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foxes-that-run · 7 months

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Perfect

Zayn said he wouldn’t buy the record when he heard Perfect (so salty!). Harry's emotions varied performing it in its short 27 performance run from Oct-Dec when 1D ended. These 2 stand out:

November 20 2015, rather than sing the Bridge Harry said to the crowd "if you think it's so funny you can sing it".

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3 days later at the AMAs he rolls his eyes and looks ready to walk out, the camera cuts to a kid who seems to agree. (Bridge is 2:40).

It was only performed 6 more times, in Carpool Karaoke (10:30) Harry stops singing for parts and the song cuts before the bridge, at the Jingle ball he looks away and the last time was new years.

Or this concert he put the mike into the crowd, someone stole the microphone and licked it.

Safe to say he regretted that bridge, it's savage to them both.

Writers

Perfect ties with Fools Gold for the title of the Haylor song with the most writers, at 7. While Fools Gold has all 5 of the band, Bunetta and Ryan. Harry and Louis are the only band members who worked on Perfect with Bunetta, Ryan and 3 others:

Jesse Shatkin, (cowrote Sia's Chandelier)

Jacob Kasher (Maroon 5 collaborator), and

Mozella (cowrote Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball and Fools Gold.)

To me, Perfect has more media grabbing pop-song than Harry Styles. HS’s best 1D work was with teams of 3 or 4 writers. In fact, Bunetta said Olivia came out in 45 minutes while overworking another "less good" MITAM song.

Timeline

Bunetta also told Rolling Stone about Perfect:

"That one took a long time, just because it was written over a couple different continents. It started as one thing and ended up where it is."

MITAM was made in the summer of 2015. To have been written in a couple of continents and with USA based writers it was probably either side of the BBMAs. It could have been started 'as one thing' in April in South Africa before the BBMAs other songs that reference Style including Two Ghosts started early in the year. The "ended up where it is" with those writers would be after the BBMAs, when they got back to the USA from July. This would be at the end of the album and he was singing it daily within 3 months.

Similarity to Taylors songs

It has the same chord progressions as Style and is also very similar to out of the woods as this video on Twitter shows. He called it a love song in the made in the AM interview (6 mins) and that it wasn’t literal in another. I do love this James Cordon bit and I love his Taylor smile so much.

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Lyrics

[Verse 1: Louis] I might never be your knight in shinin' armour I might never be the one you take home to mother And I might never be the one who brings you flowers But I can be the one, be the one tonight

Grapejuice, has the perfect (get it) call back to this verse, along with 'Red' and 'Pay for it' and I love him for it:

"I was on my way to buy some flowers for you (ooh) / Thought that we could hide away in a corner of the heath / There's never been someone who's so perfect for me / But I got over it and I said / "Give me somethin' old and red" / I pay for it more than I did back then"

[Pre-Chorus: Liam] When I first saw you from across the room I could tell that you were curious, oh, yeah Girl, I hope you're sure what you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises

Promises come up again in Woman "Promises are broken like a stitches is", which is interesting if both Woman and part of Perfect are written after the 2015 BBMAs.

‘Know what you are looking for’ is interesting. In "Say don't go" and the 1989 TV Vaults in general Taylor did not get what she was looking for. At 23, dating a 19 year old Taylor told us she didn’t get wavy she needed. Her most recent ex, JG was 29. (yes - JG was the age Harry is now! Imagine if he did that) So I kind of stand by this line.

The start refers to the night they met. Which neither has ever confirmed, I think it was in 2011 (see timeline) Many look at the coat he tries on in the music video, which matches both his Up All Night Tour outfit (from December 2011) and the 2012 Kids Choice Awards. The awards are fun though. The Up All Night DVD also has it.

[Verse 2: Niall] I might never be the hands you put your heart in Or the arms that hold you any time you want them But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

Urgh I choose to attribute 'love from time to time' to one of the 6 other people writing this. To me this line always sounds like a boy-band heartthrob priority playing out in the writers room. No wonder it took time and HS1 to overcome this.

However, this does speak to a theme of them not being available to each other because of their careers and 1D punishing schedule. If I could fly's "I'm missing half of me when we're apart" and Half the World Aways " So you're not my girlfriend / Don't pretend that makes us nothing / Tell me you don't miss this feeling" speaks more honestly to the interplay of his band image, schedules and priorities which Taylor referred to Suburban Legends.

[Chorus: Harry, All] But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do Then, baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like goin' places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreamin' about Then, baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

Here are Haylor themes we know and love, Driving at midnight (Style, HYGTG, Wish You Would) generally going from a high schooler to superstar overnight (placed they can’t pronounce like Cannes), and hidden love/hiding (I Know Places, Slut!)

[Bridge: Harry] And if you like cameras flashin' every time we go out Oh, yeah And if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about Then baby, I'm perfect And baby, we're perfect

The camera’s flashing is good imagery and his voice brings to life how personally challenging it was for them both in a way I Know Places didn't with very few words. Taylor also refers to this imagery in Is it over now?

But the break up songs is a low blow and I assume the part he regretted to the point of not wanting to sing it. In a later interview Harry said:

“The only time you really think, ’is this song too personal?’ is if you think about, ‘is this going to be really annoying for the other person?’ Because I do [care],” he finished.

Which I think the break up song line would have been very annoying.

If you made it through that reward yourself with Grapejuice at Wembley 🍇

#one direction #harry styles #haylor #Youtube #one direction haylor

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hospitalterrorizer · 8 months

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diary25

9/29-30/2023

late night, tonight.

i was out super late after this very bad poetry reading here for some of these creative writing majors. i don't have a lot to say about it, it was bad and the writers make some people close to me miserable because they fail at being kind basically. kind in a real way, the kindness that lets you have some give for meanness when you actually articulate/show effort put towards anyone else, people who are utterly shallow, you know. i believe it must be the case that we all know of people like that essentially.

i didn't get to work on music today really, that's kind of good, tomorrow i will try to write some stuff, i did work on music actually i guess, i wrote a riff, and i'll see where that can take me, or less writing the riff, i wrote some chords to mess with. a fun shape that has a good sound, disso and freaky when inverted.

anyways tonight was good, or like, half good. it's given me a lot to think about, with people who do certain things (like 'ethical' nonmonogamy and if that can exist when the presupposition is monogamy in the first place). i met new people who i like, who are really nice and fun to be around, who got drunk and told me dirt about some old people i knew. or really, one person. that doofus from the noise band, actually. i don't mind saying that. i won't discuss the dirt. it just kind of makes me feel something sad, about people like that, and i guess at large people who in some sense resemble the poets, shallow engagement and deeply troubled ideas of what being an artist means leading to difficult lives, miseries that begin loud and only grow quieter, never actually dissipating.

my gf really wanted to take me to this, the reading and the afterparty, she and a friend really wanted to hear my thoughts on these people because supposedly i'm very funny about that kind of thing, she forgot i guess the bore of the poetry, and the fact that as time goes on, the ruin of these lives is exposed more and more, rich (really i don't actually know, it's the impression i get) developing bad habits and using people, and the drama, while never uninteresting to someone like me (maybe it makes me evil to want to hear), is always sad.

sometimes i am like a child and i just wish everyone could be okay and fine, i'd sometimes light myself on fire to make that possible, but someone i used to be obsessed with told me that me wanting to be jesus or buddha (he said both) so bad wouldn't do anything for anyone except feed how badly i like to see myself hurt. he's right. i guess that's what knowing things does too.

maybe my whole life i'm just going to be hurting myself in new ways.

so i made 3 new friends, or 4, let me count, yeah, 4, i think. and i actually saw 2 friends i knew before tonight, and i was with my one girl friend. so 7 people, i'm gonna see some tomorrow at a gay bar to see a drag show, super exciting stuff. hopefully there won't be any pangs of sadness over the fact we are living in hell sort of.

i guess everybody has really unpleasant fascinations sometimes.

one conversation tonight, one of the new friends told me about her research topic, modern apocalyptic media and its convergence with evangelical christianity, just talking about all that stuff and its evolving state, the dwindling numbers of evangelicals and their panic, her past, and stuff. i liked that. i liked all of tonight, even the sadder parts.

i'm listening to the song theory on sex as an art form, by camera obscura, on repeat. a really great track, it's just so perfect, i love the synth-y punky part especially, but i guess it's also perfect next to a perfect melodic release, this movement that recalls something tumbling downhill, or leaves off petals, while the first part is this total mania.

anyways i am exhausted now, and tomorrow is another day of socializing and stuff.

had an awful thought, or not awful, i dunno. someone posted the song absent friend by bark psychosis, a song that takes me to two specific moments in my life. one was when i'd listen to this song, thinking about the man i loved who would disappear without a word because he was awful, and i'd lay in bed without anyone to talk to, and the second place, is years later, when a friend who loved this record to bits, killed himself, and the song was so pointed, it felt like it said something. the night i found out i walked around and listened to this song.

both times, the lyric "that's the biggest joke of all" took on pretty different meanings. right now it means something else i guess.

the awful thought was about my dead friend rather than the friend who is dead to me. my dead friend, the thought was: the most meaningful thing he'd ever do for himself was kill his own self, that's where all the force of his life would end up, and missing him, and not wanting to forget him and wanting other people to know him, all i am left being able to do is revive the corpse he made of himself and tell others, this is what he did, this is his monument and it's an awful one but it is his. i don't know what else to say about it, i'm staving off the wish to tell a stranger in a server about him because they posted this song, all i can say is i guess, beautiful song, one of the best ever, and they won't know how much i mean that. maybe i mean it less because it means such particular things to me, and rather than thinking it's the best song ever, it's just clusters of memory and feeling forever tied to it. whatever, though, that's fine.

anyways, byebye!!!

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imaginemalereader · 3 years

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Anonymous request: Imagine connecting with Loki like a sibling and giving him a stuffed animal as a gift

“And finally, we have [Y/N]. Be nice Loki.” Thor introduced.

“When am I ever not nice brother?”

“From what I’ve heard, it would be easier to count the times you were nice.” You quipped.

“Oh this one’s clever. I like that.” Loki smiled at you. You smiled back. You weren’t sure it was good to get a compliment from the god of mischief, but you were certain it wasn’t a bad thing.

“Loki’s room will be near yours, that is not a problem is it?” Thor asked, pointing down the hallway to what had been a vacant room for a while.

“Shouldn’t be. If I have any problems, he and I can duke it out.”

“You think you can actually challenge me?” Loki asked. He definitely doubted you somewhat, but he also knew that anyone who was staying at the compound had some talent.

“You? In my sleep tough guy.” You retorted.

“I guess we shall just wait and see.” He replied with a wink before continuing on toward his room.

For the rest of the week, you saw quite a bit of Loki. Living in the same hall, you often passed each other and had brief conversations throughout the day. From that first meeting, it was obvious that the two of you clicked. You could exchange jokes and insults easily and came to treat each other like brothers, though he admittedly treated you better than Thor (he at least hadn’t turned into a snake and tried to bite you, yet).

The rest of the Avengers came to, playfully, tease the two of you in meetings because if you weren’t gossiping with each other, you were making funny faces at each other across the room. It was endearing, if a bit distracting. While they were not super thrilled with you growing so close to someone most of them were still hesitant to trust, they were glad that both of you seemed to be fitting in and helping each other adapt to the team.

Not long after Loki told you the story about the snake, you knocked on his door after a day of training.

“Ah, [Y/N], good to see you. Come on in.” He opened the door wider, allowing you to step into the room. He noticed you holding your hands behind your back and stepped in front of you again.

“And just what are you hiding there?” He asked.

You blushed a little bit, worried he would think it was stupid.

“I got this for you, thought you might like it.” You said, bringing your hands forward and revealing the stuffed green snake you had chosen for him.

Loki laughed as he took it.

“It’s a strange gift, isn’t it? Aren’t these often for children?”

“Well, yeah.” You mumbled. “But it’s nice and I thought of you. And I have plenty of my own and I’m not a child.”

Loki knew he had struck a chord with his comments. You looked rather downtrodden now.

“I’m sorry, perhaps I’m still not fully caught up on Midgardian traditions.” He paused to study the snake. “It is very nice, not quite as pretty as I was when I turned into a snake of course, but still pretty good.”

You smiled as he tried to backpedal a bit, making an effort to make you feel better about the gift.

“Well if you see a snake that looks like you, you’ll have to point it out to me.”

Loki could tell you wanted to say more about the gift and waved you further into his room, offering you a seat on his bed.

You sat down next to him, composing your thoughts before continuing to speak.

“I’ve given everyone one, a stuffed animal I mean. Steve has a golden retriever, Clint’s got a chicken, and Natasha a black cat. Stuffed animals are generally for kids, but I never really got them. It, uh, it wasn’t the greatest environment that I grew up in. Getting out and getting to come here, I finally got to get some for myself. And I realized they’re a great comfort to have. So I started to give them to people who I think need the comfort or are a comfort to me. Or both.”

Loki took your words in. He had picked up on the rough childhood through some of your earlier conversations, just little offhanded comments you had made.

But it was your explanation of who got them that really took him aback.

“Which of those categories do I fall into?”

You looked him up and down.

“Seriously?” You asked, slightly teasing. “Both Loki. You seriously need a hug, and probably therapy, but you make me feel happy too. I care about you.”

Loki looked at you, trying to make out if that last sentence was as serious as it sounded. You were smiling at him, but not in that teasing way you so often did. You were smiling at him the way he had smiled at Thor when they were young. You were admiring him, caring about him.

He leaned forward and pulled you into a hug, tightly wrapping his arms around you, the snake still clutched in his hand. You were surprised by the sudden movement but immediately hugged him back, resting your head on his shoulder as he squeezed you closer to him.

He knew you were strong, an Avenger in your own right, but in that moment he knew that there wasn’t a moment he wouldn’t be making sure you were safe. You had accepted him and cared for him and he would be damned if he didn’t do the same for you.

And that little snake was going to be given a place of honor in his room and on missions whenever he thought he could stow it, unknowing that it would be joining a collection of companions who accompanied the Avengers.

#loki x reader #loki imagine #x male reader #x male!reader #male reader #loki x male reader #loki x male!reader #platonic reader #loki x brother!reader #loki x brother reader #avengers imagine #marvel imagine

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rockingrobin69 · 3 years

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Everywhere

1.5k of accidental bonding for my darling @calypsotempete, who asked for prompt 18 from this list: “Will you tell me I’m pretty?”

Well, that was new.

In the general sense, it was probably inevitable; what’s the saying? Everything that can go wrong, will? Of course this was the next natural step, the only plausible progression to Draco’s punishment. First – to be hit with the curse; then, to discover Potter was the one on the other side of the thread; then to spend months trying to break it off, together; then – well, this. To have this. Another string connecting them, far less physical, far more terrible. Draco sucked in his lower lip, averted his gaze and promptly refused to make eye contact. It was bad enough to have Potter in the back of his head. He didn’t need to see him on top of it.

Boy, you’re grumpy today.

Draco jumped at least three feet in the air, or so it felt. Fuck. Are you listening to me?

Kind of have to. Can’t really control it.

“Quit it, Potter. You can use your actual mouth to speak to me, for the love of Merlin.”

“I could, sure, yeah. But why, when I can do –” the next word wasn’t said out loud, rather breathed into the back of his mind, this?

Draco shivered, hot and uncomfortable. “No. Stop it. It’s bad enough that… As though having to be in the same room as you every three hours – as though having to physically touch you – no. Get out of my fucking head.”

That would be hard. See, I’m pretty sure I’ve been in your head ever since school.

It felt odd; wrong, Draco assured himself, but also odd. Fuzzy, somehow. Like stepping into warm water, or – or something less crazy than that. He shook his head and forced some words out without thinking. “However much of a relief it is, seeing you back to your old, insufferable self –”

What, you missed me?

“No, that’s not… it was just entirely frightening when you pretended like you cared. That whole ‘I refuse to go on if it means going without you’ bit was a little much, you know.”

That sucks. I sort of meant it.

“You – come on. Don’t make fun of me, on top of everything. Plus, use your fucking mouth.”

Of course. What on?

“Potter… quit it. This isn’t funny.”

I find it a little funny, actually. This way you have to listen to me. You’ve been trying to ignore me for too long – trying and failing, Draco. Won’t it be better to admit that this thing between us –

“Stop. Stop! I don’t… this isn’t fair.”

You’re right. It’s not. But ignoring me when we had this thing cast on us wasn’t fair either. And you lying to yourself doesn’t strike me as so fair.

“I’m not lying to myself.”

Sure you’re not.

“I’m not.”

Right. That’s why you told that reporter you have no feelings for me.

“I said it because it’s the truth.” Draco’s eyes flickered from the fire to the figure on the sofa. Potter was sitting up, rigid, his face drawn and serious. Draco regretted looking. “Besides, it’s not like you have any feelings for me.”

I don’t? That’s a relief. I thought I made that embarrassing confession last night. I thought I bared my heart to you, and you had the gall to tell me I’m imagining things. I thought I told you I loved you.

Draco’s breathing stuttered for a moment. “You said a lot of things. A lot of mad things. What next? Suddenly I’m not the boy who bullied you for years anymore? I’m not the one who willingly joined a racist cult? Will you tell me I’m a good man, now? Will you tell me I’m pretty, that I’m forgiven, that I’m –”

An idiot. Yeah, I’ll tell you all of it. Is that really why you ran away last night?

“It was…”

Because you think I haven’t forgiven you? Or that I need to? God, Draco. It’s been years. We’ve both been through so much, together and alone. You’re not that person anymore.

“Don’t tell me what I am. Don’t tell me –”

That I love you? But I do. I –

“Get OUT OF MY HEAD!”

He could feel it, Potter snapping out, like a chord being cut. He actually stood up, too, and marched all the way to Draco in the armchair. With a hand under his chin he forced Draco to look at him. “All right, all right. I’m sorry. But you can’t run on me again just because you’re scared. You’re not the coward you used to be, and I’m not… not as strong anymore. I know you have feelings for me too. I know it.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” It was a little hard to keep his resolve, though, when Potter’s eyes were so green and so close. “I’m… you don’t know what you’re asking from me.”

“I know it’s hard.” Potter sighed, then without hesitation, dropped to his knees before Draco. “I know this is a lot. All I’m asking is that instead of running from me, running from yourself – that you face this with me. Together. You’re not alone anymore. Can’t be alone, really, with the bond and all.”

A pang of regret hit Draco’s stomach, cold and hard. “But that’s just the problem. It’s the bond. As soon as it’s lifted you’re going to… and I won’t be able… you say you’re not as strong anymore, but I was never strong. I won’t be able to stand it.”

“Of course you are. You’re so strong. And such an idiot, too. It’s not the bond.”

