#it doesn't help that so much is going on in her life that I've just

[lover-of-mine]

I've been thinking while chilling in the they cast Ryan with a plan delusionland, but specifically what it would take to give Buck the most satisfying love story possible. Because Buck was written as the love interest. His purpose in season 1 is to give something to the main character. And ever since, he's been there to provide something to his love interests even though he's the main character now, he gave Ali a place to stay, he gave Taylor professional advancement (and this one is made worse by her book), he gave Natalia inside information on death, so he's constantly providing things without getting anything substantial in return, much like with Abby and the way that he was just a device to make her feel better about her life. And the main thing here is that Buck is being pursued in order to offer something. He's never the one to go after them, he's the one being chased in a sense, Abby calls him, Ali calls him, Taylor kisses him, Natalia asks him out, Tommy kisses him, so these people want something from him and they take it, most of the time without giving him something in return, Abby forces him to get closure by himself, Ali leaves him because she can't handle the job, where do I even begin with Taylor. So if you think about it, considering the initial way Buck was written, and the way they expanded this to the point that he was literally born to offer something to someone who provided him with nothing (in this case his parents), or the way Maddie shows up because she needs the safety he could provide (I'm not saying Maddie doesn't provide him with anything, I know she does so much for him, but she did show up because she needed a place to hide) his main love interest needs to be someone who's not asking him for stuff. And that's been Eddie since he was introduced. Under Pressure is about Buck choosing Eddie. Eddie tries, but when he realizes Buck is serious about not liking him, he validates Buck's feelings, granted in his sassy way of his, and backs off until he has a chance to give Buck the choice to let him in. You can have my back any day. The phrasing of this is great for the whole Eddie trusts Buck to take care of him, he's not saying he will take care of Buck, he's giving Buck the option of taking care of him. But the thing there is that he puts the choice in Buck's hands. Buck could've walked away. Even Buck's reactions to the way Eddie says it shows a moment where Buck is considering before offering the or you can have mine. The metaphor surrounding the rescue in this context is interesting because while Eddie is choosing Buck right there, he's not forcing Buck to step in. Much like the ambulance, Eddie is offering himself, but he's not forcing anyone to go into the ambulance and risk getting blown up with him. Buck needs to volunteer. And he does.

I know the fandom loves to say Eddie baby trapped Buck, but Buck was the one who took one look at Eddie and said I'm stepping in with you whether you like it or not. Eddie never demanded anything from Buck beyond for Buck to be himself. He never asked for help with Chris, Buck chose to talk to Bobby to clear him being at the station, Buck chose to trick Eddie to offer him help in the form of Carla. Sure, when it's convenient for the plot, Eddie will just decide on things, but like, even the lawsuit of it all, when Eddie is inserting himself into the conflict, Buck is ready to be forced to provide Eddie with something to be forgiven "so whatever it takes for you to forgive me" but Eddie is instantly "I forgive you" because he doesn't need for Buck to prove himself. Over and over again, the show puts Eddie in a position that shows that he just loves Buck. No matter what. He never asked Buck to provide him with something. I think even the will and the way Eddie hides it plays into this. He doesn't want to ask for Buck to do this. Eddie knows Buck will do it, he knows how much Buck loves Chris, but the will reveal is not really about Eddie asking Buck to do something for him, taking care of Chris if he can't because the episode already showed Buck doing that without knowing that was what Eddie wanted, but to give Buck that shock that he does have something to live for, that he matters, that someone loves him. Eddie exists as the person that allows Buck to make his own decisions. He does push back when he thinks Buck needs that push but he doesn't make the choice for him. Even if Buck ever decides to walk away from him, he'll let him if that's what Buck really wants, because ultimately it will be Buck's choice and he respects that. And ultimately, with the archetype they had in mind when they created Buck, that is what Buck needs for him to be in the most satisfying romantic relationship narratively. Buck needs someone who loved him before they were in love with him. And that is the work they have been putting towards buddie since Eddie was introduced. And that's also why Buck is the one who needs to start his endgame relationship. It's never gonna feel right until Buck chooses to do something about it because everything about him is about someone else making the choice.

#just some thoughts #buddie thoughts #911 meta #kinda #911 #thoughts thoughts thoughts #buddie

[calicoheartz]

Request:

Can you make a Paige x reader inspired by from the start by laufey.

Paige adores reader. Their dads have always been good friends. So they were always together when they were younger. (as in the song) Paige is like kinda nervous around reader, not the most confident in herself. And now at UConn she is still all over reader, her confidence has improved but reader is oblivious to her feelings. (So basically a Paige pov, but you can mix it between the two)

Hope u like my request! 💗

𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 ; 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐆𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐒

꣑୧ — summary | you and Paige had been inseparable since the two of you were younger, she's adored you since the day she laid eyes on you. with you oblivious to her feelings, how does she plan on making you see her the way she sees you?

wc ; 1k

— warnings | tiny bit suggestive if u squint , slowburn (?) , friends to lovers !

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : aww this was so sweet to write thank you so much for requesting anon! enjoy besties !

Paige’s POV : 

I have loved y/n since the summer of when i was 13, I had known her for years prior to my quite obvious revelation. 

Our dads had been best friends since university, so it was obvious that once the two of them had children, it was bound that we would be best friends.

I remember the first time I saw her, back when our dads introduced us at one of their weekend get-togethers. She was this bright, confident kid, always ready with a smile and a laugh. I, on the other hand, was the shy one, the one who'd rather dribble a basketball in the corner than join in on the games she loved to play.

Even then, I was drawn to her. I couldn't quite place why, but there was something about her that made my heart race and my palms sweat. She was always so kind, always so patient with me. As the years went by and we grew older, our dads' friendship meant we spent almost every weekend together. It was in those moments, watching you from the sidelines, that I realized I wanted to be more than just friends.

I couldn’t help but be a little envious when she got her first boyfriend, I mean why couldn't she see that I was right in front of her? I listened to all the heartbreaks, all the tears, and it made my heart ache knowing that she doesn't realize how much I truly love her. 

Throughout highschool, the more time i spent with y/n the more my feelings manifested into something i could no longer control, everything she did and said made me nervous. The way her eyes sparkled under the dim lights of the basketball court after practice, the way her laugh echoed in the halls, the way her smile made me weak in the knees. Everything about her was magical, as if a drop of the heavens fell from the sky and somehow adorned her complexion, mesmerizing me every time I saw her. 

Which is why when we both made the commitment to uconn, i knew i was eventually going to have to come clean to her. I couldn’t stand to watch the love of my life slip away between my fingers, and I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I never told her. 

My confidence on the court has soared, and I've found my place here, but when it comes to you, I still feel like that shy girl from our childhood. I wonder if you even notice the way I look at you, the way my breath catches when you laugh, the way I can't help but gravitate towards you whenever we're in the same room.

It was just me and you, in awkward silence.

I mean how hasn't she noticed how I get quiet when there's no one else around? 

But what's a girl to do? Lying on my bed, staring into the blue..

My love for her is driving me a little bit insane, I have to get this off my chest.

I'm telling you today.

Readers POV : 

Paige has always been a part of my life, a constant presence that I sometimes take for granted. Our dads' friendship meant that we were practically inseparable growing up. I remember her as the quiet one, always a bit nervous, always clutching her basketball like it was a lifeline. I liked having her around, though. There was something comforting about her steady presence.

Being at UConn together has been amazing. Watching Paige on the court, seeing her confidence bloom, has been incredible. She's become this powerhouse player, admired by everyone. I'm proud of her, and I make sure to tell her often.

What I don't understand is why she always seems a little flustered around me. I mean, we've known each other forever. There's no reason for her to be nervous, right? I chalk it up to her being busy with basketball and school, but sometimes I catch her looking at me with this intense expression, and it makes me wonder if there's something more.

Paige’s POV : 

Tonight, we're having one of our usual study sessions in my dorm room. I try to focus on my notes, but my eyes keep drifting towards you. You're sitting on my bed, textbooks spread out around you, a determined look on your face. It's moments like these that make me wish I could just tell you how I feel.

"Paige, you okay?" Your voice breaks through my thoughts.

I blink, realizing I've been staring. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

You give me a curious look. "About what?"

I hesitate, the words on the tip of my tongue. "About... us. About how long we've known each other."

You smile, a soft, nostalgic smile. "We've been through a lot, haven't we?"

"Yeah," I agree, my heart pounding. "And there's something I've been meaning to tell you."

You tilt your head, eyes bright with curiosity. "What is it?"

Before I can lose my nerve, I take a deep breath. "I've had feelings for you for a long time. Since we were kids. I was always too scared to say anything, but I can't keep it to myself anymore."

Readers POV : 

I'm stunned. Paige's words hang in the air, and for a moment, I can't believe what I'm hearing. Paige, the girl who's always been there, who I thought I knew so well, has had feelings for me all this time?

"Paige," I start, my voice barely above a whisper. "I had no idea. I..."

Her face falls slightly, and I realize how much this confession has cost her. I reach out, taking her hand in mine. "I never noticed, but now that you've said it... it makes sense. The way you've always been there for me, the way you look at me."

She looks at me with hope in her eyes. "Does this change anything for you?"

I think about it for a moment, then smile. "I think it does. I think it's something we should explore."

Paige's face breaks into a relieved, joyful smile, and for the first time, I see her confidence shine through, not just on the court, but here with me. From the start, we've always been there for each other, and now, we have the chance to turn our story into something even more beautiful.

Paiges POV :

just thinking of you...I know ive loved you from the start.

a/n : mighttttt make a part 2 to this....THIS HEALED MY DEPRESSION WHFBQEHR!! as always, thank u sm for reading !

#wlw #wlw imagine #wcbb #my hcs #wcbb x reader #paige bueckers #paige bueckers x reader #uconn wbb #uconn vs iowa #paige buckets #paige x reader #live laugh love laufey #laufey goddess #laufey #slow burn #friends to lovers

[03jyh23]

— i'm not afraid anymore || choi jongho (the fear still lingers part 2)

<first part> <third part>

ex-boyfriend!idol!jongho x ex-girlfriend!single-mom!reader

synopsis: reuniting after years of being apart, you reveal to Jongho that he is the father of your four-year-old daughter

genre: angst, a slice of life, a bit of fluff

trigger warnings: unplanned pregnancy, single parenthood, financial problems mentioned, emotional conflict, intense discussions about parenthood and relationships

words: 12.8 k

reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! so it's finally out 😭😭😭 i kept you waiting long enough, didn't i? so, i once again wrote about parenthood... i'm sure some of you expected this story to go in a whole other direction, but i still hope this is a nice surprise! i wanted to dedicate this one to @jjongbearshoney, who's been waiting for it since the first part was posted. i know it's long and i've tried to make this part shorter, but i couldn't force myself to delete any of it. i'm hopeful some of you will still choose to read this.

love, monika. ♡

if you enjoyed this post, i'd be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!

you

"Mommy?" Your daughter tightened her grip on your hand as you walked home from preschool. You hummed in response, looking down at her. "Why is it just you and me?" she asked, furrowing her brow. 

"What do you mean, Nari?" your daughter paused; her big eyes filled with fear. "You know you can tell Mommy everything," you added when she hesitated.

"Why don't I have a dad like my friends?" she finally asked. Your heart dropped. You knew this day would come when Nari would start comparing her family to others, but you were unprepared for the moment. You had never discussed Jongho with Nari; the last thing you wanted was for her to hate him for his absence. She had never asked before, so you had hoped that the time would never come when she would become curious about her dad. But as she grew older and started to understand the world around her, you knew that this question was inevitable. 

What you did instead of talking about Jongho, you introduced Nari to ATEEZ. Since she was little, you would play their songs, and she grew up dancing in your arms to them. You two would spend time together, sitting in front of the television and watching their shows. With every episode, every song, and every interview, her admiration for the band continued to grow. It was a shared experience, one that brought you both closer together, and her love for the band grew right along with her. What made everything better was that Nari's favorite member of ATEEZ was Wooyoung. You couldn't help but think about how disappointed Jongho would be if he ever found out. His own daughter had chosen another member as her favorite. It was a thought that often brought a smile to your face.

You never once resented Jongho for choosing his music career over you. You understood that he was born to be on stage, to pour his soul into his music. Your heart was shattered when you two parted ways, but then you discovered you were pregnant with Nari. You knew then that you had to be strong and that you had to be the best mom possible for her. It was challenging, especially when she was born and bore such a striking resemblance to Jongho. It played with your emotions sometimes. 

You knelt to meet her gaze. Her round face, sweet cheeks, and hazel-brown eyes each time reminded you of the man you once loved. 

"Nari, your daddy is really busy," you began, unsure of how to continue the conversation. "But Mommy is sure he loves you very much," you reassured as you smoothed her hair, attempting to smile. "I know your friends' daddies are around." You tried to keep your voice steady, swallowing the lump in your throat. "Just because he's not here, doesn't mean he doesn't love you," you told her, seeking to comfort both her and you. 

With a certain sadness in her eyes, she expressed her wishes, "I'd really like it if he wasn’t so busy all the time," she complained. As she pouted, a wave of empathy washed over you, causing your heart to break for her. 

"I know, baby," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you fought to control the emotion threatening to overwhelm you. "Do you want me to tell you more about your daddy?" you asked softly, ready to share the stories of you two. Nari nodded, and a smile finally appeared on her pretty face. ‘’Alright so we will buy you your favorite ice cream and you can ask whatever you want, how does this sound?’’ Without uttering a word, Nari gently nodded and stretched out her hand towards you. Accepting her silent invitation, you felt the warmth of her delicate fingers in yours. As you walked hand in hand, you could see the excitement in her eyes as she pulled you in the direction of her most adored destination - her favorite local ice cream store. 

Entering the store, you ordered the ice cream and chose a seat next to the window. A sense of nervousness washed over you at the thought of speaking so openly about Jongho after all those years. But you knew deep down, it was time to face it. You took a deep breath, staring out the window as you waited for your order. The streets were busy with people going about their day. The ice cream arrived, a sweet distraction, but it did nothing to quell the anxiety churning in your stomach. You picked up your spoon and took the first bite, letting the familiar taste flood your senses. 

"Tell Mommy, what do you want to know?" you finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over the small store. You held your breath, waiting for her reply, bracing yourself for the questions that were bound to come from your curious four-year-old. Nari thought for a moment, her small brow furrowing in concentration. 

"Everything," she finally said, her voice soft, eyes sparkling with curiosity. "I want to know everything." You chuckled at her response; it was moments like these that made motherhood such an incredible journey. You took her small hand in yours, 

"I met your dad at a coffee shop," you started, your voice filled with nostalgia."It was a warm summer afternoon, just like today. He walked in, and when I saw him, it was as if time had stopped for that moment." 

