#its beyond embarrassing its like i literally need to die before i ever say how i really think about it

[caffeinatedopossum]

Vibrating with suicidal urges right now

#i hate the things that make me upset so much #like why is this such a big deal to me!! #its beyond embarrassing its like i literally need to die before i ever say how i really think about it #i feel like no one understands and im too scared of them misunderstanding to try #why am i like this

[iambilliejeanok]

Omg can I plz plz plzzzz get a Dom!Kisame x Sub!Fem!reader? Where the reader and Kisame are constantly bickering back and forth and don’t like each other but one day an argument they have leads into some rough sex? I hope this makes sense. I really enjoy your writing by the way!!

I like this one. I like it alot. 😏thank you anon💜

Warnings: 18+. Unedited. NSFW. Language, slight overstimulation and violence.

“Not today Kisame! I’ve had enough stinky!”, you yelled, irritated beyond belief at the mere sight of the shark boy, let alone the mean words coming out of his fowl mouth. You huffed, crossing your arms and cocking your hip in a way that Kisame admired. He didn’t like that he thought you were very attractive and sought to squash any and every thought he had about you by being mean. “Get yourself together y/n”, he spoke in a very demeaning way, despite the fact that he was clearly aggravating you with his patronizing taunts. “I thought you could handle a little criticism. You’re weak and you ought to train a little more to at least compensate for your failures y/n”. That was it. He reached the boiling point. Why would he say that considering the fact that you were alone, on a mission to capture the four tails. Unlike like you, everyone else had a partner to help them succeed. The four tails was strong, forcing you to back out of the fight before you’d needlessly hurt yourself. Your taijutsu was neat, but you lacked the physical strength to inflict any serious harm, your strength being the ability to absorb chakra and return it to the user in five fold. Also that you were abnormally intelligent, making you a crucial member of the akatsuki as you played a role in managing the group, sometimes helping pick out the right teams for the right tasks. And your main focus was to collect information about the jinchuriki to share with Pein, who would use that information to select an actual team to hunt down the host. Kisame was happy you failed. There was just something about seeing you so miserable that he couldn’t help but take pleasure in. “Are you gonna let him talk to you like that y/n?”, Hidan deviously questioned, successfully riling you up. You literally pounced on him, not caring that you were in the midst of all the other members, taking him down by complete surprise. You both fell to the ground with a loud thud, Kisame completely taking the hit as you landed on top of him. He was rather stunned that you were able to easily take him down. “Yes y/n, get him!” Hidan cheered, enjoying the view of your ass as you hovered above your new opponent, earning himself a glare from Kakuzu. You certainly weren’t tiny. You were packing in all the right places, standing at 5’8, your curvy body showing in all its glory because your clothes burnt off in certain areas after escaping the four tails brutal lava release, making you look all the more fucking sexy to the swordsman, as well as every other member in the room. But even then, he was way too big and bulky for you to manage bringing him down to the ground in a spilt second all by yourself. You brought your fist up, ready to wipe away that smug look on his face with a nice and hard blow, infuriated at how he calmly waited for you to hit. Your fist connected with his cheek, Kisame quickly flipping you over so he was now on top of you, blood dripping out his nose and falling on your cheek as he easily pinned your wrists on either side of your head, his solid, muscly frame dominantly hovering above you. “Are you trying to kill yourself?”, he growled, angered by how you took him down in front of everyone, but also more than happy to fight you, to see what you’re really capable of. You brought your knee up between his legs, a loud grunt leaving his mouth as you landed a hard blow on his crotch. You used the opportunity to head butt him hard before flipping him over so you were right back on top of him. He was obviously holding back, but today you were in the mood to really fight. “Enough!”. You both snapped your heads in the direction of the familiar voice. Pein looked down at both of you, his purple eyes piercing your own, his expression stoic as always. You quickly got off of Kisame, dusting yourself off as you walked off to your room. He really underestimated you, but next time Pein wasn’t around, you would certainly give him a big taste of the strength he didn’t know you had.

The next morning you felt somewhat better, dragging yourself out of bed to start your day with the rest of the miserable human beings in the hideout. You finished up your breakfast, washing only your dishes, drying them and packing them away, growling at anyone who dared to near you with their dirty dishes. You would die before you washed somebody else’s dishes in this hideout. No one was worthy. Except maybe Itachi. You dried your hands off, walking back to your room to meditate, shower and change before you’d go out and train a little. Not because Kisame said so, you reminded yourself, now debating whether or not you should train, so Kisame wouldn’t think you were training because of his rude remark last night. You walked with your eyes glued to the floor, not watching where you were going as you sped walked the rest of the way in deep thought. You bumped into something hard, the impact throwing you off balance, causing you to stumble backwards and land hard on your bottom. “Ow!” , you whined, looking up to see Kisame. He didn’t have his cloak on, just a skin tight black turtle neck shirt with a pair of black pants. Barefoot. The shirt he wore hugged his muscular chest in such a sinful way. His beefy arms flexing as he gazed at you. This might of been the first time you’d seen him without a cloak. He wasn’t just a big shark. He was a tall, muscular, sexy shark. He reached down to grab your arm, pulling you up a little too fast, causing you to stumble once again, but this time, he held you until you were able to stand on your own. You were pretty much gawking at this point, gulping away your arousal as you immediately looked at the ground, embarrassed that he caught you. “Watch where you’re going little girl”, he said, ignoring how cute you looked still dressed in your pijamas. The pink, spaghetti strap shirt hugging your ample bosom, your nipples confidently introducing themselves through the thin cotton material. The shirt ended just beneath your natural waist, revealing your pierced belly button and a whole lot of smooth skin before your navy blue with white polka dots pants took over, a drawstring keeping them around your hips as they draped all the way down to your ankles, folded twice so you wouldn’t step on them. You both stood in the middle of the long passage, awkward silence surrounding the two of you as you shyly checked each other out. “If you were watching where you were going you wouldn’t of let me walk right into you”, you started, trying to distract yourself from the 6’4 hunk of sexiness standing in front of you. Quickly overcoming your shame you looked up at him, clearing your throat as his eyes were glued to your chest for a good few seconds before he lift them up to look at your face. Unlike you he wasn’t embarrassed at all, his eyes continuing their journey down your body as he nonchalantly replied, “Yeah whatever little girl, I don’t have time for this today”. Your eye twitched. “I’m not a little girl”, you spoke, trying to stay as nonchalant as he was. “Is that so?”, he challenged. “Yes. I’m much more than you could ever handle Kisame. But anyways, I’m not going to to stand here and argue with an angry fish, so bye”, you retorted, starting to walk past him and to your room. His large hand found your neck, causing you to stumble as he dragged you back in front of him, pushing you against the wall all in one swift movement. You gasped out as your back hit the wall, knocking a little air out of your restricted windpipe. Kisame eyes met yours, his teeth showing in his devious smile. He didn’t know whether to laugh at your confidence or respond to your smart remarks. Whatever it was he was feeling made his dick twitch. If only you weren’t so damn cute gasping for air in his hold he would’ve ignored you and continued on about his day. But today he reached his limit. He was going to teach you a very good lesson.

He leaned forward to whisper in your ear, “Much more than I could ever handle?”, he questioned. “Are you sure about that little girl?”. At that he let go of you, watching you greedily suck in air before easily picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. You blushed at how strong he was. “I’m guessing you don’t know how to be gentle”, you remarked, only further triggering his irritation. “For once you’re actually right about me. I do not know how to be gentle and I hope you learn from this”, he responded. You could hear the seriousness in his tone, hoping he meant to do what you thought he was going to do and not actually kill you this morning. Uncertainty travelled through your veins, making you nervous as you tightened your grip on his shirt, trying to keep your balance. His arm sat between your thighs, the grip on your upper thigh just below your ass the only support you had on his shoulder. You were genuinely concerned. Trying to think of a plan to escape or fight back if you needed to. He entered a room, shutting the door behind him. A few steps later he threw you onto his unmade bed. You could smell his musky scent all around you, spiking up your arousal as you sat up on your elbows, looking around you before concluding you were in fact, in his room. You looked up at him, gulping away your nerves as he lifted his shirt over his head. Holy fuck. At this point his sexiness would surely kill you before he got the chance to. You could only watch him in silence, as he crawled onto the bed, slowly making his way to you, like an animal sneaking up on it’s prey, forcing you to lie on your back. He spread your legs open to settle between them. You felt so little beneath him, actually nervous about what was currently taking place. Kisame stopped just above you, sensing your nerves building up. “Where did the cocky girl run off to?”, he chuckled. You felt rather embarrassed that he was right, all your confidence left your body when he threw you onto his bed, suggesting that he was going to fuck you. As aware as you were you couldn’t find any words to retort. A smile appearing on his face, showing his sharp white teeth as he waited for a reaction. “Did you forget how to talk?”, he asked, before planting a small kiss on your soft lips. He pulled away, looking at your face before coming back down to plant another kiss in the crook of your neck. You lifted your chin up to give him more access. His hand rubbed your thigh, slowly coming up to your hips, then your waist, your abdomen and finally your breasts, not ceasing the kisses that slowly turned into sucks and bites, his sharp teeth piercing your skin, making you moan out before his tongue lapped at the blood, soothing the pain he caused you. His big hand squeezed your boob, causing him to groan at the feel of the soft mound. His fingers pinched your nipple hard enough that you squealed. “Answer me y/n”, his tone serious as he continued his attack on your neck. You complied, “Yes I can talk, I’m just a little surprised”. You figured you should be honest about how you felt right now. He ceased his marking, coming up to look at your face. “I hate to admit it but I find myself very attracted to you, annoying as you are. Right now though, I want nothing more than to fuck you, hard and fast”, he confessed, emphasizing his last words with a buck of his hips, grinding into you, smiling at the way you bit your lip, trying to stifle a moan. “I’m sure I can handle you just right”, he continued, deciding to slowly roll his hips into yours, roughly dry humping you. “I’m just not sure if you could keep up”. At that you snapped your eyes open, a small moan escaping your lips as his erection rubbed your lady parts just the right way. “I can keep up Kisame. You’re not all that”, you quickly retorted. Kisame chuckled, watching you slightly squirm beneath him, enjoying the way he rubbed against you.

His lips smashed into yours in a bruising kiss, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, making you squeal in delight. His hands immediately worked on undressing you, quickly pulling your shirt over your head and dragging your pants off along with your underwear. In less than a minute you were bare beneath him, your legs spread out as he pressed kisses onto your inner thighs, slowly nearing your wet and aching heat. You brought a finger to your mouth, bracing yourself for what was to come. Kisame looked up at you, waiting for a thumbs up. You looked back into his eyes, whining as you bucked your hips up. Without further ado he drove right in, greedily lapping up your juices, spreading your lips apart before sucking on your throbbing nub, forcing you into a fit of long, breathy moans. You buried your hand into his hair, the other tugging on one of your nipples as you neared an intense orgasm. His large hands kept your thighs spread apart for him, purple nails digging into them as he ferociously ate you out. His mouth found your clit once again, sucking hard on it, the pleasure almost painful as you screamed out in ecstasy. You legs shook in his hold, juices spilling everywhere as he kept at it, making sure you let it all out before he pulled away from you. He got off of the bed, watching you squirm around in pleasure as he pulled his pants off, his boxers following, revealing his thick, long, glorious member. He crawled right back on the bed, flipping you over so you were on your tummy. “I’m sure you feel just as good as you taste sweet girl”, he teased, watching your fat ass jiggle as he slapped it, hard enough to pull out rough moans from you. He snaked his arm under your chest, wrapping his hand around your neck, your breasts snuggling his forearm. “Kisame!”, you moaned out, desperate to feel him inside of you. “What is it?”, he asked, biting his lip as he rubbed his dick along your slick folds, lubricating it and stimulating you at the same time. “Oooh please!”, you moaned, pushing your ass back against him. “You’re going to be begging me to stop soon little girl. Be patient”, he reprimanded, focusing on lubricating his dick in your juices, making you whine out in sweet frustration. Your legs were tucked underneath his own, your thighs pressed together, waiting for him to fuck you.

After what felt like forever he finally pushed the tip into you, slowly stretching you out. He watched you barely manage to take him, squirming beneath him as he sunk into your tight cunt. He couldn’t hold back a moan of his own, sinking his sharp teeth into the back of your neck as he pushed himself all the way into you, your tight pussy snugly swallowing him in. “Kisame! Fuck!”, you moaned out in pain and pleasure as he lapped up the blood dripping from your new wound. He didn’t give you anytime to adjust to the overwhelming stretch. “Mmm fuck! Here we go baby”. He immediately set to a fast and hard pace, his strong hips pushing you up the bed with every thrust, his hand on your neck keeping you in place as he pounded you into the sheets. You couldn’t speak, struggling to catch your breath as your screams took over. His dick was so big, hitting a spot inside of you that made you wonder if he was actually trying to kill you with pleasure. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, drool falling down your chin as he roughly fucked you. Your whole body was now violently convulsing beneath him and you hadn’t even reached your climax yet. Heavy pants fell from Kisame’s mouth as he brutally fucked you, enjoying the way your tight pussy threatened to milk him dry. “You feel way too fucking good baby. Come now”, he spoke through gritted teeth, the demand in your ear sending you over the edge as you came hard. All you could do was scream as the pleasure brutally consumed you, leaving you a complete mess as your grip on the sheets failed to anchor you through this one. Your walls clenched hard around him and he couldn’t hold back, grunting your name out in your ear as he came after you. It took everything in him to not bite you again as his orgasm ripped right through him. Sparing your skin from any more nasty marks.

His weight on top of you crushed you but also anchored you as you both rode your orgasms out. He calming himself before did, pulling you into him as he rolled onto his back. “That was quite intense. Are you okay?”, he asked, holding you tight against him as he kissed your face. His hands ran along your back, to help sooth you down, your whimpers muffled into his chest as you gradually caught your breath. “Y/n, are you okay? Answer me”, he asked again, slightly worried that he might of been a little too rough. He was sure it wasn’t your first time, considering how well you took him when he sunk into you. Maybe he was way too rough. He panicked, slightly tugging your head back to see your face. “Y/n. Answer me”. “K-Kisame. I’m f-fine”, you tiredly whimpered, snuggling into him to find sleep. He finally breathed out, kissing your forehead in relief. So this was all it took to get you to behave? He was hoping you’d be open to doing this again sometime soon, letting sleep take over as he relaxed onto the bed, feeling very satisfied with how things turned out.

#kisame #kisame x reader #kisame smut #kisame x y/n #kisame hoshigaki #nsft post

[jisungsplatforms]

Sunflower

Pairing: Lee Felix x gn! reader

Genre: angst, fluff; Hanahaki au, college au, non idol au, (mutual) pining

Warnings: language, tiny tiny spoilers & allusions to some of my other fics if you squint hard enough. Some elements of Seungmin x reader (platonic), passing out in school, idk what else really, i guess getting caught making out by a doctor?

Note: this does NOT portray Stray Kids’ true personalities. This is all purely FICTIONAL

(Page III)

Sunflower:

“Tall, cheery flowers that symbolizes

adoration, loyalty and longevity

These charming beauties are know for being the “happiest” flowers in the world.”

Lee Felix.

If anyone could describe the guy, they’d say he’s sweet, bubbly, cute, fun, laid back. The type of guy who’d treat you like you’re royalty, but won’t hesitate to scold you if necessary. The guy you’d rely on when you need a shoulder to cry on. The guy who’d go through the ends of the earth to make you happy. The guy who could light up a building with just his smile.

But to you. You would describe him as:

The stunningly beautiful man who sits beside you in class every single day whom you’ve had a crush on for the past two years, whose presence always makes your day when you see him and would kill to be the reason of his insanely cute smiles and want nothing more than for him to be yours and vise versa.

Okay, yeah, a little lengthy, but you get the jist.

You sighed, turning to face the window a table away from you. Outside, you can already see the field of flowers nearby the classroom (courtesy of the environmentalist club at your school). Looking at the sea of colorful beauties always made you feel at peace inside, especially the tall sunflowers that had its own little field that you absolutely adored.

“Hey, Y/n?”

Speaking of sunflowers.

You turned your head to look straight into Felix’s glimmering doe eyes. You felt your heartbeat race when he gave you an adorably tiny grin.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask, and your answer, by the way, will affect our friendship okay?” he trailed off, putting his phone down beside him. Your eyes widened at his choice of words. Is this it? This is it. OMG. THE Lee Felix is asking me out on a date! you thought giddily, already planning out your “date” in your head. “This is a question I’ve wanted to ask you for a while so,” Felix let out a little sigh, making your heart pound in anticipation, before continuing, “are you a pineapple pizza hater?”

...What?

Your shoulders were slumped in disappointment but was quickly replaced in confusion once you let your mind dwell on the question he asked you. “Huh? What? How does this affect our friendship?”

“Come on, just answer! I gotta know!”

You huffed out a small giggle, turning to face him even more. But before you could reply to his silliness, the bell rang.

“Oh! Wait, nevermind, looks like I gotta go now, Y,n,” he said as he packed his stuff into his bag. “I needa run home first then meet up with you and Seungmin later. I’ll see you then, yeah? Just answer my question later.”

“Uh...Yup! We’ll talk more later,” you said, starting to pack up your own things, “See you!”

“Bye bye!” Felix gave you a cute smile as he waved goodbye.

“I’m pathetic.”

You let out a despondent sigh, your body hunched over the coffee shop’s table while Seungmin quietly consoled you as he pitifully strokes your back.

“I mean, granted, you wouldn’t be so mopey if you, i don’t know, ask him out instead?” he said, not even looking up from his phone. You shot your head up to look at him in disbelief.

“And risk ruining my friendship with the greatest person who has ever lived? No thank you.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes and finally looked at you. “Don’t be so dramatic, you big baby. It won’t be the end of the world if you rejects your offer.”

You snarled at him. “Maybe not YOUR world, mine, however, would literally be decimated into little particles of dust, Seungmin dear.” You smacked your forehead back down to the table after your little personal dramatic monologue.

He shook his head in disapproval, clicking his tongue. “Sheesh. Drama queen,” he muttered to himself.

“I heard that, you jerk.”

“Good. ‘Cause it’s true. You need to suck it up and ask the ‘love of your life’ out on a date or so help me, I will drive you both to the middle of nowhere so you can sort out your feelings for each other.”

You moved your head again to face him with a pout. “And you say I’m the drama queen.” Seungmin only huffed in annoyance.

“Do something about it, or I will, Y/n. I’m serious!”

“Okay! Okay!” you said defeatedly. “I’ll get to it. Don’t worry.”

“You better,” he said, sternly, pointing his finger at you like how a mother would scold their child. His next sentence, though, you couldn’t quite catch. “I’m sick and tired of counseling you both like love sick puppies.”

You sigh for the umpteenth time today, slumping on your chair. The dainty bell handing on the entrance jingled, indicating a new customer. From your right, you could hear a cute but deep giggle. Then felt warm hands on each of your shoulders

“Aww, why’s my little cutie so pouty now?”

You did a literal double take hearing Felix call you ‘cute’, face heating up as you looked up at him. Seungmin gave you both the look before composing himself.

“What took you so long, Lix?” Seungmin questioned the blond. Felix pulled out a chair beside you to sit.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said, rubbing his nape, “Had to help mum out with something. It’s nothing bad though, don’t worry about it.”

“Hmm. If you say so,” you replied, “Let’s just work on some assignments, yeah?”

Several hours later, it was starting to get dark, so the three of you called it a night. You all gathered up your things as you talked.

“Oh, by the way, I might not be able to meet up with you guys tomorrow,” Seungmin announced. “Might be busy. Just to let you know.”

Felix was the first to reply. “Mhmm, that’s fine. We’ll just see you at school.”

“Yup.”

The three of you left the coffee shop, giving each other a quick ‘goodbye’. You and Felix walk in the same direction while Seungmin goes the opposite way. The two of you walked in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. You hummed a little tune amidst your walk home. You didn’t notice the adoring smile Felix was giving you.

“You have a beautiful voice,” he whispered. You glanced at him before turning your head down, feeling yourself get flustered.

“Thank you,” you responded, “you know, you have quite a beautiful voice too, Lix.”

Felix could feel the butterflies swarming in his stomach at your compliment. “No, no. It’s not the best, but thank you!”

You turned your head to face him again, a little shocked that he would doubt himself. “You serious? Dude, you have like this rich, deep ass voice when you talk but when you sing? It's like...”

Felix waited for you to find the right words to describe him.

“... I don’t really know how to describe it with just words but it's the best thing I’ve ever heard with my own ears! It’s like being blessed by god himself when I hear you. I could lose myself just listening to you sing.”

He was taken aback. Singing was something he was shy about, so hearing how much you love his own made his heart flutter. He smiled so widely, his eyes turned into little crescents.

“Thank you, Y/n,” Felix giggled. Hearing that, you felt yourself get embarrassed, realizing how you got a little carried away.

“You’re welcome.”

You didn’t even notice that you were already at your house. Dejectedly, you turned to bid Felix goodbye, even though you didn’t want to.

“Bye, Y/n! See you in our ‘date’ tomorrow!” he laughed half-jokingly. Only then did you realize that it was just going to be you and Felix tomorrow. You froze, a little panicked.

“Uh- yeah! See ya’!” you said hurriedly, making a beeline to the inside of your house. Once you made it to the door, you turned your body in a 60° angle to wave goodbye, to which he returned. You stumbled with your keys for a while before finally unlocking the door. You swear you could hear Felix chuckling at your blunder. You gave him an awkward smile before slamming the door shut.

You threw your bag onto the floor, sighing as you slid down the door. You held your forehead in embarrassment. “What is wrong with me?”

It was now after your last class for the day. You made your way to the coffee shop you, Seungmin, and Felixi usually go to do homework. You were beyond nervous. It was just going to be you and Felix, aka the love of your life, on a little table together for the next 3-4 hours.

Damn you, Seungmin, you cursed inwardly.

Speaking of Seungmin, you could see his figure two stores down from where you were supposed to meet up. You hurriedly jogged up to him to talk.

“Hey, Min! Kim Seungmin!”

He turned around at the sound of your voice.

“Hi, Y/n,” he greeted, “aren’t you supposed to be with Lix right now?”

“I’m on my way there now.” Looking at his hands, you noticed the small bouquet of Chrysanthemums in them. “Ooh...Who’s that for?” you asked like the nosy person you are.

Seungmin glanced down before looking at you a little awkwardly. “It’s, uhm, for my dead friend.”

You widen your eyes in shock. “Oh my gosh. I am so sorry!”

“No, no. It’s fine. You didn’t know. It’s okay, really!”

“I still feel bad though...”

“Hey. I told you, it’s okay. It’s no big deal.”

You hummed awkwardly, not knowing what to say other than apologizing. Somewhere in your mind, you really wanted to ask what happened to his friend, but decided not to in fear of offending him in any way. However, Seungmin seemed to read you. “Hey, Y/n, have you heard of the Hanahaki Disease?”

You looked in confusion. “Hantahapki? What’s that?”

“Hanahaki. It’s this disease you get from unrequited love that makes you cough a crap ton of flowers until you die.”

“Ohh man. That sounds terrible.”

“It is. That’s actually how my, uh, friend died.”

“Oh, Seungmin…”

Seeing your closest friend so upset made your heart ache. You stepped closer to him, being mindful of the bouquet, to give him a hug. Seungmin sighed in content, returning the hug. “Thanks. I need that,” he said quickly, burying his face to your shoulder.

“Of course, Min. You’re always there for me, let me return the favor, even if it’s just a hug.” You could feel Seungmin tightening his hold on you. He whispered a quiet “thank you” before letting go.

“Now go to your date with lover boy,” he said, smiling, “don’t keep him waiting. Nevermind me.”

You chuckled as well, waving goodbye. “Yeah, yeah. Bye, Seung!”

You walked a couple more steps til you arrived at your destination. Inside, you could already see Felix inside on his phone. You stepped inside, greeting the barista as you went in, walking to where Felix was. You dropped your bag in front of him, startling him a little.

“Hey,” you greeted with a smile.

“Hey,” He gave you a sweet smile.

You slid inside your side of the booth and got started on your work. For the first two hours, the two of you talked and talked. At one point, Felix mentioned the sunflowers that you both always see outside the window of your only shared class. Your eyes lit up.

“Oh my god. I LOVE them so much!” you gushed. “They’re so lovely and bright and tall too, like how the heck are they so tall? Honestly, how could you not love sunflowers!” Remembering a small little trivia about them, you beamed. “Did you know that sunflowers are known as the happiest flowers in the world? That’s why they’re the perfect gifts to give to friends!”

“Ohh really now?” Felix chuckled at your enthusiasm.

“Man, I have to thank my friend for convincing her club’s president to plant them! Seeing them everyday is, like, the one of the only reasons why I come to class everyday.”

He giggled at the dreamy look on your face. “I really like you, Y/n,” he said adoringly. “You should see how cute you look right now.”

Your heart swelled in delight. You were in such a shock, you didn’t know how to react. Your palms felt sweaty on your lap. However, your glee was shattered into a million pieces by his next sentence.

“I’m so glad to have you as a friend!” Felix adds.

A friend. What a terrible title it was.

Even though you were heartbroken to the core, you still didn’t show it on your face. Instead, you gave him the biggest, yet fakest, smile you could muster, ignoring the heaviness in your chest.

“I’m glad that we’re friends too, Felix,” you lied, voice nearly cracking at the word ‘friends’. Felix gave you a small smile before going back on his phone. In that moment, you really wished you didn’t see the familiar name that plagued his notifications. You could hear the keys on his phone clicking as he texted someone in the background, but that could be barely heard over the sound of your heart shattering.

If someone could hear your thoughts, they would say that you were being over dramatic, but you would beg to differ. Felix was the first guy you’ve ever had a crush on. Sure, you’ve found people attractive before, but no one has ever made your heart flutter the way this sweetheart of a man does. In the middle of your thoughts, Felix called out your name.

“Y/n? Hey, Y/n?”

“Hm, wha-?” you said, kind of in a daze.

“Sorry, I have to cut our session short. Something kinda came up.”

“Oh...Oh sorry. Uh, go ahead, I’ll just stay behind to work on a little more work.”

“You sure?” he looked at you worryingly. He tried reaching over to touch your hand, but you dodged it stealthily. Your hands swiftly went back to your laptop to type.

“Yeah. It’s okay. Go for it.”

His worried stare lingered a little longer than expected before he slowly packed his things. “Thanks,” he murmured. He slid out of his booth once he was finished, grabbing his phone on the table. “Bye, Y/n,” he said quietly with a strained smile, one you didn’t notice since you were trying your best to not look at him in fear of breaking down.

“Bye,” you said, flatly. You listened to his footsteps get quieter as he left the shop. Only when you heard the bell on the door jingle, indicating that he left, did you let out your emotions. You smacked your head onto the table and let your tears fall. Pathetic, so pathetic, you thought. You tried your best to cry silently, out of respect for the other customers in the shop and your dignity. It was a little embarrassing that you were crying in a public area, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be care about it.

The pressure in your chest was getting heavier and heavier. Thinking it was just a mere cough wanting to make its way out of your esophagus, you let yourself do so, angling your head away from the outside. The pressure, however, was heavier than you expected, so you continued hacking your lungs out. Forcing yourself to stop, you slowly lifted your head to drink your water to relieve your now sore throat. Through blurry eyes, you could see several yellow petals underneath you.

Are those...sunflower petals? you panicked, seeing how there weren’t any sunflowers, real or fake, in the coffee shop. Your eyes widened when you remembered your conversation with Seungmin a few hours ago.

Shit…

“What do you mean you got the Hanahaki Disease?!” Seungmin exclaimed. He stared with eyes so wide, you were afraid that they might pop out of his sockets. You almost wanted to laugh hearing him so surprised if the situation wasn’t so grim. You fiddled with your fingers, nervous to meet your other friend’s eyes. Taking a deep breath, you looked to see Seungmin’s horrified expression.

“I-I don’t know how! It just- I just started coughing out sunflower petals after he told me how happy he was that we are friends!”

Seungmin’s look of shock instantly changed into one of pity. “Oh...So he rejected you, huh?”

You nodded slowly, mumbling, “Yeah. Indirectly...” Seungmin hummed sadly, scooting closer to you to side hug you.

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he murmured, rubbing your arm. You leaned your head onto his shoulder, pouting. “But, maybe you still have a chance? You did say indirectly so maybe he still doesn’t know that you like him and might change his answer.”

“Yeah, sure. As if the sunflower petals coming out of my mouth isn’t a clear indication of Felix not returning my feelings isn’t obvious enough.”

“Hey! Anything could happen!”

“I guess...I just...I don’t know. I can’t really think straight right now,” you groaned, moving your head from Seungmin’s shoulder to his lap. He leans back onto the couch, relaxing his back against his couch.

“I told you, Y/n. Anything could happen. It won’t hurt to try, right?” he said, patting your head.

“I guess,” you pouted, sighing as you closed your eyes to relax. “Love sucks, doesn’t it, Min?”

Seungmin laughed through his nose, a tiny grin playing on his lips. “I wouldn’t say it sucks, per say, but yeah. It’s hard, isn’t it?”

“Sometimes I wish that I can’t love anymore, you know? So I don’t have to go through the pain of heartbreak ever again,” you paused before continuing. “I’ve done a little research before you came but, it said that I can actually achieve that if I surgically remove the disease from me.”

The room stayed quiet for a while before you continued. “Maybe... I should do it.” Even through closed eyes, you could tell Seungmin was taken aback by your words. He stopped rubbing your head, his whole body stiff. “Min?” you whispered, opening your eyes to see the look of disappointment on his face.

“Don’t say that, Y/n. Ever,” he sighed as he sat up on the couch, urging you to sit up too. “I know you’re hurting. Trust me. I’ve been through it too. But this isn’t something you should decide on the whim.”

He grabbed your shoulders, a little tighter than anticipated. “Talk to Lix first before you make your final decision. Don’t make this one of the things that you’ll end up regretting.”

You look down, biting your lip to control the frown that was threatening to show. You knew, deep down, that he said this as your friend; as someone who wants the best for you, but your emotionally unstable mind warped it to say otherwise. You rolled your eyes, clicking your tongue. “What do you know? You’ve never been in love before.”

Seungmin’s eyes widened. He was upset that you’d say such a thing to him. Being the rational person he is, he knew that you just said that out of despair, but it still hurt him nonetheless. He let go of your shoulders, moving them to his lap instead. Looking up to see his sad face was the exact moment you realized you messed up.

“Min, I-”

He cut you off by standing up, brushing off your hand that was about to touch his arm. Silently, he walked out of the living room, grabbing his coat.

You felt a wave of panic within your body. “Hey, Seungmin! I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“You didn’t mean it, I know, Y/n,” he replied coldly, his back still facing you. “I know you’re just upset right now, and I forgive you for that.”

Seungmin sighed, turning only his face to look at you. “But that doesn’t give you any right to be rude to me, to any one, actually. I just wanted you to think about it more. As someone who has experience.”

Your shoulders slumped, only realizing now the real reason why he was so hurt by you. “I’m...so sorry, Seungmin. I forgot. I- That was insensitive of me. I really didn’t…”

He finally turned his whole body around, the weak smile he was giving you fed your guilt even more. “I told you, I forgive you, Y/n.” Without another word, he opened your front door to let himself out. He tells you one last thing before shutting the door. “Just promise me that you’ll talk to him before you do anything stupid, okay?”

You slumped further into the couch in shame. You couldn't bring yourself to cry like you wanted to, the day being emotionally draining for you to handle. “I promise,” you whisper to yourself. You closed your eyes, opting to fall asleep on the couch for tonight.

