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luxaofhesperides · 1 month

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I'm not sure if you're still taking Ghostlights requests, but if you are: Dick asking Duke to take Haley to the dog park for him in order to set up a meet-cute for him with the guy with the weird green rottweiler

And if you aren't, just know that you're doing great and I appreciate the hell out of you

“Oh, shoot!”

Hearing Dick rush around as a frantic mess is not uncommon while he’s in Gotham. There’s too many people wanting to spend time with him that he ends up pulled in a bunch of different directions. Dick’s always in a rush, always busy, always making time for people because he has more love than Duke has ever seen in a person.

Dick’s also got pretty good time management skills after years of doing this. He’s only cutting out a few minutes early for their designated three hour catch-up session.

That doesn’t mean he’s going to do it gracefully, though.

“Almost lost track of the time!” he says, moving to the couch to pick up his jacket. “Hey, Duke, can do you me a favor while I’m out?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can you take Haley to the dog park? I usually take her twice a week around this time, but I totally forgot to include that in my calendar this week so I’ve got plans with the Titans just outside the city, and no time to take her out.”

“Yeah, man, of course I can take her to the dog park. The one attached to Robinson Park, right?”

Dick nods, shoving his shoes onto his feet. “That’s the one! Her treats are also in the bag hanging next to her leash. Oh, and she has a friend at the dog park! Don’t be scared when you see him, he’s just green.”

“Oh…kay?”

“Great, thanks! Bye, Duke, I’ll see you later!”

And with that, Dick is gone, closing the door to his safehouse as he dashes into the hall.

Duke is left alone in Dick’s Gotham safehouse, blinking dazedly at the empty space where he once was. He’s certainly a whirlwind of activity when he realizes he’s going to be late. He’s also skilled in just saying things and leaving before any questions can be answered.

Haly jumps up onto the couch next to Duke. They share a look, then Duke shakes his head. “You have to deal with that every day, huh?”

Haly, the good girl that she is, doesn’t say anything bad against her owner and just puts a paw on Duke’s thigh, her tail wagging.

“I hear ya, girl. Let’s go to the dog park to meet your green friend, I guess.”

He has no idea what that means, honestly. Is Dick just talking about a dog that got its fur dyed green? Or is Haly’s friend like… a mutant dog?

Well, he’s not going to find out by stalling.

Duke pets Haly, then stands up and walks to the door. Her head perks up as soon as she hears the jangle of her leash being moved, and then she’s running to the door, looking up at him expectantly. Smiling, Duke slips the harness onto her, then attached it to the leash. He gives her another quick pet before shoving on his shoes and grabbing her bag of treats and waste disposal bags.

He double checks that he has his phone, then takes hold of Dick’s spare safehouse key and steps out into the hallway with Haly. She waits patiently as he locks the door, checks that the lock holds, then runs down the hallway, ripping the leash right out of his hands.

“Haly! Wait! Stop, girl!”

She happily ignores him and goes straight for the elevator, leaving him to run after her and quickly scoop up the leash as soon as he’s close enough.

“Of course you’re a little escape artists,” he says to her, “Just like your owner.”

Haly woofs softly, then stands up and scratches at the doors of the elevator. Shaking his head, amused, Duke pushes the button to call the elevator and wonders if Dick has to deal with this every time they go to the dog park.

On one hand, it wouldn’t surprise him since Dick is absolutely the kind of guy to give in to his dog’s every whims and spoil her rotten. On the other hand, Duke fully believes that Haly is smart enough and cute enough to misbehave only when Dick isn’t around so he never believes people when they try to tell him about all the mischief she’s caused.

Dogs and their owners really do reflect one another. The internet was right about that.

Duke makes sure to keep a tight grip on Haly’s leash once they leave the apartment building. The streets are busy, as they tend to be on weekends, and the sight of Haly straining against her leash, ready to run, brings a smile to more than one face.

He plots the route to the dog park in his mind, then starts up a light jog, tugging lightly on the leash to prompt Haly to follow him.

It’s nice to run just for the sake of it. Haly makes a good running partner as well.

How long has it been since Duke had time to relax and not be prepared for the worst? All the running he usually does these days is to catch up with criminals or run for his life. Being out during the day, moving through the city, without any lives in danger? Genuinely nice and relaxing.

Maybe he can offer to take Haly to the dog park from now on. Join Dick whenever he goes. Create a set few hours where he doesn’t do anything but enjoy being outside in one of the few places where the smog of pollution and chemical toxins isn’t so thick in the air.

He’ll just have to make sure Dick doesn’t agree to something else during those days. It’s still strange to think that Dick could forget to do something involving Haly when he’s such a good dog owner and a pro at juggling various responsibilities and a busy schedule.

Well, they all have off days. This must be one of Dick’s.

The sidewalks get wider once they reach the street that leads to the park. Families fill up the space, walking with strollers in front of them or lined up at a food cart. The vivid green of spring fills the grassy fields that lead to the large patches of trees, marking the edge of Poison Ivy’s territory. Clovers decorate the ground, bees moving from flower to flower.

There are other dogs on walks as well, making circuits around the park or running after toys. Duke spots a cat in a walking harness as well and wonders if he can convince Damian to get one for Alfred the cat.

The dog park is on the other end of the park, as far away from Ivy’s territory as possible. The fenced off areas are separated into big dogs and small dogs, with a helpful guide as to which dogs go where posted at the entrance.

Duke slows to a walk, breathing deeply to help settle his heart rate back down to something normal. Haly walks by his side, tail wagging, as she watches the other dogs run back and forth behind the fence.

She’s still small, just growing out of puppy size, so Duke leads her into the small dog area, carefully making sure the gate doesn’t open enough for any quick dogs to make a break for it. He walks over to a bench and sits down before undoing the harness on her, setting her loose.

Haly licks his hand once, then darts away, barking lightly as she joins the other dogs tumbling around each other.

Amused, Duke leans back at watches as the other dogs sniff her, then do their funny little bowing stomps, moving back and forth before running off so she can give chase.

He figures staying for an hour will be good enough. That should get the most of her energy out, and then they can make the long trek back to Dick’s safehouse so he can pick her up before he heads back to Bludhaven. Pulling out his phone, Duke settles in to wait, keeping half his attention on Haly just in case any of the other dogs decide to get a little too rough.

The first twenty minutes pass peacefully. Haly runs around and the owners of the other dogs give her pets when she runs up to them. One even went over to Duke to offer him a pack of fruit gummies.

Then a loud bark fills the air and Duke jerks upright, watching with wide eyes as a colossally large dog, green and glowing and slightly transparent, comes barrelling down the street, headed right towards them.

He doesn’t have time to yell Haly’s name before the dog is in the fence. None of the other dog owners look alarmed, though, so he watches carefully, prepared to jump up and save Haly at a moment’s notice.

