#is it obvious that I love this kind of thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thestarsarebrightertonight · 2 days

Note

Hi I love ur “imgonnagethimback” and I was wondering if I could request a enemies to lovers kind of thing like in that story, the fem slytherin reader and Mattheo riddle secretly love each other, they don’t show it but are flirty to each other and they start fake dating to make one of their ex’s jealous and end up daiting for real in the end like a happy ending

obsessed with ur ex // mattheo riddle x fem slytherin reader

playlist : obsessed - olivia rodrigo

summary : you and mattheo constantly have forced proximity being in the same friendgroup , which you hated just as much as you hate him. so its kinda weird the boy that hates you was so eager to help make your ex boyfriend jealous?

y/n used , slytherin fem reader , swearing, not proof read

thank you for the request! i did my best to fit the whole plot into one part i hope you like it

masterlist

"blaise are you nearly done with the potions book , everyone else needs to read it too?!" pansy asked impatiently , sitting across from an unbothered blaise in the library.

your whole group had decided to study together in the library , including mattheo -sadly- , meaning the arguements over books and copying eachothers work had been going on for about an hour now.

"no , im not done. pansy." blaise said plainly , knowing it would only annoy the imaptient girl more.

"blaise!-" she started shouting before being cut off by you grabbing her arm and sliding a book towards her.

"panse...we had another copy the whole time." you said quietly , not wanting to recieve her wrath.

"well why didnt you tell me that 5 minutes ago!" pansy seethed as you avoided eye contact .

"yeah y/n , it such a shame you brain isnt as high quality as your looks." mattheo winked at you from across the table as you sneered at him , quickly replacing pansys anger with your own.

"shut up riddle , i am currently holding a very heavy book and i dont think your brain would like if it came hurtling at your head!" you rambled out quickly in anger , only amusing mattheo more as he grinned at you.

you let out a defeated sigh and slouched into your chair , looking away from the boy and at the table across the library that was emtpy a few minutes ago. but not anymore. now two people sat at it - your ex boyfriend cedric and-...CHO?!

you bolted up from your chair upon seeing them , sitting forward and staring with a shocked expression.

"whats wrong baby , you look like youve seen a ghost!" mattheo laughed at you until pansy shot him a glare and put a hand on your shoulder , having seen cedric and cho aswell.

"y/n just ignore him , he was always a shitty guy-was that not obvious?" pansy tried to comfort you , eventhough it had no effect on your shattered heart.

you and cedric broke up last week , and he was already cuddling with cho in the library?! you didnt think it was even possible to move on that fast.

by this point mattheo had turned to peer at what you stared at to , spotting cedric and scowling.

"dickhead." he muttered to himself , lorenzo having heard it smirked at him.

"i-..." you started , "i want to be sad about it but i....still like cedric."

the whole group gaped at you , shocked by your sudden confessions as theodore broke the silence, "how can you still like that thing?! he broke your heart y/n."

"we were together for ages theo , its not something i can get over in a week." you replied , arguing for your emotions.

"yeah well he clearly didnt show any signs of struggle," mattheo scoffed as you glared at him, firey-eyed.

"fuck you riddle! read the room!" you said quickly with anger before getting up out of your seat , scraping it harshly along the floor before running out of the library.

"way to go mattheo mate," lorenzo said , rolling his eyes.

"they were together for 6 months not a fucking century , shes just being dramatic." mattheo argued back with a shrug.

"its different for girls mate." blaise added , suprisingly deciding to defend you rather than joining in on the teasing.

"very different , remember in second year when you cried for weeks over you 2 day ravenclaw boyfriend panse-?" draco started before being cut off by a flushed pansy.

"shut up draco!" she exclaimed as the whole group laughed at her , asides from mattheo who had long since got up and left the library.

----

"sorry." mattheo said quietly to your curled up frame once he found you in an empty corridor , sat on the floor with you head hung low.

"piss off riddle im not in the mood." you muttered , your voice breaking slightly.

there was a short break of silence as mattheo searched his thoughts for what to do in order to help you.

"lets date." mattheo said confindantly , breaking the heavy silence.

you head snapped up at this , allowing him to see your tear stained face and shocked expression look up at him.

"what?!"

"lets date." mattheo said before panicking , "not-not real date! lets fake date make-.....cedric....jealous"

the bitter way he said cedrics name made you cringe as you replayed his words in your head , "youd...do that for me-?"

"yes!" he cut you off with zero hesititation.

you slowly got up from the ground , dusting off your uniform and walking towards an increasingly nervous mattheo riddle, "thank you mattheo. id love to fake date you"

mattheos whole body heated up as you said his name , he was so used to being called 'riddle' , you saying his name felt like a blessing from the great divine.

"y-youre...youre welcome" he stuttered out as you smiled at the boy , a genuine smile.

"wait outside my dorm tomorrow morning , we can walk to breakfast together!" you grinned happily , deciding not to question your own excitement.

-----

"hi mattheo!" you said happily as you stepped out of your dorm , finding the boy nervously stood outside the door.

"hi," he said quietly , avoiding your eye until you grabbed his face and forced him to look at you.

"you need to look at me if you want people to believe us, babe." you said with a smirk as mattheo turned bright red clearing his throat and pulling your hand off his face.

"right - youre right. lets go." he said before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away from you.

"stop!" you called out to him as he sighed and turned back around , waiting as you walked towards him.

once you were finally infront of him, you placed your bag from your shoulder to his , "boyfriends carry their girlfriends bags".

he scoffed , ready to argue back before you grabbed his wrist and pulled a green bracelet out of your pocket , along with a hair tie.

"and they wear matching bracelets!" you grinned as you slipped the accessories onto his wrist and help up your own wrist , showing him the purple bracelet that you also wore , the same as his but just a different colour.

mattheo blushed deeply , staring down at the bracelet and hair tie , "did-..was this cedrics?"

you looked at him , confused and slightly offended , "no? of course not! i made these last night!"

you pointed at your bracelet that had a letter M charm on it , shining brightly and making mattheos icy persona melt to a poodle of chilling love.

"oh-..thanks." he said awkwardly , holding back a smile.

"dont mention it! lets go." you said before intertweining your hand with his and dragging a flustered mattheo down the corridor and towards the great hall.

---

you whole journey to the great hall had been accompanied by whisperes and points towards the two of you , people gasping at your hand in mattheos and your bag on his shoulder.

"i wonder if cedric will notice." you whispered to mattheo as you walked through the doors of the great hall.

you didnt realise that mattheos grip on your hand had tightened after hearing your words , his body stiffening at the sudden memory of what all this was for. you didnt actually like him. and he hated that.

or atleast he didnt think you liked him.

---

"i still can believe it." pansy said as you both laid on your beds , gossiping in your dorm.

its been two weeks of you 'fake dating' mattheo and it had been going well , cedric seems to be acknowledging you more and your whole group had noticed the increased amount of times mattheo smiled a day. and it had increased a lot.

"panse , whats so hard to believe , he offered a way to get cedric jealous and i took it!" you said , matter of factly.

"yeah but why mattheo! i thought you would reject him and do it with like - enzo instead!" pansy rambeled as you turned and looked at her , laughing.

"pansy it isnt that serious!"

"are you sure about that...seriously y/n i never seen you two so happy before..." pansy said softly , confronting you.

you couldnt deny that you were happy ,so happy that it made you realise it was never cedric you deeply cared about. you accepeted mattheos offer because it was mattheo. but you just werent ready to admit that to him yet.

"i-...i think i like mattheo. theres no use denying it to you - you can read me like a book."

"yay! im so glad youve admmited it , now go confess!" pansy squealed , getting up to try and drag you off your bed.

"pansy im in my pajamas and its 11:50pm , it can wait!" you laughed as pansy sighed and let go off your legs , stumbling back to her bed.

"okay fair enough. but you need to confess soon lover girlll!" pansy teased as you giggled and threw a pillow at her.

