#its flour sugar eggs butter cocoa powder maybe and that's It

[catfishofoldin99colours]

'easy chocolate cake recipe!' and the ingredients list is more than 10 things

#catfish speaks #that's not a fucking easy recipe #that's a nightmare #its not easy if one of the ingredients is oil???? what the fuck #its flour sugar eggs butter cocoa powder maybe and that's It #essentially whats in a packet mix #THAT'S easy #also this recipe needs 4 fucking eggs who can spare that many eggs!!!

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Vil Schoenheit - Apprentice Chef Vignette

"Master Chef"

[Kitchen]

Master Chef ― Vil Version ～Let's Make Chocolate Cake 1～

Ghost Chef: I know you said you wanted to take the Master Chef course so you can appear on a cooking show…

Ghost Chef: But I can only teach you how to cook. I don't know anything about television programming.

Vil: I completely understand that. My purpose here is only to strengthen my cooking prowess.

Vil: As I learn the proper techniques and gain experience, each movement I make will start to naturally refine, wouldn't you say?

Ghost Chef: I get it. I feel a bit better after hearing that, Vil-kun. Alright, let's get started on a Chocolate Cake!

Vil: A classic pastry, everyone's favorite. I suppose I should pre-heat the oven.

Ghost Chef: Oh, nicely done. Set it to 180°C.

Vil: Set it for 180°C and… It's now pre-heating. So then, I'll start the prep now.

Ghost Chef: Crack open the eggs into the bowl, then add the granulated sugar. Mix it thoroughly until it's white and thick.

Vil: I understand. Now that I'm taking a look at the ingredients before me, I see that we'll be using a lot more granulated sugar than I had expected.

Vil: It reminds me of the first time I made dressing, I was taken aback by the amount of oil needed for it…

Vil: Unless you make it yourself, there's no telling what kind and how much of certain ingredients are in a dish.

[mixes batter]

Vil: I've been stirring and letting it take in oxygen… It's starting to become fluffy and white.

Ghost Chef: Look at you, moving your hands and speaking at the same time. Is that something you'd have to do on those TV shows?

Vil: That's right. If all I do is cook silently, that would be completely uninteresting, wouldn't you say?

Vil: On top of that, my own pride wouldn't let me appear as though I lack the know-how.

Ghost Chef: Hmmm, that's pretty rough… Alright, go ahead and stir in the cocoa powder and wheat flour.

Vil: I see they're already mixed together. Now I'll just sift it properly so there are no lumps…

Ghost Chef: Nice, well done. Mix it all well together with the rubber spatula as if you're trying to slice it.

Vil: I just need to scoop the batter from the bottom of the bowl and make sure it evenly blends together… Baking cake is much more laborious than I thought.

Vil: Everything has been tidied up, and I've finished making the apricot jam for the cake.

Ghost Chef: The cake sponge has probably cooled enough by now. Try popping it out from the mold.

Vil: Right. …The cake slid out of the mold just like the recipe said it would. Very nice.

Ghost Chef: Alright, now pour the apricot jam you made earlier onto the surface.

Ghost Chef: And spread it evenly across all sides with a palette knife.

Vil: So a thin layer of the jam is spread over the sponge-like surface, to help smooth it out.

Vil: This is exactly how it would be preparing to apply makeup.

Vil: Especially if I think of the jam as the primer, and the chocolate as the foundation.

Ghost Chef: Ahaha. That's an interesting way to put it. Now, let's make the chocolate glaçage.

Ghost Chef: Put the chocolate in the bowl and melt it by immersing the bowl in hot water.

Vil: And then I stir it with the rubber spatula like so… It's starting to melt from around the edges.

Vil: As the chocolate warms, its sweet scent starts to pervade the air.

Ghost Chef: Heh, maybe that aroma will even be trailing out of this kitchen.

Ghost Chef: Oh, looks like the chocolate has all melted. Next, immerse the bottom of the bowl in cold water.

Vil: We just melted it, and now you want me to cool it?

Ghost Chef: Yep. By applying heat and cold repetitively, the cocoa butter in the chocolate can crystallize.

Ghost Chef: When you temper in this way, you can make a velvety rich chocolate glaçage.

Vil: I understand. I'll make sure that this cake is enveloped by the most gorgeous chocolate glaçage you've ever seen.

[Kitchen]

Master Chef ― Vil Version ～Let's Make Chocolate Cake 2～

Vil: So, we lower the temperature of the chocolate by immersing it in cold water… and then warm it before it hardens?

Ghost Chef: That's right. And don't let up on the stirring. The slightest change in temperature can affect it.

Vil: I can't allow myself to get distracted one bit, hm. I need to be able to continue conversation even while concentrating on the task at hand.

[tempers chocolate]

Ghost Chef: Wow. Tempering is a pretty difficult task, but you did pretty good for your first time!

Vil: Temperature management is just as important in potionology, you see. Even a 1°C difference can transform a potion into poison.

Ghost Chef: I see. I guess your potionology knowledge came in handy, then.

Vil: There's also the way the recipe needs to be fully understood and followed to the letter and the ingredients need to be carefully prepared, measured and mixed in…

Vil: As well as how everything needs to be thoroughly blended together until the desired outcome is realized… Potions and baking have much in common.

Vil: Those who have a penchant for potions and poisons could have what it takes to be a pâtisserie.

Ghost Chef: I-I think it's a little scary to think about how the ability to craft poisons could help bake sweets.

Vil: Joking aside… How does the chocolate glaçage look now?

Ghost Chef: Perfect. That's all you'll need for the tempering. Time to finish the cake!

Ghost Chef: The trick here is to take the palette knife and spread the chocolate before it cools and hardens completely.

Vil: To present a beautiful cake, the chocolate must be uniformly spread over the total surface.

Vil: I only need to think of it as though I am applying foundation after having used primer on the face already.

Vil: Alright, I'm ready to pour the glaçage now.

Vil: The cake sponge is now completely covered in the glaçage. Now I'll use the palette knife as if it were a make-up spatula…

Vil: …LIKE THIS!

Ghost Chef: A-Amazing! Usually, we'll get amateurs overusing the palette knife and leaving lines everywhere, but…

Ghost Chef: You've not a single wasteful movement! What a beautiful display…

Vil: Heh, done to perfection. This is my masterpiece, combining techniques from both make up and potionology.

Ghost Chef: It looks so smooth and shiny and beautiful. It would be a shame to cut into it.

Vil: I fully agree… But I suppose we must head to the judging venue momentarily.

[Cafeteria – Judging Venue]

Idia: I thought I'd just order a choco cake to get a quick sugar high but then… Next thing I know, I'm dragged into this mess...

Vil: So, my judge is Idia, I see. I'm rather surprised you ordered the chocolate cake.

Idia: HIEE! N-N-N-NO WAY, VIL-SHI!?

Idia: Th-There's no way I'm getting out of this without an earful no matter what I say. I'll just smash the like button, so can I go…?

Vil: Stop thinking and tell me what you honestly think. Here, have a taste.

Idia: I-I just need to eat and get this over with… [chew, chew]…

Idia: …I…I g-guess… it's good…?

Idia: Tho this is just a singular opinion… It in no way guarantees or endorses the actual flavor of the product…

Ghost Chef: Uhh, right, so I guess that's a passing grade then. Good job, Vil-kun.

Vil: Indeed, thank you. But more importantly…

Idia: Y-YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASKED ME TO JUDGE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN MORE IMPORTANTLY!?

Vil: I wonder how I looked while cooking. Let's check the camera footage.

Ghost Chef: …Ah! You recorded yourself with your smartphone while cooking!? I didn't even notice!!

Idia: His eyes are just glued to that video… Despite deleting my comment from his IRL feed…

Vil: There doesn't seem to be many issues with how I do any of the basic techniques, like breaking eggs, or mixing the batter.

Vil: The issue is with tempering. I was so focused on the task that I couldn't spare a single glance towards the camera…

Vil: My conversation level dropped immensely. It seems I still have much to improve on.

Vil: Not only do I need to present my food beautifully, but myself as well.

Requested by @sakurakudo and @dare-to-walk-alone.

#twisted wonderland #twst #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #twst vil #twst idia #twst translation #twst masterchef

[ssavinggrace]

@drewlover

your annabeth post about her 'having so much love to give' I kinda wrote a bit on that. and drew something- also the brownie recipe in this y'all gotta try.

page 1. one of many recepies percy loves.

sally's brownies prep time-fifteen minutes. cook time-thirty minutes. total-forty five minutes. one cup of melted butter -1/2 cups of unsweetened coco powder -2 cups of all-purpose flour -4 large eggs -4 teaspoons of vanilla extract -as much blue food dye as you want. sally said 'I usually put in twenty five drops, which is alot, but Percy loves it.' icing - 1/4 cups of softened butter - 1/4 cup of milk. sally uses 2% -1/4 cup if unsweetened coco powder - 3 cups powdered sugar Instructions Preheat oven to 350° F. -Line a 9x13-inch baking dish with foil and spray foil with non-stick spray. Set aside. - In the bowl of an electric stand-mixer, add the melted butter and cocoa powder. Using the paddle attachment, blend till smooth. Add the flour and sugar. Beat together then add eggs and vanilla. Mix just until combined. Don't over mix. The batter will be thick -Pour batter into prepared baking dish and spread out evenly. Bake 25 to 35 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Remove brownies from oven and let stand 15 minutes before frosting. -You want the brownies still warm when you frost them! -FOR CHOCOLATE FROSTING: Beat together all the frosting ingredients until smooth. Pour and spread over warm brownies. Let cool completely before cutting and serving.

page 2. my beautiful boy 💙

percy has a series of scars down his back.  one long one Down the middle of his back, vertical way. he has five, small thin scars across this scar. he has a a set of three scars down his left shoulder blade, clearly from a monster. some maybe from Gabe. when studying, percy let's me sit in his lap and he plays with my hair. later, i ran a hand through his hair, he relaxed. run his hands through his hair. he loves it. he hates sour candy. he refuses to eat it. today percy stayed up with estelle all night because she's sick, because he said "she might be lonely". reminder to do that when he's sick too" he scrunches up his nose when he's worried he wants to become a trauma and abuse counselor. he wants to help people that went through similar things. mortals and demigods alike. he likes when I wear his cologne. wear it often.

pg 3. lia :)

what I got her on December 22, after Mount Tam, her first birthday back. - a bow able to hold any arrow or immense pressure. ie: when Thalia uses her lightning arrows, it won't heat or break. after Gaia's defetion, shortly after Apollos first misson of redemption, what i got her on her next birthday. -a phone built by Leo with no tracking. all of our friends have one too, all to stay in contact even when she's across the world. something she got after Jason died. - Jason's journal. Jason wanted to give it to her. and the pelt he'd been given from Lupa, he gifted to Thalia. I'm glad she got left his journal too, at least one of them would get to know the other. what I'll get her this year - she keeps talking about a pair of boots. it may sound stupid, but she won't stop talking about it. I definitely want to get her something she wants. but, I dint want to give her just that. I'll meet with Piper to get her to help me to make her better boots. I'll sketch it out.

pg 5. baby girl 🩷

In the realm where love's sweet whispers reside, There walks a demigod, grace personified. Piper McLean, daughter of Aphrodite's grace, With a smile that could brighten the darkest space. Her soft, pretty smile, a radiant delight, Like a sunbeam breaking through the darkest night. Her hair, like tendrils of love's sweet art, Curls into little hearts, a work of the heart. In the gentlest light, her features gleam, A vision of beauty, a celestial dream. The corners of her eyes, they gently crease, When she smiles, all the world finds its peace. A demigod of love, she truly embodies, Aphrodite's daughter, in whom love resides. Piper McLean, a goddess in mortal guise, With a heart so warm, and beauty that never dies.

