#ive been thinking about this a lot. i think about this every time i see a 16 year old terf or christian

[bratzforchris]

Goldfish

Summary: Matt has a chronic illness that the nurses at his local clinic are all too familiar with. The new nurse in town hasn't had a chance to meet him yet, but what happens when she does?

Pairing: Matt x nursefem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of needles and blood, chronic illness, use of medical steroids, flirty nurse!reader (this is all fiction!), Matt is 20/reader is 23, Matt has a service dog!!

Word Count: Just over 2k

A/N: This is lowkey inspired by the experience I had a few days ago with a flirty nurse while I was in the ER (I'm still thinking about him--had me giggling n kicking my feet n shit like I was in a rom com [this is definitely a story time]). ANYWAY, Matt has PFAPA (my chronic illness!) here. It's usually a childhood thing, but some rare cases like myself don't grow out of it. You can read more about it here, if you'd like. Enjoy!!

Matt Sturniolo is all too familiar with his local pediatric emergency room. In fact, he’s been there so many times that the nurses have started to treat him as less of a patient, and more of a friend. “Hey Matt!”, “How’s YouTube going, Matt?”, “I remember you!”,  “I saw you last time!”, and the list went on. Some might ask why he still went there at almost 21, but when you had a chronic illness, it was best to see the people who had been caring for you for years if you could. These nurses had been caring for him at least once a month, ever since he was 12, and were usually quite skilled in how to manage the brunette’s comfort. 

Matt had PFAPA, which left him with high fevers and extremely sore, almost strep like sore throats every month. It was a miserable thing to live, and it really impacted his happiness, especially on days like today when he was having one of the worst flare ups he’d had in a long time and both Nick and Chris were unable to come along with him to the doctor. Luckily for Matt, he had his service dog, Emily, with him, but he still longed for a human companion as well. While some people wondered why he ‘needed’ a service dog, Matt’s disability was invisible. Emily would let him know when his flare ups were starting as well as laying on him to soothe his body aches and chills and helping with his anxiety at doctor visits. 

The nurse tech took him into the back rather quickly, running their usual tests of strep, the flu, and COVID. About 98% of the time, they would all come back negative, but the hospital staff liked to do all they could to make Matt more comfortable. Sure enough, the nurse practitioner stepped in about 30 minutes later, a sad look on her face. 

“How are you feeling, Matt?”

Matt shrugged, grimacing as his throat ached when he swallowed. “‘M not great.” he murmured, petting his pup’s head softly as the anxiety welled in his chest. 

“Well, everything came back negative,” she told, a sad look on her face. “We can test you for mono, though. You have a lot of the symptoms for that. That one is a blood test. We’re also going to give you an IV since you’re dehydrated.”

That sentence alone made him want to cry. Despite the tattoos and piercings he had, Matt hated medical needles. They hurt and they freaked him out. Sensing his anxiety, Emily scooted closer to Matt, whining softly and butting his leg with her head. Matt pet the dog’s head softly, steadying himself to get his breath. “Okay…” he breathed, steadying himself. 

The nurse practitioner patted his leg gently, hurrying out of the room to attend to her other patients. Matt began to panic, his breathing rapidly increasing as tears welled in his eyes. He didn’t want any of this. He just wanted them to tell him what was wrong so he could get some meds, go home, and sleep. Patting the bed he was laying on gently, Emily hopped up, curling into Matt’s side. The pooch rested her head on her owner’s chest, subconsciously working to slow the brunette’s heart rate. 

A few minutes later, another nurse and a lab tech stepped into the small room he was in, holding a tray full of supplies. Matt squeezed his eyes shut tightly at the sight, already dreading the feeling of getting blood drawn. Both healthcare workers were very kind, of course, whispering soft nothings to him as they patted his leg and prepared to draw his blood. They promised him that the procedure would be quick and easy, but those words never mixed well with a chronic illness. 

“Your vein rolled because you’re dehydrated. We’re going to have to draw from your other arm.” the lab tech informed him.

“O…kay.” Matt whispered shakily, trying to get his breath and the feeling in his hand back. 

The brunette knew that it was okay to cry, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing. He was a grown man, laying here in a kid’s hospital room, trying not to cry while they tried to draw his blood again in his right arm. Unfortunately for Matt, the dehydration he was experiencing from his extremely sore throat caused his vein to roll again.

“Oh sweetheart,” the nurse said sympathetically, patting his leg. “We’re going to give you a minute, okay? Let’s get some water and Gatorade in you before we try again.”