----

"i like you y/n."

okay a little bit of context.

you were just sat at your table in the great hall ,resting your head on mattheos shoulder when a deep voice from behind you interupted the group. and thats how we got here! with cedric diggory stood infront of you confessing he 'likes you' in front of all your gobsmacked friends. not to mention your furious boyfr- fake. boyfriend..

"what-" you started before being cut off by mattheos lips on yours.

all of your friends gasped loudly as you froze completely , he continued to kiss you softly , giving you time before you eventually kissed back.

it felt like forever had passed by before panys tense voice cut you and mattheo apart, "guys hes gone please - PLEASE STOP!"

you both quickly moved back , your eyes awkwardly scanning you friends, landing on pansy who covered her eyes and looked down with disgust.

"well thats put me off my food." draco stated , dropping his fork with frustration as you turned bright red.

you turned to mattheo , who only looked at you, searching your expression for a single glimpse of happiness about the kiss. just when he thought he wouldnt find it you abtruptly stood from the table and ran out of the hall , to the nearest abandoned corridor.

you paced back and forth replaying what had happened until the loud sound of running distracted you , mattheo running to stand infront of you and stop your pace.

"y/n-" he started before you cut ihm off , finally making eye contact.

"why would you do that mattheo?!" you asked in pure confusion.

"i know i know- the whole point was to get diggory to like you and i blew it - im so sorry-" he stuttered.

"i love you!" you shouted over him.

the long break of silence that followed nearly made you burst into tears of humiliation.

your realisation for the love you held for mattheo came on the night you talked with pansy , you asumed he liked you back but the tense atmosphere you currently stood in made you heart break with every passing minute.

"i love you too...i-i love you so much and i have for ages-" he started before being cut off by your lips harshly on his again, the kiss holding more passion and meaning than the last.

after a while you pulled away and wrapped your arm around his neck ,smiling up at the flushed boy.

"it was never really about diggory , i was upset sure; but i only accepted your offer because i- i wanted to date you" you whispered with hot cheeks as mattheo smiled down at you adoringly.

"good because im yours," you both laughed lightly as he brushed a hand through your hair, "be my real girlfriends y/n y/l/n?"

"i thought youd never ask!"

a/n : this is lowkey kinda ass sorry LMAO

267 notes · View notes

nu-suave · 3 days

Text

FEELING BETTER? feat. satoru, suguru, utahime

this takes obvious inspiration from im right here? by @satoruluvies ! all credit belongs to her <3

word count: 1159

summary: you're sick, and they come by to make sure you're okay. a/n: ignore the way this kind of qualifies as a sequel to something someone else wrote … also if you see this, thank you for letting me post this with credits <3 i’m notoriously shy and too pussy to ask without anon lmao

cw: mentions of throwing up

“Come on, let me in. I promise, it’s okay.”

“Suguru,” you whine, “I’m sick. I feel awful. I look awful. I threw up on Haibara earlier and he got so grossed out he threw up too. I don’t want you to get sick. Did I mention I look awful?”

“So Haibara can see you like that but I can’t?”

“Yes, because you’re my super pretty boyfriend and he’s my underclassman from high school. There’s a difference.”

Suguru sighs softly, repeating your name in that warm, tender tone he always uses. It leaves your knees weak. “Come on, angel. You know I’m not going to judge you. I just want to take care of you. I’d be a shit boyfriend to neglect you while you’re sick.”

“You’re not neglecting me, Suguru.” You huff. You hesitate, though, his sweet words are enough to have your hand hovering over the doorknob. “...I haven’t showered in two days. I’m snotty. My voice sounds like shit. I haven’t brushed my teeth from the last time I threw up.”

“Baby,” he says, “let me in. I’ll take care of you, okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper, your voice hoarse and thick. The door groans softly as you open the door, peering at Suguru stands. You probably smell awful. Still, he steps into your space and presses a kiss to the crown of your head. “Sorry for the mess.”

“Don’t worry about it.” His hand wraps around the back of your neck, pressing one more kiss to your temple before pulling away. “When was the last time you ate?”

You wince. “Can’t remember. I don’t think I can hold any food down.”

“Let’s just try, okay? You take a shower then lie down, and I’ll make you some bread and soup. Can you do that for me?”

“You treat me so well,” you mumble. “Sorry for not letting you in earlier.”

“It’s okay. I’m here now.”

“Did you seriously invite Gojou over to take care of you?” Utahime complains idly as she grabs two dirty mugs off the coffee table to move them to the kitchen. You feel bad making her clean up after your sick self, but you’ve been banished to the couch - cocooned in a large blanket, your nose sniffling with every other word. “Honestly, did he even do anything? This place is a mess.”

“He held my hair while I was throwing up?”

Given the scowl that contorts her features, that was obviously not the thing you were supposed to say. “Seriously? Did he make sure you ate? Did he even get you the proper meds?”

“He’s not that incompetent,” you say mildly, “and I didn’t want to bother you. You were in Kyoto, Hime.”

“You know I’d travel the distance for you anyday,” she replies softly, “you didn’t need to go to Gojou. I’m here for you.”

“I know. I just… you care so much about your kids. I feel bad stealing your attention from them.”

“They’re my students. You’re my girlfriend.”

You sniffle. “I love you.”

Utahime softens, scooping another mug off the coffee table. “I love you too. You know I’m always a call away, right? I wouldn’t leave you to fend for yourself while you’re sick.”

“Yeah. I just haven’t been thinking straight.”

“Clearly.” She smiles at you, her eyes crinkling with affection. Your heart swells three sizes, like you’re the Grinch or something. “I made you some soup. Do you think you can keep it down?”

You nod slowly. “I think so. My stomach’s feeling better.”

“Good. I’ve taken the next two days off, alright? Let’s just focus on you getting better.”

“Hime–”

“I’m serious.” She reaches over, hand squeezing yours where you’re clutching at the edge of the blanket. “The kids can wait. You’re more important.”

“You’re going to make me cry,” you sniffle, “you have a poor, sick girlfriend, and you’re making them cry.”

Satoru shows up at your door within the hour. He’s in flattering disarray; his hair is still down and messy, rectangular glasses cover his eyes, he’s dressed down in a soft shirt he normally wears to sleep, and there’s a plastic bag in his hand overflowing with some purchases he must’ve made on his way over. You squint at it, and just barely see a new box of paracetamol, right next to a pack of your favourite tea.

“Hi,” you say quietly, wincing at the way you sound. “Sorry. I’m still feeling sick.”

“That’s fine.” He lifts the bag, and it sways from side to side as it hangs in the air between you two. “I bought some stuff. Now let me in. When did you last eat? How’ve you been feeling? Were you lonely, rotting away in bed alone without me there for company?”

“I had Nanami run to grab me some painkillers,” you reply, stepping to the side so he can come in. He quickly makes himself at home, kicking his shoes off at the door before shutting it for you. “I threw up on him at some point. I still feel bad.”

“He can deal. I’d have helped you, you know?”

“Yeah, but-” Your brows furrow as you look into the bag, taking in everything. He’d really gone all out - instead of just painkillers and tea, there’s also lemon and ginger tea, a stuffed toy, roughly three different desserts he must’ve picked up on the way, and three steaming thermos’. You’re impressed he was so willing to just drop them in there with everything, not even scared about them spilling. “You didn’t need to get all of this. I swear, it’s not that bad.”

“Of course I did. Since my lovely partner didn’t want to tell me they were sick–”

“Satoru, you were in Belgium.” Your snotty, clogged nose ruins any possible emotion you could put into those words. “You were busy, and I didn’t want to bother you. I’m sorry.”

“Still. Nanami?” He says, and oh god, is he whining?

“Would you rather I called Suguru?”

“I want you to call me.” His hand snatches your own, fingers settling between the gaps of your own. “Is it so bad I want to be the one taking care of you when you’re sick?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you first. I just really didn’t want you to worry.”