You rubbed your hands together as you walked aimlessly on the streets. After locking yourself in your dark house the whole day, you went out into the busy, afternoon streets to treat yourself. You were feeling a bit cranky seeing how you haven’t eaten anything yet, but not knowing what you wanted to eat. You let yourself wander a little more until you remembered something Felix had mentioned to you yesterday.

“There’s a new café that opened just last week. We should go there together soon!”

You walk into the direction of the café, wanting a “preview” of the food there. Arriving there, you note the pastel colors painted the walls, instead of the boring browns and greys most cafés are. You peeked through the window, debating whether you should wait for the other two boys or not. Looking around, you note a familiar mop of blond strands hunched over another figure on the other side of the shop.

Your heart dropped when you recognized the yellow sweater he was wearing, the same sweater you bought him for his birthday last year. Your eyes weren’t deceiving you, it really was Felix and his “best friend” in there, shamelessly hugging each other. You wanted to run away, you thought that they were too intimate to be just friends at this point. However, Seungmin’s advice haunted you from running. Now, you were determined to ask them what their stance in their relationship is and to confess to Felix this instance.

If only it was that easy for you. You stopped once you saw Felix turn his head to kiss the top of their head. Tears filled your eyes. No longer did you need to ask, it was already obvious to you. They’re together.

You turned around and walked, borderline running, away from the café. Not feeling the need to eat anymore, you ran all the way home. Once in a while, you stopped to rid yourself of the damned petals invading your lungs. If only you paid attention enough to notice the red petals that surrounded the two.

You slumped yourself against your door, once you arrived home. Everything around you looked...blurry. You couldn’t focus anymore. The only thing you can see are the bright yellow sunflower petals scattered around your floor. You clicked your tongue, shaking and laughing at the irony. The flower that you once adored and cherished is now the bane of your existence. You hopelessly kicked the petals away from you, your anger bubbling even more when they flew back to you.

Groaning, you stood up to mope on your couch instead, face planting the moment your knees hit the arm of it. You let yourself wallow in despair for almost 10 mins before remembering about the tap that was still open on your laptop. Scrambling to get up, you nearly tripped yourself on your way to your room. You opened your laptop and clicked on the tab labeled ‘The Onesided Love Syndrome’. You reread the information on the website.

“The Hanahaki disease is a rare, deadly illness born from unrequited love. When contracted, first, the infected’s throat will begin to fill up with flowers. Then, they will proceed to cough up, or even emesis, the petals. Eventually, their lungs will fill up with the fully bloomed flowers and will suffocate, ultimately leading to their demise,” you read out loud, feeling yourself get anxious. “It can only be cured in two ways. Patient must surgically remove the flower from their lungs, which will result in the patient losing all (romantic) feelings of love altogether. Patient’s love must be returned romantically...otherwise it will result in...death.”

You stayed silent. You were contemplating if you should do the procedure. You didn’t want to die but you knew that there was no other option. Felix was a taken man, and you had to accept that. However, your mind keeps going back to Seungmin and his saddened face. You turned your head to look at your phone, the screen lighting up to reveal a picture of you, Seungmin, and Felix.

You were smiling wide with your teeth showing in the picture while Seungmin had a small, dorky smile on his face. Your eyes lingered in Felix’s face. He was smiling with his teeth as well. Only he looked cuter than you with his freckles decorating his delicate face. The ambiance of the picture felt so warm as opposed to the cold, lonely room you were in. You hunched yourself over your bed to cough out the petals.

You grimaced with teary eyes, hating how it felt like you were throwing up. You got up, purposely stepping on the sunflower petals, to get a cup of water. I’ll wait. I’ll wait to make the right decision.

You have successfully avoided Felix for the past week. It’s been 5 days since you’ve seen Felix and his lover in the café. 5 days since you’ve talked to Felix. Your chest hurt, yeah, every time you avoided him, but your chest would hurt even more if you actually did interact with him.

You walked past your next class, the class that you and Felix shared. You only had that class for 2 days of the week, so you didn’t feel bad skipping it. Not like I liked that class anyways. You were already 2 classes away when you heard your name being called.

“Y/n!”

You walked faster, your heart pounding when you recognized the voice. “Y/n! Hey!” Holding your bag closer to you, you started sprinting down the hall, getting weird looks from the people you passed. Seemed like Felix wasn’t going to let you out easy, he started chasing after you. You tried running faster when his voice started becoming louder.

Felix, being the surprisingly athletic man he is, easily caught up to you, firmly but gently gripping your shoulder. “Y/n! I’ve been wanting to talk to you!” he panted harshly. You were out of breath too, but tried your best to refrain yourself from gasping for air, in fear of triggering the disease. You stayed quiet, not making eye contact with him.

“So, what’s up, Y/n? Why have you been avoiding me?”

Shock ran throughout your body, not expecting him to cut to the chase so fast. You made a little glance at him to see the sad expression on his face. You quickly looked away before he could catch you.

“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? What’s happening to you?”

You hate it. You hate how caring he is. You hate the worried look on his face. You hate the way he holds you so gently. And you especially hate the way your heart flutters at the way he’s basically telling you that he misses you. You mustered up the strength to look at him in the eyes. “Nothing,” you said coldly, surprising both Felix and yourself.

“Nothing, huh? Then what’s up with you avoiding me then?” Felix asked with a stern tone. He stared at you with a soft but sad look, making you feel guilty for hurting him like this.

You murmured, “I told you it’s nothing, Felix. Just- leave me alone.”

Felix was surprised by your loftiness. He, however, chose to ignore it. “Fine. Don’t tell me what’s wrong. But at least tell me what’s up with you and Seungmin!”

“What about me and Seungmin?”

“You’re avoiding him too! And he looks like he doesn’t wanna see you either. What’s wrong, Y/n? You know you can trust me, right?” Felix moved his hand from your shoulder to your cheek. He caressed with his thumb while he muttered, “I care about you.”

Your face grew warm from the sudden intimacy. His face was unnecessarily close to yours, his warm breath fanning against your lips. His eyes were filled with so much emotion, it made your head dizzy. You wanted to kick yourself for leaning into his touch. You were so caught up in the moment that you couldn't bring yourself to push him away when his face leaned closer to yours. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Felix’s phone rang. Using the opportunity, you immediately pushed him away, missing the flash of pain on his face.

Slowly, he answered. Hearing him say the name you last wanted to hear, you could feel the sunflower petals making their way up your throat. From the corner of your eyes, you could see Felix’s face grow panicked. He then started calling out their name with such urgency that it made you feel a little panicked as well. Felix hung up then turned to you with a scared face. Even if you were jealous and annoyed that your moment was interrupted, that was still someone who was dear to Felix’s heart; someone who needed Felix.

“Go,” you said gently, “They need you. You care about them too, right?”

Without another word, Felix nodded, turning to run out of the school as fast as he could. Your heart ached the smaller his figure became. No longer could you contain the petals from spewing out of your mouth. You covered your mouth and coughed harder than you expected. Unlike the past few days, this couch was stronger. This time, you felt like you couldn’t stop. You coughed and coughed, grabbing the attention of a few people.

You felt lightheaded. You had a feeling that you would pass out. Right as your vision turned blurred, you could feel someone place their hands on your back and chest. “Y/n?! Y/n! Hang in there!”

“Seung...min?”

“Y/n!”

You opened your eyes, feeling heavy. Your body ached, it was like you fell from the top of a 80 story building. Feeling something, or someone, holding your hand, you turned your head to see Seungmin resting half of his body on your bed.

Wait.

This isn't my bed? You slowly sat up and looked around. Seeing the white walls, suspended tv, and the heart monitor by your side, you confirmed that you were in the hospital. Looks like Seungmin took me here.

You felt Seungmin grip your hand tighter, stirring a bit before sitting up. His eyes met yours. “Hi,” he said quietly, squeezing your hand again.

“Hi,” you whispered back.

“You feeling okay?”

“Yeah but...I didn’t...You didn’t make me-”

Seungmin knew what you were trying to ask, like usual. “No. I didn’t. I wanted you to make the decision yourself.” You sighed in relief, falling back onto the comfort of the hospital bed. You stared up at the white ceiling as Seungmin stared at you.

“The doctor scanned you while you were unconscious,” he said.

“Yeah? What did he say?”

“He diagnosed you; said you had the disease for about a week now, which I told him that we already knew.”

You hummed, acknowledging that you were listening.

“Then he told me-“ Seungmin hesitated, trying to find the right words to use.

You sat up again, staring him down. “He told you, what?”

He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry but, you only have about a month left to live.”

“Wh-Wha? Huh?” you were scared. Only one month? “But I thought- I thought I’d have a little more time than that! One month only? How-?”

“It’s an unpredictable disease, Y/n. I know it’s only a short time left, but I still wanted you to talk to Lix first before you do it.”

You bit your lip to stop yourself from tearing up. “I kinda talked to him already- he’s kinda the reason why my petals went haywire. There’s nothing to talk about anymore, Min.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Besides. He needed to go to- you know. I didn’t wanna stop him from going, it sounded urgent.”

“Oh!” Seungmin gasped, “Luckily you said that! Felix is actually here.”

“...What?”

“Yup! Apparently they have the Hanahaki Disease too and their petals went haywire, like yours did. They just finished the surgery not that long ago!”

“Hanahaki…? But, how? I thought that they were together?”

“That’s why I keep telling you to talk to him,” he said, placing his free hand on your knee. “I’ll call him?”

You nodded your head, not trusting your voice. Seungmin let’s go and stands up. “I’ll be fast.” He jogged out of the room, leaving you alone with your confused heart.

About 10 minutes later, there was a knock. You looked up to see a tear-stained face Felix and a breathless Seungmin at the entrance. “I’ll leave you guys now,” Seungmin announced, patting Felix’s shoulder and muttering a good luck to both of you.

Felix cautiously walked inside, his eyes on the floor. He wordlessly sat on the chair Seungmin sat on. The two of you stayed quiet, not having the guts to look at each other.

“So, you too, huh?” Felix’s voice rang out. You turned to find him already staring at you. Different kinds of embarrassment flooded your mind.

“What? About me liking you too or about the Hanahaki thing?”

His face looked confused at the first thing you said. “Uh, both?” he said with uncertainty. “Wait. ‘Too’ as in, you knew I liked you, or-?”

“You like me...too?” Now you were confused as well. “Wait wait wait. Start over.”

“I meant, you had the Hanahaki disease too?”

“Yeah...Yeah I did. I mean, I still do. Seungmin didn’t want me to undergo the surgery just yet. He kept telling me that he didn’t want me to regret anything.”

Felix chuckled weakly. “Yup. That’s Seungmin, alright,” he sighed. “Looks like you guys are good now.”

“Yeah.” Another wave of silence took over the room.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered again. You looked at the boy that was hunched over in his chair. His hands were stiffly laid on his lap, but it looked like he wanted to hold your hands instead. So you did. You grabbed his hands, cupping them into your own. His eyes widened.

“I was scared,” you confessed with determination. “I didn’t know if I was ready to get hurt. I didn’t want to get hurt. So, I just stayed quiet all this time.”

You looked into his eyes with the same amount of passion he had in his. “But then I saw you hanging out with that best friend of yours more often and- and I got jealous. I feel bad, you should be about to hang out with whoever you want, especially with them! I shouldn’t have been jealous but there's no helping it, I guess. God, I even thought that you two were freaking dating! I was- I...“

You sighed, getting overwhelmed. You took another deep breath before continuing. getting straight to the point, you said, loud and proud, “I love you, Felix.”

Felix’s face turned red. His mouth literally dropped open.

“I love you so, so much, Felix Lee. This all happened because I love you so much, and I was just being selfish because I didn’t want to lose you...I guess I just ended up hurting a lot of people, not just myself.”

He dwelled in your confession. Felix was ecstatic to hear this! He stayed silent, still in overjoyed shock, which you misread.

“If you don’t reciprocate, it’s fine. I just wanted to tell you before I do the surgery.”

All of a sudden, Felix shot out of his chair, making it tip over, and kissed you, which greatly surprised you. His small hands cupped your face with such care, you almost wanted to cry. You kissed him back, moving your hands over his. With that one kiss, you could feel all the weight on your shoulders, and in your chest, disappear. Felix was the first to pull away, leaning his forehead against yours.

“God, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Hm?” you mumbled breathlessly. “Why don’t you do it again? You know I’ve been waiting for this too.”

He pulls you in for another kiss, this one more intense than the last one. This kiss was more desperate, like you both were scared that this was a dream. Before anything could get heated, the sound of a knock and someone clearing out their throat interrupted you two.

“Sorry to interrupt you kids, but I have a patient to examine?” The two of you frantically moved away from each other, flustered. You both muttered quick sorry’s to the doctor. The doctor walked closer to you, holding some documents and a weird device that looked like a fetoscope in his hands.

“You’re L/n, Y/n, I presume?”

“Yes, sir,” you confirmed, still embarrassed from getting caught making out with Felix. The said boy rocked on his feet, his arms were comically stiff in front of him.

“Your friend, Kim, should’ve told you what I told him. Now that you’re awake, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go through a procedure to remove the flower in your lungs. However, I’m guessing that that might not be necessary, anymore, hm?”

You and Felix grew hot. The both of you avoided eye contact with one another. The doctor only laughed at your awkwardness.

“It’s fine. No need to be embarrassed, youngins’,” he laughed, “This is way better than dying or living your life without love.”

You giggled stiffly, mustering the courage to look at Felix. “Yes, sir. You’re right,” you breathed out with a smile.

The Doctor hummed. “Well, judging by the little scene you’ve created, I think that you have already cured yourself from the disease,” he said, putting his documents down on the bedside table. “but just in case, please allow me to scan your chest to confirm.”

Hesitantly, you pulled down your shirt, revealing your chest. Felix, out of shyness, turned away from you with a red face. You had to resist the urge to laugh at his adorable-ness. The doctor gave you a lubricant to rub on your chest and held the device against it. He maneuvered it around your chest, observing the screen in his other hand.

“Well then, Y/n. Looks like you’re lucky! The petals have completely disappeared. You are now cured from Hanahaki!”

You smiled widely, looking at Felix, who returned your smile. The doctor excused himself out of the room, leaving you both alone.

“Congratulations, love. You now get to live a long life with your boyfriend!” Felix cheered. Your face burned at the title he had given himself.

“I love you,” you said happily.

“I love you too.” He steps closer to you to kiss you again when another knock interrupted you again. You laughed hearing the quiet “shit” that came out of Felix’s mouth. You both turned to see Seungmin standing there with a smug smile.

“I told you so,” he said proudly. You rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Thanks, Seungmin the wise,” you sarcastically said. The three of you laughed, happy that the bond between the three of you was now stronger than ever.

“Hey wait, you still haven’t answer my question, Y/n! Do you like pineapple pizza or not?”

(Case #XX2-

Name: Y/n L/n

Patient: Cured; discharged at XX,XX,XXX at XX:XX)

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(back to Page I)

#stray kids #skz #skz scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfic #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #skz felix #lee felix #lee felix imagines #felix imagines #felix fluff #felix angst #skz hanahaki au #btw fuck that 250 block limit #i had a lot of words (6.6k to be exact) but i to delete some stuff to fit everything #sigh #oh well #it still turned out pretty good though #and sorry for the delay everyone! #if you read some of my previous posts then you would know that my dumbass had made a bit of a problem for my fics #but after a few days i have finally restored at least THIS fic!! #so it might be a little different from what i originally wrote #but i hope you enjoy nonetheless!

[charmspoint]

how was it ^-^

Let's seee. It was good, perfectly enjoyable, it reads fast and i was never really bored with it. I'd give most chapters like a 7/10 and then chapters 71-82 like 8 or 9/10 and then back to like 7/10 and the ending was weird but also kinda sweet in its own way.

Now to preface anything else: This isn't my type of manga. I can easily see it being a 10/10 for someone who really likes fight scenes and death and gore and what not. I'm not really into that, I'm a character and story driven person which is why the manga as a whole scored as just goodish to me while chapters 71-82 which kinda make a lot of emotional and psychological aspects of the chapters before them come to culmination scored a lot better. You know I don't GET fights. Chainsaw man was very gory but I didn't even really register it. Like because of all the gore I feel I heard people say it has horror aspects but I never really felt scared or off put or anything. It was just kinda like 'oh a lot of people are in pieces rn, okay, that's a thing that's happening'. So yeah that's why the score is the way it is, it simply isn't a manga that focuses on things I like and that's perfectly alright. I couldn't buy into the hype like I did with jjk and I certently didn't feel 'oh this is the best thing ever' like I felt with witch hat atelier.

With all that out of the way let me talk long and hard about Denji and sexual aspects of the series in a surprisingly positive light:

I like Denji as a character. I think he's still a bit rough around the edges but he's not a character made for introspection so that's fine, you really kinda have to take what he says and how he acts and think about it because the author won't do it for you. That being said, I think Denji is probably the most compelling shonen protagonist I've read so far. Like when I read bnha or jjk I see Izuku and Yuji and I'm like 'this is a shonen protagonist'. They are a likable character but they won't be your favorite character. They are largely made for japanese high school boys to project themselves on and I'm not a japanese high school boy. That being said, Denji feels like a character of his own and not something meant to be projected on to. Honestly if anyone projected on to Denji I'd be worried about them. But that makes him probably the most compelling shonen protagonist I've ever read. You just wanna dig a shovel into his skull and go 'man kid ur fucked up'.

I know when you first read csm you were off put by Denji because it felt like a manga put a pervert character as a protag which is naturally off putting and I can 100% see that. Now be it because I was warned about it first or something else, I didn't actually find fanservice jarring at all. It kinda was integrated into the world in a way that made me think 'yeah of course it's like this'. This is a very grim and rough and drty world and things in it would be just like that. It is a story about base desires and sex is one of those. These are people who expect they will die any day now and Denji is a person who's just now getting to experience a somewhat decent standard of living. Here's a thing I noticed though: even as Denji thinks many sexual things (which, he's a teenager, that's normal) he's actually very respectful. I don't think I've ever seen him touch anyone without their permission, in fact i think things like that mostly happen to him. Like example how Power comes in just as Denji is in the middle of his 'i wanna touch some boobs' phase. You would almost expect that what happens next is we see him try to grope Power as she's sleeping or something. But no, he doesn't do a thing until she asks him to help her save her cat and he gets to touch her boobs for it. And it's like this with p much every other sexual encounter through the series. Both partners are consenting and getting something out of the whole thing. Sexual aspects are used as normal bartering chips in a world where your whole body is a bartering chip. It's normal and no one is forced into it. I've told you before that my biggest misgiving with fanservice is that it's often based on embarrassment and unwilling participation of the girls. Like fanservice isn't fanservice because you saw a boob it's fanservice because you saw a boob when you weren't supposed to, when the girl didn't want you, when she's angry or scared or embarrassed because you did. A lot of fanservice feels very much like taking something from the girl, debasing and humiliating her for the sake of watchers/readers satisfaction.

Despite all it's sexual jokes and themes and everything else Chainsaw man never once made me feel like that. It never once made me feel like the author expected me to gain sexual satisfaction out of debasement of female cast. Which is why even though boobs and naked women are literally all over the manga I didn't mind it at all. It stopped being fanservice and became just a natural part of characters lives as sexuality and sex is a natural part of real world.

Back to Denji.

So I mussed a bit about Denji and Maslow before but here it is in total

Denji is 16 years old and at the beginning of the series he's just starting to have his physiological and safety needs met. Like he doesn't live like a human being at the start of the series and Makima recruiting him is A BIG CHANGE for him. Like for a good while Denji is like 'Now I have three meals a day and a place to sleep at so I'm good with whatever'. He's given reliable sources to fulfil his needs and he's given a way to keep those sources stable. He has a job, it's not a good job but he has it. He has a place to live and a theoretical safety net. He's immortal so there's nothing to fear in the death and injury department which means the otherwise unsafe job is perfectly fine for him. Now what Denji gets stuck on through most of the series is Love and Belonging. Because you can't just give someone love like you can give them food (not that Makima doesn't try). People are more complicated. Compromises need to be made and human connections are hard to establish, especially if you are someone like Denji who has no idea how to interact with others aside from obeying orders. This is why his need for love and belonging first manifests as a sexual need (that and he's an allo teenager). Human connections are hard but sexual contact doesn't have to come tied with connections so it's easier (if unsatisfactory as Denji finds out with Power) to achieve. A lot of Denji's personal growth is tied to him finding out that this need can be fulfilled by other things alongside sex. This is why I love chapters 71-82 so much because they are really a culmination of Denji's emotional journey in that category. Along the way along with sexual love he finds romantic one. He wants to spend time with girls he likes, he wants them to like him beyond the sexual. Of course sexuality is always an aspect of it but after that scene with Power it's never the only thing. Human connection, understanding the other person, knowing them, loving them, making them happy. And it all culminates in the familial love he finds with Aki and Power, taking care of someone and being taken care of for no other reason than they are your family and you love them, you care for them, you want them to be well and happy. There's this scene with Power later on when they are taking a bath together and Denji is like 'huh we are both naked but it doesn't feel naughty at all'. He's stopped seeing Power sexually because he started to see her as his sister and it's just really nice, those few chapters we get to see them as a family are really nice.

By the end of the series Denji starts checking off the esteem box too, by people accepting him and loving him and him feeling like he wants to respond to that, but I feel like that aspect and possible self actualization will be more explored in part 2.

There you have it, my essay about why Denji is the most compelling Shonen protagonist I've ever read :)

Also I really liked the girls in this series, it really isn't afraid of letting it's female characters be weird and gross and in Makima's case just plain evil and I appreciate it for that. I just wish Quanxi got more time and things to do but she's a side character and it's not her fault she's cooler than the whole main cast (Power best girl tho).

I feel like I talked a lot already about what was my most important take away from the whole thing but yeah, in general: pretty entertaining read, would probably be a complete blast for someone who's invested in fights, a little thin on psychology and emotion for my tastes but when it delivers them it delivers them good.

Also I like how it basically ended on 'you should give people more hugs' it was cute

Additionally I think the authors idea to basically release manga in seasons like you would an anime is straight up genius I hope that more mangakas start picking this up because it allows them more rest in between big arcs.

Ok now that's it for real this time.

#megacarapa #lucy rants #csm #chainsaw man #character analysis fanservice discussion sex and sexuality dicussion this baby has it all

[joheun-saram]

To Make A Power Couple (knj) | 8

Chapter 8: Housewarming

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Summary- Finally moved in together, Namjoon and Y/N relish their time together despite their schedules and stupid misunderstandings

word count- 8.8k

pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader

rating- R

genre- series, fluff, smut, slight angst

warnings- extreme domestic fluff, mention of parental death, alcohol consumption, kink shaming (kinda? idk man), dom!joon, sub!reader, smut (unprotected sex, fingering, rough sex, marking, somewhat daddy kink, orgasm denial), safeword use (yellow), Namjoon being whipped but also being a dumbass, Y/N just trying to chill, Namjoon’s obsessed with her ass ig

a.n- apologies for this chapter taking literally forever! but i give you fluff for your patience. so much fluff omg. can i move in with joon already? but also we cant have this much fluff without a sprinkle of angst. 

special s/o to @himbojk​,  @pars-ley​, and @s0seo​ for beta reading parts for me  and easing my worries 💕

As always feedback appreciated. Send me an ask! 💌

taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach, @sscheherazadee, @rjsmochii , @jinjccns​ , @joyful-jimin @sideblogger @agustdpeach @diamonddia-mond, @asdfghjklqwertyv, @cheesecakes-randomshitz​, @goldenjongho

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“Are you sure about this? It’s only been six months honey.” Your mother looked at you through the screen and you felt your heart tighten. She had that worried look on her face, the one that tells you that she will respect your decision but isn’t too happy about it. She looked different too, the wrinkles around her eyes more pronounced as she frowned and you wish you could convince her of your decision.

“Seven, actually. I love him, mom. I thought you liked him?” She had been nothing but supportive of your relationship, trusting you to make the right decisions. It had been the two of you for so long when you were younger that it always felt weird that you were on your own now. When your father had passed away when you were starting high school, she had done everything in her power to ensure you never felt like you were down a parent. As a senior partner at a management consultancy, she had long hours and business trips but she always picked you up from school and often took you with her on her business trips. Her trips are the reason that by the time you finished high school, you had been to pretty much every major city in North America. Not to mention that watching her working is the reason you were so good at what you did now. 

You remember when the first year after your father’s death you had to go to a father-daughter school dance and she donned one of his old suits to take you. You danced with her that night, surrounded by your peers and their fathers, but smiling at her as you nuzzled into her neck, her scent mingling with your dad’s on the clothes. You felt safe and you decided you never wanted to disappoint her. Maybe that’s where your drive to succeed came from - from ensuring that your mom, who worked long hours but still had a homemade dinner on the table when you came back from school, was proud of you.

“I do like him, honey. Namjoon is probably the best boyfriend you’ve had. I’m just worried you both are moving too fast.” She sighed as she sipped her tea. “He’s a rockstar, I just want you to be happy but what if things changed?”

“A rockstar?” You giggled. Sometimes you forgot that your mom was kind of old school, not beyond judging a book by its cover. “He’d probably die of embarrassment to hear you say that.”

“Y/N I’m just saying. Be careful with your heart.” Her voice was stern as she looked at you through the screen, her eyes narrowed with her warning.

“I know mom. I’m sorry. I trust him, you know. I don’t think I knew what love was till I met him. Having him around makes me feel safe, less lonely.”

“He’s still responsible for my daughter being in a cast.” After the incident, your mother had grown a bit wary of your relationship. She knew he was famous but she never realised just how many sacrifices the two of you had made to be together. You knew she was aware that Namjoon would never hurt you but you still felt bad that she was worrying over what was an anomaly. Speaking to Namjoon, you knew that something of the sort had never happened to him and his members, even to his other idol friends. The thought of it being such a rare occurrence had given you assurance and you hoped it would translate to your worried mother an ocean away.

“Mom! It’s not his fault. We’ve been over this!”

“I know, I know. I’m your mom. I’m just worried.” She sighed as she resigned from the conversation. You knew your mom had your best interests at heart but she didn’t know Namjoon like you did. She had met him twice over the screen and then had spent countless hours googling him and sending you clips of him breaking things with texts calling him out (“he better not be this clumsy with your heart”). You love her but you never know how to convince her that she had nothing to worry about. “Anyways, how’s my favourite son Harry?”

And so the conversation moved on from her qualms about your soon-to-be live-in boyfriend to your business as you told her about the plans you had for your company and talked about your friends. As you went to bed after hanging up, you looked at the empty side. It was the first time in weeks you were sleeping without your boyfriend but you were giddy as you thought about the morning when he would finally move in and you would never see that empty side again.

------------

“Baby why are all your shelves empty? Why have I never noticed this before?” Namjoon stood frowning in the kitchen with a box of his dishes and cutlery, something you made fun of him about since he notoriously lives on take out, as he placed his plates in the shelves above your kitchen counters.  

“Really Joon? Do you know who you’re dating?” You giggled as you hopped off the counter you were sitting at and stood next to him. Reaching up to extend your uninjured hand as far as it could, you looked at him as you just about reached the bottom shelf. You were not that short but whoever designed this apartment thought the shelves looked extra elegant if they were extra high. 

“Aw! You’re so cute!” He cooed as he patted your head condescendingly, causing you to scowl and narrow your eyes at him. Before you could retort, he put his arms around your waist lifting you so you were eye level with the shelves. “See? Now you can reach! Teamwork!”

You laughed as he put you down, turning around to wrap your arm around him. “Can’t believe we live together now,” you whispered into his chest as you felt him kiss the top of your head. Placing your chin against him you looked up, speaking in a hushed tone. “Promise me you won’t start hating me and my little quirks.”

“I could never hate you, as long as you promise not to get annoyed by me practicing in our living room.” Namjoon looked at you with a wide smile, as he cupped your face, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. You hugged him as you looked across the kitchen island towards your large living room. The large shelf in the corner that once only housed only your books and vinyls was now filled with pieces of your boyfriend. The top shelves had his books with his own organization system (apparently organizing books based on colours was too chaotic for him) as his little collectible figurines stood at random places. Not to mention the tiny baby shoes he had added on one of the shelves (“They’re just cute! I’m totally not picturing a cute fat baby with your doe eyes!”). 

You both had added another shelf near the balcony that now housed his extensive plant collection, in fact you had never seen this apartment more green, little plants scattered in the corners. In addition to your framed posters, there were now paintings from his collection, eclectic pieces that lit the blank white walls in color. You both had even moved the couch to the corner and added a mirror on the nearby wall that not only made the room look larger but would help Namjoon if he ever needed to practice his dances. 

You sighed contentedly as what was once your home now became the both of yours, your hobbies and tastes intermingling in a perfect union. The den was now a studio, soundproofed and full of midi boards and amps - it seemed like a piece of Namjoon had a place in your home. The two of you had gone back and forth over where to live, whether to move into his house or buy a new place completely, but in the end you had decided your apartment would be best since it was close to both of your work places and because it housed the most memories you shared.

“Oh! Or we can buy a new place?” You looked up at Namjoon’s profile from where you laid next to him, you head in the crook of his arm, his fingers tracing circles on your skin, right above where your cast ended. You were both in bed, a few days after he asked you to move in together, eager to figure out where you would embark on your latest relationship milestone.

“What about here? I like it here. This is our spot.”

“Really you wanna move in here?”

“Yeah this is where we had our first official date. This is where we found out that Ken Burns documentaries make you fall asleep-” He grunted as you smacked his chest at his comment, laughing before continuing. “This is where I first found out how much I love your food. Heck, that living room was where I knew I was in love with you!”

“Oh? You haven’t told me that before.” The two of you turn on your sides to look at each other as you grinned at him in anticipation.

“Yeah it was like a few weeks after we became official. I came over and you were at the gym and when you came back we ordered like a massive pizza and you were so giddy while eating it, I don’t know if you noticed but I’m sure I had literal heart eyes.”

“You know you really like me and pizza together,” you joked as you played with the necklace he had given you, his hand coming to fiddle with the chain as well.

“What can I say? I like you covered in sauce.” He laughed as he held your chin and brought you in for a kiss, humming gently when you separate.

“Be honest though, you totally fell in love with me when I agreed to recreate that porn you like, didn’t you?”

“Ah fuck! You’re right, that’s like the number one reason we should move in here. This is where we found out calling me daddy makes you gag.”

“Yes I’m sure it was just calling you that and not your stupidly big dick.” You both broke into fits of laughter holding on to each other, falling back into the comforting silence, before Namjoon broke it looking at you with a smirk.

“So how about we break out that riding crop again? Hmm? Get you in some of that sexy lingerie?” He moved his arm lower from where it sat on your waist to your hips, his fingers playing with the waistband of your pajamas.

“But baby you said you loved my batman underwear,” you whined jokingly, giggling with your arm around his neck as you looked at him coyly.

“Honestly? I love you in anything.” He said earnestly as he captured your lips in a searing kiss, moving his body to lay on top of yours carefully avoiding your injured arm. “Or nothing…”

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The first week of living together was odd. The two of you had spent the month after deciding to move in together planning so much, even buying new furniture, but now that you were living together it was weird. It wasn’t a bad weird, in fact it was a very, very good weird. You and Namjoon had never lived with a partner before and much like when you first got together, it felt easy. Maybe it was practice from when Namjoon was over all the time, but it just felt so effortless being with each other.

You would be lying if you said your mother’s words hadn’t opened up an insecurity within you. You were messy, sure it was an organized mess, but you were messy. You tend to forget where you put things, and when you’re stressed even the smallest of inconveniences make you snap. However, somehow Namjoon just slotted himself into your life so seamlessly, you were finding it hard to believe how lucky you were. 