“It is. You’re not, can’t really be –” Draco didn’t know how to explain it to him, how to make him see, that impossible, loveable fool. That everything he was running away from wasn’t him; that there was nothing in the world Draco wanted more than a chance, a way, but it would never work. The bond forced them together, and however much Potter thinks… Draco can’t let himself fall for, believe in…

Potter’s voice was chiding, but his eyes were kind. “It’s not the bond.”

“It is.” He didn’t want to add, it has to be. But Potter must have heard it anyway.

It’s not the bond. I know what the bond feels like. You know it too; you know all the ins and outs of the science behind it, better than I do. It’s not the bond. It’s you.

Draco turned his face away, unable to keep the whimper. He did learn the theories, read every single word about the bond, but that didn’t take away the doubt, or the pain, or the fear. “Shit, I – Draco, are you crying?”

Don’t you think – don’t you think I’d been waiting to hear these words? Don’t you think I want to believe you?

I don’t know. You never tell me anything. I can’t read your mind. Well… maybe now I can.

Draco half-laughed, half-whined. How can you be sure? Was the main question, the main issue, the thing Draco couldn’t understand. How can you be sure it’s not the bond? That this is what you really want?

Because I know my heart, and it’s yours. Trust me. Please. You don’t have to love me back, just, please, believe how I feel for you is real. That it’s mine.

Draco shook his head, baffled and sad and unbearably excited. It’s too complicated between us. With the bond on top of everything else, we can’t… we can’t.

Potter’s hand came to brush his, and like always, the touch was electric. The bond did nothing to change it. We can do whatever we want. I’m a little past caring what other people think, aren’t you? The bond doesn’t matter. Only you, Draco.

Fuck. Will you stop being so… ugh. This is hard enough.

Potter swallowed. His face was torn between misery and hope. Draco could feel it all the way to his stomach. Do you think – will you do it? Give me a chance? Give us a chance?

Only if you stop looking at me like that.

Like what?

Like… I’m everything.

Potter gave out a shaky laugh. Take my hand. Take my fucking hand, Draco. See? Not so difficult. This is a new step, and I know how much you hate new, but we’ll make it work. Okay? Together.

Together. Draco sighed and squeezed Potter’s hand. His belly was a mess of what he suspected was writhing, simmering joy. All right. Together. You absolute arse.

Potter’s grin could light the whole neighbourhood. Now, was there anywhere in particular you wanted me to use my mouth on, or…?

It certainly was new, and probably inevitable, all taken into account. Not a punishment, but surely the next natural step. Draco closed his eyes; he didn’t need to see in order to know what to do. He had Potter everywhere: in his hands, in his lap, in the back of his head, and in his heart.

#drarry #fic #prompt #accidental bonding #conversations in the back of the head #Italics is Harry and bold is Draco #shenanigans and telepathy #a touch of angst #but like in a pining way #pining Draco #love declarations #RockingRobin69

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perfectlywrongformend3s · 3 years

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Starstruck- Louis Partridge x Reader

Hey! I had a request. that's actually an idea that you can use if you like it :) ok so it can be a louispxreader and the reader is a singer. they meet in a Ceremony and they become friends and maybe after a while they fall for each other and confess? you can change it however you want it. thanks <3

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 2943

Warning: Just lots of fluff

Taglist: @girlincrimson

A/n: Sorry for not getting to you sooner. I am going to try to get out imagines and request as best I can this week. I am booked with work all week this week. Also requests are open.

I changed a little bit of it, but most of it is still the same as you requested.

P.s The songs that I will be using are not mine, they belong with the talented writers and their respectful owners.

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Your POV

I was in my dressing room waiting to be called to go on stage when I got a notification from instagram. I saw that the actor Louis Partridge followed me. I decided to do some stalking and found some really interesting photos and pictures of him. While I was looking at this one photo of him getting his makeup done I accidentally liked the photo. I then immediately started panicking, because I didn't mean to like it. Before I could do anything about it, I was called to go on stage.

I grabbed my guitar and slowly made my way up to the front of the stage. I could feel the excited energy rising off the fans that came to the show tonight. I felt a smirk form on my face when the lights came on. I heard all the fans start screaming, which made me let out a little giggle into the microphone.

“ How is everyone doing tonight!” I shouted into the mic

I laughed at how everyone was screaming again. I decided to start off with my most popular song right now. I started playing the chords to my song ‘ Good 4 you’

“ Ah. Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks. Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world? (Ah-ah-ah-ah)”

I then made the crowd sing along with me.

“ Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy. Not me. If you ever cared to ask.”

I let the crowd scream the lyrics while I continued to play the guitar. I then grabbed the microphone and screamed..

“ Well, good for you, I guess you’re gettin’ everything you want. (Ah) You brought a new car and your career’s really takin’ off (Ah) It’s like we never even happened.”

While singing, I walked up the front and held the microphone close to them and let them scream the lyrics.

I then jumped in with them.

“ Person who ever got you? Well, screw that and screw you. You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do.”

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Louis POV

I was on the set of Enola Holmes when my phone buzzed indicating that I got a notification. I pulled it out to find the most famous singer I was in love with and liked one of my photos. I was just staring at my screen when my phone got snached out of my hand.

“ Ooh, what’s got you blushing like that? It looks like you turned into a very red tomato.” I heard Millie speak

I watched her face change from teasing to super shocked. I still felt shocked.

“ What! How?” She spits out

I shrugged my shoulders in response. Millie then gave me a playful glare. “ What do you mean you don’t know?”

I gave Millie a look of confusion. “ Millie, I just don’t know how she found my account. I mean I follow her but I don’t think she would ever follow me.”

She just nodded her head and handed my phone back. I then slid it into my pocket before we had to go back to our scene together.

Your POV

I was getting closer to the end of my new song so I went back to my microphone stand and put the mic back in its place before lowering my voice.

“ Maybe I’m too emotional, But your apathy’s like a wound in salt. Maybe I’m too emotional, or maybe you never cared at all. Maybe I’m too emotional, Your apathy is like a wound in salt.” I started leaning into my microphone and started getting my voice ready to shout soon. “ Maybe I’m too emotional, or maybe you never cared at all.” I then let the crowd sing the chorus until I shouted into the mic “ LIKE A DAMN SOCIOPATH!” I heard the crowd scream loud when I did that so I let out a giggle before continuing my song.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was now sitting down on my stool that one of my band mates brought over for me. I was strumming my acoustic guitar on my lap to my next song while talking to my fans.

“ How is everyone doing tonight?”

I got back a bunch of screams and I even heard some responses back which made me smile. “ Alright guys the show is wrapping up soon-” Before I could continue I heard the crowd “ Aww” in response. “ You guys are funny, but I have had such an amazing time hanging out and singing for you guys. I just want to let you know I have about two more songs for you guys. So the first song I want to play for you guys is ‘ Happier’ and then the last and final song of the night is going to be' ‘Good Boy’’.”

I gave the crowd a smile before going back to playing the chords to my song ‘ Happier’

I got closer to the mic and sang the first words…

“ We broke up a month ago.Your friends are mine, you know I know. You’ve moved on, found someone new. One more girl who brings out the better in you. And I thought my heart was detached. From all the sunlight of our past. But she’s so sweet, she’s so pretty, Does she mean you forgot about me?”

I then stop singing for a little while with a small frown on my face before looking up to find the crowd with their phone lights out. I gave a small smile before going back to a frown. I then sang..

“ Oh, I hope you’re happy, But not like how you were with me. I’m selfish, I know, I can’t let you go. So find someone great, but don’t be happier.”

I then pointed for the crowd to take over the singing for a little bit while I played the chords.

Louis POV Millie and I just finished our last scene of the movie so we had to change out of our outfits and head to the place where we were meeting the rest of the cast and crew members for a one last dinner event.

I was the last to arrive as per usual, so we all laughed it off before having a great time with each other before heading off in different directions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once I was back to my house I fell into my bed and layed there for quite some time. I got interrupted with a text message, so I grabbed my phone and said Millie sent me a link to something. Without thinking I clicked on it and saw that it was a video of Y/n singing one of her popular songs. I smiled while watching it due to my huge crush on her, if I ever met her in real life I probably would pass out in front of her.

Your POV

After I sang my last line of my last song I yelled into the mic…

“ I LOVE YOU LONDON! SEE YOU REAL SOON AGAIN!”

I then ran off stage and headed to my dressing room to pack my things to then get on my toru bus that will take me to my hotel that I was staying at. While I was sitting on the bus I decided to post a couple of my pictures I took and put them on my instagram page. After I did that I then decided to stalk that actor I saw on my feed.

‘Time Jump’

It was one of the most important days of my life because I was nominated for an award at the Grammys. So I was with my make up team and someone was helping me with my outfit also. It was a simple but fashionable dress with some simple black high heel shoes.

Third Person POV

Louis was heading to the Grammy’s because of his new movie getting picked for one of the categories, but Y/n also got a nomination for Top artist, and album of the year. The both of them were so close to seeing each other in real life and they didn’t expect each other to be so starstruck.

Louis’s POV

I was walking around the red carpet with Millie when she got asked to do an interview so I stood back and waited for her to be done. While I was waiting I heard a familiar laugh being heard only a couple of feet ahead of me. I then snapped my head into the direction to find the one and only Y/n Y/l/n laughing with the person interviewing her. It took me a little while to process everything that was going around me because I could only see her in the room. I felt my heart start beating faster and felt my hands start shaking a little bit.

Millie’s POV

I was finally done with my interview when I saw Louis staring at something so I followed his eyes and saw him staring at Y/n. I felt a smirk form on my lips and pulled him over to her with all the strength I had in me. I heard him telling me to stop but I didn’t listen since I waited to meet her too.

Your POV

I was talking to someone when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder which made me turn my head. I saw a teenage girl and a teenage boy behind me, so I smiled before giving them my attention.

“ Hi, I’m Millie Bobby Brown and this is my friend Louis Partridge.” she said

“ Hi, Are you guys fans? Also, are you guys by any chance actors in this movie called Enola Holmes?” I questioned

Millie looked at me shocked and nodded her head. I gave her a smile before holding my arms out to give her a hug. I felt her wrap her arms around me. “ I am such a big fan of your music and I could say the same for him back there too.”

I let out a giggle before releasing her and looked behind her to find Louis just staring. I walked over to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder which made him jump. I raised an eyebrow “ Are you good?” He then just gave me a nod. I turned my head due to hearing Millie speak.

“ He was just in shock. He's in love with you.”

Louis’s POV

I felt my face getting hotter by the minute and glared at Millie. She gave me an innocent look and smirked before walking off and leaving me with Y/n. I saw her turn around and smile at me.

“ So in love with me.” She teased

I gave out a chuckle before scratching the back of my neck and looking back at her. I was about to answer her but someone told us to head to the seats to hear the winners. I watched her walk away and smiled before heading to my seat next to Millie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once the awards were over I decided to search for Y/n before leaving to head back to my hotel room. I saw her getting hugs from people so I stood back.

Your POV

I smiled at everyone and turned due to feeling eyes on me. I saw Louis and smiled at him. I walked over to him and gave him a hug and whispered. “ Congrats on your award.” I felt his breath on the side of my neck and heard him doing the same to me. I then pulled back due to hearing my name and slipped a piece of paper to him before kissing the side of his cheek.

Third Person POV

Louis stood there with a shocked expression again. He then looked down at the piece of paper to find her number and a message that said ‘ call me’. He then felt himself smile before heading back to his hotel to rest up.

‘Time Jump’

Y/n was chilling in her apartment writing a song when she heard her phone ring. She picked it up to find an unknown number, but just answered it hoping it would be Louis.

“ Hello?” she said with caution

“ Hi” she heard him say

Which made her let out a little giggle. “ I thought you would never call me.” she responded with. Louis chuckled on the other end. “ Yea, sorry about that. I was a little scared to call you.” Before he could say anything else he heard giggles coming from the other end of the line.

“ Why Louis?” Louis thought hard about what his next response was going to be because he didn’t want to straight up say because we were meant to be together or I was just scared of rejection. Louis finally decided to just ask..

“ Y/n.” he took a pause “ I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me?”

Your POV

I let out a gasp when I heard those words and started nodding but forgetting he couldn't see me so I said..

“ Ofcourse, I will go out with you, Louis.”

Then we just chatted about our days for the rest of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day my date with Louis came so quickly then I could have blinked and I was not prepared. I ran all over my house looking for things to finish off my outfit before it was time to go.

I heard a knock on my door indicating that he was here so I slipped on my heels and carefully made my way to the door. Once I opened it I was met with those hazel eyes that I fell in love with.

“ Wow, you look stunning.” he said

I felt myself start blushing. I then took in his look and stated that… “ Well you look really handsome.”

He then held his hand out for me to take. “ My lady,” he said in his accent, which made me let out a small giggle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were coming up to the end of the date already. He took me to this beautiful restaurant where we are now sharing a piece of cake. I saw him staring at me so I questioned him.

“ What?”

He let out a soft chuckle. “ Nothing, you're just really beautiful looking under this light.”

I felt myself start to blush which made me look down. Before I knew it I felt two fingers lift it back up. “ Don’t look down, you're gorgeous when you get all flustered.” That only made me blush harder. “ Stop.” I said giggling which made him chuckle.

Before I knew it we were back in his car driving back to my place. I was looking out the window when I felt him put his hand on my leg, which sent chills all over my body. I then put my hand on top of his and intertwined our fingers together. I smiled at the thought of us going on more dates.

Louis’s POV

I pulled into her driveway and parked my car. I turned to face her when I saw her already looking at me. I then released her hand and got out of the car to go to her side and open it for her. I walked her to her door where we both stood there for a little while. I then took a risk and leaned forward. I could feel her breath on me, I then closed the gap between us. I could feel her smile into the kiss before I felt her wrap her arms around the back of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her in to me more. She pulled away but kept her forehead against mine.

“ I really like you Louis.” She whispered against my lips

I smiled and said, “ I really like you too Y/n.”

I then leaned in again to give her another goodnight kiss before heading off. I walked over to my car and got in, I then waved at her with a smile on my face and pulled out of the driveway.

Third Person POV

Y/n watched Louis drive off into the distance. She felt a smile creep on her face before heading inside to dream about her date with him. Louis felt the same as her. He felt all giddy inside and he could help but smile at the thought of her. He was already planning the next date for them to go on together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man this is long, but it was worth it because I got major butterflies from writing this for you. I hope you enjoy and if you would like more Louis then comment and I definitely write more of him.

-Samantha

#louis partridge #elona holmes #louis partridge imagine #louis partridge x reader #louis partridge fanfic #louis partridge x you #Louis Partridge fic #Louis Partridge x y/n #Louis Partridge x you #louis partridge fluff #fluff #requested #starstruck #mine

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hangovercurse · 3 years

Text

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About

Pete invites you to meet his friends from The Dirt and makes you promise not to flirt with any of them, which is a lot easier said than done, especially when Colson Baker acts like that.

Request: “Hey so I love all your writing and I just thought you should know that! But also I’d your requests are on still would you mind writing a youre Pete’s little sister but kells got a crush xx”

Colson x reader

Warnings: Drug use, Cursing

A/N: I know, Dom (Yungblud) wrote the song, but also I am the writer and I say that Y/N wrote it :) Anyways, enjoy. This is only part 1 of what is probably going to be a fun, cute lil series. Also thank you to the anon who sent this! You made my day(s)

Word Count: 2411

| ii | iii | iv | v |

masterlist

New York was lonely without your brother. He had been filming in New Orleans for the past three months, leaving you alone. You had some friends, but Pete was your best friend. You were only eight months younger than him and practically attached at the hip. You supposed going through trauma together would do that to people.

He facetimed you all the time from set, updating you on things in his life, showing you cool stuff from the set, and introducing you to his castmates. You had kept him updated on your music, playing him demos of songs you were writing and getting his opinion on them.

Him being away wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but it definitely sucked for you. So, when Pete texted you that he was having a few friends from the movie over the night he got back, you were ecstatic.

Before you left your apartment to walk to his, he texted you.

You’re not allowed to flirt with any of my friends

You rolled your eyes as you locked your door, preparing a response.

I’ll try my best

Your phone buzzed seconds later.

I’m serious. I don’t trust any of them with you.

And I don’t need that kind of awkwardness in my life

Like if you date one of my friends and it goes badly

I don’t wanna deal with that shit

You chuckled at his chain of texts.

Don’t flirt with your friends because they’re dicks, got it

Don’t worry bro, I know the sibling code

You came to find out that that was a lot easier said than done. When you walked into his place, everyone in the room turned to look at you. You recognized most of them from your facetimes with Pete, but you doubted they remembered who you were. One who did remember you was Colson, Pete’s new best friend. He made eye contact with you from across the room, a sly grin on his lips. You sent him a small smile, Pete’s text running through your head briefly.

You found your brother lounging on the couch, a huge grin on his face. He was definitely tripping on mushrooms. “Y/N!” He yelled. “This is my baby sister, everyone.”

You rolled your eyes, walking further into the room, grabbing a drink from the cooler, and taking an empty seat on the opposite couch. “I’m less than a year younger than you, Pete.”

You heard a snicker from the one of the guys, looking over to see Colson covering up the smile on his face. “But you’re still younger than me so it counts.”

Everyone went back to their own conversations, which you were thankful for. “Y/N, you remember Colson, right?” Pete motioned to the blond guy.

“Yeah.” You nodded, looking him up and down. His muscle tank exposed the sleeves of tattoos, which seemed to cover every inch of his skin. “Your hair was different, but yeah I remember you.” You opened the beer on the coffee table, taking a swig.

“You’re the musician, right?” He asked you, leaning back onto the couch.

You nodded, “Aspiring musician but, yeah.”

“Oh, she’s great. You should hear her sometime.” Pete butted in, grinning like an idiot at you.

You rolled your eyes but had a smile on your face. “I work primarily as a songwriter and editor right now, but I’m trying to work on putting out some of my own stuff.”

You felt a little intimidated talking to Machine Gun Kelly about music, seeing as he was one of the best in the industry, but he seemed to be genuinely interested in your work. “Well, if you ever want some help or someone to listen to it, I’d be willing.” He flashed a smile, his bright blue eyes sparkling.

“Thanks, that’s really cool of you.” You bit your lip slightly, trying to hide the fact that you were totally breaking Pete’s rule.

Pete sent a glare your way to which you raised your eyebrow. You weren’t really flirting; you were just… making connections. “Anyways,” he cleared his throat, “I’ve been working on this sketch idea, Y/N, and I need your opinion.”

You nodded, letting him talk. “So, I was thinking like, there’s this guy with posters all over his wall. Like life size posters of a bunch of different people. And he falls asleep while doing homework and he dreams about them coming to life. And it plays out like one of those really bad commercials that encourage kids to stay in school and shit. Like the posters are telling him to study for his test, but then there’s this one poster that’s like, very sexy. And she’s just like, talking about hot dogs and everyone else gets really sick of it and one of the other posters tries to like, tear down her poster or something.”

