#it's meant to be mostly like. everyone's standings with each other towards the end of the season | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

klausysworld · 2 months

Note

Hey,I like your klaus mikaelson stories very much. Can you do one in which klaus and reader(yn) were in an arrange marriage and they cant stand each other?And they slowly fall in love and at the end he gets her pregnant? As in arranged marriage I mean,something like the marriage between hayley and Jackson. And if you can please add smut,fluff,jealousy and daddy kink. Thank you

An Alliance or a Marriage?

Y/n could not believe that she was doing this.

Y/n was Jacksons sister, they always had each others backs and protected the other. So when Hayley came into Jacksons life, had him falling in love while she had feelings for Elijah Mikaelson, Y/n knew they couldn't get married. The only reason they were actually getting married was to unite the werewolf clans and to share Hayley's hybrid abilities as part of the marriage ritual.

But it would come at the cost of Jackson's happiness and most likely his life. Y/n was not stupid. She knew the price of loving a Mikaelson and it was one that Jackson could not afford and one that Y/n would not let him pay.

So without thinking, she made a fast decision.

"What if Ione of the wolves married Klaus? That way Hayley gets to be with Elijah and Klaus doesn't have to be so wary of Jackson around Hope or whatever his worry is? Wouldn't it just be easier?" She questioned and she felt everyone's gaze turn to her, most genuinely considering the possibility while Klaus looked both pissed and amused.

"I wouldn't trust anyone with Hope and under no circumstances will I be marrying anyone." He answered before storming out without another word. Jackson was second to protest then some of the other wolves.

They all went back to the bayou and tried to forget about the day.

What the wolves were unaware of were the arguments in the Mikaelson compound. Mostly between Rebekah and Niklaus. Rebekah was telling Klaus that for once, he should think of Elijah's happiness instead of only being selfish yet again. She continued to go on about how it was for Hope, how he should be the one sacrificing for Hope, not Hayley as she had already given up so much. The fight went on for hours but by morning it was settled. Niklaus would marry a wolf of his choosing.

Y/n was his choice. She was quiet but smart. Small but strong. Which meant she would be the best of his options. He knew part of her feared him, unlike some of the wolves there. She may challenge him a little but she wasn't stupid enough to truly go against him. This was proven when she silently accepted his decision.

Jackson was entirely against the entire thing. His sister was getting married to the original hybrid, moving into the beasts den and becoming apart of his twisted family. But he too kept quiet after Y/n told him it was what needed to be done. It was the only chance for everyone to walk out somewhat alive.

That was why she was walking down the aisle, Jackson unwillingly giving her away to Klaus Mikaelson before Mary began the ceremony. As the words "you may kiss your bride" left her lips, their fates were sealed. Klaus stepped forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his brides soft lips and watched as her and every other wolf in the rooms eyes lit up with golden flames, united as one.

The compound remained busy for the rest of the day, Klaus and Y/n stayed in opposite sides of the room at all times. Elijah urged his brother to at least be kind, Klaus however ignored any and all advice and instead drank the night away. Marriage was not in the cards for him. It was not what he wanted and he now knew that he was tied to this girl, a girl he harboured no feelings toward and a girl who only looked at him with distaste, for at least one lifetime. He knew the likelihood of them every liking each other was slim and he also knew that there were lots of rules in this werewolf marriage that he would have to follow in order to have the wolves protecting Hope. So he got off his face drunk, to the point where he couldn't get himself up the stairs at the end of the night.

It wasn't the best way for Y/n to find him on their first night 'together'. When she gave him that look of uncertainty and upset when she found him at the bottom of the stairs slurring his words, he just rolled his eyes and told her to piss off. But she didn't. Instead she fought against his sloppy attempts of pushing her away and instead managed to get him up the stairs and to bed. He fell asleep in seconds leaving Y/n distressed and alone on her wedding night. Instead of sleeping she went back downstairs and cleaned up the mess left over from the wedding.

Klaus had come down in the morning to find her scrubbing the corner of the room. He glanced around and noticed everywhere was spotless, his eyes travelled to the stairs and he was hit with the memory of leaning against her as she struggled to carry him up each one. Guilt bubbled in the pit of his stomach but he ignored it and made his way into the room and past her.

Y/n just stared at the nonexistent spot on the ground and tiredly rubbed the sponge against it.

Rebekah came downstairs after a little while and frowned when she saw Y/n, exhausted and leaning against the wall while her arm moved almost robotically to scratch away at the floor.

“Y/n? Darling we have maids for this” she whispered softly, supporting her new sister-in-law and guiding her to stand up and walk toward the stairs.

“I was just helping” Y/n mumbled, “wine was spilt” she stated as she glanced over to the area she thought was stained with alcohol but when Rebekah glanced it was completely clean. She lead Y/n toward Klaus’s room but paused when she noticed the mess it was in and began to realise why Y/n hadn’t been to sleep. With a soft sigh she brought the she-wolf to her bedroom and helped Y/n out of her wedding dress.

“I suppose this isn’t the way you had hoped to get out of your dress” she joked gently but Y/n didn’t look amused.

“I’d rather you than your brother” she murmured and Rebekah gave a small laugh.

“One day you won’t think that” she whispered as she grabbed some of her pyjamas and passed them to Y/n. “He’ll become kinder after some time, it’ll be a difficult ride but you’ll get there. Besides he must already like you to have chosen you out of all the wolves” she convinced but Y/n just scoffed as she crawled into Rebekah’s bed and let her head hit the pillow

“Lucky me.” She quipped and Bekah hummed.

“I’ll get him to let you rest for today” she told her as she exited the room and let the girl sleep in her room for the day.

Klaus claimed not to care what Y/n did with her time, where she went or who she was with but Rebekah reminded him that she was his wife. Whether he was happy about or not.

“You either need to set her up a nice room for her to have for herself or you need to actually be her husband and have her feel comfortable enough to share one with you. My god Niklaus, it’s not like there’s anything wrong with her. It won’t give you a disease if you smile at the poor girl.” She scowled and Klaus glared but kept his trap shut.

Klaus knew Y/n was beautiful. She was delicate little thing, from what he had seen she could be very sensitive for a werewolf at times. But he knew she had a certain fire in her. He wondered what he would have to do to light that flame and have her snap at him. He wondered if her fear would override that anger.

It was much later in the day when he went to check on his new wife. Part of him worried she had ran away but he knew that she would stay, for the survival of her pack.

He found her curled up in his sisters pyjamas and bed. Reluctantly he picked her up and brought her to his room, tucking her into his bed and leaving her to rest there instead. After all, his bed was where she belonged now.

When evening came around, he made his way back to his room. As soon as he started getting ready for bed, Y/n forced herself up despite her still clearly needing sleep. He sighed as she left the room, ignoring his presence and going downstairs for the rest of the night.

Some days she would stay downstairs and behave almost zombie like as she tried to keep her mind running and eyes open, other times she just went to sleep while she knew Klaus was busy.

It annoyed him to no end but at the same time he was relieved that he never had to really see or speak to her. Still, whether either of them liked it, she was his wife and the fact that she wouldn’t stand in the same room as him was not something he appreciated.

So he did what he assumed to be best.

Forced her to spend time with him.

Often it would be in a painful silence as he stared her down and made sure she wouldn’t get up and leave. However after some time, she would have little conversations with him so that he would be sated and leave her alone for a little while later.

When in front of the other wolves, Klaus would become a different person. He would make sure to kiss Y/n’s cheek or head, hold her waist or hand. One because he had to make it seem as though they were some what happy so that the wolves would not turn on him and two because he liked to piss Jackson off. He took amusement in how the wolf would growl and scrunch his face up in distaste.

Y/n knew what Klaus was doing but didn’t see the point in arguing or getting all stressed about it, besides it only happened every now and then so it didn’t matter much.

However when Klaus began accidentally doing the little gestures when others weren’t around, as though it were his second nature, Y/n felt confused. She didn’t understand his motifs or what he wanted from her.

Rebekah told Y/n that he didn’t want anything, that he was just warming to her but Y/n was still skeptical. Even when Rebekah came into her room grinning and held out a piece of paper with a beautifully sketched version of Y/n’s face.

“He must’ve been bored out of his mind” Y/n mumbled dismissively as she handed the drawing back to Rebekah who rolled her eyes.

“He likes you” she argued and Y/n scoffed.

“He does not. He just wants me to do whatever he says”she countered and the mikaelson sister sighed

“He isn’t all bad, you know?” Bekah questioned

“Sure he isn’t. He’s quite lovely towards his daughter” she agreed and Rebekah hummed as she watched Y/n pretend to have no clue about Niklaus’s thoughts or feelings.

Klaus wouldn’t admit that he had become accustomed to Y/n’s presence and began to want it more often. He wasn’t too sure why but he had taken a fancying to her, he just had.

And he most certainly didn’t like when other people took a fancying to her as well. Not at all.

Now he knew that she would never peruse anything with anyone else, that would break the magical marriage binding the wolves together but it didn’t mean he didn’t get angry. Especially when another wolf could make her smile or blush better than he could. His teeth would bring, jaw would clench and his eyes would flicker gold.

It fuelled something ugly and twisted inside him.

Jealousy.

“Jealousy is a weak man’s disease” Niklaus had told Elijah many times over the centuries. “A man who knows his worth and his strength never had to fear that his girl would stray. Jealously means they are nothing. I am not nothing, I never will be.”

And yet, as soon as Y/n’s attention was given to an attractive werewolf, Klaus would feel as though he was nothing. He would feel that weakness that he loathed so deeply.

The only way to diminish that jealousy was to eliminate the threat. To pick away at the weakness piece by piece until only strength was left.

But that didn’t go well.

When Klaus killed a werewolf, Y/n went ballistic. It was the first time she had actually yelled at him, expressed her anger and threatened his position.

“It’s like you’re actually a fool! You hurt my pack and they will not protect you nor your child, this marriage will be pointless and finished-“ she ranted and his anger bubbled.

“This marriage will not end just because our pack says so” he growled and she glared at him, her pointer finger jabbed at his chest aggressively and it took everything within him not to snap it in half.

“It is hardly a marriage and it had only happened for the benefit of my pack and for your daughter. It is you that has a hundred enemies banging down the door at night and it will be you that suffers if you do not have the protection that I offer you.” She snapped and he sneered in her face. He wanted to kill her in that moment however at the same time, for whatever reason, he had never been more attracted to her. His wolf wanted to force her into submission. To spank and pound her until she admitted that she was his and wouldn’t ever threaten to leave him again. But he was also beyond furious at the possibility of his daughter’s life being on the line and so stormed past her before he would harm her.

He ignored her mutterings of how pathetic he was and locked himself in his arm room which was utterly destroyed by the end of the hour due to his never ending rage.

The next morning he had expected a pack of wolves to be stood at his door, angry and threatening. However he found them all sat at their long table, Y/n was at the head informing them that they had ‘found’ the pack member already dead and had brought him here so that they may take care of his body accordingly.

She lied for Klaus.

She let her family believe that it was someone else who had killed the wolf. When they accused Klaus, she snapped back at them that he was with her all day and had helped her take care of the body.

Y/n gave Klaus a look that dared him to contradict her words but he didn’t utter a word. He just stood at her side and placed a hand on her shoulder as he listened to the others discuss the traditional funeral that the wolf deserved.

Once they left, Y/n walked straight past Klaus and to her bedroom. She was unwilling to speak with her for the next few days. The only time she would was regarding Hope.

The small toddler had taken a strong liking to Y/n and often asked for her. Nobody could not love Hope once they spent some time with her so Y/n was always happy to have the baby in her arms.

Klaus too, very much enjoyed the sight of his wife holding his child. His mind began to spin together images of Y/n pregnant with his child. His wolf craved the thought. He could imagine how beautifully round her stomach would be and how he would press his hands to the bump while nuzzling into her hair.

And then he would think of how he would get her pregnant. She would be so gorgeous sprawled out in his bed.

Since their wedding day she had been in her own room but now Klaus desperately wanted her in his.

He wanted to be inside her. To claim her. To love her.

Never did he think he would love her.

Then again, never did he think he would be getting married or having a baby.

But all of those things had happened and he wouldn’t take them back. Perhaps he might’ve gone about them a little differently but he would have still wanted them to happen.

He told her that once.

One night when they were having dinner.

Somehow he had managed to convince her to share a meal with him and him alone. She couldn’t be bothered to fight over it so complied.

Y/n hadn’t expected him to actually make such an effort. Or to have been so lovely the entire evening. It was clear he wanted to impress her and to engage her, and he had but she didn’t understand why.

Until he told her of how he wouldn’t have changed things,not fully. He had admitted to her that he was somewhat happy with the fact that they were married. He didn’t say he loved her, he knew that would through her off but he made it obvious that he liked her much more than he had initially expressed.

She wasn’t so sure how to respond to him.

Y/n had thought that he was only nicer to her lately because he too was avoiding arguments but she hadn’t truly believed it was because he was being genuine.

Klaus noticed the frown on her face and looked down at his plate. “It’s a little silly I suppose” he muttered to himself, he couldn’t help the deflated feeling that travelled through him as he placed his fork down. “Neither of us wanted this marriage” he mumbled while standing up from his seat making his chair scrape against the floor with a painful sound.

Y/n felt the guilt sink in and she quickly got up also and rounded the table as he started to walk away. “Klaus,” she called softly, reaching out for his hand.

His eyes fluttered when she held onto his hand, he hadn’t felt the softness of her touch since their first and only kiss of their relationship from their wedding day.

He glanced to her and reluctantly shrugged her off. “No it doesn’t matter, I was being a fool” he argued and kept walking.

Y/n sighed to herself and rubbed her hands down her face in frustration.

The next morning Klaus ignored her, barely looked at her even.

It was later that day that she finally caught his attention and pulled him off into another room.

“Klaus” she murmured in annoyance when he went to open the door she had just pushed shut. “You’re behaving like a child” she tutted and he growled. “Would you just stop?” She told him and he glared at her.

“What do you want?” He asked, not bothering to soften his tone which made her frown again.

“I want you to talk to me” she whispered and he narrowed his eyes.

“You never want to talk to me.” he snapped, “you only want to because I made a stupid mistake”

“It wasn’t a mistake” she told him, her tone much gentler than his. “I just wasn’t expecting it”

“Why? Because it’s so shocking that I could possibly feel something-“

“God, Klaus no. You know I dont think you’re a heartless monster-“

“That strongly contradicts things you’ve said in the past-“ he argued and she made a sound of frustration.

“Well I’ve changed my mind” she told him and his jaw tightened. “Klaus I’m serious. I know you now, I’ve seen you”

“Then what is it about me that you cannot love?” He whispered and her eyes softened further. They stared at each other until Y/n stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. Her arms went around his midsection and his went over her shoulders.

“It isn’t that I can’t” she mumbled and he closed his eyes

“You just don’t want to” he whispered but she still shook her head.

“I just don’t know how to” she corrected and he hummed quietly.

“But I love you” he uttered and she nodded.

“I know that now” she agreed “and I’ll make sure that I take that into consideration but Klaus, you can’t just expect that I’ll suddenly be all over you and madly in love” she told him and he frowned.

“Why not?” He asked and she scoffed softly. For centuries woman had been falling at his feet but the one woman that he married wouldn’t?

“Because the world doesn’t revolve around you?” She whispered, a little laugh in her voice that made him a little annoyed at first but when he saw her face he couldn’t help but laugh a little bit with her. Eventually he sighed and looked down with a small smile and a nod.

“I’ll earn your affections” he promised, kissing her forehead before exiting the room.

And from that day, he tried his very best to do just that.

Though of course they still had their arguments and disagreements, now he would be the first to apologise or to admit his wrong doings.

And slowly, like he had hoped, Y/n began to love him too.

Rebekah, Elijah, Hayley, Jackson and all the other wolves began to notice the much softer side to them both when they touched to spoke to each together. Some were happier than others about the change in dynamics between the two.

Jackson for one, was very put off when Klaus kissed his sister in front of everyone. What was worse was that she kissed him back and asked him to grab her a drink. They behaved like a real married couple. The wolves didn’t like it.

Some of them went as far to verbalise their opinions but Klaus’s siblings were quick to shut them up before they could upset Y/n. They reminded them that it was in the best interests of everyone that the two got along rather than Y/n living a miserable life just for the benefit of the pack. Eventually the majority agreed and kept quiet.

