walkingstackofbooks

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It's been my driving force for the last 4000 words of writing, but I think I knew it was always going to come to this eventually... the hair braiding scene is getting cut. So long, cute, fluffy idea. I'm sure you'll find your place in some future fic.

#5+1 visionary fic #writing woes #let's see if i can actually write something today now i've figured out why i couldn't #wsb #personal

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Oh and Julian is so excited and /young/ even in season four about getting to explore the Gamma quadrant. Bless him. ❤️❤️

Too emotionally unconnected to write my fic, so rewatching The Quickening to hopefully induce the DS9 feels.

It's working already and Julian's not even on screen XD The fact that /this/ episode starts with Quark's stupid advertising stunt??? Worf's disgruntlement is great and Kira is flawless in her threatening of Quark 🤣

#ds9 #Writing woes #Wsb

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Too emotionally unconnected to write my fic, so rewatching The Quickening to hopefully induce the DS9 feels.

It's working already and Julian's not even on screen XD The fact that /this/ episode starts with Quark's stupid advertising stunt??? Worf's disgruntlement is great and Kira is flawless in her threatening of Quark 🤣

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TOS rewatch - Conscience of the King

Jim is SO certain that Kodos is dead, isn't he? Or at least, in utter denial that he could be anything else. Ohhhhh.

Gosh, the complete CONTROL he's maintaining as he looks up the information, only stroking his hands anxiously.

"Stop." I spoke too soon - he can't allow the computer to continue to say about the massacre. MY HEART IS ALREADY TOO MUCH.

Jim's description of Tom as "with a very long memory". How much of this has Jim blocked out of *his* memory? He appears to have no recognition of Kodos, which I've never really thought about too much before, but how deep is that memory buried?

(Alternatively - and I have no idea if this would track at all with any other episodes - but aphantasic Kirk?)

The way he smiles at Lenore definitely would add to his reputation if it wasn't obviously a ploy to get to the bottom of this.

I've never thought about the fact that Lenore IS Lady Macbeth, either, killing Kodos' "rivals" for him so that his future is clear. I really feel like I ought to have 😅

OH, and SHE'S like the cat who's got the cream when he suggests they leave, because it's like he's handing himself straight to her - far easier than I imagine she'd have thought it would be to trap a Starship Captain!

"At the party you were such a brash young man" He's more than ten years your senior, Lenore. You've been playing Lady Macbeth too much.

Why did she let him take her so close to her murder? Did she just not realise what direction they had come in until it was too late and then was trying to distract him with a kiss once she realised? I guess she is not exactly a professional with this...

Oh, Jim. It always strikes me how Tom is an actual friend to him, still - he clearly knows Martha, and she knows him.

Jim delighting even at this time in making Spock confused about knowing about the pick-up 🤣❤️

Oh, he has really played her so well, even without knowing that *she's* behind the killing - she totally believes he's just a charming captain who has quite fallen for her charm.... Although I guess he's the same, thinking that she's just Kodos' innocent daughter who's fallen for *his* charm.

And again, his startled-ness at Kevin Riley. I guess there's technically no *reason* why he should have known the other survivors who had seen Kodos? With 4000 survivors, I guess it could have been quite random which ones of them saw Kodos.

Okay, with his orders to Spock to send Kevin back to engineering, Jim has definitely entered "fight" mode, and as tactical as he can be he's not thinking with his whole brain here.

"Did it ever occur to you that he simply might like the girl?" "It occurred. I dismissed it." "You would." I don't know what this is but Bones, Spock, I love you.

SPOCK'S SIGH. THAT WAS A FULL ON GRUMPY HUFF. Oh he is SO worried 💔💔💔

I'm guessing Bones isn't worried only because he hasn't been snapped at by Kirk.

Bones really feels like he's trying to avoid this conversation here - either hecan guess the conclusion Spock's coming to and doesn't want to hear it, or he already knows and is trying to protect himself privacy.

Spock reaches out for Leonard's arm! "Over 4000 people" and he has to reach out to TOUCH Bones. SPOCK 💔💔💔

Oh yeah, I think Bones totally knew already about Tarsus. He didn't know the Karidian connection, definitely, and he maybe didn't know about Riley, but I really think he knew about Jim. He barely reacts to Spock saying Jim's name, already steeling himself not to give away that he knew.

Oh, Riley. "Someone talk to me!" Ohhh, bless.

"Something to reassure me I'm not the only living thing next in the universe." He's so melodramatic I love him XD

The disinfectant into the milk is so jarring!

The way you think he might not drink the milk but then he does! Aghhh. The drama!

Spock needing to physically protect Jim by making him completely informed Vs Bones needing to emotionally protect Jim by letting him have a little longer in ignorance.

