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seokjins-luigi · 1 year

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i hate everything about you | pt. 2 | pjm

・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader

・genre: exes to ? | angst | smut

18+

・word count: 4.2k

・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.

・banner: by the amazing @/kookdiaries

・A/N: i'm very sorry for making you wait for so long ): but finally, here's part 2 of this story. i wanna thank everyone for the amazing feedback 💜

again: here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe

as always, thank you to my soulmate @primadonnasdream for helping me build my stories. hope you guys enjoy the reading :))

if you wanna be added to any of my taglists, just leave a comment here. feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・taglist:@imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc @tea4sykes @pamzn @nikkiordonez12 @withluvjm @natalie-rdr @south09 @hannahdanyelle @vonvi-blog @leticiaesteveslp @sheylamc @kooklovee

You like to think of yourself as a not complicated type of person. Most of the time, you’re logic-oriented, try not jumping into conclusions and, above all else, you don’t waste your precious time obsessing over things that are outside of your control.

This has been working for your chill personality for your entire life just fine, but when it comes to Park Jimin, none of it applies to you.

Today, you wake up feeling extremely tired after the awful night of sleep you obviously had. Unfortunately, you couldn’t think about anything else other than fucking Park Jimin. The things he had said kept replaying in your mind in a never ending loop. Totally obsessing over it and this is so unlike you, it hurts.

You watched the dark shades of the night turn into the golden shades of the morning through the thin curtains of your bedroom window. What did he mean when he asked you if you still had no idea? Was he trying to manipulate you or was there something you really didn’t know about the situation?

As much as you keep trying to convince yourself that you don’t want to dig into it, you know that you very much want to dig into it. You nor only just want, you need to. If anything, it’ll give you closure. Although it sounds bizarre and you honestly didn’t have the faintest idea of what this could be about, it really felt like some part of Jimin was being honest.

“I wanna tell you everything”, he actually said that. Maybe there is something to be told. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking, maybe you are only falling under his spell all over again. But the fact that you were the one who did not let him speak last night is eating you alive, now you’re anxious and nervous and it’s all your own fault.

You were just sure things could not go on like this, because it was starting to affect your work. You kept losing focus on your meetings with clients, forgetting about important tasks or overlooking details that should not be overlooked. This is where you draw the line. You can’t allow Jimin’s influence in your life to go this far. One time was enough, you can’t allow him to mess with your head again.

After pondering about it for hours, you decide to go looking for him. You know the only way out of this spiraling mode you’re in right now is to have an honest and thorough conversation with Jimin, because you deserve to know the truth.

When you arrive at the bar, the place Jungkook took you last night, you see Jimin’s car parked nearby. It was almost exactly six o’clock and you’re sure he had arrived at work already, he’s always been a responsible guy. Luckily, as if destiny was giving you a hand, not even a minute later you see the glass door of the bar being opened and a second later Jimin passes through.

You see your ex heading towards his car, he doesn’t seem to have seen you across the street. You hesitate for a second, but you force yourself to go to him.

Each step you take in his direction makes you want to just run away as fast as you can, almost as if you can’t take the anticipation. You need this. You need closure. You can do this, Y/n.

As you got near, you saw him looking for something in the glove compartment, still unaware of your presence. You take a deep breath and call his name.

“Jimin?” You’re surprised with how confident you sounded.

He snapped his head in your direction, confusion stamped all over his face.

“Y/n?” He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to you as he spoke. “What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” You looked him in the eyes and he returned the deepness of your own. “Please?”

“Y/n, about last night… I’m really sorry. I was drunk, I shouldn’t have gone there and bothered you with my shit”.

“I can forgive you for last night if you tell me the whole story”, he looked down to his feet before you could finish the sentence, breaking eye contact with you. “Jimin-ssi, I deserve to know”.

He turns his back, delicately closing the door of his car. He, then, turns back to you, finally looking into your eyes once again, the surprise from his eyes is gone and you’re not sure of what you see there.

“All I can say is I’m sorry for last night, but”, he leans and rests his body against his car, displaying an annoyingly nonchalant expression on his fucking face as he shrugs. “There’s nothing to tell”.

At this moment you remember why you hate his ass. It’s ridiculous how he can look you straight in the eyes and lie to you after the scene he pulled hours ago in your house.

You take a deep, frustrated breath.

“Fucking bullshit! Thanks for reminding me how much of an asshole you are, Jimin. I almost forgot”, you smile dryly. “I hope next time you drink, you don't show up at my doorstep whining again, ok? Next time I’ll call the fucking police”.

With a smirk, he declares. “There'll be no next time, Y/n. Rest assured”.

“Well, praise the lord, huh?” You reply in a sharp tone, not allowing him to say his piece. “I regret every single tear I’ve wasted on you. You… You were the worst mistake I’ve ever made”.

He glares at you with contempt plastered all over his face, his plump lips tightened as his brows rose. You wish punching people in the face didn’t cause as much trouble as it does, because you can swear to all gods that have ever existed that the only thing you want at this moment is to punch this expression off his face.

“Say that again”, he challenges you, brows still in the same position as before, with a darker shade of brown on his eyes.

You refuse to give him the satisfaction.

“You’re not deaf”, now you’re the one who answers challengingly, raising your own brows as you try to speak calmly. “Next time we bump into each other, do me the favor of pretending you don’t know me”.

You turn your back to him and march back to your own car, hating yourself for dragging your ass all the way to this fucking bar again, only to have him mock you. You rush back into your car, knowing fully well that there’s a big chance that Jimin’s still observing you, so you can’t allow yourself to cry. You were not even sad, you’re genuinely pissed, but unfortunately you’re an angry crier.

You could run over him if it wasn’t a crime. As you are about to connect the keys to the ignition, you hear a soft knock on your window and you just know it’s him. Rolling your eyes, you turn your head in Jimin’s direction and he gestures, asking you to roll your window down.

You do as he says and hiss impatiently. “What?”

“One last fuck and we’ll forget about each other”, he licks his lips in an obvious attempt to make you feel something.

Unfortunately, you do. But fortunately, you’re pretty good at hiding your emotions when you really want to. So you just throw your head back and let out a very ironic laughter.

“What’s so funny, Y/n?” He asks you, with a piercing look in his dark eyes, tilting his head to the side slightly.

“I just told you you were the worst mistake I’ve made, man…” You let out another laugh, less energetically. “Are you into degradation now? I’m not really into that kind of kink, sorry”.

“Oh, come on, Y/n. You fucking love angry sex”, he declared in a lower tone, with a raspy voice that he knows makes you feel things.

He has a point, you do love angry sex. As you keep silent, Jimin continues.

“Let me take you to my place, it’s just around the corner…” his eyes focus on your lips as he speaks. “Let me fuck you, until you forget why you’re mad at me. You know how good I am… Just this one last time, then you can go back to pretending I don’t exist”.

You do know how good he is. You hate to admit, even if it’s just to yourself, but he’s more than good. Your sex life with Jimin has always been great, actually, that’s why you got even more hurt when he cheated. You used to think you were enough for him, that you satisfied him as much as he did to you. Apparently not. And that broke your confidence and self esteem in a way that you’re still trying to recover.

You’re pissed at him, but you can’t deny that you’re still insanely attracted to this motherfucker, regardless of your history. Your mind desperately says no, but your but urges you to say yes.

“Why would I say yes to this ridiculous proposition?” You scoff, trying to mask the fact that this is you already starting to give in.

“Simply because you know you want me to fuck you”, he declares with a knowing smirk.

The way he’s looking at you right now is definitely not helping you to stay focused on maintaining your sense of dignity. His plump lips slightly parted, forming a deliciously attractive dirty grin, his eyes intensely glued onto your own lips as he waits for your answer. You can’t deny how magnetic he feels.

He leans further in your direction, cupping your face with one of his hands, running his thumb over your mouth. You are simply unable to stop yourself from delicately parting your lips, taking his thumb between them and sucking it softly. He lets out a heavy breath, locking his dark eyes with you as your skilled tongue runs along his finger.

“Let’s go, babe”, he almost begged this time.

He didn’t have to ask you again, unfortunately. He opened your car door and next thing you knew, he was dragging you up the stairs of his building until you saw yourself inside his small apartment.

As soon as you were inside, he pushed you against the front door and started kissing you hungrily. Just like the last kiss inside your place last night, it feels like Jimin is hungry for you, it feels like he can devour you right then and there. His tongue tastes yours with desperation, making it difficult for you to breathe. One of his hands lands beside your head, on the door, and the other travels up your body, from your waist to your boobs.

The kiss is messy and intense, not only for him, but for you too, your mind can’t seem to focus on anything other than Jimin. It feels like time and space aren’t real when you’re with him, just like it was then.

Reaching for the hem of his shirt, you tug it in order to get rid of it as quickly as possible, getting rid of yours in the middle of the way too.

“You missed this, didn't you?” Jimin places your hand on his abs as he whispers with a cocky grin.

“I think you missed these much more”, you reply with the same amount of cockyness as him, guiding his hands to your boobs.

“Oh, I fucking did”, he whispers again, mouth already glued to your neck as he kneads your breasts.

In the back of your mind, a little annoying voice tries to warn you, saying you will regret this later. But, honestly, who gives a fuck? Life’s hard enough for you to worry about future regrets. You’ll hate yourself for fucking Jimin when the times comes, right now, all you want to focus is on his devious tongue and the crazily good patterns it’s drawing all over your neck. You’re so lost into Jimin’s magic that you don’t even realize you let a moan escape your lips driving your ex even more mad.

His mouth is back on yours and he pushes you towards the couch sitting in the corner of his small living room, throwing you carelessly against it. His tongue is already pushing his way between your lips, you close your eyes, focusing only on the intensity of Jimin’s kiss. It feels like you’re back to the beginning of everything, this kiss feels like what it felt like kissing Jimin for the first time. The passion is still there and you will deal with it later.

“Let’s get rid of this, shall we?” He asks you, pulling the strap of your bra down, almost not waiting for your nod of approval.

You both sloppily get rid of the rest of your clothes, tossing them carelessly on the floor of your ex’s living room. Next thing you knew, he had two fingers in you and your nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked your nipples in a passion that had you gasping and his fingers were bent inside your thoroughly wet pussy. He knows exactly what he’s doing with his fingers and his mouth, he knows exactly how you like it and that’s why it feels so good. Being with someone who knows you and what you like is so much better than spending the night in a stranger's bed like in the countless one-night stands you’ve had the past few months.

“You’re so fucking wet right now, babe… It’s ridiculous how much you want me to fuck you, huh?” He teases you, lips brushing lightly against your already sensitive nipple as he speaks.

You let out a loud moan this time, staring back at his intense black eyes, and nod.

“I do, Ji”, in a distressed attempt for grounding, you scratch his back with your nails, not minding if it’ll leave him marked or not. He gasps and you continue.

“Please, just fuck me, Ji-”.

“Of course, babe, anything you ask”, he cuts you mid sentence.

He pulled his fingers out of you and, before you could whine about it, he shut you up with another messy kiss, but also full of desire. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted both your bodies up, switching places with you on the couch. He positioned himself between your legs, making the tip of his cock touch your wet and throbbing folds.

“Rid me, Y/n”, he asks you, half tenderly, half assertive. “Show me how much you miss me”.

You felt something inside you shake. This is so fucking wrong.

But without thinking too much about it, you let your weight down on his cock, feeling the delicious stretch all at once. Both of your breaths falter, basking in the divine sensation of him being inside you.

Your hips started moving on their own, as the pleasure started to consume your mind completely. You had your eyes on Jimin’s beautiful face, now fully taken over by lust, darkening his features in an irresistible way. His plump lips parted and he moaned, making you forget completely about everything else around you.

Your movements were starting to become desperate, feeling the way his cock fills you up completely, as he tries to pick up your speed with his own skillful hips. Both of you were loudly showing how good you can give it to each other.

His hand travels up your body, as he lifts his upper body to reach the back of your neck. He sticks his tongue out and licks the side of your neck, the warm and moist sensation makes you close your eyes instantly.

“If you don’t take it slow, I won’t last much longer, babe…” He whispers, as he grasps your hair tightly. “Can I take over now?”

You hum. You love being in control, but you love it even more when Jimin is in control. He instantly switches positions with you, thrusting hard the moment your back touches the couch, in a slower, but deeper pace compared to how you were riding his cock just now.

The intensity of his thrusts have you clenching around his cock. Shaky breaths leave both of your lips, both of you too focused on the ecstatic feeling of being together. The sounds of your wet pussy being snapped against his cock, his balls slapping against your naked ass mixed with your moans and pants.

“I could…” He thrusts you one more time, deeper than before. “Fuck this pussy forever”.

You feel your walls clenching tighter around his cock, not missing a single inch of his length being pushed inside of you.

“Look how… how good you take it, babe”, he groans in your ear with his cock buried deep inside of you.

You feel his cock twitch and another moan escapes his parted lips. You’re both almost out of breath. You know he won’t last much longer now if he continues to hammer you in this intensity. Your body tingles with pleasure with every single thrust of his hips.

At this point, you’re just a moany mess. Your heart is racing and in every pump you can feel the adrenaline flowing through your veins. Jimin’s thrusts start to become desperate and out of pace, while you can feel the burning sensation building in your lower stomach.

One of your hands travels to your clit, your head snaps back when your fingers finally touch your throbbing sex, feeling the divine sensation spreading throughout your body. Jimin replaces your fingers with his own, with a cocky grin hanging on his swollen lips.

“Fucking slut, look at you…” Moving his fingers in circular patterns as he pants and thrusts and gazes at you with his dark, lusty eyes. “You still like it messy, huh?”

“Ye-”.

Before you could finish, the electric sensation takes over your whole body and all you can focus on is the pleasure taking over you. You whimper as the orgasm spreads through your veins, screaming Jimin’s name. Clenching even harder around his dick as your pussy spilt out your juices all over his twitching cock.

He bites your shoulder and you feel like he’s on the brim of cuming too.

“Ji, I- I want you to fill me up”, you whispered in between your pants. “I want it all”.

“Y-Yeah?” You know he’s struggling to hold back by the sound of his shaky, low pitched voice. “Are you gonna take all of it like the good girl that you are, babe?”

You want him so bad. You want to feel everything you missed out on in the last months away from him.

“I will, Ji, please”, you looked at him, eyes pleading as you gave yourself completely to him. Once again.

He thrusted deep inside of your pussy one last time, allowing his orgasm to take over him and cuming deep inside of you, painting your clenching walls white. Both of you are too out of breath to move, so you just take your time breathing and trying to recompose yourselves before Jimin pulls out of you. Sweat covering both of your naked bodies on a weekday afternoon.

You closed your eyes, feeling the tiredness and soreness, but also the delightfulness and the lingering sensation of pleasure. This motherfucker was right, what you two have is not easy to find. This chemistry.

You open your eyes when you feel Jimin’s body weight being lifted up from yours. You take your time looking at him and he is still just as beautiful as you remember. Not just hot, that’s obvious. But he’s also beautiful like very few men in the world are.

He sees you’re staring and smiles cockily.

“Too handsome, huh?”

“Unfortunately, I have to agree”, you roll your eyes, almost playfully.

He laughs softly and throws himself on you again, laying his head between your breasts and hugging you. It’s ridiculous to admit, but it just feels right.

Both of you remain silent. The only thing that can be heard are both of you trying to catch your breaths, but you don’t even pay attention to that. You’re nervous. There are so many questions you wanna ask and even though this feels right at this moment, this man made you suffer like hell not so long ago.

“Ugh, I don’t wanna get up”, he declares in a lazy voice, his face still between your breasts. “You almost make me want to miss work”.

You sigh. This is too much, too domestic, too nostalgic, but you want to be right here, exactly like you are, in his arms. All the things he said to you yesterday flash through your mind. How he said he missed you, how he begged for you two to talk and you refused to listen. You were hurting so much you couldn’t see through the pain and resentment.

“I’ve missed this”, you finally confess in a whisper.

But you’re sure he could hear you, because his arms closed even tighter around you.

“Me too, babe”, he murmurs the answer.

Your hand travels up to his silky hair, running your hands through his locks. You’re not sure how long you just stay together like that, enjoying each other’s existence silently, but you finally break the silence.

“We still have a lot to talk about, don't we?”

He lifts his head to look you in the eyes. “Do we?”

“You think we don’t?” The protesting tone was clear as you voiced the question, specially because you didn't find anything genuine in his eyes when he asked you that question.

“We don’t”, he averts his gaze, laying his head almost between the crook of your neck and your shoulder.

“Jimin, look at me…” You try to sound as firm as possible, but it sounds more like a plea than a command.

“Baby… Just- Let’s not do this”, he whispers. “I can’t”.

You lift your body with your elbows so you could look at him, making him untie his arms around you and sit as well.

“What do you mean, Jimin-ssi?” You try again, speaking slowly so your nerves don't get the best of you.

You don’t want to believe that this is true. He can’t treat you like you’re some random booty call.

“Hey!” He tries giving you an obviously empty smile. “What happened to Ji? I prefer when you call me Ji”.

Also sitting up, bending your legs in order not to touch his anymore. The way he’s speaking to you right now, the way he’s looking at you with empty eyes and an empty smile. You know where this is going and you feel sick to your stomach with the idea that you allowed Jimin to get in your head again and, once more, you end up hurt.

“And I prefer when you tell me the truth!” You raise your voice now, trying to find on his face any signs that you might be wrong.

“I thought I had made myself clear when I said I have nothing to tell you”, he states firmly, averting his gaze from yours. “I have already asked you to forget about this”.

You feel a huge lump in your throat, trying your best not to allow the tears to form in the corner of your eyes. You are not crying in front of Park Jimin ever again. You refuse. Even though it hurts just like it hurted before, you’ll save your tears for another time.

“Really? After fucking me, you’re just gonna ask me to get the fuck out of your life like nothing happened?”

You watch his face contort, like he was profoundly thinking about what to say next. You suddenly see his expression change and you know this is his sassy snarky side taking over, nothing serious comes out of him when his eyes reflect his darker side like that.

“I was horny, you were horny. I thought it was clear it wasn’t a bargain”, he still doesn’t look at you while he speaks. “It was just sex”.

And he shrugs. It’s clear to you that this shit’s been a fucking joke to him. A sick fucking joke you never expected him to be capable of. This is not the Jimin you spent years with, the one you loved, the one you wanted to get married to at some point in the past.

His words cut through you. Just sex.

You hate everything about this Jimin.

“Of course it was just about sex… I’m sorry if I misunderstood the situation, Jimin. ” You push his legs aggressively so you can get out of the couch. “Excuse me, I wanna leave”.

You start collecting your underwear and clothes from the floor of his stupid house, trying your best to block the tears away. You dress yourself hastily, while Jimin watches you in silence. You head for the door, but he holds your arm lightly, trying to stop you.

“Hey, Y/n… Don’t be like that, I’ll feel guilty”, he pleads softly again.

“Get your hands off of me”, you groan between your teeth without turning to face him. “Also, fuck off”.

He lets go of your arm and you leave his apartment as soon as you can, slamming the door behind you. You rush back to your car and drive away as fast as you can, only allowing yourself to cry your anger and pain out when you’re tucked in bed later that day.

#jimin angst #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin fic #jimin fanfiction #jimin fanfic #jimin series #jimin smut #jimin au #exes to lovers #bts fanfiction #bts series #bts fic #bts fanfic #i hate everything about you #bts smut #bts x reader

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eleni-cherie · 1 year

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among thieves ✨ || bts • pjm

- epilogue

"what even am I to you? your rival, your lover, an obstacle or am I supposed to be your coffin?"

about two thieves who can't live with nor without each other. and a joint past that comes back to threaten them.

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, very flirty jimin, friends/rivals/exes to lovers (it's complicated, ok?!) f2l e2l ex2l all members play a role in this story!

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

several years later

Tainan, Taiwan

Jimin took a sip from his ice coffee and flipped a page in the book he was reading.

The evening sun was bathing the building in a warm shade, a comfortably mild summer atmosphere being created. Some children ran through the streets to get to the nearest park with lots of laughter and screams. Almost bumping into two women who were chatting while carrying their groceries.

He turned another page when sensing someone taking a seat on the free chair on the other side of his table. He didn't need to look up to know who it was though. The café being not overly crowded, and he had already seen him enter from the corner of his eye.

"You finally found me."

"Who said I ever lost track of you?"

Jimin perked up with a lopsided smirk, arching a brow at him. "What took you so long then?"

Seokjin laughed out, shaking his head. "Choosing a country that isn't an interpol member to settle down.. you knew what you were doing."

Closing the book on his lap, he took another sip from his coffee.

"Oh, is that so? I just came here for the nice weather," he said innocently, a small chuckle leaving his lips as he looked at his former antagonist. It felt strange somehow, having him simply sit there casually next to him without him trying to arrest him. Who would've thought a day like this would ever come. "And how comes you pay me a visit now?"

The older man shrugged, leaning back in his seat. "Been awhile since the last time I saw you, so I thought why not spending my vacation here?'"

Jimin nodded understanding and smiled at him. "And how've you been?"

He shrugged. "Oh, you know.. after you guys became inactive, it became quite boring."

"Aw."

"No, that wasn't a compliment."

"It sounded like one though."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Seokjin sighed, "But you know, it became boring and you know, I ain't getting younger either. So after I got married, I decided to take it easier and stepped down from the leader position. I focus more on paperwork now."

Jimin's eyes widened in shock as he straightened himself. Unable to imagine some random office sitter in the leader position. "And who's the leader in the theft divison now?"

"Blake."

"Oh!" he exclaimed and relaxed into his previous position, "I can see that. She always seemed eager to prove herself to you."

"And she did."

"Kinda sad for Jungkookie though, isn't it?"

"Nah," Seokjin waved at him, shaking his head, "He never was interested in that position. He still works there with her though."

Jimin couldn't keep himself from laughing at the thought of Skylar and Jungkook together and her giving him orders while he obeyed like a good subordinate. "You know, I always felt like the two were into each other and ever since I tried setting them up.."

A teasing grin spread on Seokjin's features. "Since when are you so invested in other people's love life?"

He only shrugged and dragged a dramatic sigh. "Can't help it, I'm such a romantic."

Seokjin laughed under his breath. "To be honest, I sometimes felt the same," he admitted then, "And I still think it whenever I catch them looking at each other. Perhaps it was their professionalism that kept them from going further."

"Or perhaps they're just dating in secret."

He perked up at this, seeing Jimin wiggling his brows at him. "You think so?"

"I might or might not have my sources."

The older man laughed out, nodding. "Well, good for them then."

"But wait!" Jimin exclaimed then, suddenly having processed something else. "You said you got married? To Yongsun?"

Seokjin's eyes widened, realising he had indeed mentioned it. He bit back a smile, confirming it again with a quick nod. "Yeah.."

"And I wasn't invited to the wedding?" Jimin faked offence to which Seokjin grinned.

"Figured you wouldn't have wanted to get arrested."

"True. But since you only met her thanks to me, I still think I deserved it."

"It surely wasn't thanks to you.."

"Now, don't be so unfair," Jimin pouted, "You wouldn't have been at that ship if I hadn't planned to steal the 'black star'." He was referring to the party a CEO of one of the biggest korean companies had thrown for his wife's birthday two years ago. And that wife had happened to own a very valuable black pearl, which she was wearing on a spray brooch and which the gang had been after. "So technically, I deserved an invitation."

Seokjin groaned in annoyance, getting tired of their quarrel. "You know what? I take it back. It's been great since you retired. I finally got some peace."

