#is that the ultimate tragedy? the people who hurt you just get to go on being normal

[hailsatanacab]

new chap new chap new chap 👻🎉

#dpxdc #batpham #dcxdp #dpxdc fic #my LORD this chapter my GUYS #there was such a different ending to this you would not BELIEVE #i cut so much out i am RUTHLESS #and really tired lmao #danny was meant to destroy his phone in front of bruce and bruce would have done that double take 'good lord' gif #hey guys can i hold a poll for what should happen to the fentons because i am honestly stumped #i know how everything else is going to happen but i have no idea what a satisfying resolution for them would be #perhaps there is none #is that the ultimate tragedy? the people who hurt you just get to go on being normal #nothing has changed in their life at all #and nothing about you will ever be the same again #man poor danny 😔🤚 #love you my boy. despite all the shit i'm putting you through #cetbwa #FUCK i forgot to tag it #ah well #UGH someone talk to me about motivations before i FUCKING LOSE IT #guys i have work tomorrow i'm going to cry. i have to sleep early rather than lose my shit on the internet. #girl woes #anyway! #goodnight my bugs my loves and my sweet turtle doves #i'm so tired #night

[flightfoot]

Adrien Angst Fics and Series that finished in 2023

So I love some good Adrien angst and hurt/comfort, and I figure a bunch of other people do as well! Hopefully these fics scratch that itch! They're all from the collection I set up earlier for the fics from 2023 that I recommend! I've got 31 fics in here. It's a popular genre that I like a lot, there are a lot of fics for it!

home is where the fight is by @rosie-b

Nadja Chamack’s voice greeted Adrien as he sat up straight, wiping his clammy hands on his pants and ignoring the black kwami floating by his shoulder. “—shocked to see our heroine fall in battle today, taking a direct hit from the akuma just as she detransformed. Parisians are torn between blaming Hawk Moth and Cat Walker for their roles in this tragedy, which ultimately revealed the civilian identity of Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” Adrien turned off the TV and lowered his head as his vision blurred. Written for Ladrien June Day 7: Injured

I adore this fic! Which shouldn’t be a a surprise, it’s no secret that I love Sentiadrien Enemies AU. Adrien’s so worried about Marinette getting hurt, and wishes that he could help keep her safer, could tell her what’s really going on or get rid of the ring or something, but he can’t. Still, he IS able to find clever ways around some of his father’s more problematic orders. Loopholes for the win!

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Guilty by Association by @rosie-b

Marinette respected Adrien’s strength and courage more and more every day. No matter how many times people threw nasty words or literal tomatoes at him; no matter how many companies refused to work with him anymore; no matter how clear it was becoming that he would never be forgiven for his father’s crimes, he chose to greet new people with a smile and hope that this time, someone would recognize the kind heart hidden behind his hated name. She wished she’d had the chance to meet him before she’d accidentally ruined his life. Written for the Ml Writers Guild September event ‘back to school’

I love how Marinette keeps reaching out to Adrien, trying to protect him, even if it doesn’t always work. To let him know that she’s in his corner at least. Hawk Moth had to be taken down, but the consequences for Adrien… she never wanted anyone to get hurt in the process. 

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oh, look now, there you go with hope again by @ladyofthenoodle

After the defeat of Hawkmoth and his accomplice, Chat Noir, Marinette is ready to return to her normal life, but she can’t escape Adrien Agreste, who was sentenced to a fate many consider worse than prison: public school. Specifically, her public school. Still, that doesn’t mean she has to interact with him, does it? Except, if she doesn’t… who will?

I love a good enemies au, and seeing the aftermath of an enemies au… that’s rare. She’s wary of Adrien, but with how he’s being bullied, and how he’s just taking it in the hopes of being accepted, she can’t help but reach out to him.

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Disintegrated Pancakes by @scribeofrhapsody

Adrien had started expecting the family breakfasts. He had NOT been expecting his father to collapse in the middle of one.

I’m shocked I haven’t seen more of this sort of thing, with Adrien finding out his father’s Monarch via seeing the Cataclysm wound. I love that Alya gets involved in this, being the person Adrien runs into after fleeing the room, and then Adrien getting to talk things out with Gabriel and Nathalie. Thankfully Gabriel is at least not completely incapable of being reasoned with here, or things could have gone worse than they did. It’s a nice little read, though with an ambiguous ending (at least at the time when I write this).

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with this ring by @thelibraryloser

She thought “you and me against the world” had sounded like lopsided odds before, when she hadn’t even dreamed “you against me” was a possibility. Or maybe she had dreamed it, but at least in those dreams he’d had cold blue eyes and a stark white mask. The villain she’d fought today had looked at her through her partner’s own bright green eyes. It wasn’t meant to be this way.

Short and sweet Sentiadrien enemies canon divergence fic here! I adored Marinette finding out why her kitty seemed to have “betrayed” her, and the righteous anger on his behalf once she figured out that it wasn’t of his own free will. Her comforting Adrien about it was just… really good. It’s a Hawkmoth Defeat fic too, so the immediate aftermath gets covered as well. Adrien needs a hug.

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Nothing Else Matters by LiquefiedStars

Marinette couldn’t figure out Chat Noir. He was supposed to be her partner, but instead ended up working for Hawk Moth. Still, her heart betrayed her and when a strong connection forms between them, Ladybug goes to Chat looking for answers, finding out more than she bargained for.

Sentiadrien enemies AU fic! He never wanted to fight against her, but Gabriel caught him before he could transform for the first time, and with his father using his Amoks against him, he had no choice. 

I like that there’s a solid explanation for why Fu let Adrien keep his Miraculous even though he’s been working against Ladybug, I don’t often see explanations for that that I’m satisfied with.

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Slowly Fading (from my misery) by @wehadabondingmoment

“You’re looking awfully deep in thought today, minou.” Ladybug’s gloved hand stroked over his hair and Chat Noir closed his eyes with an unstable breath. He got like this sometimes. Lately, it had been getting worse. Or: Gabriel likes using the rings to order his son around. After a while, it starts having effects on Chat Noir as well. (The more often Gabriel commands Adrien to act a certain way, the more it gets ingrained in his mentality. He suffers because of it.)

This is a gorgeous fic. Adrien’s been puppeted around, forced to obey orders for reasons he doesn’t understand, for so long, so often that a lot of times his own body doesn’t even feel like his. A lot of residual orders keep on bubbling up and stopping him from doing what he wants to do, and he just… doesn’t understand why. Considering how Adrien looked in Pretension when Gabriel forced him to go to his room so he could talk to Marinette alone, and how desperately Adrien tried to head back there but couldn’t make himself open the door, how terrified and confused he’d seemed, I think his feelings here, his mindset, is pretty close to canon.

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all of your flaws and all of my flaws (are laid out one-by-one) by @coffeebanana

Ladybug and Marinette have both been acting strangely since Monarch’s defeat, and Chat Noir would give anything to know why—to be able to help them. He just…didn’t expect his answers to come when Ladybug drags him to his father’s statue in the middle of the night along with a bag full of spray paint.

If you felt unsatisfied with Adrien being left in the dark about Monarch, with Ladybug lying about Gabriel being a hero, this is a great fic to read. Marinette’s breaking down keeping this secret, seeing people treat Gabriel as the hero she told people he was, until she finally snaps and has to do SOMETHING, has to tell SOMEONE the truth. 

Which Chat takes pretty well! He knows how persuasive his father could be, and he’s mostly just relieved at finally hearing someone say that Gabriel wasn’t a hero. It’s still a lot to cope with though.

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Falling (sick) with you by @chocoluckchipz

Nothing would be easier than taking a pair of earrings off an unconscious Ladybug. Doing so would bring his mother back and end their decade-long strife. He shouldn’t be hesitating when a chance of a life time presented itself to him. He should not be looking for excuses and reasonings as to why spending another twenty or so years fighting this woman rather than pleasing his father and giving his mother another chance at life was not such a bad idea after all.

Ah, I love a good enemies au! Even when they’re enemies, Chat is unwilling to hurt Ladybug. Though honestly, he makes himself out to be more of a villain than he actually is, it’s pretty obvious to everyone that he’s not trying as hard as he could to get her earrings. There’s very good reason for that.

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adrien agreste and the consequences of tweets making fun of yourself by Anonymous

Well, Adrien thinks, what’s the worst that could come from a few poorly thought-out tweets lightly ribbing his own civilian identity?

I love the focus here on how people just assume what Adrien’s thinking and feeling and act on his behalf, without actually waiting to see what HE wants, and Adrien’s growing frustration. How they create a version of him in their heads, but don’t care to check with reality to see whether he actually wants their “defense”. 

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what makes a human (am I?) by GraceM_TheStoriedLife

Adrien comes to Marinette’s out of nowhere. Usually Chat is her rock. Tonight, it’s her turn. (Or, in which Adrien discovers some secrets he’s not prepared for and Marinette is as Marinette-y as always.

So Adrien discovers he’s a sentimonster and immediately runs to Marinette for support. It’s as cute and angsty as you’d expect. She is, of course, very supportive of him. Also some discussion of Gabriel being abusive, since both she and Nino had been trying to get Adrien to see that. Especially with how, exactly, Adrien found out he’s a sentimonster. He can relate a little better to Felix’s experiences now than is healthy, I’ll just say.

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Vengeance Noire by @phiellydinyia

After a horrific argument with his father, Adrien escaped from the mansion with his heart in pieces. In hindsight, it made sense why an akuma was sent his way. He shouldn’t have let his emotions get the better of him. But he never expected Plagg to be even more upset than he was. He never expected his own kwami to be akumatized. To become the threat of a city he swore to protect. And what’s worse is the fact that Chat Noir can’t jump in to save this one. But Ladybug can. And that’s why he has to find her as quickly as possible, suit or no suit.

I love some good Adrien angst, especially with a delicious side order of Plagg and Adrien’s bond with each other. Even as Adrien’s barely functional, though, he’ll do everything in his power to save Plagg, even if Plagg wishes he wouldn’t go quite that far. 

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This Distance Between Us by @coffeebanana

After defeating Monarch, the search for the Peacock Miraculous brings Ladybug and Chat Noir to a hotel room in London. But it’s hard to enjoy the victory when Ladybug can’t figure out why Chat’s been so quiet, why he seems so sad. How’s she supposed to help if she has no idea what’s wrong?