Matt just nodded as he was passed a mini water bottle and a cherry Gatorade. He was hearing their words, but honestly, he didn’t care. All he knew was that he was going to be poked and prodded again, and he didn’t like it. Emily snuggled into his side, whining softly and brushing her sandpaper tongue against her owner’s arm, trying desperately to get Matt to feel better. 

“Alright, honey,” the sweet, older nurse stepped into Matt’s room again, holding a fresh tub of supplies to draw his blood. “Let’s try it in your left hand, okay?”

Because chronic illness never made things easy, the third time was still a failure, leaving Matt with an already bruising hand and tears pricking his eyes. Before he knew it, he was being shoved a packet of goldfish crackers, a popsicle, and more water, being informed that he had to eat before they could try again. The snacks felt like swallowing shrapnel, making the boy cringe every time he had to swallow. 

“Hello, oldest patient of the day!” You cheered, practically walking into Matt’s room on a cloud of glitter. 

Matt jumped in shock, petting his dog’s head to calm his racing heart. “...hi…” he mumbled. 

“They called me in for backup,” You explained, a smile on your face. You absolutely loved nursing, and every day at your job truly felt like a gift. You’d graduated from nursing school last year at the top of your class and had been working in the pediatric emergency room ever since. It wasn’t every day that you had a patient who was 20, but you didn’t mind. “We’re getting this blood draw this time so you can get the fuck out of here,” You slapped a hand over your mouth. “Shit, I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind if I curse.”

For the first time all day, a small giggled made its way out of Matt’s mouth. “No, I’m okay.”

“I see you have a buddy,” You commented. “That’s nice.”

“She helps my…anxiety.” Matt seemingly chose his words carefully, but they still made you smile. It was clear that the boy had a bond with his pup. 

“I’m gonna look at your tonsils first so we can get you some medicine to help you swallow and then we’ll draw your blood, okay?” You asked, wanting to make sure your patient was comfortable with everything. 

At the mention of a blood draw, Matt’s blue eyes widened with anxiety, his body becoming visibly tense. You had become in tune with this, sliding on a pair of pink latex gloves and patting the soft material of the pajama pants on his knee. 

“Hey, look at me,” You murmured softly, waiting for his response. Once Matt had looked at you, you chugged on. “We’re just chilling, okay? I’m not going to do anything yet.”

Matt nodded, letting out an anxious breath he’d been holding. “Okay.” he whispered. 

You grabbed the flashlight to look in his throat off the wall. “Alright, I’m pretty sure you know the drill,” You chuckled. “Open and say ‘ahhh!’...oh yeah, you’ve got an icky throat. That looks like it hurts. Although…did you have a blue popsicle? You’ve got blue tonsils. It’s rather endearing.”

Matt flushed, his ears going red as he nodded. You smiled softly, throwing away the cap and hanging the flashlight back on the wall. You gave the boy the steroidal liquid the nurse practitioner had drawn up for him to ease the swelling in his throat, a blush creeping onto your face as Matt scrunched his eyes up at the disgusting taste, quite literally making grabby hands for his Gatorade. 

“Fuck, that’s gross.” he whined. 

“At least you got it over with!” You hummed cheerfully, in a small aim to make him feel better. “Unfortunately, it’s time for the bad part, but we can make it a little less shitty if you want? Maybe you could play me some music? Something you like, okay?” 

Matt fiddled with his phone for a moment before landing on Dominic Fike’s latest release. You smiled at the lyrics, releasing this was one of your favorite songs at the moment. You prepped the materials needed to finally get Matt’s blood drawn for the mono test, patting his knee gently in an effort to calm his trembling frame as he rubbed his pup’s head. 

“Hey, can I tell you something?” You whispered shyly, setting him up for the procedure. “You’ve got goldfish in your teeth–it’s really cute.” You giggled, your own cheeks becoming red. 

The brunette whined, breathing deeply as you began to draw his blood. “That’s embarrassing.” he grunted. 

A few deep breaths and small, sad noises later, you had finally gotten the sample needed. “We got it!” You told Matt excitedly, placing a Barney band aid across the site. “All done!”

You bustled around the room, making sure Matt was comfortable, throwing away your supplies, and making notes on your clipboard. You helped the boy drink water and got him (and Emily) a blanket, before taking his samples down to the lab to get checked out. By the time everything was said and done, an hour had passed and Matt was asleep against the small bed when you knocked on his door. 

“Hey sleepyhead,” You giggled, stepping into the room. “Nice nap?” Matt fisted his eyes, nodding as you went over his discharge instructions. You always hated releasing patients with no explanations or answers as to why they felt so bad, but in cases like Matt’s, that wasn’t always possible. Your best bet was to make him as comfortable as possible here. “Do you have any questions?”

