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#just to prevent all of the damage done to me
flashy-mf · 2 days
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Things my cluster b folks understand that others (probably) don’t
Unable to love someone and be mad at them at the same time. Anger automatically equals hate. I’m angry at you, I hate you. I’m not mad anymore, I’m done hating you.
Several months of psychologically damaging social isolation followed by one shallow, purely transactional friendship you’ll purposely torch into flames at the first sign of a reason.
All the hindsight in the world and almost no foresight.
When someone insults you so now your whole identity is ruined and you have to discard that one in favor of building another
Being so irritable for no reason. You just start getting angry at strangers for existing in your vicinity, and your personal space gets multiplied by ♾️ Now everyone feels way too close even when they’re nowhere near you.
Being totally convinced others are using you based solely upon how many things you didn’t want to do but agreed to anyway because you forgot you have feelings and needs
Raise the bar so high that you don’t have friends, get so lonely that you just straight up get rid of the bar and have no standards, get hurt, raise your standards exceptionally high to prevent yourself from letting anyone near you again. But now you’re lonely… so you get rid of the bar-
Moving on from everything really fast. Emotions last seconds, minutes, a couple hours. Even largely complex, traumatic emotions like grief and mortal fear. It’s Tuesday, the end of all that’s alive, and then it’s still Tuesday.
Always craving some specific form of emotional void-fill. You don’t know what you need, but you do know it’s never anything you obtain. “I’m so goddamn thirsty, but all this water I’m surrounded by has no effect no matter how much I drink.”
Every want and need has to be a dilemma for some reason. Because being on the same page with yourself is just illegal for us. Love me, hate me, want me, and leave me alone. Yes, all at once. You physically can’t? Well, shit. Screw everything, then.
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shitty-quotes · 1 month
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everyone always asks "if you could tell your younger self something, what would you say?", ive always answered "i dont know, probably hey dont be friends with this person" but i think thats just my answer to pacify people.
my real answer would be "break yourself before they break you. they cant hurt you if theres nothing for them to hurt. build a wall around your heart and mind. and let no one in."
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seiwas · 9 months
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#it’s kind of my read into bakugo when it comes to themes of regret and reconciliation (with many things)#bc it’s how i feel like i understand him the most#i think he lives with a lot of regret as he matures!!! probably cringes at the embarrassing shit he did in middle school#and how difficult it is for him to kind of correct things#esp bc i think he struggles a bit with expressing how he feels adequately#lowkey feel like theres lots of miscomm when it comes to what he means vs what comes out/how it sounds#and also i think theres always going to be a part of him that will never be satisfied making up for his wrongs#idt he’ll ever feel like it’s enough bc damage done is still damage done#and honestly u break up bc of that#in the middle of ur relationship i think that regret eats at him a lot and it carries over to his feelings w u#and i feel like in an effort to salvage / prevent damage from being done / prevent him from regretting anything in your relationship#he breaks it off#but honestly that’s the dumbest thing he can do bc he regrets it even more now haha#so the fic will touch on all those things!!#im anticipating it to be longer than 7k for sure! cos there’s a lot to unpack i feel#but yea ! pls let me know !#also the music that inspires me for this are:#1. will it ever feel the same (bazzi)#2. xx (the millennial club)#3. when it’s just you and i (the millennial club)#4. sunbleach (christian kuria) <- this one the most omfg#5. thinking bout you (rei brown & joji)#6. could i be somebody (rei brown)#7. waiting for you (rei brown)#not necessarily bc of the lyrics but more the ~~vibes of it THO some lyrics hit too#ANYWAY THATS ALL thank u for listening to me blabber#shotorus.process#will any of you even be interested in an ex bakugo fic#there are so many good ones out there alr 😭😭😭
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splatfest · 8 months
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18, 20, 23 (Music asks) <3
from the year that you were born (2002):
+ headfirst for halos - my chemical romance + the fix is in - ok go
that has many meanings to you:
+ cable through your heart - bryan scary
that you think everyone should listen to:
+ sad boys - dazey and the scouts + saturdays for the boys (saturdays for the boys) - 1 trait danger
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kafus · 9 months
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how i caught entei in leafgreen in the most ridiculous way possible
SO last week i started a pokemon leafgreen file on my childhood cart i've had since my 5th birthday, and one my goals ended up being getting every owned dex entry possible in JUST the one copy of leafgreen without connecting to any other game… and i did. except i forgot one. ENTEI!!
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like probably a lot of you reading this i COMPLETELY forgot that one of the johto roaming beasts is in every copy of FRLG. i never even caught any of them as a kid. which roamer you get is based on your starter (squirtle = raikou, bulbasaur = entei, charmander = suicune) and i happened to pick bulbasaur so my roamer was entei. it does actually ROAM in kanto, aka whenever you change locations, the pokemon moves to a new route. obviously this is a pain in the ass, but it gets even more painful because roamers can flee from the battle and they will the instant you encounter them. you get the chance to throw one ball or use one move and that's it… so like in most pokemon games, you would use a trapping move like mean look to keep the roamer in the battle and turn it into a normal legendary encounter, right? HAHA WRONG
raikou and entei are affected by the ROAMER ROAR BUG in FRLG, which means if they use roar to escape the battle (yes, even in mean look, it doesn't stop roar from working) they just disappear from the game. permanently. forever. you can never capture it. suicune is not affected by this because it doesn't have roar, but my roamer was entei, so uh. the odds were stacked against me. did i want to repetitively encounter the roamer over and over, never trapping it, just throwing one ball each time? or did i want to set up a mean look pokemon only to have to soft reset every time entei used roar? neither option sounded fun and i was going to just give up and master ball it despite REALLY wanting it in a luxury ball like all the other kanto legendaries i had already caught… UNTIL!
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i am a moderator of the ribbon master discord (a different pokemon challenge) and i was just sorta liveposting my thought process about this annoying roamer when gen 3 rng manipulation extraordinaire ddeeffgg crashes into the chat and suggests this fucking bonkers idea. and his bonkers idea is galaxy brain LET ME EXPLAIN
ariados is available in leafgreen's post game by catching spinarak in pattern bush, and of course electrode is a fairly common kanto pokemon. ariados gets access to spider web, which is basically just mean look with a different name (and i completely forgot it existed), it traps the opponent in the battle. but IMPORTANTLY, it ALSO gets access to BATON PASS… which, in gen 3, passes the trapping effect! usually if you were to use spider web and swap out ariados, the opponent would no longer be trapped, but baton pass solves that! and then electrode has the ability soundproof which prevents roar from working, and it even gets thunder wave (paralysis) and sonicboom (consistent 20 damage with no chance of accidental crits) to assist in easier capture of entei! nice!! awesome!! but getting this setup in order is the most ridiculous shit i've ever done in leafgreen
PROBLEM #1: ariados gets baton pass through egg move. in gen 3, egg moves are only passed down by the father and not the mother, so i had to grab a male ledyba, grind it to a high enough level to learn baton pass, then grab a female spinarak and breed them together. unfortunately this means my ariados would be level 1 and i'd have to train it up quite a bit, which leads into my next problem…
PROBLEM #2: ariados is SLOWWW. its base speed is a measly 40 compared to entei's whopping 100! ariados needs to outspeed entei to use spider web first turn so entei can't just run away! i would have to get ariados to a very high level to outspeed entei, grinding all the way from level 1. the one plus side is that the roamers in FRLG are bugged to always have a 0 IV in defense, special attack, special defense, and speed, which means unless entei has a +speed nature, its speed would always be a predictable and relatively low 105 at level 50, which is what it's encountered at. so i had to get an ariados with a speed of 106 or higher.
to get around both these problems as efficiently as possible, while breeding spinarak, i bred quite a few to get one with a +speed nature, and ended up with a jolly spinarak. everstone doesn't work in FRLG unfortunately, so the nature was completely random each time. soon my DAUGHTER WAS BORN after like 2-3 hours of breeding because FRLG eggs are SLOOOW and i was being stubborn about the nature, which i was getting unlucky on LOL
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then i maxed out her speed EVs real quick by fighting picnicker susie on route 13 over and over, who gives 12 speed EVs per battle, 24 with the macho brace, which i was using. this was just to make sure i would reach 106+ speed as fast as possible. then i grinded her levels by repetitively fighting the two trainers right outside the weird chansey dance guy's house in sevault canyon on seven island, right above tanoby ruins. using the vs seeker on them is the best grinding spot in the game since they give 20k experience per fighting both of them and there's a healing spot Right There. i was using exp share and leading with my level 100 jolteon named Egg who i adore with all my heart. ariados, now named koolaid, ended up crossing the speed threshold at level 62! yes this took a while lmao
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as for electrode, i wanted one at as high of a level as possible so i hopefully wouldn't have to grind levels. i lucked out as electrode is found at a whopping level 64 in cerulean cave's bottom floor. a 5% encounter rate but as i had already caught numerous 5%s for the pokedex, i didn't really care. however it DOES have explosion and i'd rather not have the electrode explode on me before i could catch it which would then send me on a wild goose chase for ANOTHER 5% electrode… so i grabbed the random level 24 poliwhirl with the damp ability, which prevents explosion from working, out of my PC, and gave it a smoke ball from the celadon game corner so i could lead with her and easily run from each encounter that Wasn't Electrode.