This is a great Sentiadrien fic, with Chat freaking out about it and feeling like he’s not worthy of Ladybug’s affections, but not telling her what’s actually wrong because he thinks she won’t want him anymore if she knows. Of course, he’s wrong about that.

Also there’s a pretty intense confrontation with Felix, pissing Chat Noir off is a bad idea.

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Rocking the Cat-Eyes by @buggachat

“I like being a girl.” “That’s the alcohol talking,” Marinette snorted. “I’ve always been a li’l jealous,” Adrien admitted. “… Of what?” “That you get to be a girl,” Adrien murmured, “and I don’t.” — When Marinette and Adrien host Girls’ Night at their apartment, Adrien is easily welcomed to attend as “one of the girls”… but has a bit too much to drink. Some drunken confessions are spilt, some assumptions are made, and most of all… Adrien is confused.

This is a great Genderfluid!Adrien fic. Marinette actually figures out that Adrien’s not entirely cis before he does, and tries to let him know she’s supportive… but unfortunately Adrien comes to some incorrect conclusions…

Anyway it’s a lot of fun, and Adrien rocks a dress and makeup!

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Family by @unecoccinellenoire

“You know,” Nino grins, “if you need advice on being a big brother in a year or two I’m sure I could help.” The bottom of Adrien’s stomach dropped out. — Adrien struggles with the concept of his father and Nathalie having children.

So this is a world where Adrien and Marinette managed to defeat Gabriel, taking his Miraculous, with them giving him an ultimatum: they won’t out him as being Hawk Moth so long as he doesn’t cause any more trouble and does right by Adrien. Gabriel does, in fact, move on finally to Nathalie, giving Adrien a lot of mixed feelings to deal with. He still loves them both despite everything, but he’s also angry at them and he definitely does NOT want them to have children, both because he thinks they’d like any biological child they had more (he’s also harboring guilt from indirectly being the cause of his mom’s death), and because frankly, they screwed up too much with Adrien for him to want them to inflict that on another child.

And then there’s also Adrien dealing with the realization that he’s a Senti on top of that and wondering why he and Felix look the way they do, what Emilie’s reasons were.

It’s mostly just Adrien getting to talk things out, navigating this emotionally fraught situation he finds himself in now that the dust is settled.

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When Secrets Come Undone by SortaArtsy

Ladybug promised not to tell Adrien… but she never promised not to confide in Cat Noir. What happens when Ladybug unintentionally vents to the one person who wasn’t meant to know any of it? ****MAJOR SEASON 5 SPOILERS WARNING! **** May not be season 6 compliant when it comes out.

This is a “Adrien finds out what everyone’s been keeping from him post-S5″ fic, and I think it’s handled really well! He feels very hurt, betrayed, and disbelieving initially about being a Senti and his father being Monarch (…mostly being a Senti, it ain’t that hard to believe that Gabriel was a supervillain), and is angry at everyone who kept it secret from him, but he still handles it well, going and talking to the people involved, getting their reasoning and perspective. 

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Wanted: Catnap by SortaArtsy

Adrien Agreste has barely been sleeping, trying to be everything expected of him. What happens when he spreads himself too thin? Sick!Adrien/ Cat Noir

Adrien’s just pushing himself so hard, trying to do his regular duties, until his illness forces him to rest. I love how concerned everyone is over him - even GABRIEL eventually relents and wants him to rest. It’s just cute and nice and fluffy.

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a winter so warm by @rosekasa

winters were hard for even the best of vampires, but at least adrien had marinette to keep him warm with her cuddles. december was going to suck without her. so it was only to be expected to get extra cuddles in before she left, right? (well, not really, considering those heating supplements he was taking, but she didn’t need to know about that).

This one’s mostly just cute cuddly adorableness! It’s basically like all those “Marinette gets the Ladybug trait of needing to cuddle up to someone for warmth”, but with Adrien instead. And of course featuring Marinette being a very talented witch who just wants to help Adrien stay warm when she isn’t there XD.

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and I thought I heard you sing by @into-september

When Hawkmoth has been defeated and unmasked, Marinette is left with two problems and no solutions. First, that Adrien is further out of her reach than ever before, and no-one can tell her how to get to him. Second, that Cat Noir is far more troubled than she knew, and the only thing she can do is wait for him at the place they agreed to meet.

It’s your classic “Hawkmoth’s defeated and taken into custody but that means Adrien’s in for a rough time” sort of fic. Everyone’s worried about Adrien and wants to give him what comfort and support that they can, but he’s being hidden away from everyone (which I mean, honestly that’s a good move), so that’s not really possible. Plus, Ladybug’s noticed that Chat’s having a tough time in his civilian life, which worries her.

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Betrayal by @jennagrinsoverml

MAJOR EPHEMERAL SPOILERS!! Ladybug planned to use Viperion’s power of Second Chance to get Chat’s identity to Su-han without Chat knowing or agreeing. Of course, then the world went crazy, and she didn’t go through with it. But when an akuma exposes Ladybug’s plan to Chat, he doesn’t know that. He just knows that his Lady betrayed him. He deals with his feelings in the best, most mature way he can think of. He disappears.

So I, like a lot of others, wanted more follow-up on Ephemeral, and particularly on the betrayal of trust it was for Marinette to try to trick Chat Noir into giving up his identity to a third party without his knowledge or consent (I wrote my own take on that at the time, called Transcient, that I’m proud of). This fic did a good job of exploring that, with Adrien reacting in a manner that made sense to me (repressing his negative feelings about the situation as much as possible and trying to justify it to himself, but still feeling terrible despite his own best efforts), and how Marinette realized that she messed up, since Luka keeping it secret that he knows hers and Chat’s secret identities caused her to be upset as well. It did a great job of exploring those negative feelings and letting everyone talk things out, explain their viewpoints, and rebuild their relationships afterwards, which is something I really value.

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I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious) by @bbutterflies

Nino looked at the number and didn’t recognize it. Usually he wouldn’t answer, but he had nothing better to do – and could still really use a distraction – so he did. “Hello?”

“Hey, Nino.”

Nino stood up quickly, chest tightening. He knew that voice. He’d been waiting to hear it again for over two years. “Adrien?” he whispered.

“Yeah. It’s me."

-

When Monarch is defeated (and revealed to be Gabriel Agreste), Chat Noir immediately goes missing. Adrien disappears not long after. When Adrien finally shows up in Paris again, Nino would do anything to make sure he doesn't disappear again.

Ah this is lovely, Adrien’s been in a lot of emotional turmoil since Monarch’s defeat, convinced that everyone would hate him, SHOULD hate him, for not realizing that his father was the villain, and should hate him even more for disappearing like he does. But slowly Marinette and Nino get through to him, convince him that they just want him back. 

And also Adrien and Nino smooch. Multiple times. So that’s a bonus XD.

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Two Steps Back (One Step Forward) by @buggachat

Sure, Adrien hadn't been texting her as often as he used to. And sure, Nino noticed it too. But just because Adrien had struggled with depression in the past, didn't mean he was struggling now. Surely, he'd tell her if something was wrong. Right?

Marinette just missed him, and she had a tendency to catastrophize. Surely, he was fine.

But if he wasn't... well, she wasn't above hopping on a flight back to Paris to make sure.

—————

Marinette's at an internship in New York, and Adrien has a depression relapse.

Once again buggachat comes out swinging with a fic centered around Adrien being super depressed and his friends charging in to help him, despite him not wanting them to because he feels like a burden. It’s not easy and Marinette goes through a lot of emotional turmoil, especially since his apartment is in bad enough shape that it can’t be changed to something that a human should be living in without also going shopping, but gradually she helps drag Adrien out of the hole he’s gotten himself stuck in. The emotions are on point and just... if you want to read a hurt/comfort fic with Found Family helping one of their own who’s struggling and doesn’t think they deserve it, this is a great fic to read.

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If only I could break free by megetstoread

It started with Adrien being upset about going away, but led to a lot of revelations.  

Another Sentiadrien fic here! After telling Adrien that he’s being sent to London, Gabriel takes advantage of Adrien being distraught to akumatize him. Luckily Ladybug’s right there and deakumatizes him before he can even do anything, but it shakes both her and Chat, leading to her allowing him to tell her a lot more about his home life than usual, and for her and Adrien to investigate to see whether there might be more to Adrien’s inability to stand against his father than just psychological abuse.

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Dr. Walker & Kitty Hyde series by @pearl484-blog

Summary of the first fic, Rain Falls, Everybody Lies:

Chat Noir loves the rain. He loves the danger. He loves the excitement, and he especially loves how much Catwalker hates it. 

Jekyll and Hyde AU

Adrien AUGreste Entry 3: Rain

So like the summary says, and the title indicates, this series is inspired by the popular conception of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - not how the book actually goes, but how it’s portrayed in popular media, with Jekyll splitting himself in two, with a “good” side and a “bad” side. 

During Kuro Neko, instead of just changing his appearance through changing his mindset, Adrien took more extreme measures, sealing off his “undesirable” characteristics, his anger and sadness and all his sharp edges, into the ring so he could assume a more placid, genial persona that’d be more accepted - Cat Walker. 

But Chat Noir’s still there, taking over whenever Adrien gets too testy, and desperately trying not to be pressed out of existence entirely. With embodying Adrien’s sealed anger and snappishness and rebelliousness, he’s not too kind to the other heroes - he already felt looked down upon and ignored before this, and seeing them accept Cat Walker while he’s fighting for his life doesn’t endear them to him either.

The series isn’t unfair to them - this isn’t a case where one party is entirely in the wrong and another’s entirely in the right. Marinette, Zoe, Nino, and all the others - they did wonder about what was going on with Chat, but he wasn’t in a position where he could see it, and he did have legitimate questions about how much Ladybug would budge on things, if he’d told her what he was going through. It’s a series that emphasizes characters hurting and lashing out in some terrible ways, but that hurt still being respected, and working things out, trying to get everything to a better place.

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The Parable of the Caller by @nemaliwrites

A week after Hawk Moth’s identity has been revealed, Adrien finds himself with nowhere to go, nothing he can do, and worst of all, strange gaps in his memory he can’t explain. In a stroke of luck, he stumbles upon a burner phone filled with voicemails from one of the Saviors of Paris: Chat Noir himself, who disappeared following Hawk Moth’s arrest.

But with each new voicemail Adrien listens to, he’s forced to confront the fact that there might be some kind of connection between himself and Chat Noir — and discovering it might leave him more broken than before.