"Rude considering I practically introduced you to her."

"You didn't 'introduce' her to me!" Seokjin objected with a laugh, "You pushed her on me when I was running after you!"

"Still counts - you're married now, aren't you?" Jimin pointed out with a sly grin.

He wasn't able to disagree with that. So he gave up with an exhausted sigh.

"So?" Seokjin coughen then in hopes of changing topics and looked around. "And where's the rest?"

"Thought you had kept track on all of us."

"I did," he corrected, "But since interpol doesn't have any resources here, it wasn't too easy and there're some gaps."

Jimin hummed, stirring his coffee with the straw.. "Well, Taehyungie and his wife live nearby."

"You mean Cassandra?"

"Oh, you even got her name! Impressive!"

"Aish, stop with the sarcasm! Of course I know all your associates! I hunted you guys for years after all." Seokjin rolled his eyes before adding with a smirk, "And I was pretty good at it."

Jimin couldn't stop laughing, finding it always amusing how his opponent reacted when getting upset. "Never doubted your skills."

"So the two live nearby."

He nodded. "Yeah, she works at a hospital here."

"And Yoongi?"

"Right now, he's at one of the temples in the mountains. Meditating, training or whatever," Jimin snorted, drinking the last bit of coffee. He always found it quite lame whenever Yoongi got in one of his 'monk moods' - as Jimin called them - every few years and just disappeared for awhile to disconnect from everything. But perhaps he was just a little envious of that skill, since he himself could never do it. "But knowing him, he'll be back in the city in a few weeks."

Seokjin hummed. The corners of his lips shaping a cocky smile. "Needless to ask where Arabella ended up, right?"

"Right," a grin tucking on Jimin's full lips. His glance falling down to his watch then. "I'm actually waiting here for her. She should come any minute now."

"To be honest," Seokjin began then with a light frown on his soft features, "I always knew you guys would retire some day. I just assumed it'd be along with me."

"Well, you know we aren't in our early twenties anymore and besides.. some priorities shifted with time."

Seokjin hummed. Understanding it in a way. After all, same applied to him by now. Still he couldn't help wondering what priorities had changed for Jimin and why.

A black Harley Davidson came to an abrupt halt in front of them then. Arabella taking her helmet off, her hair swaying as it fell over her shoulders.

"Bella-baby, you're late!"

"I said around six, not exactly. Not my fault you came here too early," she huffed. Her eyes widening when spotting the man next to him. "Pops, you here?"

She was actually quite happy to see Seokjin again, having kind of missed him - as weird as it sounded. She had been so used of having him always on their back, it was weird it wasn't the case anymore.

Seokjin, however, didn't seem as pleased. The old nickname cuasing him to roll his eyes. "Seriously, when will you guys ever quit calling me 'pops'?"

"Probably never, it's your nickname for a reason after all."

He laughed under his breath. "You never told me the reason though."

Arabella and Jimin exchanged a look, giggling. "Isn't it obvious? You were always running after us and scolding us. Like a dad."

"And you're older than us, so it fit."

He was speechless for a moment. In a way that stupid nickname that he had secretly grown fond of, made sense. It was even somehow cute, in a very weird and twisted way. He coughed then, feeling his ears becoming red. "I've got to go now," he announced and stood up, "Can't let Yong wait alone for too long. See you guys." He waved at them as he walked away. Only to shortly turn around then with a smirk. "Oh, but before I forget.. You don't coincidentally know anything about that stolen jade statue that is all over the local newpapers?"

Arabella and Jimin looked at each other, before giving him an innocent shrug. Shaking their heads. "No, why would we? We're retired now, remember?"

"Right. Right," Seokjin let out a loud laugh. Not being convinced at all. "Well, see you then."

As he disappeared around the corner, a frowned settled on Arabella's features. "He didn't buy it, did he?"

"So what?" Jimin shrugged and picked up his book, shoving it inside his jacket. "He can't do anything about it as long as we don't leave the country."

They might've officially retired a few months ago, but that didn't mean they'd be dead. After all they'd never be the kind to be content with a 'normal' life. Even if there was no one to hunt them anymore, neither from interpol nor from any organization - Namjoon and Hoseok having liquidated 'owl inc' and its branches only a year ago - they still wanted to keep the excitement, thrill and fun. Just in smaller portions here and there.

"Anyway, let's go."

Arabella tossed him the second helmet before putting her own on and he got on the bike behind her. His arms wrapping around her waist, purposely way too high to be closer to her boobs and she rolled her eyes. Already used to his attics.

She switched the ignition button on, her foot kicking up the kickstand. "By the way," he spoke up then, propping his chin on her shoulder with an arched brow as he curiously looked up to her. "Don't you think it'd be better not to drive the bike for now? You know, because of the.." His eyes pointed down at her belly before returning to her.

She kind of wanted to be annoyed at him for even suggesting this, but then again she understood his worries. She pecked his cheek. "When the bump starts showing, I will," she smiled and squeezed the clutch lever all the way to the grip. His arms tightening around her.

And they drove off.

THE END

»»»

-thank you all for reading this story! it was fun writing something totally new for once, so hope you also had fun reading it!

❗ the sequel a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg is out as well!

❗the prequel "a thief's origin ✨ || bts • kth" along with one shots for jungkook and seokjin are in the works!

- check out my other bts stories, too: here

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girl8890 · 2 years

Text

Jin | Unwanted Reunion (I)

Summary: Once pining lovers from the past, unmated but soulmates nonetheless. Fate brings you two together after all this time, and catching up on all that you’ve missed stirs feelings you want to shove away from your being. For Seokjin, on the other hand, those feelings have never been able to leave.

Pairing: Demon King!Seokjin x Human!Reader

Genre: demon!au, soulmates!au, royalty!au, exs-to-lovers, smut, fluff, angst

Rating: 18+

Warnings: unwanted kiss, reunion of past lovers & friends, pining, groveling, past sexual encounters, soul binding, near death experience, attempt & success at murder, blood, death of a minor character, jealousy, possessiveness, sexual dreams, implied masturbation (m & f), heavy petting, nipple play, body worship, vaginal fingering, dry humping, hand job through clothes

Teaser

。・°°・°°・。。・°°・°°・。。・°°・°°・。

When Jimin first told you he got a new tattoo, you thought nothing of it. Not even when he fidgeted like a nervous kitten about it. It wasn’t until you saw said tattoo, that you knew it wasn’t put there by ink and needle. You’ve seen enough mate bonds when you were with your ex… boyfriend? Friend? Whatever… to know that this specific marking was not made by a tattooist. You knew, because you also once thought you would have the same mark with a different letter inside eventually.

No… this marking was put there by a demon.

Not just any demon, to Jimin at least, but one he mated with. Had sex with. And apparently had mutual love with.

That was the only way to gain the marking. By having sex with a demon that loved you and you loved them. With all of this knowledge of yours swirling in your brain, you still can’t get over the fact that Jimin—your best friend of over ten years—fell in love with a demon right under your nose. You were doing so good at not getting involved with any demon business since you and… him… split up. Even while you were directly involved with said business you were able to keep your family and friends unaware of the fact that demons existed.

“How?” Is all you ask Jimin once your shock of seeing the mark has wore off. But even as you state your single worded question, your eyes can’t remove themselves from the almost skin colored blossom filled circle with the letter T inside.

Jimin nibbles on his bottom lip. Trying and failing to keep the secret you once also had to keep. “I don’t know what you mean. How I got it done? I just walked into-“

“No, Jimin. I mean how did you fall in love with a demon!”

Jimin is shell shocked when you reveal your knowledge of the deathless beings. Him clearly not knowing that you knew. “Y-you—you know!”

You roll your eyes. Hating that he ignored your question, but answering his anyway. “Yes, Jimin, I know. Almost had one of those marking myself once upon a time.”

You gesture to the marking on Jimin’s neck, and he subconsciously touches itwhile looking at your neck. Like a marking similar to his would suddenly appear on it.

“But who would— Seokjin.”

You shut your eyes at the sound of his name. The person that once filled your heart with so much joy, now just a name that fills you with nothing but agony. Jimin knows about your past… lover? He was the one you went to crying about him all those years ago, and he was also the one to help you put all the broken pieces of your heart back together. He never met him, though. You wanting to keep the few people you cared about in this lifetime out of the dangerous world of demons.

Looking back, you don’t think it was fair of you to just skip out on the person that claimed an undying love for you, but it has also been almost two years since you saw him. Leaving his kingdom with blood all over you, and nothing but nightmares in your wake. You loved him at the time, sure, but once you finally got a good peak at what it would be like to be together with a demon you were ready to leave. Leaving behind a shattered heart, as well, when you told Seokjin you were leaving.

It was good that you left. You needed to leave. The others would never accept their demon king to be mated with a lowly human, like yourself, anyway. To the point blood was spilled for you, and that was something you never wanted to be your life. You didn’t want the responsibility of someone’s death, even a demons, to be your life. Packing your bags, and thanking the heavens that you didn’t sleep with Seokjin when temptation rose so many times.

“Yes…” You say after a moment to answer Jimin’s question. “He was a demon, and that’s in the past now. More importantly, who did you mate with? Is he your soulmate?”

Jimin raises a pointed eyebrow at you, confused by a part of your words. “Soulmate?”

You shut your eyes and sigh in annoyance. Of course whoever this demon was didn’t explain to him the entirety of Jimin’s new-lifelong-situation. Forget the mysterious and secret type. You being the one that was always being kept secrets from even if you were promised a part of their lives.

You explain to Jimin everything this demon undoubtedly didn’t tell him. That demons had soulmates, and it was very rare for humans to be their soulmates. Even more rare that they can successfully mate with them, since the premise of eating their soul was always on the table. But here Jimin is, alive and still has a soul. You knew that meant something, at least.

But the explanation doesn’t stop there. When a demon has a soulmate, they get possessive over them. What yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine type of thing. It’s even worse if the soulmate pair become mates, because then the pair is forever trapped with each other. It won’t affect Jimin, since he’s a human, but you bet your bottom dollar that the demon he mated with is somewhere hiding in the shadows inside your apartment right now. Watching Jimin with two black eyes.

You scoot closer to Jimin on your couch, when you start to explain the feeling they get from being away from their mated pair. Something you barely understand yourself, but try your best to explain “Basically, if a mated pair is away from each other for to long, it hurts them. Like, in the heart or some shit. That’s why mated pairs usually stay together always, but since you’re human you don’t have that problem.”

Jimin subconsciously looks around your apartment, expecting whoever his demon mate was to suddenly appear, but the coward stays hidden in the shadows—for now.

“B-but Taehyung didn’t tell me any of this! I don’t want him to be hurt, but I also don’t want to stay in that kingdom forever, either! I have school t-to finish and work to start a-and-… shit.”

Jimin sighs, and drags his body against the couch in defeat. This is what demons do. They trap lowly humans like Jimin and you, promising an amazing life, but once the entirety of that life is explained to you, you understand why most humans die in the hands of a demon instead of fall in love with them. For not being willing to give up their soul, or for this situation, their love.

You put your hand on Jimin’s knee, trying to sooth him. “It’s alright, hun. Maybe he’s different. Maybe this Taehyung won’t-… wait a minute. Did you say kingdom?”

Jimin said a lot before, but you didn’t realize until now that he said he would have to go back to the kingdom. There’s only one kingdom that you know of when involving demons, and it doesn’t just house the demon king, but also his close lackeys.

Jimin looks at you confused, not really in the mood anymore to talk about such trivial things like kingdoms when you basically told him his life maybe over. “Yeah… Taehyung lives there. Brought me there, and introduced me to the king. Why?”

You feel anger bloom within you first. Squeezing your eyes shut, and balling your fists when realization dawns on you. If Seokjin is involved with this, there’s no way this demon simply mated with Jimin without telling him everything first for no reason. You stand up, making Jimin jump by your sudden action, and you look around your apartment living room like you’ll suddenly be able to see the demon you’re looking for.

“Come out here!” You demand. “I know your there, so stop hiding like a little bitch!”

No one appears, making your blood boil even hotter as your furry flows through you. Jimin, on the other hand, is cowering in his spot on the couch. He’s never liked confrontation. You on the other hand would welcome it if necessary.

You decide your going all out to get the demon that screwed your friend over, and you grab onto Jimin’s hand and hoist him out of his seat. Surprised the demon doesn’t come out by just that action, but your not stopping there to get its attention, anyway. Jimin is staring at you wide eyed, and you know he’s about to be very confused after you do what you plan to do.

With the grab of his face, you pull him in to place a fat kiss right on his lips. Jimin squealing under your hold and wiggling around in your arms.

You know Jimin’s gay, and you don’t have a single attraction tendency for him, anyway. Sure, he’s attractive, but right now it feels like your kissing a sibling instead of a loved. You aren’t kissing him for long, though, because within seconds of your lips touching your lips are forcefully getting torn apart by something with nonhuman strength.

You get pushed against the couch, harshly. And after the whiplash wears off you look up to see a demon with black eyes, currently gray skin, and brown close to shoulder length hair keeping Jimin behind him and far away from you. You know he only looks like this because he’s angry, but out of all knowledge about demons one things always for sure.

Their possessive of what they think is theirs. And with that mate mark on Jimin’s neck, this demon, Taehyung, doesn’t like you touching his “property.”

“Don’t fucking touch him,” Taehyung growls at you.

You smirk up at the demon, feeling victorious even though he’s starting at you like he wants to tear your heart off. You put your hands up, faking surrender. “Surly. I’ll never touch him again once you explain why the fuck you’ve involved yourself with him.”

Taehyung squints your way, the color in his eyes and skin melting away as what he normally looks like comes back. What was once full of only black reveals brown human-like eyes. And what was once gray on his skin is now a sun kissed tan.

“Huh?” The demon has the audacity to look confused.

It’s Jimin’s turn to take his anger out on the demon. He jumps out of Taehyung’s tight hold, and puts himself in between me and him.

“Why didn’t you tell me about soulmates? Are we even soulmates?”

Taehyung’s once mutually angry demeanor diminishes once he sees Jimin’s close to tears expression. He reaches out to touch him, but Jimin swipes his hand away. Making the demon frown at his actions.

“Yes, Jimin, we are. I was going to tell you…” Taehyung makes work of looking at you accusingly. “But the king said to wait.”

Jimin squints, confused at Taehyung while I stare at him wide eyed. The demon looking over at me and telling me silently that he knows. Of course he knows, though! If he lives with Seokjin, then of course he knows about the human women that was once being prepared to be queen over them all. A life you left two years ago, and still today plan on staying away from.

But then there’s Jimin’s life…

“What does the king have to do with this?! Why does he care at all about me and you?”

Taehyung just keeps staring my way, and I know the answer to Jimin’s question because of it. That conniving bastard. How dare he involve my friend in all this! To, what? Get me back? As if!

I look away from Taehyung at the same time Jimin follows his line of sight to me. Jimin slowly putting the pieces together of why his life has suddenly been flipped upside down.

“Y/n… is King Jin, Seokjin?”

Your hands squeeze into white fists when you hear the nickname you gave him spoken out loud. Seokjin coining it as his new titled name when you were living with him, and keeping it that way after you left. You sigh, trying to breathe through your frustration and headache this all just put on you.

“Yes, he-… the king is Seokjin.”

Jimin’s jaw drops when you confess the connection between you and the most powerful being in the demon kingdom. Not liking how he’s suddenly fidgeting because he thinks he needs to bow or some shit like Seokjin used to make everyone do when they greeted you back when you lived with him.

“I-I-… I’m shocked!”

You roll your eyes. “Really?”

It’s Taehyung’s turn to interrupt. Him being most likely put in the dog house after all of this has been revealed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Chim.“ What the fuck is that nickname? “But what the king says is law. I told you what Jin is capable of, and he used it against me and you to get to her. I-… I’m sorry you were involved in all of this.”

Jimin’s once vexed expression overturns when he faces Taehyung. The demon looking defeated about what he could not help, and you honestly believe it. The second he said he had no choice against Seokjin, you believed every word. He would always try to keep you out the heat of his fury by keeping you out of the “business meetings” altogether. But one day your curiosity got the better of you and you saw how far the kings abilities stretched.

Him being able to cause pain or kill others with just a look, and the threats of doing that being just as affective. Demons had many unique abilities, one being the ability to pop in and out of places whenever they pleased. Another being they can stay invisible to humans, and even rip their souls out of their chests when given permission—unless they kill them first, then they don’t need permission.

But Seokjin, he was the king. He’s lived as the king for a long time, and was handed down the powers of his father when he died all those centuries ago. One being the simple wish of someone’s death can happen within a blink of an eye.

You shiver when the nightmare of seeing that in person opened up in your mind. The sad part being the first time you saw it didn’t elevate you to leave. It wasn’t until that death was because of you that you left altogether.

After going through all these thoughts on your own, you look back at Jimin and Taehyung and grimace when you see the two making out. Whatever they said to each other while you were daydreaming about the past obviously being enough for Jimin to forgive him.

“Not that I discriminate, but-“ Jimin pulls himself off Taehyung when he hears you talk, and looks at you with a reddened face. The two of them forgetting you were even there while their tongues were tangled. “I prefer not to see my best friend get a hard on in my living room, thank you.”

Jimin looks at you with a glare full of death, and Taehyung smirks behind him. Grabbing onto his hand, and looking at Jimin like he holds the world in his hands.

Your heart aches when you see that look. You once had that look pointed at you from a demon and you remember like it was yesterday learning the extension of the love that look possessed. How endless a demons love could be, and how even after death they would stay loyally in love with you. So many mantra and quotes like that swirling in your head suddenly, and you shake your head when the person that told them to you appears in your mind.

Not wanting his angelic, handsome face to fill your mind anymore then it has today already. Not how beautiful his eyes were that when he looked at you it always made you swoon. Or how pillowy soft his full lips were when you two…

Ugh! Get it together!

“Alright!” You say, jumping out of your seat. Jimin and Taehyung look to you at your outburst. Jimin looking concerned, while Taehyung looks like he gives two shits less. “He wants to meet. Then will meet.”

Taehyung smiles triumphantly, while Jimin now looks more perturbed. “What! Y/n, no. You can’t do that. You haven’t seen the guy in years. What if this is all a trap to get you back?”

“Oh, it definitely is. It’s clear as fucking day that it is, but I’m not just going to let him mess with my friends lives either. He wants to meet. Then will meet… I just won’t be so full of sunshine like I was last time he saw me.”

Your gears are turning, thinking up all the ways you’re going to curse him out and Jimin is watching it all happen in front of him mortified.

“What! No, you can’t-“

“Chim, the king wants her. He didn’t give much specifics, just that he wants her back in the kingdom. And that he would…” Taehyung cuts himself short there. Like even uttering the threats or what Seokjin said would happen was too hard to say.

Jimin looks between the two of you conflicted about weather to console his lover or convince you not to go. In the end, he sighs in defeat. Whispering a “fuck,” under his breathe because he doesn’t know what else to say.

You slap your hands together, getting both of their attentions again. “Let’s get a move on, then. The sooner I can get this unwanted reunion over with the better. What’s the worst he can do, anyway?”

Kill you. Force you to stay with him. Threaten Jimin’s life if you don’t do what he wants.

And the lists goes on, and on, and on, but no one says anything as you all get ready to make the jump to Seokjin’s kingdom. You grab onto Jimin’s hand, not taking the offered one from Taehyung because even thinking about touching a demon makes your skin crawl, and you feel the dark energy consume your being when Taehyung starts the jump to another dimension.

Within a blink, all three of you leave your apartment like you weren’t even there to begin with.

———

When the black fog drifts away, you find yourself in the entrance hall of Seokjin’s castle, and your stomach drops to your fucking ass.

You forgot all the emotions being in this place used to stir in you. How you would get so excited about learning about all the artwork that was carved into every wall and ceiling. How you used to find it so fun to glide across the smooth granite flooring like you for ten, and the person you did this all with making your stomach do flips instead of sink.

You don’t know why you thought you would be so confident being here because now that you’re actually here your feeling dizzy. Letting go of Jimin’s hand to hold your forehead and wanting to pass out from all the nerves that shot through you.

Jimin turns to you instantly, his eyes widen when he sees you’ve become pale. “Y/n, are you okay? I know traveling that way can make some feel-“

“It’s not that,” You say with the wave of your hand. “I-it’s this place… a lot of emotions building from being here.”

Jimin looks guilty now, him being the only reason you’re here in the first place and if you weren’t so anti-violence you would smack it right off his face. You try to force a smile, but it turns into a frown when a sudden wave of nausea hits you after a hearing a friend of yours from so long ago speak.

“Welcome home, Y/n.”

You turn around to see a currently bowing Yoongi, one of Seokjin demon warriors. He’s been close friends with Seokjin for longer then either of them cared to comprehend, and he just so happens to be the loyalist of them all. One of the few who gave you any respect, and didn’t secretly threaten your life when the king was nor around.

He stand up from his bow, eyes shifting into black for a moment. You swallow even through your throat is dry, and wave awkwardly at Yoongi. “Hi, Yoon.”

The demon grins when he hears the nickname you coined him when you two first met all those years ago.

“It’s been far to long, my… it’s just been far to long.” You heard what Yoongi decided not to say. My Queen. A title that would have been your right to have if you and the demon king mated, and you hate how your body stiffens when you realize this. Thinking about the what ifs and being in the place you once called your home is not helping your resolve at all. Before you could go through another dizzy spell for all this swirling in your head, Yoongi speaks again. “The king has been expecting you. Taehyung, Jimin, you two can stay here. I’ll escort-“

“No.” Resolve is back. And your not playing by Seokjin’s games. “I’m not staying in a room alone with him.” You grab onto Jimin’s shaking hand to clarify that, and Taehyung’s eyes widen when you defy the elder demon in front of you. But Yoongi just smiles, not taking offense to your interruption or lack of understanding. You being one of very few he would allow this of.

“Ever the difficult one. Aren’t you, Y/n?”

You hold your ground, not paying attention to the wide eyed and scared Jimin next to you.

“Ever the vague one. Aren’t you, Yoons?”

You both crack a smile at this. You can’t help yourself. It’s like not a day has gone by since you saw your friend. The game of trying to up the other with words playing out just like it used to all those years ago.

But then your smile falls, realizing what Yoongi is doing. He’s reminding you of everything you left behind. Wanting you to enjoy your time here, and maybe even stay for the familiarness over everything else. You weren’t. You won’t.

“I stand at what I say. I’m not seeing him, or even being near him, alone. Jimin comes with me or will both leave together.”

Taehyung quiet gasp is heard behind you. His reaction this time being about the fear of losing his lover, and said lover stiffens beside you, but you pay them both no mind. Standing your ground as you look to the demon you once called your friend.

“I’m not sure if-“ Yoongi cuts himself short, and you see his eyes move back and forth as they swirl with darkness. Having a silent conversation with most likely the man of the hour himself.

Another ability some demons have is the ability to read minds. If two demons can read minds, then having silent conversations like this is possible. You would have be very old to obtain a power like that, though. Something you used to make fun of Seokjin adequately about.

After a moment, Yoongi sighs. “Alright. You can bring the other human. Taehyung stays here.” He sends a pointed glare Taehyung’s way, and you don’t understand what the hatred is for hidden behind those eyes. “Come with me.”

Jimin’s hand squeezes your own, and then you both follow silently behind Yoongi. You try to ignore Taehyung’s sudden and loud gritting of teeth as Jimin gets taken away from. Each step closer to Seokjin’s office had you begin to sweat and your heart beat in your ears, anyway. The memories of how happy you used to skip this way to him flooding your mind, and further making you sweat for different reasons.