“It’s my job to worry.” He tugs you closer by the hand, his other moving to cup your cheek as his bag of gifts slides down to his elbow. He leans in, and you quickly press your hand over his face.

“Don’t kiss me, you’ll get sick.”

He pulls your hand away. “You’re a horrible partner. First I don’t know you’re sick, then you’re refusing to kiss me - what next? Are you going to eat my dessert? Are you going to kick me out? I got your favourites!”

You snort. “Don’t be too dramatic, baby. I just don’t want you getting sick too.”

“We can be sick together then! Come on–”

hi. fun fact i misread a due date for one of my assignments and thought it was due last night. it was due two weeks ago. anyways i panicked and emailed my professor and she was nice enough to give me an extension to friday .. thank you my lord and saviour. i'm sorry i stress wrote fanfiction instead of working on the assignment worth 30% of my grade.

395 notes · View notes

calaisreno · 1 day

Text

His Favourite Jumper

Sherlock can be careless, but he always tries to make things right.

1627 words / Prompt: Eavesdropping

“What’s this?” Mrs Hudson frowns at what he’s showing her. “John’s jumper?”

“John’s favourite jumper. I need to fix it.”

She takes it in her hands and assesses the damage. It’s a nice jumper, all worsted, cabled up the front, the sleeves set in with steeks. Certainly hand knit by someone who knew what she was doing. She assumes it’s a she; there aren’t many men she knows with the patience to knit.

“What did you do to it?”

“The flat was chilly, so I was wearing it. Borrowed it. John wasn’t home. I was doing an experiment and spilled acid on it. I’ll need matching yarn, I assume. And knitting needles.”

The holes are extensive, she notes, and even a good darner would find it hard to repair such extensive damage. Still frowning, she looks up at him. “Do you know how to knit?”

“Well, no. But knitting is just interlocking loops. How hard can it be?”

She stifles a snort. The poor boy is distressed, but determined to fix what he’s ruined. No one should despise a novice effort, but…

“Sherlock, love, these are a lot of holes, and matching the colour and type of the wool is a bit harder than you might think. Even if you could find a match, even you could darn them all, it’s not going to be like new. He’ll be able to tell.”

His face falls a bit. “But he can’t know I’ve ruined it. And he’ll notice it’s gone.”

“You might buy him a new one.”

“This one was hand-made by his grandmother. It won’t be the same.”

Nothing is the same, she wants to say. Sometimes we have to let go of things.

But he’s looking at her so hopefully, and it’s a shame to crush that kind of hope. It’s obvious what’s happening. He’s been in love with John since they moved in together. Sherlock can be careless, but that’s because he’s heedless in his enthusiasm. This isn’t the first jumper he’s ruined, and that’s surely part of his worry. John does have a temper.

“Just tell him. He’ll forgive you.”

“He’s always forgiving me, and I just keep ruining things. Please, Mrs Hudson. Won’t you show me how?”

Now his eyes shine with tears that threaten to fall.

She gives him a darning lesson.

John notices the jumper is missing. She sees him going through the laundry, looking for it, and then through the bins.

When he asks, she plays the innocent, asking him when he last wore it, whether he might have taken it off and left it somewhere. He shakes his head.

She’s watching an old movie late one night when Sherlock brings his work down to her.

“It looks awful,” he says, slumping on her sofa. “I can’t give it to him like this.”

“I think you’re underestimating him, love. He’s not going to leave because you ruined his jumper.”

“This is not the only thing I’ve ruined,” Sherlock replies. “I broke his mug, I lost his charging cord, and I accidentally set his book on fire. It was only a paperback, but still. He must think I’m trying to drive him out.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

Sherlock’s face is pleading. “Please, Mrs Hudson. You must show me how to knit.”

“Knitting a jumper takes time.”

“How long, would you estimate?”

“Well, there’s the size. It’s not a large one, so that’s all right, and it’s a thicker yarn. Made in the round, so there won’t be much stitching up. But you’re a novice, and that adds hours. I would say… forty hours, minimum.”

“A week, then?”

“When will you find forty hours in your week to work on it?”

“John goes to bed earlier than I do, and he’s at work most days. I’ll sleep when he’s home, so I can work on it when he’s gone or asleep.”

She gives him a knitting lesson.

A skilled eavesdropper, she overhears their conversation, John asking, Sherlock giving a shrug and suggesting that if he had indexed his jumpers, maybe he wouldn’t have misplaced it.

At night, Sherlock comes down for instruction. She shows him how to make ribbing around the bottom and cables as he travels up the body. He has good dexterity and makes quick progress.

“He’s bought himself a new jumper,” he informs her. “Very cheap. Obviously machine-made. And the yarn is plastic!”

“Acrylic,” she says. “It has the advantage of laundering well. No shrinkage.”

“I hate it,” Sherlock replies. “But mine looks uneven. I’m not happy.”

“You have to check your gauge. You’re new to this, so it’s probably changed as you’ve become more proficient.”

She pulls out her gauge ruler and shows him. “See? It’s narrowing. Your stitches are getting tighter.”

“How do I fix it?”

“You can either switch to larger needles, or you can recalculate, unravel, and start over. Either way, you’ll need to pull out a few rows.”

He presses his fingers against his forehead. “This is going to take years!”

“Not years.” She pats his hand. “You’ve got the hang of it. Even experienced knitters have to pull out days of work sometimes. It’s worth it to get a jumper that looks good.”

He gives a heartfelt sigh, slides the jumper off the needles, and begins pulling the stitches out.

She admires his determination. It takes him weeks to work his way to the armholes, and then she shows him how to do a steek where he will attach the needles for the sleeves. As his consulting business picks up, the weeks turn into months.

At Christmas, John wears a dark blue jumper with an Icelandic yoke of red and white. She admires it; he smiles and tells her his grandmother made it for him. Sherlock’s eyes are on him, every time John isn’t looking. It’s not the jumper he’s admiring.

The jumper is set aside after Moriarty steals the Crown Jewels, hacks into the Bank of England, and breaks into Pentonville Prison.

Sherlock bows out of John’s birthday, claiming he has a ‘thing.’ When she comes up to check on him, he’s finished one sleeve, ready to start the other.

She can see John is hurt that Sherlock skipped his birthday. He didn’t even get him a card. He says nothing, but the way he looks at Sherlock makes her certain; he’s in love with his flatmate.

Afterwards, an awful silence fills the flat. She can hear the floorboards creak a bit as John paces back and forth. There’s no violin to soothe him to sleep.

It’s days before she can bear opening the door of his room, but she knows she has to put things in boxes. His brother has promised to continue paying the rent until he can collect his things. But it’s heartbreaking, looking at all the familiar clutter. She has to tidy up.

There are clothes scattered on the floor, and she gathers them for the wash. She goes through his drawers, tallying how many boxes she’ll need. In the wardrobe, all his suits and shirts hang in dry cleaner’s bags.

As she prepares to close the wardrobe door, she spots a file box with a label reading: Experiment. Do not open!

She opens it, of course. Can’t have experiments biding their time in the wardrobe. He always had odd ideas about what was acceptable.

Inside, she finds the jumper. He worked on it for more than a year, and it’s nearly done, just the bottom half of the second sleeve left, and he’s tidied up the ends on the inside already.

It’s a good piece of work, she decides. A long apology for something John would surely have forgiven. It’s love unspoken, words he could never say.

Such a shame, she thinks.

That evening, she finishes the second sleeve, weaves in the final ends. It needs hand washing and blocking, so she takes on those tasks as well.

When it’s done, it looks perfect. If she were judgemental, she would say it’s even better than the original. She folds it and wraps it in tissue paper, places it inside a Marks & Spencer shopping bag.

John Watson is going to get his apology, even if it’s long overdue.

She finds the dismal little flat where he’s living now. Moving out hasn’t made him any happier, she can see when he opens the door.

