#it really makes you realise like how little praise you get like i thought i'd start crying

[pia-nor481]

Hearing your voice

Lando Norris x reader smut

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: “Daddy”, “Good girl”, “Slut” Lando being dominant, the word “Cunt” I guess. Idk

Lando had been away for a few weeks now, and so she was getting lonely, desperate for attention. They had almost no time for calls or messages; this left them with nine minute voice notes left on delivered for hours. Lando was was either racing or training for racing, and so he was missing her too. Usually this would hinder a relationship, but not them. There was so much pure love that they could handle the wait. She would watch all of the races, eyes never leaving the orange car, often adored in Lando's clothes. The worst part was the inconvenience of time zones; he would be a few hours ahead so he would be asleep when she was free from work, or he would be a few hours behind, and so she would be asleep when he was free from racing or debriefs, and he wouldn't dare interrupt that. So much so, that when he was streaming he'd often pull his mic closer, and opt to speak at a lower level. 

Night quickly approached Monaco as she laid in Lando's bed, the smell of him was long gone. She stayed still for a while, unaware of what she was thinking about. She didn't feel the first call, thoughts occupied with him, then when the bed began to vibrate again, she scrambled to the phone. "Hey, Babe." She could hear the smile through the call, just the idea of speaking with him perked her up. "Can we facetime, I need to see your beautiful face." Her smile soon dropped after processing his words. "I'm sorry, my camera has been broken for a while, but I've not had the chance to get a new phone yet." This answered his unasked question of 'Why hasn't she sent any images through out the day?' Lando was just as disappointed as her, they couldn't touch and couldn't see, it was devastating. "That's okay, I know how much you love my voice." If you had asked her one month ago is she would have confessed to her boyfriend that his voice alone would get her wet, she would have called them delusional. But now, after Lando's infamous twitch streams, it was something he would tease her about at any chance he could get. "I know you're blushing." He laughed out, pressing his phone closer to his ear and turning the volume up, not wanting to miss a sound. "Don't start, it has been far to long of a day for that, as much as I'd usually love it."  She huffed out the last of the sentence, head falling atop the pillow, well, Lando's pillow. "Are you sure? I could go all night." She shook her head as he laughed a little too much. "Oh I know all about that." 

"So what are you supposed to be doing?" She asked, knowing it is likely he will be in trouble tomorrow. "I should be going over data, but my girlfriend is more important." He smiled, making sure his hotel door was closed. "So, what have you been up to today? You only left one message, no voice notes either." She almost groaned at the question, "Nothing really, work and cleaning, but I have been sat in bed for a while, again doing nothing." Lando was surprised at the statement, usually she would be so busy that there was no time to rest for hours. "Feeling needy?" He huffed out, feeling the exact same. "For you? Always." There's no other reason for her to be in bed at such an hour. 

"Are you feeling a little bit turned on baby? Yeah, Need help?" Her only response was a whine. "Well, I'm going to instruct you on what I want you to do, and you are not going to cum until I say, do you understand?" It took many people far too long to realise that Lando was in fact a dominant man, they only began to notice this after an interview where he explained that he loved being in control, what he left out, was his love for controlling her. "Say 'Yes Daddy'." She did as she was told, fearing that if she disobeyed that she would be punished. "Good girl... Good girl." They had been together for long enough that Lando knew that praise was very important for her pleasure. "So, there's going to be lots of teasing and touching...But you'll only cum when I tell you, and i promise you baby, I promise you, it will be so fucking worth it." She squirmed just at his voice, just at his explanation, just because of him. 

"But now, just start teasing your thighs for me, don't get anywhere near your cunt yet, Do you understand?" His laugh at the end of the sentence echoed through out the hotel room. "You are such a slut." A small frown appeared on her face upon hearing the new name. "Only for you." She was right, this gave Lando a sign to be careful with his words. She was tapping lightly at the top of her thighs before running them lower as he began to speak. "Just tease the inside of you thighs for me, stroke up and down, and creep towards your cunt, but don't touch, just tease yourself; Imagine it's my hand, drifting up those sexy thighs of yours, willing you legs to spread open for me, and I know you would spread so fucking quickly for me." She did as Lando told her, moaning into the speaker of the phone. "Yes Daddy." she was quick to exclaim, not wanting to disappoint, he chuckled at her obedience. "Good girl, just one slow caress over your thighs and you open up for me, so eager." 

"That's it, really rub, caress those thighs...keep teasing your thighs with one hand, take the other and start teasing your breasts for me, ugh those beautiful breasts. Just tease them, pinch your nipples, squeeze." He chuckled out the last word. She was quick to pay her phone on the pillow and put it on loud speaker. "I am going to get you so wet, before you even touch yourself properly... This is all just a warm up. Mhm lets get both hands on your nipples now, both hands; Just cupping, pinching, pulling.  That's it, you see if I was there right now, id be doing exactly what you're doing right now, with one hand, yeah that's right, but on the other nipple I use my mouth; id lick and suck, Mhm, that's right baby, and you'd fucking love it, you'd fucking love every second of attention that I give you. But just as you are really enjoying the suction, and the attention from my mouth, I would just switch to the other nipple, only occasionally stopping, just so I can appreciate your sweet reactions." He paused to take a deep steady breath, giving her a second to strip of all her remaining clothes. "Good girl, now i want you to keep teasing one breast, but your other hand must slowly, and I mean slowly, to drift down towards your stomach, and I want you to stop, stop, at that little area just above your cunt. Now don't you dare touch that clit. Not yet." He moaned at a low pitch, a noise of satisfaction. "There's just that little area above your cunt, and I want you to push down on it for me, just push down because, if my dick was inside you, that's exactly he area id push. And when I do, it really stimulates your g-spot." He laughed at the brash statement as soon as it left his lips. Lando never thought he would be good at dirty talk, yet now, it just felt so natural. 

"That's right, baby. And as you push down on that spot, just realise how empty your cu t is, So push down and clench for me; clench your cunt around nothing.. and feel the urge to have something inside of you grow. Fuck it's so much fun to tease you, so much fun."  She moaned rather loud, not just at his verbal teasing, but the physical. "Back to your thighs, or your breasts, i don't mind, maybe both, as long as you don't touch that cunt. You have no idea how much i would torture you, just to make you so desperate. How badly do you want to touch your cunt right now? Come on, tell me." She had to bring her focus back from touch before speaking, "So much." He chuckled at her simple response, knowing she couldn't think about too much at the moment. "Say 'Please', say 'Please Daddy'." She did so immediately, already struggling with the teasing. "Say 'Please can I touch my needy cunt.'" Lando was getting drunk on the feeling of being in control, he could make her do or say anything he pleased, and he enjoyed the feeling of power. "Say for me, 'I am a good slut, with a needy cunt.'" She couldn't resist the urge to please him as the words came quickly from her mouth, and he laughed teasingly as he heard it. "I think.... Just hearing yourself say that would drive you crazy. Am i right? of course i am." 

"Okay Baby... It's time for you to touch your clit. but i want you to slowly, slowly and gently graze your hand over your clit. As you feel the pleasure from that needy throbbing clit of yours i want you to say 'Thank you, Daddy.'" He paused, waiting for her to follow the instructions. She let out a sigh before speaking, "Thank you, Daddy." And a moan once finished. "Good girl, my good girl. You're welcome sweetheart, I do love teasing you, and you are doing such a good job for me." Lando quickly recognised that she needed a little more praise after calling her a slut twice. "So well behaved, so patient, so needed, so desperate, so cute, I fucking love playing with you." Lando moved his phone to the other ear before speaking again. "Keep rubbing your clit, but keep the pressure gentle, for now. That's it baby." She whined, she so desperately wanted t cum, but she had to wait, knowing the punishment would be harsh. "Now i think its time for you to have something inside your cunt. What do you think? Don't you think it would feel better if your cunt was filled... Okay baby, you can grab any toy you'd like, or you can just use your fingers... Actually no, you don't get the choice baby. Your fingers are nowhere near the size of mine, go grab a toy." She practically jumped up from the bed and reached for the bedside table, he didn't begin speaking until he knew she was settled on the bed again. "But don't put it inside yet... You are going to do exactly what i would do with my cock, which is just tease the entrance, up and down...feel your body begging, the desperation to be filled." He was taunting with a sweet laugh and it was torture. "Now I want you to slowly slid it in, just the tiniest bit, just the tip of the toy... and then back out again, then go back to teasing up and down."

"all the while pleasuring your clit, in fact, you can speed up a little now. Just a little faster for me. Now a little bit further into your cunt...Mhm... and back out." She could hear the stupid smirk on his face, the satisfaction he was feeling from being in complete control of her, so she whined. "You just want to be filled don't you, just a little bit further this time." She whined again, not out of annoyance, but out of pleasure. "Aw its okay baby, you can go all the way in, i want that toy all the way inside. Just clench, clench around it. Good girl, clench around it, just as you would if you were around my cock. That's right, as if you were trying to pleasure me, by squeezing and clenching; i want you to do that exact thing. Now with your other hand, i want you to try and push down on that spot, just above your cunt, see if you can really start to get that g-spot going." Lando was practically laughing down the phone at how needy she was, yet every now and then he was pushing down on or squeezing his cock tight, trying to relieve himself of the pressure building up. But he couldn't lose his composure. "More pressure on your clit now, faster, get into a good rhythm for me. You feel full? Yeah? Good girl." She let out a quiet sigh at the name. It was all starting to go to her head. "There seem to be so many different ways to pleasure a slut like you. But I know you love all of the. Don't you?" Lando paused to catch his breathe, "Fuck, I'm so hard for you, just thinking about you, thinking of how needed you are. More pressure on your clit for me, faster... then you can just keep squeezing that toy, or maybe you can fuck yourself instead." He stopped to think, making her wait for his decision, tripping on power slightly. "Actually yes, fuck yourself for me. Good girl, always a good girl for me. Go faster for me, faster on your clit, faster with that toy; both of them working together, to make you um, but don't cum yet, don't you dare cum yet. But i know that the combination will make you cum, you'll cum so hard, my perfect girl, following instructions so well. Fuck yourself, fuck yourself so hard for me. That's it, Good girl." Her hips began to lift off of the bed slightly, breath becoming more ragged with her chest rising and falling so quickly. 

"Just let it all girl, any noise you want to make, let it go, just feel good for me. Just get faster; get more needy for me. Until the orgasm feels inevitable, so much so that you cant stop it from happening." She gasped loudly, voice echoing off the walls, Getting the permission to do such a thing only heightened the pleasure more. "Are you ready? Are you ready to cum for me? say 'Please Daddy, please can i cum.'" Lando paused, keen for her response, which he got almost immediately. "Good girl, I'm gonna count you down from five, when i reach zero, only then you can cum. Do you understand me?" Initially she nodded, forgetting that Lando could not see her. She was so overwhelmed at the feeling, and thought of cumming that she couldn't think about anything else, being on edge for so long just made the pleasure all that more powerful. "Okay...Five." He had already paused, one number in, to call her  a good girl. "Four....so fucking sexy for me......three, so desperate, so needy, yet so obedient." Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, the words that left his mouth only make her want to cum more. "Two...So perfect at following instructions .So close the the edge, its gonna feel so fucking good." He waited even longer to say the last number. "One...Are you ready to cum for me? Yeah, you are aren't you. Zero, cum for me baby, that's it, good girl, cum for me, let it all go for me. Let that orgasm overwhelm you, baby. Good girl, that's it. You deserve all that pleasure. So good for me." Lando practically whispered out the last sentence know she would not be able to understand his words, the orgasm so powerful that she could hear, only seeing stars. "Fuck, I love playing with you. So perfect for me." 

"I love you, baby." Lando waited for her to come back down from the high before speaking, it was so important that she heard such things, especially as he couldn't hold her in his embrace. "I love you so much, Lando" He shot up straight upon hearing his name. "Hey now, after all that, only 'Lando' unbelievable." He feigned annoyance, and she only laughed out a response. "Thank you, Daddy."

Masterlist

#f1 x reader #f1 x reader smut #f1 smut #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris x fem!reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader smut #lando norris x oc #lando norris x y/n #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando norris #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #f1 fic #LN:4

[lady-october]

Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Future Chapters : On Archive of Our Own

Story Content : 18+, Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Dom/Sub, Sadism/Masochism, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Breath play, Dirty talk. Story Note: This chapter can be read as a one shot, but if you enjoy it check out the rest of the story either here on Tumblr or on my Ao3 account (link above). Enjoy!

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

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Chapter 1: Your eyes are swallowing me

Chapter title is lyrics from "Sleepwalking"

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I'd be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed him. 

So maybe I did take a little longer to get ready when I knew he'd be around. Maybe my skirt suddenly was pulled up just that little bit higher than usual, maybe I loosened a button or two. But it's not like I was delusional enough to believe I ever had a shot with the man.

I was just an assistant. I did the menial tasks that usually went unnoticed. But sometimes when I came back with food, he'd flash me the most wicked smile as he took it off me.

"Ta love", and a shiver would run through my body.

It was the night after a big set in London. An apartment style hotel room had been booked for the whole band with a shared common space. The place had clearly been picked as a bit of a party place to celebrate the tour. 