The things that went on between you and Seokjin in all parts of the castle were rather… lewd. But you never went all the way. At the time you always got frustrated when Seokjin didn’t let you you two go all the way. To complete the mating ritual that was so tempting, but now your grateful you two didn’t.

You suddenly feel weird about that fact. Seokjin could have trapped you with him for life if you both just did what was so alluring to you both instead of hovering around it. But he didn’t. It definitely wasn’t for the lack of want, you’ve been proven by him enough times with his tongue and fingers to know he wanted you, especially when what was hidden underneath his pants rutted against you in the process. But still, he never pushed it further. Not even when you begged like a whore for him, or let him push his head inside you just to tempt him yourself.

You shiver at the remembrance of that day. When you both were sweaty, in his bed, and naked. He pushed you to two orgasms already, and he was so close to striking his own resolve away to just fucking you already. Pushing the head of his cock in between your widely spread legs, and the little stimulation blew your mind.

You can’t be doing this. You can’t be remembering these types of things, or any good times you spent with him. This is how he traps you. This is why he chorused you into coming. It’s just extremely hard not think of the past when every place you step is a reminder of the past.

When the three of you make it too the office door, you push all the positive memories aside. As a last resort, even though you haven’t imagined this day so clearly in quite sometime, you think about the day it all went to shit as Yoongi knocks on the door.

Seokjin doesn’t need to ask who it is because he already knows. You hear his smooth voice carry through the door, “Come in.”

The door is opened by Yoongi, and instead of looking anywhere in the room you stare right at the floor in front of you. Remembering the tragic day that had you running out of these doors four years ago…

———

You don’t remember why you decided that day to come to Seokjin’s office unannounced. In fact, you felt you should have never been there in the office even while you push open the door. Last time you were in here was when you accidentally saw him kill a demon with a snap of his fingers.

It’s okay, though. He explained to you why the demon needed to “go,” but it still haunted you to see the blood poor out of the unnamed demons eyes and nose. The second your eyes locked in on the scene in front of you that day, Seokjin had you both swirling in smoke and transporting you both into a different room.

He was shaking with worry, and Seokjin doesn’t worry. He doesn’t contemplate things that have not happened yet, but in that moment he thought you would want to leave him forever. Even if the demon he killed was a a bad guy. One that thought killing a whole school of children was a good way to gain power. That’s how demons gained their power, after all. If not from being handed down power from their parents, then from consuming souls of mortals.

You forgave him for that. You held him in your arms and consoled him of his worries. But right now, standing outside the office you once did on that day, you feel that familiar sting of fear in the back of your head. Like you shouldn’t be entering this office right now.

You shake your head front the thought, remembering that no one but Seokjin and his youngest lackey are probably in this office at the moment, and then you push open the door without announcing yourself. You never needed to. Seokjin just always knew it was you.

Your smell, he said one day, was the reason he always knew. It always had a rose undertone to it, and one that he’s never smelt before. He would say it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever smelt, and then he would ask you to never change. Never wear perfume or change what you do because you as your natural self was gorgeous as is.

So you push open the door with a small smile on your face for the joy of thinking you’re about to see your lover, but are disappointed when you don’t see him and instead see his youngest warrior.

Jungkook, the youngest demon in Seokjin’s kingdom, and the one who hates you the most. As your time here has lengthened, less and less people have decided to hate you. But Jungkook was not one of those few. Being young, and easily manipulated, he followed suit of his own father to think humans are nothing but batteries for demons to use to charge. And the fact that his king, the one he looks up to and wants to learn from, is soulmates with a human boils his blood.

The young demon scowls at you, and you try not to ignore the weight of knowing it’s only you and him in this room right now as you ask, “W-where’s Seokjin?”

He hisses at you, and it has you stumbling back a step. “What the fuck do you care? He’s not here and neither should you be.”

You straighten your posture, not letting this demon make you feel inferior just because Seokjin is not around to make everyone that defies you or him feel smaller. You never felt smaller around Seokjin, so you shouldn’t around this demon either.

“No. He asked me to meet him-“

“Ha!” You balk at Jungkook’s loud laugh, interrupting your words.

“What’s so funny?”

Jungkook’s smirk stretches to an irregular shape, and your two seconds away from running out the door because of it. “Your funny, little girl. To think Seokjin would ask you of anything but to spread your whore legs for him, makes me believe your lying.”

You raise a pointed eyebrow at him. Shocked and appalled by what’s he’s saying. “Well, your an asshole.” It’s Jungkook’s turn to looked shocked. “And yes he did. The maid came to me and-“

This time, you cut yourself short. Thinking back about the maid that summoned you here she looked… off. Almost possessed even. At the time you just played it off as her having an off day, but now that you see Jungkook’s gruesome smile you’re suddenly realizing your situation.

Jungkook was one of few demons, Seokjin included, that can manipulate other demons mind’s. Jungkook was second in line for Seokjin’s throne if he didn’t create an heir, so he had this ability as a high ranking demon.

“Looks like the sheep has finally realized her predicament.”

You don’t waste any time. Spinning on your heels you run towards the door, hearing Jungkook’s cackle of laughter behind you. Just when your hand clamps around the handle of the door, everything starts to turn black around you. The black fog of Jungkook’s mana surrounding you.

You scream bloody murder when you feel your skin start to heat up. A heat that is suffocating you, and making your screams turn into choked sobs. Falling to your knees and you try to look through the fog to find some light, but all you see is darkness. Each lung full of air you take feels like it’s laced with poison, and you start to spit out blood.

Unlike Seokjin, Jungkook’s abilities are much more slow. He can kill you, but it would take time. Something you find way scarier then just the blink of the eye killing, and for the first time you feel what it’s like. To slowly feel yourself die, and hearing a cackling laughter as you do.

You start to cry as you fall completely to the ground. Cradling your legs to your chest like it would somehow protect you. Each intake of air isn’t helping you stay alive like it should, but you push to keep your eyes open.

With one last resort, you yell for Seokjin. It comes out grumbled and a balk of blood comes out of your mouth as you do so, but you say his name nonetheless. You cry out his name because it’s the only person you can think of to save you, and he’s the love of your life. The person you want to be with for the rest of your life.

You want him to take care of you, and sleep next to you. You want to always be by his side, and have him tell you the stories about the carvings in the walls. You want to hear him tell you he loves you one last time, and have him smell your hair when just the whiffing of air around you isn’t enough. To feel his lips against yours just… one… last… time…

And that’s what you think about as everything turns black. Seokjin holding you close to him, your lips joined together and you whimpering when his tongue touches yours. Him chuckling against your lips from the knowledge of how easily your affected by his kisses. Then he would detach his lips from yours and tell you,

“I love you always.”

That near death experience should have been the worst of your day. It should have been the worst thing you ever witnessed or experienced, but it wasn’t. No. The worst thing you ever witnessed or experienced happened when you opened your eyes.

First, you’re surprised your not dead. You seriously thought you were a goner after Jungkook grabbed a hold of you. But your not. Your alive and your vision his slowly becoming clear as you smell the scent of blood in the air.

You think, at first, it’s your own blood. That the blood you spit out earlier was the culprit, but as soon as your eyes clear you see in front of what’s actually creating that metal taste in your mouth and nose.

Blood everywhere.

Blood on the walls, ceilings, and every piece of furniture in the room. It’s like someone painted the whole room with blood, and thought it looked nice enough to stay like that. It’s seeping out of every crevice of the room, and you gag at the overwhelming amount of it that you see and smell.

Your naïve enough to start patting your own chest, thinking it’s yours at first until you hear the person’s voice you thought about before blacking out behind you.

“Y/n,” Seokjin says in crying moan.

You turn around, thinking your lover will be able to explain what has happened here, but once you see him your at a loss. At a loss because you didn’t need to ask.

Seokjin has blood all over him. In his hair that you love to run your hands through, on his lips that you love to kiss, and on his clothes that you find yourself always nervously taking off. It’s all over him… but it’s not his blood.

You raise to your feet, staring at him wide eyed and jaw dropped. He takes a step forward, and your heart stings when you take a step backwards out of fear. Seokjin’s own eyes widen for a second, and you see his throat bob as he swallows.

“Y/n… this isn’t… he was going to hurt you.”

You didn’t need him to explain it. You didn’t need to explain that you were the cause of the young demons gruesome death because it was now painted everywhere. You don’t know why you didn’t expect any different. You don’t know why you didn’t expect any different from the king.

Maybe it was because you trusted him. You trusted him not to hurt other’s on your behalf, and that his possessiveness was only because he loved you. But right now, as your look at his bloody hands, you feel sick to your stomach.

Your the reason Jungkook is dead, and you love the murder to death.

———

You blink away the horror of a memory, and try your best not to choke on a sob. Smelling the air now is like you can still smell the metallic liquid everywhere. After that day, when Seokjin apologized to you over and over again for having to witness such a thing, you made a decision that would change the way you saw your future forever.

You left. You left because you didn’t want blood on your hands ever again even if it wasn’t you committing the murder. Even if the man went to attack you, kill you even, the knowledge of knowing he died so young and so gruesomely haunts you. You haven’t allowed yourself to think about that day for a long time, but you grab onto it as you and Jimin walk into the room, and you turn to see the person that still somehow makes your heart skip a beat every time you lock eyes.

“Hi Jin.”

Seokjin’s eyes lock with yours the second you allow them too. He stands from his chair as you walk into the room, and you hate the shiver that’s wanting to course through you when you see his face again.

The way he takes in your form, starting at your feet and ending at your eyes when they met for the first time. His ears twitching when he hears you say his nickname out loud for the first time in two years, and being so close to begging you to say it again, or worse... say his real name instead.

His heart sores at having you so close to him again, and you miss the way he quickly takes in a sniff of the air. Your rose aroma lighting up his senses and making him want to pull you into an embrace so he can sniff up your smell even more. How he’s longed to have you in his arms again, and right now you're no more than a few steps away. He can easily take a few steps forward and entrap you in his arms, but as much as it pains his heart to not do so he stays standing where he is.

You don’t know any of this. You don’t know any of what Seokjin is feeling because for one you can’t read his mind, and for two you're to distracted from seeing the person that once owned your whole heart in front of you.

He’s still as handsome as ever. Still beautiful in every way, and it doesn’t feel like a day has gone by since you saw him last. You remember being so starstruck when you first met him over four years ago, and you wondered how it was possible for a person to look so angelic.

You fingered out how two years later, when the angelic face you’re currently looking at revealed himself as anything but an angel. You want to smack yourself for staying with him after you were given that knowledge instead of running for the hills and seeing the red flag for what it was. The red flag that demons were anything but sexy. But you still see the man in front of you as what he is. As beautiful.

And you hate yourself and him for it. For him being born with looks that would make any girl gladly drop their panties for. You swallow down the increasing amount of saliva in your mouth that forms when he smiles at you. Wanting to run up and punch him in that pretty face of his for still being able to affect you like this.

“Hello, Y/n.”

You sharply take in air when he says your name. Suddenly all the ways he used to moan your name in your ears awakening in your mind, and you clench your jaw because of it. Scowling at the demon king.

A silence stretches, and you and Seokjin don’t take your eyes off each other for a single moment. You wonder if he’s read your mind just now, something he promised so long ago not to do but you’ve come to realize he’s bad at keeping promises, and you hope he has this time. Your hateful thoughts for him filling up your mind, and you hate him even more that when he frowns at your scowl you somehow still want to sooth him.

Jimin squeezes your hand, taking you out of your staring contest with Seokjin to look at your fearful friend. You sigh, bringing yourself back to reality but still holding onto the hatred you’ve convinced yourself you have for the demon in front of you.

“You wanted me here, now what?”

Seokjin chuckles at your straightforwardness. Loving and missing how you never feared to tell him how you truly felt. Soulmate bond aside, he thinks he would have fell for you even if it wasn’t there to begin with. Everyone was always afraid to tell him the truth about how they felt. Fear out of him killing them for speaking their minds, or for being tortured until they changed their minds.

This was a fear brought down on him from his father. To unpopular belief, and your past encounters with Seokjin making you think otherwise, Seokjin only kills others that rightful deserve it. He doesn’t kill others for having opposite opinions or even standing up for themselves. Justice in the demon world is very straight forward. You do something wrong, slap on the wrist. You break a law to the point it almost destroys everything the demons have created, then you die. There's no second chances for those who disturb the universal peace.

There’s only been one time that Seokjin ever killed for sport, and it was to protect you, but he knew it would come at a cost. Even before he ripped the young demon prince to shreds, he knew it would cost him his relationship with you. He wanted to be the man that you deserved and didn’t let his born with trait of being possessive and protective over you get in his way, but he couldn’t stop himself once he saw you the way you were. Dying and crying out for his help. So, he did what he promised you and himself he would never do. Killed someone—demon—for touching you like the possessive bastard he is.

And he doesn’t regret it. Losing you, yes, but never saving you. You're still alive today because of him, and he hopes having you back here will help you remember that fact about Seokjin. That he would always save you no matter what the cost was. Even if the cost was your love for him.

Seokjin steps forwards, closing the big gap between the three of you by five feet and you stiffen in your spot by the increasing proximity of the two of you. “Yes, you're here. Did you miss it?”

You raise a curious eyebrow at his dumb and sudden question. Of course you missed this place! But you’re not going to be telling him that. “No. I didn’t miss it no more than I missed you.”

Seokjin winces at your words, feeling them cut into his heart but he tries to remind himself you’re just angry and don’t mean it. You can’t mean it because your his soulmate and that type of love is never changing.

You feel a little guilty for your harsh words, but you stand your ground on the matter without blinking. There’s was no way you were going to be nice to this guy, even if you still find yourself desperately wanting him to smile again.

“Why did you want me here, Jin? Why did you want me here so badly that you even affected my friend?!” You punch out your words one by one, and you hope it hits him right in the stomach like you know his answer will do to you.

Seokjin smiles... and it kills you.

“You know why, y/n. It’s been two years, but I know you haven’t forgotten who we are to each other...” You squeeze Jimin's hand to the point he winces, and Seokjin glances down at your conjoined hands. He feels the slightest bit of jealous for the boy next to you being able to touch you like that, but he puts it to the side when he remembers who he is to Taehyung.

Looking back at you, he softens his voice when he confesses, “I still love you, y/n.” You shut your eyes, thinking that would somehow make his words disappear with your sight. “And I know you still love me.”

Eyes open again and full of accusation. “What happened to never reading my mind?”

“So you admit that you still love me?”

“Absolutely not!”

Seokjin chuckles, thanking all of his years of knowledge about you for what he’s about to say next. “Then why are your ears red?’

You subconsciously touch your ears with the hand not still in Jimin's, and curse at yourself. One thing you and Seokjin have in common is that your ears will turn red if you’re lying, even if your mind hasn’t caught up yet that you’re, in fact, lying.

“It’s hot in here,” You explain, trying to breathe through the lie this time and not make your face red as well.

Seokjin glides his bottom lip through his teeth before he smirks at you. He steps forward, and your back straightens. He steps forward until he's only a foot away from you, and you clench your teeth when the proximity has your knees almost buckling underneath you.

He knows what he doing. He’s thinking he can flirt or bat his eyelashes into making you fall in desperate love for him again, but no way were you falling for it. You won’t allow him to get to you.

“Well, we are in hell, darling. And you're standing in front of the king of it.”

You scoff. “Is that your new way of flirting? Throwing around your title like it will some how get me back.”

“Who says I'm flirting?” That smirk on his face does, and you realize now he’s wanting this banter. He’s wanting you to talk to him, and react how you used to anytime these types of play fights went on with the two of you.

So, you ignore his question and ask him another. “What if I don’t want to live here again?” His smirk falls. “I left for a reason. A reason that very much involves you, so why, in all ways, did you think bringing me here would suddenly change that? You do know it’s been two years. I know you do. But in two fricken years you thought the best way to win me back was to trap my friend in a relationship, and then bring me here to... what? Win me back with your flirtatious tongue and pretty face?”

You feel your face heat up from your last few words, Seokjin’s smile kicking back up at knowing you still find him attractive. Also, this wasn’t Seokjin’s first idea. It feels like his hundredth, but in reality he’s only had three real rational ideas.

One idea was to just... take you. That was the worst idea, and one that still pains him to think about, but it was an idea nonetheless. To claim you as his while you still loved him, and keep you with him forever. Once that toxic idea simmered down, his next idea of talking to you in person was brought up.

Seokjin has secretly looked over you for the past two years a lot, and some of those times he wished he didn’t. The day he decided to reveal himself to you, to talk to you and convince you he’s not a bad guy and still loves you... you were on a date. Seokjin knows if he were to even say the guys name you wouldn’t remember, since that date was the first and the last time you ever saw him, but it was still a date. A way for you to get over Seokjin, and in return break his heart further.

Seokjin isn’t a very jealous person, but he finds himself always jealous of the people you allow close to you besides him. It never got to the point where he wanted to control you, that’s not who he is. But when he saw you on the date with that guy, he wanted to rip him to shreds. He wanted to kill him for gaining the attraction of you like he once did, and then devour his soul so there was no chance of another one of him in the future.

Seokjin got very depressed after that. He didn’t leave his room because if he did he was afraid he would go and kill the guy, and then prove you right that he was exactly like his father and all the other blood thirsty demons he’s executed in the past. It wasn’t until a whole month had passed that he finally left his room, finally calm and able to breathe, so he decided he had to be creative with his next plan.

It just so happens that on that exact day, Taehyung, his newest demon recruit to his castle and the youngest, admitted he found his soulmate. He said a lot of regretful things to the young demon that day. A lot of regrettable threats that he knows he will have to apologize to him one day for, but it’s all worth it if he gets to say to you the words that make you react the way you do.

“No. That’s not how I'll be winning you back because I know you. You're not someone who can be toyed with, or deserves to be either... It’s just-... I’m desperate, y/n. I’m desperate for you because I fucking love you, and it pains me to the fucking core that I made you so scared of me that day that you left me. I just—If you could just-…Please just give me one more chance. A year tops, please.”

You don’t even realize you’ve let go of Jimin’s hand until Seokjin is finished speaking. Your heart, stomach, fucking brain cells feel like they all are about to explode! You’re surprised even when a tear leaks down your face, and you allow Seokjin to place his hand on your cheek and wipe it away with his thumb. He takes his hand away right after, but you don’t miss the way you both shivered at the small contact.

You swallow over the lump in your throat, trying and failing to keep up the tough girl act as Seokjin’s sweet words till echo in your head. Seokjin has always been so good with words, and you had a feeling that if anything were to destroy your resolve of never staying here again it would be Seokjin's incredibly beautiful words.

Words he only always said to you.

“One week,” You say in response, and Seokjin smiles with teeth and all.

“I’m charming, but I'm not that good... six months.”

“One month.”

“Forever.”

You roll your eyes, and find yourself cracking a smile when he chuckles at his own funny way of make this deal seem less like a business venture. But a deal with the devil it still is.

“One month... Seokjin.”

You’re a little devilish too because once his name on your lips registers to his ears, you could have said a day and he would have blindly said, “Deal.”

———

A few things happened on that first day in the kingdom, one of them being that as soon as this deal was set, Jimin was “suddenly” needed to be somewhere with Taehyung. You called bullshit, but you let him go nonetheless because you know from experiences that the best place for Jimin to be is with his soulmate—who just so happens to be a demon too, and why you’re in this whole mess in the first place, but you’ll continue yelling at the pair about that fact later.

Seokjin luckily had a meeting to go to, and that just left you by yourself… mostly. You once lived in this castle, so you thought maybe Seokjin just trusted you to know your way around the place.

WELL! No more than an hour later, you realize what “being left on your own” meant for you for now on. It meant a barely concealing himself Yoongi was around. As soon as you felt his presence, you were in one of the hallways that the bedrooms stretched through. You stopped in your tracks, rolled your eyes, then yelled out into the not so empty hallway, “You can come out at any time!”

Yoongi then popped his head out behind a sculpture, his invisible cloak of power falling off of him. You smile at the blonde headed demon, and wait in your spot until he stands next to you. The you both continue on your re-tour around the castle side by side.

“I maybe just assuming somethings, but it seems like you were following me,” You say with an accusing raised eyebrow, and thinned out lips.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I said no, would you?”

“Nope.”

“Thought so.” You chuckle at Yoongi’s way of just easily getting around the subject. You secretly wanted to ask if Seokjin set him up to do this, but you didn’t want to seem like you-

“Yes, he very much did.”

You sputter at his invasion of your head. Smacking him in the shoulder for good measure. “Don’t do that!”

Yoongi just shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal, but then he lays on you an accusation thats very much a big deal. “Why do you care if Seokjin thinks you like him?”

“Because I don’t. You all know I don’t want to be here, so showing any bit liking his way would be futile for me.”

You both hit a sharp turn in the hallway, and Yoongi looks at the back of your head like you’re crazy. Out of all demons, Yoongi doesn’t really care much about human. He doesn’t care if there around or not, just as long as they stay out of his and his kings way, and currently, you’re in his kings way. Making him freeze all important meeting for the next month as we speak.

Seokjin didn’t tell you this, of course, but he doesn’t want a single distraction when it comes to winning you back. That includes meetings like which clan gets which part of earth to feed off of. Seokjin is the one to make those decisions, but since he’s going to be putting it on hold for you, Yoongi would rather push this little drama fest a long as much as possible. “But you do love him.”

You stop in your tracks again, breathe through your nose, then turn to face your demon friend. “No. I. Do. Not! ... Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Huh, I don’t know. Maybe because A, I remember what you two were like when you lived here—disgusting to watch, by the way—and unlike Seokjin I don’t give a shit about what you think about reading your thoughts.” You’re about to tell him that you don’t think anything of the sort. That he’s clearly reading someone else’s mind, but then he leans in closely to you and says, “So an seven inch dildo was the closet in size, huh?”

Your jaw drops and your face becomes as red as a tomato.

Yoongi looks at you with a neutral face, not even giving you time to explain or hit him as he continues to walk forward and yells back at you, “Yup. So not in love.”

Okay, so, he was clearly talking about the toy you bought and what you... bought it for. It was weak moment for you. A couple of months ago you started to feel very low, and your dreams of Seokjin suddenly become a regular basis thing. You were lucky that after you left and got settled, that your mind was only consumed with thoughts of Seokjin at night maybe once a month, but out of nowhere it became an every night thing.

You hated your head, and you hated your body for reacting in such a way when the dreams became sexual. It got to the point that you manned up and bought a fricken sex toy to satisfy yourself. Thinking it would help with the dreams at least a little bit. Seven inches being the best you can find and best to compensate with your dreams. But those dreams don’t mean you love him still. There's a difference between sexual attraction and love. One of which you think you’ll sadly always have for the demon king while the other one you kicked out of your headspace a long time ago.

Just when Yoongi turns a corner to leave you there alone in the hallway, you shout at him, finally getting over the shock of what he said, “That doesn’t mean I love him!”

“What doesn’t mean you love who?”

You jump, crying out, “Jeaus!,” and spinning around to see an already smirking Seokjin. He has his arms behind his back, and you have a feeling by the way he’s looking at you right now that he heard your entire conversation.

You wipe at your face like that will some how remove the very prominent blush on your face, then stutter out a unconvincing, “N-nothing.”

“Mhmm,” Seokjin says as he leans in closer to you. “Sure it was.”

