#k back to marks stream bye again

[someone1348]

Day 4!! Yeahh!!! This is so much fun thank you again Fizz for this amazing week! I'm having a blast! @fizzthelee

The people in this: Lee!Tommy, Ler!Philza

Tw: none this is very soft

I'm so hyped, I hope you all enjoy!!

-K :]

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Day 4- Lee Mood!

The started like any other, he hopped onto the smp to see what was going on, stream for a bit with his friends and found family and just overall enjoy the day!

And he did absolutely have a good day! It was a blast as always! but there was a slight problem. You see during the stream, Wilbur and Tubbo kept pranking Phil and when Phil got at his breaking point in a joking way of course, he could never actually be mad at them, he let out some angry giggles and said

"I am going to tickle you both the next time I see you if you don't stop" the smirk evident in his voice, Phil wasn't kidding too, Philza Minecraft means business when he's mad.

But it caught Tommy so off gaurd and with that came the thoughts that flooded his mind of what was just said and other tickly things, Phil being the absolute Tickle monster he, it was one thought after the other, He almost died in the game because he was so distracted with the Lee mood that slowy but surely crept up on him. Soon enough he did fully slip into a lee mood, he tried to keep it under wraps though so chat wouldn't be suspicious but geez was it hard

He couldn't help the heat that rushed to his cheeks when Phil said something like that or similar to that the rest of the day. The tickly feeling ran from his neck all the way down his spine and around. Thankfully no one else was streaming but man this was so difficult to keep down, this was a bad one.

Tommy worked a bit on auto-pilot after that and decided that he would try pranking him too, it was certainly not going to help the lee mood but it would give Phil an excuse to Tickle him Tommrow when he sees him, it was the only plan Tommy could think of on such short notice.

So he did, he pranked Mr Minecraft! And the outcome was,,, well it didn't go quite like he expected, all he got from Phil was a sigh and a "Tommyyy!" That followed the sigh.

No tickle threats or anything, he just went back and started chasing Wil with tickle threats and giving Tubbo the 'im gonna get you next' face.

Tommy went on deafen so he could say bye to chat because the hour mark had just hit and he wasn't planning on streaming for an extensive amount of time.

He gave his love to chat before going back on undeafening and seeing no one around

"Im back guys,,, where are you lot?" But no one said a word, they all were in a different vc, this was so strange. He joined their Vc and continued the game.

As each hour passed his Lee mood grew and grew, Kristin even came in at one point and Phil tickled her, It only made the feeling grow more!

"Hey Mate is it still alright for me to come over tomorrow?"

"Yeah Definitely Phil! That's the plan!"

"Perfect! I'll be there around 12 tomorrow"

"Excellent I can't wait!"

"Why can't I come?" Wilbur said jokingly, he'd see Tommy soon, their schedules just didn't align perfectly yet.

"Because you've got band practice Wil!"

"Right!"

Everyone laughed together, it was such a comfortable atmosphere. Everything just felt right, Home.

After he said bye to everyone Tommy sighed slowly sinking down into his chair, his Lee mood never went away! The heat rose back up again to his cheeks as he thought about the events that had just occurred before.

"Uggghhh!!!" He covered his face, lost in giggly thoughts before heading over to scroll through social media. He had recently gotten tumblr because Eret said it was nice there and Tommy agreed it was very lovely! So lovely in fact that he made a secret second account for moments like this.

While scrolling through he found a Lee!Tommy and Ler!Philza fic that just made him slip into an even more giggly headspace. He just kept scrolling through letting himself slip into full lee mode, thinking that some sleep would take it away! Haha! Oh how wrong he was.

One tickle dream later and a text from Phil saying that he was on his way was more than enough to keep the tickly feeling flowing through his body like oxygen.

"Im not ready yet!" He scrambled to organize his room, brush his teeth and get something other than pajamas on.

After he got everything settled Phil knocked on Tommy's apartment door. Tommy opened the door with delight, "PHILL!!!" of course Tommy greeted him with his big bright smile and open arms!

"TOMMYY!!" Phil of course returned the blondes energy giving him a big hug before walking in more as Tommy shut the door.

"Thank you for coming all this way to help me fix my PC I don't know what's wrong with it"

"Of course anytime Tommy anytime!"

Phil went to Tommy's office and got to work. Tommy really didn't want to disrupt him but his Lee mood got the better of him! He waiting a bit of course, he did want his PC fixed still

"I think I see the problem, it's an easy fix"

"Oh yeah I think I see the problem too! It's right here!" He poked Phil's side as the older flinched "Tommy I swear!"

"You're giggle button is broken Phil im helping you fix it! As you said it's an easy fix!"

"Alright thats it!" Phil swooped his head out from underneath the desk preparing to tackle hug Tommy to the ground before the boy tried running

"AH!-" Tommy screamed as Phil smirked grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him into a hug

"Gotcha'~"

Tommy couldn't help it, he immediately covered his face and bounced his leg happily as Phil smiled at him

"I haven't even started yet," he gently took Tommy's hands placing them under his knees "these stay here, I wanna see that bright and bubbly smile the whole time okay Tommy"

Tommy closed his eyes nodding with the biggest smile on his face

"Great job sunshine! Now where should I tickle first, hmmm so many great options, your neck makes you squeal for a second and then all of the happy giggles come flowing out like honey, it's so sweet, but then your stomach makes you laugh the loudest and that bellybutton is oh so ticklish, I'll get there though definitely, we have to make sure your giggle button still works too Tommy, ooo but those sides of yours are so fun to tickle hmm I'm lost, where was I, maybe I should start over~"

"Phiihihihillll!!!!"

"Hahaha! Okay okay! Here I come Tommy, you better look out I've gotcha now! Tickletickletickletickle!" Phil smirked as he placed his tickly fingers under Tommy's arms, slamming them in immediately trapping his fingers as he threw his head back trying to slide down but to no avail

"PHIHhiHiL!"

"Dawww does it tickle Tommy?~"

"YEheheAH! AHAHaha!"

"Good! Tickletickletickletickle~ hehe I'm gonna get youuuu~"

"PLehehease! GEhEhet OhuHUT!"

"You've trapped my hands Tommy"

"NoHoHo I Haven't LeHeHEHEHE- PHIHIHIL!" Phil giggled with him as he got his hands out mid speech and squeezed the blondes sides

"You're so ticklish Tommy, it is adorable"

"NOHOHOHO, PhIHhihIL! IhiHIM NoT HaHA TIHIHhihicklISH! PHIHIHIL!! QUhihit IT!"

And with that phil took his hands away as Tommy looked at him with confusion,

"y-you didn't actually have to stop, y-you can you know, keep going if you want"

Phil smiled hands just inches above Tommy's ticklish stomach "Oh I know I just wanted to see your reaction" and with that he dug gently into the fabric of Tommy's red t-shirt

"PHIHHIHIHILLL!!!!" Tommy's hands came loose and he fell back against Philza's chest sliding down as Phil's tickly fingers discovered every inch of his tickly torso leaving no spot untickled.

"HAHAHAHA!!"

"You've got such a wonderful laugh Tommy" Phil smiled whispering 'Tickletickletickletickle and Tktktktktktktk' in his ear

"PHIHIHIL IHIHIHIHIT TIHIHICKLES SO MUHUHUHUCH!"

"Kitchy Kitchy coo~"

"NAHAHAHAAHA!"

"Let's see if your giggle button works sha'll we?"

"Nonononono! Wait! Thahat won't be nehehessacaharyyEEHEHEHE PHIHIHIL!!!"

Phil dipped a finger in his bellybutton after circling it for a bit as he spoke, wiggling it around as Tommy threw his head back once more

"Everything seems to be in tip top shape giggles!"

"DOhohoN'T CAHALL ME GiHiHiGGLES! OHOHOHOLD MAhAHaN!" Tommy joked as Phil laughed with him,

"Alright thats it!" Phil moved Tommy to have him lay across his lap, pushing his shirt up a bit before taking a huge breath in and blowing a big raspberry onto the center of his ticklish tummy

"WAITWAITWAIT-PHIHIHIHILL IHIHIM SOHOHORRY! HEHE! IHIHIHIHIT TIHIHICKLES!"

Phil giggled and blew more tinier raspberries all along his stomach "MEheHercy!"

And with that phil stopped, for real this time, as he wiped away all of the ghost tickles and held Tommy close as he caught his breath

"You're soho mean Philza minecraft" he joked as Phil ruffled his hair

"You asked for it!"

"Hahaha!"

"The PC can wait a second, here take some water and relax yeah?"

"Okay! Thank you Phil!" He took a sip of water and went to lay down on the bottom bunk of the bed in the office as Phil went back to working on the PC.

Once everything was fixed he turned to confirm the soft snores that filled the room came from Tommy, the blonde was asleep, Phil smiled taking a mental image of the moment before putting a blanket over top of him and writing a note for Tommy to read when he woke up.

"Sleep well kiddo, you deserve it King"

---------------------------------------------------

I hope you all enjoyedd! I had a blast writing this one! Have a wonderful day my friends you all truly deserve it!

-K :]

#k writes tk things #fizz's lee tommy week #lee!tommy #lee!tommyinnit #ler!philza #ler!philzaminecraft #mcyt tickle

[bma-2021]

anyways great people u should follow and love and adore and send nice things to??? @banschivs and @jokethur ur welcome

#out. #i'm on a computer but i'm literally only on a computer to watch mark's stream lMAO #anyways I've known abi since either 2013 or 2014 #whenever I saw syfy alice and sb who i dont think writes anymore that was a dw rper directed me to abi #literally w the exception of jessica frm until dawn abi pmuch only writes characters that mally adores #fighty? yes. cares abt all the little nuances and handles things like addictions and depression and such incredibly well? check #jessie i met thru abi n jessie is also lovely n cares v v v deeply abt her muse and abt abi and its all lovely and great and you will not be #able to find enough good things in the world to say abt them #abi will insult herself but dont let her shes actually perfect #k back to marks stream bye again #i have slept a total of one hour today but my mom impulse bought a new ipad so now i get to keep her old one #which since im the only person who was usign it im just like gr8 i can play games on it and draw and actually semi see what i am doing #maybe i should finally put audible on it and listen to the audiobooks i spent money on and havent listened to while drawing but will i #why do that when i can listen to mark screaming as hes murdered by mutants again lol #k now brina takes another leave #shes here but not here #bc mark #hes destroyed almost everything hes build in the like hour and ah alf they've been back on the forest its so fckn funny #bob accidentally destroys marks gazebo last time and this time mark keeps accidentally dropping trees on his builds AFTER flaming wade lmao

[randomshipperhere]

Pokimane ISWM stream summary 1 of 2:

Part 2 here

Things to note: I didn’t watch the 2 streams he did on twitch and IG to make us watch Poki’s stream. Saw the retweet and booked it.

Mark commented a LOT so this post has to be separated into two parts and I’ll do my best to give context to each one.

Y’know before she started going on the adventure I really hoped for once chat would pull through and make us see Illinois but I was so disappointed from the first option because I knew that it would all lead down the Plan K end so every time poll came up after that I just went for the unpopular vote. I didn’t want to go down without fighting.

First up, Mark getting modded. Poki first planned on making Mark a VIP, she un-VIP him and made him a mod by getting rid of someone else.

The as intended one is referring to Mark giving Poki a go for simping on Celci.

As you can also sorta tell Poki talked about her role and Mark commenting on how not a lot of people caught on to it. She also got baited real hard with the fake options. She got jeba(i)ted as twitch chat would say.

We jumped in 5 times….

Mark’s saying thanks because Poki applauded his acting skills.

I was actually super with Mark on this one. I may like fire at the wormhole better but that’s with context of my own run. Also Mark managed to overrule chat’s 70% vote and you know what chat? He’s right. Y’all should go signal.

First evil laugh is because his wish got granted on going Distress Signal. Chat got to see Lady D. Very many Wug fans.

Mark went quiet in chat for a small bit here.

Can’t really recall what the question was that made Mark answer “yep” in this.

YOU HEARD IT HEARD FOLKS. The PLAN K bideo stands for kablooey!

More evil laughs that I can’t remember why they happened… I mean I know it’s Dorene but uhh forgot the specific reason.

Poki talking about how you shouldn’t trust grandmas without them cookies. The ending.

Her first end is 1 of the unique ends. She goes back to step in the wormhole after.

Bet you feel bad is referring to when Lady confronts you about destroying universes.

lol no comment is made when Poki says that old man Mark lookes like the you’ve been gnomed meme. Honestly before he replied I knew what his answer was gonna be. The daydream was super vivid in my head for those few seconds.

In order. The buh-bye is kinda obvious. Mark confirming part 2 is on May 2. He gives her permission to watch it when it drops. Poki asks if he wants to say anything to which he replies “naw”.

Once again, Mark thanking Poki for watching it. Poki wanting to be do the Noir stuff.

Yeah… Poki may need some help Mark ^^;;

“Now you’re thinking” referring to the scene where Noir Mark gets proud in his head about accomplishing the wormhole stuff and Poki turning it into a thing irl where if you mess up bigly you can be proud of messing it up bigly or something like that.

Guess ED the skeleton js now sodapoppin. Good eye is for the “That’s not me” mug.

Open the door options. I was actually conflicted here because I knew how Mark would react to it knowing his previous behavior…

He also basically said don’t let chat influence if you want to open it or not but he did kinda usher her to not open it so…. Mark you hypocrite lol

There it is. He’s making fun of Dark again 😭 shut it you menace. Yeah just open the door 3x Poki.

That’s it for Part 1/2 of Mark in Poki’s chat shenanigans, he still did more stuff and there’s a fee other things that happened that I’d like to speak about.

#photo post #markiplier #iswm #in space with markiplier #pokimane

[marvels-writings]

Something Beautiful

Maria Hill Masterlist

Requested by Anon: Hi!! I absolutely love ur writing!! I was wondering if u could write a Maria Hill x fem!reader and they’re like married with a little girl and R gets hurt on a mission with Maria and Maria is trying to keep R conscious until the medical team arrives by telling R stories abt the day they got married, the day they adopted their daughter, their babies first birthday with them, etc. With a happy ending pls! Thx!!

Word Count: 4.4 K (long and angsty but def worth it)

A/N: This took me four days to write. So worth it. Take my advice and read it.

Warnings: A bit of gore, a bit of blood

Moonlight streamed lazily through the blinds. The sounds of a movie playing in the background and a soft lullaby filled the room as you rocked your daughter, putting her to sleep. She had been having a harder time sleeping knowing both of you might be gone when she woke up. It had taken you hours to calm her down, let alone put her to sleep.

When you began to take a little too long to put her into bed, Maria joined both of you. Her figure stood in the doorway, distorting the light coming from the hallway. You tucked her in, pulling the covers up to her chin before sighing.

“Do both of us have to leave?” You asked, probably for the millionth time in the last few hours. Seeing your daughter so upset was harder than you had anticipated.

“Y/n,” Maria began with a sigh, reassuring you time and time again. “you know we have to.”

You sighed again, stroking her hair gently. This wasn’t the first time you had to leave on a mission. You doubted it would be the last. But both of you were leaving. Not just you or Maria. One of you couldn’t stay home to reassure her that the other would be alright. You were leaving your daughter without either of her mothers.

Nervousness still nagged at you. You knew she would be safe, more than anybody. After all, she was in the Avengers compound surrounded by superheroes. All of them would be around her, all the time. It didn’t make sense to be afraid, but fears are never rational.

“She would be safe,” Maria assured you, patting your back. “she’s in the most protected facility in New York.”

Maria stated the obvious, over and over again in hopes of reassuring you. It did little to comfort you. You knew she was trying to help you, her nervousness wracking her all over, she just didn’t show it.

“I know,” you sighed, hoisting yourself off the bed and giving her a small smile. Your hand slid into hers like it had so many times before. Your fingers squeezed hers in assurance, fear just underlining it.

“let’s let her sleep.” You said, tugging her out of your daughter’s room.

Both of you left, not before glancing at her one last time before morning came. Closing the door behind you, you headed towards your room in the compound. You and your wife had decided to bring her to the compound to sleep rather than rushing through the motions in the morning.

Laura didn’t seem to mind, neither did the rest of the team. They enjoyed having Laura there more than anyone. Most of them seemed adamant about spoiling her, even Natasha. The redhead claimed to be her favorite aunt, a notion no one dared to contradict, even Wanda.

————

Morning came quicker than you had expected. Even after all the hours it took you to fall asleep, the sunlight streaming through your blinds seemed like it had taken shorter to come there. You knew that wasn’t the case as you got ready early for your mission.

Getting ready for a mission with your wife was usually noisy and involved multiple shouts to double-check everything. Now, it was quiet. Whether it was in fear or anxiety, you didn’t know. But you didn’t want to disturb it, scared of starting another argument about leaving your daughter alone.

In all honesty, the mission wasn’t that important. It was a basic recon mission to get information from an abandoned HYDRA base before they took it down. Nothing the Avengers or a basic SHIELD agent couldn’t handle. But Fury was adamant about having both of you there just for security. Despite yours and Maria’s best efforts, you had to go on the mission.

Everything was packed. The jet was ready. All you needed to do was leave, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to go.

Just before Maria dragged you onto the jet, somehow having more willpower to leave than you. Natasha came through the hangar doorways, your sleepy daughter in her arms. Laura’s head lolled from side to side as she tried desperately to keep awake.

