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kissme-hs · 3 years

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More hearts {c.e.}

Hii lovelies! This one is based off the two songs ;more hearts than mine by Ingrid Andress and match in the rain by Alec Benjamin. I’ve been thinking about this one for a while now so here it is. Let me know what you think lol sorry if this is shit, feedback is very much appreciated :)

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Chris Evans

Warning: Angst

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“I can’t do this anymore”

Those words didn’t amuse you when Chris said them with a heavy heart. Teary red eyes and tumbling words as he sat on the couch where you stood near the wooden window sill staring into the oblivious of falling rain. Though it was dark outside, you enjoyed the sound of pattering rain—where your boyfriend cried his own tears of sadness.

You felt numb for few seconds. Your mind fathomed what he uttered but it took a while for your heart to figure out that it was really happening. After 3 years of being together with each other through the thick and thin, sorrows and happiness it was time you go your way and he goes his. You’d still consider kind of him to break it to you in such a fragile way, making sure first that your heart is strong enough to endure the ache of your now—ending relationship.

Finally breaking in through the barrier of strong emotions, a tear rolled down your cheek as you quickly wiped it away with your palm crossing your hands over your chest. It hurt, it hurt more than you thought it’d when the love started fading away.

You could tell he tried, so did you. Every morning you’d wake up with a heavy chest knowing you have to go through the day with the person who’s heart stopped beating for you long ago. It wasn’t that he was cheating, but sometimes there isn’t a need of other person for one to fall out of love.

The kisses he placed on your forehead which once felt warm now were completely cold. He was pushing himself to save your dying relationship, but he couldn’t do it. There were two bodies in the house but only one present–each night you’d say I love you’s and turn away from each other to fall asleep. Well aware of the truth that neither of you meant what you said anymore, you’d let silent tears hit the soft pillow until the soreness of your eyes drifts you away in deep slumber of sleep.

He on the other side felt you slipping away through his fingers. The dead look in your eyes gave him the hint that the time was up, but he pretended you’re both still strong anyway. He wasn’t willing to believe that this was the end, he didn’t want to give up on the relation he has built you through tears and smiles over the years.

But his intuitions told him it’s too late. You were long gone.

Your heart crumbled every day with the screaming memories you created in the same house where you now lived with a heavy heart. The laughter and joy were nowhere to be found, he’d work in his office everyday to keep himself busy and you’d do the same. Reading, writing, doing anything that’d keep you off from feeling the everyday growing ache in your chest.

Watching him grow distant was the worst pain you ever went through.

However.

You’ll be fine, but how will you tell your mother? Who loved Chris very much like her own son. She falls in love faster than you, and the second you introduced Chris to your family she instantly wrapped her arms around his welcoming him with a warm heart to your strong family.

Every Christmas she’d send you homemade cookies and hand knitted sweaters but ever since you brought Chris home, she made sure to send one for him. And now won’t she be heartbroken? She’s not going to have one more to knit sweater for. Your mother always told you how Chris filled the spot she always craved for having a son—and now she’d watch him go away with you.

She’d wait patiently for your arrival with Chris’s favorite meal ready every time you visit her but now, not anymore.

“You complete our family son.” She smiled when Chris took the heavy pot of stew from her hand helping her set the table while you and your sister were out with your dad grabbing a few stuff for the house.

He volunteered that he’d stay and help your mother—loving her the same he loved his own mother.

“Thanks ma” he replied placing a kiss on her forehead. His heart swelling with the adoration he developed for you and your family and how not only he loved you unconditionally but those four members you called home.

And your dad. He always checked the car tires before you both hit the road, saying he just wanted to make sure that his daughter goes hime safely—lying not caring about Chris. But everyone knew he wasn’t fooling anyone.

Your dad loved Chris. He’d always go fishing with him and talk about sports and politics. Though he was proud of having two amazing girls, he wished he had a son to go fishing with, fix house with, whom he could go golfing with. And when you brought Chris home that Friday evening, you saw him smile. Unlike the fake one he gave your other boyfriends but the one that showed you how proud he was.

“So you like whiskey or rum?”

“I’d take whiskey sir”

“Call me dad” making your head turn from the couch where you sat watching television with your mother your eyes picked tears. Never he has welcomed a man so lovingly before. You knew it was real when you father loved him as if he was his own child.

Oh how could you break your old man’s heart? He’d pour you whiskey over ice and lie that he never liked him, but deep down you know he’d miss him too. He’d miss watching football with him, arguing over politics, fixing the deck.

He’d miss caring for his son that now he lost.

Last came your younger sister. Oh how she loved embarrassing Chris and having little snickering arguments with him. She’d disagree with him just to see him getting frustrated and then would laugh about it later. But never once he minded it. He cared for you sister just like he did for his.

For her too, he completed your little family with the craving of older brother. Though you never let anyone touch her, she always wondered what it’d be like to have a protective brother. And Chris never failed to annoy her either, he loved how her face would get all scrunched up as she’d get irritated like a typical teenager that she was and would huff and puff until he brings out the present he got for her.

“So you know I told you I like this guy at school right?” She said mouth full of fruits as she sits beside Chris on a Sunday morning telling her all the ‘gossips’ she’d say. And being a 39 year old man he’d listen to her babbling nothing like but as if he was a teenager himself.

“Yeah?”

“Well he asked me out” she smiled wiggling her eyebrows at him. Chris let out a laugh before ruffling her hair.

“Funny of someone to like you”

“Hey!!”

“Just kidding, tell him if he breaks your heart, I’ll beat the shit outta him” he raised his eyebrow winking at your sister before tossing a piece of cantaloupe from her bowl and popping in his mouth.

But who will bring her chocolates like last time when she’ll go through another heartbreak as a part of growing up? Who’ll teach her how to drive a motorcycle even though she’s quite young for that? Chris could’ve, but not anymore.

Closing your eyes your, you let your tears fall—not bothering to hold them back this time. You’ve been keeping your emotions locked up from a long time, maybe now it was the time you it go. Let go of the heaviness off your chest, it’s time to breath again.

You walked over to where he sat and gave his back a gentle rub.

Lifting his head from his head he looked in your eyes. For the first time in three months he saw emotions, he saw the fear and guilt and sorrow and pain you carried along you. The eyes which once were full of colours and spark now dead and dull. He was defeated. He couldn’t save you.

Running your fingers through his hair you let out a sniff, trying your best to pass him a broken smile.

“We’ll be fine” you whispered pulling him closer, without any hesitation he wrapped his arms around his waist hiding his head in your crook. His salty tears wetting your skin but you couldn’t care less as you rested your cheek on his back letting yours damp the cotton material of his t-shirt.

Chris was a man with the biggest heart. His kindness and generosity made even the most unworthy fall in love. How could they not. He was never selfish or greedy, or even thought of himself as “I”. Being a child amongst four he was taught to carry the family out of self love, as ‘we’. And to put those he loved, above all and the rest.

He gave you the happiness of your life, he made you smile when no one could. He came in your life bringing the light of joy and enlightened your dark space in heart—which felt it could never love again with radiating warmness. He gave your family the love no one could, he loved them selflessly just like he was taught.

Though he’d miss the warm stew and a mom who always sent hand knitted sweater, those Sunday morning golf games and a dad who’d lie how he never cared about him, the glimpse of a teenager’s life and a sister who loved to snicker around laughing at his blushed face but he won’t deny he’d miss you the most of all.

The woman who taught him the meaning of true love. The woman who stood with him through the rain storms and brightest sunshine. Who never doubted his will and everyday was the encouragement of being a better man. The lady who will always hold the only place of lover in his heart as long as it beats, he doubts he’d ever be able to place his heart in other’s hand like he placed it in yours without any second thought.

And today, he didn’t only break your heart.

But his and the hearts of other three that were once his family.

If we break up I’ll be fine,

But you’ll be breaking more hearts than mine.

#chris evans x wife!reader #Chris evans #Chris evans imagines #Chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfictions #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x female reader #chris evans writngs

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vintagedolan · 4 years

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mixtape | track three

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

Indiana was sure she’d never had a longer Monday in her life, and Tuesday wasn’t looking any better. Her lecture droned on and she did everything she could to stay engaged, from downing the rest of her water bottle to doodling on the side of her notes.

Just as her professor started to move into the brachial plexus, she saw a small message notification appear in the top right corner of her laptop screen. A text, from Grayson.

Wyd? :)

It took all her power not to scoff in the middle of the room. The fact that he’d actually sent her a ‘wyd’ was almost too much.

learning, what’s it to yah

She scrolled to catch up with her professor, trying to keep up.

I’m bored

You want a vanilla oatmilk latte later, right?

Or did I not remember that right

Triple texter, of course. She typed out a quick shhh, unless you can teach me about the brachial plexus I gotta pay attention. I’ll text you when I’m out and turned back to her notes, scribbling out the diagram that her professor was drawing on the board.

But she still smiled when she got a p sure you just made that up but okay :) from him.

Lecture sped up after that, her professor moving much too quickly through the nerves and innervations of muscles within the plexus that she could barely wrap her head around. She was going to have to review all of it again to even begin to fully understand. At least it wasn’t chemistry like it had been last semester - anatomy she could handle because at least it was interesting. Before she knew it she was closing her notebook and laptop, throwing them in her bag and heading out the door in a bid to get to the hospital faster.

Little did she know, Grayson was waiting in line at Jet’s already, having come to the city much earlier than he needed to, toe of his Air Force One tapping on the tile as his nerves ran wild. He caught his reflection in one of the windows and paused to double check himself, just like he had that afternoon in his mom’s hallway, looking in the mirror that was hanging on the wall. Ethan had caught him in the act, and he knew it wouldn’t slip past him.

“Alright, spill. You’re being sus.” Ethan’s words were garbled by the PB&J in his mouth, but it still made Grayson panic a bit.

“Am not.”

“Cut the shit Gray, you only wear belts when you’re trying to impress somebody and I highly doubt you’re trying to woo over the kids. What’s her name?”

“I hate you.”

“Interesting name.” That earned him a middle finger.

“Indiana.”

“Actual interesting name. She cute?”

“Very. And smart. And funny too. Good with kids.”

“And tick tick tick go the soulmate boxes. You gonna try to make a move?”

“We’ve talked one time bro. That’d be bold.”

“Yeah, and you’re you.You fall in love when somebody blinks at you right. Case made. Let me know when the wedding is.”

Grayson didn’t have a comeback for that, so he just huffed a bit and let out a “fuck off” before he turned to head for city an hour before he needed to.

“Next… Next.”

He pulled his head up, realizing the line had disappeared in front of him. He moved up to the counter, hoping he’d remembered her order right since she’d yet to answer him again.

“Can I do a large dark roast, and a large vanilla oatmilk latte please?”

Down the line, a man with an impressive beard and large gauges perked up as Grayson put his card into the reader.

“Wouldn’t happen to be for Indiana Cross would it?”

He wasn’t sure what the right answer was, so he just went with the truth. “Yeah, actually it is.”

Based on the way that the man squinted his eyes at him, Grayson realized it was apparently very much the wrong answer.

“And you are?” He asked.

“Grayson.”

“Grayson.” He repeated, obviously waiting for an elaboration.

“I uh… I volunteer with her at the hospital?”

Right answer. The man relaxed, going back to making coffee with a nod. He tried to run through the possibilities while he waited for the drinks. Brother? Probably not. Ex-boyfriend? Possibly.

“She’s a good egg, used to work here before school got to be too much. You’re lucky to have a friend like her,” he said after passing over the drinks.

Protective manager. Not what he expected, but he understood. He had a feeling it wasn’t just him who had gotten attached so quickly.

“Yeah, yeah I am for sure. Thanks, have a great day.”

“You too…” he trailed off, waiting. He didn’t know if he’d forgotten his name already or just didn’t want to admit he remembered it.

“Grayson.”

“Right. I’m Patrick. See you around.”

“Yeah man, see you.”

Grayson headed out the door, balancing one cup on top of the other so he could text her quickly.

You at the hosp yet?

no, I’m not at the ‘hosp’ haha I’m walking there now

You didn’t text me when you got out of class

I’m hurt

boo hoo

Lemme just

Throw this coffee away real quick

hey hey now those are fighting words

oh shit I never texted you about the coffee, but you were right, vanilla oatmilk latte

I’ll give you a pass this time since you were learning about the brachial whatever

You’re lucky im awesome and remembered

wow

the most awesome

love to see it

just wait outside of jets, I’ll be there in a minute

Okay :)

He did as she asked, moving out of the steady stream of people that were on the sidewalk to watch people who passed, waiting for her. Every time he saw a head of blonde hair he perked up, until finally he recognized her moving towards him. She was dressed more casually than on Sunday, with a baggy crewneck on with her jeans and Air Force Ones.

She noticed him a moment after he saw her, so by the time she laid eyes on him he was beaming, putting his phone away and moving towards her.

“A large? You spoil me,” she teased, taking the cup from him gratefully. It was delicious as always, but she was more focused on his outfit – a tight black long sleeve shirt tucked into a pair of nice maroon pants, a large belt buckle resting on his waist.

“We match,” he grinned, pointing a toe out to show off his shoes. It was about the only thing that matched – she felt frumpy next to him in her comfy clothes that she wore to class. Even her Air Forces were dingy compared to his, dull and dirty.

“Uh huh, right. I didn’t know that our first joint Buddies meeting was a fashion show, give a girl some warning next time, will yah?”

“Oh shut up, you look cute.”

Her eyebrows went up as she looked down at herself, then back at him. He threw her back the same look of disbelief.

“Did I stutter?” He asked, practically daring her to argue with him. She just blushed and shook her head, taking a drink of her coffee as they started towards Frazier. They walked shoulder to shoulder and Indiana was grateful – it was fractionally less common in the colder months, but she always got her fair share of cat calls on the streets. After getting to know him, she didn’t find Grayson even slightly intimidating anymore, but she still had the image of him on that bench, broad and serious, and she knew it was no coincidence that everyone fell silent with him beside her.

It was a new feeling, having to hold herself back. She’d never had the urge to wrap her arms around someone walking next to her, reach out and hold onto their arm, even just reach down to hold their hand. It made her giddy and skeptical at the same time as she tried to distract herself, watching the cars drive by, honking at each other.

“Where’d you go?” Grayson hummed, bumping her just barely and pulling her out of her head. Her heart swelled a bit hearing her signature phrase fall so easily from his lips, which seemed much pinker than she’d last remembered as he took a sip of his coffee and waited for her answer. A few moments later he quirked an eyebrow – a very well-manicured eyebrow. Did he get those waxed? She resisted the urge to reach up and smooth down her own that she knew were bushy and definitely not as nice as his.

“Indiana. You good?” He tried again,

“Hmm? Oh yeah, yeah I’m good, sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I was just checkin on you. Do we have a plan for this meeting or do you normally just go with the flow?”

“Depends on the mood she’s in. I’ve got some stuff in my bag – cards, my school stuff cause she likes to help me study sometimes. Other times she just likes to play 20 questions or hang out and talk. You’ll be the new shiny toy, so prepare for a bunch of questions. Especially about your teeth earrings.”

He balked as they got to the doors, following her quick steps into the lobby.

“I’m sorry my what?”

“It’s not everyday someone has diamonds in their teeth sir.”

“Okay but they aren’t teeth earrings, give me some fucking credit.”

“Definitely teeth earrings.”

“Jewels.”

“Teeth. Earrings. Oh my god, I’m gonna introduce you as teeth earring guy.” Her laughter filled the elevator as they stepped in.

“Oh god,” he groaned, letting his head fall back against the side of the little box as it moved up to the second floor. Indiana gave her most mischievous grin when the doors opened, walking quickly through the halls. It took Grayson a minute to realize that she was trying to beat him to Bekah’s room and he sped up his steps, trying to keep it casual as he passed rooms of kids and families, walking as fast as he could without full on running down the hall. They didn’t see the nurses laughing at their antics, but they didn’t care. Indiana side stepped into Bekah’s room abruptly, so fast that Grayson almost knocked her over trying to stop behind her.

Bekah was up walking around in a hoodie and leggings, and when she turned she immediately pointed over Indiana’s shoulder.

“Teeth earring guy!”

They couldn’t help it – they both busted out laughing, Indiana grabbing onto his shoulder to keep herself from falling over. When they finally got it together he spoke up first.

“My name is actually Grayson, but you can call me teeth earring guy if you wanna.”

“I’m Bekah Newcomb. Mandatory intro spiel, I’m 15, stage 3 leukemia. My parents aren’t pieces of shit, they just work a lot so they’re never here. No siblings because why mess with perfection. Any questions?”

Indiana bit her tongue – she had forgotten about the spiel, forgotten that it was Bekah’s favorite way to test new people, make them uncomfortable. Her eyes flickered over to Grayson, but he had the biggest smile on his face.

“Only one, but it’s very important. You ready?”

“Hit me with it,” she said, anxiously waiting.

“Is cereal a soup?”

Indiana couldn’t have planned a better intro for the two of them – they bonded so quickly right there before her eyes, debating the constituting factors of soup, and it had her melting to see him interacting so easily with the girl who meant so much to her. Bekah didn’t even attempt to put up her usual front, just laughed and joked with him as if she’d known him for years. The hours flew by, games of war and BS passing the time as Bekah sat at the top of her bed and Indiana and Grayson sat at the end of it, knees touching as they resisted the urge to peek at each-others cards.

The only hiccup came when Bekah got her meds at 7, but she put on her best show for Grayson, managing to keep her stomach settled enough to avoid puking. It was the most fun visit either of them had had in a while, and Bekah fought her drowsiness until visiting hours were over at 8. Indiana had to be the voice of reason, starting the goodbyes before the nurses came to kick them out.

“Are you both coming back on Thursday?” Bekah called out as they headed for the door.

“Hell yeah we are. Want us to bring anything?” Grayson grinned.

Indiana liked the sound of us.

“Cereal, so we can test our theories.”

“You got it. See yah Thursday Beks.”

“See yah Thursday, Earrings.”

His laugh was so loud that the nurses at the desk peeked their heads around to see what was happening – but they were smiling up at the two of them as they signed out and started down the hallway they’d come up.

As soon as they cleared the ocean hallway, Grayson turned to her.

“Was that okay? Like was that good?” There was genuine concern in his voice, and Indiana had to bite back a laugh.

“Are you seriously asking?”

“Yeah, ‘course I am.”

“Grayson she loved it. She loved you. I haven’t seen her smile that big since she’s come in for this round of treatment. Were you worried about that?” She didn’t stop herself from reaching out and holding onto his shoulder, squeezing lightly as they stopped walking.

“A little,” he admitted, relaxing under her touch.

“You’re a natural, I told you that. I promise you did great, I wouldn’t bullshit you.”

He stopped walking for a minute, and there was an intensity in his gaze that had her stomach fluttering.

She didn’t know what she expected, but it definitely wasn’t for him to say “Can I take you to dinner?”

“Now?” Stupid answer.

“Well, it is dinner time. But if you aren’t hungry I could wait a while. Or if you don’t want to go, that’s totally okay, I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything just cause we’re doing this together and we share a buddy and-”

“I want to go to dinner,” she cut him off, and he could see the hesitation on her face.

“I sense a but coming…”

“But -”

His heart sank a bit - he’d fallen into the trap he always managed to get himself into, falling too quickly, making his move too fast. But it was natural to be next to her, to talk to her, to have her hand stay on his shoulder. He liked the feeling of her there, the sound of her laughter and the brightness of her smile, and he couldn’t quite hold himself back it seemed. It made the rejection he knew he was about to get hurt even worse.

“But, I have to study tonight,” she sighed, and there was a genuineness to it that had him breathing a bit easier. She actually seemed disappointed, and the hope he felt rose up again.

“Oh yeah, the biceps whatever thing, that shit sounded complicated.”

“The brachial plexus, but A for effort,” she teased. “No but seriously, I gotta get that shit down or I’m gonna forget everything she said about it today. But I really do wanna go to dinner, I’m not blowing you off.” She rushed through her reassurances, dropping her arm and starting to walk again, towards the stairs this time.

“I believe you. How about Thursday, after we hang with Beks?”

“Yeah, I can do Thursday!”

“Gang.” Fuck. He’d been doing pretty well at hiding all the slang he’d picked up in LA.

“Did you… what?”

