#when guess who shows up in a fucking mercedes of all cars

[noahtally-famous]

not me popping back on here with a post after months of semi-inactivity (uni is being a bitch) just to reiterate how much i love writing the pahkitew island cast.

aside from sammy and amy (obviously), literally everyone else can be shipped with one another and it'd make sense to some degree, like it takes skill to create a group of people so inherently shippable (platonically and/or romantically) and ofc the writers didn't know it they just shoved a bunch of random ppl together and dusted their hands off on it but fr tho 😭

(yeah im planning out my leonave 'stranger things inspired' au, and the gears are turning, and i forgot just how much i love writing for this dumbass group)

(i swear im working on the next chapter of a guide to surviving the apocalypse too)

#no but i've way too many ideas lmaoo #i forgot ive a whole longass post in my drafts dedicated to ramblings abt this longfic and i came across it today ahaha #like amy leading a manhunt for leonard bc shes got everyone to think he killed her sister (who she didn't even like much smh) #and topher's one of the ppl involved and when shawn hears he's like “topher? yeah i can handle him dw” (possible tophawn minor pairing??) #and leonard's abt to get the equivalent of being burnt at the stake literally #when guess who shows up in a fucking mercedes of all cars #fucking dave #and he helps leonard escape narrowly by driving fast af and leonard's so confused bc like “i thought you'd be with those guys” #and get this: dave doesnt believe leonard killed sammy bc of his vehement belief that leonard doesn't know magic LMAOOO #and leonard doesnt know whether to be affronted or grudgingly thankful bc if it wasn't for dave's desire for everything to be normal #leonard would have been part of the witch trials 2.0 #and idk who's watched st but the plot is somewhat inspired by it #like shawn goes missing first and dave as his best friend is panicking abt it (in this one axel is shawns cousin???) #and then when they find him at last the weird deaths start leading to leonard finding sammy dead and this whole situation #and theres a whole different world underneath them and its up to leonard dave ella and sky to team up and prevent certain destruction #and theres slowburn leonave (with pining leonard and oblivious dave) #and leonard lives with his uncle whos understanding of his passions (unlike his dad who basically gave him away for the same reason) #and leonard's life is total opppsite from dave's #and they both know it #and omgggg this au has been a brainrot for so goddamn long #but idk why i just got a slew of ideas for it today #and like dave stays over at leonards at one point and leonard gives him his bed (like a gentleman) #and the next morning shawn barges in like “wheres my best friend” bc ever since he was taken he's been v paranoid abt losing the ppl he lov #and he hugs dave and daves like “how dirty are you rn” and shawns like “nothing yet i waited so that i can hug you when i see your dumb ass #and everyones like abt dave to leonard “idk if he's the right one for you” #but then later on dave saves his life by going a little bit unhinged classic dave-style #and ends up scaring a nurse and receptionist into retiring early #total drama #td leonard #td dave

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

concert, part 1

part 1 here (cw: age gap)

👑 (king): can I come pick you up? Me: yeah, sure, I’m almost ready 👑 (king): good, be there in 10

I look down at his text, smiling to myself, then I get myself ready. Checking my makeup, checking if I have everything in my little bag. Then I wait for him, nervously tapping my foot, thinking about our interactions over the last week.

I haven't seen him since the bar, we've just been texting and my god. He isn’t the biggest texter, but he never fails to answer a single one of my messages. Setting a new standard for sure.

My first message he answered within five minutes, making it a deal and asking me for the details on the concert. And then I had to send him all of my favourite songs, not just by Lorna Shore, but all the bands I talked about that he didn’t yet know. We were just talking about all the topics we could think about.

Like I wanted to know what accent it was that laced through his words when talking English and he told me that he actually was from Austria. I’ve never met someone who was from this country, so naturally I was curious. Especially why he lived here then and didn’t go back to Austria for his leave, which he just answered with a simple “I don’t have anything to go back to.” I didn’t want to pry, so I left it at that.

And he asked me what I did for a living and all my little hobbies. I could talk about those all day long, so there was a lot of back and forth (maybe a little bit more back from me than it was forth from him). I still was curious about his job as well, but I was too afraid to be called nosy again.

By the third day I got confident enough to accompany my messages with pictures. And no, not that kind of pictures. I just snap moments during my day and just them to him. My morning coffee, some scenery from my commute, a screengrab from the game I’m playing in the evening. Because I want to show what’s going on during my day.

It’s nice. It feels nice to talk to him. And we’re still kind of shy, holding back, but some of the texts even get flirty. My favourite thing to do during last week was to call him old every chance I got. Just to get a rise out of him.

I can’t help but feel that the last message has a double entendre. Like I should be the one worrying about keeping up. With him.

The doorbell rings and I go to open my door. It swings open and I almost rear back when his hulking figure towers over me. My god, I have forgotten how huge he is. I mean, I only saw it once when he got up from the table.

He's wearing the same worn leatherjacket and a shirt underneath. A Lorna Shore shirt. He got it right on time for the concert. I know because he sent me a picture when the package arrived.

"Hi.", I say looking up at him.

"Hi yourself.", he answers with a smile. "Looking good."

"Thanks.", I say as I do a little twirl for him, my skirt swaying while I do the turn. When I land on my two feet again, my DocMartens stomping onto the floor, I see his gaze wander up my body.

His lids are hooded, his mouth is slightly opened and I can see the row of strong teeth blink through. Our eyes meet and I feel a zap of excitement running down my spine. It just got harder to breathe. Because he looks at me like I would taste good. It’s actually making me a bit nervous. And I don’t think anybody ever looked at me like that.

“What?”, I throw in his direction, swaying from one foot to the other.

"Nothing…” is all he says, shaking his head. But it doesn’t feel like nothing. “Come on, let's get going. You have the tickets?", he asks.

I point at the little bag clasped to my belt. "Got everything in here." He nods and gestures me to exit the flat. I do so and lock the door behind me, following him down to the street where his car is parked.

It’s a Mercedes G-wagon. A fucking G-wagon. I don’t know which car I suspected, but I guess not this one. Although it makes sense when I see him right next to it. The kind of military look of the car, the colour (black, of course), it being quite an expensive brand, but also an older model, judging from the wear on the outside. Also a spacious enough car for a big man like him.

He stops at the passenger side and opens the door for me. And I can't help but melt a little. The gentlemanly gesture with him looking just like he looks. The big stature, the worn leatherjacket with the tattooed hands showing, the slight aura of danger around him that makes much more sense since I know he’s a soldier, that part of him not fully vanishing even when he’s on leave. The timid smile he gives me when I thank him for holding the door open for me emphasizing the contrast between his hard looking exterior and the softer core.

He waits for me to climb up into the seat, shutting the door for me and going around the car, to the driver's side. I snuggle into the leather of the car seat and look around a bit. His scent engulfs me, a warm, manly note, and I suppress a sigh. This man is just too much, and I'm going to a concert with him.

He gets in and starts the car which also turns on the sound system and a flurry of guitar sounds, drums and the distinguished voice of Chuck Schuldiner blasts from the speakers. I recognize the song instantly. "Oh, I love Spirit Crusher. The whole album actually."

He grins at me. "I thought so, that's why I put it on." He hands me the CD sleeve. "I bought this when I was like... maybe 16 or 17?"

"Oh my god, really?", I exclaim, inspecting the case. I turn to him pointing at the release date on the back, a mischievous grin forming on my lips. "That's the year I was born."

He sighs and rolls his eyes, snatching the CD case from me. "Yeah, yeah, we've already established that I'm old, ancient even." I bite back a laugh, doing a bad job at it. He leans forward, inching closer to my face. “Now what’s so funny, huh?”

I shake my head still grinning. “Nothing.” I pause for effect. “Old man.”, I add teasingly.

His gaze is burning into me. “Uh-huh, ain’t that right.” The slightly threatening undertone is not lost on me and it makes me shift in my seat.

He doesn’t say anything else, just pulls out of the parking space, and drives us to the concert location. The atmosphere gets a little bit more relaxed when he asks me about how work has been today (because we haven’t texted about that yet). I go on a rant because work really has been kicking my ass lately and my boss keeps getting on my nerves. So the car ride to the venue is filled with me explaining all of the details of what’s going on which would’ve have been too much to type out.

I’m still complaining about my boss’s antics when we enter the tall concert building. I show our tickets to the security guys at the entrance and they check us for stuff that you can’t bring into the venue. Well, they check me without hesitation, the security lady patting me down and taking a look into the little bag I have with me.

The security guy that has the pleasure of checking him hesitates for more than just a bit and I can see the little grin on König’s face as he’s towering over him, almost a head taller, and looking the most intimidating I’ve seen him yet.

“Don’t worry, he doesn't bite.”, I joke with the security guard who rolls his eyes, but finally goes to pat down the big guy.

König’s grin turns mischievous, looking down at him while he’s being checked. “Only if asked to.”, he says, glancing at me. And then he fucking winks. And I almost trip over my own feet. I steady myself, going down the stairs, taking a deep breath to calm myself down. Because that planted an image in my head I wasn’t ready for.

He catches up to me. “I’ll drop my jacket off and then we can get a beer?”, he suggests and I nod, following his lead. His hand drops to the small of my back, guiding me as we maneuver through the crowds of people. And I try to ignore how this light touch is making me feel.

We get in line at the bar and something I wanted to talk to him about burns at the tip of my tongue. Especially now that I’ve seen the expression on his face when somebody pushes past me, accidently brushing against me.

“Can you promise me something?”, I ask, putting on my nicest face to heighten the chances of him agreeing to it.

His lips curl into a sly smile when he sees the way I’m looking at him. “That depends on what you want me to promise.”

“Please don't stomp on any of the people if they bump into me.”, I tell him.

“Hm, I don't know if I can promise that.”, he answers with an honest tone in his voice, but the mischief in his eyes is telling a different story. “I have to look out for my concert companion, don’t I?”

“Well, can you at least leave them in one piece? I wanna leave the concert a free woman and not an accomplice to murder.”, I explain, not even taking myself seriously.

He laughs. “I think, we can arrange that.” He playfully nudges me with his arm and I almost topple over because I didn’t expect that. An “Oh shit” drops from his lips while his hands reach for my waist to steady me, and my first reaction is to hold onto him. His arm to be exact. My fingers grab onto his lower arms and I can feel the strong cords of muscle beneath my fingertips. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“, he says.

I shake my head, interrupting him. “Don’t apologize, it takes more to break me.” Which sounds completely wrong and dirty in my mind, now that I think about it. But the sentence already left my lips. He doesn’t say anything, but I can feel his heated gaze on me, even when I don’t look up at him, still holding onto his arm when we reach the front of the line. Ordering beers that he pays for, just like we agreed to. I snatch up the two glasses and head to a quieter corner.

König isn't a big talker, although he seems more relaxed now, so it's still mostly me yapping about stuff that comes to my mind while we wait for the concert to start, him asking questions in between, nodding along, listening, and sipping his beer.

"I'm sorry, I feel like I’m talking too much.", I finally interrupt myself, smiling up at him apologetically.

He shakes his head. "No, it's fine, don't worry about it. I like hearing you talk." And his words make me blush and actually shut up for a brief moment where I can just smile into my beer and bask in the compliment.

“I think they’re starting soon, you want to go in?”, he asks me, smiling down at me.

“Yes, we can do that.”, I nod and we make our way into the hall. It’s already packed, but with König it’s easy because the crowd parts, looking up at the tall man when he passes. We find a spot that’s more in the back of the room, so he doesn’t obstruct the view of too many people.

I stand right in front of him, looking up at him, to see him scanning the people around us, observing every little bit that’s going on. His arm wraps around my waist, in theory a small little gesture. But his touch makes me light up, his fingertips softly digging into my hips. His fingers stroking ever so slightly, skimming over the fabric of my skirt, seemingly not even thinking about it. And I take the chance to lean myself against him, feigning the same innocence as he does.

Suddenly, the symphonic part of 'Welcome Back, O’ Sleeping Dreamer' starts playing over the speaker and the concert begins. I smile up at him and jump up and down all excited, pulling at his shirt to get his reaction. He laughs, even though I don’t hear the sound because the whole room erupts in cheers and shouts, only getting louder when the band comes on stage and the drums and guitars set in.

I get the impression that he’s enjoying it as well and the smile on my face gets even wider when he starts headbanging with the crowd. And it makes me happy to see him like that. The music sweeps me up and carries me away and I start to move with the harsh sounds blasting from the speakers.

What I don't know or see is the way he's looking at me when I scream the lyrics from the top of my lungs. How mesmerized he seems when I jump and mosh to the next song, dancing without a care in the world. How my wild and energetic euphoria of being at a concert infects him, even if he's still being a bit self-conscious.

It's been a long time since he actually has been to a concert. And he hasn't been all too sure why he even offered to go with me other than seizing the opportunity to see me again. But right now, standing in the crowd experiencing the thrill of live music once again, he remembers why he enjoyed it so much when he was younger.

to be continued - the concert is not over yet!

part 3 or more stuff in the Masterlist

#metalhead!könig #she likes the dark #könig #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig fanfiction #cod mw2 smut #könig smut #konig smut #cod smut #könig x reader #tw: age gap

[captainremmington-13]

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

show!Luke Castellan x daughter of thanatos!reader

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the image above or any of Rick Riordan’s characters/world-building.

⚠️Warnings⚠️: swearing, mentions of death, making out (not NSFW), a small argument, mention of a sexual joke but it’s not even actually said

A/N: this may be my favorite chapter so far

“I…I think you’ve got the hang of it, angel.”

“Yeah,” you laughed under your breath, wiping the sweat from your forehead. “Me too.”

You were standing in a clearing in the middle of the woods, at least a half-mile from any civilization. You were surrounded by shrubs, flowers, and grass, all of which you’d killed just by extending your hand and wiling it to die. 

It had been two days since you’d first discovered this new ability. You and Luke had made it to Nevada without many problems, only encountering a few weak monsters during the train ride. You were more concerned with figuring out the powers that had randomly appeared.

Luke had been nothing but supportive. He continued to prove himself as your greatest ally, and an incredible boyfriend. 

He had lead you to the quiet spot in the woods where you currently resided, doing his best to give you pointers regarding how to experiment with your powers. Neither of you had any idea what you were doing, but you assumed that if you were careful enough, you’d be fine. 

And you were. You’d successfully gotten a grip on your ability, which you’d nicknamed “the death thing”. You knew that you had to channel some form of extreme emotion for it to work, whether it was anger, fear, or hatred. 

If you could control those feelings, you could control your powers. 

Luke walked towards you, a small smile on his face. He gave you a quick kiss, and handed you a bottle of Gatorade. 

“I’m so proud of you, angel.” 

You grin, taking a big gulp of the energy drink. “Thanks. Honestly, I’m pretty proud of myself too. I almost passed out the first couple of times, but I realized that if I don’t overcompensate and channel more of my power than is required, I’ll be fine.”

Luke rubbed your back gently, and took the Gatorade bottle once you were done drinking. He finished it quickly, and placed it back in his backpack. “I’ll recycle this later,” he said, most likely to himself. It was an adorable habit he had, talking to himself to ensure that he remembered things.

“So,” you leaned down and grabbed your own backpack, along with your weapon. “Back to traveling?“

Luke nodded. “Yeah, but there’s no public transport that’s going directly to where we need to be. So…”

You smiled, linking arms with him. “Let me guess. You’re gonna steal us a car.” 

“Right as always, baby.”

You blushed, looking up at your boyfriend. Somehow he was cute and insanely fucking hot at the same time. You knew that he would tease you for getting flustered, but you didn’t mind. 

After all, when you did something he found attractive, he would get just as lovesick. 

So it all evened out eventually. 

.

.

.

Thanks to his knack for thievery, Luke managed to steal a nice Mercedes-Benz. You made yourself comfortable in the passengers seat, flipping your boyfriend off when he called you a passenger princess. 

“You’re the only one out of us two who can drive, Castellan,” you said snarkily, popping a piece of candy in your mouth. “Unless you wanna let me drive without having any practice, you’re gonna be the designated chauffeur.”

Luke rolled his eyes, but leaned over to give you a kiss. Thankfully, the light was red, or else you would’ve definitely ended up in a car wreck. 

“You’re lucky I love you so much, angel,” he said, giving your thigh an affectionate pat. “I wouldn’t let anyone else boss me around like that.”

You giggled, placing your hand over his, which still rested on your upper leg. “I’m honored to be the only person who can give you orders.” 

He smiled cockily. “You should be.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes. “You’re so arrogant sometimes, you know?“

“At leadt it’s warranted,” he replied, speeding up the vehicle slightly. “I mean, I am pretty fucking awesome.” 

“You sound like a dork.”

He snorted. “Okay, how else am I supposed to word it?”

“Maybe something more like ‘I’m an insanely good swordsman and a dangerously hot individual.’ It’s more obnoxious, but at least it’s not as awkward-sounding.”

Luke smirked, his lips curling upwards. “Dangerously hot, hm? I can imagine you drooling over me internally. I wouldn’t mind you doing it externally, though-“

“Castellan!” you shrieked, slapping him on the arm. “What the fuck has gotten into you?”

Your reaction only made his expression more smug. “I could make a very dirty joke, but I have a feeling you’d throw me out of the car if I did.”

