, their goal to bring us to the Ice Court for a supposed trial. But we knew better so we fought back.” y/n took a deep breath to calm herself and force back the memories. “When I realized I was the last one standing, I used my powers to knock the remaining Fjerdans unconscious. I couldn’t kill them, despite the fact that they had just killed my friends.

“But as I stood there, I realized that I was alone. For the first time in years, I was by myself. I realized that there was nothing tying me down in that moment, so I fled. I went to the nearest port and stowed away. I ended up here and chose to make a new life for myself. One where no one knew who I was, where I would have more freedom than I could have imagined. Then I met you. And you know the rest.”

Silence fell over the room. y/n didn’t want to admit it but she was nervous how Kaz would react. She could feel him watching her, staring holes into her back.

After a minute, she felt the air shift and heard Kaz push himself off the desk. He slowly walked toward her, cane thumping at his side. She continued to stare outside even as he came to stand next to her.

“So Sturmhond is the prince,” he said.

y/n almost wanted to scoff - of course that was what he chose to say first - but she refrained.

“Yes. Tolya confirmed it for me.”

“And when he came to Ketterdam and inquired about you, it was because he thought you were dead.”

She shrugged.

“I suppose so. I don’t know what got reported to the king or Kirigan after the ambush. At some point, I stopped caring. It wasn’t my problem anymore.” She looked down. “Guess I was kidding myself. It’s hard to bury your past.”

Kaz huffed.

“Not if you bury it somewhere no one will ever look.”

“And I thought no one would look in Ketterdam,” y/n said, finally looking at him. “The Darkling never left Ravka and I had no idea where my brother was. I hadn’t seen him in years. I didn’t even know he had gone to serve in the military until he had been gone for three months.”

Kaz studied her for a long minute. y/n wished (not for the first time and certainly not the last) that she could read him.

“When we retrieve the neshyenyer and go to Ravka to deliver it, what will you do?” he asked. “I have no doubt we’ll run into your brother at some point.”

y/n sighed.

“I don’t know. I suppose I should talk to him at the very least. He deserves that.”

“And after?”

She shrugged.

“I’ll figure it out when I get to it.” She looked him in the eye. She knew that her answer probably left him unsatisfied but it was the best she could offer in the moment. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Last week you said that my past would tell you whether or not you could trust me. Now you know. What’s your verdict?”

Kaz’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he scanned her over. She refused to look away. Finally, he nodded.

“I trust you,” he said. “You’ve got our backs.” He stepped back, breaking eye contact with her so that he could gather various things off his desk. “Now finish gathering what you need. We leave for Shu Han in an hour.”

#month of writing #writing prompt #kaz brekker #Kaz Brekker x reader #dirtyhands #bastard of the barrel #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #six of crows #grisha #grisha reader #kaz x reader #one shot #squaller reader #lantsov reader #tolya yul bataar #tolya is a relationship counselor

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green-typewriterz · 4 months

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Please.

Kaz Brekker x gn!reader

Summary: Kaz struggles with affection and touch, but he has to do something to stop you from going on a heist that could possibly kill you.

ASK: N/A

Warnings: Kaz being Kaz, maybe slightly ooc Kaz as its my first time writing, injury, talks of death, slight ptsd

word count: 1171

Kaz sat in his office with the door closed, not a single sound escaping from under the crack. It was something you and the Crows were used to but it didn’t stop you from wondering if he was ok. While you and Jesper worked the bar - chatting happily with the pigeons that you liked to call your regulars, Wylan and Nina sat in the corner of the room, drawing out plans, Matthias had just gone outside to follow after someone who hadn’t paid and Inej was probably somewhere near - you just couldn’t see her.

The next heist was days away and both yours and Inej’s talents with staying quiet would come in handy. Though you weren’t a master spy like your Suli friend, nor could you fight in the same acrobatic way as she, you were nimble and silent, an intimidating quiet in a room full of leaders. That and you were amazing with knives. However, there was one flaw in every plan the group came up with, one that could prove to be life or death for you and Inej. The guards were never off duty and they always had guns. You’d have to fight to get past them.

It eventually got to two in the morning and the Crow Club was finally closing, yet there hadn’t even been the sound of Kaz’s uneven footsteps creaking across the floor. You sat on the other side of the bar as Jesper cleaned glasses, annoyed look in his eyes.

Eventually he turned to you. “I could use some help, you know?” Jesper spoke in mock annoyance, but any joking emotions on his face dropped when he saw the worry in your eyes. “Look, y/n, if you’re that worried about him, then go up there. Bring him tea or something.” You met his eyes and sighed, nodded slowly as you headed to the kitchens to make him a drink and some sort of food.

You headed up to his office with a hot cup of tea and a few pastries you had found in the pantry. You gently pushed open the door and the slithers of light from the hallway seeped into the room. Kaz sat at his desk, face lit only by a singular lamp that cast sickly shadows on his sharpened features. He looked tired. He glanced up as you stepped further inside, a tired frown on his features.

“Y/n, I’m busy,” he muttered quietly, head falling gently over his eyes. His attention returned to the plans in front of him. You placed down the plate and mug on the table and smiled softly.

He looked at the plate in confusion as you spoke, “I brought you some food, and a drink.” He didn’t respond so you sat down in the chair opposite him. “You’ve been here for hours, Kaz. You need to take a break.”

He put a gloved hand against his temple and sighed, “There’s no time for breaks. Every detail needs to be perfect, this has to go smoothly for us.”

You nodded in understanding, this was a difficult thing for any person, let alone a group of teenagers. “I know, Kaz. we’re all working hard.” Kaz finally looked up at you for more than three seconds and his eyes narrowed into an unreadable expression.

“You and Inej are crucial to this plan, it wouldn’t be possible without you. But-” He cut himself off, breath catching in his throat. His next words were a whisper, “But I don’t want you to go.” Your brows furrowed in confusion, why was he changing his mind now, so soon before the heist?

You sat for a while, not knowing what to say, eventually, you assumed it was him not wanting to lose his two best ‘spies’ in one go. “Kaz, we’ve done this hundreds of times, Inej and I are fully prepared for whatever happens. You don’t have to worry.”

He stood up abruptly, his chair scraping across the floor, scratching over the previous marks in the wood. His eyes seemed to hold a fervour to them you had never seen before. “It’s more than just the heist, Y/N. This job is dangerous. I can’t afford to lose anyone. I can’t afford to lose…you.”

You blinked a few times in confusion, not understanding where his sincerity had come from. He breathed out slowly and, almost as if it were against his human nature to do so, gingerly stepped forward, his eyes glued to your hands. “You’re important to me, Y/N.” His gaze flitted up to meet yours and his brows furrowed in what looked like pain as he stepped closer still. “Promise me you’ll get out if things get too dangerous.”