“Nothing, pretend you didn’t hear that. Thursday sounds great. Oh, before I forget, can you bring some non-dairy milk with you when you come?”

She paused for a minute, looking up at him from a few stairs below like he’d grown another head.

“You want me to bring milk… non-dairy milk… to dinner.”

“No! No no, for the cereal! I just have a long drive and I don’t want it to get all gross and hot on the way, and since you walked I figure you live close by. I can venmo you for it.”

“Oh! Yeah, I can bring some, you don’t have to venmo me for it, no biggie.”

“Okay cool. Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t ask you to bring milk on a da- to dinner. Bring it to dinner. That would be… weird.” His cheeks burned hotter than he realized they could. The fact that he’d almost slipped and said date had embarrassment and panic coursing through every inch of his body, and he could already hear the way Ethan was going to laugh when he told him the story later.

Of course Indiana heard it, but the way he was blushing to his ears had her pretending she didn’t.

“Thursday it is then,” she grinned, opening the door of the stairwell and holding it until Grayson passed through. The massive windows of the lobby were painted indigo, washed out a bit by the city lights but dark nonetheless.

“Damn it’s dark,” he muttered. Even though it was beginning to get dark earlier now with autumn on the horizon, it was still much dimmer than he was used to.

“It’s supposed to storm the rest of the week, probably just the clouds,” she shrugged. She looked small for the first time to him, headed towards the doors.

“Can I drive you home? It’s really dark out.” The words came out before he could think them over - that seemed to be the effect she had on him.

“Oh, it’s okay! I only live like three blocks from here, by the time you get your car I’ll probably be home,” she reassured him with a smile.

“Can I walk you then? I don’t like the idea of you walking out there in the dark by yourself.”

She paused at the door, and he half expected her to turn and remind him that she was very much capable of walking herself. But she surprised him, as she always seemed to do.

“Yeah, yeah that would be really nice actually. If you don’t care.”

“No, I’d love to. You ready?”

She nodded and pushed the doors open, hair blowing back in the wind as she walked outside. The temperature had dropped significantly, the true sign of a storm coming through just as she’d suggested.

He took his spot beside her, shortening his strides so he didn’t stray too far from her, standing tall and broad. Indiana felt small next to him, but in a good way for once. It was even more comforting than earlier, and she took slower steps than she usually did, trying to draw it out as long as possible. She tried to convince herself it was because she wanted to procrastinate studying, didn’t want to have to tackle her notes, but in reality she knew it was because she didn’t want the night to end.

It was a comfortable kind of quiet, the bustle of the city streets creating the perfect background noise as they weaved down the sidewalks. Indiana felt like if anyone looked at them they’d be able to see the little bubble of nervous energy surrounding the two of them - it had her feeling like she was back in middle school, giddy because the cute boy looked at her for two seconds.

Much too quickly, her apartment building appeared, tall and imposing in the dark.

“This is me.”

“Damn, that really was a short walk.”

For once, she wished it had been longer.

“Thanks again for walking me.”

“Yeah, yeah no problem, anytime. Um… have a good night.” He could hear the awkwardness in his tone, felt like it was palpable in the city air.

“Goodnight Grayson. Drive safe.”

“Goodnight Indiana. Sleep safe.”

That earned him his new favorite smile, but only for a moment before she disappeared into the lobby.

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“Bro, will you fucking focus?”

There were few things that annoyed Grayson more than his brother taking too long to finish his reps on the equipment, but that day he’d become his own pet peeve. In his head, distracted, constantly checking his phone - and Ethan was beyond annoyed.

“Alright, out with it. The fuck is goin on in there?” Ethan smacked Grayson’s head lightly, concern starting to overpower the annoyance.

“It’s nothing, let’s just finish this shit before it rains again,” he huffed, moving to the single pull up bar that he’d built last year and starting his reps. The sky was a dreary gray, the cold of autumn starting to come in and clinging to everything it touched.

It wasn’t nothing. Actually, it was much much more than that, and Ethan knew it too, but he didn’t pry. Yet. He did his best to keep his brother focused for the rest of their Wednesday work out, encouraging him to get more reps, to push a bit harder. It didn’t seem to clear his head at all, and Ethan held his tongue for a few more hours, waited until they were both showered, in fresh clothes and in the kitchen making lunch for him to finally ask again.

“Is it the girl? Indiana?”

Grayson didn’t answer, but the look that he threw Ethan from his spot in front of the stove told him enough.

“What’d she say? Lemme see.”

He passed his phone over, moving back to stir soup he was making as Ethan read the message. Grayson remembered exactly what it said, even if his twin didn’t mumble it out as he read.

“Hey, about dinner tomorrow. Turns out my sister and brother in law are moving out of my place (finally) because Charlie got a new photography deal and I promised I would help them move :( but we could do dinner on Saturday night if that works for you still? If not it’s okay. What’s wrong with that?” Ethan asked.

“She doesn’t wanna have dinner,” Grayson muttered, watching the soup spin in the pot as he stirred.

“That is so not what that means. Is this seriously what you’ve been pouting about all morning?” Ethan had to bite back his laugh. He hadn’t seen his brother this in his head about something in a while, and he didn’t want to make him feel stupid for being worried. “If she didn’t want to have dinner, she wouldn’t have asked about Saturday.”

“How do you know? You haven’t even met her.”

“Cause I’ve had a girlfriend for two years. You just learn what they mean in their texts even if they don’t say it.”

The last thing Grayson needed in that moment was a reminder that his brother was in a very loving relationship, but he let it slide. Eden had come into their lives a few years back, a fireball of take-no-shit and feminine power unlike either of them had ever seen. It was a learning curve, and Ethan was determined to ace the test. Grayson was glad that he had - she’d become a sister to him, and she brought fun and laughter to their life out in California.

“Call Eden, see what she thinks,” Grayson said, scooping soup out into bowls for the two of them. Ethan did as he asked, pulling up facetime and letting it ring through until she appeared on the screen, wide smile bright against her tanned skin, California sun bright in the background.

“Hey baby! What’s up?”

“Grayson’s having girl problems.”

“Oooo I love girl problems, hand him over,” she teased, still beaming when Ethan passed over his phone.

“Alright hit me with it, what’s the tea?”

Grayson tried to give her the short version of how he and Indiana had met, but he found himself elaborating with each detail that he remembered, from every word of the text down to the way she said goodbye the last time he’d seen her, only the night before. It felt like longer than that.

Eden was quiet for a moment after he finally finished the story, but by her coy smile he knew she was just trying to figure out how to word everything correctly.

“Okay, so first off, just to clear things up, she’s not blowing you off.”

He wanted to believe her, desperately, but the doubt must have still been obvious on his face, because she rolled her eyes before she launched into her explanation.

“She texted you today instead of tomorrow, which probably means as soon as she found out she told you. That’s a good sign. She’s nervous too, that’s why she said ‘if not it’s okay’, cause she’s trying to give you an out if you want it.”

He very much didn’t want an out. He actually wanted an in.

“The fact that she reached out at all shows that she cares, and she’s trying to set up another time which definitely means she’s interested. Most girls would just wait to see if you would set up another one, that’s what I would have done. Tested to see if you were invested. But if she’s willing to do it, that means she must be pretty sure of you. Or totally oblivious to the fact that you like her. Either way, you’re in good shape.”

“Who said I like her?” He muttered, getting a barking laugh out of both members of his audience.

He let them fall into conversation without him, the quick catch up of their day that they’d been doing lately since they were on opposite sides of the country. It was hard for Ethan, but he managed it well, with plenty of sappy texts and nightly facetimes that would have Grayson gagging but secretly wishing he had someone to talk to like that.

He wondered what Indiana was like on facetime while he ate his soup. He wondered what her favorite color was, why she took oatmilk in her coffee instead of regular, what her class schedule was. Wondered what time she woke up on the mornings when she could sleep in, what she’d want to do on a real date, what her room looked like. He never realized how much mental space he had for someone other than himself or Ethan, and he found himself obsessing the smallest things, trying to ignore the butterflies it brought to his stomach.

Ethan didn’t help once he finished his call and started devouring his luke-warm bowl of veggie soup.

“Bro you’re in deep, I can tell. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get this attached this quick before.”

“There’s just something about her dude. It’s scaring me a little honestly. I’ve never felt like this about anybody, and I’ve literally only seen her twice. I mean, I barely even know her, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Is that weird?”

Ethan thought of about twenty comebacks that he could have used, but he bit them back. He could feel his twin’s anxiety, and he wasn’t about to add to it.

“Nah man. It’s not weird. It’s intense, but it’s not weird. And hey, if she ends up being the one someday it’ll make a cute story. You hear all sorts of people say they fell in love the first time they saw their person, who says that couldn’t be you, yah know? But hey, I gotta meet her before you go proposing or some shit.” He bumped his shoulder with a smile, turning back to his bowl of soup so Grayson didn’t feel like he had to respond right away.

He thought on it for a minute, trying to process everything his brother had just laid out on the table. And then he pulled his phone out, clicked on his new favorite thread to check, and typed out his reply.

Saturday date it is

See you tomorrow :)

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Indiana Cross was never late. In fact, she was usually a minimum 10 of minutes early. But one too many outfits changes had slowed her down and she was cutting it too close for comfort - so close that when she looked out and saw the rain had started up again, she contemplated just running out into it and getting drenched instead of trying to make it back upstairs to get her umbrella.

She peered out into the street through the lobby doors, trying to decide if the drops would be enough to ruin her outfit, when something caught her eye.

A hand, waving quite cutely at her through the glass.

Grayson was outside, massive black umbrella over his head and a wide smile on his face as he walked up to the doors, waiting for her. He hadn’t said anything about coming to pick her up, but her heart fluttered at the sight of him anyways - she’d seen him just a few days ago, on Thursday, where they’d sat on Bekah’s bed again and ate cereal and laughed and joked. But it felt like it had been forever, and with the added stress of moving Charlie and Devin out, and the hard goodbye that she didn’t want to admit was hard, she hadn’t really relaxed since she’d last seen him.

He made sure there wasn’t a gap between the awning and his umbrella so she could duck under it without getting wet. As soon as she was under she made her move, if you could even call it that, and wrapped her hands around his bicep, trying not to gawk at how big it was. Instead, she looked up at him and scrunched her nose.

“Hi.”

“Hi there,” he beamed, and she could see the excitement in every single one of his features. “Figured I could walk you. You ready?”

She nodded, holding on to him as they started to walk down the sidewalks. His slow Jersey pace mixed with her short legs and quick New Yorker steps kept them perfectly in sync as they dodged puddles and soaked up the feeling of being together again.

The conversation flowed as easily as ever, Grayson asking her how moving Charlie out went, if she was sad to have her sister so far away. They talked about Cameron going to school in South Carolina, and how he and Ethan couldn’t spend more than a week apart without going crazy. She talked about school, the assignments she had lined up for the week, the exam she had already started studying for even though it was next Friday. Every time they got to a puddle that was too big for both of them to walk around he guided her to the dry part, walking lightly through the water so he didn’t splash her.

They got to the hospital much too quickly, and she let go of his arm reluctantly so he could pull the umbrella down and shake off the excess water before they made it in. Grayson led the way up the stairs and onto the unit, waving at the kids he saw, giving Andre a high five as he passed and asking the nurses how their shift was going. Indiana couldn’t help but notice the way the younger nurses - actually, all the nurses, seemed to be watching his every move, blushing and smiling at him as he passed.

She fought the urge to reach out and hold his hand, walking just a bit closer to him so their arms brushed against each other as they moved. It sent electricity through every nerve ending on her body, and she got so caught up in it that she almost forgot to stop him before they made it to Bekah’s room.

“Hey, one thing. I know we’re going on a date later, but let’s not have any… like us stuff, while we’re here. I don’t want Bekah to feel like a third wheel or anything, cause we’re here for her. Deal?”

“Deal.” There was a prideful look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite place, but she didn’t have time to analyze it before she stepped into the room.

Bekah was in her bed, curled up under the blankets on her side. Her head was wrapped in a light blue scarf - something her mom had brought her a few days prior, sweatshirts pulled down over her hands as she shivered.

Grayson’s face fell immediately, and he froze at his spot by the curtain. She looked sick, actually sick, for the first time, and it brought on a wave of memories and emotion that he wasn’t quite prepared for.

Indiana didn’t blink.

“Hey you. How are you feeling?” Her tone was soft, soothing as she moved to her bedside and laid a hand on Bekah’s shoulder, starting to rub against her cold skin.

“S’ cold,” Bekah mumbled, burrowing down further, so far that Indiana could only see her brown eyes and the dark skin of her forehead.

“Want me to go see if I can get you another blanket?”

She nodded weakly, resting her head back on the pillow as Indiana stood up and moved over to Grayson.

“You okay in here by yourself for a minute?”

Grayson nodded, half to answer and half to convince himself. She gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before she disappeared out the door. He stood there in silence for a moment, hands shoved in his pockets, unsure of what to do.

Bekah peaked her head out just enough for her mouth to be visible before she spoke.

“I’m not contagious, Earrings, you can come over here.”

The tension in his shoulders released and he walked over, sitting down as gently as he could on the edge of the bed.

“You’re weird,” Bekah said, eyes still closed. He panicked a bit, trying to keep his voice calm.

“Yeah? Why am I weird.”

“You don’t like being around sick people, but you’re volunteering at a kids hospital. Weird.”

“I don’t think anyone likes seeing people sick,” he murmured, trying to word everything very carefully.

“Indiana likes being around sick people because she likes to help. I think you like to help too but it makes you uncomfortable.”

There was no malice in her tone, but it still made him let out a dry laugh.

“You’re an observant one, aren’t you.”

“Not much else for me to do in here but watch people. But seriously, why’d you sign up to make yourself uncomfortable? Did someone tell you to?”

“Yeah, kinda. Someone told me if I could help that I should.”

“Your mom?”

“My dad actually,” he corrected quietly, toying with his fingers. Anytime he said his name out loud, no matter the form it took - dad, father, Sean - it was like he could feel it in his heart, a little tug on the original wound, a finger picking at a scab that wasn’t quite formed yet.

“I’ll have to thank him for that some time. I like having you around, no matter how awkward you are.”

“Well thanks Beks.”

He was saved from his devolving thoughts by a very excited Indiana coming back into the room with not one, but three blankets stacked in her arms.

“I declare it movie night,” she said, passing both of them their own blanket and rummaging for a remote, pulling up Emperor's New Groove before settling down into a chair on the other side of the bed. Grayson pulled one up so he could sit back, and without the distraction of conversation Bekah was out within the first 15 minutes, breaths deep despite the winces that she couldn’t hide. Indiana just ran a comforting hand over her arm until she lulled down further, tired muscles finally relaxing.

“She’s gonna be out the rest of the night, we might as well let her rest. You ready to go?” She asked after another twenty minutes, a bit of excitement returning to her eyes.

He nodded, moving to fix Bekah’s blanket over top of her one last time before he clicked the TV off and left her to sleep.

As soon as they signed out, he couldn’t hold back his questions.

“Is she getting worse? It seems like she’s getting worse.”

“Not necessarily. Chemo is weird like that sometimes, sometimes she’ll have good days with her meds, sometimes she’ll have bad ones. It’s just her body trying to fight for and against her at the same time. Exhausting, I would imagine. But she’s okay.”

“She doesn’t seem okay,” he said, looking back down the hallway before they went through the first set of doors.

“Hey.” He turned back to her, noted for a moment that her eyes were the same color as the painted jellyfish on the wall behind her. It grounded him somehow. “Don’t carry all this out here with you, it’ll wear you down. She’s in good hands, she’s sleeping, she’s safe. They’re doing everything they can for her, you’ve gotta trust in that.”

He knew that sometimes it didn’t matter how much they did, but he kept that to himself.

“You want me to compartmentalize.”

“A little bit, yes. It’s the only way you can survive something like this, trust me.”

He did. And he knew she was right. So he closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, let himself let go for a moment and breathe a bit easier. Without a hesitation, he reached a hand out for hers as soon as he opened his eyes, linking his fingers with hers.

“Okay. Let’s go on a date then.”

“Let’s go on a date,” she repeated, squeezing her tiny hand against his as they started down the hallway again.

He’d hatched a whole plan, ran the whole thing by both Ethan and Eden. They were going to get dinner at a little vegan food truck that he had made sure would be close by, walk the High Line for the last hour that it was open, and finish off with a late night coffee from Jets.

“Do I get to know the details of this date?” She asked while he opened the umbrella up outside and offered him her arm, almost as if she knew he was running through the itinerary in his head for the entire walk.

“Nope, you’re just along for the ride.” He grinned, trying to keep his confidence up as he started walking down the sidewalk.

For the first block, everything was fine. The rain picked up slightly, but nothing too bad, and it only made her hold onto him a bit tighter, leaning into him to avoid getting wet. He reveled in the feeling, holding himself back from leaning over and kissing her forehead.

The second block, things got a bit worse. The wind began to howl, thunder booming so loud above them that they both jumped. It seemed to shake the buildings around them a bit, and Grayson bit his lip, scrambling to think of what they would do if it got worse.

By the third block, all hell broke loose. The rain was coming down in sideways sheets, soaking their shoes and pants as Grayson tried to angle the umbrella and keep Indiana dry. It worked for approximately two seconds before the wind inverted the umbrella, leaving them both entirely exposed.

“Sorry, fuck, sorry!” He yelled over the roar of the rain, trying desperately to fix it as their shirts became heavy and wet. Their hair stuck to their foreheads, and when he pushed his back he saw that Indiana was laughing, laughing so hard that she leaned back slightly, clutching her stomach.

“C’mon, c’mon!” She grabbed his hand, dragging him along as they ran through the downpour. He followed her blindly, holding tight to her slippery hand as she weaved them through umbrellas and past people huddled under stoops.

When she pulled him into the lobby of her apartment building they were both laughing, breathless and giddy, so loud that a few people turned to look at them.

They didn’t notice.

“Your teeth are chattering,” Grayson laughed, reaching out to rest a hand on her quivering cheek. He was cold too, but he didn’t care. He hoped the blush he got out of her warmed her up a bit. “Not to invite myself up or anything, but do you care if I get dried off?”

She rolled her eyes at him, just taking his hand and leading him over to the elevator.

Unfortunately, a perfectly dry woman in her 40’s stepped on with them, and all it took was the sound of the water dripping off their clothes onto the tile for them to both break into a fit of giggles, Grayson’s mouth going wide in a silent cackle that had Indiana having to cover her own to keep from being too loud. She felt like a middle schooler getting scolded in the back of class until they made it to her floor, stepping past the woman with a muttered ‘sorry’ and wide smiles. They stared at each other until the doors closed, and then they were laughing again, holding onto each other’s shoulders as they tried to make it down the hallway and breathe at the same time.

Grayson was wiping tears by the time they got to her door, still giggling to himself as he started to shiver, his clothes getting colder by the minute. He took his shoes off outside the door, not wanting to track even more water inside as she opened the door

Her apartment was a bit warmer than the hallway, a welcoming and simple space with a small kitchen to the left and a cozy living room in front of him. Without realizing that he had even done it consciously, he had imagined her in a place just like this, with the big windows on the other side of the room covered in rain.

“Nice place,” he murmured.

“It’s no house, but it’s nice enough,” she teased. “Let me see if Devin left anything here that you can wear, hold on.”

She disappeared into a room on the right and he made his way into the living room, showing himself around. The picture frames on the top shelf caught his eye for a moment, and he smiled at how cute she looked as a baby, how beautiful she looked in her dress with her sister beside her. The woman holding her hands in the last one looked just like her, and he was about to ask when he felt Indiana behind him.

“That’s my mom. Nicole.”

“She seems like a great mom.”

“Yeah, she was.”

Grayson froze. Fuck.

“Shit, Indy, I’m sorry I-”

She put a finger to his lips. “It’s okay. But let’s not talk about it tonight, yeah?”

He nodded, trying to swallow down his guilt. He knew what it felt like to have that sprung on you without a warning, and he wished he could pull the words back out of the air, back out of her mind.

“Try these.” She passed him a pair of pajama pants. “I’m still looking for a shirt, I might have something that’s big enough for you. There’s a bathroom in my room if you wanna change in there.”