I absolutely adore this fic, it’s a fantastic character study for Adrien! Basically in this universe, Ladybug and Chat Noir talked about who should be Guardian, with Chat eventually convincing her that he should be the one to take it on, primarily due to the whole “the Guardian gets amnesia about Miraculous-related matters” situation, and wanting to protect Ladybug from that. Then he finds out Gabriel is Hawk Moth, they take him down, and he relinquishes the Miracle Box and his guardianship to Su Han - all without having a Reveal with Ladybug, since well, he’s not in the greatest shape mentally at the time.

It’s a real treat to see Adrien’s thoughts and feelings about one of the Heroes of Paris leaving him all these voicemails, treating him like this close friend for reasons he doesn’t understand, and just seeing Chat Noir as this outside person. He’s got a very different viewpoint on Chat when looking from the outside than he would from the inside, with being able to see his heroic and good qualities far more easily when he doesn’t know that he is Chat.

Also Marinette’s struggling in the background of the fic with the loss of her partner and guilt over sending Adrien’s father to prison. It gets touched on at various points, and you can tell that she’s having her own story off to the side that we’re just not entirely privy to, what with this tale being told entirely from Adrien’s perspective.

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call it even by @anna-scribbles and @sha-nwa

After a year of dating, there is one thing Marinette knows for certain: it's her and Adrien against the world. Through it all, Adrien is kind, patient, and endlessly understanding—even as she tries her best to keep her secret superhero identity hidden from him along with the rest of the world.

Nothing could ruin it, not even the supervillains of Paris: Hawkmoth and Chat Noir.

(adrinette dating // ladynoir enemies au)

This is one of those fics where Adrien and Marinette are REALLY going through it emotionally, with them starting off with wildly different perceptions of each other when untransformed, and then reckoning with the person they love the most being someone they think of as a villain, with all the betrayal and doubt that involves. Especially with Adrien having been lied to extensively by his father, and not knowing who or what to believe.

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drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat

Everybody had expected Monarch's defeat to be a moment of triumph. Nobody had expected Gabriel Agreste, unmasked and mind frayed from continual abuse of the miraculous, crying out to all who would listen and making Paris certain of one thing:

His son, Adrien Agreste, is one of his sentimonsters.

And now he's missing.

Nobody can find him— not even the superheroes, and not even his closest friends. But Marinette, Nino, and Alya aren't ones to give up so easily. They'll find him, no matter what it takes.

(But, geez, would it kill Chat Noir to lend a hand?)

I’m sure everyone saw this one coming. If there’s one thing buggachat’s good at, storywise, it’s capturing raw, tumultuous emotions, frantic breakdowns as the characters desperately try to navigate bad situations. This was a real treat to read, as I’m betting most people reading this will agree, given just how popular the fic has been. It also has a ton of fanart, both by buggachat and by random fans, if you go looking for it (there’s a drowning in plain sight tag which I’d advise perusing). 

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Eventually by @lucid-ao3

Adrien’s life has been dictated by rules, monitored, and controlled for years. He has learned to compartmentalize. It’s not that bad. It always gets better, eventually. Doesn’t it?

Recovery can be an unexpected obstacle when you didn’t realize you were being hurt in the first place.

OR: How Adrien lives and copes with the emotional abuse inflicted on him over the years, and how he ultimately could overcome it.

If you want a good “Adrien doesn’t realize how abusive his father is but slowly buckles more and more under his tyranny, until things come to a head, and he actually gets the HELP HE NEEDS” fic, this is a good one!

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Not a Monster at All by @book-sandwich

Adrien Agreste overhears a conversation he shouldn't, and a revelation sends him falling onto the terrace of the only person he can trust: his good friend (?) Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Takes place sometime after the first two episodes of season 5!

As you can probably guess from the title, this is a Sentimonster Adrien, Monarch takedown fic. Adrien’s going through a tough time, and Marinette’s just trying to be there for him as his whole world’s collapsing around him. Unfrotunately, they still don’t know what the object is, or how likely Gabriel would be to control Adrien if he hinted that he knew the truth, which leaves Adrien in a precarious position - still not having done an identity reveal doesn’t help matters.

It’s a really solid fic for the genre, though since it started up before the later parts of season 5, there are a few things that don’t match up with the canon information we obtained later on. 

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Awaken by InkyIbis

The previously white butterfly, now oozing black and purple as a conduit of the butterfly miraculous powers, flutters softly within the silvered-gloved hand.

It sits there for a long time.

"Go, my akuma," The soft sigh pushes the butterfly, the akuma, out towards the despair of a love not returned. The same ache within his chest. On a level so great that he's willing to sacrifice the city to mend it.

It's okay if he's the villain for now. He'll force the miraculous of creation and destruction to be revealed, and once he gets his hands on them, none of this pain, none of his loss, will ever happen.

This is essentially a canon rewrite for Miraculous (specifically seasons 1 and 2, with a bunch of the events mixed around) that focuses primarily on Adrien, with his relationship with Nino being the main driving relationship of the fic. (Don’t worry, Marinette’s still treated fine, she’s just not the focus). This is the best “rewrite Miraculous with more of a focus on Adrien” type fic I’ve seen, with it reworking the plots of the episodes so that they’re different enough to be their own distinct thing - it’s not trying to just rewrite the canon episodes but from Adrien’s POV, there’s a lot of lore changes going on as well, and things occur in different orders.

Like lorewise, Chat’s given a more important role in cleaning up the mess the akumas leave, with his power helping to cleanse akuma victims and he and Ladybug needing to use their powers in tandem in order to cast Miraculous Ladybug. There’s also no Miracle Box holding the kwamis. Instead, Chat sometimes surpasses his limits and ends up summoning kwamis, which is dangerous to him, but very useful.

What really makes this fic great though, is its focus on Adrien’s emotions. You really get a feel for Adrien’s insecurities, especially when it comes to not feeling like he’s good enough for Nino, with not wanting to bother him when he absolutely should, with feeling like he’s not a good enough friend to him, and then there’s dealing with all of Gabriel’s usual abuse on top of that.

Speaking of Nino, this is an Adrino fic (though several characters get crushes on Adrien, Nino’s the one who matters most for this), though a slowburn one. Nino’s clearly head-over-heels for Adrien, but Adrien has like, no context for what a romantic crush feels like and is basically viewing Nino the way he viewed Marinette in canon prior to season 5. He clearly cares for him a lot, including romantically, he just... doesn’t get it.

Anyway, if you want an interesting canon rewrite fic from Adrien’s perspective with Adrino as the main pairing, this is a good story to pick up!

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one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic rec #adrien agreste #angst #adrien angst

[ghenry]

Rewatched the Avatar TLA series with my partner recently, and fell in love with the world and characters all over again. I especially love the journey Zuko goes through the show as a character.

Zuko, son of Fire Lord Ozai. He seems pretty by-the-books at first as this angry villain, but something that makes him immediately unique for this kind of setting is his young age. He's barely older than Aang, our child protagonist.

"You're just a child." "Well, you're just a teenager!"

Although early on you start getting the idea that there's more nuance to him than this villain trying to incapacitate our protag, he shows some depth in his character here and there, usually through his uncle Iroh, a wise warrior that's there to aid and comfort his nephew, joining his banished trip on his own accord. While he's on the villain's side, it's worth noting he never hurts or intimidates innocent people, only ever fighting those already attacking or threatening him.

Even so, Zuko made it blatantly clear what his intents were. "I must capture the avatar to regain my honor." And he barely changed his mind about this throughout the entire first season, even when the two helped each-other out of hopeless circumstances, hinting that they're not meant to be sworn enemies.

"If we knew each-other back then, do you think we could've been friends too?"

Knowing the show and how it transpires across all 3 seasons, it's interesting seeing the intent the writers and showrunners had for these characters, and their hidden depth, all the way back in this first season. One of the finest examples would be Iroh sharing Zuko's history with fellow soldiers. A history which helps said soldiers --and in turn, the audience-- empathize with him.

Behind Zuko's scarred face is a story about a boy already feeling lost and unsure of himself, stumbling into a tragedy where his father --in sheer arrogance-- abused his son to a high degree in front of all his subordinates, in a heinous act he would call punishment.

Ever since then, he was banished to travel across the world to search for the avatar, a task his father felt was worthless, but was the same as leaving him out to die. This isn't the origin of a villain, but a downtrodden individual who couldn't find his place in life.

What Zuko called "honor" over and over again wasn't that, but his father's love. He already lost his mother, and instead yearned for his father's approval and affection. This culminated to his ultimate betrayal, siding with his sister and turning his back on his uncle, which lead to his imprisonment. During a crossroad and moment of insecurity, he threw his uncle Iroh to the wolves because he thought he would regain his honor and earn his right to be a part of his family once again.

Zuko would be welcomed back into his family, he retrieved what he thought was his honor --and what he thought was genuine love from his father.

"You have redeemed yourself, my son."

But even then, he still felt lost, alone, and without a sense of direction. Nothing changed, his soul still felt incomplete.

"For so long, I thought that if my dad accepted me, I'd be happy. My dad talks to me, he even thinks I'm a hero! Everything should be perfect, right? I should be happy now, but I'm not! I'm angrier than ever, and I don't know why!"

It took him a long time (about 2 and a half seasons) to realize he didn't need this sense of "honor" and what he was chasing was just a farce. His father only showed Zuko "love" when he seemed useful, an asset that was helping his fascist conquering of multiple nations by killing the Avatar.

All of this drew to an enthralling, terrifying, heart-wrenching moment between him and his father during the day of the eclipse. He used the minutes they could not fire bend as an opportunity to let out the truth and his own epiphany. He admitted that he never killed Aang --didn't even try, for that matter-- and that he's going to help him defeat his father's regime. Ozai immediately despised Zuko for this, proving his 'love' was conditional and hollow. And at that moment, as soon as the eclipse ceased, he attempted to kill his own son right then and there in a moment that never fails to draw tears out of me as soon as it happens.

Zuko survived his father's lethal attack, only by sheer will, and a lighting-redirection technique his uncle happened to teach him a while back, emphasizing how important Iroh is to him. Iroh is the father figure that truly loved Zuko unconditionally. Ozai, his biological father, could only grant him death. His uncle Iroh, at that moment, inadvertently granted him life.

And Zuko's story (mostly) ends in the middle of the 4-part finale. With the help of his friends, he tracked down Iroh who escaped from prison. The moment he sees his uncle, he breaks down as he's horribly ashamed of his actions, expecting Iroh to shun him as he feels he does not deserve his uncle's love after what he did to him.

