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hongjoongscafe · 2 years

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Blind Beauty

{one}{two}{three}

Pairing: blind!hongjoong×insecure!reader(grace)

Genre: fluff, angst, implied smut, nudity

Summary: only the mind's eye can see the true beauty.

Warnings: none for this part.

Word count: 8.5k+

Masterpost

*DO NOT REPOST, PLZ*

Love is blind, but when we close our eyes, we see with our hearts.

~ Sara Bareilles.

~~~

Saturday morning was pretty busy for Grace. She spent time making sure everything was alright. She took the cushions, removed the seats of the couch, and let them sit under the sun out on the airy balcony. She double-cleaned every single thing.

Yunho was sitting on the dining table chair. He observed Grace. His heart fluttered seeing she was putting so much effort to make the surroundings comfortable for Hongjoong. He almost laughed when he saw her bringing a brand new fluffy cushion out of the dryer, along with new cushion covers for other cushions. He swears he saw a furry white cover, different from others, in the pile in her hands.

"You do know that Hongjoong is blind, right?" Yunho questioned

"Yeah...?"

"So why are putting in so much effort? He won't see it," he reasoned.

"Yeah, but he can feel it," Grace made a 'duh' face.

He observed her a bit more before speaking again.

"Grace?"

"What now?"

"I'm happy for you." She looked at him with confusion. "I have never seen you this happy in years. I hope this works for you."

"I am always happy... What do you mean?" She mumbled.

"Grace, honey, drop the act. Oky? I have seen you struggle. I have seen you crying your eyes out. You don't need to pretend to be someone you are not. Okay?" He walked close to her. "Be real with yourself and me too..." He kissed her forehead and hugged her.

"I feel different when with him," she said.

"I hope it's a good one?" She nodded with a smile. "Alright then! You continue with your cushion madness, I'll go and grab some snacks and decide the menu for dinner," Yunho said and let go of her. She wiped her teary eyes and chuckled.

"Okay. But order food from a good restaurant." Yunho gave her a thumbs up and left.

Grace was standing where he left her. She was again lost in her thoughts. Yunho is right. And she knows it, there was no denying it. Although, she did live in denial. Her life was okay until the game of dating started. Every girl has always dreamed of a prince. Someone who would love them regardless of their flaws. Every little girl has dreamed of a happy ending. Where the prince keeps his princess happy forever. But it's not always like that. Not all girls find a man or prince who would keep them happy or secure. Some men dare to turn a happy and secure girl into an unhappy insecure girl, just like Grace herself.

She was a happy girl. Always filled with energy, ready to face the world with her weird humor. Always smiling. She was in love with herself. Always had confidence in herself and her looks. But it all changed after she started dating. Maybe she was not meant to date at all. Maybe she was meant to be alone. If there is a thing like fate, then she is not in its good sight.

Yuho, she was grateful that he was her best friend. He has been there with her whenever she fell. He was there to treat her wounds. But wasn't able to heal those scars. Not that she minded. It wasn't his job to do that. She had to heal those herself. Was it that easy? Like, just out of nowhere, they will heal themselves? The answer was a big No. Those are tough scars. They won't heal that easily.

Healing takes time.

More than one can estimate.

~~~

"Your apartment smells different, " Yeosang noticed.

"The cushion covers are different," wooyoung noticed.

"The couch seats are more fluffed and soft," Jongho noticed.

"The rug is well vacuumed," San noticed.

"Grace is glowing," Sofia noticed.

"House looks warmer," Maya noticed.

"There is a cute cushion as well," Mingi noticed.

These are Yunho and Grace's circle of friends. Most of them have been friends since they were in kindergarten. Mingi came along in middle school. Maya and Jongho became part of the group in college. Yunho and Grace were the oldest friends. They were together even before their birth. Their mothers would always talk about how their unborn children will become best friends. Well, that was a perfect assumption they had.

They all luckily started working in the same city. Their bond was stronger than ever. But for Grace, she was still alone. There was a huge void that needed to be filled. There were many things that her friends couldn't help with.

"Well, Ms. Grace, care to enlighten us about these changes?" Sofia demanded.

"I wanted to a-add some things and clean p-properly," dammit voice.

"Really?" Maya raised her left eyebrow not buying her poor reason.

"Of course, why would I do all the cleaning otherwise," she sheepishly grinned.

"Exactly! Why would you do that?" Yeosang asked.

"Ah, stop guys. Leave her alone," Yunho mocked. "Let the girl be happy."

Grace glared at him and turned around to bring snacks and drinks for everyone. She was excited to see Hongjoong. At the same time, she was nervous about how her friends would react. Although Grace least cared about what they said, they were going to be happy in her happiness anyway. But still, the questions and opinions related to this were quite prominent.

"No, but seriously, why all this? I'm so damn sure that this much is not for Yunho and Mingi's engagement —" Sofia was cut off by the doorbell.

Grace quickly jogged towards the door to open. Seeing her excitement, All of her friends looked toward the door to see what was getting her excited.

She excitedly opened the door with a big smile and was greeted by Hongjoong and Seonghwa. They both looked so good. They weren't wearing something out of the ordinary but they looked handsome… especially Hongjoong. He was wearing a graphic t-shirt that was tucked loosely into his black skinny jeans, and combat shoes.

"Good evening, Grace!" Seonghwa pulled her out of her trance.

"Ah, good evening, Seonghwa and Hongjoong!" She greeted them with a blushing face. "Come on inside."

"Hello, Grace," Hongjoong shyly greeted.

"Hi," she blushed.

"Seriously, what the hell is going on!?" Sofia asked. "Who are they?" She whispered to Yunho. He shrugged and asked her to wait.

Grace brought them inside and made them sit. She pushed Jongho away to make Hongjoong sit where the new white fluffy cushion was.

Looking at Hongjoong's stick and distant eyes, they all figured out his uniqueness. They all look at Grace, many questions running through their mind. This party was supposed to be for close friends. Not that they minded but still the explanation was much needed.

"I know your horse minds are running far away but hold them for a minute," Grace said. "First, we introduce. So, these two are my new friends. This Seonghwa and this… Hongjoong," she said Hongjoong's name shyly.

Everyone in the room was able to grasp it. Grace's cheeks heated when she noticed what she did. But she cleared her throat to continue the introduction but Yunho's voice interrupted—

"This is him," Yunho smirked.

"Oh! So he is that guy who got our Grace whipped," Wooyoung clapped excitedly.

It was silent for a second. All the people in the room shifted their gazes toward Grace. It was making her nervous. She felt her body heating up. But for some reason, she wasn't afraid to talk about it. There was this feeling at the back of her mind that said that this was the right thing to do. Hongjoong felt so natural to her.

"A-ah…" she nervously chuckled. "I-It's nothing like that, Wooyoung," she sent him a glare.

"What!? Don't glare at me. I just know what we talked about that day when I visited you guys," Wooyoung pouted.

"We didn't talk about anything!" Grace's voice got higher in pitch.

"Ah, you are such a liar! I remember your exact words! They were like—

'Well, he looks around our age. He is so nice and sweet. I just wanted to spend more time with him. He was humble and our interests match…'" Wooyoung mimicked her. "Don't lie to us!"

Grace wanted to run away and hide. It was true that she said that but saying it in front of the man himself was embarrassing. She wanted to run away and hide somewhere no one could find her.

She stood there frozen, not knowing what to do. What if he didn't like her? What if he stops being your friend? What if he is uncomfortable!? No! She looked at Hongjoong with a horrified look on her face but it softened when she saw him. He was blushing and smiling, his face was deep red. He looked cute. His reaction gave her some hope. It made you feel like she could have him. And she wasn't going to give up.

Grace looked up at Yunho who was looking at Hongjoong too. His gaze shifted towards her and his smile widened. He nodded as reassurance. Yunho felt bad for saying it out loud but he knew he had to, otherwise, Grace would have never said a thing. He knew his friend was head over heels for this kind man sitting on the couch with the new cushion.

Seonghwa was so invested in this. He was happy that his best friend found someone. Now he knew his duty as well, to bring them together. Yunho made it easier for him. Seonghwa looked towards the said man and gave him a knowing smile. In return, Yunho winked.

"Ahem, then I would say that our Mr. Kim has been talking about a pretty lady with whom he went to the library and spent a handful of quality time," Hongjoong's eyes widened at Seonghwa's words. He could hear the smirk in his voice.

"A-ah," Hongjoong was at a loss of words.

"Ah! No! You better ask my girl out on a date, man," Maya said in the excitement of the moment that was being unfolded so shamelessly.

"Mhm, or you ask him out, asshole," Wooyoung exclaimed to Grace.

It made Hongjoong giggle. He wanted to ask her out but his disability left him insecure. He thought that Grace probably wanted someone perfect. Someone who could look at her beauty and appreciate it even more. He was unaware of the fact that he was the only person who appreciated her beauty even with her flaws. Although he was blind he accepted her immediately. It could have gone extremely wrong but he 'trusted' her.

"Grace?" Hongjoong's sweet voice echoed. He extended his hand for Grace to take, and she happily did. He stood up facing her and smiled softly. "I don't know if you actually want to but… would you like to go on a date with me?" He asked nervously.

Grace was emotional. It felt like he was proposing to her and not just asking for just a mere date. It was her first time feeling so important. After many failed relationships that were once "serious", it was refreshing. She wanted to live this feeling over and over again. The butterflies in her stomach and the uneven heartbeat in a pleasant way were all she could feel.

" Yes, Hongjoong. I will go on the date with you," Grace whispered.

"OH HELL YEAH!" Wooyoung and Sofia exclaimed while others were looking at them with heart eyes.

"Finally, your loner ass will date now," Mingi teased.

"Ah, that's not true," Grace playfully pouted and helped Hongjoong sit back.

"Now are we gonna introduce and begin our party?" Yeosang, who was enjoying the cheesy scene, spoke.

"Yes, so they are all my friends. You already met Yunho. So there's Mingi, San, Yeosang, Wooyoung, Jongho, Sofia, and Maya. Mingi is Yunho's now-fiancé," Grace acquainted them.

"It's nice to meet you all! And congratulations to both of you!" Seonghwa grinned.

"Yes, I hope we will get along. Also, I hope Yunho and Mingi, that you both live happily forever," Hongjoong shyly mentioned.

"Thank you, Seonghwa and Hongjoong. It means a lot to us," a heavy voice said. Hongjoong noted it as Mingi's since Yunho's were a little lighter.

"Ah, this is nice! Now we have more people in our group!" San said.

"Correct Sannie~ now come on, get your ass up and help me," Grace said. Hongjoong grasped onto the voice as San's. It was high-pitched. He could feel that the man was cat-like. But he couldn't be so sure for obvious reasons.

"Mingi, your sister didn't join today?" Maya asked.

"Ah Maya, she was busy. She will join us at the family dinner," Mingi replied.

'Maya,' Hongjoong noted. He figured out Sofia's and Wooyoung's voices already. Both were obnoxiously loud. Not that he complained.

"That's much better. Last time we couldn't even drink properly. She is like a little witch,"

"Jongho! She is my sister," Mingi pouted.

'Jongho… check,' Hongjoong mentally nodded.

"But she always does this. It's not like we drink all the time," a shy voice remarked.

'Ahh, this must be Yeosang…,' Hongjoong thought after listening to a shy voice. Seonghwa quietly giggled at Hongjoong's cute habit of memorizing people's voices.

"Yeosangie, you know Mingi loves his sister and won't listen to a word against her…" Sofia said. "Even though we know she is a mother-type friend," she teased.

"Leave her alone you all. It's alright. We should focus on Mingi and Yunho," Grace came back with more snacks and San was carrying some drinks.

"Yup, so how did you propose?" San asked.

Both Yunho and Mingi shyly looked at each other. They were an example of true love. There was nothing that they wanted in return, just pure love. At their lowest, they both stood with their lover. If one was the backbone the other was the blood of the relationship and together they formed a heart.

For a long time, everyone was worried about these two lovebirds. It was a bumpy ride but they held onto each other. They fought but came back running into each other's arms. Sometimes, Grace envied them. But she was happy. If her love life was crappy, she wanted her best friends to have the best… even if it left her alone sometimes.

"It wasn't something new," Yunho rubbed his nape. "I just took him to the carnival nearby and proposed to him there."

"It was the best!" Mingo exclaimed with excitement. "He proposed to me when we were on the Ferris wheel. We were at the top and then he gave me this really romantic speech and then he asked me to marry him and gave me this ring!" He showed off the ring. It was a ring band with a tiny diamond in it.

Everyone cooed at the couple. Their cheeks were burning red. They were perfect for each other. Always understood each other better than anybody. When one would not pick up the call, they would go nuts and call everybody around them to ask if the other is alright.

"You guys, you make me feel single," Wooyoung whined.

"What!? Why? I'm here. Do I love you enough!?" San spoke.

"Ah, but just look at them… you? You just sit there and play with that stinky cat of yours and do nothing," Wooyoung huffed.

"If you want to play… Daddy will play with you without any hesitation, baby boy," San smirked causing Wooyoung to choke on his drink.

"Eww," everyone groaned or gagged.

That's another beautiful couple. They clicked the moment they laid their eyes on one another. They have been together since day one. Grace still remembers that day when they were in kindergarten—

"Hewo, I Sannie~" the young San introduced. "Can me sit heah?" He asked in his high-pitched voice.

Young Wooyoung looked at the cat-like boy standing in front of his table where he was sitting with his friends. San's sharp eyes were so captive.

"Pwees. Heah. With mwe," Wooyoung patted the seat next to him where the cat man sat happily.

Although they started dating later after high school. Until then, they were scared to ruin their friendship. It all started with San overhearing Wooyoung when he was talking to Sofia about him being scared to tell San about his love and losing him. But that's when San stepped in and confessed his love to the loud man. San would be lying if he said he wasn't scared but after knowing that his Wooyoung loved him too, he didn't let the opportunity go away.

The songs were playing, drinks were being taken on loop and everyone was munching on the snacks. It was a nice environment. Grace was feeling nice to have her loved ones around her, even if it was for Yunho and Mingi. She felt like there were many people for her. To her surprise, everyone was chill about Hongjoong. They, so far, didn't do anything to make him feel like he didn't belong there. They asked him many questions and poured him many drinks and helped him get his favorite treats. She also figured that Hongjoong's taste in music was better than anyone.

Grace found Hongjoong standing in the corner near the slightly opened window. She came closer to him.

"Hongjoong? Are you alright?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah! It was getting hot in here so I wanted to take some air. I figured this is a window," he replied.

"Ah, you could have opened it properly. It does get hot in here when there are these monkeys around," they chuckled. Grace opened the whole window and helped him outside. The cool night breeze kissed their faces. The summer nights like this were Grace's and Hongjoong's favorite.

"Yeah, this is so nice," Hongjoong smiled.

"Mhm," Grace looked at him, his face reflecting moonlight. He was flawless. There was not a single tension line on his face or dark circles under his eyes. His face was crystal clear and glowy. She was sure that the moon was jealous of his beauty.

"If you don't want to go on the date, I understand," Hongjoong's features turned into sad ones while saying this. "There are many wonderful men out there who are perfect and… and are fully functioned."

Grace took her time to process his words. She totally underestimated Hongjoong's feelings. Of course, he was insecure about his uniqueness. But it was hard for Grace to make him understand that for her, he is the most perfect man. Because one with the eyes snatched her happiness and made her insecure about her own body.

"Oh, hush. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to go on a date with you… And don't say that they are fully functioning. They might have the light of eyes but the light of a rational brain is fused… I think you are better than them in all aspects… I feel like we have hope…" she shyly confessed.

Hongjoongs eyes got teary. He remembered the librarian's words. He understood where Grace was coming from. They were similar in many ways.

"Mhm," he nodded, not trusting his voice. In the darkness of his eyes, he felt the light of togetherness.

They stood there for a long time and enjoyed the comfortable silence. The nice cool breeze and each other's warmth were keeping them occupied. The times when they were together, the weather seemed to be nice and romantic.

~~~

-Hongjoong's standpoint-

"So how do you feel?" Seonghwa asked me when we came back to my place.

"Good," I said with a smile.

"Yeah? You were so flustered," Seonghwa teased.

"No, I was just… stop!" my cheeks heated up.

"Hmm, going on a date I see. You must be so excited," I smiled at Seonghwa's question and nodded. "You and the pretty lady were standing outside on the balcony for so long, what were you talking about?"

"Ah, nothing. We were just standing there out in the cool breeze and nothing else," I said and stood up to go to the bathroom to get ready for bed. But I stopped when Seonghwa hugged me from the back.

"I wish you the best, my friend. I think she is the one for you. I wish you could see the stars in her eyes whenever she looks at you. I hope this works," his words made me a little sad. Only I know how much I'm dying to see her. But alas! I can't. I scoffed at my disability, bitterly. But I felt so happy that Seonghwa was concerned about me. I love him as a best friend. He has been there for me forever.

"Thank you, Hwa. I hope we- we work out at the end," I whispered and turned around to hug him better. I didn't know I needed that hug.

It was a good day. Grace's friends were so nice and they accepted me without any hesitation. I felt like I belonged there. Her friends are like her… But she is a bit better:)

~~~

-Third person's standpoint-

"Yunho!" Grace called.

"What!?" He came into her room. "What the actual fuck?" He looked at the mess around her room. All the clothes were hanging around. He rolled his eyes and caught a piece of cloth roaming along with the ceiling fan. "How the hell did that get up there? What is going on, Grace?"

"Today is my date, remember!?" She spoke from inside her closet.

"It doesn't mean that you are going to trash your room," he made some space on her bed to sit.

"I don't have time for that. I don't know what to wear," she got out with a huge pout on her face. "What do I do?" She mumbled like a kid.

"Wear anything you want, it's not like he is gonna see it anyway," Yunho said without knowing.

"You say that one more time, you won't be able to walk again," her serious voice sent shivers down Yunho's spine.

"I-I didn't mean to," he whispered. "I'm sorry," he got up and hugged her.

"It's okay. But no more, please," Grace patted his back. "Help me now."

"Grace, you have so many clothes. You are the founder and CEO of your brand. How are you confused?" Yunho frowned.

"I want to be comfortable. But I want to wear something good," she whined.

"Ah, let's put together a dress for you," Yunho got up and opened the window in her room and observed the weather. "It's pleasant outside. I think the usual warm evening will be there… So…" he tapped his chin and snapped his fingers and went into her closet and dug in deeper through the pile of clothes.

After a few minutes, he handed you an outfit. His forehead was covered in sweat. "Now, go in quickly and get ready. It's already late," he ushered her in while wiping the sweat off of his forehead.

Grace quickly took a shower and did her skincare routine and dried her hair and styled them naturally. Then she got into the outfit and put on some makeup. She looked pretty. The simple natural makeup looked so pretty with her white flowy dress that fell just on her mid-shin. Along with it, he gave her a short summer jacket. For the accessories, she wore tiny stud earrings and a thin golden choker. To give a nice final look, she wore beige-colored pumps. Overall, she looked comfy yet beautiful.

"You look like a doll," Yunho smiled at his masterpiece. "Now if you hug him, he will feel nice and comfy," he winked.

"Shut up," she smacked his chest lightly. "I am going now. Please, for the love of your gayness, keep this place intact when I come back," she kissed his cheek and opened the door.

"Don't worry. You won't be disappointed," he waved her goodbye and showed her thumbs up.

~~~

Hongjoong was nervous. He was sweating crazy. Within two hours, he took shower three times. Seonghwa was teasing him for being this nervous but also helped him get in a decent outfit— a white-collar t-shirt with some dark blue jeans and sneakers.

"Seonghwa, I think I'm gonna pass out," Seonghwa laughed at his best friend.

"Don't worry, Hongjoong. It's gonna be alright. She will think that you are just perfect," he patted the shorter man's shoulder.

"Okay," with that they left. The whole ride, Hongjoong's legs were shaking up and down. Seonghwa never saw him this nervous. Grace definitely had an effect on him.

Hongjoong was early. Seonghwa got him a comfortable seat and wished him luck. "At least kiss or something. Don't fail me!" He left.

"Oh look at him. What do you think about why he is here?" Someone on his left asked.

"Probably, for a date," the other person said.

"Huh, a date. Guess what, they are gonna ditch him," a lady said. "I mean, I wouldn't want to be with someone like him, he is a burden," she scoffed.

They continued to make him feel bad about himself. He was so close to ditching Grace. He knew that Grace wouldn't leave him hanging but he didn't want her to think that he was a burden or a liability to her. But then he heard the restaurant bell ring.

Grace entered the restaurant and looked for Hongjoong. When she spotted him, he looked stressed. She was ten minutes late already. Maybe because I was late,'she thought and approached him.

"Hongjoongie~" Grace called. "I'm sorry I'm late. I was- was unable to find the right outfit," she shyly mentioned.

"Ah, no problem!" Hongjoong giggled but shied when he felt a pair of soft lips on his cheek. "I'm sure you look beautiful as always."

Grace was touched by his sweet gestures. Seeing him all flustered was something she started to enjoy. She liked the feeling of his silky skin on her lips. "You are so handsome, Joongie," she held his hand.

"Stop, you make me blush," they both laughed at his cute nose scrunch.

"Well, I do think you are the most beautiful creature out there," she continued.

"Oh, she is a crackhead. Why him? She seems so wise but her choices are shitty," the person from before said again. Grace heard it but ignored it, thinking that they were talking about someone else.

"I think I saw her in the magazine. Isn't she the founder and CEO of that brand called The Glorious?" Oh, now she knows about whom those assholes were talking about.

Grace being Grace, she excused herself and turned towards the group of three people. She gave them a bitter smile.

"Excuse me. I don't remember asking your opinion on my relationship with this handsome man in front of me. Hm. Honestly, you guys are so handsome too. But, well, I'm sorry that you all have ugly personalities. Hopefully, that gets better sooner, you know. It's not healthy to be… dick heads," she turned back to Hongjoong and smiled sadly seeing his sad expression. "And Joongie, I love to spend time with you. I- I adore every single minute of you," she held his hands. "I hope you know that what others think doesn't matter to me. It should not affect us. Please, don't let them get to you. I-I don't know if I can take that," she said in a shaky voice.

Hongjoong held her hands tighter and smiled. He never felt so lucky. She was a miracle for him. He has been to a few dates before but they all either ditched him or never got back to him. There were times when they left him in the middle of the date. I was new to him, someone taking a stand for him.

"I know, I won't," he felt a little guilty for thinking about ditching her at the beginning. "I love to spend time with you too."

The three other people felt utterly humiliated. They paid for their food and scurried away quickly, hiding their faces.

That's what they deserved, to be humiliated. Saying that a person with some special abilities is not well enough for them is shameful. They needed to have a taste of their own medicine.

Rest of the date passed by peacefully. They ordered their meals and talked about everything and anything. They discovered more interesting things about each other. Hongjoong was so talented and did many things. He was a public speaker as well. Many organizations contacted him to speak about being self-reliant. Grace was feeling so proud of the man. He was unstoppable.

After their main course, they left the restaurant and strolled around the streets. Grace wanted to hold his hand but was too nervous to do so. She looked up at him, his cheeks were slightly pink, and his lips had a sweet smile. The streets were rather empty, not in a creepy way. She could hear some people chatting and the tapping sound of Hongjoong's stick. Gaining some confidence, she intertwined their hands and a huge smile crept on her face when his hands closed around her and gave her a little squeeze.

"Haaaaa, it's a beautiful night!" Grace exclaimed. "I wish the time could pause here," she dreamily said.

"Right? I want that to happen as well," he giggled. "I-I am so thankful for you. Thank you for everything you did for me since the day we first met," Hongjoong was feeling emotional. This was the first time that he felt needed by another person who was not his parents or Seonghwa. It was the first time that he felt like his date was actually worth it. Every single time they talked, they helped each other heal from insecurity.

Grace felt more beautiful around him. He was a gentleman he needed in her life. A nice soft-spoken person. He values everything in his life and never complains about anything. Things get difficult, she knows, but he was stronger than grieving and giving up. Even though he was hurting, he had built more will to live and achieve things in his life.

Hongjoong was normal but the way his world worked was through the darkness.

"Oh, there is an ice cream truck! Shall we go and have some? Pweez," Grace asked like a kid making Hongjoong laugh loudly.

"Sure, go ahead," he said in between his laughter.

Grace dragged the laughing man along with her to the truck. She looked at the flavors mentioned there with her sparkling eyes. She repeated the flavors for Hongjoong to choose from.

They bought their ice creams and walked to the Han river. There the pair sat on the bench and enjoyed their ice creams along with the summer evening air.

Grace looked around, the colourful world looked so beautiful. The lights of the tall buildings and the moon shined over the river. She wondered if Hongjoong ever thought about this beauty that she was blessed to see. There were many things wrong in this world but in times like these, the world looked so perfect and gorgeous.

But that wasn't the most perfect or beautiful site at all. That was the man sitting on her left. It was the most eye-catching site in the world, his innocent face, and personality. She looked at him. Her eyes followed his features and landed on his lips. They looked soft and pink. All she wanted to do was explore them as much as she could.

"Hongjoong?" He shivered when her hot breath caressed the side of his face.

"Yeah?" He whispered.

"C-can I kiss you?" Her breath got heavy.

Hongjoong's mind blurred. "Please," he consented.

He felt her cupping his right cheek and rubbing her nose against his. Their lips brushed together and then he felt her soft lips against his. Their lips melted into each other just perfectly as if they were made to be kissed. Her lips felt warm against his as his soft lips kissed back. It was immature at first but they got hold of it. The lips moved in sync with the other. It felt so warm and comforting. The inner thunderstorms calmed down and fell into the deep feeling of the romantic treasure.

They pulled apart to take a breath. Oh, he wanted to look into her beautiful eyes and see the love they poured. He felt so helpless. But her hands held his head and caressed his hair making him melt into her touch. Her forehead rested against hers, the breath fanning over his face.

"Joongie… you make me feel like a different person. You make me feel things I never felt," Grace sobbed. "You make me hypnotized in your charms," she kissed his forehead and looked into his eyes. They were shedding tears as well.

"You say that like you don't do things to me," they chuckled.

The couple stayed like that for a few more moments. It felt like their paths were engaging with each other. The raw feeling of security and belongingness felt so pure and addicting to both of them.

The time passed rather quickly. It was already getting late and Seonghwa was waiting in front of a nearby bus stop. Hongjoong and Grace walked there, hand in hand. He would kiss her knuckles and make her giggle. They both looked lost in their own happy town. A town where there was love and peace, no one was hurt in that town.

"Look at you two! Ah, I'm not single but damn you both make me feel like one," Seonghwa's voice pulled them out of their town. "But I'm not complaining. My girl and I have a lot of fun, you know," he smirked.

"It's just a beginning. You will be seeing more, you know," Grace teased. "Right Hongjoong?"

"Mhm, right," Hongjoong giggled.

"Alright then. Come on in Hongjoong. We shall go now," Seonghwa came to them and held Hongjoong's hand.

"Grace, how did you come?" Hongjoong asked.

"I came here in the cab," she replied.

"Oh, then we will drop you home. Come on in," Hongjoong offered.

"No, it's fine! My apartment is not so far from here. I can go," she assured them.

"No, Grace, we insist," Seonghwa smiled and opened the back seat for you to hop in.

Leaving no place for arguments, she sat in the car. Seonghwa helped Hongjoong in and quickly got in the driver's seat and started moving. The ride was quiet. She looked outside the window and watched the world passing by. In no time, Seonghwa stopped in front of her building.

"Thank you so much for dropping me," Grace thanked.

"No need to say thank you. It's alright," Seonghwa winked at her, friendly.

Grace got out of the car and knocked at Hongjoong's window. Seonghwa lowered the window.

"Joongie, thank you for today. I loved our first date. I'm looking forward to more," She kissed his cheek.

"I loved it too. And yes, we will plan our next date soon… come here," he asked. Grace came closer to his face. His hand found her face. Tracing his fingers along her cheeks, he found her lips and gave them a quick peck. It made Seonghwa's eyes wide as a round table.

Blushing, Grace giggled and got away from the car. After saying good night, she went back to her apartment. The drunk butterflies were dancing in her stomach.