“Nat, what are you doing?” You asked, heading over to both of them, tapping Maria’s shoulder on your way there. Your wife turned around and followed you towards your daughter. Laura reached out for both of you when you were just feet away.

“She wanted to see you before you left.” Natasha sighed, guilty for letting the little girl guilt trip her into this. The redhead knew neither you or Maria wanted her awake while you were leaving. Laura’s puppy eyes and pleading far too convincing for her to resist.

“Sweetheart,” Maria sighed, softening when she took her daughter into her arms.

Her posture softened slightly as her arms stroked her hair. Still holding onto some composure, she said her goodbyes softly, showing less affection than she normally would around your daughter. Maria cared too much about what others thought about her to be less professional.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about being professional if your family was concerned. Everyone who knew you knew your family mattered more than anything to you. It didn’t matter to you what a random stranger thought of you. All that mattered was your family.

Once Maria said her goodbyes, you eagerly scooped your daughter out of her arms and excitedly twirled her around. Laura’s giggles broke out. She squirmed slightly to get away from you as you hugged her tightly.

“Mommy!!!” Laura squealed, her arms flailing.

Maria watched both of you lovingly, a small smile painting her face. You twirled your daughter once more before holding her in your arms. Her little face looking up at yours eagerly.

“Now, we’ll see you,” You smiled at her, bumping her nose playfully. The little girl giggled, waving your hand away from her face. Smiling, you leaned your face so your nose nudged against hers, causing her to laugh harder.

“The second we get back, okay?” You said, a sad smile creeping onto your face as your goodbyes came nearer. Laura sighed and hugged you tightly, sleep still threatening to take over her tired form. Natasha would put her to sleep once the two of you left.

“Miss you,” Laura muttered sleepily into your chest. You sighed and patted her back gently, pulling her closer to sleep. Maria moved to eye level with your daughter, lifting her chin to face her.

“We’ll miss you too,” Maria said, smiling at her sadly before kissing her forehead. The little girl closed her eyes, leaning into your wife’s touch.

“But we’ll be back before you know it.” She said hopeful, pulling away so you could say your goodbyes. Standing by Natasha, she watched you nuzzle your nose against Laura’s playfully. The little girl still sleepy, but staying awake so she could say her goodbyes to both of you.

“We love you,” You said, squeezing her tightly before hesitantly handing her over to Natasha.

“be good for them.” You kissed the top of her forehead, pulling away to catch her looking at you with sad eyes. Her hands grasped for you a little as you pulled away, breaking your heart to leave.

“I will,” Laura replied, her little hand waving in the air at both of you.

If she had begged either of you to stay, you would have stayed without hesitation. The little girl was much smarter than you gave her credit for, knowing if you left for one day you’d be home for longer.

“bye Mama, bye Mommy.” Laura waved as both of you walked away and into the jet. You smiled at her, watching her through teary eyes.

“Bye sweetheart,” Maria said, waving at her while walking into the jet. She turned the switch to let the hangar doors shut closed. A sigh left your lips when you couldn’t see her anymore.

You moved to sit down in the cockpit while Maria joined you in the pilot's seat. There was nothing to do until you got there. The ships automatic guiding system would take you there, even land you. You needed something to do, maybe rechecking the bags, anything else.

Maria sat next to you, watching out the window in silence. Her hand crept towards yours until she could secure your hand in hers. The gentle touch the only thing bringing you comfort. They thought you would see your daughter in two days bringing you more comfort.

You would come back, there was no possibility where this could go wrong. Even if it did, you would make it back, you had to. Your daughter needs you, nothing else mattered.

————

More went wrong than anyone had imagined. The info you had received was false. The base was crowded with HYDRA agents. The rest of the team you’d been sent in with, about 20 people you’d hardly gotten the names of had gone in with you. So far, only 10 had made it out. The other ten, you’d lost.

Maria had gotten everyone she could find out while you were getting the information. The information was in your hand, but it came at a high cost. The three guards you had to fight to get it were on the ground. But they had left their mark.

Your ribs were cracked and some were even broken as you limped towards where your wife was. Each breath was painful. Maria’s hand slid into yours as she tugged you towards the exit. All you wanted to do was lie down and rest. It was the last thing you could do.

“Just a little further,” Maria urged, grinning to herself when she saw the exit in sight. The helicopter was another half a mile, but she could call the chopper in a little early. Both of you knew it would still be another half an hour before you were safe.

“we’re almost out.” She pulled you further until you were in the last corridor. You chuckled and pulled her to a stop, needing a rest. Breathing ragged and broken, you leaned back against the wall.

“Always the optimist.” You remarked, eyes fluttering shut in relief as your ribs stopped jostling. Maria chuckled and squeezed your hand, wiping the cut on your forehead. Your blood came off on her hands, she wiped it off on her suit and helped you up.

“Only for you.” Maria winked as you chuckled, letting her help you towards the exit.

A HYDRA agent stood in the corridor, gun pointed at both of you. The thing that struck you first wasn’t the gun, it was his age. He was barely 20, scared out of his mind. He was only doing what his superiors told him to do. If that meant to shoot your wife, so be it.

You couldn’t let it happen, instead of jumping protectively in front of Maria. Your eyes locked with your attacker’s for one brief second. He flinched as he pulled the trigger. The explosion sounded in the room, evidence he’d shot. As he glanced down at the gun, still not believing he’d used it.

“NO!” Maria shouted, the explosion echoing in her ears as your body felt against hers. Her knife was drawn the instant he was about to shoot again. Without a second thought, she threw it at his chest, unbothered to see if he was dead.

You were sure she had never killed someone that easily. Even on missions, when someone had killed a member of a team, she showed them mercy. Now, the knife was burrowed into his chest, a pool forming around him.

Silently, Maria helped you outside, ragged breathing filling the air around you as you were helped onto the grass. The tiny blades slowly turning red as you were laid down upon it. Maria began to apply pressure onto your wound, wincing when you cried out in pain.

“Hey, stay with me okay?” Maria said rapidly, her free hand cupping your cheekbone, leaving your skin stained with your blood.

“You’re safe?” You asked, wanting to make sure she was okay. Clenching your jaw tightly, you tried not to show you were in pain. Her hands shook as she applied pressure, wedding ring digging into your wound.

“You’re the one that’s stabbed!” Maria shouted in panic, blue eyes meeting yours. She was alright if she could yell at you, she was okay. Letting your head loll back, you chuckled weakly. The sky above you was a bright blue, seem so happy, so beautiful, oblivious to what was under it.

Your wife rang in on comms for a medical, her face morphing into anger as she shot out a series of commands. After some whispering on the comms, she told them she would wait and cut out. Her hand returned to your wound. Her wedding ring slowly getting stained with your blood.

“Just a few minutes, stay awake,” Maria begged, pressing harder on your wound when your eyes began to flutter shut. “please.”

your body jerked in pain, trying in vain to get away from the pressure on your wound. You couldn’t help the groan escaping your lips, knowing it was hurting your wife to see you like this.

“So tired.” You muttered, head lolling lazily from side to side as your eyes began to flutter shut. A hand came up to cup your cheekbone, staining it with blood, lightly patting you awake. In a panic, Maria shook your shoulder, still applying pressure.

“Stay awake for me, okay?” Maria pleaded, moving up to make eye contact with you. “For me, just keep your eyes open.”

Her eyes met yours, bright blue searching yours for a will to stay fighting. Gulping, you clenched your jaw tightly, biting your tongue to keep yourself awake. It wasn’t helping. You remembered learning in training to keep talking to someone if they were bleeding, it helps them stay awake.

“Maria, tell me something.” You whispered, hoping she caught your weak words. Both of her hands centered on your wound, stopping the bleeding.

“What?” Maria asked jaw clenched tightly as she adamantly refused to show any emotion.

Too many things running through her mind, she couldn’t lose you. You, the person who had taught her how to love. The amazing person who had married her and brought life into this world. There were too many stories you would never get to tell, too many memories you would never get to make.

“I don’t know,” You tried weakly to shrug when a weak smile crossed your face. “tell me something beautiful,”

Maria pursed her lips, searching her mind for something to tell you. A story she made up wouldn’t do anything, maybe a memory. A beautiful memory, like your wedding. The details came to her mind quickly, she started talking about them rapidly.

Everything from the table setting to the people invited, she didn’t miss a single detail while describing it to you. The first song, your vows, the first dance. She romanticized everything, making it seem more beautiful than it could have been, though she doubted it was possible.

It still wasn’t working, your eyes began to flutter shut again. Your breathing slowed. Your head stopped lolling from side to side. You were slipping.

“Please, y/n,” Maria begged, her left hand coming up to stroke your cheek. The wedding ring scratching against the skin. “stay awake.” you didn’t show any sign of waking up, your body relaxing as your breathing slowed. Clenching her jaw, she tried harder.

“If not for me, for Laura, she needs you.” Maria urged, shaking your shoulder to try to keep you awake. Hearing your daughter’s name, you stirred and squirmed, keeping your eyes open.

Your eyes met hers, trying to urge her to talk about your daughter, to tell you to stay awake. You knew you couldn’t leave, no matter how tired you were.

Maria began to talk about your daughter. The day you brought her home. The day she started walking. Her first birthday. Everything. She wove it into a fairy tale of sorts, managing to convince you that your life was a dream. A dream you couldn’t leave.

For a while, it was working. Your eyes were open wider as you looked around for the medical team. They were only a few minutes out, the jet was already visible as they made their way to you. Maria saw it too, a grin forming on her face as she continued to describe your daughter’s first day at school.

As the blood seeped out of you, you began to lose more of your conscience. Your responses were blurry and slurred, she had to shake your shoulder to try to keep you awake. She could only pray the medical team came faster. There was only so much she could do.

In the middle of her sentence, she heard a buzzing from your suit pocket. A light frown on her face, she stopped speaking. Reaching into your pocket, she pulled out your phone. Natasha’s name was on the screen, she was calling you.

Both of you had told Natasha to only call in emergencies or if you were late. Maria could only assume it was one of the two. She sighed and held it up to your face, knowing it would ring for a little longer.

“You were supposed to leave this in the jet,” Maria muttered, ready to push the answer button when she noticed you were trying to speak. A lazy smirk spread across your face as you reached for the phone.

“Couldn’t help myself.” You smirked, still reaching for your phone. Maria rolled her eyes and answered the phone. Laura’s voice sounded on the other side, but she cut her off before she could talk.

“Hey sweetheart,” Maria greeted, whacking your hand away from the phone. “we’re a little busy right now.”

“Can I talk to mommy?” Laura asked, cutting off her mom. Maria blinked in surprise, she knew her daughter missed you the most when you were away. It was something you teased her about constantly, jokingly of course. But she never thought your daughter would call you because of it.

“In a second, can you hand the phone to Natasha?” Maria asked, persuading the little girl to hand it over to the redhead. Shuffling sounded on the other side as the phone was handed over.

“Sorry, she wanted to talk to Y/n and she was about to start crying,” Natasha confessed nervously, knowing Maria won’t be happy about it. Maria sighed into the receiver, ready to give Natasha an earful about letting Laura do this.

Before she could, you reached for the phone again. Maria glared at you and applied more pressure on your wound in a warning. You winced, still reaching for your phone before Maria whacked your hand away again. You couldn’t talk to your daughter like this, it would scare her. Death frightens the young the most.

More shuffling sounded on the other line. Laura cleared her throat angrily before speaking into the receiver again. She had been spending too much time around Tony and Natasha.

“Is mommy there?” Laura asked, almost pleading Maria to hand the phone over.

Hearing your name, you reached over again. The brunette couldn’t deny you to talk to your daughter. She knew you wouldn’t do anything to scare her, let alone let her know you were in any sort of pain. Handing over the phone, she watched you lift it to your ear before you started speaking.

“Hey,” You greeted, a bright smile crossing your face. Maria glanced nervously at the wound, hoping it wasn’t still bleeding. It had slowed dramatically, the only thing she could do was try to bandage it to make it easier for the medics.

“Mommy!” Laura shouted excitedly on the other line, causing your face to break out in a larger grin.

“how’s my favorite, favorite girl doing?” You asked, stuttering when Maria lifted your shirt and cool air met your wound. Laura didn’t seem to pick up on the pain in your voice.

Instead, she began to ramble about what she had done in your absence. It had only been a little under a day that you’d been gone, but she had done so much it felt like weeks. The avengers had tried their best to keep her occupied and her mind off of her mothers, it still hadn’t worked.

Her rambling continued, you made a hum or a short laugh whenever the moment called for it. Every laugh hurt your ribs a little more, but you didn’t mind. It made Laura happy to know her mother had paused a mission just to talk to her. You weren’t about to take that away from her.

Maria continued bandaging your wound, only stopping when she saw the medics approaching. They had all their gear ready, even a gurney to help lift you. Her stomach lurched when the severity of the situation sunk in.

“Y/n, the medical team is here.” Maria nudged your shoulder, you nodded to her. Waiting for Laura to stop rambling so you wouldn’t need to cut her off. But the little girl kept on speaking a mile a minute, adamant on covering the last few hours in a matter of minutes.

“Laura?” You interrupted, using her name. She stopped immediately, knowing you only used her full name when you were serious. You usually called her pet names or even nicknames, only by her full name when it was something serious.

“I have to go for a bit,” You said, hearing a loud sigh on the other end. “but me and Mama will see you the second we get back, okay?”

Another sigh sounded before she seemed to agree. Not wanting her mothers away from her but knowing you would come back soon.

“Okay mommy, will you be alright?” She asked curiously, noticing you’d been quieter than normal. You smiled at her concern, wanting nothing but to be home with your daughter.

“Of course, I love you, my daughter.” You reassured her, sniffling a little. Maria nodded to you, ready to take the phone away when you held it closer to your ear. Laura usually didn’t say it back, implying it instead when she hugged you after. Still, you hoped you could hear her voice say it.

“I love you too mommy, I miss you,” Laura admitted quietly. A smile broke out on your face. You wanted to hand the phone to Maria so she could get her goodbyes in. But there wasn’t enough time, there never is when it’s needed most.

“I miss you too baby, I’ll be back before you know it.” You assured, speaking quickly to get every word in before Maria took your phone away. Her hand quickly snatched it away, ending the call as the medics approached you.

They lifted you on the gurney, the bloody bandages hanging off the gurney, dripping onto the ground. Maria followed you despite the medic’s warnings. Her wedding ring still soaked with your blood. One hand held her phone tightly, the other reaching for you.

You were brought into the ambulance, an oxygen mask on your mouth. You’d passed out, in pain or out of blood loss, no one knew. Your body was limp. The heart monitor was attached to you, the steady beeping of your heart the only sign you were alive.

The medical team hurried to patch you up. Peeling off the bandages and sewing it up. Nervous eyes flitted up to Maria’s. Her intense glare making sure you were treated with the best care possible. The medics were careful, patching up the wound so you would barely feel any pain.

They continued to tend to the rest of your injuries, but they needed the jewelry off to clean you. Maria took off your wedding ring, holding it in her hand, wiping it off in vain. Your blood was on your ring, she tried to wipe it off with grubby fingers.

Sighing, she put it on the ring finger of her right hand, holding the phone with the same death grip as before. Maria didn’t let you out of her sight, even when you were being escorted from the ambulance into surgery.

The door slammed in her face, guards escorting her away from the scene. She tried to enter but found herself too numb to do anything. Instead, taking a seat in the waiting room, refusing to leave.

It took a few hours for the surgery to get over. Even longer till you were awake. Maria sat by your side through all of it. The wedding ring was back on your finger, cleaner than ever. She had slipped on the second she got the chance.

Half the day passed before you woke up. The moment you were awake, you wanted to see your daughter. You’d been away longer than you’d promised. It didn’t matter if you were injured, you needed to see your daughter.

So Maria got you out of the room and on the jet back to the tower. On the way there, you took a nap with your head resting on Maria’s shoulder, your left hand intertwined with hers. The wedding rings clinking together whenever the jet shook.

The sound comforting Maria, along with your soft snores. It assured her you were here, you weren’t leaving her. She spent the entire time awake, guarding over you, feeling lucky you were there with her.

Once the plane landed, Maria helped you out of the jet. A few of the guards took your things inside. Natasha appeared at the doorway with your daughter holding her hand. Laura grinned at both of you, oblivious to the way your back was hunched over as you walked.

“Mommy! Mama” Laura screamed, running towards both of you.

Grinning back at her, you straightened up and opened your arms. Maria patted your shoulder in a silent warning to be careful. She nodded to Natasha as a thank you, the redhead nodded back while the little girl barreled into your arms.

Twirling her around in your arms, you ignored the pain. Your daughter buried her head in your shoulder while your wife gently patted her back. Smirking, you leaned down to whisper something in her ear.

“Told you we’d be back before you know it.” You whispered, Laura giggled and pulled away.

Maria propped her up on her shoulders while the three of you walked inside. Laura chattered away about how much she had missed both of you. You were oblivious to the chatter, too caught up in the emotion of being back with your family.

Your wife had been right. The life you had was like a dream. A beautiful dream you never wanted to end.

A/N: Save my sanity and tell me what you think!