Throughout his description, you got more and more confused. “Pete, that’s not funny that’s just fuckin weird.” His mouth hung open in shock. “Dude, seriously? The big punchline is the playboy poster girl talking about hot dogs until the other poster people get tired of it?”

“Yes.” Pete said, as if it were obvious. “That’s hilarious.” You glanced at Colson with a questioning look on your face. He seemed as unsure of the joke as you were.

“Pete, man, that’s not your best work.” Colson clapped him on the shoulder and you giggled at Pete’s disappointed expression.

“You guys are mean.” He pouted and you two laughed. “Ok, well, how would you make it funny?”

“I don’t know if you can, bro.” Colson’s laugh was contagious. When he laughed his whole body shook, his feet stomping and everything.

“What are the other posters?” You asked, trying to be supportive but knowing this wouldn’t turn out very good.

“Well, I was thinking maybe one is like a video game character. Like that lady from Wreck-It-Ralph. The mean one. And then like a snowboarder who is definitely high, and someone else, I dunno.” He shrugged, taking a hit from the joint in his hand and passing it to you.

“Okay…” You trailed off, looking at Colson for support. You brought the blunt to your lips, inhaling the smoke and bringing it down, letting the smoke leave your mouth slowly. You passed the joint to Colson, who gladly took it, a smirk on his face.

Pete looked between you two at the small interaction, a frown. “So, the posters,” he brought your attention away from the man again, “they’re all really serious about teaching this dude math. But the hotdog girl just keeps talking about hot dogs in like this really high-pitched voice.”

You watched the smoke fall from Colson’s lips, not fully paying attention to your brother.

“Yeah man, I think that sounds funny.” Colson told Pete, his eyes lingering on you for a little longer than they should have. “It could use some work but if anyone can make it funny, it’s you.” Colson punched your brother on the shoulder, but the look he sent you said the exact opposite.

You held in your giggle, taking another sip of your beer.

The rest of the night followed a similar pattern, you and Colson flirting and Pete trying to get in between you two. At one point, after a few more hits of weed and a couple more drinks, Colson brought out a guitar, insisting you play something for him. Where he got the guitar from, you had no idea, but you didn’t ask questions. Instead, you rolled your eyes, insisting that “if I have to play something, so do you.”

Everyone was too caught up in their own conversations to care about the noise, or too drunk. You started strumming, trying to remember the chords to a song you had started writing a few days ago. “There’s no lyrics yet, just a melody I came up with.” You blushed, feeling very self-conscious suddenly.

“Guess I’ll just free style to it then.” He chuckled as you started to strum, your fingers working the strings like they had your whole life.

The blond man closed his eyes, head nodding as you played and thinking of what to rap.

“Watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night. Catch me, I’m the one on the run away from the headlights.

No sleep, up all week wastin time with people I don’t like. I think, somethin’s fuckin wrong with me.

You smiled as he sang, watching his expressions change as he tried to think up the next line.

Drown myself in alcohol, that shit never helps at all

I might say some stupid things tonight when you pick up this call

I be hearin silence on the other side for way to long, I can taste it on my tongue, I can tell that somethin’s wrong.”

He opened his eyes, looking rather proud of himself. “I had some of those lyrics already, but I just changed ‘em a little. I really liked that.”

You nodded, “That was impressive.” You smiled, looking back down to the guitar when something hit you.

You began to play the same melody but pitched higher to fit your voice.

“Roll me up, and smoke me love

And we could fly into the night

You take drugs, to let go, and figure it all out on your own

Take drugs, on gravestones, to figure it all out on your own.”

You looked up to Colson, watching his expression change, his eyes wide. Pete had a proud look on his face.

“Pete, you are a sucky hype man. You did her no justice.” Colson hit Pete on the arm.

“Whaddya mean, I told you she was great.”

Colson looked over to you, a stupid smile on his face. “Seriously, that was fucking amazing. Like, we gotta write that shit out some day.”

You bit your lip, trying to stop the blush from reaching your cheeks. “Yeah, that’d be cool.” You were trying your best to keep your cool as Colson kept his gaze on you, but you were completely freaking out on the inside.

A little while later, almost everyone was gone except you, Pete, Colson, and Douglas Booth, who joined your conversation not long after your jam session. Pete let out a yawn, directing your attention to the time.

“Jesus, it’s already 4am?” You asked, a frown on your face.

“Why, you got somewhere to be, darling?” Douglas asked you, your face scrunching up from the nickname.

“I have a writing session at 11 am tomorrow. Or, today, I guess.”

Pete reached out to hit you in the head, playfully, which you dodged. “Go to bed, dummy.”

You shrugged, “I’m gonna be dead at it anyways, might as well keep the party going a little longer.”

Douglas rolled his eyes, patting your shoulder. “Be that as it may, I am ending this party and going home. Goodnight, guys. It was nice meeting you again, Y/N. Good to see you guys.” Douglas and the guys did that little hand slap and hug thing before he left.

“I love you both, but I will also be going to sleep. And you should too.” Pete stood up, stretching his arms out before giving Colson a fist bump and leaving to his bedroom.

Once your older brother left, Colson moved to the couch you were on, his arm falling over your shoulders. You looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “And how can I help you Mr. Kelly?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m assuming Pete gave us both very similar talking to’s, given the glares you’ve been receiving all night.”

“You mean the “don’t flirt with my friends” talking to or the other one?” You tilted your head, a sly look on your face.

“That’s the one.” Colson laughed through his nose, an adorable smile on his face. You were both considerably high, but you still knew exactly what you were doing.

You moved closer to Colson’s body, “Well then I guess we’d better not do this.” You said quietly, leaning into him. “Or this,” You grabbed his jaw, inches from his face.

“Or this?” He whispered, connecting your lips. You smiled into the kiss, tasting the weed on his tongue. You adjusted your body so you were facing him, his arm that was once around your shoulder now wrapped around your waist.

His other hand grabbed your leg, pulling you up so you were straddling his lap, and your arms wrapped around his neck. His lips seemed to fit perfectly around yours, and you did all you could to keep yourself from moaning into the kiss as his hand began to travel up your leg.

Realization hit you like a brick wall, and you pulled away, your breathing heavy. “Sorry,” you muttered after a few seconds. You climbed off his lap, smoothing out your shirt. “We shouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t have done that.” You smiled awkwardly down at him.

He nodded, the same realization hitting him. “Yeah, that’s not the best idea. Sorry I wasn’t really thinking.”

You shook your head, cheeks still very red. “No, no, no don’t apologize. It was fine, it’s all fine.”

He nodded, looking down awkwardly. “I should get going.” He stood up, landing a little too close to you.

“Why don’t you just sleep here? Pete won’t mind and it’s a lot easier than going home.” You bit your lip awkwardly, taking a few steps back.

Colson scratched the back of his neck. This was a very different demeanor than he had before, and you found it very cute. “Are you sure?”

You nod. “I’ll get you some blankets and pillows.” You moved towards the guest bedroom, a guilty smile on your face. You moved your hand to your lips, feeling where Colson’s lips had graced you minutes before.

You came back to find Colson laying on the couch, one hand behind his head. “We don’t have to tell Pete about that, right?”

You shook your head, a small smile still playing on your lips. You put the pillow behind his head, watching his eyes as he watched your lips. “Stop looking at me like that or I’ll do something else we can’t tell Pete about.” You said quietly, watching him grin. You pulled the blanket over him, leaning down to be level with his face.

“I kind of like the things we can’t tell Pete about.” Colson chuckled, leaning forward to connect your lips again.

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst #pete davidson

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beelovesnct · 3 years

Text

𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩 [𝐞𝐩 𝟐]

— episode 2

The episode continued where it left off, with Defconn's inspection of the various members' bags.

The time came when it was Aiko's turn.

Her bag was a big leather satchel backpack in the color brown. There was a joke asking if she was actually camping, as her bag looked like she was going to stay for more than one night and two days; Aiko brushed off the teasing, stating that what she brought were her essentials, and since some members didn't bring a lot (she side-eyed Jaemin), she was tasked with bringing it for them: this included snacks and hygiene products.

Unto the actual unpacking:

Aiko's bag checking

The first few items that Defconn pulled out were Aiko's essential gadgets: her iPad, her switch, and her phone—together with charging cables and ports that came with them. (In fact, she even brought her own extension chord just in case there weren't enough outlets in the house—the dreamies couldn't stop cackling with the host's bewildered reaction, as it was a very normal scene for all of them).

When asked why she brought so many gadgets, she answered that she has different uses for each one: her iPad for her e-books (and Renjun's canvas whenever he doesn't bring his own iPad, like now), her switch mostly for her games, and her phone for contact and social media purposes.

The next item that caught Defconn's attention was a large gray hoodie, one that looked very comfortable. Aiko admitted that this was her favorite hoodie as of late. Renjun perked up at this, and nudged her, so she ended up confessing that it was a gift from him on her 20th birthday. Renjun had a smug smile on his face then, though it fell the moment Aiko confessed that Jaemin's probably gonna borrow it for the entirety of the show.

Then there came the vital item that wasn't in any of the boys' bags, one that Defconn badly searched for: snacks.

Everyone rejoiced when the snacks were brought out from her bag, when asked about it she stated that "I have really specific taste buds that give me the knack for choosing good snacks, so these people just toss me that responsibility."

There were a few ramen noodles from the best brands, with a few chips and candies as well.

Then Defconn moved on to her hygiene products (which weren't all that interesting except for the excess facial wash that Aiko admitted Jaemin uses). When asked about perfumes, however, Aiko answered that she doesn't use anything specific, and just follows whatever the make-up staff told her to wear (which made Renjun groan out in frustration as he acknowledged that Aiko smelled so good regardless—like a vintage bookstore during winter; Renjun your artistry is showing).

Finally, the host dug into her wallet, which alarmed Aiko. Mark, who was beside her, silently asked if there was anything she didn't want to be revealed then he'd try his best to stop him, but Aiko shook her head with a grateful smile, "No, it's fine, it's just something cheesy." She responded in a whisper, making Mark internally coo as he patted the girl's head (earning a small grunt in return).

Defconn let out a sound of amazement, finding 120,000 won (about 100 dollars) in her wallet. Aiko stated that most of the time, it was her emergency money that was used for the whole group, so she always makes sure to have a lot wherever they went.

They also cooed at the pictures found in the front of her wallet: There's her family picture taken in Osaka, there's the NCT 2018 group picture, and an NCT Dream group picture—the one they took at the beach while shooting for the music video of We Go Up.

"Just, in some way, my wallet is my identity, and I couldn't imagine who I am now without the people in these pictures."

Her sincere confession caused Haechan to lunged at her, cradling her head in his arms as he spouts on about how adorable she was currently being, the other members either laughing or cooing with him.

The bag inspection for every member finally finished.

On the topic of room assignments, all the dreamies raised their hands when asked if they wanted to be paired with Aiko. The reason usually was that she was silent, and she never had a roommate before so it was a nice change of pace.

Since Chenle wasn't there, Aiko ended up rooming with Mark, Jisung, and Renjun; while Jaemin, Haechan, and Jeno roomed together (Haechan whined a lot).

After changing to their uniform, the dreamies went on to eat lunch, telling stories about their trainee days as they did so.

One story was about the foreigners' move to South Korea. They talked about how Chenle didn't know any Korean so having Renjun in the team really helped a lot.

For Aiko, she told everyone that it was Mark that helped her. She explained that when she moved to the country when she was thirteen, she could only speak English and Japanese at that time, hence, Mark was a really great help. (This also revealed to the fans just how their friendship goes all the way back, despite their sometimes lacking on-screen chemistry).

Another story was about Haechan's Kimchi Jiggae, with the dreamies revealing that the reason they made up that day was because of Aiko. It was really either they apologize to Haechan, or the cat-like member would have eaten everything despite not liking spicy food at all.

"Noona was really funny at that time, her face was so red and she was tearing up but her face was still full of Kimchi Jiggae. The staff noonas and hyungs were already scolding her to spit it out, but noona simply ate faster; she told them she wouldn't stop until Haechan hyung comes back." Jisung confessed while trying not to laugh.

"We were scolded, so we had no choice and made up soon after, everyone apologized to each other while Aiko was stuck in the bathroom." Another wave of laughter ensues, though there was a grateful and almost adorning glint in Haechan's eyes.

Defconn then went on to praise the member and asked if she's the peacemaker in the group, to which Aiko vehemently denied. "As you can see, I'm a—, I don't talk a lot so I don't communicate properly either, so that causes misunderstandings sometimes." She shyly confessed despite the resting face she had on.

The episode ended with the usual mental chant, as the dreamies proceeded to the next activity.

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mindibindi · 3 years

Note

Beyond disappointed in Ted Lasso. What were they thinking?!

The writing is a complete betrayal and insult to Rebecca’s character and Hannah’s skills as they’re being seriously underused. It’s also insulting Sam’s character.

Hoping someone pulls Rebecca’s head out of her ass tbh. Sam shouldn’t be getting caught in the crossfire of her looking for romance. I know he showed up at her doorstep but she still should’ve turned him away, and not even messaged him in the first place.

Hey, I'm with you, Anon, though we do seem to be in the minority. Sam is definitely not blameless here, he is also in the wrong. But if one of them is more in the wrong, it is Rebecca. I can't speak to whether her head has left her arse as yet because I have quit watching (at least for now). I hear she called it off with Sam in the most recent ep, though not because of any major crisis of conscience or because anyone in her inner circle expressed any reasonable reservations in response to her bad behaviour. And to be honest, I'm not sure we should need to hope and pray that Rebecca's precocious god-daughter, her slimy ex-husband, or the brutal British press will act as a moral compass on this ill-advised relationship. Both Rupert and the press have been set up to some extent as the villains of the piece. And a 14 year old should never have to school her elders on what is and isn't acceptable. Nora's needs have already been neglected by Rebecca for far too long.

If a moral position is to be taken on this, it needs to be taken by the show (because stance matters) and/or by its characters. But the show has for the most part depicted this relationship as ill-advised but ultimately hot, sweet, funny and romantic. As for the characters themselves, Sam has shown at least once that he has some moral backbone but seems to be adorably clueless when it comes to fucking his boss who keeps trying to set boundaries with him. Meanwhile, Rebecca's whole arc in s1 was about learning not to misuse her power for her own selfish ends. In season one, she misused her power within the club in order to exact revenge. In season 2, we have seen her misuse her sexual power, though I still cannot see to what end. I'm a bit at a loss as to what exactly she gets out of this 'relationship' but then I'm a grown woman so I have absolutely no interest in sleeping with a Harry Potter enthusiast barely out of his teens. I couldn't think of anything less sexy and more ick. I was certainly hoping for better character development for her this season.

As to what the writers were thinking, obviously I was not in the writer's room, but I would guess that they were thinking that any drama is good drama, people are stupid and fan devotion will trump any meaningful critique. In other words, they were thinking exactly how every other television writer thinks, despite the fact that this show posited itself as 'not like other TV shows'. This, to me, is where the blame really lies. Not with the characters or with the actors who are doing their best to sell this ludicrous turn of events. It must be noted, however, that both actors were completely blindsided by this relationship that had supposedly been so cleverly foreshadowed. Newsflash: if the people actually living these stories did not see this coming then you haven't foreshadowed shit. Sure, there were a handful of people that paired Rebecca with Sam but this does not constitute proof either. Fans have free-range to imagine and re-imagine characters. In some cases this may extend to imagining relationships between characters who have barely, if ever, interacted. There may be little to no evidence that these characters have even clocked each other's existence and some fans will still ship it. The existence of a handful of shippers does not legitimise such a problematic and divisive plotline making it onscreen.

But wait!, you might argue, this may not be a case of a popular show seeing just how far they can stretch fan devotion. This may not be a case of fan service to a handful of shippers. After all, the creators mapped out the entire three-season arc of Ted Lasso before they even pitched it to Apple. This was their brilliant plan all along! To which I would say: then maybe they should've rethought their second act based on people's strong reactions to their first. Ted Lasso was touted as the show we all needed in 2020. The writers and creators have all marveled at the chord it struck considering it was conceived prior to the pandemic and all the chaos it wrought. And while there is something to be said for having/sticking to a creative vision, there is also something to be said for being flexible and responsive to your audience and the cultural zeitgeist with which you're engaged. Season 1 of Ted Lasso told its story so gently, without creating distrust, division or unnecessary anxiety. It did not treat its audience like a gaggle of stupid lemmings to be led over a succession of narrative cliffs. THIS is what I mean when I say the show has broken with its brand. And look, this whole dark forest thing would be okay if the narrative arc was as well-crafted as s1. Season 1 gave us meaning, cohesion, comfort, sense in a senseless time. It was an almost perfectly crafted season of television. And I kept the faith for 6 episodes, despite the first half of s2 being pretty damn wobbly. But the follow-up to this stellar debut has been less than extraordinary so yeah, perhaps they should've thought a little harder about what made s1 so special before throwing it all out the window.

But wait!, I hear the faithful say, you don't know how things will pan out yet! Wait until the season is over and everything will make sense! But -- wearily and once again, I say -- we should not need to wait until the end of the season to understand what the hell is happening. By this point (over halfway through the season and show) we should have a v clear idea of the show's themes and the characters' arcs. And tbf, from what I can tell there are some fab things happening in other aspects of the show that I wish I could watch and enjoy. But my biggest fear at this point is that they are going to use Sam to solve Rebecca's childlessness. That, like Rupert (because the parallel cannot be avoided), she will become pregnant with a young fling and the show's attitude to this relationship will ultimately be: oh well, it was a bad idea and didn't work out for them but it was all for the best in the end cos who can be mad about a cute lil baaaayyybbbeeee??!! If they do go down this path then I will definitely be abstaining from the rest of the show. I will simply recall my repeated viewings of s1 with fondness tinged with regret at just how badly they fucked up a good thing.

Ultimately, Anon, I think this may be a case of there simply not being a diverse enough perspective in the writer's room. I am not saying that every single woman or every single person of colour will necessarily object to this relationship. I am simply saying that women and people of colour will be more sensitive to the issues of gender and race that are relevant here but that have not been fully or sensitively acknowledged in the writing of this plotline. Neither am I saying that Rebecca is the first woman to sleep with a man much (much, much, MUCH) younger than herself or indulge in an ill-advised relationship. But the comparison with Rupert both works here and doesn't because Rebecca is not being written like a white woman, she is being written like a white man. Realistically, only a white man can engage in this kind of hugely imbalanced relationship seemingly without any major moral qualms or societal ramifications. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this kind of relationship is reserved for all the Bills and Joes and Brendans and Jasons out there -- not for the Rebeccas and definitely not for the Sams. We are way beyond the point in feminism where we believe that liberation is simply the right for a white woman to behave as badly as a white man. The truth is that whatever wealth, power and privilege Rebecca has, the rules are different for men and women. She will not be treated the same as Rupert if and when this affair is uncovered. She will be treated far more savagely than Rupert ever was and Sam will be treated far more savagely than Bex was. This is not an argument for the equal treatment of these two relationships. It is an argument against how the relationship between Rebecca and Sam has been envisaged, i.e. through the wrong perspective. In writing from a 'neutral' white male pov, the show has invisiblised all the many issues activated by this storyline and revealed a blindspot that was always there.