The brunette shook his head, finally able to speak now that the steroids were beginning to work their magic on his throat. “No, but thank you. You’ve been the best nurse I’ve had all day…maybe even ever.”

You blushed at the compliment, helping the boy stand since you knew he was already exhausted, dehydrated, and lightheaded from having his blood drawn. “Do you need help getting to your car? I actually just got off.” You murmured shyly, glancing at the clock on the wall. 

Despite Matt’s steadiness on his feet and his grip on Emily’s leash, the blue-eyed boy nodded all the same, a quietly flustered look crossing his face. You smiled yourself, maneuvering Matt out to his car with a firm, yet gentle hand on his lower back. Thankfully, the waiting room had quieted down quite a bit now that it was nearing the evening, so no one questioned or pulled you away from walking Matt out. It was a slow trek with your patient being a bit unsteady on his feet, but you didn’t mind. Matt’s presence made you happy in an odd sort of way; you hated that he wasn’t well and that this would continue to happen for him, but you couldn’t stop your mind from thinking about seeing him again. 

“I um…I hope this isn’t weird, but I would really like to see you again. Maybe another time? When you’re not in pain?” You coughed and chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck. 

He smiled as he slid into the driver’s seat, rubbing his aching head that was seemingly getting better just by being around you. “I’d like that,” he offered. “I’d like that a lot, actually.”

Matt didn’t end up leaving his trip to the hospital with many answers beside the usual ‘It’s your chronic illness’, but what he did end up leaving with was your phone number scribbled onto a pink sticky note that he had been given in the parking lot. 

tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxysc-blog @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @spencereidenthusiast @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @patscorner @julesgrl @0strawberrysorbet0 @strombolilovr @matt444nixi @remussbitch @devthepoet1221 @mattyblover07 @loisnotaa @mollyquinnxoxo @graysturns @pepsicolapussy333 @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @m00n-0n-paws @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @raysmayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @billsslutt @aemrsy

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo imagine #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #the sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagines #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets smut #sturniolo fanfic #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo triplets fanfic

[strwberri-milk]

[waddles into the ask box like a deranged penguin]

your queue is empty? this is a crime. i am here to fix

food for thought: our beloved kaeya teaching us how to ride a horse. chaos & typical kaeya flirtation ensues.

ive been thinking about kaeya a lot lately,,,,,

You never had a reason to learn how to ride a horse. Kaeya's supposed to lead a cavalry. It makes perfect sense for you to ask him to teach you how to ride as you watch him saddle up his horse. He'd promised to take you for a ride today and you didn't see why you couldn't be the one leading the horse around.

He thinks it'll be fun, smiling at you and helping you onto the horse. He was considering seeing if he could borrow another horse to take you with him but decides against it last minute. It'd be far more entertaining to be sitting behind you, arms around your waist as he tells you what he wants you to do.

You thought that it would be some light hearted fun with minor teasing from Kaeya. You understand that horses spook easily and you thought that he'd be nicer to you and actually focus on teaching you how to ride the horse safely. What you didn't know is that the horse Kaeya happened to care for was a very calm, unspookable creature. It wouldn't matter how much you squirmed - the mare was more than content to keep pace with whatever was being asked of her.

Kaeya fully takes advantage of this and leans into your back, resting his chin on your shoulder. Every time he asks you to do something he whispers into your ear, palm pressing against your stomach a little tighter to signal you to pay attention. You whine and keen, leaning into his touch but he doesn't care, secretly using his own legs to control the horse as yours are far too weak to be used properly.

When the two of you finally get back home you need his help to get off of the horse. Once you get off he keeps you in his arms, carrying you back home and teasing you for being so riled up that you didn't listen to a single one of his instructions. He promises that the two of you are going to spend more time working on your horse riding skills, giving you a smug smile at the way your cheeks heat up.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader

[anemoiashifts]

why everyone won’t shift.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

“do you think everyone will shift?”

no.

“but if they really want they’ll eventually—“

no.

before you pick up your pitchforks & form an angry mob in the comments, hear me out.

first & foremost. what is a want ? a want is something you desire. but not every want is desired. for example, ive been thinking of getting a cat once i move out of my parents house. i want the animal & have the funds for it. when i dig deeper in my desire, i see all the vet trips, the having to feed it & take care of it & i realized that i don’t actually want the cat at the moment. im not ready to make that drastic of a change in my life. on the surface, id like one but i don’t want to take on the responsibility for taking care of a pet at the moment.

i like the idea of getting a cat (shifting) — but when the actual time comes to get a cat (actually shift), i don’t actually want a new pet at the moment (to create that big of a change because i am comfortable with my situation & not mentally prepared / mature enough).

