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greenhappyseed · 3 years

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BnHA Ch. 323 - parallels and comparisons

Most important thing first: Mic name-calls “Jeany” after Best Jeanist interrupts him and insults the UA teachers, saying the citizens find it hard to hear the truth from schoolteachers. Excuse me, PRESENT FUCKING MIC IS A PRO HERO WHO FOUGHT IN THE WAR AND ARRESTED THE DOCTOR. Ultimately, Jeany is trying to take responsibility, which is good, but the way he does it is insulting. Is that really how the Top 3 feel about the UA teachers? (This started out shitpost-y, but I think it does actually matter….)

On to Nezu, who, despite all his well-repressed rage, is still just a rat principal building a cage. He’s created an elaborate mecha-vault-campus to capture save humans and transport them around the country like Willy Wonka’s great glass elevator. Nezu says he did this on intuition, yet that can’t be the full story because his High Specs quirk gives him great insight into possible strategies the villains will use. In fact, the last time we saw his quirk in action, he was trapping 2 students in a maze, gradually blocking off all paths to the exit. Oh, and who else in BnHA is seemingly able to predict their opponent’s strategies and enjoys doing so? I’m not saying Nezu is “The UA Traitor,” particularly given his speech at the end of the chapter, but I AM saying there are parallels.

In particular, Nezu seems to do a lot of work related to quirk morality, while AFO refers to morals as mere fabrications.

Sticking with Nezu and jumping to the end of the chapter…this isn’t the first time he’s made a grand speech about UA students and the future. After DvK2, while Izuku and Katsuki are under house arrest, Nezu speaks to the school about All Might’s retirement and says how all of the students will “inherit this society.” The word “inherit” makes All Might think about his successor, and how Nezu reached out to him when he was searching in earnest (ie, when Nezu and Nighteye had Mirio picked out). Nezu’s “one step” language also ties back to an All Might monologue from the remedial course days — when Shoto, Katsuki, and the Shiketsu kids worked together to win tiny hearts AND All Might and Endeavor had their first real talk, leading Endeavor to reach out to Shoto.

Speaking of the remedial class moving forward, the Katsuki/Shoto “we are not friends” mutual side eye at the mention of Shiketsu is A Moment. Will the remedial foursome be trapped in an underground classroom!??!?

I think it’s clear that the heroes — pros, teachers, students — need to work together as one to win over “the citizens”. The heroes also need their supporters (hello kid in an All Might shirt!), parents (omg, Mitsuki holding Inko back from recklessly running into the crowd like the Midoriya she is!), friends, and rescued victims to take those steps to come forward. Izuku is moving forward for them, and they need to move forward for him.

I’m not convinced that Nezu’s “ultimate hero” is Izuku; it could be Katsuki, Ochako, Shoto, Mirio (hello underground permeation!), Shigaraki, Class 1A, or the entire “new generation”, judging by his “inherit” comment. Izuku is All Might’s chosen one to inherit OFA, but Izuku is NOT the only one inheriting society’s future. Special, but also not. (More on that later!)

Final bit on the mecha-school…I don’t think anything good in this series has come from being “underground”. I think we’ve already established that “underground” is neither safe nor invincible. Underground Yakuza compound. Underground prison. Underground hero (sorry Aizawa!!) Even when talking about the “ultimate hero,” Nezu speaks in terms of rising.

The text leaks said Eri was with Class 1B, which made me frustrated, but the panel is actually a lovely soft Monoma comforting her. It’s really sweet and shows off Monoma’s heroic heart! (And his off-duty fashion sense, because those buttons add some serious dramatic flair.) But, knowing that Aizawa, All Might, Mic, Thirteen, and the Big 3 are Eri’s usual caretakers makes me really sad for her — why are they ALL gone?? Especially when (1) she’s listening to a crowd call her personal hero a weapon with a cursed quirk, exactly how Chisaki used to talk about her; and (2) Izuku doesn’t HAVE to be the one taking care of her, but I think they’d both LIKE to see each other.

Speaking of the crowd, I do like having “the citizens” as a character. In the early chapters, we heard so much about protecting citizens and keeping society from falling into chaos, but it was all theoretical. With the jailbreak, the war destruction, and Dabi’s reveal, it’s good to see citizens who (1) question the value and robustness of the current hero society; and (2) are scared out of their minds. “The citizens” may be an obstacle for the heroes, but their fear and motivation is very rational under the circumstances. People who were forced to evacuate their home on short notice and hole up in a dormitory while skyscrapers crumbled due to villains gone wild (and, uh, Deku) are unlikely to trust the same people who created this mess in the first place. While WE know and love cinnamon roll Izuku, “the citizens” only know him as the target of Shigaraki’s destruction. He’s billed by Jeany as the One True Hope but the citizens know him as a dirty teenager insane enough to break his own bones in a school competition. He’s somehow related to AFO and is either a bomb for AFO, a Nomu-fied corpse doing AFO’s bidding, a target for Shigaraki, or a weapon against AFO that is falling apart at the seams. None of that is reassuring, so I can see why the crowd gets mad enough to make Izuku’s Danger Sense go off. The heroes need to take a moment to really empathize and understand the crowd’s fear and anger.

What’s missing from this scene? ALL MIGHT. The focus on Deku and the OFA/AFO quirks completely omits that Izuku is All Might’s handpicked successor, and that All Might used OFA as a force for good for decades. Jeany and Ochako confirmed Izuku is the special powerOFA holder, so it’s all out in the open except for how Izuku came to possess OFA in the first place. So much for Mt Lady and Endeavor’s media discussion in Ch.317! Also, as Lady Nagant told us, the HPSC was well aware of AFO and tracked his movements. AFO may have been a secret from the public, but was NOT a blind spot for heroes. Same with Gigantomachia — Gran Torino and Tsukauchi failed to capture him, but they knew of him and his association with AFO. (Nobody, including All Might, knew about the doctor and his quirk duplication prior to Hawks’s spy work and the hospital raid.)

I want to see all of this come into the open because the hero failures stem from All Might working alone in secret to stop existential threats while other heroes fought each other for table scraps. (Think of Manual, who is such a plain and underpowered hero, but was clutch during the war.) Heroes STILL aren’t working together, and to fight dual AFOs they are going to need every last bit of help they can get from each other, from students, and from citizens — quirked or not. Anyone who is willing or able to help should join in.

Unease is referenced in this chapter, and unease is what happens whenever All Might disappears. At first when All Might retires, Twice notes the widespread unease with Endeavor as the new #1. Endeavor himself notes his unease with becoming #1 by default rather than earning it. Shigaraki has a persistent unease with his past (pre-awakening), arguably because All Might never came to save Tenko.

Unease spreading through the citizens feeds into AFO’s win conditions perfectly. He WANTS as many fractured and walled-off groups as possible. To steal OFA and rule for eternity, he needs to prevent a “singularity” of will that opposes him.

Let’s see what happens next chapter — I still don’t think Ochako has quite hit her “light of hope” moment yet, and am not convinced this speech will be it. I do think she’s trying hard to humanize Izuku as the OFA holder, but the irony is, in doing so, she is denying he is a special person to her. Only a few humans are truly special at the societal level, but we all have friends and loved ones that think we are special. That’s right, you are loved, even if you don’t have OFA. You are loved even when you need saving. I think this is what All Might was getting at when he tells Izuku during the Sports Festival that there is something special in Izuku. All Might is saying he feels a connection and a trust with Izuku because they were both born quirkless, which makes Izuku special to All Might. This contrasts with Endeavor and Jeany, who view Izuku as special solely because he is the OFA wielder, and Izuku’s need to rest is in service to that duty rather than Izuku’s needs as a human.

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha 323 #mha 323 #bnha meta #mha meta #long post #all might #izuku midoriya #ochako uraraka #principal nezu #rat principal #present mic #Jeany

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jcmiesingh · 2 years

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TASK 06: CHARACTER INSPO

honorable mentions that aren’t strong parallels but i’m including them just for laffs: dennis reynolds (it’s always sunny in philadelphia), klaus hargreeves (the umbrella academy), jj maybank (outer banks), roman roy (succession), michelle mallon (derry girls), and this text post

see below for me going alligator_talking.gif about the six main parallels!

lip gallagher (shameless): ok i will not lie it has been years since i watched shameless so this one is mostly just vibes but his vibes are soooo jamie. especially the whole “feeling deeply but not knowing how to express feelings well so they come out in destructive ways” energy. i think the main similarity that differentiates lip from the other characters i included on here is that he’s smart in the same way that jamie is. sometimes i forget but jamie is actually very booksmart lmao it just doesn’t matter to him bc he never showed up to class and did not even consider college. so from what i remember of lip’s arc it’s the same kind of wasted potential energy where he could be applying his brain and succeeding in life but instead he does not give a flying fuck about academia and would rather be a menace to society.

dimitri (anastasia): i just thought of this parallel this morning and now i am absolutely obsessed with it. to be clear, i am not talking about the dimitri in the second half of the movie who learns to be selfless through falling in love and is sexily redeemed. i’m talking about the first half where he’s a lying con who manipulates others to his own ends and is a complete smooth-talking asshole. and also, the whole backstory of growing up poor and believing money will solve all of his problems? very jamie. even just the way he like, talks and carries himself is super similar to jamie’s mannerisms in my mind.

james cook (skins uk): once again i must include a disclaimer that i watched skins a super long time ago and my memory is poo. but ever since i came across this gifset, the jamie/cook parallel has lived rent-free in my head for months. i think the most distinctive thing he brings to the melting pot of jamie parallels is the fact that he is such a fucking survivor. like, no matter what bullshit he gets into & what kind of messes he creates for himself, he gets up and keeps going like a gross lil cockroach u keep trying to squish under your boot (thank you again to blair for that iconic comparison). and of course the general shitty troubled boy energy and the belief that he’s not really worth much at the end of the day.

john bender (the breakfast club): i know this movie is outdated and bender does some things that are straight up not okay but those are not included in this parallel thanks! we’re talking about the reckless disregard of rules and authority, the never knowing when to shut up, impulsivity and always fucking things up for himself. this is yet another case in which i don’t remember that much about the details of this movie lol but the vibes are 100% there.

jess mariano (gilmore girls): it’s this gifset for me if i’m being honest... the sarcasm is absolutely jamie vibes. i don’t think he has a ton in common with jess on a deep personality level but this one is mostly just based on energy? like the no-good kid who has a bad reputation in his small town, doesn’t give a shit what any of those people think, just walks around being a smartass instead. it’s also the mannerisms and the dry humor and emotionless witty facade.

rue bennett (euphoria): we’re just going to ignore rue’s whole addiction storyline because this one is also strong on just vibes! like if i had to describe how jamie carries himself through his day-to-day life, it’d be as a combination of dimitri, jess, and rue. i’m also including her because there is for sure something to be said for the fact that she believes the only thing she can do is hurt people, and there’s no point in trying to really better herself ‘cause she’s always just gonna be a shithead. that’s big jamie energy too.

#volumetask

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smolfailure · 3 years

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FUCK IT, DREAM SMP HOMESTUCK AU

but it's only half shitposts and there are actual Thoughts in there.

You don't need to have read the comic to understand because I tried not to spoil anything major, but it'd help if you knew basic stuff about classpects, SBURB and the hemospectrum.

disclaimer: i'm not a good pixel artist and this is my first actual sprites ever so please be kind to my weird pixels

The Kids:

Tommy

Fundy

Techno

Tubbo

tommy, tubbo and fundy one of the kids because they're the kids in dream smp canon (with fundy being son of wilbur)

techno's there because i want to make a dave strider reference (haha get it because techno's name is also da-- *gets shot) and also because they are both coolguys except instead of using irony, techno has adhd

The Trolls:

Wilbur Soohte (fuschia)

?????? Ehrret (violet)

J????? Shlatt (purple)

Nihacu Niikki (indigo)

Skeppy Diamon (cerulean)

Quacki Tthiey (teal)

Philza Myncra (jade)

Dreame Wastkn (lime disguising as olive)

George Notfou (gold)

Sapphe Nahfpe (bronze)

Badboy Haelow (burgundy)

don't come at me saying only females are allowed to be jades and fuschias; gender is fake and this is an au

more of the AU and the talksprites are under the cut:

Tommy

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Red

chaotic. the first person to be introduced.

when he gets introduced instead of the “Zoosmell Pooplord” bit, Tommy is initially going to be the name inputted but then backspaced it and decided that Tommyinnit was better and he was fuming until he’s named Tommy.