~~~

The next morning, when Yunho woke up, he saw Grace humming to herself and was making breakfast. Her hair was wet after the shower and her skin was glowing and looked fresh.

"Someone is definitely having a good morning," he said while sitting on the island stool.

"I, indeed, am," she smiled widely, something Yunho didn't see enough.

"You went on the date yesterday! Fuck! Did you fuck!?" His eyes widened along with his smirk.

Grace laughed at his reaction. "No, no. We didn't fuck but we did have a great time together. We had dinner and then we bought ice cream from the ice cream truck. After that, we went and spent some time at the Han river… It was wonderful. Nothing sexual, but we might have shared a kiss," she mumbled.

"Bitch! Tell me the details! We work on details. Detail!!!!!!!" Yunho cheered.

"Ah, no wonder why our neighbors complain about us. And there is nothing much in detail. We just had a great time and then Seonghwa came to pick him up and then they offered to drop me here so that's how I came back. And when I came in I was looking for you but you were asleep," she recalled.

"Yeah, I was sleepy yesterday. But it's fine now… How did you kiss? Who initiated it? How was it?" The curious cat perked.

"So, we were sitting there and I kinda got lost in his existence and initiated the kiss. It was romantic and sober. It felt like my whole world fell on the right path. It was heavenly. I didn't want to leave his lips," Grace thought about that moment.

"I'm gonna get diabetes if you will pour this much sweetness here," Yunho giggled. "I'm so excited for you two!" He got up and walked toward the bathroom, "I'm gonna go and get fresh."

~~~

"Yah! Hongjoong!" Seonghwa called while entering Hongjoong's apartment.

Hongjoong came out of the bathroom, the towel was resting on his shoulders and his hair was still dripping. "What?"

"Ah, you didn't talk about your date yesterday. So I came in today to get the details," the smirky voice made Hongjoong giggle.

"Why do you need to know everything?" Hongjoong groaned, playfully.

"Because," Seonghwa helped Hongjoong to sit on the couch, "that's what best friends do."

"Oky," he giggled. "Well, it was great. I felt so important," he shyly smiled.

"Yeah?" Seonghwa smiled at his best friend.

"Mhm. She was so nice and gave her whole attention to me… she even shut off the people who were talking bad about me," Hongjoong mumbled and looked sad.

"What people?" Seonghwa frowned. "Tell me everything, Joong."

"Well, when I was waiting, there were a few people at the next table, and they saw that I was blind and started talking about how my date or whoever it is not gonna show up," he said in a small voice.

"Joong, you know they were just insensitive people who don't even have an ounce of brain and humanity," Seonghwa held Hongjoong's hands and sat on the floor in front of him.

"I know," the younger whispered, "but they got into my head and I was so close to leaving that place. I thought she wouldn't show up or well, might not want to date me."

"But she did and she protected you," Seonghwa gave a gentle squeeze.

"Don't you think I should be the one protecting her and not the other way around?" Hongjoong sarcastically said. "I feel like I'm weak. From the moment I know her, she has been protecting me. I feel useless," he scoffed.

Seonghwa thought about his friend's feelings. It was of the rarest times when he would share his insecurity with him. It made Seonghwa genuinely concerned about Hongjoong.

"It's not like that, Joong. When you truly love someone, there is no stronger or weaker person as long as you both give mental support to each other. And you both share your responsibilities. Like, she takes care of what you can't see and you take care of what she can't feel. She protects you from the assholes who think you are less than anybody and you make her feel loved. You break the walls that she built around her heart. You make her be herself. Why the hell are you so sad? All I see is that you two fit perfectly like puzzle pieces," Seonghwa got up and opened the breakfast bag that he brought. "Don't think too much. You are gonna ruin what you have with your insecurity. But if you think too much, I would say talk to her. Putting your views on your relationship in front of her might help you feel better. You should talk when you sabotage yourself."

Hongjoong thought about what his best friend said. He was well aware of the fact that his mind is playing tricks on him. He was being manipulated by his past experiences. All of the dates he went to and most of the people he met, they all ended up making him feel bad about something that was out of his control. It was almost like his actions and thinking were being directed by those people. He needed to sort it out before his thoughts ate up his relationship.

"Here, eat something then we have to go to your parents for lunch. They asked me to bring you earlier, they want you to meet someone as well," Seonghwa informed.

"Who do they want me to meet?"

"I don't know, they said it was important. That you should be there before eleven."

They ate their breakfast in silence. The thoughts were running wild in both of their heads.

~~~

"Grace!" Sofia whined. "Tell me the whole thing. Why are we so lagging?"

Sofia and Yeosang visited Grace to know the whole Hongjoong scenario. They were so amazed by Grace's flushed look.

"I have never seen her like this. I must say, I was worried that she was sick," Yeosang chimed in while Grace was laying on the couch with a blank face. She was looking at the ceiling without blinking.

Yunho wanted to laugh at what a tiny man did to her. She was never like this. "Are you sick, Grace?" He asked.

"Mhm," she sighed. The other three got concerned after listening to her heavy sigh.

"What happened? Should I take you to the doctor?" Yunho quickly got up and kneeled before her.

"A disorder happened," still not blinking and it made them worry.

"What disorder?" Yunho caressed Grace's head.

"HGMHD," she sighed again.

"Huh?" They said in unison.

"Hongjoong Got Me High Disorder," she pouted.

"Grace! You scared us!" Sofia hit her with the cushion.

"What!? You asked what happened," Grace sat up properly, and Yunho got up and eased next to her.

"So we agree that we are whipped for him… hmm?" Yunho smirked.

Grace groaned and covered her face, "I don't know," she whined, "it's so confusing."

"What is so confusing?" Yeosang questioned and grabbed an apple to nibble on it.

"I don't know… What if Hongjoong doesn't like me?" She combed her fingers through her hair in frustration. "What if he is doing all of this as an act of kindness? He probably wouldn't even look at me if he had his eyesight," Grace's lower lip wobbled.

"Oh, Grace," Sofia got up and hugged her. "You still stuck at those crappy remarks from your ex-dates?"

"I mean, they all said similar things when they left," Grace sniffled.

"But that doesn't mean that that is true," Yeosang held your hand.

"Right. They all were assholes. I'm not gonna lie but you always dated shitty people, Grace," Yunho tsked making her chuckle.

"I have to agree on that one. You did indeed date a bunch of shitheads. They were all filled with the fire of sex. I don't think that they ever saw you. All they wanted was to get their STD-activated dicks wet. It's not your fault," Sofia wiped her eyes.

"I agree!" Yunho exclaimed.

"How do their words even get inside your skull? I remember the old you. You used to be so in love with yourself," Yeosang got the flashback of her happy days when she would always be happy and cheerful.

"You know, insecurities only creep in when someone points them out. I know I was so satisfied with how I looked. But… now, when I think about it, it's just that they make sense somehow," Grace sadly smiled.

The silence dropped onto them. It was a fact that Grace said. Bodies are something that we can never change. People pointing out the flaws that we never saw are as cruel as murdering anybody. It kills someone's confidence and makes them fall into a huge hole of self-hatred. Comparing yourself with others who have perfect bodies is so heart-wrenching. We forget how we are so unique and blessed with oh-so-perfect figures. The beauty standards that others set are so pathetic. No one can tell anyone what a hot or perfect body is. All are beautiful. Regardless of their weights, heights, sizes, curves, features, race, or nationality, they all are marvelous. It's a beauty on its own. We always forget that we are natural art. Our flaws make us who we are, they fill in the details of our personality and make us a distinct and unique piece of art.

The hope of someone loving Grace was so low for herself. Her insecurities were like a truck and her body was like a leaf that came under that truck. Society, the modern society was the biggest denigrator, and the people like Grace and Hongjoong were the biggest victims.

"But what they say is not true," Yunho whispered.

"I know…" Grace hugged Yunho. "I will try to work on it," she promised and stood up. Stretching her sore muscles, she stepped towards the kitchen. "So kids, what do we want to eat? I'm hungry," she cheered the mood.

"Ah, I'll order the pizza. You should come back and sit with us. We still need to know how the Hongjoong thing happened," Yeosang excitedly said.

"You not gonna let it go?" Grace blushed thinking about Hongjoong.

'There is no going back for my feelings now,' Grace mentally sighed… happily.

"You should have hit her face with that $1000 bag!" Sofia exclaimed after Grace told them about how she first met Hongjoong.

"I know, right? She was annoying," Yeosang ugh-ed.

"Hm. I was feeling so bad about this whole thing. He didn't know that that bag was going to be there," Grace said.

"Ah, but I'm proud of you, Grace," Sofia patted her back. "You took a stand. It was necessary."

"These people need to be put in their places. How could anyone say that?" Yeosang said.

"I know. But what happened next?" Sofia asked.

"Then we went to the library and we talked a bit then we went to the book shop to buy my books and then I dropped him back at the cafe," Grace smiled.

"Why did you leave him back there? You could have given him the lift to his house," Yeosang loudly thought.

"Well, I did ask him if I could drop him at his place but he said that his friend is gonna pick him up and all," they all nodded. "Ah, anyway. We are going to our parents this weekend. Do you two want to join us?" Yunho's ears perked at Grace's offer to their friends.

"Yeah, you should join us. It's been a while," Yunho said.

"Well, I am going to Jeju Island with my cousins this weekend. So, I'll pass. Maybe next time," Yeosang smiled.

"And Maya and I are flying to Busan for the seminar about skincare," Sofia's eyes sparked. "I told you, remember?"

"Ah, I forgot that it was this weekend," Grace nodded to herself.

"But as Sangie said next time!" Sofia grinned. "Tell your parents that we sent good wishes."

"Sure, Sofia. But we all should make a plan for it. My parents miss all of us," Yunho chimed.

"Mmhm, mine too," Grace said.

"Grace, your parents have been waiting for you for so long. I'm sure they would want to spend their time with you only this time. I mean after the dinner," Sofia pointed out.

A gloomy mood spread on Grace's face. She missed her parents but had very little courage to go back. She didn't want to show them her dejected phase. They were going to break if she did that. No good parent wants to see their children go through something that makes them hate themselves. For them, their children are the most handsome people in the world.