i made a post about comfort already. what previously spoke about can tie into this.

if you don’t actually want something & just like fantasizing about it, that’s okay. but fantasy & imagination needs to be backed by intention. you need intention & effort put into your shifting attempts. ive seen so so many people say “i tried to shift” & all they do is say “i said one affirmation & rolled over & went to sleep & hoped i would wake up in my dr.”

you could say a million affirmations & hope you will wake up in your dr & not shift. you know why ? hope. it’s not hoping you will shift — it’s that internal knowing. it’s letting go fully of the comfort & all you know of this life to go to another & a lot of people don’t want to do that even if they say they do. again, they like the idea of shifting, but aren’t stopping to consider that you’re actually living it.

this isn’t a bad thing. if you actually have come to the conclusion that you don’t want to shift & are in the community — that’s okay. if you’re just interested in the science or content for the subject & that’s why you’ve stumbled across this blog, i don’t have an issue with that.

when i say not everyone will shift, i mean that not everyone wants to shift in the first place despite what they may say. what they want is an escape. time & time again i see comments on tiktok say “i want to get out of this reality”. that statement has nothing to do with wanting to shift — it’s wanting to get out of the situation you are in. you do not have to shift to get out of your current situation. if you live with family or are younger, it’s different, i understand.

if you’re someone who thinks “when i shift, ill be happy.” no no no. happiness comes from within you. while the 3d can bring you momentarily happiness, that only lasts so long. if you don’t have internal happiness & self love those feelings won’t last. shifting — in my option — can sometimes be putting a bandaid on a bigger issue & that’s loneliness & a yearning for another life. you can solve both of those right here at anytime.

lastly, shifting takes effort despite what you may think. “but such and such shifted without trying”. cool, that’s them. but have you ? if you’re reading this im going so safely assume at least a handful of you are saying “no” internally. when you want something you have to work for it. weather that be manifestation or putting yourself first. if you wake up & think “i didn’t shift” or “i hate this world it’s sucks” guess what ?? you’re focusing on the negative. what you pay attention to & give your energy to expands because you’re shifting awareness to it. you make up your thoughts & control them, thus affecting the 3d.

im not saying you can’t shift with negative mindsets or anything. im saying confidence helps a ton. how are you going to believe other people can shift when you can’t even extend that belief to yourself ? you’re making it much, much harder for yourself. doing healing work, finding the root cause of why you want to shift (for love, sense or belonging, etc.) & finding that here first, may alleviate the desperation to shift. when you have a sense of knowing, there’s nothing to be desperate about because whatever happens, you know the outcome already.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

[hecksupremechips]

Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

#jhariah #this one just rawrrfrrr #and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’ #nice #im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it #god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like #hnnnghhh #hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot #the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM #sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’ #like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke #but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me #and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards #the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome #the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear #its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe #but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill #and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill #you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit #and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it #and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was #very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me #which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me #yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍

[sonknuxadow]

sorry i dont really like the shadow is silvers dad theory/headcanon/whatever and part of the reason for it is that people keep presenting it as an actual thing that could be possible even though it makes no sense and all "evidence" people use to back it up is easily disputed

#''they both have white chest fur'' okay ? there are so many other characters who have small physical traits in common #doesnt mean they have to be related #''shadow and silver are lancelot and galahad in sonic and the black knight'' okay and . #im sure there might be SOME meaning to the character choices in the storybook games but i highly doubt their lives are 1 to 1 parallels #or that the character choices are meant to imply anything about the characters that we dont already know #plus amy was nimue and nobody tries to argue that shadow and amy are related because of that? #also im aware that a lot of dad shadow stuff takes place in the future when silver is a baby and shadow has still been alive for a long tim #(which. how would that even work wasnt shadow in stasis again in the future) #but sometimes i see people do it with like present day shadow being a father figure to the silver who time traveled there ? #thats like the horrible combination of people infantilizing silver in a way they dont do with other characters his age or younger #and people pretending shadow is an adult when he isnt . what #also i dont get why people insist that if shadow is silver's dad then the other parent MUST be someone from the existing cast #like . silver is not from a few decades into the future hes from 200 years into the future #none of the characters youre saying shadow is gonna get with are gonna be living that long im sorry to say #and why does silver HAVE to be the child of a couple in the existing cast why cant he just be some random guy #and im not saying every au idea has to perfectly align with canon #but a lot of the people who think shadow is silvers dad arent presenting it as a fun little baseless headcanon #theyre presenting it as an actual plausible theory . when it really isnt . #also ive noticed one of the most common pairings for silvers parents is sonic and shadow . #sorry but that is just not happening i feel so strongly about sonic never wanting to get married or have kids #i think shadow being an older brother figure to silver could be cute . #and the idea of a timeline where shadow doesnt die or get put into stasis or whatever the hell and is still around in silvers time #could be interesting . but im not really on board with the dad thing