On Monday, you came home and as usual threw whatever jacket you were wearing on the floor, he followed, silently picking it up and hanging it. Namjoon was organized and that made you remember where you left your keys on Tuesday, because now they were always in the cute little crab shaped plate near the foyer. On Wednesday you were infuriated with work and when you went to pee when you reached home, the toilet seat was up causing you to nearly topple in. But unlike usual when you would’ve torn whoever did that to pieces, you broke into a laugh, dialing Namjoon at practice and telling him you missed him. On Thursday, you had your doctor’s appointment to finally get the cast off, and when you returned home to excitedly show off your new arm, Namjoon frowned at the large scar before kissing it repeatedly and spending the night worshipping you. On Friday, the two of you saw the smog warning and donned some masks going to Yeouido Hangang Park, melding in with the mask-wearing strangers enjoying convenience store kimbap and beers as you read your book aloud to him, lounging on the sloping greens. That was also when he learned you didn’t know how to ride a bike, making it his responsibility to teach you.

“I still can’t believe you don’t know how to ride a bike!” Namjoon laughed as he held onto the handlebars. You struggled to keep the balance, your feet resting lightly on the pedals of the rented bike as he slowly pushed you. 

“I skateboarded instead! You tell me that once you land an ollie!” you huffed, now pushing on the pedals, albeit gently. Namjoon found your hesitation adorable. He loved discovering these different sides of you. The fact that his always confident girlfriend seemed scared of something as simple as a bike when she was apparently doing tricks on a skateboard, made his heart swell. It was like you kept all your embarrassing secrets for him, you told him things that no one knew about you, and he couldn’t wait to discover more. 

For Namjoon, moving in had been as easy as breathing, even though it had barely been a week. On Monday, he took a homemade lunch to work for the first time in a year. When he opened the box, the smell of your stew lingered in his studio and every time he returned from a meeting that day, the scent made him smile. On Tuesday, you came by his building to pick him up, waving excitedly as he wrapped up a livestream and tried not to giggle like a fool in love, which he very much was. Wednesday, he was having a tough time getting the new dance routine down, but then you called him out of the blue and it made his heart flutter, reenergizing him to finally nail the steps. When your cast came off on Thursday, he was again filled with guilt about his part in your attack, but your assurances helped him ease his mind. However, not as much as you screaming his name when he made you cum for the third time on his tongue. Namjoon had never felt so connected to someone before. Usually he would be scared to share so much of his life with another person, but with you he couldn’t wait. He felt extremely lucky just to be in your presence, soaking in the determined look on your face as he taught you how to ride a bike.

“Okay shit. Nevermind that’s really hot. Let’s go skateboarding next time,” he smiled at you mischievously, knowing that he was going to let go of the bike any second.

“I haven’t done that in ten - Oh my god! Don’t let go! Why are you letting go?” You looked behind you to see Namjoon put a thumb in the air in encouragement.

“You’re a big girl, you can do it. I believe in you!”

“I hate you! I’m gonna fall! How do I stop?!” You could feel the wind blowing through your hair as you steadily picked up speed, and you were terrified. How did you let your tree of a boyfriend talk you into this? There was a reason you had legs, why did you need these stupid wheels?!

“Just push the brakes and put your leg out.”

“Joon! Namjoon! I’m gonna fall!” You watched your life flash before your eyes as you cursed, falling on to the grass, your bike between your legs. Namjoon jogged up the few meters to stand above you, almost doubling over in laughter, causing you to cross your arms where you laid pouting at him. “Stop laughing at me!”

“Sorry! I just - you were going so slow! You literally fell in slow motion!” He continued laughing, even having the audacity to wipe a tear off his eye as you glared at him, before moving the bike and helping you up. “Come on up. There we go!” He beamed at you making it much harder to be mad at him when his eyes squinted in that adorable way they do when he’s extra pleased.

“If I break my arm again it’s your fault.” You leaned into him as he put an arm around you, the other walking the bike back to its station. 

“Sorry, sorry! Okay I think that was enough practice. Let’s go home.” He pulled you closer, the bike now firmly locked and no longer charging him through the app. With your arms around his waist, you kind of felt bad giving up on learning so easily. He had seemed so excited when he suggested biking around the river.

“Sorry I can’t bike with you. I wanna share your hobbies!” You pouted, making Namjoon swoon.

“Baby we literally share like seven million hobbies. It’s okay if you don’t like biking. I hate all the Shark Tank episodes you make me sit through.” He laughed as you looked up at him, even with the mask covering half his face you could tell how his dimples would be poking through his cheeks at your comment.

“You said you liked them!”

“It was a month into dating you. I lied.” You rolled your eyes at his nonchalance as he smiled smugly. You knew he hated that show, he would always be getting up to go to the bathroom or get snacks during the pivotal moments. Well at least he was committed enough to not be on his phone when you watched together. Now that you think about it, he must really love you to sit through the marathon you had of it last month.

“So what else do you hate?”

“Arthur C Clarke. I don’t get why you love 2001 so much. It’s so pseudo philosophical and the sequels suck.”

“But the monolith Joon! The spark of curiosity and ambition! And like the combined consciousness! Come on!”

“Eh. Pretentious. Douglas Adams did it better.” He shrugged.

“I can’t believe you! Those are like two different concepts!” You laughed as he dissed one of your favourite books, enjoying his warmth against you as the two of you waited for the car to pick you up in the parking lot.

------------

Saturday would mark the first weekend of you both living together, and so it was time to celebrate. The two of you had taken the day off in preparation for the first party you would host together, in the apartment you lived together. Just the thought made you giddy. You walked around the grocery store, stocking up on snacks and alcohol as Hayoon, Namjoon’s favourite security personnel, helped you carry the basket that kept getting heavier. You still found it weird walking around with the 195cm, extremely buff older man, but with the attack still fresh in your head, it was comforting having the looming presence. You had noticed that people didn’t even look twice at you, when in the past your foreigner status would have had at least a few staring at you.

Thanking Hayoon for carrying your supplies and bidding him a goodbye, you walked into your living room to find your boyfriend dancing to music playing from his earphones. Somehow in the midst of cleaning and moving furniture to make room for the twenty something people you both had invited, he had started working. You couldn’t blame him when you yourself had taken the time in the car to answer a few emails. It gave you the perfect opportunity to share your present with him.

“I’ve got a surprise for you!” You walked over to block his view of himself in the mirror as he rolled his body to some unknown tune. It was quite funny watching his concentrated scowl turn into confusion, barely hearing you.

“Hmm?”

“Stop dancing! I’ve got a surprise!”

“Can’t stop babe I have to get this down before Monday.” Namjoon looked over your head into the mirror as he continued practicing his choreography, making you roll his eyes.

“Hmm maybe Kook would wanna go instead,” you said nonchalantly as you turned around and started to slowly back away, before Namjoon’s arm came around your waist, stopping you.

“Ah baby don’t do that. See, airpod out, I’m listening!” You grinned as Namjoon pulled his earphone out, stopping the music but continuing to dance.

“You know you look like one of the sims just dancing there without music,” you joked, giggling.

“Babbbbbe! Where are we going?” he whined.

“So you know how your favourite rapper is Nas?”

“Yes I’m aware.”

“I got backstage passes!”

“What? For me?” Namjoon stilled, a dopey grin on his face as you walked closer to him to show him the tickets on your phone. It wasn’t a huge present but when one of your clients had asked if you wanted to attend, you couldn’t refuse the tickets. It helped that your client owned the stadium the performance was at and had accommodated your special requests for privacy.

“And you get to watch from this barricade so you don’t have to worry about paparazzi or fans and you can just enjoy the show!” Namjoon’s heart swelled as he heard your words. You never failed to surprise him with how much you went out of your way to make him comfortable. Lately, you’d been making him want to declare your relationship to the world. It was a dumb fantasy and the two of you had talked (argued) about going public, but between the two of you it seemed that you were more against it.

“You’re coming with me right?” He put his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“I don’t know, I know I just said you’ll have privacy but what if someone sees us together? Maybe you can take Yoongi.” You look up at him with a frown, your hands on his chest, as you assessed the different ways the concert could affect your privacy. He hated how you had to overthink such a simple outing, mirroring your frown as he reached to relax the crease between your brows before placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Shut up. I’m only taking you. The whole world can watch!” He grinned making you roll your eyes. 

“You scare me with how easily you just said that.” You swatted at his chest. It really did scare you with how easily he’d been saying that lately. He wasn’t really an impulsive person, he usually thought everything through to the utmost detail and so his recent exclamations were worrying you. It’s not that you wouldn’t like to post one of the thousands of couple photos on your social media, it’s just you were worried about how toxic some netizens could be.

“Would it be so bad if everyone knew?” He pulled you closer, arms circling your waist as he pressed his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes with a little smile, wanting to play out his fantasy.

“Joon I’m not risking your career so we can go on a few dates.” You sighed, picking at his shirt at his chest where your hands laid.

“My fans will be happy to see me happy, baby.”

“Ugh let’s not argue about this right now. Do you like your surprise?” You put your arms around his neck as you peck his lips.

“Only if I get to enjoy it with you.”

“Yes yes I guess I’ll go see one of my favourite rappers with you.”

“I love you,” he whispered, bringing his lips to yours to kiss you gently. You returned it equally gently, getting lost in the warmth as he molded his lips to yours, tilting his head to get a better angle and squeezing your ass as he brought you even closer in his embrace. Before things could get heated, you pulled away, smiling as he followed your lips, eyes still closed. You pecked his lips a few times before moving away completely.

“Hey don’t let me distract you. Practice!” 

“You’re such a tease. Meanie.” He pouted as you walked away with a wave in his direction, smirking at his petulance. 

“Love you too Joonie!”

------------

Namjoon was drunk. He promised himself at the beginning of the party that he would stay sober to ensure his first party with you went seamlessly, but then the Ilsan boys showed up. The Ilsan boys were his high school friends, dubbed so by you. To say you liked them would be a stretch, since he always got too drunk when they were around, but he couldn’t help it. They made him forget all about being an idol and let loose. They were some of the few people beside you and his family that had that effect. Sitting on the couch that was pulled up to the window, he felt the alcohol race through his veins, and he was in his feelings. Beside him, Harry talked to Sehun, one third of the Ilsan boys as they talked about some tv show. He was happy, so happy he was smiling to himself as he rocked his feet on the ground, a beer in hand. He was happy and as he watched you across the room, he was also a little annoyed.

You were talking to Kang, another one of the Ilsan boys, as Jungkook stood with his arms on top of your head for support and Hoseok laughed at some joke you made. Before the party the two of you had decided not to be the couple that only hung out with each other, and since this party was literally just your closest friends, it was not that hard to do. But right now all Namjoon wanted to do was be petty and shove Jungkook off of you, wrap his arms around you instead and tell you how horny your skinny jeans were making him. Alright, correction. Namjoon was drunk, happy, and horny. 

He bit his lip as he followed your curves with his eyes, watching the way your chest rose as you laughed, and the way your throat moved with each sip of your whiskey. Okay, that’s it. Screw the decision, he was walking over. Plus, he had stayed away for the past three hours, even had to watch you belt out his favourite My Chemical Romance song as you wiggled your butt, that had to count for something. He made his way to your little group, swaying a little as he shoved Jungkook a little too aggressively off you, making him protest over his spilled beer, before putting an arm possessively over your shoulder. He grinned as you leaned in, continuing your conversation.

“As I was saying there is no way Y/N is a sub. No fucking way!” Kang bellowed from where he stood. Namjoon’s brows furrowed at his comment. Why was he talking about his girlfriend this way? He felt an irrational surge of anger through him. He knew Kang was crass, his talks often devolving to his sex capades a few shots in, but did he really not respect Namjoon enough to be talking this shit in his own home about his girlfriend during their housewarming party?

Namjoon’s grip tightened around you protectively as Kang kept talking about your sex life. You only hummed, seemingly bored as you drank. Turns out you were playing a game, instigated by Kang of course, where you had to guess the other person’s kink, and if someone guesses correctly, you drink if not then the guesser drinks. Apparently you were in the spotlight for the moment.

Namjoon tilted his head, eyes narrowed at his childhood friend and raised an eyebrow. Kang, luckily for him, got the hint, shutting up with an apologetic glance at Namjoon. However, everyone else in the little group seemed to have missed this little interaction.

“I don’t know… I’ve seen hyung’s porn collection. He definitely has a daddy kink.” Jungkook scratched his chin as he slurred out the words, like he was trying to decipher a difficult math problem. 

“Dude Y/N would rather puke than call Namjoonie daddy.” Hoseok laughed, wiggling his eyebrows at you with a knowing smirk. You laughed, a little too hard in your tipsy state, and Namjoon felt his blood run cold. You had definitely said those words to him, even pretended to jokingly gag when he brought it up the first, and only, time. He stood straighter at Hoseok’s comment. Had you told him about this? Why would you tell Hoseok of all people? You weren’t even close! 

His jaw ticked as the group laughed, oblivious to the sudden hurt he felt. He felt exposed, naked and vulnerable, all because of you. He didn’t know if his feelings were elevated with the alcohol in his body, but he suddenly felt like he was losing all trust in you. You didn’t even seem phased, not noticing that his arm was no longer around you as you giggled at their antics.

“Okay. Time to reveal the winner!” You started, your arms wide and voice low as Jungkook used Hoseok’s chest as a makeshift drum, tapping at it lightly in a drumroll.

“Nope.” Namjoon couldn’t help but cut you off. There was no way you were sharing intimate details of your sex life with these idiots. He didn’t know how things worked in Canada, but here in his house he sure as hell was not hearing his friends talk about your kinks. He grabbed your wrist, taking the glass from your hand and placing it on the table before dragging you into the guest bathroom by the kitchen.

“Aww Joonie! Now I have to do three shots!” You pouted at him, oblivious to the storm brewing in his head.

“No.”

It was all he said before he crashed his lips to yours, taking your surprised yelp as an opportunity to roughly press his tongue to yours. He didn’t know what overcame him, he initially wanted to talk to you but something about the utter lack of remorse on your face snapped something in him. Oh those guys didn’t think you were a sub? He was going to prove them all wrong and make you beg for him while no one outside had a clue. It was his biggest turn on after all, to see you confidently striding through every room demanding respect and attention, only to turn into an obedient little girl for him.

He had been horny all night, rocking a semi every time he looked at you, and your little moans as you wrapped your arms around him now only made him harder. He kissed you with more force, removing your hands from around him and pinning them to the door behind you as his lips ventured down your neck to where your blouse started.

He let go of your hands, pleased to see them remain immobile against the door, and reached for your jeans, the same jeans that had been taunting him all evening. Kissing down your body, he pulled the jeans off your legs, turning you around roughly once you stepped out of them. With your ass in front of his face, he couldn’t help himself, biting at the flesh, smirking at your surprised yelp.

He stood up behind you, bending you over the sink. Pulling your shirt up and gripping your jaw, he placed the hem in your mouth. He kissed your neck, keeping his eyes on yours through the mirror as his hands pulled the cups of your bra down to grope you firmly. You didn’t know what had gotten into him suddenly, but you were not complaining, your shirt getting wet as did your panties. Wordlessly, he continued, his hands roaming your body to reach your heat where he didn’t hesitate to slide your panties to the side and thrust two fingers in, making you moan loudly at the sudden stretch. 

At your moan, his lustful eyes met yours as he increased his speed, the sound of your squelching pussy filling the air. Namjoon couldn’t help himself anymore, he needed to be inside you, teach you a lesson for being so oblivious to him. Unbuttoning his jeans, he released his dick, already dripping with precum at how turned on he was at the prospect of one of your friends knowing what was happening behind doors. Without a second thought, he lined himself up at your entrance to plunge himself right to the hilt. 

You moaned at the sudden aggressive move, your skin tingling with excitement to see your boyfriend this needy for you. Namjoon didn’t usually get this aggressive right off the bat, and his rare sexual desire made you heat up, mewling at the stretch. You braced yourself against the counter as you watched Namjoon’s face contorted in pleasure, his jaw tight as he rammed himself into you again and again, leaving your breathless and with your legs shaking.

“Fuck… I can’t believe we’re fucking in the bathroom… at our own party!” you moaned at a particularly hard thrust.

“That’s what you get for being such a fucking tease all night.” Namjoon leaned closer to speak in your ear, his chest molded to your back as one of his hands pulled your nipple while the other turned your head towards him, leaving sloppy wet kisses on your neck. You need more, needed to kiss him, needed his fingers on your clit, anything.

“Joonie…” you mewled, looking at him pleadingly.

“Ah don’t try to get all soft on me now baby.” He smacked your ass, aiming right where his bite mark was visible, making you preen. “Did you think you were funny telling Hobi how you gagged on my cock when I called myself daddy, hmm?” His hips moved hard, pushing you further into the sink, your walls clenching around him and you were sure your hips were going to bruise from where they slammed against the counter. Your skin was pebbling with goosebumps and you felt like you could feel every vein on his cock as he continued to move in you. With his hand on your jaw, he moved your face towards the mirror, enjoying the way your mouth was held open and eyes wide with want.

“Answer me baby. Did you like embarrassing me in front of our friends?” Namjoon knew he really shouldn’t bring his issues into the bedroom, especially when you allowed and trusted him with how you gave up control, but the concoction of hurt, anger and beer in his veins overrode his rationality. 

You felt a wave of guilt wash over you at his words, finally realizing what had gotten him so riled up. Making eye contact in the mirror, you couldn’t tell if this was all part of a scene he’d come up with or if he was serious. Before you could say anything, he spanked you again, his thrusts slowing, but somehow getting harder. Although you were concerned, you couldn’t deny how you could feel your orgasm rising, your walls tightening around him.

“Do you like seeing me get hurt in front of my friends?” He gritted out, his gaze darkened.

“H-hurt?” you stuttered, alarmed.

“Yeah baby, hurt. You think I like you sharing our secrets?” He was back at your neck, nipping the flesh and soothing it with his tongue. “You think I liked you and Hobi laughing at me, pretty girl?” he sneered, but you could see past it. Behind the lust in his eyes, he was actually hurt, his eyes glistening, and although you were enjoying this sudden, surprise sex, your needs could wait.

“Joon… fuck… yellow. Yellow.” You grunted, despite your body begging you to let him continue so you could cum. Suddenly Namjoon froze, pulling out. His eyes softened immediately with concern as he ran his hands up and down your arms to comfort you.

“Shitshitshit sorry! Was that too much? Too rough? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He spoke fast, trying to gauge your expression in the mirror.

“Are you okay? Are you actually mad about Hobi?” You turned around, cupping his face as you looked up at him. He sighed, biting his lip a couple of times and contemplating if he should talk about it now.

“Yeah. I’m sorry I just - it kinda fucked me up.” He averted your gaze, opting to look at the wall next to the two of you, and you felt your heart ache at his words. “Like I was pretty vulnerable when I shared that kink with you and I get it - it’s cliched and basic and you weren’t into it but I feel like you guys were laughing at me. I don’t like getting laughed at by my girlfriend behind my back with one of my best friends.” He looked at you towards the end of his statement, the fiery look back in his eyes. You knew he was mad, but truly he had no reason to be. In fact, thinking more about it made you sad that he would think that you would purposely kink shame him or laugh at him for any reason.

“I’m so sorry Joonie. It’s not even like that. I’m so sorry baby. Do you wanna talk about -” But before you could finish your sentence, he spun you around again.

“No.” He spoke firmly, lining himself once again, fully back into his dominant persona. “Much. Rather. Fuck. My. Frustrations. Out. Colour?” He punctuated each word with a snap of his hips, making you mewl, your earlier lost orgasm revving back up slowly.

“Green. Fuck Joon!” He bent you over further at your words, holding tightly to your hips as he fucked you.

“Tell me when you’re close, baby. You don’t get to cum tonight.” He spoke, his voice strained from his harsh movements. Oh, he must be really mad. Namjoon took pride in making you cum, often overstimulating you, but this was new. He’d never flat out denied you an orgasm before, and the thought made you want to cum even more.

“Joonie. I’m sorry. Please... fuck! You feel so good.” You mewled, looking at him with puppy eyes. You didn’t know how long you could hold your orgasm if he continued, the coil in your stomach tightening at his every move.

“No can do pretty girl you gotta learn your lesson.” He smirked, spanking your ass for good measure, the slap ricocheting through the walls of the small bathroom. You really hoped nobody needed to pee, glad that the music was pretty loud, you could almost sing along to the SHINEE track in the background.

“Please daddy?” You knew he was mad at you for this, but in your lust-addled, desperate mind you just wanted to do anything to please him.

“Fuck off! Don’t make me ban you from cumming all week.” He gritted out, almost panting with how fast he was going, chasing his own release as he spanked your ass twice. 

“God. Oh my god, Joon!” You felt him get sloppy, almost on the brink of your orgasm. Namjoon could feel you tighten impossibly hard, and with one last thrust he pulled out, stroking himself before cumming on your ass with a loud groan. You whined, your head on your arms as you felt your orgasm ebb away, your clit throbbing in need.

Namjoon leaned next to you, catching his breath, as he looked at your wrecked state, legs shaking, hair a mess, your tits hanging out of your bra.

“Did you cum?” he asked, stroking your hair as you looked up at him.

“No…” He kissed you at that, gently and quickly.

“Good girl. Now let’s clean you up, we have a party to host.” He buckled his pants, as he handed you some toilet paper, fixing your shirt, and once you cleaned up, helping you put your pants back on. He was still hurt, but weirdly sated. He knew it would take time for him to get over this, but he still felt lucky knowing that you’d understand as he watched you fix your makeup in the mirror.

“Joon, are you still mad?” You spoke after a few minutes, voice uncharacteristically meek, making Namjoon wish he waited till after the party was over, so he could tend to you properly after being so rough.

“A little. It’s just kind of stings right now.” He spoke after a few beats of contemplation leaning against the sink. When in other relationships, he got used to just saying he was fine, with you he felt that he could be honest even if it hurt, and although he still felt somewhat betrayed, he couldn’t help himself.

“I’m sorry, truly. I swear it’s not what you think. We weren’t laughing at you, promise! I love you.” You looked at him with such sorrow that he almost felt stupid for having such feelings, wanting to pacify you, but he knew you’d hate it if he did so.

“Ah don’t make that face.” He pouted at you slightly, cupping your face in his hands.

“What face?” You ask, eyes wide, cheeks a little squished by his hands and he felt his heartbeat accelerate.

“That face! Makes me want to kiss you.” He whispered, before capturing your lips in a tender kiss, his thumbs stroking your cheekbones.

“Joonie… baby, talk to me.” You pleaded, you hands on his, but he just leaned down to peck your forehead instead.

“Shh, yellow on this convo for now. Let’s just go back to the party. I love you too, pretty girl.” He smoothed your hair once again, before moving to the door. He paused at your lack of movement, turning around to see you frowning as you looked at him. He knew you wanted to talk it out, it was in your nature to solve problems immediately, but Namjoon needed time. If he talked about it now, he would probably get angry, or worse start crying. He needed to think things through. 

“Even when you’re mad?” you said quietly.

“Even when I’m mad. Now let’s go before anyone figures we’re missing.” He took your hand and walked you out, the party none the wiser of your little indiscretion. However, if anyone was paying attention, they would have noticed how off the mood was between the two of you, your smiles not reaching your eyes, and your cups always empty.

---------- 

You stared at the screen, the cursor blinking as you tried to put your thoughts together. This expansion into Japan was going to be the death of you. You had been working on the strategy for months now but nothing appealed to the board who never lost the opportunity to remind you of your age or lack thereof. With your combined shares Harry and you could technically override any of their decisions, but antagonizing the board further would only lead to more problems in the future so you just grinned and bore it. 

You had spent all day at the office trying to figure out the new strategy to beat out the competing company that already existed in Tokyo to get sufficient market share to make the expansion viable. Siwon had been kind enough to be your scribe while you word vomited at him but as you looked at the page now it made little sense. You were kind of embarrassed that he had to type out this bullshit.

Frustrated at your lack of progress, you looked at the clock, and reading the 11:34 pm displayed there with a grimace as you stood up to walk to the kitchenette on your floor. Starting a pot of coffee you talked to yourself as you fidgeted with the cups, stacking them this way and that. You kind of wished Harry would’ve stayed late tonight to talk through the strategy with you but apparently Jen had been pretty annoyed with all his late nights so you had no choice but to do it alone. You didn’t mind it as much usually, you enjoyed the silence of the empty building, enjoyed filling it with your favourite songs as you worked through your thoughts.

Tonight however you were pretty annoyed to be working late. After the party, Namjoon had spent Sunday sulking about, still refusing to talk out what you thought was a minor issue of miscommunication. If you were being honest, part of your frustrations tonight might be due to the fact that a part of your brain kept pestering you with the same thoughts. Mom was right, you moved in and look, already not talking to each other. If you can’t resolve this tiny fight, how will you have a future? He’s probably sick of you already.

Trying to practice your coping mechanisms, you let the thoughts pass through your head. They were just negative thoughts, they did not define you as a person, do not react to them. You took a deep breath, focusing instead on the task ahead.

As you walked to your desk with your third cup of coffee of the evening and thought about your business plans, you started resenting your board more and more. It was one thing to want a flawless strategy but they failed to understand that there was literally no strategy in the world that would be as risk averse as they wanted. They thought you too impulsive, too bull-headed to do something that was low risk. They had the audacity to think that you were building all the riskiest strategies on purpose when in reality to get the outcome you wanted there had to be an equal amount of risk to go with it. Sighing, you started typing your thoughts, bulleted, on the doc as your phone rang.

“Namjoon?” you asked as soon as you picked up the phone, a bit surprised that this is how he was choosing to break his pseudo silent treatment.

“Just called so you’re not startled.” You heard Namjoon twice, once in your speaker and once from right in front of you. Regardless of his efforts, you jumped in your seat to see him standing in front of you. Holding your hand on your heart, you looked up at your boyfriend standing over your desk in a matching pair of grey sweats and sweater, a black mask under his chin as he looked at you with amusement at your reaction. It never failed to endear him how you were easily startled at the smallest things. 

“Did you eat yet?” He asked as he leaned over the desk, his lips puckered. Sighing a yes, you kissed him, feeling your stress reduce at the touch, relieved that he seemed to be more open to communicating now.

“What brings you here?” You asked, reclining back in your seat as Namjoon pulled up a chair next to you.

“I just got done. Thought I’d pick you up.”

“How did you even know I was still here?”

“Boyfriend senses.” He winked, his arm resting on the back of his chair. You raised an eyebrow, skeptical, and really wishing he didn’t go all the way home to come back. “Fine. Siwon texted me. You know it’s bad form to worry your assistant so much he has to call your boyfriend for back up.”

“I’m sorry he texted you.” You leaned forward in your chair with a sheepish smile. Inside however, you were glad Siwon had given Namjoon a push to talk to you. Knowing Siwon you were sure it wasn’t a random concern but probably born out of your talk with him this morning.

He made a noise stating his displeasure at your apology and shaking his head, before reaching out to hold your hand where it lay on your lap. “So when’s this due?”

“Can we talk about Saturday night?” You answered his question with your own, dreading a mood swing, but impatient to explain your side and ease his worries. You really wanted things to go back to normal. Even though it had only been one day, you missed him. He had barely cuddled you in his sleep the last two nights, and you missed the intimacy, and as needy as it sounded in your head, you just wanted him to hold you.

He sighed deeply, leaving your hand to run his hands over his face. With his elbows on his knees, he hunched down, covering his face. He really should let you explain, but he was tired from practice and he didn’t know if he had the mental capacity to deal with an argument. “It’s okay. I’ll get over it.” 

“Please. Let me explain.” You stood from your chair squatting in front of him and pulling his hands away to make him look at you. With another sigh of resignation, Namjoon nodded for you to continue.

“Hoseok doesn’t know anything. He said that as a joke randomly.” You spoke carefully, watching Namjoon’s eyes widen as he frowned. “Honestly he’s been your friend for so long I just assumed you told him that’s why he was looking at me like that. You know I didn’t agree or disagree. I just laughed because of the memory.”

Namjoon felt like an idiot. It was such a simple explanation. He was kicking himself for not thinking about this earlier, for spending a whole day avoiding you. As he looked at the earnesty in your eyes, he wanted to go back in time and smack himself on the head for making you feel guilty over this non-issue.

“I’m a fucking asshole,” he groaned, covering his face as he rolled his chair away from you in shame. You stood, walking over to him before pulling his hands away yet again, sitting in his lap sideways. His hands instinctively went around your waist, making sure you didn’t slip off. 

“No I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed,” you whispered, frowning as you put your arms around his neck, playing with the hair on his nape.

“I’m such an idiot,” he sighed, rubbing his hand on your thigh, his touch sending a comforting warmth through you. “Also, I’m sorry for earlier.”

“For what?”

“Not letting you cum.” He looked so devastated, his lips pulled down by his guilt as he stared at you, that all you could do was giggle. It was silly that he thought some of the best sex you’d had was bad just because you didn’t cum.

“It’s fine you were in your dom persona.” You smoothed his hair as you kissed his cheek, making him shyly turn away from you, before he looked at you with a determination in his eyes.

“No it’s not fine. In all the research I’ve done one thing they always warned against was domming angry or like using it to resolve issues or punish your partner in a way they didn’t know what started the punishment, and I don’t know what came over me. I was mad and it was unfair of me to use our kinks against you.” He ranted, his frown getting deeper as his grip around you got tighter. With all his goofy antics around you usually, you forgot how serious Namjoon could get, and although the two of you had promised each other to be honest, it was still jarring to hear his rant. It meant he had been thinking about his actions and it bothered you that he was feeling guilty. When he stopped to take a breath, you brought his lips to yours, kissing him with all the affection you could muster. It wasn’t hard - showing him you loved him. In fact, it was the easiest thing to do, as you let your lips assure him and ease the storm in his head.

“I’m perfectly okay Joonie. It was hot.” You chuckled as you broke away and met his gaze filled with adoration. You felt lucky to have him in your life, and although this fight didn’t seem to have lasted that long, you missed him. Kissing him at midnight in your office, you felt content, your stress from the day melting away at his touch.

“Still. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you?” He said as he kissed you again. “Let’s go home, baby.” 

You stood and as you packed your stuff, he clung on to you, nuzzling your neck, equally missing your touch. Although you were headed home, you felt it in his arms already.

-

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[uhhhhyandere]

If you're still doing requests how about omegaverse with omega Light and alpha m!reader who's a kickboxer. The reader's and Light's families are close and have high expectations of the two eventually marrying in the future, but the reader has no interest in being tied down and focused solely in his training and career. Lately he's noticed that some of his belongings have gone missing, like an old shirt or his boxing gloves, strangely enough the medication to help control his ruts keep (1/2)

running out quick, but writes it off as him being absentminded. One day he's forced to visit Light at his house and catches his scent forcing the reader into a rut, mating with Light all the while unaware they're under surveillance by the task force but Light finds this highly amusing. Now with mating bite and possibly pregnant, Light is tied to the reader no matter what now. (2/2)

we ain't gonna talk about how this has been sitting in my inbox for more than a year and ain't gonna talk about how i’ve almost had it done for more than a year, then forgot until i was digging through my drafts. no comment. i stink. i know, okay?!?!?!?!?!? AAAAHHH but i had fun finishing it so that’s what matters!! 

6.6k words m!reader x light :) 

warnings: smut! light is a.bottom and that's a hill i’ll die on.

Sweat, blood, and tears. It’s all you’ve ever known, and it’s all you’ve come to love and live for. The adrenaline of the ring, the quick, decisive movements, the thrill of winning, and the lessons learned from losing, it all accelerates your pulse and excites your nerves. Hard work never daunted you. You’ve learned to keep pushing, to run when you can’t walk, to fight when you’re knocked down, and to do whatever it took to come out on top. Your alpha blood craved the victory.