You roll your eyes, and cross your arms in a pout. Not missing the way Soekjin’s eyes flick downwards toward your breasts popping out of your shirt now when the action pushed your breasts upwards. You also don’t miss the way you feel the smile grow on your face because of it. Stupid ass emotions. Always making hating other people more difficult!

“Have you found your way around, okay?”

You roll your eyes again, and turn to continue on your track of wondering around the castle. Seeing in the corner of your eye a still grinning Seokjin walking next to you.

“Yup. I did live here for two years, in case you forgot.”

Seokjin chuckles at your attitude filled answer, “Trust me, la mia rosa. I have not forgotten.”

You turn you head to the other side, shut your eyes and trying your best not to stutter when you demand, “Please don’t call me that.”

Seokjin bites his bottom lip, trying to stop his smile from growing. “Why would I do that? I also haven’t forgotten how it used to affect you.”

La mia rosa. Translating from Italian to English it means my rose. A name that used to turn you into a puddle of goo when he called you that, and he nor you have forgotten said feelings it brought up in you.

You turn back to face him, ready to lie through your teeth and say it’s not like that anymore, but once you turn Seokjin has put himself mer inches away from you. Clearing any words that were going to come out of your mouth. You back up, and he follows with each step. It’s not until you hit a wall that he stops in his tracks, but you have to look upwards more to talk to him directly. His already tall frame making your neck also have to stretch and reveal your neck to him.

Seokjin’s eyes are drawn to the smooth surface of you neck. A place he remembers drawing out the symbol of his mate mark on, but never pushing himself to do so. He watches a single drop of sweat drip down your neck, and he’s so tempted to wipe it clean for you. To touch your skin again and feel one of many favorite parts he enjoyed kisses and nipping to the point you would wither underneath him.

It isn’t until you whisper his name, suddenly sounding like your mouth has gone dry, that Seokjin’s eyes flick back towards you. He moves forward, and you’re helpless to let his nose trace your own. Breathing in sharply when you feel a part of his you used to love admiring so close to you. Unable to control yourself, your eyes flick down to his lips. His plush lips so close to touching your own, and you have to hold yourself back from falling into them. His lips are just so-

“Say it again,” Seokjin begs of you.

You blink up at him, staring up at him through your eyelashes and suddenly feeling ten times hotter then you were a few moments ago. “W-what?”

Seokjin smirks, and for the first time since seeing him again you’re not mad at him for it. His close proximity is dizzying, and making you forget everything you promised yourself. “I said, say my name again... please.”

You swallow, glancing around the hallway. But each time your eyes move they are trained back to his own. It’s like a vortex. You unable to look away, but feeling like you shouldn’t be around the destructive pools. The please is what gets to you, though. It’s asked so gentle, and almost like he’s dying to hear you say that singular word as much as he needs air to breathe. You lick your lips, whimpering when his nose slides across your forehead next.

“Please, la mia rosa.”

And now you’re helpless not too.

“Seokjin.”

The demon sucks in air through his teeth. Such a small gift from you has made his once dying heart shutter at the sound. Seokjin has dreamt about you so many times since your departure from his life, but never, not once, did you call him by his real name in his dreams. It became a torturing affair. Just a few months ago the dreams would repeat themselves and then slowly started making him restless.

You would be in his bed, and the dream would always start and end the same from there. He would think it feels so real. That you've come back to him and want to complete the ritual of making you his mate. Seokjin wouldn’t hold back because he was desperate for you. Waiting two whole years—no, six years to finally make you his in every way has made him this desperate. But then, when you would speak, it wouldn't be of his name.

Always Jin. It's a nickname you gave him, and he adored it, but it wasn’t his name. Even if he asked you to say it, you wouldn't. No matter what the scenario, you would never say his name.

So right now, Seokjin is a mess. He falls to his knees in front of you, not caring if anyone were to pass and see their king in such a lowly state. He’s embracing your middle, and you freeze when you feel his two strong arms wrap around you.

“Oh my god, what are you doing?” He stays silent. “Seokjin?”

And then you hear weeping. Crying against your stomach is the mighty demon king himself because you said his name. Not that you forgave him, or even want to be with him again, but you simply being here—being real—and saying his name has broken the demon king right down the middle.

“I've waited for you for so long,” Soekjin says through a sob. “Fuck, I've missed you so much... You have no idea how much it hurt to be away from you.”

Your eyes widen, replaying his last words. He said something earlier about being in pain for not being by you, but you just thought it was him being dramatic with his sweet words. Now, as he withers on his knees in front of you, you know what he says is completely real.

Most of your relationship with Seokjin revolved around you finding out information about the demons soulmates and mating rituals through small hints. But one thing that has you holding back a sob is what he just said to you. Something you know will happen for sure if the two of you were to ever....mate.

“H-hurt you?”

Soekjin nods against your stomach, inhaling your sweet smell like it’s his lifeline and squeezing his arms tighter around you. “Yes, la mia rosa. Hurt so fucking much.”

“B-but I thought... but we never...”

Seokjin understands what you’re implying, and he sighs against your stomach. He was a terrible person when you two were together. He kept so many secrets from you, and with that mixing up your knowledge of his world with it. It's true, if you two were to mate and complete the bond between the two of then it would pain Soekin to the very core of him to be away from you. It’s one of the reason why he never pushed completing the ritual because he knew you would hate to have someone so obsessed with you. It was even one of the first things you told him after he portrayed his possessive tendencies the first time.

One man walking down the street whistling at you, and Seokjin was ready to rip his throat out. It wasn't until you slapped him in the face, and told him to calm the fuck down that he was fine again. Black eyes turning brown, and gray skin turning white again.

But the thing is, you don’t need a complete the mate bond for a person to feel pain from being away from the other person they love. No, this has to do with Seokjin’s love for you. His undying devotion towards you. He doesn’t need a soul or mate bond to tell him he never wants to be away from you because he has enough pure love for you to know he would never want to be without you again.

“This isn’t the mate bond, y/n.” Soekjin whispers against your stomach. He looks up at you at the same time you look straight down at him. Your eyes meeting and never straying from each other. “This isn’t the soul bond either.”

He takes you hand at your side, and places it on his heart. The rapid beating of it under your palm making your breathing stop altogether.

“This is because I love you always.”

———

A few things happened on that first day in the kingdom. Yes, a few strange but heartwarming things. You ended up sitting there with Seokjin, feeling lighter than air, for what felt like hours. Some moments were filled with silence, while other’s were formed with chatter of all the things you've missed from each others lives.

It was hard not to let go of the past when Seokjin was literally on his knees and confessing his feelings to you all over again. You even made it a point to tease him about it eventually, and comparing it to the first time he told you he loved you.

It was the same day you found out he was a demon, but before that whirlwind of knowledge he decided to lay on you a whirlwind of emotions. You never saw Seokjin shed a tear before, but he cried many happy tears that day when you told him you loved him back and that you have for awhile. Seokjin is a very emotional being, but sadly he only ever feels safe enough to express those feelings when with you even to this day.

It’s crazy to think of everything that’s transpired since then. How many heart aches and heart throbs you and Seokjin have went through, and put on each other. One gut wrenching thing being having to ask where your room was, since you never really had your own room in the kingdom.

You know Seokjin was thinking the same thing as you. That you never had your own room because once you moved into the castle your spot was always next to him even while sleeping. But even after everything he’s literarily laid at your feet of emotions, you still can’t forgive him. Not yet, anyways.

It’s only been one day since you've reunited, and you're not letting go of what you promised yourself. And you continued to keep that promise for the days that followed. You stayed at a safe distance since the moment you two shared in the hallway, and kept yourself busy with walking around the castle with Jimin.

It wasn’t until one night, a week after you've arrived, that you find yourself breaking your promise to yourself once again...

It was a restless night for you. The plaguing dreams of Seokjin and you walking around the castle once when you first entered the kingdom all those year ago resurfacing out of nowhere. You luckily woke up before the dream of a memory got to the part where he kissed and pinned you against a tree that day, and you suddenly felt very thirsty.

You looked around the mauve room, feeling a chill run down your spine as the darkness makes the already dark interior more horror movie-ish. You shake your head, remembering the fact that you’re in a castle full of demons, and that the boogie man or whoever it is that comes out from under kids beds has nothing on your castle companions.

You get up from the bed, hearing the not very used mattress creak underneath you as you stand. You wonder why that room was even there in the first place, but when you brought it up in front of Jimin, Taehyung felt welcomed to tell you it was made for the kids future wife. If the king never found his soulmate, then most likely he would have to be a part of a loveless marriage and that would be the queens room. Knowing what that room was supposed to be used for, and that it’s you out of all people that get to sleep in it made you feel... honestly, you weren’t sure at this point.

You do know, however, that you're very thirsty. You walk to your bedroom door, about to roam down to the kitchens only used for human guests since demons didn’t need to eat real food, to get a glass of water. But your thirst disappears once you open the door.

With the pull of the wooden doors handle, a once sleeping Soekjin falls down with it. Him waking up instantly when his head hits the floor. You stare down at him, wide eyed and baffled that he was sleeping on the floor and against your bedroom door.

“Seokjin! What are you doing here?” You whisper yell at him even though no one else but you sleeps in this hallway that your room is located at.

Seokjin blinks up at you, suddenly realizing he’s been caught sleeping outside your room, and then stands up to his full length in the blink of an eye. He smooths out his black leather jacket that he’s still wearing since daytime, and tries to play off what he's been doing everyday since you arrived here as something new.

“I couldn't sleep.”

You glance around the room like it will have a better answer than the one he just gave you. “So you'd decided the best way for you to sleep was outside my room?”

He nibbles on his bottom lip nervously, and realizes there’s no real better way to explain this situation with anything but the truth. “I sleep better when I'm near you, and-... and I just wanted to be near you.”

His last few words are said in a a whisper, but everything is so quiet right now that you heard everything. Your hand goes slack on the door, and you feel your whole body deflate when looking at a desperate looking Seokjin. A look you’ve been seeing on him a lot lately when he’s trying to get your attention. Attention you've been trying to point at anyone and anywhere but him.

You sigh, and give into your resolve when the guilt of what you have been doing suddenly hits you. The man told you it hurts him to be away from you, and you’ve been trying to do exactly that. Now, that’s just cruel. So, with another breathe of a sigh and seeing Seokjin’s pouty look, you gesture your arm into the room.

“Just get in here.”

Seokjin smiles brightly when you offer him to come in, but he tries to cover it up right after by coughing into his fist. You try to hold back a smile as you watch him walk into your room, him acting like a smiling doofus about it and failing at covering up his happiness.

Before you could second guess yourself, or even think about how this is going to be incredibly awkward, you get back into bed and under the covers. Not facing Seokjin who’s currently standing on the other side of the bed. You quickly tuck yourself in, pressing the blanket high up to your neck even though your white oversized t-shirt, and blue Mickey Mouse shorts are not even close to anything sexy. You face the opposite wall and hold your breathe to hear what Seokjin is doing next to you.

It takes him a whole minute to move, but when he does you hear what sounds like a movement of clothing—him probably taking off his leather jacket from earlier— and then you feel the bed dip as he gets into bed. It’s complete silence between the two of you now. You could hear a pin drop in this room, but that’s expected when you both are supposed to be going to bed. But after what just transpired, not to mention you have your ex laying were inches away from you, there’s no way you’re going to sleep anytime soon.

Seokjin shifts in his spot in the bed, and you suddenly feel heat radiate against your back. You squeeze your eyes shut, hoping he’ll think you’re asleep, but he already knows your not.

“Y/n,” He whispers close to your ear, and you have to hold back a shiver when you fell his breathe fan your hair. “I know your not sleeping.”

You sigh, opening your eyes, but not turning to face him. “What do you want, Jin?”

He smiles when he hears you hiss out his nickname. Still as feisty as ever. “Can-… can I hold you?”

Can he hold you? Can he hold you. You should scream the answer no. Kick him out for even suggesting such a thing, but instead you say nothing. The silence stretches between you two, and you guess Seokjin took that nonanswer as a yes because then your feeling an arm wrap around your middle.

You stiffen when you feel his strong arm hold you, him resting his chin against your shoulder.

“W-what are you doing?” You know what he’s doing. He’s cuddling you, but what you don’t understand is why?!

Seokjin suddenly sniffs in your hair, and it takes everything in your power not to whimper when he does that. He used to love sniffing up your scent especially in your hair. Although to some that seems so weird, but to you it was always so adorable. Like he loved every part of you so much that he even loved the shampoo you choose to use.

“Nothing,” Seokjin says. But it’s not just a whisper like before. It sounds deeper, alluring even. You try to close your eyes again, but you can’t help yourself and peak downward when his hand starts to rub at your stomach through the shirt.

“Is this, by any chance, my shirt?” You can hear the smile in his voice, and it makes you want to kiss it off. I MEAN SMACK IT OFF! Fuck he’s making this hating him thing so hard right now.

It is his shirt. A shirt you stole from him before you left the castle the first time, but your not going to admit that to him.

“No, it is not your shirt.”

“Oh, really? Then who’s shirt is it?”

You try to think of a good enough answer. You could have just said it was yours and you have a liking of oversized shirts, but because your feeling like being a total bitch tonight for some reason you say something that you know will really get him heated, but at the same time isn’t a total lie.

“An exs.” Seokjin stops rubbing your stomach, and you smirk when you hear him growl close to your ear. “Should probably return it to him, actually. Been awhile since I’ve seen him.”

You feel Seokjin stiffen behind you, and you think he’s totally bought your somewhat-lie. But then he’s breathing out a sigh of relief, and your raising an eyebrow at the wall in confusion.

“It is your exs.”

“Huh?”

“Because it’s mine… trust me, I know my shirts when I see them. Especially since this is the only shirt that went missing after you… left.”

You shut your eyes when you feel yourself getting emotional from how he said the word left. Like it was painful for him to say it in the same sentence, so he had to space it out. Making it seem like you leaving wasn’t real.

“Maybe it is,” You mumble to yourself without even thinking, and even though he says nothing in return you can imagine him smiling behind you right now. It’s a smile you used to cherish so much that you can imagine each one of his straight white teeth in a row.

The silence stretches between the two of you again, and he’s resumed rubbing your stomach. All you can hear now is his breathing close to your ear, and it’s relaxing you to the point you feel your eyes actually slowly shutting to fall asleep. Just when you’re about to close your eyes again, readying the whole sequence of going into dream land, you feel a singular kiss against the back of your neck that has your whole body wide awake again.

You stiffen, and that singular kiss vibrates throughout your whole body. When you don’t say anything or even protest against it, Seokjin kisses the same spot again. Drawing out the press of his lips against you this time. You don’t move, and you don’t say anything. Instead, you shut your eyes and just allow it to happen. It’s been far to long since anyone has kissed you that way, and right now you’re too relaxed to care who it is.

Seokjin continues to press slow kisses against the back of your neck, and when he rounds your neck to kiss the side of it you stretch your neck to give him more access. He smiles during the kiss to the side of your neck when you do this. That you’ve finally just sercombe to letting him love you the way he used to.

Although, if your memory is correct, when he would kiss you like this it would lead to much more dirty and sensual things. You can’t let him do that. You shouldn’t let him push any further. This is enough freedom for him for tonight so you should really tell him to-

Seokjin slips his hand underneath your shirt at the same time he kisses behind your ear. Him kissing your sweet spot he knows so well at the same time his fingers dance across your stomach has you gasping. He continues to smile as he touches and kisses you, and now you’re practically shaking in his grasp. Your not sure if this is because you’re basically touch starved or if you actually like it, but you even let out a soft moan against closed lips when he nibbles at your ear.

He groans against you ear when he hears the first moan he’s coaxed out of you in two years. Dragging his hand up higher, so it’s right below your breasts on your sternum.

Without removing his face from near your ear, he whispers to you invitingly, “Do you want me to keep going?”

God, fuck, say no! Just do it! Rip off the brand aid and have him get off of you. Be the tough, strong girl you’ve been acting like this past week and get him away from you!

You may have thought all these things more then once, but instead you say in a small voice, “please.”

Seokjin bites his bottom lip, staring down at your restless expression from the side, and then he resumes kissing down your neck. With the slowest of movements you feel his hand that was once resting at your sternum traveling into the valley of your breasts. His wrist making contact with your already hard nipple, and you don’t hold back the breathy moan that comes out of you this time.

After a few more kisses at your neck, and a few other ghostly touches around your breasts, Seokjin removes himself from you entirely. You blink open your eyes and stare at the wall. You’re actually about to protest against him leaving you, but once you look to the side to look at him directly he’s going down your body and straddling your ankles. Yes, ankles.

His face is right at your now exposed stomach, and he places a soft kiss against the exposed skin. You bite your lips as you watch him cascade both his hands up your stomach and under your shirt again. When his hands finally cups your breasts, you arch your back up into them. Moaning as he pinch’s and press against your nipples with both hands all the while he continues to assault your stomach with kisses.

In between moans and explosions of pleasure, you look down at Seokjin and see his eyes already directed at you. It makes everything you’re already feeling right now ten times worse.

“Fuck, Seokjin!” You cry out when he twists your nipples with his pointer and thumbs. He groans into a kiss against your stomach, moving his face kiss yo your stomach faster then he did before. When his center reaches your leg, you feel his hard cock against your cafe. Now you know the magic word to get him going.

You say his name over and over, each one louder then the last. Just like you’re touched starved for love he’s starved for your whimpers. He ruts against your thigh, and you have to grab onto his shoulders to steady yourself—tilting your head back as you moan out his name again.

“Shit, baby, you sound so pretty. I missed your voice so much. I missed you so much,” You feel tears float down your face, and it’s because you’ve missed him too. You missed being this close to him, and talking to him, and just holding him. You missed all the things only your dreams allowed you to have for two years.

“mmm… I missed you too.”

With one last pull on both your nipples, Seokjin pushes your shirt up until both your breasts are exposed to him. He attaches his mouth to your left nipple. Nibbling and sucking on the bud as his hand pinches and twist the other one. You grab onto his hair—not too hard to pull it, but enough to keep him there. Not like he was actually going to go anyway. His tongue swirls the bud and your arching up into his mouth so he can some how take more of you.

If Seokjin could, he would consume all of you. He’s practically trying to suck your nipples right off your body, and making them feel sensitive to the touch. You’ve always been so sensitive on this part of you, and it just so happens to be his second favorite part of you to touch. His first favorite part being what’s currently extremely damp in between your legs.

“More, Seokjin. Please give me more!”

Your pussy is throbbing by now, and you want more then anything to feel his fingers inside of you… well, there’s one other thing, but you know he would never do that to you. He’s lucky to have you the way he does right now. He can wait a little bit longer to ask you to be his mate, and finally complete what’s been teased over both your heads for far too long.

Seokjin detaches himself from your nipple, smirking up at your fucked out expression. You don’t think there’s been a single time you’ve closed your mouth since he started touching your nipples. Having to lick your lips since they’ve gone dry.

“More? What could I possible do, that’s more?” Seokjin closes in on your lips. Hovering above the one place he has yet to kiss at the same time one of his hands touches your thigh. It’s all a losing battle. Everything with Seokjin against you is making you crumble into the bed, and you honestly forgot what it was like for you to try and hate him.

You never hated him. That’s why. Not for a single second. You were angry, yes. Upset, most definitely. But you never once hated him. Now it’s just a call of if this relationship is right or now, but at the moment you don’t care if it is. You just want him to touch you and kiss you until you pass out from oversensitivity.

So you say, “Anything you want.” And you mean it. You would give him your heart if he asked you right now, and you know he would do the same if his groan from your words means anything.

Seokjin smashes his lips to yours, and what starts out as a small whimper turns into a loud moan against his lips. The hand once on your thigh digging right under your shorts and stroking your clit immediately. As much as you want to enjoy the first taste of his lips you’ve had in two years, the stimulation he’s giving your clit right now is making it hard to focus on anything else.

He eventually does detach himself from your lips, biting his lip right after with wide eyes so he can capture everyone of your faces that you’re making right now.

“So beautiful, y/n. Your so pretty and so fucking hot… I bet your still tight as you used to be.”

You grab onto the bed sheets when his finger starts to slide across your entrance. The tip of his finger almost going in because you’re so wet from all the stimulation he’s been giving you up until now.

“I-I-… I haven’t…” You can’t even say it. But you want too. You want to make sure he knows the truth about what exactly this part of you has been doing the past two years.

“Huh? Couldn’t quite catch that, baby. Looks like you’ll have to say it again.” He’s smiling, and you want to kiss the smile right off of him. That’s right kiss. Forget your incompetence earlier, you want to kiss those plush lips until you can’t breathe anymore.

You swallow, trying and failing not to moan as his thumb starts to rub at your clit now. He’s really not making it easy to talk right now… or breathe… or even think!

“I said… I could n-never—fuck!—I could never find the right size!” You literally screamed your words as his finger finally enters you. All so he can stop again and look at you with a question in his eyes.

“Right size?”

You swallow, face heating up because you know what you’re about to say is either going to embarrass you forever or make Seokjin so hard he’ll cum in his pants.

“I haven’t been with anyone else since you.” Seokjin slowly nods his head in understanding. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t use… other things to fuck myself with.”

Fuck. You said it. And Seokjin heard every word—understood every word. You were right. He’s hard as a fucking rock to the point he needed to bite his bottom lip so hard it almost bled to not cum. A bunch of images of when you would play with yourself surfaced in his brain. He would stop watching you in the shadows immediately when he realized he came to secretly see you at a time like that, leaving the area altogether, but that didn’t stop him from jerking off into his pillow when he teleported home.

“A-and…” Seokjin coughs into his hand that’s not currently inside you, slowly moving that hand again too. “What would you think about when you fucked yourself?”

You tilt your head back, enjoying the slow pleasure he’s pressing into your walls right now. “That’s just it. I-it was never big enough to be real.” You open your eyes to look at him. “But I always thought of you.”

He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take the teasing from you any longer. Seokjin smashes his lips against yours again, and it’s like he’s trying to consume you as he does it. Attacking your tongue, biting your lips, not a single part of your lips or mouth was safe from him. And neither was your pussy.

Seokjin slips in a second finger at the same time he moves his legs in between yours. He’s now fully on top of you, and you feel his rock hard cock through his pants against your thigh.

Fuck you want him to fuck you. Fuck but you really shouldn’t. It’s an ongoing battle in your brain as his fingers fuck you so good, and you feel him hump his clothed cock against your leg.

You remember the first time you ever saw it. How you were scared shitless at thinking he would split you in two, but feeling lucky that he didn’t take you that night. It was just the night after that, and every night after that, that you were practically begging him to take you then.

Feeling him in your hands was a different experience. It was something you could never fit your mouth, but in your hands it felt like you controlled the demon on top of you by the literal balls.

So, while you two were still kissing, Seokjin had you clenching around two long curved fingers, and you snaked your hand in between your sandwiched bodies. You grab ahold of him instantly—since he’s not very hard to find—and swallow his gasp that soon turns into a rumbling moan.

Your only touching him through his lose fitted clothes, but Seokjin is so hard right now he thinks he’ll be cumming like a virgin soon enough. “Fuck, I missed your hand on me. Keep touching me, baby.”

You were going to say a sultry gladly, but then you feel his lips on your neck’s sweet spot again and moaned. You stroke his length with earnest. Wanting him to feel as good as he is making you right now. And your “feeling good” is about to hit its ultimate peak when Seokjin pushes another finger inside of you. Stretching you out and making your eyes roll into the back of your head.

You don’t even realize your hand has stopped stroking but still wrapped around him until you feel him start to fuck your hand. Fucking your juicy pussy at the same pace with his fingers.