“Cujo!” someone yells from down the street. A guy with dark hair comes running up and smoothly jumps over the fence. “Cujo, how many times do I have to tell you not to run off like that?”

The green dog, apparently Cujo, barks happily.

“And you’re too big for this park right now, buddy. Shrink, boy. It’s time to be small.”

And then Cujo… obeys? The dog shrinks, and instead of being the size of a bus, it’s now small enough to be carried in someone’s arms.

Green dog is not enough warning for all of that. Dick owes him so much for this.

Actually, he’s kind of shocked that Dick never mentioned this to anyone. Surely a giant green dog would get people’s attention. Why is this the first time he’s heard about it?

“You new around here?” someone asks, and Duke turns to see the person who gave him the fruit gummies.

“Kinda? It’s my first time coming to the dog park. I’m looking after Haly, that one right over there.” He points out Haly, who is running in circles around Cujo.

“Ah, I see. Dick mentioned someone new would be coming today.”

Duke narrows his eyes. He’s starting to get the feeling that he’s been set up for something, but he’s not sure what.

“I’ll give you the spiel we tell all newcomers, in that case,” they continue. “Cujo is a ghost dog. Poor thing died during some animal testing, far as we know. Danny looks after him, since Cujo got attached to the kid years ago before he moved to Gotham. He’s a kind one, but very nervous, and we’ve all got an agreement to keep quiet about him and Cujo round this parts. You better be holding your tongue, as well, ya hear me?”

“Sure thing,” Duke nods. “My lips are sealed.”

He’ll just ask Dick about the ghost dog situation and do his own investigation if needed. But Cujo is just a dog, and his owner is just a guy. Nothing threatening, nothing requiring a Bat’s attention.

“Good,” they nod. “I’ll get out of your hair now.” They’re gone before Duke can reply, adjusting the hat on their head as they head back to their group in the back left corner of the dog park.

Satisfied that things are under control, Duke relaxes back into the bench, watching Haly and Cujo tumble around with the other dogs, barking happily. Haly’s still growing into her paws, so she trips and falls often, but gets up without a moments pause, ready to keep playing.

From the corner of his eyes, Duke catches sight of someone walking towards him.

He looks over and finds Cujo’s owner—Danny, wasn’t it?—approaching. Their eyes meet, and Danny offers him a sheepish smile and a wave. His eyes are a dark blue that seem to glow with some otherworldly light, and Duke can swear he sees something shifting around him, as if the air has turned visible and twists around his body like wisps of smoke.

“Mind if I sit with you?” Danny asks, and Duke moves to the side a bit.

“Go ahead,” he says.

“You’re Duke, right? Dick told me about you last week.”

It’s looking more and more like Dick is up to something, and Duke will need to get his revenge. “Did he? All good things, I hope.”

“Aha, yeah, all good things. Um, actually I think I should apologize? I maybe said you sounded like my type so Dick promised that he’d get you here somehow. Sorry if this is messing up your plans for the day.”

Oh. Oh!

Well. That’s interesting.

Duke quietly shelves his plans for revenge against Dick and takes a proper look at Danny. He’s shy, but with a bright smile, glowing eyes and strange smoke curling around him still, and messy black hair windswept from chasing after Cujo. There’s a flush in his cheeks and his long fingers fiddle with the string of his dark red hoodie.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t have any plans today. This is way better than just sleeping all day.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Danny laughs, “There’s nothing I like more than being able to sleep all day. That would fix me for sure.”

There’s a loud bark, and Danny’s eyes snap back to Cujo, who is growing bigger. “Cujo!” Danny yells, voice sharp. “Shrink down, or we go home.”

Cujo grumbles, whines, then goes back to being little. The green dog only has a moment to look sad before Haly is tackling him, sending them back into another chase around the park.

“Sorry about that,” Danny says, slouching against the bench.

“It’s all good,” Duke replies. “So. I’m your type, huh?”

Danny’s cheeks turn a deep, charming red. He looks away, then nods and ducks his head down.

“And that hasn’t changed after meeting me?”

Danny shakes his head, then peeks over at Duke, gaze slowly moving up his body until he meets Duke’s eyes. “Definitely hasn’t changed,” he says.

Now it’s Duke’s turn to feel his cheeks burn, flustered and pleasantly surprised by Danny’s boldness. It doesn’t help that Danny is cute, someone he can see himself falling for.

“Good,” he says, then knocks his knee against Danny’s. “I wouldn’t mind getting to know you more. On one condition.”

“Oh? And what would that be?”

“Tell me what Dick told you about me. I wanna make sure he wasn’t sharing an embarrassing stories about me. If I’m gonna make a fool of myself, then I’ll do it myself with no outside help.”

Danny’s laugh is bright and warm and sends butterflies dancing in Duke’s stomach. “Fair enough!” he says. “And you know what? I’ll trade you for embarrassing stories. Trust me, I have so many. Nothing you’ve done can be worse that the dumb shit I do on a regular basis.”

“Woah, woah, woah, confident, aren’t we? Don’t say that until you’ve heard about some of the stupid situation I choose to throw myself into.”

“Please, I’m an younger brother. If anyone knows how to be stupid, it’s me.”

“I’m part of the disaster that is the Wayne family. I think that has you beat.”

“My parents are mad scientists and my dog is a ghost. Try again.” The teasing smile on Danny’s lips makes him want to be reckless, to keep pushing, to go down this path as far as he can. Duke can’t remember the last time he clicked with someone so instantly, to be so comfortable with them so soon.

Damn. He’s gonna have to thank Dick for this, isn’t he?

As if on cue, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Duke pulls it out with an apologetic smile to Danny, who leans back a bit to give him some privacy.

The text that pops up is from Dick. It’s a photo of him and Danny from the side, heads bent close together as they talk with bright smiles. He can just make out the wild red curls of Kori’s hair.

“I’m gonna put jello in his socks,” Duke says cheerfully, already looking around to find where Dick is hiding.

He probably already moved locations, the ass.

“What’s up?”

He holds out his phone so Danny can see the screen. Danny stares at it, then looks around, then stares at the screen again.

“...Is he watching us?”

“Yep.”

“...Should we do something about it?”

Duke shrugs. “I mean, I’m up for hunting him down and tackling him if you are.”

“I can do you one better,” Danny says with a sharp grin. He whistles, and Cujo comes running over, Haly at his heels, and he skids to a stop to sit before Danny. “Cujo. You remember Dick?” Cujo barks, as if answering. “Fetch! Go fetch Dick!”

Cujo jumps to his feet, grows from the size of a pug to a bear, and takes off for the art instillation farther into Robinson Park. Moments later, they hear a yell followed by loud laughter, and Cujo and running back, Dick hanging from his mouth, with Kori, Donna, and Roy following after him at a leisurely stroll.

“I think we’re gonna get along great,” Duke says. “He’s gonna wish he never set us up.”