5am runs followed by strength training, then workouts after school was a routine you forced into your system. With your lifestyle, however, there was no other option. Strength. Flexibility. Reflexes. You needed everything to be successful. At the forefront of that “everything,” was commitment. There were things you had to miss because of training: family dinners, parties, club meetings, and more you’ve gotten an earful about for missing, but at least your family understood that boxing was your livelihood, no matter how much they were against it. It wasn’t some hobby you were going to drop when you got older. You wanted to make a career out of it, to be able to fight until you have to retire. 

Of course, that was the plan. There were things, expectations, that naturally got in the way. It wasn’t ideal when your only son wanted to be a boxer of all things. How dangerous, risky, a dream you only have as a child. Well, fuck them, you said. Your dream was going to be your reality, and you couldn’t care less who or what stood in the way. Hard work perseveres in the end. You just had to focus. To get distracted by anything was the risk of losing that future. 

The Yagami’s were a prime risk of losing that future. Your families were intertwined from before you were even born. Friends through their years of schooling and beyond. They married in the same year, moved into houses on the same block, and, of course, had their oldest child in the same year. It was like clockwork from there on out, a script to be naturally followed through the course of time. It only helped all the better when you were born an alpha and Light an omega. 

Light’s and your baby pictures were taken together. Vacations were taken together. Chief Yagami pulled strings at school so you were put into the same class, assigned the same tutor, put in the same prep course, and the same private academy. At that point, you were almost sure your parents wanted to be there when you two undoubtedly mate. Your paths were carved to be identical, linked to the very end, yet so you saw them as so incredibly different. 

However, you and Light were fundamentally different people. He was not a friend you chose, but someone who’s just been there. A constant, a tick on the back of your neck that left you with no choice but to live with its existence. You’ve come to accept the reality that he’s going to be there for the near future, the far future if your parents had anything to say about it. They and the Yagami’s had a matching plan, but while they were audibly planning your wedding, you were conniving a scheme of your own. 

The Koyanagi Invitational. Held at the beginning of January, this tournament-style invitational welcomes only the best of the best in fighters from all over Japan. The winners almost always see themselves on the international stage. It’s a nationally televised program, and you were only one win away from securing your spot in round one after your championship match for your region coming up soon. 

Your time is always dedicated to your passion, but now more than ever. Your trainer, an alum of the invitational himself, has allotted the time you desired to train in the gym at the expense of his other lessons. The trade-off was after your championship, you had to find another place for the time it will take to make up all the canceled lessons with the clients you were replacing for the time being, which shouldn’t be hard to do if—when you win the regional championship. Therefore, your time was acutely cut short for academics, social events, and everything else that was not training, but those were the sacrifices you warned everyone you would be making to come this far and reach even farther. You were not even keeping track of Kira at this point. Even that was on the backburner. What? Were they going to kill you for missing dinner with the Yagami’s for the third time this week? 

“Y/N,” your name was called. Through the surging endorphins of your body, you were able to feel good enough to answer the call from your father from the sweat you were yet to shower off. You’d rather reek on the way home rather than use the gym showers. Dropping your bag from your shoulder, you rub the muscle there as you approach the full table. “You were supposed to be home forty-five minutes ago.” You sighed, dropping your hands back to your sides. “Yeah, sorry, dad. Lost track of time. Coach was fixing my style again. Swarmer has always been good for me, I think. Just refining it.” You didn’t miss the shared look between your parents. 

“Well, it’s a good thing we scheduled this later because we knew you’d do this,” your mother says, low heat in her voice. “Get cleaned up and be down here in no more than ten minutes.” Biting your tongue, you nodded, making eye contact with Light as you turned to grab your bag and follow her request. “You could at least put jeans on.” You weren’t even down the hallway when your mother spoke again. This time, you were not being civil for the company’s sake and didn’t bother concealing your groan.  

“It’s not like we have company over.” The Yagami’s were over for dinner or you were over there at least four times a week. It would be odder to have dinner with just three instead of seven (or five, if you missed due to training or Soichiro because of the Kira case) people around the table. You pulled out the chair they left for you beside Light and lowered yourself into it, immediately taking another drink of water from the gallon water bottle you lugged around. “Or, at least, no one new.”  

“Y/N—,”

“No, he’s quite right. There’s no need to dress up for us. We’re practically family already.” Mrs. Yagami, your savior, laughed. “Light just always does,” which is wildly true. Light had a tendency to always look presentable and put-together no matter where the setting was. Late-night study sessions and other in-house cases were the only occasions you would see him clad in anything comfortable. Then, there was you, in your sweats at all times except when you were forced into your uniform at school. 

Luckily enough, the comparison game was not thrown between the two of you too often. It wasn’t necessary when your parents were convinced you would mate and live the rest of your lives together. An unspoken truth that simmered in the air whenever you all got together. 

“How is your training going anyway, Y/N?” Soichiro was an odd sight at the table anymore. The Kira case was an equivalent time commitment to your championship training, (except he gets paid to almost die. You get into fights willingly) and it was more and more late nights on the investigation team.

Especially now, of all times, with the dead FBI agents from the United States the news mentioned one morning, he was busier than ever. 

“Gets harder and harder, Mr. Yagami. Though, I’m keeping up. With the championship on the seventh, I can’t afford not to. The guy’s a monster from what I’ve heard. Tomorrow we’re watching his match from the semi’s.” Your mother cleared her throat. 

“Soichiro, sorry. We just prefer not to talk about business at the dinner table. Our son has a tendency to talk about fighting at all hours of the day, so we cherish this time where we don’t have to hear about it.” Ignoring her blatancy, you took another drink. 

“Well, I like to hear about it.” It was Light who spoke up. “It’s his passion, with all due respect. Do you not see it when his eyes light up when he describes his feelings or explains his regime? He’s someone with an innate gift he wants to pursue. Not to mention the strength he possesses to live this lifestyle. If anything, you should be proud to hear him talk about it, the time he dedicates. It’s nothing short of awe-striking, what he can do.” Your skin feeling unbearably hot, you blinked a few times and hoped to hide from the admirable line of defense Light brought up for you. Peeking from your pit of embarrassment, you met his eyes, bright and unabashed, and you smiled a silent thank you to him. He, without moving a single facial feature, accepted it. 

Instead of seeing the literal meaning of his words, you knew your parents saw the underlying tone of them. Their son being stood up for by Light Yagami. It must mean Light cared for him. Another step towards the future they have been quietly planning, so they smiled, and you wondered if Light saw through it just as easily as you did. 

He and you never sat down and had a conversation about your parents’ expectations. Whether it was reluctance or the pure awkwardness of it all, it never came up when you were together. It didn’t matter, though, because if you could avoid it, which you could easily with your training, you would. At all costs. You did not have the time for that and would not for anytime soon. 

After dinner, Light and you were pushed to do the dishes, as you always were if you were present. He washed, and you dried and put them away. In the midst of the sink running and the clinking of dishes, you found yourself with the desire to properly thank him outside of the small look you gave him before, but thought twice, three times about it at risk of looking too thankful and soft. “Just say it,” he spoke instead. 

“What?”  

“You look like you have something to say. You’ve glanced at me twenty-three times in the past seven minutes.” Despite the small grin on his face, you still couldn’t help but consider saying “it’s nothing,” which he would undoubtedly disbelieve, and let it blow over. Knowing him, though, he would twist it out of your system anyway, like a lawyer rinsing the truth in a cross-examination. 

“Just—uh thanks, man. For before.” Light laughed, scrubbing in the curve of a bowl. 

“You don’t have to thank me for something like that. You’re the type of person society needs, and to have someone talk down at you for being excited about your dreams is wrong. I was only doing the right thing, and I’d do it again.” You avoided his gaze as he explained, suddenly invested in drying the utensils one-by-one. 

“Well, yeah, means a lot.” 

Was Light’s smell always so nice? Yes, you weren’t going to fool yourself that this was the first time you’ve noticed. You’ve been nearby during one of his heats, and you remember nearly falling out into your own primal senses because of it. If it weren’t for your own reluctant self-control, you’re not sure where that night would have gone to. You’ve managed to deduce his smell to be some sort of chestnut, brown sugar mix. Intoxicating, but undeniably would foster an unwarranted reaction from you if you were too close during those times. 

Not to mention that you’ve noticed Light’s good looks sporadically throughout the past. While he plays tennis, focuses on a particularly confusing calculus problem, biting his lip and twiddling the pencil between his digits, or just smiles at you from across the hall at school, you’ve acknowledged it, but never let it grow to anything else. You didn’t want to. Sure, he was handsome, but you had a million other things to focus on than to be tied down by any sort of relationship. Besides, if worse comes the worse, your self-control is unmatched from your countless hours of training. No single individual could sway you from your path.

“It’s really nothing. Like I said, don’t mention it.” And you didn’t plan on it. Light stayed to finish up homework as well as teach you a good two-thirds of the material before telling you he was heading out on his short walk home after you returned from a quick bathroom break. It was getting close to the bedtime that enabled you to get your full eight hours before 5am.

The closer the championship came, the less you saw of people. You ate breakfast and left earlier, came to school right from the gym, (yes, you resigned yourself to shower in the disgusting stalls) went back to the gym after school, and got home later. It gave you less time to do homework or hang out with anyone that wasn’t your trainer. Good thing you had your good friend Light who insisted it was fine to stay late in your room and catch you up on what you were behind in. 

It only made sense, then, with your exponentially increasing schedule that things started to become hectic. Of course, you were missing more of what you usually missed, but most recently you’ve begun to misplace things. A t-shirt you knew you had in the drawer, your go-to nighttime sweatshirt, a pair of shorts. You figured some might be at the gym or dropped in your transit from one place to another, but your sweatshirt never left your house and you sure as hell never left it in the hamper to get washed. 

It was just your busy schedule, you and your parents agreed. You needed to step back and relax if you were beginning to lose things. Plus, you were hardly sleeping with your anxiety building for the coming fight and the late nights you were practically forcing Light to pull with you.

“You don’t have to do this with me all the time,” you mentioned one night. “If I’m messing with your schedule or anything, I know it’s probably super inconvenient for you to do this so often. I never asked—.”

“You didn’t have to,” he answered. “It’s no trouble. I offered, after all. It’s not like I see you much outside of these sessions anyway. Even at school, you seem to always be in a hurry. I’m actually pretty worried about you. How much sleep are you getting? Are you eating enough? Drinking?” You waved him off. 

“You know I always do. I have to eat and drink enough to do this in the first place. I don’t carry a gallon bottle around for the gains, after all.”  

“And your sleep?” You glanced towards your window. 

“Needs work these days.” A small whack resounded off your temple. Surprised, you watched the weapon be flipped between the assaulter’s fingers in front of you. “What was that for?” 

“Don’t be stupid. I get you want to work hard for your match coming up but killing yourself with all this hard work and no rest will undoubtedly lead to your defeat. It’s common sense. You should know that more than anyone.” You set your pen on the desk, the fatigue weighing your eyes down. “Even your dark circles are even showing.” You relaxed your shoulders. “You don’t have to put up your tough guy front with me.”  

“You don’t have to put up your perfect student façade either.” You paused. “Sorry. Uncalled for. You’re right, as usual. I love it though. I want to be the best, and this guy I’m coming up against? He’s a maniac. This is the first tournament he hasn’t gone below the belt or spit on an opponent. Who knows when he’ll start, though? I have to be quick. This fight cannot last long, or this guy will injure me. I can’t afford that if I’m moving on to Koyanagi.” You laughed. “You’re really right. You know I’ve been losing stuff left and right? Old shirt here, that black sweatshirt I wear all the time? Gone. No idea. Some tape in my bag. It’s like some leprechaun is stealing my stuff.” 

“They’ll turn up. Maybe if you get a proper night’s sleep tomorrow and train only in the afternoon, you’ll remember where you left them.” You groaned, stretching in your spot and allowing yourself to slouch against the wall you leaned against and to shut your eyes. “Hey, at least finish this last problem and sleep in your bed.” 

“Don’t want to. I’ll sleep right here.” 

And you did, because Light Yagami was too weak to lift you up.

A sore back and neck now healed, you found yourself wrapping your hands for the long-awaited match in the locker room. Heart already beginning to pound, you tried to find solace in the silence around you, but all you could hear was the rhythm against your ribs. 

“You ready, kid?” Your coach asked from the entranceway. “Two minutes.” You nodded, reaching into your bag and finding odd space in there. No fucking way. Though your old boxing gloves were present, your current ones were not. God, another thing my dumbass lost. There was no time to sit and shit on yourself. I just lost the fucking match for myself, damn it! You didn’t think about it long before you exited the locker room and into the blur of voices and music on the other side. Your opponent stood on the other side of the room, taller and wider than yourself. “Size ain’t nothing kid. Put your confidence into work too here. Don’t forget the mental part of the fight, ya hear me?” 

You didn’t. In the crowd, you saw your family and the Yagami’s looking either nervous or excited. The camera crews around swung cameras across the area of the mat. As your name was announced and you entered the ring, the lights began to move around you. The crowd cheered and yelled in excitement. Your coach encouraged you from behind you.

Sweat, blood, and tears. It is what has gotten you this far, and it will continue to bring you higher. You did not train and work to lose right where you should be beginning. As your opponent entered from the other corner, the familiar sense of adrenaline rushed your veins. Yes, you could do this. 

Ten  

Nine 

Eight 

Seven

Six 

Five

Four 

Three 

Two 

One 

K.O.

You woke up in your bed the next morning. A white ceiling, white walls beeping a steady heartbeat around you. Then, it all came coming back. The elbow, all the dirty moves used against you pounded in your skin. Out of everything, your head ached the most. Tiny explosions cascaded your brain as you rolled your head along your pillow. 

“You’re awake!” It was your father. “Your mother’s worried sick. That stupid asshole. Why they didn’t disqualify him after the first dirty hit, I’ll never know, but you had a fair fight.” You squinted through the migraine.

“…Did I win?”

“From a DQ, yeah. Hardly counts, and I’m sure you hardly feel like it. The guy was a nutcase. The kind that takes out their aggression through the sport rather than respecting it. You’re gonna be out for the count for a while, you know that, right? Grade three concussion. You’re going to have to take a break. Me and your trainer already called every gym around and put you on the blacklist—,”

“But dad—,”

“Nope, I’m not going to hear it. You are not allowed to even think about working out or training. We are going to keep our eyes on you at all times because we all know how you think and what you’re going to try to pull. Recovery is the most important part of an injury. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll never get better in time for the invitational. Got it?” You guffawed. 

“You can’t keep eyes on me at all times.” 

“Not me, personally, but there is someone with a similar schedule to you that you happen to go to school with and happens to live around the block.” You glared at the man. 

“You recruited Light into helping you, didn’t you?” He shrugged and took the steps forward to stand at the foot of the bed. 

“It’s more so he volunteered. He knows just as well as the rest of us you need to be watched or you’ll train at some faraway gym or secluded area. It’s for your best interest. You’ll go to school with him and he’ll take you back to their place until we get home—.”

“I don’t need a goddamned babysitter,” you bit out. 

“On the contrary, would you not sneak off to train despite your condition?” You shook your head. You were in no condition to be having an argument, yet you stood your ground. 

“It’s the lack of trust for me.”

“Yeah, we don’t. Not when it comes to putting your health first. Light was even telling us about how you’re behind in school too. With a concussion, you’ll need help anyway. Discussion over.” If your headache could get any worse, you were pretty sure it would have. 

Not that you thought that he was kidding, but you weren’t expecting the doorbell to ring so early as you brushed your teeth, a towel wrapped around your waist from your shower. Spitting quickly, you left wet footprints across the wood floor as you approached the door. 

“By god,” you muttered, opening the door. “You really were enlisted, huh?” Light shrugged. 

“Well, by the looks of it, you didn’t go out earlier to work out than usual in order to look like you didn’t, unless you’re showering from a quick one between when your parents left for work and I got here.” You rolled your eyes, opening the door wider and stepping aside to allow him room to enter.

“Funny. No, I just got up. Guy really did me in one, and you don’t actually have to listen to my parents. You know I’m not going to go do anything that can put my recovery at risk.” He slid his bag off his shoulder and set it on the couch. 

“I know you, and the second you don’t wake up in pain, you’re gone. Sitting back and doing nothing kills you, after all. I don’t need to have known you my entire life to tell you that.” The side of your lip quirked. 

“Yeah, whatever. Let me get some clothes on,” you turned around and returned to the bathroom. Putting on the folded clothes you left in the corner, you grabbed your bag from your bedroom and met with the boy digging into his bag. “Ready, babysitter? I’m going to call you that all day, by the way. No matter who we’re with.”

“Great. I can’t wait.” …

It wasn’t so bad, having a sitter. You mean, you were with Light when you weren’t training, anyway. Going to his house every day after school was even normal, mind the odd words being thrown around the school by the observers. No one confronted you about it, which came as no surprise. Who was going to confront a boxer about those kinds of rumors? 

Light didn’t seem to mind, either. As one of the top bachelors of the whole school, you were sure he had to be aware of them. Just like your parents’ desired future for the two of you, you never spoke of it. Perhaps he was as nervous to bring it up as you were, or at least as reluctant. Still, nothing would change. If he would not speak of it, neither would you.

You never suspected, however, for that dam of silence to ever break in either of you. …

It was nearing the end of your recovery when the only thing between you and getting back in the ring was a doctor’s okay. Your parents and the Yagami’s were going out for a “night on the town,” quote-on-quote. Sayu was at a sleepover, and your parents ordered you to make your way over to Yagami household. 

“It’s getting close to you being cleared. No point in ruining it now, Y/N. Just go. You probably have work he has to teach you anyway.” You glared at your parents as they stood adamant. “Go. We will have him drag you there.” “As if he could,” you muttered.

“Let me in!” Two minutes of knocking, you resigned to lifting up the third rock from the right and grabbing the key from the underside. After you broke in three times in a week at age seven, you would think they’d change the key’s location. 

You set your possible overnight bag on the couch. On the main floor, it was quiet, which wasn’t all surprising. Light has been spending more time in his bedroom than ever. That was saying a lot, itself, because he was always in there in the first place. Perhaps he wasn’t expecting you. You grinned.

Footsteps light, you tiptoed up the stairs and turned the corner. There were small noises coming from the other side of his door that you could hear from the far side of the hall. As you creep closer, you couldn’t necessarily distinguish what the noises were. Nonetheless, it was clue enough he was too preoccupied to notice the huge scare you’re about to give him. 

Hand on the doorknob, you turned it and screamed as you entered.

Though, turns out you were the one that got more scared. Not in fright, but of shock. Light, however, remained composed as ever despite the position you caught him in.

His smell overpowered the room. You nearly were kicked back from it. Back bent upwards off the bed, his mouth agape with small guttural moans and breathless gasps escaping it, all while his hand worked every so slowly stroking his cock. His other hand fisted what you recognized as your lost sweatshirt covering his nose and mouth. Above the material, his eyes were trained on yours, head rolled to the side as his motion continued. 

“Jesu—what? Is that my…” Looking around the slightly torn up room, you recognized t-shirts, tape, and even your current pair of boxing gloves lying around the room or on his bed. “I-I don’t…” His fist threw the sweatshirt to the side as the hand came down hard on the bed. 

“You don’t—mmh—what? Get it? I know you’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer at times, but you can put this together, can’t—uh—you?” His grin grew wider and more wicked as he took in your reaction. “I’ll say, you have an unspeakable amount of willpower, but I think—ah—I’ve had enough of it.” 

“What do you mean? Did—did you plan this?! To trigger my fucking—ugh.” He rolled his eyes. Whether it was from pleasure or annoyance, you couldn’t tell, and your mind wasn’t really in a state to think about it under the current conditions. 

He had you trapped. His smell corrupted the very air around you and seeped into your skin. It was overpowering. You could feel your rut, your ever so clandestine, rut-stained self, emerging from its thick chains. You couldn’t even take a step backward or turn to open the unlocked door. All of your nerves screamed at you to take him. To make him scream so that all he could say, all he could even think about, was you, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t. 

Because this isn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want to be linked with him outside of your parents’ desire for you and him to be wed one day. This was the path to that future, the future that distracted you from your goal.

Light shifted to stand above your lack and bent form that was on its last legs before the rut would take over. A hand softly stroked your head, as a parent would stroke a child’s, and set itself under your chin. It nudged upwards, forcing your gaze to his. At such close vicinity, the scent, his scent, him, it was all you could perceive. 

“You really are the worst. The epitome of holding yourself—your desires—back. I know you don’t want what our parents want. I know the thought of something tearing you from your dream kills you. I know that you think that this,” he motioned between the two of you, “would be the exact definition of a distraction, so you’ve pushed it all down. Never acknowledging its existence. Well, do you acknowledge it now?” 

You didn’t answer. You were nervous about what would come out of your mouth if anything did. Your willpower would die with the next exhale you took. Annoyed with your last stand, he dragged his hand from your neck to your shoulder and shoved your weak state down so you were on your knees. He leaned down so his breath ghosted over your lips.

“You really put on a show for me, you know. Answering the door with only your towel on back then. Deep down, I think you want this too. Deep down, you know that this was bound to happen. Just like your pain in a fight, you ignore it. You’re not a complicated individual to figure out. Just give in. What’s the harm in letting someone else take the reins for once?” He stared down at you, you felt it, but you refused to meet it, choking on shallow breathes in order not to inhale his scent too much. You remained silent, using your leftover strength to power onto your two feet. 

“Not going to talk? Fine. Your mouth could—,” you didn’t even allow him the time to finish the sentence or pull through on what you knew was going to be his statement as you rushed to shove him rough enough to force him to fall on his ass on the floor next to the bed. He looked up at you from his seated position, eyes wide and excited. You seemed more shocked than him and took a step backward towards the door. His eyes, yellowed and urgent, followed your movements. 

Swallowing, you willed yourself to extend your hand down as a form of apology: one you were unable to voice in current conditions. Light’s hand, soft and delicate, grasped is softly at first, allowing you to lift him to stand just over the bed, then squeezed, brought his other hand to your forearm. and tugged your unsuspecting form onto the bed with him, so you unwillingly straddled his legs. 

He was quick to surge upward and lock his arms around your neck. Meeting his lips was kissing the devil himself: everything about it was all-consuming, hot, wrong. Light did not start out slow, just as he was with everything else. With guns blazing, his tongue tore open your lips and invaded your now open maw with vigor and power your conscious self could not meet. He brought his hands to your ass and tugged you forward to push your bodies tight together. Breaking only to breathe and begin to force your shirt up your abdomen with his cold fingers. You helped. God, you shouldn’t have, but your clothes were getting so hot. As soon as the article was off, Light latched to your neck, teeth quick to bite. You gasped, tilting your head back to reveal more skin to him. He brought his hand up and tugged on your hair, eliciting another groan from your lips. 

“For someone who abhorred the thought of us together, you seem to be enjoying yourself.” His mouth continued down your form, biting the skin, and then licking the newly affected area. By now, you could feel your length suffocating even under the looseness of sweatpants. The undeniable urge for relief, for him, the one who was adjusting you to stand in front of him. An obvious, wordless request to rid yourself of your confines. “Go on. I’m waiting,” he said, leaning back to show his nude-self off. His cock glistening with a delightful mix of slick and precum. Inviting. Warning. Waiting. Jesus, you needed your fucking pants off! 

Hurrying to get your legs bare, you allowed your own slick to make its first drops onto the floor. Light did not make any moves, only locking his eyes onto yours. A silent argument, but you were in no mood to trifle in such affairs with your mind clouded. Surging forward, you would have been able to straddle him once more would it not be for his hand solidly placed on your abdomen. “I said, I’m waiting, you sex-craved beast. Tell me how much you need this. How much you want to be mine. To follow the path carved for you with me. I have enough here to get me through my heat, but you don’t get ruts too often, do you?” Why and how this twig held so much authority, you would never know. 

“Just let me—,”

“Let you?” He laughed. “Do you think you’re the one in charge here? What? You think because you’re physically stronger, because you’re an alpha, that you get dominance here?” His eyes, though yellow, spoke true on his words. They demanded compliance. “Now, be a good boy, and beg to fuck me. Beg to stick your cock inside me.” To stress his point, he ground upwards ever so slightly. You hissed at the contact. 

“God, please just let me—please just—fuck. Light, I need to fuck you. I need to take you, to mate you, to—fuck—I want you to scream for me, and only me. I want your throat raw from how loud and how much you scream for me.” You gripped the headboard above him while your other hand trailed down his lithe body coated in sweat until it reached his hole. His slick dripped from there due to his heat so that your finger slipped right in. Light moaned. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Please,” you slipped a second, then the third digit in. Light’s teeth dug into his bottom lip as his back arched to meet the thrust of your fingers. 

“Shit, it feels so good, Y/N, alpha. Go on. Mate me. Be mine forever just as I’d be yours.” You adjusted yourself to settle comfortably between his legs and used your hands to lift them, bending him in half to expose himself to you. You hissed as his first squeeze around you before you continued to sink in. Shared moans filled the room as you cursed out for each other. “Yes, feel how tight I am for you, how your cock was meant for me.” Heat shot through every nerve fiber of your being, and you did not bother to begin your thrust languidly. Instead, you rushed to build to a quick, pounding pace. Your rut pushing you to go deeper, and faster as he tightened around your length. Your hips met his groan with an audible smack, and, at a certain angle, Light cried out. “What are you… waiting for…? Bite… me. Claim me, you beast.” 

You could barely hear his words through your focus, your feeling, and, after a short while, even Light could not manage words. Only gasps, moans, and a few small screams escaped his lips and you sought your release. Closer, and closer, and closer… fuck. You ground your pelvis into his. 

“Shit, I’m gonna—oh, fuck,” you whispered, a quiet worship into the air as you allowed yourself to empty within him. You pulled out slowly, watching small amounts of liquid viscously drool out. Light’s skin was flushed deeply red, sweat glistening off his skin, and cock red, pulsing, and heavy against his torso. His labored breaths from his wide, open mouth forced his stomach to rapidly grow and shrink before he quickly regained himself and focused his eyes on you.

“What? Do you think I’m done with you?” He smirked, still breathing heavily, chest rising and falling. “Come here.” You let his legs go to allow him to surge forward and capture your lips with his own. “I’m still rock hard. Why don’t you do down there and do something about it, hm?” Light supported his point by guiding your hand to grasp his cock. “Go on.” 

His scent was all-consuming. Your nose trailing the skin of his cock as it followed your tongue up and down his length. You swirled your tongue around this head while your hand worked the base of his cock. “Eyes on me, alpha. Eyes on your omega, now.” Yellowed eyes dared you to look away. “Go on, and take me in.” Light gasped as you swallowed him. “Fuck, fuck, yeah. Now, suck. Yes. Just like that. Bob your head—just like,” he grasped your head and guided your movements, “that, yes. Damn, you’re a terribly slow study with math, but fuck, you learn to suck cock quickly.”

You followed his instructions, hand lightly teasing his balls, mouth taking him deep then pulling back, until you began to move on your own volition. “Oh, yes. I’m gonna- fuck. You better fucking swallow all of me. I don’t want to see a single drop on the bed.” Light watched with sick delight as you struggled to take his spend in. He was quick to reach down when you retracted your mouth, sealing your jaw shut with his hand until he saw your adam’s apple bob. “Oh, good boy. Now,” ignoring your painfully—once again—hard cock, he pulled you back up, “claim me. Bite me, alpha. Do it.” 

“N-no, I can’t.” 

“You can and you will. Go ahead.” Light moved his locks and stretched his neck out to you. There was nothing more you wanted to do than sink your teeth into the smooth stretch, to have your scent follow him as he walked around the school every day. “Bite me, Y/N. Do it now,” and you did. Light howled in pleasure as copper filled your mouth. You licked the raw skin before sinking you teeth in deeper and sucking what you can. 

“Light,” you pulled back, eyes blown wide. “I—,” he shushed you by tightly gripping your cock with a wide smile. 

“It all worked perfectly,” he said, beginning to stroke your length in tandem with his words. “I thought replacing your gloves would cause you to lose, to grieve, to stay here, but when I heard of your opponent and talked with him just a bit before your match, angering him about what kind of person you were, I had to. I had to.” You bit your bottom lip, unable to articulate words as he picked up his pace, tightened and loosened his grip, and brought in his other hand. “It hurt to see you injured, but I had to what had to be done. I needed you to make me yours. You don’t belong with anyone else besides me. Your dreams, your work ethic, your body, your mind, they’re all mine, and now, with this,” he motions to the raw, bloodied skin of his neck, “my plan has come to fruition beautifully. It’s like the universe deemed it so.” Your breathing escalated. His thumb moved to tease the head of your cock. “You’re all,” he laughed, “fucking mine.” 

He met your lips the same time your release spilled into the open air. “Now,” he leaned back, “let’s keep going, hm?”

#light x reader #yandere light yagami x reader #m!reader #x m!reader #death note fic #yandere death note #Light Yagami #death note #tw yandere #tw: yandere #tw: dubcon #tw dubcon #tw: a/b/o

[suganovakawa]

two anons asked for more introverted and shy! reader .

Omg the headcanon w suga was so good TT I wanted to ask if you could do the same one with kags;-; 💞 like the introverted shy one

Oh my goooddddd the Suga one was so cuteeeee! Can I request the same one w kuroo? ;-; if not it’s totally fine!

and you know what ? i love this headcanon so much so i’m gonna do more of this . i hope you don’t mind i put both in one , it’s easier to post !

𝐒𝐇𝐘 , 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 !

karasuno and nekoma boys protect you because of your shyness !

— check out my masterlist !!

you being a shy introvert has never affected these boys’ feelings for you . if anything , they feel more obligated to keep you safe and protected ! these guys will do everything to make sure you’re supported and loved .

a / n : ehehehehe as a somewhat shy person myself i needed this

holy moly this came out so much longer than i originally planned , especially tobio’s — enjoy 😭

anyways ! if you want to be part of my general taglist - just ask ! and be specific if you want to be updated for certain things ( just headcanons , just scenarios , etc ) 🥺

tobio kageyama

both of you are extremely shy but somehow you make your relationship work perfectly

well , tobio isn't shy , per se - he's just extremely awkward

shoyo was literally the one who had to do most of the communication between you and him before you two became a thing

kags became brave enough to ask you out himself after countless weeks of psyching himself up for it

he was beyond thankful when you said yes , his confidence was boosted now that he conquered his fear of confessing to you

kageyama is very understanding of your shyness - he won't ever make you do anything you're uncomfortable with , and will always make sure you feel safe when you two are out together

as more of an introvert himself , he prefers to spend time with you in private , so it's a win-win situation for the two of you in that case

you love to cuddle with tobio when it's just you two - he's become accustomed to you just climbing on top of him whenever and just making yourself at home

hinata was the one who encouraged you to meet the rest of the volleyball team - kags hit him on the head when he mentioned it

" BOKE ! THEY'RE SHY ! BE CONSIDERATE OF THEIR FEELINGS ! "

" no , it's okay tobio !! i'd love to meet your team ! "

he said o-o ??