"I hope it goes well," Grace sighed.

~~~

Grace was working out at her place on the balcony, and Yunho was at Mingi's place. She was doing planks when her phone rang. She got up and wiped the sweat off of her forehead and looked at her phone.

BAE💓

She smiled and picked up the call immediately, "Hello?"

"Hi, Grace. How are you today?" Hongjoong's honey-like voice echoed from her phone.

"Hi, I'm doing great, Joongie. What about you?" Grace walked onto her balcony and leaned against the railing and looked at the world passing by.

"Ah, I'm fine now that I listened to your voice," he giggled.

Grace exaggerated a gasp, "you flirted with me!?" They laughed.

"Oh, do you not want me to?" Hongjoong teased.

"I never said that," she mumbled.

"Oky, so I can flirt as much as I want," he chuckled.

"I mean, you can," Grace picked on the skin around her nails.

"Well, we will do that, no doubt. But I was thinking about yesterday," he began.

"What about yesterday?" Grace asked.

"It was the best date I ever had. I enjoy being with you," Grace's heart fluttered. He didn't say "enjoyed" but "enjoy". It made her inner self somersault.

"Yeah?" He hummed, "I loved it too, Joong. I love to spend time with you. I adore it so much," Hongjoong blushed and chuckled. He never got this much attached to anybody but Grace.

"That's nice to hear… So I was thinking if we could go out on a date?" Hongjoong hesitated.

"Ah! Yes! Please. We can go," Grace's excitement made Hongjoong giggle. "When do you want?"

"This weekend maybe?" He brushed his hand through his hair.

"Oh, not this weekend. Yunho, Mingi, and I are going back to our hometown for a dinner party with our parents for Mingi and Yunho's engagement," Grace's face fell.

"Ah, it's alright. We can go out some other day," Hongjoong suggested.

"Hmm, are you free next Tuesday evening?" She asked.

"Yea, I'm free in the evening," he recalled his schedule in his head.

"Oky, great! I know this nice restaurant. They have some of the best food around here. We can go there for dinner. What do you think?" Grace asked.

"That's fine with me," Hongjoong smiled.

"Oky. And I want to ask you something," Grace shyly said.

"Go on,"

"I was thinking if I could pick you up that evening?" She questioned.

"Sure!" Hongjoong smiled widely. "I'll ask Seonghwa to text you the address," he said.

"Oky cool, we'll meet on Tuesday!" She chimed.

"Yes. Have a nice day, Grace," Hongjoong wished.

"You too!" And they hung up.

This made both of them happy. They both were thinking about talking about a few of their self-doubts to each other. Hopefully, this dating relationship turns into more.

In the end, they both made each other feel worthy.

{Three}

.....

Sanaa's note:

Ahh, I hope you liked this part! I don't know but I'm kinda proud of this fiction. But anyway, I always appreciate the feedback💓

The behavior of all the characters is visualized.

Taglist:

@veneziamadness @perfectlyspaceshongjoong

*lemme know if you wanna be added to the taglist.*

*original pictures are not mine, I just edited them*

Have a nice day/night💓

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tungtung-thanawat · 1 year

Note

Its 2am and I may have lost control of my life...

Even though Jim was the man that held his heart it wasn't like Kaipa was blind. Every weekend, like clockwork, the two men would have breakfast across the street from his family's stall. As Kaipa would be setting up shop he got to have glimpses of nice eye candy. Especially the man with glasses. He wondered if they were together, it seemed like it. It was a nice thought that Kaipa hoped could one day have with Jim.

In the months he'd been watching them, Kaipa noticed a shift in them in the last month. There seemed to be a strange tension and the less attractive of the two sometimes wouldn't show up or often left early, leaving the glasses man and his food. It was a little sad to watch. Soon it was just the glasses man, and then as of this past weekend... no one. Kaipa wondered about them briefly but didn't expect an answer.

Kaipa was shocked to receive one. He learned their names were Wen and Alan. How he came to this information was because Wen was cheating on Alan with Jim. Jim! Not only was Kaipa heartbroken, he didn't expect Jim would be that kind of person - a homewrecker. It was a blow to his heart. Even on the peripheral of the drama, Kaipa saw and learned enough to be crushed. He had to give up on his love...

Two weeks after most of the drama settled and Kaipa took time to mend his heart, the young man was in for a surprise when he saw Alan again on a weekend morning. It was almost like old times, but nothing was the same again. Instead of entering the small eatery, Alan hesitated before looking around. Kaipa watched as he approached his family's stall instead.

Apprehension gripped Kaipa as Alan sat down and asked, 'are you open?' Trying to play it cool like he didn't know most of what happened to this man's most recent relationship and hadn't watched this scrawny man try to beat up the much more muscular Jim, Kaipa replied with, 'no but I can open a little early just for you.' Kaipa winked in the hopes he came off cheeky and normal sounding. It's hard to when you share something so intimately in common and only one of you knows.

He seemed to have because all Alan did was laugh. Oh no. His smile not only lit up his entire face but there was enough sunshine from it to power a house. Kaipa barely caught his next words, shaken by how cute and handsome this man was. 'Well if you continue to do that every time you've got yourself a regular.' His heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing him every week so near.

It was a little scary to realize he was developing a crush on Alan, but Kaipa tried to take it as his heart was healing. He would tell the other how they really know each other, but for now... Kaipa would bask in spending so close to the other man and cooking a meal for Alan. Who knows? Maybe this would be the start of something new, something better.

anon i am *screams* wow this was so beautiful and perfect i decided to stay in bed and read this 5 times instead of going into work (I can WFH dnt worry too much lol) the way you came for mix's whole career "the less attractive one" sdfghjhgfdsdfg and then kaipa doesn't even spare alan he's like this scrawny idiot i love him and he's right! this is such a perfect wonderful set up for a bittersweet fic. like i love that moment of joy between them how they are giving each other something to look forward to the next week. and they make that little connection kaipa with his terrible flirting and alan with his sunshine smile (it certainly powers MY house). its so mlc in its vibes, looking for those small moments that makes this shitty life worth living. But then there's this other layer that you know they'll have to deal with - that kaipa knows him, that kaipa knows wen and what happened between them. And I can imagine how for a person who's probably looking for some distance from that and likely a diminished sense of trust - to find out that kaipa kept these things from him. oh my heart T_T kaipa will help alan open his heart once more T_T and i love that he seems a little more balanced in the official trailer than he did in the pilot - i think he shows enough maturity to be actually able to do this instead of the crying mess clinging to jim for a chance.

#alankaipa #alankaipa fanfic #firstkhao fanfic #moonlight chicken fanfic #nani answers #anon i am screaming crying throwing up #if you start posting on ao3 know that you have at least one fan!!!

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nuoyipeach · 1 year

Text

Healing Scars

Kim Yerim X Johnny Suh × Hendery Huang

warnings: a lot of angst, mentions of very slight physical altercations (nothing violent)

>>>

Yeri loved the old man. He was one of the top donator of their community church, and was very loving to everyone, especially the youth. Yeri held a soft spot in him as he watched her grow, from being in the kids’ choir to singing solo as an adult.

When her parents passed away in an accident, he immediately took it to himself to fund her every need. Even when she started working he still sent in allowance every month out of endearment. She never took advantage of it and he loved that about her.

It was no surprise when he finally invited her over for dinner with his family on Lunar New Year, now a young and beautiful 25-year-old. She knew of most of the family, the elder man, his wife, their son and their daughter. This time, instead of the daughter, she saw two unknown young men at the table, looking around her age.

"Come Yeri." the elder man called as his own wife sat her down. "Meet my grandsons. This is Johnny, the elder. And this is Hendery." The two greeted her, the elder looking more stoic, while the younger smiled softly. "You both know Yeri, the girl I love like my own." he laughed and the rest joined in.

Except Johnny. She noticed how he kept a straight face throughout the introduction, even when they all sat down to eat. As they ate they made small talk, she talked more with Hendery aside from the two older women, and found out about what he's been up to.

"I'm just working as a manager at granddad's hotel in Seoul. Johnny hyung leads the main thing though."

"Oh are you brothers?" Yeri asked, noticing his sudden silence, as well as the others as they overheard her.

"We're not, he's illegitimate."

"Johnny!" Yeri was shocked as she saw Johnny's mother yell after he answered, which also shocked her at his complete indifference. She turned and noticed Hendery looking down, clearly upset.

The grandfather cleared his throat. "That's enough. Yeri, I'll explain. Remember my daughter? Well, she had a relationship with a man whilst studying in Macau, and well, had Hendery. As much as it hurts my pride to say, my daughter isn't a good person, especially to raise a child on her own, so we kept him with us, my son and his wife raised him."

While listening her eyes stayed at the man, noticing his eyes still sullen. She held his shoulder, and he looked up to see her smile at him. "You're no less family than anyone here is." he smiled at her words, until the two heard a scoff coming from Johnny's direction. Yeri scowled at him before they all continued eating.

As they finished desserts, the elder man cleared his throat again. "Well, I actually have an announcement to make." he stood, wobbling a bit until his wife helped him balance, then looked over the table. "I'm not getting any younger, and I don't know how much longer I have until my time is up. One of my hopes is to see at least one grandchild get married."

Being the obvious older one, all eyes peeked at Johnny before looking back at the man.

"Now, another thing I would love is for Yeri to become my family. Actual family." this was an obvious shock to everyone, even Yeri herself, and they were all clear about it. "She's a great and hardworking person. I'd love to leave some of my assets to her as well, but I sadly cannot without any family ties, and, though I know all of you here wouldn't, the last thing I want is for my siblings and their families to start fighting her for them."

Her eyes shook as she peeked at the rest of the family, who all were still in shock, but noticed they found reason with his decision. The elder lady suddenly turned to her with an understanding smile.

"I understand you're not in any relationships, right Yeri?" she shook her head. "Anyone you fancy?" she responded the same. "Well then... if its alright with you, we were thinking that maybe you and Johnny could marry."

>>>

Yeri had agreed. And now she regretted it. It was the biggest regret she had ever had, evident as she sat in her closet crying her heart out. His impression from that dinner should've been a sign of something, and she still doesn't know why she said yes.

For granddad... its for him... The only reasoning she could think of.

It had been couple of months, and the family was great. She really felt at home with them. Who would have thought her biggest problem would be the man she married.

Johnny was anything but welcoming, or nice. It made her think how did such a man spawn from such a warm and loving family. He constantly disregarded her, treating her as if she was beneath him, and when she spoke up about careers he'd have the same reply.

"What career? Aren't you just here to take from our grandfather?"

This time he went as far as hating her for the way she dressed, telling her to change her outfit, which was an sleeveless floral dress down to her knees, to a boring office blouse and pants. It shattered her, breaking her heart more than ever. If there was one thing her church had taught her is to respect and love everyone equally, yet here the grandson of their biggest donator was doing the complete opposite.

Drying up her tears, she got up and got ready for a family night. These were the only thing she looked forward to, some time away from her husband with the people she felt loved. She especially was excited as it was the only time she could meet Hendery, as it turned out they were the only two of the same age, and they immediately became good friends, despite Johnny's constant reminder of his mother.

Same as always, she separated right away as they entered the grandfather's mansion, and headed for where she saw Hendery. He smiled back at her and they started to talk, Yeri invested in the story about his mother actually coming to see him for a day. It was a rare yet common occasion, the lady would simply swoop in unannounced, catch up with Hendery about the family and himself, then leave for weeks again.

After dinner the two returned to one of the few lounge rooms with their drinks and continued their talks about everything and nothing. Yeri felt happier than ever, at least since she's been stuck in this marriage with the man's cousin. As she stared at him talk about something else (she wasn't quite focused at this point) she wondered if things would have been the same if she married him instead.

Stop it... you're married already... she shook her head off of these thoughts, but they still gave her outcomes.

Nothing much would have been different, other than the possibility that she might have a better husband.

Before they knew it, especially with all the drinks they had, the two were sat very close to each other, teasing each other about random things again. With her feet aching from the heels, she lifted them up the couch for a bit, and Hendery unconsciously started massaging her ankles, neither realising anything.

Not even when someone stepped into the lounge room.

"HANDS OFF YOU B*STARD!" for Yeri, her immediate instinct hearing that voice was to drop everything and stand up, and to no surprise so was Hendery's. They looked towards where Johnny stood, eyes red as blood as he stomped forwards and grabbed Yeri's hand tight before roughly pulling her with him. "Keep your lowlife morals out of this house! My parents worked their asses off to raise you, have some decency to not ruin that with your mother's actions. That b*tch should've died along with you."

Yeri was shocked to her core, even more seeing Hendery simply taking the insults with no fight back. She struggled as Johnny kept pulling her out of the room and down the stairs, her yells catching the family's attention and stopping Johnny.

His grandfather stepped in, clearly mad at the commotion. "Why are you dragging her across the house like some rag doll?!"

Johnny scoffed, hand still holding her wrist tight as his mother tried to get his grip off. "Why don't you teach that grandson of yours morals of not touching another man's wife? Or teach this woman you love so much to maintain boundaries?"

All eyes turned to Yeri, who simply broke down as she finally pushed off Johnny's hand. Her mother in law held her and sat her down on the ground as she tried her best to talk.

"Nothing happened... please trust me... we were just talking... just talking..."

"Then why were his hands all over your legs?!" Johnny yelled, his mother shushing him to let her continue.

"I was just massaging her ankles because they were red from wearing the heels for so long." everyone turned their attention towards Hendery who came down the stairs, head still down. "I do it for grandmum all the time. Nothing else happened, we just talked and I did that, that's all. Stop hurting her like that please."

Johnny fumed and stormed towards him, grabbing him by the collar. "You're only still here because I respect our grandfather enough not to have fired you and kicked you out myself. Keep your hands to yourself, and your nose out of my family."

Yeri watched horrified as Hendery nodded, and walked back upstairs once the older pushed him away. She hated watching him get bullied when he did nothing wrong, and no one had a problem with him except Johnny. She stood up out of her mother-in-law's hold and ran towards the two cousins.

"Hendery wait!" she called him causing him he stopped and look back. She then turned to Johnny. "Apologise." her husband stared at her in shock and anger. "Hate me if you want, but apologise to your cousin. You had no right to do and say all that! I don't care that you despise me, call me a gold digger or whore, but your wrong is your wrong."

Johnny scoffed, glaring back at her. "And what, having his hands over a married woman isn't wrong? I guess that's why you stayed there huh? You're really just as low as him huh?"

"Yea sure, call me that. Say it. I don't care. Do you think if I did, I would've been alive today? Your grandfather is the only reason I decided to live this long. Did you think coming from a struggling family made me happy? That losing my parents felt like ecstasy? All that I have left praying for at the church was your grandfather. So go ahead, say what you want. I won't lose hope in myself, not as long as he's alive, because guess what, I'm a human being who actually respects people. It's actually sad that even by being his blood and so called legitimate grandchild, you don't have any respect for people."

Johnny's anger had reached its limit, she could very clearly see that from thr way he glared at her up and down. And it was more evident when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her away with him, leaving the house. He ignored all the yells from his family, and Yeri struggling, and practically threw her into the car before getting inside himself, and started the car.

Yeri had but one thing in her mind at that point. She didn't care about her wellbeing anymore. She didn't care about the properties she'd be willed to. Just as the car started to move, she opened the door and jumped out, tumbling on the road in the process. Johnny hadn't yet processed what happened as he drove towards the main gate, and the few guards outside stood in shock as they watched her pick herself up and run back inside the house.

Of course everyone inside saw what happened. They were at the door and windows ever since Johnny had pulled her out, and now they watched as she ran back inside, ignoring all their calls, and went upstairs to a guest room. She locked the door, even blocking it with the bedside table, and just sat on the bed, finally being able to breath.

She heard the voices call to her from outside. First her mother-in-law, then their grandmother , followed by Johnny banging on the door, and his father yelling at him to back off. She didn't hear what they said, but could tell he was in for a big scolding.

Finally she heard someone who made her heart break. "Yeri... I'm so sorry sweetheart." the elderly man spoke loud yet softly. "I shouldn't have fixed you up with someone you didn't know. All this is my fault. Your pain, it's all on me. I was wrong, I thought he would be good at being a husband as he is being a business man, but I was wrong. I expected too much of him, and I let you suffer the outcome of it..."

Yeri listened silently. She couldn't even cry. She simply felt numb. But she was sharp, and heard the soft sobs of their grandfather. It broke her heart even more, and she finally stood up and went to the door. She held the table, slowly pushing it away, when another voice came.

"Yeri... please come out."

Sighing, she unlocked and opened the door, still careful of Johnny's sudden appearance. Peeking out, she noticed he was there, but blocked by his father. She looked around more and saw everyone still there, but their grandfather. Hendery approached her first.

"Granddad asked for you to go see him in his office." he said while pointing in the direction of the room. She nodded and walked away, not wanting to face the crowd any longer.

Peeking into the room, she saw him sitting at his table, face hidden in his hands as he breathed hard, clearly still in despair. "Close the door dear." she did as told and sat next to him. She felt bad about what he was going through, it wasn't like he knew how his grandson would be like behind closed doors.

But maybe she was wrong.

"I knew it all..." he suddenly spoke, eyes still down at the table. "I knew he was heartless. He's good at his job, but that's sadly all he's good at, and it made him have a heart of stone. I thought that maybe getting him married to an extraordinary woman like you would have opened him up... but I was wrong, and instead, I hurt you..." tears dropped onto his lap, and Yeri gulped as he slowly turned to her. "You should not forgive me, but I still am very sorry. You went through a lot, yet I caused you pain... I'm so sorry my child..."

She couldn't take the pain anymore, and quickly hugged the man, hiding her face in his shoulder as she silently teared up as well. They sat like that in silence for a while, only the sounds of his soft sobs in the room.

After some time he pulled her out, wiping his eyes before speaking. "I understand if you want to divorce him. I'll get my lawyer down here immediately, just say the word."

Yeri thought about it. She did no longer want to be his wife, living with him was like hell, and he was a cruel man. But one thing concerned her, and made her have unwanted second thoughts.

"Granddad... I still want to be family to you." she saw the shock in his eyes. "I have no one, and I love the family, I don't want one bad apple to be the reason I'm no longer part of you. It's not for what you want to give me, I swear, I just really felt like home here..."

The elder man looked away, nodding his head as if in thought. "Well, it's too late for you to be adopted into our family, you're an adult." he sighed and looked back at her. "I think it's best you divorce him first. And don't worry, you're no less family to us with or without legal ties. I'll get you moved into our house here, you're welcomed to stay as long as you wish." he saw the shock but happiness in her eyes, and smiled petting her head. "About my assets... we'll figure it out later. I haven't signed off my will yet, but I will soon."

Yeri left the room with a soft smile, greeted by Johnny's mother and Hendery outside the door. Her mother-in-law stepped forward first, and hugged her tight. "I heard what he said. And just know, married or not, you're always welcomed as my daughter." she let go and faced Yeri, smiling sincerely.

Yeri knew they all meant it, and was happier than ever that she could have a family on her own. As she went downstairs, she saw Johnny sitting in the living room. Their eyes met, and this time, she kept her stare on him as she walked closer. Once they were face to face, she spoke.

"I'm free from you." she spoke with her head held high. "I hope you find what you really need."

Johnny scoffed. "Definitely wasn't you."

"I know."

>>>

As his time went by, his health only deteriorated. The Seo grandfather was already telling his son all his plans he had fixed for his works, who to pass them on to and etcetera. But one thing still worried them, which prevented him for finalising his will.

How will they let Yeri inherit without problems? All that was left was his real estates, which Hendery had stated he refused to inherit. They knew it was because of Johnny's constant bullying, but he made it clear he also wanted to start a career himself, and the olders had no choice but to respect his wishes.

However, their grandmother was quick to notice something throughout the time Yeri lived with them, and she knew this could be the loophole they were looking for.

It had been almost a year since she moved in with the rest of the family, away from Johnny. And eight months since she was officially divorced. All this time she spent her time after work at the house, doing small errands like helping with cooking, or helping them with their business works. And the thing the elder lady noticed was her bond with everyone, but most specifically one person.

The smile on Yeri's face when she was with Hendery, she recognised it anywhere. And Hendery was clearly not one to hide his smile back to Yeri.

"I know you regret the first set up," she spoke to her husband, holding his hand, "but I know love blooming when I see it. How do you think you've been with me all these years? And how do you think I know you've loved me back as well?"

The man looked at his wife, and knew there was no hiding his feelings for her, and the same went for her feelings as well. He sighed and looked away again. "What if it's a mistake again?" his voice shook as he spoke, evident of his weak health. "I can't put that angel through pain a second time..."

His wife touched his face, turning it towards her. "Hendery's not like Johnny. Why don't you propose the idea to them and see? I know it'll work out, trust me."

He trusted his wife, but he wondered if it was ever a good idea as he sat in his office chair and looked at the two adults who sat in front of him confused why they were suddenly called in. His wife stood behind him and held his shoulder in reassurance.

"Well..." he started with a sigh. "I need to finalise my will, and, I still need to write Yeri as an inheritor. I have a... proposal to make it work out." he pursed his lips, wondering how to say it, picking up the courage to speak again. "I want both of you to be completely honest with me, no more pleasing me, only yourselves."

Yeri and Hendery looked at each other as if confused, then back at the grandfather and nodded.

"How would you feel to get married, to each other?"

>>>

It took a few days, but a sudden encounter in the backyard one night and they agreed. Yeri was simply outside at night, wanting some fresh air as she was unable to sleep. Hendery had stepped out for the same reason, and they ended up talking deeply, especially regarding the elder man's proposal.

One line from Yeri had them both realise their answer.

"Do you have any regrets?" he had asked her

"No."

He looked at her shocked, confused how did she not regret the time spent with Johnny. "Why?"

She looked at him and smiled. "If I didn't go through what I did, I wouldn't have known you this way."

The next day, they accepted the idea, and within a month both their marriage and grandfather's will were legally registered. They didn't rush things though. They stayed in their separate rooms, took their time going on casual dates, getting to know each other better first, and going through anything that might cause them issues.

It was safe to say for Yeri, there were less things to solve than before.

Hendery smiled looking at her as he helped her plate dinner. She had taken it to herself to cook for everyone that night, so he decided to help knowing it would be tiring to do alone for so many people. Once he finished his task, he saw her still arranging the side dishes to make them look pretty, and came closer looking over her shoulder.

Letting his intrusive thoughts win, Hendery rested his chin on her shoulder, taking Yeri by surprise. She peeked at him for a second, before feigning ignorance and going back to her task, when he suddenly spoke. "Is my head heavy?"

This caught her off guard even more, and Yeri couldn't help start laughing. She looked back at him as he moved away. "What kind of question is that?" she shook her head at him.

He shrugged, hands still up when replying. "Just asking, didn't wanna burden you." he sounded so serious, Yeri could only laugh more. Once she composed herself she shook her head again, before finishing off the task and passing it on to the maid to set the table. She then looked at the food Hendery had plated and smiled at him.

This time she decided to let her intrusive thoughts win, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you. It looks neat."

>>>

Everyone in the family seemed happy with the new couple's arrangement, though there were two who were still unaware of it. It wasn't until another family dinner night, three months later, when those outside of the house found out, that was Johnny and, to everyone's surprise, Hendery's mother.

Johnny noticed the couple sitting together, but paid no heed until after everyone finished eating, when their grandfather suddenly asked for their attention. "I have finalised, and officiated, my will with my lawyer. My time is coming soon, I can feel it..." he went quiet for a while, as did everyone. They all noticed he was definitely on his last leg, but no one was ready to accept it. "I want to go through it one last time tonight with everyone here. After this, we can all forget about it until the future." everyone nodded, and Yeri didn't miss the oddly hopeful look in her new mother-in-law's face (it was weird calling her when she was yet to know her son's marriage).

"My position as chairman will obviously go to my son, and he will foresee all my assets as well, along with his wife of course. As for the hotel, I leave it for Johnny to inherit. Hendery will also no longer be working for you." at this Johnny's ears perked up. "He will be working under my real estate agency."

Their attention changed when Hendery's mother suddenly cheered, and Yeri got the hint why he was so persistant in not wanting to inherit anything. Their grandfather was shocked, but understood as well, and was quick to continue reading. "As for the agency itself however, I leave it to my granddaughter-in-law, Yeri."

"WHAT?!?" both Johnny and Hendery's mum stood up in shock, simultaneously screaming as well. Johnny's father shushed them and strictly motioned them to sit down, but his sister was definitely not happy. "What in-law? Who is she even married to?"

"I'd like to ask the same." Johnny added on, for once taking side with his aunt. "Because last I remember, we were divorced." he side-eyed Yeri, who sat with her left hand on the table, and that's when he noticed. She wore a wedding ring, different from the one from their own marriage however. He then peeked at Hendery, who drank water as he got nervous, and noticed his hand as well.

Matching rings.

"Well," his attention turned back to their grandfather, "Yeri inheriting that was always my plan, but you obviously gave me quite the dilemma with your marriage behaviour." he eyed Johnny. "While living with us, your grandmother noticed them. I don't care how much you won't like me saying this Johnny, but Hendery is much better at being a husband than you could ever be. Of course this time I allowed them to choose, and they did, they accepted the marriage, so now Yeri is again legally family, and I have every right to pass on inheritance to her."

Johnny could only scoff and turn away. Though thanks to his business brain, he realised that was the best move considering his grandfather's decisions. There was still one person who was not on board with the idea, and she now stood up angrily pointing at Yeri.

"Who is she to inherit from you? Why isn't your actual grandchild inheriting that? She's only gonna use your money, and next thing you know she'll leave Hendery and take it all with her!"

Yeri was quick to hold Hendery's hand, stopping him from standing up only to add fuel to the fire. He looked back at her, saw she shook her head, and sat back down with a sigh. They looked back as their grandmother now spoke instead, standing up as well.

"You were never in Hendery's life, so why do you care? Let me guess, you were hoping he'd get the agency, and you could use him for money? How pathetic!" everyone stood shocked as she said what they all didn't have the heart to. "Yeri is more family than you, and for your information Hendery was the first in line to inherit, but he's made it clear he doesn't want it, and we all see why. You're the one who's going to use him, not Yeri. I'm ashamed our only daughter turned out this way."

His mother clearly didn't like hearing anything so far, suddenly grabbing her wine and spilling it at Yeri. Everyone gasped, and Hendery very clearly had had enough as he stood glaring at his mother. "Why don't you just leave like you always do!? Go spend your new boyfriend's money instead! Stop coming after me and my family!"

"You're only a part of this family because of me you ungrateful brat!"

"WHY ELSE DO YOU THINK I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!"

Yeri's eyes widened, the whole room falling into silence, everyone's movements on halt. All eyes were on Hendery, even Johnny's. The man in question stood heaving breaths, before he relaxed his shoulders and without a word left the table. Yeri watched his figure disappear, when suddenly she heard a soft weep, turning to see Johnny's mother holding in her tears.

Suddenly she stood up as well, letting go of her cries as she spoke to her sister-in-law. "You have no idea what that child has been through! To hear him say that, as the woman who actually raised him, you have no idea how hard it was when his cousin, my own son, wouldn't accept him! I have no regrets having had Hendery in my life, but you have NO RIGHT to say you did him any favours!"

Yeri couldn't take it, and stood up and followed in the direction Hendery had left. She found him outside sitting by the small fountain, face hidden in his hands as he leaned on his legs. Her heart broke, as long as she's known him, through all the insults Johnny had thrown at him, she had never seen him this broken before. Slowly she walked to him, wine stains still evident on her dress, and sat next to him close, their shoulder just barely touching.

She heard him weep, which broke her even more, and she finally gave in to the distance as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. "Don't say that again, please." she whispered, leaning her forehead against his shoulder. "I know it hurts, but don't think like that."

"I'm sorry..." she heard him say softly, wiping his eyes as he tried to compose himself. "To be honest... after you'd inherit it I planned on leaving." Yeri moved out, staring at him wide eyed, in shock and confusion from his words. He looked at her, and she saw his eyes red from crying. "I was doing granddad a favour, it didn't matter to me..." he looked away before continuing, "nothing does. What's the point? Without me, it won't make a difference."

"HUANG GUANHENG!" Yeri yelled as she stood up, clearly upset by everything he said. She rightfully had to be, it hurt her deep hearing him say he had no reason to live. As she processed it more, she fell to her knees in front of him and grabbing his face to look at her.

"How can you say and act like you have nothing to live for, when you have me? Aren't I enough? Do you think I only did this to do granddad a favour? I..." her eyes welled up as she thought about her next words. "Hendery... I genuinely love you. You were there for me when I didn't know who to talk to, you made me smile after those days I couldn't. And after all that, when it became us, you made me regain trust in a relationship."

Feeling her emotions take over, she let go of his face and looked down, and Hendery could see the tears falling from her cheeks. "Even... even if you wanted to run away, I would have supported you, I would have followed you. But, you want to die, because you don't think anything matters..." she looked back up, her face wet, and choked on her cries. "How do you think that makes me feel? How can you say that after everything?"

He was speechless. He knew he hadn't thought of her in his initial plan. He simply figured it to be a convenience for his family, and that after his job was done, he'd leave for good. His role wasn't needed. And as he stared back at her in silence, Yeri stood slowly and shook her head.

"You really didn't care about me did you?" her voice broke as she spoke. When he was silent again, she looked away and wiped her tears. "I get it... I was the idiot for thinking it would work this time." she looked back at him, and what she said felt like a stab in his chest.

"You're no better than Johnny... if anything you're worse. He was my enemy from day one, but you pretended to be my friend, only to betray me... you're the worst kind of person!"

She ran back inside the house, and he heard someone call for her as she continued to run. He looked back down at his feet, grabbing his hair in frustration as he realised what he had just done. Life had given him a chance, but he threw it out without a care, and he hurt the person he vowed to never do so.

"Stupid idiot!" he grunted, his hands fisted hitting his head.

"You really are." a voice caught his attention, making him look up, shock taking over at the sight of his cousin. "You really are an idiot. The fact that you can see it yourself is the only guarantee for me that you're still smart."

Hendery didn't want anything more than to drown himself in the water behind him, and seeing the cousin who hated him all his life just made him remember why. He looked away, wiping his nose as he feigned ignorance. "Go away, you never have anything nice to say, you're the last person who should be here right now."