Gives me big Blood/Hope vibes. Blood because a lot of the conflict of the dream smp connected to someone breaking his trust or harming the things he cares about, Hope because a lot of the plot of the dream smp stems from Tommy starting shit based on his ideals and what he thinks is right.

the first to instigate fighting against the trolls

bbh contacts him once and tommy keeps cursing until he disconnects from frustration rip

wields Gunkind and his only strife weapon at the beginning is the Vlog gun. He has Gunkind as his strife specibus mainly because he looked up at schlatt and he imitates him.

Fundy

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Orange

it was his idea to play SBURB but only through Dream.

he talks to dream the most among the other trolls fwt stans getcha juice this is the rosemary of the session

dream’s the one giving him exposition about the game so that’s how he knows how to play SBURB.

wilbur trolls fundy once and instantly adopts him.

“You’re my son.” “How does that even work??” “I was one of the people who created your universe. It’s basically the same thing.”

Fundy relents anyway.

Techno

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Pink

dave strider but dead-inside voice + rose lalonde english major vibes

he slices the text box when you try to name him "Dave " like in

techno gives me time player vibes (contantly on the move. his skyblock series, his “stays in the pit” monologue,) but also rage vibes (anarchy, the “theseus” monologue, political alignment is Chaos) alas i am not sure what class

uses Tridentkind and claims "it came from god"

it was dream, he accidentally transportalized one of wilbur’s weapon while he testing the transportalizer.

Tubbo

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Green

the jade harley of this session. the only thing keeping them from going apeshit. where would they be without him.

but also jade harley in a sense that he seems nice and wholesome but also don’t fuck with them they can mess you up

Heart/Life vibes??? someone good at classpecting help

i put them in prospit bc of the "tubbo third eye" instead of tubbo having a sixth sense or smth, they see the future from the clouds of skaia when they sleep

wields Stress-relieverKind at some point

bonus: everyone’s actual hair colors

Ideas about the Trolls

no i haven’t done their sprites yet bc it would take so much time and i’m not even sure if people wanna see more of this au skjdkdsakdfkl,, but i have Design Ideas.

events of the dsmp revolution are just a FLARP session drawing parallels to how the homestuck trolls had a FLARP session that spoiler alert: destroyed friendships. dtrio, eret, will are involved. eret betrays will's faction and wilbur's still Bitter over that.

on the context of alternia (highbloods and lowbloods) lmanburg and dreamsmp have their roles SWAPPED. the emancipation theme thing is completely gone since highbloods are in more power than the lowbloods (the dream team) .

wilbur made a faction called l’manburg because he wants a place where he and his fellow highbloods could make drugs vibe.they take a piece of land that was owned by the dream team. in normal circumstances, they shouldve stood down because lowbloods aren't supposed to start shit with highbloods (especially a group of highbloods that has the alternian heir among them) but dream turned it into an activism thing about lowblood rights. the story plays as close as possible without tommy or tubbo in it (which is pretty hard ik but this is the best can do).

like in the dreamsmp revolution, dream kinda let wilbur do what he wants but this time he has more reason to because he’s in a lower caste. dream really only fought back when wilbur announced that he’d be building lmanburg on their land and calling it theirs.

eret betrays wilbur by supporting the lowbloods and wilbur and co. technically won but only because he finally called the drones in, as a reference to how lmanburg absolutely got crushed by the dream team in the smp but technically won. l’manburg keeps the piece of land and the dream team scatter away to find a new home.

wilbur soot's a fuschia because a) he's in a position that has a lot of power, b) yknow how he wrote a song about squids and his thing with sally… yeah.

eret's a violet because nobility!! dream looks down on him because he's ambivalent on fighting for lowblood rights when he's in a power to do so "you just sit there, and you look pretty that's it"

also like eridan he has a minor aesthetic mutation (herobrine eyes) that won't classify him as a mutant.

jschlatt is purple because it makes sense thematically because of the gamzee parallels (a. substance abuse b. if you know what happens in act 6, you know this already but spoiler alert, he ruins the main protagonists' lives) also he's a funnyman he deserves the clown caste

quackity's a teal because he’s a law student. moving on--

ok but for real it also makes sense thematically because he's the one who wrote the thing that tricked schlatt into agreeing also he gets manipulated by schlatt which also draws parallels to certain events in the comic

skeppy and bbh are BEST FRIENDS despite being highblood and lowblood respectively. initially, skeppy just wanted to bother bbh but they grew to be good friends in time. y’know like how they actually becane friends :D

philza minecraft is a jade because dad friend. also works thematically, because spoiler alert he gets to murder a seadweller for going batshit crazy.

he also god tiers early. he dies fighting his quick undead denizen (haha baby zombie) but the consorts of his land carry him to his quest bed because he’s treated them all so well.

dream was initially going to be another caste but then i realized that means i have to make his hoodie something other than green which is unacceptable so its a good thing the fact that he's a lime works out

dream was the one who thought of playing sgrub in the first place- initially only planned to have gogy, sap, and bbh in the session but then realized that they four won't be enough so he invited more into his session

he’s also the first to go godtier ez clap blind speedrun not sure what classpect tho

the only reason why dream avoided being culled at birth for being a limeblood is because his rng is That Good. he quickly picked up the fact that he’s not supposed to exist and masqueraded as an oliveblood and kept mostly to himself to avoid suspicion.

george is still colorblind but he has lazer eyes along with it instead. dream lives with him in the same hive since being a mutant means dream doesn’t get a lusus of his own (dnf fans getcha juice “and they were roommates”)

despite living in the same hive, he never really figures out that dream is a limeblood. possibly because a) he’s colorblind and when he sees dream bleeding he just sees yellow b) he’s just that fucking oblivious and it’s so valid of him.

sapnap’s a bronzeblood mainly because i know he’s the instigator of the pet war with tommy also because i associate him with the color orang in my mind so bronze it is

that’s the end of this long-ass post!! if you have other ideas PLEASE i want to hear them. i don’t know the other streamers i mentioned in here very well so if you have ideas that would be fitting to them like with classpect or lunar sway that would be GREAT.

the only thing i’m confident about in here are the kids’ lunar sways. i’m not an expert in classpects and homestuck lore so there’s that too!! i just wanted to make this post because adhd means that the idea wouldn’t shut up until i finished it. This initially started as a single shitpost edit of tommyinnit talksprite but then the hiveswap 2 trailer came out and that means i have to combine my two hyperfixations.

also i have ideas about potential quadrants but idk how much of that is breaking some streamers’ boundaries about shipping (even the non romantic quads such as kismesistude, morallegiance and auspisticism) so i decided not to include it.

edit: apparently people want more so i made a discord server as a place to brainstorm!! please pm me to join!

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theopolis · 3 years

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Extremely long, extremely salty Kindred criticism post

Yk the thing about the Kindred storyline is that it failed at being everything it was trying to be.

It wanted to be like DeMatteis' Goblin Junior arc while simultaneously inverting every concept from that arc. Harry is a gentle soul going down a dark path and hurting not only others but himself in the process? No, he's the comically evil mastermind who would throw his friends - Gwen and MJ, who even by his own standards have done him no wrong - under the bus to get revenge! Norman is the looming influence that follows Harry and motivates him to bend himself into who his father wanted him to be? No, he's the repentant, permanently dewey eyed reformed Norman who we're supposed to feel bad for when he gets dismissed and punched around by evil Harry/his demonic clone vessels/whatever the fuck. Peter is the best friend who, despite of course feeling angry and betrayed, believes in Harry's softness and their love and wants the best for him? No, he's immediately and with zero explanation ready to believe Harry is a literal demon all of a sudden and, I quote, "through with helping him". And I don't even think this (later clumsily backpedaled on) change of mind in Peter isn't justified in-universe - Kindred did uh, dig up the skeletons of Peter's loved ones and put party city wigs on them and also smash him with a big rock a couple of times, so there's that. But that's exactly the problem - Spencer set the stage for a story that doesn't actually involve Peter, or Harry, or Norman. He created mostly completely different dynamics between mostly completely different characters, and decided to project that on the the three of them. While also periodically inserting hamfisted callbacks to the DeMatteis stories, as if he didn't just take a giant dump on everything they established.

And here's the thing, even if I did enjoy the idea of Harry forgiving Norman, or the idea of Harry returning to villainy, or the idea of Norman becoming a character we're supposed to root for - which I cannot stress enough how much I don't - the execution of all these ideas was perhaps the worst it could have possibly been. Rushed, convoluted, and hollow.

Norman's sudden goodness is the result of a supernatural, vague process that apparently "freed him of his sin", whatever that means. Like, how do you quantify sin? How can you take it out of a person when it's their moral ideology and conscious choices that make them sinful/bad/evil? What happened to Norman simply reads like brainwashing to me. He is aware he's done something really bad, but he hasn't actually learned anything, and that impression is only backed by the way he talks about his past actions. It's always "oh it's my fault you're like this Harry" and "oh I can never make it up to you" etc etc but does he ever actually recognize his mistakes for what they were? Recognize where the errors of his past convictions lie? Of course not, because Spencer has zero reading comprehension and therefore no clue about the intricacies of Norman's character, his abuse of Harry, or what motivated it, or what he demanded of his son. It's funny how these four panels from a recent What If issue managed to paint a more compelling, if brief, picture of Norman as an apologetic father than Spencer has in a year worth of comics:

Harry's sudden villainy and the way it evolved throughout this story is just a train wreck. He has not had a substantial role in the comics for a long time now, but suddenly he's back AND he's evil! Who cares about complexity? Who cares about how Harry's feeling? Why he's doing what he does other than some extremely vague idea of revenge on apparently both Peter and Norman? Even though he was neck deep in denial about Norman being a horrible father and person at the time he supposedly launched the whole (checks notes) "create clones from Norman's and Gwen's DNA to stick it to his old man AND Peter in the future" plan, which he concocted because he somehow (????) knew his father wasn't gonna stay dead, which begs the question why he was so torn up about it in the first place, and- Look I could sit here all day trying to decipher the whole Gabriel and Sarah Stacy twist. It's impressive what an inconsistent, incomprehensible mess it is considering it was only introduced two issues ago. ASM 74 sort of hinted that Harry was being piloted by Mephisto when he created the clones so they could later become his hellish lackeys? I uhm, think? It's impossible to tell because no part of that retcon makes any sense to begin with. It doesn’t want to make sense because it was written - most likely on a whim - with the sole intent to garner good will for undoing Sins Past. Harry, for this entire arc, was not a character but merely a tool to bait us with an OMD reversal and ultimately do a Sins Past one. And of course, there's the fact that post OMD Harry - one of the only good things to come out of OMD in the first place - was just a clone all along, putting into question how valid all the amazing and inspiring development he went through since his revival was. Thanks a lot.

Lastly, I don't think I have to say how insulting it is to not just use Harry's character as a cheap plot device, but eventually force him to sacrifice his life for the very man who ruined it in every way. The man who abused him since birth, betrayed him on every level, attacked and murdered so many people Harry loves, including almost getting Harry's son killed. Why? Because he’s had a suspicious sudden onset of goodness that Harry has no context for? Norman and clone!Harry have not even interacted for this entire arc, but the sole act of Norman offering himself up to the rabid Kindred twins makes Harry instantly forgive everything he’s ever done. There was no build up to this whatsoever. It’s bad writing. And I don't think the abuse apologism implications of all this are intentional, I think Spencer just thought up the groundbreakingly subversive concept of "what if Norman good and Harry bad" and ran with that. But those implications are there nonetheless, because Harry and Norman's relationship has pretty much always been about abuse, about being mistreated by your parents, about not feeling good enough for them and eventually realizing that you were wronged and you don't owe them anything.

Spencer had Harry, a man who fought for years to rise to his best, most authentic self and fully turn his back on Norman and his legacy, die to save the father who never valued him for that self. And to add insult to injury, paralleled that with Harry dying after saving his best friend who loved him unconditionally. The latter mentioned death being a direct consequence of the actions Harry took to fit the expectations said abusive father had drilled into his head. I feel like that ending explains everything about this plotline.