“Mrs Hudson,” he says, apologetic. “You didn’t have to—”

“It’s fine, John. I’ve brought you something.”

He opens the bag, reaches in. Frowning, he pulls out the jumper.

“This,” he says, practically speechless. “It’s beautiful. It’s almost like the one…”

“The one Sherlock ruined,” she finishes. “He was so distraught over that, John. He was afraid you wouldn’t forgive him.”

“And… you made this… to replace it.” He’s feeling the wool, an incredulous smile on his face. “Mrs Hudson, this is beautiful.”

“No, love.” She smiles, the tears starting to fill her eyes. “He made it.”

For a moment he just gazes, not comprehending. “Sherlock? He made this?”

“For you. He ruined the other— it was an accident. You know him, so careless when he got caught up in things. And he wanted to make it right, so you’d forgive him. He didn’t know how, so I taught him. He did it all himself.”

He buries his face in the jumper. She can see his shoulders shaking.

“There, love. He had it nearly done, and was intending to give it to you, before… well, I know he’d want you to have it now.” She pats his shoulder. “He really loved you, John. I hope you know that. He worked on this for over a year, right up to the end. He loved you.”

Weeping, John raises his face. “I loved him too. And I forgive him.”

@lisbeth-kk @keirgreeneyes @totallysilvergirl

A knitter of jumpers myself, I imagine that Sherlock would enjoy the mathematical aspects of the craft. 🧶 💕

#mayprompts2024 #johnlock #his favourite jumper

126 notes · View notes

achaotichuman · 3 days

Text

After extensive research (looking at my moots reblogs and my own) I have come to the conclusion that this is what the pro vs anti side of ACOTAR actually looks like.

Anti side- We believe that SJM isn't good at portraying the themes she uses in her stories, and she doesn't do her characters justice.

Pro side- We believe SJM is good at portraying the themes she uses in her stories, and she does do her characters justice.

People who are insane and should not be a reflection of either side- IF YOU LIKE *INSERT CHARACTER* YOU DESERVE TO FUCKING DIE!!!!!

This post was sparked by this post, @wingsdippedingold

#obviously it is a little more complex than this #but i believe that all these people going around harrassing others and making fun of people should not be a reflection of their side of #the fandom they should be an example of what being chronically online looks like #because i know people who are pro rhysand irl #and they are sweet and lovely #it is literally just people on the internet hiding behind the face of anonymity #this fandom has the highest rate of people who think it is perfectly acceptable to harass others #simply because of their preferences in a book #and it is obvious that one particular side has more people in it who believe it socially acceptable to act this way #and ill give you a hint it isnt the anti side #though both sides have these kinds of people #acotar #acotar rant #fandom things #fandom rant

46 notes · View notes

a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual · 3 days

Text

Clone wars headcanons about everything and nothing

Ahsoka has a decent amount of allergies but only a handful are actually life-threatening and no matter how much she tells Anakin that it never stops him from treating them all the same

And by treating them all the same I mean he’s slapped some snacks out of her hands because he knew she was slightly allergic to it

In his defense the clones are really bad at keeping track of her allergies and because of that they have fed her a couple of things that were lethal to her and ever since then Anakin’s never really trusted them with food

Also in his defense Ahsoka once ate something she was highly allergic to on a dare (the poor clone didn’t know she was allergic) and all she did to remedy the situation was hand said poor clone her EpiPen before passing out

Unfortunately the clone didn’t know how to use the EpiPen so Ahsoka ended up passing out and Anakin and Rex had to rush her off to the med bay because they didn’t know how to use the EpiPen either

Because of this incident the clones weren’t allowed to give Ahsoka food and there were a couple of signs that said “blue to the sky orange to the thigh” around the ship

I feel like everyone in Clone Wars is simultaneously touch-starved and tactile which is a very fun mix especially when I think about Ahsoka and everyone else because I like to think whenever Ahsoka asks for a hug 9.5/10 she gets one

Master Plo is the most used to this cause Ahsoka’s been like this since she was a child and he’ll admit he’s spoiled her with hugs

If you were to ask her what his hugs feel like she would say they feel like childhood or that feeling you get when you smell something that you could only find in your home when you were a kid

Obi-Wan is an interesting can of worms because he’s as tactile and touch-starved as the rest of them but he’s also incredibly touch-adverse which results in him declining hugs 5/10 because he just can't fathom touching someone in that moment

But when he does give Ahsoka a hug she’ll say there’s nothing like it and she would often describe it as a breath of fresh air and very soothing on stressful days

Rex is most likely it give Ahsoka a hug bro is simply the hugger™ and she would describe his hugs as comforting if not a little awkward but grounding none the less kind of like hugging a weighted blanket just out of the drier

She doesn’t get to see Padme nearly as often as she would like which means she tries to get a hug whenever she can and Padme will never decline her hugs if anything she initiates most of them

Ahsoka doesn’t remember her mom or her hugs well but if she had to give an example of what a hug from her mom felt like she would say Padme’s

Anakin honestly isn’t comfortable with touching people he doesn’t know well but when he does feel comfortable with someone he’s clingy

Ahsoka will never admit this half cause it’s embarrassing and half because she fears it would hurt the other’s feelings but Anakin’s hugs are easily her favorite something about the all-encompassing hug makes her feel safe and secure like nothing else

But the funny thing is that sometimes he doesn’t really have the energy to hug Ahsoka so he’ll just put all of his dead weight on her which usually results in one of two reactions from her

one. Is usually her saying “Hug me like you love me” or something along those lines to which he will squeeze the everloving force out of her or two. “Hug me like a normal person” which usually gets the smartass response of “Who said I was a normal person”

So it’s pretty obvious that Anakin and Ahsoka have their bigger competitions but they’ve also got little ones like who can make the funnier face when Obi-Wan is trying to do his work which normally ends with the duo hunched over laughing and Obi-Wan finding another place to work

The: “Who can accurately make the noises Obi-Wan makes while stretching” challenge which just usually results in the clones worriedly checking in on them cause it sounds like they’re in pain

The: “Who can eat more ice cream” challenge always ends with Anakin regretting his life choices and Ahsoka doing the dishes because she feels bad

Long story short they’ve got a lot of challenges cause they’re competitive little weirdos but the funniest part is they rarely keep score of who the winner is so they’re in an endless cycle of useless competitions

Obi-Wan has slowly collected mugs for everyone he’s close with and they have a nice little home in his otherwise empty mug cupboard

Anakin and Padme have matching from Naboo because Obi-Wan took them shopping when they were pretty young

Padme can’t drink tea with them as often as she would like but when she can schedule a small tea break Anakin makes sure to smuggle all their mugs out of Obi-Wan’s kitchen

Ahsoka’s mug is possibly one of Obi-Wan's favorites it’s a good size and practical but’s also got nice intricate color-changing details because they both thought it looked cool

Cody and Obi-Wan’s mugs are pretty similar but their main difference is the childlike handwriting on the bottom of one that says “to: Obi from: Ani”

Rex doesn’t get a mug until later and it’s the most unconventional and inconvenient mug in all of creation the poor dude has to hold it from the sides because his hands don’t fit in the handle

And its design pisses Obi-Wan off every time he sees it the only thing that’s stopping him from smashing it into hundreds of little pieces is that Rex picked it so in the cupboard it stays

Sometimes the group forgets that Ahsoka isn’t human which leads to very funny circumstances

Like Rex losing a decent amount of credits trying to call Ahsoka’s “bluff” of being able to bench twice his weight

Or at the fact that Obi-Wan was once hiding from Ahsoka and Anakin because he didn’t want the duo to see the extent of his injuries from a solo mission

But he forgot that Ahsoka could smell and hear better than the average being so she was able to track him down pretty fast (she was also freaked out cause she could hear his erratic heartbeat and smell the blood so that wasn’t a pleasant experience for her)

