#its not like a huge diff but it feels like one... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

erwinsvow · 21 days

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the frustration shy reader must feel bc she’s freaky… no doubt about it, but rafe is like she’s too precious and innocent for that

no srsly.. he thinks shes so fragile because she took some time to adjust to being intimate w him but its like no she was just a shy virgin and rafe is so overwhelming but like when she gets comfortable... its a whole diff story !

"c'mon, kid, hasn't even been an hour," rafe groans, while you crawl into his lap again. you sit right on his dick, moving the way that you know will get you dicked down within the next ten minutes. or at least you thought it would.

rafe's huge hands come to your hips, lifting you up and off, tumbling onto the bedspace next to him.

"m'not a dildo, kid. give it a rest, it's fuckin' tired."

"i bet i can wake it up," you giggle, hand snaking back onto rafe's chest and trailing down. he grabs your wrist.

"what the fuck. are-are you not satisifed. is that what this is?"

"i never said that," you say with a sincere shake of your head and one of your concerned looks. "oh, am i not supposed to want it more? is that bad?"

rafe's not sure what he's gonna do with you.

"no, baby, it's not bad. it's healthy." you look relieved, chest heaving slower while you sink into your side of the bed.

he thinks that's the end of the conversation, but it comes up again a few days later, when he picks you up and takes you out for icecream on the pier. you lick your cone, watching the sunset while rafe stares at you, when ropes from someone's boat catches your eye.

"that rope looks strong," you comment, with another swipe of your tongue. rafe's about to start a lecture on boats when you cut him off, piping in again. "i bet if you tied me up with that i couldn't even move. it would probably leave scars. right?" you glance up from the rope to look at your boyfriend.

"huh?"

"the rope. if you tied it around my wrists and ankles. it would probably leave a mark. and hurt. you think we can take that rope or should we buy our own?"

he stares at you, not sure if you're joking.

"no, no one's tying you up with rope. what the fuck?"

"ugh. rafe?"

"yeah? kid?"

"you want some?" you offer, handing him the ice cream cone.

the next time he's heard enough. he's driving through the woods, a creepy backroad that led him to barry's, where he'd taken you with him since it was late at night. there's no lights, just the moon and the trees.

you stare out the window, he thinks you're tired from the day's activities.

"what're you thinkin' about, kid?"

"i bet if you let me loose in these woods you wouldn't be able to find me." he's a little confused, but sometimes you say odd shit so he goes along with it.

"yeah, that's what getting lost means."

"no, silly, not lost. if you let me run so you could chase me." you crane your neck, looking out the window at the expanse of the forest.

"to... find you?"

"duh, rafe. how else could we have sex in the woods if you don't find me. that's the whole point, you have to chase me. like a predator animal. i wonder if there's bears in these woods."

"are you jokin'?" you turn to look at him, with that same confused expression, sweet and confused.

"no? why?" he slams on the brakes, pulling over.

"get real, kid. you want me to chase you through the forest and fuck you, what, against a tree?"

"no, rafe," you start sincerely, looking concerned. "not against a tree, wouldn't that hurt? maybe on the grass. it just depends how far i get, until you find me, i guess. it looks like just trees here."

he stares at you, and then back at his hands on the wheel.

"rafe?"

"yes?"

"so are we gonna do it today, or..?"

#sorry i projected so hard incase its not clear i need to get chased in the woods and fucked against a tree. i guess #anyways i love you thank you babe! <333 #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #shy reader

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matchavellichor · 9 months

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okay huge fan of your dark!seb but hear me out…… dark!ominis

A.N: I absolutely adore dark!ominis omfg—I have like five diff dark omi drabbles in my google docs that i've abandoned bc i feel like no matter how i write it, it seems too out of character for him, then i end up hating it LOL. This isn't as bad as my dark!seb but here's Ominis doing some.....uhhhh questionable things to MC under Imperius.

Just This Once

dark!Ominis x f!MC - NSFW/Angst - 3.1k words - ao3

Tags: !!Non-Con!!, Pining, Obsession, Inappropriate Use of Imperius, Unconsensual Kissing/Touching, Masturbation, Omi Being a Lil Pervball

Summary: Ominis' infatuation leads him to break some of the principles he's held dear to him for the better part of his life.

Part 2, Part 3 (づ￣ ³￣)づ

The fireplace in the Slytherin common room has long gone out for the night, only a few crackling embers to fill the silence. Moonlight seeps in from the windows, through the murky waters of the Black Lake, casting the room in a palid, green hue.

Despite the hour, he knows he’ll find her there.

He wonders if it’s one of the rare nights where she’s asleep by the time he arrives, curled into herself on one of the armchairs with her book forgotten on her lap.

One of the rare evenings where he can afford himself a bit less self-control. Indulge in the silkiness of her skin, trace his fingers over her features until the point she inevitably stirs, and he’s forced to retract himself as if he’d never touched her.

It doesn’t matter if it is. Tonight, he’ll touch her the way he wants to, either way.

His skin prickles with warring emotions as he makes his way soundlessly down the steps of the dormitories. Shame, guilt, disgust—overwhelming anticipation.

The dizzying feeling of want overshadows them all.

An ugly, marred tug of obsession claws its way under his skin like a parasite. He can’t escape it, can’t make it stop—hasn't been able to for a while now.

He’s grown accustomed to it. Grown used to the way his nerves burn when he touches her, the way his lungs scream for oxygen when he catches her scent.

He always wants, yet he never gets, and he’s so, so tired of wanting.

Just this once.

The reminder eases through him like a breeze, quelling the incessant pounding of his heart in his ears, the thin sheen of sweat settling itself over his skin.

His hand trembles when it dips into the pocket of his robes as he approaches the familiar set of lounges in front of the fireplace. He feels for his wand and tightens his hand around it, the wood biting into his skin, a sensation almost comforting in nature.

Just this once.

“Was wondering when you’d show,” her voice is warm and sleep-rough, a hazy melody that proves just as useful in easing his nerves. “Long day?”

“Something like that,” he murmurs. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth, weighted with attrition for something he has yet to do.

She waits for him to sit down beside her, but instead he stays in place, hovering over the side of the couch.

He clears his throat, nerves stiffening his voice. “Do you think we could read in the Undercroft tonight?”

She looks at him perplexed, until her lips curl into a smile.

“Since when did you become such a rule breaker? Sebastian finally rubbing off on you?” She humors, stretching her sore limbs.

“I’d just prefer it. Change of…scenery.”

She snorts. “Change of scenery, huh?”

He nods sheepishly, cheeks burning. Change of scenery? Really, Ominis?

He can feel her staring at him, contemplating. He’s half-convinced she can hear the way his heart is nearly beating out of his chest.

“Please,” he adds for good measure.

His fingers find his wand again, tucked surreptitiously behind layers of fabric. He supposes he could cast it here, even if that isn’t part of the plan. The thought makes anxiety trickle up his skin. He doesn’t want to stray from the plan.

When she rises from her seat with an acquiescent sigh, his entire body sinks with relief.

“Alright, fine, let’s go…but we’ll have to be quiet.”

The walk to the Undercroft is spent in the silence of disillusionment spells and muffling charms. Inside the darkened cellar, with only the soft sound of her humming as she settles onto one of the old chaises, a flurry of second-thoughts numb his brain in white static.

Disgust settles itself like a boulder in his gut, the bitter taste of bile rising in his throat as he takes a seat beside her, as he considers over and over again what he’s about to do.

He can feel her thigh press against his when she shifts in her seat. It’s strangely grounding. He feels the taste rescind.

She’s so incredibly warm, so terribly close, that it buries any trepidations he holds deep into an untouchable part of himself, until he can think of nothing but the prospect of more of her skin on his, until desire overshadows any inkling of guilt he might possess.

The urge to touch, and taste, and caress, subjugates the contrite voice in his head that repeats a litany of you promised, you promised, you promised.

His nausea blends into something else as he quietly slips his wand from his pocket, and any vows he’s made to himself about never doing what he’s about to do, dissolves into inexistence as the spell passes through his lips in a whisper.

“Imperio.”

The incantation takes effect with such fluidity, with such little effort, that in that moment, despite all his years of fervent resistance, he has never felt more like a Gaunt.

He resists the urge to double over and be sick on the flagstone floor.

He can barely hear the sound of the book in her hands falling to the floor, nor his own wand slipping from his fingers with a dull clatter. The ringing in his ears is far too loud to allow it.

His core buzzes with the thrum of dark magic that washes over him, a mordant reminder of what exactly he’s done, one that he can feel impress itself on his very soul. He takes a fortifying breath.

Just this once.

“Turn to me.”

The command works over her immediately, and though he can’t see her, he can hear her shift in her seat to face him. He’s never been more grateful for his blindness than in that moment, that he can’t see the glazed-over appearance of her eyes, her vacant stare. He’s certain it would break him.

He shifts forward himself, and when he touches her for the first time with trembling hands, the incessant ringing in his ears ceases. The drove of self-reprehension comes to a halt, replaced by something starved, replaced by the instinct to take.

He drags his fingers unsteadily over the ridge of her cheekbone, traces the contours of her brows, down the bridge of her nose, the same way he’s done before only briefly in her sleep, though this time with more unabashed exploration.