#pjo #hoo #toa #percy jackson #thalia grace #tsats #heros of olympus #annabeth chase #piper mclean #jason grace #Annabeth writing #she's so sweet #i love her

[spooniechef]

Gluten-Free Chocolate Mug Cake (0 Spoons)

I've been quiet here for awhile, at least in part because it's been a long month or two. There's been overtime at work, which I should not have been doing but because we're understaffed and half the office got sick, I had little choice. Also I went to what will probably be my last convention a couple of weeks ago, which was objectively hellacious but I got autographs from the entire cast of Critical Role so I regret nothing. But of course I came out of that with a serious pain flare and what might have been con crud but was also quite possibly the flu, so that kind of murdered any chance of my being productive the last couple of weeks. But I have this week off and I have some plans. Mostly because I got cookbooks and very much intend to use them.

Side note - I've been contemplating doing a thing to raise money for Fibromyalgia Action UK, and weirdly, my main thought about something sponsored has been "cook through an entire cookbook in 12 months", like The Julie / Julia Project. I came up with that idea least partly because Julie Powell died a couple of weeks ago, which ... I mean, she was barely older than me, what the fuck? But also because cookbooks don't exactly give a chronic pain-friendly rating to its recipes, and part of it would involve doing an adjunct-document with spoon ratings like I do on the recipes here. Still toying with the idea, at least partly because butter and eggs are expensive as fuck. Don't even get me started on the pecans I need for a recipe I got my mother to bring me Jell-O pudding from North America especially to make. Also there's too much that needs buttermilk and that's not so much a thing over here.

Which brings me to today's bit of cookery notes. See, I have new cookbooks, and I've been trying to decide what I want to make from them. I'm having serious executive dysfunction about so much of it, so for the most part I've been sticking with chocolate chip cookies. But I didn't want to do that this time, but there are so many cookies to try. Eventually I got tired of indecision and just really wanted a sweet treat, and one of my cookbooks (Quick + Easy Gluten Free by Becky Excell, which I heartily recommend) had recipes for mug cakes. I'd never tried one, so I figured, why not? I went for the chocolate one instead of the jam doughnut one because I didn't want to use an egg for just the yolk until I found something to do with the white. (Which probably means the next recipe you'll see here is gluten-free cinnamon roll sugar cookies, but anyway.)

So! Chocolate mug cakes! Here's what you'll need:

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

4 tablespoons milk

2 tablespoons caster sugar

1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder

3 tablespoons gluten-free all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon gluten-free baking powder

1 tablespoon chocolate chips

I imagine you could replace both the all-purpose flour and the baking powder with gluten-containing versions and have it be fine. But note - no xanthan gum, no egg. You could probably add the tiniest drop of vanilla extract, though.

Here's what you do:

Put all the ingredients in a microwaveable mug; mix well

Cover the mug with plastic wrap; poke a few holes in the plastic

Microwave on high for 60-70 seconds

Let cool for a couple of minutes (the mug will be really hot)

FEAST (they recommend topping it with ice cream and / or chocolate syrup, so maybe do that and then FEAST)

There is no earthly way I could make this any easier. You could probably add various bits of additional flavour - replace the chocolate chips with fudge chips, a drop of vanilla or orange or mint extract, maybe a pinch of cinnamon - but it's pretty well fine on its own. The only thing I can add is that the cookbook says microwave on high in a 900W microwave, but mine is 800W so I just put it in for 70 seconds and it was fine, so maybe add an extra 5-10 seconds if your microwave is lower wattage than that.

So yeah, this is the perfect spoonie dessert, really. If you're having a bad day and are tired and you just want something nice that requires no effort and isn't a £3 brownie? This is the way to go.

#the spoonie chef #recipes #gluten-free #sweets #baking #(sort of baking anyway)

[jooshthepunished]

Gooey Brownies with Maple Fireball Caramel sauce

Start by preheating your oven to 375℉reedomheit

Lightly grease an 8-inch square glass baking dish with bacon grease, and dust on some powdered sugar until there are no bare spots.

Combine 1/2 cup hot melted butter, 1 tbsp olive oil, and 1 1/8 cup superfine sugar in a heat-safe bowl. Whisk vigorously for 1 minute, then add 2 large eggs and 2 tsp vanilla extract. Beat for another minute, or until the color is lighter.

Now sift your dries onto your goo. 1/2 cup all-purpose flour, 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, and 1/4 tsp salt.

Gently fold the dries and the goo together with a rubber spatula until they're JUST BARELY combined. If you over-beat the batter, the brownies won't be gooey.

Pour and scrape the batter into the baking dish and gently smooth over the top. Bake for 20-25 minutes or just until the center stops jiggling. Your toothpick should come out covered in fudgy goo.

While your brownies are baking, it's time to make the sauce.

In a medium-sized pot, combine 1 cup real maple syrup, 1/8 cup Fireball Whisky, and 1/8 cup water over a medium to medium-high heat, bringing it up to an insane temperature (you're looking to hit a flesh-searing 350℉, maybe use a probe thermometer). When the mixture becomes a nice golden color (or to temperature) pull it off the heat and split 1/2 cup heavy cream into two pours, whisking each pour in (the caramel will foam up, doing it this way will avoid it becoming a nightmare and hopefully keep the cream from breaking). Whisk it until it's smooth, and let it come down to a less terrifying temperature before you stir in another 2oz of Fireball and 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon.

When your brownies are done, pour your maple-cinnamon-whisky caramel over them, let it set a little, and slice to desired size.

Top with a sprinkle of sea salt and serve either on its own or with a fat scoop of vanilla ice cream.

#my recipes

[mellon1998]

It's baking season and, as a person who bakes as a hobby, I wanna post some tips beyond the usual "Just use milk instead of water for boxed cake" tip that everyone seems to think is some big secret.

Get parchment paper. It's super useful for cooking, too, but trust me you will want it for baking. Unless specified, most recipes will assume you're using parchment paper. Things bake differently on parchment paper than foil, get the parchment paper. Also, you don't need to put anything on the parchment paper to prevent sticking.

I don't care what the box or recipe says when you are making brownies DO NOT GREASE YOUR PAN. What you are going to do is line it with parchment paper and leave about 2-3 inches of paper sticking above the top of the pan. Once they're all done, you simply grab the paper and lift it out of the pan.

Brownies will bake fine in a glass baking dish if that's all ya got, you don't have to have a brownie pan.

When you are measuring ingredients use dry measuring cups for dry ingredients and level the ingredients. If you do a heaping "cup" of flour you have measured more than a cup of flour.

FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS. This isn't cooking, this is baking. Doing things in the wrong way, wrong order, wrong amount will impact the final product in terms of texture and taste in big ways.

If you are baking some kind of pastry (pie, tart, etc.) And the pastry tops/edges are done but the center and filling are not, cover the top and/or edges with foil. This will prevent burning while the rest bakes.

Be patient when you are creaming butter and sugar. The creaming process has phases. First the butter just gets coated in sugar (popcorn phase), then it kinda starts to break down and mix (lumpy mashed potatoes phase), then it will be nice and smooth and properly creamed (creamy mashed potatoes phase). Be patient.

Cube your butter before you cream it, it will make your life easier.

Unless specified, bring eggs and butter to room temperature before you use them. It will affect the texture.

Use whole milk if you can, the recipe will likely assume you are and it's taking the fat content of the milk into consideration.

When adding the dry ingredients into the wet do it in portions. It will incorporate better and make less of a mess.

Folding ≠ mixing. When you fold your dry ingredients into either whipped cream or egg whites, DO NOT MIX THEM. You are undoing all the work you just did. Instead, pour some of the dry ingredients in, use a spatula to cut down the center and fold it over onto itself. Look up a video if you need to. Do not overfold, either.

Use wooden spatulas instead of silicone. Maybe this is just personal preference, but silicone spatulas have never been good to me and I hate them. Wood is much kinder and can actually handle thicker doughs and batters.

If you are baking cookies that you need to roll out and cut (either with a knife or cookie cutter), please make sure you chill the dough before you cut it. Not only will it be easier to cut out, but chilled dough holds its shape and doesn't spread while baking.

If you are doing a one bowl recipe, where it specifically says to mix everything in a single bowl, mix between ingredients. For example, if you add the flour first then the cocoa powder, mix after you add the cocoa powder. If it says to add baking soda next, mix after you add the baking soda. If it doesn't specify an order in the directions, just go down the ingredient list. This ensures everything is fully incorporated into the dough/batter.

I have no clue if anyone will actually need these, but I think people get intimated by baking so they never try it. It's one of my favorite ways to destress and it's not that scary, there are just a lot of things that aren't common knowledge for people who don't bake. Just start with easy stuff and you'll be fine. Feel free to reblog with your own little tips and tricks.

#baking #baking tips #tips and tricks #ive decided to making bread and brownies this year because apparently i hate myself #ive only made this bread once before and it turned out okay but not quite there #let's hope round 2 goes better

[peachpitfullofmaggots]

today i went to two dollar stores and got brown sugar butter eggs and flour and i had to pay in change the first cashier was really nice and the second cashier was very rude but i understand bc last time i was in the store my brother kept playing with the toys and she yelled at us. i know its annoying having to count change so i had measured out dollar amounts in nickels and dimes and wrapped them in paper but she said she couldn't accept it like that and so i unwrapped them and put them in neat stacks on the counter and she counted my money three times giving me dirty looks. i understand getting paid in change is annoying though so i just thanked her and left and didn't take the extra change i gave her back. anyway eggs are $4 for a dozen here and that's pretty disgusting to me. but the butter was just a dollar and the flour and sugar were 1.25 each so it was okay. i had three bananas in the freezer so when i got home i thawed them out and made banana bread. i didn't use a recipe except to look up if i needed both baking soda and powder (varying answers so i just used both) and that felt good. i added cocoa powder and the bread came out very moist and dense but fluffy although i wish i had added more sugar. i figured the bananas would be sweet enough on their own but that's life i guess, things aren't always as sweet as you think. my taste buds might be a bit fucked because my brother said the bread was good. we had a little milk so i made us cinnamon hot chocolae which was delicious. im happy that today a slice of banana bread and a cup of hot chocolate was enough to make me happy. life is still pretty bad i haven't slept in maybe two days and i found my blade box where it was hidden and i smoked four "cigarettes" made of abandoned blunt guts and notebook paper but that's better than last month when i was drinking mouthwash. but anyway the banana bread and hot chocolate was good and it was really nice out today.

#p

[100layersofdaddyissues]

brownies

i know i said i would be bringing out angel part 3 but i hit a block and became inspired so i wrote a little drabble about baking with Pedro.

@innerstrawberrypolice​ this ones for you bebita

pedro x reader domestic

warning: age gap (legal) mild swearing and minor discussion about animosity between parents. also 2020. 2020 needs a warning. 

Being with Pedro in quarantine seemed like a blessing at first, I mean, it was your boyfriend Pedro. You didn’t really consider when you agreed to it, that neither of you could or liked cooking, you’d been ordering in everyday for months with the occasional ramen noodles or pancakes. But in the middle of June, you truly missed baking.

             “my darling how would you feel about risking our lives at Walmart for ingredients to bake brownies?” you said in the sweetest tone hoping that he would be willing.

             “baby we have ingredients for brownies here!” he yelled from the other room, you knew he didn’t want to leave the house, especially for something so trivial.

             “actually, we don’t, we don’t even have eggs, come on we need to go grocery shopping.”

“its 9:30 at night we don’t need to go grocery shopping right now.” Walking back into the kitchen as he replied.

             “fine ill go by myself, you wait here, I don’t want you getting sick, your old man heart couldn’t handle it.” You quipped hoping some banter would alight enough fire in him to take you to the store.

             There was no secret that there was an age gap between you and Pedro, it wasn’t a crazy one. Okay yes it was mildly crazy, but it was legal, and you were happy together, to hell with what other people said, your parents included. His friends and family had been so welcoming and accepting that your mother calling you a gold-digging whore didn’t even seem to faze either of you.

             As you started walking away towards the front door Pedro grabbed you by the waist and spun you to face him, “listen, mi amor, I am not old, I am wise a silver fox.” He said looking down on you with a smirk, he moved his head to your neck trailing kisses up towards your jaw. As you tilted your head back you remarked, “ahh by you see my love, you being a silver fox comes with the added necessity of you being old, you cant be silver if you’re not old.” He pulled away from you to look down at you and say, “alright fine would you like to go get brownie ingredients or would you like to keep teasing me about my age, and my I remind you that you’re the one fucking this old man.”