You shook your head, avoiding his intense gaze to attempt to subdue the heat rushing to your cheeks. “You’re impossible.”

“You love me, though.”

“Yeah, I do, unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?”

“I’m kidding, Castellan. You know that I love you, and only you.”

Luke’s grip on your thigh tightened slightly, sending a warm shock through your body.

“That’s much better.” 

________________________________________________

Several hours of driving later, you and Luke were sprawled out in the roomy trunk of the Mercedes-Benz. It was wide enough that both of you could lie down without feeling too cramped. A couple blankets covered you both, insulating the body heat you radiated.

“Luke?” you whispered softly. “You still awake?”

You heard him groan quietly, and roll over to face you. 

“Yeah, angel, what d’you need?” 

Maybe it was the sleepiness getting to you, but you practically melted at his caring words. “You’re not close enough to me.”

He let out a short laugh, and immediately placed a hand on the small of your back, pulling you flush against his chest. “That better?”

“Mhm,” you murmured, your body finally relaxing now that you were in his arms. 

“You ok?” he asked, stroking your hair softly. “I know today was a long day, I’m sure you’re exhausted.” 

“I am,” you replied. “But it was worth it. I can finally stop freaking out about the death thing. I’m just concerned that the other campers are gonna start seeing me as a monster again once they find out about it.”

“I doubt that your closer friends will,” Luke said reassuringly. “I know for sure that Annabeth and Chris will treat you the same.”

“I suppose,” you said. “I’m still gonna try to avoid using the death thing when I can. It’s pretty safe at camp, there should be no reason to use it.” 

“Makes sense. And if anyone gives you shit about it, let me know. I’ll mess them up real good, I promise.”

You smiled, bring your face closer to his. He cupped your cheek, and pressed his lips with yours. The kiss was slow but heated, and you could feel the romantic tension rising rapidly. Luke’s hands, which were calloused and slightly rough from years of training, slipped under your tank top, rubbing circles on your back with his fingers. It felt so fucking good. The combination of his soothing touch and his soft lips, which were now placing kisses on your jawline and neck, was practically driving you insane. 

Luke let out a quiet sigh, moving his hands down to grip your waist gently. He pulled his mouth away from your neck to whisper, “Is this okay?”

You nodded quickly. “Please, please don’t stop.”

Luke immediately resumed kissing your neck, moving down to your collarbone. Your hand wandered towards his hair, running your fingers through his curls. 

For what seemed like hours, you and Luke exchanged kisses and loving touches. You swore that nothing, not even the Isle of the Blest, could make you this happy.

Finally, you felt your eyelids get heavy, and your mind become fuzzier and slower. When he noticed this, Luke removed his lips from your skin. They were slightly swollen, but as pretty as ever. 

“Time for sleep, angel,” he said lovingly, pulling the blanket tighter around your bodies. “If you have nightmares, don’t hesitate to wake me up, ok?”

You hummed in agreement. Snuggling closer to Luke, you closed your eyes and let out a deep sigh. 

“G’night, Luke. Love you.“

“Love you too, angel.”

________________________________________________

At the crack of dawn, you and Luke were on the road again. You only had about a day left of travel before you reached the Garden. 

As you finally crossed the California border, you decided it was time to start brainstorming a plan to steal a golden apple. Winging it would be a stupid idea, especially because of the fearsome guardian that protected the magical tree.

“We could create a diversion,” you suggested. “I’ll distract the dragon, and you get the apple. Then, we flee before we get our faces melted off.”

“No,” Luke said firmly. “You’re not putting yourself in that much danger by dealing with a full-grown dragon.” 

“Luke, I can handle it. Besides, I can fly, I can lead it away from-“

“You can’t out-fly Ladon. He’s incredibly fast, you’ll be killed within minutes.”

You huffed. “Why does everything in our lives have to be so damn complicated?”

Luke reached out to grasp your hand. “Angel, I understand where your frustration is coming from, trust me. But let’s try to focus on the task at hand, so we can come up with a rational plan.”

You averted your eyes from him, feeling slightly embarrassed at your small outburst. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Luke said, keeping your hands entwined. “I think it would be best for me to be the distraction. I’ll deal with the Hesperides and Ladon. Try to have a friendly conversation with them, pretending to just be interested in admiring the tree. Then, as soon as I see that you have the apple, we’ll retreat.”

“That sounds like a decent idea,” you said. “But what if we can’t retreat fast enough?”

“Then we fight.”

“I don’t like our odds. Besides, it would make Zeus and Hera very angry.”

“Since when did you care about how they felt?”

“I don’t! I just don’t want their wrath to get us killed, that’s all.”

“Fair enough.“

There was silence for a few moments, as you both struggled to come up with a better solution.

Then, you spoke.

“I’ll teleport us out of there.”

Luke let out a short bark of laughter. “Good one, angel.“

“I’m not joking. I did some research a couple months back, and my fath-I mean Thanatos can teleport. That’s how he gets around the world so quickly to collect souls. I think that if I try hard enough, I can-“

“No!” Luke snapped, making you recoil slightly. His face softened immediately, his expression molding into one of guilt. “I’m sorry, angel, I didn’t mean to yell. I just…I don’t want you dying because of a quest Hermes sent us on. You deserve to live a full life, and if it got cut off because of me-“

“Okay, okay,” you cut him off, looking down at your feet. “I get it. Forget I mentioned it.”

Luke sighed. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to lash out like that.” 

“It’s fine. I know you just want me to be safe.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “But I’ll try to keep my temper under control. I don’t ever wanna take my anger out on you.”

“Me neither,” you admitted. “Especially since I know it can have some really dangerous consequences.” You rested a hand on his forearm, looking at him lovingly. “I promise I’ll try my best to avoid getting hurt, but you better keep yourself out of trouble too.” 

Luke laughed, giving you a teasing smile that made your heart flutter. “Is that a threat?”

“Maybe.”

“You don’t need to threaten me to get me to listen to you, baby.“

“Oh I know,” you replied, giving him a playful grin of your own. “All I have to do is bat my eyelashes and give you a pleading look, and I have you wrapped around my little finger.”

Luke’s cheeks turned a pale shade of pink, making you smile wider. “Where’d you learn that from?“

“Lola and Layla from the Aphrodite cabin. They’ve promised to teach me all their tricks eventually.”

He huffed. “You’re gonna be the death of me one day, you know that?”

You giggled, resting your head back against the headrest of the car seat. “At least you’ll die happy then.”

Luke chuckled, glancing at the sign overhead that read 300 miles to San Francisco. 

“Yeah, I’m sure I will.”

taglist: @orionspaperwork, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @marvelescvpe, @lovingjasontoddmakemewanttocry, @louweasleymalfoy, @stars4birdie, @stargurl-battleship, @daughterofthemoons-stuff

Thank you for reading! Pls let me know what you think in the comments!!!

Ok so I decided against adding another monster fight in this chapter, I just REALLY wanted to write fluffy stuff instead💀💀I promise there will be more action in the next installment

Let me know in the comments if you want to be added to the taglist!

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan x you #luke castellan series #pjo tv show #pjo fandom #pjo #pjo series #rick riordan #demigods #thanatos

[lestappenforever]

I’ve just watched a couple of the TPs post race reactions, as well as saw the strategies that the teams used and we can conclude a couple of things from it:

The Mercedes power unit had quiet a noticeable presence today, especially with Williams, who fun fact, also take a lot of the legal components that they are allowed from Mercedes, according to James Vowles (Zak Brown, where did you dip to now). Alex and Logan both had the pace, and could have been in points today. But the power units on both the cars, in addition to Logan’s steering wheel caused them the race. But the issues were not only in the Williams, Mercedes themselves had issues, with the batteries not working properly or dying. Mercedes, what is wrong with the power units after securing multiple multi year contracts?

You can take the man out of Ferrari but not the Ferrari out of the man (Laurent Mekies I’m looking at you). The way RB handled today’s race was actually shit. Again this team was close to points, even closer than the Williams with Yuki P11. But the way they handled the race, and especially in those last few laps, just proves that Laurent still doesn’t have the handles of how Red Bull teams work, he’s, you could say, still stuck in the Ferrari haze. The car is actually good, which we saw in testing and the data, but the team handling was just shit today, and with this, Red Bull could overlook both of them, even drop one of the 2, for Liam, who was promised (maybe even signed?) a seat for 2025.

Nico is absolutely unlucky, and that is a ghost that is hunting him down. Man had a good start, but that collision with Lance cost him his race, which he could have finished in the point. Also, that Haas has pace, it’s not so bad. Let’s see if the absence of Guenther and the presence of a more technical TP is going to impact the team.

Zhou is impressive. He gained quiet a lot, with gaining 6 places and the car is not that great. I did not know his game.

Ferrari pulled a Ferrari. That’s all that could be said. Charles was very confident yesterday. He even was visibly very upset with the fact that he got P2, to today. Like, yes we don’t know if there was something, but fucking it up to the extent that the car is dangerous to even stop. This man just signed a fucking multi year contract, don’t make him regret it.

And finally, we now understand Red Bull’s runs. The runs that were only (or mainly) on C1, C2 and C3 only. They were able to properly visualize the race. And the fact that we saw how everyone in Red Bull expected the car to be slower shows that they have cooked (Adrain Newey, looks like you did it again). And the fact that these runs of Free Practices and Testing showed correct data of this track, not really focusing on topping the time sheets or any of that shit. They put their heads down and focused on the time sheets that mattered, focusing one race at a time, as well as visualize how the car is going to be and how it will work and react, gathering the data needed for checking the car (in football terms: partido a partido).

So yeah, these are kind of my initial post race analysis. Still want to geek more, but I guess this is enough for now?

(I wasn’t going to be able to sleep until I got this off my brain or I would have been overthinking all night long)

I love this analysis so much.

The way VCARB fucked Yuki over by forcing him to let Daniel overtake and proceeding to not even being able to overtake the fucking Haas in front of him is absolutely appalling. I know Yuki has some temper issues he definitely needs to work on when he's in the car, but I fully support his anger this time. The move was completely uncalled for, and VCARB desperately need to realize that they can't put their eggs in the wrong basket. No matter what his die-hard fans say, Daniel is not the future of F1 and Red Bull.

With the exception of Max pulling a very Max race and being superior to the rest of the grid, my favorite part of yesterday's race was definitely Zhou. He did so well, and it was such a pleasure to see him finish P11. I really hope this season will be good for him because I so desperately want him to succeed.

Ferrari being Ferrari was, sadly, not even remotely surprising. But, it's only the first race of the season and Charles still being able to drag that broken fucking car to P4 is impressive as hell.

Red Bull has handled testing and the first race weekend masterfully, and their 1-2 finish yesterday was truly deserved. I have a feeling this season will be a good one for them, even if their domination might not be quite as extreme.

(I hope you've had a great night's sleep, lovely. ❤️)

#Asks #agentofchaos001 #agentofchaos001 ❤️ #Bahrain GP 2024

[call-me-eds]

Girls Freak Me Out

Masterlist

Eddie x Reader

After graduating, Eddie isn’t as in the loop with the Hawkins population, especially when someone new comes to town.

Have you heard about the new girl on the block, in her black out benz? With her old school kicks and her hipster friends, got a peace sign in hand. She’s everything you want and all you hated, well dressed and overrated. Some girls freak me out.

“Who the hell is that?” Eddie asked. He was in Steve’s driveway, dropping off an extension cord he had borrowed for a show last week. They had become close recently, drawn together by a pushy 14-year old.

Eddie was looking across the street at a girl he had never seen before. Leaning over the hood of your car, you were taking advantage of the unseasonably warm September day in Hawkins to give it a wash. There were nice cars littering Steve’s street, but your custom Mercedes Benz with black detailing was beautiful. Almost enough to distract Eddie from the person washing it. 

“New neighbor,” Steve explained. You kept fussing with her hair to move it out of your eyes, off of your neck, so Eddie only got flashes of what you looked like. What he could, see, though, he was already enamored with.

“Jeez, stop staring, she’ll call the cops on you.” Eddie rolled his eyes and shoved the wire into Steve’s arms.

“What’s her name?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I haven’t met her yet. Let’s go over,” Steve started walking down the driveway but Eddie grabbed his shoulder to stop him, the sudden reality of speaking to you dropping his heart into his stomach.

It had taken Eddie weeks to be able to call Steve, Robin, and Nancy friends. The jury was still out on Jonathon. The voice in the back of his head was constantly making him wonder what he would do to fuck it all up. Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will were easy, they had D&D. Max and Eleven were harder to read, with their guarded exteriors, but he knew once Max started teasing him the way she did Steve and Eleven said that she liked the man screaming through his radio, that he could consider them buddies, as well.

“Now who’s the creep? Going over to introduce yourself while she’s in barely any clothes, all soaped up,” he sighed and ripped his eyes away, actually starting to be worried that you could feel his glance. Steve shrugged and let it go, but neither of them had to wait long to make their introductions.

The car that had been at the center of Eddie’s dreams screeched into the parking spot outside of the record store. It drew his attention from the Slayer album in his hands, and you bounding through the door kept his eyes up.

“‘Scuse me,” you said, reaching around him to finger through the records. He moved back a step and you continued to hum whatever song was coming through your headphones. When he was looking at you from the safety of Steve’s driveway, he couldn’t make out your specific features. Now, he was close enough to see the birthmark on your shoulder, the way your nose slanted to the right, the color of your eyes.

He had no clue what to say to you, or if he should say anything at all. He could tell your shoes were real leather, not the fake plastic blend he had on his body. You looked like the kind of person that would ridicule him in the hall, but the way you didn’t just shove past him made him second guess his instincts. He had to know more.

“Hey, you’re my new neighbor!” Eddie had left Steve on the other side of the store, with the top 40 records, but of course he popped back up. He was like a fungus. “I’m Steve, great to meet you,” he held out his hand and you laughed a little before shaking it.

“I’m Y/N,” you turned towards Eddie next. He expected a greeting, but you couldn’t ignore the way he had been looking at you the last five minutes. “Is there something on my face?” you asked. 

“Nope,” Eddie shook his head and looked back down, quickly glancing at the record in your hands.

“What? Got a problem with The Smiths?”. He shook his head again and willed himself to think of more than one word to say to you, but Steve beat you to it.

“So, how you liking Hawkins so far?” Most of the time, Eddie hated Steve’s charm, but now he was thankful for it. He could entertain you while he just stood there, like an idiot.

Again, he was staring at you, eyes trailing over the brand on your sunglasses, the big purse, and the jeans that looked like they were hand-stitched to your body. You looked like everyone he absolutely could not stand, but he needed to know everything about you. The way you were so confident and immediately came for his throat, he had never met anyone like you.

“Alright, so we’ll see you later,” Steve smiled, clapping a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and breaking him out of his trance. “Let’s roll, Munson, I’m going to be late for work.”

“Eddie,” he said, finally speaking more than one syllable to you, even if it was just his name. “My name’s Eddie. If you ever need a hookup for some herbal let me know. But I can get my hands on pretty much anything.” He never outright offered his services like that, much less in a public space or when the sun was still out. Everyone knew that if they needed drugs, they should go to him. He worried he was too forward, outright assuming you were on the hunt for drugs from a stranger. Before he could apologize, you nodded and looked him up and down.

“Good to know, I will definitely be taking you up on that.” You scared the shit out of him.

Well daddy’s little girl knows how to party, she’s singing “Pour Some Sugar On Me.” She’s well versed in the new pop culture, always rolls with a camera by her side. Well, some girls just freak me out.

The next time Eddie spoke to you, you were standing on Steve’s coffee table, screaming the latest Def Leppard song as it pumped from the speakers. It was a little colder outside, now, but you were still in a cut off t-shirt and short skirt. He couldn’t look away. Well, until you pointed right at him. 

Eddie looked over his shoulder to make sure that you weren’t calling someone that you actually had given an indication to liking. When he turned back to you, you nodded and beckoned him over. 

“How can I help you?” he yelled over the music, reaching his hand up to help you down. It was already a vast improvement from your last interaction; the weed he had smoked let him talk to you without choking on his tongue. You grabbed his hand tightly and jumped down, stumbling a bit on your landing, but Eddie held you up.

“Have any of that fun stuff you mentioned?” you asked, cocking your head to the side. He should have guessed, it was the only thing you knew about him.

When Eddie was at a typical Hawkins party, he knew his role. He was there to keep quiet, give people drugs, and try to swipe a few valuables he could pawn. At Steve’s parties, he could take a breather and enjoy himself, not having to worry about fitting into the box people shoved him in. He was safe here.

That didn’t mean he came unprepared.

“Let me run outside and get my box out of my van,” he said, prepared to dash out of the house and return before you could change her mind about talking to him.

“I’ll come with you, I’m sweating bullets in here,” you pinched your shirt and waved it away from your body, trying to cool down.

“Okay,” Eddie looked up, trying not to focus on the flashes of your bra he was getting. He led you through the house, and with you still being a new presence in town and him being, well, him, you got out the door without much resistance. When he opened the van door, he tried to block your view of the garbage that littered his backseat.

“Here we go,” he propped the metal lunchbox on his knee and popped it open. “Pick your poison.” You stepped closer and peered inside, the liquor-induced confidence allowing you to pick through the little bags.

“That’s pretty,” you grinned, poking at a small baggie with pink pills. He didn’t think that he ever had someone go off of sight before.

