#jily one shot

[petals2fish]

Pinky Promise (Tummy Hurts)

He’s in love with her. 

Lily Evans couldn't shake off the irritation that manifested as a clenched jaw as she observed the way James Potter gazed at Cassie Gregory during the first five minutes of the Quidditch game. She hadn’t been able to eat that morning, anticipating this scenario in countless ways in her head. It was worse in real life, and now anxious bubbles were building in her stomach, making her queasy.

Cassie Gregory was a remarkable blonde standing at an impressive six-foot-one, perfectly complementing James' towering six-foot-three frame. It was no surprise that she seemed to captivate him, she caught everyone’s eye. Lily observed Cassie's radiant golden locks glimmering in the sunlight as she confidently leaned on her broomstick, overseeing the Quidditch field with sharp, hawk-like eyes in pursuit of the elusive Snitch for Gryffindor’s victory. Cassie's determined jawline and flawless physique were evident even from Lily's elevated position in the stands.

Lily knew why James was smitten with Cassie, but that didn’t make the matter any less annoying. (Read on A03)

Cassie was older, a skilled Quidditch player, and embodied the attractive sports girl aesthetic. Despite her popularity, Cassie's leadership in the dueling club, coupled with a penchant for jinxing those who crossed her, revealed a somewhat narcissistic nature. 

Naturally, Cassie prioritized personal victory over the team's success. She wasn’t captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but she sure as hell acted like it sometimes. Even now she was shouting orders at Marlene, one of Lily’s friends, to stop missing passes. Lily half wished Marlene would tackle the blonde off her broom, but Marlene was better at self control than Lily was. 

“And Potter’s got the quaffle, he’s heading down the field!” The commentator announced loudly.

Lily looked through her binoculars and found James, leading a chase with the quaffle down field. His arm muscle flexed over the ball, and Lily felt her heart jump when he turned his head and she got to see his cocky smile directed at his opponent. She’d give anything to see that smile aimed at her, in a dark hallway. 

Sadly, they were just friends, and she likely couldn’t hold a candle to Cassie fucking Gregory. Lily was the opposite, as far as Cassie was concerned. Firstly, she was James' age; secondly, she did not fly a broomstick. To top it all off, her tits might be good to look at, but her arse was no contender as it was flatter than a pancake. At five foot two, she was tiny standing next to him and probably reminded James of a third year. Her compassionate nature and tendency to care deeply also made her quick to erupt into tears, thanks to her big heart. 

Good tits and a big heart, Lily had certainly thought that’d be enough until now. 

As James passed by Lily’s side of the stadium, a high-five exchange with Cassie ensued, briefly illuminated by the sun. Lily's discomfort intensified when Cassie blew James a kiss. Her face collapsed and anyone who actually cared about her, would’ve noticed she’d gone completely still. Stillness was never a good sign where Lily was concerned. 

She heard James’ laugh chase the wind, and she felt her knees weaken. He had the biggest, loudest, most intoxicating laugh she’d ever heard. Jealousy sprung into her throat as she realized he was laughing because of something Cassie had said, and that was not okay. Lily didn’t understand why it wasn’t okay, but Merlin, she’d love to block Cassie from even looking his way.

Lily sighed deeply.

"Ugh," came an agreeing tone next to her. "Two jocks flirting in mid-air. They're disgusting."

"For what it's worth, they'd make beautiful babies," she murmured to Severus Snape, her best friend, trying to sound as if she were casually discussing the weather rather than the stomachache she had from realizing she wasn’t even in James’ league.

"Yeah, and raise them up to be a couple of monsters like their mother and father," Severus rolled his eyes. 

“They aren’t monsters, Sev.”

"People as dimwitted as those two airheads shouldn't be able to reproduce."

“Cassie is the best dueler in her year, and James is—”

“A bully?” Sev counted off on his fingers. “A idiot, a showoff, a arrogant toe—”

“He’s all of those things,” Lily placed a hand on Sev’s knee to calm him down, “but Potter can still outpace us both in test scores.”

“He probably cheats,” Sev picked lint off his robes. “I’m sure he cheats, actually.”

“Okay, Sev.” Lily rolled her eyes, knowing for a fact James wasn’t cheating; he was just too smart for his own good. 

It’s what got him into trouble the most. 

It got Lily in trouble too.

Turns out, she had a type, and arrogant jocks with good grades were it. 

Lily chewed on her lip, her green eyes zeroing in on James, who had just captured the Quaffle from Ravenclaw. Actually, no, Hufflepuff was playing. Oops . Lily just didn’t really care to notice, given that she’d been fixated on the interplay between Cassie and James. She was obsessively trying to decipher if the rumor about them was true, and it was eating her alive inside. 

She hadn’t even been able to eat breakfast that morning.

Severus nudged her gently, breaking her concentration. "What's with you today?"

She tore her gaze away from James and Cassie, glancing at Severus with a half-hearted smile. "Just not in the mood for Quidditch, I guess."

Severus raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "You love quidditch."

Lily sighed, admitting defeat. "Not today, I don’t."

Severus snorted. "Well, then why did you drag me out when we could’ve been looking for bowtruckles for my potion?”

As Lily tried to redirect her attention to the match, her mind continued to wander back to the topic of James and Cassie. The Quaffle passed between players, and she half-heartedly cheered when Gryffindor scored. The game was fun, but Lily couldn't shake the knot in her stomach, wondering about the truth behind the rumors.

Everyone was buzzing about James Potter supposedly snogging Cassie yesterday in Hogsmeade. Lily had been occupied with prefect rounds and missed the first half of the Hogsmeade trip, while everyone else seemed to have witnessed it. Even her own housemates claimed to have spotted James Potter and Cassie Gregory engaging in a passionate display.

Marlene McKinnon had practically erupted in outrage when she returned, screaming at Mary MacDonald about the alleged incident. It wasn't necessarily because she wanted James Potter for herself; Marlene genuinely despised Cassie with a fiery passion. This animosity had ignited when Cassie 'accidentally' broke the rules at the dueling club to beat Marlene in a duel of charms. Anytime anything good happened to Cassie, Marlene took it as a personal affront.

Lily couldn't blame Marlene for her tantrum. She, too, had been furious. She had closed the curtains to her bed frame and cried into her pillow for thirty minutes after hearing the news. It felt like a knife in the back, as if she'd been betrayed by the young black-haired Quidditch star. 

After all, Lily had kissed James three weeks ago. 

The kiss had been a secret one.

But the fact was still a fact. 

In the quiet solitude of the library stacks, they had found themselves alone. Engaging in a casual conversation, the topic shifted to the revelation that neither James nor Lily had ever been kissed. James expressed his frustration, feeling out of step with their peers who had already experienced such things. In response, Lily shared her own apprehensions on the matter.

Lily, perhaps impulsively, had offered to be James's first kiss. 

Initially he had conveyed uncertainty. "I don't know if it's a good idea. I don't want to ruin our friendship.”

“I pinky swear it won't ruin our friendship.” Lily had stuck her pinky finger out, grasping it with his own.

His eyes were lighting up as she forcibly shook their pinky fingers together. “A pinky swear doesn’t seem legally binding.” 

Then he kissed her anyway.

Officially, he had kissed her more than once. After the initial kiss, neither of them had separated for more than a brief moment. It felt as if he were a magnet, drawing her in each time. She had even tried a little tongue on the last go, the way Witch Weekly said, carefully tracing his lip. That had only intensified his grip, keeping her securely in place.

As it turned out, Lily discovered that she liked kissing.

The sensation of their lips meeting was a delightful surprise, and she might have gladly continued the exchange if not for an unexpected interruption. James had pulled back, and had been touching her cheek adoringly. Then, in the midst of that peak romantic moment, Sirius Black stumbled upon them, catching them standing mere inches apart, their faces flushed with feeling.

Caught off guard, James hastily conjured a feeble excuse, claiming he was searching for a nonexistent quill mark on her cheek. The awkwardness hung in the air as he and Sirius hastily retreated, leaving Lily to stand in solitude for what had felt like an eternity, her mind swirling with a mixture of confusion and amusement. 

In that thirty minutes, she somehow became totally enamored with him. She loved the way he kissed her back so slowly, so methodically, she could practically hear his brain overthinking every move. She loved his hazel eyes, which were darker in the stacks, and held her with such an intense golden warmth. She replayed the meeting once, ten, or fifty times before heading back to her dorm for a long and hot shower. 

Having her first kiss at fifteen must have done something to alter her brain chemistry because she spent that night drawing hearts next to his name in her diary. She hadn’t done that since second year, and never in her life had she imagined doing it around James’ name. They’d been friends, always friends, and now she wanted him as more than friends. 

Sadly, the next day after their rendezvous in the library, James totally ignored her. 

Then the day after that, he acted like they hadn’t kissed behind the stacks at all. 

Lily felt a tinge of disappointment, her affection for him somehow deepening despite the letdown. She yearned for him from a distance, reluctant to jeopardize their five-year friendship over something as trivial as a couple of kisses.

Yet, the crush persisted.

With each stolen glance in his direction, her infatuation intensified—beginning with a subtle blush and escalating into a chaotic whirlwind of thoughts. She found herself captivated by him, and was wondering if Severus was beginning to discern her secret feelings for him. Suspicious looks from Sev had become more frequent, especially when James lingered nearby. 

Even now, as she stared out at the field, Severus eyed her with suspicion.

“Go, go, Gryffindor!” the voices in the stands erupted, some cheering for James. 

Lily took a deep breath as James skillfully maneuvered his broomstick, tossing the Quaffle to Charity Jones. Unaware that Hufflepuff had caught the Snitch simultaneously, Lily's focus was on James, their eyes meeting in midair. He mouthed her name, accompanied by a wave. A rosy blush crept up her cheeks as she eagerly waved back.

Severus, reacting with disgust, lightly shoved her. Lily laughed, attempting to brush off her embarrassment as she watched James descend to the ground. The game had ended, but her heart continued to race, wondering if he was experiencing the same surge of emotions. The intensity was almost unbearable, leaving her jittery with unspent energy. She knew it was stupid, but the desire to kiss him in the stacks again greatly outweighed anything else at that particular moment.

“I can’t believe you waved back,” Severus muttered moodily as they stood up to join the crowd funneling down the stairs. "Do you like him or something?"

“James?” Lily feigned disgust a little too well. “Sev, he’s got a head so big, I’m surprised he can even fly a broomstick without toppling over from being top-heavy.”

Sev chuckled, tossing his hands into the pockets of his cloak as he responded joyfully, “he and Cassie have ego in common.”

“I just can’t believe he’d date her,” Lily remained even-toned, though the topic infuriated her.

“I know,” Sev let her through the stairwell door first before following with the quip, “I thought Black and he were a thing.”

Lily laughed out loud at that, earning an appreciative look from her usually reserved friend. “You can hardly see one without the other,” she commended, “but I can’t say either one of them has been caught snogging the other—unlike Cassie.”

Sev’s hooked nose scrunched up. “Why do you even care who is snogging who?”

“Because James is my housemate, he’s my friend,” she ignored Sev’s almost perpetual eye-rolling when James was involved. “And I personally think he deserves someone who’ll keep him humble.”

“Humble and James Potter don’t belong in the same sentence as the other.” Sev snorted as they both left the field and started walking back to the castle.

“You don’t know him like I—“

“Lily!”

The butterflies in her stomach had turned to lead weights. Her feet stopped dead in the frosty grass, her face heated back up, and her shoulders straightened. Severus was quick to disappear at the sound of the voice. Lily glared after him for abandoning her, but he just ignored her and fell into step with someone else.

“Lily!” James called her name again, this time he was closer, almost right on top of her.

Lily turned, and James was suddenly right there, inches away. He hadn’t changed from his Quidditch gear, and he had no glasses on, just his goggles pushed up his forehead. Lily eyed his wind-swept hair, admiring the twists it made on top of his head. His hazel eyes sparkled—no, they glowed with happiness at the sight of her.

God, she’s in love with him.

“Hi James.”

“Did you enjoy the game?” James asked cheerfully as students funneled around them.

Lily blinked widely before answering, “yes.” 

She would have liked to have said, ‘I enjoyed you,’ but that seemed a bit forward.

“Good.” He walked closer, damn him, and slung a confident arm around her shoulders, leading her in a walk back to the castle. “I saw you in the stands near the end; you look really pretty with your hair down today.”

Lily looked up at him, twirling one long red strand of said hair around her finger. “Thanks, I guess.”

“You guess?” He scoffed, “take a compliment, Evans.”

And then, because she was stupid, she blurted out, “how was Hogsmeade with Cassie?”

She hoped he looked like he was in as much pain as she was because he actually winced when she mentioned Cassie. “Oh, you heard about that, huh?”

“It’s all over the castle,” Lily mused, “I think the student population truly believes you two might be one snog away from bringing peace and prosperity back to our hallways.”

James pinched her shoulder. Hard.

“Ow!” She pushed him away. “That hurt!”

“You deserved it for that snark, Evans.” He rubbed his own arm as if she had bruised him.

Lily eyed him grumpily, noting that he shared her expression. She fell back into step beside him as they crested the hill, the castle rising up over the landscape. It was a rare moment alone with him, despite the sea of people. Lily was hardly ever without Sev, and James had his own ‘glued at the hip’ friends as well. 

She preferred them like this, alone, together.

“She’s pretty,” Lily commented, trying to keep her voice even again for the sake of prosperity.

“Who?”

“Cassie Gregory.” 

James’ hand reached for his messy hair, and he ruffled it as if agitated. “She is,” he agreed shortly.

“Do you like her?”

His hazel eyes skirted to her green ones. “Why do you care?”

Because I like you. She was too scared of rejection to say it out loud. “Because I’m your friend.”

James’ expression remained taut, and then he hip-checked Lily playfully. “Well, just like all my other friends, you’re going to have to wait for the details on my love life.”

“But you will tell me, right?”

“When I’m in love?” James asked with a sharp tone.

She held out her pinky finger to him, “I’ll tell you, if you tell me.”

His smile widened, he was likely thinking back to their last pinky promise. She held his gaze, not for one second regretting asking him. She liked when she flustered James, normally it was the other way around. 

James’ pinky suddenly looped with hers. “I promise, once she’s ready, I’ll tell the whole school who I’m in love with because I won’t be able to hold it in.”

Lily's stomach fluttered once more as she recognized the sincerity in his words. He had that earnest gaze, the one he reserved for moments of honesty. Blushing, she averted her eyes and focused on her feet, feeling the nervous energy radiating from his intense stare. He held onto her pinky, only letting it go once they started walking again.

“Well,” she muttered, attempting to inject humor, “save me a seat at the wedding.”

James snorted, as if finding something ironic in her comment. “You'll be right up front, I don’t even need to pinky promise that.”

"I'm sure Cassie will love that." Lily said smoothly, pretending to check her nail beds to avoid looking directly at James. 

"As if I'd marry Cassie," he scoffed, and her heart flew joyfully at the words. "She's a sore loser."

"You said it, not me." Lily almost hugged him, she was overjoyed by the news.  

James grinned down at Lily perceptively, "I knew you didn't like her."

"I for one, am disgusted you didn't get my approval before snogging her." Lily mocked, her mood lifted by the turn of the conversation.

James laughed once, tugging on her red hair playfully with his free hand, "I didn't kiss her, it was just a rumor."

He didn't kiss Cassie. 

Lily allowed her grin to widen as they entered the Great Hall together. James was immediately bombarded by his friends, who had been searching for him, providing Lily the perfect opportunity to slip away before potentially embarrassing herself. She seamlessly blended into the group of girls near the doorway, stealing one more glance at James. She felt a surge of happiness when she saw him returning her look with a wink.