“I can just go shirtless for a while, it’s no big deal,” he reassured her. Her eyes went wide for a moment, and he saw her swallow.

“Okay. I’m gonna change now.”

“Okay. I’ll wait until you’re done.”

They stared at each other for a minute before Indiana finally moved, going into her room to start rummaging through her own clothes. She changed faster than she ever had, throwing on a pair of leggings and a crewneck with some comfy fuzzy socks before she was back in the living room.

“All yours. Um, do you want anything specific for dinner? I haven’t gone to the store in a while, and I would feel bad making somebody deliver in this weather,” she mumbled.

“Well, I’m vegan, but don’t worry if you don’t have anything, I can make it till I get home.”

In all honesty, he was starving, but he wasn’t about to end the date early because of a lack of plant based meal choices.

“I’ll see what I have, go change so I can put your clothes in the dryer with mine.”

He did as she asked, moving into her room. It was similar to the living room - white bedding, simplistic artwork in wooden frames on the walls. But above her bed were an assortment of vinyls, and he actually gasped when he saw the one in the middle.

“You listen to Cudi?!” He yelled, running back into the living room. Indiana was in the kitchen with a cucumber in her hands, but he made her jump so hard that she almost dropped it.

“Yeah, do you?”

“I fucking love Cudi dude, he’s the best artist of all time. I can’t believe you listen to him too.”

“Do I not give off Cudi vibes,” she laughed, putting the words in air quotes.

“No, you definitely do not.”

“What vibes do I give off then? Or do I not wanna know.”

“You don’t wanna know,” he grinned, flinching when she raised the cucumber like she was going to throw it.

“Go change Gray.”

He went back in, headed to her bathroom. It was much darker than the rest of the house, with a dark gray shower curtain adorned with wildflowers. He locked the door and stripped down quickly - his underwear were still damp, but he wasn’t about to go commando, especially if he was gonna risk having to hide a boner later. He had no idea how far the night was going to go, but he wanted to be ready for anything.

Standing there in the mirror in his boxers, he contemplated it for a minute, and then pulled a very 2016 Grayson move of dropping to the floor and doing a quick set of push ups so that his bare arms were a bit more swollen than they had been.

He pulled the pants on, groaning a bit at how long they were, and how tight they clung to his ass. Worried that he’d spent too long in the bathroom he picked up his wet clothes and headed back to the living room with the ends of his pants rolled up three times so he didn’t trip on them.

“You didn’t tell me Devin was a fucking giant dude! How tall is that mans?”

“He’s 6’5”,” Indiana laughed from somewhere he couldn’t see her, popping up with a loaf of bread and putting it on the counter. Her eyes went wide at the sight of him, so much tanned skin stretched over thick bands of muscle that it had her mouth dry. She swallowed again before she spoke. “Just sit those down, I can put them in the dryer.” “I can do it, are yours already in there?”

“Yeah, it’s over there.” She smiled and pointed to the doors in the hallway. He put them in and turned it on before he finally made it to the kitchen and saw the assortment on the counter. But she wasn’t looking at the food anymore - her eyes were all for him, and he felt himself fall nervous under her gaze again.

“What?”

“Nothing. You’re just cute.”

“Oh yeah, these pants are what do it for you huh?” He gave her a little spin just to make her laugh.

“Did I stutter?” She tilted her head to the side just barely, and it took all his self control not to lean in and kiss her right then. Instead, he just shook the thought from his head and stood close enough to where her shoulder was against his arm.

“What’re we workin’ with?”

“Well. I’ve got apples, a few grapes, jelly, some lettuce, bread, peanut butter, a sweet potato and crackers. Sorry.” She was sheepish, and he just shook his head at her with a frown.

“Nothing to be sorry for. You trust my PB&J making abilities?”

“That depends entirely on if you cut it into triangles or squares.”

“Oh c’mon, it’s triangles all day,” he scoffed, getting a laugh out of her that had him floating.

“Then yes, I approve. Do you care if I study while you make them? I just have a few things to go over.”

“Do whatever you gotta do,” he reassured her, moving to open the bread while she went back to her backpack. She was back quickly, with a stack of flashcards in her hands.

“Here,” he cleared her a spot on the counter next to where he was working. “Sit up here, teach me some stuff.”

“It’s just vocab stuff, nothing interesting.”

“Just say it outloud, maybe I’ll learn something.”

And so she did, laughing at the way his brows would furrow and the incredulous look he’d give her when it was a particularly long word. He took his time on the sandwiches, moving to cut up two apples and split the rest of the grapes between the two plates that he found after looking through the cabinets.

He cleared his throat and held out the plate on the palm of his hand. “Bon appetit madam.”

“Why thank you,” she giggled, sitting her cards down and taking it from him gratefully. She stayed perched on the counter and he leaned back against the fridge, taking his own plate in his hands. She complimented the food as she ate, wiggling slightly in the cutest way. Finally, she spoke up.

“Since we’re here, do I get to know what the actual date plan was?”

“Nah, I’m saving that shit for the future,” he smiled, taking the last bite of his sandwich. Even he had to admit it was good despite the slightly stale bread.

“Oh the future huh?”

“Yeah. Like next week.”

“I’ll pencil you into my planner then,” she grinned, tossing a few grapes into her mouth.

“I can’t tell if that’s sarcastic or not.”

“It’s not. Writing everything down keeps me sane I think.”

“Hey, organization is sexy,” he laughed, biting down on an apple slice.

“Good to know.” Her words were a bit muddled around the bite she had in her mouth, and Grayson put his empty plate aside, content to sit and watch her finish her meal. It was so easy to be around her, and he didn’t second guess anything he did or said - he hadn’t realized until her how much he altered himself around everyone he met.

“10 outta 10 PB&J, I’m impressed,” she smiled at him, moving her plate to the side after a moment. He couldn’t help but notice the tiny bit of jelly clinging to her cheek, purple and sticky against her skin.

“You’ve got a little - here,” he stepped up to her, reaching a hand out and running his thumb over it to get it off. But he didn’t let go - not when she looked up at him with those bright blue eyes, just like the jellyfish on the walls, and then he watched her look at his lips once before he leaned in.

She tasted sweet, lips soft against his. They were both hesitant, not sure of how far to take it. Short and sweet, they separated and looked at each other. He felt like he could float away when she brought a hand up to his hair and pulled him back in for another. He moved a hand to the counter for leverage, leaning into her as she smiled against him.

“You taste like apples,” she whispered, and then they were both laughing like they had been all night, cheeks and stomachs sore in the best way.

“C’mon you, what do you wanna do with the rest of our date night?”

“We could finish Emperor’s New Groove?” She poised.

He moved his hands to her waist, pulling her off the counter as she squealed, sitting her on her feet and taking her hand, headed to the living room. Ten minutes later and he was leaned back on the couch, feet up on the coffee table so she could curl up against his bare chest under the blanket while she scrolled through the film, trying to find where they left off.

He hoped that she’d undershoot it - anything to keep them right there, in each other's arms; bliss, as the storm raged on outside.

#SHES HERE #I.... kinda love this chapter #mixtape #grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfiction #grayson dolan fanfic #dolan twins #dolan twins fanfic #PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT

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krispydefendorpolice · 4 years

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Once Upon A Miraculous - Part 2

Ok before we even get into the story here’s yet another warning to think twice before you continue. Jason dies. He dies in a gruesome, traumatizing event and even though I think I went over it very lightly I still think it’s pretty fucking graphic. I’m the writer and I. Had. To. Fucking. Stop. And take a break before I could continue with the story.

Violence and the results it can have on the body ahead. Madness from the pit and angst from hurt feeling of being replaced ahead. For the last time. You’ve all been warned so read at your own risk.

I’m going to trust that you all know your headspace well enough and for those that choose to read anyways? Thank you for going on this journey with me. I hope the falls between here and the end are worth the river journey and the lake we reach at the end (yes those are f*ing metaphors. I’m feeling philosophical at the moment)

Previous Masterpost list

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“It’s me Nettie. I’m alive”

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Jason was 14 years old when he met the Batman. He came across an unwatched batmobile. The tires on it could be sold for more than the average car and he had the tools on him.

One last check and he got to work. He was already thinking about the things he could buy for himself and his street siblings that he forgot the number one rule. Always keep a lookout.

The Batman caught him red handed with three wheels off and the fourth half done. After being forced to return the wheels to the car Jason was taken to the underground batcave. He met Alfred and the unmasked Batman. Bruce “fucking billionaire” Wayne.

Less than a month later he’s living in the manor and has been “adopted”. He doesn’t trust it. Rich men don’t want son’s and there are too many kids with stories about the horrors that “nice family’s” hide behind closed doors. But he’s got a roof over his head and food in his stomach. If Wayne thinks that will be enough to buy him he’s going to find out how wrong he was.

Jason starts small at first. If he can just get the man angry enough to throw him out he won’t have to worry about being brought back. Setting all the alarms in the house and making them unfixable was a bit of a challenge. Seeing Bruce’s face when he changed the passwords was brilliant.

It continued that way for a few months until Bruce finally decided if Jason was gonna be a little shit he could learn to fight better instead. Jason decided that if he was going to learn to fight he would take over the abandoned Robin role too.

Dick was not happy. The first time Jason got to meet the man was after he was seen as Robin. He came to the manor and yelled at Bruce, saying he had no right to give his costume and name to someone else. Jason listened from the second story.

As angry as the two men got neither came to blows over it. Dick ended the fight by storming out and he put the older hero on radio silence for months after but neither had any injuries from their disagreement. If Jason had ever even looked at his old man funny as a kid he would have a black eye and welts on his back to show for it.

Maybe Bruce could be trusted after all?

****************************

At 15 years old Bruce is engaged to Selina Kyle. Their on again off again thing as hero and thief where they danced around each other had been driving Jason and Alfred batty. It was nice to see them actually settle into their thing as each challenged the other and kept them on their toes.

When Selina said she was going to be spending the summer with the daughter of an old schoolmate of hers Jason didn’t think much of it. He knew she had a legit degree she used to assess the potential spoils of her criminal activities.

He arrived at Wayne Enterprises a little early for their lunch meeting. Bruce had told him they’d meet in the lobby so after greeting the receptionists he looked for a place to sit. In one of the chairs facing the doors a small girl looked up at the windows before going back to her book and writing something. No she was probably drawing with long pencil strokes like that.

Curious he walked over to see if he could look at her drawing. He could see what looked like an image of the stained glass windows on the page but the lines through them gave it a softer, almost flowing shape. Which was weird cause glass wouldn’t follow those lines.

“What are you drawing?” He found himself asking her.

She jumped so he’d obviously surprised her. His thoughts were captured by her bright blue eyes. In the light coming from those stained glass windows she’d been admiring they almost seemed to glow.

She said she was designing a dress while she waited for her guardian and the fiancé to return. This must be Selina’s friends daughter.

Lunch was a fun affair where the girl shared she would be designing costumes for Jagged stone to wear during his concert tour this summer. She would stay with Selina in Gotham from Monday to Thursday while she designed and created clothes she would fly to whatever city Jagged was playing in from Thursday to Sunday to be on hand during the concerts for any costume repairs that would be needed.

Bruce volunteered Jason to show Marinette around the city since it wouldn’t be safe for her to be alone. Jason agrees because it’s summer break and he likes the Marinette he talked stained glass windows with and wonders what other beauty she will see in his dark city.

He is breathless by the beauty she sees all around her. The joy and happiness she shines as easily as she breathes. Everyone she meets becomes a new friend. Even the tamer of the Rogues and the Siren’s who meet her are enthralled by her smile and her charm.

Kissing her was a completely spontaneous action. He had thought about it for weeks by then but she had said there was a guy back home she sort of still had a crush on though she wasn’t happy with how they wanted to deal with the liar situation. So he was resigned to keeping his budding feelings to himself so that he could see her happy.

It had been the night of the last concert. Jagged had Marinette come on stage where he officially introduced her as his designer and the creator of all the tour costumes to the world. She had beamed with a smile so wide that when she threw herself into Jason’s arms after walking off stage he had just pulled back and placed a kiss on her lips.

He froze when he realized what he did. Marinette had stood on her tiptoe to start their second kiss.

For a week they were blissfully happy and free with their affection. Multiple paparazzi got pictures of them holding hands, kissing each other or just cuddling when they were waiting. Jasonette and the Sunshine of Gotham blew up on social media.

Saying goodbye to her was a really hard thing to do. So Jason went shopping for something he could give her to remember him by. They had decided they would try a long distance thing but he was afraid it wouldn’t be enough. If they did fall apart from distance he wanted something she could use to always fondly remember the summer fling they had.

It was perfect. He knew it might be impractical but he was convinced that it would be the perfect gift for her someday.

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They made it work. They had talked everyday and he spent every chance he could in France with her. He met her parents and they met Bruce as well. Marinette had her school situation resolved following her return.

He was proud of her for sticking up for herself when all her classmates seemed ready to abandon the liar just because Marinette had a connection they could use again. Nathaniel, Rose and Juleka were all artsy like Marinette and he could see how their creative energies inspired each other and themselves.

He was a week away from his departure to spend the summer in France with Marinette and her family when it happened. A false lead led to his capture by the Joker.

(Begin Angst)

The first break hurt but it was bearable. He had broken bones before. His bio dad had broken them frequently when he was still alive. The fifth hurt as bad. He also had a concussion and several burns at that time as well.

What felt like days, weeks, years... minutes?, passed in a haze as he jerked with every new hit. He was a mess from vomit, blood, piss and shit when his body couldn’t follow his commands any longer.

He held to the belief that Batman would come for him. That his father could still save him.

When the Joker left, Jason was lying on the concrete floor looking at the bomb countdown. He knew he had to get out of there, he pushed his battered body past the point he could feel pain and struggled to the door. He pulled on it but it wouldn’t open. The rattle of chains on the other side told him why.

He collapsed to the floor, tears streaming as he watched the numbers countdown.

10, 9, 8...

I’m sorry Alfred.

7, 6, 5,...

I’m sorry Bruce.

4, 3,...

I’m sorry Nettie.

2, 1,

I love...

(End Angst)

He was only 16. He would never see 17.

***************************

It was dark. It was small. It was hard to breathe. He was in some kind of box. He screamed and hit the walls around him trying to get out, trying to find some air.

It surprised him when cold pieces fell from above him. It had a new smell. He focused his determination on that spot. More of the new thing came down into his cage. He pushed it away from him and continued. There. Briefly a breath of clean, fresh air.

With new determination he pushed harder towards the life giving air. He was able to pull his head and shoulders out of the box. He rested for a moment swallowing greedy gulps of air into his starved lungs. When he was able to continue he pulled himself from the ground and looked around. As far as his eye could see were stones standing from the ground around him and beyond those trees and underbrush fading into shadows.

He picked a direction at random and began to walk.

It was familiar. Grab an item, run. The actions came without conscious memory. The streets were cold but he was big enough to scare off the worst of the predators. There were a few small people, kids, that came to him for protection from the bigger people. He did what he could but it never seemed to be enough he thought, as he stood over another small, broken body.

“I can give you a way to protect them.”

He looked up. She was beautiful but her eyes were cold. Empty and unfeeling. But she had promised to give him a way to protect the little ones. He was willing to try anything for that power.

What was his name? How old was he? He didn’t know.

****************************************

Jason.

He remembered his name as he lunged from the sickly green waters that Talia had led him to. He remembered Bruce, his father, but he didn’t save him from the Joker. He remembered the Jokers laughter ringing in his ears as he stood over another broken child on the streets. And the new shadow following the shape of the Batman when he was an amnesiac wandering the streets of Gotham.

He had been REPLACED!! He fumed. The anger and resentment over Bruces inability to save him, to avenge him and his replacing him as if Jason meant nothing, festered and boiled in his mind.

When he left the League of Shadows his only plan was to go back to Gotham and get revenge for his own death and to hurt his so called father as badly as he could. If Jason meant so little to him then he would show how little Bruce meant to him.

(Mild violence ahead)

Their first reunion was in a fight over drug dealers selling heroin to kids. Jason looked directly at the bat, pulled his gun and shot the dealers in the forehead.

(Violence over)

“These are my streets now. I won’t tolerate kids getting hurt on my watch.”

He disappeared before Batman could restrain him.

For weeks they danced around. Batman trying to catch him and Jason using every trick he learned from the Bat himself to avoid him.

Blood flowed freely from the wicked and the corrupt. He was a villain in his own right bringing judgement and execution down upon the criminals of Gotham.

Batman always appealed to the better side of him, to stop his madness. Didn’t he understand that part died? The child that trusted in heroes to protect the innocent died at the hands of a monster. A monster that his father couldn’t chase away.

The RedHood was risen from the pits and unleashed upon the evil of Gotham.

He was 18 years old.

******************************

Months of their back and forth dynamic between RedHood and Batman passed. The Batman couldn’t arrest the RedHood but the RedHood couldn’t stop tweaking his cape to get a reaction.

Didn’t he care? Wasn’t he going to stop him? He was doing everything wrong so why wouldn’t Bruce do the same for him that he did for all the other criminals in Gotham?

It was when Jason had the Joker at the business end of a gun that he got his answers.

“Don’t do it Hood,” Bruce pleaded. “It will change you beyond what you can come back from if you do.”

“I’ve already killed, B,” his words caught as he gasped, fighting back tears of rage. “My hands are dripping in blood.

He laughed madly then, “‘Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?’ Who knew that bitch knew what she was talking about.”

“It’s the madness that’s done it Hood. You’ve barely held control before. But you’re fighting the killing urge and directing it to those that do deserve it.”

“And yes,” he interrupted before Jason could argue, “no one deserves it more than Joker for what he’s done to you. But if you do it then the madness will win. Please I can’t lose my son again,” he begged.

“WHY DOES THAT MATTER NOW?!” Jason screamed. “He killed me. I was dead in the ground and you let him walk. WHY COULDN’T YOU KILL HIM?! AM I THAT MEANINGLESS TO YOU!?!!”

“I COULDN’T!” Bruce yelled back. “If I killed him I wouldn’t be able to stop killing. It wouldn’t just be the Joker that died, it would be every criminal in Gotham who dared step out of line. I wanted to. I still want to. He took my son from me but I know that once I start I won’t be able to stop. I’m sorry that I’m so weak, but I couldn’t.”

The Batman, no Bruce Wayne, stood before him, head bowed in defeat as he admitted to his greatest shame.

Jason looked away before dropping the gun and walking away. He knew Bruce would take the Joker back to Arkham so he just needed to get away and think.

They worked to build their relationships anew. He couldn’t be the son Bruce remembered anymore, too much had changed, but he could be the son he was today. He could do what he could for the Replacement and make sure the kid didn’t get himself killed on the streets. The girl that joined them got the same measure of protection though she was better able to defend herself.

When he finally let go of thoughts of revenge he could think about a time when a stray spark of living Sunshine found its way to cold, grey Gotham. He finally looked up news of Marinette to see how she was doing. He broke down and cried when her wedding announcement to the son of a Parisian fashion house was the first thing to pop up.

Selina, Bruce and Alfred all encouraged him to take a trip to France anyways to get some closure, to say goodbye. But he refused, the smile in her eyes as she looked at her new husband in the picture convinced him that she was happy. And that was all he ever wanted for her, even if it couldn’t be him giving the her the world.

He was 19 years old when he made peace with his past.

****************************

He was 20 years old when news of the villain Hawkmoth and his defeat hit the international press. He was livid to realize that his beloved Nettie had been in so much danger just living in a city that should have been safe. That the Justice League had done nothing when the citizens pleaded for help.

It felt like the period after his revival in the pit as he stormed the halls of the WatchTower. His vision was in various shades of red and his thoughts just kept turning back to how Marinette might have been killed in one of the villain’s monster attacks. Hell, she probably did die once or twice only to be revived by the hero’s magic.

If he ever got to meet LadyBug he would shower her in appreciation for defending the city his Nettie lived in.

The door crashed and nearly fell off the hinges when he threw it open and stormed through into the Leagues council room.

“RedHood,” Batman said calmly as he stalked up to the table.

Slamming his hands down and leaning over the collected heroes he asked what he’d wanted to since the news broke.

“Who. Screwed. Up?”