#Harry Osborn #theopolispost #I'm tired #long post

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sub-hoshi-enthusiast · 3 years

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OMG SHUT UP A QUIET “YES YOUR MAJESTY” OR “YES MY QUEEN”????? Your minddddd >>>>>>>>>>>

I can only imagine how flustered he’d be when you call him to your bedroom for an “emergency” one night and you’re only wearing a semi see through robe and his cheeks immediately turn pink. You just brought him to talk about god knows what, some boring royalty stuff u need to do, just to see him get flustered struggling to keep eye contact. Every time you ask him if he understands he nods before taking a big breath to answer with a quiet “yes your majesty” and he’s seconds from losing it trying to keep his cool until you slowly start coming closer to him and when you’re inches from him you stop talking and look at him for a few seconds. “You look pretty like this”. He doesn’t even know how to respond, his eyes almost close automatically just by hearing that word and he feels like he’s about to faint. It must be a dream, right? You notice he’s frozen, “don’t you agree?” You ask him softly, trying to help him relax. “Y…yes, your majesty” he basically whispers. You smile and go to bring your crown, while he stands there and still doesn’t dare to eye you even when your back is turned to him. You come back and gently place it on his head. “Your majesty I..I don’t think I’m allowed t—“ you just shut him up with a kiss. You cup his face and he just melts into your touch feeling like his knees are about to give out. When your lips finally part you put your hands on his chest and give him a look, waiting for consent, he quickly nods which makes you smile and you start to undress him. Once he’s only in his underwear you both head to the bed, he sits on the edge of it while you’re still standing and he’s looking up at you with adoration. You hold his chin with your hand, not tilting his head too much so the crown wouldn’t fall off it, and look into his sparkly eyes. You swear you could see the whole galaxy in them. Your eyes trace down his body and you notice he’s painfully hard, “aw, hard already?” He just nods with a desperate face, his body feels like jelly and he thinks he’s in heaven. “I can’t hear you darling, you’re gonna have to speak up” you tell him gently, not wanting to ruin the precious boy just yet. His dick twitches at the new nickname you gave him and he takes a few seconds to re-set himself before answering. “Yes, my queen… I’m… really hard…” not knowing exactly what to say in this situation, he never thought in his wildest dreams that this would ever happen. You’re content with his answer and take the hand that was holding his face down to his erection, palming him through the thin fabric. He gasps sharply at the sudden contact and starts quietly whimpering, feeling a little embarrassed being so sensitive. If he ever stopped blushing during all of this, this would make his turn red all over again. Only once you’ve started touching him you noticed he’s leaking precum, you thought it’s time to completely undress him. You grab the hem of his underwear and slowly slide them down his legs, his dick sprung out and he let a heavy sigh of relief. You go to your dresser to grab a strap on, one that’s not too big, and turn around to show it him wanting to check if he’s ok with it. His eyes widen and he looks at you as if he’s pleading for you to use it. You needed him to say it though, “are you ok with this, honey?” And he couldn’t answer fast enough, “Yes! Yes your majesty!” You were very pleased, “on your back darling…” You took off your robe and slid the harness up your legs, when you reached the bed he was already on his back, feet parallel and his legs wide open. Both of his hands were trying to keep the crown on his head but the position wasn’t helping, it was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, you needed some more of that tonight. You decide to use his precum as lube because the boy was absolutely wet, and he started slowly whining as you stretched him out. He looked so beautiful with his rosy cheeks and his pretty mouth creating symphonies to your ears. You didn’t want this to end. Once he’s been stretched enough you slide your fingers out and tell him “You’re riding me tonight”. He nearly opens his eyes, (part 1)

Part two bc a bitch can’t shut up I’m sorry

He barely opens his eyes, registering that this still isn’t a dream. He obediently sits up and replies with a “yes, my queen”. He couldn’t help but shyly smile this time he said it, this time it felt more personal and he loves it. You get into a vague sitting position, resting your back on the pillows behind you and tell him to “sit on it”. He suddenly felt really shy, he doesn’t want to disappoint you but this position is new to him. He almost shakily hovers over your strap, a little scared to go any further. He looks up at you, waiting for another command and you can tell he’s nervous. “What’s wrong baby? Don’t you want to feel good?” You say as you gently hold his hips. He expression softens, he does want to feel good, he wants you to make him feel good. And just that thought gives him enough confidence to sink himself down your strap and god does it indeed feel good. You let him start slow as he’s quietly moaning with closed eyes, taking in this entire moment. You start to pick up the pace and move you hips into his, making him open his eyes in surprise and starts to moan louder. Looking at you only made him feel even better and urged him to bounce faster on your strap, trying to hold his crown still with one of his hands. He started to lose balance so you held his free hand with yours which made him whine, he loved feeling wanted. He looked so precious you had to kiss him, clashing your lips into his while he’s moaning into your mouth. You started to stroke him and he was just getting closer and closer, beginning to almost scream in pleasure as you touched him. You would’ve even played with his nipples if you only had a free hand, but you thought you’d save it for the next time. “Do you feel good baby?” You ask him, he almost doesn’t hear you over his own sounds, “Mmm yes!!” He says coherently. You wanted to hear it though, his response wasn’t enough for you. “Tell me how good your queen makes you feel, filling you up like this making you look so pretty with her crown on your head” he couldn’t take it, the fact you reminded him that it’s your crown on his head made him go crazy. “You make me feel so good my queen!! Thank you… for letting me wear your crown! Thank you thank you thank you” he cries out, getting really close “my baby boy wants to cum I see… do you want to cum for your queen?” He almost came right then and there hadn’t he wanted to please you so much. “Please your highness I want to cum for you please let me cum” he begged. He’s been such a good boy for you, how could you say no to that request? “Cum for me baby, make me proud”. He almost immediately cums, all over both of you bodies while moaning so loudly you already thought about how you’re gonna explain yourself to the rest of the servants of the palace. As he was coming down from his orgasm he could barely lift himself off of you, you helped him and then laid him on your bed, resting the crown next to him. You went to grab a warm wet towel and started to clean him. As soon as he realised what’s going on he sprung up and apoligized, taking the towel away from you and immediately started to clean you. He began to feel really embarrassed, not only making such a mess but letting you, his queen, clean him. “Your majesty I’m so sorry, I don’t know what has gotten into me. I won’t let this happen again, please forgive me—“ you snatched the towel from him and giggled. “You don’t have to apologize for anything baby” and finished wiping him down. He sat on your bed in disbelief, the nickname ringing in his head making him flustered. You started getting dressed and noticed him, still sitting there in silence. you giggled again. “If you don’t want me to call you that then i—“ “No!” He accidentally raised his voice. “…I like it…” You smiled and kissed his cheek. He looked at you and wondered if he could do the same…he wanted to so badly. The last thing he expected was to get a sudden promotion today, but he’s not complaining in the slightest.

This was so long I always start writing an ask with an idea and then get carried away but damn it never took me two whole asks to fit it all in😅 Hopefully it wasn’t too much I just really wanted to add to the royalty au bc my last ask barely had anything in it. I hope u enjoyed bb! <3

I'm- I'm ascending omg-

#you've done it #you've finally killed me 😭😭#sub!hoshi #sub!svt #sub!seventeen #answered ask #ask #ask response #anon

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bright-molina · 3 years

Text

Everything I Didn’t Say (Part One)

synopsis: You knew Sunset Curve would make it big. What you didn’t expect, though, was losing the people that mattered most to you. Now you’re left to navigate all the regrets you were left with. Turns out you’re not the only one with regrets though.

word count: 4.8k

pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

warnings: mentions of the guys dying, mentions of grief, there’s also a bit where reader goes to therapy if that counts as a warning

a/n: For @jatpx5sos Week Day Two: Parallels! The parallel I used is Everything I Didn’t Say and Unsaid Emily. This is also part one of about nine of the Everything I Didn’t Say series which I’m so freakin excited about not gonna lie. The second part will be up in a couple days!

Also real quick, the bold italics are the lyrics just as a note.

“You can’t be sneaking in here, you know.”

“I know. But I wanted to see you.”

Luke smiled as he slid into the seat beside you, not hesitating at all to take your hand, press his lips to the back of it, then lean his head on your shoulder. Each action a silent acknowledgment that he really had missed you quite a bit in the last few hours since you’d seen him.

The moment was broken up quickly by Bobby taking a seat right on the opposite side of Luke. He set his head on the palm of his hand and looked up with wide eyes and a smirk. “What about me? Did you want to see me too?”

“Oh always.” Luke answered just as easily with his own smirk, shooting a wink in his direction. Your laugh and Reggie’s mingled together as he and Alex approached the table just in time to hear the last of their quips. Meanwhile Alex only smiled in amusement while he dug out the item he was looking for from his backpack.

You took the notebook back from him and he took his usual seat across from you. As you waited for his feedback you noticed Luke’s attention narrow at the item and you wordlessly handed it over to him. Almost immediately he sat up to eagerly search for the page that held the newest song you were working on.

Your attention remained focused on Alex. “What do you think, will it work?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Alex nodded, glancing at where Luke was now looking through the most recent lyrics you had added, he and Bobby quickly jumping into a conversation about possible rhythms and melodies.

“Well I know so,” Reggie nudged his shoulder and grinned as he turned to face you. “The song screams drum heavy and if anyone can do it it’s our Alex. We were gonna stop by the music rooms during free period to work some stuff out. You should come with!”

Just as you were about to argue that you couldn’t Luke looked away from the notebook, his pencil leaving a half finished word behind. “Forget that, let’s just head back to Bobby’s. We’ll work on it and have the chorus nailed by the end of the day.”

It took very little convincing for the three boys to agree to Luke’s proposition, each of them stuffing what was left of their lunches in their bags. You, on the other hand, stayed silent. A fact which they noted.

It was a place you had found yourself in dozens of times before. Reggie, Alex, and Bobby said their goodbyes to you and moved just far away enough to pretend they couldn’t hear you and Luke talking.

This time was different though. It wasn’t just another harmless practice session to mess around in. In exactly four days time Sunset Curve would be playing The Orpheum. This was one of their last practices before then and they were determined to get everything as close to perfect as they could. Including the most recent song they wanted to debut just for the occasion.

“I -” You wanted to join them more than anything. But the argument you’d had with your parents just that morning rang loud in your head. It’d been prompted by a failed test, a less than ideal summer school progress report, and another full song book they’d found. “I can’t.”

“We need you,” Luke turned in his seat to face you and reached forward, interlocking your hands together once more. “We’re almost there, just a few more days until the show and then we’re solid. Then I promise you can focus on these fancy prep classes, I’ll even help you.”

It was tempting, you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t. Writing those songs beside Luke was quite possibly the best thing you had. It couldn’t be the only thing anymore though and that was a fact you hated admitting to yourself.

“I can’t,” You gave a sigh and tapped the cover of the notebook quickly. “I’ll work on the song a bit in my free time and meet you there later alright?”

As much as Luke wanted to argue, he didn’t. Not at the time being. He could understand well enough the pressure you were under. So he only nodded, gave you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and squeezed your hands once before standing. “Yeah. Later.”

“So what do you think?” Luke asked excitedly as the notes they’d been playing faded away softly. All of them were looking at you eagerly and you tried your best to match their excitement. And you really did love what they’d done with the song. It was just hard to be as enthusiastic when the rest of your afternoon had been less than ideal.

You finally answered him, trying to push your other worries and the pile of work you knew you had waiting for you to the back of your mind. “It’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you think so cause we have news,” Luke stepped forward after cheering at your approval along with the others. “We wanna make it our closer for Saturday.”

You didn’t try to hide your disbelief that time, though you did wonder for a second if you’d heard him right. “It’s not gonna be ready on time.”

“So we’ll put extra work into it,” Luke frowned a bit but stepped towards you anyway. “I’ve already got ideas for the verses, just tell me when and we’ll work on it.”

“I can’t.” You repeated the words as you tried to push away the echoes of an argument you knew you couldn’t ignore anymore.

“You can’t?” The rest of the room had grown quiet and tense but Luke kept going. “Y/N this is huge for all of us, you included.”

“And I get that, I do,” You finally looked away from the words in the songbook and up at him. “But as much as you want me to, I can’t put all my focus on this. Not right now.”

“Why not?”

And there it was.

There were so many ways in which you and Luke were the same. The two of you could spend hours side by side doing what you both loved. Writing and creating music together in a way that was special. In a way that you didn’t have with anyone else.