She waved.

He waved back.

Later that evening, during dinner, James took a seat beside Lily, and she ate everything on her plate. 

#jily fanfiction #Jily one shot #lily evans #james potter #jily #jily fic #renee rapp #tummy hurts #pinky promise

[nodirectionhome-ao3]

Slow Quicksand, Poisoned Blood

After learning of the prophecy that threatens to doom her son, Lily begs the cosmos to spare him from this fate.

913 Words. Written for the @torturedpoetsflashfest Based on the song: The Prophecy.

She speaks to the moon. She speaks to the clouds. She speaks to the rocks, the trees, the dirt that stains her dress where her body meets the ground. “Please.”

Read here on AO3.

#jily one shot #Lily centric #inspired by ttpd #jple

[chierafied]

The Mighty, Fallen

For September's @jilychallenge2023 | Theme: Back to School

Prompt: One of them signs up for Quidditch /Potions Club (or some other subject), only because the other one runs it (but they're not interested in them like that... of course not) - shenanigans ensue. 

Location: Filch’s office 

Read on AO3

Cheek pressed to the palm of her hand, Lily sat across the train compartment and stared at James Potter. He was talking with Remus, that stupid, crooked grin of his frequently flashing. The Head Boy pin gleamed at the front of his robes, defying both the odds and her sanity. Absentmindedly, Lily toyed with her own pin as her stare turned into a glower.  

This whole Head Student thing was as unexpected development as it was unwelcome. Well, not her part of it – frankly, Lily would've been disappointed if she hadn’t got the position. But even in her wildest imagination she hadn’t seen Potter snagging the pin that mirrored hers. And while in hindsight she could see why and how Potter fit in the role, even believed he would do well... This was the last thing she needed.  

They already were in the same year, the same House and shared most of their classes. While Lily still couldn’t quite call Potter her friend, they also shared most of their friend group. For two former not-quite-enemies and current not-quite-friends, they shared an awful lot together and spent way too much time in each other’s company. And now there was this new tether binding them together.   

Bloody inconvenient, Lily thought, scoffing as for a few fleeting seconds her and Potter’s eyes met from across the train compartment. Inconvenient to have to share her Head Student duties with him this year. Inconvenient to have her heart give a stupid little skip when during their brief eye connection, Potter’s stupid crooked grin flickered at her.   

Yes, Lily Evans was in trouble. And already dreading what her final year at Hogwarts would hold.  

*  

Marlene McKinnon's eyes were huge and imploring as they stared unwaveringly at her. "Please?"  

Lily stamped down the urge to roll her eyes and chose to pointedly ponder at the textbook open in her lap. "No."  

"I know that you're super busy because it's the final year and our classes and teachers have gone mental and you have your Head Girl stuff, too... But honestly, I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't desperate," Marlene babbled, wringing her hands.  

Lily knew that engaging with Marlene's madness was a mistake, but curiosity got the better of her.  "Why are you desperate? I'm sure if you asked around, you'd have a line of eager third years begging you to give them a chance."  

"Probably," Marlene agreed, grimacing. "And half of them would volunteer just to get close to Potter or Black."  

"Only half?" Lily quipped, unable to contain her eye roll this time.  

"The thing is, no one could do it as well as you could. You're freakishly organised and pretty much the only person in Hogwarts who could keep Potter in check."  

"A-ha. And the true motive is clear at last."  

"He's brilliant but a menace." Marlene pouted.  

"I've been saying that for years," Lily muttered at her textbook.  

"And your wisdom is true and proven," Marlene replied.  

"Cute, but your flattery won’t work on me, Marls. I spend way too much time with Potter as is."  

Entirely too much, yet it never seemed like enough. This idiotic yearning was burning away Lily's slipping sanity. Even when there was no Potter in sight, he was always looming too close to comfort in her mind. Her thoughts strayed to him too easily, pouncing at every chance like errant rabid kittens.   

It was annoying. Impossible. Ridiculous. Inevitable.  

Lily glowered at her textbook, feeling the doom circle ever closer to her teetering heart.  

“You can deal with Potter, he’ll bend over backwards for you,” Marlene insisted. “Please, Lily! I’m begging you. I’ll get down on my knees right now if you need me to, but please. Do this for me.”  

Lily’s poor heart toppled over. “Fine.” She sighed. “I’ll do it.”  

But she wouldn’t do it for Marlene, not completely, anyway. She’d do it, because she just couldn’t stay away.  

*  

Lily was pretty sure this whole thing had been a colossal mistake. It had to be the best mistake of her life, but still a mistake. She was in over her head, soaking up James Potter’s presence like a thirsty sponge. The more she saw of him the more dire and desperate the situation grew. And she was seeing a lot of him, more than perhaps ever before, which before now she hadn’t even thought possible.   

She saw glimpses of that brilliant brain of his when he presented his strategies during the pre-practice sessions. She saw him build up the team, bringing out the best of everyone and it amazed her. She saw him out on the Quidditch field during their practice and couldn’t help but admire his phenomenal flying and athleticism and leadership skills in action. It was criminal that so much talent had been crammed into one bloke. No wonder that her poor, struggling heart had hoisted the white flag, even after years of animosity.   

But Lily’s favourite moments were the ones after the practice. When James always appeared tired but cheerful, his stupid grin lighting up the room. And whenever he changed out of his Quidditch robes and just stood there, unabashedly shirtless and towelling his sweat-kissed mess of hair Lily had a hard time averting her eyes and keeping down the heat threatening to climb to her cheeks.  

And that was why, right now, she was stealing greedy glances of him while holding a towel and a water bottle out for Marlene.  

“Thanks, Lily, you’re the best,” Marlene said, grabbing both.  

“Thanks for noticing. How’s your shoulder?” she asked, feeling only a tiny prick of disappointment as she turned her full attention to Marlene.  

Marlene kneaded her shoulder with a grimace. “It’s still a little sore.”  

“Want me to give it another pass?” Lily held up her wand.  

“Nah. Thanks, but it’s not as bad as that. I’m just gonna take it easy for a bit.”  

“Good.” Lily glanced around. “Anyone else still need water or anything else?”  

“Over here, manager Evans!”  

Lily’s eyebrows shot up and she turned towards Black. The good thing was, he was standing right next to James so Lily could openly stare.  

“Yeah?” she asked as she made her way over to them, hoping she didn’t sound as eager as she felt.  

“It’s nothing, really,” James said, rubbing the back of his head.  

Lily valiantly did not track the movement of his biceps. Not even a little bit.  

“I think he sprained his wrist in that last tackle,” Black deadpanned.  

“It was a spectacular one. Let’s have a look.”  

James shrugged and held out his right hand. Lily fought to keep her face blank as she encircled his wrist, her fingertips resting against his warm skin, feeling the thrum of his steady pulse. She examined the wrist, alternatively studying it and his face and saw the tightening around his mouth and the furrow on his brow.  

James might have insisted that it was nothing, but he was in pain.  

“It probably is a sprain,” Lily agreed, still cradling James’ wrist in her hand. “Nothing too bad, but I’ll take care of it.”  

Sirius Black clapped her on the shoulder. “Good. I’m gonna go hit the shower. I’ll leave him in your excellent care, team manager.”  

“Yeah yeah, off with you, Black.”  

Sirius grinned and left. In the quiet after him, Lily realised that the changing rooms were empty. It was just her and James.  

Lily cleared her throat and pulled out her wand.   

“This might sting a bit,” she warned James, avoiding his eyes. She flicked her wand and started to hum the familiar healing incantation under her breath. She’d got a lot of practice in it since Marlene had persuaded to become the Gryffindor Quidditch team’s manager. With smooth, decisive moves she wove her wand above his wrist in a figure eight pattern until the incantation came to an end.  

Reluctantly, she let go of James’ wrist and slid her wand into the pocket of her robes.  

“Better?”  

James turned his wrist a few times, then grinned. “It feels as good as new. Thanks, Lily.”  

She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “You’re welcome.”  

She snuck a glance and found him still smiling at her. His hazel eyes were warm, their corners crinkled so adorably it hurt.   

Lily licked her lips and instantly something between them shifted. Sparked. His gaze was steady on hers, the warmth of his eyes darkening into something she hadn’t seen before. It stole her breath and made the pit of her stomach jitter.   

It wasn’t until his knuckle brushed against her temple that Lily realised she was leaning towards him, her lips parted.  

Shit. Shit. Shit.  

Lily jerked back as if she’d been scalded.   

“Good practice, take care.”   

With that awkward goodbye, Lily hurried away. She ignored him calling after her, her heart in her throat and humiliation burning on the back of her neck.  

It was over. He'd found her out.  

*  

Lily checked her watch again, wondering what was taking Remus so long. Or Filch, for that matter. She just needed the keys so she could go do the evening rounds and Filch’s office was giving her the creeps. Lily scowled at the chains hanging on the wall. The faster she was out of there, the better.  

The scrape of the door had her turning and her brief relief soon swerved into horror.  

It had been a Herculean task, but she’d been able to steer clear of James Potter since the incident after the Quidditch practice. Four days of hiding out in the dormitory as much as she could. But now there he was, leaning against the doorjamb as if he belonged there, in the doorway of Filch’s office.  

“What are you doing here?” Lily asked, her head reeling and stomach roiling.  

“Covering for Remus,” James said, crossing his arms over his chest. “He can’t make it tonight, so you’re stuck with me.”  

Lily bit her lip, hugging herself. Her emotions were all tangled up now. Anticipation itched her fingertips while her shoulders slumped in relief even as dread bubbled in her throat, drowning all her words. She stared at him, helpless and terrified of the feelings she was no longer able to mask.  

His eyes were steady on hers, unusually serious. His voice was quiet, which made it all the more compelling. “You’ve been avoiding me.”  

The words wrenched out a sigh of defeat from Lily and she dropped her gaze. “Yes,” she managed to squeeze past the tightening of her throat.  

“Why?”  

“You know why,” Lily ground out.  

The silence was her answer, ringing loud in the distance between them.  

Then, after a while, James spoke again. “Because of what happened after the Quidditch practice?”  

“Yes.”  

Another beat of silence stretched before there was a soft sigh.  

“I’m sorry.”  

Lily flinched, her head snapping up. Incredulous, she studied his face. “What are you sorry for?”  

He was frowning at the floor, his arms crossed over his chest. “I thought there was a moment, but clearly, it’s just made you uncomfortable around me and I don’t want that. Please forgive me.”  

Pain edged with guilt twisted in her chest and Lily closed her eyes. She had to do it after all. Force out the truth she hadn’t been fully ready to admit out loud yet, even to herself. And she had to do it now, because she didn’t want him to feel hurt over misinterpreting her actions. Which just went to show how far she had fallen.  

“You did not — you aren’t making me uncomfortable, James. You have nothing to apologise for.”  

James’ eyebrows rose. “Are you sure?”  

“Yes. I’m uncomfortable because of you, but it’s all on me.” Her heart was crawling up her trachea, pushing out the emotions she’d been holding inside for so long now. “I sodding fancy you, all right?”  

“W-what?”  

He stared at her, lost for words and cheeks tinging with pink. Lily could feel her cheeks heat from a blush of her own and groaned, covering her face with her hands.  

“You heard me.”  

Lily startled when warm, calloused fingers wrapped around her wrists and gently pulled her hands aside. James was still blushing, but his expression was solemn, his gaze earnest and steady on hers, his thumb resting on her racing pulse.  

“I love you, Lily Evans. I have for a while now.”  

Tears prickled in Lily’s eyes and her hands trembled in his steadfast grip. His admission left her undone, the last of her resistance crumbled. She chose acceptance and let the love flood in.  

James' hands slid down her arms and sides, settling on her waist. Lily clutched at the front of his robes, dizzied by the strength of her own emotions.   

“I’m going to kiss you now.”  

“Okay.”  

And he did, making good of his promise, his firm lips settling on hers, stealing her breath and her heart. The kiss spun into the next and then the next, long and brief, teasing and sincere, slow and hungry, but each of them sweeter than the last. Lily couldn’t get enough of him, and James was holding her so close it almost hurt.  

*  

It was the perfect first kiss, Lily decided later, smiling at the canopy of her four-poster bed. Even Filch, returning to his office and catching them in the act to his apparent disgust hadn't soured the memory or diminished the warm glow suffusing her. Lily lay in the darkness of her dorm, reliving every precious second of it, alight with happiness.  

#jily #jily one shot #jily fanfic #jily fanfiction #jilychallenge #partner: ritaskeetered #chie writes #fic: jl

[charmsandtealeaves]

@jilychallenge | Partner: @theresthesnitch | January 2023: Firsts, Promises and New Beginnings

Prompt: First dance at their wedding + “I made a promise and I intend to keep it” / “I just meant to tell you that I’m having trouble breathing, with you, looking like that”

Read it on AO3

One and One is Two

James had not been able to stop beaming at his new wife since the second he saw her coming down the aisle. In short, Lily Evans was breathtaking, there was simply no other word for it. There was never a doubt in his mind that she would be, as she had always been beautiful, but there was just something about seeing her coming toward him wrapped in white lace that had made his heart skip several beats. He had giddily run through his vows so quickly he’d probably tripped over most of them, not that she had seemed to mind in the slightest. Lily was alight with happiness when he slid her wedding band onto her finger. Officially taking her from Evans to Potter. Their friends and family had cheered in delight and thrown flower petals above their heads as they’d marched triumphantly back down the aisle hand in hand. Well, for the most part anyway. There was the glaring aspect of the empty seats in the front row. Where Lily’s family should have been. In contrast with the already small number gathered to celebrate their union, their absence was stark. 

But today James would not dwell on that fact. It could not form a stain on today of all days in his memory, and he’d be damned if he let it dampen hers. This would be the happiest day of his life he knew, it could not be tainted with disappointment, grief or any other negative emotion. On another future day, James would easily find it in him to be angry at Petunia for doing this to his beloved on her special day. Especially knowing how much it would have meant to her. He’d been nothing but civil at Petunia’s wedding to Vernon despite their previous misgivings. Would it have been so hard for her to just show up for her own flesh and blood? To show her the same kindness? If for the ceremony if nothing else? But if James had learnt anything since meeting Sirius Black, it was that you had the option to choose your own family. Those who Lily needed to be here were, her chosen family, and that was all that counted. 

“Please allow me to introduce to the dance floor, for the very first time; Mr and Mrs Potter!” Sirius’ voice had come booming over a roar of applause. He’d been a fantastic bestman and MC for the evening. Using all the power and grace his presence allowed, for controlling the small crowd seated at their respective tables. 

James led his new bride by the hand to the centre of the dance floor, before wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her in close to him. He attempted to murmur sweet nothings to her. But his breath tickled her ear and Lily giggled like a schoolgirl.

“What was that?” she asked, pulling away slightly so she could hear him better as they swayed together to the music. 

“I just meant to tell you that I’m having trouble breathing, with you, looking like that.”

“Always with the charm, Potter.” Lily teased playfully. “You’re quite dashing yourself in dress robes. Though I think they’ll look much better later… off.”

“Don’t you know it, Mrs Potter.” He leaned in and gave her a few long and lazy kisses.  