             “brownies please,” once again melding into your sweet innocent voice, “but we really do need to get groceries. Maybe I can tease you in the car?”

             “don’t be a smart ass we’ll get groceries tomorrow now go get your mask.” God, I hate 2020.

               The drive to the store was filled with, as promised, more teasing from you, and more dirty remarks from Pedro about ‘well I can’t be that old, my dick still works” to which you replied something along the lines of “pull over and we’ll test that out.” Which then in turn made Pedro choke on air and nearly hit another car. Maybe road head wasn’t a good idea.

             As you jumped out of the car seat you all but pranced to the store entrance waiting there for Pedro to catch up. When he finally did, he took your hand leading you through the door, once inside though you were the one pulling him, directly to the baking goods isle.

             “okay so we need flour, eggs, sugar, powdered sugar, butter chocolate chips, sunflower oil and Dutch cocoa.” You prattled off the list of ingredients you needed to make brownies, “ooh and milk!”

             Pedro leaned in close to your ear and whispered in a hush and gruff voice “or, we could get box mix and then get home sooner so I could show you how young I am.” And understanding what he was implying, you ran the boxed batters, grabbed the first one you saw and ran back to him. “okay got it lets go. Now.”

             You realised halfway to the registers that you needed more than just the box to bake brownie, and so what was supposed to be just eggs and butter and milk, turned into a basket full of things you just had to have right that second or you would die, as Pedro put it.

             Finally arriving home, you unpacked and placed everything where they needed to be and finally you were ready to start baking.

             “okay, now I must warn you that if you get in my way and don’t listen to my instructions you will not be licking the batter, from the bowl, no do not look at me like that mister you won’t be licking it off my body either. (spoiler alert yes, he will be.) “alright carina lets get baking, come on.”

             You really didn’t expect the entire affair to be so messy, but this was your Pedro we were talking about, the man has every childish bone in him, it was messy, but it was fun. And within 20 minutes of threatening to crack eggs on each other’s head you were both sitting on the floor, in front of the oven with Edgar, all three of you eagerly peering into the over waiting for the brownies to bake. You were laying back against Pedro, both of you whispering beautiful things about, “this is the life I always dreamed I would have.” And “me too, it was worth the wait.” You couldn’t help but think. God, I love this year.  

#pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fluff

[demonologist-in-denim]

Humming to himself, Crowley dusted the rich dark cocoa powder into the soft white flour, and reached for his trusty wooden spoon. Blending ingredients in a mixer tended to create a smoother batter, but Crowley enjoyed the feel of the spoon in his hand, the sound it made scraping the bottom of the bowl, the hands-on experience of turning flour and sugar and eggs into cake.

When the dry ingredients were properly combined, he made a well in the center and carefully poured in the buttermilk, eggs, butter and vanilla. Instead of the usual red food coloring, Crowley added in fresh beet puree – just enough to give the cake a velvety ruby hue. The rich cocoa would cover the hint of earth with a delicate chocolate flavor. The mixture was then evening distributed between three pans and scooched into the oven.

While the cakes baked, he set to work on the frosting. The softened cream cheese and unsalted butter whipped together beautifully. He settled on using far less powdered sugar than the recipe called for, wanting the tangy sweetness of the cream cheese to accent the cake all on its own.

“Would have asked about any preferences in decoration,” Crowley muttered to himself as he applied the crumb coating to the cake, once it was done baking and properly cooled, “but that would have tipped my hand.” Simple yet elegant seemed appropriate. After applying a thick final layer of cream cheese frosting, Crowley piped fluffy buttercream swirls along the rim of the red velvet cake. A soft pile of crumbled extra cake crowned the top, and he tossed more along the side to create a dusting effect.

There was nothing left now except to take the photo.

Which, as fate would have it, turned out to be the difficult part.

He positioned the cake on the kitchen table, and snapped a few photos. Crowley hmmmed to himself.  It wasn’t quite up to his standard of food porn. Perhaps he’d take a few more, just to be on the safe side. Until one was suitably flattering. He was still adjusting the cake, playing with the proper angle and lighting for the perfect shot, when Sam and Dean strolled into the kitchen.

For a moment, they lingered at a respectful distance. But Crowley could sense their curiosity like a gathering storm of rose petals, soft yet burdensome.

“Can I help you two with something?”

Disbelief and delight were tugging a one-sided smile out of Sam. “Is – is that for Valentine’s Day?”

Valentine’s Day? Crowley narrowed his eyes at the elegant dessert. Bloody hell, the cake was red and white, wasn’t it? He hadn’t considered that when a bit of carefully applied questioning had disclosed the recipient’s cake preferences.

Crowley mulled the situation over. He couldn’t answer in the affirmative. That would mean he had intentionally crafted the cake as a celebration of gushy hearts and the sweet delirium of – internally, Crowley cringed – love. But he also couldn’t reply with a defensive and definitive “no”. That would only open him up to further, unwelcome inquiry.

He settled for the more characteristically dismissive third option.

“It’s Valentine’s Day?” Crowley steadfastly went back to attempting to capture the perfect photo with his phone. “I don’t bother myself keeping track of that sort of thing.”

Dean eyed the demon knowingly. “Yeah, well, our Netflix recommendations would say otherwise.”

Crowley glowered at the hunter.

“Whatever the occasion,” Sam offered up as his brother idled over to the cake, “that’s professional-grade baking. You’ve got a real talent. The frosting, the whole look? Seriously, I’m impressed.”

The arrow of this flannelled cupid hit its mark. Crowley felt a slight blush of pleasure, despite himself. Casual, unsolicited praise? From Sam Winchester? He seriously contemplated the possibility that Sam had been exposed to some sort of low-grade, poorly-concocted love spell that had bloomed into amiability, or maybe it had been released as a pink mist in the bunker’s common room, and Crowley had unknowingly avoided the worst of it. That seemed like the sort of malarkey that would happen around here on what, apparently, was Valentine’s Day.

Because Crowley found himself saying, “Thank you, Sam,” with actual sincerity. Moments such as these reminded Crowley that he was rather fond of these two boys, after all.

That was the moment Dean ran his finger along the edge of the cake, carrying off a large dollop of frosting from one side. The whole cake just looked so enticing! Dean was more of a pie man himself, but Crowley’s culinary expertise had the tendency to tempt him in surprising ways.

He was halfway to lifting the frosting-festooned finger to his mouth when he caught sight of the expression on Crowley’s face. Sam’s own face was a rotting lemon. Dean’s hand stilled, mouth still open.

“Um,” he muttered.

Dean looked at the offending finger, uncertain of what to do next. He started to put the frosting back where it belonged, thought better of it, looked for a napkin, and reluctantly settled for ashamedly completing the crime by depositing the frosting in his mouth.

Which was a mistake. Because now he knew the cake was friggin’ delicious, and Dean seriously wondered if maybe Crowley could manage his little photo shoot even if there was a slice of the cake missing.

As if he could read his brother’s mind, Sam shook his head in the most supreme disappointment. “Dean.”

“What?! Sorry!”

Reminding himself that murdering one Winchester brother would only end with him being ganked by the other one – though there were certainly times it seemed worth it – Crowley took a deep inhalation, and let it go. Cakes were ultimately meant to be eaten, even if it was by inconsiderate louts and lumberjacks.

“I’ll accept your apology, if you cut everyone else a slice before digging in yourself. I’m sure one of the photos I took before your little indiscretion will suffice.”

“Alright! Cake!” Dean cheered, while Sam just closed his eyes.

Crowley thumbed through the multitude of pictures he’d taken, and settled on the most appealing of the lot. Then he opened up his Bumblr app, and made a new post:

@petrichoravellichor – in honor of your birthday today. Heard from a mutual that you have a particular fondness for red velvet cake. Hope it’s to your liking. – C

He sent the message and image off with a satisfied smile, then set about getting plates and forks, as this cake was obviously not going to survive the interest of the Winchester brothers much longer.

As Crowley was pulling plates out of the cupboard and Dean was cutting into the cake, Castiel wandered into the kitchen, attention entirely given over to his phone. The angel had graduated from texting and emojis to social media and memes, and sometimes he could be found scrolling through Twitter and Instagram with a rapt fascination that would out-fixate even the most plugged-in FOMO-obsessed teenager. There was a chiming sound as he entered the kitchen, as notification of a new post.

“Dude,” Dean was grinning from ear to ear, “Crowley made cake!” He pointed with delight at the dessert.

Cas looked up from his phone, saw the cake, and halted in the middle of the kitchen. He narrowed his eyes, examining the red velvet cake on the table in front of him. Then he looked back down at his phone in consternation. Cas looked at the cake again. Looked back at his phone, and then slowly, he looked at Crowley.

The demon looked from the angel to the cake, his eyes increasing in size as realization dawned.

“Is that – ?”

“Don’t you say one bloody word, angel!” Crowley blustered, a rush of red to his face further colored by the mortification of such abject exposure. “Not one word!”

And before anyone could say anything else, Crowley shoveled a huge slice of not-at-all birthday cake onto a plate, shoved it into Cas’ hand, and quickly excused himself from the kitchen.

“What,” Sam wondered to the startled room, “was that all about?”

Cas continued to stand in the middle of the room, cake in one hand and phone in the other, attempting to come to terms with having inadvertently discovered a fandom mutual was also a real-life friend, and the one he would have least expected. Unsettled, he took comfort in the certainty their shared mutual would appreciate the well wishes on their birthday.

Dean shrugged, merrily flipped the serving knife in his hand, then waved the tip at his brother. “That’s Crowley for you,” he observed, good mood undeterred. “Dude would cut out his own heart and blend it to make red cake batter before admitting to it, but deep down, he’s just a big ol’ teddy bear who wuvs hugs. Speaking of which – you see that giant pink moose Eileen sent you? Friggin’ adorable.”

Dean proceeded to cut a huge slice for himself, leaving a worried looking Sam staring down at the blood-red cake. Then the hunter stepped around a disconcerted Castiel, patting the angel on the shoulder, and strolled out of the kitchen.

***

Happy birthday, Petra! I’m sure you’re tired of your birthday comingling with Valentine’s Day, but when you said your cake preference was red velvet cake, what was I to do? ;)

If you’re wondering exactly why – or even how – Crowley became a member of the in-world spn fandom, you can find out here. This fic will be posted on AO3 in my Tumblr Ficlets after posting on Tumblr.

Image sources here: X

#crowley #spn ficlet #spn fandom #spn crack #spn fanfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #one of the boys #fandom life #happy birthday #to you! #this was so much fun to write #i *may* have passed along to Crowley #your cake preference #hope you have a great day!

[darkhymns-fic]

A Pair of Would-Be Pastry Chefs

Nothing is better than chocolate brownies - just the trick in making it was a bit of a challenge. But for Lloyd and Colette, little miracles can happen.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel, Noishe, Dirk Rating: G Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: This was a request fic done for Umbry on twitter! Also wanted to write a quick colloyd for today. Happy Valentine’s Day!

--

It was Genis who was usually the one making the desserts - so this was entirely new territory for the both of them.

"So is… this the right amount of flour?" Lloyd held out a wooden drinking mug full of the ingredient, practically near to overflowing. Much of it was already on his hands and cheeks, as if he had been recently standing under fresh snowfall. "It said to use a cup but we have a lot of different sized cups here…" Should he have used the smaller ones they had for tea?

Colette turned her head towards Lloyd, her hair tied up in a neat ponytail, though several strands were already loosening from its hold. "Ah, I think that should be okay, if we - uh oh!"

Unfortunately, she had been holding onto the bag of cocoa powder while they were talking.

Noishe was peering at the pair from outside, his head just poking past the front doorway, large ears flicking with each stumble they did throughout their attempt at baking. He whined, keen enough to grab Lloyd's attention as he helped Colette off the floor.