"Shocking isn't it." Johnny replied, monotonous as ever. "I've hated you all my life because I thought it was unfair how a kid dropped at our door was getting the same love and attention as me. I hated you more hearing about your mother, the disgrace to our family." Hendery rolled his eyes the more he heard the older man speak. "But, I hate you now because if there's one thing that bugs me most it's losing a good deal that's right in front of your eyes."

At this Hendery turned, confused what he meant. "You're smart, but you let emotion get in the way. I hate that. You're so stupid for it, and even more now that you're letting it get in the way of the chance of having the perfect life with someone."

Hendery sighed rubbing his face, and got up to eye level at Johnny, though the man was much taller. "Since when do you care about me, or her? You hurt her, you hurt me, since when do you care about our life?" he asked, voice rough from holding in his tears.

Johnny scoffed rolling his eyes, then looked back at him with a serious look. "I only hated her because she was an unwanted obstacle in my life plan. I never planned on getting married, even now I still don't. I'll admit I was heartless, but I hate having to come home to have someone on my back asking me stupid questions like how was your day or have you eaten, it's a waste of time." he suddenly walked closer, poking at Hendery's chest.

"You however are the exact man for a life like that, and yet when the chance for one came so easily you decided to let it go? I don't think I've met someone so stupid before in my life. I've thought many things about you in my life, none which are good I'll admit. But, I never thought you were stupid. Stupid for thinking emotionally yes, but not literally. When I heard your arrangement earlier, I knew it should have been you from the start for something like this. With me it was a dilemma, but for you it would have done good to both granddad and you."

Hendery listened silently, absorbing everything he heard. "I still don't get why you care so much." he managed to say, genuinely confused why his cousin suddenly gave him this talk.

Johnny put his hand down, and answered in the most nonchalant way possible.

"I don't want granddad's hard earned work to go to waste, to someone who's only gonna ruin it, that is your mother."

>>>

By the time he went back in the house, a maid was already wiping the table. Sighing, Hendery went upstairs, heading to his room. As he walked on he passed by Yeri's, noticing the door creaked open slightly, and heard soft sniffles inside. Unable to hold himself, he peeked in, and she her laid on her side on the bed, something shiny in her hand that she played with.

Their wedding ring.

He watched her silently, seeing she was in deep thought, when he lost his balance and fell through the door. Yeri screamed internally at the sudden intrusion, hand on her chest as she realised who it was.

Hendery looked up at her from the floor, neither knowing how to react anymore as he scrambled to stand up fast and dusted himself. "Uhm... sorry. I just... tripped." He managed to speak.

Yeri sighed and turned away, staring at the window out into the darkness of their front yard. She didn't have anything to say, or talk about, and decides keeping her eyes off of him would be the best option for him now.

Hendery didn't like seeing her this hurt, and after much hesitation, he walked closer and sat on her bed, leaving some distance between them. "Can we... can we talk? Please?" his voice softer than ever, even more than when getting yelled at by his cousin. Yeri turned her head, but kept it straight, still not daring to look at him.

He decided to continue, and sighed before speaking. "I'm sorry... You were right, I should have thought about you. I thought I was doing you guys a favour, but I never took your feelings into consideration. I'm... I'm no different than Johnny, I'm worse. I made you think I cared, which I did without a doubt, but... I don't know, I just never really think into the future that way."

Yeri finally looked towards him, but saw his eyes down at his feet, a tear dripping on his cheek. She was still mad, but put her anger aside for a short minute as her feelings took over. Hendery froze as he suddenly felt arms around him, his body turned slightly as she hugged him, head on his shoulder.

"I understand everything you've been through, and I have no problems with what you suffer or how you act about it." she pulled away just enough that their faces stayed close. "Just... please consider me in your life. It's selfish to think the way you did, when I'm here. I need you, and I'm also here for you."

Hendery pursed his lips to stop them from quivering obviously, before he threw his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug, something they both felt like they needed.

"I'm sorry..." he mumbled, voice clearly broken.

Yeri choked back some tears, though she was confident something was now different and she no longer had to worry about his previous plans. She held him more gently, snuggling into his chest somewhat, feeling content after the longest time.

"We can heal together Hendery, you don't have to do all the work." they pulled away a little and looked at each other, Yeri smiling this time as she spoke. "You're not alone anymore. I know it feels weird at first, but you'll have to get used to me being in your life every single moment now."

His heart felt weird, but in a good way, and he hugged her again, feeling the most comfort he had ever felt in his life.

The door was left open, and Johnny soon walked past noticing it. He saw two sets of legs dangling off the end of the bed, and let curiosity get the best of him as he peeked in a little, scoffing at the sight of the couple laying in bed asleep. He saw Hendery hugging his wife like a teddy bear, his face relieved as if all his problems were washed away.

>>>

so this is based on a dream I had including the characters (though Yeri was originally Irene but the age gaps weren't working irl so i switched it heh) & idk how it got so long trying to include all the main events that happened (as far as I could remember lol)

Hope you guys enjoyed it! Feedback is much appreciated♡

#nct #nct 127 #wayv #red velvet #kim yerim #yeri #johnny seo #hendery huang #johnny #hendery #angst #sad #johnny suh #nct johnny #wayv hendery #red velvet yeri #kpop fanfic #nctvelvet

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cocksuki2 · 2 years

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i just watched the movie drive my car and it was so beyond fantastic. that film is incredible.

not only is the cinematography absolutely beautiful, capturing the ordinary moments in life in a way that is both captivating and real, but the symbolism used in it is both rich and provides a deeper reading of the story. i truly am astounded at this film.

(fyi that this is gonna include spoilers for the movie below the cut so if you plan on watching it… don’t look.)

the use of the car as a motif for the resentment kafuku holds for his late wife was absolutely superb. the film’s relationship to death and the concept of death and the ideas presented about kafuku’s loss of control through the vehicle were so well done and so delightfully subtle.

it starts with a small car accident he gets into after discovering his wife’s unfaithfulness that spurs him to be checked by a doctor. he’s diagnosed with glaucoma in one eye, a progressive disease which slowly takes away the ability to see, and is told that he will eventually be unable to drive but that he can slow the damage by using eye drops regularly. the doctor says “you may doubt that it’s working, but without them you’ll be blind.” which I think is such an incredible motif for the slow healing that comes with infidelity as well as death.

he drives his car and purposefully commutes long distances to run lines, using his time in the car as a way to get lost in whatever play he is working on. kafuku keeps it in great condition, as it is 15 years old and has never had a problem (similar to his marriage before the death of his daughter and discovering his wife’s infidelity).

kafuku’s wife then dies suddenly before he is able to confront her about her infidelity, resulting in him bottling those emotions as a result of him feeling as if things were left unresolved.

two years after the death of his wife, kafuku takes a job and finds out that it will not allow him to drive due to a previous incident with it he company and he is, at first, resistant to the idea. despite the fact that he can still practice the lines of the play, it is a loss of control that he cannot come to terms with. the driver is a 23 year old woman named misaki, the age his daughter would be had she survived to adulthood. in her, he finds the resolution for his marriage in the ability to share his loss of control.

the film uses the car as a representation of the resentment he holds for his wife and as the film progresses, he worries less and less about its condition and his control over it.

perhaps the most striking example of this is after he confronts one of the men his wife slept with, takatsuki, in the back of the car. he’s an actor in the play and though things seem amicable through the conversation (as two years have passed since her death), it is evident that tension within kafuku is mounting. when takatsuki leaves the car, kafuku then proceeds to sit in the front seat for the first time since misaki became his driver. he offers her a cigarette in the car and it is fantastic symbolism of the beginning of his journey to letting go of his resentment.

kafuku is then forced to act in the play himself, as the night that takatsuki and him conversed in the car, takatsuki had beat a man who later died in the hospital (divine retribution for the adultery he knowingly committed, as is common with films and their villains tho I could talk about this character separately for a very long time). as the story progresses, he continues to give up these little points of control over it until eventually, he is implied to have given the car to misaki, finally letting go of his anger and resentment after performing in the play.

through the film, he’s also seen using the eye drops at various points, though as the story continues, he is shown doing it less and less. it’s beautiful symbolism for staving off confronting the anger, hurt, resentment, and grief he holds for his late wife. there is love there but in acknowledging the love he chooses to ignore the things that would make his grieving process less simple. it’s the use of medicine and his progressive disease in the story that demonstrates his willingness to confront those feelings and the car which represents his willingness to let them go and continue on.

overall, the film is fucking fantastic. it’s an incredibly human story with characters whose plights are dealt with in a manner that is fitting of their abilities. it’s relatively symbolic and if you’re not paying attention certain aspects of it might fly over your head but it is overall a masterful use of symbolism in cinema. it’s incredible. if you haven’t seen it, please watch it.

#cal.analysis #drive my car #i loterralllyyyy am I AWE #IM IN AWE #it’s so good I enjoyed it so much #it’s about three hours long tho so buckle in lol #drive my car spoilers

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toragotchi · 1 year

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january 2023 mediapost

everything i watched, read, and listened to this month

watched

the lego movie (2014)

first watch of the new year! from what i've seen, most media being catered to children is just stupid, so it's always such a pleasant surprise to see something that's actually good. like something i wouldn't mind my children watching, if i had any. not that stupid movies are bad, but you know.

pineapple express (2008)

this movie was not at all what i was expecting. i put this on just to have something to zone out to. overall, it served its purpose and had some really funny moments.

drunk history (2013)

i watched the first two episodes of this, thinking maybe i'd learn something i didn't know before, or maybe at least have a laugh, but i think this show might be too dumb for me to get into. i think the concept is great, but i wish it were more like.. historically accurate stories told in a funny way, rather than like 'woah that guy is really hammered.' i doubt i'll continue to watch this.

you people (2023)

absolutely plastered watching this one and i could still tell it was the worst movie i've seen in awhile.

read

as i lay dying by william faulkner (1930)

first read of the new year! i really enjoy faulkner's writing and the concept of this story was so awesome, but for some reason it took me forever to get through this book. some parts of it i had to reread too many times for my liking. i will have to check out some more stuff by him in the future.

indignation by philip roth (2008)

i am usually turned off by the young angsty main character trope (i really hated the new me by halle butler for this reason), but for whatever reason i really loved it this time. i think his anger at the world was more funny and relatable than pretentious and annoying. a story about how ironic life can be, how confusing social rules can be, and the way the universe favors some of the stupidest people, told through the eyes of someone who freaks out about these things in the same way that i do. it was really great.

lizard by banana yoshimoto (1993)

(a collection of short stories)

- newlywed: i don't really care for stories about men fantasizing about some hot cool mysterious woman who comes and rescues them from their wives that they hate like stfu lol.

- title story: i enjoyed the female character more than anything, and the concept of her being burdened with her magic healing powers as a result of her past. she was really cool but i wish the story were told from her perspective.

- helix: this story was really sweet and i love the concept of people in love being able to read each other's minds.

- dreaming of kimchee: wasn't a fan of this one either. i just can't get into stories about people who seem to completely lack self-awareness lol.

- blood and water: this one was kind of beautiful. a story about changing as a person / finding your place in the world, finding love and fulfillment, being accepted.

this collection explores timing and healing and fate as they relate to spirituality and the supernatural. can't explain it but this book is so 90s lol. this is the second book i've read by this author and i just love her style and how real and relatable her stories are. i feel like she has something for everyone.

listened to

the glow, pt. 2 by the microphones (2001) (relisten)

first album of the new year! one of my few no-skip albums. it has such a wintery feel to me, but maybe that's just because it's a little depressing lol. enjoyed it on a long drive. hard for me to choose my favorites but here i go.

favorites: i want wind to blow, the moon, (something) - 1, the gleam, pt. 2, map, you'll be in the air, i felt your shape

planet her by doja cat (2021)

i'd heard most of the songs from this album before, but never gave it a straight-through listen until now. a lot of really good songs with only a few i had to skip. doja just kinda rules imo.

favorites: get into it (yuh), need to know, love to dream, been like this, ain't shit

sos by sza (2022)

a pretty even mix of good songs, bad songs, and in-between. i gotta say ghost in the machine might be the worst song i’ve heard in awhile. phoebe bridgers' voice does not belong on here, it just totally threw me off. this album was decent, but definitely didn't come close to ctrl for me.

favorites: low, notice me, smoking on my ex pack, nobody gets me, special, shirt

like..? by ice spice (2023)

i love ice spice and this album was decent. i can't wait to see what else she does, she's such a genius.

favorites: all of them??

memoryland by cfcf (2021) (relisten)

listened to this while working on applications. good ambience for me. i love electronic music and this is one of my favorite albums of that genre.

favorites: life is perfecto, suburbilude, night/day/work/home, gravure idol, self service 1999

nightlife by yuragi (2016) (relisten)

a short one. listened for working ambience.

favorites: soon, night is young

for granted by yaeji (2023) (single)

this is sooo so good and i can't wait for the album. love this artist.

everybody else is doing it, so why can't we? by the cranberries (1993)

not going to say anything that hasn't already been said. it’s so dreamy and sad and perfect. i just love this album and this group.

favorites: dreams, sunday, linger, i will always, put me down

heaven or las vegas by cocteau twins (1990)

listened to this in preparation for goth prom. another group that i just love and i hadn't yet listened to this from start to finish. apparently was heavily front-loaded for me. i’m looking forward to listening to more of their albums.

favorites: cherry-colored funk, pitch the baby, iceblink luck, heaven or las vegas

tomorrow is nearly yesterday and everyday is stupid by crywank (2015)

as individual songs i really liked them, and the titles are amusing. this is the type of music i listen to a lot. but listening to this start to finish as an album.. it kinda got boring and repetitive after a bit.

favorites: memento mori, song for a guilty sadist, if i were you i'd be throwing up, notches, only everyone can judge me, deep down i'm american werewolf

visions by grimes (2012)

closed out my january with this one by my favorite artist of all time. listened to celebrate its 11th anniversary!!

favorites: genesis, oblivion, be a body, symphonia ix (my wait is u), nightmusic, skin, know the way

︻╦╤─ ҉ -¨ * ♫‧₊˚*♡ * ☆ ♪*” ♡.

my media consumption has been kind of lacking this month due to working ft, applying to grad schools, life stuff, etc. hopefully february will be packed full of even more great stuff. thanks for reading!

02/04/23

#mediapost #january #2023

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carmenlire · 1 year

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i just read open like a hinge and its SO GOOD!! i absolutely loved how they wrote yeong's pov and the unrequited pining hurt SO good in the first chapter (even if you can tell gon definitely loves him) ugh and i loved the injured/comfort trope. i always wanted to see how gon would react to him being hurt and this was perfect. it just reminds me how in the show they set up a beautiful friendship in the first ep and mostly dropped it until the end UGH they shouldve developed it more fr

omg ISN'T IT SO GOOD dksfjghskdfjg!!!!!!! I love that yeong was allowed to be petty and passive aggressive because, i think, at the end of the day yeong is human and he was dealt a shit hand in the face of his unrequited feelings and i ADORED how they portrayed his character. the fact that there was a smidge of internal homophobia but ultimately yeong knows who he is and what he wants and has grown into a man unapologetic about his desires while also knowing that he will never have the opportunity to be with the one person who wants most in the entire universe(s) is so compelling.

i also think the author did a seriously phenomenal job showing gon reacting to yeong being hurt!!!!!!!! like it's literally everything i wanted!! the way he had his feelings realization!! the way you just see the image of him carrying yeong to the ambulance! that he didn't leave yeong's side! that he's so mad that yeong keeps saying it's his duty and better him than gon!! and the way he arranges the entire trip and THEN gets so goddamn upset when yeong keep disregarding himself just to continue serving gon!!! the angst? the emotions? were so well handled because you have these two men who have lived for over twenty years in each other's spheres and there's so much unsaid and their perceptions are so human because they are just that-- their own facts not objective, never, not when it comes to the person who means the most to them!!!!

yeah, i don't know how i'm ever going to watch tkem all the way through a third time because i feel like with the second rewatch my brain exploded and i can never unsee the relationship between gon and yeong and what could've been. and ignoring my shipping self for a moment, it's like you said-- these two men were set up to be best friends. gon is the only one yeong lives for and yeong is gon's guiding light, the only person he's let in and in the face of tae-eul and a heteromantic relationship they totally disregarded that.

all of which to say-- i come bearing two more fic recs lol. like i said in my message last night, i have no idea if you'll like these but i read them in october and they devastated me and i've spent the better part of the week rereading them and they devastated me once more and i think this author also does a fabulous job of dissecting these characters-- their emotions, their flaws, the thoughts. good and bad-- and it left me just really content in a melancholic way.

both of these are yeong/sin-jae/hyeonmin

El monstruo en la almohada

this one is one that i reread thursday and most of yesterday. i love how the aftermath of what yeong (and sin-jae) is handled and it's just a fic that's very healing. i also appreciated exploring gon and yeong's friendship-- exactly in light of who gon is and how he treated yeong, especially leaving him in the republic for months with everything that lead to.

Heridas Abiertas (Exit Wounds)

i reread this tuesday? it shares similarities/parallels to the above fic but i love that the author had different ideas on how the aftermath could go and then wrote both of them!!! because yeong is such an interesting character, i would read a dozen fics that are just slightly different just to explore all the possibilities. in this one, his relationship with gon is different to the first and i really liked seeing how things can change such important relationships or how they can manage to stay the same through it all.

like I mentioned, my headspace hasn't been the best and both of these fics catered to that. i obviously don't know how you are but i just would recommend these for anyone who liked tkem because they're both gorgeous pieces of writing and also for anyone who might be feeling a little sad or lost or hopeless or empty or generally melancholic <3

#thank you for sharing your thoughts on open like a hinge!!!#do you have any kdrama recs? do you watch a lot of kdramas?#asked #answered #se anon #anon #tkem fic

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hoodoobarbie · 3 years

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The mythology of the Siren, Mermaid, Water Spirits & Mami Wata and it’s origins within black feminity.

Today I had to listen to other another black woman rant about how mermaids/sirens/mami wata are evil low key. So this educational post was born in response.

Did you really think the divine essence of the black feminine wouldn’t protect itself ? That energy exists for a reason. Suddenly it’s evil, to have teeth and protect yourself from predators. Water is a precious resource. You will be tested to see if you are deserving of it or not. Also these spirits will defend natural resources so they don’t get fucked up by human greed.

It’s common for some places in Africa for people to offer the Sirens/Mami Wata/Water spirits or make an offerings/contracts with them in order to use the resources on their land. It also keeps the white ppl away too because they cause so much trouble.

Sirens are also associated with being the killers of children and men, but often this is completely misrepresented intentionally.

Men fear the power of the siren because she can override the patriarchy at core and can completely unravel them. The orgins of many water spirits lie in matriachal societies, temples divine feminine and motherhood. This is why temples and sacred magikal knowledge was intentionally destroyed and stolen, especially to empower the white patriarch.

Sirens are also described as thiefs of children and child killers. Sirens have been known to kidnap kids who were being abused or have were murdered near water and take them to their kingdom to restore them.

Sometimes the child returns, sometimes they are not. However in general they are big on kidnapping people, mostly women and giving them powers, if they decide to return. The idea of them eating and killing children, was a lie perpetuated by Greeks to cover up some truly horrific acts. Unfortunate these false accusations have been allowed to continue to perpetuate.

If a siren is acting in a predatory way, there is a reason why as their energy as been disturbed. Sirens are natural guardians.

So the real question is . . . what did you do ? Did you destroy their habitat ? Abuse a child or a person ? Commit an egregious act against a woman ie rape/murder etc ? Disrespect a sacred place, the land, the seas or rivers ? Steal precious resources that weren’t yours to take ?

These sacred traditions are more than just deities, spirits and our ancestors. All forms of ATR are access to our spiritual mind state as an entire community. When you move in Vodou, you can sense the whole of black consciousness and all of our problem spots, specifically areas that need healing.

Oxum-Oshun, Olokun, Yemaya, the Mami Wata, La Baliene, La Siren, Met Agwe, The Simbi - these are all spirits with a connection to waters. Water is life and has always been inherently associated feminine energy. I’m not going into detail about all these cross connections but let’s chat about La Sirene, specifically.

La Sirene, Queen of all Mermaids is more than just a powerful sorceress and queen of song/music and dreams, she is also a keeper of secrets an a guardian of sacred memories & knowledge.

Many of the souls of slaves, from the Transatlantic slave trade that were thrown off the boats into the ocean are her children, citizens and warriors now. She comforts them eternally & they live in paradise. That doesn’t mean all of these souls are at rest, plenty continuously ask their mother if they will be avenged, especially the young children. She also has a close connection with the Indigenous Taino. The isle of Hispaniola also known as Haiti (Ayiti) & the Dominican Republic is her most known domain.

Let’s not act like slavery and colonization was a cake walk. Rape was common place and mermaids, water spirits offered African and Indigenous women protection and power over men. They became demonized overtime for their hypnotic powers and killing men, who often overstepped their boundaries. Women could leave offerings to these spirits, work or commune with them and be quickly avenged or gain great power and wealth. All of this was threatening to the white patriarchal standard.

La Sirene’s presence in Haiti and other merfolk tales that float around the Caribbean/West Indies, is not without purpose. She has ties to many people and many different cultures. Her sacred symbols are global. This is why I speculate she is much older than people think. La Sirene, is a fairly young evolution. She clearly has ties to much older things. Her older names might have been lost but she has evolved, to save her self and also document other forgotten elements of history in the process. There are those who speculate that La Sirene is the embodiment of a cross mixed culture, the evolution of Indigenous & African water spirits combined, due to the excess trauma of colonization and so the Mermaid Queen was born. Others will argue that she is the Orisha Yemaya but a newer avatar of her. I hate to argue semantics but I will say this, she exists and her presence is felt to this day, all around the world.

La Sirene is often depicted as a mulatto woman with eyes like the sea but if you have been blessed to see her in dream state, she does appear sometimes as a brown or dark skinned skinned woman of possibly mixed Indigenous/African ancestry with glowing hypnotic eyes. Alot of her older depictions, deal with colorism and slavery, but as things have grown in the modern world this imagery has begun to change. However mermaids, are known for their shapeshifting powers - to truly behold her true form, is a gift reserved for the rare few.

As a keeper of the mysteries, La Sirene also access to many forgotten things in the black subconscious. The element of water is an intensely psychic sign. Water is her domain, and what is the human body 80% of? WATER! The truth does not hide from her hypnotic eyes. This sacred connection to water and her essence, also means you can track forgotten elements black history and connect to other deities/cultures who’ve had contact with her & her whole court or other black water spirits as a whole. So let’s take a short historical trip down memory lane.

The Greeks & Black women. Sirens, Aphrodite, Sibyls and other Children of Water 🧜🏾‍♀️

The deity Aphrodite/Venus is of Grecian and Roman legend.

A little known magikal fact is that Aphrodite/Venus is half siren. She is a child of the water, she was literally birthed this way after Uranus got his balls cut off & thrown into the sea. Much of her Venusian influence and powers of love and beauty come from this element. Now my Mambo doesn’t like mentioning it but Aphrodite, is tolerated by the oceanic court of sirens/mermaids. Any child of water, falls under the domain of the queen. La Sirene has a sort of strange fondness for her and so does Aphrodite for her. However this doesn’t mean they are best friends. It’s tentative friendship at best and comes with some perks. Aphrodite works quickly for children of water sirens and often will send mermaids to her devotees who misbehave. She has deliberately placed me around her people have pissed her off, to cause mischief. She’s quite petty but also very generous. I won’t go as far to dare and say she is in the queen’s court, but she does curry favor with the queen. Being born of water, her half siren/mermaid influence has definitely attributed to legends of her beauty in myth but also her treachery with men 🧜🏾‍♀️😂. She clearly also has some sort of homesickness for the world underneath the water, because many of her offerings are gifts of pearls, kisses, sea shells, beauty products etc. Anyone who serves the Mermaid Queen knows the meaning behind those gifts. If you’re a black gyal with water or siren energy and decide to work with Aphrodite, do it! If you ever irritate her, the least she’ll do is give you pimples and fuck up your skin, she won’t have the full power to completely fuck up your love life like she does with the white girls. And let me tell you, she has completely ruined some white girls lives by giving them terrible lovers or men.

The trident 🔱 is known for its connection in Greek and Hindu cultures. However La Sirene or other African water spirits are depicted carrying it, which is largely ignored in the occult world.

You can track the trident in Hinduism, with the serpent spirits, the nagas or Lord Shiva but let’s focus on it’s Grecian connection. The usage of the trident and Poseidon, even in mainstream society today is associated with him. This lets us know there is a connection between the mermaids, merfolk and La Sirene/African water spirits. Poseidon’s trident was rumored to made in Athens by the Cyclops - this is the city of Athena. So now we can track an element of black history all the way to Poseidon & Athena. Keep that in your thoughts we’ll come back to that later.

Tridents were also used ceremonially in Africa & India as well, as scepters, tribal weapons and religious symbols.

They were also associated with the sea faring people and fishing. It’s highly likely the origins of the trident are cross mixed between these two societies. Indo-African relations, go back to the Bronze age and the Indus Valley civilization. Which means traveling over by sea to reach each other was necessary. There is historical evidence of African millet being found in a Indian city Chanhudaro, including a cemetary or burial ground for African women. Maritime relations between these two groups existed before Grecian & the Egyptian Ptolemaic dynasties.

Now of course there are some deranged historians that will try to whitewash history and say the trident has its origins from the labyrs but the Ancient Greeks & Africans/Indians interacted regularly. The trident also looks nothing like a labyrs, which is quite literally a double sided axe. This is one of the more painful obvious pieces of white washing and historical revisionism.

Regardless, the trident is associated with water, ceremonial/religious purposes, fishing, battling in the coliseum and the symbol of power for a few African, Black diasporian an Hindu deities.

🧜🏾‍♀️ Oracles & Sibyls

Some sibyls/oracles were known to be African prophetesses/Mamissi to the Mami Wata/Sirens in Africa, some were stolen or captured by Greeks or Romans, sold into slavery and made to be oracles, some of whom became quite famous in legend. Their connection to these water spirits, is what gave them their gift of prophecy. Not every sibyl or oracle was African but SOME were. This lead to the sharing and theft of sacred knowledge. It’s likely these women shared this sacred information, with their colleagues, some whom may or may not have been enslaved or kept in these temple and likely this information was traded, for their freedom, power or money etc. This gave way to the usage of sacred spirits and magick being used by men. A great example of this is the snake spirits of the genii, genius spirits (not to be mistaken with genies) and which then evolved into a diluted lesser energy in Greek society being known as daemons (not to be confused with goetic demons) Instead of a woman commanding these specific energies/spirits, the patriarchs decided that these specifics powers were only worthy of being used by men. These spirits were whitewashed, adopted into their religious practices and said to only be given to men at birth. No woman was allowed to possess them anymore.

🧜🏾‍♀️ The whitewashing of Medusa & Lamia.

In mainstream society these two women stories have been white washed but also to hide a very shameful history and narrative. These two were beautiful women, in older stories of black black mythology were known to be black and they were children of water & daughters of the powerful water spirit/snake/siren divine mother/feminine goddess.

Medusa was raped by the GREECIAN GOD OF THE SEA, POSEIDON and Athena covered it up, refused to avenge her and punished her by making her ugly to everyone. It’s speculated in several magikal circles that the snakes in her hair were actually dreads, due to their lack of understanding of black hair and also allegorically might have been a reference to her devotion to the fish or water snake, great mother goddess. A child of the divine feminine, mother goddess was assaulted in a temple by a man and a woman covered it up & celebrated it.

Let’s start there ... cuz this story says a lot! It’s one of the first historical cases in myth that really documents the issues that surround the black feminine specifically and it was intentionally whitewashed. Then to add insult to injury, Athena made her hideous to all men and her chopped off her head and used as a symbol of protection but also a subtle sign of disrespect to the fullest. This still goes on to this day.

In fact ALGOL, the demon star, which is considered to be strongest protective magick talisman in the occult world today is the HEAD OF MEDUSA. The child of water! BITCH! This energy is invoked constantly and the spirit of medusa is never allowed to rest.

However these egregious acts did not come without a price. Athena at time was a goddess of fertility. However desecrating a child of water or the sirens, is seen as an attack by the divine feminine and can will cause people to be afflicted with fertility and other mental health issues as well. This is speculative but it’s also likely that after this they were constantly visited by droughts, floods or repeating issues with water sanitation & purity after this. Lowered fertility rates and miscarriages might be more prominent, for Athenians and Athena devotees & likely continues to this day.

Devotees of Athena may also develop severe issues when it to their mental health because of this connection. They completely lose touch with their feminine energy and become extremely misogynistic after continued work with her.

Not only did Athena, cause Medusa to be seen as hideous throughout the land but she celebrated when she was murdered and proudly wore Medusa’s decapitated head on her shield. From the feminist eye this virgin deity/woman was extremely male identified and adhered to the patriarchal standard. She was tested by the divine feminine and failed.

Even more strange, Athena’s birth allegorically proclaims her essential character: her wisdom is drawn from the head of a male god; the bond of affection between father and daughter; her championship of heroes and male causes, born as she was from the male, and not from a mother’s womb. A dreaded goddess of war, she remained a virgin and a servant of the patriarchal society and remains so to this day. She is the misogynistic cool girl and very asexual at the core. In fact if you explore more of her mythos, it becomes very clear she hates women. I’m bewildered at how she has become associated with lesbians and the feminine at large, when it’s been very clear that she was intent on transcending her gender from the very beginning, but never managed to escape it.