This was where you were different though. Luke was braver than you were, you could admit that much. He was ready to drop everything to pursue a future in music with the band and he had. You couldn’t do that though, not with parents who had never wanted you to start this journey in the first place.

And though you had expected it you still didn’t believe it. You were very aware of Bobby, Alex, and Reggie avoiding all eye contact with either of you. Sure conversations similar to this one had happened before but never had you looked as angry as you did now.

Without another word you stood, shoving the songbook in your bag along with the text books that had sat unused. It was better to get out of there. You didn’t want to but you had to.

“Y/N -”

“I have more going on then you care to know, alright?” It was all you said before storming out of the garage.

Luke followed you, though, determined to figure out whatever was happening. He needed you and that was a fact he wasn’t afraid to admit. “Tell me.”

“What?”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

For a second you weren’t too sure what to think. The rational part of your brain knew he did care. Of course he did, he’d helped you as many times as you’d helped him. But you weren’t listening to that part. It was easier to listen to the part of you that didn’t require too much thought when your mind was already a storm of second guesses.

“Why? You only want to know so we can finish this song.”

Luke tried reaching for you like he always did but stopped when you took a step back. “That’s not the only reason.”

“So it is part of the reason.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?” You didn’t mean for the words to start coming out. There wasn’t a single filter in place at the moment and every thought, no matter how little you meant them, came out. “That what I have going on isn’t as important? I can’t afford to put all my energy into this, Luke. I’ve told you before and you always say you understand but I don’t think you really do.”

“I do understand.”

“Do you?” With a sigh you took the songbook out of your bag, one with both your names scribbled on the front cover in his handwriting, and shoved it into his hands. “Do whatever you want with them, they’re all yours now.”

You were positive the clock on your wall was mocking you. The ticking seemed louder than ever, as if it knew all you wanted to do was ignore it.

You hadn’t talked to Luke at all in the last four days. Both Reggie and Bobby had stopped by a couple times and Alex, who lived right next door, checked in with you every morning and every night. You were sure he was put up to it, despite telling you otherwise.

With an annoyed groan you backed your chair away from the desk and started spinning in slow circles. Their soundcheck would be starting soon and you were trying to push the thought out of your head and focus on the homework you were supposed to be working on.

Then the wheels of the chair slipped back in the middle of a spin and the textbook on your desk toppled to the floor. A single sheet of notebook paper was left on the floor after you picked it up. When you reached for the paper you were met with the sight of a dozen creases and a mix of different handwriting.

The memory connected to it was as vivid as ever. It was one of the first songs you’d written with Luke forever ago. It had gotten confiscated from the two of you after you’d been caught passing it back and forth during class. Then you’d both been given detention after a little too much begging to have it back.

Without another thought you stood and reached for the badge with the Orpheum logo and the letters ‘VIP’ printed underneath it. Luke had given it to you proudly weeks ago while declaring ‘You really don’t think we’d do this without you, right?’

You practically sprinted out of the house, ignoring the calls of your mom asking what you were doing, and left. You were certain now that there was only one place you had to be.

It took two buses and sprinting as fast as you could a few blocks before you finally reached the building, frantically showing the person at the door your badge. The looks you received from various employees did nothing to stop you from running through the halls until you reached the stage area.

Almost immediately you zeroed in on the sound of a familiar voice and called his name. You watched as Bobby looked around for a few seconds before finding the place where you stood. His grin matched your own and he met you halfway, excusing himself from the girl he’d been talking to.

“I knew you’d make it,” He nodded towards the badge and laughed a bit. “You’re too stubborn not to.”

“Very funny.” You rolled your eyes at him before smiling at the girl who had joined the two of you. She held a Sunset Curve shirt in her hands along with a demo and you knew without having to ask what had happened there.

“Rose, this is Y/N,” Bobby’s smile turned more genuine and less teasing. “The brain behind about half our songs.”

“Half is too generous.”

“And you’re too modest.”

“You’re a songwriter?” Rose practically beamed and you couldn’t help but take after her as you nodded. “Remind me to get some input from you on a few things I’m working on.”

“I’m happy to help,” You told her and waited as she scribbled down her number on a napkin. You thought your glance around the room had been subtle but Bobby had noticed almost right away.

“Luke’s not here,” Of course he knew what you were thinking and who you were looking for. “He went to get some food with Reg and Alex.”

“Did they say where they were going?”

“Not really. Said they were getting hot dogs and you know how they are with street food.” He noticed the way your shoulders sank and you started twisting the lanyard of the badge around your hands and reached forward to stop you. “Hey, they’ll be back soon. You can talk to Luke then alright?”

You tried to nod but all you could think of was the argument. It was days later and you’d thought much too long about it. “Is he mad at me?”

“Are you kidding? He could never be.” Bobby gave you the most reassuring smile he could and to his relief it worked a little.

“Hey, why don’t you tell me about one of your songs,” Rose caught on easily to how anxious you were getting and started pulling you towards one of the tables after shouting behind her shoulder that she was taking her break. “Then I’ll tell you about one of mine. Deal?”

“Yeah,” You nodded as the three of you sat down. “Yeah, alright.”

Rose’s distraction worked. You lost track of time and very quickly grew invested in the conversation. So much so that you didn’t really notice what was going on around you.

You didn’t notice the sound of sirens passing by the building. You didn’t notice the way the chatter outside became louder as a crowd grew. You didn’t notice the sudden silence of the room as a single police officer stepped in, speaking briefly to the manager before walking towards the table.

“Are you -” The officer paused for a second, glancing around at the three of you before giving a soft sigh and focusing on the person he was looking for. “Are you Bobby?”

“Yeah.” The easy going smile Bobby had been wearing faded quickly. You knew yours did too. “I am. Why?”

Then this overwhelming, sinking feeling filled every part of your body. Something was wrong. You knew just by the look on the officer's face. The words he spoke next only confirmed it. Reggie. Alex. Luke. Accident. Tragic. Gone. I’m sorry.

Everything around you went blurry, all the sounds muffled as those words echoed through your head until they finally sunk in. You weren’t too sure when it was that the tears started streaming down your face or when the officer left.

Eventually though, you looked up to find Bobby in the same state you were sure you were in. You didn’t really process your movements either as the two of you moved closer together. What came next was the shocking realization that you were all each other had left. That was it. Alex and Reggie and Luke, your boys, were gone. And there was no changing that.

“I feel like I’ve been wearing this for years now.” Bobby muttered as he picked at the black fabric of his suit. It was the third time now that the two of you found yourselves in this position. Sitting on the floor outside the garage, the door shut tight, in black clothes.

The instruments inside sat untouched now. The space that had been filled with music and laughter and unbelievable amounts of joy just a short while back was silent now, something that at one point you didn’t think was possible.

“I hate it.”

It wasn’t clear whether you meant the black clothes or how things had turned out or just the feeling of something missing that seemed like it would never go away. Maybe it was a terrible concoction of all of three.

“Yeah,” Bobby nodded and let his head fall back against the garage door, trying his hardest to stop silently crying for what felt like the thousandth time that day. “Me too.”

Two months later you sat with Bobby at a café that had opened not too long ago. The songbook you and Luke had once shared sat unopened in front of you. It was the first time you’d actually accepted it from him.

He had found it with Luke’s things after finally working up the courage to go back into the garage two weeks after he started seeing his therapist. The last time he tried giving it to you you’d given it back with tears and shaking hands insisting you couldn’t take it. You’d made progress though, no matter how small, and that was a huge thing.

“You should come with me next week.” Bobby finally broke the silence, looking up from where he’d been staring at the table but still tapping his feet on the floor.

“To see your therapist?” You were grateful for the interruption, thoughts already running rampant in your head at the sight of the songbook.

“Yeah. I told her about you, how we were -” He paused then as the memory flashed in his head for a second. He breathed in deeply then exhaled slowly as he reached for his cup of tea. “How we found out about Reggie, Luke, and Alex together. How close we all were, how the two of us still are. She said you were free to join for a session if you wanted.”

“I’ll think about it.” You told him honestly as you nodded, folding your arms in front of you so the songbook was out of sight.

“Good.” Bobby leaned forward then, turning his gaze back to the top of the table once more as he debated whether or not to say anything. Ultimately he did. “Thanks.”

You looked at him then, head tipping to the side as you studied him for a moment. “For what?”

“For being here. Through everything.”

You were positive then that no matter what happened from that moment on Bobby was always going to be someone who you knew would be there for you, just as you were always going to be there for him.

The smile you gave him was gentle, reassuring in a way you knew he needed at the moment. “Of course.”

“You bring that with you every time you come see me.”

“I take it with me everywhere, honestly,” You admitted, noticing the way Dr. Crystal nodded a bit before leaning forward.

“Can I?” She asked as she motioned towards the songbook just barely peeking out of your bag. You nodded and handed it to her, watching closely as she flipped through it carefully. She noticed. “Why do you think you carry it with you?”

“I think -” You gave a sigh as you started fiddling with the hem of your shirt. There was no doubt that she already knew the answer, and she knew that you probably did too. The couple of sessions you had attended with Bobby helped a lot and you’d been seeing her on your own for almost three months now. “Cause it was Luke’s. It was ours and -”

When you didn’t continue she shut the songbook and set it on the table between the two of you, gently sliding it in your direction once more. “It’s what still connects you to him.”

“It’s just - If I open it and - and look at everything in there it just reminds me that that’s all I have left of him and Alex and Reggie. If I open it and read those songs it feels like when I close it they’ll be gone.” You surprised yourself with your own words. One of the things you had yet to decipher in the last couple of months was if Dr. Crystal’s silence was a good thing or not.

“That’s not true, though. You have your memories of them. They’re still there in you and in Bobby. You may have lost Luke and Reggie and Alex but you still have him and Rose.” She spoke honestly as she glanced at her watch. You knew what that meant and so you reached for the book and returned it to its usual place in your bag. “I think it's a good idea to try and look through the songbook, Y/N. It might make it easier if you had someone there with you.”

“I’ll -” You sighed as you stood from your seat and then finally nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

Three days later you once again sat with Bobby, this time in the living room of your otherwise silent and empty house. It was usually that way now. Your parents still walked on eggshells around you, not too sure when it would be acceptable to stop.

“Did you ever look through it?” You asked as you turned on the couch, the still closed songbook now on your lap. He had promised to be there with you when you opened it and he was.

“I did,” Bobby admitted, turning just as you had. “When I first found it an-and before I gave it to you.”

You nodded once before looking down at the cover of the songbook. Then quickly before you could change your mind you opened it.

The first sight you were met with was your name in Luke’s handwriting on the front cover, his own name right underneath it. You’d been expecting it but it still caught you off guard. Then you saw the song lyrics on the first page and broke down completely.

It was a page full of scribbles and smudges and crossed out words. Your handwriting and his mixed together in a way that didn’t quite make sense but that held memories only you had shared with him. A tear fell onto the page and you quickly dabbed it away when you saw the ink start to run, leaving behind a spot of paper crinkling in on itself.

You only made it through a couple pages before you stopped paying attention to the words, soft cries bouncing against the walls. Bobby took the notebook from your hands carefully, sniffling once and wiping the tears out of his own eyes.

“He, uh,” He flipped open to the last dogeared page, one near the very back. That one, like the others, was covered in smudges of lines that had been erased and written several times over. Lines that were erased and never finished. “Luke was writing this for you. Started it the night you guys-”

Bobby stopped the moment he noticed you shut your eyes tightly and he knew you were remembering that day. He quickly shook his head, his own thoughts going back to that day.

He’d walked into the garage late that night and had found Luke hunched over the notebook just as he had dozens of times before. Unlike the other times, though, his face was twisted into deep concentration as he stopped every few seconds to think. When he finally let him read what he had been working on he wasn’t at all surprised by what he found on the pages.

“You have to know he wasn’t mad at you,” Bobby shut the songbook once more after reading through that same list and looked at you once more. There was a different sort of heartache painted on your face and it pained him to look at it. He did it anyway though, you deserved as much.

“How do you know that though?”

“Because he never was. He never got angry at you ever but especially not that night. He wanted to stop by your place the night of the sh- of the show. But we -” He sighed then and his head fell, eyes shutting tight as he once again recalled every single event the night of the Orpheum show. He’d replayed it dozens of times over, wishing more than anything that he could go back and change it all.