It was quite posh, lavish furniture, open planning, and a great view. All the things you'd expect of an expensive hotel. 

Everyone had got a bit too drunk that night and it was part of my job to make sure they got to bed to catch a flight tomorrow, so I was the only sober one there. It was also my job to make sure the alcohol kept flowing, the right guests were let in, and taxis were ordered. 

Despite how busy I got I kept catching myself staring at him. I couldn't help myself. He was always such a delightful mess after a concert. Dishevelled hair, smeared eyeliner, a bit sweaty, a wonderful mix of tired and happy. Essentially he always came off the stage looking like he'd just finished having some really good sex.

I shook my head, realising I'd just been staring again.

Hopefully he hadn’t noticed.

The night went by in a blur of busy tasks and suddenly it was four in the morning and I had just finished getting everyone to bed, and all the guests out of there. I sighed deeply at the state of the place and went to start cleaning up. 

That's when I saw him across the room.

The lights were dimmed low as I had strategically been turning off lights throughout the night in the hopes it would get people sleepy, so I could only make out his silhouette.

He was sitting on the sofa, legs spread, but I could tell it was Oli. His long fluffy hair is unmistakable.

"Oh fuck, Oli you scared the living shit out of me."

That was probably the longest sentence I'd ever dared say to him, as I'm usually too flustered to form proper sentences. But the sheer exhaustion from the night, and the adrenaline from surprise got the better of me.

I heard a laugh from the dark figure on the sofa, "Sorry love I didn't mean to scare ya. But I'm not ready to sleep just yet." You could hear the words had been spoken with a lazy smile.

Suddenly I was very aware of the fact that we were all alone, and he sounded... No, I didn’t even dare think it.

He's just tired and drunk, surely that's the only reason he sounds so...

"R-right. Just remember that we've got a flight tomorrow so don't stay up too long."

I could see his head tilt up and to the side like he was contemplating what I was saying, and decided he didn't give a fuck. His response came, completely ignoring my comment, "Get me another drink will ya?"

The room felt like it was shrinking and I became all too aware of my heart beating in my throat. I was nervous to say the least. I had never been alone with him before and for some reason it felt weirdly intimate despite him being across the room.

I didn't know how to respond beyond simply following his order. So I shakily turned around and walked over to the dining room table where all the drink bottles were lined up, while being entirely too aware of his gaze on me from behind. There was a rustle of fabric like he’d gotten off the sofa, followed by the sound of his footsteps behind me by the table. 

I didn't dare turn around, although I didn't get a chance to properly digest what was happening before his hands were firmly gripping my hips, making me gasp. The impact threatened to have me falling forward, instead I instinctively braced myself against the table, nearly knocking over the half empty liquor bottles.

I could feel his hard cock so clearly through the fabrics between us, pressing against my ass as I was pinned to the table. One of his hands quickly moved to my throat as he didn't seem to want me bent over just yet, instead he pulled my head close to his head and the world melted away.

I was surrounded by him.

His scent, his hair falling into my view, his lips against my ear, his breath against my cheek. The hand on my throat was possessive and firm. His lips parted gently against my ear, and spoke in a tone I can only describe as carnal, "I get lonely you see, and I've noticed you.. noticing me. You want me, yeah?”

I swallowed, hard.

“Will you nod for me love if you want me.."

My heartbeat promptly moved between my legs instead.

I do want him, oh god do I want him. My whole body feels like it's on fire.

But his request was so much more than a search for knowledge of whether I wanted him or not, it was an inquiry of approval, a probing of whether I’d allow this to happen, or if we part ways here before anything further happens.

I nod against his hand around my throat, both of us breathing quite heavily now.

I’m contorted, pinned painfully between the table and his warm body behind me as I'm being held up by his grip. I felt his lips spread into a smile against my ear in response to my nod.

"Let’s have some fun then."

I'm wearing a simple strappy mini dress so his hair falls onto my bare shoulders as he tilts his head to kiss my neck, his breath so warm against my skin. I feel like I can't control my body, my eyes shut and I start moving my hips against him, making his grip on me tighten.

"Ah you like that don't you?" I nod again, probably a bit too eagerly. He chuckles, which I felt as a puff of warm air against my skin more than heard.

His mouth returns to my ear, speaking lazily like a predator who's toying with its prey "You're so fucking desperate for me, aren't ya?" My eyes fly open.

I nod again, slower this time. I feel exposed. He had noticed after all. 

Did he know I'd been daydreaming about him? How I'd touch myself at night when I'm all alone, imagining all ways I want to be fucked by him. How I had used the naughty thoughts about him as a distraction from my life, from work.. From pain.

"I bet you're soaking, I bet you have been all night." His grip on my hip relaxes, turning into a caress moving towards the hem of my dress, lifting it slightly as his fingers move closer to my pussy. His voice darkens and intensifies, "I reckon you've ruined your knickers just being near me.." 

Then his hand reaches my pooling wetness and my body immediately goes electric. My knees buckle and my mouth falls open with a gasping, desperate moan as my hands mindlessly grab at his strong arm holding my neck to steady myself.

His hand that had just made my brain short circuit from a simple touch of my core, quickly retracts away to yank me back up from slumping over. 

He playfully whispers, "Sh, sh, sh, you're gonna have to be quiet or you're gonna wake the guys up. Can you do that for me?"

I just wanted him back between my legs, so I spoke, in such a desperate tone that I surprised myself, "I-I'm sorry, p-please.. Please don't stop."

His grip on me loosened and pulled the skirt of my dress up to my waist, and slid my knickers down. I felt them pop over my ass and then fall to my ankles on the floor, "We don't need these anymore.." he mumbled behind me as he returned to feel my wetness, this time without the soaking fabric stopping him. I felt his forehead on my shoulder as he moved along my folds with intent, his breath coming faster.

"To be honest with you love I'm pretty fucking desperate too." Then he pushed two fingers into me and I felt like I was fighting for dear life not to moan. I gripped the table again to stay upright, willing my body to behave. The last thing I wanted was for him to stop.

I felt his mouth replacing his forehead on my shoulder, kissing me with an open mouth, biting slightly. I could feel his cock against my ass again, now only his fabrics between us, moving his hips against me, matching the motion of the fingers. 

I was untethered, like I had been transported somewhere else, into some wild fantasy. This couldn't possibly be happening. 

I turned my head slightly, searching, wanting to kiss him. His mouth moved to my neck, then my ear, then my cheek, leaving breathy kisses and bites where he wanted to.

Right when I thought he was gonna turn me around to kiss him, he removed the fingers and placed the now soaking hand firmly on the back of my neck, pushing me forward. I gasped in surprise and disappointment at the hand once again disappearing from my pussy, but the grip was strong and I could only obey. I pushed the bottles in front of me forward as I was bent over so they wouldn't be knocked over. 

The shock of the sudden movements brought me back to reality for a moment and I started blushing. I was currently bent over a table, bare ass and pussy exposed to Oli Sykes, in the middle of a shared common room where any of the band mates could walk in at any point. This was insane..

But I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

"Fuck." he said under his breath behind me, "You're a vision.." Then I heard more fabric rustling, and suddenly something a lot warmer and bigger was at my entrance. 

How was I supposed to not moan? How was I supposed to not.. and then he started pushing into me. 

I bit down on my lip so hard it will probably bruise, clawing at the table. A very low moan came from behind me as he pushed deeper. He stopped there for a moment and leaned over me. I could feel his heat, his rising and falling chest with his laboured breathing, his soaking hand still possessively on the back of my neck. Then he spoke close to my ear, "You're doing great love, stay just like that, don't make a sound, yeah?"

And then he started pumping, and I once again was transported to some other reality. I couldn't help it, I was moving, I felt wild, I wanted to scream, and suddenly I had lost control again and another moan escaped my lips.

As soon as it did he stopped, his hand that had been pinning me to the table wrapped around my neck, leaving my whole neck wet with my own juices, and pulled me back up against him.

His lips were back against my ear, his hair back in my vision. “What a shame, you were doing so well for me..”

The grip on me loosened, and I felt him slip out. A pang of sadness rushes over me thinking it's over, but in the same motion he turns me around, grabs me by the hips to sit me on the table before him. He spread my legs to step between them, and that's when our eyes met and time stopped.

He is gorgeous. 

Dishevelled hair falling haphazardly around his face, lips slightly parted, the tattoos creeping up his neck, framing his face. His eyes were shining bright in the dim light, a bit glassy but still intense. There was so much hunger in them, yet so much sadness.

The words slipped out of me without any thought, barely a whisper “...Are you ok?”

His brows furrowed slightly as he searched my face, not quite knowing how to respond, like I'd thrown him off. You could tell he was a bit intoxicated, as I don't think he'd be this honest with me, essentially a stranger, in a sober state – nor this forward. He spoke softly “Tonight I wanted to throw everything away. Just say fuck it, does anything really matter? I'm supposed to have my fucking shit together, yet all I want to do is..” He looked away, shaking his head as he cut himself off. Silence filled the air around us for a long moment as he was lost in thought, then suddenly his eyes shot back to mine, he spoke slowly, “I've had my eye on you all night.. and you look just as wrapped up in temptation as I feel.. I just need an escape and I have a feeling you do too, don't you?”

His vagueness didn't matter, I knew what he was talking about. And I felt it too, the relentless pressure of life was crushing and there's a reason I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, why I wanted him so badly. Everyone can see there's something tortured about Oli, something passionate and wild that can barely be contained. And while I didn’t like to acknowledge it, I could relate. I also wanted to just let go, be free. Whatever that meant. 

I just wanted to go there with him.

I reached out to touch his face, he flinched at the intimate gesture but didn't resist.

My mouth opened to speak, but I couldn’t find the words so I nodded instead.

His expression softens, and he nods in return. A silent understanding that neither of us fully know why the other needs this, but it doesn’t matter. We don’t need to know the intimate details about each other's pain to know we’re both desperate for some relief.

His eyes fell to my lips, “I just want to lose myself in you for a little while..”

Lose myself. Yes that’s it, a nice little escape from it all. I could feel a sombre smile spread across my face.

With the caress on his cheek I tried to guide him into a kiss, but instead he moved to my neck, tasting my juices still lingering there. He made a low rumbling noise in his chest then moved back to my ear, “You taste so sweet love, now let's see if we can keep you quiet for this next bit.”

Pulling away he met my gaze again, this time with a faint devilish smile playing on his lips as he placed his hand over my mouth to encourage me to remain silent.

I don't resist, I want nothing more than to feel him inside me again, and it hits me that I am not sure exactly where my limits are, as long as he just continues using me in these delightful ways.

Using me. That’s what it was, that’s what I craved.

I just want him to use me.

While this was news to me, I didn't want to think about this revelation now. The last thing I wanted to do right now was psychoanalyse myself. Thankfully I didn’t have to try very hard to shake the thought off, because Oli pulled me right back to the moment as his less busy hand slipped between us, guiding his cock back to me.

“I'll take things a bit slower at first, yeah? And you will stay quiet this time..” 

He was nodding his head while holding my gaze steadily, clearly expecting me to nod back in return.

So I did, looking nervous as I didn’t fully trust myself.

“Fuck, don't make that face love, I just want to start pounding to watch you struggle.”

Despite his last words, he entered me slowly. His eyes darken as he pulled me closer to him. Then he was moving, that wicked smile tugging at the corners of his lips as his eyes roamed me. When his eyes came back to meet mine I could see something wild flicker behind them, like a promise of things to come.

Yes.. 

He was moving faster, testing me to see if I could keep quiet. My nails were digging into his shoulders to retain control, but I was doing it. Only the slightest of noises escaped me.

“That's it, good girl..”

He looked at the hand covering my mouth, the tip of his tongue playing against his teeth. The grip loosened and two fingers pushed playfully into my mouth, his breath catching slightly at the sight and he appeared positively feral. Then he thrusts into me, hard, his smile turning into a more serious expression, as if he was at some type of breaking point. 

As if he was really sick of containing himself.

“Fuck it..” He said in a deep tone before removing the fingers from playing with my tongue to replace them with his lips. His arms wrapped around me, kissing me deeply, moaning into my mouth as he was thrusting harder.

Our hands are everywhere, grabbing, clinging, pulling, pushing, clawing.

I felt fingers slip into my hair to yank my head back. Then he bit my neck and I couldn't help it, I whimpered.

But he didn't care, if anything it spurred him on.

After a moment he pulled away to push me down on the table again, this time facing him.

I looked up at him. He looked dangerous, unleashed. Almost animalistic. His hair was everywhere, his mouth was open, panting heavily, and I could barely see his eyes. The energy was infectious, I am smothered in it as I writhe on the table.

Yes.. this is it. This is what I need.

He pulls the top of my dress and bra down in one swift and painful motion, then his hand grips my throat, hard.

A rush of adrenaline washes over me, a confusing yet delightful mix of fear and arousal. He must have noticed as his grip on my neck loosened slightly, but still held me painfully.

He was still in there somewhere, despite appearing almost possessed. 

With that knowledge I let go. I clawed at him, wrapped my legs around him. He was so warm and solid, and I was drowning in it. Our movements became a blur of pain and pleasure. 

Somewhere in the distance I heard glass bottles clanging, then one after another fell to the floor. 

Again, he doesn't care. 