Jackson was most concerned.

Especially when he came round to visit and found Y/n sprawled across Klaus’s lap while reading a book..

“Y/n” he called, his gaze hard as he watched her lift her head and smile before getting up and going out for lunch with her brother. He expressed his worries and she assured him that Klaus was much better now and that she felt that she could love him. Jackson knew that her using the word ‘could’ was solely for his benefit. She wanted to say that she did love him.

With a small sigh he nodded and told her to just be happy and thanked her once more for everything she had done for him and their family.

When Y/n came home Klaus had made her a bubble bath for her to relax in. She laid in the water for a while before getting changed into comfy clothes and wondering downstairs. Klaus was in the kitchen grating Parmesan cheese over two dishes of pasta.

She smiled and sat at the table quietly, smiling at him when he placed the bowl infront of her before sitting down opposite with his own dish.

Klaus twisted his fork in the spaghetti and asked how her day with Jackson was. They chatted while they ate before loading the dishwasher and heading upstairs.

Y/n had been sleeping in his room lately. Mostly because they would accidentally fall asleep beside each-other when watching a film before bed but then Klaus asked if she would feel comfortable sharing a room with him and she agreed.

So this time they naturally just went to Klaus’s room or rather their room.

His eyes watched as she disappeared into the bathroom, a soft hum left her and her hips swayed gently. The tap started running which meant she was brushing her teeth and he followed her in and grabbed his own toothbrush to do the same. He glanced at her in the mirror as she focused on her mouth. He cleared his throat and finished cleaning up before kissing her head and going into their room to get changed into his sleep pants which he had only been wearing because he wasn’t sure if she would be comfortable with him in only briefs.

Klaus was unaware of how Y/n would imagine his naked body against hers, pressing and sliding against hers while they panted beneath the sheets of their bed.

It was why she started wearing tinier pyjamas to bed, in hopes it would entice him that extra bit.

The little shorts would allow him a glimpse of her ass, as though it was teasing him. And the little matching vest top would wrap around her upper body perfectly.

Klaus sat down on the bed and watched as she walked back in. His eyes glanced to wear her taut nipples would press against the Cotten of her clothes down to her long bare legs that he desperately wanted to bury between.

She let out a yawn as she slid into bed beside him and beneath the covers. He pulled her closer so that their bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces and sighed quietly as though having her touch soothed something inside of him.

“Thanks for tonight” she whispered as she leaned up and kissed his lips before laying her head down on her pillow. Klaus hummed and laid down with her.

“Thank you for having dinner with me again” he smiled and she returned it, her hand moved to caress his gently and he held onto hers tenderly.

“You don’t have to thank me for that, I love having dinner with you” she told him and his eyes flickered between hers as he took in her words because they both knew what she was actually saying.

“You do?” He whispered and she nodded.

“I do.”

Klaus kissed her again, for a few seconds longer this time. Just as he pulled his lips away from hers, she pushed them back together with a little more force. He groaned softly, his hand sliding down her back and over the curve of her ass to grip the back of her thigh and lift her leg up so her knee slide over his hip. His hand slid up under her shorts to feel the soft warmth of her pussy against his fingers.

Y/n moaned quietly against his mouth. Both her hands caressed his neck gently before one moved lower. Klaus grunted softly and pulled away from their kiss as he felt her hand cup his erection through his pants.

Their eyes locked as both their hands moved slowly, teasingly.

A small whimper left Y/n as Klaus’s fingers rubbed over her clit. She brought her hand under the waistband of his pants and wrapped her fingers around his cock. Her teeth bit into her bottom lip as she felt the length and thickness of him. Klaus’s mouth fell open slightly as he breathed shallowly.

Her hand pumped his cock slowly as he slipped a finger inside her. His thumb glided over her sensitive little bud, his eyes urging her to please move her hand faster. She complied and stroked him quicker, squeezing as she went.

His hips thrust against her hand while two fingers curled inside her to find her spot.

The whole room became hot and dark as the night deepened and the blankets were pulled over their heads to make them feel closer. Their breathing mixed together and little moans left them both as their hands moved faster.

Their mouths moved together sloppily as moans vibrated from both of them and their body moved in time to meet the other’s hand.

Y/n went first, her neck arched making Klaus move his lips down to suck along her throat while his hips thrust and his fingers fucked her fast. He panted as her cry of pleasure left her and he felt her pussy clamp down and release. It only took a few more squeezes of her hand around his cock for him to cum across her stomach.

They both lay, breathing heavily and looking at eachother. Y/n’s eyes squinted to see him in the dark, his hands were moving her onto her back so he could slot on top of her. Her thighs were nudged open and a gasp left her as the head of his cock started to push into her.

Klaus leaned down and kissed her again, deepening it in seconds so he could taste her while his cock finally felt the soft, wet warmth that he had longed for.

A strained cry of relief left her and her back arched off the bed as he filled her completely. His hands slid up her body and scrunched her shirt up above her breasts so that he could lean down and wrap his lips round one of her nipples.

“Klaus” she whimpered as his hips thrust slowly and his tongue flicked teasingly. He moaned softly around the bud before sucking it between his teeth. He released it with a pop before kissing up along her chest and throat until he took her lips to his. She kissed him back hungrily, accepting his tongue into her mouth without any resistance as his hips rolled faster into her.

He only pulled away from her lips when her pussy went unbearably tight on his cock, he let out a loud groan as he fucked into her as quickly as he could.

The harsh slap of his skin meeting hers repeated through the room alongside her moans for more. Klaus could feel himself getting closer to cumming and he was determined to fill her up. He wanted her to carry his next child.

His tongue traced the shell of her ear as she cried out and his fingers reached between her legs to rub at her clit until she was crying to cum.

“Shh sweetheart” he purred to her, “let me fill you” he whispered and the realisation of what he meant dawned on her.

“Klaus” she whimpered as she felt his cock release inside her. His hips slowed but didn’t stop as his cock softened momentarily before hardening again inside of her still.

He grunted softly as he glanced down at her, his fingers gently rolled over her clit while watching his cock slide in and out of her. He could see his cum spilling out of her and he desperately tried to fuck it back inside.

“I want you to be full of my child” he muttered to her and she moaned softly, her hand lifted to cup his cheek to draw his attention to her eyes.

"I love you" she whispered and he groaned quietly as he kissed her lips just briefly so she could speak again, "and I'll love our children" she told him making his hips buck roughly into her. She moaned in response and wrapped her arms around his neck while resting her head against his. "You''ll be such a good daddy to them" she murmured and a low growl rumbled through his chest as he took the praise and thrived off of it.

Y/n felt his pace quicken and her pleasure heighten making her kiss across his cheek to his ear slowly, "Please daddy?" she purred while her cunt clenched repeatedly and her lower stomach twisted into a series of knots. "Please give me your babies" she begged and he couldn't stop from snapping. His mind and body went haywire making her scream his name. Her body was practically vibrating as her body met his for the hundredth time and her head went back allowing his mouth to reattach onto her neck.

Her eyes rolled back when his teeth sunk into her throat.

Bliss rolled through both of them until their bodies were a heated, sweaty mess amongst the sheets.

His hand held the back of her head holding her face into his chest as they panted heavily. Her eyes closed as she felt him stroke her hair soothingly while he slid his cock out of her and caressed her swollen clit ever so gently with his thumb.

Y/n whimpered weakly and he smiled as he glanced down to watch her brows furrow together while her hips slowly rode the pad of his finger until one last cry left her alongside another orgasm.

Once he had ensured she was finished, he cleaned them both up and then their bed before dropping her down onto the fresh bedding and taking warmth in her giggle when she reached out and pulled him to lay beside her.

Klaus kept her snuggled up to him all night and into the next morning before reluctantly getting up and going downstairs to join the rest of the family.

He knew that everything was finally working out.

867 notes · View notes

fics-a-plenty · 8 months

Text

Goodbyes Aren't Always For Long

spawn!Astarion x gn!reader x Halsin

WC: 1,264

TW: SPOILERS FOR ENDING, angst, talk of abandonment, mention to Astarion's past, "Daddy Halsin", not proofread

So I finished my first playthrough of the game yesterday, and I sobbed. Can you guess what I was the most upset about?

I have been wanting to include some of the other companions as background characters, but I'm not sure who to include. Who would you guys like to see in the future?

As always, enjoy!

"This is selfish, Halsin! And that's coming from me!" Astarion hissed, pacing back and forth through the rented room, seeming to be the only one no frozen in place. There was quiet in response to his statement, as the taller elf stood in front of the door, his eyes downcast.

"It isn't though, Astarion." You popped up from your place at the end of the bed, your body too heavy from the news you were processing through.

"It is!" The pale elf yells in your direction, though you can recognize the pain heavier in his voice than the anger. "You wormed your way into our hearts, into our minds, and now that we have the chance to all be together, just us, you turn tail and run!" His words once again turned to Halsin, who just responded with a deep sigh. "We've spent so long worrying about other people, about the world. Now we have the chance to focus on ourselves. Focus on us."

"I've had too many moment of selfishness on this quest so far. I fled from the Grove, twice, when they needed me most. I left poor Thaniel and Oliver when they were at their most vulnerable. I can't turn my back to the thousands of people that need help now." Halsin said, the slight shake in his voice would probably go unnoticed by anyone who didn't know him deeper. "I would give anything to stay with here with you two, to help find some way for you to feel the sun on your skin again, but I can't ignore where I'm truly needed."

"Here! You're truly needed here!" Astarion shouted again, finally taking steps towards the other man. The quiet sound of his name coming from your lips causing him to turn on his heels. "And you! How are you so okay with this?! You brought us together. You lead the three of us headlong into this love, and now you just sit there as it falls to pieces!"

"You think I'm okay with this?!" You finally shout back, standing from the bed. "You think i want to see either of you leave? You think I want us all to be separated after everything I've done for us, for the world?" Your words causing the two pairs of elf eyes to cast down, one in guilt and the other to hide the tears glossing his eyes. "What do you recommend I do in this moment, Astarion? Chain him to the bed and keep him here as some hostage? Keep him where he is obviously unhappy? I figured that if anyone was against that, it would be you!"

The meaning of your last sentence caused him to tense, crossing his arms over his chest as if to protect himself from the memories.

"Everything I did, all the battles we fought, and the people we killed, I did it for everyone to be free to make their own choices. So if either of you want to leave, then leave! I can say over and over how much I want you both here, for you both to be at my side, but if your heart is pulling you somewhere else, then who am I to stop you?" Your eyes shifted to meet Halsin's with a sad smile, mostly inviting him to make his escape if he truly meant to leave.

Astarion stood unusually quiet, his body tensing more and more with each step that sounded behind him as the druid walked to the door. His eyes closing tight as Halsin mentioned his damned Oak Father watching over you both and returning you to him some day before the door clicked closed.

You both stood frozen for a few moments, not really sure what to do with yourselves. The sound of multiple children's calling Halsin's name and running to greet him as he walked outside to meet the wagons that he would be traveling with floating through the window. It drew you over, pushing the curtain aside as you looked down at the people your partner had set off to help. While the sun hadn't quiet crested the horizon, you were still careful not to open the cover too much, not wanting to expose Astarion to any stray rays of the light.

The pair of hands at your sides caused you to lean back into the body behind you as a head rested against your shoulder. "And what shall we do now that 'Daddy Halsin' is off on a new adventure without us?" The two of you couldn't help but giggle at the nickname your partner has been bestowed with.

Your eyes slowly shifted from the large druid as you scanned over the line of wagons full of people. While you were happy that he was off to help people and follow his dream, your heart ached at the feeling like a part of your was missing. That was until it began to race, your spine straightening as an idea struck you.

"That depends, want to make a selfish decision with me?" You asked, quickly turning your head to look at Astarion's confused face.

"Do you know me to turn down selfish decision, Love?" His playful smirk didn't really reach his eyes, which still showed with curiosity to your meaning.

Halsin shushed the children down as he tried his best to herd them back into the wagon that would carry them on their journey, most of their eyes growing heavy from how early the caravan had decided to leave, wanting to be on the road before the sun got up and warmed the path too much. As the wagons began to move forward, his eyes moved to the windows of the room you three had spent the night before, hoping to catch a last glimpse of you and Astarion, not knowing when he would see you two again. To his dismay, the curtains were shut and still.

After hearing a heavy sigh, he began to move on with the wagons. Though he didn't get more than a few steps before a commotion behind him caused him to turn. His lips split into a smile as he watched you running to keep up with Astarion, who was rushing to the shelter of the covered wagon carrying barrels and boxes of food. A deep laugh rumbled in his chest as you bee lined for him, jumping at him and forcing his arms to rush to catch you.

"You didn't really think you would get to run off on a new adventure without us, did you?" Your voice rang out with laughter once he set you down.

"I wouldn't dream of it." The two of you smiled at a moment before he lifted you into the wagon with Astarion, moving to follow behind it.

"Except for the fact that you did dream of it, and you did actually get away for a few minutes." Astarion sassed, earning his a slap to the chest, "What?! He really thought we were gonna let him leave alone for a few minutes there!"

"And they were pure torture without you both." Halsin responded, placing his hand over his heart, "The Oak Father has smiled upon me and made our separation brief."

"Good save, 'Daddy Halsin'." Astarion smirked, sending the larger elf a wink before the three of you fall into laughter. The caravan continued on it's path towards a new life for many of the people in it, and while it probably wouldn't be easy, it definitely paled in comparison to anything the three of you has already been through together.

#astarion x reader x halsin #astarion x reader #halsin x reader #bg3 x reader #baldur's gate 3 x reader #reader insert

566 notes · View notes

idontknowreallywhy · 7 months

Text

Stars Are Only Visible In Darkness

A scene thrown down in my lunch break. I’m still not particularly confident writing Serious things but this was inspired by two things -

A song on the Scott playlist shared by @lenfantdeverone this morning - Battle Cry by Imagine Dragons which has some lovely angsty chord sequences, gorgeous vocal melody and the cracker of a line that is the title of this little ramble.

The most excellent @sofasurf who is constantly encouraging and has clearly slightly broken my brain with her angsty-ptsd-Scott writing. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? Here is a weirdly dark birthday present for you… 😘

It’s established fanon that Scott ended up as a POW in Bereznik while in the Air Force, but how did that happen? One possible version of events…

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Fear and fury danced a tango through his veins as he watched the khaki-clad thugs surround the small group of children and a woman he guessed was perhaps their teacher? An impromptu lesson in how to calmly stand up to playground bullies was underway but this particular gang was armed and accountable to nobody. One of them laughed with a coldness that sent ice rocketing down his spine.

He tried to tear his eyes away and move on. But his body was deaf to his logical instructions and so he waited.

It had been nearly 44 hours since he had been spiralling towards the ground with both engines aflame. He hadn’t stopped moving since his parachute caught on a rocky outcrop and arrested his fall with a jolt he was still feeling in his shoulders. He’d dodged the roving bands of soldiers and all the locals too - for how could he know who to trust? And even if he could, he’d only endanger them further. He’d crept slowly but surely towards the local town - hoping for somewhere to hide, food to steal, maybe some kind of weapon more useful than the short length of crumbling iron railing he carried and then… Well. A plan of some kind.

The town had been used as a shield for the local militia and everyone who lived there was effectively imprisoned in their own neighbourhoods. From the moment he’d entered through the heavily guarded gates clinging to the bottom of a truck he wondered how any of them were still functioning.

The devastation and oppression he had witnessed had crept under his skin like a poison he knew he couldn’t outlive. He would carry it for always now.

The latest Allied onslaught had meant half the place was in ruin. The residents were stoically keeping on going as best they could with what remained… as well as the makeshift medical centre he’d clocked a handful of shops, a tiny church and the primary school across the square from where he crouched among those that were still welcoming people through their sandbagged doors.

As for the rest… well… at least all the rubble and mostly-collapsed buildings provided shelter for one who knew how to use it. He’d slipped from shadow to shadow.

Watching, listening.

And it had paid off. His grasp of the local language was basic but he knew some key words and because of that he knew a cargo plane of armaments was due to arrive at the playing-fields-turned-airstrip on the other side of town in 2 hours. All he had to do was get there unseen, stow away until the ship was airborne again and then overpower the single pilot with the sedative that was the sole item left in the micro first aid kit stowed in his left thigh pocket.