Or the number of times when she’s eaten an unholy amount of food just for Anakin to wake up at 3 am to find her scavenging for more cause she’s still hungry

And let me tell you seeing some small hunched-over little creature with reflective eyes at that time of night would make even the chosen one screech like a banshee

#star wars #star wars clone wars #the clone wars #star wars headcanons #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #obi wan kenobi #padmé amidala #captain rex #snips and skyguy #disaster siblings #disaster trio #this has so much chaos #literally all of the chaos #I feel like I forget this family is comprised of strange little creatures #I love them dearly #also my sister has finally accepted that she is in fact Anakin #now all i gotta do is convince her to do Halloween costumes #One small step for man and all that bull

84 notes · View notes

n1ghtwr1ter · 2 days

Text

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

#the locked tomb #kiriona gaia #harrowhark nonagesimus #griddlehark #gideon nav #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #sorry if this makes 0 sense #but also sorry not sorry bc I don’t care #and neither do you if you’re being honest with yourself #go enjoy thinking about your little masc Lyctor fusion and leave me alone to not rot when I’m supposed to #and why yes I do need therapy #thanks very much for noticing #if you feel like paying for it and the hours I’d miss going to it here’s my cashapp #$fuckoff-2024 #also just to get out in front of these #yes I should just go read something else #but 1. you and I both know this series changes your brain chemistry so good fucking luck #and 2. point me at a book where the butch gets to be in the spotlight and I will gladly fuck off forever

110 notes · View notes

ink-iron-and-glass · 1 day

Text

So. I had a thought. Regulus Black, enters Hogwarts, and is sorted into Slytherin. He meets a boy named Evan Rosier and immediately platonic soulmates. One of those “abused?” “abused.” type of immediate friendship that it turns out was actually just destined to happen. Barty just stumbles into the mix one day when Evan comes back to the dorm and is like “look at the cute one I found on the side of the road” and it’s just their roommate but with a black eye from Dorcas Meadowes who thought she heard him call some one a mudbl**d but it was actually just the kid next to him and she apologized several times but didn’t know a healing spell and (for obvious reasons) Evan did. Anyway, they’re still young and the Gryffindors and Slytherins aren’t quite friends yet, except Lily and Snivellus but we all know how that turns out. Anyway, Reggie is still missing his brother at school and kind of acts as his shadow sometimes, but soon Reggie realizes he isn’t following Sirius for Sirius, but because of the loud, pretty boy who walks with him. Side story, we all know about James’s red converse, right? Very important to this story. Also important to this story is that Reggie is colorblind. Back to the point. One day, Reggie is laying on Evan’s bed whining about stupid Potter while Evan laughs because 11 year old love is terrible. Crushes and new feelings and plus, they’re raised pureblood so like. Homophobia. However, over the summer, Reggie decides that he wants to be just like James. Now, this is around when Sirius is pulling away and like realizing that his house is trash, so when Reggie goes to buy converse, Siri doesn’t come with, even though Reggie needs him for color correction. This results is Regulus wandering around the store until he finds shoes that seem to be the same shade of grey as the ones he always sees on James and he buys them. He enchants them black when he gets home, because emo Slytherin things, but he knows that they are the same as James. When he gets back to school for second year, in the middle of comparing bruises and after kicking Barty out for being so horrified by the abuse, Regulus shows Evan the real color of the shoes. Evan busts out laughing, and like a mean 12 year old boy just laughs and laughs at his best friend who is trying to say that he likes James and he hates it. Finally, Evan catches his breath and reveals to Regulus that the shoes are not, in fact, red converse to match James’s but a horrifyingly ugly burnt orange color. Regulus enchants them black again with a flustered face and Evan gently pats his head and offers to help Reggie get some of the correct color. Instead of agreeing, Regulus has Evan help him find shoes of the orange color so that he has a reminder of James and how he feels, without becoming James. So yeah. Thoughts happened. Regulus Black with burnt orange converse.

56 notes · View notes

pompomoo · 1 day

Text

I drew over 50 pages of a manga like this for a fan event in Japan. I can't post it on Tumblr due to capacity, but I will eventually put it on pixiv and other places(maybe).

“Were Ptolemy and Nathaniel similar?” That was the theme of manga.

I really love the character Nathaniel. He is not an obvious good guy like Ptolemy, nor does he have a strong sense of justice like Kitty (strictly speaking, I don't think Kitty has a strong sense of justice. She just hates lying to herself a lot. Her principle of action is always for her own satisfaction, not for others. But that's the beauty of Kitty. Of course). Nathaniel is a boy who was taught from an early age to hate spirits and learned that love and justice are useless when he lost Mrs. Underwood. But in the end he opened his heart to Kitty and overcame his hatred to love Bartimaeus. After all, he was also a boy who could throw himself away for the sake of others.

The most important thing for a human being is not to not make mistakes. It is to realize one's mistakes and try to correct them. Nathaniel was a boy who could do that; at PG he realized his mistake and regretted it, even though he was still a teenage boy. It is often not easy for even adults to admit their mistakes in life. So I really like and respect that part of Nathaniel. I also wonder what kind of person he would have been if he had grown up in a different environment. Well, but this piece is interesting because Nathaniel is such a twisted character. Haha. Well, I know I'm off subject, but I was drawing something like that in contrast to Ptolemy.

Well, I finished this manga and I will post more artworks in a while. Thank you for reading this far.

#bartimaeus #fanart #nathaniel #ptolemy

62 notes · View notes

byslantedlight · 2 days

Text

Hello OFMD Tumblr thingie, and all the amazing people who are out there, and especially the ones who've been making all the posts that have made me so happy over the last few months. 💖💖💖 First and most importantly, thank you, thank you, thank you, to anyone who sees this!

This is my first post to Tumblr (probably pretty obvious from my huge lack of Tumblr sophistication! And the length of this post...) If you don't count reblogging things that I wanted to be able to find again. I've braved up to comment thank you to people a couple of times, but that's been it so far. I must admit it all looks a bit scary from this side of the glass, even though I can also see how friendly people mostly are.

But OFMD fandom is big! And you've been here a long time! I loved Series 1 when I watched it, and knew I wanted to watch out for Series 2, but it wasn't until I re-watched it when the Series 2 trailer came out on BBC iPlayer that I fell veeeery in love with it! And by then you were already here, and there was a language and debates about things I'd barely even noticed, and it's mostly me staring with big eyes thinking wow, and sometimes huh? and... well, you know. Plus there's trying to work out Tumblr, which I definitely haven't actually managed to do yet, and possibly never will, so... I decided to just jump in and post summat. Even just rambling, which is a bit of a specialty of mine... I mean - what's the worst that can happen, right? 😬

So... how come now? Well, I can't make art or gorgeous screenshots or gifs. I do write, but I'm still hanging out to get the right voices in my keyboard... I know them when I hear them, but you've gotta get the right rhythm going, and I'm not quite there yet, I don't think. Although really, I should probably just sit down and try (and stop waiting for work to shut up and give me time - I should be a pirate and take it!)

Anyway (told you about the rambling...) what I'm mostly doing apart from rewatching the eps on a constant loop is reading the fic. I'm picking it according to kudos on AO3, and according to recs that I see on Tumblr, and it's occured to me that alot of the stories I'm loving must have been recced looong ago, and that newbies like me totally missed them, and so maybe I could do my own recs, even if they are of older stories, and someone might find them useful. You know, if I work out how anyone else might ever see my posts. 😁 And if people aren't put off by my probably age-revealing use of emojis. (But I am entirely age-appropriate for Ed and Stede, and if I had to look up what zaddy meant too, well, that just means I matched Rhys Darby's expression in the bts, right? 🤨)

So it's not much, but I'd like to contribute even just a tiny bit to OFMD fandom in return for everything it gives me, so... yeah. That's my plan. I'll start in a bit, but this post is probably already too long since it's just rambling. And kind of dull. I should probably have said tl:dr at the top, shouldn't I, but then maybe anyone who actually saw this wouldn't, so... See, I kind of live in hope. 😊

Okay. Tags next, right? ... ack ... why won't it let me create new tags instead of just using ones from the drop down...? Well, those will have to do for now... maybe someone who sees this will have mercy and tell me how? I'll just be over here being a slight failure at Tumblr... And if you've made it this far (how long is an acceptable post over here?! Not this long, I don't think...) - thank you hugely for just that, and may your dreams be OFMD and joyous!