A sigh escaped your lips and you shook your head, “I’m not a child, Kaz. I’ve gone through worse, multiple times. You can’t expect me to stop now because you suddenly gained the ability to feel empathy.” You whispered. You hadn’t meant it to sound harsh, but the words sliced through him and his gaze lowered. Turning to the door, you began to walk away, aiming to get a semblance of a good night's sleep before the manic day of final planning began tomorrow.

Despite this aim, you only got part way toward the door when you felt cool leather grip your wrist. You gasped at the sensation and turned to see Kaz holding you in place. He breathed out shakily and his eyes closed for a moment, almost as if he were trying to calm himself. You gave him time. “Please.”

It was one word, barely a whisper above the sounds of Ketterdam from Kaz’s open window, yet it felt like a stone wall he had spent years building with his own scarred hands had come crumbling down. Heavy rocks he had cemented together with avoidance and fear fell onto his feet, pushing themselves against his chest and Jordie’s pained body lay on the other side. He withered there for a moment, trying to calm himself. He could feel the warmth of your hands through his gloves - the sensation blurring the memories of the cold bodies beneath him. He breathed in once more, eyes still shut.

“Please.”

You found yourself unable to breathe, not knowing how to deal with his vulnerability, it wasn’t something the Crows were known for. “Kaz…” You trailed off, moving closer and readjusting to hold his hand in both of yours. You worked slowly, trying to keep the both of you as calm as possible. His hand shook under yours and you released slightly, the ghost of your hand still gently touching his. “I can’t leave Inej to go alone.”

He met your eyes and nodded. He knew it would be how you'd reply. You were too good to all the people around him, too good for him. Eventually, Kaz pulled his hand away, the feeling of another person that close to him becoming too much. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I shouldn’t have asked that of you.”

He let you leave.

#fic #fanfic #one shot #writing #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #kaz is vulnerable for once #angst #a little angst never hurt anyone right #can i write a happy fic? its yet to happen

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wylanslcve · 6 months

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I can’t stop thinking about how Inej tells Wylan that “we are not our fathers” after he apologises to her for J*n kidnapping her. Wylan has spent his whole life believing that he's the problem, taking responsibility for his father’s wrongdoings due to how much J*n shifted the blame to him (a behaviour typical amongst abusers). For instance, his immediate response to Inej's abduction is self-blame despite knowing that "he couldn’t have prevented his father from double-crossing the crew and kidnapping her. He knew that, but he still felt responsible." The guilt is eating away at him because he's so accustomed to taking the blame for J*n’s actions, then Inej reassures him that he isn't the man his father is and it's like something inside him shifts. Imagine the relief that would have flooded through him hearing Inej’s words: for the first time in his life, someone isn't dumping that responsibility onto him. Instead, someone is telling him that he isn't the problem, that he has no debts to pay, that he's only human and not defined by the faults of his father. All he's ever wanted is to do something right, to not be the problem he's been constantly told he is and believes himself to be. It's as though this suffocating weight he's been carrying with him his whole life has been lifted off his chest and he can finally, finally breathe.

(That's not to say that those words alone heal him entirely, because trauma doesn't work that way - nevertheless, it's a start. It's given him a gentle nudge in the right direction of his path to healing.)

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mayfieldss · 1 year

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⇸

MASTERLISTS

SUPERNATURAL MASTERLIST

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CRIMINAL MINDS MASTERLIST

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OUTER BANKS MASTERLIST

STRANGER THINGS MASTERLIST

TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST

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THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY MASTERLIST

THE BOYS MASTERLIST

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TOP GUN MASTERLIST

DC TITANS MASTERLIST

GOOD WILL HUNTING MASTERLIST

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES MASTERLIST

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Event drabbles and fics - multiple fandoms included

If the fandom or character you are looking for is not on the masterlist, please feel free to ask if I write for them/it. There are so many fandoms and characters I have the intention of writing for that I just haven't got around to!

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1wishand1thought · 1 year

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MY SNEAKY LITTLE FOX| PART 2

Kaz Brekker x Fem. Y/N

Here you have part 1, in case you haven't read it yet: part 1

Summary: Kaz struggles to keep y/n out of his mind, her absence making him worried about the possibility of losing his most secret investment. The uncertainty of her presence in Ketterdam forces him to get into deep waters, using his knowledge to get to where she lives, only to find himself lost in the sound of her voice.

Warnings: NSFW/ Nudity descriptions, naughty vocabulary(is that even the right word? I only see this as poetic writing lmao, OKAY SORRY. let's continue).

A/N: OH SAINTS THIS ONE WAS A WHOLE CHALLENGE GUYS. I had a clear path to write this, and then a million Kruge stepped in my way avoiding me to keep going. Seriously, I lost motivation like Jesper lost money when betting. Anyway I hope you like it, it's a bit longer than the first one, I'll put the word count later. LOVE YOU, TKYSM FOR 114 NOTES IN PART 1🫶🏻🥹

Wordcount: 3417.

A week had passed since the incident. A whole damn week where her inner struggles to not think of him just got worse.

The night washed over the city, only with the twilight and the stars flickers enlightening the dark and empty streets of the city. She was in her house now, an underground place in Ketterdam.

Y/n paced back and forth as if she was trying to solve a puzzle to finally ease her thoughts, but instead, failed every time. Her mind kept replaying his voice, as she had memorized every detail, treating it like a meticulous plan: no flaws or loose ends. All she wanted was to forget him, to comply with the words that left his mouth like a hundred bullets:

"You better keep your mouth shut and never bring this up in a conversation ever again, y/n... Or else you'll regret it for the rest of your days," he had warned her back then, as he covered his bare hands with a pair of leathery gloves.

She regretted everything about that night; the way his neck seemed so tight, as if he was a disguised thief, holding back a painful scream. She remembered how the vein on the side of his forehead pumped fiercely as if it was trying to break free from his face. Anger rose inside her.

Why did he let her watch?

Was that a sort of "taunting you because I know all your secrets" improvised joke? Because yes, she felt the heat and arousal bubbling inside her when he fidgeted with his shaft that night. She even felt as if she was the damn cock in his hands.

But did he know all her secrets? Did he know that she hadn't reached the climax in years? Perhaps he even knew where she lived. It aggravated her that he let her see him in such a vulnerable state, so intime, so... appealing.

A tattoo was carved into her frightened mind. Did he do it to taunt her, then? Does he know all about her?

She discarded every suggestion. The only personal information she had divulged to Kaz was her name and skills. She had also warned him to keep her recruitment a secret, and maybe she had even mentioned how she preferred to keep to herself rather than socialize with the people of Ketterdam. So all her personal information was deeply buried in her mind.

What she had yet to realize was that Kaz had her entire birth chart stored in a well-guarded section of his restless brain. He always found a way to know everything, as he couldn't bear not knowing it all.

He somehow, and with the help of his witty brain, managed to get her full name and the address to her place. He had also discovered details about her lineage and parents, who were long gone either to hell or with the saints. It wasn't much, but considering the time it took him to obtain such valuable information, it was certainly something.