“Fuck! Seokjin, I’m gonna cum!”

He continues to bite and kiss at your neck, fingering you relentlessly, and fucking himself into your hand as you ride out your earthquaking—no, shattering orgasm. You honestly have no idea how you’ve been able to satisfy yourself up until now because the orgasm that rips through you has you close to passing out.

Seokjin feels you almost collapse underneath him, and he pushes himself to completion. All he needed to do was feel you cum all over his hand, and grab ahold of your breast one last time to push himself there. Still grinding against your hand until his own orgasm ceases.

He slowly peels your hand off of him, and himself off of you. Gently rolling you both over so you’re right up against each other the whole time. You feel lighter then air. Someone could punch you right now and you wouldn’t be able to feel it. You do feel, however, Seokjin’s arms wrap around your middle again and him lay your head against his chest.

Just before you pass out from utter bliss, you feel him kiss your temple, and whisper against forehead,

“And now we have forever, la mia rosa.”

That’s not completely true, however. Because for Seokjin he always had forever for you. A forever love for you, and an endless loving soul to share with you. One that as soon as you give him the okay now, no matter how long it takes, he will tell you everyday what it truly means to be soulmates with a demon…

That he loves you always and forever.

Part two

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felicitywrites · 2 years

Text

fragments | jimin x reader [special #1]

synopsis: your heart sank to your stomach as you stepped out of your room, and right there in your kitchen was the last person you ever wanted to see again. he acted as though he still lived there with you, knew each and every corner like the back of his hand and you blinked harshly trying to convince yourself you were dreaming.

impossible. this is impossible.

what was park jimin doing in your apartment, in your own loose bathrobe, pouring you a cup of coffee as he greeted you with that stupid smile on his face, when three years ago, you were certain he was out of your life forever as he left you here on your own and run into the arms of someone else? this should be a dream, you repeated.

until you figured out it actually wasn't -- because this was that day, the one before you confronted him about his affair.

unfortunately, you were about to relive the same day over and over again, and you had absolutely no idea as to why.

pairing: professor!jimin x author!reader

genre: 70% angst, 20% smut, 10% fluff

warnings: an emotional rollercoaster, infidelity, betrayal, self-destructive behaviors, unhealthy coping mechanisms, pining, toxic and abusive relationships, self-blaming, gaslighting, smut

word count: 12.8k

status: COMPLETED

song recs: milk & honey - billie marten (alt version) | the butterfly effect - before you exit | the other - lauv | who - lauv ft. bts

taglist: @mickmoon @mawwnsterr @peanutbutterjm @sweet--catastrophee @loljrau @bri-mal @christiandosworld @park-jimin-isnt-real

a/n: someone evil requested this so here you go. anyways, i'd like to point out one thing though, you need to read this without prejudice. it may not be enough to make sense of the ending but this is where maybe you get to see why things happened the way they did. hopefully.

[fic masterlist]

“Quick question, if I ask you out on a breakfast date, how would you feel?”

“Huh?” your mouth hung open, not knowing how to process the question itself - and the fact that this was the first time someone had asked you such a rhetorical question.

How was Jimin expecting you to answer?

Of course, any kind of date would make the butterflies inside your tummy go wild.

“Have you ever been on a breakfast date before?” he added, and the look on his face told you he was clearly anticipating a very specific reply, something gratifying.

You smiled, shaking your head as you twirled the pasta with your fork, eyes downcast on your plate you’d been dying to wipe clean but this man before you was too much of a distraction.

“To answer your first question, I would be happy. But… Why breakfast?”

To that, Jimin excitedly hummed, as if he’d been waiting for that moment. He straightened himself, placed his fork and knife back on his plate and looked at you. His eyes were full of life, and you needed a breather. Why were there stars in those eyes? You mentally questioned.

He grinned, resting back on his chair. “Ah, well, you see… I’m a professor, I work from 8AM to 5PM, on Thursdays and Fridays, I have evening classes so I won’t be home until 11PM. Which is why breakfast dates have become my thing. Lunch is okay, but it’s a bit uncomfortable because I’m usually under time pressure then.”

“And lunch is when you cram grading papers for your next class?” you joked, remembering a certain time in your university years when you met and liked one of your female professors who said not everyone in the field is best at planning and journaling. There are a few like her who were spontaneous, or most times, were extreme procrastinators.

You wondered which kind Jimin was.

“Excuse me, miss?” he scoffed, as if offended. “I don’t ever procrastinate. Ever. Namjoon can vouch for me..” he proudly tilted his head to the side, and you fought all odds not to swoon.

You could swear this man was going to be the end of you.

“Okay, guess I can consider that as… Me having no other choice than to go on an early breakfast date with you? That’s what this is, right?” At that point, you were dreading to run to the restroom and either take a breath or dig a grave for yourself, or both.

His shoulder relaxed, hands reaching for his fork and knife again to get back to his steak before giving you the most beautiful smile on a man you’ve ever seen.

“We’re going on a date then, at 6AM, I’ll pick you up…” he said so casually, without offering you a chance to decline. You never could, anyway.

You rolled your eyes and turned your attention solely on your food, ignoring whatever he’s still on about. Trying your best not to smell how good Park Jimin’s perfume was from your seat, you kept your gaze on your ruined plate, and his fond stares at your face went unnoticed.

He was about to mindlessly say, “You’re really pretty, do people tell you that a lot?” but caught himself before he did. It was easy, and he’s confident you wouldn’t feel uneasy since you’d been there with him for hours. You’ve had plenty of chances to leave and call it a night but you didn’t.

You were enjoying his company and it was obvious to him - just not to you.

By the time your first date ended and he drove you home, you were halfway through your skincare routine, masked up, hair-tied, watching a late night variety show when Namjoon interrupted your alone time with a call.

You winced at his goofy face on your screen before picking it up, putting him on loudspeaker.

“I know why you’re calling… It was great. Thanks, by the way.”

He laughed, and you heard shuffling, instantly recognizing the possible chaos in his office. “I told you, he’s nice. And hot, right? I’ve tried hooking him up with other colleagues but this is the first time I didn’t have to shove it into him. Just one picture of you with me and he’s nodding his head like a giddy child. He really likes you, Y/N.”

Even from the aloe vera mask on, you could feel the heat rising onto your cheeks. You had to slam the remote to switch off your TV and lay on your back on the bed, eyes at the ceiling.

You fiddled with the soft material of your pajamas and sighed, “He’s not overbearing, is he? A narcissist? A secret pathological liar? A serial killer? A hardcore–”

“Y/N,” Namjoon choked on his tea, pushing the cup back across the desk then he clutched on the armrest tightly. “He’s always been that sassy and confident. I lived in the dorms with him for years, he’s not a psychopath although he could be a little too assertive and it did annoy me sometimes.”

You nodded, shutting your eyes momentarily to picture his face again. Yeah, he seemed like the type to be confident about himself. And it’s even harder to resist how charming that made him because he’s a professor.

He’s good with words, articulate when he needs to be, smart, hardworking, funny… You stopped listing down his qualities, hearing the doorbell and a couple knocks on the front door.

“Joon? Someone’s here… Wait..”

“At this time of the night? Don’t open yet, look through the hole first. Tell me if—”

You skipped towards the hall and halted at your door, leaning over to peek into the peephole Namjoon himself requested the management for. He’s overprotective like that.

“Oh?” you gawked at the man standing behind the door, hands within his pockets. You held your chest with your hand before turning around to go full-on panic mode.

“Kim Namjoon!” you whisper-yelled, “Jimin’s here again! I mean, he went up and he’s right outside the door!” you were running into your room, tossing the device across the bed but it landed on the floor. You rushed to take off the mask and wipe your face, pulling at your tied hair so some of the strands would fall loosely on the sides.

“This will do,” you muttered, and dropped the call, leaving Namjoon speaking nonstop to himself. Inhaling deeply, you faced the door and swallowed as you unlocked it with your body stiffening.

You were greeted by the cold air of midnight, brushing past your skin through your thin cotton pajamas. Park Jimin stood a few steps away from the door, holding a small box in his hand.

It’s not a ring, is it? Impossible. He’s not that type to take things at a full speed, is he?

Your thoughts rambled in your head, eyes glued to the box while he’s staring at you with a smirk growing on his face. It took you a while to recover and when you did, Jimin was stepping closer to you, then slowly reached out to hand you the mysterious box.

He’s opening his mouth before you could even start asking questions after questions.

“I forgot to give this to you earlier. I saw it in my car and… it’s nothing much, but Joon told me you’d been finding it hard to organize your workload and–” you then cut him off, taking the box and harshly tearing it open, revealing a small digital timer in white, covered in bubble wrap.

“How much did he tell you about me? Even that part? Ridiculous…”

Anger started fueling inside you, internally cringing all the while staring at the timer that reminded you of when you started working at Kim Publishing.

“Have you heard of the Pomodoro Technique?” he suddenly asked, face gleaming with curiosity, and your stomach fluttering at the sight of his heavy breathing, telling you he ran all the way back to your apartment unit, sweat running down his jawline.

You’re on a deep-end and it was starting to feel batshit crazy.

You blinked, gulping down the chance you might drool right then and there. “Yeah, in college… Also from a few coworkers. I assume that's what this timer is for?”

He grinned, then nodded hard like a little kid. With his cheeks puffing up, added to the pink blush tinting them, you almost fell to the floor but held yourself straight and managed to take a step forward - for reasons you didn’t want to overthink not doing it when you get to bed.

“Thank you, Jimin.”

Jimin wasn’t sure if he was taken by you when he arrived at the restaurant that night, or in that moment when you were looking into his eyes with that gorgeous smile on your gorgeous face. He badly wanted to do something he’d thought of doing after some more dates with you - just to be certain you’re on the same page, but you were leaning in before he could gather his thoughts.

You’re going to kiss him on the cheek, somehow wishing it would send him a signal that he’d just passed another stage at getting you - because then you realized you liked him too. Maybe it wasn’t that bad to do it, right? You were on a date with him a few hours ago, if Namjoon told you his friend liked you, should it mean you–

An alarm suddenly went off in your head, the tune similar to your morning alarm tone of your mother singing, and as Jimin’s lips hover over yours so close you could feel his breath, you happened to hear your mother’s voice like it was your subconscious stopping you.

So you did, and you immediately backed away, hearing a teeny tiny gasp from him. Was he going to kiss you back? You harshly bit your lip and looked down, the air thickening around you and Jimin was in utter shock, both by you wanting to kiss him, and you stopping before you could.

“Sorry… I’m sorry, it’s quite late, uh… See you tomorrow? Thank you for this, I truly appreciate it…” you stammered, hands on your sides fumbling over nothing while he was at a loss for words.

If you had access to his mind, you would’ve seen the images he’d put in there about you, which he didn’t want you to know of course, at least not yet - but oh boy, his body’s taking him somewhere and it was tempting–

“Goodnight, Jimin! 6AM, right?” you burst out, and it was a squeal more than anything else. You don’t sleep with guys you’ve just met, not even kiss. It wasn’t a rule, in fact, there were times when you’ve thought about it, especially with that man standing before you.

It had just been a couple hours, Y/N! You scold yourself, whilst gripping the door tightly. You were losing and you knew you couldn’t. Either way, though, he’s letting himself release the possible stress he’d about to lose sleep over.

“Right, uh. I um.. I should go..?” he brought up an ‘OK’ using his thumb over his shoulder, awkwardly looking at you, and you felt like somehow, he deserved to hear your reason as to why you couldn’t kiss him yet. The last thing you wanted was for him to misinterpret it as something else.

“Wait, Jimin–” you held out for him as he turned around, your arm flailing in the air. He peered back and widened his eyes, and you cleared your throat. “It’s not that I don’t want to… you know,” you whispered, darting from his face down to your feet.

“Hey,” he smiled, “I get it. I understand, really… Don’t worry about it.”

“I just… I would like it if we take things slowly, I mean, if that’s okay with you?”

Uncertainty swirled inside you, and you were wondering what he was possibly thinking then. But as you scanned his expression, he spoke even before he could process his own thoughts. He spoke through the surge in his chest, the rapid beating of his heart.

“That would be nice. Let’s do it.”

He’s beaming, crescent eyes shimmering in the dimness of the hall outside your apartment unit. There’s the line you had to keep yourself from crossing, but you’re glad that you could see the willingness in him to follow your own pace.

Jimin liked you. He really did, and considering breakfast dates as your everyday thing didn’t sound so bad for you anymore, even if you had to wake up a little earlier than normal.

“Goodnight, Y/N. I’ll be here…” he glanced at his watch, then back at you. “In 5 hours..” he grinned, shoulders raised as he slipped his hands into his pockets.

You chuckled softly then slowly shut the door when he turned back around and headed for the elevator, waving a hand at you once before entering and you waited until he’s gone.

Your breakfast date with Jimin for the first time was one for the books.

And it got better and better, the more breakfasts you spent together.

It didn’t take long for you to admit it to Namjoon, how you’ve started developing feelings for his friend. He was more than happy to help you with it, although you weren’t confident that he felt the same at that point.

That was, until Jimin came back home to his childhood home, to his parents – their persistence in pushing him to ‘pick’ any successful woman to marry, as if it was that easy… Marriage, that is.

“Remember that girl you dated in high school? What was her name? Well, we heard she’s a doctor now. Some type of surgeon? Why not find her?”

Jimin’s eyes twitched, his fingers went pale as he gripped his fork tightly. What did she just say?

“Mom,” he gritted his teeth, looked up and stopped chewing. “You’re joking, right?”

Look who he’s kidding. Jimin knew his mother wasn’t joking. She did want him to settle as soon as possible, and to be a very successful woman – like Yoojin. Yes. Like that woman who broke his heart.

His dad interrupted, wiping cloth over his mouth. “The Min’s… I think they’ve forgiven their daughter for what happened. Have you talked to her?”

“Okay, this is it. I’m done. I’m getting out of here…” Jimin slammed his hands on the table and pushed back his chair, clearly upset. Wishing their son a good marriage with an amazing wife is one thing, but wishing him to be wed to the same person who destroyed him is another.

Jimin hated hearing her name. Just remembering Min Yoojin was like a hard punch in his gut. If they knew the extent of what she had done to him and their relationship, maybe they would have understood – maybe not, because his parents only cared about what they wanted.

And what Jimin wanted? It was to meet someone who wouldn’t simply make him happy, but someone who would hold him, when things weren’t. Someone who’s a little bit stronger than him, but still vulnerable as he is. Someone who would be willing to see the end with him, not leave him hanging in the tracks… Someone permanent.

He’s in the midst of breaking down as he drives back to his apartment when you called, just right on time to offer him a hand.

“So… I made some cannolis. Ever had those? They’re amazing. Okay, are you busy tonight? Uh, I saw this old video shop down the street and wouldn’t you know, they still sell DVDs! There’s your favorite, what was that again?”

No answer.

“Jimin? Oh… Sorry, am I interrupting.. Sorry, maybe next time–”

“Five minutes. Be there in five,” he barely let out. You seemed to notice the distraught, the silent cries, the faint sniffles. “Something’s wrong? You want to talk about it?”

“I’m here…”

Colors drained out of your face, that was fast. You hurried to the door, fixed your sweats and hair before opening the door. You were right, something’s definitely wrong.

You wanted to jump in and wrap him in the warmest embrace you could ever give, but the look on his face as he stared at you was causing a roar within you. It felt like he was about to tear you down, maybe call it quits – whatever this thing was between you, or as if he was about to confess something horrible you haven’t heard in his life.

The cannolis were probably cold by then, you’d spent hours thinking if it was alright to invite him over. Ironically, words aren't your love language, perhaps it was a very long time ago… but with him, it’s…

Jimin left all his frustrations out the door, the thoughts of Yoojin, his parents who were never satisfied with him despite having achieved everything for them…

He pushed them out and stepped inside, swiftly removing his shoes and then walking towards you like the clock’s ticking faster by the second.

Your body was pulled into his firm arms before you could even blink, and it was then you realized that in that moment, you didn’t need words to tell him how you felt.

He was crying and smiling all the while smelling roses in your hair, and you were rubbing your palms behind him in comfort, chuckling at how strange her plans had turned out.

“It’s okay… Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

“You… smell so good,” he blurted out of nowhere. You laughed harder, slapping a hand on his shoulder. “Just say I smell like dough, it’s okay.”

He pulled away, still holding you like you were about to run off. The seconds that came after were longer, especially for you. You were thinking a lot – of cold cannolis, of the mess in your kitchen, of whether you showered… How could you forget about that?

Jimin caught the little shifts in your expression, the way your eyebrows could tell when you’re happy or worried, or when your cheeks would change in their color depending on the level of your anger or excitement.

There’s a whole story just written all over your face, and oh, he would do anything to read through it over and over if he could.

If you would let him.

Which you did.

“Would you like to come in? Or.. are you here just for the food and the uh—the DVDs?”

“If it’s The Notebook, then yes. But I’d love to experience the pastries you made and maybe sit through any movies you picked, with you so…”

You grinned, and maybe it was a bit of a bad timing to do it – but something about the silence tugged and pulled at his heartstrings, and Jimin did what he’d thought of a million times since that first night he met you.

He kissed you.

The world around him drifted, and as he slipped his hand around your neck gently, head tilted to the side, your fears and worries dissipated into the air, into the narrow opening that closed shut as your lips met his and his other hand on your forearm.

It was the kiss that unlocked the lifetime you were going to share with him.

And maybe in seven years, you would regret that moment, wishing it didn’t happen… Maybe in the next forty years, you would smile through the tears because there were things you should’ve done first. Say, for example, give yourself more time - give him more time to open up.

Maybe you would have known the truth of why he was hurt, or who he was running from.

Maybe in three years, you would have given him a chance at saving you from your nightmares that turned into fears in the day.

Maybe.

But that moment was infinite. Like a thousand galaxies coming together, you and him were witnesses of a love that could bend and break, but also stay above all else hereafter.

Your mother fell in love with Jimin on the first day they met.

You’d never seen her that happy in so long. It almost felt like a daydream. The two of them faced each other, sharing stories of the war and the greatest movies of all time.

Jimin glanced over at you, expertly cleaning your aunt’s kitchen counter. You caught his stare, giving him half a smile before rolling your eyes at your mother whose arm was around him, clinging to him like he’s her grown-up child.

“I won’t be surprised if you’d once hoped I were a boy when I was a kid…” you joked, yet it sounded off. She shrugged it off, turning to Jimin. “Oh, did you hear that?”

He laughed along, and if you weren’t distracted by his crescent eyes and that crooked little tooth that you’re sure your mother had been obsessed with as well;

Then you wouldn’t have noticed how he’s beyond enamored by the relationship you had with your mother. He was happy seeing the two of you act childish together, lose the mother-daughter bond and become best friends who bicker over nonsense.

He silently envied you, for having a mom like that. Someone you can be completely honest with about everything, someone who treats you like the imperfect person you are – and is always open to teaching you the ways of life instead of shoving you into the world without a knowledge of anything, and then expecting you’d learn and adapt as fast.

He envied how your estranged relationship with your father, though it may have been a thorn hooked into your heart, became a reminder for you to take things as carefully as you can.

Jimin invited you to see his parents the week after that, and as expected, his parents weren’t that welcoming. Still, he admired how you handled their animosity towards you.

Or as they labeled it, ‘women like you.’

Your mother had asked you about Yoojin once when you were at the kitchen with her, you never told Jimin. You lied to her, saying you knew her even though you never did.

“She’s a college professor now, just like him…” she bragged, and you nodded, deciding not to seem interested in knowing the woman Jimin once loved in his life.

“It didn’t work out for them, I don’t know what my son did—”

“She cheated on him,” you mumbled, glad that the faucet’s running as Jimin entered the kitchen, making the tension disappear. “Mom? Dad wants you..”

You inhaled deeply when she excused herself, placing the last plate on the rack before wiping your hands on the apron his mother forced you to wear, saying Yoojin gave her that as a gift.

“Hey, what did she say?”

You swallowed, whipping your head with the smile you’ve plastered hard enough that he knew immediately it was forced.

“Nothing…”

He frowned, “Nothing?” He's quick to reach for your hand, “Pretty sure I heard that name again..”

That’s the thing. Jimin never liked saying her name. Min Yoojin. He told you about her, in bullet form, if you had to describe it. It was as if he listed down information on the woman he dated in college, memorized it and then recited them to you.

You never asked anything more.

Not even Namjoon heard anything from you.

You just know that he loved her, that it was almost like a fairytale, until she ran away into the arms of a much older man… Disappointed at how simple Jimin was becoming.

You always thought she’s a perfectionist, someone who was raised in a strict household, rich and powerful – people who believed mistakes shouldn’t have room in a person.

Maybe Yoojin didn’t like how heavy Jimin sleeps?

Or how he gives out retakes on his practical tests to offer his students a chance at passing?

Or when he’s being himself.

It didn’t matter, though. She’s not there anymore.

But you were.

Jimin didn’t care if it had only been three years. He was going to propose anyway.

He wanted a future with you. And the way you’d welcome him at home seemed obvious you wanted that too. You told him about having kids of your own, of living in a house on a farm when you grow old.

Though you never mentioned him in those little dreams of your future, a part of him knew at one point you pictured him in there too.

You wanted to be honest, he did appear on that porch sitting next to you.

Or that he cried on the day you’d given birth to your child.

Or that the ring he gave you had stopped being lonely in your finger… As he himself said it, one day he’ll add two more.

When Jimin called his parents to tell them what he wanted to do, they didn’t sound pleased, but they let him – though silently hoping it wouldn’t end the way he said it would.

Cruel. Life’s cruel.

He didn’t get to say it, not even get down on one knee because he learned the truth the hardest way possible. You’re never sure of him.

That you saw him as a reflection of your father, and that image turned your hopes into dust.

“I’m so sorry, Jimin. She’ll eventually realize how wrong she is about you… It’s our fault she’s like this…”

Or is it Jimin’s fault to believe there was a future for him, with you?

For the next two weeks, you were different.

You rarely ever spoke a word to him, and you started writing again. But you still sent him short love letters in his email, more than enough to get him through the rough day at work.

And whenever he’d come home in the evening, you’d sit on the couch with the saddest smiles he’d seen, but it'd shift into the biggest as soon as you saw him coming in.

He watched you sleep – something he used to do when he still had the energy to spare and keep his eyes open until you drift into your slumber.

Jimin watched and watched, each night, caressing you, searching the answers through the sound of your breathing. What made you feel uncertain of him?

What did he do wrong?

When did everything begin to feel… out of reach?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it since. Coming home was the best part of his day, until the thought of you leaving him would haunt him on his way back to your apartment.

The days felt longer than ever, and coming home scared him then, what if he opened the door and you’re not there anymore?

It sure felt like time was running out.

Three months later and you’re… on an invisible, thin thread.

“Hey love? Uh, did Namjoon call? We might have to stay in for another two hours. It’s the next edition. Anyways, we’ll catch up at 12?”

Pressing a thumb on the side of his forehead, Jimin swiveled in his chair, deep in thought.

He’d been thinking about a weekend with you, maybe a trip somewhere and it could be a way for both of you to bond and make up for the time when things were hectic.

Hours ago, he was on his work computer searching for places fit for a weekend getaway, imagining a perfect Sunday where you would walk down the stairs with him on your way to the beach, or you on a dress standing at a balcony looking out in the ocean, him by your side feeling content in your presence.

He believed you needed it too, even more so when he knew you’d been working triple times harder than ever, giving no time to come home and lay in bed with him while he’s still awake, and have breakfast the next morning.