"I was never angry with you . . . I was sad, because I was afraid you lost your way."

But Iroh doesn't hesitate to embrace him. Like I said, his love is unconditional. He knew Zuko wasn't evil, he was only being manipulated by the likes of his father and sister. He knew Zuko would find the right path, restore his own honor, and come back to him. It's such a beautiful moment and the soul-piercing conclusion to Zuko's story, a story they were building up since the literal first episode.

Of course, there's also Azula, his sister. She was considered a prodigy with her amazing fire bending abilities, mastering the skill of bending lightning, something only her father and uncle were able to do before her.

She was a spitting image of her father; fierce, manipulative, wrathful, the only thing she shared with her brother Zuko was their sense of determination. But we don't learn what really drives Azula until the finale. It's similar to Zuko. He felt incomplete without his father's love. While this was implied before the finale, Azula felt she was missing her mother's love.

While I think the argument could be made that this was just her own projection, it's important that this shows how --despite her more respected place in their family and nation-- she was just as broken and spiritually lost as Zuko. While Ozai showered his daughter with praise for all of her life, Azula felt her mother didn't love her, which ate away at her, deep inside. Much like Zuko, who felt he was fighting to earn his father's love.

Azula, to me, represents Zuko's future if he let his father manipulate him, just like Azula did to him. Would he have become this tyrannical fire lord if he just listened to his father, abandoned his inhibitions, and ensured his nation's regime? Maybe. But like Azula's interrupted crowning, it would have been shallow, lonely, and without any real sense of self-worth. Nothing to show for it but a broken mind.

Instead, Zuko became the fire lord on his own terms, and with the entire world in support of him, as he helped this quest for peace and balance across the nations. He earned his place in life through his own will, his own actions, and his amazing uncle who only wanted the best for him. He restored his honor himself, with lifelong friends by his side.

That's it, that's all I wanted to write about. This show rules.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #zuko #prince zuko #azula #uncle iroh #fire lord zuko

[redwiccanrobin]

(TW: abuse, sexual assault)

There’s a great tragedy and sadness to this scene. Not just because Ian and Mickey are having an emotional confrontation. Not just because they’ve barley healed from the physical scars that caused by Terry. Not just because they believe they’re being torn apart and won’t be able to come together again. Yes, all of those moments are heartbreaking, but there’s more to this scene than that.

It’s this.

It’s Mickey looking at the boy he loves with fear in his eyes. It’s him going into fight or flight mode all because said boy is trying to reach out and touch him. Not to hurt him. Probably just out of desperation and trying to prove to himself that they’re connection is still there. But it doesn’t matter what his intentions are. Mickey is scared beyond comprehension at this very moment. He’s still thinking of Ian watching him, crying over him, bleeding all over himself. He can’t get that image out of his head anymore than he can get the feeling of Svetlana on top of him out of his head. It’s there. It’s screaming at him. It’s beating down on him just like his father does.

There’s something trauma does to you. It settles in, whispers in your ear, tells you all the ways that you’ve failed. Tells you that you deserved that touch, those words, that body atop yours. And sometimes it just gets so loud that you can’t help but think it has to be true. Of course I deserved it.

But Mickey didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve that. No one deserves to live with trauma of any kind. Trauma never goes away and it’s silly to believe it will. But maybe it’ll be easier to live with. Maybe the point in life is to find people who will hold your hand through it all. They can’t cure you, obviously, but people help. And I think Ian helps Mickey which is ultimately why he can’t stay away. Which is one of the reasons their love story is so beautiful.

#shameless #shameless us #shameless meta #gallavich #gallavich meta #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher

[wellgoslowly]

HAPPY LOCKWOOD AND CO DAY EVERYONE

I may or may not be rewatching as I type this hehe. ANYWHOM I asked if I should do another locklyle analysis for the adaptation's first birthday and yall said yes!! so here we go: locklyle as sun and moon (idea courtesy of @queer-and-nerdy ).

ok ok so it would be pretty easy to say that lockwood is the sun and lucy is the moon upon first seeing the characters. I mean, lucy is relatively closed off and can be i guess kind of brooding at times, whereas lockwood is very charming and loves attention. but upon further examination, its clear that its actually the other way around: lockwood is the moon, and lucy is his sun.

yin and yang is a clear example of sun and moon being complete opposites but existing in perfect balance and harmony with each other. in the symbolism of yin and yang, the moon symbolizes adversities and obstacles. lockwood fits perfectly into that role. i mean, his sister died when he was young and his parents died when he was even younger. At face value in this comparison, you could say that he fits into the role of the moon because of everything that he's gone through in his life- all of his adversity and the various obstacles he's had to face. but when you're insane and autistic like i am, you realize that his connection to the role of the moon goes deeper. not only has he experienced tragedy, but he sees himself as a tragedy. he believes that he causes the death and/or pain of everyone he's ever loved. i mean, that's the canonical reason why he pushes everyone away and why he's so reckless- he believes that if he distances himself, then the people he loves are less likely to get hurt. He believes that if he risks his life, it will be ok because his loved ones will be safe and won't have to deal with this curse he's convinced himself that he has.

In contrast, the sun (lucy) symbolizes hope, "for even though a moon eclipse may block the sun's light, there is always a portion of the sun that shines through." as much of a cynic that lucy appears to be (and is), she ultimately still always has hope. when she was working with norrie in her hometown, she had hope that they'd be able to make it out of their town and make it big time in london. when norrie got ghost-locked and her team died, she was still able to harness enough hope to run away and try to make it on herself, even without her fourth grade. and even when she left at the end of the hollow boy, she had the hope and the conviction that allowed her to believe that she was doing the right thing and saving lockwood. cynical as she may be, lucy is filled to the brim with hope.

now, locklyle as the sun and moon begin to make so much more sense in this way. lucy's sun works to keep lockwood's moon grounded and frankly alive. she is the one who is determined to make him understand that he is still worthy of love despite everything that has happened to him. no matter how badly his depression is affecting him, she is still there to keep him grounded and force him to understand that whether he likes it or not, he has people who care about him.

lockwood's moon takes on the role of being determined to support her no matter what, just as the moon does for the sun. when lucy gets overwhelmed during a case or just during everyday life, lockwood is always there to balance her and to offer her support in any way she needs. he understands her without even needing to ask and always strives to be the best person he can be in supporting her, whether that means making her tea and making her toast during the morning or offering to leave a hired job because she's uncomfortable that night. he would do anything for her, just as the moon supports and balances the sun.

i think that this is really interesting for multiple reasons but ill give you two:

i love how they expand from your expectations. for a while i thought that lucy was the moon and lockwood was the sun, but they both stray from that expectation so much because of the added complexities that come from their backstories and their relationships with others, especially one another.

the sun is usually defined as a "masculine" energy, and the moon is defined as a "feminine" energy. I think its really interesting how they once again stray from the usual in this context.

ANYWHOM HAPPY ONE YEAR OF LOCKWOOD AND CO!!!! I'm gonna make a long sappy post before bed but i hope you guys like this little first birthday gift!!

@oblivious-idiot @ikeasupremacy @losticaruss @yveni @neewtmas @waitingforthesunrise @youmanynotrestnow @saltwaterburns @ravenous-rage @maraschinomerry @psychicbluebirdmiracle @uku-lelevillain @acecharmander @rainysaturdayafternoon @ettadear @thisgameissonintendo @impossibleclair @givemea-dam-break @krash-and-co @kazbrekkerfast wanted to tag some people that i thought might enjoy this hehe

#lockwood and co #renew lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george karim #locklyle #george cubbins #save lockwood and co #lockwood netflix #locklyle brainrot is real #one year of lockwood and co #jonathan stroud #lockwood and lucy #quill kipps #lockwood and co netflix #locklyle analysis #LINNIE ANALYSIS IS BACK #sun and moon symbolism

[lurkingshan]

Once again I'm here because I'm angry. There's been a lot of talk about Boston and what Jojo wanted or not to say about sluts and whatever. I, and other people I think, were struggling with the idea that Jojo would actually want that message out. So I went to see some interviews. And got kinda shocked about one thing that he said. (btw this is an actual quote.) He was talking about Boston reasons for his behaviour Jojo: Bad people don't need to have a backstory. They are just born sluts. A bad character doesn't need... (and then the interviewer says - he doesn't need tragedy to be bad) Exactly. And then he gets asked if he thinks Boston needs redemption and he emphatically says NO. And then talking about how much fun is writing the character he says this: Boston is such a fun character to write. yeah unpredictable he's like, he doesn't care. he doesn't have morals so we just like goes with the flow. bad people? no morals? humm... i don't know... So yeah, now I don't really know what to think about it. I was wondering what are your thoughts about this. I'm still gonna watch some more of this, because I'm a masochist that needs all the information, but yeah, I thought I would share. Thanks for the space

Yiiiiiikes. Okay, first let me preface this by saying that whenever I am reading/watching something that was either translated to English or spoken in English by a person with a different first language, I try not to get too hung up on specific word choice. By necessity we tend to go for the simplest possible words to convey meaning in those situations, and thus a lot of nuance gets stripped out.

That said, the sentiment is clear: Jojo saw Boston as a villain character without a moral code that he could deploy to cause chaos wherever he liked in the story. And he is definitely conflating his villainy with sexual promiscuity, which is the worst part of this quote and unfortunately aligns with the way that finale, and ultimately the themes of the show, were written. It definitely makes me side eye Jojo and as I’ve already said, I won’t be so inclined to trust him nearly as much next time.

Only Friends, however, has more than one writer, and I don’t think they all see it this way. If you think Boston is purely an irredeemable slut, you don’t write his breakup and reunion with Nick in the way that this show did. You don’t give depth to his situation with Atom. You don’t show his sincere emotion, his hurt, and his earnest desire to be with Nick while he can. With all the info we have now and in retrospect, it kind of feels like there was a bit of a tug-o-war going on with Boston’s story.

My understanding is that Den Panuwat, one of three writers on the show, is the one who adapted the novel version of the story, and there he changed Boston’s final arc significantly. Rather than Boston fucking Atom, he made his final conflict about his dad’s political career with Boston’s sexuality being used as a weapon against him. He wrote Boston and Nick ending on good terms. And he wrote a final chapter for Boston where he arrives in New York, finds a more accepting society and queer community who accept and understand him, and thrives.