Y/n hadn't even sneaked near the Barrel to eavesdrop from outside Kaz's office. Her eyes were glued to the stonewall in front of her now, and the cold moonlight brought back memories of Kaz's figure. His image haunted her like a nightmare, constantly invading her thoughts for the past seven days.

She needed to let go, but she was certain she couldn't do it. She hissed in frustration, her back landing on the bed behind her. The cold bedspread sent shivers through her warm body. She was only wearing her underclothes, as she was alone in her home.

The place had no walls dividing the spaces except for the bathtub and toilet in the corner, where no natural light reflected on the porcelain washbasin or bath other than the warm light of the candles she had spread there.

Her gaze drifted back to the long, narrow window that looked out onto the bustling street above. In the morning and through the murky glass, she could make out the feet of pedestrians as they hurried past. It was a small connection to the outside world that faded at night. No pedestrians were outside now, mostly because all the nearby buildings were full of early workers and showmen waiting for the early hours to head back to their workspaces.

A few candles illuminated the dining room placed a few steps away from the kitchen, the warm light spread only to the border of her bed and collided with the cold tone of the moon. Still, the kitchen was dark, as the candlelight reflected on the only tall furniture in the kitchen. The stone step separating the table from her bedroom space prevented her from having a clear view of the entrance.

Back at the club, Kaz's stress had accumulated in the last few days and had now reached its peak. He fidgeted with the crow head holder of his cane as he sat in his office, his eyes fixated on the wall, his breath coming out in short, heavy gasps. His free hand tightly gripped the edge of his desk, causing his knuckles to turn white beneath the fabric.

To his right, a half-empty bottle of brandy sat on his desk, and untouched papers and bills piled up in a messy tower before him. He couldn't focus on them, not with her image haunting his thoughts.

《Where are you?》 he wondered as his mind drifted back to her face. He could recall the subtle movements of her thighs, the panic in her blushed cheeks as she tried not to get caught. It was all too appealing.

It was for the best that he cut the emotional ties with her. He had a club to run, money to make, and he couldn't afford any distractions. But he needed her for the job. He needed her unique set of skills. The way she could vanish into the shadows of Ketterdam like Inej once did. The only difference between them being a few distinguishable features.

He considered going to check if she was there, fearing that she might have left Ketterdam after their last encounter. He needed to be certain of her presence, otherwise, he would have to find someone else to do her job, which he didn't want to do.

As time passed, his anxiety grew, and he was unable to shake the memories of her from his mind. His thoughts were in turmoil, and he knew he needed to find a way to focus before it was too late. It shouldn't have been difficult to concentrate, given that he didn't like her.

Kaz didn't even realize when he left his office, unconsciously stepping out and leaving his cane on his desk. He didn't scold Jesper for flirting with Wylan at the bar when he was supposed to be working. Of course, the couple wondered where their boss was going, but neither of them dared to ask him about it. He seemed lost in thought as his leg wobbled a bit from the imbalance. His frown was deeper than usual, and one of his gloved hands was clenched into a fist at his side.

Fortunately, her place was not too far from the club, but it was far enough that, as if by a miracle, her slightly warm body became warmer, her cheeks flushed, and eventually, after a few minutes, she found herself breathing heavily. Her hands moved in time with her thoughts, and the images of Kaz, so vivid in her mind, only served to fuel her fire. She had done this a few times in the last week to try to free her mind of the torture his image spur her to do, at the same time that she put all her efforts to release the moan fighting to come out. This time felt different, as if her body knew something she didn't.

Unbeknownst to her, Kaz was nearby, clenching his teeth so tightly that it made his jaw hurt. It made him wonder if it was due to her absence from work, or the way she made him feel that produced this sort of reactive action.

He knew a knock on the door would be odd, considering that she told him she was not a very social person, hence didn't have any friends.

So, he decided to use his brain. He made sure to see if there was any visible light reflecting into the streets from the visible lower window almost glued to the floor. No light was visible. Good.

He knew she lived unseen in Ketterdam.

Like a fox hiding from the danger, without knowing the danger it held inside. He new it though, probably why he called her that.

He would just leave an envelope with the tasks he had for her and then he would leave. If she read it, she would show up in his office. If not, then she had made her choice very clear.

His lockpicking skills gave him easy access to her place. He tried to keep his limp as light as possible so as not to make his presence obvious. He opened the door with little noise, which was surprising considering it was a wooden door. However, the floor was made of pure stone.

He noticed the dark, small kitchen and immediately took in the warm light of the candles illuminating the rest of the space.

He thought she might have left the candles on, so he didn't take a wider glimpse of the room. He left the envelope on the dark counter and right after reaching for the door handle, he heard it.

His feet locked to the floor, and his chest stopped. Kaz turned his head to the side to take in the sound more clearly. It was as if someone was having a nightmare, with uneven but barely audible breaths. The table and chairs of the tiny dining room obstructed his view, preventing him from seeing the full scene.

His feet moved as a reflex, after silently closing the door before him, he took some cautious and slow steps forward. And then, when he got a clear view, a flame that he feared had been extinguished was ignited from the ashes, burning fiercely inside him. Evaporating all his senses of destruction and vengeance, and replacing them with a gutting desire.

He took in the scene, his hands were sweaty, his mouth slightly opened, and his chest heaving.

Whimpers.

He froze, not making a sound; like a sculpture, he didn't move a muscle. He just stood there, transfixed by the sight before him, his eyes locked on it.

On her.

She was caressing herself, one hand occupied with her breasts, fidgeting with her nipples, and the other under her panties. Her eyes were closed, portraying pain and torture, but deep inside her arousal increased with every touch.

She unlocked a part of her mind that allowed her to visualize Kaz in front of her. As she seemed to have found her only inspiration that may allow her to finally cum. Something she had avoided the last week.

She tried before touching herself thinking of something else, making up someone else’s face in her mind, failing relentlessly every time.

Now, in her mind, a bulge was evident in Kaz's usual black pants, his hands bare, and his cheeks flushed. The image made her wince from pleasure. Her lower lip was tugged between her teeth. Each brush of her hand made her body quake.

A few seconds later she opened her eyes, and she swore she saw her boss's face.

There, in the darkness.

He was staring at her intently, and for a moment, she stopped, bewildered. Her red cheeks acted like fire in her body, burning her entirely with embarrassment and excitement.

《Why are you stopping? I didn't stop when you caught me jerking off》 He thought. His brain took such action as offensive, breaking the pleasant view.

"Don't," the shadow spoke, panting, desperate, and begging almost.

Kaz Brekker wasn't the type of man who begged, not even when he was staring death itself in the face. But now his mind betrayed him, his words being a reflex to his needs.

His dark figure leaned closer to the bed, finally revealing his pale temple. Y/n's heart hammered in her chest as if it was trying to escape like a frightened child. "Don't... don't stop, y/n," There it was again, his voice roaring. His thoughts now sprinting out of an opened cage that would be too hard to lock again given the view. His hoarse and needy voice echoed along her soft gasps.