They whirled their way around the dancefloor, perfectly in sync with one another, despite the little practice they’d been able to squeeze in between missions for the Order. Lily flush against him, pressed chest to chest, cheeks rosy thanks to champagne and the warm evening air. If he could freeze time and go back to a blissful moment in his life James knew it would be this one he’d choose. A room full of people, and yet it was like no one else was there. Just the two of them in step. Merlin, he hoped Peter caught a good photograph of this so he could look back on it as he grew old and withered. Show it to his own children and maybe even grandchildren. Their younger selves constantly dancing, twirling and laughing on a page. 

The music slowly began to fade, signalling it would soon be time for the next dance. Which customarily would have been a father-daughter dance. It was the first time James saw the corner of Lily’s mouth twitch from smile to frown. It was barely a second but it was noticeable nonetheless. He’d promised her their nuptials would run smoothly despite what raged around them, and that he’d have her swept off her feet. There was no way James was going to let that slip now if he could help it. Over her shoulder, James signalled wordlessly to Remus, who rose from his seat and hurried along to the table where the older Potters were seated. 

As the last melody died, Fleamont Potter took to the floor. His elegant mauve dress robes flowing out behind him. He approached the happy couple and bowed politely to Lily as James handed her off to him. 

“I made a promise and I intend to keep it Mrs Potter. I know it’s not customary, but I do hope dad will suffice.”

Tears welled in Lily’s eyes that threatened to fall in heavy droplets. James dabbed at them with his pocket handkerchief to save ruining her makeup. 

“Dad will more than suffice. I love you both.” 

#jilychallenge #theresthesnitch #January jilychallenge 2023 #jily one shot #james potter #lily evans #jily #Charms Library #Fic: One and One is Two

[tinyluminaryzombie]

@jilymicrofics | May Prompt #29 Rebel | 378 words

Lily grew up fighting. There was a fire in her blood that nothing, not even love stoaked. 

Fighting became a pastime at school. At eleven, Lily challenged bigoted classmates and teachers, walking through halls with clenched fists and comebacks at the tip of her tongue. At fifteen, Lily fought for her best friend, until his words grew too sharp and cruel. At seventeen, Lily battled against formed confidants, nameless enemies, and friends’ parents. 

But at 22, Lily can’t feel the fire anymore. After years of isolation, the sparks just slipped through her fingers, falling like water. 

Four years ago, the Order needed a British rebel on American soil. Lily didn’t volunteer; she was a fighter, not a spy. But the Order was incredibly desperate. So much so that Dumbledore cornered her after a meeting, begging her to take the job. When no one else came forward, Lily agreed. 

Dumbledore had said it was a straightforward assignment: find death eaters in America, gather intel, come home. It would be boring and too quiet but she’d be back in three months. 

Four years later, Lily wishes she never agreed. She wishes James never held her the night before she left, brushing his thumb over the creases in her forehead. And she really wishes James never promised to wait for her, whispering as he kissed her.

Those quiet assurances kept her warm the first year. James had this way of saying something so sincerely she’d believe it every time. It wasn’t until the second year that the memories of that night made her cold. She was losing her sense of self and there was no one around who knew her. 

Now, the thought of James is akin to pouring a jug of vapid hopelessness down her throat. Late at night, Lily wonders if James regrets the promises he made without a second thought four years ago. She speculates if he’s still fighting for her or when he stopped. And when she’s being really self-destructive, she’ll imagine him proposing to another girl. She’ll see him picking out an emerald diamond ring with Sirius and practicing his speech with Remus.

Worst of all, she imagines him remembering those promises and shrugging them off like he just remembered he never returned a library book. 

#I kinda want to make this an actual fic #maurauders era #jily microfics #jily cannon divergence #jily one shot #sad jily #jily #lily evans loves james potter #we'll see where this goes... #my fic #my jily fic

[lovely-jily]

want you to want me sober

this is part of that snippets fic i started months ago, and i figured i'd just post it here too. enjoy some fluff :))) <333

read on ao3 (if you liked this then you'll love the rest of the stuff i have in this fic)

The party had a decent turnout, although only sixth and seventh years are allowed- primarily due to the immense amount of alcohol being supplied. James thought Sirius was going a little overboard, but he insisted. He deems the excessive amount of alcohol necessary to properly celebrate James and his team's win of their first Quidditch match. 

James is only a bit tipsy. He wants to set a responsible example, a downfall that came with being Head Boy. Although getting sloshed sounded divine, he knows that he is held to different standards. Besides, watching a bunch of drunk people was almost as fun. 

Lily's one of those aforementioned drunk people. James is a bit shocked to see her take her first shot, but he doesn't entirely mind, as he knows she needs to let loose as she never really has. 

But after about seven shots and three trips to throw up in the bathroom, James figures it's time for Lily to stop letting loose and start wrapping the night up, and since he's been with her nearly the entire night, he figures he can do it. He isn't sure where any of her friends are and doesn't want to bother them when he could do it himself. 

The stairs challenge Lily, who's laughing the entire way. One bonus to being Head Boy is that it allows James to enter the girls' dormitories. He's never tried to, as he never had a reason, but figures the magic allowed him to for occasions like this. 

"You played so well during the game tonight, James," Lily says as they neared her dorm, "I don't think I've ever seen anyone look that good."

James isn't sure if she means to compliment his looks or quidditch talent, but he knows not to press. If she were sober, he'd be delighted to have a cheeky conversation about his dashing looks, but it seems unfair to take advantage of Lily in this situation. He knows she's prone to saying things she wouldn't sober, and he doesn't want to manipulate it out of her. 

"Well, if it weren't for your cheering, I don't think we could've gotten that win," is all he responds with.

Lily stops a stair ahead of him and turns around to face him, "Why didn't you kiss me at Hogsmead? Or that one time during the rainstorm?"

The sudden direct comment surprises James, as he can only raise his eyebrows and mutter a choking "Come again?" as an answer. 

"You know, I just thought you would both times, and then you didn't," Lily is less giddy now, although there isn't any form of hurt in her voice, which is a positive sign to James. Maybe this is the confirmation needed to tell James she's been feeling the same way.

"Er-I-" he starts, and then he sighs as she puts her hand on his neck, and he wraps his fingers around her wrist. He can be honest with her, as she most likely won't remember it tomorrow, "I honestly got scared."

"Do you want to kiss me now?" Lily asks him, looking at his lips. This whole situation is cruel- her taunting him when he can't do anything about it. The exact thing he has been praying for the past few years is finally happing, but his honour won't allow him to act on it. It would be so easy to let this happen, to follow her into her room and just cave in. He wonders if that's what her friends are thinking will happen. If this situation had occurred even two years ago, it would be a different outcome, but James isn't the same boy he was then. 

Besides, it's easy to want someone when you're under other influences. Standards are lowered, feelings rise, and James wants Lily sober for this sort of decision. 

"I always want to kiss you, Lily," James whispers back. The alcohol and hope of her forgetting all of this make honesty easier to produce.

Lily's eyes brighten, and her lips pull into a smile as she leans down slightly. She almost seems sober, but her swaying, slurred speech, and alcohol-scented breath say otherwise, "So why don't you?"

James exhales, brushing her hair behind her ear, "I want you to want me sober."

"I do, James-"

"I don't want our first kiss to be like this. You mean more to me than tipsy actions," James continues, and he is actively kicking himself for what he's doing, "You know I wouldn't feel good with you in this sort of condition."

Lily sighs, "You're too good to me, James."

"Not nearly what you deserve, Lily."

James hears someone walking up the stairs and see's it's Dorcus as she rounds the corner.

"There you are, Lils!" Dorcus smiles at the two of them.

Lily's eyes brighten at the sight of her friend as she excitedly claps her hands, "D, I have so much to tell you about what just happened. You're going to scream."

Dorcus reaches the two of them and raises an eyebrow at James. Of course, Lily made it seem like James really is trying to take advantage of her.

"Not what you're thinking, don't worry," James shifts to the side, letting go of Lily so Dorcus can take her.

Dorcus nods and turns to Lily, "Let's go to bed, yeah?"

"Oh, please, I hope I have another dream-"

"Off to bed!" Dorcus cuts her off in a panicked tone, leaving lots to be speculated on James's end. 

"Thank you, Potter," Dorcus smiles at him as the two girls keep walking up the stairs to reach their dorm.

"Bye, James!" Lily waves excitedly, "You better follow up on what you said to me!"

James only shakes his head as butterflies flood his chest and a broad smile fills his face. 

That was precisely the confirmation, or rather the sign that he needed.

#jily fluff #i love writing these two #james x lily #jily #jily one shot #jily drabble

[priniya]

👀 SIRIUS SHOULDN’T KNOW

synopsis. how is james supposed to leave reader alone, when she always kisses him so good?

notes. james potter x black!reader.

even though many thought that the relationship between the black family wasn’t even tolerable, sirius black loved his siblings (and cousins) to the point he grew protective of them. he believed that his slytherin brother was sly enough to protect himself, but his youngest sister didn’t seem like it. so… at first he protected her from their parents, now it was time to protect her from the boys, who’d like to have her undies on their room floor.

at the beginning you thought it was cute, even your twin agreed, but it had quickly changed, when sirius wanted to be the one who’d take you to the homecoming ball, scaring everyone off. so talking to james there was easy, it was probably one of your first talks ever. you sat next to him throughout the whole night and talked, getting suspicious looks from remus, who knew how could that end up.

james was going through a break-up with a girl he thought was the love of his life. it was definitely teary for him, and his best friends were aware, so if sirius caught his sister looking at potter with those daydreaming eyes, he would shoot some deer. oh, and if you were heartbroken, because he used you as a rebound, his head would hang in their dorm before the sun come.

he didn’t think much that night, seeing you alone in that emerald gown, visibly sad due to sirius’ nonsense, and he had to talk to you. he’s heard lots about you, from padfoot, moony and regulus, but never got quite a chance to start a conversation with you. in between the words, you left the great hall to go to the bathroom and ten minutes later his white, silky shirt laid on the floor of your dorm, while he unzipped your dress.

there were multiple rumors going around the school about james, and which type of a partner he was, was he a good kisser, had he got good manners, if he respected boundaries. now, you could truthfully admit that james potter was a hella good kisser. so good that if he wasn’t hovering over you, you’d barely stand. you were shaking under his touch or when his cold breath itched the skin of your neck.

it was supposed to be a one time thing, at least you thought so, because you hardly talked the following week, but then he asked you out to go on a date with him. his request was unexpected, but who were you to disobey? and now, a few months after, you were secretly seeing james potter, remus and regulus being the only ones that knew, keeping sirius away from discovering the truth.

“dove, just lay down with me alright? nothing will happen.” your boyfriend mumbled into the soft fabric of his pillow, one of his arms trying to reach you to somehow get you back to him. “he’s not coming here so early, c’mere and gimme a kiss.”

“jamie,” you pouted. “i don’t want this to end, and it probably will if he finds out.” he sighed upon hearing your words, and hugged your bare back. “we really gotta come up with a solution.”

his fingertips traced lines on your arms as you spoke, your words getting quieter with each stroke. “i’m gon’ play pretend with lily, alright? just like we’ve talked.” you didn’t want this, not more than sirius finding out about you two, nevertheless seeing your boyfriend spend more time with his ex would definitely hurt. “then, we’ll find a real solution.” he finished leaving a few kisses on your shoulder, sending a shiver down your spine.

“are you sure you can do it?” you asked, tilting your head to the side. “the question is, are you sure you can handle it?” now, it was your time to wonder.

you liked lily, you really did, especially since she’s been hanging around your friend’s dorm so much, it felt as if she became your housemate. she was always so nice to you it hurt, thinking how good of a match she used to be with james.

“dove, don’t overthink it. i love you, remember? now, chop chop, i need to meet up with ginger.” he smiled, pulling away, before reaching for your shirt and giving it back.

“leaving me for your ex? rude.” you rolled your eyes jokiny, while putting on your shirt. “see you after classes.” you added, before leaving.

you’d say you expected everything as you walked down the hallway to enter the great hall, regulus and barty brickering over something as insignificant as what you’d eaten the day before, or that sirius was being obnoxiously loud. however, you were definitely not ready for what you were about to see.

evans was snuggling in james’ side as he feed her, big grins on their faces, shooting a glance at pandora, you noticed you weren’t the only one upset with the whole thing. clutching your bag to your chest, you sat at the slytherin table between your brother and one of his friends. “i don’t like this.” you murmured prior to regulus’ arm drape over your shoulders. “barty, mind moving a little to the left, so i don’t kill myself in a minute?”

“i don’t get it.” crouch began, looking at you all confused. “why won’t you just… i don’t know. confeont sirius about all this? it’s not like you’re twelve or something. you’re gonna be sixteen in a short time, why acting like you’re not?” he shrugged, stuffing his mouth with anything his hand could reach.

“you know sirius.” you mumbled, hiding your face in your palms. “you should either tell him, or break up with potter. there’s no point in hiding if you never come out of your shell.” evan shrugged, immediately getting a look from regulus. “did he even ask you out properly?”

“no, but– we’re exclusive.” you frowned upon his words. “evan, just shut up.” dorcas uttered, knowing where this conversation would lead, the five of them (including aliya, who were currently occupying the hospital wing) has already discussed the idea of your relationship with james. the conversation reoccurred whenever you seemed a little too upset after talking to him, and even though they would never say anything that included your relationship in front of you, they cared if you were happy.

“i lost any appetite that was left in me.” you sighed, locking eyes with remus, who quickly hit james in his leg under the table to make him look at you. it felt like when he did, he looked like he had realized something.

nevertheless, when you left so suddenly, he kept the act, not rushing after you. it wasn’t the first timr, when you were visibly hurt by something and james couldn’t do anything in public, because sirius was always somewhere in sight. good thing you had a friend to run after you. well, barty didn’t exactly run, but he caught up to you swiftly, and left the hall with his arm on your shoulders and a quick stare for james.

“you gotta man up, tell sirius and stop this whole potter-evans madness.” he sighed, his arm falling off you as soon as the door closed behind you. “i mean, what will your brother do – kill you? you’re a young woman, he gotta know that!” he nudged you with his elbow as you walked to the class.

to be honest, you absolutely loved potions, what you disliked about them was that on fridays you had them with the gryffindors, and slughorn made it his mission to make you socialise more, so… you were stuck at one desk with marlene mckinnon for the whole two hours.

you’d lie if you said you didn’t know or like marlene. mckinnon was one of the girls you liked the most from your brother’s friend group, most likely because she also hung out with dorcas and dora a lot, so you knew her vibe matched yours. nonetheless, after the scene with your boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend, you weren’t exactly in the mood of talking to anyone who wasn’t a part of your own house.

“so… you and rosier?” her eyebrows wiggled suggestively as she spoke, grabbing your attention faster than ever. “what? what’s with the face. everyone saw how protective he was of you today at breakfast.” she grinned and stopped babbling for a moment, at the same time the professor sent you a glare.

“nah.” you shrugged, scribbling in your notebook. “why? he’s my friend.” a reply left your lips as you relaxed your chin on your palm, shutting your eyes for a second.

“i mean… lily and james were also best friends and now they’re back together…?” you knew she didn’t know that it wasn’t the truth, but somehow you grew quiet. “you and evan would look just as cute as they do, or even more. who knows?”

till the end of the period, you hadn’t spoken more than a one-word sentence, mckinnon’s words still ringing in your mind, getting louder and louder each second. you wondered if you and james looked cute together, if anyone would be like «woah, if they broke up i don’t believe in love” type of person.