As much as I loved and still love season 1 of this show, it has definite blindspots when it comes to representations of race and gender. There are at least two moments in s1 that stand out for me as being so obviously written by a man. Not necessarily because of what they do but because of what they don't do: what is missed, absent, unacknowledged. I was willing to overlook such minor failings in a debut season for many reasons. But s2 seems to have exacerbated these minor flaws rather than correcting them. And here I can't help thinking of Tina Fey speaking of the diversification of the writer's room at SNL during her tenure as co-headwriter. This notoriously male-dominated environment only began to shift and produce better work when a greater diversity of minds, voices and persepectives was allowed in the room. In this richer environment, she notes, different jokes played differently. Different sketches made it to air. Different perspectives were represented and different performers were celebrated. I can't help wondering if this plotline would have made it to air if there had been a female writer, a writer of colour or both further up the chain of command to challenge the ideas of the straight white dudes in charge.

One of the reasons I didn't think Ted Lasso was for me was that it centred a straight, white, cis-het, able-bodied man who rose to a position he didn't earn. That is just not a pov I would normally choose for myself, especially now that there is such a rich array of alternative perspectives through which to view the world. But I think the show won a lot of females fans with its first season largely due to its portrayal of Rebecca. She is the first person we meet. She is arguably the protagonist of s1. And while she would have been figured as a villain in previous pieces, the show never took that stance with her (because again, stance matters). Other elements like the depiction of female friendships, all centred around Rebecca, made this show female-friendly viewing. But imo, the major reason this show won over female fans (this one, at least) is because, in this post-MeToo, post-TimesUp era, it stood up and said: domestic violence is not okay, we stand with women and all victims of abuse, we will defend you, we know words can hurt, we know it can happen to anyone, we know all about toxic masculinity, we do not take this lightly and we will support you in your healing. Needless to say, this is how women hope men will act when they speak of their most difficult experiences but it is not how they always do.

The shift away from Rebecca this season has however meant that the white male experience is more centred than it was in s1. Rebecca's journey to recovery, health and happiness has been trivialised and sidelined, reduced to a highly questionable sexcapade. Meanwhile, we get overwrought manpain at every turn. We get Beard wandering around London (no, I haven't seen it and no, I don't need to. We've all been raised on white dudes thinking they're genuises when they have a figurative wank all over our screens). We get NO queer represention at all. And the only other female characters on screen are in care/service roles to men. The father/son, mentoring and toxic masculinity themes are all still there but they're no longer balanced out by ANY other competing perspective. One of the reasons I was okay with Ted failing upwards in s1 was that he used his power and privilege to lift up others. He was the one in service. He used his enormous privilege for good, as anyone with such privilege must. (Admittedly, it could be argued that this is just another version of a white savior narrative).

My point here is that I'm not sure that peeking behind the mask at the sad clown is as revolutionary as some might believe. We love it because it's familiar. But this is a narrative with a long and problematic history. Do I believe in tearing down toxic masculinity in all its forms? You bet. Do I believe that patriarchy traumatises men as well as women and every other minority in existence? I mean...nowhere near as much, but absolutely. Do I believe in men expressing their feelings and going to therapy? Wholeheartedly. But I am also aware that 100 or so years ago, we were in a very similar place with our narratives. Everyone is looking for a recapitulation of modernism and frankly, this might be an indicator of just that. Whenever women and people of colour have demanded rights and recognition, there has always been a resurgence of tales about just how frickin' hard it is to be a white man. Minority genders and non-white people have never in western history been as visible or vocal as they are now. So forgive me (or don't, I don't care) if I critique a show not only for centering fathers, sons, boys and men but for blindly and boldly writing one of its only female characters and one of its only black characters as if their gender and race just do not exist. There are many other power differentials at play in this relationship, including age, experience, wealth and position, but race and gender are the two that patriarchy is most invested in invisiblising. So I don't care how brilliant they think they are, I will not trust the writing of a bunch of white dudes trying to tell me that race and gender are irrelevant.

#ted lasso #rebecca welton #sam obisanya #ask #yeah this one got out of hand

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mrs-hilmarson · 4 years

Text

Run To Me (Part 4)

Pairing: Diane Sherman x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

TW: Brief mention of vomiting. I don’t want anyone getting triggered, so I would rather be overly cautious!

A/N: If you would like to be on a tag list for this fic, please add a comment below or shoot me a message! Excited about the next chapter, things are coming. Again thank you for the love. I am having so much fun writing this and it means even more when you have people who enjoy reading it!

Even though it had been four whole days since the accident, you were not feeling better. Diane had said that the day after was supposed to be the worst, but it seemed like you felt weaker each day. Diane was keeping a close eye on you though, making sure you weren't running a fever and that the road rash and cuts weren't getting worse. She said if you got any weaker, she would bring you to the local urgent care to make sure something serious wasn't going on.

Though you weren't feeling well, you enjoyed the days spent with Diane in the quiet little house, just the two of you. You had learned a lot about each other in the past few days, developing a routine with one another that always ended the day with a cup of that nasty ass tea, but deep and sweet conversation.

You hadn't gone into too much detail about your past quite yet, about your mother or father or what it was like in the foster home. You shared mainly surface level things and funny memories that were light hearted. You knew the heavier stuff would be discussed eventually. Although you were choosing to keep the painful memories of your past to yourself for the time being, Diane had opened to you almost immediately.

You found out she didn't have parents either, her mother dying when she was a child and she was married when she was very young, to an abusive husband that left her for another woman only a year and a half into the marriage. Soon after she found out she was pregnant and she decided to not reach out to her ex-husband and to just raise the baby on her own. Unfortunately she developed high blood pressure and delivered the baby too soon, and she died in Diane's arms before she even had time to discuss options. Her name was Chloe and Diane chose to live a quiet life after that. She moved to Washington only a few years ago and put herself into teaching, science, and her garden. She always wanted a child, but she was just never able have one again.

When she told you that, your heart broke for her. Of course she was so willing to take you home with her. She was lonely! She had promised to take care of you, but you knew as soon as you were back on your feet, you were going to try and care for her too. In whatever way she would let you. You weren't Chloe, and you could never be Chloe, but you could love her with all your heart.

It had been another rough day, as you had suddenly developed a bad headache and had felt queasy for most of it. You didn't really eat much of your dinner, pushing it around your plate. You didn't want to tell Diane you had vomited up breakfast. If she knew you were barely keeping things down, she may get worried.

Diane cleared the plates from the table and brought them to the sink. She noticed you didn't eat more than a few bites. She didn't say anything but turned to you and smiled.

"How about you go ahead and sit on the couch? I'll be there in just a minute," she said quietly. Her voice had seemed to grow more gentle towards you each day.

You smiled wearily and went to the living room, lazily sitting down on the couch. It could have only been a few minutes, but you somehow managed to fall asleep. You were constantly tired and wanting to nap. Diane said it was a good sign because it meant your body was trying to heal itself.

You were woken up by the couch dipping under Diane's weight. You opened your eyes and saw her smiling at you, holding a bowl of something brown. It smelled sweet and you looked at her suspiciously.

"What's that? No tea tonight?" you asked, hopeful.

Diane chuckled and pulled out two spoons, sticking it into the bowl.

"No, no tea tonight. I don't want you to get too much of those herbs and vitamins. And this, it's brownie batter. Me and my friends as teenagers would make a bowl of it and eat it as we talked about boys and school and our dreams," she said, picking up a spoon and licking off the chocolate from it.

You couldn't help but smile as you took a spoon and licked at it cautiously. You had never had the stuff and it was intoxicating. You shoved the whole spoon in your mouth, ready to inhale the entire bowl.

Diane laughed and pulled the bowl towards her.

"Alright, alright speedy... don't eat it too fast. You'll get sick."

You forced yourself to go slower, but the moment Diane turned around you would be sure to put as much of it in your mouth that would fit. This was worth getting sick over. Diane stared at you, drinking up the image of you enjoying the treat she had brought.

"You know," Diane hummed, "I always thought I'd do this one day with my daughter. Make it a tradition and she'd tell me her secrets and we would be best friends."

You're heart ached in your chest. You knew she meant Chloe and you knew she would rather her be on the couch than you. Suddenly the batter didn't taste as sweet. You put the spoon into the bowl and left it there. You looked up at Diane and saw she was almost beaming at you though.

"I'm glad I get to do it with you," she said, picking up the spoon with her other hand and letting you eat off it.

You felt really confused, but happy at the same time. You knew you weren't her daughter, but sometimes the way she said things or looked at you, it was like she wanted you to be. As if that's how she saw you. You weren't sure if you saw her as a mother though, you didn't really know what that felt like. It was complex for you.

"So, Y/n, tell me. What did you do with your friends? Did you have any special traditions with the girls?" Diane asked, eating another spoon of the batter, it dripping onto her lips.

It broke you from your anxious thoughts and had you now thinking about your past. It wasn't that much better but at least it would keep you talking.

"Well, I really wasn't in one place long enough to make any traditions with my friends. But me and my foster sister, the one who lives in town, we would go and sneak out of our group home and head to the woods behind it. The woods had fireflies in them and we would go see the 'light shows' and talk about a bunch of different things. What our families could have been like, what we were going to do when we aged out, the issues we had at the home."

You remembered those nights fondly, some of the few good memories you had growing up. You wondered if there were any woods in the area and if they had fireflies. Maybe you could go and see a 'light show' for old times sake. You would ask your sister when you saw her. But you needed to call her first.

"Uh Diane, could I possibly use your phone?"

Diane suddenly stiffened, the spoon thudding back into the batter. Her face seemed to harden just for a moment before quickly returning to the warm look she often gave you. It took her a moment to respond, making the air between you thick for some reason.

"Sure. Are you okay?" she said, her voice sounding concerned.

She seemed like she was worried and you wondered if she thought she had upset you.

"Oh yeah! I'm fine. I just actually wanted to call my sister and let her know I made it here and that I'm safe and see when she wanted to meet up," you said in a confident tone, hoping to ease her mind.

Her face seemed to twitch and she swallowed hard, clearing her throat. She smiled at you though and you just shrugged off her strange reaction. She pointed to the kitchen where the phone hung on the wall. Diane had phones with chords still in her house, which you found charming, but also a little inconvenient that you couldn't step outside.

"You're welcome to call your foster sister," she said, saying the word 'foster' strangely, "I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for bed to give you some privacy."

She smiled at you and brushed your hair behind your ear before getting up and heading to her room. You waited until you could no longer hear her footsteps before leaning over the brownie bowl and quickly stuffing your mouth with as much batter as you could. As soon as you swallowed it all, you realized you may have made a mistake, but you could regret it later.

You walked over to the phone and pressed the buttons to the number you had memorized by heart. You felt nervous suddenly even though nothing had changed and you had just talked to her a week ago. Your heart race increased with each ringer, anxious to hear her voice.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice on the other side of the phone croaked.

"Mandy? Mandy, its Y/n."

There was some rustling on the other side of the line and you were pretty sure you had woken Mandy up, but you knew she wouldn't mind.

"Hey! I was wondering when I would hear from you. I was a little worried. You were supposed to call me like two days ago," she yawned.

"Yeah I'm sorry. I had a little set back. But I'm here in town and I'm staying with a woman I met-"

Mandy cut you off with a very obnoxious "Ooooohhhhhh!"

"Shut up. It's not like that. She's just a really good friend that I was lucky enough to meet. Now before you say anything else stupid, when and where do you want to meet?"

Mandy chuckled on the other end. She knew you hated being picked on and anytime she sensed even the possibility of making you uncomfortable, she had to crack a joke.

"Well, I have class tomorrow, but I am free after lunch. There is a nice little coffee shop book store on Howard. You can meet me there at like 2PM. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, that's perfect. I can't wait. I've missed you so much Mandy," you said, tears prickling at your eyes.

"I've missed you too lighting bug. So tell me, who is this lady you are-"

Suddenly Mandy's voice cut off. You pulled the phone away from your ear, not even hearing a dial tone. You messed with the phone for a moment before realizing the line was dead.

"Diane?" you called out, sticking your head around the corner.

Diane was right there, breathing heavy as if she had been running. She startled you and you stared at her, mindlessly passing the phone to her.

"Your phone line went dead," you mumbled.

Diane put the phone to her ear and pressed a few buttons before hanging up.

"I'll call the phone company in the morning. Sometimes someone hits a line and the whole thing goes dead. Were you able to call your friend though?" she asked, leaning against the wall.

You noticed she said friend this time, but you brushed it off. She didn't know the bond you and Mandy shared.

"Yes! I did. I'm going to meet her tomorrow for lunch."

Diane didn't hid her discomfort this time.

"Y/n, I don't think that's a good idea. You're still very weak. You didn't even eat dinner. I don't think you should go out by yourself. Maybe I should go with-"

"No. It's okay. I'll be fine for a couple of hours. I won't be running a marathon, just having a coffee with my sister."

You wanted to spend time with Mandy by yourself and while you appreciated the thought of Diane going with you, you were still an adult no matter how young you looked. It didn't help that at the moment the brownie batter was now fighting against you and you were hunched over slightly.

"Well maybe consider letting me drive you to town? I need to run some errands anyway so I can drive you and that way if you feel like you need to lay down or rest I wouldn't be far."

You would need a ride to town, but you just weren't sure.

"Let me sleep on it. I hate to think I would be using you just for a ride. And-" before you could finish, you start having a coughing fit. Coughing was nothing new to you thanks to the asthma, but this wasn't that. This was the batter.

You tried to keep it down, but it was too late. You threw up, all over yourself, all over the floor, and even on Diane's slippers. You expelled everything you had eaten that day and more and it took a moment before you stopped gagging, laying in a ball on the floor.

Suddenly fear over took you as you saw yourself and the floor covered in vomit. You know your mom would be so mad when she saw it and you would get punished. You didn't want to be punished. You began to cry and you scooted away until your body hit the wall.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to," you cried. You forgot where you were and suddenly you were back at home. You didn't like going back.

Diane quickly ran over to you, not phased by the vomit and held you in her arms. You fought her off at first but she shooshed you and smoothed your hair, holding you close to her. She knew a flashback when she saw one. She held you and whispered in your ear. It took a moment but eventually you came back to present day. You still felt sick, you now smelled awful, your head hurt, and you were embarrassed. For the first time since you had met Diane, you felt tears prickle you eyes and instead of hiding them, you let them flow.

You cried in Diane's arms as she rocked you back in forth, and you apologized over and over again. You weren't sure if you were saying sorry because you had thrown up on her or if it was because she lost her daughter or because you were the mess of a person she felt fate brought her. She kissed your head and took your face in her hands. She wiped your tears with the pads of her thumb and looked at you with tears in her eyes too.

"Hey. It's okay. Stop apologizing. You're safe now Y/n."

She pulled you back to her chest again and wrapped her arms around you tight as if she would never let you go.

"I've got you," she whispered, over and over.

"I've got you, and I'm not letting go."

#sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson fic #sarah paulson #diane sherman #diane sherman x reader #run film

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bilgisticallykosher · 3 years

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Not going to tag every side, even if they were technically all mentioned but. I'm. Very screaming still.

Pre-episode. Squealing, so much squealing. Remus. I'm just. Remus, but intense. Remus 💚 Anyway, I see Thomas looking horrified- OH ARE WE GETTING TO THE DREAM THING? Are we dealing with The Thing from DWIT??? Aaaaa. Also, Logan? I thought it was supposed to be Virgil. Hm.

Okay, let's- hnnnnnng content warning I happy flapped. Frick I keep squealing, the green smoke and the bear trap in the A of asides. Omg omg omg. FORBIDDEN FRUIT! Is it two am or pm? Gasp! NICO! No Nico, don't jk the date, please. I'm begging you, I can't. (Edit: legendsgates told the server that it was Thomas who texted Nico, not vice versa.) Oh no, he slept through the text notif? Oh no. Logan! Oh, it's two pm. I mean, I figured because of sunlight, but. FFFF 69TH! *snicker* Thomas smirked, too.

Ooh, daily schedule. Degree a couple degrees! Five am Thomas is a bastard. Logan is… very whelmed by all the Thomases. Oh boy, this schedule is… not going well. Snort. Don't mention it. You don't have the time. Did he schedule time for scheduling? That's a lot of alarms.

ARM!!!! Oh is that a bear trap? Oh. Yup. Whoops, that's- oh. Nope. He's fine. Old?? Aging? NICO IN REAL LIFE OMFG AAAAH! HE HAS A FACE!!! Oh. Aging. Hm. Okay, so he bear trap was less physical, more like Remus is trapping Thomas's thoughts. Neat! Also I have to take a break right, now I cannot handle the dramatic music and his face omfg. Aaaaaaaah. Okay I'm good maybe. Oh! That's the face from the thumbnail, nice. Green light in his hair looks nice.

Aw, Logan is concerned about him. He's a good boy. And yikes that's a lot of um. Filth. Is that a nail? "Muck" is- Remus, points for effort, but no, dear. I mean, only if you say it outloud, backwards. K-Cum. Okay, you know what? I'll allow it.

Remus. Rearranging his sentence is less intimidating than you think. I think he's putting back(?) Caressing? A book of Broadway… something. "You couldn't turn anything on, if you tried." WOW, WAY TO BE WRONG, LOGAN. I mean. You know. Uh. I'm just holding this attraction for a friend, it's not mine-

Thomas looks resigned. Hmm. Shiny green notebook, nice. Does that say "call updog?" Mmm. Yep. Yep it did. Lot of Updog on there, on the other hand, Remus's handwriting is gorgeous, wow. Dinner with Updog (can't cancel that again) I may have injured myself laughing at some point.

This. This is that point. Oh my gosh. Who. So freaking close. The freaking tension! Did they censor damn? Yeah, sounds it. FFFFF LOGAN. Janus and Logan wine moms confirmed. Oh my gosh. He just freaking rips the cork out with his teeth. Chug. There's, like so much tension in this episode. Predicting that the screw is him "screwing" with his mind? Yep, nothing. Hmm. What if I choke. Is that Remus's influence? Or Virgil's? "I'd be screwed" Ha! Oh, wow, Logan! Look how much you're putting Thomas's mental health first! Wonder what was on Remus's second list…

Okay what's going on with the roomba. Ayyyy, Intrusive Thoughts! He's so good in this, Logan. WHAT KIND OF RUBE GOLDBERG GARBAGE- oh, garbage disposal, wow this was well set-up oh my gosh, the drawing attention to the garbage disposal, the book he placed there. Never stack your knives on top of anything, guys!