Then Bobby caught sight of the tears streaming down your face once more and without thinking he wrapped you in as comforting a hug as he could muster. It took a few moments before he realized it was the first time since before the show that he was doing so. Even the simple action reminded him too much of the friends, brothers really, that he’d lost.

But they were gone. They were gone and you were here. You were right there beside him and you needed him. “We ran out of time.”

The silence hung heavy between the two of you. The feeling you felt, though, was anything but. It was a strange one that almost made you feel that despite everything you’d gone through the last few months you’d be okay as long as you had more moments like these.

You thought of the boys then. Of messing around with Reggie and late night talks with Alex. And of Luke. Your Luke who you wanted to say so many things to but couldn’t anymore.

“We did, didn’t we?”

It was the day before your next appointment with Dr. Crystal that you sat alone in your room. This time though, you were surrounded by old sheets covered in lyrics and notes written on various scraps of paper. Some of them were in your handwriting, sure, but it also included some in Luke’s. His and Reggie’s and Alex’s and Bobby’s.

The last few days had been spent reading all those old notes and the songs filling the majority of the songbook. You’d been trying to work up the courage to finally look at the one Luke had been working on. The one supposedly meant for you.

With a deep sigh you finally opened the cover and flipped to the page you’d been avoiding until that moment.

The first thing you saw was a single line at the top of the left page.

I hope you know for you I'd sacrifice to make this right

What quickly drew your attention though was the letters bigger than anything else on the page. You’d spent ages mastering the art of reading Luke’s handwriting and you could immediately tell he’d written and rewritten it until it was as neat as he could manage.

I wish I could've made you stay and I'm the only one to blame. I know that it's a little too late. This is everything I didn't say.

The last phrase had been written over a couple times and underlined. Right underneath it though was a list paired with bits and pieces of lyrics.

All the songs that we wrote

1. We’ve written so many things together and I can’t imagine doing this without you. You always let me ramble on, help me gather it all together in a way I can’t on my own.

All the wrongs that I hoped would erase from your memory.

2. For some reason you always forgive me. Whether it was making you late or getting us in trouble or some stupid fight we had. This is different and I don’t know what’s going to happen but you have to know I’m sorry.

Holding onto a broken and empty heart.

3. I could’ve done better. I know that. All I can think of is all the times you talked to me. All the times you trusted me. And I hate that I told you I’d be there for you and I wasn’t always. I’m so sorry, Y/N.

Flowers I should’ve bought, all the hours I lost. Wish I could bring it back to the start.

4. I needed to say all of this sooner. I know that. I took what we have for granted and god I just want you here with me again.

The amount of time that passed was unclear. All you did was read the words over and over again until you practically had them memorized, burned into even the deepest parts of your brain. At some point you registered the stiff feeling of dry tears on your cheeks and it was then that you reached for a pencil.

Your hands shook as you brought the songbook onto your lap and leaned over the page. The letters came out wobbly, just barely legible, as your breathing picked up faster than you would’ve liked.

The moment the words were on the page, though, it felt like a weight was finally being lifted off of your shoulders. Written in your handwriting right on the opposite side of Luke’s were the same words he’d written months before you.

Everything I Didn’t Say

Tags

Everything: @meangirlsx @theolivekiddo @dream-a-little-bigger-x @s-h-a-d-o-w-s

To the following, you guys had mentioned wanting to be added to taglists on this post but by all means please feel more than free to let me know if you wanna be removed, I won’t mind!: @n0wornever @calamitykaty @hellophantoms @jaskiers-sweetkiss @funsizearsonist @crybabyddl

message me/shoot me an ask if you’d like to be added/removed

#hhhh i hate doing tags cause i'm bad at it here we go #jatpx5sos #luke patterson #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson x reader #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #jatp fanfiction #julie and the phantoms fanfic #julie and the phantoms x reader #julie and the phantoms imagine #jatp fanfic #jatp x reader #jatp imagine #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson fanfiction #luke patterson fanfic

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11byers · 3 years

Note

Talk to us girl! What else do you have to say about El's arcs through the seasons and motherly love? I want to hear THIS content, f*ck all the ship wars!!

i’m so sorry this took actual months to reply to, i’m not gonna get into why just.... hi anon, ty for your patience 😭 tbh i'm not sure if i'm saying anything new, but this is almost 3k words long so hopefully i'm offering something

a few things to note before i delve into everything, bc this is a gendered topic:

el identifies w femininity, even after being raised in a lab w just a number as a name, essentially raised w/o any real gender constructs set in place, or at least not enough to understand gender fundamentally. but she identifies w femininity, as seen in the way she gravitates to feminine symbols in her surroundings. and it's interesting how her relationships w female characters are always given a bit of attention

the way fathers are portrayed on this show is... notable. we've got el's father figure brenner, as well as kali's relationship w brenner, steve's dad is apparently an asshole, ted is ted (not the worst but isn't much anyways), billy's dad been abusive his whole stay, lonnie is a danger to society, and hopper, although arguably redeemable and has been given more attention since he's a central character…… hasn't been the best all the way through. lucas' dad was p alright and dustin……… doesn't have one 🙃

meanwhile we got joyce who's the best parent in this entire show PERIOD absolutely beautiful amazing talented show-stopping etc etc, there's karen who almost slept w a minor but made a last minute decision not to (karen is a work in progress and i have a lot of thoughts about her i'm not gonna get into), dustin's mom is cute (a bit dopey but cute), lucas' mom is also cute, billy's mom is practically portrayed as an angel, and terry……… poor poor terry.

anyways there's a very clear difference.

st1

the topic of el and motherhood doesn’t really get tackled until st2, but i'm gonna go through this season by season. bc, spoiler alert, i'm fairly certain joyce will be el's mother/mother figure once the show's wrapped up. we can even say that's already happened after st3's ending, but ofc we're still in need of more personal relationship development.

basically, i believe el's relationship w motherhood, and her idea of mothers has a lot to do w joyce.

joyce is essentially el's "standard" (for lack of a better term) for what a mother is supposed to be.

someone might have to correct me on this, but i like to think that joyce is the first example of motherly love that el truly experiences (other than briefly seeing terry in the lab). not even when they first meet tho, but when the boys sneak el into the school and she "channels" will through the p.a. system.

when she hears joyce trying to comfort will and tell him to hide (which in itself messes me up bc depending on your take on the demogorgon, that shit is heart wrenching), i can only imagine what el might be thinking. what will has in joyce is completely different from what el has in brenner 😭

el's (as well as the show's tbh) view of fathers are very different from her view of mothers. fathers are demanding, ruthless, and cold. but she sees joyce, and she thinks mothers are passionate, caring, and protective, and all of that translates through a p.a. system when el hears joyce's desperation. i'm sure el sees a lot of herself in will - his fear and desperation, his terror of being in the upside down, describing it as cold and dark, just like the chamber brenner locks her in, or even the void, the water tank, her own room even - which only makes joyce's impression on her so much stronger.

and in ep7 'the bathtub' when el gets to have a one-on-one w joyce, there are certain points in that scene that parallel her and brenner, and i think that only hammers home el's idea of what mothers are and what they should be.

joyce promises her a presence. joyce is able to be there for her, comfort her, even when el is in a place like the void, that's just emptiness and darkness all around. she hears joyce's voice, and for once she's not alone. and it's nice to think she's w joyce and will in these moments, when she's in castle byers and she can act as a connection to will and joyce (a-and jonathan, sorry i don't really mention him throughout this piece, i didn't even expect to mention will this much, but jon's important too, we love a parental big brother).

it's shown how scared el can be moment to moment. the second will fades from her, she cries for him and curls up into a ball, and once she's out of the upside she latches onto joyce - and gosh the dependability!! joyce is there for her just like she promised.

this makes el meeting her own mother fuking heartbreaking.

st2

this idea of a mother sticks w el this whole time, and her idea of fathers doesn't get any better. i don't think el even pictures hopper as any kind of father figure, definitely not yet, but as a "friend," hence her shouting at him "friends don't lie". it's not until they're fighting and she shouts "you are like papa!" that it all comes full fuking circle!!

(it's the way hopper leaves her alone for hours, like how brenner isolates her in a dark chamber. it’s how in both instances, she’s still isolated from society. it's the way hopper sets rules for her that don’t allow to act instinctively on her own. it's him telling her "you wanna go back in the lab? i can make that happen." it's damaging shit. it's triggering.)

then el finds out that hopper lies to her again, but this time it's about her mother, which……..

that scene of her breaking down, crying for her mama, is so sad. idk what else to say, everything that happens from this point on is sad!!!!!!!

fast forward to el reaching terry and becky's house. i can't even imagine what el feels when she meets her mom for the first time……… and terry is in the state that she's in. barely responsive.

but i can say how el's guilt is continuously brought up time and time again, bc when she sees terry's memories and sees how determined terry was to get her back, the lengths she went through - it's all just like joyce. her expectations of a mother stays intact.

only, unlike joyce and will, things don't work out in the end for el and terry. terry suffers for trying to get el back. and it wouldn’t be surprising if that fed into el’s guilt.

(also, this has bothered me ever since first watch, but terry is portrayed w a bit of hostility when el returns. when el meets her in the void, and she's says she's home, terry tells her "no" and grabs her arm, triggering terry's memories. it's lead me to ask myself if terry holds resentment for el, and for the price terry had to pay....... or maybe it was just for dramatic scary horror, i’m not entirely sure.)

there's this moment right after el comes out of the void and back into reality, and becky tries to comfort her. bc of terry's unavailability, it's a possibility that becky could've been the mother figure that el needed. but the awkwardness in this moment - in how terry tries to comfort el, but el is still visibly shook and doesn't hug back, unlike her moment w joyce in st1, when el practically clings to her - kinda foreshadows how things just aren't gonna work out so ideally.

this next bit regarding el avenging terry may or may not be a lil "out there" but i think it's interesting to think about.

el views finding kali as something terry wants her to do. and kali echoes that sentiment. kali essentially acts as this one last tether el has to terry, which may be why she thinks of kail as a sister.

i have a lot of thoughts about el's self worth, her morality, her means of protecting others no matter what she suffers. i’m not about to go on a tangent, but just to get the main idea out there: el straddles a line between viewing herself as a monster and viewing herself as a protector, and anything outside of that feels is out of her reach.

what kali gives her is a chance to sorta explore that monstrous side of herself - the side that is willing to hurt others, even when there's no one in immediate danger to protect.

but kali is her last tether to her mother. and what kali is asking her to do clashes w what she pictures a mother is meant to do. i'm not saying kali is some kind of mother figure, nor is that really the bigger picture. but finding kali is something terry "told" her to do. it all plays a part in the scene when they confront the man that followed brenner's orders, ray carrell.

would terry actually want this for el?

el sees a photo of that ray and his daughters, and reminds herself of what she wants, what she yearns for, and what she's been deprived of. the reason why she feels so much pain, and is having so much trouble healing. and she chooses to protect the children - to prioritize the children - instead of giving in to the monster inside of her planted by brenner.

kali has different values. she's chosen a different path for herself. we're never really sure what kali knows about her own past, who she's met in her life, but we do know that she's lost people, and she doesn't have much of a connection to terry despite el considering her a sister.

and that comes full circle when kali makes el see brenner.

the words brenner uses here are technically just kali's words, since she told el the same things and brenner in this scene is just an image created by kali. but that's what makes this scene so brilliant. this scene is kali talking to el, but she’s masked as brenner.

brenner tells people they're sick. kali still believes she's sick. kali hasn't healed despite claiming to - instead she's become a mirror to brenner.

this is el's view of fatherhood: demanding, ruthless, and cold. brenner hurt el, and bc of all that hardship, el is in danger of becoming a mirror to brenner. and unfortunately, this is what kali has succumbed to. kali has failed to realize the monster she's so convinced that she is, is a concept completely fabricated by brenner.

this is what leads el back to her friends. just like how terry did everything in her power to save el and suffered devastating consequences, el returns to her friends to wholeheartedly put herself in that very position.

it's so touching to see el and joyce hug. although, joyce is still "will's mom" to el (she even refers to her as such in st3). but she still holds that connection to the byers family. el still prioritizes will's safety, just as she prioritized the kids back in chicago.