" really , y/n ? you'll come to practice to meet everyone ? "

" y-yeah ! i'm sure it's not too bad . and maybe i could watch you practice too , if that's allowed ? "

" OMG KAGEYAMA PLEASE LET Y/N WATCH US PRACTICE IT WOULD BE SO COOL TO HAVE THEM THERE WE SHOULD TOTALLY - "

" SHUT UP DUMBASS IT'S THEIR CHOICE IF THEY WANNA WATCH "

yes you wanted to watch , but working your way up to meet them was a terrifying experience

what if they didn't like you ?

you mentioned your fear to tobio after school , who shook his head with a smile

" they're going to love you , y/n . you'd be surprised with how accepting they are . hinata and i told you about our first day , right ? "

" yes , yes you did "

WOAH A BUZZ CUT GUY OPENED THE DOOR

you jumped behind kageyama as the bald guy started yelling at him about who knows what , you were too spooked to listen

shoyo was already at the gym , and noticed you hiding behind your boyfriend

" guys , guys ! that's kageyama's s.o. ! the one hiding behind him ! "

did hinata forget you're shy or something like wtf dude

you peeked out from behind kags , going pale as a whole sea of tall men stared right back at you

" everyone , this is y/n . y/n , this is my volleyball team . " taking you by the hand , tobio kept you close to him as he pulled you to his side

everyone collectively said hi , quietly to not overwhelm you

" damn kageyama , already cuffed as a first year , huh ? " this short dude with a blond tuft in front of his forehead patted him on the shoulder , and you watched as tobio struggled to reply , his cheeks going pink in embarrassment

you stayed away from the third years , as they had this powerful presence around them that intimidated you - especially that guy in the man bun , he's terrifying

you kept your distance from tsukishima , too - he's tall , sassy , and very scary

thankfully kiyoko was soft spoken enough to make you feel comfortable with being left with her - WTF WHO IS THAT INCOMING GROWN MAN HIDE

wait it's just the coach - NEVERMIND FALSE ALARM

you had never seen kageyama play volleyball until now - you heard about his middle school reputation , but he felt self conscious about it . so , you hardly ever brought it up in conversation

watching him in action was like falling for him all over again

the way he handled the ball so easily ; he could probably set in his sleep if he wanted to

and that quick attack - like damn , shoyo and tobio really are the dream team

after practice , WOOO BOY you were all over your him

practically gawking over everything you saw during practice - like DAMN , that setter is your boyfriend

you begged him to let you watch karasuno practice again , you'd end up warming up to the others eventually - you had him and hinata for support

he felt shy with how excited you were to watch him practice , but agreed to let you come to practice with him from now on

" tobio , you're so cool !! i wanna learn how to do the amazing things you do "

" cutie . i'd love to teach you sometime , y/n .

tetsurou kuroo

needless to say , tetsurou is anything but shy

how you managed to snag a catch like kuroo is beyond you

he likes - no , loves - your soft atmosphere , the peace that your presence brings him

he was literally a magnet to you in his quest of wooing you

the moment you even appeared in the same room for a second he’d end up right there with you

even if he was clingy in a sense , he respected your shyness and your boundaries , and would step away if he felt like you were uncomfortable with him

yes we stan gentleman kuroo anyway

eventually his charismatic tendencies and alluring charms got to you and you began to enjoy his company more and more

yes , you agreed to becoming his s.o. , only if he understood that you would be sometimes too shy to go out places with him

he didn’t care , he didn’t care if all you two did was stay at home — this boy was over the moon that you were now officially his

the first thing he did was brag to his team lmao

did i mention that nekoma was betting on him being able to get you ?

kenma and lev owed yamamoto yen for being kuroo’s only supporter BFHSJNFNF

yaku took it a step further and told tetsu to bring you here — to which he internally panicked

he wasn’t planning on introducing you to the others so early , you two were still trying to get in the groove of being in a relationship

but after being pestered by literally everyone else on the team , he finally gave in and agreed to ask you the next time he saw you

he sugar coated it to the max when he saw you the next day

“ y/n , my absolute darling , i know you said you’re a shy little cutie and all , but — ”

“ tetsu , please just tell me what you need from me . ”

LMAOOOO you can read the third year like a book ; he shut up immediately when you shot an eyebrow upwards

“ i wasn’t planning to introduce you this early but , the guys from my volleyball team want to meet you . today , after school , preferably . ”

y/n.exe has stopped working

“ baby , baby ! you don’t have to , i swear ! i’m not gonna push you to do anything you don’t want , they just want to meet you in person once , is all . you never have to go again if you decide to go only one time , i promise . ”

hhhhhhhhh why is tetsurou like this

“ fine , i’ll go today . i have nothing to do after school anyway . but after that , no more . i can only take so much , you know that . ”

he punched his fists in the air before snatching a kiss to your temple

“ thank you , baby ! you won’t regret meeting them , i promise . ”

it took a lot of psyching yourself up to actually go through with this

but kuroo looked so happy when you agreed , you didn’t wanna let him down :(

so you two met up after school — he was already with kenma

you already met kenma in the past , so seeing him didn’t bother you ; he was an introvert too so he understood how you felt

“ hi , y/n . i’m surprised you can keep up with kuroo the way you do . ”

“ it’s strenuous sometimes , but worth it . ”

aww look at you two bonding — even if it was at kuroo’s expense , he looked like he was about to explode in tears of joy

that moment of peace left the moment the gym doors bashed open — WHO THE FGIDKFK WAS STANDING AT THE DOOR

BIG SCARY DUDE WITH WHITE HAIR

“ KENMA KENMA KENMA KENMA CAN YOU PLEAAAAAAASE SET ME SOME BALLS ”

“ not now , lev . ”

oh my god he saw you

no turning back now

the so-called lev widened his eyes , his jaw dropped for a few seconds before running back into the gym

“ GUYS , GUYS ! HE DID IT ! HE BROUGHT Y/N ! ITS HAPPENING ! ”

kuroo appeared like a deer in headlights as you looked at him dumbfoundedly

“ tetsurou . what , and i mean what , is going on ? ”

you watched as someone much much smaller than him — you recognized yaku , he was your classmate — literally kick lev across the back , causing him to fall over

“ they’re a rowdy bunch , y/n . but they won’t lay a hand on you , i assure you . they’ve got much more bark than bite . if they even do have a bite . ”

kenma answered you before kuroo could ; he was blubbering away with incoherent excuses answers you couldn’t even understand

a dude with a mohawk came up to inspect you , and you screamed

tetsurou slapped him away , before wrapping his arms around you protectively

“ don’t go near y/n ! they’re very shy , so please be careful ! ”

this is so embarrassing you might just die

kenma and yaku made sure everyone else yamamoto and lev gave you personal space

once they were all settled down , you actually thought they were a nice bunch — it also helped to know that lev was a first year , it made him appear much less scary

kuroo insisted that you stay for practice , and after some pestering from him and the rest of the team , you agreed

watching them practice was not what you expected

where was tetsurou kuroo and what did they do to him

you didn’t even recognize your boyfriend as he took his rightful role as captain on the court , helping the others and giving pointers wherever needed

the others fell in place , too — watching everyone practice was totally different to how they acted before

you were actually mesmerized , watching them — you didn’t even realize practice was over until kuroo walked over to you and told you that it was over

“ i-it’s over already ? ”

“ yeah , baby . it’s done . did you enjoy it ? ”

“ yeah . . . yeah , i did . i enjoyed it a lot , actually ! ”

“ well , if you’re up for it , the manager spot is very much open . but you don’t have to take it , i know you said this would be the only time you’d come with me . ”

oh no no no you were not gonna miss a chance to be mesmerized like that again

“ y’know what , tetsu ? i want to be the manager . sign me up . ”

cue a screaming yamamoto and long legs lev jumping for joy as tetsurou grinned like crazy at your response

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #hq #karasuno #tobio headcanons #tobio imagine #tobio x reader #tobio kageyama #hq tobio #tobio #kageyama headcanons #kageyama x reader #nekoma #kuroo tetsuro headcanons #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo scenarios #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x you #kuroo testuro #tetsurou x reader

[immortalcoelacanth]

Beyond the Walls, Chapter 1: Seeking Shelter (Of the Emotional and Physical Kind)

*does a little dance*

As I slowly work through chapter 5 of Between the Walls, I decided to give into the immense urge and create a oneshot/bonus content spin off called Beyond the Walls! Prepare for fluff! Hurt and comfort! And an eventual Hermitcraft crossover because I will generate the content I wish to see in the world!

Word count: 2128

Summary: Not long after settling in with Techno, Tommy discovers an unfortunate side effect of being a borrower in a tundra environment. The unbearable cold. 

Tommy had a problem.

Well, it would be more accurate to say that Tommy had many problems. He lived with someone who could very easily kill him. He still needed to find a way to reunite with Tubbo and get back to Borrowton. He had no idea how to get back to his old home, if he could even call it that, and still needed to come up with a plan to get to his friend.

And, perhaps the worst problem of all, he didn’t have a proper source of heat.

Despite living pretty close to the fireplace that Technoblade had made the borrower could not actually create his own source of heat, unless he wanted to risk accidentally burning everything down. If that did end up happening he knew for a fact he would get kicked out with barely a moment’s notice for lowering Techno’s “property value”, or whatever that meant. This left him relying on the fireplace in the corner of the main room as his source of heat to fight off the chill of the tundra.

Unfortunately for him, there were times where the fire went out and that chill started to sneak in again.

Technoblade was, understandably, not at all bothered by these moments. He was either outside doing… something, or was perfectly fine thanks to his fancy cape, layers of clothing, and the immense amount of heat he seemed to produce.

The hybrid was like a living furnace, while Tommy was the exact opposite.

He got cold easily, really easily, and had always hated it when it snowed at Borrowton. He had many memories of huddling with Tubbo around their furnace, wrapped in many layers of blankets, and still shivering. Now that he was stuck here with his pathetic collection of resources, primarily things he had snagged from the hybrid’s chest, and no real way to keep himself warm. Sure, he had stolen some wool and used that to make a nest, as well as wrapping himself in the too thin blanket that he had been given while being exiled, but it failed horribly and he still felt cold.

Which was why Tommy was currently staring at Techno, sleeping away in his warm bed, and thinking about what he should do.

The fireplace was out, he had no means to light the giant furnaces in the main room or the flimsy furnace he had made for himself, and he did not dare risk trying to light a fire in his own home, so that left him with one option. An option that could easily lead to his death and put him in one of the most embarrassing situations he had ever been in.

Getting closer to Techno and stealing some of his body heat.

… Just thinking about his stupid idea filled him with a mixture of dread and shame. He had no problem with physical contact, he had hugged Tubbo many times and gotten an equal amount of hugs from his friend in return, but this was different. This was him putting himself in danger, exposing not just a physical vulnerability that could result in him getting crushed, but an emotional vulnerability too.

These worries filled his mind as he got closer and closer to Techno’s bed. Several times he froze when the hybrid shifted in his sleep, fearing that he was on the verge of waking up. Every creak of the floor and natural groan of the house left the borrower cringing. He felt scared, but the promise of warmth kept him moving. After climbing up the bedpost connected to the headboard of the bed, he found himself standing in front of Techno’s face.

There was, thankfully, space between them, but the borrower still froze as the reality of what he was about to do dawned on him. He quietly wondered to himself when he would get used to being around someone so… so incomprehensibly massive.  

Slowly, Tommy crept across the bed and approached the slumbering hybrid. The soft surface dipped beneath him with every step he took, and he could feel each exhale, the warm breath ruffling his hair. Anxiety built up in him. At this point he had not physically been close to Techno all that often and he was still more than a little intimidated by his presence. And if the hybrid ended up waking up while he was nearby…

He didn’t want to think about what might happen, the teasing or what retribution might look like if he ended up angering Techno.

However, he needed to do this. He needed to get at least one good night’s sleep instead of the sporadic naps he usually had. He was tired, cold, and more stressed than he would like to admit.  

And so very, very lonely.

Once he reached the edge of the blanket he slipped under it, heart stuttering in his chest as his perspective shifted. After laying down, and seeing how much more Techno’s still form loomed over him, he curled up while deliberately facing away from the hybrid, and tried to sleep.

This… this was better. The blanket was nice and heavy, locking in the heat around him, but it failed to generate its own warmth and just resulted in the borrower continuing to tremble thanks to the cold.

It sucked!

He let out a frustrated growl as he tried, and failed, to dramatically fling the heavy blanket off him. All he ended up doing was slapping at the bulky fabric before squirming out from under it. Feeling colder than ever now that he was back out in the open air, he promptly wrapped his arms around himself and tried to ignore the chattering of his teeth as he continued shivering.

Shivering, until another gust of warm air rolled over him.

Technoblade.

…

Ooooooh noooooo.

Absolutely not! There was no way in hell he was going to try getting any closer to him than he had to be! Besides, the thought of… of cuddling someone other than Tubbo was absolutely humiliating! He would rather spend the rest of the night dealing with the cold than resort to such a desperate measure.

However, another gust of warm air quickly had him changing his mind.

For once in his life, Tommy carefully took his time as he got closer and closer to his target. The tension that left his hands trembling and shoulders rigid started to fade as the heat radiated by Techno started to sink into him. Reluctance replaced by an eagerness that begged him to get as close as possible, the borrower paused and weighed his options. He could, of course, just lay down beside the hybrid, but that left him open to being crushed if Techno rolled over in his sleep. Using the pillow would probably result in a similar fate, or him being immediately seen and getting in trouble.

But then he noticed where one of Techno’s hands was.

Curled up close to the hybrid’s chest, yet still having more than enough space for someone his size to lay there, it was the only spot where Tommy didn’t see himself getting crushed or caught instantly.

Which was pretty iconic all things considered.

He was hesitant, who wouldn’t be, at the thought of essentially sitting in Techno’s hand and trying to get some decent sleep, but the choice was looking more and more tempting as he thought about how warm and cozy it would be. Besides, he had to be a heavy sleeper, right?! None of his nighttime tunneling had ever seemed to disturb the hybrid while he slept, so surely he wouldn’t notice anything!

Plan now firmly in mind, Tommy set out to complete his mission. Still being as careful as he could make himself be, he slipped over Techno’s forearm. Landing in the open space and partially trapped by the arm behind him and the chest in front of him, the borrower was relieved to realize this would function as the perfect escape route in case anything happened.

As long as Techno didn’t move, of course.

Now feeling more comfortable and confident, he crept towards the hand in front of him. He stared at it, eyes narrowing as he tried to think of the best way to execute his plan. There was the obvious option of climbing into the partially open hand, but just thinking about it made him feel so weird.

Just… fuck!

This whole thing was so weird! Weird and foreign and a situation he never thought he would find himself in, and it left his stomach feeling like it was doing flips! He felt so nervous, full of energy, and strangely excited at the same time. The anticipation fueled by adrenaline left him frozen in place, legs practically vibrating as he struggled to both move and not move. And there he stayed, frozen in place by his own buzzing anxiety, until a loud snore that startled him resulted in him stumbling both literally and figuratively into Techno’s clutches.

Unfortunately, this was the moment where things started to go wrong.

A quiet, fearful whine escaped Tommy as everything around him moved, Techno once again shifting in his sleep. The hand behind him was pressed against his back, forcing him closer to the hybrid’s chest and nearly cutting off his escape route in the process. Shadows closed in around him, encasing him in darkness. Finally, he heard what would have been a quiet rumbling noise were it not for the fact that he was basically being cradled against Techno’s chest. The sheer volume of the sound was something he could feel in his lungs-

“What the fuck.” He quietly whispered to himself, unable to see how one of Techno’s ears flicked in response to the noise. For a moment, he contemplated making a break for it and sprinting back to the walls, getting away before the hybrid woke up. He was too vulnerable here, his choices were limited if something went horribly wrong, so many things could go wrong, he could die-

And yet, he felt so warm.

Tension slowly seeping out of him, Tommy let out a sigh and clung to the expansive shirt in front of him. His eyes shut and he listened to Techno’s steady breathing and the slow pounding of his heart. Even the hand behind him, something that could easily kill him, seemed to be nothing more than a protective barrier hiding him from the rest of the world as it was, very gently, pressed against him.

Despite all the anxiety and fear that had previously bubbled up in him, he felt… safe.

Truly and genuinely safe for the first time since he had been exiled.

So, it was no surprise when he quickly found himself falling asleep. He did not fight the welcoming embrace of oblivion as it engulfed him, nor did he stir when the hand cradling him shifted. A thumb was pressed against his back and slow circles were traced into it. It was a soothing gesture, something that caused the sleeping borrower to smile in his sleep as he listened to the gentle rumbling that acted as a lullaby.

For the first night since arriving at the cabin, Tommy found himself getting a good night’s rest.

Hours later, the light of the afternoon sun shone through the windows, one of the beams hitting Technoblade in the face. He let out annoyed huff and slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the bright light. For a moment he contemplated on whether he should try and fall back asleep, retirement was not all that exciting and he could afford to sleep away a few days, but ultimately decided not to. Just before getting up, he glanced down at the hand cupped against his chest, seeing-

Nothing.

It was empty.

An amused snort escaped him and he shook his head. His hearing told him enough about where Tommy was, hidden under the bed based on the sounds of his panicked yet muffled cursing, but he ultimately chose to ignore the borrower. As Techno sat up, stretched, and got ready to start the day, Tommy sprinted towards the hidden hole in the wall and ducked inside, hoping that his quest for warmth during the night had gone unnoticed.

It was a hope that died when, as the night drew closer and the cold grew stronger, he noticed Techno adding more logs to the fire than he usually did. His hope died further when the hybrid smirked at him and spoke.

“Don’t want it getting too cold at night.”

Coincidently, this was the greatest amount of regret that Tommy had ever experienced in his life. Regret that would only be surpassed by a decision he would make at some point in the future.

But that is a tale for another time.

                                    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I’m legally obligated to allude to angst every time I write! Please bear with me as my scatterbrained self navigates how to best write these oneshots without spiraling into spoilers for the main fic, or just going total Hermitcraft as the urge is immense. 

#my story #fanfiction #dream smp #dream smp fic #sleeby bois inc #sleepy bois inc fic #borrower au #dsmp tommy #dsmp techno #borrower!tommy #fluff #y'all can have pure fluff just this once

[bookwormsid1015]

BNHA: Midnight Clouds

A CloudNight Oneshot

The wind combs through his hair gently, and Oboro lifts his head to greet the darkened sky. With the sun long forgotten beyond the horizon, all that remains is the faint chill lingering in the air and the silvery brilliance of the full moon above him. Up here, where the sky is endless, the air is colder, and yet it’s also much easier to breathe. Nothing can touch him so long as he remains on his cloud cruising above the shining city of Musutafu, not even his invisible fears and anxieties.

Today had been a particularly taxing day, with his teacher drilling the importance of quick time reactions in himself and his classmates. Oboro’s head still aches from where a baseball had struck him, and although the cut it left had been reduced to nothing but a small red blotch thanks to the nurse’s efforts, Oboro can still feel the ache of it just above his right eye. It was nothing more than a standard exercise, one where he and his classmates had to utilize their quirks to react to having balls thrown their way, and yet Oboro can’t help but think back on it pensively. While his friends Yamada and Aizawa were able to pass the exercise with little to no issue, Oboro struggled so much more, especially since all he could think about was the wellbeing of his peers.

“It’s good that you think about others before yourself, but that type of thinking is dangerous in hero work,” his teacher had told him sternly after class. “If you want to become a hero, you need to figure out how to balance your will to save others with the need to save yourself. You can’t save anyone if you can’t look out for your own skin.”

Those words struck a chord with Oboro. It resonates in the back of his mind, even after the school day ended and he was allowed to go home. It followed him all throughout his time studying, eating dinner with his family, and even as he played video games with his friends.

In the end, Oboro decided to take a flight, just to take his mind off things.

He’s always been that type of person, Oboro supposes. Ever since he was little, he never had much thought for his own wellbeing and instead focused on others. He remembers being no older than six, getting beaten black and blue on the playground for standing up to a bunch of bullies for harassing a kid he didn’t even know. He remembers playing sports in middle school, and somehow always coming home with a sprained ankle or bloody nose, having taken a ball to the face whenever he’d try to save his teammate. He remembers his online friends laughing at him, people jokingly calling him “meat shield” since he never failed to sacrifice his own avatar for the sake of others. It’s always been like that. Self-sacrifice is second nature to him; it’s part of the reason why he wanted to become a hero. Where else would such recklessness be celebrated?

Oboro utters yet another sigh, and cold air rushes to greet his lungs. He’s happy he’d brought a jacket and a pair of goggles with him, in addition to his cozy plaid blue pajama pants and white tee shirt. As amazing as his night flights are, it can get pretty chilly in the air, especially at night.

Oboro glances down from his cloud, and to his surprise, he finds himself cruising through a familiar neighborhood. Kayama only lives a few blocks away from him-- the close proximity of their homes is part of the reason the two became such close friends-- and Oboro’s azure eyes widen slightly at the figure sitting cross-legged on one of the tiled roofs.

Kayama is sitting on top of the roof of her house, her back facing him as she stares up at the dark sky with her glittering cerulean eyes. Her short black hair falls in spikes around her shoulders, and she’s clad in Tinkerbell pajama pants with bunny slippers and a black tank top. Her thin black glasses sit on the bridge of her perfectly angular nose, and Oboro finds himself entranced by the strange stillness surrounding her. For as long as he’s known the girl, she’s been this bright, glowing ball of energy, flaunting her glory everywhere she goes without a hint of shame. Seeing her so still, so quiet and thoughtful just catches his interest somehow, as if this sight that he’s seeing is akin to a wildlife photographer honing his lens in on a majestic deer. 

Before he knows it, Oboro is directing his cloud down to her.

“Hey, Kayama!” Oboro calls to his senior, and Kayama jolts in surprise at the sound of his voice. She turns around to look up at him, and Oboro flashes her a bright smile as he descends toward her. “I wasn’t expecting to see you out and about this late at night! It’s rare!”

Kayama smiles and tucks a stray raven lock behind her ear. Her hair, Oboro notes distantly, is more of a deep indigo color instead of true black. “It’s not being ‘out and about’ if I’m just chilling on my own roof, Shirakumo,” she replies. “Besides, I could be saying the same thing to you.”

Oboro shrugs and his cloud disappears beneath him with a small pomf. “Fair point. Mind if I chill with you for a bit?” he asks, already walking over to her. The red roof tile is cold beneath his bare feet, but Oboro doesn’t pay it much mind. Kayama is his only center of attention right now.

The older girl utters a pleasant laugh. “Sure, sure. It’s nice having some company every now and again,” she says, and pats the roof tiles beside her. Oboro wastes no time in plopping down right next to her.

For a long moment, neither of them say anything. They just look up at the infinite dark sky above them, and Oboro revels in the beauty it has to offer. The night sky isn’t completely dark, he notices with awe, but instead it’s bright with the stars twinkling distantly and the full glow of the pale full moon shining down on the world like a flashlight. Clouds also drift lazily in the heavens above them, and Oboro traces their shapes in amazement as he notices them fade between grey and white, depending on their proximity to the moon.

The night is full of silvery brilliance, and Oboro breathes it in contentedly.

“Ever notice how expressive the sky is?” Oboro finds himself saying. “Like, I know it’s just oxygen and shit, but I just like to think weather is just the sky showing off it’s different feelings. Like, sunny days are when it’s happy and full of energy, while rainy days are when it's feeling down and wants attention. Nights like this are my favorite, though. It’s sleepy, but at the same time it wants to see how us little people are doing.”

Kayama glances away from the sky and back at the teenage boy beside her. Her lips quirk up into a smile, and Oboro quickly realizes with a grimace just how lame he sounded. “Gah! Ignore me, I dunno why I said that,” Oboro rambles, his face heating up in embarrassment.

Kayama just laughs. “No, no it’s okay. Don’t worry,” she assures him with a gentle pat on his shoulder. “I never thought of it that way. I don’t usually look at the sky and look for some hidden meaning; I just take it for what it is.” She flashes him a glowing smile, and Oboro’s heart seizes up in his chest. “I like that about you, you know that? You have a refreshing perspective on things.”

Oboro chuckles awkwardly. “Do I?” he asks.

Kayama nods her head. “Totally do. It’s nice.”

They sit again in silence, though this time, Oboro’s attention isn’t on the sky above. Instead, he sits there for a moment, just watching her as Kayama turns her attention upward. The silvery brilliance of the moon illuminates her high cheekbones, the curve of her nose, and highlights her full, plump pink lips. It reflects silver in her dark hair, and her blue eyes glimmer under its elegance like twin sapphires. Here, under the moonlight’s kiss, she looks like a goddess, even more so than usual.

It’s common knowledge that Kayama is beautiful. In fact, Oboro is willing to go as far as to say she’s one of-- if not-- the most beautiful girl in UA. There’s just something so wholly compelling about watching Kayama strut her stuff down the school halls, her chest puffed out and chin held high, walking forward without a wink of hesitation nor shame. When she speaks, it grabs his attention, and when she looks at him, his heart forgets to beat. Even Aizawa and Yamada-- who clearly have different romantic tastes-- agree that Kayama is undeniably attractive.

Sometimes, it surprises him that he’s one of her closest friends.

Kayama turns to look at him, and all thoughts in his head die the second her stunning blue eyes fall to his azure ones. “Shirakumo?” she asks, and her smile suddenly turns mischievous. “Why are you looking at me like that? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re checking me out.”

Steam literally explodes from around his ears (damn his quirk) as his face turns fifty shades of pink. “NO! Nope, no, nuh-uh! I wasn’t doing anything like that! I was… uh…” he turns his brain around in a panic, looking for anything else to say. “I was just thinking about class today! Haha, yeah! Just kinda got lost in thought and stared off into space!”

“Oh?” Oboro isn’t too sure if he’s imagining the hint of disappointment in her voice or not. “Well, how was it? I know Hokiko-sensei is a real hardass. Or he was when I had him last year, anyway.”

“Yeah, he was. He…” Oboro redirects his attention away from the beautiful girl sitting right next to him down to his hands clasped together in his lap. He utters a heavy sigh. “We, uh, well, we did some exercises today about quick time reactions. Basically, he threw shit like baseballs at us, and he assessed how quickly we would react to them. It was supposed to be an easy class, but I got knocked around more times than I would’ve liked.”

“Why?” Kayama asks, her cerulean blue gaze becoming thoughtful and serious.

Oboro shrugs. “We were all getting assessed simultaneously, so while I had to make sure I wasn’t getting pelted by baseballs, I also had to make sure my classmates were doing fine. Ya know, and vice versa,” he explains.

Something clicks together in Kayama’s stare as realization washes over her pale face. “Let me guess: you were so preoccupied by your classmates that you forgot to look out for yourself?” she guesses, and Oboro balks at the accuracy.

“I-is it that obvious?” he whines.

Kayama’s laugh is somehow reassuring. “It’s obvious because I know you, dummy,” she tells him, and lifts a hand to gently flick his forehead. “It’s how we met, after all. Don’t you remember that time when we were in middle school? Some girl was making fun of me and you came over to chase her away? Even though we didn’t even know each other?”

Oboro’s chuckle is shaky, and he can’t help but cringe in hindsight. “I must’ve looked like a white knight or something… Ugh, and they called us boyfriend-girlfriend for the longest time after…” he recalls with a shudder.

Kayama laughs. “Yeah, it was a little weird, but it was also super sweet. It takes guts to help a person out like that, especially if you’d never met them before.”

Oboro turns to her fully, his smile wide and hopeful. “Then you agree with me, right? Me looking out for everyone else isn’t a bad thing?” he says.

Oboro’s confidence wavers at the clear disapproval in the other’s eyes, and Kayama redirects her attention back to the dark heavens above them. “That’s the thing, Shirakumo. Society has conditioned us to believe that certain traits are black or white, when in reality, they’re a moral grey,” she tells him sagely. “At times, anger isn’t always a bad thing, and while envy is an ugly way to feel, it isn’t always derogatory. They can help us cope with situations that are unfair to us or hurtful to others. In some ways, even kindness can be bad. Unhealthy even. It’s always the good people who are taken advantage of.”

Kayama turns to face him, and Oboro’s heart stills as she offers him a gentle yet firm smile. “There is no good or bad when it comes to our feelings and habits. You wanting to help others can be helpful, but if it comes at the cost of your own health, then it’s definitely not something you should be brazen about.”

Oboro sighs deeply and runs a hand through his cloudy hair, his expression crumpling into a grimace. “I know, I know, it’s just… I don’t know,” he mutters. “Ever since I was little, people have told me the true essence of being a hero is putting others’ needs before my own. And it always made sense, you know? Like, I know you’re right, and I know that my habits aren’t healthy, but…” Oboro utters a resigned sigh. “I don’t know what else to do.”

Kayama scoots closer to him and places a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You’re too down on yourself, you know that? I know you, Shirakumo, and I know that you have all the tools you need to become an amazing hero. The only one who doesn’t see it is you,” she tells him, and adds with a small laugh, “Besides, Aizawa and Yamada look up to you, you know? You don’t know it, but you’ve been a really good influence on them. Especially Aizawa.”

Shirakumo lifts his head and turns to face her, his azure eyes wide with disbelief. “Damn, Kayama, how do you do it?” he asks, his words taking the other aback. “You always seem so confident and self assured. When you’re serious, you can spew some amazing wisdom, while I…” Oboro looks away with a sigh. “I’m all about the fake stuff. I’m not even confident most of the time, I just… force myself to act and say things I don’t even completely agree in. It makes me feel like such a fraud.”

Kayama’s smile doesn’t waver in the slightest. “What can I say? Not all of us are perfect, besides…” the light in her eyes dims a bit. “If you really think I was always this way, then maybe you are dumb.”

Oboro scoffs, though his lips betray a smile. “Gee, thanks,” he says wryly, causing the other girl to laugh.

Kayama stands up and stretches her arms over her head. Shirakumo pointedly turns his attention away as her tank top lifts just a bit, exposing a glimpse of her toned stomach. “All this talk about insecurity is kinda draining. Come on, ” Kayama extends a hand out to him, “my mom made cookies earlier. There should be enough left over for you and me to split.”

Shirakumo stares at her hand in awe, temporarily taken aback. Usually, Oboro is the type of guy to keep his insecurities and fears hidden. He wants people to know he’s reliable and helpful, and he wants to be this pillar of reassurance for those around him. And yet, whenever he’s around this girl, he just feels more… vulnerable. Like he can finally look at these hidden parts of himself-- parts that he’s disgusted with-- and somehow feel just a little more content with them. Looking at Kayama now, Oboro can’t help but realize just how amazing she is. Not only is she beautiful and smart, but she’s confident and reliable; she genuinely cares about the people around her, and while her mannerisms are a little weird, creepy even, it also makes her so much more… her.

And Oboro wouldn’t change her for the world.

“I love you,” the words stand at the edge of his tongue, the temptation to risk it all becoming more and more overwhelming by the second. “You make me want to be better. You inspire me. I want to see you become an amazing hero, and I want to be beside you when you finally achieve your dreams. I love you.”

But he doesn’t.

Instead, Oboro reaches up and takes her hand. “Your mom makes the best cookies,” he says with a smile. “My mom has been asking for her chocolate macadamia nut recipe, by the way. Think she’ll be willing to share her secrets with me?”

Kayama laughs as she pulls him to his feet. Although he’s several inches taller than her, she doesn’t seem bothered at all having to smile up at him. “Maybe, maybe not. No promises, though,” she says. Kayama turns around and clambers down to the edge of the tiled roof, where she steps onto her window sill. She smiles back at him. “Come on! I managed to get my hands on one of Bon Jovi’s limited edition albums, the other day, and I’ve been waiting to listen to it with you!”

Oboro laughs as he follows her lead down to her window. “Immaculate taste as ever, eh, Kayama?”

Kayama’s giggles are music to his ears, “What can I say? It’s a living.”

#Chapter 296 never happened wym #Also available on Ao3 #I'm gonna keep making CloudNight content because this is my comfort ship god damn it #I love them both so much #Shirakumo Oboro #Oboro Shirakumo #Kayama Nemuri #Midnight #Loud Cloud #Bnha #Mha #Boku no hero academia #My Hero Academia #My writing #Oneshot #CloudNight #NightCloud #Shirayama #Shirakumo Oboro x Kayama Nemuri #Ao3 Writer

[sloppy-butcher]

Hey buddy bro you got any good stuff for the huntress? Like in a relationship with a survivor 👀👀??

heyo friend, chum, buddy, buck-a-ree-no! hope you are well! you KNOW i always got that good stuff for you<33

thank you for the request! first huntress post coming right up!!