“When footage of the attacks first reached the League, investigations were done. No lasting damage was left from the attacks so it was written off as a publicity stunt and subsequent messages were ignored,” Batman explained. “It was a phone operator that fielded these calls. They went based off the assessment done by the League and deleted them.”

“She could have died B. I was dead and couldn’t do anything but you should have been keeping an eye on her. You know what she means to me.”

Batman nodded, “I should have. The messages never reached me but I should have been keeping a watch on her regardless of that.”

“You’re going to make amends to those heroes for ignoring them,” Jason stated. “All of you are,” he added, including the other heroes in the room in his statement.

“Yes,” Batman agreed.

Jason jerked his head in a nod and left the room. Going back to the cave where he can do his own check and make sure Marinette was safe.

********************************

It wasn’t just the League that failed Marinette. Jason knew he was as much to blame. If he had gone to Paris? If he had seen her? If he had told her he was alive? Would she have suffered under Hawkmoth? If, if, if.

News of the divorce of up and coming fashion designer MDC and the son of the fashion mogul and former villain Adrian Agreste hit airwaves like lightning. In the beginning people claimed it was Marinette who left because of Hawkmoth’s identity. Adrian was fast to shut that down and own that he was the one to ask for the divorce for personal reasons. With what seemed to be an amicable break up the world turned its attention to the next sound bite.

He’d failed her again. Jason just sat by his empty grave as he cried when he learns about it. He argues with Alfred and Selina when they bring up him visiting Paris afterwards. This time Bruce supports his decision. He doesn’t approve and lets Jason know it, but he supports him.

Returning to the cave after patrol, Jason was the last to arrive. He didn’t know why everyone was gathered by the computer so he went to take a look. He didn’t hear what Alfred said as he walked over. Momentarily blinded by the helmet as he removed it, he froze when he finally saw what, no who, had his family’s attention.

She had grown since their first meeting, not in height but in maturity. She had traded the fun pigtails for an elegant braid, and jeans for a sundress obviously of her own design.

“Hi, Monsieur Alfred introduced the others but I haven’t gotten your name yet. I am Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she introduces herself as if she were meeting a stranger for the first time.

It hurt his heart that she would do that with him, though he realizes why she did. She didn’t know. She couldn’t know that it was him under the mask.

The words wouldn’t come though when he tried to find them and tell her. He finally settled for showing her, hoping she would believe her eyes.

After she gasped in reaction to his reveal he thought maybe his approach was a bit boneheaded after all. Nothing to do but go forward from there though.

“It’s me Nettie. I’m alive.”

Marinette teared up but instead of breaking down and crying she ran to him and jumped into his arms. Burying her face in his neck she just murmured “You’re alive” over and over.

“Yeah,” he admitted. He held her as tightly as he dared. A little worried he might hurt her by accident.

When she pulled away he reluctantly let her go but it was worth it.

She gave him the biggest smile and he saw it again.

He was 21 years old and the sun was shining in cold, grey Gotham once more.

————————————

So I really got into the structure I used for the first chapter and exuded to use the same for this one. They end at different ages because Jason’s a few months older and this happened in that in between time (the real reason is sections were getting too busy so I add another year to his story. How do I rationalize it? Well birthdays are a thing so there you go).

I hope everyone enjoyed this wild ride. I do plan to do an epilogue chapter but that will have to wait until next weekend. Anyone have any ideas you can send it to me.

@pepelachanel @mellownieice @kris-pines04 @zebrabaker @two-faced-biatch @vixen-uchiha @mandy984 @shamefullove @mycupisbroken @dawnwave16 @abrx2002 @mochinek0 @tbehartoo @fertileleaf @thanks-captain-obvious @ravennightingaleandavatempus @hinata3487 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @zalladane @dast218 @miraculous786 @18-fandoms-unite-08 @moonlightstar64 @mooshoon @ladybug182 @iggy-of-fans @legendaryneckjudgestudent @megawhitleycalderonpaganus @finallyaniguana @tog84 @mystery-5-5 @evil-elf16

#jasonette #marinette x jason #violence and angst #extreme violence #torture aftermath #angst #madness #DLDR #dead dove don’t eat #I’ve warned you multiple times so don’t come at me #violence

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gothamcitystories · 3 years

Text

Submitted by Al Reinman;

Transcribed by Carter Albrecht

Like most GC natives, I hate this damned place in a special way only a Gothamite can. I grew up here. It’s gross, smells like a tire fire, the rich live in their high towers looking down on us all, I can’t walk to the corner to pickup a pack of smokes after dark, unless I’m packing at least my mag light(we’ll get to that), and we’ve got a new freakshow causing chaos every week. Don’t even get me started on the public transportation.

That being said, Gotham is MY town, y’know? Some out-of-towner says any of what I just said, I’m as likely as any Gothamite to knock their teeth in. See, I love this town as much as I hate it, in that special way only a Gothamite can. It’s hard to explain that to someone who isn’t from here.

So anyways, I work in sanitation. It’s not bad work, all thing considered. I do third shift tunnel walking. It’s a newer thing. See, after that Rat-King business, when that guy was kidnapped homeless people and forcing them to build something or other in the sewers, few years back, the city assigned Sani workers to do regular patrols to make sure nothing hinky is going on, y’know, like wannabe gangsters or shit like that.

Most of the guys hate tunnel walks. And I mean, that’s fair, there’s more of a chance to run into that big ass crocodile guy, or any of the other bozo’s Arkham can’t seem to keep ahold of. Of course I never saw the guy. Never saw much of anything, except a few teenagers playing thug. So I volunteer to do most of the walks. Got me one of those big metal flashlights, my mag, because you can bust a skull with those things, if you need to. I also have a piece, but we’re not supposed to carry while we’re on the job, so I usually don’t, unless one of the loonies is loose. This wasn’t one of those time, just so you know.

It was this past Halloween. I was kinda pissed because one of my buds was playing a show at The Hole, that dive over on Park. Well, I clocked in, and my super asked if anyone wanted to take the Walks tonight. I figured eight hours strolling was as good as I was going to get. My hand shot up, and into the tunnels I went. We’re not supposed to, but I like listening to podcasts while I walk. Vicki Vale’s Gotham Report is a favorite of mine. So I pop a headphone in, only one, I’m not stupid, and I start off into the dark.

Tons of concrete and steel kills any kind of cell signal, so I download my podcasts before I head down. This episode was an exciting one for me, because she was talking about an old Gotham legend. So if you grew up in GC, you were probably raised on stories about Solomon Grundy, who would emerge from the swamps to the north to gobble up kids who misbehave. Well, if you’re old enough. I hear kids nowadays are treated to threats of the Batman coming through their windows. Not sure which is a worse prospect.

Anyways Vale goes into the founding of Gotham, and the Five Families. Every kid learns about them in grade school, Alan Wayne, Theodore Cobblepot, Edward Elliot, Jeremiah Arkham, and Ezekiel Kane.

So story goes that the founders had contracted a cousin of Wayne, a guy by the name of Cyrus Gold. Gold was a merchant of some influence. The stories vary on the why, and the how, but some how, Gold was murdered, and his body dumped in that section of marshlands to the north, Slaughter Swamp.

So according to Vale, Theodore Cobblepot was into shady stuff way back when, and he had his eyes on Gold’s businesses. Old Theo was a cold dude from reports. His daughter, Millie Jane, she was fond of nursery rhymes, so old Theo would make men who crossed him recite them from memory before he wacked them. So Gold gets walked out to Slaughter Swamp. He’s blindfolded, and he’s reciting that old one, Solomon Grundy. Y’know, born on a Monday, etcetera etcetera. Theo pops him, plants him, absorbs his business.

Jump forward. The urban legend starts up, based on that version of the story. Kids say that if you say the rhyme in Slaughter Swamp on Halloween night, he’ll rise from the swamp and get you. You know how all those old stories, they never say what the ghosty or ghouly is gonna do, just that he’ll get you. I remember taking my first girlfriend out to Slaughter Swamp to summon Solomon Grundy. Lots of teens did it when I was in school, but no one I knew ever saw him.

Anyways, the route I took that night had an old disused outfall into Slaughter Swamp. Bruce had it redirected when he took over Wayne Enterprises a few years back, but the outfall is still open, and it’s a good spot to stop and have a smoke, about halfway through the route, so when I got there, I stepped out and had me a smoke.

I was on the phone with this girl I’d been chatting with, she does maintenance on the electricals running under the city, so we see each other at work sometimes. Anyways, I made this joke about being in Slaughter, and trying to summon Grundy. Just being funny, y’know. She’s loving it. She’s a Gotham Girl herself, but she never got taken out to Slaughter, but she’s egging me on, so I go for it.

It’s a simple rhyme:

“Solomon Grundy,

Born on a Monday,

Christened on Tuesday,

Married on Wednesday,

Took ill on Thursday,

Grew worse on Friday,

Died on Saturday,

Buried on Sunday,

That was the end,

Of Solomon Grundy.”

I wait. I say nothing, she says nothing. I’m hoping to build the tension and scream, give her a scare, y’know? Only, about the time I’m planning on screaming, my mag goes dead, so does my phone. Now the phone doesn’t surprise me. I carry a portable power bank for that, but with the concrete, you don’t get a lot of signal, so it doesn’t do much good, so I hadn’t hooked it up to charge. But the mag? Those batteries were brand new at the start of the shift. I always change my batteries before I go into the tunnels. Anyone who works underground will tell you there’s nothing more important than your light, y’know? And I always carry plenty of spares. Nobody wants to be down there in the dark. I always, ALWAYS put new batteries in before I start my shift.

There on the outfall, you get a bit of moonlight. More than in the tunnels. I’ll admit, I was spooked a bit, I should’ve had more than a few hours left on those batteries. So I was kinda rushing to get the old ones out and a spare pare in, and yeah, I let the old ones roll off into the swamp. I mean yeah, I was jumpy, but I wasn’t jumping at shadows, y’know? I’m a GC native. We’re tough stock, and hard to actually scare. Like really scare, y’know?

So the batteries roll off the concrete block in front of the outfall. Plop plop, into the swamp. Suddenly it gets real quiet. I mean dead quit. The owls, y’know, the ones on that preserve out there? Quiet. Bugs and night birds? Quiet. Hell, I don’t think I was even breathing, y’know? Just felt real tense. Your eyes play tricks on you at night. In the dark, you see things different, and out by the outfall it’s real dark, forest dark, y’know? Even with the super moon we had on Halloween this year, it was stupid, mind tricking dark out there. But I swear to you, there was fog rising from the swamp. And it wasn’t there before my light went out. Thick shit too.

Then I heard the splash. Like something big coming out of the water. I’ll admit that I was spooked. But I didn’t run or nothing. My eyes were adjusting to the dark, enough to make out the big shape moving towards me. I managed to fumble the new batteries into the mag about the time I asked:

“Who’s there?”

Thinking I’d stumbled on some teens playing a prank, y’know.

I got my light on right before the thing responded. Damn thing must have been nine foot tall, and wide as a truck. Dressed in the ragged, rotten remains of a suit. Sonovabitch looked like a jacked albino Frankenstein, like all rotted, deep sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, lumbering like it had a bad leg, skin and hair were bleach white, and the fingernails and teeth were all yellow and sick looking. And it spoke. Sounded about like rocks rubbing together. The thing lumbered towards me, hands outstretched, reaching as if to grab me, it rasped:

“Solomon Grundy, born on a Monday.”

I booked. I mean, I think it took me fifteen minutes to reach city limits? And I didn’t go back underground for months. It took me awhile to work up the nerve, y’know? But I’ve been thinking about it, and all the stories say Grundy only comes out on Halloween, right? So I should be fine as long as I’m not down there by Slaughter Swamp on Halloween, right? I should be fine.

Right?

#dc #gotham #gotham city #Gotham city stories #solomon grundy #batman #batman fic #batman fandom #batman fanfiction

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fundielicious-simblr · 3 years

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💕 Love Day Love Story Series 💕

(AN: This is the last installment of the Love Day story series, I wasn’t planning on it being at the end of the year but it just so happened to work out perfectly 😂 Even though there are and will be more couples, we all know that no one knows much about them and they won't be included in the storyline if they haven already [including myself sskksksk] This was an idea that came to me in the middle of the night and it’s been fun to lay out the dynamics of the relationships between the various couples - anyway, onto the post!)

Beckett and Mandy

How did you guys meet?

[B] “I’m the 7th of 13 kids, so right in the middle, and as my older siblings got married and moved out I began trying to determine what it is that I wanted to do. Ever since I was young I would admire my father as he preached a message every week, I’d ‘help’ him by going and grabbing his bible for him whenever I knew he was working on a sermon - he’d even humour me and let me prepare a small bit and let me help him’. That’s probably where my burden to become a preacher came from, and I’ve been led by that burden ever since, I got my degree in Bible & Missions via correspondents course to help me lay the foundations for the dreams I have of doing missions work. I never got to go on international missions like some in my family, but it was great when our parents would take us to go serve the eldery in care homes and assist other churches in their mission field. My father once told me ‘Son, as a preacher you’d be greatly served if you had a godly wife to assist you so that you can both serve together’; so from then on my dad put it on my heart to pray for a Godly wife. It wasn’t in the way that my sisters were and still are encouraged to pray for their spouse, but the main message stays the same. I initially met Mandy when she moved to Newcrest to serve as a mother’s helper to one of the families at our church, at the time I didn’t give her any mind as I wanted to be fully focused on my college courses and my future plans - funny how things turn out. Mandy became friends with my sisters so I ended up seeing her quite a bit, and as we talked more whenever I had free time, I realised there were qualities I admired in her that my dad told me to ‘look out for’ so to speak. We especially bonded over our shared love for missions work, some of her relatives were missionaries for a brief time period and she mentioned how she had dreams of mission work since she was young. When her parents came to visit her from Oasis Springs, I asked her dad if we could begin a courtship and he agreed, as soon as he said yes things moved so fast that it seemed we blinked and suddenly we’re engaged and planning the wedding, then we blinked again and we were married.”

[M] “I’m the oldest of 6, and my parents were very intentional to raise us in the proper way: we were homeschooled and we attended many different conferences and revivals as a way of learning and making new friends. As a little girl I was always mesmerised whenever missionaries would come into our church and speak about their experiences both domestically and abroad, I used to admire how they were so brave and willing to go out into the unknown to tell other people about the Lord - some even went into the jungle! After graduating highschool, my mother encouraged me to use my gifts to serve others and since I was good with children I volunteered with the sunday school program every week at church. One Sunday, a family friend told me that her sister had just had her 8th baby and needed a ‘mothers helper’ around the house and that she suggested me as a possibility! I was flattered by the opportunity and my parents encouraged me to do it, so I moved. Moving to Newcrest was easy I guess, I dove head first into helping around the house and the kids that I didn’t have much else to do. On my first sunday at Newcrest Baptist, Amira, Priscilla, and Annette were so gracious and welcomed me in and made me feel like I’d been there my whole life! I knew they had an older brother, but he was busy with classes quite often that I didn’t see him much, I really got talking to Beckett when he’d have a break from classes and I was given a day off from the family I helped. We really bonded over our shared love of missions work, and I thought to myself ‘this guy is...wow’ he was ticking boxes that I didn’t even know I had written down [laughs] I was so happy when he asked my parents if he could court me, and even happier when we got engaged! I never expected to find my husband because of a babysitting job - but I guess the Lord works in mysterious ways.”

How have you changed since marriage

[b] “After we got married, we got a chance to serve as missionaries out in Selvadorada and we grabbed that chance with both hands. It’s a whole new environment out here and we love it, while it may be hot and it took a few sunburns to get us used to the proper way to be out and about in the hot sun. We’re thankful that we have a great team at home who are willing to fundraise for us anytime we mention it, and it helps us keep our lives here even though we do have to tighten our belts every now and again. We told the Lord that we’d be open to any children that he wanted to give us, and since we’ve not been blessed yet we’re taking our time and being content with what we have now. Looking into the future, it’s exciting to see how this mission field has potential to grow and possibly become something, all in good time of course.”

[m] “Serving as missionaries out in Selvadorada has truly been a wonderful experience for me, it took a while to adjust to the oppressive heat and humidity, the bugs, and the culture - but I’m happy for the progress we’ve made. Whilst we’ve not been blessed with children yet, not everything goes the way you want it, I’m using this as a lesson in contentment; The children in the outer villages are a great distraction and love learning, which I am happy to help them do. While I don’t know what the future holds, I’m happy that I get to do it with my person”

#fundie sims #fundiesims #quiverfull sims #quiver full sims #modest sims #homeschool sims #sims 4 romance #Love Day Love Story Series #collins family #collins legacy #sims 4 legacy #gen 3 #Beckett and Mandy #post #these two are truly the most forgotten people ever #tbh everyone after Reece is a 'lost kid'#at least theyre looking cute while going out to terrorize locals

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yoonjinkooked · 5 years

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Daddy Day Care | Chapter 1

pairing; jungkook/female OC genre; fluff, romcom, smutty in the future, Dad!Jungkook rating; explicit (IN FUTURE CHAPTERS ONLY, not yet) words; total so far (4752)

— synopsis; Jeongguk is your average 25-year-old - job, work, friends - everything regular. Except, he has a 5 year old daughter. And he’s single. Until a “princess” waltzes into his life.

warnings for this chapter: You will want to have Jungkook’s children. Eunmi is adorkable. SlutJin. Banter. Cursing. Oh and I borrowed two Mamamoo members for this story too.

CHAPTER 1

words; 3503

“Your hair looks weird, dad.”

I open my eyes, only to find Eunmi just a few inches away from me, eyes glued to the top of my head. Her cheeks are puffy, telling me she woke up minutes ago. Of course she did – she can’t sit still for minutes. I look behind her, at the clock and sigh, confirming my suspicions.

“It’s 6:30AM Eunmi. Why?” I grunt.

“I was bored,” she shrugs. “Your hair really looks weird, dad. Can we have bacon for breakfast?”

“Breakfast can wait a little bit,” I reach for her and snuggle her on top of me. “Now you’re gonna cuddle with dad for a while.”

“You just want to sleep more, not cuddle,” she laughs at me.

“No,” I laugh, squishing her closer to my chest. “But I always want to cuddle with my little girl.”

“No, you just want to sleep.”

“You’re five, you shouldn’t be this smart.”

“That’s your and mom’s fault,” I can feel her shrugging her tiny shoulders. “Are we going to see Uncle Jin today? Will he come over?”

“I’m pretty sure Uncle Jin is busy today honey, it’s a Sunday,” I sigh, knowing damn well that Jin is most definitely recovering from the night before. Almost six years ago, around the time when I found out that Eunmi was on her way into my world, I have accepted that Jin and I have changed our roles completely.

I’m the younger brother – I should be the one partying and fucking random girls while Jin should be the one who’s spending his nights looking up Youtube tutorials on how to make different kinds of braids, because he was working like an idiot all day to be able to pay for pre-school.

“Uncle Jin is never busy enough for me,” Eunmi concludes and honestly, she isn’t wrong. At this point in Jin’s life, Eunmi might just be the only other female apart from our mom that Jin actually cares for. Much like every adult in her near vicinity, she has him wrapped around her tiny pinky.

“You’re really not gonna let me sleep, are you?” I ask, ruffling her hair a little bit.

“Nope,” she announces. “I love you.”

“I love you too honey,” I laugh, already accepting that I’m really going to have to get up at 6:30. “So what is it that you wanna eat? Bacon? And what else?”

“Just bacon is good.”

She resembles me too much.

With a grunt, I get up and let her drag me to the kitchen. It took her less time to eat the bacon than it took me to prepare it. I smile as I focus on the cup in my hands, watching her run over to the living room and plant herself in front of the TV.

Cartoons and coffee can save any dad’s life. I get to have my caffeine medicine while Eunmi’s eyes are glued to the screen, watching a cartoon she’s probably already seen 10 times before.

I remember I used to be like that too. It didn’t matter how many times I’ve watched it – I would always laugh at the same scenes, same jokes. I don’t think that’s a trait special to me and her – I’m pretty sure every other five year old acts the same. But I only have one attached by the hip, thank god.

Cartoon time also is a good time for parent conversations – the kid is too focused on an animated cat to listen to grown up stuff. Which is exactly why my phone rang at the perfect moment.

“Morning,” I answer the call, pausing to drink my coffee. “Everything okay?”