now to briefly cover what el and hopper's reconciliation means for this topic - it's a very vulnerable scene. one of the most vulnerable scenes in the entire show. el and hopper allow themselves to understand and relate to each other, through guilt and trauma and emotion, and bc of the profound impact of this conversation, hopper is…… enough. it’s still uncertain that el considers hopper as a father figure, but at this point she lost her mother, and she lost kali, and hopper lost sarah. they have each other though. and it gives both of them the chance to finally begin to heal.

el channels the anger she feels being deprived of a mother to close the gate. but the gate's essentially a scar still struggling to heal.

st3

it may be a mystery to no one that i'm not a big fan of st3, and there's not a lot to talk about in terms of el and joyce. couple notes about them tho, before we get into the real shit that happened this season

hopper asks if joyce could talk to el and mike for him, which she turns down, so they're deliberately being kept apart by the writers (i also feel like we have v limited knowledge of what joyce thinks of el, so she might be keeping her distance for reasons i'm not really sure of yet).

it's cute to think about how hopper's letter isn't just hopper's letter, but it's joyce's letter to el as well. el just doesn't know it.

let's talk about billy's mom.

el's relationships w female characters on this show always seem to be given a lil extra layer. and el's immediate draw towards billy's mom is so charming to watch. she calls her "pretty" and feels as if she's is looking at her, all before she even finds out who the woman is.

once again, the standard for motherhood on this show is enforced by billy's mom and her literal angel-like presence. she's good to billy, she allows him the freedom of doing what he loves, but not before warning him that dad might get mad!! great!!

billy goes through very similar phases that el went through

his father is abusive, and hurts both billy and the mother

billy loses his mom

the lack of proximity to his mom eventually leads him to mirror the toxicity of his father

the moments that el seems to recognize rather quickly are when billy's dad is being abusive, billy desperately wanting his mom to come home, and billy quickly succumbing to toxicity.

we've explored this pattern in previous seasons, so it's pretty easy to piece together, even within a quick montage.

so when el has her moment w billy, reminding him of his mom, it's so incredibly powerful. when you think about how much this moment upon, after everything that happened in the previous 2 seasons, it just hits.

just as we've discussed how motherhood throughout the show has meant prioritizing the safety of the ones you care about and protecting them against all odds, billy protects el from the mind flayer to the point of self sacrifice.

(and while i may not agree that it completely works just bc of how i feel about billy as a character, it works to tie in all these themes really well. also i'm sure there's other kinds of readings you can do on this scene, i even thought about this scene completely differently a couple months back but ANYWAYS-)

honestly, the way el comforts max in this scene...... feels kinda motherly. there's definitely something to be said about how el's not always treated as just a child - despite still learning speech, she's still been forced to grow up in other aspects of herself, and she constantly puts herself in a position to protect others. but this scene w el and max is sweet, and it's nice that max has el for that moment before el eventually moves away w the byers.

and ofc, el loses hopper this season, which in her mind leaves her parentless. joyce is there regardless (tho joyce taking over for hopper and watching over el does kinda happen in a "no explanation needed" kinda way, and i'm not really sure how i feel about that).

joyce and el have still quite a ways to go before really developing the mother-daughter relationship that feels inevitable at this point. and after hopper's death, the way this season ended, and the way joyce and el interact, there's a bit of uncertainty as to how their relationship will develop. even after the 3 month jump, they come off as rather distant from each other.

nut yeah, i'm excited for st4. after engaging in all the ship wars, and having my own gripes w how the duffers write romance, i think i'm starting to fall back in love w this show. writing this has definitely made me feel happier about the show, and made me feel excited about certain aspects of the show that might've been in the back of my mind, but now it's all at the forefront.

i really do love el as a character, and joyce might be a very close second, if not at the same level as el. their stories have been leading towards each other since the beginning and i can't wait until we get the payoff.

i hope someone reads this lol. again i’m sorry this took months......... depression uh anon, i hope this is what you wanted 😂 and if anyone feels compelled to add on feel free to do so 😊………. hopefully it's positive lol

#hopefully this ends up in the tags bc wow this is long and i wanna know other peoples thoughts!!#stranger things #st meta #el hopper #joyce byers #kali #op tag #anonymous

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chattegeorgiana · 3 years

Note

You keep insisting that the ending Naruto pairings are the reason Boruto's sales are nowhere near as great as Naruto's, yet how come Boruto Naruto the Movie has brought in far more income than both RTN and The last combined? The Boruto Movie has gained almost 40.000.000$ while The Last only 20.000.000$ and RTN only around 17.000.000$. The reasons boruto is not as popular as naruto was is because the plot sucks, the anime has too many garbage fillers, the artstyle in the manga sucks, the new gen characters suck, and the manga wasn't even written by Kishimoto until recently. It has nothing to do with pairings. Hell, if NS became canon, people would've hated it even more, considering how hated Sakura was, and you even admitted she is the most hated character. And you also contradict yourself. First you say she's the most hated, then you say SP missed a marketing opportunity with her... like girl make up your mind? She's the most hated character in the franchize, in a poll she was chosen as the most hated by both male and female, even Kishimoto went out of his way to say girls came at him and said how much they despised Sakura, most people don't give a shit about her, using her as marketing strategy would've done more harm than good. She's even more hated in Japan and other Asian fandoms than she is in the western fandom, and that already says a lot! You're really arrogant to assume that the "silent majority" you speak of are all NaruSaku fans. I guarantee you it isn't. In fact, most people don't even care about ships that much. NaruSakus, you along with the SNS fans, SS fans, NH fans are part of the vocal minority that has nothing better to do than bitch about ships all day long.

But did I ever say that they were THE ONLY reason they are bad? They are an integral part of it yes, but not the only one.

Just because you saw some asks of mine here on Tumblr, you just throw these things around, like this is the only place I talk about the story of Naruto and this is the only aspect I do.

Yes, here on Tumblr I might do it through the virtue of the asks I receive, but that doesn't mean it's the only space I address these matters.

I have other social media channels as well where I discuss other aspects as well. Ya know, how like Boruto is nothing more than a tweaked "cooler" wanna-be version of Naruto, with no real substance whatsoever, a story that doesn't truly leaves a message behind, a morale, with characters that are the shells of their former selves or mechanics that are skewed and "free of" any logic.

But sure, make it as if that's the only aspect I talk about if that makes you sleep well at night.

As for the reason Boruto made so much? Well, I'll tell you why: because it had NaruSasu. Because they knew they messed-up with The Last, so they did the next best thing they could to try and keep the fanbase engaged.

Focused on the biggest portion of the fanbase that gathered around both shippers and non shippers by the virtue of focusing on Sasuke and Naruto and their offsprings. You know why? Because this way they catered to two human emotions: familiarity/comfort & curiosity.

Aka familiarity via having NaruSasu and curiosity to see the new gen kids.

Which yes, had momentum and seemed to have a perfect recipe: no focus on the ships that initially brought he whole mess (Sakura and Hinata were close to non-existent in that movie), and "repaying" the fanbase that was initially pissed at the fact that people thought this was gonna be a T7 movie because of the heavy Kakashi and Ssuke advertisement when they were there to be found for onlyyy few seconds, lol.

But you see, in the test of time, Boruto failed because of the aforementioned reasons.

You say that people would've hated the ending if NS would've been canon, yet curiously enough the number of people that are even non shippers and agree to the idea that NS should've been canon has been increasing over the years. Which in a really curious way was surprising to me too as an NS fan that returned to the fandom after so long.

So you see, I am not sure exactly about that aspect there. Not to mention, since when does a story has to do what the fanbase dictates it? The story should follow its course and intended narration and that's that.

Yes, Sakura was hated, but that's not a reason to not have Naruto end-up with her because within the story mechanics we had many proofs that indicated that they should've ended together, regardless of how people felt about them.

Kishimoto didn't say girls came at him, he said girls sent him letters, which are two different things, because to his face no one truly said that, minus the editors who kept pushing Hinata forward and their bias as well.

Lol at you saying that using her as a marketing strategy would've done more harm than good when she's the only female character being marketed right now via figurines and all those other things.

So reality seems to be contradicting you a bit on that side.

Not to mention, you say that she's the most hated even in Asia and Japan? LOL, where did u even take out these lies?

The hate phenomena has always been a western fandom thing, not an Asian/Eastern fandom one.

You say that the pairings ripped with Sasuke and Naruto as well (funny how NaruSaku isn't dead even after years of being supposedly dead tho), for a character that should've been hated??

This whole hate thing was always a western fandom mirage, sadly, but in Japan and Asia she's always been loved. Like where did u even pull out that information from?

Also what I always said about a NaruSaku ending was that they could've taken a RTN route where they could've had ALL the pairings shown within a parallel universe, but sure, nice way to twist my words and make it like "I can't decide".

There are slight nuance differences which you either purposely not address or you don't know how to do the difference. The truth in this case only you know it.

But stop trying to act that high and mighty coming here on anon making it seem like ooh, I contradict myself and spread nonsense, just because you read a faction of all the ideas I discuss over my social media.

And now to address the silent majority argument. I never said silent majority are ONLY NaruSaku fans. That's what you assumed. Silent majority included NaruSaku fans yes, but also other fans who ya know, have some common sense within them and see how the story has been butchered for the sake of poorly treating a certain aspect of Naruto, which was the romantic one.

Which btw, you say that it wasn't a big deal, yet it was the no. plot included within the story, being presented as early as chapter 3, because chapter 1 and 2 revolved around Naruto wanting to become Hokage for people to acknowledge him and create bonds.

You say that the pairings aren't such a big deal in the fandom, yet guess what, SJ and SP directed a movie on that specific subject. Makes you wonder why now, doesn't it?

And it's a normal aspect to care about if you think about it for a manga that has been focused on BONDS. The romantic plot gets weaved in within the one about bonds really easily, because at the core of it it's about relationships.

And this whole world that we live it it's a relationship: between the body and the spirit, between then heaven and the earth, between friends, between relatives. EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD HAS A RELATIONSHIP BASIS: atom interacts with atom and here we are, living, breathing beings.

But sure, come to me and paint me in this way you're trying as if talking about relationships and their quality is a bad thing.

Mhmm.

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

You're free to have your opinion, sure.

I just happen to not agree with it.

And that's that.

Have a good day or night or whatever.

#anti-boruto #narusaku #narusasu #relationships #shipping #naruto

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ystk-archive · 3 years

Photo

First of all, big apologies to the six people above who asked me about this song over a month ago when it came out. I understand what Nakata meant when he said he only knows a song is finished when he hits his deadline – I could’ve easily let this sit another week and came back and messed with it more lmao.

If you want the short and simple of it: it’s nice, with all that piano it’s sort of reminiscent of jelly (aside from the WOF thing which I’ll, uh, get into below), it’s great to see Toshiko in one of their MVs again (and Nakata directing which hasn’t happened since ’07) though I’m not wild about the video per se. I guess in a broad sense I would say I like it, it’s a return to form for him and infinitely more enjoyable than anything he’s done with his “officially solo” material, but I could also fully understand if someone thought it was boring.

For my actual thoughts on it...

Hikari no Disco (ひかりのディスコ; Light Disco) as a whole package is sort of unusually mired in nostalgia. It’s got all that densely layered, classic style Nakata’s best known for which has been largely absent from his other projects over the past six years of CAPSULE (god I still don’t like the all-uppercase stylization) being in live-shows-only mode. As a piece of music it has an endearing sense of comfort and awe; it amuses the listener with odd little vocal modulations (my favorite is at 2:02), pointed percussive moments, and a strong piano backbone that work in tandem to give it character and charm. It even eschews the club-ready rinse-and-repeat of Nakata’s past compositions for capsule in favor of something very traditionally pop: an actual, proper break right before the song’s climax. Maybe it’s not a stretch to say all the tiny flourishes and embellishments in Hikari are a pure reflection of Nakata finally finding some kind of reason to go back to capsule – the overly bombastic (and loud) way the track opens feels like a curtain unveiling, like somebody pointing to capsule and going “hey, look at this!”