To top it off, I’ll leave you with this quote from Aeschylus’ Oresteia by Athena:

“There is no mother anywhere who gave me birth, and, but for marriage, I am always for the male with all my heart, and strongly on my father’s side. So, in a case where the wife has killed her husband, lord of the house, her death shall not mean most to me.”

Queen Lamia was a said to incredible beauty who seduced Zeus, (a literal man whore) which as made Hera jealous. Hera cursed Lamia with infertility and insomnia. She went insane and is said to have killed her own children and ate them. Zeus is said to be the one who gifted her prophecy and gave her the ability to take out her eyes, so she would not be irritated at the site of other happy mothers.

She became associated with a child eating monster who was half woman and half snake, which ties into the Libyan snake cults. She was associated with phantoms, the shapshifting laimai or empusai and the daemon spirits.

Medusa and Lamia were Libyan by heritage and came from a place in Africa where temples to the water snake mother goddess & divine feminine were common before they were destroyed by invaders intentionally. These women likely had extreme gifts of seduction, mind control and other abilities etc. It’s highly likely that Queen Lamia used her powers of seduction, at the behest of her people to save them from colonization and was demonized for it. Zeus’s temple was in Cyrene in Lybia, so this is far more than an allegorical story. This may be a real life story that was disguised in mythos. Unfortunately deeper research into this subject has turned up many dead ends for me. It’s highly likely Medusa was a priestess of the the matriarchal Mami Watas or water goddess/snake spirits and was likely raped intentionally in Athena’s temple, as a show loyalty to the rising patriarchy by descrating the symbolism of the great mother and the divine feminine. This was likely an attempt to lessen power and status of the matriachal societies that existed at the time. Rape was common war tactic amongst colonizers and news of such disgrace would likely spread like wildfire. This also solidified Athena’s place amongst the male gods and gaining her their respect. Athena and her devotees went a step further to show their allegiance to the patriarchy, by stripping Medusa of her beauty supposedly and exiling her, then parading her decapitated head on shields, when going into battle likely with Libyan enemies.

This is just a brief explanation of a few horrific acts in history, which were whitewashed & explain why the essence of the black feminine has evolved to become more protective, predatory and fierce. She learned to defend herself. Now she kills those who threaten her.

Fun history tip: Usually anytime you see a snake in Grecian mythology, just know something got whitewashed, because the truth was really fucked up, made them look really bad & a black woman was there.

🧜🏾‍♀️ The black feminine is capable of more than you know.

Yes, mermaids/sirens/snakes & the mami watas can be scary at times but that’s what stepping into mysticism of deep waters is like. Water is capable of many things, it is one of the most powerful elements on earth. It can nourish you and kill you, and that’s the beauty of it really.

We should all be grateful the black feminine is so beautiful, fierce & scares the living daylights out of everyone.

You would be dead if it wasn’t.

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

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The morning and evening star | Johnny Suh

Johnny Suh x female!Reader

▸ too much fluff, too much smut, angst, prince of Egypt AU, slave reader ▸ Part of NCT Historical AU Collaboration hosted by @puppywritings ▸ In ancient Egypt, the Pharaoh is referred as “Morning and Evening Star”

Summary: Fighting the battles for his kingdom and for his ill father, Johnny, a prince of Egypt was given a beautiful gift the night before a great war starts. The given gift, which is you, gave the prince a very hard time but soon your heart softened the moment you allow yourself to get to know him. As you both fall in love sooner than expected, you thought that Johnny will give you your freedom but he can’t because that means letting you go. Johnny treated you as a gold and you became his most precious jewel. He kept you inside the palace, gave you a place to paint on and kept you in his life for as long as he can. But not long enough.

Word count: 8,441k Warnings: Smut, Smut, Smut, its a Johnny fic what do you expect?, mentions of slavery (if that bothers you, please click away), mentions of blood, mentions of death, mentions of sadness, self doubt, possessiveness, unprotected sex, oral sex (female), rough sex, slight exhibitionism, fingering, mentions of bruises, spitting. Mentions of other idols, and Johnny’s parents. Pregnancy, (if that bothers you please click away), mature themes, murder, family betrayal, mentions of gods bc hello its Egypt A/N: Pure fiction. Inspired by my favorite movies that I grew up watching with my family during family movie nights.. haha. (Troy, prince of Egypt, Exodus: Gods and kings, Tangled, and Gods of Egypt)

Taglist: @doyounglover @puppywritings @commentgirl @mischiefmakerliesmith5 @wonderfulkoreanpop @ethaeriyeol @suhpersonic @sunshinedhyuck @sighreal @jb-hope94

To William, thank you so much for this wonderful collab! I’m lucky enough to join last minute and I hope this fic gives justice to your wonderful collab. Thank you so much!

On a beautiful quiet night in Egypt, under the dark sky that's full of stars, a young prince is out on the terrace to look at his kingdom and admire it even with the slightest light. The moon shines beautifully and so he expects that that is a good sign that the night will be even more beautiful.

A royal banquet is waiting for his presence. Another gathering where the richest families in Egypt wish the young prince to bring peace, victory, and finally put an end to this war against the enemies.

“I can already feel the weight of my father’s crown mother, what should I do?” Johnny asks his mother as they accompany each other to the royal banquet.

“You do the right and wises thing, my son. Be a better pharaoh than your father,” his mother advises. Caressing his son’s face before they enter the room and telling him to have long patience with the ignorant people who are going to have a word with him tonight.

When everyone welcomed both the prince and the royal wife, they all cheered happily, shouting and howling for the prince while the blaring sounds of percussion and tambourine started playing. Men and women were always mesmerized by Johnny’s perfect built, architects and sculptors are dying to make him their inspiration and make him a big statue. Even the beauty of every gold he’s wearing in his body right now has no match for his natural handsomeness and godlike features.

“My son, who has fought many battles for me over my reign since I was declared ill, will be the one who will lead you to peace and victory,” he pats Johnny’s shoulder before he continues and looked to his assistants. “So before a great war starts tomorrow, I present to you this gift,” he nods and signals his assistant to bring it in.

And when people started to make way for the gift, loud grunts, and nonstop whining were heard across the room… while the people just watched the guards drag her in to be presented to the prince. “Amusement my prince,” one of the assistants says and pushed her further in front of the prince.

Johnny then lowered himself to check the gift that's been presented to him. Left and right he turned the girl’s face to admire it, and when he finally smirked because he liked the gift, the girl spits on his face. Loud whispers of shocked people surrounded the room, telling the girl that she has no respect for the prince of Egypt. Of course, Johnny can’t let his people see that it’s alright for a slave to disrespect him, and so he did something… something he’s not going to be proud of but will surely wow the people watching.

He grabbed a glass of wine, drank a mouthful and spit it on the girl’s face in front of everyone, and poured the remaining wine from his cup on her clothes. “Be careful slave” the prince says, pointing a finger that has a big golden ring around it to remind her who she’s talking to. “Dry her off and lock her in my room. Go,” he commands and the guards responded immediately.

The royal banquet carries on without even bothering further about the slave. Everyone drank delicious sweet wine, chattered nonstop about their richest and the things they desire in life and bid the prince of Egypt good night before they all went home.

But even though the night carried on as it should be, his mind can’t stop reminding him about the awful thing he did earlier. And so after the royal banquet, he asked for a tray of fruits and brought it to his room… for you.

Behind the thin curtains of his bed, he sees your silhouette and shook his head as a sign of disappointment to himself before he apologizes to you. He joined you in bed, sat so far away but still, he saw that no one tended to you, that no one helped you or even gave you dry clothes. “Why must you disrespect me like that?” Johnny left the question as he disappears for a minute and returned with a damped cloth and his sleeping robe. He hands it to you because he wouldn’t dare touch you without your permission, but instead of accepting the kindness that the prince is giving to you, you rolled your eyes at him, sat up and kept your distance.

“I’m sorry” he whispers but you heard it. “I may be a fool or I act tough in everyone’s eyes, especially my father’s but my mother did not raise me like that,” he added and reached for the damped clothed and came near you. Johnny wiped your face carefully like he is not the future pharaoh of Egypt and humbling himself for you.

After cleaning your skin, you shamelessly removed your clothes in front of him and looked straight into his eyes to search for lust and to finally finish this long night. And just like those men and women, architects and sculptors who lusted over his body, Johnny… lusted for you.

If you strip away every gold in Johnny’s body tonight, you will see goosebumps around his skin. He very much wants to have you tonight and pleasure himself but he still feels very guilty about what he did earlier. Almost as if he felt that he’s not worthy of you.

“If I give you pleasure tonight and have me as much as you want and as many as you like, will you free me?” you ask crawling near him wearing nothing but a cheap necklace. The prince then caressed your face, traced the curves of your body while looking directly into your eyes, showing you that he wanted to accept your offer so bad but not tonight.

“Tempting. But tonight, you rest” he says softly, trying so hard not to kiss you down the mattress and hurt you so good for the whole night. But even though he would rather do filthy things to you, he reached for his robe and made you wear it to bed. “May I be forgiven before I sleep tonight?” he says, smiling weakly and pushing you slowly to the mattress. He sat next to you while waiting for your answer.

“Only if you forgive me from what I did”

He chuckled and got up from the bed to leave you finally so you could get your rest. “Then it's settled. Let’s start again tomorrow when I come home… if… I’ll still be alive” he says, and left a sweet smile.

They say that men who will go to war the next day never get a peaceful sleep not unless they exhaust themselves from pleasure and eventually sleep like a baby. And that’s when you realized that the prince of Egypt sacrificed his sleep for you. Now you feel even more guilty because you took away his very chance to sleep peacefully for the last time… if he dies in battle tomorrow.

But for Johnny, knowing that he put a decent woman in bed and earned her forgiveness is better than pleasure or getting to enjoy lust before a battle. You were sleeping like a baby, he thought. The whole night he sat on the chair beside his bed, guarding you, and admiring you. Until the sun finally showed up and it's time for him to go.

The battle was bloody as expect but Johnny did not expect that their army will fall on the first day of the war. His soldiers needed to take him back to the palace and protect him from there, even though he wanted to fight until his dying breath. Not run like a coward and let his men die.

The soldiers brought him back safely, but Johnny was not pleased. He arrived at the palace furious and more than angry to his general that he yelled at the nurse who is supposed to treat his wounds and his maids to clean all the blood and dirt on his face and body. Johnny is hurt, physically but his pride is crushed, and that hurts even more than his wounds.

He was repeating the battle plan and their strategy in his mind over and over again to look for holes, to look for people to blame but he just can’t. Until eventually he fell asleep even though he’s in so much pain.

“You” the head of the nurses points at you, “you treat his wounds. Or else his majesty will die because of infection and it will be on your account “ she gave you the things you needed to treat a wound properly, complete expensive materials and ointments to heal the bruises faster but the problem is you don’t how to use them. You’re not stupid and you know a thing or two, but the person whom you’re about to treat is not just anybody, and that makes you nervous alone.

Quietly, you entered his room. It was cold and only a few candles are lit and you see his majesty curled up in a ball. Vulnerable, in pain, and suffering emotionally.

Before you even touch him, this scenario reminded you about his kindness the other night. How he touched you so delicately and how he wiped the traces of expensive wine on your skin so gently. Now it's your turn. You started by stripping off his armor, the golds, and silvers that protect him until he’s exposed with nothing but the minimal cloth that covers his manhood.

Carefully, you wipe away the dirt on his face until his handsomeness is visible again, closely you make sure you did not miss a spot and clean him well. Touching his big arms almost felt like you’re committing a great sin, his chest looked so strong even though it’s covered with bruises now which you’re going to take care of in a few minutes.

Then he wakes up and he sees you treating his wounds.

Glad to see that it’s you who’s taking care of him because for some reason you make him soft. He let out a sharp sigh and in an instant, you were shaking for you thought he will shout at you. But no. “I think I may have a broken bone, can you help me get up?” he weakly asks you.

“O-of course,” you slightly panicked but you did your best to support him with all your strength.

“Give me some water,” he says and you followed, helping him drink so he wouldn’t move too much. "You know you’re not a maid here. You’re a gift. A gift to me” he says sternly like he wanted you to take his pride. “Thank you. For taking care of me in my vulnerable state, sleep beside me I’m in pain”

And without hesitation, you did. This time, it's you who’s guarding him to his sleep. Although it hurts you to watch him suffer like this, you didn’t have a choice but to further take care of him.

On the next day, the nurses treated him the right way and adjusted his broken bones which made him feel better in an instant. You thought you will be released by then because you’re completely useless to his majesty, but you realized that he’s only keeping you for his pleasure and nothing has happened between you two yet.

So in the meantime, you decided to make yourself useful and learn the basics of treating a wound and make sure you know exactly what you’re doing whenever his majesty feels any discomfort.

He healed for days. Did not speak for days. And still, he hasn’t touched you. Oh you wish he would already so you can guarantee your freedom. Your family should be worried by now and probably thinks that you’re already dead. You can’t help but think about your family, your ill father and your younger brothers who need you, in which you can only sigh as you think about it while you take a breather at the palace terrace.

“I bring good news,” a voice disturbed you and your thoughts, “we are winning the war,” he said weakly.

“Ah. But you don’t sound so pleased? May I ask why?” you turned around to face the prince and slowly came closer to him.

“Because I am here resting and healing while my men fight in the war when I should be leading them” the disappointment in his voice is obvious. He pulled you closer to seek comfort, holding you by the waist and keeping himself calm by smelling your unique scent.

“Lead them once more when you’re healed. For now, rest so you can go in battle with them again. You’re next to your father, and if you die on that battlefield then who will lead us?” bravely you soothed his strong back, feeling him shiver once your fingertips made contact with his skin and your warm palm gives him great calm.

“You remind me of one specific person,” he says, and you wonder if it's one of his lovers, “you remind me of my mother. Who is a great queen of Egypt” and right then and there you feel guilty for judging a loving son who respects his mother so much. Hearing those words from him made you happy and proud of yourself because now you feel useful.

He pulls away from his soft embrace and looked deeply into your eyes, asking for permission to do something to you but he’s not saying anything. It’s his eyes who are doing the talking. “You may,” you said and let out a nervous giggle before the prince finally planted a kiss on your lips.

A kiss that’s wet and quick but made your whole body warm and you wish he would kiss you a little longer but who are you to request?

“I’ll take you somewhere private,” he said when he stopped the kiss and smirked.

And so in the middle of the night, you followed the prince to that private place he told you. Hand in hand you walk in the dark, exchanging whispers when you ask him something and he answers you.

“Close your eyes” he whispers and you followed immediately. Feeling him walk away for a few seconds and then he’s right behind you, feeling him motion you towards somewhere. And when you opened your eyes, what you just saw took your breath away.

A sky full of stars shining brightly and beautifully. You can’t take your eyes off of the sky because you’ve never seen anything like this and even though your neck already feels tired from looking up, you look a little bit longer and savor this very moment. “So this is where the prince of Egypt go whenever he’s tired? I assume?” you asked, smiling like a fool because you’re still mesmerized.

“Yes. This is where I think, hum a few songs, and be myself. No judging eyes, no wars- it’s quiet right? The only part of the palace where it’s really quiet. When I become pharaoh my room will be placed here and I will curse who dares to ruin my peace” he giggles to himself and points at the nearly done construction. The future bedroom of the new pharaoh, big, lavish, and peaceful. It suits him.

“I’m so tired of worrying and thinking about the future” he admitted weakly, closing his eyes and resting his head on yours. Embracing you from behind and caging you with his strong arms. Of course, this bold move made you nervous, the prince of Egypt is keeping you in his arms right now, who wouldn’t?

“Then you must rest,” you said and he only hummed and let out soft sighs.

“Can I have not only your lips but your whole being too?” he asked with the utmost care, careful not to offend you or make you feel like a whore. Then suddenly you feel his lips on your skin, cold lips that felt heavenly, soft lips that you imagine to be on yours. but he’s placing sweet kisses on your neck that made you gasp sharply, close your eyes and accept what he’s doing.

With heavy breaths and soft moans, you try so hard to let out a few words “Do you even need to ask? You’re the morning and evening star you should do as you please,” you croak.

And because you have given him your consent, his kisses became intense that you’re sure you felt his teeth brush on your skin. And because of the pretty sounds that he’s making it is very much obvious that he is enjoying himself especially now that his big hands are roaming free around your body. Kneading your breast and telling you that they’re soft while his mouth is near your ear and he nibbles your earlobe as he pleases.

He twirls you and made you face him before he devours your lips once again, kissing you with want and with a mixture of lust while motioning you towards the huge bed. He sat on the edge of the bed, making you stand still in front of him, “Virgin?” he asked shamelessly, you shook your head 'no' shyly. “Shame” he added before he stands up and removes his robe, exposing himself to you. Now you understand why everyone in Egypt lusts for him.

Gently he runs his hands on your shoulder, untying the knot that secures your dress and letting it fall down at your feet. “Beautiful,” he says.

The night wasn’t exactly hot but the prince made you sweat in bed the whole night. He was careful but all the things that he did to you were rough, he was very stressed and tired indeed. The way he kisses you, the way he bites your neck and mark you his, the way he holds you in place while he thrusts so roughly. All you can do is whine deliciously, groan and let out sharp gasps and heavy breaths.

Again, he was rough but you loved everything that he’s doing.

“Last one and I promise to give you rest,” he said with ragged breaths. Lips on the side of your face while his big hands knead your breast from behind and preventing you to fall on the mattress. You arch your back as much you can so you can manage to take the overstimulation and sensitivity but the prince is fucking you good that your knees are about to give up.

When he is so close to his sweet release, he pushed your body on the mattress and slapped your left ass cheek one too many times before he pulls out and pumps his cock away from your hole.

Weak. Tired and aching. You curl your body and hug yourself as you wait for the prince to cover you with his warmth again. But not long after he came down from his sweet release, he is holding you by the ankle and the next thing you know he is hooking his arms around your legs, spreading your folds and running his fingers on your wet slit while watching you lose your mind and beg for him. His tongue was heavenly and he was licking you slow like he’s waiting for you to calm down and accept the pleasure that he’s doing. Up and down, he licked you slow and listened to you wherever you want him on a certain spot. And when you had your sweet release and let out a high pitched moan, you did not beg for him to stop and you chose to overstimulate yourself.

“You sleep in my arms tonight,” he says, kissing you sweetly before he lies beside you and spread one arm to keep you close.

Although you're both exhausted and tired from pleasuring each other, that is not the reason why you and the prince stayed up until the sun is rising. The whole time, he was playing with your fingers, caressing your body and feeling his fingertips glide on your skin while he listens to you. Listening and not just hearing you talk. He was keeping the conversation with you, throwing you a lot of questions, hard and easy ones. It was his first time knowing someone he fucked.

“Tell me more” he says, leaving a kiss on your shoulder as you enjoy your comfort while you lie on your side and admire his godlike features. He was asking for more stories about your childhood because he didn’t have one. He was giving you kisses in exchange for your stories that make him feel alive and present in this world.

“Are you not tired?” you asked him with a smile.

“Talk until I fall asleep” he drags you near him so he can cage you with his strong arms and keep you close until he wakes up. He closes his eyes and waited for you to talk again, drawing small circles on your back so you know that he’s still awake.

“Paint, I love to paint,” you said, and told him stories about how the colors make you feel alive and whenever you paint, you feel free. You were talking and talking and talking until you got too carried away and did not notice that he had finally fallen asleep and you decided you should too.

In his arms, you slept well and dreamt about home. You see how your family welcomed you home and their faces were clear as day, almost as if you’re not dreaming. Ever since the prince showed you kindness, you’ve been sleeping better and for that you are thankful. But for now, your beautiful sleep needed to be disturbed for a very sweet kiss woke you up.

“You smile in your sleep,” the prince says, greeting you good morning and seeing his naked body first thing in the morning. You sat up from the mattress and covered yourself with the Egyptian cotton blanket, squinting your eyes to protect it from the bright sun. “Good morning my gift,” he greets you again, caressing your thigh under the blanket. Oh its too early to commit sin but the way he makes you feel good with his finger is inviting. “Spread your legs,” he says, and so you did.

Up and down he moves his two fingers in your very wet slit, you almost feel sorry for ruining these expensive sheets with your juices, but what can you do? The prince wants you soaked. “You were so amazing last night that I dreamt about you,” he came closer to you and removed his fingers to join you under the blanket and position himself in between your legs.

“You had me under the stars last night, are you going to have me under the sun too?” You asked with a playful tone, giggling under the covers with him and enjoying the closeness of your body. He is a big man, but his warm body feels good on top of you. Skin to skin, chest to chest, while his manhood is inside you. “You’re rather gentle now,” you added, letting out a soft moan and smiling weakly at him.

“It’s too early to be rough” he smiles and grabs your waist, thrusting deeper while he kisses your neck and marks you wherever he wants especially on your chest area, or swipe his tongue on you and devour your sweet lips.

“Thank you, I still ache from last night” you inform him, returning his sweet kisses with a smile and soft giggle that is soon replaced with a delicious moan.

“Apologies then, what do you feel now?” deeper and slower he goes. Making you feel every bit of him by stretching you so good while he holds your hand and kisses them while he thrusts. “Not going to l-last longer” he says and gave you a few sharp thrusts, making your breast bounce then did not hesitate to pull out and pumped his manhood away from you, ruining the expensive sheets with his thick cum.

He feels so warm and weak, groaning while you watch him pump his cock in front of you. What a sight. The prince looked so hot. All naked and glistening as the morning light shines upon him. “Do you know it's a crime to stare at me like that?” He asks with a smile. It was a joke but you can’t help but think that you’re lucky enough to see him like this, to look at him with lustful eyes to hold him whenever it pleases you.

“W-were not yet done?” you ask when you saw him spreading your legs again, oh his stamina is unbelievable. He didn’t answer your question but instead, he kisses your lower abdomen and kissed your body and breasts until he reaches your lips. And there’s that feeling again that the world is stopping whenever his lips touch yours, you like what’s happening and you don’t care if you’re not home anymore. Or maybe that’s the lust talking.

“Where did you learn how to kiss like that” it was not a question, he just simply wanted to let you know that your kisses do something to him. And while kissing you, the prince felt something he has never felt before. He was quite sure that it’s called admiration and want. He is slowly becoming possessive with every swipe of his tongue on your lips, he is slowly falling into your charms with every touch of your hands on his chest and the way your hands roam around like he is yours.

“I know I promised your freedom but can you stay a little longer?” he kisses your hands and kept them close to his heart. A gesture that is saying he is requesting, asking politely, and leaving you the decision because he respects you.

“I’ll stay” you answered without hesitation because it is what your heart wants. He has been nice to you, although he needed to put an act first but his true colors were inviting. “With two conditions,” you added, stopping him from attacking you with kisses.

“No lies and don’t die whenever you go to war,” you said sternly to which he’s very happy to hear.

After that beautiful morning, you and the prince spend your entire day naked in his comfortable bed, enjoying the lovely weather of Egypt and its calm breeze. Talking and exchanging stories, knowing each other deeper and accepting each other through honesty.

Then night after night the prince have you on every corner of his room or wherever he pleases. Making beautiful and lustful memories all around the palace. And whenever you’re both clothed and decent, he walks with you and shows everyone that you now have a special place in his life, something you’re never going to get used to but slowly it sinks in. You started dressing up in expensive clothes because he says so, giving you expensive jewelry all around your wrists and your neck. But most importantly, he is giving you more reasons to stay with him.

One fine day while you were waiting for Johnny with a book in your hand, he arrived very excited and was in a rush to bring you somewhere. Perhaps another secret place where he can fuck you? Or a surprise picnic? You really have no clue. But when you finally arrived at the place where he is very much excited to show you, every wild guess disappeared for you know exactly what the place is for.

Different colors of vibrant pigments, all came in different sizes. Paintbrushes from small to big ones made with soft hairs. And the canvas… is the place itself. “Johnny, this place is huge. I feel so small,” you said, feeling dizzy with how high the walls are but you are very much excited to paint on those.

“Paint all you want from now on, I know how you miss your home. I hope this will suffice” he gently pats your head, cup your face, and kissed you. “I have to go somewhere… dangerous again” he informs you, hoping to get a positive reaction from you.

Well, you can’t stop him and you know that all too well. You were quiet and if you’re being honest you don’t know what to say, but you do know that you want him to go home in one piece. “Remember your promise,” is all you can say to him.

“I won’t die” he giggles and intertwines your fingers with his.

When the prince left the next morning, you can’t help but worry for him and be scared that something bad might happen. But whenever you remember his bright smile when he promised you he won’t die, your heart warms instantly and you can finally get on with your day.

Using the gifts that the prince left you, you painted for hours and hours, from sun up until sundown. Sleeping on the floor next to the paints rather than the huge and comfortable bed because you can’t handle the cold there. And whenever you’re taking a rest from painting, you still spend your time alone rather than make friends and talk to the maids.

It was lonely when Johnny is not around. You don’t know when will he arrive, and worrying will do no good so you waited patiently instead. Day after day you did the same things. Paint, eat alone, be alone, paint some more and sleep on the cold floor.

Until finally, a pair of arms surprised you, encircled perfectly on your waist and you can finally feel that familiar warmth again. You put down the paintbrush and tried turning around to welcome him home with kisses but he stopped you. “I look filthy” he said, but you did not care and still turned around.

To your surprise, you almost did not recognize him. His face is full of dirt and blood, small and big bruises on his face but thankfully no broken bones this time. He was quiet. No sweet kisses for you and obviously he’s tired. “We both look dirty” he giggles and reached for your hand to wipe off the paint from it, “what you did here is beautiful” he said and pulls you to a hug which you returned without having second thoughts.

He recognizes your paintings. He is sure that it's from your home, memories from home to keep you happy perhaps. Johnny searched for anything or something that says you missed him too while he’s away, perhaps a sunflower? But he found none. Little did he know, that you missed him terribly too that you chose to sleep on the floor.

After your quick reunion, you washed his face, treated his wounds and decided to take a warm bath together. The silence was deafening and so you talked and talked until he finally says something.

“Do I make you happy?” he asks sincerely while scrubbing your back and pouring warm water on your skin. Bathing with him brings you a different kind of calm. You nod your head ‘yes’ to answer his question, caressing his thighs underwater. Then you feel him kiss your neck softly and encircle his arms on your waist underwater.

“I’m setting you free” he says.

And those words made your heart ache in an instant that you turned and faced him with worried eyes. You should be happy by now because finally you can be free and see your family, but why are you sad? He just came back and now you’re going to be separated again?

“But” he added which made you nervous even more.

“It pains me to let you go. That’s why I promise to take care of you and love you day and night… if you choose to stay” you always see him as an honest and sincere man but now his sincerity is different. It has a mixture of hurt and hopelessness like he already knew you’re going to leave him that’s why he made such an offer and confessed in the middle of a huge bathroom and while taking a bath.

“A few months ago, I told you I’ll stay and that’s not because I’m doing you a favor but because I really wanted to stay with you. I’m still choosing to stay-“

He cut you off with sweet kisses until water splashed on you and him, there are tears in his eyes but it wasn’t visible because of the water. Happy tears that only you can give him.

And that is how your story with Johnny started. It started with doing what your heart wants with all honesty, choosing to love each other and stay together. After that very momentous bath, he became Johnny to you and not the prince of Egypt, but the man you chose to love from now on.

YEARS LATER

Life with Johnny was never easy but it was full of love and he had kept his promise. Everyday, day and night he loved you more and more each day. And eventually, fucking was replaced by passionate love making which something you both love doing.

“So good” he groans and lets out soft moans while you bounce your body on top of him, driving him crazy and make him beg for more. You intertwined your fingers with his, sucking his fingers while your roll your hips deliciously. He can be rough with you in order to drive him mad, but you, you need only lustful eyes, your womanhood, and your tongue.

“Ooooh-“ he groaned a little louder than before and shoots his thick cum inside you while you drill your hips make sure you won’t miss a drop. “I hope you get pregnant this time” he said with ragged breaths, encircling his arms around you and placed sweet kisses on your face and on your lips.

You’ve been trying to have a child now but the gods are not in favor of it, so you and Johnny decided to try until you succeed. Usually, one round is not enough for the both of you but when you both realized that it’s going to be like this forever, there is no need to exhaust yourselves anymore because you can simply make love again tomorrow.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how many babies are we going to have in the future?” your question made him laugh. The sound of his giggles vibrates on your body because you’re too close with each other and you can’t help but laugh with him too.

“A lot,” he simply answers your question and kisses you before he covers your body with a thicker blanket.

Life with Johnny is sweet, not because you’re now comfortable and he showers you with gold. But because he showers you with the love you deserve and he now takes care of your family too and even provided your father’s medicine. Even though you haven’t seen them in years, now they know that you’re in good hands for you write to them and let them know that you’re well. But for Johnny’s safety, you didn’t dare tell them that you are in a relationship with him.

It may be sweet and comfortable for you, but it is not always like this. Of course, there are hard times that you have to face with Johnny. Like when his advisors see you as his whore and not someone whom he truly loves, when his father did not accept you and almost took away Johnny’s right to the throne, and when you planned on running away so the people around him can stop doubting him as the future ruler. All these problems but Johnny chose you. Always.

“I love you”

He whispers and caressed your face while watching you sleep. Having one last look before he starts his day without you and faces yet another stressful day.

Now that his coronation is getting near, many people have been seeking his attention and had been trying to rebel against him. He may be a great fighter, and he honors the throne, but the people around him do not see him as someone who can rule and solve the nation’s problems.

Heartbroken. That’s what he feels when he thinks about being king in the next few weeks.