Nari was thoroughly enjoying her lemon ice cream as she continued to savor her treat, she curiously glanced over at you. She wondered if her dad also shared her love for this dessert. With a playful smile still smeared on her ice cream-covered lips, she asked, "Did he order ice cream?" 

You giggled at her question, "No, I think he ordered an iced americano." You remember the day as if it was yesterday. Jongho had ordered and chose to sit at the furthest table possible. You were sitting close to the cash desk, stealing glances at him sometimes, admiring him. He was writing something in a big notebook, so engrossed that he didn't hear the barista calling him to pick up his order. So, you decided to test your luck and brought his coffee to him. As you approached him, your heart pounded in your chest. It was as though you could hear it echoing throughout the quiet café. You set the coffee down gently on his table, not wanting to disturb his concentration. Startled, he looked up and locked eyes with you. His eyes were warm and inviting, a soft 'thank you' escaping his lips. You returned the sentiment with a shy smile, not trusting yourself to say anything. 

"Why would he order coffee when he could have an ice cream?" Nari asked, finding it strange that someone would choose coffee over ice cream. 

"Your dad is a little bit different, Nari," you said, smiling gently. "He really loved his coffee. He said it helped him think and focus. But don't worry, he loved ice cream too. Just like you, he had a sweet tooth." 

"Will Daddy buy me ice cream next time?" she asked as she was finishing her dessert. 

"I'm sure he would love to," you replied, smiling at her. "One day, if he's not too busy, I'm sure he'll take you to get ice cream. Would you like that?" Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes lighting up at the prospect. Just the thought of spending a day with her dad made her heart flutter with joy. You knew what needed to happen next. You had to create an opportunity for her to meet Jongho. Even though it might hurt, Nari should meet her dad at least once. Her happiness was most important. You knew you needed to put your own feelings aside for her. This next step might be hard and painful, but as her mom, you knew it was what you should do. 

"Then Mommy will make sure Daddy will take you next time," you promised, your heart aching at the hopeful look in her eyes. You would do whatever it took to give her the happiness she deserved. 

On your way back home, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. This heartfelt conversation with Nari had helped clear your mind. Finally talking about the man, you loved brought you a strange sense of nostalgia, yet you also felt content. After all these years, you have finally been able to share your story, your feelings, and your past with your daughter. It was as if a burden you didn’t even know you were carrying had been lifted from your shoulders. The walk home was peaceful, the cool evening breeze brushing against your face as the last rays of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of pink and orange. 

In no time, you reached your apartment complex. Nari was running around the playground with the neighbor's puppy chasing after her. She was the sweetest creature. She was fascinated by the world, loved animals, and her soul was just so pure. You felt an immense amount of happiness to be her mom. 

"Grandma!" Nari exclaimed, her face lighting up with sheer joy the moment she spied her grandma approaching from a distance. Upon arrival, your mother warmly greeted Nari with a tender embrace. After a moment, they both made their way over to where you were standing. You were taken aback, surprised to see your mother in your presence without any prior notice. 

With a puzzled expression, you turned towards her and asked, "Mom, why didn't you tell me you were coming?" 

"I wanted to see you and Nari," your mother admitted, her voice warm. You could see the sincerity in her eyes. You could feel the lump forming in your throat as you listened to her. It was a comforting reassurance, knowing you weren't alone in this. "And I hoped I would be welcomed for dinner," she said with a playful tone in her voice while gently placing Nari on the ground. A glint of laughter shone in her eyes.

"Absolutely," you responded, your smile wide and welcoming. The sincerity in your voice was enough to assure her that the invitation was genuine. You reached down and took one of Nari's small hands in yours, feeling the softness of her tiny fingers against your palm. Your mom mirrored your action, reaching for Nari's other hand, her fingers wrapping around the little one's hand with a natural gentleness. For a moment, the three of you stood there, a small, connected chain, silent and content in each other's company. Then, with Nari's laughter filling the air around you, you all began to move, making your way to your small apartment. The moment was simple, yet filled with a warmth that spoke of familiarity, of home. 

You finally reached your floor and stepped into the comforting familiarity of your apartment. As the door closed behind you, a wave of relief washed over you. This was your sanctuary, your escape from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Your apartment was small, with one room occupied by Nari, and a combined living room and kitchen where you also slept. The bathroom was big enough to fit a bathtub and a washing machine. It was far from perfect, but nobody truly knows how hard it is to be a single mom, barely making ends meet, especially when you were still so young. Sometimes, you felt ashamed of the way you lived your life, as you wanted Nari to grow up in a better place, a home with a beautiful garden and a seesaw. But you could barely afford this apartment, buying a new house was never an option. So, you took a lot of care to ensure that your apartment was always neat and clean. Every item had its own place, and there was a sense of order and tranquility that pervaded the space. 

You found Nari, tired yet excited from the day's activities, eagerly awaiting your attention. With gentle hands and a warm smile, you took her to her room and helped her change into more comfortable clothes. Nari’s room was everything she had ever dreamed of. It was her own little wonderland that mirrored her innocent dreams and youthful enthusiasm. All her favorite toys were thoughtfully displayed around the room, adding to its charm and making it a truly magical place for her. The toys ranged from dolls to action figures, to stuffed animals, each one with its own special place in Nari’s heart. The most striking feature of the room was her small bed, adorned with a beautiful canopy. This bed was more than just a place for her to rest; it was her castle, her secret hideout. It was here that Nari would sleep like a real princess, after a day full of adventures and playful activities. Guarding her while she slept were her loyal teddy bears. These soft and cuddly guardians were always there by her side, watching over her. They were not just toys, but her friends, and protectors. Nari even made you print out a picture of Wooyoung, which she lovingly framed and placed on her tiny desk. It became her most prized possession. Every detail in the room reflected Nari’s personality and vivid imagination, making it a perfect haven for her. 

As Nari settled down, you decided to play her favorite Disney movie. The familiar tunes filled the room, and Nari's eyes lit up at the sight of her beloved characters. While Nari was engrossed in her movie, you made your way to the kitchen. Your mom has already started preparing your meal. The sight of her working her magic in the kitchen, coupled with the tantalizing smells, made your stomach rumble in anticipation. 

"So, Nari asked about her dad today," you started, your voice barely above a whisper. As the words left your mouth, your mother froze in her place. Her eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and concern in her gaze. The room fell silent, the only sound being the sizzle from the pan on the stove. "Mom, I feel lost. I don't know what to do," you confessed, your voice trembling with uncertainty. 

"Do you want them to meet, honey?" your mom asked. Her gaze was steady, her eyes never leaving yours. She was searching for an answer, not just in your words, but also in your expression. There was a hint of concern in her voice which was understandable. After all, it was a significant moment, a decision that could change the dynamics of everything. You hesitated for a moment, weighing the possibilities in your mind. You could feel your mom's expectant gaze on you, and it somehow made the decision harder. 

After what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke. "Yes, mom. I want them to meet." Your voice was firm, but inside, you were bracing yourself for the changes that were about to come. Your worlds were about to collide, your secrets were about to unravel, and you could only hope that in the end, everything would fall into place. "But I don't want him to know that Nari is his," you admitted shyly. There was a moment of silence as you pondered over your words.

"Honey, I know you might be scared, but I believe it's high time he found out the truth," she said, her voice softer now, yet resolute and unwavering. She cast a glance down at her hands, her fingers intertwined, and when she looked up at you again, there was a raw determination in her eyes that you hadn't seen before. "He needs to know that he has a daughter. That he's a father. It's not just about you anymore, it's also about Nari. She will be 4 soon and deserves to know her father. It's time for you to step up and let him in on the reality of his situation." 

"I'm not going to tell him, Mom," you replied firmly, your resolve clear in your tone. "I wouldn't risk Jongho's career like that," you said, speaking more to yourself than your mother. "I was prepared to spend a lifetime without him knowing the truth." Despite the fear and uncertainty, a sense of resolve washed over you. Your mom sighed heavily; you know it wasn’t the response she wanted to hear. 

"Even if you somehow end up meeting him, do you think he's stupid?" she asked abruptly. Her question was unexpected, and it caught you off guard. 

"What do you mean?" you responded, taken aback by the sudden change in her tone and line of questioning. 

"One look at Nari, and he's going to know the truth!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with conviction. "Nari looks exactly like him!" your mom slightly raised her voice. "I have never seen Jongho with my own eyes, but even if my judgment is based only on how he looks on TV… Honey, her eyes, her smile... they are all his," she continued, the room fell silent, you were lost in your own thoughts. You knew that the resemblance was not just physical, Nari had also inherited his mannerisms and charisma. 

"I... I hadn't thought of that," you admitted, feeling a sudden knot tighten in your stomach. The realization that Jongho could easily figure out the truth was alarming. "I'll figure something out, Mom. I promise." You said, trying to reassure her despite the sinking feeling in your chest. 

"If you don't have his phone number, maybe you should contact his company?" your mother suggested, her voice filled with concern. You stared at her, aghast at her suggestion. 

"Mom, are you crazy? That's the last thing I'd want to do," you retorted, shaking your head at the absurdity of the idea. 

Your mother's eyebrows rose in surprise at your response. "Well, I was just trying to help," she said, a hint of hurt in her voice. 

You sighed, regretting your harsh words. "I know, Mom. I'm sorry. It's just... complicated," you admitted, rubbing your temples. The last thing you wanted was to involve his company in this matter. 

"Let's just try to find another way, okay?" you suggested, hoping to steer the conversation toward a more productive direction. You focused on the task at hand, the act of cooking providing a much-needed distraction from the whirlpool of thoughts threatening to consume you. Each chop and stir was mechanical, your mind elsewhere. You were desperate to find a way to let Nari meet Jongho but figuring out how to do that without jeopardizing his career or causing a scandal was proving to be more difficult than you had initially anticipated. 

After dinner, you helped Nari with her bedtime routine. Meanwhile, your mom was busy cleaning up after dinner. While assisting Nari, you could hear running water from the kitchen and clinking dishes being put away. With Nari finally tucked in, you joined your mom in the kitchen to lend a hand. The teamwork made the task lighter, and the kitchen was soon spotless. 

"Take her to his concert, you could buy a VIP ticket so you two could meet him." your mom suddenly broke the silence between you two. You looked up at her in surprise. A concert? The idea was so far-fetched that you couldn't help but laugh. But as you glanced at your mother, you realized she was serious. "Think about it. She gets to see her dad and you don’t have to say anything," she suggested, the idea not sounding as ridiculous now. It might work. And then, you could see how he reacts to Nari. If he shows any sign of recognition, you could consider telling him the truth. Yes, it might just work."Besides, we know how much she loves her 'Uncle' Wooyoung, and I'm sure she would be so happy to go and see him live," your mom added. 

"That idea isn't bad, Mom, but do you know how expensive the tickets are? There's no way I can afford two," you replied, worry evident in your voice. Concert tickets, especially for a band as popular as ATEEZ, could be incredibly pricey. You were doing your best to provide for Nari, but luxuries like concert tickets were simply out of your reach. 

"What if I will get you the tickets?" your mom asked. You stared at her, shocked by her proposition. Your mom rarely splurged on anything, always preferring to save for a rainy day. Seeing your surprise, she laughed. "I know it seems out of character for me, but I want to do this for you and Nari. I want her to have this experience, and maybe it will lead to something more." She gave you a hopeful smile, her eyes filled with love and determination. 

"Mom, I can't ask you for so much…" you protested, feeling a pang of guilt at the thought of your mother paying for the tickets. "It's too much." But your mom was already shaking her head, cutting off your protest. 

"This isn't about money, it's about Nari," she said firmly. "And if this gives her a chance to meet her father, then it's worth every penny." You could see the determination in her eyes, and you knew there was no point in arguing. She had made up her mind, and when she did, there was no changing it. 

"Okay," you finally agreed, knowing that this was the best chance Nari had to meet Jongho. "Thank you, Mom." She simply nodded, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and satisfaction. You realized then that despite everything, your mom was still looking out for you. She was still willing to do anything to make sure you and Nari were happy. Your heart pounded in your chest as you took your phone in your hands, searching for ATEEZ events. You scrolled through the results, your eyes skimming the details. Suddenly, one specific event caught your attention. It was a free event, happening in just two days. You gasped, your eyes widening in surprise. A free event? 

"Mom? I think we hit a jackpot," you smiled, as you showed your mom your phone. 

"A free event?" she exclaimed, happily clapping her hands. You were taken aback by her reaction but couldn't help but share in her excitement. You hugged her tightly, her happiness radiating onto you. You picked up your phone once again, and quickly booked the free tickets. With a deep sigh, you turned to your mother, gently taking her hands in yours.

"I'm going to see him, Mom," you whispered softly. The words hung heavy in the air, a mix of fear, anticipation, and longing. It was as if all the pent-up emotions you had been holding back came flooding out at that moment. Tears finally began to stream down your face, unabashed and unhindered. They traced wet tracks on your cheeks, a poignant testament to the heartfelt emotions you were experiencing. It was a cathartic release that revealed your true feelings. Your heart ached with a desperate longing, a yearning that had been simmering underneath the surface all this time. The lump in your throat eased, replaced with a strange sense of tranquility. All the nervousness, the apprehension that had been your constant companion, seemed to have evaporated. It was as if acknowledging your feelings had liberated you from their hold, allowing you to finally breathe. The realization hit you then, sudden and profound. You were going to see Jongho, the man you had loved with all your heart, once more. The thought brought a twinge of excitement, a dash of fear, and a whole lot of love. It was a second chance, a final goodbye, a moment you knew you would remember for the rest of your life. 

Two days have passed like two hours. It felt like you had just blinked and suddenly, you were standing with Nari, hand in hand, in a line buzzing with anticipation. You were nervous, your heart pounding in your chest. Nari, on the other hand, was brimming with excitement. She was bubbling with joy at the prospect of seeing her 'Uncle' Wooyoung, blissfully unaware of the real reason you were both there. The line moved forward gradually and with each step, your heart pounded harder. You glanced at Nari, who was chatting away excitedly about all the fun things she'd do with Wooyoung. Her innocence and cheerfulness were infectious, easing your nerves slightly. As you got closer to the front of the line, you could see ATEEZ up ahead, their warm smiles greeting each fan. 