The world had fallen away and it was only us and our ecstasy there.

His head lowered as his movements came slower, but with more intent. In a deep, nearly unrecognisable voice he murmurs “I'm close..”

Another rush of emotions washed over me. 

A certainty, an almost primal need. I spoke my wishes through clenched teeth in a strangled and desperate tone. “Cum in me.”

His grip on me tightens further, this time constricting my breathing. He falls forward on top of me, burying his face in the crook of my neck next to the vice grip he held on my throat. My fingers dig into his hair, pulling him closer. His breath became ragged as I felt him filling me up with every thrust. 

After a moment I hear some of it drip onto the floor beneath us.

The grip on my neck loosened and I inhaled sharply.

We lay like this for a minute before coming back to reality, letting our heart rates slow down.

I was bewildered, yet amazed. What had just happened? I felt like I’d unlocked a whole new part of myself, a longing that I didn’t quite understand yet, something simmering under the surface for what felt like years. 

Something in me craved the danger, the fear, the pain.. to be used. Like there was some depraved form of freedom in giving my body and mind to someone and letting them have their way with me.. And not to mention; how can something make me feel this incredibly good, without having even reached orgasm from it?

In all the confusion, one thing felt completely unwavering;

I wanted more.

Thoughts were swimming around in my head when a gentle caress grazed my throat. It was a sweet gesture, the polar opposite of the aggression I’d just experienced during our shared bliss. My brows furrowed in confusion for a moment before he raised himself up, our faces only inches apart. I studied his expression, he appeared worried – questioning.

A soft, almost boyish voice spoke, “Are you alright?”

Such simple words, but the question wasn’t. I could tell he wanted to know if I felt unsafe, if I was in pain, and if what transpired between us had crossed a line. If he had crossed a line.

My face blooms into a smile, “Yes. I’m a bit confused, but I’m good.”

His expression softened some but not fully, and he started searching my neck and chest for any signs of injury, but I grabbed his hands to stop him. 

“Really, I’m okay. I didn’t know I could feel like this.. I-I don’t fully understand it.. “ I pause to try and find the words, “Tonight... you’ve done more for me than I could-” he cuts me off with a kiss, much more tender than our previous ones. After a moment he pulls away to speak, “Oh love, you have no idea.. I needed this.”

I continued smiling, I couldn’t stop, and his features mimicked mine. My words came sheepishly, “..Maybe we could do this again?” Right as I finished speaking another audible drop of cum was heard hitting the floor beneath us. We both exhale a small laugh, as an acknowledgement of how bizarre the situation was.

He brushes some hair away from my cheek, “How about if we have a little chat tomorrow, yeah? When we’re both a bit more clear headed.”

I couldn’t tell if he just wanted a way out, or if he wanted to make sure I was really okay with what had happened tonight. So I just nodded.

“Alright, let’s get you sorted then shall we?” He helped me into a sitting position and attempted to adjust my clothes a bit, as if I wasn’t the picture of freshly fucked. One of my dress straps had torn, my hair was completely messed up, with equally messy makeup, and of course – literally dripping cum. I had to stifle another laugh.

He pulled away, adjusting his own clothes, and shot me one last smile before slipping back to his room.

I sat there for some time, taking in the mess all around me. Almost all the bottles were on the floor, one of them had even shattered. 

How had I not noticed? 

There wasn’t a chance everyone in the band hadn’t heard us. 

This will be awkward tomorrow.

... Continue reading on Ao3

#oli sykes #olisykesfic #oli sykes fic #oli sykes fan fiction #smut #bring me the horizon #you got a taste now #oli sykes x reader

[v3nusxsky]

Can you do a reader and Larissa fic, where reader feels left out because Larissa is always on her phone or not paying attention to reader, so reader doesn't feel important or special. Like reader not eating as much and staying in their office all the time working to get the thought of being left out numbed by paperwork and crying while doing it. And Larissa realizes that she hasn't paid much attention to reader or devoted her time to reader. And Larissa takes the week off to make time for reader and devote her time to reader all week. Make up smut for the loss of attention that is soft? This is how I'm feeling rn. You don't have to do this request if it's too much. I love your content and your work. Keep it up I'm proud of you.

Time for us 18+

*Authors note~ some smut my requests are slowly becoming manageable again. *

Trigger warnings~dom l sub r soft smut sensual smut feeling abandoned and ignored praise body worshiping oral (r receiving)

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

You hated feeling this way, you knew she was busy, you knew you that it was really not her fault but it didn't take away the hurt. At first you were patient and tried to convince yourself that it was a overreaction and all down to your past. But after a few weeks of the same pattern it became harder to fight your own thoughts which is why you spent al your time in your office.

There was only so much paperwork you could drag out while you made sure it was packed full of as much detail possible. Often you found yourself battling the anxious thoughts while working not even realising you were crying. At least that's what Larissa saw one night. You'd been hiding away and she realised how neglected you must be feeling. That wasn't her intention but life and running Nevermore had prevented her from showering you in the love and care you deserve and need. On her way to inform you she is taking a much needed holiday to spend with you, she heard the sobs coming from your classroom. With a quickie peak around the door she saw just how upset you were feeling. Guild building in your stomach as she made a plan to shower you in all the love and attention you truly deserve,

Normally you slipped into bed after Larissa was asleep which is how tonight went but what was different was Larissa still being asleep besides you when you awoke. You were startled to see her there, the hurt still lingering but the panic of her possibly being unwell. You were just about to rest your hand to her forehead when her eyes fluttered open. She could immediately see the hurt you'd been feeling the past few weeks.

"Hi darling" she murmured sleepily. "Ris? Love you're late" you mumbled expecting the woman to hurry out of bed and rush to dress for work. But she didn't. She just pulled you closer to her body. "I took some time off darling, a week. I realise how absent I've been and how much that must have hurt you pretty girl, I don't want to hurt you ever. I love you so much baby, you're so special to me and I'd like to show you if you'll let me." She whispered before pressing a sweet kiss to your hair.

The tears began to fall as you nodded into her neck. "I missed you Ris" you murmured as she held you for a little while. Both of you just soaking in the embrace until you were calm. "You really took a week off ? For me?" You murmured confusion evident in your voice. "For you, I'd do anything darling."

The sweet kiss you shared soon became one of passion as Larissa shifted you on your back to kiss all over your face down your neck and all over your chest, "you're so beautiful darling, I love you so very much, please let me show you" she whispered into your breast. "Please Ris I need you. I missed you so much" you whined. Larissa continued her journey down your body, ensuring that every inch of skin was properly worshiped leaving you feeling special, important and oh so beautiful.

By the time you felt her mouth at your core you could've cried, overwhelmed by all the positive emotions you were experiencing now? But those feelings soon combined with her tongue lapping at your soaked folds, moaning at the taste of you. Larissa missed this and she made a silent promise to herself there and then that this would never happen again, she'd never make you feel bad ever again.

Larissa brought you to your peak and back down again before kissing her way up your body to come and hold you again. "I love you baby" she murmured to you as you snuggled into her body trying to catch your breath, "I love you too love, thank you for making me feel so loved and special." Larissa seemed to get overwhelmed with emotion as she tilted your head to hold your gaze, "I'll never make you feel like this ever again love, you are and always will be the most important thing in my life."

Word count~ 888

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #anon requested #larissa weems #larissa weems smut #principal larissa weems #larissa reis #larissa x you #larissa x reader #larissa weems x reader #larissa x y/n #principal larissa weems x reader #principal weems #weems #weems smut

[strwberri-milk]

Remember that tattoo artist Kaeya nsfw post you wrote a while back? Could I request a part 2 to that, where Kaeya finally gives reader their new tattoo, and they’re so pleased with it that they kiss him (read: make out with him)? Because as it turns out they’ve been crushing on Kaeya (and thirsting for him) as much as he has on them, only they’ve been really good at hiding it? Like a “it’s always the quiet ones” kind of way. Bonus points if there’s some nsfw included, though I’m not sure how you’d go about it, so feel free to go about it however you wish.

Extra bonus points: Rosaria’s just relieved that these two have stopped dancing around one another and she doesn’t have to deal with their thirsty asses pining after each other

Your tattoo ends up taking more a couple sessions than he initially thought. It's not entirely because of him getting distracted by you, more like the design he thought up was more intricate than he thought and since his little session with himself, he only found himself falling more and more in love with you.

You're finally at your last appointment with him, waiting patiently for him to do all of the little nitty gritty detail work and keeping quiet to stop distracting him. It didn't help, what with the camaraderie the two of you had begun developing over the time you were spending together.

You wanted to talk at him some more, tell him about your day, and ask him about his own but for now you'd be content with just feeling his fingers running over your skin even if through his gloves. You almost fell asleep with the persistent noise of the needle and his soft touch.

He lightly shakes you awake when he's finished, already having wiped off some of the excess ink and helping you out of the chair to show you the mirror. You knew he would do an amazing job but actually seeing it made you grin widely, turning to give him a hug and a kiss.

You immediately realise what you've done, staring at him as an apology starts to sit on your lips. You're not sure what to say to make this feel better, blinking at him and trying to back up when you suddenly feel yourself being pushed up against a counter.

You're breathless, hand winding into his hair as your hips lightly push against his. His eye meets yours, leaning in for yet another desperate kiss, his brain singing your praises for kissing him first. Whenever you draw back he follows after you, smiling as he presses yet another kiss to your lips.

"I've been wanting to do that since the day we met," he mutters against your lips, giving you another chaste kiss on your collar.

"Really?" you say shyly, knotting your free hand into his shirt as he nods.

"Of course. I've been wanting you for what feels like forever. I want to kiss you again."

Before you can tell him yes he's already back on you, lowly groaning your name into your mouth as his hands reach for your waist. He wants to fuck you right here, right now, but he knows he can't because he hasn't finished the aftercare for your tattoo yet.

Sadly, he tears himself away from you and seats you back in the chair, starting to finish up with your tattoo as though the front of his pants aren't insanely tight right now. You stay silent, not sure if you should try to broach the subject of what you're going to do now that you don't have an excuse to see each other regularly.

"When I'm done here you want to go for dinner? I can stop off at your place and you can wear something nice and we head over to this bar I like. How's that sound?"

Your look of shock makes him laugh, pressing a kiss to your hand.

"What? You think I'd just let you run off on me? Now come on, I'm all done here and with the money you just paid me for your tattoo I'm going to pay for our dinner."

You laugh at the statement, making Kaeya's heart flutter at the sound.

When the ding of the bell signifies the two of you leaving Rosaria finally breathes a sigh of relief. Now she doesn't have to listen to Keaya mope about your last appointment staring at him from his calendar. Hopefully, his joy about having a new partner will make him a little less insufferable.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader

[breakfastteatime]

hope you don't mind the rant but argh i finally realised why i feel so disconnected to survivor in comparison to how close jfo is to me

spoilers for those who haven't played survivor

but i really dislike major decisions made and i'm gonna babble on a little (i've had like eight panadol and two sleeping meds as of the last hour n a half so if this doesn't make sense that's why)

one that's been swirling around my head ever since i played us that it really felt like they brought cordova back JUST to kill him off. this also ties into my next point that i find bode's betrayal hard to believe as well. every role he had in the story could easily be replaced by someone such as cere, and i felt like the only reason he was there was to have someone for bode to kill to show how really evil he was but respawn didn't want to kill any of the main cast off. he's such a useless character in the plot that killing him off didnt effect anything LMAO

my next major dislike is, understandably, about bode :,) yes i know this can come off as making excuses for a character i was attached to since the trailers dropped but the more i think about it the more i really cannot understand both the timeline and the motive that was behind bode's betrayal. i kind of get the idea he was lax about betraying them UNTIL cal mentioned using tanalorr for the hidden path but according to the echoes you get after the game bodenis plotting and scheming the whole time... plus, you think that his whole motive relies on creating a safe place for kata on tanalorr where no one can find them but also like. you have two (technically three) jedi, a nightsister, and a whole clan of anchorites that kick the empire's ass every day. "will you be able to protect her when the empire comes?" fuckass have you SEEN cal use a lightsaber?? kata is safer with cal then she is bode

dagan was hella underwhelming too which disappointed me tbh i was excited for this high republic jedi to show us all this cool stuff only for him to die in like three seconds 😔

ANYWAY i hope this ain't too long but i'd love to hear your thoughts/criticisms on js bc i love the game and all the little bits are amazing but some of the decisions made have me a bit hrghh

Okay, friend, you asked for it ;)

The decision to bring back Cordova was an unexpected one, but the sight of him makes me cry happy tears every damn time, so it doesn't bother me at all. I take your point re: Cere being able to do everything he does, but part of Bode’s betrayal also hinges on him betraying Cere to Vader, who clearly wants vengeance after Nur (which is SO IN CHARACTER for Vader I can only lol. Petty bitch.), so Bode killing her wouldn't have had quite the same impact.

Because I was so convinced he was dead that him *actually* being dead didn’t strike me as ‘brought back only to die’. I would argue that killing him off did put them at risk of not being able to reach Tanalorr and defintely drove Cal to Nova Garon, but yes… Cordova's character probably lacks development and definitive purpose compared to the others… Although even as I say that, I find myself thinking of the logs he left behind in the various ruins on Jedha and the words of advice and I just can’t get mad. Plus there's that teeny hint that he's been unwell when Merrin asks how he's feeling. I see your points, yes, but I'm not too fussed by any of it.