[luwupercal]

if youre doing some art requests, i wouldnt mind seeing some celestine and greyfax. just them doing something, together. im a huge fan of the ship, and I like seeing art of them. and a fan of your art!

ive never drawn these women before and dont actually know much about them but i imagine that celestine is the one who asks "honey would you still love me if i was a worm"

#ask #bobbobinsonofficial #lines #warhammer 40k #saint celestine #inquisitor greyfax #me looking at warhammer armor: you know what... i'm not drawing this. this already took me a day #please ignore greyfaxs stupid arm. i gave up on it. thank you #the bag is because of that one post about lesbian cruising back in the day. i hope you know the one #ive been seeing that post a lot recently and i laugh every time at the visual #btw i think sororitas should be muscular. not like unreasonably ripped like a space marine but normal human Buff #apart from that celestine is tall because i think tall women are awesome. or maybe shes flying idk up to you #i also didnt draw her wings and halo because im lazy. slaanesh's blessings upon everyone <3 #*july doodles #request

[deoidesign]

Melatonin is a delicate balancing act, it took some time to find a dose that helped me fall and stay asleep without leaving me groggy after 8/10 hours. For me, that has been 10 mg gradually increased to such over a few weeks then steady since.

I also take roughly a week without it every month or two, as the bottle recommends. Listen to your body and do what you can. Good luck, and thank you for the sweet gay were/pire comic<3

Yeah, I can tell my sweet zone is somewhere between 3 and 6 mg, at least right now. Or at least I think it is. Admittedly my sleep has been absolutely horrible since I was a kid so my standards on "not tired" are pretty low, so I'm not actually sure if they're any good right now. All I know is I'm getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and I'm not spending every waking moment fighting off a nap!

Thanks for the confirmation I've gotta test with it and go off and on and such, my doc didn't give me a straight answer on that (he just kept saying take it as needed... I need it every night!!!). 75% of the time being good is way better than 0% so I'll take what I can get!

And the gay comics are the least I can do 🧡 thank you for reading it!

#my boyfriend actually commented unprompted that ive been complaining less about being tired all the time..m #like dont get me wrong. im still tired #but it has been a WORLD of a difference. #like. its been every day since i was like 14 that just. all day i could fall right back asleep #and every night i wake up every. other. hour. #ive never really been able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time #so ive never gotten uhm. good sleep before. #and ive had to stay in bed 14. 16. 20 hours to even feel like i can GET UP!!!! #super bad hahaha #but I'll take a week of that every month or so over every day #im just glad ive found a dose and combo thats workint for me cause ive tried melatonin before and it didnt help #but that was qlso before i used those nose strips. which also help me a lot? #so i think the combo is important #and i wouldn't be shocked if in 5 years i learn of another secret sleeping ingredient #anyways. maybe i can line up the bad sleep week off melatonin with the other week that sucks every month auajjddjdjejdj #see how it goes lol #oh ive also been taking other vitamins which have also been helping #so that combo leaves me with some actual waking time that im not fighting off a nap #this is why I've been posting more recently btw lol #asks #jackedupjack

[daydadahlias]

you can't reclaim a word that's never been used against you

#if you've never been called fat before please dont use that word #as someone who has been called fat a lot in my life in very painful ways... y'all dont get it #and i dont want people within a hundred feet of a word they dont understand the connotation/power of #im really just sad and tired of seeing non-fat people call ashton fat. because it just Keeps happening a *lot* and i just like #cannot stomach it at this point. i mean i literally see it FREQUENTLY and now ive just seen some stuff about it on my dash tonight and like #it brings me to tears literally every single time i see it. and i *never* see fat people call ashton fat ever. it is *only* non-fat people #and it's because they just simply do not understand how that word feels. and i shouldn't necessarily fault people for it BC they dont get i #but people writing feeder fics about him?? and going out of their way to describe his body in a way they never would a thin person's... #and more than that. like. he's not *fat*???? that's just not the right word. sure he HAS fat. everyone does #but calling him fat pointblank is just like... i do not see the benefit in it. he's Big. he's Muscular. but he's not *fat* #and it makes me think that you dont know any fat people. when that word has only ever been used in a derogatory manner by the majority #i mean that is NOT a neutral word. at this point in history. and if you have never experienced the harm that it can bring i just #i mean i dont know why you *want* to be using it #so yeah uh saying my bit on that bc y'all know me #im a little blabber box chatter mouth #and it's just something that i see a lot of especially on ao3 and one of the primary reasons actually that #i dont really read new fics by authors i dont know #because the way people treat ashton's body is very different than how they treat others' #and it's usually not fat people creating that content SO! #please uh consider maybe the words you're using... and how they could affect others! #ok i have a lot of homework to do tonight so im gonna. hunker down and do that #and feel Not Good about my body because if you think *ashton irwin* is *fat* then #i dont really want to know what you think about an actual fat person