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now you may be wondering how i was going to handle capturing electrode once i was actually in the battle because SURELY it would just use thunderbolt or something and instantly murder my poliwhirl. however funnily enough electrode only has two attacking moves at level 64, swift and explosion. explosion obviously doesn't work, and swift is a physical attack in gen 3 due to all normal type moves being physical, this was before the physical/special split in gen 4. electrode's physical attack stat is a garbage 50 and swift only has a base power of 60 so i honestly wasn't concerned. and best of all, poliwhirl gets the move hypnosis, so i could easily put electrode to sleep and start chucking ultra balls… and the smoke ball ended up being useless because i somehow ran into electrode first try what the fuck LOL
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anyways i named them gatorade to match with koolaid. truly the dream entei capturing team. i didn't even feel the need to grind any levels on gatorade, level 64 was more than enough, so i just slapped the two moves i wanted on them - thunder wave through the one-use tutor in silph co, and sonicboom through the move reminder on two island, costing me two tinymushrooms which i thankfully already had and did not have to go out of my way to grind.
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however the hours worth of prep ISN'T DONE YET! because uhh…
PROBLEM #3: ariados has to be above entei's level to outspeed it (yes, even if it had a 31 IV in speed AND a speed boosting nature AND maximum speed EVs, it still wouldn't be enough at level 50), which means the repel trick can't be used to encounter it. tracking down the roamer is practically impossible without using repels to cancel out all other wild pokemon, and in gen 3, unlike later gens, you can't put a fainted pokemon in the front of the party for the repel trick instead. and if i DON'T lead with ariados, entei will run away when i try to swap into it. SO i decided i would have to run into entei once first through the repel trick method, which marks it as "seen" in the pokedex, and then i would track its location through the pokedex to encounter it while leading with ariados.
to accomplish this, i simply ran in and out of the building on route 16, going in and out of the grass in the process, which would constantly be randomizing entei's location until it happened to randomize onto route 16. i caught a staryu with illuminate as an ability to raise the chance of entei appearing, which does work while staryu is fainted (wouldn't want to go in and out of the grass while entei was on route 16 without encountering it!) and otherwise led with my level 50 magmar that was on my elite four team named Torch for the repel trick.
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i bought a whopping 100 max repels for this task but i ended up getting entei within just a few lol. torch was holding the smoke ball just to be able to run away safely without any shenanigans!
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and now entei was in the pokedex and able to be tracked that way!
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however, there was still ONE more problem...
PROBLEM #4: luxury balls are a pain in the ASS to get in this game! they can't be bought from any shop. the only way to repeatedly get luxury balls in FRLG is to show a pokemon to selphy, a rich girl who lives in resort gorgeous on five island.
i will mostly skim over this because it's boring, but TLDR i had to continuously talk to her, fly back to the pokemon center, get the pokemon she wanted to see out of the PC because the step limit is 250 before she gets sick of waiting which is like nothing (i already had a living dex of every mon obtainable in leafgreen otherwise so this wasn't hard), surf to her, then spam A through dialogue with her butler in which i had a 70% chance of receiving a luxury ball. i did this over 40 times until i had 30 luxury balls, and sold off all the nuggets and other items she gave me. good lord this took a while
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and now with ALL of that setup i was FINALLY ready to capture entei in a luxury ball. this took me literally all day and i was really excited. to consistently encounter entei, i saved in cerulean city and tracked it in the pokedex from there, opening it over and over after changing to any of the four routes connected to the city, and moving to an adjacent route from entei's location when it was close in the hopes of walking onto the same route it moved to when i did. i was following a map made by hangarofroam, he has a video tutorial on how to shiny hunt the FRLG roamers and encounter them as quickly as possible, and i highly recommend looking it up if you want to capture these roamers yourself, but tldr this is the map i was using:
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and once i encountered entei i was finally able to use the strategy i had prepped so long to do... and it worked without a hitch!! entei can't try to use roar first turn because it wastes a turn trying to flee, which is prevented by ariados outspeeding and using spider web... then if it tries to use roar the next turn, i've already switched into electrode to block it with soundproof. so from there it's just a matter of whittling down entei's HP to the red with swift/sonicboom and paralyzing it with thunder wave, then tossing luxury balls until success!
and i GOT IT after 3 encounter attempts and 73 luxury balls thrown. and FINALLY i have all 171 national dex entries possible in a single copy of leafgreen with no connection to other games, and all the legendaries are in fancy ass luxury balls. i am winning.
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this was ridiculous. please be proud of my accomplishments. i've had this file for less than 2 weeks and i already have over 70 hours of gameplay in it after doing all this AAAAA
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also barely related but look at Egg my jolteon he had like no purpose in this story but i took a pic of him in front of entei before going on to capture entei because i love him so much pleas
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thanks for coming to my fucking ted talk i am SOOO normal about pokemonsdfjkfds (joke)
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tiredsadpeach · 1 year
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I’m so lost lol
#my friends are mad at me and I don’t fully know why#so tw weight and slight ed mention#so friend A tweeted about how he gained 10 pounds because of depressed binge eating and his psychiatrist prescribed him meds to prevent it#and he felt really weird about it so I replied and was like yeah it does feel kinda weird especially if they didn’t ask/know about his past#relationship with food because that could be very mentally damaging and in the first reply I didn’t include anything calling him fat or#saying that gaining weight was bad or anything like that I just asked if the psychiatrist knew his past relationship with food and he said#yes but they might’ve forgotten and like okay but imo a psychiatrist should be more careful and I believe in questioning the people on charg#of our health yknow? everything seemed fine and then suddenly his boyfriend who is also my friend we’ll call her friend B replies to me and#was just very aggressive implied that I was saying friend A was fat and that gaining weight is bad and acting like I didn’t know binge eatin#is dangerous and because she was aggressive my reply was aggressive and I solidified my point about how the medication could be abused enjoy#but reiterated that I don’t think friend A would do that and that psychiatrists shouldn’t just immediately prescribe something that could#worsen someone’s mental health and I forgot to add in that reply that like you should work through alternatives first before just prescribin#something like that to someone who has an ed like that’s dangerous idc who you think you are and tbh that psychiatrist doesn’t know friend A#as well as us especially friend B because they’re dating so I was kinda just baffled that she was mad at me like what had I done??#and then all she said was that any and all medication could be abused so I just said okay sorry because like obviously you’re not really#seeing my point and I was also at work so I did not have the energy for this and so I tweeted clarifying things and feeling angry and#confused like I never said anything in an attempt to hurt my friends and of course I know that doesn’t mean they weren’t hurt but as far as#I know I never hurt friend A’s feelings so idk why his bf came at me so aggressively and THEN friend B starts subtweeting about me saying#imagine not knowing anything about anything which of course hurt lmao like thanks I only see you as my best friend and you are my fp so I#was irritated and just tweeted im tired of this and logged out for a while but I got curious and looked and in response friend B tweeted#I don’t coddle 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ and so I made a tweet about not knowing wtf I truly did wrong and how my opinion makes me stupid and ended with ju#me since you don’t coddle because tbh I was just pissed like why is me not trusting a psychiatrist turning into this big fucking thing AND#THEN friend A tweets about how subtweeting is immature and it’s better to just apologize and don’t get defensive and I just 😐 so because#that’s how we’re communicating lmao I tweeted about how can I apologize if idk wtf I even did and why am I in trouble for subtweeting when#friend B did the exact same thing!!!!! this whole thing is driving me insane tbh and I’m so so tired of how whenever me and friend B get#in an argument or fight she starts subtweeting/posting about me and honestly has said some things that I still haven’t recovered from lmao#within a week I have been a punching bag for two people I thought loved and cared about me and I just don’t fucking know what to do! l#liek if I had hurt friend A’s feelings please just TELL ME instead of getting all passive aggressive because idk you think you know more#which idk maybe you do but I’m just echoing that I also found it weird! just liek your bf did!! but no I guess when I voice that I’m just#wrong and bad like okay great and now you’re not talking to me and you’ve turned your bf against me so I’m gonna lose two friends most liekl
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beekeep · 1 year
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Saw this post floating around, don’t wanna target anyone or argue with Zionists, but it is my duty (especially as an actually indigenous Jew) to educate well-meaning gentiles who might see this and think they have no right to speak on the matter. I’ll go point by point.