“That’s the way to do it,” Danny agrees.

“Say, wanna grab lunch together tomorrow?”

Danny blinks, then blushes again. “What, like a date?”

“Yeah, as a date. You up for it?”

“How could I say no? I was promised embarrassing stories.”

He watches as Cujo drops a rumpled looking Dick to the ground, half his shirt soaked with saliva. He dramatically mimes being shot in the heart when he sees them both looking at him, and goes limp when Kori picks him up and tries to set him on his feet.

Then he tries to act very calm and cool as Danny leans against him. “Think he’s gonna follow up on our date?” Danny asks in a low voice.

Duke closes his eyes and tries not to despair. He didn’t even think of that. “Worse. He’s going to tell everyone else, then we’ll have every available Wayne kid stalking us on our date.”

“Guess I’ll have to rely on you to chase them off, huh?”

“Or we can sic Cujo on them again.”

“Or that,” Danny nods. “It’s always effective.”

He’s really going to have to bring his best to the date tomorrow, just to stay a step ahead of everyone else. Maybe he’ll ask Barbara for a favor and get her to lead them off? And if Bruce gets involved, then Duke is fully prepared to flashbang him, grab Danny, and run.

It’s going to be a disaster.

It’s going to be fun.

He’s already looking forward to it, and from the mischievous smile on Danny’s face, he’s not the only one.

#ghostlights #dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #dpxdc #prompt fill #my writing #dick is so great i love him sooo much. most amazing loser guy ever <3 #him befriending danny at the park bc hes investigating the guy with the green superpowered dog thats making everyone nervous #only to find that danny's a sweet kid whos stressed out and doing his best and cujo is a ghost dog who died years ago and only wants to pla #really tugs at his heartstrings and dick from then on is one of dannys closest friends #the other dog park regulars slowly get used to danny and start talking to him too after dick does and also grow super protective #dannys got a whole squad ready to protect him if duke doesnt treat him right lol #waynes vs dog park regulars: FIGHT #jk they just give very mild shovel talks that are mostly 'treat him right hes had a rough life and deserves love and happiness. or else'#thanks for the prompt!!

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cepheusgalaxy · 2 months

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Classic: character compulsively washing their hands trying to get rid of blood stains that nobody but them can see, after having had to kill someone or watching someonde die in their arms, but the stains won't go away.

#whump tropes #whump prompts #blood mention #death mention #whump prompt #whump ideas #whump scenario #a fan of the classics 👌#*side eyes kakashi hatake from his backstory arc*#that was GOLD #best thing naruto shippuden ever did #/jk

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call-me-strega · 19 hours

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Dc x Dp Prompt #20: Wishes of a Secret Romantic

Jason doesn’t really advertise it but he’s a romantic at heart. He craves having his own cliche romance with someone who will actually care about him. Sometimes he indulges in his fantasies by reading romance novels or setting up at-home dinner dates that he takes himself on. He often finds himself sighing and wishing he had someone to relate to, that would give him unconditional care and enjoy going on romantic dates with him.

~~~

Desiree doesn’t quite know how she ended up supervising this beautiful mess but she’s not complaining. If anything she has some sweet gossip to share at girls night and a story for Ghost Writer to obsess over.

~~~ It starts like this:

Ever since Frostbite had taken to teaching the young ghost boy lessons on the Realms Culture and Ghost Biology he’d made great strides in his diplomatic and medical skills. His fighting skills were already impressive but were refined under the tutelage of the warriors of Far Frozen. Personally, she thinks he is grooming the Boy to join the Council of Ancients which have taken a more active role in governance now that Pariah has been defeated for a second time.

The boy has been going around and creating treaties with his enemies in which he finds them another outlet for their obsessions. He has already worked out deals with the likes of Technus, Amorpho, and oddly enough a joint deal between Penelope Spectra and Walker.

Technus was allowed to indulge in his technological creation so long as he was supervised by the Pharoah boy or doing on of the preapproved tasks of mischief, such as causing mild inconvenience to the bastards in white.

He had set up Amorpho with a “Cosplay TikTok” on which he was able to show off his different forms and get recognition for them. He’d amassed a large following thespians and costume artists who greatly admired him.

Due to his position on the Council, the Boy managed to get Spectra and Walker to agree to take part in the new justice system the Council had been setting up. Walker could run his prison so long as he abided by the rules and scentence lengths set by the Council. And Spectra was free to torment those whom the council deemed the worthy of the worst punishments. Many ghosts had grievances against living and non-living menaces, last she heard, there was a whole list for Spectra to go down. Currently, she was in another universe tormenting a man named Eobard Thawne, who went by a ridiculous name called the Reverse Flash. Once she had her fill of torment, they would be taken to Walker’s prison.

The Ghostling continued to do this with many of his former adversaries until he came knocking at the door to her lair. She was well aware of what the GhostBoy would want, and was curious as to what he could offer her.

She granted him the grace of her presence and was charmed by his earnest nature. He genuinely wanted to know her story and obsessions so that he could find the best way to help her. She revealed to him it was not Desire as many people assumed but Fulfillment. She wanted to people to attain their desires in place of how she had been unable too. But there are consequences to wish granting so there’s only so much the Boy could do.

The ghostling had been unbelievable smug win he wished that her wishes wouldn’t have catastrophically negative outcomes. When she granted and skeptically tested this wish she found it had worked. The boy grew even more smug.

Of course balance had to be maintained so her power became not weaker per say, just more indirect. During their trial run, Desiree was granting me the wish young boy had wished for a large cookie. Instead of instantly summoning a 50 foot tall cookie as she would have previously done, she simply caused his mother to have the desire to bake cookies and then had two of them fuse together in the oven creating one larger cookie.

A bit more round about than she prefers but it got the job done.