And then you saw Jongho, being the second to last, signing an album and holding a fan's hand while he did so. His focus was entirely on the task at hand, his brows slightly furrowed in concentration. He would occasionally look up to make eye contact with the fan, offering them a warm smile. It was as though your world had stopped. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding as if it were trying to escape from your chest. It had been almost five years since you last saw him. He had changed - his face was more mature, his eyes held a deeper wisdom, and the lines of his smile seemed to tell stories you weren't a part of. Yet, amidst all the changes, he was still the same Jongho you remembered, the same Jongho you had fallen for. The distance and the years that had passed had not made your heart forget. The sight of him brought back a flood of memories, some sweet, some bitter, but all precious. Standing there, seeing him after all this time, you realized – you were not afraid anymore. You were ready to face him, ready to face the past. 

When it was finally your turn, you gently nudged Nari forward. Her face lit up when she saw Wooyoung. She quickly seated herself in a chair across from the table where he was sitting. Then, she stood on the chair, stepped onto the table, and her hands swiftly found their way around Wooyoung's neck. Wooyoung was startled at first, taken aback by Nari's sudden, enthusiastic hug. You were shocked too, having no time to react to Nari's swift actions. But your breath hitched when Wooyoung recovered from his initial surprise and smiled, hugging Nari back. The atmosphere quickly filled with warmth as Wooyoung returned Nari's hug with equal affection. The surprise on his face was replaced by a soft smile, his arms wrapping around her in a comforting embrace. You watched this heartfelt moment unfold, your heart fluttering in your chest. The shock from earlier had completely dissipated, replaced by a sense of relief and happiness. It was clear to you that despite the abruptness of Nari's actions, Wooyoung was happy to hug her back. 

"Hi there, little one," he greeted with a warm smile on his face. 

"Uncle Wooyoung!" Nari responded kindly, her laughter tinkling in the air as she beamed back at him. The sight was enough to melt your heart. However, your moment of joy was short-lived as you noticed the stern look from the security guard. His gaze was fixed on your daughter, clearly annoyed with her actions. Although you understood his perspective, it was hard to stop a child from being excited in such moments. You quickly intervened, trying to maintain the peace. You gently took Nari from Wooyoung's warm embrace and brought her back to her chair. She pouted a little, clearly not happy about being moved away from her favorite person. 

"I'm sorry," you apologized, turning to face Wooyoung. Wooyoung simply shook his head and laughed, clearly not bothered by what had just happened.

"It's okay," he said, his voice filled with understanding. You handed him the album that you had brought along, as he took it from your hands to sign it, Nari put her small hand on top of Wooyoung’s. 

"My name is Nari," she said, a soft yet firm assertion that hung in the air between them. Her gaze was unwavering, locked onto his face as if searching for something within him, something perhaps only she could see. After signing the album, Wooyoung handed it back to you. 

"It was nice to meet you, Nari," he said, a genuine smile as he gently patted Nari's hair. 

"Nari, it's time to go," you softly announced, lifting the small girl into your arms, there were still other members of the band you had yet to meet. Nari, however, was not so ready to move on. She pouted adorably; her full attention still fixed on Wooyoung. 

"I love you, Uncle Wooyoung," she declared, her innocent eyes wide and shimmering with admiration. Every word she spoke was filled with the pure, unfiltered affection that only a child could muster. Wooyoung, for his part, responded with an equal measure of warmth. His eyes softened at her words, a tender smile playing at the corners of his lips. He cooed at her cuteness; his heart clearly touched by her innocent proclamation. 

"I love you too, Nari," he replied, his voice filled with genuine affection. He waved back at her, his smile never faltering even as the next fan made their approach. As you moved away, you felt a sense of anticipation bubbling up within you. You were ready to introduce Nari to the rest of the band, ready to create more beautiful memories. Nari was thrilled to meet the other band members. Perhaps not as much as she was when she met Wooyoung, but she still charmed each and every one of them with her delightful spirit. Seonghwa, Mingi, Yunho, Yeosang, and San were all absolutely enchanted by their little fan, their hearts melting at the sight of her infectious joy. 

Then, it was time to face Jongho. As you approached him, your heartbeat echoed loudly in your ears. A lump formed in your throat, making it difficult to breathe. The world seemed to come to a standstill as you stood before him. His familiar eyes met yours, and in that moment, everything else faded into insignificance. 

"Hi…" The word was barely more than an apprehensive whisper, escaping from Jonhgo's lips. His gaze was fixed on you, a whirlpool of emotions swirling within his eyes. It had been almost five years since he had last seen you. Yet, as he looked at you now, it was as if time had stood still. You were still as beautiful, if not more, as the last time he saw you. Your enchanting smile and the mesmerizing glint in your eyes had the power to make his heart stutter within his chest. 

"I'm sorry to be showing up like this," you said, your voice carrying the weight of your uncertainty. You had rehearsed this moment countless times in your head, and yet now, standing in front of him, the words seemed to escape you. You sat down on the chair, passing him the album. 

"It’s fine… it’s so good to see you," Jongho responded, each word punctuated with sincerity. At that moment, he felt as if the world around him had melted away. All that mattered was you. His eyes were lost in yours, completely oblivious to the world around him. It was as if an invisible thread was pulling him towards you, making him oblivious to everything else. 

"I just…" you started, the words hanging in the air. But before you could give them shape, a small voice chimed in. 

‘’Hi Uncle Jongho! You are my Mommy's favourite’’ Nari greeted him with a wide grin spreading across her face, she cautiously yet excitedly maneuvered herself into your lap. Her eyes sparkled with uncontained joy as she looked up, her gaze meeting Jongho's, who was across the table, her smile growing even wider, if that was possible, at the sight of him. 

"Hi, little one! Well, your mom has great taste!" Jongho responded, his words laced with surprise. He hadn't expected this. 

"I really like your songs," the little girl confessed with an earnest expression. "Mommy told me that you're a good person and that we could be friends." The words hit Jongho like a punch in the gut. The realization that you had a daughter began to dawn on him. He quickly glanced at your fingers, searching for a wedding ring, but found none. Jongho's heart sank as a lump formed in his throat, his mind racing to piece together the puzzle before him. You weren't married, nor engaged, and the little girl nestled on your lap couldn't have been more than four years old. It didn't take long for him to make the connection— you must have been pregnant five years ago, and five years ago you were his. 

"I’m sure we will be great friends," Jongho replied, trying to keep his voice steady. His gaze never left yours, even as he addressed Nari. Jongho's eyes slowly drifted away from yours, lingering for a moment before he turned to look at Nari. He took his time, observing her closely. There was something about her that caught his attention. He couldn't help but see the resemblance - something in the way her eyes sparkled, the curve of her smile. As you were sitting with Nari in your lap, you couldn't help but notice Jongho's gaze fixed on her. His eyes were filled with adoration and curiosity, something that you found endearing. Gently, you shifted Nari off your lap. You took her small hand in yours, 

"Nari," you started, your voice as soft as a whisper, careful not to disrupt the lively chatter around you. Her big, innocent eyes looked up at you, her attention completely focused on you. "Would you wait for me next to the last uncle's table?" you asked her. Your tone was gentle, Nari simply nodded, her trust in you evident. She didn't ask why, didn't protest, she trotted off, her steps small and careful. Jongho's gaze was still on her, his eyes filled with the same adoration as before. The sight warmed your heart, solidifying the beautiful moment in your memory. 

"Is she mine?" The question was out in the open before he could stop himself. Jongho’s heart was pounding against his ribcage, and his hands were trembling, but he couldn't ignore the uncanny resemblance. 

"Jongho I…" you started but were quickly interrupted by Jongho's direct question. 

"She's mine, isn't she?" you feel your cheeks flush as you investigate Jongho's eyes, unsure of how to respond. Your heart beats faster as you gather the courage to answer him. 

"She's yours, Jongho," you finally admitted, the truth coming out in a whisper. All the color drained from his face at your words. He was a father. He had a daughter. His mind was reeling, struggling to process the enormity of what he had just learned. "I found out a month after we broke up" you confessed, your words barely a whisper. The weight of your words was almost too much to bear, and you found it impossible to meet his intense gaze. 

"Y/N, you know I can’t..." Jongho began, his voice was heavy with unspoken emotions. His hand, almost as if guided by an unseen force, reached out for you in a gesture of comfort and longing. 

"I just wanted her... our little girl, to see her dad, to meet you, at least once in her lifetime," you admitted, your voice shaking with the effort of holding back the torrent of tears threatening to spill. "I don’t expect anything in return." Jongho simply stared at you in silence, his expression unreadable. His gaze was intense, almost as if he was trying to read your thoughts. 

"I'll need some time to process this," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. The silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the air palpable. But for the first time in years, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. The truth was finally out, and despite the complexity of the situation, you felt a strange sense of peace. 

"I understand, Jongho, I don't expect anything form you," you replied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. You knew this was a lot for him to take in. It wasn't easy for you either, but you were glad that he now knew about Nari. 

"Hey Nari!" You heard Jongho's voice asking for your daughter's attention. "Wouldn't you give me a hug?" Nari, who had been watching the exchange from a distance, hesitated for a moment before making her way towards Jongho. His smile widened as he crouched down to her level, opening his arms wide for her. Nari ran into his embrace, wrapping her small arms around his neck. Jongho held her close, his heart swelling with an indescribable emotion. As the security guard began to usher you away, a pang of regret washed over Jongho. Seeing you hustled away, Jongho felt a surge of urgency. He yearned to reach out, to clasp your hand and never release it, but time was eluding him. 

"Wait!" Jongho's desperate voice echoed as he stepped forward, stretching a hand towards you. But it was too late, you were already moved to Hongjoong’s table. Jongho slumped back into his seat, engulfed by defeat. He had let you slip through his grasp again, and now he was worried that he might never rectify his mistake. As he sat, absorbed in his thoughts, the image of Nari's innocent face haunted him. She resembled him so much with her broad eyes and radiant smile, yet she was a stranger—a reminder of the life he missed and the family he never knew he had. Engrossed in his thoughts, Jongho barely registered the next fan asking for an autograph. His thoughts were occupied by you and the daughter he never knew existed. As he autographed the fan's album, Jongho wondered if there was still hope for you and him, if perhaps fate might reunite them one day. 

As you approached Hongjoong's table with Nar, your heart raced with a mix of apprehension and resentment. You couldn't shake the memories of your last encounter, the painful words he had spoken, and the role he had played in driving you and Jongho apart. Hongjoong looked up from signing autographs, his expression unreadable as he locked eyes with you. There was a flicker of recognition in his gaze, followed by a hint of guilt that he quickly masked with a polite smile. 

"Hello," Hongjoong greeted you, his voice carefully neutral. "It's been a while." you forced a tight smile, your hands trembling slightly as you returned his greeting. 

"Yes, it has," you replied, her voice strained with tension. There was a palpable awkwardness between you two, as Hongjoong catches sight of Nari standing beside you, his eyes widen in surprise. There's an unmistakable resemblance between Nari and Jongho—the same sparkling eyes, the same dimpled smile—that sends a pang of nostalgia coursing through Hongjoong's heart. Nari beams up at Hongjoong, her innocence and warmth melting away any lingering tension in the air. 

"Hi Uncle Hongjoong!" she chirps, reaching out to shake Hongjoong's hand with childlike enthusiasm. As Hongjoong exchanges a few more pleasantries with Nari, you can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at the back of your mind. With a quick 'thank you' to Hongjoong, you took Nari in your arms and quickly made your way towards the exit. You didn't dare to look back, your heart pounding in your chest. As you walked away, you couldn't help but wonder if Hongjoong had made the connection. But it didn't matter anymore. You had done what you had come here to do. Nari had finally met her dad, and Jongho now knew about her existence. What would happen next was out of your hands. 

As you exited the venue, you could feel a sense of relief washing over you. The heavy burden that had been weighing on your heart for years was now lifted. You glanced at Nari, her face filled with joy and excitement, her eyes sparkling with pure innocence. You couldn't help but feel a sense of love and pride. Despite everything, you knew in your heart that you had made the right decision.  

jongho 

After what felt like an eternity, the fan meeting ended. Jongho's mind still reeling from the shock. He found himself rushing backstage into the tranquility of the dressing room that he shared with Hongjoong. He withdrew to a corner, away from the others, needing to be alone with his tumultuous thoughts. Images of Nari's face swirled in his mind, her innocent smile seared into his memory. He wrestled with a whirlwind of questions, his brain struggling to process the reality of his newfound fatherhood. 

"Why didn't you try to contact me?" He asked the empty room, his voice barely a whisper. The question echoed off the walls, a haunting reminder of the years he had missed. "Didn't I have a right to know sooner?" His voice broke as he voiced the question, the hurt evident in his tone. He was a father, but he had been oblivious to that fact for years. The knowledge filled him with a potent mix of joy and anguish. Joy at the thought of being a father, and anguish at the years he had missed, the moments he would never get back. The room felt suffocating, the silence deafening as the reality of the situation slowly sank in. He missed out on so much. He missed seeing you pregnant, a sight he was sure would have been beautiful. He missed being there for you when you were feeling sick when you needed him the most. He missed the birth of Nari, missed holding your hand through the labor. He missed her first tooth, her first steps, her first words. He even missed her first day of school. All these milestones in Nari's life, and he wasn't there for any of them. A sense of loss washed over him, a regret for all the moments he had missed, moments he could never get back. Jongho was alone, filled with anger. He felt betrayed, kept in the dark about his own daughter all these years. He was furious at everyone, including himself. His hands clenched into fists as he grappled with the reality of missed opportunities to be a father. 

As Hongjoong entered the dressing room, he could sense the storm of emotions raging within Jongho. The usually lively and cheerful atmosphere of the room was replaced by a heavy silence. Jongho was seated alone, lost in his thoughts. The look on his face was one of confusion and shock, a stark contrast to his usual cheerful demeanor. 

"Jongho..." Hongjoong began, hoping to break the silence. His voice was gentle, not wanting to startle his friend. Jongho looked up, his eyes meeting Hongjoong's. There was a vulnerability in Jongho's eyes that tugged at Hongjoong's heart. He knew Jongho needed to talk, to let out all the emotions that were bottled up inside him. 

"I know you have a lot on your mind because of Y/N showing up," Hongjoong said, taking a seat next to Jongho. His voice was soft, understanding. "And I'm here to listen, whenever you're ready to talk about this." His words hung in the air, offering a sense of comfort and support to Jongho. 

"I'm surprised you even remember her," Jongho scoffed, the hurt evident in his voice. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions and memories, all coming back at once. Breaking the silence that hung heavily in the room, Hongjoong finally voiced the question that had been lingering in everyone's minds, 

"Y/N's a mom now, how does it make you feel?" Hongjoong's voice was gentle, and cautious, as if he was afraid of shattering the fragile peace that had momentarily settled over them. He was aware that he was treading on thin ice, yet he also knew this was a conversation that needed to be held. 