The little 'yes!' Oh. Oh. Um. Okay. Wow. "I don't care about the knife, but the soap!" You guys, no, this can't be canon help. Oh he's cleaning! Ohhhhh, eyepatch. Love it. This feels very reminiscent of Dealing With Anxiety way back when. But with more Remus! Oh no he got his string caught in his weiner.

Bratwurst, whatever. I bet that was not originally in the script. I.e., accident. Hey, Kingdom Hearts! I know he is. Thomas, Logan, or Virgil? The chords before "He said you're wanting to be more honest"!!!!!

Cue freakout. Yeah, it's Virgil. Man if Remus keeps setting these things up, he's like a genius, the physics involved, geez. Oh. Well, listen, not all experiments work the first time. Oh nope. There it- nope. Hmm. Pink panther-esque? Um, sir that's glowing. Sir, that's a keyblade. Oh, Nico again. Coffee, he says, after guzzling wine. Puzzle? Cognitive distortions!!! "It was a stab" Virgil!!! Logan's such a good boy, oh my gosh, I can't. Yeah. Sounds pink panther. I beg your pardon??? Whomst? Love the 'ooh~' in there. Haha, just stops at Logan. Oh, he's trying to get to Logan- ffffff, Remus, oh my gosh. Okay, why are there text alerts but no new texts? Remus, did you wear his shirt while getting stabbed? Rude. Ha! Got an ad for Anxiety/stress, that's funny. Aw, ketchup. Logan how can you be so wrong? Ha! Solenium lycopersicum again. "Yes. You. Am." Help I love him so much. Nico napkin? It's not me, right? He's not contacting him? (Edit: It was me. 😔) Okay, so the thoughts are being very tied up into anxiety, with like being alone, but he's also obviously scared to take a step towards relationship? Maybe??? Man, Remus is so good at these things. Okay, also stress about someone being in his house? Just high stress in general, I gu- !!!!!!!!! Oh hi.

No, Remus, your puppet is being mean- oh, no, that's the, he's just stabby. Mutual stabby? You have no idea how hard I'm looking at his eyeshadow right now.!!!! MUSIC??? Song? Oh, okay, cool. Ahhh, what your momma gave ya. Remus, omfg he's so pouty at lack of stabbing. It's not lost on me that the lighting is purple. WOW, Logan. Willing to see his merit. Squeak squeak flick. He's not pretending he doesn't- yeah. Oh tongue lollipop. What was in his ear??? That he ate???

Manicure on severed hand. Ignoring dummies for dummies. Aw, does Nico have a carrot next to his name? WOAH WHAT!!!! Holy crap, fandom was right-

WAIT ARE HIS EYES ORANGE NO WAIT NO.

THEY ARE!

No, I wasn't ready for this theory to be right! Idk if…… rage/anger/wrath is orange through Logan or if that's a Logan thing or if he's turning into orange, gosh, I,,, really hope not. Nico calling! Ohhhhh, Remus likes that.

Ahhh, Nico. Aww they're cute. Wait, is Logan supposed to be angry at Thomas? Oh. I really liked Procrastination as orange, and. Hmmmmmm. Oh man. We got some. Good, yet heartbreaking Logan there.

Oh my gosh. I'm like. Almost shaking. Oh my gosh. I like. Don't know what to think. Love that totally real phone convo, though with Hello Fresh. Aaaa, what even do I think?! I'm so concerned! On multiple levels! But aw, Nico. I'm reeling. That angry Logan changed everything. Squints that seems lot a lot of paprika. Nico date! Patton!!! Roman!!! Virgil!!! Aw, Logan. Rome didn't fall in a day. "He's giving him permission," WAIT HE'S ANGRY ABOUT THAT TOO??? Okay, Logan's calming down, being okay. OH NO OH NO OH NO THAT WAS HELLA COOL WITH JANUS BUT THE EYES!!!! Crap, orange is anger. Damnit. Chills.

ALSO I had a belated realization at about Janus being in the tree and freaked out about it all day so expect something on that soon.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #logan sanders #character!thomas #nico flores #new video reaction #ts spoilers

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boredout305 · 3 years

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Kid Congo Powers Interview

Kid Congo Powers was a founding member of the Gun Club. He also played with The Cramps and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Powers currently fronts Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds and recently completed a memoir, Some New Kind of Kick.

The following interview focuses on Some New Kind of Kick. In the book Powers recounts growing up in La Puente—a working-class, largely Latino city in Los Angeles County—in the 1960s, as well as his familial, professional and personal relationships. He describes the LA glam-rock scene (Powers was a frequenter of Rodney Bingenheimer’s English Disco), the interim period between glam and punk embodied by the Capitol Records swap meet, as well as LA’s first-wave, late-1970s punk scene.

Well written, edited and awash with amazing photos, Some New Kind of Kick will appeal to fans of underground music as well as those interested in 1960-1980s Los Angeles (think Claude Bessy and Mike Davis). The book will be available from In the Red Records, their first venture into book publishing, soon.

Interview by Ryan Leach

Kid Congo with the Pink Monkey Birds.

Ryan: Some New Kind of Kick reminded me of the New York Night Train oral histories you had compiled about 15 years ago. Was that the genesis of your book?

Kid: That was the genesis. You pinpointed it. Those pieces were done with Jonathan Toubin. It was a very early podcast. Jonathan wanted to do an audio version of my story for his website, New York Night Train. We did that back in the early 2000s. After we had completed those I left New York and moved to Washington D.C. I thought, “I have the outline for a book here.” Jonathan had created a discography and a timeline. I figured, “It’ll be great and really easy. We’ll just fill in some of the blanks and it’ll be done.” Here we are 15 years later.

Ryan: It was well worth it. It reads well. And I love the photographs. The photo of you as a kid with Frankenstein is amazing.

Kid: I’m glad you liked it. You’re the first person not involved in it that I’ve spoken with.

Ryan: As someone from Los Angeles I enjoyed reading about your father’s life and work as a union welder in the 1960s. My grandfather was a union truck driver and my father is a cabinetmaker. My dad’s cousins worked at the General Motors Van Nuys Assembly plant. In a way you captured an old industrial blue-collar working class that’s nowhere near as robust as it once was in Los Angeles. It reminded of Mike Davis’ writings on the subject.

Kid: I haven’t lived in LA for so long that I didn’t realize it doesn’t exist anymore. I felt the times. It was a reflection on my experiences and my family’s experiences. It was very working class. My dad was proud to be a union member. It served him very well. He and my mother were set up for the rest of their lives. I grew up with a sense that he earned an honest living. My parents always told me not to be embarrassed by what you did for work. People would ask me, “What’s your book about? What’s the thrust of it?” As I was writing it, I was like, “I don’t know. I’ll find out when it’s done.” What you mentioned was an aspect of that.

When I started the book and all throughout the writing I had gone to different writers’ workshops. We’d review each other’s work. It was a bunch of people who didn’t know me, didn’t know about music—at least the music I make. I just wanted to see if there was a story there. People were relating to what I was writing, which gave me the confidence to keep going.

Ryan: Some New Kind of Kick is different from Jeffrey Lee Pierce’s autobiography, Go Tell the Mountain. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but think of Pierce’s work as I read yours. Was Go Tell the Mountain on your mind as you were writing?

Kid: When I was writing about Jeffrey—it was my version of the story. It was about my relationship with him. I wasn’t thinking about his autobiography much at all. His autobiography is very different than mine. Nevertheless, there are some similarities. But his book flew off into flights of prose and fantasy. I tried to stay away from the stories that were already out there. The thing that’s interesting about Jeffrey is that everyone has a completely different story to tell about him. Everyone’s relationship with him was different.

Ryan: It’s a spectrum that’s completely filled in.

Kid: Exactly. One of the most significant relationships I’ve had in my life was with Jeffrey. Meeting him changed my life. It was an enduring relationship. It was important for me to tell my story of Jeffrey.

Ryan: The early part of your book covers growing up in La Puente and having older sisters who caught the El Monte Legion Stadium scene—groups like Thee Midniters. You told me years ago that you and Jeffrey were thinking about those days during the writing and recording of Mother Juno (1987).

Kid: That’s definitely true. Growing up in that area is another thing Jeffrey and I bonded over. We were music hounds at a young age. We talked a lot about La Puente, El Monte and San Gabriel Valley’s culture. We were able to pinpoint sounds we heard growing up there—music playing out of cars and oldies mixed in with Jimi Hendrix and Santana. That was the sound of San Gabriel Valley. It wasn’t all lowrider music. We were drawn to that mix of things. I remember “Yellow Eyes” off Mother Juno was our tribute to the San Gabriel Valley sound.

Ryan: You describe the Capitol Records Swap Meet in Some New Kind of Kick. In the pre-punk/Back Door Man days that was an important meet-up spot whose significance remains underappreciated.

Kid: The Capitol Records Swap Meet was a once-a-month event and hangout. It was a congregation of record collectors and music fans. You’d see the same people there over and over again. It was a community. Somehow everyone who was a diehard music fan knew about it. You could find bootlegs there. It went from glam to more of a Back Door Man-influenced vibe which was the harder-edged Detroit stuff—The Stooges and the MC5. You went there looking for oddities and rare records. I was barely a record collector back then. It’s where I discovered a lot of music. You had to be a pretty dedicated music fan to get up at 6 AM to go there, especially if you were a teenager.

Ryan: I enjoyed reading about your experiences as a young gay man in the 1970s. You’d frequent Rodney’s English Disco; I didn’t know you were so close to The Screamers. While not downplaying the prejudices gay men faced in the 1970s, it seemed fortuitous that these places and people existed for you in that post-Stonewall period.

Kid: Yeah. I was obviously drawn to The Screamers for a variety of reasons. It was a funny time. People didn’t really discuss being gay. People knew we were gay. I knew you were gay; you knew I was gay. But the fact that we never openly discussed it was very strange. Part of that was protection. It also had to do with the punk ethos of labels being taboo. I don’t think that The Screamers were very politicized back then and neither was I. We were just going wild. I was super young and still discovering things. I had that glam-rock door to go through. It was much more of a fantasy world than anything based in reality. But it allowed queerness. It struck a chord with me and it was a tribe. However, I did discover later on that glam rock was more of a pose than a sexual revolution.

With some people in the punk scene like The Screamers and Gorilla Rose—they came from a background in drag and cabaret. I didn’t even know that when I met them. I found it out later on. They were already very experienced. They had an amazing camp aesthetic. I learned a lot about films and music through them. They were so advanced. It was all very serendipitous. I think my whole life has been serendipitous, floating from one thing to another.

Ryan: You were in West Berlin when the Berlin Wall was breached in November 1989. “Here’s another historical event. I’m sure Kid Congo is on the scene.”

Kid: I know! The FBI must have a dossier on me. I was in New York on 9/11 too.

Ryan: A person who appears frequently in your book is your cousin Theresa who was tragically murdered. I take it her death remains a cold case.

Kid: Cold case. Her death changed my entire life. It was all very innocent before she died. That stopped everything. It was a real source of trauma. All progress up until that point went on hold until I got jolted out of it. I eventually decided to experience everything I could because life is short. That trauma fueled a lot of bad things, a lot of self-destructive impulses. It was my main demon that chased me throughout my early adult life. It was good to write about it. It’s still there and that’s probably because her murder remains unsolved. I have no resolution with it. I was hoping the book would give me some closure. We’ll see if it does.

Ryan: Theresa was an important person in your life that you wanted people to know about. You champion her.

Kid: I wanted to pay tribute to her. She changed my life. I had her confidence. I was at a crossroads at that point in my life, dealing with my sexuality. I wanted people to know about Theresa beyond my family. My editor Chris Campion really pulled that one out of me. It was a story that I told, but he said, “There’s so much more to this.” I replied, “No! Don’t make me do it.” I had a lot of stories, but it was great having Chris there to pull them together to create one big story. My original concept for the book was a coming-of-age story. Although it still is, I was originally going to stop before I even joined the Gun Club (in 1979). It was probably because I didn’t want to look at some of the things that happened afterwards. It was very good for my music. Every time I got uncomfortable, I’d go, “Oh, I’ve got to make a record and go on tour for a year and not think about this.” A lot of it was too scary to even think about. But the more I did it, the less scary it became and the more a story emerged. I had a very different book in mind than the one I completed. I’m glad I was pushed in that direction and that I was willing to be pushed. I wanted to tell these stories, but it was difficult.

Ryan: Of course, there are lighter parts in your book. There are wonderful, infamous characters like Bradly Field who make appearances.

Kid: Bradly Field was also a queer punker. He was the partner of Kristian Hoffman of The Mumps. I met Kristian in Los Angeles. We all knew Lance Loud of The Mumps because he had starred in An American Life (1973) which was the first reality TV show. It aired on PBS. I was a fan of The Mumps. Bradly came out to LA with Kristian for an elongated stay during a Mumps recording session. Of course, Bradly and I hit it off when we met. Bradly was a drummer—he played a single drum and a cracked symbol—in Teenage Jesus and the Jerks. Bradly was a real character. He was kind of a Peter Lorre, misanthropic miscreant. Bradly was charming while abrasively horrible at the same time. We were friends and I always remained on Bradly’s good side so there was never a problem.

Bradly had invited me and some punkers to New York. He said that if we ever made it out there that we could stay with him. He probably had no idea we’d show up a month later. Bradly Field was an important person for me to know—an unashamedly gay, crazy person. He was a madman. I had very little interest in living a typical life. That includes a typical gay life. Bradly was just a great gay artist I met in New York when I was super young. He was also the tour manager of The Cramps at one point. You can imagine what that was like. Out of Lux and Ivy’s perverse nature they unleashed him on people.

Ryan: He was the right guy to have in your corner if the club didn’t pay you.

Kid: Exactly. Who was going to say “no” to Bradly?

Ryan: You mention an early Gun Club track called “Body and Soul” that I’m unfamiliar with. I know you have a rehearsal tape of the original Creeping Ritual/Gun Club lineup (Kid Congo Powers, Don Snowden, Brad Dunning and Jeffrey Lee Pierce). Are any of these unreleased tracks on that tape?

Kid: No. Although I do have tapes, there’s no Creeping Ritual material on them. I spoke with Brad (Dunning) and he has tapes too. We both agreed that they’re unlistenable. They’re so terrible. Nevertheless, I’m going to have them digitized and I’ll take another listen to them. “Body and Soul” is an early Creeping Ritual song. At the time we thought, “Oh, this sounds like a Mink DeVille song.” At least in our minds it did. To the best of my ability I did record an approximation of “Body and Soul” on the Congo Norvell record Abnormals Anonymous (1997). I sort of reimagined it. That song was the beginning of things for me with Jeffrey. It wasn’t a clear path when we started The Gun Club. We didn’t say, “Oh, we’re going to be a blues-mixed-with-punk band.” It was a lot of toying around. It had to do with finding a style. Jeffrey had a lot of ideas. We also had musical limitations to consider. We were trying to turn it into something cohesive. There was a lot of reggae influence at the beginning. Jeffrey was a visionary who wanted to make the Gun Club work. Of course, to us he was a really advanced musician. We thought (bassist) Don Snowden was the greatest too. What’s funny is that I saw Don in Valencia, Spain, where he lives now. He came to one of our (Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds) shows a few years ago. He said, “Oh, I didn’t know how to play!”

Ryan: “I knew scales.”

Kid: Exactly. It was all perception. But we were ambitious and tenacious. We were certain we could make something really good out of what we had. That was it. We knew we had good taste in music. That was enough for us to continue on.

Ryan: I knew about The Cramps’ struggles with IRS Records and Miles Copeland. However, it took on a new meaning reading your book. Joining The Cramps started with a real high for you, recording Psychedelic Jungle (1981), and then stagnation occurred due to contractual conflicts.

Kid: There was excitement, success and activity for about a year or two. And then absolutely nothing. As I discuss in my book—and you can ask anyone who was in The Cramps—communication was not a big priority for Lux and Ivy. I was left to my own devices for a while. We were building, building, building and then it stopped. I wasn’t privy to what was going on. I knew they were depressed about it. The mood shifted. It was great recording Psychedelic Jungle and touring the world. The crowds were great everywhere we went. It was at that point that I started getting heavy into drugs. The time off left me with a lot of time to get into trouble. It was my first taste of any kind of success or notoriety. I’m not embarrassed to say that I fell into that trip: “Oh, you know who I am and I have all these musician friends now.” It was the gilded ‘80s. Things were quite decadent then. There was a lot of hard drug use. It wasn’t highly frowned upon to abuse those types of drugs in our circle. What was the reputation of The Gun Club? The drunkest, drug-addled band around. So there was a lot of support to go in that direction. Who knew it was going to go so downhill? We weren’t paying attention to consequences. Consequences be damned. So the drugs sapped a lot of energy out of it too.

I recorded the one studio album (Psychedelic Jungle) with The Cramps and a live album (Smell of Female). The live record was good and fun, but it was a means to an end. It was recorded to get out of a contract. The Cramps were always going to do it their way. Lux and Ivy weren’t going to follow anyone’s rules. I don’t know why people expected them to. To this day, I wonder why people want more. I mean, they gave you everything. People ask me, “When is Ivy going to play again?” I tell them, “She’s done enough. She paid her dues. The music was great.”

Ryan: I think after 30-something years of touring, she’s earned her union card.

Kid: Exactly. She’s done her union work.

Ryan: In your book you discuss West Berlin in the late 1980s. That was a strange period of extreme highs and lows. During that time you were playing with the Bad Seeds, working with people like Wim Wenders (in Wings of Desire) and witnessed the collapse of the Berlin Wall and the GDR. Nevertheless, it was a very dark period marred by substance abuse. Luckily, you came out of it unscathed. As you recount, some people didn’t.

Kid: It was a period of extremes. In my mind, for years, I rewrote that scene. I would say, “Berlin was great”—and it was, that part was true—and then I’d read interviews with Nick Cave and Mick Harvey and they’d say, “Oh, the Tender Prey (1988) period was just the worst. It’s hard to even talk about it.” And I was like, “It was great! What are you talking about?” Then when I started writing about it, I was like, “Oh, fuck! It really wasn’t the best time.” I had been so focused on the good things and not the bad things. Prior to writing my book, I really hadn’t thought about how incredibly dark it was. That was a good thing for me to work out. Some very bad things happened to people around me. But while that was happening, it was a real peak for me as a musician. Some of the greatest work I was involved with was being done then. And yet I still chose to self-destruct. It was a case of right place, right time. But it was not necessarily what I thought it was.

Ryan: Digressing back a bit, when we would chat years back I would ask you where you were at with this project. You seemed to be warming up to it as time went on. And I finally found a copy of the group’s album in Sydney, Australia, a year ago. I’m talking about Fur Bible (1985).