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @hstoria​, @natasha-danvers​, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart  , @never-didbefore​ , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @wlw-imaginesss , @hcartbyheart , @summergeezburr , @imnotasuperhero   , @a-stressedstudent , @aaron-despair , @rooskaya-yelena , @thewitchandtheassassin , @wannabe-fic-reader , @izalesbean, @higherfurther-romanova   let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

#marvel #marvel x reader #marvel x female reader #marvel x female!reader #marvel x fem reader #marvel x you #marvel x y/n #marvel imagine #marvel one shot #maria hill #maria hill x reader #maria hill x female reader #maria hill x female!reader #maria hill x fem reader #maria hill x you #maria hill x y/n #maria hill imagine #maria hill one shot #cobie smulders #my writing #my fic #MYC’s writing

[biaswreckingfics]

I GOT SO MUCH TO SAYYY!! gosh pls dont find me weird okay, and these are just my personal opinions and im not hating any groups!! but my unpopular opinion is: i think kpop has become very toxic after bts and bp got famous in America. And tbh if you ask me, i wouldnt want any other kpop groups to be famous in America... i only stan exo but i think i speak for all groups when i say they are safe as they are now... of course if exo ever get even more famous i will be happy and proud for their success. But look how fame and America has changed bts and bp... not tryna hate but look theyve changed, idk if anyone else noticed but after fame hits bts, i realised how theyve start to become very...white?? like they are so westernised and like example, they start focusing on America only, they even curse (not a lot but i’d still point out) casually like for example, jungkook singing a curse word in his cover song for jason derulo savage love i think (speaking of cursing, after nct127 got famous in usa mark started getting influenced by them too and he casually cursed like “oh fuck” and everyones like 😃😆) even i curse and im not saying cursing is BADD but yeah i am, and how they sing a whole song in english, not to even mention how toxic america is but in grammys they have sold tons of albums yet they didnt win anything but when they release an english song, they won.

Some half of them americans are very toxic, racist, and just theyre basically acid, like bruh, its evident that once bts got famous there are soooo much hate thrown towards bts too cuz theyre asians, or how some would say theyre gay or look like girls...if my favs (exo) ever get these kinds of treatments (not that they dint but veryy little cuz thank god they ain exposed to the western culture) i will B R E A K, i could never handle that so i would never want that to happen to them. Also noticed how, after bts got famous, most armys are equally as toxic, whether they are just stanning bts just cuz theyre famous there, or like how their fans dont even know anything abt bts and coming after so many groups and their fans. Most of them are fake and i think its cuz of the fame for bts lmao. One thing i’d like to say too tho, is how they are so overrated and their songs are played all the damn time, people would randomly talk abt them, like everywhere you go THEY ARE JUST THERE, like in my opinion if i am an army, i would just feel like they are so common and theres nothing special about them anymore and theres no excitement, like what even is the point anymore. idk if anyone gets me but thats just how i feel about my favs being “wOrLdWiDe fAmOuS”, i will love them and their music but its just something i think about tbh🤷🏻‍♀️ like let me listen to them on my own and vibe and love them, dont play it 24/7 just cuz they are famous and ure tryna get people’s attention, like imagine ure in the subway and u hear ur favs song cuz its EVERYWHERE and ure there like 😐😐 not that u dont love their music but its cuz horrible people dont deserves to listen to their songs, and like people arent going to appreciate them anyway so yeah i feel uncomfortable listening to my favs as others dont even bother, like imagine if that subway is filled with people who are in ur fandom, yall would just hv the best time in the world and VIBE, if not what even is the point. Idk if im explaining it properly, but its badically like, u feeling UNCOMFORTABLE or should i even say SELFISH cuz u do not want to be sharing ur favs with people who dont even deserve to KNOW about them. Basically like seeing how someone you HATE or bullied you back then talking and being all friendly fake with ur BESTEST FRIEND or even boyfriend/girlfriend, cuz u just want to protect them from EVIL (im so dramatic)

And well lastly, no Bts did not paved the way, or “bts is the best and only group” like no, so many amazing artists were breaking records way before bts was even a thing (no hate to bts) but they really need to get slap for having that mindset, they really make a bad image for bts...tbh kpop before was so peaceful (a little toxic but still, compared to now...BYE) and everything was just about idols and fans love, listening and supporting and loving their music and just so comforting... urgh anyway thats all i wanna say and here are some texts i saved relating to kpop groups going famous worldwide uwu

these are also examples, and honestly speaking here, i dont want to be specific as in “exo” cuz i think this happens for ALL the groups out there and the love and relationship between the idols and their fans (family) are just beautiful, but for bts and armys... tbh i feel bad because i just dont see or feel any love they hv for each other (sure we see bts saying i love you armys or armys supporting bts but with all the toxicity in their way, theres just no spark or chemistry or bond no more it’s basically like one direction and their fans and thats all they are, celebrity-fan, but for kpop its family), i can see other groups and their fans interacting or how idols would light up talking abt their fans, but for bts, theres just soooo much mess going on in their fandom its not special anymore, they lost the deep meaning of their group love and IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but YEAH DJSHSKSJ OH and to add somethign else, they got famous in America, look at all the collabs🤡🤡 blackpink with cardi b, bts with nicki etc... not that collabs arent fun... im just saying these american artists... they dont exactly have a good reputation (americans singing about sex (not the good kind), money, girls and drugs) 🥴🥴 dont influenced my faves and let them be exposed to the toxic culture YALL GET ME?? KPOP HAS THE LETTER K FOR A REASON😭😭😭 let them be their own shining star, not everything has to be involved or a part of aMeRiCa to be amazing.... PHEW IVE SAID IT NOW BEFORE ANYONE GETS MAD AT ME, I DONT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE TO YOU, if youre an american and youre no where near being toxic, I LOVE YOU but im just saying, the western culture is toxic and im just saying what ive been observing and noticing🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ ps: i still love exo till the max and everything about them is perfect and theyre just amazing people (everything i said that bts and armys dont really have anymore, i think thankfully, EXO (sorry im biased) most fandoms still have so much of the L O V E there and i find that extraordinary) and he fandom is so comforting and amazing and idk dkdjjdjss thats why i dont want them getting famous worldwide...sorry exols ANYWAY THATS ALL FOR MY RANT ITS 4AM AND I AM THINKING OF DELETING THIS💀💀💀 anywya sorry for taking up so much space but i just wanna say I FREKAING LOVE NO EXIT, NO LIMITS, basically all ur exo fics cuz why not🥺🥺 i think ur writing skills are amazing as well as the plots and all especially forsaken, and THANK YOU for two bbhxoc fics😭😭😭 i cant!!! also if u reached here idk i-🥲 i hope u didnt get mad or offended 👀

Reply under the cut!!

Kpop has become extremely toxic with the growth of international fans and the rise of 3rd/4th gen. I wasn't around to experience the previous generations, but I know damn well they weren't a mess like these newer ones are.

Gaining fame in America does seem to change idols, and idk why. The group members change and the music changes also. While I do enjoy hearing idols swear (guilty pleasure) and I am an American so I get to enjoy their English songs, I can see how it makes all the other cultures/countries feel some type of way.

I will say this, though, the Grammys are shit and I dont get why people care so much about them. They've proven time and time again the awards don't go to the best artists. However, this doesn't mean that I think BTS deserved a Grammy imo.

Americans are a very toxic and hate filled bunch (again, I am one, so I get to see this shit every day). I 100% know that some of the hate directed towards Asians is because of racism (as seen by the insane uptick in crime against Asian Americans right now) and because some see kpop male idols as too feminine.

BTS is literally everywhere, which is one of the reasons I stopped listening to them tbh. They'd be in commercials, on talk shows, late night shows, in magazines, on the radio, just everywhere. It took the joy out of watching anything from them just because they were always in my face, so I can see what you mean.

I feel like the relationship between BTS and army has changed (from an outsiders perspective). Its no longer about loving and supporting your group and being happy for them. Now, its "so-so wants this? We MUST do everything in our power and spam every possible thing ever so they get what they want". Its almost frightening. They also no longer care about the quality of the music being put out. Doesn't matter what it is, they stream the ever loving shit out of it and make it break records when, honestly, it doesn't deserve to (again imo).

Lastly, I didnt get mad or offended haha. I understand a lot of these viewpoints, and thank you so much for liking my work!! I do wonder what would happen if I made a true BBH centric fic and not just spin offs or continuations of previous works where oc ends up with BBH 🤔🤔 I think that fic would have too much power haha.

#unpopular kpop opinions #sehunsthetics

[404gendernotfound]

Living with a Hybrid Part 2 (Hybrid!Taeyong x Reader)

Summary: Your first day with your new companion Taeyong starts not in the best way, you keep feeling guilty and he tries to cheer you up throughout the day. While you’re shopping for clothes for him you get to know things about his past life and his owner. You decide to try and end the suffering for other androids that meet his previous owner.

Contains: angst, fluff

Warnings: mentioning of abuse

Wordcount: 5,2 K

Enjoy!

A/N: I was playing around with including some of the other boys in this story and decided to put Johnny and Mark as a couple into it. They are going to play a small role in this as the owners of a pancake shop called “Pancake Paradise” located on the first floor of your apartment complex.

Part 1

________________________________________________________________

I woke up having to go to the bathroom. I carefully shuffled out of Taeyongs grip and went to the bathroom connected with my room. After I was done, I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand as I returned. It was only 7am but I was already awake and not sleepy anymore. I decided to quickly shower and get dressed to buy something from my favourite bakery downstairs. Before I left, I wrote a note for Taeyong.

“I’ll quickly get some breakfast for us. I’ll be back asap”

I laid the piece of paper next to him on the bed and quietly left the bedroom. I put on my shoes and locked the door before I headed downstairs. On the 1st floor was a little bakery called “Pancake Paradise” who made the best pancakes in the world. I walked in and already greeted the shop owners I was friends with since I came to live in this apartment.

“Good morning, Y/N”, Johnny greeted my while Mark was working on some pancakes a few meters away from him.

“Morning, boys. I’d have some pancakes to go, please”, I said and waved at Mark who now looked at me.

“The usual?”, he asked and already got some more pancake dough from the fridge next to him.

“Make it double”

“Uhhhh. Does someone have a boy over?”, Johnny asked smirking.

“It’s not like that. I found an injured hybrid yesterday on my way home and brought him to my apartment. He was scared and had nowhere to go.”, I explained and Johnnys jaw dropped.

“Damn. These abusive owners these days. We just had a pair here last week. The bunny hybrid with the boy was covered in marks. I wasn’t sure if it where bruises from abuse or something else. It looked frightened that day.”, Mark said looking up at me.

“Have you asked it what happened?”, Johnny asked interested.

“I did. But he began to cry so I decided not to ask until he comes to me by himself. I don’t want to pressure him”

“You said him. What’s his name?”, Mark asked putting some pancakes on a plate.

“Taeyong”

“You can ask him if he wants to hangout sometime when you’re at work. We could use a third person in the shop.”, Johnny suggested while he packed my pancakes into a bag.

“I will. I’ll take him with me next time I visit, I promise”, I said while I grabbed the bag from Johnny and gave him the money.

“See you”, the boys shouted in unison as I was about to leave the shop.

“Bye”

I walked to the elevator and waited for it to arrive. It didn’t take long until I got back to the 5th floor and walked to my apartment. I unlocked the door and opened it. What I found behind it almost broke my heart again. Taeyong was sitting next to the door with his head on his knees crying almost in the same position I found him yesterday. I closed the door while placing the bag with the pancakes on top of the shoe cabinet. As he heard the door close, he looked up with tears streaming down his face, stood up and jumped into my arms. He hugged me tight before he began to bang his fists against my shoulders.

“I hate you. I hate you. I HATE YOU!”, he cried while he hit me.

“Hey. What’s wrong? What happened?”, I asked and grabbed his wrists to stop him from hitting me.

“You promised you would be there when I wake up. You weren’t there and when I wanted to go and look for you the door was locked.”

“And you though I locked you in and left you here, right?”, I asked and he nodded.

My heart broke right then and there. I pulled him into a hug and softly stroked his hair trying to calm him down.

“I left you a note that I was just quickly downstairs to get some breakfast, but you must have missed it. And I’m sorry for locking the door. I’m just used to locking it after I leave since I’ve always lived alone in this apartment. I’m really sorry that I broke my promise. I wanted to surprise you but I guess I failed”, I explained.

He slowly stopped to cry and let go of me. Taeyong looked at me sad-eyed and one last tear rolled down his cheek. I reached out to wipe it away, but he flinched and moved away from me. I felt really bad for leaving him alone.

“I’m really sorry”

He turned away from me and crossed his arms. I got out of my shoes and grabbed the bag of pancakes and walked into the kitchen. Taeyong followed me without saying a word and sat down at the kitchen table. I took out the pancaked that were still warm and placed them on two plates. I carried them to the table and placed one of them in front of Taeyong. I then returned to the counter and searched for maple syrup, strawberry jam and some vanilla ice cream. As I found everything, I placed them on the table and sat down.

“You can eat now. These are for you. I hope you like them”

Taeyong looked at me and then took the maple syrup to pour some over his pancakes. He then put it back on the table and began to eat. I watched him while he took his first bites and then slowly began to smile a bit. He caught me staring and frowned. I looked away and began to eat mine with a bit of strawberry jam and ice cream.

“Thank you”, he mumbled after some time and after I looked up, I saw that he had already finished his portion.

He looked at my plate and then back at me.

“Would you like to try?”, I asked and he nodded.

He grabbed his fork and stuck it into a piece of pancake, dipping it in the jam and letting me put some ice cream on it. He tried it and hummed happily.

“Would you like the rest?”, I asked and he shook his head.

“It’s yours. I don’t wanna eat your food”, he explained.

“It’s ok. You can have it”, I said and moved the plate to his side.

“Really?”, he asked and his eyes sparkled for a moment.

“Yeah. Go on. Eat up”

Taeyong happily ate the rest and then stood up. I thought he was going to leave the kitchen but instead he came towards me and sat down on my lap. Surprised about his behaviour I carefully wrapped my arms around his waist and looked at him.

“I’m sorry.”, he apologised and nuzzled his head against my neck.

“You’re not mad anymore?”

“No”

“You’re sure? It doesn’t sound like that”, I said and began to tickle him a bit.

“Yeah. I’m sure”, he giggled and quickly grabbed my hands to stop me.

“I’ll search for the spare key so you can use it whenever you want”, I announced and earned a confused look from him.

“I can stay here?”, he asked and I already saw tears building in his eyes again.

“Of course. You said you had nowhere to go and it’s quite lonely in this apartment”

“Is that all?”, he asked and looked at me with curiosity in his eyes.

“No. I like you and you’re kinda cute”, I smirked at him and pinched his cheek.

“I like you, too.”, he giggled while his face turned a faint pink.

“Thank you”, he said and nuzzled his nose against mine.

I used this opportunity to quickly press a soft kiss to his nose. He blushed even more and tried to hide his face behind his hands. I then began to tickle him again. Taeyong started to laugh wholeheartedly and tried to wiggle out of my grip.

“Stop”, he laughed and tried to grab my hands.

“Oh. Are you ticklish?”, I asked as if I didn’t know that already and looked at him innocently.

“Yes. Very much”, he giggled and squirmed on top of me.

“What is the magic word?”, I asked smiling and still tickling him.

“Stop, please”, he begged and grabbed my hands as I stopped.

“Good boy”, I said and reached out to pet his head.

My praise made him smile and he pressed his head against my hand. I chuckled and ran my hand through his fluffy hair. He was just the cutest person on this planet. We sat there for quite some time.

“What do you wanna do today? I have a day off so we can do whatever you want to do. And we should definitely go out and buy you a collar”, I said and ran my fingers over his exposed neck.

“A collar sounds good and I need some clothes”, he mumbled and closed his eyes as I continued to run my fingertips over his neck.

He must be really sensitive there because he already got goose bumps all over his arms and neck.

“We’ll get everything you need later. For now, let’s just stay a bit more like this”

“Ok”, he mumbled and wrapped his arms around my neck pulling my head against his chest.

I now was able to listen to his heartbeat. It was fast and I thought the reason was that he was anxious but as I looked up at him, I saw a big smile on his face. He seemed to be really happy right now. I hugged him tight once more before I signalled him to stand up. I then grabbed his hand and walked to the front door.

“Wait here a second.”, I said and walked into the bedroom.

I searched in the desk for the spare key. I thought I had placed it with the others but it was nowhere to be seen. I finally found it under a few documents. I walked back to Taeyong who had sat down on the shoe cabinet.

“Open your hand”

He opened it and I placed the key in it. He stared at it and then back at me.

“Welcome home”, I said and smiled at him.

“Thank you”, he thanked me, stood up and hugged me.

I hugged him back and smiled. Now he had a home he could come back to. Now it was my mission to make him feel as much at home as possible. We parted again and I went to put a pair of shoes on. Taeyong watched my every step and then tilted his head.

“Where are you going?”, he asked.

“You mean ‘where are we going’. You are coming with me. We need to get you some stuff to go out. You can’t walk the streets looking like this”, I said and he looked confused.

“There are two boys that can help us for the time being until we get you some clothes later. Follow me”

He looked down at his feet and then at mine. He was probably wondering if he should follow me in his socks.