"Can't come in here, Noishe!" he warned. After all, chocolate was bad for dogs! Although Noishe only kept looking at them with worried eyes. But it wasn't like they were going to burn the kitchen down…

All they had really done was heat up the brick oven, and crack a total of one egg into a bowl to whisk with the other ingredients… But two of them, both cocoa powder and flour (Lloyd had to drop his maybe-a-cup to catch a falling Colette) were now spread out all over the floor. 

“Ah, I messed up again…” Colette looked down at her white apron where another third of the spilled cocoa powder had decided to decorate it in erratic patterns. 

“It’s okay! We still have half a bag left. That’s more than enough.” Lloyd blinked at his dropped cup, quickly retrieving it. “I probably should have used the clay ones anyway. They’re not as big.”

Colette sighed as she clutched at the half-empty bag, looking over at the table full of prep work. A quarter-full carton of eggs that Dirk had gotten from the store at Iselia the previous day, several bags full of sugar, brown sugar, as well as chocolate chips, and also a stick of butter that looked dangerously close to melting…

They had barely started on step one of making the red velvet brownies.

Lloyd guessed the source of Colette’s small pout, and quickly picked up the whisk that was meant for the later stirring, eyes going to the bowl that only had yellow yolk in it. “Don’t worry! We just gotta whip all of these together, right? Then we put it in the oven… Wait, when do we put on the frosting?”

“I’m not sure…” Colette admitted. “I was trying to follow Genis’ directions, but there was so much. Also I think I dropped the directions somewhere when I tripped earlier too.”

“Oh.” Lloyd shrugged, taking the bag of cocoa powder from Colette’s hands. “We can just wing it 

then! I kinda remember what Genis did for this...I think.” He was maybe about seventy percent confident on that front.

Both of them were wearing matching aprons that were a few sizes too wide (courtesy of Dirk, who was also lending his kitchen while he went out woodcutting), with the sleeves of their jackets pulled up to their elbows for better movement. There were a few mishaps with some dropped eggs, Colette nearly burning her fingers on a hot cooking tray which Lloyd helped treat quickly, and wondering where exactly the milk was after about twenty minutes of searching through an overstuffed icebox.

Then again, nobody said baking was going to be easy.

“Do you think… we should just buy the chocolate?” Colette suggested, a shy smile on her face. “I’ll just keep messing up…”

“Colette, it’s okay! I told you I wanted to make it with you. We just gotta take it one step at a time.” Lloyd grinned wide, going to the table and practically upturning the rest of the bag of cocoa straight into the bowl. The result was a cloud of chocolatey goodness rolling into the air around them. “Ack!”

Colette coughed as well, and by then Noishe had turned tail and left, as if the chocolate explosion had been another monster. But once the air cleared, Colette looked to Lloyd and started to snicker.

“W-What is it?” Lloyd said, followed by another cough leaving him as some particles of chocolate snuck into his throat.

“Your hair! It looks like chocolate frosting now!” Colette couldn’t stop giggling, looking at Lloyd’s spiky hair like it was the top of a scrumptious ice cream cone. The cocoa powder had given his hair a delicious texture. Even as Lloyd tried to brush it away, it only made his hair look more disheveled and adorable. 

“Sounds like you really want some chocolate if that’s the case,” Lloyd reasoned, hands on his hips. “Come on, let’s make the rest! I bet these will be even better than what Genis can come up with.”

“Hehe, you’re right!”

Of course, both didn’t totally believe that statement, but it was fun to dream. And it cheered up Colette instantaneously, letting her hands handle the butter, the chocolate chips, and even more of the eggs to be added to the bowl. But then they also had to boil up some hot water, grease up the cooking tray, and oh, where had they put the vanilla extract?

It was during all of this that Colette suddenly stopped in mid-motion to blink - and it was because Lloyd had plopped a dollop of their new thick chocolate mixture onto her nose with his whisk, making her blink. “Ah!”

“That’s payback for my hair!” Lloyd stated proudly.

“But Lloyd, you were the one who poured the powder like that to get it in your hair!”

“...Oh, right. Well, this is payback for laughing!” But he was chuckling just as much, and then quickly caught onto the bowl before it tumbled all their hard work on the floor.

Colette had caught it as well, their hands meeting, chocolate still on her face. “Let’s keep going!” Because she felt renewed excitement to try again, that and the oven behind her was getting hot. Dirk had warned them to not leave it on for too long… 

--

In all fairness, Dirk had half-expected to see a bit of smoke coming from within his home when he arrived. Lloyd and Colette were not exactly the most talented of pastry chefs, after all.

But after putting down the handles of his hand-drawn cart to the soil, the cut lumber within its confines, all that he was greeted with was the sight of a boy and girl, no worse for wear than typical chefs trapped all day within a hot kitchen, seated on the doorstep just outside. They were feeding each other what looked like blackened brownies, some of the chocolate chips on its very top falling to the ground. They looked as happy as children discovering their new favorite treats.

“And here I was being worried when Noishe ran up to me earlier,” he said. The named dog poked his head from out of the cart, his green fur an oddity among the different shades of brown. 

“Told you we’d make our chocolates okay!” Lloyd stated, still half-chewing it as he talked. “And it’s really good, too!”

“Maybe a little burnt though, hehe.” Colette’s hair was now half-untied, her hair also stained with flour and chocolate, but she opened her mouth as Lloyd plopped in another bite of brownie, playfulness in each of their motions. “But, I think it makes it taste better that way,” she said afterwards.

Dirk’s grin could be seen through his beard. “So, I take it that you two are enjoying your Valentine’s then?”

If it had been a few years earlier, before going on their journey together, there may have been a few embarrassed flushes and denials. But Lloyd was grinning wide, reaching to hold on tight to Colette’s hand, neither giving mind to the other’s chocolate-stained fingers. “Yeah, I think it’s been what we needed after everything.” The boy’s face was perfectly alight, the kind of radiance one only got when near something, or someone, precious. It was not a new expression either - it had always been there ever since him and Colette had first met. “Thanks for letting us make it here.”

“And we made some for you too, if you wanted!” Colette said, her smile matching Lloyd’s. It was an ecstatic smile, the kind he would see on her face as a young child, when his son would grab her hand in a game of hide-and-seek.

“You should remember that this is you two’s special day, not mine. But I won’t mind having a small bite later on.”

And as Dirk moved to retrieve the wood from the cart for the fireplace, he tried not to make it too obvious that he could still notice the two of them getting close, to see Lloyd lean in for a quick kiss, and see the flush rise in Colette’s cheeks to match with the red velvet layer of the brownie. Their laughter washed over him like a sun shower. It had really been too long since they had visited last, and was content that they could spend their holiday break here.

He also tried not to show too much outward worry for the smoke he could see building up in the room behind them, the doorway thankfully still open. Only a moment before Colette sensed it, turning around, and for Lloyd to jump up and hurry to get the water from the nearby well.

It didn’t really matter who left the oven on. Dirk had already prepared his home for such accidents long ago. Maybe next time I need to supervise, he thought. But once he had a taste of those chocolate chip brownies himself, long after they had grown cold, he thought he had never had something so sweet before.

It was no surprise. Lloyd and Colette could always make the greatest miracles happen when they were together.

#tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #colloyd #fanfiction #had the wrong link oops

[3ndangeredspecies]

you ever been sad? well my grandmother just died so heres the bombest ass brownies youve ever fucking heard of

341g chocolate (use like half and half cooking chocolate and eating chocolate. actually don't make these if you can't use cadbury's tbh)

290g butter

525g white sugar

75g brown sugar

6 eggs

vanilla (no more than 3tsp)

204g plain flour

tsp salt

92g cocoa powder

melt the chocolate and butter (you CAN use stork/margarine if you want but who would) together in a bowl in the microwave in 1 min intervals, stirring in between.

add the sugar to the chocolate n butter. NOT ALL AT ONCE YOULL FLOOD THE BOWL go gently. mix until its uhhh idfk the consistency of sugar in hot butter n chocolate? itll be a lil grainy.

wait a lil bit for it to cool but NOT go cold, you should be able to stick a (CLEAN SANITISED) finger in it and it not be too hot or cold. add your eggs one at a time and MIX in between.

set this egg/sugar/chocolate/butter goop aside while u measure out ur dry ingredients into 1 (one) MASSIVE bowl. sift them if u want idgaf.

bring back the wet ingredients. slowly add them to the dry bowl and mix with a spatula or a big ass spoon. keep going slowly adding and folding until it's smooth and dark and fully combined.

preheat ur oven NOW to 180°c/whatever the fuck Fahrenheit bc actually lining n getting the stuff into the tin takes enough time for ur oven to preheat.

line a brownie tin with greaseproof paper. idfk how big mine is but it basically overflows n its pretty big. if you own multiple brownie tins for some reason use the largest. like theres like 2 kilos of ingredients in this bitch come on. spoon the brownie batter into the tin and smooth the top w a spatula if you want.

bake for like 45-60 minutes. stab it with a fork at the 50 minute mark. it SHOULD come out MOIST with maybe some fudgy clumps on it. if it's still liquidy keep baking and checking in like 5 minute intervals.

serve with icecream and caramel sauce, or don't bc its bomb on its own too

#baking #cooking #brownies #brownie recipe #tw death mention

[coleisunderrated]

Cooking with Cole

Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m actually not one for this holiday but if it’s an excuse to indulge in some glaciershipping, I’d say bring it! I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it!

It’s the morning of Valentine’s Day and Cole was already panicking on this day of love. He was sure Zane already made him a cake because that’s how it’s been every year. A well-known fact to everyone in Ninjago was the buff guy’s love for cake and anything sweet. The even sweeter son of the famed inventor Dr. Julien was all too aware of this and whenever they got together, he would make a cake as gorgeous as it was delicious. Any cakes he make would put even the top patissiers to shame. Zane had done so much for Cole and what did he ever do in return?

A flashback of all the romantic moments he and Zane shared popped up. He loved seeing the way the wintry beauty smiled, how graceful he was when they danced together, and that voice. That velvety smooth voice that could put even the most talented singers to shame when they share a duet together. Zane did nothing but give yet Cole never really gave anything back.

Looking back on all this, Cole felt like a horrible boyfriend.

Maybe Zane deserves better than him...

‘No! I’ll make myself better! Someone he truly deserves!’ Cole couldn’t bear the thought of breaking up with his snow angel. Not only will he never find someone as amazing but Zane has done nothing to deserve the pain of heartbreak.

Then he realized the solution was in front of him the whole time. He looked back on all the cakes and other treats Zane made for him. He now wanted to return the favor and this was the perfect opportunity.

“That’s it! I’m gonna make a cake for Zane!” Cole’s declaration echoed in the otherwise empty house. With his father out of town, he had all the time in the world to brush up his culinary skills.

As if the timing wasn’t impeccable enough, he got a text message from Zane himself.

‘Cole, if it’s alright with you, I’m coming over to your house in the evening. I’m making something special for you and I hope you’ll like it.’

The muscular youth almost couldn’t handle how adorable his lover can get. He really wanted to surprise him and all he could text back was a simple ‘okay’ before prepping himself for the arduous task set before him. This was going to be a Valentine’s Day they’ll never forget...

...

Cole pretty much hit a brick wall the moment he entered the kitchen. He had a terrible track record when it comes to cooking. He can even turn the simple task of making toast into a bloodbath. He immediately worried and fretted over the terrible scenarios that could happen. He can see it now. The cake is a complete fail and Zane staring at it with sheer disgust then at him with pure hatred. And then his pale lips curl into a malicious smirk.

“Is that all you have to give?” The young man’s voice was as cruel as he was beautiful, “I don’t see why I should be stuck with someone as lowly as yourself. Because of that, I’m breaking up with you. I should be with someone who really treats me right and gives me nice things.”

“No! Zane! Don’t leave me!” Cole futilely begged.

But it was too late.

Zane already had his arms wrapped around Morro, who shot a cocky triumphant smirk at Cole. The muscular young man cried out to his traitorous lover but the couple already walked out of earshot.

“NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Cole found himself back at his house, relieved that Zane leaving him for Morro was nothing more than an elaborate fantasy. There’s no way he’s giving him up to some pretentious edgelord. He’s gonna bake the greatest cake ever and it’s all just for Zane.

...

Cole stared at the directions of a basic chocolate genoise recipe. Some of these phrases were confusing. How do eggs get white and fluffy? The recipe did recommend using a mixer and he luckily had one lying around in the kitchen. First, he had to get the eggs into the bowl. One would think having immense strength such as his would make it easy but maybe it was a little too much. By the time he had three eggs in the bowl, he already destroyed twice as many. He crushed most of the eggs in his hands and bits of shells mingled with the broken egg yolks in the bowl and egg whites ran down the sides from where he cracked them with too much force. It was surprisingly difficult to get the shell fragments out of the bowl with his large hands but in the end, he got them out for the most part. He added the sugar as the recipe said, and maybe a bit more so it can be just as sweet as Zane, and now it’s mixing time.

With the mixer plugged in, Cole looked at the dial, wondering if he should go on low or high. He wanted to get things done fast so might as well put it on high. The loud noise almost startled him but he watched and waited to see the eggs get ‘white and fluffy’. The eggs got paler and have thickened but Cole wasn’t sure if they can be considered as such. After watching the mixer go at it for what felt like forever, he gave up and decided to continue with what he got.

‘Dammit! I forgot to sift the dry ingredients whatever that means!’ Cole noticed he didn’t prepare the flour and cocoa powder beforehand, ‘But it’s not gonna change much. I can just dump them in right now.’ The dark-skinned novice chef added them in and put the mixer on high again. Flour and cocoa powder went everywhere. The flour-covered Cole had to switch the power to low and to his dismay, he could see lumps in the batter. He turned off the mixer and tried to fix it by hand. He stirred and stirred with a whisk but the lumps were still there. ‘Oh well. They’re really tiny. No harm in that.’

After that, he melted the butter and the directions said to mix a little bit of batter into it before adding it. It’s already gonna go into the cake so what’s the point in that? Cole shrugged and dumped it all in and whisked the batter. Now all that’s left is to actually bake the cake. Much to his dismay he also forgot to preheat the oven. The cake itself wasn’t even baked and it already felt like nothing was going right for him.

‘No! I’m not giving up! This is all for Zane!’ Cole already put so much effort into this cake and he won’t let it go to waste. He turned on the oven but while he was waiting, he made a disturbing discovery. The batter had separated for some reason.

‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Cole had no idea what he did wrong. He did just as the recipe said. Why is this happening? He tried stirring it and it seemed to do the trick. The oven finally reached the right temperature and after one final stir, Cole quickly poured the batter into the pan and left it in the oven to bake.

The cake was done once the latest episode of Hunted came to an end. Cole took the cake out of the oven and... was disappointed. The cake didn’t rise as much as it should have and was uneven. After it cooled, the strong guy had a hard time getting it out of the pan. In hindsight, he should’ve covered it with some parchment paper or greased it with cooking spray. The cake was stuck and he ran a knife along the sides and tried pulling it out by hand. It finally came out except chunks of the cake was still stuck to the pan. The cake looked really bad. Hopefully the ganache to frost the cake will hide its imperfections. All he had to do was melt the chocolate and cream together. Simple, right?

This is Cole who’s cooking. Of course it’s not gonna be as simple.

Cole wasn’t sure if the amount of cream the recipe called for will be enough. It seemed like so little compared to all the chocolate. ‘Some more wouldn’t hurt.’ Cole doubled the amount of cream and turned on the stove. He watched the cream warm up but it sure was taking its sweet time coming to a simmer, at least that’s what the recipe calls it.

‘Probably won’t hurt to check on my phone for a bit.’ Cole looked at his device to discover a new text from Kai.

The egomaniac bragged about all the things he’s doing with his boyfriend Jay and even posting a plethora of selfies. Cole felt a tinge of jealousy seeing how happy they were. He already had many happy moments with Zane but he felt like he was being left behind and when Kai’s sister Nya joined in with her two girlfriends Pixal and Skylor, it got even worse. He was almost jealous of Lloyd, who spends every Valentine’s Day buying a chocolate bar and eating it by himself. The green-eyed blonde seems to certainly enjoy being single. Cole was tempted to send some sort of reply but he didn’t want them to blab to Zane. The cake is supposed to be a surprise and nothing will stop him, not even the loud sizzling sounds and stench of something burning.

Burning...?

The cream was burning! Cole rushed in and almost got scalded by the bubbling liquid that almost touched his hand when he turned off the stove. After the bubbles died down, the burnt smell remained and the cream had almost evaporated. Luckily, he had more and just poured it in and the cold liquid made a scorching sound when it touched the pot. The intense heat could probably heat it up in an instant and he could save himself the work. He added it into the chocolate and then noticed the layer of burnt cream stuck to the bottom and cream in the bowl still carried a foul stench. Cole dismissed it as just the smell and the flavor won’t be affected.

Just as Cole feared, the hot cream alone wasn’t enough to melt the chocolate, even with twice the amount as the recipe said. No matter how much he stirred, there were still a bunch of lumps. He tried to fix it by heating it up in the microwave but nothing seems to be working out for him. He could hear something almost like an explosion go off in the microwave. With a speed that could match Jay’s, he took out the ganache (and almost burning himself again) and much to his horror, it was just as screwed as the cake. The recipe said the ganache was supposed to be smooth and shiny but the results of his attempt was dull, gritty, and sad. The chocolate kept separating and leaving ugly streaks in the mixture. Cole didn’t have enough ingredients to make another batch so he resigned himself to work with what he got.

Cole struggled to cut the cake in half but it was already so uneven. He couldn’t keep the knife straight and the cake kept crumbling. After getting two very sloppy layers, he finally noticed all the air pockets hidden within the cake. He grabbed some cake chunks that fell off and filled in the holes and tried spreading the ganache on the first layer. Something weird was going on with the chocolate. Thin liquid seeped from the grainy frosting and there was nothing he could do to remedy it. All he can do now is hope it won’t affect the cake too much and placed the next layer on top. Frosting a cake was clearly harder than it looks. He watched videos of cakes being frosted and he wished he had a turntable or an offset spatula. All he had was a plain kitchen knife and he struggled to frost all the sides and top.

Cole hoped frosting the cake will salvage it but somehow, it looked even worse. He looked through the recipe, hoping it could give him some hints to save it. All that was left was the final direction: decorate it however one likes. “Some help that turned out to be.” The buff man scoffed and looked at his sorry excuse for a cake, “I guess some decorations will make it a bit easier to look at...” Because the cake was for Zane, Cole wondered what kind of decorations Zane likes and what would suit him. The image of pure icy blue eyes stuck in his mind and he, more often than not, wore light colors. The first thing on his mind were something pastel-y. He looked through the cabinet for some pastel sprinkles or anything that says ‘Zane’. Unfortunately, the only kind of decorations he had was a pack of Halloween-themed sprinkles from a couple of years ago.

‘Should I even bother?’ Cole stared at the outdated sprinkles with dismay, ‘These stupid sprinkles don’t even match and the cake is too far gone...’ He looked at the disastrous confection again as if the pile of botched cake and ganache could provide any sort of answer to his dilemma. He wanted to quit while he still has some dignity left yet he his heart was telling him not to give up. He thought of the gifts he got in previous Valentine’s Days. He thought about Zane. He still feared his normally kind and patient boyfriend will dump him for Morro. He needed to make this cake look as good as it can possibly get. Without a second thought, he dumped the whole container of sprinkles onto the cake...

“Ah... The perfect cake for my Valentine...” Cole gazed at the beautiful finished cake...

...picture from the cookbook.

“Why doesn’t mine look like that!?” The dark-haired young man put down the book to gape at his hideous disaster of a homemade cake. The ganache was sloppy and separating and the sprinkles melted into the chocolate, creating a gross tie-dye effect and then there’s the messed up cake underneath it all. Cole wanted to do nothing more except cry over his failed efforts. He’ll surely lose Zane forever all because he wanted to return the love he had given him.

It’s too late to start over again. The sun was already starting to set and he could see a certain someone approaching the house from the window.

‘Crap!’ Cole didn’t even have time to wrap the cake or even put it in a box. He left it there and went to get changed. He scoured through his wardrobe to find the right outfit to impress Zane. He picked out yet another sleeveless shirt with a band logo and black pants. It wasn’t really formal but he was never one for those kind of clothes. He just wanted to wear something he really liked to make up for his awful time in the kitchen. The cheesy doorbell rang, notifying him that Zane was here. After a quick brush of his thick black locks, Cole went straight for the door. Taking a deep breath, Cole put on a debonair face and opened the door to welcome his lover.

Zane wore a simple yet elegant white shirt, khaki jeans, light blue vest and was holding something behind his back and Cole was pretty sure what it was. No matter what he wore or the circumstances, he always looked so breathtaking.

“Uh... Oh wow...” Cole was left tongue-tied at the sight of his beautiful boyfriend alone.

“I can tell you’re quite thrilled to see me.” Zane giggled at his lover’s flustered reaction. He couldn’t wait to show him what he made for this occasion.

“And I see you’ve got something for me.”

“Yes. I have made something special as promised to you.”

Zane took out the thing he hid behind his back and Cole was blown away just from the beautiful packaging. The heart-shaped container covered in pink wrapping with pretty heart patterns and a little Valentine card attached to it sat amidst a bed of white crinkle paper with a slight sheen in a clear plastic box that was tied up with a delicate red ribbon.

“Zane... I... Thank you...” Cole said out loud while he felt like he didn’t deserve such a lovely present and felt bad for even holding it. Then again, it’s been like this every year. He can keep his sorry attempt at baking a secret and things will go on as usual.

“I smell something coming from the kitchen...” Zane caught a whiff of a strange scent. His instincts to protect Cole went into overdrive and he sought to investigate.

‘Shit!’ Cole realized he completely forgot about the cake. There’s no way he’ll let Zane be a witness of something so unholy.

“Uh... n-no need to go in there! Hehe...” He blocked the entrance, slightly thankful for his musclebound build.

“Cole, is something wrong? You normally have no issue with me entering your kitchen.” Zane was still curious tried peeking over Cole’s shoulder.

“Nothing to see here! Why don’t we just go into the living room and watch some movies?” Cole still tried to distract him. As sweet as he is, Zane can be extremely persistent and unfortunately, now was one of those times.

“What is that?” Much to the larger man’s horror, his snow angel caught a glimpse of Ninjago’s cruelest mistake sitting on the kitchen table.

Cole saw the shocked and confused expression on his lover’s fair face. At that very second, the dam holding back the ugly truth broke down.

“Okay, fine! You want the truth?! I can’t cook!” Cole finally broke down, “I tried baking you a cake but no matter how hard I tried, it’s a disaster! If you’re gonna dump me right here and now, go ahead! Go out with Morro or whoever the hell you want! You deserve better!”

“What are you talking about...?” Zane didn’t expect his lover to react this way, especially not on this day dedicated to love.

Cole couldn’t bear to even look at Zane and curled up on the floor, hoping it would open up and swallow him whole. He truly wanted Zane to be happy and be with someone who can give treat him the way he should. Too bad that someone isn’t him.

“Cole, what happened? Please tell me.” Zane crouched down to his level. Again, he was being persistent. It would do him no good to argue back.

“You see... you’ve always made cakes and all kinds of good food for me and... I wanted to return the favor...” Cole sighed in defeat, still refusing to look at Zane.

“You made this... for me...?”

“I know what you’re thinking. You’re now wondering why you have to be stuck with a moron who can’t even bake a freakin’ cake. I won’t blame you if you break up with me. I’m just... I’m sorry I can’t be the person you deserve.”

“Cole...”

The buff man flinched when he felt a cool hand graze his cheek.

“Cole, look at me.” Zane’s voice was as smooth and calm as ever. Cole kept his earthy green eyes squeezed shut in fear of the disappointed look that is undoubtedly on his lover’s beautiful face. He jerked his head away but Zane caressed his chin. As scared as he was, Cole could never deny his lover whatever he wanted, even if it could put their relationship in jeopardy.