The plan kept him upright when the despair surrounding him dragged his bones towards the ground.

The teacher crouched and addressed her flock with a gentle but emphatic tone as the soldiers jeered behind her. One lad shook his head, horrified, and one of the taller girls frowned and grasped her by the arm. She was shaken off and the trembling woman barked a one-word command that echoed through the courtyard

“RUN.”

Even he knew that word. And his brain shrieked at him to obey…

Seconds ticked by. Each one should have been taking him closer to that airstrip. He had a home to get back to. Brothers to get back to. Dad, Grandma, the farm. That cute librarian he’d promised to meet for coffee when he returned from duty. The smell of maple pancakes and bacon. A thousand sunrises. Hugs. Probably a medal and recognition as a war hero.

He had a life to live…

But so did the woman not 30 feet away, who was now stiffening her spine and lifting her chin in defiance to impossible odds.

She was more of a hero than Scott would ever be, the quiet, un-showy type only visible when everything else became so desperately dark. The kind that made the world worth saving.

He tightened his grip on the rusty metal bar and stepped out of the shadows into the square.

[AO3]

Ok a TBC did happen and got a bit massive…

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #scott tracy #idontknowreallywhy fanfic #Military!Scott #Warzone #Tw: war #songfic in the sense that listening to that song while you read would add to the atmosphere?#TB Estera #estera

38 notes · View notes

stargazing15 · 1 year

Text

Letting go

Bob x Fem reader

Summary: not all fairy tales consisted of only highs, sometimes there were very low lows

Warnings: very angsty, cheating?, break up, alcohol consumption

A/N: pictures are from Pinterest. Sorry for the bad mood

Previous: cosy cuddles - Next: Oh how I was wrong

Mood 🎵:

Enjoy!

Things with Bob were going good, maybe it was all a little too good to be true, or do fairytales really exist? You were dating now for almost a year and let's be honest you had never been happier before. Still feeling those butterflies in your belly when Bob lit a smile, they way he could make you melt under his touch. Your time together either meant going out on a date, curled up next to each other watching a movie, or other activities, or meeting his friends at the Hard Deck.

Right now you were doing the latter. The guys were playing pool and you were laughing with Phoenix and Bob on the side as the guys were showing off their mostly failing pool tricks. The wonderful and livid mood of the group got cooled down as a girl entered the bar. She was pretty, very pretty with her long hair, perfect body and gorgeous face, everything you did not have. Bob's expression had changed when he looked at the reason behind the intrusion at the entrance of the Hard Deck and immediately let go of your hand he was holding.

The girl's attention went straight to Bob as she started to walk towards him with a big smile on her face showing off her perfectly white teeth.

"Oh shit." You heard Phoenix say quietly next to you. Everyone's reaction, but mostly Bob sudden distance, was starting to scare you.

"W-who, who is she?" You asked Phoenix with the most worried look on your face she had ever seen.

"Has he told you about his last relationship?"

"N-no." Her question was scaring you even more as you now we're about to find out what Bob has been hiding from you. Truth to be told, you hadn't told him how badly things had ended with your ex-boyfriend either. But at least Bob knew he existed.

"That was her, they, uhm, they were engaged. She left him when deployment was coming up, she liked to brag about the fact that he's in the Navy, but she hated the hours, the deployments, she almost made him choose between her and the job." That was were Bob's worry if you could live with his job came from. "I've always hated her and when Bob was left heartbroken once again after she ended the engagement, I hoped he had enough of her, I truly thought he figured out she just used him and got over her, guess I was wrong, I'm so sorry. I really thought you were the one for him, he was genuinely happy with you, he never stopped talking about you at work, like never. Believe me, when he was with her he was never that talkative."

"But she's back and by the looks of it, wants to pick up where they left off." You said with a scrappy voice trying to hold back the tears. Ever since she arrived Bob hadn't looked at you, only having eyes for her. Had he already forgotten about you? About your relationship? Was five minutes enough to completely forget you? This was not the Bob you had fallen in love with.

You heard Bob say to her "Let's talk outside" while guiding her outside by holding her hand, the hand that was supposed to be intertwined with yours, not hers.

"I am so sorry Y/N." Phoenix said while squeezing your shoulder. The whole group was now looking between you and and the entrance of the Hard Deck while holding their breath, knowing Bob was possibly going to break your heart in a million pieces.

"Y/N, you need to know Bob was happier the last year with you than he had ever with her, I don't know what's going on in his head right now." Fanboy stepped in.

"Thank you Mickey, but I'm so scared. I need to see Bob, he can't be the same as him, Bob is better."

"Wait, I'm not going to let you go alone." Fanboy ran behind you, standing next to you while looking outside at Bob and his ex being way too close to each other for your liking.

"Who do you mean by 'him', Y/N?"

"My ex, he was my first boyfriend, he really hurt me, psychologically." You confessed a part of your past for the first time with a soft voice. But as you were saying that, you saw the girl noticing you watching them and she threw a smirk at you, right before kissing Bob. And he did nothing to stop her, nothing at all, he even melted in the kiss. Smiling at her when they let go.

Your heart broke at the sight, shattering in a million pieces, heartbeat going so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of your chest, knees going weak and wobbly, you even started to feel a stabbing pain in your heart and the feeling like it was about to bleed out. Tears had formed in your eyes and were now streaming down your face. Your autopilot had wiggled yourself out of Fanboy's embrace, going straight to Bob. As the door opened and you appeared, looking like shit, he realized what he had done, how he had been blinded by her, forgetting to do things properly, he had always sworn not to do this, basically cheating on someone.

"How-how could you? You're, you're just as bad as anyone else!" You tried to scream at him but only muffled sounds were coming out. "I hate you!" You sobbed before running away, but you didn't hate him, you hated her. As if the skies were feeling your pain, it started pouring, hard. After hours of running an eventually walking you had arrived completely drenched at your place.

With your first step in, you immediately got reminded of Bob, one of his sweaters was still laying on your couch, but also the activities you had done on your couch, and table, countertop, and almost every single place in your place. Everything reminded you of him and it make you sick.

You quickly changed in your pj's and took the first bottle of liquor you found, trying to let the burning sensation in your throat take over the pain in your heart. Why did Bob choose her over you in the blink of an eye? Maybe your ex was right and you weren't loveable, you would never be enough for someone, just a piece of garbage everyone throws away after a while.

The next day you stayed at home, being your pathetic and hungover self you were still in your bed and ignoring every call or text you had received. There were a dozen from Natasha, even from Mickey and of course from your friend from work, Natasha probably had looped him in. But not one from Bob, he probably had already forgotten you.

You felt incredibly empty and yet filled with self hate at the same time. Trying to forget about Bob, your autopilot had started cleaning like a maniac, putting on a new scent candle you found somewhere in the back of one of your cabinets, rearranging the furniture and you had packed all of Bob's stuff in a bag, once you were feeling ready for it, you would drop it off in the Hard Deck, not wanting to go near his place.

And Bob? In contrast to you was in his seventh heaven, he was happy she wanted him back, they had so many good memories together, already forgotten about all the bad ones and there were a lot of bad ones. With you, it was just a year, yes he loved you, you still have a special place in his heart, but with her, it was different, they have a longer history, they were about to get married after all. And now that she had made up her mind, they could pick up where they left off, so he thought. He never wanted to hurt you like this, but it was stronger than him.

It was good that the next weeks were going to be hectic at work so you could get your mind off everything. So that's what you did, throwing yourself at work, working lots and lots of overtime, not taking care of yourself and trying to ignore your friend, all still on autopilot. You should know from the last time that this destructive lifestyle was not going to end well, but you couldn't help it.

That friday you thought you felt ready to go give Bob's stuff back, you felt ready but you weren't. You just needed the bag out of your place. Once again you hadn't slept much that night, barely eaten anything and consumed too much coffee. You were looking pale with heavy bags under your eyes. Good thing it was San Diego so nobody questioned you wearing sunglasses all day.

When you arrived at the Hard Deck, you felt your heartbeat go from elevated to really high and the stabbing pain returned too. With cold, sweaty hands you took the bag and entered the Hard Deck. It wasn't hard to spot them. She was sitting on his lap and being way too noisy. No one had noticed you entering until you were standing right before them.

"Here, your stuff." You said to with a shaky voice, letting the bag land in front of them. "I can't have it laying around, it's easier to forget you without it." He was shocked with your appearance, he wanted to say something, but he couldn't get a word out knowing how much he had hurt you.

"Well thank you and byeeee." His ex - now current girlfriend said, in a way making you want to sink in an even deeper and darker hole than you were already in.

"Don't speak to her in that way." Bob warned her to be polite but still kissed her anyway, ripping the shattered pieces that were still left of your heart out of your body.

"Come on Bob, look at that worthless piece of shit, she's not worth it." Bob looked at you apologetically with those beautiful blue eyes you fell in love with.

"I'm sorry, but I really love her, I, I can't explain." Bob whispered towards you. His soft features couldn't get you to be mad at him, only at her. Deep down you wished you had broken it off with Bob because he didn't deserve the stares his friends gave him, you wished they rather would be mad at you. Because you still loved him. You still loved him so much that couldn't breathe anymore. The thought you might not have meant as much to Bob as he means to you was eating you alive.

Your feet were doing the talking for you and made you turn around and leave. Only to be met outside with Natasha, Mickey and surprisingly Bradley. They took you in their embrace to try to give you a little comfort. Being this close to someone for the first time in days, what already felt like weeks, made you break down, spilling all the remaining tears you had left.

"I'm sorry, I can't come here anymore, I can't see him being happy with her, it hurts, I think this is goodbye."

"No, Y/N, you are such delight in our group, don't leave us with that bitch. We might not have talked a lot but, I enjoyed your presence." Bradley said.

"He will realize he's lost without you. He needs time and some common sense."

"I still love him, despite..."

"I know, I know. We will always be here for you Y/N, one phonecall and we'll be there." Natasha said, the rest nodding in agreement.

"I'm sorry, I need time. Goodbye, for now I think." You said before leaving.

Taglist: @mrsjaderogers @bradleybeachbabe @iamdannyday @rhirhikingston @mavrellover91

#bob floyd #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd imagine #bob floyd x y/n #bob floyd x you #bob floyd fanfic #robert bob floyd fanfic #robert bob floyd imagine #robert bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x you #robert bob floyd x y/n #top gun fanfic #top gun: maverick #top gun maverick #bob floyd angst #robert bob floyd angst #Spotify

179 notes · View notes

rainfallnightmare · 6 months

Text

Chapter 2

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Florist Y/n x Bartender Sun, Moon, Eclipse, Lunar and BloodMoon

Genre: Fluff

Warning: None

Word counts: 1396

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 week later

April 24th

Y/n POV:

A week since I have gone over and visited the celestial light bar. It was an interesting time since it was the first time in like 3 years since I had any kind of freedom to have fun. When I went over to the bar for the first time and met the bartenders there. I didn’t expect to stay long after the first time I tried out one of Sun’s special drinks. Luckily I didn’t stay long to get drunk but long enough to get to know the guys which honestly felt refreshing.

Today I was getting my shop ready as everything I ordered came in today. After I got the shelves stock up and the plants that were ready to be transferred to the windows. I looked around to see how amazing it looked after getting everything situated and done. “I’m very much grateful that Denise gave me this place, if it wasn’t for her then I would be searching for quite some time to find a decent place” I said to myself as I looked outside to see how busy the street was today. Heading over and grabbing two small flower pots that had my favorite flower, I placed them on the main count with one on each end. “Well this is cute for a flower shop” I Jumped in surprise when I heard a voice behind me. Turning around quickly, I saw BloodMoon standing at the entrance of my shop as he looked around the place. “BloodMoon? What brings you here” I asked while BloodMoon came over to the counter where I was standing. “Just came by to see how the progress of your shop is going and to give you this” BloodMoon reached into his dark gray dress pants and pulled out an envelope as he handed it to me.

“What is it?”

I looked at BloodMoon confused as he shrugged his shoulders and just leaned against my counter. “Don’t know but I was told to give it to you” Even more confused on what he meant. I opened the envelope to see an invitation from the Celestial Light Bar which caused me to look at BloodMoon. “Are you guys holding a party or something?” BloodMoon just shrugs his shoulders before going around my shop that wasn’t even open yet. “The others thought of holding an event and everyone who receives an invitation from any of us is allowed to come to the event” BloodMoon mentions as he turns towards my direction while light touches one of the plants near the windows.

“Okay? So when is this event happening?” I asked while putting the invite in my pocket so I didn’t lose it. “Next Saturday at 8 PM” BloodMoon answered without hesitation as he pushed off my counter and walked over to the window and looked outside. “Next Saturday huh, is it a formal event cause I’m not really the type to wear dresses really” I said jokingly since it was true that I didn’t really care to wear anything formal to the event. Since no one really invites me to go unless my annoying mother drags me to one. “It’s just mostly casual so no formal going on at least for a while” I guessed that he and the others had done formal events.

“Well I’ll see what is going on next week if I have plans or not. But other than that, is there something you would like from here or was coming by and handing me an invitation for today?” As much as I would like to continue my conversation with BloodMoon but I had to get ready to open my store. “Chasing me out already rose” BloodMoon said jokingly which had me softly glare at him. I then stopped when I realized that BloodMoon just gave me a nickname that caused me to blush a little.

“Rose huh”

BloodMoon chuckled as he nodded his head. “You remind me of a pretty red rose” BloodMoon explains before he heads to the front door. Before he left my shop, BloodMoon turned back around and gave me his cheeky grin. “See you around rose” BloodMoon then left, leaving me speechless for the first time.

“These animatronics are gonna be the death of me”

I chuckled softly to myself as I went over and flipped the sign to ‘Open’. The morning was slow but nice for the first day of the shop being open. As the afternoon came around and it was basically my lunch time. I decided to skip it for the day since I just wanted to get at least enough sales for the day before it was closing time. When the last customer left with their purchase, I went over to close the shop since it was now around 6 PM. “A lot of people have came today which is a surprise” I was satisfied with today's results as I was grabbing a broom and started to sweep the floors. Once I cleaned up the place, I looked at the flowers that I had and thought about the Celestial light bar. “I wonder if they would like the flowers I have here” I put the broom away and dealt with the money before grabbing the plants I was gonna give to the bar next door and locked up the shop.

Heading over to the bar, I held the plants in one arm while I opened the door with the other. When I got inside and looked around, I saw that all the guys were doing something with customers as there were a lot then before. “Wow, they sure are popular” I chuckled softly while I walked over to the bar and placed the flower on the counter.

“I see that you have came back here again huh miss/sir L/N” I heard as I looked to see Moon in front of me while looking at what was in front of him. “I just came by and was dropping these off. '' I smiled softly as Moon slightly moved the flowers. “What's the occasion?” Moon turned his attention towards me as I shrugged my shoulders even tho it was mostly meant as a gift. “It be a gift for the drink and the invitation you guys gave me” Moon chuckled softly after hearing that statement from me as the other soon came over and saw what all our commotion about. “What’s going on here?” Lunar ask confused. Sunny looked and squealed excited as he quickly took the flowers I brought into his hands. “Looks like we have received a gift from our sunflower” Sun said as his rays danced around his head happily.

“It’s not that great of a gift” I felt a little embarrassed since Sun was making the gift I gave them a huge deal. “I wouldn’t say that lily, It’s the thought that counts that we appreciate” Eclipse says with a pleasant smirk as Lunar nodded his head happily. I realized something, Both Sun and Eclipse gave nicknames of a plant like BloodMoon did which made my heart skip a beat.

“You alright there Iris, your kind quiet there all of the sudden” Lunar said as he lightly placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m fine Lunar, I just glad you guys like the gift is all” I gave Lunar a reassuring smile to not worry him even tho his nickname for me was cute like the others. “Was that all you came to do Orchid, or did you want to spend time with us” Moon said teasingly which caused me to blushed a bit as I softly glared at him.

“You guys would like that wouldn’t you”

“That’s right Orchid”

I was a little surprised by Moon’s response as he let out a cheeky smile. I looked at the time and thought of it since I haven’t eaten anything yet. “Hmm if I do, would you treat me to dinner~” I said to all of them as they too were a little surprised before smiling/grinning at my offering. “Why of course rose” BloodMoon said as he quickly left to head to the kitchen. Lunar escorted me to a seat as Eclipse yet again handed me a menu but this one was different from the last time I was here.