“Yep,” she answers, and I can her she’s running around, doing something around her house. “Did you pick Eunmi up from the birthday party?”

“No, I left her there,” I deadpan. “See, I knew I was missing something but like always, sleep was simply more important.”

“Not funny, jackass,” she still laughs. “Did Jinyoung’s mom bug you again?”

“Why did I even tell you about that?” I sigh, regretting it again, for the hundredth time. More often than not, I say things without thinking and again, more often than not, I end up regretting it greatly.

“Because you were too scared to pick Eunmi up from a play date and you asked me to do it,” she laughs at me. “But seriously, if that woman keeps bugging you, you need to do something about it.”

“I sent in Namjoon to pick her up along with Jiyoo while I waited outside,” I admit.

“How very grown up and mature of you Jungkook.”

“I’d like to see you if Jinyoung’s dad offered to-“

“Okay, okay, enough,” she laughs. “Did she have fun?”

“I spent 30 minutes trying to get the face paint off of her face, you tell me,” I sigh, remembering that I have to wash half of the bathroom today before it remains colored.

“Yep, I know enough. I was going to ask you something. Can you take care of her for the next for days straight? I’ll be in Taiwan until Wednesday, my boss called me last night, he needs a translator and the bastard is too cheap to pay for one, so he just assumes I’d volunteer to do it. If you can’t do it, I’ll drop her off at mom and dad’s.”

“No, it’s okay,” I tell her, mentally going over my plans for this week. “I don’t have anything other than work this week so it’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” she checks.

“Yuki, she’s my kid too,” I laugh. “Not a plant that’s a nuisance to water.”

“I know but we planned it differently and I don’t want to be unfair,” she sighs.

“Yuki, don’t worry about it, okay?” I interrupt her, not wanting her to feel bad about this. “We have joint custody for a reason. It’s not the first time we’ve changed plans. If I couldn’t do it, I’d tell you.”

“Thanks,” she sighs in relief. “It’s just so annoying. I’m still trying to find a better company.”

“I know you are,” I mumble. “But don’t worry about it. We could co-parent for five years without any major issues. So just relax, do your trip and you can pick her up when you come back.”

“Can I talk to her? What’s she’s doing?”

“Well, I’m not sure – Tom and Jerry might be more interesting than you are, but I’ll check,” I can hear her cursing me. “Eunmi, come on, Mom wants to talk to you.”

Of course, she runs and drops the cartoon instantly. I laugh at her as she starts talking about everything that she wants us to do while Mom is away on a business trip. It might be bitter-sweet for Yuki to listen to, since she’ll be stuck in business meetings for four whole days, but what can she do?

As long as Eunmi doesn’t suffer, I’m okay with everything. She wasn’t even a year old when Yuki and I called it quits, so she can’t remember – if she can’t remember, she can’t miss it. Despite that, both Yuki and I have been bending over backwards to try and compensate for the fact that she’s growing up with separated parents.

That’s what I admire about Yuki. Our love died a very long time ago, but not once did she let it stop her from being a good mom and just a decent human being. If I was the only one being like that, I don’t even want to imagine how that would feel like.

There are horrible parents left and right. Dads that don’t care about their kids, don’t pay alimony, don’t spend enough time with them. Moms that don’t let dads see their kids, moms more focused on themselves and not their kid. I’ve seen a lot of that from the nuts parents I sometimes have to socialize with – the only normal group are Namjoon and Yoongi hyung and their wives. And while Yuki and I are not exactly the ideal example, we’re doing a damn good job.

Both of us managed to graduate while having a baby and not being together. Both of us have decent jobs. Both of us can put differences aside and work together for our little girl.

Would it be easier if we were together? Surely. But love died. We weren’t for each other and we were absolutely not ready for being parents. But we managed. Somehow, we managed. Maybe our relationship was the price we paid for that but hell, I’d pay it again.

As long as Eunmi doesn’t suffer in any way, I’m good.

“And then we’re going to watch ‘Frozen’,” Eunmi rolls her eyes. “Yes, again. Okay. Okay. I love you too mom. Here’s dad,” she gives me the phone back, not pausing for a second before running off to the TV.

“All good?” I ask Yuki.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna miss her,” she sighs.

“It’s four days, not four years. You’ll live.”

“You cried the first time I took her with me after a weekend with you,” Yuki points out.

“We do not talk about that,” I remind her.

“You’re a pain in the ass but you’re one hell of a dad,” she chuckles. “Take care of her, call me if you need anything and don’t forget to give her vitamins. Two in-“

“In the morning,” I laugh. “Again, I’m her father, not her babysitter. Relax, deep breaths and have a safe trip. You can call whenever, facetime her.”

“Thanks Kook, I’ll call you guys tonight.”

“Talk to you then,” I end the call, finishing the rest of my coffee in one gulp. “Come on Eunmi, we need to get you dressed,” I announce.

“Where are we going?” her tiny little face lights up. No wonder, the kid is a firecracker. A type of kid that likes pirates more than princesses, but still asks to watch Frozen. A kid that will try to climb a tree but then run to me in tears if she scrapes her knee. She loves an adventure but often regrets it.

“We’re going to wake Uncle Jin up,” I laugh when I see how big her smile became. She loves Uncle Jin just as much as she loves me, if not more. “He might be hungover, but Uncle duties are calling him.”

“Okay,” she grabs my hand and I take her to her room, to find some clothes for today. “Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“What does hungover mean?”

Shit.

...

I check once again, leaning over to look at her sleepy face. Sure enough, her lips are parted as she snuggles into the pillow that’s almost as big as her.

Slowly, I close the door, careful not to rouse her awake – if she doesn’t get her afternoon nap, Eunmi gets cranky. Uber cranky. Super, mega, ultra uber cranky. She’s a true angel for 95% of the time but the 5%? Good lord have mercy on my soul.

So yeah, she needs to nap and we need to be quiet.

“She’s out,” I tell Seokjin in a low voice as I join him back in the living room, laughing when I see him looking as if he’s going to fall asleep at any given second. He is one step away from turning into that Tom&Jerry gif where the cat is putting toothpicks between his eyelids to keep his eyes open. “Your night was rougher than usual, I see?”

“Yes indeed,” he grunts as he sinks deeper down the couch. “I had to do my strut of shame halfway from across the town.”

“Why didn’t you just sleep over?” I ask as I make a place for myself on the armchair, also known as the most uncomfortable armchair in the history of mankind. Jin has a thing for fancy, modern furniture, which means that every surface in his apartment is sharp and black, including said armchair.

“Because I’ve found out a bit too late that she has a boyfriend.”

“Ouch.”

“Not really,” he shrugs. “She’s the one who cheated, not me. I didn’t know. I just didn’t want to stick around and get my ass kicked because she’s a cheater.”

“How long do you think you’ll be able to keep up with this, huh?” I ask, out of pure curiosity. I have no right to judge him but I have the right to try to understand. “You’re 28 and you can’t settle down.”

“Why should I?” he asks, and honestly, his question is as good as mine.

“I’m just wondering how you’re not tired of that?” I shrug. “I mean, your life is always the same. It’s been the same for years. Random girls every weekend. I get that it can be fun every now and then but all the time? Don’t you just get tired of it?”

“I do get tired. And when I get tired, I don’t go out,” he shrugs his shoulders, closing his eyes and sighing as he makes himself more comfortable on the couch. “Settling down isn’t always ideal. Look at you.”

“What’s wrong with me?” I ask and judging by the snort Jin lets out, a lot of things are wrong with me. “Say what you want to say about my life but Eunmi is the best possible thing that could have happened to me.”

“I never said anything about Eunmi,” Jin sits up suddenly, glaring at me. “That little girl is the best thing that happened to me and she’s only my niece. Plus she’s way cooler than you are.”

“She’s five,” I roll my eyes. “And if you didn’t refer to her, what did you refer to?”

“Settling down didn’t really work out for you, did it?” he lets a chuckle. “You have the sweetest kid on the entire planet and you’re a good dad – but what about you? You had Yuki and you wanted to settle down, now you’ve been single for 4 years. Your amazing dad skills have absolutely nothing to do with your inability to get your dick wet.”

“Okay, you’re exaggerating,” I deadpan. “I did go on a few dates and I did have sex with-“

“It was two years ago!” he yells at me and I shush him, not wanting him to wake Eunmi up. He rolls his eyes but when he continues talking, his voice is lowered. “It was two years ago Kookie. I get it, I really do. Eunmi has been your priority since day one, as she should be. But you’re 25 years old Jungkook. 25. You should have a life. I get that co-parenting with an ex isn’t easy and I know you have better things to do most of the time, but when will you ever think about yourself? What are you gonna do, be alone until Eunmi goes to college?”

“If that’s what happens, I’m okay with it,” I confirm it, causing Jin to shake his head in what appears to be disappointment. “It’s just not happening Jin. It’s not happening. I don’t have time to go and meet people. I work and I get home and I’m tired and I do have hobbies. And whenever I have a day off, I am with my daughter because no matter what happens, she comes first. There’s no time to go out and date and be a regular 25-year-old because regular 25-year-olds don’t have daycare to pay for and a college fund to save for and tea parties to have on weekends with stuffed and fuzzy rabbits!”

“It’s that way because you want it to be that way.”

“No, it’s that way because it happened that way,” I tell him. “None of this was planned. We never planned on having Eunmi but when we got her, god, I was the happiest man alive. I never planned of doing this whole co-parenting shit – but it happened. I didn’t think I’d ever break it off with Yuki, especially not after we had a kid but it happened. It’s the way it is and I’m fine with it because no matter what I do in life, Eunmi will always be the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I’m not saying that she isn’t,” Jin rolls his eyes. “I’m saying that every now and then, you need to remind yourself that you’re not just a dad, but also a guy. A regular guy.”

“I don’t have time to be a regular guy!”

“Then make it!” Jin all but yells at me again, earning another glare. “This Friday. Yuki will be back from the trip, she’ll want to be with Eunmi, you don’t work weekends. You have no excuse. This weekend, you and I are going out, you’re going to get laid and come Saturday morning, back to being a Dad you go.”

“Hyung-“

“Don’t hyung me,” Jin glares at me. “Or yes, hyung me. I’m you’re hyung and you will listen. You will go out and have fun and find a random girl and remember that you’re more than just a dad.”

I know that he has a point, I truly do. Just that when I say I don’t have time, I really don’t have time. Not the time, nor the energy and not even the opportunity to meet someone.

But he has me now. Eunmi will be with Yuki this weekend and I have no good excuse up my sleeve.

“Fine.”

…

“But dad!”

I laugh at her whining – she even went the extra length and stomped her little foot on the ground.

We’re having a cranky morning, that’s for sure – when I did her hair, I thought she might just bite my hand off. She was sulky during the drive and now she doesn’t want to go to go into the kindergarten.

“Don’t but me,” I warn her, feeling fatherly pride when she doesn’t react in any way – I have zero authority in me so it’s nice to see that at least my five year old is buying it. “You have to go to kindergarten, sweetie. And I have to go to work. You know I’d much rather spend time with you but kindergarten is non-negotiable.”

“What does non-negotble mean?”

I do my best to hide my smile at her mispronunciation, not wanting to hurt her feelings. “It means you do what I say.”

“But dad!”

“But Eunmi!” I whine, laughing when her frown turns into a scolding one. “We’ll do something super fun when we get home. I promise. Now run along.”

“You’re very mean today but I still love you,” she announces before turning around and running into the building.

“I love you too!” I yell after her. I’m mean. Wow. I suppose I’d better get used to it, I’m pretty sure she’s going to hate me when she gets to her teens. The joy of parenthood no one warns you about.

“She isn’t feeling you today, is she?” I turn around, startled for a second, only to realize it’s Hyejin, waving at her daughter as she follows Eunmi into the school.

“Nope, she isn’t,” I laugh. “I honestly don’t know how you and Namjoon plan to handle two,” I chuckle, remembering how both of them told me that they’re planning on at least two.

“Ah, step by step my sweet, summer child,” she laughs as she gets on her tiptoes to ruffle my hair. “Leave your Saturday free, you’re coming over to our place. We’re celebrating me getting older yet again.”

“I still have to see if Eunmi will be with Yuki all weekend or if-“

“Bring her too,” Hyejin laughs. “The kids can have a sleepover while the few of us drink, eat and complain about anything and everything.”

“You sure? I have a lot to complain about.”

“We all do, my sweet summer child,” she does it again, ruffles my hair as if I’m an actual kid. Well, compared to her I just might be. They’re only a few years older than I am but she and Namjoon have their life under complete control. Control that I can only hope to have one day.

“Fine,” I agree, knowing that this outing won’t be as wild as whatever Jin has planned. “What should I bring you? Any special birthday wishes?”

“Nothing, anything,” she shrugs and walks away, before stopping suddenly after just two steps. “Just don’t get me anything with my age written on it. We’re not talking about that.”

“Deal,” I laugh and wave at her as I get into my car.

I brace myself for the work day ahead. I brace myself for the afternoon of watching Frozen or something I have already seen 20 times before. I brace myself for Friday, despite knowing absolutely nothing can prepare me for Jin’s antics. And now I even have to brace myself for Saturday, when I’m expected to socialize with grown adults and act like I belong there.

I don’t. I might have a job, I might have a kid and yeah, my age is there but nope.

I just have no idea what I’m doing. I’m stuck in the permanent state of ‘winging it’.

What a life.

#bts scenarios #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #jungkook scenarios #jungkook series #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook smut #bts parent #single dad jungkook #bts #bts jungkook #bangtan #bangtan smut #bts jjk #jjk

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vverithinn · 3 years

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Updated Plot List

1.) Muse A is a fresh mechanic, and is taking an apprenticship underneath a well known mechanic in a small town. This place was usually a stopping point for people traveling. While it was a convenient stop for gas and snacks, the hotels here were nonexistant. Muse B has to stop here due to breaking down, but Muse A is able to get them up at running by at least tomorrow. In the midst of having to miss their flight and vacation, Muse A offers a place to spend the evening if Muse B chooses.

2.) Muse A is unhappy as they take their seat in the youth section. They find this life of listening to their father preach every Sunday morning and evening boring, but one thing about this place that was enertaining was Muse B. Muse B tended to act out, and Muse A digged it. It was obvious Muse B would rather be out partying and drinking with their friends other than here, but are forced to attend by their parents. One day, Muse B comes and says that their parents demand the be baptized, but doesn’t want to. Muse A offers their support, but ends up joining Muse B by ditching that day.

3.) Debate class is Muse A’s sore spot, though there is one reason they still take it. Muse B is Muse A’s crush, but they can’t seem to agree on any subject! This time the subject is (insert subject), and Muse A finally decides to not let Muse B bother them, and this time it’ll be the other way around.

4.) Muse A is your corny and cleche high school bully. The school can’t seem to get a good grip on them, no matter what they punish them with. This always leaves them on a tear, and the weaker minded students are usually in fear of them. Today, Muse A decides to target Muse B, who is the school’s band’s drum major. When Muse A makes a nasty remark, Muse B is quick to make one equal to or worse back. This would start an unlikely friendship between the two.

5.) Muse A doesn’t go to college during the summer out of personal choice. During this time, they work at the water park nearby. Muse A is a tad childish, and finds themselves hanging out more with the teenage volunteers rather than co-workers. To Muse A’s luck, one of the volunteers are related to Muse B. Muse B works there also, but she dresses as a mermaid and engages the kids. Muse A finds Muse B rather attractive.

6.) The library is a nice, quiet place Muse A goes after school. They can chill out, and not deal withh social pressures as being ‘the funny sidekick’ to one of the most popular guys at school. Today, Muse B is sitting in their spot. Muse B wouldn’t know anything of Muse A, is quiet, and seems very simple. This person is perfect for Muse A, and they will try anything to get in good graces with Muse B, albiet with challenge.

7.) Muse B is the highlight of Muse A’s trips here. Muse A models for (insert company), and and had to travel, but most of her business is here. Muse B sits at the front desk, and is much more regular than Muse A. When Muse A finds out for herself she has feelings for Muse B, and decides she’d ask them out on a date. How will Muse A react to first time rejection?

8.) Muse A is barely scraping by in college, and falls deeper into dispair. They have put their money into useless English degrees, and is now tapped out. Though. Muse A is a very skilled writer. Muse B one day approaches Muse A with an unusual task, to write a page that would make a young child laugh.

9.) Muse A is dead set on impressing Muse B. Muse A is naive and is a sucker for Muse B and their friends, and this usually backfires on A. This time. they are tasked unknown to Muse B to set fireworks off in the neighbour’s mailbox, resulting in a nasty burn. Muse B is found with no choice but to baby Muse A.

10.) It’s senior year of high school, and the path to valedictorian is easily in Muse A’s reach; at least that’s how it was supposed to be. Muse B switches to Muse A’s school this year as well, shaking Muse A off their totem pole. How will they get along?

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mummabearsmusings · 4 years

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ALL MY OTHER POSTS AND A BIG UPDATE.

My ex got residency three years ago and I got contact supervised by my family, or a few named agreed friends.

This was due to ongoing concerns from.my ex and members of his family, concerns they echoed for months, but never shared them with me, or my doctor, just with the nursery my cub was at.

These allegations, I still don't know what they were, but they were serious enough for social services to visit, once and decided that I had made mistakes because I was unwell, and that whatever those were they were completely unintentional (absent minded human errors, nothing serious, but got reported as safeguarding concerns)