It was a struggle to open quivering eyelids and Cole was reward with not a scowl of disgust but a gentle serene face. Relief still hadn’t come to him and he had doubts it was genuine.

“Zane...?” A slight gasp escaped from Cole’s lips.

“I’m so grateful you wanted to do something special for me.” The slender beauty embraced his muscular boyfriend.

“Really? I mean, I... You don’t -”

“But...”

Cole should’ve known there was a catch. Even someone as kind and forgiving as Zane has his limits...

“Please don’t push yourself for my sake. You alone are the perfect gift.” Zane nuzzled the crook of his neck.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Yes. You are the one person who makes me feel like I can be me and allow me to experience feelings I’ve never felt with anyone else before. Being with you makes me feel... complete.”

“You... took the words right out of my mouth... because I feel the same with you. Even now, with you here, I don’t want to let you go. Zane, I love you.” Cole’s strong arms instinctively wrapped around Zane’s lithe frame despite his earlier fears.

“And I love you too. Nothing will ever change that.”

“Not even the cake?”

“Of course not.”

“So... wanna try it?”

“I think I’d prefer to live many more years with you.”

Cole let out a chuckle at one of the few instances his boyfriend’s sense of humor was on point.

“Would you like to see what I made for you?” Zane offered.

“Definitely. Now let’s go to the living so I can love you.” It was Zane’s turn to giggle at how affectionate the big guy can get and that’s what he loves about him.

No sooner had they sat on the couch did Cole carefully unwrap Zane’s gift. He was pleasantly surprised by a big chocolate heart decorated with cream, icing, and sprinkles with such detail and intricacy he wouldn’t be surprised if Zane took the time placing each little sprinkle onto the chocolate and with the icing, he even wrote ‘For My Love’ in fancy handwriting. Half of him wanted to dig right in while the other half didn’t want to mar such a lovely work of art.

“Go ahead. Please eat up.” Zane encouraged his first half that wanted to try it.

Cole didn’t hesitate to take a big bite out of the chocolate and was pleasantly surprised by what’s inside. The chocolate was filled with a mixture of soft chocolate cake and frosting like one giant cake pop and sandwiched in between was a layer of rich and smooth ganache that melted in his mouth. Even better was all the love and thought Zane put into it just like every other year. He almost gobbled up the whole thing had he not noticed Zane gazing at him the whole time with those mesmerizing crystalline eyes.

“Uh... why don’t you try some?” Cole offered what remained of his latest culinary masterpiece, “You made it yourself and as they say, you reap what you sow.”

“That’s quite alright. I made it just for you to enjoy. I’m simply happy that you like it.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to make something for you in return?”

“After seeing the... results of your efforts... simply buying something will be nice. Like I said, I wouldn’t want you to push yourself. I love you too much to allow you to do that.”

“Oh, so now it’s become a contest on who loves who more?” Cole jested.

“If you think you love me more, prove it.” Zane teased back, motioning with his finger for Cole to come closer.

“With pleasure!” Cole swooped down and pressed his lips against Zane’s, who was just as eager to return the favor and kissed back.

The chocolate was already very sweet but sharing a kiss with Zane will always be a million times sweeter.

#ninjago #glaciershipping #my writing #plasmashipping #polyponytails #kinda blizzardshipping #lloyd is me on v day

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

stuff i know about cooking

For baking - use butter for the oil and milk instead of water. Add vanilla, i don’t care if it doesn’t call for it.  Add. The. Vanilla. Add some cocoa powder if its brownies or cake or fudge or anything chocolate. (on that note, use semi sweet chocolate chips, not regular.)

Anything involving pasta - salt the water and add butter/olive oil before putting the noodles in. If you can, make your own sauce.

For spaghetti sauce? chop up a bunch of tomatoes doesn’t matter what kind, add a shit ton of basil (fresh if you can get it) and garlic and salt and pepper, put it in a pan with a little olive oil. boom, you have sauce.

For white sauce.. butter. garlic. in a pan. brown it. add a spoonful of flour until its lumpy. turn the heat down. pour your milk in and stir until the lumps melt and the liquid is getting thick. add a shit ton of parmesan. more parm that that. dont ever add mozzarella, it makes the texture all funky. put sliced mushrooms or green onion in with the garlic and butter, if you like that.

Anything that involves cheese, add some parmesan. And dont you dare buy the pre shredded stuff, get an actual block of parmesan, p l e a s e trust me its so worth it. Add cream cheese if you think you can get away with it.

For mac and cheese, use about 2 1/2 cups of dry noodles and enough water to cover them in the pot. cook the noodles. (add your butter and salt, also throw in some beef bouillon and garlic. When in doubt, bouillon and garlic are your friends.) boil covered until they’re almost done, then take off the lid until theyre done and theres not much water left. add more butter. add some cream. add a shit ton of cheddar cheese. add some parm. add black pepper and maybe more salt. add cooked ground beef if you have the incentive to make it before, if you didn’t its really good as it is.

For ramen, hard boil an egg in the water. ditch the flavor packet for beef buillion, and garlic and onion powder. if you want it to taste like actual asian food, add oyster sauce and a liiiiitle bit of sesame seed oil. add a pat of butter. take out the egg after 6-10 minutes, remove the shell, put it back in the broth. add some frozen shrimp. add your noodles. if you want, add frozen peas right before the noodles are done. if you dont want faux asian food, forget the sesame oil and oyster sauce, instead add leftover chicken if youve got it, lemon pepper seasoning (beware its mostly salt), lots of black pepper, a little extra butter and garlic, and only use chicken bouillon. once its done, add a dollop of sour cream on top.

For eggs, add cheese+salt+pepper+garlic. The more you beat them, the fluffier they are. Add cheese after its mostly cooked, if you do it while it cooks it just sticks to the pan. If you want to make it more portable, pour the egg into the pan with some butter. dont touch it, wait until it bubbles, then place a tortilla on top. kinda gently press down on it so it sticks. wait a little bit, then flip it and add cheese. then fold. slice it up and eat it with sour cream or ranch, you’ve got yourself a breakfast quesadilla

For pancakes...i’m sorry, i dont know why i suck at making pancakes, i always have, its a curse BUT! thats ok bc i can teach you the art of french toast.. 2-3 eggs, milk, vanilla, cinnamon. in a bowl, mix it. add some ginger/nutmeg/allspice along with the cinnamon if you wanna be fancy. have your bread on your far left, then the bowl of goop super close to the pan to avoid dripping, then an empty plate to the right of the pan. turn on the heat, once you add some butter and it kinda foams, its hot enough. QUICKLY dip a piece of bread in the egg stuff, once on each side. plop it in the pan. it will make big scary noise, don’t be afraid wait about a minute, flip it over. once its done, add another piece of butter. turn down the heat and repeat the process, you will need less butter and less heat as time progresses. the longer the bread soaks in the egg, the more soggy it will be. you dont want that. serve it with butter and enough brown sugar to make your teeth cringe just looking at it. throw some strawberries on that bitch for pizzazz. (also when you clean out the pan if its still hot it make Big Scary Sound when you put cold water on it. this is normal its just physics doin its thing)

TL;DR: when in doubt, garlic. bouillon. parmesan. butter. vanilla. cocoa powder. brown sugar. google how to make pancakes because i truly cannot help you

#food #recipies #charlie is long winded #french toast #ramen #mac n cheese #spaghetti #pasta #cheese #cheat day #how to cook #easy recipies #cheap food #cooking lesson

[vdwlkr]

happy as a sand boy

fill for @missscatter​‘s Miraith prompt list :) 

Summary: There are a lot of weird ways to spend early morning on New Dawn. Mirage just never thought catching Wraith baking will be among them. 

–

“What are you doing?”

She jumped, and Mirage winced at a loud metal clatter followed by a splat ringing across the empty kitchen. Wraith stood in front of the counter frozen, staring at whatever horror became of his interruption.

Part of him wanted to apologize immediately because what the heck? Did that just happen? Did he just surprise Wraith-could-avoid-sniper-bullets-from-three-hundred-meters-away? The other part of him wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation because, well, maybe he’s still asleep? It is 4 in the morning after all, and that seemed to be the best explanation of what just happened—

Until he spotted a ladle flying towards him, instinctively making him duck and bump his head directly into the island table in front of him.

“Ow!”

“You deserved that.”

“No, I didn’t. Thought you heard me, I said your name twice coming in.”

The glare she’s giving him turned deadly at his answer, but she’d look more terrifying if she wasn’t…you know, red from her cheeks to the tip of her ears, dark sweater covered in flour and batter and smelling distinctively cocoa.

He rubbed his palm against his forehead, taking a quick survey across the assortment of used pots, pans, and trays before it clicks.

“You’re baking.”

The disbelief made her lips curl into a grimace. “What of it?”

“I—wh—uh—you’re actually baking?”

“No, Mirage, I’m mixing eggs and flour and hoping it suddenly turns edible.” She crossed her arms, stance guarded but there is apprehension in her eyes.

“Do you have a cooked batch? Can I have some?”

“No.”

“No you don’t have any, or no I can’t?”

“Look,” Exasperated she began, “I know you think you’re funny and I admit it has its moments, but I have to get this done perfectly in about—” her eyes darted at the wall clock above the kitchen door heading to the Mess Hall, “—an hour or so.”

Mirage shrugged, “So let me help.”

“What?” Her brows furrowed, apprehension giving away to suspicion. “Why?”

“This seems important.“ He dropped his palms on the table and nodded, “So I wanna help.”

She’s considering it. He can see the gears in her mind twist and turn, eyes shooting between the spilled batter on the counter and the mess she’s made on the table.

“Alright.”

Still he blinked in surprise. “Really?”

“Yes.” She turned her head away, picking up and handing him a piece of paper from the other end of the island table. “Here.”

The paper had Lifeline’s unruly handwriting all over it, mixed with what must be Wattson’s from several French words crossed over and replaced with common. It’s a list of ingredients and instructions, the margins doodled over by design.

“Mirage?”

“Yeah?” He answered automatically, looking back up and finding her holding a clean mixing bowl and a measuring cup. “Right. You need flour. A cup and three-quarters.”

–

It’s amusing to watch Wraith focus on something other than lining up her shot. Her eyes still narrow, jaw still clenching, but this time, it’s over trying to perfect adding sifted ingredients on a mixture of butter, eggs, and sugar. Cocoa follows shortly after, and he inhaled the wafting scent as she began mixing the batter with a spatula.

"Stop staring.”

“Can’t help it. I didn’t know you had hands.”

He grinned toothily at the exasperation on her face, tapping her spatula against the tip of the bowl before mixing it again. He turned back to his share of work, stirring the pot of several melting chunks of butter over low heat.

“You’re walking around thinking I had no hands?”

“How was I supposed to know whether or not you had robotic ones?” He muttered with a shrug.

Wraith raised an eyebrow, lips quirking into a smirk, “Is that you finally admitting I have a better aim?”

“Ha, no.” He turned on his heels, pointing his spatula towards her direction. “Definitely not. Did you even see the leaderboards Wraith? I had the highest damage last Game.”

“And I was the kill leader.”

“Only because you’re great at stealing kills.”

“I was securing them. Maybe we should have a spar later just to see which one is th—stop eating the chocolates!”

Wraith lunged at the bowl he raised above his head, “I only took one!”

“One plus two others.” She hopped, actually just hopped to reach the bowl he’s now standing on the tip of his toe for, and his mind went what the fuck. He let her have it because that was fucking cute, watching her pour all of it and leave the container on the table. “Don’t let it burn.”

“Aye, aye.” He does, mixing the fudge thoroughly.

“So, did you have a bad dream again?”

The suddenness of the question sent a jolt through his stomach.

“W-what? Of course nn—of course—"

Mirage sighed, his shoulders dropping.