Though there is a bit of an elephant in the room here and that would be the recurrence of the motif from WORLD OF FANTASY (the repeating pattern of twelve-ish notes) which defined that track ten years ago. For the person who mentioned him recycling material, he did say in his Real Sound interview that he deliberately sampled it, but despite my agreeing with him in that it’s a good motif I have a few issues with its reappearance in Hikari. It’s such a specific and memorable facet of a previous track in their discography that its inclusion here feels like a sister song has been created rather than an entirely new work. Not only that, but Nakata went one step further with this callback and basically reimagined the entire music video for WOF as well. He’s definitely not a stranger to self-reference within his music but it normally seems to occur under incidental circumstances, and since historically capsule isn’t a music unit that does a lot of looking back, it comes across strangely for longtime listeners. Nostalgia and sampling oneself aren’t inherently bad, the problem here is that it doesn’t do enough to transform its inspiration point into a solidly new work. I spend both the song and music video just thinking about WORLD OF FANTASY and comparing the two in my mind.

Which, speaking of new works, you probably don’t need me to tell you this brings absolutely nothing new to the table for Nakata’s standard. I’m mixed on whether or not I could call this a detraction, because on one hand I’ve believed for years that he could stand to break out of his comfort zone musically and really try wholly different things (CAPS LOCK is an example), but on the other hand I recognize that capsule’s first new track in six years may not be the place to expect that. I think my concerns right now are for an album that’ll be too self-referential and maybe too focused on being something people remember liking from over a decade ago. (I mean, even their new artist photo is a goofy MORE! MORE! MORE! reference. Love the gloves, though.)

Lyrically Hikari is even more nostalgic, verging on the same type of sweetness present in past capsule songs like FRUITS CLiPPER’s dreamin dreamin and FLASH BACK’s Eternity. I often find myself fixating on the line “この身体にまだ / 慣れてないけど” (“Though I’m still not used to this body”); it strikes me as a strange thing to say in a song that’s otherwise teeming with sentimentality and familiar words (disco, stars, sparkling, landing, lights). Is the speaker meant to be an alien that got turned into a human? Are they now a 41-year-old grappling with age? Am I reading into things here? To answer the person who asked what the song “means,” it’s really up to your interpretation and how you relate to it. For me it’s a song about the lights of the city at dusk, the lights of the club and, just maybe, the lights inside all of our hearts. (That was awful. I’m kidding.)

The music video is an anomaly in that it is apparently Nakata’s return to the director’s seat after a fourteen-year absence from helming this aspect of capsule. While video direction isn’t exactly his forté, nor has it ever seemed like a passion of his, I’ve always enjoyed the outside-the-box approach that yielded visual works like Retro Memory’s stylish, static angle lounge singer concept and Glider’s quirky portrayal of the afterlife, or something. Despite what I said earlier, Hikari is equally helped by the immediate parallel the viewer will draw between it and the music video for WORLD OF FANTASY – it’s almost as if (note: he did not say this! I’m speculating!) Nakata revisited WOF and felt dissatisfied by director Tani Atsushi’s “night drive through Tokyo but make it Blade Runner on a budget.” As someone who never particularly cared for that MV, I have to praise what Hikari does differently with the same basic premise. Here, Toshiko is shown through a neutral lens that chooses not to highlight her body as she gets into a Honda Prelude, an older car almost utterly devoid of the cool points earned by WOF’s Lamborghini. The core of Hikari’s intrigue is in anachronism: the car is from the 1980s, but the road Toshiko is driving on didn’t exist at that time, so when does the music video take place? They carefully include a shot of Tokyo Tower, a symbol of pre-2010s Tokyo, and exclude the much newer Skytree. There’s also the appearance of the cassette tape from which the single’s cover art and central nostalgic ethos are derived. Where WOF followed expectations of an ultra-sleek futuristic cityscape, Hikari is subversive in only the way something with Nakata’s direct involvement could be. It does it all with an unsteadily amateurish camera, a fixation on the unfocused glittering lights of the city, and an intense 3D-effect filter that brings to mind Sugarless GiRL, his last directorial work.

Though as charmingly set up as Hikari is, the video – and Toshiko – ultimately go nowhere. Not that capsule’s music videos were ever particularly story-driven (the animated sci-fi trilogy notwithstanding), nor do they need to be, but there’s a one-note sameness that permeates Hikari and leaves me wanting more. This is especially glaring in the way the video ends with in-car audio and prolonged silence, suggesting something is about to happen, but nothing does. As the music itself ended I found myself desperately hoping for a visual conclusion to go with it: maybe she’d answer a phone call, or arrive at her destination and get out, but the MV just sort of...stops. Legend has it she’s still driving to this day.

Overall the music video does its job better than any other capsule MV between 2010 and now, and the musical nostalgia here is a fun diversion even if it isn’t exactly introducing new ideas. I’m presently just confused about the status of the album (and whether something as jarringly old-school as Utsusemi will get tacked on there) but capsule’s not really followed consistent scheduling since they moved to Warner/ASOBISYSTEM. Maybe next time they drop something I’ll be more conscientious of the timing of answering questions about it though, lol.

#messages #capsule #Hikari no Disco #i really wrote ~1000 words about this...#and i didn't even say everything i could've said #oh well

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aotopmha · 3 years

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The extra pages for chapter 139 seem to be pretty much finally out!

And they're a bunch panels relying on visual storytelling which need to be put in context by the reader/you need to maybe think about it for 10 seconds instead of 2, something I've learned the internet does not like in storytelling. (Or in general, considering how much misinformation is out there.)

I think Kunihiko Ikuhara's works were my first exposure to this element of the internet in full force; they're some of the lowest-rated stories in some of the typical websites where anime is discussed and they're all mostly very reliant on metaphor and visual storytelling.

I've seen 12 episodes of Revolutionary Girl Utena and a little bit of Yurikuma Arashi and I think you really need to completely engage with those stories to get what is going on. Almost all of the dialog in those stories seems to matter and to need as much of the context as possible to understand.

And to me a story which asks you to engage and put things together for yourself is what I look for in art and I think is art.

The reason why I have yet to go back to those stories is because they are so very dense and you really just need to be in a certain mindset to watch them.

AoT Chapter 122 and now these new pages are 100% visual storytelling.

AoT Chapter 122 in particular is still one of my favourite manga chapters ever because of how it portrayed a character's perspective with very limited dialog.

The thing with AoT is that I think these moments of visual storytelling are like a less dense and complex version of Ikuhara's storytelling, but they have the same elements.

A lot of context-dependent information in relatively few panels is in 122 and 139, that's why I think people get the sense the story is excusing Eren, for example.

Most of those complaints I've felt are very bad faith, but if I believe in the good and intelligence of humanity for once, maybe it really is that awkward prose that confuses and offends people, not the desire to be morally superior over a comic.

In that sense I think people read the words "thank you" Armin says to Eren and nothing else around it or just find the phrasing to be strange.

They don't go to reread the previous chapter or arc just in case they might've missed something.

Months/years-long breaks between material also assist in not really considering anything else but that one chapter in that one month.

And it just so happens art is also a very individual emotional experience, so "monkey brain" just fully kicks in, too.

To me if you think about it, what the story is saying is pretty obvious the moment Eren became the antagonist. This shift happened in Marley, 40 chapters or so ago.

But this is just what *my* mind leads me to and makes connections with based on the information I have absorbed from the story.

And it's not just that, too. I make connections to what the story was trying to do with Reiner, Kenny, Bert, Erwin or Annie because they were also serial killers/murderers the story took effort in humanising.

The importance of individual perspective and what these characters individually think and how they view themselves seems to be one of the most important aspects of the story.

Because ultimately one of the most important thematic threads of the story seems to be understanding different perspectives.

So why is Eren any different than all of the other mass murderers in the cast?

Because all of the big murderers in the cast get empathy and moments where characters try to understand them, no?

To actually address the pages, here's the general points and my thoughts:

-The whole deal with Mikasa and OG Ymir is that I think Mikasa tries to again, find the good in OG Ymir's suffering.

Her having her children lead to the lives of many people, including hers to be born and Mikasa thanks her for that.

This is a parallel to Eren, whose actions at least gave his friends their lives back. This also ties into Armin's point in chapter 137 about living life for those good moments and Mikasa's promise in chapter 138 to remember Eren for all of the good he did for her.

-Mikasa having a family with probably Jean (which is probably implied with the small scene on the boat) is such a minor thing that I just find hard to care about it at all. The focus on Mikasa really wasn't with it the point to emphasize how she now has kids.

And Mikasa and Historia are still the only characters we see get kids. There really actually isn't anything with anyone else (the spoiler about Armin and Annie doesn't seem to be real at all).

-People visiting the tree is a much more limited panel than the initial leaked images lead on. It's not a tourist attraction, it's something I think the families of Eren's friends ended up visiting. So this also gives it a much more "selfish" vibe.

-Armin's talk with Eren and the scene on the boat with Pieck now gets some pretty nice additional context (makes sense considering Isayama considered it one of the bits to be clumsy himself) because of the panels of Paradis at war in the future.

Those panels don't necessarily say Paradis was completely destroyed by war (we see the black-haired kid), but the alternatives also make the same point: Eren's methods didn't really bring peace.

It sort of gives the promise Armin made to Eren and his words on the boat a more sadder tinge.

Armin tried so hard to make something good out of the mess Eren left everyone. He tried hard for diplomacy to triumph, but war still happened because that's how humanity works.

There's also the layer of violence begetting violence and extremism also hurting your own people. The Jaegerist movement Eren ended up creating probably caused this war on Paradis. I think that's the implied thing with Historia's speech.

The final layer to Eren's actions is the giant Titan tree that literally grew out of his grave: what he did just lead to more cycles and the whole mess might just start again.

But we don't really actually see that happen. It's only a possibility.

Will the kid go in there to get the power and save his people from misery or will he consider the past?

We don't know. It all depends on what he knows of the past and this tree, how his parents presented the past to him, how the world shaped his perspective and yes, also his nature, too.

But the point is, Eren's actions had some good, but mostly bad consequences.

Puts Annie's and Pieck's comments in a stronger perspective, too.

I still maintain this ending is good. Not my favourite material from AoT, but good.

And I'll repeat what I said before that repeating the story's point in more concrete ways gives satisfaction in its own right.

#Attack on Titan #Shingeki no Kyojin #AoT 139 #SnK 139 #AoT #SnK #Eren #Eren Jaeger #Eren Yeager #Mikasa #Mikasa Ackermann

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cesca-untoldstories · 2 years

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Star again... I'm very happy that you answered😊 thank you very much! It makes me very happy, and like I'm talking to a famous person😂 But really, my case is a little different so I feel insecure, but I've had my main character for a long time, like, years, I can't let go of it. and jjba's adventures fit neatly into the white and once inexplicable spaces of my story. But what did I mean about not knowing where to start, and because I'm such a perfectionist, and because of that I end up thinking too much and getting anxious, ending up not knowing where to start, if you can tell me a little bit how you started I will be super happy!

And I forgot to say... You're the best Fran, thank you so much for helping me🥰🥰💞💕

I'll stop bugging you now

Heyo little Star-!

Hahah thank you for considering me a famous person! actually I'm just a little mess with big things in mind but procrastination hit a way to hard this days, but thank you so much for coming to me asking me my point of view and my little advices ;w; <3 I really enjoy it!

about the perfectionist part, I totally understand that is like that guy with lot of photos pin in the wall like "OK WHERE DO WE START?" but I like to see it more like a shoe lace, even if the knot is big and pushy there is always a tip that helps you untangle it.

if you don't know where to start try thinking, ok I'm in an elevator with Araki himself, you want to show him all your story ofc but you know the elevator is only 2 minutes to the floor. in two minutes you need to tell all the important events and show him this story is worth it for him.

¿what words would to tell to him in two minutes about your whole story?

In my case, I would be like "Mr. Araki I created a personal character that is envolved in 1988's trip with crusaders, she is the rival of the protagonist and she got many untold secrets which will lead to explain later events in the following arcs"

you indeed got a lot to tell, but the way of approaching to someone and telling in less than two minutes your story as a summary and not even telling names. you can tell me "is a parallel story of Jojo's bizarre adventures that joins in the arcs because ...." and this automatically will make me ask: who's story? when? where? how? why?

we all have a lot to unfold, and the best way to explain your head is to think "how would I sell this story to this famous creator in order to tell me *you know what? I will buy your story*" and that's the beginning of a complete development of many many ways to tell things, to be honest to this date I still working on 'cesca's back story, everyday I take something out and add something better.

but is for the sake of...my own development. my own growth. and I know, you will have your own growth too, just never stop talking about it... and as an advice, talk with with people that doesn't even know about the serie at all. sometimes with friends I'm like "so this story about a girl went missing on egypt" and they don't even know I'm talking about jojos canonically or just my ocs ^^!

you have a way to go but never stop thinking and talking about it!

and thank you once again for your kind words for me ;w; <3 don't make me blushy hahah! hope my advice can help you in a near future! good luuck!