“That definitely does not mix well with alcohol,” he warned, noticing how you were swaying on your feet. 

“Well, what does and costs less than $20?” you asked, fishing a bill out from somewhere he couldn’t see. Eddie was no stranger to offering pretty girls free drugs, but never on a first sale. If he set that precedent, then he would never make any money.

“20 bucks? For you, anything in here. But my suggestion is to take it easy so you can enjoy the party,” he pointed to one of the joints that Robin insisted on separating into their own bags. She claimed ‘presentation was key’. He couldn’t deny that his customers appreciated the speedier sale times. 

“For me?” you repeated. A deep blush settled into Eddie’s cheeks. 

“Well, you’re Harrington’s new neighbor. I want to make sure that you feel welcome to the neighborhood,” he explained. You smiled, knowing that you made him feel a bit uncomfortable. Any time he saw you in town or across the street from Steve’s, he met your wave with a curt nod and picking up his pace. He didn’t mean to be rude, but he genuinely had no idea how to act around you.

Even though kids your age didn’t typically judge their drugs off of sight, people were a totally different situation, and you seemed to twist his expectations around again. You didn’t shy away when you saw him, Steve even said that she asked if you were from the neighborhood, too, and Eddie wanted to die when he learned that Steve told you the truth about where he lived.

“I would probably feel more welcome if you didn’t run away every time I saw you,” you teased, leaning against his car.

“I’m sorry about that. You just, make me nervous,” he shrugged. God, that was a lame excuse. You laughed, though, and he knew that he would say anything to make you giggle again.

“Get to know me, and I promise, I’m not that scary.” Usually, that was his line; it was nice to hear it from someone else..

She’s the sweetest, the sweetest thing but I know she’s no good for me. Gonna take you home and take off your clothes, Baby, I’m nothing but bad news.

“No, I’m serious, this is witchcraft!” You had been seeing a lot of each other as the fall changed to winter, although Eddie never wore more than his leather jacket. After a bout with a nasty cold, he accepted one of the scarves you knit in your free time, conceding that maybe he could cover up a bit more. 

Now, you were attempting to teach him to knit himself, but he mostly just ended up knotting your yarn and using your needles to scratch his back.

“Just pay attention,” you sighed, grabbing his hands and trying to contort them in a way totally unnatural to him. Despite the fire crackling in your living room, your hands were freezing. He jumped back a little before dropping the project, an attempted hat, and grabbing your fingers, instead. 

“Christ, did you just take these things out of the freezer?” he asked. You rolled your eyes and pulled your hands away, rubbing them against your legs to warm them up. 

“Hot chocolate?” you asked him, already getting up to go to the kitchen. Eddie followed closely behind you, socks padding against the hardwood floors. He watched you flutter around the kitchen, grabbing enormous mugs and pulling out milk and whipped cream from the fridge. The soft calm imploded when he saw your hair fall over your shoulder right as you turned the flame on the stove.

“Holy shit, be careful! People are going to think I torture you,” he sprung up and, without thinking, collected your hair to the back of your head and tied it without technique, using the scrunchie from his own wrist. Another knit gift you forced him into taking.

“Thanks, that was kind,” you smiled up at him. He scoffed and walked back to the other side of the counter. “What, I can’t say something nice to you?” You entered into a staredown. Eddie tried his hardest not to let your infectious smile get to him. He could practically taste the sweetness in it from across the room.

“No, you can say whatever you want,” he shrugged, breaking the challenge and looking at the boiling pot on the stove. You lapsed into silence, assembling the drinks and letting Eddie fill half of his cup with marshmallows before you spoke again.

“You do that a lot, you know,” you said. He gave you a confused look, asking for an explanation. “You never accept a compliment. I can tell you that you're kind, or I like your shirt, or even thank you for picking me up, and you always shrug it off. I wish you wouldn’t.”

In your few weeks of getting to know Eddie, his shyness turned into a bravado. Now that he knew you weren’t interested in ridiculing him, his feux confidence oozed into everything. You could tell he still didn’t trust you, though. If he did, he wouldn’t put up the front.

“You’re really great, Eddie,” you said earnestly.

“You’re sweet, but-”

“No buts! You’re great, I’m sweet, end of conversation,” you stopped him, putting a hand over his. 

“Okay,” he couldn’t meet your eyes, biting his lip to keep from grinning wildly. “Jesus, you’re still freezing. Should we try skin to skin contact?”

There were more knitting lessons, some private concerts, and a lot of late night conversations between you and Eddie. Even though you were right across the street, he always insisted on walking you home when you were at Steve’s, which turned into talking for 20 minutes outside your door. Then, you’d gab for another hour when you called him to make sure he made it home okay.

You thought you were showing your cards too much, being a little desperate, but Eddie’s outer shell started to melt away and you began to like his presence even more. He was funny, and so endearing, you almost wished you had moved into the trailer across the way.

He came to expect your calls, but your presence on Thursday evenings were a new, surprising addition to his routine. Steve or Nancy had been taking turns picking up the younger kids from D&D at his house, and when Steve went you began to tag along.

“Okay, you shrimps are squeezing in the back,” he said, making them begin to fight on who was sitting on top of who.

“I can just drive Y/N home,” Eddie shrugged, raising his eyebrows at you for approval. You nodded and tried to keep your face neutral, your unrevealed plan having worked.

“Then why didn’t you just drive us all home?” Mike asked. Steve smiled, not hiding his teasing expression, and bid you both goodnight as he walked out of the trailer. The energy instantly leveled, and Eddie let a sigh fall from him.

“God, you’d think they all chugged a pot of coffee before they get here,” he dropped onto the couch and patted the seat next to him for you to inhabit.

“They just get excited to hang out with you,” you smiled. “Why do you think I came over?” You reached behind him for the blanket draped over the cushions.

“I actually think it’s for the opposite reason,” his tone was light. If he kept up an unserious mood while moving closer to you and brushing his leg against yours under the sheath of the blanket, then it wasn’t a big deal. It couldn’t be. “I give them all this energy and then dump them on Harrington or Nancy, and you get me at the end of the night when I’m exhausted and compliant.”

“Oh yeah, I could totally get you to do anything I wanted to right now,” you smiled. A shiver ran through your body, giving the two of you another excuse to intertwine. You pressed against each other during movies, or while in line at the crowded coffee shop, but now you were just cuddling in silence, no facade to cover up your desire to be close. 

“Just give me the word,” he said, and you both knew he wasn’t joking. He was wrapped around your finger.

Hooked up with the new girl on the block, wonder where she’s been. Now I’m laughing, drinking with my friends. Body shots ‘til the party ends, yeah, did I clean up the mess? Go to hell, well, some girls just freak me out. 

He didn’t know how, but Eddie knew he had royally fucked up. It had been two weeks since he spoke to you, two weeks since he touched you. 

“Is this a bad idea?” you asked, putting your hands on his chest and panting slightly.

“Totally,” he nodded, holding you tightly. “I’m bad news, but you’re just plain trouble,” he leaned forward again and sealed your lips together, making you forget any hesitation you had. 

You weren’t apprehensive because of the reputation Eddie carried around, it was because you value your friendship so much. 

It was really, really, difficult not to be attracted to Eddie. He was so rough on the outside but so compassionate once you talked to him for more than a minute. All of his friends let you right into the group, cutting your alone time down to both of your chagrin. When he invented fake, non-refundable plans for the two of you so you could hang out alone, you suspected that he might be attracted to you, too.

You needed to be the one to ask him to hang out for the first time, and it took a bit longer before he was fully comfortable in your presence, so you weren’t shocked when you had to be the one to kiss him first. When you did, it was even better than you thought it was going to be. 

The next day, when you called him to make plans again, the giddiness in both of your voices was embarrassingly childlike. Finally, though, his feelings were right on the surface for you to see.

The second, third, fourth times that you hooked up with Eddie were amazing. You were having just as incredible a time together as usual, but now with an added layer of pleasure. When you were together he was attentive, sincere, and it was far too enjoyable to be one-sided. 

You began to notice that when the next morning came around, you were always the one to call him, or to make the next plans. Was all of the time spent and conversations some sort of long game for him to get in your pants? It felt like a real friendship, but how long had you actually known these people? Did you make a mistake?

The last time you hooked up, two weeks ago, you promised yourself that you weren’t going to be the one to reach out.

“God, what did we even do before this?” he asked, rolling off of you and pressing kisses to your bare shoulder. 

“We did whatever friends do,” you smiled. 

“Friends definitely don’t do that,” he laughed. You knew he didn’t mean it how it came out, that you weren’t friends. He just meant that you were partaking in some activities outside of the normal realm of friendship, but your insecurity was looking for something to latch on to.

“Then I guess I’ll go,” you sat up and started pulling clothes from the floor, quicker than usual. Suddenly the idea of Eddie looking at you was too personal, too vulnerable. He tried to think if you mentioned having plans or something to do and why you were rushing out of his bed.

“Are you sure? You can stay, I have nothing going on,” he shrugged. He didn’t expect a pat on the back, but he thought he was being gentlemanly with you.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you nodded, barely looking back at him.

You didn’t call after that. If he wanted to see you again, he was going to have to put forth the effort. Which he clearly didn’t, because you didn’t hear from him until you were, once again, trying to make new friends at a party. 

Eddie was having the time of his life. He had been feeling so much more confident since he had started seeing you, and it pulled through to every facet of his life. He raised the band’s performance rate, stopped accepting IOU’s for drugs, and even convinced himself that surely, he’d be able to figure out how to change the oil in the van himself. The last one may have been a bit premature, but still, if someone had told him six months ago that he’d be at a party hosted by any of the former sports captains from high school, he’d have laughed in their face. Now, he was cracking jokes, not even at the expense of anyone, and people were laughing along with him, not at him.

He knew it was because of you, and the lack of contact for the last two weeks hadn’t gone unnoticed. As slowly his confidence with you grew, it was ripped away like it was never there. He was suddenly afraid to call you up, worried that if he said the wrong thing you would actually tell him that you never wanted to speak to him again. If he didn’t talk to you, you couldn’t cut him off.

Irrational, he knew. It was why Eddie came to the party in the first place, before cups of beer started being put into his hands. He hoped that if he ran into you that he’d be able to either talk out whatever he had done, or maybe you’d just forgive him if he apologized enough.

“Come on, Wheeler, you can’t deny me of this,” he wrapped his arms around Nancy’s waist and scooped her up, her screeching not doing anything to deter him. 

“Eddie, no,” she laughed. “Jonathon, help!” Eddie looked back at Jonathan. He would let Nancy go if her boyfriend had a problem with it, he was not looking to sever any of the new relationships he had gotten his hands on. But the older Byers boy just continued to laugh and nod his head after seeing the smile on Nancy’s face.

“I’ll let you do one off of me, next” he bargained. She laid back on the counter Eddie set her on and lifted her sweater up until right underneath her bra. 

“God, it’s cold,” she gasped as he poured liquor into the concave of her stomach. 

You walked through the kitchen of the house just in time to see him lick a line up her torso and slurp against her skin. 

“Hey, Y/N! Your turn, come on,” Robin tried to wave you over, but you just held up your hand and moved through quickly to get to any other room. 

“Where has she been?” Nancy asked, wiping down herself and sitting up with a little help from Eddie’s supportive hand on her back. 

“Yeah, what did you do to piss her off?” Robin asked. 

“I didn’t do anything,” Eddie frowned, taking small sips from his cup to avoid talking.

“Uh, yeah you did. You’d be parked outside of my house, like, three nights a week, but you were never hanging out in my room,” Steve snitched. Eddie punched his arm with the minimal amount of force he had. 

“Well, I really like Y/N, go clean up your mess,” Nancy demanded. He bit back the defiance on his tongue, simply from being told what to do. He knew that she was right, though. He had to repair whatever he had destroyed.

After draining what was left in his cup, he set it down on the counter and went to go search for you. You weren’t dancing in the living room, waiting on line outside of the bathroom, or hanging out in the kitchen when Eddie circled back there. In favor of opening every door on the second level, Eddie decided to try his luck outside first.

Low and behold, you were sitting on the porch swing.

“Jesus, it’s freezing out here, what are you doing?” he asked, taking off his jacket and going to drape it over your shoulders. You shook your head and scooted impossible closer to the edge of the seat. “Babe, you’re going to get frostbite.”

“Oh, go to hell,” you spat, standing up and leaning your hands on the railing and keeping your eyes trained on your shoes. He waited a few seconds with bated breath before walking up to the railing and standing a few feet away from you.

“Y/N,” he started slowly, not wanting to make you have another outburst. “Can we please talk?”

“You’re already talking,” you snapped.

“Okay, can we have a conversation, then?” he remedied. You shrugged and continued to look away from him. Eddie didn’t even know where to begin. With an apology? He didn’t know what to apologize for. He saw you shiver and extended his coat again. “Please just take my coat,” he sighed.

“I don’t want your damn coat,” you frowned.

“Then what do you want, Y/N? You’re not saying anything and I’m left in the lurch, here!” He was desperate at this point.

The first few days that he didn’t get a phone call from you, he admittedly barely noticed. Between carting the kids around, driving an hour and a half each way to get a specific brand of guitar strings, and picking up extra shifts with Uncle Wayne, he was a busy guy these days. By the time day 5 rolled around, he needed some serious relaxation time and was really planning on giving you a call, but then he fell asleep. And then before he knew it it had been a week.

When Steve said he hadn’t heard you, or when he drove by and your blinds snapped shut, he figured something was up.

“Please, just tell me how to fix this.”

“How to fix what, Eddie? It’s not a relationship. So what is there to fix?” you asked. 

You thought of the facts before you made the decision to kiss Eddie. You had found a real comfort in each other. You made each other laugh, kept each other company. And he couldn’t ignore the fact that you didn’t have 17 years that the rest of the town had to influence what you thought of him, which he expressed to you. The thought that maybe you were his only option ate away at you. What happened when someone else new came into town? Would he drop you when there was a shiny new toy available? 

“What do you mean, there’s you and me,” he stepped closer and you didn’t shy away. Progress. 

“Don’t you get it, Eddie? There is no you and me. There’s just you, and just me. We weren’t exactly friends, according to you.” It all clicked. He was such a fucking idiot.

“Oh, God,” he put his head in his hands and tried to think how he could be so stupid. “When I said- I didn’t mean- Y/N, of course we’re friends. More than friends, there’s something here, I thought it was obvious so I didn’t say it.” He felt the familiar soft touch of your fingers on his wrist, pulling them away from his face.

Eddie looked at you and instantly half of your anger dissolved.

“That made me feel really shitty, what you said,” you finally confessed to him. “I felt dismissed a-and cheap, and worst of all used.”

“I’m so sorry, I never meant to do that.” If it weren’t for the way he was tenderly holding your hand or so visibly having to hold himself back from embracing you, you would’ve thought it was a line. 

“I care about you and if you want a label or a definition I will give that to you right now. You’ve been the best thing about the last six months,” he said, making the other half of your anger fly out of the window. The validation was freeing, knowing that he felt the same way that you did.

“I don’t need that, Eddie-”

“Fine, but I want it,” he said, grabbing onto your shoulders. “I’m not asking you to start over, because I don’t want to throw it all away. You’re really important to me.” You were nodding along with him, letting the words go right from his mouth to your heart.

“Eddie,” you said softly, and he stopped right away. Whatever you had to say he would absorb wholly. But you didn’t say anything at all, just leaned forward and kissed him. He whined in relief and his knees went weak, leaning back against the porch railing to support himself and you.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against you. You pulled away and saw that he kept his eyes closed, but wasn’t letting go of you.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I should have just talked to you.” Eddie shook his head and finally looked into your eyes. 

“Come home with me, please? I only came here to find you,” he admitted. You nodded and were going to say that you came to the party with similar intentions, even if they were subconscious, but the front door swung open before you could.

“Just checking to make sure Y/N didn’t murder you,” Robin stood in the doorway with a smile on her face, seeing you cuddled up to each other. “Come on, the night is young!” She grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. You smiled back at Eddie and he followed after you, not wanting to be without you for another second.

She’s the sweetest, the sweetest thing but I know she’s no good for me. Gonna take you home and take off your clothes, Baby, I’m nothing but bad news.

“I wish you two had never made up, you’re disgusting!” It was weeks later, and you and Eddie were more likely to be found in another country than without the big, goofy smiles that had been on your faces since you had made up and officially gotten together. At first, it was sweet, and everyone was happy that you were happy; but lately your affection was met with groans of overexposure.

Eddie pulled his face away from where it was nuzzled into your neck and glared at Steve, who had a pinched look on his face. Uncle Wayne got his hands on the half-priced groceries that were about to expire, and insisted that Eddie invite his friends over to help eat it all. 

As happy as he was to see Eddie with a nice group of friends, he was even happier when you became a fixture at the trailer.

“Jealous, Harrington?” he asked, squeezing your ass through your jeans and pulling a giggle from you.

“No, I am not jealous, I am trying to keep down my lunch,” he complained, leaning back and looking away.

“It’s cute,” Max said, kicking the leg of his chair and making him falter. “Plus, it shuts him up.”

“I am going to ignore that. But, seriously, how do you expect me to keep my hands off of her? She’s so sweet,” Eddie scraped his teeth along your cheek and you pushed him away, ticklish.

“Stop,” you smiled, although you all knew you didn’t mean it. 