1) “Is it so terrible for a Jew to be a Zionist?”
If we were living in any other era, where the genocidal crimes of Israel were not as widely known (though they were very well documented), you could perhaps ask this question in sincerity. Many Jews (such as myself) grow up in religious educational settings which either fail to mention the human rights violations of the state or claim they’re justified because “they want to kill us!” Past a certain point, though, one can’t continue to claim ignorance of what Zionism actually does. Short answer: yes, it is terrible for anyone to claim to be a Zionist, but this will be more evident as I continue to analyze these arguments.
2) “Zionism is the belief in the inherent right of the Jewish people to return to their homeland”
First of all, Palestine is not the “homeland” of the Jewish people any more than Siberia is the homeland of indigenous american tribes. Is there a historical connection? Yes, but though assimilation and migration Jews have found homes across the world. For me, my homeland is Mexico, because my family has lived there for generations, partly through migration but mostly through having cultivated the land for millennia. Even biblically speaking, Palestine does not “belong” to the Jewish people, it belongs to G-d. Furthermore, there is no shortage of Jewish scholarship and activism that asserts that wherever we live, that is our homeland. Frankly, I’m more interested in fighting to stay where I am than fighting to force people out of their homes to accommodate me.
3) “Zionism is the belief in the Jewish right not to be murdered”
By murdering others instead? Once again, there is no shortage of Jewish scholarship and activism in favor of Jewish self defense where we live. Jewish resistance fighters lived and died fighting the nazis in Europe under the third reich. If Zionism was actually interested in preventing Jewish death, it would fight antisemitism where it is. “Preventing murder” is not an excuse to commit genocide.
4) “there are so many definitions of Zionism”
Sorry but I just think of this tweet from @jewdas on Twitter when I read this: “There’s a actual existing Zionism which practices apartheid and denial of human rights. But there’s another Zionism inside my head which is all rainbows and kosher marshmallows, so who can say which is the real Zionism?” In other words, the actual, material consequences of Zionist beliefs are more important than what any individual thinks their Zionism is. Once again, we live in the Information Age, where anyone can easily learn about the damage that Zionism has done in Palestine and abroad. There is no excuse to continue using the label that doesn’t presuppose complete ignorance of Israeli violence.
5) “zionists just want to be safe from antisemitism in the diaspora”
See points 3 & 4.
6) “and this is different from evangelical zionists”
Materially speaking, not really. Once again, see point 4. Until you pull all US/european colonial support for Israel, this claim falls flat.
7) “zionists just want to live peacefully with other indigenous people in the area”
That’s not what indigeneity is, it doesn’t mean “from there,” it’s a specific relationship to the land and to its cultivation. (On a side note, even biblically and historically speaking, Jews are not “from” Palestine.) See point 2. Zionism has proven it is not a peaceful ideology. See point 4.
8) “people refuse to see the difference in types of Zionism because they hate the Jews”
No, it’s because there are no material differences. See point 4. Evangelical Zionism and Jewish Zionism actually share quite a bit in common. The “Jewish state” would not exist without evangelical Zionists. See point 6. And the original Jewish Zionist thinkers had a vested interest in tying the two together.
tl;dr, Zionism is a violent ideology in practice, and no amount of making excuses can hide the fact that it is genocidal and serves European/American interests. Additionally, just because one is not Jewish does not mean one does not have a duty and an obligation to eliminate Zionism wherever it crops up. Zionism has had disastrous consequences for Palestinians, and as western citizens, we benefit from their suffering. It must end now. May Palestine be freed in our lifetimes.
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velvetvexations · 14 days
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Thank you for sticking up for transmascs while being transfem. Not a lot of folks would do the same. It really, really means so much
I have trans masc friends who deal with it a lot and it's really frustrating to see them have to put up with this kind of bullshit in my name.
But it's also at least a little selfish, because the 'in my name' thing really fucks me up. TMA/TME discoursers want me to be the biggest victim in the room and they actively prevent me from feeling like that's true. Trans mascs getting ran through the dirt to elevate trans fems feels like I'm the Bad class of person the same if I were a cis man or something. It is literally accomplishing the opposite of their goal lmao. So, I try push back against that, and hopefully make trans mascs feel like they have trans fem support.
And like, for all they want to say that believing in transandrophobia is a TERF dog whistle, it's like, hello? The narrative that the trans community favors AMAB trans people and walks all over AFAB trans folk is a huge TERF thing, what the fuck are you doing walking into this bear trap. Making this fantasy scenario TERFs made up to paint being trans as a patriarchal psyop a reality does nothing but invalidate me and cause serious damage to the entire community.
The weirdest thing is that a lot of it is usually trans masc or otherwise AFAB folk. I'm not saying no trans fems do it, obviously, some do and I truly, truly hate them, but so many are 'TME' folks throwing themselves off a cliff trying to be 'one of the good ones' and it's surreal and kinna disturbing to supposedly be done for my sake. But the plus side to that is that they usually need to take my voice seriously, if they don't just ignore what I have to say.
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wilchur · 6 months
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Isn't it a bit odd that Gortash is the only one who had no idea where tf Durge disappeared off to? Between him having to be there during the raid to crown the brain with Durge and Ketheric, and Orin showing up right after all like "I'm the Chosen of Bhaal now :)" I find it hard to believe that he not only didn't realise something must've happened to Durge down there, but that he also did not investigate their disappearance at all? It literally takes like 10 minutes to go through the whole thing and Orin did not hide their "body" at all. And yeah "we promised to not meddle in each other's affairs" blah blah, but he spent A Lot of time in the colony after the raid playing with his pickled brain jars so is it really meddling if Durge was literally a 3 minute walk away, being opened and closed like a reusable Ikea ziplock bag over and over again?
So my headcanon is that he had no idea when exactly the attack happened because Orin took Durge's form right after the deed was done and kept the disguise on for as long as she could. By the time Gortash (running on 2h of sleep a day and sheer force of will, making sure everything Goes According To Plan) finally figured out what was going on, it's been too long to pinpoint the exact moment "Durge" began to act off and know where to look for their body at the very least. Plus it's not like he could put the entire scheme on pause just to go chasing ghosts, Durge would not want him to.
And I think it fucked him up a bit, that he took too long to notice and lost his chance at maybe preventing the entire thing from unraveling. I think that "we promised to not meddle in each other's affairs" is either a lie or him trying convince himself he couldn't have done anything anyways.
Now imagine a Durge that is not an idiot, that dug through every nook and cranny of Moonrise and the colony in search of answers and knows a lot more than Gortash assumes they do since they're supposed to be a full on amnesiac. A Durge that talked to the elderbrain, that read the prayer of forgiveness and recognised their own handwriting, and that learned from Balthazar's notes right next to it that this Enver Gortash they so admired spent considerable time there while they were being tortured endlessly just on the other side of the fleshy corridor.
Imagine that instead of "Orin betrayed me, and you did nothing to help me then." they would say something more along the lines of "You call me your nearest and dearest, your favourite, but I know you were right there when Baltahzar's necromancer played with me like a doll for weeks and did nothing to help me." and just watch this man disintegrate from the psychic damage in real time.