Kid: Oh, you got it?

Ryan: I did.

Kid: In Australia?

Ryan: Yes. It was part of my carry-on luggage.

Kid: I’m sure I can pinpoint the person who sold it to you.

Ryan: Are you coming around to that material now? I like the record.

Kid: Oh, yeah. I hated it for so long. People would say to me, “Oh, the Fur Bible record is great.” I’d respond, “No. It can’t possibly be great. I’m not going to listen to it again, so don’t even try me.” Eventually, I did listen to it and I thought, “Oh, this is pretty good.” I came around to it. I like it.

Ryan: You’ve made the transition!

Kid: I feel warmly about it. I like all of the people involved with it. That was kind of a bad time too. It was that post-Gun Club period. I felt like I had tried something unsuccessful with Fur Bible. I had a little bit of shame about that. Everything else I had been involved with had been successful, in my eyes. People liked everything else and people didn’t really like Fur Bible. It was a sleeper.

Ryan: It is.

Kid: There’s nothing wrong with it. It was the first time I had put my voice on a record and it just irritated the hell out of me. It was a first step for me.

Ryan: You close your book with a heartfelt tribute to Jeffrey Lee Pierce. You wonder how your life would’ve turned out had you not met Jeffrey outside of that Pere Ubu show in 1979. Excluding family, I don’t know if I’ve ever met anyone who’s had that sort of impact on my life.

Kid: As I was getting near the end of the book I was trying to figure out what it was about. A lot of it was about Jeffrey. Everything that moved me into becoming a musician and the life I lived after that was because of him. It was all because he said, “Here’s a guitar. You’re going to learn how to play it.” He had that confidence that I could do it. It was a mentorship. He would say, “You’re going to do this and you’re going to be great at it.” I was like, “Okay.” Jeffrey was the closest thing I had to a brother. We could have our arguments and disagreements, but in the end it didn’t matter. What mattered was our bond. Writing it down made it all clearer to me. His death sent me into a tailspin. I was entering the unknown. Jeffrey was like a cord that I had been hanging onto for so long and it was gone. I was more interested in writing about my relationship with him than about the music of the Gun Club. A lot of people loved Jeffrey. But there were others who said they loved him with disclaimers. I wanted to write something about Jeffrey without the disclaimers. That seemed like an important task—to honor him in a truthful manner.

Ryan: I’m glad that you did that. Jeffrey has his detractors, but they all seem to say something along the lines of “the guy still had the most indefatigable spirit and drive of any person I’ve ever known.”

Kid: That’s what drove everyone crazy!

Ryan: This book took you 15 years to finish. Completing it has to feel cathartic.

Kid: I don’t know. Maybe it will when I see the printed book. When I was living in New York there was no time for reflection. I started it after I left New York, but it was at such a slow pace. It was done piecemeal. I wanted to give up at times. I had a lot of self-doubt. And like I said, I’d just go on tour for a year and take a long break. The pandemic made me finally put it to bed. I couldn’t jump up and go away on tour anymore. It feels great to have it done. When I read it through after the final edit I was actually shocked. I was moved by it. It was a feeling of accomplishment. It’s a different feeling than what you get with music. Looking at it as one story has been an eye-opener for me. I thought to myself, “How did I do all of that?”

I see the book as the story of a music fan. I think most musicians start out as fans. Why would you do it otherwise? I never stopped being a fan. All of the opportunities that came my way were because I was a fan.

#kidcongopowers #interviews #gunclub #jeffreyleepierce #cramps #Badseeds

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juno-of-the-sky · 3 years

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mystical / koutarou bokuto

every night, you come to the forest to practice violin. tonight, bokuto happens to be there.

tags: violinist reader, gender-neutral reader

word count: 1,706k

a/n: hope you like this one! this was my first time writing bokuto that wasn’t extremely self indulgent (although it kind of was with the violin) so he might be a little out of character sorry!! i am actually a violinist myself so like,, if you ever wanna talk about violin my ask box is always open teehee

Bokuto had a habit of finding himself in forests in the early hours of the morning.

Mostly, he liked the atmosphere — he had told this to Akaashi once, but he couldn’t understand his response because he started rambling quietly about nature being one of his biggest inspirations, the importance of being somewhere with a good atmosphere, more art student-esque lingo.

Akaashi had actually pointed out this particular forest to him once — a dismissive, “Pretty trees,” and then the continuation of walking. Something about that forest had caught Bokuto’s attention, so, at a time he was definitely supposed to be asleep, he climbed out of his bedroom window armed with a flashlight and planned to find a nice tree.

He found something much, much more beautiful.

At first, the violin music coming from a few feet away startled him. He was considering running off like this was a horror movie, but something drew him to it — so he navigated through the brush until he finally came across you.

You were dressed in a black hoodie, the hood pulled over your face so you weren’t visible, but that didn’t matter to Bokuto — he knew that you had to be gorgeous. How else would you make this beautiful music flowing into the air from the violin you held against your jaw? You were turned toward a stream, playing a concerto from memory — you had been practicing it for so long that your fingers hit the proper fingerings just as easy as breathing or eating. He was utterly entranced and engaged in your performance, despite the fact you didn’t even notice he was there. It wasn’t until you stopped abruptly and he impulsively started clapping that you whipped around and screamed, your bow falling to your side.

“Oh — I’m sorry!” Bokuto said immediately, starting to feel guilty about scaring you. “I didn’t mean to shock you!” Oh my God.

You recognized his face, and somehow that was the most horrible feeling in the world. You’d seen this boy before, at school; you’d never been more thankful to be wearing a mask that probably made you unidentifiable.

“I—It’s fine,” You managed to say, still recovering from your stomach falling to your feet. “H—How long have you been here?” He tapped his foot against the grass as he looked up at the trees, pondering this. “Um… good question! Maybe three minutes?” “Oh.” So he hadn’t been watching your whole performance. That was good — if he’d watched the entire thing, you’d think you would just keel over and die right there on the grass. This was humiliating, having this cute boy you knew from school discover you practicing violin in the forest at 2 AM like some kind of horror movie antagonist. Even as you stood there, violin at your sides, you felt your face start to burn up.

“You’re so good at violin!” Bokuto gushed, not helping your rapidly rising temperature. “I felt like you were putting some sort of spell on me; it was incredible!” “Aw, you’re too sweet,” and it was true because you weren’t that good at violin. You’d only started a year ago, and despite your teacher telling you that you were a natural, you never believed her. “I just have a lot of motivation to do this,” You’d respond quietly most of the time to compliments. In truth, you didn’t like to take compliments. It made you feel vain — but he looked like the type to cry if you didn’t take his flattery, so you just smiled underneath the mask.

You glanced down at your wrist — it was getting late. Even though it was Friday, you still needed to sleep.

“I should go,” You murmured. “Um… thanks for sticking around.”

You elbowed past him. As you went, he called out, “I’m Bokuto!” “It’s good to meet you, Bokuto.” And you couldn’t see it, but he beamed. It’s a shame he was so caught up in his own wonder that he forgot to ask you your name.

The next night, Saturday, Bokuto waited for what seemed like forever until you finally came through the brush, your violin case in your right hand and phone on its flashlight in your left. Usually, you came to practice in the dark, but something tonight told you to bring a light.

His excitable face being the first thing you saw when you laid the bright light on the grove made you scream and stumble backward.

“I’m sorry!” He was above you in a second, holding out his hand to help you up. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“It’s fine,” You choked out, getting deja vu from this whole situation. “Um… did you come to...?” “I came to watch you again. I couldn’t get that out of my head all day!”

Your face heated up again and stayed that way as you tuned your instrument and played a quick chord. The sound, bright and pure, echoed throughout the grove. Perfect.

As you began to string away mindlessly, Bokuto asked, “How long have you been doing this?” “Violin for about a year,” You responded. “Practicing here… also about a year.” “It’s almost mystical here! You’re like some kind of forest spirit.”

You couldn’t help a smile — you enchanted him so much, and you didn’t know why, but it was endearing. You didn’t think of yourself as anyone extraordinary; he was probably halfway convinced you were some river deity.

You finished the song, your mind still somewhere else, and put your violin down as Bokuto clapped excitedly, a one-man audience. “That was amazing!” “Haha… thanks.” And for the first time, you didn’t feel so reluctant to take his compliments.

Bokuto kept coming; night after night, you’d go to the grove with your violin to find the gray-haired boy sitting on the ground waiting patiently. You’d make small talk while you tuned and then play something— sometimes it was new, sometimes it was something he’d already heard. But he never got tired of hearing that bow drag across the strings.

On the third night of the third month of doing this, as you tuned your violin strings, Bokuto asked a different question. Usually, he just asked you about the activities of the day, or you let him talk about something that happened at volleyball or something Akaashi did— but tonight, he seemed more interested.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Bokuto asked suddenly. You paused— you had never told him your name, had you?

After a bit of silence, you reluctantly responded, “(Y/N).” “I like your name! It suits you.” Bokuto’s compliment made your cheeks heat up— with delight or embarrassment, you didn’t know. All you knew was that you liked Bokuto. You liked his presence; you liked talking to him, no matter how childish he could be somehow; most of all, you liked when he watched you play the violin with his glittering eyes. You liked him a lot.

“Thanks,” You murmured. “I like your name, too.” “Thanks!”

The next night, Bokuto asked you what you looked like.

“I…” was your flushed, stuttery response. He wanted to know what you looked like? But wouldn’t he recognize you from school? Somehow, that was your worst nightmare. “Um, I look okay, I guess.”

“How long is your hair?” Tripping over your words, you managed to whisper your hair length and color to him. He nodded like it was a profound secret, saying, “Mhm!”

You were about to say something new when he said, “Can I see?” “What?!” “I wanna see your face,” He said with an innocent beam. “I’m sure you’re perfect!” “Oh, trust me, you don’t want to—” “But I do!” His voice was pouty now, and it made your heart thump against your chest so hard you almost worried he would be able to hear it. Should you do it?

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone about here,” You demanded, pointing a finger at him. “If you do, I’ll never come back.” Bokuto held out his pinky at you, a gesture you realized much too late that he was making a pinky promise. How long had it been since you’d made a pinky promise? Regardless, you hooked your pinky on his and squeezed. It was set in stone, at least if you still followed the rules of an elementary school.

Shyly, you hooked your left hand on the top of your mask and your right on your hood and pulled them down simultaneously.

Bokuto gasped— a gesture which you just took as a compliment, but then he flapped his hands and said, “I recognize you!” Your heart sank straight down to your shoes. “R—Really?” “I knew I knew someone named (Y/N)! I’ve seen you watching practice sometimes!” It was true that, over the past few weeks, you’d sneak to his volleyball practice once or twice a week and watch the practice going on with your homework binder open next to you. It was funny how Bokuto thought you were mesmerizing when he could just… play like that. You could never take your eyes off his hands— each day, you ended with homework hardly touched and heart swelling times a million. You liked watching him.

“I guess I kinda…” You admitted shyly, tugging on a strand of your hair that was exactly how you described it to him. “Came to watch you practice…”

“I’m honored,” Bokuto said with starry eyes, and you felt like he actually meant it. “Honored that such a lovely person would take the time to watch me!” “To you just the same,” You giggled. “Honestly, you don’t know how much I’ve looked forward to playing violin for you.”

He sat down on the grass, making you feel the need to follow. The next thing you knew, your hands were linked together. Your hand fit against his perfectly, almost like your palms were molded to fit flawlessly together. Nobody had ever held your hand like this… you weren’t about to complain.

“Maybe we can skip out on violin for tonight,” You whispered, a suggestion you never thought you would say. “This is… kind of nice.” Bokuto’s response was immediate— to pull you against his chest. It made your eyes widen, but… you liked it.

He didn’t say anything, but you figured that he was perfectly content to follow your suggestion and hold you in this strangely mystical forest until the moon sank low under the trees and the dawn was there again.

have something you’d like to see me write? send me a request!

#actual writing.💫#koutarou bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto koutarou #koutarou bokuto #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #bokuto x reader #bokuto fanfiction #the sacred five.💫

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journalxxx · 3 years

Text

By Hook or by Crook (2)

May 1st, 2270

“Hello, Izuku.” “Hi, dad.” Izuku hadn’t exactly been dreading this conversation, but he hadn’t been looking forward to it either. He’d hoped his mom would do all the talking, having to break the news to his friends had been hard enough. For him. Most of them seemed to have gotten quite the kick out of it. “How are you? Your mother told me you’ve been having a rough couple of weeks.” “Mh.” “Still upset over that visit?” “Mh.” “Speak, son. Sulking doesn’t translate well over the phone.” His father chided gently.

Izuku sighed. “The doctor said I’m never going to get a quirk. I’m sorry.” “Whatever for? It’s not like you have any choice in the matter. Quirks are innate, surely you know that.” “Yes, I do.” Izuku said, staring at the paused frame of All Might’s debut video on the computer screen. The reflection of his own miserable face was superimposed with the triumphant silhouette of the hero. “But I’m sorry anyway. You have such a cool quirk… and mom’s useful too. I could become a great hero with one of them, but I’m never going to get any.” “Again, that’s none of your fault. And I wouldn’t be so sure of that anyway.” “Uh?” Izuku gulped, gripping the phone tightly. “Y-you don’t think I’d make a good hero?” “No, that’s not what I mean.” His father chuckled. “I mean that I wouldn’t lose hope just yet. You’re very young, there’s still plenty of time for your quirk to manifest.” “But the doctor said that all quirks appear before one is four years old. And I’m four. And I have the extra toe joint-” “Tsk! Some doctor they assigned you. As if one could unerringly guess the nature and development of something as unpredictable as a quirk with a single test. An x-ray, of all things. Ancient technology.” “The doctor said there was a study...” “I have an extra toe joint too, you know.” Izuku’s father laughed hearing his son’s surprised gasp. “Studies like the one your doctor mentioned draw conclusions based on the analysis of hundreds, thousands of cases. Those conclusions may hold true for the majority of them, but there are always outliers. Having that oh-so-precious joint and a quirk is indeed rare, but not unheard of.” “B-But…” Izuku’s eyes burned with the feeling of impending tears. He hadn’t expected his father’s reaction to be like this. No one had even remotely doubted the validity of the doctor’s opinion. No one. It almost hurt to hope. “I’m also too old…” “My own quirk didn’t show until I was… fifteen? Maybe sixteen. Way older than you are, anyway. Another important point to consider, don’t you think?” Izuku sniffled. Then cried, quietly. His father remained silent as the boy let the tears flow freely, wiping them on his arm now and then. There was a tangled ball of emotions deep in his chest, that he couldn’t quite unravel. After a couple of minutes though, the sobs abated and he felt better. Better than he had been feeling before his mom handed him the phone. “...Do you really think the doctor was wrong?” “You shouldn’t believe everything doctors tell you. My personal physician keeps calling me ‘the peak of biological and anthropological evolution’, but that’s because he’s been fishing for a raise for years. Clearly you’d expect a Darwinian champion to be able to walk under the sun without protection for more than five minutes without turning into a peeling tomato.” “Uh? Does that really happen to you?” “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that I’m albino? My skin is very sensitive to sunlight, and it burns easily. I have atrocious eyesight too.” “I didn’t know that.” Izuku winced in sympathy. “I’m sorry. That sounds terrible.” “Not nearly as much as you think. I have plenty of skills and tools at my disposal to compensate. It isn’t an inconvenience at all these days, although it did cause me some grief when I was a child.” His father’s tone got softer. “Sometimes it does feel like our bodies are our own worst enemies, doesn’t it?” Izuku hummed in assent, very much agreeing with the sentiment. “I’m happy it doesn’t hurt you any more.” “And I’m glad you didn’t inherit this nuisance from me.” A sudden thought made its unwelcome way in Izuku’s head. “If… If I didn’t inherit your skin and eyes… maybe I won’t inherit your quirk either…” “Izuku.” His father’s tone was kind but firm. There were times when his presence, even just through his voice, felt way more real and solid than that of many people Izuku habitually shared a room with. “Your ability will emerge one day, I’m positive of that. Just give it time and don’t agonize over it.” Izuku nodded, even though he realized that wouldn’t translate well over the phone either. “...Okay.” “Now, what else have you been up to in this past month, other than brooding over a criminally incompetent diagnosis?” Not much, honestly, but Izuku told him anyway. As he kept chatting, his heart grew lighter than it had been in weeks. Mom did always say that his father was a good listener.

July 1st, 2272 “They were talking about it on TV yesterday. It’s an old incident from some years ago, before All Might met Nighteye!” “I see...” “Not many people know about it, because there’s no villain involved, and villains make all the stories more interesting! But it’s a great story nonetheless!” Izuku rattled on enthusiastically, taking advantage of his father’s unresponsive compliance. “Uh-huh...” “So this boy was having some big troubles, I think, and he jumped into a river because he didn’t know what to do about them. But luckily All Might was around! Do you know what he did?” “He offered to cover all the expenses for the years of therapy the boy would need afterwards?” “Uh… They didn’t say that on TV. I don’t know. I think he just rescued him from the river.” “That doesn’t seem to address the underlying problem.” His father commented icily. “Daaad, you’re ruining the story.” Izuku chided him. “Anyway, the funny part is that this boy had a quirk that could turn water into vinegar, and he activated it in a panic while he was drowning.” “Mh. A peculiar quirk...” “So All Might got all drenched in vinegar when he dove in to save him. He made this very silly face in front of the cameras, it was great! And when the boy apologized for causing trouble, guess what All Might told him?” “I’m sorry I’m the living embodiment of this unfair, hypocritical society that has driven you to the brink of despair?” “No. He said,” Izuku continued, breezing past his father’s petty remarks with practiced ease, “It is I who should thank you. My skin’s looking ten years younger now.” “Oh my God…” The man groaned, and a loud thunk-crash noise accompanied his words. “Oh, come on!” Izuku giggled, covering his mouth with his free hand. “It’s so funny!” “Just because they’re called ‘dad jokes’ doesn’t mean I’m legally obligated to laugh at them.” “But it is funny! All Might’s the funniest! Did you know that he just wrote a joke book? It’s called All Might’s Gags and Jokes: A Compendium. It already has amazing reviews! They say it’s warm and relatable and cy.. cyclical…” “He wrote a joke book. A veritable Renaissance man, this one...” His father muttered. Izuku heard something clink in the background. Probably the pieces of whatever his father dropped. “Mom says she’ll buy it for my birthday!” Izuku added, swinging his whole body on his chair in sheer excitement. “That is such a poor use of your remittance. I’ll need to have a couple of words with her…” “It’s for my education!” Izuku enunciated with solemnity, straightening his posture. “There’s a whole chapter of American puns and word plays! It will help me learn English!” “If you want to learn English on your own so soon, please choose a decent source. Start with basic grammar and alphabet books, watch some subtitled shows and movies to get the hang of the correct pronunciation-” “I’m learning a lot from All Might already! The catchphrase he used when he was in college in California was I am here! When he’s surprised, he says Oh my goodness! When he doesn’t believe something, he says Nonsense!” Izuku parroted, taking great care of imitating All Might’s confident, surprised and disbelieving expressions respectively. They would be lost on his father, but he needed to practice them anyway. “If that’s a good American accent, I’m the next Symbol of Peace.” “Dad.” Izuku said, suddenly very serious. He had a very important question to ask, and it had been a long time coming. “Why do you always make fun of him? It’s like… It’s almost like you don’t like him at all.” The words sounded so wrong he almost wasn’t brave enough to say them. Izuku would have been mortified if anyone had moved such an accusation on him. “I suppose he has a sort of… charisma about him.” His father admitted ruefully. “I can’t say it strikes any chords with me though.” “Are you just jealous of him?” Izuku asked shrewdly. “Kacchan also talks a lot of trash about All Might, but it’s obvious he’s just jealous. It’s all right if you are, though, I mean, he’s so-” “I’m this close to hanging up, Izuku.” “But- but how can you not like All Might?! Everyone likes All Might! Boys and girls, children and grown-ups! From age 0 to 100!” “...I guess I just don’t fit the target demographic then.” Izuku huffed. “You’re so boring, dad.” “Says the one who’s been talking my ear off about the same topic for the last forty minutes.” The boy frowned, nibbling at his lip. “...Sorry. Am I annoying you?” “I’ll admit I may have hit my monthly tolerance limit of All Might trivia. Don’t worry about it though.” Izuku did in fact stop worrying, his father’s amusement clearly detectable in his voice. “I think I’ll be able to bear with your unabashed enthusiasm until you hit your mandatory disillusioned teenage phase. Then we’ll see if that obnoxiously cheery act of his will still resonate with you.”