“i think even sirius said he’d root for you.” that was all you needed to let go of the fear, not only because you were annoyed that someone thought you and evan were a thing (when he was clearly interested in his other friend), but because sirius used to brag about any boy you talked about making either you or the boy himself lose interest.

you decided to hold your horses until necessary, and… you were really surprised, when the jealousy burst out at james’ birthday party a few weeks later. you weren’t directly invited, “not to raise any more suspicions”, but since your boyfriend clearly stated he needed you to be there, you appeared, elbow intertwined with your twin’s.

at first, you wanted to keep everything simple. a plain, fitted black dress that you wore to the banquet your parents forced you to go to, when you were younger. although, back then your silhouette looked completely different, your curves developed and now the dress that once made you look like a wardrobe’s door, now it brought out everything that was needed.

within few drinks, and half an hour of watching your boyfriend fooling around with his ex, you had enough. it was his birthday and you couldn’t even properly celebrate it with him in front of all these people. with another two shots for courage, you walked up to them and by pulling his tie the closest you could, you crushed your lips onto his.

you didn’t even give sirius a chance to protest. without saying a word, you pulled back, grabbing his hand and almost run to the stairs to his dormitory. “sorry mate, what your girlfriend says, you must obey.” he shrugged and followed you, leaving your poor brother in shambles.

“finally! i thought she’d kill herself or you two, no offence though.” regulus sat beside lily, and smiled warmly, catching a glimpse of pandora who’d seen your outburts as a sign to finally give up hiding.

“wait, you knew?” the oldest black turned his head to his younger brother and frowned.

“we all did, padfoot.” remus laughed, taking a seat at the armrest of sirius’ chair. “some of us–“ his eyes landed on marlene. “– were pushing their buttons to end this madness.”

“what? i almost got the jealousy admission from james.” mckinnon shrugged, sipping on her drink.

#james potter x reader #james potter smut #marauders smut #marauders x reader #sirius black x reader #james potter #james potter fanfic #james potter fic #james potter one shot #james potter fluff #jily fanfiction #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #sirius black x sister!reader #regulus black #regulus black x sister!reader

[mrkeatingsblazer]

Marauders x reader fanfictions be like:

James: I’ve fancied lily forever and you are my mate so let’s fake date to make her jealous obviously we won’t catch feelings for each other

Sirius: I’m a slut but I’ll be your slut bc I’ve some how fallen for you

Remus: I’m a monster and I’ve kept it from you even though you are my closest friend bc I love you but I can’t be with you I’ll hurt you IM A MONSTER

Peter: 

#marauders #ATYD #James potter #sirius black #Remus lupin #peter pettigrew #wolfstar #jegulus #jily #x reader #fanfiction #one shots #Harry potter #marauders era #the marauders #Remus lupin x reader #James potter x reader #Sirius black x reader #Peter pettigrew x reader

[bobluvbot]

birthday blues

pairing: sirius black x f!reader  summary: first time godfather sirius goes shopping to find the perfect first birthday gift (jily + baby harry ♥️) wc: 5k a/n: me tryna heal canon trauma ❤️ because in my world everyone lives happily ever after !!! my lil celebration piece for hitting 200 followers! thank u all <3 not proofread, english is not my first language so plz be nice heheh

“What’s the store called again, sweets?”

even as a young kid, one of your biggest pet peeves is repeating yourself for more than four times. three is pushing it. your parents told you its a bad habit to take to adulthood because you’re bound to meet people who just don’t get what you’re saying the first or second time around. But one Wednesday morning, when you asked from upstairs where your favorite periwinkle socks were and your parents downstairs said something that the loud dishwasher and vacuum covered up, you asked them to repeat it again (still can’t hear), and again when you moved closer to the staircase down (barely heard any), then you heard your father’s heavy footsteps up, personally shoving in your waiting hand the said pair of socks.. only damp. “Honey, I said three times already, that they were still in the dryer,” your dad had huffed before heading back downstairs. That’s when you knew it was genetic. 

But, you love Sirius Black. It’s gotten to the point where in the honest, sensitive hours past midnight, while there was nothing much to do as you let sleep creep up from your tired limbs to your fluttering eyelids, but to watch peace settle on the raven-haired boy’s sharp features, ethereal and glowing like an angel even in the dark of the night; that you realize he may be the love of your life. It’s a scary thought, with fears of being too eager, too soon, too much—- so you tuck it in a little pocket and give it a nudge when you need a reminder of how big and true its growing with each second spent together. 

You love him, so you breathe out the snarky irritation away in slow heavy puffs and inhale peace, choosing to exercise patience because you know Sirius is nervous. 

“It’s Spintwitches Sporting Needs, love. ‘s right across Ollivanders if I’m not mistaken,” you say, taking his free hand in yours and rubbing small circles on his knuckles to calm some of his nerves down, while he drives through busy muggle London streets to park by the Leaky Cauldron. He throws you a soft smile and gives your hand a quick squeeze as thanks, grateful to the heavens that you’re here to keep him from going insane.

You know him enough that, while the day in question is not about him, or you, or your relationship, it meant a great deal to Sirius. 

He had one chance (even if you’d argue otherwise) to make things right, do things the right way the first time around with Harry. James knew this fact by heart, which is why he and Lily agreed in a heartbeat that Sirius should be little Harry’s godfather, as it was meant to be. He would do anything, go beyond means, hell, even against Merlin himself just to ensure the safety and happiness of his godson. 

No one, however, was expecting it to backfire and it caught you and Sirius off guard. Once the tears dried and elation diffused, the anxiety kicked in for Sirius, and in turn you. He knew what the opposite was, parents who robbed their own sons of happy childhoods and disowned him when he got brave enough to find happiness and protect it, he had lived it. And now that he has a chance to save an innocent soul from a similar fate, he was determined, but this fact scared him shitless.

He wanted everything to be perfect (who wouldn’t?) and gave everything he physically could to make James and Lily’s Harry’s life easy and happy. Seeing Sirius buy ‘How to Dad?’ books and pour over them at night or on his free time at work was undoubtedly an attractive and loving sight. In a span of a week, he knew which is the best formula to supplement with breastfeeding, toys to pick that stimulate early brain development, even clothes made with hypoallergenic materials that won’t irritate the sensitive newborn skin. It came to a point where James would ask him for advice when Lily’s at work, and Sirius would put on his trusty reading glasses and point at a specific passage of ‘How to Dad?’ that answers James’ question perfectly. 

Eventually, you did have to put your foot down when you found Sirius writing a howler to a baby food company when rumors started going around that their baby snack puffs (which Harry was obsessed with) had harmful chemicals in it. In typical Sirius fashion, he wasn’t convinced that easily. You’d bet that what pushed him off the howler letter route (and in turn protect the statute of wizarding secrecy) was seeing you spend lots of time in the kitchen to perfect making banana and strawberry baby snack puffs from scratch until the recall was over and the food was deemed safe to be consumed again by experts and Sirius himself. 

Hearing many iterations of how the newborn days and months go by so fast was difficult to believe at times, especially when you and Sirius were babysitting to let the exhausted parents get some sort of reprieve multiple times a month. It was almost always the same. Harry would sleep for four hours straight during the night, and almost hourly right after; and while you and sirius had gotten pretty good at dividing up the tasks like bottle feeding and nappy changes equally, the shrill cry of a hungry baby is difficult to ignore and sleep through. 

So despite of Sirius’s best efforts to crawl out of bed and tip-toe to the bassinet quietly not to wake your sleeping form, he gets sad but unsurprised to see you pad towards him and the baby, yawning soundlessly as you squeeze yourself between the soft armrest and Sirius’s side, head resting on his shoulder. It was his idea to get a spacious, soft recliner in the bedroom and it came in handy for situations like these, where getting back to bed once Harry sleeps is too risky as the boy would just wake up with the slightest movement, so the next best option was to try getting rest wherever you ended up in. The cries that once overpowered Sirius’s hushed whispers and cooing finally quiets down. A sigh of relief leaves both your lips, basking in the comfortable silence and bodies finding solace in each other’s warmth. 

You want to say so many things to your lovely boyfriend, things he just has to hear: that he’s doing such a great job, that you see him and all the extra steps he has to take to become and do better than what he was raised for, that you love him for every single bit of it— but the right words don’t come easy when sleep-deprived and exhausted at 4:25am in the morning. So you lift your lips up to meet his temple, the side of his mouth, then his lips; hoping it’d convey what words couldn’t at the moment. 

But time is an experienced thief. It was a Saturday afternoon in the middle of May and it was warm enough for you to whip out the frilly spring dresses that had been pushed to the back of your closet by the thick woolen coats from colder months. The boys had gone on a day trip to help Peter move into his first solo apartment, assembling furniture and stocking up on necessities to ensure he could survive on his own. Without the booming voices and bumbling energy of his father and godfather, little Harry had no choice but to match the calm and peaceful ambiance that you and Lily curated inside the Potter house. While it’s certainly different from what his everyday looks like (living with the likes of James), he seems to enjoy it. Gentle breeze from the windows Lily left open while she baked carry the smell of lemons and vanilla throughout the entire house, making it smell heavenly. You’d been sat on the floor by the dining table, surrounded by toy trains and colorful blocks, watching the ten-month-old munch on a toy graphorn adoringly. Recently, he’s been on a phase where he has to run anything he could get his hands on with his mouth. Some secret test or screening must be up there or something because that’s how Harry decides which toys are deserving of his attention for the day.

You’d picked up a toy set of magical creatures after work yesterday, and it won the almost toddler’s attention for the whole day. James had to snatch the toy niffler away from Harry’s grasp so he could say goodbye to his son and ask for a kiss. Safe to say there were no kisses exchanged because the little boy was too busy wailing and screaming at his father’s face. Lily had to create physical distance between her two boys so the younger one can calm down while the older got mopey. Sirius had to whisk his best friend away from the scene of the crime so that they can get on with the day, but not without leaving you a kiss. 

The said niffler had soon been replaced with the hippogriff, then now the graphorn, and it’s been sitting on your lap since. Harry suddenly pulls the toy graphorn out of his mouth with a resounding pop. You both share a second or two of shocked eye contact and silence, his bright green eyes wide with surprise, before triggering a belly flipping laughing fit. This child could shock himself with a sudden burp or an unexpected sound of hitting random things with a fork, and you’d laugh every single time like its the funniest cutest thing you’ve seen in your life. It’s likewise for the rest of the marauders. Being the first baby of the group had all the adults wrapped in his pudgy fingers and he has no idea. 

Harry’s eyes drop from your smiling face to the Niffler on your lap, and makes grabby hands. You almost, almost give in, but you decide to encourage him to go get it himself. Maybe today’s the day he starts to walk. You move to him a bit closer, probably a good seven baby steps in between. 

“You want the Niffler, bud? You have to go get it from me!” You make a show out of grabbing the toy from your lap multiple times, hoping it’d make sense to the little boy. 

He whines something sounding like your name and does more impatient grabby hands. But you weren’t giving up without a fight. “C’mon, Haz! You can do it,” you say enthusiastically. 

Harry did know how to stand and good thing you were both sat near the dining table chairs, so to alleviate some of your aunt guilt you tuck the niffler away and out of Harry’s reach, before helping him up to his feet and urging him to grab one of the chair legs for support. 

He stays upright, eyes still on the toy that you place again on your lap as you return to your original spot, and you clap with glee. “Great job, buddy! Okay, only a few steps to me and you’ll get the toy!”

Lily, curious to see the commotion happening on her kitchen floor, leans against the counter for a better view. Harry sees this and does the same thing, he looks at her pleadingly while making grabby hands and pointing to the niffler on your lap. You can tell the redhead’s fighting the mom urge to make her child’s life easier, but thank the heavens when she gives your same answer. She even moves to kneel beside you, waving to get her son’s attention and pointing at the niffler on your lap.

“C’mon, my sweet boy,” Lily says. “Mama knows you can do it!”

Motivated by frustration as his aunt and own mother won’t just hand him his goddamn toy, Harry whines angrily but makes a sideways step closer, death grip still on one of the chair legs. You and Lily squeal and clap in delight, urging the boy to do it again.

He makes a move for another step, but realizes that there’s no more legs to grab onto. Reluctantly, his right hand lets go and in turn faces you and Lily. This results in another round of applause, which serves like a drug to these little babies. 

An anxious expression fleetingly appears on his face as he looks to you both, but the encouragement and cooing seemed to scare those big feelings away. Determined, Harry makes an unsure step forward without support, which then makes both yours and Lily’s heartbeat jump. It all happened so quick, the fear of losing balance triggered Harry’s other leg catch him on impulse, then the same on the other leg, then the other. Harry’d made four successful steps on his own before his mom catches him in her embrace before he topples over to the floor.

You and Lily were a sobbing, exultant mess. Harry, clearly confused about the commotion, whines for the niffler while Lily kisses him all over his face. You hand it to his waiting palms like a trophy before ruffling his unruly hair.  An attempt for words has been made, but all that came from your mouth are garbled phrases about the miracle that just happened. Lily nods in agreement and you hug them both back. 

This ten-month old just walked. This is the same baby that kept you and Sirius up at night for his feedings. The same baby responsible for the drool and spit up marks on your shirts. The same baby that  laughs and babbles with you like he understands when you tell him random stories. The same baby that squeals in delight when you blow raspberries on his belly. 

It felt like he had just been born a few days ago, memories of changing hundreds of nappies and preparing bottles of milk still vivid in your mind. But it’s earth shattering to consider that he’s closer to being a one year old than to the little bundle handed to you by James in the hospital room. 

Time is unrelenting, stealing mundane moments behind your back and when you realize the loss, poof! The newborn you held in your arms is now a walking toddler. Soon, he’ll be the one talking your ears off, going to Hogwarts, driving a car.. You shiver at the thought. He was growing up so fast that blinking felt like cheating, afraid that you’ll miss a precious moment that you’ll never get back. 

His first birthday came in the same manner— too fast for both yours and Sirius’s liking, but the wistful feelings came with excitement as Harry being a toddler opened up lots more opportunities to play and discover the world around him. James and Lily had spent the whole month planning a big birthday bash to celebrate the kiddo’s life, inviting all their loved ones to share the special day with them. And with that, the pressure was on for Sirius, as the self-proclaimed best godfather to get the perfect first birthday gift.

It’s like the heavens knew it was a special day for you both that it made sure to put out the best shopping weather one could ever ask for—- not too warm or too cold. It was a Tuesday afternoon, which meant the adults were kept in workplaces and children sent to Hogwarts or in homeschooling, leaving Diagon Alley nearly deserted, minus the occasional stray shoppers entering and leaving shops here and there. Clad in color coordinated couples outfits (that was your thing recently, Sirius more than happy to oblige) and hand in hand, you begin the mission to locate Spintwitches Sporting Needs. 

Nostalgia always finds a way to seep into your bones whenever you find yourself in Diagon Alley. One blink and suddenly you’re ten again, both hands tucked in each parent’s as your mom pours over the list of school supplies you’ll need again for your first year at Hogwarts. You and Sirius see Ollivanders at a short distance and hear the entrance bell chime, the very same sound you heard when entering the shop for the first time, the shopkeeper taking one good look at you before immediately rummaging around the store, grabbing a specific box located on a random shelf four stories up. The look of confidence when he says it’s made just for you, a magical glow enveloping your tiny frame while opening the magenta box. That same magic guided you to a world where you truly belonged in, a castle that felt so much like home, and friends that soon became found family and lifelong partners. The thought of Harry soon experiencing these moments leaves a giddy feeling in your chest. 

The smoky sweet scent of freshly roasted chestnuts catches your attention and you discreetly look for the source of your favorite warm snack. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Sirius (hardly nothing ever does, even the things you wish he’d miss or forget), and he gives your hand a small tug. You try to be aloof as you return his waiting gaze, complete with a quirk of your eyebrow, to which he responds with an impish smirk towards your bad acting.

