#its good my dad doesnt have a twitter but he would do numbers on there in the same way donald trump did | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hauntedbythefanficsofmypast · 4 years

Text

Daminette Rough Layout AU #1

Warning- This is a Salt AU, it contains Lila salt, Adrien Salt, Alya Salt and Class Salt. Some of the Salt is dramatized, pkease read at your own digression.

Note- Changing things up a bit-they are in high school now-Damian 16 and Marinette 15 and juniors, obviously things are different from canon. Gabriel gave up both miraculous after Adrien dies in one of the akuma fights, he has Nooroo and Duusu bring them to the guardian. Marinette helps heal Duusu so that if he is ever used again the holder will not start to die. Soon after Master Fu takes back Adrien's miraculous and names Marinette the guardian.

He doesnt lose his memories but he does pass away a week later. Marinette also deletes her original website and makes and entire new one under MDC designs after Lila threatens to leave bad reviews.(This happens before she meets Damian, right when they are entering high school.)

They met online after Damian got tired of his brothers making fun of him for talking like an old man. He found Marinette on Twitter, (She has a very popular Twitter blog where she Tweets in English and is considered a meme god.) and after reading her tweets decided that she'd be a good teacher.

After reaching out they agreed on how much she'll be paid and a time that works best for both of them. Every Monday & Wednesday the video chat when Damian has his lunch and study period. For Damian it is 12 to 1 pm, and for Marinette it is 7 to 8 pm. After two months Marinette has successfully made Damian her friend, and he has began opening up to her more. Meanwhile Damian begins to mess with his brothers using memes.

Tim to Jason- I will die if I don't get coffee soon.

Damian passing by the kitchen on his phone- Then perish.

Jason-...Did he just?

Tim- Impossible.

_____________

Dick over the coms while on patrol-I really want candy right now.

Damian drops down next to him and pulls a tidepod of of his belt giving it to Dick before continuing on.

Dick-What the fuck...

Tim having seen from a distance-What did Damian give you candy?

Dick- He gave me a tidepod.

Jason-Your shitting me Goldie.

______________

Jason-What are you eating Damian?

Damian taking a bite of a pop tart- Ravioli...

Jason-Im going fucking crazy.

Alfred-Language Master Jason.

They now text each other durning their free time, Marinette loves receiving pictures of Damian's pets and silly pictures of Damian's friend Jon. Damian loves seeing pictures of her newest designs and Paris at night.

Jon is the only person who knows about Marinette and thats because he crashed one of Damian's classes. He gushes over the fact that Damian is talking to his favorite person on Twitter, then full on fanboys a second later when she follows him back on Twitter. Soon after she becomes friends with Jon too, Lila comes back. After two weeks of fighting her she stops after both Damian and Jon point out that if her classmates were really her friends they wouldnt believe someone they just met over her. Marinette stops doing extra things for the class no more free pastries, banners, clothes or anything. She spends majority of her time on school work, her comissions and talking with Damian and Jon.

Madame Bustier at one point asks her to stay after class. She tells her she is disappointed that Marinette is distancing herself form the class so much. Marinette just tells her that she is done, that if she wants a perfect role model then she should use Lila instead and leaves. The next day she tells Madame Bustier she is stepping down as class president, everyone in the class except for Chloe and Marinette vote for Lila. Marinette has had more free time then she has had in a while and is thriving. She is able to take more and more commissions and even allows Jagged and Clara to give other celebrities access to her website. With a push from Jon she also sets up a Twitter and Instagram account under MDC Designs. With in no time everyone is trying to get an MDC original.

At one point she gets a call from Jon asking her how much it would cost for a MDC original for his mom. Marinette smiles softly telling him to just get his moms measurements for her. When he argues she finally agrees to accept payment but gives him a family discount. Jon agrees with a huff, a month later Jon sends her a video of his mom opening his gift.

Lois-Oh Jon love you know you didnt have to get me anything.

Jon-And let Connor out do me this year? No way.

Connor laughing-Oh shut it Jon!

Jon-cone on open it already mom!

Lois lauging before unwrapping the box- Is this? Jon is this a MDC box?

Connor looking at him with wide eyes.

Jon-open it and see!

Clark-So thats why you asked me for her measurements.

Lois pulls a beautiful knee length navy blue pencil dress. It had a classy V neck and flounce bell sleeves Jon is this and MDC original?

Jon-weeell if you look at the inside of the right sleeve your see her signature marking. Thats not all though mom theres another box!

Lois grabs the other box and unwraps it opening it quickly to find a pair of white lace up Oxford pumps with matching navy laces, MDC hand stitched on the back in navy.

Lois-How did you-how did you get MDC originals?

Jon laughing-I'll never tell!

Marinette saves the video on her phone and tells him he wants a photo of her in it for her website. A week later he send her pictures of his mom in the outfit posing with his dad and the next day he send pictures of her posing with Bruce Wayne on the red carpet. She quickly posts them on Instagram and Twitter tagging Lois, Clark, Bruce and Daily Planet.

'I knew Mrs. Lane would make this one of a kind outfit look beautiful! I was happy to make the dress and shoes as a surprise from her son! Mrs. Lane your son has my number, if you ever want another original talk to him! 💋'

Lois immediately responds to her tweet thank her for the amazing gift, while also asking how her son got in contact with MDC.

Marinette- ' 🤫🤫😘😘💋'

Jon-'You'll never know!!'

Lois, with her bosses approval, writes an article joking about the mystery that is MDC at also an interview where she grills her son on how he knows MDC.

Its a blows up and part of Jon's interview becomes a meme. This part;

Jon-Superman, please come save me from my mom!

Marinette being the meme godess she is decides to quote it on Twitter, but she messes up and posts it on MDC desgins.

MDC-Superman, please come save me from these deadlines!

Half an hour later

MDC-That was meant for my personal Twitter...

Now everyone is also talking about MDC memeing.

After talking with the Kwami Marinette decides to tell Damian and Jon about her time as Ladybug, and how she still goes out and patrols to stop muggers. In return one day Damian and Jon flies him and Damian to paris and they finally meet in person and they tell her their own identities. They leave Gotham at 7 am in Gotham and make it to Paris at 3 pm and wait for her outside of her parents bakery. Marinette flips out and practically tackles the both if them in a hug. She pulls them inside happily introducing her parents to her American friends. After they tell her they decide to spend the rest of the day together. Marinette also takes their measurements telling them its for a surprise. Damian tells her that his brothers are obsessed with MDC and how the wouldnt stop hounding Jon when they found out he had gotten in contact with her.

They go out and Marinette shows them Paris while Jon is slowly pushing them together. He is ecstatic when Marinette wraps one of her fingers around Damien's finger and he respond by grabbing and holding her hand. They are all immensly happy until they are passing by a park and notices her class having a party. At first she doesnt care and just shrugs it off, until the class notices them. Alya accuses Marinette of trying to start drama, she rolls her eyes telling Alya she didnt even know about the party and was just showing her friends around. Damian frowns glaring at the class when he feels Marinette hand start to shake and releases her hand wrapping an arm around her waist in support. Jon is also frowning but simply reminds Marinette that they were going out to eat. Marinette nods and begins telling them about the restaurant they were going to while leaning into Damian's side.

They turn leaving the class behind only for Adrien to hurry after them. Adrien tries to convince Marinette to return and spend time with the class saying he missed his friend. Marinette tells him that they arent friends anymore, that friends dont allow lies to be spread about their friends. She takes the boys and they finally make it to the restaurant.

Damian pays refusing to let Marinette or Jon touch the check. They spend the rest of their time at Marinette's house watching movies until they leave at 9pm wishing Marinette goodnight and making it back to Gotham at 3 pm. When they get back to the manor Bruce confronts Damian asking why he got notified that Damian's card had been used in Paris. Thats how Bruce finds out about Marinette.

Bruce- shes been teaching you memes?

Damian-yes.

Bruce-...well at least your making friends.

Damian-dont tell the others, they'll want to meet her and Id rather not be embarrassed

Bruce-I wont say anything until they catch you then.

Around the end of Marinette's junior year Lila accuses Marinette of theft and she is once again expelled. Only this time Marinette gets the school board involved and she is quickly cleared of charges. once again. However she decides not to return to the school tired of their treatment. Instead with the help of Jagged and her parents permission she enrolls at Gotham Academy and doesnt tell Damian to surprise him. Jon does know that way he could help her.

Within the week Marinette is in Gotham in her new penthouse apartment with her new gaurdian, a maid/nanny that Penny had recommended. Her name is Margaery she is in her 60s. The next day Marinette is dropped of at school by Margaery, Jon is already there early and helps her get his schedule and everything. Then they wait for Damian to arrive hiding until the see him open his locker Jon distracts him while Marinette hides behind the locker door. The school is very surprised whe. Damian smiles brightly at seeing her. Within the day she is known around the school as both Sunshine and Gotham's new Goddess.

Soon enough Damian Marinette and Jon are never seen withiut tge other except in classes. Many teachers see Marinette as a blessing classes have been calmer shes always willing to volunteer and shes even started tutoring some of the students. Even though she entered late in the year she starts to help the student council and things were more organized and running smoother. What everyone is really happy about is how she seems to bring out the teen in Damian and encourage him to act his age. The only reason they havent posted about her and Damian's relationship is because Damian made it clear he didnt want his family to know.

He starts calling her Angel and Red Bird. Marinette starts calling him Dove and Birdie. They slowly start going on dates while also making sure to hang out with Jon so he didnt feel left behind. Its the beginning of summer when Marinette gets invited to a Wayne gala by Bruce himself with a little note.

'Miss Dupain-Cheng, I would like to meet the girl that has stolen my youngest's attention. Please do not inform him I invited you, I think it will be quite the surprise for him. -Bruce Wayne

She tells Damian to wear a seafoam green tie because it will bring out his eyes, in a sly way so that they will be matching. She then makes a seafoam green Asymmetrical A-line off the shoulders dress adding layers of tulle that forms teirs and finishes with horsehair hemlines. The MDC signature is stictched on to the second layer of tulle.

The night of the Gala she is dropped off by Margaery and Jon leaves his parents to meet her. She tells him that Damian didnt know either and Bruce wanted to surprise him. Jon starts laughing causing Marinette to dissolve into giggles. This catches Jon's parents eyes and they walk over. Jon wuickly introduces her as one of his best friends. Lois and Marinette quickly hit it off and enter the gala together with Jon and Clark following behind them. After 5 minutes Damian spots them, and discreetly hurries over to them.

Damian-Angel!

Lois and Clark are surprised at the nickname and that Damian is smiling even more surprised when he hugs her and holds her hand gently. They stare into each others eyes for a moment until Lois coughs catching boths attention. Damian greets them as he lets go of Marinette's hand wrapping an arm around her waist as she does the same. They stand talking with each other until Lois spots someone she wants to interview and hurries off with Clark. The three of them share a look before all saying food at once. Jon walks ahead of them as Marinette and Damian follow talking to themselves.

M-'Your father wanted to meet me so Im afraid I will no longer be a secret.'

D-'Of course he did, I was hoping to keep those embarrassments known as my brothers away.'

This causes Marinette to laugh leaning her head on his shoulder.

M-'I am sure they arent that bad.'

They spend a good half hour talking with Jon and eating before Bruce finds them and introduces himself to Marinette. Five minutes later she notices Damian's brothers starring at them in shock. She starts giggling and points it out to Damian who groans. Soon after the boys rush over to interrogate their brother dragging him away from Marinette Jon and Bruce.

While Damian is dealing with them Jagged and Penny both find Marinette. Eventually the boys force Damian to introduce them to Marinette. She hits it off with all of them promising to visit the mansion. Jon convinces Damian to ask Marinette to be his girlfriend. He asks her to dance with him and asks while they are dancing. That night Marinette Damian and Jon leave together for an impromptu sleepover at Marinette's. Margaery picks them up greeting both parents and assuring them that there kids will be safe, and they will be camping out in the living room.

Marinette surprises the boys with handmade pjs once they get to her house and Margaery surprises them with cookies. The next day she goes to the mansion with Damian and gets to know his brothers more piecing together who is who of the Batfamily. At one point Jason insinuates that Marinette couldnt fight so she challenges his to a spar. Jason being cocky holds back and gets his butt kicked, he asks for a rematch and doesnt hold back this time, still gets his butt kicked.

While Damian and Marinette are saying goodbye she jokes about how long its going to take his siblings to realize shes a hero not a civilian. Damian finds it hilarious. When Marinette gets home she tells Margaery that she was going up to the roof to look at the stars for inspiration. Margaery allows her making her take a blanket, hor chocolate and some cookies with her. That night Nightwing lands on her roof and 'startles' causing her to throw her cup at him hitting him in the gut

Robin chuckling-That bitch empty,

Mari and Robin together-Yeet!

Marinette laughs offering him a cookie as Nightwing gets up

Nightwing-Nice throw.

Marinette laughs harder her eyes twinkling.

Mari-Sorry you startled me I must have lost track of time I should head back home now. Have a safe patrol Birdies!

She says before passing other of them leaving the plate of cookies behind for them. Over the summer Marinette and Damian visit her parents for two weeks before returning to Gotham. The rest of the summer is filled with dates between her and Damian the Gotham Gazette is having a field day with them.

They're referred to as the Goddess and the Prince and every date is talked about the next day. When summer is over Marinette Damian and Jon are back for their senior year. Marinette decides to run for student body president and Jon runs as her vice president, they both tease Damian about being the trophy boyfriend and he responds that he is fine with it as long as hes the trophy boyfriend to Marinette. Marinette and Jon win with an almost unanimous vote. It is half way through their senior year when Damian's brothers realize she knows. Bruce and Babs already know. Jason teasingly jokes about Damian outing them to a civilian and Marinette jist goes

Marinette-Jayby(This is her nickname for him), I have beaten you in spars 9 out of 10 times and you still think Im a civilian.

Tim-What?