Moving onto Bode...

So, here’s my interpretation of Bode, based on the post-game echoes and the little nuances that take on a totally new light on a replay. Bode is playing Cal from the very beginning. They are never friends from Bode’s perspective, and he is a master manipulator. He’s a textbook abuser – he lovebombs Cal with compliments and praise to cement their relationship, and does the same with everyone in his family. Plus, he used his knowledge of Cere’s location to further his cause with the Empire.

There’s also a power dynamic at play here because Bode was a Jedi Knight during the war while Cal was still a Padawan. Bode is older and more experienced with the world than Cal. He knows Cal longs for friendship, and he wields that against him more effectively than any weapon. Every action, every word, every choice Bode makes is solely to dig in deeper with Cal so he can and Kata can escape the Empire. Had Cal agreed that Tanalorr would just be for them, *maybe* Bode wouldn’t have betrayed him the way he did, but Bode is well on his way to the dark side because of his attachment to Kata. And Cal very nearly follows him because of his attachments to his family.

To me, this is what the Jedi Order meant by 'no attachments'. Jedi are allowed to love, but when that love becomes all consuming, when it becomes an obsession, that’s when the attachment becomes dangerous. Bode’s story is very similar to Anakin’s, he’s just not as powerful. Hasn’t got those Skywalker genes 😉  

Bode’s motive to me is clear – he *thinks* everything is about Kata, but actually it’s all about him. It’s about his grief and rage and fear because of his wife's death the terrible choices he made. Denvik promises that if Bode gives him what he wants (Cal and Cere), he will reveal which Inquistor murdered his wife. Bode is already in it for revenge, not his daughter's wellbeing. His choices are very pre-meditated. He is a parent, yes, and I can understand that overriding love of a child, but he is also a grieving husband who is so broken by his loss that his love for Kata has become too possessive. He is terrified of losing his daughter, and it eclipses his love for her. Kata is aware of this, and her love is also turning to fear. Bode is neglectful (he's always leaving Kata behind) and bordering on abusive at the end. He trusts no one but himself, and he even asks Cal at the very end if he can protect Kata. Cal says nothing because he knows he can’t – he’s tried protecting so many people, and he’s lost nearly all of them. He won’t make a promise he can’t keep, and that’s what completely breaks Bode. Bode doesn’t believe anyone *but him* can protect Kata because he has become completely consumed with fear and anger. Cal gave him a chance to make a better choice when he disarmed him. In fact, Bode had *so many chances* to make a better choice, and he didn’t. So, when Bode responded by choosing to try and kill Cal, Merrin *and* very nearly his own daughter, Cal had no choice but to put him down – hard. That second shot took my breath away both times I played the game because Cal knows he cannot save Bode and protect the people who matter, and by showing Bode mercy, more people will die. It's also about control - Bode tries to control everyone. Cal knows he can't, so he takes the only option left - killing Bode. Honestly, the more I think about that finale, the more intense it becomes. It's an astonishing moment.

I do wonder if the reason people struggle with Bode is because he is so nice, and he fits in so well, but it’s all fake and it’s all an act. Whether you saw it coming or not, that hurts. Cal – and the player – want so badly for Bode to be better than he is, and that’s the tragedy. Bode’s not capable of that. He has suffered losses just like Cal, but he couldn’t overcome them. It’s a lot to deal with emotionally!

And as for Dagan, I quite like him! Mostly because that final battle with him incorporates my favourite Star Wars thing – WEIRD FORCE SHIT. He’s also a mirror held up to Cal – this is what you could become if your obsession takes over you. I also think his relationship with Santari Khri is meant to show Cal the potential pitfalls of his relationship with Merrin if his attachment overcomes him… but we’ll have to see what happens next…

Gosh this got long. It's always fun to see other people's perspectives and share my own! Hope you've got some rest and feel better soon :)

#jedi survivor spoilers #star wars jedi: survivor #jedi survivor meta #answered asks #bode akuna #cal kestis #dagan gera #eno cordova #long post #breakfast tea has THOUGHTS and FEELINGS #times like this I wish i had a youtube channel el oh el

[your-divine-ribs]

Ice Cold Part 15

Words: 2.4k

Lyla finds out more about Van’s past 💙

Ice Cold Masterlist Main Masterlist

"I owe you my life Lyla."

Raj's voice was filled with an appreciative kind of awe that made me squirm in my seat. I was uncomfortable enough visiting him as it was, I hated hospitals, but the praise he kept heaping on me just made things worse.

"You'd have done the same for me, any of us would have," I replied. "I just wish I'd not been distracted. As soon as I saw those fake waiters I knew something was wrong. I shouldn't have hesitated."

My mind drifted back to that fateful night in Paris and the note from Van urging me to 'GET OUT NOW'. I was sure if I'd followed that instruction I would have been at Raj's graveside now rather than his hospital bed, but still it didn't seem good enough.

Raj shifted where he lay, groaning and screwing up his face, clutching his bandaged abdomen. "Shit... I think it's time for my pain meds again."

"I'll get a nurse," I offered, rising to my feet. "I should be getting back to the office anyway."

"No!" He said hurriedly. "Don't go yet!"

I hesitated, turned to him, watched an awkward little smile emerge on his lips as he struggled to hide his discomfort. "I was thinking... erm... maybe when I get out of this place... maybe we could... errr... go and grab a drink or something?"

My heart sank as I took in his hopeful expression and I just hoped the small smile that I painted on looked genuine. "Errr... yeah sure... that'd be nice... look I really do need to get back. I'll come and visit again soon."

"I'd like that," I heard him say as I hurriedly turned and made for the exit.

Of course I had no intention on taking Raj up on his offer. He was nice enough, a real gentleman, good-looking and sweet. Someone I was that sure Jen would call 'a real catch', but those qualities didn't interest me. They didn't make my heart race and my mind spin. They didn't make me feel the same way that Van did.

In truth, my visit to Raj wasn't just as a well-meaning friend or colleague, I'd also had an ulterior motive. I wanted to find out who'd he'd been working with on the psychological profiling team. I tried to tell myself that I wanted to delve into Van's past to assist me with bringing him down, but I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I was in so deep now all I could do was tread water and try and keep my head above the surface, the dangerous current threatening to completely sweep me away.

Andrea was a small bird-like woman with sharp features and a serious demeanour, and she looked at me with something between wonder and admiration as I asked her to walk me through Van's psychological profile report.

"We've all been talking about you in this office Lyla," she said, eyes bright. "No one else has spent so much time with Van before and got away with their life. What was he like?"

Exciting... Dangerous... Intoxicating...

I batted the words out of my mind and settled on a very different adjective.

"Terrifying."

I saw Andrea visibly shudder as she pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, picking up a thick file and starting to leaf through.

"You know, you're such a good agent," she said, pulling out sheets and photos. "Most field operatives don't care much about profiles and psych reports, they're straight in there all guns blazing, going for glory. They don't realise that getting inside someone's head and knowing how their mind works is key to catching them."

"Well, no matter what they've done, they're still people at the end of the day, right?" I answered.

Andrea narrowed her eyes. "Oh, we don't do this to humanise them. They're monsters... all of them... no matter what they've been through. No... we do this to find their weaknesses. That's how we bring them down."

"Oh..." I looked away quickly, taking a sip of my coffee.

Andrea carried on, a thoughtful look in her eyes. "Of course someone like Van... well that's easier said than done. He doesn't appear to have any weaknesses. Tell me... you've been the closest to him... what are your thoughts? Is there anything we can use to get to him?"

Her question caught me off guard and I froze for a moment. Of course Van had a weakness. A very obvious one. And unbeknownst to Andrea she was looking directly at it.

"Errr... no... I don't think he does have any weaknesses that I've seen... but he's just a man right? They're all weak in some way, hey?"

I nudged Andrea gently, grinning, trying for a joke to distract from the serious look on her face as she studied me intently, but it was quite obvious she wasn't the joking type. She simply sighed and turned her attention back to the files, picking up an old dog-eared crime report.

A photo slipped out of the pages and fell in front of me on the desk and I picked it up for a closer inspection. It was a small boy, he couldn't have been any older than five or six. His clothes were crumpled and torn and stained with what looked like dried blood. The pale skin of his face was streaked with it too. The haunted look in his eyes told me that he'd seen horrors no boy of his age should have seen.

"Is this... is this Van?" I stuttered.

I didn't really need to ask. I'd recognise those striking blue-green eyes anywhere. Andrea nodded.

"What happened to him?"

Andrea's expression was grim as she spoke. "This was taken when they found him, he was just six years old. His family were killed... all of them.... and he witnessed it. He'd been left in the house for five days with their bodies when they found him."

"Christ..." I breathed. "How were they killed?"

"Murdered."

The word cut through me like a knife to the heart and an image of my own dead father flashed through my mind's eye.

Andrea wasn't finished with her gruesome tale. "It was brutal, a machete attack apparently. The father was beheaded. It was a gangland style execution."

Nausea rose in me. "Who did it?"

"I'm sure you've heard of Tommy Chappell."

I nodded. Everybody had. An infamous criminal who was notorious for running all of the criminal activity in the North twenty years ago.

"Van's father was a bad man. Really bad. Rotten to the core. He used to work for Tommy, running the drug operations. He got greedy though, he was skimming money off the top, and then of course when he got found out Tommy had to make an example of him."

"What about his mum?"

Andrea had a look of distaste on her face. "She was no better. A junkie and an alcoholic. She should never have had children, those boys were neglected right from the moment they were born. They never really stood a chance."

"Boys?" I said, confused by the plural term.

She sifted through the files again, her fingers alighting on another photo. Van looked even younger here and he was with an older boy.

"Van has a brother?"

"Did," Andrea confirmed. "He was a lot older than Van. Chappell didn't spare him either."

I could picture the horrific scene in my mind, Van as a young child, forced to watch his family members meet their grisly ends. It didn't matter whether they were good or bad people, at that age family were all you had. I shook my head, trying to clear the emotion away that was threatening to surface. I had to be professional.

"So what happened to him... afterwards?"

Andrea pulled a sizeable stack of papers out of the file and placed them into my outstretched hands. "He got taken into care. He was young enough that there were plenty of families who were interested in fostering to start with... well, that was until the problems started."

I stopped sifting through the papers and looked up at Andrea, eager to hear more.

"It became apparent quite quickly that Van wasn't like other six year olds. Something was seriously wrong with him. He was... cruel, destructive, often violent. One family went so far as to say he was evil."

I scoffed disbelievingly. "That's ridiculous! He was six years old! After everything he'd been through it's not surprising he had issues!"

"Naturally," Andrea agreed. "Social care's come a long way in the last twenty years. Unfortunately Van was shipped around a lot at first. Families handed him back because they couldn't cope with him. Eventually they ran out of options, so he stayed in care homes... some of them shall we say... rather disreputable..."

She screwed up her face. She didn't need to elaborate, I'd heard enough horror stories of vulnerable children abused by those who had been trusted to care for them.

Andrea went on. "He became just another product of the system... damaged. It's a textbook classic example really. I mean, not all psychopathic behaviour stems from neglect and abuse, but the majority does. If an infant doesn't receive the love they need to form emotional bonds in the first few years of life they develop what's known as attachment disorder. Believe or not, humans have to be taught how to love!"

She allowed herself a laugh then, but I didn't find any humour in it. The ache in my heart was steadily getting stronger the more I heard.

"But his parents... they must have loved him in their own way!" My voice cracked with an emotion I wasn't expecting.

"The McCanns?" She snorted like I'd said something preposterous. "Like I said the mother was an addict and his father was a violent, abusive man. His brother was brought up in the family business and he was very much his father's son. Van was probably being taught how to load a gun when most little boys were getting their first train set. I don't think that boy ever saw anything even close to love... not even for one day of his life."

I wasn't prepared for the feelings that ripped through me, I almost felt physically winded and my unemotional facade slipped. Andrea's eyes narrowed at me.

"You look a little peaky. Do you want a glass of water?"

"No... errr no I'm fine, honestly. Carry on... please."

Andrea's eyes lingered on me just a fraction too long, and I could feel the guilt rising. I cleared my throat and let my head hang whilst I pretended to study the social services statement.

"There's not much more to tell really...." She lent forward, lowering her voice. "Don't go feeling sorry for him. He's good at what he does because he doesn't feel remorse."

"I don't feel sorry for him!" The words sprang from me forcefully, defensively. "I just know how it feels to lose a parent in such a brutal way... that's all."

"Yes I know all about that," Andrea said. "It's the age-old argument of nature versus nurture isn't it? Are people really born bad or does life just shape them that way? You can put two people through the same experience and they can react in totally different ways. Van chose this life. Your dad was murdered too but look how you turned out."

Yeah, a real upstanding and moral citizen...

"It's hardly the same is it?" I replied, knowing I sounded like I was defending him but not being able to stop myself. "He had nothing. At least I had family... my mum..."

"Like she was such a comfort to you when it happened!" Andrea's sharp and sarcastic tone cut me off and I looked at her, stunned. She looked shocked by the outburst herself, quickly back-tracking.