I’m sure there were some non-artistic reasons why we couldn’t get this version of the story in the show (the politics story was likely vetoed for censorship reasons and they probably couldn’t afford to show us Boston in NY, for example), but the fact that Den wrote it signals that his perspective on Boston is not fully aligned with what Jojo said in that quote above. Perhaps we have him to thank for the empathetic portrayal and humanity we did see in Boston despite Jojo’s perspective on him. And Den has another show coming soon, so maybe we’ll see a clearer read of his own perspective on queer sexual politics without the GMMTV restrictions when we watch Playboyy.

#only friends the series #playboyy the series #thai bl #shan answers

[antianakin]

It doesn't happen as much, but some people said that Taron Malicos (that crazy ex-Jedi from Fallen Order) was right about the Jedi's decline, forgetting that Malicos is mentally-deranged and fallen to the Dark Side. Not exactly the most reliable authority on Jedi history and culture, if you ask me.

Yeah, the Cal Kestis games sit in that sort-of "soft anti-Jedi"/"Jedi critical" space where they have moments that are absolutely telling the audience that the Jedi were weak, or at fault for what happened or old-fashioned/behind the times, but that they were still GOOD PEOPLE and Cal is absolutely still identifying as a Jedi whole-heartedly and doing Jedi stuff etc etc. The entire storyline of Fallen Order is that Cal and Cere are trying to find the list of Force sensitive kids so they can try to rebuild the Jedi Order and it's sad when they have to make the choice to let that dream go in order to protect the kids from the Empire. Cal getting Knighted by Cere is a happy, triumphant moment. The whole flashback to Order 66 being included and being SO SO SAD is a major element of the game. Cal and Merrin literally bond over being survivors of the devastating tragedy that is the total loss of their people. (It comes up even less in Survivor, the one place it shows up is within his romance with Merrin.)

So the message getting sent is that sure, MAYBE the Jedi weren't always perfect, but it also DOESN'T MATTER because nothing they did warranted what happened to them and it's still a good thing to be a Jedi. So Taron Malicos might be "right" in the sense that the narrative doesn't really specify one way or another (but sort-of implies that he might be), but being "right" doesn't justify being a selfish asshole and hurting other people. So it stops mattering at all if he's "right" or not anyway.

Rebels does similar stuff, quite honestly. This idea that the Jedi might've made mistakes in places, but that ultimately their loss is still SAD and Kanan is fucked up by it and both he and Ezra learn to be better people as they learn to commit to being true Jedi. It's a GOOD thing for both of them to become Jedi.

They both sit in this middle ground of saying that being a Jedi is a good thing and the loss of the Jedi is still a tragedy, but the current Jedi are going to learn from the mistakes of their predecessors who fucked up enough that it might've led them to their own doom. It's kinda sad that some of the better Jedi centric content we've gotten recently comes with this need to criticize the Jedi for shit they didn't even do, but it's VERY common. Even High Republic has elements of this in it from the few of the novels I've read.

But I will say that, as much as it's annoying to me personally to have to deal with that, it's better than something like, say, I don't know, the Ahsoka show which has the darksider characters NOT come across as evil selfish assholes and none of the main "Jedi" characters ever seem to actually identify (or even WANT to identify) as Jedi and implies that being a Jedi might be a lesser or inferior way to identify just in general and that there's nothing truly sad about the loss of the Jedi themselves. At least there's a lot of other generally positive Jedi stuff in Rebels and the Cal Kestis games to enjoy. Ahsoka didn't give a single Jedi positive moment in the entire fucking show.

#star wars #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #cal kestis #jfo #taron malicos #rebels #star wars rebels #jedi #pro jedi #anti ahsoka show

[poorlittleyaoyao]

i still think the worst jgy meta is the victim blaming madam qin one

If we're thinking of the same meta--the one that goes into detail about how long the betrothal/wedding planning process would have likely gone on for--then that meta is SUPREMELY frustrating to me, because the information it brings up is worth considering, but then it draws the conclusion that "Madam Qin is the real cause of the problem here!" which is both victim-blaming and oversimplifies the whole tragedy.

The tragedy of Qin Su is that multiple people close to her decided that she shouldn't know a critical piece of information about herself. If it were just JGY, I think her reaction wouldn't have been as intense as it is, but when QS receives Bicao's letter, she receives with it the knowledge that Bicao, JGY, and her mother have all withheld this from her, and she'll never get closure on it because her mother is dead and JGY is insisting that she carry on like it never happened. QS deserved to know! This was a breach of her trust!

But at the same time, you understand why everyone makes the choices they do, and why they believe that QS will be better off not knowing. In Madam Qin's case, we can assume that she fears for the damage to QS's reputation and prospects in even a best-case scenario if she comes forward. It's fully possible that Qin Cangye could disown QS since she is not his child, or (if QCY is a real one and stands by his wife) that the Qin clan as a whole would suffer retribution from JGS for besmirching his name, since he's Chief Cultivator and they don't have any concrete proof. Madam Qin also would have feared for herself. I mean, we don't know what kind of many QCY was. He could've killed his wife for committing adultery, for all we know! Or JGS could've had her killed to shut her up! Fearing for herself isn't a moral failing!

Understanding how protracted the wedding process would have been just drives home how horrifically trapped Madam Qin must have felt. She's kept the secret of her rape for two decades, and now it's coming back to hurt her in brand new ways, and she feels so powerless that she can't do anything but watch it happen until finally, at the very last minute, she works up the courage to talk to the one man in the situation who doesn't hold authority over her (and is therefore a safer bet)... and it's too late, because her daughter is already pregnant,* and to call off the wedding now would obliterate her reputation even without the incest.

Now she has to live with the regret of not acting differently on top of everything else. It's haunting. It's awful. It's not something to point at and judge her about. And I think it's telling that, IIRC, JGY himself doesn't ever blame her, either. There is no "how dare you blame me when her own mother didn't tell her!" or "I wouldn't have done it if Madam Qin had spoken up sooner!" Instead, he simply states that Madam Qin, like him, was afraid of JGS, shutting down any questioning of either of them. JGY places the ultimate blame for all of this firmly at his father's feet, and that's where it belongs.

*(It should go without saying that I'm talking about my understanding of the novel here, because the show makes the deeply cursed choice to cut the whole premarital pregnancy thing. But it's still JGS's fault there too, and I wrote character study fic about it once if you want to have a bad time.)

[ravenpureforever]

random question time! which wwx's relationship do you like the most and why? It could be platonic or romantic, all canons allowed

Thank you for the ask! Oh boy this question is hard, because I like I appreciate so many of his relationships for different reasons that picking just one feels kinda cruel 

I think the biggest tie for me is between JC and LWJ for WWX. 

Wangxian is the rare ship where I genuinely can only see them romantically with each other, like I’m multishipper, I’ll ship literally anything if you have an interesting concept, pretty words or beautiful art, like grab my attention I am yours, except these two, they live in my head rent free and they can only be together because like maybe you lost everything, maybe you can never go back to that blissful youth you once had, but that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new life for yourself and find happiness and all the grief and tragedy does not define you but you still want to help people and you will help people and maybe it isn’t the life you thought you wanted when you were fifteen but it is a wonderful one and you love and you are loved and you are happy and that is enough. Maybe you suffered, maybe you were cruel, maybe the world misread who you are and assigned you a role you did not ask for, but maybe that doesn’t matter because you know who you are, you are still kind, and you have someone who knows and understands you and trusts who you are. You are both also kind of insufferable in your love and get to be annoying too. 

But JC & WWX are my ultimate tragic doomed platonic relationship, my neurotic little freaks who can’t be normal about each other and have zero boundaries, bickering idiots, wanting to go back to your youth except you’ll never be 15 again and you the person who knew the most intimate parts of yourself is now a stranger except you still see the glimmers of the person they used to be, the most brutal variation of you’ll never recover from that kind of devotion, the ultimate capturing  lost youth and having to go down different paths and really depicting what growing up is like sometimes, the viciousness where I am able to hurt you unlike anyone else (regardless if I want to or not), the abusive household codependency of survival, literally carrying a piece of your soul in my chest and making the ultimate sacrifice you never asked for because I couldn’t bare to risk losing you, the hollowness is a symbol of my devotion and the fullness is an omen of our splintering, there is one brain cell being shared like a game of tennis, my pathetic meow meow and beloved blorbo, I genuinely can’t be normal about them. 

I think if I really have to pick between them though, I’ll have to say JC & WWX just by virtue of I don’t like Wangxian fics that mischaracterize or villainize JC, like if he’s featured and isn’t a well-written character (Shanastorytellers' and loosingletters’ fics my absolute beloveds), it really takes me out of the narrative. His depiction and relationship with WWX has a lot of impact on my Wangxian enjoyment, and even in canon my beloved Wangxian gets to develop because of all the Ls this poor guy takes, so congrats JC, you win here! It’s by a literal hair, but JC & WWX platonic relationship, get these boys a reconciliation so they can drink in Lotus Pier and gossip about their kids and people they think are stupid, WWX it will enrich your marriage so much I promise. It’s what *I* deserve.

#mdzs #the untamed #rom-com asks #wangxian #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #lan wangji #cql

[terrence-silver]

Can you please do a scenario where Terrys beloved dies during childbirth and how he copes with his grief. Would he accept and love the baby or reject and blame the baby.

---

Like five hundred other people are to blame.

Surgeons. Doctors. Nurses. Midwives. The medical staff at the emergency room. The poor, unlucky chauffeur who drove the beloved to their usual appointments, for all we know. The measures they took. The measures they didn't take. The amount of dedication they clearly didn't show, in his opinion. It is the ultimate betrayal that'll get so many people hurt. When Terry Silver pays a sum for a service, he expects the service delivered to perfection and according to his instructions; that's how that social contract works because nothing's for free, and if you throw a whole fortune at something, you expect nothing but your vision delivered to you down to the smallest details. The fact that he was failed so catastrophically it resulted in the death of the person he covets and loves the most? Someone stripped away beyond his control to stop it!? When he trusted vetted professionals, the best of the best in their field, to do the job right!? I swear to god, heads will fly. He daydreams about what could've happened if he just kicked down the doors of the delivery room and carried beloved out of there before it was too fucking late. The revenge will be horrifying, though. People will lose jobs. Their licenses to practice medicine. They'll be blacklisted. Sued. They'll find their cars blown up. Their places of residence broken into. Burned down. The hospital they worked in foreclosed, bought out, bulldozed overnight and turned into an empty privately owned lot until not even a single brick remains of the place that killed beloved. For the love of all that's holy, some of the participants involved in the tragedy might even find their own loved ones done in by mysterious circumstances because blood can be only repaid by blood. A life for a life. And since Terry might just think the life of someone he loves is worth infinitely more than just one life, the retaliation can be truly awful and result in some many injured parties and so much damage it is pretty hard to describe just how far he'd go.

