#just so many cooks

[thatbadadvice]

Help! My Girlfriend Didn't Appreciate The Awesome Present I Gave her

Dear Prudence, Slate, 9 January 2023:

Dear Prudence, 

My girlfriend thinks I’m trying to undermine her. How do I prove to her I’m not? My girlfriend “Katie” (33F) and I (30M) have been dating for three months, and so far it had been going very well. I even thought we could become very serious. However, something has changed, and I’m worried that she’s getting cold feet.

This all started a few days ago, when my parents dropped by my place to chat. Katie was in the kitchen, making the two of us dinner. My parents and Katie have met a couple of times before, and they seem to get along. Additionally, Katie’s normally very calm and easygoing. However, when my mom walked into the kitchen to help out, Katie seemed to become irritated. She said that she “prefers to cook alone,” and when my mom grabbed a knife and some carrots and started to chop them up for her, Katie asked her not to cut them because they have to be cut “a certain way.” Katie told my mom that she didn’t want help and demanded that she go back into the living room area.

I’d never seen Katie this upset, and I wasn’t happy with how she treated my mom. When my mom left the kitchen, I hugged her and said, “Sorry about that.” I asked Katie what was going on and she said nothing, but at the time, I was alarmed and suspicious. Later that evening, I had to get some groceries, and while I was at the supermarket, I decided to pick up some Midol as a nice gesture. I didn’t know if Katie was on her period, but knowing that she isn’t normally this irritable, it seemed possible to me and if she was, she might appreciate the gift. When I got back, Katie was watching the World Cup, and I silently placed the Midol on top of her bag. Katie gave me a weird look and asked why I had bought her Midol, and I said it was because of how she had acted with my mother earlier.

Katie did not like this explanation. She said she was annoyed because she didn’t want someone interfering with her cooking, not because she was on her period. She said it made her think that I don’t take her feelings seriously and am trying to “undermine the legitimacy of her emotions.” I explained that this wasn’t true, but I don’t know if she believed me. I think the damage might have been done. How can I salvage the relationship and win back Katie’s trust? — Midol Mishap

Dear Midol Mishap,

Does Katie usually have a problem with self-soothing, or does it mostly happen during meals where people enter her space uninvited and intentionally disregard her stated preferences when she tends to act out like this? Does bedtime/bathtime usually go okay? Can you drop her off at the office without tears and a tantrum? Figuring out the answer to this question will reveal the extent to which this relationship can be salvaged, but I think you're in for an uphill battle if silently leaving a box of bitch pills on a woman's purse doesn't have her running back into your arms with relief and appreciation for the thoughtful care you showed her while she was being a real cunt.

Usually women appreciate being told that their emotions are wrong, and welcome thoughtful explanations from men about how the things they have felt and experienced are incorrect due to being incongruent with a man's feelings and experiences. But some women, and it sounds like Katie might be one of them, lack the self-awareness necessary to recognize that the things they believe they think they interpret as being insulting, disrespectful, and patronizing are not that way because some dude somewhere said so.

It might be worth opening up a dialogue with your mother about how to handle Katie; I don't mean to suggest that all women are the same (that would be sexist, yikes!) but you have both experienced what it is like to be under the thumb of someone as cruel and controlling as Katie, and you may be able to offer each other some comfort while you figure out how to get the woman you've been fucking for three months back on the right path, in terms of her behavior and emotional regulation. Meds are a great start — Midol is an absolute miracle drug for shutting down an ungrateful cow — but you can't just crush it up over Katie's ice cream every night.

The right solution is going to necessarily involve some effort on Katie's part to tell you only what you want to hear and agree with everything you say, and she might just not be mature enough to do that kind of hard internal work right now. A lot of people wouldn't — they'd say they have a right to assert boundaries, be taken seriously as full human beings, and not have their legitimate concerns belittled as mere hormonal hysterics of an unstable female — but it's possible Katie is capable of real change. The next time she has one of her little episodes, try using a little babydoll to coax Katie into seeing what a silly little monkey she's being when she rejects the precious opportunity to bond with your sweet mama by letting her do whatever she wants no matter what. Katie could speak directly to the doll about how she believes she thinks feels until she's ready to express the emotions you want her to have.