The two brokered a deal that would allow Desiree to travel into the mortal realm and grant the wishes she desired to, so long as the would cause catastrophically negative outcomes in the future. Young Phantom had even gone as far as to direct her to the so-called Make-A-Wish foundation in which she could find many deserving children to fulfill the wishes of.

~~~

One night Desiree had been flying through the mortal realm to visit a friend, a city spirit she hadn’t seen in ages. As she flew over the city a strong sense of longing and desire resonated with her core. Where there was desire there was someone with a wish. Invisible, she flew down to the source of these feelings to investigate.

She ended up out side the window of a building that held longer traces of death and her friends magic. She peered through to see a young man putting the finishing touches on a lavish dinner. She observed as he created a beautiful meal with an air of melancholy before pouring himself a glass of wine and turning on his television to watch mediocre romantic comedies. Intrigued by this young man, Desiree decided to lurk and observe for a while, perhaps he would soon reveal the wish his heart yearned for?

Jason sighed into his Osso Bucco as another romantic comedy began to play. Man he really was bumming himself out wasn’t he. He shook his head and took a sip of his wine. He winced slightly as some cringey kids’ movie called How to Build A Better Boy appeared on screen. How had that even gotten in his queue? However, his laziness won out and he made no move to change it resigning himself to a hour and a half or so of second-hand embarrassment and semi-decent acting.

As he watched the best friend girl make a virtual boyfriend based on her friend, the main girl’s, preferences and huffed to himself. Oh if only things could be that easy. He hummed to himself adding on his own thoughts to the teen girl’s rambling list.

“ If only, sister. I’d wish for a sensitive and sweet guy too. Someone who wouldn’t mind death jokes, or my odd hours. Someone to I could just relax and nerd out with. Someone who’d go on romantic dates with me so I wouldn’t have to sit here eating this nice dinner on my own. Yeah, I’d wish for my perfect guy too.”

Suddenly, a chill washed over Jason and his hair stood on edge. He whipped his head around in search for an intruder only to see nothing there. He scanned the apartment suspiciously before his eyes landed on an open window. He sighed, reassured it was just a draft and turned back to the movie.

Desiree was touched by the earnest desires of the young man who was touched by both death and her friend’s magic. It almost reminded her of her own desires for romance while she was still living. Perhaps she would stick around to see how this wish played out for the young man~?

Miles away, something sparked in Danny Fenton, helping him make his final decision on which of the colleges that accepted him he should attend.

#long post #dc x dp #dead on main #jason todd #danny phantom #danny fenton #desiree #jason todd is a romantic #romantic jason todd #jason todd deserves to be happy #accidental matchmaking #desiree and lady gotham are friends #desiree grants jason’s wish #desiree doesn’t know it yet but she’s low key gonna become jason’s personal fairy godmother #desiree is fond of jason #aha aha what if I made lady gotham and desiree jason’s moms #jk jk... unless?#Strega’s dc x dp prompt

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dead-girl-tells-stories · 4 months

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DP x DC Prompt

This, but it's because their flight home was canceled due to Gotham's airport being destroyed. And they didn't want to drive all the way back.

The reason it all started was because Tucker was really bored and was getting a bit frustrated when he couldn't get past one of WE's many firewalls. He had already skimmed through everything else and concluded that Gotham's Brucie Wayne was a literal angel sent from heaven to one the worst cities in the world because he committed a crime so horrific that not even God could look him in his pretty little face anymore and that firewall proved it!

So to cool his head off, he decided to hack into a bank. Banks were pretty easy, right? Almost anyone could do it with just enough knowledge and the proper equipment. What he DIDN'T expect was just how EASY it was to do so. Laughably so, to the point it made him cry.

Did Gotham's rouges or Gothamites in general not like money? Not even the small-time rouges? Because he KNEW those operations that they try to pull off cost money. Shit tons!

So when his laughter became so disturbing that his friends and even his frenemies got concerned, all he had to do was show them what he found out. Which sent them spiraling into laughter as well. Like, c'mon, even Amity Park's bank was more secure than that and they only had fucking GHOST CRIME!

As the tears began to dry, and the laughter turned to giggles, one of the girls suggested something.

Star: Why don't we, like, rob it or something?

The hotel room went silent and Star started to fidget. Then she started to ramble.

Star: I mean like, we don't have to. It was kind of a joke anyway, since their security's so bad ya know, and I'm pretty sure we're gonna be here for a while and-

Dani: Star, baby, sweetie, honey. Why are you justifying yourself when we were all probably thinking the same thing, right?

Nod and hums of agreement filled the girl with relief.

Wes: Besides it's not a class trip unless we cause some trouble right?

They all then pilled into the bed and around Tucker as his finger flew across the keyboard.

Tucker: So, where are we hitting up first?

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #Mr. Lancer was going to tell them that it was lights out #but felt the chaotic energy coming from the other side of the door and went #"Nope I'll deal with that LATER'#They susessfuly robbed three banks #a couple of jewelry stores and WE before getting bored and turning themselves in #jk #they were caught in their hotel room counting the cash cartel style #and continued to do so while looking the Bats dead in the face #not Star and Paulina tho #they were too busy admiring all the pretty jewels on their hands and necks #is it a good time to mention that Paulina is a dragon and everyone else is liminal and has some sort of ability?#also triplet Dan Danny and Dani AU #anyways the Bats are dying on the inside because they have been looking for these criminals for WEEKS #but only found them by accident while looking for another criminal in the same hotel #and they're all 16-17 years old!!!!#in Tucker's defence the banks security wasn't really shit he's just hacked through much more difficult ones when he was 14 #AKA the GIW and the government #not the JLs yet but he has been close #dc x dp prompt #dp dc crossover #dc x dp #dpxdc

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lovelesslittleloser · 1 year

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Aliens react to customer service voices

Human: ugh, I should quit. The higher-ups are such—

*communicator sounds*

Human, with a business smile: Hello, chief, how can I assist?

Alien: *stares in confusion*

Human: any time, truely! *communicator turns off* ugh, what a prick

Alien: ???

#humans are space orcs prompts #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans are space fae #humans are deathworlders #customer service #customer service voice #nyanbare nyan nyan nyan nyan nyansei #hehe #brain go brrrrrr #like a machine gun #if the bullets were all emotional states #I am not okay :)#hahhaha jk…… unless?#I want to. Stab #???? sorry buddy my guess is probably worse than yours

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notachair · 27 days

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Since atla is again having an extra surge of popularity, I'm shooting my shot:

[ID: (Rest of image description in alt). At the bottom of the image sits the text: "Zuko: Okay. Well, I can't remember how it starts, but the punchline is "leaf me alone, I'm bushed."" ID end].

Did we ever find out what the setup for this joke was? I feel kinda haunted by it. If not- anyone wanna make their best or worst guesses?

edit: I now know what "I'm bushed" mean, but go ahead anyway 👍

haunted thoughts in tags ↓

#atla #the way I was early out for this next surge in popularity 🤗 I was in a different phase by 2020 #it's not like it haunts me day and night but it does bother me thinking back on it. please tell me I'm not the only one 🧍‍♂️#I'll have to reblog the 'closure is a myth' post jk #what kind... of joke is it? leaf pun on leave i get. I'm bushed however I dont get. it implies the punchline sayer is a bush at least I #think. but what prompts the 'i am bushed' I dont get. is it not contextual? is it a phrase ive not connected like 'leaf me alone'?#is there anotger layer between leaf and bush? again what kind of joke (social:joke purpose. what is funny? only pun?) + (in-joke set up)?#is it about the kind of bush it is? is it between two plants? the plant & someone picking on the plant like a teamaker collecting?#is it about a plant that has grown into bush and thus (somethingsomething)?? is it not a plant at all? other elements? iroh *what*.#if the creators actually had a setup in mind- I fear it will be lame. but yet I am haunted #it must have cracked someone up for him to try relay it. (set in term of endearment here) 🧍‍♂️👈 *poking him*#either way. me 🤝 zuko @ being bad at remembering & relaying jokes 😁👍#at least in that instance anyway #I mainly stick to irony & sarcasm. running along with an mistaken assumption or replying w something silly & blowing it out of proportions.#puns if I'm lucky. ect. fun when I can reference it later tho I try not to overdo it. not like I'll likely remember it for too long anyway #now to lay in wajt see if anything happens....#avatar the last airbender #zuko #atla zuko #a:tla #my rambles #its lie and not lay is it not.....

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dysfunctional-doodle · 24 days

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Finally catching up with requests, wow. A rough idea of what I see as a human ROTTMNT Mikey design requested by an anon!

-> Commissions || My Kofi || Tip Jar :) <-

I will probably give better drawings that weren’t done in the space of an hour once studies are over for the year, but this is a rough sketch of the little bean :)

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7s3ven · 8 months

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OBSESSION. tom riddle x fem! reader.

( master list )

IN WHICH… Tom Riddle is partnered with a Gryffindor for potions. He expects them to crush every assignment sent their way, but what he doesn’t expect is him falling in love.

Words: Too many

Warning/s: Not proof-read, Grammar mistakes

A/N: I disappeared for a while, but I’m back now, lol. With Harry Potter oneshots. I have so many in my drafts that I hope to publish soon.

—

“These are your potion partners. You will work with them for the rest of the year. And no, you cannot change.”

Half of the class erupted into groans but Slughorn ignored them. Slytherins and Gryffindors were paired together, one boy and one girl.

Slughorn had purposely paired up Tom Riddle, the cold Slytherin heartthrob, and Y/N L/N, the intelligent Gryffindor beauty, together. He saw their potential together considering both students were academic geniuses.

“A Skele Gro potion? Seriously?” Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes. It was one of the easiest potions to make and this was an advanced class.

“Slughorn probably gave the class an easy potion since he partnered us up with people we basically hate.” Tom retorted, staring at the old potions book.

“You hate me?”

“You are a Gryffindor, after all.”

“How original.”

For the remainder of the class, the two were quiet. There were a few words exchanged but not many.

“Pass the scarab beetle.”

“Give me the puffer fish.”

As Tom was busy mixing the potion, Y/N took this as her chance to glance at him. She couldn’t deny that he was attractive with his curled brown hair and high cheekbones.

She soon went back to scribbling a few notes in her textbook, the black ink staining the side of her hand (something she didn’t notice). She wiped the side of her cheek, unknowingly smearing the ink onto her face.

Tom gaze wandered from the simple potion to Y/N, who was leaning over the desk, quill in hand. He looked at the ink on her face, almost smiling in amusement.

“L/N,” He uttered. She turned her head to look at him in confusion, wondering why he had mumbled her name. “You have something on your face.”

She reached up a hand, touching the wrong side of her face.

“Other side- You know what, never mind.” Tom licked his lips and shook his head. He beckoned Y/N forward and with a pinch of hesitation, she stood up.

Tom pulled out a handkerchief and gently wiped her cheek, strangely fascinated by the way the ink didn’t stain her face as it did with her hand.

She stared into his dark brown eyes, leaving Tom stunned. Most students, even the girls obsessed with him, were always scared of Tom. But Y/N purely gazed at him, unfazed.

“Thank you.” She slowly said, her lips curving into a small smile.

Tom was silent for a moment before he cleared his throat and nodded. “No problem.”

The pair went silent again and when class was dismissed, Y/N shoved all of her things into her bag and fled the room.

Tom took his time in packing up. He picked up a thick leather journal that he didn’t remember owning and when he flipped thorough the messy pages, he realized it wasn’t his.

Every page of Y/N’s book was different. Some notes were messy while others were unbelievably neat.

Tom gently put the book in his bag and hurried out of the classroom to see if he could find Y/N. But she had moved too fast and was nowhere to be seen.

“Tom, why do you look so worried?” Avery came up behind the brunette prefect, slinging a pale arm around Tom’s shoulder.

“Y/N L/N, what do you know about her?” Tom asked.

“What? The Gryffindor girl with the fan club?”

Y/N was, to put it lightly, popular with the Hogwarts students. Not just the boys, in fact. Girls liked her too, both platonically and romantically. Hence her little fan club.

“Yes. What do you know about her?”

“Not a lot. She’s a Gryffindor, obviously. Comes from a wealthy Mudblood”- Avery froze as soon as Tom sent him a stern glare. “Muggle family.” He quickly corrected himself. “She’s smart, pretty, and people like her. She’s, uh, popular and acts as a stand-in for the Quidditch team because, despite liking the sport, she doesn't have enough time to play it regularly."

"Find out anything else about Y/N. And figure out her preferable type when it comes to romantic partners." Tom said, waving Avery off. The blond left, leaving Tom alone to tend to his thoughts.

The sound of heels clicking against the stoned floor filled the silent hallway and a shoulder banged into Tom's.

"Ah! Sorry!" Y/N called out, not realizing who it was.

Tom quickly reached out, grabbing her arm and pulling her back. With a loud gasp of surprise, Y/N harshly crashed into his chest, almost knocking the air out of Tom's lungs.

Tom paused, inhaling the sweet scent of Y/N's floral perfume. "You left your notebook in the classroom. Here." The brunette boy handed Y/N her leather book, their fingers brushing against each other. She gripped her notes tightly, almost as if she was afraid of losing them again.

"Thank you." She muttered, her knuckles turning white. She looked like she wanted to say more but she didn't. She only nodded and ran off.

Tom let out a loud sigh, the brief feeling of Y/N's skin against his imprinted in his mind.

—

"My lord," Avery strode up to Tom, a few pages in his hands. "I, uh, made a list about... you know." He whispered the last part and handed Tom the list.