“I sadly have no shoes you can wear. That’s where those two boys come into my plan. Just come with me”

I held out my hand and he grabbed it. We walked out the door and I looked at him. He took out his key and locked the door. Taeyong looked so proud when he looked back at me. I pet his head playfully and then walked to the elevator with him. As we reached the first floor he began to smile as he saw where we were walking to. He must have recognised the logo on the paper bag of the pancakes.

“So this is where you went this morning”, he stated and then kept walking towards the door.

“Sorry”, I mumbled still feeling a bit bad for leaving him alone at the house.

The automatic door opened and the little bell above the door rang. Johnny looked up from behind the counter and smiled at me as he saw us. He nudged Marks side who now looked at us too. I felt Taeyong tighten his grip on my hand. I squeezed his hand trying to tell him that this was ok. We walked up to the counter and Johnny smiled at Taeyong.

“Taeyong, right?”, he asked and the slightly scared hybrid next to me nodded.

“I’m Johnny and this is Mark. We own this place and we are good friends with Y/N”, he explained and I noticed Taeyong relax a bit.

“We came here to ask you guys a favour. He needs some fitting clothes for the time being until we got him some. So maybe you can lend us something for a few hours until we’re done with shopping?”, I asked and Mark smiled.

“Of course. Johnny can take on the shop for some time alone. Taeyong, you can come with me”, he said and walked out from behind the counter to our side.

Taeyong looked at me with a confused look. I squeezed his hand once more and leaned to his ear.

“It’s ok. I’ll be waiting here. He is a nice guy. He is safe”, I winked and he let go of my hand nodding.

I saw Taeyong follow Mark out of the shop. I turned to Johnny who had a slightly worried look on his face.

“You ok? You look like a mother letting go of her child”

“I’m ok. I’m more worried about Taeyong. You should have seen him cry this morning. I wasn’t there when he woke up even though I promised and he was so scared that I had left him. I don’t know if he will ever lose his anxiety around other people. He was almost trembling as we walked in here.”, I explained and Johnny listened carefully.

“He will be fine. I can tell by the way he looks at you. You are his saviour right now. That’s why he wants to spend all his time with you. You shouldn’t worry too much about him. Taeyong seems strong and if he manages to warm up to Mark and I we can be there for him too. Then it’s like a small family he gained and he will feel a lot safer. You are not alone with this”, he reassured and smiled at me.

“I knew I could count on you guys”

We talked a bit more about some stuff until the bell on the door rang again. I looked towards it to see that Taeyong was walking next to Mark holding his hand and smiling. I was a bit surprised by the view before me. I didn’t think he would warm up so someone close to me this fast. But I was happy to see him this smiley. He looked really good in the clothes Mark had given him. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, a jean jacket with a striped pullover under it, a black hat and a pair of white sneakers that looked great with the rest of the outfit. Mark whispered something to Taeyong and his eyes lit up. He then let go of his hand and walked towards me. Or should I say he almost ran. He stopped in front of me and smiled at me.

“How do I look?”, he asked and spinned on the spot showing me off his outfit.

“You look great, Taeyongie”, I praised him and pat his shoulder.

“Mark said you would like it”, he said and smiled at the younger boy behind the counter.

“Oh he did?”

I looked at Mark who winked at Taeyong who started to giggle beside me. Looks like they’re already friends. Taeyong stepped closer to me and grabbed my hand. I smiled and look at the handsome boy next to me. What a cutie.

“We’re ready to go, right?”, Taeyong asked and whipped back and forth on his feet.

“I guess. Then see you boys.”

“See you. And have fun”, Mark and Johnny shouted after us in unison as we left the shop.

We walked through the lobby where a few people were passing us. Some of them looked at Taeyong. I noticed his tense next to me. As we left the building, he stopped walking and looked at me.

“Why were they staring at me?”, he asked a hint of confusion and uneasiness in his voice.

“They looked at you because you’re new in this building and probably because you are a very handsome young man”, I explained and squeezed his hand.

“Y-you th-think I’m handsome?”, he stuttered and slightly blushed.

“Of course. You look really good in this outfit and you have a really pretty face”

I winked at him and started walking again. He followed me still clinging to my hand. We had to walk about 10 minutes to reach the bus stop that lead directly to the city centre where all the shops where located. We waited for the bus and then got on it driving for another 10 minutes. Right across the street at out destined bus stop was a shop especially for hybrids clothing.

“Would you like to shop there?”, I asked Taeyong.

“Can we go to other shop too?”, he asked back and I nodded.

“Then let’s start here.”

We crossed the street and walked into the huge shop. A shop assistant greeted us at the entrance. I already noticed the fluffy tail and hanging ears. So hybrids work here, too. The dog hybrid walked over to us.

“Welcome in this shop. I see your hybrid doesn’t have a collar. I guess you’re to buy one”, she said and I nodded.

“Would you follow me please”

Taeyong and I followed her deeper into the shop towards a wall that was filled with different collars. All of them looked prettier than the other. Some had a simple normal design like a dogs collar, others were colourful and had fancy features like sparkly stones or studs on them. Taeyong let go of my hand and walked towards the simpler designed once. He looked back at me as he stood in front of the wall.

“Choose whichever you like”, I said and he nodded.

His gaze wandered over the collars and after some time he just chose a simple black collar with no fancy additions to it. The shop assistant walked over to him and grabbed the collar from his hands. Without hesitation he turned around and let the assistant put his collar on. I didn’t know why but I had the feeling that he had been here already once and was used to this. As the collar was positioned he thanked the assistant and walked back over to me.

“Is this ok?”, he asked.

“Of course. Whatever you like. You can walk around the shop and pick whatever you like. I’ll stay here for some time.”

“Are you sure? These clothes aren’t cheep.”, he explained and looked a bit sad.

“I said it’s ok. There is no price I wouldn’t pay for you, Taeyongie. Now go and pick what you like”

He smiled at me and then walked into the shop. I saw the shop assistant still looking after him. As she noticed me staring at her she came walking over. She signalled me to follow her and I did. We arrived at the counter at the shop entrance.

“Would you like to drink a coffee?”, she asked and I nodded.

“Is it possible that you two know each other?”, I asked as she was focused on the coffee machine.

“Yeah. It’s not the first time he came here. Well, his owner was the one who mostly came here. I only saw him once when he got his collar. I remembered him as soon as I saw you two. I heard about his owner. I don’t know if you know this but his owner is known to treat his ‘pets’ how he calls them not the best way. Some of those hybrids never visited again or were seen around this area. But nobody really seemed to care. I was surprised to see him in this good condition.”, she told me and handed me the mug with warm coffee.

“I wouldn’t call his condition good but there must have been hybrids looking a lot worse than him. I guess there are still those bad people out there that think your kind doesn’t deserve human right and stuff like that. It’s fucked up.”

“There were some hybrids I knew that lost some fingernails or had clipped ears. Some of them had pretty bad injuries like broken limbs or scars all over their bodies. I’m really glad to see him this healthy. I guess you’re taking good care of him.”

“I hope I can be of help to him. I just found him yesterday and I guess I was able to loosen some of his fears.”

“I bet you will be the perfect owner. And that is not the human side of me speaking.”, she said and winked at me.

“Thanks for the compliment and for the coffee. I should look where he is.”

“Alright. Just come back with all the stuff he needs and I’ll give you a discount since it’s your first time shopping here”

“Thanks”

I placed the mug back on the counter and walked into the shop. I was walking through the rows with different clothes for hybrids of all kinds. A leopard with his owner walked by me and the leopard stopped to talk to me.

“If you are searching for the handsome cat just go to the fitting rooms down this row and you’ll find him”, he told me and smiled.

“Thank you”

I walked into the direction he just mentioned and turned back once more to look at them. As soon as the leopard had returned to his owner he pet his head praising him and placed a kiss on his forehead. I could feel the love between those two from meters away. I smiled and walked towards the fitting rooms. I arrived there seeing that only one room was being used at the moment.

“Taeyong are you in there?”, I asked.

“I’ll be right out. Just wait a second”, he said.

Just a few seconds after he said that he walked out with a pile of clothes on his arm. I saw a few pants especially made for hybrids with a tail and some underwear and other stuff.

“Are you satisfied with what you chose?”, I asked and he nodded.

“Then let’s go and pay”

Taeyong grabbed my hand with his free one and intertwined our fingers. I chuckled and walked hand in hand towards the entrance. The shop assistant smiled brightly at us and grabbed a cotton bag. We handed her the clothes and she scanned them and packed them into the bag.

“This costs about 150 dollars. Are you paying cash or card?”, she asked and I already handed her my card.

She ran it through the machine and gave it back to me. She gave the bag to Taeyong who smiled at her.

“Thank you. Have a nice day”, he said and already walked towards the door.

“Thank you for coming to the shop. You’re welcome every time”, she said towards me and I smiled at her.

I handed her a paper with my number an.

“Call me whenever you see that bastard of owner again. I’m not gonna let him do anything to any kind of hybrid ever again.”

“I will. Thank you for your dedication”

“No need to thank me. Someone must do something. I’ll see you”

“Bye”, she sad and waved as I left the shop.

Taeyong was obediently waiting in front of the shop. I walked towards him and pet his head.

“What is this for?”, he asked and quietly purred.

“For being such a polite boy. I’m proud of you”, I praised him and kissed his forehead.

He got shy for a moment before he grabbed my hand again.

“Let’s go to the next shop”, he said enthusiastic.

I giggled at his excitement and followed his lead. We visited different shops and bought some stuff here and there. We had stopped at a hot dog stand as we noticed that it was already time for lunch. It was about 5 pm now and Taeyong seemed to get tired of running around the city shopping for clothes. I stopped walking and squeezed his hand.

“I think this is enough for now. We should head back home”

Just after I had mentioned home, he yawned and nodded agreeing. We walked back to the bus stop and drove back home. As we arrived at the apartment complex, we saw Johnny and Mark closing up the shop right as we entered the lobby. Taeyong let go of my hand and walked faster towards the boys.

“Look who’s here”, Mark said to Johnny and he turned to look at us.

“Are you done with shopping?”, he asked Taeyong and he nodded.

“You’ll get your clothes back when I washed them.”, I said towards Mark and he shook his head.

“No need. I told Taeyong he could keep them. They fit him perfectly and the look a lot better on him than on me.”, he winked towards Taeyong who giggled.

“I guess you’re right”, I said and Mark playfully hit me.

“Are you saying that I wouldn’t look good in those clothes?”, he asked playing offended and held a hand over his heart acting hurt by my words.

“No she’s saying you look bad in everything”, Johnny teased and started laughing.

Mark looked between Johnny, Taeyong and I who were laughing at him now.

“You guys are mean”, he said pouting and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Oh honey, don’t be mad”, Johnny said and grabbed his better half by his waist.

“Guys not in front of an innocent hybrid. This is not appropriate. Keep it PG”, I said as Mark softly kissed Johnny.

“I’m not innocent”, Taeyong stated next to me staring at those two boys looking at each other all lovey-dovey.

“Whatever you say. We’ll go upstairs now. See you”, I said and grabbed Taeyong by his hands before his eyes were falling out from gawking at those lovers.

They waved goodbye and we walked into the elevator. Taeyong began to speak as soon as the doors were closed.

“I had a feeling that those two love each other. They look at each other in this special way”, he said and looked at me with his big doe eyes.

“Yeah. Those two are inseparable. They really love each other. I’m happy for them.”, I said smiling thinking about the first time I met those two.

“Do you have someone like that in your life?”, Taeyong asked out of nowhere.

“Me? No. I don’t have someone like that. I have you now. That’s more than enough”, I smiled at him and stepped out of the elevator since it had arrived at our floor.

Taeyong stood there as if he was frozen. I grabbed him by his hands and dragged him towards the door. He took out his key and opened the door still with a proud look on his face. We walked in, took of our clothes and the walked to the bedroom with the bags of clothing. I walked towards my closet and emptied out parts of it so that Taeyong could place his clothes there. As I was finished I turned towards the bed to see that Taeyong had sorted his new belongings by kind of clothing and all of them were folded perfectly.

“You can put your clothes here. This part of the closet is yours. If you need more I can clear out some more stuff.”, I said and he nodded starting to fill the now still empty space.

“Thank you. Today was really fun”, Taeyong said after finishing and walked over to hug me.

“It really was. Exhausting but fun. I hope you didn’t feel uncomfortable at all today”

“No. I was fine. Thanks to you”, he mumbled against my shoulder and hugged me even tighter.

I kissed his head and then pet his head. He started to purr and nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. God I already loved this cutie too much. The more time I spend with him the more I wanted him to never leave my side. I must be crazy to fall for him this quickly. Taeyong looked up at me and seemed to notice that I was thinking hard about something.

“Are you ok?”, he asked and nuzzled his nose with mine.

“Yes I am. Just tired.”, I said and walked towards the bed letting myself fall on it.

Taeyong followed me shortly and laid down next to me resting his head on my chest.

“Then let’s sleep for a bit. You’ll feel better.”, he said and snuggled closer to me.

He was worrying over me even though I should be worrying about him. It was too cute. I wrapped my arms around his body and turned so that I was laying on my side facing him. He looked at me and cupped my face with his hands. He pulled my head closer to him and then placed a kiss on my forehead. This time both our cheeks turned a faint pink.

“Good night”, he mumbled and closed his eyes.

“Good night, Taeyongie”

I closed my eyes and just laid there for a bit listening to his breathing. After some time, I noticed him move a bit and felt the blanket being pulled up over our bodies. He snuggled closer to me again.

“I’m glad you don’t have someone by your side. I wanted to fill that space. I hope you’ll let me one day”, he whispered.

My heart stopped for a second and I really had to control myself not to start crying over his confession. He must have been thinking I was already sleeping. It was the cutest think that ever happened to me and touched me deep in my heart. The warmth from his words spread towards my whole body and I hoped this feeling would never go away.

Next Part 

#nct #nct taeyong #nct 127 #nct 127 taeyong #nct fluff #fluff #angst #kpop #hybrid taeyong #taeyong lee #living with a hybrid #hybrid au #taeyong x reader

[kaitlynpcallmebeepme]

The Oscars

The Oscars

(Tom Holland x Reader)

Summary: Dressing up in what makes you feel good for the Oscars.

Fluff prompt: 16. “Has anyone ever told you that you give really good hugs?” -

Warnings: Tons of tooth-rotting fluff, a few swear words I think

Word Count: 1,329

A/N: This is one of two works I have for

@hollandroos and @neptuneparker for their Whatever It Takes writing challenge. Both of the writings are separate from one another.

#sophsandcoraswc

I have a lot of prompts I’ve signed up to write for and I just got back from my first college band camp and I’m really sore. So I’m going to be grinding these out hopefully before June. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Requests are open and Messages are open if you want to talk about anything (except Endgame at the moment). This is the dress I was basing Y/n’s off of.

P.S. still haven’t seen Endgame, but I’m going to watch it before Spider-man: FFH comes out.

NOT MY GIF

Tag list: Send me an ask if you want to be added.

@trashinaglass said she would read mine. :)

The Oscars

A time when great films are recognized and the people who worked on them become well known across the industry.

You, unfortunately, weren’t one of these people. You’ve never even watched the Oscars until your boyfriend of two years, Tom, asked you if you wanted to be his date to the event (A movie he was in, was nominated for best picture).

You immediately talked to Zendaya for Fashion advice as the most fancy you’ve dressed up for was prom.

“Do I go with sexy, skirt, a long train, or with what I like? I don’t know what to do Ze.”

“Go with what you like because at the end of the day, it’s you who will be wearing the dress and you should feel powerful in it.”

You decided that you wanted to surprise Tom with the dress you picked for the event.

You slept over at Zendaya’s and you were enjoying breakfast before hair and makeup people arrived.

“You know what I want to do. Just start a live stream and talk about random shit.”

“That’s actually a good idea.”

While spooning another mouthful of Frosted Flakes in your mouth, you took out your phone and started an Instagram live stream. You set up the camera facing you as you continued to eat.

“Hey everyone. I’m eating breakfast at Zendaya’s house before the Oscars. Hair and makeup arrive in what half an hour?”

“Half an hour”

“Yeah and … I’m bored. So we’re going to be chatting, telling stories until they arrive.”

As more people joined the stream, questions started to come up.

“Where’s Tom? Tom is on the other side of the house getting ready. He doesn’t know what my dress looks like. He hasn’t seen it, so I’m going to surprise him with that later.”

As questions came in, you started to see one repeating question that you were dreading about answering. But it needed to be said.

“Who are you wearing? Ok, I’m going to go on a rant here and I do not care what you all say. I don’t care who it’s made by. Congrats for anyone who can make it in that industry, but for me as far as buying things I don’t always like their style, it’s not me, and also it makes it more expensive. So, that is not my priority when I’m shopping. My priorities are can I afford it, can it be worn more than once because otherwise it’s not useful to me, and do I look good in it because the only people whose opinion matters to me are those closest to me. Other than that, don’t give a shit.”

A smug smile crept on your face as Zendaya gave you an applause behind the camera.

tomholland2013: Can’t wait to see you tonight. You look beautiful already.

The fact that he was in the chat and complimented you after your rant made you smile.

“Thanks Tom. Ok guys, I’m going to end this stream before I spoil anything to Tom before he sees me tonight. So, hope you all have a good day. Bye.” You waved bye to the camera and turned off the stream.  You didn’t want to be like Mark Ruffalo and spoil the first bit of Thor Ragnarok.