“My uncle and cousins are active lately, seeking the people of Egypt’s hearts, courting them, and feeding them lies. My own family... is planning to overthrow me” he informs you. Frustrated and stressed beyond you could have ever imagined. It pains you to see him like this.

“I am no advisor. But be strong my love and still do your best to rule, prove them wrong” you encourage him, trying your best to give him strength. But all he gave you is a sly smile and a kiss on the forehead, leaving you to go and study more about the things he should know for his kingdom until eventually, you find him asleep on his desk. Shivering from a cold night and all you can do is put a blanket around him.

After a few weeks, Johnny is crowned king of Egypt. A celebration that’s very beautiful but you’re not allowed to stand near him because you’re a slave and people will recognize you. But you know all too well that Johnny imagines you being on his side.

They say that the crown is naturally heavy but if it weighs too much that even your heart can’t carry it, then you are not fit to rule. And that is exactly what Johnny feels right now, but trying is the most important thing for him. Running away from his duty is not him. He will continue to try and be a better pharaoh than his father.

“Where have you been?” you giggle and soothe his strong arms that are encircled around your waist. Accepting the kisses he’s giving to you for it has been far too long since the last time you’ve been together alone. He had been working hard for his nation, he looked tired than ever.

“It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful” he says while looking at the sunflowers you painted on the walls. A thousand sunflowers for the gods, in exchange for Johnny’s safety… or a child, if they permit. “I visited our room last night, but you weren’t there. I knew you were here but I needed to go already. I’ve missed you so much” he turned your body so he could see you finally, cleaning your hands full of paint with his own clothes. A gesture that simply tells you that whenever he’s with you he’s just a simple man who loves you so much and not the king of Egypt.

“I’ve been sleeping on the floor. I’m in a rush to finish this so I can finally offer something to the gods and they can grant me my wish” you rake his long hair away from his face.

“Now, now, that’s not how a future queen of Egypt should behave, my love” he smirked and you rolled your eyes, picking up the used paintbrushes and cleaning them.

Then you realized he said something.

“Say that again, my love” you request as you watch him come closer to you with a smile. “Was that a question? You never addressed me as someone-“

“Will you marry me? Be the queen of Egypt and become my wife? Be my best advisor, help me to be a better man?” he finally said it. Straight forward and will all honesty, as always.

“Y-yes. Of course, I would like to be your wife. But your people won’t allow it,” you answered excitedly. Eyes with tears that continuously flow. He cupped your face and thanked you for saying yes, not caring about your concern for he doesn’t care what others will say.

The celebration of being engaged is continued in your shared room with wine, fruits, hope, and dreams. It was a night a fun night with your future husband where you enjoy the company of each other after such a long time. Johnny made sure that you made the right decision and promised you a better life.

“What more could be better? We have everything already Johnny” you put a grape in his mouth before you lie beside him.

“What was your prayers to the gods again?” he asks, out of nowhere. To be honest you did not expect he would be interested. “Maybe I can give it to you instead?” he added and it instantly made your heart full.

“My first prayer is, for your safety wherever you go. Nothing scares me the most than knowing that wherever you go, your life is always in danger my love” he tightens his embrace, silently thanking the gods for bringing you into his life.

“And the second?”

You breathe deeply first before you answer him, “A baby… but your safety comes first” you said sternly, pointing at his chest and drilling your pointer finger on his skin so he knows how scared you are. He caught your hand and kiss it one too many times.

“I love you, I promise to be careful so we can make babies during our marriage,” he promised sincerely.

On the next day, Johnny’s first agenda was to tell everyone about the good news. At least its a good news for him, but not for everyone. His father, advisors and other members of the elite society were disappointed upon hearing that he wants to marry a slave.

When Johnny became king, all of Egypt starved. That’s why everyone thinks that being married to a slave and throwing a big wedding is not appropriate.

“Do you think I’m a pushover? I am the morning and evening star, your king, and I kept this nation together and kept it safe with all my power. You owe me your lives. And I am not seeking your approval, I am simply telling you that I am to be married to the woman I love. Besides, I don’t want to see your faces on my wedding day and ruined it for me”

Silence ate the room and only the sound of afternoon winds surrounds the room. “Dismissed” he commands and they immediately left, leaving Johnny alone with his thoughts.

The wedding was simple and private because it is what you wanted and thankfully Johnny is not a fan of grand celebrations too. You both thought that the gods will spare your wedding day and give you a peaceful day just this once. But no, because a murder took place in the palace and it happened while you and Johnny are enjoying your wedding night.

He is deep inside you, thrusting roughly but with care at the same time. Hands on your waist to keep you in position as he fucks you from behind and leave kisses on your shoulders.

You were moaning so good, while you grip the sheets and part your lips, telling your husband how you feel and beg for more.

Until his advisors entered the room uninvited and have no care for privacy. Johnny quickly covered your body and hid you behind him. “YOU HAVE NO RESPECT!” He shouted so loud that you were sure everyone in the palace heard him.

But still, his advisors did not move an inch and waited for him to stop shouting.

“Our king... y-your parents have been murdered”

And that is when everything turned black in Johnny’s eyes. He put on his robe, ran towards his parent's room and saw the gruesome murder.

He didn’t understand why but he was heartbroken and very much angry that he punished all the guards on duty that night and everyone staying at the palace except you.

Well, you wouldn’t think that you’re not being punished. You’ve been feeling sick for days already and you have been having morning sickness more often. Then you realized you haven’t bled yet and immediately called a nurse, a good friend whom you can trust to confirm if you are with child.

You are.

And that is your punishment. Knowing that your prayer has been answered but Johnny is grieving and is away from you. Not seeing your husband and knowing that he’s out there punishing people, punishing innocent people makes your heart break. Apparently, asking for a peaceful life is too much.

Finally, Johnny found out who plotted his parent’s murder. And it is no other than his cousins who wanted him to give up the throne. And because of that, his anger grew much worse. Now he does not only punish people but also put them to death for Johnny believes that he is being betrayed by the people around him.

It has become the darkest time in Egypt.

“The is the only place that I can show my weak and grieving side. I’m so tired, my love. This is not me but all of Egypt is mad and wants to kill me. What can I do?” You hush him and gave him a tight embrace which he accepted and returned. “Do you want to kill me too?” He asks you and you can’t believe you’re hearing this from him.

“Never. I did not paint a thousand sunflowers for the gods so that I can wish you to be gone” you sat on his lap and reached for his hand, putting it above your belly. Hoping that he understands what you’re saying.

He did. But he wasn’t happy.

And all you can do is understand him because he is going through so much right now.

“The gods must hate me so much to give us a child during these dark times” he said bitterly.

You didn’t have a choice but to get up from his lap and place a kiss on his temple. You may miss him. So much. But it is useless to have a conversation with someone who’s full of hatred towards the world.

“I’m sorry, my love. I’m blinded with anger” he tried reaching for your hand but you refuse and lie on your side of the bed. Closing your eyes and remembering the happy memories you had with him over the years.

“Do you know what’s on my mind?” you did not answer him, “I would like to give up the throne and live a simple and fruitful life with you but I can’t. Kings don’t run away from battles” he says. Keeping you close and leaving kisses on your clothed stomach. Chanting apologies and saying how much he loves you before you both sleep.

Day after day, Johnny became even more scared for you and especially for your child. Now that you have a chance to be a family, Johnny is even more obsessed with fixing everything using his own ways but everything is not going according to plan. The assassins weren’t satisfied yet and they have been killing innocent people that Johnny trusts. And his cousins won’t admit the crime that they have been doing for Johnny lacks proof. It frustrates him greatly.

Now that you’re with child he stays with you from sun up, to sundown. He doesn’t care if people are uncomfortable with seeing the king with a slave, all that matters now is your safety. He is scared to the bone that he carries his sword around him and does not go to sleep so he could guard you in your sleep.

“I used to do this during your first nights here. I guard you in your sleep and watch you smile as you dream. But that’s maybe because back then we have peace. I’m sorry I can’t give you a peaceful life”

As Johnny continues to think of many ways on how to protect you, he kept you hidden in your museum and watched you paint. It calms him. And as he looks around the place, he looked long and hard at your artwork and remember the days when you used to miss home. Then he realized that it is the only way to keep you safe. The only problem is you will not agree on it.

“You do know that when I leave and they found out that you’re all alone now, they will not stop until they kill you then take your throne” you said sternly. Hearing his plan about sending you home makes you angry and misses him already.

“As long as I fight until the end. The only way to stop them and keep you safe is to give them the satisfaction of killing me. No one knew about our child, please listen to me my love. This is the only way that I can give our child a peaceful life” he begs.

You don’t want to admit that he is right and you don’t have any other choice now. But leaving him pains you greatly, that even just thinking about it scares you.

Eventually, you and Johnny plotted your escape and made you go home safe. With the help of your family and a few soldiers, they managed to get you out of the palace without anyone noticing it. But you can’t let go of Johnny’s hand. You kissed and kissed until there's no more time left to be together. You said your goodbyes and final promises to each other and accept your fate.

“I’ll find you in our second life, whatever happens. Live my love, live happily” he says and removed your tight grip before he disappears with his soldiers. And that is your last memory of the man you loved.

It was the darkest moment for the both of you.

Johnny knew that being away from you will not be easy and it will make him weak in an instant. In fact, it made him crazy. Everyday, he goes to your museum and seeks comfort with your paintings. Constantly thinks about you and pray that you are well and healthy.

“Finally, you’re safe” he murmured.

After a few days, the news that the king is dead has spread all across Egypt and everyone celebrated. Everyone except you and the few people who knew the truth about the assassination in the palace. Hearing them celebrate sickens you for they don’t know how Johnny struggled to keep his nation alive and safe and that he is not the enemy, the true enemy is the one sitting on the throne now.

Hearing that he was assassinated in your museum broke your heart for you knew that he longed for you until his dying breath.

After all, the thousand sunflowers you painted for the gods did not go to waste. But it was your second wish that they granted and not the first.

556 notes · View notes

hitoshisbabygirl · 3 years

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Author's Notes ♡:Sooooo I wrote this once with no mythological background and it was so blank because one I half read and two it had no pizzazz. So here I am...enjoying this collab wholeheartedly. For some context the readers dad is Dionysus, yknow the festive, wine maker? So I tried to incorporate that with being a potions maker! Rappa is based on a mix between Behemoths and the Kusarikku, so i wanted him just a big and a bull man hybrid but not fully a Minotaur! I hope whoever reads this enjoy it as much as I did writing it! (Also I’m slowly realizing how much I hope this man)~ bunny ❥

Here’s the lovely masterlist of the others beautiful arts!

Warnings : NSFW again! (◎_◎;)

A use of pet names l, uh some heavy size kink (if you know who I based him on, also is one of my kinks showing yet) , Needy Rappa, breeding, Light cursing, a bit of a pussy job, female oral and a bit of overstimulation.

Word count : About 6.5k (ooof) !

Paring(s) : Bullman! Kendo Rappa x F!Reader

Summary : Being a demigod had perks, you could travel, you had god and goddesses as siblings and family members and of course the power! But what happens when you have to help a stubborn farm...pet?

Enjoy ♡

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Growing up as a demigods daughter who owned a garden on earth was one experience. All types of people, gods, goddesses and hybrids needed her experience with all sorts of plants and other things from nature ; rather it be for healing medicines , a bouquet for an upset lover or for help with livestock growth, [ ] and her parents helped with every little working class they could. As [ ] went from child to young adult she was used to her fair share of men from every place asking for her attention. A human asking for her hand and giving her the bare minimum, a god, wanting to make her a goddess, or just simply flirting to warrant her attention. But alas to them all she gave them no leadway, keeping her same polite smile and overall sweetness to each and every person she dealt with. On a warm day in the heavens as she walked the sky castles grounds she ran into a farmhand, one she remembered worked for Demeter approached her hesitantly, his eyes wandering to the young maidens “U-uh M-miss [ ] right?” The male asked her , her eyebrow raising as a silent answer “Lady Demeter would like to speak with you, she need some help but she did not tell me exactly what” he said with a bow and soon turned to leave. Wondering what the goddess could want she headed to her ranch, watching the cattle and other animals graze. Suddenly the door swung wide, revealing the deity to her “[ ] my favorite niece how are you love!” The tall woman sing songingly yelled, hugging the wide eyed girl “Hello Auntie Dem, im quite alright! Uhm, what seems to be the problem? One of your hands came to get me” [ ] said as she took in the ranch home her harvesting aunt had, all sorts of gains, wheats, fruits and more spewed about in her living room “Ah yes! Your father told me how great youve become with your potions and mixes of herbs, being the daughter of Dionysus im not surprised! I told him to let you grow and do more now look at you, serving us gods and mortals alike!” Demeter went on, handing her confused niece a large apple as she took one for herself. Becoming her to a table by the window they both sat, eating on their fruit as she explained her issue.

“You see, i have a lot of cattle, different kinds, different kins and legacies, but im a bit stuck. My favorite mare, had a child a little while ago and he seemed to just be your average bull at first….but..as time went on he out grew his father, my prized minotaur bull and even his normal cow and bull family.” Taking a glance to the field they watched as the minotaur children and some sheep danced and played, other average cow cults running to join. Sighing Demeter continued “Hes a hybrid, my prized minotaur as his father and well, my biggest and prized heifer as his mother. He wont come out of the shed, doesnt deal with his other kind, minotaur or not. Hes around your age now, getting to be his prime but..he wont converse in the fields. Both his father and mother voiced concerns to me about his health but when i checked on him, hes fine! Fields away under a sun and away from my younger and ready cows! I dont get it! Maybe because hes more human than he is bull, he does have a human face and even body, just taht everything below is...well bull. Tail, those wonderful breeding-” “Auntie!” Before she could finish [ ] was hushing the woman, waving her arms “I get it i get it Bull bottom human top i dont need to hear about his loins!” She pleaded.

Laughing, the goddess reached to a pile of hay, whistling to feed some of the nearby cows “Ah you silly girl, I was only gloating about my finest bull yet! I even tried bringing him mortals but...he crushed them, saying they were too small. Every single one! Younger older it didnt matter, he wanted nothing to do with them and just squashed them like a bug under his hoofs! I'm at my wits end, Im not sure what he needs, and hes so large i cant just let him walk around the palace place, he intimidates the clerks and huffs when talked to!” Dramatically laying against the table she looked to the thinking girl, her eyes shining with an idea “Hey auntie, how about you take me to him, i can see if hes loss any weight or seems sickly anywhere. Where do you think hed be at this time?” [ ] asked “Ah you brave girl, what time is it, almost high noon? He might be in the field but its the one with my giant tree that he likes” Demeter responded, pointing to a large tree up a few fields with nothing much around it but luhs grass. “Doesnt even matter if i put up a fence, he walks on two legs so he just hops over it” She sighed again as the duo headed outside.

Seeing a tall minotaur coming towards them [ ] stopped along Demeter, her goddess aunt speaking “Ah Milvor, how are you and Altine?” “Lady Demeter and I'm guessing this is [ ], we are fine. The misses is in the field now, seeing if she can see our boy” He said. Realizing that this was the after for her case [ ] spoke up “Uhm sir have you noticed anything amiss with er-” “Kendo, his name is Kendo” The Minatour said “Ah yes with Kendo, anything seem to be hurt or missing from his way of life” She asked. “Well..not particularly. Hes always fought some of the other males here so bruises and marks are a common thing we see from him. Besides a broken horn he doesn't have anything major going on. Just that he refuses to be around anyone here. Even us at times when were out with the others” He said solemnly , looking at the girl. Grabbing her hands he pleaded “Please, help our son? I know he can be rude and dismissive but down there our sweet boy is in there, were worried sick about him” Milvor said, a sad moo coming from his approaching wife “Miss i do appreciate you checking on him, I just hope he'd be home soon” A half cow women spoke , coming beside this Kendo’s father “Well i'll do my best, it doesnt sound like hes too hurt or anything serious so i'll make sure to try and get him to be with you both” Giving a reassuring smile [ ] started off, heading to the tree at the top of them hill. Just before she got far Demeter called to her, handing her sweet wheat “Heres some of his snack, he sometimes will come back if we offer him more” She said. Taking the wheat and putting it in the side of her flowing peplos. Soon with enough treading uphill , she got close to the tree , soon seeing a tail swish from in front of the tree. Hesitantly she walked forward before seeing hooved legs, also covered in black fur, pop out from the tree. Placing a hand at the side that had no person on it she peeked over to in fact , find a rather giant back in the sun, small flecks of freckles on the toned skin. Holding her gift closer she walked to the male before hearing a snort “ ‘M tellin’ ya Elinor I dont want nothin’ to do with ya, go on, go back to the heard” A rough and deep voice said, a larger hand coming up to wave off whoever was behind him. Feeling a bit bad for this mysterious Elinor and offended, she was brushed off [ ] walked closer , standing at the ends of his legs until the male growled. “I told ya to-'' Stopping himself from yelling once he turned around he was surprised to find not hybrid named Elinor but in fact the small [ ] her eyes widening as amber ones looked down “Yer not Elinor” He said as [ ] giggled “And im guessing youre Kendo” She said as the bull sat up, cruising his legs and the curious woman in front of her. “Whos askin?”

He huffed as [ ] looked at him as she did the same , sitting across from the hybrid “A…. doctor of sorts. Your parents, along with Goddess Demeter asked me to come check on you, see how youre doing” she said as he huffed again “ ‘M fine, now why did they send you” He said as he watched her pull things out, paper , a quill, ink and is that..? Pointing to the bustle of wheat he called out “Is that… for me?” Blinking [ ] looked at the almost childish Kendo, smiling as she untied the snack “It is for you, I heard you liked it. Brought it in the hopes youd talk to me?” She questioned, holding a piece out for him to take. Hesitantly he did, gnawing at it as he hummed in delight, his tail swishing. “ So uhm… Doc what do want to know” He asked, watching as the smaller girl touched his chest and arms, squeezing lightly as she wrote down different things “If ya wanted to touch me ya shouldve asked” He teased, taking his own hand to her face. Felling he face warm up she moved back, poking him with a finger “Now now be good im just seing if youre injured. Besides that horn, do you have anything broken or doenst feel well?” She asked as she waved a pisces of wheat, making him focus. “Nah, im as fit as a fiddle” Side eyeing his response she still gave him a piece , hearing him hum in delight as she wrote more notes.

“So no injuries, no pain , nothing?” shaking his head he continued to eat , taking some pieces from her bundle as she reached for the uneatten pieces “Hey! No you get these as a reward for answering me not to eat at your leisure!” She scolded. Reaching as far as she could she grabbed at his hand before he lifted them higher, smirking “Well miss doc i want what i want, and I want my snack” He said before she grabbed his arm, poking a manicured nail at it hand “Well Kendo ill let you have it if you tell me whats wrong, without covering it up deal?” Feeling him flinch at her poking she did it again until he moved away , glaring at her through his bangs that hung low “Fine! Stop poking me though, ya nails hurt! And theres nothing wrong, i just dont like ‘em cows! They stink!” He said as he knelt closer, moving her from his arm. “They stink? How old are you 5? Why do they stink!” [ ] huffed back as he chewed more of his treat, looking to the flustered girl “Im 22 in human years little girl , and like i said they stink! Reeks like open sores and meat” He said as he kept eating , laying in the sun. Thinking over his words it dawned in her what he could be talking about “And what do i smell like Kendo?” [ ] asked, catching the half bull off guard “I dunno, you dont stink, Neither does lady Dem” He said as he turned to her. Leaning over she gave him a piece of wheat again but this time, pushing herself a bit forward, watching as his body shook before he took the piece , eating it. “Well Kendo, my name is [ ] and ill be checking on you moreoften okay? I need to run down to the house but ill be back if that's okay with you?” Silently he shook his head, watching her run off as he opened his still crossed legs, feeling himself unsleeth as he groaned ‘Shit...now why am I gettin turned on’ he thought to himself, rubbing away what he could before the girl came back

As soon as she got to the farm she was met with the eyes of the worrying three, the first to speak being his mother Altine “Oh! [ ] youre back!” She said, the bell on her neck dangling as she ran to the fence “How is my boy? Kendo is he alright?” she asked as Demeter and Milvor came soon after for the report “Well maam i can confirm he is healthy, not is wrong with him the only thing is..” [ ] hesitated as she looked at them “He might have a heat approaching, is this his first one by any chance?” SHe asked as they all looked at eachother, Demeter speaking up “Well not exactly, this is why I kept bringing mortals up here, he wouldnt mate with the cows, and even other hybrids! Nothing! Hed turn his nose up at them all and go back to that field. He actually broke that horn of his fighting a bull from a neighboring farm who wanted to cow that was trying to get his attention” Demeter said, sigh as she saw her nieces blank face , afraid she overwhelmed her “Its alright if you dont think hes fixable [ ] i can-” “No hes fine. I can help him, and i think it wont be that hard either” [ ] said, giving the group a smile. “Watch him for a few days for me , im gonna go back up there with him, see how he is then come back in a few days with some of my things, ill stay here as long as need be to help your son” She said as she gave them all a smile, going inside to get her something to eat. Soon she hear her aunt appear, shuffling about to give her a basket to put her things in “Here, Im so gald helping him is a easy fix” She said sighing happily as she continued “I know he should mate on his own time, but im more concerned for his heath of it all, he doesnt even release into anyone or even by himself” Glancing towards her auntie she took in a breath before saying something “Well, i know it has to be bad now, he even said the er, cow women here stink, so their hormone have to be covered with other bulls or maybe he genuinely doesnt see appeal with them” [ ] said. Thinking it over Demeter gave her an almost alarming look “Well if thats the case just as you arrived he asked me what i was cooking, that something smelt good. I told him I didnt have anything and he just retreated back to his part of the barn before leaving for the field again.” Slowly [ ] realized she might be in for more than she imagines but brushed it off. “Interesting..” She said as she took her full basket “I have an idea, im gonna see if his heat hits its peaking times in a few days, I do plan on staying here if youd have me here?” She asked as a delighted look spread across Demeter’s face “Of course dear child! I missed having you around! Your Father was bad at bringing you over, him and his festivals” Demeter huffed before she poked her nieces cheek “Besides! We can have a girls night, or well er, weeks depending!” She said as the laughed together “Well it's a deal!”

Heading back up the hill she saw that Kendo had moved, facing a running river as he sast in the sun once more, looking content. [ ] smirked to herself before grabbing some of the things she had ; a brush, a lavish soap and a towel. Heading to where the behemoth of a hybrid laid she noticed his ear twitched, before he opened an eye to look back at her. “Hey Doc, ya back.” He said as she gave him a smile, sitting beside his head “Why yes I am. You seem to be enjoying yourself” She teased as he smirked, turning to face her. “Well i do enjoy the sun, keeps me warm nd my hair soft.” Looking him over again she noticed that his hair was always up in a bun but his bangs covering his eyes, a different hue of color, more of a rustic red than his black furred legs. “Well about that...Im gonna give you a bath!” the giant bull flinched at her words, seeing the happy look gracing her face “Oi now look, ‘m fine i dont need no bath” He argued as she pouted “Why sure you do! I know you dont go when the others get theirs, and if that bun of yours is any indication, you need to wash all of that dirt and grime off. Now let me help you” She barked back, pointing the soft looking brush towards his face. He stood up, now overthrowing the girls height as he pointed a finger at her “Now look, I like being this way, it keeps those girls offa me if you clean me now they wont leave me alone!” [ ] sighe before stepping closer, pointing her own small hand at his face, moving closer “Now you listen to me Kendo, I have things to help keep them off of you, this is for your own health! I can leave you here, dirty but your hair and fur is gonna get so matted theyll have to shave you!”

At hearing a potential that hed be shave Kendo flinched, moving his bangs so his soft eyes could meet her determined ones “Theyll shave me? Ion wanna be like the sheep” he said she she gave him a satisfied look. “Well go into the water then and ill make sure you wont!” Reluctantly he sighed, walking into the river as she followed behind, pinning her longer robe so it wouldnt get too wet as she sat at the side of the river. Holding a hand out she waved him closer, the male coming to her as she undid his hair. To her utter surprise it fell down his shoulders, stopping just short of his waist. Gently she pushed his bangs back to see his pretty amberish eyes looking up to her [ ]’ed ones. He had a typical Bull hook through his nose , the gold shining in the warm sun. He was quite handsome, sun kissed skin and a clear face, broad shoulders and a nice body. Even with his mostly human body his horns, tail and ears were bull, on top of his legs and...neithers , that were covered in fur. Softly she traced a scar under his eye, the wound slightly tender as he jumped from the touch. Going to her wrist she tied a string to hold his long bangs up, a giggle falling from her lips as he almost looked like a younger child getting a bath “What're you lookin at me like that for” He huffed as she laughed more, pushing his face together “You look like an upset child is all. Now go ahead and dip in the water for me , ill scrub you after.” Listening to her, Kendo dropped watching as some of the debris and dirt washed off around him as he stood up, shaking his hair “Good enough?” He asked as she shook her head, pouring some of the sopa on the brush as she started to was his chest,making sure to scrub him as clean as she could from land. Sensing her struggle he reached to her, lifting her over his body as she squealed “Sorry, you were just strugglin so i thought i'd help you” Kendo said as [ ] hesitantly started to wash as much as she could, tapping his arm anytime she needed to move. Being up there did help, she was able to was his horns and his hair, revealing the rust orange and copper hair underneath. Surprised she ran her finger though it, giving him a shy smile. “See dont you feel a bit better?” She asked as he shyly nodded, noticing how her clothes clinged to her chest. He reached to put her back on land, coming out of the water himself as he allowed her to scrb his legs and hoofs, the dull black fur coming to life as he watched in awe. She didnt mind helping him, still came to bother him when he said he didnt want help and now she was bathing him. Kendo mulled over how helpful she was, and realized she was more comforting than most. After scrubbing his hoofs shiny she tapped his legs, signaling she was done.

“All right! Now that youre all clean and such Ill make sure you stay this way okay Kendo?” [ ] said as she went back to the basket, pulling out two apples. The bull in question watched as she came back to him, handing him the other one “Here ya go! Thought you could use something sweet” kendo took the apple from the girl, before biting into it, thanking hier softly as they sat in silence. Soon [ ] spoke up, breaking their silet aurora “So...ill be around here the next few days or so, ill probably stay longer, giving how nice it is” She laughed, looking at the curious male beside her “Dont be afraid to ask me for anything okay? Im here to help you” With that Kendo nodded, going back to the apple. Quietly Kendo touched her arm, making [ ] look to him as an unfamiliar look went over his face. Gently herself, [ ] put her hand on his, shaking her head as a signal for him to talk. “Would you mind...pettin me?” he asked before [ ]’s eyes went wide. Now feeling a bit more embarrassed he spoke up again “I have problems going to sleep, ‘ts why i like it out here in the sun, its warm , nd comforting…” Pausing he continued after he got his words together. “You do the same thing like the sun. Youre warm...comforting.. And make me feel sleepy...so if you pet me...ill be comforted to sleep..its what my mama did, but im too big to be in her lap” With that kendo finished, glancing to the girl who gave him a soft look “Of course i can! I have to get pick some more clothes up but once i get back, I can stay with you out here.” Shaking his head Kendo looked back to the river “Ya dont have to sleep outside with me just...put me to sleep” Unable to stop herself [ ] hugged his arm, looking at him through her lashes “Oh cmon you big baby, I dont mind it! Havent slept under the stars since i was a kid!” Brushing off her dress she ran a hand though his thick locs of hair, giving him another warm hug “Ill be back before sundown, now you be good” And with that he watched as his new found friend walked down the hill.

As promised she brought a blanket and joined him, laying under the tree as the large male went to sleep on her lap, contently humming as [ ] ran her fingers through his hair, making Kendo groan as he fell asleep like mentioned, hugging her thighs as he slept the most comfortable he had in weeks. Watching the hybrid sleep she saw all types of scars, some down his back , others on his chest. A few on his arms and only one on his face, plus the broken horn. He obviously got himself into different groups of problems, but he was sweet, not as curt as he expected. Running her fingers down his back she watched him shiver, going to wrap his arms higher around her torso. Giggling as softly as she could [ ] started to braid his hair back in his sleep, the moving under her ceasing as he was well resting once more. Thinking to herself ‘ If he’ll be like this it should be a breeze to help him.’ Oh how wrong she was.

A few days passed with little to no incident , [ ] going around helping with the daily chore and hanging out with her deity auntie. As the two of them sat in the living quarters, drinking a mixed juice that her father set them they heard a bell appear towards the window, it being Kendo’s mother “I'm so sorry to bother you , but i think something is gravely wrong. Kendo is whining in the shed, earlier he even started to-” Before she could finish a thumb came from his shed, followed by a groan “and that, he's been head butting his room” sitting up [ ] looked to his shed, seeing the door shut but large banging still coming from inside “Hey Auntie, is it alright if we could move him to the other field? I dont want his lashing to accidentally hurt anyone here” Coming besides [ ] Demeter chewed at her lip, thinking “Well, if we can stop him then yes, I'd get the boys to move it quickly”. With that answer [ ] got up, heading to the rocking shed. Taking in a breath she knocked, hearing that the groans subsided. The door slowly creaked open, showing a heaving Kendo “[ ].....?” He whispered, looking over her body as she reached to his forehead, pressing her hand against it. Hot, way too hot. “Kendo, sweetie come with me okay? We’re gonna go to the fields and we're gonna move your shed there okay?” Silently he nodded, coming out of his place. He was gasping, chest heaving as his eyes swirled a darker color than normal. Taking the outstretched hand of [ ] his larger fingers curled against it, following the light pull of the girl. Softly, He nudged her back “ ‘M hot..” he said as she looked back at him, making sure the fever wasn't wearing him down. He gave her a weak smile, rubbing the back of her hand “ ‘M alright princess, just hot” Kendo said as she noted how his voice dropped octaves. “Well theyre gonna bring a bigger shed for you out here and ill check on you every hour. Does anything hurt?” [ ] asked as they walked up the hill “Nah, but my horns are ackey.” “Is that why you were bashing them on the shed?” “Yeah...its like trying to scratch an itch you can reach” Kendo sighed, seeing his usual tree coming into view. As the duo got there he dramatically fell under it, pulling [ ] with him. “K-kendo! Careful!” she fussed as he let go of her apologizing as he drifted to sleep. Soon some of the workers had started working on the new roomed shed for him , finishing just before sundown as they would inform Demeter of where she was.