"Thank you. You may go." Tom looked around to see if anybody was paying attention to him before he flipped through Avery's messy handwriting.

Y/N L/N, muggle-born. Gryffindor. Enjoys studying in the library with her friends and loves (your favourite drink). Her best subject is defence against the dark arts and potions.

Her ideal type wasn't easy to figure out, but I managed to question a lot of her friends without raising suspicion. Her ideal type is people taller than her, and she really seems to like scholars over sporty people. Honestly, there's a lot of grey area so her type could be anyone.

Tom folded the notes and shoved them into his pocket. He cleared his throat, nodding in satisfaction. His first class of the day was potions, and he felt a weird feeling in his chest. It was almost like it… jumped.

Tom could feel his pulse speed up as he got closer to the potions classroom and he momentarily paused to feel it. “Strange.” He muttered under his breath. He must be sick because this had never happened.

Nevertheless, he continued on his way. He was early but there were already a few students inside, one being Y/N. She was sitting at her and Tom’s desk but was speaking to a Gryffindor behind her.

They immediately went silent, though, when Tom approached them. Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line as the awkward silence settled over the room.

Tom cracked open his potions book, his eyes scanning over random words. He could feel Y/N staring at him and when he glanced at her, she hurriedly looked away, her cheeks flushing red.

Tom held back a snicker. “Are you excited for the Yule ball?” Tom unexpectedly asked. He wasn’t one to be phased by silence, but Y/N looked uncomfortable by it.

“Pardon me?”

“The Yule ball. Are you excited? Surely you must be.”

“Oh, um, yes. What about you?”

“I’d rather skip it. But being a prefect, I have to be there.” Tom didn’t care for social events. He hated most of them and found them rather pointless. He had never liked the Yule ball in the first place.

“Have you got a date?” Y/N questioned, fiddling with her quill.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“I’m just curious. How is it that someone like you doesn’t have a date? Girls are crazy for you.” Y/N turned her head to look at Tom, which was probably the first time she had done so since he caught her staring.

“I’m not interested in them. They aren’t what I’m looking for.”

“Well, you have plenty time to find a date, if you want one.”

Tom silently nodded, opening his mouth and then closing it. “You’re on the Yule ball committee, are you not?” He asked after a hint of hesitation.

“I am. I’ve been so busy planning it that I haven’t thought about the event itself. I don’t even know what colour my dress will be.”

“(Favorite colour.” Tom immediately replied, taking Y/N by surprise. “(Favorite colour) would suit you.”

Y/N briefly smiled. “I’ll make sure to keep that in mind.”

—

As the days passed by, Y/N haunted Tom’s mind like a ghost haunting a dark house. He couldn’t get her out of his mind, no matter what he tried. He had even gone as far as making out with a fellow Slytherin to try and erase Y/N from his mind.

But all he could do was imagine it was Y/N who was desperately kissing him, smearing lipstick marks all over his white collar and drowning him in her sweet perfume.

Tom had gotten little to no sleep for the past week, a certain Gryffindor etched into his brain. The dark circles under his eyes had grown, a sign that he hadn’t been resting well.

“Riddle, are you okay?” Y/N’s voice snapped the brunette Slytherin back to reality. He realised that his head was leaning against his desk and his neck ached. He sat up, looking around the empty classroom. “You, uh, fell asleep.” Y/N explained, “Slughorn let you sleep since you seemed so tired.”

“Ah.” Tom thickly swallowed and cleared his throat. “I’m fine. Thank you.” He waved his hand, trying to dismiss Y/N like he would dismiss Avery but she didn’t leave.

“Are you sure? Slughorn told me to tell you that if you ever need more sleep, you can ask him for a potion.”

Tom stood up, a little wobbly. He picked up his stuff and placed a heavy hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “I’m fine.” He repeated. His hand lingered for a moment too long on Y/N before he lifted it and walked off, slightly unstable.

Y/N watched him leave, her lips parted and her eyebrows furrowed with concern. She recalled how peaceful Tom looked in his sleep, the completely opposite of what he looked like right now. He looked so… rough.

Y/N could faintly remember the feeling of Tom’s hand on her shoulder and she began to wonder how his cold hands would feel on her waist. Shocked by her own thoughts, Y/N violently shook her head.

Tom was attractive but he didn’t like anyone. Not romantically and not platonically. And Y/N would be the last person he’d date, with her being both a Gryffindor and Muggleborn.

Just as Y/N was about to leave, she spotted a slip of paper on Tom’s desk. Curiosity got the best of her and she hurriedly opened it. The paper looked like it had been quickly torn out of a notebook.

Light of my life. Fire of my loins. I can’t get her out of my head, just like how Humbert couldn’t stop thinking about Dolores. Perhaps Lolita is not the best reference to make buy nevertheless. This is not supposed to be happening, not now and not ever. I cannot love and yet here I am, undoubtedly and inexplicably in love with her.

It was Tom’s handwriting, Y/N was sure of it. She felt confused when her heart sank after reading the contents and not seeing her name. She had been thinking about Tom Riddle ever since they got paired up and she was starting to wonder the same question her friends were asking: Did Y/N L/N fancy Tom Riddle?

—

Potions couldn’t come fast enough. Tom and Y/N were the first ones to enter the room. They seemed to have the same idea and try to be as early as possible to get a glimpse of their potions partner before class started.

“What’s the theme for the Yule ball?” Tom inquired.

“It’s the same as it always is.” Y/N replied, “Snow.”

“How original.”

“I wish they’d spice it up a little. But the ball committee isn’t on charge of the them, just the planning and decorating.”

“Still no date?”

“I’ve had a few offers but… not my type. You?”

“No.”

“At this rate, it seems like you’ll never get a date.” Y/N joked but her smile faded when she saw Tom’s unamused face. “Say,” She said, suddenly remembering what she had found a few days ago, “Do you like anyone?”

“It’s impossible for me to like someone.”

“I know… but if you could, who would you like?” Y/N stared at Tom, anxiously awaiting his answer.

He took his sweet time in thinking. So long that Y/N was sure he wasn’t even going to give her a proper answer.

“It’s hard to say who when I don’t feel anything.” Tom lied through his teeth. The girl he was interested in was right in front of him.

“I see. No pressure to answer then.”

“But if I had to describe someone I’d like, if I could feel anything, I’d want her to be kind and caring. The opposite of me to balance it out.”

Y/N could feel anxiety course through her veins as she parted her lips to make a reference she probably shouldn’t have. “Would she be the light of your life and the fire of your loins?”

Tom tried to hide his small amount of panic with a chuckle. “A strange reference, huh? Why Lolita?”

“I just think it’s strange how some people can’t stop thinking about their crushes… like how Humbert was always thinking of Lolita.” Y/N watched Tom’s face for any form of reaction, but he had none.

“How did you find it?” Tom quickly questioned, turning on his wooden chair. “The letter? How did you find it?”

“You left it on your desk. Just tell me who the girl is, I want to know. I’ll even help you ask her out.”