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lev1hei1chou · 24 days
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Make Or Break
Gojo x reader Genre: Angst to Comfort Words: 925 Synopsis: You get into an argument with Gojo Masterlist
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You and Satoru Gojo had always shared an unique dynamic. Banters were numerous, but actual arguments were a rare occurence. However, today's argument had escalated beyond your usual disagreements. The tension in the air was thick and overwhelming, creating an almost suffocating atmosphere in the room.
It started with a simple misunderstanding, a miscommunication that had eventually snowballed into a heated exchange of words. Gojo's piercing gaze bore into you as he argued his point vehemently, his words cutting through the air like a knife. Your own frustration bubbled to the surface, and soon, you were both caught in a whirlwind of accusations and harsh truths.
"Is it so hard for you to understand, Gojo? You never listen!" you snapped, your voice rising to match his intensity. "You act like you know everything, but you never take the time to truly understand how I feel!"
Gojo's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched in frustration. "Maybe if you were clearer about your feelings, I wouldn't have to play guessing games all the damn time!"
The room seemed to shrink as the argument intensified, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily between you. Hurtful phrases were exchanged like rapid-fire, each one leaving a deeper wound than the last.
"You're impossible to be with, Gojo. I can't keep up with your constant need to be right!"
"Oh, please. Maybe you just can't handle someone who challenges you for once."
The words hung in the air, a painful reminder of the growing rift between you. The initial spark that had drawn you together now felt like a distant memory. The raw emotion in Gojo's eyes mirrored your own internal turmoil.
In the midst of the chaos, neither of you noticed the tears that welled up in your eyes. The realization of the damage done sank in, but the anger still lingered, preventing either of you from taking a step back.
"I need space," you declared, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and sadness.
Gojo's expression hardened, but he nodded in reluctant agreement. "Fine. Take all the space you need."
With that, you stormed out of the room, leaving Gojo alone in the echoing silence. The weight of the argument settled on both of your shoulders, the once vibrant connection now strained and fragile.
The aftermath of the heated exchange left a bitter taste in your mouth, and only time would tell whether your relationship could cross these hurdles or if it would crumble under the weight of unspoken words.
*******************************
Days passed since the explosive argument with Satoru Gojo. The silence between you two hung heavy and the tension was a constant presence in the air.
It became a silent game of avoidance, with both of you trying to find solace in the absence of each other. However, as time went on, the longing for resolution grew, and the desire to fix what was broken became too strong to ignore.
One evening, the realization hit you like a ton of bricks - you couldn't let the argument be the end of everything you'd built with Satoru. With a heavy sigh, you decided to take the first step towards reconciliation. As you approached your shared room, your heart raced with a mix of nervousness and determination.
You knocked on the door, and after a moment of tense silence, Gojo opened it. His eyes met yours, revealing a mixture of surprise and uncertainty. Without saying a word, you stepped inside, and he closed the door behind you.
The room felt charged with unspoken emotions as you both stood there, unable to look directly at each other. Finally, you broke the silence, your voice quiet but resolute. "We can't keep avoiding this, Satoru."
He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I know, okay? But what do you want from me?"
"I want us to talk. Really talk. Without the yelling and the accusations," you replied, your gaze meeting his. "I miss us, Satoru. I miss the connection we used to have."
He hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, me too."
You took a deep breath, choosing your words carefully. "I know we both said things we didn't mean. I just… I want to understand you better, and I want you to understand me. Can we try to find a middle ground?"
Gojo sighed again, the weight of the situation evident in his eyes. "I don't want to lose you, you know? But sometimes I feel like you're pushing me away."
The vulnerability in his voice struck a chord within you. "I'm not trying to push you away. I just need you to listen, really listen, and not just assume you know what's best for me."
There was a moment of silence, and then Gojo nodded. "I can do that. I want to do that."
The air in the room shifted as you both acknowledged the need for change. It was a small step, but a significant one. You spent the next hours talking, opening up about your fears, frustrations, and desires. Slowly, the walls that had built up during the argument began to crumble.
As the night wore on, the conversation shifted from the heavy weight of the argument to the lighter, more tender aspects of your relationship. Laughter replaced the tension, and the genuine connection you'd feared lost began to resurface.
By the time you both decided to call it a night, there was a newfound understanding between you. A mere argument can't demolish the bond that was built from years of knowing each other.
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theoutcastrogue · 3 months
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That said, the D&D 3.5 Paladin was bad. It was badly designed, it had bad rules, and in conjunction with the other notoriously bad rule, alignment, it could cause havoc.
Now personally, I never had ANY problems with it in my tabletop games. I played paladins and loved it, and I loved it when other people played paladins, and it was great. But that's because, collectively as a group, we took ONE look at that terrible rule where the paladin's code of conduct prevents them from associating with Evil characters or "someone who consistently offends her moral code", and immediately went, "that's stupid, we ain't doing that, it would ruin the game".
We also didn't love the concept of alignment as a cosmic force, and didn't care for Usually Evil Goblins and Always Evil anything. And when a class's signature ability fully depends on whether creatures are capital E Evil, well that affects storytelling, doesn't it? But we all saw it the same way, and we were happily able to change it without any disagreements. In the end we had a Paladin… similar to 5e now that I think of it: completely ignore the Code's association clause, tailor the Code to personal stance or a specific Order, Detect only fiends and undead and the like, Smite anything you want, Fall only if you really fuck up, and never presume that just because you haven't Fallen yet everything you've ever done is justified and correct and anyone who disagrees with you is objectively wrong.
Basically, there were 2 options in 3.5. You either houseruled and/or handwaved things, and in matters of alignment interpretations erred on the side of "what makes the game go",
OR, you played with Rules As Written, and filled the forums with questions like "should the paladin fall?" (one such thread per week, conservatively), "we got into a fight over the Paladin, what to do?", "is it Evil to pick pockets? because we have a Paladin in the party", "the Assassin uses poison, shouldn't that offend my moral code?", and shit like that. Just... pointless strife, all the time. Again, never happened to me, but I was appalled to read about it, over and over and over.
People got intense with 3.5 Paladins (both pro and against) because it was BADLY DESIGNED and had BAD RULES. Its mechanics forced narrative choices on the entire table, and the only way to make it frictionless was having a party where no one wishes to explore a character's bad side ever, no one does things that aren't bad but WotC branded Evil™ in this or that splatbook, and everyone magically agrees all the time on "what is right and what is wrong" and "what is Lawful and what is Chaotic", which is simply impossible. The most subjective thing in the world (ethics!) was presented as an objective cosmic force, and how you interpreted it would determine how much damage the Paladin deals in combat, and whether the Paladin could keep associating with the party, and if the Paladin is still a Paladin. And all that in a game, let's not forget, whose basic, fundamental premise is "kill things and take their stuff". I'm sorry, this is tremendously stupid. It's the WORST design.
I know that for some people it worked as written, and good for them, but for the many many people it didn't work, well it's obvious why.
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nayatarot777 · 5 months
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how do they view you? • love/crush pick-a-card
i don’t do love readings usually (because they’re just usually not of interest to me) but i’m trying to soften my heart so here’s a lil something for you guys 😂
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• pile one •
your person views you as someone who can be very verbally defensive or someone who can really hurt people with their words. the things that you say could be very harsh or damaging. i’m also seeing that they may view you as argumentative, whether this energy is directed towards them or other people. they do view you as very unattainable to them - perhaps because of all of this energy - but they also see you as extremely intuitive and psychic. you know things that not just anyone could see or know. they also feel like you’re quick to speak up for yourself when you realise that some bs is going on. and i feel like they recognise that situations that someone is trying to bully you in or play you in some way are the situations when you can get very vicious with your words. you’re quiet and perceptive for the most part until you need to defend yourself. there’s another card about you having very strong boundaries and being defensive - again, whether this is just with them or other people. this plays into the viewpoint of you being unattainable for them. you don’t play about your energy so when someone fucks with your energy you’re quick to put them back in their place and put up boundaries between the two of you. they view you as someone who doesn’t play around. i’m living for your energy, pile one, i’m ngl 😂. dark feminine energy to the fullest 👏🏾
this person might not know how to feel about you. they have multiple feelings about you that they can’t really make sense of. they also view you as someone who has many options in your love life. like you could have anyone that you want. and that’s probably from your high standards and your boundaries. because they know that you know this already. they view you as someone who’s emotions mix with their logic. they believe that if it doesn’t make sense for you to love someone - you won’t. it’s as simple as that. i feel like you guys aren’t the people who can easily be played because you won’t allow yourself to be played again and again by the same person. you have too much awareness of your worth and what you’re deserving of for that bullshit. they feel like you’re quick to cut off people who you’re romantically involved with if they try to play games with you. you’re not one of those people who settle for less than what you know you’re deserving of. you’re extremely loving. but you’re not a fool with your love. you rationally think about where and who you should direct it to. who deserves it and who doesn’t. so whoever’s coming towards you needs to come correct. periodddd 💅🏾
i love this 🤭
find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon
• pile two •
your person views you as extremely self-sufficient. self-sufficient in terms of your finances, physical stability, and/or your self esteem. they don’t view you as someone who relies on another person for anything that you know you can give to yourself. and even if you feel like you can’t give something to yourself in the current moment, you will find a way to get it for yourself. you could definitely be in a relationship with this person already. if so, then they feel like you’ve helped them to build a really successful life with you. you’ve made it easy to create a happy life, a happy home, and/or a happy family. for those of you who haven’t done those things with this person, then they view you as someone who they could have a really good relationship with. because they believe that you’re very good at teamwork. at working with someone to create stability. they may feel like your independence and your hard work to build stability for yourself is fuelled by a lot of pain and trauma. perhaps childhood trauma from when you didn’t have (or were prevented from having) stability and happiness growing up. for someone specific, this person knows about a divorce or a splitting of your family - whether this is your split or your parents’. and they believe that’s why you prioritise your self-stability and creating happy connections and spaces for you to thrive in.