The thrill of not having to be careful awakens something in him. He wants to commit every millimeter to memory.

His thumb brushes over the gentle arch of her cupid’s bow, then over the plush pillow that is her bottom lip.

He doesn’t even realize he’s been holding his breath until his lungs burn for oxygen. His hand takes hold of her jaw and he dips forward, so that his first inhale is made up of nothing but her, his nose pressed to the soft hair at her temple.

He tilts his head and lets his lips land on the smooth plane of her cheek. Her skin is warm and silky, just as he remembered from the brief bits of contact he’s allowed himself in the past. He lets out a contented sigh.

Slowly, patiently, he works himself up to his destination, planting tender kisses along her face, reveling in every little sensation, until he reaches the corner of her mouth.

Her mouth.

He’s almost convinced he’s dreaming.

He takes a shuddering breath and connects their lips the way he’s wanted to for an agonizingly long time.

If he’s ever known softness before, it’s incomparable to what he receives from her lips, from her face cupped in his hands.

He’s filled with the insatiable desire to know more, to drown in it, to suffocate on the feeling of her against him.

His tongue brushes over her bottom lip, tentative and a bit too cautious. He’s not exactly sure how to kiss her, but he notes rather morbidly that she won’t mind either way. It’s not like she’ll remember.

He tries again, experimenting, prodding at her lips softly at first, but she doesn’t part for him the way he expects her to, doesn’t grant him entrance. It’s… not right.

His brain blares with alarms in deafening repetition that it’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s wrong.

She’s stiff against his lips, frigid and unmoving. It’s not how it should be. It’s not how he wants it to be. It’s askew and breaks him out of his fantasy and it makes him angry.

Makes his fingers dig too harshly into her skin, makes him crowd her against the armrest of the lounge and press his mouth to her more forcefully, as if he can brutalize the compliance out of her.

A whimper escapes her, a brief breach in her trance-like state, and he’s snapped out of his overwhelming frustration. He breaks the kiss and pants against her skin, the reminder of the power he has over her surging back.

“Kiss me.”

Relief oozes into him like the trickle of a downpouring stream, cooling his blood and letting him melt into the feeling of her lips finally moving against his. His touch retreats back to tenderness.

There’s a clumsy sort of uncertainty in the way his mouth moves against hers, an unpracticed mess of tongue and teeth. He doesn’t mind, doesn’t let himself dwell on the chagrin that is his first kiss.

It’s all he’s ever wanted with her. She tastes sweet on his tongue, the culmination of all his desires being fulfilled, and yet still, somehow, it’s not enough.

Even as he kisses her deeply, tenderly, until his lips feel raw and kiss-bruised, and there’s a delicious soreness in his jaw — he can’t shake that little, driving pain in his chest of want.

No, not of want. Of need.

There’s a part of him that he doesn’t quite understand, a part of him that aches for more without being conscious of just what more is.

He’s aware of it, though. He feels it in the tension pulling just below his navel, the heat pooling in his blood. He recognizes it in the depraved instinct to slip his hands up her blouse, to hike up her skirt, and— and—

He contemplates straying from the plan for the second time that night.

All he wanted was to kiss her, just this once, just this once— but as he tips her back onto the cushions, as he hovers over her with his lips never leaving hers, he realizes that isn’t true.

He lets himself sink against her. Her body molds with his, presses against his own, plush and warm and indescribably perfect. He pins her down with his weight—even if he’s aware he doesn’t have to, he finds some sick sense of security in knowing she can’t escape.

He wants more.

He slots himself between her legs and tugs one of her thighs around his waist. It’s almost too much, his breathing scattered and uneven.

He wants more.

Even if he isn’t sure what more entails, he possesses some idea as his hips begin to rut against hers of their own accord. The whimper he lets out makes him burn with shame.

He buries his face in the crook of her neck to hide his mortification. He inhales, until the dizzying scent of her perfume numbs his brain.

He’s subtly aware of the fact he’s grinding right against her knickers, her skirt bunched up haphazardly at her hips to accommodate him between her legs. He tries not to think about it.

His thoughts feel hazy as he contemplates the fact that only a thin piece of cotton separates her cunt from rubbing right against the front of his trousers. It would be so easy to—

He can’t.

He forces himself to keep his hands above her waist, far from temptation. He doesn’t force them not to wander, though.

Just this once, he repeats, as his fingers hover over the front placket of her blouse. He muffles his breathing with his lips pressed to her throat.

He trails his hand up to her collar and unclasps the first button with trembling fingers. He tries not to think about it, either.

He concentrates on how she tastes when he dips his tongue out to lick a stripe just under her jaw, and for a moment he doesn’t care how lewd it is, doesn’t care how utterly debased he’s acting.

Her breath hitches, just the subtlest change in pitch, but it’s enough for him to pretend that she wants this. That she wants him.

Little, brass buttons clatter to the stone floor of the Undercroft in quiet clinks, byproduct of his impatience, of his self-restraint slipping from his fingers in the hasty manner he undresses her.

The same hasty manner he fumbles with his belt—before he can think too long about what he’s about to do—until he’s gripping his weeping cock and biting down on his lip to stop the shameful noises threatening to escape his throat.

He palms himself shakily, remorse adling his unsteady movements, while he tries to work the courage to actually touch her. It isn’t long before his hand is slick with his arousal, and the skin of her neck is damp with his heavy breathing.

His hand hovers over the bare skin of her midriff, fingers twitching with the desire to sink them into her soft flesh, to trace over her curves and memorize the contours he’s only felt in daydreams.

His voice is raw when he commands her, riddled with shame. “Ask—ask me to touch you.”

She obeys in a whisper. “Please, touch me.”

It’s wrong, it’s all wrong, it’s not—

“Ask me to touch you and say my name.”

“Touch me,” she breathes, and he can feel the vibration of her voice where his mouth is still latched onto the base of her throat. “Please, Ominis.”

There.

His name on her lips strikes his nerves on fire, lights the very blood in his veins alight. He caves.

Her skin is warm under his fingertips. He can feel her heartbeat where he presses his palm to her sternum, a frantic pounding— undoubtedly a reflection of her subconscious beneath the influence of the spell.

He doesn’t allow himself to feel guilty, he can’t. Not now.

Instead, he indulges. Pushes the sheer material of her chemise the rest of the way up, until it’s over her chest, and he can feel.

Her nipples pebble as they come in contact with the cool air of the Undercroft and he runs his hand over the stiffened bud, rolls it between his thumb and index.

She’s overwhelmingly soft. It disgusts him how badly he wants to defile her for it.

He notes wryly how revoltingly weak he is, if all it took was some poorly-placed obsession for him to do away with every last principle he’s spent the better part of his life cultivating. How easily an Unforgivable spilled from his lips at the prospect of feeling hers.

He’ll scrub his skin raw afterwards in the shower in a desperate attempt to forget all of this, he promises himself. He won’t do this again, he can’t—

Just this once.

His head sinks to her chest and he murmurs against her skin, “Again— Say, say it again.”

“Please, Ominis.”

He sighs in blissful relief. “Yes.”

He counts the rows of her sternum with a drag of his tongue. Her chest is already sticky with his saliva when he takes hold of his cock again, the dripping tip sullying her untouched skin.

His hips rut into his own hand and the Undercroft fills with the sounds of his quiet grunts. He squeezes his eyes shut and imagines it’s her he’s thrusting into as he fucks his fist, his other hand groping blindly, fondling and squeezing her supple flesh until he’s sure he’s left marks in his carelessness.

“You feel so good,” he murmurs, because he likes to pretend it’s real. “So–so good, angel.”

She lets out the softest whimper, and it’s enough to make his jaw fall slack, a pleasured groan escaping his parted lips.

He presses his forehead to hers. “I love you. I love you so much. Tell me— tell me you love me. Please say it.”

“I love you.”

She obeys too fast, her voice too vacant. It’s unnatural. He doesn’t care. Those three little words are enough to wrench a strangled sort of sound out of his chest.

“Again,” he begs, voice hoarse, and he’s only distantly aware of the wet tracks running down his cheeks. His thrusts are sloppy and frantic, so close to his undoing. “Say my name.”

“I love you, Ominis.”

“Fuck,” his voice cracks, his head dropping to her shoulder.

He’s pushed over the edge with a sob, painting her stomach and chest in ribbons of milky white. An endless litany of I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry pours from his lips as he shudders through his climax.

Shame sears through him like fiendfyre and he moans his forgiveness on a cry against her lips, kisses her tenderly as if it’s an act of retribution.

His hand finds her stomach, his palm rubbing into the incriminating mess of his seed on her skin, and the satisfaction he feels with it only serves to amplify his self-disgust.

He kneads the sticky flesh beneath his fingertips, as if he can make it so that even after the scourgify, some part of him will be there, a memory only he’s aware of. He doesn’t want to let her go, he can’t— he—

He does so anyway. He forces himself off of her on unsteady legs and tucks himself into his trousers.

He cleans her with all the care in the world, as if his tenderness will somehow make up for how crudely he’s violated her trust tonight.

Everytime his hand brushes over her skin as he redresses her, he repeats to himself that it was just this once. Brands it into his brain, lets that contrite voice repeat it over and over again until he might go mad.