“We hope you enjoy your time here lily”

#dca au #aus #dca fandom #eclipse x reader #moondrop x reader #sundrop x reader #bloodmoon x reader #lunar x reader #nfa y/n #nfa lunar #nfa eclipse #nfa moon #nfa sun #nfa bloodmoon #nfa #nature finest addition

31 notes · View notes

cabezadeperro · 5 months

Note

🤎 for Kix/Jesse (if you are still playing)

hi!!!!

established situationship, T, alcohol mention. canon compliant (sorry)

🤎 multiple kisses / kisses all over / kiss after kiss

---

“You have him?”

“I have him.”

Kix crouches in front of Jesse, trying his best to not touch the disgusting floor of the alley. He didn’t have as much to drink as Jesse, but he’s had more than enough, and keeping his balance is harder than it should.

He looks over his shoulder: Rex’s attempting to duck from under Jesse’s arm, but Jesse won’t let him go, his hand wrapped like a vice around Rex’s bicep. Rex is flushed and sweaty, his eyes bright, and when Jesse tugs him closer he rolls his eyes and allows it. Jesse smacks a kiss on his cheek, loud and wet and kind of gross, and Rex snorts. He smiles, big and wide and bright, and Kix feels something clench within his chest—it’s been a while since the last time he saw Rex smile like that.

He looks away, and when Jesse stumbles, Kix’s there to stop him from falling. He wraps his hands around his thighs, his fingers slipping slightly in the sleek fabric of Jesse’s dress greys, and then he stands up. Jesse’s arms wrap around his neck, and he rubs his unshaved jaw against Kix’s smooth one like a tooka.

Kix starts the long, slow walk towards the barracks; Rex stays behind, cigarette already between his lips, his hands cupping the flame of his lighter. He paid for everyone’s drinks—Kix’s pretty sure the general gave him the money: Skywalker has known Jesse for a long, long time, almost as long as Kix and Jesse have known each other. Jesse’s chest is warm against Kix’s back, and Jesse’s lips are on his jaw, on his cheek, not quite kissing the skin.

“Are y’gonna stay tonight?” Jesse asks suddenly. Kix pauses in front of the turbolift, steps inside when the doors slide open. Jesse is heavy, but Kix’s carried heavier for longer, and—it’s fine.

“D’you want me to?”

Jesse sighs. They are alone in the lift—it’s so late it’s early, and anyway, lately most civvies avoid the area. Too many clones on leave, and too many shock troopers on duty.

“I always want you to stay,” Jesse says under his breath, his lips moving against Kix’s skin. He blinks away from his reflection, breaking his own gaze.

Jesse’s very drunk. Kix knows he means it: that’s irrelevant. If Jesse were sober, he wouldn’t say it out loud. Kix clears his throat.

“You have a very early morning tomorrow,” Kix replies. And you’re very drunk. “Sure you want me to keep you up?”

Jesse says nothing, and after a while. The lift stops: Kix tugs Jesse higher over his hips and starts making his way towards the barracks. He can see them at the end of the street, huge and dark against Coruscant’s night sky.

He’s beginning to think that Jesse’s fallen asleep when he shifts. “That’s not what I meant,” he grumbles. “And you know it.”

Kix presses his lips together. He nods at the boring troopers standing guard and steps inside. He blinks and makes a face when the lights come on, the sensors ticking as he walks towards the place where the 501st is billeted.

Jesse exhales. He starts shifting, trying to get off Kix’s back: Kix ignores him, ignores it, and doesn’t stop until they’re at Jesse’s cot. The long, dark room is quiet, mostly empty: most of the battalion is out in the city, making the best out of their leave. Kix unceremoniously dumps Jesse on top of his mattress, and then he kneels on the ground and starts unlacing Jesse’s boots. Jesse allows it, but Kix can feel the heat of his glare on the crown of his head.

After a beat, Kix sighs. He finishes tugging off Jesse’s boots and glances up at him: Jesse’s scowling, but he’s not actually angry.

“I’m sorry,” Kix says. He looks away, down at his own feet. He moves to sit down on the edge of Jesse’s cot, his thigh against Jesse’s hip. “I just—”

He trails off: he doesn’t even know how to explain it to himself.

“I know,” Jesse says. Kix blinks and glances up at him: Jesse’s shrugging out of his jacket, turning and shifting on the bed so that his head lies on the pillow. He’s looking at Kix with sad, liquid eyes: he’s already half-asleep.

Kix makes him drink some water, and then watches him until Jesse makes his sulking way through a stale civilian protein bar Kix finds in his locker.

And then it’s time to leave, to find his own bed, to sneak into someone else’s, and it wouldn’t be the first time but Kix finds he’s just not in the mood. It didn’t quite sink until that moment: Jesse really is leaving. Not forever, he’ll just be away for a few months, and then he’ll return, but he’s the only one left. Fives dead, Hardcase dead. Echo dead as well. Rex—well. Rex is Rex.

“It’s only ARC training,” Jesse grumbles. He’s closed his eyes, and he’s lying on his side, his hands under his cheek like a child. There are chalky crumbs on his lips and on the pillow. “Don’t look so tragic.”

Kix huffs.

“Move over,” he says. Jesse blinks his eyes open.

Kix can feel Jesse’s gaze on him while he undresses, leaving his rumpled greys where they fall. He slides under the thin sheets, and then Jesse’s wrapping arms and legs around him, tucking his head under his chin. Kix sighs, tries and fails to breathe through the pressure on his breastbone, through the tightness in his throat, and falls asleep to Jesse’s lips on his throat.

#kixjesse #jessekix #jessix #clone trooper jesse #clone trooper kix #maría writes #cloneshipping #ship snippets

27 notes · View notes

roboticbuild · 10 months

Text

Hello everyone I need to be insane Abt Asuka NOW!!!! Warning for anyone who cares Abt it I guess this post is gonna have guilty Gear spoilers? I doubt people who see this are gonna care but better to be safe than sorry.

But also hey what if I overanalyzed the lyrics of the Guilty Gear theme for Asuka, The Gravity? Haha, just kidding.......

........Unless?

Read more just in case it becomes long lol

Anyways I've been listening to the Circle on loop and there's obviously a LOT of symbolism, it's guilty gear, but there's a very specific set of lyrics that's making me feel like an insane madman (or thatman.)

So I wanna go over each lyric MOSTLY one by one kind of. And now I will immediately be inconsistent.

Find it, find it

Something unseen

Play back the history, answers within

I think this part is so so important bc I think it shows how Asuka doesn't only choose to never leave the past, but ACTIVELY chooses to stay in the past. It's only MAYBE at the end of strive where he thinks somewhat about the future of himself and the people around him. And even then, he continues to run from his consequences, and the truth of how everything is now. And so, he looks into the past, to find the answers he needs for the present. He thinks about Fredrick, he thinks about Aria- but in the end he doesn't think about Sol Badguy, or Jack-O Valentine. He looks into the past and can only think about his sins, and how he needs to persecute himself to "repent"- when it never was the answer. This isn't to deny he's changing- he absolutely is. But timeline wise? It's only recent. While Sol and Aria's soul (and the fragments we see chars become from her soul) have been changing CONSTANTLY. They've never stopped changing.

And I think it makes something very, very interesting. Where somewhat recent, Sol decided to not look too far into the past, while also being blinded by it. He didn't think of the future, because he- at least in my opinion which is a whole other post- didn't plan to be in a future after his original goal of destroying all gears. Asuka wants the past to be the past again, and Sol wants the past to be destroyed in something similar to a blazing glory.

And Aria? She's like a god damn anchor. She doesn't want to look at the past. She doesn't want it, knowing what has happened. She looks toward the future, and she stands in the present, and she decides she refuses to let the cycle continue. She knows this present and this future isn't her own- she was never supposed to be this far. And so, as she refuses to overwrite Jack-O, she decides one thing, her own choice for herself- this isn't her world. It's Jack-O's. She already had her own time, and she's not going to rip it away like it was ripped away from her.

Does existence have a meaning?

This one is extra interesting to me, as it's eventually followed up by "Does meaning have (a) meaning?" And I think it kind of shows the way Asuka thinks. He over thinks everything, but not the things in the now. He thinks until the definition of things are ripped apart- and on the way he questions his own existence. He questions if all of this was meant to happen. If what he did to Fredrick, to Aria, was truly an act of himself or an act of fate.

And maybe this is me overanalyzing in the "analyze everything" game series, but I think it's in a way shown that Asuka in this song and some parts in general finds fate to be something horrifying. One of the hardest things he has trouble understanding is something out of his control, something that doesn't fit his visual, even if the visual is caring. He couldn't understand why Aria would choose to eventually die than be cryo frozen into a cure, after all. He just... Can't understand it, when isn't the essence of humanity to survive? To live? When he wants to help the people he cares about most? When he loves them, god he loves them, so why would they choose to the "obvious answer" to continue being alive? To continue existence and love and care?

And so he rips down meaning after meaning to do what he can to understand definition and not person, because he doesn't know how.

The reality of truth, the reality of truth

what should we accept?

Reality of truth, reality

This. Makes me fucking insane.

Because it's a part of Asuka, understanding he needs to accept the present. The reality of truth- that Sol isn't Fredrick, and Jack-O isn't Aria. The reality that Sol isn't just gonna be buddy buddy with him again like old times, nor is Aria coming back. That everything has changed, and he barely has. And he can't help but wonder, if he should accept it. If he should accept the now instead of his original goal of making the past real again. He isn't sure, and after the events of Strive ESPECIALLY not sure at all. And it kind of scares him, I think. He fears change so badly, after all.

As the Universe turned black

Okay here's the part that led to me making this post at like seven am. I think the "Universe" turning black is a part of the next lyric, but also its own type of thing. He almost ended humanity. Even if for the people he loves and cares about, even if outside forces were involved- He still almost ended humanity.

And I think this shows how hopeless he felt, witnessing the Crusades. Watching as he knew that was Aria, that was fucking Aria, in Justice. Even if it was a mixture of things, it was still her! It was still her!!!!! And he fucked everything up. And he knows this so god damn well, especially as he witnesses Sol bring her down.

Did the Sun ever defy fate?

This one is connected to the above part, yes. It shows Asuka's fear of fate, shows how he believes it to be inescapable and world ending. After all, when the Sun goes out, so does the world. And when the sun is gone, only black will fill the stars, without the light of the Sun.

But not only that: It's also about Sol.

It's about how Sol, with the Flame of Corruption within, who tries to burn the past and present- and with every attempt, everything traces back to Sol as well, and he's the one to stop it because it's in his way. How Asuka sees what Sol does now as an inescapable path of horrifying, world ending fate. And how Asuka has felt for so long it was his own fate to be killed by Sol.

Beyond it all, do you recognize me?

THE BIG INSANITY INDUCER EVERYONE. MY GOD. I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME.

It's so. Clear as day. It's how Asuka hadn't confronted Sol because he was scared of losing his friends. How Asuka runs away and away and away. How Asuka wonders, I must be so different now. He must not recognize me anymore. How in one of the dialogue things as vs Sol, he says Sol is the one who hasn't changed. And when Sol replies that he's one to talk? It just makes me crazy. Because Asuka sees himself as someone who has changed so god damn much, when he hasn't. He simply hasn't. And he continues the cycle, to fulfill his want for knowledge and understanding of this world and universe. He continues, over and over, and admits it to himself: he's not different. He's so recognizable to the point it's horrifying. He has the hair from the past. He has the demeanor, everything. Meanwhile, Sol has changed so much he could be considered near unrecognizable.

And, in the end, even if he's starting to finally face the present? He wants everything back. He wants Fredrick back. He wants Aria back. He wants it to be the same again, and he wants Sol to recognize him as his friend, not the person who caused him so much despair and pain. He doesn't want Sol. He wants Fredrick. He wants Fredrick.

And, with the backing vocals? The "the wings, the wings, Gravity"? The sun burns Asuka's wings every time, and makes him fall. And he continues to fly again and again, to continue the cycle he made for himself.

So in conclusion. This guy is so fucked up and I think about him a lot.

#guilty gear #guilty gear strive #asuka r kreutz #sol badguy #Fredrick #Aria #jack o valentine #I FORGOT LAST NAMES FOR ARIA AND FRED NAUUUURRR #long post #gif

36 notes · View notes

cryptidclaw · 2 years

Text

The other three apprentices from my Clan Gen! If this was an actual book I think that these 3 would be the main character trio! They all have different and interesting perspectives of the clan and I think seeing how each of them grow would be really interesting!

I've been trying to post clan gen designs everyday but college has started back up and I had a busy weekend so it took me a few days to finish drawing these three T-T

also I had to look up what a pseudo tabby is and all I found was a rare mutation where a tabby is blue with red stripes so that's what I went with for Fennel, I have no clue if that's what this description meant tho lol

Image ID below v

[Image 1 ID: Screenshot from the Clan Generator website which reads “HAWTHORNCLAN; The Demonic and Unstable”./End ID]

[Image 2 ID: A digital drawing of Nightpaw over a black background. He is sitting with his back legs slightly raised and he has a stern, aloof expression on his face. He is a slender black tom with long fur and orange eyes with red linkng the tops of them. his fur fluffs up around the upper parts of his legs, and the rest of his legs are more slender and are a darker shade of black. He has a red scar on the right side of his lip, and a larger one on his lower back. Above him to his right is a screenshot of his description from the clan gennorator which says, “NIGHTPAW- a long haired, black tom, with amber eyes.” below this is written in white hand writing “-Mother & Mentor: Spiderstar; -father was the previous leader; -Spider killed his dad and became leader shortly after Night became an apprentice; - Spider is training him to be her perfect successor’ -partly knows the truth about Spider’s tyranny and her “disappearing” cats but he has been taught to think this is okay; -very aloof personality”. below him the writing is continued and it says “-doesn't know how to talk to other cats; only knows how to give and follow orders”. /End ID]

[Image 3 ID: A digital drawing of two cats, Hornetpaw on the left and Fennelpaw on the right, over a black background. Hornetpaw is standing in a mid turn pose. her head is lowered to the ground and her front paws are unsheathed, she has a scowl on her face and she is looking toward the ground. She is a green eyed, skinny, long spikey furred creamy white molly with yellow and grey calico patches which take the form of jagged alternating stripes on the upper part of her face and continuing down her back and tail. On Hornetpaw’s upper left is a screenshot of her description from the clan generator which says “HORNETPAW- a mostly white, blue and cream ticked tabby calico she cat, with long fur and hazel eyes”. Fennelpaw is on Hornetpaw’s right, sitting crouched low to the ground in a defensive pose, he has a worried/scared expression on his face and he has his ears back. He is a green eyed, short furred classic tabby, his base coat is a blue grey color while his stripes are a rusty red, he also has a white muzzle, paws, chest and tail tip. On Fennelpaw’s upper right is a screenshot of his description from the clan generator which says “FENNELPAW- a red classic “pseudo-tabby” tom, with short fur and green eyes”. Above both cats is written in white hand writing “-Father: Shadowwhisker; -Mother “disappeared” soon after they became apprentices and they were told she abandoned them and the clan; -are bullied a lot by Tansy & Dacepaw bec. they have a “traitor” mother; “Shadow is barely a father to them & just tells them not to be disappointments like their mom”. Below Hornetpaw is written “-Mentor: Swanheart; -Believes her mom is a traitor, but is actually in deep deep denial about the truth; -very upset that Swanheart is her mentor bec. quote, “having a deputy for a mentor should be a honor! but EVERYONE knows he’s weak!”; -desperate to prove herself”. Below Fennelpaw s written “Mentor: Rainclaw; -despite what he has been told he believes his mother was killed; -scaredy cat & terrified of all the cats in the clan; -least scared of Swanheart and wishes he was his mentor instead”./End ID]

#Cryptidclaw's Clan Gen #Clan gen #clan gen challenge #warrior cats #warrior cats design #warriors oc

263 notes · View notes

musette22 · 2 years

Text

Heat Wave

Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (Evanstan)

Word count: 2.5k

A/N: Like every single person in this fandom I’ve been replaying Chris’s Buzzfeed puppy interview non-stop in my mind (and also on youtube) since it came out last week, and giving too much thought to his flirty thot behavior during the Lightyear press tour, so my brain said “do the thing” and I did.