Supervision lasted for 18 months, because it was up to him to decide when my time increased and my supervision decreased. That meant my mum had to sleep on my sofa almost every weekend for a year, my mum who has diabetes type 2, fibromyalgia and asthma which he knew about and when she didn’t my sister did. My sister who has two children of her own, both with additional needs, which he also knew about but we weren't allowed there..we weren't allowed to stay out anywhere besides my dads unless he gave permission, said so on the order. Wasn't allowed to take him on a playdate without it either, because there was four people named additionally on our order that were allowed to "supervise" me. It wasn't fun but I didn’t have a choice because his barrister had worded the court order so beautifully for the resident parent. I reapplied to court after 13 months of that order being in place, requesting supervision is gone and we have shared care and that the judge will give me permission to take him abroad and give me access to his passport that I applied and paid for..but they could only send to resident parent unless they had something from them in writing it could he sent to another address. He initially said he was too young, he may panic, he may get lost, someone may knock me over/out and snatch him, he may get sick, it might hurt his ears. He remembered and put in his statements that on our last holiday abroad that my nieces and little cousins got up to dance and no adult followed.I was 30 weeks pregnant.. so our child wasn't even born yet. I offered once he confirmed i could be unsupervised and finally have him over midweek sometimes meaning I could finally take him to school on my own that I would be happy to have him all three late shifts he worked each week but he had it covered almost always because of the fact he moved back to the family home and his mums a childminder so he had childcare sorted when he was working and it wasn’t my time. I originally got him one afternoon a week until 6, three weekends out of four Friday from 3 til sunday at 6 and half of all hols. That one afternoon was up to him because I wasn't working and he worked shifts on a rota so flexibility was key. But meant it wasn’t often the same afternoon each week to begin with..then it mostly became thursdays which meant football training 6 til 7, so again I offered and asked if he could just stay here after and instead I was to drop him off after training (usually about half 7) After he confirmed I could be unsupervised and have alternate contact on his weekends he also allowed 6 to be extended to 7. Before he confirmed I could have him alternate time, every month for over a year it meant I had no contact with him for up to 9 days at a time Last year due to the way his annual leave went I didn't see him from last week of summer hols until his first morning back at school. That was 12 days of no contact. It took another 13 months to get a first hearing. In that time I chose to do three parenting courses, a first aid refresher, two Surrey adult learning courses and a second round of CBT. In that time I also volunteered as a parent helper at his school and joined the PTA and was heavily involved. I began training (studying/volunteering in another primary school as a teaching assistant) and I qualified last year. I am not back volunteering at either school because no non paid members of staff can be on the premises. I fought back.I will always fight back I will always fight for what I think is right..and fair..and i will fight to be that boys mum. My mh was no concern to any medical professionals. Never had been but never got to exhibit that to the judge the first time. This time I did,plus added all my course certificates etc. In March I was given 50/50 joint residency, so every week since (bar the last four weeks of summer) I have had him from thursday to sunday. Some weeks I will have him weds to saturday. It’s his dad’s weekend off, normally he is working because the weekend he books off is our sons birthday, for the first time since he moved out he has also had his own birthday off work Our son is now 8. Despite all our clashes etc we have spent every birthday with him, just us three, the previous two years we even managed to throw birthday parties together..and we have spent every Christmas morning together too, because it makes the kid happy and both of us don't want to miss out, so we choose to share..he then gets family time still..we're not a family anymore but we're his. He pointed that out to me when he was 5 and it's always stuck in my mind All I want is the kid to be happy so if spending time with my ex makes him happy then crack on. Our son hero worships him and he is a brilliant attentive loving dad. They adore each other. Just like our son loves me loads as well. He's such a great kid Smart. Kind. Funny. Sassy. Very loving. His happiness will always come first..when he's older no doubt his wishes and feelings will change..but for now if the kid wants us both birthday and Christmas morning he's got us both. Here. I have to just deal with the current situation by letting him "win" But the reason I am doing the Freedom Programme again is because I need to learn how to have boundaries, set them and stick to them. I am very much the fawn response. I need help with the boundary thing. As I mentioned above we have always shared our son’s birthday, plus christmas eve and morning, this time he didnt even ask if he could stay at mine He’s just invited himself round. It was the status quo before because the first year I still had to be supervised and that night it could only have been by him. I have 0 issue with him coming here first thing nor coming over christmas morning til half12 if that's what our son wants to keep happening. I would rather we share than either of us miss out but he didn’t even ask me if he was okay to stay, I'm more than happy for our son to see us both on his birthday and to have him here for a while but I don't want him staying here anymore. It sets my anxiety rocketing but I'm never going to let either of them know that or you know it's going to go against me My family don't think he should set foot in here at night time ever saying I can't trust him not to go through my stuff, to start taking pics, to take or hide other stuff, or to try and pull something else to mess with my head. I'm well aware he doesn't love me. I'm not in love with him any more. I'm not ready to meet anyone or hook up with anyone else yet it’s having a boundary knowing it can backfire I dont want to miss any of his birthday either. But if he had his own place I'd have happily gone over in the morning, hell I'd have even bought bloody bacon sandwiches over ykno I've done fp twice prior to the 50/50 I want it because I need to figure out how to set those boundaries. Grey rock isn’t an option for me. Because my respectful amicable texts are what the solicitor said are like my trump card when I applied to vary. Done three parenting courses. My problem is I will fake it for our son’s sake, there has been nothing I haven't agreed to if it makes him happy. I can have my own life and make my own choices when he is bigger but now that smile is worth all the discomfort and to be honest with you when its just the three of us it's so easy going and it feels real. I see a genuine smile when our son and I are playing.. or a genuine one from me when they are. Like true co-parenting. There isn't a former. I met him when he was 21. I am the only person he ever bought home. The first and only girlfriend. I just feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't but I will do anything for that boy regardless of other people's opinions, including my own So do I just need to suck it up? Am I wrong? People say to me you meet someone they won't tolerate you spending time with your ex..well I'm sorry but if our son wants to spend some time with his mum and dad then I will do it for him and if the person I meet doesn’t understand that then they don’t understand me, or how much I love my child. I feel awful sometimes for complaining because he has never raised his hand to me. I feel like I am not worthy. But I totally know emotional and psychological abuse is just as horrendous and that my experience is as valid as everyone else's if you get what I mean. I actually have a few good friends now and a few weekends ago my son was invited to a friends to play out, their mums were all having a laugh and including me and even shared some Prosecco with me. I still feel like I'm being spied on. And I actually don't think I am any more. I need to stop panicking and just enjoy being a mum without second guessing myself. I have voiced my concerns about the status quo remaining and as per all of my feelings are invalidated by him I am trying to put a boundary in and set it down but he is refusing to acknowledge my opinion. Same thing, different day. Will it ever end? I have fought to be the best mum I can be, the best role model to my cub. I have a more structured schedule to establish a real routine with him and it means I can now make plans, try and have a life. I spent all that time grieving a living loss, all my time and energy were on fighting this, now I have I want to grieve my relationship that ended almost four years ago, by granny. I want to move on with my life, I want to like myself and eventually love myself again, I want to establish an identity again as opposed to a label. I want to move on, to try and be happy in myself, in my life. I want to be me again. I want to heal, I want to stop feeling like a sufferer and realise I am a survivor. I want to be confident, I want to go out, trust people again, I want to stop feeling like I am under a microscope and I always will be. I have made some wonderful new friends, reconnected with old ones. I want to stop being controlled. I am not a remote. I am a person. I am a mother and a bloody brilliant one. I am a great auntie, friend, daughter, granddaughter and sister and I just want to be acknowledged as a good person. I don't want him in trouble I want to give a clean slate and draw a line in the sand. I don't want any of the bad anymore. I just want to focus purely on the good now. Why am I still not allowed to do that? Why is it not okay for me to just be me?

#MummaBearMusings

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loveforpreserumsteve · 4 years

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Those Who Fall: “APTF” Story (Modern Domestic Stucky AU)

Nineteen:

"You cannot tell me that Return to Halloweentown is better than Kalabar's Revenge!" Jonas's voice heatedly exclaimed from the back door.

Smiling, Steve stood from his seat on the couch. Wanda turned her head to look towards the kitchen just as Katie loudly confirmed, "I said what I said. Kalabar's Revenge has that weird ass filter and Halloweentown doesn't even look like Halloweentown! It looks like it could've been filmed in our driveway!"

"We're not talking about which one looks more like Halloweentown," Jonas argued, "We're talking about which movie is better acted and has a better story."

This wasn't exactly the impression Steve wanted Wanda to have of Jonas and Katie. Not that it wasn't how they normally were. Just… he hoped that they would've bonded more before the loud, opinionated movie discussions started.

Glancing over at Wanda, he found her staring into the kitchen with her mouth open and her brows arched high on her forehead. Sheepishly, Steve shrugged as he clarified, "Our family's really passionate about Halloween. Especially the movies."

"I can see that," Wanda weakly giggled.

Steve nodded and headed for the kitchen. At the table, Katie tightened the orangey-red messy bun on the top of her head, "I don't care. Sara Paxton is a goddess, my guy."

Jonas shook his head as he grabbed a cookie from the seasonal witch ceramic jar that Bucky made. It was lopsided and the cookies hardly stayed fresh for long, but Steve refused to put any other cookie jar out for Halloween. Steve had even joked that he'd want to use it as an urn when he went. Bucky never found that funny.

"Kimberly J. Brown gave us hit --" Jonas chopped the side of his hand into his palm to accentuate his point "-- after hit, and you're just going to disrespect her like that?!"

Stuffing an entire purple sugar cookie into his mouth, Jonas went to continue talking, but Steve immediately reprimanded him. "Jonas Howard, take smaller bites. You know better than that. You're going to choke."

"I don't know, pops," Katie deadpanned, "I heard he's into that sort of thing."

Coughing and hitting his chest, Jonas was very obviously choking on the cookie, which made Katie laugh. Steve grabbed the oldest teen a glass of water to help soothe his throat and tried not to think about his child's sex life because that was definitely too much for him, as their father, to know. Instead, he decided to change the subject. Setting his hands on his hips, he looked over his kids. Jonas standing beside him, next to the cookie jar and Katie sitting at the table on her phone.

Feigning offense, Steve accused, "So, you go away to school and suddenly you can't give me a hug?"

Katie rolled her eyes, but a smirk was fighting to tug her lips upward. She stood from her seat and walked around the kitchen table to Steve. Being taller than Steve, the 5'11" girl bent her knees to hug his 5'4" frame more comfortably. With his arms around her, Katie let out a breath of relief and her body started to ease. Knowing that she had been homesick and anxious being away at college for the first time, he rubbed her back and held her just a little longer.

"I missed you," Steve reminded her, just as he always did during the occasional phone calls and the group facetimes and, more often, text messages. Because he did. He missed her. He missed tripping over her shoes that she left abandoned in the foyer. He missed finding her awake at six in the morning on a Saturday with a half drunk mug of cookies and cream coffee and thick glasses on as she started a Lifetime movie marathon. Missed her baking with Bucky on a Sunday afternoon. Missed her and her friends being too loud on a Friday night and having to remind them that the little kids were sleeping.

Katie held Steve a little tighter, "I missed you, too."

"I missed you, most!" Jonas playfully stated, wrapping his wiry arms around them both.

"I don't think so, mister," Steve argued. Because even though this was Jonas's second year at the university, Steve still missed him. Missed him sitting on the couch on a Tuesday night, teaching Bucky a new crochet stitch. Missed him helping Luke with his homework after school. Missed him asking how he looked before going on a date. Missed the Sunday Sunrise yoga that the pair would do almost religiously because it helped alleviate Steve's arthritis pain while stretching his scoliosis riddled spine, and Jonas didn't like his pops being in pain. And Steve missed him. Just missed him. No matter how many years he had a chance to get used to it, he never truly would.

Steve was positive that he'd miss his kids no matter how many years passed. Or how often they talk on the phone. Or how many holidays they visit for. He'd still miss having them home all the time. It made his heart hurt to think about what'll be like once they move out officially and they stop coming home for summer vacation.

And Steve knew that although she hadn't been in their lives long, he'd miss Wanda once she left, too.

Speaking of Wanda, Steve whispered, "Wanda is in the living room. And I need you to be on your best behavior. Or at least not yell every five minutes."

"Sounds like you're askin' for a lot," Katie joked, not seeming convinced that she could remember her inside voice.

Smiling, Steve half-joked, "Please, don't scare her off."

"Are you kidding? She's going to love us," Jonas confidently assured.

Steve playfully rolled his eyes and accused, "You've been talking to Uncle Sammy too much."

Glancing over at the living room, Steve watched Wanda snap her attention back to the TV. Almost as though she didn't want them to know that she was eavesdropping. Not that any of them would've cared.

Giving them both a squeeze, he removed himself and started through the dining room. Reaching the living room, Steve grabbed some knick knacks from the tub. As he crossed over to the book shelves on either side of the fireplace, Katie took a seat on the opposite end of the gray sofa from Wanda and Jonas plopped down in the purple velvet armchair.

"Wanda," Steve started as he introduced the three, "This is Katie and Jonas."

"Hi," Wanda shyly greeted, still holding that metallic silver pillow to her torso. Almost as though she was trying to hide her abdomen. Which Steve found to be odd, but didn't vocally question. If Wanda didn't want to draw attention to it, then he wouldn't.

Bringing his leg up to rest his ankle on his knee, Jonas leaned against the black and white striped pillow and asked, "Got roped into helping decorating?"

"Volunteered," Wanda corrected, giving him a small smile.

"Would you like to help us bake cookies instead?" Katie offered, "Might be more fun than decorating, at least. Even if it is with this bum."

Theatrically, Jonas gasped and touched his chest like a damsel in an old Victorian novel, "The audacity."

"What kind of cookies are you making?" Wanda asked, subtly sniffling.

"The Pillsbury classics," Jonas answered while Katie clarified, "Ghosts and pumpkins."

With his back to the kids, Steve froze. Facing the bookshelf as he set up the more breakable items out of reach of the younger kids, Steve's eyes widened. He couldn't believe that he had forgotten about picking up breakaway Pillsbury sugar cookies. Of course, things had been hectic, so he didn't think the kids would be too upset at him, but he still worried about upsetting them.

"Pops?" Katie prompted.

Sheepishly, Steve turned and explained, "I forgot to pick up the cookies."

"Well," Jonas ran his hand through his two-strand twist locs. The vibrant midnight blue reminded Steve of an ocean at nighttime while also noticing how it complimented Jonas's dark olive-brown complexion. Standing, he pulled his keys from his pocket, "Who wants to go buy cookies?"

"Ooh!" Katie nodded, setting down the ghost plush and turning towards Wanda. She offered, "You wanna join?"

Sincerely shocked, Wanda asked, "Really?"

"Yeah," Katie confirmed as she stood up fixing her green sweatshirt with a picture of a beetle, a plus sign, and a picture of a glass of orange juice.

"If you want to," Jonas added.

Wanda looked up at Steve, almost as though she was asking for permission, Steve picked up a ceramic ghost and smiled, "I don't mind. I can finish up."

"You're sure?" Wanda placed the pillow beside her and pushed herself up from the sofa. The bump starting to throw of her balance, Katie subtly took a step forward, ready to catch her if she needed to.

"I'm positive," Steve waved them off, "Go, have fun!"

"Do we need anything else?" Jonas asked, twirling his keys around his index finger.

Biting his lip, Steve admitted, "Pizza crust."

"Pops," Katie dramatically groaned, as she threw her head back in her playful annoyance. Tightening her bun, she looked over at Steve and said, "We'll be back soon."

"I'll be here," Steve set the cheerful, cute ceramic figure on the shelf and called, "My wallet is next to the coffee maker!"

Discreetly, Steve watched as the trio headed for the door. Smiling when Katie complimented Wanda's velvet black sweater, and chuckling under his breath when Jonas wondered if he could borrow it sometimes. Not necessarily amused that he asked to borrow a maternity top, but that he had asked, so soon after meeting her, to borrow it.

Steve felt light though. Knowing that his children were accepting a new sibling so easily, warmed him to his very core. He only hoped that once Wanda turned eighteen, she'd stick around. If only because Steve didn't want her alone. He didn't want her to struggle, especially not with the baby. It probably should've surprised Steve how much he cared for the girl after such a short time, but after fostering many children over the years, it didn't anymore. He loved all the kids that lived with them. Whether it was permanent or temporary, Steve loved them all.

#a place to fall #jump then fall #those who fall #bonus #stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x bucky barnes #marvel #fanfic #wattpad #ao3 #modern au #domestic life #fluff #smut #otp

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make-them-laugh · 4 years

Text

Code Lyoko Secret Santa

@thedarkflygon @codesecretsanta

"Long time no see, Aelita," Yumi smirked as the pink haired girl entered the library.

"I know! It's been what, since breakfast?" Aelita giggled quietly as she started pulling books from the return bin. Yumi laughed too before she turned to help a patron find something. When she came back, Aelita was frowning at her phone.

"Let me guess. Jer's flaking on date night," Yumi sighed. "But it's important, isn't it?"

"His dad's company had a major data breach and they asked him to find the root of it," Aelita took a deep breath and smiled. "But he's going to take me to breakfast tomorrow and to feed the ducks before he has to go to class."

"Well, we'll have a girls night in after I get home. You want a scary movie or a funny one?" Yumi rubbed her back gently and smiled.

"Surprise me," Aelita grinned. "Oh! Did you find anything out about that cute guy in your martial arts club?"

"Never said he was cute," Yumi corrected. "Just weird that he comes to a club and doesn't talk to anyone. But no. I tried talking to him and I think he said a total of 5 words to me. He's kind of an ass, actually."

Aelita shrugged. "Could just be anxious. You said he just joined two weeks ago, right?"

"There you go, always believing in the best in people," Yumi rolled her eyes with a smile and sighed. "That's true. He does seem pretty tense when anyone approaches him."

"See? Just give him some time to acclimate and he'll probably be more comfortable talking to people," Aelita grinned. "And speaking of comfortable talking to people, I'm meeting my cousin at the Starbucks he works at and he's gonna get me a free drink. Want me to see if I can bring a plus one?”

"I would kill for a white chocolate peppermint mocha right now, so sure," Yumi laughed.

The head librarian came by at that point and gave them a fond look. "Oh, to be young and working with my girlfriends again. I'd scold you for chatting on the clock, but you always go above and beyond, especially when you work together. Keep up the good work!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Both women grinned and continued what they were doing.

☕☕☕☕☕

"Hey, good buddy, best friend, amigo, my greatest of compatriots-"

"What do you want, Odd?" Ulrich rolled his eyes.

"Aelita is coming to get my free drink, but she's bringing a friend and I've only got the one?" Odd pretended to pout and Ulrich sighed.

"Okay, you can use my free drink, but you owe me lunch on payday," Ulrich smirked.

Odd grinned and hugged Ulrich tight and Ulrich patted his back.

They finished their opening duties, and Odd was working drive-through while Ulrich took the counter. He smiled when he saw a shock of pink hair.

"Hey, Princess! The usual on Odd's tab?"

"Yep! And a white chocolate peppermint mocha, extra whip, crushed peppermint on the cream if you can," Aelita grinned as she held the door open. Ulrich froze as Yumi walked in and nodded at the order.

"Coming right up. Odd, I'm putting in your number for your cousin's drink!" Ulrich called to the back.

"Cool! I'll swing by and put yours in for her friend in a second!"

Yumi's eyes widened as she realized who was behind the counter. "So, you work with Aelita's cousin?"

"Yeah. We carpool from our apartment."

Realization dawned on Aelita's face and she grabbed Yumi's arm.

"I'll be back in a second, Ulrich. I need to ask Yumi something privately."

He nodded, confused, as he started on their drinks. Aelita dragged Yumi outside.

"Is that him? The guy from martial arts club?"

"Yes! How do you know him?" Yumi raised an eyebrow.

"He and Odd have been best friends since Middle School!" Aelita nodded. "Yeah, he's really anxious around new people and gets really stressed out in new places. I don't know the whole story, but once you get to know him, he's like the nicest guy ever. It takes him a while to warm up to people, but he is ride or die once he does."

"I'll… Give him another chance. Because you like him," Yumi sighed. Aelita grinned and hugged her tightly.

"All I ask."

Aelita led Yumi back inside and smiled as Ulrich was setting down their drinks. Odd looked around cautiously and Ulrich rolled his eyes.

"I'm manager on duty, Odd. Go hug your cousin."

Odd raced around the counter and grinned as he pulled Aelita in. Ulrich sighed and smiled. "I can see Nicholas just punched in so I have to go do stock now. Thanks for coming in, Aelita. I'll… See you at club tomorrow, Yumi?"

"Yeah. See you then. Thank you… Ulrich."

He nodded and practically ran to the back as Odd squeezed Aelita one last time.

"We still on for cousin lunch Sunday?"

"Always," Aelita nodded. "My treat this time since you covered last time."

"You're an angel," Odd grinned. "I gotta get back behind the counter but I'll see you later."

Aelita and Yumi waved as Odd went back behind the counter. After they were outside, Odd went to the back and grinned. "So. That was Yumi-from-martial-arts?"

Ulrich didn't glance up from his clipboard.

"I'm not talking to you about this."

"Too late, you already told me about her, so as your best friend, it's my business now," Odd smirked.

"Too bad," Ulrich counted boxes and still refused to look at Odd. "Go back to the drive-through, or I'm putting you on bar."

Odd groaned and rolled his eyes. "I'm not dropping this. I'll figure out everything eventually."

"That's what you think."

🎞️🎞️🎞️🎞️🎞️

Aelita and Yumi looked up when the door opened and Aelita jumped up off the couch. Jeremie shuffled in and she smiled as she kissed him softly.

"There’s a plate of pizza, a glass of water, and your meds on your nightstand. Eat, drink, get some rest. I'll wake you up for breakfast in the morning."

Jeremie smiled tiredly and kissed her cheek. "How did I get so lucky? Sorry I had to cancel tonight, but I couldn't pass up this job."

"I know. And Yumi kept me company," Aelita grinned. "Oh! I meant to tell you! Apparently martial arts guy is Odd's friend!"

"Oh, Ulrich! That makes sense!" Jeremie nodded. "I tutored him in a couple classes, he's a nice guy."

"So Aelita says," Yumi rolled her eyes. "I've yet to see it."

"You will, don't worry," Jeremie chuckled. "Uh, try talking to him about Aiya."

Yumi raised an eyebrow as the Afghan Hound in her lap perked at her name. "Dog lover, huh?"

"As long as it's not Kiwi," Aelita laughed. "But he has a soft spot for dogs, yes. He's actually got a dog too. A Shih Tzu named Mila. She's a spoiled pup, for sure. And doesn't take any nonsense from Kiwi."

"Okay. I'll give it a try. Hey, why did he call you Princess?” Yumi shifted to hold Aiya closer.

Aelita laughed. "Odd started it, but I knew Ulrich and I were really friends when he started calling me that. He doesn't do it all the time, but it's sweet."

"Okay. I'll try to talk about Aiya when I see him next. But for now…" Yumi stood and picked up a leash. "Wanna go for a walk?"