He takes her back to the common room and sets her down gently into that same armchair she was waiting for him in at the beginning of the night. Brushes a lingering kiss to her forehead that stretches for a moment too long.

He mutters a reluctant finite incantatem under his breath, pairs it with a heavy sleeping spell, and retreats to his own dorm before he can fall to temptation again.

Only then, behind the drawn curtains of his four-poster, skin still prickling with the memory of every way he’d touched her, is he made certain of something he’s been trying desperately to deny all evening.

This was the first time, but it certainly won’t be the last.

#hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy smut #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis x mc #hogwarts legacy fanfic #ominis x reader #hogwarts legacy ominis #ominis gaunt x mc #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #hogwarts legacy fan fiction

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seakicker · 2 years

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Found the sexiest concept in an old fic from a diff fandom but my god I have to share this with you:

A hexed fleshlight. Anything out inside will give your own pussy the same sensations, and you don’t know why or who’s doing it. Imagine if childe got a hold of this fleshlight like omg—

It was a gift for him, wrapped up all neatly on his doorstep. It’s gotta be from the fatui, no doubt, but when he opens it, he immediately thinks it’s a prank and that he should throw it away. But damn, it looks like such a nice quality, and his old pocket pussy ought to be retired by now…what’s the harm? He’s careful in inspecting it, but he’s soon satisfied with a lack of any pepper spray inside or some fluid that could hold a disease. Still, he chooses to use a condom the first time, just in case.

When Childe enters the toy for the first time, a moan is almost immediately ripped out of him. Archons, he thought the fleshlight looked a little small for his huge length, but he’s quickly proven otherwise. The fleshlight almost seems to pulse around him, sucking him deeper, squeezing him tightly. Fuck, he could easily get addicted to this.

He holds nothing back as he pounds into the toy, grasping it so tight his knuckles turn white. His moans and grunts fill the air as he fucks and ducks and ducks into the toy, this toy that seems MADE for him, DESTINED for him, so tight and perfect he could almost imagine it being a real cunt. He cums embarrassingly fast, making quick work of getting rid of his used condom so he could inspect the fleshlight one last time. No…it didn’t look like it had any extra mechanics to it…but then he sees it. Softly glowing runes that brighten as he wriggles a finger inside. Ahh…looks like this toy has a spell over it, something that makes it feel just like a real pussy. Childe smirked at this revelation as he put away the toy, making a mental note to find and thank whoever gave it to him. He peacefully passed out later, blissfully unaware of its effect on you….

Imagine being at work, praying the minutes to go faster as you desperately want to clock out and go home already..! Five more minutes left to your shift, but a strange sensation fills your stomach with butterflies…something prodding at your hole, pushing open your folds and shallowly dipping into you, exploring your insides as you let out soft gasps and moans. What the hell? Is this a weird prank? You quickly glance around, stomach dropping when you realized no body was near you, or looking at you…

Your thighs squeeze reflexively as you feel calloused fingers push deeper and deeper inside, prodding at your cervix before massaging your g-spot. It’s difficult to hold back a keen, eyes rolling back in your head from this unprecedented pleasure. But as soon as it was there, it was gone. These phantom fingers were no longer playing with you and…damn! Still a minute left…well, how much trouble can you really get for leaving a little early?

You ready your things, prepared to get out of there and make a doctor’s appointment as soon as possible. Who the hell has ever heard of anything like this before? Strange, phantom pleasures of being fingered? What?

You’re barely out the door when you freeze in your tracks. Something much…larger…was now pushing into your hole. No, no, no! First these fingers, and now, a cock? Your tear filled eyes whip around, searching for a bathroom to lock yourself in. Surely enough, you find yourself squeezed into a stall, hands clamped around your mouth, trying your hardest to hold back moans and cries. You’re fucked so roughly by this fat, long cock. Each trust has you shaking, hands grasping for a hold as your legs lose their strength. Your walls flutter and clench on this invisible dick that ravishes your plush walls, ticking you so hard and fast you think you might just pass out. Despite its pulsing veins and intense pace, this…person…has no interest in your pleasure. Each rough thrust knocks against your cervix, stretching you out and leaving you screaming. It’s as if you’re being used as a toy. Just some inanimate piece of plastic for somebody to fuck until you’re both senseless.

When it’s done, you’re a mess. Chest heaving, flyaways sticking to your sweaty face. It’s crazy…sick, even, but as you stand up with trembling legs, you quietly hope this all happens again (and soon).

Don’t worry, it will ofc ;;)))) I bet if childe doesn’t use a condom his cum would be immediately absorbed and spit into your pussy too <3333 even better, what if a miscalculation occurs so that whenever childe cums all the cum is doubled or even tripled on the way to you? Ugh I just wanna be filled up to the brim with his cum is that too much to ask??? Yeah but anyways he would def become obsessed with that fleshlight and you’d be a mess every day because of it <333

—⌚️

WAIT WAIT WAIIIIIT HOLD THE PHONE BECAUSE THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD... ⌚️ ANON DOES IT AGAIN

i think my favorite idea from all of this is the fact that childe would never be able to reasonably deduce that the toy is "connected" to someone else's body— who ever heard of such a thing? a fleshlight that's essentially connected via bluetooth to a real person's pussy?

yeah, right. as far as childe's concerned, it's just a little spell to make the toy feel more "lifelike," if you will— a little enhancement to take it from lifeless plastic to realistic pussy. he almost wants to say that he doesn't care about the specifics; why worry about the spell and any potential consequences when (a) he's already carefully inspected the toy and found nothing wrong with it and (b) it feels so damn good? it's easy to throw caution to the wind when you're enjoying something so much. as a result, he ends up using it whenever he wants and however he wants, regardless of where you are or what you're doing because, as far as he knows, you don't even exist, right?

alright, that's actually probably my second favorite idea, but it connects to my first favorite so it all counts. besides, this whole ask is My Favorite Idea, really. anyways, because childe is blissfully unaware of the fact that his new favorite toy is connected to you, he just goes at it basically whenever and without a single care as to what you may be doing. you could be at work like you were the very first night you experienced the, ah... sensation, you could be in class, you could be with people, you could be alone (if only you could be so lucky), and it'd all be the same to childe, who's just excited to get off after a long, long day of work. sure, some occasions are more... convenient for you than others, but you're always happy whenever it begins all the same.

it doesn't really matter to you that whoever's behind this... arrangement cares little for your pleasure because you still manage to find pleasure amidst it all anyway. maybe it's the simple principle of being used like a toy that gets you going— you're always fucked absolutely senseless by this foreign sensation until you feel your own juices drip down your thighs, pounded so utterly mindless you can hardly manage a word by the time it all fades away (a little too soon, if you're being honest). what i'm trying to say is that the absolute best part about this arrangement is the idea that you're totally and completely powerless to delay it or stop it; whenever it starts, you just have to try to enjoy yourself as much as you can regardless of where you are, what you're doing, or who you're with. sometimes you're lucky enough to be able to slink away to a bathroom or a closet, other times it becomes a test of will to see how well you can control yourself at work in front of customers or in class in front of your classmates.

hopefully nobody sees the large cum stain between your thighs when you stand up... this mystery sensation always leaves such a mess.

#this is so GOOD #faves #childe smut #childe x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact smut #afab reader #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia smut #cw exhibitionism #⌚️ anon

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terramythos · 25 days

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Anyway here's my breakdown of the ffxiv jobs, my opinions on playing each, and the tier rank of how good their story was

TANKS

WARRIOR - warrior is so fucking funny why did they make it able to solo heal itself and the entire party in 90% of the content in the game. Raw Intuition/Bloodwhetting is so broken in dungeons its hilarious. And then they have like 3 additional healing skills on top of that. And they kept buffing it throughout Endwalker. So it is currently the easiest to play, does the most damage (i think...?), and has the best healing of any of the Tank jobs. 2nd fave probably.

Story Tier: C, it's ok, Curious Gorge is a good name. i have like nothing to say about it it's a generic AF story

PALADIN - I used to hate PLD but I think the partial rework they got halfway through Endwalker helped it a lot. It's much less clunky now. Probably still my least favorite Tank though Hallowed Ground is fun and it's pretty close to Gunbreaker for me.

Story Tier: F, this is the worst class storyline in the entire game. It's so stupid. The writing is so bad the writers acknowledge it makes no sense at all and I'm like. Yeah, thanks, I am experiencing this shit. Perhaps write a story that makes sense next time instead of pointing that out.

DARK KNIGHT - Unfortunately this is my favorite Tank 🫡 which is rough since it has the worst survivability out of any of them. But I love how you use MP and the silly number of OGCDs. The Blackest Night is such a fun ability and it's a crime that it's not a baseline skill you get from the start. Why do they have so many DRs that only cover magic damage. I must ask.

Story Tier: S, there's a reason it's the most popular and well regarded class storyline. It's really good, also the only questline I know of that uses the quest log text as part of the narrative. Outside maybe a few of the very late Endwalker quests. And, well... same writer lmao

GUNBREAKER: I think GNB looks cool as fuck and I like that it has 2 DPS rotations. The Gnashing Fang combo is so fun. Superbolide memes are always fun. My main issue with it is a skill issue because I am just constantly misaligning its burst windows.

Story Tier: C. It has some interesting lore but I found it pretty forgettable as a story.