Also, you guys are familiar with the concept of ‘more cake’ right? ‘Cause that’s all this is lol. This is either very fun or very weird, so... enjoy?

Beta'd by my best boo, @rainbowsandcoconut 😘

Read on AO3

*******************

"Oh, shut up.”

Chris grabs his bare chest in pretend affront. “Shut up? That’s what I get for telling my dear friend she looks nice in a bikini?”

Scarlett rolls her eyes. “You know it weirds me out when you say stuff like that.” She drops her chin, lowering her voice into a mocking imitation of Chris’s. “‘I swear, if you weren’t like a sister to me…’ Like, what does that even mean?”

“It’s meant to be a compliment!”

“It’s a weird ass compliment. Go flirt with someone who isn’t like a sister to you and is also, you know, not married.”

“Ew.” Chris pulls a face. “I’m not flirting with you.”

Scarlett gives him a deadpan look. “You’re like the biggest flirt I know, Chris. You flirt with anything that moves.”

“’Scuse you,” Chris huffs. “Just because you can’t take a compliment doesn’t mean I’m hitting on you, alright? You think that’s flirting? I hate to break it to you, sis, but you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

Scarlett snorts, hitching her bikini top up a little higher. “That so? Well, go subject someone else to it, is all I’m saying.”

Repeating Scarlett’s words in a high-pitched, whiny voice, because he’s mature like that, Chris turns away, towards the pool. Hands on his hips, his eyes scan the gaggle of assorted co-stars and crew members seeking refuge from today's searing heat by the poolside. It’s so hot that the Civil War producers decided to give everyone a day off from filming, and people are taking full advantage of it.

He considers his options. There’s Lizzie, maybe – but no, taken. Emily's just gotten engaged. Maybe Tina from costume..? Wait no, she’s married.

“Nobody here’s single, though,” Chris pouts.

Scarlett hums thoughtfully, looking around as well. “Well... what about Sebastian?”

Chris barks out a surprised laugh. “Seb? But he’s –”

“A guy?” Scarlett shrugs. “So what? Surely a minor issue like gender isn't going to be a problem for someone as confident in their flirting skills as you are? Or were you just bluffing?”

They stare at each other for a long moment, locked in a battle of wills that Chris is very familiar with, after over a decade of friendship with the woman in front of him.

He takes a moment to consider Scarlett’s point. He doesn't usually come on to guys, at least not with any sort of intent, but he thinks he could be persuaded. He's mostly straight, sure, but he's not entirely immune to male good looks, nor is he averse to broadening his horizons a little. And Sebastian... Well, Sebastian is Sebastian, and Chris has a soft spot, alright?

It’s true that Sebastian is newly single. From what Chris had heard, it’d been an amicable split, just two people deciding it would be better to go their separate ways. Sebastian hasn’t seemed all that torn up about it these past few weeks, and if he had been, maybe Chris’s reply would’ve been different.

But as it is, he makes up his mind, and nods. “Ok, you know what? Fine.” He runs a hand through his damp hair, cracking his neck, and then his fingers for good measure. “Watch and learn.”

Scarlett merely quirks a sardonic eyebrow.

Taking a bolstering breath, Chris hones in on Sebastian, who’s standing by himself at the other end of the pool, frantically trying to finish his ice pop before it melts all over his hand, with limited success. By the time Chris reaches him, he’s just dropped the stick into a nearby bin and is licking his fingers to rid them of any remaining stickiness.

When he turns around and finds Chris suddenly standing in front of him, he starts. “Oh, hey.”

Chris dives straight in. “Hi, baby,” he winks. “You havin’ a good time?”

For a long second, Sebastian stares back at him with his mouth hanging slightly open. “Huh?”

“You havin’ fun?” Chris repeats, flashing Seb his most winsome smile.

“I’m-” Sebastian blinks, wiping his hands on his swimming trunks. “I- yeah, it’s, it’s really hot, but nice?”

“Good, good. You here with someone?”

A small frown appears between Sebastian’s eyebrows. His eyes dart over Chris’s right shoulder, presumably at Scarlett, before turning back to Chris. “Yeah, I mean, I’m here with you guys?”

“Sure,” Chris nods, “’course y’are. But you’re not here with anyone… special?”

“Um…” Sebastian frown deepens, making him look thoroughly nonplussed. “No?”

Chris tssk’s, shaking his head. “Well, that just won’t do. Sweet guy like you, all by himself?”

“What?" Sebastian chokes out a startled laugh. "I’m- Chris, what-?”

“What’s your name?” Chris interrupts, determined to keep up his charade, especially now that he can see how flustered it’s making Sebastian. It’s pretty cute, if he’s being honest.

Suddenly, Sebastian’s expression clears, the furrow on his brow smoothing out and his mouth forming a little ‘o’ of understanding as the penny finally drops. He chuckles, bringing a hand up to the back of his neck before glancing up at Chris through his lashes with a look that can only be described as ‘coy’. “I’m, uh- Sebastian?”

Chris breaks out into a grin, giddy with the realization that Sebastian is game to play along.

“Sebastian, huh,” he repeats, tilting his head a fraction. “That’s a cute name. Suits you. Pretty name for a pretty guy.”

Sebastian bites his lip around a smile. “Ah, thank you.”

“And he’s polite,” Chris exclaims. “Aren’t you a doll. Where have you been all my life?”

Slowly, Sebastian shakes his head from side to side, like he can’t believe Chris’s antics but he’s entertained despite himself. “I was right here,” he replies, a little smirk tucked away in the corner of his ice pop-reddened mouth. “Where were you?”

“Oh,” Chris gasps, clutching his chest, “oh no, see, you can’t do that. You can’t smile at me like that and expect me not to throw you over my shoulder and carry you right outta here, pal.”

“Jesus Christ,” Sebastian mumbles, more to himself than to Chris, smiling so wide now it makes his nose wrinkle and his eyes nearly close.

Unexpectedly, Sebastian’s bashfulness sparks an eagerness inside of Chris; a desire to keep it up, to push the limits and see how far he can take this thing. It spurs him into taking a step closer, crowding into Sebastian’s personal space.

“Would you like that, Sebastian?” He reaches out to carefully tuck a stray strand of hair behind Sebastian’s left ear. “If I picked you up and swept you away, took you somewhere private, maybe?”

It’s barely audible, but Chris still catches the hitch in Sebastian’s breath. It makes his own breathing speed up in response, his heart rate ticking up ever so slightly.

“C’mon, honey, whaddaya say?” Chris coaxes, ducking his head to try and catch Sebastian’s downcast eyes. “You trust me?”

Letting out a slow breath, Sebastian looks up. His gray-blue eyes are arresting as ever, though the look in them is new, unfamiliar – thrilling. “Yeah,” Sebastian says, voice low. “Yeah, I trust you.”

Something in Chris’s chest clenches, his heart thumping heavily. He takes a slow, measured breath in an attempt to rein in his emotions before he answers, “Good. That’s real good. Thanks for trustin’ me, baby.”

A small, involuntary sound escapes Sebastian. It seems to startle him, making him avert his gaze and cast his eyes back down at the ground.

“No, don’t hide,” Chris murmurs, lifting a hand and hooking his index finger under Sebastian’s chin to tilt it up. “God, look at that face. You look a lil nervous, huh?” He smiles gently. ‘S okay, pal. Got nothin’ to worry about. I’ll take care of you.”

Chris doesn’t miss the way Sebastian’s jaw slackens, or the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. Slowly dragging his gaze from Sebastian’s throat up to his face, Chris notices Sebastian’s usually almost translucent eyes have gone dark, pupils dilated so far the black has all but swallowed up his irises. “Oh,” he says softly, gently taunting. “Did I strike a chord? There somethin’ you need, sweetheart?”

Sebastian doesn’t reply, just breathes out shakily, his eyelashes fluttering in time with Chris’s eager heart.

Around them, everything has slowed down; gone quiet. There’s a hushed quality to the previously boisterous poolside hubbub, nothing registering in Chris’s consciousness aside from Sebastian’s shallow breathing and the heat radiating from his smooth, toned torso, noticeable even in the sweltering weather.

“What is it?” Chris’s eyes roam over Sebastian’s face, cataloguing his every blink and breath. In the back of his head, a little voice is shouting at him about danger, and lines that can't be uncrossed, and stop, retreat, abort mission. It’s remarkably easy to ignore. “Tell me what you want. Lemme me help you out."

Sebastian’s back hits the wall – Chris hadn’t even noticed they’d been moving. When Sebastian licks his lips, Chris’s eyes follow the pink tip of his tongue, running along his glistening bottom lip before disappearing inside again.

Suddenly, Chris is hit with a wave of want so strong that, had he been wearing socks, would’ve knocked them clean off.

Fuck, but he wants to kiss Sebastian. He wants to kiss him bad.

Distantly, he thinks that realization should scare him more than it does. He half expects anxiety to kick in any moment now, forcing him to laugh this off as a joke while he still can, but as the seconds tick by, all that happens is that the coil of yearning in the pit of his stomach pulls tighter and tighter, until he's just about ready to jump out of his skin with it. He feels lightheaded, drunk on desire – and that’s all he’s drunk on. He hasn’t had so much as a beer all day, just water and a can or two of coke, so it's not alcohol making him feel the way he does.

This is all natural. This is real. What started off as a joke has very quickly transformed into something else entirely, and Sebastian – sweet, obliging Sebastian who played along like a good sport – likewise doesn’t look like he’s playing anymore.

Trapped under Chris’s gaze as he is, Sebastian’s expression is flayed open, trusting, needing –

“Please,” Sebastian breathes.

The sound lures Chris in like a siren call. “Yeah,” he whispers, leaning in. “I got you.”

There’s no cautious start, no tentative softness: the moment their lips touch, Sebastian moans and opens his mouth, and Chris takes the unspoken invitation with both hands, plunging in and kissing him hard. Bare chest pressed to bare chest, Chris’s hands reach up to cup Sebastian’s face while Sebastian’s settle on Chris’s waist, fingers gripping tightly as if trying to anchor himself.

Chris gets it. He feels a little like he’s lost at sea himself, like he’s halfway to drowning in Sebastian already, and they’ve been kissing for all of five seconds. Fuck.

Sebastian tastes sweet, like the strawberry ice pop he just had, though Chris wouldn't be surprised if it was just his natural sweetness coming through. Whatever it is, Chris takes great pleasure in licking the taste right out of his mouth and off his lips, too. Sebastian seems to like that, judging by the sounds he’s making; a soft groan at the back of his throat, a small sigh, a tiny whimper that stirs the fire burning in Chris’s gut up higher, blazing hotter.

Teeth scrape lightly at Chris’s bottom lip, making him growl and tilt Sebastian’s head back a fraction so he can kiss him deeper, delving his tongue into Sebastian’s mouth and claiming him. Sebastian whimpers again, hands now straying all over Chris’s back and sides, and Chris wants to feel them everywhere.

Without conscious thought, Chris tilts his hips, pressing into Sebastian and groaning when he meets a telling hardness there. Fucking hell, that feels good.

“Chris,” Sebastian gasps wetly against his mouth.

Chris hums, rolling his hips and changing the angle of the kiss.

“Chris,” Sebastian repeats again, the word muffled but urgent. “Chris, please.”

“Yeah. Whatever you need, baby. Come get it.”

“No- Chris, we’re in public.”

Quite suddenly, Chris stills.

Oh. Right.

He pulls back a little, looking down at Sebastian’s flustered face, gaze lingering on his thoroughly ravaged mouth for a second before meeting his eyes again. “Um. Oops?”

Sebastian chokes out a breathless laugh. “Uh huh.” He bites his lip in a way that's entirely too enticing and greatly tests Chris’s restraint. “You, uh. You were saying something about taking me someplace private?”

“Jesus.” Chris blows out a sharp breath, followed by a breathless laugh if his own. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. Want me to throw you over my shoulder, too?”

Despite the state he's in, Sebastian snorts and quirks an eyebrow. “I mean, you can try, but you forget I’m up to about two-hundred pounds, now.”

“You are? Jesus Christ, Seb. That’s hot.”

“Oh, god,” Sebastian mutters, ducking his head to hide his blush.

Chris leans in, pressing his lips to Sebastian’s flaming cheeks. “Hey. You know you’re gorgeous when you’re flustered?”

Sebastian swears, letting his head thunk against the wall behind him. “Okay, you gotta stop that right now.”

“Oh, yeah?” Chris smirks. “Or what?”

“Or I’m gonna stop caring we’re in public and drop to my knees right here, right now.”

Well. That certainly wipes the smirk right off Chris’s face.

He swallows hard, nodding like one of those toy dogs on a car dashboard. “Alright, okay. Let’s go.” Reaching down to grab Sebastian’s hand, he squeezes it lightly before starting to lead him away to a chorus of wolf-whistles and catcalls that follows them all the way back to the changing rooms.

“Thank me later,” Scarlett yells after them, sounding horribly smug about it.

When Chris flips her the bird over his shoulder, Sebastian makes an inquiring sound. "Thank her? What does she mean?"

"Who cares?" Chris shrugs, looping his arm around Sebastian's neck and pulling him back in for another kiss. "What I wanna know is, are we actually going to make it all the way back to the hotel, because I kind of just wanna have my way with you right here in the hallway." Sebastian laughs softly, back to being bashful, and Chris groans. "This is impossible."

"So dramatic," Sebastian teases. "Tell you what, if you manage to hold back until we're in a decently private cab, I promise I will..." he leans in, whispering the rest of his words right into Chris's ear.

Chris exhales heavily. "Fuckin’ hell, Seb. Shoulda known you'd be a little trouble maker."

Sebastian bites his lip again, but this time there's a nervous edge to it. "Sorry," he says sheepishly. "Too much? We don't have to do anything, you know, if you don't feel like-"

Chris stops walking abruptly, turning towards Sebastian and taking his face between his palms. "Sebastian. This is the best afternoon of my life. I want this. Do you want this?"

"Yeah," Sebastian smiles, eyes soft and radiant. "Yeah, I want this."

"Good," Chris nods, and kisses him.

*************

READ ON AO3

#more cake!!!#original thoughts will be had again eventually I'm sure #evanstan #rpf #my fic #my writing #chris evans x sebastian stan #buzzfeed puppy interview #ao3

185 notes · View notes

thelavendercatalogue · 8 months

Note

Hmm. Haven’t heard from Goemon for a while in this AU. I’m not sure what he’s been up to. Has he touched bases with everyone since Bad Times started?

Oh that poor bastard has not been having a good time for all the wrong reasons. Or right reasons if you just so happen to think about it

The real reason Goemon hasn't really shown up in this AU is. . .well. . .to be honest. I really don't know how to write him properly. Ive always struggled with everyone's favorite mostly emotionally constipated samurai.

But besides that there IS a good reason as to why he does not show up often in the AU.

You can actually blame Jigen for it.

You see I'm very choosy about what parts of the show i wanna make canon in this AU. And while I still don't know how much of PT5 I actually do wanna make canon in this, there is one major event that has always caught my eye. And I think we all know what part that is.

This part had gotten me thinking. My AU doesn't happen that long after part 6, which in turn I always Headcanoned never took that long after part 5, about a year or so give or take.

Now the reason Jigen has a lot to do with Goemon not being in LJS or at least the first half of LJS is due to him being exceedingly paranoid

You see, Lupin has already forgiven him for what Goemon has done. I don't necessarily think that Lupin is one to hold a Long Standing grudge.

But here's the thing.

While Lupin might have forgiven Goemon however Goemon hasn't forgiven himself all that fully

But imagine if someone else wasn’t that quick to do so

that someone being Jigen

Jigen doesn't forgive very easily

there's still a hesitancy.

I dunno the year difference between PT4/5 and ljs. But Jigen still being jumpy is sad to think about Like he’s not out rightly hostile toward Goemon. But you can tell somethings off.

Which is sad because Jigen knows Lupin would want him to forgive him, but he just cant do that.