Bones backing Spock up - "he's doing his job!"

Spock and Jim telling each other to get out and go! And Spock of course coming back after doing orders.

Well that did seem like a murder attempt for sure.

Kodos barely reacting. I guess he knows the name James Kirk, knows this might have been coming.

The fact that Kodos barely looks at the paper but still keeps up the charade afterwards. Argues with Jim about Kodos' motives but pretends Kodos is another man. And it shouldn't work too dissuade Jim yet it does because Jim has to be *surer* then sure, he can have no room for doubt 💔💔

Seriously, Bones, recording your medical log with such sensitive information out in the open like that?!

I guess being raised by a secretive af Shakespeare actor probably screws up your childhood a whole lot. This Lenore and Karidian scene is so chilling.

Her insistence in finishing the play. Her quoting of Shakespeare over her father's body. It's like Shakespeare was the more real world to her.

How long does it take him to process that Kodos saved his life and died for him. Because fucking hell that is a HELL of a lot.

#Andi watches TOS #The Conscience of the King #This was a long one! #But understandably! #This episode is so wild and like everyone else here I adore it <3 <3 <3 #wsb

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#Oh this is DELIGHTFUL! #Her grin!!!

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I loved Jadzia but I *relate* to Ezri. Didn't want what was thrown at her, unprepared for the horror life could twist into your life, just want people to be okay. Ezri didn't get enough chance to grow and got a lot of hate because she wasn't Jadzia.

Nicole de Boer frankly had an impossible job. Take over Jadzia's place in the cast despite not being same department, but don't be too like her, but still fill her shoes, but still be likeable, but don't feel like you're pandering. I think she did an admirable job and love her.

I think a lot of trekkies hated her for reactionary reasons at the time and I love for the new trekkies who get to see her now, years later, and say, "yeah, same."

#I love her sm ❤️❤️❤️ #I wouldn't want less Jadzia but I also would have LOVED more Ezri

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babe wake up new fic trope just dropped

#XD this is beautiful #It's been years since I Hunger Gamed #But still #👌👌👌

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Incidentally, where exactly are all the Our Man Bashir AUs that treat the holoprogram's reality as actual reality? Like. Okay. What I'm asking here is:

Where are all the fics where Garak is still an Obsidian Order spy and is fulfilling the narrative function of Honey Bear, Julian is working with Starfleet Intelligence as basically James Bond, and Tain is Hippocrates Noah?

Where are the fics where Julian is strapped to a Cardassian torture device and has to seduce Garak into letting him escape, which Garak 100% would because he canonically (I accept it as canon!!!) spared prisoners all the time during his career and he canonically (we've decided this!!!!) is weak to Bashir's fuckboy charms?

Where are all the fics where Garak (Honey) and Julian (Bond) fall in love as enemy agents on Romulus or Bajor or an obscure secret space station hidden inside a moon while a little LED screen on a giant laser ticks down to 0?

#Oooh this would be fun to read! #If you ever write it op let me know! ;)

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Garak was late to lunch that day because he was building a bomb to destroy his shop. He was eating Delavian chocolates while he made it. He saw an assassin and knew for whom the bell tolled, but he still ate his chocolates, and he still went to lunch, just a little late. Because he was making a bomb to blow himself up with.

#Hahaha #He's such a lad

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thinking about the poll about canon vs non-canon ships that didn't define terms, and the current fandom focus on things "going canon," so i made up a scale.

this is NOT a question about whether canon matters to what you ship (or matters at all), just how to define the phrase "canon ship."

many ships start low on the scale and slow burn their way up, so vote for the point when you would have called them "canon." i agonized over the order (especially #4-6) for a day and a half, but i went with the order in which i think joe random with a nielsen ratings box and no tumblr account would notice/call something a romantic relationship.

#I was a little torn over voting for 7 #But no #Voted for 9 - Getting together on screen is definitely canon #Whether or not they last it was at least canon for a bit #Re: 7 - The feelings being textual I guess makes their *feelings* canon but not the relationship #But also my enjoyment does not depend on if a ship is canon or not #Like I would not call Garashir canon but I love it #and as much as it would be fun to be confirmed in like Lower Decks for the lols #Ultimately shipping isn't about that #The only exception is when in current shows the queerbaiting is happening and you know that it would have been canon if it was het #But that's more about wanting good rep than caring about ships “getting to be” canon #And also I guess yeah sometimes I'd like to be able to “see” my ships on screen #but more in the same way as wanting to see my blorbo be horribly tortured and emotionally break on screen #And if I had to choose between the two I'd choose the second :P

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"Sound of Music" DS9/Terok Nor era AU where Dukat hires Kira to look after his 7 children while his wife Athra is off doing her own thing. Dukat thinks playing mother to his children will make Kira fall in love with him, but instead, she turns the children against the Occupation, convinces them to become dissidents, and they all begin helping the Bajoran resistance. At the end, they have to escape the station in the dead of night, and in the final shot, they're all climbing the scenic hills of Bajor on their way to their new home.