OKAY OKAY hear me out, i kinda turned it into a fic-let thing soooooo also NSFW under cut for a female because, let's be real, she's a lesbian.

HeadCanons for The Huntress (Anna) with a survivor! S/O

Anna is the very definition of touch-starved. This fact has probably been stated before, but honey let me tell you, Anna craves physical contact. Expect long, suffocating bear hugs that would crush your ribcage and hurt your back. Frequent pickups, strong hands clasping you under your arms and effortlessly swinging you around as if you were a doll. But most importantly, expect the constant holding of hands. Anna always wants to know you are there, that you are warm and that you aren’t leaving her. She will insist that you hold her hand at all times. If she’s sharpening her weapon, you will be next to her. If she is craving a new mask for either herself or you, you will be next to her. You must always be there. If you happen to stray too far from her she will call for you. Her voice is very loud and even though she shakes the raindrops from the trees with the sheer volume of her shout, there is a genuine worry in her tone. She cares for you deeply and worries even more.

She will shower you in all types of animal skins. “You look cold, little one.” She’d comment in her thick Russian voice. Without warning, she would drown you in only the thickest and warmest pelts she had on hand. Some were the victories of past battles with elks or bears and others were from more exotic animals, like tigers and lions, that the Entity had given to Anna as a reward for her hard work. She’d have you sit down and would spend nearly half an hour arranging the furs around your body, making sure every inch of you was covered, save for your face which would stick out from the pile like a white mushroom on the forest floor. When she was content Anna would sigh, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side so as to get a better look at you. She’d then mercilessly pepper bunny kisses over your exposed face knowing full well you couldn’t do shit to stop her.

Your relationship started when Anna took a great liking to you. Observing you in a trial made her heart yearn. To her, you were so small and in need of protection. But she couldn’t do that, not while the sky spider watches. She sees you again and again and her infatuation with you grows exponentially every time. So small. So lost.

One night, when Anna was performing her routine boundary inspection, she came across the most peculiar sound. People. There were people talking in a language she did not know just beyond her realm in the forest. She had never willingly left her own place during the off-time, mainly because she had no idea what lay beyond the darkness. But the voices she heard, so friendly and laughing, Anna felt complied to check it out. She stumbled upon a group of survivors who all scattered like rats when they caught sight of her shadow. In the panic to escape someone got pushed to the side. Anna stepped forward to hopefully see the fallen survivor better when suddenly you called out. She attention immediately snapped to you. She almost couldn’t believe it. The person crawled away and traded his place with you. You’re all she wanted.

She dragged you home kicking and screaming, crying bloody murder until you felt wood and rug on your back. She had brought you inside her cabin and pulled you to the corner where a rope connected to the wall hung limp and empty. She contemplated it for a moment. All the pretty things she tied to this wall died. And you were such a pretty thing, she wanted to keep you. But you’d die just like the ones before. You watched her standing over you, black eyes as deep and meaningful as oceans. You had never seen her in this light before. She was rough for sure, but the way she was acting towards you right now puzzled you. She never pulled her weapon out on you, never threatened you nor gave you any reason to fear her. She was acting like a child unaware of her strength and power over you. She felt lonely. Desperate even.

“I’ll come back.” You managed a soft whisper, reaching a shaking hand up and touching her wrist. She looked down at you and, after a moment's thought, dropped you. Slamming to the floor you shuffled away from her half expecting the Huntress to lunge at you like a wild animal. She only watched, shoulders lowered slightly and breathing slow. She knew she couldn’t actually keep you. You were sky-spiders food. She wasn’t stupid. It was a fruitless endeavor, she could never keep you. “I’ll come back.” You tried again. She cocked her head at your voice. Did she even understand you? She looked so sad, how could you pity such a powerful and deadly woman?

“Back?” She barked catching you off guard. Blinking you nod.  Anna severely doubted you’d keep your promise to her, you looked scared the same way those pretty things did when they died tied to her wall. But she couldn’t keep you. Imagine her surprise when you did show up again, hesitantly stalking the tree border. She rushed you and from that moment onwards you two were inseparable.

NSFW Lady has huge hands. Course, brittle fingers that seek the softness of untouched skin. Because she grew up basically on her own, Anna has no concept of boundaries so expect a lot of wandering hands, grasping thighs, ass, and anything else with the grace and strength of a famished grizzly bear. She’d never go under your clothes however, Anna has some semblance of decency. When eventually you offer her the chance to touch skin uncovered, she nearly stops breathing.

Because she has no sense of personal space, Anna has no shame when it comes to revealing herself to you. You’d walk in one day and find her stark naked changing her outfit. She’d greet you, turning around to give you the complete view of herself, smiling as if nothing was wrong. This lack of shame also extends to baths. Although rare in the realm of the Fog, on occasion Anna likes to bathe. In a corner of her realm stand an empty tub which over time builds up in water from the constant rainy weather. When it fills Anna washes herself. WIth you now in her life, she insists you join her. You couldn’t deny that the idea of a nice warm bath wasn’t tempting so you agreed. What you didn’t expect was that Anna meant to bath with you at the same time.

She undressed, your eyes averted and face red, and practically tsumani’d into the tub sending liters of water gushing out. “Come! Come!” She beckoned to you, waving a hand. You stuttered a piss-poor excuse and attempted an escape but you weren’t fast enough and a large hand quickly pulled you into the water. Gasping for air after being so unceremoniously dumped you scolded Anna for wetting you clothes. She gave you a side-eye as if saying ‘Well, why didn’t you take them off?’ Hesitantly you did, throwing them to the side hoping they’d be dry by the time you were done. Once naked yourself you felt very small. Anna had you in her lap, your back to her chest, and her legs on either side of you.

She set to work scrubbing your back and when she was satisfied, hummed her pleasure and leaned forward pressing herself on to you. Finally downing your embarrassment you offered to wash her hair. Turning around to face her, Anna lowered her head and allowed you to wash her short black hair. As you did so you felt hot eyes staring you directly at your exposed breasts. Anna leaned forward again and gently placed her forehead to your chest, rising and falling with your breathing. A hand snaked its way up your thigh and to your ass and firmly hold you in place, offering you support in your awkward position. She was solid, comforting in her hold over you.

#another big lady #god she is huge #a beautiful #dbd headcanons #dbd x reader #dbd the huntress #dbd the huntress x reader #dbd anna

[fandom-necromancer]

1257.  Stop giggling.

This was prompted by the lovely @detroitbecomestickman! It has been some time since a reverse AU but I love them. Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 | AU: Reverse AU

‘Who takes the bot today?’ ‘Hmm? Oh, I think it’s Richard’s turn.’ ‘Oof… Hope we get Gavin back in one piece tomorrow…’ ‘That bad?’ ‘Look for yourself.’

Gavin filtered the background noise with an annoyed eye-roll. Yes, Nines was exceptionally grumpy today. No, that didn’t bother the old android. He had survived far worse in his now eight years on the job. He would survive the Detective with a loose temper. He still didn’t understand why he couldn’t just stay at the station like he had all the years before. The revolution be damned, some of the new laws made no sense at all. He was happy to be free and to be a deviant who didn’t have to obey every stupid order. But the latest decision was just plain absurd: Every deviant android was only allowed to spend his scheduled time at the workplace. It was a new requirement for them to leave the building for at least eight hours. For androids that had bought or rented homes, that was fine. But Gavin couldn’t have been bothered. He liked his job and was happy to work on. He was free to go anytime, that was something very comforting, but he liked work, so why not stay beyond his time. It was a working system, him keeping track of everything and helping out who needed him.

But no, now he was handed from person to person to keep him at their home for these eight hours. Gavin felt like he invaded the place every time. He was uncomfortable, bored and most of all, he didn’t want to play nice with their families. Tina was okay, Chris’ daughter was cute even in his eyes and Nines… Well, he was his work partner and the human he knew best, so they naturally got along. Still, Gavin hoped that new law would be abolished soon.

Nines had an incredibly short fuse today. The coffee-machine breaking on him first thing in the morning, leaving him with half a cup of too strong coffee had been the initial phck-you send from life. Then he had entered his password wrong three times in a row, throwing him out until IT reset it for him. He had been furious, and Gavin had watched from the side-lines amusedly. He had thought to tell him later he could have hacked the system too, sparing him the embarrassing call, but that would likely had ended in a full-blown fight, so he let it pass.

Then the radio in the breakroom had him ending up with his least favourite song stuck in his head and his brother had bothered him for full thirty minutes with birthday preparations for their mother both hated secretly. It was what every human called a bad day. Gavin called it entertainment.

With every problem being solved in the course of a heartbeat and every unsolvable problem filed away for later, the android was easily bored even at work. Walking the fine line of danger between aggravating his partner and yet keeping him calm enough so he wouldn’t trash him had quickly become his favourite hobby. An hour later as nothing particularly bad had happened, the man had calmed down enough for him to spice it up again: ‘You were supposed to call the witness of the Carlson-case at five-fifty.’ ‘What?’ Nines looked up from his terminal, cursing heavily: ‘Shit. Why didn’t you tell me, you useless android?’ ‘Hey, you were busy sulking over that paper-cut. Didn’t want to disturb ya.’ ‘Oh, you fucking-‘ ‘Hey, you better hurry make that call, right?’ ‘Yes. But this will have consequences, GV, I warn you!’ ‘Yeah, warn me’, Gavin grinned, watching how Nines hurried off to a place of relative silence. A faint [mission successful] hovered in his HUD.

The rest of the day had its own challenges for the human and the last half an hour until their shift ended Gavin decided to leave him be. He had to spend eight hours with Nines, he would have ample chances at riling him up. ‘And? How’s it going, ready to heed home?’, Gavin smirked mischievously, and the man continued to stare at him not understanding what he was up to. Then it clicked. ‘Ah, fuck and here I thought to finally get a breather… it’s my turn today, isn’t it?’ ‘Yup’, Gavin grinned, popping the p. Nines sighed heavily. ‘Fine.’ ‘So, we’re ready to go, Nines?’ ‘Don’t call me that!’, the man spat. ‘I have a name. And yeah, I guess.’ He logged out of his terminal and ordered his papers. ‘Let’s go.’

They drove through Detroit and Gavin left him alone during that time. The man stubbornly insisted to drive manually and that was enough of a risk that he didn’t want to add any more to that. They pulled into his lot and into the garage. Gavin was about to leave, but Nines remained seated a bit longer, just breathing. ‘Everything alright, meat-bag?’, the android teased. ‘Yes, just bracing myself for another eight hours with your metal ass.’ ‘Charming.’ ‘Fuck off.’

They entered Nines’ home and immediately Nines groaned, throwing the key on the sideboard violently. ‘Really? Really, that had to happen today?’ He rubbed at his face, looking down on the carpet. ‘Fucking furball, I do everything for you’, he hollered into the open space, now completely pissed off. ‘I give you food, I clean after you, I treat you like a goddamn princess and you thank me by leaving a giant turd on my carpet!’

Gavin couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly as he saw the tail of Nines’ cat disappear into the bedroom. He tried to stifle it into a light chuckle, but the human’s angry face together with what happened so far, was too much. ‘Stop giggling you shitty, obsolete robot!’, he shouted, now at Gavin, who just laughed more. ‘I will trash you, regardless of what the consequences are. Just for today you deserved it!’ ‘Alright, alright, Nines, calm down’, the GV chuckled. ‘Don’t call me that! I hate that damn nickname, I have a name and it is Richard!’ ‘Whatever you say, Richard. You still have to calm down.’ He took the fuming human’s arm and led him to the table. ‘God, you had a shitty day. Life clearly hates you.’

Nines sighed. ‘Yes, it must hate me, letting me meet you.’ ‘Come on, I’m the best to ever happen to you. You need someone to rile you up or you would die of boredom. A healthy rival if you will.’ ‘I really don’t need that right now, Gavin. I need my peace. For just an hour or two, okay?’ The android nodded, smiling. ‘Of course, you relax a bit and I’ll clean this up for you.’ ‘Thanks, tin-can’, the man said, dropping his head on the table in a sigh.

Gavin looked at him affectionately. Maybe he wouldn’t take him literally this time and wait a bit more than “one or two hours” until he made his life just a tip more annoying. He deserved some rest for now.

#detroit become human #dbh #dbh reverse au #Reed900 #Gavin Reed #GV200 #android!Gavin #RK900 #human!RK900 #Honestly he has the patience of a rock I would have killed GV by now #Why am I giving them a bad time all the time? Idk

[the-wlw-cafe]

[E]nnui - a 2BA2 fanfic

Warnings: Self-harm, self-destructive behaviour, heavily implied suicidal ideation - there’s comfort in there too I swear!

Read it on ao3 here!

Another piece of her skin had come loose near her hips. It had to have happened a while ago, judging by the dust and dirt clinging to the adhesive on its underside. She hadn’t noticed it back then, being occupied with fighting for her life, the misery, the toil and pain and the war . But now, after the end of it all? Nothing would take her mind off it. She’d catch herself absent-mindedly tugging at the loose piece every now and then, or rather, Pod would catch her and admonish her in his usual robotic manner.

Alert: Continuing to irritate the area will cause further damage to unit A2. Proposal: Stop.

And he was right, of course, but that just made her want to throw a brick at him all the more.

(She also hadn’t noticed when she’d switched to referring to Pod as he instead of it, but he didn’t call attention to the change and she’d rather die than admit she th ought of him as anything but an annoyance.)

Well, Pod wasn’t here now. Being assigned to two units, he usually split his time between monitoring 2B and herself, or sometimes the pods just headed out by themselves to do God knows what. Maybe there was a part of A2 that wondered what they were up to, a part of her that might have been curious enough to ask about it lifetimes ago, but now? The task of having to ask and listen to a reply seemed insurmountable.

Shit, she really needed to trash something. Before, whenever such thoughts threatened to overtake her, she’d simply pick a fight with the first machine she saw, rinse and repeat until she was too exhausted to continue on or move or even think. But of course even that was taken from her as the machines were gone now. Not physically gone, of course, they were still dotted throughout the landscape, but they were empty. Just vacant shells, unmoving, staring off into space.

“They’re among the stars now”, 9S had said, as if that would explain anything. A2 hadn’t had the energy to ask for clarification. They kept their distance from each other anyway, since being in the other android’s presence dredged up emotions and red hot flashes of pain pain pain she no longer had a release for.

The sound of tools scraping and metal being torn and bent drifted to her from way down below. She came up here often now, to the window where she’d first awoken again. It was a long way down, and not for the first time she wondered whether the pods had placed her there intentionally. A second chance, and an easy way to refuse the gift. Again and again she found herself drawn to this spot, looking down until the instincts she was programmed with to keep her body safe flooded her system with dizziness that forced her to back away from the window. She used to feel so far away from everything here, but apparently, the real world had forced itself even into this space. The resistance had begun scrapping the empty machines down for parts, and even though she’d tried to help them initially just to have something to do, once she was actually faced with one of the shells, still faintly whirring with the machinery still ticking away in the rusty chassis but at the same time nothing going on inside, she felt like vomiting. An echo of the time she’d shared a mind with 2B, she supposed, she’d looked into the machine’s unseeing eyes and seen Pascal, seen the children, and she just couldn’t…

With an abrupt sting of pain she realized she’d been doing it again, finding that loose piece of skin and mindlessly tugging, only this time, Pod wasn’t here to tell her off. She gritted her teeth against the sting and began pulling, watching with an almost morbid fascination as the skin peeled to reveal more of the black exoskeleton underneath –

“Stop that.”

The sudden interruption startled A2 enough to actually obey, letting go of the abused patch of skin as if it had burned her. She turned towards the newcomer, one hand instinctively reaching for the hilt of her sword she no longer had a use for. She relaxed incrementally when she found that it was 2B who’d snuck up on her, her hand uselessly coming to rest at her side. She wasn’t at ease, she figured she hadn’t been at ease since the day she was fabricated, but something about the combat model seemed to calm her – a sentiment she would have laughed at weeks ago, given the many times 2B had been sent to execute her only for A2 to destroy her again and again, each time coming closer and closer to defeat as 2B profited from combat experience while her own body degraded. But there was no way of sharing a mind, memories and decades of pain with another person without retaining some familiarity after the fact.

It was difficult to see the unfiltered version of 2B she’d experienced through her memories in the carefully schooled expression of the android in front of her. The version A2 had experienced loved fiercely, cared deeply, and was hurt beyond measure, but the 2B she saw now let almost none of that show. Calm, collected. The very model of a YoRHa executioner. A2 didn’t have to ask why 2B still saw the need to guard her expression so thoroughly. After all, it was the same reason why A2 cleaned and sharpened her weapons every day with more care than she’d ever afforded her own body, or why 9S had taken to painstakingly record ing all of his memory, each minute detail of e very day he experienced with pen and paper and was keeping this treasury of memories hidden under his pillow.

“You need maintenance”, 2B stated, taking tentative steps closer and, when A2 didn’t object, sat down beside her. She didn’t look at her, instead fixating on some point in the distance, beyond the grey husks of concrete buildings leaning heavily against each other, as if they might collapse at any moment. Her voice betrayed no emotion, but the faint golden glow of the lunar tear tucked neatly above her ear said otherwise, said it’d suit your stylish looks, said thank you for the flowers, said desert roses are beautiful, aren’t they. The grief A2 felt upon these echoes flashing through her mind might as well have been her own. They’d both lost so, so many people, and yet they were still here, alive even after having literally died. It was almost funny. Almost.

“Nah, I’ll be fine”, A2 said, “I’ve survived this long even with machines looking to destroy me at every turn, I won’t fall apart now.”

2B made a non-committal sound, and a long stretch of silence followed. A2 had to stifle an irrational urge to laugh, because for two people who literally had their minds melded at some point, they sure were bad at communicating. But the silence continued, gaping, deafening, and a strange anxiety rose in A2, a compulsion to fill it with something, anything, even though she knew that no words could ever do justice to the things she longed to express, the things that bubbled and churned inside her like a vile acid she needed to expel.

“I miss it.”

A2 was almost surprised that she had spoken. She might have been inclined to believe it was a hallucination caused by one of the many glitches she’d contracted over decades of neglect of maintenance, if 2B hadn’t turned to look at her, head slightly inclined to the side, encouraging her to go on.

Well, shit. The rat was out of the bag now, or whatever the humans used to say, so there was no point in backing down. A2 leaned against the wall with a heavy sigh, craning her neck to stare at the webbing of cracks along the ceiling, because making herself vulnerable was hard enough without looking into 2B’s face and seeing whatever pity or disdain she might be too slow to hide.

“I mean, the fighting. Always being on the move. Never having a moment of quiet, never having a moment alone with your own thoughts. I was so busy surviving that I didn’t have the time to ask myself why I was surviving in the first place. I think it was spite, mainly”, she added with a mirthless chuckle that sounded hollow in the empty room. “But now, with YoRHa gone and the war over, there’s nobody left to spite, and that leaves me with…”

She didn’t voice the nothing that was on the tip of her tongue, but it hung over them like a heavy, suffocating blanket nonetheless. Truly, how selfish was she, to prefer the never-ending suffering of the war over this peace, this chance for Anemone and her people to build something new, something substantial. She didn’t dare to open her eyes and face whatever 2B must be thinking of her, and this was new too: She cared now, cared what others thought of her, because now she ha d people with opinions to care about.

And yet, the silence continued, the tension reaching a fever pitch until A2 could be ar it no longer. She braced herself and turned to face the combat model once more, no matter what she –

Oh.

2B’s gaze was trained on the horizon once more, but she’d placed a gloved hand over A2’s own, her thumb rubbing comforting circles over the exposed exoskeleton.

A2’s core temperature spiked with embarrassment as she cleared her throat. “Yeah, I…I can’t actually feel that, sorry”, she huffed. “I don’t know how it is with you newer models, but my more delicate sensors were located directly under my outer skin and I lost that ages ago. So, yeah, it’s gonna take nothing short of shoving my hand between two moving gears to actually generate some feedback.”

“Oh. I’m…sorry”, 2B murmured, removing her hand to clench it in her lap in a demure gesture that was so unlike her it made A2 feel even worse. She’d never felt self-conscious about the state of her body before. She’d been frustrated, sure, when she found her capabilities steadily decreasing the more time she spent on the run, but she’d never felt so outright ashamed that she could hear her black box whirring in her ears, but now that her deficiencies had been brought into such stark contrast against 2B, perfect, pristine 2B -

“A2.”

2B’s firm voice pulled the attacker model out of her spiralling thoughts. 2B’s eyes were focused on the spot on her hip where she’d been subconsciously scratching at the loose patch of skin again. A2 clenched her blackened fingers into a fist, fighting against the overpowering compulsion to just rip it.

“You need maintenance”, 2B repeated, with more insistence than the first time.

“Are you still on about that?” A2 groaned, running a hand through her hair.

“You’re literally coming apart at the seams!” 2B hissed, and there was fervour there, a real concern.

“Don’t I know it”, A2 said, throwing her head back and barking out a laugh that was devoid of any happiness. She just wanted this conversation to be over, she wanted 2B to stop wasting her concern on her, she just…wanted everything to stop.

Another pause, and then…a sensation, a touch, ever so lightly, ever so softly, a pair of lips against her cheek. The contact lasted a second at the most, before 2B pulled back an inch, her face still so close that A2 could feel her breath ghosting over her skin as she spoke her next words.

“Can you feel this?”

A2 didn’t answer, but she didn’t have to, not when the staccato beat of her pulse and the stuttering of her breath spoke volumes. 2B slid closer to her now, sitting directly next to her so close close close that their thighs were touching and A2 could feel it and shit, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been touched with care, like she mattered, like she deserved any of it. Pressure was building in her throat and she clenched her fist tighter until she could hear the joints of her fingers cracking. And still, she leaned into the contact, closed her eyes and held onto that moment while it lasted.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing”, 2B said quietly. A2 couldn’t guess how much time had passed, how long they’d simply been leaning against each other.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, A2 lied without any conviction. She had no doubt 2B would be looking right through her.

“Refusing maintenance. Coming up here every day.”

A2 opened her eyes as an errant breeze blew in through the window. She squinted against it. It was a long way down.

“Anemone is worried about you. I – we all are.”

“Well, you’re wasting your time”, A2 bit out, her voice tight against that god-damn lump in her throat. Too much, it was all too much. She had to go, go…somewhere, anywhere. Away. Away from people who looked at her, saw right through her, right down to the very core of her as if she was made of glass. She made a motion to get up, but 2B grabbed her wrist and tugged her down harshly.

“A2, you deserve to be cared for.” 2B’s voice was still so quiet, but as unyielding as the concrete beneath them. “You deserve this”, she said, one hand coming to rest against A2’s cheek. The touch was nothing but gentle, and yet it felt scalding. She batted it away.

“You of all people should know how it feels. We’ve killed, more times than we could count, more times than can ever be forgiven, it’s the only thing we were made for and the only thing we’re actually good at, and you’re telling me I deserve anything?”

2B shrunk back as if she’d struck her, and immediately a cold wave of guilt washed over A2 and settled deep and heavy in her core. She knew 2B, she could still feel the disgust and self-hatred emanating off of her whenever A2 had addressed her as 2E, they’d shared the pain of killing her closest friend over and over and over again. A2 reached out, to touch 2B, to hold her perhaps, but she thought better of it. She wasn’t made for gentleness. Everything she touched fell apart.

“I’m sorry”, she mumbled, her words falling pathetically short.

“Appreciated”, 2B said through gritted teeth, her fingers clenched into the hem of her dress so tightly her knuckles were turning white. She was close enough to touch, and yet they were miles apart. A2 had broken them miles apart. She had broken them apart, and she had no idea how to fix this divide. She wasn’t made for fixing.

“Shit, 2B, that was a fucked up thing to say to you, I’m-”

2B silenced her laughable attempts with a single, stiff wave or her hand.

“You’re right.”

A2 immediately opened her mouth to protest, to silence whatever nonsense she’d put in the combat model’s head, but then she met her eyes, cold steel blue more fiery than ever, and any words she might have said wither ed on her tongue. She was fixed to the spot, unmoving.

“And if we really are one and the same, A2, then you’ll understand why I can’t bear another death.”

It was too much, it was far too intimate. A2’s first instinct was to deflect, this was her they were talking about, she’d hardly be missed by anyone, having outlived almost all who might at some point have cared about her. And 2B, especially 2B, whom she’d killed dozens of times…

Unbidden, the ugliest memories reared their head, flashes of deep, oozing slashes in 2B’s body as her teammates stumble over themselves in retreat, flashes of loosing herself in B-Mode when she couldn’t keep up with her opponent anymore, only coming to again when her form was beaten, bloodied and almost unrecognizable. The same nausea she’d felt when asked to dismantle the machine husks rose in her again, that feeling of wrong wrong wrong and she couldn’t stomach it, not even the thought of it…

This time, she caught herself. Her hand halfway to her hip, she froze, biting her lip to distract from the urge to just tear at pieces of herself. 2B noticed, of course she noticed, placing a hand over the damaged area. It was tender, and though every fibre of her being cried out that she didn’t deserve it she didn’t deserve it she didn’t deserve it she swallowed them down. Laid her hand atop 2B’s. Threaded their fingers together.

She watched 2B fail to hide a soft gasp, and it made something within her lurch in delight. She gave 2B’s hand a gentle squeeze, wishing now more than ever to be able to feel the warmth of her hand radiating through the smooth satin glove.

It was a stupid reason. It was as good as any other.

She allowed herself to rest in this moment for a few seconds longer, then she slowly rose to her feet, groaning under the aching of her stiff joints. How long had she been up here?

“Come on, let’s head back before Anemone sends out a search party”, she said, pulling 2B upright, and when she was standing, A2 was struck to the core when she saw her smile. It was a subtle, understated thing, barely even visible, but shit, if she could make 2B smile like that one more time she knew she’d be worth something more than the scrap metal she was made of.

She took one last look out of the window over her shoulder. She could barely stomach it – it was such a long, long way down.

Feeling 2B’s hand in hers.

Making her smile.

They were better reasons than spite, she decided.

#nier #nier automata #a2 #2b #working title of this fic was freddie projects their depression onto robots

[always-and-forever-a-killjoy]

Hello good morning and welcome to chili's- is that even the right reference? Whatever. Anyways, welcome to 'auri can't stop fucking writing about party poison and cherri cola' hours. They have such a fascinating bond ANYWAYS also welcome to a fucking trainwreck that i wrote all this morning.

Title: everybody wants to change the world

Wordcount: 2047

Summary:

Party Poison goes out, gets hurt, and chooses a different place for help than they usually would.

This has literally no plot beyond me making Poison have a bad time.

Warnings: injury, blood, death mentions.

Taglist: @wishiwasthemoon-tonight @sleevesareforlosers @stressed-depressed-emo-mess @tasteofamnesia @dagger-queen​ @no-braincells-here @piratecherricola (message me, send an ask, or reblog/reply to one of my posts if you want to be added or removed)

AO3 Link

(Actual fic under the cut)

Party Poison swore under their breath as they staggered back to the Trans Am, pressing a hand to their side. They were going to fucking bleed out here, outside a Mad Gear concert in Zone 4, all because they were a fucking dumbass and got themself stabbed. Because Poison could never live quietly, they didn't know how. All they knew was picking fights with random 'joys and listening to the music that blared from the speakers, way too loud and easily drowning out their thoughts. Now that was catching up to them, they guessed, as they slid into the car and put their bloody hand on the wheel.

"Home we go, baby."

No. Not home. Kobra had said, Kobra had told them 'don't go out and get hurt again, don't go picking fights, dumbass'. And Poison had gone and done it anyways. Gone and been a fucking idiot, as Kobes would say. So no, they were not going back to the diner yet. Not bleeding this heavily, anyways. The Girl didn't deserve to see this, nor did she deserve to watch them and Kobra fight about it.

That left Poison with the question of where, exactly, they were going to go. There weren't a lot of people in the world they trusted to see them like this, injured and exhausted and close to crying because it all hurt, it always had. In fact, most of those people, four of them, lived in the old diner where they couldn't -wouldn't- go. Most of those people...but not all of them.

Poison turned the Trans Am to a different path, speeding towards a little radio shack in the middle of the desert. If nothing else, they knew Dr. D would be happy to fix them up and send them on their way again, and then they could head back to diner late at night when no one was awake and no one would need to know they had gotten stabbed like a dumbass.

Unluckily for them, it was one in the fucking morning, and Dr. D was soundly asleep when they stumbled into the station. They assumed, at least, given that he was nowhere to be seen and the radio station was quiet. Empty, in fact. Or at least the living room was. Poison stumbled towards the broadcasting room, hearing a low voice from that direction.

Cherri Cola looked up they stumbled in the door, pausing in the middle of reading off a poem. "Poison?"

"Pepsi! I got stabbed." Poison tried to grin at him, the smile turning into a grimace at the pain in their side.

Cherri stared at them for a few moments, then turned back to the broadcast. "Well, WKIL listeners, I'm afraid this where I leave you for tonight, given that we've got a bit of a situation going on, but I should be back for later this night- well, this morning, technically, I'd say we're coming up on one am now. Cherri Cola, signing off." He turned back to Poison with a sigh. "Where did you get stabbed?"

They tried not to be offended at his huff. "Here. Where my hand is."

Cherri stood, gesturing to them to follow him back to the living room area, where he grabbed a first aid kit. "Lay down on the sofa, that much blood means I probably need to stitch you up."

"Great."

"I'm going to peel back your shirt, okay? Only as far as I need to clean and stitch it," Cherri promised.

Poison shrugged, pulling their jacket off before they laid down. "Do what y'have to."

His hands were scarred and calloused, the skin rough, but he was gentle when he pulled the bloody fabric away and started cleaning out the wound. They gasped in pain anyways, gritting their teeth as their side sent flickers of agony running through them.

"Sorry, sorry," Cherri said quietly. "I promise only a bit more to go, I just need to stitch this."

Poison nearly screamed when he started the first stitch, letting out a strangled yelp instead. "How much longer?"

"Three more stitches, then I'm done."

They gritted their teeth again, clenching their fists by their sides as he tied off the next stitch, and the next, and the next.

"Okay, done." Cherri set the needle aside, closing the first aid kit. "You okay?"

Poison would have laughed if they weren't in so much pain. "Of course 'm not fucking okay. Why would I be fucking okay?"

They hated the pity on his face as he gently scooted them over to sit down next to them. "Silly question, I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

Poison could have been dignified, but they chose to lean against him instead as the feelings they had been bottling up came pouring out. "Everything. Everything is wrong because Kobes is always angry and Jet's always sad and Ghoul's scared and Motorbaby shouldn't have to grow up here, shouldn't have to see us fall apart. What's the point? What's the point, Cola? What are we fighting for? Is there even a future ahead of us? What's even the point of life?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"There isn't a point." Poison gaped at him. "There isn't a point to life, not unless you make one. You have to decide what you want, what's worth fighting for."

The words fell softly into the quiet of the radio station, shattered by Poison's harsh voice. "And how the fuck am I supposed t' do that?"

"It's hard to describe, but..." Cherri trailed off. "Find what means something to you. What you love. For me that's poetry, and Newsie, and D and Pone and you and your crew, and the stars. Also, Mad Gear, they're vastly superior to Benny and the Trampolines."

Poison managed a small laugh. "True that. But what is the point, to you?"

“Well, in the simplest form...the point of life is happiness.”

“I thought the point of my life was to change the world,” they muttered bitterly. Maybe it made them an asshole, maybe the other was trying to help, but it was their fucking job to change things and they were tired of it.

Cherri’s voice was heartbreakingly gentle. “It doesn’t matter how big of a difference you made to the world. All that matters is that you made a different to you.”

Poison found that their eyes were stinging, tears collecting in them. “Are you sure?” Their voice sounded small and pathetic, and they hated it.

“I’m sure. You deserve happiness, more than anything else. It should never be your job to save the world, not so young. Never.”