“You’re not fooling anyone with that look, sweets.” The amusement in his voice is palpable as he steers you away from the main walkway and towards the small chestnut stall tucked in an alleyway, almost hidden by the bigger shops surrounding it.

“But, the store’s right there, Siri,” you try to protest. He had been anxious and stressed out about this day in particular, you knew if you were in his shoes, you’d be beelining to the store as soon as you get off the car. But he just shakes his head like its the obvious choice and nods towards the cart. “Can’t have my girl hungry now.” 

After a failed attempt of trying to pay for the warm brown bag (you were no match for Sirius’s lithe, agile fingers in basically everything), you accept it with a sigh, giving yourself a few seconds to sulk before starting on the chestnuts. You weren’t the best at accepting things from other people just because, it always felt like you had to do something in return for them just to deserve it. Maybe that’s why the universe conspired to have you meet and fall for Sirius, who is a very enthusiastic giver, teaching you hard lessons on the daily.

As you begin the journey back to the shop, you carefully crack open one and hold it up to Sirius’s mouth, to which he happily obliged. “Mm, somehow chestnuts taste better when you handfeed me, dove. Do it again.”

You roll your eyes in response, but you find your fingers starting to peel another. “You’re lucky you’re good looking, Black,” you mutter to save some face, that you weren’t head over heels for this man and he to you. That’s a conversation to be had in another, less stressful day. 

The shop, painted electric blue and orange, wasn’t hard to miss. One step in and the welcoming aroma of broom polish, rubber, and smoky wood brings you right back to the Quidditch locker rooms; memories of frantically lacing up your boots a minute or two after James called you as backup for an injured beater, helping Marlene comb out the tail end to fix the broom alignment after practice, and getting pinned to the cool lockers during post-win celebratory makeout sessions with Sirius, replaying vividly in your head. 

It looked deceivingly small on the outside; aside from the expansive selection of different broomstick models, they had books and magazines about Quidditch strategies and featured famous matches, repair and maintenance kits for maintaining broomstick qualities, complete Quidditch gear for all shapes and sizes, and tiny practice snitches flying around the room. Squint and it’ll just be like how each Hogwarts common room would be decorated when there’s a big Quidditch match between houses or international ones in the world cup: streamers and accessories like horns and banners representing each team, posters of Chudley Cannons and Holyhead Harpies (in opposing corners to prevent unsolicited fights) accompanied by autographs of famous players and collectibles littering almost every surface of the walls. It was Quidditch dreamland. 

Still in awe admiring the displays as you both walk through aisles hand in hand, Sirius breaks the silence first. “What do you think Harry will play as in Quidditch?”

You hum in response and he continues, running his hands through the bat display they had for little kids.  “I bet he’d be a beater like me. You remember how that punk hit me straight on the face last week?” 

You nod in amusement. Sirius had played it cool as he gently laid Harry back in his playpen, still laughing and cooing, then as soon as little Harry turned his back on his uncle, Sirius ran to you for first aid and whined the whole time you were healing the already forming bruise. But not a few hours later, he’s bouncing the baby in his arms again as he gave him a tour of the backyard. 

“Yeah, those little fists definitely pack a punch.”

“How about you, love?”

Sifting through a year’s worth of memories, it was surprisingly easy to find your answer. “I think he’ll follow James’s footsteps and be a seeker.” 

Sirius’s pout becomes evident, making you giggle and tug on his arm in efforts to cheer him up. “Think about it. Ever since prongslet got those glasses, it’s harder to hide anything from him now because his eyes are so quick. Poor Crookshanks too, that cat can’t catch a break now when Haz wants to play because he tracks its movements.” 

Sirius lets out a soft chuckle and slings his arm around your shoulders to hold you closer. “Good point, good point,” he repeats, seemingly deep in thought as his fingers run up and down the small of your arm. “We shall see, whatever he decides to play as, or if he even plays at all, I’ll be proud of him.”

You look up to him as he absentmindedly stares at the Quidditch gear sets for little kids, a light, wistful smile on his handsome features. He might not say it out loud, but the love he has for his godson reverberates through his being, and its a warming sight to see. 

Before you confess your love for your boyfriend in the middle of a Quidditch store, you whisk him away and towards the toy broom display, the only thing you were both here for. Only the big bright signs directed you to the right place, which didn’t prepare you at all for the heart exploding sight.

You’re about to burst into tears seeing how cute and tiny the little toy brooms were, and how they came in complete with tiny versions of the headlights, seats, and bag compartments the usual adult broom comes with. Both you and Sirius stood with mouths agape for a solid minute as you took in the expansive display, before your lovely boyfriend proceeds to pick out the most expensive one with the most features on it from the batch.

Surprisingly, it was you who reminded him to grab a helmet before running off to purchase the toy broom, the giddiness and excitement spreading between the two of you. The cashier gives both of you a knowing look as you and Sirius both mellowed down from full giggles to bashful smiles, examines the broom to be purchased, and asks, “For your little one?”

Now, you were no stranger to conversations like these with former lovers in the past, and you could almost hear the typical response of denial that comes swiftly with the question. It used to hurt, even if you knew by heart that that person didn’t have the fifth date potential or that it just wouldn’t last. It’s that unexplainable feeling of shame and rejection when they’d realize that it won’t work with you before you would, or if they answer with a laugh, as if having a future with you is an appalling thought. You’ve gotten better with it throughout the years, but for some reason your skin crawls with the thought of Sirius saying the same things. Years of desensitization down the drain, you find yourself bearing your entire soul to the man beside you the entire relationship, and he can easily break you into two with his response. You cross your fingers that he won’t.

He was already looking when your gaze met his, a look of softness and tenderness from him so profound you wondered if you were deserving of it. The surge of butterflies in your belly was all consuming. 

Sirius shifts uneasily and shakes his head, you prepare for the worst. “For our nephew, not for our own child..,” he pauses, glancing back at you for a quick second. “Yet. But if all goes according to my sneaky plan, we might be back sooner than she thinks.”

The cashier chuckles at your stunned reaction as you shift your focus between him and your boyfriend who was both furiously blushing and actively avoiding your stare. Did you just get a marriage proposal? 

Taking advantage of your confusion, Sirius pays for everything including the gift wrapping, which you had previously argued about who was responsible paying (you won, not that that matters now). You let him tug your arm and guide you out of the store, saying a quick thank you to the amused cashier. The influx of butterflies were back, tickling your insides and spreading warmth in each crevice. Just seeing Sirius handle the rambunctious mini James with care and glee, makes it so easy for you to imagine a life with him, and eventually have a little bean that’s equal parts of you and him. You hope they’d get the best parts of both.

No one brings it up as you began your journey back to the car and you’re grateful. Gift bag swinging on your arm, you drag Sirius to go get ice cream to which he happily obliges. 

A gentle quiet settles on accomplished shoulders like a warm blanket as you settle in the car. Strawberry and vanilla fudge ice cream sticky sweet on each other’s lips as you exchange cones every once in a while. It would be enough to lull you to sleep, if not for Sirius’s deep breaths and sighs, the thundering of his heart that he tries to quell by discreetly scratching a small part of the steering wheel where his thumb usually lay. 

He breaks the silence first, an uneasy tone making his voice seem small. “Do you think he’ll like it, dove?”

“Yes, Siri. I know he’ll love it.” You try your best to enunciate the right words, but a conflicted expression marrs his handsome features, sending a twinge to your heart. 

It comes to you before he speaks. This was something that had been plaguing Sirius’s mind for a while, occupying his dreams and thoughts, embedding itself to his mind and causing unwarranted amounts of stress. You resist the urge to fill in the blanks for him because it has to come from him and him only. 

But after everything he’s been through, what seems easy for most sometimes is the hardest to muster. “Siri,” you pause, waiting until he looks up at you and you keep his gaze. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

His gray orbs still before the dam breaks. “I’m sorry, love.” He chokes. “If I’m being so difficult, irky, irritated, anxious, everything.”

Hot tears run down his cheeks and it’s a painful watch. wanting nothing but to wipe it off and tuck him in your embrace and promise him he won’t be hurt as long as you’re there, but you can’t. The best thing you could do for him is to let it all out and finally feel.

He stares ahead on the city road with fingers trembling on the wheel. “I’m just so scared. So scared. James and Lily have been amazing parents, I can’t say same thing for myself but I try my best. Sometimes I still feel like he deserves someone better to be his godfather,” he sobs. “I just love him so much. I want only the best for him. I just want him to be happy and healthy all the time.”

After a while, you say with a bittersweet tone. “You know we can’t promise that, Siri,” you sigh. “Storms will come and will do damage and hurt and things that we can’t undo,” you pause, sniffling as you take your right hand to guide him to face you again, vulnerable gray eyes meeting yours. “But you know what?”

You give him an assuring smile, speaking the truth. “He’s gonna be alright because little as he is right now, he is so loved and adored by so many people, so loved by his parents. And so loved by his godfather.”

It wasn’t said aloud, it doesn’t need to. Loud as it could be, Sirius knows what you’re about to say; that his ability to love despite of everything he’s been through, despite of his own family ruthlessly trying to rob him of the ability to do so. That’s the type of love that Sirius gives, a love that withstands rain and abandonment; a love that stays after a rough storm, offering a home always open to go to when times are rough and feelings are still hurt; a love that tells the truth even when its hardest to hear. 

You know all this as an easy fact because you’re at the receiving end. Even if you hadn’t heard it from his lips yet.

“Have I told you I love you?”

A watery smile spreads on your face as you shake your head. “No, but i feel it everyday.”

“I love you, Y/N.” It leaves his lips like breaths, naturally and easily. 

It’s the same thing for you, too. “I love you too, Siri.” 

And it ends with sticky kisses that taste of vanilla fudge and berries.

#siriusblack #sirius black one shot #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #sirius black blurb #sirius black fluff #sirius black drabble #sirius black fic #sirius black x black!reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x yn #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius x reader #marauders era #marauders fluff #dad!marauders #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfic #hp marauders #jily fic #sirius black

[thecasualauthor]

@jilymicrofics March Prompts Day 13: Lonely

This got away from me real quick.

Enjoy!

----

It's lonely, Lily's small town of Cokeworth. Especially around Christmas time, when the holidays are over and she has nothing to do. Especially when she has no one but Petunia to keep her company. Most days Lily ends up sitting in her window seat, reading, studying, and writing to her friends. Ever since the fiasco with Snape, she hasn't really had anyone in her hometown she cares much to see.

She doesn't expect people to come call for her, so when she opens the door to find James Potter standing on her doorstep, she yelps and almost slams the door in his face.

He looks haggard, utterly terrified, and Lily frowns, alarm bells going off in her head as he raises his wand.

"James?" Her voice is slightly shrill, and James looks like he could sob.

"What was the first thing you said to me on the first train ride to Hogwarts?" Lily tenses, brings out her own wand.

"I told you it was rude to stare," she says cautiously, and James really does let out a sob this time as he pulls Lily into a bone-crushing embrace. "I love you, you know that?" Lily feels her face heat up, and she pulls back to look at him.

"James, what's going on?"

"They told me they were coming," James breathes. "They know- they know we're friends. They-"

"Who is they?" James swallows hard.

"Death Eaters, Lil," he says, and pulls her into another embrace. "I was in the leaky cauldron, and I overheard Malfoy say to one of the Lestrange boys that they were going after a muggleborn. He said: Evans was giving them lots of trouble at school." Lily's blood runs cold, and she grips her wand. "I came as quickly as I could," James continues. "I came to get you."

"Get me?" Lily furrows her brow, stepping back from him. James nods, looking a little desperate.

"Please," he says, "come to my place. You'll be safer there." Lily softens and takes his hand in hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"James," she begins soothingly, but her friend interrupts her.

"Please."

Lily stares at him, registering the real fear and terror in his eyes, and she opens her mouth.

"I-"

But she doesn't finish, because several loud cracks break through the air around them.

#I started writing this to be a funny lil one shot #but then angst hit me upside the head #jily #james potter #lily evans #emma floods the jily tag with jily

[ginnympotter]

Very fluffy moment: an AU where Jily lives- ofc-and Hinny tells them about the new baby (can be any of the pregnancies)

LOVE SOME GOOD JILY LIVES FLUFF

"Why are you so nervous?" Ginny asked him, squeezing his hand as they waited by the front door. "You know they'll be happy for us, right?"

Harry shook his head. "That's the problem. They'll be too happy. Remember when we told them we were engaged?"

"Well, at least we're prepared for the dramatics," she assured him.

Just then, the door swung open, James smiling brightly at his son and daughter-in-law. "There's the most beautiful couple in the world," he proclaimed, bringing them both into a hug.

"Never prepared enough," Harry whispered to Ginny out of the corner of his mouth. She giggled.

"What was that?" James asked as they broke apart.

"Nothing," Harry waved off. "Hi, Dad."

They stepped inside the Godric's Hollow cottage to see the table fully set, Lily taking out one last thing from the oven.

"Mum," Harry sighed, walking over to her. "I told you I'd help with dinner tonight."

"Don't worry about it, love," she said, reaching up and kissing his cheek. "I wanted to give you a break, I know you've been working hard."

"But I like cooking with you," he told her earnestly.

"That's sweet, Harry," Ginny interjected, patting his arm. "But let your mum mother you for the night, yeah?"

"Listen to your wife, kid," James said as he put on oven mitts and picked up a tray to bring to the table. "How are you doing, Gin?"

"Great," she said, smiling. Then, "Pregnant."

The tray slipped from James's hands and shattered to the floor. All three of them were staring at her, Harry somewhat exasperated. Being the only one not in shock, she took out her wand and cleared up the mess, the tray all put together back on the table.

Harry shook out of his stupor. "I thought we were going to tell them after dinner," he murmured.

"Sorry," she responded, though he wasn't sure she meant it. She continued to smile. "You know me. Impulsive. Felt like the right moment."

They looked back at James and Lily, both still looking stunned.

"Surprise?" Harry tried.

"I know you're both pretty young to be grandparents," Ginny said. "But if it's any consolation, you're going to be like, the coolest grandparents anybody has ever had."

The word "grandparents" seemed to do it. James started to laugh and Lily burst into tears.

"Bloody hell," James exclaimed, wrapping Ginny up in a bear hug. "You're having a baby!"

"Mum, it's okay," Harry tried, rushing over to Lily.

Lily grabbed his face and smiled brightly. "You're going to be the most amazing, loving, caring, magnificent, brilliant father-"

James broke away from Ginny and looked towards his wife. "Hey, hey, hey, what am I, then?"

"The most amazing, loving, caring, magnificent, brilliant grandfather?" Harry tried.

"Oh god, what do I go by? Grandpa? Grandad? Papa?"

"Absolutely not Papa," Lily intervened, wiping her tears.

"Sorry, right, that's reserved for-"

"Stop!" Harry warned, and all three of them laughed. "Why don't we sit down and eat, yeah?"

They all listened, but as soon as they started piling food on their plates, James started again. "Need name ideas? 'Cause I've got one-"

"Let me guess," said Lily. "Is it James?"

Ginny giggled.

"What?" James asked, feigning innocence. "It's a classic name!"

"We'll see," said Harry, smiling in spite of himself.

#jily lives #jily lives au #hp #fanfic #one shot #drabble #hp fanfic #hinny #james potter #lily evans #ginny weasley #harry potter

[thebibutterflyao3]

AO3 Finished Fics as EPUBs

I know a lot of people are struggling to gain access to AO3 at the moment, so I uploaded my 14 finished fics to Google Drive as EPUBs. I have labelled each below by name, main ship(s), and rating with any relevant warning tags. All fics have thorough tags/warnings on the first page of the fic.