#mun fran talking #character development #oc creation

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zeta-in-de-walls · 3 years

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Themes in the Dream SMP

Hey guys, I’m kind of into analysis. I tend to like examining character motivations and why they take certain actions rather than speculating on lore and theories. Heh but right now the fandom is flooded with egg speculation. I am very curious about the egg and where the story might lead though! So I thought I’d look at it in terms of themes the story might end up exploring.

Themes are certain ideas/concept that keeping coming up in a work and get explored. Good themes can be traced from the very start of a work and carry on through to the end - they’re like threads that run through a work. Strong themes can help a story to feel more coherent and satisfying with the way they can tie a work together. Now the Dream SMP may be a bit of an improv roleplaying server but somehow a few themes can end up cropping up anyway.

What themes are there in the Dream SMP?

Here’s a few I identified, I guess they are topics that interest me? Also certain POVs may have different themes. I don’t watch Fundy myself but I’m pretty sure his viewpoint has some strong themes that are rather unique to his story. Certain arcs may have very strong themes as well which aren’t explored over the narrative as a whole.

-Power/control. A very common theme in stories. What drives many characters is to seek out power, either to have control over their own lives, or over others. The leadership of L’manburg was hugely important in S1. And now many individuals are hungry for power especially the powerless who have been pushed around by others for so long.

-Corruption. Linked to the above. Often when seeking power, people can become corrupted by it and their ability to control others with it. Dream is an excellent example. Wilbur as well. Technoblade believed corruption was inevitable and that any concentrated power was bad. But is it inevitable? Or were the systems just a little flawed? Is a way to handle power sensibly?

-Words over violence. More of a S1 theme but I’d love to see it explored more. L’Manburg most notable was not wearing armour because they believed in fighting battles with their words, not violence. Technoblade challenged this, believing violence is the only way to be really understood.

-Attachment. This is a very strong theme, one really ties the whole story together well. It’s most explored in the Tommy vs Dream conflict but it’s also noted that every character get attached to things and that’s what so often drives conflict. Yet these attachment can also inspire and unite people. Dream sees attachments as a way to control others. Attachments are both a strength and a weakness.

-Complacency/Neutrality The server is marked by many wars but in every conflict there are those who stay on the sides. Those people may see this as a strength but those who stay neutral are most in danger of being forgotten. Likewise, staying neutral may be allowing disaster to happen. In Doomsday one striking thing was how many people stood on the sidelines. L’Manburg was not merely destroyed, but abandoned. And now with the egg, it’s been in the background for a long time and it’s been overlooked. Now people are finally paying attention but is it already too late?

-Seeking Peace. After all the conflict on the server, many character long for a lasting peace. Both Tubbo and Tommy just want to have a quiet life, with Tommy staying independent and working on his little project while Tubbo builds Snowchester as a safe haven with nukes to discourage any who wish to challenge his peace. Dream also had his vision for a peaceful server by way of him attaining absolute control over everyone, crushing any sort of defiance. And now the egg, it means to take over the world and in doing so will try to unite everyone under its control. The people will lose their free will but it may mean an end to conflict too.

-Choosing People over sides. An interesting yet messy theme which became prominent with S2. When two people are in conflict is it possible to help both? Or are you inevitably choosing a side? Or is this just another impossible view of utopia where everyone is united under the same side, (like Dream envisioned) and there is no need for any conflict?

-Revenge/Forgiveness. When someone hurts you, can you reconcile or should you seek retribution? Once you suffer a betrayal is that relationship broken or can it be fixed? Does you own pain justify hurting others? What is too far? What is justice? Probably not the most consistent theme but I really like the few times when this topic does get explored.

-----

So, those are a few concepts that stick out to me about the Dream SMP. There’s probably more (like I was kinda thinking on one about history repeating itself/destiny or something about becoming what you hate maybe) also yeah, themes are probably not necessarily consciously thought of by the writers but that doesn’t mean they don’t end up trying to fulfil the themes and ideas that their story has started exploring.

SO that said, i think it’d be very cool if the egg arc really starts to challenge some of these themes. What’s interesting was how Bad, I believe, chose the egg because it had Skeppy and he wantd to be with his best friend. I wonder if perhaps therefore the egg will continue to use people’s desires to control them.

It creates an interesting parallel with Dream, trying to get people attached so he could control them. I wonder if Dream has any connection to the egg. It was discovered a long time ago now, during the Pogtopia arc I believe(?) and maybe that reflects Dream’s descent into villainy when he began to stop caring for his friends. and the eggs been so much more present this season as Dream’s also become increasingly detached. Maybe it means nothing. Either way it’s interesting how love and attachment may be used against the characters again in this fight against the egg. And whether love and trust in others might be a way to defeat it?

I also found something poetic about how they placed vines within L’Manburg’s crater and its one of the places its growing very vigorously. It was once a place with so many memories and with so much meaning and in its place we have the egg.

As I alluded to above, if the egg were to consume everything, there would be no more sides, no more conflict, everyone would be united in one ‘big, happy, family’ and there would be peace. Yet it’s like a warped vision of their beloved SMP. It’s peace, yes, but not the kind of peace anyone wants. The egg is terrifying.

And its spreading and it’s going to affect everyone. (And if they can’t be infected they will be killed.) So the time for neutrality must end! The people couldn’t band together to save L’Manburg because they’d lost faith in it, but it’s not too late to save the SMP if everyone were to band together and fight for the server they all love. Many of them did it once to imprison Dream. To do this, they might have to put old grudges aside, but it can be done.

As to why it affects people differently, I think we’ll be given an explanation. I’d be intrigued if it was to do with attachment or maybe something about power and corruption. (Metawise I’m pretty sure Tommy was unaffected because it woud seriously muddle his character to have a supernatural force messing with his head when his story had been a somewhat realistic depiction of manipulation and you do not want those two to mix and harm the impact of the exile arc.) But yeah, not sure what the reason is right now, but I figure they have one in mind already.

I’m liking this Egg arc. It seems like its been really well-planned and set up so I’m looking forward to seeing it all realised as I bet they have some great plans ahead and they potential for it to fit in with the existing themes would be amazing and again help the SMP as a whole to feel really satisfying and cohesive. If it wants to be wildly different of course, that can be great too, but everything seems very cool. Do love how it involves a huge cast of characters too - it’s very ambitious!

#dream smp #meta #analysis #heh this is how i like to analyse media #fun that it can be done even in new media #there's a lot of love that goes into the smp and it shows #long post #bloodvines arc #the disc war

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poisonedlovedarling · 3 years

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Milo Murphy’s Law Theory

Okay I’m sure somewhere out there someone has had a theory like this. However! I just wanted to put it down in my own words, mostly to get it out of my head.

In a short, my theory is that Balthazar Cavendish and his lovely partner Vinnie Dakota, (If not the entire time traveling agency) are the reason Milos family are cursed with Murphy's law.

Evidence! I hear you cry into the void, yes. Well the best I can offer you is theoretical science. (I hear you complaining in the background well you don’t have to listen...lol.)

Theoretical Science time!

According to the laws of time travel, you might know this one. You go back in time and step on a butterfly and next thing you know all of humanity has never been born. Now the problem with this is that there are many theories saying that if you change time you can erase yourself from existence. However if you did that you then couldn’t have gone back in time and changed things in the first place. Causing a Paradox. Or less commonly known as Circular causation, you can’t change the past if you don’t exist

Now on the other hand, there is a theory that you can change history causing yourself to never having been born but still existing to be the one to go back in time and change that point in history. Basically if you change a point in time you’re not changing your version of time but instead creating an alternate time line that runs parallel to your own. The future you return to you may not have been born but can still exist because you are from a timeline where you were born and are just riding the waves through a new timeline. Basically visiting an alternate earth where the history was change and you never existed.

There's a ton more like this, such as self fulfilling prophecy, you couldn’t change time because what happened. Happened and you were suppose to do what you did anyways.

Basically Time travel’s a messy.

However by changing history, you can cause unknown havoc. Example (though not proven by science) you drop a rock in the ocean in California. The ripples that the rock causes become bigger and more dangerous eventually reaching Japan not as ripples but as tidal waves. Causing havoc.

(For examples look at Futurama, Rick and Morty, or The Flash.)

Now if you are still reading theirs another time travel theory this one actually relating to my idea. This time theory states that if you do change history the time line will try to fix itself to change around it. Something small like stepping on a butterfly that was suppose to pollenate some flowers. It will make another bug or even wind do it instead, no big deal. Yet, if you do something big like prevent the death of a President. The timeline will have them die another time, car ride home heart attack. It will change history but not by much and is a lot harder for the timeline to fix. Sometimes that little rock becomes a tidal wave that hits but doesn’t kill who wasn’t already meant to die.

A lot of time this will effect those closest or those related to the target. Which Theory Time! Loops me back to Cavendish and Dakota. The time travelers who don’t follow the rules of time travel. My theory is the Milos families curse is because the timeline is trying to fix itself.

In the episode ‘The Island of Lost Dakotas’ (Spoilers ahead) we learn that one of our favorite characters Cavendish has ‘died’ many times over. Each time Dakota has gone back in time and changed the outcome. Saving his friend and then his past self goes on a trip to a lost island where versions of himself are making shoes and watching film of his travels with his friend.

Now one or twice the timeline would just change how Cavendish dies, but Dakota keeps changing it. Which means that the timeline can’t fix itself the easy way. Instead the pebble Dakota keeps dropping is rippling back in time.

If we follow this theory this means that either Cavendish or Dakota are related to the Murphy's. Great great ex. grandchild of Milo Murphy. Now based off the show it sounds as if the curse only effects the males of said family and follows the name not the people of the family. Which means that one of Milos kids finally change their last name perhaps in an effort to end the curse only to give birth to the curser or just another Murphy with a different last name.

Well other than them not sharing the Murphy name, one of them could still be a Murphy.

Dakota is a popular choice, the bad things happen around him and though he doesn’t look much like Murphy’s family being a great something descendant he could still be. Especially with Milos love interest looking more like Dakota, and we can expect Milo and Amanda end up together in the end. Also we can see that in Milos experience the Murphy law effects the people around him equally if not more than it does the Murphy's themselves. So if Dakota is a descendant his curse would effect Cavendish as much if not more than it effect himself.

Now the best bet under this thought is that it’s Cavendish whos related to Milo. Between the two Cavendish looks more like Milo having the family hair trait. As well as the same body type as Milos father and Great ex. grandfather the original Murphy. Body types of all the characters at first look fairly similar but things from their noses to face shapes and body types tend to stay accurate within families. This means that through his family ties all the bad things that ‘kill’ him ripple back and instead effect his family.

Cavendish’s deaths over and over again would effect the timeline. It would try fixing itself, effecting every last member of Cavendishs family. The epicenter being Milos ancestor the original Murphy in his own time travel version of the Bermuda triangle. Creating the Murphy law that the timeline needed to exist anyways. Now since the time line can’t kill any of the past Murphy's it also explains why the Murphy’s are so good at escaping deadly situations. The timeline can’t kill them but it sure can mess with them.

Now if neither of them are related to Murphy then it just means that there relationship with Milos family, Dr.D. (Spoiler- Professor Time), and the time agency. All the things they change through out time made a time Bermuda triangle where the OG Murphy lived. These negative probability particles in that triangle could potentially be causing his family to be effected by it until those particles eventually run out if they run out.

Now this theory is lengthy and all over the place. So here’s the long and the short of it.

Cavendish or Dakota or even the time agency itself. Are the reason Milo and his family are cursed with Murphy’s law. By changing time they cause havoc which is centered around the Murphy family, because of their personal if not family related relationships with Time agency.

You don’t have to believe me honestly I just needed to write this down to get it out of my head. I’ve got many more theories about other tv shows, that might or might not be coming your way.

#milo murphy's law #balthazar cavendish #vinnie dakota #mml theory #mml spoilers #long post

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