If you try this, you might want to wait until after dinner, when the knives are put away, just in case. Best of luck, dear boy!

#midol #PMS #advice #bad advice #dear prudence #sexism #misogyny #parents #parenting #cooking #too many cooks in the kitchen #too many cooks #just so many cooks

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[chloesimaginationthings]

your Jeremy seems like the kinda guy that, when he first sees scoop'd Michael, just goes "yooo sick dude!"

YOU GET IT… I’M GLAD y’all get and like Jeremy,,

#ask reply #literally exactly the vibes I’m trying to give him #I’m so happy yall like him seriously #the whole idea of Jeremy being chipper and Michael being gloomy #is such a good dynamic #I WANT TO DRAWW Jeremy sm more after this! #there’s so much to draw.. I just cook #for him.. for Jeremy the beloved 💗 #BTW IM GLAD YALL find him pretty too!! #I was actually surprised by how many comments I got #over how much they wanted to kiss Jeremy BAHA #THE BEST COMPLIMENTS I know I did a good job #more Jeremy soon promise 🩵🩵

[payasita]

fashion

#cult of the lamb #cotl #doodles #im normal #outfits in order: genteel bartender jester cook and enforcer #im only half sure the cook one is canon #literally just gave heket the same chef frock i wear the same way i wear it lmao #the bishops are genuinely so fun to draw together! so many different critter shapes

[luna-lovegreat]

I want. Four to get appreciation. Because

Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured

The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal

But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff

From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them

So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)

He took care of Epona

Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her

And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance

He took care of Twilight's stuff

He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place

And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.

Also- because of his placement in this scene

I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything

And he did housekeeping!

Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn

Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in

Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn

Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn

Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious

There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future

But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way

Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things

No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?

.

Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))

#epona is so important #Lu four #linkeduniverse #linked universe #I work with horses and #Epona is INCREDIBLE- she's extremely attuned to humans and emotions. she doesn't scare easily and can keep her cool in a fight #but it's still super stressful to suddenly be in a fairly large and populated town- separated from her person #and for such an empathetic horse? Four going and TALKING to her- gently petting her nose and just being near her #means so so much! that literally matters so much to a horses mental state in a foreign situation- just having company #he checked on Epona and gave her company like !!!!!! it's so considerate and means so much for Epona! Four I love you !!!!! #uhhhh yeah! #with the food- I don't think the innkeeper would have free/complimentary food out- but wars wallet def had it covered #then wild showed up with potions in a cooking frenzy- but four was still shown with food behind him- he thought of everything #I don't know what's gonna happen with the shadow crystal and stuff. but no matter what happens in the future- this matters. #he did a ton of small things no one else thought of it matters he cares so much didjdkdksjfjj #I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/ #so many ideas and so little time... I love you guys and this fandom so much :)) #(if I said anything off or offensive let me know... I'm always nervous about that but I want to hear from you if I'm wrong) #(also you are so so cool and valuable don't forget that ok? I love you and you are important) #:)

[logicalbookthief]

Wait. So it’s Rei who owns the apartment. Kazuki is crashing there indefinitely, and he does all the shopping, cooking, and cleaning?

He is never beating the malewife allegations.

#buddy daddies #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #will someone in this house appreciate his cooking?? he is doing ALL the work and for WHAT #I have so many questions #rei owns the apartment and calls kazuki a couch crasher #but kazuki seems to sleep in a bedroom while we see rei sleeping in the bathtub?? hello?? #does he have a room that he just fails to sleep in? does he normally take the couch which is now occupied by miri? #you telling me it’s HIS apartment but he lets his couch-crashing ‘bestie’ take the bed? yeah he’s down bad