Aiya howled and stood, dancing back and forth on her feet as Yumi clipped the leash on her collar.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Ulrich coughed as he opened the window and glared at Odd. Smoke billowed out and he waved his hand in front of his face.

"Odd, how many times do I have to tell you to turn the vent fan on when you cook bacon?! You always burn it!"

"Apparently one more time," Odd grinned.

Ulrich sighed and grabbed a leash from his coat hook. "I'm taking Mila for a walk. Text me when the smoke is gone."

He put headphones over his ears and walked out.

🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

"You've got to be kidding me," Yumi muttered under her breath when she saw Ulrich turn onto the same path as her. She could tell the second he saw her, because he froze up. She paused, Aiya coming to her side as Ulrich walked up.

"Hi, Yumi," Ulrich looked down at his dog and cursed softly. "Sorry, one second. Mimi, you got twigs stuck in your fur. Let me get those."

Yumi watched as he pulled a tiny comb from his pocket and combed out the twigs and leaves from the ponytail over her eyes.

"So… Aelita told me your dog's name is Mila? This is Aiya."

"Yeah," Ulrich nodded as he stood and put the comb and his hands in his pockets. "My dad's ridiculously allergic to dogs, so I got one as soon as I moved out."

Yumi chuckled and nodded. "My dad hates pets, so I did the same thing. What commands does she know?"

"She knows up, down, spin, shake, bed, out, and basket," Ulrich stroked Mila's back and smiled as she turned to kiss his hand.

"Basket?"

"We have a basket for her at the edge of the kitchen so when she's underfoot while I'm cooking, I can send her there."

"Oh, okay. We have a crate for Aiya. We decked it out though so that it's more like a comfy cubby," Yumi smiled and stroked Aiya's fur.

Ulrich fell quiet and Yumi shuffled her feet.

"I'm sorry, Ulrich."

Ulrich looked up at her in confusion and she continued.

"I didn't really give you a chance because I thought you were just antisocial and rude. I know how hard it can be to join a new group, even if you love the core component, and I didn't really make a welcoming clubmate," Yumi sighed. "If you want, we could… Hang out? Sometime this week?”

Ulrich looked back down and shrugged. "Yeah. That sounds fun. What do you wanna do?"

"Lunch and arcade? I haven't done that in a while. Aelita and Jeremie got bored when they finished all the games and I hate going alone," Yumi put her hands in her pockets and shrugged.

"Sure," Ulrich nodded. "It'll be nice to play with someone who isn't Odd for once."

"Cool," Yumi smiled. "How about Saturday after Martial arts?"

"Can't, Saturday I volunteer coach a kids soccer league," Ulrich shook his head. "Monday?"

"Gymnastics club and work," Yumi pursed her lips. "Next Thursday?"

"Thursday is good," Ulrich smiled. "Meet here at about eleven?"

"Eleven on Thursday," Yumi grinned.

"See you then," Ulrich nodded. "I've gotta get back, early classes tomorrow. It was nice talking to you, Yumi. And for what it's worth, sorry I wasn't a little easier to approach earlier."

"Water under the bridge," Yumi stroked Aiya's fur. "See you Thursday."

Ulrich nodded and started walking with Mila. When he turned back to look at Yumi, she was turning back to look at him. He blushed and hurried home.

🕹️🕹️🕹️🕹️🕹️

Yumi looked around the arcade as they walked in. "Oh man, Dance Dance Revolution! Aelita and Jeremie never wanted to play! You… Probably wouldn't want to play that either, huh?"

"No no, let's do it, it's fine," Ulrich chuckled as he climbed onto one of the mats. "Odd always makes me play it when we come."

Yumi smiled as she got onto the other one. "Thanks. So you guys come here a lot?"

"Every two weeks on payday, we play a few games and get lunch," Ulrich scrolled through the songs. "Any of these looking good? I'm indifferent."

"That one looks good," Yumi smiled. "So, I guess if he makes you play that often, you must be pretty good."

"Decent. I don't have as good a sense of rhythm as Odd does, but he's a film major with a minor in musical scoring, so I would honestly hope that's the case," Ulrich shrugged.

"What are you going to school for anyway? I'm a women's studies major."

"Sports therapy and education," Ulrich smiled as he started the game. "My high school gym teacher was really cool and I looked up to him a lot."

The conversation fell quiet as they played and Yumi laughed when Ulrich won by a significant amount.

"For someone who says he's got no rhythm, you're pretty good!" Yumi smiled as she picked the next song. "Though, I suppose sports lends itself well to dance games."

"There you are, Yumi! Jeremie and I have been looking everywhere for you!" Aelita smiled as she came up behind Yumi and Ulrich. Jeremie followed behind her, their fingers laced. "Having fun, you two?"

"As much fun as I can for being a stick in the mud," Ulrich chuckled.

"I never called you that!" Yumi scowled.

"Oh no! That wasn't a dig at you, just everyone I went to high school with," Ulrich held his hands up in surrender.

Aelita sighed. "It's true. High school kids are jerks."

"Ah, yeah, I'm familiar with THAT phenomenon," Yumi sighed. "Anyway, Aelita, why were you looking for me?"

"Oh, I just forgot you were hanging out with Ulrich and thought the three of us could do something," Aelita shrugged.

Ulrich looked around and smiled. "Actually, there's a new game over there we can all play! It looks like there's five headsets, I can call Odd!"

"Hmm, Lyoko. An adventure in a virtual reality world," Jeremie read the description. "It sounds fun!"

Ulrich pulled out his phone as the girls put on their headsets. Soon Odd was there, and the five of them started a game together.

#code ss19

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rkkyungsoo · 5 years

Text

‹ ace of hearts. ›

MGA5EP07 Performance Solo: All Night (0:30 - 4:21) & LUV (0:00 - 3:58)

With: @rksuwoong, @rkheejin, @ericxrk & coaches @rkella, @rkcheri & @rkwon

Honorary mention: @hyojinrk

Finale.

This was the final stretch and they were crowned the victors of the semi-finals. Joy flooded his chest as he turned towards Suwoong first, his smile so bright that it almost looked out of place on his usually stoic features. He hugged Hyojin - it was a slightly awkward hug because Kyungsoo was still learning how to embrace properly. For one glorious moment, the entire Royal team was perfectly content, basking in their victory, nearly forgetting that they too, must lose someone even though they were the winners.

When Hyojin’s name was called, Kyungsoo’s face visibly fell. Their arms dropped from each other, slowly. Hyojin was trying to not let his disappointment show, but Kyungsoo knew how much it must have hurt. He wanted to say something, but in the end got tongue tied and instead, held silence. Some of the others swept Hyojin away to comfort him, leaving Kyungsoo alone to think about...everything.

They were so close, just one step away from that grand finish line. This was what everyone was chasing after since day one - the thing that they shed endless sweat and potentially tears over. So now that Kyungsoo was actually close, why did he suddenly feel...scared?

Hyojin’s phone number was saved as the seventh friendly contact in his cell as they waved each other goodbye. Kyungsoo had so much on his mind that he barely heard Suwoong’s enthusiastic chatter on their way home. They needed not one song but two for the next week. This also meant two sets of choreo and different ambience for each. They had to select the songs, learn how to sing them, how to dance to them, what they wanted for stage setting and decide the outfits they’ll wear. This task alone would be difficult to accomplish and the Royal team had an additional challenge - they had to defend their crown. Their performances this week would surely be compared to Shangri-La and their only choice was to raise the bars.

There was no way Kyungsoo would want people to accuse his team of resting on their laurels.

Friday came and the coaches greeted them with enthusiasm. Coach Cheri brought them a delicious looking ice cream to celebrate their win. Kyungsoo walked forward absently to claim his portion, his mind still full of song choices when Cheri seemingly stumbled and dropped the cake. He stared, arms still outstretched as if he wanted to help save the cake even though he knew it would not be possible. The other contestants reacted similarly and that made the coaches burst out laughing. They produced the real cake and this one the contestants happily devoured as they discussed song choices. Hyojin, of course, was facetimed and Kyungsoo shook his head at Suwoong as his cousin attempted to feed the cake to their lost teammate through the screen.

One thing was for sure, the coaches got them good with that prank and this meant war.

...But it was a war they’d have to fight later because there were more pressing matters at hand.

Realistically speaking, there was no way they could choose two songs with difficult choreo and expect to be able to learn them in a week. All Night was chosen for their Royal themed song and Luv by She’z was selected by their Sphere theme. It was a difficult decision for the Sphere song and initially they put forward Please Don’t be Sad and Humph since they were both charismatic and had lovely vocals. One of the coaches pitched the idea of doing a girl group song, which Heejin latched onto since she haven’t gotten a chance to truly show off her feminine charms.

Suwoong and Kyungsoo looked at each other, both being terrible with girl groups they were of little help for the song selection. Thankfully, Coach Cheri reminded them of the girl group She’z, which was under Sphere. After going through their songs, the group opted for the very adorable LUV. The song had a simple choreo but good singing parts and lots of opportunity to show off their charisma.

Yeah, it was not Kyungsoo’s song at all because he wasn’t cute. Other people kept on telling him otherwise but Kyungsoo knew himself best, okay?

Anyway, he didn’t have a lot of time to have an internal debate about whether or not he had any aegyo to give because it was time to start working on their first song. Coach Ella, after watching the All Night dance, told them it was a song that required core muscles for getting off the floor without using hands and strong glutes for doing that open legged squat. As the result, working out became part of their routine. To make sure they were able to do the sexy squat during the chorus, the four Royal team contestants lined up against the wall and squatted. At some point, Coach Cheri even suggested they should practice harmonization while doing the squats. It must be a funny sight, Kyungsoo thought, to see four people exercising and sweating like pigs while singing so prettily.

The squats pretty much became part of their life that week and they found themselves squatting while eating, talking and even arguing. He didn’t have much conflict with Suwoong this week - it was as if they got it all out of their system already. Since it was the same people in the room, Kyungsoo was visibly chattier and more friendly this week compared to the last.

On Saturday, Kyungsoo presented the Royal team with handmade knee pads, courtesy of Mama Do. They had a dance move in All Night where they have to spin around on their knees, that part, while beautiful, can be pretty hard on their joints. After just trying the move out on Friday, Kyungsoo already knew they had to find some sort of protective measure or risk having bruises all over. If they wanted to stay on this career path, they’ll need their legs after Saturday. So, Mama Do decided to step in and help. The pads, lightweight and soft, were perfect to cushion their knees without hindering their movement. Everyone seemed appreciative and Kyungsoo texted his mom to let her know, she was overjoyed of course. Later, Suwoong the extra king sent her a whole video about how much he loved her and how she was the best person in the world. Mama Do nearly cried and Kyungsoo gave Suwoong the side eye the entire time.

On that same Saturday morning, the Royal contestants initiated their first prank retaliation against their coaches. Kyungsoo and Suwoong, since they were the first to arrive, conspired to jump scare the coaches. Kyungsoo was not in agreement at first because...this was so frigging childish. Still, when they heard footsteps coming and Suwoong stage whispered too loudly for him to hide, he did as requested. It was only Heejin, however, and the girl clearly heard Suwoong’s voice because she was well prepared for a scare. Tugging her behind the door with the two of them, they waited for their next victim, who turned out to be poor Eric. With Eric joining the line up (after a loud shriek), finally, they were able to give the Luxe girls the scare of the century when they arrived.

Kyungsoo was amused, until he realized that they actually scared the idols with Cheri actually shouting out GET AWAY, DEMON and Ella looking like she was ready to pass out. Feeling slightly guilty for having accepted this ridiculous prank idea, Kyungsoo walked over to Ella’s side and rubbed her back soothingly, only to get lightly punched on the arm by the woman. He gave her a sheepish look of apology, which turned into a soft smile when he realized he was forgiven.

They spent the rest of the day practising All Night choreo and went through LUV a few times too just to see where they can spice things up. By the time Sunday arrived, all of the contestants were able to gracefully rise from the ground handsfree. Their squat was looking fine, but Kyungsoo had a feeling they might need to start resting those muscles in between too - can’t walk up the stage sore, can they?

On Sunday, Kyungsoo sneaked out during lunch time for his own project. To make himself more comfortable with the crowd, he decided to do a quick street performance at a nearby park. Unfortunately, he did not notice little Eric was tailing him until it was too late. To make matters worse, Heejin and Suwoong who volunteered to go get the outfits this week, ended up catching the tail end of his performance too. Kyungsoo felt so flustered that he wanted to dig a hole and bury himself, but there was still much of the day left and his embarrassment streak had only begun.

“It’s a gift! You can’t refuse my gift!!” Suwoong waved the pastel yellow top in front of Kyungsoo’s face insistently. Since Sphere’s colour was yellow, they’d agreed to pick an outfit for LUV based on that. Kyungsoo knew he was going to be in something cutesy, but he didn’t expect Suwoong’s attempt in making him into a lemon icing cupcake.

“Uh-uh.” Kyungsoo shook his head as he took a step back from the top, as if somehow it was contaminated and even being in its proximity was dangerous. The top itself was yellow with long, white neck tie. Suwoong had purchased him a matching yellow hat (which reminded Kyungsoo unpleasantly of the hats Japanese elementary school kids wear) and sneakers too, for ‘added cuteness’.

“I am going to look like fucking pikachu,” he wanted to say, but managed to say the sentence without the swear word because he remembered the camera was watching. When Suwoong refused to back down and pressed the shirt closer to his body, Kyungsoo turned around and ran. That was a mistake because what did annoying older cousins do when they see the object of their endless desire to irritate run? They chase, that’s right. Suwoong ended up chasing Kyungsoo around the practice room before tackling him to the ground just outside of the practice room. Distant noises of protest can be heard and someone - probably Heejin - slowly shut the door behind the cousins for the sake of protecting the audience. Fifteen minutes later, Suwoong was the first to return to the studio. He was beaming and the reason was obvious as a very disgruntled Kyungsoo trailed in behind him, in that overly adorable outfit.

He wanted to die.

Monday started out early, much more so than the great su-ritto wanted. Since their argument last week, Kyungsoo had eased up in the mornings and started picking up Suwoong at 7 am instead of 5. Monday morning, however, he appeared at 5 again. While packing the blanket burrito into the back of his car, he explained to Suwoong that it was because he had to leave a bit earlier that night. He had dinner plans with Hyo and the two of them ate over at his place. Hyojin set up everything needed for a delicious bbq dinner and the two of them did a short vlog together singing JJ project. It was a spontaneous vlog that literally involved a laptop balanced precariously on a large salad bowl. Hyojin whipped out his guitar and Kyungsoo sang while carefully cooking the meat to perfection. The two of them took turns singing and eating. Kyungsoo made sure Hyo had lettuce wraps rolled to the shape for optimal human consumption every time he was ready to take a bite.

Their ex-teammate gave him a bag of snacks to bring in on Tuesday morning, including little sticky notes of encouragement for all of them. Kyungsoo laid the snacks out to the side of the practice room, so they could help themselves when they needed an energy boost. This week was less stressful mentally but physically, Kyungsoo was really feeling it. His abs (hidden under a thin (?) layer of fat) hurt and his ass was sore from all the squats. Almost every night, he passed out without listening to an audio book as he had to in the past. There were no dreams, only blissful oblivion.

On Wednesday, a second prank idea was proposed, this one intending not to scare the coaches but to lighten up the mood after these long days of practice. Eric initially protested when he heard there was a second prank coming but after hearing the idea, the other agreed. So, when the coaches showed up for Wednesday, they were greeted by the announcement of a song change idea. Kyungsoo and Heejin stood in the centre of the room and sang, with very serious expression, the soulful melody of the infamous PPAP. Then, Eric and Suwoong joined them and started dancing enthusiastically. Half way through they all started laughing because it was difficult to keep a straight face. The coaches smiled too, Kyungsoo saw them, just before Coach Ella (who was still pretending to be unamused) demanded for them to get back to practice.

On Thursday they were pulled in for a surprise interview and on Friday, the fun atmosphere they worked carefully to build over the week was all but vanished. Everyone seemed quieter, more thoughtful because they knew the performance day was tomorrow. This was going to change their lives, one way or another. Last minute tips were shared, such as how to find the recording cameras and look at them properly. Coach Won had a lot of thoughts on that, having been taught by someone himself and was excited to share. Eric insisted on a group hug after the final practice before bursting into tears because he never expected to make it this far and was so happy to have been chosen to represent Royal. Kyungsoo petted the teenager’s head soothingly, the same way he did to his cat when it was in a fussy mood. “Don’t cry ah,” he chided quietly, cutting in with his cool voice before other people could join in on the waterworks. It was a thing, you see, to start crying once you see someone else doing it.

“Seriously, we are going to perform in front of 3000 people tomorrow, not getting beheaded in front of them. I never understood the tears of joy thing so come on, give me a smile.” He grabbed hold of Eric’s face and squished their youngest teammate’s cheeks until the other whined for him to stop.

And then it was Saturday. The stage was larger, prettier and had better lighting than ever. Kyungsoo sat between Suwoong and Eric, poker face neatly disguising the nervousness he felt with each passing performance. Everyone did quite well, he thought, and came such a long way. He clapped and cheered earnestly for each of them, though he did think some of them were a little too ambitious with their song selections. The Royal team only picked two songs and did not do any sort of mash up, but Kyungsoo still thought they had a decent chance at victory. Flashiness, you see, didn’t always mean better. Often times, it could mean messier.

“Hello everyone, we are Royal Flush!” They declared and introduced themselves according to their card. Kyungsoo was the ace of hearts, Suwoong was the king of hearts, Heejin was their queen of hearts and their baby Eric was the jack. Why hearts? The audience will have to wait and see because that was a hint to their second song.

The stage was beautifully decorated with potted plants sprinkled with iridescent powder. Fresh flower arrangements hung from the ceiling, accompanied by realistic looking tree vines and a sweet floral scent. The screens at the side of the stage were inky blue, some displaying trees and plants as well to complete the picture they were attempting to paint - that enchanting garden, made mysterious by the night and over seen only by the stars and the moon...until you found it.

Blue light gave the stage a calming vibe as music played. One by one, the contestants of Royal laid down, their features softened by the clever angle of the lighting and appearing absolutely angelic in their outfits of white. Suwoong rose as the others fell, his arm graceful as it moved through the air. The music gave them their cue and the light dip of Suwoong’s hand was part of the prompt. The contestants propped themselves into a sitting position with their backs towards the audience.

Kyungsoo was the first to show his face as he spun around onto his knees, opening the song soft and dreamy.

왜 또 쳐다봐 cellular phone 결코 신경 안 쓰는 척 이런 나 참 우스워 너의 전활 기다리는 밤

As he rose and walked towards the right side of the stage, the other contestants stood up one by one as if they’ve been awakened, using that hands free movement they worked their core muscles so hard to achieve. Suwoong took the centre of the stage after him, followed by Heejin. Kyungsoo had the last line before chorus, which he smoothly delivered, glad that they had decided to cut out the jump spin to make things easier for the vocalists.

I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait

Heejin opened the chorus and Suwoong followed behind. Kyungsoo wheeled himself into the centre and dropped on one knee, waiting for his part.

졸린 듯이 나른나른 나른하게 스며 살짝 야릇야릇 야릇하게

He was first centre to do the squat that they’ve been practising all week. It wasn’t the easiest movement in the world considering they had to drop it quite low and get right back up. The key was to look classy and smooth giving that move, even though they were spreading their legs and letting their hand sweep across their crotch region almost immediately after. It was all about the hint with these sort of performances, a vague promise that will keep the audience watching and wanting. Kyungsoo brushed his thumb across his lips before dropping back down to let Suwoong who was behind him sing the next set of lines.

Eric came in with the rap, making small gestures with his hands to show they were attentive to the details. The rap started out slow and built up to a faster rate before Heejin returned to take centre stage with her powerful voice. Suwoong followed her before it was Kyungsoo’s line again.

졸린 듯이 나른나른 나른하게 스며 살짝 야릇야릇 야릇하게 눈 감으면 그려지는 니 모습이 좋아 지금

Their next rap part was shorter, but very charming. The rest of them were on the ground, scooting back as Eric shuffled forward, their movements synchronized just as they had been in Shangri-La, moving as one.