The makeup and hair team came a few minutes later and it was time to get ready for everything. The dress you picked was a black one-shoulder satin aline that faded to blue by the bottom. There was a little sparkle by the shoulder and the back was open with the fabric cascading in stripes down your back. You wore a necklace with an Avengers logo because you were that person. Your hair was in a braid that folded back into a bun while a few strands of hair fell to the sides of your face. Your make up was just to even out your skin tone and give you a slightly glossy lip. Everything was how you wanted it, except your contact that bugged your eyes. You would rather wear your glasses, but contact for the Oscars was the one thing Z could convince you to do.

Once you were finally ready, you stepped out to show her. She was in a glittery gold dress (that hugged her curves perfectly) and a flower crown. She stood there with her mouth opened.

“Y/n you look great.” You could hear the genuineness in her voice as she gave you a once over. You took interested in your painted toenails as you stood there sheepishly. You gave yourself a look in the full-length mirror smiling to yourself.

“You think Tom will like it. No offense, but his opinion is the one that matters most.” She laughed at your sarcasm.

“He is going to be Speechless. You have no idea.” You once again smiled at her enthusiasm. You have never really dressed up this much for Tom. Yes, he’s seen your prom pictures and photos of you at weddings, but this is the first time you’re dressing up and going out with him.

“Let’s go show him then shall we.”

You grabbed your small clutch and made your way to the back garden of the house where Tom was supposed to be taking pictures. Zendaya grabbed her phone and started filming behind you as you walked in front of her, not wanting to miss Tom’s face. Tom’s back faced the house as camera flashes went off and he was instructed to stay facing that way. You opened the sliding doors that led to the back of the house and you saw someone filming from behind the photographer.

“K Tom. You ready?”

“More than ready love.”

“You can turn around now.”

Tom turned around, and once he did, he couldn’t form any words. His mouth stayed open and his eyes expanded while his hand covered his mouth it as he took in your beauty. “Holy shit” was muttered under his breath just so you could hear it. He then engulfed you in a hug that seemed to last forever.

“Has anyone ever told you that you give really good hugs?“ Tom whispered in your ear. His voice made shivers go down your spine that were immediately soothed by his presence.

"What do they say to you?”

“They say everything is alright. They say you are loved and accepted. They say forgiveness and comfort are here. They say you are safe and at home.” He pulled back and you wiped the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes. “Words can’t describe how beautiful you look right now. And how beautiful you will always look to me.” He brushed the apples of your cheeks with the pads of his thumb as he leaned in and gave you a heartfelt kiss. One that screamed “I love you” without using words. You pulled away and stared into those caramel chocolate eyes that have captured your attention since day one. The rest of the world was background static that didn’t matter. All that mattered was the love of your life resting his hands on your hips, giving you that million dollar smile.

“You ready to go?”

“So ready darling. I can’t wait to spend the night with you.” You hooked your arm in his as you both made your way towards the car with Zendaya right behind you smiling at how happy she is for her friend.

“As long as you don’t run into Madonna again at the after party.” Your smug face showed that underneath all the sparkles, you were still yourself.

“Oh God. I hadn’t thought about that.”

“You know. She never said to show off your two-person dancing skills. You could have just said "Back up” and did your spin move where you twirl three times.“

"Where were you when I needed you a few years ago.”

Another sweet peck on the lips and you two were off to the Oscars.

#sophsandcoraswc #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland reader insert #tom holland reader #tom holland story #tom holland blurb #tom holland one shot #tom reader #tom #tom holland one-shot #tom holland fluff

[kainfamilyfortune]

Today is the start of something new. And I’m terrified.

OOC, obviously, I know this is far from what I normally post on here, but I figured I’d let any that are interested in on a secret project I’ve been working on between managing a million dollar company, RP engagements, and supporting my lovely wife who is exploding in the book critic space - something I’ve been working on over the last four weeks. I entered a contest.

TW: Anxiety, Agoraphobia, Depression, Suicide, Addiction.

So I wanted to go back to tell you a little bit about myself. I’m a bit of a jack of all trades, I’ve dabbled in many, many things over the years, one thing I fell in love with was photography due to an old relationship, of course. But truly I fell in love that day, with her perspective, her eye, and how I could use photography to tell a story. I wanted to be profound. So I picked up my Canon A-1, yes I shot film, and shot photos in strictly black and white for a year. They say that color captures the moment, but B&W captures the soul, and I honestly believed that. Still do. But eventually when I moved 3,000 miles away from her and we couldn’t make things work I dove into a severe depression. I was young, freshly 16, and the beginnings of anxiety began to creep and creep throughout that last year before the move.

Oregon is beautiful, but it wasn’t Florida - we moved at an inopportune time in my life, as all teenagers believe. Just before summer vacation. I shut myself in my room for nearly four months, becoming severely agoraphobic, I was not taking the move lightly. I had no friends, no entertainment since the main reason we moved was due to my parents going bankrupt, both loosing their 6-figure jobs. My parents divorced five months after moving. A blessing and a curse was we did not move up to Oregon alone. No, my parents were swingers, so they often swapped partners as I grew up, having to basically raise my younger brother, shielding him from that truth. I kept their secret even after they divorced. My brother only just found out after turning 21, after moving in with my mother and stepfather, back in sunny Florida.

But what kept me from ending it all? Xanax and Photography.

I had a passion and I was getting better and better. I began to dabble in stop-motion film, fine-art photography, eventually when I went to a new school, a charter school up in the woods of Culp-Creek, I began to dive deeper and deeper into making it my career. My junior year I was making documentaries, winning mayor’s art shows, and even selling my work in the local art-walks in the small town that we had moved to. But I was still an anxious mess. Still suffering from panic attacks. Eventually I didn’t want to go to the charter school anymore. Partly because my favorite teacher was leaving and also because the bus ride was killing me. Nearly an hour everyday, forced to sit still and not panic.

So, I transferred to the local public school for my senior year. I was ahead of all my credits. Nearly a straight-A student. I smoked cigarettes. I frequented the school counselor due to my panic attacks and all my teachers knew. But I took my work out into the hall to work on it, listening in. I didn’t have first or seventh period since I was ahead of my credits. I devoted time to being a teacher’s assistant and helping teach the videography course that was supported at the school. I worked at McDonald's as well and earned enough money to move out on my own after the second trimester and to upgrade all of my photography/video equipment. 

My senior project was a 25-minute documentary on mental-health and how art could be used as therapy, it won a few awards and got stellar marks on the board, but most of all it got recognition from the local news. I got picked up right after graduation by a media company in the next town up from where we were living. I also wanted to go to college and get my degree. I was the first to move out from my graduating class. Three days after. I worked for the media company, then the local news for one year. I dropped out of school my first term. I didn’t need school. I started vaping to quit smoking. I was still abusing Xanax though, I was up to 5MG every three hours to feel like I was still alive.

Then I started to work for a local vape shop on the side. Quit my news network job due to stress, and worked for a smaller media company making a weekly show. Eventually another year and a half had passed and I had a psychotic breakdown. The Xanax had stopped working. I lost insurance so I couldn’t get anymore, and I was loosing my jobs. My life’s work. I stopped photography that day.

I moved into a trailer for two months. I worked at a pizza hut, managing that place for a year as I became sober. I still vaped because it surrounded me with an amazing community of people who were in recovery. I had moved out of the trailer and in with an old friend. In that time frame I turned 21. I partied for one week and haven’t partied since. I told myself that sobriety is only thing that is going to keep me grounded. I helped a few friends start media companies, and vape shops and car dealerships, helping them with marketing, commercials, all that jazz. Hell, I even worked front counter for them when they needed it. Eventually I wanted to work for another vape shop, so I hit up a few friends and got into the biggest in the pacific northwest as a partner. I’ve been working here for the last 3 1/2 years. Managing one of their locations for nearly two. 

So. I turn 25 this year. I’m sober. I got married last year. And my mental health is considerably better than what it was in year’s past. Why am I terrified?

Well. If you can see from the picture, I built a set. I was watching my daily World of Warcraft videos and this video came up in my news feed from one of my favorite channels, WTBGold. He is announcing a contest and I think nothing of it for the first two weeks. Then I had an idea. What if I make a ‘How-to RP’ video from the perspective of someone who plays a fuck-ton of D&D, and RPG’s. And I had six days left in the contest to write a script, film a video, and edit it all together.

I made this in a feverish 9 1/2 hours worth of work on top of my already crazy schedule. So I don’t look at the camera a whole lot and I’m currently re-filming the entire thing with the new set. But I submitted it. And it was watched live on his stream for a bunch of people to watch and judge.

It was received very well. I don’t think I will win the contest though. The last two weeks have been tense since he has yet to release his winner. But initially from the strawpoll on stream I had won the RP category so hopefully it means I can still make viable content since it has been awhile and I’m rusty. I’m diving into this project head-first to make YouTube content, twice a week on top of everything I have going on, because dammit. I want to make something for myself again. 

I want to be passionate again.

If you care to follow me on this journey: KainFamilyFortune <-- Content will be up later this week once I finish editing it since I filmed it this morning. 

If you made it through this rant, thank you. I know this is a lot different than what I usually produce, and I promise I’m still working on Thea’s perspective to the Battle of Dazar’alor. Combat is not my strong suit.

Thank you, thank you , thank you , k bye, back to editing <3

#ooc #me

[theredpandaserver]

S1 Ep 2: Self Image

Morning Greeting:

Good morning everyone and welcome to episode two of the podcast, I’m your host Rinn and today I am feeling great, I woke up this morning and relaxed in bed for a while and later I made some breakfast and instead of cooking I made some cinnamon fiber cereal. I didn’t want to be too lazy so I added some fresh blackberries and sliced strawberries and I don’t know about you guys listening but I’m lactose intolerant so I only buy almond milk. I know there’s a ton of other substitutes like soy milk and oat milk and actually so many people are saying that oat milk is a lot better than almond milk, especially if you order at Starbucks a lot I feel like every time I go there with a friend or something and I order a iced coffee with almond milk they always question if I ever tried oat milk before and would try to recommend it to me, I’m definitely not like fully against getting out of my comfort zone and trying new things so I would one hundred percent try it, maybe wait until next week’s episode to hear about whether or not I actually did and if I like it or not because I have some grocery shopping that I plan on doing Friday before I go on this mini vacation and that’s another story for another time obviously but anyways let’s go ahead and jump into the first topic of discussion for today because actually I really did put a lot of thought and effort into this episode so that it could actually be listenable if that’s even a word.

Opening Topic: You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

So I wanted to touch base on what I talked about in the first episode, mostly because I know that the first one was kind of all over the place and unorganized so this discussion will bring a bit of method to all that madness that once was the previous episode and I’m hoping that I can offer you all a bit of consistency and order and not just jump all over the place but I won’t make any promises. Let’s talk about how You Are Who You Surround Yourself With, okay. I did go a little in depth about what this meant to me but I felt the need to reiterate this point in particular because I truly didn’t do it justice love like I don’t know what else you want me to say. Quick side note as well before I continue, please don’t get mad at me if I delete the original first episode of the podcast because I was thinking about that but it’s not one hundred percent in motion yet, it might happen but also it might not, you’re just going to have to wait and see.

When you think about society and how everyone interacts with each other, today especially, you’ll notice that everyone has one thing in common. We all want to fit in or be accepted by our family or peers. Sometimes in order to feel or be accepted in certain groups we even often find ourselves doing things like smoking or drinking alcohol socially, gossiping, or even doing things that completely go against all our morals and beliefs.

When I say, “you are who you surround yourself with” this is exactly what I’m referring to. Hanging out with a group of friends, those friends start gossiping about someone that they don’t even know and you participating in that gossip so that you can be included in the conversation. Here’s a less toxic example, let’s say me and you are best friends and I wanted to go for a hike this afternoon but I didn’t want to do it alone. Even if you’ve never been hiking with me before, I decided to call and invite you to hike with me since we’re such good friends. If you’re bored or have nothing better to do you’re most likely going to say yes and go on this hike we me regardless of wether you actually really want to or not. As your friend, if we hang out everyday and I’m making healthy decisions, you’re probably going to as well.

The overall moral of the discussion is surround yourself with people that are going to bring out the best in you and promote positivity in your life because when you’re around positive energy, you’re almost guaranteed to life a fuller and more rewarding life than you would have lived around unhappy, unhealthy and negative individuals. I think that’s all I wanted to say in a nutshell about that topic and with that being said let’s take a short break for a moment and touch base on another topic afterwards.

Break: Discord Promotion

Have you ever gotten on the internet and thought to yourself “wow, I would love to find a social group I could join to make new, non-toxic friends to just talk about my day and have fun with” well you’re in luck because this week’s podcast is brought to you by the discord server The Red Panda. The Red Panda is a wholesome family-like community server that offers a relaxing and non-toxic environment where you can really get to know our members and participate in fun activities such as weekly anime streams, nitro giveaways, non profit organization promotions and so much more. With a wide variety of members all over the globe, there’s never a dull moment in The Red Panda, join using the invite code https://discord.gg/NFbTQa64Vk discord dot g g, forward slash, capital N F, lowercase b, capital T Q, lowercase a, 6 4 capital V lowercase k. To gain full access to the server, visit the guidelines tab and react to the verification post at the top of the channel using the green check mark symbol.

Main Topic: Self Image

First of all if you’ve made it this far and you’re still listening I want to say thank you for tuning in today. The main topic for this weeks podcast is going to be about your self image. So self image looks very different for a lot of people, now for me personally this is something that I really struggle with being positive about like I could wake up one day and look in the mirror and say wow I look really good today but then the next day I might look in the mirror and I don’t even recognize the person that’s looking back at me and I think I look completely repulsive even though literally nothing changed about my physical appearance from day one to day two. I honestly can’t explain why I do this because even I don’t really understand it and if I could like completely cut that out trust me I would. I would very much rather walk around feeling like the hottest shit on the entire Earth than to be insecure about my own self image for even half a second.

I think a big part of having a good and strong self image towards yourself is really faking it until you make it. You genuinely have to convince yourself day in and day out that you are beautiful, you are perfect, you are enough and you are loved so that you can eventually really start to feel those things from yourself. When you think about it, love is dedication and consistency, if you have that dedication to take the time treat yourself right and you’re consistent about doing it then soon after, you’re really going to find that positive self image that you worked so hard to build and I promise you’re going to enjoy every moment of it.

Everyone tuning in today, I want us to take a moment to really do some self care together to help build our self image. Maybe you already have the a great self image and you love everything about yourself, that’s perfect, good for you. This is just a fun mental exercise for everyone to do just to see how consistent you can really be and how you feel about yourself afterwards. When you wake up in the morning, for the rest of the week I want you to look in whatever mirror you have in your home and just tell yourself that you love yourself and that you’re enough or whatever other affirmations you want to remind yourself about each day. Then at the end of the week you can comment down below how you’re feeling or you can join the discord server and talk to me and the rest of the community directly and it can just be a fun little activity for everyone to get involved with. If you quit halfway through that’s okay! If you did it the entire week, that’s awesome and if you didn’t do it at all but you still tuned into the podcast then that’s perfectly fine! It’s all up to you guys and who knows maybe I’ll do it and forget about it or give up after a few days or so or maybe even get through the whole week, either way I’ll be right here again next week and I’ll try to remember to give you all a personal update on here as well as in the discord server with all of you, it’ll be a fun game in the end either way.

Wrap Up: Rebranding

So I’m sure you all noticed that there have been a few minor changes in the discord server and there’s a few more things that are still being worked on and will definitely come some time soon in the future. We’re currently in the process of not just rebranding but just finding ourselves in general. Who are we and what do we represent? What kind of impression do we want to leave on the future members of our community and what kind of activities do we want this community to even have?

Quite literally everything is still up for debate and is kind of just floating around in the air, waiting for a final decision. If you have a idea of what you would like the server to look like, how it should operate or what activities we should have please let us know down below or in the chat about it with us in the server about all your great ideas and watch them come to life.

Last Words

Thank you guys so much again for tuning into this episode of podcast and for supporting us and being part of our community, I think a good name for this podcast could be The Red Pandas Table, let me know what you all think about that. I’m your host Rinn and I had fun chatting with you all today, technically it’s night time because I’m recording this late in the afternoon and I’ve literally almost passed out today five different times and I still haven’t even cooked dinner yet which is the craziest part about it. Anyways, hugs and kisses and I’ll see you soon, bye!

#podcast #lgbt pride #mentalheathawareness #trevor project #suicide prevention

[babykpopsweets]

M I S T A K E

- Summary: Mark (NCT) and gf/bf (reader) getting into an argument

|Anonymous Requested|

Genre | au | fluff

~Your relationship with him was going downhill. Will it end that quickly?

Everyday with Mark was such a fantasy. Why did today even come? The whole apartment was a loud mess, and you hated it. 

You hated everyone who came screaming at you. After everything you have done to them they haven’t appreciated it.

~earlier~

You put on a purple crop top, purple suede shorts, beige choker, and beige pumas as your outfit for the day. You started to apply a pink lip gloss when you phone vibrated on the nightstand. You put down the lip gloss so you could go to see your phone. 