They tried to speak again, but all that came out was a shuddering, gasping sob. Some small part of them was embarrassed, mortified to be crying in front of Cherri Cola, of all people, but the bigger part of their mind couldn’t bring themself to care. Not when their heart ached more than the wound in their side, not when Cherri was holding his arms out silently, clearly an offer.

Maybe it made them weak, but Poison took the comfort, letting themself be encased safely in the older killjoy’s arms. “I don’t want to die, Cola.” They hated how their voice shook. “I don’t want to die.”

“I know. I know.”

“I want to save everyone, I want to make a difference.” They let out another sob. “But I don’t want to die.”

“Your life should never be the price,” Cherri murmured.

“But it is. But it is! I have to- I’m going to die ch- changing the world. I’m supposed to- to save everyone, even if I have to d-die to do it.”

Poison thought they heard his usually unshakable voice waver a little. “No, Poison, no. This never should have been your job."

"Well who- who was g- going to do it?"

They couldn't see his face, but his voice was very quiet. "It was supposed to be D and I, years and years ago. Me, and D, and Lily. It shouldn't have even been Newsie and Chimp, shouldn't have been Pony, definitely shouldn't have been you. I'm sorry, Poison."

"'s okay." They found themself curling up further, head leaning on his shoulder. "Who's Lily?"

"White Lily, leader of the first rebellion, said to be one of the first of the killjoys," Cherri murmured. "Giver of plastic flower hairclips, the only person who was allowed to call Newsie 'News', and one of my three siblings. In a way."

"Oh." Another sob made its way out of their throat, but this mysterious 'Lily' was a good distraction. "Tell me about her?"

"Well, the day I met her, she was twenty-one and she asked me 'Did this softy offer you a place to stay?'..." Cherri launched into a quiet story about two kind killjoys who offered a desperate sixteen-year-old the first real home he had ever known. His voice was low, soothing, and Poison let themself relax a little bit as they listened to the story.

"D' you have any more stories about 'your day'?"

"I think I have some poems about it, actually," Cherri replied dryly. "Stories, yes, but also poems, which are easier."

"Not easier to understand," Poison muttered, but they let him half carry them back into the broadcast room and proceeded to drape themself over his lap when he started up again.

"Hello there, my late-night crash queen friends, it's me, Cherri Cola, back again. At the request of my companion, the next few poems of the corner will be about the olden days, back before you rock and rollers were out on the road." He started on a poem which Poison thought must have been about Dr. D, plenty of metaphors about the voice of the desert. After that one and one more was finished, he switched on some music and turned back to them.

"When is your crew expecting you home?"

"Don't know. Concert was over at midnight, but they know I sometimes stay out later. For all I know, they all went to bed."

"I'm going to radio the diner, if that's okay?"

"Don't want them t' know I got hurt." Their words were mashed up more from sleepiness than blood loss by now.

"I'll say you got lost." Cherri's tone was joking, but his voice grew serious again as he went on. "Or I'll just say you're staying here tonight, you don't owe them an explanation of why. You do owe it to them to make sure they aren't worried for you, though."

"Okay." They felt rather schooled, staring down at the perpetually dirty floor of the radio station as Cherri fiddled with the radio.

Eventually, Fun Ghoul picked up, sounding sleepy. "Hello?"

"Hey, Ghoul."

"What is it, Cola? You got word of Party?"

"They decided to drop by after the concert, so we're hanging out tonight. They'll be okay, just too tired to drive the Am safely. I'll send them back tomorrow morning by the time you need the Trans Am for anything, but please tell the others not to worry."

"Gotcha. Motorbaby got sleepy, took Jet and Kobra to get her to sleep 'cause Pois is out, then they conked out. I told them to. But if they wake up, I'll tell them, and I won't worry toooo much. Tell Pois I said hi!"

Poison was incredibly thankful Ghoul had picked up instead of one of the other two, since xe wasn't the sort to ask many questions. Kobra would have been suspicious, and Jet would have been pretty decent about it but concerned. And Poison didn't need those two's concern right now.

"Right, well, sleep well, Ghoul. Pois says hi," Cherri said. That was technically a lie, since Poison hadn't said anything, but they didn't really mind. Ghoul deserved some reassurance, even if it was false.

Cherri clicked the radio off. "Right, my stabbed friend. I've got some more broadcasting to do, but you're welcome to stay."

"You're an insufferable bastard," Poison yawned.

"Yes, I am. Sleep well, Sleepy Poison."

Poison had absolutely not intended in any way, shape, or form to fall asleep on Cherri's lap, but they found themself yawning again as he started on another poem. And before they or he had a chance to say goodnight, they were out like a light.

#cherri cola #party poison #auri writes

[xxxmidnightmasqueradexxx]

Persona 5 Ship Rankings Part 1 {{This is gonna be a long one, so I’m only going over one shipping here, the rest will come later.}}

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: All of this is just my persona opinion! I am not looking to start up any debates or otherwise. So I respectfully ask that you DON’T try and start anything with me. I just want to talk about my favorite/liked/disliked ships in peace. Thank you~ ALSO WARNING! THERE IS BOUND TO BE SPOILERS SO YEH! {{I will be pulling up interactions of said characters from both the game and anime for certain ships, so expect spoilers for both the game and anime!}}

Here I shall discuss the ship Akiren/Ryuji {{Note that this is mostly all speculation, seeing hints, context clues, subtext and what not. I’m not trying to push this ship onto anyone or say that it’s actually canon. I’m just saying I believe that there’s something there and that it’s my personal canon. but it doesn’t have to be yours.}}

Akiren/Ryuji: 

I cannot rank this ship with numbers alone, because this ship just sails itself in both the Anime and In The Game. There’s just so much subtext for these two that’s led me to believe that they’re endgame. However if you must know what number rank I’d give them... 

I give them an infinity outta infinity and beyond.

Hoo boy! Strap in everyone cause this is gonna be a LONG one! In this essay I shall tell you all exactly why I believe personally that Akiren/Ryuji is actually the endgame Persona 5 ship! 

Of course you don’t have to agree but just hear me out! For starters Akiren and Ryuji meet under the most bizarre of circumstances. They start out as strangers thrust into a life or death situation after unknowingly stumbling into Kamoshida’s Palace. 

While there, Ryuji shows just how much he cares for Akiren’s well being, despite them being literal strangers! Ryuji immediately asks Akiren if he’s alright upon waking up, and it’s shown by his tone of voice and facial expression that he’s genuinely concerned for Akiren. 

Akiren at this point in time can also ask Ryuji if he’s alright as well, which Ryuji replies more or less to. Then not even a few minutes later, Kamoshida comes in and sentences the both of them to death. Ryuji is understandably terrified, and claims he doesn’t want to die. However despite not wanting to die, he does show that he’s willing to do so, if it means Akiren can escape with his life. 

He even orders him to run. So yes, even though Ryuji doesn’t WANT to die, and he states in terror he doesn’t want to, he was willing to die all the same. Anyone in their right mind faced with a life and death situation would also say they don’t wanna die, even if they know that dying meant that there was a chance someone else could live.

Akiren upon seeing Ryuji’s life in peril, and after watching him get tortured by Kamoshida, literally gets so fucking pissed off that he stands up to Kamoshida therefore becoming a threat to him. This in turn helps Akiren awaken to his Persona. Akiren awoke to his Persona because of his desire to save Ryuji.

 Akiren stood up to Kamoshida to save Ryuji’s life, not because Kamoshida had wronged him personally, it was all to save Ryuji and that just speaks volumes to me. Because every other team mate that The Phantom Thieves gain, always awakens because they have a personal score to settle with A Palace Leader. 

It’s never anything as grand as desiring to protect The already existing members of The Phantom Thieves. But here, Akiren has no personal connection with Kamoshida, he’s only heard of him being this supposed perverted teacher who preys on innocent Students who can’t fight back. Akiren’s reasoning for standing against Kamoshida was as simple as not being able to ignore that someone’s life -Ryuji’s- was in danger, and acting upon it. 

{{I LITERALLY CANNOT TELL YOU JUST HOW MANY TIMES I’VE REPLAYED THIS SCENE! JUST TO WATCH AKIREN AWAKEN TO ARSENE, JUST SO HE CAN KICK SOME SHADOW ASS TO SAVE RYUJI FROM CERTAIN DEATH. LIKE FUCKING YES! AKIREN! YOU SAVE THAT BEAUTIFUL BLONDE BOY! YOU SAVE HIM AND YOU SAVE HIM GOOD!}}

After that, the two of them blindly rush off into the Palace with one another, trying to find an exit. Ryuji also shows his concern during this little segment, when they’re jumping over rushing water, telling Akiren that he better not fall while they’re crossing over the water.

Then they meet a curious feline named Morgana, whom helps them escape from Kamoshida’s Palace. Afterwards, Ryuji and Akiren become unlikely friends, pulled together by an experience only they could relate to.

Ryuji asks Akiren to meet him on the roof of the School, and there, they talk about what happened. In the end Ryuji tries to brush it all off as some weird-ass dream. But he still thanks Akiren for saving him from Kamoshida even if it was just a ‘dream’.

Ryuji also doesn’t give a damn about all these rumors spreading around Akiren, and wants to be friends. 

{{Speaking of later on after Akiren tells Ryuji what actually happened that landed him in probation, Ryuji is visibly upset at this.-In the Anime he actually sheds tears upon hearing what happened- And in game he’s also upset, to the point where he raises his voice in anger upon knowing what was done to Akiren.}}

Eventually Ryuji and Akiren both go back into Kamoshida’s Palace, upon which they reunite with Morgana. While in the Palace, Akiren waits for Ryuji to memorize the faces of the Cognitive students that are being abused by Kamoshida’s Shadow, which means the real Kamoshida is abusing the real students in the School too. 

One event leads to another, and we get to a point that Akiren and Morgana are rendered helpless upon the ground, about to be killed. During this event, Akiren speaks out, telling Ryuji to stand up for himself, to not allow himself to give into hopelessness. 

To rise against Kamoshida, an adult who has abused, oppressed, and hurt Ryuji and caused everyone to label Ryuji as a problem child. Causing everyone to label Ryuji as the track traitor, caused the entire School and most of the Teachers to dislike Ryuji in general.

Ryuji finally gets to his feet and stands up against Kamoshida,not only because of what Kamoshida has done to him, but also because---

Akiren is about to be killed by a Shadow. 

The Shadow is about to bring its sword down upon Akiren. Ryuji literally fucking woke to his Persona to save Akiren and---

That’s just fucking beautiful man.

Watching Ryuji awaken to Captain Kidd, to save the guy he now considers his best friend, even though they’ve only known one another for a short while is just-

BLESSED CONTENT.

{{LIKE EFF YA, RYUJI! YOU AWAKEN TO CAPTAIN KIDD TO SAVE YOUR BEST FRIEND AND KICK SOME ASS! FUCK THEM ALL UP YOU BEAUTIFUL REBELLIOUS SUNSHINE BOY! SHOW THEM WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY THREATEN THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT!}}

 No other teammates have awoken to their Personas to save the other, besides Akiren and Ryuji. Both of them awoke to their Personas to save each other, and you don’t see that in ANY other awakenings. The other awakenings are all about the other Phantom Thief members standing up to the unjust treatments of the Palace rulers towards them and in Ann’s sake -other people she cares about-. 

Other than that you don’t really see any of the other Phantom Thieves waking to their Persona to save one another. Akiren and Ryuji are probably the only examples of this through the entire game/anime and they’re still just fresh friends at this point. 

If THIS doesn’t speak volumes about how much Akiren and Ryuji have come to care for one another, then I don’t know what fucking does. Doesn’t it seem like the start of a romance to you? 

Because this just parallels the start of so many romantic stories. Two strangers coming together, both of them being cast out by society, both of them coming together and facing death defying odds and doing incredible feats to save one another.

{{Also not to mention it’s adorable how when Ryuji and Akiren go get some food, Ryuji puts more food on Akiren’s plate after he notices Akiren’s barely touched his food. And even when Akiren assures him he can do that himself, Ryuji insists that he has to TREAT him, to thank him.}}

{{Oh and this little animation of Ryuji having to touch Akiren as they open a treasure chest together.. like OMG HOW ARE THEY THIS FUCKING ADORABLE?!}}

Anyways through the course of the anime/game, Akiren and Ryuji’s friendship just deepens even more. Especially during the game in Ryuji’s confidant ranks he’s always saying how cool Akiren is. Complimenting him, and saying the cutest fucking shit like he feels free whenever he’s talking to Akiren. 

Thanking Akiren whenever he gets the chance, like Ryuji literally thanks Akiren all the time. So much to the point it’s nearly god damn ridiculous the amount of times Ryuji thanks Akiren. Also just the fact that in game Akiren is given the option to square down with the former Track Team while they’re shit talking Ryuji is just... AHHHHH it warms my heart. 

There’s just so many instances in game while Akiren is hanging out with Ryuji, that Ryuji will just suddenly say something so fucking heartfelt out of the god damn blue. Once Ryuji is maxed out, he tells Akiren that if he EVER needs help with anything EVER- that he’s there for him. That he has his back no matter what. 

Like there’s this one instance where Ryuji tells Akiren that he found his place next to him. And then he’s like: Huh... I guess your place is next to me...

And then seriously...

During one of their hangouts, right before Ryuji and Akiren go for a ride on an attraction, Akiren has the option to tell Ryuji to go by himself. 

And what is Ryuji’s reaction to that?! 

“What are you scared? Don’t worry I’ll protect ya...wait... that came out wrong. Hey there’s a ton of couples around here. I wonder what they think when they see us?” - Ryuji

^^^ That’s right, he’s immediately embarrassed by what he’s said, and his mind then IMMEDIATELY jumps to the fact that there’s so many couples around them and he’s asking Akiren what they might be THINKING seeing them here together. Why would his mind even be thinking about the couples around them for? 

My best guess would be he’s wondering if the couples around him think that he and Akiren are a couple. And even upon thinking that, he seems totally chill with it. Like he doesn’t really give a damn if they do or not. Honestly I think Ryuji just wanted to see what Akiren thought. Ryuji wanted to know if he was bothered by the fact that the other couples could potentially see them as a pair.

Also right before the end of the game if Akiren says that there’s nothing to see in his hometown, Ryuji will remark: What are you talking about? You’re there. - 

AND IF THAT AIN’T THE GOD DAMN CUTEST FUCKING THING AHHH----

Anyways back to all the subtext that happens in the main story. Right after they take down Kamoshida, and go to the restaurant, there’s a choice for Akiren to say he’s so happy. And Ryuji says that it’s cute hearing him say something like that. 

Right after that, Akiren, Ryuji and Morgana all need to go find a bathroom because they over ate. Then Shido -the uncle Ian looking ass motherfucker- comes by and is being a snobby ass bitch. Akiren has the choice to demand that he and his posse apologize to Ryuji. 

After he leaves though, Akiren realizes Shido’s voice is familiar to him, but he can’t place it just yet. Ryuji at that point turns to Akiren and takes notice that something is up with him. And if Akiren says he’s feeling lightheaded, Ryuji will look concerned and say: You not feelin’ good? - In a very concerned tone, like...he’s just so worried cause his best friend is telling him he’s feeling lightheaded and not feeling well.-

But then Morgana, not really knowing why Akiren isn’t feeling well, will pipe up and just say it’s probably because neither of them eat well, and this will soothe Ryuji’s worries, because from what he knows of Akiren, it makes sense that he might not feel well at all after over eating when he doesn’t eat enough.

Ryuji is also super physically affectionate with Akiren, in the anime there’s a lot of instances where Ryuji will be touching Akiren. Either his shoulder with his hand, or he’ll drape his arm over his shoulders and pull him close to him, or he’ll press his shoulder against his. 

Especially the scene in the bathhouse.

But you’re probably thinking in the anime Akiren says: “Don’t touch me” 

However I think it’s so obvious that Akiren said it because he’s bashful. Ryuji literally pressed up against him with no warning, while they’re both in a tub together. 

How can that not be awkward and embarrassing for Akiren, who has been presented as someone who is very socially awkward? Like he’s seriously just a god damn shy nerd that really only shows off his more confident and sassy side when he’s acting as the Leader of The Phantom Thieves.

They’re in reality, so right then Akiren isn’t the bad ass, suave Leader of The Phantom Thieves, he’s just the shy and awkward nerdy Akiren of reality.

So yes, Akiren might have told Ryuji NOT to touch him, but given all the context and subtext, it’s obvious he’s just shying away from being touched out of the blue like that.

-Also Akiren was totally fine with Ryuji touching him before that, he didn’t mind all the physical contact. So for him to suddenly be “disgusted” by Ryuji touching him in the tub makes no damn sense. Akiren didn’t mind all the other times Ryuji’s been physically close to him. 

So yeh, Akiren didn’t tell Ryuji not to touch him because he was disgusted, he was just surprised. Anyone would be if their best friend just pressed up against them without warning while they were in a bath house together.-

Speaking of other physical contact they’ve had:

There’s that scene in the anime where Akiren and Ryuji’s hands linger for just a few seconds together in Sae’s Palace, right before Akiren takes the suitcase, and leaves either to pull of one of the greatest acts of deceit, or to his death. And even if Ryuji says: I’m sure you’re not gonna die

The fact that his hand lingers there against Akiren’s prove his unspoken worry for him.

And then when Akiren arrives back at Leblanc? Who is there by his side first? Ryuji. He pulls him into a one-armed side hug. So happy to see him back and safe.

{{Also I will never get over the fact that Ryuji calls Akiren by Renren in the anime quite often. Also this nickname he gave to Ren he gave it to Ren really early on in the anime. It’s like a god damn pet name that a person would give to the person of their affections. So to hear Ryuji cry out “Renren” with utter joy in the anime, and rush over to him upon coming back.... is just...GAH MY FUCKING HEART IT’S SO FULL OF RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES IT’S TOO CUTE!}}

Ryuji always seems to need to be touching Akiren, like, he just needs to touch him at certain times. Like he just can’t help himself.

Oh and let’s not forget about the Hawaii trip and the gay implications in the game about Akiren that happen there.

What happens with the Hawaii trip? If Akiren -in game- doesn’t show any interests towards girls. Ryuji -in the game- will ask Akiren what kind of guys he likes. And this is no mistake, because he asks it twice. First he gets interrupted by Yuuki {{Mishima}} because he’s gotten himself sick by drinking tap water. And so he says it again. 

Oh and during the school Festival, Akiren has the chance to yell to everyone he loves Ryuji. And during that moment, you can hear the 3 note happy jingle that plays when Akiren makes a confidant happy. So it heavily implies that Ryuji was secretly happy to know that Akiren was gonna say something like that. But true to Ryuji form, he would die of sheer embarrassment if Akiren shouted that in front of everyone.

Then there’s the time they’re all in Destinyland, and they’re watching the fireworks.

Yusuke says the scenery is quite beautiful. 

Akiren turns to look at Ryuji - Right as Futaba playfully says this in response to Yusuke: “But it’s not as beautiful as you!” isn’t that what couples would say to one another?

Ryuji also then turns to look at Akiren after Futaba says that.

THEY’RE LEGIT LOOKING AT ONE ANOTHER! WHILE THIS TALK OF COUPLES AND BEING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING ON! 

LIKE?!?!? UH------??!!?

ATLUS EXCUSE ME?!?! AT THIS POINT YOU’RE NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE ABOUT IT ANYMORE!

Anyways lets get to late game stuff. 

Like take for example- Ryuji calling up Akiren right before they take Shido down -in game- Ryuji seemed to want to tell Akiren something over the phone. But he stops himself and says never mind. 

He’s like: “Hey Akiren... once we change Shido’s heart...no, nevermind, forget it.”

And then the phone call ends...

It’s like...RYUJI! WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY RYUJI!? TELL US RYUJI!

I don’t care who you are THAT phone call sounded like the start of a confession that Ryuji didn’t end up following through with.

Seriously there’s just so much content for these two, that it’s hard to deny that they’ve a strong bond with one another. From Ryuji defending Akiren from Makoto, saying that Akiren is an upstanding guy, to Ryuji being SERIOUSLY protective over Akiren whenever someone wrongs him.

There’s so many instances where Ryuji will yell at people that have treated Akiren unfairly. 

Take Shido for example before the battle in game, Ryuji literally states: OUR LEADER’S GONE THROUGH SHIT, CAUSE OF YOU! IT’S ON!

Ryuji is ALSO very hostile towards Akechi, yes part in fact because he opposes The Phantom Thieves, but also because they discover the fact that Akechi was planning in killing Akiren. And Ryuji shows his utter distress at the fact Akiren might die because of that bastard.

OH AND BACK TO SHIDO’S PALACE

It was a god damn fucking SHAME that Akiren hardly reacted at all to the “supposed” death of Ryuji. 

Literally in both the game and the anime and it hurts me so much that they didn’t give him more of a reaction. 

Because you can CLEARLY tell they care so deeply for one another.

LIKE BITCH WHAT THE FUCK!? 

AKIREN’S BEST FRIEND JUST SUPPOSEDLY DIED! LIKE YOU CANNOT DENY THAT OUT OF ALL HIS FRIENDSHIPS, RYUJI WAS OBVIOUSLY HIS CLOSEST AND MOST INTIMATE ONE!

LIKE LET THE BOY SHOW HIS EMOTIONS OVER THAT. 

GOD DAMN THEM FOR MAKING AKIREN’S REACTION UNDERWHELMING!!!

Ahem anyways!

Onward to when after the Thieves all vanish from reality, and end up in The Velvet room prison. 

Once Akiren has found Ryuji he immediately dives into how it reminds him of their first meeting, when they were locked up at Kamoshida’s Palace. Ryuji then starts to doubt what they were doing, as if all the pressure that had been weighing on them and all the responsibility they had to take up - had come crashing down on him. Akiren is then able to talk it out with Ryuji, and help him regain his drive and rebellious spirit.

. -In the anime it also seems Akiren found Ryuji first out of anyone else, like he was destined to find him, although that might be stretching it and me looking too deep, but still it just seemed too intentional-

Ryuji calls Akiren so tough, for still being able to take a stand, while he’s just sitting there trapped and being consumed by so many emotions. Ryuji remarks upon thinking about it, he’s the one that really started all this Phantom Thief stuff, because of how pissed off he was.And maybe he was just doing all this out of defiance. Akiren’s first dialogue choice option is to tell him that how he felt was fine.

Ryuji then seems utterly shocked to hear Akiren say it’s fine. But he doesn’t question it, he just accepts it as the truth. He tells Akiren he is right. Then he gets back up and calls forth his rebellious spirit to stand alongside Akiren to fight a God that they don’t even know if they have any chance of winning against.

Like how is that not giving off serious vibes of there being something more between Akiren and Ryuji?

Then finally after all the shit with Yaldabaoth is finished up, and Christmas day rolls around, and Ryuji notices that Akiren isn’t around. And that everyone seems so downcast

He’s the first to ask where Akiren is, he sounds so dismayed about it to. And upon hearing that Akiren is now in juvi, he slams his fist down into the chair booth, and cries out “WHAT THE HELL” and then he and the others all come together to try and figure out a way to help Akiren out of juvi. 

Ryuji gets up and says: Yeah! Now’s not the time to be hangin’ our heads!”

Then afterwards he firmly states: We’re gonna save our leader, no matter what it takes!”

Once Akiren is back, Ryuji is just so frikken overjoyed about it. In the anime he once again even calls out to Akiren as: RENREN! - In that excitable tone of his, showing just how happy he is.

Now we get to Valentines day. In the game if Akiren didn’t date any girls, Ryuji comes over and spends the day with Akiren. He even gives him chocolate. If Akiren asks Ryuji if it’s a confession he’s like: HELL NO.

And also depending on the choices you pick with Akiren there’s a dialogue path where Ryuji states he’s done with girls - and even though he says this: “you think I’ll get a girlfriend before I graduate highschool” - probably added for comedic affect, and Ryuji just pouting about it. He’s just a lonely boy really.

However that’s the in game version, but in the anime OVA hooo boooyyyy. That’s soo different! In the anime Valentines ova special.

In the anime ova special: A Magical Valentine’s Day-- Ryuji comes in all pouty. He even shakes Akiren asking him “what does it mean” after saying Yusuke got chocolates and after stating Mishima ain’t there. 

Ryuji sits back for a moment, then asks Akiren if he got any chocolates. Once Akiren says he didn’t Ryuji takes Akiren’s hand in both of his and sounds so jubilant that Akiren didn’t get any chocolates.

He cries out joyfully: “THAT’S MY RENREN!”

You hear that he says: MY

He calls Ren HIS! 

HE LITERALLY IS CALLING REN HIS HERE.

Not only that he’s cradling Ren’s hand in his, all tender like, and he gives him the chocolate. 

Akiren then asks Ryuji if he’s his Valentine.

To which Ryuji replies: Yes, yes you are...

But upon realizing what he’s said, he gets undeniably flustered and adds: NOT!

At the end of it. But he fucking SAID it. He admitted that yes, Akiren was his Valentine. Even if he added the not on there. HE SAID YES. Not only that he said YES TWICE.

Then Ryuji suggests they close the shop and hang out.

Afterwards we get to see Akiren and Ryuji standing closely together in the attic, through the window, and Ryuji totally pulls Akiren closer to him. Heavily implying that they probably kissed. 

Cause if you watch the whole special, every date ends with Akiren getting a kiss from his date!

So why the hell would Akiren and Ryuji’s special not end with a KISS? Even if we cannot clearly see that kiss. 

I’m not saying that they kissed...

OH TO HELL WITH IT.

THEY KISSED! THEY TOTALLY KISSED.

Anyways, I’m just stating the fact that this pairing seems to sail itself in the main story of the game, and in the anime itself. There’s just so much between them that points to the fact that there’s much more going on with them than just being friends. 

Their relationship is made so it can be viewed in a romantic way. And I just happen to think that due to all this evidence, the subtle hints, the not so subtle hints, and the way Akiren and Ryuji seem to adore one another to the point they can tell each other anything, and everything, and be so trusting and physically affectionate - that Akiren/Ryuji is ENDGAME.

But hey that’s just a theory a GAME/ANIME THEORY! 

I’m sorry. I’ll shut up now.

But before I do, this is just a reminder that this is all my personal views, and I’m not asking people to enjoy this ship. If you don’t care for this ship, or for Ryuji as a character, or you don’t think that Ryuji or Akiren are either gay/bi - then that’s fine with me. You can dislike this ship or not agree.

Just don’t come storming into my inbox, or reblogging this with negativity, I beg you. I don’t want to see any negative stuff being sent my way for just expressing my love for this ship. If you want to talk about your dislike for this ship then do it somewhere else and DON’T involve me! 

With that being said, I believe that Ryuji is bi, and Akiren is probably gay. And no matter what Atlus says contrary wise, there’s just too much implications to be denied here. Through the entire game and anime itself it just seems to hold so much Akiren/Ryuji content. There’s just so much of it that I’ve probably missed many scenes just while writing this post.

This is why to me Akiren/Ryuji are boyfriends and why they will always be my number 1 favorite Persona 5 ship.

A Good friend of mine put the relationship of Akiren/Ryuji into simple and sweet words and I’d like to share it as my closing statement:

My Good Friend: 

Don’t get me wrong, I love their canon friendship so much. Their loyalty and willingness to die for each other and their friends fills me with joy. But bro...They are so intimate that it borderlines their friendship and becomes something so much more. Its beyond friendship, and beyond romantic love

HHhhhhh I LOVE THEM SHSJJS

And it really baffles me that there is people out there that somehow cannot see this. Or that they dont think this is the case

Their relationship (romantic or platonic) is so raw and powerful that you can see it miles away, like the ship or the characters or not. I can make a whole essay of why Akiren/Ryuji IN GENERAL is so beautiful and why they are so perfect for each other.

-END STATEMENT-

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope to those of you who do enjoy this ship are pleased with this post~

#Persona 5 #pegoryu #Akiryu #Akiren/Ryuji #Shipping #Persona 5 Ship #Ship Rank #In depth essay of the Pegoryu ship #Shipping support #I swear don't drag me into negativity #please just let me ship these two in peace #ignore this if you don't like this ship #leave me out of your ship hate

[bouwrites]

Even Heroes Have the Right to Dream: Chapter 13

To save the world or go to work, it’s the same thing to me.

First, Previous, Next. Ao3.

Story under read-more.

Marinette almost kissed Jon. She would have, had he not jumped away at the last minute. And bubbling up inside her is this dirty feeling she hasn’t had for a while now. A slimy loathing that fills her and tries to drag her down into it.

Not this time. Marinette will not fall prey to that feeling again. Yes, she almost kissed Jon. Yes, it’s a sort-of, almost surprise to her just how willing she is to do so – how eager, even. Yes, he pulls away at the last moment, clearly not ready, or not willing, to kiss her.

Yes, she feels like an idiot. Like, despite how fresh her realization that her feelings for him may not be entirely platonic, she’s just been rejected. But he does lean in in the first place. He does give her that touching speech about how important she is to him and look at her like she has the galaxy mapped out in her face. And the last thing she’ll believe is that all of that was a lie.

Marinette feels that self-loathing, the childish hatred that tells her that there’s something wrong with her, that it’s stupid of her to think Jon will ever like her like that. She feels it, and she grabs it by its metaphorical balls and tells it to go die.

Marinette is the guardian of the Miraculous, former hero of Paris, and a grown twenty-two-year-old woman. Little embarrasses her more about her past than her ridiculousness around Adrien. She’s not going to let another crush turn her into that little girl again. She’s especially not re-adopting the self-destructive habits of that little girl.

This is Jon. Her roommate, her best friend. The man she fully intends to spend the rest of her life with, romantically or not. The man who just finished spilling his heart out to her about how much he loves her, even if he doesn’t use those exact words. The man whom she just finished spilling her heart out to about how much she loves him.

Besides, they’ve been through this before. They learned from the first time and put that lesson into practice the second. They have to communicate.

So, even though Marinette feels a little stupid and a little childish, and even though she’s awkwardly shuffling away from him on their perch on a thick tree branch, she waits. He’s the one that retreats from the kiss, so she’s hoping he’ll say something first.

And he does. “I- I, uh…” Jon clears his throat and hugs himself. “I’m… sorry. I- I didn’t- I wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking. I just… you’re… so beautiful. And I… I love you so much.”

Marinette is surprised at the confession. Even though he says it like a question, it makes a familiar warm embarrassment and affection blossom within her.

“Oh, God.” Jon covers his face. “I didn’t even realize. Oh, okay, um… I’m so sorry. I’m still processing.”

Marinette can see the weak, hopeless smile on his face mixed with the barely held together panic and frustration in his eyes and sighs. She can relate. She doesn’t feel all that different right now. “Do you need a moment?” She asks.

“Yes please.” He squeaks.

Marinette giggles and nods. “Me too.”

And she really does. People have been teasing her about or implying she likes Jon for a while now – basically since she broke up with Adrien, honestly, though it’s really picked up since last semester when they really got into a nice groove of living together and working to help each other and just generally all the domestic happiness they’ve found. And that’s fine. It doesn’t bother her. It’s embarrassing, a little, just because it’s not true – or it wasn’t – and more than a few times Jon is right there to witness it, but he never makes it awkward either. He just laughs it off or ignores it if there’s no need to correct it, so Marinette ends up taking the same approach.

It’s easy. It’s comfortable. It’s nice.

And he’s cute, for sure. Those big eyes behind those glasses will surely be the death of her (she can never resist when he tries for the puppy eyes, but then again she’s weak to Adrien and Alya’s puppy eyes as well), and she may or may not have admired him once or twice.