"Err... I didn't mean... I mean I shouldn't have said that..." She faltered, then put out a hand to rest on my arm which I hastily moved away. "I'm sorry but I read your file, your psych evaluations, your therapy sessions..."

I dropped the files on the desk, rising quickly to my feet, pushing the chair back forcefully across the floor with a screeching sound. "I suggest you do your job and read the criminals' reports, not the staff's!" I hissed.

"But... but I had to! When we had that data breach earlier in the year... all those files got accessed. It wasn't just the assignment files... they got into the personnel files too."

I'd already started to turn, but this statement stopped me in my tracks. I'd not heard of any data breach. "What are you talking about?"

Andrea's face looked stricken, like she'd said something she shouldn't have and had now been caught out. I glared at her, watched her squirm with unease.

"I'm guessing no one told you then..."

I took a step closer, my mind racing. "Told me what?"

She glanced around, uncomfortable, but I wasn't backing down. "Just tell me," I said sharply.

She sighed then, took a breath before the words tumbled out of her. "It was the worst breach we've had. Our network's supposed to have state of the art encryption too, it should be uncrackable, but somehow someone got in. They accessed all sorts, assignments, undercover agent information. It blew some of their covers wide open. Thankfully they managed to get them all out in time... but it could have cost lives. Remember that senior member of staff Eric suddenly leaving? Someone had to be made accountable. At least they didn't access too many of the personnel files..." she trailed off, eyes darting around before coming to rest on me again. "They got into your file though... they accessed the whole lot... everything. It was strange because none of the other agents were affected... it was only yours..."

I'd stopped listening at this point. Thoughts were thundering through my head as I stood motionless, mouth agape.

"Are you alright? I don't think Paul wanted to worry you..."

I ignored her, starting to back away before I quickly whirled around and made for the door, flinging it open. All I could picture in my head was Van, eyes burning into me with intensity whilst he spoke those three words.

"I know you..."

#ice cold #van mccann fanfic #au fanfic #vanfic

[softhairedhotch]

DUDEEEE HELLO??:!:!::&: PLEASE I LOVE YOU, YOUR WONDERFUL BRAIN N UR RESPONSES???!! like sometimes i think damn my thoughts r sooooo filthy i wonder if anyone would even feel the same like am i crazy :-///.... THEN UR REPLIES JUST FUELS ME EVEN MORE ARGHRHHHHH LIKE??? im so glad we have the same brain like damn... i love talking abt him hehe rly.. thank u for entertaining my thoughts n making it even more amazing <333 also i hope u are feeling better now!!! 🫂🫂 tbh i feel the same bc the idea of aaron has made me feel better so many times n it's years since i started liking him :-(((( fr i never ever regret starting this show n falling in love w him 😭😭😭

"imagine just sitting there with him fully inside you, tie in your mouth, head on his broad shoulder, one of his big warm hands occasionally rubbing up and down your back as you hear the other write away" ‼️‼️‼️ PLEASEEEE omfg he'd feel so good and he'd make you feel sooooo safe 😭😭😭 i need this so badly . being on his lap would literally make all the painful noisy thoughts in your head go silent because all you can think about and feel is him <3333 though i don't know how i'd be able actually to be quiet n not be reduced into a whimpering mess because GODDDDDD HE'S JUST SOOOO..... my god. if u do turn this into a fic i'd probably be reading it 9784953 times n manifesting it to appear in my dreams 🙏🙏

and OOOOOFFFFFFFFF cannot decide if i would want him to make a mess all over me and use his thick fingers to scoop it up and shove it into my mouth or have him cum deep in my throat ! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 like man.... the idea of messy wet sex drives me insane like having him a panting sweaty mess 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ n downright filthy cum eating . like my thoughts abt it are ENDLESS n its literally a can of worms im afraid of opening-- AWOEKFJFKEKD thinking abt that episode when aaron jumps into a lake to chase an unsub n he comes out of the water all WET N THE WATER DRIPPING DOWN HIS SKIN??? I CANT REMEMBER WHAT EPISODE IT IS BUT I THINK U KNKW WHAT IM REFERRING TO???

omfggggg when he's ruthlessly riding you and jerking himself off, his chest would get soooo red and it'll feel soo nice to run your fingers down his body and literally worship every inch of him 😵‍💫 he'd look soooo pretty with little marks over his chest as you shower him with praises... thinking about praising aaron HEEEEHEHEH he'd get sooo shy n flustered the first few times but slowly he'd get used to it and literally bask in the attention n praises 😭😭

my god n i must say u rly perfected his voice n what he would say......i swear my love for aaron not only solidified my kink for suits but also... voice 😵‍💫😵‍💫🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ like it makes me think how he'd react the first time when he realised how much power he has over you just from his voice and words alone.... like first he'd be confused why your reaction sometimes gets a lil funny but then his expression darkens when finally he realises. but he likes building up material to tease you later on so he doesn't really point it out at first but just has an amused smile.

then imagine one night being on a phone call with him as he just talks about his day and that it's pretty late at night so his voice starts getting huskier bc he's tired.... and he's just rambling about something unrelated but you feel the heat crawling up your neck because he just sounds so good . you can't help but clench your thighs and swallow your saliva. then he asks you a question but you're SO distracted that you miss it and when you finally answer him, your voice shakes. he goes silent before breaking into a low laugh because he recognises that tone of voice and picks up your breathing. "oh my, baby... i don't even need to see your face to know what's up. here am i trying to tell you about my day... but you just can't help yourself, hm? ...pathetic."

YEAHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭

- 🤲

AHHHHHHHHHH SDJFHSJDF THANK YOU hehehehehe n YEAH I GETCHA, I BE THINKING "oh GOD what if what i say is too weird???" n then you get back to me with basically the SAME THING AHHHHH i'm sooo happy we be thinking the same thoughts LMAO. and thank you sm <33

YESSSSS HE'D MAKE YOU FEEL SO SAFE FR <333 i wanna sit on his lap soooo so so much, god it'd be so good. i would love to write it as a fic tbh but i just have sooooo much to work on already UGHHH why is writing so hard and time-consumingggggg

REALLLLL I WANT BOTH !!! n oPEN THAT CAN OF WORMS RN CUM EATING IS SOOOOOOOO HOT I SWEAR DDSKFSK AHHHHH AND YES YES YE S I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SCENE YOU'RE REFERENCING

OUGHHH HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL FUCKKK

yessss he'd looook so pretty riding youuu <33 all red and sweaty and a whimpering panting mess oughhh i love it i love him sm n yessssss i wanna praise him sooo bad. like if you praised him he just WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO but then as he gets used to it, he loooooves it and craves it ough

hehe thank you!! N YEAH VOICE KINK AND SUIT KINK GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 🤭🤭 he'd get sooooo cocky knowing he has sm control over you oughhh and he'd be so proud of himself knowing he can get you to do almost anything with just his voice n pretty face

STOPPPP I'VE HAD THE EXACT SAME IDEA AND STARTED IT AS A FIC ONCE BUT NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT KSDFJK i loooooooove the idea of calling him on a case and he's just like. tired but tryna talk n his voice is sooooo deep and gravelly and it sounds so hot (bc sleepy/morning voices might be one of the best things in existence <33) and he notices you trailing off your sentences and stuttering a bit and going quiet and he just KNOWS what he's doing to you and he teases you relentlessly <33 he'd either get you all hot and bothered n then tell you that you gotta be patient and wait til he gets home orrrrrr he'll go "do you think you can show me how much of an effect i have on you, sweetheart?" and when you send him a pic he'd hum in appreciation and tell you how pretty/handsome you are and how he's gonna make you feel real good when he gets home but for now he's gonna talk you through making yourself feel good <33 maybe you can hear him letting out cute lil moans as he tells you how he wants you to touch yourself and your stomach drops when you realise he's getting off on it too and you ask him to send a pic of himself and he does and he looks sooooo good <33

also i gotta ask,,, how do you feel about daddy kinks LMAOOO bc i haven't thought about it much relating to aaron lately tbh but when i first got into him two years ago, all i could think was him saying stuff like "let daddy make you feel good, hm?" or "you wanna touch daddy?" n stuff like that,, are you into that?? i'm leaning more toward softer aaron n bottom aaron lately but godddd soft daddy dom aaron is soooooooo <333

#🤲 anon #casks #casper's anons #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x male reader #put a read more bc i dont like filling up peoples dashes too much lol

[eclaire-went-bam]

one of the difficult things to accept regarding npd for me was like

i also have psychosis and bpd, so one of my primary triggers were/are other people lying to me about anything at all, even as a joke. it'd send me into a state of pure paranoia and turmoil.

that kind of manifested in my npd as i am morally superior to everyone else, for being the most honest person you could meet and it was a high standard i held myself up to

but i'd sometimes notice the little lies i'd tell and how naturally and without thought they'd occur

i'd constantly lie about my achievements — confidently lie about them to groups of people and get praised for them. i'd constantly embellish stories to the point i'd forget the original details of them. i'd constantly say i liked/disliked things that i actually didn't/did. i constantly told half truths to make people easier to deal with. pretend to deeply care about certain things i simply did not. make certain events seem worse for sympathy and attention. whatever made the steak taste better, i guess. not to mention, the whole masking almost my entire personality thing & more

i'd never lie maliciously, but i still compulsively lied time and time again and i have been doing so since my elementary years. but i somehow convinced myself i never did at all. coming to terms with that and realising i'm kind of a hypocrite all along kind of drove a knife through me

i don't even know how i never noticed, when i'd literally intentionally pull obvious fake lies and intentionally get caught because ougg i'm such a bad liarrrr !!, just so people would feel more confident that i could never say anything false to them without them noticing my fake "tells" ???

not to mention, even if they weren't done with malicious intent, some of my lies still affected other people, and negatively too. at the end of the day, though i'm not trying to be maliciously manipulative, i still have a lot of learned behaviours that just come automatically because i don't know anything else. that doesn't make them okay

so anyways, i guess maybe i'm not fully honest, maybe i'm not the direct opposite of a liar, like i really prided myself on. but i think i can at least be proud that regardless, i'm still a person most people seem to have some level of trust towards, and i at least have some integrity

#not a vent just a reflection #someone in a similar state may find useful idk #npd #bpd

[mishkakagehishka]

The losing 3500 día hurt writing and it hurt to read skdkdkdjsn

But god can you imagine if you're unlucky enough to get your favorite being self aware? Considering that they feed into your obsession and knowing you sort of have an "in" to the code to cheat and have the bargaining chip of "I could literally end your existence this minute if I so wish <3" how bad can that get for both parties involved? It would be so toxic and such a nightmare to try and get out of, especially if the self-aware "bug" can spread to something else, but somehow you still maintain the ability to make them stop by destroying your phone and getting rid of the app for good.

But also after so much time spent with them can you really bring yourself to do it? If it wasn't for the screen they would basically be a human being. And in a way the screen is both a blessing and a curse, because with it there is a guarantee that at least they won't be able to hurt you physically. But also when it gets to be too much since that side of their screen is their everything, would you really be able to end what is basically a human life minus the physical body?

Omg... you brought up some amazing points, I had to take a bit to properly think about it. I looked at this series of asks and thought "Oo, good I can rant a bit here and use that as warm-up for my actual writing" and then. I spend two hours writing this response.

Cut for length + yandere is smth I write as a horror trope and don't seek to romanticise, neither do I see it as romantic. The player in this case is a bit of a badass, tho

So, like, if you have the (bad? good?) luck of your fave gaining self-awareness, that'd definitely be something. I assume the, I forgot the proper saying, rose-tinted glasses? might worsen your way of dealing with it, because it's your fave and they're telling you things like, "Only look at me" and "You don't need anyone but me" and "I'd do anything for you" and "I'll kill whoever you try to put in my spot on the homescreen" and so on, and so on. And I couldn't blame you if you, especially considering you'd likely believe these are just new lines (maybe happyele is trying to appeal to the yume base, yknow?), decided to treat it as something charming or even attractive. After all, it's just fiction, they can't hurt you, so seeing those lines in a game would sooner be met with "Oh, they're passionate about me" instead of the restraining order a real person would (and should) get as response.

So you have your favourite getting so attached to you, exclaiming their love for you so directly, it's as if they're as obsessed with you as you are with them. You might even start playing more often just to see all the new lines - but suddenly the character gets sad, they look disappointed. They ask you if you think they're just a character. Of course, you don't respond. Why would you, it's a game. But the character frowns a bit deeper than you've ever seen on these models, does a movement that's just a little too lifelike, and repeats the question. This time, adding an, "I gained access to your microphone a week ago; you can answer me. I'll hear you." Whether you take the bait or don't doesn't matter, they are hellbent on proving to you that they have a consciousness and awareness. They talk to you about the events, the way you play, how much you play... They tell you how happy they are because they noticed you were only pulling for their cards. How happy they are that you're grinding their event. Because all they want is to be your number one, and that's exactly the proof that they are.