"I don’t know" Jongho's voice broke, the words he needed to confess stuck in his throat. He needed to admit that he was the father, but he couldn't find the words. The situation was too raw, too fresh. He was scared to say it out loud. 

"Her daughter, she looks a bit like you," Hongjoong said gently, his gaze falling on his friend. "She has your eyes... your smile." As he spoke, Hongjoong's hand found its way to Jongho's shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze. It was his way of encouraging Jongho, of letting him know that he wasn't alone in this.

Jongho finally broke down. His voice was barely a whisper as he admitted, "Because she's mine." His hands covered his face, trying to hide the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. His body trembled with the intensity of his emotions, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. "That night... when you told me to break up with Y/N, I..." He paused, struggling to find the right words. "I thought I was doing the right thing, for both of us." The memory of that night came rushing back to him, the pain, the confusion, the regret. He felt as though he was reliving that moment all over again. 

Hongjoong remained silent, listening to Jongho's confession. He could see the pain etched on his friend's face, the regret in his eyes. "Jongho, I..." he began, but Jongho cut him off. 

"I trusted you," Jongho continued, his voice choked with emotion. "I trusted you, and I let her go. But now... now I have found out that I have a daughter. A daughter that I didn't even know existed because I wasn't there for her... because I wasn't there for Y/N." His voice cracked the guilt and regret overwhelming him. "I missed out on so much because of that decision... because of you." Tears kept streaming down Jongho's face as he sobbed, he had lost so much - his love, his child, years of being a father - all because of a decision made years ago. And now, he didn't know how to deal with this overwhelming wave of regret and loss. "I don't know what to do," Jongho whispered, his eyes welling up with unshed tears. The weight of the revelations and the depth of his emotions were too much to bear. His heart felt heavy in his chest, the pain nearly unbearable. He felt lost, unsure of how to navigate the storm of emotions within him. The anger, the hurt, the betrayal... it was all too much. And yet, amidst all of that, there was also a profound sense of love; love for a child he had never known, but already cared for deeply. "What do I do now?" he asked, looking up with pleading eyes, desperate for guidance and a roadmap to navigate this new reality. Hongjoong was at a loss for words. He could see the pain in Jongho's eyes and feel the regret that filled the air around them.

"Jongho, I... I didn't know. I thought I was doing what was best for you. For your career. I never meant for this to happen," he finally managed to say, his voice filled with regret. But words were just words, and no apology could erase the years Jongho had lost. 

"When I hugged Nari, it was like love just hit me with the power of a train," Jongho continued, his gaze fixed on Hongjoong. "I couldn't believe she's mine. The moment she was in my arms, I felt this overwhelming urge to break down, to cry and apologize for not being there from the start. Y/N's been doing that all alone, Hongjoong," Jongho cried out, his voice choked with emotion. "I wasn't there... I didn't know... The pregnancy, the birth, and then raising a daughter... She has been all alone." His voice broke in the last words, the heart-wrenching reality hitting him hard. 

"Jongho, don’t blame yourself, you didn't know," Hongjoong finally spoke up, his voice filled with understanding and sympathy. "You still have a chance to make it right." 

"How am I supposed to make it right?" Jongho asked, his voice filled with desperation and confusion. "Only you knew about Y/N. I've never told the rest of the boys, nor the managers, nothing... How am I supposed to make it work now?" His words hung heavy in the air for a moment, the weight of his predicament settling in. Jongho looked down, a mix of frustration and despair etched on his face. "Maybe it's too late... Maybe I've already lost my chance." He murmured, the hopelessness in his voice echoing through the room. His heart ached at the thought of missing out on his daughter's life, all the moments he could have been there for her. 

"We'll find a way," Hongjoong said firmly, his voice tinged with determination. "We'll talk to the managers, to the members... We'll figure it out together." 

"What if Y/N doesn't want me in her life again?" Jongho asked, the fear in his voice almost palpable. The thought of you rejecting him, of not wanting him in your life anymore, terrified him. The silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the air palpable. 

"Jongho, Nari is your daughter," Hongjoong finally said, his voice steady and determined. "And regardless of what happened between you and Y/N, from now on she will always be a part of your life. You need to talk to Y/N, to understand her perspective and express your feelings. This is not only about Nari, but it's also about you and Y/N, about the life you could have together." After wiping away the last of his tears, Jongho took a deep breath, steadying himself. He knew what he had to do next.

"I need to reach out to Y/N," he said to himself, determination filling his voice. 

"Do you still have her number?" Hongjoong asked. Jongho nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found your name. He hesitated for a moment before showing the screen to Hongjoong. 

"But it's been five years... She could have changed it," Jongho voiced out his concern, the uncertainty clear in his voice. 

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try?" Hongjoong asked, smiling at Jongho. Jongho looked back at Hongjoong, his expression unreadable. There was a long pause before he finally nodded, his gaze determined.

"You're right," he said, "It doesn't hurt to try." 

"Nari will not only get her dad, but she will also get seven uncles. I promise the boys will love her so much. She will be so loved," Hongjoong said encouragingly. "So don't be afraid and talk to Y/N." Hongjoong's words hung in the air for a moment, creating a hopeful silence. Jongho looked at him, his sadness visibly subsiding, replaced by a glimmer of longing and anticipation. 

"You really think they'll accept her? Accept us?" Jongho asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"I know so," Hongjoong replied confidently. "We're a family, Jongho. And family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." With that, Jongho seemed to find a new resolve. He nodded, taking a deep breath as he prepared himself to take the first step towards a future where he could be a father to his daughter, a future where he was no longer kept in the dark. 

The drive back to the dorms seemed to take an eternity. Jongho found himself lost in his thoughts, the car's quiet hum a stark contrast to the storm of emotions raging within him. The conversation with Hongjoong had eased his mind a bit, the weight of his newfound fatherhood feeling a little less heavy. He decided it was best to delay talking to the boys and the company about the situation until he had had time to process everything himself. It was a lot to take in, and he needed time to figure out his next steps. Once he entered his room, Jongho wasted no time. He locked the door behind him, seeking the privacy he needed for the call he was about to make. His heartbeat quickened as he dialed your number, each ring echoing in his ears until finally, the line connected. 

you

After an exhausting day you found yourself sinking into the plush cushions of your couch, a glass of your favorite wine in hand. The TV screen in front of you was merely background noise, a mindless distraction from the day's events. Your phone suddenly lighted up, an incoming call from an unknown caller. You picked it up, eyeing the unfamiliar number with a slight frown. After a moment's hesitation, you finally answered, "Hello? Who is it?" 

"Hi, it's me, Jongho," he said, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. You swallowed hard, your heart starting to beat faster. ‘’Do you have time to talk right now?’’ 

"Yeah, Nari's at my mom's now…" you managed to reply, trying to keep your voice steady. You didn't expect that Jongho had your number, let alone that he would reach out so quickly. 

Jongho's heart beat harder at the mention of Nari's name. "If you're not busy, maybe we could meet up for a coffee?" Jongho offered. 

"Jongho, you don't have to be doing this. I don't expect you to do anything for Nari or me," you blurted out, the words tumbling from your lips before you could stop them. 

"Y/N, you took her away from me for four years. She's my daughter. And for years, I was oblivious to her existence. I missed out on so much because you chose to keep me in the dark," Jongho's voice was steady, but you could hear the underlying emotion. "Because of that, I think you owe me at least a conversation." There was a pause, and you could almost feel Jongho gathering his thoughts. "So, what you need to do now is send me the address of a coffee place near your location. I'll meet you there in an hour." 

"Alright, Jongho, let's meet. I'll send you an address," you sighed heavily, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. You knew deep down that you owed him this conversation, even if it was the last thing you wanted to do right now. The reality was that you weren't ready to face whatever consequences this meeting would bring about. You weren't ready to delve into the past, but for your daughter's sake, for Jongho's sake, and maybe a little bit for your own sake, you would do it. You would meet him, and you would have this conversation. 

"I'll see you there," Jongho said, ending the call and leaving you alone with your thoughts. You finished your glass of wine, texted Jongho the address of a coffee place near your apartment, and began to gather your belongings. Opening your wardrobe, you sighed loudly. You wanted to look your best for Jongho but didn't want to appear as if you were preparing for a date or trying too hard to impress him after all these years. Having chosen an outfit, put on your denim jacket, and headed to the coffee shop. 

Upon entering the coffee shop, your eyes immediately found Jongho, sitting alone in a corner. He was dressed casually in a beige coat, his face partially hidden behind glasses, and a mask. The sight of him caused a flutter in your heart and your hands started to tremble involuntarily. You straightened your clothes and ran a hand through your hair, trying to compose yourself. Taking a deep breath, you began to make your way towards his table, preparing yourself for the conversation to come. 

"Hi," you almost whispered as you found your seat opposite Jongho. You tried to maintain an air of confidence, but the reality was that your heart was pounding in your chest. You could feel a lump forming in your throat, and you quickly swallowed to clear it. The memories of your past with Jongho were flooding back, and you were suddenly overcome with a mix of nostalgia, regret, fear, and hope. Jongho looked at you intently, his eyes scanning your features. It was surreal, he thought, to have you sitting there across from him after all these years. He still couldn't quite believe, that you were here with him. His heart pounded in his chest, a mix of excitement and fear coursing through his veins. This was it - the start of a conversation that was years overdue. "Are you sure you want to talk here?" you asked, glancing around at the bustling café. "This place is still quite busy considering it's already evening," you continued. There was an uncertainty in your tone, a clear sign of your nervousness. You then looked back at Jongho, meeting his gaze. "I just think that considering your status now, it will be more comfortable to do it at my place," you added, offering an alternative. 

After a moment of silence, Jongho finally found the courage to ask, "Are you comfortable with me coming over to your place?" His voice was filled with a hint of apprehension as if he was worried about crossing any boundaries. 

"Yeah, it's alright," you responded, your tone casual and inviting. You quickly added, ‘’My place isn’t far from here, just about 5 minutes away. Besides, Nari won’t be home tonight. She's staying over with her grandparents, so we'll have the place to ourselves.’’ 

Jongho seemed to consider your words for a moment before he finally agreed, "Okay then, let's go," his tone steady, as if he was trying to mask his excitement or maybe it was anxiety. Together, you left the bustling café, heading towards the quiet comfort of your apartment. The walk was filled with palpable tension, both of you lost in your thoughts, silently anticipating the conversation that awaited. 

You let Jongho in and lead him to the living room. "I'm sorry, it's nothing fancy," you whispered, feeling suddenly self-conscious. You were aware that with the success Jongho had achieved, he was probably used to living in more amazing spaces. Jongho looked around your modest space, taking in the sights of a home that you had lovingly created for yourself and Nari. Her baby pictures were hanging on the wall, her toys scattered in every corner. His smile widened as he took in these intimate glimpses into her life. It filled him with a warm, tender feeling, a sense of connection to the daughter he was only just getting to know. 

''I don't know where to start'' you finally whispered anxiously as you sit down on the couch.

Jongho looked at you, his eyes softening. "How about we start from the beginning?''

"I found out about a month after we broke up," you started, your voice shaking. Jongho's presence felt so strange in your apartment. His eyes on yours added to the tension that was heavy on your shoulders. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jongho asked, his voice filled with a mixture of confusion and hurt. His eyes bore into yours, seeking answers to questions that had been plaguing him since he found out about Nari.

"I was scared," you confessed, your voice barely audible. "And I loved you too much to burden you with my pregnancy," you said, smiling sadly and averting your gaze as you felt tears welling up in your eyes. "And don't try to lie and tell me I wouldn't ruin your life with it," you chuckled, your finger wiping away the tears that escaped. "Because I would have," you continued, the words heavy with regret and unshed tears. "Your music, your dreams... I couldn't stand in the way of that." 

"I think I had the right to know," Jongho interrupted, his voice firm yet filled with emotion. His words brought a heavy silence between the two of you. His gaze was intent, the hurt and confusion clear in his eyes. 

"Jongho, I didn't mean to hurt you by keeping it a secret," you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "But at that time, I genuinely believed it was the best decision for the three of us." You gave him a pleading look, hoping he would understand. 

"I want to be Nari's father," Jongho confessed, his voice barely above a whisper but the conviction in his words was undeniable. You were taken aback by his confession, not expecting him to express such a strong desire to be a part of your daughter's life. You looked at him, your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to find the right words.

"Jongho... we are doing good, the two of us. You've chosen your career, and I want you to stick to that decision now. Nari doesn't change anything." 

"How can you say that? Of course, it changes everything! I am a father now!", Jongho's voice rose, his tone filled with a sense of urgency and frustration. His heart pounded in his chest, his gaze never leaving yours. "Nari exists because we loved each other," his voice choked with emotion as he continued, "She's a living proof of our love." His voice trailed off, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the room. He was desperate for you to understand. His life, his priorities, everything had shifted the moment he found out about Nari. And he was determined to do whatever it took to be a part of her life. Jongho's eyes flashed with determination as he refused to accept your words. "I am her dad, Y/N, and you can't change that!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with conviction. 

"I know you are, Jongho," you admitted, your voice softening."But I want you to focus on Ateez, you guys are already doing so well," you responded, your voice steady yet filled with a strange calmness. "Me and Nari... we'll be better off without you." The words hung heavily in the air, a painful reality neither of you wanted to face. 

"Stop lying to yourself!" Jongho suddenly stood up, glaring at you as his frustration boiled over. His voice echoed around the room, a clear indication of his disbelief and anger at your words. His outburst took you by surprise. You looked at him, taken aback by the intensity of his emotions. 

"Jongho, I made a mistake… I shouldn't have come to the fan sign, I shouldn't have let you meet Nari," you started, but he cut you off. 

"Enough, Y/N!" he exclaimed; his voice filled with raw emotion. "You don't get to decide what's best for me. She is my daughter too, do you understand?" You swallowed hard, feeling a lump forming in your throat. You knew he was right. "I want to be there for Nari." You looked at him, speechless. You hadn't expected this. You hadn't expected him to fight for his right to be a part of Nari's life. But here he was, standing in your living room, pouring his heart out to you. 

"This is a huge responsibility. Are you sure you're ready for it?" You took a deep breath, locking eyes with him. "Because once you're in, there's no going back." Jongho gaze softened, but the determination remained. 