#ofmd #ofmd fanfic

54 notes · View notes

dragonageconfessions · 2 days

Text

CONFESSION:

So depressing that on tv tropes for dragon age, I’m reading up on dai characters and it’s so obvious whoever wrote it hated Vivienne.

Meanwhile Solas section he got excused for any racism, bigotry and hypocrisy. Every bad point of Solas was softened to make him sound better.

Vivienne, for her own bigotry and hypocrisy, gets absolutely slated and the whole thing just saddens me.

People in this fandom will bend over backwards for any subtext for a male character to prove that they’re kind and not at all bad deep down but God forbid they get a female character that’s the same.

If Vivienne or Sera were male, people would actually love them.

And I hate that because I like them, even with their flaws because they have them for a reason. It’s their backstory.

#Dragon Age Confessions #bioware #da fandom critical #sera dragon age #vivienne dragon age #dragon age inquisition

68 notes · View notes

pixeljade · 3 days

Text

thoughts on The Toronto Experience so far:

• Its extremely satisfying buying something for $2.50 CAS and watching as it only spends $1.83 USD on my card

• Also your money is like, SO MUCH BETTER than American money, especially the bills. American sweaty crumpled mess vs Canadian crisp uncrumplable plastic

• Real poutine is good, but Ketchup Chips are truly life-changing and I need to get more before i go

• Everything is so walkable and there's secret tunnel pathways wverywhere!!! i know this is normal for a city this size but its so fun

• Everyone here is also very VERY kind, except when theyre driving??? Like people were very mean about my driving and I think just because I was trying to figure out where to park doesnt make me evil

• Pigeons here are HUGE and NOT REMOTELY AFRAID OF HUMANS. Had SEVERAL land on me. what the HELL

• All the brands are like SLIGHTLY not-right. Like you have a brand called Pizza Pizza right? Well in America thats what Little Caesar's says. But here instead he says "Hot N Ready!" and Pizza Pizza is its own thing. Like I said before its like a parallel universe

• The Canadian accent is real, I mean like, OBVIOUS i know, but its not exaggerated really! I love it so much

39 notes · View notes

hiding-in-the-vault · 1 day

Note

that dsmp finale gets too much hate do u have any post about it

This is the only post I could find on it: link

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not much of a yapper, so that's all I got. I ranted about it more in DMs.

Ngl, I haven't seen any finale hate, besides from angry cinniters but that just makes me laugh since their complaints usually make it obvious they hadn't even watched the streams. Any criticism I've seen towards it tends to be extremely uncharitable and therefore not worth my time.

Since then, I only feel more strongly about how fantastic the finale was. All the characters involved did a amazing job, the buildup was great-- and its sad!! Maybe people forget that a sad ending isn't bad. That they were so close to understanding each other only for it to all get blown away, forced to restart.

And that's the thing I don't get seen brought up publicly much: the reset is not a good thing. Not for Dream, anyway. They say there's been countless resets now, and reason to believe Dream wanted to end this cycle. They're slaves to a reset they didn't ask for. Dream talks about immortality but I don't think the forced kind where you forget your entire life is what he had in mind. It's sad

and awesome :D

I love open-ended and I love bittersweet. Will they discover the cycle again and finally stop it? or are they cursed to continue again and again and again

But I digress. The finale was everything it was promising itself to be. People who wanted something different were ignoring the signs leading up to it. Too stuck in a fanfiction mindset where conclusions happen that aren't actually good for the overall story. In a narrative built upon morally grey characters and struggling against the cycle of violence, this was perfect.

#vault talks #dreblr #if i come up with a better way to work it ill make another post #this was the first thing i did this morning lmao

47 notes · View notes

nico-di-genova · 1 day

Note

Hmmm I don’t particularly have any questions but feel free to just ramble on about any ideas you have, because I would love to hear more about this au because I honestly feel like this is them in a parallel dimension lol. Or, alternatively tell us more about how Strollonso met for the first time :33

I have SO many ideas.

So I was already decided on Fernando being a retired athlete of some sort. After all the strollonso motogp discussions today, I’m firmly settled on him being a retired rider.

He and Lance meet at a monthly car meet in Estero. Lance isn’t really a car guy per-say, that’s more Pato and Esteban’s thing and he kind of tags along. He likes looking at them, likes driving them sometimes, but he usually prefers his bike when it comes to getting around. Fernando is a car guy though, brings his own car to show off and sees Lance walking around in his motorcycle jacket, with his helmet in his hand and strikes up a conversation while Pato is ogling at his car.

Lance has no idea who he is, but they get to talking about Lance’s bike specs, one thing leads to another…

This fic will probably feature a substantial amount of bike rides tbh. They’re both adrenaline junkies, but also they spend a lot of time on the golf course too (Lance’s major and all). Since Fernando’s mansion is literally built in a golfing community, Lance spends a lot of mornings there. They sometimes race each other in the golf carts, much to everyone else’s annoyance. Lance teaches Fernando how to golf, Fernando teaches Lance how to ride (read that as you will).

Lance’s frat brothers are used to him showing up to meetings late, usually like 20 minutes late with a dunkin coffee and apology donut holes for everyone (which, ya know, they can’t eat really, since it’s not kosher but it’s the thought that counts ig). He was late before Fernando because of poor time management, now he’s late and the hickeys on his neck are the obvious reason.

If this fanfic had a scent it would probably be sunscreen and leather. Bike rides to the beach and Lance lazing around on Fernando’s yacht. Late nights spent at galas and banquets and fancy dinners where Fernando pays because Lance likes being taken care of and Fernando is happy to do it. Motorcycle helmets and suits because they ride to all of these events on Lance’s bike (they alternate who drives, sometimes they take two bikes, but Lance likes the feeling of Fernando pressed against him as they do 100+ mph on the interstate).

Idk, I have to stop rambling, this is getting nonsensical, but yeah. Strollonso college au 🥰.

#strollonso college au #strollonso #I am living in this au rn #it is so very real to me

28 notes · View notes

cosmicjoke · 22 hours

Text

Levi and Zeke and the Way "Bad Boy" Demonstrates How Empathy Can Overcome Hardship:

One other point I want to make about how “Bad Boy” demonstrates Levi’s inherent goodness is by comparing what we realize is Levi’s single, good remembered experience with his mother, to Zeke’s own, multiple good experiences growing up, and how through their responses to those experiences, and through their divergent outcomes, we once again see the prevailing of nature over nurture in the world of “Attack on Titan”.

Zeke had numerous, clear and solid memories of being loved and cared for, both by Mr. Ksavar and by his grandparents. He had the love of Mr. Ksavar in his life into his late teens, and of his grandparents throughout his entire adulthood. Mr. Ksavar would play catch with Zeke and spend quality time with him just for the pleasure of his company and because he cared about Zeke’s well-being. And we see Zeke’s grandparents overjoyed at Zeke’s safe return from Marley’s war with the East, greeting him upon reentering Liberio, plainly relieved. They clearly loved him deeply. It's interesting to note, though, how Zeke could never see it. He was blind to it, and dismissive of it, because Zeke was always filled with this bitter hate, too wrapped up in his anger toward Grisha to notice he was loved by others all along, too addicted to his resentment to appreciate and cherish the love he had. He rather chose to believe he was unwanted and uncared for, giving in to the world’s cruelty because he was always cruel himself.