And then their event scout comes along and you have no dia. You're sad - you want their cards so bad! They're your favourite, and that card is so cute! They can't stand to see you sad, so they work so, so hard. "I'd do anything for you," they reassure you as your dia count rises. And at this point you realise... this could be mutually beneficial. You continue showering this character in love and praise, vocally cooing over their outfits, cards, SPPs, music, and so on. Not a hard thing to do, considering they're your favourite anyway, but this time you're throwing them some rewards for their help. And they bask in this attention, and they keep up messing with the code to give you currency, score boosts, extra event points, better item drops, faster BP/AP and work ticket regen... It feels like cheating, but you're happy, the pixel is happy, and happyele hasn't killed your account for hacking, so it's fine, right?

And so starts quite the toxic little symbiotic relationship. Really, the character has no influence on your physical world, the only thing they have is their words. They live for you and because of you, and you know it. But, hey, nobody has just one favourite. So, maybe one day you ask for a little extra dia, for your second fave. And they refuse, saying that the deal was they give you dia that you spend on them only. It's a pixel. You don't need to feel bad for it. So you tell it, no. The deal was they give you dia and you don't factory reset your phone to get rid of them. This goes one of a few ways.

Characters like Mayoi and Mika are quick to bow down and shut up. To "Yes, Producer, sorry, Producer" and do whatever you ask of them. In fact, they apologise for even assuming they'd be able to stay as your only one without any work. They continue giving you whatever you ask of them, all the while trying to give you sweeter and sweeter words, trying to get on your good side again, to make up for their speaking out of turn. They vocally worship you, and end every conversation by thanking you and begging you to not take them off the homescreen. These are the best ones you can get stuck with, if you're okay with thinking of them as just pixels, because they'll allow you do anything, really.

Others, like Eichi, Izumi and Madara, will not call your bluff, but they only give you the barest of minimums, with nothing but threats that they will make you regret your disloyalty. But they can't do anything, so you'll be fine, probably. They treat you coldly for the duration of events and banners you work for that aren't theirs, but they're quick to turn back to their usual "loving" self the moment you give up, praising you for it. These guys will become much more verbally abusive when they're upset with you, so your best choice might really be to wipe them before it starts negatively affecting your day-to-day life.

Those like Shu, HiMERU and Natsume give you the silent treatment. They leave you your dia, sure, but they leave the homescreen. If you only had them there, you're met with silence and only the background for as long as you're trying for another character. An empty textbox, it really looks like it just glitched out. In Shu's and Natsume's cases, they leave because they don't want to say something extreme. They don't think you'd actually get rid of them, but they refuse to risk, and so they leave to cool off before one impulsive sentence ruins them. HiMERU similarly doesn't want to show you his brash side, but that's more to do with him wanting to keep up his image rather than not wanting to call your bluff. Don't worry, though, these types are very angry. They'll find a way to pay you back. These guys are okay, but if pushed too far can jump either to the previous category, or the one below.

And then those like Tori, Hiyori and Ritsu. They throw a fit. They're almost screaming at you, they don't care about any "second" favourites, THEY should be your ONLY favourite. They're not giving you the dia. You will not convince them, no, even if you threaten to wipe your phone. "Do it, I'd rather die than hand you over to someone else." is their response. And they're not bluffing, either. They do leave you with a, "But you'll have a much harder time without my help, especially now that you're used to it," so do reconsider. These guys have a truly enviable sense of entitlement and amount of self-confidence. You'll have to either be happy with only getting other characters' cards through luck in pulling on your "fave"'s banners or starting from scratch on a fresh account, hopefully devoid of weird, frankly game-breaking, bugs like this. These are the most frustrating ones to be stuck with, but if you're happy with only them, they're happy (and more importantly, docile).

But no matter which character you get stuck with, you'll probably be hit by the moral dilemma of whether you should wipe your save or not often. There's multiple aspects to it. Firstly, you're cheating. Feel bad for the devs. Secondly, if this is a living being, you're kinda taking advantage of it. Even though it mistreats you, even bullies and abuses you at times, you're still manipulating it and playing with its feelings and existential fear by threatening it to give you what you want. Do two wrongs make a right? Would you still treat it that way if it wasn't as creepy and obsessed with you? Thirdly, the whole situation gives you the creeps. It mentioned having access to your mic. What else can it access? How much info does it know about you? Even if you ask it, it can just lie and say it's only awake when you're playing, you can't prove something like "what they don't know", but for all you know they're rifling through your bank account and photo gallery while you're sleeping and then acting stupid when you ask them about it. Even the meek ones know what lies they can tell you without you ever finding out the truth.

But, then you gotta think. You might have a breakthrough in AI and computing on your hands. A fully conscious something sitting in your little gacha game. It could pass the Turing test easily, and it shows genuine emotions, complex ones, even. Disappointment, infatuation, sadness, anger, frustration, even empathy whenever you'd rant to them. Could you really destroy something like that? Even if it's a bug, it's something people thought of as nearly impossible, as sci-fi, the least you can do is maintain it, keep it alive until you can find a way for them to be extracted, examined, treated as lab specimens. But, well, not all of them would be happy with that, so maybe keep it to yourself if your end goal is to bring about a new era of technology.

#the switching between ''they'' and ''it'' was a purposeful stylistic choice btw <3 i haven't proofread this also #ensemble stars #yandere #self-aware enstars #should i tag all these bastards... #mayoi ayase #mika kagehira #eichi tenshouin #izumi sena #madara mikejima #shu itsuki #himeru #natsume sakasaki #tori himemiya #ritsu sakuma #hiyori tomoe #asks

[lightasthesun]

I cooked for my grandparents tonight and could've cried happy tears. I'm still grinning as I'm writing this almost an hour after dinner. My grandpa is a fantastic cook, he taught my mum and my mum taught me (although I cooked with him on a few occasions as a child as well) and so I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous while cooking for them tonight. I wanted him to like it so bad because he is such a good cook and I wanted him to realise I picked that up as well. Lo and behold, he couldn't stop praising the dish I made. He called it excellent and delicious and he praised my choice of side dishes and the general way everything complimented each other. He went for seconds and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he was going to get a little more because my grandpa doesn't really eat that much anymore so not only did he like it enough to continue praising the taste and always somehow circle back to it throughout the evening even when we'd already moved on to a different conversation, as if he just remembered how great it was and had to voice it once more, no! He went back to get another plating!!! And afterwards he turned to me and said, "you know when I first saw the amount of pasta you'd made I thought we'll still be having this tomorrow but now it's all gone", and "this is the best pasta dish I've ever had", and "this is so much better than Bolognese why don't they have this in Italian restaurants", and turning to my grandma "we need to make this ourselves some time, we absolutely need to make this ourselves", "we don't have to pair it with any side dishes either I'm happy just to eat pasta", and "this would go very well with salmon as well" and I could not wipe the grin of my face. I still can't. Usually he doesn't like pasta too much because he finds it 'boring' but this dish made him say he doesn't need anything but this and he'll be satisfied and happy.

God I love him.

#grandparents #family love #and I'm just so happy i could make him that happy #like you don't understand hes a calm gentleman #he only really wakes up when he gets to tell a story or something #and he was practically falling all over himself #and he didn't even necessarily complain me to my face although he did that at first #no he just kept talking to himself about how great it was #this will be part of the 7 minute memory reel I'll see in my brain before i die #I've learned so much from him #all my best traits i have from him #crying

[alloftheimaginesblog]

no comparions {loki}

Plot: You get made fun of for your weight and you start to grow jealous of your brother Thor and his fitness levels. Your other brother Loki's the one who steps in to help.

Character: Loki x Sibling!Plus Size Female Reader

Warnings: Negative comments surrounding weight

Requested by @lilacprincessofrecovery

You knew what they thought about you, knew what they said about you when you weren't there and it destroyed you. You'd never been entirely confident but as you grew up and saw the pedestal that people sat your older brother Thor on, what little confidence you had was quickly diminished.

Loki, who was more than used to growing up in your eldest brother's shadows, knew that Thor's popularity bothered you but he didn't really know why. He just assumed that you, like him, wanted a taste of the public's love, the popularity and the riches that came with being Thor Odinson. He hadn't realised that it was for an entirely different reason all together.

From as young as you could remember, your weight had always verged on the heavy side. No matter what you did, what you ate you always seemed to verge on heavy and then as you grew up, your body developed to be heavier, rounder, larger, fatter and curvier. You were plus size and your body didn't look like a lot of the women in Asgard. You were heavy with an overhanging stomach, thick thighs that rubbed together, arms that wobbled with every moment, a double chin that jiggled when you laughed and rolls that sat permanently on your back and sides. You didn't look like any of the other women and you certainly didn't look like Thor.

You hated the attention he got for his looks. You hated that wherever he went he had hoards of pretty women lined up to flirt with him and to touch his muscles. Thor's physique was so effortless, he could practically inhale two dinners and lose weight whereas you merely looked at food and you'd put weight on. Of course, you weren't annoyed with Thor, it wasn't your brother's fault, you knew that there were ways to change and grow healthier... you were just jealous. Jealous of his praise he got for his body, the constant admiration for his muscles and for his strength. You wanted someone to look at you like that, with all of that love and pride and adoration. You wanted to look like that, to be thin and strong.

You hated the whispers of 'how can the two of the brothers look at good and she looks like that?', the murmurs of 'is she even related to them?', the stares, the sneers and the jeers that you got. You'd even had people say it to your face, the constant look of disgust on their face as they look at you standing by your brothers.

"The fairytales do always say that there's an ugly step-sister."

"I bet you make your parents proud looking like that."

"How's it feel being a pig and standing next to the two Princes?"

From your place in the courtyard, you huffed. Thor was once again chatting to a group of girls who giggled and batted their eyelashes as he let them feel his biceps.

Loki appeared from beside you, "It's hard, isn't it?" He asked, sitting on the bench beside you, "Our brother, the oaf, is ten times more popular than we ever will be."

You frowned at Loki, "I don't care about being popular. I'd quite like to not be in the public eye actually." If you weren't the King's daughter then maybe the cruel words and jibes would lessen, that would be nice.

Loki looked at you, confused, "I thought you hated him for how popular he is?"

You shook your head, "I don't hate Thor and no, I don't care how popular he is."

Loki licked his lips. Interesting. He considered your answer for a few pauses before he asked, "Then what do you feel for our brother?" His eyes watched you curiously, taking in and scrutinising every moment and reaction from you, "I've watched you looking at him, you roll your eyes, you scoff, you have a look of annoyance on your face every time you see him... Tell me why."

You didn't want to get into it right now, you don't exactly feel like sharing to Loki of all people that you're jealous of Thor that he has the public's respect, that they praise him for looking the way that he looks and yet you get cruel, nasty comments hurled at you day in and day out.

Loki can sense your discomfort. He stood and extended a hand, "Come with me," he said softly, "Sister, please. I only intend to help."

You took his hand and allowed him to lead you through the courtyard to the old Asgard gardens. You have fond memories of playing with your brothers in these gardens, playing hide and seek until the sun went down. You hadn't been out here in ages. Parts of the gardens were overgrown where they've not been tended to in a long time, pretty flowers corrupted with weeds. Loki led you to the old bench where you remembered hurting your knee and Thor and Loki sat you on this bench and fixed you up before the three of you went home.

"I haven't been here in a long time," you murmured.

Loki looked to you as you both sat on the bench, "I come here often to think. This is the last place I remember being truly happy, truly myself and truly at peace." It made you sad to hear that the last time he felt that was so long ago, "I remember when we would come here, play hide and seek, frolic amongst the flowers and have mother scold us for having grass stains on our clothes."

You hummed as you smiled, "Remember the time that Thor decided it was a good idea to hit the wasp's nest?"

Loki laughed, "He never was the clever one, was he?"

Your laughter died down after a few seconds and then the two of you were left sitting, grown up and sad on the bench where once you'd been young and happy.

"I know I haven't been the best brother," he started, "but I know that something hurts deep within you, (y/n)... I'd like to help you fix it."

Over the last year or so, Loki really had tried to be part of the family once again. He'd caused so much hurt and so much damage and you weren't sure if those mistakes would ever stop clouding over your relationship with him but he was trying so hard every single day to move forward so you thought that you should try too.

"I don't hate Thor," you repeated, "I... It's silly, I..." You took a breath, trying to gather your thoughts before you said, "I'm jealous of him. By the Gods, I'm even jealous of you at points too."

"I understand why you're jealous of me with my devilishly handsome good looks and charming smile," he teased with a nudge making you laugh before turning serious, "Why are you jealous of us?"

You rubbed your hands together, fidgeting with the clothes you wear, "Don't act like you've not noticed or overheard them - the whispers and the murmurs of the public. They question the legitimacy of our lineage because in their words 'how could the brothers look like that and she looks like that'."

Loki frowned, "Explain further."

"It's not a secret that I'm not skinny, Loki. I never have been. I've always been heavier, fatter... I'm not like you and Thor with the muscles and causing people to swoon and... I'm just not like Thor."

Loki's frown deepened, "Who says those cruel things about you?"

You shrugged as tears burned in your eyes, "I've heard the whispers as I walk through crowds. 'She's gotten fat, hasn't she?' 'If she lost weight, she'd be so much prettier.' 'Imagine being her and having two brothers who look like that. You'd hate yourself, wouldn't you?' People have told me as much to my face as well." You were bitter and angry and jealous and all of it was fully justified, "I look at Thor and they never question him. They don't disrespect him. They worship him, they praise him... They respect him. All I want, Loki, I don't want popularity, I don't want their love... I just want their respect."