Marinette sighs before calling Tiki out and transforming. (She has a different outfit. Period. Her hair is pulled into a high ponytail, held by a red ribbon. It has a completely black mask, her top was sleeveless and was a deep red. She had gloves that stopped at her elbows the same deep red but with black poka-dots. Her pants were completely black with a red belt holding her yoyo. Her outfit was finished with red combat boots with black soles.) Everyone is silent as they taken in her outfit.

Damian-God your so beautiful.

Marinette-Aw Dove

Que a sweet kiss where Jason gags jokingly before Tim flips out about her being Ladybug. Marinette jokingly says that he didnt react that way to her being MDC.

Tim-what?

Dick-This time your oulling my leg.

Marinette-You didnt know? I was always giving you guys family discounts.

Tim-Your MDC...my favorite fashion designer is my future sister-in-law. Thats why your commissions always seemed cheaper than others. Im chalant right now.

This causes Dick to burst out laughing.

Dick-Really becuase Im whelmed!

Bruce smiles slightly remembering when his eldest would use to his 'Unwords' all the time.

That night Marinette patrols with them and Gotham gains a new hero LadyBird. With a little shove from Damian and begging from Tim, Marinette begins to grow MDC even more by partnering with Wayne Enterprises. Marinette and Damian are the power couple of the school, they have majority of their classes together both being in AP and Honors classes. As the school president Marinette is notified that during the last quarter of second semester a French class is doing an exchange program at Gotham Academy.

Her and Jon have to escort them around the school the first week. Marinette argues a bit at first.

Mari-I understand that it is important but Jon and I are still heavily working on Prom, Senior's Last Peprally, Senior Awards, Senior vs Freshman Football, Prom King and Queen vote and The Senior trip.

Jon-Mari is right is there anyway we could pick someone else to show them around. There are a few other people in student council that speak French.

They both convince the Principal to allow the Secretary of the Student Council, Candy St.Cloud, to show them around. Marinette, Jon and Damian avoid them, none of Marinette's old class knows Marinette is there until votes for Prom King and Queen pops up and Marinette's name is on the ballet.

Lila bursts into tears claiming her Dami promised her she'd be on the ballet since he goes to that school. They all try to hunt her down and give her shit for booting Lila off. However majority of Gotham academy has noticed their attitude towards Gotham's Goddess and everyone makes sure Marinette is unreachable.

They pretty much only see glimpses of her until Senior's Last Peprally when she and Damian are announced Prom King and Queen. Their boos are covered up by the school's cheers. Marinette and Damian share a quick kiss which causes more cheers as the teachers roll their eyes calling out Pda. Then both her and Jon announce whats going to be happening at the peprally.

At the end of it all the seniors get together for one last class photo in the front is Jon Marinette and Damian. Damian and Marinette are wearing the sashes and crowns and Marinette is in the middle of them. Bustier's class is upset they cant be a part of the picture because they arent actually seniors at the school. The next night is Senior awards the class doesnt go but the trio does.

Marinette and Damian get best couple.

Damian gets the award for best grades.

Jon gets the award for most likely to secede in life.

That night all three are on the news and trending on Twitter when they go out to celebrate at Bat Burger, videos and pictures are posted off Marinette and Jon dying of laughter as Damian cuts his burger with a knife and fork. At the hotel Lila is crying claiming that Damian is cheating in her with Marinette. The class continuously message Marinette even when they get a response saying that the person is not Marinette amd that they've had the number for two months.

The next day at lunch they confront Marinette, they followed Jon to the room the Student council eat lunch in. Que them berating Marinette infront of everyone including the teachers. Marinette just rolls her eyes not wanting to give them the time of day.

Alya-I cant believe you tricked Lila's boyfriend into dating a bully like you!

This causes Jon to launch to her defense, he steps in front of Marinette glaring at the class.

Jon-Lila's boyfriend?? You mean Damian, so Lila was dating Damian first?

Lila-Yes! And Marinette purposely seduced him!

Jon-Really tell me when did you firat meet Damian?

Lila-oh he was so sweet! It was when we were 6 and we met at a gala here in Gotham! A older women was being incredibly mean to me and he stood up for me telling me that he'd have his dad kick her out. We were always meeting up over the summer and started dating at the beginning of senior year!

Jon-Oh so you know Arabic?

Lila-What?

Jon smirking-Well Damian didnt learn English until he was 8, his first language is English. Also you couldn't possibly have met Damian here when he was 6 because Damian didn't come to Gotham until he was 10. When his dad was informed that he had a son. On top of that Damian spends every summer with his family and closest friends. Actually he usually spends a few weeks on my family's farm, this summer he didnt because he went to Paris with Marinette. Also at the beginning of senior year? St. Cloud, when did Damian ask Marinette out.

St. Cloud- Beginning of the summer at Mr. Wayne's first charity gala of the summer, he asked her while they were dancing. It was really cute and Marinette looked amazing in her MDC dress!

Mari-Thank you St. Cloud, I could give you her number if you'd like a dress

Lila runs away embarrassed the class starring at Jon and Marinette in shock.

Alya-who-who do you think you are?!

Mari-Alya do you really not recognize your idols son?

Marinette is disappointed as she introduces them to Jon Kent, after that the teacher finally forces the French class out, while also telling them how kuch trouble they'll be in.

The class starts trying to get on Marinette's good side for the rest of the year but she ignores them. Prom comes and goes and when its finally time for graduation Damian is valedictorian. He gives a fairly inspirational speech and at the end he smirks finishing it with.

Dami-And lastly I would like to thank my eldest brother, without him Id never be able to give this sappy inspirational speech, he is really good at them.

When they throw their caps in the air Damian finds Marinette and dips her pulling her into a deep kiss.

That night while they are all celebrating at the Wayne Mansion Marinette finally lets go of Paris, she decides that her place is in Gotham with Damian.

Lets do a time skip!

Marinette is the top name in Fashion, Damian is Co-Ceo of Wayne enterprises with Tim. They are both married and living in Marinette's penthouse together with Margaery, I am to emotionally invested to kill off her or Alfred even if it is do to age. They visit the mansion almost every day, and family dinners are common.

Jon started going out with St. Cloud and are engaged, he has also taken up the mantle of Superman.

Damian has taken up the mantle of Batman with his Robin, Johnn'i Thomas Grayson-Wayne, Richard and Koriand'r's second child that did not inherit his mothers powers, and his partner Ladybird. That is until Marinette discovers she is pregnant. She surprises the family while they are getting their family portrait redone, with only Kori and the photographer knowing.

All the girls are in chairs with the boys behind them. Seating goes.

Babs, Kate, Selina, Marinette, Kori, Stephanie, and Cass. For a few of the pictures Marinette holds up a sign saying, "Another Wayne is on the way!" Then they hide the sign so they have a regular family portrait.

A few days later when the entire family is gathered to see the photos they are surprised when Bruce stars at them in shock. Alfred and Margaery merly smile offering congratulations, everyone is confused until Bruce turns the picture around.

Damian is looking at the pictures in shock until he jumps up and picks up Marinette spinning her around. Soon everyone is screaming and cheering offering congratulations. While Damian and Marinette hold each other close crying softly.

Mari-Your gonna be a Daddy Dove.

Damian-I love you so much Marinette. So much.

948 notes · View notes

not-ur-normie · 4 years

Text

The demon brothers as a kpop group (+ Diavolo)

Hey there! This is my very first headcanon thingy, so i would like to apologise for my bad english, its not my mother language. Also, it was so long ago when i last wrote anything similar in english, so once again, sorry.

Anyway, i really wanted to write it, so let me know if you like it! + If you want general group headcanons with them as a kpop group, pls let me know it as well! (Or a similar one with Simeon, Luke and Solomon, hehe) Love!

The demon brothers as a kpop group (+Diavolo)

DIAVOLO - The CEO of the company - It was the main goal in all his life to see Lucifer shining on stage - Okay, not, actually he only knows Lucifer since a shitty survival program - I mean, Lucifer is already hiper super extra giga mega beautiful in his eyes, but! Lucifer! on! stage! is the main Lucifer - So he maid a company for him - Lucifer was like 'wtf dID U DO' (okay, he didnt say it in this way, but-) - He is an understanding boss - Doesnt plan to debut any other group, so his company wont suck lol - Has all the money only for the bois - Altho he is really kind and understanding, he expects the guys to work extra hard do achive success - Sometimes goes to variety shows with his group and acting like a proud dad around them - Fans say that he is the 8th member of the group - Has his own fansites - Sometimes does modelling (has a duo photoshoot with Lucifer which he is extra proud of and some of its pieces are on his wall in a big canvas) - Fans ship him with Lucifer (not suprising) - He bought two houses next to each other. One is his and the other is the guys'. - Has a cameo in one of the mvs of the group - Does acting, has a lots of main roles - He is POPULAR

LUCIFER - Leader of the group - Also dad of the group (i mean if you dont count Diavolo) - He and the others participated in a survival program, but didnt make it - Got kicked out of their prev company - Thats when Diavolo became a fan of him and decided on founding one for him - Lucifer only agreed on joining if his teammeat could go too - Most popular in the group - Does everything Diavolo asks him to do - Makes the guys practicing till morning - Barely sleeps - Also does acting - Really bad at doing fanservice - Extremely caring towards fans - Always makes sure that the fans are doing okay, writes short messages on fancafe, uploads pictures (never about himself) on ig and twitter and reminds fans to take care of themselfs - Staying up super late to read fancafe letters from fans - Gives special attention to communicate with fans - However... He shamlessly blocks fans who upload meme pics about him or hurt his pride - HE IS SERIOUS - Thanks to this, fans never EVER mock him - Has a solo album - Won against his own group once in a music show (Levi said how it was not fair and Satan was pissed) - Never dyed his hair and never will - According to some poll, he is one of the most handsome men in kpop - He hates fanwars and when there is one, he tells the fans to stop - He also hates rumors

MAMMON - He wanted to became a worldwide idol so he can get more money - Actually he was really bad at everything when he joined that survival program - Fans started to love him bc of his hard work (((for the money))) - Always forgets their own choreography - The whole fandom jokes about how stupid he is - He is always truly offended and scolds the fans on vlive - Fans make memes out of him and love dissing him - Fans think he is super cute and he is loveing it - LOVES fansigns but always blushes if he needs to hold hands with fans - Tries to act tough anyway - Cries in every. fkin. concert. (giving birth to new memes lol) - Once made a "joke" about how fans should donate him money instead of giving presents and it became a HUGE scandal, Lucifer and Diavolo deadass wanted to kick him out of the group - Does vlive a lot bc he loves talking about everything: how he bought a new car, new shoes, how he wanted to prank Lucifer with Satan and how they failed blah blah and so on - He is that member with zero lines, but has fair screentime - Modelling and super popular - Tried acting bc "he is too good at everything" but failed (he is not too good, but too shy lol) - The loudest member - Variety shows love him thanks to his idiotism - He says he is the "cutie sexy" member of the team - Once a fan started crying in front of him at a fansign out of happiness and Mammon was so touched he started crying as well

LEVIATHAN - His nickname is Leviachan for a reason - Fans know how much of an otaku he is so they always buy him anime related stuff and LEVI IS TRULY HAPPY ALL THE TIME - He even post about his presents at twitter and ig - Does gameplay vlives - Also has a youtube channel where he uploads every kind of videos: gameplays, gameplays, anime reviews, manga recommendations, gameplays, videos about his Ruri-chan collection, gamplays... and more gameplays - Uploaded a video where he and Mammon tried to snake into Lucifer's room to film him while he is asleep, but got caught and Lucifer started to shout at them - He needed to deletet it bc Lucifer wanted to kill him for publishing it - Fans didnt reupload out of fear from Lucifer - Shy at fansigns but compfy with old fans and fansites - Doing cosplay - At the begining he was reather shy on stage, but since he got used to it... aegyo all the way - Loves when they promote in Japan - In variety shows when the mcs ask him about his hobbies he always ends up talking too much, so to others need to stop him - According to fans, he has e-boy vibes - He is the one who posts everything thats happening with them on twitter, so the fans really ALWAYS know whats up whit the guys - Once accidentally tweeted out their hotel room numbers and fans found them (Lucifer was hella angry)

SATAN - Mom of the group, even if he hates it - Like if Lucifer is the dad, no way that he is the mom - Also prince of the group - Has good vocals but can rap too - Writes lyrics - Started acting bc he was sure he is better than Lucifer - Won an award for his main role in a detective series - Has a whole collection of books bought by fans - Gets angry easily which is the reason why fans often mock and make memes about him - Reads the messages fans send him and replies; sometimes its only a heart, sometims its advice or kind words - Came up with the groups greeting - According to the other members fansites, he is so handsome that its hard to not take pictures of him - Thanks to this, all the others fansites have at least two posts about him - Fans going insane when he starts smiling - Plays the guitar - Multilanguage king - Cant do fanservice - Literally hates fanservice - Once in Weekly Idol, him and Lucifer needed to hold hands and say nice things to each other after the others told the mcs how awkward their relationship is - That was the worst moment in his entire life - Wanna do a solo album, but didnt have the chance yet (Diavolo promisd him tho) - He has th best fashion sense after Asmo - Has a cat in the dorm and the fans love it like its their own - He has a great memory, so he remembers the names of the fans who attended their fansigns at least two times

ASMODEUS - Main vocal of the group - Self claimed visual of the group - He posts the most, almost everyday - Loves doing make up - The most fashionable member - A big ass diva - Went to king of masked singer but didnt win it - Has a solo album - He loVES FANSERVICE, HE LIVES FOR IT - With members, with fans, it doesnt really matter - The best at fansigns, he is so direct - Hold hands with fans, gives hugs, let them touch him - On the groups YouTube channel, he has this special segment called "Asmo cam" - He shows whats happening in backstage during promotions - Designed their debut album's look - Also designed the lightstick - Complains to the stylists if he dislikes an outfit - MCing - Reads the fanfictions fans write about the group and teases the members with it - Doing shower vlives, where there is only voice, so the fans can hear him singing in the shower (he also brags about how beautiful he is and how unlucky his fans not seeing the full beauty of his body) - If a fan post about him saying dirty things, he will reply with even more dirtyer stuff - Most of his fans are hard stans