“I’m with Steve, this is scarring,” Dustin frowned. Eddie pushed his hands up your shirt and rested them on your bare skin.

“Let me kick them out,” he begged. You didn’t, but were relieved when they left a while later. You and Eddie rushed around, cleaning up their mess so Wayne wouldn’t have to. When you were finally done and flopped down on the couch, he walked inside. You were itching, now, to touch Eddie the way he was unafraid to when your friends were around. After Wayne went into the bathroom to wash up, you pulled him close.

“Can we go to my house?” you whispered. He was going to ask why, but when you started to pull at his collar and rub your nose against his throat he understood.

“I thought you were tired?” he hummed, intently listening for the shower to shut off while you started to kiss his neck.

“Never too tired to take your clothes off,” you said, making his stomach flip.

“Baby, you’re bad news,” he took a deep breath and let you pull him up off the couch and towards the door. He called out a goodbye to his uncle before tripping over his feet after you as if you had him on a leash. 

Yeah, you still freaked him out. 

#stranger things 4 #st4 #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson fic #stranger things fic #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #eddie munson fandom #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie stranger things #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson boyfriend #eddie munson brainrot #eddie munson concept #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson edit #eddie munson fics #eddie munson hurt/comfort #eddie munson masterlist #eddie munson oc #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson preference #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson thoughts

[cobraonthecob]

F1 2024 Predictions!

Red Bull: Obviously they’re going to continue to dominate. They have to get in their domination years before the 2026 regulations come by, so as far as 2024 and 2025 are concerned for me, Red Bull is going to aim to dominate and they will. The only thing I’d be interested in Red Bull in is whether or not Checo will have stable mental health to hold a smaller gap in points between him and Max, because what the hell happened after Monaco alsdkjfaklsdfj.

Ferrari: I am not a superstitious person usually, but if you have Scuderia in your name, your strategists are shit. AlphaTauri has this problem, and Ferrari is the same. At least Ferrari has a car that can get points (not great ones, but still points) whereas AT will be far away from the points. So hopefully 2024, the strategists gain more brain cells, otherwise, it’s just going to be a repeat of 2023.

Mercedes: The strategy is questionable at times, but what really needs to improve is the pit stop times. They’re doing better, but they NEED to get their heads out of their asses for that because that’s the real killer in my opinion. 

Mclaren: My surprise prediction of 2024, is that Mclaren is going to be the team that will come close to lighting a fire under Red Bull. Or rather; Oscar, Lando, and Checo are going to be fighting for podium spots after Max fucks off ten seconds ahead of them (a gracious guess, it would’ve been 20 seconds but I decided to be nice). We all saw Mclaren’s miraculous technological growth this year, so assuming Mclaren doesn’t bring a tractor at the start of the season, I can very much see a Red Bull vs Mclaren fight.

Also we need a lando win. Please, he’s been suffering for too long

Aston Martin: I don’t follow AM, so if anyone wants to bring additional info, I’ll be grateful, but I feel like they’ll bring the fight to P3 in the constructor’s championship against Ferrari and Mercedes. They seem to have decent strategy and pit stops, it’s just that the car is average with two good drivers. Maybe they should hope for more rainy races and Lance works his driving-in-the-rain magic.

THE MIDFIELD:

I predict that it’s going to be an Alpine-Williams-AlphaTauri/Racing Balls fight.

Alpine: if the Frenchpine civil war doesn’t fuck them up more, because Pierre really showed what he was made of. I can’t really estimate how good they are against each other because Esteban has had 6 DNFs total, 4 being mechanical failures, 2 retirements because of collision from other people running into him, and I’m not counting all the times Esteban has run into other people but no DNF because I’m not combing through every race lol. I think they’re equal, it’s just that Esteban’s car was plagued with mechanical problems and Esteban regularly finds himself in weird situations where he’s getting bonked into or he’s bonking into someone else. Alpine is going to be fighting themselves and the rest of the midfield lol.

Williams: Alex is definitely going to head that king of the midfield fight for Williams while Logan will quietly improve and hopefully get points. 

AlphaTauri: Daniel and Yūki are probably the best driver pairing AlphaTauri could ask for. Daniel’s experience and Yūki approaching his fourth year on the team means they have to be fighting for consistent points now from both of them, and that’s only if AT doesn’t give them a tractor to drive. Also, before anyone who didn’t pay attention to Yūki’s growth this year, you missed out. The two major times I can say that Yūki costed himself points was Singapore - I definitely think he turned too early in that first lap and doing it next to Checo of all drivers - and Mexico, where he turned on the outside and bumped into Oscar and spinning himself off the track. But most importantly, even though Yūki couldn’t crawl back into the points in time, he LEARNED, and in Brazil, he applied that when he didn’t do the same error when he and Lewis were fighting. 

Sauber: Hopefully with the shedding of AlfaRomeo, they’ll bounce back. But they’re my flop prediction.

Haas: This team flopping is a given. I will be pleasantly surprised if they pull a Mclaren and miraculously be consistently pulling themselves into P9/P10 every race.

#nightfalcon posts #formula 1 #f1 #red bull racing #ferrari #mercedes #mclaren #aston martin #alpine #williams #alphatauri #sauber #haas #f1 2024 season predictions

[lewisvinga]

I wasn’t the one who originally talked to this, but guess which Formula one team is now up to twenty-three photos and videos for Carlos and four for Charles?!

Ferrari!

I get they’re happy they won, but they’re milking the win and it makes it less special to me. It’s Tuesday. The win is over and done with. They need to give it a fucking rest. Listen, I hate to be that person because I’m not toxic, but if this is how Ferrari acts, every time they get a win, I hope they don’t win again until Lewis joins.

I’m only saying until he joins because then people won’t say things like cancel his contract or you’re gonna regret giving him up and stuff like that.

We all know it’s not gonna happen again anyway because once Max loses, he makes sure never to lose again. If it wasn’t for the crappy, Mercedes car, Max’s only opponent would be Lewis, but right now, Max’s only opponent is his car.

I don’t know if you remember what happened last year when Checo beat Max. He said it would never happen again and then he went on to win the rest of the year. Other than that one time Carlos won. That’s how I feel like it’s going to be this year. If someone else does win, I hope it’s from any other team, except for Ferrari.

I hate feeling like this, but Ferrari and Red Bull fans think they are on top of the world, and that they are the best teams on the grid and they are unbeatable. Well, Red Bull is, but Ferrari is not.

I sincerely hope that Lando, Oscar, Yuki, and Logan gets their first wins, or even podium in Yuki and Logan’s case!

I’m sorry if I seem toxic, but Ferrari admin just shared yet another compilation of videos and photos of the same exact goddamn thing as they had the other 22 times, but from different angles.

I now know what that other anon meant but it’s getting annoying.

Sorry for ranting. You’re probably sick and tired of people coming to complain about other teams

But a quick question. How the fuck did the Mercedes car get worse than last year’s?

still posting on tuesday is a bit much, like the hype already passed 😭

i just rlly hope lewis wins w ferrariiiii, merc has been doing him dirty asf and he deserves that 104th😫

yeah for sure if lewis had an equal car to red bull then there’d be more competition esp between him and max, it’s a shame merc keeps getting worse n worse 😭😭

i don’t mind carlos winning tbh it’s just the fans who make me annoyed asf with their ‘ferrari made a big mistake’ ‘ferrari is gonna regret it’ comments 💀 like PLEASE lewis is a 7x wdc of course he’s gonna be picked over a 3x race winner

i just rlly want logan points 😞😞 and yuki podium would be so💗💗

i thought last year was the end of mercedes shit show IDEK HOW KTS WORSE NOW

#lewisvinga asks

[regular-lord-reckoner]

welp, we got scammed by a plumber today, lol

we suspected that we had a leak but our most recent ridiculous water bill confirmed that, so my mom reached out to a plumber to come out and take a look

one of the mechanisms inside the toilet on both mine and my mom's were broken so that was part of it, but there's also apparently a leak under the house as well

some guys came out to look at it and said they'd be back out to replace those parts and then get under the house and fix that one so okay, great

except when the guy shows up today he's like, "oh, the other guy actually fixed the one under the house when we were here last" which like...??? why didn't you just say that, then??

but okay, whatever, maybe it somehow slipped his mind?

in any case, our family friend went behind him today and pretty quickly realized he didn't replace any parts in the toilet at all and actually made the problem worse!!

all he did was turn the water down so that it didn't seem like it was leaking anymore so thank fuck for our friend who checked and then went to the store to get the parts and replaced them himself

he was watching him at one point but got distracted because he got an email about a job offer on his phone so he was trying to set up that interview and wasn't observing him as closely, but dude definitely just brought in pieces to supposedly replace the broken ones and yet it's still the same broken ones that are in the toilet; you can tell because they've got wear and tear damage and our family friend said that when he was looking at them in the store that the design doesn't even look like that anymore so...yeah. total shitshow.

i know at one point during both "repairs" he had to go out to his vehicle (which wasn't even a van or anything, it was a fucking mercedes sedan) to get something (and hilariously at one point he came back with a tool that was way too big for the job he was doing) so my guess is he just ditched the new parts back in his car right then and left the old ones in place and called it a fucking day assuming we wouldn't take the tank off and have a look for ourselves or that we wouldn't know the difference, i guess??

i also don't know what the fuck he did in my bathroom but my bath mat ended up soaked and he also grabbed one of my towels i had hanging up to mop up the rest and claimed it was "already there on the floor"

no the fuck it was not, but just goes to show how much of a liar this dude is (which as an aside like...you can use my towels, it's not really about that, it's just the audacity to lie like that when i know for a fact that fucker was hanging up on the door)

in any case, we've been blowing his shit up on yelp and wherever else and my mom knows people who are from where he is and would be delighted to tell everyone what a piece of shit he is and to not do business with him. i hope to god he never gets to rip another person off ever again

hilariously, their yelp page didn't have any reviews on it before today and when we mentioned that on the phone he claimed it was because he doesn't want to pay for them (as if he's sooooo honest he would never!!) but now since my mom left a review all of a sudden there's a bunch of reviews from i'm assuming his friends and family all like "great business, you guys helped a lot!!"

pretty sure you're not allowed to falsify reviews to boost your 1 star rating so i called that out in my own yelp review and now i'm not seeing those as recommended comments anymore and it's back to 1 star so...that's funny

anyway, i wish this bitch the absolute worst in life and best of fucking luck to you, dude, because if there's one thing my father couldn't stand in this world it was men who do shit like that.

and i know my dad's up to some shit in the afterlife as well because our family friend had some family he hasn't talked to in over a decade reach out to him out of the blue and it's been a really positive and good thing for him and it's just like...what are the chances, y'know? (and it wasn't like, "oh hey, man, haven't talked to you in a while!" it was like...a door that had closed that he never thought would open again and now it's just...wide open! thanks, dad :3)

a lot of good things have been happening to people he's cared about, actually, so i just cannot wait for this dude and his scam of a business go down in flames

makes me sick to my fucking stomach to think of how many people he's probably taken advantage of and who just didn't know any better. that trick he pulled on us probably would have worked until it inevitably got worse but that could take a while and by then we wouldn't automatically assume it was him but rather just our rotten luck, y'know? just absolutely despicable.

#i also may have put a curse on him :) #enjoy it bitch!! #i hope all scammers go to hell forever

[fdcwasright]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Draco?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“DRACO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Draco didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Ebony?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor McGonagall.

“How dare you?” demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay, Ebony?” Draco asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Draco, Draco!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

“VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Ebony, it’s not what you think!” Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B’loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“Vampire, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Draco!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“But I’m not going out with Draco anymore!” said Vampire.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Voldemort!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.

“Crookshanks!” I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Ebony.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire Potter!”

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Voldemort!” I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

“Draco!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B’loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Ebony! Are you OK?” B’loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don’t kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!” I burst into tears. Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”

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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. “Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Hargrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

“Why are you doing this?” Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HER!”

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”

Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

“Enoby I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.

“No Enoby.” Hargrid says. “Those are not roses.”

“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! .

“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!”

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.

“OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?”

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

“U c, Enobby,” Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!”

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

“You look kawai, girl.” B’loody Mary said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Vampire you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

“NO!” I ran up closer.

“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

“Dumbledore Dumblydore!” we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

“Volsemort has Draco!” we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

“No! Don’t! We need to save Draco!” we begged.

“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then he walked away. Vampire started crying. “My Draco!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

“What?” I asked him.

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Voldemprt’s lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!” It was……………………………….. Voldemort!

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn’t there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

“Huh?” I asked. ”Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

“Snaketail what art thou doing?” called Voldemort. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B’loody Mary, because she’s not ugly or anything.”

“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Draco.

“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he’s in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory enoby isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.

Ebony Ebony!” shouted Draco sadly. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad.

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!

“Enoby I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!

“Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”

“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.

“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.

“We won’t do that again.” Draco promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?”

“NO.” he muttered loudly.

“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.

“Enoby! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B’loody Mary was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Willow will die too.” I said.

“Kawai.” B’loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”

“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

B’Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”

“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

“No.” My head snaped up.

‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody Mary are u a PREP?”

“NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that’s all.”

“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

“Dumblydore.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.”

“OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?” I asked quietly.

“Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.”

“Da real goffs?” Me and B’Loody Mary asked.

“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody Mary.

“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s ebondy dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?”

“Tom Rid.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!”

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. “WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Willow’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?” she asked.

“Yah.” I said happily.

“I’m gong with Diabolo.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B’loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was…….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Draco!”

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…………………………………DUMBLYDORE!

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to B’loody Mary and Willow. B’loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

“……………….DUMBLEDORE?1!” we all gasped.

“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!”

“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.

“BTW you can call me Albert.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

“What a fucking poser!” Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything. “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Willow shouted.

I was so fucking angry.

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)

“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.

“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.

“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.

“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da gurl’s room?”

Only it wasn’t just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.

“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”

“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.

“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Draco has a surprise for u.”

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.

“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! “R u gonna cum rape me or what.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.

“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.

“Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.

“Fuker.” He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1

“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)

“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Lumpkin shouted angrily.

“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.

“You dimwit!.” Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”

“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!” I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

“WTF where’d Draco?” I asked him.

“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Vampire said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said ‘ENOBY’ on it.

……….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Helena’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner.

Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. “Draco are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.

“No I’m not u fuking bitch!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

“Its ok Enoby.” said Vampire comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”

“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.

“Draco please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)

And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Mr. Norris.

“No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!” Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.

“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. “Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!” he asked. Filth nodded. And then……………………….Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1

“WHAT DA-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.

“Draco!” I cried. “R u okay?”

“I guess though.” Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!

I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B’loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle’s dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.

“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

“Enoby something is really fucked up.” Draco said.

“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Draco said in a sexy voice.

“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

“I will I will.” he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

“THIS CANNOT BE!” she shouted angrily. “THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!”

“THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!” yelled Cornelia Fudge.

“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Rumbridge. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”

“Very well.” Dumbledore said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…………………………………………………………………..Enony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.”

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B’loody Mary looked at each other………I gasped.

I didn’t know you could leave that long of an anon

[hey-kae]

anon of the long rant here: i'm italian, i know the tifosi (or most of them) currently care more about charles than ferrari, bc he's literally the driver who brought back hope after years and the fact that ferrari is fucking him up every single weekend is just 🫠

my discourse about prost was to point out that people expecting charles to shit ferrari every single time won't change shit, but hell it could make his position even worse and i was honestly overjoyed he showed to be upset during his first interview (even tho he went into a more soft approach during fred's interview, but yeah we all agree what he said in the first one was what he honestly thought)

also the 2021 thing: the year of nee regulations being introduced for 2022, the cars already in the wind tunnel and it was clear that some teams were too sure of themselves already (mercedes). also starting from last year, but especially in 2023, red bull doesn't eat the tyres like AT all. i'd say what caused this is the fact that in 2021 everytime pirelli put out the different strategies and stints of the tyres the teams would complain they were too short. so sometimes they didn't listen on how long the tyres would last and that's what happened to verstappen in baku: they kept him out too long, the rear tyre exploded and he dnfed. red bull and somebody else complained to pirelli about this and it's very likely that pirelli was like "alright" and changed the hardness of each compound, up to where we are now. red bull in 2023 has a flawless car, but also i'd say that if you have an amazing car itself + harder compounds of tyres even when they're supposed to be softer you have te result for an unbeatable team (and driver). mercedes has been good with the tyres too and so some other teams (ferrari is struggling bc after years they still can't make good suspensions, so we won't consider them in this situation 💀)

(Saw this earlier but it was race start and i wanted to take time to actually understand so sorry for not replying then even though i was active)

Honestly, what us non-italians see in comment sections is enough to feel that charles is really loved and defended by tifosi so I can’t even imagine what’s it like being italian and actually seeing it hands-on.

But definitely, you have a point. Trash talking the team in the media won’t do him no good. I like that his approach is “what i say to the team stays between me an the team” but i’m just saying they sometimes need an earful from him like yesterday. Obviously, pushing it won’t put him a good position cause what team wants a driver that talks down about it openly? I’m totally not saying he should go crazy on them in his interviews but just stop blaming himself for things that everyone sees aren’t his fault cause i hate how people ridicule him over it. The discourse of him being too soft for a championship is just annoying to me.