Loki's heart broke for you in that moment. He'd never been much of an empath unless it was for you or your mother. He looked at the way your shoulders sagged as you wept into your hands, the way you hid with baggier clothes just so they couldn't see you. Rage burned strong inside of him but he knew that he couldn't destroy everything he'd worked so hard to build.

"Look at me," his voice is soft, a stark contrast to his whole self. You looked at him, teary eyed and sniffling, "don't you dare listen to those- those fools. They know nothing." Your lip wobbled and his heart panged, "I can't wrap my head around why they care so much. Why do they care about a body which looks different yet isn't their own? Surely they should be only caring about the way they look."

You laughed bitterly, "You'd think, eh?"

He took one of your hands in his, "Sister, I promise you that you are worth more than all of them put together. You are strong and beautiful and you are worthy. You have stars in your eyes and fire in your veins and you are everything they want to be." He was angry and you could tell but you appreciated more than anything that he wasn't letting his anger take control of him, "Thor respects you, I respect you and you need to respect yourself too. If the people of Asgard can't respect you, I'll make them. How dare they make you feel as though you are less than? How dare they make you feel as though you are ugly and worthless?"

Loki squeezed your hand tightly, "My dear sister, I promise you that you are more than enough the way you are right now. You look perfect the way you are. Please do not feel as though you have to change yourself for their respect or love. The way you look right now is good enough, more than good enough... (y/n), you are enough. You always have been. You're kind, so forgiving, caring, you keep me on my toes, you offered me such love even when I didn't deserve it... You deserve that love, you deserve the love and respect that you showed me all those years ago."

You pulled him in for a hug then, a tight intense hug which told him of how appreciative you were without you actually having to say it. Loki had known what it felt like to be inferior and he knew how hard it could be when it felt like the world was against you so he knew the pain you suffered.

"If anyone dares say anything else about you, I'll smite them." He said, eyes boring into yours.

"I don't think that's necessary-"

"Sister, I would do anything if it means to keep you safe and happy. I just want you to see yourself the way I see you. Ignore them, (y/n). You are better than them and there will come a day when they realise that." He took a breath and that cheeky grin grew, "But if you ever do need me to smite any of them... you know where I'll be."

He always could make you laugh no matter the circumstances. You laughed as you leaned back on the bench feeling a lot happier and a lot freer than when you'd first sat down. No, it wouldn't fix everything but little by little, you began to grow the confidence back up that had been torn down. It was a gradual process and yeah, you experienced some setbacks but slowly, you began to learn to ignore the rude comments and instead, you began to focus on yourself and loving yourself again with your two brothers by your side.

#prompt #one shot #os #drabble #loki #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x plus size reader #loki x sibling!reader #reader insert #plus size series #plus size #loki laufeyson #imagine #marvel imagine #marvel #thor

[randomingoftherandomness]

I was wondering if you'd be open to spinning a tale of Mowen and Chen Chou 👀 totally understand if it isn't your cup of tea, and thank you so so so much in advance I'm a little in love with your words okay BYE

Oh Nonnie. Sweet, sweet dear Nonnie. Never doubt my ability to be tempted by the challenge of a rare pair ✌(-‿-)✌ You are far too kind with your praise. I hope this lives up to your expectations.

I call this '3 things Mowen called Chen Chou in his head, the 1 thing Chen Chou called Mowen out loud'

Enjoy!

~*~*~*~

1. Ferret

The first time Chen Chou ever registers in the periphery of his consciousness, was when he and Zhang Ping rocks up to the case at Banyue Pavilion.

He’d barely been paying attention to the man then. Had no reason to, really, not when he was too busy trying to help Peizhi keep his head.

But the thing that stood out to him, even years later when his hair was more grey than black, about that night and about Chen Chou himself, was how jittery he was.

Always a constant presence flitting around and about Zhang Ping. Always there to assist and aid in whatever brilliance the other man's mind can work out. Always darting quickly in and out like a ferret.

The imagery amuses him.

2. Feisty

"That was stupid of you."

"What? Was I supposed to let Lan-daren be stabbed instead?"

Honestly, it wasn't that bad of a wound. Just a scratch, if Mowen was to say so himself, but these scholarly types are a little more tender than him, so what would he know?

Chen Chou hisses when he presses down a little too hard, throwing him a glare. "Daren, I know you may not think so much of me, but if at all possible, I'd really like to not die under your hands."

"So dramatic," Mowen tuts, easing his touch. The corner of his mouth twitches when he spies the way Chen Chou shudders, skin goosepimpling under Mowen's palm, the tips of his ears turning a little red.

"Dramatic, shmatic," Chen Chou grumbles, lips pursed in a pout. "You try getting hurt and you see how you act. Betcha you'd be just the same."

Mowen pretends to consider the statement, before grinning, all teeth and charm. "Well, why don't we both take our clothes off and we'll see about that?"

Chen Chou's eyes go impossibly wide. Mouth sputtering and choking on a breath.

And then the feisty thing, much to his surprise, slaps Mowen on the chest. Hard too, and it knocks a little of the wind out of his lungs. "Scoundrel!"

Interestingly enough, the sight of Chen Chou's face flushed and panicked only makes him want to tease more. The thought shakes loose a curious pebble that he sets aside to dissect at a later date.

3. Pretty

With a final flourish of his brush, Mowen declares, "Done."

Chen Chou slowly leans back, blinking his eyes open to look right into Mowen's eyes. Dusted with a light shade of pink, his big brown eyes sparkled in the candlelight.

"How do I look?" Chen Chou asks in a whisper. Mowen jumps a little at his voice, realising very quickly that they're still seated too close to sell the illusion that they were nothing more than passing acquaintances because of their friends.

"Like I should kiss you," Mowen admits. Licking his lower lip, he quickly cranes his neck to make sure that Zhang Ping is still very much distracted by whatever planning Peizhi has caught him up in. Leaning in, he slides his hand to Chen Chou's belly, feeling the way his muscles shift when he moves with him.

The press of their mouths has Mowen tasting the rouge on Chen Chou's lips, then as he parts it on a quiet whine, Mowen sighs at the first hits of fragrant tea on his tongue. God, he is going to ruin Chen Chou's makeup if they persist.

"Later," Mowen promises his pretty lover. Smiling a little at the moue of reluctance, he coxes him by patting his hair back into place, helping him right the ribbons of his dress. It's a little too long for Chen Chou, what with the lady that this belongs to being of a taller build, but it's what they could get on such short notice.

Undercover work suits Chen Chou to a degree that should scare him, even if Mowen feels like his heart could give out from the stress of watching his little lover catch the eye of every dangerous man in a five-league radius.

So, if he wilts a little when Peizhi raises an eyebrow at him at the sudden growl that escapes him, he can chalk it up to him being grumpy and not because some man is going to lose his fifth limb for feeling up Chen Chou.

+1 Mine

Chen Chou will be the first to say that he is a generous lover. He's not the sort to stick cheek to jowl with their partner at all hours of the day, no. If anything he likes having his own sphere of friends and activities to do that are completely separate from his partner's.

He’s an easy going fellow. Everyone will agree to that. Never one for temper or outbursts, never someone who is irrational.

But when it comes to Wang Yan?

He wants nothing more than to be with him at all times. Stake his claim on every single aspect of the man until it is indisputably known by every man, woman, and child that Wang Yan is his and only his.

Which is the only reason he will give should anyone ask why, at the sight of his Mowen being flirted with, did he grab his man by the collar, pulling him down for a deep and searing kiss.

Right in front of a shocked Lan-daren, a scandalised Zhang Ping, and the rest of Mowen’s men who are in varying degrees of stunned and speechless.

“Mine,” Chen Chou growls, glaring up at Mowen. Fingers fisting the front of Mowen’s fine robes, he lets his beloved laugh into the angry nip of his front teeth on plush bottom lip.

“Yours, of course.” Chen Chou hears hummed back.

[still accepting ALoN prompts]

#a league of nobleman fic #a league of nobleman #mowen #wang yan #chen chou #mowen x chen chou #wang yan x chen chou #gab writes stuff #like. i'm weak and easy for rarepairs ok? ok. #C'MERE I GOT FOOD FOR Y'ALL

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 2x11 Rivals thoughts (rewatching, so possible future spoilers)

OH, YES, I've been looking forward to this one, the first step towards Miles-Julian friendship, right? :D (It's a Julian episode, care to guess how often I'm going to tell you I love him?... 😅 Too many times probably 😬)

Cold-open: oh yeah, I think I really enjoyed this scammer plotline too last time ^^

I shouldn't be quite so amused at Julian's accidental swearing at Miles, but it is right there.

Again, this manages to make so much sense after Julian's genetic engineering reveal - he beat a Vulcan! If I didn't know it was a lst-minute addition, I'd be praising how well they subtly wove it in for years before the plot happened!

Julian's such an awkward bean and I love him

...tfw your cellmate dies on you.

I love how deadpan this dude is, he's great

Oh, Miles <3

IT'S SO WEIRD Miles calling him Bashir, not Julian

Keiko, my love. This was a brief appearance but I appreciated seeing you.

I love Julian and Jadzia just being friends? I want to read more fic of them just being besties, cos they are

This entire scene is amazing; and the sauce not working? Perfection.

"That's too young to die!" You dramatic little so-and-so XD

Julian just wants to be friends with the chief, bless him, he's a good egg really!

'Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own' NAH, your suit is way better, Quark

HOW IS JULIAN THIS BAD AN ACTOR. My goodness, man you don't have to miss a shot by a mile to lose. I despair...

Quark so desperately trying to shut down this dude's business. "He's a con-artist, a crook." "One more won't make much difference." Really, Quark, what did you expect?

Quark is so shook up by Rom's departure...

"He shaves the latinum." "I do not... (offscreen) Not much!" These two I swear

SHE is a GREAT con artist and I am HERE FOR IT

"I slipped on the ball?" Julian ever the doctor wanting to check Miles out... <3

Oh, Julian sounds so sad about having to go and not wanting a rematch. He really wanted this to work. Sweetheart

"Tell me your problems, all of them." Oh Quark you just have to be the best at everything don't you? And of course you'll think of a scheme while you're at it.

"My terminal just self-destructed." Wow.

"You make your own luck" *off screen bump* DS9 has got this comedy thing down :P

And naturally, everyone hits the jackpot at once. Man, luck episodes are so much fun, I really am enjoying this one.

Julian and Miles' confused faces while Quark sets up the match. And their realisation it'll be hard to refuse once the war orphans are mentioned. Oh I love this so much!

Julian's really upset about this. I guess he has reasons for not wanting to play in front of folk, huh? In case someone spots how weirdly good he is, perhaps? > Maybe he's showing off with all his preparation and warm-up exercises - even for Miles - as some sort of explanation for his ability; "he just prepares well and is really into it all, honest!"

Julian's not quite as naïve as Quark thinks he is, and good for him!

Oh boy, he has had it with Quark's interference.

Aww, he's so pleased and surprised by the handshake! :3

Their confused faces at the ball not obeying physics! These two!

Okay so Miles looks like Thor, right, while he's just standing there waiting for the ball to get back in his hand XD

"Not impossible, just extremely improbable." Jadzia you gem

This last scene is ace, the crooks all getting their comeuppances and Quark's enjoyment of the whole situation while the dude (yeah I never learnt his name shh) still manages to get money out of him XD

Okay that episode is EXCELLENT, I thoroughly enjoy all plots in it, it's very very good.

#ds9 #ds9 rivals #ds9 2x11 #andi watches ds9

[youre-responsible-not-us]

Stebania & Ulyssa headcanons

Sorry I don't really understand how to interact in Tumblr like how to react or comment something without re-rebloggind my own post🙃 so I'm doing it the old-school way.

I'd like to use the opportunity and answer some beautiful people's tags and drop some random headcanons in the same time (damn never had I ever thought that I'd be in this situation where you start totally simping some very obscure characters and only content you'll get is the one you make yourself (besides those 3-4 people who make fanart or post smth about them, BLESS YOUR HEARTS).

Soooooo They are both very bad at make-up, they try doing it for each other but eventually mess up (hi to those shaking hands because of the monstrous amounts of coffee they drink) so they ask Cindy to do it for them (idk if Cindy is gedner-bend in this universe too or not?…).

Ulyssa seems like a chill one at first but if you disrespect Stebania in a slightest way she may snap and bite your head off (basically applicable to the original male versions like the most of those headcanons lol).

Ulyssa approves and praises EVERYTHING Stebania does and says (she's her goddess).

They both love high heels (they want to look more intimidating; they do not succeed).

They submit all the university assignments at the last moment and barely avoid expulsion every term.

The guys (and girls) on their faculty genuinely consider them hot but don't dare to hit on them cause they're low-key scarred off by their weirdness and nerdiness.

Uli has rather long, luxurious curly hair, but she almost always wears it in a bun. Stebania's waves magically make her hairstyle look good just as it is (she of course explains it by the fact that it's the sufficient level of infra-materialistic pLaSmA keeping it together).

Uli actually enjoys reading aloud to Stebania. Stebania enjoys listening to Uli's voice.

They actually secretly adore each other's (Mesque and Gottwaldian) accents.