It’s actually ridiculous how, despite having seen him in various states of undress, it’s his arms that linger in Marinette’s mind. The muscles working as he leans over the tractor, the (disgusting) smears of oil and grime across his hands and arms, how they flex when he moves, it’s criminal. Marinette doesn’t think much of it at the time beyond appreciating his body (which is a perfectly acceptable thing for a friend to do, if Alya is any sort of standard), but now, after their egregiously romantic night under the stars, it all takes a new context.

Honestly, Marinette thinks, almost pouting, how can anyone expect me not to fall in love after that? She looks out to the horizon again, soaking in the sight of the stars, the faint glow of the galaxy so clear out here – she’s never seen that in person before. This is something she only gets to see because of Jon. This is something that Jon went out of his way to bring her to see.

And then he goes and tells her all that about how she’s changed his life and how thankful he is that they’re together and… yeah. If Marinette didn’t love him before, she’s basically legally obligated to at this point.

The dumbest part about it is that, based on how Jon himself is pulling at his hair, he didn’t even intend for tonight to be romantic. Hindsight is 20-20, Marinette supposes. And something she can see with perfect clarity is that whatever is going on between her and Jon, from this moment forward, is not simply friendship.

What exactly it is, though… is another story. Does she like him? Marinette does not struggle to say that yes, she probably does. But is she so bold as to admit such now? He says he loves her, but he’s still processing, too. She should let him figure himself out first before entering into this. She absolutely loves him, deeply and platonically, and it won’t do to misinterpret things before they get the chance to think it through for themselves, and then talk it out like the grown adults they are.

She needs to figure herself out, too. But she has to give him something. Something so that he’s not left hanging until they do have that talk, which will definitely be soon.

“Hey, Jon?” She says carefully.

“Mhmm?”

“I… I think I love you, too.”

Jon’s eyes snap to hers. There’s such a deep uncertainty in them, a hesitation that solidifies Marinette’s resolve that, though this conversation needs to happen, they’re both a bit caught off-guard by tonight. “But…” She says, “neither of us expected this, did we?”

Jon winces. “Uh… no.”

“I thought so. We’re going to need to talk about it.”

“I know!” Jon says quickly. “And I do! I want to talk about it! I just- I need to- I need to get my thoughts and- and- everything all in order first.” He sighs, and his pained expression turns away to face the grass. “I’m sorry. I know I need to-”

“Don’t apologize, Jon.” Jon shuts his mouth sharply at Marinette’s words. She touches his shoulder, and a relieved calm spreads through her when he leans into the touch. “We’re both caught off guard, and I don’t think either of us really know where our heads are at right now. So why don’t we take the rest of the break to figure things out? Just for a day or two, we’ll go on like we have been, as if we didn’t just… well almost kiss. Take the time to examine our feelings, make sure this isn’t just… this stupidly romantic night.” Jon chuckles sheepishly along with her as he glances to the starry night sky. “Then when we’re back in New York and in our apartment and we’ve had some time to process it all, we’ll talk about it. Okay?”

Jon bites his lip and nods. “If you think that’s best.”

Marinette lets out a weak chuckle. “No offense, but I also just don’t want to have this conversation while we still have a several-hour car ride back home ahead of us. That would be… just unbearable if this makes things awkward.”

“I don’t want it to be awkward.” Jon whimpers. “I don’t want this to mess everything up.”

“It won’t.” Marinette assures him. She speaks the words with such surety only because she also needs to convince herself. But this is Jon. He’s… one of the very few things she truly does trust absolutely. They can make it work, even in the worst-case scenario. He’s home. “We won’t let it. No matter what, right? We’ll always be best friends.”

Slowly, the smile returns to Jon’s face, and the night feels so much brighter. “Yeah. For sure. Thanks, Marinette. I… I can believe when you say it. That’s another reason why I love you, I guess.”

Wow, that still feels strange to hear. It does funny things to her heart, too.

Marinette sleeps on the issue. Last night, she’s caught up in the moment. She’s swept off her feet, figuratively and literally, by this place and by Jon, and she’s still only human. It’s easy to get caught up in those kinds of things.

Yet when she heads back out to the living room and spies Jon still slumbering on the couch, she feels a surge of warmth overcome her. It’s impossible to keep the fond smile from her face. Not that she tries.

Yeah, I definitely love him, don’t I? The reassurance is steadying, bracing, but it also gnaws away in her gut. I’m going to have to tell everyone.

Marinette retreats to Jon’s room once more and checks the time. Alya will kill me if I don’t keep her updated on this. And Adrien… Marinette sighs.

“Are you alright, Master?”

“Wayzz,” Marinette sighs once more. “I told you not to call me that.”

“Ah, my apologies. But are you…?”

“I’m fine.” Marinette turns her eyes to the glow-in-the-dark stars in the room. The sunlight streaming through the window renders them to simple little off-color shapes, but they still bring to mind the real stars from last night. “I’m just worried about Adrien. It’s been a long time since we broke up, but…”

“I see.” Wayzz nods slowly, almost a bow. “You are in love with Jonathan.”

Marinette sits down on the bed and stares at her phone. There are strange butterflies in her gut, but they aren’t about Jon. How odd, that the next time she falls in love she would feel none of that frantic energy from the first time. “I guess I always knew this would happen.” Marinette says. “With someone, anyway. Since I broke up with Adrien, I mean. I knew we weren’t going to get back together. I still can’t be with a hero, not like that, but…”

“But you have accepted your role as guardian.” Wayzz says. “You have made progress. Do you wonder if you might accept him being a hero if you had more time?”

Marinette shuts her eyes. “Hard not to wonder.” It’s not quite pain that settles over her. Not quite that stinging hurt. It’s more of a cold dread, but even then, that’s not quite it. It’s the chilling, yet strangely reassuring embrace of the inevitable. A terrible thing accompanied by the relief that she no longer needs to wait for it, and that it will soon be behind her now that she can face it head on. It is… an odd feeling. “I was happy with him, despite everything else.”

“Sometimes, Mas- Marinette…” Wayzz says, “our paths through life are thrust upon us. Sometimes we seek them out. However, your free will to choose the path you want to walk is something that can never be taken from you. A good turtle is steady and constant. Take your time, choose your path, but do not falter when you walk it.”

Marinette worries her lip. “I understand.” She sighs heavily. “I know my path. My life is with Jon. I’ll… I’ll call Alya. I was going to tell her about Thanksgiving, anyway. She can help me with Adrien.”

Wayzz bows respectfully and hides again as she finds Alya’s contact. As she gets into the conversation with Alya, Alya can clearly see that she’s a bit off. She doesn’t interrupt, though. “I actually had a lot of fun.” Marinette says, concluding the story about the day. “It’s really nice to have a day to just remember to be thankful for what we have.”

Alya smiles gently. “Sounds like it did you some good.”

“Aha, I guess so. Um… at the end of it, Jon took me out to look at the stars.” Marinette laughs. “Alya, you’ll never believe the stars out here! Pictures really can’t do it justice; it’s so beyond beautiful!” Marinette blushes and clears her throat and Alya raises her brow silently, letting Marinette spill the scoop all on her own. “And, um… we, sort of… almost kissed.”

Marinette jumps and has to cover the speaker on her phone for fear that Alya’s shriek will be heard throughout the house. “Alya!” Marinette chastises her friend. “Don’t blow out my eardrums!”

“You kissed Jon?!”

“Almost! We didn’t actually-”

“Way to go, girl!”

“Alya!”

“Oooh, I want to hear every detail! The whole story, Marinette! Come on, a night under the stars out in the country? What did he say? What did you say? Come on! Don’t leave me hanging!”

“Alya, calm down!” Marinette groans. “I’ll tell you everything, but first, I need your help.”

Alya sobers quickly, nodding to her through the camera. “Of course. What can I do?”

Marinette’s hands tremble as she holds her phone. She debates putting it down, because Alya can surely tell, but she decides against it. It’s nice to have something to clutch, even if she worries a bit that she’ll break the thing. “Add Adrien to the call?”

Alya sucks in a hissing breath. “Oh.” She shakes her head. “It’ll be okay, Marinette. He loves you, yeah, but he’s been ready for this. I promise.”

“I hope so. I don’t want to hurt him.”

“I know, girl. Give me just a minute and I’ll have him here.”

Alya’s camera is jumbled around as she contacts Adrien, and not two minutes later the screen splits and Adrien’s beautiful face appears in another window. “Hi, Marinette! How’s Thanksgiving?”

Marinette smiles painfully at him. “Great! It’s been wonderful.”

“That’s great!”

“Actually,” Alya says, “Marinette was just about to tell me about the night she had with Jon.”

Marinette glares, mostly playfully, at her, but sighs and launches into the story. She starts from when he invites her outside to look at the stars and modifies only their flying stint to protect Jon’s identity. As she tells Alya and Adrien, Jon just drags her out into the field and convinces her to dance.

Close enough.

She keeps the exact details of their proclamations to each other under wraps as well, but she gives them both enough so that they have proper context for the almost-kiss.

“You like him.” Adrien says softly, fondly, when Marinette wraps up her story. She’s torn between being unable to look away from him and being unable to look at him, but she can see how gentle the look on his face is. “I’m happy for you, Marinette.” His eyes move from the screen for a moment, down, to the floor, and then he takes a breath and smiles. “You’ve clearly got excellent taste in men, if I do say so myself.”

Alya snorts. “Shut up, furry.”

“Says you, furry! Furry rights!”

Alya makes a clearly forced serious face at the screen, probably to Marinette. “Adrien Agreste just said furry rights.” She deadpans. “Marinette, my love, my best friend in the whole world, serious question. Is this world blessed or cursed? Because I legit do not know anymore.”

Marinette shrugs, unable to fight her grin. “He has a point. You don’t have much of a leg to stand on calling him a furry, considering.”

“Hey, I never said I wasn’t! Have you seen some of that fanart of us?” When Adrien immediately clears his throat, blushing profusely, Alya adds, “The safe for work stuff! Get your mind out of the gutter, Agreste!”

“Anyway!” Adrien says loudly. “I’m proud of you, Marinette. You deserve this with Jon. He’s a good guy, and I wish you both the best.”

Marinette smiles, both at their antics and simply in relief. “Thank you, Adrien. That means a lot to me.”

“You heard the boy!” Alya says. “Go get your man!”

Marinette giggles. “That’s still not happening until we get back. And if he decides not to pursue it, it’s not happening at all. I just wanted to keep you updated, and… and ask Adrien if he’s okay with it.”

“We’re not together anymore.” Adrien says gently. “You don’t need my permission.”

“No,” Marinette agrees. “but you’re still important to me. There’s no way I could decide something like this without talking to you about it.”

“I’m honored.” Adrien says. “But seriously. Go get your man.”

There’s nothing Marinette can do in response but laugh. “If you insist.”

It is a lie to say that the last day of their Thanksgiving break isn’t awkward at all. All things considered, though, it goes smoothly. Kara, Marinette assumes she must be Supergirl, is intercepted by Jon the one time she looks like she’s going to approach Marinette about the strange atmosphere between her and Jon, and the next time Marinette sees the woman Kara has that knowing look that Lois and both of Jon’s grandparents seem to have from the moment they see each other in the morning after Marinette’s phone call.

If Marinette’s own mother weren’t so good at reading the room between her and her friends (and especially Adrien, even back when they weren’t together) she’d think one of them eavesdropped on her talking with Alya and Adrien. But no, this is just a family thing. They know from Jon’s behavior that he likes her, and they’re amused by this.

Marinette rolls her eyes at the whole display, but she does appreciate that they don’t try anything like her own mother might. They’re perfectly friendly, and wondrous hosts, but all their teasing glances and smirks are directed Jon’s way rather than hers, and, she thinks, mostly behind her back.

Poor boy.

Marinette assumes that her deal with Jon to talk about it when they get back to New York is spread throughout the family somehow. And she’s glad for it, even when Clark (Marinette still can’t quite believe that he’s Superman) gives the two of them a cheeky wink and a “Good luck” that implies a lot more than just luck on their exams when they’re dropped back off at their apartment.

Jon is nervous. Marinette notices even at the farm, but as they approach their door he only gets worse. He’s buzzing with energy while Marinette inserts her key in the lock. He taps his foot, wrings his hands, adjusts his glasses, fiddles with his hair.

Marinette barely manages to close the door before he exclaims, “Can we talk about it now?”

Marinette has to take a moment to form her response, just because the timing catches her off guard, but he’s looking at her with such earnest hope in his eyes that even if she had other plans, she’d ditch them. “Of course. Let’s go to the living room.”

They sit at their tiny dining table, a scene that calls Marinette’s mind to when he was waiting for her last year, after winter break when she had to fight Mayura. She winces at the thought. In the end, they made their deal with each other, and Marinette is glad they did. She’s glad for where they are now, and that promise is a strong tie binding them together, so she can’t entirely regret that whole incident.

Even so, she hates herself for allowing such weakness. To go back to Ladybug, to come so close to passing the guardianship on to Adrien… She’s very lucky, and very thankful, that Jon is here for her.

“You are just inscrutable sometimes.” Jon sighs heavily, sinking into his chair. “You know that? I spent all day yesterday and today trying to figure out if you really like me back, but I’ve got nothing.”

Marinette blinks for a moment at his pouting, then at the words, and then she laughs. “I’ve been called a lot of things, Jon, but inscrutable has to be a new one. Most people think I’m an open book.”

“Most people are wrong.” Jon crosses his arms with a playful huff. “All I saw was you laughing at my folks teasing me the whole time.”

“Aw, I’m sorry.” Marinette says honestly. “It just reminded me of my parents whenever I had Adrien over back when we were kids. That’s all. I wasn’t trying to be mean.”

Jon tries valiantly to maintain the pout of his lips for a few more tough seconds before he breaks into a smile. “I know. But… seriously, about that night in the tree…” His eyes find the table as he takes a deep breath. “I meant every word, and I still mean it now. You’re… one of the most important people in my life, and whether we’re- you know- dating or- or not, I know for sure I want you in my life. For the rest of my life.” He ducks his head, making a face. “And that’s coming on really strong.” He mutters. “Tone it back, Jon.”

Marinette covers her mouth as she giggles at him. “Don’t worry, Jon. I feel the same way. This life, this… post-heroism life… I want you in it, too. I did even before Thanksgiving.”

“Oh, thank God.” Jon breathes shakily. “But, uh, about Thanksgiving. I… I really do like you, Marinette. Like, I love you. Like… That was definitely not just a heat of the moment thing. I’ve been thinking a lot about it and… the more I do, the more I regret not kissing you then when I had the chance.

“I’m really sorry I pulled away. I was just overwhelmed, and I didn’t realize what I was doing until we were already like right there and I just… I kind of freaked out.” He groans and covers his face with his hands. “Oh, God, this is embarrassing.”

Marinette smiles at him, still nervous and jittery about this whole thing, and a strange calm overtakes her. Adrien approves, Alya does, too, Jon is someone she can see herself spending the rest of her life with. Hell, she fully intends to keep rooming with him after university. Maybe in New York, or maybe Metropolis, or maybe he’ll even like the idea of moving to Paris, Marinette isn’t sure about that, yet, but she knows that if he wants to be there, there is absolutely a place for him in her future.

In fact, if he doesn’t want to be there, she’s quite sure her future will feel very empty. It would be quite an endeavor to fill that void. So, she tells him the truth, in hopes of calming his nerves a little. “I love you, too, Jon.”

“You do? You do!” Jon beams, so openly giddy that Marinette can’t help but reflect his joy. “That’s great! I mean- uh… Oh, God, now what?”

He really is silly when he’s flustered, isn’t he? “Now, we prepare for finals.” Marinette says. “Just because we love each other doesn’t mean we can slack on our exams.”

Jon flushes red and nods. “Yeah. Right. Of course, but…”

“We’ll go on a date soon. If you’re okay with that?”

“Yes!” He squeaks, nodding eagerly. “Totally okay with that!”

Marinette giggles. “Good.” She stands. “Now we still have to get everything back in order before classes start again, so if that’s all, I’m going to go double check that I have all my assignments squared away. I know there was at least one thing I still need to do.”

Jon seems to regain control of himself and nods. “Yeah, I’ve got work to do, too. Then more studying.”

“There’s not much time between now and finals, is there?”

Jon cards a hand through his hair. “Yeah, that’s how it is. Thanksgiving and Christmas are just too close, I guess.”

Marinette shakes her head. The last two years, she’s used Thanksgiving break to study more, so she’ll have to catch up this year, even if it’s just a few days. “Well, I’m going to get started. Good luck, Jon.” She puts one hand on his cheek, smiling at how he immediately turns red, and kisses his other cheek. Barely a ghost of a kiss, but the moment her lips touch his cheek she can’t help but linger just a moment, and it’s so much more intimate than common bisous.

Not that she often gives bisous over here in the States, but it’s still nice to ensure Jon feels the distinction. Especially when he turns all red like that. The blush covers his ears adorably, so Marinette just laughs and ruffles his hair before she heads off to her room to get started on studying.

There’re only a couple weeks until finals. Honestly, Marinette will have to be clever if she wants to plan a date before winter break. Then again, she supposes Jon can come to Paris during break. It’s long enough that there won’t be too much issue if he takes a day away from home to spend time in Paris.

She’ll have to think it over.

She and Jon really have bad timing, Marinette thinks. Aside from their miraculous meeting in the first place, everything seems to happen at the worst moments. Like, why on Earth do they decide to fall in love two weeks before winter break?

Now, Marinette is juggling not only finals and Christmas gift plans, but also date plans. Thank the powers that be for Jon stressing over his own finals and agreeing that date night can wait. Not that that stops them from having quiet nights in watching movies on their sofa, of course, those just aren’t really “dates” so much as what they always do. With slightly more cuddling. (Nothing too far, not yet, but Jon slings his arm around her shoulders and she leans on him and it’s a lot different in their hearts, if not quite so much in practice.)

She’s using a rare time of peace, with finals later this very week, to get just a little work done on a present for Jon. It’s nothing that can’t be done in Paris, of course, and in fact Marinette intends to get a lot of progress done on the plane, but the repetitive stiches help her center herself and she’s hoping this meditative work will give her a bit of an edge on her studying tonight.

“Marinette! Hi! I wasn’t expecting to see you here! What’re you working on?”

So long as no one interrupts her, that is. Alas, there is Kasey, along with Sam and Louise, approaching her. It’s fine, Marinette decides. She has time to work on the present, and seeing friends is good, too, as a break from studying. “A Christmas present.” She says. “For Jon.”

“That’s so sweet!” Kasey sits next to her excitedly, examining the project in Marinette’s hands. “But you’re making a scarf? I would have thought you’d do something bigger considering you already fitted him.”

Marinette just chuckles. “He’s expecting it.” She says. “This is the first gift opportunity since then, so he’s obviously going to expect me to make something I fit him for. This is enough to throw him off, and then I’ll give him something bigger later. Not for his birthday, I think. Maybe just randomly.”

“Oh! Clever!”

“Yes,” Sam says, “that’s very clever. Speaking of Jon, I was having some trouble thinking of a Christmas gift for him myself. Do you think you could help me out? I really like, Jon, so I want it to be perfect.”

Marinette bites her lip. “I can help you, bu-”

“Thank you so much!” Sam grabs her arm like Alya does sometimes, all happy and excited. “With your help, I’m sure Jon will fall for me in no time.”

“But.” Marinette says, louder, just enough to put a stop to Sam’s eagerness. “I’m sorry, but he’s not interested in you. If you’re just trying to impress him, you should save yourself the time.” It hurts Marinette to do it, but she has to tell Sam sometime. She’d rather do it now, bluntly, than lead her on and let her waste time and money finding a present in hopes of winning him over with it.

Remembering her two years without holiday gift exchanges with Jon, Marinette is quite sure that gifts aren’t all that important to getting him to love someone, anyway.

Sam is understandably taken aback by Marinette’s words, so Marinette tries to soften the blow. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, I only mean that I can’t help you… ah… what’s the word? Woo? Woo him?” Marinette looks to Kasey for help but finds only Kasey’s jaw on the floor.

Figures her vocabulary will fail her here and now when she needs to be careful with her words. Damn English. Louise hesitantly nods at her, as if to say, “Yes, that’s the right word.” Thank god for her.

“Why not?” Sam asks. “You know how much I like him.”

Marinette cringes. “Y-yeah, but… Jon and I are sort of-”

Sam stands abruptly, so sharply that it makes Marinette jumps. She clutches her knitting needles like weapons, and only forces herself to relax her grip when she feels Wayzz’s gentle press against her side and casts her mind to her promise of nonviolence.

Sam doesn’t seem to have any such restraint. “What good are you, then?!” She exclaims, loudly. Marinette feels a bit like a deer caught in headlights. What? “I’ve been parading around with you all semester and you’ve never even tried to help me out! Not once have I been invited to see Jagged Stone – you didn’t even think to introduce us when he came here a few weeks ago! No, you go with Jon. And now I find out that you won’t even help me out with him because you stole him?! How selfish can you get?!”

Selfish?

“God, I’ve wasted so much time with you! I should have figured out a long time ago that you only care about yourself!”

“Sam!” Kasey protests weakly. “Sam, I don’t think-”

“Shut up! We’re done with this girl. She’s not going to give us anything, so we’re done giving her the time of day.”

“Sam! But- oh, Marinette, I- I’m-”

Marinette takes a deep breath. Peace. Justice. She reminds herself. Two of the Girod, Jon’s virtues. Marinette reminds herself to live in accordance with them, and with her promise. She sets aside her knitting and stands to face Sam.

Burning anger boils within her. Righteous fury, for daring to call her selfish. For yelling at her because Sam isn’t getting all the perks she thinks she’s owed after playing at friendship. Marinette learned this lesson in collège. People want things out of other people. She expected someone to try after her fame with Jagged. She just… thought she was safe with Sam. Admittedly, she doubted Sam at the beginning, but they’ve been friends for months now. Marinette didn’t suspect she’d play-act friendship for so long.

Clearly, she’s wrong. And that pisses her off. But she will not fight. She refuses to be drawn into a battle again. Not physically, not verbally. She takes a breath, takes a step back, and examines the situation. Slowly, carefully, steady and constant. Anger ripples through her, but Marinette does not let it rule her. It’s there, and she acknowledges it, but she won’t let it lash out.

“I understand if you’re hurt.” Marinette says, honestly. Marinette does not doubt that at least some part of Sam legitimately likes Jon. There’s a lot to like about Jon, after all, and there’s no obvious gain for her career aside from eye candy by taking an interest in him, so Marinette believes the interest is genuine. “Jon and I… it took us off guard, too. I understand that you might be angry with me, since you’ve liked him for a while.”

White-hot rage seethes behind Sam’s cold eyes. Marinette dismisses it outright, as if it’s just a fly. Sam is no threat to her. Sam is unsteady, angry. Marinette is calm. “So, I’ll forgive what you say today. But if you really are only my friend for an introduction to Jagged, or anyone else that I know, then I’ll tell you right now that you’re not getting it. If that’s the only reason you’re here, go ahead and leave. If you really do want to be friends, though, I’d be happy to talk more when you’ve calmed down.”

“You self-righteous bitch!” Sam growls. “Now you’re talking down to me? To me? You’re lucky I even hung around you!”

Marinette sighs heavily. Yet you’re the one that wants something from me. So lucky. She’s no hero. It’s not her job to make the bad people good. If Sam is as rotten as she’s acting right now, then Marinette is within her rights to cut her out entirely. Even so, Marinette decides to leave that chance open to her. If Sam really does want to be friends, the door is open when she decides she wants it.

It’s disappointing, but Marinette is at a place close enough to peace to put it behind her. It’s upsetting that Sam isn’t who she thought she is, and Marinette certainly doesn’t appreciate being yelled at or taken advantage of, but in the end it doesn’t matter. Sam isn’t winning – she’s only hurting herself this way – so justice is satisfied. And stepping away is the most peaceful resolution to this that Marinette sees right now. So, she does.

“Let me know if you change your mind.” Marinette says calmly. She collects her knitting supplies and begins her walk home.

“Marinette! Wait!” Marinette stops for a moment for Kasey to run up to her. Louise is dragging Sam away. “I’m so sorry about her! I swear, Louise and I had no idea she’d do that! And- and I promise I really do love being your friend! I’m not just here for your connections, and I…” Kasey bites her lip and trembles a little, like it’s painful to say, and her next words are nearly venomous – certainly the most biting Marinette has ever heard Kasey be. “What Sam said is seriously messed up! I just- I want you to know that Louise and I have no part in that. I promise!”

Marinette smiles at her and puts a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay! That was… that was…”

“It’s okay, Kasey. It wasn’t your fault.” Marinette shrugs. “I’ve heard worse. Sam’s upset. That’s understandable. I don’t know if she was just trying to hurt me, or if she was being honest, but it’s not worth fighting over.”

“I- I just- I’m so sorry for her.”

Marinette sighs and pulls Kasey into a hug. “It’s okay. You’re not her. You don’t need to apologize for what she does. And we’re still friends, right?”

Kasey beams brilliantly. “Definitely! For sure! If… if that’s the kind of girl Sam is, then I’d rather be friends with you any day. Louise feels the same, I know, she’s just trying to… control Sam right now.”

Marinette smiles. “Cheer up. Give Sam time to calm down. And no matter what happens with her, that doesn’t affect us.”

Marinette is thrown back by Kasey hugging her. “Thank you thank you thank you! You’re the best, Marinette! I’m so glad you’re my friend!”

Marinette pats her back gently. “Me too. And we should both get back to studying, anyway, don’t you think?”

——-=——-

Tag List: @moonystars14 @pawsitivelymiraculous @magic-miraculous @vixen-uchiha @buticaaba @bigpicklebananatree @lozzybowe @moonlightstar64 @amayakans @theatreandcomicfreak @toodaloo-kangaroo @too0bsessedformyowngood @justcourttee​ <3

#miraculous ladybug fanfiction #ml fanfiction #ml x dc #maribat #marijon #ehhtrtd

[demonictransformation]

Hi :) I was the one who had requested an Uzui, Kyoujurou and Sanemi hcs on how would they court a shy female pillar. And it is alright! \(*´ω`*)/ Please do not fret, it's something that cannot be avoided sometimes. It tends to happen. \(〃´ ∀ `〃)/ Thank you for letting me know!

Hi hi! Lets me start by saying I’m sorry this these took so long, and they’re not exactly the best. Sanemi’s and Tengen’s were quite hard to come up with actually! And as a certified Kyojuro fucker tm, maybe I got a bit carried away with his ;-; I hope you enjoy them nonetheless! Thank you for being so patient with me and resending your request when I messed it up the first time uwu

Sanemi

It probably takes a while for Sanemi to realize he has a crush on her, let alone start courting her.

I think he’d take his time just watching her from a far before approaching her. He’s pretty rough around the edges and he’s completely aware of it, so he doesn’t wanna scare her off.

He doesn’t avoid her during the period he spends collecting information though, he’s actually quite cordial around her so everyone knows whats’s up lol

He’s big on trying to bond with her over pillar stuff. Training sessions, walking to Oyakata-sama’s estate together, chilling at the Swordsmiths’ village as their swords are being fixed, you name it.

Tries to keep his voice low and outbursts on check when she’s near, sometimes having to leave the room to cool off.

The courting begins when they are sent on missions together, its much easier for Sanemi to deal with his feelings without an audience. He’s much kinder and softer when they’re alone.

Unlike Kyojuro and Uzui, he’s not too keen on hanging out with the rest of the pillars, but he isn’t necessarily into completely quiet nights in either. A walk around the woods is much more up his alley. Since she most likely doesn’t hang around the others either, the wind hashira would try to subtly ask her to join him on his walks sometimes.

Literally has to pick his jaw up from the floor when she agrees, nodding as she looks away, cheeks bright red.

His walks are not limited to the woods though, sometimes he likes walking through the city too. He knows which houses have dogs and lowkey bases his walks on that, he took her on one of these walks once and she almost melted while seeing him interact with every dog he saw- which were a lot, by the way.

Gets super scared when he has a rage fit in front of her, fearing she’s not going to want to be around him anymore and all of his past efforts will go to waste. That’s not the case, however, since she obviously knew about Sanemi’s personality before they started hanging out. She makes an effort to assure him its alright though!

Sanemi will become so overprotective of her, specially around demons. Even though she’s a pillar herself, he’s lost far too many people in his life to have her follow the same fate. It embarrasses of course, but she’s also very grateful.

Uzui

Oh, boy. This flamboyant man may not the best for a shy person, imo.

Like he’s so extravagant and out there, its probably hard for her at first to even be in the same room with him for too long. Not because she doesn’t like him or anything, but his antics can definitely get a bit overwhelming for such a quiet and reserved person.

Having said that, opposites do attract sometimes, and a calmer person might just be what Tengen needs to balance his flamboyant personality out, and vice versa.

Probably asks Mitsuri how to approach her without giving her a heart attack or something.

Starts by trying to find things they have in common, and attempts to strike a conversation based on that. She’s initially very intimidated by his loud persona, so seeing he can actually act normally is a huge relief. At first she doesn’t talk too much, limiting herself to nodding and maybe a word of agreement or two. Uzui doesn’t mind all that much, he loves talking and is more than happy to finally be having a conversation with her

She slowly becomes more and more talkative as time goes on, and he gets just so excited.

He encourages her so much. Whether its in the middle of a battle, or when she tries to come out of her shell even just ever so slightly, Tengen is super supportive and her biggest fan much to her embarrassment.

Likes bringing her gifts that remind him of her when he goes away on missions. He honestly just loves spoiling her really, even though she’s so embarrassed by it. At first she’d refuse to accept them, but as the relationship moves forwards and she slowly warms up to him, she starts accepting them. His favorite types of presents for her are kimonos, jewelry and hair accessories, and gets happy beyond belief when he sees her wearing them.

Unlike Sanemi, Tengen tries to forget all about their pillar duties when they’re together, and focuses on the more mundane aspects of life. As much as he loves his job and his position, it often brings a heavy burden, both pysucally and mentally, and wants a relationship that will help him get his mind off all that, even just for a little.

Kyojurou

Both of them being pillars means they often spend a fair share of time together, much to Kyo’s delight.

Hes genuinely such a warm, kind person I don’t think it’d take too long for anyone to open up to him, even the shyest person on earth. Its honestly kind of hard for people to realize he has a crush on someone cause he’s just so nice to everyone.

Definitely invites her to join him for food and maybe even some rounds of sake with a couple of the pillars –most likely Mitsuri and Tengen- to try and get her out of her shell. If she’s still not ready to go out with everyone, he’ll gladly offer to stay with her for a quiet night in.

Isn’t opposed to going out for dinner just with her though! He actually enjys it very much, and loves finding new restaurants to take her after a long mission.

He’s a very touchy feely kinda guy so he really has to try his hardest to remember personal space is a thing when she’s around. He definitely doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable!

Loves bringing her flowers but she gets extremely embarrassed when she receives them, so Kyo opts to leave them on places he knows she’ll find them. It becomes a bit of a game for them after a while.

Will always call her by her first name, and will encourage her to do the same to him. He feels like crying when she finally does it!

He gives lots and lots of compliments! Maybe a bit too many? He often has to remind himself to slow down calling her cute things cause she gets just so flustered, specially if they’re said in front of other people.  

He’s like the happiest man alive when she starts slowly becoming more and more confident, though he secretly loves how she only becomes her true self when they’re both alone.

Similarly to Sanemi, he enjoys taking her on walks, specially under the stars. Its one of the only moments in which he is calm, quietly taking in everything he sees and hears. if the night’s particularly chilly, he will definitely drop his haori on her shoulders. He would love to just put his arm around her and bring her close to his body, but he knows she’d probably die of embarrassment. Looking at her with his haori is enough to put a big, goofy smile on his face though.  

Talks about her to anyone who would listen, this big dork ;;;;;

#kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba imagines #kny imagines #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kny headcanons #sanemi #rengoku #uzui