Pretty far, I'd reckon.

Murder, carnage and torture type of far.

When the dragon's been woken, it's impossible to get him to slumber again.

But, however far it does go, I doubt he'd ever blame his child; if anything, his possessiveness of them is only kickstarted into some very excessive territories day one seeing as how they're the last thing he has left off from beloved and the one thing that'll outlive him and carry him on, into the future, and so, all the more reason for him to be devoted to his offspring with all the lovesickness a human heart can produce, blaming, perhaps, himself, all the more, behind the narcissistic facade that he is infallible and all powerful. Terry actually feels he's entirely to blame, triggered into a bygone time where his clumsiness resulted in a friend's death, and here he is, decades later, at the very exact same place. He lost control then and he lost control now. Almost like he's back at the very same spot he was in Vietnam and he's still that scared, shivering boy in the cage and he's angry. Desperate. Vulnerable. And oh so feral. And everyone best beware. This is an issue that The Valley might just end up burning down over, engulfing everything far and wide. Man would step on the whole world because he'd feel the world deserves it now more than ever.

This is an extremely deadly mindset to put Terry Silver into.

No telling how violently all of it could culminate in his mourning.

#terry silver #kk3 #cobra kai #tw; death #tw; death at childbirth #terry as father #terry silver as a parent #terry silver as a father #dad!terry #terry silver x reader #terry silver x beloved #angst #ptsd

[normal-internet-user]

TRUTHS AND LIES: 3

♤~~◇~~♤~~◇~~♤

Pt: 1 Pt: 2

Summary: After Karai finally comes to terms with the truth, you go along with her to get your revenge on the Shredder.

Warnings: Badly written fight scenes, broken bones, angst

Requested: Nah

Female Reader!

Notes at the end.

....................................

Joy was the only way to explain the way you were feeling. You had Karai back in your life, you had your sister omce again.

The time you were seperated you felt as though you'd been split in two, you had never been apart for so long. You were twins, best friends, two halves of a whole.

So when she renounced you, when she left you behind, you couldn't help but hurt. You felt guilt and shame for leaving, though you knew it was just your habit of taking all the blame.

The two of you had yet to talk about that day. You knew you needed too, it was necessary to mend the strained bond you shared, but you couldn't help but grow anxious whenever you tried.

So the two of you just left it alone, hoping that strained feeling would dissapear. You sighed as you continued to watch your little brothers spar with each other. Splinter insisted that you observe alongside your sister, despite having particapated in their training before, wanting to unlearn the style taught to you in your youth.

A small giggle escaped from your mouth as the boys abandoned their weapons in favor of wrestling on the ground. You looked over at Karai and saw her face also graced with amusment.

"Is this how training always goes?" Karai asks, snickering silently.

"Yame!" Your father shouted, and irrated sigh following.

You couldn't help your own silent giggling, as you had never seen training happen this way before. The water balloons were definitly new.

"My sons and daughters, that is enough for today."

The boys all stand to leave, you were going to go with them, but Karai remained, so you did as well. Leonardo turned to the two of you, "You guys coming?" he asked.

"In a minute." Karai replied, moving to stand by the alter that held the picture of the two of you in your mothers arms.

Splinter moved to stand beside her, glancing down at Karai, "Not what you expected?"

Karai sighed, "I'll admit, it's weird being with the people I was told were my enemies."

You nodded, "Hai. I honestly thought Leonardo was tricking me when he told me the truth."

Karai looked up at Splinter curiously, "What really happened between you, Shredder and our mother?"

With a grim sigh, Splinter tells the tale of his brotherhood turned rivalry. How both he and Oroku Saki fell in love with the same women, and how years of Saki's built up jealousy ultimately led to tragedy.

You were horrified. This is not the tale you were told as a child. Though you figured long ago that it was a lie. But a lie to this extent? It was all Shredder's fault.

He ruined your family, took away your mother then blamed your father, and you believed him. You never desired revenge on Yoshi the way Karai always had, no, but your resentment towards him was always there.

To know that you had been angry at the wrong man your whole life, and the true horror was standing next to you the entire time was shattering. It filled you with guilt.

Karai was angry. You could tell, and she wasn't hiding it. She never did. You knew what she wanted, and it was revenge.

"After all this time," she said, her rage evident, "Haven't you wanted revenge?"

Splinter shook his head, "After all this time I learned that revenge only leads to more pain."

That was true, you supposed. Revenge could go on infinintly in a cycle of tragedy, you supposed letting go of things was necessary sometimes. But maybe not this time.

Karai seemed appalled at Splinter's stance on the matter, arguing with him until Splinter gently eased her. So he thinks anyway.

You and Karai share a glance. It's quick and fleeting, most would miss it, and those who didn't wouldn't chalk it up to anything. But the message was clear.

Tonight was the night that Shredder would pay for his lies at the hands of the two he'd wronged.

Tonight, Oroku Saki would suffer.

That night, you and Karai lay in your shared room, pretending to be asleep. Leo comes to check on the two of you, asking if your awake and recieving no reply.

He leaves, and you lock eyes with Karai. With a nod, the two of you silently creep out of your room and towards the exit.

"Going after Shredder by yourselves is a bad idea."

You turn to see Leonardo, and you silently groan. Karai scowls, "Don't try to stop us, Leo."

Leo shakes his head, "I want to go with you." he says, and Karai looks surprised, glancing over at you before turning back to Leo

"What?" she asks, you remain silent, standing behind her.

"You're right, Shredder will never stop hunting us. The only way for us to be safe is to take him down."

You and Karai look at eachother, having a silent conversation. You nod slightly at Karai, and Leo perks up, think you're agreeing to let him come along.

Karai sighs, "My whole life has been about revenge." she looks back at you as you look at the ground, "We can't ask you to risk your life too."

"Let me help."

Karai approaches Leo, and you watch the interaction slightly ammused as you say, "Sorry, Ao."

Karai punches Leo in the face, and you quickly use a pellet to knock him unconcious.

You check to make sure Leo is unconcious. and Karai nods, "This ends tonight." she states, and the two of you silently leave the Lair.

You and Karai stealthily make your way into the Shredders throne room, something you always hated about this place. It was pretencious, and made him seem a more important man than he was.

Karai motions to the throne, and you spot the outline of your father sitting there. With a shared nod, the two of you creep up to either side of the throne, ready to end this once and for all.

But as you get closer, you're shocked to realize that Shredder isn't there... it's Chrome Dome.

So then where..?

"Karai. (Name)."

You turn to find the Shredder standing over the two of you, and despite your best efforts, despite Karai's clear confidence, you can't help that small trickle of helplessness that fills you.

"You returned sooner than I expected." He says, addressing Karai before turning to you with a scowl, "You however. I have not seen you in quite some time, Uragiri, not for months."

Uragiri. A name that meant betrayal. A stark contrast to your current name, or the name used by your father. You could feel the venom and malice in Shredder's tone, you never had been his favorite. That title went to Karai.

Chrome Dome forcefully grabbed Karai, and you moved to help, only for Shredder to throw you to the side. You slammed into the wall with a yelp, a sharp pain shooting through your ribs.

You watched as Karai freed herself from Chrome Dome's hold, stabbing the robot to incapacitate it. Karai stood fierce before the Shredder, and you joined her side, drawing your own tantō blade.

You did your best to ignore the flare of pain in your torso, watching with slight enjoyment as Shredder realized that unlike Karai, the tantō you used was not the one he'd given you. The blade handle was engraved with the Hamato crest, something you showed off with pride. Shredder's rage was evident in his face.

"The time has come for us to say good-bye, Shredder." Karai said, voiced laced with venom.

You nodded, tilting your head, "I never did get to bid the fairwell."

The two of you charged the Shredder, Karai tossed a smoke pellet in an attempt to distract him, but to your amazment, he didn't react at all.

He blocked both your blades as you swung at him, pushing both of you back and away from him. Karai jumped around Shredder, slicing in an attempt to hit him at least once.

You charged as he turned his back, aiming for the chinks in his armor. However, he turned and brought his fist down on the back of your neck with enough force to knock you to the ground. Your head slammed into the ground, causing your vision to swim as you rolled over onto your back. He stamped his foot down on your torso and you cried out as he applied pressure to your broken ribs.

Angry, Karai stabbed at his face, only for Shredder to catch the blade inbetween his hands. He shoved Karai away with a scowl.

"Foolish children." he scowls, kicking you away in favor of slowly approaching Karai, "I taught you everything you know, you hold no surprises for me. This has gone far enough."

Karai lauched two shuriken in his direction, Shredder blocked them, and Karai continued to attack. Causing Shedder to stumble back where he would see the Hamato crest ingraned on the shuriken.

With a shout of rage, he backhanded Karai as she jumped at him. Karai landed afew feet from you, and you winced as you attempted to stand.

You felt someone's foot push on your back, forcing you back to the ground as Tigerclaw took Karai. Your sister continued to struggle, shouting things you couldn't register as your brain grew foggy, and you fell unconcious...

....................................

Ok, I have some notes to add, #1: I originally intended to kill reader in this chapter, and end the series there, but I figured I'd finsh the episode "Vengeance is mine"

and #2: I have no idea how to write a fight scene ok- 😭

Translations:

Yame = End/finish

Hai = yes

Uragiri = A name that translates to betrayal.

Ao = Blue

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #x reader #normie writes #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2012 karai x reader #shredder/oroku saki #master splinter x child reader #karai's sister reader #tmnt 2012 leo #tmnt 2012 x reader

[petrichorium]

i am not vic but ohhhmhyyogofr your post about gojo and his greatest fear of getting you (us???) pregnant is making rounds in my head. if u would like to share more of your thoughts please know i will be SEATED!!!!