And about 2021, what I’m understanding is pirelli kinda adjusted the tires more or less to suit rb? (not saying they did it on purpose tho cause I don’t know enough to claim that) I honestly don’t know much about that transition phase into the new regulations so I won’t say much about it but you’re definitely right that the rb doesn’t use up its tires but rarely while the ferrari snacks on them with mercedes being an in between. It just never occurred to me to think about that from Pirelli’s side instead of the teams’ side. Like to me i just always thought “ok rb built a car that maintains tires well while some other teams like ferrari or like has couldn’t”.

(Japan last year blew my mind with how charles’ inters looked at the end actually and it wasn’t even a full race)

I’ve also read complaints about the newer tire compounds so i guess you do have a point.

But just to clarify, I do have moments where I’m angry and trash talking ferrari on here, but really at the end of the day it’s because i love this team so much and i really want charles to be able to get at least a championship with them😭

#asks

[smoooothoperator]

Monaco (Charles Leclerc)

Summary: Y/N is Tom Holland's manager and this year she attends with him to the Monaco GP. What if she meets one of the Ferrari drivers?

Word count: 1896

A/N: Sooo this is my first work. Hope you like it❤

Since I was little, Tom and I were friends. I grew with him and got to see every step made into Hollywood. I met all of his friends and become a little group were Zendaya and I were the only girls. Harrison and I worked with him, he's his assistant and I'm his manager, so we travel together a lot. This year, after all the press interviews of his last movie he wanted to take us to a vacation to Monaco, the same week the Formula One is taking place there. The city is full of cars and people, and it's easy to be caught by some Tom's fans an the streets.

"Man, look at those pretty cars" Harrison was living his life, watching all the Ferrari and Mercedes parked in front the building "Haz you are drooling" I laughed looking at my friend "I mean, they are cars..." "Are you for real? Y/N look at those beatiful machines" Tom sighed walking near a Ferrari "Oh, so fucking gorgeous"

I laughed looking at my best friends being in love with two cars and when two men dressed with red shirts came near them they stood up real quickly.

"Are you Tom Holland?" one of the asked with an strange english accent. "Oh God, and are you Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz? The Ferrari drivers?" Tom has his fangirl mode activated. "Yeah" they laughed and Harrison started to talk with them.

I'm standing away of them, letting the four men talk, while I'm talking on my phone with one of Tom's sponsors, and I started to feel a pair of eyes locked on my back. When I turned around I saw one of the drives, don't know his name, looking at me with a smile on his face.

"And you are?" he asked turning all the attention to me "I saw Harrison with Tome in media, but... you?" "Oh, I'm his manager" I answered walking near them, placing myself between Tom and Harrison and touching Tom's shoulder "Y/N L/N, nice to meet you" "The pleasure is mine"

Oh damn, flirting are we?

The drivers said goodbye to us the doors of the red Ferrari that was near us and the one who filtered with me started the engine of the car making Tom and Harrison shout of happiness.

"Will you see the race?" the driver asked me with a smile on his lips. "I think so" I smiled at him feeling how my checks started to burn. "I'm Charles, by the way, Charles Leclerc"

Tom and Harrison laughed loud signaling my blushed face and I kicked both of their arms. We started to walk to our after graving something to eat on the steet and when we arrived to our suite OK the hotel I booked I started to call one of Tom's sponsors who is here in Monaco.

"Come one, Y/N. Stop working, we are here for relax and forget about work." Tom complained taking my phone from my hands. "But..." "No buts, enjoy." Harrison interrupted me covering my mouth with his hands "Plus, can we talk about how Charles Leclerc started to flirt with you? He had heart eyes" "Oooh, that's true!" Tom started to jump in his seat, clapping and laughing "He even asked you if you were going to see the race" "He wasn't flirting, he was just... being polite" I sighed rolling my eyes. "And why did he started following you on Instagram?" Tom took my phone on his hands when it turned on with a notification "Oh! And he sent a message to you!"

I stood up front the couch and walked to my bed with my phone between my hands, opening Instagram and reading his message.

charles_leclerc: Hey it's me, Charles Leclerc. I wanted to know if you can come to the Ferrari paddock with Tom and Harrison?

I smiled reading his message while bitting my lip.

me: Hi Charles, sorry we already have an invitation from RedBull... but of course we're going to walk near! I think Harrison wanted to have a look to the cars

charles_leclerc Oh, well... So, do you like Monaco?

I laughed softly. He changed the topic so quickly that o even se that coming.

me: I haven't seen too much, only the harbor and some nice shops... but it's pretty

charles_leclerc: Do you want me to show you the city?

I gasped in surprise, sitting on my bed and looking at the screen of my phone.

"Guys?" I shouted, hearing their footsteps coming near me. "What?" they shouted looking at me worried. "I think Charles Leclerc asked me to go with him on a date" "I KNEW IT!" Tom exclaimed "Okay so, what did you said?" "Nothing! I mean, what if he's joking? I'm sure he is..."

Tom rolled his eyes and started to tap on my phone, writing a message for Charles. He smiled and then put the phone on the bed.

"You have to get ready, he will come in an hour" "He what?" "Go on. And put something red" Harrison smiled and they left me alone on my room.

Sighing I opened the suitcase and searched for something to wear but nothing red. I dressed with a midi black dress and some sandals and painted my lips with a red lipstick.

"He's here" Tom said looking outside the windows, waving to someone on the street "And he has the Ferrari we saw this morning. Damn Y/N, enjoy the drive and then describe to us how the car was" "You are a freak" I laughed opening the door.

Leaving the hotel Charles opened the door for me with a big smile and started to drive on the streets. He showed me all the important places and personal places like his mother's house or the school were he studied when he was a kid. Some fans who recognised him started to cheer for him and he waved to them with a smile on his lips.

"Is like that everyday? Like you walk on the street and everyone knows who you are. Aren't you stressed about that?" I asked him looking at all his fans. "Not really. Well, it's true that when I race here I feel a lot of pressure because you know... it's home and they are my people. But you know... is really good to feel the support of them" he explained smiling to me. "I guess so..." "And how it is being Tom's manager?" "Is like if I'm taking care of a child! I'm always looking that he doesn't spoil a movie, or swear on public TV... but I love him, he's my best friend since I was little" I smiled, moving my hands while I speak. "I have to confess that the first time I saw you Carlos and I thought that you were his girlfriend " he sighed. "God, no! Never in a million years" I laughed.

He smiled to me and parked the car. I looked outside and when I saw that we are on the top of Monaco I sighed with happiness.

"Wow, what a wonderful view" I smiled looking at the sea "Thank you for the ride, Charles" "I hope you enjoyed it" he smiled grabbing my hand and walking to a bench.

None of us talk, instead we enjoy the silence looking at the sea. I didn't notice that his hand is still holding mine but I don't care, it feels right.

"You know... when I saw you this morning the first thing I noticed was you, not your friends" he said, squeezing my hand "Like, yeah they are Tom Holland and Harrison Osterflied, but... you are beautiful" "Charles..." "I don't want you think that I say this to every girl a see" he interrupted me "I mean it. You are gorgeous, Y/N"

I smiled and placed my head on his shoulder, leaning on him I little.

"Come to my garage tomorrow at the race" he whispered. "But I already talked with RedBull" "Only you" he insisted, interviewing our hands and caressing my skin "Please" "Okay..."

He laughed softly and stood from the bench. He drived me back to my hotel and I promised to meet him tomorrow at his garage, waving goodbye to him. Opening the door of the suite I'm welcomed my Tom and Harrison asking me about the date.

"It was... fine" I answered with a smile "The car, I mean. The date was actually really good." "Do you like him?" Tom asked with a smile. "Well... I only know him since this morning, but he's kinda cute"

The next morning we walked to the track, Tom waving to all the people who recognised him and laughed when McLaren started to put the SpiderMan theme song on their garage. When I reached the merchandising shop I stopped to by a Ferrari shirt and put it on me quickly, making Tom and Harrison laugh.

"What? I'm going to their garage, at least I should wear something for them" I sighed at them. "You like Charles " Harrison singed hugging my shoulders ", and that's really cute." "Yeah, whatever"

I stopped in front of Ferrari garage and Charles waved at me with a smile on his lips, dressed already on his driver suit. I followed him and sat where he indicated me before he reached to the car.

The race started, and he was first because he finished first yesterday on qualification. But after some minutes something happened to his car.

"No. No. No." He said via radio.

He can't race anymore, his car stopped working only at the warm up lap. The garage started to move stressed and requested for a safety car to bring Charles back. My phone started vibratting and the screen lighted up with a Tom's message.

Tommy: That was Charles, right?

Me: Yeah...

I heard the door of a car closing and the next thing that happened was a surprise to me. Charles started to walk towards me and he hugged me in front of everyone.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked caressing his back. "I'm not" he whispered on my neck.

He started to shake and I searched for help with my eyes. A woman watched us and she waved to me catching my attention, making me go away from him and catching his hand walking in front of him. The woman lead us to an empty room and she smiled at me before closing the door.

"Hey" I put my hands on his cheeks lifting his head up. "No, please. Just... hug me."

I sighed and hugged him. He started to cry on me, wrapping me with his arms and making me caress his hair.

"It's okey to cry, Charles. I'm here, not going anywhere " I whispered softly.

He sat on the couch and I sat on his lap, humming on his hair trying to calm his nerves. When he stopped crying I took his face between my hands and dried his cheeks with my fingers.

"Everything is fine" I smiled to him.

He looked at me and started to lean on me, looking between my eyes and my lips. Our foreheads are touching and in one second his lips are on mine.

"I only know you for a day... but I already like you, Y/N" he sighed on my lips making me smile. "I like you too, Charles"

#charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles lecrelc #formula 1 #f1

[justaredheadf1fan]

Australian GP or how to turn shit around with a few track changes

Masterlist

Well, I’ve decided that apart from saying goodbye with a gif, I’m gonna start saying hello with a gif too, just like that. I’m crazy like that 🤣

Anyhow, I really woke up early today after another shitty night’s sleep in Barcelona so as to watch the circus, which cost me like a ton of effort, but it actually ended up being SO worth it, honestly. What a race! Holy hell, that was nuts, who would’ve thought the new Albert Park could give us so much in such a short time? I didn’t, that’s for sure, even though the weekend as a whole was quite a surprise.

First, we got Carlos losing positions right from the start (5 of them, to be exact) and then fucking shit up in Lap 3 and just like that, he was OUT. Not a Carlos fan, so one down, so many others to go. As laps went by, we saw how Seb lost the car again and was out too. Pretty shitty weekend for him and being his first race weekend this season, even worse. My poor man just wanted to drive and he couldn’t even have that. At least he hasn’t been penalized again. Aston Martin, please give man something good to work with, I’M BEGGING YOU.

Then we have our Australian Sunshine ending up 6th in his home race, which is pretty nice seeing his previous home races didn’t end up very well at all. However, I’ve read around my main account’s dashboard that apparently Mclaren asked him not to push Lando, who was already struggling, even though he was going much better overall, which if true, is very shitty. I see, in that case, that Mclaren haven’t changed their ways towards Daniel in the slightest, even in his home race, which is even worse. I’m sorry, I know Max knows them both well and I know what he said about what we all saw on DTS, but I for one believe that’s one of the few true narratives on the drama Netflix tends to creat around the F1 show tbh, for what I’ve heard/seen throughout my whole update process on the things I’ve missed these last few years before this new season started.

Then, there’s my beloved Demonic Sharl, doing his thing on his own with barely anyone to give him crap during the race, except for maybe the Safety Cars, which he almost complained about until he realized they couldn’t really do more than what they were already doing. His words. That’s so Charles honestly and I love it. Even at that point in a race where he’s building up some frustration like any of us would in his shoes, he’s capable of thinking first and not saying anything before having done so. Plus, he really shone when asking his engineer if he could go for Fastest Lap even though he already got a few of those at that point, which made it all the more hilarious. Their interaction really was fun to watch. He got Pole, Fastest Lap, lead every lap during the race, won the race AND was elected Driver of the Day as well, securing his Grand Slam. How cool is that? I’m so happy for him, really, I can’t help it, he just makes me smile with how good/funny he is. I mean, look at him, he already forgot that he learnt to wink back in Bahrain and now he can’t! He’s adorable.

What made me even happier than Charles’ weekend, was some Dutch driver DNFing. Highlight of my weekend. Talk to me about unreliable, huh? Really nice shit, only thing I missed was Checo DNFing too and that would’ve been the cherry on top, but I guess getting 2 for the price of 1 is a lot to ask for, so sacrificing #0 will have to do. Maybe even Horner ends up playing the same shit on him that he’s played on the rest of his previous drivers and moves Checo to 1st driver and leaves him for dead, who knows.

But, and this is a big but, I still can’t find the words for Mercedes. It seems to me, and I’m talking about what I see from my perspective, like they’ve given up on the Championship, or at least, on Lewis’ chance to get his 8th title. Don’t get me wrong, I love George and he truly did an amazing job (so far, he has in all races) and really deserved that 3rd place, so I’m happy for him, as all of us should be. However, what I see when it comes to Lewis, is that after last season’s ending, Toto’s promise at the end of DTS that “everyone will have targets on their backs” this year, and everything, not only have they build a tractor instead of a car but they also aren’t really helping Lewis as much as they should, in general.

What I’m saying is, George will have more than enough time to get a ton of podiums with Mercedes, I’m sure of it, but this year was the time to really help Lewis come back stronger than he already did (motivation wise, at least) on his own, help him finally achieve what he was robbed of last year, to get payback for all the shit he was put through thanks to our friends at RBR especially. Mercedes have won 8 WCC and 7 of them were thanks to Lewis mainly, there’s no point in denying it, because that’s how it is. They can build a hell of a car, but without a decent (or better even, the BEST) driver to push it to its limits, there’s no wins, no points, no WCC, no nothing. And if they’ve really given up the way I said before, if I’m proven right on this, they would have let down someone who deserves nothing less than to achieve finally what should’ve been his already, and also all of us who truly believe in them and in him and want to see him competing for a long time still.

What kills me is that he’s still very happy with just this after the shit he went through last year, because he knows how far that car’s limitations go, and it just makes me angrier. He’s obviously the better person and too good for his own good and ours, but I’m not, I’m a cunt, I’ll gladly be the worse person in his place. I truly hope that Mercedes prove me wrong. It’s not about winning per se, it’s about so much more than that after last year. Defending Sir Lewis Hamilton online isn’t enough, I need a gun.

Enough with the ranting for this week. We’ll have to wait until Imola to see if real changes come and this season takes a real turn for the better at least. Waiting another 2 weeks will be hard and I believe I have to work Saturday 23rd, so I’ll watch FP3 and the Quali session while at work. Who cares? Not me, that’s for sure. I’ll be watching, like a hawk. Okay, alright, two coffees with this much sugar really are affecting my brain more than the caffeine itself, so I’m just gonna leave this here for you darlings. Plus, I have a plane to catch 🥲

Peace out and see in another 2 weeks, unless there’s something interesting enough in the mean time until then.

#f1 #formula 1 #mercedes amg f1 #scuderia ferrari #aston martin racing #haas f1 team #mclaren f1 racing #alfa romeo racing #alpine f1 team #scuderia alpha tauri #williams racing #sir lewis hamilton #George Russell #Charles Leclerc #Carlos saint jr #sebastian vettel #lance stroll #mick schumacher #kevin Magnussen #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #esteban ocon #fernando Alonso #pierre gasly #yuki tsunoda #alex albon #nicholas latifi #australian gp 2022

[middleearthpixie]

Damaged Goods ~ Chapter Three

Author's Note: Just a reminder that this story follows the events of the miniseries Stay Close and will contain spoilers.

Title: Damaged Goods

Fandom: Stay Close

Pairings: Ray Levine x OC female Theodora (Theo) Bailey

Summary: Following the events of Stay Close, Ray Levine has come to the US to begin a new life and is staying with Theo Bailey, the friend of a friend, who is quickly becoming his best friend and Ray is starting to wonder if there isn’t something more there between them.

Like Ray, Theo has her own demons and although she wonders the same thing about Ray, fear of repeating past mistakes keep her from moving forward. Or do they? Somehow, these two damaged people will come together and discover that maybe—just maybe—second chances are worth the risk.

Theo gets a somewhat depressing taste of what Ray’s job entails and later on, a little soul baring leads to something more…

Warnings: This chapter does contain spoilers from Stay Close under the cut.

Rating: T

Word Count: 4,649

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @bitter-sweet-farmgirl @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @ocfairygodmother @exhausted-humxn-being @shalinizhara @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here and AO3

The worst part about Ray’s job had nothing to do with the depressing nature of photographing men and women cheating on their spouses, nor was it knowing he played a role in breaking up what must have overwhelmingly seemed like happy families. No, if anyone asked Theo, she could point blank tell them what a load of nonsense that was.

The worst part about Ray’s job was the boredom that came with sitting a car, waiting for something to fucking happen.

And not fall asleep in the process.

Because she was having one hell of a time staying awake. She shifted in the leather passenger seat of Ray’s Compass, fighting off the mother of all drowsiness, while Ray sat, camera at the ready, and waited for his mark to show up with his mistress.

“I don’t think anyone’s coming.” She glanced at the clock. It was nearly eleven. “I thought you said this guy shows up around nine?”