But the reason Jigen is so hesitant to allow Goemon the right to be forgiven is because he's known Goe for a while at this point. The betrayal would probably be so way out of left field for him, that it'd be reasonable to assume that he'd originally thought that goemon had moved on from the whole 'wanting to defeat lupin in combat' thing at this point in the game. And then bam, you have Goemon's attempt on Lupins life, which whether he meant too or not, is a still a big deal, considering that no matter what NO ONE in the group has tried to actually hurt each other outside of friendly banter/ well thought out plans

Then that comes that throws it all out of whack

As a result, remnants of the results of that “betrayal” still make their presence known once in a blue moon despite Lupin's attempts to calm Jigen down enough to trust Goe again. But Lupin knows how Jigen is, Jigen doesn't forget that easily nor does he forgive that easily. Jigen still gets twitchy when Goemon makes an odd move towards him. And because of what has happened to Lupin in LJS PT1, the twitchness is full throttle because now Lupin is vulnerable and it's Jigens job to protect him and look out for him against anything Jigen percieves as a threat.

But because Lupin wants Jigen to just forgive him, instead of just casting Goemon to the side, Jigen does something else in an attempt to show he does trust Goemon despite his apprehensions, not for Goemon's sake but for Lupin's alone

By putting him in charge of being his sister Maddies "bodyguard" In a way doing this has a double reason. It keeps Goemon far from Lupin which gives Jigen some peace of mind, but it also shows Goemon that, while he still shows apprehension towards him, that Jigen still trusts Goemon to some extent to guard something precious to him and not throw him away when Lupin isnt in the right mind to object to it.

As a interesting biproduct of this arrangement, Maddie and Goemon grow close because of it. They become friends. Maddie likes Goemon and ends up saying a lot of good things about him to jigen, which would probably improve their relationship too (goe and jigen's, that is)

#lupin iii #lupin the third #daisuke jigen #lupin the 3rd #jigen #jigen daisuke #arsène lupin iii #Lupin III: The Lavender Jacket Series #Lupin III goemon #goemon ishikawa xiii

14 notes · View notes

jaesqueso · 1 year

Text

Phantom

pairing: commoner!xiaojun x princess female!reader

summary: you think something is blooming between you and the innocent book merchant but he might not be so innocent after all

for the Aristocracy collab by @junjungsunwoo

word count: 1,462

warnings: angst, vengeance, sword, death

a/n: it might not be within the deadline but it’s here! 😅 hope ya’ll enjoy it! ❤

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

Another ball at the palace. Your parents sure love hosting, mostly likely to show off the wealth that surrounds you every day. But honestly you don’t really care, there’s not much to do around here anyway. Your days are usually spent in some corner with daylight reading a book. Occasionally you sneak into town and on to the book store. Xiaojun has this cute habit of reading the lines out loud and he always gets you the books you want, no matter how rare and hard to find.

As you search the crowd that’s who you expect to find. Surely a commoner like him isn’t allowed in an event like this but today you think you can only make it through with his company. So you made a whole scheme to get him in and since it’s a masked ball nobody’s gonna know.

Standing in the balcony that faces the ball room, your mind drifts off to Xiaojun’s smile that melts your soul, his intense gaze that sees right through you and the melody of his words swaying their way inside your ears. You recall it so vividly it’s almost like your hearing it right behind you. In instinct you turn around and there he is. A black shiny mask covers half his face but you’d recognise those lips and those eyes anywhere.

“You made it.” You happily sigh, taking a step towards him.

“Of course I did.” He kneels down taking your hand and kissing the back of it. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

While you stare at each other with loving eyes, the music changes into a sweet ballad and everyone downstairs smoothly gathers into pairs.

“Would you do me the honor of this dance?” He offers his arm that you gladly take.

“My pleasure.”

In no time you join the other dancing couples and you’re pleasantly surprised. You didn’t know he was this good of a dancer, but it seems like every time you learn something new about him it just makes you like him more. Like when you discovered he not only loves to read but also write, or how he dreams to one day go to Paris.

As you sway around the dance floor, your gaze is fixed on his as his’ on yours. How do you always get so lost in his eyes? You two are so different yet you’re just the same, two souls meant to find each other in this cruel world. You never danced together but it feels like you’ve always been living by the same melody.

For a second your sight drops to his defined lips and you find yourself wondering how they feel, what they taste like. Oh, how you wish you could kiss them. And like a dream he seems to move closer. How crazy would it be if he would close the distance between the two of you right here, right now. Scandalous. Everybody would stop and stare for sure. And what would the king and queen say? You know you’re bound to be arranged into a marriage someday but it certainly wouldn’t be with someone like Xiaojun. But would your parents change their mind if they saw you two kiss?

“Why don’t we go somewhere more private?” His face approaches your ear instead as he whispers the tempting proposal.

“Where?” You just hope he won’t be able to feel the heat come from your cheeks.

“Somewhere no one will interrupt us.” He looks back into your eyes as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Perhaps your father’s study?”

“No one should be there right now.” Smiling, you nod. “You go ahead, I’ll make sure there are no guards.”

“I’ll be waiting, my princess.” Xiaojun takes a bow before disappearing into the crowd.

Stepping into a corner you grab a glass of water trying to calm yourself down and giving it some time so it doesn’t look suspicious before you walk the halls to the study room. Luckily he choose a location on the fair end of the castle for you to meet, which means less chances for you to get lost. On the way you check for guards and the ones you find you make excuses for them to reallocate somewhere else. The place is like a maze but with so much excitement you don’t even bother to how he knew the way.

“Xiaojun?” You call as you open the door but what you hear it’s not the sweet voice you were hopping for.

“Don’t come in!”

“Oh, don’t be like that to your own daughter. Please join us, princess.”

Your eyes widen when you spot the scene: the king, on his knees, in front of the one you thought you were about to have a pleasant encounter with, holding a sword in front of your father’s neck.

“What are you doing?!” You ask incredulous, as if you were in a dream, or worse, a nightmare.

“Dear princess, I think it’s time you know the truth.” The eyes that once looked at you so lovely are now full of darkness, the lips that once smiled at you like an angel now showing the devil.

“Please, let him go.” You beg. “What has he ever done to you?”

“Should I tell her or should you,” he asks with a scoff, “your majesty?”

“Tell me what?” Your gaze moves between Xiaojun and your father looking for answers.

“Do whatever you have to do with me, just let her go, please!” The king speaks, yelping as the blade tightens on his skin.

“Why should I be merciful with you when you didn’t do the same for me.” He squeezes the handle so hard you can see his knuckles go white. “For my mother.”

“Your mother?” You knew she had passed a few years before, but you never asked how.

“Well, I guess I’ll be the one telling the story.” Xiaojun takes a deep breath. “Your father is not the nice man everybody takes him for.”

“Daughter, leave!” Your father yells getting himself a kick in the back.

“Stay, princess.” The insane look on his face freezes you in place. “You’ll want to hear this.”

“My father has done nothing but the good for the people!” You claim.

“See, there’s where you got it wrong.” His mocking voice makes your blood boil in your veins. “He does good things. But only for the ones who do what he wants. Let me ask you something: is the king faithful to the queen?”

“Of course he is.” Your voice is full of conviction.

“Wrong!” You gasp when the sword cuts through the first layers of skin, smalls red drops running down your father’s neck. “Sorry to break it to you, but the almighty king has slept with half the women in town.”

“That cannot be true!” You say looking at your father for confirmation, but his eyes squeeze shut making you doubt your words.

“Oh, but it is.” Xiaojun continues. “No woman has the guts to tell him no, after all he is the king, right? But my mother… She was a kind woman. And she loved her family. Me. And my father. So when this pig got into her house and tried to lay hands on her, she slapped him across the face.”

“Father…” You can barely see with the tears clouding your eyes. “Please tell me this isn’t true…”

“Unfortunately he won’t be doing that.” He shakes his head. “It’s not very good parenting to lie to your own daughter, is it?”

“Please…” At this point, all your father can do is beg, not sure what for anymore.

“But our kind king doesn’t take no for an answer does it?” Xiaojun looks down, faking a sympathetic face. “So he had to take a different approach to silence her. When I walked into the living room all I heard was your dear father yelling ‘witch!’ before one of his guards slit her throat.”

“No…” Your knees go weak and you crumble to the floor, hands covering your mouth in shock.

“Yes.” He scoffs. “And now it’s time to make things even.”

“Is this why you got close to me? Revenge?” Suddenly it all comes together in your head. “I thought you liked me…”

“You know, for a moment I thought so too.” You see a trace of hope in his eyes before they become dark once again. “But for family, you do what you gotta do.”

You close your eyes as the blade finishes what it had started and the king’s scream echos around the room. He had it all planned out since the beginning, you were just too blinded by passion and desire to see. That was the day you swore never to love another living soul.

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

taglist: @yokshi-unbeliebubble @nc-teen @yutahoes @dimplehyunn @iknowyuno @bebskyy @ne0cultur3technology @nurenciye @luvjeongjaehyun @chenleyang @booyouwhore17 @jenoxygen @star1117-archives

unable to tag: @doahflix @criminalmindsz @jaehyunsprincess

#xiaojun angst #wayv angst #nct angst

31 notes · View notes

takenbypeter · 2 years

Text

More Than My Abilities

Bucky Barnes × Reader

Words: 2328

~~~~~

Request from @sarcastic-sourwolf:

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Y/n has abilities similar to Emma Frost, they meet Bucky during a fighting battle(like civil war film maybe?). During time of preparation they train together, they’re both impressed of each other’s strength, throughout the times of training, they fall in love.♥️

Author's note: I didn’t make reader with Emma Frost’s exact powers but I did include some so yeah there’s that. But otherwise enjoyyyyy also this is like the longest thing I've posted on this blog

~~~~~

When Tony had called you to help in battle this is not what you expected. Not in a million years did you think that you were going into battle…against your own.

You stood on Tony’s side, each person paralleling another on the opposing side. You sort of knew what you were fighting for, but mostly you just agreed because you owed one for Tony, so here you were standing opposite a male you’ve never actually met before.

His face remained stoic and his piercing eyes seemed to already be fixed to your movements. Tensions rise quickly and soon enough, everyone begins charging at each other like wild animals. All except you.

You remained in place as the others leapt forward. Instead of moving your legs, you just moved your hands. It was weird, you could’ve easily knocked him out with your powers but knowing slightly of his story you grew curious. Curious of the man behind the mask. So, instead of taking him down, you delve into his mind. Fingers pressing against your temple there you were, suddenly in his head.

Curious about his past—his actions that brought upon this battle, you looked around searching for anything that might help you put together this broken man. You knew it wasn’t the appropriate time to do this, but you couldn’t help yourself. Upon searching all you could find were fragments

Just as you were about to try to dig deeper, you were knocked off foot easily by none other than Falcon. Focus now askew you no longer had a hold on Bucky. Bucky’s eyes met yours almost wounded. Then angry but his attention was easily taken as someone began to take a swing at him.

Taking in a deep breath you grit your teeth, “guess we’re doing this the hard way.”

And that was it. That was the first time you met Bucky. It wasn’t special, in fact it barely meant anything to you, and honestly you thought that was the end of that

Fast forward to a couple years later and here you were actually being introduced to the man. Hand outstretched, palm wide open, you waited for the man to grab it. But instead of doing so his rigid expression lingered on his face, “yeah we’ve met,” he said, causing your hand to slowly fall back to your side and he trudged past you.

“Don’t worry, like many wines, he gets better with time,” Sam joked as your eyes fixed onto Bucky‘ s back before it turned out from sight. From that point on you were officially part of the team; you hung out with them, you trained with them, you spent a majority of your time with them. But with all that time spent it was painfully obvious to anyone that Bucky took a great disliking towards you.

You didn’t take it too close to heart, I mean the man seemed to dislike almost everyone, except for the very very few exceptions. Unlike Bucky, Steve did take a liking to you, as he did almost everyone.

You and Steve got close, quickly becoming sparring partners. You enjoyed training with Steve, he brought things to the table that you never would have thought of and he was always oddly enthusiastic, but that was part of his charm, wasn’t it?

Entering the training room at your usual time, you looked around noticing Steve wasn’t there. That was until like him.

Turning your attention to the punching bag that sounded like it was taking a beating you noticed someone else, Bucky.

Deciding to wait for the blond you set your things down and began stretching. But when minutes dragged by you realized Steve wasn’t coming.

“Hey, where’s Steve?” You asked Bucky who was obviously occupied.

“He told me to tell you,” he grunted, punching the bag once more before his arm came right back close to his body, “he got called in by Tony so he’s not coming.”

You didn’t know what to say, you’ve been sitting there for twenty minutes waiting and Bucky didn’t bother to say anything. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I just did.”

You let out a frustrated sigh, his punches never ceasing, “he also told me to train with you for the day.”

“Great.”

He let out a breath, blows stopping for a moment before his hands held to both sides of the bag steadying it. “Look I’m only doing this because Steve asked me to, if you wanna walk away be my guest. It’s not like I wanna do this with you either.”

Your face scrunched sort of offended by his words before you shook the feeling off, “what is your problem with me?” you asked, tired of his attitude. His mouth turned down as he shook on his head, “I don’t have a problem with you,” he said and for a moment you stared so badly wanting to get into that brain, to get the big picture, but you knew better than to that, so instead you stepped up to him, “fine. Let’s go.”

Fighting Bucky was not nearly similar to fighting Steve. His steps were much more aggressive, and as Steve thought out his next moves strategically it seemed like Bucky just worked based on instincts. It was definitely a different experience. The first one ended with you flat on your back. The second round ended with your face planted, head pushed against the mat. And the last round finished with you caught in a chokehold.

Tapping his forearm, he swiftly releases you, and you fall to the ground catching your breath. God, it annoyed you how strong he was.

Your hands went to your throat while he plowed to the bench. “By how hard you’re punching, I’m definitely getting the feeling that you hate me,” you say between coughs and he gulps down his drink not denying the fact. Rolling your eyes, you exhaled before shuffling to get your own beverage. You sat on the cold floor beside his legs, finding your own drink.

After downing a decent amount, you lay your head back, body cooling down against the cold floor. Sucking in a breath, you shut your eyes, taking in the silence which was easily broken by an unexpected question.

“What did you see…when you were in my head?”

His eyes were glued to the wall all the way across the room so you weren’t even sure if he was talking to you.

“Your head?”

He let out a sigh, still refusing to look in your direction, “a few years ago we fought and you went inside my head. It was weird I could feel you there…in my head,” finally his eyes met yours and there was something different behind those blue irises, something you’ve never seen before. “What did you see?”

His curious expression threw you off guard for a moment before you realized he was actually waiting for a response. Shifting your own eyes you recall the event, “I saw…memories. Well more like fragments of your memories,” your eyebrows came together, “or broken memories. Some were yours, some were the Winter Soldier’s.”

You chewed on your lip searching for the correct words, “but from the few memories I saw it was weird, because your thoughts in each state were very different. As if you were a different person.”

You noticed his jaw clench and his shoulders tensed and then loosened at your words. From that reaction you could tell he thought differently.

“It was me.”

“It practically wasn’t. Look I know I’m probably overstepping but you can’t keep dragging yourself down because of past mistakes,” you want to reach a hand out and share your warmth with him but your hands remain to your side, “It wasn’t you back then.”

His eyes go back to the empty space on the wall and you’re unsure of how he’s going to react.

“You’re right.”

You were right? You did not expect him to agree so easily. With the distance he’s put between you it was appealing, finally breaking down his barriers. Or so you thought.

“You are overstepping.”

And just like that the walls that you thought were gradually inching down, went right back up. Bucky pushed himself off the bench, threw a towel around his shoulder and exited the room, leaving you alone.

You were baffled. Baffled that he barely let you in and mad at yourself for butchering this so badly. So what’d you do? You started punching the punching bag. As you put a dent against the bag you recalled some moves he displayed from earlier, working out how you could’ve counteracted them. Your mind was fixated on Bucky with each swing unable to get him out of your head, it was quite furious how much of an effect he already had on you. You stayed there for two hours before eventually calling it quits for the day.

The next day you went to train early, knowing that Bucky would be there. After spotting him you set your things down by the bench, striding up to him with both hands behind your back while he continued letting the punching bag have it. “Steve’s not here,” is all he said without sparing a look.

“I know. I’m here because I want a rematch.”

He was first confused, then intrigued before ultimately agreeing, which is how you found yourself going head to head against Bucky again. But this time you were ready. Surprisingly you dodged his hits, which he seemed slightly surprised for. But it wasn’t until you found an opening and gave him a hit of your own, fist making contact with his face that he actually looked surprised.