The thought of asking Namjoon about your day instead would often pass him by, but he never did, not when your distance could mean so much more than what anyone would imagine, and Jimin didn’t want to pressure you on anything.

Hovering over your text on his phone screen, his finger quivered at reluctance. He could leave his paperwork and head home, maybe pick you up on his way so you could grab something to eat, but would that be alright with you?

Since when did it feel so odd to ask you how you felt?

Either way, Jimin had to try, otherwise he wouldn’t figure it out.

He texted back, “Do you want me to pick you up at 12? I’m still in the office but I can leave this work for tomorrow and drive home, should I wait for you to finish?”

Jimin felt a knot in his stomach as he sent his text, as if he could already feel the fall before it even happened. Those days were just him bracing for something devastating, it physically hurt.

Pushing his phone across his desk, he laid on his back and shut his eyes for the umpteenth time that day, seeing your face in an instant and the tight pull at his insides caught him breathless – choking almost.

He recalled the last time he felt suffocated, it was when he still lived with his parents. His mother would barge into his bedroom uninvited, listing down opportunities she wanted him to seek.

Jimin used to be a single-minded person, someone who silently craved simplicity but with a taste of perfection. Unlike his parents, he wanted great things – yet his way of getting them wasn’t sacrificial, he didn’t like too much pressure.

But he had to endure, as he felt it was the only road for him to find his escape one day. If he were to succeed like his parents wanted, then that would mean he could leave and be on his own.

Suffocating – love was like that for him, if he was to speak of his parents’ love. However, Yoojin’s love was something else. It was indescribable, more so like a whirlwind of passion and freedom.

Yoojin became his reason to leave his parents ultimately, the grip they had on his neck fell off when he told them he was going away with her.

He was free as soon as he held her hand.

Not knowing how choosing her would make everything even harder for him – staying with her would potentially get himself back to where he came from, how he was with his parents.

His phone rang and he was shaken, eyes narrowing in at the device vibrating across the wooden desk. It’s you. You were calling him, your face lit up the screen as the door to his faculty flew open.

Getting up, he grabbed his phone and answered, his head towards the doorway where someone stood by with a pile of books in both hands, panting heavily, short of breath.

His entire face drained all its color, one hand holding his phone right up by his ear while the other was on his side, seeking refuge on the hem of his pants.

“Hello? Love? Hi, uh, well.. We’re having coffee and some snacks Sooyoung bought, it’s crazy in here, you know? Namjoon is okay driving me home, you don’t need to, okay? Please come home and rest. We’ll catch up, I promise. Hmm? I’m so sorry, but you know how important this is for me. I might get that chance to pitch in my ideas and—”

“It’s okay, I understand… Let me know when you’re on your way, alright? I’ll see you at home.”

His words ran seamlessly, as though they were rehearsed. He had expected it’s possible that you wouldn’t want him to pick you up, or that there could be some other reasons why you couldn’t make it in time to talk to him.

It was the kind of fall that Jimin had learned to anticipate, to brace himself for.

“Bye, babe. I love you…” Your last three words sounded more of a question to him, but somehow, he seemed to have accepted that too. That perhaps, loving him and being with him didn’t feel the same anymore.

Maybe you did see your father a lot in him, that’s why.

Your voice resonated across the room, heard by another presence still shell-shocked at the door. Jimin didn’t say it back, and instead, he swallowed back the lump and locked his phone, slipping it into his drawer before taking a long, harbored breath.

Then there was silence.

A deafening one.

On the other line, you placed your phone back at the table, and you stared at the screen feeling rather empty. You couldn’t say why, there were no words to explain the numbness in your bones.

Sooyoung leaned over behind you, eyes on your phone where a photo of a lone house stood in the middle of a land, snowed in and cold. She shivered at the sight, at the feeling it evoked.

“Where’d you get that photo?”

You blinked as fast, recovering yourself. Looking up, you saw her sitting down beside you, reading your face. “It’s from a book. Anyway, should we go back? It’s been ten minutes.”

Sooyoung couldn’t read your mind, but she could feel the avoidance, the missing air around you for a while. Weeks ago, your wallpaper was your boyfriend. Then it was that depressing photo of a farmhouse covered in white.

Something was clearly wrong and she wished you would trust her with whatever you’re going through. What she didn’t know then was, you were beginning to feel something you’ve never felt before.

Out of place. You were feeling out of place. You never knew why, until it was too late.

The most impossible thing he once thought happened right in that moment.

Min Yoojin stood before him, looking just as he had last seen her, except that her hair’s different. She used to shine with her hair, she would spend a lot on caring for it so Jimin could still remember how annoyed she would get when chunks of it failed to cooperate.

He couldn’t process a word or two, not even a single “Hi” as something creeped at the back of his mind. What was she doing there? How did she end up in the same university as him?

He was certain Yoojin left him broken, swore she’d never appear in front of him anymore. She hated him at the very last day, for reasons she still hadn’t explained herself.

There really were no explanations, she just didn’t want someone simple in her life. Someone content like Jimin was becoming. She wanted someone who was out for perfection, and more.

Someone who wouldn’t stop at anything to achieve their dreams of success. The pressure took a toll on him, and Yoojin hated weakness on men. He was becoming weak, she needed more.

It didn’t seem like that though, as Jimin stared at her, mind filling with more questions he wished it was easy for him to ask.

“Park Jimin,” his head instantly lifted at that familiarity in that voice that laced a woman he once dedicated his whole life to. “They’re right, you work here. Wow…” she shook her head.

His eyebrows raised, wondering why there was sarcasm in her tone. “I.. I do. I work here. You–why are you here?”

She let out a chuckle, a rather dry, almost bitter one and he flinched at that. “What are the odds, well, I work here too. Since last month…”

Jimin’s brows fell and then creased, in disbelief of how he never heard of such news that she had started working there. “Hm, I didn’t know…”

Yoojin shrugged, lifting her hands that carried a pile of documents and for whatever reason, Jimin found himself skipping towards her, as if on autopilot. He took everything in his arms and she watched, a little surprised but she kept herself collected.

Mumbling a low “Thanks,” Jimin hurried to place them on top of his desk as he scanned each with curiosity. Yoojin reluctantly stepped closer, hands clasping behind her in caution over something she couldn’t explain.

“I found them in my office, uh, right in the drawers and… I thought of throwing them away but they–” Jimin turned around, facing her with one two-paged paper in hand. “They’re survey forms from last year.”

She nodded, smiling a bit. “Yes, from Kim Publishing? That’s… Namjoon’s company, isn’t it?”

He corrected her, “No, it’s still his parents but.. Yeah. They hold surveys here annually, at Liberal Arts. Mostly to figure how many are still interested in print magazines and physical books like–”

“L/N Y/N…” she’s now inches away from him, taking another set of paper from the pile and looking at it, then at Jimin. “She’s…” she stopped herself and glanced around, catching a frame sitting on a shelf. It’s one of your pictures with him, from a winter trip to Gangwon-do.

Jimin trailed her gaze, widening his eyes as he caught your face smiling back at him and Yoojin. The lump he forced to swallow minutes earlier came back, and his heart tightened at a pull it had on him.

Yoojin exhaled deeply, sitting herself on a chair in front of his desk, crossing her legs. “I’m assuming you met her through Joon? No?”

Heaving a sigh, Jimin licked his lips and returned to his chair, resting his back trying to find comfort amidst the tension in the air with Yoojin in the same room as him.

“I did,” he replied casually, looking at a distance. Yoojin was silent for a moment, searching for something in his eyes, his demeanor, there… there’s the sparkle lost somewhere in his face. The way his eyes glimmered, probably thinking of you as he answered.

There was no question if Jimin loved you, Yoojin could see it right there. She could feel it, even in between the gaps that separated his reaction to his worded reply.

If there was a problem, she knew it didn’t matter to him. He loved you. Perhaps, that was enough at that moment.

Against her better judgment though, Yoojin urged him to tell her more about you, intrigued by how much he had changed over the years. “What does she do? Is she a writer?”

Jimin sat upright, taking his glasses before pulling out a stack of papers Yoojin brought. He felt the need to distract himself while he talked. “Yes,” he said, reading onto the words from the forms before setting them aside.

“Is she good?”

“Yes, she is.”

“I see. She seems kind, too.”

“Yes.”

“How long?”

He gulped, tilting his head to meet her eyes that pierced through him. She’d moved her chair closer, head laying on her arm. Her hair fell across her face, blinding her sight a little but Jimin could see the pain rising on her skin, tears threatening their way any second.

“Three years..” he replied, “Tell me.. What are you doing here, really?” patience as thin as her willpower to keep herself composed. Three years. Jimin had found her replacement in a year.

Replacement. That was what you were to a woman like Min Yoojin. An insult, almost, to the woman who had everything she ever wanted in her life.

She wondered if you knew about her, if Jimin told you how much he worshiped her then, how everything he did – he did it for her.

Did Jimin love you the way he did with her?

Did he give you the world, and more?

Not realizing what he’s doing, Yoojin winced as she felt a grip on her shoulder, and Jimin stood beside her, glaring at her pathetically. He hated her still, she could feel that too.

Why wouldn’t he? Yoojin destroyed him. She made him feel like he wasn’t enough. She stomped on his pride, on the things he worked hard for. That’s not love, was it?

You loved him. Not once did he feel any less of a person when you were there. That woman in his office, she broke him, turned him into an empty shell of a man that he swore he would never become.

Jimin should be home waiting for you, not anywhere else.

He should be home, to you.

“You should leave, it’s late and I have to go home. Leave those files here, I’ll handle them.”

“I looked for you everywhere, Jimin. It’s how I got here.”

He scoffed, a hand on his hip as he turned away. “What a joke.. Go home, let’s pretend this conversation never happened.”

Yoojin got up, frazzled, “You thought you could just push me away, hm? No. Now that I know where you are, you will never get rid of me, you get that? Whatever it is that you’re going through with her, it’s most probably your fault. She must have seen how you–”

“I’m leaving, Yoojin, you should rest.”

Walking out wasn’t the best option for Jimin, but hurting Yoojin wasn’t either. He pushed off the words she’d thrown him, taking deep breaths on his way to the parking lot.

She could never get into his head, not anymore.

What he needed at that second as he stepped on the gas was to get home as fast as he could.

Home, to you.

The doors unlocked, the hallway to the living room was dark. Jimin blindly pressed on the lights, the yellow shade warming his presence. You walked out the elevator, seconds away from the front door shutting.

“Wait!” you yelled, catching the door before it automatically locked. Jimin peered over his shoulder, eyes darting from the bags in your hand, then to your face.

“Hey, we were calling you. Namjoon saw you exiting your car but you didn’t answer. I thought you’re already home–”

The bags fell to the ground as Jimin lifted you in his arms, in a tight embrace, one that made your heart flutter. Like it was the first time you were in such proximity. How long has it been since you hugged?

Has it been that long?

Buried in his chest, you smiled at the faint scent of his perfume. His tears ran down his cheeks, and they fell over your hair that smelled like roses – he’s home, at last.

You heard a small sniff and you’re pulling away instantly, holding his face in your warm hands. “Oh no no no why are you crying? What happened?”

He obliged as you dragged him to the couch, sat him down before running to the kitchen for a glass of water, forgetting about the bags by the doorway.

Jimin wiped his tears with a chuckle, and you returned with a frown, handing him the glass to drink. Sitting on the coffee table in front of him, you inspected his face closely.

It was then when you concluded that indeed, you haven’t spent much time with each other in a long time. His features seemed blurry in your memory, and you battled with the thought that it’s either you’ve been forgetting things a lot frequently those days, or both of you just hadn’t been around that close in a while.

It could have been either of the two, but Jimin left you no time to think as he pushed the empty glass next to you, leaning forward and pressing his wet lips onto yours.

Hands finding his chest, you remembered the four shots of soju Sooyoung offered you after work, when you were left in Namjoon’s office with them. You clearly tasted like soju and kimchi and everything else that you had that day.

Jimin didn’t care. His hands go around your neck, pulling you towards him and you begin to feel hyper-aware of how ridiculous you might have looked like. Still in your work clothes, you felt so grossed out by yourself, yet you couldn’t find it in you to object.

Kissing you fervently, Jimin’s hands traveled down on your sides, pausing at your hips before giving you a chance to breathe. You were already spent, disheveled when you caught the look on his face.

This was it.

Your eyes narrowed at the growing smirk he was purposely showing you, and you almost forgot how you were straddling him until he winced beneath you when you moved an inch to the side.

“Stop doing that,” he groaned. “What?” you asked innocently.

He stared directly in your eyes, into your soul. His hands reach back upwards again, to the side of your cheek as he narrowed the distance between you, as though they weren’t enough.

“Nothing, I… I just missed you… a lot,” his forehead touched yours. “Can’t we stay like this forever?” you sighed, threading your fingers into his hair while you whispered, “Something’s wrong, and we need to talk about it, yeah?”

Just a second ago, Jimin wanted another distraction. Something to keep him from thinking about what had been bothering him since his supposed proposal to you. He believed making love could ease the thunder roaring inside of him. The silent cries he wept, overthinking why you’d been distant.

You’re right. Something’s wrong and he needed to tell you all about it.

And you noticed his surrender, his shoulders slumping as he inhaled, fingers fixing loose strands of your hair. You reached for his hand, squeezed it gently, “When was the last time we held each other like this?” you asked.

He bit his bottom lip, “I can’t even remember…” he was being honest. He didn’t know how or why neither of you initiated a move, a sweet kiss before you’d leave for work, a hug after a long day.

Jimin was at a complete loss. All his overanalyzing led him astray, while all your overcompensating made you lose track of things – even the most important part of your life, you’ve unconsciously taken for granted.

Since your last argument with your father, you turned to isolation. You did it many times before, shutting down when issues come crashing on you.

Part of your coping caused a rift in your relationship with Jimin, and you had no idea until that moment he was looking at you like he didn’t know what to do anymore.

It’s your fault. It always was.

“It’s all my fault. I.. I did this, I should have been there for you. Have I been too… distant? That’s it, right? Since… since my father—”

“It’s okay. Nothing’s your fault, love. It’s not like I don’t miss you every day anyway, it’s just – work that’s been stressing me out.”

Lies. It was always easier to lie than having to face his fears. Jimin thought at the last second, that if he told you what was worrying him, or if he confessed to having planned on asking you to marry him, your answer would’ve been something he could never absorb.

If he asked you what made you uncertain of him, he was afraid to hear you disagree – and end up blaming yourself for feeling that way. It would hurt you, worse than how you seemed to be as you were going on and on about how guilty you were for avoiding him.

“It’s my problem. When it comes to him, I didn’t want anyone to feel the weight that I chose to carry myself long ago. Especially you, I can’t just add that to the burden you already have. With your parents, I mean. It’s not… fair.”

“Hey,” he called, following you when you stood and started pacing. “Your problem is my problem too. Didn’t we agree that we’re in this together? I told you, I want to be able to hold you when it gets too heavy, I want to be there for you. My parents, they don’t matter to me as much as yours do and I knew that since we met. It’s alright with me, I just need you to trust me… I’m here.”

That was another problem. You knew he was there. Always. But you tend to fight your battles on your own, not because you couldn’t trust him, but because you couldn’t trust yourself.

You couldn’t trust that you’re not going to ruin him because of how scared you’d been your whole life. Scared that if he held you and told you everything will be okay, you’d believe him… but something kept gnawing at you, telling you nothing will work out the way you wanted them.

Jimin’s a good man. He was so good to you that sometimes it felt too good to be true.

His presence in your life was permanent – and you figured that one out when a few months after that night, you saw him entering your floor at the office, looking dashing in his work suit.

Sooyoung was pushing your chair as she giggled, your hair was a mess, bags under your eyes.

“He looks so gorgeous, damn, the interns are asking for a beating from you..”

You shot her a glare and she laughed. “This is embarrassing, what the hell,” you muttered, standing up to meet him as Jimin walked over to your desk, nodding at Sooyoung before she dashed out to call Namjoon on his phone.

“What are you doing here? It’s 3PM???”

Jimin cracked a smile, boastful as he handed you a card. “We’re going to a party tonight. Just wanted to give this to you to rehearse.”

“Rehearse?”

He nodded, “Mm, your speech. I’ve been promoted as Broadcasting Head and… Hoseok wanted you to say a few words… for me.”

You glanced at the card, a paragraph in his handwriting. Scoffing, you read the words out loud.

“To my beloved–” he cut you off, awkwardly chuckling as he looked around, catching pairs of eyes ogling him and you. “Hey, you told me to rehearse!”

He grabbed your arms and walked off, and you screamed, “My beloved Park Jimin has been promoted! This is my proudest moment ever!!!”

Namjoon and Sooyoung halted in their steps, eyes wide open. Jimin’s face was beet red as people caught on to your screaming. He stopped when his friend appeared in his vision.

“You’ve been promoted?” Namjoon asked, and Jimin did his best to hide his blush. Sooyoung grinned beside you, “We should celebrate, right?”

You shook his hand that was still holding you, “Why don’t we go out tonight? For drinks?”

Jimin turned to you, “N-no, we can’t. The party! What about—” he side-eyed Namjoon, “Friday?”

Namjoon smiled, “Sounds great, Sooyoung?” and Sooyoung was halfway into the hall when she yelled, “Count me in!!!”

The speech Jimin prepared for you to memorize was full of passion. He sure knew how you admired him not only as your significant other, but him as a teacher as well. It was like you wrote everything yourself.

It was a beautiful Wednesday night and all eyes were on the two of you since you arrived at the venue. He picked out the dress you had on, and you thought it was pretty. You’ve exchanged greetings with his coworkers and a few student council members he was close with.

If not for the blinding lights and indistinct voices of people surrounding you, with the pounding in your chest as you walked on the podium to make the speech; you would have met Yoojin for the first time up close.

You didn’t even notice how close she was to Jimin, standing side by side with him while you stared at him when you began.

His smile was alluring, though it was scripted, Jimin was beyond ecstatic to see you up there talking about how proud you were of him. You got rid of the speech he wrote and instead improvised your own, surprising him yet all he could think about was how badly he wanted to run to you and propose right then and there – in front of everyone.

But a pull on his suit and a tap on a microphone swept him away, and you were beaming with joy, thanking everyone as you proceeded to walk off the stage while Jimin glanced to his right where Yoojin was waiting for him.

“Congratulations on becoming Broadcast Head. You’re going to kill it…” she grinned, long, soft curls cascaded her torso, she had the perfectly-fitted lace dress that hugged her figure gorgeously. If you didn’t call out his name, Jimin would have acknowledged how breathtaking Min Yoojin was that night.

“Was I alright up there?” you inquired, popping up behind him with a tug on his clothed arm. “Love?” he looked around immediately, nearly bumping into you. He breathes heavily, forcing out a chuckle that comes out rather tense. You didn’t see Yoojin walk away when you called him, but she saw you.

The entire night, Yoojin had her eyes on you and him. Like a hawk, she guarded herself in the shadows of the people, poised and proper as expected of the daughter of one of the biggest founders of Jung University. She was indeed breathtaking despite the sternness she showed, the undeniably forced smile - calculated and rehearsed.

To everyone, it was as though she was born for prominence, for immense success and pride. To Jimin, she’s beyond the name and reputation Yoojin was born with.

So, when he cheered and congratulated you for that amazing speech, expressing his own gratitude to you and your kind words; Jimin thought of excusing himself as he caught sight of his mentor, a then retired professor who’s friends with Yoojin’s parents.

Yoojin was exchanging pleasantries with the mentor, whilst side-glancing his way, as if calling him over. She knew how important Professor Kang was to Jimin. She’s a great influence to him as an educator himself, perhaps a figure he took inspiration from his lectures and practices.

He told you about Professor Kang, but to ask you to accompany him to where she was while Yoojin was there caused a strange feeling in his chest to surface.

Jimin would have to introduce you formally to Yoojin, his ex-girlfriend, and somehow that didn’t sit right with him. Which was why he diverted his attention elsewhere, to you, yet you’ve found an interest in one of his students.

In the end, he excused himself, and you nodded - too engrossed in a conversation with a couple of Communication majors on the relevance of print industry in the modern-day setting.

When he’s out of there, headed towards a corner table where Professor Kang, Yoojin, and two other board members sat down, a student of his asked you.

“Ms. L/N, how did you and Professor Park meet?”

Your eyes shimmered, “Oh, uhm, through a friend I work for. I mean.. I work with. They’re college friends and… you know..”

The student nodded, “I see. Would you mind if I ask how he is as a boyfriend? It’s okay if you don’t want to! I just want to know.”

You didn’t see any harm in that question, sure it was just out of pure curiosity amongst his students. Besides, you’ve been aware of his image around campus, added by Hoseok’s exaggerated stories on Jimin’s students forming a fanclub for him.

You answered, “Professor Park is a passionate man. He works hard, loves hard, I think in the classroom he’s the same? No? But he is thoughtful and loving. And, he talks a lot about his students like you with so much concern.”

The proud smile on your face was unwavering, and his student could only sigh in relief at how similar the professor is outside of the classroom. It made them think of him even higher than they ever had. It was the truth - he loved teaching as much as he loved you.

That’s what you had always felt about him.

“It’s saddening to hear you two did not work through your partnership. It would have been a huge deal to our community that both of you represent the institution together.”

Professor Kang had her arms crossed over her fuzzy scarf wrapped around her, and Yoojin’s face contorted into somewhat of a frown, but relieved as soon as Jimin looked at her with a smile that’s more of courtesy and respect.

If not for the thoughts of you lingering in Jimin’s mind throughout the conversation, he would’ve been bothered by the term the professor used.

She called his former relationship with Yoojin, a mere ‘partnership,’ as if the two of them were nothing but coworkers on a project together.

That’s one of the things that let Jimin down, the fact that he was casted more like a shadow of Min Yoojin - someone who supported the perfect daughter, held her hand through her endeavors while he had to silently battle his own.

He walked on eggshells around her and the teaching community, and the most upsetting was how it was worse around her family.

They created an alliance, sort of, with Jimin’s parents, yet it didn’t help him in any way in his career. All he achieved was the fruit of his hard work, maybe Yoojin did pull plenty of strings for him, but his skills were always considered second best to her and everyone in their league.

He was anticipating the similar response Yoojin had in such a statement, but that night was the first time in a long time she surprised him.

“Jimin and I may have chosen different paths but we’re both killing it in the game without a doubt. In fact, he’s been promoted as Broadcast Head. Haven’t you heard?”

“Oh, of course! Well, congratulations Jimin. I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up leading the rest in the future, perhaps alongside President Jung’s son?”

He swallowed, expecting another name to slip out as if he needed connection to survive, but Yoojin reached out for his elbow and put the professor in her place.

She didn’t know why the older woman would treat Jimin that way after everything he helped her with, and the fact that for years, she had been his influence and mentor.

A part of her once tolerated the harsh treatment everyone had for Jimin. She believed that love was enough to keep him from feeling isolated, however, that reason alone caused Yoojin to feel trapped - eventually leading into her decision to leave him altogether as she thought he wasn't going to strive for more. It was the most selfish thing she’d done, especially to him.

And she deeply regretted that over the years.

Seeing him again as someone beyond the man she had once imagined was rather fulfilling. She felt the power Jimin had all over him then, in her eyes, he became that perfect man she was obsessed with dreaming about.

She wanted him even more than she did before.

Even with your existence.

“He could be the next president without anyone’s help, Professor. I’m certain Professor Jung and his family would agree with me. He’s an important contributor in this university, and will continue to be one, regardless of what everyone says about him. So if you’ll excuse us, I just saw a few of our co-faculty members who have just arrived. It’s been so lovely to see you, Professor Kang. Enjoy the rest of the night!”