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I love about Leo is that, canonically, he IS capable of cooking, he’s just completely incapable of using a toaster. He’s banned from the kitchen not out of an inability to make edible food, but because being within six feet of a toaster causes the poor appliance to spontaneously combust.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #all Leos mortal enemy: toasters #side note but thinking about this aspect of Leo’s character really has me wanting to make a deeper dive into Leo as a Jack of All Trades #because he has aspects of this all throughout the series #where he can do many things he’s just not the best at it #like he can cook but he’s no Mikey #he can - canonically - rewire an *AI PROGRAM* but it goes very wrong #he can lift both Mikey and Raph simultaneously but he struggles to do so where his other brothers don’t even break a sweat #bro is a Jack of All Trades Master of None frfr #and Leo is even more interesting with this in mind because he uses what he CAN do so well #it’s like how he can see his family’s strengths and weaknesses and knows exactly how they work #his skill set is made way better simply by his personal USE of those skills not by the skills themselves #portals and teleportation are only op if you know how to weaponize them #given time he ABSOLUTELY could #okay I shut up now this was supposed to be about toasters #but yeah all the boys have a bunch of skills under their belts outside the typical ones #but Leo stands out to me for having skills his other brothers have but to a much lesser degree in a lot of cases #and he works with what he has so well that that is a skill in itself

[littler0b1n]

Some submas doodles to show that I’m still in fact alive and that these silly train men are still invading every train of thought

#pun intended #I have more #like wayyy more #but I either think they’re not good enough or are too embarrassing to show #anyways I do have more ideas I’m cooking #like some designs on when they were younger #art #my doodles :d #doodle #submas #submas emmet #submas ingo #subway boss ingo #warden ingo #subway master emmet #subway boss emmet #subway master ingo #pokemon #pokémon #pkmn bw #pkmn b2w2 #pkmn la #pkmn legends arceus #I have so many Ideas for these guys #I just can’t draw them all :(

[bodhrancomedy]

*Trying to look for quick and easy recipes on BBC Good Food especially soups*

*Every single recipe including unclear instructions, secret prep, incredibly long prep or completely alien language of cookery*

Me, a severely ADHD autistic with major cookery sensory issues, dyscalculia, and rapidly worsening intrusive thoughts about poisoning myself or others accidentally:

#I just wanna eat #I gotta start making soups because then I can eat so many vegetables #I can’t live on potatoes and boiled broccoli #especially because there’s no freezer space #cooking is my hell #actually adhd #actually autistic #deaf #queer #tw food

[canisalbus]

That barracuda Machete art makes me imagine a world in which he just loses it and murders the entire papacy. Boy turned his guilt into wrath

.

#oh now we're cooking #the ultra cursed ending where Vasco gets murdered and Machete has nothing to lose #and he knows it's over so he just tries to take as many of his enemies with him as possible #would he manage to do enough damage to destabilize the curia? no probably not but could you imagine #answered #anonymous #Vaschete scenarios

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Machine, you are telling me a shrimp fried this rice?

Audio Source

#gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill #it's shrimply not possible #how would you fry something underwater #headcanon that he cant cook for shit #a shrimp would do better #feeding him rice 1 grain at a time through his stupid helmet holes (yes i know they arent actually holes) #i just like to pretend they are holes. so i can put a straw in there #and also for blood to leak out of #can never have too many holes

[glitterghost]

Being ace can be pretty isolating at various times, for varying reasons that I don't feel like I have to explain because if you are ace, you probably get it.

#asexual #ace #pride #vague post but you know..*gestures to nothing* #i dont think i even need to expand on this #aromantic #could be thrown into this as well #things are just sometimes frustrating when people dont get it #if you read tags cook bc here we go a bit #there is always this talk of being left behind or being forgotten about or whatever #and yeah its true and when things happening almost in succession that makes it even more aware and apparent that yeah you kinda do get left #behind a bit* #so many ppl want marriage and or kids and its like #what about the people that want to hold on to things as they currently are? #to friends and books and cats and fictional feelings #and the way some ppl you know talk about how people gradual drift apart? #like thats a full on decision #thats not always a mutual thing #people leave at times and another person that might not be ready to end that connection with a person has to navigate their way through it #on their own #but like society is so weird to people that dont want the predictable life path #as you get older questions become are you married #do you have kids like its expected #where are the questions like whats the latest book youve read #whats your current favorite fandom #what makes you happy or brings you joy or whats a good thing about today? #not sure where im cycling down into with this bc theres too much to touch on #but not everyone wants sex or kids or marriage or crippling responsibilities of adulthood #sometimes we just want a hobbit hole to disappear into #a friend to text or pizza to eat or something funny to laugh at

[sluckythewizard]

YOU JUST HƎARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURƎ!!!