“I do not need your help.” Tom seethed, “And do not mention a word of this to anyone else. We will discuss this after class.”

Perhaps Y/N should have kept her mouth shut. If she did, she wouldn’t have found herself locked in a dingy old basement with Tom Riddle.

I’m going to die, she thought to herself.

“Riddle, I promise I will not mention this to anybody. I swear! You don’t have to kill me! I won’t say anything!”

“I’m not going to kill you, L/N. What do you take me for? A savage?”

Y/N wanted to mention the time where Tom had beaten up a Hufflepuff for accidentally taking his book, but she forced herself not to say anything.

“You want to know who the girl is?” Tom asked. Y/N silently nodded. She subconsciously stepped back as he slowly walked towards her. This pattern continued until Y/N’s back hit a stone wall and she stiffened.

Tom was standing right in front of her, looming over her with that stern stare he always had.

“The girl that I am so infatuated with, to put it lightly, is you.”

Y/N blinked once, and then twice. Then she burst into laughter. “Are you messing with me, Riddle? Is this a joke? Come on, be serious.”

“I’m not the one who should be serious here.” Tom responded, reaching out a hand to tuck a piece of Y/N’s hair away.

“Wait, so you’re not joking?” Y/N asked, raising her eyebrows. She couldn’t ignore the little jump her heart did.

“If I was joking, I wouldn’t be willing to do this.” Tom had to lean down to press his lips against Y/N’s. She jumped and, on instinct, pulled away and slapped Tom.

She froze, her mind processing what she had just done. Then she panicked. "My gosh, Riddle, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to slap you! Are you... okay?" That was a stupid question to ask, considering how red Tom's cheek was right now.

"Fine." He answered even though his face was stinging.

"I didn't mean to slap you. You just caught me by surprise. Sorry... again." Y/N cringed, staring at Tom's reddening cheek. "Say... do you happen to know what loins actually means, Riddle?”

“No. I only used it as a pitiful reference.”

“It's your, uh..." Y/N paused, "Humbert was basically saying that Dolores got him... aroused.” Y/N had expected him to know what it meant, Tom being an academic and all.

“Oh… well, I can assure you that I am not a pedo and nothing like Humbert.” Tom sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I am sorry I kissed you without warning. You are free to go. Just… not a word.”

Tom turned around and even though Y/N wanted to call out his name, she simply stared at him before nodding and walking off.

Tom, who was hoping Y/N would stay, pressed his lips into a thin line. He thickly swallowed, waiting a few minutes to see if Y/N would return. When she didn’t, he could only nod in acceptance.

Love was never meant for some people, and perhaps Tom was in that category.

—

Y/N sat in her dorm room, sitting on the edge of her bed. She clasped her hands together, deep in thought.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Liza, a fellow Gryffindor, bounced up to Y/N. She was one of her dorm mates, and a close friend.

“Are you sure you want to hear it?” Y/N quietly muttered, sheepishly smiling.

“Shoot. I have nothing better to do.”

“Riddle, uh… he…” Y/N struggled to finish her sentence. She could still feel his lips against her’s and for some reason… she liked it.

“What did he do? Did he- No. I knew he was rotten apple! That is unacceptable!” Liza assumed the worst.

“No! No! He didn’t. He… kissed me.”

Liza’s eyebrows rose in shock. She opened her mouth, then closed it. “Riddle… kissed you? Like… actually kissed you? No offence. He just doesn’t seem like the type… to be interested in relationships.” Liza’s gaze fell upon Y/N’s solemn face. “But, uh, how are you feeling? That’s the most important thing.”

“That’s the problem… I’m not too sure. I… liked it? But, it feels wrong. I mean, Riddle is… he’s untouchable. He’s the head boy, he’s smart and charming and loved. And I’m… just me.”

Liza grabbed Y/N’s hands, holding onto them tightly. “You are not just you. You are a top student at Hogwarts. A role model to younger kids. A great candidate for head girl. You are amazing and talented and skilled. You are Y/N L/N.” Liza furrowed her eyebrows as she spoke with such passion.

Y/N teared up at her friend’s kind words. Liza softly smiled and wiped away a stray tear.

“Y/N, do you like Tom Riddle?”

“I’m… not sure.”

“That isn’t an answer. Do you like Tom Riddle?”

“I do.”

Liza grabbed Y/N by the shoulders, tightly gripping them. “Then listen to me, Y/N. You are going to march up to Riddle and you are going to ask that boy out if it’s the last thing you do! And he will accept your offer because he is lucky to even stand so close to you! Do you understand?!”

Liza’s enthusiastic behavior on this matter made Y/N laugh. “Okay, okay. What do I have to do?”

Liza smirked, standing up straight and flicking her raven black hair over her shoulder.

“Leave it to me.”

—

Y/N felt a little foolish as she stood in the crowded hallway, a huge bouquet of flowers in one hand and heart-shaped letter in the other. Liza stood behind Y/N, keeping a lookout for Tom Riddle.

“Is this necessary?” Y/N muttered, gulping as people stared at her when they passed by.

“Absolutely. Come on, I see him.” Liza pushed Y/N forward. Her heart was beating like crazy in her chest. Her knees wobbled like jelly and she found it hard to stand properly.

“Liz,” Y/N whispered, hyperventilating. “Liz. I can’t do this.”

“No. Come on. Y/N, I believe in you. Let’s go.”

Y/N shakily stepped forward. She locked eyes with Riddle, who stared at her in confusion. His eyes flickered to the flowers and the letter, and he tilted his head to the side.

“I can do this.” Y/N muttered to herself.

“You can do this.” Liza echoed.

“I’m a Gryffindor. I’m brave. I’m loyal. I’m courageous. I’m Y/N L/N.” Y/N took a deep breathe before she quickly walked towards Tom.

The sea of students parted for her. They whispered and muttered, wondering what Tom’s answer would be. He was infamous for not caring about other people and, to them, Y/N was just another girl who thought she could change him.

“Y/N.” Tom uttered. That was the first time he had called her by her first name, which said something. Tom’s group that had been accompanying him stepped back, pushing and shoving each other and quietly laughing.

“Tom.” Y/N greeted him back.

“Did you finally say yes to someone asking you out to the Yule Ball?” Tom questioned, reaching out a hand to look at the beautiful flowers. “He has nice choice in flowers.”

“Actually,” Y/N said, stepped closer to the tall brunette, “I’m not the one who has to say yes. But, I’m hoping the person I’m asking will.”

Tom arched an eyebrow, confused and left in the dark.

“Tom Riddle, being your potions partner has been… interesting. It’s been chaotic, which is my favorite kind of fun. You are… amazing, and smart, and a great companion. So, Tom Riddle, despite me being a Gryffindor, will you make me so happy and go to the Yule Ball with me?”

“This is such a Gryffindor thing to do; the girl asking the boy out.” Tom plucked a flower from the bouquet, slightly grinning, “Y/N L/N, you are one amazing girl. I would be honored to be your date.”

Tom slowly tilted Y/N’s chin up and smiled.

“That’s… a yes, right?”

“It’s a yes.”

Malfoy practically tackled Tom. “My friend has a date! Tom finally has a date!”

The hallway burst into cheers and claps. Liza was especially happy. She bounced up to Y/N, hugging her tightly. Other people approached Y/N, joyfully congratulating her and patting her back. Her cheeks ached from smiling so much, but the adrenaline blocked out her pain.

Tom glanced at Y/N, pausing. He adored that glint in her eyes and he hoped it would be there for a long time to come.

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minarjosefine · 2 years

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Hallo an alle, die sich hier freiwillig oder unfreiwillig her verirrt haben. 🧡