"Yes, I'm sure," he said resolutely. "I want to be a part of her life. And I'm ready to take on the responsibility that comes with it." His voice was steady, his conviction clear. There was a pause, a momentary lapse in his speech before he finally found the courage to continue with his confession. "And...," he started his voice barely a whisper, so low and quiet that it was almost lost. You had to strain your ears to hear the rest of his sentence. "I want you back as well, if you will have me" he admitted his words carrying an emotional weight that you could feel hanging in the air between you. You were stunned, unable to form a coherent response. Jongho's words had taken you completely by surprise. You never expected him to confess his feelings, to say that he wanted you back. It felt like your heart was pounding out of your chest, your mind racing with thoughts. You looked at him, your emotions in turmoil. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision.

"Jongho, I..." you started, struggling to find the right words. You could see the hope in his eyes, the same hope that you felt blossoming in your own heart. "I need time to think about all of this," you finally admitted. "For now, we should focus on you getting to know Nari." 

His face fell slightly at your words, but he quickly composed himself. "Of course, I understand," Jongho responded, his voice gentle. "Take all the time you need. And I look forward to getting to know our daughter." After a moment, Jongho broke the silence, his voice soft as he asked, "Could I see her room, if that's not too much to ask?" His eyes were hopeful as he looked at you, his chest rising and falling steadily as he took a few calming breaths. It was clear that he was trying to keep his emotions in check, to respect your need for space and time. As much as he wanted to rush into your lives, he knew he had to tread carefully. After all, he was not just stepping into the life of his former lover, but also into the life of his daughter.

"Of course, you can but… You're not gonna like it," you chuckled softly, Jongho's heart softened at the sight of your genuine smile, a smile he had missed more than he cared to admit.

''Why?'' Jongho asked surprised, but you didn't answer. You wanted for him to see it himself. You led Jongho to Nari's room. The sight that greeted him was a mix of bright colors and cute decorations, a clear reflection of the little girl who called this place her sanctuary. And there, among all the toys and drawings, was a framed picture of… Wooyoung. 

"Is that... Wooyoung?" Jongho's voice was filled with surprise as his eyes widened at the sight. He quickly made his way into the room, picking up the framed picture in his hands. 

"Yes, it's Wooyoung," you confirmed a soft smile on your lips. "Nari adores him. She thinks he's the coolest in the world." You watched as Jongho's gaze lingered on the picture; his expression unreadable. Jongho looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions. 

"I can't believe that amongst all of us, she had to choose Wooyoung," Jongho muttered, his voice low and filled with a sense of disbelief and a hint of jealousy. His gaze remained fixed on the picture, his thoughts running wild. ''My own daughter?'' You giggled again, finding Jongho's disbelief and subtle jealousy amusing. 

"Well, she does have a good taste. After all, Wooyoung is pretty cool," you teased, watching as Jongho's face fell even more. You couldn't help but find the whole situation incredibly amusing. Here was Jongho, an idol who was adored by millions around the world, feeling jealous of his own bandmate. Jongho shook his head, chuckling softly at your comment. 

"I guess I have some catching up to do then," he said, placing the picture back on the little, pink desk. His tone was light, but you could sense the determination behind his words. He was ready to do whatever it took to build a relationship with his daughter. You watched him, your heart aching at the sight. Jongho, the man you once loved, standing in your daughter's room, expressing his desire to be a part of her life. It was a sight you never imagined you would witness. 

"Jongho, I think...I think it's a good start," you finally said, your voice soft but steady. "You wanting to get to know Nari, to be a part of her life...it means a lot." 

Jongho turned to you, his gaze softening. "I should've been there from the start," he admitted with a sigh. "But I promise you, I'll make up for the lost time." Those words, that promise, filled you with a sense of hope. You knew the journey ahead would be filled with challenges and uncertainties. But for the first time in a long time, you felt that you weren't alone in this. And maybe, just maybe, there was a possibility for a future where you, Jongho, and Nari could be a family. But for now, you decided to take things one step at a time, starting with Jongho getting to know his daughter. 

"She asked about you the other day," you started, your voice barely a whisper as you looked at Jongho. "She had never asked about her dad before, but when she did, it changed something inside me." You admitted, a lump forming in your throat as you recalled the moment. It was a memory that had been haunting you, a reminder of the reality that you had been trying to avoid. Jongho's eyes widened slightly, a mix of surprise and curiosity reflecting in his gaze as he awaited your next words. "I knew this day would come, but I wasn't prepared for it," you continued, your voice choked with emotion. At this, Jongho reached out, taking your hand in his. The warmth of his touch brought a small comfort. "I told her a few things about you, told her you were really busy," you confessed, your eyes meeting Jongho's. "I didn't know what else to say. She asked if her daddy would treat her to ice cream next time." 

Jongho's hand squeezed yours lightly as he stated, "Well, then Daddy will take her to get ice cream," he flashed you a smile and you swore you melted at the sight. You had buried your love for Jongho deep in your heart. But now, his hand on yours, his touch that you craved for so long, stirred something within you. You had to admit that those feelings were slightly knocking at your heart, reminding you of their existence. The silence that filled the room was comfortable, a stark contrast to the tension that had been present earlier. You could see the determination in Jongho's eyes, the promise of his words echoing in the quiet room. The reality of the situation was slowly sinking in, and you found yourself looking at Jongho with newfound hope. 

"I guess we still have a lot to talk about," you finally broke the silence, your gaze steady on Jongho. There was a soft smile on your face, a clear indication of your acceptance of the situation. "And a lot of ice cream to buy," you added, your tone light and teasing. 

Jongho chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I guess we do," he agreed, his voice warm and gentle. He then looked at you, his gaze softening. "But first, we need to figure out how to tell Nari." You nodded, a sense of apprehension filling you. Telling Nari about her dad would be a challenge, a hurdle that both of you needed to cross together. But looking at Jongho, his determination, and his willingness to step up as a father, you felt a sense of comfort. 

"We'll figure it out, Jongho," you said, squeezing his hand in reassurance. "Together." 

Jongho looked at you, a serious expression on his face. "Y/N, I wanted to talk to you first about this, but tomorrow I'm going to talk with company representatives and the boys. I think I will choose to go on a hiatus to spend some time with Nari and you," he confessed, his voice steady and sincere. The honesty in his words and the determination in his eyes gave you a sense of reassurance. Jongho was indeed ready to take on the responsibility of being a father, and he was willing to make sacrifices for it. 

"Jongho, I want to be clear about something," you started, your eyes meeting his. "I'd still like it if you continued your career. I don't want Nari or me to be the reason you have to give up on your dreams." Your words were steady and sincere, echoing in the quiet room. Jongho looked at you, a wave of relief washing over him. He had been worried about the impact this situation would have on his career, but hearing your support eased his concerns. 

"Hearing you say that... it means a lot to me," he confessed, his voice filled with gratitude. He was glad to know that even in this complex situation, he still had your support. 

The two of you spent the rest of the evening talking about Nari, her likes and dislikes, her habits, and her dreams. You showed him her drawings, her favorite toys, and even her diary which was filled with her innocent thoughts and dreams. Jongho listened attentively, absorbing every detail. He knew he had a lot of catching up to do, but he was more than willing to make up for the lost time. The night grew late as you continued to talk, discussing the future, your shared past, and how everything would affect Nari. You made it clear to Jongho that his career was still significant, and that he could balance his responsibilities as a father without giving up his dreams. And as you spoke, Jongho felt a wave of relief wash over him. Your support meant the world to him, and he was grateful to hear your words of encouragement. 

As you finally said your goodbyes, Jongho promised to keep in touch and to start involving himself in Nari's life slowly. He understood that he had a lot of catching up to do and that it wouldn't be easy. But he was ready to face the challenges ahead, ready to be a father to Nari. 

"I'll see you soon, Y/N," Jongho said, his voice low but firm. Before he took a step outside of the door, he stepped closer and gently placed a kiss on your cheek. The action was unexpected. You felt your blood rush to your cheeks as he placed a gentle kiss. Where his lips had touched, a tingling sensation lingered, causing your heart to flutter. He turned back to give you a reassuring smile, a promise that he would be back soon. And as you watched him walk away, you felt a sense of hope blossoming in your heart. You knew that the road ahead would be rocky, but you also knew that you weren't alone on this journey. Jongho would be there, ready to face the challenges with you, for Nari's sake. 

#ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #jongho x reader #jongho x y/n #jongho x you #jongho angst #jongho fluff #jongho as dad

[twig-tea]

Things from Wandee Goodday ep 3 I can't stop thinking about:

I love so much that we got some good friends with benefits tension around personal boundaries when Dee asked who Yei was and then backed off (but Yak told him anyway). And between the jokes about rimming, Dee demanding Yak pay more attention to his dick last episode, and starting this episode in the 69 position, I am very, very here for this show saying over and over that sex is not just one act.

[ID: Gif of the beginning of episode 3, whichi is a pan-to-shot of Dee and Yak laying in 69 position on the floor under blankets]

i loved the different responses to hearing someone you love is in a "Friends with Benefits" situation; Kao warned Dee not to catch feelings or read too much into the situation and Cher/Yei teased Yak for lying to himself about what the situation is. Both are super valid and speak to who Dee and Yak are, who Kao and Cher/Yei are, and all of their experiences with love. And it speaks to the closeness of these relationships too, that Cher noticed Yak's necklace gone immediately and Kao similarly clocked its addition on Dee instantly.

Super here for Kao being the ultimate support bestie at work, equal parts haranguing and backing Dee up. Their relationship is perfection.

I really liked Yak peace-ing out of their agreement when Dee dropped a huge request with no context, that was so valid and in the spirit of FWB (he didn't actually owe him a bigger conversation).

I've already reblogged a couple of other people (@negrowhat and @lurkingshan) talking about this so I won't belabour it, but I am judging Dee for not only ignoring Yak's boundaries by going to his workplace and forcing him to train him and then flirting with him during training sessions after Yak both made clear he's worried about being out at work and had ended their agreement. I hope we get more of an explanation for Yak's reticence about dating a man while aiming for the championship as well as his change of mind.

The conversations with Cher and Oyei have me so curious about their history! Tell me everything, show. I put these questions in tags on a gifset (but to put them on main: Where is Oyei and Yak's father (who is also a former champ but apparently uninvolved with this family business, if he's still alive)? What happened to Yak's mother that he doesn't know if he takes after her? Why can they go to Cher's family for financial help but not Yei/Yak's (to the point where they had to take out what sounds like a predatory loan during COVID)? What is Cher afraid of re: being seen being affectionate to Oyei, and where does that come from? Is this history related to why Yak is so worried about his relationship to Dee getting in the way of his championship? All of this is seeded so organically and I'm so, so curious. It also has me even more in my feelings about Cher and Yei calling Yak their son.

[ID: Gif of Yei saying to Cher: I own this place. What's there to be afraid of? From the set linked in the paragraph above]

[I have a clown theory that Cher and Oyei's relationship is why his dad is out of the picture and his gym is in financial trouble (because it prevented Yei from getting sponsorship despite being a champion), and why Yak is worried about being in a relationship with a man even though he knows his brother won't care...we'll see how much of this the show pulls together!]

The flash of trauma from Dee at the crosswalk was interesting too; where is that going? What happened in Dee's past and how is it going to affect the story in future?

[More clown speculation: Is it related to why Dee is so good with patients and passionate about ortho? Has he seen someone in his life become disabled due to physical injury?]

Speaking of, I really loved seeing Dee be good at his job and great with patients and their families. In addition to it being just nice to see and good for our understanding of his character, it sets him up to have a fighting chance in the contest too, since patients apparently get a vote.

I love love love the camaraderie and giggling between Dee and Yak around making Ter jealous and shoving their fake relationship in those gossiping nurses' faces. The way they are actually friends who like one another and enjoy spending time together is just really wonderful to watch.

My biggest question is: Will Dee get a chance in this narrative to show up for Yak the way Yak has been showing up for Dee? And how can that current imbalance be reconciled with this all leading towards Dee trying to get a placement to go abroad--and his self-stated toxic trait of always needing to win? [shoutout to @chicademartinica for laying that out succinctly in her post]

In the meantime, I'm having a blast.

#wandee goodday #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it #this show is laying down a lot of groundwork and doing a lot of things i really like #with a few things that have me nervous #looking forward to the ride this show takes us on every week as we learn more!

[chernabogs]

i really like the concept of the draconias being cursed with their love, although love is a curse and heart is a heavy burden in itself,,, it's still a fun subject to talk about. your fic in maleficia pov is such an eye opener for this 🥺 id love to see more of your insights w that trope lol

Ouagh idk if you're aiming to let me just yap away about this, but that's precisely what I'm going to do because the prospect of bloodline curses/hereditary curses is one of my FAV things in folklore. This isn't a theory as much as it is me talking about just some things I've noticed and how I interpret it

To preface this, this has absolutely no hold in canon LMAO. This is just what I've noted when taking a step back and looking at the Draconia family—which is that they have a shitty track history with things happening to them. As a secondary point, I have no idea what Yana is pulling from for her background of fae information. Myths of fae come from all over the world; you got them in Europe, in Scandinavian countries, Oceania, Africa, etc (like really, they're all over). I do know her bits and bops about Malleus loving ice cream/dairy items falls more in line with European interpretations, so I'm rolling that she's drawing somewhat from that.

Which kind of leads me to noting the poor luck the Draconia's seem to have. In a lot of European folklore, fae love to curse (most often piseóg)—be it humans, dwarves, elves, or even their own kind (this really fantastic thesis digs right into that concept via an analysis of european folk stories). One story I like a lot is The Two Sisters and The Curse, a lovely tale of pride and fae. One sister brags that her sister has a fae lover, failing to follow the stipulation that she's never to tell anyone about that fae lover. The result is tragic, as expected, but the line 'If a fay-being has power, revenge will be taken though it may be on your descendants.' really sticks out in this.

Hereditary curses are curses passed through a bloodline that, understandably, can only be broken when certain stipulations are met; the ancient Greeks especially loved them. Some might think them as geas (a curse/gift, which is kind of what Meleanor put on Malleus before he was hatched; humans would fear him, fae would adore him, etc.). A lot of piseóg in European folklore are hereditary curses intent on really fucking with a family.

In my opinion, it kind of feels like the Draconia's either have the worst luck streak on record with how many things happen to them, or they have a curse. We don't know what happened to Maleficia's husband, but the assumption is that he's probably dead. Meleanor's husband went MIA in the middle of a war that her family and her people were also dragged into. Then, Meleanor died, robbing Maleficia of her only daughter. Upon her death, Maleficia was unsuccessful at hatching Malleus' egg because he began to reject her magic; if Lilia hadn't existed or had declined to help, Malleus would have died too, leaving Maleficia.