It took a few seconds for her to realize it wasn't a trick, it wasn't a hologram, something impossible to touch. Kaz Brekker was in front of her, his jaw looked tight, his expression sharp like a blade cutting trough her; his gaze taking in every inch of her skin.

He was like a starved animal waiting to finally get its prey after several failed attempts. He watched every movement, enjoying what he had craved several times where only his imagination was able to put it to work. Now, being real and having her in flesh and bones before him, he didn't want her to stop, nor would he allow it.

It felt as if the candles turned into a hundred torches. The heat around them was both pleasing and hurtful. He wanted to touch her, but somehow his hands were blocked to each side of his body. Loose strands of hair fell over his eyes, but it didn't act as a distraction, his focus being only on her figure. The drip of the several candles blended with the sound of her wet pussy.

His sharp blue eyes found their way to hers, an invisible string forcing to look each other, making it impossible for any of them to break eye contact.

Kaz made his way in front of the bed and sat in the nearby wooden chair. His Adam's apple wobbled as he swallowed hard. The bulge in his pants was evident now, just as y/n had imagined minutes ago.

"What...," her voice cracked, making it impossible for her greedy self to form a full sentence as she was overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. He cut her off sharply, in a demanding tone.

"Shush," he growled, the usual gelid expression covering his face entirely. He was fighting the urge to take his glove off and replace her own hands with his.

Oh, he wanted to squeeze those tits and lick her nipples so badly.

However, his hands still wouldn't move. He felt like a prisoner in his own body, struggling to break free. The uncertainty of how his body would react when he touched her still lingered in his mind.

"Just keep doing it," he demanded, his eyes moving from her face to between her legs, as to try to send her an indirect message of what to do next.

She pushed her underwear aside, mostly due to the desperation taking over her entire body, and for the hint she caught in his eyes. Her wet cunt being visible now.

Y/n closed her eyes, enjoying how she felt when she fingered herself, just as he enjoyed watching her doing so. Her mouth gaped as the shivers she felt took her higher with every touch, the orgasm closer with every passing second.

"Open your eyes," Kaz urged, his voice growing deeper and more desperate. He felt his dick pumping, trying to break free and holding back the urge to cum right then beneath the black fabric.

An inner fight with his mind allowed him to move again a few moments later. A pair of eager hands unbuttoned his pants, showing his greedy bulge over his black boxers.

Y/n complied with his orders and opened her eyes, only to catch him with his gloved hands now full of his cock, just like the other night, adding the fact that she was also with her hands occupied doing the same to herself.

He didn't even bother in taking his gloves off; he just needed to stroke it.

It went on for a few more minutes, with him watching her thrust her fingers in and out of her pussy faster, and she watched him stroking his dick. Both of them, with their arousals and voices, provided the only sound that bounced off every wall, echoing in their ears and carving like an unforgettable memory inside their minds.

With their eyes locked onto each other, their hands fully occupied, and a layer of sweat on their faces under the warm light of the candles, they finally came. Kaz was the first one, and he was more silent this time given all he wanted to hear was her, as he'd imagined: her voice breaking, her legs squirting, her chest going up and down as if she had just run a marathon throughout all of Kerch. He wanted to hear her say his name.

Y/n came a few seconds later, her voice breaking, the sound louder than ever between the walls, she finally gave in, letting the moan out. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and the next words would carve in the deepest part of Kaz's mind, like a catchy song that only he could give himself the pleasure of repeating. "Fuck— Kaz!" She yelled, not so loud but enough to make Dirtyhands bite his lower lip.

He compared what he had imagined to the view before him, they were quite alike, except for the lack of Kaz's touch on her skin.

It took a few moments for Y/n to ease her breathing. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling. Embarrassment washed over her as she didn't dare to look at the man in front of her.

His lips twisted and contorted into a crooked grin, revealing his satisfaction with what he had just seen. His usual dark eyes betrayed little emotion, but deep down he was afraid to accept the eagerness that burned within him. He wanted her and hoped to make her his right then and there, but the option of him panicking when touching her frightened his mind. It aggravated him: to have her in his gaze and not be able to feel her skin.

Hidden inside Kaz's heart, the flame was still on. He longed for the day when he would finally take his naked hands and feel how wet she was, with no intrusive thoughts in their way.

He took his right glove—now covered in cum– off, whilst still glaring at her body on the bed.

"I need your presence for the job," he muttered, ignoring the fact she was still naked, panting slightly, and her eyes lost in her thoughts.

She wasn't mad about him changing the topic. She hadn't yet found the words to say something anyways.

His normal façade cut sharp like a knife. He knew it was for the best. He tried to convince himself that there would not be a third occasion, given that, if he stood any longer, he would not cum over his gloves but on her stomach. And his hands would not be holding his cock but her hips, keeping her still in the bed.

"If you still want to work for me, I'll be expecting you tomorrow night at the usual time," he said, tilting his head toward her direction as he turned around to leave, taking her utter silence as a reply.

On the other hand, Kaz didn't want to say what echoed in his mind. An uncontrollable pull was trying to stop him from leaving, encouraging him to just give in to her. To finally betray his mind and let something other than revenge and money in his heavy heart, allowing his hands to touch someone else's skin.

He wanted to feel hers under his fingertips, to taste her breath in his mouth. Something that through the passing of months he never accepted until now. But words failed him as they often did, forcing him to repeat the same romantic situation he had with Inej years ago.

So, with the clicking sound of the door closing behind him, they gave an end to their interaction, which would allegedly be the last one, and both let out a long sigh of relief.

Putting an end to his torture of not being brave enough to touch her, and to her torment of not being able to feel his touch.

HII!! So, as I wrote at the beginning, writing this was a love-hate relationship considering my sudden motivation loss. I was so motivated writing this and then BANG, my mind goes blank as fast as Kaz's heart when he sees Inej haha.

Anyway, I really, reaaally hope you like it and if you don't then it's okay we can pretend that this doesn't exists 🫶🏻🤣

Tag list ( the lovely users that asked for a part two):

@outlawqueen17 @bunneex

@tiana76 @freddycarterswife

#kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker oneshot #kaz brekker smut #kaz brekker #six of crows #six of crows one shot

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fanaddicted2000 · 1 year

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Can we agree that Kaz takes naps?

He works so much with no regard for his health, and Inej obviously calls him out. This one time, as they were planning their latest heist, sitting on the floor with a mess of papers and files around them, she noticed him growing quiet at her side. His bad leg had been bothering him all day, and she guessed he had a headache from the slight twitching of his right eye. She says nothing, but begins to hum quietly a Suli lullaby she remembers from her childhood. Kaz nods off, his head slowly falling onto her shoulder - were they really sitting that close? She's wearing a light jacket over her shirt, so no skin is touching, but she stays still, just in case. His breathing is even, gently brushing her neck. Is it all right, he asks in a mumble, and Inej smiles softly. Yes dear, mene yaram, she whispers back. He breathes out and she continues to hum.