you’re a go-getter, pile two. you have extremely strong masculine energy regardless of your gender. they view you as a creative. a visionary that will always go after your goals in the most efficient way possible. they also view you as a great leader. especially if you’re a boss/managers/in a position of authority at work. or if you’re the one who primarily runs things in your household. they just view you as someone who’s constantly knowing how to direct people to work together to create harmony in the workplace or at home. and if not, then they just view you as someone who has mastered self-governance (another thing that you could’ve been prevented from in the past). they view you as someone who has been through a lot in life. someone who has been hurt and beaten down repetitively. but you’re still standing and putting in the work to maintain yourself in life. you’re not someone who gives up despite all of the bs that’s thrown your way. due to all of your negative experiences and trauma, you’re someone with extremely strong boundaries. someone who’s very protective of self and of the people who you love and care for (such as your family). if any of you are parents, this person views you as a mama/papa bear 😂. they feel sorry for anyone who tests your kids lmaoo. they can tell that you’re someone who fights your hardest to defend your loved ones from the feelings and experiences that you’ve had to endure yourself. there’s a lot of respect for you from this person because of your history - and because you’ve accumulated so much self respect for yourself despite all of this.
find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon
• pile three •
just like pile one, your person views you as someone who knows how to defend yourself in arguments or from verbal attacks. there’s also something about you being stubborn with your beliefs or what you know. once you know something about someone or a situation, nobody can tell you shit. you stick to what you know and what you believe. you’re not easily manipulated. you’re someone who’s also an extremely hard worker. you’re viewed by this person as someone who’s focused on really perfecting your craft. maybe even a perfectionist as a character trait. and now i’m hearing “one track mind”. when you’re focused on something, you’re FOCUSED. they believe that you have a lot of places that you want to go in life, and it seems like you’re always moving forward onto the next thing to work on and perfect. they see you as someone who has the whole world in your hands and you’re not stopping for anyone.
they feel like they don’t know that much about you. like you’re secretive (whether this is purposeful or not). they can’t just guess your personality or what type of person you are with other people like they might be able to with others. they do view you as someone who’s extremely sweet and kind though. and this might surprise them in a way, because it’s not commonly seen from you - at least to them. there’s a masculine energy to you that has flickers of really feminine, sweet, loving energy - and that’s probably why they can’t make much sense of you. you’re extremely focused on work, it seems. or on your own personal development journey. they see you as someone who’s going after creating the life that you want. they can tell that you’re serious about your life. your person views you as someone with A LOT of potential. but not even just in terms of a relationship, but in terms of your life in general. they can tell that you go after opportunities - especially opportunities with work and money.
i had to pull more cards for you guys than i did for the other piles, and i really feel like it’s because this person barely knows anything about you. but they definitely admire the little about you that they do see.
find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon
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lynaferns · 11 months
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FNAF Steampunk AU
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That I never finished because I couldn't figure out what was going to be the story and character dynamics, and the role of each character, and yeah… I also spend many days writing, rewriting and changing thing, I didn't even get to finish the first draft and I got artblock.
I think my problem in the first place was that I wanted to make this AU stick to canon. A mistake, I know lmao. Later I thought of just making up most of the things but having to rewrite what I had already done dismotivated me.
So I thought of at least showing this character height chart I made a year ago. And maybe, idk, some of the wips that I never finished.
Maybe some notes and interactions I wrote under a cut.
If you ever want to ask me about what I had planned for this AU go ahead! Some main things about this story are:
All of the events of the story happens in a week (or so).
Gregory acts a little more scared than what is shown in the game.
DCAs arms can stretch up to 100 ft (30 m). He bends them to write or make shapes in the air.
Sun has some nowlege in animatronic repairs and maintenance due to being abandonent, having to repair himself.
Vanessa/Vanny have a biger role than in the game.
Burntrap also apeared more.
All animatronics are equiped with dart guns (for safety!). There are some places that require to leave the dart guns behind to continu.
Pizza is scuare (this is not important, I just felt like adding it).
Also, first idea and some doodles.
Gregory gets to escape to the locker rooms leaving Chica behind him. While searching for an exit Gregory gets surprised by Sun who was searching for him, and out of fright takes out the camera and flashes his bad eye damaging him for a few seconds.
Sun- "you were carring an object capable of blinding animatronics with you and you didn't use it against Chica to escape?!"
Gregory- "I didn't remember! I was more focused on running than taking a camera out of my pocket!"
Sun-pointing at himself with his hands- "And you had to remember when you saw ME?!"
Monty grabs Moon by the neck and throws him like a stick doing a spinning motion on the air, Roxy chases after him. She comes back carrying Moon with her mouth.
Freddy has an existential crisis by seeing endos. Moon is there awkwardly watching him. He gives him a pat on the back.
The auxiliary arm of the protective cylinder is broken, Gregory has to repair Sun manually. Trying to put his face plate back the nose falls off and Gregory nervously catches it juggling. They look between each others and the nose.
Sun-"..." "Gregory"
Gregory-"..."
Sun-"come on, say it"
Gregory-"..." "Got your nose~"
Vanessa is explaining something to the group. Moon is behind her copying her movements. The others are trying not to laugh. She notices and throws a flashlight at Moon.
They divide in groups. Moon gets on Monty's backs like a gremlin.
Moon-"go gator boy"
Monty-"I hate you"
One last, this is a whole scene that needs a bit of context. The current team members are Gregory, Freddy, Sun/Moon. They have figured out that the safe mode prevents animatronics from acting weird/hostile (found out the hard way in an encounter with moon and a fuse box). Though Moon seems not to attack Gregory anymore they wanted to test it with the rest of the band and found Chica, some things happened, they left her in her room in sleep mode and went to roxy raceway. This begins when they head to the west arcade to repair the service bot's head and on their way they encounter Chica out of the sleep mode but more normal.
(Forgive my poor writing, this was more of a script)
The four of them stare at each other until one decides to react.
Sun–”HELLLLO” Chica– holding her left arm–”A- Hiii, umm” Freddy– “He-hello Chica! What got you here??” Chica– “I-uh…patrol? I- think?? There… There is a child lost in the pizzaplex and we were, like- told to go find him, remember?” “Actually, wait, why are you out of your room? I thought maintenance put you on lock down- And what is the Daycare attendant doing out of the Daycare? it’s not the end of the hour yet- Oh!”–she just saw Gregory behind Freedys legs–”hey! you got the kid-”–flashback of the garbage compactor–”GET HIM”–she points at him with a dart gun– Sun–gets in the way–”WOAH WOAH WOW easy there!” Freddy–”Chica- wait! It’s ok he’s with us” Chica–”T-that-that kid is a menace! He- we should-HAVE to take him to the officer Vanessa–” Gregory–*gasp * Freddy & Sun– “NO!” Chica–”????wha-?