June 2nd, 2274 “His normal body temperature is about two degrees higher than the average. Around 38-39 °C.” “And what can you deduce from that?” Izuku’s father goaded. The boy stared at the scribbles in his notebook in deep thought. “Uhm… that it’s difficult to tell if he has a fever or not?” His father laughed, but not unkindly. “I wouldn’t think so. You just said yourself that that is his normal temperature. Therefore, I wouldn’t call Endeavor’s doctor unless his thermometer read more than 39.5 °C, probably.” “Right.” Izuku nodded. That was obvious, wasn’t it? Why hadn’t he understood that on his own? His father didn’t seem to mind his blunder though. “Try again.” “I think…” Izuku’s eyes were just about to bore a hole into his rough sketch of the hero’s costume. He gave up after the silence started to make him uncomfortable though. “...I don’t know. What can I deduce from that?” “Hm… You did bring up an interesting point. Do you know how fever works, Izuku?” “Yeah. Your body temperature rises when you’re sick. If it rises too much, you can get in serious trouble, you could even die. It never really gets that bad though.” “But why does it rise? What does your body accomplish by doing that?” “Uh…” Izuku frowned. He was sure he’d read or heard something about that, but the details escaped him at the moment. “To help you fight off the sickness, right? You feel worse at first, but it actually helps you get better.” “Exactly. Most bacteria and viruses that infect men thrive and multiply optimally at around 37 °C, which is the average person’s normal body temperature. But the growth of these microorganisms is hindered when the environment gets too hot. That is the principle that makes fever useful for humans. As your body gets hotter, it debilitates the invasors, so that your immune system can remove them more easily.” “..Oh.” It was a pity that his father called him only once a month, Izuku could have easily listened to him for hours every day. He always had so many interesting things to say about so many different subjects, and he always exposed them so neatly. “So. Can you deduce anything new now?” “Uh, uhm… He… I guess he...” Izuku snapped out of his reverie. Right, this was a conversation, not a lesson. He went over the new information in his head as quickly as he could. Higher temperature than normal... Fever... Microorganisms... Immune syst- Oh! “He heals quicker than- no, wait! He doesn’t get sick at all! Because he’s always too hot for the microorganisms! They can’t grow in his body!” “Excellent reasoning!” His father’s warm praise made Izuku’s chest swell with pride. “Obviously he isn’t completely immune to any and all infections, there are lots of exceptions to the mechanism I just explained to you. But yes, I do believe it’s safe to assume that our esteemed Flame Hero suffers from the occasional seasonal maladies far less often than the general population, if at all.” “That’s so cool…” Izuku immediately added the new data to his notes, almost breaking the tip of the pencil in his enthusiasm. “Is that what you wanted me to deduce? Or did you explain that just because I brought up the fever thing?” “I was actually thinking of something else. But, on second thought, it may be too technical a topic for an eight-year-old.” “...Can you tell me about it anyway?” “Of course.” Izuku would never not be grateful for the patience his father had, never denying him any clarification on anything. He was just about the only adult who never got tired of his questions. Even his mom sometimes hid her fatigue behind a mildly insincere I don’t know. “High heat isn’t exactly conductive to the activity of human cells either. That’s one of the reasons why you feel exhausted and achy when you have a fever, your body struggles to keep doing what it’s supposed to do above its normal temperature range. But Endeavor not only is at peak condition at 39 °C, he can also withstand open flames with a much higher temperature. This suggests that his cells must be fundamentally different from the average person’s on a biochemical level, that his quirk must provide some particularly efficient cellular mechanism to prevent heat damage. One example might be some dedicated enzymes to protect proteins from denaturation, but now I’m entering mere speculation.” A pause. “Did you follow me?” “...Kind of.” Izuku said, kind of lying but not entirely. He had followed most of that. He scrawled and circled a couple of terms he hadn’t grasped - Biochemical - Enzymes - Denaturation - on the page. He didn’t want to waste his father’s time by asking him to explain the meaning of words he could easily look up later on his own. “The gist of it is that Endeavor’s Hellflame has at least two facets. Not only ‘creating fire’, but also ‘not incinerating himself’. The first trait would be a fatal liability without the second.” “Got it!” Izuku cheered. Now that he had understood completely. “You sure know a lot about quirks, dad! Like, a lot! About anything, really!” “For the sake of intellectual honesty, it must be said that it isn’t difficult to impress a primary schooler.” His father laughed. “I’m just older than you.” “How much older?” Izuku asked, realizing for the first time that no one had ever told him his father’s age. “Oh, by a lot. Centuries.” Izuku cackled. “You can’t be that old. You still go to work. Our neighbors are 80 and they’re already retired.” “I do try to keep a youthful outlook on life. But yes, quirks fascinate me quite a bit. And they make for the perfect topic to distract you from your incessant yapping about All Might.” “Speaking of All Might-” “No, I-” His father sighed theatrically. “I just walked into this one, didn’t I?” “Yep.” Izuku grinned. “What about his quirk? Do you know anything about it? He never gives straight answers when people ask him about it…” “That may be the single sign of intelligence he’s ever displayed. The more your enemies know about your quirk, the easier it is for them to find your weaknesses. I’m surprised the other pro heroes aren’t as reserved.” “I wonder why All Might does that, though. His quirk is… pretty obvious.” Izuku pondered. “It just makes him strong. Very strong. Like, the strongest ever. But that’s it.” “Allegedly, yes. But as you noticed yourself, if raw power was all there was to it, there would be no reason to skirt around the issue in interviews, no?” “So there must be something else… What do you think it might be?” “I think it would be no less than cruel to deprive you of the thrill of carrying out your own research.” Izuku let out a dissatisfied moan, and his father chuckled. “You are already so very proficient at it. Your mother told me you’ve already filled a whole notebook with hero and quirk analyses.” “Oh, ehr… It’s just stuff I read here and there…” “Mh, I’ve heard enough of your ‘stuff’ to know that there’s more than random factoids in that head of yours. In fact…” Izuku felt his cheeks warm for the compliment. “I think you’ve gotten old and judicious enough to be trusted with my emergency number.” “Uh? What emergency number?” “It’s a phone number I’ll always answer to, on any day and at any hour, in case you may find yourself in a bad situation. Hopefully you’ll never need it, but better safe than sorry. Now…” His father’s voice raised slightly, drowning out Izuku’s impending interruption. “Can I rely on the fact that you are aware that desperately wanting to tell me that All Might saved a kitten from a meteor does not qualify as an emergency?” Izuku pouted. “I know what an emergency is, dad.” “Good. Ask your mother to give you the number then. Don’t save it on your phone or write it anywhere. Memorize it, and be responsible with it.”

December 3rd, 2275 Sorry for the long silence. I had an accident on the job and I won’t be able to speak clearly for a while. We can talk with the included devices. Use your ring finger to activate them. Usual days, usual hours. Hisashi That short note held the first words Izuku had received from his father in the last five months. The first month he hadn’t phoned, Izuku had felt slightly disappointed, but understanding. His father was a busy man, surely something very important must have been requiring his full-time attention. It was fine, Izuku was confident he could manage to sweet-talk him into a double-length call the following month to make up for that. The second month, he had started to worry. His mother hadn’t heard from his father either. It was unprecedented not to hear from him for such a long time. Since Izuku could remember, his father had never skipped one of their monthly calls. They often talked on the first day of every month, and he kept trying to contact them exactly once each following day if his calls were missed. He never failed to reach them past the third day. He always called from a hidden number, so trying to get hold of him was not an option. The third month, Izuku’s mother had decided to use the emergency number. She hadn’t been able to get through to her husband, but the polite colleague of his who had picked up had reassured her that he was indisposed but overall fine, and would get in touch with them as soon as possible… which could still take a while. Curiously, the coworker had also instructed them to collect a sample of their fingerprints and send them to a specific address. Izuku had been mystified by the request, but his mother had readily agreed, commenting that it was “not the strangest thing Hisashi’s ever asked for”. The silent wait that followed had been a little uneasy, but not harrowing. Izuku and his mother reread the message a couple of times before opening the box they’d just been delivered. Inside were only the two mentioned devices with their respective chargers, snuggled among waterproof packaging and stuffing. They looked very much like ordinary mobile phones, except they had no buttons or ports on any side. Some quick experimentation proved that they could be turned on simply by pressing the indicated finger on the touchscreen. The display showed a very minimalistic chat interface, with a fixed red dot on the top left corner. No amount of tapping on the screen could bring up the virtual keyboard though, which was puzzling. There was no way to access the rest of the phone’s functions, if it even had any. It was the third day of the month, so technically still within the familiar communication window. Izuku kept poking and prodding at the buttonless phone for the whole afternoon until eventually, shortly after dinner, the red dot at the top of the chat became green. A minute later, a message popped up. Hello, Izuku. Izuku almost dropped his cup of hot chocolate in excitement, which was quickly replaced by frustration because he still couldn’t type anything in any way. How was he supposed to- Speak. I can hear you. “...Oh! Nice!” Izuku exclaimed. “Hi, dad! How are you? What happened?” I’ve been better. I got decked by a hysterical ape. Izuku frowned. “That’s not funny. Mom and I were very worried.” That wasn’t really a joke. What? What even- “...How? Did you break into a zoo or something…?” Sorry, you’re right. Let me rephrase. I had a violent disagreement with a brute. “Oh…” Izuku was about to ask for further explanations but he waited. The three bouncing dots at the bottom of the screen signalled that his father was still writing. We will have to communicate like this for a while. I hope it isn’t too much of an inconvenience for you. Judging by how long it took him to type even the shortest messages, Izuku thought it was going to be much more of an inconvenience for his father. He felt sorry for him. “No, not all. Is it… is it really bad? Shouldn’t you come home so we can help you get better? It sounds like you won’t be able to work anyway…” I’ll receive better medical treatment here, and I can still get some work done while I recuperate. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll recover fully sooner or later. Izuku picked at the lint of his blanket, choosing his words carefully. “You could… come home anyway. Even if you could work. When you’re feeling a little better. So we could spend some time together.” The three bouncing dots reappeared, but Izuku kept talking. He already knew what his father’s answer was going to be, but he wanted to take advantage of the delay to get a few more words in. “Some of my friends have parents that work far from home too. They’re away a lot, but… they do come back to visit sometimes. Usually for the holidays. At least… At least once.” At least his friends had actually met their fathers once in their whole lives, Izuku completed only in his head. You know how things stand. My job doesn’t afford me this kind of free time. “...What do you even do that won’t let you ever do anything?” Izuku muttered, out of sheer petulance. That was another familiar point of contention, to which his father replied with the same, word-for-word justification he always used. Every detail concerning my activities is classified by the government. We’ve been over this. Don’t be childish. And that was usually the end of it. Any further questioning after the ‘classified’ thing invariably turned Izuku’s father into a slippery wall of smooth deflections. But, considering the current situation, Izuku felt like he could get away with a little more nagging, if he played his cards right. “I know you can’t say anything. But how about…” He physically leaned forwards, trying not to let his tension seep through his voice. “How about I try to deduce something? About your job. Just… for fun.” No new message showed up, not even the typing dots. Izuku decided that it was as much of an approval as he was going to get, so he started to voice his thoughts as they formed. “...Your job is classified by the government. So it’s important, very important, so important that other people can’t know about it.” When he was very young, Izuku had obviously interpreted it as irrefutable proof that his father must be some sort of secret agent. He had exposed his conclusion to Kacchan and his gang once. They had… not-so-respectfully disagreed. Izuku had never brought up the matter with them afterwards. “Your note said that you got hurt on the job. So someone you know from work punched you so hard that, even after five months, you still can’t talk well.” Izuku paused. That was… a scary idea. It dawned on him, for the first time since the beginning of this whole ordeal, that his father may have really dodged a bullet there. What kind of a brute could possibly want to injure someone that much…? Surely a criminal… A villain, maybe…? “Your job is dangerous, and it leaves you almost no free time. It also pays well.” That last item was admittedly a shot in the dark, Izuku didn’t really know much about money handling. But he had noticed that his mother never denied him a gift or a treat on the grounds of its cost (his vast collection of All Might memorabilia was a testament to that), like so many of his friends’ relatives were wont to do. She didn’t need a job herself, and Izuku remembered overhearing a conversation she had with Kacchan’s mom where she had said that they were ‘well provided for’. “You know a lot about a lot of stuff, especially about quirks and heroes. You know a lot of things about quirks and heroes that I couldn’t find anywhere on the internet.” Izuku paused, racking his brain for anything else that stuck out. Before he could come up with more points to make, his father finally wrote back. You sure put some thought into this. I’m impressed. The lack of reprimands was an encouragement in its own right. Now came the hard part. These were all facts that he already knew, now he had to put them together… and no matter how much he tried to come up with different possibilities, there was only one explanation that rang true in Izuku’s mind. “Dad… are you some sort of… undercover hero?” Izuku waited with baited breath for the dancing dots to turn into a complete message. Definitely not. ...Aw, shoot. Although I guess I do happen to deal with heroes quite often in my line of work. Izuku gasped. That was the first real piece of information his father had ever shared with him about his job! And wow, he worked with heroes! And whatever support he lent them had to be pretty vital if he was always so busy and tight-lipped. “So you’re like… a policeman? An informant that tracks down villains for the heroes to catch? Or an engineer bound by trade secret? Or-” Enough, Izuku. I’m supposed to be resting. I don’t think being given the third degree by my own son counts as such. Izuku deflated. So close to the truth, and yet so far… Maybe he could manage to get some other clue out of his father later. But… there was one more thing he simply had to ask. “...Have you ever met All Might?” I’m just going to ignore you after this. Well, it had been worth a try. Izuku finally relented, reasonably satisfied with the result of his investigation. “Okay, okay. Sorry. No more questions. And no All Might stuff. Not that I have much to tell you about him. He hasn’t really been around lately.” Hasn’t he, now? Uh, odd. It wasn’t like his father to miss an opportunity to dodge All Might gossip. Izuku supposed there’d be no harm in taking advantage of this atypical spark of curiosity. “Yeah. It’s been like this for a few months. Rumors say he’s abroad, working on some large scale mission. Something very secret, that’s why there are no articles on him in newspapers from other countries either.” I wasn’t aware of this. That’s very interesting. Although I couldn’t imagine anyone less suited to hushed-up operations. Izuku couldn’t help but snort. In light of the recent revelation, he wondered if his father was so unapologetically critical of All Might because he had worked with him and they hadn’t gotten along… which seemed kind of impossible. How could All Might be the unpleasant type of coworker? Or maybe his father really was just jealous because he couldn’t work with All Might often enough. A sudden thought occurred to the boy. “...Sorry, I guess you don’t want to hear about hero stuff now that you’re, uh… on forced vacation.” Actually, I’d love to. I’ve been a little out of the loop lately, I need to catch up with the news anyway. Fire away all the information you have. Izuku smiled. “Even about All Might?” Especially about All Might.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #izuku midoriya #deku #all for one

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delfrutal · 4 years

Text

Music with the Autobots

Being fugitives does not mean that in their free time they are bored, luckily one of their allies was a young artist. Cade managed to get some instruments for you.

Optimus Prime:

🚛❤When he hears that you tune the ukulele, he came up curious to ask what you were doing and what is that noise.

🚛❤While you were fixing the instrument, you told him that you were a music student first and that you were about to finish your studies.

🚛❤-Do you want to hear something? -

-Clear.-

-Just clarified that I'm not that good at singing, huh.-

🚛❤You start playing a few chords and the sweet melody totally captured the attention of the metal giant.

🚛❤When you started singing you surprised him, your voice sounds different but it is sweet.

🚛❤The song you sing to him is Here come the sun - The Beatles.

🚛❤ You move your head a little to the rhythm of the melody and little by little Optimus does too.

🚛❤Smile at all times, you chose a good song that lifted his spirits.

🚛❤ He congratulates you and says that you have great talent.

🚛❤Now when he sees you with an instrument he goes directly with you to listen to a song, sometimes you even play only for him when he climbs you on his shoulder.

🚛❤Sometimes when he can't sleep and you find him, you keep him company with music.

🚛❤-You are a great artist. . .you should be there and not here.

-Thank you, but I don't regret anything. I am also a warrior and you are important to me, I will not abandon you.

Bumblebee:

🐝-Cade told me to give you this, what is it? Makes strange sounds.-

-It's an electric piano, Bee. -

🐝It is a child or rather, a teenager. Almost everything makes He is curious.

🐝He sits next to you and asks what you are doing every so often while you make some more modifications to the instrument. You better tell him about your past as a music student.

🐝 He was already getting bored, but you got his attention back when you pushed a few keys away.

🐝 It looked like a puppy cocking its head.

🐝He likes the rhythm you took, he even does a little dance.

🐝Surprise when he hears you sing.

🐝Cheats and downloads the singer's voice to make you second.

🐝The song is Mr. Blue Sky - Electrific Light Orchestra.

🐝He loves it, he asks you for more songs.

🐝Now you are his radio. (?)

🐝Tells everyone that you are great.