#six of crows #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #soc #kanej #inej owns me #kaz too #*cries in kanej*#inej x kaz #kazzle dazzle #kaz is a soft boy #change my fucking mind #lol you can't #fanfic #ao3 #headcanon #one shot #mene yaram is suli for don't worry according to wikifandom #still don’t know what i’m doing

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lunarphosie · 1 year

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Golden Hour. kaz brekker x fem! reader.♡ (not my gif!)

"It was just two lovers Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde, fallin' for each other."

They met on a winter night in the patio of a luxurious house, Kaz was surely carrying out one of his plans by the way his gaze danced between the entrance to the house and some bushes in the distance, waiting for everything to work out right, While she was just hanging out, pretending to be one more guest at the party taking place there, something she used to do to get some food, fun and even information from people in order to get some money, she was very good at it. Music played in the background as the girl took a seat on one of the benches, Kaz's gaze falling on her not long after. He was attracted to her and he didn't know why, maybe the fact that he noticed the things she did when talking to the guests at the party, the questions she asked and how good she was at questioning, or maybe it was just the fact that she looked beautiful at the time. She had also seen him, she noticed that he approached a specific type of people, the way a small smile appeared on his lips when he got the information he wanted, and even the discomfort spreading through his body when someone touched or invaded his space, he was interesting.

"Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish, no Donald Glover"

The sun was beginning to go down and the sky was tinted with beautiful warm tones, making the girl's beautiful skin color stand out even more. The way her hair layed on her shoulders and her eyes sparkled as she gazed at the building made all the air escape his lungs, it was just breathtaking to Kaz. The girl's eyes fell into his, and she couldn't help but smile when he tried to hide the fact that he was looking at her the whole time.

"Missed call from my mother, Like "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi"

She could notice when a boy leaned out of one of the windows on the second floor and seeked the attention of the boy in front of her, who seemed to be in another world still. The girl got up from her seat and took a couple of steps until she reached the side of the boy, who was now looking at her somewhat confused. -"I think your friend needs you to carry out your part of the plan." She pointed to the window and smiled slightly, it had taken her less than half an hour to notice that Kaz had something in his hands, something that surprised him because he did not expect to be discovered.

"I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin My radiant beam in the night"

Now that the girl was just a few centimeters from him, she looked even more beautiful, her skin that before looked like a porcelain doll now shone, her cheeks were a little pink thanks to the cold and he could notice those freckles and moles that decorated her face and neck, lining up as if they were a constellation. It took him a couple of seconds to take his eyes off her to turn to see Jesper, who now looked somewhat desperate, that was enough to realize that it was time to leave, so he nodded in the girl's direction and left, even when he didn't want to.

"I don't need no light to see you shine It's your golden hour You slow down time In your golden hour"

The days that followed he couldn't help but think about her, how even though the night consumed them she seemed to continue to shine, it was difficult for him to concentrate on his work and he was ashamed to admit that sometimes he looked for her in the crowd, thinking what he could tell her if he found her, and although he found her totally beautiful, he also knew how good she was at getting information from people and he had found out she had many more qualities, nothing that his crows couldn't do but he tried to convince himself that he needed her.

"We were just two lovers Feet up on the dash, drivin' nowhere fast, burnin' through the summer"

Time had passed and Kaz achieved his goal of integrating her into the crows, since she had arrived everyone could notice a slight change in Kaz's behavior. Everyone thought of her as an energetic, compassionate and loving person. The outings became more common, he didn't like to show it but he loved seeing his family happy, he loved seeing her happy.

"Radio on blast, make the moment last, she got solar power Minutes feel like hours"

Time flew when he was around her, who always managed to make Kaz Brekker's eyes have a certain sparkle, the one he lost many years ago. Moments as simple but with great meaning were recorded in his head, such as the first night that she dared to spend the night with him, sitting on the window sill reading while he advanced with his work, or the time when Kaz hadn't left his office for days and she took the time to go and leave him some food and try to get the boy to rest, which she achieved after several attempts.

"She knew she was the baddest Can you even imagine fallin' like i did?"

With the passing of the months it was impossible to hide his feelings for her and vice versa, both had fallen deeply for each other and there was no one who could save them from it. The brushes between hands began to be more frequent and intentional, so much so that when they were in the privacy of his room Kaz could take off his gloves and let his hands dance in the girl's hair, trying to abandon the fear. At first he felt like he was drowning all over again, but she always understood and was patient with him, now the water did not go past his hips, his breathing did not shake and the fear decreased when her skin was cold.

"For the love of my life She's got glow on her face A glorious look in her eyes My angel of light"

Words were not necessary for her to communicate everything she felt for him, with just a look Kaz could feel the love she had for him, she had been so patient and careful with him that it was impossible to not notice, neither of them had felt so loved before they met, and they accidentaly saved each others lifes.

"I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin My radiant beam in the night I don't need no light to see you shine"

Kaz was leaning against the edge of his desk, while the girl was standing between his legs, looking lovingly into the boy's eyes. The moon was the only thing shining at that moment (Kaz would say otherwise), making the moment even more romantic and intimate. -"If I told you about the darkness inside of me, would you still look at me like im the sun?" Kaz asked, it was hard for him to understand why her eyes shone so much when she saw him, it didn't seem true that she loved the bastard of the barrel so much. -"you will always be the sun for me." She said while bringing their foreheads together, because what he didn't know was that all this time she thought of him the same way he did with her, in her eyes Kaz Brekker shone in a way that no one else could, he was the light among all the darkness.

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muiltfandomsqueen · 11 months

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Kaz Brekker x Male Y/N Reader

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Warnings: Fluff and forgiveness

Pairing: Kaz "Dirtyhands" Brekker x male Y/N

Story type: one shot

Fandom: Shadow and Bone

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The air was filled with the scent of fresh bread as Kaz Brekker walked throughout the streets of Ketterdam. The sun was just beginning to set, and the sky was painted with hues of pink and orange. Kaz had just closed another deal with one of the city's most notorious merchants, and he was feeling quite pleased with himself. That was until he saw him.

Y/N.

Kaz had been trying so hard to avoid Y/N since the incident at the Ice Court. That night still haunted him, and he didn't know how to face Y/N after what had happened. But now that were standing just a few feet away from each other, and Kaz didn't know what to do.

"Hello, Kaz." Y/N said, breaking the tense silence.

Kaz did not say anything but just gave a nod in response. He couldn't bring himself to look at Y/N, afraid of what he might see in those beautiful breathtaking eyes.

"I have been trying to catch up with you for awhile now. I have something to tell you Kaz," Y/n said, his voice was filled with hesitation.

"What is it?" Kaz asked, still not looking over at Y/n.

Y/n took a deep breath in then out of his mouth before saying, "I know what happened at the Ice Court was a mistake..but I am willing to forgive you if you're willing to move past it too."