BEELZEBUB - Maybe i am headcanoning it wrong, but for me Beelzebub is a rapper - The only reason he is not part of the aegyo line bc he never does aegyo but naturally cute enough for fans to cry over his cuteness - He is so sad that fans mustnt give him food in fansigns, but Diavolo is against it out of fear of some antifan trying to poison them - Mukbang videos - Mukbang shows love and hate him at the same time - Eating everywhere and everytime - He even eats at the middle of concerts - Fans have a bunch of memes about him - According to fans, he is like a big puppy who must be protected by all costs - All cool and serious on stage, all cuddly and cutie off stage - Main dancer of the group, always helps with the choreographys - Has an own restaurant, where fans can buy his fav foods... And there is a lot of that - One of the sweetest bubs in fansigns, he is easygoing and thanks to this its not hard to talk to him - Fans dieing to see him take off his shirt, but it havent happend yet - In one of his birthday lives Mammon dropped his cake out of accident and HE WAS SUPER SAD - Most of his social media post are about food. What he ate, whats he wanna eating, what he recommends eating, notes to fans to dont forget to eat - Fans never tell him to dont forget to eat, bc they know he wouldnt - Fans ship him with Asmo and Belphie - Loves tours bc he can eat a lot of delicious food around the world

BELPHEGOR - Devil maknae - Makes fun of his hyungs, but loves them endlessly - Sleeps in backstage all the time; while his make up is done, while his hair is done, why waiting for rehearsal - Lucifer has the hardest time with him if it comes to practice - I mean, Belphie deadass can fall asleep the middle of some choreo - Didnt love doing agyeo, but fans are over the moon if he does, so he is doing it often - He doesnt have a fixed role in the group, sometimes he sings and sometimes he raps - One of the best dancers, but he is too lazy to show his full potential - He often falls asleep while doing vlives - Once in an ig live he told the fans that it doesnt bother him that they have haters, bc he hates the haters as well - He barely posts on social media; if there are pictures about him, they are mostly from the other members (especially from Beel) - He has a super big pillow he got from a fan to his birthday when he was still a trainee and this is his favourite pillow - He is the one with zero solo activity, bc if he has free time he reather sleeps than going to shoot something

Feel free to add anything that comes into your mind!

18 notes · View notes

doki-mocha · 4 years

Text

I came to this school with a 3.75 gpa. Now im at a 3.17. Dad says I stopped caring, but doesnt get that the more down the line you get and the more specialized your classes are, then the harder it gets. Why does getting B’s make me look so bad. Wheres the measuring cup of sweat and tears to grade how much effort we put in? Where’s my gold medal for throwing away years of my life for something im not good at. Why are you judging me on something you know im terrible at. The grades i get that are required for my major are Cs.

That sure says something huh Im working hard but my brain is incompatible with this work. How can my artsy adhd dumbass brain ever be considered a genius. “Show me your grades so i can be inspired” How about show you my grades so you can be disappointed.

The average number of classes a semester here is four, five is pushing it, but he wants six. Because more work means im working harder, No it means im spreading myself thinner. My brain can barely focus on one thing but doing multiple makes me do even worse. My brain has so much whirling around and i cant choose what it wants to focus on.

We’ll just waste more time and your money if you force evrything into one year and retaking it over and over instead of taki it slowly and getting it right. Im not a god, im not a genius. Im just doing my fucking best but no one appreciates it.

Im fucking crying again. He got mad at me for crying earlier. I cried because i said out loud “im doing my best but theres just so much already” i dont like saying things out loud, talking about my problems outloud. Thats why i rather type. No calls, no counselors, no heart to heart. Hearing myself with my voice talk about myself hurts, because admitting im struggling hurts

And i do struggle. Struggle with things normal people should do. Making a schedule and following that schedule. I bought a planner because i thought it would help, but guess what. The months on it are already invalid. I wrote in it once. It’s even hard to get started writing a schedule. I dont even show up to class on time. I dont sleep early because my brain wont let me work until laaate at night. So why do i even try.

They cant see the rusty gears in my head get clogged with gum because i cant fucking focus. Spending hours trying to get that gunk out using food, or music, or videos, or little doses of serotonin i get from video games or just drawing. How can i get these gears turning if there is no energy.

Does that make sense. Because im not making excuses. I open my book at 2pm but dont get the energy until 12am. I want to work. In my head as im finding music, im finding songs, im finding food, im playing quick games, or looking through twitter or tumblr. Im looking for something to pump energy and inspiration in me.

Im asking friends to give me goals so i have motivation from somewhere. I try to give myself goals saying ‘if you do this you get to eat this snack’ well guess what, i didnt get to eat that snack for four weeks. Make it five. Why? Because even eating food ive been meaning to takes time. This is why my food gets moldy. Because its so hard just to get to things, just to start, just to do.

Im not going off task on purpose, im not procrastinating on purpose, im not ignoring lectures on purpose. I do my work to the best of my ability. I read to the best of my ability. I learn to the best of my ability. But people expect 110% when i cant even give my 50%.

Thats a failing grade.

#maybe i do the things i love to cushion the blow of doing things i hate #however it takes weeks of that fluff to relieve just a teeny bit of damage from the crippling pain of even starting a project #not having anyone to support me really dampens the energy i was ready to give #i wanted to stop counseling to see what would happen. Cause i cant repeat the samething to them over and over #this struggle is with me forever. I can never give my all when i need to the most.#I dont even have the energy to draw anymore. Ill lay in bed and soak in the slow stream of happiness from my game #from 9am to 5am i just want to have some of my happiness fuel regenerated #why cant i relax for this week #the grind starts back on monday but you shame me for talking to my friends and playing games #what you want me to study all my life #if i did that then my life wouldve lasted 18 years like i planned it to be #people need breaks but look at this man #he has no hobbies and hes bored because he doesnt have work #all he does is nap and try to find things to cook #and be angry #we’re back to the routine of getting yelled at everyday #i have a hobby i have many hobbies. I find things to make me happy. He just remainsunhappy because all he thinks about is work #life is all work and no play but if that happened imagine the sales of ceiling fans #all those businessmen will be reinforcing those badboys and buying leather belts anda collapsable chair #using only one side of your brain makes you realize you dont need the other half and decide #hey i should just get rid of it with a shotgun #im being very morbid right now. My sadness has turned into my dark humor #i try to stray away from that but sometimes a hot piping dose of forced reality brings out the demons youve been keeping away #i still have salt tho so im not trying anything #the only thing i should be trying is sleep #its almost 6am ive been in the bathroom for an hour...i needed to wash my face #even nightly routines take hours #i wa ssupposed to do this at midnight but you know...animal crossing

3 notes · View notes

ghouls-dream · 5 years

Text

HC: So i decided to do that. For your enterteinment. i presENT YOU: ghost astrology. Papa Nihil - CAPRICORN : Since he is described as a powerful, firm leader with stamina and sexual energy (when younger). He seems to me like the old king in fairytales that refuses to give out his throne, no matter the fact that he's no longer suitable for it. Im not saying he's a bad person or anything, im just pointing out stuff i notice. And thats fine! Control and strictness is what keeps a good order and drives business ahead!

Papa Emeritus I - VIRGO: Now as the oldest one of the Emeritus brothers I strongly do believe he has the most of his father's influence, which doesnt necesserily make him bad or evil at all. In fact he tries his best to transform all the learnt lessons in something productive and useful for the new Papas! Basically helping them grow, teaching and showing them their ways in order for the bloodline to prospere. I imagine his number one mission would have been to fulfill his duty towards the Clergy and hiis father, but as well try to be a good exmaple for II and III.

Papa Emeritus II - ARIES: He is the middle child. Not too old, not too young but perfect to be between the hammer and the envil. I imagine him as a quick learner, deffintely has a lot from his father's leadership characte (big dick energy i mean), he's always trying to be better and stronger, trying to prove himself, to find his place in the family. Emeeritus II would deffinitely be the problematic child in my eyes, but also very passionate about his little brother - he'd protect him at all cost, which would probably cause HIM a lot of arguments with his father (punishments for instance), but also be extremely respectful towards the Emeritus bloodline.

Papa Emeritus III- SCORPIO: As being the youngest of his brothers, I suppose that III would be full of energy! I think he'll have a lot from his father's sexul energy and stamina, but he'd lack the leadership and strictness, when it comes to ruling. He'd be more of a friend with every single person rather than being their "Boss" (lol). Of course if needed be, III would probably make a good leader and a Papa - he'd do his best to keep everything under control, maybe he'd look for help or seek advice from his older brother so Papa Nihil doesnt think he is not fit for the place. But in general i think he has a soft heart, full of lust and desire. Papa III might be a little manipulative, sassy, flirty and secretive at times but oh well its part of his charm!

Cardinal Copia- LIBRA: Deffinitely a sass machine! He was the character that i was like 100% sure about! Cardi is a soft boi, he aint ashamed of it and he loves showing it to the people around him. His undying love for his rats and his geniuane good character are one of his best traits! Cardi tries his best to prove himself worthy in front of Papa and Imperator, no matter how sceptic the patriarch is. I imagine he'd be the sensitive type that would be in good humor all day, being all goofy and friendly with every single person, while doing his best to fullfil everyone's expectations.. And in the end of the day he'd just lay in his bed, stare at the ceiling and become way too self-critical about everything he had done during the day, which would lead to his hidden anxiety and maybe depression.

GHOULS. ERA 4. Aether- TAURUS: Beefy boi is definitely a Taurus. There is no other sign that fits him more than this one! He's humble, a good friend, really talkative, extremely friendly not only with the other band members, but the audiance as well! Aether gives out the 'big teddy bear' vibe and he's not afraid to show it. He loves a good company, I suppose he'd be one of the good chefs around the ghouls and he'd be more than glad to share this talent of his with the others! I imagine Aether as the jolly sweet friend who's always there to help and is really passionate and protective of the people he loves. Also - really sensitive, even tho he might not show it.

Dewdrop - ARIES: Hyperenergetic, attention loving slut. He's the human form of the word 'firecracker'. Dew is like a magnet for troubles, no wonder why he broke his horn! I suppose he'd have a lot of bruises on his body, maybe even tattooes! He is the sporty type - likes running, hopping, skipping around and most of all - terorizing evey single soul around him. What's more - he is 24/7 aroused and he aint afraid to show it. He's well aware of the fact he intimidates people with his sexually agressive aura and he enjoys every bit of it! Also stomping on stage and the little "guitar battles" he has with Aether sometimes is what keeps his competative spirit alive and in shape!

Rain- CANCER Softboi allert!!! Absolutely no doubt that Rain is a Cancer. He is one of the "quiet" ghouls on stage. He's not a fan of the attention like Dew for instance, he just loves to enjoy what he's doing! The vibe he sends out to the people is also really soft - Rain wants every single person to feel the melody of his bass in their hearts! For him, being a part of the band is like being a part of "God's work" to spread the gorgeous art of music! Rain loves to be surrounded by the people he loves and most deffinitely has anxiety around new people and sometimes on stage. He feels at peace while playing the bass and is also really caring and loving, always trying to make others comfortable around him!

Swiss - LEO: Swiss boi is definitely a Leo. He radiates such a strong sassy, flirty vibe i cant even. He loves dancing (obvs), being in the center of attention but not as much as Dew. While the little jumpy-boi is demanding the crowd's adoration, Swiss just gets it not the agressive way. He just naturally gets all eyes on him with his swift moves, sexy ass body, grea talent and backing voice. He deffinitely is the star "in disguise". I imagine him off stage to be as sassy as on it, but way more flirty when it comes to giving autographs or even talking with someone. He just flirts naturally, he doesnt even need to try!

Mountain - AQUARIUS: IDK why i get this vibe from his. He's a little(lol) dork. I feel like Mountain's the "dad's joke on regular basis" type of friend, who always knows how to cheer up a situation. He's not a fan of being in the sportlight, he enjoys his place. I think he doesnt like arguments or confronting anyone anyhow, much like Rain, but if he has to go out there and defend his opinion or someone else's he'd be more than glad to do so. The civilized way ofc. As much as he loves drumming and all the loud noise around him, i have a feeling that Mountain would love to be left alone in peace after a show, have a walk or just simply take a shower and read some conspiracy theories or his favorite series.

Cummulus PISCES: Girly girly girl VIBES!!! I have a feeling that the short, sweet little ghoulette would be A) a shopaholic and B) your best friend in crime! She's the one serving looks, willing to gosip all the time and most probably try to turn Rain into her own live verison of the Ken-doll. In fact i think they're both really close since they have share a fair amount of common interests like music, small animals, taking care of others etc. I suppose they'd often go for duets or something. Also I think she's the "mother-friend" who apart from being super crazy and ready to do a lot of stuff (brunch, nights out, girly nights with Cirrus and others), Cummulus would be very protective around the people she loves! Also she has a great connection with the fans - they love her and she adores them!

Cirrus - GEMINI: Cirrus is definitely the one that's more "fiery" from the ghoulettes. Her stage presence is showing really well and she loves to communicate with each and every ghoul. In fact if she had the chance, she would get someone from the audiance on stage and jam with them! WHo knows maybe they'd become friends after the ritual? She is one of the ghouls that have the strongest need to be around others. I imagine her being really close to all of the ghouls (mostly Cummulus ofc) and Cardi, almost as if she's the best friend of the group. Cirrus is definitely the ghoul that spends most of her time on the internet, chatting with fans maybe or simply spending time in tumblr or twitter, sharing her day and creating memes. Also big fan of posting funny photos of the ghouls and Cardi (Dew being super mad about it, tho)!

So uuuh yeah, that really turned out to be longer than i expected, but uuh I hope you like it guys! i did my best and i'll be super glad to hear what you think or even share your opinion on the matter! ILYSM

94 notes · View notes

dnpdudes · 5 years

Text

Phil liveshow #6

General chat and news

(Missed a bit of the beginning sorry it wasnt loading)

•Talking about his school uniform?