+ 🐝Cade annoyed that you modified his modifications on the piano.(?)

Hound:

🔥🔫 He was there when you challenged Cade that he couldn't create an amp and make an electric guitar.

🔥🔫Well, hefulfilled you with the guitar, but your amp was Hound.

🔥🔫-It better be a good song, girl-

🔥🔫Surprise when he sees how you play the guitar with talent.

🔥🔫He just started and he doesn't know why, but he was already shaking his head.

🔥🔫-WHAT IS THIS !? -

-ROCK!-

-I LIKE IT!-

🔥🔫 He laughs and finds it funny how you move with the guitar.

🔥🔫The song is Guns' N Roses - Welcome to the jungle.

🔥🔫Shoot because he liked it a lot.

🔥🔫-WoooUUUUUhhhh, that's amazing! -

🔥🔫Rather, you don't sing, you scream, but it still sounds great and he screams with you too.

🔥🔫They are scolded for so much noise.

🔥🔫Crosshairs asks you not to let Hound sing.

🔥🔫-Hound, it's 2 am what's up? -

-Come on, bring your guitar. Let's fuck Crosshairs.

-Jal0.-

Drift:

🎍💙He was practicing his balance while reciting a poem, but as soon as he heard that you were moving some barrels and that a baby dinobot pushed him, he almost went through with his sword.

🎍💙-What are you doing? -

-Ah. . .Music.-

🎍💙Watch you choose barrels as he re-practices his balance with swords.

🎍💙-What are you doing? -

-Music, is still in process.-

🎍💙For a samurai, he is very impatient.

🎍💙After finding some drumsticks, you start hitting the barrels.

🎍💙-That's not music! -

🎍💙You ignored him and continued playing until he understood the rhythm.

🎍💙He is surprised when he hears you sing.

🎍💙Now you have him sitting in front of you listening to the song, he likes the song. His Lyrics is deep and makes you think.

🎍💙The song is They Don't Care About Us - Michael Jackson.

🎍💙Admire how you managed to make music with garbage.

🎍💙 He asks you if you wrote the song.

🎍💙 He wants to know more about Michael Jackson.

🎍💙He also wants you to teach him and with the other instruments as well.

🎍💙He always asks you to play a song when he meditates.

🎍💙Sometimes he dances.

Crosshairs:

🎈💚-And that's it. . . .? -

-A low.-

🎈💚It tells you that you surely don't know how to touch it.

🎈💚Just the first chords left him surprised.

🎈💚He is surprised at your silences filled with clicks.

🎈💚Smile and laugh at how great you sound, especially when you sing.

🎈💚The song is Another one bites the dust - Queen.

🎈💚There you have it, half dancing.

🎈💚He also shoots because he liked it.

🎈💚Now you are his radio. × 2

🎈💚He liked Queen, he asks you for more of them.

🎈💚 Try to sing, according to him. He sings better than you.

+ Cade:

🔧He was the only one who heard you at first. One night in front of the campfire, you said you miss making music but no bot seems to hear you.

🔧 He took you almost like another daughter, only you didn't leave.

🔧In the junk, stealing and buying he gave you the instruments. He is glad to see you happy.

🔧He is amused as the Autobots pay more attention to you now and ask you for music.

🔧He is impressed and proud of your talent, you are really good with all instruments.

🔧Try to modify some.

🔧But what you use the most is the acoustic guitar, it is the one you play the most besides being the first instrument he gave you.

🔧Sometimes it feels bad that you stay there when you really should be outside being a famous artist.

🔧You made him happy and the Autobots, you are a sun and he usually says this to you because of the star and the musical note.

🔧He laughed a lot once during a trip you were playing the song Send me on my way - Rusted Root on guitar, he even made you second to sing.

🔧You teach him to play some instruments, while he teaches you mechanics.

🔧He love that on every long trip, you play Send me on my way once. He finds it fun to imagine the Autobots and you as being in the ice age.

🔧Now they have nicknames, so they gossip about bots at ease.

Optimus: Mani.

Bumblebee: Sid.

Hound: Diego.

Drift: Eddie.

Crosshairs: Crash.

🔧Now music is part of everyone.

#transformers #transformers bayverse #bayverse #bayverse optimus #crosshairs #bayverse crosshairs #drift #drift bayverse #Bayverse Hound #Hound #Bayverse Bumblebee #Bumblebee #Cada Yager #Transformers x reader #music #HC

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undergroundkid · 3 years

Text

11. If I can have you I can do anything

What was supposed to be a sweet release, turned into obstinate mania.

However soothing Hyungwon’s affirmations were, there was no denying; your ego grew bigger than you let yourself realize. He might kiss your stained hands, hazed your thoughts, and erased doubts for a moment, but after toe-curling ecstasy, you were left with a bitter truth.

I am a bad person.

When you got off your new-proclaimed throne it didn’t hit you right away. Your wobbly legs barely held you up, hair stuck to your face, the muscles groaned in exasperation and hummed with delight simultaneously. Probably too many sensations still occupied your body and mind; so of course, it had to be Chae’s words that put you back in reality.

- This is your sin – he said, half-laying on the bed with an open shirt and sweat-kissed skin. Then he added with a small laugh:- Pride, Miss Y/N.

How this man could take you to the highest peak of pleasure and then throw you off straight into a freezing stream of maliciousness was beyond you. But he did it, time after time, always leaving you shocked when you should already learn.

Few days passed without sign of any of the apartment’s guests. Such a restful way should give you some peace when you could focus on your job in quiet. No sudden meetings, no suspicious events, no unprofessional situations with clients – just how it worked before.

It did work before you were aware of yourself. In the past, you didn’t have to ponder on your actions, because you always believed them to be the best you could do. Now the seed of the doubt was sowed, uncertainty always behind your back questioning your true motives.

It was tiring; you wished to be a silly doe once again.

You worked slower, not so actively pursuing your guests' attention. If your manager noticed, she didn’t mention it, simply burying you in paperwork. Or maybe she didn’t want to? Maybe she’s also like me? Perhaps we’re all egocentric creatures, pretending to care, only for our own advantage, without any selflessness?

- Child, you’re spacing out again. Everything’s alright?

Or perhaps not – there may be people with personal interest, like your mother. She looked at you intently, her hands moving uneasily; she must be worried.

- Oh, yes – the answer came out automatically:- Yes, I’m okay.

As you furrowed your brows, concerned why you won’t simply voice out your thoughts, your mom managed to drop her troubles. Your short reply sufficiently good to go her own merry way.

- Good! Hurry up sweetheart or you will be late to the hotel!

You nodded, empty inside once again. Only one purpose: work.

Chae told you there was greatness in evil. How could you not believe him, swept by powerful affirmations? Such a beautiful face of his will convince anyone. Sour veracity flowing from pretty lips, drowning you in his ideals.

- It does feel good, doesn’t it? – he took a rich grip of your thighs, not urging you, just enjoying the heat of your flesh. You looked at him with a small smile, relishing in the way his manhood slid sweetly along your slick walls. No hurry, only the delectation of erotic closeness, fulness again.. having him below you, the stunning man that downgraded you.

His hands moved to your backside, coercing you to move up his shaft. Betraying his lust like this, instinctual pressure to chase the climax made you tilt your head back with a chuckle.

You sat down fully, gripping him tight with inner muscles. Delighted by male’s hiss, you placed your hands on his sweated arms comfortably.

- You tell me – you responded, voice calm as you rose and sink down again; his broken sigh already an answer, but you couldn't help yourself and had to ask:- Does it feel good, Mr Chae?

It definitely did.

At that moment, you ate his words easily. Driven by his praises, easy acceptance of your dark side, you really felt like a goddess. But that was it, just a moment; the person changing into the receptionist’s uniform wasn’t a deity anymore. Not a scared doe either – just a fool, more angered by the idea of being arrogant shrew than the fact she jumped at another’s client's dick.

The discomposure after the encounter with Hyungwon fell short of the one with Mr. Changkyun. Shame ate you alive then, now just warmed up your ears and moistened the hands. The morals? Fitfully unstable.

- Y/N, I left the shift report on the desk, take a look – your colleague chirped at the exit in a typical pink-collar worker’s voice:- There were some complaints to take care of, I know you will do your best! See you next time!

Placing the responsibilities on me over and over; you had to bite your tongue to stop the thoughts. Where do they come from? Am I always presumptuous like this?

- Uh, Miss Y/N?

- Sorry, what’s up?

- The report? – young intern handed you papers, deciding to summarize it anyway:- Guests from the third floor claimed there’s loud music coming from somewhere.

- Music?

- Ah, it’s stated here – she pointed to the last paragraph. If the hotel has musicians or any other vocalists under their roof, the curfew doesn’t work? However skilled, 3 AM piano performance isn’t appreciated.

- Probably someone’s played the CD too loud.. can we even find out who was it?

- Oh hey, something’s wrong? – Yoonho cut in, emerging from behind the corner; your eyes met briefly before he focused on the apprentice. He didn’t stay in your company for long since your silly argument – if you could call it an argument at all. Funny boy, obvious to the suddenly high-pitched voice of the girl between you.

- Loud music? I didn’t hear anything yesterday and I stayed until midnight?

Huh, so he does avoid me.

- Well.. what.. what can we do? Should we stay tonight longer too? – her voice toned down with uncertainty.

- Ah, it doesn’t make sense.. you want to sit at the stairs and pretend to just chill out?

- Probably best if we check it out personally? I mean.. maybe we will hear this wonderful piano serenade room 322 wrote about?

You cringed your nose involuntarily, third-wheeling the awful teenage romance drama. Why the heck she’s so obsessed with him was unclear. He was sweet but way too childish.. proper good-looking at the best, especially among the clients here.

- You said piano? – porter chuckled with annoyance:- Oh, no worries then, your supervisor will solve this puzzle.

Did I say childish?

Yoonho looked at you with an upturned nose. He reminded you of an offended kid; still cute, but definitely testing his limits. Who the hell he thinks he is, little shit-

This is your sin, Miss Y/N.

Wait, why am I getting angry already? It’s nothing for the God’s sake..

Pride.

Oh no, I am better than this, better than you, him and everybody here-

- That’s true – you smiled your best service’s worker smile, taking younger acquaintance by surprise:- I think I can take care of it.

You could hear the song on the second floor already; it felt like you were the only one, the other guests not paying any attention to you or elegant tones vibrating in the air. It was a different melody than before, accompanied by a graceful male’s voice, singing the song in a language unknown to you.

The source of the complaint was found in the emergency staircase: the duet of an old piano and young man.

- Looks like we’re meeting again, Miss – the gentleman welcomed, changing the tempo of his song to more relaxing. His white sweater matched the room perfectly; with the new line of chords, he gave off a cozy aura.

- Mr. Yoo – you bowed:- I was looking for you. Did you decide to wander here last night perhaps?

- Is that a proper question from a young lady? – he shifted on a small bench, offering you a seat. You took it without hesitation, feeling at ease in his presence. The effect of his music, harmonic vocals, and polite behavior was soothing for your soul. Exactly what you needed after the vortex of the last events.

- We had a complaint about the noise, sir. You should finish the concert before 10 PM for everybody’s comfort.

- I see.. my apologies – he slouched a bit, big glasses sliding down his nose. He stopped playing to adjust them:- I thought it wasn’t a big deal. There’s a lot of loud singing at the night here.

Frowning was enough to make him explain.

- Intense, melodic .. and greatly feminine.

You could see the rising panic in your face from the reflection in Kihyun’s lenses; he just smiled, a little, almost with adoration.

- It was very beautiful – he assured, calming you down instantly. Soothing came naturally to him – surely he meant your latest stunts, yet his short affirmation was enough to put discomfort for later. No judging, maybe even a bit of understanding. Now you could simply enjoy his appeasing company.

His fingers started waltzing lazily on aged piano keys, filling the silence.

- It made me lonely – Mr. Yoo admitted:- Music makes me feel less miserable.

- I see.. hotel is full of people, but it doesn’t matter. I am sorry to hear this, sir.

A simple nod was the only answer. Seeing the man who until now provided nothing but comfort for you in sorrow mood was upsetting. He deserved better.

You lightly brushed your shoulder against his to lighten up the mood.

- I am here now, sir. With you.

He chuckled.

- That’s what I was hoping for.

Tiny tingling danced under your ribs for a few seconds. Letting it warm you up, then quelling it out habit – you shouldn’t let the simple compliments captivate you. Why you still held to the old manners you were taught? You didn’t exactly follow them lately. Quit the act already.

- Your presence.. conciliate me – hushed words, spoke with caution:- It did last time and so do now. I am afraid I will need it more.

- I.. can help, sir. Please call reception next time, we can talk?

Kihyun laughed, shaking his head with amusement.

- Dear Miss Y/N.. this solitude is a bottomless pit, unfortunately..

His hand came to your jawline, following the path behind your ear. He touched the delicate skin with eyes full of wonder.

- It will never be enough – he stated, then added with a sigh:- I am gluttonous like this.

Nobody wants to be lonely, after all – it’s human nature. He found out your dirty secrets and might want to take his own piece of this cake, hiding it under lame excuses.. but why would he do that? How can you suspect the most courteous man in this hotel? Always polite to you, adding some smarty remarks to keep you on your toes. No pushing your boundaries though – he acknowledged your actions without any criticism.

Maybe he is just alone, wishing for someone to heal the emptiness. What’s wrong with looking for affection anyway? It’s what led you to previous encounters, too. You were touch-starved. Both Changkyun and Hyungwon made you aware of it, appeased the basic hunger, then left you to hunt for yourself.

The doe became huntress, so you closed the gap between you and Yoo with an urgent kiss. He melted with pleasure, almost as if he was waiting for your move.

- So am I – you agreed, clenching his white sweater:- I am greedy, too, sir.

- Oh I can tell – he whispered with a snicker, staring at your moving hands.

The kisses became heated quickly. You were torn between admiring his foggy glasses and reddened lips. The gentleman was focused on chasing your mouth though, arms encircling your frame to close any possible space between you two. His soft touch contrast to your previous lovers, both Im and Chae more fervently urgent. Even your ex-boyfriend, your first.. however considerate he was of your virginity, his inexperience was clear. You didn’t blame him; he was a sweetheart, head over heels in love with you.. at some point at least.

Nonetheless, you couldn’t help but contemplate if he ever loved you for real. Maybe it was a stupid young crush and you stayed together out of habit, playing it safe. It looked like he wanted another type of partner inferring from his social media. No point in complaining now, you were both adults, going their own path.. his more of a party animal, yours.. well. Boring, uneventful, and stable until now; even so, still regretful.

Kihyun’s approach unlike anyone was making you feel treasured as if he was waiting a lifetime for a chance to have this moment. Hyungwon set you on a pedestal, that’s true, but he did it with mendacity, leaving you more mentally confused than before. The male beside you handled you with utter care, gracing you with a love-struck smile. You answered with a grin before you could catch yourself. What a lovely man, worthy of the best, yet he was with you and it seemed to make him the happiest.

Maybe I can honestly bring him joy, maybe I.. maybe I am not as bad as I thought of myself.

Your hands trembled, which didn’t go unnoticed by your partner. He instantly shifted to meet your eyes properly, observing your face for any kind of discomfort. His concern practically startling, given how unused you were to that level of care. Nobody paid attention to your feelings much, obvious hardship dismissed even by your own mother.

This man did on the other hand. He worried about trivial troubled gesture, despite the hollowness of his heart.

I can help; I can be virtuous, whatever Chae implied. You felt he can be wrong this strong for the first time since his arrival.

- Something’s wrong, dear?

You shook your head dismissively.

- No – you answered, grazing male’s legs briefly:- Actually, quite the opposite.

He tried to ask again, however, was silenced with a quick kiss – to stop him from questioning and to provide a distraction from sneaking hands down his trousers, towards a recognizable bulge. He moaned straight into your mouth, such a pure noise you thought of it as your new favorite sound. You needed more of this dissolute melody then and there.

Driven by a desire to take care of your sweet lover, you slid between his legs on your knees.

- Ah, Miss Y/N – blush prominent on cheeks, he still tried to play it cool:- Don’t you favor me way too much?

You shushed him, massaging his crotch that was now your eye-level. He weakly tried to pry your hands with some gentle words, something among the lines of ladies first, although it didn’t stop you.

- Mr. Yoo – unzipping his pants, freeing him from briefs and still you didn’t shy away from his heated gaze:- I want to hear you sing more..

You had your goal now. Clear purpose helping you redeem yourself.

- Please, play the piano and sing – you requested, kissing the head of his erected member. He answered you with a shaky breath, which determined he needed a moment to collect himself. Cute.

The moment he started the new tune, your tongue glided along salty skin. He faltered for a few seconds, picking up the tempo with trouble.

It made you smile; it made you powerful, once again, but at your own rules.

When Kihyun decided to sing, you swallowed him as much as you could. The vocals broke into a loud whine, fueling you to go even deeper, faster, wilder.

You could give him a piece of heaven, sneak peek into oblivion. It was possible without looking for own gain or offensive commentary. Just two people searching for the warmth of intimacy. He chanted foreign words above you out of breath, still harmonic as always and you sensed both your climaxes coming; his primal, your spiritual.

Cure the loneliness out of the pure heart. I don’t want anything, after all; just feel better.

Is that nothing? Or am I seeking for my own benefit?

The piano stuttered, chords losing original pace, throwing the song into chaos. Yoo’s voice slowed down to sinful groans with infrequent lyrics. He was close, exhalation hasty just like the thoughts coming through your head.

Am I proving Chae’s word wrong?

The piano stopped abruptly, some keys pressed together with a smash of Kihyun’s arm. He hid between his elbows and your head, uttering an uncommonly bashful cry. Bitter substance filled your mouth along with an even more savage realization.

You gulped down his cum, stunned enough to not care for typical male’s taste. Tucking him back into pants, mental nausea grew stronger every passing second. You hoped to bolt before facing him, however difficult it might be.

Pointless as expected, when your rose back again he embraced your hips with wobbly palms.

- Not so quick, Miss – sweated from orgasm, not any less handsome:- Let me return the favor.

Favor? It wasn’t a favor. Only a confirmation; you were corrupt as Hyungwon said you were. Determined to convince him you can be good simply because you couldn’t stand the insult. Too proud to admit the truth over again. Not able to accept the accusation so much it made you blow the first willing guy. Extra violation on your naughty list.

- You don’t have to – there was no use to drag the show anymore, so you opted to give up before you could regret it all even more. Kihyun opened his mouth to protest with what could be another wise-ass reply, but you beat him to it:

- We are all lonely in our pleasure in the end.

thank you for reading

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#shangri-la fc #my writing #monsta x fanfic #monsta x imagines #monsta x reader #hyungwon x reader #hyungwon imagine #kihyun x reader #kihyun imagine #monsta x smut #oops oh well #long post

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