Kaz finally turned to look over at Y/n, surprised by what he had just heard. "You are willing to forgive me?" Kaz asked, unable to hide his shock.

Y/n had slowly nodded his head. "Yes. I know we can never ever go back to how things were before, but I still care about you, Kaz. And I hope we can still be friends."

Kaz soon felt a weight lift off from his chest as he realized that he did not have to carry the guilt of that night alone anymore. He took a step closer towards Y/n and said, "Thank you. And I am sorry for the hurt I had caused you."

Y/n gave a small smile and said, "Apology accepted."

For the first time in a very long time, Kaz felt like he could just breathe again. He and Y/n might never ever be able to go back to how things were before, but that was okay between them. Because the pair had each other and that was all that mattered to them.

#shadow and bone #one shot story #oneshot #shadow and bone series #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #male reader x male character #Spotify

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bookishdream · 1 year

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Something he wants

kaz brekker x fem!reader word count: 2k CW: a bit of unpleasant touching, but nothing further than that

If one peered carefully into the dark, they would see a pair of young adults walking down the cobblestone street. One of them – a man – limping and clicking his cane. The other one – a woman – with long hair and a magnificent dress, its colors conveying the moonlight. And they were arguing.

“I said no,” the man’s voice was hoarse, loud enough for his companion’s ears but quiet enough so that no one else could hear. “Your complaining won’t help change my mind.”

“You’re unbearable, Brekker,” she remarked, crossing her arms on her chest. The gown had puffy, tulle sleeves. The pattern of roses with thorns was woven into the fabric, cleverly covering her crow tattoo. “I told you I would go no matter what you’d say, so here I am. And you know we have a better chance of obtaining information using me as bait.” She let her arms loose, playing with the cuffs of her dress. It was cold in Ketterdam and her dress had a wide opening that showed her entire back.

“I don’t care,” Kaz rolled his eyes. The crow on his cane blinked mischievously, sending shivers down the woman’s spine.

“Kaz, no offense, but you’re as pretty as Pim’s rear,” she looked into his eyes. Obviously she lied. However, she would never admit that to anyone. “I am your best shot at getting whatever you need. And it will be a lot easier than breaking into his house.”

“You’re a stubborn thing, aren’t you?” he sent a smirk her way. Only later that night will he realize that a bit of red on her cheeks wasn’t from the freezing temperatures, but from the way he looked at her. And did he look at her, all right. Kaz didn’t pay attention to anything unless it looked like a stack of kruge on his desk. But when she had entered the Crow Club, demanding an audience with him, he had been stunned to say at least. Her hair had flown when she’d darted past Jesper, straight into Kaz’s cane.

“Pardon?” she’d asked, eyeing the crow on his walking stick. “Are you Kaz Brekker? If not, get out of my way”

“Saints,” Jesper had whispered behind her, his palms loosely on his revolvers.

“Why are you seeking him?” Brekker had said casually, the cane still in between the fierce creature and the staircase.

“Unless you’re Brekker, I won’t be speaking with you,” she had crossed her arms on her chest, eyeing Kaz. “But you are him, aren’t you? The cane, the gloves, Nina said you’d be unusual.”

“Un–” Jesper had started, but one look from the Dirtyhands had made him stop. “I’ll go guard the door”

“Good idea,” Kaz had finally let his cane drop, leaning his body on it. His eyes focused on the woman. “What do you want?”

“I need your help,” she breathed. He’d only raised his eyebrows. “I need you to kill my father.”

Since then, they had been working together. Y/n with her striking beauty would seduce merchants, when Kaz was robbing their pockets. In more or less legal ways – depending on their mood. Not a single soul was aware that Brekker had such a compelling ace up his sleeve.

“Kaz, please,” she whispered, her dress swooshing on the wind. “I dressed up, you can’t let my efforts go to waste.”

Brekker rolled his eyes, but he must have admitted that the dress, in fact, looked magnificent on the woman. The color lit up her eyes and the brocade corset was making her skin glow. Yet, he didn’t speak another word, pointing his cane in the direction of the perpendicular street. Y/n tilted her head. “Which house?”

“The one with the green door.”

“Give me twenty minutes,” she nodded her head in acknowledgment. “No mourners.”

“No funerals,” Kaz replied.

Y/n went down the street. The lamps were dimmed, not giving much light, yet she could see the path clearly. When she was younger, she would wander around this district, dreaming about being an important persona herself. She would pretend that she was a grisha. One day she would be an Inferni and the other she’d be a Heartrender. She would have to be careful so as not to get caught by stadwatch or worse – her father. He despised grisha, the littlest mention about their kind got his blood boiling. He would murder them. And he would make her watch.

When she got close to the door, she took a breath in. Her body tensed and her heart beating so fast, she could swear people down the street were able to hear it. She knocked, once, twice. No one answered at first, but a moment later she noticed a loud noise of someone making their way to the door.

“Who’s there?!” a man’s voice echoed from behind the entrance.

“Please, I need your help,” she strived to make her voice sound as desperate as she could. She forced her palms to tremble and she bit her lower lip. She promised twenty minutes and she needed to be a bit faster than that. “I-i got lost,” she stammered.

The door opened with a wide swing, the man’s face was wrinkled and he didn’t look as pleasant as she remembered from the photo. When his eyes laid on her body, she knew exactly when he thought about taking advantage of her. She knew what he saw. A broken girl, who looked like a doll, with her big, princess-looking dress, smeared make-up and a trembling lip. She couldn’t look longer than a few seconds at him, which he also took notice of. She was nothing but a broken piece to him. And she made him believe in whatever he wanted.

He helped her get up and while still touching her arms, he led her to the office or a living room, she didn’t know. His breath reeked of whatever alcohol he was drinking prior to her interruption. She wanted to grimace but kept her face straight, Kaz trusted her to get this work done and she didn’t plan on doing otherwise.

“So, darling, what are you doing in this neighborhood?” He forced her to sit in one of the armchairs standing opposite to the big, oak desk. “Such a fine, little thing getting lost in the night? You never know what can get from behind the corner.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She suppressed a shudder and only smiled, hoping she looked as coy as she wanted to convey. She wanted to punch him.

“My father was playing cards in one of the clubs,” she started, her fingers were trembling so she intertwined them. “I just wanted to take a breath, but I went too far and I got lost. I don’t know what to do…” she forced her voice to break. The old man’s face was focused on her lips the entire time she was talking, her heart beat with a new dose of uneasiness. Where the hell was Kaz?

“It’s okay, doll” he placed his fingers under her chin, lifting her head. She could smell a cigar smoke somewhere in the room. She didn’t notice that the lamps were dimmed and the heavy, dark curtains were blocking out the light from the street lamps. She discreetly scanned the room, looking out for any possible exits, but the merchant wasn’t as stupid as she originally had thought. There was only one way in and only one way out. Right behind her.