Quickly recovering he brings his hands closer protecting his face immediately upping the level.

You two go back and forth, each taking swings and dodging them. Eventually you catch him off guard, swinging your body around him, knocking his legs over in the process which ultimately brings him down against the mat and you get on top of him. Legs straddling his waist you bring your forearm against his neck holding him down.

“What is this a way to get back at me?” He asks from his spot on the floor. “No…this is my way of apologizing.”

Bucky’s expression shifts into a puzzled one as you crawl off from his body and slide to the side. “You were right with the whole thing about yesterday. I shouldn’t have said something so inconsiderate. I also shouldn’t have entered your mind in the first place, that was wrong of me. So I’m sorry.”

You honestly don’t expect him to forgive you or for him to let his walls down again.

Bucky on the other hand doesn’t know what to say, it feels like he’s been doing the apologizing lately that it’s been so long and rare since he himself received one. But it felt…good?

He cleared his throat, awkwardly taking in the confession. “You’ve been practicing,” he ultimately said, hoisting himself up from the ground. “But you got lucky with that last take down, let’s go again,” he said and you couldn’t stop a wide grin from stretching on your face as you hastily got up from your spot on the ground before you stood up across from him.

After that there was a change. It wasn’t huge but it was noticeable. You two began sparring more, him giving you new tricks and techniques. Sam even brought it to your attention once, joking about how close the two of you have suddenly become. But you simply brushed his words off.

One day after training, you two were on the bench together, guzzling down water after an intense round, when he suddenly brought up your abilities.

“You have powers,” he said matter of factly, taking a slight pause afterwards, and you weren’t sure if he was telling you or asking you.

“Yes?”

“If you could just use them, why even learn to fight?”

You grin at the question you’ve heard before, “sorry. That’s just the exact same question Steve asked me when I asked him to teach me.”

It was moments like those that reminded you of how close they were.

“When I use my powers, it’s an advantage to me,” you say and he nods motioning for you to continue, “but if I were to ever go against someone who didn’t have powers, it would be unfair to them,” your head tilted realizing how silly you must sound. “I mean they’re usually a bad guy so it shouldn’t matter,” your eyes drift down to your hands that lay open in your lap, “but fighting someone who doesn’t have any abilities or mutations with my own unfair advantage just doesn’t sit right with me.”

Bucky could see how it would feel that way, and honestly he thought it was creditable how you kept others in mind, even if they didn’t deserve it. But his face quickly contorted again.

“Then why’d you use it on me?”

The question was so simple, so plain, but you didn’t really have an answer. You thought back to that day, why did you go into his memories?

“I guess…it was to see if you were telling the truth? Hearing stories about you and what happened…I got curious. I just wanted to see what type of person you were.”

Your eyes still fixated on your hands, you didn’t notice him turning towards you. “And what type of person was I?”

“…” You had to think about it for a moment, recalling the things you saw. “Misunderstood.”

The moment you said the word, Bucky felt light. His chest rose as he took a deep inhale, suddenly in the need for air, before letting it out. He didn’t know why but it felt good talking to you, knowing that you had acknowledged him in a way that most people didn’t at the time.

Bucky didn’t know it yet, but this was the moment his gates would fall for you.

118 notes · View notes

marinerainbow · 1 year

Text

OC x Canon analysis under the cut.

One of the reasons I love Pocho is because of how opposites they are. Especially in how selfish Poppy and Psycho are.

For Poppy, she isn't. She's selfless to a fault. Even in a way that's toxic to her own self; she would just stand there and let someone verbally abuse her in hopes they're at least letting off steam. She would- and has- stepped in the middle of a conflict just to drag someone out of it who, as far as she knew, didn't deserve to get hurt. And, if she had to, she'd sacrifice herself if it meant someone would live- whether she knew them or not.

She is genuinely a kind and good person. But it mostly stems from the fact that ever since she was created, it had been hammered into her head that she doesn't matter. And, even now, she holds that same value to herself. She feels like she has to have a reason to do things just for herself.

Psycho on the other hand, he is a selfish person. All of the weasels are selfish to varying degrees, and that includes him. The only reason he doesn't jump on people as often as he likes is because he decides it's not worth getting a lecture from Smartass. He'll act out on his impulsive thoughts without a care for how it may affect others, only how it would satisfy him. From small, silly things like biting into the soap bar, to more grim things.

He was mistreated like Poppy. Though unlike her, he decided he wouldn't let others dictate what he can and can't do. To an extent at least, since he still listens to Smartass. That and he's just that kind of guy.

You can even see it in how they both approached falling in love and confessing. Poppy fell for him first, but she didn't say a word. Because she knew he didn't like her back and didn't want to not only make him uncomfortable, but also lose a friend. Psycho however, it took him a long time to catch feelings for Poppy. But when he realized he wanted her, it didn't take him too long before he approached her about it. Even if she said no, he still wanted to get it out that he loved her.

Psycho can't comprehend why Poppy would just sacrifice herself so much. And Poppy doesn't get how he can't think of everyone involved. But they can agree on this; they love each other, no matter what. And they'll do anything for the other.

Poppy still has a hard time doing things for herself. But Psycho just sees this as an opportunity to make her smile. If he sees she wants the last piece of dessert, he insists she has it. And will growl at the others if they try to protest. If he notices she's eyeing a necklace or another piece of jewelry while window shopping, that store is instantly on his list of places to rob. And every time he does anything like this, he looks to her in hopes of gaining her approval. He doesn't want her sad, both out of love and because he prefers her happy.

And on Psycho's end, Poppy is finally able to make him think of others. Well, not all the others, just her. Before, he would have killed the bag boy without a second thought just cause. Now though? He hesitates. Because he knows Poppy wouldn't like it. And if he sees she's trying to mediate a nasty fight, he'll come in, scoop her up, and run out of there with her because he knows that this takes a toll on her. She manages to bring the good within him out, even if the good is only directed towards her.

Poppy has noticed. She sees how important she is to him, and that alone is enough to get her to cry happy tears. Yes, it is partially out of his own wants, but he still wants to make her happy. He still wants to do all this for her and protect her. She isn't used to people wanting these good things for her, and that only makes Psycho even more important to her. And makes her try so hard every day to make him feel just as loved as he makes her feel.

And slowly, Poppy's able to start thinking of herself because of him. At first, it was only because she didn't want Psycho to worry about her, but it started getting easier for her to do things that she needed for herself. From little things like buying that sunhat she's always wanted, to things like keeping out of Smartass' way when he's yelling at the others. Because of Psycho, she's now able to see importance in herself.

Psycho is a selfish toon. And Poppy is a selfless toon. It seems like they would be a toxic match. But it only shows how perfect they are for each other.

#i need something to help get my mind off of some thing and i didnt know what else to do but post this #so that explains the more solemn tone and i apologize if this upsets anyone #Pocho #ships #analysis #OC x Canon #Poppy #my own oc's #my own characters #psycho weasel #toon patrol #WFRR #Who Framed Roger Rabbit #Disney #Disney Villains

14 notes · View notes

jpdoingwords · 9 months

Text

The Hand You Hold

Just finished editing this short for my collection. Kinda like it so thought, why not share early?