Message:

Mark 

‘Hey baby, sorry I don’t think I can make it to our date tonight! I am really packed with my schedules today.., Sorry and ILY talk to you later <3′

Why does this always happen? Mark makes plans but then he cancels them right before it, why? You understand he is busy but he should at least make time for you every day because that's what he promised you in the beginning. You slid your phone across the bed and you just plopped back. Then an idea came to your mind. 

What if I just hung out with someone else for the day? You thought about it for a second but then backed away from the idea. Yet no matter how hard you tried to keep the thought out of your head it came back. Finally, you gave up trying and grabbed your phone. Immediately you texted Jihoon and asked him if he wanted to go have fun for the day because Mark couldn’t. Jihoon isn't AS busy as Mark so he answered really quickly accepting your offer.

Finally, you get to have fun with some else. You grabbed your phone and started to walk towards the dorm rooms that Wanna One was currently staying in. It took a second after you knocked on their door for some to come answer it.

“Oh hey Y/N! What's up?” Jisung asked as soon as he opened the door.

“You answered the door fast! What’s your secret?” You joked to Jisung.

“Well with 11 boys/men running around here 24/7, we are bound to get the door quickly.”

“Oh my, that’s pretty fancy. Sike nah! Anyway, I’m here for Jihoon, is he here?”

“Ohhh, did you and Jihoon finally hit it off?!”

“What no-”

“Jihoon your girlfriend is here!”

“Okay, I’ll be over now!” Jihoon shouted from a room a few doors down the hallway. 

“Come in Y/N! So you don’t have to stand for the next 30 years that Jihoon gets ready.”

“Um, Sure thanks.”

You entered the dorm and took off your sneakers. The other 9 boys took notice of your presence and your bit revealing outfit. 

“I am surprised Mark let you leave like that AND met up with another male,” Jaehwan asked from across the room.

The other members threw pillows at him saying he shouldn’t say things like that.

“It’s fine guys. But the thing is he doesn’t even know I’m going to hang out with Jihoon. To be real, he doesn’t even know I got ready or I am even going out period. Which means you guys can’t say anything about this because he would be really mad at me. Okay?” You replied to Jaehwan’s comment.

The room filled with a string of voices saying okay over and over again. Then Jihoon finally came out. He walked up to you as he put on his supreme jacket. 

“We’ll be on our way now! I will see you guys later, bye.” Jihoon quickly said the goodbye and walked out with you.

“Where to?” You asked since you hadn’t really made problems.

“There is this new arcade place down the street! Shall we go?” 

“Heck yeah! Lets gooooooo!”

You guys made it in the arcade and played in there for at least 2 hours. Then you suggested that the two of you go to the store that is across the street. Once he agreed you both went to the store to shop for the next hour or was suppose to be. You both entered the store and started exploring together. People must’ve thought you two were a couple but other peoples opinions shouldn’t affect you because you don’t even know their name. 

All was fine and happy go lucky until you had seen a familiar man standing with another girl and a group of boys. You took a closer look and realized that the familiar man was your bf, Mark. Your heart crumbled into millions of pieces at the sight of Mark with another girl. He told you he was busy, wtf is he really doing? Your face visibly showed your anger and sadness

“What’s wrong? Is something up?” Jihoon asked while looking where you were “oh”

“He told me that he was busy today! Now I know, he is busy messing around with another girl and taking me for a fool” You said with so much anger that Jihoon had to calm you down a bit.

He was more like your bf then Mark was. Although you never saw Jihoon as more then a friend and neither did he. Maybe best friends but it wouldn’t branch out more then that. He was the only one comforting you in the time you just wanted to disappear with the wind.

“I see. I would say it might be a misunderstanding but he told you a lie which makes it a little hard to believe that it was. My best advice is for you to get out of here...”

“You’re right! Thank you Jihoon for today and everything in general.”

“No problem and byeeee” 

Before you left though Mark caught a glimpse of the two of you looking at him and you storming out. 

“I have to go guys... Something just came up.” Mark quickly excused himself and ran after.

You were speed walking and your apartment wasn’t too far from the place so you already arrived there when Mark came for you. He always had the spare key to your apartment. Of course, he let himself in. The sight of you sobbing broke his heart. Although he didn’t know why you were crying.

“baby what’s wrong?” Mark said in a comforting tone.

“Oh the playing dumb card, yeah not a fan of it!”

‘What chu mean? And would you care to explain why you were with Jihoon earlier?”

“Care to explain who the girl was in the store? Don’t even bother lying either...”

“Why does it matter???”

“Because you told you were ‘busy’ or something! Surely you were busy cheating.”

“Cheating?! Since when!”

“Since I saw you with her! That female or girl whatever!!!”

“Says the one who was just with Jihoon and left when I realized you were?!?”

“Excuse you but I was with him because you aren’t ever spending time with me and I need company! Jihoon was there when I needed comfort and needed to have fun! Which is more then you’ve ever done. I wasn’t planning on going out with Jihoon, but if he treats me better then you do I’d be more then willing to!”

“Well fyi that girl was my cousin! okay!”

“If its just your cousin then why did you lie to me? That’s what makes me start to worry. About us! Our relationship has been doing nothing but go downhill!”

“No it hasn’t. There have been plenty of time we had fun together and spent a whole day together to increase this relationship!”

“Like?”

Mark paused for a second his mind running around old memories of you and him together. You two spending quality time together.

“Uhhhhh.... When we went to the arcade!”

“Mark that was last year!!!! Plus I did that today with Jihoon. The boy who is actually helped me feel love!”

Mark put his head down realizing the reason for your anger. He thought about all the times he cancelled on you just to hang with the boys in NCT. But the saddest part is he had always used the “I’m busy sorry” bs excuse. You let a tear stream down your cheek as you realized the situation was more serious then you thought. 

“Look, Y/N. I know I have lied to you many times about what I was doing and where I’m at but I swear on everything I own and all my money I would NEVER cheat on you.”

Most girl in this situation would’ve just walked up and left, you knew Mark was a sincere, truthful, and loyal man. It is a fact everyone knows. So you believe him and give up trying to fight over something you can just talk about. He noticed your more relaxed face and knew you had believed him. He was telling the truth but he was still scared of your reaction.