The merchant was looking into her eyes, searching for something. “You think you are so clever huh?” his hold on her chin started growing stronger, soon he moved his palm to her throat, squeezing it, cutting her airways. She sucked in a breath but couldn’t do much about her situation. “Do you think I haven’t seen you around this bastard Brekker?” He squeezed her neck harder, she could feel her eyes water. “Do you think I wasn’t aware you would be coming here tonight?”

She tried speaking, but her efforts came out fruitless. She saw in his eyes that he had no intention to let her go. She was happy she would die in a gorgeous dress, at least.

“Oh, no, no, no,” he tsked. “You won’t die tonight, doll, not until I get my answers.” The merchant let go of her neck, just so she could utter a sentence.

“I will never betray Kaz,” she spat on his face, clawing at his palm.

‘You bitch,” he let her go. Y/n saw an opening and kicked him into his stomach. She turned on her heel and made her way to the door, but the man managed to grab her waist and kept her in one place. “I wonder if Brekker cares enough for you to come here,” he whispered into her ear, sending shivers along her spine. She felt the hairs on the nape of her neck rising. She tried wiggling out of his hold, but to no avail.

“Actually, I’ve been here for quite some time now,” came a voice from behind the desk. This husky voice, whose owner she wanted to murder with her bare hands at that moment. “You have something I want, Marcus.”

Y/n saw Jesper on the threshold, pointing both of his guns in their direction. When she looked up, Zemeni winked at her, letting her body relax. She forced herself free out of the merchant’s arms and made her way towards the exit. She was trembling. She saw Kaz motioning for Marcus to sit on the armchair she was previously on. The merchant was making his way to this direction slowly, never letting Brekker out of his sight. How clever.

“I must admit, your bitch is a feisty one,” he put his ankle onto his other knee, resting his hands on the armrests. In a second his head flew to the right and blood was leaking from his cheekbone.

“Call her a bitch one more time and I will break every single one of your fingers,” Kaz remarked calmly, his demeanor still the same. “I came for the money.”

“I don’t have your money,” Marcus countered, clutching a handkerchief to his face. “I have never stolen from you.”

“You are mistaken,” he got up, pulling a paper out of his pocket. “You were about to steal from me, Marcus. That’s what you wrote to your acquaintance, isn’t it?”

The merchant sat there, wordlessly, his eyes wide. Y/n smirked into his direction, whistling. “You’re a naughty boy, Marcus, a naughty boy.”

The man only snarled at her, she rolled her eyes in response.

“Well, since you wanted to steal from me, all I want is a percentage of your shares in one of the clubs in the Harbor,” Kaz looked at Marcus, his eyes still locked on the merchant.

“You are crazy,” he yelled.

“And you are a dead man unless you agree. It doesn’t have to be a big part, just a small one would be enough.”

After some time, Kaz had his shares and she had a bruise around your neck. She could still feel the phantom of Marcus’s hands on her throat. Until it heals, she won’t make it go away.

“So now what?” Jesper asked, his revolvers back in his belt and a smirk on his lips. “You’re going to sabotage the rest of his clubs?”

She was looking at the pavement, but not hearing Kaz’s response, she lifted her head and sent him a look. “Saints, you really want to do that.”

“Why else would I want shares from only one club? It wouldn’t be much if there were five others now, would it?”

Jesper whistled at his words and resumed his vigorous steps towards the Crow Club. Y/n stayed behind, her legs heavy.

“Kaz?” she whispered. She saw him lifting his eyebrow. “Why didn’t you help me when you saw him strangling me?”

“I didn’t see it,” he replied.

“What?”

“I only saw him holding you and you were trying to elbow him. And y/n I wanted to smash his skull so hard that his brain would leak out of his ears,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers.

“That’s disgusting,” she breathed a light laugh. Her brows knitted together. “How did you get in?”

“A magician never tells his secrets,” he smirked, leaving her behind him.

#kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker one shot #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #shadow and bone #six of crows one shot #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishasworld #girshaverse

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5sospenguinqueen · 3 months

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Y/N: I did a bad thing.

Kaz: Does it affect me?

Y/N: No.

Kaz: Then suffer in silence.

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jahayla-parker · 1 year

Text

‘Til Death : Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: Blurb/headcanon and small fic for Kaz Brekker based on the Happily Ever After character series of fics; covers topics such as the proposal, wedding planning, who is in the wedding party, etc. leading up to -and including- the wedding day! Warnings: wedding, proposal, bachelor party briefly mentioned, SOC/SAB related topics.

Proposal

Kaz sat as his desk, pretending to be reviewing some maps.

In reality, his mind was spiraling a million miles an hour.

He had set a ring on top of y/N’s book that was sitting on their shared nightstand.

Kaz knew his breathing was short and erratic so he elected to stay silent as y/n came in.

Besides, he had left the ring for her in hopes she’d ask him about it.

He’d worked on communicating with her more directly over the last several years.

But, this situation was much more intense and intimate than he felt competent in with his current communication abilities.

Y/n smiled tenderly at him as she closed the door behind her, walking to his desk.

“Hmm, the books look okay?” She wondered, peering over his shoulder.

“Ooh, or, new heist then?” Y/n asked, Kaz smirking at the excitement he heard in her voice over the possibility.

Kaz shrugged, his breath still short and rapid heartbeat only worsening his predicament.

When his eyes didn’t leave the maps, y/n placed her hand in the air over his shoulder, waiting for his signal.

He nodded and y/n set her hands on his shoulders, giving them a short soft massage.

“Need any help?” She asked softly, stepping away to remove her Kaz’s coat from her body.

“No” he forced out, making y/n turn to him with a raised eyebrow.

She tilted her head slightly and smiled tenderly, “why don’t you take a break?”

Kaz nodded silently, fiddling with the papers on his desk as he mentally begged her to go read.

Almost as if she’d read his mind, Y/n walked gracefully to their bed.

She curled up against the headboard before reaching over to grab her book.

As her fingers touched the ring Kaz had left, he peeled his anxious eyes from her and turned back to the unimportant maps on his table.

“Kaz?” She questioned, holding the shiny ring up before her as she sat up rigidly.

Kaz hummed faintly in response, feigning unawareness.

“I-is this…?” Y/n whispered softly, spinning the jewel in her fingers.

When he felt her eyes on his back he nodded.

Y/n smiled to herself, standing up and making her way to him.

“Kaz” she began, standing next to him as he still refused to look her way.

“It’s beautiful “ y/n complimented, hand placed on the table next to his.

His eyes took note of the ring now placed on her second to last finger of her left hand, his lips curling up ever so slightly.

Kaz tore his eyes from her hand to look up at her, “It’s a yes?”

It was unusual for him to ask a question that he seemingly already knew the answer to.

But Y/n noticed the faint doubt in his eyes.

She smiled widely at him, inching her hand infintismaley closer, “It’s a yes Kaz”

He nodded back as he lifted his hand and placed it on hers, “good “.