HEALERS

WHITE MAGE: I hated White Mage for a while but something clicked and now I totally get it. I find it fun in dungeons cause you get to Holy spam and stun lock everything. As uh. The healer. That's fun. Once you get Afflatus heals (and then Afflatus Misery) it clicks. It's fun maximizing damage and playing chicken with the tank's HP.

Story Tier: B, you get a lot of lore around the Padjal, and I think the Stormblood story where you find a padjal living in hiding with her mother is pretty good! Also it's not technically the job storyline but there's a WHM side quest to get a unicorn mount? i guess it's technically a CNJ quest but same diff. no one else gets that shit. so that's cool

SCHOLAR: probably my least favorite of the healers... it just feels super clunky. You can tell a bunch of different design philosophies went into it over the years and none of them mesh very well. They've made it so the Fairy Gauge controls literally one spell. Why have the gauge at all? It's also a huge missed opportunity that there's no tie in or interaction with the fae in Shadowbringers. I love the idea of a battle tactician healer but I think it needs a rework.

Story Tier: B+, I liked the characters and its the main way to get backstory and lore on what happened with Nym.

ASTROLOGIAN: While I think AST has a similar issue to SCH (lots of different design philosophies over the years) I find it way more fun to play. I like the card mechanic and how it interacts with the rest of the party. AST is basically the only job that has its own like. Minigame? As part of its rotation. And I know a lot of people don't like the RNG for it but personally I find it fun. I know AST is getting a redesign in Dawntrail so hope it's good.

Story Tier: C? I think? I'll be honest I don't remember it super well but I didn't find anything objectionable about it. And I like the tarot aesthetic and lore and how it's healing based on manipulating luck.

SAGE: I think SGE is tons of fun, I'm not sure if I like it or WHM more. I love all the skills SGE has for preventing damage and the gimmick where your DPS heals someone in the party. Visually the hi-tech laser shooting healer is a lot of fun. IT HAS A GAP CLOSER. The only thing i wish was it wasn't so MP negative and that it did more damage. It's a little sad its DPS output is so low compared to the other healers (even AST when you factor in how it buffs the party). Since SGE is supposed to be a healer that heals through damage it's silly its damage kinda sucks.

Story Tier: A, I loved this storyline. Both the Endwalker job stories are very self contained and interesting. While the twist is pretty obvious it's still an interesting exploration of uh. Scientific ethics. Yeah

PHYSICAL MELEE DPS

MONK: I've probably played MNK the least of the phys melee but I like the whole adaptable combo thing. Not much else to say since I have played it so little. Might bring it back out and try again. It DID have the funniest guide in the Balance discord for a while.

Story Tier: D. I think? I remember thinking it was dumb, lmao. Sorry.

DRAGOON: MAN I wished I liked DRG more. It looks so fucking cool and I like how it interacts with the dragon lore. But I find it very punishing to play. To do good damage you have to align so many different cooldowns... and snapshot your DOT correctly... and screwing one thing up just fucks your DPS output forever. Like AST I believe this is being reworked in Dawntrail so I hope it feels better to play.

Story Tier: C+. I think it starts strong since you get to meet Estinien pre-Heavensward and it melds nicely with that story. But I found it pretty directionless post-HW which is a shame.

NINJA: I remember finding this one fun. I like that there are different combos you do that have varied finishers depending on the situation. I am just... bad at remembering which combo to use to get which finisher, lol. So I haven't played it as much. NIN gets a lot of flavor other jobs don't get with their unique run and jump animations. And you get a Bunny of Shame on your head if you fuck up a combo, which is incredible.

Story Tier: A. The Rogue story is probably the most memorable of the basic class quests. Ninja just has great characters and a fun story. What is with that one guy. Karasu? If you know you know. I also like how the Rogue characters show up later in the Ninja story. That's fun.

SAMURAI: I had a similar experience to WHM here because I initially hated it then really came around once it clicked. SAM seems very complex, it has a ton of buttons and different combos. But it is actually quite intuitive once you figure out the general pattern. And it does INSANE damage. I think it's the highest DPS output in the game? I love building the combos and then doing a huge finisher for a bajillion damage. The guaranteed crits and constant OGCD weaves make me feel unstoppable. I think this is tied with RPR for me.

Story Tier: B+. I found the exiled samurai character and his journey toward redemption very compelling. I won't spoil beyond that. However it does fall apart a little in the second half. Still fun but not as good.

REAPER: I love RPR, the teleportation is a lot of fun, and I love finally unleashing the demon form and going ham on the enemy. The weapons are the coolest looking in the game. Every scythe design hits. I probably played this the most in Endwalker. My main critique is the Death's Design mechanic. I hate having to keep a stupid debuff on the target to do damage. It's like a dot but without the optimized snapshotting. If they want to keep this idea i think it would feel better to change it into something like SGE's Kardia where you apply it to one enemy to do increased damage to it without having to worry about reapplying it. not sure how they would balance this for aoe but that's not my job. But even with that caveat I still really enjoy the job.

Story Tier: A+. While it doesn't reach the highs of DRK's story it comes close. I love the badass old lady main character. Her hunting a voidsent that possessed her grandfather would be cool enough but making her a Garlean exile in hiding who grudgingly agrees to train you just adds an extra cool factor. I really enjoyed this story. As a bonus theres a lot of incidental dialogue in the post-6.0 Endwalker story if you completed the RPR story because it ties in a lot.

PHYSICAL RANGED DPS

BARD: It's a bit clunky, its got some outdated design elements, it has one of the lowest damage outputs in the game... and i LOVE IT. this was technically the first job I ever played? totally different character like 8 years ago. and i was so so bad. I think i am actually pretty good at current BRD. the animations look cool. i like that it's a class you really need to work for and optimize to eke out that last bit of damage. and boosting everyone else's damage by existing is kinda neat.

Story Tier: B. I'll be real I barely remember this but I do remember it was gay as fuck so immediately gets an extra tier for that.

MACHINIST: MCH is really funny right now because like. It's phys ranged, right. The design behind phys ranged is you have 100% uptime cause you can freely move around and not have to worry about cast timers or melee range or anything. So the trade off is that they do less damage than other classes. Endwalker MCH did not get the memo and does insane damage anyway. My controversial opinion is that it has similar burst DPS to RPR. No i will not elaborate. I'm also bad at doing good damage on MCH which is impressive since it is easy.

Story Tier: B+. Some Ishgard noble's gay son wants to build machines instead of killing dragons the good old fashioned way and has to prove himself to get taken seriously. A tale as old as time. See I haven't done this quest in like years but I still remember it. He is a memorable character. It's just not like. knockout wowza compared to the A tier stories.

DANCER: Dancer is the second easiest DPS job in the game behind SMN. So if i am sleepy it's the one I like playing. You play simon says. you do a lot of damage when you play simon says then do almost no fucking damage otherwise. I think it's the lowest direct damage in the game? for a dps i mean. You have high stakes sexual tension with a DPS of your choice via Dance Partner. I wish other DNC players knew how Dance Partner works. YOU CAN DANCE PARTNER ANOTHER DANCER. THE BUFF STACKS. BUT YOU CANNOT DANCE PARTNER THE SAME PLAYER AS ANOTHER DANCER. THOSE BUFFS DO NOT STACK. ok i'm good. anyway

Story Tier: C. there's some shit about negative emotions and purging them? in theory i think this has some interesting implications with Endwalker lore considering Dynamis and its role in the story. Very similar mechanically to what's going on with the DNC story. but i really don't think the writers made the connection so it's like pure speculation and not the actual story. It's meh. fine i guess. i did like all the flashy dancing sequences.

MAGICAL RANGED DPS

BLACK MAGE: I am so so so so so so so bad at BLM. i pull up the guide. i read the guide. it all makes perfect sense. i go into a dungeon or trial or something. somehow i always get like Zeromus or some shit. and i drop Enochian or something and everything goes to shit and i'm yelling and i'm not even like slide casting or teleporting or anything i just run around crying. then i remember i have like 10 more buttons i haven't been pressing and oh god the dot fell off. people play this? for fun? i admire it. apparently they do a ton of damage if you can play it. could not be me.

Story Tier: B? There's some voidsent and Thirteenth lore. all the black mage characters are Lalafell because it's funny i guess. OH YEAH it has like the one named male Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te NPC in the entire game and he's fun. look at this twink:

sorry i don't have anything to say about BLM i am bad at it

SUMMONER: easiest DPS job in the entire game. they redesigned it for Endwalker so it is practically a new job. i have no idea how it played before. but it is super streamlined. maybe too streamlined? it's another one to play if you want to turn your brain off. i like that at 90 you summon The Actual Primals instead of little representations of them. and i like the way your burst phase switches between Bahamut and Phoenix. it all looks very cool. they should add Leviathan as a summon in Dawntrail.

Story Tier: C.. i don't remember a single thing about this questline except you interact with Y'shtola's half sister. i think you go to Cartenau at some point. idk

RED MAGE: RDM is one of those jobs that looks really complicated when you start then you actually play it and it is just super super easy. that being said i think it's really fun. I like balancing the white and black magic gauges. Dualcast is a great gimmick and it feels cool to lob two big spells in a row at something. Dualcast Verraising a chain of dead players is so fucking funny. it's a shame that the existence of Verraise means RDM does shit damage to compensate for its utility. It and DNC just sit at the bottom with BRD barely scratching ahead of them. i think? i don't remember LOL

Story Tier: A, I really like the story and characters. I like that you have a middle-age world weary catboy (catman) as your mentor. and i like that he canonically trained Alisaie too and you chat a little about that. it's a fun story!