Ich bin wahnsinnig gespannt, ob und wie diese Idee hier angenommen und umgesetzt wird. Ein anderer lieber Mensch und ich hatten die Überlegung, ob es nicht möglich wäre, all die Ideen, die einem über Joko und Klaas Fanfictions so im Kopf schwirren, zu sammeln und umzusetzen. Wenn ihr also ein Thema, eine Geschichte, eine bestimme Szenerie oder eine allgemeine Idee für eine Fanfiction habt, schickt sie per Ask oder nutzt den #jk prompts. Es richtet sich vor allem an all diejenigen, die etwas im Kopf haben, aber nicht selbst schreiben möchten. Alle Ideen werden gesammelt und hier regelmäßig in einer Liste, die ich immer wieder anpasse, veröffentlicht. Ihr könnt eure Ideen also loswerden und euch daran bedienen, wenn ihr Lust habt eine auf Papier zu bringen. 🧡

P.S.: Ihr könnt natürlich auch andere Dinge loswerden, die in euren Köpfen feststecken. Fühlt euch frei, die Ask Box zu nutzen.

#jk prompts #jk fanfic #joko und klaas #joko winterscheidt #klaas heufer umlauf

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aldoodles · 1 year

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February - Assist

#doomsyear23 #al chatters #my art #httyd books #how to train your dragon books #hiccup horrendous haddock lll #book!hiccup #book!stoick #stoick the vast #local man gives friendly dragon (about to eat his son) a biiiig bear hug #jk he strangled that dragon and like. threw him.#httyd fanart #dude he was insANE in this scene ???#also poor hiccup scared speechless and having nightmares about it even in his old age #this is how I imagined the skullions #illustration #watercolor illustration #character illustration #‘hmm how do I make a creature spookier? ah. i know! black Ichor for spit’#if u couldn’t tell I’m going in book order for these doomsyear prompts by picking a part of each book #that I could see matching the prompts #I’ve been rereading as I go #I’m trying to challenge myself to do more complex things #but I find my style sorta tedious. so I’ll try to branch out!#maybe I’ll incorporate my love of landscape painting #idk #ok anyways I am procrastinating posting by writing in the tags but I need to go to bed so I will post it now

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awzominator · 2 years

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Day five of Duke week!!!

We love angst in this household!!!! Taunted with happy memories and Plagued by laughter!

*slaps roof of car* This boi can fit so much trauma in him

#dukeweek2022 #duke week 2022 #duke thomas #the signal #batfamily #this week ain’t over for me yet #two more prompts and then who knows what I’ll post #jk I know it’s gonna be tmnt #Awzominator art

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minnesota-fats · 3 months

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I just read the Canterville ghost for the first time and as a way to show my love for the story here is a dc x do au idea!

A canterville ghost au where Danny had been haunting the Wayne manor for 300 years and is suddenly frustrated at the family that doesn’t seem to take his haunting seriously! It isn’t until they youngest of the family actually confronts him and Danny tells the boy his woes.

#dcxdp #dcxdp prompt #dcxdp au #woah how original #jk I know this is dumb #this could be a romance #up to you all #:3 #fun #DeadSerious dcxdp #mayhaps #>:3 #I didn’t even think of Bruce holly shit!!!

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jaskiersbard · 11 months

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Fuck JK Rowling but it makes me so angry to think we could have had a complete Fantastic Beasts series with an autistic lead who isn’t a total stereotype, who is loveable, who has a love interest instead of just being infantilised…and instead we’re getting a seven season Harry Potter reboot/remake that no one asked for or wanted on HBO Max.

When I was going through the process of my autism diagnosis, feeling anxious and worried about what being diagnosed would mean, knowing that Newt Scamander - a character who is adored by so many in a major franchise - was being played as autistic helped me tremendously. I saw much of myself in Newt, and it made me feel seen that an autistic person like myself could be the hero, that Newt wasn’t a joke or stereotype. It was so important to me coming to terms with my diagnosis that a character I loved was like me and not limited by being autistic.

I’ve mentioned this before but on the opening day of Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore in the UK, there was a boy on the row in front of me. When Newt came onscreen, he started bouncing and flapping his hands excitedly - like me, he was autistic and saw himself represented on the big screen.

“But Luna Lovegood” - you know what, controversial but fuck your “but Luna Lovegood”. Her actress sided with the TERF, and Luna is NOT confirmed to be autistic, it’s just a popular fan headcanon. Meanwhile Newt Scamander has been confirmed by Eddie Redmayne (not JKR, fuck her) to be on the spectrum. I’m not saying she definitely isn’t because I can definitely see it, and it’s wonderful autistic people can relate, but I’m talking about a character who is intentionally written and portrayed as autistic instead of just fan headcanons.

What does having a love interest have to do with this? Believe it or not, this isn’t me just being a shipper: too often are autistic people infantilised, as if we can’t love other people or that people are incapable of loving us. But - as anyone following me most likely knows - Newt Scamander has a love interest, Porpentina “Tina” Goldstein, who he’s canonically married to in the future. They even have a grandson who is called Rolf and marries the aforementioned Luna.

In the three films, we only got a few scenes (and then JK Rowling cut Tina out because Katherine Waterston called her out on multiple occasions for being a transphobe) of Newtina but what we got showed that not only is Newt capable of forming a romantic attachment but also Tina clearly loves Newt as he is, quirks and all. She understood his odd compliment of “salamander eyes” because she knows his special interest is magical creatures and it’s his way of saying he adores her eyes. She read his book and genuinely made an effort to learn because she knew magical creatures were important to him, and we saw her grow from thinking he was writing an “extermination guide” to giving him the name for his book, “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them”. My girl Tina LOVES Newt for who he is and always has, and that’s beautiful.

Seeing an autistic person not only fall in love - he spends the whole of the 2nd and 3rd films lamenting on how beautiful she is, talking about her and with her picture in his pocket/suitcase - but also being loved for who they are is something so rarely seen and is so important.

I’ll be the first to hold my hands up and say that the second and third Fantastic Beasts movies weren’t the greatest, by the way. I will agree to that. The first one seems like a damn masterpiece in comparison, even with its problems, but I’m still angry.

The fact that JK Rowling’s bigotry has contributed to losing this rare example of autistic representation in a major mainstream franchise is something no one talks about when discussing her actions, and it hurts that no one seems to care about canon autistic representation.

#this was prompted by me rewatching the first two films whilst sick last week #I tweeted this out last week but felt it relevant to post here #fantastic beasts and where to find them #newt scamander #eddie redmayne #autism #actually autistic #tina goldstein #porpentina goldstein #katherine waterston #newtina #fantastic beasts: the crimes of grindelwald #fantastic beasts: the secrets of dumbledore #newt x tina #anti jk rowling #anti jkr #radfems dni #terfs dni

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