Levi, by contrast, had no clear or solid memory of his mother. All Levi had was a vague impression of her beauty. Of her elegance. A single memory from early childhood of them sharing tea together, and her smiling at him. We know it's only a vague impression that remains of her, because Levi says so, that the only thing he remembers clearly of her is her elegance, and also through the fact that, from Levi's perspective, we never see a fully clear shot of Kuchel's face. And yet, despite the obvious hardship of their lives together, the poverty and despair and deprivation, the filth of their surroundings and the hopelessness of their circumstances, and despite his final experience with his mother being one of pointless death and suffering, he remembered her with great fondness, and fought to preserve her in his memory. He held on to his one, good memory of her with fierce dedication and cherished it with all his heart, even romanticized it in his mind as being better than it surely was. Because Levi was always filled with kindness and compassion and gratitude, and always believed in those things, in spite of the suffering in his life. He even rebelled against the ugliness of the world by refusing to give up his one, good memory to it. He refused to give in to the world’s cruelty because he was always a good person.

And yet, it’s clear to me that that fleeting image of kindness from his mother wouldn't have been enough to overcome the years of cruelty, abuse and violence Levi was subjected to afterward unless Levi himself was already predisposed to being kind and compassionate. If he wasn’t simply naturally empathetic.

Levi’s childhood, I think, is meant to be directly contrasted with Zeke’s in particular.

Levi had a worse life than Zeke, and a worse childhood, by far, and yet, he remained a good man.

Zeke, by comparison, became an ever-increasingly bad man.

"Bad Boy" in many ways demonstrates to us how one’s nature, ultimately, is what decides who we are, not our environment, and also, I believe, how empathy, and the presence of empathy in our hearts, is what ultimately makes us strong, not weak.

Our environment can serve as a trigger for certain aspects of our natures and personalities coming out and manifesting, but it's never the root cause. It’s never the thing that creates those aspects of our personality. Those things have to be inborn. We have to have a predisposition to developing them. The same as how certain people are more predisposed to developing certain diseases than others.

It was Levi's inborn nature that allowed him to overcome the brutality of his childhood. An inborn strength, rooted in his inborn empathy.

Anyone who thinks Levi is weak for having been a victim, and for continuing to be impacted by the abuse he suffered, completely misses the entire point of this story. It's Levi's empathy that makes him strong. And yes, his sensitivity of heart makes him such that he's deeply impacted by and affected by his traumas. And yet, that in itself is the symbol of his strength. It's exactly because Levi is still impacted and still suffers the trauma of what he went through as a child, but in spite of that, continues to be the kindest, most compassionate character in the story, that marks him out as "humanity's strongest". It was always his heart that earned him that title, not his physical ability. That's what this story is, at it's center, actually about.

In contrast, we see demonstrated for us Zeke’s weakness.

Zeke allowed his childhood experiences to bring out his own, inherent cruelty. Zeke gave in to the cruel circumstances of his upbringing because of an inborn lack of empathy, and an inborn narcissism.

After all, one of the defining traits of narcissism is a lack of empathy.

"Bad Boy" demonstrates in the most stark terms a direct contrast between Levi’s childhood and Zeke’s, as well as Levi’s and Eren’s, and shows us how much stronger Levi always was than either of them.

Empathy, and the importance of empathy, is one of the core themes of AoT as a whole. So, it makes sense that the presence, or lack of it in each of these respective characters would serve to demonstrate that theme by showing us where each of them ends up as a result of either having or lacking empathy.

Through the divergence in Levi’s and Zeke’s paths, we see how it is that empathy actually makes us stronger, not weaker. We see how those with sensitive and kind hearts are the ones with true strength.

I think we also see this contrast between Levi and Zeke in their respective views of their abusive parental figures.

For Zeke, even his perception of his mother’s and father’s treatment of him is warped by his lack of empathy. Because, while they were certainly extremely abusive toward him, they still treated him as special and even necessary, not as unwanted or uncared for. He hated them, and particularly, he hated Grisha, and even wanted to exact revenge on him by accomplishing the exact opposite of what Grisha fought for, by destroying the Eldian race entirely. That is, for Zeke, really the underlying, root cause of his euthanasia plan, despite what he says about wanting to end other people's suffering. Zeke was absolutely convinced, through his self-absorption, that his parents didn’t want him, despite them never, really sending him that message, and he essentially decided to take his bitterness over that belief out on everyone else.

This is supported, I think, by the fact that Mr. Ksavar, whom Zeke got his antinatalism philosophy from, didn’t impart that philosophy to Zeke until Zeke was nearly full-grown, well out of any truly vital, childhood developmental stage. And Zeke’s idea to euthanize the Eldian race didn’t come from Mr. Ksavar at all. That was entirely Zeke’s own brainchild, rooted again, I think, in his desire to get back at Grisha, by destroying what he thought was Grisha’s dream. More important to note, still, is that before all this, Mr. Ksavar actually sent the distinct message to Zeke that his life mattered and that he was loved and wanted by telling him to turn his parents in to the authorities to save himself. He sent Zeke the message that his life was more important than his parents, that Mr. Ksavar himself saw it as a fair exchange, Grisha’s and Dina’s lives for Zeke’s.

For Levi, despite Kenny’s abuse and eventual abandonment of him, and despite introducing brutal violence and a disdain for life into Levi’s world by exposing him to and teaching him the practice of killing other human beings for sport, Levi never actually developed any, real hatred for Kenny, and never sought to exact any sort of vengeance on him, despite the trauma he subjected him to. And Kenny, by abandoning Levi without any explanation, truly did send Levi the message that he was unwanted. And yet, Levi never blamed Kenny for abandoning him. He never blamed Kenny for not wanting him. He blamed himself. He thought it was something inherently wrong in himself that made Kenny leave, some inherent lack of worth in himself. Despite all that, Levi still held the strong belief that the lives of others mattered. That the lives of others were worth protecting and preserving and fighting for.

Again, that comes down to empathy.

Levi was shown just as much as Zeke that his life was worthless; through his environment, through his upbringing, and through the people he found himself surrounded by growing up, through their treatment of him. And we see that feeling of worthlessness in Levi demonstrated in “Bad Boy” through his plain suicidal ideation and actions.

But we never see Levi project that sense of worthlessness onto others the way Zeke does.

Again, because he has empathy. Because it’s a quality he was born with.

Levi is able to see and recognize the thoughts, feelings and desires of people outside of himself. Because he’s able to see and recognize other people as individuals, and because he doesn’t need to be able to directly relate to or see himself in people in order to respect them and acknowledge them as legitimate and real. He doesn’t need to be able to directly relate to other people in order to connect with them.

Zeke wasn’t able to do that because Zeke never had empathy. It was a quality he was born without. It’s why Zeke believes so strongly that the lives of everyone are worthless. Because he’s unable to recognize that just because he feels and believes his own life is worthless, that doesn’t make it true for others. It’s why he’s unable to understand that his own experiences, beliefs and feelings don’t give him the right decide that for others. It's why he does project his feelings onto everyone else, and why he sees everyone else as suitable tools for enacting his revenge against Grisha.

Because he’s incapable of, and further, unwilling to see or recognizing the thoughts, feelings or desires of anyone outside himself. Because he’s incapable of seeing them as individuals. Because he needs to be able to recognize himself in other people in order to respect them and acknowledge them as legitimate and real.

It’s why Eren is the only person Zeke ever pretends to love and care about, because he sees Eren as an extension of himself, as someone who went through the exact same experiences as him, and so, as the only person capable of understanding and worthy of sharing in his master plan. It’s why, in the end, Eren was able to manipulate Zeke so easily. Because Zeke didn’t see Eren as a real person, or as an individual outside of himself. He couldn’t conceive of Eren having his own thoughts, feelings or desires, because to him, Eren was just an empty vessel for him to project his own thoughts, feelings and desires onto. The same way Zeke did with everyone, in the end.