“That’s what Drew told me.” Ray set down his camera, a Nikon D5 according to the camera’s body. “But, I’m thinking you’re right and he’s a no-show. Guess she’s not a good enough lay to risk getting caught.”

“Oh, that’s terrible.” She glanced over at him. “At least, I think it is. It can’t be the first time he’s done this, or his wife wouldn’t know where and when.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s with the same woman. Guys are dogs sometimes.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” In the hour that she and Ray had been sitting in his car, in the half-empty lot at the Bayside Motel, Scott tried calling her three times. She had the ringer off, but the notifications still came through and with each call, the urge to just throw the phone grew stronger. She didn't want to talk to him. Didn’t want to hear his excuses. She’d been dumb enough to fall for them before. She wasn’t dumb enough to do so again. He’d left voicemails, but she deleted them. He’d eventually take the hint. Even he wasn’t completely stupid.

“So, maybe they went somewhere else.”

He shrugged. “Maybe they’re shagging in his car.”

She chuckled. “That does sound nicer than fucking.”

“It’s just as well. My ass is numb from sitting here. So, why don’t we—”

She grabbed his arm as a car pulled into the lot. “You said it was a Mercedes, right? Silver? Maybe that’s him.”

Ray lifted his camera as the silver Mercedes sedan eased into a spot closer to the pastel pink and blue building. The Bayside was a typical shore motel that catered to vacationing families in the summer and apparently let rooms by the hour in the off-season. It was no different from the other motor inns that dotted Thirty-Five all the way from Point Pleasant, along the Boulevard in the Seasides (Heights and Park) to Island Beach State Park at the tip of what were known as New Jersey’s Barrier Islands. This one was only two blocks from the beach, boasted a small pool on a raised patch of grass off to the side of the building, and probably saw more than its fair share of post-prom parties and summertime hookups—the sort of place where one would never want to shine a blacklight on any surface because it would probably haunt a body the rest of their days.

A man and a woman climbed out of the Mercedes and Theo fought the urge to roll her eyes. The man was probably close to Ray’s age—late forties, early fifties. But the woman? Well, if she actually was a woman, it was by a year or two at most because she barely looked old enough to drive, never mind be sneaking off to motel rooms with a married man.

Gross.

Ray was right. Men were dogs.

She turned to ask him if that was his guy, only to find the camera to his eye and the shutter clicking furiously. Closing her mouth, Theo settled back against the seat, just watching as he shifted the camera, made an adjustment of some sort, then brought it back up and documented the man and his mistress as they skirted the nose of the Mercedes and made their way to the second floor, disappearing into the room on the end.

Lowering the camera, Ray sighed. “That should be enough.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, angling the camera to go through the photos on the view finder. “You can see his face, you can see hers and I am not getting any closer. If she’s over eighteen, I’ll eat the XQD card. There’s a reason girls like that are called jailbait.”

“Are you talking to me or yourself?”

He looked up as if surprised to see her there. “Sorry, I was rambling on to myself. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, seeing guys my age running around with women her age. Hell, once I thought I’d probably be one of those guys.”

“She is not a woman. She’s a teeny-bopper.”

He broke down the camera and reached across to grab the bag on the floor at her feet. “Yeah, well, she’s woman enough for him and he’s desperate enough to believe she actually gives a shit about more than his wallet. Thank Christ I’m not that pathetic yet.”

She shook her head at the very thought. Ray might be a lot of things, but pathetic was definitely not one of them. Still, she thought his words were more for her benefit than because he really thought that way. What guy didn't want a hot, young chippy, who seemingly absolutely wanted to have sex with him, hanging on his every word? Somehow, she thought when push came to shove…

But, all she said was, “So, what now?”

“Now? I email these to Drew and get paid for it.” He looked down at the watch on his left wrist. “You’ve sat here with me for almost two hours just waiting for this clown, let’s go out and I’ll buy you a drink to say thank you.”

“Only one? This is depressing, you know. Sitting here, waiting for this jerkoff and his sugar baby to show up is one of the more pathetic ways I’ve spent a night.”

“I know. It fucking sucks, is what it does.” He stowed the rest of the camera in the bag, set the bag back on the floor, and turned the key to start the car. “Makes that paparazzi-for-hire thing look far more appealing, doesn’t it?”

“Weird, but I can definitely see the appeal after this.”

“Right?” He eased the Jeep from its slot and angled it out of the lot and onto the Boulevard. All was quiet at this time of year, the neon lights muted or off from the arcades and seaside bars. Many of the motor lodges were closed for the season, their lots hauntingly empty and desolate. The Jersey shore in winter was Theo’s favorite place for that very reason. The shore towns counted on the summer tourists to get them through the long winters, but she hated everything that came with those tourists. And when MTV aired The Jersey Shore, things got even worse for a while. Thankfully, the show was done and most of the residue had finally washed away.

Traffic was light along the Boulevard and as he merged onto Route Thirty-Five, Ray said, “So, where would you like to go? The boardwalk or somewhere away from the beach?”

“It’s six of one, half-dozen of the other. Boards are fine. We’ll freeze, but you don’t mind that anyway, so…”

“Well, it isn’t as if we’ll be sitting outside,” he told her. “And if you’re cold inside, I’ll give you my jacket again.”

“Deal.”

Ten minutes later, they sat at Surfside’s bar, each with a bottle of Blue Moon in front of them. It was actually kind of crowded for a Tuesday night, but it was an older crowd—closer to her and Ray’s ages, so it wasn’t too loud and the music didn't make the walls shake.

Theo’s phone buzzed and this time, she didn't even bother looking at it. Ray gestured to it with his bottle. “That’s the fifth or sixth time your phone’s gone off. If you aren’t going to answer it, why not put on silent instead of vibrate?”

“I hadn’t realized you were paying attention to how many calls I’d gotten.”

He grinned. “How could I not? It buzzes every five minutes. Who is you’re avoiding?”

“Scott.”

“If you want to call him back,” Ray lifted the bottle to his lips for a swallow, then lowered it to finish, “feel free. I don’t mind.”

“I have no desire to talk to that prick. Why should I? He’ll just promise me he’ll never do it—or her—again and in a week or two, guess what he’ll be doing.”

“This has happened before?”

She rolled her own bottle slowly between her palms. “Yeah. Twice. I’m such a jackass for letting him back into my life each time and I swore if he did it again, I would never take him back. Kind of a New Year’s Resolution, I guess.”

“Do you usually keep your resolutions?”

She met his gaze and shook her head. “No. At least, not this for this long into the new year.”

“Theo,” he took another sip, “it’s the fifth of January.”

“Well, so far, so good, then.” She stilled the bottle and shook her head. “I’d rather be alone than be with a guy who is just using me to fill in the nights he has nothing better to do.”

“You could do better than him anyway.”

“You haven’t even met him.”

“I don’t have to,” he shook his head, gesturing toward her with the bottle once more, “because I know you. A guy’d be lucky to have you and you shouldn’t settle for anyone who doesn’t see that.”

His words sent a funny little flutter through her and made another mouthful of beer absolutely necessary. “You have to say that or I’ll toss you out on your ass.”

“You would not.”

She sighed, and brought the bottle to her lips for a pull. Shock Top was her preferred brand, but Blue Moon was a close second, light and citrus-y. As she lowered it, she shook her head. “Nah, I probably wouldn’t. I don’t mind sharing my space with you. I just wish you’d stop sleeping on my couch.”

“I just wish you’d stop emptying your laundry basket on me.”

“How else do I get you to sleep in your own damn bed?”

“Obviously the laundry isn’t working. It’s just easier to flop there when I drag my carcass in during the wee hours of the morning.”

“So, keep more regular hours.”

“I would love to, but people don’t tend to cheat from nine to five.”

She drained the bottle and set it back on the bar. “You need a better job.”

“No fucking shit.”

Her gaze went to his arm resting against the bar. He’d pushed his sleeve up just enough for the Cas part of Cassie’s name to be visible, along with the bottom part of what reminded her of a skeleton key, although the bottommost part of that was hidden beneath a bracelet of woven black leather. She understood the name, of course, but couldn’t quite make the connection to a key, because he certainly didn't strike her as the sort to go for something as sentimental as her having the key to his heart.

But then again, maybe he had been at one point. She didn’t know. Much of his past was a mystery to her and she really hadn’t asked him much about it. Maybe it was time to do just that. But carefully. And tactfully.

Which was something she struggled with, to be honest. Tact was not her strong suit.

Still, there was only one way to find out.

“What about you?” she blurted before she talked herself out of it. “Was she your wife?”

“She?”

Theo pointed to the tattoo on the inside of his right forearm. “Cassie. Was she your wife?”

“My wife?” He glanced down and with his index finger, traced over the swirling letters that spelled out her name. It was a fairly decent-sized tattoo, taking up most of that forearm, but Theo thought it looked a little clumsy, like perhaps it had been done by someone just starting out and not exactly seasoned with a tattoo gun. She knew better than to say that, though, just as she knew better than to ask him what he’d been thinking, getting a woman’s name tattooed on him. Everyone knew doing so was the kiss of death for the relationship, or so most of the tattoo artists she knew thought.

Instead, he looked up, then gestured to the bartender to bring them another round. “No. Almost, but we never made it that far.”

“Oh, did something happen to her?”

“You could say that.” He dug into his back pocket for his wallet, setting a twenty on the bar to cover it. “Put your money away,” he growled at Theo as she unzipped her wristlet. “You get the next round.”

“What next round?” She eyed the fresh bottles before them. “One of us has to drive.”

“I’ll call an Uber if need be. My car’ll be fine. Besides, it takes more than two or three beers to lay me out.”

She shook her head as he picked up the second bottle. “I’m not that lucky. Two is my limit.”

“I’ll drive. You’ve been bored out of your fucking skull for the last two hours.”

“Ray.”

“What? I’ll be fine. Promise.”

She just stared at him for a moment, then shrugged and lifted the bottle. But before she drank, she blurted, “What happened? With your fiancée, I mean?”

“She… uh… she disappeared.”

Theo froze without taking a sip, then lowered the bottle. “What?”

“Yeah. And I don’t mean in an I haven’t the foggiest what happened to her, but she left me.” He took a long pull off the bottle, then lowered it to add, “Just fucking disappeared one night. I thought she’d killed this guy and it turned out that she hadn’t but her friend did and I—”

She waited for him to go on, but instead, he tilted the bottle and drained half of it, then lowered it. “What did Ty tell you about me? When he asked you to let me stay with you?”

“He said you’d been involved with a woman named Cassie and her friend was legit crazy and that was it.” Her stomach did an odd flutter and she wondered for a moment if she should have picked Tyler’s brain a little deeper. Was there something about Ray that he should have told her and didn’t? Like something to do with murdering a guy back in England? “Ray?”

He looked around. The crowd had picked up a little, but the bar area was still fairly empty. “Come on. I’ll tell you at home. Too many people here.”

She hesitated briefly, then chided herself for being an idiot. He’d been living in her apartment for over a month now. If he was a psycho killer, she’d be dead by now. So, her cheeks growing warm with embarrassment, she slid off the stool and nodded. “Okay.”

His hand came to rest warmly at the small of her back as he guided her back toward the front door and out into the frigid night. The wind whipped in off the water, raking though her hair to send it in all directions and she wished she’d brought a hat with her. She broke into a sprint to get to Ray’s car as fast as she could, but she still had to wait, shivering, because he didn't sprint.

“Unlock it already, will you?” She stomped one foot, then the other as another brutal wind gust tore along the boards. “Damn, sometimes I wish I lived in Florida.”

“Really?” Ray popped the locks and then opened the driver’s door to angle in behind the wheel. “I don’t see you as a Florida type.”

“What does that even mean, the Florida type? What do you know about Florida?” She yanked open her door and all but threw herself into the passenger seat. “You’re English.”

She clawed her hair out of her eyes to find him giving her a look. “What? You are.”

“I am,” he nodded, “but I’ve been all over the world. Trust me, you aren’t the Florida type. You’re the Jersey shore in winter type.”

She scowled. “Cold and desolate?”

“To a certain degree,” he slid the key into the ignition and cranked it over, “yes.”

“Thank you.”

He switched the heat on and she winced at the icy air blasting from the dash vents. It smelled like snow, icy and clean, with a hint of sea-air tang. She couldn’t get it closed quickly enough.

“For what it’s worth,” he added, backing out of the spot, “I happen to like cold and desolate. There’s a certain… poetry to it.”

“Sure, if I was a fucking beach, I’d be beautiful.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw him glance over at her and in an offhanded voice, he said, “You are beautiful. Just not in the Florida sun bunny way.”

“Sun bunny? What does that even—no, you know, I don’t want to know. I don’t need any reminders that I’m barreling into old age. I prefer to fool myself into thinking I’m still twenty-nine.” She wrapped her arms about herself and stared ahead into the darkness. She didn’t want to hear how she was unconventionally pretty. Unconventionally pretty meant just attractive enough to not look like a bridge troll, but not exactly the type of woman who drove men wild. She was the sort guys liked to hang out and watch football with. She was not the sort they bought drinks for and fell all over themselves in the hopes of catching her attention. It was something she’d made peace with years ago, after yet another guy offered up the You’re like a sister to me or, it’s not you, it’s me excuses. Maybe that was why she’d been so willingly to try to look the other way where Scott was concerned. True, he only used her, but still…

Her gaze went to the dark ink stretching across the backs of Ray’s hands from his shirtsleeves. No one would ever tattoo her name on their forearm.

“Old age? You’re younger than I am and I don’t consider myself as being old.”

“You’re also a guy and everyone knows it’s not the same for guys. You’re allowed to get old. Women aren’t. That’s why you’re out taking pictures of guys your age sneaking around with girls young enough to be their daughters. I’ll bet you do that more often than you take ones of older women sneaking around with younger guys.”

For a moment, she expected him to argue and tell her most guys weren’t like that and that of course there were plenty of cougars on his watch as well. But then, he tapped his fingers lightly against the steering wheel. “Yeah. I think we’re hardwired to search out younger women. Propagation of the species and all.”

“Propagation of the species. And even when I was that young, I knew I didn't want kids, so there would be no propagating there.” She sighed softy, leaning her head back against the seat as the butt warmer kicked in and a soothing heat swept up into the middle of her back.

“Odds are, that guy doesn’t want them with his girlfriend, either. He just wants to know he’s not old and what better way to prove it to himself than shagging a far younger model?”

She bit back another sigh. That didn't make her feel any better and she wished she hadn’t said anything about Florida to begin with. Getting older was difficult enough as it was and now she’d just depressed herself on top of everything.

Ray hit the turn signal and made the left off Polk into the driveway, carefully easing between her Jetta and Graham’s Toyota.

Inside her apartment, Theo shrugged out of her jacket. “Well, now that I’ve depressed myself but good,” she said, hanging it up, “how about that third beer?”

“Sounds good. Sit,” he pointed to the laundry still on the sofa, “if you can find a spot, and I’ll grab them.”

While he went into the kitchen, she swept the laundry into the basket and set it on the floor alongside the sofa and when he came back, Ray grinned. “You live like I did in college, you know.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not bad, it’s just… not what I expected when Ty told me you’d agreed to let me mooch off you.”

“You’re paying rent, Ray.” She took one off the bottles. “It’s not mooching if you’re paying rent.”

“Either way, I thought you’d be uptight about a lot more than you are and that I’d be killing myself to find my own place. But,” he sank onto the coffee table across from her, “I like it here. And unless you want me to leave, I don’t mind being here a little longer.”

“How much longer?”

“Are you in a hurry to have me out?”

“I don’t know. It depends on the story you were going to tell me.”

“The one about Cassie?”

She nodded. “Unless there is a second deep dark secret about you, yeah. The one about Cassie.”

His smile fade and he lifted the bottle to his lips for a long pull. Theo didn't push, but lifted her own bottle as she waited. Then, he set it down and said, “I thought she’d killed this guy. She was a dancer and had been seeing this guy when we met. Stewart Green.”

A stripper. Or course Cassie was a stripper. A drop-dead gorgeous one, too, no doubt. Still, she nodded. “Why did you think she’d killed him?”

“He used to smack her around. She finally left him and we hooked up and ol’ Stew didn’t like that very much. He started showing up at the club on nights she’d be working and he and I got into it more than once, but it never got out of hand because you’re really not going to kick a guy’s ass in the middle of a strip club, right? Anyway, one night, I was late getting to the club and as I was walking up from the parking lot, I saw her come out of the building and go off into the woods, like with a purpose. So I followed her and I—”

He stopped, his gaze going to the beer bottle between his tattooed hands. He rolled the bottle slowly, without looking up, and finally, she said, “You don’t have to tell me, if you’d rather not.”

He looked up then, his blue eyes direct as he shook his head. “No… I don’t mind… it’s… well, by the time I reached this clearing, she was nowhere to be found and he was there, dead and bloody and I thought she’d killed him.”

Theo’s stomach twisted at the hints of pain in his deep voice. “So what happened? Did she ever explain it?”

“Not for almost twenty years.” He set the bottle on the table next to him. “I didn't see her after that night until about a year ago. But,” he paused again, drew a deep breath, and said, “I thought she’d butchered this guy, and I couldn’t let her be charged with murder, so… I dragged him out of there, cut him up, and disposed of him.”