I will not lie the thing I have written is more about his mother and how he projects her onto you wrt his fears abt getting you pregnant so it’s v much a gun Ive cocked and aimed at vic specifically LMFAOOOO

But there’s many angles to his refusal to have kids imo so I’ll ramble abt a few of them. If this is going to hurt ur feelings DO NOT open the read-more it’s not a happy take on motherhood

he does not believe he’d be a good father point-blank. I think his dad was p much nonexistent in his life—in fact I can’t decide if I think he even knows who his dad is/was—and in general he keeps too much of an emotional distance between himself and everyone else for him to be comfortable with the idea of being responsible for raising a whole child. His role as a teacher is not paternal to me, in contrast to chars like Aizawa or Qifrey who are paternal in their roles. JJK is very explicit in its depiction of sorcerers as people who do not have long lifespans, and the majority do not make it past high school. The teaching role in that sense is less a father figure and more someone raising cattle for slaughter. He can’t afford to become too attached to his kids; the vast majority are going to become Haibaras or, if they’re strong enough, Getous. It’s a hard life. He firmly believes he’d treat his own kid the same way. You are the exception, and sometimes he still has to distance himself from you—a kid doesn’t deserve that from its own father.

he is RADICALLY oppositional to everything that has to do with the old conservative way. This includes providing his clan more breeding stock—because frankly, that’s what his children would be. There’s no chance of him passing his powers down (only one person can have Limitless at one time, a power that isn’t even that enormous without the Six Eyes and he’s the first person in 600 yrs to have them both) and he’s also aware that either he or his kids will die first, and if it’s him there’d be nothing to stop his clan from just taking them away to use them to breed another one of him. Idk how any decent person would be comfortable having kids knowing that or assassination would be their fate, but hey I’m kinda an anti-natalist so I’m pretty biased LMFAOOOOOO

BUT FINALLY. THE PART WE RLLY CARE ABOUT (and the most important part to him—again those first two points are why he’s always been terrified of having kids but this one shows up when he realizes he wants you for the rest of his life) if there’s anything worse than being gojo in a situation where he’s had a kid, it’s the poor soul he impregnated. Because like. He’s GOJO he’s untouchable but you, no matter who you are but esp if you’re not a particularly strong sorcerer/a non-sorcerer straight-up, are absolutely touchable. Like the odds of you being outright assassinated (during the pregnancy by other clans or after the pregnancy by his OWN as a power grab) are so high that the chance alone would be enough to make him get snipped. But having his children would erase you. You’re no longer you the moment it happens; suddenly you’re the mother of gojo satoru’s children, and you bear the burden of everything that entails.

You��ll be blamed when his kids are powerless even though everyone knew it would happen. You’ll have them stolen from you the moment you let your guard down. You’ll be ridiculed and shamed and dehumanized until you’re a shell of who your used to be. And it won’t matter that unlike his father he’ll stay by your side, because ultimately he’s the one who did this to you. It won’t matter if you do everything right, their lives will still end in tragedy. It won’t matter if you truly genuinely wholeheartedly always wanted children and always loved them… you’ll end up resenting them. And him. And yourself, for your resentment. And if you’re like his mother………. you won’t be able to take it. Nobody would be able to take it.

He cannot allow it to happen

#ask.🌧 #anon #trying to keep the details abt his mom secret but!!! it’s hard!!! #again I think the fear is tied to his mother and a desperation not to let the same thing happen to u #but I have smthn cool written already that I await vic asking for 🙏🏻 if they manage to see it LMFAOOOOO #no children

[haptronym]

(Im sorry for so many questions) Between Toshinori and Izuku, if one or the other died, who do you think would take it worse? And who do you think would handle the aftermath better? How do you think each of them would react to witnessing it/finding out?

What an interesting question!

There is the obvious answer that, if Toshinori died, Izuku would instantly get a Force Ghost version of him in his head to chat with forever and ever. He wouldn't be truly gone; he might even be able to be more accessible to Izuku than ever before. This would skew my answer a lot. While I think it would be really cool to see a story that explored the subtle pain and grief of "losing" someone in all aspects except for a mental projection, I'd rather just pretend that part doesn't apply here. Maybe OFA got destroyed, or Izuku passed it on to someone else. In that case…

Izuku's waterworks are one of his defining traits. He's gotten far more stoic over the years, but I am sure this would bypass all that progress. He would be inconsolable, losing the person who shaped his life since he was a baby.

At the same time, Izuku has spent the series growing a strong, healthy network of people who support him. He has family and teachers and friends. He'd cry, a lot, but he'd be able to do so on plenty of shoulders. And he has a lot going on in his life! He has a career to start, he has adulthood looming - he has so much to look forward to, and so much of it became possible thanks to Toshinori.

It would hurt each time he hit a milestone, I imagine - to get on the hero charts for the first time, or do his first big fundraiser, and not be able to share that success with the person who gave him the chance to do so. I would never say that a person's death is "good" for someone, but I think it would be something that spurred Izuku on. "I'm blessed to have been able to know him at all," I could see him saying. "He would want me to keep doing my best."

Izuku loves to ruminate. I am sure he'd never be able to fully stop wrestling over how he could have changed fate and been able to stay by Toshinori's side just a little longer. But everyone dies someday. Toshinori lived a long, full life, and left behind an incredible legacy, one that Izuku proudly helps keep alive in his stead.

Toshinori, I think, would look far less devastated by comparison. He is stoic and solution-focused. He would probably be comforting Izuku's friends and family and doing his best to fix things as best he could. That's what he loves, after all: being of service to others.

But Izuku's passing wouldn't feel like a neatly finished chapter in a book. Old people die, but young people aren't supposed to. Losing someone so bright and talented with so much ahead of him… what a senseless, unfair waste it would be.

And what a blow it would be to Toshinori. After everything he's been through, he finally found someone like him, someone with his heroic spirit, someone who changed his life and his whole way of thinking. He already lost his health, his quirk, and most of his life. To lose Izuku too, after all that, would be unimaginably painful and cruel. His brightest light, snuffed out too soon. And we know how much Toshinori beats himself up about not being able to save people.

Toshinori is a resilient person. He's been through tragedy before, and he bounced back. I don't think he'd break down and become a ruined hollow shell of his former self. But when it came to the private, unseen pain, I think Izuku's passing would harm him far more deeply than the inverse.

So it's interesting: I think Izuku would appear far more wrecked in the short term, but would ultimately heal and be able to carry on and live a full and rich life. Toshinori would seem far less affected, but it would be a crippling loss for him.

That was a fun mental exercise, thanks anon.

#do you guys ever think about dying meme #hap yaps #character death #toshinori yagi #izuku midoriya #bnha

[utilitycaster]

Orym for the trauma ask. Besides the fandom's treatment of The Nod, one discrepancy that really stuck out to me was that in the middle of all the 'Orym is consumed by vengeance and that's terrible BS' was going on, we saw Keyleth explicitly vow revenge against the Ruby Vanguard ("The last thing that I saw, before the light took us, was someone important to me. Someone I lost long ago. And I will do everything in my power to destroy them who did this.") and I didn't see anyone giving her shit over it, even though her anger is directed at the same people and comes from a nigh-identical place. Was it because Vax, unlike Will, is someone the audience knows and his orbification happened onscreen, and that forced people to recognize how awful it would be to expect her to calm down and Be Reasonable™ about the whole thing?

throwing in the anon who asked me about Orym in general.

I think the core problem is again that this fandom has a truly awful track record re: people who lose romantic partners young and more generally about people who are grieving. That is the more useful Keyleth comparison; it's gotten better but the post-campaign meta for C1 (that I saw about a year after C1 had ended, after I had binged it) truly just treated Vex and Keyleth as boxes of grief and grief alone instead of people with lives marked by but not ended by tragedy. Once Yasha said she had lost her wife people started treating her notably differently; again, we had the people claiming Orym would be happier had he stayed dead despite Liam explicitly saying death felt like a failure; and this is ultimately the core of lifespan angst and why I find lifespan angst mostly tiresome. Like, Essek will outlive Caleb by centuries! Keyleth was, even had Vax lived a full and long life, going to outlive him by over a thousand years! Unless you die very young you will outlive someone you love. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but like, this fandom (and probably others) truly seems to treat grief as a life-ending thing for the grieving rather than just the dead. So that's the big problem re: fandom response.

The other is that Orym gets thrown under the bus for Laudna a lot, for some reason. That's where the "Orym would be happier if he were dead with Will" came from and that's where the dumb discourse about the nod came from. It's just people who cannot abide by the idea that bad things can happen to Laudna and that she can do bad things deciding to pin it on Orym. I also think that Liam explicitly said on 4-Sided Dive that Orym could not be objective about this, and because they are very stupid and cannot understand things that are not explicitly spelled out, they could not put together that, for example, Imogen, whose mother is deeply tied up in the Ruby Vanguard, cannot be objective either. Ashton just nearly exploded due to a critical lack of objectivity about the situation.

Sort of as a companion to talking about Caleb but I think Liam makes his characters' trauma and how they feel about it fairly explicit and plainly stated, more so than most in the cast, and this is an entirely valid choice but I think it means that, for better or for worse, people who lack the skill to interpret characters whose feelings and motivations are not quite as clearly laid out will gravitate to them to make their arguments, either for or against them.

#answered #rhowena #cr tag #orym

[shikai-the-storyteller]

UEUEUEUEUEUEU ILL SEND YOU THIS WHILE WAITING TO SEE BOBBYS STATUS.

Dw idm u answering publicly, I want everyone to be cursed w the thought that Rubius is a babygirl and a very bad one at that <3

Honestly I've only read a few explanations of their lore and bits about their relationship but they seem sooooo,,, /pos. Like they have such a fun and silly dynamic that has this air of toxicity and their loves feels quite self destructive bc rubius is kind of a destructive force of nature of a person who has a tendency to hurt those around him, perhaps as a defense mechanism or perhaps out of simply not understanding there are consequences to the things he does while vegetta is someone far too forgiving, he continues to love rubius despite how much he hurts himself, others, and vegetta himself. I'm not saying cubito rubius is an awful person but from what I've seen he is,,, complex. Difficult despite seeming silly. I could be just completely wrong tho LOL I am doin my best I prommy

ANYWAYS IM CHEERING U ON IN WRITING!!! I'd love to talk to u abt them more and learn more abt rubegetta bc like. Look. Theres no way q!vegetta isnt hung up on that demon idc,,,

I'm likewise waiting for the Eggstatistics (which will probably get posted while I'm in the middle of writing this) (EDIT: IT DID) and you gave me the opportunity to infodump so prepare for an essay LMAO

There are SO many layers to Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship (both romantic and friendship-wise), and that complexity makes them fascinating characters to study. I’ve been discussing this a lot in private lately, but I feel like there’s quite a bit of misinformation / misinterpretations of Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship amongst some of the newer fans who might not know some key components of their personality and their relationship dynamic as a whole (which is understandable since the majority of their lore came from Karmaland, and a lot of newer fans only speak English / only watch QSMP), so ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE:

I think of the two, Rubius definitely gets mischaracterized the most (which, again, maybe isn't too surprising since not everyone watched Karmaland and he hasn't been on the QSMP server too much lately). I could go off on a tangent here and list my frustrations about the people who harassed him for his role / his actions during the Egg event / whining about ships to the point where he decided not to log into the server again ‘til the Egg event is over, but that's ultimately irrelevant to this discussion.