All In or All Out - rated Explicit (Explicit sexual content, Background SA referenced, but not on-screen) Jegulus Muggle AU

An Interesting Grasp - rated Explicit (Explicit sexual content) Dual POV - James/Remus Jily/Wolfstar Muggle AU

Fairy Tale Sweets - rated Explicit (Explicit sexual content, fist-fight) Dorlene Muggle AU

He's Your Problem Now (one-shot) - rated Mature, Wolfstar 7th year

His Secret Soulmate (short fic) - rated Mature (minimal sexual content) Wolfstar 7th year

Light Me Up (one shot) - rated Teen, Nobleflower 7th year

Long Live the Napkin King (text fic) - rated Teen, Jily/Wolfstar Muggle AU

Positive Reinforcement (one-shot) - rated Teen, Jegulus 7th year

Promise Me One Thing (one-shot) - rated Mature (minimal sexual content), Wolfstar 7th year

Simps & Feral Squirrels (text fic) - rated Mature (sexual references and general chaos), Jegulus/Pandalily/Partyvan

The Catfish & The King - rated Explicit (explicit sexual content, mild BDSM), James/Remus POV, Wolfstar/Jegulus

The Sun & Wayward Stars - rated Explicit (explicit sexual content, use of crucio curse), Jegulus 7th year

Tigerlily & Wolfsbane (435k word) - rated Mature (one minimal sexual scene at the end), Lily POV 1-7th year, Jily/Wolfstar/Dorlene

You're Still My Sunshine - rated Explicit (explicit sexual content, fist-fight, arsehole Sirius), James POV, Jegulus/Wolfstar Muggle AU

Hope this helps until AO3 is back online!

#the marauders #jegulus #starchaser #james potter #regulus black #marauders #wolfstar #incorrect marauders quotes #ao3 fanfic #remus lupin #lily evans #jily #dorlene #one shot #dorcas meadowes #marlene mckinnon #ao3 down #ao3

[chierafied]

Aurora

Written for @jilychallenge's

December Jily Calendar 2023!

Also posted on AO3.

Hyvää itsenäisyyspäivää! 💙Happy birthday, Finland!  

The portkey deposited them into cold and dark and a knee-deep bank of snow. Nausea swelled and lurched in James’ stomach, and he didn’t even notice the log cabin until Lily tugged at the sleeve of his robe. Its rectangle windows glowed yellow into the night. 

James waded out of the snowbank, onto the narrow, cleared path leading to the cabin’s door. Lily followed close behind. The wooden door creaked as he stepped into a welcoming warmth. A simply furnished large room greeted him, with a seating area near a big fireplace where a merry fire was roaring, and a wooden dining table flanked with two benches on the other side of the room. Stairs snaked up near an open doorway to the side.  

Lily pulled off her snowy boots and started to wander around the cabin, while James stayed near the door, laboriously peeling back all the layers of clothing, from his muffler to his hat. 

“It’s a small kitchen,” Lily reported from the room off to the side, then joined James in the main room. 

He bent down to pull off his shoes and grimaced at the lingering sense of vertigo. He loathed portkeys. But when they needed to travel across a big distance at a great speed and with little prior warning, there were only so many modes of transportation to choose from. 

“There’s a letter.” 

As James straightened again, he saw Lily pick up an envelope from the table. He walked over to join her and sat on the bench as she opened it and pulled out the letter. 

“Welcome, friends,” Lily read. “Hope you have a nice stay. The sky should be clear tonight and the spirits say that the lights will come. The plants you seek are not far. I made you a map. In the shed outside there’s firewood, skis, snowshoes and a shovel. The broomsticks are in the tall cupboard by the front door. Good luck!” 

“I vote for the brooms,” James said. 

Lily shook her head. “Of course you do. You’ll jump at any excuse to fly.” 

“What time is it?” 

Lily glanced at her watch and frowned. “It was a little after 8 when we left and there’s a two-hour time difference... So probably somewhere around 10.30.” 

James looked out from the window into the darkness. “Looks more like 10.30 pm than am to me.” 

“Yeah,” Lily agreed. “I knew the days would be shorter this far up north but it’s really different seeing it first-hand.” 

“Guess that means we have a few hours to kill.” 

While Lily was studying the hand-drawn map, James managed to hook his arm around her waist. She stumbled into his lap, right where he wanted her, and set her hands on his shoulders. 

“James,” she chided, laughter in her eyes. “We’re on a mission. We need to focus.” 

“Oh, I’m focusing,” he replied, staring meaningfully at her lips. 

“You’re an idiot,” Lily informed him. And leaned in to give him a long, lingering kiss. When she finally pulled back, she rested her forehead against his and flashed him a smile. 

James’ fingers dug into the small of her back. It had been a while since the last time he had seen her bestow a smile so carefree; since she’d felt so relaxed in his arms. He stared into her eyes and held her to his heart. By travelling here, to this cold, dark wilderness of the far north several countries away from home, they had stumbled into a small pocket of peace. In this solitary cabin far away from all civilisation he felt safer than he had for months, even in his own home. In this alien winter wonderland, the war seemed just as far away as the British Isles. 

James slid his hands up her sides so he could cradle her face. He brushed his thumb across her cheek and kissed her. It was slow and sweet and infinitely precious. A kiss so heartbreakingly perfect that he willed the time to stop. He wanted to freeze this moment, to imprint it in his memory. He wanted this kiss to stay in his heart so that even after they were back home, in the turmoil of life and death, deceit and battle, fighting for the right of Lily’s very existence, he could recall it and lose himself in it. The weight of her in his lap, her fingers in his hair, her heart beating against his, her taste on his lips, the slow teasing sweep of her tongue. And more than anything, the unhurried pace of this long kiss. Because here, they had all the time in the world. 

*

It was a quarter past one in the afternoon and the sun was setting. It felt like the day had gone by in a blink of an eye, even though their time at the cabin had seemed to crawl as they waited for the nightfall. It had been a nice enough day, just slow. They had sat around and talked. Stared at the fire. Mapped out their plans for how they'd go about this mission. Eaten a hearty lunch. The highlight had been seeing a reindeer meander right across their yard. 

But now the night was finally falling — even though it was quite upsetting to see the sun set so impossibly early in the afternoon — and it was time to set out and follow through with their mission. 

When James stepped out of the door, shouldering a backpack and clutching his broomstick, they hit him all at once: the darkness, the cold and the quiet. Snow-covered wilderness stretched before him until the treeline of towering spruces and pines far ahead. The silence was so loud it rang in his ears. His breath fogged in the cold air that burned in his nostrils. The darkness would have been absolute if not for the moon and the stars, their pale silver light reflected all around him by the white cover of snow. For a moment, it brought him back to his school years and the snow-encrusted Forbidden Forest up in Scotland, which he’d so often roamed under the glow of the full moon. 

Lily came out after him and pulled the cabin door shut. Her breath escaped in a hiss. “Oh hell no.”  

She pulled out her wand and cast a heating charm on her wool cloak. Her wand jabbed James’ shoulder and then heat flooded in. He let out a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Let’s get going. You can fly and I’ll navigate.” 

James mounted the broom. Lily climbed on behind him, her arms snaking around his waist. 

“Hold on tight,” he told her, before pushing off the ground. 

Up in the air, it was even colder. The charmed cloak was making a valiant effort to keep him warm, but his fingers and the tip of his nose were bearing the brunt of the freezing air. Luckily, they didn’t have far to go.  

James followed Lily’s murmured instructions. For a moment, she rested her head against his shoulder, her sigh misting in the air.  

“It’s so beautiful.” 

James had to agree. 

Soon, they landed. James pulled his muffler over his nose for a bit of extra warmth, while Lily compared her map to the sparse landmarks nearby and nodded to herself. 

She pulled out the shovel they’d brought along. She’d argued that it was safer to dig up the snow than to try to blast it away with a wand, because with a shovel they’d have more control over the force used and the herbs had a bigger chance of staying intact. James had thought it was very Muggleborn of her to default to manual labour where a spell would work just as well, but he loved how she always kept him on his toes. 

The snow crunched as they dug. A point in favour of the manual labour was that after they’d cleared a good patch of snow, James was feeling a lot warmer.  

Lily knelt, clearing the remaining inch by hand, gently brushing snow aside with her mitten-covered hands to reveal a tiny forest of bare plant stems sticking up from the frozen ground. 

“Are those the herbs that we need?” James asked. 

“Yes,” Lily answered. 

“They don’t look all that impressive to me.” 

“Trust me, they’re very potent. And right now they’re dormant.” 

James shrugged. “You’re the potion expert.” 

“That I am.” Lily winked at him.  

“Now what?” 

“Now we wait.” 

They settled down just for that. James spread a blanket he’d found in the cabin on the snow. Lily dug out a jar from her backpack and kindled a magical fire inside. They sat side by side, leaning against each other, and gazed up at the dark sky above them. At the pale moon and the spread of the stars twinkling down at them.  

James had lost all sense of time. An odd calm had settled over him. Usually, he would have been itching to do something; anything but the torturous drudgery of sitting and waiting. But here and now, with Lily beside her, in the peaceful quiet of the winter night, he could appreciate the stillness. He pressed his cool cheek against the chunky knit of Lily’s hat and closed his eyes, perfectly content. 

James couldn’t tell how long he stayed like that until Lily stirred next to him. 

“Look!” she breathed out in a reverent hush. 

James opened his eyes and there it was. Spread across the sky above them a ribbon of bright, gradient green undulated like a sheer curtain rippling in the wind.  

James instinctively reached for Lily’s hand, squeezing it, mittens and all. Something was lodged in his throat so tightly he couldn’t speak. Lily squeezed his hand back. The lights continued their parade, flowing like water, their colour reminiscent of Lily’s eyes. 

It was the second most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life. 

“Wow,” Lily sighed. 

He turned and looked at her upturned face and awed smile, at the frost glistening on her eyelashes like diamonds. The love that rushed through him stopped his breath. There she was: the only thing in the world to which even the magic of the Northern lights paled in comparison. The most beautiful thing in the world. 

A streak of red joined the vivid green in the sky and an answering glow sprung to life on the ground before them. The herbs were luminescent now, mirroring the brilliant aurora up above. The stems grew and sprouted leaves that slowly unfurled before their eyes. Tiny buds appeared, swelling until bright green bell-shaped flowers burst out, streaked by flowing reds. 

“Get the other jar,” Lily told James as she bent forward, carefully cutting the plants with precise flicks of her wand. 

James dug out an empty glass jar from his bag. It took a few fumbling tries to unscrew the lid with his mittens on, but as soon as he managed, Lily dropped in a handful of the herbs she’d scooped up. 

“There.” She looked up at him, bathed in the green glow that made her eyes more luminous than usual. “Mission accomplished.” 

James closed the jar and leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose. 

“Let’s go home.” 

“In a while,” Lily murmured in agreement, then looked back up at the sky. 

They stayed there for several long moments, hand in hand and smiles on their faces, watching the magical lights dance on the velvet dark of the northern night sky. 

#jily #jily fanfiction #jily fic #December jily calendar 2023 #jily one shot #chie writes #fic: jl

[charmsandtealeaves]

Written for @startanewdream 🤗 For the Jily Valentine's Gift Exchange hosted by @jilymicrofics! Words: 1,895 Read it on AO3

Here's a snippet:

“I feel a bit like the Owl and the Pussy Cat.” Lily commented as James rowed. “Except our boat is black not green.” He raised a quizzical eyebrow at her. “I haven’t a clue what you’re on about there Evans.” “You don’t know the poem by Edward Lear? It’s a classic for children.” Lily blushed deep crimson, a hand pressed to her mouth.  “Considering I’m guessing it’s a muggle poem and I grew up on the likes of ‘Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump’ I’m afraid you’re going to have to enlighten me. Am I the owl or the cat?”  “Depends on if you’re planning to propose or not.” Lily shrugged. James instantly stopped rowing.

#charms library #jily valentine gift exchange #fic: the owl and the pussy cat #jily #jily one shot #james potter #lily evans

[arianatwycross]

Not so secret

Something I wrote to get myself out of writers block. A little jily secret relationship fic with a grumpy Sirius!

“Why are your lips pink?”  

James’ eyes widened a fraction, his fingers brushing his lips softly. “Pink? Aren’t they supposed to be pink?”  

Sirius narrows his eyes, “Not that pink.”  

James shakes his head and ignores the comment, turning around to head towards the bathroom.  

“Where were you anyway?” Sirius calls out.  

“Quidditch practice, you know that.”  

He doesn’t hear Sirius’ reply, but he does get a glance of a familiar stain of pink on his lips in the mirror.  

Shit.  

He brushes it off his lips in a hurry before stripping off his quidditch gear and slipping into the shower. He doesn’t want to wash the smell of her off him, but he must keep the ruse up.  

Changing into his school uniform, he heads back out to find Sirius arguing with Remus and Pete. His light eyes narrowed as he gestured theatrically.  

“What’s going on?” James demands. He’s used to his mates bickering, but Remus looks a little too flustered for it to not be serious.  

“Nothing.” Sirius throws at him angrily before storming out of the dorm room. James tilts an eyebrow up and waits for Remus to explain.  

“He’s just in a mood.”  

“That wasn’t just one of his moods, Moony. What’s up?”  

“Um-” Remus looks over at Pete, the two of them share an odd look before he shrugs, “Why don’t you ask him later, when he calms down?”  

James doesn’t like this. He hates not knowing, hates being unaware, especially with his friends.  

“Is he ok? Did something happen with...?” They don’t talk about Regulus enough for James to say his name.  

“No - it’s not but um, well it’s not really my business to say.”  

James frowns, but let's Remus and Pete go before he can demand more information.  

He finds Lily waiting for him outside class, an odd occurrence, so odd he stares at her blankly for a few seconds before he realises she’s speaking to him.  

“James?”  

His name wakes him up.  

“Lil? What are you doing?” He looks around frantically.  

She rolls her eyes, “You’re terrible at this.”  

“I’ve had a weird day.” He admits.  

She inspects his face, before replying. “Could we talk...later?”  

“Talk?” He raises a pointed eyebrow, a smirk growing on his face.  

She tuts but the corner of her lip twists into a smile. “We ‘talked’ enough this morning. Enough that we might have been seen...”  

James feels his cheeks heat, “What?” he chokes.  

“Look just meet me later? Usual time?”  

“Yeah...”  

She gives him a shy smile before turning on her heels and walking away. He watches her dark red ponytail bounce behind her, before his eyes drop to her ass. He can’t help it.  

“One would think, you two were going at it.” A familiar voice speaks up from behind him.  

He turns around to find his best mate, giving him a pointed look.  

“Huh?”  

“You lied to me.” Sirius adds.  

James blanches.  

“I saw you two this morning, that’s what she was talking about. You lied to me. About her.”  

James can hear the betrayal in Sirius’ tone and his stomach flips.  

“Mate, it’s new. I was going to tell you.”  

“How new?”  

“Five days?”  

This makes Sirius laugh, so much that James can’t help but smile. 

“Was this what you were mad at this morning?” James presses.  

Sirius shakes his head, “Partly, and then Moony had to hit me with his wise words.”  

“Wise words?”  

“I’ll tell you after you tell me how this happened and why the fuck you lied to me?!”  

James runs a hand through his hair as he grimaces, he nods to an empty corridor, aware of the all too nosey eyes and ears coming from the nearby classrooms.  