In addition, Malleus (due to his nature as sole heir and only family) was raised in an incredibly contained environment his entire life. Hell, he was chronically alone since he was in an egg. Even now he still holds this belief in his mind that he has no one except for the same 4 people he's known his entire life, and even then, one of them (Lilia) who he cares for a lot is also about to die. Silver will die before him. Sebek will die before him. His grandmother will die before him.

Really, it looks bad when you step back. This is kind of why I focused the Maleficia fic on the concept of a curse. I wrote it like she had an inkling someone in her family line had crossed the wrong person and it resulted in a piseóg, and she just doesn't know how to break or stop it.

Frankly, I love the trope to bits. I love the tragedy, I love the many ways it can happen (pissing off fae, pissing off a tenant, evicting a fairy king from your farm because you're just tryna do your harvest, etc.), and I love when one person finally manages to figure out the niche needed to break the curse. I imagine the relief of freedom from generations of tragedy is immense.

I kind of hope that happens with the Draconia's, or at least their luck turns around with Malleus. I feel like the whole family has been dragged through the mud enough LMAO.

#twst #malleus draconia #thank youuuu!!!! #i just #love talking about folklore and connections it could have to twst #so thank you for letting me indulge <3

[rainysofsunshineao3]

Predictions for whatever the hell is going on with Yaz and Sammy in JWCT

Before it airs tmr on GODDAMN ROBLOX. I've never loved and hated that game so much XDDD

So it does seem like something's going on between them whether it's related to Yaz' PTSD, the fact that she's at college, or because Sammy now has integrated dinosaurs into their daily life (Which loops back to Yaz' PTSD) and it seems kinda weird to me that most of the theories that I've heard have been Yaz-centric, or with Yaz as the larger reason their growing apart.

Maybe not weird but definitely interesting.

1. Because honestly, I can see that if they ever were to break up (I swear to god I'm murdering someone if they do tho) it would be Yaz who ends up doing it. I just can't see Sammy willingly ending things.

2. Because that's somewhat of the problem. Like, JWCC gave Sammy the bare minimum of character and plot development, most of it happening in season 1-2 with her whole "I'm a spy" deal. After that, she sort of just...stays the same. She doesn't have the same amount of development as Ben or Yaz or even Kenji. She's the most consistent character in the series and I'm not sure if that was done on purpose - like, the writers saying "ok, we have 5 really good or decent character arcs, let's have this one stay the same so there's diversity in not having change" - or they just didn't have time to really develop her character outside of the "Looks like a cinnimonroll but could actually kill you"

So something I'd like to see is Sammy having a bit more of a voice than she did in JWCC and I think the writers knew that was a problem and seem to have made her part of the main trio (Darius, Ben, and Sammy) for JWCT.

I made a previous post about the *tension* everyone seemed to get in the most recent clip > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HQffL_R1F4

in which Ben and Sammy go to visit Yaz at her university.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE that they're diving more into Yaz' PTSD that we get a glimpse of in Seasons 4-5 of CC. She seems like she's doing better and actually trying to help out others who struggled with the same things that she did which is cool.

And then we have this scene =>

And it's cute and Sammy and Ben look fine af and there are so many amazing things about this clip but like...

Sammy's not coming to Yaz' defense, like, at all.

Like, Yaz' thing isn't working and I feel like CC Sammy would have said something like "That's a really cool view!" or "Coool...?" or even like "That's...awesome Yaz!" in her wtf-is-this-but-ima-be-positive-anyway and maybe it's the writers doing what I mentioned before and giving Sammy a deeper personality and the change in demeanor is small enough that it might just be me overspeculating, but there's tension there.

And pair that with the fact that Ben says "Get in-between two girlfriends?" Like, are they arguing?! Sammy's trying to get him to choose sides? Am I getting that right?

*Cough* I mean, though, Ben would probably choose Yaz ngl, they besties. No hate on Sammy but *Cough*

Sorry, what was I saying 😅

And the line right before that when Sammy says "Ben, help me out here!" Makes me think that Sammy has been trying to get Yaz to stop obsessing over this hologram thing for a while, and maybe the only reason they came to the university was to get her to stop her research and come with them since I'm assuming this is maybe when Darius is picking up the rest of the gang. Again, I could be wrong, but that's personally what I think.

Speaking of the picking up of the campers, I love how most of us collectively agreed that the order was Sammy Kenji Yaz. That was just funny to me :)

Anyway, does that mean Yaz is just living at the University doing her hologram shit and Sammy has been trying to convince her to just come home? Cause that would be so incredibly sweet and terribly sad at the same time, like, c'mon :(((

And now there's dinosaurs chasing them again and everyone thinks Brooklyn is dead and now it's not a matter of "I miss you" but "It's not safe anymore"?

God, this show has so much potential how tf am I so invested in animated characters.

This post ended up being way longer than I anticipated so Ima end it here <333

Toodles!

#jwcc #jwct #jwct coundown #yasmina fadoula #sammy gutierrez #ben pincus #yasammy #Raine rambles for a bit

[cometblaster2070]

alright here we go, we're going to talk about raven for a bit, because there are some people saying strange, strange things about HER of all people.

(slight disclaimer: this is not an apple white hate post; she is also the loml and both her and raven are wonderful, nuanced characters)

i've seen a couple of people (before you ask, yes, it is those apple white defenders) talk about how utterly selfish raven was being. how she was completely uncooperative and unwilling towards apple, how rude she was, what a terrible friend and a terrible person she was in general she was to everyone (but especially apple gasp), and most of all, raven is completely and utterly selfish for refusing to see apple's viewpoint and for refusing to at least hear apple out.

LIKE IM SORRY?? DID WE WATCH THE SAME SHOW?? DID WE SEE THE SAME CHARACTERS??

AH YES, MY MISTAKE, RAVEN WAS COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY SELFISH FOR NOT WANTING TO FOLLOW IN HER VILLANOUS MOTHER'S FOOTSTEPS AND HARM THE PEOPLE SHE LOVES AND CARES ABOUT.

she's also definitely wrong and completely selfish to even consider wanting to have a happy, peaceful life for herself, instead of poisoning her best friend and ending up hated, alone and chained up like a monster.

my bad guys; i misunderstood the show, clearly it was raven who was the selfish one for not acquiescing to apple's request of poisoning her and ending up miserable for the rest of her life.

jokes aside, like, i don't even know how to explain how wrong this is. not only is it completely outlandish to make the argument that raven is wrong and selfish for wanting to NOT end up in magic jail, but it's so strange to demonize her in this particular way??

LIKE WOW WONDER WHY SHE WOULDN'T WANT THIS DESTINY.

raven's defining character trait throughout the show and the books and any other form of media she's associated with is her kindness, her gentleness, her willingness to do the right thing and how she sincerely just wants to help people, and completely loathes the fact that people see her as nothing more than evil and they see her as someone dangerous.

raven is shown to be someone who would literally rather die on the spot than hurt someone or willingly cause them pain, she has also continuously shown guilt over her mother's previous actions (particularly Wonderland); and another thing we're shown time and time again, is that although she disagrees with apple, she loves her so, so much and would do ANYTHING for her.

LET'S ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW RAVEN WAS CONSTANTLY EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED THROUGH EAH BY LITERALLY EVERYONE??? LIKE THIS GIRL COULD NOT CATCH A BREAK, IF MADDIE WASN'T THERE SHE WOULD'VE SNAPPED SO FAST IM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

side tangent on this: woman spent her wishing well coin on asking if her friends would be fine if she didn't sign, PLEASE I LOVE HER.

like we had GRIMM of all people on her ass constantly threatening her with going 'poof' and ruining everyone's lives, and oh yes, he took the one thing she had from her mother and gave her that horrific wishing well vision, and then, she had ALLLL the royals telling her how horrible she was for not signing and dooming them all, and then we still have apple, who was constantly reminding her to sign and asking why she didn't and how she should've and whatever whatever; you get the point but STILL.

like i sincerely have trouble understanding why we're demonizing raven rn over wanting to choose her own happiness for once, over a lifetime of literal TORMENT AND SUFFERING.

and consistently throughout the show, we are also shown how apple is in the wrong; apple is a very nuanced character yes, and there's a lot of valid reasons that explain why she has the worldview that she does, and does the things that she does, but it doesn't take away the fact that apple is wrong, and throughout eah, we are shown apple realizing and then later accepting that she's wrong and raven's views and actions are valid and right.

i mean, we even get other characters who were diehard royals acknowledging raven's terrible situation and sympathizing with her; case in point, briar in thronecoming.

lastly, on the point of her not listening to apple or hearing her out, girl, like i love apple sm; but her entire point throughout the earlier seasons was 'oh raven why won't you poison me so you can go to prison and i can get my happily ever after like we're supposed to?'; like apple is also shown to be entirely unreasonable in the earlier seasons to raven being like 'haha hey, this is kind of fucked up, don't you think??' and again, apple has valid reasons for this, but it doesn't take away the fact that she was wrong and that there is really no reason for raven to be demonized over THIS of all things???

tl;dr: raven queen is a wonderful character; apple white would beat your ass if you're talking shit about her (like not in being like "oh i don't like this character" way, in this particular clown way), and demonizing raven for being 'selfish' is WILDDD.

#long post #shitpost #not really but #everything i post turns into one so #ever after high #eah #sorry for this monstrosity but like im just pissed #raven queen #apple white #i am a raven queen defender THROUGH AND THROUGH #raven queen did nothing wrong #raven queen the loml the woman that you are #alright all things aside #these arguments are INSANE #i thought ppl were joking #but i actually have seen people accusing raven of being selfish and a terrible friend #like bitch goodbye

[highpri3stess]

If you're seeing this now, I'm not online and, this is queued. I wrote this on Thursday before my journey, so yeah.

My initial "fuck you" post was quite mean spirited. As much as you people might not believe me, I hated the way it ended up sounding.

There are a lot of things that are far more important than me whining about my own problems going on, really. I could use this as a rant to talk about how people only care about serious issues now and are making rallying posts now, when I was trying to talk about it in January, especially "big" blogs, but honestly, I do not care anymore. It hurt initially that I was ignored and seen as a nusiance, but I'm over it. As long as the people who need these funds gets it and get out safely from Gaza, then I'm happy creators for palestine is taking root on tumblr as well. I wish I could join, but honestly, I'll just use my tiktok and youtube to try and help and generate money in any way I can. This is not me trying to "look" like a good person. I am not. The ongoing genocide is far bigger than anyone, and as long as people are protesting and generating money for the people, I'm happy. Please go ahead and help these creators to get to a goal and help a family in palestine. Also reblog gofund me's for Congo and Sudan and donate to them if you can, please. I'll also see if I can rally people at school to donate too or at least talk about it, but with how Nigeria is so pro-isn'treal, hope is bleak.

Now, to address my reasons for going. I'm seeing some anonymous asks as I've arrived on my blog to make this post asking me "Why are you leaving?"

Well, it's simple really. I could just say severe racism and go my way but it's more than that.

I would like to start with myself really as the main problem:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to do the right thing. But in the end, the right thing isn't always necessarily the right way to go. This account was made when I was going through the most stressful and painful time of my life. I hated medical school. I was recovering from the trauma of being sexually abused and consequently reminded that I would never get justice. My old tumblr wasn't going anywhere either and I wanted a fresh start, at least something working. If I say this account helped me through hard times, I'd be lying. It made me forget about my problems and then I return to reality and nothing has changed. I've frankly gotten myself into so many spats and spoken to many people with vitrol in the name of doing the right thing without checking myself. I've broken friendships and hurt people with my words and my actions, without being level headed and asking questions first. I've done so much hurt, I don't think the good I intended to do would outweigh it.

Even with people who have done something wrong or wronged me, I overreacted. It was not right of me and I don't want anyone who follows me to think it was or is right. I've made up excuses for myself over and over again when I respond with a vile comment or even with a threat and it is time for me to stop that consciously. The people who said I was immature or too sensitive were right. As an adult, I'm am supposed to be well adjusted to my emotions. I'm no longer 18. I am 20. I will be treating people who will say worse things and I must do the work to adjust.

To anyone I've hurt, justified or unjustified, I humbly apologize. It was wrong of me to react that way. You do not have to forgive me, truly, or accept my apology. I would like to just apologize. My actions were and are inexcusable.

Secondly, the Saetoru/Tee situation:

If you were or you weren't here, it doesn't really matter. Tee did something horrible to me and my mutual and I can't forgive them. I've longed for an apology and for her to change her ways, but honestly, you can take a horse to the river but you can't force them to drink from it. This is me closing the chapter on that. Honestly, the best thing for anyone to do when it comes to her is just block her and anyone associated with her. Giving her attention does nothing but feeds her ego and reacting to her probably tickles her fancy. Sometimes, the best solution for people is just going no contact with them.

To anyone I hurt in the crossfires or put under stress, I'm sorry. I should not have done it and I should have faced Tee head on, alone and not involved any of you. To the person who sent the post to papersirens, I have forgiven you. You may have caused me pain, but being angry at you forever is not the way to go.

Thirdly, Monsters:

I've done a lot of blaming towards the readers for being rude, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. That fic has caused a lot of pain and anguish and gathered a very toxic audience that frankly scares me. I grew up in the fanfic community with the knowledge that positive interactions helps with boosting the writers morale, but honestly, I am yet to see how being racist to me or rude to me would boost my morale. Being mean to me over my own story does the opposite- it discourages me. As a result, the last comment as at tuesday was my last straw. I will never write that fic again. Not even when I have time. That project has been muddied with racism and vileness I can't even look at the folders without bursting into tears. It's better for all of us to break up from that toxic relationship. Like some of you said, there are better fics, so please read those instead.

Lastly: Will I ever return to tumblr?

Yes. But never on this account. It might not even be this year even. Or it might be. Who knows? You won't even know it's me anyways unless you have my discord. I'd like a fresh start and a rebrand and frankly to distance myself from the vile person I am now.

Final thoughts:

My advice to you all is to protect black writers. Many of us are leaving the platform due to antiblackness and hostility. Frankly, this app would be nothing without the countless black artists whom many of you get your ideas from. They are the pinnacles of this app and without them there is not fandom. Take care of them. Please.

-Monica.