Although you were upset at him, you didn’t want to seem him sad or down because you knew you could trust him. You hugged Mark in a comforting way to help him feel better. He hugged you back relieved that you trusted him. For the rest of the day you two cuddle and watched movies. Finally Mark was with you in your arms!

~~~~~~~~~

Oh my lordie this took me 10000000 years I swear. Plus I don’t know why I put that gif but oh well. Don’t judge me I am not even thirteen yet. But I hope you enjoy it! I poured all my writing skills into this. Feedback is appreciated!!!!!!!!!

-admin Yen and Jamz collaboration 

#mark lee #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #nct mark #nct u texts #nct u drabbles #nct u reactions #nct reaction #nct 127 reactions #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 texts #nct dream reactions #nct dream drabbles #nct dream texts #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #sm ent #2017

[babylon-bitch]

Just Friends ~ Time To Move On (part 59)

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she  friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

***

“Oh my God.” I laugh as Tori stumbles all over the place.

“You’re not much better.” She whines at me.

“At least I’m not stumbling all over the place.” I retort but still struggle to walk in a straight line.

“I don’t any of us can walk in a straight line.” Blake laughs as he slings an arm over my shoulder.

“I can, wait, no I can’t.” Juliet says as she nearly falls over.

“Is everything spinning for anyone else?” Laura questions.

“Yeah.” Izzy agrees.

“Make it stop.” Laura puts her arms out and squints.

“Has anyone got any more of that clear stuff?” Cody asks.

“You mean vodka?” Blake asks.

“Sure, you got any?” Cody questions.

“No, I wish I did though.” He sighs.

“I’ve got some!” Delilah exclaims and pulls a bottle out from her boot. “I stole it.” She giggles.

“No shit.” I deadpan.

“Has anyone got another drink to go with it?” Cody asks.

“Yeah, I stole some coke cans too.” Delilah pulls two cans out from her other boot. “Originally I got hot so I stuffed them down there, but they actually became handy.”

We’re currently on our way to Juliet’s apartment, we’re all staying over there I think, I’m not sure, there are no concrete plans, we just kinda started making our way there. It’s so late right now, I’m not entirely sure what the time is, I just know it’s very early in the morning. We’ve been at the club all night, we left around 15 minutes ago, and it’s been a night full of dancing, drinking, socializing, and things that I can’t remember.

“Why didn’t we call cab?” Delilah groans.

“Because there’s like 17 of us.” Laura says.

“So? Some people can go on the roof?” Delilah argues.

“I’m not doing this right now.” Laura sighs.

“No! Please do it again, I want to see Delilah argue that pasta is basically snot.” I laugh.

“Do not get me started.” Delilah warns.

“Is this a normal thing between you three?” Cody questions.

“I guess.” Laura shrugs.

“I love all of you guys, you’re my best mates.” Izzy starts to get emotional.

“No, get these feelings away from me.” I cringe.

“You don’t have feeling?” Izzy asks.

“Used to, I guess, but now I’m numb, I don’t feel happiness or sadness.” I confess.

“Really? I would’ve taken you for someone who feels everything.” Blake speaks up.

“What? That is so not me.” I shake my head.

“Maybe you should get some.” Izzy suggests.

“Where from? Fuckin’ Marks and Spencer?” I question.

“No, you said you used to feel things, but something happened, so then you should face whatever made you feel like this.” Izzy explains.

“I could never face him again, it hurts too much, plus fuck him, he made me like this why should I get my feelings back from him when he took them in the first place? Why can’t I get some new ones from someone else or on my own?” I ask.

“She’s got you there.” Tori points at her.

“I could give you feelings again!” Blake exclaims.

“No, you’ll only destroy someone else again, I got new ones from other people.” Laura tells Blake.

“I fucked up okay, I get it, I didn’t mean to, can we move on from this?” Blake sadly sighs.

“Why are we talking about feelings like they are a pair of shoes?” Juliet questions as if her life depends on it.

“Maybe we got high from the second hand smoke.” Cody says.

“No, we got drunk.” I set him straight.

“Ohh, yeah, I remember doing that.” He laughs.

“Babe, you’ve got a bottle of vodka in your hand.” Juliet points out.

“Oh yeah, how did that get there.” He laughs.

“I’d hate to be the only sober one right now.” I say.

“Did you get feelings from the guy at the club?” Tori blurts out.

“Uh, what guy?” I ask confusely.

“The guy you made out with.” Tori tries to remind me.

“I made out with someone?” I question.

“Yeah, it was pretty hot to be honest.” Tori nods her head.

“Oh my God, I’ve cheated on Luke.” My eyes widen.

“What? You’re not with Luke anymore.” Blake reminds me.

“I’m not?” I question.

“No.” He shakes his head.

Well it feels like I just got hit by a bus.  

“Oh shit, he cheated on me! We broke up at Christmas.” I remember and it hurts so damn much, almost as if it’s happened all over again and I start to get emotional.

“It’s okay, babe.” Blake pulls me into his arms.

“She does have feelings!” Izzy exclaims.

“Not the time, Izzy.” Blake says.

“We’re just gonna go.” Delilah awkwardly says.

“Okay, bye.” Blake waves and they leave, stumbling all over the place.

“You okay?” Blake asks after a while of me just sobbing into his chest, as he leans on a little barrior to stop cars coming through.

“I guess.” I shrug. “I think about him so much it’s like I actually have a relationship with him.”

“Do you want a relationship with him?”

“Yeah, more than anything.” I sigh.

“Why can’t you just reach out to him then?” He questions.

“Because I’m scared we’ll get back together again then break up again, and I’ll be sad again. Plus all this stuff has gone on between us, things have been said, it would never be the same, we can never get the same relationship again. I’m terrified of the change, I’ve always been content around him, and now that that has changed, I’m not sure if he is my home anymore. I see him as s-sadness now, and that makes me feel guilty.” I confess.

“You shouldn’t feel bad because things have changed, things are bound to change at some point in life.” Blake tells me.

“Not this drastically, Luke and I have fucked up our whole friend group, we’ve made it so awkward for everyone who’s in a room with us.”

“Do you still love him?” Blake asks.

“I-I don’t k-know, should I still love him? Am I supposed to of dispatched all feelings for him by now?”

“Okay, do you have any romantic feelings left for him?”

“Yeah.” I sadly nod.

“What do you feel when you look at him? Love? Hate?” Blake asks.

“Want.” I say.

“If you were to be in contact with him again, would you want to be in a romantic relationship or just friends?” He questions.

“I don’t know what I want, all I know is that I want Luke, no I need Luke, and I’m not sure what happens after, I just need him.” I begin to cry again.

“Are you going to do anything about it?”

“What can I do about it?” I ask.

“Get in contact with him.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me, I’ve told him I never want to see him again, the last time we talked to each other it didn’t end well, I kinda unintentionally lead him on, I even told him that if we had a realtionship it wouldn’t end well, why would he want to talk to me? We fucked each other over.”

“Did you mean anything you said to him?”

“Kinda, but I only told him these things when I was frustrated or not in the right head space.” I say.

“Babe, you need to either let him go or go back to him, you can’t keep living like this. I’m not telling you to make a choice right now, because you’re not capable of doing that right now, but you have to soon. It’s only a matter of time before you go crazy. You can’t keep hanging on to him, you don’t even speak to him, yet he makes you a mess.”

“I don’t want to let him go, but I don’t think I could handle being around him.”

“You need to pick one, there’s no in between, you need to be quick because you’re going to destroy everything around you. These fake smiles that last for miles aren’t going to help anyone.”

“It’s not that easy to pick, it’s either letting go of my childhood best friend and the first person that I ever loved or seeing my bestfriend and first ever love again.”

“What sounds the best?” He gives me a knowing look.

“It’s sounds great, but that leap I have to make to get there and then the period between now and when it gets normal terrifies me. It might not be that long, but I don’t know what it is, but I’m so scared of it, and my heart and stomach do weird things when I think about it.” I confess.

“Maybe Luke could help you during that patch.” Blake suggests.

“No, I need to make that on my own, it’s the only way I can get remotely back to normal, I can’t keep leaning on people for support, more specifically Luke. Every time I’ve gone through a dark period, I’ve always leant on Luke for support, and I need to get away from that, because I don’t have anything to do with him anyone, so there’s no one to save me.”

“Then let other people save you, move on, Harper.” Blake replies.

“I can’t! I just can’t let him go, I don’t want to be around him because he hurt me and I could never forgive him for that, but at the same time, he’s the only thing I need. I don’t want to let him go, because he means too much to me.”

“Maybe letting him go is the solution.”

“Blake, I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t know what I want/need, I want this all to be over.” I cry as if my life depends on it.

“Please don’t think like that, I know it’s hard but please the good days will come.”

“Words mean nothing, Blake.” I shake my head.

“You need to go to him Harper, you can’t keep living like this, you fuck yourself up by doing these things then you realize you’re not with Luke, you’re setting yourself up in this continuous cycle of pain. Get help, you need it, I don’t think any of us can save you any more.”

“Are you really giving up on me?” I questions.

“You’ve given up on yourself, I can’t save you if you’re not helping yourself.” Blake tells me.

“Please don’t leave me, I can’t do it without anyone at all, if I fall, I need someone to catch me.” I say, tears streaming down my face.

“I can only help you, if you help your self, you’re not going to get anywhere if you give up on yourself. The only person who can properly save you is yourself, people can push you into the right direction, but it’s you yourself that has to do it. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed if you can’t, you just need a little more time.”

“It’s too fucking hard, it’s been 6 months since this has all happened, I’ve not gotten any better, I’ve only gotten worse.”

“You obviously need more time, and it looks like 6 months is only the start, if you carry on like this that is. You’re so broken, and I wish I could transfer all the dark stuff lingering in your body somewhere else, but unfortunately I can’t, but you can.”

“I just want Luke, that’s all I need, I need Luke to put me back together, but he doesn’t want me.”

“How do you know he doesn’t want you? How do you know he doesn’t need you like you need him?” He asks.

“Because I just know, plus he said he regrets dating me.”

“Maybe it’s a defensive mechanism?” Blake suggests and tightens his arms around me.

“What hating me?” I question.

“Acting like he hates you.”

“No, Luke wouldn’t do that.” I shake my head.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“Yes, I need to be alone right now and think over some stuff.” I sigh and begin to detach myself from him, but he closes his legs, making his knees go to my hips, stopping me from moving, and he reaches out for my waist, pulling me in.

“Please don’t, I don’t think I can trust you on your own.” He blurts out.

“What? Why?”

“Please, just sleep over at my place or with a friend.” He urges.

“I’ll be fine.” I say.

“Harper, you were just saying you wanted this all to end, and you have a history.”

“I’m not going to do anything, I promise, I’m going to write a song.” I tell him.

“You promise?” He questions.

“I promise.”

“At least let me walk you home.”

“Honestly Blake, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He questions.

“Yes, I’ll text you tomorrow morning, or when ever I wake up.” I say.

“Alright, stay safe.” He replies and stands up properly.

“Bye.” I sadly smile and Blake pulls me into a hug.

“Bye.” He waves and kisses my forehead, before I walk away.

***

“Harper?” A voice far away calls and I groan in response.

“Harper?” The voice asks me again

“What?” I ask, but it comes out really quiet.

“There you are.” The voice says and footsteps come closer, it sounds like there are multiple people.

“Hey.” A girl says and I groan.

“Come on, wake up.” Now a boy speaks and I feel his warm hands on me.

“No.” I speak up for the first time, making people chuckle.

“Why not?” He asks.

“Don’t want to.”

“You had to eventually.” A girl tells me.

“No I don’t.” I argue.

“You can’t stay in bed all day.” They reply.

“Watch me.” I mumble and turn over, my leg hitting something hard. “I did it for over a month, now watch me make a new PB.”

“Come on, Harper, you have to get up, it’s 12 o'clock.” The boy says.

“Why do I have to?” I question kinda harshly.

“Because you need to eat at some point.” A girl points out.

“Just fuck off, let me sleep.” I groan, making them laugh.

“Come on.” The boy shakes me.

“What’s even the point anymore?” I ask.

“Don’t make me drag you out of bed.” The girl warns.

“I’ll get up, just give me time.” I wave them off.

“No, because you’ll just fall asleep again.”

“Fine, whatever.” I sigh and rub my eyes, finally opening my eyes and seeing Blake, Delilah, Laura, and Tori.

I give them the middle finger and take in my surroundings, paper is scattered around me, filled with writing, my electric guitar is laying on the bed next to me, and I’ve changed into some comfy clothes.

I pick up a piece of paper and read the lyrics.

“Were you writing a song?” Tori asks.

“No.” I sarcastically say and pick up the guitar and pick up a pick from my bedside table.

“Wow, I forgot how much of a bitch you are in the morning.” Delilah laughs and I smile.

“I have a huge headache.” I whine, and mindlessly pick at a few strings.

“Playing guitar probably won’t help.” Blake points out.

“No, music fixes everything.” I disagree. “Why are you here anyway?”

“I came to uh, check on you.” Blake says.

“Delilah and I came because we’ll were staying here.” Laura tells me.

“And I’m here because I was in the kitchen then I saw these guys walking by.” Tori shrugs.

“What time did you guys even get up?” I question.

“10.” Tori replies.

“10:30.” Laura says.

“In the hour of 10, I’m not really sure.” Delilah shrugs.

“Around 11.” Blake answers and picks a piece of paper up, beginning to read it.

I mess around with the guitar, until I find myself playing the song, I started writing last night.

“You ever been high?” Blake asks after I’m finished.

“Yeah, have you?” I answer.

“Couple of times, I’m not really into it.” He shrugs.

“Remember when we last went out?” Delilah asks.

“Yeah.” I sigh.

“What happened?” Blake asks.

“We got super high.” Laura states.

“You as well?” He questions.

“Yeah.” She nods.

“What on?” He asks.

“I can’t really remember.” I shrug.

“When was this?” He asks.

“March or April last year.” Laura says.

“It’s weird to think that we didn’t even know each other then.” Blake chuckles.

“We did.” Laura raises her hand, and something goes over Blake’s eyes.

“Okay, besides us. What were you doing then?” Blake asks.

“I was in school, trying to get grades and being annoying.” Tori answers.

“Legit same, but I was fucking around with my boyfriend at the time.” Delilah chuckles.

“I was hanging out with friends and being a nerd.” Laura shrugs.

“Wow, my life is sad, I was on a break with my boyfriend, then I fucked myself up.” I bitterly chuckle.

“Have you ever been happy with him?” Tori chuckles.

“Yeah, most of the time.” I nod. “Now get out so I can get dressed.”

“Well then, see you in a minute.” Blake says and they walk out.

I undress and put on some black jeans, an old graphic tee, then shrugging on a black hoodie.

Putting on minimal make up and brushing my hair, picking up my phone then walking out the door, going into the lounge, as I check my emails.

I see I have an email from my manager, saying I need to be at a meeting by 4.

Shit.

“Hey.” I say as I walk in.

“Hello.” They all reply.

“So, uh, do you want me to drive you back to London?” I offer.

“Really?” Laura asks.

“Yeah, I’ve got a meeting to go to.” I explain.

“To think you were just being nice.” Delilah fakes being hurt.

“Do you want me to drive you?” I raise an eyebrow and they laugh.

“What time are we going?” Laura asks.

“In the next 10 minutes.”

“I’ll go pack.” Delilah informs and walks away, Laura following.

I go to the kitchen and make myself a snack, as a breakfast and lunch.

“Hey.” Someone that sounds like Blake says from behind me.

“Hi.”  

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

“Fine.” I simply say.

“Good.” He nods and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“How are you feeling?” I ask him.

“Fine.” He shrugs. “So, I’ve got this friend and I’m really worried about them, they say they’re are fine, but if you just have one conversation with them, you can tell they aren’t. They’re not helping themselves, and are going in this continuous cycle, and I can’t bare it anymore, I can’t handle seeing them like this anymore.”

“Wow, do I know them?” I sarcastically say, then glare at him, before walking out, going back to my place, hearing him sigh.

“Harper, wait.” He calls after me.

“What?” I turn around.

“You need help, I’m worried about you, and all this isn’t okay, you can’t ignore this all. Remember when you first told me that you broke up with him?” He asks.

“Yeah.”

“I told you that you shouldn’t bottle it up, because it will come back and build up, becoming worse and worse. But what did you do?”

“I’m still in the grieving process.”

“It’s been 6 months! It should’ve lasted a couple months, not half a year.” Blake exclaims.

“I’m seeing a therapist on Friday, does that help you? This doesn’t concern you, it has nothing to do with you, so just back off.” I harshly say.

“I think it does concern me when one of your friends is so sad that she tried to end it all! You can’t tell me you’re okay, behind all this is a broken girl that won’t let anyone help her because she’s scared.” He accuses.

“I’ve gotta go.” I shake my head. “Tell the others to meet me in the car.”

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings fanfiction #luke hemmings one shot #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings smut #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin one shot #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin blurb #calum hood #calum hood fanfiction #calum hood one shot #calum hood blurb #calum hood smut #calum hood imagine #michael clifford #michael clifford fanfiction #michael clifford one shot #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford blurb #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfiction #5sos one shot #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #5sos smut

[mylovedouglas]

25/08/20

today hmmm wake up early to do yoga as i need to go try out uniform and reach there late and also lost the way wtf any way yah came back like 11+ hmmm hungry any way watch some video play some game nap too and game again i was thinking to like change the layout of my island hmmmm idk wait for mark live stream as i watch some movie yah but hmmm still fall asleep half way hahaha will rewatch it later hehehe k bye now wanna sleep

[kansascityhappenings]

Kansas City Chiefs players you can bank on, and ones to avoid, for fantasy football

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — For many Chiefs fans, winning Super Bowl LIII would be the ultimate dream.

Of course, we won’t know that until February, so this fantasy will have to do.

All this year on FOX4, we’re going to give a fantasy football outlook for your Kansas City Chiefs. Who to start, who to sit, who needs to be traded and who could surprise.

For this first edition, we’re going to look broadly at the Chiefs players who might be on your fantasy football roster and your weekly approach for playing them.

We’ll break them down into three categories:

GREEN LIGHT: These are the players who, barring something extraordinary, need to be in your lineup every week, no questions asked.  You’ll be counting on them to be anchors of your roster.

YELLOW LIGHT: These players are likely on your roster and may even start a majority of the time. But, it’s not an automatic, and you may want to check their matchups before automatically plugging them into your starting lineup.

RED LIGHT: Approach with caution. It’s not that these players aren’t worth taking up a roster spot, but because of their role, their matchup, or other concerns are most likely best suited as bench players you only want to use when you’re struggling with bye weeks or have several injured players.

In the weeks going forward after this article, we’ll take a closer look at the Chiefs and their opponents to find which players from both teams could help you win your league.

So, let’s get to it.

GREEN LIGHT

TE Travis Kelce: The easiest call on this list by far.  If you wanted Kelce on your team, there’s a good chance you drafted him in the third round of your draft, if not sooner (perhaps way sooner if you’re playing with other Chiefs fans).  At worst, he’s a top-two tight end at a position where the dropoff from elite players to good ones is sudden. There’s even an outside chance he’s the number one fantasy football tight end in PPR (point per reception) leagues, given the injury history of Rob Gronkowski.  Even facing a defense known for locking down tight ends, you’re not sitting a player you picked so early.  If the Chiefs are playing, you’re playing Kelce.

RB Kareem Hunt: Traditional fantasy football thinking means taking running backs early.  It’s likely Hunt was the first Chief to come off of your draft board, probably around the end of the first round. He grabbed all-rookie team honors, and were it not for an equally impressive season from the Saints’ Alvin Kamara, may have taken Rookie of the Year honors.  Don’t expect Hunt to lead the league in rushing yards again this season, but he still should easily surpass the 1,000-yard mark.  He also proved to be a reliable pass catching option in the Chiefs offense, securing 53 catches on 63 targets in 2017.  Pass-catching backs are the backbone of many successful fantasy football teams. It’s hard to imagine any fantasy roster in a league with more than six teams having two running backs better than Hunt; most won’t have one.

WR Tyreek Hill: The league’s premier deep threat finished 7th in the NFL in receiving yards in 2017 with Alex Smith at quarterback. Just imagine what he could with one of the strongest-armed QBs in the league throwing to him.  Sure, you may have some concerns about Patrick Mahomes’ accuracy (we’ll get to that later), but the upside of Hill is too hard to ignore.  He’s a gold mine in leagues offering bonus points for long plays (his last 13 TDs have all come from 30+ yards out).  You may see some wild swings in his weekly point totals given the uncertainty factor, but he’s at worst a WR2 in fantasy lineups.

  YELLOW LIGHT

QB Patrick Mahomes: If I could give a yellow-green, I would.  Depending on the number of teams in your league, Mahomes is anywhere from a low-end QB1 to a high-end QB2 that should’ve been taken in the mid to late rounds of your draft. He’s not officially a rookie, but with one start to his name where he didn’t play with the first-team offense, for all intents and purposes, he is.  We’ve already touched upon the biggest positive he’ll bring: a strong arm.  There’s no concerns about a supporting cast, either.  The biggest drawback is youth and inexperience.  It can be hard to fully back a young quarterback until you’ve had more of a chance to see what he can do.  Expect some volatility in his performances and the growing pain of interceptions.  If Mahomes is your starting QB, consider looking for a streaming option against the toughest opponents.

WR Sammy Watkins: Maybe a bit of a surprise and a bit of a disappointment to see the Chiefs big-ticket free agent acquisition not included in the “sure thing” category, but truth be told, the idea of Sammy Watkins has always been better the actual product.  The 4th overall pick from the 2014 NFL draft still has just one 1,000 yard season to his name and never truly clicked in a high-powered Rams offense from a year ago.  Watkins is likely to get more targets and receptions than Hill which offers some PPR value, but his catches figure to be more of the underneath variety.  Hill is still a stronger bet to outpace him in yards.  While Watkins is at best the third pass-catching option in the Chiefs offense, he’s the third-best in a high-powered offense.  He’s a valuable WR3 or flex play in leagues of that format.  If you start two WRs, Watkins probably is only playing on bye weeks.

K Harrison Butker:  If you’re like most fantasy players, you only drafted one kicker anyway, and if it’s Butker he’s playing as long as he’s healthy.  So why the yellow light?  I still think he’s probably a middle-tier option at the position, but it’s no knock against him as a player.  This is anticipating the Chiefs being a high-flying offense that will be scoring more touchdowns than settling for field goals.  Should the latter happen, his leg is still plenty strong to help you get those additional points for 40 & 50 + yarders.  Admittedly, I don’t think there’s a huge difference between Butker and the top options.  If you have a chance to improve over the season, do it, but don’t force a trade that weakens you elsewhere to get a better kicker.