•Asked us if we pit our Christmas tree up yet.

•Had a chill Halloween

-he rewatched It chapter 1

-Celebrated Martyns birthday

•Hes in a weird mood today

-Hes snsnsn

-Dont give Phil sugar

-He fed us....

-He walked 16000 steps in his birthday

•Phil had a pogo stick lmao

•His mcr thoughts

-He doesnt know if they're fully coming back

-Hes gonna pee if they do

-"Maybe peeing if it's a whole shabang"

.... Phil shut up

•His fav switch games are Mario Kart and Haloknight

•Norman Cam!!!!Shrimp Cam!!! They had a meeting, Dad shrimp Mom shrimp Baby shrimp and Peach.....

•Talked about his video

-Ghosts are real

-Phil king of comedy fbfbfbfb

-#Gerald

-#Pherald

-HE MADE A GHOST PUN

•Might watch some fireworks on bonfire night

•Norman's fav shows are Riverdale and Drag race

-Riverdale talk God rjejje

•His favorite piece of Dan's merch is the candle

-....spon your husband

-"Its such a Dan's scent musky in a good way" djdjjddj

-Dan won the Twitter layout

•Hi to the baby phannie group chat

•Sad Starbucks drinks

-He didnt like it he didnt finish it 2 stars

•Umbrella academy

•Hair compliment!! Yes dont redye it!

-News story of the week-

-In Louisiana a lady was arrested she worked in a doctor's office and was providing a services Phil would've signed up to, she sold kids doctors notes so they could get out of various things like gym-

-Fake sounding excuses-

•Laura- "My dog might've actually ate my homework"

•Sophie- "Fell off a pogo stick so I had to go to hospital for a xray so had to cancel my date"

•Jordyn- "Had to cancel plans with friends cause my rooster broke put and ran down the road"

•Lozzy- "I had to cancel going to a party cause I had to wait for a toilet to arrive"

~Gaming time~

LIMBO

•Hes black and white to match the aesthetic

•lmao someone said the kid looks a bit like Dan and he agreed

•"Its doing a big vibrate"

•Yeet

•Oh he died already... he drowned

•He gets sea sick oof

•Someone in chat is singing Miley Cyrus

•Death number 2 to a trap

•Oh...number 3

•4

-all in the span of less than 5 minutes

•"Are you having a laugh"

•....5

•Kids name is Limbl Larry now...

•6..he drowned again

•"Chaotic" Phil would leap off the end

•hhh giant spider

•HHH death number 7 to the spider

•And 8 to the spider

•Why is there a trap in the tree lol

•"Tease it"...

•EW EW EW

•the hopping is funny

•Death 9 to being squished

Props chest time

-I got 0.0951

#amazingphil #amazingphil liveshow #phil liveshow #phil lester #11/3/19 #phil liveshow 6

20 notes · View notes

harryisntstraight · 5 years

Note

Bethan, i need your updated version of the larry timeline right now (or as soon as you have the time to do it lmao)

my timeline still stands as follows:

2010-2011: happy as well…..larry……everything is new and exciting and a tad overwhelming but they’re gross and obsessed with eachother and maybe a little bit scared about what exactly this feeling is but it’s mostly all just a joke and a laugh and louis can brush it off as nothing when maybe the touches linger a little bit too long. knows he hasnt felt like this about anyone or at least not any boy before put puts it down to the weird circumstances they’ve found eachother in and the intensity of the whole experience and the fact that harry is just harry and everyone seems to be at least a little bit in love with harry. harry doesnt think too much about anything when it comes to louis bc he’s just too busy lapping up all the attention he gets from him and bathing in it and feeling warm warm warm and it’s not like he can see any reason why that might have to stop and he’s enjoying it too much in the mean time

2012: things start to get more overwhelming and a bit more scary but now there’s not the excitement or the newness to blame it on bc they’ve been living together for ages and it’s harder to pass off a drunken kiss as just that when it was only one pint and louis has been noticing harry staring at his lips since before they even moved in together. and other people notice it too and that starts to become something neither of them really know how to handle. people online talking about them has been happening since day one but it keeps getting louder and its harder to laugh it off when it almost feels like if things were different there might be some truth to it. but there isnt. because louis has a girlfriend and harry has sort of had girlfriends and even though all harry wants to do sometimes is crawl into louis bed he can’t bc eleanor is there and she’s always there these days and its not like he can tell her to go away. maybe one night it all comes to a head when they’re back from tour and are alone together for the first time in too long and maybe they’ve had something to drink and they’re exhausted and stressed and don’t know how to get back to the way they were before. and harry will say something stupid and reach out to touch louis face and then they’re kissing but only for a second before louis is pushing him away and wont look him in the eye. harry shouts at him and its weird bc he never shouts and thats when he knows he has to move out

2013: they dont live together anymore and neither of them know if they’re even really still friends and that might be the worst part because before they were anything else they were best friends. harry has new best friends now and they’re cool and trendy and older and take him to gay bars and talk about things he’s never talked about before and thats when he starts to find himself, or at least think about finding himself. doesnt know if its coincidence that thats when he loses louis. they’re friendly at work, on stage and with the band they can laugh together and crack jokes but neither can remember the last time it was just them by themselves. they’re in eachothers heads a lot, probably too much and sometimes louis will even dream about harry but its always like he’s looking at him through murky water. features a bit distorted and never within touching distance. something stopping him from reaching out. harry will still catch himself staring at louis occasionally but he has other things, other people to keep him occupied for the most part. sometimes he’ll get home at four in the morning to an empty flat and he’ll think about how louis would always want a cup of tea as soon as they got in and how harry was always the one that made it for him. he’ll fall asleep on the sofa with his jeans on to the sound of the kettle clicking as it boils in the kitchen

2014 - 2015: harry grows his hair long and louis thinks it looks ridiculous but wonders how soft it might feel to touch. rolls his eyes at the way harrys always winding it through his fingers. the band are breaking up, and it’s bittersweet. as are most things these days. it was harrys suggestion and first louis was angry and then he was relieved and then he felt guilty and then angry again but now he thinks he’s alright with it. he knows that when it’s over him and harry are over. knows harry won’t text him or call to make plans and knows it would hurt his own pride too much if he tried because harry wouldn’t humour him with a response. so he tries, really tries to make the most of what time they’ve got left together. chats to him backstage, laughs at his jokes in interviews, even goes as far as to say his name on stage once. and at the final show they both know it’s coming, was inevitable really. they go in for the hug and just before it happens harry catches louis shrug at him nonchalantly, like he’s doing harry some kind of massive favour by wrapping his arms around him one last time. harry almost expects to feel something and it catches him off guard when instead it’s just nothing. no aching or longing for a few seconds more and he doesn’t even realise until later it was the first time louis had properly touched him in years. louis does. the smell of harrys aftershave is overwhelming and he can feel the sprinkling of stubble on his jaw brush against his. their knees bang together and louis can feel the hot skin of harrys back through the cotton of his shirt. harry pulls away first and louis wishes everyone else in the arena would fuck off so he could say goodbye properly

2016: harry texts louis ‘Congratulations, hope everything went well. You’re going to be a great dad. - H x’ and louis doesn’t text him back. he opens the message so the notification clears but he doesn’t respond and he doesn’t delete it. just leaves it there. louis doesn’t have harry’s number saved so for once the H sign off actually comes in handy. harry drafted and deleted the text 8 different times before he sent it. contemplated calling but didn’t think he could bear it. he doesn’t get upset when louis doesn’t respond. never really expected him to anyway

2017-2018: harry doesn’t really party that much anymore. has been busy with work and the album and the tour and prefers smaller social gatherings with a couple of friends. but one night he finds himself out in london with old school friends, dipping in and out of clubs in soho. louis parties a lot these days. it makes him feel good and he likes the loud music and new people and how he feels a bit more weightless. the last person he expects to bump into is harry and for a moment he really doesn’t even recognise him. he looks out of place but comfortable with it and without thinking about it louis is calling him over. they chat for a while about nothing important before harry says ‘well it was nice seeing you again’ and louis knows it was a lie. ‘yeah mate, you too’ are their parting words before harry disappears into the sea of people inside a nightclub and louis thinks maybe if this was a few years ago he wouldn’t have let him leave so easily

2019: they don’t think about eachother apart from when they do. and when they do it’s few and far between. maybe harry will open twitter and louis will be trending and he might read some of his tweets. he can close the app and louis will stay tucked inside it, no thoughts of him sneaking out and sticking to harry the way they used to. and for louis, it’s mostly the same. harry is harry and everyones a little bit in love with harry, you weren’t special for that, he tells himself. on the odd occasion he fantasises about the future, about being properly old and seeing harry again. having some kind of heart to heart and apologising for hurting him, for hurting eachother. they were so young back then but he still feels young now, like everything still needs time to sink in before either of them are ready to dig it back up again. for now he’s happy, and harry is happy too. it happened the way it happened and neither of them can change the past. if they were supposed to be friends, they probably still would be. and they would miss eachother more than they do now. there’s always going to be a bit of one in the other, etched into their skin like a white scar that never seems to fade away. and perhaps they like it that way

#me 5 mins ago: no i absolutey cannot write a larry drabble in fact i refuse why would u even ask me that #me now: so here's this #Anonymous

26 notes · View notes

shytiff · 3 years

Text

June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins.

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients.

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning.

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers.

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

0 notes

luisneer · 6 years

Text

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived.

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at [email protected]. Thank you

2016

morgantown has ~48 vape shops

**morgantown has ~480 vape shops

siri has werner herzog-like inflections

considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

think i remember ~5% of things i said today

imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

in winchester, VA

thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

experiencing difficulty trying to smile

enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

i dont like videos

i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

huge power outage at shepherd lol

realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

'camcorder' would be a good band name

i thought arnold palmer had already died

willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

i want to stop being mean

i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

tangled up in myself and others

twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

eating shark

thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

i miss being in therapy

i love carpet

i love carpet !!

just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

mood lately very fragile

this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

fuck, im feeling so much terror

gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

what if old people have secrets

my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

i feel guilty in general

thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

im close friends with satan rn

feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

finger

desk

coffee cup exterior

pajama pants

knee

carpet

chin

phone

shirt

shoe

thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

feeling shorter, broader

the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

i like citing things in MLA

i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

doesnt seem to be getting later

lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

crazy how things get worse

there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

the sunlight is obscene

im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

yr = your ur = you're

my favorite things are pdfs

now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

i hear him but i never see him

i love latte art, i drink many lattes

thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

i prefer EPs

felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

the internet isn't big enough

usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

"uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

i'm sad

my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

was luis neer in odd future

thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

how does anyone do it

in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

everyone in the world is high except me

feel like i want to have poems published immediately

having delusions of grandeur

im sitting on my record player

my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

my nose feels like it's going to bleed

im sad because every bf looks like me

getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

the internet is too freaky...

i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

im watching the angry birds movie

the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

ive never had a new years kiss

2017

im weird

eating medicinal ice cream

im not going to do any drugs in 2017

made a medicinal phone call

i want to drink some blood

i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

years dont kill people

feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

i've felt stoned since i was a baby

downloading google earth

made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

experiencing cognitive dissonance

used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

mediocore

beyonce is cool i think

i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

remembered that i own a pinata

i will be at awp

how could i make twitter a better place

i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

im dumber than me

reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

eating chicken and squash

i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

terrified of being cool

walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

i have 5 twitters

i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

why doesnt anyone blog about me

thesis statements arent real

thinking about my book

i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

sad about my tumblr

my name is all over the internet

im a lizard

someday there'll be no more ppl

a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

idk how to use venmo or what it is

present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

on tumblr i have 4 followers

almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

ground control to commander venus

i like my new tumblr

i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

is everything ok

i look like michael moore

#words

3 notes · View notes

outerspace-castaway · 7 years

Text

just found out that there are people who hate taylor swift so much that they make videos on youtube explaining why they hate her.

so far I've only watched 3 and wow these girls know nothing about taylor but they hate her so much. I did rant in their video comment sections:

video 1:'why I hate taylor swift' channel: daniella

my rant:

you literally say what you know about taylor is what the media portrays yet that set you off enough to make a video about her being a horrible, fake person. really? fucking really/ there are a lot of parody videos of taylor /fan made videos etc, and they have not been taken down. 1 famous youtubers video gets taken down and yall lose your shit. btw taylor's mgmt team is more than just her. taylor didnt have a guitar teacher. when she was about 11 a computer guy came over to fix her families computer before he left he taught her a few begginers chords then years laters trys to profit off of her name. taylor has a right to me pissed by that. taylor isnt the first or last celebrity to get thing copyrighted. kanye and beyonce for exaple have hunders of things copyrighted. also taylor isnt getting things copyrighted just bc, she's doing it so big companys cant used her image without her knowing. and ps she doesnt have any lyrics that say "party like its 1989" im guess youre getting that confused with prince's 1999, where he says 'lets party like its 1999' its called being HUMBLE do you not know the meaning of the word humble, i guess you dont, futhermore even tho taylor is surprised when she wins, she does not cry every time. and even if she did why does someone crying bother you? she literally wrote a message about why she took her music off spotify saying that "she doesnt need anymore money", she said she "has enough money to pay her dancers from her tour alone' she pointed out how smaller artist, like indepent artist dont get paid properly by spotify bc spotify takes most of the money for themselves, she also said music is art and art should be free.....adele too her music off spotify too, i'll be waiting for your video attacking adele... btw what your obsession with sticks being in asses? this video was pretty much just full of lies instead of going by the medias portrayal of a person how about try and look for the truth. who am i kinding you as well as everyone in the comments dont care about the truth do you? just sad and pathetic really.