[I've changed the title of the collection too - it's now Becoming Something Else. Hopefully for the last time lol]

~~~

How to describe Melda?

I think I have to start with her mum. Everyone called her Mata, and she was a bonafide hippy, a painter and genuinely strange person. She had a habit of staring at herself in the mirror for long stretches of time – even when they had visitors.

She said, when I first went to their place and saw her doing that, that she was an artist ‘searching for her deepest soul’. Melda had just rolled her eyes. Not surprisingly, Melda too was unconventional, and we had an unconventional friendship: we didn't make a lot of demands on each other. Even if I'd been keen to be in her pocket, I'd have had no chance.

She was always busy. She loved sports, watched pretty much all of them, and played many. She took salsa lessons once a week, went swimming every day at the local pool, and did Tai Kwon Do as well; somehow, she squeezed all this around studying full time. I have no idea how she did it.

She was a total extrovert. She could, and did, talk to anyone and everyone. She could never just stand in line for the bus, or walk through the checkouts at Woolies; she had to have a conversation with anyone who made eye contact, whether they wanted to talk to her or not. A remarkable number of people would start off surly but end up chatting happily to her anyway; and everyone remembered her, even the checkout chicks, who saw a thousand faces a day. Back then, I never stopped being amazed by the things she remembered about these virtual strangers. If they had kids, she knew how old it or they were, their names and birthdays; ditto for their dogs; if they'd crashed their car, moved house, got married, engaged, had a birthday, changed jobs. Anything and everything.

In stark contrast, I rarely left my room, except to attend lectures and tutorials, and to eat in the central café. I often wondered why Melda bothered with me, after we met in class during our first semester. She’d just chosen me, and I went along with it.

It was a hot, summer afternoon at my study desk when I remembered that I was supposed to be meeting her at the campus Tavern. I wished I hadn't agreed to go, but it was too late to back out by then, so I reluctantly left my air-conditioned room and hurried across the burning tarmac towards the shade of the trees in the main quadrangle.

Aside from hating the heat, I was also keeping a low profile because one of the girls who lived in the same block as me, Amy, was on my case about donating to the 'campus social fund.' She liked to say that the proceeds were used to pay guest lecturers to speak and such; but I knew it mostly financed student parties. I'd never been to one of those parties and had no intention of ever going, so I saw no reason why I should feel obligated to donate. Amy fervently disagreed with my stance. As I made it to the relative safety of the trees, I saw Melda through the window of the Tavern. She waved, but even at that distance I could see that she was unhappy about something. I went in and took a seat across from her. She had a drink ready for me, which she slid across the table. She was already halfway through her own. 'What is it?' 'John.' That was her long-term boyfriend. 'What's happened?' 'He's been weird the last few days – kinda distant. I asked him what’s wrong, and he said that he feels like an accessory in my life. I told him that’s not true, but he says he feels like he never sees me, and when he does, I’m always distracted.' I understood his position to some extent. Though her unavailability had never bothered me, if I'd been a different kind of person, I could see how that might bother someone. I didn't say that though. 'But you guys go on date nights all the time?' 'Not enough, apparently. We were meant to be going to the cricket on Saturday, just to watch his old team play, but now he says he's not going. I suppose I have to give it a miss, too.' 'Why?' 'He’s made me feel like shit about it.' She sighed. ‘It’s annoying. I wanted to catch up with the girls while I was there.’ I felt bad for her. It wasn’t her fault that she was who she was, and I thought that John was an asshole for making her feel that way. She didn’t choose to be outgoing, that was just how she was made.

I didn’t say that either, though; instead, I suggested, 'I could go with you, if you like?' She stared at me. 'Really? You'll hate it.' 'I'll take a book.' 'You never know - you might get into it,' she said optimistically. That idea was ridiculous, but I'd committed to going, so I tried muster some enthusiasm. 'I have no idea how cricket works.' Melda smiled. 'I'll explain everything. Another drink?' 'Sure,' I said, just glad that she’d cheered up.

***

When Saturday arrived, I prised my eyes open at eleven. I was looking forward to spending the day in bed, and maybe doing a little work on an essay in the afternoon if I could be bothered, but of course – I was going to the cricket. I groaned.

I really didn't want to, but I knew better than to say so to Melda when she arrived. Even if I hadn't thought it was shitty to be a flake, she'd never have let me get away with it, anyway.

Melda had a dodgy old car which ran on prayers and the smell of an oily rag. It made a weird and probably dangerous thumping sound when it reached speeds above eighty. The car was as much a part of our friendship as if it was sedentary.

That morning I wished it really was alive; then it could’ve escorted my overly upbeat friend to the cricket without me.

I was relieved when we reached the ground and I found an area of lawn beneath huge eucalypts where I could stretch out on the grass.

For the first couple of hours of the game, I paid very little attention to the cricket, but eventually, I put the book down and sat up, stretching my back.

I'd have laid back down again, but I was distracted by a situation near the clubhouse. A girl, who was perhaps eighteen but probably younger, very made-up and very confident, was flirting outrageously with a guy who at a glance I took to be at least a few years older than her. They were far enough away that I couldn’t hear what was being said, but he was looking away from her, scowling.

Behind her back, and facing me at an angle, there were three guys who were also watching what was going on. Two of them were laughing between themselves, while the third was slowly shaking his head, his face serious. He must’ve sensed me looking, because he turned and caught my eye. I flushed in embarrassment and snapped my attention back to the field, mortified. When I looked back again, the whole tableaux had shifted, and the serious guy was gone.

I sighed without realising I’d done it, and Melda, who’d been chatting with one of the women behind us, asked, ‘Are you bored?' 'No,’ I said reassuringly.

She gave me a suspicious look. 'I'm watching you.' I snorted. 'Well, that'll bore you.' I allowed my eyes to wander – I wasn’t looking for the guy, I swear, but I found him anyway. He was standing on the boundary line, so I had a chance to get a decent look at him then.

He was dressed in whites, with a bat in one hand and his helmet in the other – padded up, as Melda would say. He was tall, broad shouldered and slim, blonde with a bit of stubble on his face. Good-looking, in my opinion. A few minutes later, one of the batsmen already on the field was caught out, and he took to the field. I didn't do anything that I thought was obvious, besides actually watching the game for the five minutes he was playing, before he too got caught out. As he walked off the field and disappeared into the changerooms, I settled back and took up my book. I'd just opened it when Melda said knowingly, 'Ahh, I see.' I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

'What?' 'You were checking out Maddox.' 'Mad Ox? Interesting nickname.' 'That's his surname,' she said, spelling it out, before adding, 'He's the team hottie. I was tempted myself, before John; but he has a long-term girlfriend.' She gave me a mock-evil smile. 'I'll introduce you, if you want?' I scoffed. 'Don't you dare.' Melda chuckled before turning back to the woman she'd been speaking to, leaving me to my book.

***

One afternoon a few weeks later, I set out for the city centre. I was in particular need of new music which, in the days before the push of a button delivered every conceivable song to your mobile devices, entailed an expedition. I had wide ranging taste, and I could never get what I was looking for at the local shopping centre. There was one particular store in the CBD where everyone went. They had almost any album you could imagine. I was standing on the platform at the traino, oblivious to everything beyond the book I was reading, when someone put their hands on my shoulders from behind.

I spun around, prepared to use the self-defence moves I'd been taught in a one-day course back in high school, but thankfully it was just Melda. 'You're a prime target for a mugging.' 'I worry that you've thought about that,' I said lightly as I slipped my book into my bag. 'Well, if all goes to wrack and ruin, it's good to have a backup plan.' She grinned before adding, 'What are you doing anyway, other than reading Eliot?' 'Going into the city for new tunes.' 'Nice. I've got to buy a dress for a wedding I'm going to. I'll come with you, if you'll come and offer an opinion on the dress?' 'I don't know how useful I'll be, but sure. Why not?' She asked, 'What's on your wish list?' 'I've been searching for a CD copy of that Eartha Kitt record I have for ages without any luck; and I could always do with more Talking Heads… but maybe something completely different – techno, or hip hop. There’re a few options.' She smiled. 'It's good to keep it diverse.'

The store was in one of the pedestrian malls, and filled three storeys. We stepped off the escalator on the second floor, where I made a beeline towards easy listening and was soon up to my elbows in Frank Sinatra and Roy Orbison. I was reading the track listing of a CD when a voice caught my attention.

Glancing up then swiftly down again, I saw Maddox was in the alternative section, with a girl who I assumed was his girlfriend. She was pretty, with one of those faces that I’ve always thought of as kind – gentle lines, an easy smile. A minute later, Melda came over to me.

'Have you found it?' 'Nah – but look who's here.' I nodded in their direction. She grinned and ducked around the racks, heading for where they were standing. 'Hey Maddox!' He looked over, and for a moment I saw him hesitate, before saying coolly, 'Melda. How's things?' ‘Aw yeah, all good,’ before adding, ‘Hi, Susie.' She said, ‘Hey,’ quietly.

Meanwhile, I was sidling off towards the dance section, further away, hoping Melda would forget I was there, but no such luck.

'Hey Deanna - come here a minute.' I was tempted to pretend I couldn't hear her, but I resigned myself. She would just pursue me across the store if I did – it’d happened before. When I reached them, Melda said to Maddox, 'This is Deanna. She's my friend from uni.' Maddox smiled at me.

'Hey Deanna. We've met before, haven't we?' Up close, I saw that his eyes were very green. I had to remind myself to look respectfully. I shook my head, feeling shy. 'I was at the cricket a few weeks back, though.'

'That’s right. You witnessed Dan Michaels getting flirted at.' There was something about him that made me relax. I guess it was just that he was so casual, and it was contagious. I shook my head a little.

'He looked so awkward about it, I felt sorry for him. And those other two, just laughing about it.' I shook my head again. He replied seriously, ‘That girl’s only sixteen you know. Same age as my sister. I’ve tried to tell her it’s not a good look, but she keeps coming back regardless.’ He paused before saying, ‘This is Susie by the way - my girlfriend.’ He glanced at Melda as he said it.

‘Good to meet you,’ I said to Susie.

She smiled back. ‘You too.’

Maddox asked me, 'What did you think of the game, though?' 'I can’t lie - I’m not into sports. I had no clue what was going on.'

Melda had been remarkably quiet; I looked at her to back me up, and found she’d zoned out, staring into space. She snapped out of it when I looked at her though, and put on an easy smile.

‘She’s not lying. I explained the rules, but she didn’t take any of them in.’ That wasn’t entirely true, but I didn’t argue.

Maddox chuckled as he looked back at me.

'You seriously never played cricket? Not even in school?' 'Hell, no. I'd rather be reading.'

Susie smiled. ‘I’m just the same. Only fools run around for “fun” in the middle of summer.’

‘Exactly,’ I agreed with a chuckle.

Susie turned to Maddox. ‘We should really get going. Mum’ll be waiting.’

‘Yeah, you’re right.’ He said cheerfully to me, ‘Good meeting you, Deanna.’ Almost as an afterthought, he added, ‘Seeya, Melda.’ We said goodbye, and I turned back to the racks of CDs.

To my surprise, the copy of Eartha Kitt I’d been looking for was right there – in the wrong section and all. I picked it up, and held it up. 'My luck’s in!' That’s when I noticed she was looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes. 'What?' 'What the hell was that? Or should I say, who the hell was that?' Puzzled, I said, 'I don't know what you mean?' 'Yes, you do! I've known you for two years, and never - not once - have you spoken to a male, of any description.' ‘That’s not true,’ I said, offended. ‘I talk to people in my classes all the time.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘You know what I mean – one’s that you think are attractive.’

‘Even if that was true, which it’s not, it’s not like they start conversations with me, either.' Her tone irritated me, and I thought uncharitably that she only believed that because I couldn’t get a word in edge-ways when she was around.

I went to pay, setting the CD on the counter. Melda followed, saying, ‘'What happened at the cricket that you didn't tell me about?' The clerk serving me caught my eye as I gave her the cash, then looked at Melda and back again as she handed me the change with a sympathetic look.

I rolled my eyes, then thanked her as she handed me the bag. Once we were outside, I said, 'I was just watching some guy getting hit on by a young girl, and in the background two of his mates were ripping the piss. You know I'm a people watcher. Maddox saw me looking.' I felt resentful having to explain this. Everything felt out of kilter suddenly. ‘It was nothing,’ I said, drawing a line under it.

She accepted that, and we talked about other stuff, but I could tell that something about all that annoyed her.

***

March arrived, and the days slowly became less offensively toasty. Melda had got over whatever it was that’d made her so sulky with me, though it'd taken far longer than I’d expected. I had asked her what it was that’d been bothering her, but she'd just brushed me off, saying she was just feeling moody. That was plausible, because sometimes she’d been like that in the past, but… it didn’t feel the same.

The truth was, something had shifted between us, but neither of us wanted to admit it or try to figure out what it was, so we ignored it; but she was cooler towards me, and I wasn’t as trusting as I’d been. We saw each other less.

It was Thursday, and I'd just left a lecture. There'd been a rain shower while I’d been indoors, so I threw off my shoes and walked on the grass in the quadrangle, enjoying the rainy grass on my feet. Melda found me like that, enjoying the moment. 'What are you doing?' I looked up without hurry, smiling.

'What does it look like?' 'Well, I know what you're doing, but why are you doing it?' 'Your Mata told me it's called earthing. It’s good for the soul.' She just looked at me, one eyebrow raised. I smiled, just happy to be alive. There was no real reason - sometimes the universe is just like that; it grants me – and I’m sure, everyone else too – these moments of joy for no other reason than that I exist. I thought that the effort to explain that would probably destroy the feeling though, so I ignored her pointed look. She settled onto a bench nearby, pulled a sandwich out of her bag and began eating it, while I continued to walk and smile to myself.

When the sandwich was gone, and I'd had enough of getting my wet feet, she asked, 'Do you feel like going for a walk? I'm going to see John – my next class isn't for a couple of hours.' John worked at an office fifteen minutes' drive from the uni, and she knew I had no classes that afternoon. 'I’d never walk that far, even if I'd just won the lottery and I had to so I could claim the cash.' Melda chuckled.

'I was going to drive down to the park and walk from there. That way I'll get my workout in without going swimming this arvo. John says he wants to take me to the movies.' 'OK, I'll come. No canoodling in front of me, though.' She shook her head with a faint smile. 'I promise.'

We met John outside his office, and while they talked, I went across the street to a café – well, I say they talked, but from what I could see through the window, John ate, while Melda did all the talking. As I drank a coffee, I was thinking disconsolately about the essay I had waiting for me back in my room. It was grim: thirty thousand words on Joyce’s Ulysses - gods.

Eventually I zoned out, looking unseeingly at two men on scaffolding above. They were cleaning the windows of the multi-storey building which stood at right angles to the cafe. I couldn’t see their faces through the distortions of the glass, but one of them was older and bald, the other was younger and blonde; both of them seemed to be completely unconcerned about the height at which they were working.

I couldn't even imagine climbing that high, never mind moving around while I was up there like it was nothing at all. The first gust of wind and I'd be clinging to the railing for dear life - crying, probably. Melda and John had stood up, presumably saying goodbye, so I went to wait for Melda on the sidewalk. 'Deanna?' The voice came from above, and looking up, I saw that the blonde window washer was Maddox. 'Are you stalking me?' The words were out before I thought them through, and I flushed. He just laughed though, and shimmied down the ladder.

I shook my head, and he raised an eyebrow at me. 'I don't like heights,' I explained while I pretended I wasn’t flushing. 'You get used to it,' he said. 'What are you doing here?' I pointed across the road, where John had already moved halfway into the building, while Melda went on talking. John’s arms were crossed firmly. He wasn’t smiling. 'Waiting on the lovebirds,' I said dryly. He looked, pondered them a moment, then said, ‘I think she said you go to the same uni?' 'That's right.' 'One of my mates goes there,' he said. 'He’s studying engineering.' 'Oh, he's one of those.’ He laughed. 'He really is. What are you doing?' 'Arts, English major.' I know I didn’t sound very enthusiastic - the spectre of that Joyce essay was looming over me. He didn’t notice though. Melda was preparing to cross the road and he began moving away.

'I better go. We do this building every Thursday, and the owners are tyrants about quick completion.' He smiled, gesturing up to where the older man was leaning against the railing looking down at them impatiently. 'He'll be on my case as it is. It was good seeing you.' I smiled back. ‘Good to...’

Melda had reached us, and talked over me. 'I didn't expect to see you here, Maddox.' He'd already begun climbing the ladder, and said over his shoulder without turning back, 'Gotta go where the work takes me.'

Melda and I went back in the direction of the park, and we hadn't got very far before she said with a certain brittleness in her voice, 'Must be your lucky day, bumping into Prince Charming again.' I searched her face, wondering where the attitude was coming from. I put it down to the conversation she'd just had with her boyfriend. 'What's going on? John looked a bit sulky.' She said dismissively, 'John's fine. He's just having a moment.' ‘A moment?’

‘Reckons he heard some bullshit rumour about me. I put his mind at ease.’

‘What rumour?’

‘Oh,’ she waved a hand dismissively. ‘The usual thing where I talk to a guy, and onlookers just assume I’m hitting on them so they go tell John I’m cheating, or trying to. You know how it goes.’

It hadn’t happened since we’d been friends, but perhaps it had before we met.

‘Who are you supposed to be cheating with?’

She waved the hand again. ‘Oh, just some guy. You don’t know him.’

She began talking about something else then, and I let it go. She’d tell me if she wanted to. I wasn’t one to push for confidences.

***

I went back to the café the next Thursday, telling myself it had nothing to do with Maddox, but of course it did.

As I walked towards the café from the bus-stop, I anxiously asked myself what I was doing, and the honest answer was that I didn’t know.

Yes, he was attractive, but from what I’d seen of him, he also seemed like a nice person – and at least half my interest was simple curiosity about who he was.

Perhaps I was wrong to act as I did, but at the time, it seemed right.

When Maddox and the older guy had finished work, and the scaf was back on the truck, he came in to buy himself a coffee. He said hi then loitered casually near my table while he waited for his order to be prepared.

He thankfully acted as though he didn't realise I'd come to see him, though of course, he must've known; and afterwards, I realised that he'd probably deliberately mentioned that he’d be there so I’d come back. 'This your new local?' I shrugged, and was about to reply when I saw the old guy drive away in the scaf truck. 'I hope you weren't expecting a ride?' He glanced where I pointed and smiled absently. 'Nah, one of the boys in picking me up to take me to training.’ He hesitated before saying, ‘We had a corker of a wind-up on Saturday. I expected to see you there.' He avoided looking at me as he said it. I could feel my neck and ears turning red, but I said as coolly as I could muster, 'I don't go to those kinds of things – not my cup of tea. I'm sure Melda was in fine form, though.'

'Yeah, you could say that.' He paused, hesitating. ‘She had quite a lot to say about you.' That surprised me. 'She did?' He nodded. The barista called his name then, and he went to collect his coffee before coming back. He pulled out the chair opposite mine, and perched on the edge, like he was ready to spring away at any moment. It must be quite a thing to be that athletic, I thought abstractly. 'What did she say?' I asked, trying to keep my voice casual, but I think I probably sounded anxious. I certainly felt anxious. 'I know she’s your friend, but I don't like back-stabbing, and the things she said about you...’ He grunted in annoyance, pressing the coffee type tabs in on his cup, one after the other. 'She’s a piece of work.’ I'd been watching him warily. I wondered whether I really wanted to hear whatever he was going to say. I had no way of knowing whether it would be true or not; but I decided that I should hear him out. 'What did she say?' I repeated, sounding more apprehensive than before. He took a deep breath.

'She said you're super weird – needy and a bit desperate. She warned me away from you, said I could do better.' He shook his head, muttering, ‘As if she knows anything about me.’ I felt the words like a punch to the chest. She'd called me weird to my face before, but always in a playful way, so I’d thought she was only joking. The desperate and needy really hurt though, because it simply wasn’t true; but it wasn’t a struggle to imagine her saying it – and who knew how much more there’d been, knowing what she was like when she’d been drinking. Into the weighted silence, I said, 'You said she was warning you away from me? Why?' He was still looking down at his cup. 'I asked.'

‘You… oh.’ My face was burning. 'But you have a girlfriend…?’

He interrupted, catching my eye a moment as he said, ‘Had.’ He looked at the cup again.

I couldn’t stop myself asking, ‘What happened?'

He shook his head slowly.

'Has Melda ever told you about me and her?' 'No, not really.' She'd only mentioned that she'd found him hot before she got with John, but I wasn't going to say that to his face. 'Why am I not surprised?' He took a drink before continuing. ‘Ever since she’s been around, she’s tried it on with me. At first, she was dating a friend of mine, Pete - that’s how she got involved with the club in the first place. She used to hit on me openly, in front of him, then when he’d get pissed off, she’d say she was only joking.’ He shook his head, looking out the window. ‘I’ve knocked her back at least a dozen times, I reckon. She really only backed off when Susie came into the picture.’ He looked at me then. ‘Last month, after I saw you guys in the city, that Saturday, she came to the club and had another crack.’ I frowned. 'Another crack?’ 'Got drunk and was all over me, even though Susie was there, and she lost it. Melda and her had a bit of a scuffle.' He sighed, and added, ‘Things between Susie and I were going badly anyway. This was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.’ Leaning back in my chair, I let out a long breath.

I wanted to believe he was lying, but I didn’t. It fit too well with what I did know. She usually told me when she’d been to the club - the fact that she hadn’t mentioned it at all was telling. Then there’d been that ‘rumour’ that’d upset John, which she’d brushed off; and other smaller hints, too… Her moodiness and coolness towards me in the previous months felt like the final seal on what was probably the truth. He was watching my face closely, and when I met his eye, he looked like he was about to say something; but the door opened then, and glancing up, he recognised the guy that'd come in. He stood, and pushed his chair in.

'Here's Pauly. I better go.' He hesitated a moment longer. 'Sorry to tell you all this.'

'It’s better that I know,' I said reassuringly, even though I felt sick. 'Even if it sucks.' He rested a warm hand on my shoulder, pausing a moment before asking tentatively, 'I'll see you around?'

Even with such a lot of difficult thoughts whirring in my brain, I had butterflies at the question, the slightly anxious smile. I smiled back.

‘Same time, same place?’

‘Alright.’

After he was gone, I sat for a long time staring at my fingers curled around the cup in front of me, trying to process everything. I felt devastatingly hurt. I’d been more open with Melda than I was with most people. She understood me, or I’d believed she did – but I’d clearly been wrong. That she’d tried to sabotage the potential relationship out of sheer jealousy was breathtaking in its cruelty. If she’d talked to me about her feelings towards Maddox, I’d have respected them; but the way she’d acted, the things she’d said… I simply couldn’t forgive it.

Still, a part of me insisted I seek out confirmation that what he’d said was true, beyond his words and my own thoughts. So I waited, and left the café in time to intercept John as he left his work.

***

I was in my room working on the final draft of that wretched Joyce essay a couple of days later when there was a knock on my door. I recognised Melda’s knock. She'd tried to call twice, but I hadn’t answered. What was there to say? She said jokingly, 'I know you're in there. I can hear your music.' I didn't answer. 'I'm starting to think you're avoiding me. I know I've been a moody bitch lately, but you know how I am.' 'Do I really, Melda?' 'Are you having an existential crisis in there? Do we need to get you to the Tavern and out of your own head?' 'Nope. I’m perfectly fine,' I replied. It was only a half-lie. 'Are you going to open the door, or are you going to make me stand out here all afternoon?' 'If you want to stand out there all day, that's your business.' She finally twigged that I was serious. I could hear the frown in her voice. 'What's going on?' 'You tell me. Have you got something to say to me?' 'No.’ 'Yeah – it is easier to say things behind my back instead, isn’t it? Then you can just go on pretending we're friends to my face.' There was a pause before she asked, 'Who have you been talking to?’

I closed my eyes for a moment. It was an admission.

She continued, ‘I suppose it’s Maddox. So much for sisters before misters.’

‘How dare you say that to me when your knives are still in my back?’

I could hear the eyeroll in her voice.

‘Stop being so melodramatic. I never said anything about you.’

‘So when he asked you about me, you just said nothing? Righto. That sounds just like you.’

‘You know I meant I haven’t said anything negative. I only told him good things – he just hates me, so he’s twisted it around, hoping you’ll hate me, too.’

‘Interesting way to get with someone you like – break up one of her friendships first. Quite the opening salvo.’

That prodded at her jealousy, as I’d suspected it would. The brittleness was back in her voice.

‘Says a lot for the person he is, doesn’t it? That he’d just lie to get what he wants.’

I sighed. ‘It would – if he’d lied; but John confirmed what he told me. I suppose he hates you too, does he?’

There was a lengthy silence. She must’ve known the jig was up. When she spoke again, her voice was flat.

‘So – what. We aren’t friends anymore?’

‘No,’ I confirmed.

She said with derision, ‘I don’t need you anyway.’

At some point, when I made no reply, she walked away; though I didn’t hear her go.

~~~

Contents page of the Collection

#jpdoingwords #BecomingSomethingElse #short story #original fiction #contemporary fiction #failing friendships #the title is from an Everclear quote #you were blind to the fact that the hand you hold #is the hand that holds you down #wip wednesday

7 notes · View notes