All Jimin could do was bow and let himself be dragged by her, who was beyond exhilarated. Professor Kang clenched her fists around her scarf and frustratedly downed a glass of champagne in defeat.

When the crowd settled and they were outside the suffocating ballroom, Yoojin let go of his wrist and fixed herself, standing meters away from him on one side of the large, empty hallway.

Jimin watched her adjust her dress, pushed her hair behind, and the moment reminded him of his university years, when he was still in the beginning of his relationship with her.

He couldn’t explain why, but there was a split second where he recalled the ring deep in his pocket, the ring he was going to propose to you with - and imagined Yoojin wearing it.

That thought would truly haunt him for decades to count, but the minute Yoojin finally gazed up at him with that familiar smile he was more used to than the practiced one; the world around him froze.

The doors swung open, voices echoed through the walls and the movement was quick to comprehend. Yoojin hurried and grabbed him yet again, pulling him towards the nearest hiding spot she could find.

A dark, waiting lounge filled with displays of Renaissance art and decoration. The only light source were a few electric candle lamps in each corner of the room.

Catching her breath as she cautiously peeked into the space in between the doors, Jimin choked on his words he was thinking of saying.

He wanted to thank her for what she did, and maybe apologize for how he treated her on that night she came into his office. No words dared to spill.

Jimin didn’t even realize their hands were still together and Yoojin seemed to not have any plan on letting go. She’s facing her, quietly breathing as her head’s lifted up at him. Not able to see her face clearly, he blinked repeatedly to adjust to the dark.

Yoojin wanted him - there were a million ways she could show him that, and she would, if given an ounce of opportunity to chase.

And there it was, that little chance. So little, none of them could barely feel it.

But then, a phone started ringing.

Jimin was the first to step back, whole body spinning around to run a hand through his hair. What just happened? What was wrong with him?

Yoojin’s chest ached when he pulled away, her reality hitting hard all at once. She felt hot tears above her cheek, and it didn’t take long for them to stream down when Jimin slipped his hand inside his pocket and took his phone, its ringing sounded like roaring thunder within her body.

His phone screen lit, showing you snuggled into the crook of Jimin’s neck.

For another second, he looked at her, as though asking permission - she hung her head low and stayed silent. He swiped his thumb and brought the device to his ear.

Your voice drowned out the sobs Yoojin let out, too loud and too distracting for Jimin to ignore. He was drawn back to you - as he should, and it hurt more than anything else.

That little hope disappeared into the night as Jimin apologetically bid his goodbye of a nod before exiting the room, choosing to forget about whatever he felt in that space with Yoojin;

Choosing to push it under the rug like he would always do from then forward.

If not for the news you told him when he returned to your table, you would have smelled the perfume - the unmistakable scent of a woman’s perfume that’s not hers, but you didn’t.

You informed him you two had to leave as your mother was sent to the emergency room for a stomach pain, and you were in tears as Jimin held you on your way to the car.

Watching you weep for your mother even with the good news that it was caused by a mild food poisoning and nothing more, Jimin felt the guilt washing over him.

He never spoke to anyone about Yoojin and that night - especially to you.

That was easier than the truth anyway.

Two years passed by in a whiff, and everything was smooth-sailing - you were happier, healthier. Your mother moved near your aunt’s place and started helping her out with her small business, and you’d been promoted once, while Jimin remained the head of his department.

You worked extremely hard to match up your work schedules with his, wanting to solely dedicate your weekends with him.

Short travels around the country and there were several round trips Jimin booked himself for you. He’d been encouraging you to go back to writing, since you’ve paused to focus on your job as Namjoon’s secretary and your weekly concept-building with your team.

You appreciated the effort he was pouring out of him just to make you write again, and you really did try - though you ended up on a journal instead, opting to document your daily life with him.

Everything was aligned - seamlessly almost, until the conversation of marriage was brought up during a family dinner with his parents.

The way your face morphed an indescribable expression which Jimin’s mother interpreted as utter refusal on your end, felt like a strike onto Jimin… harder than the first time you unconsciously rejected the idea of marrying him.

He still defended you though, making up an excuse that you’ve been talking about it with him but it may take a while for a decision to come because of work.

Jimin’s father spoke of his grandchildren he wanted enthusiastically, and your stomach twisted at that. He was looking directly into your eyes as he said it, how he wished he would still be alive by the time you gave birth to them.

He wanted two grandsons, if possible. You took note of that, seeing how Jimin seemed delighted as much as him. You’re not as hesitant with having children as you were with marriage, yet you haven’t honestly discussed it with Jimin.

You never opened the topic, nor did he, so you figured he wasn’t that interested then. You were wrong, but you never knew - not until it was too late.

He went home with you, depleted as ever, his limbs felt ripped inside and out. You didn’t look so concerned - conscious of his dilemma.

That night he was going to propose but failed resurfaced as he kissed you good night. He waited until you were far off to sleep, before he sneaked out and drove to the campus, hoping to find peace within the quiet halls of his department building.

Five years into his relationship with you - and he still didn’t feel enough. Not even deserving for you. He still loved you anyway. Even when he saw a lone figure standing by his office door, facing him, he thought of you all the time.

“Oh, I was just about to see if you’re… Wait, hey… Are you okay?”

He cried on his drive there, messed his hair and smacked his fists onto the wheel - and Yoojin could see the agony in him the second he was close to her.

She took his hands, they’re cold, shivering like the midnight. Without another word, she unlocked the office door for him, using his keys that he had in his other hand. She walked in, pulling him as she moved like she memorized the room.

Sitting him down on the small couch, Yoojin looked for a bottle of water. Jimin always had a few everywhere he went, and she was right. She found one in his bookshelf, and she rushed in twisting it open before handing it to him.

“Drink,” she mumbled, and he did so, eyes far away - out of her reach but she didn’t mind. “Did you forget something here? Were you… cramming the tests?”

He gulped down the rest of the water and crumpled the plastic bottle, tossing it into the trash can. Laying his back against the couch, Jimin brought his arm over his eyes and covered them.

“No. Why are you still here anyway?”

“Good question. I’m checking essays.. Hundreds of them. Wanna see?”

He scoffed, still with his eyes closed. “No thanks. Well, you should go back now. I need some time alone.” she raised her brows, “Why? I can stay here..”

Sitting up straight, Jimin pushed his arm out of his eyes and opened them, immediately catching her round eyes staring back at him. “I need to think…”

That’s the thing, it felt almost surreal - natural for Jimin to be honest with her. Whatever he was thinking at the moment, he would say it, no matter how harsh or real it may be. With Yoojin, his deepest, darkest secrets, the hidden corners of his mind were like an open book.

A part of him would dismiss it as something of a mistake. Yet there’s a bigger part that agreed. Yoojin saw the younger version of him - that little boy who dreamed big, so big he suffered reaching for it. She witnessed him grow, watched the world go smaller and smaller with him.

She may not have seen it then, since she left him to be with someone else, but Jimin held onto that for a long while. Perhaps, until that moment, he still remembered.

Outside the walls of the classrooms they’ve practically lived in since college, their perfect little world was not as pretty - but they made it as one somehow.

Maybe Yoojin forgot about that, he thought.

He felt for her nonetheless. Because he believed she saw him, the ugliest parts of him.

In the next four hours, you didn’t belong anywhere inside Jimin’s mind. You were tucked away in the crevices of his heart, asleep - lost in the daunting midnight.

The dawn was when Jimin came home. It happened once, then twice a week. And then you were assigned to lead a feature story on a recording artist and producer, you had to travel back and forth to two different locations every single day for two months.

It was easier to shove the dust underneath the rug, and Jimin would do just that each time he was faced with his troubles with you.

You never spoke about the dinner, or the talk of children that he knew you would prefer than a marriage that could end up in flames like your parents had.

He was disappointed, but it’s his fault too. He should have been the one to reach out and discuss it with you. Jimin knew that, yet he never had the guts to do it.

A coward and a cheat. He would hide in the safest possible space he could find, in Yoojin’s inviting presence that reminded him he mattered.

They would spend hours in either his office or hers, just sitting down and laughing over nonsense. Drinks were bought, food was made in advance - Yoojin did most of the work, like a guardian angel ready to save him from another despair.

It became a norm - a routine, a habit Jimin could never break. Not even when you finally came home after two months, excitedly jumping and telling him about getting promoted yet again.

You told him about the praises, the endless compliments you received - the potential deal off of an international publishing house happening because of you.

You never saw the indifference in him, or the scent of another woman’s perfume in his suit. If you did, he would have confessed - that it was Yoojin, but he would be honest.

Nothing more than a shared laughter and infinite conversation happened, at least not yet.

Jimin somehow wished you would figure it out, maybe that way he could find the strength to tell you everything. To admit how lost he’d been - how your crippling fear of a failed marriage consumed the life out of him.

What he didn’t know was that you never even knew that yourself. It might have slipped out that you’re not sure of him before - but it never meant that you didn’t consider settling down with him.

You just needed a push, a reminder, a tug on your sleeve - like the tug on his sleeve Yoojin kept giving him once he’s at the door, ready to come home to you.

“I know you don’t want to talk about this but, why are you still with her despite all this?”

Back then, Jimin had a definite answer. He loved you. But that felt more of a lie than ever.

He shrugged her off, ignoring the pain in the pit of his stomach. He’d still come home to you - until Yoojin took a bigger risk that Jimin was too weak of a person to ignore.

“I ran into her at a bookstore the other day.. I think she knows who I am,” she told him. It shifted the gears inside his head, putting on his best suit for impact. He needed another escape, another way for you not to catch him.

From running away to leave his problems for a fun, interesting night with his ex-lover, to running away from you. He knew you would hate him. You would laugh and tell him you were right.

That he was the image of your father.

He’s not - at least that’s what he wanted to believe in.

Yoojin convinced him to drive her home, made him think you probably had started to suspect, when all you did was work and try to write. You never had a clue.

What started out as a fun conversation filled with childhood banter and genuine laughter, turned into a reckless escapade of lies, deceit, betrayal.

The sleek movement, of stolen glances and playful stares - caught on by someone who always stood on the sidelines, admiring the likable professor, charismatic and effortlessly beautiful;

There watching the affair gets fueled by the risk of breaking rules and bending morals, was Hyejin. She liked her mentor - from the day he called her name in class, praising her paper.

She knew about the girlfriend for six years at that point, even greeted her at a function where the professor brought her with him.

Hyejin thought you were as strict and unnerving as Professor Min, but you were far from that. You were beyond what her mentor, the enigmatic department head Park Jimin deserved.

She couldn’t believe how you were able to put up with that man.

But that’s a poison Jimin began to carry around him since he began his illicit affair with Yoojin.

He learned how to deceive everyone around him, worse, including you.

Living a double life was easier than having to keep searching for reasons why you wouldn’t want to marry him, or have children with him.

If only Hyejin wasn’t the stubborn kind that she was, she would have told you everything. She would have shown you how evil that man had turned into.

Yet up until the seventh year of your relationship with Jimin, no one had come to share the truth with you - despite the signs being there all along.

You had to find out on your own, without anyone to hold onto - in the worst, possible way.

It was a countdown to the end - clock’s ticking, and it was loud inside your head. You walked up the stairs to his office, greeted by the warm smiles of students and fellow professors. It was a normal weekday, and you were surprising him with a gift.

You held your head high, but not enough for you to stand out - maybe because the majority of the people you came across thought your relationship with Jimin was over.

The last step before reaching his floor, you bumped into someone. Taller than you, pale-skinned, slightly muscular build, in formal, corporate suit. You apologized, and he did too, crouching down to your level as he took the bag from the ground with Jimin’s gift inside.

A silver necklace with a crescent moon pendant.

You looked up but the man was already staring at you.

“Oh.. I, I’m sorry again.. I didn’t see you…” you stammered, bowing your head at the stranger whose face changed into different expressions so fast in three seconds. “Y/N, right?”

“Yes, wait.. Do I know you? Sorry, I mean, I’m not really good at faces..”

“Min Yoongi,” he extended a handshake, you reluctantly accepted, confusion all over your face. He sighed, “You’re here for… Professor.. Park?”

You slowly nodded, “Oh, how did you–”

“I’m a psychiatrist, speaking of which, you should go home. It would be better for you…”

“Excuse me?”

“Believe me, in the end you’ll thank me for it. Giving my sister that satisfaction wouldn’t change anything. Go home and think about your life, yourself, your relationship. One day you will remember this moment and realize this isn’t for you.”

This was never for you. He was never for you. Because you were… you were always meant for you - and you only.

You listened and went home, watched as time turned and turned, reaching its breaking point.

A month later, you picked yourself up and let him go. Let yourself go despite knowing how difficult it would be to fall out of love with someone like Park Jimin.

You’ll have reasons to keep the love flowing out of you for him, a beautiful child who’s the image of you in every sense. But more so, you’ll have reasons to keep the love coming for you and the life you’ve chosen.

Something about time made Jimin feel frozen in place, while you were hours away, speeding like a bullet train ahead. You’re meant to learn things the hard way, but he was meant to learn much harder.

Something about time told you an hour in the future before you passed, that even then if you were given the chance to go back and experience a time in your life;

You wouldn’t have wanted to, at least not anymore - when the course of your life happened because you maneuvered it the best you could.

You lived through the fleeting, little moments of your existence, with the love not even time can measure. It’s endless, infinite - and only yours.

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#bts fanfic #bts jimin #jimin x reader #park jimin #jimin smut #jimin angst #park jimin angst #park jimin smut #jimin fanfic #jimin imagine #cheating au #exes au #time loop #butterfly effect #park jimin fanfic

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kimtaesss · 2 years

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Summary: your ex boyfriend from 2 years ago has returned. Despite wanting to avoid him at all cost it’s impossible when you both share the same friend group. To make things worse, he has come back with a girlfriend.

Pairing: Taehyung x reader; Yoongi x reader

Genre: angst, fluff, exes to (?), exes au

Warnings: messy feelings, unrequited love, rejection, stupid decision making, honestly just be prepared for chaos.

Chapters:

One: he’s back

Two: thinking of you

three: (tba)

Four: (tba)

taglist: @bjoriis @btsbangers @kimxhanbin131 @got7usernames @gotjimin13 @laylasbunbunny @rjsmochii @jhopeshopee @taeriffic @shydestinyyouth @tarahardcore @sukunasrealgf @whoa-jo @starlight-night0 @taebangtanbabe

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rainbowsuitcase · 10 months

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Jikook AU where after being betrayed, superhero Jungkook feels like his whole world ended. Lost and unsure where to go, he turns to the only man he knows would never stab him in the back - his nemesis Jimin, who was always kind enough to stab him in the front.

#prompt #superhero jungkook #villain jimin #more like antihero #jungkook x jimin #jikook au #former hero jimin #he was betrayed first #spoiler: they're exes #bts fic

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lilprincegoo · 8 months

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if the world was ending by chimout

jimin/jungkook

End of the World, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, Post-Break Up, Domestic Fluff

14.8k words

rating: T

“If you had known the world was ending,” Jeongguk begins, eyes fixing on Jimin’s, “would you still have left?”

#ship: jikook #au: apocalypse #angst #domestic #au: post-break up #getting back together #exes to lovers #jungkook ship #jimin ship #ao3 #bts ficrec #bts fic rec

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lokisasylum · 1 year

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"What is it this time?”

Jimin’s voice pulls him out first from his train of through before he even notices the drink being waved in front of his face.

“Another argument? Can’t sleep? Writer’s block or just a shitty night as usual?” The bartender guessed, now taking a seat next to Yoongi with a second drink for himself. “Thought you’d be getting on a plane by now.”

"You could say a bit of everything…" Yoongi answered quietly, taking a moment to down half the contents of the glass. The mild burning sensation down his throat calming his nerves from before. "Had to cancel a few things in the last minute, which consequentially led to me losing my flight too." He huffed in exasperation, "So in conclusion I wasted my whole weekend for nothing."

Jimin quirked an amused brow. "And out of the one hundred thirty one thousand bars and pubs in Seoul you decided to come to this one to drink your frustrations away?"

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No Ordinary Love

#yoonmin #yoonmin fic #exes to lovers #i wanted to be one of those annoying bitches on my tl who wouldn't shut up about the pics reminding them of some fic #jimin #yoongi #bts #bts fic #bts au #AO3 #ao3 fanfic #archive of our own

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ggukkiereads · 1 year

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hey, hope u r okay :)

i’m really hoping u can help me find this fic… it’s a jimin one, where oc and him are exes but they didn’t end in a bad way, and oc wants to have children, but she doesn’t want a son from a “stranger” so she asks jimin if he can be the father…

that’s all that i remembered sorry 😅

and also thank u sm, your blog always help me find amazing fics 💘💘

(english isn’t my first language so sorry for any mistakes)

🌷 I’m good, bub! Just jamming to Indigo and getting comforted by the songs 🥰. How are you? Hope you’re okay too!

So, if you are looking for one with Jimin as a doctor then it’s definitely Doctor Dreamy by @jungblue. =)

#fichunting #I added it to my jimin birthday reblogs but put it in my main account since it’s ongoing #jimin x reader #jungblue #doctor dreamy #jimin doctor au #jimin exes au #pjkthjjk #🌷 chats

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mncldstudio · 2 years

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“He misses him. Jimin. He misses everything about him, even the foolish things, like the cap of the toothpaste that always ends up who-knows-where, the chaos of pots and pans in the kitchen during breakfast, the ashtray that he never emptied abandoned on the small balcony.”

𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾’𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾𝗌. —

#yoonmin #yoonmin au #min yoongi #park jimin #bts suga #bts jimim #bts au fanfic #ex lovers

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seokjins-luigi · 2 years

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i hate everything about you | pt. 1 | pjm

・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader

・genre: exes to lovers | a lot of angst | a slightly little bit of a love triangle

18+

・word count: 6.7k

・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.

・banner: by the amazing @kookdiaries

・A/N: firstly, i want to wish our baby mochi the happiest of birthdays! i really wanted to have something to post on his birthday, since i couldn't do it for any of our other boys this year ):

i also want to say that i'm really happy/surprised with the huge amount of attention the teaser for this fic got! i felt so inspired, thank you all for taking your time to share it and to talk to me about it too !! <3

i hope you enjoy this first part and i promise i won't take too long to put out part 2! here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe also shoutout to the anon who asked for the black haired jimin header back lol this one's for you

as always, thank you to my fave person @primadonnasdream. without her, i would never be able to write any of my stories.

feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・taglist: @imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc

There are about eighteen thousand bars in Seoul. You know this because you’ve just googled it. Out of curiosity? Not really. Just because you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that out of all the bars in Seoul, all the eighteen thousand bars in Seoul, Jungkook had to pick the one where your ex is currently working.

Not to blame it on Jungkook, poor guy. There was no way in hell he could know this and you’re sure that if you told him, he’d be crushed, since, according to him, he’s been trying to muster up the courage to ask you out for months. To be fair, you didn’t even know Jimin had left his partner, Seokjin, and his own bar to start working behind the counter again. Not that it's any of your business, anyway. He can go to hell for all you care, especially after dumping your ass three days before your four year anniversary for some random girl he met on that stupid fucking bar of his.

That fucking stupid bar he clearly didn’t even own anymore. Joke’s on him.

It broke your heart in a way you’re not sure it’s ever going to heal. He meant the world to you, all that butterfly bullshit and everything. When he left you, it felt like your world was falling to pieces. You shared a life, even shared a home. A small apartment near his stupid fucking bar, you were so happy when you two finally moved in together.

Building intimacy takes time, compromising to someone else’s well being and happiness costs more than only your time. Learning how to share your space, your insecurities, your feelings, your everyday life. That shit takes time. Giving yourself to a person takes more than that. It takes courage.

You gave all of that and much more to Park Jimin. But you regret doing so with every fiber of your being. Learning to live your life again without having him in it was one of the hardest things you’ve had to do so far.

You had your share of revenge after fucking his best friend, Taehyung, and making sure to tell him about it when you went to your apartment to get his stuff back. If you felt like shit, you had to try to make him feel at least one percent of the heartbreak you had been feeling. After that, you heard that he and Taehyung got into a physical fight and had cut ties.

It was definitely not a very peaceful break up experience, both of you were extremely proud people and could not stand losing. It took you a great amount of therapy sessions in order to stop dreaming and thinking about him 24/7.

Do you still believe in love after that? You’re not sure, probably not, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun. Jungkook was a very sweet and flirty distraction in the middle of your heartbreak. Not to mention the guy is hot as fuck, but right now, you swear you could just punch him in the face.

Because out of all the bars in Seoul, here you are. At the one your fucking nasty ex boyfriend works in.

As soon as you walked in, you felt something was off with this one. It felt like the universe itself was trying to spare you from this experience. Of course, you didn’t listen to your intuition, especially because Jungkook told you a friend of his has been talking wonders about the drinks from this specific bar.

Once you looked over at the bar, you saw him. For a split second, you froze. He looked as gorgeous as ever, dark locks obscuring his eyes from where you could see. You didn't allow yourself to feel any type of way with the sight of him, you were over him, you definitely didn't want to go back to the pit where you recently came out of, thank you very much. He was too busy with whatever he was doing at the moment to notice you, fortunately. You just rushed over to Jungkook, locking your arms out of nervousness, leaving him quite giddy about it.

Did you ask him to leave and look for another place to spend the night? No.

Should you have done so? Maybe.

But you wouldn't deny yourself the satisfaction of showing Jungkook off to him in the place Jimin works. It didn't matter that only looking at him made you miss him more than words can ever say, you know that he’d feel pissed out of his mind. You’d deal with your feelings some other time.

“Looks nice, huh?” Jungkook asks you with a sweet smile hanging on his pierced lips, bringing you back to planet Earth.

You nod faintly, showing him a warm smile.

“There's a balcony back there, do you see it?” He asks again, holding your hand now. You weren’t even able to react to Jungkook’s gestures properly, you were too lost in your thoughts about Jimin. “It’s got a very nice view of the city, if anything, we can take some nice photos here. You look hot, by the way”.

“Oh- I- Thanks, Jungkook. You too, by the way”, you tried smirking. “A-Are we getting a table or what?”

You usually don’t get thrown off by his compliments. You love when it happens, of course, but you’re usually good at flirting, you see he gets slightly puzzled as to why would you react like that all of a sudden.

“Are you okay, Y/n?” He asks you, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb, a little concern can be sensed in his voice tone.

“Of course! Why do you ask?” You reply, tilting your head a bit, trying to sound convincingly confused.

You would not simply ruin your date by mentioning your ex boyfriend is the bartender he’s been listening compliments about.

“Nevermind… Why don’t you go ahead and grab us a spot on the balcony? I’ll do the honors and order our drinks. Any preferences?”

“Surprise me”, you challenge him, squeezing his hand before letting go of it, still trying to hold the confident demeanor he’s used to.

You head over to the balcony, not really looking over at the bar, trying your best to forget about the fact that Jimin was here and could notice you’re here too at any moment. The most annoying thing about this situation is that you’re feeling too nervous about seeing him. Much more than you should be.

So what Jimin is here? You’re over him, remember? Get your shit together. You’re here with Jungkook, enjoy your date.

You try distracting yourself by scrolling on your social media, not really paying attention to anything in particular, just trying to keep your mind away from Jimin. You can’t really understand why you feel almost shaky, maybe that’s how your body reacts to someone you hate.