video 2: 'why I hate taylor swift' channel: july2ish

my rant:

kim exposed taylor: taylor was not told "i made that bitch famous" she should clarified that was the lyric but she didnt lie --- omg you hate her bc she dated harry are you in 4th grade, he asked her out. "im about feminism" but you hate her for dating hs taylor doesnt like papa following her -- you hate her bc of her wealth --- dont people pay for spotify too???? -- she didnt sue fans they were sent ciest & disist letter until their copyright issues were straighted out --- the guy wasnt a guitar teacher he was a computer guy who came to the familys home and taught her a few chords before he left, and he wasnt sued -- she copyrighted a stylized version of the year 1989 that was made for her tour not the year or number 1989 here is who taylor swift sued: THAT GUY WHO SEXUAL ASSUALTED HER BY PUTTING HIS HAND UP HER SIRT AND ON HER ASS.

video 3: '6 reasons i hate taylor swift' channel: queen maryah watkins productions (comments were disabled so I left this on her channel)

1. her pr team didnt clarify which lyric she was offended by, she thought kanye was going to use "i made her famous" that is what taylor said in the video kim posted. kanye didnt tell her "i made that bitch famous" "perfessional victim" thats some bullshit. she writes aboutr her feeling, a majority of her songs are NOT about breakups but love songs. ps she isnt the only artist to write about break ups 2. taylor's dad invest in big machine records after she signed to the label. shes very talnted, she does work hard and she walked away from a record label who wanted to sign her because they would alway taylor to write her own music so she walk away then was discovered and signed by scott borschetta then her dad invested in big machine records

3. she doesnt have to dance, really why the hell does that matter? no her voice isnt like whitney or beyonce, its softer, she cant do big notes like they do that doesnt mean she can sing. shes a great guitar player why doent you actually watch her play and she plays multiple intruments well as fpr her lyrics she writers masterpieces, listen to something other than shake it off or wanegbt.

and are you really saying you hate her because of her look and her fashion choices do you not hear how petty that is 4. calling out nicki is the ONLY time shes ever did anything like that. and are you seriously mad bc she gets excited for friends accomplishments? ed sheeran is her best friend. she didnt say she was looking forward to controversy, she said she was looking forward to telling people she knew about the song, not about wanting controversy from it. 5. "has not integrity for music.." she wants people to understand that music is art and should be treated as such, as for writing TIWYCF under a fake name, she and calvin agreed to do that together 'catfished, disillusioned, perplexed', are you fucking with me? swifties were excited when we found out taylor wrote it. you think she lies on her album credits bc of one fucking song? my god could you get anymore stupid? 6. im tired of this "greedy" bullshit. its a lie she didnt say she wants more money for youtube y\this is some bull you pulled out of you ass. she literally said in her apple music letter that she did not need anymore money. go fucking read the damn thing its on her tumblr page. i cannot tell you how pathetic and stupid you sound in this video, this video is filled with lies get a fucking life

video 4: 'rant why i hate taylor swift explicit' channel: lacye leuko

her pr team didnt clarify which lyric she was offended by, she thought kanye was going to use "i made her famous" that is what taylor said in the video kim posted. kanye didnt tell her "i made that bitch famous" therefore she did not have full compltee knowledge. kanye deserves shade but her point was to uplift young girls, something she been doing for years, she used kanye lie to her benefit

kanye is an ass who does & says bad things to many people dont act like he doesnt deserve to be shaded.

her rep leak the info, he should have informed first but why does that bother you?

taylor never confirmed bad blood is about katy, katy did that herself. taylor doesnt have a prolem with tina and amy she was just pissed about the joke.

she's not a snake the video proves kanye didnt say 'i made that bitch famous' the lyric she was told ' i made her famous'

nothing was wrong with selena defending her friend.

i cant believe how you and other taylor haters really dont want to see the truth about taylor.

a few etsy fans were sent Cease and desist orders because of copyright issues, there are still thousands a taylor swift fan artwork on etsy. if those copyright issues were fixed those fans art were probly put back on etsy.

the only female she is fueding with is katy and by that i mean, katy keeps findong ways to talk about her but she keeps her mouth shut about katy.

taylor swift: does charity work. ispires many young girls, is a great role model. you know nothing about how she influences her fans for the better. how she gives speeches and messages of positivity to her fans. you know nothing about the reall taylor swift, just tabloids and bullshit

// 'So, About Taylor Swift Getting Put On Blast... Watch white Feminism Work'

channel Sensei Aishitemasu // its a 33 minute video. this person wasted 33 mintues of their time to talk aout why they hate taylor (im definitely NOT going to watch that)

i still said something anyway: im not watching this video bc im sure its bullshit just like the others, but why did you waste 33 minutes of your time to bitch about a pop singer and her "white feminism" you hate taylor swift GET THE FUCK OVER IT AND GROW THE FUCK UP. and black people idk how this little white girl hurt you so damn much, I can say that be im black too and get bullied on twitter by other black ppl who are offended I like this white singer. she doesn't do the things you like, shhes not an activist, she writes breakup song songs, she cant sing like whitney, who tf cares? IGNORE HER!. change the channel, turn off the radio when shes on, don't pick up magazines with her face on them, stay off her twitter and instagram. just fucking leave her alone, its not that hard to do.

i just cant wrap my head around these people having so much hate for taylor. shes a good fuking person. no shes not perfect, yes she makes mistakes but for the ove of god there are worst people than her in the entertainment industry but shes treated like the devil

how does taylor have these people so easily pressed and bothered?

#taylor swift #swifties #why are people so butthurt over taylor swift?#leave taylor swift alone #youtube #swiftie #taylor swift defense squad

3 notes · View notes

angel78 · 7 years

Text

another failed attempt at seeing a new therapist

its literally pointless to try anymore. its honestly not even about “getting better” anymore its about the fact that i just want to be figured the fuck out already. i want to get it all out i want to understand i want to know what happened to me and what the hell is wrong with me... but i guess i’ve always done that myself anywhere.

i have learned everything i have come to understand about myself in writing and art, mainly my own because that is where i am sorting myself out, but of course with others’ work as well.

i was never allowed to see a therapist growing up, my parents didnt believe in mental illness and thought i was just crazy or dramatic or whatever else ive said it here before plenty of times. once i left renfrew i tried one or two but one i couldnt afford and the other made me uncomfortable. i had one therapist in wvu that didn’t help or understand at all and just made me feel like i was psycho and straight up would ask me if i paid before i sat down ???? when i finally came back to jersey, i tried to see another therapist in february and she turned me down entirely and said she could not help me or see me because i needed higher care and she couldnt be responsible for that. then finally i began seeing a therapist at my school who saw me for a few months who i thought i might finally be able to get something out of, maybe, but she told me she had to stop seeing me because i was too sick too and needed a higher care and i told her i refused to go to anything inpatient so she straight up said she cant help me anymore but we could have an appointment to find a good program for me and i never went because fuck you for that. right when things started peaking again she just didn’t want to help me anymore. i understand the “ethics” behind seeing someone who you deem “too unwell” to only be attending an hour long therapy session once a week but for gods sake she knew all of the reasons i couldnt do that and some of them were kind of bullshit in her opinion like me refusing to put school on hold again but some of them were fucking valid like money and not having a car at the time to even do an outpatient if i tried and my parents and just everything.

then finally a few weeks ago i started seeing a new therapist, literally like the day after finding out my boyfriend has fucking cancer, and i saw her three times, spent the first two times having an insurance/money battle in the beginning, and the second time waited for her for 7 minutes after my appt was supposed to start and she still cut me off right after the allotted time was up technically not giving me the appropriate 45 full minutes ???? but not only that she called me by the wrong name ???? only says elementary shit like “so how are depression and anxiety” and just nods and doesnt offer any feedback when i talk. she didnt try at all to get to know my circumstances like i always had to fish for things to talk about because she couldnt even start asking me questions of her own since the first session which like how is that supposed to help me i came here because I NEED HELP and then even though the insurance sent me a document with this therapists specializations and eating disorders WERE LISTED AS ONE OF THEM she says that she doesnt know much about eating disorders and isnt trained in them so she doesnt know how to really help and she then went on to tell me she thinks i just need a higher care and that we could have our last session (the following week from last thursday which would have been tomorrow) so we can find a program together that i should start ???? yeah nice way to say see you never and take another $50 from me when you cant even rememebr my FUCKING NAME WHEN ITS SITTING ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU LITERALLY LISTED EATING DISORDERS IN YOUR SPECIALIZATIONS WHEN YOU APPARENTLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM ACCORDING TO YOU sorry im livid but anyway now im back to no therapist and that makes a consecutive three suggesting i needed a higher care but i guess at least this one was just a complete idiot and didnt say she refused to help me anymore

so i just wanted to post a rant update about that and i guess from here i will just continue

i started class and my last week of training for my new serving job yesterday, i had class at 8:00 after not sleeping all night and have three more classes and then training again, i look cute today but no one lked my selfies on twitter so that was very nice also, im speeding frivolously, and ,,,,

my mom and i got into two big dumb fights over the last week over something so stupid but as always she had to go on and curse me off and tell me she doesnt want me in “her house” which is really funny because how can you call it your house when you 1) dont even have a job therefore do not pay bills 2) my dad, as much as he hurts me, just had to get a second job again to support my family when my mom doesnt even have one and doesnt even love my dad anymore but she’ll reap the benefits of having a man willing to do that for her 3) she literally left us like two months ago to live with her friend then decides to come back because “it was hard driving back and forth and i couldnt see the kids everyday” which honestly, to me, translates to it was too hard coming here every day just to bake cakes 4) she told me whenever she does get money (somehow???) she has full intentions of moving out and getting her own place so even if she did have money i guess making this number 5) she would be PUTTING IT TO GETTING HER OWN PLACE AND NOT THE HOUSE ANYWAY SO I REST MY CASE DOESNT LOOK LKE YOUR HOUSE TO ME BITCH and i left sunday night and went to be with vincent and i get to sleep with him all week and then yesterday my mom tried to send me a meme so i would respond and laugh and we could pretend nothing happened but im tired of doing that im tired of acting like just because im their child i dont deserve an apology like fuck if i dont even deserve help on my medical bills ???? i think i at the very least deserve an apology every now and again ???? especially since they are a signficant part of the reason I AM THIS WAY and then yesterday my dad texted me asking where ive been and i told him what happened and actually tried to have a mature conversation and tell him how i felt like an adult and why i dont think my mom acted fairly and he literally left me on read so thats how my family life is going

otherwise eating is impossible unless its in capsule form and and im overly paranoid and i cant drive without imagining a parallel universe every car that comes into my vicinity somehow crashes into me and not even in the suicidal way literally in the twitching at the sight of an approaching vehicle and shaking my head and closing my eyes while driving because all i can see are these traumatizing visions of things that have never happened to me and im really depressed and i have no friends

and i really sound like a whiney bitch right now but i havent posted much about whats going on in my life lately and clearly !!!! i dont have a therapist to tell !!!!

i keep wanting to write and have fragments of words but it doesnt feel right yet and i know that

i have no money and my phone and car bills are due next week and i wont be making any money until next week MAYBE

literally the only good thing right now is that vincent is doing pretty well, its really hard to see him this way a lot of the time but its getting easier because im getting used to seeing him bald or how little he eats or helping him when he’s sick, as far as we know the chemo seems to be doing what its supposed to do, he is doing well, i hope it stays that way because he’s literally everything to me and the only thing that makes me want to be on this earth

#personal

3 notes · View notes

whatyousaiddotcom-blog · 7 years

Text

SOME CORRESPONDENCE OF SC

Correspondence between SC and JM (a member of the accountability panel), November 2014

SC 11/29/14 to JM

Dear JM,

it was nice to see you other other day at the demo....im not exactly sure how to start this email but our exchange keeps repeating on me...so i thought i would write to you... i was a bit irrked that you seemed surprised that I said I was feeling quite shit and when you asked me whats up etc

I'm starting to think you have no idea what the impact the bloomsbury ten stuff has had on me... i wanted to write to you so you had some type of idea...

as Im sure your aware everything sparked up again recently ( it actually sparked up (intensely) again a few weeks before K’s piece of writing but i wont go into that here ). and there is now a name and shame blog doxing me and the others and accusing us of various crimes.

I know you have not partaken in this and even tried to calm thing down on fb at one point.... but it doesnt help and things are really bad.

there are a BUNCH of people who read our intervention letter who have grossly and purposely falsified what we originally wrote - you know many of these people - ( ie NBa, RA-D, P, STA, etc many others ) and im sure you have seen this stuff circulating recently and over the last few years.

they accuse us of at least these things:

- victim blaming

-denying it happened

-calling her a liar

- asking for more evidence

- asking about her sexual history

-bullying and harassing her

-saying it was her fault.

yet anyone who read / reads the original letter and who has basic comprehension skills can clearly see that none of these things happened. these are projections onto what we wrote and not our words at all. obviously we cannot even defend ourselves publicly to refute these malicious claims without picking over detail and i think no one thinks it would be appropriate or right to do this as both the first email and our response have details of …. This has left space for others to twist and turn and lie about what we originally wrote.

Im not saying you should agree with what we wrote or our intervention but seriously these lies about what happened are more than malicious and completely untrue. equally as for the claims that we were were hiding behind anonymity - we went to BOTH follow up meetings after we wrote the letter and everyone knew who we were - we also agreed to go to a third meeting but that never happened .... the only reason people have my name now is because i went to a meeting and made myself known like everyone else. i hardly think this is hiding ...

---

i want you to understand the effect this has had on me not just in the last month or so but over the last few years as well.

firstly i had so much self doubt to the point that i felt that i WAS a victim blaming rape apologist and that what we had written was of that effect. I had to read and re read what we wrote over a couple of hundred times ( and that is not an exaggeration ) - i have read it over and over to try and understand peoples accusations...finally in desperation I showed it privately to (redacted) who were not part of writing the original statement - from (redacted) to (redacted) - i showed it to very smart and honest people- EVERYBODY was fucking shocked at the way what we wrote had been interpreted. It is only with the most decontextualised and ungenerous reading of about one line that you could move to a victim blaming reading...... this response / projection is complete gas lighting and really hurtful and dangerous. ( esp for me as i have pretty serious mental health issues)

over the last weeks, basically after K wrote her piece, i repeatedly felt suicidal and got very very ill... al had to take time off to stay with me and look after me. I couldnt walk i couldnt eat and i couldnt sleep. i was completely haunted by the trial by social media ( i actually still am). and the very malicious smears against me and the others. I basically had a complete breakdown and had to be put in touch with a crisis mental health team and was very close to hospitalization.... and although i am on the mend now i am very far from being well and am dosed up to the eyeballs on meds and still have very low days. this has had an extreme impact on me.