Again, that comes down to a lack of empathy.

I think all of this demonstrates the fundamental difference between Levi and Zeke, and proves beyond doubt that, though their upbringings and the environments they were raised in definitely had an impact on certain, surface-level qualities in their characters, their most essential, core selves are fully the product of their inherent natures and innate personalities.

Levi overcame the wretched circumstances of his childhood because he always had empathy in his heart. Because he was always innately kind and compassionate.

Zeke was unable to overcome the wretched circumstances of his childhood because he always lacked empathy. Because he was always innately narcissistic and cruel.

#Levi Ackerman #Zeke Yeager #Bad Boy #bad boy spoilers #analysis #commentary #meta

28 notes · View notes

y-rhywbeth2 · 1 day

Note

Hi. Read you post about the dead three's chosen, and I was wondering about the "We got the threat of sexual exploitation (assuming it didn't happen), there's a subtle undercurrent of incest to some interactions" part. Is this something in the game that I missed? Is it a dnd lore thing?

I also looked through some older posts about Bhaal/Durge stuff, and... Jergal is ruthless and manipulative?! How bad is he? Like, what can a Durge who is free of Bhaal and may be protected by Jergal expect, both in life and afterlife? Are there no good options for Durge (except maybe becoming immortal)?

Also just wanna say thank you for all your dnd lore posts. I've mostly just played in homebrew games, so wotc dnd lore hasn't come up much, and I'm learning so much from your posts!

The good news about Jergal is that he has at least shifted from Lawful Evil to Lawful Neutral, so he's probably somewhat less of a jackass...? We hope. He also tends to prefer subtler manipulation, and seems to let people's own personalities steer them (because they'll take them where he wants them to go naturally); Bane in particular is his unwitting puppet, apparently, but Jergal hasn't directly pulled the strings at all yet, for whatever reason. Jergal's faithful usually 'live' in the City of Judgement on the fugue, or he has them as undead scribes working in his temples on Toril (I imagine it's the same paperwork whichever plane you're on). It's a quiet, but not terribly interesting existence. I doubt he's steal Durge from Bhaal to use as a scribe though. Usually if he needs a servant on the Prime Material plane for some task or other he sends them back as an undead of some kind if/when they die (he likes mummies, usually). He might also be manipulating them into becoming some kind of powerful outsider he can subtly puppet like the Dead Three, or Kelemvor, or Cyric... I really don't know.

(Also I think we're supposed to take Jergal being the 'good guy' at face value in-game.)

Durge could move planes to escape the divine shenanigans. The Dead Three in current times are bound to Toril, and Jergal cannot directly bother you in the city of Sigil at the centre of the universe (which all gods are forbidden to enter on pain of total annihilation courtesy of the Lady of Pain. He can send pawns to bother you, but can't go there or do anything himself.)

No problem. (Unsurprising; homebrew is much easier to manage. I can't imagine how people who are obsessed with the lore of multiple DnD settings cope.)

And Durge's other 'duty' as Bhaal's Chosen, and their extremely normal relationship with their father is going under a cut.

There's nothing in tabletop lore, past a disturbing Bhaalist spell ('attraction') that can cause love/lust in targets, which is built into Bhaal's avatars and manifestations; some gods having a tendency to sleep with their followers; and a comment from Ed Greenwood that many clergy encourage people to have kids (more people raised from birth within the church = more souls and power for the deity). Also apparently having a tattoo of a god's holy symbol is often a turn on for that god's priests... for some reason...

This stuff mostly comes from the BG3:

The exploitation:

Durge is expected to provide more Bhaalspawn for Bhaal's plans, and always has been. It's most obvious in the feral ending, where Bhaal destroys their mind and puppets them directly, but it's still on their to-do list if they keep his 'love' and become his Chosen:

Sarevok Anchev: 'You failed to bring forth issue while you helmed our cult. It is a mortal sin for a Chosen. I even hoped you and my daughter might one day create a new blood-lamb for us, but it is not to be...'

Durge: 'When I bring ruin to the world, will Bhaal allow me to spare my beloved?' Sceleritas: 'Of course Master! We will always need to sire more Bhaalspawn! Although if they are not up to the task we may need to find you a breeding-mate. Or ten.'

As with anything else in Durge's life, they have no say in Bhaal's intentions for them. They start that conversation off by asking permission to keep their lover and don't even get to respond to being told that they're expected to be breeding stock, probably with a wider range of 'partners'. Just silent acceptance.

The incest:

As ever I could be reading into this, but I'm not the only person who picked up on it so maybe not.

The most overt instances of this implication crops up in the original feral ending and the current, where Bhaal is subjecting Durge to constant rape by inflicting sexual hyperarousal on them and forcing them to have sex in order to breed an army of Bhaalspawn by cross-breeding them with various monsters... which they don't actually remember, because it's not the monsters they're thinking of during the act, where it's implied that Bhaal is forcing them to think of him:

*Your memory of last night's act is absent. In the moment of mounting, your mind emptied itself, and you could think only of Bhaal. The gnoll's rump seemed to become his Temple's graven altar where you once led worship.*

"Father, I love you. I'm a good spawn. A good little spawn."*

Alternatively: "a good boy/girl."

And in one of the Bhaalist religious texts you can find in game that describes how Bhaal basically gives his followers orgasms when they murder:

"Once Bhaal's favour has quickened within one oh his beloved murderers, the bliss of his love is nigh-indescribable. For he blesses his loyal with a new sensation: a mindless, instinctual, primal sensation that comes within the bowels, an erotic spasm that washes over the killer, in the moment of murder. It is said that in that instant, his Divine Essence can almost be tasted. Forsake all other hedonisms, acolytes, for nothing can compare. Until the true ecstasies of murder wash over you, initiates, this scroll contains a prayer, you may say after a kill, calling for the Lord's disgrace to find its course in your body."

The Urge - which is Bhaal as much as it's Durge- does/can cause sexual arousal, which indicates that Bhaal does do this to them or is at least inflicting his own 'pleasure' on them by experiencing the kills through them.

*Your body feels aroused imagining a broken twisted neck, and a thrill thinking of a trailing intestine.*

'I feel the most intense pleasure [when killing]. Arousal, even.'

*The masterful painting [Minthara] depicts of the massacre awakens you hungrily.* Durge: 'Stop! I'm growing aroused!' or Durge: 'How delightful, I'm very eager to begin.' Nightwarden Minthara: 'Control yourself - you are as uncouth as the goblins.'

Notably Minthara responds the same even if Durge doesn't flat out say it, so I'd assume they're having the same response to that 'hunger' regardless.

In the same area you find that text, if you become the 'Chosen' of the Redcap masquerading as Bhaal to the kuo-toa, you get this:

*Mad guilt swills in your swooning, sick body. Today you became the tart of a false God, and your evil pride revolts.*

'Tart' being the polite way of saying 'whore', which on its own might just be a poetic way of calling them unfaithful to their religion, but with the extra context is beginning to form a potential pattern. I don't know whether Durge is referring to themselves, or if it's Bhaal calling them that. Or which is worse.

Similarly, the dream where Bhaal summons you to the duel with Orin to become his Chosen is labelled 'BloodWedding'. Again, wedding has more than one meaning, but it's most common usage is of the marital kind, and *gestures at the context of the fuckery above helplessly*

And if you go through with the whole thing and accept Bhaal, Sceleritas will tell you this:

'You and the Urge are wedded, now. One body, one mind.'

Oh, and if you have a love interest they're your 'false bride.' Let's not ask who the real one is.

Also this is a possible dialogue option if you sleep with the drow guy at Sharess' Caress and is meant to be humorous, but apparently Durge does take their daddy issues into the bedroom:

Player: 'I'm a disappointment to my father. Maybe we can work with that.'

I feel like I've forgotten some parts, but that's the gist of it.

#babbling #/durge #edgelord hours #villainous nonsense #long post

30 notes · View notes