Freddy– “We must not take him to her.” Chica- “You guys kidding?” “These are literal-plain-instructions that you are- just-” “That kid threw me through the garbage compactor!” Gregory–”You tried to kill me!” Chica–”what?! No! I couldn’t do that, that’s against my programming!” Sun–”Uuumm, about that miss-” Chica–”YOU”–points at Sun with the gun– Sun–”?!” Chica–”You were there too!” “You have been with this kid all this time!” Sun–hands up-”Iwastryingtostophim” Freddy–”Chica, calm down, I know what this looks like but-” Sun–”OHMYGOSHWAITGUYS, she’s not hostile!” Chica–”wha-?” Freddy–”what…?” Gregory–”what??” “She’s literally pointing at us with a gun” Sun–standing next to Chica, pointing at her while looking at Freddy and Gregory–”I just noticed! her behavior changed-!” Chica–redirects the gun to re-target him–”you’re getting too close” Sun–ignores that–”She’s back to normal! That means the safe mode worked, we can use this!”
Chica–”What are you talking about?” Freddy–”You’re right! That’s a relief” “right Gregory?” Gregory–”...Yyyyyeah? I guess, yeah” Chica–”seriously, what do you all mean?” Freddy–”Well, It’s a little long story-” Sun–”And we will explain it to you!” “BUT not now, we are in a rush!” “To repair this bot-head so Gregory can ride the racecar” Chica–”...” “‘you serious?” Sun–”yep!” “Say, Gregory! You still want to ride?” Gregory–”uh-yeah” Sun–”Then let’s go!” “TO THE WEST ARCADE!”–grabs Freddy and Gregory and takes them there–”You can come if you want~!” Chica–”...” “OH- GOLLY, WELL” “I guess I’ll just go with you even though I don’t understand what is happening! And no one is going to give me an explanation!” Freddy–”-I promise that I’ll give you a wide explanation once we are done with all this… But in a more private place”
There are actually a couple more of scenes before this one (and after) but I'm not very confident of showing those (or any actually but I don't want this to be buried in my documents and forgoten because I really want to at least make a decent story)
Also, I know that the canon heights for the animatronics are like 6 ft but I prefered my height variety headcanons. Maaaaaybe they are a little too tall looking at it now that I look at it again but, eh.
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floppydiskettess · 1 year
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VALORANT AGENTS REACTING TO THEIR S/O GETTING INJURED ON A MISSION
featuring - sage, killjoy, cypher, yoru, sova, gekko, viper
a/n : cyphers part contains a lot of angst and alcohol talk. i couldnt let it ALL be fluff 😋
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✮~ Sage ~✮
literally the sweetest ever, but this doesn't need to be said
if its a minor injury, she will definitely be giving you a talk about being safer and how to prevent that from happening
"but what if it was something more serious? something even I couldn't heal? you must be more careful angel."
if her s/o was harmed badly, she would do two things.
one, she would immedietely drop everything and rush towards healing you, this woman will stay up all night trying to heal you and make sure that there is not so much as a scratch left on your body. she would definitely overwork herself but making sure you are alright is all that matters.
two, the second you are stable and resting, she is going to find out whichever enemy agent hurt you and fuck. them. up.
im talking full battle sage, she will have no mercy if the injury they caused was threatening enough.
she may excude sweet and kind energy but she is one scary lady when the people she loves are harmed
she knows exactly how damaged a body must be for it to be unfixable.
"I'm so sorry I couldn't be there my dear, but they won't be hurting you again."
she will be watching you carefully, even asking brimstone to take you off of missions for a short time or asking him to keep an eye on you.
she doesn't know what she would do if she lost you..
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☻︎~ Killjoy ~︎︎☹︎
she blames herself, how could she not? she designed most of the stuff...it must be a error in her inventions.
she will work night and day trying to figure out what happened. was it a weapon error? did the gun she designed for you malfunction? oh no was she to blame for anyone elses injuries?!
it would take a lot of reassurance for her to calm down. after all, this wouldn't have happened if she had been more careful...right?
"Mein gott...you scared me. I thought I lost you schatzi..."
she is going to be by your side after sage discharges you from her infirmary. expect lots of physical affection (if your comfortable with it.) and care.
she will treat you as if you were glass about to break. you will not be doing any chores while you recover.
oh you need to work on a mission report? its already finished and submitted. you are hungry? she would cook a lovely meal her parents would make her when she was sick. (with the help of some other agents...shes probaly not a great cook lets be honest..)
"KJ...Sage gave me the all clear! I can do it!"
" Nein nein! You are going to rest mein Häschen! I don't want you straining yourself!"
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♖~ Cypher ~♖
if you get injured, be it minor or major. this man will WORRY.
he already lost everything, he cannot lose you either. if he did...he would have nothing.
when sage showed up at his door covered in blood and bruises. he knew something went wrong.
you told him you were going on a small mission. just an in and out radianite extraction at an abandoned lab. he had no reason to worry...right?
when he heard what had happened, he was devastated. what was supposed to be a quick mission turned out to be a setup. what makes it worse? you were alone at your site.
he will be thinking the worst. what if you...? if he had only done a more detailed check on the lab...maybe he could have protected you. but he didn't. he feels like he failed.
you spend weeks in the recovery bay, lying unconcious.
he spends those weeks without you in his lab drinking the memories away and trying to figure out what happened.
he just cannot function with the thought of losing you at the back of his mind at all times.
he knows he was caught when viper appears at his doorway with a concerned glare and a solemn looking sage in tow. he can't remember most of it, but viper was worried? about him?
soon he was also transported to sages infirmary. getting put on nutrients and oxygen. it was obvious he was not taking care of himself without your presence
when you wake up, he would be right there cradling your cheek with his hand. his mask nowhere in sight. all that matters was that you were safe now
"يا حياتي..i was so scared i lost you"
he will never forget his past, but he looks forward to his future with you.
can you tell i like cypher guys :)
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☁︎~ Yoru ~☁︎
do not even get me started on this man
he would be extremely angry.
but is it at you, the others, or maybe himself?"
upon hearing the news, he would immediately check on you. seeing your unconcious body just makes something in him snap. the thought that someone had done this to you...he plants a soft kiss to your temple, before storming out of the infirmary.
for the next few days, he would lash out at everyone around him. sage came around to bring him some food as he had not left his room and he just...lost it.
he wasn't even sure who he was yelling at, who he was blaming for what happened. poor sage looked petrified and the others seemed to gather the idea yoru didn't want to be talked too right now.
with no word from anybody about your condition, he lay down on his bed and cried numbly. every night he would teleport into where sage had kept you to heal. he would sit in silence staring at your asleep face before always kissing your forehead goodbye. in hopes that somehow, you would wake up.
he went to your room and grabbed some sweaters of yours, every night he slept with them for comfort, clinging onto them as if they were going to leave him too.
when you wake up, he won't care about keeping his mysterious "badass" persona up. he will be at your side holding your hand and crying.
"please be more careful 私の日光...i don't know what i would do if i lost you."
when sage discharges you, he will be glued to you. he will simple little things for you (such as opening doors for you.)
his love language is definitely acts of service
if you teased him about this though, he will never admit to it.
he will be doing simple things such as cooking meals, cleaning up, and helping you finish any work you have
he is so domestic
he may not be super outwardly affectionate, but with each small favour he does for you he is putting all of his love into it.
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𖦹~ Sova ~𖦹
sova is literally the most caring boyfriend...like ever..
if its a minor injury, he will treat it (if sage and skye are off on a mission).
he will definitely lightly scold you, not to be mean! just because he hates seeing you hurt and in pain.
"ангел. please be more careful next time..you know i hate seeing you upset."
if it was a major injury though, he is relatively the same.
he isn't scared to cry infront of the others, when he gets the news that your mission went south he was crying into sages shoulder.
he would stay with you the entire recovery. sage had to keep kicking him out at nighttime but eventually she realized she couldn't stop him. she simply would bring meals for him whenever he would forget to eat.
he would sit and tell you about his day, how the missions were going, even the silly schenanigans that the younger agents were pulling
"yoru tried to get revenge on phoenix for his prank but it went so bad ангел. he entered his rift and jumped out to scare him, but reyna happened to have just been passing by! she was absolutely livid родная. i have never seen our dear riftwalker so terrified!" he chuckled
when you woke up, he was still there lightly snoring against the chair sage had brought him.
when he woke up, he was thrilled, his eyes immediately lighting up like a childs
"have you been sitting here the whole time?"