Im not sure if you know this but i lost my father at the beginning on this year.... its really been the year from hell. I was just starting to recover from his death and then this stuff comes up and was the final straw and knocked me sideways...

many people of twiiter who tweet about this like its a fucking sport know not only that i lost my dad this year but that i have stress triggered mental health problems... this doesnt seem to stop them from massively false and malicious tweets. I have had PERSONAL abuse from R and there are a lot of men who have taken a delight in taking a stand against me ( victim blaming rape appologist ) and think its fine to stick my name on a blog and spread lies about me ( obviously i deserve it).....

to get proof of who was saying what I literally had to witness my own online abuse in real time as a live twitter feed - i had to screen grab the lot before people could deny or delete what they were saying or block me - please try to imagine what its like to photograph your own abuse as spectacle on twitter. ....

anyway i have proof of a lot of what and who has been saying what now...

----

to be honest im not even telling you the half of what has gone on , on the impact this has had on me and others and of how upset i am by the sheer dishonesty, cruelty and sadistic abuse that has happened. ontop of that no one says anything and people like RA-D, M and NBa and P go on as if nothing has happened.

---

i know you havent joined in in any of this and you didnt ask for it to happen. I have to be honest with you though - neither you , JB, SB, or MC [the accountability panel] have ever said anything and this really hurts. you were all part of the original group who wrote the letter and tried to sort things out.... no one has said anything and it has spiralled to the point that it has.... you all have been able to walk away.... it was very hard to have you bounce up to me at the demo and be surprised that i was not ok or ask why i was not ok.....

i am basically known on twitter as a rape appologist for things i haven’t done and haven’t said. have another look at what was written - we never disputed what [REDACTED] said once - we criticised the process as we said we didn’t think things were being dealt with in a serious or appropriate way - we NEVER disputed what she said or said it was her fault and we always said that it needed to be dealt with... its written in the statement which im sure you still have..

i dont really know why im writing this... i know you disagree with what we wrote - i disagree with what was originally written - but never did i think you were coming from a bad place - i know you were trying to do the right thing.... i feel like people assumed the very very worst of me and others and that it is grossly ungenerous and now is dishonest and cruel.

i dont know what to say really - im still not ok about any of this and now every time i go on social media or to a demo I must wonder if i must see people like RA-D. NBa etc acting like nothing bad has happened, acting like they are not abusive and dishonest and that there will be no repercussion for how they have treated me and others.

— ( screen grabs sent including death threat screen grab)

i have plenty more screen grabs that just a very very small selection..

(redacted)

if you think about it " pls remind me who im missing out"

he purposely left my name out ( he knew i was part of b10 ) then asked people to remind him of my name in the separate next tweet ... please run that around in your head and think about what that means and why he did that... he takes a massive pleasure in being purposely abusive to me personally... its a fucking sport to him..... and no body said anything.

———

sorry to keep emailing - only to say i probably have left my flat less than 15 times in the past two months / two and half months since this has kicked off.... im basically non functional and i spent about a month uncontrollably weeping for most of the time i was awake... quite literally - u can ask anyone from a to DG or MH to the crisis team or my dr - who took it in turns looking after me during the worst parts of it.

that i have to put up with abusive men like RA-D or women like NBa and P ( because i deserve it for being a rape apologist ) is beyond a joke.

you know very little about my life and nor does anyone else - i have NOT had an easy life , the statistical chances of me being relatively sane , functional and with a good post grad education are much less than 1 percent.

and now i have to put up with a bunch of very well educated privileged student activists who I know to have high comprehension and reading skills fucking lying about what i/others have written and done is a fucking joke.

and that they purport to do this in the name of countering gendered structural violence is a fucking disgrace.

JM 11/29/14 to SC

Hey S,

I had no idea it had gotten this bad and that it was ongoing.

DG mentioned some of this to me a few weeks ago but but then I had only seen a small amount of the backlash on M's facebook wall, which is what I responded to. It seemed like it had flared up around K's post but was beginning to die down. I don't use twitter that much, partly because of the irritating dogmatism and pernicious attitudes it seems to produce (case in point), so I hadn't seen any of the stuff on there. I either don't follow, don't know, or have stopped following the people you mentioned and have generally distanced myself from a lot of the left-crowd in the past year for a number of reasons - but partly because I find the language and mentality which seems to have developed so off-putting that I no longer feel a part of the same discourse - the result is that I'm perhaps more out of the loop than you were aware.

Whatever type of anarchism it is that justifies this kind of behaviour I don't want any part of, and can't think of anything more willfully destructive than posting people's names on the internet or threatening people with violence. I can understand why [REDACTED] is angry about what happened but I can't for the life of me understand how this will help anything beyond a misplaced desire for arbitrary retribution.

You know my feelings about what was written, but as far as I'm concerned it is in the past. I'm sure that if we could go back in time everybody would have gone about things differently on all sides. What matters to me is where people's heart is - I have no doubt whatsoever that people like yourself and MH are good people with the best intentions. I wouldn't maintain the fondness I hold for both of you if I didn't. JBR and some of the others I'm less sure about - there are some good parts to him, but I don't trust him enough to be as close as I once was; being polemic or 'critical' often seems more important to him than generosity of spirit, and he can consequently be quite nasty to people with very little reason. He is far better at sowing division than anything else. I think RB is a good man but sometimes lets his friendship with JB cloud his judgement, as it did mine at points in the past. I certainly don't harbour ill will towards him, even if I felt initially hurt by him, and I'm sad we're not as close to each other because of all this stuff - I feel like I lost an important friend. I haven't come across RL in the past few years but I'd like to hope we'd be able to clear the air one day if we did cross paths. I've never had any reason to doubt she's a lovely person who got caught up in an extremely difficult situation and any hostility she expressed was an understandable product of that.

As for now, I don't think anybody has any answers to this stuff and if we're going to come up with anything of meaning or value it will require thinking through the kind of criticisms K made in her post, many of which are inarguable. At the same time we can't just ignore issues when they arise for the sake of convenience. Unfortunately the political climate seems completely anathema to learning anything productive from what has happened and looks to bully people (how much easier) on social media instead - hence my increasing sense of frustration with the 'scene' and my desire to become more distant from it.

I haven't been staying silent because I'm okay with what's happening - I simply haven't encountered it except on M’s facebook wall, where I intervened accordingly. If this starts to happen again send me a message and I will offer whatever weight I have as someone who criticised the original statement. I'm wary of putting something up out of the blue lest it simply stir the whole thing up again, but if others are doing that anyway let me know.

I hope you're doing okay. if you want to have a drink and chat about any of this or life generally just drop me a line.

J x

Correspondence between SC and JM (a member of the accountability panel), April 2015

to JM

and are any other accountability group members coming to the meeting?

JM 4/26/15 to sc

Yep that's fine for me - as to the others I don't know, I prodded them the other week but no one replied. I think I'm right in saying that no one was opposed to talking on principle but that there were reservations about it being a larger meeting, what the objective was, how it might be framed etc. If we're going with the 6th then I'll send a message and see what they say.

SC 4/26/15 to JM

no one is going to frame anything .i have always been open with you about my thoughts on this...i think its better for all of us that other people, who are wise and have good politics esp gender politics... are there to advise us all.... i would like people to stop abusing me for stuff i havent done, written , said thought, think etc.. i dont think its a big ask for the group to come considering they were at the heart of the process. i know none of them have been abusive towards me... however they were intitated a process that has become way out of control...i think people need to face up to what has and is happening in an honest way. as i have said many times i have evidence of people smearing me and abuseing me online. there is a very male core to alot of this abuse. i need to make this stop. my endurance for this has run out and its making me exreamly ill. please communicate to the the seriousness of this situation.

and apart from myself i ( unlike all the liars say) worry a great deal about [REDACTED]..I am totally unable to approach her to try and get aid with resolution for her, which she clearly needs.

basically JM i am not despite what many people write about me online , some type of evil bastard and neither is anyone else. the way we have been and are being treated is unjustifiable and it needs to stop, be confronted and people need to take responsibilty for their actions. i am sick of being hounded online and being villified to a large invisible audience. i am sick of people justifying their abuse cos they think i deserve it. - that actually is victim blaming and it needs to stop.

SC 4/26/15 to JM

i have a folder with 6 months worth of abuse - which is about 300 tweets, thats is just a tiny tiny percentage of what has been going on. within this folder i have a sub folder of people joking about putting me in a black bin liner, stabbing me, glassing me and saying that i should be killed. when are people going to wake up?? i am a real person, this has a real imapct on me. i suffer real mental health issues, which are classed as a severe disability. do u understand that if i have a sever breakdown i have zero garentee of " coming out" of a psycotic state? have you any idea what it is like to live with that thought?

how can i get this into peoples heads here??? i have STRESS TRIGGERED PSYCOSIS. - i cant really understand how this cannot at least move people to take some kind of action? or is it that they think that cos i am a " victim blamer" ( which i am not ) that i should just suffer the abuse that i am receiving?

do they need doctors notes? i have access to 18 years worth. i am not making my health problems up....

SC 4/26/15 to JM

do u realise that this is not going to go away? i cant live like this.

they cant justify their abuse. because thats what it is.

SC 4/26/15 to JM

i hope that all of you in the accountability group will stop not see this as an attack on you all and start to face up to what is actually going on here. i incuded people like np, tz and dg on the list becuase i am hopeing that you might talk with them and listen to them about this, you all clearly have zero respect for me and dont believe me.. but myabe you will listen to them? some other perspectives?

JM 4/27/15 to SC

I don't think I've given you any reason to feel I have zero respect for you, Sophie, or the others. I'm coming to the meeting - I'm just relating as best I can what other people feel. I understand their caution, and I can't force them to do anything. I will say that I worry about seeing me or the others as the solution to this - ultimately it isn't coming from us, and none of us share personal relationships or even a political outlook any more with the people involved. To me this is exactly the problem with abandoning the notion of being part of a community with obligations to each other, and what happens if there's no process in place that can bring closure to a problem - which takes us back to the original disagreements I suppose. This was an issue whether anyone wanted to address it or not.

SC 4/27/15 to JM

No one expects any forcing. Some of those in the accountability group are pretty close to some extremely abuseive people. I find it abhorrent. Maybe JB MC Sb etc might well talk to them off social media? I don't know really. It seems odd that a group of people who used to be my friends and who profess to want to deal with gendered violence just shrug their shoulders and say this is a consequence of what u wrote. Or something similar. I have pointed out a number of times how what we wrote has been undeniably and maliciously distorted - and then this distortion used as a pretext for abuse. I m not the only person who think this, I have shown the text to NP, MV, TZ, DG and other people I trust and asked them to read it for the things that we all have been accused of, (redacted) and said that I would apologies if it had blamed her, I lost complete trust in my own capacity to have faith in my own motivations and actions. That is actually gas lighting. Ikon wits not coming from u ( well I actually have at least one horrible grab from SB) but a lot of it is coming fro. People who were on that list or went to the meetings. Plenty people are making excuses for all this is more than shocking... It's like some bastard of Lord of the flies and the Salam witch trails on acid. I have men beating up on me online for things they know I haven't said. And even if I had said them it would still be unjustifiable.

SC 4/27/15 to JM

JM I'm sorry I'm a 35 year old working class woman with severe mental health problems. I was (redacted) and had (redacted). Before I went to university, at 25 my life was spent in (redacted) institutions and women's (redacted). Against statistical odds of probably less than one percent I have a post grad and had hoped to do a PhD. My life was for the first time on 30 years starting to settle. This is ruining me. It's making me ill. I have these disgusting middle class pricks hounding me online for sport and cred. I'm not MH and I'm not JBR and this b10 stuff does not play out in an equal way for us all. For me it is extreeamly traumatic due to who I am and the life that I have lived. As I told you it's making me ill, I am extreeamly lucky I haven't ended up in hospital. Please take time to get educate yourself about schizo effective effective disorder and its relationship to stress.

I hope that the other accountability group people will come to the meeting and stop being complicit and cowardly.

SC 4/27/15 to JM

I am hoping for some type of collective process or intervention. If this doesn't happen I am forced to take matters into my own hands alone to stop people abuseing me.

JM 4/27/15 to SC

I think it's best I just relate the things you're saying to me directly to the others because, as I've said, I'm coming to the meeting.

Are you alright with that, and if so, is there anything from this thread you'd want me not to pass on?

JM 4/27/15 to SC

to be clear I mean just c/ping the above so they can hear it themselves and decide accordingly. I don't think I can be any more use as a go-between now

SC 4/27/15 to JM

If you think it will help I suppose you should. Please do not copy sections but the whole exchange. I feel angry that I am I a position where I must disclose the shit life I have lived. And which still makes me feel a great deal of shame. At least maybe I won't have to go over it in A meeting publicly.

If I find that anyone had forwarded my email exchange beyond people who were in the accountability group I will be more than angry. Equally if it is subject to gossip or distortion on or off social media and I shall be more than upsset.

Thanks for trying to help.

Correspondence between SC and ZB (who had acted as a representative of [REDACTED] during the accountability meetings), October 2014

HI ZB,

I am writing to you as I have been told by people that we have in common and that i trust that you are solid feminist with good politics. I will try to keep this brief. i am not sure how much you are aware of what has been going on recently and for years. I do not have the energy to go over all of it.

The situation cannot go on as it is. I am getting very ill, I have sever stress triggered schizoaffective disorder. I have lost my father this year too. I have comrades and my partner caring for me, so don't worry about that.