“Their love feels quite self-destructive” is a really good way to sum things up, because Rubius is a pretty self-destructive man. Rubius is, fundamentally, a man who is full of love for the people he cares about, but those feelings are in direct conflict with his reluctance to let people get close to him (and his commitment issues). He can freely give hugs and kisses (and more) to Vegetta, but when it comes to expressing his true thoughts and feelings, he’s pretty emotionally constipated. We’ve already seen this a few times on the QSMP server – when Rubius visits on Vegetta’s birthday, he sings him the most beautiful heartfelt love song ever, but as soon as it’s over and Vegetta tries to talk to him, Rubius runs away. Even in Karmaland V, when hooked up to a lie detector and asked about his feelings for Vegetta, Rubius tried to wiggle his way out of answering. Only when the world was literally ending and they all thought they were gonna die did Rubius finally admit his feelings, shouting his confession and his love for Vegetta at the top of his lungs.

(The real tragedy here is that it was so chaotic with everyone shouting, Vegetta never heard his words…)

Although it’s easy to slap the label “toxic” on Rubius, I think that’s unfair to him and his character, as well as his intentions. He truly does love Vegetta with all his heart, in every universe, and he doesn’t want to hurt him, but Rubius doesn’t want to get hurt either. The Meteor shower conversation gives us a clear understanding of that:

Rubius: I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to get my hopes up, and then get hurt. It's happened to me many times before. Especially here in Karmaland. Vegetta: Have you had lovesickness? Rubius: Yes. In Karmaland, everywhere, in real life... I'm already used to getting beaten. Vegetta: That's a pity... Rubius: I just want someone to take care of me, and that's it. I don't ask for much. Vegetta: I'm very protective.

The way I see it, Rubius is afraid of his feelings for Vegetta, because the larger his love grows, the larger that potential for hurt and disappointment gets. Does this excuse all his actions? No, of course not, however there’s a big difference between doing something out of self-preservation (possibly as a trauma-response, depending on how you interpret his character) and doing something with the intent to hurt someone.

IMO, Rubius isn’t a toxic guy, he just needs therapy.

Vegetta doesn’t get mischaracterized quite as often, though I do feel like people have a tendency to put him on a pedestal and minimize the flaws he has. I’m a massive Vegetta fan, but this guy’s far from perfect. He’s self-centered, borderline narcissistic sometimes, and he’s a very prideful man. He’s never left Rubius at the altar, but he’s still had his fair share of “oopsies” and "yikes" in their relationship. One (which I’m surprised people don’t talk about more) is an incident from Karmaland IV where Vegetta, very unhinged and mentally unstable at the time, kidnapped Rubius’ wife Nieves and threatened her with a sword, saying, “If Rubius can’t be mine, he can’t be anyone’s.”

For the longest time I genuinely thought that line came from a fanfic or something, then I stumbled upon the clip one day and I was just like:

Anyways

In Karmaland V, Rubius became very close with a little alien child named Titi. He took care of Titi like he was his own son, and despite his attempts at emotionally distancing himself early on so he wouldn’t get attached, Rubius wound up caring a lot for him.

Then Titi died.

It was basically Rubius’ worst nightmare come to life – he’d let himself get close to Titi, he’d loved him unconditionally and let Titi into his heart, and Titi’s death utterly destroyed him. Everyone in Karmaland was affected by the death, but Rubius took it especially hard because of how close they were. Rubius was hurting badly and resorting to terrible coping strategies to deal with the pain, and Vegetta…

Well. Vegetta wasn’t very nice about it.

There are a lot of ways we could interpret Vegetta’s actions and words during this time – maybe he’s not super sensitive when talking about death since he’s probably some kind of demigod, maybe he speedran the grieving process, maybe he thought brutal honesty and direct action would help Rubius “snap out of it” sooner. However you see it, ultimately it did a lot more harm than good for Rubius’ overall mental health.

I bring these examples up not to paint their relationship as toxic or negative, but rather to express just how complex it is. Because, despite all their mistakes and drama and heartbreak, at the end of the day, Rubius and Vegetta still love each other more than anything else. Even towards the end of Karmaland V when they were quite literally on opposite sides of the battlefield (one supporting Quackity, the other supporting Luzu), their true loyalties lay with one another. When Rubius was hit by an enemy, Vegetta defended him with his life, and when Vegetta was hurt, Rubius did the same.

Yes, Rubius doesn't really know how to handle healthy relationships, and yes, Vegetta tends to forgive him too easily, but that doesn't erase the love they have. The key we need to remember here is that Rubegetta is a telenovela that sits squarely in the romcom category. They may wander into other genres and tropes from time to time, but they will always gravitate back to one another. Whether you define that as fate or soulmates or just sheer dumb luck, the facts remain and the love is there.

PHEW anyways that felt good to get out, I have so many thoughts on Rubegetta so I appreciate the excuse to rant. I'm always happy to chat about these two! :D And you're so right - Vegetta is so smitten for that demon, I hope he gets to meet the angel too. I hope Rubius comes back soon so Vegetta can see his Osito Fiu Fiu, but in the meantime, we'll have to keep wishing and praying just like Vegetta...

(ALSO THANK YOU the current chapter of that dang Rubegetta fic is kicking my butt rn because it's the only chapter I didn't outline and life events keep interrupting me when I try and work on it, but it IS getting chipped away at bit by bit! I hope folks enjoy the outcome when it's released :D)

#Karmaland #QSMP #Rubius #Vegetta777 #Rubegetta #Vegetta #i talk #qsmp talk #ethogirlie #replies #QSMP Analysis

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

and further on that last post actually - tragedies by their nature pull everyone in, not just the central character

and desire in brief lives fascinates me because the creature who is made up of wants, never satisfied, has to have everything, is faced with losing all of it

like, dream i've talked about before. desire pushes dream around and laughs at his misfortune but they've never actually tried to kill him. they know their plans won't ever be good enough to legitimately overpower him, desire does what they do so dream will respect them, and also (according to an interview with mason i very much agree with) so dream has something to occupy himself with - if he's chasing them and getting angry over their challenges he's not getting stuck in his own depression again, and if they genuinely manage to get through to him and change him maybe he'll be okay

(not to say desire is genuinely helpful, usually they're not, but there's only like one difference between the doll's house confrontation in the show and in the comics, and that's in the comics when dream gives the whole spiel about how the endless aren't better than humanity desire goes "i don't understand". and that's a pretty common thing with them, most of their actually evil/terrible/unforgiveable acts come from not really getting that humans are people, so they don't care about the hurt they're causing. the family problems arise because the other endless do. but at least in desire's head, they're helping)

and this time they see that dream's on a genuinely dark path and they don't want to lose him (or cause any other consequences, will get to that in a minute), so they do their absolute best to stop him

but because desire is so rarely actually helpful, because desire thinks dream's romantic problems are funny, because they're casually cruel and dream doesn't believe desire could ever care about anyone, desire's kinda dug their own grave here. dream doesn't listen.

and that dark path (here's our aforementioned consequences)? finding destruction.

now i go back to the end of doll's house a lot with desire meta, but it really is so informative as to who they are. they're so scared that everything in their life is going to fall apart, but they're really good at pushing things out of their mind and not thinking about it

and destruction is one of those things they don't think about. his leaving broke the rules and broke the family and so desire locked every feeling they had towards their brother away and decided he didn't exist anymore

dream and delirium looking for destruction is dangerous because the endless are both literal and metaphorical like that, you can't seek destruction and return unscathed. but it's also dangerous because it threatens to open that box that's been locked shut and hidden for centuries. and desire no longer knows what's inside. so they panic when delirium starts investigating, and even more so when she tries to recruit others, because delirium's already broken once, she can handle breaking again. but the elder three? break any one of them and you upset the order of everything

maybe desire's warnings would have worked if delirium asked death or destiny. but she asked dream. so desire's poisoned relationship with dream coming back to bite them isn't just hurting dream anymore. it's possibly hurting the whole family. and it's their fault.

and then there's despair

now, despair has an interesting arc in brief lives too. it's subtle, but this is the one time where she stops following desire around, because she and desire disagree on this one. desire wants to forget that destruction ever left, return to 'normal' where things are fine and they don't have to think about anything they don't want to, but despair never wanted destruction to leave. despair misses destruction greatly. so when delirium says she's going to find him, even if despair ultimately says no to coming with, she wants to see her brother again, and later wishes she'd said yes instead

and that's a schism in the twins' relationship, the only one we've ever seen

which means this line is no longer true

and desire, whose safety net is that they have a twin, who feels secure in the fact that no matter what happens, despair will be on their side, suddenly realises that they don't have that either.

in my opinion, desire's primary redeeming quality, the only thing that stops them from qualifying as absolute villain, is that they care so much about their family. their methods are extremely questionable at times, i'm not saying i approve, but as far as desire is concerned, everything they do is for the benefit of the family. (also confirmed by mason in that interview)

except that destiny doesn't talk to them. death disapproves of them. dream, who they thought would always be there to challenge them, is headed down a terrifying path and desire isn't enough to stop him. destruction is gone and desire burned that bridge long ago. they tried to reason with delirium and failed. and now despair is ignoring them

for the first time in potentially ever, desire is entirely alone.

(and desire has so rarely considered mortals worth their time. but this is the next time we see them. and i do wonder if that isn't directly related)

#that said i do also think about how when we first see the threshold it's described as far too big for one person but only one lives there #further similarities between dream and desire: constant self isolation #desire just never consciously registered it as a problem until they have no one left to talk to #the sandman #desire of the endless #despair of the endless #dream of the endless #mine #meta #sandman comic spoilers