Kaz watched as she stared at their hands and the ring on her finger with a smirk.

“Care to share why you’re smirking?” He teased, raising an eyebrow.

She giggled softly, making his heart flutter, “just thinking about how much I must love you if I’m not forcing you to actually ask”.

“Y/n” he began slowly, making her turn to him.

Kaz took a deep breath and resisted the urge to divert his eyes, “will you… I want to… will you marry me?”

Y/n eyes shimmered even brighter, bringing a soft smile to Kaz’s face before she even answered.

“You didn’t have to truly ask Kazzy, I was giving you a hard time. But yes, absolutely” she smiled widely.

Kaz let himself smile back, locking her hand in his as he slid his fingers between hers, “I know I didn’t have to”.

“I wanted to” he added, more confidently as she quietly stroked his hand with her thumb, “I want to marry you”.

Reaction Headcanons

I feel this section goes without saying, yet I digress

The crows were the only ones who were allowed to know of their engagement and pending wedding.

In part due to safety concerns (aka Kaz continuing to be overprotective of y/n), but also because they had always been a private couple.

The crows were all thrilled of course.

In fact, they’d (despite Matthias and Inej suggesting they shouldn’t do it) bet on when Kaz would finally propose.

To be fair, they also bet on how he would propose; but the couple had kept that information private despite protests and pleas from the crows (most of which were silenced upon Kaz’s deathly glare; apart from Nina [whom mentioned she’d sensed his uncontrollable heart rate and breathing the other night and assumed it was that or …. -which earned another even more intense glare from Kaz])

Jesper had bet that it would be another year before Kaz would do it.

Wylan was more optimistic and bet it would be sometime that week (although he had a considerable advantage in that Kaz had randomly asked him a ton of questions about various gemstones not too soon before [such as which would scratch less, shine more, etc.]

Nina had suspected he’d wait for y/n’s birthday to do it. But the night she sensed his intense breathing and pulse she changed her bet.

Jesper and Wylan of course complained she cheated, but when Kaz and y/n glares at the three of them for having bet on their relationship at all, they dropped the argument.

Best Man Headcanons

Jesper was of course Kaz’s best man.

And, Jesper no doubt freaked out when ‘asked’

Although since it was Kaz, y/n had to push him to do so

And even then it’s just done in a very casual manner over drinks at the crows club following a heist before Kaz nods his appreciation and exits the room.

Kaz was truly more thrilled than he let on about Jesper accepting but he refused to show it

Bachelor Party Headcanons

Jesper of course wants big party but knows Kaz wouldn't.

So Jesper staged a safe (otherwise Y/n would’ve killed him if something happened to Kaz during the party) heist

The point of the heist was to obtain an item for Y/n from one of the merchants’ houses.

Kaz was impressed by the thoughtfulness behind the gesture and was more than thrilled to do it.

Wedding Planning Headcanons

Planning was minimal

As they just wanted something small and intimate

Kaz was debating even doing it alone but admitted (only to her) that the other crows were like their family now

Y/n offered to wear gloves for the ring ceremony during the part where she’d put on his ring.

But Kaz rejected the offer

While he wouldn’t admit it, even to her (mostly due to still struggling with the consistency of it), he (typically) loved the way her hands felt

And he was a man of tradition and wanted her to get the best day he could offer her, so no gloves.

For either of them.

Which came as a shock to the crows.

They’d debated/bet on if either would wear gloves for the ceremony in the week leading up to it.

They had seen Kaz without his gloves before, but only in rare moments and never in such an important moment, nor when the crows would be focused on his hands like they’d be for that moment.

When it comes to y/n and Kaz discussing their plans for the wedding, it was usually during brief talks late at night

The talks would take place while they were alone after a long day, talking for a few minutes before falling asleep after reaching a choice on the one topic they’d discussed that night.

Wedding Day Headcanons

They held the ceremony outside of Ketterdam

In the forested area of Lij.

Mostly for the purposes of safety and privacy

But also because he (& therefore y/n as well) wanted a location that was more romantic & sentimental (although he claimed it was only because y/n deserved that and not because he wanted such a thing himself).

The crows were all somehow involved in the ceremony.

It had been y/n’s idea to have their loved ones take part in it, secretly hoping it helped Kaz feel more comfortable with them being present as they ‘officially declared’ their love before others (only the crows) as they would be seen as required presences and not just guests.

Jesper was already Kaz’s best man

Inej and Nina had seen to the decorations (for the ceremony and reception) and food, and they shared the role of Maid of Honor.

Wylan played his flute for the processional music.

Matthias conducted the ceremony.

The stray pet y/n rescued off the streets of Ketterdam (despite Kaz’s apprehensions at the time) was led down the aisle before y/n (lured by Jesper through the use of some peanut butter)

Kaz felt he maintained a stoic look while y/n walked down the aisle to him.

But his crows knew him well enough to see the loving gaze his eyes held.

And y/n could see the way his eyes were ever so slightly more dewy than normal.

During the kissing portion of the ceremony, they did so through y/n’s thick white veil.

They had shared more intimate kisses before, but neither didn’t want to risk associating the day with his trauma by pushing it.

Nor had they even held hands directly in front of the others.

As planned, there were no gloves involved

But, y/n maintained minimal contact as she slid his ring on his finger.

Kaz reciprocated the method, being cautious of the level of skin contact as well as he slid her ring on.

Yet, as they walked back down aisle together, Kaz boldly chose to increase their contact by wrapping his hand around her fingers.

When he noticed that even though the others were nearby it didn’t trigger him as much as he expected, he kissed the back of her hand

His lips having landed right next to her wedding ring.

They held a tiny and intimate reception

The reception was also hidden outside of Ketterdam, inside the forested area near Lij

Kaz of course, did not dance, but watched in secret glee as y/n spun around and danced with their friends.

Kaz did feel guilty for not being able to dance with y/n in front of their friends; the way Wylan and Jesper had at their wedding a year earlier.

Yet, he was also proud because he did however, manage to hold her hand or at least maintain physical contact with her hand throughout most of the reception.

Towards the end of the reception, Kaz silently tugged y/n’s hand and discreetly led them away from the clearing where everyone had gathered (Inej no doubt noticed but the rest were too busy dancing and partying)

He tenderly walked them out of the clearing in the forest and off the typical path.

Once they were in a smaller clearing between the trees and shrubbery, where the others couldn’t see or hear them, he smiled deeply at her; his wife.

It was at that time he risked a short, minimal, and faint kiss to her lips, this time without her veil in the way.

While it wasn’t as deep of a kiss as he wished he’d be able to offer, it was nonetheless an incredibly sweet kiss.

And the exquisite smile he earned as a result, made his cheeks flush a dark shade of red while he mentally swore to himself he’d do whatever it took to be the reason she kept smiling like that

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Tag list: : @directioner5life @ell0ra-br3kk3r @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @nikfigueiredo @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

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