The two head off, side by side, James wondering himself how he ended up in the current situation.  

“She kissed me, after the party on Saturday...”  

“And?” Sirius presses, James can hear the excitement in his tone and smiles at the ground.  

“Fuck Pads, you should have seen me. It was like I’d never kissed a girl before. I just stood there. She kissed me, and I stood there.”  

Sirius laughs.  

“She looked so heartbroken when she pulled away, all I could do was grab her back and kiss her properly. We – uh, we didn’t stop for hours.”  

“You just kissed?” Sirius waggles his eyebrows, making James blush uncontrollably.  

“She would kill me for telling you, but no. But that’s all you’re getting!”  

A tense quiet fall over the two of them before Sirius asks, “But why did you lie?”  

“It was my idea, to keep it quiet. So don’t blame her!” 

“Why?” Sirius says so softly that it makes James stop.  

“You saw what happened to Marissa right? Because she started seeing Benji?” 

James shudders as he remembers finding Marissa circled by a group of Syltherins just weeks ago. The poor fourth year white as a sheet as she faced a group of boys just because she was a muggle born dating a pure blood.  

“Oh.”  

“I can’t let them do that to Lily. She’s already on their radar.”  

Sirius nods, “Ok. I get it. But you didn’t have to lie to us.”  

“I know.” James nods solemnly. “I kind of wanted Lily to myself for a little bit. It was fun sneaking around.”  

“You can still bloody sneak around with her. With us knowing, at least we can reserve the dorm room for you two.” Sirius winks but the gesture still seems slightly solemn.  

“I know mate, sorry. I guess I just got too caught up in trying to keep her safe.”  

“And in her pants...”  

This makes James snort and push his mate into a nearby suit of Armour.  

“Did you two....” Sirius waggles his eyebrows as James helps him up from the floor with a grin.  

“No... but we might as well have.”  

“Mate!” Sirius punches him in the shoulder, “You weren’t even going to bloody tell me you lost your virginity!”  

“I fucking haven’t. Yet! But fuck, be quiet.” James' eyes bounce around the corridor.  

Sirius laughs, “You wouldn’t last two seconds with her...your dream girl!” Sirius teases, pressing a hand to his chest theatrically.  

“Shut up.” James scoffs. “But uh, she wants to talk tonight, I think about you finding out...so maybe you could keep the boys out of the room for an hour or two?” 

Sirius smirks, “You really need an hour? I’m betting ten minutes.”  

James shoves Sirius into another suit of Armour and this time leaves him to pick himself up off the ground.  

#jily fanfic #jily #microfic #one shot #secret relationship #my fics #something fun #writing exercise

[resident-gay-bitch]

Remus loves books, he loves reading so much and Sirius knows this. He knows this so well because half the time when he wants Remus to look at him, and pay attention to him, Remus simply just won’t because he’s so bloody, infuriatingly, adorably invested in whatever book it is he’s reading.

It doesn’t even matter the genre, Sirius has learnt, nor that it’s fictional or otherwise. Just words on yellowing pages, with cracked spines and a warm smell emanating from within, that’s what Remus loves. He likes to escape there, to lose focus, time, and reality. And Sirius respects it.

He used to love reading himself, when he was younger. His favorite books were fantasy action. He got lost in the tales and strange lands, imagining himself as the noble hero, saving lives and running off into the sunset on a noble steed, or perhaps even with a lover.

He’s lost the knack for it these days, mostly. Sometimes he still picks up a book to read, if it really captivates him. Or if it’s so painstakingly good that Remus, rather than just expressing that it was enjoyable to read and outlining the basic plot, rambles about it for ages. Especially if he goes back and reads it a second time over, taking a quill to the pages, underlining his favorite phrases, adding exclamation marks for emphasis, and writing out every thought he has about it.

Sirius always reads those, but mostly for Remus’ input. And mostly so he can sit there and listen to Remus talk about it again, and get so brilliantly excited when Sirius agrees that particular characters sucked, or when they disagree about how certain plot points were brilliant, or how painstakingly heartbreaking the use of symbolism added so much depth to the entire book.

Sirius has two large bookshelves in his room. Both of them he’s built himself because he refuses to let Effie and Flea spend any extra money on him, and he himself doesn’t want to spend money on bookshelves when he can just make them. He also made Remus one, when he first learnt just how much Remus likes to read, when he first moved in with James. He’s still very proud of it to this day.

Point is, he has two large bookshelves, and they’re each only half full of books. There are other things on them, taking up the space. Such as his record collection, which is excessive now, and brilliant, and takes up a lot of space. It’s also riddled with gadgets, and thingamabobs, and dust collectors, and whatsits, as well as little things he’s tinkered.

He’s building himself another shelf at the moment, this one will have a stained glass door- so, more of a cabinet, he supposes. It’s made especially for his records, measured to fit the height and width of them perfectly with just a little wiggle room. That, once it’s done, will clear out plenty of space on his bookshelf for more books.

He’ll build himself another shelf or two, he thinks. Ones to mount one the wall, a place to keep all his little things that don’t really have a place, other than randomly on his bookshelves. He wants to leave as much room as possible.

Because, see, Sirius doesn’t read much. And the books he does read are already found on his shelf, or Remus’, because he borrows them.

But Remus reads a lot. He’s always looking for new books, everywhere he goes. Sirius can’t count the times he’s been pulled into random stores just to look at books for hours, only for Remus to walk out empty handed.

Because Remus doesn’t have the money for books. He never has. Maybe a few, here and there, cheep ones that is, from second hand stores. And on his birthday and Christmas his parents spoil him by picking out a couple of big ones.

But Remus’ money is saved for things other than books.

That hasn’t been much of an issue, because there are libraries. He spends a lot of time in the library at Hogwarts, when they’re there. And over the breaks, he spends it in the library by his house. And he borrows books from Sirius, and James, and Lily, and Peter, and Mary, and Marlene too.

But the thing is, Remus is running out of books. And sure, he’s happy to read the non fictional books, ones about the history of magic, or life in the trenches of the First Muggle World War, or how to bake cakes, or the biography of Salazar Slytherin, or whatever the hell else he can find. But nothing captivates him the way a good story can.

He needs tales to escape in between the more boring stuff. Remus never raves about the non-fiction. Sure, he tells Sirius random facts when he finds them out, or puts his new knowledge to use. But the novelty of a made up world excites him.

Sirius likes to watch Remus read fiction. He likes to watch Remus shift in his chair and tense his shoulders, he likes to watch blush bloom over Remus’ cheeks with a giddy smile as his eyes twinkle and lock onto the page. He also likes when he hears Remus’ sharp gasps, and gets to look up to find him sitting in the most awkward, on edge positions as he fixedly reads, and watches as tears begin to roll down Remus’ cheeks and dance over freckles.

He mostly likes when Remus smiles at his page, sure and familiar, a knowing look in his eye that makes him glimmer right before he looks up to try and find Sirius in the room, and blush immediately when he does before tucking his face back into the pages. Sirius likes that one the best, because he knows, whatever Remus read, it made him think of Sirius. He especially likes when Remus scribbles something on the page right after, or just dog ears the corner so he’ll never loose the page.

Sirius really likes when Remus finds a good story, and Remus clearly also likes when he finds a good Story. Remus doesn’t have the funds to by himself stories and has read his way through the entirety of his local libraries fictional section, as well as everything on Sirius’ own shelf twice.

But Sirius does have the funds for books. He has part of the inheritance his uncle Alphard left when he died, he has his weekly allowance from the Potters, as does James, and he has money saved up from working in Mrs Florence’ garden across the road all summer.

So he goes out, and buys books, and hopes Remus hasn’t read them.

He gets home, and puts them on his own shelf, because the last time Sirius bought a book for Remus just simply because he wanted to, Remus slapped him with the book, made his knee buckle with his cane, and told Sirius to never spend his money on him again.

So naturally, Sirius stole him a book, and Remus hit him twelve times with the new book, called him a stupid fucking idiot, and made him promise to never do it again.

He then promptly went and read the book, and made a note at the very back that Sirius was the one who got it for him, with a star placed by his name, thinking Sirius wouldn’t notice. Because Sirius would never snoop through Remus’ bookshelf when he’s not looking to try and read whatever annotations from Remus’ brain he could, hoping to find one that Remus made after doing his adorable glance and thinking of Sirius. No, no he’d never do that, Remus, he promises.

So Sirius buys himself books, ones that wouldn’t look too out of place sitting on his shelves, ones he doesn’t recognise Remus ever holding (though, that doesn’t mean much as Remus reads at the pace of a race car, Sirius is sure there’s a new book in his hand each time Sirius looks up), and prays Remus will like them. He thinks he will. He likes most books.

Sirius just hopes he makes annotations in them before he remembers they’re not his books, and puts them back on Sirius’ shelf to find.

So Sirius stacks them on his shelf, and waits for Remus to take the bait.

The first time Remus comes into his room once they’re there, he clearly notices, but doesn’t comment. So Sirius goes out to buy another.

The second time, he makes a comment, asking if Sirius ever actually reads the books he carelessly spends money on, and nothing else.

So Sirius buys another book, and begins to read the one with the most interesting cover. He makes sure the spine is cracked, the pages withered, and a crease on the cover from bending it wrong.

Remus notices it, the next time he visits, and asks if Sirius enjoyed it. He didn’t mind it, but he tells Remus he really liked the character named Liam (who reminds him vividly of Remus), and recommends it. Remus takes it home. Sirius rambles to James about how brilliantly smart his plan is for hours.

The next time Remus comes around, he returns the book. It’s in a similar state to when Sirius had last seen it, besides a few extra wrinkles on the spine, and creased pages. Sirius smiles and admires it for a while once Remus has left, with another book, another one Sirius made himself read, he didn’t like that one at all.

Naturally, Remus really enjoyed that one. They argue about it for a while, and Remus tosses the book at Sirius with a laugh, and Sirius resists the urge to throw himself back at Remus.

James and Peter go out in the sun, but Remus’ hip is bad that day, so Sirius stays inside with him. He sits and watches Remus read, it’s one of his own books, one he’s read at least four times before. He’s got a pen between his teeth that he keeps pulling out to scribble things down before placing it back.

Sirius wishes he were a pen.

Remus finishes his book and whines about it for a while, because he doesn’t have another, and he can’t stand to go outside. So Sirius gets up, grabs a book, and plops it in Remus’ lap. Remus blushes. It’s some muggle book, it’s about magic folk, and fairies, and a really cool protagonist with long black hair and tattoos and a winning grin.

He’s not even shy when he tells Remus he bought it so he could read about himself. Remus lightly thwacks him with his cane and tells Sirius to fuck off.

Sirius sits on the bed, and grabs Remus’ discarded book, and opens it up to page one. Already there, marked in blurry ink on the first page reads: this is what it feels like to have a star wish on you, right back. Sirius smiles, and begins to read, mostly for Remus’ annotations, but the book is good no less. It’s about doomed love, written through the metaphore of the night sky, and unsettling undertones of cannibalalistic desire, all wrapped up in one neat little bow that ties itself off with an accidental murder suicide.

Honestly, Sirius understands why Remus likes it now. He’s heard Remus talk about it in great detail before but bloody hell, it’s good. And Remus’ annotations make it better.

“Bloody-fuck.” Remus gasps, catching Sirius off guard. He sticks his head up and wonders how on earth Remus had gotten to the “bloody-fuck” part of the story yet, that’s over halfway through, and they’ve only been reading for twenty minuets.

“What’s the issue?” Sirius asks.

“Do you have an eraser?” Remus asks, “A magic one, for ink? Can’t use my wand.”

“Erm, no…” Sirius mutters. He knows Flea has one in his office, and he’s allowed to go get it if he ever needs, knowing it sits in the top left drawer, right by the paperclips. But he doesn’t say that, not yet.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Remus mumbles, “I forgot it wasn’t- I just… I still had the pen in my mouth.”

Sirius feels his heart race, “Remus, did you… write in my book?”

Remus looks so ashamed, and he holds up the neat pages and flips through all that he’s read, and… yeah, there’s a lot in there already. Scribbled lines, phrases, exclamation points, question marks, little stars drawn everywhere.

Sirius feels himself fall a little harder in love, “You can write in my book.” He mutters and swallows, “You can write in all of my books, whatever you like. It doesn’t matter, I probably won’t read most of them anyway.” Sirius lies. If they have Remus’ annotations he certainly will.

“Why would you buy them then?”

Sirius shrugged, “I had empty space on my bookshelf… I like having them there. Besides, I could read them, you know, I just… usually don’t.”

Remus snickers and shakes his head, “You’re strange- like a dragon. You’re a dragon that hoards treasure. Your treasure is books.”

Wrong, Sirius thinks, my treasure is you.

“A dragon.” Sirius mutters, “Do you fear me, Remus, a big mighty dragon?”

Remus scoffs and turns back to the book, “You’re such a small dragon you don’t even have the ability to fly.”

Sirius throws his pillow at Remus’ head. Remus laughs, flipping Sirius off, which only spurs him on.

Sirius promptly jumps off the bed and changes to Padfoot midway through the air, landing right on the arm of the chair Remus occupies before crawling all over him.

“Get off me, you stupid mutt!” Remus laughs, tacking Padfoot away, “You’re going to rip the book.”

Padfoot only barks and wags his tail high in the air.

Remus laughs again, sticking his good leg out where Sirius now sits on the ground, he uses it to pet Sirius’ side as he fixes his hair and book.

Padfoot tilts his head up at Remus, tongue hanging out of his mouth, as he watches.

“I can really write in it?”

Padfoot scoots closer, licking Remus’ knee.

Remus snickers and shoes him away, “You’re so gross, Padfoot. Your dog slobber stinks, you know that?”

Padfoot barks, resting his paw on top of Remus’ hand for a moment.

“Fine.” Remus breaths, “But you can write in mine too, that means.”

Sirius will be, he knows it.

Padfoot, however, watches Remus go back to reading, too invested to pay him any mind now. He plucks the pen from his ear and starts making more marks. Padfoot rests his head on Remus’ knee, and mindlessly, Remus reaches out to pet him.

That’s how James and Peter find them, two hours later. Remus deeply concentrated, halfway through his book, and Padfoot looking up at him like he hung the sky. James teases Sirius mercilessly about it later.

Over the week, Sirius reads. He reads Remus’ book, the one he left behind so Sirius could finish reading. And Sirius takes a red inked pen, because one time Remus said Sirius looks good in the colour red, and makes his own annotations. There aren’t many, as there isn’t much room left and Remus has basically said it all, but he underlines the things he likes, and draws wonky little circles half shaded in by the things that make him think of Remus (they’re supposed to be moons, and he hopes Remus won’t be able to tell at first, because the first wonky circle is placed right next to the phrase: nothing consumes her they way the need to taste his skin on her tongue does-).

The next time Sirius sees Remus, they’re at the Lupins. He brought Remus’ book with his own red annotations, and two other books, one about space, and one about a dog that dies.

He’s almost at the end of the one where the dog dies, and it’s honeslty devastating. It’s bound to make Remus sad. So very, very sad.

They sit on Remus’ bed, Remus up by the headboard, and Sirius himself laying over the foot on his stomach, a pillow tucked under his chin.

He’s crying, down to the last pages of his book, his heart being ripped out of his chest as he reads. When he started crying, Remus silently extended his legs and crossed them, letting his heels sit on the small of Sirius’ back. Because Remus is brilliant, and he knows Sirius likes to be touched when he’s sad.