If there is one curious thing about their relationship, it’s exactly this: she has always been good at stripping away who Mirage is. Mirage would never walk into a kitchen and offer to help anything. Mirage would quip something borderline insulting, have her rolling her eyes or telling him to leave. But as cliché as it sounded, he…never really felt the need to pretend when it’s around her. He could act as silly or as fucking stupid as he wanted, and she still looked at him the same.

“Yeah.”

She nodded, “What was it about?”

He stared at her incredulously, “You’re seriously interested?”

“Only if you want to talk about it.”

“Well, I mean, it’s not that bad of a dream.” He rubbed a finger against his cheeks, observing Wraith pour the cake batter into a square pan and slide the container into the oven. “Just an uncomf—uncomfie one.”

“Was it about being unable to find your comb?”

He shrugged a shoulder, “Couldn’t find my styling cream actually. Dreamt I had to go into the ring with my hair like a bird nest.”

She snorted. “The horror.”

“You’re saying that now but you got shot in my dream cause of laughing too hard.”

Wraith does chuckle at that, “Is that your diabolical plan on taking the Apex Predator title?”

“Maybe.” Mirage grinned back. He added milk, brown sugar, and vanilla essence to the pot as Lifeline and Wattson’s instructions dictated, transferring it into a bowl and popping it into the refrigerator. “Wraith?”

“Hm?”

“Something happened to you. In my dream.” Leaning an arm against the counter, he half turned to her, “I dreamt we were back in King’s Canyon when the Repulsor broke. Everyone had to work together to get to the Airbase. It was insane, honestly. Bangalore and Lifeline had this rivalry thing going on, Bloodhound held six prowlers with no bullets just an axe, and Caustic helped defend the drop ship.”

“Caustic helped?”

“Yeah, I know. Should’ve been a warning sign I was dreaming. But before we could leave the island….“ He exhaled evenly, "I didn’t see you but—but I heard about it. From Gibraltar and Lifeline. They said your heart stopped.”

"Oh, so I died.”

“Wow.” He drew his head back, apalled at her nonchalance. “That’s it? That’s all the fucks I get from you?”

Wraith set down the paper sack of flour, keeping her hands behind as she walked towards him. “People die all the time Mirage, it’s not a big deal.”

“Well, it’s a big deal to me.” He couldn’t help the sudden surge of irritation. “Everything felt and looked real. I thought you would underst—”

She threw a handful of flour at him.

Mirage blinked in surprise, lips slowly falling open. It took him another second before he could comprehend that yeah, Wraith just did that. A glance at the silverware to his side showed half of his face covered in white, most importantly—

“My hair!”

Wraith snickered, “Really? That’s the first thing you think about?”

He narrowed her eyes at her and she quickly grabbed the ammunition off the table, holding the sack at her side even spilling some of it off her sweater and pants. “I don’t think so.”

But Mirage has always been a resourceful man.

Instead, he reached for the sink and pulled the wash hose off its place, pointing it at her with a hand on the switch. A cheshire grin broke slowly across his face at Wraith’s look of realization.

“Don’t you dare!”

“No, no, you see this?” He gestured to the powder covering his hair. “This is a declara—dec—delcra—war. This means war.”

“Hah. I don’t know, grey hair looks good on you,” She grinned, “old man.”

“W-what did you just call—oh game on.” He sprayed on her with a jerk on the knob, but she’s expecting it, diving quickly off view.

He grabbed an empty pot and left the faucet open, just as Wraith peeked from the other side of the table throwing another handful. He dodges barely, snatching the cocoa powder from the corner of her eye.

“We can still drink that.” She called from the other side of the table.

He turned off the faucet and placed the bowl on the middle, discreetly returning the cocoa because yeah he does want some hot chocolate later. “Should’ve thought of that before ruining my hair, sweetheart.”

“Will saying sorry make everything better?”

“Let me think,” He hummed theatrically, “Nah.”

With a flick of his fingers he toppled the bowl over, water quickly spilling to the other side—

“Hey!” Wraith yelped, jumping away.

It’s the perfect opportunity to make a break for the flour, when all of a sudden Wraith slipped. He automatically reached out to help her and he would have laughed about it, had she not used his momentum against him and brought him with her to the floor.

They landed with a grunt from Wraith, bearing the brunt of the force.

“Shit, are you okay?”

Her lids cracked open, bright ocean eyes peeking mischievously. She suddenly ran her hands on his cheeks, hair, grinning wolfishly when his eyes widened in realization.

“You sneaky little—”

Instead of bothering to push her away, he reached for the sack she had dropped, dipping both his hands and smearing the same streak across her face, neck, hair and—and she was laughing, bright and warm and carefree, the sound of it making home in his chest. It made him stop to listen because holy shit he caused that. He’s the reason for that.

Wraith caught his wrist and pinned it to his other side, locking a leg around her own and pushed him off with her core strength until she’s the one on top, watching him mutter a soft, “Unf.”

Another chuckle escaped her lip, “Sorry.”

“Are you?”

“No.”

He chuckled at her answer, then at her appearance, dark sweater now completely smudged, “I see grey hair looks good on you too, grandma.”

Wraith slid off him and rolled her eyes half heartedly, taking the half undone bun off, letting her hair cascade down her back on soft waves.

Mirage can only stare.

She’s beautiful—he’s always known that—and while he thought she’s just as breath taking with her hair neatly pinned as it is curling wildly around her powdered face, there’s just something so intimate about her allowing him this.

He wanted to kiss her

And though he knows she returns the feelings to an extent, he has no idea if quite they’re there yet, so he mustered the urge and let it go.

“You’re staring again.” She said.

The only thing he could say in reply is, “I can’t help it.”

–

prompts finish here, but there’s a couple of more words right here :)

#apex legends #miraith #mirage #wraith #apex mirage #apex wraith #fanfic #spilled ink

[thelioncourts]

story: liminal fandom: captive prince - c.s. pacat pairing: damen/laurent rating: general words: 2883 summary: curtain rods, boxer briefs, family favorite recipes, The Princess Bride, and weighted worries all find a place at 2 a.m.; or, a simple story of domesticity and being there to bake a cake at the oddest of hours.

The first crash didn’t wake Damen up, but the second one had him jolting like he’d been electrocuted. He jolted so violently that he sent his pillow tumbling over the side of the bed. That hardly mattered at this moment, however, especially not when his hand that had instinctively reached out for the warm body always next to his own felt only cold sheets and tangled blankets.

He rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to adjust to the darkness when the third crash, this one the loudest, echoed eerily throughout the house. Adrenaline pushed him to stand and caution kept him from calling out for Laurent even though desperation told him to.

Silently hoping his bare feet would be as quiet as possible on the hardwood floor, Damen tiptoed around the perimeter of the bedroom, searching for something that could constitute as a weapon. When his fingers encircled something metal and cylindrical, he simply went with it and continued his trek until he was at the door.

The hallway light wasn’t on, but the kitchen light was. Damen could see shadows dancing along the dining room walls. Outside the bedroom, it was easier to hear the other sounds, the quieter ones, that had accompanied the crashes. There was a shuffling sound interspersed with the opening and closing of cabinet doors and drawers. Damen edged closer and closer until he was at the corner where the hallway opened to the kitchen. He steeled himself, took several slow and deep breaths, counted to three, and jumped around the corner with his weapon wielded like a sword.

He screamed at the same time Laurent screamed. They drowned out the shattering of the bowl that had been in Laurent’s hands.

[Continue on AO3]

“What are you doing?” Damen yelled.

“What are you doing trying to hit me with a curtain rod?” Laurent yelled back.

“I heard crashing,” Damen justified after a beat of silence. He lowered the curtain rod slowly.

“And you assumed it was an intruder as opposed to the other person that lives in the house?” Laurent asked in the same tone as his first question.

“You could have been kidnapped,” Damen said. Laurent rolled his eyes and bent down to start extracting the largest pieces of broken glass from the pile on the floor. Damen bent down with the intention to join him. “You could have been held hostage,” he tried again.

“My knight in shining armor.”

Laurent was already standing and moving to the trashcan to dump the shards into. After that, he disappeared only for a moment as he went to fish out the broom from their supply closet. His momentary absence gave Damen time to look around.

The countertops looked like a war zone. Mixing bowls and spices and a variety of pans littered the space that was dusted in a light coating of loose flour. The refrigerator door was cracked open the tiniest bit from the carton of eggs. Cupcake liners appeared to have exploded in a mess of white and yellow paper all from where they stored the handheld mixer. When Laurent came back, still focused on cleaning up the glass, it gave Damen time to look at him as well.

It appeared as though Laurent was wearing Damen’s old Akielon Lions practice jersey and nothing more. Knowing Laurent as well as he did, Damen knew that underneath that was most definitely Laurent’s favorite pair of shorts that he had owned since being fifteen. Though the expanse of his legs was distracting, Damen was more drawn to the frazzled look behind his eyes and the windswept appearance of his blond hair. He must have been running his hands through it.

“I’m aware that I may have jumped to some drastic conclusions,” Damen started, and Laurent threw him a look, “but I have to ask: what are you doing?”

“Baking a cake,” Laurent answered. The rhythmic swish swish swish of the broom against the floor matched the steady rate of Damen’s heart.

“It’s two in the morning.”

“I know that.”

After sweeping the tinier bits of glass and clinging dirt into a neat pile, Laurent gathered it all in their tiny handheld dustpan before tossing it in the trashcan with the larger shards of the once-bowl. Then, as though nothing had happened, he went back to baking his cake.

He wasn’t very far in the process, Damen observed. A good handful of the ingredients were out already, but he hadn’t yet preheated the oven, let alone actually started to mix the batter together or grease the cake pans.

There were plenty of questions swirling in Damen’s mind as he watched Laurent level off the first cup of cake flour and empty it into their largest mixing bowl. But one look at the tense lines of Laurent’s shoulders had him postponing them...for right now, anyway. Instead, he walked over to the counter and leaned a hip against it

“What kind of cake are you making?” he asked. His voice was quieter than it had been since he awoke.

“Red velvet,” Laurent said.

Ah, Damen thought to himself, it was one of those nights.

“Can I help?” Damen asked in the same quiet voice and he kept his gaze steadily on Laurent’s profile. He watched as Laurent’s eyes flicked toward him for the briefest of seconds before turning their focus back to leveling off the third, and final, cup of flour.

“Sure,” Laurent said. “You can turn the oven to three-fifty and cut this stick of butter into cubes.”

Damen began to do as he was bid. The buttons on the oven beeped a high-pitched sound as he pressed them to the needed setting. There was a perfectly ready stick of butter at the top of the door in the refrigerator and he grabbed it alongside a cutting board to get to work. They worked in silence for a few minutes. Laurent was measuring out the sugar, cocoa powder, and baking soda and Damen’s knife was hitting the cutting board mutedly.

Without a word, Laurent started to toss some of the cubes of butter into the dry ingredients. The loud whirring of the handheld mixer rang out loudly as he beat everything together until it represented a bowl of coarse crumbs. Damen waited until Laurent was mixing the wet ingredients together to speak again.

“You’re probably freezing, Laurent,” Damen said. “You’re always cold in the morning.”

“Is it technically considered morning if the sun isn’t due for another four hours?” Laurent asked rhetorically. “I hadn’t noticed the cold. This must be what it’s like for you.” The look he threw, both appraising and judgemental at once, at Damen’s boxer-brief clad body was impossible to miss.

Damen’s grin was deep as he responded, “I’ve always told you, there’s something freeing about walking around your own pace in as little as possible.”

“Yes, well, you’re lucky we’re only baking something as opposed to frying it.”

The handheld mixer was back on and this time Damen watched as the tan colored mix quickly turned a deep red as the wet ingredients were poured into the dry ones. Laurent mixed it until it was free of any clumped pieces and he eased the machine setting down until the beaters came to a complete stop. Silently, Laurent offered Damen one batter-dripping beater.

Moving to the side so Laurent could momentarily claim the counter space all to himself once more, Damen watched him while curling his tongue around the thin rods to lick at all the red. It was hypnotic in a methodical way, watching Laurent scrape down the sides of the bowl with the silicone spatula before carefully pouring half of the batter into one of the greased and floured pans. When both pans were filled halfway, Laurent took them to the oven and placed them on the first rack. They were layered to fit both on the same level; one toward the back left corner and the other at the upper right one.