"of course my dear. as if i would leave you."
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߷~ Gekko ~߷
as the newest agent, he hasn't known you for very long. your relationship was coming up to a few months old but he hadn't told you how much he loved you yet.
so naturally, when he heard you were injured he was terrified
he knew this job was dangerous! he just never thought it would be you getting injured...he also never really thought of anyone getting badly injured
he was training with harbour when he overheard a mission going wrong...a mission you were on.
he would rush to the infirmary overloading sage with questions about you
"Sage!! Finally...que pasó?? Neon told me something happened on the mission?!"
Appariently, you had gotten caught in a fight with the enemy Breach and he hit you with his aftershock.
He didn't know much about Breach, but he knew that man had quite a bit of strength in his abilities (being like...bionic you know?"
After some skillful and strategic convincing (pathetic and annoying begging) Sage agreed to take him to see you.
When he caught sight of you lying in the bed staring up at the ceiling, he let out a big sigh he didn't even know he was holding.
"Mi sol! Oh mierda I was so worried! What happened?"
He would be sitting patiently listening to you explain what happened. All while staring at you softly.
"Shooottt...sounds like you had a busy mission! I am just happy you made it back cariño."
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☠︎︎~ Viper ~ ☠︎︎
if you were minorly injured, it was probably from tinkering with her poison vials and one leaked onto your fingers
after hearing your grunt in pain, she turns around and her eyes widen, rushing towards you.
"Idiot, I said not to touch anything!"
she swears under her breath before wiping it away and rubbing some sort of cream onto your hand
"Honestly..who would touch something containing poison WITHOUT protection?"
her biggest fear? her poison causing you harm.
so what if a mission were to go wrong and you happened to step into a bubble of her poison?
it was a genuine wrong place wrong time situation. she had a poison bubble deployed and sitting on the ground, as she activated it she looked up to see your frame walking overtop of it.
she shouts to get you to move, but you don't hear her in time. next thing she knows, you are on the ground out cold with green and purple lines all over your face.
she quickly would call for backup, holding you tight but trying to avoid the chemical burns.
when she is back to safety, she rushes to sage's infirmary with your barely warm body in her arms
unfortunately, the poison had seeped into some open wounds you had. causing it to spread throught your body. viper leaves sage alone to do her job, pacing back and forth outside.
she knew how strong her poison could be, but she also knew how strong your body was. you would survive. you had too.
after a few hours, a tired sage walks out and nods, signaling it went well.
viper rushed into the room and immediately looked at your sleeping face, wincing at the fading bloodshot lines on your face.
"i'm so sorry love..please wake up soon"
she would wait by your side holding your hand and occasionally planting soft kisses to the back of your hand.
she knew you would be ok, but she couldn't help but feel bad that her miscommunication and carelessness caused this to happen to you.
when you wake up, she would be whispering soft apologies into your ear
"i promise...you will never feel this pain again my dear."
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a/n : holy shit guys!!!! this took a while!! i spent a good 4 hours writing all this JDJSBSJSKSKSN its probably cringe im sorry
but yeah! i tried my best to write this with a gender neutral reader in mind but in some of these its definitely a bit more fem reader leaning! also i do not speak any of the languages spoken in this so if i made a mistake or used something wrong PLEASE let me know so I can fix it!!!
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illustromic · 1 year
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My thoughts on drawing wings (an unofficial tutorial)
Do you want to get better at drawing your favorite winged character? Do you have winged OCs? Just want to learn something new? I can't promise this post will help, but maybe it'll give you some helpful tips.
I know, I knowww, wing tutorials have been done to death. I don't care. This was initially inspired by a conversation on twitter, but actually I've wanted to write down my notes on the topic for a long time lol. Basically wings are one of my special interests so it's very important, for me, to draw them both nicely and also realistically.
On that note, let me first show you my resume *distant sound of floodgates opening*
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Like what you see? Read on! (Oh, and I will only be covering feathered/avian wings bc those are the type I know best.)
Now, I'm not here to give you a step-by-step guide on wing anatomy and aerodynamics, because there are plenty of other resources that cover this already, and I'll list my faves at the end of the post. Right now, I'm going to give you some easy guidelines and tricks that I wish more artists knew.
1: Wings do, in fact, have bones (crazy, I know) and are actually very rigid because they have to support the weight of a living creature. There are some positions you cannot physically force a wing into irl.
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2: Flight feathers are not placed willy-nilly on the wing, because then they wouldn't catch the air properly. Again, like the bones, they are rigid and strong, so don't draw them like fur or ribbons. All wings have the same pattern of feather placement, with slight variation depending on species. If you learn the feather sections, it will automatically improve your drawings a lot.
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2.5: Feathers overlap each other like a handful of playing cards, and this looks different depending on which side of the wing you're drawing. They always do this unless they're extremely untidy.
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3: The size of the wingspan is important if you're going for a more realistic design. There is no "scientifically accurate" measurement when it comes to fictional creatures, but my general rule is when in doubt, you probably need to make them bigger. Personally, for my original winged human species, I give them wings that can be up to 12 feet long each (the artistic sacrifice is that it's really hard to fit the wings on the dang page lmao, so make your own call).
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4: Get used to drawing folded wings. Most of the time, birds keep their wings folded because it prevents them from getting damaged and it conserves energy. The trick is to get good at visualizing how the joints bend and overlap (look at plenty of photos!) In general, they can fold much tighter than you think.
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5: Wings and feathers take a lot of patience to draw, but the results are worth it. I've seen so so many incredibly beautiful and skillful artworks that are---well, maybe not ruined, but still negatively affected by a pair of wings that look like an afterthought, or not even like wings at all. You have no idea how much a little extra time and practice will add to your work until you see for yourself.
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Finally, some notes on "stylized" wings: Of course it's perfectly ok to draw more simplified/cartoony wings if that's your preference!! BUT there is a difference between a stylistic choice and a lack of effort/poor understanding of the subject matter. Even cartoonists have to learn the fundamentals of realism so they know how to make their designs logical and appealing. Here are some examples of more stylized wings that I feel retain the core principles of anatomy/aesthetics:
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And last but not least: A list of helpful links I use personally for reference and inspiration!
I made this pinterest board for general artsy inspo, and this board to curate my very favorite tutorials/refs/information, focusing on the scientific aspect of wings and flight in general. Feel free to use both! (I also suggest pinterest in general for pose refs and such, but try to only practice using photos at first and not other drawings.)
I highly recommend this blog and this blog if you want examples of artists who draw more realism-based winged creatures!! They are both huge inspirations for me and I think you should totally follow them even if you don't plan to draw wings lol <3
If you're REALLY serious about it, my favorite ref books are: Winged Fantasy, a lovely drawing book by Brenda Lyons; Proctor & Lynch's Manual of Ornithology; and Angelus vincens by R. Spano, which is essentially an artbook by someone who (I believe) designed biologically plausible "angels" for their senior thesis.
Ok, idk how to end this lol but I hope it helped! I know it's not my normal kind of post but I'm super busy with college stuff rn and this was all I had time for. If you guys have any questions or feedback, please let me know!!!
-Aloe <3
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webslinger-holland · 1 year
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Another Dream | Kaz Brekker
Summary: In which Kaz reveals what his true dream is.
Warning: slight angst...its short...and major fluff near the end
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader
Type: Oneshot
Word Count: 1.9k
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The chapel hadn’t sustained much damage from the battle. A few wooden pews ended up getting pushed and overturned. A few shards of glass scattered across the floor from broken windows. Yet, the stainless window remained absolutely untouched. The image of the Saint Sun Summoner cast colorful rays of light onto the stone floor.
At the given moment, Y/n was sitting on the edge of one of the pews. Her eyes remained on the saint in front of her. She had never been the religious type; she often left Inej be the expert in that area. But she found comfort in sitting in the small chapel.
It couldn’t have been more than an hour ago when they almost lost their lives to the shadow monster they encountered in that very room. The crows had done risky jobs in the past, but none of them involved looking death right in the eye like they just did. She was still shaken up from the whole ordeal.