Gently pushing the deep sleeping boy from her lap she went to his new place, checking everything out. It was more of a small home than a shed, filled with a huge bed and a nice aesthetic to them, the touch of the goddess laced through the look of the place. Going around to sort some of the things they brought for Kendo, [ ] felt a presence behind her “whats all this..” the groggy bull said, ducking down to walk into his lavish bedroom “Your new home! I had them build something spacious but also not overwhelming, and these white are just so lovely.” [ ] kept talking as she soon felt two large arms wrap around her torso “ Ya did this for little ol me..?” He whispered as she ran a hand over his forearm. “I did...you need somewhere to relax in this state” She responded, trying to get from his grasp as he tighten it “Uh uh dont leave...tell me whats wrong with me doc..why cant I stop feeling hot...and anytime you come around I...cant help myself” He ended with a groan , burying his face in the shorter girls neck “Well once im sure of you being in a state of need ill be back okay? Just...relax for me and i promise ill be back.” finally convincing him to let go of her waist, not without a pained groan as he went to the bed, hazy eyes glancing over the short dress wearing girl “Get some more rest okay? Im gonna get something to eat and ill be back in the morning. Call me if you need me okay?” [ ] said as he just groaned a meek response, turning to his side.

Earlier the next morning [ ] woke up to an empty house. Stretching she found a neatly written note with some food on the table

Dearest Niece, Im currently headed to your Uncle Poseidon's place, I should be back some time later ; an update on Kendo, hes been begging for you all day, wont let anyone touch him or check on him. He should be awake now but do be warned ; He’s a lot more scatterbrained than usual

Auntie Demeter

Reading over the note again [ ] sighed, putting on her more comfortable and workable dress as she headed up to his new little house on his hill, the sound of groaning and whines coming to her ears as she got to his door. Seeing it ajar she pushed it open slightly, the place dark except from a crack of light coming from the window. Going to the shades she opened them, hearing a hiss from the bed. “Kendo its me..[ ]?” She called out as the wild set of hair came into view. He was even more disheveled, eyes filled over as he looke to the girl before growling, crawling out of the bed to her. With a gasp she was in his arms, body shaking as she was met with unnaturally feral eyes from the boy. “You left me yesterday..” he rapeseed out, burying his face in her neck again as she grabbed at his thick neck “Kendo honey, i told you id be back this morning didnt i?” She calmly said as he held her tighter, pushing her chest to his “Dont care, ‘ts too long” Realizing why he was so needy [ ] tried to reason with him “Well im sorry love, here lets sit down on the bed” Trying to get him to move she walked forward only to feel something large and hot push into her bare thigh. Nervously she looked down only to be faced to what she feared it was ; His hanging member. A wicked laugh came from above her as she was met with his ever lust driven eyes, a hand of his going to cup her ass and pull her closer “See what you left me with? No matter how hard i fuck my fist i cant cum, it wont come out” He whined and burried his face again, rocking himself on her thigh “Please ill do anythin..youre the only one who sgotten me like this...the only one i want..[ ] please princess help me” Overwhelmed but the situation she tried to pull back, eyes searching his “K-kendo youre getting yourself worked up relax-” Without warning he picked her up, making her screech as he brought her crouch to his face, inhaling as he whimpered, reaching down to his growing dick “Fuck you smell good, like flowers...and sweets..” Letting his tongue roll out he sucked over her panties, making her squeal as she gripped his messy hair “N-no kendo put me down i need to help y-you!” She moaned as his tongue flicked over her clit, a mutual groan coming from both of them. Soon a hard tug to his hair resonated, cause him to put her down as she barely touched the floor, hand grabbing his biceps “Kendo please, please sit down youre overworking yourself.” Trying to calm her racing heart she saw how hazed he was, his hand coming to wrap around his visually throbbing head, stroking himself as tight and fast as he could, looking at the awe struck girl infront of him. His hips lifted up as he was chasing a high but he soon groaned, thrusting meekly in his fist “I-I cant, fuck I cant do it doll, ‘t hurts...p-please” Finally snapping from her haze she got closer to Kendo, hand still trying to milk himself as she put her hand over his, stoping the motion.

“K-ken..ill help you okay? Youre gonna rub yourself raw at this pace..” nervously [ ] pulled his hand away, precum coating it as she gulped. He was huge, red and swollen tip curved in the right places. Even with his bull heritage he was still humanly manageable, but with a lot of work to try and get it to fit. With her staring at the intimidating size it twitched , curving up to his belly button as he gave her a lop sided snarl “ Cmon darlin, he... er, we need you . ya keep staring make me feel a bit exposed” He laughed as [ ] gave her own light chuckle. Facing her fears she wrapped a hand around his tip, a hurting yelp falling from Kendo at the touch made her eyes flicker to him but what she saw was pure lust, eyes blown with his tongue licking over his lips “Y-yes finally...shit I-i can feel somethin” Kendo couldnt help himself. Reaching down he grabbed her other hand , wrapping them tightly around his tip as he thrusted between them. “Mhmm im cumin, im gonna cum o-oh shit” As soon as she twisted her wrist to help him he felt himself twitch , spurts of warm cum splattering on [ ]’s face and the floor a he gave her a nervous laugh “S-shit doll face yer good...im sorry i couldnt hold it in..” he said shyly as [ ] gave him a sympathetic look, stroking over his still throbbing head. “[ ] please...can I fuck you? I-I promise ill go slow its juts the smell of you is..mhmm intoxicating” Kendo pulled her up from her knees, pressing his mouth against her clinging panties ,pulling them with his teeth. [ ] squeaked, grabbing his hair as he pushed her hips closer, trying to lick her. “W-wait ill take em off” Pushing at his shoulders she pulled the piece he had in his mouth out, sliding the flimsy lace as she came a bit closer, a growl coming from his lips as he pushed her dress higher, finally able to taste her. Throwing one leg then the next on his shoulder kendo fell back, making her fall onto his lips.

[ ] let a pitched moan come out, startled by his rummaging in between her thighs , his diligent uskcing on her clit taking a toll as she came, bucking her hips onto his mouth. Swallowing her juices Kendo flipped her on her stomach, pushing the fabric of her dress up and over her shoulder to release her covered chest, now exposed “mhmm i want more of that sweet nectar baby why dont you give it to me?” whispering in her ear and now bucking his even harder dikc between her small lips [ ] started to panic “K-Ken wait I dont think youll fit!” ignoring her thrashing Kendo looked over her body, seeing how she shook at every stroke of his tip against her sopping core “I told ya ill be gentle, hold still [ ]...i wouldnt hurt my mate” The heaviness of those word took over [ ]’s body as she looked back to him, only to see the save behemoth size push against her ring of muscles. Agonizingly slow he pushed, letting his tip slide in as he pushed each small inch he could in, a whine falling from them both. Once he was halfway in he slowly thrust his hips, causing the girl to yelp “I-its alright i got ya okay? Youre fine...its okay im here” Constantly praising her , Kendo was able to slip more into her, each mini thrust pushing him a bit closer to her, the sounds of squishing and pleasure filled moans filling the room. Becoming overwhelmed at almost being full [ ] pushed her hips back to take the rest, making Kendo yelped and [ ] moaned, the sudden feeling of him bottoming out almost too much as he placed his hand on her stomach, feeling him brush her cervix. Swinging his hips more fluidly he started to pounder her even more, gripping her neck as he pushed her deeper in the bed “Fuck yeah i knew youd be my perfect little minx, taking me so well i cant wait to see you swollen with my babies” He huskily whispered , the stretched out girl too blissed at taking him whole to care about his words.

“I bet youd love being my mate, wouldnt have to lift a finger for anything , id take good care of ya..” Continuing his beating against her cervix he felt something strong hed never felt before, a blind need to cum hitting him like a train “mhm..please let me breed you, this pussys’ mine, all i ever wanted...ill make you a cute little house wife hm? Make you swell with cute little us running about.” Feeling her weakening clench over him he reached for that bundle of nerves, switching his hips to hit even deeper, his throbbing dick pushing against that sponge in her walls. Crying out [ ] fell lower, feeling him slip impossibly deeper as he sped up.” Cmon [ ] , babygirl cum for me..give me it..t-then i can give you what you want yeah? Fill ya to the brim so you can bear me a strong child….”Finally at that the little sense of control snapped coming from a particularly hard push and roll of her clit she was whining , grabbing the arm beside her head as angry red lines welted up. Feeling her hit her peak Kendo got to his knees , nursing her bud as she tried to tug him away, thighs shaking as teary eyes looked down to his fierce lust filled one. As soon as she started whimpering and pulling her hips away he stopped, scrubbing his tip along her folds as he entered without too much pull, [ ]’s mouth falling open “Mh..i'm so close baby...just wanted to look at you when I fill you full..” Kendo felt his tip twitch, making his hips stutter as he picked his pace up again, watching as her arms went are far as they could to his back, stretching his shoulders as he came with a growl, and almost audible sound of him pumping in her heard as she weakly pulled him closer, their lips meeting in a intimate kiss.

With care he pulled from her lips, seeing her eyes fill up again as he kissed tears away “Its alright...its okay ‘m here princess...its alright..I didnt hurt you did I?” Kendo asked as he looke at her slightly bulged stomach, a satisfied smirk on his lips “ Hey [ ]...” He started as she gave a weak hum he continued “Be my mate..I know i didnt ask before filling you bu...id be honored to make such a caring woman my mate and wife...treat you just like my father does my mom..…” He said, nuzzling her cheek before [ ] pulled his face up, kissing him lightly as she gave him a tired smile, rubbing his cheeks “I-id be honored to be your mate..take good care of me okay? Or Auntie Demeter has your head..” Laughing he kissed her lips again, sealing their new deal

#my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #the circus dome collab #rappa x reader #kendo rappa #rappa smut #kendo rappa x reader

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melzula · 4 years

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Fire Lilies

pairing: Zuko x princess!reader

warnings: fluff, angst, forbidden lovers au

notes: this is my first zuko piece and also my first atla piece ever so pls excuse the fact that it’s a little clunky 🥺 this isn’t really canon to the show but the reader is princess of the southern Water Tribe and a water bender. also this may or may not have been inspired by the secret tunnel song... anyway, i may make a part two to this but for now enjoy!

summary: “Two lovers forbidden from one another. A war divides their people.”

Tensions between the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes had never been higher, and the possibility of war was a continuous threat that loomed over both nations. Constant efforts of parley and council meetings proceeded throughout the years, but neither side could ever seem to reach an agreement both deemed satisfactory. As chief of the Southern Water Tribe, such negotiations seemed to weigh heavily upon your father’s shoulders, and despite being the crowned Princess there was nothing you could do to help him.

“A council of negotiations is no place for a princess,” he would remind you every time you attempted to give your own insight and opinion on the troubles your people faced. Your father would leave you then in the care of your mother and your handmaidens, an apologetic kiss placed upon your forehead before his departure.

“The council is overrated anyway,” you would huff in an attempt to conceal your disappointment and annoyance at the unfairness of it all, “it’s just a bunch of angry old men who are too stubborn to set aside their differences for the sake of peace.”

And yet despite your renouncement of such a meeting, you always found yourself sneaking away from home and towards the council chambers where the negations often took place. Your people believed that women held no place in war, only meant to be gentle hands and spirits that served and guided their people. Such expectations were set even higher for Princesses, and so you were restricted to activities such as practicing your healing and providing aid to your people. You loved your tribe with all of your heart, but you found the traditions they practiced rather... well, for lack of a better term, stupid. You could be doing so much more to help if only your father would let you participate.

The stars are bright on this particular evening, a glimmer of hope that hangs over the dark blacks and reds of the Fire Nation ships arriving at the docks; it’s the southern tribe’s turn to host the meeting. You can’t see much from where you stand other than the outlines of the soldiers, guards, officials, and the royal family, but you know for a fact that the minacious figure leading the procession is none other than Fire Lord Ozai. You’d only ever crossed paths with the man once when you were four, and it had purely been an accident on your part, but you knew that if you hadn’t been the Chief’s daughter you would definitely have marks to show for the encounter.

Considering the fact that you’re the only Princess and heir to the throne, it’s surprisingly easy scaling down your balcony and sneaking off into the night without a second thought. Though you found the underestimation of women in your tribe extremely insulting, the “helpless princess” front sure kept suspicions off your back. The nation is quiet with everyone either tucked inside for the night or present at the meeting, and there is no one to stop you from hiding yourself amongst the shadows outside the meeting hall and taking a peek inside.

Various political figures sit at the long table, your father and the Fire Lord sitting at opposite ends. The atmosphere is heavy and thick, the air silent as each side dare’s the other to speak first, and perhaps part of you is glad that you don’t have to sit through such a meeting.

“What are you doing?” A voice calls, and you’re grateful for the fact that you’re able to contain your startled gasp so as to not blow your cover. You whirl around with a murderous glint in your eye and the intent to blast whoever almost gave you away with an icy cold wave of water, but your demeanor changes in an instant as you realize who the voice belongs to.

“Zuko!” You squeal, all caution thrown to the wind as you fling yourself into his arms. The sheer force of your impact sends you both toppling back onto the snow, but the prince can’t help the laugh that leaves him as he winds his arms tightly around your waist.

“I guess I don’t have to ask if you missed me,” he teases. The two of you sit up from the ground once you release him, and he watches with a fond smile as you carefully brush the snow off of his clothing.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come. Things have been so tense.”

“You know I’ll always come see you,” Zuko comforts before pressing a delicate kiss to your temple. Your relationship with the Fire Nation prince was a complicated one, but there was no denying the love you two shared.

You had first met when you were four and Zuko was five. Originally you were meant to be a playmate for Princess Azula, but she had made it clear that she would much rather torment the white hamsters than spend her time pretending to be your friend. It was Zuko who took interest in your companionship, sledding on the otter penguins with you during the day and sharing secrets at night.

“Princesses aren’t allowed to water bend, but sometimes when no one’s looking I practice my combat skills,” you had told him. “I can also do cool tricks.”

“Really? Like what?”

Zuko watched in awe as you used the water in the air to swirl the snowflakes that fell from the sky into the shape of a butterfly, delicately flapping its wings so that it landed on tip of the young prince’s nose. Joyful laughter escaped him at the sensation, and it was then at four years old that you knew the Fire Nation boy would always hold a special place in your heart.

You kept your courting a secret for the sake of making things less complicated for the both of you. It wasn’t necessarily against the rules for the two of you to be together, but it was just easier to keep it to yourselves. Keeping politics and prying eyes away from your relationship was what made it so strong; you weren’t the Fire Prince and the Water Tribe Princess when you were together, you were simply Zuko and y/n. And it was nicer that way.

“Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you,” Zuko smiles, rolling his eyes at the way your eyebrows immediately furrow in protest. “Just do it.”

With a reluctant sigh you shut your eyes and let out a small hum, waiting for whatever prize may come your way. Something gentle and sweet smelling is placed in your lap, and you open your eyes to see a bouquet of flower lilies resting upon the skirt of your dress.

“Oh, Zuko!” You gasp, picking the bundle up and admiring the beautiful petals. “They’re gorgeous.”

“I knew you’d like them,” he grins. “There aren’t many flowers around here.”

“The snow prevents anything from growing,” you agree with a small smile. “You’re so thoughtful.”

“Anything for the Princess.”

“I love you,” you profess, sighing happily as his lips meet your own in a tender kiss. Times like these were few and far between considering you both came from opposite sides and only saw each other once a month, so you liked to savor the feeling for as long as you could. However, your moment of bliss ended much sooner than you had anticipated.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Your father’s voice bellows from the entryway of the meeting hall. You’re quick to scramble onto your feet and away from Zuko, but the fire lilies are still clutched tightly in your hands.

“Father, I-I can explain,” you begin to say only for him to take hold of you by the elbow and yank you away from a terrified Zuko. The bouquet of flowers falls from your grasp and drops onto the snow.

“How dare you try and soil my daughter!”

“I-I didn’t mean any harm, sir,” Zuko tries to say, “I love and respect your daughter.”

“Love,” your father scoffs. “Fire Nation monsters aren’t capable of love. They only bring pain and heartache wherever they go. For as long as I live I never want to see you near her again, is that clear?”

“Father, you can’t!” You cry, but the deterrent glare he sends your way has you backing down in an instant. You know better than to argue with him when he has that crazed wide eyed look on his face; your father was a good man and a great chief, but he could be ruthless when it came to his people and his family- especially with you.

“Yes, sir,” Zuko utters quietly, eyes cast downward and refusing to meet your gaze. Fighting your father’s decision would only make things worse, and he doesn’t want you to suffer any more than you have to.

“Now run along child,” your father instructs gruffly, “and don’t come back.”

Zuko takes one last longing look at you, and the pleading you look you give him that begs him not to go has his heart breaking into two. Chances are this is the last time he’ll ever see you again, and he wants to commit the details of your memory permanently to his mind. He wants to remember the curve of your lips and the smoothness of your hair, the red of your cheeks from the cold and the tears that brim at the corners of your sparkling eyes. You are beautiful, ever since you were children he thought so, and in his mind he’d always remember you as the Princess with the snow butterfly and the bouquet of fire lilies.

Tears steadily fall down your face as your father guides you home by the elbow, carelessly stepping on the lilies in his path. They crumple and wither under his boot much like your heart had at his banishment of your beloved Zuko.

“Your mother should have kept a better eye on you,” he mutters harshly, glancing sideways at your trembling form. If he holds any remorse for breaking your heart he doesn’t show it, and it makes you feel all the worse. “It was for your own good, y/n. You may not see that now, but someday you will.”

“What happened to keeping the peace?!” You cry in protest. “I thought you wanted our nations to come together in harmony? Zuko and I are proof that it’s possible!“

“There will be no peace,” is your father’s solemn reply. “The Fire Nation has declared war.”

A small gasp leaves your lips at his confession, your stomach tying itself into knots so tight it almost makes you want to vomit. Your father says nothing more as he hands you off to your nurse maids and orders extra guards to ensure you can’t escape again. Everything feels as if it’s come crashing down upon you, and there isn’t a single thing you can do about it.

Snow begins to fall with the departure of the Fire Nation ships, and your forgotten lilies are suffocated underneath the clean sheets of ice.

*part two

#zuko #zuko x reader #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader #zuko imagine #prince zuko imagine #avatar the last airbender #atla x reader #atla imagine #angst #forbidden lovers au #secret tunnel

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dizzydancingdreamer · 4 years

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“So that’s how you want to play this, love?" | The Mikaelson Boys

Hey My Lovelies! I hope all is well today! I received a request ages ago from @activist-af to do something like this, as you will read below. I honestly aimed to fit the movie night theme in there but it was swallowed up pretty fast! I only meant for this fic to be 3000 or so words but, as it always seems to do, it got away from me.I truly hope that you enjoy this, you've given me an unwavering amount of support these past few months while I was battling a major bout of depression and writers block. I can't repay all the kindness and love you've given me but I hope this is a start! Much love darling! And much love to all of you lovelies! Please have a fantastic evening for me! <3

Please read before continuing: I usually wouldn't write this much before my story but I wanted to add this: this story is my first full blown smut. I'm honestly not sure how well it will go over but I tried to make it as loving and healing as I could. I take my writing very seriously. I know sex for many is a touchy subject, and that truly pains me. I sincerely hope every single one of you reading this feels all the love and saftey I tried to incorporate into this peace. I wish you an eternity of love and healing. Be safe my loves!

Request: "Could u do a mikaelson boys x reader? Any plot really, but I’d very much love it if it was a bit more Kol focused. there’s just such a lack of content for all three of them and I love your writing so much. If u need any plot point ideas maybe a movie night kinda thing? I really hold him a bit higher than the other boys. Or something similar to the fic with the Klaus + Eli being injured? Fluffy ending please, smut is fantastic too 🖤"

Description: Y/n is upset that the boys won't let her come on their mission with them, feeling isolated and useless. Kol is supposed to stay behind and watch out for her however things get heated after she tells him off.

Pairing: The Mikaelson Boys x Fem!Reader, mainly Kol and Elijah

Warnings: THIS IS AN 18+ ONLY FIC!!! This is a full blown smut, I honestly do not know how it happened, probably 4000/5000 words are pure sex scenes, also there's a bit of fighting/angst at the beginning of the first scene but it doesn't last

Word count: 5343 (I'm so sorry)

Tags: ANGST, SMUT (full on), FLUFF

(Pics aren't mine but the moodboard is :) )

“I really don’t see why you guys are leaving me behind, again,” you run an agitated hand through your hair, huffing indignantly at the two boys in front of you.

Yes, boys. Not men. If they aren't going to treat you like the full grown woman you are then no way in hell are you going to give them any validation either. Even in your head.

“It’s too dangerous,” Elijah’s chocolate eyes are stern, his hands clenching at his sides, “I can’t risk the witches doing anything to you as a way to get to us. You’re too important.”

Your chest warms slightly at his words but it isn’t enough to break down your resolve. Three hundred years under your belt; they’re going to need to do better than that if they want to keep you away. There are only so many times you can stay away from a fight, only so many times you can watch them come home hurt knowing that if you had gone with them then maybe you could have prevented it. You’re a family and you’re tired of feeling like you aren’t pulling your weight.

You narrow your eyes at the tall boy, still not man, trying to peer through all the red you’re seeing, “I’m not a child, Elijah.”

He stares right back, not backing down, his face cut like marble, unwavering. Beautiful but harsh. Stone. He wears a white shirt, the first button popped and the sleeves rolled to his forearms. His veins are prominent and tempting. Elijah means business. You swallow the lump in your throat, pushing away the heat growing in your stomach.

“Love, trust me, we know you aren't a child. Any other time I would gladly rip you upstairs and prove it. Right now, though, I agree with him. You’re staying here,” Klaus’ softer voice pulls your attention from your staring match with the eldest Mikaelson.

He has a leather jacket on, the material clinging tight to his arms, ready to burst. He’s smiling but it doesn’t reach his crystal eyes. He folds his arms neatly in front of him. He’s not going to budge either.

You scoff at him, shaking your head, “I want to come, Klaus. I need to.”

A new voice joins the three of you in the foyer, “I can make that happen, darling, but you’ve got to stay home with me if you want that.”

You don't even need to turn around to hear the smirk on Kol’s voice but you do anyway, meeting the youngest Mikaelson face to face. He has a grin on his lips, one that, in any other situation, would have you weak in the knees. He has a sweatshirt on and a pair of sleep shorts. He’s on babysitting duty, he doesn’t need anything else. You only roll your eyes at him before facing Elijah once more.

“I’m part of this family, too, you know. It should be my choice,” you have to will your voice not to crack, keeping your tone as low and as steady as you can, “I’m not useless, Elijah, as much as you’d obviously disagree.”

You rub your hands over your bare arms, fending off a sudden chill. You feel like there’s ice coursing through your veins. A traitorous tear tracks down your cheek but you make no move to get it. Elijah’s hardened face softens when he notices.

“Baby, come on,” he reaches to grab you but you step back, not allowing him to touch you.

He can’t do that, make the decisions for you. Maybe if you were still human it would be called for but now it’s not. Sure, you aren't a millennium like they are but you’re not a piece of glass either. You’re strong, whether they want to acknowledge it or not.

“Don’t, Elijah,” you back away further, your cheeks drenched but your eyes fierce, “I’ll see you guys in a few days. Be safe.”

You turn and walk away, ignoring all three brothers as they call out to you, heading up to your room before any of them decide to follow you. You close the door, not slamming it but not exactly shutting it gently either. You can hear Elijah sigh from the front hall and you know he’s tugging on his hair. Klaus swears, his frustrated voice floating up to your ears. More tears fall but you brush them away angrily, lifting a pillow from your bed and screaming into it. No doubt they can hear it but, right now, you couldn't care less. The front door shuts and your heart plummets.

You sit on the edge of your bed, gripping your dark comforter tightly. Usually you like being the one they take care of. You like being held, how small they make you feel. Right now, though, it’s too much.

A soft knock draws your attention to the door, Kol’s careful voice cutting through the wood, “darling?”

“Leave me alone, Kol,” you try your best to make your words harsh but you only sound tired.

“Not likely, love,” he presses, “you know I can go all night, now it’s up to you what that means.”

Your cheeks flush and, as if he can see you through the door, he chuckles. The sound echos through your chest, stirring the remains of anger and frustration and mixing them with something hot and untamed. You pull the door open, coming face to face with the smirking Mikaelson.

“Sorry you landed with babysitting duty, Kol, but I’ve kept myself alive for three hundred years now and I’m pretty sure I can handle two more days on my own. Why don’t you go help Elijah and Klaus, yeah? Seeing as you are the only three who can actually do any good. I’m clearly not strong enough to do anything so I’ll just sit here and look pretty and do absolutely nothing at all because I’m useless. Okay?”

With that you close the door in his face. Well, you try to but he wedges his body in the way so you can’t shut him out. Whatever smile had previously been on his face is long gone and in its place sits a deep frown. His brown eyes ice over slightly and he stands taller than he did mere seconds ago. You can feel a switch in the atmosphere and suddenly you’re face to face. You honestly can’t tell which one of you is more pissed off.

“So that’s how you want to play this, love,” he pushes closer to you, “you want to get angry, yeah? Alright darling, I can do that.”

You open your mouth to protest but before any profanities can fly out his lips are on yours, fierce and strong. He uses his foot to kick the door closed, slamming it into place. It’s done merely for effect. No one is home but the two of you. He spins you around aggressively, pushing you roughly against the hardwood. His teeth sink into your bottom lip, no doubt drawing blood. As if on cue a copper taste fills your mouth, drowning your senses in red. This time, though, the anger is mixed with a wicked kind of lust.

Your hands find his hair without your permission, tugging harshly at the roots. He groans into your mouth, a sound that makes you want to slap him across the face and wrap your legs around him all the same. His hand snakes around your waist, squeezing your hip with a fervour that will no doubt leave bruises that will take longer than usual to heal. He pushes against you, every single part of him rock hard.

“God fucking damnit, Kol,” his lips find your throat with painful ease, sucking the sensitive skin into his mouth in a way thats just this side of painful over pleasurable.

Right now, though, you crave every bit of pain that Kol lays on you. In a sick way you’re proving that you can take it. That you’re strong enough to do the things that they do. Another flash of red floods your vision when you think of the other two Mikaelson's who refused to let you help. You drag one of your hands down Kol’s back, scratching hard enough for him hiss against your neck.

He jerks away from you quickly, only long enough to rip the sweatshirt over his head before he attacks your neck again. He sinks his teeth in at the same moment he rips your tank top in half, lulling you into that sweet mixture of pleasure and pain, hate and lust once more. His shoulders are deliciously toned under your searching fingers and this time when you drag your nails down his back you know you draw blood. Serves him right anyway.

“Fuck, baby,” he wraps a hand around both of your wrists, pinning your hands above your head, “that kinda hurt.”

You want to claw the smirk off of his face. Or kiss it. You can’t quite decide. His other hand is slowly sliding up your back, inching towards the clasp of your bra. His eyes burn into yours, the inferno behind them nothing less than intense. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears so loud it’s almost hypnotic when combined with the tantalizing draw of his hand. It lulls you into a false sense of security, your eyelids heavy in anticipation. He stops moving when his fingers are about to undo the hooks.

He pushes his hips closer to yours, locking you between his body and the door. His stomach is hot against yours and cut like marble. Your fingers itch to feel every bump and dip with agonizing intricacy. Every inch of your skin is alight, every hair raised waiting for anything to happen. You can feel every breath he takes as if it’s your own, your covered breasts just barely grazing him with each rise and fall of his chest. It’s delicious torture.

“Before we go any further here, I need to know what you want. Do you want some quick fuck that’s going to leave you more angry when it’s done?” He rolls his hips against yours, sending sparks flying through your body at the first real touch you’ve had tonight, “or do you want me to make love to you like you know I can. And make all these terrible feelings go away. It’s your choice, darling?”

His words tangle and knot in the pit of your stomach, weaving through the white hot hatred that had been building in your stomach until it explodes. They hit you right at the source like missiles aimed with the utmost precision to destroy every bit of anger left in you. Tears prickle at the edge of your vision, your senses overloaded from the sudden loss of your fury. All that’s left in its wake is this gut wrenching feeling of not being good enough. It’s the original problem and he just effortlessly broke through to it.

“I,” you tug your bruised lip between your teeth, if only to keep it still, “make it go away, Kol. Please.”

“That’s all I want to do, darling.”

He releases your wrists, opting instead to haul your body into his arms and slamming his lips against yours once more. You waste no time running your freed fingers down his sculpted chest, admiring the way his muscles tense as he holds you up. You push yourself as close to his body as you can get, wrapping your legs around his taught stomach and clinging on for dear life. He kisses you slowly, as if drawing all the negative energy out of your body with his lips.

He walks the two of you backwards towards your bed, sitting on the edge, leaving you straddling his hips in the most delicious way. You push your hips to bring you closer together, wanting to feel every part of him that you can. He meets every movement with his own energy, wrapping an arm around you back to keep you pressed against him. Your body is warming up once more in his arms.

He pulls his lips from yours reluctantly, his hand snaking back to the clasp on your back, “this needs to go.”

You shiver at the light touch of his fingertips on your spine, arching with the click of the hooks coming undone. He pulls the lace from your chest slowly, his thumbs grazing down your arms, memorizing every inch of skin he can get his hands on. His eyes meet yours again and he drops the fabric on the ground next to your bed. His hands, now resting on your hips, trail fire up your stomach as they trace their way over your ribs.

“Kol, please,” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, reveling in the warmth of his chest so close to your own, “I need you.”

There’s a glint in his eye again but this time you don’t want to slap him. No this time you want him to do heavenly things to every part of you. You want him to take the last remains of this awful feeling and snuff it out with his mouth. His hands finally crest the remainder of your ribcage, his thumbs teasing the underside of your breasts with tantalizingly careful circles. Tears sting your vision again from all the pent up energy inside of you.

“What shall I do, darling,” his thumbs draw along the sides of your breasts, stoking the untameable fire in the pit of your stomach once more, “tell me how you want me to touch you.”

His fingers dance closer to their target, each stroke driving your brain further into it’s Kol induced frenzy. All you can see, all you can hear, all you can smell is the boy in front of you.

“Kol,” his name falls from your lips in a desperate moan, “please just do something, god.”

He chuckles, a sound that flows like honey and wraps around every inch of you like silk. His eyes sear into your own, daring you to break his stare but you don’t. You can’t

“Well I could do this.”

His thumbs roll over your hardened nipples, as if to punctuate his words, and you see stars. You don’t even try to stop the moans that tumble from your lips, turning to clay in his hands. You give him free reign to mould your body in any way he desires, as long as hands never leave your skin. He pinches each bud between his fingers gently, pulling more praises from deep within you. His eyes never leave your face, drinking in each expression with unashamed greed.

“Or maybe I could do this.”

You know what’s coming when he leans forward, It’s quite clear what his intentions are. However, what you aren’t expecting is for the first gentle nip to send you so violently crashing over the edge that you have to squeeze your thighs around him to avoid falling off the bed. He doesn’t stop when you cry out and you don't want him to. Every swirl of his tongue around your nipple sends you spiraling further into the sweet oblivion he’s created just for you. He rocks his hips against yours while his mouth assaults you, pressing the delicious hardness against you while you fall apart.