Damen was going to start the conversation again. He had a sentence all thought up and everything, but when Laurent turned around and his face transformed from its solemn lines into that soft and private smile, Damen forgot his words. They completely melted away when Laurent walked up to him, toe to toe, and gently thumbed away the red clinging to the corner of Damen’s mouth.

“How is it you always do this?” Laurent asked him.

“Hey, I’ll have you know that those beaters are almost impossible to do anything with gracefully. I think they were invented with the sole intention of making dessert-eager people look the tiniest bit unhinged.”

Laurent made a noncommittal hum, but he was still smiling and that made Damen feel better.

Cleaning up really wasn’t as difficult as it appeared it would be. Damen set forth putting away everything that belonged in a cabinet or the refrigerator. Meanwhile, Laurent got to washing the mixing bowl for the batter, the mixing bowl that the wet ingredients had been in, the spatula, and the twin beaters which now both already appeared “clean” thanks to Damen.

When everything was delicately placed on the dish drying rack, Damen waited to see what Laurent would do next. He made no reaction when Laurent sank to the floor and stretched his long legs out.

“Are you going to join me?” Laurent asked him, patting at the empty space of floor next to him. Then he shifted his position ever so slightly, just so that when Damen sat it wouldn’t have to be against a cabinet with a bunch of knobs and handles.

The cakes still had twenty-two minutes and they would need to cool before they were ready for the cream cheese icing that had been sitting out to get to room temperature. Damen eased himself down next to Laurent.

“So,” Damen started, “red velvet, huh?”

“It’s one of those nights,” Laurent answered with Damen’s earlier thought. Damen’s shirt was even shorter on Laurent when he was sitting down. “I remember once, when I was eight, maybe nine, I woke up like you did tonight. I heard these sounds coming from the kitchen and I snuck down the staircase to find my mother and Auguste in the kitchen. Auguste was rambling about school and about our father’s unrealistic expectations for him and mother was baking him his favorite cake.”

Damen listened, but allowed his hand to dance across Laurent’s bare thigh until his fingers could curl around Laurent’s own fingers. Laurent squeezed his hand once.

“When mother got sick, I wanted to learn how to make the cake so Auguste could always have it when he was feeling down.” Laurent laughed a hollow sound. “I only got to make it once for him before….”

“I bet it meant everything to him,” Damen filled the silence with his sincerity.

“The cakes got stuck to the pans,” Laurent said. “I had sprayed them with cooking spray, but I hadn’t known that it would be better greased and floured. Auguste probably missed our mother more than ever with my shoddy excuse for baking.”

There was nothing to say to that. Damen wrapped his arm around Laurent’s shoulders and pulled him in tight instead. Laurent’s ear found the space above Damen’s heart.

“Is this about Nicaise?” Damen asked, but he already knew the answer was yes.

When the letter had arrived in their mailbox on Monday morning, Damen had known it would lead to something like this. It wasn’t everyday that you were subpoenaed to testify on behalf of your abusive uncle in a custody case for your cousin. Laurent nodded mutely against Damen’s shoulder.

“He’s going to end up in my uncle’s household with every material thing his tiny heart could ever desire, but the remainder of his innocence beaten away from him. Or he’s going to end up in a group home with little to nothing to his name until he eventually ages out of the system all alone. There’s no winning for him here and yet he’s going to testify that he wants to go with my uncle. And I can’t blame him. He doesn’t know.”

“You’re very sweet,” Damen said after a moment’s silence. “But sometimes I wish you would worry about yourself more than others.”

“Nicaise is all the family I have left,” Laurent said. The admission was raw.

“Oh, that’s not true. You’ve got me.”

He could feel Laurent’s mouth turn into a smile.

“And your multitude of crazy relatives?” Laurent asked, and Damen could hear that smile in his voice.

“Yes, and them. Especially my uncle. You know Uncle Mak thinks of you as the son he never had.”

Laurent didn’t move his head from Damen’s chest and Damen didn’t say another word until the oven began to beep. It took a moment for Laurent to react to the noise and stand, and Damen stayed sitting. He watched, a small and private smile of his own on his face, as Laurent opened the open door, checked the center of the cakes, and gently pulled them out with the white oven mitts. Then he came back.

“Would you call me an optimistic idiot if I told you that I believe everything is going to be okay?” Damen asked him.

“Nothing my uncle is near ever turns out okay,” Laurent said as opposed to answering.

“You turned out more than okay,” Damen said with an intensity betraying the odd atmosphere of being up at, now, three in the morning. He turned his body to face Laurent head on and didn’t allow the passion of his feelings to dim at the sight of Laurent’s open and taken aback facial expression. “It’s crazy to me that you don’t see what I see.”

“I think you’re a bit biased,” Laurent said. He was smiling again though.

Damen leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. “You leave me breathless,” he whispered.

Kissing was the most natural thing then. It was soft yet unyielding, like the stillness of the night outside, and Damen smiled into it when he felt Laurent’s shuddering breath against his lips.

“We should definitely eat cake now if we’re planning on getting any sleep before sunrise,” Damen said, regaining his voice first.

“I long gave up on sleeping tonight,” Laurent admitted, but he was standing reaching for the softened cream cheese. “You should go try to get some rest though.” He was talking as he threw all the ingredients into one of the bowls, his voice as soft as it had been earlier. “Thank you for getting up for me. Thank you for talking. I’m sorry I took away your sleep.”

Damen’s arms hooked through Laurent’s own, ceasing his movements, as he wrapped his arms tightly around Laurent’s waist. Laurent immediately leaned back into the touch.

“You know you don’t have to thank me or apologize. Especially not for something like this. We’re a team, you and I. Isn’t that what you told me when I was waking you up at all hours of the night trying to deal with the situation with my brother?”

“I suppose,” Laurent didn’t sound convinced. “Though I can’t recall you doing anything as odd as waking up to bake a cake at an ungodly hour like this one.”

“No, but I did make you watch The Princess Bride with me three times in a row in one night.”

“We should do that again,” Laurent said. His hands had snuck out of the trap of Damen’s arms and were stroking at the soft skin on the back of Damen’s hands instead.

“You did say you had given up on sleep for the night,” Damen trailed.

And that is how they somehow ended up on the sofa at almost four in the morning, eating too big of pieces of red velvet cake and watching as Princess Buttercup threw herself into the gorge after her beloved Westley.

“We should take a slice to Nicaise tomorrow,” Damen whispered minutes later as Westley was taken to the Pit of Despair. Laurent’s head was back on his shoulder and their feet were tangled on the foot rest of the sofa.

Laurent hummed sleepily and placed a barely-there kiss at the hollow of Damen’s throat.

“We should. We could even take him out for dinner afterward.”

“Dessert then dinner?” Damen smiled and placed his own barely-there kiss on Laurent’s temple.

“Dessert then dinner then dessert again,” Laurent yawned. “It’s the only way to do it.”

“As you wish.”

Laurent laughed.

At six, they both jolted awake to a crash as the curtain rod, placed against the hallway wall hours earlier, fell over in a clatter of metal.  The only things chirping outside were still just the crickets.  Damen tried to stretch out the crick in his neck.  Laurent, meanwhile, seemed unaffected by the crash and immediately fell back into soft-breathing slumber.  

The first peek of the sun and the shifting of time made Damen grateful for many things.  He thought of those things as he carried Laurent back to the comfort of their own bed.  

But mostly, he realized as he pulled the blankets over both of their bodies, he was grateful for red velvet cake at 2 A.M.  

Laurent, still asleep, seemed to agree.  He made a quiet sound as he snuggled in closer.  

#captive prince #captive prince fan fic #damen of akielos #laurent of vere #capri #my writing

[rcris123]

“Can we make cake? I like cake.”

Lazy Sunday mornings;now that’s something he ain’t thought he’s ever gonna get. Certainly not as acriminal; maybe even less as a detective. And with all that STEM business...

But somehow here they were, thetwo of ‘em stretched out on the couch in Sebastian’s apartment. He feelslike he’s more resemblin’ a cat than a human, simply lounging around with noother care in the world only to then lazily shut eyes and let the sun bathe thebody in its rays. And all that with Sebastian on top of him, soft under touch -man looked like he was sleeping.

But then comes a humfrom him:

“Can you bake?“

“Hm?“

“I mean, can we make acake?...”

A scratch of the chinwith the hand not holding Sebastian: “Guess if we run and buy one? Or like, theingredients...” And still he gotta giggle: “Why cake all of a sudden, buck?”

“I like sweets. Wannaknow how to make them. With you.”

Sebastian gets up, butnot before a quick peck on his lips that makes him sit up slowly just as theman draws ever leisurely away. What a goddamn tease.

“I’m gonna look up arecipe.” It’s still somewhat weird hearing that whiskey drowned voice ofSebastian’s talk with a similar lingo to his own, yet it makes him feelin’ likethey belonged there, in that moment.

“Sure.”

They’re going to bakethemselves a cake – and he’s sure to put cream on Sebastian’s nose. Just ‘causehe’s feelin’ particularly silly today and worth makin’ it sweet. With him. It’sall worth it; or at least feels like it and more than that he can’t ask.

Down the stairs, intothe car, phone in hand discussing the utensils they have or lack, what they’dbe needin’. Then buyin’ it all. And raspberries, two of the biggest packs theycould find. Sebastian was beaming seeing them on the shelf, plopping them inthe cart. Arthur can tell there was an idea cookin in that brain of his and heguessed he knew exactly what that was.

Raspberry chocolatecake. A small one.

Dry ingredients in:flour and baking powder and cocoa and sugar, then wet: eggs and milk, extracts.Sebastian does the folding – he insisted. And hands work quick, effortlessly.Arthur can only sit and watch, hand on hips, grin on his face, so goddamn proudof his partner. What a man, deserving of some tender kissing. A peck on the cheek.

And another when themixture is poured into the baking trays and into the oven.

There’s their time oftenderness. Sebastian spins him round, leans him against the table, there’sstill chocolate on the corner of his nose. But it’s the lips he kisses. Theytaste like batter, sweet and creamy. He plays with them within his own, suckinthem between his teeth with a lil’ bite there. It grants him a chuckle fromSebastian and a hungry mouth to devour his own, tongue upon tongue. And maybethey sat like that for quite some time. The cake ain’t gonna be done for thenext ten minutes.

Ten minutes of themenjoying the serenity of nothing but each other’s company. And the frosting.They need to make frosting. Butter, sugar, chocolate. Some chocolate chunksthrown in for good measure. And maybe the skies of Krimson City are just asgrey as they ever were, dull light pouring in from outside, but to Arthur thismoment felt basked in sunlight.

A quick look at a watchgifted to him for his birthday just this year – should be time to take the tinsout.

A toothpick goes in tocheck for consistency; nothing sticks. All done. Too hot. One more kiss. A fewmore, until it cools. There’s flour on his shirt, it dusts out when bodies comein contact.

Once cooled down Sebastianplops dollops of frosting on the halved cake, decorating it with raspberriesall around. Arthur’s at the stole melting some dark chocolate with some butter –glaze.

“Make sure to savesome for the toppin’.” And there he comes with the hot chocolate glaze justafter Sebastian put the other half of the cake on top to pour it.

“Now that’s lookinglike a cake.” Sebastian sounds so proud of his creation and he damn well hasall the right to be.

Arthur puts thesaucepan back on the stove – gonna get cleaned later. Now he gotta look forsomething real quick. On to the fridge.

Sebastian peeks aroundthe corner wondering what he’s doing for a moment:

“Just a moment, buck!”for he now returns victoriously with some mint they tried keeping fresh. It’slookin a bit dull but sits nicely on top of the nicely arranged raspberries.

“Now, that’s acake.”

Sebastian laughs.What? This one’s lovin’ his mint.

#sebthur #arthur morgan #sebastian castellanos #writing #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #authorified