He closes his book with a sigh, buries his face in the pillow, and screams. Remus laughs.

“You have to read this, Moony. It’s devastating.” Sirius sobs.

“If you insist.” Remus agrees, still reading his book.

“The dog dies!” Sirius rolls onto his side to look at him, “He dies, Remus, isn’t that horrible. I mean- it was bad enough for me, I can’t imagine what it would be like for you.”

Remus glances up over his book at raises an eyebrow at Sirius.

“You know…” Sirius sniffles, rubbing his nose before waving his hand through the air, “Because I’m a dog, and you won’t be able to stop thinking about me, and losing me, and-“

A pillow was thrown at his head so hard it shoved him back. But Sirius loves the dramatics, so he takes it further, and rolls until he topples off the end of the bed and groans about betrayal. Remus pretends not to listen, Remus continues to read. Sirius wants to give him the world.

Sirius eventually gets up and selects a book off of Remus’ shelf, admiring his own handiwork for a moment. He flicks the book open, and finds no annotations, so he puts it back. He grabs another, finds the same, and repeats.

“What are you looking for?” Remus asks.

Unashamedly, Sirius tells him, “One with your thoughts written out. Those are my favourites.” He picks up another, sifts through, and puts it back.

He turns when Remus is quiet for a while, he’s grinning, like he expects to find Remus with his head in his book, so distracted he didn’t hear. But he’s not.

Remus is blushing, and he’s looking at Sirius so curiously.

“I like your thoughts.” Sirius clears his throat, “You’re smart, they’re interesting. Besides, I hate not knowing what’s going to happen, you always manage to make correct predictions, so good at picking up clues.”

Remus smiles and ducks his head before reaching out and grabbing a book off his bedside. He tosses it at Sirius, “That one’s a children’s novel. It’s about a frog. I’ve annotated it seven times.”

“Brilliant.” Sirius grins, plopping himself back down on his bed and opening the book, “I love frogs.”

Remus laughs, a quiet laugh, embarrassed and bashful. They both continue to read. Sirius pulls out his pen and scribbles a red, wonky circle when the frog finds himself in love.

Four weeks later, and Sirius and Remus have been swapping books back and forth in trade. Remus takes his pick of whatever is on Sirius’ shelf, or whatever he’s “accidentally” left at Remus’ place, and in turn, Sirius reads whatever books Remus has annotated. Eventually, he begins to read his own, purely for Remus’ annotations.

Remus never fails to leave annotations, and Sirius leaves them right back.

One time, Sirius even worked up the courage to write annotations in one of his own books before handing it off for Remus to read, just in hopes of Remus liking them too.

He does. He circles Sirius’ annotations with his own black ink, and adds little stars in random places, and he even goes so far as to argue with Sirius in the margins.

This week, they meet at the movies with James and Peter. As they wait in the popcorn line together, Sirius hands him two books. One of Remus’ own that he’s returning, and one from his collection. He read it, another book about love. There was a line about reliability, and loyalty, and pure, blinding admiration, even in petty fights and bickering, and Sirius took a bold step and wrote: This reminds me of us.

Remus returns the book about a fierce dragon, and slaps a new one in his hands about a man driven to murder by his untidy roommate, “Maybe you’ll learn something from this one, hmm?”

Sirius didn’t get it until the book was done, and he had read every snarky remark aimed right at Sirius that Remus wrote, including the note at the end that requested Sirius keep his mess to his corner of the room before Remus is driven to a murderous fate. Sirius laughed so hard James came rushing into the room out of pure concern.

The next time they exchanged books, Sirius gave him one titled The Picture of Dorian Grey. Remus had already read it. Sirius scoffed, knowing this would happen sooner or later. However, when Sirius moved to put it back in his bag, Remus snatched it away. He only borrowed it last time, so now he could write his annotations, which excited him. It excited Sirius too.

“I have a strange one for you.” Remus said, handing it over nervously, “I… I’ve read this one a lot.”

“Okay?” Sirius asked, taking it slowly, looking at the cover, so withered he couldn’t clearly make out the image.

Remus swallowed, “It’s really one of my favorites.”

“I can’t wait, then.” Sirius grinned, flicking through it quickly and seeing almost no room to leave his own messages.

Remus nodded, “Just… just beware, okay?”

“Okay, Remus, I’ve got it.” Sirius snickered, wiggling the book like a fan, “What, has it got like, wild kinky sex in it. Does this book delve into your deepest desires, Remus? Does it make you feel sexy?” Sirius teases.

Remus swallows and turns his gaze away.

Sirius’ jaw goes slack, “Oh, my Merlin- I… it does.”

Remus blush’s, “Look- it’s not like that, it’s just-“ He mumbles, hiding his head in his hands, “Yes, there is a sex scene in it, near the end. It’s very long, and very detailed. But that’s not- I’m not trying to be weird, okay? I’d prefer to not give you a sexy book-“

Sirius snickers, “I was only teasing, Remus, it’s fine. Is that the weird bit? The long, sensual sex scene?”

“Mostly… it’s… well, I suppose it’s everything that leads up to it.” Remus swallows.

“Got it.” Sirius nods, and because he’s his own worst enemy, he asks, “Do you get off to it?”

Remus’ front door promptly slams in his face, and no matter how hard he knocks, or laughs, or pretends he’s joking, Remus does not open the door.

Sirius goes home, and he very pointedly does not pick up the book. He’s too nervous now. To nervous to read about this sex scene in Remus’ most favorite book and wonder if he’s ever… Sirius flops face down into his pillow and goes to annoy James instead.

When they meet up to swap back, Sirius still hasn’t read the book yet. He makes up an excuse, telling Remus he hasn’t been focused enough to read something important. Remus doesn’t seem to believe him, he seems so disappointed. He gives Sirius back The Picture Of Dorian Gray and barely talks for the remainder of their time spent together.

When Sirius gets home, he flips through Remus’ annotations, reading them all, and having to do a double take at one. Sure, there are plenty of snide comments about Sirius’ good looks, comparing him to Dorian and making theories on how Sirius must be in a similar situation. But there’s one that makes Sirius’ heart race: I’m annoyed at you. This entire fucking book Dorian’s been described as the most beautiful fucking man on earth and the only face I can fucking picture is yours you bloody idiot. Stop being beautiful, please? It’s detrimental to my sanity.

Sirius’ breath hitched in his throat. He ran to James, immediately, crashing into his room and jumping on the bed, not even caring he’s just interrupted James with his shirt off in a very compromising position with Lily. He doesn’t even care that she’s there.

“Look at this, James, read-“

“Really, Sirius? Now?”

“I’m sorry, Prongs, but you’ve got your happy ending so I don’t care- look.” Sirius shoves the page in his face, “What does this mean?”

James shoves on his glasses and gives Lily an apologetic glance before reading, “What the fuck do you think it means, Sirius?”

“I don’t know.” Sirius breathes, running his fingers over the black ink, “It could mean anything-“

“Sirius!” James laughed, flinging his hands into the air, “It means exactly whatever the hell your heart thinks it means, probably.”

Sirius glares and James and turns to Lily, “You’re smart, what do-“

“Might I remind you, Remus is my best friend, Sirius?” Lily smirked, “So no, I won’t be saying anything, and if you’re smart, you’ll know that’s enough. And I warn you, I will be telling him about this.”

Sirius swallowed and glared at her, “Shit.”

“Shit in deed, Romeo.” She giggled, “Go away please.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He sighed, crawling off the bed, “Not too loud, please.”

James tossed a pillow at him.

“Hey, Sirius?” Lily asked, catching his attention, “You should read his book.”

“Right.” Sirius swallows, and very pointedly does not do that. He goes to make dinner with Effie and Flea, and ask them questions about it instead. They just say the same things James did, and they’re old and happy and very in love, so he actually trusts that.

That night, he lies in bed, a lamp over his shoulder, and he learns extactly why Remus seemed so nervous to share this book. Especially about the sex part, which was… well, it was really sexy. Like, so sexy. Sirius didn’t think anything could ever get that sexy. All he could think about whilst reading was Remus, and how badly he wanted to do those things to Remus, and how he wanted Remus to do those things to him. It was terrible, really.

So good, and so terrible, and so delightfully strange to read about. Because, in the start, the main character was engaged to a very wonderful woman. But by the end, he had left her. He left her because he loved a man. Two men in love. Remus’ favorite book was gay, with so many annotations about his own experiences, with a gay sex scene, with annotations about how much Remus liked the sex scene.

And most of all…

Sirius knew exactly what a lot of those annotations meant. Because around them were little stars. Within them they used “he” and “him” and terms of longing and yearning and… and then it got to a point midway through the book where things changed.

Remus stopped writing things like: I think of him. He’s more beautiful. I’m scared to lose him too.

Instead, he just used one word. One word scribbled everywhere. Beside so many different phrases, with different intentions and different feelings. One word that shattered it all, and that word was: Sirius.

Beside the phrase, he’s so beautiful, I hate him.

Beside the phrase, I miss him, I never got to have him but I miss him, no less.

Beside the phrase, kissing the expanse of his throat is something I think about often, no thought could be as beautifully filthy as mine when he’s around.

Beside the phase, I love him.

“Wakey, wake- oh, you’re up love. Are you alright, I’ve never seen you up with the sun before.” Effie teases as she walks into his room.

Sirius turns to her, eyes blinking. They’re red rimmed from crying. He didn’t realise it was morning. He still has the book in his lap, open to the last page where there’s a message. It’s an apology, and then that apology is taken right back and replaced with a heart.

“I didn’t sleep.” He muttered.

“Oh…” Effie mutters when she sees the state of him, “My darling boy, are you-“

“I have to go.” Sirius whispers.

“What?” She asks.

“I have to go.” Sirius says with more urgency, and he scrambles to his feet and makes a run for it.

“Shoes, dear!” Effie calls, and Sirius runs right back. He stuffs his feet in his slippers and runs off again, “Teeth!”

Sirius races back and hurriedly brushes his teeth. She calls for him again to change his clothes and eat when he tries to leave again, but he doesn’t bother. He just grabs the book and runs, tying not to slip in his slippers.

“Where’s he going?” James asked, standing his his doorway.

“Im not sure.” Effie said, “He’s still in his pyjamas. All he had was a book-“

“A blue one?” James asked.

Effie nodded. James rapt his knuckles on the doorframe and ducked his head inside, “Lily, he’s doing it!”

“Oh, yes!” She shouts back.

James gets a slap on the back of his head, “Did you sneak your girlfriend in over night, James Fleaumont Potter?”

James goes red, “Erm… no?”

Sirius is rushing. He couldn’t get Elvendork up and running, she still needs a few more tweaks. So he’s running there instead. All the way to Remus’ at who knows what time of morning.

When he gets there, he’s panting. He knocks on the door, but there’s no answer.

Lyall is probably at work, Hope is probably tending to her garden out back, and Remus is no doubt still sleeping. He’s worse than Sirius, he’ll sleep until something wakes him up, meaning he’ll sleep through till the next morning if nothing does.

Sirius doesn’t wait, he’s around the corner and shoving open Remus’ window, and hauling himself in before he can even think about it.

The desk that usually sits under Remus’ window is not there. So when Sirius dives in head first, expecting to catch himself on a desk, he’s rather shocked to come toppling down to the floor face first.

He groans, splayed out there on the ground, looking at the roof.

“What… the fuck?” He hears Remus mutter, and he pokes his head up to find that Remus is in the process of rearranging his room.

Sirius furrows his brow and looks at the time, “Why the fuck are you up and active at seven ten in the morning?” He runs his face and sits up, “Why are you rearranging your room?”

“I was stressed.” Remus swallowed, “Didn’t sleep.”

“Why?” Sirius groaned, his nose hurts, so he pokes it, which doesn’t help.

“Lily said you read what I wrote about you in Dorian Gray… called me, said you were asking what it meant.”

“Yeah, uhm- ow.” Sirius poked his face again.

“Don’t do that.” Remus grumbled, reaching for his cane and walking over to help Sirius up.

“Sorry.” Sirius yawns, his lack of sleep catching up to him.

“Why are you up?” Remus asked, “You don’t do anything before nine if you don’t have too.”

Sirius smiles, Remus knows him so well, “Didn’t sleep either.”

“Why not?” Remus hummed, casually leaning on his cane in that suave way he does. James doesn’t think it’s suave, he tells Sirius it’s just normal, but Sirius knows better than James. He’s blinded by love, of course he knows better than James.

“Was reading.” Sirius swallowed, holding up the book and wiggling it in his hands, “Uh… I made some annotations back… where they fit.”

Yeah, basically just Remus’ name right beside his own, everywhere, and lots of little moons. He even underlined one very sexy line in the dirty scene that really made him think of Remus, and drew and arrow pointing to it, and wrote both of their names with a heart around them.

“Oh.” Remus swallowed, taking the book when Sirius handed it back.

They were both blushing.

“Go on, open it.” Sirius mumbled, nodding for encouragement.

So slowly, tentatively, Remus did. He opened the book, midway through, and found his name, and little moons, and a million hearts scribbled everywhere there was space.

Remus dropped the book.

Sirius leant down to pick it up, because he’s always willing to do things for Remus. He always will be. He buys books with all the money he’s meant to be saving, to put them on his own shelf, so that Remus might browse and find something he likes. He just wants to please Remus. To make him happy. To make his life a little simpler.

“Oh, careful, it’s on the brink of falling-“ As Sirius stood back up with it, Remus kissed him. Very quick and very short but very on the lips, “apart.” Sirius squeezed out, “Oh.”

“Oh.” Remus muttered.

“Well…” Sirius swallowed, walking past Remus to put the book down on the desk. Because Sirius is respectful of Remus’ things, always has been, and what he wants to do to Remus right now is probably not very respectful. He turns back, and he grabs him, with everything he has, “You’re mine now.”

“Oh…” Remus mumbled as Sirius kissed him, pulling him down onto the bed, careful to help take the weight off Remus’ hip. Because he’s always thinking of Remus like that.

He lays them down, the way that makes Remus most comfortable, and he presses tight against him, and he kisses Remus with all the strength, and love, and devotion he has.

Sirius never stops buying books, and Remus pretends he never figures out what Sirius is doing. And in their own little house, when they buy one a few years later, Sirius fills a whole room with bookshelves just for Remus, and fills them until they’re overflowing.

He never gets tired of watching Remus read. And he never gets tired of seeing his own name written down in the margins of whatever love story Remus just finished reading.

★ ★ ★

This came to me in a dream. I don’t even know why. It was a vision and I just had to write it so… enjoy?

Also, I just had the image of the Ben Barnes fancast edits using the Dorian Grey clips in my head whilst writing this so I had to reference it. I’m pretty sure canonically Dorian doesn’t even look remotely like Sirius, and honeslty, that just makes Remus’ pining even more pathetic lamo.

Also, none of these books (besides Dorian) referenced are real. I wrote this between 2-4 am so I really had no brain cells left that could use real references lol. This was just fun.

If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it here <3

Wonderful Wolfstar lovers who were interested: @lemongrass77777 @weirdtinkerbellversion @lapassemirroir

#jay writes #between the lines #wolfstar #one shot #I love sirius who tinkers #he’s a little tinkerbell for real #and remus who loses all sence of reality when reading #also sleepy boy remus is real #and sirius who buys books but never reads them just coz #hes like me for real #marauders #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius & james #platonic prongsfoot mention #background jily #mention of platonic moonflower #or like Lily & Remus best friendship #idk what yall are callin it #fluff #so much fluff #books #bookworm remus #utterly obsessed sirius #padfoot #moony