The familiar sound of a cane clicking against the stone floor could be heard behind her. The leader of the crows was making his way down the center aisle of the church, coming to a halt slightly behind the pew she sat in. She did not turn her head to address him.
“Lantsov paid up,” Kaz had come to tell her. “Everyone will get their cut.”
“Good,” Y/n nodded once. She looked over her shoulder, resting a hand on the back of the pew. “And Nina?” 
“She’ll receive a pardon for deserting and another for her Fjerdan. As long as he stays out of trouble, the charges will be dropped.” Kaz explained.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Y/n let out a sigh. She went to turn back around in her place. Her eyes naturally gravitating to the stain glass window once again.
Unbeknownst to her, Kaz began staring at her through the corner of his eyes. He felt his heart tighten in the confines of his chest upon just looking at her. He spent so many years admiring her from a distance, never being able to find the courage to act on the feelings in his heart.
He had known for a very long time that she did not want to stay in Ketterdam. There were too many painful memories to give her reason to stick around. She always loved to travel anyway. She wanted to move west as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Now that the fold had been destroyed and the job was complete, there was nothing preventing her from moving far away.
Just by looking at her, Kaz could tell that her mind was in a different place at the given moment. She was probably already planning about the adventure she’d be on, the journey across the sea, and the exploration of a new land. She’d be thinking about how great it would be to leave Ketterdam behind, along with him. 
Under the notion that the two of them would have very little time left together, Kaz tried being slightly sentimental for once in his life. He racked his brain for something that meant worthwhile and heartfelt.
“I also...” Kaz’s voice trailed off. “Wanted to say goodbye.”
“Oh,” Y/n said sadly. 
“Since I assume you’ll be leaving as soon as you find a ship,” Kaz predicted. She nodded her head at this. “As you should. It’s what you’ve always dreamed about,” Kaz said in an almost harsh tone. It sounded mocking.
“Well, what do you want me to say?” Y/n responded in retort. She spun around in the small wooden pew, staring at him with a strong him of confusion in her eyes. “What would you have me do? Stay in Ketterdam?” Y/n persisted.
In response, Kaz went to turn his head away from her to avoid eye contact at all costs. He wanted nothing more than to slip behind the facade he held, void of all emotions if he could help it. His face was blank as if she hadn’t just expressed the one thing he desired the most. Having her stay in Ketterdam.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had a dream,” Y/n scoffed at his stone cold expression. She faced forward once more. What followed was a moment of pure silence.
With a haunting past, Kaz Brekker was cursed with torturous nightmares most nights. However, on the rare nights that he had dreams, he always dreamed of her and absolutely nothing else. His imagination would run wild of the endless possibilities they could share together.
In his dreams, Kaz would find himself stroking up and down her bare back with his own hand. There’d be no gloves. No urge to pull away at contact. No memory of his past. It was just the two of them together. 
They would spend hours together in bed. He’d brush her hair away from her neck to grant him access. He’d burrow his face into the crook of her neck, placing the most delicate kisses along her kiss. He loved hearing the sound of her sighs in his dreams. 
He could see it all now. Her body lay underneath his. Her delicate hand trailing up the length of his chest, stopping to linger at his heart. He take her hand in his own and give it a gentle squeeze before leaning down to capture her lips.
His dreams wanted them to be together. He wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her until she forgot her own name. Being brought back to reality became his nightmare. He came to realize that he’d never be able to have that and his dreams would never come true. His armor was still in place and she’d be leaving soon anyways.
After the moment of silence, Y/n had tilted her head to the side as if she was trying to look at him through her peripheral vision. She grew curious. Her mouth parted to ask a question.
“What is your dream, Kaz Brekker?” Y/n wondered.
Slowly, Y/n turned around in her place. She looked at him expectedly, patiently awaiting for his answer. She quirked her eyebrows to show her curiosity. He studied her face for a moment. He thought about his choice of words, struggling to express his true emotions. 
The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie’s voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. You, Y/n. You.
For a second, Kaz opened his mouth, but no words came out of his mouth. He was so close to confessing his true feelings to her. However, the fear quickly overtook him. He resorted to fortifying himself behind his walls again. He quickly tore his gaze away from her.
“To die, buried under the weight of my own gold.” Kaz claimed. 
She faced forward. She felt herself rolling her eyes at his answer, even scoffing under her breath. She couldn’t believe him. 
“More money. More scores to settle,” Y/n deduced. She quickly rose to her feet, which only took him by surprise. She went to approach him. “Was there never another dream?” Y/n tried one final time.
The silence to follow was enough reason to leave. She went to brush past him with the intent of walking away and never looking back. But as she began to walk away from him, Kaz reached out to grab onto her wrist. He stopped her.
“Stay,” Kaz pleaded. His voice was rough stone. “Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.”
Slowly, Y/n shifted her body to face him She briefly glanced down at the gloved hand which held her wrist captive. Her gaze shifted back to the look of desperation in his eyes, silently pleading for her to stay for his own sake. She could feel the tears begin to gather in the corners of her eyes.
“What would be the point?” Y/n whispered. She shook her head at the notion.
He only drew closer to her. He refused to look away from her now, knowing that if he did, he might lose her forever. He took a breath. 
“I want you to,” Kaz confessed truthfully. He saw the look in her eyes change slightly. She was taken back by this. He needed to make himself clearer. “I want...I want...you,” Kaz confirmed.
The two of them didn’t seem to realize how close they had gotten to one another. Their chests were pressed together and they were able to feel another’s breath fanning their faces. Either of them had been so close to anyone before. 
With great hesitation, Y/n had lifted her head to stare directly into those brilliant green eyes. She felt the tears streaming down the slides of her cheeks. She shook her head at his words.
“And how will you have me?” Y/n wondered in a soft whisper. “Gloves on? Fully clothed? With your head turned so our lips never--” but she was never able to finish that sentence.
Because the rest of her words were lost against his mouth. He had grabbed her face with his two gloved hands and pulled her into a captivating kiss. He kept his eyes squeezed shut so tightly as if he was trying to silence the voices in his head. He felt sparks of lightning tingling against his lips, knowing his mind was screaming for him to pull away. But he didn’t want to.
Yet, he kissed her so gently and carefully in fear of losing her forever. He felt her body begin to relax in his grasp. She gripped the lapels of his black trench coat, pulling him harder against her if that was even possible. His arms had shifted to circle around her waist, gathering her body against him.
A hint of pressure only caused a most delicate hum to escape past her lips, muffled against his mouth. If he could bottle the sound and get drunk on it every night, he would have without question. Their lips moved together in a synchronized harmony as if they were two puzzle pieces made to fit together.
The kiss had brought a newfound sense of warmth and comfort to his old stone heart. The memories of his brother, which were often brought from contact, hadn’t plagued his mind. He focused on the feeling the softness of her lips, how she tasted, and how she felt agains him. 
She couldn't believe what was happening. Even she had dreamed about what it would be like to touch him, but never so far as kiss him. He tasted like the expensive liquor from his flask, which he always kept in his coat pocket. His lips moved compellingly against hers as if they were fighting to persuade her to stay. And it was working.
With great reluctance, their lips parted ever so slightly from one another. Their breath held without thinking. The suspense in the air was caught at the top of their throats. 
The two of them had leaned forward to rest their heads against one another’s. They panted softly to regain their breath. They remained so close to one another that their noses brushed against each others. They stare down at each other’s lips, tempted to continue.
“You...” Kaz panted. He brought a hand up to cup her cheek lovingly, staring into the depths of her eyes. “You are my dream. You always have been.”
Upon hearing those words, Y/n felt any tension leave her body and she finally relaxed. She felt a small smile growing at the corners of her lips. She closed her eyes to savor those precious little words.
“Stay with me,” Kaz pleaded one last time. He nudged his nose against hers as if trying to persuade her and it was working. “Stay for me, my dear.” Kaz whispered.
She had never heard him speak so desperately. Though he was a master at crafting a lie, she knew him well enough to know that he’d never lie about his feelings. He wanted her and he was asking her to stay with him. 
Her eyes glanced between his own and his mouth. “I’ll stay...for you,” Y/n agreed.
Upon hearing this, Kaz felt like his dreams had finally come true. He inclined his face towards hers so that he could lay his lips against her own once again. He pulled her body as close to his as humanly possible, now knowing that he’d never have to let go. She was finally his.
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