I am worried about [REDACTED]. ( not [person with same initials] the other one )

here are some of her tweets, i have a million more, this is a random selection. I have seen worse.

— ( screen grabs of [REDACTED] and other actors)

there are a lot of lies being peddled here. Of course i would be extremely angry too i if i thought anyone had denied my suffering and my experience, victim blamed and asked me to evidence it. ( actually the position that i am in now )

there are a network of actors here, between me and you and her, who have deliberately falsified what we originally wrote and did and have done since. I think they do this to make a political point and to normalize a certain political practice. They can all read well. Im sure a;lot of them have read the original text that was written ( i have attached it here along with my own writing ).

The ONLY reason myself and others have not defended ourselves in a public way is because we am worried about [REDACTED] safety and sanity . I cannot be a punch bag for these people. they are not her friends/ comrades either and not helping her at all. I feel she needs support but i cannot approach her.

There are a host of people getting a lot of pleasure out of all of this. I have screen grabs of the lot. in amongst them hide some very abusive men. I have hard evidence of men abusing me on twitter and using [REDACTED]’s trauma as an excuse to do so. there are a bunch of women too who have played a very big part in escalating this to the situation as it currently manifests. I have had to witness all abuse play out as a spectacle on twitter. I have ( had to ) screen grabbed the lot.

I am not asking help with anything other than a good support network for her. I feel that she is surrounded by some very dubious people, with bad politics and ethics. People who call themselves feminists and communists, who are so far away from that its unreal.

I am sorry to pull you into this but i am worried that lives are at risk. i know you have just had a baby ( congratulations) and i imagine you are time short and tired. If you can think of any thing that might help please let me know.

Solidarity,

ZB 10/13/14 To SC

Hi S. I will use the form on the tumblr to ask for it to be taken down. I don't know who is running it, I was only aware of it after A told me about it yesterday. I have no reason to think that whoever is behind it will listen to me but I will message them.

I have not seen [REDACTED] for almost a year, nor am I able to spend much time on anything political at present as I'm heavily pregnant. Beyond messaging the blog post there isn't anything else I can do at present.

SC 10/13/14 to ZB

Ok thanks for writting back. I worry for [REDACTED] I really do . Her identity seems very invested in all of this persecution and lies. I don't know how aware she really is in all of this or how much she has been gas lit by others. I am sure you can read and I sure you can see that we never blamed her nor ignored or denied that it happened or her trauma. We disagreed and intervened in all of it that is for sure - we disagreed with how the process was manifesting. but none of us have ever bullied her denied that it happened or asked her for more proof or any of those vicious claims that are currently circulating .

Anyway thanks for your solidarity and for writing to the blog. I wish you luck with your pregnancy. X

Sent with one hand

4. Correspondence with an email list including JM from accountability panel, March 2015. This correspondence took place around DG’s banning from Goldsmiths Occupation. DG was not part of B10.

SC to List

sorry but this is not going away.. - an argument about safer spaces - will NOT sort this out!

this is too much bs, i need some support i want to confront this its a pack of fucking lies i am sick to my teeth of this.. i want to call it...it absolutely needs to stop and be put right.

J M - YOU WERE IN THE ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP WHICH HAS BEEN COMPLETELY QUIET.!!!.... you need to meet with me and others and this needs to stop! im AM SICK of people spreading lies about me and others and abusing ME AND MY COMRADES on the web for things that were not said and done! I do not give 2 fucks about what any1 thinks the b10's intentions were.... i know what we wrote and what was said in the meetings after.. i also have a ton of screen grabs about all the malicious lies been spread about us...

i have cc'd Ad. into this who has been purged from SF. i hope he will help us sort this out. MB and U and J all vouch for him.

i CANNOT HANDLE THIS ANYMORE. IT NEEEDS TO BE PUT TO REST!

MB 3/28/15 to SC, kD, AL, B, AS, D, CB, DG, JM, JBR, AP, Ad.

Fucking right!

Apparently people have walked out of the occupation due to this, it wasn't democratically agreed upon at all. the occupation statement and the people behind it are fucking idiots.

JM [accountability panel] 3/28/15 to SC, kD, AL, B, AS, D, CB, DG, JM, JBR, AP, Ad.

Oh for fucks sake.

Alright, I've replied with this for now.

"I don't know where you have got your information from but as someone who was involved in trying to address the situation you're referring to I want to make it absolutely clear that DG had nothing to do with the B10 statement, and was nothing but helpful to me and others throughout the process. I can't see how suggestions to the contrary can be justified. Banning him or anyone else from giving talks runs counter to everything that was trying to be achieved at that time. For people with no knowledge of what you're referring to it also reads like an extremely serious implication about DG. Please don't put out statements like this without contacting people who actually know about the circumstances, and respect the spirit of their intentions. Get in touch with me or anyone else who was involved if you want to talk about this more, but I strongly suggest you remove this statement and cease implying falsehoods about DG, whether you want him to speak at Goldsmiths or not."

SC - I can only respond to what I see, and have done so when directed to obvious bullshit like this.

AP 3/28/15 to SC, kD, AL, B, AS, D, CB, DG, JM, JBR, AP, Ad.

Authoring the thing 'Bloomsbury 10' was so ridiculously stupid. It just sounds so ominous for anyone who hasn't a clue what this is about. I think those involved who havent come forward and defended themselves in writing should probably reconsider as this obviously isnt going away.

SC 3/28/15 to kD, AL, B, AS, D, CB, DG, JM, JBR, AP, Ad. AK

All, JM,

I really do appreciate that you have made a clarification about DG.. however this for me does not cut it at all as it does NOT address the false claim against b10.

to go over this again, the claims are based on the letter that we wrote to the email list, which i attach again, with my underlined parts.

the claims that are made against us that i have screen grabs of, are :

- we victimed blamed and are rape appologists

- that we harrassed [REDACTED] and made her life hell in the ensuing years

- that we hid under a cloak of anonimity - ( WE WENT TO 2 FOLLOW UP MEETINGS in the following week - making it obvious who we were and what we wrote)

- that was said she was lying / making it up / said it was her fault

PLEASE READ WHAT WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN ON THE STATEMENT!!!!!! IT IS ATTACHED!!!!!

to make this really clear pls read what i wrote in another p[rivate email to a member of sf earlier this month in regards to this letter:

----

I am prepared to take responsibility and argue over the contents of a letter i help write, discuss what it means, and the impact of it and its context... i am not prepared to accept falsifications of what was written, nor projections onto it by others of any inherent meaning or imagined bad motivation or intention.......

for example, i think a reading that is used to justify a lot of the victim blaming label attached to me ( and others ) in relation to the letter ( which after all started all this off more or less) logically works like this:

the first move is to take a single paragraph out of the context of the whole document ( i mean the paragraph that mentions the accountability panels omission of the discussion of knife play - i think this section is what cause most but not all of the accusations of rape apologia and victim blaming etc)

the second move is then to do two things with the de-contextualized paragraph:

1) make it stand it and negate every other written word on the b10 letter

2) and importantly then make the following argument:

something like ".. any mention of the context of the knife is TANTAMOUNT TO VICTIM BLAMING...." ... the claim is, the context of the knife is both irrelevant and at the same time any mention of it would only (be to) discredit her account...

er hello???? why do THEY think it discredits her account... (this is not what we ever said..we did however write that we fully acknowledge her account, this it needed serious responses which had already started, wanted dialogue and a different way of dealing with / you can read those sections i have highlighted them).. ..... this last move.. ( the context is discrediting) is their ( very troubling) projection onto what was intended, meant written, etc etc

im sure you see my point.

please think about the logic of that move....it is very odd and dubious....

-----

the accountability panel were criticised. NOT [REDACTED]!

when is this going to be put to rest..... THE ACCOUNTABILITY PANEL have said NOTHING.. for 3 years!!!!!! THIS IS TOTALLY UNFAIR.

you and others may disagree with me / b10 questioning and disrupting the process. BUT NOT BY FALSIFYING WHAT WAS WRITTEN>

I have had to put up with 3 YEARS of gaslighting me, having "anarchist" men abusing me personally, of being doxed online. I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE. THIS HAS TO STOP> THIS IS NOT A SAVE DG’s REP CAMPAIGN>

i want a meeting with you JM JB MCe and SB and TJ [all the members of the original accountability panel] and you were ALL in the process and have said NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THE FUCKING LIES AND ABUSE BEING LEVELED AT ME AND OTHERS.

i am sick of this its BULLSHIT.

i spent 4 years of my fucking life in a (redacted)l. i have a locked and hidden social media account FOR A REASON. I WANT THIS SORTED OUT AND THE TUMBLR DOWN.

0 notes

politicalfilth-blog · 5 years

Text

Trump Says The Fed Is More Dangerous Than China As Debt Hits 22 Trillion

youtube

In this video, Luke is joined by G Edward Griffin and Josh Sigurdson to discuss the evergrowing deficit that has now hit an astonishing 22 trillion dollars. Trump Says The Fed Is More Dangerous Than China As Debt Hits 22 Trillion.

Visit our MAIN SITE for more breaking news https://wearechange.org/

https://teespring.com/stores/wearechange

SubscribeStar: https://www.subscribestar.com/wearech…

FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/LukeWeAreChange

FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/WeAreChangee

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/Lukewearechange

INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/lukewearechange

STEEMIT: https://steemit.com/@lukewearechange

MINDS: https://www.minds.com/wearechange

OH YEAH since we are not corporate or government owned help us out https://wearechange.org/donate

We take Crypto Coins

Bitcoin – 143d3ec4GFe75zNEiUA2sbU9b6YP9L6c48

Dash – XiZebHViTKxjngJ8U8Gekbz34XDcMjKe29

ETH – 0x9124589c4eAD555F04a7214214c86EA80E129abB

Bittube – bxdigY3LEr3hL2cScYqTJaiafeDxhpt9bK9FcxXbkuFeDyc9sZfF97iAmqSPR6NyfQ8wp34d7PeAU95gsZYQBpib1YEKz5aY4

Transcript

Researcher of creature from Jekyll Island and of course world better half but in this video that’s happening between Donald Trump the Federal Reserve and even the president warning that the Federal Reserve is a bigger threat than China Buffet $20. It’s just so ridiculous 22 trillion dollars what’s your take on it okay I think it’s all theater it’s been there for a long long time is ridiculous show is 21 trillion. The fact of the matter is that the honest business about worried about that because they know it’s just a question of who’s going to get stuck with the bill and so that’s the theater they were playing through and I I get kind of fed up looking at these newspaper accounts worthy the journalists are playing what are we going to do about this problem is the problem except until the whole thing and then all the guys are probably over in Costa Rica someplace and we’re stuck with the bill, 20 to $20 with a vast amount of that what’s your reactions and any additional guys want to add to that keep on going out to you know 30 40 50. It doesn’t really matter what it is a number of different Empires they died with their currency so they can friends until the currency becomes worthless at one point where people’s like I can’t afford food anymore like look at you being in in France in the jail is on the yellow they are that is the symptom of it the other Wes moon is a symptom of like all these dead that gets created all these money that’s constantly gets printed out into the economy and going to be the breaking point where you just snap so we have like the Arab Spring for example where it just people can’t afford any more food or do you know the general Necessities in system is just going to go, wow that’s my point of view mean we’re seeing the bigger kind of general effects of it with just the prices of basic necessities going up everywhere meanwhile the whole system’s rigged. The government just keeps borrowing more money just blatantly and financing just the most ridiculous craziest projects I mean I mean a lot of people are in a way to this but some of that kind of your take on this job a bigger license is servitude and we know who they’re in servitude to the government’s and I think that’s one of the main takes away from this is what are we doing to protect ourselves of course there’s many different ways to protect ourselves lots of solutions, dad just said there that he’s fed up with this it. I think that’s a no pun intended of course but I think that there was a bit of a pain there because once people realize that the Federal Reserve System is pushing them into servitude they are losing their losing their purchasing power everyday to go to work at the tax they are losing money off their paychecks I think it’s absolutely disgusting. But I do see a lot of solutions out of that and those Solutions also include a sad to know if I cash flow out and you know I obviously throughout history Racine that and of course centralized cryptocurrency for the time being not saying that especially what is going to happen down the line with that for the time being I mean competing currency systems are great and we got to get out of the legal tender sit down and stop being a debt slave because of course they shutting down a bottomless pit of debt you’re forced to ask for a ladder up from the government and the banking system which perks you in perfect servitude right where they want to say that to me unless and I take out of it a geographer I still want to emphasize the incredible work that you’ve been doing for decades warning people hate pretty corrupt what they say they’re doing and now we’re finally in position will it ever ever kind of kind of Reckoning. Zimbabwe but is the system just bulletproof with the United States spending so much money and and I kind of just see this continuing on for I don’t know how long but could this go on forever.

Well I don’t think it can go on forever but I admit that it has gone on a lot longer than I thought it would without the bubble bursting but I think we time in history and that is the globalization of the monetary system we talked about making a One World Currency but he actually we’ve we’ve almost already gotten there when we consider that the u.s. dollar is the you know these the primary dollar exchange around the world all the major Financial transactions are either done in in dollars or the can be converted to dollars rate quickly and send the accounts are settled in dollars so that gives the people in the United States a unique opportunity and offer us an opportunity to this kind of Angola rest of the world because we create the dollars doesn’t like you don’t even have to print it anymore just shows up in a computer so we can make dollars pretty easily when go to the payroll. Having assets and offset by liabilities we go through and we were at able to do this at the expense of the rest of the world because they were hungry for our dollars because that they were exchangeable for their current season for goods and services is coming to an end I don’t know how fast is going to come up already and I don’t know how long I can continue but I do not think it can go on forever the difference is in my view that it might not end the same way it has always ended before.