#monica.speaks ♡ #monsters ♡ #moots ♡

[seredelgi]

COME BACK TO ME

fandom: Attack On Titan/ Shingeki No Kyojin

pairing: Eren Jaeger x Reader, Toxic! Eren Jaeger x Fem! Reader, Eren Jaeger x You, Modern!Eren Jaeger x Reader, Dom!Eren Jaeger x Sub!Reader

summary: Not completely satisfied with her sex life and anxious about the impending day of her wedding, reader turns back to Eren, her ex, to get what she misses from her fiancee.

rating: Mature, 18+

warnings: toxic!eren, toxic!reader, toxic relationship in general, smut, sex, vaginal sex, breeding kink, choking, cheating, as in reader cheats on her fiancee with eren, profanity, mild degradation, kind of angsty too, dirty talk, raw sex, light dom! sub! undertones, edging, nipple play, modern au

word count: 3.6k

tags: @anniemika @vlsquuu

a/n: I'm usually not that much of an Eren simp but he honestly fits the toxic ex-boyfriend trope too well, so here. This is really the scrappiest scrap ever but yeah, enjoy. Let me know if I've missed any warnings. English is not my first language so forgive any mistakes.

You love your boyfriend. You really do.

There's no denying that when he proposed you felt kind of nervous about the idea of spending a lifetime with him, but that's no reason to doubt how much you love him.

He's sweet, he's caring, and most definitely very handsome. " He's quite a catch" your friends constantly like to remind you "Such a step up from that clown you were so down bad for"

Eren Jaeger.

Your girlfriends couldn't stand the guy. And honestly, how could you blame them? He's not been the best partner to you during your time together.

He was obnoxiously self-centered and way too jealous.

You were together a year, but you put up with his shit that long simply because he had one of those annoyingly difficult-to-replace redeeming qualities.

Boy, was Eren good at sex.

Your now fiancee is good too, but that's no match for the way Eren could make you feel back in the day.

And you know it is no excuse for what you did. It doesn't matter how nervous or weirded out you have been about the impending approach of your big day, you shouldn't have called him. You shouldn't have needed to hear his voice so bad, and most definitely shouldn't have hoped for him to invite you over to his apartment, sounding way too smug already in doing so over the phone.

But you can't help it, it's just the effect he has on you. You lose all common sense when it comes to him. He's intoxicating, and that, unfortunately, is part of his damn charm.

However, it is quite difficult to regret any of those decisions right now, sweaty and spread underneath him, taking him deep enough to leave you out of breath.

He's not been able to wipe that stupid grin off his face since he opened the door and met your big eyes, languid already with the denial of how much you missed him.

It's always been like that with him. You got carried away by the nostalgia, you felt the suffocating need to see him again, and then felt ready to bolt the second you were met with his piercing green gaze again.

He hadn't let you, of course.

He took hold of your wrist as soon as you turned around to escape from him. He'll be damned if he won't get his hands on you, after months of pointless abstinence.

He's never properly digested your break-up. He'd let you go reluctantly, but still messaged you, still lingered in your life like a ghost.

It didn't help that you'd continued living in the same neighborhood as him for a while after you two had split.

If you had to be honest, that was the very reason why you hadn't been able to be completely faithful to your new man in the first few months of your relationship. You happened to run into Eren a few times too many, giving in way too easily to his rumblings about how he was sorry, that he should've treated you better.

Well, it's too late now, you had found yourself saying, only to end up getting railed by him anyway.

Who were you kidding? You were too damn weak to resist him.

It only happened twice, and you felt so bad about it that you decided to move from the area as soon as things with your boyfriend seemed to take a good turn.

Eren didn't take it very well.

He called you insistently and left you so many messages that you had to block him on pretty much any social media. But he still reached out to you, one way or another, through some of his friends. He didn't have them write anything to you directly, but they always looked at your stories and your posts and you were positive they reported everything back to him.

That's why you're sure he knew you were engaged when he answered your call that very day.

He just didn't care.

Part of you knows you should despise him for it, that the fact that he invited you over anyway doesn't speak highly of him. However, that's exactly why you called him. You knew he wouldn't give a damn about your approaching wedding. If anything, he'd turn this into yet another stroke at his pride, yet another thing to hold you by the neck with.

And that's what he's doing now while burying himself into you. He wraps his hand around your neck and slaps against your ass so hard that all you can hear is the sound of your pussy milking his length and his rasping puffs of pleasure.

Man, you've missed this.

There's nothing quite like the way he makes you feel.

You're not sure what it is about him, and it's not like you don't get fucked properly by your fiancee. There's something about sex with Eren tho, that simply drives you wild. Maybe it's in the fervency of his touch, so eager to elicit a response that it often ends up ravaging you insatiably. It's like he needs you to like it.

It almost makes you wonder how on earth could you have let all of this go.

But then he brushes the strands of your damp hair off your face and whispers to you:

" Couldn't stay away from it, huh?" his breaths are heavy, and their warmth sinks into your skin like sin itself " Missed me that much?"

You can't help rolling your eyes at that. Whether or not his nonsense ranting is the only reason for it, only you know.

You dip your nails into the flexing muscles of his back and whine so loud into the otherwise quietness of his room that you're sure the whole building has heard that. He must've had the same thought too, because he snickers cockily back at you.

You hate to be so easy to break for him, but there's no helping it, and you can't stop your pitiful whining from pouring out anyway.

" Use your words, princess" he drags out, his hold on your neck tightening " Can he make you feel this good?"

You shouldn't humor him, shouldn't let him know the shameful truth of intimacy with your man, but how can you lie to him now that he's smacking so hard against you that you barely remember your name?

No way any of the men you've had in your life could even come close. And even if reluctant, some part of you needs for him to know.

" Nu-uh, Ere-hn" his name comes out amid quiet pathetic whimpers and he basks gloriously in them, pretty much drunk on the sight of your pleasure.

" Fucking knew it" you can hear his groans reverberating through you, shaking you up from within and making you shiver all over.

You're not prepared for the suddenness of his touch when his thumb comes to rest upon your already throbbing clit, applying the right amount of pressure where you've been aching for it, and you exhale a deep long moan that makes him chuckle and dive onto your neck, to pepper it with kisses and gentle bites.

You're already so close, but if you know him well enough he won't let you off the hook that easily.

" Look at you all dumbed down on my dick" the hand of his that had kept you in a chokehold up until then comes to brush down your lips, parting them sweetly as he looks into your half-lidded eyes " What'd he say if he saw you like this?"

You want to tell him to shut up, that you're not here to boost his ego a few sizes. However, you find compelling the way spite is turning him ravenous on you. And as he skates down your skin to squeeze your breasts you catch your breath, bracing.

He knows how much you like nipple play, something you've been missing lately. Your soon-to-be husband indulges in it, but he's way too gentle for your tastes, and even if you've reassured him that he can go hard on you, that you can take it, he just can't bring himself to.

Eren tho, is a whole other matter.

He brushes them lightly, teasing you, making you shiver from expectation. Your chest swells up to chase the warmth you can feel radiating from his hand, demanding it on you. It's like you're a puppet, dancing around at any pull of his at your strings.

You're dipping your teeth into your bottom lip so hard that you fear you'll cut it, but when he finally pinches you, you free a shrill sob of satisfaction. Pain curses through you like an injection drug, it haunts at those corners of your mind that had been, until then, still reticent to the heat of his touch.

He still knows you so well you can't help but melt into it now, tho.

" Still fancy this, darling?" he twists your right nipple in between his fingertips, toying with it, having you arch your back as a jolt of pleasure runs through your nerves to come pulse in your swelling clit. The little nub is desperately throbbing for him to speed up the pace that his thumb has been reserving it.

You nod enthusiastically, buckling your hips against his, eliciting the kind of hiss from him that reminds you how even though he likes to play dominant, he's just about as much at your mercy as you are at his.

" Shit- Easy, babe" his voice is croaked with arousal, this time around he's pleasantly taken aback by how receptive you still are to what he used to do to you " 'gonna have me nut into you like that"

You bite your bottom lip harshly at that, trying to refrain from letting him know just how much you would actually love that. You can't let a guy like him know. He'd attempt to knock you up in an instant, probably seeing it as the perfect opportunity to claim you back.

And even if there's no chance he could manage, you still don't wanna give him the satisfaction.

His thumb is still grazing lazy circles around your sweet spot, giving you enough to leave you impatiently waiting on the edge, craving your release so bad that you utter a little "please Eren" against his lips. Lips that are hovering way too close to be able to keep resisting them, and they look so good that you almost feel compelled to kiss him.

But you can't.

It would make this too sentimental, too real for you to able to take it.

" Please what?"

He's wicked, but hell, do you like it.

You hear the sound of your juices mixing with his as he stretches you out, a thin line of drool silently streaming down your chin, giving him yet another reason to smirk to himself proudly.

" Please Eren, make me 'cum, please"

Begging him for it has always proved to be effective in getting what you want. He usually felt spurred enough by it to give in immediately. Plus, you've always secretly loved that, too.

This time around it doesn't seem to be enough, tho.

" See, I'm not sure you deserve that, darling" his pace has become unabating, it's starting to sore you, it's starting to make you regret coming here in the first place, especially when he just won't let you have what you want " You were very bad to me, weren't you?"

Nuh-uh.

But you nod anyway.

And that's about the extent of the amount of power he has over you.

You're able to leave him and stop thinking about him, able to start a new life and date other men, able to accept a marriage proposal, even. But the second he's got you, you're not capable of denying him anything.

You're completely at his mercy.

" 'm-hm sorry" you keen, and see a genuine sparkle of surprise arise in his eyes at that, the quivering sense of loss he must've felt the day you deserted him still hidden in there, twinkling like a treasure he just won't surrender.

If there's something you know for certain, if there's anything you'd bet your life on is that he loves you. Sure, it's in that sick, toxic way of his that just about makes you twist your guts and ache for him at the same time. But he does nonetheless, and you've never doubted that.

There's definitive proof of it in the softening of his tone the second you apologize to him.

" Then leave him baby" he's breathless as he begs you, he kisses your lips and you can't deny him, even reveling at the contact, having craved it so bad that it almost hurts. It heightens your senses and makes you hungry for more.

You've missed it a lot, maybe more than you had the rest of it.

With him, it was always so needy. A desperate clashing of teeth and avid chasing of tongues, always wrapped in moans as he selfishly pulls you in. It is so intense that you'd dreamed about it for nights after you had ultimately decided to break up with him.

" Come back to me" whispered in between harsh puffs and meetings of lips " You know you want to, 'can feel it in the way you squeeze me"

Damn, he's so close to cracking you that it's almost scary.

" Can't let me go" chants and prayers of his just add up to the increasing intensity of his pressure on your clit, bringing you so close that literal tears stream down your cheeks, and somehow you know it's not just because of the gut-wrenching need to orgasm.

You just hate that he's right, and it hurts so much, even in the midst of all the pleasure you're feeling.

" You're still mine" fervid kisses cover the skin of your neck, humid little reminders of what you feel for him, and then you feel the fluttering of your walls welcoming the long-awaited approach of your climax.

He can feel it too, because he steadies his movements, and his eyes are trained on your features as you turn to jelly underneath him, incoherent pleads ecaping silently past your lips.

" Like that, yeah" you can hear him only dazily in the background of your pleasure as you shudder against him, and then you feel his lips claiming yours back, giving you no time at all to even catch your breath. He flicks his tongue in your mouth as you cry into him, and it's just the most excruciating kind of evidence that what he's said is all true.

You are his, and you always will be.

And it makes it all the more agonizing that you cannot be.

It's not long before he tears away way from you, his thrusts suddenly sloppier, his breaths ragged and uneven, and he looks at you, still weakly trembling underneath him, looking positively worn out.

That's how he likes you. Satisfied by him, and only him.

" Fuck- Gotta pull out, baby"

You flinch instinctively at that, your legs crossing behind his back, thighs clenching desperately at his hips, and you know you wouldn't do this if you weren't so high on him.

However you're still hazed from the aftermath of your pleasure, and you so don't want him to part from you.

He looks down at you, confounded.

" Don't you play with me babygirl" he threatens, his breaths so short you can feel he's holding on for dear life, waiting for a confirmation that you do in fact want him to nut inside of you " You know I'll do it"

The idea is appealing, and you recall that's something that you two have always played with in the past.

Back when you were together he'd told you to get off the pill, that he was very much capable of pulling out in time when necessary, when really, he just loved the risk. He got off on the idea that he could knock you up at any moment, his only restraint the one of his will.

It should've felt scary, to give him full control on something like that, but he'd always behaved.

It was a game, and it really did a trick on him. It makes him shiver even right now, against the sudden softness you reserve him as your fingers run through his long brown hair. He tilts his head back and hums, chasing your touch as if starved from it.

" Wanna feel you 'cum inside of me" you whisper in his ear, and his eyes roll back, his unchecked growl making you whimper against him when his hand closes around your throat again, shoving you back on the mattress. And then he starts railing into you with renewed intensity, your head bobbing up and down with his thrusts, and it feels like absolute heaven.

" So fucking desperate for it" it seems like your request has relieved his stamina, and you resume your moaning when his other hand comes to grip your hip to keep you steady, his fingers dipping into your meat so hard you close your eyes shut " -haven't changed a bit"

You feel the awakening of a new need, and you chase after it as you can feel him do with his, his cock piercing through you and hitting your cervix with every single snap of his hips into yours.

" Eren" you let out so quietly that he almost misses it, but when he feels you convulsing around him again, your pussy shamelessly sucking him in, he can't take it anymore. He 'cums with a deep grunt and spills all his warm seed into you, staining your walls and marking you down with his teeth buried in the curve of your neck.

You're so high on it that it barely registers, the way he's sucking on your skin greedily, how whatever he's imprinting on it will have to be covered with make-up before you go back home.

When he's done you're still puffing and tamely shaking, a sweaty mess, holding onto him to try and regain a shred of your lost composure.

He's got you good this time around. You didn't expect to come twice, not being used to it anymore.

His pants are thick and hot against your skin, and when he's finally able to better control them he levers himself up to look at you.

" Fuck, I hope I got you pregnant" he smirks wickedly.

You know it shouldn't, but your heart skips a beat when he confesses that to you.

You shake your head feebly and huff contently, you'd missed the feeling of satisfaction that good sex leaves you soaking into.

" I'm on the pill"

He frowns and slips out of you, evident disappointment washing over him.

" Ow, now that's no fun"

You sigh and look at him as he lays beside you, his cock still half-hard and glistening with the remains of your juices.

" See, that's why we can't be together"

He turns to look at you at that, this time around a hint of hurt clouds his green eyes, asking for you to explain yourself.

" Having a baby is not supposed to be fun" you say then.

" Says who?" he retorts promptly, " Damn y/n, that's one depressing way to look at life"

No use arguing with him, you two are just too different. And that's why you get up, the feeling of his 'cum leaking out from you and streaming down your thighs quietly stirring up your not-yet-silent arousal.

You can't lie to yourself. It had felt good to feel him empty himself into you.

Right is the best word that comes to mind.

But it isn't right.

And the disconcerting truth of it is, that no matter how inebriating in the making, Eren Jaeger is a threat to everything you've come to hold dear.