He spoke about it so calmly, so matter-of-factly, as if of course that was what one did when one happened upon a murdered guy. The pit of her stomach just felt clean away. Her mouth went dry. She swallowed hard. “Wh-what?”

“Yeah. If you can believe it.”

“Wait… are the cops going to show up here looking for you?”

“No. I’ve already been through it all with the police back home. They originally thought I’d murdered Green, but it’s all good now. I’m in the clear. And Cassie is now Megan Shaw. She got married not quite a year ago, after Green’s murder was solved.”

“So… you’ve pined for this woman for almost two decades?”

“I did. I didn’t know why she’d left. I didn’t know where she’d gone. All I knew was she was gone.”

Theo sighed softly. “You put yourself in danger of being charged with murder for a woman who just up and vanished on you?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Wow. She must have been something.”

“She was.”

Theo’s heart skipped a painful beat at the hints of longing in Ray’s voice. Two decades. Cassie just up and left him. She married someone else, and he still pined for her, from the looks of things. Just her luck.

Not that it mattered. They were roommates. They were becoming friends.

Nothing more and nothing less.

But, as she sat there across from him, she realized she wouldn’t have minded it if there was something more.

But there wasn’t and he was obviously still not over Cassie-now-Megan, and Theo was not about to throw herself at a guy who would be thinking about another woman while he was with her. Been there, done that, and didn’t even have the crappy tee shirt to show for it.

She moved to stand up, and apparently Ray’d had the same idea, for she found herself face to face—or rather, face to chest, since he was so much taller than she was, and as he stood, he said, “Theo, I didn't quite mean it—”

“You don’t need explain anything,” she told him, reaching around him to snag his empty, “I mean, she is important to you.”

“She was,” he corrected her as she straightened up, and he took both bottles from her, “but that was a long time ago.”

She looked up at him again. “You don’t need to explain anything further. I’m just glad you weren’t charged with murder.”

A car door slammed in the distance and Ray cleared his throat. “Theo, I—oh, fuck me—”

With that, he bent toward her and a moment later, his lips crashed against hers. He caught her around the waist, the beer bottles banging softly against her back, but she paid them almost no mind as he bent her back ever so slightly and his lips softened against hers. Soft. Warm. They moved slowly against hers, parting as his tongue probed gently against her. She parted her lips, her toes almost curling at the teasing glide of his tongue along hers. The arms about her tightened, pulled her closer still, and as she draped her arms about his neck, his shaggy hair brushed the backs of her arms, the backs of her wrists.

His kiss came slow and deep and teasing and it was, without a doubt the best kiss she’d had in a long time. Maybe in forever. All she knew was butterflies went wild in her belly, her blood seemed to heat up like water in a kettle, and every instinct she had screamed at her to grip his tee shirt by the back and tug it up.

When he drew back, they were both on the breathless side and for Theo, she couldn’t remember the last time her heart beat fast enough to make her feel somewhat dizzy. He met her gaze and offered up a sheepish smile, whispered, “I’ll not apologize for that, you know,” and angled in to capture her lips once more.

#richard armitage #stay close #stay close fanfic #fanfic #ray levine #ray levine x oc #romance #friends to lovers #damaged people #healing #love story #some smut

[khaleesiofalicante]

MALEC WEEK - IDIOTS TO LOVERS

Most people despised getting older. But Magnus actually loved it.

The older you get, the wiser you become.

Every year, life teaches you something new. Something important. It never missed.

And this year, Magnus had learned a very valuable lesson indeed.

Never ever take advice from Ragnor Fell.

“A long drive would do you some good, Magnus,” Magnus imitated his friend’s words with a scowl. “You can look at the trees, Magnus!”

Magnus looked out of the window, fanning himself with one hand. “WHERE ARE MY DAMN TREES?”

There were no trees. There was no scenery.

It was just dry, dry land. And the sun was out to get him today.

Sure, the view wouldn’t be much from an airplane either. But at least he would be sipping cocktails and instead of drowning in his own sweat.

“I’m going to kill him,” Magnus promised himself in a soothing tone. “I’m going to kill Ragnor when I get to the guest house.”

They were all supposed to meet up at Ragnor’s guest house for the old goat’s birthday. But thanks to this endless drive and the merciless sun, it seemed that they would probably be going to Magnus’ funeral first.

“I will pay in sweat,” Magnus said in a calming tone. “And Ragnor will pay in blood.”

There was something in the distance. Something big and black. He thought it might be an animal. He couldn’t even see properly – thanks to all the sun and the sweat. He squinted harder and saw that it was a car.

A broken-down car.

“Just keep driving,” Magnus told himself. “Not your problem. Just keep driving.”

But as he got closer, he slowed down – because of course he was going to help a stranger out.

Maybe god would look kindly at this good deed and bless him with spontaneous rain.

He parked his car and hopped out, shaking off the sweat and exhaustion. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Something’s up with the stupid engine,” a voice said from behind the raised hood of the car.

“Well, technically something is down with the stupid eng-” the lame joke died in his throat. “Holy shit!”

“Excuse me?”

It was a man.

A gorgeous man.

Without a shirt.

It was a gorgeous man without a shirt.

“You okay?” the man reached out.

Magnus jumped back like a rabbit.

He was positive that he would spontaneously combust if the man touched him.

“Your face is burning,” the man pointed out. “You sure you are okay?”

“Yeah,” Magnus gulped. “You’re hot.”

“I-What?”

“You’re hot,” Magnus stammered. “I’m hot. We are all hot. It’s the stupid climate.”

“Oh, right,” the man chuckled nervously and pointed at his naked chest. “I know. I literally had to take my shirt off.”

Magnus just smiled – not trusting his own mouth. “So, car broke down, huh?”

“Nah, I’m just standing here for fun,” the man said dryly.

Oh god. This wasn’t going well. Get it together, Magnus!

“Anything I can do to help?” Magnus asked.

“You know anything about vintage cars?” the man asked, his tone not condescending, just curious.

“Duh,” Magnus replied with a confidence that came out of nowhere. “I’m actually a vintage car expert.”

He didn’t know shit about vintage cars.

Fuck, he didn’t know shit about regular cars.

The man bent down, peering into the engine again. “They are thing of a beauty, aren’t they?”

Magnus was sweating again. But he doubted the sun had anything to do with it. “Yep. Beauty indeed.”

“That’s a nice vintage ride too,” Alec pointed at Magnus’ car. “That’s a Mercedes 300SL Gullwing, right?”

Fuck if he knew. It was Ragnor’s car. He was just driving it back.

“Yep, that’s correct,” Magnus nodded.

“Hey, you have any water?” the man suddenly straightened up. “I actually ran out a few miles ago.”

“Um, yeah. Hold on,” Magnus nodded and jogged back to his car.

He threw the plastic bottle at the shirtless guy, who caught and poured some of it into the car.

And then this man, this beautiful human specimen, had the audacity to spill the rest of it on his head.

The water cascaded down his naked upper body and Magnus gulped – perhaps even audibly.

“Oh, sweet baby jesus,” he muttered to himself.

“What?” the man asked.

“It’s hot,” Magnus said.

The man cocked his head. “The climate?”

“Obviously,” Magnus nodded. “You think, uh, you think you can fix it?”

“I’m not sure with this damned heat” he said, passing the bottle to Magnus. “The engine should cool down though - thanks to you.”

“You’re welcome,” Magnus smiled. “So, I guess…I guess I should go.”

The man blinked – as if he hadn’t expected that at all. As if he had expected Magnus to just hang around out and chat with a random shirtless man on the side of the road.

Oh if only…

“Yeah,” the man nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for the water.”

Magnus managed a polite smile and let his feet drag him back to his car.

“Unless you want to help,” the man yelled.

“I would love to help,” Magnus yelled back.

“Great,” the man smiled and for a moment Magnus wanted to kiss Ragnor for sending him on this cursed roadtrip. “I’m Alec.”

“Magnus,” he grinned. “So, um, let’s get started.”

Oh god. Oh god. What does he do? What does he do?

“I’ll get the tools,” Alec pointed out and went to the trunk.

Tools! Of course, you need tools to fix a car! Duh!

“Would this do?” Alec asked, showing Magnus an unnecessarily large box of…well, tools. Magnus didn't really know what they were called. 

“Um, I think so,” Magnus said airily. “I need to assess the problem first.”

He bent over to at least give it a shot and heard the man cough.

“You okay?” Magnus asked.

“Um, yes,” Alec replied, staring at Magnus. “You’re pretty.”

Magnus stood up straight and banged his head on the hood.

“I mean, you’re pretty far from town,” Alec explained with a flush. Stupid California sun. “Road trip?”

“Apparently,” Magnus chuckled, ignoring the pain on his forehead. “You?”

“Driving up to see my brother,” Alec answered. “But now…Well, I’m not so sure.”

Oh.

Oh wow.

“You think so?” Magnus asked.

Magnus didn’t know the feeling was mutual. Maybe they could go to Ragnor’s guesthouse together. That would be a nice payback.

“Well, I can’t really make it all the way there without a car,” Alec explained, and Magnus wanted to face palm so bad.

Of course. Of course, he meant the car.

“You think you can fix it?” Alec asked.

Magnus put on a grave face. “I’m afraid the damage is serious.”

“Wait, what?” Alec sounded surprised.

“Yeah, you probably won’t be able to drive it ever again,” Magnus said sympathetically. “Your engine…opener is…rusted.”

“My engine what?” Alec looked confused. “It’s new!”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“It’s a common problem with vintage cars, actually,” Magnus pointed out with fake confidence.

“Is that so?” Alec asked, giving him that smile that only made Magnus want to keep lying and hang out here a little longer.

“Yep,” Magnus said and pretended to focus on the car again.

“What are some other common problems with vintage cars?” Alec asked curiously. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to know.”

“Um,” Magnus said. “The accelerator can get, um, greasy sometimes.”

“Oh really?” Alec asked. “Why is that?”

“Um, humidity,” Magnus pointed out.

“And how would I fix that?” Alec asked,

Damn, this guy had a lot of questions about vintage cars.

“Oh, you just take circle thingy,” he picked up a random tool from the toolbox. “And just, uh, rub it on the accelerator.”

Alec’s face looked odd. Like he was going to sneeze.

“And what should I do if the engine is overheated?” Alec asked.

“That’s simple,” Magnus felt like he knew the answer to this one. It's just like coffee. “You just blow on the engine until it cools down.”

Alec bit his lip. Maybe a demonstration was in order?

“Wait, I’ll show you,” Magnus said and bent down again to blow on the engine. “It’s not that diff-”

“DON’T DO THAT!” Alec yelled and yanked Magnus back.

He did with such force that Magnus ended up almost falling. But Alec caught him by the arm and steadied him quickly.

“You don’t blow on an overheated engine, Magnus!” Alec said. “You could have burnt yourself!”

“I was being careful!” Magnus complained.

“You were being reckless,” Alec pointed out. “Do you know anything about vintage cars?”

Well, he didn’t see any point in keeping this up.

“They are expensive?” Magnus asked cheekily.

“You could have messed up my car,” Alec said – sounding a little pissed off. “Or worse. You could have gotten hurt.”

If Magnus knew one thing about vintage cars was that they were actually expensive. Did Alec just say Magnus getting hurt was worse than getting his vintage car damaged?

“I’m fine,” Magnus shrugged it off. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. 

“The car is fine too,” Alec pointed out. “The water should help.”

“Well, if it was fine then why did you ask for my help?” Magnus demanded.

“Why did you pretend like you can fix my car?” Alec countered.

They were just staring at each other in the middle of the road. It was like a stare off or something.

Magnus lost of course. Because he was still aware that Alec was not wearing a shirt and his eyes may have travelled a little south from his face.

“Fine, I lied,” Magnus put his hands up.

“I lied too,” Alec said a little lamely. “I actually fix cars as a hobby.”

“But then why-”

“Why do you think?” Alec asked, rolling his eyes.

“Ohhhh,” Magnus said. “Well then…I should get going.”

What! Why? Stay back!

Alec who had looked surprised quickly recovered himself. “Alright then. Enjoy your road trip.”

Magnus nodded and walked back to his own car.

There was no reason to hang around here. There was nothing wrong with his car. He didn’t have anything else to do but get in, drive and go to Ragnor’s birthday party.

Stupid perfect car!

And then it struck him. He almost felt his eyes twinkle at the thought. He quickly bent down and let the air out of the front wheel.

Ragnor would just have to make do with three wheels. Sacrifices had to be made in the name of love and shirtless strangers.

“Alexander!” he called.

Alec jogged over to him – still without a shirt of course.

Bless the California sun.

“What happened?” Alec asked.

“Flat tire,” Magnus gave his best pout. “You think you can help me with that?”

Alec grinned.

“Well, I’m not sure,” Alec’s eyes twinkled too. “But luckily I know a vintage car expert.”

#once again I am here to sell you some crack :) #THIS IS A CRACK FIC #im sooorrrryyy #malec week

[sunaswife]

Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.

note from denise: TAGLIST CLOSED

Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload

Previously Up Next Masterlist

Chapter seven

“Alrighty give mommy kissy.” You squatted down. Both of your kids tackled you in a hug and they kissed your cheeks. You kissed them back and pulled away. You watched as they walked to the bus.

Even though they’re homeschool, they offered a program where your kids can still go to class in person once a week so they can socialize and it won’t affect their mental health. After talking to another mother who put her kids in the same program, she recommended it and you decided that it was best.

Your kids already socialized in their volleyball practice but it wouldn’t hurt for them to talk more with other kids.

You saw as Rini helped his sister up the bus first and blocked the back of her skirt from showing her shorts underneath and you lowkey wanted to cry because he was such a gentleman. He then got in and they sat together on the right side of the bus and they waved you goodbye. You waved back and the bus began to leave.

You sighed and turned back home. You washed this morning’s dirty dishes and cleaned a bit around. After you were satisfied with the presentation of your house, you made your way to your small studio office and began answering more emails and writing topics for the new podcast episode you and Jamie had to record.

You took another sip of your barley warm tea and finally you heard the doorbell ring. You glanced at the time on your watch and realized it wasn’t 12 yet, it was probably Jamie.

You carried your laptop and placed it on the dining table and ran to the door. “I’m coming!” You yelled as Jamie rang the bell again. You opened the door revealing your two best friends and you were shocked to see Hana. She’s your best friend from highschool, the one who blocked the boy’s numbers and let you spend the night when you got kicked out.

She was also the one who was rooting for you and Suna but she was more than furious when she found out what happened. You called her on New Years and started balling your eyes out.

You told her to never date boys cause they sucked but little did you know she had a big crush on you. You were her first love.

I guess you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. So when Rin started to take your attention, she felt jealousy and loneliness but your happiness mattered more than her selfishness.

She became a fashion major in University but dropped out because she didn’t like what they were teaching. With the bit she learned and already knew, she turned into art. She made beautiful leather pieces of lingerie with straps and belts and lace and the models needed dramatic makeup and hair. And you happened to know an amazing makeup artist.

That’s where Jamie came in.

And eventually they fell in love.

Hana is always busy with her lingerie company since everything is hand crafted and not made in a factory like Jamie’s makeup products. So that’s why it was a shock to see her here during the day at least. “Come in come in. Mi casa es su casa.” You said in broken Spanish and they laughed.

Jamie sat on the dining table and sighed. She rubbed her baby bump and you asked if she wanted something to drink. You got her water as well as some wine for Hana. “So they’re really coming over?” Hana asked as she opened Jamie’s laptop and set it up for her wife.

“Yeah I hope so. If they flake I’m not gonna give him another chance. I already told the kids he’ll be here and they’re excited.” You said and she nodded. “Good.” Hana replied. You and Jamie began reading eachothers notes and topics regarding the podcast. “I think Hana is gonna have to take my place on the podcast if I pop.” Jamie mentioned randomly.

“Hell no.” Hana immediately said. “That’s a you two thing I’m not getting into it.” Hana said sternly. “But Hana, since Jamie got pregnant. You didn’t have a face for your spicy lingerie line. So I temporarily replaced her. Surely you could do the same!” You exclaimed and she rolled her eyes. “Speaking of lingerie I have something I want you to try for the next photoshoot. I’ll go get it after my smoke.” She said and you rolled your eyes with a nod.

“It’s pretty hot, like a harness thing on your wrist that connects to your thighs.” Jamie spoke up as Hana left. “Where does Hana come up with these things?” You asked and Jamie made a smirky face. “Nevermind I don’t wanna hear about your guy’s sex life.” You shuttered and she snickered.

Hana got out your front door, walked to her fancy Mercedes and took out the gift wrapped box as well as her favorite pack of smokes. She sat on the small bench in the front of your house and she lit the lighter, breathing in the nicotine. She sighed and wondered if you’re going to be okay with your ex seeing his kids.

If it was her she would refuse to let him see them and take it to court. But you weren’t like that. You always had hope and patience that you’d meet Suna again someway somehow.

She heard a car door slam and looked up to see the three tall figures get out of a car. She exhaled the smoke and they looked up to see her. “It’s been a long time, huh?” She tilted her head to the side and Suna scratched the back of his neck as he neared. “Hana I—I’m sorry for everything.” He said. “I trusted you with my best friend and you hurt her. I don’t think I could ever forgive you for hurting my first love like that.” She spoke bitterly and put out the cigarette in the small froggy bowl turned ashtray that the twins made.