It is always ended before as a a complete collapse as near me as stations are fall because of this and that people and governments are overthrown because of this but there’s something else going on here since this is global which means a single authority of governance the whole thing come together where there is no Escape you cannot walk out on the doors anymore there are no doors and they’re all in there none out and so what they’re talking about new currencies and now they’re talking about digital currencies and cryptocurrencies and they the government send that central banks are drooling over this because that’s going to be an end to cash and then the cash. Physical impossibility you have to leave your monetary wealth in the system is it now you’re kind of if we allow this to happen I don’t there are no doors out of course and there’s no way for us to apparently to escape from it in anyway and people need to realize this is more of a possibility then you think I remember where it was two years ago I landed in India when I have to go in and make sure that they declare their income how much money how much cash they had so they could pay taxes on a bigger scheme here that states and of course, which is also very important as we know China and Russia are also our big component of this Josh and World alternative media and John I’ve been talking about this also in great detail on their Channel but the last kind of comment. Wanted to bring you guys just to kind of finish this off and kind of have a general discussion is with Donald Trump because Donald Trump what’s your kind of assessment and take is he a part of the game as part of the sky is he playing along there they’re having disputes about the budget.

20 to 20,000 that doesn’t really matter it’s just more theater but how do you guys assess it whoever wants to take it first because that’s very important when you look at the history of the Fiat system for example you look at a thousand years if you functioning fiat currency I might be a little bit.

Thousand years have gone by but today we have information we have the internet we have the access to we are changed Ed Griffin’s work the creature from Jekyll Island we have access to a lamb and I think this is really important because no matter what Trump does residents don’t have a say over that they can make little attitude adjustment but I mean honestly how many times you have to explain if a president goes inside I had II optimistic that president can change all this I think this is going to be more on the people and Innovation on the market to replace that system and obviously I talking about the fat and how it’s a dangerous thing that sits on more of a risk than China find that interesting because if you consider the fact that China is what the International Community seems to be heading to work doesn’t matter whether it’s at China or the Federal Reserve. It’s complete nonsense we have to look to ourselves decentralised compete currencies and stop depending on people to manipulate money and make money for us because it’s nonsense has never worked in historically enslave Millions upon millions of people this whole system with having a central bank we just got to learn and with what Trump is saying that the FED is the enemy will look at what Bank of Japan is done because that’s where we’re going like Bank of Japan Orleans 86.11 percent of all the etf’s they bought stocks about real estate maybe go back to the speech of Ben Bernanke in 2002 when it was put in as a governor not that chair at the time but at the governor he said that you know we need to look at what kind of menus call Alaska salmon need to buy to prop up the economy and he said you know the printing press will never fail if we get deflation we will print enough to conquer the deflation with invoice because if you get. Equation in India economy that’s the mortal enemy of the Keynesian dead by System where you always got to get more debt to pay off that ever increasing interest that doesn’t exist you will have a complete collapse and that’s what they just going to ride it yeah I believe they’re just going to keep on Printing and I believe I found Trump has like zero to nothing to say about that like it’s all set up as a separate entity the Federal Reserve and all of its underlying an old like the exchange stabilization fund that it has he no hiding around in the world I believe they are like a huge part of this whole thing trying to you know use their counterpart he’s probably not with the office is to have around the world feel like o’hare’s a hedge fund over in China they could buy some assets just make it seem like that the FED is all okay but then you have these guys over here you know actually manipulating like right now you’re seeing like the Depeche fat is kind of selling off assets but meanwhile there the other you know Bank of England bank of Japan and and. The other big ones are actually loading off center bank balance sheet globally 3% so it’s like it’s not going down like they’re buying more more assets because it’s a Ponzi scheme you can take for a Ponzi scheme as a guy said I forgot his name and and that’s what this is It’s a massive Global Ponzi scheme that’s run by whole bunch of criminal banksters that he’ll get paid dividends on their investment in the Federal Reserve and then you not going to have you know Donald Trump said he can say everything that he wants you know with the best of intentions but you’re not going to stop this entity that separate from the Garmin to my phone. I’m trying to stay focused on not the original question. Biblical quotation by their fruits you shall know them other way of saying it is actions speak louder than words and I’ve begun to think a lot about those phrases likely because from the day that mr. Trump was elected and we all had many of us at least had so much hope that he was actually going to do something in these areas that we were left with the words but not the action issue after issue we’ve seen the word come on all is finally something is going to happen we’re going to build a wall or whatever it is we’re going to solve this problem has always spoken very suspiciously about the Federal Reserve but he’s never done anything about it which is now in his defense in the law of the Federal Reserve Act which is a cartel agreement that was legalized by Congress and which it says that the president really can’t do nothing about it except a point the chairman of the board. And that kind of thing but he has no control over it and then the Congress has no control over that’s what Congress agreed to give away its power over the monetary system in this is a stupid thing called the Federal Reserve Act I know they said he has appointed to his cabinet some people who were the Federal Reserve and he has a pointed to his people who are kind of woman he said when we got to put an end to all these Foreign Wars but then increases the military budget and does just the opposite I’m back to this thing that actions speak louder than words and that’s my present level of skepticism at the moment let us see what happens I think you’re hot and again 22 trillion dollars just hit today in the comments. Your financial economics theater that we’re all going through and person I want to thank and poko expect a lot more coverage what’s important topics Independent Media thank you again so much watching stay tuned for more here on YouTube, we are change.

The post Trump Says The Fed Is More Dangerous Than China As Debt Hits 22 Trillion appeared first on We Are Change.

from We Are Change https://wearechange.org/trump-says-the-fed-is-more-dangerous-than-china-as-debt-hits-22-trillion/

#We are Change #We Are Change

0 notes

surveysofdayspast · 7 years

Text

“wooooooo”

Survey from: May 3, 2010 @ 1:03am Today: May 3, 2017 – 4:54pm.

Your last ex finds out you've fallen in love with another person? 2010: no ex lol

2017: Technically the above answer is a lie—I once dated a boy for a day in grade 7 or something. So I DID, in fact, have an ex. Technically. But anyways, to answer the question, I imagine he would just be happy that I’m happy (the most recent ex, not the grade 7 one…).

Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life? 2010: oh yes.

2017: Well I’m pretty sure I’m standing here, in one piece, better and happier than ever. So…no.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? 2010: wo-ta-ta (water) :)

2017: Literally just had a sip of water before typing this. Or “wo-ta-ta” as I apparently used to say.

Your mom finds used condoms in your room, you tell her? 2010: lmao she doesnt need to worry about that right now hahaha

2017: “Well, it looks like someone broke into our house and had sex in my room, because you KNOW it wasn’t me.”

Do you prefer pasta salad, or coleslaw? 2010: pasta salad im thinkinnn

2017: This feels like one of the more random questions I’ll encounter in this survey. I like pasta salad if it’s not the kind with tuna, and coleslaw is also great if it doesn’t have too much dressing. In terms of which one I prefer, the answer appears to be…neither. They are equally great under the conditions specified above.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? 2010: yeah probably, not like ive had it up to now, if i just kept not drinking..id be fine :p

2017: My naïve 16-year-old self doesn’t even know what she was missing. I definitely COULD live without alcohol, but I think my life would be much less interesting if I made that particular choice.

Who's bed were you on last? 2010: mine lmao

2017: Same, younger me. Same.

When was the last time you changed in front of someone? 2010: lol no clue :p

2017: I just thought of old lady Rose from Titanic saying, “It’s been 84 years.” I’m gunna go with that, I think.

Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? 2010: yesss i haveee

2017: It feels REALLY early into that relationship for me to have cried (literally one month in), but hey, who am I to judge? Since we’re speaking of the same human, the answer is still yes.

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice? 2010: yes :)

2017: Yes.

Does anyone call you babe? 2010: on occasion :p

2017: I spent some time trying to think of clever answer to this—but I couldn’t so the answer is no.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating? 2010: yes for sure

2017: Well, I managed for 12x that so I don’t think staying faithful is really a problem for me.

Do you think the last person you kissed is a player? 2010: nope hahaha

2017: No.

Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends"? 2010: its possible, ive seen it :p

2017: So many spelling and grammatical errors…it’s so hard not to edit them all out... Yeah, it’s possible. I’ve seen it happen. I think it greatly depends on the circumstances of the break-up, however, and perhaps long they were together, etc.

Your ex wants you back? 2010: no ex :p

2017: I feel like this question could be received in two different ways. But no to both contexts.

Anyone say they want to be with you forever? 2010: nope

2017: Yes.

Ever dated someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited personality? 2010: nope

2017: No.

Last person you had a deep conversation with? 2010: twitter? hahahahaaaaa :p

2017: My conversations with Twitter are significantly less deep than they are ridiculous nowadays. But I used to have a REAL tweeting problem in high school. That’s why my tweet count is over 15k or something insane like that.

Anyways, I have pretty deep questions with my best gal pal Kelsey, because lives and personalities parallel each other in a lot of ways (and also because she’s awesome and easy to talk to).

Even more recently, my mom and I have spent a significant amount of time theorizing about who killed Jason Blossom on Riverdale because I guess we just think we’re Sherlock Holmes and John Watson or something. These conversations, while seemingly arbitrary, are actually SURPRISINGLY in depth.

(P.S. we think it was Hal Cooper). Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? 2010: yes, literally more than half the time :)

2017: Why didn’t I ever capitalize my sentences?

And sure, but only of the fictional and unattainable variety. Did you reject or accept your last friend request? 2010: accepttttt

2017: I’m not going to lie, I think I rejected? Because #strangerdanger. I really don’t remember, though.

Would you prefer being locked in a room with your ex or your worst enemy? 2010: no ex, and i dont really have an enemy...unless its just someone i hate, which would be the penguin..and id rather shoot myself in the face then be locked in a room with her :p (not to be overly dramatic or anything :p)

2017: That was definitely dramatic. To clarify, the “penguin” I refer to in this answer and in some answers and surveys to follow probably, was my grade 11 English teacher. I did a weird thing where I nicknamed some of my least-favourite teachers after an animal I thought they looked like. At the end of the day, this is a pretty rude thing to do but I won’t pretend it never happened! This particular teacher was a genuinely bad one, however, so I only regret judging her by her appearance, but will never regret judging her lack of teaching abilities.

Moving on—I choose my ex, since I don’t have an “enemy” to speak of (probably because I’m a real person and not a fictional character archetype) and some potentially awkward conversation is significantly less awful than a possible duel to-the-death. Have you kissed someone in 2010 that means a lot to you? 2010: yes!!! <3

2017: Given that it is no longer 2010, I technically can’t answer this question in the here-and-now. I will, however, answer it for this year?

The answer is no. Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? 2010: lack of ex ahahaha

2017: Definitely.

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? 2010: OMG Juno?!

2017: That would be significantly awkward for a number of reasons.

Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? 2010: ahahaha doesnt matter :p kinda depends i guess :p

2017: “kinda depends”—Oh boy.

They’re both nice. Would it hurt seeing the person you last kissed kissing someone else? 2010: oh yes

2017: Look how the times have changed. No, it wouldn’t.

If the last person you kissed bumped into you at school, what would you say? 2010: good morning! :) like usualll? lmao :p

2017: “Why are you at school? Why am I at school? Aren’t we adults now?”

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? 2010: yupp pretty much :)

2017: Yeah, I suppose I do.

Do you believe your latest ex thinks about you? 2010: lack.of.ex.

2017: I really couldn’t say, as I do not, in fact, live inside his brain.

Has the last person you kissed, met your family? 2010: yes, yes he has :p

2017: You bet.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? 2010: lol i should hope so :)

2017: I was about to say no but then I realized that would probably be a lie. It just isn’t mutual.

I don’t want to talk about it… Youre insanely drunk stumbling through the streets, slurring songs, who are you with? 2010: this hasnt and probably wont be happening for a while now :p sooooooooooooo i have literally nooo idea :p

2017: I could see this happening with Rachael or Sasha to be honest.

Next time you will kiss someone? 2010: tomorrowwww :)

2017: Only Father Time knows the answer to this question.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? 2010: [name redacted] :)

2017: Kelsey!

Do you like to cuddle? 2010: yes :)

2017: Yeah, my cat and I cuddle all the time.

If an ex said they hated you, you say? 2010: no ex! :p

2017: “That’s nice.”

I don’t know, it just isn’t something that would happen unless I manage to be a really terrible human being. Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? 2010: probably not hahaha :p

2017: Sure. Probably not “just to see me,” though. If I was in need for whatever reason I definitely have people.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? 2010: mehh probably :p obviously nothing crazy though? hahahaa

2017: You bet! Ah, life.

Is there someone you used to talk to every day that you don't talk to at all? 2010: yeah sort of

2017: Ah, life (once again). Adult life, in particular.

Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? 2010: mehhh wouldnt want to be lol

2017: I’m genuinely curious to know who I was speaking of in 2010.

The old answer holds true nonetheless. Although thankfully I can’t recall ever being hurt to a point where I thought I was beyond repair. Can you have more than one best friend? 2010: of course!

2017: “Sigh”

Yes. Has anyone said they love you in the last week? 2010: parents ahahaa

2017: Once again, the 7-year-old answer holds true.

Last compliment you received? 2010: not suuuure!

2017: I don’t fully remember but I think it had to do with my hair!

Are you starting to realize anything? 2010: i dont know? ahahaha :p

2017: What a vague question. I don’t even know how to answer it, to be honest. There are so many things that I could be “realizing” that I just feel really overwhelmed and confused while I try to figure it out.

Aren’t we constantly realizing and learning things? Isn’t that what life is?

This question might give me an existential crisis. Who was the first person you talked to today? 2010: [name redacted] technically, textinggggg! :)

2017: Kelsey via text, Dad via…real life.

Have you ever known someone that just creeped you out? 2010: who hasnt? :p

2017: Yes, unfortunately.

Do you hate it when people mispronounce your name? 2010: yeah, because you really think it wouldnt happen, oh but it haaasss :p

2017: My name card at my college grad had the pronunciation of my name (Jaime) as “HAY-may” and I kind of wish I didn’t make the correction.

I don’t hate it, it doesn’t happen often at all. Misspelling it, on the other hand, is a completely different story. Although that doesn’t bother me too much either because it happens almost every day of my life. I’m probably too chill for my own good.

0 notes