#cw gore #cw blood #jrwi fanart #jrwi suckening spoilers #jrwi suckening #BEEN VEHEMENTLY SCRIBBLING THIS THING ALL DAY #IM SO FUCKING IN LVOE W THE NEW EPISODE #VIV N VEX ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULDVE EVER WANTED. I LOVE BLOOD AND MEAT AND BLOOD AND MEAT #THE SCRIBBLE IS KINDA ROUGH SO DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD BUT EHEHEHEEEE THE FACE THAT I CREATED UNNERVES ME #AND IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I LOVE CREATING SOMETHING AND HAVING IT EVEN SLIGHTLY PHASE ME #I LOVED ALL THE TOOTH RIPPING NOISES IN THIS EPISODE. AHVE U EVER HAD A TOOTH REMOVED? #SHE USED A BLUNT METAL TOOL TO PUNCH IT OUT. IT REMINDED ME OF THE SPLINTERING OF A TREE. THE WAY IT TORE. #SUCH A SPECIFIC SORT OF CRUNCHING AND SPLINTERING AS A MOLAR WAS RRRRIPPPEEDD FROM THE SOCKET. OHH I LOVE IT. #GOING IN FOR A ROOT CANAL NEXT WEEK AND IM VERY EXCITED. ALL THE DENTISTS LOVE ME N ARE SO NICE TO ME #WHAT A GREAT EPISODE. I HOPE THE URGE TO DRAW MORE STRIKES ME LIKE THIS AGAIN. WEEEE!! #I WANNA ANIMATE EMIZEL GETTIN HIS EYE RRIPPED OUT. BUT. IM ALREADY COOKING 3 OTHER VIV N VEX ANIMATIONS #THERES NO WAY THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED HELP!! HELP MEE!!!! I HAVE TO MANY IDEAS AND NOT ENOUGH HANDS. DO U GUYS REMEMBER HTF? #OR HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. THE CUTE ANIMAL SHOW W ALL THE BLOOD AND GORE AND TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO THE CUTE ANIMALS #in elementary school i would show the 'eyes cold lemonade' to other kids and tell em thats how they make pink lemonade. #hope that helps you undertsand. i wish i could make a lil cartoon w just viv n vex doing what they do best #LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. IM GOING BACK TO MY LAB. DONT EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME IN A MILLION YEARS

[bitchthefuck1]

Tom's line about Shiv being selfish and "find[ing] it very hard to think about me" is actually so telling because while it's absolutely true that she rarely takes his position into consideration, Tom never once thinks about what he can do to help Shiv unless it also benefits him.

Every single time he makes a move or sacrifice that might help her, it's always something that he thinks will give him a leg up. He volunteers to take the fall for cruises, not for Shiv, who is in no way implicated, or even for Waystar, but because he thinks it'll ingratiate him to Logan, and the second it seems like he might have to actually follow through on that, he immediately tries to get out of it and even throws Shiv under the bus. Meanwhile, for all that Shiv disregards his interests, there are a number of things she does that only help him, and she's the one who actually sacrifices something and undermines her position with Logan to beg him not to let Tom go to jail.

It just makes it so clear that no matter how much he might love her (and I think he does, in his own compromised way), for him their relationship was always built on the underlying assumption that it's her job to prop him up, but it's not his job to help her.