“First love?” Osamu asked and Hana stayed quiet and motioned for them to follow her. Suna didn’t know what to say, after you left Hyogo Suna began bugging her for answers and she went off on him once and that’s when he realized that Hana was gay and in love with you the whole time.

Immediately when the door opened they heard yelling and singing. Obviously confused the boys looked at eachother but Hana seemed unfazed, she’s used to her wife’s chaotic nature and even though you’re pretty quiet and collected you make a complete 360 with Jamie around. You were both like Yin and Yang.

“Shh she’s been trying to get this song down for weeks.” Hana whispered as the boys followed through the small hall. They looked at the photos that adorned the wall and they saw baby photos of Suna’s kids and they truly looked like him. From the corner of his eye, Suna saw a photo of you with Shawn Mendes and smiled that you finally had a chance to meet your celebrity crush.

Suna nor the twins didn’t know what to expect when they saw you again. But they were shocked to see you in your true nature with studio headphones over your ears as you sang each note higher and higher. Jamie was yelling and slamming the table with her palm encouraging you to keep on going. Jamie used to do that in parties, drinking games were her favorite.

You finally finished the song and you took off your headphones and started screaming. “SIX WEEKS IT TOOK ME SIX FUCKING WEEKS TO COPY IT TO A T! I DID IT OH MY GOD!” You yelled and Jamie yelled again too. “BITCH I TOLD YOU YOU COULD DO IT BUT YOU-“

“SELF-“ punch

“DOUBT-“ punch

“ALL-“ punch

“THE-“ punch

“TIME!” punch

“Alright alright I get it goddamn—if you weren’t pregnant you know I would punch you just as hard.” You scowled as you rubbed your arm. “Sorry y/n.” She apologized and chuckled. “We’re not interrupting right?” Hana spoke up causing you and Jamie to turn. The three men stood behind her and your face fell. The air shifted and you suddenly felt cold.

“No just work stuff.” You said and you quickly stood up. “Welcome to my home. You’re welcome to sit at the table.” You said and closed your laptop. “Would you like anything to drink..?” You asked, trying to be hospitable and Hana scoffed. “Give them water, you don’t have to be nice to them.” Hana said and she sat by Jamie. You bit the inside of your cheek and looked at the three men. “Water is fine..” Suna spoke up and the twins nodded.

“Sit.” Jamie said and motioned to the dining chairs. They all sat awkwardly while waiting for you to come back from the kitchen. You had your tray with their water, more tea for you and Jamie, and a glass of wine for Hana.

“Alright where do we start..” you said as you sat down next to Suna since that was the only empty spot. “The beginning.” Jamie shrugged. “I already explained what happened. I told her everything.” Jamie told the boys and immediately Atsumu scowled. “Knowing you you probably made yourself sound less bad.” He muttered, immediately Hana was about to say something but you interrupted. “Did you make the bet?” You asked the blonde, “Y..Yeah..” he frowned and shifted in the seat awkwardly, “Did you accept the bet?” You turned to Suna. “Yes..” he said guiltily. “Did you think Suna would win?” You asked Osamu. “Yeah.” “Jamie Did you think pissy— I mean Atsumu would win?” You asked her and she sighed a yes. “And did you all bet with money?” You asked. They all replied with yeahs and yes’s.

“Did you guys agree to quit because it was wrong?” You asked and they all nodded. “Then that’s all that happened. I don’t need to know anything else.” You explained.

“Look guys.” Jamie spoke up and she tapped her manicured fingers on the table nervously. “It took a long ass time for Y/N to forgive me and trust me, I ruined her life and I’m blessed to have met her. Without her I’d probably still be in an abusive relationship. Without her I wouldn’t have learned how to be humble and grateful for even waking up in the morning. She’s my best friend and I’m telling you straight up if you truly want to be her friend again. You need to work for it, Suna if you really want to be in the kids lives and earn Y/N’s trust you truly need to work for it.” she said almost desperately.

“If you ever disrespect her again. I will not hesitate to sock you in the face and I’ll call up Tobio if I have to. That goes for all of you.” Hana told the three men.

“Do you guys have anything to say?” You asked. “I would apologize but I’d rather let you see it than hear it.” Suna spoke up and you nodded. “Alright.” You said simply.

“I’m sorry, Y/N-cha—I mean Kageyama.” Atsumu said. “I’m sorry Kageyama.” Osamu finished and you nodded once more.

“Okay this is awkward. I forgave you guys a long time ago but I don’t trust either of you. Atsumu, Osamu you are not obligated to be my friend. Suna you aren’t obligated to be my friend either but I would appreciate it if we were civil with one another for the sake of the kids. If you ever have any questions regarding the kids I’ll be happy to answer.” You told him as you played with the tea bag in your cup, and they all stared at you.

Like that’s it? You forgive them? You’re not going to throw your tea at them?

“Um I kind of want to ask about the ya know..”

“Pregnancy?” Hana raised a brow and Suna nodded awkwardly. “Like when did you find out....and is that why you left?” He asked. “If its alright can we talk about that in private?” You asked and stood up. “Y-yeah sure.” Suna stuttered and he stood up as well. “Hana, Jamie you don’t mind—“ “The bus honks at 13:30 we know. We’ll be able to hear it.”

“Yeah and we have a lot of catching up to do.” Jamie fake smiled and you wanted to snort at the her disgust and their awkwardness. “Alright follow me.” You motioned down the hall. You opened the door to the kids room and you took a step in. He followed you and closed the door. You both released a sigh and you sat on Akira’s bed. “You can sit there.” You motioned to your sons bed.

He nodded and sat on the small bed. “Okay so..the pregnancy..” you started. “Mhm.” He nodded. “I found out on January 25th, I wasn’t feeling the best for a while and I couldn’t handle the discomfort anymore so I went to the hospital with my mom. The doctor asked me the basic sex questions and tested my urine. My mom came into the room when I was told the news and I was basically disowned.” You sighed and leaned back against the wall.

You hugged your knees to your chest. He could already feel the shame you must have felt in his chest. “I had to walk to the pharmacy in my school uniform to get to prenatales since my mom told me to walk home. When I finally arrived home, my room was trashed and they were asking if you happened to be the dad. I told them no. He even threatened to kick me out and I told him I didn’t know so I was kicked out and I left. I spent the night at Hana’s and the next day I resigned as the team’s manager, and gathered all my papers to transfer.” You said and he rubbed his face and sighed.

His birthday.

You found out on his birthday.

He patiently listened and asked a few questions here or there and before you knew it you barley heard the faint foot steps and the door bursting open. You both turned to see your guy’s kids standing there. “See I told you they were talking.” Akira mumbled. “Aunt Hana said something about them making out.” Rini huffed.

“She said making up not out! Are you an idiot or an idiot?!” Akira said slightly frustratedly. “I’m older than you, don’t call me an idiot.” He said and shoved her. Before you could scold your son, you saw Akira’s whole demeanor change and you knew Rini was fucked. “How many times has mom said to stop shoving girls and pushing women! If you keep at it than you’re going to be a bad husband to your future wife someday you stupid Rabbit!” She yelled as she tackled him and began smacking him around. “Get off me you nerd!” He yelled and you quickly pulled Akira away.

Rini began crying and Akira did too and you sighed and turned to Suna.

“Welcome to parenthood.”

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @tpwkatsumu @ohshirabu @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar

#haikyuu suna #miya atsumu #suna rintarou fluff #suna rintarō #suna x reader #haikyuu x you #miya osamu #suna imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! x reader

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

If Glee did a Taylor Swift Tribute Episode...

Just my opinions, feel free to add on to them. I know I have some fellow gleek swifties following me. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Obviously they have to do some of the hits but I think some people would have some out of the box picks.

*This post assumes all Taylor songs are available to choose from as of May 14th 2021 but focuses on Taylor’s first 6 albums (if you want more glee and Taylor I have fics with that; LOVER and FOLKLORE) and takes liberties with where this episode’s placement is in terms of canon. But since it’s all made up anyway who cares (but Blaine’s involved so I guess season 3 idk).*

Okay, trying to do a full plot here (completely inspired by @kurtdeservesbetter head canon posts. I hope this lives up to her fabulous posts). This will be my version of glee so everyone gets solos and Rachel can’t hog the spotlight. Also, this is about to be super long (both post wise and episode wise).

Let’s open the first episode with

...Ready For It because the New Directions are in their reputation era. Santana does the opening cough centerstage. Everyone in black and/or camo green outfits (can you just see Kurt in a dark green bedazzled snake jacket, Santana in a black leather dress, and Tina digging out some goth clothes for people to borrow?), snakes everywhere, but probably no Karyn (she just wouldn’t fit on the auditorium stage). Santana takes the first verse but we have Blaine step up for verse 2. (I just love their friendship in the Michael tribute, cute little badasses are BACK. Also him singing “Burton to this Taylor” is such a Klaine thing to do).

Everyone is still dressed in their rep outfits but we’re in the choir room now. Mr. Schue is talking about why Taylor had to disappear and clap back with rep, how rough the industry is for women and tries to uplift the ladies in the room and encourage them to not silence their voices (cue snarky comment from Santana about Rachel needing to be silent).

Then, Mr. Schue goes on about how you can only understand how Taylor got to her rep era by studying her earlier music. So we have a performance of Tim McGraw. Simple, front of the choir room performance, maybe Puck does guitar, and sitting on stools.

Everyone is surprised to find out how pumped Sam is for this assignment but he is all over it. “It's about time we did some country in this room.” Cue Sam and Quinn at her locker talking about their ‘date’ last night, Sam’s all cute and teasing and Quinn is not into it. She tells him it was fun but she was wrong, they shouldn’t do this again. In turn, he does a wonderful performance of Bye Bye Baby. He thought it was more but clearly he’s “a part of her past.”

Then, we’re in the empty choir room. Tina and Mike are there. (I love their cutesy duets) They sing Everything Has Changed and it’s utterly adorable. Can’t you hear Mike asking Tina if she’s “good to go” like Ed does? And while we’re on the subject of cute duets and RED, we flash to the courtyard to see Santana and Brittany. They turn Stay Stay Stay into a duet. “I’ve been loving you for quite some time,” “before you I only dated self-indulgent takers who took all their problems out on me,” “no one else is gonna love me when I’m mad, mad, mad,” and “it’s occurring to me that I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life” it’s perfect for them. Adorable ladies kisses are had.

Let’s toss in some boy drama for fun. Idk shit about football but somehow Puck is praised by their coach over Finn, which gets him all pissy, and Puck’s upset and jealous because Finn is back with Quinn now (this is why Quinn shut Sam now earlier, she changed her mind). Can we say duet of Bad Blood? “So if you’re coming my way...just don’t.”

After their dramatics, we have a Brittany solo in the choir room. It’s after school at this point (or whenever glee club is). Brittany does You’ll Always Find You Way Back Home.

When she finishes Mr. Schue tries to explain that it’s a Hannah Montana song. Britt injects that it’s confusing how she’s really Miley Cryus “like how can you be two people at once?”. Before Mr. Schue can continue, Kurt pipes up “you never specified that the songs had to be sung by Taylor Swift, just that they were her songs.” Mercedes adds, “yeah, Mr. Schue, Taylor wrote that song.” Mr. Schue concedes that he has once again been outwitted by Kurtcedes. The friends do their little hand shake thing.

With a sigh, Mr. Schue asks Mike if he’s ready to go and Mike asks to take things to the auditorium for some dancing room. Everyone’s on stage with him and it’s kind of a group number but Mike is the focus. It’s Shake It Off. All inspired by the music video. He’s tried to fit in elsewhere (i.e. football, with the smart kids, etc..) but he’s really himself in glee when he’s dancing.

Part 2 of Taylor Tribute Episodes

We begin with an ALL GIRL NUMBER of A Place In This World. Just because.

Glee is dismissed and we zoom in on Artie. He’s watching Tina with Mike and Brittany with Santana. Both Tina and Britt have broken his heart by this point. So, he’s rolling down the halls singing A Perfectly Good Heart. While Artie’s soloing, we cut to Rachel watching Finn and Quinn chatting. Artie’s song playing over this scene. Rachel is feeling similar to him at the moment.

She’s pretty sure Finn dumped her to be with Quinn again even though Kurt and Blaine told her they saw Quinn and Sam at the movies last night together making out in the back row. Fine, if that’s how he’s going to be, she doesn’t need him anyway. Cue Mr. Perfectly Fine. Uber dramatic solo performance walking around McKinley’s halls watching Finn and Quinn together ending in the auditorium alone. (see what I did there, both broken hearted peeps singing a song with Perfectly in it (this was not at all planned, actually, happy accident))

After some good old heartbreak, we have Kurt and Blaine on screen. Blaine walks into the auditorium to see Kurt sitting on the edge of the stage. “What’s all the fuss?” he asks from the door. Kurt had texted him “EMERGENCY.” The band starts to play and Kurt just starts singing, Enchanted. It’s time to profess their love for each other, just like they sing Perfect together in the car, this duet needs no audience. Blaine catches up and sings while walking towards his boyfriend. It’s very reminiscent of past New Directions competitions where they come in from the back and make their way to the stage. “Wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you?” Kurt and Blaine both know the answer to that question now but just a few months ago they were both wondering that exact thing.

They kiss before we cut to Kurt and Blaine walking hand in hand into the choir room where everyone else is already. Mr. Schue is praising the performances thus far and of course asks Rachel if she’s ready to solo (some practice for her completion solo). This causes an uproar from Mercedes and Santana. Another classic argument of how she gets too many solos. Mr. Schue tries to shut them both down but Santana tells Rachel to watch her back, and we get three very different reactions to this. 

All three girls storm out.

First, we visit Mercedes alone in the courtyard. This solo is all about being hurt over this great thing in her life (glee) and her being denied happiness within that club. Thus, Cold As You. (mostly to indulge myself because she’d blow us away with this song).

Next, Rachel in the auditorium. A huge bridge on stage (very Speak Now Tour of her), belting out Better Than Revenge. Santana’s dropped the last straw (the humiliation, name calling, Finn at one point and now solos,) it’s too much this time.

And finally, Santana walking around McKinley, showing us flashes of Rachel ‘outshining’ her and the rest of glee and Mr. Schue being unfair, while singing Look What You Made Me Do.

Tina walks out at the same time as Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana but no one seems to put two and two together. She feels just as underutilized as the latter two do. She ends up in an empty classroom and sings The Outside. “Nobody ever lets me in” and “on the outside looking in.”

Once the 3, err 4, divas have left the room, Finn sticks up for Rachel. Quinn, of course, has something to say about this along the lines of “you always defend her.” Finn, intimated by her ‘scary Quinn’ fumbles and blurts “because she’s my girlfriend” WHICH IS NOT TRUE AT THIS POINT. Quinn dumps him on the spot, cuts quickly to Blaine and Kurt sharing some ‘oh my god, can you believe this’ expressions, and vanishes from the room.

By this point, Rachel is long gone from the auditorium but the bridge is still there.

Here’s where we go way off script but imagine, Quinn has decided to just quit boys. They’ve all failed her anyway, she’s better off being alone. She walks up the bridge and thinks to herself “god Rachel’s so dramatic, where did this thing even come from” before it hits her “fuck, I’m as bad as Finn. I want her.” Then, she starts singing Clean to herself in the auditorium, likely tearing up throughout and ending with a good cry. (Because Dianna would DELIVER with Clean.)

While Quinn is having a sexuality crisis, the rest of glee is still happening. They’re discussing upcoming competition and debating solos and songs.

Kurt’s all: “Mr. Schue, if I may” and performs a lovely rendition of Call It What You Want. Those opening lines are too good. “My castle (ie McKinley) crumbled overnight, brought a knife to a gun fight (ie couldn’t fight off Dave Karofsky), “I’m doing better than I ever was ‘cause my baby’s fit like a daydream,” and “at least I did one thing right.” When he’s done, Blaine’s a mess in the back of the choir room, and Mr. Schue says: “not really what we’re looking for but very nice, Kurt” however, Kurt’s too busy sitting beside Blaine teasing him about blushing.  

Then, the missing girls return to the room having sung out their emotions. Quinn, having realized her feelings for Rachel, ends up soloing You Belong With Me to the New Directions in the choir room. Odd looks all around, no one knows what’s up with her and why does she keep glancing at Rachel? (Faberry just fit so well I had to add it, don’t know if I’m a shipper or not but it’s here now) (also thanks to @spicygemini for pointing out the obvious “Quinn would have ate YBWY”).

Mr. Schue wants to move the group to the audition to perform their final number of the Taylor Swift tribute well but Tina asks to sing first. He’s surprised but allows it, taking a seat with the rest of the New Directions.

Tina sings Beautiful Ghosts. “Watch from the dark, wait for my life to start” because New Directions is refusing to use her talents AGAIN. She’s singing this to Rachel and the girls who were in the Treble Tones. Because she absolutely SMASHES this number, the glee kids agree she gets solo for their next competition (and they deliver on that promise).

To conclude Part 2 of the Taylor tribute episode, we have a group performance of Long Live. “One day we will be remembered”, “all the years we stood there on the sidelines wishing for right now”, “for a moment a band of thrives in ripped up jeans got to rule the world” ie wining completions, “when they look at the pictures please tell them my name...”

#this took so long please enjoy it #Taylor tribute glee episode #glee head canon #gleek swifie #glee #taylor swift