[j0nika]

sksjdj this made me laugh!

i didnt know what to put on the mug, i didnt know what might symbolize madoka, so i just drew a little mini kyubey💀

but lets just say its merch, in a timeline where madoka is actually a huge fan of madoka magica. and the mc is...homura!!!!

i think i just made a super cool au

(thanks for more of the super kind words! im glad you like the way i draw! i'm trying my best to stick with the style of madoka magica while still incorporating my own style in there, hope its working)

#aghhh im so grateful #you are super nice #thanks for the motivation for me to draw more mm!!!! #ive been struggling with finding fandoms that i fit into recently #and im finding so many different things that im interested in that its too much for my brain #so i keep feeling overwhelmed that i have to draw EVERYTHING because i want to!! #i just dont have the time energy or motivation #all the while trying to stick to my roots with danganronpa #im slowly forgetting danganronpa and how much i have a passion for it and its stressing me out #as much as i want to grow as a person i genuinely want to keep up with danganronpa and learn more about it! #im just in a stage where im discovering a lot of different things such as madoka magica and its a lot #because i feel the need to create create create everything i see #every scenario i really want to draw! #but theres too much!!! #i didnt even have the motivation to draw danganronpa (my one and only fandom) for a long long time #but now that im starting off strong with mm #i think ill really be able to get some creativity out there #it makes me happy that my art is enjoyable by you and others so #seriously thank you so much for your words and excitement about the things i make bc i need that sometimes! #even if it seems small like im overreacting #it is just really nice to hear a total stranger say that they like the things i make #i know its not just to make me feel better and that its genuine #ive never really had social media or posted the things im passionate about ever #this is honestly super new to me #so yeah #a little means a lot #sorry for ranting i just wanted to say that haha ty for reading

[newtness532]

im so annoyed with everything today, i think i need some tasty food and a million hours of sleep and then I'll be back to normal

#the teacher at the first class today was so dibsjdhdhdhdhsgs 😫 #like she was teaching us things that are like unrelated to the class that shes teaching so idek why she was teaching it #but also its things that we have been learning since the 1st semester and we've done them in at least 10 classes and she was acting like #this was the 1st time we were hearing about it #like oh yeah we're on the 7th semester of studying nutrition but no one bothered to tell us how many calories are in a gram of fat #and she gave us homework 'to see if we know this' like #oh yes i can make a meal plan for a child with crohns or cystic fibrosis or celiac disease or everything else we've done this semester and #all the other semesters but i guess i cant tell you what micronutrients are in this one breakfast meal #like fuck off and stick to what you're supposed to be teaching #anyway i know im getting more annoyed than i should but she was just even more annoying than usual today #like she interrupted the lesson every 5 minutes to yell at someome to be quiet i wasnt even aware there were people talking until she yelled #anyway #also my new earphones aren't working well idk why ive definitely not been mistreating them that much for them to break in less than a month #like i had my old pair for at least 4 years until the broke and i dont think the wire got cut in them like the sound was coming out weird #but there was sound coming out. in the new ones you need to hold them in a very specific angle for sound to come out #and like im careful with how i put them away so what is up with them? #my theory is that they make wired earphones shitty on purpose so that you will spend a lot of money and buy wireless #also we had said from Tuesday that we would hang out with my friends today but i guess they forgot or idk and they made other plans #(to go home and sleep) and during the weekend the one friend wont be here and next week my family will be here so we probably wont hang out #again until next year and we have exams almost immediately so we wont be hanging out much then either #also my period is supposed to come soon and i hope that it will either come today or it will wait until after Christmas #ideally it will never come ever again but we cant always get what we want #anyway im gonna go eat the rest of my μεσογειακό and go take a nap #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

[luminisvii]

with how the splat 3 fanbase is acting about splatfests, you'd think there's something real and tangible on the line and not like, superficial bragging rights and a few extra snails. idk why people are sitting here and getting angry at shiver as if she's a real person who has any actual will to do anything and not just pixels on a screen, especially when there are legitimate issues with how splatfests are designed and run in splat3, and that's the devs and nintendo's fault, not shiver. she's not real and she can't do anything to you. and i've seen way more complaining about the concept of "toxic shiver stans who always pick shiver and ruin it for everyone" than i have any actual evidence that these kind of people exist on a mass scale. it really feels like that kind of person is a guy that the fanbase made up to be mad at every time they lose. i agree that there are huge problems with splat 3 but the moment someone lays the blame on shiver they throw all credibility out the window. it's not shiver, there's no evil cult of shiver stans manipulating the splatfests, and don't get me started on how people are talking about the asian playerbase with these splatfests.