#i rewatched that ep a few days ago and this was just cooking in my brain for a bit #their relationship is so messy and interesting i want to watch them get a divorce on a loop forever #and like. the wildest thing is that Tom does occasionally do things that don't serve him to help someone else. but its always greg #which you might say is ultimately down to the power dynamics (shiv can do more for tom than he can for her and tom can do more for greg) #but there are still plenty of points where tom actually does have the power to help shiv and chooses not to #and I love how succession never really has a clear 'what this character is telling you is 100% the truth of the story' moments #anytime a character is making a statement like 'this is who you are/who i am' or 'this is what i really want/what you really want' there's #always some kernel of truth to it but the narrative they're spinning is almost never fully honest #you can't take any of it at face value and it's such a good way of showing how they're always on some level 'playing the game' #and like. at a time when so many stories are basically spoon-feeding their audiences it's so nice to have a story that trusts you to #sort through it all and see what's real and what's not and rewards you for putting that work in #succession #4x07 tailgate #succession season 4 #failmarriage #shiv roy #tomshiv #tom wambsgans #siobhan roy

[beanghostprincess]

Finding hilariously ironic how most of Sanji's perv jokes end up being extremely trans-coded to some extent only because the joke is longer than it should be.

The "guy with a woman's body" joke has been a thing for ages now, but it usually ends after the "haha I have booobs" joke. Sanji extends it to "I want to stay in this body forever. It feels right. I don't want to give it back". Which could still be read as some perverted stuff, but I don't think any man would agree with that. No matter how much of a pervert he is. Because usually being perceived as a woman is something they refuse to go through although they like being in possession sexually of a woman's body (a type of excitement Sanji actually shows, not by being that much aroused by it but being comfortable with it? Which is... A different approach to the joke).

Sanji has made the typical "going into the girl's changing room/bathroom" joke a couple of times, but in Egghead he goes all the way to be extremely frustrated about not being able to do so? And it is obviously different than wanting to keep Nami's body forever. It can still be seen as frustration for not being able to see girls naked. But. But. The fact that the length of the joke increases? The fact that it's way longer than it should be for an average "haha boobs" joke? You know what I mean.

Not to mention his whole arc during the time-skip and how a simple (both transphobic and misogynistic, by the way) joke, goes all the way to show us that Sanji is indeed comfortable in more feminine clothes and environment, until he's pretty much forced to snap out of his fantasy to go back to the crew. But he wasn't having a bad time at all. And it is intended to be a joke, but it's... Longer than it should be to be considered only a joke and to not pay attention to it.

This isn't meant to be an analysis of any kind because if it were I would've worded it differently and would've mentioned how his childhood is also extremely trans-coded, but we all already know that. I just find it extremely funny how all of these jokes that intend to be directed at straight perv men are actually too long to not be taken into consideration as something deeper than a joke. But, aha, yeah, these are just jokes and definitely not proof of Sanji's perception of gender and his issues with it.

#i KNOW these are just jokes but i'm just saying that increasing the length of a joke doesn't make it funnier it just makes it canon and real #the only one i consider to be a reach is the bathroom thing tbh but the other two??? sanji in the time-skip and punk hazard??? peak trans #also his whole backstory but we already know why that's trans coded #like-- finding extremely funny how so many cis straight dudebros keep wanting to project on him when sanji is sooo made for the queers #i am sorry but that's my bisexual genderfluid traumatized cook don't touch her #one piece #black leg sanji

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Culinary appreciation

[First] Prev <--> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #xiao xingchen #lan jingyi #lan sizhui #jin ling #And the mysterious red and green lads! Gosh I hope nothing bad happens to one of them in 6 days. #ouyang zizhen #nameless red disciple #(Note for latecomers: I did not tag Ouyang Zizhen in any of these comics until I made the red vs green poll. Where only one could live.) #I think a lot about how wwx thought about how he'd want to be friends with xxc #then him 'meeting' xxc and trying to save him. With flamin' hot congee. #It's true that many friendships can be forged via food. I have a hunch this one wont turn out so well #Let's give a good round of applause for xue yang for his outstanding performance. He nailed the role of xxc #specifically the fact that xxc if the kind of guy who gets handed dirt 'milkshakes' and leaf potions that children brew and drinks them #Then says he loves it. #I know we still have a day left on the cooking poll but I wanna just say that I think wwx also cooks like he's making dirt and leaf potions #in the sense he cooks by vibes alone and it does not always turn out well for other people #His little moment of throwing shade at the juniors for not knowing what good food (spice tolerance) lives rent free in my brain #sorry to break your confidence king; the one guys who said he liked it was lying to you because he wants something from you.