You only had the courage to look into his direction again when you felt Jungkook was coming back to your table, with a warm expression adorning his beautiful features, holding two drinks in his hands. It would have been the beginning of a nice date, if you couldn’t see Jimin’s eyes shooting daggers in your direction from above Jungkook’s shoulder.

Yes, he’s seen you already. Of course he’s seen you.

Naturally, since you noticed Jimin’s eyes on you, you were simply not able to relax. Jungkook was acting like his normal charming self, completely unaware of what was going on inside your head. You simply nodded whenever it felt like he was waiting for a reply from you.

“Why are you nodding? Did you hear what I said?” He asks you, with an embarrassed half smile, making you feel slightly guilty for not giving him the attention he deserves.

Damn you, Park Jimin.

“Sorry, Kook, I zoned out for a second. What was the question again?”

“I said the restrooms here are amazing and that you should see it”, he repeats himself, pointing to the drink in front of you, he continues. “I need to use the toilet again, by the way, do you want another mimosa?”

“Oh, sure. Thanks”, you reply with a gentle smile, the nicest one you could flash at him.

You honestly liked him. He was a very good person, from what you could tell. Unfortunately, you completely lost the focus on this date, maybe it was your fight or flight instincts taking over your thoughts, but the only thing you could think about was Jimin’s burning gaze on you and how badly you wanted to escape.

You were pretty sure you got over him, he’s your past. That’s a fact. He is past, there’s no other way. The idea that he can look at you like you’re doing something wrong by moving on with your life makes you feel livid, that’s all there is to it.

He’s always had the talent to make everything be about him, but this time around it genuinely pisses you off. This whole situation was actually just a coincidence, he’s the one needing to get over himself.

“So, who’s the idol wannabe?” A voice startles you.

A voice you know all too well.

Following the sound of this voice with your eyes, you contemplate the one and only Park Jimin, the man who cheated on you. The once love of your life. You refuse to allow his presence to affect you in any type of way, though.

“Idol wannabe?” You snort, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Oh, you mean my date? Wow, Mini, you sound so frustrated when you put it like that… Cause, you know, you’re an ex idol wannabe too”.

“Very funny, babe. Who’s the guy?” He jerks his head in the direction Jungkook went, with an authoritative expression on his face.

Like he had any right to be asking you questions about your life.

“What’s that, Mini? A public jealousy display?” You figured the best way to deal with him was by not giving him what he wants.

“Isn't that what you wanted bringing him to the place I work?”

“I can’t believe- Why do you think I care about how you feel or don’t feel, Park Jimin-ssi?” You blurt out, trying to keep your composure as much as possible. The last thing you want is to make a scene. “It’s funny that you think I’d give myself the trouble to make you feel jealous. I didn't even know you left The Wave”.

“And you expect me to believe that?” He cocks his brows, eyes not leaving your face. “You're a character, Y/l/n Y/n-ssi”.

“As I’ve stated before, Park Jimin-ssi, I do not care about anything that’s related to you anymore. I’m sorry if my presence here feels like an insult or whatever, but, you know… You should have moved on with your life by now too”, as you spit these words at him, you see his eyes flickering with an indignation he would not be allowed to lash out the way you know he wants to, because, after all, this is where he works. “So, if you excuse me, my date can come back at any second and I have no interest in letting him know you’re my ex”.

He grimaced, not uttering another word. That is so unlike him, it’s funny... and kind of weird. He has quite the explosive demeanor and you know you were kind of harsh to him right now. You almost feel guilty, but then you remember how humiliating it was finding out about his infidelity.

What he made you go through was way worse.

Placing a Daiquiri glass in front of you on the table, he smirks, but you see his smile does not really meet his eyes, covered by a darker cloak you couldn’t actually explain where it came from.

“Alright, Y/n-ssi. Here’s your drink”, bowing to you, as he takes his leave. “You’re looking as gorgeous as ever. Good luck with your idol boy”.

“Jimin-ssi, that’s not really what we ordered”, you raise your voice tone slightly, just so you made sure he could hear you.

“Oh, I know, babe. But we both know you’re not really much of a mimosa woman”, he answers, the irony lying underneath every single one of the words that came out of his mouth, turning to you again. “I know you very well, unlike your date, apparently. Don’t worry, this one’s a little more expensive, so, it’s on me”.

He blinks at you, turning on his heels again, this time around not taking another glance in your direction again, leaving you with an almost bittersweet taste in your mouth, that only goes away when you see Jungkook’s smile getting near you again.

He sits in front of you again and you honestly don’t understand how you allowed Jimin to get under your skin for even a split second. Jungkook was everything you could ask for a guy to be: stunning, into you and not your complicated ex.

“A daiquiri?” He asks you in a gentle tone, knitting his brows together. “Sorry, I guess the bartender didn't understand what I said”.

“No. It’s fine, I’ve started drinking this one already”, you state.

It’s kind of cute that he paid attention to you to a degree in which he noticed the drink you were having. He’s a sweetheart, but Jimin was right, at the end of the day. You’re not much of a mimosa girl.

“Don't worry, he’s the one who made the mistake… I’m sure he’ll bring you a new one”, Jungkook turns in what you know is Jimin's direction, with his right arm raised, gesturing for him to come over to your table. Then, he turns back to you, with a sweet smile hanging from his pierced lips. “He’s coming”.

Jungkook calling him over was something you simply didn't expect to happen, you didn't have time to react, to think about something to say or for a reason to stop him. You figured you couldn’t have a very strong reaction here, since for all that matters to your date, this guy is just the bartender, not your ex-boyfriend from a relationship that ended really badly.

Naturally, it doesn’t take Jimin more than ten seconds to get to you, and knowing Jimin, he would stop anything he was doing so he could come over and be petty, if possible.

“Can I help you?” You hear his voice, but refuse to turn your head in his direction.

You know he’s looking at you, though.

“We have actually ordered a mimosa, but, maybe there was some confusion, and we ended up getting a daiquiri instead. I was wondering if there’s something we can do about it”, Jungkook had both sides of his mouth turned up in a likeable smile, as he gazed in Jimin’s direction.

You know Jungkook’s niceness would only piss Jimin off even more.

“Oh, yes, the daiquiri. There’s no mistake, actually”, Jimin mimics the smile Jungkook flashed at him, but you know his isn't a heartfelt one. “I think it suits her better than a mimosa. Anything else?”

“I’m sorry?” Your date’s brows snapped together and the niceness in his smile dissolved into disbelief. “How did you come to a conclusion about the type of drink she prefers?”

“Oh, believe me, I know it”, Jimin snapped back, in a controlled tone.

Jungkook’s eyes darted in your direction, kind of looking for some sort of endorsement to what he was saying to Jimin, obviously baffled by the boldness of this guy. He, obviously, didn’t find the same kind of expression on your features. It didn’t take him too long to understand that something was off, in a split second, you saw the realization dawning in his face.

You felt cold to your bones, concentrating on using every single bit of what was left from your self control in order not to run away from this bar and leave both of them bickering over the goddamned daiquiri.

“Well, she seems pleased with your choice of drink”, Jungkook tried, clearing his throat. “Thank you for your service, I guess. Keep up with the good work”.

Jimin bows to Jungkook and then to you.

The atmosphere Jimin leaves behind is so heavy you can almost touch it, you feel the air weighing all around you and Jungkook, who was focused on playing with the napkins on the right side of your table. You open your mouth, but the words just refuse to leave your lips.

You don't even know how to start. What could you possibly say in a situation like that? Most importantly, would you be able to actually explain anything without bursting into tears in front of Jungkook? Not only did you run into your ex for the first time in almost a year, but also he had to come over and make a scene in front of the guy you were seeing.

It was only your second date with Jungkook, after going out for a very nice dinner, in which the two of you couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at each other’s jokes. If only you two had gone two any other of the eighteen thousand bars in this city, you would have never seen Jimin and you’d also not be feeling this terrible uneasiness in your chest.

“So”, Jungkook breaks the silence, but you see he’s still looking at his hands as if those damn napkins were the most amusing thing in the world. “You apparently know each other”.

“We do. But honestly, I don’t really want to get onto this, Jungkook. Sorry”, you confess, not really knowing if you’re angry or simply dejected by this encounter.

Jungkook could have also just not mentioned the fact that it was clear you and Jimin have some kind of history. Why do men have to be so clueless all the time? Honestly, it feels like a curse liking men sometimes. The whole situation was so off putting, you truly just wanted to go home, it didn’t matter Jungkook was hot and the nicest guy ever, Jimin was able to kill the mood for you completely.

You see Jungkook is fighting some sort of internal battle and you feel extremely bad for being the reason behind it.. He had been the sweetest person you had a date with in a very long time. You obviously were not ready to try dating again, Jimin was still all over you, and unfortunately, not only figuratively speaking.

"I'm so sorry for dragging you into this mess", you finally break the silence, making Jungkook look at you again. "I honestly don't feel so good right now…"

"Yeah, I imagined. All I can do is wholeheartedly tell you that it's alright if you wanna go home or something. I don't really know what happened between the two of you, but I can tell something definitely happened", he sympatized and you could tell he was being genuine, not really knowing why, you just saw it in his eyes.

You feel like going home, for sure. Just laying in bed for a couple of hours and crying your eyes out would be the only medicine for this. Maybe, tomorrow after work, you’d need the “best friend plus romantic sad movies combo”, but you’d be alright. Unfortunately, seeing Jimin after this time apart was not as easy as you thought. You just knew that the lump in your throat wouldn't just disappear after installing itself there once again.

Looking deep into Jungkook's eyes, searching for some sort of judgment or resentment, which you do not find, you muster up the strength to be fully honest. If nothing, he deserved it.

"I do want to go, Jungkook", you confess, taking his hand, that rested upon the table, into yours and squeezing it lightly. "I'm really sorry for being a louzy date tonight. I promise I'll try to make it up to you".

"Hey, don't worry…" He says softly. Jungkook squeezes your hand back, but lets go of it and pulls it back, leaving yours hanging on the table by itself. "I have kind of waited a long time to ask you out, but I can wait some more. Date number one was amazing, but we can’t always win. I just want us to have a good time together. I'll let you make it up to me, it's fine".

“I’m really sorry…”

“It’s fine”, he shakes his head, a soft smile hanging loosely on his pierced lips, sounding convincing enough to you. He is genuinely a good person. “But for out next date, you’re the one who should be asking me out. Deal?”

He extends his tattooed hand to you, still beaming at you.

“Fair enough”, you shake his hand back, feeling a little better for his reassurance. “Deal”.

You must be the most stupid person to ever walk this earth and you know it. Losing your chance with a guy like Jungkook is one of the most ridiculous things you've ever put yourself through. But what can you objectively do? You just ran into your ex and it was awful. You just wanted to cry curled up onto your pillows until you forgot, once again, what the sound of Jimin's voice felt like against your ears. You were in no mood for small talk and flirtation anymore. It was better ending the night like this, than being a statue around him, right? And if he said you could make it up to him later, you could really try to.

You know that if you weren't feeling this blue, you'd be embarassed as fuck. Maybe, tomorrow, you will.

Jungkook insists on paying for your drinks, saying that you could pay on the next time. Good to know that he's really counting on a next time and he didn't say it just to be polite before. Fortunately, he doesn't really offer to take you home and you call yourself a car. All you wanted was to be alone with your thoughts for a while.

This whole situation wouldn't be this awful if you didn't feel Jimin's eyes on you the whole fucking time. You knew he was watching the whole scene unravel in front of his eyes with an indescribable delight.

Indeed, he won this time. But you could only hope that this was the only battle he'd win from now on. You needed to find your way back to yourself.

And you will, it’ll just take you a little bit of time again.

The light breeze gently touches your skin, as you feel the warmness of the rising sun delicately kissing your hair. The star emerges from behind the hills, as you stand in front of them, tall and strong, deeply rooted to the depths of the earth.

Suddenly, you hear a very loud noise, sounding like a distant bell. Looking around you, you’re not able to find the source of it. It’s not possible that it’s coming from one of the trees, is it?

You hear it again, this time, longer and more annoyingly depriving you from enjoying this beautiful day out in the meadows.

But then, you realize this is a dream. And as soon as the realization hits you, you wake up. You hate being an occasional lucid dreamer, who wakes up as soon as you notice you’re in a dream. It has prevented you from fulfilling many of your fantasies with your celebrity crushes because you always feel like the scenarios are too good to be true.

Then you hear the unblessed noise that woke you up one more time, noticing it’s been the sound of your doorbell this whole time. Finally finding your phone, after your hands grop on your bedside table looking for it, you see it’s 3:27 in the morning. Why the hell would anyone ring your doorbell in such an ungodly hour?

Well, a burglar wouldn’t ring the doorbell, right? You reason, trying not to freak the fuck out.

The doorbell rings one more time, then you hear what seems to be a muffled attempt at verbal communication. Should you go to the door? Should you call the cops? You have no idea.

It could be one of your neighbors looking for help. What if it was an emergency?

“Mrs. Hong? Is that you?” You blurted, voice a bit shaky from the anticipation.

You hear another muffled response, not really understanding anything this person is saying, but you know it definitely isn’t Mrs. Hong.

Fuck, Y/n, are you stupid? Whoever this is, now they know you’re inside!

You feel your whole body starting to tremble, heartbeat racing as the worst images possible flash through your mind. You want to go back to your bedroom, call the cops and hide under your bed until someone comes to save you from whoever is this weirdo at your doorstep. The sound of your parents’ voice saying you were crazy for moving out of their house to live by yourself echo through your brain and you can feel the tears start brewing in the corners of your eyes when you’re able to distinguish a word from the muffled bumbling from outside your door.

You are positive you heard the person finishing their sentence with a “babe”. Instantly, you feel a warm wave of relaxation invading your body, in contrast with the uneasy feeling you had a minute ago. You know exactly who it is on the other side of your door. Looking at the peephole, you find the exact person you expected to see leaning against your door frame. Park Jimin. A very, very drunk Park Jimin, from what you can see.

Your hand goes straight to the door handle, opening the door with a blunt movement. When he realizes what’s happening, his eyes land on yours and you see them turning into the shapes of small crescent moons, as a smile rests on his plumpy lips.

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack, Jimin-ssi! What the fuck are you doing here?” you bark, watching the smile disappear from his face.

“Sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to scare you! I just want to talk to you and if I’m here, it’s your fault! I could have just called, but you fucking blocked me everywhere”, he pants in a high pitched voice, one he uses when he’s allowing his irritating to take control over him.

“It’s almost four in the morning… You’re clearly drunk… I really don’t want to do this, Jimin”, you state, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Please, get the fuck out of here before you disturb my neighbors too”.

Slamming the door on his face, you turn on your heels towards your bedroom, but before you’re able to walk four steps in its direction, Jimin’s voice can be heard from the inside again. Only this time, he didn’t have his face buried on your door and he was shouting in front of your house.

“Y/n-ssi! I just want to talk to you, pleaseee”, and the there was a knock on your door. “Y/n-ssi! Let me in, Y/n-ssi!”

You feel your blood boiling like magma in your veins, knowing you gave him the perfect weapon to use against you when you mentioned your neighbors. He knows you wouldn’t want these people to talk about you, to talk about the guy who was making a fuss by yelling your name for the whole street to hear in front of your house. You know him and you know that he knows how he plays his games, even when he’s drunk. In a blunt movement, you open the door and grab Jimin by his coat, this time, dragging him inside.

For a second, the two of you just stare at each other. Due to the closeness, you’re able to sense the scent of his cologne, the musky one you gave him on the last Valentine’s day the two of you have spent as a couple. You hate him even more for not getting rid of what’s left of you in him.

“You wanted to talk, didn’t you? So, talk!” You hiss, crossing your arms in front of your chest, feeling the need to break the silence before you did something you’d end up regretting.

He blinks, clearly still mesmerized by the fact that his lousy strategy to get you to do what he wanted worked.

“I saw you left not even five minutes later from that… Well, awkward moment”, he wiggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly as he speaks. “You got yourself a nice suitor, huh?”

“The moment was awkward all thanks to you!” You fumed, unconsciously raising your pointer finger in his direction. “You asshole!”

“Why am I the asshole here? I just told him the truth!” He stated emphatically, with a flicker in his eyes you were just not able to identify precisely.

You were able to smell the alcohol in his breath, due to the closeness, and you felt even more disgusted to be in his presence.

“After cheating on me, you think you have the right to come back and interfere in my love life?” You whisper, angrily. It feels like the temperature in your house is rising, but you know it’s just your anger making you feel hot on the inside. “What did I do to you, Jimin-ssi? Why do you feel like destroying my life every chance you get? Just leave me alone!”

You see your words have an effect on him and whatever he was about to say, you feel like your words have just stopped him from going on. He sighs loudly and when you were about to kick him out of your house, he starts again.

“Who… Who is he, babe?” He looked down as the question finally left his lips.

You almost missed him, his arms around you, his voice whispering soft words in your ears. You almost allow his vulnerable demeanor to get to you.

Almost, but you know better.

Sighing, just like he did seconds ago, you voiced.

“Why do you even care, Jimin? You have nothing to do with my life anymore, you know?” You run your hands through your hair, nervously, looking away from him for a second. “As I’ve told you earlier today, you should’ve moved on by now, after all, you were the one who chatead. Own up to your mistakes, dear, you’re a grown ass man. And stop calling me babe!”

He looks at you, wide eyed after you snap at him. The fact that after all these months without seeing him, you were finally able to say everything you wanted to say to his face brought you some sort of relief.

“When I saw you today, after all the time we’ve been apart, I realized that's the problem… I have nothing to do with your life anymore. I miss you, Y/n”.

It's so hard to hear him saying those things. Mostly, because, deep down you know you miss him too. It hurts so bad to know that you can never have him back, despite loving him. You'd never be able to truly let go of what he did to you. Acknowledging it was the hardest part, it felt like the lump in your throat just got bigger.

“You can't change that unless you have a time machine”, you said under your breath, more to yourself than to him.

“I can't believe he took this away from me too… Fuck…", he snorts, rubbing his face harshly with both of his hands.”

“What are you trying to say? Who is he?", you ask him impatiently. You would not have him just throwing crazy and riddled information at you at this point. "Are you talking about Taehyung?

“No. It's not about Taehyung. Nevermind", his eyelids drop as he mumbles.

“Really? Is that how shit’s gonna go down? You come to my house to pester me in the middle of the night like you had the right to still be in my life after what you did? And you talk in riddles, like, if there's something I still need to know, now's the only time!” You stop, trying to find the right words to try to get to him as much as he did to you. He didn't move, his eyes were still closed as you spoke. As he made no move, you felt like you could continue. “You know what’s funny, though? I guess if things had worked out with miss thing, you wouldn’t be here right now. So, thank you for showing me you’re just a lonely piece of shit. It's good to know you're in pain too”.

“You still have no idea, do you?” He snorts, mouth agape as he eyed you.

“Oh well, I don't know if I do. Please, enlighten me, Jimin-ssi. Did the illuminati make you cheat on me or something?"” Scorn spewing out of your words.

He looks at you once more, his eyes burning with longing. It just made your blood boil even more inside of your veins.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I can’t even say how all of that broke my heart in, like, one million pieces”, he whimpered lowly, his head down as the words left his lips, not really entertaining your mockery.

You snort.

“How all of that broke your heart? Have you considered that if you had not cheated, we’d still be together? Have you thought about how all of that broke my heart?” You poke him angrily on his chest, feeling the unwelcome misery settling once more in your chest once you heard Jimin’s words. “It was all your fault, Jimin! If we’re not together right now, it's your fault! You broke my heart!”

You vomit all those words at him, holding back the years with every single bit of strength left in you. His eyes travel up to meet yours as you spoke, Jimin’s features are clouded by something you can’t quite name. Is it regret? It must be, it’s the only thing that makes sense. Maybe he’s genuinely sad about it too, but it honestly doesn’t matter. Or maybe there was really something he was trying to tell.

Whatever it is, hee deserves to deal with it on his own. You don’t have to allow him to drag you back to the hole of pain you were able to come out of, very recently, by the way.

“You’re right, Y/n-ssi. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have come here, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He sighs, running his hands through his dark locks that fell to the sides, looking partially messed, in a very attractive way. “Again, I’m sorry. For everything. Maybe, someday-”.

“Yeah, sure. It doesn’t matter anymore”, you cut him short. You just can’t do this anymore, you can’t listen to him whining. Not without bursting into tears and you definitely didn't want to cry in front of him.

On the other hand, the attraction you feel for him, right now, standing before your front door, his features barely lit by the only source of light coming from your bedroom behind you. You hate him for still looking great, for still messing with you, for still being the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. You hate yourself too for feeling like that about him, after all this time.

“Is… This guy. Is he nice to you?” He breaks the silence, his voice as soft as feather touch against your ears.

“He’s just a guy, Jimin. But just stop… Stop asking”, you mutter. “Please, just go”.

He nods, still gazing at you with his magnetic dark eyes.

“I hope you know this”, he points to himself and to you, as he jerks his head in your direction. “Us. Me being here. It means I still have very strong feelings for you. Very strong feelings I can’t control, I guess”.

“I don’t wanna know, Jimin-ssi. Really”.

“I’m sorry, but by the way you still look at me… I’m sure there's still something there. Maybe you’ve done a nice job locking it away, but I know it’s still there”.

“I don’t-”, you stop yourself, and turn to him with a louder tone. “Just fucking go!”

The control you had over yourself so far was gone, you just want him out of your sight. Hopefully, out of your mind too.

When it finally seemed like he was ready to leave, he turned to you once more, gazing intensely into your eyes. Before you had the chance to tell him the get the fuck out for the last time, he had his arms around your waist and his lips found yours; hungrily.

His kiss was exactly the way you remembered. Intense. Passionate. Breathtaking. Right. It just felt like home. His tongue pursues yours in a fervent twirl and your tongue corresponds in the same intensity. His hand travels upwards, resting on the nape of your neck, spreading a pleasurable warm sensation where it touched.

He pins you up against the wall, his lips not leaving yours for a split second. He pressed his body against yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck, enclosing any space that could be left between your body and his. He felt so warm against you and the way his touch felt against your skin made it impossible for your brain to think about anything other than the right now and how much you longed for him.

“I’ve missed this”, he said softly, his plumpy lips against yours. “So much”.

He presses his lips against yours once more, but now you realize you can taste the soju on his tongue. Then, you come to your senses.

You’re missing your drunk ex-boyfriend in the middle of the night. This is the man who cheated on you. The man who made a fool out of you and didn’t give a fuck about your feelings. You swore you wouldn't allow him to touch ever again. Here you are, breaking your own promise. Worse part is, maybe he won’t even remember anything that was said or done when we wakes up tomorrow.

In an instinctive impulse, you push him as hard as you can, trying to create as much distance as possible from Jimin. You don't face him long enough to know what happens to him, besides the confused look on his face after forcing him away from you.

“Jimin-ssi… Just get the fuck out of my house”, you start babbling, but trying to control the wobbliness in your voice.

You hate yourself for being so weak, all it took him was a kiss and you almost dropped all the defenses you’d worked so hard to build up.

“Y/n, just hear me out, please… I wanna tell you everything”, he cried out, his somewhat wobbly voice coming from behind you.

“Jimin, please!” You murmur, imploring. “Just leave me alone.

And there was silence. It felt like time had stopped, you just focused on not allowing the weight on your chest to take over you. You don’t know how long it takes, but you hear your front door being slammed, then all you could do was allow yourself the tears you were holding back to roll down your cheeks in an attempt to release this pain from your chest.

part 2

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