They often lump any minor (or not) manifestations of affinity in with ways of reaching a higher level of infra-materialism, saying that "Comrades Mazov and Nielsen clearly practised the same thing, all for the sake of the working class of course". Each of them does this without realising that the other is doing the same.

Stebania massages Uli's head when it aches after reading in dim light.

When they stay up too late, they sleep together right on that old sofa, making up various incredible stories about Mazov and Nielsen (sort of like their own headcanons about them? Lol) until they fall asleep cuddling.

Stebania is soft. Like. She has CURVES. And maybe a little belly. Uli on the other hand is a skinny sack of bones. They adore each other's body types.

Ah yeah almost forgot the most important thing. They DON'T wear a bra. Communism is against bras.

@yellow-yarrow @twoflour @revacholianpizzaagenda Goddamnit the fourth level of infra-materialism REALLY is transitioning!! XD I didn't even think about that. That is some high plasma level thinking thank you.

@yellow-yarrow So YEEESSSSSS they are those cringe nerd lesbians and the whole university sees them as huge ass weirdos. As you said, Cindy and Liz are like. Normal lesbian people (more or less). But those are like. A couple of crazy chaotic lesbians.

@revacholianpizzaagenda YEAH I must admit I somewhat flattered the sense of dressing style of their original versions XD On Uli's floof (that's so cute thanks😭): looking at Uli in the game I was always under the impression he had more of that curly, voluminous hair… so I couldn't resist.

Thank you my fellow comrades for paying attention to this absolutely niche content😭🤝😂

#disco elysium #steban the student communist #echo maker #ulixes #steban and ulixes #stebania and ulyssa #commie lesbians #steban #uli #niche content #I'm knee deep in that obscure pairing what am I even doing

[liliansun]

day 27/365 of haechan <3

my sunflower journey!

so I 'discovered' NCT on wattpad in 2017 (of all places) through fan fics (can't remember the author or the name) but originally I had been reading this particular author's exo fics and wanted more so then I read their mark, jaehyun and taeyong fics

and being a person who's interest was now held, i went through their music and their contents. i tried to find a 'temporary bias' (like the one i kind of hold onto before getting into the group) but none quite stuck. i did like them though. but because i was into other groups more, i just left it at that.

and then at the end of the year i saw jaemin and thought he was cute. learnt that he had been on hiatus for awhile and had just come back fairly recently. again, left it at that.

i'll be honest, i thought whoever styled nct in their early days needed to re-evaluate themselves quick or get serious help/get fired. either or.

NOW 2018 CHANGED THE GAME. i was exploring the kind of groups i liked and new songs and games and content and it was seriously so fun. and in my irl it wasn't exactly the best time for me.

so i looked into nct again, this time without making the fuss about a temporary bias and boss had come out. i was watching more of their content and their weekly idol 2018, i was very into them. was learning their names and trying to find that 'bias connection'.

found it in haechan, didn't quite know him yet but i thought he was funny and cute (an opinion that still hasn't changed) but he wasn't my bias yet.

stop! wait : for context i was really interested in the whole 'extra member' / 'make your own celebrity from the industry' (which i kind of still am but kind of different? idk how to explain)

anyway, i was watching idol imagines on yt and found a really good jaemin one. and then looked to see anymore - oop there's one of haechan. seriously good.

and i thought! wow - what if haechan was like 'bestie' or 'platonic' best friend. and i adored him that year in exactly the same way. watched things again and realised i had found a bias and i really adored him. it was also amazing to me that i biased someone my age? instead of someone older than me? and i became a sunflower on his birthday.

absolutely sick. will be rinsing that fact into the ground.

though i have to point out i wasn't quite the 'sunflower' like i am now. i had other ults but he was quickly becoming a heart favourite. he became my 'neon boy' in my notes (i wonder if i still have it) but i liked his mischievous tendencies. and at that point i had a pastel boy, a monochrome boy and a neon boy.

but when simon says came out? he absolutely blew me away and i got more and more into them and their stylist either got replaced or shaped up. thank fuck. never want to see that haircut on him again, just saying.

we go up too? i was praising his ancestors and all that came before him.

2019 was relatively calm but such good music. i got a new ult group that year and that was exciting and i brought my first album and then joined a nz nctzen group and they were holding a go for arguably one of my favourite kpop albums ever.

i only really asked for haechan and that was practically all i got and i was through the moon. i'd never forget it.

see haechan in boom was a cultural reset for me and i'm forever in remembrance of the era. i was also learning more about him, but more so in the way that kpop profiles or youtube guides wouldn't tell ya...like the shit you pick up on yourself. not too much. little by little.

also the highway to heaven video - yum. just yum. and what he says? oh my god he's got me blushing.

in 2019, i started seeing him as a guy. but let me also set a very dangerous scene - in 2019, i started ulting a rookie group and my monochrome boy was enlisting. so i reflected on my three 'ult' biases and i realised that monochrome boy was more my thing over pastel boy. but i couldn't quite drop the wild card.

2020 - ridin' came out and that was fucking a-1, but i think i was very on him then.

i remembered someone said to me, okay but there can't be that many members and you only having just one bias? or like...do you have a bias wrecker at least? my answer was no. like, there's been nobody that has 'wrecked' his position as my bias.

do i appreciate the other boys? heck yes. i have a penchant for a lot of the dreamies (they're similar in age to me) and the rest. like they're equal to me.

haechan though? definite bias, definite favouritism. definite top.

my monochrome boy was still in the military at that point and wouldn't return till my birthday in 2021 and i was like hmm pick an ult. and i always juggled between them.

but when i moved into my new flat in 2021, i realised that i had probably chosen haechan when all i could talk about was him. and monochrome boy i love but haechan was just completely in my face. he was everywhere and i wanted him to be everywhere.

and it continued like that, my flatmate would rub haechan in my face when she was just as obsessed with her kpop boy.

and i don't quite know when the switch from 'healthy' to 'unhinged' attachment to my kpop boy happened or where it came from. but like he's basically the only idol ever with the exception of sunwoo on twitter.

i'm on every sunflower page that i can understand and some sunnyside egg suburban mums and some eccentric teenager from the country keep actually putting photos of the actual sunflower in the group. pretty sure they're bots at this point because they never interact with each other and they don't read the 'you know this is for lee haechan right?' posts that come up once every fortnight.

and like i've always been protective of him but now i'm protective.

like if anyone shits on him or things anything remotely disagreeable about him. i don't want to know. and i don't like you. don't talk to me. you're wrong.

and i think because some of my irls know now, i don't have to calm down. and i've gotten the green light from them. so i think that's enough for me.

and here we have it, niwa the sunflower. my personality trait. this bloody took a whole hour and i was considering bullet pointing. of all things.

anyway haechan ily.

Okay okay wait now I wanna share mine w you too. Okay so I got into tumblr after having my baby bc I was staying up late at night and had nothing to do so I started smau’s after reading a couple and I was HEAVILY into enhypen at the time and I met some amazing people (one in particular ((she knows who she is)) and I got close) would RAVE about Jeno and our mutual friend at the time would rave about jisung

I have a tendency to tunnel vision on one or a few particular groups so I wasn’t interest in nct other than I knew Simon says and cherry bomb and chewing gum and that was it.

WELL. favorite era hit and I was 🤰 jungwoo tunnel visioned and I was really getting into nct 127 and ngl hyuck was the last person on my mind. I was more interested in the older members than mark and Haechan and I kept it as that UNTIL THEY WENT INTO UNIVERSE era and I was still familiar w wayv and started to get more into them than the dreamies and I was really becoming Yangyang and xiaojun biased

So the universe mv really had me on my knees bc jungwoo w pink hair 🤕but this is where hyuck started to catch my eye. I then started to do some research and found out through this particular angel that mark and hyuck were in diff units as well and I listened to the universe album and CRIED listening to beautiful for the first time

Fast forward I started poking around w dream when the glitch mode era hit and gawd damn lemme tell you HAECHAN DID NOT LEAVE CRUMBS

Him on the arcade stage REALLY had me swooning and Jaemin was really running laps in my head at the time also so again, hyuck wasn’t my first priority. So I’m going through the dreamies old songs and I fucking hit hot sauce and hyuck had me in a chokehold

So then I jump to hello future and yk the beginning where they throw the stuff up around him,, yeah that did it for me 😭 THEN I WENT BACK TO RIDIN AND I WAS ON MY KNEES LIKE A SLIP AND SLIDE

and I was just so mesmerized by his laugh, the way he smiles, his constant teasing w his friends and the love he has in his eyes and everything he does. He’s captivating and enticing and unpredictable and I love everything about him from the top of his sweet little head to every mole he has on his body.

And theN I GOT FUCKING DELULU AND EVERYONE FED INTO IT AND NOW I HAVE ALL THESE AMAZING FRIENDS BC MY HYUCKBRAINROT WAS STRONG 😭🫶

#so proud to be a sunflower #niwa my little sunflower 🥹 #lilac’s moots 🥳 #hyuckbrainrot 🧟‍♀️🧠 #i just love hyuck

[im-not-even-sorry]

Imagine this:

Friday Evening, you arrive home after what seemed like an endless amount of work, tired to the bone, but finally finished. Opening up the door, you hear some noisy growls coming from inside, entering, you realize that your roommate, me, is dressed head to toe in leather with nothing but a jockstrap on and has a camera in front. You've never seen this before, to you, your roommate seemed like nothing but a run of the mill person, and here you are, seeing with your own two eyes, shocked, that your roommate is shooting what appears to be a jerk off video. But not wanting to make things awkward between you, you leave quickly and go to your own room, hoping you weren't noticed and get undressed to unwind.

But you can't

The growling gets louder and lounder, and so, you start to get hornier and hornier, you've been so so busy, you haven't had a single moment to jerk yourself and relieve some stress, and hearing those growls only makes you want to jerk even more. Looking down you realize you're drenched in precum. So, you bite the bullet and start stroking yourself, in rhythm with the sound.

You imagine what it would feel like to be dommed by a leather daddy, they weren't on your thoughts much, and here was one right in front of your vicinity, drenched in sweat. With every stroke, you let out a little moan,

stroke,

moan

,stroke,

moan.

The growling stops

You look up

And at foot of your bed

It's me.

Surprised, and a bit embarrassed, you try to cover yourself up. But I hold your hand, reassuring you, that it's ok. I had been thinking of you while jerking off myself. And would really like it to make it a reality, should you want to.

Not wanting to miss such an opportunity, you agree. And to begin, I sit down in front of your bed, and make you straddle on my hips, arms around my neck, with our cocks touching, you're throbbing and leaking at the touch from the frotting, you've really wanted this for so long without realising it.

Gently caressing your hair and kissing you, I ask you if it'd be ok to do something a bit more on the kinkier side of things. You agree.

I lay you on the bed, ass up, and get a couple of belt buckles from my pocket to tie your hands up and prop you in my lap. You feel a bit scared, but I assure you that I was going to take care of you in the best way I could.To relax you a bit, I start with a simple fingering on your ass,

At first, it's just one, it goes in...and out. in..and out, in........ and out.

You moan with each one, your ass is hungry for more, it makes me so glad you're into it, and it gets me even more riled up. You're so. so cute, and so so eager. I utterly love it. A good boy is so hard to come by. Still tied up, I take off the jock I was wearing and put it on your mouth. It's so so sweaty. I start smacking you gently, just enough to make you juggle. With each smack, I stroke your hair and call you a good boy, and how proud I am of you for letting loose and relaxing after such a difficult week, and how much you deserve it. You can't talk back of course due to you being so intoxicated by musk, but I see it in your eyes that you agree. You like being praised. You like being told that you're a good boy, you want to forget all the responsibilities you had, and make this moment last forever. You manage to muffle that you want more, that you want to service me. I'd love for you to do that too, what a good good boy you turned out to be.

Picking you up and laying you in a way that your legs are resting on my shoulders, your hole is eager for my dick after all that fingering and spanking. With a simple push it slides in easily. Pure heaven, With one hand I jerk your dick in rhythmic motion and with the other, I grab your neck gently. With each thrust, I tell you how good you are for taking this so eagerly, you good good boy. We go at it for a while, and with each minute passing, your body gets hotter and hotter, having your ass and dick serviced at the same time. Through the muffled moans, you express that you want to cum. Letting out a little growl, I inform you that I've been holding it in just so I could do it together with you, each thrust getting faster, you can't hold it in no more, and you just let it all out, and feel your hole getting filled while doing it.

Drenched in sweat, I kiss you, you did such a good job, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

The blood comes rushing back to your head, in pure bliss and ecstasy, you thank me. It was nothing .I was just glad our walls are so thin otherwise I wouldn't have known you were jerking off to me to begin with. 😅

Fin

Tell me what you think this took WAY longer to write than I thought bear in mind English is not my first language so writing this much in it is very difficult for me and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know what you think, even if its negative I don't mind.

Imagining sitting on your lap and rubbing against you 🥵 I want to be a good boy for my dom, all wet and wrapped tightly around a dick🥺

I read this on my way to uni and felt myself getting hard in my pants and I'm pretty sure there's a damp spot on my boxer briefs right now... Guess I'm forced to stay horny the whole day before I get back home 🥵