In this version, Kira is a failed, undisciplined prylar and Winn approves Dukat's request to take her on as his governess 'cause "how do you solve a problem like Kira?"

#Ooh interesting!

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take a chance on me!

#Oh this is PERFECT #This is so so good!! #I love this so much ❤️❤️❤️

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Okay but what if in Tears of the Prophets, Worf had beamed into the sickbay to say his goodbyes to Jadzia, just as Julian was giving her CPR to revive her one last time.

Worf sees red, thinking that Julian's going in to kiss Jadzia, and throws him violently against the wall. Julian's dazed for a good half-minute, meaning the chance to bring Jadzia back again is lost. Sisko walks in to find Julian shouting furiously at Worf and Worf in return pinning the doctor against the wall.

--

(Do you ever think about the hours in between Jadzia being attacked and the Defiant coming back? Her begging Julian to keep her alive so she can say goodbye to Worf? Julian doing all he can for hours, even as she keeps slipping away from him... but he has to keep bringing her back from the edge, knowing she's going to die anyway, knowing how much pain she's in...)

(Or about Jadzia asking him despite knowing how much it will hurt? But also this is her last chance to say goodbye and she can't just leave Worf without seeing him. And she trusts Julian will get her there.)

(And, of course, he does. But what if he had put in all that work and effort for her and also for *Worf*, just for Worf to ruin it with his 0-100 jealousy?)

(What if Jadzia's last wish to see Worf had been taken away by Worf himself?)

#Jadzia Dax #Julian Bashir #my trek musings #I think I came up with this back when I pretty much despised Worf which i don't anymore #but also i don't think it's a complete character assassination to imagine him doing this #and it is so much fun to imagine the fallout... #ds9 #wsb

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Anxiety is wild.

Someone I haven't interacted with overly much goes out of their way to say something really nice to me, and my brain goes "But what if they don't mean it".

Like, brain, no-one's going to say something like that without meaning it!

My brain: But they must find you annoying because you're you and therefore it's more likely that they hate you but they're just too nice to say it and also feel sorry for you so that's why they said that.

No, no that's not how it works at all. Come on, brain, we learnt about Occam's Razor in year twelve. Simplest explanation: they like the thing you did.

My brain: But that doesn't feel right.

Yeah, no shit it doesn't, because you're fucking anxious! But that doesn't mean everyone up-to-and-including people who are actively nice to you hates you! It just means you don't work properly, brain!

Typing this out has actually made me feel better than just having the argument on repeat in my head though so yay, thanks tumblr ;)

#personal #anxiety #shit's wild yo #i even get this on like comments on fic? #which like /my dude/. stop. #bc i'm super happy and excited to see fic comments and it's so cool that people like it enough to say something #and then out of nowhere: *doubt* #and like seriously brain? people don't leave comments saying something they don't mean #and also it's kind of crappy of you to think that these wonderful people are secretly that sort of duplicitous? #ughhh #(although ofc my brain frames it as 'it's understandable that they don't like you and they're being nice by pretending they do) #anyway #sorry for the emotional dump there but it has helped me take my brain to task so thanks <3

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I genuinely believe that some people could encounter a button that says “if you push this button everyone in the world has the opportunity to live a better life and your life remains exactly the same” and they would not push it.

They’d be like “well that button’s not fair to me, though,” even though there’s literally no other buttons around and nothing newly bad would happen to them if the button was pushed.

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Beyond and Back - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Roundtable [x]

#I'd forgotten about this! #👌👌👌

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Julian gets invited to a Section 31 meet up, and he thinks it's going to be some Bondian cigar-smoking poker game type thing but two hours in, and they're all seated on one of those square overstuffed wrap-around couches, and there's junk food wrappers everywhere, and a couple people are playing Mortal Kombat on a console. Sloan hits the bong next to Julian, who is seated uncomfortably in the corner, and then starts coughing his lungs out before offering Julian a hit. Julian's bored so he does. It's some really cheap shit stuff. Sloan's eyes are bloodshot to hell. He starts giggling at some dumb shit. Everyone's dressed in leather bondage gear except for Julian. Julian wonders wtf has happened that this is his life.

#XD #if he's gonna agree to do this section 31 shit it could at least try to be cool #But no of course it's lame #Why is he even doing this 🤣