He detaches his lips from your lips when you start to come down from your high, kissing his way up your sternum, over your collar bone, before settling on your throat.

“So beautiful darling,” he pulls your skin into his mouth as if he didn't just get enough just moments ago, “so damn beautiful.”

You press down on his hard length again, pulling a groan from deep within his chest, “I want all of you, Kol. Please.”

That's all the encouragement he needs to flip the two of you over and lay you on your back. He kneels between your legs, hooking his thumbs in your plaid sleep shorts and pulling them off much faster than he had down with your bra. He’s more than warmed up now, something that excites you to no end. You’re left laying in a pair of black lace panties that match the bra on your floor.

Kol’s eyes go dark at the sight, a growl that hardens your nipples again rumbling through the air. He leans down, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh before pulling the lace off of you once more and adding it to the growing pile of clothes. He kisses the junction of your thigh next, sending electricity rippling through your body. It restarts the heat once more and the familiar wildfire rips through your abdomen. You’re not sure if you’ll be able to stand many more orgasms if each one is to be like the first.

“Please just make love to me, Kol, I need to feel you.”

He lifts his head from your thighs, a sight that you will never grow tired of, and his eyes set ablaze, “I was made for nothing more.”

Your heart flutters rapidly in your chest, a warmth spreading like butter over your bones. He kicks his own shorts and boxers off quickly, moving back up your body to rest between your legs. You drink in the heat radiating off his body, allowing it to soothe the remaining ache leftover from your small throw down. His one hand slips under your head, lacing through your hair gently. The other reaches between you, lining himself up against your opening. The slightest touch of him against you is enough to have you mewling his name already.

He teases you slightly, taking his sweet time before pushing in. The first thrust is pure magic, filling you in the way that only Kol can. Each of you boys feel different. Kol lights every one of your nerves on fire with his slow movements. He makes you feel every deliberate movement. He makes you know that every circle of his hips, every time he joins you together is done to perfection exactly how he intends. Kol makes you aware of your entire body and just how much control he has over it.

He pulls back slowly before thrusting back inside of you hard enough to rock your bed into the wall. You clench around him without warning, pulling your name from his lips with mouthwatering ease and sending small shocks through your lower half.

“Christ, baby,” he rocks his hips deeper into yours, burying himself all the way inside you, “how are you so close again already.”

You giggle quietly from underneath him, wrapping your legs around his hips and rolling your own to meet his thrusts. Your hands glide over his shoulders, soothing the scratches you left earlier. You draw his face to your own, pulling his lips down to graze yours. You want him to feel every word you say.

“Don’t play coy, you know exactly what you’re doing,” the end of your sentence is blurred with unrelenting moans.

His hand grabs your leg, pushing your knee to your chest before pushing you into the mattress with a world altering thrust, “you’re right darling, I just like to hear you say it.”

He closes the gap between your lips with another shattering push, your walls clenching harder than before around him again. You swallow each moan that slips from his mouth and into yours. His nutmeg scent clings to you and you know it will take days to scrub him off of you, not that you want to. You could very well spend the next century wrapped up in Kol in every single way possible.

He picks up the pace, slamming into you with controlled ease. Your hands lace through his hair, keeping him as close to you as possible. Your senses are overwhelmingly heightened, allowing you to feel every damned inch of him. You’re in serious danger of falling apart. The fiery ball in your stomach is at its peak once more. When he pulls your lip between his teeth, and you taste the crimson, it explodes.

This time you don't just see stars, you see the sun and the moon and every planet in the solar system. He continues to move in and out of you, drawing out the intensity of your orgasm as he rides his own out. You cling to him with everything you have, refusing to breathe anything but Kol. Everything in this moment is about him and the way he makes you feel. Nothing else matters anymore. Perhaps nothing even mattered before. All there is, all there has ever been, is this one moment.

When you finally land back on earth, he slowly pulls out of you, giving you one last taste of electricity before drawing you to lay on his chest. Your ears ring from the energy you just exerted at Kol’s mercy, your skin deliciously sticky against his own. You're completely and undeniably spent.

You don’t realize that you’re crying until you go to speak, “Kol.”

You feel the sharp inhale he takes rather than hear it. Before you can blink the fresh wave of tears away he’s flipped you around, laying between your legs again and propped up on his elbows. His face is pure concern, his eyebrows creased together in a way that makes you want to smooth every harsh line away. It makes you cry that much harder.

“Darling, talk to me,” he runs a soothing hand down your thigh, pulling you close to him, “what’s wrong baby?”

The tears pour faster at the gentle tone in his voice, drawing an answer to the surface before you even process what you’re saying, “Do they think I’m useless? Do you?”

Your voice is shattered, all the emotions from today coming together in yet another crescendo. You can hear your blood rushing through your ears, drowning out the sounds around you. It’s probably the reason you miss the footsteps pounding up the stairs. You can feel Kol’s soft caresses but just barely. The only thing registering in your mind is the feeling of being completely and utterly weak. Why do they keep you around if you can’t even hold your own?

“God’s no, never. Not even a little bit,” just as Kol speaks, the door opens.

Well, the door slams open, hitting the wall with a crack that echoes through the large house. Kol isn’t startled. He should be but he doesn’t even flinch at the bang. You, on the other hand, tense underneath him, the pounding in your ears still as intense as before. A woodsy scent flows through the now open doorway, pine mingling with your already nutty skin. The pieces start clicking together, albeit at a slower pace than you like.

You’re almost certain you know who’s in the doorway but you look anyway to make sure, “Elijah.”

His name is a whisper and it gets lost under Elijah's own words, his dark eyes searing into yours, “Kol, do you mind giving us a moment?”

Kol glances down at you, a small smile playing on his lips. You plead with him to stay but this is Kol, he’s your hell-raiser. He places a soft kiss on your forehead before he stands, still completely naked, and walks out of the room.

He pauses on the other side of the door, settling a hand on his brother’s shoulder, “careful brother, she scratches.”

Elijah shuts the door when he leaves, much gentler than he had been when opening. Your boys, always the ones for theatrics. He leans against the frame, folding his arms over his chest. You stand from the bed, trying to meet his height but failing. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand but it doesn’t do much to clear the droplets. He tracks your every movement with a fire raging behind his chocolate eyes. You’re painfully aware of how much of your skin is on display for him; that is, all of it.

“What,” you pause when your voice cracks, stealing a moment to compose yourself, “what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be off saving the day.”

He pushes off the door, taking a few steps towards you. You can see he's fighting back a lot of primal instincts. He's as affected by your lack of clothes as you are. His eyes shift rapidly between his usual brown and a deeper coal colour. Despite the situation, you can’t help the heat seeping from between your thighs. He stops a few feet in front of you. There’s no way he can’t smell you right now.

“I was needed elsewhere,” his eyes dip down momentarily, his jaw clenching, “by someone infinitely more important.”

You watch him squeeze his fists together, forcing his eyes to remain on yours. The determination in them is unwavering and fierce. He takes another step towards you.

“It seemed important a few hours ago,” you drop your eyes to your feet, breaking his stare.

He grabs your chin, forcing you to keep looking at him and, in turn, igniting your body, “I assure you it was not nearly as important as making sure that you’re ok.”

Your throat tightens, aching with the promise of even more tears. You wish you could just stop. You’re not afraid to cry but usually you can control it. Right now you can’t. Everything has been building, every little insecurity has pooled, and today was the chip in the damn needed to make the whole thing collapse. It’s too much.

“I’m not,” you wrap your arms tight around yourself, gripping your arms with bruising strength to try and hold back the tremors, “ I am not okay Eli. I feel so helpless. Everytime you come home bleeding and exhausted and where am I?” You run a trembling hand through your mussed hair, yanking at the roots, “Here. Always just here, useless, letting you and Klaus and Kol take it all for me. Am I really that weak? That I’m just extra collateral damage to worry about? What is it, Elijah?”

The words pour from you, each one making him flinch like he’s being hit by an invisible enemy. Every syllable is a bullet to his chest. His body tenses further, his eyes no longer holding any trace of their usual warm brown. Instead they're pitch black, the veins under his eyes a deep plum. The veins in his arms pop as well, his fists iron tight. He curses under his breath when you finish. His voice is gravelly and scrapes the deepest pit of your soul.

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, whatever resolve he had been clinging to snaps. He pulls you towards him, wrapping his strong hands around your hips and lifting you against him, giving you a second to wrap your bare legs around his clothed hips.

“Elijah, what are you doing?” You cling to his chest, trying to avoid tumbling out of his arms when he begins walking you towards your bed once more.

He doesn't answer your question, laying you down against your ruffled comforter, “You aren’t collateral damage, baby.”

His voice is the lowest you’ve ever heard it, emanating from somewhere deep inside him. He opens the first few buttons of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head before making it even halfway down his chest. He drops it, much like he Kol had not long before, next to your bed. Kicking off his shoes, he kneels on the bed, coming to rest between your thighs. The heat emanating from you is now a furnace and it in no way goes unnoticed by him. His dark eyes swim across your naked body, drinking in every inch.

“Eli-” whatever you’re going to say is obliterated when he leans down and attaches his lips to the crook of your thigh, dangerously close to being exactly where you need him.

“You aren't weak,” he moves to your other thigh, nipping at the delicate skin and pulling unintelligible murmurs from your throat.

He kisses his way to your center, the anticipation growing like a knot in your stomach, begging to be unraveled once more. Even in the midst of falling apart you can’t get enough of these men. He lays a soft kiss against you, offering you the slightest glimpse of what you know his mouth can do. In the exact same way you had with Kol earlier, every part of you craves Elijah.

Your body arches willingly to meet the first swipe of his tongue, his name falling from your lips like a praise, “you aren't a burden to me, you beautiful creature.”

You cry out as he works his mouth expertly against you, his words humming ecstasy into your skin, melting away any trace of doubt in your mind. His arms wrap around your thighs, bringing you as close to his face as he can get you. The sight of him completely engulfed in your heat is almost enough alone to send you tumbling right there and then over the edge.

“You mean more to me than anything else on this fucking earth,” his dark eyes meet yours as he works you dangerously close to breaking before letting up once more, “and if I have to spend every hour for the next hundred years worshipping you to prove it then consider it done.”

He lowers his mouth against you harder, sucking your electrified warmth with renewed vigour. Your hands seek out his hair, tugging him against you and raising your hips to meet every pass of his tongue. The smell of pine trees and sex envelope you, brining you the closest yet to the kind of high only Elijah can draw from you. In this moment you’re nothing more than entirely his.

“I cannot lose you, baby,” he slips a few of his fingers inside you, “please let me protect you. I need to. Please.”

He curls his fingers just as the last syllable rolls off his tongue and into your core, shattering you into a million tiny pieces. Your hands fist his hair as your body clenches around his hand, pulling a delectable groan from his lips. Your third orgasm almost puts you to sleep on the spot, each of your muscles completely exhausted. Elijah watches you come undone the entire way through, nothing less than reverent awe locked on his face.

He wastes no time pulling your spent body into his arms, wrapping you as close to him as he can manage. You bury yourself against his neck, admiring how even the most unassuming parts of him have an undue amount of strength. He truly is your warrior.

“Eli,” you yawn into his chest, basking in the warmth of his skin, “I can protect myself.”

He tightens his arms around you, “I know you can, baby, but you shouldn't need to. I’ve been searching my entire life for a meaning. A thousand years of trying to be honorable. Then I found you and, all of a sudden, it all makes sense. All the searching and fighting and pain finally has a purpose: to protect you. Let me take it for you. Please.”

You’re speechless, there isn’t anything else to it. His words hit you with immense power, sinking into your skin and settling around your bones. You’re his, all of theirs, to watch over. You really didn't know he felt this strongly. You’ve always had to defend yourself. Perhaps you just aren't used to someone else being so willing to take on that task. Someone begging to take it.

He stands suddenly, with you still in his arms, and walks out of your room, starting down the hall. The faintest sound of rushing water fills your ears, lulling you into a welcome daze.

“Where are we going, Eli?” You have yet to open your eyes, stuck in the soft between being awake and falling asleep.

He kisses your forehead, resting his head on yours, “Niklaus said he wanted to take a bath, my love.”

#the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to #kol mikaelson #kol mikaelson x reader #the originals imagine #the vampire diaries imagine #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson imagine #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson smut #kol mikaelson smut #smut

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depressedhatakekakashi · 3 years

Note

An au where Sakura is the one who gets the crush on Lee (not that lee rejects it like sakura did in canon- hes so flustered he doesnt know what to think at first everyone thinks hes a loser but not sakura omg) and its just kakashi and sakura day dreaming about their men taking turns making compliments but it applies to gai and lee so they both sigh dreamily afterwards and keep goinnd everyone around them just... you weirdos...

Sakura genuinely doesn’t know about Lee until he approaches Sasuke for a match before the chunin exams. She doesn’t think much about him at first honestly, neither good nor bad, but seeing him in action? How smoothly he moves in battle and how swiftly he’s able to take down both of her teammates as if it’s no problem? She’s damn impressed.

And then over the course of the chunin exams, she gets to know him. He helps her protect her team against attack, watches him in the battle against Gaara. It’s a lot to take in and before she knows it there’s this warm feeling in her chest whenever she thinks about Lee.

after the chunin exams, while Lee is healing in the hospital, Sakura goes to visit him with flowers. She’s hoping to find him healing, but not at all surprised to find him outside trying to work out instead. Even with a broken leg and nurses telling him he likely won’t be a shinobi anymore, he refuses to give up. And honestly, she really likes that about him.

well the two of them are hanging out enjoying some conversation, Sakura can’t help but blurt out her feelings. Tell Lee that she really admires and likes him. Lee is flustered. he has never had someone say that they thought he was admirable and cute. That had had a crush on him. He does not know how to process.

Nothing comes out of it of course. There’s a month of training, and then all shit hits the fan and everything feels terrible.

Sakura still goes to train under Tsunade, but she also continues to train under Kakashi whenever he’s not on missions. One thing Kakashi does for her when he does have to go on missions though is asking Gai to help her with her taijutsu training.

This means a lot more time spent with Lee, and oh boy is that crush just getting worse.

By the time Naruto gets back from his training, Sakura’s crush has just gotten worse. She loves spending time with lee. Training with him, getting coffee with him, just relaxing together. No matter what it is they’re doing she gets that same warm feeling in her chest.

For a while, she thinks it’s just her. That everyone else might think she has lost her mind and just needs to ‘find someone better. But then she goes to meet Lee for training one day and finds Kakashi-sensei sitting nearby watching Lee and Gai. Eyes glued on Gai.

Not wanting to interrupt the spar already going on, she decides to take a seat beside her sensei and watch as well.

And then it happens.

She’s watching Lee as he dodges under Gai’s kick and before she can stop herself she sighs that dreamy sigh and says “He’s so handsome”. As soon as she realizes what she said, she feels her heart stop. Kakashi-sensei is a tease. he’s never going to let her live this down. He’s going to make fun of her until the day she dies about this.

But instead of hearing a laugh, or a jab at her expense, Sakura instead watches as Kakashi-sensei sighs and says “He really is” before really tuning into what just happened and looking at Sakura.

Now, Sakura knows he’s not talking about Lee. that would be gross and she would punch her Sensei, plus he wasn’t looking at Lee when he said it. His eyes were squarely on Gai-Sensei.

and Oh boy is she loving this. Not only can her sensei NOT tease her about her crush, but she’s not alone. There’s someone else who suffers from the love of a bowl-cut powerhouse.

The next hour is spent with the two of them just sitting there talking about all of the things they love about their bowl-cut sporting beauties.

Sakura: He’s just so dedicated and strong. I don’t think I have ever seen anyone work as hard as him to become a shinobi.

Kakashi: And sweet. Gai’s such a sweetheart. Always looking out for me.

Sakura: And the smile

Kakashi: oh the smile. So bright and warm.

Needless to say, the two of them just end up sitting there the entire time complimenting their respective crushes. by the time Gai and Lee even realize they’re there they’ve made an entire list of all the things they adore about them.

The two of them also have enough blackmail on each other that they will be acting super sweet to the other person for years to come. There’s no way they want anyone else to know that conversation they had. It needs to stay between them.

But it does help Sakura gain the confidence to finally ask Lee out on a date. If her weirdo of a Sensei can get a boyfriend, surely she can too. Right?

#Kakagai #SakuLee #Anonymous

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mari-beau · 3 years

Text

GIVE ME A REASON: PART SEVEN -A Rogue One fanfic

Final part to this story! 😘😘😘

Read on AO3

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Title: Give Me A Reason: Part Seven

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Jyn Erso POV, Cassian Andor

Pairing: Cassian/Jyn (mostly pre-ship?)

Spoilers: Rogue One; Episode IV A New Hope

Setting: Post-Rogue One AU (Cassian & Jyn live); Also during/post A New Hope

Warnings: None?

Words: 2,888

Story Summary: Jyn’s entire universe has been turned on its head, so maybe she’s clinging a little too hard to the one thing she feels certain of (strangely enough) as she tries to figure out her place in the galaxy. And maybe she’s being a little overprotective of a wounded captain.

Also can be found on AO3.

Nervous.

The hardened rebel spy was nervous. So was Jyn, of course, but it was still a surprise to find the tangible expression of Cassian’s jangled nerves. She thought he’d be better at hiding it. At hiding all of his emotions when he wanted.

But maybe he didn’t feel the need to hide it from her? Although it was a subconscious tick he probably wasn’t aware of… Which wasn’t helping the butterflies in Jyn’s own stomach. In fact, it was really starting to annoy her.

She reached for his hand, wrapping her fingers around his in an attempt to still their drumming against the side of his leg. He was still standing, but with no thanks to the Alliance. The inconsiderate bastards could’ve maybe provided a chair for the wounded captain. Not that Cassian would’ve accepted, anyway. At least everyone was just milling about until the ceremony started, so they were able to take a position against the wall, allowing Cassian to casually lean against the immense stonework for support.

He’d been looking around the large hall, watching the crowd of Alliance personnel and council members, observing and evaluating, as the spy habitually did. But when she touched him, his eyes snapped immediately to her hand on his. They widened and then that furrow formed between his brows and he frowned.

So that was how it was going to be?

In his bed, he could hold her so tight their bodies practically fused together, could nuzzle her neck, his lips could ghost over her skin in tantalizing, teasing non-kisses, he could lean into the touch of her palm on his cheek, make salacious pleased noises when she stroked his head and neck, or trailed fingers down his spine. But any sort of affectionate display in public wasn’t allowed.

Not that she wouldn’t have grabbed his hand to still his annoyingly drumming fingers if they were only just friends. They were only just friends, anyway.

He twisted his hand free, gently, casually, but removed it from her grasp nonetheless.

His dark eyes met hers and she held the gaze. Let him see the hurt, even as she thought it a stupid thing to feel hurt about. And yet… Meeting Cassian Andor had redefined her world, her existence, how she felt, how she dealt with those feelings. Her very place in the galaxy seemed to have changed.

Because here she was in a giant hall in a ruined temple, surrounded by hundreds of Alliance soldiers, waiting for a princess to tell her ‘good job’ or some such. But even stranger, she was standing beside a person she truly trusted. She couldn’t remember ever trusting anyone before, not wholeheartedly, with no reservations, no reluctance or doubt. Not since she was a child living in that cozy home with her parents that now seemed a dream.

This seemed rather dreamlike, too. Mon Mothma, the head of the Alliance’s council, dressed in regal white, looking like some ethereal being -maybe the ones Cassian had told her about in that intimate, vulnerable moment- had entered the hall and a hush formed as everyone scrambled into neat military rows, coming to attention as the elegant woman approached the dias.

She began to give a speech, but Jyn couldn’t focus on it. Cassian had started fidgeting again, shifting his weight and drumming his fingers against his leg. It seemed so entirely unlike him, and yet Jyn could sympathize. She had always tried to maintain an unreadable exterior, too, or rather, she had always tried not to feel things because everything she felt was too painful. She imagined it was similar with Cassian. And she imagined he was likewise nervous now, because being the center of attention felt wrong in every way, and just such a situation was imminent.

Jyn hated the idea of Cassian’s vulnerability being exposed to the world, that he would be required to limp the ridiculous distance up to the dias at the front of the room, in front of everyone, probably with her assistance, if he’d accept it. The man did not deserve anyone’s pity. They should only respect him for everything he’d done for the rebellion, for everything he’d sacrificed. And from what Jyn could tell, he didn’t even want that, it was so ingrained in him to work in the shadows.

She grabbed his hand again, but it was honestly more to calm herself than him. This time, though, his fingers encircled hers and did not pull away. His attention remained on Mon Mothma as she finished up her speech and introduced the princess.

Dank farrik.

Princess Leia was young and pretty, likewise clothed in regal white, but in a dress that hugged her perfect curves and accented the elegant line of her neck. Her brown hair and dark eyes offset her perfect porcelain skin. More enticing, the princess had the bearing of someone like Mon Mothma, but there was something more lively in her, adventurous and passionate maybe. Jyn would’ve felt justified in her previous unwarranted flash of jealousy when Cassian had described Leia Organa as if he knew the young woman, if Jyn didn’t find the princess extremely attractive herself. Force, if it didn’t feel like Cassian had been imprinted on her very soul, and if Jyn’s libido hadn’t already decided it wanted him and no one else would suffice… But a princess would’ve been way out of her league, anyway.

Cassian’s fingers squeezed her hand, and he leaned in, a whisper tickling her ear.

“You’re staring.”

“I’m just paying attention,” she whispered back.

A very quiet chuckle escaped him.

“Sure,” he said and she glared at him but continued to hold his hand, an anchor against the tide of nerves roiling in her stomach. “Why were you surprised that I might... kiss men sometimes? You like both men and women, too?”

“I rarely like anyone.” She stroked her thumb over the soft flesh at the base of his thumb. “But when I’m attracted to someone, it doesn’t seem to matter what their gender is.”

If they were pretty, they were pretty. She couldn’t really say why or what criteria made someone attractive to her. Although Leia had some gorgeous brown eyes. And so did Cassian for that matter, although his were a little darker, and as much playful as perceptive as they studied her face. And maybe she had become so soft that she’d gone to actual mush, because she could stare into those eyes forever.

Was that her thing? Is that what did it for her? Was she an ‘eyes’ girl?

Oh. Maybe she was. Because she found herself utterly captivated by Cassian’s beautiful eyes, finding everything she wanted and more in their dark depths... An if she didn’t know better... She could swear that he wanted-

“Captain Andor. Jyn Erso.”

Jyn nearly jumped out of her skin. Alarm likewise flashed across Cassian’s face before it was promptly hidden by a facade of professional pleasantness as he straightened. His hand slipped out of hers but landed at the small of her back to urge her forward out of the ranks.

And then Jyn found herself face to face with Leia Organa. And felt such gratitude that the princess had come to them and not made Cassian come to her, limping on an unsteady, barely begun to heal leg, that Jyn found herself smiling broadly, genuinely, at the kriffing gorgeous young woman.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for the rebellion. I know you’ve lost much.”

Jyn bowed her head, although being as small as she was, the even more petite princess still could’ve managed to drape the medal over her head with no problem.

“We all have lost too much,” Cassian said, after bowing to receive his own medal from the princess.

Leia Organa was good at maintaining her facade but Jyn saw the sadness in the young woman’s eyes. Jyn had cried while Cassian was in deep, medicated sleep, when she heard that Alderaan had been destroyed, feeling like she had failed after all. But what pain that loss was to its princess, Jyn couldn’t quite fathom. She had lost much, her parents, her childhood, but she had never loved an entire planet, full of people who she was a leader to. She had sort of led a unit of soldiers. And they all had died. And that was agony.

Except for Cassian. She still had Cassian. And if Jyn was honest, he was more than an entire world to her. He was a kriffing galaxy. She slid her arm around his waist because his hand on her back was not providing enough contact when Jyn felt like she might fall to pieces at any moment.

“I’m truly glad you both survived Scarif,” Princess Leia said, as if the loss of just two more lives would’ve crushed her, that the knowledge that some had survived, that some could and would survive this fight, was what kept her going. “Your bravery has saved us all.”

“Thank you,” Jyn said, unable to think of anything else to say.

The princess inclined her head, a bittersweet smile on her face, before she turned and began walking back to the dias. When Jyn returned her attention to Cassian, he was looking at her again with that expression in his eyes.

“We should probably get back in line,” she whispered, but was unable to break away from his captivating gaze.

“When have you ever been one to stay in line, Jyn Erso?” There was the small flash of his tongue wetting his bottom lip and Jyn nearly forgot how to breathe. No longer fixated by his eyes but his mouth. Was he-

His hand at the small of her back urged her closer, his other hand cupping her face and-

Oh.

Cassian Andor’s kiss was… Perfection. It was everything a first kiss, any kiss should be, excited and eager at the start, making it perhaps a little too rough when his mouth crashed against hers, but then suddenly softer, gentle, a tentative question, which she returned, sliding her lips against his, parting them in invitation, which he accepted, deepening the kiss. He tilted his head, angling his mouth against hers, sucking at her top lip then her bottom, submitting to her own explorative press and slide of her lips, the small nips she made with the edge of her teeth. His tongue darted over her lips, swiping into her mouth just the smallest fraction, just enough to tease and tantalize and make her release a groan of pure carnal want.

The room, the world, had faded away entirely but suddenly came crashing back hard. People were hooting and clapping, whistling and chuckling and shouting lewd, encouraging comments. Cassian broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against hers for a moment.

He had just kissed her. In front of everyone. They might as well have been standing on that dias, in front of the princess, making out for the entire Alliance to see.

“You kissed me,” she said, still incredulous.

“Yes,” Cassian met her gaze with his dark brown eyes, which seemed to be honest-to-goodness twinkling, for Force’s sake. “And you kissed me back.”

“But, you kissed me. In public. In front of everyone.”

“Yes.” Cassian was a good liar, pretending that it wasn’t a big deal for him to so openly display an emotion such as affection. He shrugged. “It was a bit territorial of me. Sorry.”

Jyn hadn’t even thought of that. She was so busy fighting her possessive feelings for Cassian, it hadn’t occurred to her he might be feeling possessive of her.

“Don’t apologize.” Don’t take it back. Please.

He smiled at her. And parts of her that she hadn’t previously known existed before meeting him, responded, filling her with warmth, as seemed inevitable whenever she was in the glow of that smile of his.

“Let’s get out of here while we can,” he leaned in to whisper, a little closer than necessary so that his mouth was just a couple of teasing inches away from hers.

“Yeah,” Jyn whispered back. “Your leg must be bothering you. I think we need to get you back to bed.”

His mouth twitched and he raised his eyebrows at her. Like he was in any condition to follow through on the innuendo that she actually hadn’t intended.

“Do you know of… er… a back way out of here?” Jyn asked as they ducked back into line. Things seemed to be picking up for the next part of the ceremony. And she’d honestly had enough pomp and circumstance for the day.

“Of course. I’m a spy,” Cassian said, giving Jyn a wink as he took her hand and somehow began to sidle through the ranks of rebel soldiers, weaving seamlessly between them and towing Jyn along, none the worse for wear for his injured leg.

They managed to reach the wall, slide along it and duck into a shadowy corner that was the entrance to a hidden narrow hallway just as all the troops came to attention and did an about face. Apparently the heroes of the Battle of Yavin were making their grand entrance. Jyn would’ve been curious about them if she wasn’t being towed along by the most compelling person she’d ever met, the most frustrating, uptight, passionate, tortured, beautiful man in the galaxy.

Halfway back to his quarters, his limp was worsening, so Jyn pulled her hand out of his and slipped her arm around his waist. It was difficult to say whether he maybe just wasn’t as much a stubbornly independent sort as she thought, or whether he trusted her like no other. But either way, he accepted her help and being snuggled up against him felt like where she belonged.

When they reached his quarters, Cassian collapsed onto his bed with a sigh. It had been a long day, even for her, and she was only recovering from comparatively minor injuries. So she was actually a little surprised when he didn’t immediately pass out. Instead, he gave her that look again.

“Come here.” Sitting up, he reached for her. And Jyn came, more than willingly, practically jumping into his lap, only hesitating when part of her shouted to be careful not to hurt him.

He smiled. Oh, that smile.

“It’s okay.” His hands found her waist. And oh, they fit her curves like they were made to hold her.

“But your injuries. I don’t want-”

“Straddle me.” He tugged gently at her waist. Heat blazed through her, and a wanting she’d never experienced the likes of before. “You can keep your weight off me that way, if you want.”

“Oh, right.” She put a knee on the bed on either side of his thighs, settled onto his lap without -he was right- placing her full weight on him. Cassian made a pleased noise, his hands never leaving her waist, but beginning to stroke up and down her sides, beneath her vest but separated from her bare skin by the fabric of her shirt, which she was honestly a bit thankful for. Her senses, her kriffing emotions, were already overwhelmed, especially when she looked down to find his face tilted up towards hers, his pretty dark eyes fixed on her, showing her everything he kept locked up so deep inside.

His eyes were all soft and imploring, filled with a desperate need to give and receive affection, to be understood and loved, to connect with another person on a soul deep level, emotionally… physically. It made her heart race and her skin prickle with gooseflesh. She had the same longing she had never been able to define before.

Jyn took his face in her hands, leaned down and kissed him. It was as good as the first time. Maybe even better. No less eager for one another, the ambrace was enthusiastic and a bit sloppy. But it slowed to that intense teasing exploration of one another, this time deepened by their tongues eager to taste one another, stroke and caress. The kiss was seeking and answering. It was… It was...

Kissing Cassian was a revelation. Not just confirmation that her attraction to him was reciprocated, but a soul-baring epiphany.

Most of her life, all of her adult life, Jyn had had nothing beyond surviving, no reason for living besides that death was the alternative. Cassian had tried to give her one, give her the Cause, his cause, the Rebellion. And for a while, she’d adopted it. She would still make it hers. But she was too cynical for it to be her reason for living. And if she was truly honest with herself, it was only her Cause because it was his.

Cassian Andor had given her something to live for, something to fight for, but it wasn’t what either of them pretended it was.

He was her reason. He was her Cause.

The kiss broke, and Jyn rested her forehead against his, the need to be close persisting despite the biological requirement that they break for want of air. His hands released her waist to cradle her face.

“Cassian…” She could barely recognize her own breathy whisper, could not find any words.

His thumbs stroke her cheeks and he sighed, his voice low and husky when he spoke.

“Me, too, Jyn. Me, too.”

END

#fic: give me a reason #rogue one #rebelcaptain #fanfiction #Cassian x Jyn #Cassian Andor #Jyn Erso #my fic

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