  RED LIGHT

Chiefs D/ST: There’s no sugarcoating it, this unit looked bad during the preseason.  When Chase Daniel is slinging it around your first string without a problem, it’s cause for concern.  Add in the fact that Eric Berry still may be missing from action to start the year, and it gets worse.  Most savvy fantasy players avoided drafting the Chiefs defense altogether.  If you did draft them, it must be with the hopes of waiting to see how the season goes.  With the season opening at the Chargers, at the Steelers and home versus the 49ers, the earliest I can advocate (and I still wouldn’t) playing this D is Week 4 in Denver.

RB Spencer Ware: Head Coach Andy Reid talked about seeing Ware as a “co-starter” of sorts at the running back position with Hunt.  I’m going to have to go full Missouri on this one and say you’re going to have to show me before I believe it. If you have Ware on your roster, it should only be as a “handcuff” (think insurance policy) in case Hunt gets hurt.  In all but the deepest leagues, he should be on the waiver wire anyhow, and I’d leave him there until it’s proven he’s really going to get a meaningful number of touches.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2018/09/07/kansas-city-chiefs-players-you-can-bank-on-and-ones-to-avoid-for-fantasy-football/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2018/09/07/kansas-city-chiefs-players-you-can-bank-on-and-ones-to-avoid-for-fantasy-football/

[airadam]

Episode 111 : Pay Attention!

"Classical soul, I got the nastiest flow"

- Sean Price

We had to open the show with an Aretha Franklin track to mark her sad passing this month, and you'll hear her essence at various points throughout the episode. I'm just about beating the buzzer to get this one out on time, but I'm sure you'll agree it was worth the effort!

Manchester shows for the month;

Beatnuts, The Bluntskins, Didjit, Air Adam | September 19th, Whiskey Jar

Havoc, Big Noyd, DJ L.E.S, Seven Spherez | September 24th, Joshua Brooks

Twitter : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Aretha Franklin : Rock Steady

We had to start things off with a classic from the Queen. This 1971 single from the "Young, Gifted, and Black" album isn't short on legends, with Donny Hathaway on electric piano and organ, and Bernard Purdie doing the business on the drums. A much covered and much sampled record, all trying to get just a hint of the flavour of the original. 

Pete Rock : Aretha

A perfect instrumental for me to come across this month, drawn from the golden period in which Pete Rock was on production for InI's unreleased (but heavily bootlegged) debut album. This beat wasn't used, but it comes to us courtesy of the 2017 "Lost Sessions" release alongside nine other previously-unreleased instrumentals.

[DJ Premier] Gang Starr : 92 Interlude

I just had to include this - an interlude beat from the "Daily Operation" LP that built around just a tiny incidental piece of a famous Aretha Franklin track and put other producers on notice when it comes to how Primo picks gold!

JR & PH7 ft. Chuuwee : Meadowview Morning

Thank you Spotify for dropping this one into one of my playlists! The German producers JR and PH7 have made a brief appearance on the show previously, but their work on this track from "The South Sac Mack" is really something. They come up with a jazzy but sombre instrumental which perfectly fits the trio of Sacramento MCs telling tales of life in their corner of the world. 

Hieroglyphics : Oakland Blackouts

Keeping it over on the West Coast, the Hiero crew have always been reliable as a source of bars upon bars. The "3rd Eye Vision" album is creeping towards twenty years old, but is still an excellent listen! Opio of Souls of Mischief is on production for this one.

Termanology : Are You Sure?

We don't hear Erick Sermon's name brought up enough when it comes to some of the greatest producers, so I'm glad Termanology linked up with him for this head-nod groove on his latest album "Bad Decisions". This is almost Term's version of Gang Starr's "The Planet", with him telling the story of coming to New York from Massachusetts and having to work to establish and hold his position. I won't give away the hook sample in case it's uncleared, but it's also a quality record :)

Sean Price : Director's Cut

This one has an unusual structure - a series of short two-bar "scenes" separated by two-bar sections of commentary. It's raw street business with a dash of humour as you'd expect from Sean P, gracing the Khrysis beat with some classic jewels. If you like this track, then the "Jesus Price Supastar" LP is a must in your collection.

DJ Agent M : Keeping Me In The Dark

Agent M is a producer and DJ from Leeds whose 2018 beat tape "Closure" is the sound of him working through a period of loss. This track is based around a classic sample, which is not just flipped for the sonics but also for the title.

Kev Brown : Voltron

It's been an extremely long wait for a proper follow-up to Kev Brown's 2005 debut LP "I Do What I Do", but finally he returns with "Homework" - twenty-nine tracks for a grateful audience! It's a partly vocal and partly instrumental album, with many tracks clocking in at under two minutes long. This was an initial standout for me, and while it's tickling my head as though there's a familiar sample, it wouldn't surprise me to find out that everything was played from scratch - Kev certainly has the capability.

The Game ft. Faith Evans : Don't Need Your Love

I've got to be honest - the lead-up to the release of The Game's debut album, "The Documentary" felt like one of the first times I felt as though the industry was really trying to force-feed an artist into the scene. He'd only been rapping for a relatively short time (for that era) before this LP came out, and has to be credited for building his skills in such a short time, but the Dr. Dre co-sign and G-Unit affiliation was of course what put him over the top. He's still active nowadays though, and has absolutely earned his place. Anyway, the first album had two tracks I really enjoyed - "Put You On The Game" and this, a track straight from the heart with Faith Evans blessing the hook. Havoc of Mobb Deep is on production with a beat that isn't what you might expect from him in terms of sound, but is right there at the standard of quality that he'd set.

DJ Cam ft. Cameo : Love Junkee (Dilla Remix)

You may or may not know it, but you cannot deny that this is a serious tune! The original was cool, in a relaxed and organic way, with Cameo an extremely welcome guest to proceedings,  but Dilla turned it into a banger. Incredibly minimal on the surface, but packed with lots of little subtleties if you listen closely enough. If you can hear past that thumping low end! Get yourself a digital copy of both versions, and thank me later.

Zapp : Computer Love

I've said it before, but Zapp were something like fifteen years ahead of the advent of internet dating! This is a stone classic record, sampled and flipped countless times, and one which I'm glad to have enjoyed as a new track when it was released back in 1985! Shirley Murdock features as half of the lead vocal duet alongside Charlie Wilson of The Gap Band, and the great Roger Troutman (RIP), who also wrote the song, comes in on the talkbox. Apparently Charlie Wilson's record label thought this wasn't going to be a hit...I assume much crow has been eaten since! You can find this as a single, on the "The New Zapp IV U" album, and on many compilations.

Onra : Wait A Minute

This needed a bit of additional looping to be long enough to fit here, but it fit so well in terms of sound that it had to be done. It's taken from the new "Nobody Has To Know" album, the instrumental story of a secret relationship.

Sean Price : 60 Bar Dash

Sean P again with a stream of the disrespectful lines we love him for, on a record from relatively early in his solo career - you can find this on the B-side of the "Boom Bye Yeah" 12" single. PF Cuttin is on production, working a break you might know from the first Diamond D album.

De La Soul : The Art Of Getting Jumped

I always enjoyed this one and the 80s Aretha sample that makes up the hook! Underrated but big tune from the "Art Official Intelligence : Mosaic Thump" album, all about those times when the pack strikes and isn't concerned with fighting fair...

Eric B & Rakim : Set 'Em Straight

If you don't have the "Let The Rhythm Hit 'Em" album, then you probably don't know this track - it wasn't a single, it's not a club track, but my goodness, it's dope. The title is perfect, as Rakim takes the time to primarily put other MCs in check, but also correct one or two false rumours of the time, including that that he was supposedly locked up on Rikers Island for selling drugs. Pure heat from the very early 90s.

Blade : Rough It Up

Long before his union with Mark B (RIP) that many of you will know him for, Blade was an MC who absolutely personified the grind and the real DIY attitude. His first LP, "The Lion Goes From Strength To Strength", was in my opinion the original crowd-funded album, and the determined and defiant nature required to undertake such a task in 1991 is evident on this early 12"! He's talking about his real life right down to washing dishes to pay the bills, over a soup of funk cooked up by his own hand alongside the underground legendary engineer/producer "No Sleep" Nigel. I learned about this record when Pete Tong played it as a brand new tune on Radio 1, and it made me a Blade fan for life.

K-Def : Get A Clue

I needed something funky for this spot, and with the help of a bit of looping to make it a suitable length, I found it on K-Def's "Willie Boo Boo" collection, which is one that the beat heads should definitely have in their collections.

Aretha Franklin : Young, Gifted, and Black

What can you say? I thought this soaring anthem would be a great record to end the episode on. Nina Simone was the original writer (with Weldon Irvine) and performer of this song, back in 1969, but just three years later Aretha released this incredible version as the title track of her eighteenth (!) studio album. I certainly remember hearing many versions of this track as a child, and this is the perfect time to bring it out for all of you. Turn up the volume and take in the mastery.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

[traveltrainsandcoffee]

2017/18 F.F.L REVIEW

In the past few seasons Liverpool fans Neil O’Flynn and Kieron Mullin had totally dominated FFL.  Between them they had won 10 FFL trophies and cups, including every possible title last season. Both were among the favourites for the new season. In fact Kieron only needed one more trophy to go head of Stally and level with Mark Taylor at the top of the all-time trophy winners list. Could anyone stop them this season? Well this season marked the 20th anniversary of Chris Gooding eventful first season in FFL. Goodo was keen to make up for those disappointments. You can never write off The Hawk or Stally. Maybe Jack Jarvis could make up for a poor last season and prove 2016 wasn’t a one hit wonder. FFL history was made and we got our first ever South American manager. Luis was very keen to get started, but question were asked, ‘could the boy from Brasil do it on a cold wet Wednesday night in Stoke?’

The season opened with the Bennett’s Shield, Kieron going for 3 in a row. He faced FA cup winner Neil O’Flynn. Flynny beat Kieron to win the Shield, Chelsea’s poor opening game proving costly for Kieron. Luis Chaves was the surprised leader on the opening day. The on/off deal for Liverpool’s Coutinho was making the headlines. This story dragged on and on, but it the end he left to play in Spain. In the Champions League The Hawk beat both Gaz Smith and defending champion Kieron to take control of group A. The Hawk blasted Kieron saying ‘ I’m ending you this season, starting today’ Flynny made a good start and Beat Chris Geoghegan. Chris who only hours before the deadline dropped Liverpool’s new signing Mo Salah. Boy was that going to prove to be costly. Not that he was worried at this point, in fact he was busy filming his infamous drunk Forest dance. That and not understanding that if you have 3 teams in a group, only 2 of them can play each week.

The first league table of the season saw Steve Tatham top, The Hawk 2nd, Luis 3rd, Goodo 4th and Flynny 5th. Defenders missing across the league saw Pen points everywhere, NOT TO #HARTGATE levels, but still not great. By the end of September the FFL looked like the Premiership United top (The Hawk) and City (Jack Jarvis) second. Chris and Steve were 3rd and 4th with defending champion Kieron 5th. Gaz Smith Sally Mundin, Goodo and Tappy all crashed out after the first group stage of the champion’s league

Into October and THE HAWK was the first person to break the 100 point mark. In the big champions’ league group game he beat Chris too. Things were going great for the Hawk. By the middle of the month he was 17 points ahead of Chris and 19 ahead of Jack. He then took Stally apart in the champion’s league. Stally had lost both of his second round games and looked in trouble. A poor couple of week damaged Chris’s hopes. There then followed 2 international games against Germany and Brasil. I went to one and Luis the other, No prizes for guessing which ones we went too. During this down time managers needed something to fill the gap left by not FFL.  Lee Ritchie met Bruce Grobbelaar and filled our FFL stream with confusing football questions.

A brilliant weekend after the international break for Jack Jarvis saw him go top of the league with The Hawk second and Mark Kiszka third. After losing his first 2 games in the champions league second group stage Stally won the next four to win his group. Stally, Jamie Burnett, The Hawk and Kieron made the semi’s. As Alan Pardew returned to the Premiership Jack opened up a small gap on the Hawk with Lee Ritchie third. Goodo’s season had fallen apart and as winter set in Luis was trying to hang on to the leaders.  Jack Jarvis was the Christmas number one.  Man City had helped him open up a 20 point lead over the Hawk and Daz Tingle. As Mo Salah fired in goals everywhere Chris started to regret dropping him. By my birthday The Hawk had slipped away a little. 2nd and 3rd places kept swapping, but Jack was clear and past the 200 point mark. The champions league Semi saw two close games. Kieron’s bad luck in semis returned and The Hawk beat him over two legs, pen points being his undoing. Stally beat Jamie in the other semi. Could Stally win his 4th Champion league title in March?

Jack, Daz and Kieron got 1st round FA cup byes. Alan Pardew and Rod Stewert made the first round draw. Flynny, Luis, Chris and Michael Dymond won their games. The Hawk drew with Tracey Grant. Tracey won the replay. Never a dull moment in the Life of Alan Pardew. The man who had a touch line bust up with Wenger, head butted a Hull player and did the crazy dance in the FA cup final was facing relegation at West Brom. To try and get the players in a better frame of mind he took them for a short break in Spain. Sadly 4 senior players got drunk stole a Taxi and took it to McDonalds. As Steve Tatham said ‘This was an error of UBER proportions.

Early March and the double was on for Jack. 30 points clear at the top and into the semi-finals after crushing Michael Dymond. Defending cup holder Flynny put an end to Luis’s hopes of a trophy in his first season, or was it the Beast from the East that did it? The cold weather pretty much ended our friend from Brasil’s hopes.  Pen points again ended Kieron’s hope as Tracey made the semi’s. Chris beat Daz in the other game. Jack was almost 40 points clear now and league was over, but could he become only the second manager to win the double?  As Jamie Carragher was spitting out of his car window, Stally had a 2 point lead over the Hawk in the champions league final. Mo Salah continued to break records and Chris really started to regret dropping him on deadline day. His points would have put him close to Jack and above the Hawk. No FFL at the end of March due to another international break so FFL took time to remember that time Senol Durmush looked bored at the Darts. Lee Ritchie did another confusing football question, don’t think anyone ever did answer it???

Easter Weekend and the second leg of the champions league. Easter Sunday I was fishing in Hartsholme Park. It went right to the wire. Messages back and forth, finger nails bitten. The Hawk won by just one point over two legs to win his first Champions League. The following weekend was FA Cup semi-finals. Jack beat Tracey and marched on towards the double. In the other semi Flynny beat Chris by 1 point. Could Flynny defend the FA cup? In the league Jack was 40 points clear and almost at 300 points. Daz 2nd, Lee 3rd and the Hawk 4th. The FA changed one of Spurs goal scorer to Kane. Thank F@@k both Chris and Flynny had him or it could have got very messy.

The end of April and Jack hits the 300 mark. 45 points clear of Lee and Daz. In a very close FA Cup final Flynny beat Jack Jarvis by just 2 points. This moved Flynny to fourth on the all-time FFL honours list. The defeat ended Jack’s hope of the double, but as Lincoln won at Wembley Jack was almost 50 points clear. Man City won the premiership with a record 100 points. Jack didn’t break Stally’s record, but on a hot sunny afternoon watching Chelsea win the FA Cup on a big Screen in Boultham Park, Jack did win the league by a record margin.

So Jack won the league, Flynny won the Bennetts shield and FA Cup and The Hawk won the champions league. Kieron went trophy less. A good season for Daz Tingle and Lee Ritchie. My nephew Oliver Taylor-Yassin was the highest Taylor. Not a great season for any of our family. Apart from Tracey Grant’s Semi-final and Champions league place, it was a terrible season for female FFL managers, things must get better next season ladies.  In fact the bottom six teams were even managed or partly managed by women or Chris Gooding. That’s another season over, World cup and World cup FFL in a few weeks. Can’t wait.

Thanks for another great season of FFL.

Next seasons Champions League group

GROUP      A

J      JARVIS

C      GEOGHEGAN

K      MULLIN

GROUP      B

C      HAWKINS

S      TATHAM

D      TINGLE

GROUP      C

N      O'FLYNN

T      GRANT

M      KISZKA

GROUP      D

L      RITCHIE

J      BURNETT

P      STALLEBRASS

    Final thought

What if Chris Geoghegan hadn’t dropped Mo Salah on deadline day?

MT

[hellavision]

liveblogging mama 2017

so here we are again

3rd time's the charm everyone i'm back and i'm better

let sgoooo

day6 are finally at the mamas, three years in the making and three years after me asking for it and they look. so good

wonpil, sweetie, who owns my heart

HANSOL go off babie !!!!

hansol sweetie :(((((

my boy

our boy !!! we love !!

i'm so glad he got to perform with dynamic duo i'm really proud of him !

grasp the mind ,??? artistic legends taemin and sunmi

fatal temptation ???? they didn't come to play

TAEMIN is hooked up and shirtless i don't know what i'm feeling there's just a lot of it

king of being. blindfolded

he's so talented !!!!!!!

he's so ethereal i want to bathe in his mind my guy

oh they lift him !! honey

this gal covering her eyes . me too

the light sticks

the blue lighting !! it's so beautiful

taemin is so beautiful

jongin. !!!

door is such a good song

SUNMI

i'm not ready. i'm not ready for sunmi and taemin to hand my ass to me

oh BITCH

she looks so good !!

this wo maaaaaan

choaaaa

can't nobody stop me now nAooo try me

glare into my  soul

this dress oh man

jongdae's lol smile

oooo there's a pause

TAEMIN

classy king

k i l l me

the point and shoot at each other and the glare WHO DO I LOOK AT

they're doing it for the bisexuals

what do i do

who am i

who are u

what the FUCK happened to namjoon's head

he looks like a damn fool

i'm so so happy spring day won i love it so much

yes cherry bomb

taeil jaehyun and doyoung look ffffine

taeyong n mark are v festive. nice

RED VELVET i am alive. i am breathing. my sinuses are open

they're so magical !! they're a dream

I WAS VITAMIN D DEFICIent until i heard red flavour

i've been saying heize wrong this whole time

i've been saying high-zz

heize looks so beautiful

first woman in four years to win that category i'm so happy for her !!

taemin !!!!!!

the fistbump awh

move was choreographed so beautifully and executed just as well i'm so happy he has recognition for that

the umbrellas are really really beautiful

come through soyou

the hat pushing chanyeol's ears forward !!!! he has my heart

soyou is a real life angel

ailee is another real life angel

i don't really go there but bolbbalgan4 seem really sweet and their vocal are really unique i'm glad for them

exo ls and army's are fighting ,,, why can't weeee be frieeeeends

guys like. i ult both exo and bts do you know how FUN it is get into it !! ur missing out !! i'm having such a good fucking time have some fun let loose enjoy urself it's just kpop x

i mean don't stan if you don't wanna stan i'm talking about the people who just hate one or the other for no reason

congrats to nct !!!

wow. i didn't know much about hyukoh at all but now listening to them , wow !!!

they're like ,,,, incendiary

definitely am going to listen to their entire discography later this performance was absolutely incredible it wa s so magical and powerful it really struck a chord (eh x) they're so good !!

this medley !!!! play it at my funeral !!

red velvet !!!!!!!!!!!

they've worked so so so hard this year and it's paid off i'm so proud and so happy for them aaaaa

truly what they deserved

i'm not letting bts accept the best asian style award when namjoon's head looks like that

it's peak

the rest of them though 11/10 solid yes x

wait

wai t

EXO

whaaaaat

OOOO

OOOOOOOOOO

JONGIN

i'm. overwhelmasfd

ohhhhh my goooood

baekhyun !!!!! kyungsoo!!!!!

my stream is starting to lag a tiny bit and NOW IS Not the time stay strong

SHIMMY SHIMMY ko ko bop

awoooooooooooo

jongin is so naked i'm overwhelmed

minseok !!!!!!!

break it down now

aaaa

we don't deserve exo or their dabs

OOOOOOOOOOOO

when jongin entered the light

he is so talented !!!!! he has total jurisdiction over this ass

:0 taemin !

kim jongin has rocked my world

take my house !! take my car that doesn't exist !!

i'm feeling every single emotion. i have transcended emotions

OH BITCH !!!!! power ?,, It's a party

power makes me so happy when i tell u i have a good fuckin time watching them perform it

‼️‼️ we take shots ‼️‼️

not @ kyungsoo's bolo tie. yeehaw

the exos own my heart

who flexed. who was it

oh nvm it was all of them

got7!!! 2young have my entire heart

jongin hugging sungwoon !!! bear !!

tuned out during wanna one and sujus performances to play tetris i'm sorry

oh bitch. it's time 4 bullet proof boy scouts

water earth fire air long ago the four nations lived together in harmony then everything changed when the fire nation attacked only the avatar

OOOOOO

i haven't heard not today in centuries

oooo !!!!!!

look at hoseok go !!!!

pop it lock it and polkadot it king !!

taehyung how daaaare u

now listen. jungkook , has a good face

yoongi's annoying ass is so hype i'm excited for cypher skskjsk

this is so cool

oh mic drop oh boy oh man o boy

big fat yes to these suits HOO

this TUDE from hoseok

namjoon looks like a goddamn clown i love and respect and appreciate you but the glasses and hair are not only ineffective but counterproductive to ur aim x

this .... d ance break

oh BItCH

bitch !!!

biiitch

well

i am. exhausted

:0 daesangs

what's happening what day is it

i'm still reeling

............

wEll

jimin taemin and jongin !! awhhhhh

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

they've had the most incredible year i'm so happy to see them smiling and hear them all talking they deserve it so much

:((( yoongi

"peace"

last year they were all so emotional and it's really nice this year to see them all so happy and excited and like. content u know

this is such a happy time like !!!

and now we wait to see how long it takes for someone to dig out the 19/03/2013 teamwork makes the dream work tweet

album of the year ! album of the year !

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the exos !!!!!! our boys !!!!!

the war is SO good i'm so happy for them !!

junmyeon

wait. pcy is crying ???

oh noooooo don't cry :(((

did jongin just whisper in his ear ??? so much is happening

sehun is laughing what is going on

chanyeol tried to talk i :(((((( pls

babieeee

give him a hug

w ait is minseok crying ?????

he hasn't cried since 2013 i !!!!!

:(((

i'm gonna have an aneurysm

i'm so happy and so proud of and so full of love for exo !!!!!

our loud disney prince jongdae skskkskska

sehun is holding that man from suju's hands :(((( a giant babie

today is such a happy day !!!! daesangs for exo and bts i'm so proud of them both trials and tribulations lead to love and celebrations am i right chingus x

honestly they deserve it so much and i'm just so happy and content !!!

last year i said “[shinee] don’t even need to be at mama to end it. bye can u imagine how good kibum would have looked. what stops he would have pulled out. a shame”

this is all still true

until next year everyone , it's been real

(soz if i made no sense, im very deliriously sick lol)

#millie watches mamas #three cheers for three years pals x