BLUE MAGE: what the fuck is a blue mage

Story Tier: ???

#my posts

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christiansorrell · 3 months

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TTRPG Read-Through: Traveller - Book 1

Here is a read-through I did about a year and a half ago (originally posted on Twitter) of one of the all time classics: Traveller by Game Designers' Workshop! This read-through just covers Book 1 - Characters and Combat from the original Traveller box set trio of books. - Christian

This is the 1981 Second Edition printing of the classic Traveller three zine box set! Been wanting to read this for ages now. It's discussed A LOT in Mothership circles.

Really interesting to see GM-less and solo play options here. Didn't realize that was being done explicitly at this time. Also, nice to see "he or she" language here rather than the just "he" you see a lot in older games.

The UPP is clearly the creation of an utterly deranged mind. This seems like a huge overcomplication of just listing stats (unless all your players are proficient in hexadecimal).

[Hi, it's me from the future here (aka now - 2024): I've learned to embrace and love the UPP (or more specifically the planet stat version from one of the other books). It's complicated at first but really quick and cool once you know how to read it.]

I really like Social Standing as a stat replacement for charisma or charm or other social skills you tend to see. Feels like it would have more impact on the story and less of a "Roll to see if you convince him, I guess" sort of anticlimax social skills have most of the time.

I'm now into the "you can die during char creation in Traveller" bits. Really cool in some ways. Really comical in others. It recommends you enlist your bad stat characters into the Scout service because of it's high mortality rate (so you can roll a diff char before play), lol.

Essentially, you roll stats and that's your entire character but to give them some experience they can enlist in a Service. You have to roll to get in and may get rejected. If so, you submit to the draft (get into one at random). You can die. You can gain skills and promotions.

Honestly, the char creation feels like a solo game unto itself. Risk v reward of how far to push your enlistments to boost your skills and standing and benefits. You could have a whole story in your head by the end of it. Great Session 0 material.

As a 34 yr old, this hurts. Apparently, I have -1 Strength, Dexterity and Endurance now...

I admire commitment but asking GMs to use this full char creator for all NPCs (which means generating chars until you get one capable of filling the role you need) is truly too wild. Best part: at the end, it just says you can also pick whatever you want for stats and skills.

The weapons and intro text have much more of a space as a new age of sail vibe to them than I was anticipating. It's cool. Far more Dune than Alien (so far).

Interestingly (unless I missed something), skills are detached from your stats. Your base stats make getting into a Service easier and help you with Saving Throws and such, but skills have their own modifiers based on the situation and your expertise. It's cool (if a bit dense)!

In case you were wondering, there is absolutely no art in this entire book. I'm hoping we'll get some in one of the other two books with vehicles and ships and such but won't be holding my breath. Gives the whole thing a very Serious vibe.

Always interesting to see how older games chose to handle this (or not).

Here's the UPP in action along with quick listing of other character info. Interesting even if it is just too overcomplicated for my tastes.

Can't overstate how much char creation feels like a whole solo game of its own. You can roll a character at age 18 and have them go through seven 4-yr terms in a Service before retiring and having substantial cash, specific possessions, memberships and social standings. Wild.

The character sheet mentions PSIONICS which is exciting (but I'll have to wait till Book 3 for more on that apparently).

Combat is straightforward but has some unique bits: a focus on stealth as an option and movement/attacks occur by all parties simultaneously which means everyone (enemies too) gets to move and then everyone chooses who to attack and you roll them all. Sounds really fun.

Stats have cool effects in battle. Your Endurance stat is the number of attacks you can make before needing to rest (can you imagine if DnD just didn't let you do a base attack at a point?). Strength and Dex can boost or lower certain weapon rolls like you'd expect.

If trained in a weapon, you can give your expertise as a negative mod to your enemy's rolls to attack you to reflect parrying and blocking which is cool. The skills also add to your attack rolls. Skills just seem really useful overall here.

I just love that we get stats for broadswords, revolvers, and laser carbines. Plus, there are even special tables for archaic weapons for when encountering lower-tech civilizations. It feels like a really wide open interpretation of what space could look like. Feels exciting.

A few more equipment tables and a final quick reference page at the back and that's all for Book 1. I'll be back with Book 2 and 3 in the coming days!

Main thoughts: Character creation is very involved but really cool - its own game practically. Skills are very deep in a way that feels refreshing when compared to more stat-focused games. Combat has some fun, chaotic twists. Feels like a wide universe of possibility here so far.

I'll add Books 2 and 3 to this thread when I give them their own read-throughs. In the meantime, here's my newsletter (last two months have Mothership freebies): https://meatcastle.substack.com

And here's my website (with links to my games and modules and all that good stuff): https://shop.meatcastlegameware.com/

Thanks for reading!

#traveller #ttrpg #rpg #science fiction #scifi #long post #read through #ttrpgs #roleplaying #roleplaying games #tabletop #classic

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bitwynn · 1 year

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I have never watched yugioh but ive gained enough knowledge from pop culture osmosis to bullshit something out so-- SAGAU but the reader is a huge Yugioh/trading card game nerd

Even though the skills theyve learned from playing Yugioh and other such TCGs dont precisely translate, their skills in building a deck is UNMATCHED. And their skill in execution of their deck is also insane.

I remember that when i was watching a Drawfee stream or vid or something, Karina, Drawfees resident anime and Yugioh expert kept talking about these builds and decks of cards that would instantly just one shot literally anyone and everyone and i can see it so much. I imagine that before they get isekaied into genshin, they play a lot of rounds of matches against the cpu and the characters all around but thanks to their deck building, everyone is just decimated to the point that the only time they ever co-op in genshin is to either visit friends, farm for materials, or play Genius

I also imagine that they make just-- these INSANE meme decks that SOMEHOW FUCKING WORK?? Like Pokemon deck where you constantly spawn summons like Oz, Gouba, the fUCKING WATER SHITS FROM OCEANID, and so on.

Ofc, they still play the main game but they have spent... a LITTLE too much time playing Genius.

Okay onto the SAGAU part.

Since the world of Teyvat doesn't take card games and the like as seriously as we do (i mean cmon-- theres been news of certain cards and decks being banned in Magic: The Gathering tournaments and Yugioh tournaments with tons of security for calming down raging dedicated card game players for both events), i feel like its gonna HIT THEM LIKE A BRICK how utterly outclassed they are when they play against them.

Because theyre expecting like "oh, the Overseer/Creator/(insert whatever you wanna call urself here) is inviting me to a simple game of cards! This shall be a pleasant and calm afternoon in the Cat's Tail with them!! :))" but then in reality, you just called them over to see how good the "ai" is and to increase the diversity of your cards so you can make more decks. Meaning, they proceed to systematically destroy each and every character, POSSIBLY EVEN with a deck personalized to beating that characters deck into the ground. Card game culture is different here and there AHAHA

God i imagine that, since apparently Cyno is the best player of TCG, after losing you might just get so many pings of Cyno wanting a rematch. Or like, as your reputation in the game circles grows, he might just sneak into Cat's Tail and sit in on one of your matches to see what hes dealing with. Let me tell you, he is going to be stunned and is probably trying to formulate his deck against whatever deck you had on hand that round. And then he peeks into Cat's Tail again and HAH lol, diff deck for diff person. And he just starts making another fUCKING DECK--

When yall finally face off, its literally just This scene. Cyno still loses by a landslide but you had to get a little serious there.

God when you finally get isekaied, have fun integrating our worlds card game culture into theirs AHAHA-- also Cyno Will Be Asking For Rematches Everyday. Have fun making cringey Yugioh and card game references with him AHAHA

I know jack shit abt Yugioh and i used to play some TCGs but that was a long time ago, so if youre actually much more well versed in the subject-- FEEL FREE TO TAKE MY IDEA AND RUN AHAHAHA

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin impact sagau #genshin self aware #genshin impact self aware #genshin impact au #genshin tcg #genshin genius invokation #genshin genius invokation tcg

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unexpectedbrickattack · 6 months

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Ngl I'm kind of dillydallying around my own SDV fixation and i'd KILL to see what your brain is doing to this game like i for one would eat up dat stuff UP . . .

I love the way this is phrased; genuinely 😭💖 like im a force of nature tearing through any new interest like its made of wet tissue paper 💥💥💥

I thought about it some more and i will (eventually) make an sdv blog. Its going to be a mess having all my interests on one dashboard (im lazy and i dont want to sign in and out all the time for diff accounts lol) but i need sdv stuff in sight or ill explode. For now tho i will ramble about random hcs rattling around in my brain

- The valley is FULL of magic, but not alot of Magical Beings that utilize that magic. If the residents of pelican town knew more about magic, there would be alot more wizards than just. The Wizard.

- Everyone in pelican town has some kind of latent magic, or at the very least, an affinity or sensitivity to magic. I like to think that magic builds in very secluded corners of their world and the area including (and surrounding) pelican town is simply one of those places.