#luminiscore #splatfest #splatoon 3 #listen guys. ive been playing since splat 1. and let me tell you. even then it wasn't as bad as this #*old man voice* back in my day callie won almost every splatfest and we liked that JUST FINE. ok we didn't #but judging from numbers of past splatfests majority of the player base DOES pick based on what they like best and not the idol #so idk why im seeing people call for idols to be dettached from splatfest thats not gonna change the issues with balance #like i hate to break it to you all but majority of the splatoon player base are casuals who are not deep in the fandom if at all #and they do not care about what your ideas of fairness are. they just wanna play #and its stuff like. i think a lot of you seriously underestimate how popular stuff like vanilla ice cream is. it's not shiver #im just amazed and baffled by all the hatred and vitriol directed at shiver bc ive never seen this before with splatfest discourse #the WAHHH (insert winning team here) IS FULL OF EVIL SPAWN CAMPERS excuse is as old as time and should not be listened to. sorry #and in no world in a pvp game will the enemy roll over and let you win and play “fair” bc you want them to. thats not how it works #and i despise how whinging and screaming from a small and super toxic section of the fandom is poisoning discourse for casuals #touching grass isn't enough some of you guys need to start a garden

[worldsquietestjojosfan]

i only end up leaving fandoms and never return because i forgot. like i deadass forgot the source material. and i dont remember being in the fandom either.

#like the fact that allegedly i drew a lot of wwx in 2018 #im still trying to figure that out because i thought my friends made me draw it when the donghua was airing #but that would make sense if it was 1 drawing. i have found seven. #i swear i have never touched mdzs before now in my LIFE #but i also swear i didnt know about danmei before now. but my brain starts itching when i think that thought #theres something hidden in there #but i definitely didnt know about mdzs when my friends were participating in untamed zines. #it rang 0 bells. but that happened years after i drew the wwx pictures #every time im convinced and reach a conclusion new evidence pops up #nobody ever in my life has been able to convince me to draw multiples of something i dont love. ever. #so that means i knew about and liked wwx #that didnt happen!! it couldnt have or else id feel deja vu when i saw him again #it didnt happen!!!! it couldnt have!!! #me with nrt right now. factually i know i was there. and i drew. i dont remember shit tho #sighhhhh i wish i had a brain #i dont believe i ever knew about mdzs before now. i need to find out whose drawings those are. its not me. #some words #i dont remember a single damn thing about nrt #i know i was in the fandom because: i see the people ive met before and they know me. so it happened

[muselexum]

<3

#sending you all so much love #it's crazy how a year has zipped by #every so often i'll come by and check up on the dash and i love seeing all the familiar names <33 #I'll prolly write a more official post in the new year at some point #but im so eager for this work contract to end at the end of this year #im grateful for the job in many ways but in others it was really burnt me out and drained me #ready to turn a new leaf in the new year #and hopefully get some of my creative motivation back when my mind clears #ive put even art/painting on the sidelines as well this year which is something im sad about #but on the positives I think ive had a lot of personal and emotional growth this year that im really proud of!! #(still dont have a driver's license though.. LOL OOP) #and ive really worked on my anxiety and depression. like even if this job is burning out and depressing me// I don't feel DEPRESSED ya kno. #ive just been experiencing a lot of personal growth and change #and the people around me in my life have told me that they've seen changes in me this year too so :') #BUTTTTTT #I so so miss my creative outlets and I feel like I've neglected that this year #I went from escapism to fully avoiding the outlets so now I think it's time to transition into the healthy middle #anywaaaay #hope yall have been doing amazing #love u all and ill probably pop in here for the holidays <33 #blows u all kisses #ooc #tbd