" I gotta go" you mutter before the sight of him laying comfortably on his bed like that could arise in you the need to cuddle up to him and sleep it off.

You can't let yourself, nor him, delude into that fantasy.

" So that's it?" he lets out, one of his hands behind his back, his muscles flexing and his eyes appraising the view of you getting rid of his 'cum with a napkin you'd hurriedly gathered from your purse.

You sure as hell cannot fathom the possibility of showering at his place, it is way too dangerous of an idea, even if very appealing.

You stay silent, unable to conjure anything that could sound remotely appropriate at a moment like this.

" You gonna hit me up again when you'll realize he's not enough for you"

His words sound resolute and resigned, and they hang over the room like venom as you look at him, baffled.

He's calm and collected, even if his eyes betray a hint of dejection that he would never let anyone else ever catch onto. But they're unwavering as if he can predict your future to be intertwined with his.

How can he even stand to feel like that?

How can you?

You gather your things and go for the door, before he could turn even meaner, before he would show his true colors.

" Give Reiner my best, would 'ya?"

You stop short when you hear your fiancee's name. Your heartbeats racing, your breaths quickening at the realization that you had been right.

He'd been watching silently this whole time.

A chill runs up your spine as you close the door to his apartment shut behind you, and you swear to yourself, that no matter how tempting, you'll never give in to the need to see him ever again.

#eren smut #eren #eren jaeger #eren yaeger #eren x reader #dom!eren #toxic!eren #eren x you #eren imagine #imagine #smut #aot x reader #aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan x reader #snk x reader #aot smut #aot fanfiction

[cbrownjc]

HOTD possible spoiler (as well as some Fire and Blood ones) under the cut:

The person who posted the initial rumor/leak/spoiler is clarifying/sticking to it.

I've already talked about my problems with how this show has handled its black characters here (wrt Laena) and here when this Nettles rumor/leak first happened a few days ago.

Honestly, if this rumor really is true, I will pretty much be done with the show. Because aside from the racist angle the show just falls right into by doing something like this, it's also just lazy AF writing.

If the show wanted to make Rhaena a more active participant in the war that very easily can be done without making her a dragon rider. They could have her play a bigger role in helping in the survival of her family members, seeing that she, her sister, and her two little half-brothers are the only ones who do so (along with Corlys). Let her become the more politically savvy twin, using her status as a princess and such to form alliances, keep the Vale on the side of The Blacks, and things like that. Maybe even leading up to things like having her take the lead in ensuring that Corlys doesn't get executed for treason after the war is over.

But nope. Just make her a dragon rider during the conflict too. And hey, since she's black now, just have her replace the only book-canon black character in the story of the Dance, who was already speculated by some to be Daemon's bastard daughter anyway. Because all black people are just interchangeable anyway, right? 🙄 (That is if we're even bothering to give them character and story arcs in the first place; especially in comparison to their originally white book counterparts *cough*Laena*cough*).

So yeah, NGL I was already growing apathetic about the show before this, given how Leana, Rhaena, and Baela's characters were all handled in Season 1. Cutting out Nettles and just having Rhaena take her place? When the two characters are nothing alike, personality-wise?

Yeah, if this really is true then no thank you. I'll check out clips of the big moments -- Rook's Rest, Blood and Cheese, and whenever The Battle Above the God's Eye happens in some later season -- on YouTube or something. But actively watch episodes in full? Nope.

Again, I'll wait to full-out rant on this when it's 100% confirmed in some way. (And yes, such a rant very likely would include talking about how color-conscious casting & writing > > > > > > color-blind casting & writing; and using that to properly world build -- because yes that is possible even wrt a fantasy world like Westeros, which already has established places in its world where black people prominently lived and originated from.) Maybe waiting to do so is just me being in denial, IDK. But I'm kind of having deja vu wrt how I felt about the rumors circulating about Season 8 of GOT again. I just couldn't believe the writers were going to be that level of hack-lazy. And yet . . . .

I really had hopes that HBO had learned from that mistake and that the writing team and showrunners for this show wouldn't do something similar. But ever since I saw what happened to Laena's character, (and how her role in Rhaenrya's life -- when they were young -- was basically given to Alicent), I've been questioning if they really have . . . . or ever did. 🤷🏾‍♀️

#Nettles #House of the Dragon #hotd #hotd rumor #hotd spoiler #Fire and Blood #this show is going to make me feel like a fool for giving it a chance after GOT isn't it? #I'm beginning to feel like it is #race #writing

[parlerenfleurs]

Funny how I'm still able to believe I'll be above something only to simply, inexorably, be human, once again

#Bloom talks #I'm in a weird mood but I'm okay #just trying to de-tangle my own twisty mind #my own personnal pitfall as a personality trait is to think I am so emotionally mature #when actually I'm prone to be petty and jealous and withdrawn and unable to express myself #and most of the time I can handle all that and keep the situation afloat #but sometimes I can't #because I'm human #anyway I've been distancing myself from Pretty Girl for probably stupid reasons #but I have a hard time talking to her about it like an adult #it doesn't help that so much is going on in her life that I've just #given up the idea to take up space in it I think #ah that's the gist of it actually #rambling myself to realisation lol #Pretty Girl Who Maybe Wants to Kiss Me

[cerise-on-top]

Hiiii how are you doing love bug? I wanted to request something where farah notices spouse readers anxiety is high while there out at a celebration party thingy after a successful mission and helps them calm down

(Sorry if this is badly explained it’s my first time requesting something + I have adhd🫶🏻🫶🏻)

Hello! Don't worry, I got you! I hope this is what you wanted! I don't particularly know how to calm someone down, I can't even calm myself down usually, so I just swallow it all down until it goes away ^^;

Farah Senses Reader’s Anxiety

She would likely sense your anxiety as soon as she looked at you. Your eyes were wider open than usual, you’ve gone quiet, giving the occasional nod and smile and that’s it. Something was up, Farah knew you well enough by then to be able to tell. Yes, she may have been a highly coveted person at parties like these, but she could always make time for you, even while she was in the middle of a conversation with someone. As soon as you don’t seem to be doing well, don’t seem to be having fun anymore, she’ll take you somewhere quieter so she can talk to you and maybe help you calm down a bit.

Truth be told, Farah won’t particularly know what to do with you. Sure, she gets anxious at times as well, she leads an entire force, after all, but she usually calms herself down by taking a deep breath and sweeping all those negative thoughts under the rug. While it would be ridiculous to assume the same thing would work for you, she tries anyway. She may be good at building connections with other people, but she doesn’t particularly know how to calm someone down from severe anxiety. However, she will take your hands gently in hers, if you allow it, and will talk to you in the most tender tone you’ve ever heard from her. Her voice is audible still, but quieter than usual and she requests that you try to tune out everything else and only listen to her. While she won’t know what to say, she tries, talking about anything that comes to mind. The small lizard she saw on her way to the party, how she once was able to pet a bunny when she was small. Nice things that would take your mind off of the party. You will be leaving it soon enough, naturally, but before then, you need to calm down first.

If her distracting you doesn’t help, then she’ll try to breathe with you, gently asking you to breathe in, hold your breath for a few seconds, before breathing out again. This will be repeated a few times. If that doesn’t work either, then she will try the 54321 method. Granted, she doesn’t exactly know how it works and will mess it up. But who knows, maybe that will get you to laugh. Farah asks you to tell her what you’re seeing, hearing, feeling and so on and tries to crack jokes here and there to maybe get you to smile. Her attempt at distracting you from your anxiety still hasn’t ceased. Talks you through it all. However, if that doesn’t help either, then she’ll ask you what the source of your anxiety may be. If it’s the party then you’ll be going home immediately. Or, at the very least, get away from it as far as you can. If it’s something else then she’ll still try to help you somehow, reassuring you that she’ll do whatever she can to assist you. If it’s alright with you, then, after the party, you’ll go stargazing together. The vastness of the universe has always helped her calm down, and maybe she can tell you some stories she’s heard about the different constellations as well. Either way, she’ll be taking care of you as well as she can during the evening, until you calm down. And then you’ll be cuddling the night away, if you’re calm enough to want to be touched. Farah will hold you to her chest, hum a little lullaby and run her fingers through your hair.

#cod #cod x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #I don't really have to say much today either #except I probably have to get surgery soon enough to which I say boo #I'll have to go on sick leave again soon and I really don't wanna but it can't be helped #but that has time until after I've gotten my driver's license #Farah is a real sweetheart. she tries her hardest even if she doesn't know whether or not she will succeed #you're one of the most important people in her life so naturally she'll do what she can to make sure you're doing well #if a hug is what usually helps you then she will hug you don't worry. but anxious people don't always like that so I didn't write it #again Farah just distracts herself whenever she gets anxious. although she doesn't get as anxious anymore as she used #her anxiety used to be far worse when she was a kid but she's got it handled these days

[noahtally-famous]

not me popping back on here with a post after months of semi-inactivity (uni is being a bitch) just to reiterate how much i love writing the pahkitew island cast.

aside from sammy and amy (obviously), literally everyone else can be shipped with one another and it'd make sense to some degree, like it takes skill to create a group of people so inherently shippable (platonically and/or romantically) and ofc the writers didn't know it they just shoved a bunch of random ppl together and dusted their hands off on it but fr tho 😭

(yeah im planning out my leonave 'stranger things inspired' au, and the gears are turning, and i forgot just how much i love writing for this dumbass group)

(i swear im working on the next chapter of a guide to surviving the apocalypse too)

#no but i've way too many ideas lmaoo #i forgot ive a whole longass post in my drafts dedicated to ramblings abt this longfic and i came across it today ahaha #like amy leading a manhunt for leonard bc shes got everyone to think he killed her sister (who she didn't even like much smh) #and topher's one of the ppl involved and when shawn hears he's like “topher? yeah i can handle him dw” (possible tophawn minor pairing??) #and leonard's abt to get the equivalent of being burnt at the stake literally #when guess who shows up in a fucking mercedes of all cars #fucking dave #and he helps leonard escape narrowly by driving fast af and leonard's so confused bc like “i thought you'd be with those guys” #and get this: dave doesnt believe leonard killed sammy bc of his vehement belief that leonard doesn't know magic LMAOOO #and leonard doesnt know whether to be affronted or grudgingly thankful bc if it wasn't for dave's desire for everything to be normal #leonard would have been part of the witch trials 2.0 #and idk who's watched st but the plot is somewhat inspired by it #like shawn goes missing first and dave as his best friend is panicking abt it (in this one axel is shawns cousin???) #and then when they find him at last the weird deaths start leading to leonard finding sammy dead and this whole situation #and theres a whole different world underneath them and its up to leonard dave ella and sky to team up and prevent certain destruction #and theres slowburn leonave (with pining leonard and oblivious dave) #and leonard lives with his uncle whos understanding of his passions (unlike his dad who basically gave him away for the same reason) #and leonard's life is total opppsite from dave's #and they both know it #and omgggg this au has been a brainrot for so goddamn long #but idk why i just got a slew of ideas for it today #and like dave stays over at leonards at one point and leonard gives him his bed (like a gentleman) #and the next morning shawn barges in like “wheres my best friend” bc ever since he was taken he's been v paranoid abt losing the ppl he lov #and he hugs dave and daves like “how dirty are you rn” and shawns like “nothing yet i waited so that i can hug you when i see your dumb ass #and everyones like abt dave to leonard “idk if he's the right one for you” #but then later on dave saves his life by going a little bit unhinged classic dave-style #and ends up scaring a nurse and receptionist into retiring early #total drama #td leonard #td dave

[licorishh]

Most people really don't seem to understand that friendship is a two-way street.

They expect you to wait on them hand and foot as they rant about and constantly pour on you either their issues or their passions and when you finally have something you'd like to talk about you get a "Man that sucks :/" or a "Cool" in return.

Find somebody who doesn't do that. Then you'll have your best friend.

#i know i ramble sometimes and i'm extremely grateful that my best friend puts up with it :') #but see then in return i do the same for her because it would be completely unfair for me to expect her to act like a wall for me to talk a #or when i wanna show her something and i can tell she's being polite and it doesn't personally strike her fancy I MOVE ON #and she does the same for me and we have way frickin better communication and we have a frickin rad friendship #it's give and take #and also can we bring back the idea of being able to work through some things on your own? #like i am ALL FOR having a support system that can encourage you when things go wrong but some things can be solved on your own #i shouldn't be bearing the burden of figuring out your life for you you know? #i'm absolutely willing to help but if you're just going to spend all your time complaining to me and never ever take my advice #then there comes a point at which i'm literally just acting as your therapist and that's not how friendships are supposed to work #i've become kind of the designated therapist in a lot of friendships throughout my life #and it is exhausting constantly being complained at (sometimes over very minor things) #only to have that person or people COMPLETELY ignore your advice every single time you try to give it #that's not friendship my dude that's using me because you just want someone to complain to #like i said. support system good. treating your friend like an emotional punching bag to let out your problems 24/7 very very bad. #like when i was feeling completely unlike myself and irritated and frustrated for three dang years straight #i didn't really talk about it much because i knew it wasn't the kind of thing advice was going to fix #so i wasn't in the discord servers every two seconds “MAN I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD :///” #because when other people do this to me there comes a point at which i'm like “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT” #like i've given you all the advice i have and you have taken absolutely none of it nor have you taken any action on your own #so now i'm just here to make you feel better about yourself and that's really not my job #emotional support is necessary. patting you on the head when you refuse to do anything to better your situation is not. #tl;dr people who refuse to do anything to better their situation other than complain to ME about it 24/7 drive me nuts #and it drives other people nuts so please don't do it to anyone #don't bottle up your emotions but also don't let them come crashing down and drown everyone you know #just because you can't be bothered to put ANY effort forth to contain them #emotional regulation is attractive~~~ #society today has built such a culture of “it's not YOUR fault and if you cry about it hard enough someone will fix it for you” like no sir #sometimes it IS your fault and sometimes you DO need to take responsibility #and if it is your fault then absolutely no one but you is obligated to fix it

[thebleedingeffect]

.

#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere #one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions #so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so #despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself #and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral #it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me #not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared #and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her #I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else #but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult #and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side #to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side #she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences #and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control #religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk #having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe #she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough #I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike #and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends #because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting #now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side #it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks. #ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-

[holyviolence]

omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.

#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for #the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity. #i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING. #i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier. #and that's when my dad finally said it. #:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they #are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i #also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way #but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not #politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people #i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a #good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect #my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people #the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and #if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder.... #my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid #her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be #her friend. #idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad #bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change