Heejin stood, giving her beautiful high note before she is abruptly pulled into Suwoong’s arms, who, with a rather seductive look, whispered such a good night. Suwoong fangirls, how are we doing?

Kyungsoo’s part came immediately after. He dropped to his knees as he sang, smile unfaltering as he shrugged his jacket off of his left shoulder as if by accident. In the original choreography, the dancer pulled down the jacket with his hand, but Kyungsoo thought it would be more enticing if he made it look like an accident even though everyone should know it wasn’t. He asked Coach Ella to help him practice this move and trust me, even something as simple as shrugging off a jacket took a lot of effort. So Kyungsoo fans, you better be happy because oppa’s really trying here.

내 온 맘이 두근두근 두근 하게 해 놓고 넌 새근새근 새근 하게

Suwoong sang the next part with Heejin’s voice in the background.

Then, all four of them jumped as they sang one last time! White and iridescent confetti shot into the sky, fluttering over them like flower petals.

어서 내게 전화해

Kyungsoo swept his thumb across his lips again, letting confetti flakes fall and linger in between his dark strands of hair.

Let's call in, let's call in Let's call in, let's call in

Suwoong was singing call me all night in the background throughout Kyungsoo’s part and Heejin brought the song to a close. Kyungsoo laid down on the ground for their final pose, his elbow propped and his hand under his chin. Suwoong and Eric sat back-to-back against each other while Heejin was left standing. As the last of the confetti flakes fell to the ground, their first performance of the night ended. It was not yet time for a round of celebratory pats on the back, for they had another battle incoming.

After another round of performances, this time with their second concept, it was once again, team Royal’s turn. When they appeared once again on the stage, they were unrecognizable. Having traded in their princely (or in Heejin’s case, queenly) white attire for pastel cuteness, Kyungsoo thought he actually heard a few cheers of pleasant surprise in the audience. They chose yellow because Sphere’s company colour was that. According to their coaches, Sphere favoured either the energetic/peppy or the youthful/shy vibe and they ended up picking the latter.

“Hello, Royal Flush back again to bring you our second performance.” And then Suwoong did a mini speech on how the song was supposed to represent their love for the audience. The song, LUV, was also why they chose to introduce themselves as the Royal Flush of the suit Hearts earlier because...yeah, you get it. Love, hearts, they go hand-in-hand.

Realistically speaking, there was no way they could learn two challenging choreos in the span of a week. Just because they had to choose something easier dance wise, however, didn’t mean they couldn’t still make it good. This was a lighthearted song to end the night of performances, aimed to bring up the nostalgia factor and make everyone feel warm and fuzzy inside.

The stage dimmed and individual spotlights illuminated their forms as they posed along to the music. The stage brightened and yellow light paused according to the beat as they walked into the centre of the stage, positioning themselves for the beginning of their song.

The song was opened by Heejin, who looked really cute in her yellow skirt and white tennis shoes. Kyungsoo had the line after her:

이제는 가끔 생각나는 그때 L.O.V.E LUV 시간을 되돌릴 수는 없나요

At first he was worried about having to act over the top cute. A closer look at the original dance by She’z revealed, however, that none of them had those exaggerated fake expressions he was expecting. So for this performance, he just thought about things that made him happy. Remember the...you know, two and a half people that he ever loved and all that. If anything, he played into his awkward shy nature a little, trying to be the cute guy everyone kept on telling him he was.

The L.O.V.E part had a very easy but memorable hand movement part, which they fully intended to use later in the performance.

Eric got to sing for this song and the audience, used to Royal team’s little rapper, was in for a treat. Heejin supported Eric with her vocals in the background before handing the next set of lines to Suwoong.

너와 나 두렵지가 않던 그 시간 서로 손을 잡을 때면 Yeah

Ay, this song. Too damn cute. When was the last time Kyungsoo actually tried to hold someone’s hands? Probably never. If one of his exes asked him to recall the most wonderful moments during their relationship, he’d probably end up spewing some nsfw content that would not help the situation.

They were in the chorus again and the same iconic dance was repeated, Kyungsoo searched for the camera using tips coach Won provided before and put on his...erm, cutesy expression.

이제는 가끔 생각나는 그때 L.O.V.E LUV 시간을 되돌릴 수는 없나요

The last time they rolled into the chorus, they did something special. “Do it with us!” They shouted in unison as they danced. This part they actually had to practice because they wanted to sound uniform, not scattered.

이제는 가끔 생각나는 그때 L.O.V.E LUV 시간을 되돌릴 수는 없나요

By this point, even if the audience didn’t know the song from their past, they’ve hopefully been shown it enough times to copy the movement. Kyungsoo turned his eyes towards the ceos as if encouraging them to do it. Come on, his stare intensified on So Jiseob’s face. He knew the man was stoic and all but we are your team, give us some support. Next hopeful look went to Baek Jiyoung because this was a Sphere song so surely she knew it well. This would be a great opportunity to celebrate her senior artists but would she do it?

Whether or not the CEOs actually raised their arms in the end, Kyungsoo didn’t know because he was back to following the choreo and ending their song. All four of the contestants sang the last line together before striking their ending pose, which was forming a heart between the four of them. Suwoong and Kyungsoo were on the ground while Heejin and Eric remained standing because they were the shorter duo. They smiled, arms outstretched, giving the audience the big heart as a sign of their love, just as mentioned earlier.

Now it was truly over. Kyungsoo looked at the stage one last time as everyone was summoned back for the results. He wondered if he’ll ever get to perform like this again. The MGAs, while stressful at times, certainly gave him an experience that he would never forget.

#wc; 4280 #rkmga5 #rkmga5finale #last episode baby thanks for supporting ksoo's mga journey muah #click time for distribution

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jvc-yearofservice · 5 years

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9/30/19 - 10/7/19

Aaaaand I'm back, baby! (better late than never, I suppose) We started the week by celebrating Rosh Hashanah which was super fun. Our Jewish housemate spoke Hebrew as she blessed our meal, and we all dipped apples in honey in order to start out the new Jewish year on a sweet note. We ate brisket, mashed potatoes, matzo ball soup, noodle casserole, challah bread, pomegranates, and we toasted with apple cider and champagne. Traditionally, you can also dip your bread into water or run water over your hands in the sink to symbolize a cleansing of the person as the new year begins.

Someone in my house had a birthday on Friday, and since I was away for my cousin's wedding, I baked them a cake and painted a watercolor horse for her on Wednesday. I told her that I could bake her a cake from scratch since I am the descendent of German bakers, but she specifically insisted on having Confetti Cake Mix from a box. While I was getting the cake mix from a Rite Aid, someone stole my bike from the bike rack outside (even though it was locked), so I had to walk at least an hour on foot to get home which was a bummer. When I realized that it was stolen and had not just disappeared into thin air, I became upset and started asking people if they saw my bike. Some scary-ass looking bikers were really upset for me and offered to look for it, which I thought was sweet of them. I went back into the Rite Aid and asked if I could see their footage from the video camera outside, and they simply answered, "No. Sorry about your bike, though." I wasn't in trouble with anyone even though the bike belonged to the house/the Jesuits, but I'm just mad that someone got the jump on me, so I might still put up signs that say something like, "Hi, I know you stole my bike. This is not a warning to bring it back. No, I am telling you instead that I know who you are and will find you. I know where you went, and I am coming to get my bike back. When I find you, you will wish you had never even looked at my bike in the first place. Good luck." This doesn't really seem in the spirit of the JVC, though, so I might pass on that idea. If anyone is in the Sacramento area and sees a cute little teal-colored bike, it's mine!

Anyways, here are a couple of random things that need to be noted. Firstly, I have decided to return to St. Louis for Thanksgiving, and I will be there from November 27 until December 1st, so if you want to hang out, text me and we can make plans! Secondly, I keep calling the organization for whom I work by the wrong name which everyone thinks is hilarious. I keep saying "Fishes and Loaves" instead of "Loaves and Fishes". Thirdly, I am now able to make coffee in a pot all by myself (so watch out world).

Work has been too strange and funny to believe. On Monday, a woman waiting in line for the free lunch, at the organization Friendship Park, attempted to come into the playground area while the kids were at recess. She made eye-contact with a couple kids and tried to beckon them over to her and pointed to a bag, shaking it like she had something for them. While I was walking over to the fence to confront her, she snaked a hand around to the inside of the fence and started to try to unlock it from the outside. I grabbed the lock and held it closed and told her very icily, "We're not interested. No thank you," until she gave up. She tried arguing with me, saying she wanted to give the children treats and that we were mistreating them, but I just kept telling her we were not interested, so she left but not before calling me a "bitch". All I can say is that she is lucky that she was on the other side of the fence from me. I also led PE classes for the volunteer who went home over the weekend, which was exhausting because I had to do all my work responsibilities and hers too so I was running around all day without a break.

One of the girls who I drive to and from school is an absolute hoot. One morning, she told me in all seriousness that I need to brush my hair more. Another favorite thing of hers to do is to roll down the window of our car and try to talk to people in other cars. Today, she called out to some little boys at a red light, "Hello! Do you want to be my friend?" One day, she said, "I have a secret to tell you," and I replied, "Do you know what a secret means?" (a joke she didn't get/appreciate, haha) Unfortunately, despite her super sunny demeanor, her living situation is a tragedy. One morning, I went to pick her up, and I saw her and her mom sitting outside on the sidewalk with all their stuff around them. The mom said that she had just been kicked out from their friend's apartment and had nowhere to go. On the way to school, the little girl told me about how she was worried about where she would stay tonight. Also today, I found out that a family of seven kids was taken into CPS custody and nobody knows where they could be.

Last Friday, I was having my one-on-one with my supervisor, and a homeless man asked for some adult diapers because he had IBS and was wearing the same thing all week. We eventually walked with him to another building and got some, and he was very grateful. It felt good to be able to actually do something because sometimes I feel like I die a little bit any time I have to turn someone away or tell someone 'no' when people ask for money.

Thursday through Sunday, I was at my cousin Caitlin's wedding, which was amazing. I basically traveled all of Thursday and got in at night. On Friday, we rehearsed walking in and standing in line for the wedding. Afterwards, we went to lunch together outside, and I made the very unwise decision to wear a romper in Michigan in October. That night, we had the rehearsal dinner at a brewery. On Saturday, I met up with the rest of the bridal party in the hotel lobby at 9am and went to the salon to get our hair and makeup done. We drank mimosas and coffee as we got ready for the wedding. We all got dressed together in Caitlin's hotel room and ended up walking a couple blocks to the venue which was really fun because people kept cheering us on and commenting on Caitlin's wedding dress. The ceremony was so sweet, and I loved the part where Caitlin and Kyle washed each other's feet as an act of service to each other as a married couple. Afterwards, we took group pictures and went to the reception in a building nearby. I'm so happy for them, and I'm still so grateful for being included as a bridesmaid.

Sincerely,

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grootpoepjeplasjehoofd · 6 years

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Ford alleges that that time of the assault, Kavanaugh and Judge were “visibly drunk.” The other allegations against Kavanaugh, by Deborah Ramirez and Julie Swetnick, suggest that Kavanaugh participated in a rowdy drinking culture as a young man, and that the abuse occurred under the influence of alcohol. Swetnick says she “observed Brett Kavanaugh drink excessively at many of these parties and engage in abusive and physically aggressive behavior toward girls.” So drinking forms a major part of all the allegations, and facts about Kavanaugh’s history with alcohol bear on the plausibility of all three.

Kavanaugh has not only denied engaging in abuse, but has rejected the entire idea of him as having been an excessive and rowdy drinker. In his testimony and his interview with Fox News, Kavanaugh portrayed himself as having been a shy, studious, churchgoing virgin who worked a summer job and focused on community service and team sports. Here’s an abbreviated version of an exchange with Patrick Leahy:

LEAHY: Now, you’ve talked about your yearbook. In your yearbook, you talked about drinking and sexual exploits, did you not?

KAVANAUGH: Senator, let me — let me take a step back and explain high school. I was number one in the class… [crosstalk]

LEAHY: I thought we were in the Senate […]

GRASSLEY: Let him answer. […]

KAVANAUGH: I’m going to talk about my high school record, if you’re going to sit here and mock me. […] I busted my butt in academics. I always tried to do the best I could. As I recall, I finished one in the class… I played sports. I was captain of the varsity basketball team. I was wide receiver and defensive back on the football team. I ran track in the spring of ’82 to try to get faster. I did my service projects at the school, which involved going to the soup kitchen downtown — let me finish — and going to tutor intellectually disabled kids at the Rockville Library. With the church — and, yes, we got together with our friends.

Leahy asks a straightforward question. In your high school yearbook, did you mention drinking and sexual exploits? Kavanaugh does not reply “Of course! I was a sports jock!” Instead, he replies “Let me tell you about my grades, and the times I volunteered at the library, with intellectually disabled kids.” You’ll notice that this (1) does not answer the question and is (2) incredibly fishy. If you ask someone “Were you a drinker?” and they reply “I went to church and helped children,” you are not dealing with a forthright person.

Kavanaugh says that he was then, and is now, deeply pious. He says that church doesn’t appear on his extremely precise summer calendar because “going to church on Sundays was like brushing my teeth, automatic.” He only ever socialized with good Catholic girls from Catholic high schools. He tells the Senate that his daughters have prayed for Christine Blasey Ford. Which I am sure she appreciates.

His faith was so important to him that he remained celibate through the entirety of high school and college:

I never had sexual intercourse, or anything close to it, during high school, or for many years after that. In some crowds, I was probably a little outwardly shy about my inexperience; tried to hide that. At the same time, I was also inwardly proud of it. For me and the girls who I was friends with, that lack of major rampant sexual activity in high school was a matter of faith and respect and caution.

Here he is again, in his FOX News interview, talking about what a good, sweet young man he was:

I was focused on academics and athletics, going to church every Sunday at Little Flower, working on my service projects, and friendship, friendship with my fellow classmates and friendship with girls from the local all girls Catholic schools.

And again:

I was focused on trying to be number one in my class and being captain of the varsity basketball team and doing my service projects, going to church. The vast majority of the time I spent in high school was studying or focused on sports and being a good friend to the boys and the girls that I was friends with.

I’m giving you so much of this in order to illustrate how central Kavanaugh has made it. Kavanaugh tells us that we should doubt Ford’s allegation because it is inconsistent with who he was, that it is absurd to think of him as having been a boozing, aggressive teenager. If Kavanaugh is not telling the truth about this, then, it significantly damages his credibility vis-a-vis the accusation itself. As Kavanaugh broke down in tears before the senate, he portrayed himself as not just innocent but an innocent, a man for whom drunken lechery would have been utterly unthinkable and appalling.

Kavanaugh does say that he had some drinks in high school. But his confession is not really confession at all:

My friends and I sometimes got together and had parties on weekends. The drinking age was 18 in Maryland for most of my time in high school, and was 18 in D.C. for all of my time in high school. I drank beer with my friends. Almost everyone did. Sometimes I had too many beers. Sometimes others did. I liked beer. I still like beer. But I did not drink beer to the point of blacking out, and I never sexually assaulted anyone. There is a bright line between drinking beer, which I gladly do, and which I fully embrace, and sexually assaulting someone, which is a violent crime. If every American who drinks beer or every American who drank beer in high school is suddenly presumed guilty of sexual assault, will be an ugly, new place in this country. I never committed sexual assault.

I almost admire this. If being a beer-drinking American is a crime, then I say lock me up. Democrats are trying to punish Kavanaugh for the crime of having a few drinks in high school. They must be desperate. Kavanaugh says he freely admits to doing things that were “goofy or stupid,” but that he doubts he is alone in this. (If having flaws is a misdeed, who among us is innocent?) I was reminded here of what Jian Ghomeshi did in his infamous essay for the New York Review of Books. Accused by 20 women of harassment and violent abuse, he wrote: “What I do confess is that I was emotionally thoughtless in the way I treated those I dated and tried to date.” Since we’ve all been thoughtless, this is not actually an admission of anything, but it makes you seem contrite.

Kavanaugh is very careful to admit to only the most minor and excusable of mistakes in high school. So he won’t even acknowledge that he drank underage, saying the “drinking age was 18, and yes, the seniors were legal and had beer there.” Only the legal ones had beer. Now, Kavanaugh was simply wrong about the drinking age: it was raised to 21 in Maryland when he was 17. (Coincidentally, it was raised on July 1, 1982, the very day Kavanaugh was knocking back a few brewskis with P.J., Squi, and Judge.) And since Kavanaugh was 17 rather than 18, what he says doesn’t even matter, because either way he was drinking underage! Some people have called this a lie, but perhaps studious young Brett, who only ever took the smallest of sips, was simply unaware of the state’s laws. I’m more interested in the way Kavanaugh won’t admit to anything that could undermine his image as a straight-A choirboy type.

His decision to present himself as squeaky clean, rather than wayward but subsequently redeemed, brings us to some of the most absurd untruths of Kavanaugh’s whole testimony. The evidence that he was more than an ordinary social drinker is voluminous. His yearbook lists him as treasurer of the “Keg City Club,” and his entry says “100 Kegs or Bust,” apparently referring to a “campaign by his friends to empty 100 kegs of beer during their senior year.” It also says he was the “biggest contributor” to the Beach Week Ralph Club, which he admitted was a reference to vomiting. Here’s Liz Swisher, a Yale classmate of Kavanaugh’s who is now chief of the gynecologic oncology division at the University of Washington School of Medicine:

“Brett was a sloppy drunk, and I know because I drank with him. I watched him drink more than a lot of people. He’d end up slurring his words, stumbling… There’s no medical way I can say that he was blacked out. . . . But it’s not credible for him to say that he has had no memory lapses in the nights that he drank to excess.”

Here’s Daniel Livan, who lived in Kavanaugh’s dorm:

“I definitely saw him on multiple occasions stumbling drunk where he could not have rational control over his actions or clear recollection of them… His depiction of himself is inaccurate.”

James Roche, Kavanaugh’s freshman year roommate at Yale, says Kavanaugh was “frequently incoherently drunk,” and that “he became aggressive and belligerent” when he was drunk. Here’s Republican ex-pharmaceutical executive Lynn Brooks, another Yale classmate who roomed with Kavanaugh’s second accuser, Deborah Ramirez:

“He’s trying to paint himself as some kind of choir boy… You can’t lie your way onto the Supreme Court, and with [his self-description in the FOX interview], he’s gone too far. It’s about the integrity of that institution.”

Brooks remembered a particular incident when Kavanaugh participated in a drunken event with his fraternity, in which everyone was “ridiculously drunk” and had to do “ridiculous things.” Here’s the Washington Post account:

Brookes said she remembers seeing Kavanaugh outside the Sterling Memorial Library, wearing a superhero cape and an old leather football helmet and swaying, working to keep his balance. He was ordered to hop on one foot, grab his crotch and approach her with a rhyme, Brookes said. He couldn’t keep balanced, she said, but belted out the rhyme she’s remembered to this day: “I’m a geek, I’m a geek, I’m a power tool. When I sing this song, I look like a fool.” “It’s a funny, drunk college story that you remember — at least, I remember,” Brookes said. As she tracked his career over the years, and his rise in the federal court system, she said, “I thought it was so funny to think that’s the Brett who sang that song.”

In total, the New York Times cited “nearly a dozen people” who knew Kavanaugh and confirmed he was a “heavy drinker.” Kavanaugh’s close high school friend Mark Judge even wrote a memoir called Wasted: Tales of a Gen X Drunk, which featured a character called “Bart O’Kavanaugh” passing out from partying and puking in a car. (Interestingly, Wasted also provides a timeline of Judge’s job history consistent with Ford’s own memory of it.) When Senator Leahy asked whether “O’Kavanaugh” might have been inspired by a certain real-life individual, Kavanaugh replied that the book was an attempt to help Judge recover from an addiction, and:

KAVANAUGH: I think he picked out names of friends of ours to throw them in as kind of close to what — for characters in the book.

LEAHY: So you don’t know — you don’t know whether that’s you or not?

KAVANAUGH: …So, you know, we can sit here [and] make fun of some guy who has an addiction.

Leahy says Is this based on you? Kavanaugh replies How cruel you are to make fun of my friend’s addiction.

https://www.currentaffairs.org/2018/09/how-we-know-kavanaugh-is-lying

#Kavanaugh

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