[faineant-girl]

i wish all addicts, in recovery or not, a life free of sorrow forever

#.vent #kinda. im not gonna delete this one though #i just. i sure am thinking about this a lot. #i listen to like. trip report videos or whatever and like. the comments section on every single one. just nasty #theres no sympathy for an addict to be seen. unless they're also an addict or are recovering #my dad is a recovered addict. hes been clean for 6 years. i love my dad and hes a wonderful person. #i obviously still have trauma from when he was actively in his mess. to deny that addicts have caused others trauma is to be reductive. #addicts can cause trauma because theyre people. and people can cause trauma all the same #but the lack of understand or care or basic respect to anyone dealing with addiction is just. appalling. #im sick and tired of hearing the same old fucking phrase that its the addicts fault cuz they decided to take the first hit. like #man how fucking cruel can you be. how heartless ya know. #like its obvious hardly anyone commenting abiut this knows anything about what being an addict is like. like. #i know i dont. ive been sober my whole life right. i do not have the same experience. #but. i have a compulsive disorder that makes me perform a task that is 1 harmful 2 almost entirely out of my control #and i cannot describe to you how difficult it is to ignore that urge. for your mind to know what youre doing is harmful. but #your body physically is not listening to you. #like. its a different thing when its addiction. but being compelled to do something you know is hurting you isnt unfamiliar to me #plus with addiction the added factor that your body becomes physically dependent on a drug and it hurts you for a long ass time to try and #stop and withdrawl can sometimes literally be lethal. its so fucking sad to see people hold not even. like an ounce of sympathy ya know #if an addict has abused you im not saying you need to forgive them. you dont. but not every addict is youre abuser #and while you do not need to be involved. every addict deserves a good life. everyone deserves a chance. #just. god. makes me mad. makes me upset. #if you are an addict especially if youre not in recovery. i hope your days go well. i hope the world gets kinder to you.

[peapod20001]

I’m the type that can and will cry if think too hard <3

#random post #me tag ∠( ᐛ 」 ) |/ #I’m not an overly emotional person in the stereotypical way. but I do get in my feels when thinking about life and the experience of living #I’m like. constantly explaining things to myself cus there’s never really a time or place to talk about it #also my method of explaining things is very not coherent sometimes. so it takes me a bit to really get my point across in a comprehensible #way. I’m a big thinker. I have many thoughts and ideas a views. a daily thing of mine is noticing problems #and then fixing them in my head with thought out explanations and motives and outcomes #it’s like I’m talking to someone else. much like how I format my text posts. that’s how my inner monologue is #me talking to myself is actually me talking to someone else. someone that isn’t real #anyways it’s a daily occurrence. every day of my life is spent with thoughts similar to those breaking down a movie #lots of thoughts from adhd. compulsive thoughts from ocd. overwhelming thoughts from autism. distressing thoughts from bpd #ya. this isn’t a vent I just need to like. see the thoughts in writing so I can do smth else. like eat this muffin ive been staring at for #over an hour now <3 mmmbfbg yea muffins are hard to eat now cus I had some with mold and food mold especially is a big nono for me #spend like. five minutes examining the damn thing before I even consider taking a bite. I’m very hungry an thirsty </3 #when your mouth is so dry you can taste your own mouth 👍 I’m experiencing #nothing in particular. just experiencing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like having an experience and living #drank my tea and I had like. hallucinations of like an alcohol prep pad. I’ve been using those in my ear cus. tmi. had a pimple that’s #causing problems so mom suggested that. it burned! which means it worked so word. I’ve noticed lately that both me AND my family have been #using ‘word’ a lot. dad says we’ve been saying it but no we haven’t. if we had I’d have BEEN saying it. maybe we’ve used it before for a bit #but now it’s back. idk. I’ve said it in class on more than one occasion lmao I don’t look like the type to say smth like that but whatever #it’s like when I used to say bro after every sentence like 10 years ago lol. we’re a family of parrots we repeat eachother a lot #I started saying I love you out of no where and they started doing it too. we whistle at eachother from across the house. sing ear worms #together. quote funny things at every opportunity and drive the joke into the ground. everyone in this house is a different kind of mentally #I’ll and it’s the most beautiful clash of personalities because we’re all so annoying and we love eachother so much and also our #communication is shit because some ppl have hearing loss and another is a short fused child and some are quick to interrupt and some dont #get a word in and some just can’t explain and some can’t understand. we get there eventually at some point. we don’t get the full grasp of #how much we love eachother yet. but we’re gettin there. anyways this went into several different directions but they’re all good ones #I think. if you read all this good on you! this is my brain 24/7/365 haha ok love you

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

#i was thinking abt it earlier #but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why #actually i do kinda know why. #i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me #earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject #too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i #was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often #especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d #everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just #cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even #consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural #but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other #peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something #something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they #move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less #sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can #always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response #and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone #it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything #not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i #feel like im not actually being heard or listened to #and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you' #or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore #god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it #for everyone else all the time #is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say #this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice #god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover #and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel #like they actually like me