-(sorry, i am just obsessed with Places and Magic) I like the idea of your farmer being drawn to pelican town bc they have a bit of magic in them. The letter is just A Letter, but it is the desire to see this town that makes them leave their old life behind. I am obsessed w the idea that the magic in the farmer craves the valley bc it sees the valley as its home, and by extension, the farmer sees the valley as their home. The people of pelican town rarely leave bc the magic in them sees the valley as their home always. The biggest examples of this are Kent, Demetrius, Evelyn, Emily and Shane. The huge exceptions to this (still workin on it) are lewis and sebastian; lewis bc i see him as a normal, non-magical being trying to wrangle the weirdness of this town, and sebastian bc his feelings of isolation and not being understood propels him to crave the world outside of the valley. (That changes a bit if u befriend him/romance him)

-(shane is weird bc hes super depressed and lonely but his happiness comes from his new ‘ragtag family’ (his words) and his very Not Normal chickens. The animals of the valley love him bc he loves them and he becomes tied to the valley bc of it. Marnie has always loved the animals of the valley and some of the love they had for her definitely rubbed off onto shane, who very openly admits he loves the chickens 💙)

-I wasnt very fond of the idea of purple=magic but i think that was bc i often saw it as a way to tie-in the wizard and abigail. I am still trying to get through the friendships for everyone but rn it doesnt feel like theres any connection between them (and caroline). But. I do like the idea of odd, unnatural colors coming through bc of magic. Alex and Pierre having normal brown hair; Haley and Sam being true blondes. BUT. Shane and Jas having purple-ish hair. Emily and Caroline have blue toned hair. Even vincent have pinkish hair 🥺💖 (and dare i say….sebastian with purple/black hair like shane 👀…maybe he has more magic in him than hed like to believe). Abigail doesnt count bc from what ive seen, Caroline laments about her daughters dyed hair. “When she was younger it used to be chestnut brown” which…awww she took after her dad lol.

- LAST THING. This is not an hc i am just mad about this. I cannot believe the game doesnt allow u to befriend Marlon. What the fuck. What the fuck !!! I love him!!! I want to be friends w the chill monster slayer! Im a monster slayer too!!! Let me give him gifts !!! Fuck ! 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥 Also. I know how to write old man yaoi. They shouldve let me do a romance path for willy, clint and marlon. And the wizard i guess but someone already did that. Linus doesnt count bc hes ascended the need for human romance; hes one w nature (read. aroace). And we (linus and willy and the farmer) already co-raise leo so that counts for something i think 🤔

#answered #chattin #sdv #sorry that 80% of this was about the fucking Town #but i am obsessed w Places that Feel #Magic that Feels #wants and craves and breathes with emotion #you come to the valley bc the magic in you misses home #the valley calls for you bc she misses you #not just the magic but the person who has kept this magic safe and warm #the valley knows when to let go. but it also knows when to reach out and bring you back #everyones got little tethers on them. she wonders what everyone is up to #the farmer wants something beyond this desk and she gives a little tug #she hums along the tether to kent and its funny; she doesnt need to pull at all; he comes back as soon as hes able #sebastian wants to see whats out there; find his purpose; and she unravels the tether as much as he needs it to be #anyway hi. welcome to my destroyed whirlwind room of a brain #this doesnt scratch like. the wildlife of the valley. the magic in the farm and crops. the seasons #the moonlight jellies (and how u can see them in fern island sometimes)#lewis and his many many crimes (read. he is wack and i hate him)#the emily/shane friends w benefits agenda i have going on (and harvey/elliot ship that i love so dearly)#and the jodi/kent/caroline polycule u didnt think u needed until i said it just now #i have like. too many thots. its literally consuming brain. i fall asleep thinking of this fucking game #and the version of it that exists in my head rentfree LMAO

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ineffabeatlemindpalace · 2 months

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How Our Flag Means Death impacted my life

It’s been said so many times but the impact this to show has had on me is beyond comprehension. I am still living in the aftermath. Every day, I cannot grasp my luck of finding it and loving it. Hyperfixation or not, it’s been a while so I conclude it is safe to be put as a special interest by now; to care so much about something that makes you feel good and understood, is utterly important to have, I have realised.

My experiences in other, different, fandoms on Twitter as a teenager, have been very different and I guess it has something to do with growing up and learning more about yourself as much as it has to do without approach and handling of it all – we are all here for this show and we are damn grateful for its existence. We do not take it for granted and so we lovingly create more art and thereby put more love into the world. Isn’t this what life is all about? Adding care and love.

Coming back to my point, ever since starting to watch Our Flag Means Death, I have had this inner sense of calm inside of me, which I never had before.

It is hard to explain but I did notice that my sensory issues, especially misophonia, have been less of a problem. And that is huge. There is one noise source in particular, which is the fridge, if you want to know, but it can be triggered by anything, and I have been struggling with this for many years… There only has to be some trigger, such as the wind howling too strongly or any other sound, really, and I feel like the world is going to collapse because every thing gets too loud and too much.

Now, for a few months, it hasn’t been like that. It was almost scary at first due to the unfamiliarity of the absence of, well, mental pain…

Regarding the show’s successful portrayal of queerness – yes, that has been life–changing for me as well.

I have identified as nonbinary as long as I can think. I vividly remember this specific moment from my childhood when I was sitting there, on my own, thinking, I do not feel like a girl, I do not feel like any gender, I just feel like myself. It’s a strange memory to have but it was so vivid that I treasure how it stuck with me.

When I was a teenager, I never had any romantic, God forbid sexual, interest, except for the occasional crush on a boy or girl, which naturally made me conclude that I was bi or pan. As of today, I am still not feeling any of these attractions. However, as I explain in this post, some kind of attractions have been felt. One thing is clear, if I do feel anything beyond, it would be for any gender.

The show basically says, whatever, we’re all queer, and that is so beautiful and validating to me because my family and other surroundings are so heteronormative that I often question my validity and worth.

There have barely ever been other queer people in my immediate surroundings, which means that acceptance or even understanding is not something that I would expect.

In hindsight, this is a big part of why I always struggled with confidence and self-love.

There is a lot I could write about my family history but I will just shorten it to, I did grow up without a father from the age of 7 and my relationship with him is rather torn.

I am so moved by how they decided to give Ed and Stede these backstories regarding their relationship with their fathers and families and portray these issues in such a delicate and serious manner and how they can impact your whole life.

I am thankful for how serious they have taken all of these things.

These are characters that have experienced similar difficult upbringings and are struggling with the consequences into their adulthood.

I have never gotten an official diagnosis but from my childhood experiences and later struggles in life it is safe to say that I am neurodivergent. The relationship with my mother is very difficult as well, which definitely played a part in how I never understood that some of my behaviour and so on was a result of being different in that way instead of deliberate. During my childhood and teenage years, there have been instances of different kinds of abuse, however I will not elaborate further.

These struggles are always individual and personal but I will just say that I do suffer from the fear of being abandoned and yes, it makes maintaining relationships, such as friendships, challenging.

Because you constantly feel like you do not deserve anyone caring about you or enjoying your company. Genuinely, I have never believed this.

Even if I have learned to like myself more and be confident in my abilities. I still feel like a burden whenever I am with someone else. It doesn’t go away. Part of it is due to struggling with social cues as well as the general preference of being alone.

And I do enjoy my own company. But it would be nice to one day find someone I can fully trust and freely share my thoughts with.

Basically, what Ed and Stede have found in each other… and I guess what makes them so different to other ships is not only that they are actually a canon couple but the way they are so natural and gentle with each other?!

They accept each other wholeheartedly.

They see each other in such a genuine way… unconditionally. Not without hardships but always with such a willingness to make it better, to keep fighting, continue to live for the sake of love and love only.

Another serious struggle has been my eating disorder (anorexia) which (along with overexercising) lead me to have secondary amenorrhea for many years, which in turn, was a very blissful thing for me due to gender reasons. A big thing that has happened shortly after discovering the show has been my period coming back. My reaction was denial, then anger, then determination that I would not let this bring me down…

The show did ground me in that emotionally, I have handled it, somehow, and carried on.

I am so thankful for it all and much, much more.

There is so much to say and never enough words to express my gratitude. This show means something different to everyone. Everyone finds bits and pieces in it which make them feel the same kind of appreciation and love and this is just my share.

If you’ve made it to the end, thank you, dear reader. Sending you a warm hug, if that’s alright with you.

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whalesforhands · 9 months

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i want to say so many things abt stsg & mc in dyf au so bad omg. i feel like their characters aren’t getting across and i don’t feel like talking in fic writing language i just want to vomit everything out

and also bcs nobody talks to me in asks :(

dyf IS an alternative universe where gojo and geto get together late first year/early second year if you haven’t already noticed.

i headcanon it would be around christmas when it’s so called ‘official’

it’s just?? kind of decided unanimously one day that they get together since they get each other so well? unsaid lovers kinda thing

dyf!mc actually assumed they were already dating during the start of the first year. its definitely love at first sight when they butt heads as often as they do right? she swears that ppl with that type of relationship either end up in a grave or in bed together

i’ve said this before but stsg’s relationship is something i view as far more than friendship or just a romance. there is this… unsaid understanding between them despite their differences. i imagine them as mirror images of the other, two halves of a whole, soulmates ykwim

everyone thinks gojo is the horny one, but it’s geto x190%

when do all 3 get together? officially, not yet. third year aus are typically them teetering ON romantic relationship, but definitely holds no water yet. but there is an increase in skinship that dyf mc had settled comfortably into and thinks it’s perfectly normal.

i mean, she does that with shoko right?? what’s the diff if she does it with these 2 that she loves just as much (and may or may not have a crush on)

anyway, back to dyf mc

i don’t know if it’s super obvious to everyone yet, but dyf mc definitely has some degree of social anxiety and depression, explaining the way she pulls back and gets lost in her thoughts instead to feel safe

she understands what she feels, but it’s very very overwhelming u get?

mc is also shown to be sensitive to cursed energy if u also didn’t notice loll,,,, to the point she can pinpoint the 3. or is it just because she has trained herself to feel for their specific auras hmmm??

anyway. since stsg are ‘dating’, she does try very hard to suppress anything romantic she tends to feel, and WILL convince herself that lITERALLY anything they try on her is STRICTLY PLATONIC bcs she just can’t believe these 2 will ever like her in THAT manner yk

and shoko? shoko is single. shoko is pretty. shoko is flirting with her. but since stsg treat her LIKE THAT, she thinks this is what happens when you’re getting close to others right?

she likes it a lot. she hopes they continue to stay close to her. (LMAO DENSE ASF)

tbh i didn’t intend for shoko to be so involved with mc. i wrote it that way bcs i had an equally huge crush on her and it just integrated itself naturally into my writing LOL

also, the smut threesome fics were all practice fics lolllll. i’ve never written threesomes in my life and they were my first cracks at it

something special for getting all the way here bcs im just rambling haha. i’m trying to get ppl to interact with me i’m so sad and lonely writing all by myself

in the bully! satosugu au

gojo and mc were actually childhood friends! imagine that. growing up in the neighbourhood with that spoilt, but kind little white-haired brat but him moving away soon after

only to see him again when you’re way, way older!and that other black-haired guy that he seems to be super close with. you’re gonna be friends again, right?

and he’s never been so excited to see you! he’s so much taller now and his arms are so strong, so different from the weak chubby flab of the child him that you thought was adorable, so you’d always ask your mom for extra snacks to eat together!

but now he’s literally picking you up, your feet barely touching the ground as he holds you so so so tightly, as if afraid you’d disappear

it’s nice catching up with him, sitting with him and a close friend of his, geto suguru at lunch, following them to the convenience store after school to get a quick snack

only for him to ignore you the next week when you bound up to him smiling, greeting him with excited cheer. he quirks a brow at you, shoving you out of the way before walking away…

what… did you do wrong? what’s wrong with him?

#dyf au #nvytalks #cyh au

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destinyc1020 · 2 months

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sorry destiny, i am huge tom fan believe me, but i agree with what the anon said, i understand that u can like a movie that others dont thats not what i am saying but out of the MCU and throw in uncharted, tom's acting skills aside because we both hes fantastic, his projects have been misses, in terms of overall quality, reviews & numbers, TDATT, CW, Cherry, TCR. yes u may have liked some of them but numbers were bad, in a sense they flopped. most of these projects he chose when he was still pretty young and green and the only project he chose post covid was i think TCR and it was amazing but people weren't patient and it was slow at first. and i think since then he has grown a lot more and u can tell, its obvious the way he views things and the way hes picking his projects are diff now so hopefully things go well for him in the future in terms of success outside popcorn movies.

I mean, we can all have different viewpoints on films or actors, and that's fine! 🤷🏾‍♀️ I don't think anyone doubts that Tom is talented.

I understand some fans haven't enjoyed his projects in the past several years. I know for me personally, I've enjoyed 90% of Tom's films....whether they were successes at the box office or NOT. Most of his work I didn't even see in theaters. I saw at home.

The only films of Tom that I've actually seen in theaters are The MCU films (of course), The Current War, The Impossible (before I even knew who Tom Holland was lol), Uncharted (of course lol), and Spies in Disguise! Everything else of his, I've seen at home.

RE: TCR....

I actually enjoyed TCR, but if I had one critique, I would say that Akiva took a little TOO long to get to the point and kind of treated us as viewers like we were too dumb to get the "twist". Most of us knew or got the twist w/in the first episode lol. He really could have spent more time focusing on other things imo. Don't get me wrong, I actually think Akiva had a very ingenious, sympathetic, and creative way of showing what's actually going on when someone suffers from DID (and why they may end up having it), and it was done in a way I'd personally never seen done onscreen before. But I just feel like he should have given us as the audience a little more credit. We could have known from the very beginning that he suffered from DID, but maybe not know who exactly his alters actually were. There were many things that could have been done differently. And I think some of the critics purposely gave TCR LOW reviews to spite Akiva, because apparently he didn't even want DID or "multiple personalities" to be written in any of the early reviews coming out for the series, in order to preserve the "twist". But umm.... Everyone saw it coming a mile away bro lol 😅

So...I really think his tactic of trying to keep the audience in the dark felt a bit laborious after a while, and it's like, "WE GET IT man... we've already figured it out!" We didn't need several episodes prolonging things. But hey, I still enjoyed TCR Summer last year lol, and it was very enjoyable to watch Tom in a series (for a change) every single week! 😊

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leqclerc · 3 months

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glad some people are actually taking this lewis' move to ferrari in serious perspective, because when the tifosi hype has died down in which way this situation favours both of them, (if like me you're a fan of both, and i've seen many being over the moon happy about it)

Both drivers deserve the priority treatment, Lewis because it's him, the man has not stop fighting ever since he stepped into a f1 car and Charles because he picked up all the pieces of this team and put them back together by himself. They're both great racers, Charles has no rival in quali and while his race craft has improved massively and it's great to me Lewis still has the edge there, but they're probably on a similar level, so you can't base who's your main focus. So what Ferrari should do in a situation where the car is a good one and both drivers have a good feel for it; it's stupid asking to lean one or the other way without hurting the other guy, who (as a fan) wants this truly? I'd pay good money for them having a go at eachothers (in diff teams because you'll get a real fight, a fair one)

Also people speculating this is Lewis' path to retirement, and why should he make the move of the century of his own volition just to retire? Be serious. If he wanted to hang his helmet he would have stayed at merc, comfortable with his own people. A move to Ferrari is not like a move to any other team, this one comes with a lot of baggage and weight to it, it's not your last stop; the man wants a new chance to fight and he saw something in the scuderia. And why shouldn't Ferrari get that 8th with Lewis, biggest achievement in f1 history, why shouldn't them make Lewis their king?

Then you have Charles, the teams owes him a lot, he just signed a nobody knows how many years life contract with his dream team despite them fucking up on every side, he stays and against all odds grew up to be one hell of a driver, highly regarded by everyone in the paddock. He got one taste at a championship winning car and he was running circle around everyone, than Ferrari took it away. We got rid of Binotto, we got rid of the real spanish plague, we said this one is our guy. Ferrari should give this boy a car!

So tell me who in their right mind see this as a good situation in 2025, if you like both it's a lose lose one, but even from an external eye tbh, that's a ticking bomb

Hi!

You're right, it's tough. Obviously the hype is in its zenith right now, this is a huge move, everyone's discussing it and picking it apart, etc. But ah, I just. Putting two guys together who have proven to be very hungry and who very obviously gave their own goals and ambitions is...playing with fire. It could be great, it could be the best thing Ferrari's ever seen. But also, this is why when all those discussions of "oh I'd love to see [peak] Seb paired with Lewis at Mercedes/Ferrari" or "put Max and Lewis into one team so we can 'settle' this once and for all" sprung up, the conclusion was generally that they're great where they are, putting them together will be potentially disastrous.

If Lewis left Mercedes, a team he's been with for 11 years (!!!!!) for Ferrari in this way (strange atmosphere, must've been dissatisfied/unfulfilled in some way, rumours of a falling out) then clearly he must've seen something enticing in Ferrari. I have to say I think this is his last hurrah, the last team he will compete with in his F1 career, which is why it's this team of all teams. But even though his career is likely coming to a close, you can't discredit him, you can't just assume he'll be happy for the team to maybe potentially win a WCC in his time. Lewis winning an eight with Ferrari would be seismic and I think they both realize that. If Ferrari truly has championship potential in the near future, no way he's not going to go for it. Even the fan/journalist response... it's all about The Eighth In Red now, that's all people want to see. But equally, this is everything Charles has worked towards his entire life, he's not going to give up on that without a fight either. And that has the potential to get really messy.

It's just so weird, every time you think "okay this is it, they're throwing their weight behind Charles 100% now" they do something that is just so ??????????????? Idk feels like no matter the outcome someone's not going to get what they want out of this. It's just, again, Charles has way more to lose in all of this. Lewis has had a very successful, well-rounded career, whether he achieves success with Ferrari or not. It's like the cherry on the cake, but the cake has seven layers already and I'm sure it tastes damn good. Objectively it's a very intriguing move—I just kind of wish it wasn't happening during Charles's prime time at the team, basically.

#replies #anonymous #discussions and predictions #again like i almost wish i had the rose-tinted 'love and support both' glasses on but unfortunately!!!#unfortunately i am invested in charles's career and um. Concerns. they exist #long post

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j-ellyfish · 5 months

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Diff anon, but idk how much the publishers are worried about controversy considering Hetalia is famous for being WW2 parody and I assume having Taiwan as a country made the Chinese censors throw a fit.

My personal theory is that I think they wanted him to try to pad things with more dialogue and arcs. It feels like older Hetalia was a lot more snappy and quick to the punchline almost like a 4-koma while modern ones feel like they drag on for some pages.

Idk what would you consider the biggest differences between Hetalia then vs now?

Same, I think it's more about Shonen Jump's guidelines than it is about fear of getting cancelled. I mean, you already took your decision on the stance of possibly getting cancelled by hiring Hima 😅 Plus this is not really as much of an issue in Japan as it is in the West, afaik.

You're absolutely right, I didn't really think about it but it makes a huge difference! Hetalia used to have a quick, snappy humor that definitely benefits from the yonkoma format and doesn't really translate well in 'typical' manga page format. Surely, there were manga-like arcs during the Gentosha times too (The War of Austrian Succession and the Seven Weeks' War for instance), but they still weren't as verbose as HWS and I feel like they were a lot more character-driven.

Thinking about it, I believe another difference is that HWS is getting overly focused on trivia itself at the expenses of real character exploration and depth. Early HWS was still on a middle ground, but now? How long has it been since something like Davie, the Jeanne D'Arc story or Though I May Depart, You Shall Remain? Or, on a lighter note, something like the Buon San Valentino strips or the April Fool's Event (the one where they dress silly)? All these stories have a very important thing in common: they explore the characters' depth and/or lore in a way that is specific to Hetalia characters' experience and not the mere visualization of trivia and informations. A big thing Hetalia has in it, which is in my opinion perhaps the aspect that plays the biggest role in its success, is that the characters aren't mere embodiments of a geopolitical, cultural and historical concept, they are also people of their own. A Hetalia character can and will act in a way that seems occasionally counter-intuitive if we treat them as simply mere stereotypes, because they aren't just that, they also have a human side of their own. This makes the character three-dimensional and deep, even despite the snappy, quick comedy and generally light-hearted tone of the work. Their reaction to things is not necessarily a 1:1 of what happened irl, because their personality is also personal and not a mere addition of historically accurate facts.

Something like those Brexit parts where the characters act out as a visual representation of the results of an irl poll, feels a bit off ... Because it lowkey feels like that irl poll took precedence over the characters' personality and lore, or at least over their genuine reaction. Now, I'm not saying that Brexit arc was 100% garbage, it wasn't and some reactions were definitely fitting, but overall the way it was played out is telling of HWS's verbose and overly trivia-oriented nature. Other strips like the recent one where several characters come to Romano's place for a work meeting feel like an attempt at something more character-oriented, but it still didn't get enough time to be fleshed out properly, imo ... It's hard to make it work when you: 1. Aren't allowed 4-koma format, where you shine; 2. Aren't allowed raw, random and occasionally sexual humor; 3. Aren't (I suspect) allowed to expand on a story for how many chapters as you please. Perhaps HWS strips tend to convey an overly planned out vibe, they often lose the genuine and random feel most older ones have.

Things like that, big reunions set in current days where the characters just do random stuff, was usually the format of Hima's blog events, like for instance the HetaWeen 2011 Event (the one that was turned into the 15-minures OVA) ... But in that case he got to decide pretty much anything about them, since it was his personal blog. How long he pleased, how many characters he pleased, anything. I highly doubt he is granted as much freedom by his editor, and as a consequence those strips come off as trying to do something but ending up being extinguished before time and watered down by overly safe and padded dynamics and circumstances.

I don't want to come off as if I hate HWS, there are also strips I like that belong to it, but overall it has a direction I am not happy with and sometimes reading through all the notes and trivia feels like a chore. I never felt like that pre-HWS and no, it's not that I am getting tired of Hetalia because I still drink up the trivia stuff on older strips like iced tea on a thirsty Summer afternoon.

#this is just how I feel that's all 🙈#hetalia #ask #ary spoke #I may be wrong or I may be right but regardless I'm not judging anyone's opinion or tastes #like I'm not trying to infere people shouldn't like hws or anything it's just how I feel

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shameboree · 2 years

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Could you tell us more about your bad vives AU? I love your art btw <3

okay id like to preface with a lot of it is VIBES which means if smth doesnt make sense i need everyone to suspend the FUCK out of their disbelief dont question me we are here for a GOOD TIME and a GOOD TIME ONLY. here are some bullet points largely summing up things ive already drawn!!!! pls note my fav kind of Time Stuff is bullshit miserable groundhog day style time loops

-chat blanc gets the bunny miraculous we dont ask questions about this

-he SLINKS ARND IN THE SHADOWS of paris for a while and it builds up marinettes paranoia bc shes TOTALLY 100% SEEN CHAT NOIR and knows that absolutely he isnt akumatized so she gaslights herself into thinking she hasnt caught random glimpses of chat blanc BUT ALSO spirals into a state of FULL BLOWN constant fight or flight response and wont sleep so that shes not vulnerable

-blah blah chat blanc drops in on her while adrien is arnd entirely bc i really wanted to draw that thing of adrien doing the Mom Arm when the car stops too fast bc this whole sitch is just a violent messy WRECK. anyway chat blancs whole attitude is like hewwo my love <:3c im here to give us a super romantic ending <:3c and marinettes response to everything is just like. okay cool, i am going to puke now!! meanwhile adriens just like what the FUCK is happening here

-anyway. more cat n mouse games. ANYWAY. at some point its lb vs cb but chat blanc is just having a great week and WINNING so gets her earrings or smth who cares and successfully romeo and juliets himself n marinette yandere style. a VERY ROMANTIC ENDING bc nothing was ever gonna fix things OBVI so ofc they have to just die in each others arms 💖

-YES adrien experiences massive manpain NO i dont care anyones opinion on it bc i love to see the kids cry. OBVI he is catastropically devastated and NO there is no identity reveal hes just deeply and viciously torn tf UP over marinette getting dead and also feeling completely helpless AND ALSO ALSO like hes the one to blame <:3

-everyone is so catatonic in the wake of No More Marinette that even adrien doesnt notice ladybug hasnt been arnd since

-idk. timeloop shit. adriens stuck in a cycle of the night before (V HARD TO GET A HEAD START IN SUCH A SHORT TIMEFRAME!!) day of, n day after (so no matter what he always has to reexperience the aftermath hehe). i am actually not a huge fan of when longer timespan loops get past mid teens (ESP when it gets to TRIPLE DIGITS???!) bc it feels like it cheapens the experience and also acute stress is sexier than chronic SO ANYWAY. eventually he will obviously succeed in brking the loop and keeping marinette frm dying. good for him.

-every loop is a little different bc every loop marinette CANT PUT HER FINGER ON IT but she knows something is Not Right, which chat blanc is ALSO feelin, so every time they react or do smth diff which means adrien is constantly having to deal w CHANGING VARIABLES !! hes having a bad time. marinette is having a bad time. chat blanc is having a very good time

-final actual confrontation or whatever is pure marichat (DOUBLETEAM. MARI IS AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT EVEN AS A CIVILIAN. YOU GO BABY!!). ive only drawn adrinette moment but the whole thing is very marichat bc im PREDICTABLE!! anyway no lb bc marinette freaks out cb is gonna take her earrings or cataclysm them so she just straight up swallows em. good job baby.

-THE END BABY!! epilogue reveal EVENTUALLY but for quite some time after they are both quietly carrying the weight of their secret traumas alone w neither of them having a full picture of the situation but not knowing it. what a good time :)

i think this looks v adrien focused but they are all having their separate little stories here and its largely marinette feeling isolated and small for all her mistakes, and chat blanc feels like the worst possible one she has or could ever make so she cant consider asking anyone, let alone CHAT NOIR HIMSELF!! to help her, which just makes everything 100000x harder. by the end of the STORY PROPER she accepts she can trust herself in chat noirs hands but shes still too scared to put her full weight on him bc she doesnt wanna FUCK UP. meanwhile adrien wont say shit to her abt it bc he doesnt wanna burden her w his SECRETS also hes drownin in guilt. also eventual identity reveal changes nothing for him in terms of grief bc he already felt like he died every time marinette did except worse bc he had to just keep living anyway :) but now also hes afraid of an identity reveal for probably obvious reasons. and then beloved CHAT BLANC man of the HOUR switched gears frm wanting to Fix things to wanting to destroy things bc hes a fucking yandere wifeguy OKAY. he knows he is forever RUINED for love of marinette and since he cant have her future is instead entirely focused on making sure he has all of her end <:3c

dw the kids are gonna be OKAY. they are insane and the power of LOVE will help pull them thru, theyre just going to be incredibly clingy for the rest of their LIVES

i love to draw very cutesy w soft and warm palettes and then have the Content be batshit miserable badtimes. i also like to draw a lot of goofy moments btwn and during the Traumas bc i love to be a dumbass

THIS ENDED UP SO LONG SORRY EVERYONE!!! please enjoy my unhinged misery porn 😊💖

#kels talks #BAD VIBES THE AU #eternal shoutout to ladybeug for encouraging and enabling me w this au

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